#she's growing up TOO MUCH HELP
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Happy Nameday, Rosie!! 🌹
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The Helena diaz of it all has me fascinated. I’ve said for a long while that Eddie’s real issues are his mommy issues and this episode just cemented for me that we’re gonna explore that and deal with it.
Because it’s Helena who forced Eddie to grow up to fast - because her husband wasn’t around much - so she pushed Eddie into de facto parent and husband role ls - selfishly filling her needs and ignoring the damage it was doing to her son (it is a form of abuse in my book).
Eddie then had the audacity to fall in love with and marry Shannon and get her pregnant. It’s why Helena was always so off with Shannon - she was punishing her. She is also punishing Eddie for all of this and his refusal to return to El Paso only cemented further her bitterness and resentment.
Now she does have Ramon back she doesn’t need Eddie any longer to fill that role so she is still punishing him and part of that is tied into her glee over now getting to parent Christopher - something she has always been intent on doing the doppelgänger just gave her the opportunity- as well as allowing her to further punish her son and his love of Shannon.
Her barbed comments about building a pool were all about showing what she can provide Christopher - how she is parenting him better than Eddie - it’s part of her mind games - making Eddie feel like more of a failure as a parent to his son.
The reality of course is that the reverse is true - Helena’s parenting is all superficial, flash and showy - it isn’t the hard day to day parenting when things get tough and you have to be the bad guy. While Eddie has made mistakes, there is nothing superficial, flash, or showy about his parenting. It’s why bucks comments about Eddie being a great dad are so important.
Eddie feel like a failure right now and that he is entirely to blame for everything. But in reality, while he does bear a bit of the responsibility, the truth of the matter is that he needs to learn and deal with the fact that all of it actually stems from Helena and her abuse of her young son - Shannon never stood a chance just like Eddie never has.
#genuinely don’t see how she can get any sort of redemption arc#but this is 911 so maybe they’ll find a way 🤷🏻♀️#Helena’s treatment of Eddie is a form of child abuse - it has done so much damage to him psychologically#I do really hope we finally get to meet Sophia and adriana as part of this arc beciase I think it might be very revealing#I am also wondering if Ramon had a stache in the past - and that is what Eddie is subconsciously trying to mimic#and that is about him trying to regain his mothers affection - trying to fill that husband role she forced him into#and that shaving it off is a part of his dealing with that and choosing to free himself from her clutches#and in doing that - standing up for himself etc - it will be the trigger that v ring schristopher back#the catholic guilt and Eddie’s queerness is also all tied up in this - the church reinforces and condones Helena and her actions#the Catholic Church has a long history of abuse of children in all it’s horrendous forms#so Eddie seeking solace in that direction think it will help him find away back to Helena’s good books only for it to open a few doors he#has bolted shut#as for the queer aspect - forcing Eddie to grow up too fast and fill this role of husband to his mother and parent to his siblings means#Eddie never got the chance to learn who he actually is - to explore his sexuality and all that goes with that - at the age one normally#would - as a teenager and into your 20’s. it explains so much around his relationship with Shannon and dealing with the helana of it all#and the queerness of his identity - will also allow him to actually let Shannon go#Eddie’s arc is going to be incredible - heartbreaking and gut wrenching - but incredible#Helena diaz it’s on sight - she is evil and cannot be redeemed in my eyes!#911 spoilers#Thinky thoughts#eddie diaz#911 abc
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okay but going back to zagreus and melinoë for a second... i think when they meet they're going to have a LOT to work on with each other if they're going to get along. zagreus likes to push boundaries and he doesn't like leaving things unresolved if there's something he can do about it and melinoë is a LOT like hades in so many ways (temperment and sometimes her tone in particular). they're going to get on each others' nerves. they're going to drive each other up the wall. they're going to need time to get to know each other and understand each other and they might not get the chance to during hades 2 (what with mel's task seeming pretty nonstop. i know she's a goddess but girl don't you get tired???).
