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highway-143 · 2 months ago

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is this real life? - lee heeseung

genre: fluffy fluff, smut, angst?

pairing: idol!heeseung x fem!reader

word count: tbd

now playing: confessions - flo rida, paul russel, and jake & heeseung

(proofread!)

all scenarios are fake and are not meant to harm any idol in the story

------<3------

you step into the oddly spacious hotel room, spinning around. was this what korea was like? you were sure that what you had paid would only get a storage closet back in the states.

the room looked more like a small apartment, a bathroom and a kitchen in the corner, a bed pressed against the far wall with a television opposite it, and a desk by the window. there was also a small balcony, which you stepped onto to take in the view of a fall seoul.

"daebak!" you murmur under your breath, swiveling your head to see everything the horizon had to offer. you loved the feeling of finally being in the one place you ever wanted to travel to.

as a 18 year old girl who only spoke basic korean and had little money, this was a nerve wracking experience for you. you knew that you were perfectly safe, but the karate class you took when you were younger probably wasnt going to help if you seriously needed it.

you shiver, the chilly breeze sending you back inside, only to sprawl out onto the bed, pulling your phone out of the pocket of your jeans.

the screen showed 7 missed messages from the plane flight, all from your mother

mom:

<you're such a disgrace to our family>

<don't come home anymore>

you feel tears start to pour out of your eyes, falling onto the screen of your phone, held in your shaking hands.

there were no words to describe the anger and sadness coursing through your body right now. you had told them you planned to take a vacation to seoul last week, but apparently that information was too boring to remember.

the entire time you had lived with your family, it was fights, yelling, and more fights. every day was a battle between you and your mother, your father barely present in your life, what with his full time job and the bar he loved to visit with his work friends.

when you finally worked up the nerve to tell your mother about your love for k-pop, she scoffed. "so, you like gays now?" she asked, rolling her eyes. "you always were a dissapointment"

"but mom," you argued, almost crying. "theyre not gay, and they make me happy. their music is so good, and i love them"

"you love them? they dont even know you. there are better girls to love than you. why would they even look at you?"

from that day on, your mom has hated anything to do with asian people. when she saw anybody of asian ethnicity anywhere, she would nudge you and say, "look, i bet you think theyre attractive" whether it be a girl, a young boy, or an old man.

the way she treated you made you want to scream into your pillow, which had happened on multiple occasions by now. that's why when you told your family about going to seoul, you didnt mention the fansign. but now, you see they didn't care anyway.

you pull yourself out of the bed, feeling hungry. you decide to take a walk outside and see if there were any good places to eat around the hotel. the busy streets were swarmed with people, all about their business. you were proud to see that you could understand most of their conversations. maybe being here would be good preparation for the fansign in 3 days.

you find a small ramen shop on the corner of a busy intersection. stepping inside, you see who looks to be the owner of the store, an older korean woman, bending over the counter to organize ingredients

"hello!" you say in korean, using formal speech. "can i order some food?"

"of course, honey" she responds in the same language. "before you order, i am assuming you speak english?" she asks

"yeah i do!" now in english, you speak more comfortably. "do you?"

"of course darling!" she grins at you, her eyes squinting closed in happiness. "so what would you like?" she has a thick accent, but some expert english.

you order a simple bowl of spicy noodles and a fried egg, and when she brings it out, she sits at the table with you.

"my name is park yujin," she hands you a glass of water. "may i ask yours?"

"im y/n! may i ask where you learned to speak english? its very good!"

"oh! i spent my high school and college years in the united states, so i had to learn my fair share of the language" she jokes. "so what brings you to korea?"

"i actually came for a fansign! my favorite group is here and ive always wanted to visit seoul, so this was perfect. i actually just graduated high school so this is like a graduation trip to myself!"

"thats so cool! i still listen to some of the earlier groups, like H.O.T and S.E.S!"

you two sit there and talk. yujin was a very kind woman, she felt like a mother, kind and willing to listen, so you tell her about your family, how your parents didnt seem to care about you.

"im so sorry honey," she says, sadness in her soft eyes. "you know, have you ever thought about staying in seoul?"

"i did," you say, twiddling your napkin in your fingers. "but i dont know enough korean, i dont have a job, so i dont have money for an apartment."

"oh," yujin frowns. "you know, if you want to stay, ive been looking to hire someone here. it wouldnt pay much but this building has some good apartments."

you smile, this is sounding good. "you know, ill think about it!"

you pay and leave, going back to the apartment, a small skip in your step as you walked the busy street

------<3------

on the days leading up to the event, you spend every meal with yujin. she was so kind, acting more motherly than yours ever could.

she tells you about her kids, her friends, and her life in the states, sharing experiences she had that you found astounding. one of your favorite stories was the time she took a bus from new york to florida with her best friend when she was only 16.

when it was finally time to go to the fansign, you check your outfit in the mirror. you were wearing a pink babydoll tee and cargo jeans, white converse, and a pair of white sunglasses. it was perfect, just what you imagined yourself wearing for meeting heeseung for the first time.

he was your bias to end all biases, the man who had gotten you through the last 5 years more than your friends and family ever did. he made you smile and laugh when you didnt think you could. meeting him was going to be a dream come true.

the venue was packed, people swarming like bees around the football field sized event center. it was crazy to you how so many people could love these men as much as you.

but you loved them more. you were willing to bet your life on it.

when you had finished waiting in line and finally got to the chairs, you began meeting each member. you laughed, smiled, and shed a few tears at finally being able to talk to the boys that saved you. that made life worth living.

but when you got to heeseung?

oh it was all over.

he looked up at you, taking in your smile and shaky hands. he spoke in korean, saying hello

"hi! whats your name?" he asked while you sat down in the chair, placing your photocard of him on the table.

