#shift-centric!
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shifted roles
Shift tries to perform his portrait, one more time.
for everyone's favorite little brother, shift ! ( ao3 link )
"I've always wanted an older brother."
Shift pauses. He takes in a quick breath, the quiet air of the empty theater greeting his lungs. The vacant seats and balconies patiently wait for his next act in anticipation. A single spotlight hovers steadily above his head.
Training, rehearsals, and special private lessons exclusively intended for whoever holds the honorable title of 'top actor' had concluded hours ago. Staff members from almost every department begin taking their respective leaves, one after another. Last time he asked, even Reni and his two favorite seniors were already on their way homes, too.
Despite all that, however, Shift decides he still is miles away from calling it a day. (Talk about a hard worker; he claims to have inherited this trait from a certain someone.)
Hence, after clearing his throat one more time, GOD-za's top actor tries reciting his lines again.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
I've always wanted an older brother.
I thought it was cool... Having someone big and strong that I'd want to look up to while growing up. Maybe someone who could protect me when bad people decide to pick on me, one day. Someone I can talk to and rely on about literally anything and everything in the whole wide world.
"Shift!"
Hearing a voice call out to me from outside the comforts of my small room, I poke my head through the door I just opened to catch the rest of the message. It's a little disappointing to have my favorite train of thoughts interrupted, but I do have responsibilities I must attend to. (They're quite big too, actually.)
"I'm about to go now. Take good care of your brother while I'm out, alright?"
Ah... It's a weekend today, so no classes for me. (Thank goodness!) But of course, mom has a job. She works really hard every day to provide for us, her family; to send meーher eldest childーto a decent school; and most importantly, to afford buying my baby brother's medicine.
The rusty old handles of the house gates shut and lock with a distinct clang. Mom is officially off to another day, another strive.
"...Okay, mom."
It's the exact same routine since... forever. But it's not like I have any right nor the luxury to complain, though.
With a sigh, I gather up all the energy I could muster to jump off of my bed and head out, as well. One, last glance filled with longing and a hint of regret is the parting gift I offer my room in the meantime.
"Until tonight," I bid my imaginary indestructible fortress of stacked pillows and tied blankets a semi-bitter farewell.
When I said I have quite the big shoes to fill, this is what I meant.
Arakawa Shift is not a typical school kid.
I don't only have to worry about homework and assessment tests. I can't stay out too late after class playing with my friends (well, I don't have plenty of them in the first place, anyway). What I do have though are personal duties at home that I cannot and must not set aside even for a millisecond.
Every desperate thought and possible attempt of prioritizing acts of self-centeredness in any form ought to be ignored, forgotten, and never be given into. I learned this by watching mom.
When she gets home every night, it looks to me as though she barely has any time left to spare for herself. Immediately fixing her attention onto my little brother, I volunteer to do the rest of the chores to help. Cooking simple meals for supper, washing used dishes, cleaning the houseーname it! I love my mom a whole lot, so if I could help her, I'd willingly do so in a heartbeat.
While on my way to my brother's room, my eyes get caught by the big window in the kitchen.
"Hm. That's odd."
Something tells me I should just look away and move on; but that just made me want to know what exactly is going on out there more badly. And sure enough, within mere moments did my curiosity indeed outweigh my instincts, prompting me to grab the nearest chair to climb onto and take a quick peek at the world spinning beyond my life as a dedicated homebody.
From the parted curtains of the kitchen window, kids around my age and range are running in circles, throwing all sorts of toys at each other and playing every kind of game I could think of (some of which, I have never seen nor heard).
A conflicted smile suddenly appears on my face, surprising even myself; but it didn't do so much as only make me resemble a sad young, dumb, and broke loner.
Oh.
Wait a minute.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not sad though! And I'm certainly not a loner. Heh, why would I be? I mean, I have a cute, little baby brother who I love so much. I could just play with him, and we'd have a lot of fun together! Just the two of us, today. Tomorrow. And always.
Shaking my head at the mess outside, I finally ease myself down from the kitchen counter and move on; all the while defying the tiny sting in my chest by pretending as though I feel absolutely nothing about kids making the most out of their childhood years.
"It's alright, we all have our own timelines. I'll have mine some day..." I try my best to console myself.
