#shes got a similar deal to bryn

[dragscore]

kierrrr

[anchoragehq]

the composite compendium & roles page will be updated shortly due to an Internet outage. they will contain more details & clues aside from a brief summary of what happened in our plot drop !

WARNINGS : body horror.

WHY DON'T WE HAVE SOME FUN ?? :) — the graffiti now etched into the walls of the terminal from years of muck accumulating the regrowth of nature essentially forms an arrow for mio akimoto to follow. the path of scurrying rats opens up to the deathbed of one of the abandoned subway trains, & it intends for her to be its final passenger ...

the weight of mio's presence in the train car sets off a booby trap & the passage begins to fill up with the sewage & water milling underground. zeliha turan, trapped on the other side of the panel in a dilapidated & abandoned laboratory for the past several weeks when the main door jammed, responded to her pleas for help. an old intercom & monitor requested a password in response to a question :

HINT : if you had an infinite supply of water and a 5-liter and 3-liter bucket, how would you measure exactly 4 liters ? the buckets do not have any intermediate markings …

with strained teamwork & a great deal of stress, zeliha was able to pin down the answer in the nick of time : WASTEDWATER. the panel opened up & mio was washed inside, sustaining a few cracked ribs & a mild case of pneumonia from fluid on the lungs.

zeliha turan was finally free to escape their predicament, armed with all the data files they could find, including one that detailed an experiment to give bigglesworth bandit the outlaw sentience, ultimately inconclusive. to reward mio akimoto for finding her & hearing why she came, they gave her a file that shared similarities in description to mio's sister, with a disappointingly smudged out name & photograph.

the town has been in division since the outcome of the trial, not everyone believes the accused three are innocent. be careful or that ANGER from that which you can't understand will spill over ... that might be what they want.

those of you who are in the know ... your mailbox filled up with urgent letters throughout the month of august.

MERCURY, your report of bryn ravencroft's conversation with angelique jackson was of high concern ... please meet up with NIGHTSHADE to notify them of a potential threat to your kind. NIGHTSHADE, you've been requested. please wait at the rendezvous point in the lighthouse for further instruction. one of our associates will be meeting you shortly for a consult. KYTA, a few unruly pests have been causing trouble & digging up the old labs. be on call for eliminating targets.

every council person was requested to an emergency meeting this morning under mayor alister warhol. the objective of the meeting was undisclosed to the public.

rumor has it the clappy system is malfunctioning, by the way. a few unlucky residents got trapped in their apartments during a major system blackout on august 21st : freya chen, beomsu nam, & bhaskar chanda. maybe someone wants to come help them so they don't hang out of the fire escape ??? anyway, that's not stopping them from beginning installation in delilah's den gated community.

zeliha turan was returned on august 9th mostly unscathed, & was admitted to the hospital for treatment of malnutrition & dehydration following their extended period of captivity, to the relief of the midnight thrillers mystery busters & their stand-in host, alizka pallas-dexicos.

on the eve of august 20th, leonardo amoretto turned on the light to his back patio upon swearing he saw the glowing of eyes. sitting on a chair in the back patio, facing the sliding door, is a severed head with red rhinestones replacing the eyes in annisa adler's likeness. on closer inspection, there are wires sticking out of its neck, & a note in its mouth : SKELETONS ALWAYS CLAW THEIR WAY OUT OF THE CLOSET ...

when the lights returned to seal harbor on the 22nd, the other half of the mechanical body was found on the floor of ava adler's apartment, a note in its hand : HAVE YOU CHECKED ON YOUR SISTER LATELY ?

if you are curious, for a full review of all of the options of the major choice set given, read below the cut !

CHOICE SET 1 :

A) mio follows the rats & wades through waist-deep waters, tapping against the walls to reveal a hollow echo that signals the room on the other side, or B) mio follows the friendly sewer rats & notices them dive into a crawl space in the walls of the terminal & chooses to follow. she is just able to fit and crawl with her elbows & knees, making use of zeliha's abandoned flashlight.

CHOICE SET 2 :

if you chose A -> mio notices a strange glow that reflects off the waters in the deeper end of the abandoned terminal & discovers a subway train with a door open & crude graffiti that reads, EMERGENCY ENTRACE HHER E <- … C) mio enters the subway train, which is keeled forward, causing her to walk uphill & through the cars. as she opens the exit tram, she can feel out a sliding panel on the wall, or D) mio skirts around the abandoned tram & notices the cracks in the wall. she uses her fingers to pry the space open wider & attempts to slide herself between the panel & the wall.

if you chose B -> mio crawls through the tight tunnels, wiggling through the twists & turns. she cannot see well with the limited movement of the flashlight in her hand but is able to track the path of the rats through the space … E) she makes a wrong turn & falls through the crumbling chunks of concrete into a fortified testing tube. the fall causes her to land wrong & with strong impact, she feels a splitting pain — she has fractured her ankle & finds zeliha on the other side of the glass or F) mio reaches the end of the crawlspace, & a translucent panel allows her to see into the room on the other side where she discovers zeliha. however, she is unable to push the panel out of the way & the horde of rats begin to surround her. she sees the beads of red eyes as they start to gnaw on her while she bangs on the panel.

CHOICE SET 3 :

if you chose C or D -> the foreign weight of mio's body sets off a trap & zeliha hears a muted alarm somewhere within the laboratory they are trapped in. a half-broken, static-ridden screen of surveillance footage turns on in the corner of the room, & zeliha witnesses as the space mio is standing begins to fill with water. ( REGARDLESS OF C OR D, mio finds herself trapped where she is. ) … zeliha approaches the control panel & discovers it's asking for a password to override.

HINT : if you had an infinite supply of water and a 5-liter and 3-liter bucket, how would you measure exactly 4 liters ? the buckets do not have any intermediate markings …

there is an intercom where they can speak to one another in this limited time. G) zeliha can start rooting through the old files in search of an answer to the password whilst mio attempts to wriggle out, & they do not use any teamwork to try to get mio out, or H) they start to discuss the riddle with each other & brainstorm what the answer is without resorting to the resources within the laboratory.

failure to resolve the riddle will result in the pressure of the rising water causing cracked ribs and a punctured lung for mio, but simultaneously, the door will burst open from its weathered state, & zeliha must find a pen or syringe to stab mio with & allow her to breathe.

if you chose E or F -> zeliha must find something that will break the [insert tube or panel here] to free mio from her predicament before [runs out of oxygen or is mauled by a horde of rats]. the room is filled with overturned tables, broken laboratory tubes, discarded files, & office supplies. however, they are able to locate two objects they can try I) an icepick ( as used in lobotomies ) or J) a regular old hammer. they have time for only choosing one weapon, so choose wisely !

[charcoalstardust]

okay just spent hours doing nothing but drawing elbelion so uh here he is in my attempt to draw his armor (and not drawing torment in the damn slightest so it looks like shit)

still haven't drawn the helmet which is a problem but i'll get there eventually

gonna be honest used this here to get a grasp on posing bc uuhhhh i don't have the mental energy to spent hours focusing on that

for the text on the drawing w/ extra additons (warning: biiig text wall. i ramble. i do not shut up.)

also now that i look at this i drew torment on the wrong side of his body.

(here's a link to his toyhou.se page if you're curious)

Elbelion Bluepool (also called Elb by friends & family and Elbe by Bryn)

The Last Dragonborn

— Commonly known as The Steel Soldier on account on having Peladius' enchanted armor. He usually wears the helmet when he's not in a hold save for the rare occasion he takes it off outside of a hold.

— Basically blind due to reading two Elder Scrolls (albeit very spaced out) as there's a period of time that passes before Dawnguard events start. I stole his plot armor

— Herma-Mora's (unwilling) Champion & the unwitting instrument of Mehrunes Dagon. Considering the Skaal & Bosmer both say Herma-Mora, Elb's gathered that Hermaeus Mora & the Woodland Man are similar enough if not literally the same entity. Also after dealing with Mora during Discerning the Transmundane and Dragonborn, he shoved the black books in a chest and hid said chest hoping the books would just vanish from there eventually. All of these events thoroughly messed him up

— For whatever reason, people love using him for their nefarious plots. This has contributed to his current attitude .owards strangers outside of the holds. Some argonian tried to turn him into a blood sacrifice and he felt a little used by the Blades (not to mention Arch-Curate Vyrthur, Mora, and the Mythic Dawn) so it's not like he can be blamed exactly.

— Socially awkward—bad at persuasion. Got through Season Unending with the most anxiety an elf will ever have. He also got snappy at both sides of the war.

— Somehow VERY intimidating despite being a Bosmer. He's tiny compared to most people. (based off the fact I regularly fail persuasion checks but pass intimidation checks with flying colors. it's really funny imagery)

extra things not on there:

In order of what events happen, he goes through the main quest, the mini quest involving Ironbind Barrow, Dawnguard, Dragonborn, a bunch of Solstheim questlines, and then The Cause.

(points to the entire Bosmer race) Sharp canines and strong jaws—for eating meat or biting a hole in your enemies' arms

Has Auriel's Shield

Had a cheatnut horse named Glade for a while up until he went to the Soul Cairn where he gets the conjuration spell for Arvak. Then he lets the guild use Glade. Occasionally summons the Daedric Horse by accident.

(Saying now that I imagine followers hopping on the back of whatever mount you're on. They deserve to be able to do that.)

Does the first two alone, then from Dawnguard to before The Cause he's with Serana. Then they talk about if she ever considered curing her vampirism and by the end of the conversation she decides to go through with it. During that Elb gets a letter and he decides well it shouldn't be that bad so he won't need the extra help right? and because cringe culture is dead Bryn decides to go with because something seems off and they eventually learn that it's that bad

Had about one friend for the longest time—an Argonian who was also crossing the border around the same time. That argonian is the Dark Brotherhood Listener, Zane (@noah-moth-cursed-chaos' oc) and that was about it before he wandered into Riften and got wrapped up in the Thieves Guild.

Only time he became a Thane was just because he helped the Jarl of Falkreath, Siddgeir. It just kind of happened and then slipped his mind.

Due to how active he is with traveling (and the high respect he gets) it's very easy for him to sneak a job or two for the Thieves Guild. Not something he expected to find himself doing but uuhh he met Brynjolf and that just sealed his fate /j

Public Thalmor Enemy #1. They hate him so much. /hj Like—both Elenwen and Ancarion have had encounters with him and he is, again, fairly intimidating for a little guy.

[tvrningout-a]

unprompted | @petalbound inquires about rin!

what emotions do they have trouble dealing with?

grief is the first emotion that comes to mind bc it's kind of what propels rin into the life she currently leads. i might go into better detail about this later, but rin had a twin brother who she lost as a young elf; the two of them were attacked on the way back from the city, and bryn died in the scuffle. when she returned home with his body, she wanted to go after the ones responsible, get justice for her brother, but her father and clan all disagreed. they felt for her, but how would they find these people? and what would they do if they found them? and the questions and reasons just kept on coming, and rin grew angrier, more determined to settle the matter on her own. so she did. she found and killed the man who killed her brother; it didn't make her feel any better, but she didn't feel bad about it, either. but rin never got over her brother's death, and she simply locked away that chapter of her life instead of properly dealing with it. going by " pickle o'brien " was as much a joke as it was a way to adopt a new identity where she wasn't a grieving family member who felt like a stranger in her own home. she can't think about bryn, and she won't talk about him. she doesn't know how without it tearing her open. if she ever loses someone else dear to her, when she has lost someone, rin mourns until she can't handle it anymore. then it's as if they never existed bc that's easier than being hit with grief every time she remembers them.

what makes them cry?

aside from the above asdfg nostalgia. looking upon the horizon and realizing how similar it looks to the view from her childhood window. tasting a dish that tastes like her father's cooking. nostalgia is like a knife to the gut every time :' ) otherwise, rin doesn't cry particularly easily, so unless you know exactly how to hurt her, you'll almost always get a snarky smile, and she'll act unaffected. she's kinda?? disconnected herself from negative emotions that aren't anger. anger is just! so easy to handle and easier to let go of. she can punch a tree or get into a fight and feel better. if she starts crying, she has no clue how to stop.

[nocturnalswarehouse]

Chapter 14 - A Night in Solitude

Fic Series: At Long Last

Pairing: Brynjolf x Female Dovahkiin|Dragonborn (Adranelle Rolaine)

Premise: Eight years after being declared the Dragonborn, and three years after Alduin is defeated, Adranelle (Adi) Rolaine finds herself back in Riften to help Brynjolf with the Thieves Guild’s reputation.

Masterlist

Taglist: @thequeenofthewinter, @oblivions-dawn

Word count: 1,203

A/N: I'm being nice to y'all this chapter because I'm about to be mean, nice, and then mean again. Hope you enjoy it, and let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

Karliah. That was the last name Brynjolf expected to hear come out of Gulum-Ei’s mouth. 

He felt angry that she was trying to take the Guild down. Angry at her for not only killing Gallus and betraying Mercer but for being the culprit behind his dad’s sickness. The Dunmer was the reason he was left without real parents. Of course, Mercer tried his best, but it wasn’t the same. Bjord had a natural warmth to him. Mercer? Well, Brynjolf always thought there was something off about the guy. 

He just didn’t want to admit that to Adi. The last thing he needed was to hear her say those four irritating words and rub it in his face that she was right. No, the Nord was too stubborn to admit that to her. Too stubborn and too proud. 

“Bryn, forget about it,” Adi spoke gently, resting her hand over his fist in the Tavern. 

“I can’t, lass,” he snapped at her. “It’s not that easy.” 

“I know what she did was horrible,” she said, brushing off his attitude. “But let’s just enjoy the night before we have to head back tomorrow. Focus on me, not on Karliah.” 