#hades 2#hades 2 spoilers#there's a lot that zag can pick up about mel from around the crossroads tbf just by talking to other people#especially hecate odysseus and nemesis#and dora too. although dora would just give zagreus the information he wants for free. without even asking#there are some things i can see them getting along about and they might be really excited at first#but at the same time zag spent a lot of time and effort trying to fix his relationship with hades and hades' relationship with persephone#and the olympians. he pretty much made it so melinoë CAN exist. and he probably feels some sort of responsibility for her#as her big brother and just. that's the way he is about the people he loves too#i think that when he meets melinoë he's going to be. upset#moreso than hades was upset. not only because he didn't get to see her grow up#but also because this is worse than the worst case scenario#to him at least. he would want to protect her but mel is her own person. she's grown and she's learned how to rely on herself#(to the point of it being a detriment lmao)#and she would Not vibe with that at all.#and yeah mel has some of persephone in there as well (she has her kindness and drive to help others) but iirc that's more. recent?#idk hecate had something to say about that i just forgot what she said
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maybe if i just put these screenshots together youll understand why i think their relationship just Works so well as it pertains to the characters and themes of S4 in general
neither of them know what theyre doing, but theyre figuring it out Together. the old ways are dead. and together theyll build a new future thats worth fighting for
#twdg#violentine#clems “i dont know” paired with violets “lets figure it out together”. screaming crying throwing up#clem never knew what she was doing!! she was just trying her best!! and now shes tired as SHIT!!! she wants a break 😭!!!#vi helps take that weight off by supporting her as much as she does (which is A LOT!! and clem supports her in return. they grow together)#that bit in the woods where instead of getting grossed out by the guts vi crouches down to ajs level and keeps the situation calm#and she looks up to clem and gives her a little smile. and clem just relaxes and smiles back !! DO YOU UNDERSTAND !!!#clem being anxious about her reaction. violet putting her at ease. clem getting to Relax for 2 seconds. they help each other CHILL 😭#ALSO why their walk home talking about ericson and renaming it and imagining what they could add to it is just so good narratively#they turned that prison into their HOME!! a place worth fighting for!!!#tenn wanting to help rebuild. vi saying Everyone will :') its a home for ALL OF THEM 😭 its about the COMMUNITY !!!#this is also why i think the friends route still works but theres just even more Juice with the romance. even ignoring minnie#violets “you better not disappear on me”. friended clems “ok” to romanced clems “i promise”#in a season about building a home and a family that second one just hits harder you know? and like above with the learning to dance#i just feel like their romantic relationship specifically fits into the overall themes of the game the strongest and elevates it#me talking at the wall (tumblr drafts)#all of my friends who have played twdg are too normie so i gotta make posts like this instead. or i'll die#wont somebody analyze narrative with me#it speaks
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I hate when Chakotay is watered down to be Janeway's yes man because their disagreements are actually very interesting. [A lot of rambling analysis of this debate in particular below]
Chakotay in Parallax is very interesting in that he has to navigate a lot of different dynamics. Balance a lot of plates while being watched keenly by everyone around him. Immediately preceding this scene we see him ask B'Elanna for her opinion on the bridge - both as a chance to show her knowledge in his bid to make her chief engineer (because she wouldn't get a chance to otherwise as Janeway has clearly indicated that at this point she views B'Elanna as a troublemaker who won't be considered for the position) and because he just thinks she's a better engineer than Carey and wants the best possible chance of them succeeding. Janeway sees this as unacceptable. Carey is the chief engineer and so he should be called and Chakotay NOT asking for his opinion is an insult to Carey, Janeway, and might make the crew doubt Chakotay (and by extension the Maquis') loyalty to the Starfleet crew.
At this point it seems that to Janeway integration ["They're not your people"] means the path of least resistance, specifically tailored towards the Starfleet crew. She wants Chakotay by her side to keep the Maquis crew calm but also seems unwilling to consider them for important positions aboard the ship. Though she says that the Maquis are not Chakotay's people, not his crew, she certainly doesn't seem to consider them hers [Compare this to later instances where she stresses 'our' crew, here she simply says they aren't Chakotay's: Whose crew are they? Are they crew at all?]. This less leaves the impression of "We need to be a cohesive team" and more "You're not in charge here." She essentially accuses Chakotay of playing favorites. In her mind Chakotay's actions are not conducive to integrating the crews which would (again, in her mind) mean the Maquis being docile and accepting, obedient and content - not making trouble for the Starfleet crew. Chakotay counters Janeway's accusation with one of his own: That he IS trying to integrate them into the crew but her not allowing the Maquis any opportunity to prove themselves or succeed, not showing any trust in any of them (except, implicitly at this point, him) is making things difficult. At this point the Maquis crew are ready to mutiny on his word at any time. He knows this for a fact. Aside from that looming threat (the threat being that tensions are high and if nothing changes and they remain high there might be a mutiny even without his word) - Chakotay knows these people and trusts them. Though Starfleet and Janeway think of the Maquis as a violent bunch of criminal terrorists, Chakotay and a good number of the Maquis joined because they believed in the cause they were fighting for. These are people Chakotay knows WILL fight fiercely for what they believe in and conversely, AGAINST what they perceive as injustice. Even if they're not in the majority - they're used to picking fights which seem impossible to win. At this point Janeway admits that she ISN'T making it easy for Chakotay to integrate the Maquis - specifically talking about practical concerns; how she doesn't feel she can let Maquis crew have roles of importance on the ship because they lack the ability to hold them. "They don't have the discipline, they don't have the training," - asserting that they just aren't prepared for any such roles and it doesn't have to do with them being Maquis specifically. Ostensibly, she's treating them as she might treat anyone unqualified for the job.
