#shes so miss piggy coded

[evillillad]

listen

[thirteenashmctrash]

okay so i have gained a new species of spore for my collective brainrot and i have found the perfect selling pitch to drag everyone i care about down with me. if you know the show this is hilarious. if you haven't watched it pay attention:

the show's called leverage. you know how there's those crime serials that aren't good at all but we've all watched a little too much of at least one of them even though they are blatant copaganda which is morally terrible? take your favorite one of those, but remover the copaganda. all the characters are criminals but their only victim is capitalism. every cop in the show is stupid at best and blatantly corrupt to a disgusting level most of the time. there is just as much genuine and intelligent social commentary as this premise demands.

i sense i already have you hooked. i can make this better. stick with me for a minute on this: the character dynamic is a muppet movie but also the Scooby gang

stick with me here!

You have Parker, who fit into the Scooby gang as Scooby and would be played by Gonzo. her crime thing is that she is a cat burglar and she is very good at it. her skill with it is borderline slapstick (hence Scooby) and she is very autistic coded and misunderstood (hence Gonzo)

You've got Eliot, who is the Shaggy and is played by Sam Eagle. He is the brute force of the team and he wants you to think he is all serious and grimdark. but he loves making the employees and victims of their capitalist targets aware of unions and he is a big himbo. i say he is shaggy because he plays Parker's straight man, he has the second most cartoonlike abilities, and he has a passion for cooking

Hardison is Velma as played by Kermit. he is a geeky hacker with a passion for orange soda and he is the heart of the team. he gets overlooked as leader even though he is the driving force of everything they do. like Velma. he also has that trademark Kermit brand of slapstick and deadpanned humor in balance.

Sophie is Daphne as played by miss piggy. she is basically the world's best grifter, she usually the front man interacting with the target the most. she has that crazy streak and the self defense capacity that miss piggy and Daphne (when she's done right) both have. she also has the confidence and style.

Nate is Fred and he is the human character. Fred has "let's split up gang" and Nate has "then we have to steal *fill in the blank with something comedically unfit to finish the sentence*" Fred and Nate are both flat characters with the main trait "i think I'm the leader but my smart friend does all the work" and the main interest of "trapping and screwing over capitalists" he mainly gets to call himself the leader because he's the idea guy and he has an apartment. his role in the muppet analogy is the peak of my pitch if you're still here. because while this is definitely not the Christmas Carol, Nate is the human character because he is Ebenezer Scrooge if instead of being a capitalist, Scrooge was an alcoholic and instead of character growth he was just steadily losing his mind. his moral compass and general intelligence are on a roulette wheel that is spun at random intervals lasting from seconds to the occasional few hours. also he and Sophie have divorced parents of grown children syndrome and the other three are said children. in vibes, of course, they aren't actually related.

if anyone stayed with me through all of that you should seriously watch it. even if i sound like i pulled this all out of my ass. it's so good.

it's an actively anticapitalist, copaganda free crime show where you get to see fun characters beat up every thing bad in society and fuck it all over. it balances fun comedy and wild characters with serious topics and moments in a way that is very natural and genuine. it also has one of my favorite autistic coded characters, a positive and healthy relationship that develops in a way that feels natural to the characters (as well as a rockier one if you're into drama) and it is in the midst of what looks to be an actually well handled revival series with the original cast. i haven't caught up yet but I'm so excited for it. the original had 5 seasons and the revival is waiting to be renewed for season 3.

please go watch leverage. it's so good and it deserves more fans. also i want more fic and that next season

[nogu-d-reamers]

A BIT OF LORE:HOW DOGDAY/1202 FEELS WITH...

Disclaimer: This list will not include Catnap, because he deserves his own lore section for describe this complicated relationship.

PICKY PIGGY: Picky or "Miss Piggy" as Dogday used to refer to her, was an experiment that was in charge of feeding the entire playcare; from home sweet home to the counselor's office. However because of Priya's "background"; The experimentation with Picky's mind ranged from forcing her memories to giving her terrible brainwashing; Therefore, the gluttonous personality of the character she embodied with the psychological discomfort of her person constantly fought. Dogday, being able to do little or nothing for her, was limited to placing limits on her when she had a food binge or reassuring her when she couldn't consume even a glass of water. and although it was a small gesture, both sides of Picky were grateful for that gesture from her leader, realizing that Dogday ate mostly nothing and noting her obvious repulsion towards the raw meat she hid and gave behind the scientists' backs. tuna sandwiches. other data: -Although she didn't have functional legs like Crafty or Dogday, she knew how to use her pig hooves to hold things and cook. -Bubba and she use some camouflage liquid bands; which prevents other experiments from recognizing them as adults and attacking -sometimes he jokes about sneaking unpleasant things into all the adults' food (ex. on Chinese food day he said "by the way, have you seen a dogday plushie? I saw him playing near the kitchen before turning on the shredder")

BOBBY BEARHUG:

Bobby/#1186 was what Dogday could consider a "right-paw bear" and a great friend he could count on from start to finish (even before he recognized that she was his friend Minerva). Dogday, aware of Bobby's deaf-mute and that with his paws it was difficult for him to communicate with the children, she acted as a translator so that the children understood what Bobby wanted to say; and in turn, she let Bobby know how loved she was by the playcare children. Other data: -before Dogday arrived at playcare, she was the children's favorite; Although she always maintained a high position in popularity among the little ones in playcare because she was the closest maternal figure to her. -she communicated through morse code (using footprints and scratches) -Dogday realized that she was Minerva because she used a typical Colombian swear word with Hoppy that Dogday (when she was Libby) frequently heard to Minnie when she got angry. -No. Dogday won't say what the swear word is.

Kickin Chicken: Kickin/#1192 was the critter who was most emotionally dependent on Dogday; Well, the person behind the chicken, Carlo Buggatti, who was a normal teenager whose only connection with PP.Co was that his older brother worked there, ended up transformed into that because in an attempt to find his brother he learned something he shouldn't have. , and the playtime scientists preferred to take advantage of it before feeding it to Boxy Boo. As soon as he realized that Dogday could remember and the gas had no effect on him, he told him his entire story at once and begged that it didn't matter if he forgot who he was, that DD wouldn't do it and call him that when no adult was watching him. Dogday accepted the heavy task and helped in everything he could so that he would not be alone and cope a little better with the terrible situation. Other data: - the reason they both have a headband in the illustration is because Kickin, being the only biped, often hit his head; and Dogday, in his desire to ensure that he is not alone, learned to do it even if he ends up equally beaten. -In the brainwashing he underwent he forgot many things, except what he looked like from the outside; In an attempt to compensate for all the support that Dogday gave her, she told her things about the outside that even Dogday when she was human did not know, such as; about what a plane trip was like or that he was a "mate."

Hoppy Hotscotch:

Unlike the character in the series, Hoppy/#1192 was entirely problematic; She was aggressive with the newly arrived children and isolated those she considered weaker. She also hated the fact that an inferior experiment (in the sense of being of a later number than hers) like Dogday wanted to give her orders; Therefore, every time she could, she was aggressive with the dog and if she could find a way for her to end up punished, she did so. There even came a point where Dogday exhausted all of her methods of reasoning with her. Other data: -thanks to Hoppy's terrible character and her horrible way of acting; They made Hoppy's character one of the most hated in playcare. -ironically she was the one who best pretended to tolerate adults. -She was the only critter who partially joined the happy day plan just to annoy the dog, but when she realized that it wasn't a raid, and instead it was a massacre, she tried to fix things… but now It was late when he wanted to do it. -unlike canon (where Hoppy is on the autism spectrum), Margarette is not on the spectrum; She is just a teenager with a horrible character as a result of circumstances.

Craftycorn:

Craft/#1194 started out having a distant character and only focusing on the only thing that kept him sane which was making crafts, and Dogday instead of breaking the wall of craftycorn followed his way of doing things to get closer (and describing it as " feeling a deyabu about it"); He was totally aware that not everyone interacts in the same way, so he started trying to make crafts even though they looked bad on him. Over time he became one of the most trusted friends the unicorn had, giving that love and respect through gifts given by him. Other data: -Like Bobby, Dogday recognized his friend Kennichi through language; in his case he in an outburst of anger in Japanese. -It was known that unlike Dogday, Craft hated being referred to as the character assigned to him, either as crafty (that's why they called him Craft) or as a girl. -However, in a Dogday joke he made to exchange voice boxes he told him "Wasurete, I prefer to sound like a squeaky toy than to sound like the doctor"

Bubba Bubbaphant:

More than being a friendly figure; Bubba / #1187 or "Mr. Bubbaphant" was a guide for Dogday, not only because he was one of the oldest critters; He is the only one who, due to his function, his adult faculties remained as intact as possible. He was always there when Dogday needed guidance when he arrived, and when he needed advice once he served as leader (although he often struggled to keep up with Bubba's detailed explanations). His work as a teacher was greatly displaced when the Delight sisters arrived at school, so Dogday motivated him to be a support for the students who could not keep up with the new teachers (who were extremely relentless and did not conceive the idea that Not everyone learns at the same rate; which is why they were very hard on the poorest students). other data: -While he is conscious enough to remember many things about his human life, he does not remember being Horatio Buggatti. -Dogday accidentally commented that when speaking Spanish he had an accent similar to Kickin. -Like Picky, he wears a band of liquid camouflage to avoid detection as an adult.

[yourlocalmuppetsfan]

MISS ROAN

Why is she so Chappell Roan coded???? Actually, why is Chappell so Miss Piggy coded???? Like, HELLO?

[wheelbarrowofstagefourcancer]

Wow you know a lot about sesame street!

(Does mun wanna talk about their favorite muppets?)

Yeah, I’ll hand it over to mun.

