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rosesastrology · 3 years

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The signs as Squid Game characters

Disclaimer: Don't take this literally, it's all in good fun and I don't mean that if you're.. well, any of these signs, that you're a murderer. This is just a fun little analysis :)

Seong Gihun: Sagittarius

Kang Saebyeok: Capricorn

Jiyeong: Gemini and Aquarius

Abdul Ali: Cancer and Pisces

Oh Ilnam: Aries

Cho Sangwoo: Virgo

Han Minyeo: Leo

Hwang Junho: Libra

Jang Deoksu: Scorpio

The frontman: Taurus

I doubt this is original but I, personally, haven't seen anyone do it yet.. So🏃‍♀️

— @rosesastrology

For the reasoning, click on read more! Beware of major spoilers of the show.

Seong Gihun: Gihun is the main character, and he's kind of anti-hero. He splurges his money, starts random fights, gambles, is divorced, has debt, and all of this world's luck just kinda seems to be against him. Even so, we can tell he's a guy with very proper morals for the most part. He builds up this mantra throughout the series: "A human life is worth more than money." And we empathize with him—until the moments where he breaks this. In episode 6 he basically manipulates Oh Ilnam, the old man, for his own benefit. And this is a side of him we haven't seen before, and we can see his guilt racking up. But he's willing to go through with it, until he's called out. In the finale, he's so fed up with Sangwoo that he almost kills him, breaking his mantra again (almost). But then, he doesn't. He chooses a B option. Here we see just how strong his morals are, and we see him redeeming himself. In the show, he's very self-sacrificing, and rarely wants to hurt others for his own benefit. He tries to be positive and is fun-loving, and funny. Still, while he can be quite emotional, during the games he's more innovative (perhaps the good side of his impulsive nature) and tries to stick with rationality. Putting all this together, I think he actually fits most to the character of Sagittarius.

Kang Saebyeok: Saebyeok had a traumatic past that led her to having some sort of attachment issues, it seems like. She doesn't trust anyone initially and is kind of a loner. She seems to believe in self-preservation over everything, but we can tell that she's not a 'bad' person. She's kinda blunt, kinda harsh, but not in an in-your-face type of way. This is shown by how quickly she sticks with Jiyeong and how she helps out Gihun's group as well. She's very curious, she wants to know what's going on behind the scene and goes out of her way to do so. During the marble episode, she can finally open up to Jiyeong because she knows one of them will die anyway. It doesn't matter. But you can see her pain, her empathy for Jiyeong, and you can sympathize with her because the person she grew close to so quickly. is taken away. During the games she tries very hard to keep up a cool front, even near the end when she's injured. She wants to protect others (Gihun, in this case) from what's going on with her. This shows she's protective, but also has her walls very high up. She's introverted, resilient, resourceful and saw little need to overthink about each game—tending to keep her cool instead. She preferred to keep her privacy and she took every game as it was. Even so, she was clearly quite detached from the whole experience. She did it all for her parents and little brother, whom she made some promises to she couldn't keep. Taking all this in consideration, I believe she fits most to the character of Capricorn.

Jiyeong: Even though she's not in the series for long, she's quite a complex character. She's a loner, and seems quite bored most of the time. She's blunt and doesn't really care how her words affect others. Even so, she takes a strong liking to Saebyeok and is very curious about her and her life. Jiyeong had a traumatic upbringing with an abusive father who murdered her mother, causing Jiyeong to murder him and spend most of her childhood in juvenile detention centers. We can tell Jiyeong has very strong morals, possibly even stronger than Gihun's. She believes in revenge, and protects those dear to her. She keeps her promises from start to finish and is a very solid character. She's obviously extremely self-sacrificing, but this is also due to the fact that she sees no value in her own life anymore and is kind of lost. This is very devastating, actually, when you really think about it. She lived most of the time in her head, daydreamed a lot and got distracted many times—even when her and Saebyeok's lives were on the line, she wanted to get to know Saebyeok first. She wasn't competitive, because she felt she didn't have anything to compete for. She valued Saebyeok's life over her own. She seems to value logic, but in the way she does it her logic tends to come from her own emotions. Taking all this in consideration, she fits most to the character of Gemini in my eyes.

Abdul Ali: Ali is arguably one of the 'best' characters, morality and kindness-wise. He's compassionate, extremely respectful and always sees the good in others. He seems to be somewhat culturally conditioned, which makes him more grounded in his beliefs that older people should be respected and admired. This, unfortunately, makes him an easy character to manipulate and use. He's incredibly self-sacrificing, even to people he doesn't know. This is shown by him saving Gihun in the first episode, risking his own life as well. His character fits most to the sign of Cancer and Pisces.

Oh Ilnam: Probably one of, if not the, biggest plot-twist in the series. He starts out as a weak and vulnerable character, which makes us empathize with him. He's old and fragile, and we think he's doing horribly. In the end, he's the one who orchestrated the squid games, seeing it as a more fair shot at societal gain. He's rich, but still played the squid games to relive the happiness he once felt as a child. He was rich, but not happy. So he wanted to simulate the joy he felt as a kid, and simultaneously give people a more fair short at society in his eyes. He didn't trust people, he didn't think people helped others. This is where him and Gihun were different. Ilnam had dark perspective of the world, he believed humans were not self-sacrificing or helpful. And so Squid Game was born—the ultimate test, and also a 'fun' game. Obviously, he was extremely manipulative. He's most similar to Aries in my opinion.

Cho Sangwoo: TikTok loves him, I hated him lmao. His life is a juxtaposition. His mother lives in the false reality that he's a successful businessman traveling the world, a graduate of SNU. In reality, he fled arrest after stealing money from his clients and losing it in the stock market, has no money, no future, his mom could lose her fish market and house, and he is suicidal. In the beginning we can see him try to commit suicide. Sangwoo is very analytical during the games, he sees everything as a chess game—and knows the next steps. He makes correlations quickly, and is prepared to manipulate and kill people directly and indirectly to win—even those closest to him. In the end, we can see him break character. He does something we wouldn't expect. He kills himself. Why? Perhaps because he knew Gihun would give money to his mother. Perhaps because he couldn't live with the guilt, although he showed little remorse, or because he couldn't get himself to kill Gihun—perhaps because, after all of this, he sees that he doesn't deserve it. Whatever it is, it brings him to an end. Definitely, he was a great character and 'villain.' I think he fits the character of Virgo and Gemini the most. Disclaimer: I don't hate Virgos or Geminis💀

Han Minyeo: This character has a lot to unwrap, in actuality. She's loud, kinda manipulative, in-your-face, cutthroat and unbelievably try-hard. She sides with Deoksu and the 'gangsters' for protection, but they drop her. She has sex on the fly, is incredibly impulsive, and does anything she can to keep people with her. And exactly this is what pushes people away. No one really talks about how she's dragged away in the marble episode, but I think it's one of the biggest 'breakers' for her characters. What does a character that's essentially making sure that no one will leave her's biggest fear? Not being picked. She had one hell of an exit, came through on her promise, showed she doesn't want to be played with and was willing to (literally) die on that hill. We don't know much about her past, apart from the fact she had a baby she didn't have enough money to name (if that wasn't a lie and tactic to get out). As for her, I think she fits Leo.

Hwang Junho: Junho is a cop, and the potential hidden hero of Squid Game. He's reliable, brave, and hates crime. He's curious, and while he's very much logical for the most part, he's still quite impulsive in the way he moves. He doesn't consider the consequences beforehand, leaving him in quite a pickle from time to time. He has strong morals, but can't bring himself to act upon them when he sees his brother is the evil he's been looking for all this time. I believe he fits the sign of Libra the most.

Jang Deoksu: Deoksu is the classic portrayal of a sociopath in media, arguably Sangwoo is also one (but high-functioning, rather than low-functioning like Deoksu). He kills without mercy, shows no remorse and is all-in for self-preservation. He doesn't care about.. well, most things. He's arrogant, intimidating and has little redeeming qualities. Still, in the end, his fears take over him—which again, breaks his character. The thing that holds him up the entire series is that he's fearless, but then he's not—and he gets punished. I feel like he fits Scorpio the most. The reason for this is not because he's batshit crazy, though he is, but a lot of his actions come from spur of the moment emotions and it seems like he 'has seen some shit'. Troubled waters run deep, kind of thing.

As for the frontman, he is reliable and resilient. He speaks matter-of-factly and is a former Squid Game winner. He finds that these games fit in his belief system (or perhaps he's being pressured, who knows). Either way, he moves without fault. He kills his own brother for this, he betrayes everyone—and he doesn't care. I feel like he fits the sign of Taurus the most.

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justnerdthings · 3 years

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New Beginnings Ch.4

Female reader x Liu Kang/Kung Lao (Not sure which yet)

This chapter is a bit shorter, so I'm going to go ahead and post it now. Hope you enjoy!

Liu was much easier to relax around. He didn’t openly judge you on things that didn’t matter. Though, he had gently mentioned that you were a bit on the heavy side. “Not to worry, It’ll be gone soon enough,” he’d told you as he thrusted a pole into the sand. You stared at it expectantly. He stood in front of it, held his hands as if to pray, took a deep breath, then slammed his palm on it. He drove it down until it only stood a few inches out of the sand. How the hell did he do that without breaking his hand? He straightened up and grinned at your bewilderment. “You’re wondering how I did that.”

“Yeah…”

“Training.” Right. Of course. Training. You sighed. He stepped back and pointed down to the pole. He flashed you another grin. “I’m willing to bet that your fear of heights is attributed to falling from the height.”

“Uh… Yeah.” Honestly, if you could fly, you probably would be okay with heights. You might even love them.

“So we’ll address that.”

“What?”

“Come here.” He pointed to the pole again. You stepped over and looked down at it. “Step on it.”

You looked up to him with a raised brow.

He nodded and held out his hands. You hesitantly reached for them and he gripped your hands tight, but carefully. “Step on it.” You did, balancing for a whopping two nano-seconds before you dropped your other foot to catch yourself. “Good.” He still held onto you. “Again.”

You stiffened with anxiety. You were just going to keep falling. But you lifted back onto it… and promptly lost your balance again. Frustrated, you lifted right back up, and wobbled unflatteringly before falling forward.

Liu let go your hands and in too quick of a motion to see, he caught you by the waist.

“Sorry,” you said quickly. Your jaw clenched as you realized how close you two were.

He chuckled softly in your ear and stepped back to give you room. “It’s alright. Try not to get frustrated. Remaining calm is the key to control.” He let go of you and gestured back to the pole.

“Okay…” You stepped back, still feeling a bit awkward. Okay, stay calm. Sure. You could do that. You sucked in a breath and looked down at the pole. You placed your foot on it, shifting around until it felt like it would be a good spot to balance. You lifted onto it and outstretched your arms to help balance, but slipped. You huffed.

“Keep going,” Liu coached, stepping closer. He offered his hands again. “Use me to lean on when you feel yourself losing balance. But only then.” You knew he’d catch you if you fell. You kept trying. Each time, you lost your balance but got right back up. You didn’t know how long you were at it, but you’d tried both feet, alternating as one got tired. Liu stood right by you the entire time, giving you constructive guidance and letting you lean on him as needed.

Liu’s logic was spot on. Your balance was not the best. You spent more time leaning on Liu than actually balancing. If you were going to pass Lao’s meditation training, you would need to get control of your balance. You had two months to prepare for sitting on the edge of Raiden’s arena, and you sure as hell would feel better about it if you could trust a small breeze to not knock you over.

By the time Liu stopped you, your feet were sore and your confidence shot. You had zero balance. And you would bet that Liu could balance on that pole, ten feet in the air, for hours. You were horribly ill-prepared. But Liu hadn’t lost hope. “You will get better,” he’d told you. And he meant it. Dinner. You were glad to get off your feet. You slipped out of your shoes at the door and gratefully plopped yourself down at the table. Oh, god, did that feel so good. It was like coming home after a long day at work, on your feet for eight hours. You rubbed your soles and Liu chuckled as he sat next to you. “Those will also get better,” he assured softly.

“Jesus Christ…” you hissed as your thumbs massaged your sore soles.

“Liu Kang, actually,” he joked with a small grin.

You rolled your eyes, but gave him a chuckle. “Those shoes you guys gave me don’t have hardly any support.”

“They are traditional monk’s shoes. They were not designed for support.”

“Okay, but is it too much to ask for some skechers?”

Liu chuckled. “These shoes will help strengthen your feet.”

“These shoes are going to destroy my feet,” you said as the door opened behind you. You didn’t bother to look.

“Who took their shoes off?” Lao announced as he sat, feigning a bad smell.

You mocked his grin and lifted a socked foot, reaching it out towards his face to tease him back. He swatted it away with a laugh.

“Elder Gods be damned, you need to put those things away,” he continued.

“They don’t smell. That’s just you,” you countered. “Was fine in here before your ass showed up.”

“Aw, did I interrupt something?” He lifted a brow with a sly grin as he looked between you and Liu.

“Jealous?” you asked.

“I wouldn’t be caught dead with you.”

“That’s good, because I’m not into necrophilia.”

“Is that why you don’t have a boyfriend?”

You mocked his grin again. “Look who’s talking.”

Lao straightened. “I am very particular about choosing my future wife,” he told you.

“Oh? Not enough to just have a pulse?”

Liu grinned but stayed out of it as he fixed his plate.

“She will have to birth my children. I don’t want someone who can’t handle that honor.”

You laughed. It sounded more like a punishment to you.

“She will give birth to the next Kung Lao, who will be trained to fight in future Mortal Kombats. He will carry my ancestor’s legacy.”

“Who even is that guy anyway? You never told me.”

“He lived over five-hundred years ago. He was the first representative of The Order Of Light to fight in Mortal Kombat. He defeated Shang Tsung and saved Earthrealm—” Lao was interrupted.

“Shang Tsung had won the nine previous tournaments,” Liu added.

“Like now?” you asked. Liu nodded and Lao continued.

“It is customary for the victor to kill their opponent, but my ancestor did not. He showed Shang Tsung mercy. Fifty years later, Shang corrupted the tournament and my ancestor was killed by Goro, a Shokan prince. Shang Tsung then took his soul to power his sorcery.”

“What?...” you breathed. Was Lao being serious? You looked to Liu and he nodded. Lao was really telling you the truth.

“Every first born son of my family has been given his name and has vowed revenge against Shang and Goro.”

“Wait. Wait.” You had to process this. “They’re still alive? They’re five-hundred years old?”

“The grand champions do not age as long as they keep their title,” Liu explained.

“They don’t age?... Like… Immortal?”

“They are still mortal. They can die as anyone else. They just won't die of old age.”

“That’s fucking crazy…”

Lao and Liu both grinned.

“So… Wait… How old are you guys?”

“We have not won any tournaments,” Liu answered.

You nodded. That was both the answer you hadn’t wanted, and had wanted. “That doesn’t give me much hope for winning the next one.”

“The pressure is immense,” Liu said with an understanding nod.

“But we will win,” Lao said, sure of himself. “We have to. There is no choice.”

@ancientowlgirl @miss-nori85

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat 2021 #liu kang #kung lao #raiden #reader insert #fanfic #fic #reader x character #ludi lin #max huang #tadanobu asano #new beginnings

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theravennest · 3 years

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Hot Loki Take: Sylvie was Right

*Spoilers for all of Loki the series up to and including ep 6.

Sylvie was right to kill He Who Remains and free the timeline.

I’m deadass.

He Who Remains forced reality into an endless cycle between a time of Order (he rules as dictator) & a time of simulated and controlled "Chaos" (his Conqueror variants wage war). I say this “chaos” is simulated because when you think about it, it’s chaos that He Who Remains arranges himself by manipulating Lokis.

He Who Remains is so fucking sus but for some reason people are just tripping over their own feet to believe everything he says and vilify Sylvie for killing him.