Speaking of timelines though, just a little more about my brother, the doctor said he's a little sickly at his current age but his body and condition will improve gradually as he grows. So until he can stand tall on his own two feet, I should act strong on his behalf. I have to. For aside from mom, I'm the only person my baby brother has.
I may not have a biologically-related big brother, but at least I can be that personーa reliable, older siblingーfor somebody else. And if I ever had a chance to go back and choose a life for myself? Nah. I really couldn't ask for a better familial circumstance to be in. Honestly.
"So... I'll do my best!"
That's the promise I made that day. How could I forget? It's the promise I'm more than ever ready to uphold and fulfill for as long as I live. It's... the sole, and same promise I failed to keep.
Starting the day off in a good mood is completely shattered, once inside the quarters of my baby brother. He seems fine, sleeping soundly at first glance; but the horrors of the worst scenario occurring right before my very eyes immediately dominated my entire sense of reason.
While holding my pinky finger close to his nostrils, time freezes.
He's not breathing.
In a state of panic, I frantically lean my ear onto his chest for a signーany signーof hope. Still.
I can't feel a pulse.
And all of a sudden, an ear-splitting scream. I'm not sure where it's coming from, considering I'm the only conscious person in the house.
Oh, wait.
I am screaming.
In that instant, I couldn't see, I couldn't hear, I couldn't feel. Everything else is spinning in a blur, and the only thing I can recall afterwards is sitting alone by the nearest hospital bench; knees weak, fingers trembling, breaths heavily shaky and unsteady.
"This can't be happening. No. I won't forgive myself if anything bad happens to Oruto...!"
Mom had to excuse herself early from work (she had no choice but), immediately rushing home once the neighbors heard my inhumane cries and decided to phone her.
She walks out of the ward that my brother's confined in, together with his doctor, and upon seeing me, they both take a seat on either side of me.
"Don't worry. He's okay. He's okay," the doctor tells me, giving my head gentle pats every couple of seconds.
"It's not your fault, Shift," mom whispers straight into my ear, as she wraps me tightly in her embrace; each of her words carrying a different weight of assurance I badly need to believe... But somehow can't. "I'm just glad you both are safe..."
The tears can't and won't seem to be stopping any time soon.
It's a memoryーa living nightmareーthat'll haunt me in my dreams for the rest of my life; no matter how many days, weeks, months, or even years pass. The image of my brother's face, pale and limp, will forever be engraved at the back of my mind.
I don't think I'll ever fully recover from that. Even if my brother himself is all healed and grown.
But... I have to make it. We have to make it through together, one way or another.
"I'll always protect you, Oruto."
My little brother smiles. When he does that, all the scarring wounds in my heart feel a little lighter; a little better, even.
"Hehe... Nii-san, you can choose you now."
Five words. And after all those years of loving anybody first over me, it takes just five, simple words coming from his mouth to make me begin asking questions I never would have dared construct into actual sentences in the first place.
"Does my brother not need me anymore? Was there even any point in my own selflessness? What is my purpose now that I've been instructed to choose myself by the very person I sworn lifelong protection to?"
I'm lost. Confused. Unsure about where to go, from here. Unsure about a lot of other things. And unsure about the only new door that opened for me.
Direct Invitation for the position of: TOP ACTOR Regards, GOD-za
I had no actual background in theater nor acting; save for the limited knowledge I've gathered from reading plays and reciting lines in scripts I luckily manage to get my hands on at the local library. I'd borrow them, and immerse myself in the tiny universes created by a variety of multiple authors as a way to escape the cruelty life occasionally throws my way.
And although skeptic, initially crestfallen at having been casted aside when no longer needed, it's only upon my brother's very suggestion that I accepted the offer; as the most fabulous theater company in Veludo Way officially scouts me as their reigning top actor.
I couldn't believe it, at first. Receiving a paycheck, people's acknowledgements, and one-on-one special training to prepare me for an upcoming act off. My first show! Ever! With me as the lead! Yay!
The brief phase of adjustment is neither easy nor troublesome, if I say so myself. It's okay for the most part; save for things getting quite tough on some days. One thing's for sure thoughーthis whole, life-changing experience has seemingly helped me grow a new pair of wings to fly with.
