#shes so badass but it could be better ya know

[venator-signum]

they should remake van helsing (2004) still starring hugh jackman but put me in charge of anna valerious's character I'll do a good job i swear

[killerpancakeburger]

I'm the powder, you’re the fuse

SUMMARY: Soap finds out that his girlfriend is a skilled mercenary. And that he likes it... a lot.

PAIRING: Soap x f!Reader

TAGS: Established relationship, Badass!Reader, Smitten!Soap.

WARNINGS: Canon violence, misogynistic comments/insults, mention of: blood, death, kidnapping/hostage taking, torture, weapons, suggestive content (Soap is Horny), military inaccuracies, swearing.

WORD COUNT: 1.9k

A/N: yes I am still writing the civilian fic with Ghost and Soap... but then I had this idea and thought I could finish it ""quickly"". Written on mobile so if there are mistakes feel free to tell me!!

Soap let out a yawn big enough to dislocate his jaw, staring at his captain with mild resentment.

“This couldn’t hae waited til after breakfast, sir?”

“‘Fraid It could not, John. Actually in just a few minutes you'll be barking at me to know why we haven't gotten a move on already.”

Johnny looked back at his superior with perplexity, before glancing over at his teammates around the table, hoping for a scrap of information. Ghost remained imperturbable while Gaz shrugged.

“We received this video thirty minutes ago. Addressed to a certain Sergeant MacTavish.”

His captain turned on the projector and crossed his arms, leaning against the wall behind him. It was his teammates’ turn to glance at him questioningly, and to him to shrug with ignorance.

The Scottish soldier rubbed his face in an attempt to get rid of his lasting drowsiness as the video projected on the white screen facing them was starting.

A group of armed men in balaclavas were occupying a room. The one in the front spouted the classic ransom demand in exchange for a hostage. Nothing worth being summoned at the crack of dawn for.

Then the spokesman moved aside, revealing their detainee, bound to a chair and gagged, shooting daggers at her captors, and Soap almost knocked over the table with how brutally he stood up. Carried away by white-hot fury, he slammed his hands on the table.

“Fuckin’ - what the fuck is this!? When did this happen? Where are those fucking bastards? I -”

Rage had roughened his usually smooth voice, granting it a gravelly pitch, turning his shout into a growl.

“Control yourself, Sergeant”, interrupted Price, “It's not over yet.”

On the screen, the same man as before grabbed your hair, ignoring your murderous glare, forcing you to look at the camera, and coaxed you with disdain before taking off your gag:

“Come on doll, gonna have to beg real pretty for your man to get him to rescue you.”

The second your mouth was freed, you snarled at him, baring your teeth like you were about to bite.

“I'm gonna rip your throat out with my bare hands, you f-”

“Fuck, someone muzzle that rabid bitch”, swore your agressor, your belligerence clearly having thrown a wrench in his plans.

Soap could not help the flare of pride soaring in his chest at the view of your defiance and your grit.

After receiving their orders, the team left the room to prepare themselves for the assault. 

“A friend of yours?” asked Gaz, while Ghost questioned “Ya know her?”

“That's mah girl”, admitted the Scotsman, a bit sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, looking away. The cat was out of the bag. For your own sake, you had been a well-kept secret, but it was blatant that it didn’t protect you.

“Been together for a year. Never meant to drag her into this, though.”

“She sounds like a bloody riot, mate.” teased Garrick.

“She doesn't seem fazed to be taken hostage. Mainly pissed.” pointed out Ghost, wary.

“She's fearless.” admitted Soap with an enamored little smile. “Doesn't mean we don’t have to get her out of this though.”

His expression shifted from fondness to cold determination.

“‘F course.”

“We've got your back.”

“Gaz? You copy?” called Ghost over coms.

The afornamed was tasked with overwatch. His response arrived, marked by hesitation.

“...  I don't think she needs our help, guys.”

“The fuck s’that supposed to mean?” grumbled the Lieutenant.

“It'd be better if you'd see for yourselves. Third window on the right, second floor.”

Ghost took out a pair of binoculars and pointed them at the given position.

“Fooking hell…”

The expletive was mumbled with a mix of surprise and… awe?

“What? What! Lemme see L.T.!” pleaded Soap.

Ghost quickly passed him the tool, eager to make him shut up. The sergeant hastened to shove them against his face. His gaze took in the sight in front of him and he let out an appreciative whistle.

“Steamin’ jesus…”

He drank in the view that was your bloody display of fierce skill and deadly efficiency. You staggered between the enemies with fluidity, making them seem like clumsy amateurs. Slicing a throat there, shooting a head here, he watched with fascination as you used a dead attacker as a human shield.

“I think I'm hard.”

“TMI,  Soap.” 

Gaz coupled his comment with a gagging noise.

“Can ye blame me! Mah lass is oot there bein’ a bonafide badass ‘n’ that's the hottest shit a've ever seen.”

“M not blaming you for being a horny bastard, I'm blaming you for not keeping it to yourself.”

“If you two are done bickering, we could go pick her up.” groaned Ghost.

Letting Garrick past, he grabbed Soap by the shoulder as he was walking by him.

“You knew?”

“Knew what?”

“That you were going out with a killer.”

“Nae, but it turned out to be a good thing, didn’t it? Cannae imagine how badly this would have ended with a civilian. The wounds, the trauma…”

Ghost let out one of his grunts that Johnny knew meant “I disagree but it's not worth debating you about it.”

Positioning themselves near that final entrance, Soap nodded in response to Ghost's hand signal, waiting for him to break the door down. They were still on their gard in case some of the assailants survived.

In the ensuing silence, your voice reached his ears through the wall he was propped against.

“Come on doll”, you taunted, imitating your captor's scornful tone from earlier, sickly sweet then venomous. “Tell me who you work for and I won't gouge out your remaining eye.”

Johnny gulped. Eavesdropping on this definitely did not help with the… situation in his pants.

The racket produced by Ghost dealing with the door had the merit to make him focus once again. 

His body moving automatically, his training taking over, Soap charged into the room, pointing his rifle at the only person left standing there. Like a reflection of himself, you were aiming your own firearm at him. Your eyebrows were frowned in concentration, your eyes glinting with cold determination. Then recognition dawned on your face, and you heaved a sigh of relief, lowering your weapon.

“It's you! You scared the shit out of me.”

Relief flooded through him at the sight of you, bruised, battered, and blood-spattered, but alive. He tossed his gun aside as you put down yours, ready to embrace you, but Ghost's voice stopped him in his tracks.

“Back off, Soap.”

An order. Johnny stared at him in shock.

“What the hell, L.T.?”, he hissed in his direction.

You docilely raised your hands in the air as the masked man lined up the end of his gun's barrel with your head.

“Worst rescue party ever”, you mumbled to yourself.

“Sorry, Johnny”, grumbled Skullface, not sounding sorry in the slightest, never taking his eyes off you. “But do your usual conquests take down a dozen armed men on their own?”

Illustrating his words, he gestured with his rifle to the ground littered with corpses. The man you had started to interrogate - the only one left alive - whined in pain.

“So what's your deal? Ya a mole? Shagging Johnny for intel?”

“Ghost!” Soap gasped, offended for himself as much as for you. “M not some clueless newbie!”

You made a face at the question. You understood where he was coming from, hell you’d do the same if the roles were reversed, but that didn’t mean you enjoyed sharing details of your sordid past, especially with a stranger. The less people knew about it, the better.

“I used to be a mercenary for a family who did organized crime. Been clean for years though.”

“Oh yeah? They let you leave just like that?”

“The boss’ daughter had a soft spot for me.”

The lieutenant stared at you for a few more seconds, as if judging the veracity of your statements through sight alone, before lowering his weapon.

A resounding “Bonnie!” rang out. Next thing you knew, your boyfriend's muscular arms closed around you, causing you to yelp, pain running through you at the overeager contact. Soap cursed and apologized profusely.

“Bloody hell, a'm sorry, didnae mean tae hurt ye. Are ye alright? Show me where it hurts. If those bastards leid a hand on ye, I swear-”

There was something both flattering and arousing with how the more Soap lost his cool, the more pronounced his accent became, and the rougher his voice sounded. You placed a finger across his mouth to put an end to his verbal onslaught, an endeared smile on your own.

“At ease, soldier. I'm OK, just some bruised ribs and a busted eyebrow.” you summarized while pointing to the trickle of dried blood on the side of your face.

He leaned his forehead against yours, a gesture that felt terribly intimate, an adoring grin adorning his lips.

“Cannae believe ye wiped out those sorry fuckers all on yer own. Fuck, that's hot.” he confessed in a subdued tone.

You threw your head back in laughter, only to wince when your sore ribs manifested themselves.

“Never heard that one before. Could get used to it, though.”

You laced your fingers behind his neck, nonchalantly leaning against him, not fighting back an impish smile. Soap's hands grabbed your hips in response. Your roguish expression must have gotten the better of his restraint, because one breath later, he was hungrily pressing his mouth against yours. You replied in kind, swiftly deciding you did not care for his colleagues’ presence, and he moaned in appreciation.

After a minute or two, you broke the kiss against your will, remembering an issue that needed to be solved. You smiled, amused by the vision that was Soap chasing your lips blindly, then pouting when you refused him.

“So you guys are gonna take care of the bodies, right…? I can deal with one or two, but this is a bit much.”

The last soldier, the one you didn’t hear from yet, a pretty man with dark skin that Soap would later introduce as Gaz, assured you that they would handle it.

Transferring your attention back to Johnny, you noticed a trace of guilt in those ocean eyes of his, as he was staring at you.

“Something wrong?”

“Ye not mad at me?”

“Why would I be mad at you?” you frowned.

“It's mah fault if those bastards took ye.”

“Oh, Johnny…” you sighed wistfully, cupping his face. “I knew what the risks were when I chose to date a soldier. Plus, there will always be a chance that my past catches up to me. I was pretty fucking mad when I got a hood shoved on my head and my arms twisted behind my back before getting hauled away in the middle of the fucking night, but not at you.”

Once they gathered all the intel they needed and dragged away the only survivor, the team and you left the building. Your testimony was required for the mission report, so you accompanied them without protest, longing for the care that would be provided by their medical facility.

As you were walking to their vehicule, hand in hand with Soap, you noted how he couldn’t take his eyes off you.

His cerulean eyes kept greedily roaming all over you, like you were a vision so dream-like it was making him doubt your reality, like you would vanish the second he stopped contemplating you.

“Yer one badass lass, y'know that? ‘M so proud o’ ye. Proud tae be yers.”

A/N: Ghost's "grunts that Johnny knew meant “I disagree but it's not worth debating you about it.” " is based on my grandma 💀

[ssparksflyy]

Hiii I hope you are having a great day!! I was wondering if you could make another percy jackson x daughter of Hecate reader? If you don’t/ can’t do it that’s fine I just though i would ask.

ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.

percy jackson dating hcs ! *ੈ✩‧₊˚

pairing: percy jackson x latina!daughter of hecate!reader warning(s): swearin an: dw i got ur 2nd request that u wanted reader to be latina :)) i just added in some little things that tie in ♡♡ srry if these are short btw </3

in the dead of night, your eyes so greennnnnnnn

you and percy tend to stay up later than most of camp

your always up and out after curfew

you js function better at night okay

me asf

the day is reserved for lake dates and the night is reserved for sky watching dates ♡♡

youre literally attached by the hip if you couldnt tell

as they say in waitress, i love you means your never ever getting rid of me ♡

you usually watch from the roof of cabin 3, just cuddled up and sharing a blanket

but once percy suggested you watch from the docks

and you were like oh!

not actually but you looked really hesitant

he was like whats wrong??

so you told him about la llorona !! #coquette

it was so preppy

but now youre both scared to go to the lake at night

even though yk shes not real

and youve literally been through tartarus

and back

and you face unimaginable horrors every day

and percy's literally the son of the sea god

mexican folklore is scary ok yall

idc if it didnt scare you as a kid / you like horror

I DONT

IM TRAUMATIZED

MY GRANDMA PUT ON LA LEYENDA DE LA LLORONA WHEN I WAS FIVE AND I HAVENT KNOWN A DAY OF PEACE SINCE

sorry for trauma dumping yall

kinda silly how some story about a lady who drowned her kids is enough to make 2 of camp half blood's strongest soldiers shake in their boots

so u stick to rooftops ♡

you and hazel are bestiessss

shes a honorary member of cabin 20 of course

you exchange tips and tricks, hazel telling you about the things she saw hecate do and the things she said to her

and you tell her about the things youve picked up over the years :))

percy cant help but smile whenever he sees you two together

he sees hazel as a sister

(yall remember in son when he was ready to fight somebody for her or something like that i dont remember exactly what he said but i do know he was ready to fight)

and ur his fav girl ever ♡

his heart just feels warmed

same way he feels when he sees you playing with estelle

you show her a bit of ur powers and she flips outtttt

she asks sally to be a witch for halloween because "i want to be just like (y/n)!!!"

dont know about yall but if i went home and my family found out i was involved with ~brujeria~ i would not be accepted at home (please read as if youre white and cant say shit in spanish)

thats just the mad religious side talking dont worry yall

but sally and paul would literally let you in with open arms

the jackson's apartment is your second home

percy has a drawer reserved for your clothes in his room ♡♡

he loves it when you sleepover, at home or at camp

he absolutely adores kissing your hands

he doesnt care about the dangers you can produce from them, he'll kiss em allllll he wants

you could be cuddled up together, ur reading to him and he just grabs one of your hands and begins to leave a trail of kisses up your arm, shoulder, neck, cheek, and eventually leaving one on your temple

it just gets you like 😵‍💫

he loves his badass girlfriend, okay?

literally your #1 fan

would beat up anybody who talks shit !!!

tea is your holy ground ♡

because you cant drink coffee

cause ya know, adhd, youll just end up knocking out

though you do drink it when you cant fall asleep at night

its me, hi

and hot chocolate is strickly an only-in-december drink, because then it wont hit in december, since you had it earlier in the year

(my mom does that with gorditas and tamales broooo its painful)

so ya drink tea!

i dont drink tea, so im not even gonna try to tell you what his favorite is

he likes whatever you like

but you try a bunch of different teas and stuff together :)

youd probably adopt a black cat together when youre older

youre never gonna beat your neighbor's witch allegations

(probably because theyre true but youll obviously never say that)

i feel like percy would be more of a dog person but lets be real, he likes horses.

fuckin horse girl smh

but that does not mean he wouldnt love and care for the cat

he'd so let you stop to pet any stray cat you see on the street

takes pictures of the cat anytime you do ♡

you cook together !!

you teach percy a bunch of different recipes and stuff :)

has a 'kiss the cook' apron 100%

and what can ya say, you gotta kiss the cook

man you guys manage to stay silly throughout the horrors, we love

[its-time-to-write]

Hi! Could You write a Jamie x Kent!reader? Like roy finds out when phoebe recognizes Jamie in a cute way,and he loses his mind on reader and Jamie,but phoebe saves the day? Thanks and best wishes✨

Got it! Here ya go! Thank you for requesting 💙

take your time while you’re mine

Roy is your brother. Molly is your sister. Phoebe is your niece. You’re a Kent, and (in your opinion) you’re the worst one. Roy’s all about football and coaching and being grumpy, Molly is a badass doctor/mom, and Phoebe is, well, Phoebe. She’s way cooler than any of you, and she’s only eight. 

You feel like you’ve been clawing and scratching your way to the top ever since you were younger, trailing after Roy and Molly.

You forged your own path, acquiring university degrees like it was your job. You let work consume you, traversing the world in a journey of self-discovery until Molly called you one day, with the news that Phoebe’s dad was gone for good. She didn’t ask, but you answered anyway. You dropped everything and flew back to London.

You’ve been around ever since, changing diapers, taking Phoebe to school, going to Roy’s football matches. You’d settled into your own skin a little more, and although it wasn’t a path you chose, it was a path you loved.

Your favorite was hanging around after matches, waiting for Roy to drive you home. You got to talk to his teammates and joke around with them about Roy’s gruff demeanor. There was only one you didn’t like. Jamie Tartt.

You’d have to agree with Roy’s assessment of this one, although Molly banned all talk of Jamie in the house. All it would take is for one of you to start and then you and Roy would just go at it, about how he was a little prick and far too self-righteous and how his stupid, awful hair was nothing compared to his stupid, awful face.

You were glad when he was kicked off the team.

You were upset when he came back.

But, he started hanging around.

His hair was less stupid and his face was less prick-ish, especially when he was cracking dumb jokes to make you laugh.

He’d talk to you while you waited for Roy, then slip away as soon as he appeared.

Jamie-talk was less banned around the house now, but you still didn’t engage. Roy didn’t notice but Molly did, because she cornered you on one of her rare days off to ask you about it.

