#AND GWEN’S DEVOTION TO THEM AS WELL.

[merlinemrys]

i’m actually so normal about mergwenthur 🙄 (is actively going criminally insane)

[blackhholes]

Teen Wolf as Arthurian Characters

Isaac Lahey as Lancelot du Lac

[coconut530]

Another derp for the episode of violin(ce) ~ 🎵🎻🩸🎶

[cabeswaterdrowned]

I’m going to be real maybe something will change especially since I think they’re supposed to have a tragic bent to them eventually and yk I like that sort of thing but so far I really don’t find m*rthur interesting. Not as in I don’t think there’s subtext I think it’s there I just don’t feel anything about it.

[chappellcastiel]

The envy Arthur and Lancelot would have had for each other must have been insane.

Because Merlin is secretive with Lancelot. He tells him things he would never tell Arthur, he opens up to him and Arthur knows he can never have that trust. Never have that closeness not while he’s king and Merlin a servant.

But to Lancelot he’s been secretive about protecting Arthur. It all resolves around Arthur, opening up about protecting Arthur, giggling over using magic to please Arthur. Lancelot knows it will never be him on the other side of the devotion not like this.

just like he will never be Gwen’s because she loved him once yes but at the end of the day it’s Arthur she chooses.

and in Arthur’s eyes Lancelot is Gwen’s first love will always be known as such and will always be looked at as such even if she loves him she loved Lancelot first and Arthur can’t help but think if she could have him she would.

Anyway I’m so sane about them and at the end of the day how they still understand why it’s like this because they would choose the other as well.

[larluce]

Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU

Tagging @aceauthorcatqueen , @fallenxjas , @smileytrinity ,@lucifertookmyshoe , @an-entity-i-think , @thecornerofbelu , @griffonskies , @odinjm , @cinnabon-sweetroll-tiramisu , @thelady-mary , @bennedict , @nightninjaboy , @st8-of-grace , @star-rie , @error-username-not-available , @dogberryrowan , @jamieweasley13 , @tansyuduri , @tercais , @robynnemrys , @evadne01 , @serasvictoria02 , @hairdryerducks , @hopeaha Sorry for the delay, my college classes started and this fragment turned out to be quite long. I hope you enjoy it.

LINKS TO THE OTHER PARTS OF THIS AU HERE: PART 1 , PART 2 , PART 3 , PART 4 , PART 5 , PART 6 , PART 7 , PART 8 , PART 9 , PART 10 , PART 11 , PART 12 , PART 13 , PART 14 , PART 15 (You're here) , PART 16

In "To kill a king"

Gwen's father, Tom, consorting with Tauren.

Tom: (exclaims, after Tauren turned lead into gold with the mage stone) Gold!

Tauren: (smiles evily) Pure priceless gold. Yours, blacksmith, if you keep your mouth shut.

Tom: I don't think that's going to be possible.

Tauren: (confused) What?

Arthur: (Enters with guards suddenly) Seize him!

Tauren: (Tries to scape, but he trips and is quickly surrounded. He turns to Tom, furious) You! You set me a trap!

Arthur: It was me actually. (turns to Tom) Well done, Tom.

Tom: Anytime, sire.

Tauren: (yells while he's taken outside) You'll pay for this! All of you! (is taken away by the guards)

Arthur: Tom, you put yourself at great risk by agreing to participate in this ambush. Your service to the crown won't go unrewarded.

Tom: (bows, grateful) Being of service to you is enough reward for me, sire.

Gwen: (enters, crying) Dad! (goes to hug him)

Tom: Gwen! (hugs her inmediatly) What are you doing here? I told you not to come! It's dangerous!

Gwen: And you expected me to just wait until you came back of your suicidal mission?! If something had happenened to you I couldn't bare it.

Arthur: (smiles, glad he could save Gwen the pain of losing her father) You didn't come alone, did you? (calls out) Merlin!

Merlin: (comes out of his hidden place and goes to Arthur, smiling not at all guilty) Someone had to have your back. (thinking) And make sure Tauren didn't scape.

Arthur: (perfectly knowing it was Merlin who made Tauren trip) As if you could. (calls out again) Lancelot?

Lancelot: (comes out of his hidden place and aproaches too) Someone had to look after them. (pointing at Gwen and Merlin).

Arthur: (sighs again and calls out again) Morgana?

Morgana: (comes out of her hidden place and aproaches too, in anger) You put my friend's father in danger and you expect me not to make sure you didn't get him killed?

Arthur: I know you weren't fond of this plan, but there was no other way to capture Tauren. And look, everything turn out alright.

Morgana: And now Gwen and her father are in the crosshairs of a whole group of renegade sorcerers!

Arthur: The king agreed put guards at their house, they won't be unprotected.

Morgana: They wouldn't need protection if you hadn't involved them in the first place!

Gwen: My lady, (puts a hand on her arm) it's fine. We knew what we were getting into and you know I'm not defenseless. I know how to use a sword.

Morgana: (calms down and smiles at her) You sure do. (turns to Arthur) You better put the best guards at their disposal.

Arthur: They already have one. (turns to Lancelot) Will you protect them?

Lancelot: With my life!

Gwen: (blushes at Lancelot devotion and smiles)

Merlin: Arthur, (gives him the mage stone he just picked up) Tauren dropped this.

Tom: Is what the sorcerer used to turn lead into gold.

Arthur: (serious) They're going to come after this.

Time skip. In the dungeons. Morgana goes to Tauren's cell.

Tauren: The king's ward. (laughs dryly) What brings you here? Do you rejoice in our misery too?

Morgana: (gets close) I don't rejoice in anyone's misery. Even yours, that almost got an innocent man killed.

Tauren: So you're here to lecture me?

Morgana: (gets closer and whispers) Allies can appear in unexpected places (puts a key in his hand). Good luck. (leaves)

Tauren: (very confused, but smirks to himself)

Time skip. Tauren scapes from the dungeons and is running away being followed by knights. Morgana appears dressed in a cape riding a horse, picks him up and they flee together. Once they left the knights behind they make a stop in the woods.

Tauren: (gets off the horse, suspicious) Why are you helping me? Is this a trap?

Morgana: If it was, it would be a very poor one. (gets off the horse too) Look, I'm not delighted to see you either, but I needed to scape from Uther and you're the best option I have.

Tauren: But you're his ward.

Morgana: (raises her voice, suddenly scared) I won't be when he finds out what I am!

Tauren: (realises, surprised) You're a sorceress.

Morgana: (nods, shy and her eyes water) I didn't want too, I didn't choose this! But I keep having these visions in my dreams and hearing voices in my head. I didn't want to believe it but then a made some vase explode with my mind and I... (she trembles and cries) I don't want to be a mosnter! I don't want to die!

Tauren: (puts a hand in her shoulder, gently) Magic is not something you should fear, my dear. Is a gift, you're special. The only monster here is the murderer the calls himself king.

Morgana: (snifs) I know. (sadness turns into fury) For years I've seen him kill thousands of innocents while I could only watch. But I don't want to be useless anymore. I want to fight.

Tauren: (still a little distrustful) How can I be sure you're really on our side?

Morgana: (pulls the magic stone out of her pocket and gives it to him) Do you believe me now?

So Tauren brings morgana to his hidden place with all his followers. She intruduces herself, explains her situation and they accept her. With the king's ward now on their side, now they can plan their next move.

Morgana: I really don't want to come back.

Tauren: It's for the best. It won't be long before Uther sends search parties after you. Don't worry. You won't have to suffer his tirany anymore if everything goes as planned.

Morgana: WHEN averything goes as planned. (she smiles and kisses his cheek) Thank you. For accepting me. (gets on her horse) Goodbye.

Tauren whatches Morgana in awe before going back to his camp. He smiles triunfanly. Tomorrow Uther will finally die.

Time skip. Morgana makes a stop in the woods and meets Arthur, Merlin and group of knights.

Arthur: (greets Morgana) Did they fall for it?

Morgana: (smiling) It was easy as cake.

Flashback

Arthur, Uther and Morgana in a room, planning strategies.

Uther: It's very risky.

Arthur: I know. But it's the only way.

Uther: We could wait for them to attack Tom's place to captured them. If they're really going after the stone-

Arthur: But they won't send all of them. Especially with their leader captured. With this plan we can finally find all of them and kill them once and for all.

Uther: (smiles, proudly) You're right. So, who are you going to assign this important task to?

Arthur: I'm still working on it.

Uther: A servant perhaps?

Arthur: No, Tauren is no fool. He knows a servant can be easily hired or ordered to do stuff. He'll know it's a trap for sure.

Morgana: And if it was someone who is nobelty? Someone that can't be paid or order to do stuff because they're too close to the king? Someone like his ward?

Arthur: (concerned) Morgana...

Morgana: (determined) I can do it.

Uther: Absolutly not. It's dangerous!

Morgana: I know how to fight! If I can convince him that I'm on his side-

Uther: (raises his voice, sternly) No, Morgana. End of discussion.

Morgana: (leaves enraged)

Arthur: (sighs as he watches her leave and turns to his father) I'll talk to her later. Make her see sense.

Uther: Good luck with that.

Time skip. In Morgana's chambers. Morgana is siting on her bed and Arthur knocks the door.

Arthur: (opens the door slightly) Can I come in?

Morgana: As if you have to ask.

Arthur: (enters) He only worries about you, you know? I do too.

Morgana: I'm not helpless. For once I'm trying to help. I'm trying to support his absurd cause and he doesn't let me.

Arthur: (sits next to her) You don't really support him though. You don't support any of this.

Morgana: There's a reason Tauren and his men got to this point. Uther started this by killing all sorcerers indiscriminately. He brought this on himself!

Arthur: I know. I don't share his ideas on sorcerers either.

Morgana: (in disbelief) Really?

Arthur: Yes!

Morgana: And yet you're organising this slaughter.

Arthur: Because these sorcerers did do harm. It doesn't matter that my father wronged them first. They must to be stopped.

Morgana: Because they are evil sorcerers?

Arthur: No, just because they're evil. Nothing more.

Morgana: (softens her expression, a bit hopeful) You really don't believe all sorceres are evil?

Arthur: I did help you save that druid boy, didn't I?

Morgana: But... You never spoke up and always followed Uther's orders blindly.

Arthur: Because I had to, not because I wanted to. And you speak up more than enough for the both of us.