I've also met a lot of cool people I now look up to, at GOD-za. Haruto-san, the top actor right after me. Madoka, our new playwright.
"Don't hold me back, newbie," Haruto-san often says.
"If... If there's anything you want to change in the script, you can tell me," Madoka often reminds.
Haruto-san's a little loud, but he's amazing in way more ways than one. Madoka too; extreme talent hiding underneath that soft spoken nature. I can't lose!
Such a tough challenge we had to take on; especially with all the controversies revolving it. And an equally harder acceptance of defeat, fair and square; but there is room for all three of us to grow, individually and collectively. So we did.
But for the first time in my life, I felt okay being myself. I may not have been able to be a child during my earlier years alive and kicking on this planet, but it's never too late to unleash the youthful charm of being unapologetically 'Shift Arakawa'.
"Hehe, I have my two favorite seniors to be grateful for too, of course!"
Hence, it's in GOD-za that my long-standing wish has finally been granted.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
"I'm... just not sure if they know this, but Haruto-san and Madoka are the closest to my heart than I ever was myself."
Shift relives every memory he has of the three of them togetherーcreating plays, performing etudes, and hanging out after a long day's worth of hard work in Haruto's apartment. He wouldn't have gotten thus far, if not for the both of them.
"I'm aware that I could be a mouthful sometimes... But, they never asked me to change," he stammers, voice wavering from the amount of emotions he's facing and pouring forth into the world. "They never made me feel that I was weird; and that I did not belong here."
The top actor breathes deeply. Feeling content and satisfaction not only for a successful attempt of doing his portrait, but at the particular shifting of his own roles throughout his fifteen years existing, thriving, and living.
"I've always wanted an older brother," Shift beams, the sparkle in his eyes barely visible now that his wide, signature smile has taken full effect all over his face, "but GOD-za gave me two."
#a3!#shift arakawa#arakawa family bits#haruto asuka#madoka ikaruga#oh my god(za)#godza trio#god troupe? more like found family imo#shift-centric!#other characters are only mentioned (kinda)#inside seonne's head
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#persona 4#p4#persona 4 magician manga#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#you know despite all the evidence i dont think yosuke actually realises that he's actually quite attractive and good looking#kou talks about girls coming over to check him out and sure maybe it's just the novelty of him being a new student#but his hometown friend katsuragi FOR SURE has a crush on him look at this classic shoujo scene where katsuragi sees a text from yosuke and#smiles in a way that has him being teased like ooooh is that from a girl#getting a text from yosuke makes katsuragi smile in a way like one would when they havr a crush OK I DONT HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS FURTHER#ITS TOO OBVIOUS AND I LOVE IT BUT#this is a yosuke centric blog and all these to say.... i wonder if yosuke is actually just seriously oblivious#to when people are interested in him#i think it stems from a place of low self esteem like “oh who could possibly like me” even when hes actually quite a solid catch#yosuke probably receives letters of confession in his shoebox and thinks they were placed in the wrong box so he politely returns them#when they actually have his name on it he just laughs and says wow theres another yosuke/hanamura in this school?#or assumes its a prank by someone else#i swear this boy had the most OUT THERE mental gymnastics going on#yosuke talks endlessly about how he wants a girlfriend but i bet you if a girl asks him out his response will be “go where?”#“oh maybe later? i have a shift today but if it's a junes related issue you can find me at the grocery dept! seeya!”#theres the whole “disappointment the moment he opens his mouth” thing but come on#theres going to be at least some confessions from people who have only seen him from afar#not to mention that yosuke canonically likes fashion and always dresses well#honestly maybe yosuke's rizz lvl is so high that it just circles down into the negatives#only joking i think he does get interest but he doesnt realise#and because everytime he does attempt to flirt hes immediately rejected he thinks hes never had any interest#which i think is just not true#and i havent even started talking about yu lmao#anyway the magician manga was devastating for my mental health and i beseech all of you to resd it as well and then cry about it with me#he's good with his queue
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I'm sorry to put her on blast like this but my irl friend set the bar REALLY high on outlandish guilty gear theories-
She found out Dizzy was the daughter of Justice and her first thought afterwards was "who's the father then? Oh, is it Faust?!"
