#shipping grade meme

[b0ylik3r]

I dont wanna get myself involved in any more ZADR discourse, but I also don't want misinfo to spread around and people to get discouraged or anything like I had been for a while. So I'm going to say this: Zim in Invader Zim is most likely a child.

There are a plethora of reasons I think this, but if you don't care then scroll. I'm going to provide my reasoning under the cut.

My first reason is that from a writing standpoint, there is absolutely nothing appealing about the dynamic between Dib and Zim if Zim is an adult. What would or do you find enjoyment out of their dynamic if they are not meant to be foils of one another like the show HEAVILY implies them to be NUMEROUS TIMES? If Zim is a child, their dynamic becomes "2 children want parental approval and go against each other for it, when in reality the approval and love they seek is unattainable because the parental figures will never give them it. They would be better off being friends or allies, but instead keep fighting to be loved because they're dumb kids and don't realize that it's fruitless and dumb". If Zim is an adult, their dynamic becomes "Immature man cannot beat child". What is to be enjoyed or explored there?

My second reason is that Zim acts like a child in a multitude of different ways. His interactions with The Tallest, his general immaturity, and even how he surrounds himself. He goes to school. He has made himself robot parents to support that idea. He needs different disguises to act like an adult. Again, from a writing standpoint, if he was an adult infiltrating a school building and pretending to be a kid, that's just fucking weird. I don't think Jhonen is that type of person. I don't think the writers are that type of people.

Also on this subject is the episode Tak: The Hideous New Girl. At the point of the episode, Zim was trying to impress and "crush on" and be the boyfriend of this middle school girl. It doesn't matter if Tak was actually irken. It doesn't matter if she is the same age as him actually. It doesn't change that Zim was trying to get into a human relationship with what he thought was a middle school girl. If he is an adult, that's pretty fucking weird. Again, I don't think Jhonen is that type of person and I don't think the writers are that type of people.

The "flying ships before you were born" only proves that on Irk, he was an adult or at least the age that would permit him to fly ships. Calendars are manmade, why would irkens use the same years? Zim's age could also easily translate into human years into the late tween years. We also have to think logically about things.

Also, I sometimes feel like people are forgetting that Irk is a dystopian society. They are a hyper-militarized alien race that codes people's brains on the daily and does not wait for the children to grow up even a little before they start military training (or, at least training for military training). What morals prevent them from using child labor or child soldiers? We also have to remember that in accordance to The Trial, Zim was a smeet or older allowed into violent chemicals and resources that can kill, like it did Tallest Miyuki and Tallest Spork. That, in a way, proves that Irkens are not above dangerous child labor.

One other argument I have is that in Enter The Florpus, during the species change clip, Zim, Dib and Gaz switch species. The thing is, Dib and Gaz look the same as Zim in this clip. They don't become little smeets, they don't become tiny kids. They become Zim's age. Zim also does not become an old man in this clip. He stays the same as Dib and Gaz. Being that these are their canon human/irken translations, I don't see how someone could still defend this.

You could take all of this and say "Okay, but ZADR is still proship because they are abusive to each other so why are you so pressed". But like I said in a previous post, there is a major difference between "haha 2 people fight each other n get hurt haha" and "this adult man is grooming this child sexually". That's not funny. That isn't cartoony. That is a fully serious topic taken seriously in every single media that it is represented in. Cartoony unserious fighting has been a staple for years in animation and media. Grooming is not cartoony. That is why so many people have a problem with it. Some people don't enjoy shipping things that are seriously fucked up in the real world like that, or shipping proships.

This all started because of one singular tweet Jhonen made that you all believed. I bet if he tweeted "guys invader zim didnt actually happen and dib was hallucinating the whole time, lmao dream theory is canon", some of you would believe it.

I leave you off with this: "If it looks, sounds & acts like a kid, it's a kid, no matter if it's actually 1000 years old or not."

[moody-skyz]

@hamalicious-soup, I crown thee the Queen of Angst 👑

[k1dscout]

“I depend on you” Julian x Stevens/SadSpider fanart, from RC9GN.

[purple-astronaut]

I failed my math test, but sokkla

Sokkla makes everything better 😌❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥

[siren-darkocean]

Basically late book 2 of Samurai Series Phoenix Song

Image used not mine just added the text

[dragon-fly34]

Let's say that between these two, Sheila is the flirter, Bowser is the one who blushes right away

For my friend @marioandsonicfangirl793-art

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Marshmallow Longtermism

The paperback edition of The Lost Cause, my nationally bestselling, hopeful solarpunk novel is out this week!

My latest column for Locus Magazine is "Marshmallow Longtermism"; it's a reflection on how conservatives self-mythologize as the standards-bearers for deferred gratification and making hard trade-offs, but are utterly lacking in these traits when it comes to climate change and inequality:

https://locusmag.com/2024/09/cory-doctorow-marshmallow-longtermism/

Conservatives often root our societal ills in a childish impatience, and cast themselves as wise adults who understand that "you can't get something for nothing." Think here of the memes about lazy kids who would rather spend on avocado toast and fancy third-wave coffee rather than paying off their student loans. In this framing, poverty is a consequence of immaturity. To be a functional adult is to be sober in all things: not only does a grownup limit their intoxicant intake to head off hangovers, they also go to the gym to prevent future health problems, they save their discretionary income to cover a down-payment and student loans.

This isn't asceticism, though: it's a mature decision to delay gratification. Avocado toast is a reward for a life well-lived: once you've paid off your mortgage and put your kid through college, then you can have that oat-milk latte. This is just "sound reasoning": every day you fail to pay off your student loan represents another day of compounding interest. Pay off the loan first, and you'll save many avo toasts' worth of interest and your net toast consumption can go way, way up.

Cleaving the world into the patient (the mature, the adult, the wise) and the impatient (the childish, the foolish, the feckless) does important political work. It transforms every societal ill into a personal failing: the prisoner in the dock who stole to survive can be recast as a deficient whose partying on study-nights led to their failure to achieve the grades needed for a merit scholarship, a first-class degree, and a high-paying job.

Dividing the human race into "the wise" and "the foolish" forms an ethical basis for hierarchy. If some of us are born (or raised) for wisdom, then naturally those people should be in charge. Moreover, putting the innately foolish in charge is a recipe for disaster. The political scientist Corey Robin identifies this as the unifying belief common to every kind of conservativism: that some are born to rule, others are born to be ruled over:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/08/01/set-healthy-boundaries/#healthy-populism

This is why conservatives are so affronted by affirmative action, whose premise is that the absence of minorities in the halls of power stems from systemic bias. For conservatives, the fact that people like themselves are running things is evidence of their own virtue and suitability for rule. In conservative canon, the act of shunting aside members of dominant groups to make space for members of disfavored minorities isn't justice, it's dangerous "virtue signaling" that puts the childish and unfit in positions of authority.

Again, this does important political work. If you are ideologically committed to deregulation, and then a giant, deregulated sea-freighter crashes into a bridge, you can avoid any discussion of re-regulating the industry by insisting that we are living in a corrupted age where the unfit are unjustly elevated to positions of authority. That bridge wasn't killed by deregulation – it's demise is the fault of the DEI hire who captained the ship:

https://www.axios.com/local/salt-lake-city/2024/03/26/baltimore-bridge-dei-utah-lawmaker-phil-lyman-misinformation

The idea of a society made up of the patient and wise and the impatient and foolish is as old as Aesop's "The Ant and the Grasshopper," but it acquired a sheen of scientific legitimacy in 1970, with Walter Mischel's legendary "Stanford Marshmallow Experiment":

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_marshmallow_experiment

In this experiment, kids were left alone in a locked room with a single marshmallow, after being told that they would get two marshmallows in 15 minutes, but only if they waited until them to eat the marshmallow before them. Mischel followed these kids for decades, finding that the kids who delayed gratification and got that second marshmallow did better on every axis – educational attainment, employment, and income. Adult brain-scans of these subjects revealed structural differences between the patient and the impatient.