Morgana: Well it would have helped me for you to speak up for me there.

Arthur: I agree that you could easily fool Tauren. It wouldn't be hard for him to believe you don't share the king's ideas despite being the king's ward since that's already true anyways. But I also agree with my father that it's too dangerous for you.

Morgana: Wouldn't it be for anybody?

Arthur: You're the king's ward.

Morgana: So it's only okay to endanger others if they are not nobelty, isn't it?

Arthur: (sighs) You still don't forgive me for using Gwen's father.

Morgana: Will you forgive me easily if I used Merlin for something like that?

Arthur: ...

Morgana: Let me help. You'll be leading the ambush, Uther doesn't have to know I was involved. Please.

Arthur: (sighs longly) I'm going to regret this.

Morgana: Yes! (hugs him) Thank you!

End of flashback

The ambush is a success. Arthur and the knights kill Tauren and all his followers, leaving a pool of blood behind. It helped that the mage stone Morgana gave to Tauren was actually a replica Merlin helped made.

Arthur: (thinking, while looking at the corpses coldly) 285.

Morgana: (horrified at Arthur's display and guilty because despite knowing they were evil, these people were like her and accepted her)...

Merlin: (overwhelmed, but mostly concerned) Arthur?

Arthur: Lets go. (leaves)

Morgana: (to Merlin) Has he always been like this when he... does this kind of missions?

Merlin: (trying to reassure Morgana, but mostly himself) Yeah... It's... it's normal (thinking) But he has never been this numb while killing people before…

And they leave in an uncomfortable silence.

[whydon-twego]

Arthur holds Gwen's hands in his as he looks into her eyes, smiling blissfully.

Geoffry is speaking, enunciating the wedding vows while Arthur does not for a moment move his gaze from Gwen's, his wife. His queen.

Merlin watches them from the front row of people who have come to witness the royal wedding and cannot suppress the bitter line of his mouth as he watches the couple exchange a kiss to seal the pact.

Arthur's lips, Merlin, know them well.

He knew them until a few weeks before. He has known them for years as both their mouths descended to learn new lines of bodies not yet known, as, both inexperienced, they pleasured each other, and as Arthur's lips lied, enunciating words like I love you and nothing can keep us apart.

Merlin remembers Arthur's lisp perfectly.

He remembers perfectly when he cried after confessing to being a sorcerer and Arthur's lips wiped away those tears, he remembers the color of Arthur's eyes as he told him that it didn't matter, that it was still them, that they would get through anything.

I love you is the most painful thing to remember.

Merlin watches Arthur raise his wife's hand in front of all of Camelot, with the kingdom cheering them on, and Merlin can only think that Arthur, like everyone else, has lied to him.

There is no such thing as fate, not being the other side of the same coin.

Kilgharrah has lied to him ever since he met him, with his ridiculous wisecracks and ramblings without ever telling things as they were.

Gaius lied to him, telling him that one day he would be recognised for what he was, that everything would be fine.

Arthur lied to him. Proclaiming words of love, of devotion, only to abandon him without even a second glance in his direction. Poisoning his mind and heart by making him believe they would have all the time in the world together.

Merlin is tired of fine words.

Merlin is tired of a fate on his shoulders that did nothing but destroy him all those years.

Merlin will no longer be beguiled by sweet words, by broken promises.

Merlin, when the ceremony is over, leaves. He raises a barrier of protection because there are still people he cares about in Camelot and then leaves that place forever.

Now he is free, without Destiny and without lies, his heart broken into a thousand pieces that no one will ever be able to heal.

He only hopes that, in the end, it was all worth it.

[mewtwoandme]

I just realised something, you said at one point that Gwen is Mandy's emotional support Pokemon (or something along those lines) so how are things going to go for them when Gwen and Jeo get married? Would things be the same as they were before, would Gwen move in and Mandy stays at her own place or something else completely?

They won't be living together.

Hate to break it to some of ya but it won't be your typical marriage arrangement where they move in together XD Because yes, Gwen is an emotional support pokemon to Mandy, she isn't just her partner pokemon, she provides companionship and helps with Mandy's depression and anxiety, Gwen wouldn't just up and leave her, as much as she's devoted to Jericho she's also loyal to Mandy. If ya'll know the lore behind Gardevoirs and how strong their bonds are to their trainers/partners, need I explain more?

And before I get asks like "Well what if her and Mandy both move in?" Suuuure...let's just have EVERYONE live under Lakota's roof while we're at it lol. Lakota already has 3 big psychic cats and the family's still growing, that's why I plan on them getting a bigger house later on. The house will be crowded enough when the kids get bigger. I imagine having 7 under one roof would be a bit much

[tteokdoroki]

☆༉ — KATSUKI BAKUGOU. in every other universe.

about. “in every other universe, gwen stacey falls for spiderman. and in every other universe, it doesn’t end well.” - inspired by this bkg art @/kingkatsuki sent me and by self love.

warnings. none. fluff, slight angst, happy ending, across the spiderverse spoilers, spiderverse!bakugou & fem!reader.

once you know that you’re not the only one out there — it’s hard to go back to your regular life. not everyone can do the things that katsuki bakugou can do, you know, shoot webs, fight crime and save the day. it’s isolating. it’s lonely. he knows that he should feel blessed, it’s not every day that you’re given superhuman abilities and the power to change the world.

some days the truth about his identity, the words ‘i’m spiderman.’ sit eagerly on the tip of his tongue — desperate to be pushed out into open and heard by the people he loves. his mom, his dad, even his stupid roommate, kirishima. but if bakugou burdens them with the truth, then he puts them at risk too. losing his childhood friend deku had been more than enough, he couldn’t lose someone else too.

other days he remembers there are others just like him, dotted across the universe in their own connections and constellations — there’s his mentor, there’s his friends… there’s you.  it’s been a year since your world’s were once able to collide and bakugou has tried (and failed) to move on from you and devote himself to saving the day. your smile, your eyes, your drive, your bravery — he would be stupid to purposely forget all of that. 

he’s also a little weird for kicking back in his desk chair, mindlessly spinning around his dorm room (after patching himself up where katsuki had just gotten his ass kicked) thinking about the curve of your lips and how your voice sounds when you speak…

“hey katsuki! katsuki… wanna hangout?” 

in surprise, the blonde tips backwards in his seat, bakugou’s back hitting the floor with a harsh thud that causes pain to blossom somewhere along his shoulder blades. “what the fuck?” he grunts through a stream of colourful curses. he must be imagining things. crushing too hard on someone he’s not supposed to ever be able to see again. you can’t be here. it’s not physically possible. 

but through his searing pain and frustrated hisses, bakugou manages to crack a ruby red eye open — letting his gaze bare witness to the swirling, bright portal in his ceiling and the girl he’s still hung up over just peeking through. 

he really has to watch out for those punches to the head — he’s going insane.

“what the actual fuck?” 

amused laughter streams from between your lips, muffled slightly by the signature piece of a spider-person’s consume. you pull back the mask of your spider-suit which don the colours of your universe and grin. bright and beautiful. it makes bakugou’s heart squeeze in his chest. “dang, you kiss your mother with that mouth?” you tease, letting the web that holds you up sink further out of the portal until you’re hanging just above the foul-mouthed blonde. “good to see you too, hot shot.”

“what— how are y’even here?” bakugou sits up, fighting the twitches in his face and the real meaning to words on the tip of his tongue. i missed you. 

your face tells the story he longs too, your pretty eyes nostalgic and warm. you’ve missed him as well. “oh you know, just thought i’d swing by.” 

“that was fuckin’ terrible.”

“come on, katsuki, you liked it.” i like you. is what he really wants to say back.

he can practically feel your breathy laughter on his lips and taste your vanilla perfume. hanging upside down and in front of him is way too compromising of a position — he might kiss you if he’s not careful.

“fuckin’ dumbass.” bakugou puts a hand on your face and uses it to push you away before you can get any closer. you lose your balance, coming crashing down from the ceiling once your web snaps and the portal closes. he’s quick to crawl over to you, not evening thinking about boundaries or space… not when there’s been entire universes and timelines between you up until this moment. “shit, you okay? forgot how clumsy you were.” 

he utters fondly, mostly under his breath — in a way that’s impossible to miss with how bakugou leans over you. his face full of bursting concern. you don’t dare to move, taking in said face. observing how much it’s changed since you were last on earth-420. how his eyes are harder, less youthful but still wild. how his lips look softer, fuller — you wonder what chapstick he’s been using. how his chin is stronger and his face more defined and his nose slightly shifted and—

“you’re no different than before, still a meanie.” you quip, voice wistful. quiet. “you grew out your hair.” reaching up, you brush your fingers over the soft tips of his ash blonde locks — closing your eyes at the feel of them, as if you’re basking in sunlight. 

“yeah.” bakugou hums. “yours is different too.” 

“you think? do you like it?” 

“‘f’course.” he keens into your touch as it cascades down to his cheeks. “you always look good.” 

“you haven’t seen me in a while.”  

“doesn’t mean i don’t think about you.” 

“ah…me too.” 

“y’think about me?” 

a beat of silence passes and you don’t speak for a while. you’re both afraid you might hear each other’s hearts racing. “ever since i jumped back into that collider.” rolling out from underneath katsuki, you sit up with your back to him and fiddle with your spandex mask. “let’s go for a swing.” 

you’re up and throwing open his dorm window before bakugou can even register — leaving him to deal with his erratic pulse and pink kissed cheeks. it’s crazy how time apart made him only want you more. how he can’t have you because you’re not even meant to be here, even if there’s some kind of gravitational force from the universe pulling you together. when you don’t hear him coming after you, you turn to face him from the window ledge — he can see the longing even in the reflective lenses of your suit. 

“you coming?” 

bakugou’s entire body screams at him to say yes, every fibre of his being itching to be with you. but his one fatal flaw keeps him rooted in place on his knees. he can’t hurt you. can't tell you his feelings knowing he’ll never have a way of acting on them. 

“can’t, got homework.” he shrugs, feigning nonchalance. “i’m a college kid now, remember?” 

he can already tell that you’re rolling your eyes from under the mask even when you shrug back — tipping yourself out of the window, knowing that he’ll chase you. bakugou watches you, half amused, half annoyed as you stand up straight and defy all laws of everything by sticking to the side of his dorm building. 