Thanksssss tho sesame street and the muppets are separate kinda THO muppets from the muppets have been on sesame street

AND YEAH ID LOVE TO

so animals like normally my top fave coz he plays the drums and hes in the band and he’s so so cool and he screams a lot which is so me

kermit and miss piggy are my FAVSSS and i love them and they’re such a cute couple and kermit is so funny and sweet and frogs are also just really cool and miss piggy is so amazing like she’s if barbie was cooler and sassy and actually lived her life in a really fun way!

also they’re so cool that they’ve both had evil counterparts like Kermit had constantine and miss piggy had… i can’t remember her name but she was evil miss piggy who is different to the pig who kermit dated for a short stint in one of the shows

OOOOO AND BEAKER I LOVE BEAKER SO MUCH and he’s autistic coded to me so like ngl i kin beaker and he’s really cool because he almost dies like every time he’s on screen and also him and the scientist who i can’t remember the name of for the life are so gay

AND ALSO THE GUY FROM THE MUPPET MOVIE AHHH I SUCK AT NAMES BUT I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND MAN OR MUPPET WAS SUCH A GOOD SONG

[blaisers]

One time I had a dream that I was in a muppet movie set in a floating castle in the middle of the ocean that had floating fences made of road spikes. I (one of the few human stars of the dream) was the heir to Miss Piggy’s kingdom. But the castle cooks (lead by Rizzo the Rat) were evil and weren’t keeping up the health code standards, so I confronted them. They were all rude and snooty and kept dropping grilled chicken on the ground, then picking it up to serve to people. I was upset because I was going to have a royal wedding soon, and couldn’t have my guests eating floor chicken. The conflict was very tensely set to the side, and I went to go plan my wedding. But then insurrectionists attacked and tried to target me and Miss Piggy because of our titles. I snuck away by water skiing attached to a rowboat, but before I left I told Miss Piggy to investigate the kitchen staff and find out if they were in on the coup (because they had been *really* mean to me). When I got back to the castle it was different. Emptier. I found Rizzo the Rat treading water in the castle prison (a little rectangle of wire fence and plastic straws in the water behind the castle) and he informed me that Miss Piggy had slaughtered nearly the entire muppet population of the kingdom for suspected treason. I went to talk to her and be like “hey this sounds really out of character for you WTH”, and she told me couldn’t have my wedding right then because of “the current situation” in the castle. The end!

[adonisbeloveds]

Hello so I have a request so how rainbow factory Wally with a fem reader who acts like miss piggy from the muppets and the factory has color codes for her moods (green:she’s calm, yellow: she’s in tears, orange:someone else is in tears but a code red:means she’s angry and when that happens, everyone hides to not face her wrath

Hello! I am so sorry but i don't write for female readers (��﹏╥) please read my rules before requesting! (っ＾▿＾)

[tea-and-finalfantasy]

really long comment i might be mad i spent time on. pasted from what i posted in markiplier’s comment section LOL

A VERY LONG COMMENT abt the game's (possible) pros and cons BUT I haven't looked into the lore outside of these playthroughs + don't remember character names lol SO I could be missing vital info. Or not. I also vaguely know about the whole mascot horror debate + the merch link think + some dev details BUT am commenting as if these aren’t issues

Warning for an essay in Markiplier’s comments section and also possible spoilers for Amanda the Adventurer and some FNAF lore as they’re also mentioned

I definitely think there are some interesting features here that could be expanded upon if more streamlined

What I feel like is trying to be conveyed in this game is experimentation to create sentience in creatures either inanimate (dolls? toys? the female spider being an example) or with low or nonexistent sentience (jellyfish) (unsure if this is the correct way to refer to organisms like this? they don't have brains, they function but don't think in the same way other organisms do, like bacteria vs a lion--two different existences)

And I think there could be something interesting in that all the mascots are almost at odds with each other? They don't act uniformly and seem to have their own desires BUT because we aren't sure why this is the case or who these characters are, it ends up being more confusing than interesting

For example, the white bunny? thing functions in one scene as a schoolteacher who is not only violent/abusive but who is teaching groups of inanimate objects. While this could just be the devs not wanting to create models of the children being referenced as experiments, it does give the vibe too that she's not an actual educator that was experimented on but a child who was experimented on, become violent and physically changed, and functions in this false role as a more "mature" presence

On the other hand, needing to save her from the green monster didn't amplify the feeling that she's... anything in particular? Scenes just occur in this game to happen, not necessarily to imply anything, and while I know that's most likely because this game feels like (and probably is) a cash grab/something that piggy-back's on a style of game without bringing anything to the table (like it's not a successful fan-game or homage to a game—I don’t know anything about Poppy’s Playtime but it seems people don’t like that game either—but it's also not its own game--it does neither well), I still want to offer up a review/thoughts on how it could be better, even if no one's really interested in improving it lol

I feel like less characters would absolutely be better, like having the green monster be an example of a creature that gained sentience but does not do more than destroy, the white and red creatures as children or adults experimented on that gained more maturity but that lapse into violent urges due to? chemical exposure? abyssal exposure?, and the jellyfish as an example of a creature who previously did not have capabilities or thought processes such as these now having an overwhelming amount of these unwanted abilities

The red creature as a scientist falling victim to his own experiment would work as he's knowledgeable about the workplace, the procedures, and he’s mature enough to have his own unknown motives and grey morality (injuring the player but apologizing for it, both encouraging the player and getting in the player’s way, being at odds with the jellyfish but in a way where we don’t know which one is right—if either of them are)

The jellyfish does not want you to trust the red one but he (BanBan?) warns you of the jellyfish in return, making both of them suspect. The QR codes (which I think are a cool feature, although very much unsafe LOL) telling you information in secret, such as to not trust the jellyfish, is not only a well done, creepy feature but it feels like more reliable information, not something that could’ve been lied about outright in the experiment reports or in dialogue with the characters

Having less characters and dedicating sufficient time to that would provide examples of why certain characters act the way they do and why they are at odds with one another, rather than just having an odd assortment of characters who, whether they interact with one another or not, are left unexplained

And yeah, these are like, fixable issues. Things to improve upon to make the game more coherent. But then there's the REALLY dumb shit that irks me more than anything, that solidifies this more in the realm of active/weaponized disinterest than the understandable limitations of there being two developers

Why the fuck do you turn into a jellyfish. Ok cool if you want to imply chemical? exposure in the most successful degree creates otherworldly (abyssal?) powers BUT YOU NEED TO EXPLAIN/IMPLY IT SOMEWHERE LOL like what do you mean it’s just a “trick” he plays on you? It’s giving KH3 “Marluxia can just knock you out with his powers” or “Larxene can construct a whole ice castle” like??? No they fucking can’t? You can’t just introduce powers like that because you want something to occur without putting in the effort to explain how it’s happening

The minigames are just. Why are you fighting a dragon? Who is that? Maybe if the different minigame environments represented normal/familiar locations to soothe and interest the children, instead of just being a cold, harsh lab environment but again, some kind of tie in would be nice? Rather than just showing up in places and it's a beach? Ok now it's over, next room?

Stop introducing characters. Who the FUCK was that toothpick ass, ripoff FNAF exoskeleton bastard?

And, probably mostly out of personal preference than anything else, the edginess falls flat. I totally get going through that writing/creating phase and sometimes it gets polished into genuinely scary and well written things! Not every instance of the-most-violent-thing-you-can-think-of is cringy! But we're still in the working phase here—and we’re allowed to create and for it to not be perfect or even good as long as it’s genuine!

But maybe my opinion's biased because of the merch link in game (chapter) one but even if we ignore that (hey, everybody's gotta eat), the plot still feels pretty soulless. Granted, it's improved a lot from game one but is functioning at such a basic level of what we might find "scary” and it isn't explained enough for it to hit (there's reliance on the mention of child experimentation alone, on mention of the abyss alone to do the scaring, rather than the implications of such experimentation, of the harm done, of the people and creatures suffering for so-called "progress"). The pancreas related comments could've been mildly humorous if presented as a break in the seriousness, rather than a disinteresting, throwaway line because it sounds edgy

For example, other games that I've seen wrongfully imo lumped into negative examples of mascot horror are FNAF and Amanda the Adventurer

FNAF1 had simplistic controls and simplistic plot with enough weird and slightly-off content to make it unsettling. The restaurant was (at least half) trying to be family friendly! The characters are off-putting but not completely not-cute either! I even like the merch for FNAF1 because it’s funny and silly to have like, a wonky little Bonnie pillow pet! I’m an absolute sucker for that kind of cute stuff and I’d excuse merch selling for something that genuinely had fun features and heart! I don’t think FNAF1 was a front for selling merch alone, even if I think the current state of the merch is excessive (like a movie is exciting! posters were perfectly in line with the game setting! but a million figures and recolors is a bit much)

Amanda the Adventurer is really interesting to me because, as someone who struggles with enjoying creepy-cute things at times as I prefer them mostly separated (like I LOVE clowns and think they’re so cute and feel bad when they’re made to always be so scary lol), I thought the plot was super interesting! It would’ve fallen flat were it just like “oh violence? scary dialogue? and she’s a child?” like it’d just settle as some kind of perversion of the innocence of childhood without going further than that, without doing more than associating innocence with violence, BUT for there to be strong implications that Amanda is the show’s creator’s daughter trapped in the show with her body rotting somewhere unknown after being exploited by producers and other adults is really cool! It gives layers to Amanda’s character, leading us to see her as a confused, lonely, scared child lashing out because of what’s happened to her, something that she doesn’t even fully understand, rather than just being a malicious entity

Yeah, you run into some possible issues with both games but even then, these issues could be entirely preference based

In ATA, I’m not a huge fan of the introduction of lab experiments into her backstory as I don’t feel it fits super well right now. I think her situation functions better to just be a by-product of exploitation by the television industry, even if it results in something otherworldly, rather than being due to lab experimentation. But maybe it could be fixed if we consider the lab experimentation to be an extension of her exploitation, watching her goaded into unknowingly signing away her life at the behest of people she thought she could trust. Without her father there to protect her, she understandably leans on the next adult around and we watch as that trust’s betrayed without a way to prevent it from having happened and currently without a way to fix it, if she can even be saved

In FNAF, I don’t like some features of some later installments ALTHOUGH my knowledge is rusty/I’ve only done reading on it, no actual playing, so I’m not 100% on the plot I’m about to discuss. What I liked in FNAF1 was even if the lore was expanded upon after the fact, possibly based more on fan theory than the creator’s original intentions, it was simple and made sense. A co-creator of the restaurant committed murder, put the bodies in the suits, got killed when he tried hiding in his own suit, there are spirits that haunt the suits/restaurant/franchise, etc. The lore, at the best times, is entrenched in greed, family trauma and sins of the father, sadness and pity, persisting grief over the death of the innocent, the uninvolved, the young—bodies that go unfound— and various characters desperately trying to make things right, to do what other “trusted” figures have so far been unable to right. AND if we ignore the added depth, the gameplay and simple plot of the first game allows for both fan theories and gives opportunities to ignore the lore entirely. It’s just as fun to play either way

But when we move away from William Afton as just a killer, albeit with great intellect and persistence and premeditation, and present him as someone creating machinery specifically to kill, I don’t like it as much

The ? baby doll? Who is in sister location I think? Being this instrument of torture just feels violent to be violent. I can appreciate expansion on Afton’s twisted genius but I do like viewing him as an extremely intelligent but panicked, impulsive killer rather than going overboard with his methods

But, speaking of going overboard, GBB feels bloated with characters without the depth of information. It’s bypassed the risk of creating too much at the risk of it not making sense and somehow exists in this space where there’s too much going on but absolutely no payoff. We haven’t learned too much in too little time—we’ve experienced way too much and gained nearly nothing from it

And a last complaint—on something I’d really love were it done better—maybe I just wasn't paying enough attention but what on earth are the letters symbolic of? Someone had mentioned they got letters scrambled to spells "monsters" which is like. Ok not interesting enough but it still makes sense--but these runs were just??? N, R, G, and like 7 Os??? LOL I literally was like? Ooooonion? Groooooin? A really long "oh no?"