For many years, the Stanford Marshmallow experiment has been used to validate the cleavage of humanity in the patient and wise and impatient and foolish. Those brain scans were said to reveal the biological basis for thinking of humanity's innate rulers as a superior subspecies, hidden in plain sight, destined to rule.

Then came the "replication crisis," in which numerous bedrock psychological studies from the mid 20th century were re-run by scientists whose fresh vigor disproved and/or complicated the career-defining findings of the giants of behavioral "science." When researchers re-ran Mischel's tests, they discovered an important gloss to his findings. By questioning the kids who ate the marshmallows right away, rather than waiting to get two marshmallows, they discovered that these kids weren't impatient, they were rational.

The kids who ate the marshmallows were more likely to come from poorer households. These kids had repeatedly been disappointed by the adults in their lives, who routinely broke their promises to the kids. Sometimes, this was well-intentioned, as when an economically precarious parent promised a treat, only to come up short because of an unexpected bill. Sometimes, this was just callousness, as when teachers, social workers or other authority figures fobbed these kids off with promises they knew they couldn't keep.

The marshmallow-eating kids had rationally analyzed their previous experiences and were making a sound bet that a marshmallow on the plate now was worth more than a strange adult's promise of two marshmallows. The "patient" kids who waited for the second marshmallow weren't so much patient as they were trusting: they had grown up with parents who had the kind of financial cushion that let them follow through on their promises, and who had the kind of social power that convinced other adults – teachers, etc – to follow through on their promises to their kids.

Once you understand this, the lesson of the Marshmallow Experiment is inverted. The reason two marshmallow kids thrived is that they came from privileged backgrounds: their high grades were down to private tutors, not the choice to study rather than partying. Their plum jobs and high salaries came from university and family connections, not merit. Their brain differences were the result of a life free from the chronic, extreme stress that comes with poverty.

Post-replication crisis, the moral of the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment is that everyone experiences a mix of patience and impatience, but for the people born to privilege, the consequences of impatience are blunted and the rewards of patience are maximized.

Which explains a lot about how rich people actually behave. Take Charles Koch, who grew his father's coal empire a thousandfold by making long-term investments in automation. Koch is a vocal proponent of patience and long-term thinking, and is openly contemptuous of publicly traded companies because of the pressure from shareholders to give preference to short-term extraction over long-term planning. He's got a point.

Koch isn't just a fossil fuel baron, he's also a wildly successful ideologue. Koch is one of a handful of oligarchs who have transformed American politics by patiently investing in a kraken's worth of think tanks, universities, PACs, astroturf organizations, Star chambers and other world-girding tentacles. After decades of gerrymandering, voter suppression, court-packing and propagandizing, the American billionaire class has seized control of the US and its institutions. Patience pays!

But Koch's longtermism is highly selective. Arguably, Charles Koch bears more personal responsibility for delaying action on the climate emergency than any other person, alive or dead. Addressing greenhouse gasses is the most grasshopper-and-the-ant-ass crisis of all. Every day we delayed doing something about this foreseeable, well-understood climate debt added sky-high compounding interest. In failing to act, we saved billions – but we stuck our future selves with trillions in debt for which no bankruptcy procedure exists.

By convincing us not to invest in retooling for renewables in order to make his billions, Koch was committing the sin of premature avocado toast, times a billion. His inability to defer gratification – which he imposed on the rest of us – means that we are likely to lose much of world's coastal cities (including the state of Florida), and will have to find trillions to cope with wildfires, zoonotic plagues, and hundreds of millions of climate refugees.

Koch isn't a serene Buddha whose ability to surf over his impetuous attachments qualifies him to make decisions for the rest of us. Rather, he – like everyone else – is a flawed vessel whose blind spots are just as stubborn as ours. But unlike a person whose lack of foresight leads to drug addiction and petty crimes to support their habit, Koch's flaws don't just hurt a few people, they hurt our entire species and the only planet that can support it.

The selective marshmallow patience of the rich creates problems beyond climate debt. Koch and his fellow oligarchs are, first and foremost, supporters of oligarchy, an intrinsically destabilizing political arrangement that actually threatens their fortunes. Policies that favor the wealthy are always seeking an equilibrium between instability and inequality: a rich person can either submit to having their money taxed away to build hospitals, roads and schools, or they can invest in building high walls and paying guards to keep the rest of us from building guillotines on their lawns.

Rich people gobble that marshmallow like there's no tomorrow (literally). They always overestimate how much bang they'll get for their guard-labor buck, and underestimate how determined the poors will get after watching their children die of starvation and preventable diseases.

All of us benefit from some kind of cushion from our bad judgment, but not too much. The problem isn't that wealthy people get to make a few poor choices without suffering brutal consequences – it's that they hoard this benefit. Most of us are one missed student debt payment away from penalties and interest that add twenty years to our loan, while Charles Koch can set the planet on fire and continue to act as though he was born with the special judgment that means he knows what's best for us.

On SEPTEMBER 24th, I'll be speaking IN PERSON at the BOSTON PUBLIC LIBRARY!!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/04/deferred-gratification/#selective-foresight

Image: Mark S (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/markoz46/4864682934/

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

[twobluejeans]

HEARTBREAK ON TOUR!

charles leclerc x famous!reader

summary: in which the lavender haze has been lifted. or in which america’s it couple splits.

part 9:foreign affairs, series masterlist

faceclaim: madison beer

ally’s radio 📻: PART 9! anyways, stan y/n l/n for clear skin and good grades!✨😌

INSTAGRAM, july 18

liked by carlossainz, landonoriss, and 12,654,234 others

yourinstagram mood :') gonna cry all day lol. thank you for your warmth. thank you for listening n hearing me. i love you.

View all 64,627 comments

ntltcy/n whoever said the second slide is so real

danielricciardo I said what I said

zendaya ma’am is taking up all 10 spots on the 10 ten…that’s my best friend ❤️!!!

channeleclerc16_ she should just stick to acting…

beyonce well deserved! the song brought actual tears to my eyes

 yourinstagram beyonce  screaming crying shaking…thank u, i love u always

leclerc_pascale beautiful girl congrats

 yourinstagram leclerc_pascale  thank u mama

drewstarkey on repeat i fear 

ferarrileclerc i mean ... since the song is about charles that means he got another number one hit! charles congrats baby!

harrystyles A beautiful song from an even more beautiful person. Congratulations, Y/n/n—H.

ypurinstagram thank u sweet angel. miss you!

redlipclassicy/n harrystyles yourinstagram WHAT THE FUCK

JULY 18, 2023

Lola Ransdell Under Fire for Using the N-Word in Resurfaced Tweets

Not a good look.

BY ALLY JULY 17, 2023 11:15 AM

Lola Randell has some explaining to do. The 25-year-old came under fire on Sunday when Twitter users began resurfacing tweets of the model using the N-word in 2020. The receipts included direct messages and Instagram comments, in which Ransdell called her friends the racial slur, as well as tweets from Ransdell claiming that she could use the N-word because she’s “not white.”

In screenshots resurfaced by the Twitter PopHub, Ransdell can be seen calling someone an “ugly” N-word. The screenshots also include a group chat with some of her friends, in which she is called out for using the N-word. In her response, Randell explains that she can use the derogatory term because she’s not white. (Ransdell’s mother is Brazilian, but that still does not excuse her behavior.) “I’m not white tho so that’s awk,” Ransdell responded.

However, the receipts don’t end there. Along with the first screenshots, some users also resurfaced other old tweets, in which Ransdell said that she returned a “different race” after she spent some time tanning in Florida. (She accompanied the tweet with an emoji of a man with a turban.) Another screenshot also shows Ransdell liking a 2020 meme comparing Jay-Z to a Ransdell. One user also claimed to have a video of Ransdell rapping the N-word, though the audio is unclear.

