#sheesh I need a therapist

[zhibekfromkaon]

The base below

I would be glad to find out the OG creator of this meme!

[howldean]

finding low-cost mental health resources for queer people is fucking impossible istg

[sadclownfuck]

crazy how absolutely Fucked my mind is rn damn

[holylulusworld]

Every breath you take (12)

Summary: There is a shadow following you. He doesn’t know what he got himself into.

Pairing: Stalker!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Warnings: stalking, being stalked, loneliness, a man out of time, secret admirer trope, longing, abandonment issues, crazy reader

A/N: You all made me do it! Here’s the series to this random idea: Stalker Bucky & Crazy Reader

Catch up here: Every breath you take (11)

Every Breath You Take Masterlist

Friday came and went. All your hopes died because you bought the new dress and dolled yourself up for nothing.

Sadly, Bucky had to cancel your next date. He told you that he must help his friend on what he called a mission.

You understood that some things are more important than a date, but it felt like the world crashed down on you hearing these words come out of Bucky’s mouth.

He didn’t even come around to tell you face-to-face. Bucky called to cancel your date. Since that day, you haven’t heard of him.

It’s been six excruciatingly long days since you last heard of him. No call. No smile. Not even a damn postcard. You’d accepted smoke signals too.

Checking your phone again, you sigh deeply. You left the curtains open and touched yourself for almost an hour, but nothing happened. Your plushies are the only witnesses to your naughtiness.

It’s another Thursday night, and you haven’t heard of your secret admirer yet. He missed your sex date and didn’t send any gifts.

You huff, frustrated. How dare he leave you hanging like that? You had something special, and now you are all alone on your bed, with a slicked vibrator and your plushies as your only company.

“Wait for it,” you curse, and suddenly sit up, slamming your fists into the mattress. “You can’t treat a lady like that, Sir. No way!”

“Did you at least call your date? I hope you know women don’t like it if you don’t show up for a date.” Sam jokes as Bucky is hurriedly running upstairs. Not only to bring Alpine home but to get his phone too.

He had to leave it at home to prevent anyone in his contacts from being in danger if he lost it. Well, he only has you, Sam, and his therapist in his contacts.

“I didn’t have the chance, Sam. I only called her last Friday to tell her I wouldn’t make it to the date.”

“Sheesh, I hope you didn’t lose the girl over this unnecessary mission,” Sam huffs, and runs his hand over his dirty face. He didn’t have a chance to change clothes or take a shower. “I’m sorry for dragging you into this shitshow.”

Bucky swallows thickly. After he planned a future with you, coloring it in the brightest colors, he cannot lose you. “She won’t break up with me over a missed date.”

“Oh, you are going steady already?” Sam cocks a brow. “You didn’t tell me it’s getting serious. I’m going to be your best man, right?”

“I’ll think about it if you never stop me from going on a date with her again,” Bucky grumbles. He can’t wait to check on the footage he recorded over the last few days and to see you.

“Alpine, punk!” Bucky shoos his cat away. He tried to catch up on what he missed, only to find his cat sitting on the remote control. “Shush, I need to hear—”

His heart stops beating for a second when he hears you cry. You tell your plushies that you believe that your secret admirer lost interest and that Bucky canceled your date.

“No, doll,” he sniffles. “Baby…doll…don’t cry.” His features darken when he switches to the livestream. You’re packing a suitcase and three duffle bags, stuffing all your favorite plushies into one bag. “What is she doing?” He pumps up the volume, but he can’t hear anything. “Fuck!”

Alpine hisses because Bucky jumps up. What if he missed something? What if you are going on a vacation or, worse, move out?”

He panics. “Fuck, Alpine, we got to get her today!” Bucky says this and quickly looks around the room, wringing his hands.

There’s nothing worth keeping, but a few things from the past he always kept in an emergency backpack. He walks toward the laptop, grabbing it before he calls for Alpine to jump on his shoulder. The last things he grabs are the plant he bought and the backpack before storming toward the door.

He doesn’t look back. Bucky won’t miss the apartment. This place was never home to him. Maybe no place will ever feel like home again. The apartment was a necessity, nothing else.

Bucky holds his breath. After storing his things in his car and telling Alpine to sit in the passenger seat and not make a fuss, he decided to follow you around town.

You’re currently dragging your suitcase behind you, huffing and muttering because your feet hurt like hell. You had hoped your secret admirer would show up when you walked around town with your suitcase and bags.

“Fuck,” you curse, and stop walking for a second. You look left and right. A noise caught your attention, and you feared someone else, but your secret admirer followed you.