He literally tells them (and us) that his methods are deceptive and we know for a fact that he’s willing to murder trillions upon trillions of people, planets, and realities to get the outcome he wants. Yet some are still believing everything he says cuz he said maybe 4 things that were truthful, I guess, and cuz he’s cute. Some of us are so blinded by the fear/anticipation of Kang the Conqueror’s arrival, we are letting him bamboozle us.

He Who Remains perfectly and personally tailored the Ordered period of the timeline to produce this exact Sylvie and this exact Loki, had them meet/influence each other, and then had them travel to the end of time...to him.

Now Lokis by nature are agents of chaos and could suddenly swerve left, so to speak, for no reason. So let’s assume I believe that He Who Remains didn’t 100% know what they would choose once they crossed the Threshold (if the Threshold he described is even real, tbh). He also so carefully molded both of their entire lives for that moment in the Citadel. He may not have known 100% but he knew at least 90% of how they would react to everything he said and did when they were both pushed to this place/mindset.

Notice how he teed them up for the fight that ended in his death:

Manufacturing a scenario where they would meet via the TVA’s variant pursuit.

Manufacturing a scenario where they would travel to the Void and meet Alioth.

Kid Loki being in just the right place to give his sword to Loki.

Miss Minutes appearing to menacingly offer an obvious devil’s bargain.

Him slyly telling Sylvie that she can’t trust Loki, putting it into her head just before he gives them his ultimatum.

All of these thing practically gift wrapped that ending to the Loki on Sylvie fight.

Let’s elaborate.

What was even the point of Miss Minutes offering to re-insert them into the same Sacred Timeline with both getting their hearts’ desires there?

Not more than ten minutes later He Who Remains told Loki and Sylvie to their faces that he manipulated all this for the sole purpose of making them choose between taking over as rulers of the TVA or killing him and ushering in a Multiversal War. Neither of those choices would result in re-inserting Loki and Sylvie back into the timeline.

So what is the truth? Why waste precious moments with a creepy Miss Minutes menacing them in that vestibule scene?

Notice how Miss Minutes’ words pushed Loki further onto his path of no longer wanting power or a throne but desiring to change his attitude about himself and the universe. Notice how her words conversely pushed Sylvie into balking at the idea of accepting another “fictional” life after a lifetime of being manipulated and made her double down on her mission to free the timeline and get revenge.

Sylvie has the ability to see memories but interesting how he kept her distracted by condescending to her and provoking her, just stoking the fire to make her react negatively. (Interesting how he was far more focused on Sylvie’s reactions than Loki’s, most likely because he needed her to kill him for his plans to work.)

Now I don’t want to completely shift responsibility for her choices away from Sylvie. In truth, if she had held in her vengeance for let’s say an hour and trusted Loki a bit more, they could’ve sat down to talk about things and maybe found a third solution other than starting a Multiversal War or ruling the TVA that still could’ve even allowed her to get revenge. (More on the ultimatum later.)

But I can’t blame her for losing her cool, either. He Who Remains made damn sure she would burn as hot as possible because he tailor made her life to give her the personality he wanted. And any other version of her out there who might have made a different choice would’ve already been pruned.

He Who Remains tells Loki and Sylvie straight up that he set them on their particular life paths because he needed them to be “changed by the journey” to ensure everyone in that room was in exactly the right mindset to do what was needed to “finish the quest” and presumably “slay the dragon,” aka Him. (Notice the parallels to the speaker narration just before episode 2′s fight at the Ren Fair.)

We don’t know! Sylvie never enchanted him to read his memories because she was so filled with rage and Loki was too busy trying to stop her, he didn’t think to do it either. And we’ve already established that He Who Remains trained them that way. Nothing that happened in that office was without He Who Remains’ influence and meddling.

Another nail in the coffin that convinces me that He Who Remains is a no good dirty liar is Renslayer.

If He Who Remains’ end goal was to either have the Lokis choose to rule the TVA or destroy it and thus end up with no memory of her previous TVA judge role/life, why did he send Miss Minutes to Ravonna with files that caused her to pack her bags and search for what she calls “free will,” AKA the one in charge?

I’d bet dollars to donuts that when the next season rolls around the only people who will know what’s going on and still have their memories will be Loki, Miss Minutes, Sylvie, and Ravonna. (Maybe Kang the Conqueror will know as well but I could see it going the other way too. I’m 50-50.)

He Who Remains was planning something by pushing Ravonna the way he did. Does he want her out of the TVA so she doesn’t lose her memories when everything resets? Does he want her to go find the Conqueror version of himself? I mean, at this point, practically everyone knows who she is to Kang in the comics, so let’s not pretend that’s not an option.

Another thing to think about...it’s super suspicious that he was so eager to make them believe he’s one of the “good versions” of Kang and all these others are much worse while giving absolutely no evidence of that outside of an interactive blob powerpoint, a quirky attitude, and a couple of sad, weary faces????

Who’s to say He Who Remains isn’t playing the long game and always manipulates his variants to eventually give him the chance to seize control of the multiverse?

Who’s to say he’s not one of the Kangs that wanted to conquer too? Funny how the “pure of heart” Kang is the one who still wrested control of all reality, killed off every other timeline with a weapon of mass destruction, installed a fascist time bureaucracy, and set himself up as the dictator. Sounds an awful lot like some conqueror shit to me, just saying.

Even wilder theory: what if this really is the same Kang the Conqueror but at the end of his life? We only have hhis word that he’s a variant. He Who Remains tells Loki that this fight is for the “young and hungry.” Maybe the “young and hungry” he’s referring to is not Loki and Sylvie at all but his literal younger self. Perhaps he set up this entire cycle of chaos and order so that he can perpetually live, conqueror, rule, die, and start all over again? Reincarnation, as he says...

But let’s set that wild theory aside for a moment. Let’s circle back to the Multiversal War debate and say it really is is caused by an infinite amount of his variants.

I think it’s hella sus that He Who Remains was so insistent that Loki and Sylvie only had two choices to resolve this riddle: Multiversal War or running the TVA almost exactly the way he did while maintaining only a single timeline. Those are definitely not the only two options they had. In fact, I could probably name 1-3 other options off the top of my head right now:

Keep He Who Remains alive while learning how he manipulated time and using those skills to slowly unleash the multiverse while killing every version of Kang to prevent him from existing as either conqueror or dictator.

Kill He Who Remains, take over the TVA, and slowly change it to something not horrific or even build a brand new system for governing time.

Kill or keep He Who Remains, still take over the TVA, slow rollout the Multiverse and kill or prevent every Kang along the way.

(I’m not saying these aren’t also morally questionable options, I’m just saying they are different from the two choices He Who Remains presented.)

But let’s say these options I suggested are not feasible. I just randomly came up with them ten minutes ago so it would be fair if they were picked apart logically.

So let’s contemplate this, instead:

Why should we assume/believe that a Multiversal War is actually a bad thing again??? Why are we assuming that He Who Remains’ Sacred Timeline really saved reality from total collapse?

Assuming he told the truth about his motives, maybe he was just...wrong about the end of reality. Maybe he saw what he thought was the conclusion to the Multiversal War coming and erroneously believed it to be the end of everything but actually it was the multiverse sorting itself out and everything would’ve been fine after.

We (and He Who Remains too) will never know because not only did he not show any evidence to back up his claim that reality was on the brink of collapse, but he himself never allowed things to play out naturally. Whenever the end of the war comes to the brink of something, he always panics, weaponizes Alioth, and traps the universe in his cage of Order with the TVA.

Even more controversial take...maybe the collapse of timelines and the end of everything should be allowed to happen. Maybe the natural cycle of reality is to build and build, splinter and splinter timelines, until it collapses and starts all over again from the void.

Nothing is created and nothing is destroyed, all things exist in a cycle so why should the multiverse be any different?

After all in all, in all three possibilities an infinite number of timelines is destined to suffer and die. Whether it be during the Kang-controlled Order period, Kang-controlled fake Chaos period, or the unrestrained natural Chaos that collapses in on itself...an untold amount of people are dying anyway. There’s only one of those scenarios that has actual unrestrained free will where those people get to exist how they want, make choices they want (even bad ones) for as long as they can.

(Personally, I’ll take that over what the Kangs have wrestled the multiverse into.)

I’ll just take this moment to re-iterate: trust nothing He Who Remains says. He’s a known liar and manipulator, and unlike Loki he has done absolutely nothing to actionably show he’s not still lying or to show that he’s trying to change outside of some sad looks. It’s all pantomime, bruh. Like, the pageantry of it all astounds me.

Is he maybe telling some truths? Sure. But that doesn’t mean he’s not using the truth to manipulate everything. It’s an illusion, I’m telling y’all! He was up to no fucking good.

Sylvie was far more right to kill him than to not. Loki, Sylvie, & team (prolly also the latest Avengers lineup too) now just need to find a way to break this Kang cycle.

#loki #loki laufeyson #sylvie laufeydottir #kang the conqueror #he who remains #loki spoilers #mcu #mcu spoilers

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sylvie--laufeydottir · 3 years

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an obligatory analysis of sylvie’s character (aka: who betrayed who?)

in case you can’t tell, i like sylvie. but here’s a big fuckin post where i share my thoughts on her role in the finale in a sort of disjointed kind of way.

NOTE: this isn’t about sylki. i don’t ship it personally, but that isn’t really relevant to this at all. this also doesn’t go into the criticisms i have of the show because this isn’t really the place for that. maybe i can do that later, whatever.

also, this is gonna be a long post. i have a lot of thoughts.

sylvie’s introduction and motivations

one of the first things we learn about sylvie is her opposition to the tva. (okay, it’s literally the first thing, whatever.) in episode 3, we get to see her entire plan - overthrow whoever’s running the tva, and... that’s it. loki questions her about the power vacuum that would leave, to which she shows that she’s not interested in running the tva. (this is also stated in ep 2.) her goals are clear. she wants rid of the entire organisation, and doesn’t care about or want the sort of power that would come with pulling the strings.

her reasoning for this seems pretty simple. she doesn’t want the power ruling the tva would entail because she knows what it’s like to be on the other end of that deal. she had everything taken from her as a child, and doesn’t want that to happen to anybody else. she believes that that kind of power belongs to nobody, not even herself.

this easily establishes her as a character who, despite having an ego, has principles that trump everything else. she’s very dedicated to her cause; the ‘never at the expense of the mission’ line in ep 3 just states it out loud. her entire life has been dedicated to this cause. this is a good time to segue into the next section...

sylvie’s personality, character and flaws

she’s fuckin stabby.

despite only really being present for 4 out of the 6 episodes of the show, we manage to get a pretty good idea of sylvie’s personality right from the start thanks to episode 3 being largely a character study with both her and loki. she’s shown as a very competent and strong character - however, contrary to marvel’s guidebook on writing female characters, those aren’t personality traits. what we actually see of her is that she’s very confident, and has a tendency to be rude or dismissive of other people. episode 3 has a bunch of examples of this, but the easiest one to point to is the fireworks scene. after loki does something nice to cheer her up, something which visibly works, her response is to waive it away as ‘not bad’.

her coldness in this scene even after bonding with loki is likely due to her upbringing. sylvie spent the majority of her life, including her childhood, on the run, unable to form relationships with people who weren’t moments away from dying. it feels a bit redundant for me to point this out, but this is, as they say in the medical field, mega fucking traumatic. not only did sylvie not have the opportunity to form these kinds of connections, she couldn’t even develop the ability to form them. loki is a bandaid to cover a bullet hole in this regard, one she needs years to heal from. while she does bond with him to an extent, she is physically unable to trust him to the point where they can be considered close.

another thing we learn about sylvie is that she’s very violent - and that she enjoys it. being a character that grew up running from an organisation that wanted her dead, it makes sense for her first instinct to be confrontational. however, despite having to fight to survive, she visibly takes pleasure from fighting. this was brought up in an interview with sophia (that i am not going to link here, because tumblr is kind of a hellsite and i’m not in the mood for that today). here’s a nice extract instead.

“She's not trained like Loki is,” Di Martino continues. “She can't do some of the flourishes that he would, but she's figured out how to brawl. She's a street fighter and she loves it. That was a really great key to unlocking part of Sylvie for me, was how much she just loves a fight. She knows that she's either going to win, or if she isn't going to win, she'll survive. She's that damaged character who's dangerous because she knows she can survive.”

her tendency towards violence is actually a key part of sylvie’s character. this works as both a strength and a flaw. on the one hand, she’s able to survive scrapes most other characters wouldn’t, and she knows that. she’s not one to freeze in most (note: most) scenarios, because she knows what to expect. on the other hand, violence isn’t always the answer, and she’s very unlikely to consider any other option than a fight.

her enchantment abilities tie into this - they’re another weapon for her to use, and one she’s not afraid to call on. however, her eagerness to enchant people without hesitation puts her in a pretty bad place morally. her enchantment clearly leaves hunter c-20 traumatised, and yet she’s more than willing to enchant people for the sake of the mission. she’s also relatively dismissive of human sentient lives. an early example of this is in episode 2, where loki asks her if the person she had enchanted was dead, to which she responds with a casual ‘they usually survive’. additionally, she’s more than willing to fight the guards on the train in episode 3, despite them seeing her as a threat for completely understandable reasons.

in the case of the guards, her reasoning for placing such little value on their lives is likely that they’re about to die anyways. everyone on lamentis is doomed, so from her point of view, whether they die at her hands or at the hands of the moon from majora’s mask isn’t really important. however, c-20 is a different story. sylvie places next to no value on the lives of the tva’s workers, content to slaughter them en masse for the sake of her goal. this is despite her knowing that every one of the tva workers is a variant plucked from the sacred timeline. this sets up a weird sort of transactional nature in how sylvie views other people - to her, they’re less important than the mission, and she doesn’t hesitate to eliminate threats.

was this a long section? this was a long section. i would like to call back to the fact that this is not a sylki post for this next part. and also to praise anyone that got this far, because fucking hell, is this excessively long or what? who would have the time to write this out?

sylvie’s bond with loki

i want to go back to that whole thing about her relationship with loki. he’s the first person she’s really spoken to since she was a child who isn’t about to face imminent death. furthermore, despite their differences, they have quite a lot in common - enough to hit it off surprising well for two people who kind of want to kill each other. they’re able to relate on common ground like frigga, and even though they clash due to loki’s initial carelessness, they’re overall able to get along well enough aside from occasional bickering. the blanket scene from episode 5 is probably the best example of this. sylvie allows herself, albeit briefly, to be vulnerable around loki.

except, not really. one of the first things she does is tries to ensure he won’t betray her. i’ve seen somebody cite this before as proof that her fondness towards him isn’t real, and that she was planning on betraying him from the start, hence why it was on her mind. that’s definitely possible, but i think it’s far more likely that it’s just her difficulties connecting to people stopping her from feeling safe around him even as they share a nice moment. she really does seem to care about loki - an easy example of this is her asking how he is during episode 4 without being prompted. she’s just unable to properly process these kinds of feelings due to an incomprehensible amount of trauma. as loki puts it, she can’t trust.

and loki can’t be trusted. she knows - or at least, thinks she knows - his nature as a trickster and a villain. loki embodies a part of sylvie that she considers herself completely separate from; the tva-approved liar whose purpose is to bring out the best in others. while she does show him more decency than to treat him like that, at the end of the day, he represents something that makes her deeply uncomfortable, hence her rejection of the loki name. despite what they have in common, loki is an incredibly difficult person to trust, especially for somebody who has deep-rooted trust issues. so, this brings us onto...

who betrayed who?

so, sylvie and loki make it to kang’s castle. after all this time, she’s finally about to reach her life’s goal. she’s clearly nervous - this is out of her comfort zone, unlike most fights. loki reassures her, and they head in. they meet kang, learn the true nature of the tva, have the opportunity to kill him...

and loki stops her.