Adi had managed to pry his hand open and interlocked their fingers. Brynjolf, unable to hide the blush creeping on his face, relaxed into her touch and squeezed her hand. “Sorry, lass. It’s just shocking, is all.”

“I get it,” she smiled gently. “Let me get us another round.” 

Brynjolf gave her a small but sad smile as she left to grab more mead for them at the bar. It was hard to push the thought of Karliah aside, but he tried for his friend. They did need a night to relax, so he was determined to let her have that no matter what. Adi had been working hard for the Guild with little time to breathe in between, and while he felt proud, she needed time off more than anyone. 

When Adi came back with the mead, Brynjolf downed almost the whole bottle while Adi sipped hers. “Jesus, this is really affecting you. Need another?”

“No,” he shook his head. Brynjolf didn’t want to be hung over the next day as much as he wanted to drink more. This was partially for Adi’s sake since she would have to deal with it as much as he would. 

“If you’re sure,” she shrugged, taking another swig. 

They spent their evening in a little alcove similar to the one Gulum-Ei was in earlier. Brynjolf perked up quickly, back to joking around with Adi. Witnessing their banter for the first time, patrons would see Adi’s exasperated look and ask Brynjolf to leave. While the half-Breton was amused by their concern, her friend was not. It had almost gotten to the point where he got kicked out until Adi laid it on thick that he was her boyfriend. “It’s all in good fun, don’t worry! He’s just very openly flirtatious.”

Brynjolf’s face reddened at the comment, forcing Adi to hold back a laugh at his reaction. She played it up enough for everyone to leave them alone and let the two relax in the little alcove in peace. They sat there for a long while and stayed until Lisette announced she would play one final song before the Tavern closed for the night. Barely anyone was left, and the place was quieter. Adi and Brynjolf had since stopped talking themselves, the thieves both tired and enjoying the music. 

“We should go to bed, lass,” Brynjolf said softly as she stifled a yawn.

“After this song,” she insisted, just as Lisette began to play a slower, more romantic tune. 

“Alright,” Brynjolf couldn’t say no to her, watching Adi close her eyes and tune into the music. He smiled to himself, admiring the relaxed look on her face. He reached out and interlocked their fingers, just as she had done with him hours earlier, the action causing Adi to open her eyes. Her attention shifted to him, and Brynjolf found himself feeling like he was putty in her hands. 

Just then, a gust of wind blew through the open window behind them, causing Adi to shiver. Instinctively, Brynjolf shifted closer to Adi and pulled her into him. Tense at first, the half-Breton quickly relaxed into his touch and leaned into him. 

Tired, she looked up at her companion, and their eyes met. Adi wasn’t sure if it was the mead or her exhaustion, but she started to lean closer. Brynjolf, not totally sure what was happening, followed suit. They hovered, their lips barely an inch away from each other when Lisette’s song ended and Adi pulled away. “I’m… uh… I’m going to go to bed. We have a long journey ahead of us.”

“I’ll join you soon,” he whispered, squeezing her hand once before letting go. 

Adi gave Lisette a few septims on the way to the staircase and complimented the bard. The assassin had always been partial to music and wondered how differently her life had gone if she pursued the Bard’s College over Winterhold. Lisette thanked her and took the gold as she packed up. With one final glance at Brynjolf, noticing the Nord’s hand move away from his mouth as if he was touching his lip, Adi headed to their shared room. 

Moments later, Brynjolf came in to find Adi curled up in the queen bed, already in her nightgown and reading a book. “Lass, you were practically falling asleep.”

“And then I found this,” she moved the book up a little, emphasizing the object. Adi glanced up at Brynjolf just as he took off his shirt. Breath caught in her throat, she not only noticed how fit he really was but also a tattoo on his hip of a compass rose. The black ink was bold against his pale skin, indicating that it was fairly new. She shifted the book, so it covered her face a little and turned her eyes back to the words on the parchment - now looking like blurred lines. “When did you get that done?”

“What?”

“The tattoo, Bryn.”

“Oh!” he looked down at it as if he had forgotten it was there. “About a year ago. Why? Like it?”

His tone was teasing, but Brynjolf genuinely wanted approval from her. “It suits you.”

That sentence caused Brynjolf to begin smiling like an idiot, the Nord quickly getting into nightwear before climbing into bed beside her. “You’re not even reading.”

“Excuse me for being tired.” Adi joked but closed the book anyway. She placed it on the nightstand and blew out the lamp beside her. Brynjolf did the same with the one beside him, and they nestled into the sheets. 

Nighttime in Solitude was cooler than expected; the city had always been hot during the day. Adi shivered and instinctively pulled the blankets closer to her. Brynjolf, always annoyed when she hogs the blankets in this weather, turned around and pulled her into his bare chest. He hoped the warmth of his body was enough for Adi and kissed the top of her head once she settled into his arms. If  Brynjolf didn’t know any better, he was slowly falling in love with her. 

[celsidebottom]

I wanted to go back and find out how much damage Azu actually did take from falling out of a carriage (it was 17 points, by the way), but I’d forgotten how absolutely hilarious this whole sequence was so I had to clip it

Transcript under the cut

Helen: I’m gonna try and get out of the carriage.

Alex: Okay, give me an acrobatics check.

Helen: <laughter>

Grizzop: Azu, what are you doing!?

Hamid: It’s too dangerous!

Azu: This is a death trap.

Grizzop: this is a terrible idea!

Sasha: <squealing in glee from atop the carriage, Alex laughs>

Grizzop: you’re wearing plate.

<more laughter>

Alex: Give me an acrobatics check.

Sasha: Whoo whoo!

Alex: Have you remembered to factor in your penalties on armor check?  [unintelligible cross talk]

Ben: Alright, so, what’s your acrobatics?  You haven’t got any skill in it…

Helen: Nothing.

Ben: What’s your dex? Minus one.

Bryn, at the same time: Minus one.

Lydia: So that’s…

Ben: And then the armor…

Alex: your armor check is minus six?

Ben: It’s about minus six. So you’ve probably just rolled a zero.

Alex: I think you might have rolled a zero.

Helen: Wow, really?

Ben and Alex simultaneously: Yeah

Alex: So Azu opens the door… It’s <banging and clanging noises>

Grizzop: Azu, no!

<more banging noises from Alex while Helen laughs>

Alex: this is you rolling behind as the carriage just streams on

Ben: Uhh I’m gonna-

Sasha: What was that!?

Ben: I’m gonna jump out and try and help her.  <Helen laughs>  Cause that was awful!

Alex: I’m not gonna allow a reflex – you rolled that badly, I’m not gonna allow a reflex save to catch her-

Ben: Oh no, I’m jumping out after her.

Lydia: You couldn’t catch her if you tried!

<laughter>

Ben: Oh no, I’d go with her!

Alex: Ogghh, this is goblin arms stretching…

Ben: I would just be crushed by her.  

Alex: Give me an acrobatics check.

Ben: Yeah, okay.  So my bonus is three.  <very small, high pitched voice> Nine.

Alex: <more banging and clanging noises>

Ben: Less bad, less bad.

Alex: Both of the paladins have fallen out of the carriage.

Hamid: This is like the time we all jumped off a roof, except there’s no reason for this one!

Grizzop: I don’t remember that happening!  <voice fading out as he disappears from the carriage>

Lydia: Alright, so, Sasha can’t hear you saying that –

Alex: Sasha, make a perception check.

Lydia: -she just sees… oh, right.  

Alex: You may not have even noticed.

Bryn: Hamid has uttered that to the empty carriage around him.

Lydia: Okay, so, Sasha’s got a sixteen.  

Alex: Okay, yeah, you do notice.

Lydia: So I notice.

Alex: You notice that you have hemorrhaged – you’re hemorrhaging paladins.

Lydia: Okay, so Sasha passes the reins to the goblin-

Goblin carriage driver: Auto pilot, yeaaaah!

Lydia: -next to her, and then she jumps off.

<everyone laughing>

Bryn/Hamid, high pitched: WHYYYY?

Alex: I haven’t even rolled damage for the first… give me the acrobatics check.

Lydia: Well, I mean, Sasha’s bonus is fourteen.  

Alex: Give me that acrobatics check.

<loud laughing from Helen>

Helen: [unintelligible]

Lydia: Okay, I got a twenty.

Alex: Bang.  You have a bit of a skidding –

Lydia: -not a natural twenty-

Alex: Yeah, you do have a skidding stop, because you are moving at, like, high speed.  You’re now alone in the limo, Hamid.  I’m gonna deal with other people’s damage once you decide what you’re doing.  Everyone, for no reason, has just leapt out of a moving limo.

Grizzop: Come on!  The water’s lovely!

Alex: So the bloody-

Bryn/Hamid: HOWWW has this happened, Alex?  Like, ten minutes into a new episode, we’ve left the emotional problems behind us, and half the party just jumped out of a fast-moving carriage for literally no reason whatsoever.

Ben: Well, we need physical problems back.

Bryn: Can we replace the rest of these people?  

Alex, interrupting: The Damascus-

Bryn, continuing: with someone, with people who are competent?  I cannot work under these conditions.

Lydia: I imagine that Hamid’s internal monologue would be relatively similar.

Bryn: Yeah!  Pretty much!  

Alex: The happy, happy Damascus arc actually has a title, it’s “Be Careful what you Wish For.”

<Bryn laughs, Helen groans>

Alex: I’ve removed all external obstacles, and look what’s happening.  

Bryn: Jesus wept.

Alex: So, so what’s Hamid doing?

Ben: Look, I was just trying to help my good friend, Azu.  

Helen: Awww

Lydia: And I was perfectly qualified for the jump that I made.

<crosstalking>

Alex: I will deal with the damage-

Ben: but you can’t heal anyone!

Bryn: Hamid closes the door behind the paladins, pulls the blind down, reaches into the fridge for the second bottle of wine, uncorks it, and swigs straight from the bottle.

[druidgroves]

more valeria thoughts

i truly think she could be besties with vex bc i didn’t know much about her before making valeria & theyre similar in a lot of ways & even have facial scarring lmao (at least w/ the mod i have of her). like i think they would fucking hate each other at first just on sight but then after a little while they start being friendly & eventually it gets to a point where if anyone sees them go off on their own to talk in the cistern everyone can automatically assume they’re 1) gossiping about stuff they pick up on going through peoples things in town 2) plotting the take down of someone they both hate or 3) genuinely just chilling with each other bc it’s been a while.

however their first few interactions would be like trying to introduce two feral cats to each other.

i also think she could be good friends with karliah. i hate the idea that she just stays in the twilight sepulcher at the end of the thieves guild quest because she’s spent so long by herself that i don’t think she should be so lonely anymore!! valeria would respect her a lot.

generally valeria is kind of quiet but when she talks she can come off as very intense. she doesnt put a lot of emotion in her voice. but it’s easy to make her laugh, people just don’t really try due to her Vibe.

she finds a stray cat in the ratway during a routine sweep, with two dead skeevers nearby. she slowly befriends it & takes it back to the cistern. brynjolf gives her some shit about it but the facade quickly shatters when the cat rubs it’s head against his hand & immediately begins to take to him more than valeria. valeria is like wtf you stole my cat. bryn just “are you jealous, lass?” & she “>:| no.” (yes)

despite this the cat sleeps between the two of them later on when they’re ✨an item✨. the cat does not ever really get a name other than “Cat” or “Kitty” because neither of them are that imaginative lol

i think valeria would be good at parkour in the “quick escape from a place i just broke into” kind of way. jumping off balconies into the perfect tuck & roll. scaling buildings in riften just to sit on the roof. that kind of thing.

if anyone ever has the audacity to ask outright about the scars on her face she just tells them “a skeever did it” & leaves it at that. i imagine the only person she ever tells is brynjolf, but like, way later into their relationship.

speaking of, their relationship is so dumb. it’s a years long waiting game of who’s going to admit their feelings first &, surprisingly, bryn is the first to break (i imagine he says it when he thinks she’s asleep next to him but SIKE). by this point mercer is dead & valeria is guildmaster so she freaks out a little & disappears on a job on the other side of skyrim for at least a month the next morning because hm! she thinks she might love him too & she doesn’t know how to deal with all of that.

when she comes back bryn does the classic “sorry lass, i’ve got important things to do” as a way to keep the space she put between them by leaving. this pisses her off because when it comes to him she can’t take what she dishes out & then that’s when she realizes Hm. Maybe I’m the Problem.

they do eventually make up & valeria apologizes for disappearing. and then they have lots of makeup sex

overall they try to keep their whole thing on the down low because it wouldn’t do to have any underlings getting too big for their britches & claiming valeria plays favourites. vex knows ofc (she probably helped put together the job valeria disappears on for a month lmao) & probably delvin.

[shy-magpie]

RQG 156

live blog under the cut

Heads up about half way through I realized I go a bit further into analysis on where Zolf & the Kobolds are mentally than some people might be comfortable with. Just as they trust us to back off if the episode gets to real, I am trusting you to close the tab if my little live blog is hitting you wrong. If it makes a difference I have years between me and the reason I relate to this stuff.