“You like Jamie,” she states, as you were elbow-deep in dishes.

You look at her, alarmed. “What? No, I don’t. He’s a prick.”

Molly raises an eyebrow (a family trait Phoebe has not yet mastered). “Then why don’t you talk about him?”

You shrug as best you can without flinging soap. “Like I said, he’s a prick. And you were the one who said we couldn’t talk about him.”

Molly returns your shrug. “That was because you both were feeding off each other’s nasty energy. Didn’t want it around Phoebe. But Roy obviously doesn’t hate him anymore, and you’re clearly head-over-heels for him.”

The plate you’re scrubbing slips from your grasp, splashing both you and Molly.

“What makes you say that?” you ask, as casually as possible.

Molly laughs. “Not sure if you’ve forgotten, but I am your older sister. I know more about you than you know about yourself.”

“Fine,” you say, dropping a fork back into the water. “He asked me out two days ago and I said yes because I do like him, but I don’t want Roy finding out, so you’d better not tell him!”

Molly grins. “Fuckin’ knew it. My lips are sealed.” 

—

You’re successfully sneaking around Roy for one month, when the shoe drops. You and Jamie had been taking Phoebe out about once a week when you were positive Roy was either out of town or “getting his old-man rest,” as you like to call it. Seriously, that man could sleep an entire weekend away. 

This time, he and Molly have something at Phoebe’s school. She insisted he come because, quote, “I’m not braving those crazy mums by myself, and you’re scary enough to keep them away.”

Roy says yes, obviously, because he’d do anything for Molly. You would too, which is why you, Phoebe, and Jamie are strolling around Richmond, and why she and Jamie are trying to convince you of their need for ice cream sandwiches. 

“Pheebs, we literally just had ice cream cones. Why do you need an ice cream sandwich?”

“Because it’s lunch time.” The duh in her voice is heavily implied. 

“And, babe, you have sandwiches at lunch,” Jamie adds. 

“It’s a totally different food group,” Phoebe agrees. 

You roll your eyes. “Babes, Moll will absolutely kill me if I let you. No way.”

You’re saved from their rebuttal by a voice saying, “What the fuck is Tartt doing here?”

The three of you jump, startled, and you and Jamie unclasp hands. You turn to see a frowning Roy. 

“Roy!” you say, unconvincing smile on your face, “I thought you were at Phoebe’s school. Where’s Molls?”

Roy’s glare never leaves Jamie’s face. “We left early. Now answer the fucking question.”

 You can see Phoebe starting her mental tab of Roy’s swear words. Of all the times not to have her notebook handy. 

She knows neither you nor Jamie are going to be able to come up with a coherent response so she says, “Uncle Jamie picked us up to get ice cream.”

This registers with Roy, possibly a little too well, because he steps closer to Jamie and growls, “Hang on. Why the fuck does she call you ‘Uncle Jamie?’”

Jamie shrugs, grateful for any moment he’s still breathing. “Dunno. For me lovable personality?”

“No,” says Phoebe, “it’s because you’re dating my aunt so that makes you my uncle!”

Roy turns on Jamie. “You’re fucking what?”

Jamie holds up his hands. “In my defense, I wanted to tell ya. She thought you’d be mad.” He points at you.

“Was I wrong?” you ask, arms crossed, “Or is this another thing you’re going to be overprotective about?”

You can see Roy’s self-control working overtime as he tries to figure out a response that is going to a) not make you mad b) irritate Jamie and c) be appropriate for Phoebe’s ears. He finally settles on a strained, “Great,” and you smile.

“I love Uncle Jamie,” Phoebe says, fully aware of everything Roy is thinking. “He buys me ice cream and makes us laugh.”

Roy gives you a look that says, we’re fucking talking about this later and you pretend not to see it. You feel for Jamie. You have a feeling that 4am practices are about to get a lot more hellish. 

At least you won’t be alone for Roy’s interrogation. You know he’s going to lose his fucking mind when he hears Molly knew this whole time. 

You don’t worry about it yet, though. Right now you just listen to Jamie and Phoebe swear to Roy they haven’t had the chance to get their ice creams yet, and maybe he should take them because it’s getting close to lunch time and they’re quite hungry?

[goodgirlssayiloveyoutoo]

People have said it, but I’m so frustrated I gotta say it again. In my opinion I feel that if Tim was being genuinely supportive of Lucy he wouldn’t have let the crime scene be compromised by the sprinklers. A) this is his role and duty as sergeant and a police officer who wants to see murderers be brought to justice and B) in not telling her it resulted in her being embarrassed in front of the entire precinct, dressed down by Wesley of all people and could have had real professional ramifications on her career if a murderer got away for her mistake.

I see the comparisons to Plain Clothes Day, and I definitely think it was intentional on the writers part. But my issue is that on plain clothes day Tim is the TO and Lucy the rookie, and he still ensures the vehicle is impounded so not to risk the crime scene being contaminated. She still learns the lesson and the criminal isn’t at risk of walking free. But that isn’t what happened in 6x01, if Lucy hadn’t been paying attention or sitting there they never would have solved it. Tim just lets the sprinklers go off? Let’s a crime scene be contaminated for what, to teach Lucy , a P2 and resident badass and oh ya his girlfriend… a lesson? I almost feel like a better word than undermined to describe what happened is “sabotaged.” I feel like if I was Lucy I’d feel sabotaged too. In the height of anxiety spiral your amygdala is firing so rapidly it is extremely hard to make any rational choices, Tim didn’t try to stop or help her (which we have seen him do!!! Many times! And he does it well!! 5x01?! Her rookie days!?) and just lets a crime scene that his girlfriend is in charge of be completely destroyed. 😭

I really hope it’s addressed in 6x02 cause I feel like this is OOC for Tim. He has never been shown, that I can remember at least, to risk the solving of a crime and finding justice to simply to teach a rookie or fellow officer a lesson. Plus they are no longer TO/ Rookie they are a couple, where is the equal footing we witnessed when they went undercover and Lucy was a bad ass UC? Lucy got lucky with this case and I am back to just hoping we get to see competent bad ass detective Lucy. I’m also hoping the show and writers use this as an avenue to explore what Tim actually being supportive looks like (knowing what to say to talk her out of a spiral about the dirty needle for just one small example), his reservations and own dishonesty around Lucy going UC and more of the argument at the end cause I, like many others, LOVE it when they give Tim and Lucy meaningful, angsty material. One of my fave scenes of theirs is the 2x01 fight Oof that was 🔥🔥🔥

[dellalyra]

𝙛𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙙 - 𝙛𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙮 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨

A/N: request from my wife @soraya-daydreams - this is almost crack I stg.

Summary: The kids try edibles. Yuuji - maybe went overboard.

CW: the kids do edibles, swearing, crackfic, one or two suggestive sentences idk. mdni shoo go away

“But where would we even get it? It’s not like I have many drug dealing contacts.” Nobara hisses, as the three first years discuss their plans in a secluded part of the grounds.

“Fushiguro - your parents would definitely know where to get some, why don’t we ask them?” Itadori pokes his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Yeah they probably would, but they don’t do that shit anymore - Dad never could because of … all the eyes. Plus, with Akio being so young I don’t want them to have something to worry about if they start to fuss over us all smoking.” Megumi muses.

“Valid - when we started dating your Dad gave me lube and condoms and asked if I needed the sex talk, I think I died again that day.” Itadori nods, solemnly.

“Back to the issue at hand! Where do we obtain one bag of weed?” Nobara says, hands slapping the desk she sits at.

The three first years had decided that they wanted to do teenage stuff - since their lives were so crazy, Megumi was a potential heir for a large Sorcerer family and the son of the strongest sorcerers alive - Itadori was Sukuna’s vessel and Nobara was well on her way to a first grade, as well as the issues with being a young woman in sorcery. Because of their guardians (self-appointed) being as chill as they were, they didn’t really have anything to rebel against, so there was no point in sneaking out when they can just say where they are going with a ‘text when you get there’ from Y/N. There was no point in trying to sneak their parents alcohol, because there’s a ‘you can drink with us, or under our roof safely’ policy in place too. There was no secret dating, Itadori and Megumi were together already and Nobara… well, she hoped it wouldn’t be long before a certain Zen’in girl realised she was crazy about her. So that left smoking a joint, but Itadori said he had tried a cigarette before and hated it when he was at a party in school and Nobara didn’t want to smoke and stain her nails - so it was decided Yuuji would make brownies… special brownies.

“We could ask someone? Todo, maybe?” Yuuji suggests, before being answered with a unanimous ‘absolutely not’.

“I don’t know anyone else we could ask for weed from!” He responds, his sole idea shut down.

“You guys need weed?” A voice asks from behind them.

In the archway to the part of the garden stands a tall, beautiful woman with long blonde hair - holding a motorbike helmet under her arm and smiling.

Megumi thought he knew the woman from somewhere, photos maybe? Or was she at the wedding?

“Tsukomo-san! It’s - absolutely amazing to meet you!” Nobara says, shooting up from the bench.

“Wait - Yuki Tsukomo?! Who was Todo’s mentor?!” Yuuji adds.

“Ah, so you know that little knucklehead. Crazy kid, whole lotta balls I’ll tell ya that much. So - you guys need weed?” She says, leaning against the arch and shoving her hand into a pocket inside the jacket, before producing a small bag of greenery from inside.

“Eh! It’s - not what you think, we’re not - wait, is that weed? You have some?” Nobara asks.

“Sweetheart, I’ve travelled the world and back twice, of course I have some good - here, take this - share with the boys if you want.” She says, winking at Nobara who, for the first time in 6 months, swoons over someone who isn’t Maki Zen’in. Yuuji doesn’t fare much better.

She turns to leave, but gets caught by the sight of the boy beside Sukuna’s vessel.

“Holy shit, kid. Frightened the fuck outta me, fuckin’ clone of your old man.” She says, surveying him.

His head snaps to look at her.

“You knew him?” He asks.

“Yeah, cool guy - pretty fucked up, but still pretty cool. If ya ask me, you were way better off with the Jujutsu Royals - Y/N’s a badass, love that lil’ lady. The beanstalks alright, too - got some talent. She have the baby yet?” She asks, as she clips her bike helmet on.

“Um, yeah. He’s 10 months old now, just started walking.” He says, flabbergasted by this woman.

“Sick one, tell her good job from Yuki. Enjoy kids.” She says, and saunters away - and second later they hear the rumble of an engine.

The three are silent for a minute.

“What the fuck just happened?” Yuuji asks.

“Um… a special grade sorcerer just gave us a bag of weed.” Nobara says, equally as confused.

“I’m too tired for this shit. C’mon, let’s go inside.” He says, as they all begin making their way to the dorm rooms.

“Bone apple feet!”

Yuuji plops a plate of really delicious looking brownies down on the desk in front of his two fellow first years.

“So… do we just… eat a brownie each?” Nobara asks.

“Well, I made 6! So there’s 2 for each of us? Or we could ask the second years -” Yuuji is cut off.

“Ask the second years what?” Came the voice of Maki Zen’in from the doorway.

“Oh! Are they brownies?!” Panda asks, immediately making a beeline.

“They’re eh… special brownies.” Megumi nods.

“Shit - you kids make edibles?” Maki asks, a pleased smirk on her face.

“Do you guys want some?” Yuuji asks.

“Shake!” Inumaki says, sliding past Panda to grab a brownie as he turns away to pull his mask down and eat.

Maki looks at Nobara, who flushes and smiles, as Maki takes a seat on the bed beside her and takes 2 brownies - passing one to the flustered girl beside her.

Yuuji and Panda go next, each almost devouring their brownie in one bite - with Megumi taking his and deciding that you actually can’t taste the weed.

They all sit there for a few minutes.

“Yuuji - are you sure you put enough in? I’m not feeling anything?” Megumi asks, perplexed by the lack of effect.

“Well, I used the whole bag - but it was pretty small I guess.” They all just sit and chat together until out of the blue, a highly unusual sound comes from the corner of the room.

Inumaki was hysterically laughing at his phone, tears streaming down his face.

He spins the phone around, and immediately Maki and Megumi lose it laughing - true, belly shaking laughter from both the ex-Zen’in’s.

The video in question that made them all lose it was a man doing a voiceover on a video of a bird.

Maki’s laughter doesn’t seem to disturb the girl beside her, who - apparently within the last 30 seconds - passed out asleep, drooling on Itadori’s shoulder, and cuddling his arm.

Itadori on the other hand, had never looked so serious in his life. In his head, he was desperately trying to answer the universe’s biggest questions.

Are we alone in the universe? Is there other intelligent life? What is life, what are we here? Are human’s the true villains? Which Disney villain has the best fashion sense? Who closes the bus door after the driver gets off? Is this a simulation, am I being controlled by a greater being? What is God, was Ariana correct - is God a woman?

His mind was running through every profound thought a man could ever have, the universe’s question’s suddenly becoming his main goal and a quest only he can achieve.

Megumi’s interest in the multitude of videos that had Maki doing impressions of birds and Inumaki cackling had dwindled, growing distracted by the beautiful boy in front of him. Yuuji was so pretty, so perfect, so kind and so sexy. That thought flushed through his mind as the memories of times they had… ‘spent the night’ together made him giggle like a schoolgirl and flush bright red. He made his way over to Yuuji and sat himself on his lap, stroking his hair and pressing kisses to his cheeks.

“I love you, Yu - you’re so pretty. I wanna be your husband someday and I’ll help you make meatballs every night and we can get a dog.” Megumi started his enamoured rant, as he realised he’d never said these things out loud before and wondered why the hell hasn’t he? They’ve been dating for 4 months now, he must have just forgotten. He continued gushing over his boyfriend and pressing kisses to his nose and cheeks - Yuuji was externally smiling and had the Nobara free hand wrapped around his love’s waist but inside his mind was a whirlwind.

Is the s or the c in scent the silent letter? How does glue not stick to the bottle? What is colour? How many holes does a straw have? Is this real - am I real?

Panda, on the other hand - had never felt more paranoid in his life. This room, eyes everywhere. They we’re watching him, the walls we’re watching him. He abruptly stood up and stumbled to the door, and tried the handle.

It didn’t budge.

(It was just locked, he just needed to slide the lock.)

He tried again.

Nothing.

By now he was panicking and pulling at the door with all his might. He was Panda - he will not be imprisoned! So he did the only thing he knew and slammed his way through the door. It flew off its hinges and lay in two pieces on the hallway floor.

In the corridor, looking at a cheering Panda, running away and chanting ‘freedom’ - stood a tall, white haired man and his wife.

They just exchanged looks with each other before poking their heads into Nobara’s dorm room - where they had originally planned to knock.

They both surveyed the scene in front of them for a moment, before you just whispered:

“What the fuck…?” Your voice alerted the kids who all immediately froze.

“Is this opposites day? What’s going on here, kiddos?” Satoru asks, leaning against the wall.

“Nothing! Nothing is going on! We’re just - we’re having a girl’s night!” Yuuji spouted.

“Yeah! A girl’s night.” Megumi agreed.

As you both looked at all of them, you poked Satoru and pointed to your eyes - desperately trying not to laugh. The red eyes and droopy faces and flushed cheeks were painfully obvious and highly recognisable from your school days.

The kids were high as shit.

“Oh - what are you all doing?” Satoru says, thoroughly enjoying torturing them all.

“We’re eh - Nobara and I - we’re talking about boys! Crushes on boys and things. Penis talk.” Maki tries to explain.

Inumaki can’t deal with this and can’t hold back his laughter as Maki says ‘penis talk’ he loses his mind and flops laughing onto the desk.

“Maki honey, you’re a lesbian.” You say, and she raises her eyebrows - forgetting the ultimate flaw to her excuse being that she has no more interest in penis possessing men than she does going on a date with a curse.

“Also - Nobara doesn’t look like she’d make for a great conversation right now.” Satoru smirks, looking at the slightly snoring Kugisaki.

“Yuuji? Megumi?” You say, excited to hear what they say.

“I am doing homework! Studying, learning about eh - curses.” Yuuji says, picking up a blue object from beside him.

“Oh? I didn’t think you could do homework on a Nintendo Switch?” Satoru can’t help it now, the frantic excuses might be the highlight of his week.

“I do my homework beside a switch everyday.” Megumi says, smirking a provocative smile and pinching his boyfriend’s cheek.

That’s the final straw for you and Satoru who can’t help it anymore and the dam breaks.

You fall into him, head in his chest as he almost collapses from crippling laughter as you all survey the whacked out teenagers.

“Shit, ‘toru - were we all the obvious?” You ask, wheezing.

“God no - you guys were way better, how high are you?!” He asks, tears falling from behind his blindfold.