Ransdell allegedly once tweeted, "leaving to Florida white but coming back to NY a different Race." The statement was accompanied by an emoji of a white blonde man and an emoji of a darker-skinned man wearing a turban.

A post from 2019 read, "With @chanteljefferies and that awkward moment when ur at a Chinese restaurant and your waiter isn't Chinese...."

The following year, she allegedly threatened, "Shut up before I smack you back to your own country!"

Screenshots also show the youtuber allegedly liking an Instagram post from 2018 about how only men and women should marry because the Bible says so.

Then there are the women-hating posts.

Ransdell allegedly liked an undated Instagram post showing a photo of Selena Gomez that posed the question, "Would you smack her for $835 BILLION?!" The person whose reply was featured in the meme read, "I'd smack her for a sweet tea from McDonald's."

In 2018, Ransdell allegedly tweeted about transgendered women" being "wicked slutty."

She's also been accused of openly hating on her boyfriend’s former partner, Y/n L/n.

Once a fan of Charles (and even of Charles and Y/n together), Ransdell  seemingly turned on the 26-year-old singer when "Your/Ship/Name" was on the rocks.She allegedly once followed a Y/n L/n  hate account on Instagram and allegedly favorited/liked a tweet from 2022 that showed a picture of Y/n and read, "She collects guys as if they were infinity stones."

How these receipts surfaced is unclear (many of them are private messages between Ransdell and her friends, so someone must have leaked them on the internet), but it’s certain that people aren’t happy with Ransdell using slur, even as a joke. After the tweets resurfaced, many users took to Twitter to call out Ransdell for her offensive behavior, as well as demand accountability and an apology from her and her Formula One boyfriend, Charles Leclerc. 

SEE MORE RELATED POSTS:

• Charles Leclerc finally addresses messy breakup with Singer Y/n L/n.

•Harry Styles just commented on Y/n L/n’s Instagram post for the first time in 7 years.

• Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince: Harry Styles and Y/n L/n’s relationship timeline

INSTAGRAM, july 18

liked by f1wh0re, corneliastreety/n, and 546,782 others

y/naflorals CHAR!ES SPEAKING ABOUT MOTHER TODAY IN AN INTERVIEW

View all 512 comments

dressy/n no comment.

lewismercedes ur joe king…ur joe. king.

leclerc16charles as a charles fan…idk either i’m sorry

TWITTER, july 18

INSTAGRAM STORIES, july 18

yourinstagram 9m

viewed by charlotee_siine, lewishamilton, and 245,321 others

TWITTER, july 18

ally’s radio 📻:i don’t like this chapter 😞. also pls know that anything that was mentioned within lola’s article is not something i condone!! pls don’t think i’m a bad person, it’s literally only just for the plot😭!! i got inspo off of hailey biebers old tweets sooo. if u see ur username but u weren’t tagged, it’s bc tumblr wouldn’t let me :( if u asked me to tag u and i didn’t, pls send me a message or inbox me bc it might’ve gotten lost 😭 i try to stay up-to-date but sometimes i miss people so pls lmk!!!

taglist ��🪩: @incoherenciass@dakotali@405rry@topaz125@sassyheroneckgiant@hevburn@itsmytimetoodream@ivegotparticulartaste@crowdedimagines @asterianax @haydee5010@scenesofobx@christinabae@magical-spit@dessxoxsworld@myareadsbooks@honethatty12@hopefulinlove@diasnohibng@gentlemonsterjennie1@hummusxx@eugene-emt-roe@taestrwbrry @perjarma @cxcewg@chimchimjiminie16@glow-ish@allywthsr @millyswife@mrsmaybank13@black-swan-blog27 @stargaryenx@lilsiz@ohthemisssery@leclerclvr@slytherinjimin3nthusiast@shessthunderstoms@cool-ultra-nerd@ncentic@playboykenz @canvashearts @tinyhrry @xeliaaaa @ifionlywould @gaviypedrisbride @callsignwindow @dhhdhsiavdhaj@chasing-liberosis@laneyspaulding19@a-daydreamersday@saikikusouswife@motorsp0rt@lifesuckslife@shessthunderstoms@drewsandsebastianswife @sainzluvrr@ietss @agustdlvr @sarahkaliii @sweethoneyblossom1@sticksdoesart @ayoanna @c0wgirlswag @ifionlywould @l1ghtaura @ellesmythe @avada-kedavra-bitch-187

[gotstabbedbyapen]

I have very complicated feelings for the Vengeance Saga (after the first listen)

Disclaimer: I will only criticize Epic the Vengeance Saga as a work on its own, not for its inaccuracy or deviation from mythology and The Odyssey. There are more knowledgable people who can point out and analyze the changes in Epic the Musical, but that is not what I'll be tackling here.

To put it bluntly, I'm not being angsty about it as I should. The whole saga just... didn't feel right with me.

Now, first off all, I'm a big fan of Epic and had been following it since the Cyclops saga (first version). I've been in love with many songs and hyperfixed it for months on end. But when the Vengeance saga came along, I didn't feel that same bubbling love rise in me.

Even as a fan, this isn't my first time having peeves with Epic. I didn't jam with the re-release sagas for a while, I'm underwhelmed with the Circe VS Odysseus fight and other issues, very unpopular opinion but "Monster" wasn't too impactful to me, and also the God Games (especially Zeus' attack).

The Vengeance Saga though? Well, they say we gotta do the Bun-Meat-Bun (or whatever the hell its name really is) technique when giving criticism, so I'll start with the good parts.

I love that Odysseus looked so done with Calypso in "Not Sorry For Loving You". They're basically this meme:

Like sorry you're a sad but you're still an abuser 😒

Then Odysseus starts singing the reprise for "Full Speed Ahead" but there's no one to back him up. That one hits me hard. To whoever on Tumblr said that after the Thunder Saga we will never hear the crew's back-up again and Odysseus' singing will be answered with silence, Apollo really blessed you with the red ball.

Hermes and the Winions' part was really cool too! I really like them being mischievous helper! The warning about the wind bag and the changing scene of Odysseus fighting off sea monsters while Hermes just vibing with the beats is 👌👌👌

But after that the hype started to sizzle out for me. You might want to skip this part if you're not comfortable with harsh criticism because I WON'T hold back.

It's really backward but I like the Odysseus VS Charybdis draft more than the final production. Charybdis' roars and music are somehow less intimidating, which is a shame because I thought this would be one of the biggest struggles Odysseus will face. Even with awesome illustrative animatics, the scene wasn't as thrilling as I've expected.

The other songs got massive improvement from its draft version (on top of my mind I can think of "Thunder Bringer", "There Are Other Ways", "Little Wolf"), but I don't get why "Charybdis" didn't get up-graded as much like them. It's like a cake that was throughly baked but half decorated and it just didn't taste as good as I've hoped.

Then we have the Odysseus VS Poseidon part in "Get In The Water" and "Six Hundred Strikes". The first thought I had for GITW is this song sounds like all the draft snippets were mashed together without a smooth transition/connection between them. Jorge and Steven's performance is great, but there's not enough tension for me to dread for Odysseus. When Poseidon first met Odysseus in "Ruthlessness", the whole opening was terrifyingly good! And we didn't even have any illustration animatic back then! (that's not to say the GITW animatics were bad, they just can't salvage much when the song itself was already weak)

I wasn't impressed with Poseidon's Shatter The Ocean move either. It's supposed to be the Strongest AttackTM but it's less scary than when he and the Laestrygonians destroyed Odysseus' eleven ships with probably 1% of their power. It didn't even help when Poseidon looked like he's having a seizure with lights pouring out of his eyes and mouth during the transformation.