"In Memorium" they are trying to kill us Ah they lampshaded the speed intros Yes Alex it is rather Paris Right to Azu & Zolf. Oh he's jumping right in. And there's my first pause of the episode. No “better” isn't a magic finish line you pass then never find yourself in that place again. No, knowing that doesn't mean you don't wonder if your back at square one every time you realize You Are In A Bad Place and Not Handling it Well. Gosh Azu is good at this. Yeah learning to walk away is hard. Learning to ignore the part of yourself that says "and never come back for their sake" is harder. Symbolic much Alex (Zolf is too small for the room, Azu is too large) Yeah it would be easier to not blame Zolf for last episode if I related to him a bit less. Okay they are talking about Hamid and their concerns for him directly. Yeah Hamid's relationship with power & privilege is an arc; and without the Doylist level of trusting Bryn & Alex, I can see where even if you trust/like him you'd be worried about it. With the best of intentions people misuse power. Azu quoted Grizzop at Zolf. Didn't name him, wonder if Zolf is ever going ask directly about his replacement in canon or if its best left to fic. Its easy to dismiss one's own successes. Okay fair and OW, Zolf isn't up to talking about Sasha; which is the part of this I was most prepared for. Hell yeah! He is coming down but not going to be attempting to lead so as to relieve pressure on himself. Maybe if he can let Hamid step up without making a Kew Garden thing he'll see how much he's grown. Hopefully without that setting off a "Hamid does better without me" thing. Yeah intellectual knowledge and it feeling real on an emotional level are very different things. Alex, why does it matter what order they are in? ALEX? The necklace? The Heart of Aphrodite shaped necklace? Azu got a Sign from Aphrodite approving of her reaching out to Zolf as an act of love. Yes! Blue Black no take backs! Yeah those two (players) know exactly what they are doing: breaking my heart in the best ways and not skipping over the actual work those two (characters) need to put into their relationship with OOC "its all fine now"s. Ok that settles the timeline, Azu went up same night, the device isn't made yet. Yeah Zolf wouldn't, probably best to back off while things are tender while being present enough to assure he isn't planning on leaving. Seriously bless Azu, this has to be at least as hard on her as Helen but she is letting the boys have room to work it out for themselves instead of "trying to help". The last thing either of them need right now is pressure especially on this point. Aw the Kobolds teach Cel draconic. Oh smart kid, not only is it just logical for the Kobolds to work with Cel directly, it might help them get over the "looking to see if the boss approves of how you breathe" stage. Especially if he is clear about not being threatened by them having advantage over him in this area. Heck of a relief this isn't hitting my rank issues. Ooh all the Kobolds are amazing engineers, wonder if its a Kobold thing or if Skraak recruited people with similar interests. Nice rework of the "Kobolds build traps" thing from pathfinder. I genuinely love how instead of pitching the original description of Kobolds out the window, Alex has backwards engineered it. Reputation for traps isn't a dishonorable approach to fighting, its a sign of their skill. They aren't minions, their trauma is interacting with a cultural attitude about rank in weird ways. Oh Cel! Cel is amazing. Under Shoin's orders they: made Magic Steroids, did maintenance (more towards the end as Shoin wasn't taking care of things), built the place initially, sourced ingredients, other Kobolds built the Mechkraken. Damn Shoin, they can't even be proud of all they were able to do in adverse circumstances because he tainted it. If they weren't forced to do it and have it used for ill ends, building the kraken would be impressive. A lot of that sounds like difficult work. Hamid stuff: yeah it is from a place of fear; and they would be hypersensitive and need to try to "defend him" so he doesn't react. Terrified of his anger? Handle anything that even annoys him to cut it off at the pass. And being a good person who doesn't like scaring them, Hamid is going to over do the very "Mary Sunshine" routine that makes Zolf think he doesn't appreciate the gravity of the situation. You'd think Mr "do a grief later" would get that Hamid doesn't have to walk the halls wailing to be aware of the end of the world. Not that the kid can win, if he cried and threw up it would be proof he hasn't grown from season one. Hopefully by taking a back seat Zolf will have a chance to see Hamid's actions and realize being chipper & wholesome doesn't mean stupid. Oh Alex has thought this through, one of these days I'll quit being surprised he actually gets this stuff. Not being able to read the person whose emotions feel like life & death is a Bad Thing. Thank Alex for Skraak. Weird seeing this stuff from this side, of course learning to focus on my end instead of being preoccupied with what was going on in the heads of people who were on Hamid's end of it was rather the point. Perfect balance, Hamid gives them enough space to realize he isn’t going to explode, Skraak "translates" into something clear enough not to stress them out. Like when Zolf snapped at Skraak when he pledged to Hamid; might not be pretty but not knowing what The Powers That Be want? Very bad place. Rank and clear orders are very important when appeasing those who outrank you is everything. Cel has dealt with a lot of young and unsure apprentices!?! Yeah well Cel isn't in their chain of command and gears don't get offended if you have an opinion on the right way to configure them. Cel is great Azu & Hamid talking about Zolf! Helen is wonderful! I thought this was going to be drawn out and indirect, instead they are actually facing things head on and dealing with them. Aw these two are so good for each other. Azu would set aside her own emotions. Hot damn Azu, getting right to it! Hamid can be amazingly open about his self awareness and it surprises me every time. It fits him and is a very good thing, but going from answering "how are you?" with "the Kobolds are doing well" to "I never knew how to help him" without it being jarring made me do quite the double take. Guess I was expecting more deflection. Yeah well you two are redefining your boundaries, entire relationship, and rank in specific, while being the perhaps the only people with enough of the picture to figure out how to save the world. Working out the balance between conflicting views on that, when neither of you knows what the end will look like was never going to be smooth. Oh yes and none of you have directly addressed that half of Zolf's rank & dick measuring stuff is because he doesn't know if he even has a role if he isn't The Boss or The Healer.* Oh the grin in Alex's voice as he tells them there is something else before the brorb interview. Whisky tumblers for each? Quite a sigh there Ben News? Big news? While they were in the institute? They ought to sit down. Wilde get to it. Ah Azu & Hamid are holding hands. Poor kid with his prop. Letter? Ancient Rome? Sasha? Are all the fics coming true? Their founder "Askingus"!?! Oh Sasha, oh Zolf! Lydia! Oh the kids! She named the kids after the party. She even found her faith. A break? How the hell are we only half way through the episode. Also hell yeah Lydia deserves all the awards, that was an amazing letter. XD Ben! Oh Hamid, we reacted that way to the epilogue that way too. It really is okay, it was a good end. Yeah he could use a drink. Poor Zolf. Hamid gives Wilde a hug. "technically I think that makes Sasha my boss". XP be cryptic Alex, The RSB will have it figured out by Friday. Ok Zolf got to read the letter on his own. Azu lit 3 candles, because Helen wants me to cry. Hamid is at Zolf's door with a bottle and two glasses. Lydia this is a compliment to your skill. More direct than I expected from Hamid. Oh these two! Okay he is drunk enough to go there (angry at Zolf for leaving but he gets it). About time someone told Zolf directly he's grown. Aw Zolf puts him to bed. Thank you Alex! Ben! (okay fair, if any of Hamid was left he'd cuddle). Sorry Cel! Lydia wanted to break/heal our hearts more than she wanted the plot to move forward ;) Good plan: take the orb to the anti magic field, only those who have already talked to it can talk directly. Info control. Hive mind/telepathy directly addressed. Finally what Shoin eats is addressed. Ok Cel has some teeth on them. Hasn't fed it, is using the vibration to threaten to explode his brain, (no English doesn't have enough pronouns we are working on it)... Oh good point better feed it. Aw Zolf is possessive of the kitchen. Shoin is still Shoin. Cel is not happy about not being recognized. Nice to hear the boys working together. The Infection might block him from being directly aware of  being infected. Bullsh$% he backed himself up. Good point Zolf even if he does, they are separate lives, this instance can still fear death. Oh all the party have teeth, nice they don't have the "good guys have to be sweet & gentle with the baddies" thing Yeah Cel isn't stupid, the brorbs arm isn't a threat. Oh auto painting that will make the people theorizing on the bio side of how the Brorb works happy. A circulatory diagram, and am ocean of faces. Paints like a printer. A creepy charcoal sketch of London staring at the artist. *I swear on Rusty Tower if they let him hurt himself any worse because he thinks his new role is "a brick wall on wheels" I am joining the line to fight Ben in a Whetherspoons parking lot. Yes it would be in character but so would healing. There are other hills. Although seriously its been great having a character that shows so many of the aspects of depression that usually get left out. That Zolf is also a three dimensional character with a full personality beyond just "the one with mental health issues" while not making it look like those issues are tacked on or easy to handle? Stunning work.  

[persephoneofhades]

the thing is i don't think ben and ryn don't work on their own, i think they have a real connection and definitely deep feelings for one another and always have (i'd even argue ryn developped romantic feelings for ben awhile before she developped those for maddie) and i think the fandom acts like they don't work or don't have chemistry because it's the "hetero" leg of the triad which makes zero sense to me

ryn being involved with ben even without maddie doesn't make her any less queer and the same can be said for maddie's involvement with robb. they're both still queer women and they're also and that's something the fandom can't wrap their heads around for some reason but they're both polyamorous. i could see maybe maddie being happy in a monogamous relationship but ryn is polyamorous so i don't understand this fantasy that's been pushed of maddie/ryn and ben completely pushed to the side

if the both of them weren't in love with him just as much as they're in love with each other i could maybe see it but the fandom needs to reckon with the fact that ben pownall is a part of this triad and even though he has acted all kinds of reckless and shitty right now (he can thank the song for that really) he is still at his core a good person. it's just funny to me how quick fandom wants to turn on him

to me the siren fandom sometimes acts when it comes to ben's addiction the same way maddie does when it comes to susan, by that i mean hostile, no understanding and no support. and god bless maddie, i love her but her views on addiction really aren't something to emulate because she doesn't even seem to understand it as the illness it is which makes it all the more understandable why she's the last person ben would reach out to for help unfortunately

Okay, since these are long, I will again attack each ask separately if I can and this will likely get long again, so I will also put it under a cut again.

These asks are starting to sound a little bitter, so while I do love discussing the show, let’s maybe keep the “the fandom needs to do this” to more of a minimum. It’s not my job to police how the fandom ships people together on this show.

Okay, so starting with Ben/Ryn. I think Ben and Ryn COULD work on their own and HAVE in certain episodes/scenes. The issue that comes up with Ben and Ryn that’s always been there and has never been there for Maddie/Ryn or Maddie/Ben is the Song and Ben’s long-term addiction to it. Ben and Maddie were in love long before either of them ended up addicted to the Song and Maddie and Ryn were able to build a relationship away from it, too. But Ben’s feelings for Ryn, while I believe the show when it tells us that his love for her was not CREATED by the Song, has certainly been influenced by it a bit. And even if we, for the sake of argument, say that the Song has not influenced his feelings at all, it’s still influenced his BEHAVIOR. Ben gets really erratic when Ryn isn’t around, really restless. His impulsivity and obsessive nature gets amplified due to the Song and so his behavior regarding Ryn is really really different than we used to see in his relationship with Maddie or what we see in Maddie’s relationship with Ryn.

Personally? Since it was unclear for a while how much of Ben’s feelings were influenced by the Song or not, their relationship has always been somewhat questionable. Ben becomes less and less predictable the longer he’s addicted to that Song to the point now that he’s lying to both the women he loves about really big things that he knows they won’t like and/or will be uncomfortable with. And that’s something I think IS a side-effect of the Song because Maddie got involved in the mission with Ryn pretty quick, he TRUSTED Maddie to be his partner in whatever he had gotten himself into. They WERE partners.

And I think Ben and Ryn have had some really cute moments, I do. I think that Ryn and Ben are also both super fucking impulsive, though, and Ryn is only just starting to learn how to think things through a little more while Ben is steadily LOSING his ability to think things through so by Season 3 their relationship to me seems super dysfunctional and not necessarily super healthy. It’s starting to feel like Ben is getting almost POSSESSIVE of Ryn and is clinging to her as the only thing keeping him going, the only thing that’s keeping him SANE (as much as he even can be right now). And that’s not ideal. Whereas Maddie and Ryn are SUPER open with each other still, we’ve seen them have several conversations about their relationship and how Robb fits into that and Maddie’s break-up with Ben, etc. The ONLY conversation we’ve seen like that with Ben was when Ryn calls him out on the injections. And even then he doesn’t open up about where he’s getting the injections or the fact that he’s re-addicted himself to her Song. He’s still lying to her, he’s still not being open and honest with her.

So while I don’t MIND Bryn as a ship, I don’t they’ve gotten to a really unhealthy stage in their relationship and it needs to fall apart before it can get better. Because while Ben is obviously dealing with a sickness none of them know about, he still needs to be held accountable for some of the things he’s done and Ryn will have every right to be upset about BOTH of the things he’s still hiding from her.

And finally, (wow still on the first ask) Bryn are NOT the only “hetero” leg of the triangle. I think you’ve entirely forgotten that Maddie and Ben are ALSO a “hetero” leg of the triangle. Obviously they’re broken up at the moment, but if we’re considering Polymarine as a closed triad, then there are TWO “hetero” legs to that triangle. I’ve loved Ben and Maddie as a couple since episode 1, they were SO GOOD in season 1, they were an incredible team that was so open and honest with each other and complemented each other’s flaws and virtues really well and had such similar values and just clearly really loved each other. Ben and Maddie were AWESOME.

Okay, moving on to the second ask.

I agree with you, all THREE people in that relationship are canonically polyamorous and Ryn and Maddie are both wlw, as well (I’d definitely headcanon Ben as mlm as well, but that’s not technically canon yet). And those things remain true no matter whether they’re in a monogamous relationship or a heterosexual relationship or not. I have in fact posted SEVERAL things to that exact effect, so you’re sort-of preaching to the choir with this one.

THAT BEING SAID. People are allowed to ship who they want to ship, that’s really none of your business. Lots of people really like Maddie/Ryn but maybe aren’t so solid on Bryn or just Ben as a character and that’s FINE. He’s certainly not my PERSONAL favorite of the triad, but I’ve liked his relationships with Maddie and Ryn in the past and he’s been really cool as a character individually in the past, too. I wouldn’t ship Polymarine if I didn’t like Ben. But ship and let ship, it’s not a terrible thing that people prefer Maddie/Ryn on their own to Polymarine and would prefer Ben not be in the picture so much. As you say yourself, even if they ship Maddie/Ryn without Ben, it doesn’t actually take away from either character being polyamorous. Polyamorous people CAN be in monogamous relationships.