“does Spider-Man have homework?”

all he can do is shake his head at you. both in amusement and in disbelief.

talking to you eases all the tension katsuki bakugou’s shoulders bare. 

it’s easy to be with you because you understand what it’s like to be alone in protecting the people you love and the communities you care about. hiding your face and cowering away from friends and family in the real world — every day life. you get why wearing the mask is both a blessing and a curse. it cost you your mother’s love. it cost you your home. and now you surf through universes to find your place amongst the other spider people that exist… and yet, katsuki, as you confess — is the only one to bring you comfort. 

whilst swinging and soaring through the streets of katsuki’s city, you tell him all of the nitty gritty details. no one wants a vigilante for a daughter. he holds his tongue in telling you that he wants you instead. you giggle when you explain to him all the worlds you’ve seen and people you’ve met through being apart of this elite spider-team. and when bakugou asks how a pipsqueak like you managed to get in before he did — you cock your head to the side innocently and say…

“you’re an asshole, katsuki. we can’t have you clashing with the number one in charge.”

bakugou has to pull his mask up to breathe while he laughs — snorting so hard that he almost misses a stride while swinging through the sunset-stained streets with you. by the time golden hour sets it’s sights upon you both, he’s taken you to the highest point in musutafu to watch the sun disappear beyond the horizon. 

when the world gets him down — katsuki comes up here to think and clear his head of any doubts that might be holding him back. it’s peaceful up here, away from the crime cracking on below and the bustling mundane city traffic. often times, he thinks of you too…so sharing this spot with you by his side is extremely intimate to him.

you’re talking but bakugou will admit he’s not really listening, too entranced by the shapes your lips form around each word, at least until you say his name. “you’re the only one who’s ever, truly got me, katsuki.” you tell him, swinging your feet off the ledge of the building. if you fall, your instincts would catch you…but you know katsuki would be the first to save you. 

“could say the same thing about you.” he admits, the burnt orange spider crest on his chest heaving with bakugou’s nervous sigh. he pinches at the black latex suit covering his fingers — debating on inching his hand closer to yours.

if you notice, you don’t say anything about it. “in every other universe, spiderman gets the girl.” katsuki swallows as you speak, ruby eyes darting all over your pretty face outlined by warm tone natural lights — your masks long discarded. “and in every other universe…it doesn’t end well. for either of them.”

you don’t bother finishing your sentence, swallowing the lump in your throat along with the fate you might meet if you lean into your greed to be with katsuki. it’s only then that you notice his hand slipping away, retreating behind the wall he builds up around himself — to keep himself closed off and protected from getting hurt. 

“i wish i could change that.” he mumbles distantly, looking out at the world, the universe as if he’s been scorned. cursed by the mask once more. it’s like the stars have turned against him and are mocking him as they come out to play — reminding bakugou that everyone he’s ever loved will get hurt because of him…eventually. everyone including you. “prove ‘em wrong, yanno?” 

even still, he offers you his signature lazy smirk and twinkling mischievous red eyes and you can’t help but fall for him all over again. 

“yeah,” comes your soft reply. “maybe there’s a chance that things can work out.” 

“a first time for everythin’, yeah?”

this time, neither of you pull back as your head comes to rest on his shoulder. 

for a moment, the world stills. freezing time for the only two people in the universe may truly understand one another. 

freezing, for you and katsuki. 

꒰ end. — all rights reserved © tteokdoroki 2023. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

[drainsdorm]

the realization that you’ve fallen out of love is brutal, bittersweet at times, but brutal. merlin didn’t mean to fall out of love with arthur, it was in no way an active decision but rather a subconscious defense mechanism, a barrier to protect his overly generous heart. merlin was well aware that they couldn’t maintain what they had in its delicate secrecy forever, yet he willingly drowned himself in arthur’s affections anyway, even if it only made it excruciatingly more difficult to call it quits when the time inevitably came.

the night before the wedding, merlin shut the door behind him as he entered arthur’s chambers, standing before the king who sat pensively by the fireplace.

“if you are to remain on this path and devote yourself to another, i don’t think that we, or i, can continue,” merlin spoke in one breath, the anxiety of this dreaded conversation getting to him.

“we can’t or you don’t want to?” arthur asked without sparing a single glance.

“both.”

“both?”

“i apologize but i cannot bear to indefinitely be a skeleton in your closet.”

“merlin, that isn’t what’s happening at all.”

“tell people about us then.”

“you know i can’t-“

“then at least you’ll have gwen to love you dearly.”

“are you implying that i am soon to lose your love?” arthur finally locked eyes with merlin, a steel gaze that would be nearly impossible to pry away from.

“i’m afraid it’s already been lost.”

the silence that followed was unbearable, it ate away at each man’s heart like piranhas to a slab of meat. arthur had already averted his now glossy eyes, staring into the fireplace where no fire burned, just the desolate grimness of darkened wood and scattered ashes. merlin gnawed at the inside of his cheeks to compose himself. knowing well that he couldn’t, he began to make his quiet exit, pausing in the middle of the doorway for a few moments, softly remarking, “it isn’t your fault,” and he was gone.

merlin did the right thing in his mind, but selfishly, he wished that arthur would come banging on his door to tell him the wedding was off, that he was ready to devote himself entirely, that tradition no longer shackled him into a predetermined life. perhaps it was just a case of right person wrong time, maybe merlin would just have to endure arthur’s inevitable death and inevitable return, praying that by then, it would be the right time for them.

[transdimensional-void]

can’t remember whether i thought of this myself or was inspired by someone else, but i like to interpret bbc merlin as modern-day merlin’s fuzzy memories of what happened back then.

it’s an easy fix for all inconsistencies you might notice. 

anachronisms such as people in camelot eating tomatoes? that’s just because merlin’s forgotten exactly when tomatoes came into his life, and he likes them so much now that he can’t help inserting them into his warm, fuzzy memories of meals with gaius.

morgana's heel-turn seems too extreme and sudden? that’s because all of merlin’s memories of her are colored by what he knows she eventually became. plus it’s too painful for him to remember that there was a grey area, a time when he might still have been able to save her, now that he knows for certain that he didn’t.

gwen and arthur’s relationship seems to lack some key scenes of emotional development? well, merlin only knows what he witnessed himself or heard about their relationship from the two of them, and they didn’t share their most special and private moments with him. also, he can’t help but focus more on his own relationship with arthur, convincing himself now that it was love. it was. 

it’s also great for coming up with absolutely bonkers theories about character motivations. tonight i’m watching 3x10, “queen of hearts,” and my gf pointed out that it’s so weird how much time and energy morgana is devoting to trying to break up arthur and his girlfriend. so i told her that it was actually merlin trying to break up arthur and gwen, but he doesn’t like to remember how petty he was back then, so his sins get conveniently shoved onto morgana.

[strawbrrydior]

TBP HEADCANONS

• Vance likes to be nurtured and prefers quiet, gentle things. If you approach him nicely and you talk to him nicely then he won’t be mean to you he just has a trigger for aggression.

• Bruce is multitalented. One of those guys who can do anything he really tries to and has done a lot. He’s done theatre, baseball, he’s really good at braiding hair and is excellent at writing informative essays but his main things are studying unsolved cases and filling notebooks with information on thinks he’s into.

• robin boxes every other day after school, he goes to this gym that’s sort of old and kind of empty so it’s usually just him in there. He brings a little radio and hustles a punching bag for hours. Sometimes Vance comes and works out with him, usually they don’t talk rather just enjoy each others company (and music taste. I think they like similar stuff.)

• Vance and Gwen and Amy are actually really good friends for some reasons 9/10 of the times the boys can’t find Vance it’s because he’s at one of their houses letting the girls braid his hair. He protects them but truly he’s scared of them they’re vicious rabid creatures

•Gwen, aside from her dreams and shit, just has really good intuition and can read people like books. Which is why she and Vance are such good friends because she reads him so well she somehow manages to know exactly whats wrong at all times, besides, she went through a stress toy phase and now has a drawer full of them she doesn’t use and Vance has taken all of them. Win win.

• griffin doesn’t know how to ride a bike. He swore up and down that he did and billy got annoyed and called his bluff, hopped off his bike and pat the seat. He couldn’t even get on it he was down on the sidewalk in half a second.

•billy is an advent fan of the outsiders and his favorite character is Darry. He likes to associate characters to his friends and it’s an inside joke between them who’s who. (Finney is pony boy, robin is Johnny. Vance is dally, Bruce is soda pop (but also billy argued he was cherry. He wanted to be soda pop) griffin is two bit, and billy is Darry. (And they wonder why that’s his favorite.) Gwen thinks she should be soda pop and Bruce should be cherry and not reverse but whatever! )

• finney and Gwen’s movie is grease. It’s their favorite, they have The soundtrack on tape and know the dances. They sing duets, finneys danny and Gwen is sandy. Gwen’s favorite song is hopelessly devoted and finneys is you’re the one that I want

•robin listens to a lot of rock and a bit of metal (mostly because of Vance who just needs someone to talk to about albums he likes so he tells Robin cuz Robin always actually listens to them.) he rly likes run dmc and the beastie boys. Any fast paced or loud music is his shit. Finney doesn’t like loud noises and he doesn’t enjoy listening to that kind of music it makes him antsy so their common ground is soft 50s / 60s music. (I.e those magic changes - Sha na na & anything Ritchie valens) but most of the time robin plays whatever he wants on his stereo and just keeps it super low.

•robin and Vance have daily smoke seshs in the bathroom (one robin fought to own literally. Like he put a group of seniors on their asses freshmen year and now it’s his bathroom no one goes in there)

•Billy’s really into old movies and is constantly in the library trying to read up on old 1920s actresses

•billy likes classical music. He buys cheap tapes and lets them play softly in the background

•robins bed is in the corner of his room against a wall so whenever finney sleeps over he sleeps on the side pressed against the wall because sometimes he gets nightmares and makes monsters out of the shadows in the room but from the corner he can’t see them.