You step backward when the person following you steps out of the shadows. He sighs and shakes his head when you get your phone out to throw at him.

Bucky easily catches your phone and gives you an apologetic smile.

“It’s late, and you shouldn’t walk around in the dark all alone.” His eyes darken when you cross your arms over your chest.

“What?” You huff and give him the stinky eye. “Wait! You didn’t stalk me for a week. Where have you been?”

Bucky gasps. You know he’s your secret admirer, and you don’t seem afraid at all. “What? I…” He can’t fathom that you are mad at him for not stalking you.

“We have a routine, sir. I leave my bedroom curtains open so you can get a glimpse of my cute bottom, and I get off imagining you will break into my apartment to eat my coochie!”

Bucky exclaims loudly. “What the fuck!”

“You can’t change our routine out of the blue. Thursday nights are there for our sex dates, Bucky! How can you just disappear and not even call me?”

“Sex dates?” Bucky starts to sweat. He looks around the deserted street, asking himself if this is the right moment to grab you. Moments ago, he wanted to take you with him, but now he’s unsure. Maybe you’re out of your mind at the moment because he didn’t call you for over a week.

You stare at each other for a moment. Bucky looks unsure and swallows thickly.

“I got the bags with me for a reason,” you say, pointing at the duffle bags slung over your shoulder and the suitcase standing next to you. “Now, chop-chop and kidnap me! I want to see your home!”

Part 13

Tags in reblog.

[nozomi-kaizoku]

FASHION JIRAIS DNI /SRS

The thing that really annoys me about the reyinblack situation is how they're the ones telling us to "get help" even though a lot of us are already doing that and are just using tumblr as a way to find a support group n shit.

Rey has this stupid belief that you should cope the way other people cope, and if you don't you're "glamorizing it and influencing others", and it genuinely baffles me how completely ignorant they are surrounding both the topics of jirai kei and mental health as a whole.

since when has anyone in the jirai community ever encouraged anyone to self harm? The only self harm shit I've seen coming from the jirai community are literally people just talking about their own struggles with self harm.

Tbh, the only thing I don't like about my self harm is that whenever I relapse I have to hide it until it heals so that my family doesn't get pissy at me over it (especially my dad, cause he deadass once told me "self harm is stupid", and honestly, wtf), but that's just me. People got their own reasons why they romanticize their own self harm.

And I am putting the emphasis on the "their own" part, because this douchebag really missed that part and I don't think they'd bother to care anyways.

Also, "just get a diary" THIS IS MY DIARY, JACKWAD. My therapist knows that this blog exists, i literally showed it to her to look at. And I start intensive outpatient therapy next week, so idk what you're on about when you say I should "get help."

Speaking of "getting help", I do agree that if someone needs professional help, they should try to get it as soon as possible. Walk in crisis centers exist (at least in Colorado where I'm from)

But regardless of whatever it's for, when someone does get help, it doesn't mean that all of your problems will go away.

it means that you are learning the skills needed to cope with them so that you don't end up doing some genuinely harmful behaviors like drugs or risky sex.

Sometimes getting help means de-escalating from a crisis so that you don't try to kill yourself or others.

Or it could be to help manage some behavioral issues or trauma that you had to deal with.

People get this stupid misconception that the minute you go to the psych ward for a few days or start talking to a therapist, that all of a sudden you're gonna be this mentally stable and happy person who has no issues whatsoever. I've been dealing with the mental health industry for 5 years and yet I still haven't gotten better, if anything I feel fucking worse tbh.

And to add on to that, not everyone has that same kind of access to help. Sometimes parents don't believe their kids are struggling and refuse to get them help, sometimes financial barriers can make it difficult to afford it, lots of things.

Japan (the place where Jirai Kei originated) has a major issue when it comes down to the stigma surrounding mental health and mental illness, and getting help is completely discouraged there. That's where the Jirai Kei community comes in to help destigmatize mental health (while looking cute as shit).

but the part that's gotta piss me off the most regarding this situation is how rey is so upset that different ways to cope exist to the point they're literally reporting blogs and getting them t worded ALL BECUASE NOBODY AGREES WITH WHAT THEY GOTTA SAY.

Sheesh, and people tell ME I can't take criticism...

Anyway, just wanna say that if you see reyinblack anywhere, please report and block them. DO NOT ENGAGE WITH THEM.

Thank you.