As for Ryn and Maddie still being wlw even when they’re given male love interests, I think the issue here is that wlw in main character roles of a show like this are still relatively uncommon and it’s frustrating to all the wlw who watch this show to have to see Ryn and Maddie only get a couple cheek kisses while Ryn and Ben go on a romantic underwater swim and get full on-the-mouth kisses and sleep in beds together. Ryn and Maddie’s romantic scenes this season have definitely been diminished and PALE in comparison to what we see with Bryn and even with Robb/Maddie recently. I want to believe it’s because they’re just that solid and so we don’t “need” to see them be super romantic to remind us that they’re together and in love, but I can understand the frustration and the worry that the queer polyamorous representation is going to get sidelined so that Bryn can take center stage and Maddie can get shoved off with someone else. While I don’t believe it will happen and I’m choosing to stick with my theory that it’s just another obstacle for Polymarine to have to overcome in order to be stronger, there’s enough precedent in media for me to understand why people are VERY worried about this.

This third ask is mostly just bitterness, so I don’t want to spend super long on it. I’ve put down a bunch of reasons why people are less into Bryn than they have been into Raddie or even Baddie. Also, he is being super messy this season. The thing that’s difficult with just blaming the Song for all of his actions, though, is that they’ve told us that the Song doesn’t just create feelings, it simply seems to amplify them. Ben’s been impulsive and obsessive long before he met Ryn, it was just something he had a better handle on. Now, though, he doesn’t have a handle on it, but that facet of his personality has always been there. So we can’t blame the Song for all of it, we know that, while this is likely something he wouldn’t have gone through with pre-Song, the Song isn’t turning him into someone he’s not, either. Personally, I don’t feel like I can just exonerate Ben entirely by going “the Song made him do it.” I think Ben needs to take responsibility for his actions and recognize the effect that it’s had on other people in order to atone for them over time. He let a man die, that’s something he’s going to have to contend with. He disrespected the body one of Ryn’s tribemates, that’s something he’s going to have to contend with.

I feel like you’re being kind-of unfair to Maddie in this last ask. Maddie and Susan are MOTHER and DAUGHTER. Susan was supposed to take care of Maddie, not the other way around. Susan’s drug addiction likely caused Maddie to feel super abandoned and unloved as a child and it could even have brought her into dangerous situations the way it did in Season 2. And from what I remember, Susan didn’t seek help for a long time, something I can totally understand Maddie being upset about. Addiction is a disease, for certain, but if the person isn’t willing to even try to get better, I think that’s now on them. And, again, Maddie would have been a CHILD through most of this and is totally allowed to hold some bitterness about how she didn’t get a mom during her childhood the way she should have.

And the same is true of Ben. What happened to him originally with Ryn’s Song is by no means his fault, obviously, and I don’t think Maddie ever treats it like it is. But expecting her to remain in a relationship with him when she KNOWS how she’ll react to it due to her history with addiction seems super unfair. She’s choosing not to remain in a relationship where she might end up feeling abandoned and unloved again. And you know what? She ends up BREAKING that rule in Season 2 ANYWAY. She gets back into a relationship with him (and starts one with Ryn) while he’s still under the effects of the addiction and there’s no cure in sight. And then she gets addicted herself and they BOTH go get a cure when it becomes available. She stands by him as he struggles through the jealousy over Ryn’s mating season, as much as she stands by Ryn who is wary of Ben’s jealousy and how that may make him react.

What she’s doing now is acting hostilely to something that she has no idea is even RELATED to an addiction. It might be raising some red flags in her head that she’s got due to her mother’s issues with it, but as far as Maddie knows, the addiction didn’t cause him to let a man drown. If your partner that you thought you knew and believed was 100% NOT addicted to anything just suddenly let someone die when they could’ve saved them, would that NOT raise red flags for you? Or if you found out your partner who you KNOW got cured of their unwilling addiction just suddenly started exhuming graves for science experiments, particularly graves of people that are IMPORTANT TO HIS OWN GIRLFRIEND? Ben is doing some REAL shady stuff right now and while WE THE AUDIENCE know that Ben is sick and addicted to the Song, Maddie does not. That’s really important to remember. I’d go back and look at how Maddie and Ben interacted in late Season 1 and early Season 2 for how Maddie reacts to Ben when she KNOWS he’s addicted to the Song and compare that to her behavior now when she believes he’s been completely cured, the way she has. It’s not like it’s an assumption on her part, either, she had to get cured WITH HIM and she knows that she is fully cured, they saw the brain scans, so she has no reason to believe that Ben isn’t doing these things entirely of his own volition.

Ben isn’t choosing not to approach Maddie because he thinks she’s too hostile to ever want to help him through his illness/addiction. He’s choosing to lie to her and not ask her for help both because deep down he knows he’s in the wrong, and because of a combo of hurt over the break-up and what appears to be a clear attempt to give Maddie some space. It’s why he doesn’t tell RYN, either, he’s not just not approaching Maddie about this, he’s doing the exact same thing with Ryn, even though she DIDN’T break up with him over Ian’s death or get angry with him. He knows that what he’s doing would upset her, so he’s saying nothing. Maddie is not some hostile villain. She has her flaws, I’m not saying she doesn’t, but her decision to not want to be involved in a relationship with someone who has substance abuse issues due to a difficult past with a loved one who has substance abuse issues is not one of them. Expecting her to fix Ben while he’s being super dishonest with her and becoming a person she can’t even recognize anymore seems super unfair.

TL;DR I don’t think Bryn work right now any more than Baddie do and that is entirely on Ben for not being honest and open in his relationships and making BOTH “hetero” legs of the triangle become unhealthy and dysfunctional. Maddie and Ryn obviously are both able to be queer and polyamorous no matter who they’re dating or how many people they’re dating, so let people ship what they want if it’s what makes them feel good and isn’t hurting you. Ben’s actions are not all able to be blamed on the Song any more than his love for Ryn is a product of the Song, so even though he definitely is a good person at heart and can come back to that, he’s super annoying right now and I don’t blame people for being less interested in him as a character. Again, if it’s not hurting you, let people ship whatever they want. I think if you want people to be more compassionate towards Ben as a character, maybe you should think about being more compassionate towards Maddie and not call her “hostile” for being upset with her mother for not being able to truly be there for her and for abandoning her when she was young. Maybe you should not be blaming Maddie for not being a mind-reader and realizing that Ben’s still addicted to the Song instead of doing what’s best for her own mental health.

[unwiltingblossom]

Sigurd and Brynhildr are really the most stark and obvious illustration of the difference in the way Fate/Grand Order handles male fanservice and female fanservice, and how they deal with their male and female audience. Until we get Nefertari, or maybe someone like Actually Fate Shirou, they’re probably going to be the best comparison there is with the least wiggle room of ‘but there’s this’. They’re a couple who were released with a large gap of time between them (unlike Ryouma and Oryou or even Aster/Euryale Teach/Drake), and so exist as their own characters. It’s not a case of unrequited or uneven love, and neither had a harem.

Anyway. Sigurd and Bryn. Let’s talk about how they differ. (there are pictures)

Bryn is an unimportant bonus character introduced early in FGO for a special download campaign because she was popular in a different Fate work. She had very little presence in the early game, and only one rate up for two years. Sigurd is a significant character from one chapter in part 2, and for at least a year I think he’s only had just one rate up. Both of their designs are meant to be fanservice and cool.

This is Bryn’s FA -

This is the famous Valkyrie warrior, cursed to kill who she loves. She’s wearing a Japanese school girl outfit and armor that conveniently shows off her breasts, short skirt, thighs, long neck and one of her shoulders. She’s also in heels. Her ascensions are fairly weak, as this was an early game character, so they just put the armor on her that you see here. She’s posing in an alluring and girly way, blushing at the viewer, as the camera is angled upward to look at her goods.

This is Sigurd, the warrior king/prince’s final ascension. He’s in full mecha armor, with only his face exposed. He’s standing sturdily, looking cool and with his weapons at the ready, prepared for battle. The camera is from above, so that you won’t see much below his shoulders, almost completely obscuring his chest and abs, even  covered by armor as they are. His ascension path - despite being new - is similarly boring, starting with a full fask mask to top off his armor, then showing off his glasses, then finally ending up like this, maskless. The tone and mood of this is completely the opposite of Bryn’s tranquil scene.

Their valentines and white day CEs are deliberately similar, so I’ll show those, too.

Brynhildr’s frozen chocolate (not meant to be eaten)

Sigurd’s return gift (meant to be worn)

As you can see, they are intentionally meant to be similar. Their bond CEs are also intentionally referencing each other, as Brynhildr’s is named after him, and Sigurd’s is named after her valentine’s CE. Thus, the ways that they’re different are deliberate and significant.

Right out from the gate, we can see that Brynhildr is designed to look feminine and sexy. Her final art is clearly geared toward making her appealing to waifu. Sigurd is designed to look cool. There’s no sex appeal in his design or in his final art. The only part of him that is designed to make a husband lover swoon is that he wears glasses and is voiced by a person who usually voices heart throb characters.

But it goes deeper.

Their My Room lines differ significantly.

As you talk with Brynhildr, she’ll mention that she is intentionally avoiding falling for anyone, because if she loves them, she’s cursed to be driven to try to kill them. As you build bond with her, she inevitably fails to resist Guda, and ends up in love by the end, now determined to hold herself off from harming this person she loves.

As you talk with Sigurd, he’ll mention that he doesn’t believe there’s any room for even friendship between master and servant. He’s cold and abrupt. As  you build bond with him, he’ll slowly warm up and realize that despite himself he’s become friends and then very tightly attached to the master - to the point where he’ll compromise his own sense of morality and look the other way if necessary. Love, however, is not mentioned at all.

When Sigurd debuted, he debuted with a line for Brynhildr, and she was given a line for him. Sigurd’s line is him saying that he will prove his everlasting love for Brynhildr. Brynhildr mentions how long it’s been without him, and waffles about whether or not she can now continue to be the master’s servant, but ultimately decides that no matter what, she’ll never hurt the master.

S: “ Brynhildr, is it... She tries to prove her love with that murderous impulse. That makes me happy, but, unfortunately, I will be unable to prove the love I feel towards her if I die. I must survive and also let that love be proven. A difficult thing to accomplish, don't you think... “

B: “Oh, finally ... That person finally came here ... ... .... I understand ...... I just can not understand it. Master, I would like to be your servant if possible. But, if, if ... .... No, nothing. No matter what, Sigurd or I will not hurt you.”

As you can see: just in these lines, Brynhildr’s line is still directly romantic toward Sigurd, but also keeps the master in the situation. And this is worth noting, because a common argument could be ‘oh, Brynhildr  was early on, they didn’t know what they were doing, so of course she was made waifu’. Her line for Sigurd is modern (not counting other stuff she appears in), and it remains in the same tone as she’s always had. Sigurd’s is nothing but gushing love for Bryinhildr.

Let’s talk briefly about their roles so far in the story, now.

Bryn’s first *story* appearance is in LB2, same as Sigurd. However, before that she appeared in a few other events, most significantly JAlter’s event. This is relevant, because in this story Brynhildr is yandere dedicated to JAlter, fostering JAlter/Bryn yuri in fandom for years. In this event, it’s not ‘technically’ Brynhildr who loves JAlter, but a copy of her. She appears in other limited capacities after this point, but they’re not that significant.

Sigurd’s is similar. When he appears in LB2, he’s romantically attached in a yandere level to Ophelia (not important who this is, it’s a girl). Technically, it’s not him, as he’s actually possessed by another being while he’s behaving this way. However, unlike Bryn, who remains yandere for JAlter all event long until she dies, Sigurd is able to escape this and has a romantic time with Brynhildr, which people who like Sigurd x Bryn will be happy to go into detail talking about, as it gets plenty of focus.

Now, finally, their Valentines scenes. The scenes are generally accepted to be at least some level of fanservice between the master and the chosen servant. It may be romantic, sexual, platonic, or familial, but the relationship is still the focus of it.

Brynhildr’s scene is from the original round of valentines, so her scene is shorter than later scenes, and it’s straightforward. She says that she wants to express her love for the master, and so in the process of expressing her love for her hero, the master, she created glasses that looked similar to the ones Sigurd wears. She determines that the glasses will definitely suit the master (the chocolate is not meant to be eaten, it’s magically frozen), because the master is her hero, much like Sigurd was. She does mention that Sigurd is the person ‘she loved’, but it’s clear her feelings for the master are both separate and also romantic.

Sigurd’s scene just got released this round. It’s a nice, thoughtful gift where Sigurd gives the master special glasses that will protect the master’s eyes from strain, damage from light, or attacks by beasts or enemies less powerful than servants. And they’re stylish. However, it’s strictly a friendship gesture, as aside from the master getting flustered by him leaning in close to compute the proper measurements for the glasses, there’s not any kind of flirtation or indication of any kind of romantic or sexual feelings for the master. And even worse, one of the times that Sigurd blushes is not when Guda gives him chocolate - he considers that a matter of course - but when he mentions Brynhildr. How does he mention her? By hinting that they did something romantic or sexual for valentines day.