loki’s motivations are left ambiguous. the uncharitable interpretation is that he wants to rule the tva for himself, as per kang’s offer. he’s expressed such an interest to sylvie before. for the loki we know in avengers 1, this seems perfectly in character.

however, for the loki we’ve seen in the show, there’s a different option. he believes kang’s threat that there are multiple of him, and that killing him won’t solve anything. to him, he isn’t willing to risk unknown horrors for the sake of taking his revenge out on kang. this is the loki who offered diplomacy and guile to counteract sylvie’s brute force.

but sylvie, who can’t trust, assumes the worst.

to her, loki was the one who betrayed her. they had a plan - find whoever pulls the strings, and destroy them. to her, loki’s hesitation isn’t caution, but treachery. taking kang’s offer to rule the tva is exactly what she thinks she should’ve expected from the guy who hurts everybody who loves him. her fight or flight responses kick in, and she chooses the one she always chooses. loki’s attempts to reassure her fall on deaf ears, not just because she doesn’t want to trust him, but because she’s physically incapable of it. she makes the short-sighted decision of brute force, just like she did back on lamentis, because it’s all she’s ever known, and the cause she’s dedicated her life to.

from the outside, it looks like sylvie was the one who betrayed loki, but things look pretty different from where she’s standing.

this is why i take issue with people calling sylvie a ‘villain’ or questioning whether this was her plan for the start. in my opinion, her motivations line up pretty clearly as a creature of habit, one who panics at the first hint of smoke and pushes away the first person she’s been able to bond with for the sake of self-preservation. did she make the wrong decision? unquestionably - the effects of her actions will no doubt plague the multiverse (and the mcu, for us) for as long as they go unchecked. but she made the only decision she was capable of making, and that’s not villainous, just tragic.

conclusion

well, this is a kind of depressing way to finish this post. for what it’s worth, though, i don’t think sylvie is a doomed character. regardless of how brief it was, she did show a real connection with loki. just because something requires a lot of healing doesn’t make it impossible. this is why i like sylvie as a character so much; she’s deeply flawed and complex, but that complexity makes her interesting, and relatable. marvel has a long history of sexy lamps and supposed ‘tortured backstories’, but sylvie is the first time they paid attention to this with their character writing without having to give somebody a wholeass prequel movie. with loki confirmed to appear in multiverse of madness, i’m hoping we see more of sylvie - not as a villain, but as a hero who can overcome her past experiences and rise to better things.

or maybe another kang shows up and kills her immediately. who knows.

#sylvie #sylvie laufeydottir #loki #loki theory #loki analysis #loki series #long post #like really fucking long #i’m so sorry for this #not a gif

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avi17 · 3 years

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(First day of new job, time to ramble on my lunch break 🤣)

So @bastardsunlight and @sxvethelastdance have roped me into watching MK Conquest, and outside of the uhhh sillier elements of that show (aka a lot of them), I'm super mad that it reminded me that "the Mortal Kombat champion doesn't age until the next tournament and basically either keeps winning or is killed" is a thing in game canon. Anyone who knows me from other fandoms knows that I eat angst for breakfast and that I like to expand on canon but almost never outright toss it. But any variation of that concept applied to 2021 Liu Kang is like...too depressing even for me.

Like, Ludi Lin has talked so much about how the thing that his version of Liu Kang wants most is family, and that he finds it first in Kung Lao and then in the rest of Earthrealm's champions. But if he becomes the tournament's ultimate champion, even assuming everyone else somehow lives, he then gets to watch them age and die and ends up alone again. He would see the marks passed down the generations, but I imagine he would become more and more reluctant to allow himself to get attached when he knows he's going to lose them all. (Except Kitana, I guess, but even if you ship that romantically (and assuming she's still immortalish in this version), a love interest still isn't a substitute for that sense of family if that's the thing that is most important to him.) What is going to keep this man fighting and living hundreds of years from now with no one that he loves left within the realm he's supposed to be defending? Duty? That's miserable.

I'm willing to do fixit stuff in this fandom because "nobody actually stays dead" IS part of canon, but this only gets worse in a story in which they manage to bring Kung Lao back. Because then Liu Kang just gets to lose him again, but slowly, inexorably, with absolutely nothing he can do to stop it. Like...god I know 2021 Raiden apes a line verbatim from Elrond (he does, if you didn't catch it xD it's hilarious) but I didn't expect this to just go full fucking Lord of the Rings. Jesus.

I guess you could argue that someone like Cole might end up champion in this universe instead of Liu Kang, but that's....also awful? Like great he has a wife and KID to watch age and die without him

Genuinely curious as to people's opinions on how likely this is to end up part of the new movie canon if it continues? (Especially with the dragon markings/"arcana" concepts being so different from the games.) Is it too essential a part of canon to ignore, or have the games kind of taken liberties with it over the different iterations? Does anything besides this silly 90s show ever address how depressing that prospect is? I feel like I've never seen it brought up in a fic, are we all just collectively pretending it's not a thing?

#liulao #liu kang #mortal kombat #mortal kombat 2021 #Kung Lao #basically I'm asking if it would be ridiculous of me to just ignore this #bc i NEVER do that but my brain is stuck on this and now idk what to do with this next fic #mk 2021 #mk2021 #Cole Young #Kitana #mortal kombat meta

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Squid Game Ending Explained

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This SQUID GAME article contains MAJOR spoilers.

For a series with a relatively well-worn premise, Netflix’s Squid Game sure does manage to pack a lot of surprises into its conclusion. It does this in large part by recognizing that the series’ success hinges not so much on who wins the game, but on how they win it and what it all means. Like the show’s beginning, much of Squid Game‘s final hour is set outside the world of the arena—this time, a year following the events of the bulk of the show. Let’s break down what happens in the Squid Game ending…

Who Wins Squid Game?

While the meat of Squid Game‘s conclusion comes outside of the game, the final round—Round Six, the series’ original title—is effective. In a callback to the series’ opening scene, which shows kids playing the titular “squid game” as Gi-hun explains the rules, the final two contestants must face off in the children’s game. It’s especially fitting (and depressing) that the final two contestants are Gi-hun and Cho Sang-woo, as the two grew up in the same town and used to play squid game together as kids. More than that, Sang-woo has been deemed a success by society (well, up until that embezzlement part) and Gi-Hun, a failure. By pitting these two against one another in Squid Game’s final contest, and making it very clear who the more humane human is, the series is calling into question the metrics by which we measure status and worth in our world.

As Squid Game progresses, the competition has become more and more encouraging of inter-contestant violence. This is especially true for the final round, in which Gi-hun and Sang-woo are allowed to use force to beat the other person—even to their death. It’s about winning the squid game or making it so your opponent can’t win the squid game… or anything else. It’s barbaric and raw and, for a moment, it seems like Gi-hun may succumb to the kind of desperate brutality that has claimed so many in this game.

After an ugly fight, Gi-hun manages to beat Sang-woo to the ground and make his way to the circle drawn in the sand that, should he step inside, would mean his victory and Sang-woo’s death. He almost does it, too—he is so angry with Sang-woo whom, over the course of the game, he has realized is willing to kill in order to secure his victory—but, in the end, human life is worth more to Gi-hun than any sum of money. It’s what Kang Sae-byeok reminded him of right before she died (at Sang-woo’s hand). We all have the capacity to do both good and terrible things. Gi-hun may have a good heart, but, more impressively, he is able to act with it.

This is exactly what Gi-hun does, realizing that he doesn’t have to choose money over human life. One of the three rules in the game allows for the competition to be canceled should a majority agree to end it. The group enacted it after the first round before deciding to re-instate the game shortly after. To the surprise of the VIPs watching from their gilded booth, Gi-hun walks back over to Sang-woo and asks him to leave with him. To end the game. Sang-woo seems to consider it, reaching out for Gi-hun outstretched hand, before he instead takes the dagger buried in the ground next to him and plunges it into his own neck.

Why does Sang-woo do it? Perhaps he is too ashamed of what he has done, both in the arena and outside of it. Or maybe he can’t stand to face his mother and others without the money. Perhaps he does the math and realizes, at this point, the only way to get the money to his mother is to make sure Gi-hun wins it and helps out the woman he’s known since he was a kid. Maybe he’s just tired and traumatized. Probably, it’s all of the above. Whatever the reason, Sang-woo kills himself and Gi-hun wins the game. In the end, though, I think it’s clear that no one actually wins Squid Game.

Squid Game: What Could Season 2 Look Like?

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Who Dies in Squid Game?

It might be easier to list who doesn’t die. None of the game’s 456 contestants make it out, save for protagonist Gi-hun and old man contestant Oh Il-nam (more on that later). Ali is tricked by Sang-woo into giving all of his marbles in Round Four, and is killed by the soldiers. Han Mi-ryeo succeeds in her promise to kill gangster Jang Deok-su when she grabs onto him and throws them both off of the glass bridge in Round Five. Kang Sae-byeok, the North Korean woman looking to get back to her brother, is killed by Sang-woo in the lead up to the final round.

Notable deaths in the series conclusion that take place outside the arena include Hwang Joon-ho, the police officer who infiltrates Squid Game pretty damn effectively, only to be killed by the Front Man, aka his own brother. And also Gi-hun’s mother, whom Gi-hun finds dead upon returning to his apartment after winning the game. Presumably, she died from complications to her diabetes, which is shown to be very serious in the second episode.

Joon-ho’s Brother: Who is In-ho?

In the eighth episode of the season, “Front Man,” Hwang Joon-ho makes it off of the arena’s island with evidence of the game. He is hunted down by the game’s Front Man and his goons. Joon-ho tries to call for back-up and to send he evidence he has gathered to his police chief, but is unable to due to cell phone poor service. He is cornered on a high, rocky cliff and asked to surrender by the Front Man, who reveals himself to be Joon-ho’s own brother, In-ho.

In Episode 5, “A Fair World,” Joon-ho discovers that his brother was a previous winner of Squid Game—in 2015, five years prior. Somehow, In-ho went from being a winner to being a main controlling force—probably in no small part because, as we see from how Gi-hun responds to winning, it is not easy to get past the extreme trauma of Squid Game. In-ho is so committed to his role as the Front Man that he shoots his own brother, when Joon-ho refuses to surrender to him. Joon-ho, who spent the entire season gathering evidence of Squid Game, falls to the water below, presumably to his death and presumably with all of the evidence he has gathered.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Who Runs Squid Game?

This is a complicated question because we don’t truly understand the scope of Squid Game. When Joon-ho infiltrates the records vault underneath the Front Man’s rooms, he finds evidence of years and years of games like the one we have been watching play out. Discussion amongst the VIPs also suggests that the game is being played in different locations around the world—this could mean that multiple games are happening simultaneously or that they happen throughout the year in different locations. We know from the labels on the (honestly very well organized) records that there are multiple games every year.

Logistically, the Front Man runs the game with the help of the workers, soldiers, and managers—aka the dudes in red coveralls. In the final episode, Oh Il-nam, aka Contestant 001, is revealed to be the Host of the game, and implied to be if not the person who runs the entire gambit, then one of the people who is in charge. He gives more of the game’s backstory from his deathbed…

Why Did Oh Il-nam Play Squid Game?

We find out in Squid Game‘s final episode that Oh Il-nam, the older man Gi-hun befriended in the arena and whom we all thought died in the marbles round, actually survived the Squid Game. This is because he is one of its creators. He chose to play the game after years of watching it because he had been diagnosed with a brain tumor that caused him to reflect on his life. As he tells an understandably very angry Gi-hun from his death bed a year following their Squid Game, he wanted to feel like he did when he was a kid, playing with his friends and losing track of the hours.

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This is pretty fucked up. To Il-nam, the game truly was a game: something to pass the time and make him feel alive when regular life wasn’t doing it for him. Of course, Il-nam wasn’t like any other player. When he lost to Gi-hun, he wasn’t killed. The Front Man may espouse the equality of the game, but it isn’t a fair competition—it’s rigged for the uber elite, just like the outside world. Il-nam’s survival proved that, if it wasn’t already obvious. His desperation wasn’t like the other player’s because he knew exactly what was going on and had an out, not only from the game but from the kinds of desperate situations that the other contestants found themselves in outside the arena.

When Il-nam is dying on Christmas Eve in the corner of a mostly barren office-tower floor, he tells Gi-hun that the very poor and the very rich are the same in that living is no fun for either. Somehow, Gi-hun doesn’t strangle him then and there. He also doesn’t strangle him when Il-nam reveals how Squid Game started: basically, Il-nam and his rich friends were bored and joyless, and decided to create the games as a way to have some fun. This legacy continues with the Squid Games of today, as demonstrated by the VIPs, a group of (seemingly mostly American) rich men who sip whiskey and tell jokes as they watch desperate people die in the game they bet on. To them, human life has lost all meaning, and, because they have an exorbitant amount of wealth (which is to say power), these are the rules others must also play by.

Gi-hun is extraordinary because he refuses to play by those rules. Il-nam tells him that he deserves the money, because that is the logic he and his ilk have lived under—as if anyone deserves the kind of immense privilege that must always be built on others’ exploitation and suffering—but Gi-hun refuses to spend it. Il-nam tells him that no one will stop for the man passed out on the side of the frozen road, and Gi-hun takes that bet. And he wins. What sets Squid Game apart from so many of the stories in this genre is its ability to balance the ruthlessness and injustice inherent in the premise with a stolid belief in the capacity for goodness. The system is rigged for people like Il-nam, who suffers no consequences for his actions. but there will always be people, like Gi-hun and the person who went to get the cops to help the man on the street, who care and who act on that caring.

No doubt this plot twist will be a divisive part of Squid Game discourse. Personally, I could have done without it. Gi-hun’s relationship with Il-nam is one of the best dynamics in the entire show, and one that underscores the series’ central theme of how important it is to value humanity, even when the system you live in does not. Episode 6, “Gganbu,” is the best hour of the entire season in no small part because of how Il-nam and Gi-hun’s contest to the apparent death plays out. To backtrack on that for a final-episode plot twist that doesn’t add much thematically to the story feels like a mistake. That being said, there is enough that works about this scene and episode for Squid Game to remain an overall rewarding watch.

Gong Yoo’s Cameo: Why Does Gi-Hun Change His Mind?

Il-nam’s deathbed confession seems to kickstart Gi-hun’s life. He dyes his hair red like a K-pop idol. He finds Sae-byeok’s brother and leaves the boy (and half of his winnings) with Sang-woo’s mother. Though it seems like Gi-hun intends to return to them following a trip to visit his daughter, who has moved with her mother and stepfather to Los Angeles, this all changes when Gi-un sees something on the subway: the same man (played by Train to Busan‘s Gong Yoo) who recruited him for Squid Game is playing ddakji with a man. Gi-Hun abandons his luggage and dashes to the platform where Gong Yoo’s salesman character is working to recruit another desperate soul. Gong Yoo has already boarded a train by the time Gi-Hun makes it to him, smiling through the glass door. All Gi-hun can do is grab the Squid Game calling card from the latest recruit, and command him not to play the game.

Or is it all Gi-hun can do? When he is on the airbridge to board his plane to LA, he takes out the calling card and dials the number, telling the voice on the other side: “Listen carefully. I’m not a horse. I’m a person. That’s why I want to know who you people are, and how you can do these horrible things to people … It wasn’t a dream. I can’t forgive you for everything you’re doing.” Like the person who stopped to help the man on the street, Gi-hun refuses to accept the status quo, if there is anything at all he can do about it. He has wealth now and, rather than accepting complicity in a horrifying system as a condition of that power, he is risking it all. He is stopping for the man on the street.

The post Squid Game Ending Explained appeared first on Den of Geek.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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ateezmakemeweep · 4 years

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could you please do a mafia reaction of finding out that the girl they have a crush on is leading a mafia? thank you!