[monstermaster13]

Corey and Oats in..

The Magical Hogwarts Adventure

---------------------

Corey and Oats and Mel were friends with a lot of people both online and offline and one of their online friends was Brainiacadam who often made funny Vyond videos which they always enjoyed watching. But of course there was more to that and more than this they had actually been to the world of Vyond a couple of times. 

They had just watched a video in which the Adamantiums and Alanastiums got sorted into houses via the Sorting Hat, and they all decided it would be fun to give it a go themselves, so they asked Mel if she could help them, she used a magical code to access a special portal in their computer which opened up and pulled them in.

The portal pulled them inside the computer and into the land of Vyond where they arrived on the other side they were at the entrance of Hogwarts and they all decided to enter it,  and they were delighted to meet their friends the Adamantiums.

Adam told them they were all just in time for the sorting ceremony, as they all gathered to take turns. The teams being sorted were Mel’s team consisting of herself, Nathan, Werebelushi In Shades, John Landis, Mimi the Minionette, Russell Brand, Eucalyptus, Soo the panda-woman, Corey (and the rest of the microbe gang), Oats, Anglo, Piff, Aiyido, Herbert the Cthulhu Squishmallow, Dan the were-aykroyd, Vlad the Vampire and Miss Grinch and her team of enemies.

The first up was Nathan, the sorting hat knew Nathan was intelligent and creative and announced..’You, Nathan shall be in ravenclaw.’  Followed by Corey stepping up and trying on the hat…’If you were still a bad microbe, you would  be in Slytherin, but you are a much better microbe now and are a good friend to Mel, you shall be in Hufflepuff.’

‘Yaaaay!’ Corey cheered, then Oats trotted up and put on the hat…’You are a kind and loving horse who cares deeply for his friends, you shall go to Hufflepuff.’ ‘Did you just get into Hufflepuff too?’ ‘I sure did.’ ‘Yaaay.’

The sorting ceremony went on for a couple of hours and when it was finished Mel and Eucalyptus were put into Gryffindor along with Aiyido the Beholder and his girlfriend Delilah Deathray,  Vlad the vampire and Herbert the Cthulhu squishmallow and John Landis as well as their friends Tarrant Hightop and Serena.

John Landis was very happy to be in the exact same house as fellow movie directors Peter Jackson, Tim Burton and Steven Spielberg. Dan the Were-Aykroyd even got to share a common room with his siblings who were all Dan Aykroyd characters (since most of them were in the same house) and with Dan Aykroyd himself.  Sam the Eagle, Kermit, and Miss Piggy were also in Gryffindor.

Mimi the Minionette was very pleased to be put in Hufflepuff with Russell Brand (especially since she was a big fan of Russell’s), Nathan and Miss Grinch were put in Ravenclaw along with Piff, Soo the panda-woman, Augini the anglerfish and Aiyvan the monster and Wailleo as well as Gonzo, Rizzo and Pepe the Prawn and Dawn Bellwether.  

Matthias/Werebelushi looked a bit distraught…’What’s wrong? Don’t you like how it is turning out?’  ‘Well I do, it’s just i’m in Slytherin and I am the only good person there.’  ‘That’s not true, Rita Repulsa is also in that house and you can keep her company.’   ‘But i’ve got the Alanastiums and the majority of our villain group to deal with in this house too.’  ‘Look on the bright side, you get to tell them off.’  ‘You are right there, it does give me a chance to tell off Donald Trump AND Boris Johnson at the same time.’

‘You get to yell at Chevy Chase, Max Landis, and Dan Schneider!’  ‘Okay that just made me feel a lot better.’  ‘Yeah, and no matter what we do we will always be together.’  ‘True.’  ‘Also Kim Woodburn and Betelgeuse are in that house too. If anyone can teach them a lesson, it’s those two.’

‘Thanks guys.’  Anglo was glad to be in Hufflepuff with Corey and Oats, because he could spend time with them there, and was glad that his idol Stephen Hillenburg was there.  

“What a wonderful time we are having.”

“Oh yes…”

He smiled as he saw Janice and Dr Teeth had also been sorted into that house and they all gathered up for some snacks before lunch together, Corey and Oats could not wait to tell everyone about the fun they were having.

They took part in various spell demonstrations and practiced magic together as they all had a wonderful time,  after doing so they decided to have some afternoon tea. They played around and had fun for a couple of hours, exploring the school and taking part in magic lessons.

An hour later Mel told them it was time to go home they all said goodbye to their friends including the Adantamiums as they hopped through another portal, the other portal took them all back home to their home in Nile Road, they all arrived back at Nile Road and they looked around.

They played around in the lounge and told all their friends all about their adventure, and which houses they got sorted into and how fun it was, and they had dinner followed by a games session.  They emailed Jill about their adventure afterwards.

They all raced into the bedroom as Corey put on his bat pajamas and Oats put on his pink nightgown,  they brushed their teeth in the bathroom before heading back to the bedroom.  Once back in the bedroom they gathered some friends to snuggle up with.

After picking some friends to snuggle up with they all jumped into bed and Anglo turned off the light before using his own light to help them, as classical music along with Wailleo’s soothing whale songs helped them drift off into sleep.

When they drifted off to sleep, they all had dreams of their magical Hogwarts adventure and all of their friends, and thus their adventure and their day had come to a conclusion, but more are coming up.  So please stay tuned.

[thebibliosphere]

I've listed this somewhere else before, but for anyone curious, the changes that were suggested to make Phangs more marketable were:

Remove or "fix"' Nathan's disabilities to make them into non-issues to make him more "relatable" to mainstream readers.

If I was going to insist on keeping him as a disabled MC, I needed to make him hate himself to make him more "relatable" to mainstream readers, who would not understand his self-acceptance.

Vlad needed to be more aloof and confident and also become the dom in the sub/dom dynamic between them because "mainstream readers will struggle to find Nathan's confidence believable as is; making him dominant is too much of a stretch."

Both Vlad and Nathan were supposed to fight over Ursula, changing the polyamory into a love triangle to "build tension" before becoming a throuple because she was just so irresistible they realized they were bi. Because yeah, they wanted "more conflict" around the bi-ness.

So just, y'know, an entirely different book from the one I was proposing.

Thankfully, we do not live in the universe where I took that deal, and instead, you got a sexy, confident, deaf, disabled dom werewolf who uses mobility aids and never has a crisis over his sexuality. An openly queer, explicitly neurodivergent coded wreck of a vampire with a raging praise kink who couldn't be aloof if his unlife depended on it. And Ursula, who is even more chaotic than the vampire, and who is absolutely dtf either of them, but would absolutely set them both on fire with her mind if they ever tried to fight over her.

And also the universe where I can talk about Brucie Wayne being in a power throuple with Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog.

Everyone wins.

I know trad-pub's gotten a little more liberal with regards to fandom over the last few years (they had to because of all the stellar authors who came up through fandom to become professionally published), but I still have plenty of trad-pub friends who were told to disengage with fandom entirely because it was seen as too risky.

And, like, can you imagine if I'd been desperate enough and sold Phangs to my old publisher, made all the (catastrophic) changes they wanted, and then they told me I couldn't engage in fandom anymore?

Like sorry, but there's no off-switch for this brain. If I don't get to say the random shit that comes into my brain whenever I feel like it, I will go insane, and that is a threat. All this energy has to go somewhere.

You try existing in a brain that comes up with Bruce Wayne being in a power throuple with Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog and keeping it to yourself.

[dumdumsun]

Break and Mend

A/N: Welcome back! Thank you so much for all the love and support "Lost and Found" received! I'm so proud of it and how far it's come. This sequel has been a blast to write, Season 2 is my favorite season, so I was so stoked to finally start writing for it. I will warn you now that chapters for this fic will be long. I got v passionate about this! Anyway, I don't know what else to say other than thank you again and enjoy this first chapter ❤️❤️

Warnings: very brief mentions of prostitution

Word Count: 4629

—————————————

Chapter One: MADMAX

“Eleven. Eleven twenty-five. Eleven fifty. Eleven seventy-five. Twelve.”

Quarter after quarter thunked onto the desk belonging to Doc Wheeler as she muttered her counting to herself. She was nearly reaching the end of her piggy bank by this point and she was becoming quite proud of the amount of money she managed to make. “Twelve twenty-five. Twelve fifty. Twelve seventy-five. Thirteen. Thirteen-”

“Gator Bait, do you copy? This is Rug Bug.”

“Shit!” She banged her hands onto her desk in frustration. Glancing over at the walkie on her bed, she huffed and stood to her feet before shuffling over to it. That would have marked the second time she had lost count and she was willing to just skip the counting and take a guess.

“Gator Bait, do you copy? This is Rug Bug calling in.”

A soft smile on her face, Doc picked up her walkie and stared at it for a bit, letting the voice continue on in its attempts to get her to answer.

“Gator Bait… this is Rug Bug. Are you there?”

Returning to her desk, Doc sat back down with a chuckle.

“(Y/N)...?”

“This is Gator Bait. What’s your haul, Rug Bug?” She answered, running her free hand through the new length of her hair she had grown out over the past year.

“Why do we have code names if you only answer to your real name?”

“Because it’s cute listening to you say the names. Now, what’s your haul?”

It went quiet for a bit before the voice answered, “I’m counting. You?”

“Well, I was counting, too, but you made me lose track.”

“Sorry…” The voice quietly chuckled. Her heart warmed at the sound despite it battling with the crackling of their walkie connection. “What number do you remember leaving off on?”

Doc let out a slow breath as her (e/c) eyes roamed over the coins grouped on her desk. “Uh… Like, thirteen-something?” She shrugged even though the voice couldn’t see it.

“Thirteen?! That’s all from you selling hats?”

“Will, when I said I was starting a business, I meant I was starting a business,” She dumped the remainder of her quarters with the rest before swiping them all off of her desk and into the bag she held at the edge. “Whatever, thirteen-something is more than enough.” She muttered to herself.

“I still can’t believe you made that much. You’re so dedicated.”

She scoffed and reached her arm out to the walkie to answer. “It’s nothing. I make stuff all the time. Now I’m just… making money off of it.”

“When will you start selling shirts and dresses?”