“I’m 5ft 11 inches.” Megumi says, smiling brightly and patting the top of his head.

That sets you both off again.

“Oh fucking hell, this has gotta be edibles.” You say, trying to catch your breath.

“That’s a fun word - isn’t it, edibles? ED - IB - LES. edi-bles. Wait - am I saying that right? Hold on, am I talking or is this in my head?” Maki considers.

Megumi stands up at this point, and puts a hand each on you and Satoru’s shoulders.

“Mom. Dad. You guys - you guys. You’re awesome. I love you both, Mom you are so badass and scary and you give the best cuddles and shit! You made a baby a while ago and then like? You can make flowers kill people? That’s so awesome. Dad you’re like, an idol, you’re so cool and it’s so fun that you have so many eyes, you’re like a spider! And I like your fancy hair.” He says, before throwing his arms around you both and hugging you tight into him.

Who the fuck was this kid?

You pet his head and thank him, and Satoru says that you both love him too - and that he also likes his fancy hair as he desperately tries not to laugh.

You notice Yuuji is deep in thought.

“You okay, Yuu?” You ask.

He looks at you, the most contemplative look you’ve ever seen on anyone.

“Is a gingerbread man made of house? Or is a gingerbread house made of flesh?” He asks, eyes wide with realisation.

You and your husband sit on the bed, megumi curling back up in Yuuji’s lap as Maki and Toge continue cackling over videos of dumb animals.

You settle in, Satoru’s arm around you.

There’s no way in hell you’re missing this show.

[lover-222]

Shut Up and Love Me (Pablo Gavi)

...

"NO PABLO! it's done i'm sick and tired of you. you're always a jealous mess and always trying to control me. i can't help it if men look my way. i've told you many fucking times i love you and only you. i don't know why you can't believe me!!" y/n yelled, tears streamed down her face.

"BUT-I I CLEARLY SAW HE WAS FLIRTING WITH YOU AND YOU LET HIM Y/N!! YOURE MY GIRLFRIEND NOT THEIRS. YOU LET THEM FLIRT WITH YOU" gavi said as he furrowed his eyebrows at her.

"look gavi it's done it's fucking over. grow the fuck up, talk to me when you're done being a jealous overprotective asshole" she told him and got out of his car.

_____

at the barça vs atlético madrid game

the game was just 1 month after y/n and gavi's breakup. she was a mess, her eyes were puffy and hair was all over the place. she had been living in one of gavi's hoodies and a pair of sweatpants. although she decided to support the team and she wasn't going to let gavi have the satisfaction.

she was a strong woman, there are plenty of men who could treat her better than he did. another reason was pedri. he truly was like an older brother to her, she wanted to go support him. although he had also gone to her house to basically drag her to go and to motivate her.

"vamos hermana, tú ni le hagas caso al tío. vas a venir por mi y para verme jugar" pedri smiled at her while moving her arms. (c'mon sister, don't even pay attention to him, you're going to come for me and watch me play)

"pedri i don't even have a jersey that doesn't have his name on the back" she rolled her eyes.

"i came prepared don't worry look at this" he smiled at her as he pulled out a barça jersey with pedri's name and number. he played around and moved his hands as he showed her the jersey.

"pedrito what am i going to do without you" she laughed and grabbed it from from his hands.

"probably rot in this room alone" pedri laughed.

"cállate tonto" she laughed and went to get ready. (shut up dumbass)

"okay i'm ready pedrooooo!!!!" she yelled.

"i'm right here literally no need to yell y/n" he said playfully annoyed.

surprisingly y/n got ready on perfect timing since pedri had to be at camp nou like an hour before the game. on the ride there they listened to y/n's playlist which was filled with reggueton music. pedri liked to see her jam out and finally smile. after what happened with gavi, he felt like she lost herself.

best part by daniel caesar started playing. y/n's laugh died down and her smiled dropped. the clouds started to block the sun a bit, and it started to to drizzle outside.

"you got to be fucking kidding me" she sighed.

"what's wrong?" pedri looked at her.

"this is our song, fuck i hate him but at the same time i miss him so much" y/n said as her eyes got teary eyed.

*flashback*

'where you go i follow, no matter how far'

"are you sure? i really don't want you to leave just for me y/n" gavi said worried.

"mi amor i'll go to the end of the world with you" she replied.

she left mexico and moved to barcelona for him because she loved him. it took time for her to adjust to spain but it worked out somehow.

"not homesick yet mi vida?" the brown eyed boy asked.

"a little bit but you're my home pablo, i just need you by my side and i'll be perfectly fine. you make me feel at ease. all my worries go away when i'm with you" y/n looked up at him, he looked amazing in the golden sunlight.

*flashback over*

"i know he was the reason you moved here but you on your own accomplished many things. you finished university here and got a modeling job, your also making your own clothes" pedri cheered you up.

"yeah i just miss him, but you're right i'm a fucking badass without him" she smiled.

they pulled up to camp nou, they parked the car and went in. the stadium was starting to fill.

"bueno te veo después del partido nena ya sabes dónde ir" pedri said.(you know where to go, i'll see you after the game)

"si, suerte predrito anota muchos goles por mi" she laughed.

(yes, good luck pedrito score many goals for me)

pedri left and she went to the seats that were designated for the wives and family members of the team. there was a particular seat she sat in when she would come see gavi. although that seat was already taken, she was beautiful; she had short blonde hair and her make-up was flawless.

y/n sat down 3 seats away from her. as soon as she sat down the other girl notice her. her piercing green eyes looked into y/n brown eyes. they exchanged a friendly hi and hello.

once the game started y/n started cheering for pedri every time he had the ball or got near to scoring a goal. although something caugh her off guard when gavi scored a goal.

"eso mi amor !!!!!" the blonde girl yelled.

that's when she notice the blonde girl's jersey... 'gavi 6'.

gavi's pov

i knew i fucked up, messed up so bad. i got carried away with my overprotection. i need to learn how to control my anger and jealousy. i knew i fucked up, after the breakup i lost myself. i partied every chance i got, and over worked myself.

while clubbing, i met laura; she was there to somewhat relieve my pain. we started hooking up, drinking together, as well as going out. the thing was that i didn't love her as much as i loved y/n, i don't think i ever will love someone as her.

i really did want to get back with y/n but i dug a hole too deep with laura. now we're dating? but i know i'm using her as a rebound.

during the match i scored the first goal. i ran with my team to celebrate my goal and looked at the crowd. my eyes gazed through the designated area where the family members were. the spot where y/n always sat in was used by laura.

my smile left, she wasn't there. she was sitting down on her phone. not even paying attention to my goal. i want her back desperately bad.

he could see that joao felix got her attention. her gaze was strong and alluring. she looked at him as he fixed his sweaty hair and drank water during half time.

that's what sparked his jealousy once again. joao felix had the ball and i ran up to him as fast as i could and pushed him down. maybe i should control my anger issues? or not.

___

the game ended 3-1, gavi and pedri scored goals. they finally let the wife's and family come down to the field. gavi was a sweaty mess, it could've been because of the game or the jealousy that made his blood boil. pedri saw y/n coming down and approaching him.

"hermanitoo!! you did so good pedri that goal was majestic bro" she laughed then him.

"i know right!! i was kind of nervous for today's game though, i think it was because of your guys' breakup. although good thing it didn't affect my relationship with him in the field" pedri smiled.

"aye pero me presentas al joao no? se cae de bueno el tio ese " y/n playfully told pedri as she wiggled her eyebrows and looked at joao who was behind pedri.

 (introduce me to joao he's so hot)

"bueno vamos loca, ey pero si viste como te mataba con la mirada gavi cuando mirabas al otro tio?" he asked her.

 (okay fine crazy, he could've killed you with the way he was looking at you)

"siiii pero me hice la tonta y no vi a gavi, bueno ya presentame con joao andale pedriii. se me cupido porfa!!" y/n tugged on pedri's shoulder.

(yess, but i ignored him, cmon introduce me to joao cmon pedri. be my cupid please)

he laughed and ruffled her hair, although he did agree. pedri came up to joao felix and introduced y/n to him. y/n thought he was attractive, he did as well. he loved her smile and laugh. pedri left, joao and y/n were still talking and it seemed like they really did hit it off. although y/n felt someone staring at her. she noticed his figure standing by, his eyebrows were furrowed and a disgusted look was evident.

"he hates me doesn't he?" joao asked her and she shook her head.

"it's just because you're talking to me, he's the ex-boyfriend at the moment"

"aaaa makes more sense, it looks like he's still very into you. are ya'll gonna get back together?"

y/n sighed and looked at gavi, who was now trying to look interested in whatever laura was saying.

"maybe i don't know yet"

"well i'm here if you want to hang out or something as friends...until you make up your mind" he smiled at her.

they exchanged numbers and y/n left with pedri to dinner since he invited her. after dinner, pedri brought her back to her house. she took of her boots, skirt and pedri's jersey. she changed into some black biker shorts and a spain jersey. she proceeded to do her night time routine, taking of her makeup, washing her face, as well as taking off the clips in her hair.

*ding* text message

nene <3 : we need to talk.

y/n: pablo not now

nene <3 : too late i'm outside your house, please y/n just 5 minutes please mi amor

y/n: don't call me that pablo. i'm coming.

y/n looked at the messages, she looked at his contact name. nene, she didn't even change his contact name. she wanted to go outside and run into his arms, she wanted to hug him so tight that he'd run out of air. she missed him so dearly it was unreal. but no she had to be strong. there he was leaning on his car, he opened the door for her. she rolled her eyes but got in.

"go you have five minutes" she looked ahead, not even looking at him. if she did she would definitely tear down her walls.

"I know that i'm a jealous jerk y/n and i feel ashamed of it. all i wanted to do was to protect you, but i know that with my jealousy i overreacted and got ahead of things. i am truly sorry, you have no idea how much i regret having that argument with you. i miss you y/n, every night, every morning, every single day; i miss you. i know that i'm not worthy of your love, and if you don't want to take me back it's ok with me. you deserve someone way better than me, and who will treat you better" gavi said with tears in his eyes.

"what about laura?" she said.

"i broke up with her after the game, i was honest with her. she's someone i met while we were broken up. but i just want you y/n nobody else" he said

she finally got the courage to look him in the eyes. god she missed his chocolate brown eyes, they were puffy and red from crying. she looked at him and his beautiful complexion.

"promise?" she asked him with a smile.

"i promise, i'm done being a being a jealous overprotective asshole as you said" he laughed.

"c'mon let's go inside and cuddle" she said then gave him a desperate kiss.

"me gusta tu camisa" he laughed, she was wearing the jersey he wore in the world cup.

(i like your shirt)

she smiled at him "callate tonto, mejor dame un besito".

 (shut up dumbass and give me a kiss)

they spent their night cuddling and y/n making gavi do a face mask. gavi missed her like crazy, he held her tight and very close to his chest. her scent was sweet, he missed kissing her neck and playing with her hair. y/n traced small shapes on his naked chest, he always slept without a shirt; due to him getting hot when he sleeps. she loved his hands, so firm yet delicate at times. she played with his rings, and looked up at him. he was peaceful, his brown wavy hair fluffed up and swooped to the side, his eyes gleamed.

"le mandamos una foto a pedri???" she asked him and he nodded.

(should we send pedri a picture?)

text messages

y/n: mira quien regresoooo (look who's back)

hermanito: esoooo mis padres!!!!! (my parents !!!)

they both smiled and laughed at pedri, both of them were glad that they fixed their problem. she knew it would have been awkward if they had broken up indefinitely. they didn't want to put pedri in the middle. the couple slept peacefully in eachothers arms and finally got a good rest. both intoxicated with love and their scents.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

a/n:

are ya'll liking my stories?

feedback is always welcomed!!

d <3

[butmakeitgayblog]

I shouldn’t speak on anyone else’s behalf, but I’d like to hear about the new angsty not-fake-dating au idea please

Ok 👀

Gonna preface this by saying Clarke's overall character in the first half is... questionable. But listen just, set that aside for a minute and think of Clexa and also endgame 😅

So I was thinking something along the lines of Lexa gets recruited by a friend of a friend of a friend/distant classmate/ad in the college paper? Idk, whatever. But anyway, someone she's not at all close with or really has any ties to, and she's basically hired to pretend to be this girl's girlfriend for a group vacation her and her friends are going on (She's a nice girl, but a lonely gay/bi in a group of party girls/ habitually dating girls who always have Someone™ dangling off their arm, but this girl does not. Always looked over, the eternally single friend, etc. You get the gist.) And Lexa's hot. And kind of intimidating. Has that whole smokey eyed badass, femme fatale aura about her. It's... a reach, but also kind of perfect because it'll make this girl look fantastic to her friends in the street cred department and also possibly give her confidence the little boost that it needed. And considering Lexa grew up the only gay in her town, and didn't grow into her very gangly and awkward body until senior year of high school, she gets what it's like to always be the one passed up. Plus she could use the cash. So she's more than down for this. Everything's great, right? Right.

Except for the fact that one of said girls on the trip is in fact, Clarke. Who does have her own date. Now, I can't quite decide if Clarke would know about the arrangement or not, but regardless, Clarke has always been the main one in the group who is this girl's cheerleader. Very "you're better than how you treat yourself. You deserve everything, and it's not fair that people don't see it. The right person will fall in love with you in an instant, believe me. You're worth it." Very that supportive friend. She's ride or die until the end.

Now, Lexa's technically "on the clock" so to speak the entire trip, which means she is laying on the charm thiccc af. It's not exactly a stretch by any means because she is naturally a doting girlfriend in relationships (when she has one), but ya know, she's giving this girl her money's worth. She wants her feel like a princess for the entire trip. Yes it's a job, but it's also nice just making a girl feel special when she's not used to it.

The only problem is... Clarke is also seeing all of this. All of Lexa's sweetness and all of her thoughtful actions. Her attentiveness and her softness beneath the edgy exterior. The little presents Lexa surpises her friend with, the way she remembers her friend's little quirks. Always remembering her food preferences, her favorite drinks. Lexa's got this girlfriend thing down to a science. She's just so goddamn thoughtful and charming to boot. And also hot. Can't forget hot. Like really, unfairly hot. But mostly it's the way she's so gentle and sweet.

The other issue is, Lexa sees that in Clarke too. She sees that out of everyone, Clarke is pretty much the only one who actually treats this girl with kindness and respect. Never talking down to her or placating her, never just treating her like an afterthought. Clarke is so damn sweet and thoughtful, beautiful and fiery sometimes to a fault. She's funny, and warm, and just... the entire package. She understands why Clarke is never single.

But. It quickly becomes A Problem™. Because it's in the moments that Lexa is trying very hard to just focus on her "job" that she constantly finds herself in Clarke's orbit. In the mornings when she's up early making ~her girl~ her fancy coffee, late at night when she's tinkering around in the kitchen making her a lil snackie snack so they can watch a movie before bed. Those stolen interacting becomes moments of them just talking, Clarke on the counter as they chat while Lexa feels her eyes on everything she does. Them lounging by the pool while the others run into town for supplies. Dinners out with Clarke sat close on one side,,, while the girl sits on the other.

And there's flirting. Way too much flirting whenever they're in private. Effortless flirting that Lexa isn't really aware of until it smacks her in the face that they're both just idiots smiling. But it's all very cloaked in joking and throwaway moments because, technically, they're both supposed to be attached.

And as most things are, everything is fine. Until it's not.

The whole situation comes to a boiling point when they just get lost in one of those moments. A night of too many drinks and way too much flirting, finding themselves entirely too close in their villa's bathroom. It feels dangerously like the period on the end of a sentence that was written the second they'd layed eyes on each other. Before they realize what they're doing, Lexa's hoisted Clarke up onto the bathroom counter, her fingers pumping between Clarke's legs. It's a heated rush of moans and licks to sex-sweetened skin, both grabbing at each other through messy kisses meant to leave bruises. Both way too far gone into the release of all the tension to realize that... Clarke's being kind of loud...

It's a fucking catastrophe after that because yeah, well, Clarke definitely just cheated. In front of everyone. Including her "boyfriend". Though granted she'd only been seeing the guy for like a month so it's... it's not as earth shattering for her as it could be. But the real issue, the real vomit inducing kick in the moral gut is that she's just ruined the entire facade for het friend. Made her a look fool in front of everyone. Basically fucked the entire thing up for this girl who had only wanted to feel like she fit in. Just once. It honestly makes her feel awful. It's not like she just accepts it and feels ok with it, she is thoroughly disgusted with herself.

Obviously Lexa returns the money, letting herself be branded a homewrecker and cheater rather than embarrassing this girl further with exposing the truth that they were never actually together. She can carry that stigma as long as it means she's not doing anything to hurt this girl worse. She's caused enough problems as it is.