SISTER... FAUST???
#this was hot off the heels of hearing Fausts win quote against Ram and her response was '... Ohh Faust doesn't know he's a gear?'#and now that she knows he's human gears have shifted into now he's where Dizzys human half came from-#why are all of her theories Faust centric-#guilty gear
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god there are NO mtt centric fics on ao3 that i haven't already read 😭😭😭 so i have to resort to reading fics about my secondary interest but then it just hurts more because i end up missing not thinking about the mtt. they're like a drug to me if i go for too long not consuming good content (art fanfics videos rambles) of the mtt i start to actually tweak out
#tricule rant#i had to read hi3 fanfics today to pass time. it was nice but my brain was no enjoying the focus shift#b b but triglycercule surely you haven't read ALL off them- yes i have#everytime i join a new fandom i go on ao3 pick a tag and scroll through the tag until i reach the last page#this activity usually takes about 3 days. 5-10 if i pick a BIG tag#and ofc i did it for the mtt soooo ya. i DID in fact read all the mtt centric fics that are good in my standards
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Sophie Okonedo in Flack Season 2, Episode 4
Always recruiting more folks for the Absolutely-Destroyed-By-Caroline-Mills Club 🤗
#Sophie Okonedo#Caroline Mills#Flack#honestly I've never truly recover from this scene/this episode#it's how much one actor does with one episode to elevate a whole damn series#Sophie - you're a fucking goddess who deserves her own Caroline-centric series#forever obsessed by how seamlessly she shifts emotions in her characters
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so what if I per se wanted to make another long fic. What If I per se wanted it to have each chapter be inspired and borderline following events from Epic:the musical but it’s Jay’s off screen journey in DR. I’ll outline it saga by saga to demonstrate my idea.
Also no same time frames won’t apply because mentally I could not handle Jay being away from everyone for twenty years. Let alone write that myself. I’m weak and want him living a very full rest of his life.
and pretty much some characters don’t have perfect parallels so they’re very interchangeable.
this is long.
Troy saga- I’m thinking this mostly could have chapters/songs 1-4 be on a field mission Jay is sent to command by the administration. Maybe around or in imperium because they were trying to gain intelligence on the “unethical energy source”.
Also Jay keeps his yin pendant and knows that he’s either married or engaged. He has no clue who but he’s given her a name in his head. For reference sake Penelope.
the issue is my dude has no child. So there is no chance he should mention having one.
Unless he got vaguely stuck with one post memory wipe. Maybe a literal infant at first, but would roughly now be 3-5 by the events of S1. He is left in the administration.
Or we go Nya pregnancy before the merge route, but she found out a week before the merge. They made little cards to tell everyone and he kept it in his wallet that also had his ID. So he knows he has a child, but he has no idea where that is.
because Telemachus doesn't actually know who his father is and I would like to keep that so I can keep the vibe. Acidentally created a need for a child oc, shit.
warriors of the mind would be hard to translate but I could just treat it like a dream sequence. Probably Nya or smth. Maybe she is a figure he thinks he makes up in his head who only appears when he sleeps and he befriends.
he just assumes he’s crazy because realm of madness and all.
cyclops saga- could easily be that second half of that mission where they do find something willing to wipe out his people. However at the end there is this thing where Odysseus is cursed by the cyclops and Poseidon follows him every where. Now because no character is going to be consistent parallels, what if the cyclops was just Ras’s master in hiding for reasons. And also I guess the Poseidon stand in would mostly also be Ras. And one out of three Zeus appearances.
No, I like it so I’m keeping it.
and my good bye could be some dream sequence after he makes it home to his office. It’s of the Nya figure being a manifestation of his own disappointment and is like “okay I’m out”
months have now passed. Maybe a year.
storm saga- Easily could be the entire way back to the realm of madness on the mysterium mission after his appearance in season 2 pt1. People lost their portal devices that day. They make a stop at the cloud kingdom for a deal to ensure safe passage home because writers of fate and such and they give him a thingy/ Euphrasia?. Wind bag. Master of wind. Eh?
Then boom Ras. Shows up like “you hurt my master now I have to kill you.”
people die once more.
