#she's not an asshole
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I wish we had more female characters like Eleanor Shellstrop. One of the most unlikable people you've ever met. Read a Buzzfeed article on most rude things you can do on a daily basis and decided to use that as a list of goals. Makes everyone's day worse just by being there. Dropped a margarita mix on the ground and tried to pick it up, only to get hit by a row of shopping carts which pushed her into the road where she was hit by a boner pill delivery truck, killing her instantly. Cannot keep a romantic partner despite being bisexual. Had a terrible childhood but will die before she gets therapy. Best employee at a scam company. Just the worst but also can't help but root for her to improve.
Absolute loser. Girl-failure. Bad at almost everything. Literally perfect female character.
#eleanor shellstrop#you know i was thinking about how we hold female characters to such high standards#and severely criticize bitchy female characters while praising asshole male characters#and then i remembered eleanor and realized that she is the perfect example of how to write an asshole woman that the audience likes#the worse she is the more i'm drawn to her (and honestly same for tahani)#we need more cringe-fail women who nobody likes (for good reason)#the good place#female characters#writing women#girl failure#girl loser#she's so mean#i love her#my favorite#fucking asshole#iconic#the good place eleanor#tgp#tgp eleanor#kristen bell
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Personally I think that Azula should have been redeemed simply so that she can become Zuko's horrible little advisor who whispers evil little plans to him so that he can do the exact opposite
#the only reason she gets this job is bc he doesnt trust her anywhere else in the palace#its like enrichment for manipulative girls#also so that he can set her on asshole deligates like a rabid little lapdog#she just has mean fuckin pomeranian energy that thing bites then lights you on fire w flames so hot theyre cold#i think their sibling dynamic could be sooo fucking funny its insane#azula#azula atla#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#atla zuko#firelord zuko#DISCLAIMER I AM YET TO READ THE COMICS SO IDK WHAT HAPPENS TO HER IN THEM#also long overdue for a rewatch of the show its insane#fire hazard siblings
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chlonette nation rise up
#silu's art#miraculous ladybug#mlb la terreur au#miraculous ladybug and chat noir#mlb fanart#marinette dupain cheng#chloe bourgeois#chloenette#chloe started powerlifting after she became the bee holder turns out hobbies make you less of an asshole who knew
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playing an evil character but u keep helping ppl anyway
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#bg3#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate 3#i end up saving ppl then just being an asshole ab it#lolthsworn drow things#10k#later addition: i love all of u saying ur doing it for astarion#i romanced lae’zel 🥰❤️#i was gonna do a whole evil thing w my drow but i think she’s accidentally turning good#or at LEAST neutral#decided to focus mostly on the betrayal aspect (encouraging others to turn against something or someone)#and after some choices… well….. she’s starting to wonder if she can betray lolth >:)
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1.04/1.06 I I just gotta know. Where did you come by this fresh body you're wearing?
#Agatha All Along#Agatha Harkness#Billy Maximoff#Billy Kaplan#Alice Wu Gulliver#Marvel#agathaallalongedit#Kathryn Hahn#Joe Locke#this is some really incredible writing#you just think that Agatha is being an asshole when she says this line#but it really has so much more meaning#and proves that she is much more aware of what is going on than she lets on#my edit
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still i think the one of the more fun differences drawn between illario and lucanis that was lost would be illario's ability to endear himself to others but serious lack of empathy, vs. lucanis' (self perceived) inability to be charming but how much he cares. it's interesting that the game has gone with the "lucanis' ability vs illario's lack thereof" because i think illario being the dellamorte 'best in show dog' vs. lucanis' attack dog would have made me so unwell.
lucanis is... awkward. he's not unlikable, because he is usually very polite, but he doesn't speak much and only seems to care about the other dellamortes. he once sent viago de riva a knife with no note (who knows what he could have meant by this). he does what caterina asks of him, and by his own admission, cannot say no to her. he is a dramatic and prolific killer, and that makes how untouchable he is even worse.