In the end everyone goes home. Pissed off or hurt or with a new bit of gossip to tell. Clexa going their own separate ways, without a single other word to each other.

The girl never talks to Clarke again when they get home and despite Clarke's efforts to try and make amends, she doesn't blame her. It was the single worst fuck up she'd ever made in her life. Which is why she takes the time to stop dating altogether and start really working on herself. Because she didn't like the version of herself who would do something like that to anyone, much less her friend. Feelings or not. Tipsy or not.

Lexa also never hears from the friend again, though that is not even remotely a surprise after everything. But she still wishes she could have done something to make things right. Some gesture or, or... something to fix what she'd fucked up so royally. It's a guilt she carries with her for a long, long while.

Eventually though, a few years down the line when it's more just a distant memory that still stings but doesn't burn quite as bad as it used to, the friend reaches out to Clarke in the form of a very opulent and beautiful wedding invitation that says she's... getting married to the guy Clarke cheated on that weekend. Clarke doesn't want to go, at all, but kind of feels obligated because not only is this the first olive branch she's ever gotten from her old friend, but also like,,, tf??? You're marrying that guy?!??! What the hell happenesd??? So she's gotta go. She has to, just to make the final amends for what she did.

Which works out well because the girl is all smiles and that bubbly laughter that comes from real, true happiness. She seems so easy and free when she tells Clarke that she is total over it. That they'd found the love that they'd been searching for in each other while commiserating through the pain of that trip. "Eh. Burnt toast theory and all that," is how she puts it with a lift of her champagne in response to Clarke's very thought-out apology.

So it's good. It's not great, and it doesn't make up for what Clarke did, but at least she now knows that her friend is at peace with what happened.

And then aND THEN Clarke catches a glimpse of Lexa at one of the tables across the room. Looking awkward and unsure and still disrespectfully hot in her formal wedding attire. And her friend, in all of her wedded blissed out glory, is like "Oh right. So. Speaking of blasts from the past. I invited another old friend... You should go say hi."

With the bride's blessing, she does exactly that despite her absolute terror at the prospect of seeing Lexa again. They have drinks and reminisce over wedding cake about that fucking shitshow of a vacation, catching each other up on where they are in their lives now and how they've been. They talk about how stupid they were. How awful and, honestly, immature. But through their embarrassed commiseration and disgust with their past selves, they both carefully (and not so carefully) toe around the subject that while they both do regret the way it happened... neither actually regret that it did. Because the sex had meant something. Because the feelings were entirely real. Those late night talks and time spent together still mean something today. Even through the messiness and the people hurt in the aftermath, the connection had been real, and in the end it had always sort of felt like the other was 'the one who got away'. So, drinks turn into dancing, which turns into Lexa catching a ride home with Clarke in a designated cab. And before either of them know what's happening, it's Clarke that Lexa is making breakfast for in bed 👀

[kbug17]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COULD YOU DO A HOBIE X READER!!!

So reader has been noticing that hobie keeps talking about Gwen a lot, as well as hanging out with her, and she’s starting to compare her self to Gwen A LOT. Reader is getting shitty with the jealousy issues (BODY COMPARISON) and with how much Hobie and Gwen are hanging out unannounced. Gwen has started staying overnight with reader knowing, etc. and one night hobie catches them having a breakdown which starts an arguement, BUT IT ENDS IN FLUFF OLEASEHDJDJ

THANK YOU AND YOUVE BEEN MY FAVOURITE WRITER FOR A WHILEEE

I love this request!!! And thank you so much😘💖💖

Hobie Brown x Plus Size reader

It’s all about you Babe

Y/n and Hobie have been dating almost since y/n’s first day at spider society. You were recruited after becoming the dancing spider. Y/n was a trained dancer and has always had to deal with people’s shit about her being a plus size dancer and “how much better she could be if she lost weight”, but when she has the mask on its different. She could be herself and people saw her for more than her body. She is such a girly girl too. When Hobie saw her walking around spider society in her pink spider suit and pointe shoes, he was entranced with her and her curves, he was almost under a spell. He couldn’t help but approach her.

“Haven’t seen you ‘round here love”, he walks up next to her like he knows her or something. You look to see his tall, lanky frame next to yours and giggle “No, I suppose not. It’s my first day.” You see how attractive he is and you suck in your stomach. You’re used to attractive guys in your universe being sick heads. He notices and furrows his brows. “What’s that about, you sick or something lovey” you had to admit these names he was calling you were making you feel quite comfortable. His bluntness almost embarrassed you as you tried to think of an excuse, you had been caught. He wasn’t blind, he could tell you are chubby and he knows how society is. He gave you a soft look to let you know it’s okay. This helps you decide to be honest. “Well, I guess I didn’t want to give you a reason not to like me, it didn’t help much though, I’m still huge” you shrug your shoulders like it’s common knowledge. Hobie grabs your chin to look up at him. “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being bigger lovey. Between you and me and anyone else who wants to know I love curves. Plus, I heard your quite the badass and being a dancer and inspiring younger plus size girls to dance. That’s being a hero in its self sweetheart”, he pulls you into a passionate kiss after that. The rest was history. He introduced you to his friends, one of them being Gwen Stacy. She is a dancer just like you, super kind, and she’s a drummer. “She’s super cool”, you think to yourself. Unlike you, she is skinny and you notice how excited Hobie is for you two to meet. “You two’ll be great friends”, Hobie smiles.

It’s about two weeks until your birthday and you notice a sudden extra closeness in Gwen and Hobie. Gwen had become one of your best friends but it seems as if she’s been almost avoidant of you lately. She normally stays the night with you and Hobie on the weekends because she’s friends with both of you and you all have a great time. She comes over this weekend and you notice her and Hobie talking more than they are acknowledging you. Whenever you would enter a room, they would find some lame excuse to leave. This really hurt you. As you’ve gotten older and you’ve been with Hobie, you’ve slowly gotten over your insecurities of being “the fat girl”, or you thought until this started. “Obviously Gwen is just like me plus she’s skinny and more punk, maybe Hobie wants something new, someone who isn’t huge and disgusting like me. He probably just doesn’t have the heart to tell me”, you think to yourself and start poking at your body in the bathroom mirror. You breakdown in tears. You hear footsteps from down the hall and try to quiet your sobs.

“Ya alright in there love?” Hobie knocks on the door.

You try your best to sound like you’re not trying but your voice breaks when you speak, “I’m fine”

“No you’re not, imma coming in”

Before you can do anything Hobie opens the door to see you crying in the bathroom floor wearing only shorts and your bra. You’re shaking from crying and how cold you are.

“What’s got ya in here crying for?” Hobie looked concerned

“ I know you don’t want me anymore, I’ll leave so you can be with Gwen”, as you said this, it all clicked for him. At first, he was upset. Why would you think he would do that to you? Did you really think that low of him? Then he thought to himself. He knew you and he knew you had struggled with body image in the past. He knew how your grandma had body shamed you since you were 5 years old. Starting an argument would just upset you more and wouldn’t accomplish anything. Hobie decided the best way to help you is to talk it out instead of getting angry. He knew this wasn’t your fault.

“Baby no. I only want you. I know you get in your head. I know what this is all about..” he grabs your chin so you’re looking him dead in the eyes, “you’re it for me. If you want to know the truth, I’ve been hanging out with Gwen so much because I wanted to plan you the best birthday ever so I can show you what you mean to me”. He grabs your hand and helps you stand up so your infront of him. He hugs you from behind as you’re both facing the mirror and he’s resting his chin on your head. ��Look in that mirror baby. What do you see?” He asks you.

“Us and myself. I see my stomach poking out too much and I see you looking fucking hot”you say.

Hobie chuckled at the last bit but then his face turned serious. “You know what I see?” He kisses the top of your head. “I see my future, and you better know that means I love you because I’m not consistent for shit” he spins you around to face him. “I want you to know something babes, every flaw you see, is another reason why I love you. You’re perfect to me. I for one love your curves. Gives me more to love, more to hold, more to cherish.” He gets you to stop crying as his lips crash to yours and you all move to the bed ;)

P.S. I hope you enjoyed this. I’m sorry I’m not good at writing arguments

[gh0stsp1d3r]

Okay-

Hear me out…

Tangerine grounding his daughter for the first time because she used her hacking skills to help the Twins find the person they’ve been tracking (for them to… End them)

this would happen. Omg

“Not too sure your dads gonna like this..” Lemon mumbled as you typed away on the computer.

“Relaxxx… I know what I’m doing. I’ve done it tons of times to stalk people.”

“Wh- you know what, I don’t even wanna know.”

“Better if you don’t. It’s surprisingly easy, and everyone’s passwords are extremely easy. I mean this guys was literally password123.” You shrugged. It loaded up and you both waited.

“He’s currently… there.” You said, pushing a few more buttons and clicking on his location. You turned your chair to him, feet still on the desk.

“You’re a fuckin’… genius.” He said with a smile, patting your shoulder and taking your seat.

“So, Im getting my 30 dollars right?”

“Yeah, yeah, just go before your dad-“

“Before I what?” He stood at the doorway, arms folded and leaning against it.

You gulped and turned around.

“I was never here.” You said, trying to pass him when he grabbed your wrist.

He looked at the screen and nodded at Lemon.

“What’s that?”

“Oh, you know, it’s nothin’ really, mate-“ he tried to hide the screen.

“Really? Cause to me it looks like I caught ya both red fuckin’ handed. What have I said about-“

“Getting into people’s phones because if they find out I did it I’m in major trouble and could get hurt doing it.”

“So then why the fuck did you-“

“Hack into his phone?”

“Quit finishing my sentences!”

“Sorry.” You mumbled.

“Who’s location even is that..?” He looked to Lemon.

“It’s uh.. well you remember that guy we were fighting, that slipped away..?”

“Oh my god, you fucking kidding me? He’s fuckin’ extremely-“

“Extremely dangerous, why would you do that?” You mocked him.

“He’s not dangerous, he’s jus’ fucking slippery.. but yes!”

“Cause it looked like you guys were struggling.. clearly. It’s been like what, a week or two?”

“Three.” Lemon corrected, Tangerine glared at him.

“Whatever. You’re- you’re fuckin’ grounded. You… come on.” He sighed, looking at Lemon.

“What?! Grounded?! I’ve never been grounded- the fuck you mean grounded?!”

“Language. And I mean you’re stayin’ in that damn room and thinking about-“

“The consequences your actions have-“

“Quit mocking me!” He slammed the front door.

“Jesus, the anger issues on that man.” You rolled your eyes, and went into the living room anyways.

“I see you.” Tangerines voice said suddenly, you jumped and fell off the couch.

“Wh- the fuck?! I didn’t know you had fuckin’ cameras.”

“Everywhere except the bedrooms and bathrooms.” He said, rolling his eyes.

“Good, because I’d rather not have you see me in the shower. I sing a lot.” You mumbled under your breath, and went to your room.

“Whatever. Jus’ stay in the damn room unless you need to fuckin’ take a piss or your starving.”

you flopped onto your bed and sighed.

“This is what I get for being so badass.” You huffed.

[hatereadings]

Throne of Glass

So I first found out about this series because these ACoTaR recaps I was reading mentioned that Sarah J Maas had a previous fantasy series that came out, and the protagonist was an assassin who didn't even kill anyone in the first book. You can check out the recaps here, if you're interested in other people's hate-reads.

The author of those recaps was so appalled by ACoTaR that she's probably never going to read another SJM book, which means that the burden of recapping them has sadly fallen to... well, people who enjoyed the recaps in general, but I think I'm the only one actually willing to do this to myself.

So, here goes! I'm going to start with Throne of Glass, because it was published first, but actually mainly because it's the most readily available at my library (If I have to return it, I might switch to The Assassin's Blade for a bit).

The dedication page is

To all my readers from FictionPress--for being with me at the beginning and staying long after the end. Thank you for everything.

This honestly made me curious enough to look things up, and, whaddya know, this book was originally a story on FictionPress! In 2012, peak fandom, so... credit where it's due, clearly some of us who were on FictionPress back then felt catered to.

That reminds me - I know these books are intended for teenage girls, and I'm going to do my best to respect that and view them from that lens. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that audience or what they need or want to be reading at that time in their lives.

That said, even WITH that caveat, there's going to be a lot of shit to talk about, so buckle up.

Chapter 1

RIGHT AWAY, I have issues with the worldbuilding.

After a year of slavery in the Salt Mines of Endovier, Celaena Sardothien was accustomed to being escorted everywhere in shackles and at sword-point. Most of the thousands of slaves in Endovier received similar treatment--though an extra half-dozen guards always walked Celaena to and from the mines.

How on EARTH is this economical?! If someone is genuinely SO DANGEROUS that they need SIX GUARDS to accompany them everywhere -- how does it make ANY sense to put them to work in a mine?!?!?!

I'm going to ignore the fact that a white author is writing about slavery, because... it was 2012; a lot of us are guilty of Spartacus fanfic. We know better now, is the important part.

That was to be expected by Adarlan's most notorious assassin.

Okay. Some people have pointed out in the past that it doesn't make sense for assassins to be famous. I think that's something that's safe to gloss over in this sort of YA, though. I mean, what teenage girl hasn't wanted to be some kind of universally feared physical badass, whether that's an assassin or a mercenary or a serial killer? It's fine.

Still, if she's really so dangerous and such a Big Deal, then... again, why is she in the mines??? Why isn't she in an impenetrable cell somewhere??? You're literally paying SIX EXTRA full-time workers just to stand around watching her when they could be used to do, idk, anything else? Guarding the royal family, guarding the treasury, going to war against your enemies? This is like... Kingsguard level of security. Not something you'd want to spend on a prisoner.

There's a "hooded man in black" walking next to her. Does this sound like an executioner, or is that just me?

Apparently they take an unnecessarily circuitous route, going around and around in circles because the guy in charge... idk, wants to disorient Celaena? Even though she's been living there for a year? I really hope the people guarding her are supposed to be idiots, so she can seem like a badass genius in comparison; if this is the level of intelligence we're working with throughout the book, I don't know what's going to sustain me through this read.

The guy in the hood apparently introduced himself as Chaol Westfall, Captain of the Royal Guard, and she overheard that when she first saw him. Which might've been nice to include when we, the readers, first see him, but whatever. Apparently he's hiding his face from her to try and intimidate her, which has "five-year-old-boy-tries-to-scare-you-by-donning-a-frankenstein-mask" energy.

Celaena doesn't know why he's come to get her. She notices that her clothes are nearly rags and that her skin is dirty, and reflects that she used to be beautiful. Again, this feels more like YA convention than an actual, realistic response someone would have to being forced to mine salt for a year. Like, I can get having that response to suddenly seeing a bunch of non-miners and feeling the contrast between their clean clothes and your filthy rags, but having that just pop up idly while you're walking around your prison? It's a very hamfisted way of trying to stick in a bit of physical description at the beginning. And we get a full physical description later on, so why even bother?

"You're a long way from Rifthold, Captain," she said, clearing her throat. "Did you come with the army I heard thumping around earlier?" She peered into the darkness beneath his hood but saw nothing. Still, she felt his eyes upon her face, judging, weighing, testing. She stared right back. The Captain of the Royal Guard would be an interesting opponent. Maybe even worthy of some effort on her part.

Personally I would have added a line break after that quote, but that might just be a stylistic choice. I don't really have any bones to pick with the writing here; it seems like this is serving the wish fulfillment that a lot of the target audience really wants - a protagonist so deadly that no one is any match for them. Maybe for a more jaded audience, they'd think, "Mary Sue," and toss the book aside, but we embrace earnest enthusiasm here.

Oh, it'd be nice to see his blood spill across the marble.

Please don't tease. I know there isn't going to be any murder in this book. I can't take the false hope.

She'd lost her temper once before--once, when her first overseer chose the wrong day to push her too hard. She still remembered the feeling of embedding the pickax into his gut, and the stickiness of his blood on her hands and face. She could disarm two of these guards in a heartbeat. Would the captain fare better than her late overseer? Contemplating the potential outcomes, she grinned at him again. "Don't you look at me like that," he warned, and his hand drifted back toward his sword.

Wait, what? The killer -- actually kills someone?! Okay, offscreen, but still. This is... not quite the clusterfuck I was warned about!

Still, I'm 2% into this book. It has a lot of room to decay.

They passed a series of wooden doors that she'd seen a few minutes ago. If she wanted to escape, she simply had to turn left at the next hallway and take the stairs down three flights. The only thing all the intended disorientation had accomplished was to familiarize her with the building. Idiots.

Celaena gets annoyed when Chaol won't talk to her, which is... kind of dumb? I mean, did you expect him to? You guys are enemies. Just keep up a one-sided banter like a normal prisoner and stop complaining.