[spokenfromtheheartandsoul]

man oh man is there something about how sand first met ray when ray was arguably showing the worst parts of himself......how despite all of that sand still saw someone worth loving anyway......something about how sand doesn't merely chide/dismiss ray for his faults but instead challenges ray to be better......something about how ray always believed he was a burden, hard to love, hard to put up with.....only for sand to turn up and selflessly care for ray time and time again despite having every reason to walk away......like goddamn no wonder ray broke down on that therapist's couch. imagine coming to terms with the fact that someone has cared for you that much at their own expense when all you've done is fight them at every turn? i mean sheesh. that's painful as hell, i'd be sobbing too

but also then for that to be what makes ray finally decide to get help and to go from "i'm not worthy of that kind of love" to "i want to be worthy of the kind of love that this person is giving me"........brb give me a minute i need to go break down on MY therapist's couch real quick

[salvagesmha]

Ever think that when the Vanguard joined the League of Villains, everyone just had a talk in the bar over their trauma and why they're villains....

And Muscular, who legit is just doing this 'just because', keeps interrupting everyone else with how good his life was and he's utterly oblivious to how insensitive he's being. XD

Like:

Toga: Yeah, my parents hated my Quirk and never really accepted me for it...

Goto: DAMN, sucks to hear that! My family was amazing!! My Dad always hung out with me, Mama got me into fitness, fuckin' love those guys!!!

(Twice is holding Toga back from flinging a knife into his remainng eye)

Spinner: I got sprayed with pesticide and people called me a freak due to my lizard mutation.

Muscular: Sheesh, that bites! Everyone at schooled love these big guns!! I tell ya, I was friends with everyone back in my old neighborhood!!!!

(As he rambles, a depressed Spinner is chugging a bottle up until Kurogiri stops him)

Twice: Yeah, without this suit, I'll go crazy and split apart! No I won't!!! It's...rough. I was also pretty much kicked out of my home back when I was in middle school and left pretty much homeless.

Jailbreaker: Tough break, buddy! Though, can't relate, I was riding an athletic scholarships throughout prety much my entire life and even into uni!!! Hell, they even gave me therapists I could contact whenever! Was pretty sweet.

(Twice just let's go of Toga and Kurogiri needs to warp her back to her room)

[theworldoffostering]

I think I’m dying from the stress of

1. Having my husband back in school as a student

2. Dealing with the back to school season for our kids

Do y’all love back to school? I feel like most of the moms out there are so glad to send their kids back so they have a “break.” School is a HUGE stressor in our house, and I find it so much easier to have our kids at home rather than in school. I also dislike the driving schedule of having them all in school. It’s a lot. I have come to realize that I dread this season, but I haven’t yet figured out how to problem solve it so that it seems easier for my nervous system.

DH is teaching FT this year as a special education teacher for middle school. God bless him. I don’t think I could do it. However, he’s also back in school to get his teaching certification, and it’s the absolute worst. He’s a terrible student. So much ADHD and procrastinating going on. All of the materials for his summer class are due on Saturday and he still has a discussion to respond to and a major paper to write that was due more than a week ago. The teacher and parent in me is dying over the lack of timeliness. Plus, I’m taking on allll of the childcare and household responsibilities while he’s working.

His therapist said he’s super, super depressed and needs to see a new psych. However, DH hasn’t been able to get himself to fill out the paperwork so that he can see the new psych. It’s a never ending bottomless pit (or so it seems).

I am getting my own school things together plus all of the back to school supplies and events on our calendar. Sheesh. It’s so, so much.

The high school had four special ed teachers leave over the summer. I think they only have six or seven total. The elementary school OT just quit last week. Placement for H and E is totally up in the air. We still have next week off so I guess no one is in a hurry to manage any of it. I’ve called the director of special ed three times in the last 1.5 weeks and have yet to have a returned phone call from him.

[writermuses]

Open to: Anyone (Mun/Muse/FC must be 21+) Plot: Your muse has come to the charity open skate with the NHL team Ivy works for and she comes to their rescue when they slip and hit their head. Can be serious or minor, assumed connections welcome. Muse: Ivy Kaplan, 28, is a sports medicine physician and massage therapist for an NHL team. She loves skating and new adventures.

The stadium was full of chatter and holiday music as Ivy donned her medical kit and skated slow loops around the rink, keeping her eyes and ears open. It was a gasp in a crowd ahead that caught her attention and despite her small frame she pushed through only to find a body on their back on the ice. "Sh-sheesh, definitely a sheesh." Ivy looked around at the crowd apologetically, pulling off her bag and immediately putting on gloves. With a glance around she found some of the players, "Everyone can keep skating from the half rink down, just clear it out over here." Gingerly checking the back of their head she immediately winced at the trickle of blood, reaching in her kit and pulling out gauze to apply pressure. If there was ever a good place to get a head injury skating it was definitely an NHL rink. "Hey there, can you open your eyes for me? I know it's bright, but I need you to open your eyes and tell me your name. Okay?" Keeping her voice steady, Ivy hoped some 'real adult' would be skating over soon enough.