Chakotay maintains that some of them, like B'Elanna, have the ability to be trained - challenging her point by saying that IF they're trained there's no reason for any Maquis member NOT to be given a more prominent role on the ship. He isn't suggesting they just unqualified people important jobs. If the problem is that they aren't trained, let's train them. These people have the ability to succeed if you give them the tools they need and a fair chance, he insists. Janeway then switches gears and her argument becomes not "The Maquis are untrained so they can't be given those jobs" but "The Maquis crew are unworthy of those jobs when compared to Starfleet personnel" saying that it'll cause insult and upset among the Starfleet crew if any member of the Maquis were to be promoted above them. Again, her idea of integration is based more on Maquis subservience to the Starfleet crew than it is the two crews working together. (Not that I believe she looks at it that way, it's just where her 'path of least resistance' leads) - though she accuses Chakotay of being too focused on "his" crew, she is admitting here that she believes her real crew are the Starfleet officers aboard, not the Maquis. She also admits here that the system she wishes to maintain (and is asking Chakotay to enforce) is one where there will ostensibly never be any chance of a Maquis crew member being promoted because no Maquis crew member will ever be more qualified, more worthy, than a member of Starfleet. We can see how it'd be difficult for Chakotay to convince his crew to remain calm under these circumstances. There's also Tuvok's behavior toward him at the beginning of the episode where the Vulcan nearly goes over Chakotay's head and when he doesn't do so (as Chakotay reminds him that HE'S the superior officer, the First Officer in fact,) Tuvok acts as if him backing down (partially) and conceding (partially) to Chakotay's authority is a favor to Chakotay.
Tuvok in this conversation is downright insubordinate to Chakotay. Despite Chakotay being the first officer, he doesn't take what he says seriously, argues that his own opinion on what should be done should be followed rather than Chakotay's, lectures the first officer about his conduct, and then almost seems to threaten him with a report. In Starfleet's rigidly hierarchical rules, acting like this to a superior officer (ESPECIALLY the first officer) wouldn't be tolerated and Tuvok knows this perfectly well. He isn't a rebellious character and clearly in other episodes adheres to these Starfleet hierarchies and codes of conduct very strictly. He values them highly. But Chakotay, a Maquis, shouldn't be First Officer. Why should he be given respect for a title he didn't earn? [Affirming Janeway's argument about how Starfleet officers won't be eager to follow a Maquis senior officer] Even though Chakotay tells Tuvok off for it ["I don't have to explain myself to you"] he doesn't threaten to put Tuvok on report or explicitly mention his insubordination. It's unclear if this is Chakotay's personality or if he just doesn't feel he CAN do that. Tuvok is one of the three most senior officers aboard and very close to Janeway. Chakotay has to think of the optics of any situation at all times - we see seconds after this conversation that rumors have already started swirling around B'Elanna being relegated to quarters that've fanned the flames of mutiny. Though we know Tuvok has personal reasons for behaving the way he does toward Chakotay (which he later admits), I really don't think it'd be out of the ordinary for this to be how most Starfleet personnel would treat the Maquis if they weren't outright hostile: Like they're only pretend crewmen. To a lesser extent we even see this with Janeway: In the following staff meeting, she clearly doesn't consider B'Elanna a viable option when Chakotay brings her up and almost ignores the suggestion entirely.