Doc answered him as she picked up her bag, exiting her room and down the stairs. “Soon. I’ve got the sizing down, I’m just still focusing on my logo. I don’t know if I want it to be ‘Doc’ or some kind of symbol. I’ll figure it out.”

“I know you will.”

“I’ll see you there, okay?”

“See ya, (Y/N).”

Doc pushed down the antenna to her walkie before sitting on the last step of the staircase. Reaching over, she picked up her skates and shoved her feet into them. After the events at Hawkins Middle School with Dr Martin Brenner and his people, Doc’s yellow skates had mysteriously gone missing. She knew for a fact that she had left them in the cafeteria when the kids had to up and run, but when the police went back to retrieve them for her, there was no sign of them. Not in any classrooms, not in her locker. Nowhere.

This upset Doc immensely. She had gone about two months without skating until Will, her savior, gifted her the best Christmas present she could have asked for that year. Her new pair of skates, while not yellow and a little big for her (Will was ashamed that he couldn’t find any yellow ones or any in her size in which he could afford), Doc treasured them. Even more so than the first pair, all because they were from Will.

She all but leapt for joy and into his arms when he presented them to her with a big cheesy smile. The boy was met with a big, wet kiss on both his cheeks in thanks. Doc could still remember how red his face had gotten. Of course, he had blamed it on the cold air.

And because of the icy and snowy climate, Doc had to wait another couple months before she could begin skating once again. She had always taken a break during the winter since she was absolutely terrified of attempting ice skating, but with the added time devoid of roller skates, the springtime had been her time to break out the new pair. Of course, Karen and Ted couldn’t complain about the amount of time their daughter had spent out by herself; she had grown unhappy in the winter and they were pleased to see her as her usual self once again.

And indeed, Doc had gained back her cheeky grin, the pep in her step and the lilt in her voice. But she had also become more alert. She sometimes jumped at certain sounds, she lacked a good night’s sleep due to nightmares, and she swore she was beginning to see and hear things. A voice at night, as soon as she drifted off to sleep, would whisper her name into her ear until she’d shoot up awake. Even then, she would not leave her bed to open her door.

It had been a year now that she had gotten over her fear of being in closed off spaces. Every night, she forced herself to sleep in her dark and silent room, no crack of her door allowing the light from the hallway to seep in. She already assured her family that she could do this, and while they all understood if she couldn’t, she wanted to prove it to them.

She wanted to prove to herself that she was moving on.

As Doc began lacing up her other skate, she could hear the thumping of footsteps on the stairs behind her. Rolling her eyes, she scooted closer to the edge so as to not get trampled by her siblings.

“Mike!” Nancy screamed as she chased her brother down the stairs. “Get back here!”

As Mike shoved past Doc, his foot accidentally kicked over her bag of quarters, sending the coins scattering across the floor. “Dammit, Mike!” She gasped, dropping down to gather them back into the bag.

“Hey. No running in the house.” Ted called out to Mike and Nancy as they ran through the kitchen.

“What is going on?!” Karen shouted after them. Meanwhile, still in front of the staircase, Doc quietly muttered to herself and she steadily got to her feet with her bag in hand. With a growl of an exhale, she skated through the kitchen, waving to her parents and little sister as she went. “(Y/N), no skates in the house! And be careful out there!”

Once Doc was outside, she could see that Nancy was still chasing Mike, who was now hurriedly biking down the road. Nancy stopped abruptly when she realized it was no use in following. “Asshole!” She shouted, raising her arms up in exasperation and disbelief. Not a second later, Doc was at her side.

“What did he do this time?” She huffed.

“He stole from me. God, he’s been more of an asshole than usual lately.” Nancy shook her head and began walking back to the house. Doc watched her go with a saddened expression. All three of the older Wheeler siblings had changed from a year ago following the events of Eleven’s disappearance.

Nancy had been down since finding out her best friend, Barbara Holland, had died after being taken by the Demogorgon and into the Upside Down. She had been blaming herself for leaving Barb alone the night she was taken and took it upon herself to check in on Barb’s parents when she could. But it seemed her boyfriend, Steve, was keeping her in better spirits than she could’ve asked for.

Mike was a different story, though. After finding out about her powers, Mike had been just a bit standoffish towards Doc. Not in any way that had been obvious; he still included her in group hangouts and she played D&D regularly with the Party, but their sibling time had been cut shorter and shorter as time went by. Doc knew it was partially because Mike was keeping himself in the basement every single night, sitting in El’s old fort and trying to find the girl through his walkie.

Doc also knew that the other reason was because she had lost some of Mike’s trust in her. She had never told him about her powers and where she had come from (though knowledge of the latter was limited), and that somewhat hurt him. The two had always, always been honest with each other and she had kept a huge secret from him for years.

And while he could understand why she never told him, he still felt somewhat betrayed by his sister.

It also didn’t help that Mike was extremely emotional about El’s disappearance. He cared deeply for the girl and she quite literally vanished with nothing but black ashes in her wake. But Doc couldn’t get a word out of him about that situation. He would just brush her off and leave her to her own devices.

She couldn’t really blame him, she supposed she would do the same if she were him. It just pained her to know that she put a strain on their relationship by being dishonest. However, she knew he still loved her, otherwise he would’ve given up on her entirely. So, she had to hold onto that and keep moving forward.

By the time Doc caught up with her brother, Lucas had joined Mike’s side and they were now on their way to Dustin’s. When she silently reached them, Lucas grinned at her. “What took you so long?”

“Mike kicked over my haul, so I got a little behind.” She answered, shooting a look at her brother, who only shrugged.

“Sorry…”

“So, what’s your count?” Lucas asked as they neared the Henderson residence. Doc lifted up her bag and hummed as she assessed the bottom of it that hung low with the weight of the coins.

“About… thirteen-something.”

“Thirteen?!”

After picking up Dustin, the four were off to the arcade. Pulling into the parking lot, Doc waited by the rack as the boys parked their bikes. As they did so, a familiar car pulled up near them, honking their horn. 

Turning around, the four saw that it was Will and his mom. Joyce had become more protective than ever over Will since he returned home from the Upside Down. He now had a very strict curfew and he wasn’t allowed to walk or bike anywhere. At least, not without Jonathan or Joyce with him.

From within the car, Will sent Doc a smile, causing her stomach to do flips as she returned the expression. After speaking with his mom for a bit, Will exited the car. Immediately, the two rushed over to each other, their hands finding a place in one another. “Hey.” Doc grinned as they moved toward the entrance.

“Hey. I-I like your hair clip. Is that new?”

“Oh,” Her hand instinctively reached up to the yellow flower clip in her hair, her face heating up. “Yeah, it is. Thanks.”

As the duo passed the boys, Will opening the door for the giggling Doc, they all rolled their eyes at them.

“They’re so gross.”

“Seriously.”

“Get a room, honestly.”

-------------------------------------------------

“To slay the dragon, use the magic sword.”

The animated woman of the Dragon’s Lair game breathily spoke. The Party was gathered around the machine, watching as Dustin played. “Oh, Jesus! I’m in uncharted territory here, guys.”

“Down! Down! Down!”

“I’m going! I’m going!”

The four shouted to Dustin as his fingers smashed on buttons. As the game intensified, the kids’ shouting became insistent. Dustin’s smile slowly fell as he became more irritated with them. “I’m going! I’m going! I’m going! Okay. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!” He screamed, continuing to smash down on the buttons. However, the music that signaled his defeat soon played, causing him to start taking his anger out on the machine. “No! No! No! I hate this overpriced bullshit! Son of a bitch! Piece of shit!”

“You’re just not nimble enough,” Lucas calmly spoke. “But you’ll get there one day. But until then, Princess Daphne is still mine.”

“Whatever. I’m still tops on Centipede and Dig Dug.”

“You sure about that?”

Turning around, the kids were met with Keith, one of the employees of the arcade. He wore a smirk and held a bag of cheese puffs in his hand.

“Sure about what?” Dustin asked. When Keith only responded by shoving a puff in his mouth, Dustin quickly shoved past his friends to another row of machines. “Move! Move!” He exclaimed. After checking Centipede and seeing that he still topped the game in his highscore, he moved towards Dig Dug. “No, no, no, no, no. Hey, no! No! No!”

There on the screen at the top of the highscores was a player named MADMAX, holding a score of-

“751,300 points!” Will gasped.

“That’s impossible.” Mike shook his head in disbelief.

“Well, clearly not.” Doc chuckled. Dustin shot her an annoyed look before turning to Keith, who had followed them out of amusement.

“Who is Mad Max?”

“Better than you.”

“Is it you?” Will asked.

Keith scoffed. “You know I despise Dig Dug.”

“Then who is it?” Doc raised her brows, now standing between Will and Mike.

“Yeah, spill it, Keith!”

“You want information, then I need something in return.” His disgusting smile made its way to the Wheeler siblings. Dustin, Lucas and Will turned their attention to them, Doc’s face contorting to disgust as Mike was completely shocked at the implication.

“Absolutely not!”

“No, no, no. No way! You’re not getting a date with her.”

“Guys, come on. Just get him the date.” Lucas tried to reason.

“Hell no!”

“We’re not prostituting our sister!”

“But it’s for a good cause.”

Dustin stopped the argument. “No, don’t get him the date. Know what? He’s gonna spread his nasty-ass rash to your whole family, then Doc’ll spread it to the Byers.”

“What?!”

Keith’s smirk dropped. “Acne isn’t a rash and it isn’t contagious, you prepubescent wastoid!”

“Oh, I’m a wastoid? She wouldn’t go on a date with you. You make, like, what? $2.50 an hour?”

“Nice perm.”

“Gonna make fun of my hair?”

Doc watched the argument with a smile, crossing her arms in amusement. She turned to see what Will’s reaction was, but her smile dropped when she saw he wasn’t there anymore. Turning around, she didn’t see him anywhere near them. From the glass doors of the exit, she could see the distant figure of Will standing in the parking lot. Without a word to her friends, Doc made her way outside. Once outside, she could see that Will stood there, staring up at the sky in silence. “Will?!” She called out.

Startled, Will snapped his head to her, eyes wide in terror. “(Y/N)?! H-How did we get here?!”

“What…?” Doc frowned in confusion. Will began to stumble his way toward her, but the closer he got to her, the more her stomach began to twist and the harsher the bile in her throat began to rise. “Y-You just walked out here, Will. Are you okay?” When he was close enough, she reached her hand out, gently touching his arm. 

If Doc had blinked, she would have missed the very quick flash of a different setting. She couldn’t make out much of it, but it was dark, it was cold, and Will was still staring at her with those wide eyes before everything was back to normal. The two stared at each other in confused silence before a voice sounded from the entrance.

