#shes batshit man

[starry-bi-sky]

my martha knight au in a nutshell:

Danny/Martha: see up here?

Danny/Martha: *taps skull*

Danny/Martha: intense psychological damage

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Danny/Martha: *upon finding out she's pregnant*

Danny/Martha: oh my god i cant be a mom, I'm fifteen and homeless--

Danny/Martha: im going to be a terrible mother--

Danny/Martha: i live in a cAR--

Danny/Martha: what if the baby inherits my powers? Oh no--

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Danny/Martha post giving birth: i've only had Bruce for a minute and a half but if anything were to happen to him i won't even need to fuse with Vlad, I'm razing this goddamn planet to the ground myself

Danny, to Baby Bruce: you are the last remaining thread of my sanity. I'm going to give you the world :)

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Danny/Martha prior to getting pregnant: Fuck it, if everything in my life has led to this moment, i'm allowed to make one stupid decision. I'm getting drunk and getting laid

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Danny/Martha while Bruce was a toddler: i swear to fucking god i am going to kill the next person who talks to me--

Bruce: hi mommy!! i brought you something!!!

Danny/Martha, immediately flipping on a dime: hi baby!! what do you have?

Bruce, a weird child like his mother: a spider :)

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Danny/Martha, talking to Falcone after he made an unsavory comment at her and Bruce: If you ever come near me or my son again, I will dig up your shithead father's corpse and make you eat his skin.

Danny/Martha: do you understand me

Falcone:... crystal, ma'am

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Danny/Martha new in Gotham: *getting mugged*

Danny/Martha: *grabs man's arm*

Danny/Martha: I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF LIKE A TWIG, FUCK BOY, DO YOU HEAR THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH--

(she then proceeds to terrorize Gotham's night life for the next extended period of time, mostly unintentionally)

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Danny/Martha: Danny Fenton?? No. you must be mistaken, my name is Martha Knight.

Danny/Martha: this here is my littlest knight, Bruce.

Danny/Martha: I made him all by myself :]

[zeb-z]

on a less serious side, bad and foolish having witnesses who are somewhat normal and regular to their usual strange and deranged antics is so hysterical. bad playing the role of kidnapped and felon this time around, letting himself get captured, pretending to be soooo guilty and talking like he’s actually gonna snitch. foolish doing it half for fun, half for show, because he knows cellbit is the killer already - he just needs nails for bad’s coffin because he’s gonna be the scapegoat, and he’s bored. if they were alone maybe they’d trade more intel - they’re on the same page but can’t exactly confirm nor allude to that with an audience, so it just devolves into their usual antics. meanwhile bagi is sweating and convinced bad is definitely about to spill everything she’s told him, falling for bad’s little ‘oh I’m so easily caught and convinced’ act harder than anyone else, trying to avoid bad’s arrest or worse, cellbit’s - while really what’s going on is bad and foolish’s homoerotic batshit insane cop and robber routine, where you’re not sure if someone’s getting arrested or if they’re about to make out. and aypierre is just there

[witchhazelevesque]

Did Hazel train with Lupa or did Nico bring her straight to Camp Jupiter?

[likemosaic]

"benny gecko stop sticking your dick in crazy" challenge...

[laniidae-passerine]

there is something so entirely fucked about Louis’ psyche… look at it all! the physical beatings to an obscene degree, the damaging affairs, the psychological warfare, the public humiliation, the participation in the murder of their only beloved daughter. Lestat does this all to him, or a significant amount even if memory is playing its wicked games. Lestat is a vicious horrible thing with his teeth marks on every part of Louis and yet even with decades of freedom, a new partner, the ability to recognise and condemn cruelty and abusive actions, Louis still wants him back. Knowing what he is, what he can do, Louis wants him back. It never mattered if vampires can dream, for Lestat haunts his waking days, a torturous vision of the only living one Louis really loves.

[hauntswitch]

Im so sorry but the L word is absolutely fucking hilarious - none of these women have an ounce of morality between them and yet they're all somehow still loveable characters. Despite the atrocities. And the bad 2000s haircuts. And the deeply questionable fashion choices.