It also, again, leaves Chakotay in an impossible position. If he doesn't protect and fight for the Maquis crew, they won't ever be considered a true part of the crew and dissatisfaction will likely spread among them. Dissatisfaction which the Starfleet crew will then use to further label the Maquis as insubordinate, uncontrollable, unfit. Not to mention that if he doesn't advocate for them, he might lose their trust. However, if he DOES try to help the Maquis crew advance the Starfleet crew will view this as 'favoritism' and will further distrust him, won't respect the people he puts forth as worthy. Janeway seems to be intent on not advocating for any of the Maquis crew and also seems unwilling to ask that the Starfleet crew grant leniency. She implies that the Maquis crew need to learn to get in line and keep quiet and it seems almost like [we must remember the optics] she has Chakotay as the only Maquis in a position of power to facilitate that. Chakotay recognizes and pushes against that, saying that he won't just be her token Maquis - there only so she can point to him and say "See? We don't discriminate against the Maquis here." effectively a tool used to shut down any arguments of unfair treatment and a tool to quell the Maquis if any talk of mutiny DOES arise. In this model, Janeway can just tell Chakotay to calm them down and they'll listen because they trust him. She also doesn't have to really listen to anything he says: A token First Officer has no authority; his words don't hold weight. [Chakotay isn't Maquis anymore, they aren't his crew anymore - ok. What is he then? What are they? Nothing, without respect.] This plan seems untenable, as much as Janeway frames it as sensible: "I can't make it easy, Commander. Surely you can understand that," and alternatives as impossible "How am I supposed to ask them to accept a Maquis as their superior officer just because circumstances have forced us together?" - in the long run, how would this be sustainable? In any power structure, you cannot expect a group of people you're unwilling to grant trust or agency to obediently follow you forever. This proposed form of 'integration' in which the Maquis are kept on the bottom rung and told intermittently to stay there quietly by the only one of them granted permission to stand at the top would never be sustainable - especially with a group like the Maquis who again, were founded on the belief that its members should fight against inequity and are already on the verge of mutiny.
I specifically find the statement "How am I supposed to ask them to accept a Maquis as their superior officer just because circumstances have forced us together?" to be interesting because personally I'd say that being forced together for the rest of almost everyone's natural life is a pretty good reason to ask people to adapt and Janeway does understand this but only applies it to the Maquis - the Maquis are the ones who have to adapt, not Starfleet. The only thing the Starfleet crew have to do is tolerate their presence on board.
At this point Janeway again claims that if Chakotay can show her a 'qualified' Maquis candidate she'll consider them. I believe this is true but we already know that Janeway's standards for qualification will likely not fit the vast majority of the Maquis and Chakotay ignores the claim in favor of putting forth B'Elanna again, firmly. Janeway predictably dismisses her as unqualified and Chakotay disagrees, arguing that he knows her. He's worked with her. He KNOWS that B'Elanna can excel at the job even if she doesn't meet Starfleet/Janeway's qualifications. He doesn't value those qualifications over what he's observed about her - just as he didn't value Carey's title over what he knew about the gap between his and B'Elanna's abilities. Then, Chakotay switches gears. He admits that Janeway's right - he does view the Maquis as his crew but that's because Janeway (almost self admittingly) doesn't and if he doesn't, who will they have? [What kind of captain, kind of man, would he be?] "You're going to have to give them more authority if you want their loyalty." "Theirs or yours, Commander?" Janeway frames Chakotay's words pointing out the flaws in this plan which I outlined earlier, as almost a threat (if she doesn't have Chakotay's loyalty it'll most definitely mean mutiny). Chakotay asserts that it wasn't a threat, he's only trying to help by telling her how the Maquis crew will react to what she's telling him. "I'm sorry you can't see that" - not an apology for what he said but that she isn't willing to budge, not willing to listen to him and acknowledge that she might be as biased towards her crew as he is towards his. Chakotay is trying his best to acclimate his crew but if Janeway isn't willing to do the same, to talk to her people as he's talking to his, then this will not end well and that isn't a threat. It's just the reality of the situation. He then asks permission to leave, showing he is willing to observe Starfleet protocol (just as when he asked permission to speak freely), and Janeway lets him go, exhaling at the intensity of their debate when alone in her ready room.
#J/C is not interesting to me when they're strifelessly playing house or Chakotay is her lovesick yesman who'll do whatever she says#Kathryn Janeway#Chakotay#I really wish they'd kept up this kind of tension between the crews and used Tuvok/Janeway/Tuvok as like a microcosm of that tension#it'd be so good!!#Tuvok#<- he's there too#chara analysis#star trek voyager#st voy#Is this the only episode they call the ship 'The Voyager' ??#Also hearing Harry call Tom 'Mr Paris' is funny - early seasons voyager you have my heart early seasons voy supremacy#ANYWAY - that's beside the point#I do like how the maquis v starfleet tension is handled in this episode#I love how we see everyone start working together and relationships begin to form#How once B'Elanna shows her stuff Janeway is almost immediately intrigued and excited & how B'Elanna feeds off that excitement#The Doctor: -annoyed annoyed complaining complaining snarky comment- ugh I can't believe I have to help with something STUPID#Kes: You're very sensitive aren't you~? /gen /pos#The Doctor: ???? um ..... haha. idk. anyway I'm glad I could help :)#'how can we be seeing a reflection of something that we hadn't even done yet?' Voyager I love you MWAH#Tom Janeway B'Elanna: -temporal mechanics- / Harry: .... so how do we get out???#SUUCKS that in later seasons B'Elanna & Chakotay's relationship isn't focused on anymore but I mean. Every poc is pushed aside in later#seasons. But here you can see how much Chakotay believes in her and wants her to succeed!!! No wonder she likes him so much#He was probably one of the first people to really believe in her and SHOW IT and now Janeway's doing the same thing <3#My above post may paint Janeway somewhat negatively but it's only in the 'character flaws and being wrong about things means you have#a chance to grow' way - as soon as B'Elanna shows her potential Janeway wants to encourage it#God B'Elanna's so pretty#I forgot Seska was on the bridge!#'many of your teachers thought you had the potential to be an outstanding officer' SOMEONE SHOULD HAVETOLD HEEEER!!!!!!!!#WHY DID NO ONE TELL HEEER!!!!!