Yeah, that’s right. During a white day/valentine’s scene with Sigurd, the only romantic context involved is hinting that Sigurd did the nasty with someone else that day.This is the same problem that Paracelsus and Saber Diarmuid have (and what Arthur had, until they retconned it as a half-hearted attempt to make up for having nothing for White Day last year), where instead of talking about themselves or the master during their bond lines, they talk about someone else. Except it’s even worse, because at least bond lines can be excused with the idea that sharing thoughts about an important person can be a sign of closeness (though these lines really don’t work like that). Valentines/White Day has only one purpose. It’s fluff fanservice. The only reason for including Bryn is to say that  the reason people like Sigurd is for his relationship with Brynhildr.

Now, remember that between these two, Brynhildr is the one who is more hung up on Sigurd in lore. She’s cursed to kill all who she loves due to her misery over killing Sigurd, who she loved. She’s further cursed to try to kill Sigurd because of this, making her character naturally Sigurd-focused. Sigurd, on the other hand, died because he was unfaithful to Brynhildr (in a passive way, but it still amounts to this) and has no associated fixations or curses with this. He’s just a normal person. If anyone should be leaking their love for the other into everything and hard-blocking romance with the master or anyone else, it should be Brynhildr, not Sigurd.

Just a quick note - yes, Brynhildr’s master used a command seal on her to get her to believe her enemies were Sigurd so that she’d kill them, but Rin used a command seal to prevent Archer from harming Shirou, too. Command Seals don’t stay in effect when they’ve been summoned again by a different master in a different timeline. The closest that we have is that she’s drawn to love heroic figures, and because of her love for them she hearkens it back to Sigurd. It’s not a berserker Kiyohime or Phantom thing  (which is another kind of unpleasant comparison to make) where they think the master is someone that the master isn’t. The master merely reminds Bryn of Sigurd *because* she loves them, she doesn’t love them because they remind her of Sigurd.

So.

That was rather lengthy, but I wanted to go over all the differences, because on their own, people like to try to pick it apart and downplay it. It’s worth noting that in Bryn’s bond CE it’s more about her love for Sigurd and in Sigurd’s bond CE there’s some indication of romance/sexual behavior with the master, but this is the only time it’s swapped like that.

The evidence here should speak for itself. Short of Nefertari debuting and being into the master, we probably wouldn’t get any more direct and obvious an illustration of how FGO deals with female players vs male ones than this. In this, we see that the female side of the romance has two separate existences - one in the main story where she realizes her romantic subplot with Sigurd, and one in the side story stuff/my room fanservice lines where she’s into the master. It’s not treated as weird or inappropriate to waifu her or for her to have romantic interests in people other than Sigurd despite her love for him being so important to her character and lore.

In the male side, Sigurd only exists to be romanced with Brynhildr. He has a nice little friendship built up with the master, but his story is all about his romance with Brynhildr, his design and FA is actively avoiding having him made up as a husband/swooning material, and even his valentine only has romantic fanservice for Sigurd/Bryn. If you’re not into Sigurd/Brynhildr, you’ve still got plenty to get from Brynhildr, but you’re SoL with Sigurd. This extends into fandom, as you’ll find plenty of Bryn/JAlter yuri and a good amount of Bryn/Guda art and material, but if you look for anything with Sigurd other than Bryn (or sometimes Ophelia, related to him being possessed), there just isn’t any. And don’t even hope to find Sigurd/Guda stuff, because there’s nothing.

And this is just how it is. That’s why Saber Diarmuid pointlessly has his lines all cluttered with talk about Artoria for no reason - when he hates her by the end of F/Z - but Semiramis barely speaks about Amakusa and instead flirts with the master. There’s the odd outlier like the Prince of Lanling who is super dere for the master and Tomoe who friendzones the master, but for the most part, the women are almost entirely designed with the explicit intent of making them moe, waifu-able, and romanceable. The men...aren’t.

And this double standard is pretty vexing, as someone who is more interested in swoonable husbands than moe waifu.

If you somehow don’t believe me about all this, just wait for Nefertari and Haydee to debut. If they’re summonable, wait for their blushing my room lines and valentines scenes where they acknowledge their feelings for Dantes/Ozy, but confess anyway. And if they’re not, well...even Nobukatsu experiences this compared to Nobunaga (Nobunaga having a mostly naked FA, romantic content for the master, and a full fanservice alt character, and Nobukatsu again having 100% of his character entirely based on being moe toward Nobunaga, with zero room for the master in that).

[thegirlwiththeunicornheart]

All Was Well - HP fanfic

Harry Potter was 11 years old when he discovered that was not in fact, Harry Potter.

In the midst of expecting nothing for his birthday (or even to be said about it, because that was life with the Dursley’s) Harry’s world turned upside down on the day of his birthday.

He woke up as normal, in his cupboard. Dudley jumping down the stairs above him, causing clouds of dust to explode out onto him, and spiders clinging desperately to their webs to as not to fall.

Aunt Petunia was on fine form, storming around the kitchen, barking out commands at Harry, who was still half asleep as he tried to simultaneously fry the bacon, wash the dishes and catch the toast before it burnt.

The mayhem started seconds after the family (plus Harry) had sat down to eat breakfast. The first sign that anything was out of the ordinary, was the constant banging on the front door.

Uncle Vernon, not normally a patient man, burst from his seat ‘What in the ruddy hell is going on?!’ He shouted.

He stormed into the hallway to open the front door, but before he could even ask the group of the doorstep what all the banging was about, they had burst in, and forced their way into the dining room.

‘Ah. Harry.... or not Harry, as it seems.’ Said the man in the dress with the long white beard.

‘Ummmmm...’ was all Harry (or not-Harry) could utter.

Over the course of the next hour, dress man (professor Dumbledore, as it turned out) and his gang of followers attempted to explain the mix up to not-Harry and his, well, not-family.

It seemed, then ten years ago, on the fateful night of Halloween, two families had been destroyed. One, by Lord Voldemort (not-Harry had already vowed to get a pet tortoise and name it ‘voldytort’) who had killed a small babies parents, and the other by a lumbering man by the name of Hagrid (who was awkwardly shuffling around behind the couch, head bowed in order to not hit the ceiling... again.)

From what not-Harry could gather, Hagrid had been tasked with collecting real-Harry from the ruins of his home only moments after his parents had been murder, and inexplicably, the Dark Lord had been vanquished.

There seemed to have been a small accident while Hagrid was flying (flying?!?) his motorbike over the Welsh coast, and real-Harry (in true 1 year old fashion) had been wriggly, and had slipped from Hagrid’s grasp, presumably falling to his untimely death.

In recounting the story, Hagrid assured them that he had immediately landed the bike and searched fruitlessly for real-Harry for near to an hour. In his desperation to please Dumbledore, and not be sent back to Azkaban (not-Harry had shivered at the description of the wizarding prison) Hagrid had made a rather unwise choice, and proceeded to break into a nearby house and kidnap their baby.... not-Harry.

Not-Harry has been delivered to Dumbledore outside of 4 Privet Drive, a little later than expected, with no one any the wiser.

The flaw in Hagrids plan, was of course two fold. 1) not-Harry had no magic to speak of, and 2) real-Harry, in some act of self protective magic had drifted gently to the ground (miles away from where Hagrid had searched) and had been discovered the following morning by hikers, who had promptly called the local police. Real-Harry (still names Harry, thanks to the embroidered name on his blanket) had been taken in a few weeks later by a lovely young local couple. Huw Thomas has been one of the hikers who had found the poor little babi while walking the bryniau and when he’d finally made it home to tell his wife Alis, she’s not stopped nagging at him until he’d contact the police to find out what was happening to the babi.

And so, Harry Thomas grew up happy, healthy and loved in Cei Newydd, Ceredigion, Wales. His life was anything but exceptional. He went to school, he played soccer with his friends, Saturday’s were for chores and playing, Sunday’s for Welsh Chapel. If anything, Harry Thomas would say that his life was pretty boring. Good, but boring.. until the night leading into the 31st of July (an ordinary night for Harry, who had had his birthday guesstimated as May 17th, and was already 11...) when an owl with a letter clutched in its talons, knocked in the kitchen window while he and his Mam were washing the dishes.

Alis screamed, Harry shrieked. Huw came running. The owl, kept knocking.

Eventually, Huw opened the window and the owl dropped the letter. It sat on the windowsill , blinking, well... owlishly at them. Huw, noticing the name on the front ‘Harry Potter, The Kitchen, The Blue House, Cai Newydd, Ceredigion, Cymru.’ said in a rather stunned voice to Harry, ‘I assume this is for you?’

Passing it over, Huw put the kettle on for a cup of tea, and thinking better of it, opened the liquor cabinet about the fridge and pulled out a bottle of whiskey.

Harry, who was staring at the envelope in awe, finally opened it up, breaking the great wax seal on the back, and slipped the letter out.

Reading it out loud to his parents, who spluttered over their whiskey as he read the part about ‘school of witchcraft and wizardry’, Harry felt his insides glow. Suddenly, it all made sense.

It seems that his Tad had similar thoughts, and after flinging back the last of the liquor in his glass, Huw cleared his throat, and in his broad Welsh accent said ‘Well, this does explain a lot... the floating toys, the soccer goals you make when the goalie shouldn’t have missed it.... the priests hair colour change a few Sundays ago....’

In short order, a response letter had been written out (on Alis’ floral writing paper) and given to the owl who had been patiently waiting.

Within the hour, a Professor Dumbledore, an awkward giant of a man by the name of Hagrid and a furious Professor McGonagall had turned up on the doorstep of The Blue House.

Several hours of apologies, explanations, some hysterical shrieking from Professor McGonagall later, Harry and his parents had a fairly good understanding of what had happened. From Harry’s point of view, he was sad that his birth parents has died in such an awful way, but it had also given him a sense of closure. He had not been abandoned like he’d wondered about his entire life. He was concerned that the principal of a school had been in charge of sending his groundskeeper to pick up an orphaned baby, and that the same man had then gone on to KIDNAP a baby to replace the carelessly dropped Harry.

By the time the professors and Hagrid had left, Harry and his parents had collapsed into the sitting room sofa, staring blankly at the muted TV.

‘Um... is anyone else a little bit concerned over this whole dropping a baby and kidnapping another one deal?’ Harry finally uttered.

‘Yes.’ Both of his parents responded with such force, that Harry knew that they wouldn’t be letting it go, something would be done.

Hours later, not-Harry was sitting on the couch in the living room of 4 Privet Drive, wondering the exact same thing.

‘So...’ he said out loud to the Professors and Hagrid, ‘I have a family? Who I was kidnapped from?’ (Hagrid winced) ‘and..... the real-me is living an amazing life out there and I got stuck HERE?!’

Version Dursley made to argue Harry’s attitude, but shit his mouth quickly at a glare from McGonagall.

‘That does seem to be the case.’ Said Professor Dumbledore tiredly. It had after all, been quite a night and morning.

By the time Professor Dumbledore and Hagrid had left (they had both offered to accompany not-Harry back to his birth family but he had refused to go anywhere with either of them so vehemently that Professor McGonagall had had to step in and announce that she would do the honours) Harry has packed up his merger belongings and was waiting beside the front door while McGonagall had a whispered argument with the Dursley’s.

‘I KNOW he’s not your ‘real’ nephew , but you’ve raised him for the last ten years, surely you want to say goodbye?!’

Harry looked on pitifully at McGonagall as she tried to comprehend the stupidly of his not-family. He wasn’t sad to leave, wasn’t sorry to be rid of them. And on that note, not-Harry swiftly turned and opened the door. ‘Well, bye then.’ He stated, walking out.

McGonagall caught up to him at the end of the driveway. She said nothing, but he could see the look of pity in her eyes.

Nothing could have prepared Owain and Carys Jones for the disappearance of their baby son ten years earlier. Owain had been at the fire station working the night shift, and Carys and the baby at her sisters for a girls night, when their one year old had gone missing from the spare room.

That heart stopping phone call Owain has answered at 1am from his sister-in-law Bryn. ‘Owain he’s gone. The baby is gone, we don’t know what.... where’s... the police are here.’

Owain had dropped everything. He get like ten years later, he still hadn’t managed to pick it all up again.

It’d been hard. Harder than anything he’d ever imagined in life. He and Carys had had tough patches, moments where he was certain they’d never be able to stick it out... moments where one of the other of them had walked away for a few days. But they’d pulled it together.

They’d been terrified of having more kids, of it happening again... no matter how much people tried to convince them that it was one of those freak incidents, unlikely to ever happen again in their local are, let alone to them.... it was hard.

Owain thought that the hardest past was the lack of closure. Their son hadn’t died.... they hoped. He’d disappeared, and they had no idea how or why or where.... until the morning of July 31st.

Nearly ten years after their sons disappearance, while Owain was shoving bread into the toaster, Carys was running around finding missing homework, and their two kids were pulling on school uniforms as fast as they could, the doorbell rang.

‘Bloody hell.’ Owain had muttered under his breath, their 7 year old Evelyn giggling hysterically and pointing at the swear jar. Owain signed, shoved a few coins in the jar and went to open the door.

There, standing on the doorstep, was the most unlikely pair you could ever have imagined. Both tall, but one more like a giant - the shorter man with a long white beard and a purple... gown? The white bearded man smiled gently - almost sheepishly, and said ‘Mr Jones? I believe we might have some news for you... about your missing son.’

Owain Jones was not a weak man. He pulled people out of burning buildings, scaled ladders, crawled through smoke filled rooms. But in this moment, he could have sworn his knees had turned to jelly and his hand dung out to grip the stair railing behind him.

‘Carys!’ He bellowed, and then in a softer voice said ‘you’d best come in then.’

What followed (after Carys had called his sister and asked her to pick up Evelyn and 5 year old Noah and take them to school) was hours of tears. Anger, yelling, threats to call the police.... and more tears.

Finally, the doorbell rang again, and Dumbledore, shooing Owain back into his seat, stood and went to open it.