and the crows like illario, sure, AND he's a good assassin! he's even a good crow! he's so good that he can make lucanis smile, and so he is the charming, sociable one. he's the one that stays in treviso and can be relied upon to care, illario's even the one people prefer over caterina and lucanis!
but illario is decoration. he's the prize poodle, and even if poodles were bred to be working dogs, nobody will ever pick him to protect the house over the german shepherd that regularly mauls intruders. anyways the analogy is getting away from me. the point i'm trying to make is that i want illario to have a different kind of jealousy/hatred that's not just over 'being bad at killing' but also an arrogant loathing for everyone around him that is getting harder to hide, because they've forgotten he can bite and is just itching to rip someone's jugular out. illario is very good at hiding his family resemblance to caterina, while lucanis suffers under his grandmother's, and his own, reputation.
#not helped that these ideas are probably fostered by caterina. she doesnt WANT lucanis to have FRIENDS she wants him to KILL THINGS lol#and her perceiving illario as someone who wants but wont rise against her would have been interesting#so she allows his charm and friendliness etc. because she wants him to ingratiate the house to other houses#she doesnt want him out the picture. she NEEDS him there to make people like lucanis. illario just isnt content with that#i will shut up about this. i promise.#like i wont. but im trying#lucanis dellamorte#illario dellamorte#and also i want illario to have a little more manipulative asshole going on he's not believable enough in game omg#i think the main issue i have is that lucanis should have . maybe. been a bit less agreeable. SORRY#but it would have been fun to see crow-like defensiveness slowly break away to reveal a caring polite and kind man#or at least a slow understanding of lucanis-language. like he said 'i dont care' but he meant 'i dont mind'#raised by a grieving and also repressed old italian woman will do this to you#thoo. i was pleasantly surprised at how sweet he was in the game to start but i think parallel wise this could have been fun is all#veilguard spoilers#dragon age#and also really sorry that this was brought upon by someone calling him a pursedog man in tags#which was very funny for 5 minutes and then i was like actually i can do something with this
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One last goodbye
#do you ever think about how curly had to watch anya die and can do nothing about it........... yeah me too#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#cw sui implied#anya i love you i wish she had canon last minutes#but jimmy's an asshole who doesn't even acknowledge that
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Prepare for the unexpected. (DPxDC)
Everyone knew about the reign of Pariah Dark. Even those who did not dabble in those realms have heard the tale of the tyrant. A power-hungry man who ruled over the dead with an iron fist.
Following the rise of Pariah Dark, his realm had been effectively cut off from communication. Many mystics and magic users knew better than to open the door of nightmares that could arise if Pariah Dark's reach went further than his own realm.
Except, the universe had plans to bring the realm of the dead back into the cards.
A new opponent, one that had all of Earth's heroes scrambling for options. A being with powers of a god over weather, destruction was on the horizon. A world ending threat.
It's the only reason the Justice League was doing this. In a deep bunker, far from close civilization as a precaution, the heroes looked on with grim expressions.
The world was already being threatened. It would be destroyed regardless of what the league did. So it only made sense to make the last ditch effort. To summon someone strong enough to defeat the threat.
No one wanted to do it. No one wanted to be the one to pull the realm of the dead back to the living. The consequences were untold if this succeeded. If Pariah Dark was freed and defeated the threat, whose to say he won't want control?
That was a problem for later. For the aftermath. For now, the league could only watch on with bated breath as Constantine completely the summon ritual.
They watched on as the shadows in the room seemed to darken and grow. As the sigil sputtered to life with a glow that was growing increasingly brighter. A sudden gust of wind rushed through the room, the temperature began to drop with eaching ticking second.
And then it was all gone.
The room stood perfectly still. Just as it had been moments before. Nothing changed. No giant king standing before them, no sign that the ritual worked.
The room stood deadly still for another beat before the murmurs started. The team trying to make sense of the situation, figure out what went wrong.
