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John Munch’s Final SVU Episode, Fashionable Crimes S17x20

Rest In Peace Richard Belzer

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Olivia + being hit on | 24x15: King of the Moon

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Hot take: EO is not ready to be together, no matter how much the fandom is ready for them to be. Elliot has barely acknowledged any of what had happened to Liv in the last 10 years. He hasn't asked. The one time he did, he fixated on her dating life. Not her kid, not her cases, not her trauma or how she made captain. Her dating life.

Doing all of that would mean admitting to her face that he was wrong to ghost her for a decade and that he regrets how much he missed (more than the half-assed version we got). Which will be hard for Stabler, who has a tough time being honest about his emotions anyway (the therapy is a FANTASTIC first step). Until he gets ALL of that information and tells her that, she's not going to be convinced he won't ever leave her again.

There's so much that's a part of her now that Stabler just doesn't know about.

And the one thing the fandom keeps forgetting is that Liv was traumatized by him leaving. One could argue Lewis was the peak of that truama on top of being his own hellbeast.

They were joined at the hip for 12 years. And then he just ghosted her. And for those four days when Lewis had her, she was forced to rely only on herself.

She's kept everyone else at a distance since he left. There have been dozens of moments in the last decade where she's been reminded of him-"did you really think he was going to look over one day and realize you were the woman he couldn't live without?"- But the last part of her that believed she wouldn't always need to save herself took a fatal blow when she saved herself from Lewis. Up until that moment, a small part of her geniunely hoped Elliot'd smash through the door and save her. She was thinking about him the entire time he was there.

But Stabler stayed gone, and she stayed alone, and she had to learn to be okay with it. His silence indicated to her that she wasn't in his thoughts, that everything she thought she knew about their bond wasn't real.

And then it was affirmed by Kathy's letter.

And then thrown off all over again by Elliot saying "In a parellel universe, it will always be you and I."

So. Many. Mixed. Signals.

Now he's back, and she's unwilling to take that wall down again because it's such a big risk. Ed was the only one after Elliot who even partially got through, and she did eventually shut him out when he got too close. Elliot has not earned his way back into her heart. He might have taken his first steps, but it's going to be a long road.

Or Benson is going to get abducted or something and Stabler's going to burst in and save her like he should have done a decade ago and it's going to make her understand that she can trust him again (this feels cheap to me as a social worker, but as a writer, it will make for great television)

This is all compounded by the fact that People. Keep. Walking. Out. On. Her.

The moment she forms what feels unbreakable, they're gone. The moment she feels safe and comfortable with them, they're gone. Munch, Craegon, Nick. Chief Dodds and his son. Barba. Stone. Kat. Garland.

And then Amanda almost died. And then Benson had to give her up too. Amanda, the closest thing she's ever had to a sister. Who's kids she's godmother too. The woman her son calls "Aunt" and has known since day one. Who has similiar problems and truamas, who was there for the worst moments of her life and went through her own with Liv right there.

I suspect the only reason Liv didn't take it even harder is because of Carisi. As long as she has him, Amanda's close by and she hasn't lost her completely. Amanda and Carisi are a packaged duo now (yet another set of partners Liv has watched get the happy ending she should have gotten with Elliot but that's another post).

She's still in a freefall though. It's why she's suddenly scrambling for reassurance from Fin that he's not leaving too. He's all she has left, the only one who's stayed. Ironically, he's the longest relationship she's ever had with a man now. Her brother in every way that matters.

Notice that while Fin struggles with Amanda leaving, he doesn't take it nearly as hard, at least that we've seen. He has Phoebe, after all. His partner- the one that mattered most, the one that came back. (All of this is being said before the Fin centeric episode in a week or two)

I've digressed here. Fin grounds her enough that she can keep working. He gets her to fill Amanda's desk. But she's still reeling. She's in no place to trust anyone new right now, or love anyone new.

And anything with Elliot she started right now would be new. Uncertain. And while she may know in her heart of hearts that he'll never leave her again, you cannot blame her for being tired of being hurt. That's what was happening when she stepped back from him to lean on the fridge. She wants to lean on him, fall into him, but she's so emotionally exhausted that she just can't risk it. She's Not Ready because she won't survive loving him again and then losing him again (too).