“Hey. Stop sucking face and get back in here.”

Flinching, they quickly turned to Mike, who stared at them with narrowed eyes. “You okay?”

“Y-Yeah. I just… needed some air. (Y/N) wanted to come with me.”

“Come on,” Mike walked up to Will and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling the boy with him. “You’re up on Dig Dug.” Without so much as a glance to his sister, Mike led Will back into the arcade, the boy’s eyes stuck on Doc’s. Even when they were inside and she stood alone in the parking lot, Doc couldn’t find it in herself to move.

Eventually, she had to, though. She had to keep moving forward. So, with a shuddering breath, Doc glided back into the arcade. She made it a point to steer clear of her friends and find something else to do just for a bit. She soon found herself in front of a crane machine, stuffed animals of all shapes and sizes pressed up against the glass. A small smile making its way onto her face, Doc decided to station herself there.

By the time she had regrouped with her friends again, they had moved onto another game. Dustin looked up at her from where he was watching Mike play. “Where’ve you been?”

“Crane.”

“Don’t tell me you wasted your money on that piece of shit, Doc.”

“Hey it wasn’t for me,” She smiled and walked up to Will, presenting to him a blue plush bug, its several legs dangling as she held it out to him. “For you, Rug Bug.”

Will’s grin widened as his face darkened with a blush. “T-Thanks, Gator Bait.” He chuckled, gently taking it from her. “You really didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to.”

Dustin and Lucas heavily sighed in annoyance.

The following day at school, opening his locker, Will scanned the inside for anything he needed. A bashful smile crept onto his face at the photo booth strip of he and Doc, taped just beside a drawing of his. Moving his gaze up, he caught sight of a piece of paper that had to have been slipped into his locker by someone else. 

Taking it into his hands, he saw that it was a newspaper article about him after he had returned home. The picture of him had his eyes x’ed out by marker, the words ZOMBIE BOY written just beside the photo. His skin crawling, he looked around at any sign of the culprit.

“Hey, Will.”

Jumping a bit, Will slammed his locker shut and turned to see Doc standing there with a smile on her face. “O-Oh… Hi, (Y/N).”

“Sorry about that… What’s that?”

“Huh?” He glanced down at the paper in his hands before hurriedly crumpling it up before she could see. Little did he know, Doc had already gotten a good look at it and was now internally fuming at whoever had been behind it. “It’s nothing…”

“Okay,” She nodded, not wanting to force him to talk about what she already was aware of. “Let’s go to class?”

“Y-Yeah.” He smiled, grabbing a hold of her hand before the two made their way down the hallway.

-------------------------------------------------

“Meet the human brain,” Mr Clarke set a model of a brain down on his desk for the students to see. Unlike the rest of the students, the Party grinned up at their teacher, eyes sparkling with curiosity and wonder, genuinely interested in everything he was saying. Except for Will. The boy stared down at his desk in unease. “I know. I know, it doesn’t look like much. A little gross even, right? But consider this. There are a hundred billion cells inside of this miracle of evolution. All working as one. No, no, I did not misspeak. I did not stutter. A hundred billion.”

The sound of the door opening and closing caught everyone’s attention. Their principal walked in with a girl. Her red hair was what drew Doc’s eyes first, then it was the freckles decorating her face.

“This must be our new student.”

“Indeed. All yours.” The principal nodded before exiting the room. Without a word, the girl attempted to walk to the back of the classroom, but Mr Clarke stopped her.

“Alright, hold up. You don’t get away that easy. Come on up, don’t be shy,” He directed her back to his side, where she begrudgingly returned. “Dustin, drum roll.”

Closing his book, Dustin drummed his hands upon the hard surface as the girl tried to awkwardly hide her face from everyone.

“Class, please welcome, all the way from sunny California, the latest passenger to join us on our curiosity voyage, Maxine!”

Dustin ended his drum roll.

“It’s Max.”

“Sorry?”

“Nobody calls me Maxine. It’s Max.”

Lucas widened his eyes at his friends. “Mad Max.”

“Well, all aboard, Max.” Mr Clarke smiled. And with that, Max began to make her way to the back of the room. The four boys turned in their seats in order to watch her every move, staring in shock. Even when she sat down and caught their stares, they hadn’t yet looked away. Doc, still turned forward, glared at the boys out of the corner of her eye.

“Stop staring, weirdos.” She quietly snapped, the boys quickly doing as they were told and turning forward again. Later on, the four boys all stood behind the gate of the baseball dugout behind the school, watching as Max skateboarded.

“There’s no way that’s Mad Max.” Mike spoke.

“Yeah, girls don’t play video games,” Will frowned, but rapidly blinked upon thinking of Doc. “W-Well, (Y/N) does, but she’s different.”

“She’s not good at them.”

“She still plays them, though.”

“Well even if she was good at them, you can’t get 750,000 points on Dig Dug. It’s impossible.”

“But her name is Max.” Lucas stared longingly at the redheaded girl.

“So what?”

“So, how many Maxes do you know?”

“I don’t know.”

“Zero. That’s how many.”

Dustin nodded. “She shows up at school the day after someone with her same name breaks our top score. I mean, are you kidding me?”

“Exactly. So, she’s gotta be Mad Max. She’s gotta be.”

“And plus, she skateboards, so she’s pretty awesome.”

Mike frowned at him. “Awesome? You haven’t even spoken a word to her.”

“I don’t have to. Doc skates and she’s pretty freakin’ awesome. Maybe it’s just something about girls with wheels.”

“Where is Doc?” Will scanned the area for his girlfriend.

“Ah, shit.”

“God…”

“What is she doing?”

Catching sight of the girl, the boys saw that she was now talking with Max, the two girls skating around each other. Max was practicing kick flips as Doc skated backwards, simultaneously talking to her. “I like your skateboard.”

“Uh… thanks?”

“You know, it’s nice having another skater girl around here. Someone who can keep up with me,” Stopping abruptly, Doc stuck her hand out. “(Y/N) Wheeler.”

Doc was afraid that Max would simply scoff and walk away, leaving her to look like a fool in front of everyone, but thankfully, Max took her hand and stiffly shook it before going back to skating. “So, you know the four stalkers?”

Fully aware that her friends were indeed watching them, Doc sighed out. “Well, one’s my brother and another’s my boyfriend.”

“Yikes. I feel sorry for you.”

“Eh, they’re not all bad. They’re actually pretty cool.”

“Really? Because they seem pretty weird to me.”

“Yeah… They are. But it’s endearing.” Doc chuckled, watching as Max began writing on a piece of paper that she hadn’t even noticed she had in the first place. Afterwards, Max tucked her skateboard under her arm and walked towards the stairs. Doc quickly began to follow. “Hey, uh… So, I’ll see you around?”

Max climbed the stairs before dropping the now crumpled paper into the trashcan below. “Yeah. See you around, Wheeler.”

“See ya, Mad Max.” She winked. Max gave Doc a very small curve of her lips before heading inside. As soon as the girl entered the building, Doc could hear the rapid footsteps of her friends rushing towards her. Turning around, she was met with the sight of Dustin bent over the trash can, rummaging around for the paper Max dropped inside as the other three boys stood in front of him as cover from wandering eyes. “You guys are unbelievable.”

“Well, what did you two talk about? Did you find out if she was Mad Max?” Lucas crossed his arms with a raised brow.

“Uh, isn’t it obvious that she’s Mad Max? And no, we didn’t talk about that. There are other things for girls to talk about, Lucas. Besides, I was genuinely trying to make a friend.”

“And?”

“Well, she smiled, so-”

“Got it! There we go.” Dustin pulled himself out of the trash. The boys huddled in order to read what the paper said:

“Stop spying on me CREEPS.”

Doc snorted into her hand before they turned to glare at her. She just shrugged. “I’m sorry, but you weirdos had it coming.”

“William Byers,” The principal approached the group. “Your mother’s here.”

Any trace of happiness on Will’s face washed away into the usual hollow look he had nowadays. At the shift in mood, Doc skated over to him. “I’ll go with, okay?” She whispered, their hands clasping as Will silently nodded at her in response.

There had always been times when Doc walked-- skated down the hallways at school and she could have sworn that everyone was staring at her. That they all knew what she was trying to keep hidden, that they thought she was a freak. Of course, those had just been her insecurities telling her that everyone was out to get her.

But she knew everyone was staring at them. Moreso, at Will.

Hand-in-hand, the two walked with their principal down the hallway. Every single student they passed stopped what they were doing and stared at Will with judging looks, most of their eyes had traveled down to the clasped hands of the couple and then the look in their eyes would gain some disgust. At this, Doc’s hand would always tighten around Will’s. A reminder that she was there for him, that these kids shouldn’t matter to him. She was right here.

Exiting through the front, they were met with Joyce, who leaned against her car, smoking a cigarette. Upon seeing her son, she straightened up and excitedly waved at him. Will weakly waved back with his free hand as they descended the stairs. When they approached Joyce, the woman warmly smiled at Doc. “Hey, (Y/N). Thanks for walking with him again.”

“Of course, Mrs Byers.”

“You guys have a good rest of your day,” The principal nodded. “Safe driving.”

Joyce nodded. “Thank you. Bye, (Y/N).”

“Bye,” She and Joyce embraced before Doc turned to Will, bringing him into a hug. “I know it’s scary and I’m sorry. But I’ll see you tomorrow and we’ll have the best night of the year.” She whispered in his ear as Will hugged back.

“Yeah… Thanks, (Y/N).” He watched in adoration as she pulled away and pressed a kiss to his cheek before he got into the car with his mother. “Bye.”

“Bye, Will.” She waved, watching as the car pulled off. Taking a deep breath, Doc smiled up at her principal before skating towards the back of the school. As she did, she noticed that Mike, Dustin and Lucas had been watching the whole thing from the side of the school.

Mike looked from where Joyce’s car once was and then to his sister. “How was he?”

Doc shrugged and lowered her head. “Quiet.”

—————————————

Taglist: @yurtletheturtlehenderson @crybabyalex @sapphicsyn

@shydestinymoonalexa @nailbatbitch @that-one-multifandom-chick @ariyabella  @lonelywitchv2 @bilesxbilinskixlahey @frogserotonin @mymomsdisappointment @hewwofriends @billieissad @get0ut0fmyr00m @softasha @kaz3yo @satsuri3su @sassygentlemenjellyfish @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived @unordinary-simp @raquel12 @roman0ffsheart @jjjennyxii

If you want to be added to the taglist, lmk ❤️

[darknight3904]

Sober - Eddie Munson

Chapter 26- Little Cow

Masterlist

The original title for this one was "The Lights" but then I thought about it and went "nah little cow is wayyy better"

Marguerite was spending the walk towards the Wheeler's home staring at the ground. She was carefully navigating around the vines that grew on the ground. Her leg was burning in pain but she wasn't ready to admit it yet. She had pushed Eddie away when he offered a piggy back ride. If Steve could walk around with his wounds then so could she.