Odysseus being literally on the brink of death with the souls of his loved ones pulling him into the abyss is a gem in the rough, but because we've seen Odysseus almost drowning before in the end of the Thunder Saga, it's not as shocking as it should be. Furthermore, Poseidon could have instant-killed Odysseus right then and there but didn't really annoyed me. But I guess he just wanted Odysseus to slowly suffer while dying.

Right when I thought the progress will get better, it... gets down. I can go with Odysseus using wind to escape the water, but him wearing it like a jetpack is so comical it ruined the drastic of the situation. And I'm officially let down when Odysseus FUCKING ATTACKED Poseidon in "Six Hundred Strike".

What? Just... why with that choice?

Look, I'm not gonna fault Epic for making creative liberties from the source material (as said in the disclaimer), but I will criticize if that change contradict itself in the transformative work. And this is one of them.

Poseidon and the gods have been proven time and time again in the musical just how powerful they are. Their ominous and grandiose entrances, them striking fear and inferiority in our hearts just by singing. Even Circe, a low-level goddess, poses a constant threat to the crew and Odysseus had to get help from Hermes just to get a chance to corner her (and Hermes even joked that he can still die!)

Poseidon easily destroyed almost all of Odysseus' fleet. Odysseus was very avoidant of him, opting to go to the literal Underworld to find instruction on how to dodge him and sailing through Scylla's lair + willing to sacrifice six men for safe passage. And when Poseidon said he can drown all of Ithaca, it's not just bluffing, he would and could have done that. Yeah, the King of the Sea is THAT BIG of a threat.

So no, Odysseus isn't cool to attack Poseidon, he's being stupid. I'm not even cheering for him the whole time he fight, just groaning at how ridiculous the whole thing is. If Epic is more believable and sticks to WHAT IT HAD ESTABLISHED BEFORE, having a sudden burst of anger and choosing ruthlessness won't save Odysseus from one swipe of Poseidon's trident. Odysseus stood no chance against one of the most powerful deity, even if he's the protagonist and love his family.

Not only that, Poseidon didn't even defend himself and was wounded by a mere human! And he just sat there and took all the blows and insults from Odysseus??? And he actually begged Odysseus to stop and agree to quell the storm to let him get home??? I'm not buy that bullshit. I'm more upset that a literal Olympian god was nerfed down than Odysseus having a Gary Stu moment. Give me a break, that try-hard moment to be cool and edgy just show how badly written the scene is.

What's the fucking point of hyping up how dangerous the gods are if a human can take one down? Tell me this isn't some Wattpad-y Greek myth retelling fanfic where the teenage Y/N sass her way to defeat an entire pantheon. Epic really traded its opportunity to be better for some cheap and out-of-the-blue dramas in this saga, dare I say it's even worse than Zeus' OOC attack on Athena. I'm very disappointed with that decision.

On an end note, the saga did have one saving point with the "After everything you've done, how will you sleep at night?" - "Next to my wife" lines. Odysseus knew he could be the most horrendous man ever and Penelope would still choose his side, that just show how powerful their love and faith in each other are.

But not enough to excuse all the terrible cinematic choices.

[got-into-worm-by-mistake]

Okay, I've Read Worm: A Retrospective Part 1: How The Fuck Did I Get Here?

I don't know exactly what I'm going to be doing with all these posts, but at a minimum, we will be having the following, not necessarily in this order:

A discussion of some of the parts of Worm I liked most. Some genuine and well-earned praise for Wildbow.

An analysis of Amy Dallon as she exists in Worm, though more for unpacking my own thoughts in one place rather than some deep literary stuff.

A discussion of things I was genuinely surprised by in the Text itself versus the stuff I picked up via fandom osmosis and fanfic. Expectation vs reality and stuff.

A discussion of just who the fuck the target audience of Worm actually probably maybe was, and what the fuck I just read.

And a detailed (for my own unpacking of thoughts than to convince anyone of anything) discussion of why I'm not going to read Ward. Nothing new there, but still, it'll be nice to put it all one one place.

But first, let's take a step back and answer one very important question: How in the bloody fuck did I end up here? How the fuck did reading Worm even happen? Because as I've said before, superhero media isn't my thing, I'm definitely not the target audience for Worm, and while I enjoyed it, only liking it 60% is a barely passing grade, as it were.

So how the blue hell did I end up here?

I don't know exactly when I first became aware of Worm. What I do know is that I was loosely aware of it by 2019, because I was active on SpaceBattles, and of course, Worm is all over there. I'd see the name, and I knew it referred to a work of fiction, but that's about all I knew. It might have been before 2019 that I first heard the name, it might not have. I say by 2019, because I know that sometime in 2019, I was in a discord server associated with one of the many spinoff sites to Spacebattles (I believe it was Frozen in Carbonite, which was honestly a pretty noxious website but I didn't know that going in) and I made a post using this meme:

And I got an answer that was something to the effect of 'It's an edgy villain protagonist superhero story'. And so I shrugged, and I moved on. Not my speed. Superheroes aren't my thing, not really, not in of themselves. I first got into AoS watching it with my then GF back in... 2015? And then I got into shipping Skyeward in it. Then I watched Arrow because some of the people I followed from Skyeward were into it and again, pretty much stayed for the shipping and certain characters. Flash and Legends of Tomorrow and Supergirl were entered into as branching off from Arrow.

And yes I've watched a good chunk of the MCU, but mostly because why not watch a movie and there's a handful of characters I liked. But I've never read a single superhero comic book, as far as I can recall, and I've never really been super into any superhero cartoons, just watched them if they happened to be on Cartoon Network when I was a kid.

At some point between then and this year, I found a Worm CYOA on r/nsfwcyoa, and despite never having read it, gave it a look, played around with it, and picked up random errant facts about the story and characters therein. I would revisit this CYOA and similar ones as they got updates, and along the way got my first exposure to the whole 'fanon' problem of the Worm fandom, when one of the options in one of the CYOAs was to make certain popular fanon true for the version of Earth-Bet 'your character' appeared in for the CYOA. Things like making Woobie Amy true, or turning Vicky into the Collateral Damage Barbie she's cast as by some people, et cetera.

And then, at some point probably late last year or early this year, I think, I was on Questionable Questing (the pervert uncle of Spacebattles, as it were) and I saw a fic get posted that was Worm - so, prepared to ignore it - and then I saw it was also tagged with several of my kinks. And I've read smutfics that aren't for one of my fandoms if I really like the kinks and it's just a smutfic, so I gave it a show. How much do you need to know about the source canon for a smutfic, eh?

I don't remember much about that fic, or even which of my kinks in particular it had, but I would read a few other such stories here and there until sometime in... probably May or so, maybe late April, when I made an errant post on QQ in a thread discussing stories you considered but never actually read, that I had considered Worm (because by then I had, ish, after some of the various go-arounds with the CYOA and picking up bits of osmosis here and there) but that the whole thing sounded too bleak and grimdark and depressing.

This spawned a conversation about Worm, and if it was really grimdark (one person I think went so far as to say it wasn't even depressing or bleak, and oh to live in that person's world) and if it was really a deconstruction or a love letter to superhero media or a takedown of superhero media or w/e. And at some point, someone made a comment about Wildbow having disdain for his fans, or something like that.

And I was like 'I feel like there's a story there'. And yes there was. One of the things that came up were the so-called 'retcons' of Ward re: Amy (whether or not they are actually retcons is beyond the point of this post, please don't discuss it here). And here's the thing, my thought then was: I've been there.

I've been there when characters have been set on, or are seemingly being set up for, some kind of redemption arc, and then some new installment pulls the rug out from under the character in a way that feels very, very deliberately aimed at fans of the character. Grant Ward is the most notable case of this for me. 2015 and 2016 me had quite a few things to say about that. 2024 me lacks the energy or desire to go into detail.