‘Ah, Harry. Minerva.’

Quietly, timidly, not-Harry followed Dumbledore into the front room, and with a small smile on his face, looked at Owain and Carys and said ‘hi....’

Carys promptly burst into tears again, and Owain without embarrassment did the same.

Pulling themselves together rather quickly, they both stood, and Carys, face stained with tears approached Harry. ‘Can I.... can I hug you?’

He nodded, and she flung her arms around him, murmuring words, sentences, everything the boy who had never been loved, had wanted to hear since the moment he’d been left on the doorstep of 4 Privet Drive.

Time passed, Dumbledore and Hagrid quietly left and Minerva set herself to bustling around the kitchen making tea and sandwiches (by now it was well past 1pm) for everyone.

By the time sandwiches had been consumed, tea had been drunk, Harry had been cuddled many, many times, and Professor McGonagall had spoken a out the legalities (that mostly seemed to include an awful lot of magical jargon and wiping of certain people’s memories) it was later than they had realised. The sound of feet pounding up the front walk, the front door being flung open (bouncing off the wall much to Owains horror, who yelled ‘Evelyn, the wall!’) and two tiny versions of not-Harry (who it turned out really was Harry, just Harry Jones, not Harry Potter) skidded into the room, their mouths hanging open at the sight.

Introductions, hugs, squeals of delight... Minerva leaving, dinner and bathes, and Harry found himself tucked into the trundle bed in his little brother (he had a little brother!!!!) Noah’s room. His mum (he had a mum!!) was crouched on the floor next to him, having pulled the covers up tight, and was in the process of him tenth goodnight hug. His dad (he had a dad!!) was standing in the doorway, having just tucked Evelyn in, and was smiling crookedly at the sight before him.

‘Come in love, he’ll never sleep if you keep kissing him.’ He said to Carys, who reluctantly pulled away, and leaning over Harry, gave Noah one final kiss goodnight.

As Owain came into the room to kiss his sons goodnight, Harry thought to himself, that he wouldn’t mind not sleeping if it meant that he got to have his mother kissing and hugging him all night.

Owain leaned down over him, as Harry’s eye dropped, a large yawn taking over his face. Owain smiled, ruffled Harry’s hair gently, kissed his forehead and murmured ‘Nos da cariad. Cysga’n dawel.’

Later on that night, after the normal nightly routine of making lunches, folding laundry and checking on the kids (Harry a dozen or so times) Owain and Carys were finally in their own bed.

Carys rolled over to face her husband and grinned at him. ‘I keep thinking I’m going to wake up and it’ll all be a dream.’ She whispered.

Owain reaches out his hand and stroked the side of her face, his hand drifting down to rest under her chin. ‘It’s not a dream. It’s real cariad.’ He murmured, leaning forward to press and hold his lips against her forehead.

In this position, they drifted off the sleep, dreaming only happy dreams, of love and laughter, a full house, of the mystery of magic..... and of a whole family. Finally.

In his sleep, Harry Jones smiled, firmly tucked under his covered by him mother, dreaming in images of parents and siblings, love and happiness. He awoke in the still darkness of the morning to his brother and sister whispering (loudly) and drawling into bed with him, knowing he was loved, knowing he would be happy, and knowing that his parents were definitely going to buy him that tortoise....

Miles away, in Cei Newydd, Harry Thomas (formally Potter) dreamed of magic. Of wizards and spells, of unicorns and dying motorbikes. He awoke to the dim morning light, safe in the knowledge that his parents would never let him go to Hogwarts, never let him near the apparent insanity of that Dumbledore man, or the reckless dangerousness of Hagrid. That he would never have to fight the battle that they spoke of against this Lord Whatsy-mould.... Harry, was safe. He was loved, and his family would protect him.

Back at the Joneses house, Owain and Carys had expected to wake the normal busy hubbub of week day mornings, instead, they were woken by the giggles of their three children, and they crept into bed with their mum and dad.

All was well.

Welsh phrases/words:

‘Nos da cariad. Cysga’n dawel.’ - Good night love, sweet dreams.

Babi - baby

Mam - mum

Tad - dad

Briniau - hills

Cei Newydd - New Quay

Ceredigion - Cardigan

Cymru - Wales

Names:

Huw - Welsh version of Hugh

Alis - Welsh version of Alice

Carys - means ‘loved one’

Owain - the Welsh version of Owen, means ‘noble-born’

[renegadesrpg]

Dark Angels: Creation. Part 22, Plans. Crossover with Soulmates

Sean: *It was entertaining, sitting here on the floor watching Layla play with the kitten. She's got such a nurturing instinct with it. If we could have young, she'd give all that to them. If we could have young. With a sigh, I start to lean over and kiss her when Sin's voice rings through my head. Abruptly I pull back as I answer 'Meet your there.' The other's chime in as well, affirming they would be as well.* Baby, I need to go. Sin is calling a meeting. It's here, the old church building on the grounds that Zav and Bryn have been using to cook up their spells, so I won't be far. Layla: *I look up from Bear and stand up* I'm going. I need to know exactly what's up Sean. I left the sidelines when they tried to kill me. So, let’s go. Sean: *I can't fault her logic. She's part of this now, even though I tried to keep her separate, keep her out of harm’s way. But that didn't happen and I blame myself. So now she needs to know. Being kept in the dark about what's going on now wouldn't be fair. And she could get herself in trouble trying to find out on her own, which I have no doubt she'd do. I would. With a nod, I take her hand.* Hold my hand. We're gonna mist there. Sin: *In seconds we rematerialize in the old church. Zav and Bryn are already there, working together on the spell for the trap at Callanish. Adrian appears beside their work bench, and finally, Sean forms in front of me. With Layla by his side. Raising an eyebrow at Sean, I choose to address the Chosen.* Layla. It is good, if somewhat unexpected, to see you. Are you well? Have you recovered from the attack? Layla: It’s good to see you as well Sin. All of you really. I'm happy you are all well. I know it’s unexpected but I insisted on knowing what was fully going down. As I said to Sean, I'm not on the sidelines anymore. I know I'm not much help overall but I still want to know. Sin: *Softening my expression,* I believe we have discussed before that your contribution to this effort is incalculable. And, as you have been discovered, I agree you need to be apprised of developments in order to be aware of anything unusual around you. *Behind me Celia and Declan stand down. At the appearance of the unexpected female they had dropped their hands from my shoulder to their weapons, as any good body guard would, but they had been discrete about it. I believed only Sean and I were aware of their sudden vigilance and subsequent acknowledgement that all was well.* Zav, Celia is prepared to guard your lady for the duration. Celia, you will check in with Declan every 8 hours on that device he gave you. By voice, although I am given to understand it also transmits the written word. And you may expect one of us to enter your mind at intervals to be sure all is well. I trust not that machine. Layla: *giggles lightly* Cell phones are good to have Sin and they don't bite. Your bodyguards have nothing to fear from me, promise. No need to hide anything either...raised to handle warriors, remember? *laughs* If it could be helpful, perhaps I can keep communications, via the phone, with Celia. That lessens stress on you all a wee bit. *shrugs* Sin: *nodding my head in acknowledgement* that is good of you Layla. It will be most helpful. And, it will be a way for us to keep in touch with you as well. Zav, Declan said you were the source of the devices. Please see that Layla has one with the appropriate means to communicate with all of us programmed in. Zav: *It's all that I can do /not/ to roll my eyes at my oldest friend's distrust of cell phones. I am aware of his age and power, but I'm of a similar age and my powers, while not as vast as his, aren't negligible either, and /I/ find cell phones very useful.* I'll see it's handled before we leave. Layla's right. They'll be useful. Not all of us can communicate mind-to-mind. But I agree with Sin, Celia. Your check-in's need to be by voice. If you're taken, anyone could pretend to be you by text. Celia: *I can feel Declan stiffen at the idea I could be captured. Before he can speak, I do.* You people act like I'm in danger or something. This is a powderpuff assignment and you know it. Yes, yes, I'll check in and I'm glad of the phones but I'll be fine. Seriously. Now can we get on with business? Sin:*Somehow I feel I have been subtly rebuked, but I dismiss it and move on.* Zav, you will take Celia and see her established with your lady, then check in with me and I will see where you are needed. Adrian, I would appreciate it if you would follow them in the half-world to act as another set of eyes. In that state you may be able to ascertain if she has observers. Sean, I bid you and Layla remain here with Bryn until I return. Declan and I are going to Caldwell. I wish to understand this warding Sean said kept the demons from being able to waylay Layla. Layla: It's called Mhis. It’s a magical illusion that hides physical environments. One of the warriors has magical gifts due to his mahmen being a deity. He created the Mhis to protect the mansion and grounds from enemies. Usually, he senses an intrusion or his computers do. This time I suspect those reapers could sneak through but their scent is what made me take notice. They smelled similar to our race's enemy, Lessors. Sin: *Looking at Layla with interest* Did they? Now that is something we were unaware of. Hmm...As he is a vampire, I must assume the warrior's mother is the Scribe Virgin. I was unaware Annalise had any children, though, in truth, our dealings with her are rare. She designed it to be so. Is this illusion penetrable or does it stand as though a wall? Sean said the demons said they could not enter through it. Layla: I am not completely sure, to be honest. I know of it and how it came to be and that it is like a wall. If you enter it you become disoriented and your vision blurs. How that would apply to reapers, I do not know. And yes, The Scribe Virgin is his mother. He was unaware of that fact and the existence of a twin, until recently. It is not a joyful thing I understand. He holds anger over it. But that is not of importance now. Sin: *shaking my head* There is nowhere and nothing that can keep Death out of where it chooses to go. Reapers are not subject to its mysteries, that is apparent by the fact some reached you. However, it is still most interesting. If I could learn how to use my power to create such a thing it would be most useful once the Horseman's rogues have been dealt with. Yes, I wish to examine it. And the wards. I know you will have been thorough Zav, but I still wish to see them. The magick of angels is always of interest to me. Sean: *I squeeze Layla's hand as Sin talks, aware of the heightened emotions around me. No one likes this plan of his. No one. Adrian's gone stoic, his default when he doesn't like something. Bryn and the shifters are practically bubbling over with protests over it. Only Zav is thoughtful. Stepping forward towards Sin, I release Layla's hand as I lock eyes with him* This is risky. You know it's risky. You're safe here and in your home because of the wards both you and Zav have put up against angels, demons, and reapers. Sin: *looking mildly at Sean* And if I am safe in those places, I should also be safe behind the same wards in Caldwell. I can examine both Zav's handiwork and the mhis at the same time. It is efficient. *mentally I reach out to Sean. 'And I am done hiding. If I do not venture out soon, that in and of itself will arouse suspicion. While I have usually been careful, I have never been reclusive.’* Sean: *I swear the furrows in my forehead are going to become permanent. Mentally I answer...'But Caldwell? Really boss?'* Sin: *Inhaling sharply, as I understand Sean's concern. 'Yes. Really. I will not hide from bittersweet memories. In the end, Caldwell is just another place, and as it is Layla's home, and likely to be yours, I will probably visit there from time to time.' Not said even mentally was my desire for closure in the event I did not live through this. Without waiting for further commentary...* I believe we all have our assignments. Declan, you are with me. *I do not miss the look Declan gives to Celia as he lays his hand on my shoulder. I touch his mind with my voice… 'All will be well. Focus on our task at hand.' And we are gone* #TBC

[laurazukerman-blog]