•Vance hopper is a writer he’s awful at SAYINg how he feels so he writes to people. He writes poems and stories and stuff and he’s a real good story teller he just can’t figure out how to get the words out of his mouth

•griffin has undiagnosed adhd and spent all of his life getting yelled at by his mother over it. He’s self conscious about himself and tries to do things quietly in dark corners but the boys are never annoyed with him when he talks or runs around or stims and it helps him come to terms with himself

• griffins dad and Vance’s mom are dating and have been since they were younger. They live together and even though Vance still has to go see his dad on a court order and stuff griffin always waits at the doorstep for him or drives with his mom to drop and pick him up

•Bruce is the oldest in the group and takes on a motherly type role. He’s always there to help them, constantly feeds them and buys them stuff and talks to them like he’s sooo much older then them and how he’s sooo tired from raising kids and working but deep down it makes him happy to provide and make other people happy. He needs to be taken care of too and there’s always someone there for him (usually Vance because he’s a little more mature then the others and notices when Bruce is down before they do. Not their faults though, sometimes they just don’t peep it for a while.)

•robins mom loves finney, she jokes about loving him more then robin All the time. Sometimes they’ll lay at the foot of her bed while she’s watching tv and just whisper to eachother. She enjoys their company and really likes it when they stay home she much prefers they just stay right by her side for safety

•robin has a dog named paco , he’s a 3 year old brown pit bull. Very rowdy and clumsy just like robin :)

[reysdriver]

Origins | P.P.

After an incident at Oscorp, your academic rival Peter Parker calls you for help with the sticky situation he's found himself in — peter x gn!reader fluff

warnings: spiders/spider bites (but if you can't handle that then what are you doing here lmao?)

words: 1.9k

On an internship orientation at Oscorp, you only knew one other person in the group. Granted, you weren't the most popular person in your school and there were only 6 other students in the program, but you figured you would recognize at least a few others. 

Standing next to you as your group toured the laboratory was the boy tied with you for top student in your grade at Midtown High, Peter Parker. 

Of course he got the internship, you thought. 

Though your longtime academic rival was in the same program as you, you promised yourself you would not do anything to lose this opportunity. If you wanted a career in science, and you did, you would devote everything of yours to this internship.

At exactly 8 o'clock, exactly on time, a blonde woman in a lab coat approached the tour group and introduced herself. 

"Hello. My name is Gwen Stacy, and I'll be giving you interns a tour around the Oscorp building."

She looked young, maybe in her early twenties. Her age gave you a bit of hope that young people could get into the science industry. 

Your eyes started to wander while Gwen was talking about the history of Oscorp and you looked over at Peter Parker. He was looking at Gwen, but he had a particular gleam in his eye, a look of adoration. It was funny. Peter had a crush on a twentysomething giving them a tour of Oscorp's labs. 

Whatever, maybe if Peter was off his game because of a crush, you could prove yourself as the best and brightest intern in the group.

Gwen continued her lecture as your group started making your way into the actual lab instead of the lobby where your tour started. "And again, I apologize for making you all get here at 8 on a Saturday morning, but hey, that's the life of a scientist."

The group let out a small collective chuckle, but Peter laughed just a little too hard at her joke. 

She thanked the group for the laughter, said you were a great crowd, and continued to lead the group into one of the laboratories. 

"This is one of our biology labs, biomedical, actually." She said, swiping her work ID card and inputting a code into a keypad on the door, leading you all into a white room full of computers and terrariums. 

All the interns looked around the lab in astonishment. All of you with the same exact thoughts running through your head. 

After a second of letting you take it all in, Gwen continued her introduction of that particular lab. 

"Right now, this division is working on using properties of animals to use in medicine." She explained. "Over there is our reptile chamber, where we have lizards and geckos at the moment. And right next to you all is our spider terrarium."

She paused again so the group could take another look around, and you raised your hand to ask Gwen a question.

"Yes, (y/n)." She said, noting your name tag. 

"Is it true that you're using gamma radiation on those spiders to make them radioactive or is that just a rumor?" You asked, pointing at the terrarium as you spoke.

"That's exactly what we're doing." Gwen confirmed. "Both radiation and animals are, or have been, used in many different medicinal practices, so our biomedical scientists are working on combining the two."

You nodded, and noticed that some of the other group members looked confused, as if they were trying to think of a question to ask as well. 

"I love the curiosity, (y/l/n). I can tell that you've done your research. You seem like you'll be a great fit here at Oscorp." Gwen smiled. 

She continued to explain the other experiments being conducted at the moment in that department, and your eyes started to wander over to Peter again. He swatted the back of his neck, like he had felt something back there. He winced as if he was pinched, but in a second or two, returned his focus to the tour. 

_____

The next day, you hear your phone buzz from across the bed while you were doing your physics homework. 

Who would be trying to contact you right now? 

Your first thought was that it was another student from one of your classes asking for last minute homework help.

No, you disregarded the idea, It's not even noon yet. It wasn't last minute enough. 

After several more notification vibrations, you decide to see who it was and what they wanted. As you leaned over and reached for the phone, you noticed the notifications becoming closer and closer together, as if the messages were becoming more urgent. 

A look of confusion washed over your face as you read the contact at the top of the messages. 

"Peter Parker?" You said, accidentally out loud. 

What does Peter need so urgently? 

You scan the messages, seeing him rambling vague details about Oscorp and the biomed lab. Before you could read any more or even process anything you had just read, an incoming call screen appeared over the messages. 

Confused and reluctant, you hesitate to answer the call. After a tiny pause, you accept the phone call and hear Peter's continued fast-paced and disorienting rambling. 

"(y/n), oh my god, something really weird happened to me last night and I don't know what to do! I think it's because of the Oscorp tour yesterday but I don't know how it could happen to me. I don't want to say anything else over the phone, I just need you to come see this in person."

"Peter, what are you talking about?" You asked, completely flustered by his rambling. 

"I can't explain, I would just have to show you." 

You paused for an extended second. 

What is going on right now? 

"Please, (y/n), I need your help." Peter pleaded. 

"Okay." You sighed. "I'll come over and see what you're freaking out about." 

"Thank you, (y/n)." He said. "Okay, I'll see you in a minute. Wait, you need my address!"

"No, I don't. I've been over to your apartment to do schoolwork before. You still live with your aunt, right?"

"Yeah." He replied. 

"Okay, I'll be right over."

You hung up the phone, and gathered up your homework in a neat pile so nothing would be damaged. Then, you grabbed your backpack with your wallet and keys, and left your apartment, heading to Peter's place. 

_____

When you got to Peter's apartment, you stood in the brown hallway and knocked on his front door. His aunt quickly opened the door. She recognized you, which you didn't expect. 

"Hey, (y/n), right?" She greeted. 

You nodded, and she let you inside. 

"Are you here to see Peter?" She asked. She didn't seem to know about whatever was going on with Peter that was freaking him out so much, so you didn't say anything about it.  

"Um, yeah. It's a school thing we have to do." You told her, slightly turning to the side to display your backpack.

"Oh, alright, no problem. He's in his room right now." She smiled warmly. 

She called out for Peter, alerting him that you were here, and he told her to let you in. Then, she led you over to Peter's bedroom, and you knocked on his door, telling him it was just you. He unlocked his bedroom door, and anxiously urged you to come inside . You walked in, and he quickly shut the door behind you both, likely alerting suspicion in Peter's aunt. 

"What is going on?" You asked in a whisper-yell. 

"I don't know how to explain it, but..." He paused, trying to think of a way to describe his situation. "I just woke up and I'm sticky now."

You cringed, making a disgusted face and trying to avoid making eye contact with him. 

"Peter." You sighed. "Didn't you learn about this in the fifth grade? It's completely natural, but-"

He cut you off, realizing he had said the wrong thing and made you think of something completely different than what he meant. 

"No, no, ew, (y/n)!" He defended. "No, I mean I woke up super strong, and then everything started to get weird when I..." He paused and walked past you to grab something off of his bed. He picked up a metal water bottle by his bed and threw it, but it didn't leave his hand. "And I'm sticky. Things just keep sticking onto me."

"Alright, yeah." You rolled your eyes, not believing anything Peter was saying. "You're just holding it." 

"No, I'm serious. Look." 

He tries to throw the water bottle a few more times, aiming towards the wall. On the third or fourth attempt, the water bottle shot from his arm, through the screen of his window, looking like it made it at least five or six buildings away without hitting the ground. 

From another room, Peter's aunt heard the noise and asked what it was. 

"It's nothing, May! We're fine!" Peter shouted back.

"How did you do that?" You ask, eyeing him suspiciously. 

"I don't know!" He said loudly, then lowered his voice so as to not draw any more suspicion from his aunt in the other room. "That's the point!"

He walked past you again, making his way over to his desk, and pulling a glass over a piece of paper sitting there. Underneath the glass was something small that you couldn't identify. 

"And then, after I accidentally punched myself in the face trying to brush my teeth this morning, I noticed this inside my shirt from yesterday." He said, pointing to the object on the paper slip. 

You inspected it closer, now being able to identify it as one of the spiders from the biomed lab yesterday. The reason Peter smacked his neck on the tour. 

"Oh god, Parker. Don't tell me you actually let an experiment bite you on the neck yesterday." You said. 

"I did. Accidentally. And now I need your help because I don't know what it's doing to me."

You started laughing. At first it became a small chuckle, then it developed into close to a laughing fit. 

"It's not funny, (y/l/n)!"

"Oh, it's absolutely funny. You're an imbecile, and now you're going to lose the Oscorp internship for it if they find out. Plus, you're becoming some spider-man hybrid thing. Don't be surprised when you wake up tomorrow with four extra limbs!" 

"You don't actually think that's going to happen, right?" He asked, a large amount of concern in his voice. 

"Oh, I definitely think they'd kick you out of the internship for that." You said, your laugh silencing. 

"But the limb part?!"

"If you were listening to Gwen yesterday instead of sniffing her hair the whole time or whatever that was, you would know that yes, those spiders are experimental, they're radioactive. But they're being made for sick people, so that they can regain their strength, sharpness, and all abilities." 

"So?" He asked. 

"So, you'll be fine. Likely."

His eyes widened in shock at the last part, not realizing that you were kidding.

"I'm joking, Parker." You told him. "It'll actually probably just make you cooler. You could be a jock for the first time in your life."

[laismoura-art]

Heya, folks! Look what the tide brought! It's ma girl!

☆☆☆☆SCORPION!HARUMI☆☆☆☆

Click to see all the details and extra info!

If you just got here, this is Harumi Hasashi in her Spider Gwen Era!

This is a reality where Harumi became the Scorpion of the Shirai Ryu!

I wrote an entire backstory for her and had lots of fun brainstorming with my gal @mikka-minns, and you can find it all right here (I recommend you read the reblogs too 👀)!