It's not fun, either way. So I sympathized. And I figured that probably meant Amy Dallon would be my sort of character. But I didn't want to read Worm - it sounded depressing, it was 1.6 million words, Taylor didn't sound super appealing and I knew she was the main POV, and superheroes aren't my thing.

But it wouldn't leave my head. So I started poking around on places like r/parahumans (a den of bad takes and noxious fans if there ever was one) and r/WormFanfic and the Parahumans wiki and looked through a few threads on SB and started trawling the Amy Dallon tag here on Tumblr and developed some thoughts.

Amy Dallon, and the injustice of what happened to her in Ward had crawled inside my head and it wasn't going anywhere. I ranted to my friends about all the shit I'd learned and was like 'I HAVEN'T EVEN READ THIS WORK AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I WANT TO AND IT JUST WON'T LEAVE MY BRAIN!'. I remember seeing a post saying something about how someone who had read worm couldn't relate to people who hadn't and weren't constantly thinking about Amy and I reblogged it saying 'I haven't even read Worm and I'm constantly thinking about Amy' and I think the OP of the post reblogged my reblog and called me a whole new kind of person or something. I don't remember and don't care to go digging.

The things that held me back the most continued to be the sheer length of Worm, a fear that Taylor would be insufferable and the fact that it still sounded godforsakenly depressing. (2 out of 3 ain't bad, as Meatloaf Says). So eventually I decided to go poking around and read some fic to get the idea if I'd actually read it. I don't remember all the ones I read in this period, but they included: I, Panacea, Desperate Times Call For Desperate Pleasures, Queen of Blood and More Than Meets The Eye. It was around this time I also started getting multiple Worm Fic Ideas, which was... fun. Because you know, it's one thing to read fanfic without knowing the source canon, but I've always loathed in previous fandoms when people say they're writing a fic for a canon they've only read fic from (and was always an immediate X-out for me) and I have too much dignity self-respect as a writer to do that myself.

Now, fic ideas don't mean I have to write them. I have ASOIAF and TVD fic Ideas I'm never going to write, and my notebooks across the ages are littered with fic Ideas I had and then put aside and never wrote. Some still haunt my dreams like Edgar Allen Poe's Telltale Heart. But still.

Eventually, after someone made a comment to me to the effect of 'with all due respect, if you haven't read Worm, shut up about it' I decided to at least make an effort to read it. Spite was my original intent - I wanted to see if my opinion about Amy's storyline in Worm specifically would remain the same (and it broadly has) and if so, I would feel satisfied I'd been right.

(For the record, It did remain the same (pretty much, more on this in a future post) and I do feel satisfied that I was right.)

And so, on June 16th, half on a whim and half because I knew I'd have things to say and I wanted to section them off my main blog, I made this blog and began reading Gestation 1.1. I gave it even odds in my head I'd give up before I was more than a few arcs in.

Wasn't even tempted until Arcs 12 and 13. Then was tempted again in the absolute nadir of the work, 17-19. And then again during the Behemoth fight. Once I got past that, I was never temped.

So that's I got here. Existing adjacent to Worm for years, some osmosis, an ill-timed comment, some snarky responses and a character that burrows into my brain by hitting all of my buttons.

[cjbolan]

Reblogging bc why not

ship bingo: Emily x Aaron and/or Emily x Shona (Emily Windsnap)

Yay 2 asks! I used to ship Emily x Aaron. Especially in Book 4. But after that, seeing how Emily keeps...

picking fights with Aaron because she misjudged his innocent gestures

questioning her relationship with him

jumping to the worst conclusions about him

ogling other boys and comparing how handsome they are to Aaron, WHILE she's still dating Aaron!

...they're really better off as just friends. Nearly all the problems in their relationship are Emily's fault, and Aaron is always the better person. Honestly Aaron deserves someone better. I'm just glad Emily and Aaron eventually broke up. Maybe Liz Kessler was building up to that.

I honestly think Emily x Shona would be a much better couple! Their "friendship" is much more reciprocal. They're both constantly changing and learning how to be better friends to each other. For being "friends" for only a year, they act like they've known each other for years. With they way they share all their innermost thoughts and secrets. And how they always miss each other. And GOOD GOSH the lesbian subtext between these two...

Emily/Shona’s extremely close female friendship despite having other female friends 

The repeated rainbow motifs (Rainbow Rocks, Jake’s rainbow jewelry )

The Rainbow Rocks being a secret meeting spot both for forbidden interspecies couples, and for their forbidden interspecies friendship 

Emily’s and Shona’s short-lived hetero romances. Only their close "friendship" stays constant throughout the entire series. 

Emily’s recurring nightmares of being treated like a freak if people discover her secret (that she can become a mermaid just like Shona) 

Emily keeping her friendship with Shona a secret throughout Book 1

Their "special place" is the same place where Emily's parents fell in love

They visit all the same places that Emily's parents used to visit together

Shona making that "no adventures" rule to keep Emily all to herself

Emily and Shona envy each other for seeming happier with a boy instead

Emily is much more remorseful about fighting with Shona than with Aaron

All the long gazes between Emily and Shona

Shona sometimes blushing when she's with Emily

The author Liz Kessler is lesbian, so less likely the above points are all just coincidence

(BONUS: if Emily Windsnap ever does get adapted onscreen, I’d love to see it draw parallels between Emily/Shona’s forbidden friendship and Mary P./Jake’s forbidden romance. )

BASED ON THIS MEME TEMPLATE

[wardensantoineandevka]

ngl, I'm really exhausted with how many like works of fanart, both serious and meme-y, have extensive kvetching in the work or caption about how people do not like the way the Lucanis/Rook romance happened—even on memes and jokes that involve other romances!

I'm tired of trying to look up video clips of Neve/Lucanis romance scenes and the description and sometimes even the intro to the video is a long rant about how upset people are about the execution of Lucanis/Rook romance.

like, I am a grade A complainer (and I'm complaining right now), and I think it's valid to feel upset that it isn't what you want or expected, but it's EXHAUSTING for me to constantly feel that a solid quarter of Lucanis-related posts including fanart contains a rant about how much people don't like that the romance doesn't do what they want or expect.

yes, vent art, I know, but it makes the space really exhausting. it's alienating when even otherwise nice posts or works because it just has this thrown in.

are we not all tired? why are you limiting yourselves to creating predicted on how upset you are that you don't have what you want? why are we spending our energy on kvetching about how we don't have what we want instead of, like, doing the transformative work where you do get what you want?

it just feels like we're just getting trapped in this tar pit of complaining that the romance isn't what you expected or wanted to the point that it is deeply shaping the way people even make transformative works ABOUT that relationship, that people are starting to be unable to separate it FROM their grievances to the point that they're allowing this dramatic shadow of "the game didn't do it how I wanted" cast over all their work that's trying to imagine the ship otherwise.

[izzabela]

Karaoke Pick-Me-Up - Earthrealm players x GN!reader

in which a date you went on went horribly, and the Earthrealm boys design a karaoke night for you

ships: raiden, kung lao, kenshi & johnny x gn!reader

warnings: incredible amounts of fluff, harem(?), you're as dense as a rock to the feelings of these men, NOT POLY

based on the "Oh fuck, it's in Korean!" meme

You were completely lost- your mind in a different plane of existence as you felt Kung Lao's elbow connect with your cheek, a dirty left-hook sending you tumbling and grounded.

Groaning, you get up slower than usual and hold onto your cheek, a bruise already forming and turning yellow-green.

"By the gods, are you alright?!" Kung Lao calls to you, rushing to your side to help you up.

You strain, leaning into his shoulder as you continue to hold onto your cheek. Kung Lao's exclamation alerts the attention of the other boys, Kenshi, Johnny, and Raiden, who disregard their sparring partners and head over to you and Kung Lao. At the sight, Johnny, Raiden, and Kenshi quickly piece the story together, looking at the prideful farmer with eyes ablaze.