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Ok since Monika still has her admin powers in the side stories you think she could just discover them accidentally or use them without realizing
Anyways au where Monika and friends discover her admin powers but dont know about the wider context of what it means. So they just go around thinking Monika has magic and try practicing with a bunch of silly fun shenanigans because they figure it’s some chosen one bloodline stuff and not like. A product of their reality being a constricted digital science experiment.
This au will not end well
#yeah she probably needs the epiphany to consciously use it but hypothetical aus are fun and the angst potential it plentiful#the beauty of this au is that it contains potential for both wacky slice of life escapades and soul crushing angst#they’re like doing a dumb 3am ghost summoning ritual and Monika accidentally does some admin stuff and they’re like ‘woah your magic’#and they research a bunch of other dumb stupid rituals and nearly set the carpet on fire#they like try to rob a bank or cheat on a test and nearly delete half a building#and then at some point Monika suddenly extends her admin powers too far and acts real despondent for no reason#because she ends up epiphany beaming herself and is even more conflicted than base game because she grows so much more connected to the club#it’s even worse because they were her whole world and she knows so much she sees how human they are but they just aren’t apparently?????#and while she can’t pull a base game and kill everyone for a nonexistent player she still goes through so much angst and like#the girls notice and want to help but don’t know how because she won’t tell anyone and she keeps avoiding them and like aauughhh#it would probably end with Monika doing something drastic and trying to reach out for anyone out there who understands#and idk maybe she’ll find base game Monika post act 4 and she’s like ‘what the heck why did you abandon your friends don’t to what I did???’#and maybe she could fix her mistakes???? maybe not??????? whatever’s narratively fulfilling#shoot this was supposed to be a short post for a silly au what have I done#this feels like the plot of a kids tv show where the plot randomly gets really dark on its fifth season#also realizing al lot of the same plot points happen in my fantasy au so I really gotta get to that too#ddlc#doki doki literature club#tempestmothtalk
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Oh yeah this how she actually looks like
#funny as hell how i first showed her as a goofy ass sad cat#which i guess fits the vibe to an extent#idk i think that if i died protecting the child i wanted so so much for her to grow up and not only be unnable to remember me#but also view a child abuser who helped orchestrate a killing game as the closest she had to a mother figure i'd be pretty sad too#dra#danganronpa another#oc#fan character#Yukari Ando#Aka; Beni mom!#hyena scribbles
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It's my birthday tomorrow so I'm indulging with more OCs as a treat to me personally.
Halibut the wonderful mute (by choice) siren thinking about how in another universe, she can marry Tolliver. The other universe is Tomodachi Life. She married Tolliver in Tomodachi Life and I'm so normal about them being married and happy since they do not in fact get married and happy in canon. (thank you 3ds crack fodder game i love you and think about you often)
#my characters#im gonna be a mess tomorrow (emotionally) so the indulging comes today while i can function#when you grow up indifferent to your bday and then have a pet die on your bday it doesnt help much#so heres my baby girl halibut thinking about how shes happy in life#like she is canonically a happy bean and doesnt let kronos being a dick get her down#shes just happy to be alive and in other peoples lives and i love her so much and the fact she gets married in a 3ds game#and its such a cute lil marriage too im so happy its her and tolliver#it woulda been funny if she married kronos cause she does actually really like both of the guys in canon just#not romantically really so.... she coulda married either and i woulda been pleased for her choice#heck she coulda married another oc from another plot that i had in tomodachi life and i woulda been happy for her#she just deserves happiness and to say i do..........#one day when i have energy ill draw the five fanart ideas i have in my head#and ill draw the silly oc comic scenarios even lazily but not rn
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au or not, if i see any universes where Sokka and Katara are separated for some stupid reason or another, im slashing your tires myself, while Katara steals your cat and Sokka steals your valuables