Constantine swore up and down that this was the correct ritual, taking offense that they would even think the problem was on his end. It only made it better when it finally happened.
A loud sound ripped through the room, pulling everyone's attention back to the summoning circle. Just in time to see a tear appear in the space above the circle.
A thin tear that ran the length of eight feet. The fabric of the dimension seems to curl at the edges, pulling back to reveal a deep glowing swirl of greens. A dark gloved hand reached through, fingers curling around the edge of the tear, stretching it even further.
A portal. The ritual had worked, but there had been a delay. A delay that had every hero nerves on edge. Each team member tensed, weapons at the ready as they watched the being stretch the portal to the right size.
Then, a foot stepped out with a heavy thud. A dark boot that looked otherworldly despite its similarity to mortal clothing. A deep black that seemed never-ending. A second foot quickly followed before a full body emerged from the portal.
Not many people in the room have ever seen Pariah Dark, let alone know what to expect. Based on what Constantine and Zatara had said, this wasn't Pariah Dark.
A man had stepped out of the portal, standing at almost seven feet tall, and built like a brick house. One glance at the glowing white hair, deadly red eyes, and shard teeth was enough to know this being was not to be messed with.
But there was no giant show of armor or royal garbs. There is no large crown at the top of his head or jewelry from the infinite realms laced around his neck.
Instead, the man stood before them in combat boots, worn-in ripped jeans, a graphic t-shirt, and a spiked leather jacket. Despite his almost normal clothing choice, the man's jacket seemed to be a never-ending depth of the dark night sky. If one was to look closely enough, the cosmos could almost be made out in the sea of darkness.
None of that would have prepared them for when the man spoke. His tone sounded more bored than anything as he took a step forward.
"Oh, so now you need the help of the dead." The man had spoken, running a hand through his hair. When Batman took a step forward to speak, the man raised a hand. Immediately commanding silence in the single gesture. "I'm on babysitting duty and have yet to have a cup of coffee. I'll be right back."
Just like that, both the man and portal vanished into thin air. Leaving behind a group of stunned heroes. Not only was the man not Pariah Dark, but he was also supposedly babysitting.
"Did that just-"
The Flash had been the first voice to speak up, his eyes trained on where the man had once stood. Except he had barely made it through the first few words before the man was suddenly back.
The man that now had a child hanging off his shoulders and another teen being held up by his scruff. Unlike the man, these kids looked human.
Too human for Bruce's liking. The dark black hair and bright blue eyes had every heroes eyes flickering to Batman for just the briefest moment.
"This isn't fair! I'm not even the king. Why do I have to be here!" The teenager had been complaining the moment the man had reappeared. Arms crossed tight over his chest and seemingly used to being held dangling. "Besides, who brings kids to a show down! Wait til I tell mom about this."
"Aw, come on, Danny. This is gonna be fun!!" The younger girl seemed in much better spirits than the teen, Danny. She had climbed up the large man, sitting on his shoulders and resting her arms on the mess of glowing hair. "It's like take your kids to work day! Ooo, Dan! Can we fight too!?"
Unlike the two kids, the man looked purely exhausted and annoyed. The man, Dan, dropped Danny like a sack of potatoes as he took a long drink from the travel cup in his hand.
It didn't take a genius to recognize the look of an exhausted parent in Dan's expression. A look many of the league members were well acquainted to. A look that even had Batman grimacing with sympathy.
"Can it, little shits. You two were grounded, remember." Dan had growled at the kids before shifting his focus back on the team of heroes before them. His glowing eyes set in a deadly glare. "Pariah Dark isn't coming, and he never will. He's been dethroned and banished. We're the best you've got."
A summoning that started with a group of on edge and scared heroes looking for the ghost king, ended in a way no one expected.
No one was even sure if it made any sense. They weren't sure if they should feel hopeful or in despair.
Because truly, what was a ghostly man with two seemingly human children against a godlike foe with the control over the weather?