She contemplates escape some more, then decides that it'd be too much trouble, so she'll wait. It's very convenient that all the guards are idiots; they've been walking so long that Celaena has the opportunity to infodump some worldbuilding on us. We learn that the kingdom they're in is called Adarlan, and it sends poor people, criminals, and "latest conquests" into the salt mines of Endovier, which looks something like the jail in Les Mis, with misery and whips cracking and all the stereotypical nonsense. Again, this is from over a decade ago; this shit would not fly today. That's not how you handle a discussion of slavery in this country.

Adarlan has banned magic, and anyone accused of practicing gets sent to Endovier.

Eyllwe is apparently a country that's at war with Adarlan, still resisting its rule, and any captured Eyllwe folks also get sent to Endovier. Okay, so... I know Rome did this too, but this is sounding less like Rome and more like Nazi Germany, with the work camps for prisoners. Maas is apparently of Jewish descent, so I'm not going to weigh in on whether that's a problem.

Celaena mentions that she was "betrayed and captured" one night and sent to this place, and then pivots to thinking about whether she's finally going to be executed. I mean, it would make sense; those 6 guards' paychecks have probably cost the crown a tidy amount over the past year.

At last, they stopped before a set of red-and-gold glass doors so thick that she couldn't see through them.

That is a ridiculously fancy door for a mine. Why.

They try to pull Celaena through, she's convinced they're here to kill her and resists, but they pull her in anyway. Uhhhh... what happened to

She could disarm two of these guards in a heartbeat.

?

I remember the inconsistency in ACoTaR. Wasn't expecting it to show up so early here, though.

A glass chandelier shaped like a grapevine occupied most of the ceiling, spitting seeds of diamond fire onto the windows along the far side of the room.

Okay, that's actually a really pretty description. I'd go as far as to say that 'spitting seeds of diamond fire' is genuinely a good turn of phrase. That said...

WHY IS THIS IN A SALT MINE?!?!?!?!

Compared to the bleakness outside those windows, the opulence felt like a slap to the face. A reminder of how much they profited from her labor.

Ah. For symbolism.

In case you were wondering, no, that's not a good enough reason. It makes no sense with the worldbuilding. Why on earth would ANYONE choose to build something so fancy here. Nobody just spends their time thinking, "I'm feeling very evil today. What exceptionally evil project can I spend a great deal of money on to show off just how evil I am? I know! I'll build an opulent room next to a slave pit!"

Also? Nobody is profiting from your labor, Celaena. I don't know how much salt costs, but every day you work costs your overseers a day's wages for each of SIX GUARDS. I don't think there's much profit being turned here.

The captain shoves her in, there's more guards, and then

On an ornate redwood throne sat a handsome young man. Her heart stopped as everyone bowed.

Ah. The love interest.

She was standing in front of the Crown Prince of Adarlan.

And that's the chapter hook!

Two questions:

How did they get the throne in there? I can't tell if it's more ridiculous if they literally had to build a new fancy room with a throne when they heard the prince was coming, or if the prince's entourage carries a giant throne with him wherever he goes so he can sit in it, OR if every single building in Adarlan has to have a Throne Room of sufficient grandeur just in case the Crown Prince decides to stop by. There's just no good explanation for this. (Although from a different perspective, there are only good explanations for this)

We literally just heard an infodump about how Adarlan is a toxic power. Are they really trying to make it believable that one of the leaders of this country is a decent enough dude to be a love interest?

So far, this feels like even more of a mess than ACoTaR was. I'm curious to know if that gets any better over the course of this book, or if it's somehow all downhill from here.

[klbwriting]

Not Romeo, Not Juliet

Chapter 6 - Life's Key

Fandom: Red Hood

Pairing: Jason Todd x f!reader

Warnings: none, this is just friendship building fluff

Summary: Jason goes to meet YN at the playground

Keep thy friend / Under thy own life’s key.

— ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL, ACT 1 SCENE 1

Jason spent most of Saturday getting new gear together. He wasn’t going to let one run in with some thugs stop him from keeping Crime Alley, or just YN in general, safe. He needed to update somethings, get a kit he could keep on him at all times, and get something sturdier than an old hockey mask. He called around, finding some grappling equipment, smoke bombs, a couple knives, and finally a helmet that he could wear that would protect his whole head. It took about 2 hours to gather everything and hide it in the garage where Dick wouldn’t go looking. And Dick was a suspicious fuck at the moment.

“So, this fight, was it the same jock again?” Dick asked over breakfast on Sunday morning after spending all Saturday at a work function and just generally avoiding Jason. He assumed that Dick was waiting for him to come to his big brother to talk, but after his disparaging remarks against YN Jason didn’t really want to do that.

“Yup,” he said, emphasizing the p. Dick sighed at the curt answer, so Jason elaborated, having had time to flesh out this story. “I was leaving school after practice, they were leaving after some football thing, guess they still keep going even though the season is over, and the one from before threw his helmet at me, that is where this is from.” He motioned to the bandage on his face. Dick worried his jaw, looking like a cow chewing grass.

“And you didn’t go to the hospital?” Dick asked. Jason stared at him. When had any of them ever gone to a hospital? Jason was pretty sure he was still considered legally dead in some places. Dick sighed. “Ya, that was dumb, realized that when I said it.” They sat in silence for several minutes, Jason pushing Dick’s horrible eggs around on his plate.

“I’m going to run lines tonight with some of the seniors from Hamlet,” he said, wanting to make the concerned look on Dick’s face go away. Let him think he had made friends with those assholes. “Thought you weren’t big fans of them after that whole open mic night prank?” he asked. Jason shrugged.

“I’m not, but they’re fine to work with on the play, plus there’s this junior playing Gertrude who is pretty, she’s going to be there,” he said. He wasn’t lying, the junior was pretty, but he had no interest in her. Plus, there wasn’t really a practice session going on that night anyway, he just needed an excuse to be out of the house that night.

“What is she like?” Dick asked. Shit, Jason hadn’t expected this. He scrambled.

“Um, she’s pretty, blonde, kind of a badass, carries a dagger, likes the Yankees, ya know, weird in a school full of douche bags,” he said, describing as best he could to describe Annabeth from the Percy Jackson series. If you going to describe a fictional crush might as well pull a real book girlfriend you wish you’d had. Dick nodded.

“Sounds like your type,” he said, smiling. “Glad you’ve found someone in your school.” Jason kept his face neutral but was confused. He never thought Dick was the classist type, but maybe that was why he was so against Jason spending time with YN. Would be a real dick move considering that Jason himself was once from that same gutter. Just because he got lucky (or stupid) and stole a couple tires didn’t mean he was anything better than YN. She was going to Gotham Academy for a reason, scholarship or maybe an arts grant if her acting was as good as her singing, so she definitely wasn’t just a random person on the street. None of this made sense to Jason and that made him angry.

“I have to do some homework, I’m going to head out, its stuffy in here,” he said, throwing a look to Dick. Dick looked confused but just nodded. Jason grabbed his back of tricks and his phone, checking again for another message from YN as he headed to the garage. She had sent the one message to meet and then stopped, not even confirming she’d gotten his reply. He wanted to go check on her, but once again, he wasn’t going to be a stalker, so he went to a nearby park instead.

After several hours of actually catching up on homework and reading through The Turn of the Screw for a lit class he let curiosity get the better of him. He pulled out his laptop again and booted up some of the software that Dick thought he didn’t know about. Nightwing needed to find people, and Oracle knew all the tricks, so Jason copied Dick’s hard drive and took them. Red Mask (name to be changed, that one still sucked) needed to find criminals too. He searched up YN’s name and found…nothing. She had a mother, no father listed, an address, no social media, no outstanding warrants, no bills even. The only person who had anything was her mother, who had ridiculous medical bills, but no rent to pay. Jason frowned. This screamed a mysterious benefactor. Who was helping them and why? He looked at his phone, seeing that he needed to head over to the playground, so he closed up shop and headed off, making sure to pick up some tacos on the way.

YN was sitting at the top of the slide when he arrived, climbing down the dumbwaiter shaft that used to seem a lot bigger when he was small. She smiled when she saw him, but quickly pretended to yawn, not looking in his direction anymore. He smiled a little, maybe he wasn’t the only one with a crush. She looked at her phone before sliding down.

“You’re late,” she said, crossing her arms. He held up the bag. “What is that?”

“Tacos?” he offered, holding it out to her. She opened it and moved to where her things were, sitting down on a blanket. “Thought we could eat first, and these are the best in Bludhaven.” She took one and handed him back the bag, producing two water bottles from her bag and cookies.

“My mom sometimes bakes on good days,” she said. Jason looked at the cookies and then at her, a questioning look on his face. He knew her mom was sick, but she didn’t know that. “My mom is sick, cancer, but some days she’s really active and today was one so I just thought I’d bring a snack…”

“Thank you,” Jason said, taking a cookie and biting it. He made a face. O these were amazing. “Holy shit.” She laughed.

“Ya, that’s typically the reaction,” she said, eating some of the taco. “Jesus, these are good too.”

“Ya, but I didn’t make those, although mine would be better,” he said. She gave him a quizzical look. “Hey, I cook a lot, when I lived with Bruce we had Alfred and he taught me everything I know.”

“Was he like the in-house chef?” she asked, finishing one and grabbing another as he chowed on the cookies. Jason shrugged.

“He was kind of everything. We didn’t have like a big staff or anything, just Alfred, everyone else came once a week or something to do cleaning or the gardens and shit,” he said. “Fuck I sound like such an ass.” YN shook her head.

“No, you don’t, that’s what you lived, you’re not an ass about it. Not like you’re bragging that you made this Alfred clean your dirty underwear or something. He taught you to cook, that’s nice,” she said. Jason smiled at her. “Now, how are your rehearsals going?”

“Trying to spy on the competition?” he asked. She raised her eyebrows at him. “They’re fine, although pretending to even Chelsea is difficult.” She laughed and pulled out MacBeth. “How are yours?”

“They’re fine, I’m having some trouble though, do you mind pretending to be my husband?” she asked. He chuckled.

“You ask me that without a ring?” he teased, walking over to her, taking the script she offered. Scene 1, Act 7. “Remember, I have only read this so my MacBeth will probably suck.”

“You can’t be any worse than the guy playing him at school,” she said. Jason nodded and let himself slid into the roll of the king tortured by destiny. YN was amazing as Lady MacBeth, and then Ophelia, or Horatio, or Polonius, she was a chameleon. After an hour or so of practicing they sat on the swings, competing to see who could jump off further. Then it was tag around the playground. Jason hadn’t let himself have fun like this since…well since he was playing there as a child. They finally settled back on the blanket sitting and leaning against each other.

“You’re amazing you know that?” he said suddenly, looking down at her leaning to his shoulder. “And just because you’re the best actress I’ve ever seen.” She blushed deeply.

“Thank you,” she said, taking the compliment easily. He watched her as she stared straight ahead, not looking at him. “You’re so flawless when you act,” she said softly. “Its like you can just sink into being another person, it’s a little scary honestly.” Jason sighed.

“When I was living with Bruce it was like I had to be two different people. He was most of the time an alright dad, but when he was in a mood, mostly when he was trying to teach me something, I had to be like a perfect son, a little carbon copy of him. It was like slipping into a mask, hiding who I was or who I wanted to be,” he explained, telling her things he’d only ever told his therapist. “And then I died…” He stopped and she looked at him.

“You…died?” she asked softly. He sighed.

“Yea, this past summer, the um accident I had, I died for a few minutes and it wasn’t Bruce’s fault, but I think afterwards he just, wasn’t right. Didn’t want to bother with my antics anymore. It broke something so now I’m still just trying to figure out who I was when I was his son and who I am now,” he said. “And Dick has been great, trying so hard to be a good brother and almost father, but even with him, I have to wear a mask still. The only person I really feel like I can be me around is you.” He felt a hand on his unbandaged cheek, he leaned into it.

“I feel similar,” YN said. Jason nodded for her to continue. “My mom, I have to be brave, even though she’s going to die, and soon, and I don’t have anyone else. I don’t know who my father is, we have no other family that knows I exist. Apparently, my mom was still a teenager and had some kind of affair with a married man. And despite the fact that she was raped by an adult her family blamed her so now its just us. And when I’m around her I have to be perfect, like after the open mic when those guys threw water balloons of Kool-Aid at me and I was covered in red sticky goo pretty much, when I got home, I had to pretend everything had been amazing so that she wouldn’t get sicker from stressing out about me. I don’t really have anyone to talk about that stuff with.” Jason turned her face to look at him.

“You have me,” he said softly. She nodded and, in that moment, he could have kissed her, could have taken another step, but he could see that wasn’t what either of them needed. At that moment they didn’t need the romance that was there, they needed the friendship that was also there, just as important and just as powerful. He pulled her into a hug, holding her close for several minutes until his phone went off.

“My brother wants me home to get some sleep,” he said. She nodded. “Let me walk you home.”

“Sure,” she said. She stood, taking his hand. He held it as he walked her back to her apartment. “Are you going to be safe?” she asked.

“Ya, my bike is just down the street actually,” he said, pointing towards an alley nearby. “So, I don’t want to stress your mom out, but maybe I could come to your place next time?” She nodded.

“And if you ever want to, you can come to mine too,” he said. “If you ever get over to Bludhaven.” She smiled and leaned up, kissing his cheek over the bandage gently.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow?” He nodded and watched her get inside before driving home, feeling several pounds lighter and freer than he had in years.

[maddys-nerd-blog]

ITS RESCUE TIME FELLAS

Only this is gonna have to be a two partner cuz apparently this was too long so I edited this to split into two parts 😅😂

This is the one I’ve been most excited to share!! We get more Danny and Leo bonding, and we catch a glimpse of Danny’s past trauma with his own father that led him down the slippery slope of crime. I really wanted to establish the father-son bond that grows between these two in the final installment of the Familia story. I feel like over the grand course of the story, it’s Danny’s fatherly bond with Leo that grows the strongest, much like Mondo’s bond with Katie. Also I am NOT a fan of Rise Splinter, can you tell 🤣

General warnings of torture, blood, heavy cursing and violence!

NOW ON WITH THE STORY!!!

Ransom 4.5

A TMNT Crossover Short Story Fanfic

Part Four: Ultimatum

Three days passed before Danny knew it. Three full days of being stuck in this stuffy room with nothing to do but sit in a chair and stare at the same walls he’d been looking at this whole time. And three days of boredom that sapped him of all energy— he didn’t know how much longer he’d have the patience to count every crack and crevasse in the ceiling or hum ‘One hundred bottles of rum on the wall.’ Being tethered to one place for hours at a time didn’t help his already weary bones or bruised ribs. Danny’s arms yearned for freedom— they were stiff as a board, bones rigid, muscles tense, aching from being bound all day. His head was pounding nonstop, stress and anxiety festering throughout his brain. He was irritated and tired. He was hungry. He was exhausted.

But at least Leo was providing conversation.

“—and then Mom flipped the guy into the table like a WWE star!” Leo laughed. “It broke in half like a toothpick! She knocked his lights out! Pretty sure he had a hernia too.”

“Did she?”

“Yeah, but her comeback was weak! She was like, ‘I watch Jackie Chan on the regular!’ It was so lame! I could’ve thought of better!”

“Oh yeah? Tell me then. What would you have said?”

“Uuuuh… oh! ‘Better watch your fall!’ Or ‘Get dunked on!’”

Danny snorted, stifling a laugh. “Get dunked on? Really?”

“What? That’s such a badass line! I should know! I come up with cool taglines all the time!”

“Then ya gotta find yerself some new material. Ya sound like one of th’ Three Stooges.”

“I’m actually not offended by that. They were geniuses.”

He smirked. “They were. Best of th’ best, if I had a say so.”

“Do you like any other kind of comedy?”

“What kind we talkin’ about? Chaplin or Sandler?”

“UUUUUGH WHY DO OLD PEOPLE BRING UP CHAPLIN?”

“Hey! I’ll have you know Chaplin was a MASTER at comedy, there will never be anyone like him in our lifetime. Also, again, I ain’t old!”

“How old are you?”

“Forty-three!”

“I rest my case!”

The kid knew how to make him laugh despite everything, that was certain. Leo was true to his word about being a chatterbox— he didn’t know how to stop once the ball got rolling, rambling about adventures they’d gone on in Danny’s absence. It gave them something to do instead of wallowing in silence if the gags had been bound back in place. He was grateful for the conversation. It was helping him stay sane. Chatting about anything other than their current situation was better than stewing in the bitter quiet of this rickety building or continue to count cracks in the floor.

“What’s so funny?”

“Just— haha! Jesus, kid, ya really know how t’ make people laugh!” Danny cackled. “Yer Ma must love your jokes!”