Speaking of Steve Marguerite could hear him and Eddie talking. Eddie's voice was slightly louder and Marguerite could hear him basically encouraging Steve to go after Nancy again.

"Hey love birds the Wheeler's is up ahead!" Marguerite called to them as she saw the roof appear in her sights

Eddie caught up to Marguerite easily as she slowly walked along.

"You okay?" He asked

"I mean I got attacked by an interdimensional bat and we're about to go get guns from Nancy Wheelers bedroom to fight said bats. Other than that I'd say I'm great." She said

"Didn't ask for the sarcasm you idiot." Eddie said gently nudging her.

Eddie reached down and wrapped Marguerite's hand in his.

"I can't wait for everything to go back to normal." He said

"Mhm." Marguerite nodded knowing how horrible everything felt at the moment

Quiet settled over the couple as the group finally reached the front door of the house.

"Think it might be time to get a maid." Robin said

Marguerite elbowed Robin for her strange comment before following Nancy up the steps.

"Those aren't guns." Eddie said

"No shit." Marguerite replied

Nancy had opened a shoe box from her closet, clearly expecting one of her guns to be inside.

"Those heels are pointy but I was hoping for a deadly projectile." Robin said

"Maybe you left them somewhere else." Eddie offered trying to be helpful

"There's a six year old in the house I know where I keep my guns." Nancy argued "And I threw these away years ago."

Marguerite glanced down at the heels in the box and watched as Nancy began picking up different objects from around her room, finding error with them.

"This diary should be full of entries and it's not. The last entry is November 6,1983. The day Will went missing." She explained "The day the gate opened. We're in the past."

"Well isn't that just wonderful." Marguerite groaned

Steve's loud shouts reached their ears as they raced back down the steps.

"Dustin! Dustin!"

The trio reached the downstairs to see Steve whirling around in a circle calling for the boy.

"Do you know how stupid you look right now?" Marguerite pointed out

"Henderson. He's here. He's like in the walls or something." Steve said ignoring the insult

She focused her hearing as everyone fell silent. Faintly she could hear an echo of Dustin's voice.

"Will. He talked to Joyce though the lights." Nancy said

Their eyes fell to a shitty looking lamp and Nancy moved to turn it on.

"Try the switch." Steve said

Marguerite groaned internally when no light followed. Of course the Upside Down didn't have electricity.

"Guys?" Steve said "You seeing this?"

Marguerite's eyes fell to where shimmers danced around a light fixture.

The group reached their fingers into the dancing golden specks as Dustin's voice was faintly heard.

"It tickles." Steve observed

"It kinda feels good." Robin admitted

Eddie laughed from his spot beside Marguerite.

"Does anyone know Morse Code?" Nancy asked

Marguerite shook her head and Robin and Steve followed.

"Does SOS count?" Eddie asked

Marguerite turned to look at him in disbelief.

"You have to be kidding, Eddie."

"Does it count or not?" He asked

A few seconds later Eddie was moving his hand in the correct motion to hopefully produce a reaction from Dustin on the other side.

"I don't think he can see it." Eddie said

"Just keep trying." Marguerite assured

Minutes ticked by as they kneeled on the floor of Nancy's bedroom.

She held her breath as a new group of golden specks appeared Infront of them.

"Dustin is officially my favorite person in all of Hawkins." Marguerite said as they began to communicate

"What about me?" Eddie asked before taking his hand and placing it over her face jokingly

"Okay second favorite." She smiled slightly muffled

"How many times do I have to be right on the money before you just trust me?!"

Dustin's rude voice could be heard from the other end.

"This kid's gotta get his ego in check." Steve said

"You literally spend half your time with him. Kinda seems like it's your fault." Marguerite said

"It's his tone right."

Steve nodded at Eddie's words as Marguerite shook her head.

"How far is your trailer?" Nancy asked

"Seven miles." Eddie said

"Oh great I love a good hike through a different dimension." Marguerite complained

"Haven't you always had bikes?" Robin asked

Biking turned out to be just as bad as the walking idea. Because of the bite on her calf Marguerite couldn't pedal which meant sitting on the back of Eddie's bike as they rode down the street.

"I hope our fat butts don't pop these tires before we get to your place." She said

"We're not fat." Eddie said

"Speak for yourself. I've been eating way too much recently, Eds." She said remembering how she ate half a big bag of chips while her and Max were watching 16 candles.

"Yeah right. If anything you look better than normal." Eddie replied

"No way. I'm totally turning into a fat cow." She rebutted

"Personally, I like cows." Eddie said

Marguerite gasped as Eddie laughed so hard he nearly steered them off the street and into the patch of dead grass and weeds.

"You're supposed to say that I'm not turning into a fat cow!" She exclaimed punching his back

"Cows are super cute babe. Plus you're totally-"

Eddie was cut off by Robins complaining of "stop flirting and just focus."

Sure enough there was a gate in the ceiling of the trailer. It was red and angry just like the one under water.

"Wait something's moving." Steve said

A squelch was heard and a stick poked though the other end. They looked up to see Dustin,Max, Lucas and Erica all waving at them.

Dustin tossed a tied up sheet through the portal and then they pushed Eddie's mattress into the room to use as a landing pad.

"What the hell is up with your bed?" Erica asked

Marguerite's face heated up knowing exactly why Eddie's mattress looked like it had been through a world war. The stains were a mixture of spilled bong water, the occasional dropped beer and of course their 'extra circular' activities they shared in as a couple.

"Ah well. Those stains are..." Eddie looked at her to see if he could spill the beans

She rose her brows clearly telling him 'never in a million years!'

"I don't know what those stains are." He said

Marguerite heard a groan of disgust from the other teens next to her before Robin began pulling herself though.

"Lady Hargrove."

Eddie picked Marguerite up and gave her a boost towards the gate. Her stomach tingled as she fell through onto the other side and onto Eddie's bed. She couldn't appreciate the strange feeling of being back in the real world before Eddie's body came crashing down onto hers.

"Holy shit that was fun." Eddie said

"I think you crushed every organ in my body." Marguerite gasped

"Whoops. Sorry my little cow."

Eddie grinned and reached his pointer finger out to gently boop her nose.

[littlenightma]

Jesse Cromeans x A Significant Other Who Automatically Adjusts To His Presence

Does anyone else want to get dicked down by Chrome Dome Daddy or is it just me?

• She happens to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. She needed gas since her car ran out a few miles back. Too bad that the gas station she chose was the very one that had a serial killer stalking its grounds.

• She hides along with the others who’ve become trapped there, but they are quickly separated as the tall man in the chrome mask barges in, making his way towards the group.

• She flees like the typical piggy being stalked by the big, bad wolf, yet as he focuses his attention onto her and notices her running lacked the wonted franticness, the dreadful panic of death lingering with every step taken.

• She doesn’t scream nor plead for him to spare her life either. She remains silent, very much akin to his own muteness.

• He’d make her squeal soon enough though.

• It was like a twisted tango between the two. Her petite frame allows her to slip between the crack of a slightly adjusted door or crawl beneath tables without getting stuck. In and out, around and around. He grabs, she jerks, he slices, she ducks.

• And still she remained calm, nonchalant.

• Managing to make their way outside, he realizes he needs to start anticipating her next move the way she did with him. He follows closely behind her as she rushes towards the parking lot in the direction of his car. Realizing what she aimed to do, he detours to the back through a gap between the garage and gas station in order to cut her off.

• The engine of his car is programmed to start only if it received the correct code. Otherwise it would self-lock, trapping anyone inside until he arrived. It would be the perfect way to finally capture her if she took the bait, ‘if’ being the magic word.

• As he suspects, she doesn’t open the door to his car. She slides across the hood and he catches her before her feet plant the ground. He can tell he has caught her by surprise and believes he has her.

• She wraps her legs around his waist, arms coming around his neck, propelling her entire weight forward and him backwards.

• His knife lays at his side. It’s the opportune time to grab it and stab him, ending it all.

• Kill him! Do it now! Kill the bastard!

• The people still inside the store scream at her. She glances at the knife then back at him, contemplating her options. To the despair of the others, she pushes away and runs off somewhere in the distance.

• If he wasn’t pissed before he sure is now. He had her right there, in his arms, and she still fucking managed to get away. For a moment she remained still, staring down at him as if patiently waiting for his next move.

• He kills them all without mercy, taking out his frustration, and it feels great to make them suffer for ruining the moment he had with the girl.

• There was something that attracted him to her more so than any piggy before and he was determined to get her no matter the cost.

• He searches the entire area. Within every crevice, around every bend. He finds her nowhere leaving him feeling disappointed and in an even worse mood.

• Was he upset that he didn’t get a chance to thrust his knife into her or that he wouldn’t be able to thrust something else inside of her?

• He eventually sees her sitting on the ground, cross legged on a patch of grass peaking its way through the concrete and his chest explodes with relief.

• He had been intent on looking in the most inconspicuous of places that he completely missed her out in the open.

• Her head bobs to the music on her phone and he stops. Did she call the police? Is that why she’d been calm this whole time?

• It appears as if she is unaware that he is behind her. The slight turn of her head towards him said otherwise.

• Yearning to touch her, he picks her up and sits down with her on his lap, liking how she fit perfectly between his legs.

• She pays no mind to her new placement on the masked stranger’s lap. She curls slightly into his chest, settling close, cocooned between the folds of his suit jacket.

• He is unsettled by a wave of protectiveness when not an hour ago he was intent on wringing her out to dry by the blade of his knife.

• Keeping her as his sounds too appealing to pass up. He steals her phone away and types, passing by her most recent calls and sees she did not call the police. Satisfied, he hands it back to her, watching the bright screen light up her features as she reads the words.

• You’re Coming With Me, Little Piggy

• For first time that night she speaks to him, smiling softly.

• “Okay.”

• Taking one of his much larger, gloved hands, she leads him to the sleek black car waiting for them at the edge of the lot.

[firelxdykatara]

For literal years there was no reason, internal or external, why they couldn't/wouldn't admit to their feelings, which not only begs the question of why in the world it took a magical prison to force them to confess, but ensures that their relationship doesn't change as a result of that weight being lifted from their shoulders.

All of this post is 100% accurate, but this bit especially is why the 'confirmation' rang so hollow to me, and it's frustrating seeing this heralded as some amazing piece of queer rep when the show hasn't put any effort into making the relationship, well, a relationship, in all the years it has allegedly been planned.