The unspoken question of power and ability seemed to vanish following Dan downing the metal travel cup of coffee, and crushing it in his fist.
He tossed it to the side, straighting up his posture as he looked over the heroes. Dan might not be a hero, but he's been playing family for too long.
An almost feral, bloodhungry grin spread across the man's face, sharp fangs on full display. The look made the man suddenly look even less human. He looked closer to a demon from the pits of hell rather than the exhausted parent he looked just a few seconds ago.
"Point me in the direction of this bastard. It's been too long since I let loose and had some fun."
#danny phantom#danny fenton#phandom#dc x dp#batman#dcxdp#dp x dc#dp x dc au#dp x dc crossover#justice league#I've been toying with the idea of following Pariah Dark's end the zone abolished the idea of a one true king#instead setting up a counsel of the most trusted ghosts and deities with in the zone; including Pandora and Clockwork#I also like to vote for Technus to be on the counsel and Ghostwriter to be like the secretary/note taker#after Ghostwriter stopped being an asshole ofc ofc#I kinda have this list of specific details I've created for this idea and like I keep thinking up new ones#like the Phamily's backstory is somewhat canon complaint with the show but also a whole mess of complex shit#like the expanse of Danny turning into phantom and the events that occurred still did except technically they never did#it's clockwork's time mumbo jumbo type of shit#Ellie had to be deaged some to help stabilize her core so I'm roughly saying she's like 7-8 years old#but idk children so idk how a 7-8 year old actually looks or how they usually act or talk#The JL seriously don't know if they should be hopeful or not but Dan's grin and excitement makes it seem more promising#I like to imagine Bruce is just watching Dan with Ellie and Danny trying to figure out if he's actually a good father or not#people being surprised to find out that Ellie Danny and Dan are all technically orphaned siblings#while Dan is just trying to coparent his siblings with the help of a time god an earth goddess a princess and a dirtbag with a motorcycle#dan phantom#ellie phantom#I can go on and on so I'll force myself to stop now#long post
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given cass's canonical love of reality tv, I am absolutely certain that every year babs has to go into cbs's recruitment email and delete her survivor audition video
#cass watching people pass out from malnutrition and heat stroke while doing endurance challenges: skill issue#she'd way less good at the social side of things in that a lot of people would hate her for being an asshole#but also she'd always know when they're lying to her and also be 30x smarter than they've underestimated her to be#also I think she'd be good at finding immunity idols#honestly I think people would want her in their alliances for her inability to lose at challenges in the first half of the game#and then be utterly blindsided by how sneaky and clever she is in the back half#and she'd literally always have immunity so like#cassandra cain#this deserves to be in the tag I'm RIGHT#if you saw that I said the cw in the first version of this post no I didn't
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defending megan isn't enough i need a gun
#i just don't understand why can't people leave her alone. she's so strong & has been through hell & back yet they keep trying to harm her in#new ways let her fucking live leave her alone assholes#megan thee stallion
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makes me giggle to think of X2 Logan meeting dp&w Logan when this is a thing
#“don't tell me you fuckin liked it 🤨” “you have no idea 😃”#x2 logan is going to see that in the tva screens and go 🤨😳🏳️🌈⁉️#dp&w Logan going “you don't understand he's fucked up he's my favorite of these assholes”#and then turn around and yell at wade “FUCKTARD”#hear the distinct “oh he's adorable can't resist flirting with me across the room LOVE YOU TOO SHITFACE”#“KEEP AN EYE ON OUR DAUGHTER OR IT'S MY SWORDS IN YOUR DELICIOUS ABS IN THREE SECONDS”#x2 Logan going 🤨 at the daughter in question mary puppins#Logan being as hung up on Jean as he'd been might just Reconsider mr wade wilson#👀👀👀👀👀👀👀#pspsps Logan#one rainbow brigade bitch to another? i dont think jean can do that#she clawed u up that one time but see what walmart santa claus is doing here#he's riddling you with bullets ✅ fuckin emptying the cartridges on your scrumdiddlydumptruck ass#he's stabbing adamantium ADAMANTIUM swords in you up until the sword hilts ✅#Logan listen#jean needed to be with phoenix first before Doing All Those Things Which She Did With You#but Deadpool? Deadpool is in it for the shits and giggles#Look. I'm not a woman of science. But there seems to be Chemistry among us.#I'd hit the emergency meeting button but i don't fucking want to 😁#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool 3#deadpool 2024#logan howlett#wade wilson#poolverine#deadclaws#Deadpool and Wolverine Honda#Deadpool and Wolverine Honda Odyssey
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Danny was forced to Reincarnate
So! One day, Dr Fate was doing a routine check on the Barriers between the many Dimensions that brushed up against his Universe, when he found an Anomaly.