#they are a packaged deal ur honor#also ANYONE WHO TRIES TO SEPARATE THEM CAN DIE BY MY BLADE. ILL FIGHT#U WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THE SIBLING BONDS LIKE I#no shame to anyone whose done this!#i just saw one too many Z tara aus where something something oh look Kataras all alone with no real family or whatever WRONG#Katara is a community girlie!! my love THRIVES in community with love and people to support and take care of and help!!! SHES A FAMILY GIRL!#THIS IS A BIG PART OF HER PERSONALITY???? BEING SHAPED BY GROWING UP IN THE VILLAGE AND IN A TIGHT KNIT COMMUNITY AND LOVING HOUSEHOLD#where with katara… i feel like at some point she ceases to be the beloved character we know and love. y’know?#z tara people just come off as wanting to alienate her so they can give katara and zuko an ‘us against the world’#dynamic which will never compare to the kataang ‘us bettering the world. together’#Katara aus… well. u can’t just change her whole lore. that’s NOT how her lore works. sadly. it’s not as versatile.#as Zuko. my man can fit so much trauma.#katara au#katara#katara alta#sokka#atla sokka#alta katara#sokka au#alta au
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Okay, like . . . it was one thing when they did their little retcon of Edgeworth's evidence forging in 1-5 because he was such a popular character and I guess they felt that having him be someone who could've once forged evidence to get wins would diminish that (even though he was already popular, and also we all remember that sus as hell "updated autopsy report" in 1-2, like get real), but are they REALLY trying to say that Manfred didn't forge evidence either, that his penalty wasn't deserved, that it was actually Excelsius Winner who was the forger all along? Really? Why? What is the purpose of this? Do they think Edgeworth and Franziska couldn't be upstanding if their teacher was a slimebucket? Because a.) neither of them were at first (updated autopsy report, illegal detention center photos), and b.) that's just not how that works regardless.
Man. This game series, man. I just don't always jive with the choices it makes.
#like personally the fact that Edgeworth has so much character development is WHY he's my favorite prosecutor#he was a dick to Mia in 3-4 to the point of making misogynistic comments! (tho T&T is chock full of misogyny so—)#and he learned from MvK how to manipulate witness testimony! AND forge evidence to get what he wanted!#he didn't necessarily do it every case perhaps — but again a second autopsy report that conveniently helps him? be fr#but like he CHANGES. he GROWS. he doesn't make a single misogynistic comment in the present day#he stops forging evidence. stops manipulating testimony. starts helping the defense. is willing to do anything for the truth#starting him at the bottom makes where he ends up that much better because it's a longer climb!!!#and Franziska gets it too tbh!! she goes from taking illegal detention center photos#& manipulating witness testimony & even saying in AAI1 that all that matters is winning to saying she wants the truth in AAI2!!!#she learns! she grows!! and that only matters bc she starts at the bottom beech!!#so retcons aren't necessary. and with MvK they really aren't bc he's fucking dead so no growth is possible#and anyway what he did isn't really smth forgivable so like 🤷♀️ what is even the point i ask again#anyway#aai2 spoilers#ace attorney
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hsr: references to yanqing's companion quest, jingliu's companion quest, and potentially anything else in and up to 1.4
(hi i don't make proper theories or analyses. i just scream my feelings into a void in a chaotic barrage of words.)
it makes me excited that yanqing and jingliu have had so much content together so far. both their companion quests heavily feature the other. yanqing appears in both jingliu's myriad celestia trailer and her keeping up with star rail video. i love that jingliu continues to say their "fates are intertwined". and i love that jing yuan asked yanqing to escort and keep watch of her during her final walk through luofu.
i don't know what jing yuan thinks of them personally. i think on a logical level he had to trust jingliu would keep her word, because yanqing wouldn't be able to stop her if she didn't. and yanqing's experience with her fits well with her request. but i also wonder if jing yuan took notice of jingliu's fondness for his student. i wonder if he can see the synergy these two have. in their shared closeness with swordsmanship. in their interactions that remained sincere and amiable in spite of being in opposition with each other. i feel a desperation in jing yuan to inspire positivity in his old, estranged friends' broken lives. he prioritizes his duties as a general first, but he can work in a little something if it's the right opportunity.
i trust jing yuan's judge of character. he's not infallible but he understands people well. i hope this is a good sign for jingliu and yanqing's friendship in the future.
i don't know. i just want good things for them.