Circe saga- I feel that most of it could work out like actually story. Get on island, save men from magic, Hermes is replaced by a helpful messanger dragon of sorts, figure out a way home. Bonus points the witch try’s to prove that all men suck by trying to seduce Jay and he’s just like. “But my hypothetical probably real wife...” That he can barely remember.
point is they’re directed to the remains of the cursed realm or departed realm.
underworld saga- they go to underworld. See parts of their squad. The dead ones. (Bonus points for fitting in an elpeanor moment). Now, tree’s a whole thing with Odysseus seeing his mother. I don’t know if I want it to be that way. Granted grief killing Edna, who was already old, could punch a lot considering he doesn’t even remember her, just vaguely recognises the voice of his mother. Anyway the go see a prophet like. “You can go home this way. And yes you do have a wife/fiancé. However I see her with a very creepy dude.”
yes it’s in the same way as the play.
also the chorus just works so well.
“I see a song of past romance, I see the sacrifice of man, I see tales of betrayals and a brother’s final stand. I see beyond the brink of death, I see you draw your final breath. I see a man who gets to make it home alive. And it’s no longer you.”
Anyway guess who decides to embrace his inner monster.
-thunder saga
Once more very simple one. Go through danger the same way, shit Ras. Thunder bringer is the point where Jay switches sides.
-wisdom saga
this one I have trouble with solely for plot reasons. it mainly because of Telemachus’s role and the suitor plot line. At best I could have it do we can make it the tournament or sources.
I've decided unkown pregnancy route for the kid's origins because it's much easier than the other version. Point is Little boy loves his mother and can't wait to meet his father. Telemachus has a whole battle with antinous over saying natsy shit about his mother, later Athena helps.
Consider this, the kid, still to be named, aged around 6, maybe 7, actually picks a fight with a random child, who disrespects Nya in some way, and who has clearly been raised too violently. At this point the general "punch your way out of this one" conclusion can not be reached but instead replaced with Nya picking up her child and leaving, telling him he should know better than to resort to violence, and instead use his heart.
The entirety of legendary- we'll be fine, for plot aligning reasoning would be the kid feeling akward in the crowded and new environment and being extra vigelant of creeps or general bad people. Also most of we'll be fine probably wouldn't apply well, but we keep Nya telling the child about Jay and how similar they are.
love in paradise would be very hard. Unless....
It's literally a one off where Jay finds himself stuck on an island. Probably stepped on a portal device and is now completely stuck, with no way home. Or even knowing where home is anymore. Instead of regular events, lets say Calypso- stand-in is actually a powerful being that helps him with clearing his mind and healing a bit because the man is a wreck. She's forcing him to self care and he wants to leave. Also I'm gonna give her mind related powers, kinda like neuro.
God games is fun because I could have that just be Nya finding a way to call on the source dragons, specifically energy and begging for some devine intervention. She has to convince many dragons.
Vengance-
I'm not sorry for loving you could either be another dream about Nya that helps him realise she was being genuine. Or It's the calypso stand in who is a shape shifter who tries to convine him to stay by shaping herself into "who he loves most" even though he doesn't know that is and just takes it as a further sign to go and pay the ninja a visit.
The same messanger dragon that helped him with the witch comes by to provide assistance across the sea and to the shore then leaves.
Now this could go down the forbidden Jay route, but here me out, he does find Nokt and the forbidden five randomly and kinda goes off on attacking them. At this point he'll electrocute anything in his way. Then Ras and Arin show up, the tiger man fully healed. Less intentionally and more they all ended up in one place type thing. Fight ensues. A storm approaches.
Arin is encouraged to hide. He actually comprehends the power scaling he's up against and does just that.
During the fight instead of finishing Ras off themselves, the five all stratigically retreat. The strength and at some point they realised you don't want to be on the other end of an electrical shock. Maybe Jay kills the weakest one. for funsies.
He goes for a beaten Ras next, aiming for the kill. He tries his best at least, but doesn't bother to confirm before taking the cloak and hat of one of the five that had been lying on the ground, and walking off to whereever home is.
He notices Arin, does bother much to question the kid on too much, and asks him where the ninja live. Arin just points to the vague direction of the monastery and says "On the mountain outside Ninjago, can't miss it."
And so Jay walks.
thats all I got so far. Until the Ithica saga comes out I guess.