The Fengjian-native is begging for his life with his eyes, while his friends are already planning creative ways to dispose of him. The commotion is enough to get Liu Kang involved, a couple of monks behind him as he rushes to the growing crowd.

"Is everything alright?" Liu Kang asks, authority emanating from his tone.

Kung Lao steps up immediately, "I am so sorry, Lord Liu Kang. We were sparring under the direction of one of the monks. I went too hard and hurt them in the process, but they didn't even bother to block! When the hit landed, it was too late for them, and me..."

Liu Kang looks at you, softness in his eyes, "Is this true?"

You nod and smile weakly, "Yes, Lord Liu Kang. I'm just a bit out of it today. With your permission, I'd like my wounds tended to."

Liu Kang thinks for a bit, but ultimately lets you go, "One of the monks will accompany you to the infirmary. Please, rest well." His voice calls your name, kindness and a bit of pity in his voice.

He turns to the rest of the boys as soon as you walk away, "Everyone else, back to training. The tournament may be months away, but we cannot afford to linger and waste our efforts."

Everyone bows, Kenshi, Johnny, Raiden, and Kung Lao heading off back to their posts. However, Liu Kang grabs onto Kung Lao's shoulder, to which he audibly gulps.

"You, on the other hand, will remain by my side," he says with some harshness.

Kung Lao turns around and sees Liu Kang point to the space next to him. He sighs and gets on his knees, the gravel mildly uncomfortable for him. His arms are raised and in the air, this punishment eerily similar to the ones he used to get when he was in grade-school.

A couple of hours later, plus Kung Lao getting an earful from each of the boys, they decide to check on you in the infirmary. Weirdly, you never came back to training for the rest of the day, and it bothered them because: 1. Liu Kang doesn't breaks nilly-willy, and 2. It isn't the designated break day of the week.

As the boys walk together, they still pick at Kung Lao and his poor string of choices.

"How many times must I apologize before I am accepted again?" He pleas behind them.

Raiden sighs, turning to his best friend, "When we feel like it, Kung Lao. After all, a left-hook like that was definitely meant for more than a spar."

He groans and looks to Johnny, the (usually) happy-go-lucky man of the people. However, Johnny's filled with reason, a rare occurrence.

"Sorry, farm boy, but Raiden's right. That move was uber uncalled for."

He sighs, not bothering to ask for Kenshi's point of view, a gnawing feeling telling him that he'll parrot what they'd already said.

Nearing the infirmary, they notice the slide-window is open, allowing full view of your face and... Lord Liu Kang? The boys look among each other and decide to close in on your conversation with the fire god. After all, is it stalking when they're worried for a friend? Staying out of sight, all four of them can hear the entire conversation you're having with him.

"It's nothing, Lord Liu Kang, my mind was just occupied with something else. Tomorrow, I will be at my best."

"Worry often takes energy from the task at hand. I would like all of my champion-candidates in the best shape possible; that includes mentally."

The men look amongst one another. What did he mean by that? And what exactly happened during last week's designated break day? You groan and lay down, explaining your dilemma to the god without looking at him.

"I, uh, went on a date during last week's break day. This person I'd really been eyeing agreed to bowl with me, and I thought we hit it off pretty well. I mean, I thought we hit it off well..."

Outside, the four boys pitied your situation, Johnny and Kenshi relating a little harder than the younger men. Kung Lao sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, whispering to his friends.

"Do you all think I knocked them deep into their thoughts?"

Raiden smacks the back of his head, a quick thwack throwing Kung Lao's head forward making his hat fall off as well.

You continue, "At the end of our night together, this person told me that they weren't interested. Worse, they said that they went along with it as part of a bet."

Liu Kang's face morphed into something between disgust and sadness, and your friends outside were planning the murder of this person. Why would anyone do that, especially to you? You're kind, hilarious, and hot- the perfect combo! Their hearts broke for you even more, staying silent to hear the rest of your story. They can hear your rustling in bed, turning and shifting in some sort of position.

You sighed loudly, "I had planned to go to a karaoke bar after bowling, trying to end the night on a positive note. Instead, I just sat in that room alone, crying quietly."

They hear Liu Kang speak, "I am sorry for such an experience, my friend. That person does not deserve your kindness or heart."

You nod, "Silly of me to cry over something like that, huh? I'm over here, learning how to fight to protect our home, yet I dwell on such matters."

Liu Kang disagrees, "Demigod or not, I understand this feeling very well. This is a matter that means much to you, so do not disregard your own pain for the benefit of something else."

The boys agree, nodding and whispering how to go and cheer you up. If Liu Kang wanted you at your best, the boys would be part of helping you get back to where you were. They quickly left their hiding spots, figuring out what you needed in order to be yourself again.

"You think they'd like dinner at Madame Bo's? Madame Bo wouldn't mind, and we all know how much they like to eat," Kung Lao offers.

While a great idea, Kenshi disagrees, "They must be feeling like a burden right now. We need something that erases that feeling. Sure, having someone cook for you is great, but what about the idea that 'Oh, they must be cooking for me because they have to?'"

Motion carries among the men, Kung Lao also accepting defeat as they keep brainstorming ways to help you. Raiden offers an attempt too, a much softer idea.

"What about a day in the hot springs? There's a great local spot near mine and Kung Lao's place, and nothing beats a hot bath to take your mind off from bad memories."

This time, Johnny speaks some sense about this idea.

"As much as that's a great idea, they might feel forced to relax instead of doing it themselves. We need something that screams 'burden begone!'" Johnny finishes his wisdom with some funky jazz hands.

Raiden accepts his loss, heading back to the mental drawing board of ideas to help you feel better. All that thinking must've felt like an eternity, because they've all made it only to the courtyard. Dummies all cleaned up and in order, training weapons put away, and the torches lighting up the paths in the night, Kung Lao exclaims with an idea.

"I got it! Everyone, listen up..."

=====================

A couple of days later, it was this week's designated day off. You had been beating yourself up over the last couple of days, subjecting your body to more stress and strain to make up for your inadequacies and actions. Once the monks and Liu Kang dismiss you and the rest of the champion-candidates for your break, you immediately head into your room and pack up.

Briskly walking away, you were stopped by the illustrious actor himself. A dramatic hand outstretched, his chin up and proud. You smile playfully and ask what's up.

"My friend," he begins with a dramatic British accent, "I request your presence at my manor this evening. Seven p.m., on the dot, for a celebration in your honor is in order."

You hear a set of feet pitter-patter behind you, Kung Lao's figure in front of you with a rolled up piece of paper. You chuckle and take it, playing along with the skit.

"Thank you, servant. I shall be upon you when the time comes. However, good sir, it is not my day of birth. So, pray tell, what this occasion could possibly be for?"

Behind some bushes, Kenshi and Raiden watch the scene in front of them unfold, the former smacking his hand onto his forehead. Raiden laughs quietly, still watching your movements. They sit there, guarding the stuff they had packed early, waiting for them to return.

Kenshi scoffs, "I can't believe we agreed to this..." Raiden, agreeing with his feelings, points out to him the undeniable truth.

"We cannot be mad at Johnny and Kung Lao, though. Look at them, they're making them smile already."

Kenshi watches in behind the shrubbery and notices the radiant smile on your face. His face reddens just a smidge before turning away, rubbing his face to rid the natural warmth to floods it. Raiden, on the other hand, wears his feelings with pride as his blush is more apparent.

After bidding farewell, Kung Lao and Johnny get to where the other two are, stating the success of the invitation. At this, the boys gathered their belongings and dashed into the open portal, being quick and trying to remain unseen.

After all, they had a party to plan.

=====================

You arrive at the front of Johhny's mansion, well, "large house". Since the divorce from his wife, he had down-sized to something "smaller", yet the house still remained rather roomy- it had a movie room and a large patio overlooking the shore of the west coast. You put a brave face on, trying to forget what happened last week. After all, you would be with your friends, and that alone would make you feel a lot better.