❥ kim hongjoong

hongjoong knew the second he met you that you were strong, watching as you elbowed a guy right in the face who tried to grab you outside the sleazy looking bar. it’s what first drew him to you, what made him approach you later that night and confess that even though you scared the shit out of him, he liked you.

you couldn’t help but laugh at him, throwing a smirk his way as you wrote your number on a piece of paper and stuck it in the pocket of his shirt. date number one turned in to date number four and when you so casually mentioned what you do for work, his eyes nearly bulged out of his head.

“are-are you even allowed to tell me that?” he stuttered, a melodic laugh leaving your mouth that scared him as much as it intrigued him; drew him in like he just knew he was more than willing to allow you to ruin him if that’s what you wanted to do.

“something tells me you’re not gonna tell anyone.” your foot ran along the expanse of his leg, swirling your tongue around the straw as you watched an amused, almost proud smile cross his face.

❥ park seonghwa

“i don’t like it, y/n.”

the second seonghwa found out you were leading a mafia, the change in him was immediate. he was overprotective by normal standards, just in day to day life whether it be making sure you were wearing your seatbelt or texting him when you got home safely at night.

but this. knowing you were out in the world fighting and conniving and meeting with dangerous people? he couldn’t stand it. he said he would never let you out of his sight again, that he’d accompany you on any and all missions to ensure your safety; and even when you told him the wasn’t necessary, the stubborn boy shook his head and narrowed his eyes at you.

you thought it was cute that he thought he had a say in the matter, though, pushing him backward until his knees hit the back of the chair. he looked up at you with a wide eyed expression, his adams apple bobbing as you straddled his lap and ran your finger over his lips.

“well you better start to,” you whispered in his ear, your breath fanning across his skin as you arch your back and press yourself against him. “because you don’t really have a choice, do you?”

❥ jeong yunho

“i’m telling you, she’s into some crazy shit,” mingi tells him, the two giant boys watching you from the car. you had went in to pick up the chicken order, $100 in hand as you fearlessly walked in the store.

“what are you talking about?” yunho asked, shaking his head at his friend’s nonsense. he knows he’s had a crush on you for weeks, insisting that while you’re pretty and nice there's also something… mysterious about you. the way you carry yourself and always look so constantly on edge. like you’re about ready to-

“what the fuck!”

mingi and yunho jump out of the car when they see the commotion through the windows, a man probably taller than them jumping away from you and over the seat of a table. but you’re quick to grab him by the back of the shirt and flip him over your shoulder, his back on the floor as your boot-covered foot press down on his neck.

they walk in and hear you on the phone, your voice commanding that the target was found and to get here immediately. your eyes widen when you see the two boys staring at you, a small smile replacing your face before you casually hold up the bag of chicken.

“i got it!” you smile, your sing song voice such a horrifying contrast to the way your high heel is digging into a man’s neck.

❥ kang yeosang

you and yeosang couldn’t be more different, even down to the way you like your coffee and what ice cream flavors you like. you’d been drawn to him because he was shy and withdrawn and he admired you because you were confident and outgoing. it took him two weeks just to to gain the courage to smile at you, every time he caught your gaze looking away in embarrassment.

“i think i should probably tell you what i do,” you told him one night, your legs sprawled out across his lap as you toy with his fingers.

he didn’t even understand it at first, his head cocked to the side as he nodded his head in confusion. but it wasn’t until he saw you in action that he really understood, your body hunched over the desk as you screamed into the phone about a particular job. his eyes widened when he sees you tuck a gun in the back of your tight jeans, wondering where the hell the weapon had even came from.

“what the- y/n, where did you get-”

“i’ll be back in a bit,” you tell him, walking over and pressing up on your toes to peck his lips. it was the first time you kissed him and he couldn’t even dwell on that fact, all too distracted and concerned by the way you sauntered out of the room with a determined, powerful stride.

❥ choi san

he was always curious about the girl he’d see in the gym, your figure small and face kind but the way you worked out and lifted the bar above your head impressive. he tried not to stare, hating to be that creepy guy in the gym but not being able to help but admire your stamina and work ethic.

but it was when he saw you through the glass at a kickboxing class that he knew he had to talk to, almost as petrified as he was impressed because you really look like you could beat the shit out of someone.

“i was honestly scared of you,” san told you a few months later over coffee, your head thrown back in laughter as you smirk at him. “good,” you tell him with a sweet, teasing smile. “you should be.”

he had laughed and took your words as a joke, his heart fluttering the more you talk and laugh with him. but then a few weeks later when he found out you were in fact someone to be scared of, something so sweet and pretty wrapped up in mafia business, as a leader no less, he almost couldn’t believe it.

“you…weren’t kidding,” he stuttered out, “i should be scared of you.” but you couldn’t help but smile up at the sweet boy you’ve come to really like after these past few months, wrapping your arms around his neck as you cock your head to the side at him.

“only if you fuck with me.”

❥ song mingi

you hadn’t met for him to find out this way. you wanted to ease him in to it, knowing that even though your friend turned crush was big and looming and looked threatening, he was anything but; at a first glance, you thought he’d be a great addition to your team. but then you saw just how much he cuddled into people, how he couldn’t even watch a scary movie or go through a cheesy haunted house without screaming.

so seeing you outside your house, two bloodied men at your feet with a knife steady in your hand, you thought for sure he was gonna pass out.

“y/n….y/n, what the…did you do that…i-“

“mingi, it’s okay,” you tell him softly, like you’re talking to a child who just walked in on there favorite animal who got ripped up by the family dog. “they were bad people. i had to do this.”

he watches you with slight fear in his eyes, watching as you bend down and use the man’s shirt to wipe the blood off the knife. the sight only makes him ready to vomit, in disbelief that you, the girl who giggles with him under the blanket as your cold feet tangle, are so callously using a dead men’s shirt to clean off his own blood.

“what? don’t tell me you’re scared of me now.”

❥ jung wooyoung

you had done countless things to get wooyoung to shut his mouth in the months you’ve known him. covering his ace with your hand, offering to pay him $5 to not talk through one single thirty minute episode, bribing him with food and dessert and anything edible in the house really.

but when he found out from another loud mouthed friend of his that you were the leader of a mafia, you’d never seen the boy so quiet. he didn’t necessarily look scared or upset, just…curious.

“so you like…kill people?”

you chuckle at the question, walking over to him and plopping down on his lap the way you’ve done many times before. “bad people. people who deserve it.” he hums thoughtfully a your answer, his arms circling around your hips hesitantly as he takes in this information.

“and sometimes,” he hears you say suddenly, puling his shirt down and smirking against his ear. “people who never know when to shut their mouth. but they’re only in excruciating pain for a few weeks, i would never kill them.”

he moves his head back to look at you, not being able to tell if the teasing in your eyes and voice is a complete joke or not; so he thinks that maybe, the next time you ask him to stay quiet during your show, he’ll find that the television is extremely interesting and warrants all of his attention.

❥ choi jongho

the boy didn’t know who he worked for.

he just knew they were powerful, extremely cunning and someone no one wanted to mess with. but he saw you come out of the vip office several times as he stood guard outside, greeting each other with soft smiles before you eventually started to talk.

it was small talk really, just about weekend plans and the weather and coworkers but it was enough for him to grow a tiny crush on you. he wondered what your purpose here was, looking far too sweet and unassuming to be associated with this shady place.

“you better be careful,” one of his co-workers said. he had been watching you and jongho grow closer each week, his happy smile and kind, round eyes softening every single time he saw you.

“what do you mean?”

and when the man started to laugh, jongho became even more confused. be careful of you? of forming a crush on a coworker? of mixing business and pleasure?

“you really don’t know who that is?” the man asked, both of their heads craning over to you on the phone, a sadistic smirk on your face as you roll your eyes at whoever’s talking on the phone. “her crazy ass is probably putting a hit out right now, she’s the leader of this shit.”

jongho nearly fell on his ass at this information, your eyes meeting his and eyebrows raising up. “surprised?” you mouth, the boy’s eyes widening and heart racing because he did not expect that.

#💌#request #ateez #ateez reactions

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not-majestic-bluenicorn · 4 years

Text

Crescent || Chapter 6

Fandom(s): ATEEZ

AU: Treasure Hunters

Genre: Action, Fantasy, Sci-Fi

Relationship: Everyone x Everyone, Established Hongjoong x Yunho

Language: English

Status: Ongoing

Chapter WC: 3,455 words

Warnings: Character Death, Stabbing, Fighting, Blood, Aliens, War, Funerals, Kidnapping, Attempted Kidnapping, Mentions of Child Abuse / Child Work, Explosions, Murder Attempt, Robbery, Homeless/Runaway Character, more will be added.

Chapter Warnings: Robbery, Homeless/Runaway Character, Mentions of Abuse

Summary:

"Hey can I ask you a favor?" Yunho raised an eyebrow at Yeosang's question.

"I don't think you're in any position to be asking favors." Yunho scoffed, but paid attention anyway.

"Would you consider not handing me in?" Yeosang knew that was to ask a lot, but he might as well try.

"You have no shame, do you?" Yunho had to laugh, slightly taken aback by the bold question.

"Shame can only draw you back, and I try to only go forward." Yeosang shrugged, it was worth the attempt.

AO3

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Tagged: @angel0taiyo

San had left Jongho with Yeosang at the main deck while he left to explain the situation to Hwanwoong, who was in charge at the moment. The crew was just sort of staring at him while they focused on their own stuff, and Yeosang felt like a circus attraction. Of course, none of the normal crew members had expected something like that to happen. The soldiers, on the other hand, were all on high alert thinking maybe someone had figured out their true identities.

Jongho noticed none of this as he kept a close eye on Yeosang, observing him with curiosity as Yeosang sighed repeatedly, letting him know he was not very happy with this situation. He was sitting on the floor of the deck, hands tied behind his back being crushed by his back as he leaned on the rail of the deck. It was uncomfortable. Plus, he really just didn't want to be tied up like that.

"So... Why our ship?" Jongho asked finally, tired of only observing Yeosang as if he could get the information through some sort of telepathy.

"It's a very expensive model, only someone with fortune and power would be able to acquire it," Yeosang explained, not even looking at Jongho. His voice held a hint of annoyance. "Plus it looks brand new, either it is new or they pay a lot for maintenance."

Jongho hummed in agreement. He had also thought something similar when he had first seen the ship he would be working on. He had spent his whole life near ships, repairing them and building them, so he could recognize an expensive ship when he saw one. The difference was that he was not looking to steal anything when he first boarded it, and hadn't even thought much about who Captain Hongjoong was.

"And why are you stealing?" Jongho asked again.

"There are only two reasons why someone steals, they are either in need or they covet something, which one do you think I fall on?" Yeosang scoffed, getting a little on edge by the questions. Jongho didn't seem to be fazed.

"I'd say the first one," Jongho replied after thinking it over for a few seconds. Yeosang's eyes widened slightly and Jongho noticed. "Well, you felt a little weak when I was restraining you before, have you been eating properly? Plus... You don't look like a bad person." Jongho shrugged.

Yeosang stared at him for a few seconds before sighing and looking away. It was embarrassing, how a complete stranger could look straight through him and still be kind despite what he had tried to do. Truth be told, Yeosang didn't like stealing that much, he was just desperate. Sure, there was a certain thrill to it that he appreciated, but there were surely other better ways to feel like that, right? He just needed to get out of that planet.

"Will you tell me your name?" Jongho asked again. His voice was soft, like he had realized the change in Yeosang's demeanor.

"Kang Yeosang," Yeosang replied, voice small.

At that moment, Hongjoon, Yunho and Siyeon returned to the ship. Hwanwoong reported to them immediately, summarizing what San had told him about the situation. Hongjoong cursed under his breath and locked eyes on the prisoner, approaching him without hesitation. Jongho looked away as he did, he had never seen the Captain so serious and threatening.

As soon as he was close enough, Hongjoong grabbed Yeosang by the collar and hoisted him up, causing him to yelp. Jongho gasped next to him, this being the first time he saw his captain do anything remotely aggressive. Yeosang coughed slightly and looked at Hongjoong with a defying glare, not willing to back down even with his hands tied behind his back.

"Who else was with you?" Hongjoong asked, not wasting time.

"Other homeless people, I don't really know their names." Yeosang replied, voice hard and steady. The glint of something in Hongjoong's eyes when he said the word homeless didn't escape his eyes.

"How many came into this ship?" Hongjoong asked next.

"Only me." Yeosang didn't dare look away. Hongjoong did, however, as he confirmed this answer with the rest of the crew, who had already checked the ship for other potential stowaways.

"Did you take anything?" Hongjoong looked back at Yeosang, who still didn't seem to want to back down.

"He didn't." Jongho spoke this time, surprising both Yeosang and Hongjoong. "We found him shortly after he got in through the propellers' maintenance door, he couldn't have gone anywhere before we found him."

Hongjoong looked Yeosang in the eye, looking for something that would give him away as something more than a petty attempt of a burglar. When he didn't find it, he let go of his collar and turned to walk away. Yunho stopped him, if only to ask him for permission to conduct his own little interrogation.

"Just don't be too hard on him," Hongjoong warned, walking back to his quarters to discuss with Siyeon and San what to do about the fuel.

Despite the warning, Yunho took Yeosang to the hold, the most isolated area of the ship. They didn't really have any shipment of importance, and instead stored their non-perishable supplies there. He sat Yeosang down on a simple wooden share and then sat in front of him, face void of expression. Yeosang observed his surroundings and took a mental note on how no one would hear him scream if he did.

"What is your full name?" Yunho began with a simple question.

"Kang Yeosang." He answered easily. It didn't matter if he tried to keep his identity secret since he had already told Jongho anyway.

"Were you born here?" Yunho was testing him, seeing how much he was willing to share.

"Yes, I've lived here my whole life." Yeosang wasn't going to back down easily, though. He had walked into the wolves' den and he was going to own it up. If he got intimidated at that point, then what did that make him?

"Family?"

"Only my mother," Yeosang tensed up, this was crossing a territory he didn't like. "I don't see how that matters, though."

"Does she know you've become a wanted burglar?" Yunho raised an eyebrow. "Kang Yeosang, I heard your name whispered around the streets earlier."

"I don't think she would care if she knew." Yeosang scoffed. It was true, his mother probably wouldn't care. She had never cared about anyone else but his father, even though Yeosang had tried to be there for her even when his father had left. It hurt, but it was the truth. "Don't try to pull the 'your mother would be so disappointed if she knew' card, it won't work on me."

"Oh, I wasn't going to," Yunho chuckled. "Let's be real, that rarely ever works."

"Then why are you asking?" Yeosang was growing exasperated. The questioning seemed to be going nowhere and it was so slow he felt like losing his mind.

"I have my reasons," Yunho shrugged. "I want to know who I'm going to turn with the guards before I do so."

Yeosang seemed to freeze at this, his mask of bravery falling apart for a few seconds before his surprised expression turned into one of rage. He wasn't stupid, of course he had suspected they would turn him in with the police, but they had kept him around for so long he had started hoping that wouldn't happen. Yunho seemed slightly surprised at the change in his demeanor.

"Why are you so angry?" Yunho asked. "You're the one who tried to steal from us, it is only fair."

Yeosang closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The man in front of him was right. It was only reasonable that they turned him in, the guards had been looking for him anyway, but he couldn't help but feel angry. The other homeless people had been right, he had been crazy for trying to get into a ship that wasn't even a part of their original plans. He had been ambitious, but beyond that, he had been a fool for following his instincts.

"Not gonna answer that? Fair enough." Yunho clicked his tongue. "Why The Crescent, why this ship?"

"'Cuz I felt like stealing from this ship, okay?" Yeosang bit back, too pissed to even care about being proper. "I already told the Jongho guy that only someone rich and with power could afford a ship like this, especially one so new or so well maintained."