TLDR: I will defend Liv's reluctance to trust again to my dying breath and it's justified no matter how impatient I or the rest of the fandom get.

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People chatting about the subtext in the latest ep of svu- agreed to all points. She also says something to the effect of "it can be hard to make a u turn" re: repairing a relationship that is broken.

That stood out to me, because it was before the woman had the monologue about not knowing how to love and her messed up family, and it was before the "sometimes things just work out" comment. She really did go through some emotions about stabler out loud in that episode, which was really nice for continuity's sake after such a big moment between them.

She isn't ready for stabler because she isn't ready for forever, and that is FINE.

Going from him being categorically gone forever to him being in her home, in her physical space and essentially declaring his desire to be with her- that is a pretty massive u turn in such a short amount of time.

She's right to take her time with it, for about a million reasons.

He needs to really heal and work on himself.

They need to build a friendship that isn't fully based on one crisis after another.

They still need to have conversations about what Olivia has been through since he left, which means spending time with each other in a comfortable space.

She needs to confront her own dysfunction re: relationships.

Also, Noah. She's right to protect his heart.

It's all going at a believable pace from my pov- I mean he's been back 2 years and the amount of shit that's gone down in that time is kind of a lot.

I have a feeling the season finale will have some fireworks regarding all of it, but we will see.

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Captain✨️

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I was telling myself all week “oh, Intersection airs on 2/9, bleeeugh” Imagine my surprise when I was I N C O R R E C T .  I love being wrong.

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You know, you might want to try to be alone for a while. You need to learn to love yourself, before you can love anyone else.

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“Love and loss,” he said, “are like a ship and the sea. They rise together. The more we love, the more we have to lose. But the only way to avoid loss is to avoid love. And what a sad world that would be.”

–  A Conjuring of Light, by V.E. Schwab

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"Does it ever drive you crazy

Just how fast the night changes"

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39/∞ moments with Olivia Benson ♥

    ↪ 15.02 “Imprisoned Lives”

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THAT AIN’T WHAT HAPPENED, AND YOU KNOW IT.

Sorry. But there was nothing “steamy” about that scene.

And we all know very well that he was there because he brought Noah home upon Olivia’s request. And she’s exhausted, overwhelmed, and vulnerable... and he just wants her to be okay, and know she’s cared for despite everything.

It was a sweet and tender moment. It was emotionally raw and heartrending. And if anything, it was another step towards them both understanding one another just a little bit better.

Yeah. Not too crazy about romanticizing trauma for clicks and views.

I know, “it’s just a TV show”, but still pretty nervy of them to pick at it like that.

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So many people are pissed about the baiting. But honestly, that's what tv networks do... they preview "the juicy stuff" to get people to watch. The content wasn’t “cut at the last minute”, they picked that clip from probably several different takes because they know the fanbase. Not to mention, this isn't the first time they've done that, or taken scenes out of context for views... like the cafe scene, and some of their quotes in past previews being mixed around to make it sound like they’re going to ‘flirt’. Tactical. It’s nothing new. I actually loved how it all played out. The interaction between them felt so fluid... and it really captured both of their characters perfectly. Having been through the very beginnings of SVU up until the most recent episodes, it's nice to see how their relationship has evolved over time. And even now, the reparation and new growth for what's to come... I personally find it refreshing. In my opinion, it's better to see the struggle. The uncertainty in Olivia, the confidence in Elliot... and how they meet right in the middle. These things take time, and while "24 seasons" (14 not including the 10 he wasn’t there for, if we’re going with tv canon) seems like a lot, so is their relationship with each other. The progress they've made together since their reunion has been fantastic. Olivia trusts Elliot, but life has taught her that nothing can be trusted forever. It’s going to take a long while until she is ready to give all of herself to him. She’s always put on this ‘strong woman’ front for everyone, seeing vulnerability break through around him is commendable. I think character wise, Elliot knows he’s making progress, and his outpouring of patience and love is so nice to see. It’s all so subtle... but impactful when you consider the whole picture of who they are, and what this show is about: healing from trauma and finding closure.

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Yay, law and order night

Can't wait to watch my emotionally distressed television parents awkwardly hug in the kitchen tonight.

... LOL