Eating Disorders Aren’t What You Think: 9 Things You Should Know Experts say eating disorders can affect anyone, so it’s important to dispel any myths surrounding the ailments. Getty Images The Academy of Eating Disorders has released a list of “9 truths” they say people should know about eating disorders. They say the truths dispel myths that people with eating disorders are either overly skinny or noticeably overweight. Among the truths are eating disorders aren’t choices, families aren’t to blame for them, and eating disorders can affect anyone. If you or a loved one had an eating disorder, would you be able to recognize it? While stereotypes might indicate that people with eating disorders are malnourished and skinny, the full spectrum of eating disorders goes far beyond these preconceived notions. The Academy for Eating Disorders is trying to bust the stigma and improve knowledge of this disease. The advocacy group has released a new document titled Nine Truths about Eating Disorders. People can look healthy Many people may think a person with an eating disorder would be someone all “skin and bones” or someone who carries a lot of extra weight. But experts say this doesn’t reflect reality. Dr. Dina Hirsch, a senior psychologist at Syosset Hospital’s Center for Weight Management on Long Island in New York, told Healthline it’s important for physicians to recognize this truth. “Normal weight patients with eating disorders such as atypical anorexia or bulimia nervosa are often commended for their weight loss without discussion of how it was accomplished,” she said. “Both of these illnesses have physical and mental health consequences just as serious as anorexia nervosa but are frequently missed by medical professionals who are overly focused on praising them for weight loss,” she added. Families are not to blame The Academy for Eating Disorders’ document points out that families can be a source of strength for people dealing with an eating disorder. They can also serve as an ally for both the person and doctors alike. According to Dr. Shawna Newman, director of child and adolescent psychiatry at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York, family members may feel overwhelmed when a loved one is dealing with an eating disorder. “It’s really tough when parents are scared,” she told Healthline. “It’s tough to reel in the emotion.” But the same familial closeness that can cause anxiety can also help identify problems, assisting doctors in working toward a solution. “The great thing is that people can go to a doctor and have a relatively nonjudgmental assessment and feedback,” explained Newman. “You can easily accompany a family member to their appointment and speak to the doctor about staying on the right track with nutrition.” An eating disorder is a health crisis To some, an eating disorder may seem like a minor roadblock, one that’s easy to get over. But because these disorders affect a person’s psychological well-being, it isn’t that simple. Dr. S. Bryn Austin, president of the Academy of Eating Disorders, said in a release that the messaging in pop culture and society at large can often spur an eating disorder that can be tough to beat. “In addition, frank discrimination in healthcare against people living in larger bodies takes a direct and sometimes devastating toll on health and well-being regardless of whether or not a person believes the stigmatizing messages,” she said. Eating disorders aren’t choices An eating disorder may start off as someone choosing to starve themselves so they can fit into smaller clothes. But once the disorder has taken hold, it’s no longer a choice. “It’s so challenging when you have an eating disorder because food is necessary. We don’t get away from it. We’ve got to eat to live,” said Newman. Newman said that when a person has gotten themselves to a point where their brain is effectively rewired to think differently about how they look, it’s similar to trauma. Eating disorders can affect anyone “Eating disorders come in more than one flavor. The calorie restriction type in which people seriously restrict their intake is very common in teenage girls. But boys can be affected too,” said Newman. There’s truth to the notion that young women are the highest-risk group for developing eating disorders, but that doesn’t mean that men — or any other demographic group — are immune. According to statistics, about 2 percent of men will deal with a binge eating disorder at some point in their lives. There’s an increased risk for suicide There’s no shortage to the health risks that eating disorders can carry. The Academy of Eating Disorders released notes that the mortality rate for eating disorders is second only to opioid use disorder when it comes to psychiatric illnesses. According to a 2014 studyTrusted Source of 1,436 people with eating disorders, almost 12 percent had attempted suicide at some point while 43 percent had a history of suicidal ideation. Genes and environment play a role Various benchmarks, such as body mass index, give us a rough idea of what we need to do in order to be healthy. But the social and physiological determinants of health are tricky to pin down. “There are many factors that go into it,” said Newman. “Different people have different genetics. Biology isn’t just what you’re consuming, but it’s also that every person in every family has different strengths that can cause different kinds of weight.” “Weight is very much influenced by genetics, but it can also be influenced by cultural factors, as diets are different in different cultures, and there are different kinds of access to food,” she explained. Genes alone can’t predict While the influence of genetics on health and eating disorders can’t be denied, genes are hardly the end-all in terms of prediction. Eating disorders can be spurred by a person’s perception of what their body should look like — often influenced by images on social media or television. Sometimes things can be exacerbated by preconceptions from peers or even doctors, said Hirsch. “It’s imperative that we address weight bias by educating physicians on the nine truths — teaching them that eating disorders affect people of all shapes and sizes, that positive body image promotes health rather than the contrary, and that dietary restriction strategies can increase the risk of developing eating disorders,” she said. “Physicians also need to stop judging and blaming patients for their weight,” she added. Full recovery is possible Anyone who’s tried to change their eating habits knows that it isn’t as simple as just flipping a switch. The same goes for people with eating disorders who are trying to revert to healthier eating habits. “The idea that there’s something wrong about your body is very tough to get past,” said Newman. “It can take a long time. You can change your behaviors and re-train, but to change your core belief is very challenging.” While it may be a challenge for someone to lose their eating disorder, it’s certainly not impossible — particularly when the person, health professionals, and loved ones are all pulling in the right direction. “Weight-related issues should be treated like any other health issue — with compassion, sensitivity, and concern — and not judgment, blame, or oversimplification,” said Hirsch. “Only then will we be able to address one of the nation’s leading health problems — obesity — and decrease the rate of eating disorders.” Written by Dan Gray on January 14, 2020 New.

Eating Disorders Aren’t What You Think: 9 Things You Should Know Experts say eating disorders can affect anyone, so it’s important to dispel any myths surrounding the ailments. Getty Images The Academy of Eating Disorders has released a list of “9 truths” they say people should know about eating disorders. They say the truths dispel myths that people with eating disorders are either overly skinny or noticeably overweight. Among the truths are eating disorders aren’t choices, families aren’t to blame for them, and eating disorders can affect anyone. If you or a loved one had an eating disorder, would you be able to recognize it? While stereotypes might indicate that people with eating disorders are malnourished and skinny, the full spectrum of eating disorders goes far beyond these preconceived notions. The Academy for Eating Disorders is trying to bust the stigma and improve knowledge of this disease. The advocacy group has released a new document titled Nine Truths about Eating Disorders. People can look healthy Many people may think a person with an eating disorder would be someone all “skin and bones” or someone who carries a lot of extra weight. But experts say this doesn’t reflect reality. Dr. Dina Hirsch, a senior psychologist at Syosset Hospital’s Center for Weight Management on Long Island in New York, told Healthline it’s important for physicians to recognize this truth. “Normal weight patients with eating disorders such as atypical anorexia or bulimia nervosa are often commended for their weight loss without discussion of how it was accomplished,” she said. “Both of these illnesses have physical and mental health consequences just as serious as anorexia nervosa but are frequently missed by medical professionals who are overly focused on praising them for weight loss,” she added. Families are not to blame The Academy for Eating Disorders’ document points out that families can be a source of strength for people dealing with an eating disorder. They can also serve as an ally for both the person and doctors alike. According to Dr. Shawna Newman, director of child and adolescent psychiatry at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York, family members may feel overwhelmed when a loved one is dealing with an eating disorder. “It’s really tough when parents are scared,” she told Healthline. “It’s tough to reel in the emotion.” But the same familial closeness that can cause anxiety can also help identify problems, assisting doctors in working toward a solution. “The great thing is that people can go to a doctor and have a relatively nonjudgmental assessment and feedback,” explained Newman. “You can easily accompany a family member to their appointment and speak to the doctor about staying on the right track with nutrition.” An eating disorder is a health crisis To some, an eating disorder may seem like a minor roadblock, one that’s easy to get over. But because these disorders affect a person’s psychological well-being, it isn’t that simple. Dr. S. Bryn Austin, president of the Academy of Eating Disorders, said in a release that the messaging in pop culture and society at large can often spur an eating disorder that can be tough to beat. “In addition, frank discrimination in healthcare against people living in larger bodies takes a direct and sometimes devastating toll on health and well-being regardless of whether or not a person believes the stigmatizing messages,” she said. Eating disorders aren’t choices An eating disorder may start off as someone choosing to starve themselves so they can fit into smaller clothes. But once the disorder has taken hold, it’s no longer a choice. “It’s so challenging when you have an eating disorder because food is necessary. We don’t get away from it. We’ve got to eat to live,” said Newman. Newman said that when a person has gotten themselves to a point where their brain is effectively rewired to think differently about how they look, it’s similar to trauma. Eating disorders can affect anyone “Eating disorders come in more than one flavor. The calorie restriction type in which people seriously restrict their intake is very common in teenage girls. But boys can be affected too,” said Newman. There’s truth to the notion that young women are the highest-risk group for developing eating disorders, but that doesn’t mean that men — or any other demographic group — are immune. According to statistics, about 2 percent of men will deal with a binge eating disorder at some point in their lives. There’s an increased risk for suicide There’s no shortage to the health risks that eating disorders can carry. The Academy of Eating Disorders released notes that the mortality rate for eating disorders is second only to opioid use disorder when it comes to psychiatric illnesses. According to a 2014 studyTrusted Source of 1,436 people with eating disorders, almost 12 percent had attempted suicide at some point while 43 percent had a history of suicidal ideation. Genes and environment play a role Various benchmarks, such as body mass index, give us a rough idea of what we need to do in order to be healthy. But the social and physiological determinants of health are tricky to pin down. “There are many factors that go into it,” said Newman. “Different people have different genetics. Biology isn’t just what you’re consuming, but it’s also that every person in every family has different strengths that can cause different kinds of weight.” “Weight is very much influenced by genetics, but it can also be influenced by cultural factors, as diets are different in different cultures, and there are different kinds of access to food,” she explained. Genes alone can’t predict While the influence of genetics on health and eating disorders can’t be denied, genes are hardly the end-all in terms of prediction. Eating disorders can be spurred by a person’s perception of what their body should look like — often influenced by images on social media or television. Sometimes things can be exacerbated by preconceptions from peers or even doctors, said Hirsch. “It’s imperative that we address weight bias by educating physicians on the nine truths — teaching them that eating disorders affect people of all shapes and sizes, that positive body image promotes health rather than the contrary, and that dietary restriction strategies can increase the risk of developing eating disorders,” she said. “Physicians also need to stop judging and blaming patients for their weight,” she added. Full recovery is possible Anyone who’s tried to change their eating habits knows that it isn’t as simple as just flipping a switch. The same goes for people with eating disorders who are trying to revert to healthier eating habits. “The idea that there’s something wrong about your body is very tough to get past,” said Newman. “It can take a long time. You can change your behaviors and re-train, but to change your core belief is very challenging.” While it may be a challenge for someone to lose their eating disorder, it’s certainly not impossible — particularly when the person, health professionals, and loved ones are all pulling in the right direction. “Weight-related issues should be treated like any other health issue — with compassion, sensitivity, and concern — and not judgment, blame, or oversimplification,” said Hirsch. “Only then will we be able to address one of the nation’s leading health problems — obesity — and decrease the rate of eating disorders.” Written by Dan Gray on January 14, 2020 New.

If you or a loved one had an eating disorder, would you be able to recognize it?

While stereotypes might indicate that people with eating disorders are malnourished and skinny, the full spectrum of eating disorders goes far beyond these preconceived notions.

The Academy for Eating Disorders is trying to bust the stigma and improve knowledge of this disease.

The advocacy group has…

[wwbnews]