Somewhere in the United States, Illinois if the spell was accurate, there was a Sustained and Stable opening into the Infinite Realms. Which was impossible. The Infinite Realms was Chaos Incarnate, the birthplace of God's and Monsters like the Lords or Chaos or the Ancients. Openings to the Realms were never supposed to exist for more than moments at a time, if not less than that.
So of course he immediately went to investigate it.
What he found shocked him.
Not only was there a stable Portal to the Infinite Realms created by Scientists of all things, but Realms Spirits have been regularly attacking the small town it was located in without his, nor anyone else's knowledge, for Years. Thankfully it seemed like one of the Realms Spirits objected to their attacks on the Mortal Plane and was defending it, but that was a problem in and of itself.
He quickly took off to rectifying the situation.
He approached the Protector Spirit and proposed an alliance, helped him chase down any loose Spirits still wandering the Mortal Plane, and then with his help Dr Fate closed the Portal for good. The Protector Spirit helped destroy all knowledge of how to contruct the Portal from the Scientists Servers (he was never good with technology) and Dr Fate used a few memory spells to wipe the knowledge from their minds.
The Protector Spirit then thanked him for his help, but Dr Fate told him that there was still one problem that needed rectifying.
He quickly summoned a Spell to immobilize the Spirit, and began the Ritual he had been preparing since the moment they had met. He was never planning to allow the Realms Being to wander free after his work was finished. Good Hearted as he may be, Realms Spirits were still too dangerous to let freely roam a world of Humans. He was never going to be allowed to leave once this was over.
Still, he had helped Dr Fate in his endeavors. For that, he had earned a more merciful fate than the others had. Rather than banish the Spirit to the endless void as he had the others, he instead cast a ritual to allow him to Pass on and find peace.
With his work done, Dr Fate left the small town and went back to his Tower.
...
Unfortunately for Dr Fate, he didn't know a few things about that particular Spirit. He didn't know that it was a Halfa, and was thus still partially Human. He did not know that it was still a Child by Ghost Standards, and that his Core was not yet matured as it should have. And he did not know that this particular Ghost was favored by an entity that governed all of Time. One that had a rather petty vindictive streak.
Because he wasn't the type of Spirit the spell was intended for, the Protector Spirit (Danny if case you hadn't caught on) was thrown into an entirely different type of Afterlife. The Cycle of Reincarnation.
Clockwork, angered that his friend had been betrayed so calously, helped his soul pass more easily through the cycle of Reincarnation. He wouldn't keep his memories or powers (at least not at first), but there would be echoes of who they used to be.
Which is how Danny Phantom, the little known Ghost Hunting Hero, was reborn into their new life as Zatanna Zatara, the well known Magician Hero.
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dcxdp#Dc x dp#Danny Phantom#Dc#Dcu#Danny is Zatanna#Danny is reincarnated as Zatanna#Dr Fate is an Asshole#Dr Fate betrayed Danny because he didn't want a chaotic being like a Realms Spirit in the Mortal World#But he fucked up the spell to let Danny peacefully pass on and instead threw him into a different type of Afterlife#Zatanna knows she had a past life (most people do) but she never thought to investigate it#Her dad told her that sometimes people went mad from the knowledge of their past lives#So she avoided it#But then she met a Realms Spirit who told her she had a “familiar soul”#And it was a pretty important Realms Spirit#One of the Ancients#Why the hell does one of the Ancients know her Soul enough to call it familiar?!#Who was she!?