And as I was specially inspired, I also made a second design! May I introduce you to:

☆☆☆☆Sub-Zero!Lisa Liang☆☆☆☆

She was Minnie's idea!

Lisa Liang is the forgotten Sub-Zero Sibling, but here she has a special role being Harumi's main Sub-Zero rival and love interest!

Lisa's personally is quite similar to Kuai Liang in Battle of the Realms. She is driven by her emotions, devoted, dedicated and extremely stubborn!

But her tough exterior hides a bold and gentle heart! She is extremely caring of her family and those she consider friends and allies. Never dare to cause harm to her loved ones, you do not wish to be on the receiving end of her wrath!

Much like her older brother, Bi-Han, Lisa has gathered countless enemies, to which would prove to be too much for a single warrior, luckily for the Cryomancer, she is not alone, for her guardian, her Scorpion, her lover, Harumi Hasashi, dutifully and loyally fights alongside her in every battle!

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

You met the Girlfriends! Now allow me to introduce you to some other members of this AU!

KUAI LIANG:

Youngest of the Sub-Zero Siblings! Being 9 years younger than Bi-Han and 3 minutes younger than Lisa, Kuai had to learn form a young age how to stand his ground so he wouldn't be bossed around by their own siblings!

Naturally born leader and wise beyond his age. He and Lisa lead the Lin Kuei to a new era of prosperity as defenders of Earthrealm!

Kuai was the first to reach out and seek to make peace with Harumi, once she had proven deserving of his forgiveness.

As he was also under the Scorpion's protection, he had spent plenty of time with her, and they soon became close friends, they would confide to each other from the most mundane to the deepest secrets.

He was the first Harumi confided her love for Lisa. And he was also the first Lisa confided her love for Harumi.

He told both the same thing: Well, wasn't that obvious?

BI-HAN (AND SAREENA)

The oldest of the Sub-Zero Siblings, Bi-Han is known to be ruthless, cruel and merciless to all his enemies!

And though he lives up to his reputation, few know that he is not beyond merciful acts, "never women and children" is his one rule!

And even after he was swallowed by darkness and driven to madness under Quan Chi's spells, this one rule remained.

With one solemn exception: His murderer, the Scorpion of the Shirai Ryu.

For years, he sought revenge. And he would fight anyone who dared to stand in his way, even his own twin siblings.

He felt betrayed the first time they fought. Betrayed, heartbroken, confused and extremely angry! He could not comprehend why his own siblings would chose this Shirai Ryu, his killer, over him!

He would keep fighting them for years, each time more aggressively, more heartbroken, till one day his sister stood bravely between him and his prey, "If you want her, you will have to kill me first" she told him. And as much as he hated his siblings at that moment, he could never hurt them.

He disappeared after that fight, back to Netherrealm. He could not comprehend, couldn't fathom why his sister would ever put her life in such a risk for some Scorpion!

He stayed in hell for the years to come, but not alone. He had made himself a friend, a demon called Sareena. She was nice to him, and dreamed with a life if freedom, out of Netherrealm.

He liked to hear her escape plans, and after some time, he even started to come up with some plans of his own and brainstorm with her. Till one day, they managed to escape!

Sareena was happy, she bounced and giggled happily, regarding her new surroundings in awe.

Bi-Han loved that sight of her. He loved her. And he would never let anything or anyone hurt her!

And it hit him.

Why his sister would not let him hurt that stupid little Scorpion.

Bi-Han never apologised to Harumi for trying to kill her. He never even apologised to his own siblings. He never felt he truly owed them an apology.

But he did tell them he would not let any harm come to them. To any of them.

Kuai, always the diplomat, invited him and Sareena to join them for lunch someday.

"We will see..." was his only response, "we will see..."

HANZO HASASHI

Harumi has met Hanzo twice in her life.

First time she met him, was when they were kids. He came to her village one day, and requested the Grandmaster himself to give him a home to live and in exchange he would train to become the greatest of all warriors!

It was a bold request for such a small child, but Harumi never doubted him, much due to her own ambitions being quite similar, if not the same as his!

Harumi, dreamed of being Scorpion!

It did not take long before the two of them started to get along! They would play together and when the time came, they started to train together!

They had a pact, the two of them: "We will help each other become the best warriors of the clan! And whoever becomes Scorpion names the other as their second in command!"

One pact they dutifully kept! Harumi was named Scorpion and she took Hanzo as her Second in Command, and in that same day, she also took him as her husband.

Harumi loved Hanzo deeply. And together they build a home for themselves and their son. They were her world.

But that world was brutally taken from her. Hanzo was taken from her. And from that day on, she would never be the same.

The second time she met Hanzo he was not quite her Hanzo.

He was from another reality, one in which he was named Scorpion and she was his Second in Command. She was also his wife, mother of his son, his world. World that was also brutally taken from him.

He was not exactly like her Hanzo, even if subtly, she could tell he was his own person, but happily, he was a person she grew to adore!

He was lovely, with the biggest of all heats. She could tell his Harumi was loved by him.

Their meeting was quite a necessary event, things buried deeply in their hearts finally found their say out and a feeling of peace hovered above them.

Closure was found. And with it, a newly found need to move on!

They were quite similar, this Hanzo and Harumi. There was much about their lives they shared, good and bad.

But it was when he confided his love not for her but for his world's Kuai Liang that she realised another similarity:

That Scorpion is bound to fall in love with Sub-Zero.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Oh Hey! You made it!!! How you liking this AU so far?

Have any ideas? Questions? Suggestions? Please share them all! I would love to make this AU grow!!

@mikka-minns, my darling! Again, thank you for the ideas! I hope you are enjoying this AU specially! Lysm💛🩷💛🩷💛🩷

Also, please, have some icons!💛💙

[tightjeansjavi]

Burning in a Hopeless Dream

Boston QZ : Part 10

“Safe & Sound”

Joel Miller x f!o/c

A/N: whew! What a journey this has been thus far. If a man ever treated me as well as Joel treats Gwen? Lord have mercy, I would fold so fucking fast. You’ll be in tears by the end. He’s so sweet to her, and your teeth will start aching. P.S. if you ever wanna write the softest, yet most toe curling smut in your life, just listen to ‘Roslyn’ by Bon Iver on mf repeat.

Summary: 2 weeks has passed since the night you were stabbed by one of Robert’s henchmen. Joel has refused to leave your side as you rest. He’s hopelessly devoted to you. He would do anything, kill anyone, just to see your eyes again.

~word count : 6.5k~

Warnings: implied age gap, established relationship, angst, trauma, brief mentions of PTSD. descriptions of a stab wound healing, hurt, comfort, overwhelming emotions, swearing, underlying possession, mentions of death, fluff, soft!Joel, protective!joel, feelings of guilt, consent, consent, consent, smut, mentions of fingering, teasing, edging, nipple play, praise kink, nicknames, unprotected p in v (wrap it kids) cock warming, after care, joel taking care of you the entire chapter pretty much about sums it all up. (+18) minors dni !

Songs for this chapter:

“Safe & Sound” by Taylor Swift/The Civil Wars

“Roslyn” by Bon Iver/Saint Vincent

“On the Nature of Daylight” by Max Richter

“Here With Me” by d4vd

“I Can’t Go on Without You” by KALEO

“Shelter” by Dorothy

“To Be Alone” by Hozier

“Can’t Take My Eyes Off You” by Engelbert Humperdinck

“Work Song” by Hozier

“Long Long Time” by Linda Ronstadt

“Kiss Me” by Ed Sheeran

April 2021 : Boston QZ

**Gwendolyn Gwen Brooks POV**

**flashback 1 week prior**

The last thing you could remember through your state of deliria was Joel’s voice, pleading with you to open your eyes. “Baby, baby. Hey, baby. Open your eyes dammit, please. Your eyes are so beautiful, Gwen. Please let me see them again.” He stroked your cheekbones gently, tears running down his face. “We’re gonna fix you right up. Gonna stop the bleeding and stitch you up, okay?” He had kissed you then, for the first time. He kissed you with tears wetting his cheeks, leaving salty streaks in their wake. He could taste the blood on your lips from the gash on your head, but he kissed you as if he could breathe life back into you from his lips alone.

His voice sounded fuzzy from the ringing in your ears. Everything around you sounded so far away as you were fighting to stay alive. You weren’t ready to go just yet. The world may have gone to shit, but you still wanted to fucking live. You swore in your last conscious moments, Joel Miller had kissed you.

He kissed you.

He kissed you.

He kissed YOU.

You could taste the salty sweat mixed with his tears on his lips. The desperation seeping from his soul as he kissed you. Then, it all went black.

***end of flashback***

There were three times in your 28 years of life where you feared dying. The first was when your parents had gotten infected. 8 years ago, you lived with your immediate and extended family on your uncle’s horse ranch in Northern Michigan. Each year, more of your family was picked off, till it was down to the bare bones. Your parents hadn’t meant to get infected. No one really ever does. They just were in the wrong place, at the wrong time. What hurt the most as you remembered, was the fact that they hid that they had gotten bit. They were too ashamed, too afraid to tell their only daughter that their end was near. You could still remember the sound of their snarls, the dead look in their eyes. The sudden flip of the switch and your mom and dad were attacking you. You pleaded with them to stop. You didn’t want to kill them, but what choice did you have? It was either you, or them. You were the last surviving member of the Brooks family, and you were on the run.

The second time you feared death was getting caught up with some raiders. The group you had formed for the past few years had gotten split up and you were once again, alone and vulnerable. You knew you couldn’t take on a group of men on your own, so you did what you did best, you ran like hell. Right into Joel and Tess. You remembered the fear in your eyes, the adrenaline pumping in your veins as you threw the knife at his face. You had no time to figure out in those moments if these strangers were friends or fo. You were gonna continue to do whatever it took to survive.

The third time you feared death was when James stabbed you back at the abandoned QZ bookstore. The feeling of the blade piercing your gut, the air being knocked out of your lungs. Your anguished cries as you fell back, clutching your wound. Seeing stars behind your eyes from the pain. You could hear Joel’s screams, you could feel his heart pounding against his chest as he lifted you into his arms. His voice pleading with you. This by far, was the moment you feared death the most. You couldn’t run, you couldn’t hide and you were all out of ideas. Joel. Your fellow, your guy, didn’t deserve to deal with you dying in his arms. Despite the odds being stacked against you, you were gonna fight like hell.