Mobile industry and tech channel moves for April 2019 Got some good news to share with us about your moves? Send the details to desire.athow@futurenet.com with a photo if possible. Wilkin Lee joins Oppo Wilkin Lee has joined Oppo as Business Development Director for the UK. Lee joins from Xiaomi having previously spent six years at Honor. Gigaclear gets new CEO Gareth Williams is the new CEO of Gigaclear. Williams, who was previously CEO of Interoute, replaces interim chief executive Mike Surrey. Intel recruits Qualcomm CFO as new finance chief Qualcomm CFO George Davis has left Intel to take up the same role at rival Intel. Davis joined Qualcomm in 1997 and held his most recent role since 2013. BTGS gets first Director of Media and Technology (Image Credit: Roger Woodend) BTGS has named Roger Woodend as its first Director of Media and Technology. Woodend has been at BT for 15 years and will head up the newly-established global team from New York City. CityFibre names Simon Holden as Group COO (Image credit: CityFibre) Simon Holden has been appointed to a newly created position of Group Chief Operating Officer at CityFibre, reporting directly to CEO Greg Mesch. Holden joins from Holdman Sachs, where he spent 18 years in London and New York. A1 Comms appoints O2 alumni as Business MD Steve Heald has been named as the new Managing Director of A1 Comms' businessn division. Heald joins from O2 where he was head of B2B direct partners. Colt appoints new head of mobile connectivity solutions Mark Gilmour is the new Head of Mobile Connectivity Solutions at Colt Technology Services. Most recently he was Senior Advisor for Product Line Management Cellular and Wireless at Ciena. Philip Jansen assumes control of BT Philip Jansen has formally succeeded Gavin Patterson as CEO of BT following a transition period. Jansen was previously co-CEO of Worldpay Nokia has named Sandra Motley as President of its Fixed Networks Business Group. Motley replaces Federico Guillén who is the new Nokia President of Customer Operations and joined the company as part of the Alcatel-Lucent merger in 2016. Hyperoptic names new ISP Managing Director Charles Davies is the new MD for Hyperoptic’s ISP business. Davies will work to build the Hyperoptic brand and will report to CEO Dana Tobak. GSMA appoints new chair Orange CEO Stephane Richard has been named the new Chair of the GSMA. He will be responsible for overseeing strategic direction that the mobile industry body. BT Security CEO quits the company BT Security CEO Mark Hughes is leaving his position to take on a "senior" role at another company, reports the FT. Hughes had spent 16 years at BT and will now oversee a transition period. Worldpay co-chief Philip Jansen is new BT CEO BT has confirmed Worldpay joint-CEO Philip Jansen will become its new chief executive next year, ending the search for a successor to current boss Gavin Patterson. Tech21 promotes Colin Woodward to CEO Mobile phone case manufacturer Tech21 has named its former marketing director and head of sales Colin Woodward as its new CEO. Woodward has 20 years experience in the technology industry having previously served at HTC and Sony EE alumni Mansoor Hanif is the new Ofcom CTO BT and EE alumnus Mansoor Hanif is Ofcom’s new Chief Technology Officer (CTO), replacing the long-serving Steve Unger who left the regulator in June. Hanif’s new remit will be to ensure Ofcom’s work is informed by the latest developments in network technology, having previously served as head of convergence at BT-EE. Boris Dragovic is Hyperoptic's Chief Strategy and Transformation Officer Fibre to the Premise (FTTP) network builder Hyperoptic has appointed Boris Dragovic has been appointed as Chief Strategy and Transformation Officer. Dragovic will be responsible for helping the altnet scale and operate more efficiently as it gears up for expansion Three CTO Bryn Jones departs Three CTO Bryn Jones has left the company after six years, believing the time is right for a career and lifestyle change. Jones joined Three in May 2012 and was responsible for network strategy, design and deployment. Prior to that he was Director of Mobile Delivery at Virgin Media. Max Taylor departs EE as BT combines marketing roles EE's MD of marketing Max Taylor has left company to take on a new position elsewhere. Pete Oliver has taken on the newly combined role of Marketing for BT Consumer, EE and Plusnet. Taylor had been at EE for 15 years Wilkin Lee departs from Honor Wilkin Lee has left his role as Honor UK sales and marketing director after nearly four years with the Huawei-owned smartphone maker. It is unclear where his next position will be, but Lee did say on Twitter that there were “exciting challenges” in the pipeline. Mike Surrey is new Gigaclear CEO Gigaclear COO Mike Surrey has been promoted to CEO following the departure of Matthew Hare. Hare, who founded the alternative network infrastructure builder, had been a champion for ultrafast broadband during his eight year tenure. Nick Read replaces Vittorio Colao as Vodafone CEO Nick Read will become the new CEO of Vodafone Group in October, replacing the long-serving Vittorio Colao, who spent a decade in the top job. Read is the current CFO of Vodafone Group and has previously served as the CEO of Vodafone UK. Uber appoints former Virgin Mobile MD as head of Northern Europe Uber has appointed the former MD of Virgin Mobile as its new head of Northern and Eastern Europe. He was previously director of electronics at Amazon UK and replaces Jo Bertram who left last year. His biggest task will be dealing with Transport for London (TfL) about renewing his licence. Orange Business Services appoints Helmut Reisinger as CEO Helmut Reisinger has been promoted to CEO of Orange Business Services, replacing Thierry Bonhomme, who will retire later this year. Reisinger was previously head of international, covering the firm's business outside France, and will report directly to Orange CEO Stephane Richard. Andrew Cantle is Unlockd's new Chief Commercial Officer Andrew Cantle is the new chief commercial officer at mobile advertising firm Unlockd. Cantle was previously head of EMEA and APAC at GoCanvas and before that he was Australia and UK country manager at Tranglo Mobile Payments. At Unlockd, he will be tasked with growing the firm and obtaining new supply partners. Matt Stagg swaps EE role for BT Sport Director of Mobile Strategy EE's head of media and broadcast Matt Stagg is to take up the newly created role of BT Sport Director of Mobile Strategy. Mobile is an increasingly important platform for the broadcaster and Stagg will be tasked with growing the audience and helping identify new technologies. Gerry McQuade to be BT Enterprise CEO Gerry McQuade will be the first chief executive of the new BT Enterprise division when it launches on 1 October. McQuade is currently CEO of BT Wholesale and Ventures, which is to be combined with BT Business and Public Sector, whose own CEO Graeme Sutherland is to depart the company. Paul Jacobs joins Exertis from Tech Data Exertis has appointed Paul Jacobs to the newly created position of Director of business development and innovation, where he will be responsible for bringing new and emerging technologies that can add value to resellers. He was previously Business Unit Director at Tech Data UK. Anson Zhang is Huawei's new UK MD Huawei has named Anson Zhang as the new UK managing director for its consumer business. Zhang joined the company as its Finland MD in 2009 before taking up similar positions in Poland and the Czech Republic. Ericsson names new chief legal officer Ericsson appoints Xavier Dedullen (pictured) as it chief legal officer and head of legal affairs of compliance. He was previously Group General Counsel and Chief Compliance Officer at Swiss-based firm LafargeHolcim. Ericsson has also appointed its CTO Erik Ekudden to its executive team. Former Uber head is O2's new chief digital and strategy officer Jo Bertram has been named O2's new digital and strategy officer, reporting directly to CEO Mark evans reports the FT. Bertram was head of Uber's northern European business but left last October. Since then she has been an executive in residence at tech fund EQT Ventures, a position she will retain once she joins O2 in April. Andrew Taylor to be new Gamma Communications CEO Andrew Taylor will take over the reins as CEO of Gamma Communications in May following the retirement of long-serving incumbent Bob Falconer. Taylor was previously CEO of Nomad Digital, which was acquired by Alstom in 2017, and before that was at Digicel where he oversaw the firm’s fixed and mobile networks in the Northern Caribbean BT appoints new Chief Strategy and Transformation Officer BT has hired Michael Sherman to fill the newly-created role of Chief Strategy and Transformation Officer, reporting to CEO Gavin Patterson. Sherman joins from the Boston Consulting Group where he spent 11 years heading its Technology, Media and Telecommunications (TMT) group in the US. Acer UK gets new head Acer has appointed a new country manager for the UK, with Craig Booth promoted from within to replace Preben Fjeld who became Lenovo’s General Manager for UK and Ireland last November. Micron makes key appointment Micron has appointed Raj Talluri as Senior Vice President and General Manager of Mobile Business Unit. He will be responsible for leading and growing Micron’s mobile business. This includes building mobile solutions to address the growing market opportunity driven by new usage models. #Newsytechno.com #Latest_Technology_Trends #Cool_Gadgets

[shy-magpie]

RQG 154

Wherein red stringing occurs. Liveblog under the cut:

 Not much hype this week, just a lot of being quietly thrilled RSB got the beginning of the episode dedicated to us. I hope the rest of the fandom doesn't feel like Bryn plays favorites. Its sweet he back reads and answers questions but its nothing he wouldn't do in official. Last week was such a gift that I think it cut down on hype for this week because even if (Alex forbid) they immediately time skipped to the end of the week, quarantine still got us amazing backstory and character moments. Unless Alex gets truly desperate and has someone attack the inn or infects both the new kids, the characters are safe from physical danger so no fear hype either.

Yes I want follow up on that Hamid & Zolf conversation: I am so proud of him for calling Zolf out on being patronizing (I can't believe I didn't see earlier with his family, of course that's the aspect that got to him) and they need to figure out how to deal with the chain of command. Zolf already seems more willing to get input on his decisions so its mostly losing the attitude when things happen like Hamid casting lights. Yes I also want Cel to talk about themself more, but I am fine with waiting until they aren't locked up with no privacy. Azu's backstory is coming out at a decent pace and Helen spoils us so not even worried about not hearing more about her becoming a paladin. I am curious if Alex thinks its worth bonding with the new kids and this better not be a set up for splitting the party. So enough pre episode babbling, final bets on if they play with the brorb now or wait until they can take it to Cel's? Gotta love that music. Oh they do want to get back to things! Listen to how fast they're talking. That's nice I wouldn't have thought they'd be as excited about the pure RP backstory and character bits as they get about a boss fight. No Alex neither players nor fans want to skip anything. I will concede that further conversation was unlikely to be productive that night so the morning makes sense. There was only one corridor! Barnes is still using the stairs to get some space. Some might see it as a sign he is infected or afraid of infection but honestly not wanting to puppy pile with a group as tight knit as the party especially while they are shaking out their issues is valid. Azu checks on Carter who passed out drunk face down. Zolf is sleeping in. With Hamid's family issues, Bryn being so careful to specify he has a healthy relationship with alcohol every time makes it a lot easier to not tense up listening. Oh My God thanks Bryn! I know he said the beginning of the episode was dedicated to us but I was expecting a throw away line not a proper red stringing scene! I am grinning so big right now. Azu is watching Hamid Cel is sleeping curled up with the sealed bottle of elvish mead. Because Lydia is as much a criminal as Bryn just plays a longer game. Speaking of criminal, Ben really plays up this rivalry from Azu & Zolf covering similar roles and its a really close second to the rank thing between him & Hamid in character arcs I'm interested in. I think both are aiming towards a happy ending but no idea how the middle is going to play out. I don't think it's aiming for a "this party isn't big enough for two of us". Alex is encouraging this. This is great just going to get a clip of this rather than attempt to transcribe on first listen. Bryn/Hamid is laying this out so clearly: The knowns, assumed, and questions are being labeled nicely. (I wonder if our little discord helped him refresh his memory so he'd be able to match how much Hamid would remember in character.) Bryn also goes 3rd person? Hope it isn't a stress tell like Alex. Yes Bryn is obsessed and as a listener its is utterly charming when he shows up in RSB or Official and is unabashedly as big a fan of the show as us. Zolf wakes up to Hamid red stringing. Thank goodness he isn't letting security concerns lead him to putting the brakes on. I know there was some concern that if one of them was infected sharing they could pass on anything they talk about. As long as they don't get too specific about classified info, using the time and frankly just having a project to distract them is a good idea. Plus in my mind Hamid always looks so hurt when Zolf pulls on the reigns. Lilliana is not allowed to be the connecting thread. Oh seed is finally being addressed. Aw Hamid handed Cel a glass of water. It really is the little things I love about this show: 1)told you he has a knack for leadership: anticipating the needs of team members even as they diverge from his own 2)He does see Cel as a team member not just someone he worked with, you don't hear him cooing over Carter 3)does it quickly then moves on, because as a gentleman he thinks it's what anyone would do. 4)speaking of, I wonder that Azu & Zolf haven't done rounds. its not like they have anything to save the spells for and the field is only in the cell.

Svalbard! Do not taunt us, does Ben have any idea how much we want to see the science dwarves of the north? Um hmm, vindi-fing-cation. I know it wasn't exactly a huge insight but the mixture of science and various schools of magic is key to my theory on what “Erasing The Line” refers to. Oh Frankenstein in this world is such a concept. Plus it makes Mary Shelley canon. Aw Alex thought we'd never get to this bit of lore. Thank you Blue Veins info being given as whole instead of bits & pieces.  Ooh and Barnes is taking it. Time to get a sense of who he is when he's not swinging a sword. Navel engagement with Blue Veins? Hive mind! Minimize harm? Not dead. Paladins are complicated, maybe a rumor, maybe transfer of allegiance. Cyborg kraken Cyborg Zolf Oh splitting the kraken to make more Barnes just checks out as the conversation goes over his head Called it I told you it was a sensible test. (ETA Zolf’s fart test) (ETA: Re: people with Blue Veins) No lies, no embarrassment, very literal. Other instances? Riots London->Paris->Europe Not safe to go to London If you're in their presence you are highly likely to be infected, mass infections,  not passed by corpses? Memetic effect? Tick tock. Ben and Alex have one of their friendly tussles as Carter decides its a me may Yes he did! And Helen name dropped us! I know I'm just a little part of the brigade but I'm going to to be smug for at least a week that we are so good at what we do one of the actual players looked to us. Hey Lydia is welcome too. Paperwork time! Yeah yeah I knew security was going to be used to undermine Hamid. At least it isn't Zolf and they aren't trying to make him look rash for the whole idea. Getting new info from the paperwork is a bit different than talking about what they already know. Make the place bigger? Nice spell Zolf. If this leads to Animorphs again... Oh I was thinking more like a big horde somewhere you could check stone in & out of a stone plane of existence ties in with elemental lore right? Seriously "Cure Hangover" isn't a spell? Or do Zolf & Azu just not approve of using their magic that way? Intoxicants have to fall under mild poisoning, right? Do the studying later in the week? That's a fair compromise; even if Zolf is still presenting it as an order he is explaining instead of giving his advice or IDK putting it to a vote. I'm not positive but I think Lydia is suggesting they go over their character sheets in character. Alex is not amused. Lydia sounds pleased with herself. Perception check? Azu hears someone knocking something over upstairs. Azu tries to not wake Carter as she listens at the door. It had to be her foot in his mouth. Multiple people in the inn. Carter tries to pick the lock. Azu & Carter start bickering. Carter is perception penalty. The inn is being searched Zolf suggests they wake Wilde up by making a racket. Cel hears the door being unlocked. Voices speaking muffled Japanese. Cel just shouts "Hey what's going on?". Zolf joins in. Azu uses her armor to make noise. Thump of someone hitting the floor! Wilde's voice! Lots of feet? Yes Helen, what if it is the kobolds? Oh god what if Skraak checked on them and found out they were in cages underground? Poor guy would think Wilde is their Shoin. Bryn clarifies Hamid shouts out to Wilde Zolf forbids them leaving the basement Cel shields themself. Azu goes for her armor Barnes is keeping Carter from going for the lock again. Hamid casts Fear (!oh that’s a new one isn't it) I assume #jail is already full of angst criminals connecting Hamid's bully days and him going from S1!Hamid scared of every fight to now casting fear as a way to control his enemies). Also these better be his enemies because I still don't put it past Alex to set us up for a tragic misunderstanding. Dragon roar and dragon face is how he casts fear Ok Rusty Quill LOTR night sounds awesome Zolf helps Azu put on her armor The other feet flee Zolf cries out for Wilde as loud as he physically can but still won't let them risk infecting Japan by leaving quarantine early. Oh if that ain't a fic and a half. A set of small claws! It is a kobold End the episode with the kobolds?  

[shetrauma-blog]

One of the main reasons Bryn has had such a difficult road coping with her trauma and recovering is because not only was she so young when it happened, she’s been invalidated by the most important people in her life and even by people who want to help her, they just don’t seem to take her seriously.  She also had to get away and out of her toxic situation by herself, but she wasn’t ever allowed to be completely free.  She exists in a society where victims are seen as either ‘good’ or ‘bad’ victims.  The good victims are forgiving and motivated by their traumas, looking to help others going through similar situations and raising awareness.  They don’t resent or hate their abusers and their lives are often romanticized in media.  They are kind despite everything they’ve gone though.  

Whereas the ‘bad’ victims are cold and cruel and have so many walls up their hearts are now a fortress, they hate their abusers and don’t want to be kind because their kindness was what got them hurt in the first place.  Bryn wants to be a ‘good’ victim, she wants to be kind and helpful and loving, but she’s also cold and jaded and resentful of the girl who hurt her.  She wants to be taken seriously as a good trauma victim, but she can’t because she’s struggling to control the childish emotions she never learned to deal with because while most people were learning how to form healthy relationships and dealing with their emotions, Bryn was being abused and violated and she never learned how to function emotionally like most people her age do.

At age 18, Bryn is trying to relearn how she used to be, kind and full of joy and smiling, trying to relearn how her family, how society wants her to be.  It’s hard, she can’t always be nice and kind and demure, sometimes she is brash and reckless and emotional and angry, so so angry, but she keeps it all inside because that’s what she’s supposed to do.  She’s supposed to move on and be strong, despite having lost years of her life to pain and suffering that divorced her from the real world around her.