"So you have no idea who is on board his ship?" Yunho pressed further. Yeosang would have thought it was weird if he wasn't too mad at himself for his stupidity.

"If I knew I wouldn't be here would I? Everyone here is too well trained to be a good target of a simple burglar like me." Yeosang groaned, remembering how San had stood in front of him, posture perfect and calculated. "Pretty sure that San guy would have killed me if Jongho hadn't stopped him."

Yeosang raised his head, showing Yunho the faint trace of blood on it that had formed after the encounter with San. He could feel the dry blood uncomfortably clinging to his skin, but tried to not think too much about it. Yunho observed it with sharp eyes before nodding. He was a little bit surprised about San; he was cold, sure, but he had never exhibited knowledge on sword fighting. He would have to ask him about it later.

"Then you're nothing but a petty burglar caught in the act, got it." Yunho seemed satisfied with his answers and stood up to leave.

"Ouch," Yeosang chuckled, the insult getting to him a bit. "Hey can I ask you a favor?" Yunho raised an eyebrow.

"I don't think you're in any position to be asking favors." Yunho scoffed, but paid attention anyway.

"Would you consider not handing me in?" Yeosang knew that was to ask a lot, but he might as well try.

"You have no shame, do you?" Yunho had to laugh, slightly taken aback by the bold question.

"Shame can only draw you back, and I try to only go forward." Yeosang shrugged, immediately wincing slightly. His arms were starting to get numb from having them tied behind his back for so long.

"I'll send someone to look over you," Yunho replied instead, leaving the room.

Only after Yunho left, did the name of the ship sink into Yeosang's mind, making him gasp. What was going on?

Yunho went to join Hongjoong and the rest at the quarters after asking Mingi to look over Yeosang while he informed their Captain about it. When he arrived, it seemed like the issue regarding the fuel had been solved already, as Siyeon was taking Hwanwoong with her to go negotiate for it. Hongjoong briefed him about it, explaining to him that they had opted to buy enough to go to another planet and then refilling the tank completely over there.

"How did the questioning go? You didn't do anything to him, did you?" Hongjoong asked. His tone was a bit playful but Yunho could tell he was tense.

"I didn't do anything more to him than San or Jongho did." Yunho raised his hands defensively, excusing himself.

"San and Jongho?" Hongjoong raised an eyebrow, slightly worried. Only he would worry about the health of a burglar trying to steal from his very own ship.

"Yes, apparently San prickled him with the tip of his sword, there was a little bit of blood, but nothing much." Yunho explained simply, hoping the lighthearted tone would help calm him.

"San? That's unexpected..." Hongjoong mumbled.

"I agree, he does look scary sometimes but he still doesn't seem the type to do something like that." Yunho shrugged. "Anyway, we should go hand him over to the guards."

"Not yet," Hongjoong shook his head.

"What? Why not?" Yunho was surprised, he had thought they would be done with this quickly.

"I'm just not sure about it yet..." Hongjoong's voice grew quiet, like he was trying to hide something, but Yunho knew him too well.

"You're worried about his homeless status, right?" Yunho sighed. "Hongjoong, he tried to steal from you, that's a crime-"

"He tried to steal from me because he has the need to, which is very different!" Hongjoong protested, not willing to back down. "And who created that need? My family, Yunho."

"I understand where you are going, but I don't think this is where your sympathy should be going to..." Yunho's voice was soft, placating, he didn't want to anger Hongjoong.

"To whom should it go then? He's my people, and I don't feel comfortable turning him in when it is partially my fault that this happened in the first place." Hongjoong crossed his arms over his chest and Yunho groaned.

He knew Hongjoong was right and it exasperated him, because it would be far easier to just turn Yeosang in and keep Hongjoong safe like that. What if Yeosang wasn't who he said he was? What if he was trying to bring them harm? But Hongjoong didn't like to go the easy way, he liked to do what was right, like his brother had taught him, and even though it was obnoxious at times, Yunho loved him for it.

"Fine," Yunho conceded, sighing. "What will you do then?"

"I don't know yet, but I'll figure it out." Hongjoong smiled, walking over to hug Yunho. "Thank you, I love you."

"I love you too."

Wooyoung had spent most of that day going in and out of consciousness, trying to figure out what time it was wherever the crew was at the moment to see if he could catch them in their dreams. He hadn't managed to meet with anyone so far, but sleeping with the necklace provided an interesting experience. He had his first prophetic dream again, but this time with way more clarity and details.

He prepared to fall asleep again. He wasn't even tired, but eating dinner had helped make him feel sleepy. Plus, trusting himself to the necklace actually helped, almost like it lured him to sleep by itself. Wooyoung settled under the covers and closed his eyes. His breathing slowed down little by little, until eventually he couldn't hold any clear thoughts in his mind. The last thing he thought of before waking up in the dream realm was Yeosang.

When he opened his eyes, Wooyoung found himself in an old house. It was made of wood, and the floor creaked slightly when he began walking. At first, there was only the sound of his steps and of water flowing outside the home. He peaked through a window and found himself in a little town built around canals and with buildings so tall they covered most of the sky from where he was.

As he went further into the house, he noticed the sound of crying. The voice was high-pitched, but the crying itself was subdued and constant. When he tried to find where the crying was coming from, he heard Yeosang's voice speak to the crying person, trying to calm them down. Soon Wooyoung realized that the crying was coming from Yeosang's mother. He followed the voices until he was right outside of the room, observing.

"Mom, it's alright," Yeosang repeated, trying to get his mother to stand up from the floor. "Stop drinking, and stop crying about dad, it's not worth i-"

He was silenced by a slap. Wooyoung gasped, covering his mouth with both hands. Yeosang looked at him briefly but didn't say anything. The sound of the slap had been so deafening that for a second he hadn't been able to hear anything else but the echo of it. Yeosang's right cheek turned red almost immediately, resenting the hit, and in his eyes Wooyoung could see a mix of anger and sadness.

"Mom-" He began again, but the woman just wailed harder, hitting him on the chest repeatedly. "Mom, stop it."

But the woman just wouldn't stop. Sighing, Yeosang grabbed her arms and pulled her up delicately, hugging her tightly until she stopped trying to resist and just cried herself to exhaustion. When she was done, Yeosang guided her to her room and then returned to where Wooyoung was, still frozen on the frame of the door.

"So this is a dream?" Yeosang asked. His right cheek had begun to swell, and Wooyoung couldn't stop looking at it.

"Yes..." Wooyoung nodded. Seeing Yeosang like this, when in his previous dream he had been so confident, hurt him.

"That's good, it would be a shame to discover I didn't have the courage to leave..." Yeosang sighed, approaching Wooyoung, who looked shaken. "I'm okay, it's just a dream, silly." He smiled, but Wooyoung shook his head.

"Can I...?" He extended his hand towards Yeosang's cheek, who looked at him with curiosity, but nodded anyway.

Wooyoung placed his hand softly on Yeosang's cheek. The latter winced slightly upon the contact and closed his eyes, but Wooyoung shushed him softly as he focused on altering Yeosang's dream self, reducing the swelling until it was no more. He was so focused on tending to Yeosang that he didn't realize when the other opened his eyes and openly stared at him until their eyes locked.

"Ah, sorry." Wooyoung went to pull his hand away, but Yeosang grabbed his wrist and stopped him.

"It's okay, your hand feels really cool," Yeosang nuzzled his cheek against Wooyoung's hand, closing his eyes and sighing in relief. "Thank you."

"It's nothing..." Wooyoung mumbled, eyes trained on Yeosang.

A few minutes later, Yeosang had guided him outside of the house and had invited Wooyoung to sit next to him on the little deck they had outside the house, feet dangling over the water. They stayed in silence for a moment. Wooyoung focused on taking in the image of Yeosang's hometown, curiosity filling him as he wondered where Yeosang was from and how the place he had grown up in was like. As he wondered all of this in silence, Yeosang spoke.

"I found the ship you showed me," his voice was small, like he was unsure. "At least I think I did..."

"Really?" Wooyoung's voice came out louder than he had intended, a product of his excitement.

"Yes, The Crescent, they're anchored at my town right now..." Yeosang explained, but Wooyoung sensed something was wrong.

"But...?"

"But I am not on good terms with them...?" Yeosang chuckled, he was uncomfortable.

"How so? Have you met the crew before?" Wooyoung asked, turning to face him. Yeosang mumbled something but he couldn't catch it. "What was that?" Yeosang sighed.

"I tried to steal from their ship." Yeosang repeated, loud and clear this time.

"Oh..." Wooyoung said. "That is not what I was expecting."

"I can see that..." Yeosang groaned.

"Why?"

"Just because?" He didn't want to explain his reasoning all over again, especially not to Wooyoung, who probably had already a bad impression of him. "I didn't know it was the ship you told me to look for at first, I probably wouldn't have done that if I had known."

"Probably?" Wooyoung raised his eyebrows, and Yeosang winced. "Where are you right now?"

"In their hold, sleeping with my hands tied to my back..." Yeosang explained, and Wooyoung looked horrified. This was not how he expected his future boyfriends to treat each other. "It's not too bad, really, they've been really kind. The guy they left me with, Mingi, is quite sweet." Yeosang smiled, shrugging it off.

"And what will they do with you?" Wooyoung asked, hurried.

"Probably hand me over to the guards, I'll be prosecuted under charges of serial robbery and get out in a few years, maybe." Yeosang listed.

"Serial robbery?!" Wooyoung yelled this time, surprising Yeosang.

"I'm... sorry?" Yeosang looked sheepish, like he was genuinely sorry but didn't know how to properly apologize or react.

"You better be," Wooyoung stood up, grabbing his necklace.

"What are you doing?" Yeosang stood up right after him, slightly panicked.

"Well, the omen or whatever won't work if you're in jail, so I'm going to get your freedom back." Wooyoung huffed, focusing all of his attention on the necklace.

"H-How? You're just a dream? A figment of my imagination?" Yeosang asked, genuinely confused. Wooyoung glared at him and he immediately shut up, only then realizing Wooyoung was probably more than 'just a dream'.

"I'm gonna go see the captain of the ship." Wooyoung stated. His mind focused on Hongjoong, on his name and his face, on what Wooyoung had felt the first time he had dreamed about him.

"What?" Yeosang tried to ask, but Wooyoung was already gone.

#kwritersworldnet #kdiarynet #8makes1teamnet #kpopscape #ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez fanfiction #atz #kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop fic #kpop fanfiction #crescent #bluenicorn writes

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latteunwoo · 6 years

Text

12 Days of Christmas || Goodbye Winter

↪ au in which young k is back in toronto for a few days and a walk down memory lane brings back memories he’d wish he would forget. however, could a surprise encounter change his mind about whether or not he really wants to forget about it?

pairing: day6!young k x reader

genre: fluff; angst

A/N: This AU is inspired by DAY6′s song “Goodbye Winter”. Do note that most of the content are not real/accurate because this is an AU (Alternate Universe). P.S. I know this is going to be really sad but it’s been in my drafts for a long time and it’s sort of winter themed so I thought why not? This might really suck but I really tried my best. Hope you all enjoy!

Day6 had just finished their show in Toronto and their managers had given them the opportunity to spend a few days off before they headed to the States to finish the rest of their North American tour. This gave Young K the perfect opportunity to take a walk down memory lane.

On the first day of their break, after he had met up with a few of his friends, Young K went for a walk around his old high school. It was nice being able to walk around and think back on all the memories he’s made there. However, there’s always that one memory he’d wish he could forget.

// flashback //

It was Young K’s last year of high school and like all teenagers who have reached this stage in their lives, he wanted to make the most of it. All he wanted to do was go to school, hang out with his friends, work on his band, and just have a good time without anything interrupting or changing his plan.

However, that’s not what life had in store for him. A few minutes into his second period class, their principal came in with an unfamiliar girl walking behind him.

“Good morning, everyone,” the principal said as the whole class greeted him back, “I would like you all to meet Y/N Y/L/N. She just moved here so she’s new to this school and the area. I hope you all treat her kindly with respect as you do with each other.”

As soon as the principal left, the teacher turned the documentary back on and everyone went back to whatever they were doing before. Young K, however, couldn’t help but watch as the new girl went to the teacher to talk about the class. He then froze when the teacher pointed at the empty seat next to him and both his and the new girl’s eyes met. The new girl nodded and headed over to the seat as Young K quickly pretended to take notes on the documentary.

“Hey, I’m Y/N,” the girl whispered as he looked up to see her holding a hand out to him. Wow, she’s even prettier up close, he thought as he quickly snapped out of it.

“I’m Young Hyun, but everyone just calls me Brian,” he said as he shook her hand.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Brian,” Y/N said she she smiled at him and he couldn’t help but feel his heart race a little faster.

“Yeah, you too,” he said as he smiled back and they both went on to do this own thing for the rest of the class period.

After the bell had rung and it was time to their nutrition break, Young K slung his backpack over his shoulder and was about to leave the classroom but felt a hand pull him back.

“I hope it’s not too much to ask, but do you think you could help me find my next class? They gave me a map of the campus but it’s still a bit hard trying to find the correct room numbers,” Y/N asked as she held out her schedule.

“Yeah, of course,” Young K looked over her schedule and noticed that she had the exact same classes as him, “Well, I guess you’ll just be following me all day. We have the same classes.”

“Oh, okay. Great! I’m really sorry if it’s a bother to you-”

“No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

The two of them walked out of the classroom and Brian went to his group of friends to introduce Y/N to them before they headed over to their next class. For the rest of the day was pretty nice and Y/N found herself to easily settle into the new school.

Days turned into weeks and before Young K knew it, he had completely fallen completely in love with Y/N. It took a while for him to finally admit it to his friends, but as soon as he did it was easier for him to admit it to Y/N.

It was a day before they were off to go on their senior winter ski trip and Young K had decided that he was finally going to tell her. Y/N had asked him to come over to her house to help her pack for the trip and while she kept asking him if what she had picked out would be good enough for the trip, he couldn’t help but become more and more nervous as time went by.

Finally he snapped out of it and said, “I like you.”

Y/N turned around and let of a small laugh as Young K felt his heart drop to his stomach, “I know. We’re friends. How could you not like me?”

“T-that’s not what I meant.”

“Oh,” Y/N said as she realized what this situation was. Although she had never been in this type of situation, she knew how the situation would look and feel like from her older sister’s stories about her suitors.

“I know it’s only been less than four months, but I am certain that I have truly fallen in love with you and it’s been killing me trying to hold it in. If you don’t feel the same way, it’s fine I understand. I just-”

“I like you too.”

“I know, I know. As a fr-”

“No. I actually really do like you.”

“Like, like me like me?”

Y/N let out another small laugh before nodding her head. Young K instantly stood up from his spot on the floor and engulfed her in a big hug. The next day was officially the start of their relationship. It was also the first day of the memories he wish he could forget.

Their relationship was perfect. They never had any fights or arguments. Both of them treated each other and their families with the same amount of respect. Y/N’s parents adored Young K and his parents were also so in love with Y/N. They didn’t have to talk to text every single day to ensure the other that they loved them. It was like there was nothing that could possibly ruin their relationship with each other.

But of course, like all couples, they faced a downfall in their relationship. Young K was currently doing some small gigs with his band and had gotten more forgetful. The first few times he had forgotten one of their planned dates, Y/N understood that it was because he was so busy with his band. Although Young K wanted to be a basketball player he also really loved music a lot and Y/N knew that he could go somewhere with this one day. However, after he had kept forgetting about their dates or even forgetting to give her a small update about how he’s doing, it started to bother Y/N more.

When they finally got to have some time together, both had some news that they had hoped the other would like. What they didn’t know was that what they’re about to tell each other could change the future of the relationship.

“Hey, I have something to tell you!” Both of them said at the same time, but in different tones.

“You go first,” Y/N said as she softly smiled at him.