“She does! She calls me ‘bromista’ but I’m not far enough in my Spanish to know what it means.”

Danny paused to catch his breath, ears twitching at the word. Straightening in his chair he translated. “Prankster. It means prankster.”

“You know Spanish?!” He could almost hear the excitement in Leo’s smile. “Wait, do you know it fluently or are you also learning?”

“M’ still learning. Italian’s more my style. Kat’s taught me enough t’ hold a conversation,” Danny tried to turn to properly look at his fellow captive but the ropes binding his torso sank into his chest, causing him to flinch. Mother fuckers. Pushing the pain aside he decided to continue. “She been teaching ya long?”

Leo hummed, thinking. “For about a year. I think Casey’s the only one who’s been making progress though, but I think it’s cheating cuz he’s been learning it already since he’s the only one who goes to school.” The slider tried to look at the yōkai, this time with eyes that shined with interest. “Hey, do you think Mom gives all of us different nicknames?”

Danny grinned. “I don’t see why not. She gives me all kinds of names.”

Snorting with bemusement, Leo asked “Like what? Cheese addict?”

Laughing softly at the jab Danny shook his head. “Not all th’ time. I’ll give ya points for creativity. She usually calls me Amor or Corazon.”

“Corazon… that one means heart, right?”

“Mm-hm. Amor means love.”

This caused Leo to giggle. Danny could see his shoulders start shaking from laughter. “You guys are so corny.”

“I’ll take corny over ‘cheese addict.’” Danny lightly teased.

“I thought you liked my puns!”

“I do, but cheese addict is a bit overplayed in my world. Ya got any fresh material?”

“Well, other than rodent based jokes I’m all out. If Don-Tron were here he’d…”

When the slider went quiet, Danny became confused. Momentarily he wondered if he’d said something wrong or hurt his feelings. That hadn’t been his intention. He looked over his shoulder to gauge if the kid was alright. “Everything okay?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah. Just… lost in thought I guess.” Leo responded, his voice turning flat. “Haven’t been missing this long before.”

Ya shouldn’t be missing at all, Danny thought with sympathy. Clearing his throat he spoke again. “Homesick?”

Leo paused. Three minutes went by before he answered in an even quieter voice. “… yeah.”

“Try telling me about your family, your real one. We came from the same dimension, right? Ya mentioned ya got brothers? A Dad?”

Leo went quiet again.

“Kid? C’mon, talk t’ me, don’t let yourself stew in those bad thoughts. It’ll kill your motivation.”

The slider was still for a minute, holding his tongue. Contemplating over what he was going to say next, Leo took a deep breath to better compose himself, then decided to try, “I do. An older brother, a little brother, and a twin. He’ll never admit it though. Back home we always try to stop crime and do some good in the city. There’s a human we’ve known since we were little, her name is April. She’s basically like a sister to me. I go to her for fashion advise, we bail her out of mischief: a win-win scenario! Sometimes we go out on the town just to cause trouble. Mike’s an incredible artist; he redid the entire lair with all this killer graffiti. Don’s always building something that could get him arrested and I pick on him for it, but…” he paused, tone getting lighter as if remembering his family fondly. “He’s probably the only person that understands me most days. They’re probably wondering where the hell I am. They probably think I got eaten by the Krang… if they haven’t been thinking that already.” He slumped into his chair, shoulders shaking slightly. “My Pops… he wouldn’t even notice I’m gone.”

“Ya can’t believe that,” Danny’s brows shot up, shocked. “Don’t you and your Dad get along?”

Leo’s staggering silence caused Danny to stare at the teen with gnawing empathy. “Leo… do you and your father not talk?”

“… I don’t have much of a relationship with my Dad.”

If nothing else got to him, Danny was damn well sure that did.

“I mean… my big brother is more of a father to me. Pops never did anything with me growing up. I can only think of one or two times he actually remembered which one I was. Everything else was just Raph taking care of us when our dad forgot we existed. Don’t get me wrong, there were good times here and there. But ninety percent of my life my own father pretended we weren’t there. We weren’t his problem.” Leo sounded so downtrodden it broke Danny’s heart. “Raph made sure we were fed, that we had enough to eat, that our home was safe when Pops wasn’t awake to check, that none of us got left out. I was such an ungrateful idiot to him about everything before I ruined our lives by freeing the Krang. ‘When are you going to start trusting me?’ That was the last thing I said to him before…”

Danny remained quiet, letting the teen vent. But things took a turn when the slider started to get emotional; he’d begun choking up. “I just… damn it. It’s all my fault our world got wrecked by the Krang! I was so selfish and ignorant, I almost got my brothers killed! I made it about myself and my ego when I should’ve put my brothers and our home first! Things never would’ve gotten so bad if I didn’t screw up. Just like back home. Just like in space when we got captured by Zanramon, just like when Mom told me not to go out to the surface, just like Raph back at the lair. I don’t ever learn. My dad was right… all I do is screw everything up. If you never chased after me you wouldn’t be here. I…” Leo’s voice began to tremble, a sob squeaking out miserably. “I’m so sorry I got you into this. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you.”

Silence took hold of him in wake of the kid’s weeping. What could one say to such a raw confession? Leo was young— only fifteen. How did he carry all this tremendous weight on his back? How could anyone let him do this to himself? How could his father not be there for his kid? He’d only known the teen for the better part of a year, but he’d already sacrifice his life for him. To think that this boy’s father wouldn’t do the same…? After all he’d done to prove himself?

Sour memories of his own childhood came to mind; Of a daunting presence towering over him as a boy, lecturing, scolding, half-empty bottle of cheap wine in hand. Hollow eyes staring right through him with bare hatred. A scowling face that almost looked like Danny’s, only his was more callous, detached from the young rat he’d carelessly neglected. It was an image that made him bristle, his fingers clenched into fists. Without thinking he spoke to break the silence. “I don’t have a good relationship with my Father either.”

Leo sniffled, the chair and his ropes creaking from a slight shift in movement as he attempted to look at the yōkai. “Y-you don’t…?”

“Nah.” Danny shook his head. “My father and I never had a stable relationship when I was your age. Ma passed when I turned twelve and it broke something in him. Told me I looked too much like her t’ ever speak t’ me. I didn’t wanna go into th’ family business, so he resented me for it. I always had bad role models growing up— I wanted t’ be like Clyde Barrow. I wanted t’ be rich and live a life where I had control of myself, be what I wanted. Truth be told I used t’ dream about bein’ a performer, one of those Fred Alastair types. My father never understood. Said I was delusional. Especially when I told him I was getting hired by Big Mama t’ make it big,” he scoffed under his breath, a light smirk playing at his lips with mirth. “He just about blew a gasket. Told me I was an embarrassment, I wasn’t th’ son he raised, I was better off dead than working for th’ competition. He told me ‘If yer gonna make this family look bad, ya ain’t welcome here.’ So… I left. And I never looked back.”

Leo, having grown silent to let Danny finish his story, sniffled as he piped up, “How old were you?”

“Seventeen.”

“… how long has it been since you saw him?”

“In person? Thirty-six years.”

Danny could almost feel the empathetic eyes of the slider peering over his shoulder. He didn’t need to look at Leo’s face to know that he was stunned. “I’m so sorry…”

“Isn’t a big deal t’ me.” Danny reassured. “I knew it was coming so I wasn’t too upset.” A somber chuckle escaped from him over the thought. “It made me laugh afterwards.”

“But…” Leo’s arms twisted around, trying to move, wanting to better look the man in the eye. “Did you ever regret it?”

He shook his head. “I kinda knew when I left that he wouldn’t give a damn once I was gone. He never made th’ effort t’ phone me or look for me. It was a part of myself I had to let go of if I wanted t’ move on. There were times where I thought I could give him a call, but… I’d get cold feet.” Danny sighed, long and hard, giving a small shake of his head to clear the resentment. “I found a better family in all of you, anyway.”

“I probably ain’t th’ best person t’ take advice from given my record, but I know one thing.” Danny looked back at the kid, trying to offer a kind smile. “Yer stronger than yer dad if he don’t see how important ya are t’ yer brothers.” When Danny didn’t get a reply straight away, he continued. “Ya wanna know something? When I met Kat, she would talk ‘bout how proud she was of her boys. She would tell me everything about th’ kids she was looking after. How brave and adventurous they were, how they kept fighting even when th’ odds were stacked against them, how they saved her from herself.”

“… she really talked about us that much…?”

“‘Course!” Danny twisted himself around as best he could manage, the ropes biting and pulling stubbornly into his arms from the motions. “You guys are th’ center of her world! It’s nothing but high praise! I could write up an entire novel’s worth of compliments she gives you. Ya might not realize it but yer mom loves all of you so, so much. If ya asked her for a thousand bucks she’d bring you diamonds. Ya ask her for a house, she’d buy you a castle. I bet if she could, she’d hang th’ moon and stars for you. All she wants is t’ make you happy.” The yōkai grinned, recalling the pride in Katie’s smile when she told him about the kids, about their achievements and their accomplishments. If there was any mother in the world that could be more proud of her children, she’d be the living example.

Leo giggled, a small sob stifled behind it. He swallowed, hesitating, gathering himself to properly breathe. “I-I didn’t think… I didn’t know we mattered this much to her.”

“You kidding?” Danny couldn’t help the incredulous tone in his voice. “I won’t be surprised if she breaks th’ doors down t’ this place t’ get you back. If there’s one thing we both know ‘bout Katie, it’s that she’ll stop at nothing t’ bring ya home. She’s gonna be here soon.”

The slider spared a small glimpse over his shoulder to look at the man, eyes beginning to dry. Gratitude painted his features as the grin on his face warbled. “… thank you, Dan.”

Danny offered the kid a gentle nod. “No problem.”

They sat in relative silence for five minutes. Leo started breathing easier, much to his relief. The turtle slowly raised his head, looking up as best he could to meet Danny’s gaze with a genuine grin. “Mom really cares about you too.”

Danny chuckled softly. “I know she does.”

“You love her?”

Danny’s smile turned softer. “With all I have.”

“… what’s it like? To be loved?”

There was no true way to properly convey his befuddlement. He never imagined he’d have this kind of conversation with anyone, let alone the kid he was looking after. It was a complicated topic depending on the person… and not everyone understood the gravity of it. Knew what it meant. Knew how powerful it could be.

So, with that in mind, Danny leaned back in his chair with a puff of air escaping him. “Sheesh… how do I explain? It’s… freeing, I guess. When ya find th’ person or people that accept all o’ who ya are as a human, mutant, yōkai, whatever… when ya find that connection with them, keep them close and never let them go… ya feel like th’ mystery of life is solved. It don’t gotta be romantic either. Platonic is th’ same. Bein’ loved by yer partner is one thing, but when a parent loves their kid…” the image of Katie hugging all her boys with one fell swoop of her arms, clutching them all tight, laughing as they returned the grand gesture instantly popped into his head. “They’ll die for them if it means they’re gonna be okay.”

Leo turned as best he could to look at the yōkai, teary eyed with a small, hopeful grin. “You think… I’m… worth being loved?”

“Kid,” Danny gave him a reassuring nod. “You’ve got a helluva family that loves you more than anything already. You’re pretty damn lucky t’ have them.”

“… hey, Dan?” Leo chirped.

“Hm?”

“… is it weird if I say you’re more of a father figure than my real dad?”

In three seconds, his heart sputtered with an emotion he hadn’t known in ages.

Danny thought he’d heard it all. He’d had all kinds of labels thrown at him over the decades. Freak. Animal. Thug. Hoodlum. Monster. Bastard… failure. His entire life he never thought he’d be the one to get out. Get away from his past. Clean the slate, stare anew, make something of himself. Hell, he never dreamed he would be in a place where a woman loved him, where her tsudo-kids accepted him, where he belonged in this ragtag group of people. Ever since he’d left Mama’s gang he thought there’d be nothing else for him out there. Nothing but cheap booze, a circus or a pauper’s grave.

But this…?

This, here, where this kid needed a stable father-figure in his life after his own let him down?

After he’d been hurt so often that he didn’t HAVE that kind of support?

… what kind of a man would he be if he were to repeat his old man’s mistake?

“No.” Came his steadfast response. He prayed Leo couldn’t hear how thick with tears his voice was. “No it ain’t.”

Behind him Leo went still, sobs trickling into a gentle rhythm of breathing. Despite growing quiet the slider seemed more at ease. Settled. Calm. Then his hand grabbed onto his fingers, holding on for dear life. “Thanks,” Leo murmured in the darkness. “For everything.”

His fingers gripped the mutant’s in return. Eyes burned with heavy tears that didn’t fall quite yet. “You’re welcome,” Danny swallowed down a sob. Clearing his throat the yōkai murmured back the the teen, “Try getting some sleep, ‘kay? Yer Mom will be here soon. I promise.”

Leo seemed more than happy to do so. He couldn’t get comfortable in the chair, neither of them could, but he did his best to stay upright enough to prevent his neck from cramping. “Can do,” the teen yawned. As he began to doze off Leo looked over his shoulder to the best of his ability, catching the subtle shake of Danny’s arms. With one more squeeze to the rat’s hand, the slider whispered something Danny would never forget.

“… thanks, Dad.”

**********************

A furious shout was what woke the two an hour later.

As sleep finally claimed the weakening barriers of his psyche it was robbed of him just as quickly. Jolted out of their stupor by the unexpected noise Danny was alert instantly, eyes darting for their prison door as it was swung open just as heavily, striking the wall with unforgiving force. Hun stood in the doorway to greet them, Leo’s phone clutched in one meaty fist, but the way he was holding it suggested he was making a call. There was a female voice screaming at him on the speaker.

It didn’t take a genius to know WHO was on the other end of that phone.

But his heart still skipped all the same, her name falling from his lips in one subtle breath. “Kathrine.”

“Guess who decided to give me a call and wake me up at three in the morning?” Hun grumbled, holding the phone ten inches away from his head as it started piercing his eardrum. “I didn’t know your bitch was so frustrating to deal with.”

Danny held his tongue. Perhaps Hun didn’t realize the opportunity that presented itself to the two of them— he hoped he was stupid enough to miss it. But Leo wasn’t. Thank the lord he was just as clever as his mother. One slight look over his shoulder— one undisguised glimmer of hope caught in the slider’s eyes— and he knew Leo understood.

A plan.

Giving Leo an approving nod the teen smirked— mischievous, sly, all the makings of the spitfire rebel— before he reeled it back and replaced his bravado with a timid expression, appearing meek and nervous in the presence of the gang leader. “C-Can I talk to my Mom?”

Using the quivering voice approach, nice touch, Danny internally applauded.

Hun glared at the prisoner, annoyance in his gaze. “And why should I let you?”

“Cuz… I miss her,” Leo shrank in his bonds, sounding pitiful. “And… and I wanna talk to her. To my brothers. Please…?”

Danny didn’t miss how the boy still latched tight to his fingers behind him, trembling, the mask an unsung truth behind their scheme. But as he had done before the yōkai gripped his hand back to convey his confidence in the kid.

Ya got this.

Hun cocked a brow in bewilderment. The screaming on the phone only grew louder to the point Danny could almost hear the distinct sound of Spanish cuss words being slung at the criminal. He was grateful Leo couldn’t grasp a majority of the language yet, because the words that came out of that woman’s mouth almost made him turn scarlet. Damn, Kat, ya really were raised in New York.

When Hun wouldn’t budge, Danny decided to give the kid some backup. “His mother’s probably worried sick ‘bout him. Ya really can’t let her hear his voice t’ give him peace of mind?”

Leo’s hand squeezed his in gratitude.

Weighing the phone in his palm, frowning deeper the more Katie’s screams pitched into the air, the brute groaned angrily. Holding the device up, Hun gave the two of them a cautionary hiss. “Don’t even THINK about trying to warn her,” he whispered through grit teeth amidst the screaming rage of Kathrine. “You do, you die.”

Hun placed Leo’s phone on his leg— Danny had to wager a guess, he still couldn’t get a clear view over his shoulder. But it didn’t stop Katie’s verbal rampage from rushing through the phone in a tirade of oral vengeance.

“—Maldito hijo de PUTA! Cuando te ponga las manos encima, te romperé las rodillas y te romperé el cráneo—!”

“Mom…?” Leo chirped.

The screaming ceased outright.

There was a pregnant pause.

“Leo?” Katie asked, voice above a whisper.

Leo went stiff. Danny could barely see Leo’s expression, but he saw the way the poor kid’s eyes started to go glossy. “Mom,” he swallowed. “Mom it’s me.”

Any semblance of hesitation was shattered as the woman reacted. “Leonardo!” Katie gasped, sounding close to tears. She fought to control herself— he could almost feel the unbridled relief coming through the phone. “¿Mi hijo? Cariño, ¿estás bien?”