(Also I just really do not believe that it was planned from the beginning, because I actually want to give the writers some credit and assume they aren't truly that incompetent. I'd buy that maybe they kicked the idea around a little in the early years, but I just don't believe anyone seriously sat down and said 'this is what's happening' until Volume 6 at least.)

It feels similar to Korrasami being made canon in the last five minutes of LoK, except that CRWBY don't have an overbearing parent company to attempt to shift the blame onto after the fact like Bryke did--it was an indie web series piggy-backing off the fame generated by their Halo fanfic series, there was nothing preventing them from confirming Blake and Yang's queerness on-screen years ago even if they wanted to waffle on actually confirming their feelings for each other.

And the fact that some of this could have been solved by actually having Blake and Yang talk to each other, rather than relying on a handful of looks, hand-holding, forehead touches, color-coding, and the fandom to fill in the blanks really grinds my gears. They haven't had a single substantive conversation since Burning the Candle back in Volume 2, despite having a lot of shit they need to have a conversation about.

They have yet to actually talk through and process Yang's abandonment issues and the way Blake triggered them by running off without a word after Volume 3. (This is abundantly obvious by their borderline codependence over the past few volumes, so no, I'm not buying 'they talked about it off-screen' as an excuse.) They have yet to talk about Yang's encounter with her mother, or anything she was feeling about those revelations. (As far as we can tell canonically, she still hasn't told anyone Raven is the Spring Maiden lmao.) They have yet to talk through and process the fact that they killed a man together. (And I don't care how much he deserved it in the moment--that shit would be traumatizing regardless! And they never discuss it! They mention it once in a conversation about something else entirely, and that just does not count.) They did not discuss anything that occurred in Volume 7, and despite Blake believing she watched Yang die at the end of Volume 8, they never talked about that either!

That's one of the things that was sorely missing from Volume 9, in fact--some actual emotion over what they just went through. Where was Yang's grief, if she spent her time alone on the island thinking she died but her sister and her friends had made it out, only to find them there? Where was Blake's anger at Yang for pulling the stupid move that got her 'killed' in the first place? (Seriously, one of the best tropes to pull in a romance where two people who haven't confessed feel forced to confront their feelings--when one of them nearly gets themselves killed, and the other gets angry at them for it, and then has to work out why, and then a Big Damn Kiss happens, which imo would've made for far better storytelling than trapping them on a bridge until they confessed for reasons that only make sense if you assume the island could see through the fourth wall and commune with the writers themselves.) Why was no one allowed to realistically react not only to their present circumstances, but to all the shit that had just happened to them that none of them even took a second to process?

It's just... so, so frustrating, to keep watching this show and see them come so close to genuinely good story beats or character moments, and then watch them sidestep around anything that might bring actual catharsis or feel narratively earned. I feel like the proverbial donkey constantly chasing after that carrot on a stick, always dangling just out of reach but promising something delicious if I just stick it out for long enough.

I think one of the things that bothers me most about the way RWBY has handled the whole b/umbleby thing is the fact that volume 9 kind of puts paid to the idea that their relationship was a 'slow burn'.

If it were a slow burn, if their relationship had been steadily growing and changing over the past few volumes and according to their experiences, then that burn ultimately resolving and becoming explicit and them getting together would have been a significant milestone that changed things between them so completely they could never go back to how things were before.

But... nothing changed. If you took out the confession and the kiss and Ruby's (understandable) anger... you'd never be able to tell anything had changed between them. They have the same level of physical affection and tenderness they've had since volume 6. They don't talk to each other any differently. There's been no change in their behavior, no evidence they are now a couple in a way that they were not before except their one single kiss. And that's just deeply unsatisfying to me.

This criticism popped up after the episode aired and I came across a couple of posts that, with lesser and greater respect, pushed back against it. One in particular was rather snide, asking what RWDE folks expected to change: for them to be kissing non-stop? Declaring their undying love at ten-minute intervals? Pulling out a ring for marriage? People are still themselves while dating, you know. Besides, they're a little busy at the moment!

Now, I personally believe that yes, there should be changes to their behavior. I likewise believe that this could have easily been accomplished if a) Blake and Yang hadn't already gone through the physical displays of affection that RWBY uses to confirm a romantic relationship (primarily hand-holding) and b) if they hadn't jumped straight to "I love you." Removing the numerous moments of hand-holding since Volume 6 would have left that as an easy, visual indicator of the change in their relationship (rather than the confusing "So are they canonical or not??" we got for three years). Likewise, having them admit to having a crush could have opened the door to actually dating which in turn could have eventually led to the big "I love you" moment. That's how you do a slow-burn post-confession: breaking up all those relationship milestones and thus making time for the characters to run into obstacles and celebrate the success of each step forward. The way bumblebee has been written, it simultaneously feels far too slow (why did it take 4+ years for them to admit they like each other?) and simultaneously way too fast (they don't actually admit that they like each other, but that they're IN LOVE).

Beyond what all might have been added though, I think it's worth considering what might have been lost in a better written romance. Slow-burns, as mentioned above, thrive on obstacles. There has to be a reason why the characters don't get together, whether that's internal ("I'm too afraid of commitment to date them") or external ("Our families will lose their shit if we date"). Seriously, this is like writing 101, yet Bumblebee gave us NOTHING. For literal years there was no reason, internal or external, why they couldn't/wouldn't admit to their feelings, which not only begs the question of why in the world it took a magical prison to force them to confess, but ensures that their relationship doesn't change as a result of that weight being lifted from their shoulders. If Blake was scared of what it would mean for her to love a human, or if Yang was scared to commit after losing so much else in life, or if there was homophobia to deal with in Remnant, or if they both wanted to wait until the Salem fight was over, or if they honestly didn't realize they had romantic feelings, or if one of them needed to come to terms with being queer first, or if there was a literal curse at play that hindered the relationship somehow... there are a HUNDRED ways to provide obstacles and the removal of any one of them would have changed both the character(s) and their relationship with each other.

Not to continually bring up my blorbo Trent Crimm, but Ted Lasso does this beautifully. With the removal of his obstacle (inability to admit that he's gay) Trent becomes a radically different person from who he was in Season One; a more authentic person. His style changes, he smiles more, his conversation becomes more "dorky," and his relationships with the rest of the cast likewise develops. What would Yang look like if she went on a journey of coming out as queer? What would Blake look like if she kept her activist roots by fighting for the right to date a human? How would they both act post-kiss if they'd been afraid, for whatever reason, to show that level of affection in public before? Something like holding hands could have been a radical act -- it IS for real queer people!! -- rather than a generic, cutsey detail we've been getting for years now.

Instead, as you say, anon, literally nothing changes. I am 99.9% convinced that Ruby wouldn't even know Yang was now dating Blake if they hadn't exited the storm still kissing because them sitting close and occasionally holding hands has been their norm since VOLUME SIX. Nothing changes because RT didn't do any of the work to write an actual, romantic relationship. They wrote a couple of years worth of implied queerbaiting and then confirmed it when it looked like RWBY would be cancelled. We don't know anything about them in regards to romance and/or sexuality. When did Yang realize she likes girls when she started the series only appreciating guys? Is Blake expected to marry anyone in particular given her status as the pseudo-princess of Menagerie? Have either of them ever been in a relationship before? Do they have any idea what they want out of a relationship? Does the fact that they're on a supposedly doomed quest with their world hanging in the balance have any bearing on their long-term plans? There are fictional couples who avoid admitting feelings because of the presumed hopelessness of their plot and there are those that grab at a relationship and hold on with both hands because they're determined to live and love for whatever time they have left. Bumblee offers none of this. Their love exists only between the two of them, primarily off-screen, separate from both the plot and the rest of the cast.

The fact that Yang never once talks to Ruby about her feelings and then the Volume drops Ruby's annoyance really says it all. Of course nothing changes. RT doesn't want to write a Blake/Yang subplot. They just want to have a queer couple among the main team to bring in viewers and sell merch. The fandom has done ALL the work to make Bumblebee a nuanced, heart-felt love story. It literally, barely exists on screen and what little we have gotten often makes no sense. They hide their feelings when they have no reason to. Yang is worried about a fight with Blake that never happened. They both say they love things about the other that sound like a list of generic Good Characteristics, rather than traits that actually align with these characters. They're caught kissing thanks to the magical world they're in and the characters treat this as a given, giving the story an excuse not to engage with their reactions because again, the story isn't interested in that. One reaction is tossed in for the drama? Don't worry, the tree will cure Ruby of her understandable anger that Yang is more concerned with holding Blake's hand than her sister's tragedy-inducing depression. Everything is only canon in the moment.

Outside of the kiss checkbox there's no romance here and, thus, no reason to show its development. All RT needed was to get one kiss on screen and then boom, their merch sells out and (they hope) Volume 10 is greenlit. Don't get me wrong, I'm still pleased it's actually confirmed now, but it's nevertheless the fans who are doing all the work to make this an epic love story, not the writers.

[dancedance-resolution]

i have yet to stop thinking about @ayeti’s muppet dress code met gala tags , so here are some ideas for a sketch where all of the muppets go to the met gala:

kermit wears a standard tuxedo. after all, he’s pretty much just there to serve as arm candy for miss piggy, who is wearing the most extravagant dress you can imagine

gonzo wears an outfit that news outlets laud as “strange” and “very gender.” conservative propaganda newspapers include the headline “this is what liberals want” above pictures of his outfit.

mildred huxletter misunderstands the assignment and comes cosplaying as jackie kennedy. george the janitor, her date, wears his janitors uniform. (yes, he brings his mop as well, fully prepared for a fistfight/mopfight with beauregard. nobody has the heart to tell him that beauregard is not even in attendance.)

sam eagle wears nothing (which is what he always wears). the only reason he agreed to attending the gala was so that he could throw straw wrappers and other small items into billionaires’ hair, so as to fulfill his civic duty to be a nuisance (or more!) to the rich. he has the same attitude ron from parks and rec would have if he had to go to the met gala.

janice eats the vast majority of the shrimp cocktails. she also offers to tye-dye camilla the chicken’s feathers. (she may or may not be a little bit high.)

animal is not invited to the muppet met gala. people protest in the streets over it.

pepe the king prawn spends the entire night trying to convince lorn michaels that he would be a better weekend update anchor than colin jost.

dr bunsen honeydew misunderstands the assignment and comes to the met gala wearing a homemade t shirt that says in all caps sharpie “PLUTO IS A REAL PLANET”. beaker, dressed up in a styrofoam pluto costume dr bunsen honeydew made him, dutifully stands behind him (trembling).

statler and waldorf steal costumes and make up from a local kiss cover band the night before the met gala. they come dressed up as kiss members as a form of satire. they, of course, heckle everyone’s red carpet outfits.

uncle deadly misunderstands the assignment and shows up to the met gala in full elizabethan era garb but with a goth twist, a shakespeare script in one hand and phantom of the opera mask in another. he flees the gala after discovering that it is not, in fact, a meetup of the local “goth shakespeare and phantom of the opera theatre troupe slash knitting club.”

crazy harry is shot out of a canon and lands face-first on the red carpet (which is now more burgundy thanks to all the ashes and soot crazy harry has on him). he immediately stands up and does a thumbs up at a nonexistent camera (he is three hours late to the event). marvin suggs, having heard the boom of crazy harry’s landing, comes out though to give him a high five.

link hogthrob is wearing a replica of ralph macchio’s costume in the outsiders.

rizzo the rat casually comes out as a transgender man in conversation with robert pattinson.