______________________

You slept for a week straight. From the blood loss alone, your body was too weak and it needed its rest if you were going to fully recover. Joel was absolutely reluctant to leave your side. In fact, nothing was going to make him budge. Nearly losing you, had psychologically fucked with him. He had gone as far to sleep on the floor, next to the couch where you were resting. He held your hand in his and refused to let go, even when his arm ached and he lost feeling in it. By day 3, Tess had to physically force him to go and shower and change his clothes. He fought her on it in the beginning, but from his own lack of sleep and pure exhaustion, he gave in eventually. His much needed shower lasted all of five minutes. He didn’t care that the water was cold, or that he had gotten a bit of expired soap in his eyes. No, all that mattered was getting back to you on the couch.

Tess had sat beside you then while Joel was showering. She had checked how your wound was healing. Gently lifting your shirt up, she assessed the damage. She was looking for any signs that your wound could be infected and just as she was reaching for the bottle of Penicillin, Joel was coming down the hall, his hair dripping wet and he had a fresh shirt on, his eyes locked on the couch. His footsteps were heavy and fast as he approached and sank down on the end of the coffee table. He reached for your hand then, grabbing it gently in his larger one as he interlocked his fingers with yours. He’d be losing his mind right now if he couldn’t feel the warmth of your palm around his.

“How’s she doin?” He rasped, voice thick with exhaustion and lack of sleep.

“She’s hanging in there. Not out of the woods yet, and I'm still concerned that she’s gonna get an infection, Joel.”

He nodded then, giving your hand a squeeze as he brought it up to his lips, lightly brushing a soft kiss to your knuckles. His eyes focused on your peaceful face. With his free hand, he leaned over the couch, bringing two fingers against the spot where your jaw meets your neck so he could feel your pulse. It was there, but still faint. He retracted his hand then before his eyes zoned in on your wound. He had made sure to change the bandages over the stitches every few hours. He was extremely careful and gentle as he cleaned around the wound. What upset him this morning was seeing the evident blooming bruises scattered about your body. Bruises from James sending the heel of his boot into your gut. He took a deep breath then, exhaling out of his nose as he cleared those thoughts from his mind. He gently pulled your shirt back down over the exposed skin, bringing his free hand up to rub it against his face. It was killing him inside that you weren’t awake yet. He truly had no idea how long till your body would regain its strength again. He’d do anything, kill anyone, just to see your eyes, hear your voice, your laugh–

“Joel?” Tess spoke when he didn’t respond to her immediately. She could tell he was in some deep thoughts.

He blinked a few times, lifting his head up to look at her then.

“I heard you. Just, processing is all. Go ahead and give her some more of that. She’s breathin alright. That’s a good sign, right?”

Tess didn’t want to give him any false hope. If they had the proper tools, if hospitals still existed. Then sure, she’d be comfortable telling him that your chance of survival was pretty damn high. However, with these circumstances, she couldn’t sit there and lie to him and say that you would probably be okay. Especially when she wasn’t so sure of your survival either.

She looked over at him then, taking in the permanent frown etched between his brows. How dull his eyes looked. His lips were severely cracked, bleeding in some areas of the delicate skin. She expected he probably had picked at them till they bled as a distraction. To put it simply, the man looked miserable.

“Yeah, it's a good sign that she’s breathing Joel. We can’t get our hopes up right away, we don’t know if she’s going to–”

He cut her off then, his jaw clenching and unclenching. You were not going to die.

“No, Tess. Don’t say another word. Her body is just restin. She’s gonna be fine. Don’t you dare go speakin like that.”

She reached over to him then, gently squeezing his knee before she grabbed the bottle of penicillin beside him and extracted the liquid through the needle. She injected it in the same section of your arm that he had. Once the medicine was administered, she set the vial and needle back down beside him.

“You should really think about maybe getting out of the apartment for a few hours Joel. I can stay here with her and watch over her. You haven’t seen the sun in days, and it really might do you some good.”

He shook his head immediately. There was no way in fucking hell that he was going to leave your side for more than 5 minutes. He gave into finally taking a shower, but leaving the apartment, leaving you like this was not an option in his mind.

“No. I ain’t leavin her side Tess. Don’t ask me again, please.”

She let out a sigh then. Knowing that he wasn’t going to budge anytime soon.

“Alright, fine. It was just a suggestion. Just thought y’know it maybe would do you some good.” She got up from the couch then, grabbing her worn backpack off the chair in the kitchen.

“The only thing that’s gonna be doin me any good is staying here, by her side Tess. If I leave, even just for a bit, I can’t protect her. She’s fuckin vulnerable right now.”

Tess had looked over at him then as she slung her backpack over her shoulder, tucking her gun away. It broke her heart to see him this distraught. She may have let him go, but she still deeply cared for him and nothing was going to change that.

“Alright, I get it. I won’t mention it again, okay? I’ll be back later. Try to sleep, if you can.”

She gave him one last once over, with a slight nod, before she left the apartment. Quietly shutting the door behind her and locking it.

Joel knew that Tess was only thinking of the best for him. He just truly could not fathom leaving your side. He slowly stood from the coffee table, only to sink down onto the floor, on his knees, still grasping your hand. He used his free hand to lightly brush a few strands of hair from your delicate face. “Hey, don’t listen to her shit okay? I ain’t goin anywhere and you’re not dyin. Not on my fuckin watch.”

His forehead slowly came to rest upon your exposed arm as he closed his eyes for a moment.

“Look, honey. I would literally do anything, kill anyone just to fuckin see your eyes again Gwen. You take your time though, okay? Just, please get better. I’ll be here waiting for you, just like I promised. Remember that?” He waited for some miracle to happen. That suddenly your wound would be healed, and you’d open your eyes. He was grimly reminded that this wasn’t a fairytale. He wasn’t the prince charming who could wake you from his kiss alone. You weren’t the princess either. You both were just two people who endured the harsh reality of survival.

_______

For the next few days, Joel continued to be by your side. You started to show some improvement. It was nearly unnoticeable, but it was enough for his spirits to lift. He found himself talking to you more. It gave him some form of comfort, minimal at most, but it was something. He’d talk to you about Texas, his brother Tommy, Sarah, and how she probably would have fuckin adored you. He tells you about the painted portrait of you that Frank made, and how he’s going to give it to you as soon as you wake up. He tells you how he keeps the painting in his shirt pocket at all times, right against his heart. He even reads to you. He hopes that somehow, all of these one-sided conversations he has, will somehow coax you awake. Each kiss to your head, each gentle squeeze to your hand, has him hoping that you can feel it. That you can feel and hear him all around you, and that you're wishing you could open your eyes and see him too. Just as badly as he’s dying to see you.

By day 7, you were beginning to show increasing signs of improvement. Your breathing wasn’t as shallow, the color was slowly returning to your face and thanks to the penicillin, you surpassed getting an infection. Your body was still very much in pain, and you had a long way to go before you could be on your feet again. It was early evening when your fingers twitched the slightest in Joel’s hand. He hadn’t felt it at first, until your fingers had flexed again and he sat up immediately. Glancing down at your fingers interlocked with his. You moved them again, and his heart skipped a fucking beat. “Baby? Hey, honey. Can ya hear me?” His tone was incredibly gentle as he looked down at your face, waiting for the moment that you would open your eyes, anticipating it. Joel’s voice sounded closer, less fuzzy and more clear. You were slowly gaining your consciousness back and Joel was right there, just like he promised. When your eyes finally fluttered open, you had no recollection of where you were, and why there was a sudden dull pain coursing through your lower abdomen. Then, it all came rushing back. James, the knife, Joel. You panicked. Your body was trembling, eyes wide and frantic as you quickly sat up, wincing from the pain. You couldn’t form words, you were a shell of yourself and James had fucked you up, that was evident. You could feel Joel’s calloused, warm palms cupping your face. His touch was so gentle, you almost didn't feel it. His warm brown eyes were looking into your frantic ones. “Hey, hey. Look, Gwen. It’s me. It’s me. You’re okay, you’re safe. Y o u a r e s a f e.” He spoke to you reassuringly, his eyes stricken with concern as he looked at you.

You were in disbelief that he was really there. Your lips had parted open then, processing your conscious state. What you did next, threw Joel for a loop. You had gently grabbed his face then, and kissed him. There were fresh tears rolling down your cheeks as you went through an overwhelming amount of emotions. You felt like you were being hit by a fucking freight train. Over, and over again. A choked sob slipped past your throat then as he kissed you back. As soon as you broke down, Joel was cradling you against his chest as you clutched his shirt between your fists, gasping for air. The choked, anguished sounds emitting from your chest, shattered Joel to his core. “Hey, Gwen. Shh..shh..honey, it’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you now. I’ve got you.” He had whispered softly against your hair. His one hand was gently holding the back of your head, while the other was resting against your lower back.

You struggled to take deep breaths then as he held you. It felt like your tears were neverending, heavy like a rainstorm as they trickled down your chin. You spoke finally, your voice was raw and cracked. “J-Joel i’m sorry I–shouldn’t have i’m sorry–” He cut you off in a hushed tone then, you had nothing to be sorry for, certainly not for kissing him. That was the last thing he wanted you to be upset at yourself for. “Gwen, honey. You don’t gotta apologize for that. Okay?”

You slowly lifted your chin from his shirt then, eyes glassy and your cheeks flushed and wet with salty tears. Your lower lip was quivering as you slowly nodded. “Okay.” You whispered softly.

“What can I do to..comfort you? I’ll do anythin, okay? Just name it. I hate seein you like this baby. Fuckin tearing me up inside.” He watched as you rested your cheek against his chest once more, your fingers had loosened their tight grip around his shirt now, but you weren’t going to let go anytime soon.

“Just–please hold me. Please, just hold me.”

He nodded then. Bringing his hand that rested against your lower back, higher up, pulling you into him as physically close as possible. Even then, that wasn’t enough.

“I can do that honey. I won’t let go, I promise.” Even when his arms began to ache, he refused to let go of you.

____________________

Sometime after, you had fallen asleep in Joel’s arms. You were exhausted and it was clear that your body needed more rest. He didn’t have the heart to wake you from your peaceful slumber so he instead carefully lifted you from the couch. His knees cracked slightly, and his back ached but he didn’t care about any of that. He quietly carried you to your room, setting you down upon the crumpled sheets. As soon as you could no longer feel his touch, you subconsciously reached for him. Your fingers were outstretched in his direction, searching for him. “Joel.” You whispered into the darkness.