[doctorguilty]

Blegh

I used my red cross voucher for a haircut, needed to use it before it expired and I just wanted a trim, clean up the dead ends and such, and make it ready to bleach my roots. I feel like it looks nice, I get in the car with my grandpa after like "yeah I got done really fast she did a nice job :) " and he just stares at me with a smirking expression and then starts driving and I'm like.. "what is that look for? does it look bad...??" And he's like "no it just looks like they didn't take a lot off" ???? It's a very visible 1-2 inches and also I said I was just getting a trim ..? Like sheesh it's not your hair.. I'm never allowed to feel good for 5 seconds I guess, deflates ... at least the hair dresser was nice.. It was her birthday, I tipped her 10 dollars.. I hope someday the good I put into the world will come back to me, not because expectation of reward is what compels me to be generous, certainly not, but because I'm so sad inside, and I went home and immediately laid down in bed to cry, and I just wish.. my life wasn't like that all the time.

I'm so used to being kicked down and not allowed to stay happy, if I ever DO have a streak of good days (lots of time with my partner, convention weekends with my friends, etc) I will inevitably crash somewhere out of the blue and break down, for no real reason, other than what I can only assume (based on the fact this is a known thing with mental illness of many kinds, and my therapists have mentioned it many many times) is because my brain is uncomfortable being happy for too long, it's not used to it, it's scary as though being in an unfamiliar place, and so it will find SOME reason to get out of that place, think I don't deserve to be happy, overthink and get paranoid someone is mad, feel guilty, etc, so I'll be sad again where it feels safe.

And that's why I always say "I'm not able to stay happy for very long" to people, it's hard to really convey this to people who don't understand.. but in any case, it really is awful enough experiencing that, and various things and people in my life contribute to making me sad, reinforcing that status quo, so it doesn't get any easier or more familiar to actually feel happy.

It's awful and terrible. I'm so painfully sad inside and all I can do is try to stuff it down and fight it, but I don't live a life conducive to winning that battle.

[slightly-edgy-and-gay]

This shit was in my drafts for eternity so I am reacting to my old self.. my new answers are in brackets []

😘- it's gay. I'm gay.[No you are bi, idiot]

🐣- I'm a fucking dude so go off. (You have now unlocked war shout "Cisgay get out REEEE")[not funny, but I am still Cis]

🌈- it was a year of trying to watch straight porn to turn myself straight untill I just got tired and went "Fuck this shit I am not trying anymore!".[True]

❌- I came out as bi to my first therapist untill I completely came to the terms with the fact that I don't like pussy. [You like pussy dumbass, you were just trying to fit into a severely restrictive friend group for years]

🔢- three times. To my mom and to two therapists. [This was a lie, I never came out to my therapists, I came out to my Mom and my Brother]

👨👩🧑- no. [Online dated a couple guys, hooked around with a guy while I was out of city for college but nothing really serious, Ever]

👻- I used to go by Abdulkadir untill I was like 10. Now I use my legal name. [This is a fucking lie, Abdulkadir is my middle name but I never used it

❤- no. I don't have a crush. I am too perfect to fit in with anyone! [Ok narcissist sheesh. I have fictional crushes but no real people right now]

🧡- cum fueled dildo.[babe, you wanna call your lovers babe you edgy cum brained idiot]

💛💚- I mean I said I'm a dude. The fuck do you expect? [Ok?... what my old self wanted to say was I present masculine and my gender expression is masculine, that is still true]

💙- I am sorry. I don't have a cuckold fetish. [Not really but I am open to it.]

💜-dessert spoon [little spoon]

☀️- I prefer the term "dimwit". Sinple because more people need to say it. [I prefer queer because it roll off the tongue better than LGBT but I still stick to LGBT in writin]

😄- two bros sucking eachother off is not gay piss off. [Nah, I am not mentally all there so I wouldn't experiment with someone. It would feel like I am taking adventage of them]

😋- I'm sorry I don't want HPV in my asshole. [I did do this and holy ahit it's a bad idea, don't duck strangers, young adults]

✨- Dirk carber. [Wow, a porn star, how original. But to be clear I don't think I have a celebrity crush]

🚻- yellow because I'm a fucking cunt. [I'd say yellow but my favourite color is purple]

🤔- you can just send text messages you fucks! [As long as it is a reason to celebrate I don't see the downside personally]

💋- what the fuck kind of language is this ask in? [Silver. Silver just feels natural to me]