Young K noticed something seemed a bit off, “No. You go first. Is everything okay?”

“I love you. I really do. But I don’t think this is going to work.”

“Y/N.”

“I already know what you’re going to tell me. Your mom told me earlier. You’re going to audition for JYP Entertainment and I know you’re going to get in. You do know, it’s going to be very difficult for us to be able to stay together. Sure we can wait or keep our relationship a secret, but over time we’re going to meet new people and if you do find someone I-”

“Don’t say it. Y/N, you don’t have to do this. I love you. And even if I have to wait years, I’m willing to wait just for you.”

“I just don’t want you to feel obligated to.”

“There’s someone else, isn’t there?”

“What? No. Brian-”

“If there’s no one then why are you so eager to end this relationship?”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt if you wait that long only to find out I’m not here anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know I should’ve told you this before, but I have a heart condition and I don’t know if I’ll get better soon.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to worry. I just wanted to enjoy the moments I have with you while I can. So, please. Let’s just end this and get on with our lives. I love you and I appreciated every moment we’ve spent. If this is the last time we’ll see each other, just know that I just want you to be happy.”

And with that came a really cold winter for the both of them. After Young K passed his audition for JYP Entertainment, he moved back to South Korea to become a trainee. Y/N on other hand had moved to London with her older sister because they had found a doctor that could possibly help Y/N get better.

// end of flashback //

Young K found himself sitting on a bench in front of a coffee shop near his old high school when someone sat down on the other end of it and he had this strange feeling inside of him. He looked over to see someone he had wanted to see again but also wish he hadn’t.

“Y/N?” he said almost too inaudible for the female to hear.

The girl turned her head to meet eyes with him, “Brian?”

“It’s you,” he said as he noticed she looked a lot different, “You look different. A lot healthier. A-and you cut your hair.”

“Yeah, I thought short hair would make me feel a bit lighter.”

“You also have an accent, I see.”

“Me and my sister moved to London a few months after you left. We found a doctor who was able to help me get better.”

“That’s good. What are you doing here though?”

“We’re visiting our parents for a few days. They’re still setting up for our annual Christmas party so I decided to take a quick walk. Are you going?”

“Where?”

Y/N let out a small laugh, “I see you can be very forgetful. Your parents always go to our Christmas party. Did they not tell you about it?”

“I think they have, but I just forgot about it.”

“Well, it’s tonight. You should come. And bring your band members too.”

“Yeah, I’ll tell them. Wait, how did you-”

“As weird as it may sound, I have been keeping myself updated about you, Mr. Brian Kang.”

“It’s Young K, now.”

“Well, Young K, I’ll see you at the party,” Y/N said as she got up from her spot and started walking toward their neighborhood, “By the way, you did very well at the concert yesterday.”

“You-” before he could finish his sentence, she was already halfway down the street. It really warmed his heart to know that she still cared for him.

The End.

#day6 au #day6 #day6 jae #day6 dowoon #day6 young k #day6 younghyun #day6 wonpil #day6 sungjin #day6 imagine #day6 fluff #day6 angst #kpop au #kpop angst #12 days of aus

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kdramafacination · 6 years

Text

So. dramafever shutting down still has me worried about other drama sites closing, but I can’t let that rob me of my love for my dramas.

I started watching 2007′s “Que Sera Sera“ a few nights ago. I’ve had it on my queue for a long time, but the reviews on dramafever worried me enough to keep me from actually starting it. After dramafever‘s disappearing act I went somewhere else and saw the drama available there. I started reading reviews and saw that there were a couple that said Que Sera Sera wasn’t that heavy. I love Eric Mun, and since I had waited and waited to watch this drama, that review was all I needed to launch me into watching it. I finished it last night and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. I’m a sucker for melodramas. I always intend to watch something lighter but my true self steers me towards melodramas like magnet to metal.

This drama sort of nearly killed me. I DID love it.

I meant to take screenshots of every episode but didn’t because I was WATCHING it too much to be able to do that.

Eric Mun and Jung yu-mi shine in their acting. Lee kyu-han and Yoon ji-hye are just as good in their second male lead and female lead parts, and the rest of the cast is good. I hesitate to use the terms “second leads“ though, because this is a multilayered (and yet very up front one dimensional) drama. But really there is never any doubt who the main players are regarding love, with a capital L. Eric Mun, as Kang Tae-joo is slick, yet rough, and when we first meet him and over the next few episodes, he (shouldn’t be) isn’t likeable. But of course this is a drama, and one of the main reasons I love and watch them is so I can like male leads I shouldn't like. 🙂

I liked Han Eun-soo, the female lead. She was sweet and thoughtful and innocent without being irritating, and she was a little odd which is always endearing. I think Jung yu-mi played the part perfectly.

Cha hye-rin (second female lead, if you will) is played brilliantly by Yoon ji-hye. I felt sorry for her because of her would be relationship with her step brother, and I also wanted her to stop all the damage she was causing to herself because of that love. I felt her hurt and anger and the fact that she couldn’t control things. She really excelled at showing her panic and hurt and anger. When the time finally came for Kang Tae-joo to tell her “lets just stop while we can" it felt like she WAS the character she was portraying.

Han Eun-soo’s feelings for Kang tae-joo at the beginning are tangible and convincing, going from serious crush to love, and that never changes. At one point early on, she says to him brokenly that she “is filled with him to her fingertips” and you can see how badly she’s fallen for him even though he’s the way he is.

Joon-hyuk started out by gaining my sympathy as the adopted son, and stepbrother to Hye-rin, a stepsister and stepbrother who are in love, but can’t be together because the parents don't approve. But he also made me angry for not being willing to be as strong as Hye-rin, and throw his fears and greed away and go for it. In the end I disliked him yet still felt badly (a little) for him. But I liked the kind Joon-hyuk from earlier in the drama far more than the sarcastic scheming one later on.

Even though Hye-rin is strong and strong willed enough to defy her parents (and friends and the public’s) with their disapproval, Joon-hyuk is not. When he repeatedly tells her that there is no hope, she turns to Tae Joo and asks him to be her fiancée. She knows his past, knows he’s pretty much a gigolo, or at least willing to date for some perks. Usually fast cars, watches, vacations, you get the picture. But he doesn’t agree, he’s pretty choosy and doesn’t like messy entanglements, plus he has no desire to sleep with her. Already here I think, the seeds of Eun-soo love are growing, but because of added glitz to Hye-Rin's offer, and his own nature, in the end he does agree, and they embark on a scheme to fool everyone around Hye-rin, especially her family, and especailly the man (Joon-hyuk) who she really loves. Hye-rin hopes her fake fiancée will make her family stop trying to marry her off and that her fake engagement will get her some peace from forced arranged dates, but her parents do not like Tae-joo although her father admires his ability to reign Hye-rin in. What Hye-rin really wants is to make Joon-hyuk so jealous that he is willing to make a go of it with her in spite of the opposition from her mother and father. She wants him to see that if she can make her parents accept Tae-joo, then she can convince them that Joon-hyuk would be even better, and her parents wil be relieved she's with Joon instead of this loser Tae-joon. She's trying to make Joon-hyuk be willing to fight for them. Then she will throw Tae-joo aside, and he was only a pretend fiancee anyway.

Tae-joo is a pawn in her game, not only a consort. He doesn’t know that she and her stepbrother Joon-hyuk were in love, and doesn’t know that hye-rin is using him to make Joon-hyuk jealous. He only thinks it's to fool her parents. He does find out the truth before too long though.

Meanwhile Eun-soo is heartbroken. She had grown on Tae-joo. He had agreed in a way (like someone indulging a kid) that they were "dating (two meals, a kiss, shared elevator rides, you get the picture) but also because tae-joo, even though he barely realized it yet, had begun to like her. But that only lasted about two weeks, and then along cane Hye-rin with her offer of money and position, and off our fickle Tae-joo went. I think inside he didn't want to acknowledge that the steel cool Tae-joo could actually fall for someone, much less an innocent like Eun-soo. Eun-soo is perfect in her confusion and betrayal, and ultimate acceptance that she simply wasn’t the type of girl for a man like Tae-joo.

Hye-rin’s father’s Shopping Mall is the background for a lot of the drama because it’s where all four main leads end up working. Needless to say, Joon-hyuk meets and falls for Eun-soo, which only enrages Hye-rin who knows that Tae-joo really does care about Eun-soo as well. So now both of "her men" are in love with Eun-soo, only Tae-joo refuses to admit it to himself, or Eun-soo.

However....

Tae-joo cannot deal with seeing Joon-hyuk and Eun-soo become a couple, but Eun-soo, even though she still loves Tae-joo, finds comfort with the kind Joon-hyuk. But by now Hye-rin has stopped loving Joon-hyuk, and really does fall for Tae-joo, who is losing his mind over his feelings for Eun-soo.

SPOILERS AHEAD!

When (episode 9 and 10 wow!!) they finally get together it's so perfect. When they return home to face Hye-rin and Joon-hyuk, and Eun-soo's mom as well....I knew it was too good to be true.

Hye-rin taunts Eun-soo that it won't last because Tae-joo won't be happy and then Hye-rin gets her father to tempt Tae-joo with money and power. Eun-soo's sister is sick and they need money for the Drs, and suddenly everything goes south and Tae-joo leaves Eun-soo again. So stupid.

Lots of sorrow, anger, episodes of angst. Tae-joo never stops loving Eun-soo but those episodes! 😪

In the end it felt to me that Hye-rin and Joon-hyuk hadn't come out better for the fire they had been through, but Tae-joo had. He wasn't living for money anymore, he had truly fallen in love with Eun-soo and her only. He accepted that he lost her and was a better person in his life. Eun-soo doesn't really change, she is still sweet and she hasn't become bitter. She is sorry she hurt Joon-hyuk and she is still trying to be a good sister and daughter. And she never stopped loving Tae-joo.

I'm glad we had a happy ending. 😌

I think the actors were perfect for their characters. It’s definitely filled with a rollercoaster of emotions. I would finish one episode and click on the next one immediately. I think I dreamed about it.

There are plot twists, romantic and not that I didn't see coming. There were several times when I covered my mouth with my hand and was like "no way!" And those moments are what make this drama (to me) one that stands out. I really enjoyed it. Ok I was obsessed with it.

I wasn’t sorry to see it come to an end. I was ready to see how it was going to resolve itself and what was going to happen to the people I’d become so obsessed with. I was so afraid of what the ending would be.

Now that I can breathe easily and I know what happens, I will watch it more slowly just to enjoy everything. The first time I was on the edge of my seat so much. I honestly plan to watch it back to back and this second time around I'll savour it and just immerse myself in the story without the worry.

This older drama wasn't and isn't for everyone. I'm sure a lot of people don't like it. But I really did/ do.

#eric mun #kdrama #kdramas #kdrama review

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httpsung · 7 years

Text

baby, there’s a shark in the water pt. 3 (final)

pairing: reader x young k x wonpil x sungjin x jina (oc)

genre: angst

word count: 5,431

previous: pt.1 | pt.2

note: i want to thank everyone who has left comments and supported this mini series. this was intially suppose to be a one-shot but you guys kept me motivated and also inspired me to make it longer. sadly this is the finale and I hope you guys will still enjoy this last piece, happy reading!

It was like he vanished into thin air. No one knew where Brian Kang had disappeared to, not even the teachers. There were rumors of him being expelled and harsh words that he might have been locked up. All which made you worry like crazy, it hurt your heart knowing that you were the last person to see him.

You thought that everything would be okay and considered talking your mom into letting him stay a little longer until he could figure something out, she had never become so fond of one of your friends so quickly, it was like she fell in love when he smiled and soon she would start preaching wedding plans which you’d have to turn down. Your mom was that kind of parent, willing to set you up with any nice young man she liked.

A week had passed, things were alright with Wonpil and the two of you ate lunch on the rooftop again, occasionally joined by Dowoon who didn’t speak much but his presence was nice to have around. You didn’t bother asking about Sungjin especially when Wonpil didn’t bring him up, he seemed to be over the issues with him and maybe that was for the best. It was sad, however, that a long-term friendship had come to this.

“Are you alright Y/n…?” Wonpil nudged you playfully. You caught on to the end of his and Dowoon’s laughter, zoning out on the joke that was made. You were too busy thinking about Brian. “Oh, I’m fine!” You smiled and nudged him back, taking a bite of the meal your mom made you last night.

“Good.” Wonpil smiled and used his chopsticks to snag a bit of your food.

“Kim Wonpil!” You shouted and gave him a frown, causing Dowoon to snort at the situation. Wonpil placed the piece of shrimp in his mouth with an innocent expression you couldn’t stay mad at for long.

“You jerk.” You muttered trying not to smile back. Wonpil draped his arm around your shoulder.

“I’m sorry Y/n, you can have some of mine.” He offered and you graciously accepted taking more from his lunch box than he expected.

“Hey!” He exclaimed and you laughed with a shrug as you ate his food.

When lunch was over you saw a familiar figure who had everyone stopping to stare. “Brian…?” You called out his name and he turned around. You felt relief at seeing him safe but all the worrying you had done rose to the surface. You frowned as you marched up to him to everyone’s surprise. “Where have you been?! Do you know how worried I was?”

You completely ignored the students around you, forgetting that Wonpil and Dowoon were right behind you.

“Calm down… I’m fine Y/n. I moved in with my aunt and I will be staying with her from now on, she lives near here...” He responded hoping that would ease your mind.

“You could have called me!” You bickered, making him raise his brow. “Well, I don’t have your number!” Brian argued back with you, but there was a smile ready to dance across his lips. Your lips formed a pout, a habit when you were slightly upset. You gave Brian a light shove and he placed his hand on top of your head.

“If you’re so concerned about me, I’ll give you my number next time so you can keep tabs. I have to get to class now.” He laughed as he walked away. His comment had your face flushing and you realized that you had put on a scene in front of your whispering peers.

You turned around to your friends, ready to apologize but noticed Wonpil had gone on ahead leaving Dowoon to stare at you with a grin.

“What’s that look for?” You questioned him with a tilt of your head. Dowoon shook his head and walked past you, his silence had you curious as you followed him.

Wonpil:

Everything seemed to be slowly getting back on track after he got over his cold. Wonpil felt great about his return to school though he dreaded the math work he had to catch up on. He was no longer going to let himself worry about Sungjin, a weight lifting off his chest when he stopped all thoughts about the other male. He found himself speaking to Dowoon more often, even though the boy was more of the silent type, occasionally the two would share a few jokes and talk about music. Wonpil felt glad that he was talking with Y/n again, just a little time without her made his heart feel sick. On this day, he enjoyed his time on the rooftop eating lunch with her and Dowoon and afterward the three headed back to class.

Y/n who had been walking slightly ahead of him and Dowoon froze suddenly which made his eyes wander to who she was staring at. It was Brian Kang who had been missing for a week. He heard rumors about the male getting kicked out of school or worse and he didn’t know what to believe. There were students who ogled him as always, but what surprised Wonpil the most was Y/n, and how she approached him so confidently, nagging him as if they had known each other forever.

Wonpil watched the two an odd feeling rising inside him that he didn’t like.

“They’re cute together, hm?” A voice crept up behind him and then he felt an arm drape around his shoulder. Wonpil looked to his left to see Y/n’s friends. Roo and Alice, both with their eyes on her and Brian.

“You’re right Roo, I think they’re adorable.” Alice giggled as she rocked back and forth on her heels. Roo removed her arm from around Wonpil and gave him a pat on the back before she walked away with Alice following. It was like the two were trying to make a point though he wasn’t quite sure what. Wonpil was sure however that he didn’t want to watch Y/n and Brian interact any longer so he went on to class ahead, giving a slight wave good bye to Dowoon.

In class, he rested his head on his desk not noticing if Y/n had entered the room or not. Seconds later he heard his teacher’s voice which made him raise his head, peeking back at his friend who was now in her seat. Wonpil’s eyes lingered on her while she got out her book, those feelings that he called himself switching off before were definitely on again.