“I’m right here, honey.” He answered right back. You could feel the bed dip down slightly from his body easing onto the mattress. You felt his strong arms slide around your smaller frame, pulling you into his chest gently. “M’right here.” He rasped out. He had pressed a feather light kiss to your forehead then. “Rest now, sugar. You’re safe.” His voice was like whiskey, smooth, warm, and comforting. That’s all it took to lull you back to sleep. Joel fought his own exhaustion then, forcing his eyes to stay open for as long as he could. He intended from this moment forward, to always keep you safe. When he could no longer fight to stay awake, his eyes fluttered shut. His dreams flourished with images of you.

You found it incredibly easy to slip into a routine with Joel. Not that you had much of a choice in the matter. He wouldn’t let you out of his sight. Not wanting you to exert too much energy. This man had gone from a big fat grump, to being overly protective of you. Not that you were really complaining. The thing was, you didn’t view Joel as your boyfriend now. The title seemed too cliche. You weren’t into the cliches, and neither was he. Your relationship was complicated, raw, and very much real. He spent every waking minute with you now. This level of domesticity was something that you had always craved, but never thought you’d ever get the pleasures of enjoying. Joel had no issues giving this pleasure to you. He found it to be just as comfortable as you did. He’d truly be okay with taking whatever it was that you’d offer him. Just having a small piece of you meant the world to him. You evaded talking about what had happened, nearly a month ago now. He didn’t push you to talk about it. If and when you were ready, he’d be there to listen. You had taken notice of Tess's continuous absence from the apartment. You hadn't seen her since that night. Joel assured you that Tess was fine, she was off doing her thing, whatever that had meant.

You could tell that the seasons were changing just by the warmth of the sun seeping in through the windows. It was comforting. Spring was in full bloom and you just wished for a moment, that you and Joel weren’t in this apartment. That instead, you were somewhere far away, tucked in a cozy cottage in the woods. It was a nice dream to have, as long as you realized it would never come true. Joel was comfortably sprawled out on the couch with your back resting against his chest. You still were getting used to the fact that Joel fucking Miller, enjoyed a good book now. You’d cause this man to turn absolutely soft. These moments were for your eyes, and your eyes only. Something had washed over you in those next few moments as you listened to Joel’s steady heartbeat, the rise and fall of his chest, his light chuckle at something he had read, the sound of the worn paper being flipped to the next page. Joel Miller was entirely yours.

You had carefully sat up then, turning so you were facing him now. His eyes flickered up to yours momentarily with a raise of his brow. You had delicately wrapped your fingers over the top of the book’s worn spine and coaxed it out of his grasp, tossing it onto the coffee table with a soft thud.

He made a slight sound of protest then. “Sugar, why’d you go and do that huh? I was still readin–” He was cut off by your finger tip lightly pressing to his lips then, silencing him. Joel was stunned, to say the least. You had slowly sank down into his lap then, straddling his hips, stealing the oxygen from his lungs.

“Is this okay?” You asked him then and his heart nearly burst right then and there.

“Huh? Yeah, honey course this is fine. What’re you up to?” His tone was light, and held a sense of amusement. He watched your face carefully then as he slowly dragged his hands up your thighs and settled them around your waist, playing with the ends of your frayed shirt. One that you had stolen from him.

“Can I kiss you, please?”

He let out a deep, throaty chuckle then. You were killin him slowly without even realizing it.

“Yeah, ‘darlin, Course you can. You don’t need to ask me twice.” He teased.

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. Why were you so nervous? This was Joel, your Joel. Your fellow, your guy.

The feeling of his thumbs rubbing soothing circles against the soft skin on your hip bones was enough to coax you from your thoughts and back to reality. You leaned down then, cupping his strong jaw in your hand, your eyes locked on his, you were both anticipating the moment. Time seemed to stop when you had finally kissed him. His eyes fluttered shut, his fingers grasping firmly to your skin. Your lips were so sweet and he could easily find himself getting drunk off kissing you. you were his favorite drug by far. Your breaths were in sync as you kissed him languidly. You wanted to savor this fucking moment. Your chest was flush against his now. His kisses became desperate, needy. His teeth clashed against yours as he allowed himself the freedom of being completely consumed in you. He nipped your lower lip lightly then, letting his hands slip under your thin shirt, feeling the expanse of your warm skin beneath his touch.

“Tell me if it becomes too much. Don’t wanna overwhelm you.” He mumbled against your lips.

“Please, keep going.” Was your immediate response. There was zero hesitation behind your words. You wanted him as terribly as he wanted you. Your fingers were already toying with the buttons on his flannel as you detached your lips from his and started to pepper kisses along his jaw. He let out a hum of appreciation.

“Sit up honey.” His tone was huskier now, dripping with the desire for you.

You slowly sat up then, your cheeks were flushed and your lips were swollen from his kisses. You watched as Joel slowly began to lift your shirt from the hem. His eyes never left yours as more of your skin was revealed. He sat up slightly then gently gliding the fabric up your torso, over your breasts and finally, your head. The fabric was discarded to the side then. His fingers reached out and lightly brushed against your imperfect skin. Littered with scars, indents, you were like his own personal constellation. His thumb had brushed against the stitching on your abdomen then. You sucked in a harsh breath from the contact.

“You’re so fucking beautiful Gwen.” He breathed out.

Now you were the one left in shock. The butterflies swirled deep in the pit of your stomach and your head was spinning.

“Cat got your tongue, ‘darlin?”

He had a small smirk on his face now and you could see his dimple peeking out. God, this mother fucker was so handsome, you could melt into a puddle right now. “Shut up. You just always know what to say and frankly? It’s annoying as hell.”

He chuckled then, wrapping his arms around you, tilting his head down to be level with yours before he captured your lips in another searing kiss.

“Mmm. I tend to have that effect on ya sugar. What can I say?”

His lips had sinfully dipped from yours and made their descent down your jaw, nipping at the spot where your jaw met your neck. You immediately leaned into him then, stifling a quiet moan. He had found your sweet spot with ease. “You’re gonna be the death of me, Miller. I swear to god.”

“Ditto, Sugar.” You could feel his slick smirk against your searing skin. Your mouth fell open when he had sucked harshly at your thin skin, leaving marks in their wake. When his lips dipped lower, and lower, the need for more was becoming nearly unbearable. He had licked a hot stripe between the valley of your breasts. Your fingers had found their way into his hair, gripping his soft curls as you let your nails lightly scratch his scalp.

When his mouth finally enclosed around your nipple, you nearly fell apart. His teeth nipped at the sensitive skin, biting down slightly causing you to jolt from the sensation.

“Fuck.” You gasped.

He hummed in response, bringing his other hand around the swell of your untouched breast. Toying with your nipple between his thumb and forefinger while his mouth continued to expertly worked the other. It was a delicious combination, the way his mouth and fingers played you like a violin. You found yourself grasping his hair tighter, yanking him up suddenly before pressing a chaste kiss to his lips drinking in his low chuckle that rumbled from deep within his chest.

“I wasn’t done with ya yet. You’re a needy little thing, huh?”

“Shut up, Joel.” You mumbled against his lips and in one swift movement, he had turned the tables, flipping you gently so you were underneath him now. Your back hit the couch with a soft thud before his lips were on yours once more. Your fingers frantically began to undo the buttons of his flannel. He broke the kiss only to help you out with the last few before you were pushing the fabric down his broad shoulders and biceps. It was soon discarded with your shirt on the floor. Your lips met once more, desperation seeping through both of you.

“I’m gonna take care of ya, okay honey? Will you let me do that, please?”

You were nearly clawing at his skin now, your nails lightly scraping his biceps.

“Please, Joel. Don’t make me beg you.”

He nipped at your lip once more, tugging it out with his teeth before he released it.

“Ain’t gonna go and put you through that kinda torture, sugar. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that. I got you.” His forehead was lightly resting against yours now, his lips barely touching yours. He was the devil, you were certain of it. He watched your eyes intently then as he slowly dragged his hand down your torso, brushing against your navel. Your skin felt electrified from his touch then as his hand dipped lower, and lower.

“G’nna take these off now, okay honey?”

All you could do was nod, your breath was caught in your throat and he had barely touched you yet. You felt his hand grasp the waistband of your sweats then, slowly pulling them down over your hip and thighs and past your ankles. He was taking his sweet time with you, and it was driving you crazy. His hand came between your inner thighs then, coaxing them open, not that he even had to try. His fingers had slowly dipped down under your panties, toying with your slick folds as he spread them open.

“Wet for me already, hm? You're absolutely drippin for me baby.” His words were straight filth to your ears as you felt your back arch up towards him, lips parted open, a low moan slipping past them.

He toyed with your clit then, moving his fingers in expert slow circles, applying just enough pressure for you to mewl. His fingers were slick with your arousal then as he brought his middle finger down lower, circling your entrance as he slipped it into your warmth, slowly. His finger was knuckle deep as he curled it against the spongy spot of your walls. As your moans slipped out of your parted lips freely, he drank them in, kissing you once more as he slipped his forefinger in and slowly began to pump them in and out of you. Listening to the squelching sounds of your pussy clamping down around his thick digits.

You were a mess already as you kissed him, your lips struggling to keep up with his as he continued to ruin you with his fingers. His free hand had reached up to cup your face then, stroking your cheekbone with his thumb as he watched you slip into pleasure.

“Feels good, doesn’t it Sugar? You’re takin my fingers so well baby. You can hold on a little longer, can’t you honey?” He had used his thumb to circle your clit once more as he increased the pace of his fingers, curling them inside you once more.

You let out a strangled moan, your eyes rolling back into your skull.

“I-I can hold on a little longer baby, fuck.”

His lips curved up then from your response. He took note of how you called him baby and god, did he love it.

“That’s it. Good girl. You’re such a good girl for me honey.” He praised you then. One last curl of his fingers deep inside you, nearly had you on the edge. Before you could be seeing stars, he had slipped his fingers out. They were coated in your arousal and you watched with hooded eyes, in a daze as he slipped them past his lips, licking his fingers clean right before your very eyes. This man was the definition of Filth.

“You taste so fuckin sweet honey. G’nna have to get a proper taste of you later, okay? It’ll be my treat. You’ll love it, I promise.”