The door swings open and Johnny's bright smile is on, holding a microphone in one hand, and taking your arm with his other. You're taken aback by this, but you can't think about it as you're dragged into his house. You can hear the bumping of a stereo system, and a voice singing quite loudly with a faint echo.

The media room's door is cracked ajar just a bit, but in the crack you can see Kung Lao belting a Chinese song, a song that sounds like something the aunties in Chinatown would sing during Chinese New Year. Raiden and Kenshi are laughing, the former playing the tambourine and the latter filming on his phone.

"Guys, guys! Our honored guest is here!" Johnny announces.

You sheepishly wave your hand, "Hey guys... what's all this?"

Kung Lao stops singing for a bit, the instrumental continuing, "It's, uh, our rest day hang out day!"

You sigh and roll your eyes, "Great cover, but I don't buy it. Seriously, what is it?"

Johnny can feel the mood depress, and Kenshi spills the beans.

"We, uh, overheard your conversation with Lord Liu Kang in the infirmary. We wanted to cheer you up, make you feel better before the tournament. You mentioned karaoke, so, uh, well..."

Raiden comes up to you and takes your hand into his, rubbing it lightly with his thumbs, "You don't deserve what that person did to you. Your very being lights up the room, ignites our hearts. We want to keep your flame alight."

The boys nod in agreement, Kung Lao sending a finger heart your way. You smile fully, pearly whites in view as you accept their kindness. These four boys, all from different backgrounds and stages of life, befriended you, trained with you, and learned to love every part of you.

While you thought it simply being platonic, the others have been eagerly waiting to give you their heart, and were burning holes into the back of Raiden's head with the stunt he pulled.

"Well then," you announced, unclasping your hands from his, "Let's get tonight rolling!"

The evening commenced as the boys had hoped, you jumping into every opportunity to sing, dance, and enjoy yourself with your friends. You sang duets with Kung Lao, wept at Raiden and Kenshi's solo songs, and became an accompaniment with the provided tambourine to Johnny's songs. It played out like a coming-of-age movie; and you didn't want this to end.

Many songs, duets, and hours later, you decide to switch it up and play a K-pop song, a girl group for you, Johnny, and Kung Lao to sing. Raiden was taking a bit of a break, and Kenshi had gone to the bathroom, making you three the only available singers for the moment. As the song plays, though, you see Kung Lao having second thoughts.

"Oh fuck, it's in Korean!" he exclaimed. Johnny, however, makes no mistake as he sang the intro.

You, Kung Lao, Raiden, and Kenshi (who opened the door after relieving himself) were in shock at the actor's talent. Fluent Korean passed his lips as he clutched his t-shirt, pouring his soul into the song. You couldn't take it anymore and fell to your knees, wheezing and gasping for air as you laughed/cried at the scene in front of you.

Johnny doesn't care though. He peaks from the corner of his eye and watched you clutch onto your stomach, the sound of your laughter filling his heart up with butterflies.

Kung Lao steals Kenshi's phone, swiping to begin recording this, "Lord Liu Kang is going to love this!"

You don't really remember the rest of the night, knocking out cold and sleeping first. However, as you slept, you could hear hushed voices, movement of equipment and bodies, and the adjustment of fabrics before you were scooped up and put onto a bed. Instead of a blanket, however, the four men cuddled against you, providing the necessary warmth needed to keep you softly asleep.

Snuggling into the warmth and protection of the four men, you sleep peacefully, grateful for the Elder Gods to have blessed you with amazing friends.

=====================

bonus scene - the Lin Kuei

Liu Kang was a bit worried when you five didn't come through the portal for training. A little peeved, he sent Bi Han, Kuai Liang, and Tomas to fetch you five from Johnny's home and bring you back to the Academy. While Tomas and Kuai Liang were okay with it, Bi Han was (understandably) pissed off.

"Those doddering fools, making us do petty chores-"

"Easy brother," Kuai Liang coaxed, "Let us finish the task, then we can hear your rambles."

Bi Han grabs the handle, but it's unlocked, which sends all three of them into fight mode. Slowly entering the door, they quietly creep through the dimmed house, making their way upstairs. Bi Han splits his brothers up to search the rooms to his left and right, while he walks slowly towards the door in front of him. It's cracked just a smidge, to which he slams it open in order to prevent an ambush.

The only thing he got ambushed with, though, was incredible amounts of fluff radiating from the "missing" champion-candidates, sleeping soundly. Light snores, breathing, and huffs can be heard from the pile as Bi Han sighs behind his mask.

Tomas chuckles behind him, "Well, looks like Lord Liu Kang doesn't have to worry anymore." Kuai Liang also agrees with him.

"This reminds me of our youth, brother. Do you remember?" Kuai Liang asks, "You and I used to sleep around Tomas when-"

He huffs, turning away and walking back downstairs. Tomas and Kuai Liang shrug, used to his antics. Bi Han, however, remembers his childhood memories fondly. While his mask hides it, a small smile sits behind it.

=====================

guys, you don't understand, i have so many ideas, headcanons, and storylines for all my fave MK1 characters.

I'm thinking of a ship-fic between kitana and raiden, or ashrah and syzoth- i don't know!

God bless tumblr, and see yall in my next fic!

[k1dscout]

Go for it, Julian!

(RC9GN SadSpider/Stevens x Julian fanart)

[mrpuzzlessimp420]

Mario Simulator (Joke Fic)

Chapter 1

Ships: Marware, BatteryAcid (Mr Puzzles x Orange Juice), SMG34 (minor)

Mushroom Akademi was your normal pseudo-japanese highschool and Mario was a normal student.

He had... awful as shit grades because he didn't concentrate in class (god I wish I was that carefree ) and had a decent enough reputation, expect for that one incident where he was caught... you don't want to know what he was caught doing.

Anyway, Mario was normal.

He awoke to his loud two trucks alarm and started to get ready for the day. Putting on his highschool girl uniform that definitely did not look like the sailor scout uniform, not brushing his teeth and grabbing a plate of spaghetti to eat.

He quickly checked his phone to see that it was... 8 a'clock??? He was going to be late and get told of by SMG4 because of it!

Spaghetti plate still in hand, he rushed out the door, trying his best not to trip and be a clutz like he always is.

He eventually arrived at the school, only 2 minutes late and ran to his class, before realising he had no clue where he was going and had to check his timetable, which he also realised he lost like 5 months ago.

After 10 minutes of searching for his class, he finally found it and sat down in his seat, absolutely exhausted, spaghetti plate still in hand.

"Mario? You're late again? This is the 20th time this week! You know what I don't care, just don't be a nuisance like yesterday." Karen stated, not giving a crap about Mario because she is a girlboss, a legend and the moment.

The lesson went surprisingly quickly as the entire time Mario was finishing of his spaghetti or talking to SMG4 about memes or some cringey shit like that.

When the lesson and 2nd period was over, it was finally break.

Mario ran to say hello to his friends before a figure caught his eye.

The figure was a tall, handsome TV head giving out audition leaflets for a school play, rather dramatically you could say... and pathetically as he was literally on his hands and knees begging one student to join, a crying baby face replacing his normal emotes on his TV head.

Mario's heart skipped a beat. Oh how he had fallen for this TV head for the past couple of months. Yeah he tried to mind-control his friends to force them to preform in a everlasting play but that was ages ago. Honestly, Mario was down bad for him, his patheticness, his passion for the arts, his dramatic nature. I mean he was even good to look at, I mean look at those cables and wires (bro 😭) .

"Mario? MARIO!"

Mario finally snapped out of his god damn solioquy and lovestruck pinning just to be faced with a very annoyed SMG4.