[st-hedge]

imagine ganon, link and zelda all working together to find the best way to crucify the fucking koroks

Considering what Zelda canonically did with zonai tech, I like to imagine the monstrosities that she would create if she swapped roles with link and was running around carting koroks to their friends

[evansbby]

I JUST FINISHED SEASON 2 OF VANDERPUMP RULES AND

JAX IS ACTUALLY A PSYCHO HE NEEDS TO BE STUDIED FR

[spartalabouche]

im not saying that pharmacists and doctors shouldnt be allowed to have breaks or should be overworked or anything but i think its a little cruel that pharmacies and doctors offices can close for a holiday or for a little bit of snow at the drop of a hat when like. home depot employees or something are forced to work in a snowstorm on christmas eve. like i just think medical attention and medication is more important but thats just me. hire more doctors and pharmacists for the love of god

[bbqhooligan]

love that its canon Kazuma can lust after his god, subjugate people, hurt anyone, kill people and not blight his master. dudes compertmentalizing game is unmatched. you post "normalize killing and torturing" on tumblr dot com and kazuma just gets a chill out of nowhere as he has the masters doctorate on exactly that. bro normalized sinning

[wizardnuke]

miss the early days of my tma listen when i was conspiracy theorizing and genuinely freaking out about michael distortion appearances. michael went craazy he is SO scary to me

[merlinemrys]

i’m actually so normal about mergwenthur 🙄 (is actively going criminally insane)

[lesbiansanemi]

I hate working with men

[arledrone]

akechi should've been allowd to kill kamoshida actually

[im-smart-i-swear]

Does anyone among Funky Guys swear? Cause i can imagine it'd be like- Taks: Heck! Buddy: Dont fucking swear. Seriously where the fuck did you even learn that shitty language?? It is rude and I know the situation has gone to hell but doesnt mean we have to be assholes about it

bestie youre so right.. here have a shitty comic inspired by this for your troubles<3

a more detailed answer under the cut!

Buddy started to swear a lot early on bc he was an angry mess and lowkey an asshole and also Shiro propably tried to swear as little as possible most of the time, and now hes NOT Shiro anymore, so who cares? Theyre all gonna die bc of hunger or dehydration or get killed by hostile fauna soon anyway so what's the point

Tashi tries his best to not cuss and to discourage others from doing it, not really bc hes all that morally appalled by it but bc in most normal situations You Shouldnt Swear Around Children and hes trying very very hard to keep up a charade of normalcy(hes constantly swearing in his head tho. Screams FUCKING HELL internally every five seconds). eventually(after about 2 years) he gives up and stops giving a shit. His constant nagging DID work a little bit tho and buddy eventually starts to swear less and also substitute the cuss words with the more kid friendly versions(they make sure to look extremely displeased the whole time though)

Soup and stickbug know so many swears in multiple alien languages its insane. Soup doesnt speak much but stickbug uses swearing as a means to calm down when hes alone(imagine him screaming into a pillow). when he was younger he was always careful to only swear when the adults(mostly tashi) werent around, and for a good year whenever taks or taka would tattle on his cussing, tashi would wave it off bc stickbug doesnt swear!! hes too much of a good nice kid to do that!!!!! hes just a shy little guy:)(<- in reality he is trying his best to appear harmless and obedient in front of The Authority Figure bc thats his survival strategy.). eventually after a few long months he calms down and gets comfortable enough to gradually drop the act and starts swearing more often(still tries to limit it tho). dw tho in his 20s he starts to cuss profusely to make up for that

taks and taka both didnt know many swears at the beginning but they quickly started to pick up new ones(mostly bc of bud)(and stickbug. but tashi didnt believe taka when he admitted that he was the one who thaught him 'fuck' and thought he was covering for taks lmao). as kids do, they LOVE swearing, do it every chance they get. later taka mostly stops swearing aside from slip ups and hanging around w/ his siblings, but taks? she cusses every chance she gets and tashi can do nothing about it(and believe me, he tried).

eenek knows galran swear words and tried to learn earth ones back in the day from stick..... it ended with stick lying to them and making them think random english words are cusses to fuck with them. they dont realise whats going on until after having spent years muttering shit like 'hydrazine thrusters' and 'screwdriver' under their breath whenever they stubbed a toe<3

[bingobongobonko]

YOU ARE INBETWEEN THE WHERE AND WHEN