I was very loose with vengance but that saga is all about just getting the vengance.
#wow this is kinda messy and a lot#welp I shoud get writing#*questioning how I could ever pull this off*#This so did not take me two hours to write.#I've been meaning to do this type of thing for a while actually#jay ninjago#ninjago jay#jay walker#Ninjago#spork likes to write#Epic: the musical#au's that aren't completely different from canon#ammi right?#THis will not be read over#If spot of inconsistancy just tell me#When writing I could wierdly feel the shift when this became less admin Jay and more wolf Jay centric.#Definitely left out how Jay gets closer to his team as this goes on
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Nothing to apologize for. Go off, my liege. I love hearing your thoughts.
THANKYOU..... the beast is allowed a Little complaining... as a treat..
#i try not to too often bc i Do have fun w limbus and all but also the. um. well. yknow ^ ^''#i care more about Characters than i tend to do with setting and or concept and well. like. its just.#the sharp Veer in tone and presentation and heart that we seem to be taking is making me. Sad.#not 2 be Old Man Yells At Cloud abt it (for lack of better descriptor) but man. where am i. yknow?#piktalk#it is really funny tho. bc like.. it did make me realize huh. 'yea for super plot-important narratively-centric character's Important Day-#heres a timelocked little Hehe I Remember Character in-game that encourages u to spend more money ^_^'#not unimportant enough to be effectively narratively ignored but not important enough to warrant . a sprite. kdfbgdjhf#thats reductive. but also it isnt. yknow. it was never Just about the sprite; its simply the easiest example to the core of whats upsetting#im not expecting some big hugelarge narrative-shifting event or anything (cough) but also like.. out of everything huh. huh..#but waves hands around. im not well read enough to be able to make anything of anything; i just feel a lot. u understand. prosper or smthn
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["daddy killed my horsie blah blah"]
the lack of empathy here ñasdkfja. like sure she enjoys the ego-boost and the attention and all of that is exhilarating (while also putting her on edge and terrifying her) but. seeing him as an individual with inner life and feelings unrelated to her? here Klaus isn't even a person to her LMAO. and I for one LOVE THAT for her.
#it's also part of why i enjoy kc more than any other klaus' dynamic#i just don't care as much for those where the other person has a massive blind spot for him or can't help but relate to him#against their will or whose world is torn apart upon his scorn or or or#now those can be gr10 dynamics specially from the other pov's BUT#on its own the extend of the lack of reciprocation in this one just tickles my pickle xDD#like caroline has actual commonalities with klaus to spare IMO. but she only responds if he's completely caroline-centric trololol#and even in to when things shifted a bit. well. there's definitely room for this reading#stackediaries#plecverse#the vampire diaries#tvd 3x14#caroline forbes#klaus mikaelson#klaroline#i know this will be taken as ''anti'' but it's not this is genuinely my otp lmao#id in alt text#captioned
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I think that analysis post I rbed Really put things into perspective for how some kin memories of mine fit together. 'Cus Holy Fucking Shit dude.
it's funny 'cus my canon's Arlecchino fuckin sucked. But I do like her as a character (and I have that cat plush of her too which makes it all the funnier).
But through the lenses of That 4.1 scene being intentionally planned as like a test of the dynamics Father and myself/my siblings had... Ough yeah.
I think that grudge against Wriothesley for the whole thing finally vanished, realizing this now..