💍- I don't gove two shits as long as I like the dude. [I want to be proposed to because I am too insecure to take the step of proposing to someone]

🌱- winter because I have allergies and autumn is depressing [this is a lie, I do not have allergies. But winter is still my favourite]

🍄-

https://youtu.be/Hyw6kKMjp5A

[1- no, you need friends 2- hugging is way too intimate in my culture so I can't]

🏳️‍🌈- none because I don't wanna be fucking mauled! [I live in a homophobic country so none, but if I could the gay male pride flag]

💞- (author's note: this was blank) [❤️💗]

I like the improvement I showed from like 2-3 years ago. Even a month ago like these answers would be just as aggressive during my last relationship

overlapping identities tag

😘 - Do you have a label for your sexual/romantic attraction? If so, what is it?

🐣 - Do you have a label for your gender? If so, what is it?

🌈 - How long has your questioning process lasted? Is it still happening?

❌ - Have you ever come out as something and found out later that it no longer applies?

🔢 - How many times have you come out?

👨 - Have you ever dated a boy/man?

👩 - Have you ever dated a girl/woman?

🧑 - Have you ever dated a nonbinary person?

👻 - Have you ever changed your name?

❤️ - Do you have a crush? What are their pronouns?

🧡 - If you were dating someone, what would you want them to call you? (ie partner, boyfriend��)

💛 - Would you describe your physical presentation as masculine, feminine, or androgynous?

💚 - Would you describe your gender expression as masculine, feminine, or androgynous?

💙 - Have you ever been in a polyamorous relationship? Would you ever be?

💜 - Are you a big or little spoon?

☀️ - Do you prefer the term “queer” or “LGBT”?

😄 - Would you ever experiment with a friend to help you or them discover yourselves?

😋 - Would you ever experiment with a stranger to help you or them discover yourselves?

✨ - Have you ever had a celebrity crush? Who?

🚻 - If someone asked you pink or blue, what would you say?

🤔 - Thoughts on gender reveal parties?

💋 - Silver, gold, or rose gold?

💍 - Would you like to propose or be proposed to?

🌱 - Spring or autumn?

🍄 - Do you hug your friends?

🏳️‍🌈 - Which pride flag would you fly?

💞 - What heart emojis do you use, if any?

[x-lovely]

Bruhhhh

Super long ass day

I’m almost home though so I can’t wait!

Literally been out since 12 pm

12-6p

On my day off

Rip

I like to be in bed but at least I was super productive. Got blood work done. Sheesh. Went to acme and got some things. I also got some black pants that are super great quality! Thennn I went to the chiropractor and omg he cracked my back sooo good.

He always tells me to drop my head and then he cracks both sides.

After that I spent so long trying to draw my family tree it was insane lmao

My therapist was like this is really good I’m like really??? Cause I had to keep rewriting everything

ANYWAYS BACK IN BED

I really need to poop

I’ll go soon

[1-800-moatinyghase]

[moanbyul-yi]

sigh

[oraclememehacker]

"Is that all you need from them or are you just lying to yourself?" Sheesh, he was feeling like a therapist right now, which wasn't exactly how he envisioned this day to go. Still, even if Ren didn't listen to him and kept on going the way he was going, maybe he could make Ren understand how flawed his logic was at the very least. For now, he just took a sip of his coffee and sighed.

"So you're saying you don't need anyone to lean against and get your frustrations and things you are upset about out? Just because it's supposedly worked for you up to this point doesn't mean that's how it should be. You shouldn't feel ashamed to need help, or just someone to vent to. Everyone needs that, and bottling it up rarely if ever works. I won't force you, but at least acknowledge that you may need more than just people being your friends."

Ren sat in silence for a moment. Of course his relationships were transactional. All relationships were transactions. That was just how the world worked. If he didn't provide something worthwhile to someone, why would they even bother looking at him?

"It is a two way street, though. I get to be their friend. And that's all I need from them. I mean, I've got this far on my own, without any help. Just having friends like this is more than I've ever had. I'm doing just fine as is."

And besides, if Ren did stop hiding, if somehow he could make himself take off all the masks, then what was to say his friends would still like the person underneath? Sure, they would do anything for the Amamiya Ren they know. But the Amamiya Ren they know isn't the one that needed any help in the first place. And there was no guarantee they'd feel that same obligation towards the stranger wearing their friend's face.

[newhologram]

Doc's having trouble finding me a pelvic therapist that does the kind of stuff I need. Do I have to do all this shit myself still? Still up to me to research and make the calls, huh? I'm not getting paid for this shit! I'm over it. I need a drink. Sheesh.