[incomingalbatross]

GF Fic: (Insert Time-Related Pun Here)

Having a birthday on the last day of summer was great when you were a kid.

When you were in college and vacation ended somewhere in the last third of August? Not so much.

“Grunkle Ford, I...I don’t think Mabel and I can make it to Gravity Falls,” Dipper confessed, the day before his twenty-second birthday.

“Is it the travel time?” Ford asked from the other end of the phone. “If your usual transportation is too slow, we can call in a favor or two for you kids—I know plenty of entities that would be happy to give you a lift as a birthday present—”

“No, I know, I know,” Dipper said, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “And I really appreciate that, Grunkle Ford, I just...it’s not the travel, it’s being there. The other years we’ve been in college, our birthday was always on a weekend—last year was a Monday, but we spent that year with you guys instead of in school—”

“Thank goodness that seer tipped us off about her vision of 2020!” Ford agreed. “Taking a gap year to sail the Arctic with us was definitely the right decision for you two.”

“Right? Half a semester of online classes was more than enough. But—I mean, maybe it’s being back in school after being gone for a year, maybe it’s just early-semester problems, but...” Dipper sighed. “It’s just, I’m taking five classes, and I’ve got a TA job this year, and I’m getting back into the DD&MD group again and maybe planning to DM a oneshot as a Halloween event, and...” He sighed again. “It all looked much more manageable on my schedule. It was color-coded and everything!”

Grunkle Ford hummed noncommittally.

“Yeah, I know,” Dipper admitted. “Not the first time I’ve overbooked myself.”

“Not quite, perhaps. But it’s very good that you’re learning to recognize it and take steps to take care of yourself—when I was in college, I burned out routinely.”

“Mabel would sic the ‘Self-Care Fairy’ on me again if I didn’t learn.” The “Self-Care Fairy” was a truly terrifying onslaught of Mabelness, complete with costume and character voice, and would not go away until its subject had reached an acceptable level of well-being and had examined their mistakes. “Which is why...I have to cancel. If I came to Gravity Falls, even with instant travel, I’d only be able to get there around like 5:00 PM and I’d be stressed and anxious the whole time. And then I’d get back here exhausted and with no homework done and with class tomorrow, and...I just don’t think I can afford that.” Dipper paused, a knot twisting in his stomach. “I’m really sorry, I wish we could come...”

“Of course, Dipper, we know you do!” Grunkle Ford hastened to assure him. “Don’t feel sorry for us—of course we’d love to see you, but we just had the summer together. I’m just sorry you’re so short on time.” There was a moment’s silence.

“But how is Mabel doing? Is she facing the same challenges?”

“I mean, sort of.” Dipper smiled ruefully. “She kept trying to figure out some solution so that we could have our usual birthday and everything would work out, but...neither of us could come up with anything that would actually work. And she’s really busy too. She jumped back into school full steam ahead, and she’s got her Etsy store, and all her social groups to keep up with—you know she’s better at managing her energy than I am, but it’s still a lot.”

“I understand that,” Ford said. “You both do what you need to to keep up with your responsibilities, okay? We’re very proud of you both, you know.”

Dipper swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I know, Grunkle Ford.”

“Well, then, I’ll let you go—I imagine you have plenty to do right now! We’ll get in touch with you tomorrow, even if only by text.”

“Thank you, Grunkle Ford! Mabel and I are going to video-call at some point, we think, so there’s that. Say hi to Stan and Soos and Melody and the kids and everyone for me?”

“Of course, my boy. Have a good evening.”

“You too.”

The call disconnected, and Dipper sighed, throwing himself down on his bed. After a minute, he picked up his phone again and texted Mabel.

Just called Ford and canceled plans. He said to take care of ourselves and that he and Stan are proud of us.

Then he pushed himself into the homework for tomorrow until his phone buzzed.

Aww, of course he did. <3 Thanks for calling, brobro. I wish we could go, but you were right--I’ve got WAY too much booked. Why didn’t we check what weekday our birthday was FIRST???

Dipper snorted. Maybe we’re dumb :/

IMPOSSIBLE, Mabel sent back. Clearly an evil College Schedule Gremlin messed with our brains

Is that the same guy who makes it so you can never take the prereqs you need when you need them?

Yep!! And the one who fogs your brain so you THINK you’ve filled all your requirements until it’s too late to patch up the holes in your plan. His phone buzzed a second time after that text. ...Ugh, maybe there ARE gremlins in all the college systems

It would explain Blackboard, Dipper agreed with a frown. Huh, maybe they should look into that...

Anyway, though, u good for Zoom tomorrow?

Dipper huffed, reminded of the fact that they had no time for a paranormal investigation right now. Yeah, he typed, I can do an hour or so anytime after 5:30.

Cool, I will figure out a time and let you know!! Can’t wait to see your 22-year-old face!! :) Even if it sucks that we can’t party :(

Same, same. TTYL :)

Dipper tossed his phone aside again, shutting his eyes for a minute. It wasn’t just the party that had him down—though he would miss the bash that Gravity Falls usually threw on their birthday. It was...everything.

It was having a birthday without Mabel.

Oh, sure, they would talk, but they wouldn’t be in the same place. That was why, really, he’d hung onto their plans until the very last minute. He’d made it work on paper—taking an evening to travel to Gravity Falls, have a party, and be back in time for the next class—and it just felt wrong to admit defeat, to compromise on something this important. Their birthday meant the two of them celebrating together, having a good time, acknowledging that it was important.

This year wasn’t going to feel like a birthday at all, Dipper thought glumly.

But no, that was quitter talk. They were going to do their best anyway, because they were the Mystery Twins! Even if the situation was lame. Even if he was going to spend his time on the call with Mabel tomorrow doing homework and/or bursting with stress.

He opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling. “Why do I always overfill my schedule?” he asked plaintively.

The ceiling didn’t answer.

---

Dipper dropped his backpack with a thud on his dorm room floor, hastily unzipping it and digging out his laptop. He was late—he’d left his thermos in his last classroom, and been halfway across campus before he realized and turned around to go get it. He blamed his sleep deprivation (a week in, and his body still hadn’t readjusted to the rhythm of morning classes).

Now, though, he could finally pull up Zoom. He plugged in his headphones as he waited for it to connect (stupid dorm wifi), and was rewarded with an ear-splitting squeal.

“Happy birthday, Dipper!”

He grinned at her beaming face. “Happy birthday, Mabel!”

“Did you get a birthday cupcake?” she demanded. “Or at least a birthday cookie?”

He grimaced. “I got ice cream at the cafeteria, but I had to eat it there,” he confessed. “Here, I’ve got...a birthday candy bar?”

“Hmph.” Mabel looked crestfallen, but plastered a smile on anyway. “It’ll have to do! We can sing Happy Birthday, anyway. One, two, thr—”

Before they could launch into an inevitably out-of-sync rendition of “Happy Birthday,” Dipper heard a loud knock. Judging by Mabel’s startled turn towards her door, she heard it too—

Wait, what?

The knocking repeated. On both their doors.

“..Huh,” Mabel said thoughtfully. With a wordless glance between them, they both unplugged their headphones and went to their respective doors.

“Happy birthday, slugger!” Stan said, grinning, the instant he saw Dipper. Over the internet, Ford’s voice was greeting Mabel at the same time.

Dipper’s jaw dropped.

“Ha!” Grunkle Stan shoved past him into the room. Waving to the camera, he added, “Happy birthday, sweetie!”

Ford peered past Mabel into the screen. “Happy birthday, Dipper, my boy!”

“But—what—”

“Grunkles!” Mabel cried. “...But wait, why not just video call us? Not that we’re not happy to see your wrinkly faces, but you came such a long way!”

“Yeah, exactly,” Dipper said, waving his arm in confusion. “You guys—you know we can’t really visit, right? Even with you with us? We don’t have time. I dont want you guys to waste a trip—”

“But we didn’t,” Ford said smugly. “We came to bring your birthday presents.”

With a flourish, Stan produced something and handed it to Dipper. It looked like...a piggy bank, but with a clock face set into the side?

Mabel gasped. “It’s so CUTE!”

“But what is it, Grunkle Ford?” Dipper asked.

“Simply put, my boy...it’s time.”

“It’s a Time-Savings Bank,” Stan said proudly. “Got our hands on these babies a few months ago, on a little side trip. See, when you’ve got some extra time—like, at night, or when you’re waiting for a pot to boil, or whatever—you can use these gizmos to store it up instead! Then when you need more time, you use the clock to take it back out. Whammo! You squeeze in a few extra hours between the normal ones.”

“Like Daylight Saving Time without the false advertising,” Ford added. “We know you two are short on time right now, but...if you’d like, there’s enough in here to give you and everyone currently at the Mystery Shack a good few hours of spare time. What do you say, kids? Still up for a party?”

“Are we!” Mabel crowed.

Dipper stared at this miraculous device. “But...that’s a lot of hours,” he said. “Where did you get the time?”

Stan barked out a laugh. “You kiddin’, Dipper? We figured from the start that at least one of you would burn out when you went back to school. We’ve been putting time aside in these things for months.”

“...Really?” Dipper said. Somehow, he found himself blinking rapidly, and swallowing down some obstruction in his throat.

Stan coughed uncomfortably, looking away. “I mean, it’s not like we gave you any time we had a use for. Just some odds and ends here and there...every day... Anyway! You kids wanna get this show on the road?”

“YES!” Mabel shouted.

Dipper beamed. “Definitely,” he said. “Absolutely.”

And a few minutes later, when they all found themselves in the Shack (courtesy of one of those “favors” Ford had mentioned yesterday), and Dipper had piled into the inevitable group hug with his twin and his grunkles—and with hours of birthday celebration in front of them all—he had to add, “Best present ever.”