He was kissing you again, letting you have a taste of yourself against his lips. You wanted him even more now, if that was even possible. Skin on skin with him buried to the hilt inside of you. Your two bodies connected, that’s what you really wanted.

You were grasping for his belt then, undoing his buckle in a haste. He had grabbed your wrist gently then, ceasing your movements. “Joel, please. I need you, I need all of you.”

“You sure, sugar?” He wanted all of you too, more than ever now but this wouldn’t just be fucking, not like the first time. He knew this would mean a hell of a lot more to both of you.

You sat up then, grabbing his face in your hands gently, stroking your thumbs along the coarse stubble of his beard. Your chest was rising and falling at a quick rate as you were coming down from your near orgasm moments ago.

“Joel, baby. I’m more than sure. I’ve never been more fuckin sure of anything in my entire life.” Your confession knocked into him, your words stealing the air from his lungs.

“I’m yours.” He whispered, bringing his hands to rest along your cheeks then, using his thumb to brush a strand of loose hair behind your ear, his forehead resting against yours. You both were silent as the moment washed over. The realization, the excitement that bubbled between you. The chemistry was palpable, and electric. Suddenly, he was kissing you again, slow, deep, intimately. There was nothing but passion emitting from his lips. While his fingers gently pushed your panties down past your ankles, you worked his jeans down, giggling lightly in between kisses as he struggled to kick them off.

“Damn fuckin things. Always gettin in the fuckin way.” His Texas accent was thick now and when he finally kicked them damned things off, he wasted no time to rid himself of his boxers now as he settled between your thighs, his tip lightly pressing against your slick folds. He grabbed the back of your thighs then, gently yanking you down so you were beneath him. The movement caused the length of his cock to slide up between your slick folds.

You both let out a low hiss from the friction.

His lips hovered above yours as he grabbed the base of his cock, inhaling as he slowly sunk his tip past your folds, sinking into your deep warmth, his eyes flickering to where your bodies connected, watching as he disappeared inside of you completely. Your sweet moans intertwined with his low groans. He dipped his head down, capturing your lips between his as you brought your arms around his broad shoulders, pulling him in as close as physically possible as he thrust his hips slowly, at first. Your nails scraped at his skin then as he quickened his pace, giving one sharp thrust that knocked you back slightly. He detached his lips from yours so he could watch your face, see your mouth fall open, watch your breasts bounce with each sharp thrust.

“Fuck, honey. You feel so fuckin good. God, I'm gonna get drunk off you and this pretty little pussy. You’re killin me, Gwen.”

He grasped your thighs then, bringing them around his hips so he could fuck you at a deeper angle. You immediately caught on, digging the heels of your feet into his ass, bringing him in closer as he continued to fuck you. In his haste, he brought his thumb down between where your bodies were connected. He vigorously started to rub circles against your already sensitive clit, he wanted you to cum before he would even get the chance.

“Joel, i’m close baby, i’m so fuckin close.” You could taste the impending orgasm on your tongue as you moaned out his name.

“I know you are ‘darlin. Doin so good baby. You’re takin me so fuckin well. G’nna get you there alright?” He gruffly spoke, snapping his hips once more before his thrusts started to become uncoordinated and sloppy. He continued rubbing your clit, you were nearly seeing stars as a strangled sob of pleasure wrecked through your body.

“That’s it baby, that’s it. Cum for me honey. C’mon, let go. I’ve got ya, you’re safe.”

One final thrust, and flick of your sensitive bundle of nerves had you falling apart around him. Your thighs were shaking as he held himself at the hilt inside of you. He came undone as quickly as you had. You were chanting his name like a fucking oath and he cut you off with his lips, kissing you sloppily as he groaned out your name, mumbling into your lips about how good you were for him, how fuckin beautiful you were. He rested his sweaty forehead against your shoulder, his eyes were closed as he panted heavily. You brought your hand up into his sweat soaked hair, running your fingers through it as you cradled his head gently. He stayed buried inside of you, even after he had gone soft. Neither of you wanted to be separated from each other just yet.

Once both of your breathing was no longer jagged, and your heart rates turned to normal, Joel had turned his head to look at you, a lazy smile gracing his features. He looked drunk off sex, so did you.

“How was that darlin? Did I do alright?”

You couldn’t help but giggle then. It was such a sweet sound to his ears and he liked that you were holding him so close. Your comfort was appreciated 1000 times over.

“You silly fuckin man, you did more than alright. You were amazin.” You had a soft smile on your lips as well and he couldn’t help but lean in, kissing you sweetly before he pulled away and pecked your nose, causing you to giggle again.

“Mmm, good. Just needa ya to inflate my ego a bit, honey.”

You gave his shoulder a light slap and he chuckled from it.

“You, Joel Miller, can be an insufferable bastard when you wanna be.” Your tone was light and playful as you continued to lightly play with his hair.

“You’re right on the head with that one ‘darlin. You enjoy it though. I’ll keep doin it if it means I get to hear your laugh. You’re adorable.”

“Shut up, I'm still recovering and you’re gonna make me blush!”

“Good.” He spoke lowly with a smirk on his face before he had slowly slipped out of you. He gave you one last kiss before he reached for his boxers and slipped them on, handing you your panties.

“Hang tight, okay honey? Gonna get you a towel, glass of water and a fresh shirt, okay?”

You watched as he stood then, checking out the way his back muscles flexed. God, you were so fucking lucky.

“Goin all gentlemanly on me now, Miller?”

He looked back at you then, grin on his face as he nodded.

“Had to bring that southern charm out on ya eventually honey. You deserve it. Now, you just sit there and look pretty for me.” He winked then and you reached down grabbing his shirt from the floor and chucked it at him. He caught it, no problem. Bastard.

Joel returned to you minutes later, a fresh shirt in hand and a towel. He leaned down then gently wiping between your thighs. He was very attentive as he cleaned you up. You had never had a man take care of you like this before. Sure, you had your fair share of partners in the past, none were like your Joel. Nothing was ever going to compare to him. He had you sit up then as he slid the fresh shirt over your arms, stealing a kiss before he padded off to the kitchen. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself, bringing the collar of his shirt to your nose, it smelled of him. It smelled of home.

He handed you a glass of water then, before he sank down beside you, bringing his arm around you, leaning over and kissed your cheek sweetly as you took a sip of the water, settling against his warm, bare chest.

A comfortable silence washed over both you and Joel as you both recovered from your post-sex activities. A warmth had settled over you and couldn’t help but brush your fingers across his jaw lightly, taking in the way he smiled at you. It was a rare sight for Joel Miller to smile. He saved those moments for you. Tonight, he had given himself entirely to you. He was allowing himself the freedom to feel again. It was hard for him to even try and put into words how you made him feel. The one thing he did know, was that he was forever grateful that you stepped into his life. You brightened it in more ways than you’d ever know.

You had gotten the best sleep in your entire fucking life that night. All thanks to Joel Miller. your fellow, your guy.

Chapter 11 :

[blooming-gwens]

Hi Meg, I hope you are doing well! Your fic is excellent btw, extremely well written, congratulations!!! 💕 You know, thinking about her, I remembered the fact that haunts me to this day, which is how much of a self-sacrificial person Gwen is and how this bleeds into her relationships almost like a love language, and her relationship with death like Gwen becomes more relationship with death as a spider woman, for those she loves. Like, in the collider, she knew those spiders for 3 days at most? And there she was ready to take Peter's place and die on Earth-1610 to make sure he returned safely without even thinking twice. Maybe as a way to save one Peter since she can't save hers and that Earth's (because man we don't talk enough about how she was taken a week before the whole mess exploded and Gwen saw another Peter die!). She would die for the one she loves in a heartbeat and I'm afraid of how that might come across in Beyond. She would die for her friends, for Miles' family. Between saving the multiverse and ensuring that Miles returns safely no matter what the cost, I fear that my theory that she really dies at some point in Beyond (even if she will come back, I'm sure) is becoming more and more real. Because I'm sure that girl can't handle losing anyone else. And Spider-Man dances with death as much as Gwen Stacy.

Ahhhhhh!!!!!!! Listen, I’ve had extensive conversations surrounding Gwen and her altruistic nature. She has fully devoted herself to being Spider-Woman that there comes a point where her own identity without the mask is smothered by all the burdens she carries between losing Peter, being wanted for his murder, and her Dad leading the hunt... That’s uh…that’s a lot for a child to carry all by herself.

After all that, there is no room for herself to exist peacefully, so when she is just Gwen Stacy, she throws herself into school work, the band, but all that comes second to none the moment Spider-Woman is needed. She’s clocked in 25/8 to being the hero she thinks Peter deserved that night. She is fully devoted to serving and protecting…even if it doesn’t clear her name. Because she is good, and she knows she’s good! She just…has to convince others to believe it (baby girl you don’t have to convince anyone) All that to say, I maintain that she was willing to stay behind that night instead of Peter B for two reasons(listed in order of relevance):

One: It was her obligation to protect everyone(specifically Peter B, because despite her claiming she was no longer affected by the notion that PB is an older variant of her Peter, there were still nibbles of clues alluding that she wasn’t as unbothered as she came across. Because Gwen is excellent at masking her feelings and instead conveys them through action).

Two: She may have felt there was nothing worth returning to.

Oof that’s a devastating pill to swallow.

With all my yapping aside, i totally agree with you!! I don’t think it’s far fetched to assume they will carry out Gwen experiencing her canon event, however, I’m hoping they will turn this fall into her true leap of faith. I have had some great talks with @civilizedyawp about this(his hc lives rent free in my head), and he has some interesting predictions that I hope will come true, as it will be a very satisfying execution (bc we are all traumatized by TASM’s Gwen let’s be SO FOR REAL)

When the time comes to save the ones she loves, cares about, and cherishes, her life is the minimum price she is willing to pay. She is a protector at her core (everything she did in Atsv was silverlined with the intention of protecting Miles)Her heart is so, so big, but her self love could be bigger imo. I’m hoping that’s something Miles and Gwen can awaken together as it’s something they both seem to struggle with (something something they are the same something something in the important ways)

Anyways, very excited for the next movie and I’m trying not to have expectations bc I know whatever we get will be phenomenal.

Thank you for your kind words about For Everything! I’m grateful you always wanna come yap with me 💕let’s do it again soon, yeah?