anyways Wriothesley & Neuvillette are cool as shit, and Neuvillette's a cooler dad than 'Father' ever was, *suck it Arlecchino-* /lh
#og posts#fictionkin#also if you see a kinfession abt this later & elsewhere no you didnt /j#also side note / rhetorical thing why the shart have i had so many lyney shifts recently Gods Fucking Damn /silly /nm#like it feels like every day / every other day i add a lil something to the notion page w/ things that remind me of my canon oh my gosh#...i also Really should finish reading the fic series where my canon likely comes from / where I got the memory of the Iudex adopting us#1/3 read and two more to go- the next one's me-centric too which is fun#...that being said im still scared for 4.6 bc i've heard arly's kit is really good but i also want me. L#...i should make another sideblog justto put this shit shouldnt i
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honestly though I think I need to be better at taking that "write self-indulgent shit" advice
#I mean everything I write IS self-indulgent to some degree#if I cared about growth then I would commit to a niche instead of writing whatever character or relationship I'm excited about at the time#with little consideration on how many people will actually read it or how well it would do numbers-wise#but sometimes I feel like I need to go back to where I was last summer when I was writing stuff exclusively for myself#I wasn't putting pressure on myself to finish things I was writing for the joy of it and out of passion for the idea#I think my priorities have shifted to writing things I want to post rather than simply writing things I enjoy and I need to fix that#I have a Bianca and Nico-centric AU I love a whole lot but I haven't made a real attempt at writing it bc I'm worried I won't finish/post i#and I think I need to allow myself to indulge in writing it even if I never finish it and I'm the only person who ever gets to experience i#(to be clear I'm still going to post fic it's just this one idea I think I need to let myself write even if I never post it)
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About that misogyny in fandom post. I think it’s like… a complicated enough net of “what people want to see in fan creations”, “what people can relate to in fan creations”, “what kind of people make up for most of the creative side of fandom” (remember that “all men do in fandom is make power level tiers and theories” post? It’s bad but like. Shows the general sentiment), “what will give an author interactions”, and “how do people approach each other about their favourite things”. Like there are many factors, and I think sexualisation and fanservice should be counted in too, and the diversity offered to male vs female characters. I’ve said it once before but it’s generally much harder to find a female character who has the same freedom of expression as a male character. And a lot of them are not made with the same enthusiasm as the male ones. Like yeah, that is misogyny but I think it’s not like. A fandom-root problem but a source material problem too? And imo the audience will subconsciously or not react to that.
Plus, maybe this wouldn’t be so visible if fandom wasn’t mostly ship-centric… Because as it stands, even if there is a voice to explore non-romantic and sexual relationships oftentimes it just ends up being a very sad/isolating experience still. Hmm
#d0 stuff#rising my ‘can I have a over powered non-male lead in an actions series’ flag again#like even looking at sth as small as action or isekai it’s Impossible to find that thing I’ve been looking for#it’s sad and revolting#but like. this is not about the fans. it’s about the creators also (mostly?)#like idk. I can be frustrated but I wouldn’t blame the people for not being enthusiastic about sth that the creators didn’t care enough ab#eh#like I get it it was a post that probably wasn’t meant to breach containment but you know#it always irks me when people thing it’s only one factor at play#and not to mention gender#and the romance centric thing#yeah okay I will leave this dog alone#but as people said#no amount of telling people to enjoy female characters more will make them do it#the shift most probably has to come from the source material
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jesus fucking christ.
#abt wilbur.#abuse#this is largely going to be my rambling immediate largely self centric thoughts so . yknow keep scrollin if you dont want that.#i have nothing meaningful to add to the conversation except watch shelbys vod.#at first i only saw wills tweet bc my brother told me about it#and i thought it was about his EX ex girlfriend or something so i brushed it off like 'oh okay damn a general misunderstanding'#then i searched tumblr saw shubble. found her vod . jesus christ.#hes always poked fun at himself being like 'yeah im shit and manipulative'#so theres always been a nagging. ick . in the back of my head. but never enough to actually. stop myself from liking his content/music.#so yeah. another lesson in 'no no red flags exist for a reaosn. listen to your instincts is a saying for a reason.'#all the love and support to shelby. her candidness & how obviously much she HAS been able to grow past THAT SHIT is genuinely inspirational#not that she needs to be inspirational etc. etc. its just good to know she'll be okay. shes in a good place. thank god.#all the stress for wilburs content friends. whether theyve been manipualteed whether theyve whatever i hope theyre . making good choices.#i say give them time. ik theres a lot of creators immediately coming out. therell be a lot who have to process this shit.