“Si,” Leo confirmed with a tremor in his voice, struggling to keep his composure. “Si. I’m fine. I’m okay,” he sniffed. “I’m so sorry, I was such an idiot, I never should’ve run away—“

“Leonardo, honey, it’s okay. I’m not mad. I’m just… I’m so glad to hear your voice,” Katie soothed him with ease. Danny was amazed by how gentle and comforting she sounded, how effortlessly she managed to keep the teen calm despite her own anxiety skyrocketing. “I’m here. I’m here, hon, I’m right here.”

Any kind of restraint the turtle showed previously went out the window the moment his mother’s consoling words reached him. Leo’s hands shook under Danny’s as the tears finally prickled his eyes. “You’re alright,” the man assured in a whisper. “Take your time, keep talking.”

Leo’s hands squeezed his hands so hard he felt the bones crackle. But, encouraged, Leo continued. “A-Are you okay Mom?”

“I’m the last person you should be asking that to, sweetheart,” Katie reassured softly. “I’m fine.”

“Is… Donnie?”

“He’s okay too. We got his medicine. He’s still sick as a dog but he’s breathing steadier now.”

Leo breathed a massive sigh of relief, sagging into his chair. “Thank god!” He breathed. Danny couldn’t help but grin, an extra weight lifted from his shoulders. That was one good piece of news to know. “What about Raph? Mike, Case, Jay?”

“Everyone is okay. We’re safe,” Katie soothed. “Are you hurt?”

“Kinda,” Leo sheepishly answered. He chuckled afterwards to lighten the mood. “But that’s nothing new given my track record.”

“Oh honey…” Katie sounded heartbroken. “I’m so sorry.”

Leo gripped Danny’s hand tighter. “That makes two of us…”

“Bromista, where’s Danny? Is he with you?”

Danny’s heart started hurting. Hearing her say his name was like honey to his ears. It had been a mere three days but it felt like three months— how could such a small thing make him emotional? “Yeah. I’m here,” he called. There was movement as Hun took Leo’s phone and brought it over to Danny, only now the human turned the speaker off and put the devise on his shoulder, Danny cradling it there as he pressed it to his cheek. This was harder with his arms tied.

Suddenly his chest started hurting even more. This was ridiculous, he shouldn’t be so nervous to speak to her. But at the same time… would she be cross with him? Would she blame him for getting the both of them captured? What was going through her head?

“Daniel?”

… There it was. One moment, one isolated moment between the two of them, it was almost enough to render him a hopeless pile of flesh and bone.

“Daniel?” Katie tried again. “Hello? Danny?”

“… hi, Kathrine,” he sighed.

Only she knew how to get him misty eyed.

“Dios Mio,” Katie breathed— if she hadn’t started crying whilst talking to Leo, her voice shook and wavered dangerously close to teetering over the edge. “Daniel, holy shit…”

“Hey hey, it’s okay,” he shushed, blinking back his own tears. “Please don’t cry. If ya start crying then I’m gonna cry, Leo’s gonna start bawling; we’ll all be emotional messes.”

“Hey!” Leo blubbered through a wry laugh.

In his ear Katie actually snorted. “Jackass,” she whimpered.

“Good t’ know I can still make ya laugh,” Danny smirked under his breath.

“You always do…” she sounded like she was trying to collect herself. “You always do.” Taking deep, calming breaths to steady herself, Katie swallowed down what sounded like a sob. “You okay?”

“I’ll live. You?”

“I’m fine.” Katie sighed heavily. “Just… fuck, Amor, are you hurt?”

“Just th’ usual on my end. Leo’s…” his gaze swiftly flickered from Hun to gauge if he were paying attention to his conversation. “… pretty much okay. Just misses th’ hell outta you.”

Katie took another shaky breath. “I miss the both of you,” she said after a moment of pause. “If Casey’s info is as solid as he says then we’re close to finding you. You guys will be home by sundown.”

“I think that’s th’ best thing I’ve heard in days.” Danny smiled. He closed his eyes to collect himself, to breathe deep and center his focus solely on her voice, picturing her face in his mind clear as the sky. “Leo’s gonna be happy t’ hear that.”

“What’s Hun doing? Has he tried to hurt you? Has he hurt Leo?”

“Not too much. Just me.” Danny briefly looked at Hun— the man was glowering at the yōkai with a certain level of quiet unbridled anger that could rival Mama on a bad day. His face was stuck in a permanent sneer, his hands clenched into fists as though prepared to start pummeling him if he’d begun saying the wrong thing. Hun was chewing at the bit, probably hoping Danny slipped and spilled his ulterior motives just for the excuse to knock his teeth out. Being watched like a hawk made giving Kat the clues she needed near impossible.

But he knew how to improvise.

“… baby,” he muttered softly. “Ya remember those Spanish lessons ya gave me?”

“‘Course, but what…” Katie paused. Then, with a sudden realization, she hummed slyly. “You slick bastard.”

“Ya get me?”

“Yeah.” Katie affirmed. “Have a handle on it enough to give me some information?”

“Alto y claro,” Danny spoke in Spanish easily— the puzzled expression on Hun’s face almost made him laugh.

“How many of them are there?”

“Tal vez doce.”

“What kind of place are you in? Does it look new, old?”

“Un almacén lúgubre. Quizás reconstruido a partir de un negocio textil.”

Hum squinted, suspicious. “What’re you saying?” He hissed.

“He feed you?”

“Sólo uno vez.”

“Do you know what he’s going to do once I get there?”

“The hell are you saying?“ Hun snarled, louder. He stormed over to the yōkai and got close— inches away from his snout as he bared his teeth. “WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?”

“I said yer a dumbass bitch with no taste,” Danny bluntly lied.

Thwack! Hum backhanded him hard across the mouth. The phone clattered to the floor.

“Hey!” Leo cried, struggling in his bonds at the sound. “Listen, jackass! You better leave him alone or I’ll—“

“Do what?” Hun challenged, cackling at the turtle. “Attack me? You can’t even lift a finger in your state!” With one hand he plucked the phone from the ground, turning the speaker back on to let Katie hear him. “All you muties are is a waste of resources and precious time! You pretend to be human so you can fit in! You’re not even normal enough to pull that off!” He circled the bound captives, a lion stalking his helpless prey. “Just pathetic excuses for fancy house pets that never learn their lesson.”

“Don’t talk to my son like that you ugly bastard! Leo, don’t listen to him—“

“Awww, what, you gonna start crying?” Hun put on a sing-song voice, taunting the poor kid behind him. Leo’s hands curled into fists beneath Danny’s hold, trembling terribly; signs of the steel-like resolve beginning to waver.

Danny looked over his shoulder to match Hun’s gaze, his expression shifting into a dark mask, baring bloodied teeth and showing off a set of fierce canines that appeared razor sharp under the dim light. His golden eyes glinted murderously, daring the bastard to test his patience. “They’re more human that you.”

“You think they’re human?” Hun sounded appalled. “These freaks are carnival sideshows! They’re monsters!” He gestured to the two prisoners with Leo’s phone. “They ain’t got a right to stick their noses in business that don’t concern them! The moment shit hits the fan, these things create more chaos! More problems! If it weren’t for them, we’d all be honky dory!”

“If it weren’t for these kids we’d all be fucking DEAD, moron!” Danny finally yelled. “Did ya all get selective amnesia?! Or did youse collectively get dropped on your heads?! They stopped an alien invasion! They saved thousands of people! They saved this city! I didn’t see YOU step up and fight back! They’re more human than all of you combined! THIS kid,” he nodded to the silent Leo. “Is th’ living example of bravery! Yer a sorry slab of skin that never contributed anything meaningful in yer life, so ya take it out on kids t’ make yourself feel better! Ya ain’t a real man— you’re a fanatical bully with a power trip kink!”

“HE’S AN ANIMAL!”

“HE’S A HERO, YOU FUCKING TWAT!”

Hun’s beady eyes looked as if they were turning red with rage. His hands twisted the cellphone furiously, thin lips curled into a maddening grimace. Good, let him get angry, let him focus his anger on him. Bide your time, maybe someone outside will hear the commotion and call the police.

“What?” He pressed his buttons again, trying to find a weakness. “Did I hurt th’ Big Bad Hun’s feelings? Guess ya ain’t as cutthroat as ya claimed t’ be.”

Hun put the phone down. The scumbag rounded on the yōkai, slowly reaching for something out of view behind him, his wider build making it hard to see what he was grabbing. “You’re gonna regret ever pissing me off.”

Danny blinked, dread rising. “Th’ fuck do y—“

CRACK!

Something hit him across the head.

Something hard, something metal. Heavy as bricks and being swung with the force of a battering ram. It happened so quickly he couldn’t see it.

His brain exploded with agony. Something in the side of his temple shattered, he was certain. Blood came flying out of his scalp and tangled into brown fur.

CRACK! It struck his back next, fracturing the bottom left of his ribs. His world fell sideways. Hun sent Danny toppling to the floor with a resounding crash, the chair crushing his bound arms underneath him with agonizing force. He couldn’t understand what happened to him.

“DAD!” Leo screamed.

“Leo?! DANNY?!” Katie exclaimed over the speaker.

Hun started kicking him in the depths of the stomach. He tried to curl into a ball to hide from the worst of the blows but they were unforgiving and brutal, coming one after the other. Stomping down hard on the chest and abdomen, as though he were trying to create as much internal bleeding as possible. Danny’s vision became a blur of distortion; everything warped and shifted off its axis, colors danced between a thin line of monotone. In the hands of the gang leader he held a long metal bar with a curved, sharp end. A crowbar? When did he bring—

CRACK! The next blow struck him on the collarbone, several more being delivered to his right eye. In mere moments it started swelling— Danny preyed he wouldn’t go blind. Blood erupted from his nostrils, clogging them, making it harder to take a breath without risk of choking. He could taste it in the back of his throat.

Katie was screeching at the top of her lungs venomously, chaotic static warping the high pitch of the phone on speaker. Leo sounded as if he were hyperventilating. The crowbar was brought down into Danny’s shoulder. The arm popped at the socket, dislocated. The next strike hit him square in the stomach. Then the knees. Then the clavicle. He grit his teeth painfully tight, trying not to give in to the anguish that ripped him in pieces. He sank his fangs into his tongue to in the point where he morbidly wondered if he was going to bite clean through and drown in his blood. Don’t scream don’t scream don’t scream don’t scream don’t scream don’t scream DO NOT SCREAM.

“DAD, NO!” Leo sounded ten miles away despite sitting above him, fighting like wild in his bindings. “HUN, GET AWAY FROM HIM, IT’S ME YOU WANT!”

“Not so funny now, huh?” Hun huffed, kicking the rodent yōkai in the diaphragm. “NOT SO CLEVER NOW, AREN’T YOU?!”

Danny returned that visceral bark with his own matching glare. Through bated breath he worked out the words, “B-Be hhere… allll… we-eek…”

With a dismissive click of his tongue, the human sadist weighed the crowbar in his hand, tapping it methodically in the palm with slow, calculated motions. Danny’s blood slathered the thick metal, the curve of the tool drip, drip, dripping in tandem with his heartbeat to the dirty floor. The scenery was eerily familiar. “Such a pity you didn’t last as long as I’d hoped. Since you’re so eager to get a head start on the REAL fun, I’ll let you choose. What should I break first, rat?” Hun hummed casually in thought. “Your back? Your ribs? Your legs? Your arms? Or,” Hun pointed the long metal bar at Leo. “His shell?”

Danny had never known such a bloodcurdling rage. He’d never felt something so guttural, so primal, so inhuman that began to ebb its way throughout his torn veins. The kind of strength that overpowered him in that moment as Hun pointed the crowbar at the turtle was so fierce it would’ve been enough to give him the power to rip himself free. But being so bludgeoned and battered, his willpower would have to suffice. “D-Don’t… you… daaare… touch… m-myyy… son!”

Hun, splashed with dark red blood across his face and shirt, pushed him onto his aching back, a foot planted on his chest to keep him pinned. His eyes stung with hot, burning tears. “Still not catching on. You don’t get to make those decisions. I do. You’re nothing but a mindless animal that can talk back. And animals that start to misbehave deserve to be shown. Their. PLACE!”

Danny squinted against the haze of moisture that clung to his eyelashes, watching as Hun raised the crowbar over his head with a sickeningly masochistic grin.

It came down too fast.

C R A C K!

It struck the top of Danny’s tail near the base of his tailbone.

Bone crumbled beneath the skin like sand.

And Danny finally shrieked like there was no tomorrow.

The sounds he made were animalistic in nature. He writhed, broken tail thrashing and kicking in vain, arms yanking against the ropes tying him down, tearing into his wrists and turning them bloody, screaming every swear in a hodgepodge mix of Italian and Spanish, cursing these pigs for doing this to him, how dare they, how dare they—

“LEAVE MY DAD ALONE! PLEASE!” Leo pleaded, sobs hitching within his throat from afar. “DAD, GET UP!”

Hun tossed the crowbar aside, his horrific work done. It clanged against the ground near the wall farthest from Leo. “Got nothing else to say, rat?” Without hesitation— or mercy— he ground the heel of his shoe into Danny’s broken tail. It only served to make the yōkai scream louder.

“STAY AWAY FROM THEM!” Katie roared. “I’M GONNA KILL YOU, HUN! YOU HEAR ME!? YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD!”

“You want them?“ Hun shouted loud enough for Katie to hear him, barking out a disgraceful laugh. “Come get them! I’d more than happy to get rid of your precious pets!”

Danny’s heart pounded hard and fast in his ears. Blood roared like an ocean in his veins. Despite being beaten within an inch of his life, despite his hearing being spotty, he caught those words and hung on like a vice.

Hun was baiting her. He was anticipating her razor thin temper going off.

He was using Danny’s pain as ammo to fuel her fiery fury and catch her off guard.

Hun would have Katie and the kids within the hour.

Without regard for his safety any longer, Danny hollered at the top of his lungs. “KATHRINE! ¡NO VENGAS AQUÍ! ¡ES UNA EMBOSCADA! ¡TIENE CHICOS CON ARMAS ESPERANDO A TI Y A LOS NIÑOS! OBTENGA A LEO, OLVÍDATE DE MÍ—“

Hun kicked him with unforgiving force in the throat, cutting him off; the windpipe crushed under the blow he coughed out blood this time, splattering across the man’s foot. Blind with pain the yōkai thrashed against his bonds with a renewed fervor but it was no use. Nothing he tried worked. He was trapped.

Helpless.

Useless.

Weak.

Pathetic.

“Come to the Harrison Textile Warehouse by eight o’clock tonight!” Hun shouted. “And bring all your freaks with you! Otherwise, I’ll skin the rat alive and use his fur as a new lining for my coat! And I’ll turn the terrapin into a hood ornament!” Hun marched over to Leo’s phone, where Katie still screamed for the mammoth to stay away from the two, and crushed it beneath his foot.

The silence following the call’s end was deafening.

Danny lay on his back in the chair, choking on blood that became too thick in his throat, filling his mouth too fast. His body twitched and shuddered in anguish, his hands unable to tend to any of the fresh gashes or bruises. But through all the immeasurable turmoil his body was currently experiencing, Danny glared ruefully at the human with a kind of darkness he’d only felt once in his life— when Katie had been mutated by Draxum, when that crazed monster had put his hands on her. Spitting the blood from his mouth the yōkai shakily growled, “Y-You d-du-mb f-fuck… Sh-e’ll nnnnever… fall… fer yer… b-bull-shit…”

Hun scoffed. “Sounds like she’s already got the memo.” He crouched down to Danny’s level, hands painted red as they sat on his knees. “And you two are going to be SCREWED.”

Leo struggled with a vengeance, fighting desperately to break loose of his ropes, vivid tears streaming down the kid’s cheeks. The slider grit his teeth furiously with vile rage as he yelled at the human. “YOU’RE THE WHO’S GONNA BE SCREWED WHEN I GET OUTTA HERE! I’M GONNA TELEPORT YOUR SORRY ASS TO MARS FOR HURTING MY DAD!”

“I’d like to see you try.” Hun smirked cruelly. Reaching up to his ear he pressed a finger to it and gave a command. “Someone come drag these pests downstairs to set up for the woman’s arrival! We’re gonna be having a family reunion!”

Danny blinked slowly, thin lines of red trailing down the side of his face imitating a ghoulish tear. He weakly turned his head to look at Leo, who still fought the confines of the chair and shouted threats at Hun. The edges of his blurred vision were tinted with fog so much he worried he was starting to succumb to a probable concussion… that, or something far worse. Brain bleed? Hemorrhage? No, he couldn’t leave Leo behind, he couldn’t allow him to get hurt, he’d break his oath to Kat if he passed out now.