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The way Orv will dangle the basic premise in front of you like a set of keys and have you going "Ha! So Joonghyuk is the novel's protagonist but Dokja is OUR main character." and you're so busy enjoying that layer of meta text that you don't notice their other hand winding up the Han Sooyoung hammer to whack you with.
#Orv#Orv rambles#It's so good it's so funny#She doesn't exist for the first like 30 chapters. And she writes the whole thing#It's a love letter from her to Dokja using Joonghyuk#And yet it all unfolds so slowly she's just a little guy. A little fella. A ruthless little asshole.#And then boom surprise she is the past the present and the future the reason this story exists#The reason Dokja is alive the reason Yoo Joonghyuk was created#Dokja's life starts being born in normal reality. Yjh's life begins when HSY writes him#HSY created herself. She's the chicken and egg a perfect loop with no end point#She IS the story in every sense
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ACOSF, except that Nesta refuses to move to the House of Wind and packs her bags to leave to the "human lands", but instead of actually going there, she stops at the Spring Court and kinda forces Tamlin to take her in. After all, Spring is close enough to the human lands and she's sure none of the IC would look for her Spring.
She and Tamlin clash at first, but then Nesta tells him that Feyre wanted to lock her in the House of Wind for "her own good" and Tamlin has to take a walk outside the house to not break anything because what the fuck? Those people haven't forgiven him for locking Feyre up to protect her and make him miserable because of it, but suddenly it's okay when they do it? Unbelievable.
They drink together and bond over the Night Court's hypocrisy, how they were treated by them, and Feyre. They start living together. Tamlin plays the music and Nesta dances to it. They spend time in silence in his library or taking relaxing strolls around the garden. Nesta does more healing there that she could've done in the House of Wind. Eventually, she and Tamlin become good friends.
Oh, and she meets Eris again and they actually get to know each other outside the Night Court's machinations. They have a slowburn romance and get married eventually, turning Nesta into the High Lady of Autumn. She helps Tamlin rebuild his court and strikes an alliance between both courts, and she thrives with positive relationships and a man that genuinely loves her and doesn't try to change her.
Also Lucien makes up with Tamlin and returns to Spring, adding him to Nesta's friendship circle.
#she breaks her bond with cassian btw#making her the first female to do it willingly and survive#cassian survives too#because even though i don't see him deserving of nesta i don't hate him enough to let him die#he's just there#in the night court with his precious ic and sucking up rhysand#like he's meant to be#and nesta is having her best life away from those toxic assholes#neris#eris vanserra#nesta archeron#tamlin#lucien vanserra#acotar au#pro nesta archeron#anti nessian#pro tamlin#acotar#acosf
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I think if MBJ was a hamster owner, he would initially get one of those terrible and small cages because he didn't know any better, and the hamster seemed to do fine so he didnt bother to change it. Until one day, he came home, and the hamster was gone, and there was a hole in the cage. He frantic searches for it, had a mental breakdown, and when he finally finds his hamster, he would change everything to make the hamster content. Bigger cage, better wheel, more variety of food, higher salary, treasures, comfy coats...
What was I talking about again? Oh yeah. Hamsters. This post is about hamsters and only hamsters...
#svsss#shang qinghua#mobei jun#moshang#shang qinghua deserves love#hamhua#i miss my old hamster#she was an asshole tho
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imago's here i can post their meme now
#my art#feralnette au#blasphemous box#kwami oc#imago#my horrible daughter with every complex in the world has arrived. clap or ill blow up this whole building#imago is he/she/they/it btw. stole every pronoun like an asshole
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