#there'll be a lot whove. knowinigly / accidentally been complicit. theyre individuals treat them as such.#personally i just . have not cared about m a n y dsmp era mcyt for a W H I L E . so im happy to detach forever at thsi rate.#i havent been in the mcyt sphere for a hot fucking minute now. i hope youre all doing okay.#this shit hits weird. its okay to feel weird. if you want somewhere to vent my dms the replies on this post the tags are all free and open.#don't stew in it. you dont have to fear feeling selfish or self-centric or shifting the spotlight. you need to let that shit out.#thsis hit sucks !!!! a bunch of his/lvjy songs are comfort songs for me.#idk what the fuck to do about that. my immediate /want/ is to burn it. but thats easier said than done sometimes#if youre gonna 'separate the art from the artist' at least fucking pirate his music. youtube to mp3 that shit.#you can add local 'on your computer' files to spotify.#seperate art from the artist by seperating his monetary gain of YOUR consumption of it as much as possible. /AT LEAST/.#but also good luck separating his largely personal art from him.#im not tryna be condescending im in the same boat.#fucking white whine in a wetherspoons is no. 2 on my panic attacks playlist.#thats not his to take from me anymore. but ik if i listen to it ever again itll make my skin crawl.#ofc its not about me. its not about us the unaware fans. and im glad to know for sure now hes a REAL piece of shit.#m
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More fallout from the James Somerton debacle; local person reluctant to respond to a post about the racism of disco revival because most of their argument revolves around anecdotal or observational evidence and they're too eepy to collect citable sources
#ok so the gist of my complaints are (and bear in mind that this is not peer reviewed so take EVERYTHING I say with a grain of salt)#that yes Disco was the subject of a racist hate campaign in the US at the tail end of its run but outside of the US it never truly died.#Heck#it didn't even die in the US#just evolved along with the shift to electronic music production over big-band stuff. But I digress#Meanwhile in Europe Disco enjoyed several decades of evolution into HI-NRG and Italodisco and of course House Music#which led to such classics as Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now); the Rhythm of the Night; and many other dance hits#produced and performed by people of colour. And it is that musical environment that Daft Punk (who are French remember) got their start in.#not to mention other more traditionally disco sounding songs of the 2000s like the works of Sophie Ellis Bextor; Kylie Minogue and others.#So anyway I get that the musical industry especially in the USA is racist as balls (has been forever)#but going straight from 1979's “Death of Disco” to Random Access Memories' success is erasing 3 and a half decades of musical history#in favour of a heavily America-Centric narrative.#Anyway subscribe to my nonexistent patreon so I can bullshit my way through more tags like this.
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Catch me writing an AU of and AU <3 Dot is strange in every universe, even in one where they’re not The Doodler levels of eldritch there’s still a little something off about them…
#dndads#cal rambles#doodle dot au#shifter au#listen I just got hit with a random burst of inspiration I had to ride it#Dot isn’t a big part of the story it’s mostly oakworthy but they’re There#i was like hmmmm if this was a mostly-non magical AU than how would Dot come to be#bc this AU is very self indulgent and in my brain Dot has cemented themselves as a member of the Oak family#and I was like ah. they found them in the woods and adopted them but they look uncannily blood related still#(the implication is that Dot is something other than human that shifted to look like one instead of the other way round. tehe)#cal writes#i guess I need a tag for that now huh#btw the fic is gonna be oakworthy centric where Hermie is the only one who doesn’t know how to shift#because shifting requires you to know your true self. and Hermie doesn’t know who Hermie is
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All caught up on Dragons: The Nine Realms.
It's a cute series. Not brilliant or anything, but cute.
Also, I am firmly convinced that Olivia has known about the dragons from before the story even started (due to old family stories and/or records Tom's not yet old enough to be trusted with), she just didn't realize that the Hidden World was here.
#dreamworks dragons#the nine realms#thoughts#i don't get all the hate#it's not the best series ever or anything but it's not awful either#olivia kullersen#hiccup's family guarding the dragons' secrets for a thousand plus years makes total sense#but the LOCATION might have gotten lost or confused somewhere along the way#and as alex pointed out way back in s1 that earthquake shifted things around#and this place isn't under the ocean anymore#so yeah there may be an olivia-centric fic coming somewhere down the line#not sure when though#all queued up
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I wonder if the devs behind Notion know that one of the biggest uses for their app is to help people go to other realities
#like#we were NOT their target audience hjhvhfjdb#do they know? do they care? would they offer different functions if they did?#god I wish they would come out with a shifter centric update jfvhjhgjf#they won’t#but it would be so funny jjhvjfdhjvhjfhv#my posts#shifting#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifting community#desired reality
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