He stretched his neck upward, grinding his teeth in excruciating anguish when he attempted to move despite being bound. Nobody was going to lay a hand on that kid. Not if he could still breathe. Not if he could still fight back to some extent. He’d rather die first that let these bozos harm his boy. “‘Eee-ooh…” he groaned in vain, straining his voice to try and reach the teen.

Leo froze, his face wrought with all types of emotions: panic, despair, terror, confusion. Every ounce of grief he’d had for the boy intensified once he noticed the kid weeping for his sake. “Dad…”

More blood gathered into his mouth. Gurgling the man spat it to the side to the best of his ability, head swimming with internal trauma. “M’… rrright… h-here…” he choked on the words, sputtering as air hitched into his lungs, struggling for the chance to breathe. “Nnnnott… go-goin’… nowhere…”

But something lurked out of the corner of his eye. Leo caught it. His eyes widened, struggling tenfold. “No, NO! D—“

Danny’s consciousness was robbed of him when the metal bar came down across the back of his head with the power to shatter bone…

And the world around him went black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DANNY IS NOT HAVING FUN 😂😂😂

Don’t worry for long, cuz Katie is coming to save them! IN THE SECOND PART 😅😂

Stay tuned!!

@queen-with-the-quill @tending-the-hearth @figuringitoutasigoalong @goldenflowerdragon @lameboobah @wasted-and-ready

[brotpqueen]

Okay listen I’m working on the next chapter but Gabriel is a bitch to write for. I am neither a man nor an overconfident little bastard (though that last one is debatable) so I don’t relate to him as much as the others which makes writing more complicated. This bitch is tiring. Also as y’all know I have no idea how to write romantic tension, especially not of the enemies-to-lovers variety. Here’s some incorrect quotes while you guys wait (with some lore drops about the AU if you look hard enough). Thanks for being so patient, gang.

Hairdresser: How would you like your hair cut? Beelzebub: Preferably with scissors, but a sword could be badass.

(if you read chapter one you already know my Beez makes terrible decisions about their hair.)

Anathema: I'm at a loss for words! Newt: Despite being ‘at a loss for words’, Anathema yelled at me for the next 45 minutes.

(Newt is the incompetent one in the group but he’s so sweet they keep him around anyway)

Gabriel: There. How do I look? Shax: Like a cheap French harlot. Gabriel: French?!

(Former Cyberbully VS Also Former Cyberbully. At least Shax is creative with it.)

Aziraphale: Crowley, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason. Crowley, wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than their size: Spooky.

(…Obviously.)

Aziraphale: What the fuck is wrong with you?? Beelzebub: What? No good morning? Aziraphale: Good morning, what the fuck is wrong with you??

(This is literally all of their conversations up until they were like fourteen and Aziraphale gave up on being a good influence and joined in the batshit)

Shax: You're smiling. What happened? Crowley: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it? Aziraphale: Gabriel tripped and fell down the stairs today.

(They’re the worst brothers ever <3)

Beelzebub: When I was your age- Aziraphale, mocking Beelzebub: When I was your height. Beelzebub: Beelzebub: Listen here you little shit-

(Beez is completely ignoring that Aziraphale is literally like a month older than them)

Hastur: I wouldn’t put it in those words exactly. Newt: Why not? Hastur: Because I don't know what they mean.

(Hastur is a himbo. In this context both affectionate and derogatory. Love ya, ya dumbass.)

The Squad is gathered in the living room for a meeting Maggie: walks in and sits on Nina’s lap The Squad: … Newt: Why are you sitting there? Maggie: There’s no free seats! Newt: But we made sure there was enough room for- Nina: hugs Maggie tightly There are no free seats.

(Nina and Maggie are just here to cuddle and see shit go down tbh.)

Aziraphale: I honestly feel like some of our conversations here are almost word-for-word accurate to the generator. Anathema: Yup. Beelzebub: Maybe the generator is watching us. Aziraphale: Wouldn't that imply this conversation will be added? Aziraphale: … Aziraphale: Wait—

(Never let the smart ones™️ near alcohol they’re existential little fucks already we don’t need a philosophical debate at the campfire)

Shax: Some of us are still ‘it’ from a childhood game of tag. Uriel: Way to just fuck me up on a Tuesday.

(Shax is studying psychology at college/uni SOLELY so she can use it to fuck with people.)

Crowley: We need a plan to beat them. Aziraphale: Okay, listen up. First, we fill their shoes with wet cat food. Crowley: Aziraphale: Judge me all you want, I get results.

(And people say Bee is a bad influence. Really! He’s much better at being a devious little shit now, so I’d call that a good influence!)

One of the campers: running towards Beelzebub with open arms Beelzebub: moves out of the way One of the campers: Hey, why'd you move?! Beelzebub: I thought you were going to attack me. One of the campers: I was going to hug you! Beelzebub: Why would you hug me? One of the campers: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

(They have issues okay. Stay tuned for that shit show!)

Shax: I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

(She’s the worst I love her.)

Beelzebub: It’s too early in the morning for this. sent at 11:57 AM

(Aziraphale at many points throughout the years since they chose their name: your name is Beelzebub not Belphegor. Get up and go eat.)

Crowley: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities. Crowley, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

(He looses all morals when it comes to board games. Also shut up Crowley your mother is like as rich as God…almost literally.)

Hastur: Hey, Aziraphale you're smart, tell me what would happen if I chugged 3 gallons of chloroform. Aziraphale: Have you ever been to a mortuary? Hastur: Yea, my grandma lives there. Uriel: That is the worst response to that question.

Aziraphale: I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this. Beelzebub: I literally said “I have an idea,” and you just went along with it without question.

(This is just their entire dynamic in this fic. Literally. This is how they end up in so many situations™️)

Beelzebub, to Nina: You know, Gabriel can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching. Beelzebub: blows airhorn at Gabriel GET FUCKED!

(They’re still in the enemies stage of enemies-to-lovers…Also Crowley approves this method.)

Beelzebub: I've met a lot of pricks in my time, but you, Gabriel, are a fucking cactus.

(Wait why is that just something I would have them say.)

Uriel: We need to distract these guys. Shax: Leave it to me. Shax: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. The smart ones™️: immediately begin arguing

(More psych student Shax knowing her friends eerily well! She’s a nightmare!)

Gabriel: What have I done wrong?! Crowley: Everything. For your entire life.

(They are in SEVERE need of character development…shame no one around here is doing that. *whistles totally inconspicuously, definitely not ignoring the WIP that’s open in my notes right now*)

Maggie: Which country has the most birds? Maggie: Portu-geese! Uriel: That's a language. Maggie: Portu-gull? Uriel: Good recovery. Newt: I think you mean good re-dovery. Anathema: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY?

(This is what’s happening while the MCs are off doing MC shit)

Crowley: We’re going to have to split up, like in Scooby Doo. Crowley, to Newt and Hastur: You guys are Scooby and Shaggy. You can search the bathrooms. Crowley, to Aziraphale: Velma, you get the spooky looking fridge in the basement. Aziraphale: What? Why am I Velma? And why do I get the… dubious looking device? Crowley: Because only Velma would say “dubious device”. Aziraphale gets the spooky fridge in the basement. Gabriel: And what does that make you, Fred? Crowley: Bitch, I’m Daphne.

(The real reason Crowley and Gabriel hate eachother so much is that there’s only room for one dramatic little bitch in their family and they both think it should be them.)

Maggie: I'm not superstitious… But I am a little stitious.

(My underrated queen!)

Hastur: I know where you live. Uriel: Where? Hastur: In a house.

(Uriel spends half of their time at camp facepalming. This is what they get for being normal in a sea of weirdos.)

Okay that’s it for now see y’all soon hopefully with the next chapter!

[beanghostprincess]

Tumblr crossed soul mates yessssssss you have the BEST opinions and dropping asks here is so much fun and really it's the highlight of my day.

Shanks trying to get flirting advice from the crew, specifically Roger, is both so in character and absolutely hilarious. Like. Dropping my own headcanon here, but I feel like Rouge was probably ALSO a badass of a woman, and so Roger's type is women who could destroy me. Shanks has the same taste, plus a little extra friends-to-lovers trope seasoning for extra Flavor. Crocus is just off to the side, either NO help or equally as bad. Rayleigh is certain he's going gray already bc of the Shenanigans.

Imagine for a moment that Shanks keeps Not Being Clear. He thinks he's being OBVIOUS, but Buggy, while Suspecting Smth, isn't gonna make it easy on him (she also is terrified to be misreading things and refuses to take that chance. She talks mad shit, but Shanks is her PERSON. Of course she loves him, of course he's her soulmate, her beloved, her bst friend, her comrade, of course of course of course. But she'd rather remain best friends and pining inside than risk losing him at all.).

It comes to a head when they have their Regularly Scheduled Whitebeard V Roger Fight.

((Insert a crack ship here but-)) Maybe, after the battle, during the cool down, this time around there's no Teach to set Buggy's instincts off. Maybe Marco, just a few years the cabin kids' senior, has Noticed Buggy. Maybe the Phoenix is preening and fighting weird, sudden instincts and is so absolutely FLUSTERED by it. Maybe Buggy is, in turn, flustered or flattered by the attention - maybe she even misconstrues it.

Marco is letting Buggy look over his books, is offering her his hand when boarding or stepping off a ship - either ship, mind you - is sharing his food, is shouldering others aside to give her something Shiny and Pretty, is attentive to if she shivers, if she sweats, offers her comfortable places to sit, is just.... in her orbit.

And Shanks does not like that, not one bit.

So he's in a Mood, as one would expect of a jealous teen boy, no matter his general disposition.

Others have noticed by now, the intense glaring matches between Marco and Shanks are shooting over an oblivious Buggy's head. She's just too excited by treasures, fabrics, textures and books to care much about the boys - until the evening.

Marco invites her to read together by the firelight, a blanket in one arm. She's tempted - he has a few books on constellations that she's debating lifting from their dusty shelves, and so few on the Oro Jackson enjoy reading the way she does.

But then a hand hooks decisively on her waist. Suddenly, Shanks is beside her, arm around her, holding her, pinning her, to his side and chest as he shoots what may generously be called a smile at the zoan devil fruit user.

"Buggy is capable of speaking for herself, Red-yoi."

"Oh, she is! Absolutely, I'll never cast doubt on that. She's spirited, alright. But ya know something, bird brain?" His eyes darken, smiled falling. "She's mine."

"Is she now?"

"If she wants to be - I won't force it. But watch your hands. Don't get so touchy with my Buggy."

"Stay in your lane, Shanks-yoi."

And suddenly the hand on her waist is gone. Suddenly Shanks is gone. Suddenly there's a brawl, right there, and Buggy is left gaping as her brain works on overdrive.

Half the assembled crews are drunk and cheering them on, a good chunk are asleep or off wandering, but Buggy is soon swept into the safe cocoon of Toki's arms, tucked to her side.

She is transfered to Roger, to Rayleigh, taken home and calmed down because the fragile, precarious structure she has assembled now has become full of unknowns. She's losing her mind over it, but more than that, she's fighting a desperate hope that she hates herself for having.

Shanks can do so much better than her, she tells herself.

The boy in question comes staggering in soon after - he was pissed at Marco, sure, but he noticed when she started panicking, when she began floating, when she was gone - and he came for her. He came as quickly as he could.

And he apologizes. "I shouldn't have called you mine."

Her chest feels like it's been stabbed.

He continues without hesitation. "You're your own person. You're too bright and smart and strong and awesome to just be some guy's girl. You're Buggy, and my feelings for you shouldn't ever take that away from you."

"What..."

"Mm?"

"What are you feelings for me?"

And they cry that night. They yell, and scream, and cry, and laugh, and when they fall asleep, it's tangled together in his hammock, her head resting on his chest and his grin buried in blue curls.

Marco and Shanks, both as adults, still have a semi-playful rivalry going on where they're down to throw hands at the drop of a hat, but it's all in good fun. They still sometimes argue over Buggy, but it's mostly to get her to blush, cackle or yell at them - usually, all three, though not in that order. Marco calls her "the one that got away" and makes the melodramatic "sometimes I can still hear her voice-" comments if only bc it makes people either laugh, groan, or get absolutely flabbergasted.

He was invited to their wedding.

AAA I'm so glad you're having fun sending the asks because I have so much fun reading your ideas <33 They're just SO good.

This is all PERFECT. Rouge was definitely a badass of a woman and somehow Roger managed to date her. Somehow. He doesn't know. He thinks he knows. He doesn't. And his advice isn't really that helpful for Shanks, ngl. He's just left without knowing exactly what to do to win Buggy's heart, but at least he can talk to Roger about it.

And,,, The Marco thing,,, The jealousy,, Especially with the rizz this man has, honestly, Shanks is righteously feeling intimidated. He's older than them and he's hotter. He looks more mature and calm and he reads and does those things Buggy enjoys. He makes her laugh, too, and Shanks is furious because he should be the one making her laugh!! It's not only that it makes him mad, but also, it makes him feel insecure about himself and his abilities. The thing is, Marco makes Buggy feel comfortable and appreciates her a lot, but he isn't Shanks. She thinks that Shanks doesn't feel the same and she won't confess either because she's scared of ruining their friendship. So Marco is the best option here, right? She should settle for him. But he isn't Shanks. And Shanks knows he doesn't have any right to claim Buggy or whatever, but this is pissing him off a lot. Both of them being stupid and feeling insecure about the other's feelings is so good,, And then they talk things out, of course, because Shanks shouldn't have said those things, but also Buggy did like it. Kind of. The fact that he was so protective of her. And that night they finally confess and kiss for the first time and it's just so good-- They laugh and whisper sweet nothings between kisses and it's the first time they do it but it feels so right. Buggy thinks about them being soulmates, but Shanks is the one to say it out loud.

And ever since, Shanks and Marco have had this rivalry and nobody knows exactly why because they never tell people about it. But it's just so hilarious to see them bicker for something that happened years ago. Every time Buggy remembers that, her self-esteem goes higher and higher, so at least she gets something good out of it.

[ladyhindsight]

something ive noticed while reading the mortal instruments is an annoying trope that happens lots in ya fantasy: the "strong female protagonist" (clary) who's never more powerful than her boyfriend (jace). its just so annoyingggg

Clare does it covertly (or “covertly”). On paper, Clary’s powers and abilities are greater than Jace’s. Jace is physically and physiologically superior Shadowhunter, but Clary can utilize somewhat powerful magic in ways others cannot. Yet narrative-wise Jace is the best, the most graceful, the most amazing thing ever to happen to the Nephilim, while Clary talks down on herself, compares herself constantly to Jace and how clumsy she is in comparison (not mentioning the fact that Jace has trained his whole life while she has just begun, at least in terms of books 1-3). How Jace’s hair looks better and she is disheveled while taking a tumble down a hill et cetera. Nobody hypes up Clary like the writing has everyone hyping up Jace, friends and foes alike.   

Emma is the best Shadowhunter of her generation—though I feel like they are all the same generation, lol—and has a legendary weapon to up her abilities. Yet Emma’s Jace-level skills don’t really matter in terms of the story and add nothing to anything. She could be completely average and the story doesn’t necessarily change (compare to Jace whose powers help him in battles and escape actual dire situations), because most of what Emma is as a Shadowhunter is tied to her ownership of Cortana. Julian, however, is such a badass schemer, such a wannabe Petyr Baelish, so ruthless and thus so amazing, and it is for him that the story kicks forward on occasion. It’s him that creates Livia’s Watch, he who schemes to keep his family together, he who knows how to play the Clave’s games. I am surprised again why Emma is the protagonist at all.

All of this aligns with the similar theme where the heroine is not really the protagonist rather than the observer of the amazingness of the male protagonist. Which is excruciatingly obvious especially with Clary/Jace and Emma/Julian.

Tessa has a power of shapeshifting, she is Nephilim and warlock—though I still don’t really know can she cast proper spells?—she even harnesses the power of an angel at the end of it all, yet we keep mourning the difficult life of Will Herondale who isn’t even that impressive a Shadowhunter. James does not count because he is a stale bread and as sharp as a marble ball, so having Cordelia up him as a protagonist doesn’t require much. Though, again much of her is tied to the ownership of Cortana because names and objects carry more weight and meaning than the actual character and content in Clare’s writing.

So yes, on paper these girlies are badasses and thus it’s easy for Clare to deflect the criticism on the subject, very similarly as she has done with Jace all these years. She just seems to forget that concepts are all fine and dandy but mean nothing if they don’t matter in terms of the narrative you create. Like, Clary can be as powerful as you make her but when you treat her as lesser, what do her powers then matter.