#jingliu#yanqing#jing yuan#hsr 1.4 spoilers#text post#i know not everyone likes yanqing's involvement with jingliu's story so heads up: i will be talking about those two a lot#they just make me happy#and i think yanqing makes jingliu happy too#the thought of yanqing growing as a wielder of the sword#and jingliu rediscovering the significance of bonds in swordsmanship as she teaches him#it means so much to me#i also find it the most powerful force in pushing jingliu away from her path of self-destruction#at least at the moment#i really should be leaving this for a future post help#sword family make brain go brrr#give me happy sword family
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like guys i promise im aware blossomfall is meant to be a glass child. i just think she’s a poorly written one lmao
#tbh thats why my feelings on her are so strong. its a delicate topic for kids but time and time again#its been handled extremely poorly and just used as an excuse to hate disabled people#i think my exhaustion with these stories is bc they were sorta shoved down my throat by the school board growing up#because they heard ‘’wow you got TWO autistic brothers??? your life must SUCK ASS AND BALLS have this book abt how autism ruins families’’#wow cool i feel so much better guys. both about the ableism my family faces in general and about my undiagnosed autism#if i had to think. and i havent read this in forever so i could be misremembering. i think a decent example of a glass child trope#is the sister from ‘’wonder’’ (the book. idk what the movie did)#because while she’s an important character who struggles with internalized ableism#the focus is still on auggie and HIS struggles with his own disability and the ableism he faces as a result#and the sister isnt demonized for her feelings but she does still have to grapple with them#and accept her situation and that no one is at fault or anything. its just a consequence of an ableist society more than anything#again. been forever and ever since i read that book and iirc it does still have iffy shit like the one chapter on genetics#like to this day that sticks out as an uncomfortable chapter and idk if i can say its fantastic rep bc of that#but idk. i remember liking it fine as a kid#i always appreciated books that tried to get into multiple perspectives on the issues#also this is just me and ik it goes against the definition of the term#but man. kinda wish we’d get a glass child character thats also disabled and their disability is undiagnosed or ignored#for the sake of only prioritizing their sibling and bc they have to be ‘’the perfect abled child’’#because thats my story lol#wasnt allowed to be disabled or imperfect or need help because being a third disabled kid wouldve been too much
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Thinking about how similar Friede and Liko's brands of growing strong are (ie, being strong enough to protect the people they love).
#tbh even cap falls under this a bit because him becoming that strong was just a byproduct of teaching himself how to fly (see hz018)#and he had no interest in battling wild pkmn in that ep either. he just wanted to see the sun#and now he is using that strength to protect his crew (but it initially wasn't his main goal)#and friede and liko are very similar in that regard imo#liko enjoys fun battles but she keeps bringing up her desire to help protect others as her main source of motivation etc#friede enjoys battling too and it's mostly only amethio who ignites the rivalry feelings in him#(which is why their dynamics is important for him etc but that's another meta entirely)#all of this as opposed to roy and amethio's brands of being strong#which i think are more along the lines of 'i wanna defeat someone in particular' (the competitive side)#(something i don't really feel that much from friede tbh. he doesn't approach things the same way imo)#anyway i really like how horizons depicts characters having different reasons for growing stronger and they're all valued in the narrative#liko#friede#character notes
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Idk how me, a broad and chubby woman from a long line of broad and chubby women, and my husband, an average-height man from long lines of very tiny women and very average men, managed to produce a child so exceptionally tall, long, & lean that she can't wear store-bought clothes anymore without alteration. Yet here I am, dusting off a sewing machine I barely know how to operate....
#personal#this kid put on 2 inches in less than 3 months y'all#which is about how much she's supposed to grow in a YEAR at this age#while also somehow gaining no weight#i mean literally NONE#she even dropped an ounce overall#so no it wasn't my imagination that all her pants suddenly became too short#while simultaneously getting looser around the waist#and yes we're on top of the weight thing; she has a whole med team helping us out#it's cuz we finally found one of her EOE triggers so now she's eating more diversely and the inflammation is reducing#so her body is getting excited to go for all that growth it was putting off due to lack of nutrients and calories#same thing happened as an infant when she started PPIs for the first time#on my mama's grave she went from 50th percentile to 90th in less than a month#she also has a documented history of massive growth spurts every time her dosage gets upped to match her current size#the lack of weight gain is a bit worrisome tho so we're working on upping her calories as much as possible#but anyway#if anyone has tutorials on Learning To Make Kids Clothes for complete noobs let me know#cuz clothes cost too much for how much they DON'T fit her
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why why why why why why why why why why why why why
#i have ZERO means of paying off this daily growing electric bill. if i dont theyre going to shut it off on the 4th. its still over 100°f.#and after tomorrow im going to be charged DAILY rent for being here past the 1st#and my grandmother who was supposed to bring materials to pack and help me get this shit organized just straight didnt show up#TWO DAYS IN A ROW LOL#''im just tired and stressed :('' YEA BITCH ME TOO I NO MONEY AND NO WHERE ELSE TO GO BUT UR DOG FECES INFESTED MODULAR#I NEED HELP PLEASE LOL#i promised not to hurt myself but you also promised to help and have flaked like 4 times in less than 2 weeks SO#MAYBE KEEP UR END OF THE DEAL HERE BEFORE I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE HA HA#IM HAVING A ENDLESS PANIC ATTACK AND I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE IS ABANDONING ME 👍👍#MY MOM SAID SHE LOVED ME BUT THEN WHY DID SHE LEAVE ME TO THIS??? I CANT DO ANY OF THIS ALONE MUCH LESS EVERYTHING#I NEED HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP PLEASE#SS ISNT GOING TO JUST GIVE ME HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS BY TOMORROW NO MATTER WHO I TALK TO OR HOW MANY CALLS I MAKE#ALL I CAN DO IS SCREAM IN THE TAGS OF THIS STUPID BLOGGING SITE AND CRY
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yknow im probably going to sound a bit overdramatic for a moment with this sorry but,
ive said like two lore streams ago or w/e that im not going to let myself get as heated as i did at the start with how gun's been handling ( read : forgetting she exists ) maria all this time bc at this point i consider my portrayal of her an oc, as i essentially feel across the board with my other texas muses frankly but like.