Jina:

“I can’t believe her… why is she talking to Brian all of a sudden?!” Her voice became higher pitched when she was angry and she couldn’t control it. She noticed the face of her best friend who tried to conceal his laughter which only added fuel to the fire. Jae had always been there to listen to her when she needed to get things off her chest though sometimes she thought he couldn’t be helpful at all.

Jina knew she should have been in class but right now she wasn’t up to seeing a certain person’s face and that person was Y/n. She never had an issue with her until recently. Not until she realized that the guy she had been in love with for the last year has a thing for her. Brian Kang hardly showed his interest in girls and she was one of those unlucky few no matter how hard she tried but the way he looked at Y/n, the fact that he actually spoke to the girl let her know that he finally found someone to steal his heart.

Brian Kang was that tough guy and the kind of guy she was most attracted to, she couldn’t keep her eyes off him whenever he was near and hoped for the day where his eyes would only look at her.

“She’s not even cute I don’t get it!” Jina ran her fingers through her hair in frustration as she paced back and forth. Jae constantly glanced from his phone to her as she spoke.

Her heart raced, anger seeping from her mouth and her eyes welled with tears. She tried so hard with Brian only for him to ignore her every time. Jina gripped her head as she thought back to the time where he helped her out one night. Brian got into a fight over her behalf, saving her from a bunch of guys who hung around the park near by, late at night. She was only there to get away for a while when they approached her trying to sway her into leaving with them. Brian was there to tell them to go away and when they didn’t he took the first swing, protecting her, making her fall in love with him right then.

After that night, it was like Brian didn’t know she existed and over time it was slowly killing her.

“Jina…” Jae sighed as he pulled her toward him gently, removing her hands from her head. He knew she would start pulling out her hair next if he didn’t stop her.

“You should probably stop chasing after a guy like him, just focus on Sungjin at least he’s sweet,” Jae advised.

“Sungjin’s weak… I only see him when I’m in need, I don’t want him for anything else.” She said bluntly.

“If you keep chasing after a guy who doesn’t even care about your presence you’ll continue being miserable,” Jae said sternly. This was one of those times where he wasn’t going to be much help.

“Shut up!” She yelled at him and hurried away. Jina pulled out her phone to text Sungjin. She was hurting and needed a quick fix to make her feel better again.

Meet me in the music room now.

Sungjin:

Sungjin stood between bookshelves in the library, flipping through crisp pages of a book he had been interested in checking out for some time now. He knew it would be returned today so he made sure to pick it up before anyone else could snag it and make him wait another week. He felt his pants vibrate signaling that he had received a new text message. His eyes widened slightly at the sender, it was Jina who never asked to meet with him on school grounds, their affairs always began after school was over.

Meet me in the music room now.

Sungjin’s lips curled slightly at the corners, her message came off as a bit demanding but he was happy to comply.

I’m on my way.

“Excuse me…” A light voice tore his gaze away from his phone. It was a girl whom he had seen around before if he wasn’t mistaken she was friends with Y/n and her name started with an A.

“Yes…?” Sungjin answered, locking eyes with her.

“I was wondering if you could help me find this book… it’s called The Rest of Us Just Live Here,” She said. Sungjin glanced from her bright eyes to the book in his hand. “Ah well…” He started to speak, she was asking to find the book he had finally got a hold of.

“Here…” Sungjin handed the book over to her.

“Oh!” She exclaimed taking the book from his hands. “Are you sure? You can keep it since you got to it first, I don’t mind waiting.” She gave him a smile that was so beautiful he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to look away. Sungjin smiled in return and nodded his head.

“I’m sure.” He chuckled. “I’ve been waiting so long to read this I don’t mind waiting a little longer.” He added.

“Thank you, you’re sweet um…?” She stared at him as if she was waiting for a name which he responded immediately.

“Sungjin… I’m Sungjin.” He said.

“Alice… when I’m done Sungjin I’ll hand it over to you personally. And maybe we can talk about it afterward?!” Alice asked excitedly which made him laugh and nod once more. She was cute.

“Sure thing,” Sungjin replied as he turned to walk away with a wave. Alice gave him a wave before she hurried off to check out the book, his eyes lingering after her a few seconds longer.

Sungjin arrived at the music room which was usually empty for the rest of the day at this time. He opened the door and entered quickly, switching on the light and pulling down the door shade. He thought Jina would have been there before him but while he waited he decided to sit at the piano and play a little.

Sungjin played a song he had been practicing since he was a kid, waiting and stopping when he heard a light tap on the door. It opened and Jina stepped through the threshold, shutting the door quickly and locking it behind her.

“Hey…” Sungjin smiled as he watched her saunter over to him. She bent down to kiss his lips harshly. He kissed her back, eyes catching tear stains on her cheeks making him pull away.

“Have you been crying…? What’s wrong…?” He asked.

Jina sat on top of the piano, pulling Sungjin to stand up in front of her. “Nothing…” She answered and grabbed his collar pulling him into a kiss, drawing him in between her legs.

Sungjin moaned into the kiss while her hands worked at his zipper, but before she could get any further he pulled away again.

“Jina…” He said her name calmly as she caressed his cheek. “Have you been crying over someone else…? Are you in love with someone?” He asked, watching her eyes widen for a second, her head shaking.

“No…” She replied, her lips moving to his neck, fingers unbuckling his belt.

“Okay…” Sungjin gave a faint smile.

Liar. He knew she was lying, he saw that in her expression and though he thought he could carry on and wait for her to love him Sungjin knew in his heart that he couldn’t do it anymore.

This would be the last time their bodies would ever meet like this. No more touches, no more kisses.

Brian:

Life had been looking up for him, for once he felt good as he walked down the halls of the school. People still stepped to the side of course but not as many as before. He heard whispers that he seemed different that he was not as scary as he used to be. His appearance didn’t change, no, but maybe it was his aura that didn’t seem so dark anymore. How could it remain drab when he had such a beautiful light in his life? That night when he sat on the swing and thought his life couldn’t reach another low after the fight with his dad, she showed up and her help was all he needed.

He felt nervous as he stepped into Y/n’s home, meeting her mother who allowed him a spot on the couch. He watched her with her mom feeling happy instead of envious that she had such a good relationship with her parent. It had him thinking he could have the same support if he just answered one call.

Brian had an aunt not too far away, the next best person besides his mother who moved away a few years back. His aunt was the sister of his criminal father but she was a better person that he would ever be, offering him a place with her many times before which he never accepted. That night as he laid on Y/n’s couch he gave her a call, eyes welling with tears as he finally agreed to move in and accept the love he’s always needed.

None of this would have happened if it weren’t for Y/n. She didn’t know it but she was definitely the one knocking down the negativity he relished in and letting the positivity shine through.

When he saw her after school the day he returned he gave her his kakao id, smiling at her blushing face and lack of words for the moment. It was so she wouldn’t worry about him. He thought kakao might have been a little more comfortable than giving her his phone number. iI she ever got to the point where she wanted to hear his voice or if he wanted to hear his, it also had a call option.

He was surprised when she messaged him that night unable to keep the smile off his face.

Just keeping tabs y’know...

She was witty, using his words against him which made his heart beat for her even more.

“Party?” You repeated with the raise of your eyebrows at the dancing girl in front of you. It was Alice who was pumped about a party a kid named Sammy was having later at night. Alice had interrupted your conversation with Brian in the hallway to invite you along with her and Roo. The last time you went to a party you didn’t enjoy it much and left early, you weren’t sure if you felt up to relive another night like that.

“I don’t know…” You answered, prompting Alice to put on a cute act.

“Pleasee, Y/n? I feel like it’ll be fun.” Alice whined and you sighed.

“I think you should go.” Brian agreed and Alice clung to his arm as she cheered, surprising him. You laughed and sighed again.

“Alright, but you have to go to.” You grinned. You noticed Wonpil and Dowoon out the corner of your eye as they were about to pass by.

“You guys too okay?” You smiled.

“Us too? What do you mean…?” Wonpil asked curiously, his eyes glancing over at Brian. “There’s a party tonight that Sammy Boy is hosting,” Roo answered him.

“I’ll be there.” Brian interrupted. Wonpil tore his gaze from the other male to look at you. “I think I’ll skip out,” He gave you a small smile before walking away.

Your face dropped a little. Wonpil was just like you when it came to parties, he didn’t care much for them, but you were hoping he would go with the thought of dancing with him at some point in the back of your mind.

Night fell and the party arrived quicker than expected, soon you were dressed up deciding to wear a little bit of makeup, standing outside Sammy’s door with your friends at your side.

The door opened and the music hit you in the face, the loud bass echoing around you as you, Alice and Roo stepped inside. It was crowded and you could barely feel the air conditioning as Alice tugged you further into the crowd, your eyes searching for more familiar faces, surprised to see Sungjin but not surprised to see Jina and Jae.

Your eyes landed on a face you had hoped wouldn’t let you down. Brian was posted on the wall with a red cup in his hand. His eyes met yours and he smiled, waving you over. Alice and Roo parted ways to do their own thing while you navigated your way over to Brian, relieved to be out the center of the crowd.

“Hectic, isn’t it?” He chuckled as he took a sip from his cup. You gave him a nod and stood right beside him. Being next to Brian was the safest place to be and you were glad he came.

“We can spend our time here and watch the craziness if you want?” He grinned and nudged you gently. You smiled back at him, taking his cup out of his hand to take a sip before handing it back.

“I’d love that… but let’s have at least one dance.” You smiled and reached to grab his hand, luring him away from the wall. You weren’t the best dancer but you didn’t mind showing what little moves you had to him. As days passed the two of you had grown closer and soon Brian felt like a friend you never wanted to see disappear from your life, he was genuinely a nice guy no matter if other people couldn’t see that.

You began to dance and Brian danced back. His movements surprised you, Brian was a good dancer and by looking at him you’d never expect him to be. As his body got closer you felt your face flush, especially when the song switched into something a lot slower.

Your heart jumped as he carefully guided you closer to him, eyes looking to meet his, feeling as though you were losing yourself in his chocolate orbs. There was a feeling fluttering through your stomach, a similar feeling you had with Wonpil but the odd thing is that it had been there for a while with Brian too.

You noticed him leaning in, your eyes on his lips. You were starting to think you wouldn’t mind if he kissed you but something in the back of your head urged you to look away and then you saw him enter the house. It was Wonpil who looked a little different. While your eyes focused on him you didn’t notice how Brian’s fell in defeat.

Wonpil:

Wonpil stood outside the door of the party for a few minutes, taking a deep breath in and exhaling. Dowoon stood beside him without a word, not pressuring him to enter right away. Wonpil had a lot on his mind and it all involved one person and that person was Y/n. Lately, she had been on his mind non-stop and though he was around her, eating lunch, laughing, his heart thumped something fierce as if it needed him to get a few words of his chest.

He needed to tell her how he felt, how he always felt even though he didn’t show it. He sat at home after school, thinking about her and about Brian and how he hoped the boy didn’t have her heart just yet. Wonpil called Dowoon up as he got dressed, asking the quiet male to tag along with him to the party, he didn’t want to go in alone and he was happy when Dowoon easily agreed.

He turned to his sister for help with his hair and she styled it nicely, parting his bangs to reveal his forehead, a look she was sure would make the girls go wild but he only wanted one girl to notice him.

Inside the party, his eyes scanned the scene until he found Y/n but she was with Brian. Wonpil fought through the thought of backing down and leaving her to be but when he noticed her staring in his direction it boosted him to make his way across the room with a call of her name.

“Y/n...” He smiled at her then look to Brian. “Do you mind if I cut in?” He asked the male who gave him a nod, backing off with a faint smile to allow Wonpil time with her.

“You look great, I can’t believe this is you…” She smiled, reaching up to lightly brush her hand against his hair.

“Thank you…” Wonpil blushed and started to dance a bit as he tuned into the beat of the song. He kept his eyes on her and she kept his eyes on him, when the music slowed Wonpil courageously wrapped his arms around her pulling her close. He noticed her eyes fell for a few seconds, and he smiled, feeling content that he decided to show up after all. When the song ended he stopped and leaned in to whisper in her ear.

“Want to take a walk?” He asked and she happily agreed. Wonpil took her hand and led her out of the party ignoring the eyes that stared at them. It was nice and cool outside, the temperature better than what it was in doors.

“I’m happy you came.” Y/n smiled at him and he smiled back, his hand still holding hers, he didn’t want to let it go.

“Y/n…” Wonpil stopped walking and turned to her.

“I love you...” He confessed, watching her eyes widen in surprise.

“Wonpil I…” She said his name with a tone he wasn’t expecting, her voice was sweet as it had always been but lying underneath was heartbreak, he could tell that he was a little too late.

Jina:

She tried to keep herself as calm as possible as she approached him. Jina wasn’t going to let the moment Brian and Y/n had just moments ago stop her this time from getting his attention. She made her way to the wall he leaned on with a cup in her hand, casually taking sips as she worked up the courage to speak. When she finally turned to him his eyes met hers and her face flushed immediately.

“Hi, Brian I…”

“If this is about a dance… I’m sorry but I’m not feeling too well. I’m going to head out.” He cut her off with a small smile, the first time he’s ever curled his lips at her.

Jina stood as she watched the boy she was in love with walk away from her again, all the energy she had to finally speak to him gone. She could feel her eyes burning, threatening tears as she pulled out her cell phone to text Sungjin who stood with a girl across the room.

Meet me upstairs…? I need you…

She met his eyes briefly, noticing him responding to her message. Jina waited for his text, when it arrived and she read it, her tears fell.

I can’t… I’m not doing this anymore Jina.

She didn’t notice Jae watching her as she ran out the door to get some air instead of crying in a place where everyone could see.

“Jina!” Jae called her name but she didn’t look up from the palms of her hands.

“I’m so stupid Jae…” She spoke as she heard his footsteps stop next to her.

“How can I be so crazy in love with a person who doesn’t even know I exist...?” She sobbed.

“Sungjin doesn’t even need me anymore… I know I’m a horrible person for using him but I didn’t expect that to hurt too…”

Jae was silent as he watched his best friend have a breakdown for the last time.

“You are horrible for using Sungjin Jina… you’re a fool for begin in love with Brian.” The fact that Jae agreed with her was the confirmation she needed to help her move on.

“But you’re also a fool Jina… for not noticing that I’m someone who’s loved you all along.” She didn’t raise her head to see the smile on his face but she felt his arms wrap around her and she cried into his chest.

“Jae…” She sniffled as he placed a kiss on the top of her head, these were the arms she belonged in.

Sungjin:

Sungjin watched the girl who had a tight hold on his heart run out the door leaving him relieved. He couldn’t feel sorry for denying the girl who had used him up for days and played games with his vulnerable heart. He spent an entire night thinking and even interrupted his parents who were sleeping to talk about the things that had been bothering him for once. It was a freeing feeling to get all of the pent-up emotions he held in for the last few months off his chest, making him feel light again.

“Are you alright Sungjin?” Alice’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he turned to her with a smile.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He answered and she continued her talk about the book they’ve both read, this was a connection he was looking forward to seeing grow.

His words echoed through your ears, this was the confession you had been waiting for, it was also a confession you’d never thought you’d hear. Kim Wonpil was in love with you. You imagined this moment plenty of times before, imagined your heart swelling and soaring into the clouds, but the moment he walked through the door your heart didn’t skip a beat at the sight of him like it used to. You would always love Wonpil, he was your friend, your best friend for that matter, but you were not in love with him anymore.

“Wonpil I…” You paused trying to find the right words to say.

“It’s fine, I just wanted to get it off my chest….” He gave you that same smile he always did and you smiled back, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

Wonpil noticed someone and nodded his head in their direction. “It looks like he’s leaving… I think you should go catch him.” He smiled and let your hand go. You turned to notice Brian walking down the street and that’s when you heard the sound of your own heartbeat in your ears.