"Where you even listening to anything I said?" SMG4 asked, pissed that Mario hadn't been listening for the 100th time this week.

"Uhhhh..." Mario said before saying the most, disgusting, revolting thing you ever have seen that had to be censored for the sake of EVERYONE'S sanity.

"What? No??? I was explaining the entire FNAF lore." SMG4 explained like the cringe pathetic loser he is.

"I honestly still don't get it." Meggy stated

"I do." SMG3 stated, with lovestruck eyes that told everyone in the room that he did not understand anything SMG4 just said and just liked to hear SMG4's voice

"Ha ha Gayyyyyy!" Mario shouted before being punched in the face by SMG3

"Shut Up! You like Mr Puzzles!!!" SMG3 declared, deflecting Mario's accusation back onto Mario.

"That's because he's-" Mario was once again censored by the Great Fanfic Writer in the sky who didn't want to write out the disgusting thing Mario just said about Mr Puzzles

"We.. didn't need to know that but anyway what was I on about again?" SMG4 asked, forgetting his entire lore dump he just did a few minutes before hand.

"You were on about the lore of FNAF?" SMG3 stated, looking back at SMG4 with eyes that were screaming with 'I love you so much, I want to hear your voice all the time, we are friends, we are literally soulmates made for each other, I would literally die and kill for you.'

"Oh yeah!" SMG4 was a oblivious idiot and didn't notice SMG3's obvious pinning "Anyway Foxy Bro killed his own brother or some shit and got really depressed ig, couldn't be me"

SMG4 went on to ramble about FNAF again but Mario got bored immediately. Why would anyone care about a Purple Guy and some dead children? The lore was way to complex for Mario's stupid little brain anyway, he couldn't even count to 10 let alone remember all of that.

Mario's focus went back to the pathetic Vox look-alike and sighed lovely.

He was perfect to Mario. Absolutely perfect. Though he was a bumbling idiot and still not fully redeemed, he was harmless and Mario knew he could fix him.

Mr Puzzles was now acting like that desperate clinging to a student to get them to join didn't happen and was still handing out leaflets for the audition.

Maybe Mario could audition? It's not like he had anything better to do with his life other than eat spaghetti and annoy SMG4 24/7. And it gave him the excuse to hang out with the handsome TV head.

Before Mario could think any longer, a new character appeared on screen and jokely spooked Mr Puzzles, which caused Mr Puzzles to jump and move his hands dramatically like a primary schooler trying way to hard in a poorly done school play.

Mario immediately didn't like this new figure. How dare they spook their one and only true love? And be friendly with him? (Damn Mario just let him have friends, he needs them desperately)

The figure was tall, taller than Mr Puzzles in fact which was a surprise, and extremely buff, looking like that one yaoi art base (you know the one). His head was replaced with a glass of orange juice which for some reasons had eyes on it, like working eyes. Mario didn't question it though as the canonical SMG4 universe was already lacking of lore on how the fuck Mr Puzzles is alive after he cut his head off.

"Awww, did I scare you pookie bear? I'm sorry~!" the figure said, kissing his lover on the check loving.

"I-It's okay OJ-Kun! You just scared me a little that's all." Mr Puzzles said, extremely flustered and shy now out of no where, acting like a uwu soft twink.

Mario was seething with anger. Mr Puzzles had a lover? A boyfriend? This was not okay. Only Mario could be his boyfriend and if he couldn't, then no one could.

An idea popped into Mario's head, quite surprising as he probably didn't have any braincells left.

A very... unique idea.

You see, there was something actually... unnormal about Mario.

He was what you would call...

A yandere.

(part 2 when??? Lol)

[gojuo]

Is satosugu a queerbaiting ship?

Yes and no. No, it's not queerbaiting in canon because Gege is not writing anything romantic in their relationship; Yes, it's queerbaiting coming from the fandom because the majority of stsg shippers are genuinely convinced there's something romantic between them in canon, and fandom is what a fan engages in way more than just canon therefore people get brainwashed/gaslighted into thinking stsg is meant to be canon.

Theories you read? That's fandom. Art you reblog? Fandom. Memes you consume and regurgitate? Fandom. Sending me asks about JJK? You're engaging in fandom. When you only—and I really mean only—read the manga and do not engage in any other aspect of JJK in online spaces, then you are not engaging in fandom therefore you have no stsg shippers forcing their headcanons down your throat and manipulating you into believing that shit. However... not engaging in fandom really isn't the reality for most JJK fans ... and because the majority of the JJK fandom are stsg shippers ... and because the majority of stsg shippers are truly convinced Gege wrote those two with a romantic dynamic ... people start to think there's actual romance happening and therefore he's queerbaiting bc "Gege will never have the balls to make stsg canon so he just sprinkles in random hints bc he's being censored by homophobic Shueisha!!!!" even though JJK has a lgbt couple and openly trans character like ... Lmfao.

The answer is no, there's no queerbaiting going on because there is no romance between stsg happening. Neither Gege nor his editors have never insinuated anything of the sort, nor have the voice actors, or anyone from the animation team. In canon, Gojo and Geto's relationship has only ever been portrayed as platonic. Any stsg cope that their friendship is secretly romantic is manipulative gaslighting. They keep twisting facts to suit their narrative and it's so annoying. "My one and only" is not romantic, the line before that is literally "My best friend"; "My soul knows otherwise" is not romantic, Gege said in the fanbook it's about the way Kenjaku's CT interacts with Gojo's Six Eyes; "Geto is the only deep bond Gojo has with a person" Literally a lie but this is also because of the age-old issue of Shonen writers' misogyny.

The biggest and greatest example of this issue is what Kishimoto did with Naruto/Sasuke/Sakura. To keep it short, Kishimoto, self-described as "I don't know how to write women", put all his effort into developing both Naruto and Sasuke as independent characters, their dynamic with each other, their relevance to the plot, their narrative arcs, etc. etc. and Sakura? She was just ... there. Not saying she was a nothingburger character but the gap between Naruto & Sasuke vs Sakura was considerably evident. And what happened when Kishimoto gave way more depth to the two guys in the trio over the girl? Mass shipping and delusional nrss is canon takes and egg hunts everywhere, even though it was clearcut that nrss was nothing but platonic. It's the same story with Gojo/Geto/Shoko (she literally disappears during HI like fuck you Gege), and the same story with Yuuji/Megumi/Nobara. Hell, I'd even go as far as to say it's the same with the Special Grades: Gojo/Geto/Yuuta/Tsukumo. There's a big disparity between character work for Gojo, Geto & Yuuta vs Tsukumo.

Gege might not make his female characters do fanservice like panty shots, unreasonably big tits, mad sexualization, KYAAHHH!!!, etc. all the time but that don't mean he's above being misogynistic to his female cast .

Gege did a lot of character work for both Gojo and Geto in HI which led up to the iconic Kenjaku reveal moment in Shibuya arc. Great. None of that shit was romantic in any way though. Had he given Shoko the same care and love he's given to the boys, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now. Because that would mean that the fujos would have to engage with her character and her dynamic with other characters in a meaningful way. Alas... that didn't happen because Gege said this is a sausage fest.

Now, all this doesn't mean that you can't ship stsg. It just means that stsg is not a canon ship, Gege is not being censored so he can't "confirm their love", it means that in canon there is no romantic love between those two and there never has been. But you can still ship it, though. Hell, I ship TojiGo! Literally negative romance there in canon obviously, but that won't stop me because exploring character dynamics outside of the confines of canon and the what-ifs is what shipping is all about! (Majority) stsg shippers are just annoying as fuck because they genuinely believe their ship is canon, try to force their headcanons and misinterpretations of the material down everyone's throats, and send death threats to anyone who dares to ship Gojo with literally anyone else. And then gaslight the part of the fandom that isn't into shipping culture so bad that people start to think this fujo ship is queerbaiting. Goddamn.