i do think, while i was obviously thrilled to no end that they announced maria & she was playable etc, i do think the execution of her in-game really sincerely disappointed and pissed me off so badly. like yes end of the day shes a bunch of pixels etc etc whatever sure but its like. genuine frustration at how absolutely sidelined she has been since day one. and i know theres plenty of valid arguments for other characters receiving similar treatment ( ie. sonny ) in a variety of ways, and i do get the angle of maria initially serving as a haunting of the narrative, haunting her friends and sister and being more of that sort of invisible presence rather than physically there in the moment like they all are - but its severely disappointing to see just how little they give a shit about her, both in lore & in gameplay etc.
model-wise? shes completely fine i adore how she looks and everything shes beautiful shes adorable shes exactly as babygirl as i hoped and imagined her to be & look. but shes otherwise both so underwhelming and so borderline useless ( being generous ) and her ability is just the most uncreative pointless thing i feel they could have thought to give her. like. theres so many pieces i can rip apart for just that alone but i dont wanna yap for an eternity lmao
i just wish they gave an ounce of a shit about her. and like sure yes they could easily alter things or add on things on for her in the future etc. sure, yeah, fine and all but its just... i dont think im going to forget how sloppily put together they made her. or how they've consistently forgotten & disrespected her all these months. and with them branching away from her & the friendgroups' story into other victims' as time passes, their already sheer-ass attention spans are only going to grow thinner across the rosters and i guess in my eyes theyre just never going to make up for any of how they treated her character. and like yes thats fine bc i & others will do her infinitely better justice than they ever will but its still just like... its still disappointing.
like so much went wrong with that release day that i think i was just trying to cling onto the excitement of her just being playable but everything else, certain other complaints etc i wont get into, made me think that disappointment in how she was executed was an exaggeration on my part bc im too attached to her lmao and so i kinda just internalized the disappointment i think but it really is just like man. i feel like ive lowkey been in mourning of her since she was released. no faith at all that they are ever going to give her an ounce of dignity outside of how her model looks.
and again. i know i and the fandom do her infinitely more justice than they ever will at this point and that fact alone does make up for this all, i just wish she was remotely fun to play as and didnt feel like such a slapped together, zero-thought, near copy-paste non-asset in-game. i play her bc i love her but she also just makes me fucking sad LMAO
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#sorry for random whatever this is its been eating away at the back of my mind since release day & only worsened while playing lately lol.#im literally so fucking thankful that ive been able to work on her for so many months & that ive had such lovely experiences building#her character from the ground up with this lil corner i love you guys so sincerely & bigly for helping her grow into the character#she is currently & will grow into in the future - i just wish gun would love her w even a fingernails worth of how much we adore her.#( 'mourning' is probably overdramatic as hell but its the word that comes to mind lmao ) like i know my expectations need to stay#reigned in w/ gun & i try to but it is just. discouraging as hell w/ her in-game & then the constant worsening state of the#game on top of it not helping in the slightest lmao. anyways sorry again ignore me im just thinking too strongly about my girl-#end of: im proud of where ive been able to take her & how ive built her over this nearing year of writing her & im beyond happy w/ the#connections shes made & the stories being built & all of it. shes my oc as she stands on this acct & i truly hope i keep#building her for a long while more. sorry if u read thru all this nonsense also thank u & kisses to the sky for loving my girl w/ me <3#we all do more than gun literally ever will with any of them.#gonna go lie down & prob cry a moment & then return to Normal and try to write FNJKSD
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