“Thank you...” You looked at Wonpil one last time before hurrying after Brian.

“Hey, you!” You called out to him, prompting him to turn around. You ran as fast as you could to catch up to Brian who gave you a confused look.

“I thought you left with your friend Wonpil…” Brian said, his eyes looking everywhere else but yours.

“I was with him but I decided to come after you.” You gave him a smile.

“Why? You should be with the person you love...” His eyes finally met yours. You never knew Brian caught on to the way you felt about Wonpil but he needed to know that those feelings faded.

“Well, I think I’m in the right place…” You felt as though you would die right there when you said those words, Brian’s eyes lighting up like you had never seen and for once he had a shy smile on his lips. You reached for his hand and he took yours in his, the two of you enjoying slow steps under the moonlight.

Wonpil:

Wonpil made his way down the hallway with his lunch in his hand, trying not to stare at the lovey-dovey sight that was Park Jaehyung and Jina in the hallway. He should have expected best friends like that to become lovers and though Jina caused some issues with Sungjin before, he was happy she found happiness.

He opened the door that led to the school’s rooftop, shuddering at the cool air that hit his face. The temperature was slowly dropping as the seasons began to change, in a couple more months it would be snowing and he wasn’t sure if he’d be eating on the rooftop then. He sat down on the concrete with his lunch bag between his legs, waiting for everyone else to arrive, he didn’t want to start eating just yet.

The door opened and Alice stepped through first with a wave, Sungjin right behind her. “Hey, hey!” She smiled and Wonpil replied with a wave of his own.

“Hey man…” Sungjin smiled as he sat down next to Wonpil. Things were right again between him and his best friend, Sungjin apologized a million times and finally let him in on the issues that made him go astray. Wonpil forgave him and accepted the new love he found in Alice, supporting the book nerds.

Roo came through the door next, frowning at the couple who left ahead of her again and it wouldn’t be long before she’d playfully accused Sungjin of stealing Alice away from her. Dowoon showed up with a girl he had been spending time with, he didn’t think the quiet guy would open up on that level but he was glad he found someone who could probably get more words out of him than anyone else.

The last two showed up late as usual but when they finally walked through the door Wonpil smiled. Y/n and Brian had been going strong and after getting to know Brian better for himself Wonpil thought he was the best match for his friend.

Everyone sat around chatting and eating making him feel content. He wanted every day to continue on like this where everyone was happy and far from lonely.

“So, are you guys up for going to the amusement park this weekend?” Y/n asked. “I’m down.” Wonpil agreed and so did everyone else.

“Is it okay if I invite Jae and Jina too...? Jae overheard me talking about it and…” She sighed and laughed, prompting Sungjin to laugh too.

“I’m fine with it.” He nodded, wrapping his arm around Alice.

“Me too.” Wonpil agreed.

“I feel bad that Wonpil over here doesn’t have a date though.” Sungjin teased Wonpil as he took a sip from his water bottle.

“He has me,” Roo answered with a grin, making Wonpil choke.

#day6writersnet #day6 scenarios #day6 #this is the end and it's probably not as good but it is done and thank you for reading anyway ;___;#i've only proofread this once forgive my mistakes #it's almost 2am here welp ;;

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tinamaetales · 6 years

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Plot Twists (2018 year end blog post)

Looking back, I never could’ve imagined that I will still be here. Whenever I think about how my 2018 started, I can’t help but be proud of myself – proud because the greatest achievement I’ve got from 2018 is my own survival. I never knew that in some really weird way, I will be able to find my will to live. And now here I am, a living proof that life is still worth fighting for despite all the chaos that surrounds you. While I gotta admit that I am not yet fully healed, I am trying my best to become better. In short, I’m still fighting.

I’ve welcomed 2018 in a gloomy manner. It was during those times wherein my depression is really at its peak and nothing can make me feel better. My family and I went to my mother’s hometown in Matnog, Sorsogon for the holidays and despite the fact that I get to bond with them and welcome the New Year with the people whom I know loves me the most, I was still on my lowest low. The thing about depression is that it is not just sadness, it is a mental disorder. What most people failed to see is that depression isn’t just about being sad – it is a battle inside your head, a battle against yourself and your own demons. Back then, my nights are filled with crying until I fall asleep and my mornings are filled with anxiety and fears. To make it short, I was a mess.

I don’t know where I got the courage to do it but I managed to bring myself to the Hospital that has a Psychiatry Department. I just went there with a very messy mind. I asked the staff at the lobby if there are any available Psychiatrists for that day and they told me that their doctors would only accept patients if they have an appointment but nonetheless I decided to just ask for the room number so I can secure a schedule for the next weekend. But, fate seems to be on my side that day because when I asked the doctor’s secretary, she told me that I can see the Psychiatrist even without securing an appointment – they can accommodate me since they do not have much patient that day, it is just that I’ll be last on the list.

After that, I was under medication. I was given anti depressants and meds for my panic attacks. What I’ve realize is that the battle I am in is actually more tiring than any other physical activities; it was a never ending battle against yourself. And even though you already have the medications and professional help to back you up, your willingness to help yourself plays a significant role too. At the first few weeks, I’m just being obedient because I want to stop thinking – I just want to feel numb because I am tired of everything. I don’t care much about myself – I lost my willingness to live. Little by little, I have come to a realization that I do not care if the important aspects in my life are being affected because of the mess inside my mind; I realized that I am slowly disassociating myself to the people around me, I’ve become incompetent with my job (I used to work at the frontline section and I’ve noticed that I was the weakest when it comes to dealing with our applicants…I always make mistakes) and I lose interest to the things that once matter to me the most. I’ve become a living ghost – not dead but not alive either, just a breathing thing.

Plot twists, whether in the books that I read or in the movies and/or tv series that I watch, always makes my heart race; such events happen at the most unexpected time that’s why it makes one become thrilled – but I never knew that I’ll get to have my own taste of plot twists in 2018 and they are hella worth it. I’ve watched a lot of Korean Drama series (I even post my reflections and reviews of them here) because I love the way they execute the stories. My all time favorite would definitely be Goblin because of its life and death theme and I could still remember all the quotes from that drama but if there’s one from it that can describe what my 2018 has become it would be this: “Every life is touched by a deity at least once. Just when you’re drifting away from the world, if someone nudges you back in the right direction, that’d be when the deity chooses to visit you” It was sometime in February of 2018 when I was inside my room, crying so hard, that I felt overwhelmed by everything. At that moment, I only think of doing just one thing and I was super sure of it – killing myself. At that moment, I just want to end it all – the pain, frustration, anger, resentment, loneliness and worthlessness. I was so sure of that decision already however, something (or might it be someone? IDK) pulls me back to my senses. It was as if I was already in the middle of jumping but at the last second I hold on….like Kang Chul. Right at that moment, my tears ran out but my chest still feels so heavy and after a few minutes I passed out from exhaustion. The next morning, I woke up feeling a bit relieved and I don’t even know why. It has become a habit of mine to check my phone first the moment I wake up so when I did it that morning, I was surprised by the amount of messages I’ve got from my friends. I suddenly remembered how I posted something (a goodbye message) on my facebook account and it made them worry. I felt bad as I read their messages because I made them worry. It was at that moment that I’ve realized that I still got a few good people supporting me. I was also reminded of the phrase “Suicide doesn’t end the pain, it just passes it on to someone else.. Maybe, the fight isn’t over yet. Maybe, my life is still worth living.

Our Division’s Director during those times informed me about the Wellness Program that our Department offers to its employee for free in which I can go to their partner institution and can have a consultation with a Psychologist. I’ve decided to go with her when she paid a visit at their clinic. It was actually a nice session that we’ve had. Our conversation lasted for about two hours (the same with how it goes with my Psychiatrist). He has the same advises as my Psychiatrist though – only different in their approach. My Psychiatrist told me to learn a sport so I can release the emotions I am feeling and he also pointed out that learning sports is a great way in building one’s character, on the other hand, the Psychologist told me to try doing things that I used to love (like museum visits) but with no obligations attached (since I told him that I visit museums and historical places because I need to write something for my blog), I’ll just do it to enjoy the moment. I’ve kept those advises in mind. But there’s one thing in common that they’ve told me and that is to face my fears.

I am scared of people, that’s the truth. I am afraid of associating myself with people especially those who have authoritative aura because of my father. I don’t want to keep on telling the same story here over and over again but just for the clarification: I am traumatized because of the environment I grew up with in which my father would be throwing things and be screaming whenever he is mad and he never know how to listen to others. I am scared of being around people because I have this paranoia that they will hurt me; it will take me a very long time before I can trust someone. But, I just can’t allow my pain to hinder me from reaching my goals in life, right? I have to learn how to overcome such trauma because if I don’t then who will do it for me? My Psychiatrist told me to do the “kontra-phobia” thing in which I have to expose myself to the things that scare me (slowly, of course) in order for me to get used to it until it will no longer have the power to hurt me. And that’s how I ended up being an iKONIC.

I can still clearly remember how I asked a friend of mine from work to give me song recommendations since whenever I got music playing while I’m stuck in traffic, I can manage not to be scared of the people around me and most of the songs she gave me are from iKON. At first, I was really curious as to why she keeps on suggesting that I try watching iKON TV and listen to their songs because I was all like, “who are they anyway?” But then I decided to give it a try because that friend of mine has really good taste in music so I guess iKON’s songs are worth listening to and damn it, I wasn’t wrong. iKON doesn’t have any bad songs! The first song of theirs that I listen to was “Rubber band” and I can’t get it out of my head the entire day. When I went home, I decided to watch some of their videos for me to get to know them. The first ever video of theirs that I watched was their dance practice for Love Scenario and one guy from their group caught my attention instantly – Kim Jinhwan. I ended up having a huge crush on him and was only interested in him. Few days later, I decided to watch iKON TV and it was the best decision ever. That show sealed the deal, it made me an iKONIC. I also decided to watch their survival shows, Who is Next: WIN and Mix & Match. What I realized after watching their shows is that, they are worth it. Those seven guys are the best representation of my wanderlust millennial self. You see, they are the same age range as me, three members are older than me (Jinhwan, Yunhyeong and Bobby), one member is the same age as mine (B.I.) while their maknae line are all younger than me (DK, Junhoe and Chanwoo) that’s why I feel that I can connect and relate with them naturally. And from what I’ve noticed ever since I became an iKONIC is that, I suddenly have the courage to continue living – sounds so cliché, right? But that’s what I felt.

It was those seven guys, collectively known as iKON that became the best plot twist of my 2018. In fact, I can’t even imagine how that year would’ve rolled if I didn’t get to know them. They just inspire me to be resilient and to keep going. The best lesson I’ve learned from them is this: anything is possible as long as you are willing to make it possible. This reminds me of the certain exchange of words between Hanbin (B.I. – iKON’s leader) and YG (CEO of YG Ent) in which the latter told Team B (back then they were just called Team B because they were still trainees) that they can’t fly like their opponents but then Hanbin replied with “We’ll just crawl, sir” and I just have to give him a round of applause for that. I never see that as Hanbin’s way of making things less tense during those times but instead, it was his way of telling everyone that even though you tell them they can’t, they will prove you wrong. That certain phrase of him sort of motivated me for it was a reminder that no matter the circumstances you are facing, as long as you are willing to put the effort in working hard and fighting for your goals in life then you can make it. You can never go wrong with hard work. And that’s the thing I love the most about iKON, they are very hard working, they never slack off. They are consistent in giving their all in everything that they do and I guess that’s the reason why they produce great quality of music (deep lyrics and melody’s on point) because their passion is always burning; they don’t care about the charts because they make music out of passion. The seven of them are different from each other yet complement each other very well. Like the rainbow with seven different colors, iKON is a seven member group in which each member has their own unique charisma, talent and strength that makes them shine.

As I’ve mentioned, iKON was my best plot twist in 2018 simply because they help me pick up my broken pieces and build myself up again. In fact, there are a lot of things that I’ve done in 2018 that I never knew I could accomplish and thanks to those seven dork for giving me the motivation to become courageous. For someone whose panic attacks is being triggered by people who have strong voices, crowded places and basically any interaction with people, I was able to somehow overcome those fears little by little throughout 2018 because I have iKON by my side.

I am scared of people with loud and strong voices as well as any sound that is too loud because it will make me feel unsafe – I will feel like those people will hurt me. Since Bobby’s a rapper, he has this distinct tone of voice that is really strong and at first I get a bit scared when I listen to his parts on their songs – especially in Anthem (it was one of their best songs, btw. It’s lit af) but upon getting to know him more, I’ve seen how good of a person he is (all iKON members are) and so that’s how I started the “kontra-phobia” thing that my Psychiatrist told me. I keep on listening to their “loud” songs and to all of Bobby’s songs (from his solo album and his songs from SMTM3) until I realized that I’ve become calmer now and my panic attacks have lessened. Although there are still times wherein I will feel a bit scared when I’m exposed to a noisy environment or when I have to talk to people with strong voices, at least now my panic attacks aren’t that bad anymore and there are even days wherein I won’t experience any panic attacks at all. Looking back, I can’t help but tear up a little since I never knew that this moment would come – that I’m overcoming my anxiety and fears little by little. Remembering the times wherein I would experience the worst panic attacks (there was even a time wherein my officemates have to rush me to the nearest hospital because of my panic attacks), the tightness of my chest, difficulty in breathing, feelings of suffocation, and entire body’s numbness makes me feel grateful to them for helping me to not experience it anymore. If I could describe my panic attacks in a scenario it would be like this: you’re swimming in a pool but suddenly you started drowning and even though you try your best to swim up, you just keep on going deeper and deeper as if you’re destined to drown. And I hated feeling that way – it makes me feel so weak. Now, as I look back at those moments, I can’t help but be proud of myself for slowly overcoming it and iKON was a big part of that improvement.

It was also iKON who inspired me to not be afraid to face life’s challenges. The struggles that they’ve faced from doing two survival shows just for them to debut shows how much they’ve been through and how far they’ve come – and that journey of theirs is such an inspiration. Looking back at how my 2018 went by, I can say that I’m proud of the small victories I’ve had. I was able to do things that I once thought I can’t. I watched iKON’s concert alone which was obviously a sold out show with 18,000 iKONICS in attendance (but I gained new friends!) and no panic attack happened, I watched a movie alone (I watched Goyo: Ang Batang Heneral and it was a blockbuster! I didn’t get a good seat because the cinema’s really full), applied for a debit card account on a Monday (imagine how crowded the bank was during that day), tried the Sound Healing experience, went to World Trade Center during their Christmas Bazaar (it was really crowded) and went to an amusement park on Christmas Day and tried riding their roller coaster (the mini one coz I really can’t handle those kinds of rides) for the first time and I did enjoy it (obviously, it was filled with lots of people and lines in every ride is really long) and so much more that I couldn’t actually keep count. Slowly, I am getting back to my life’s rhythm. Slowly, I am learning how to live again. Slowly, but surely, I am building myself up again – and I guess that’s the best achievement.

To iKON, I know this might not reach you at all but let me just say this, Maraming maraming salamat! Mahal ko kayo, pinaka. Thank you for saving me.

And to the other relevant people in my life who made my 2018 worthwhile, the ones who never gave up on me, the ones who understands me even during those moments wherein it is really difficult to do so, the ones who loved me despite my flaws, the ones who stayed even though they are better off without a burden like me, the ones who still see the best in me despite showing them my worst, maraming salamat! I won’t make it this far if it weren’t for you guys. Ya’all know who you are :)

2018, it was a plot twist filled year but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Jalgayo! From now on I will only walk on the flower road.

I will keep on fighting!

TinaMae

#personal #depression #mental health matters #ikon #healing #journey

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