"im y/n," you say, your voice trembling.

he continued to talk in korean, and you struggled to understand what he was saying, but caught the general idea.

"are you nervous?" he asked with a smirk, his dimples showing, which made your heart melt like ice cream. when you blushed and covered your face with your hands, he laughed and said "hey, its okay! i cant be that intimidating, right?" he asked, bringing his fisted hands to his cheeks in an aegyo. he looked so adorable, you laughed with him

"im sorry, im just.... wow. i never thought i would get to meet you!" you say in korean, stumbling over your words in a failed attempt to act smooth.

he looks at you with that sexy smirk back on his face. "do you... want me to speak english?"

"oh my god, that would be wonderful, thank you so much!"

"so y/n, how long have you been a fan?" he grabs the photocard and begins to sign the front, just under his smiling face

"uhh a few years now! i didnt have the opportunity to watch i-land when it first aired, but i still support you guys a lot!"

"wow!" he says, looking up from his writing. "i love meeting engenes like you, it reminds me that we are still relevant, and that we have worked so hard to be recognized"

you place your hand over your heart, looking at heeseung with big eyes and a slight pout to your lip. "thats so inspiring!"

"youre messing with me!" he says, mistaking your sincerity for sarcasm

"no! i promise," you laugh while talking "i am being completely serious! youre so cool, youre my role model!

"well, im happy i got to meet you, y/n. i hope i get to see you again soon!" he grins up at you again while you stand, your heart racing as you left

------<3------

"- and his smile! oh my god yujin, he was more perfect than i ever thought!" you say, watching yujin organize the counter

"you sound like youve got a little crush on this boy"

"how can i not! everyone does!"

yujin laughs at your fangirling. "by the way, did you think about my offer?"

you smile wider, excited to tell yujin "i did, and i decided i want to stay. korea has more to offer for me than the states at this point."

"yes! i can talk to the landlord about setting you up with an apartment and you can start working tomorrow!" she says, excited. "i can help you with getting a visa too!"

------<3------

almost a full month later, you pause while sweeping the floor, the realization of how much your life has changed finally hitting you. you now have a fully furnished apartment and are a legal citizen of korea. youre taking online college classes and yujin has helped you learn almost fluent korean, to the point where you rarely speak english anymore.

you cut off your family, letting them know you decided to live somewhere else before blocking their numbers. it felt great, not having to listen to their shit anymore.

the bell on the door jingles as you head to the storage closet, returning the broom. "be out in a second!" you call, placing it against the wall before returning to the front.

"OH MY GOD!" you scream in english, your knees fight to hold the rest of you up, shaking as you stared at the boy in front of you, his smirk beautifully annoying

it was heeseung.

of course it was heeseung. right when you had your hair in a messy bun, your makeup a little messed up from sweat and steam, and stains all over your apron

"hey y/n. long time no see!" he says, laughing at your frantic attemts to fix your damn self. this version of you was no match to the one he first met.

"h-hey heeseung... how are you?" you ask, bowing while mentally kicking yourself at the bland question.

"hungry. but good" he chuckles, "im assuming you work here?"

"what gave it away?" you ask, guesturing to the apron and counter. "what would you like?"

"I'll take a basic ramen and whatever youd like."

"what do you mean?" you say, confused "like... what i usually get?"

"yeah, we should catch up over some ramen!" he grins at you. "unless, you have to keep up the appearance of cool store worker. i get you might not want to be seen with me" he teased and you blush, giving him a smirk of your own

"ill get that for you, you can pick a table" and with that you rush to the kitchen, silently screaming as you whispered the situation to yujin.

"you mean... the boy you love-"

"shhh!" you say

she continues in a low voice. "-is here. in my shop? and he ordered you a ramen to eat with him?"

"yes! yujin im begging you, can you watch the front. this is a once in a lifetime chance!"

"of course! who am i to deny love?" she bustles around the kichen, helping you prepare the food.

you pull off the apron and desperately try to fix yourself. your hair is fine, but you have to take a quick bathroom break to fix your makeup and clothes. once you look mostly presentable to be around heeseung, you grab the ramen bowls and walk back out.

heeseung is still sitting there, now on his phone. he looked up at you and immediately stood to take the bowls and place them on the table. the action made the butterflies in your stomach flutter even faster.

"so y/n, are you living in seoul now? or is this just temporary?"

"well yeah i decided to stay after the fansign. seoul called to me, and i didnt want to go."

heeseung looks at you with his smirk. "was it because i live here?"

you sputter, unable to find a proper response. "i- no-... no. i wanted to stay because the u.s. didnt have anything for me. seoul is better."

his smile turns down in brightness, a concerned look on his gorgeous face. "can i ask why you didnt want to go back?"

"my family."

"oh," he frowns, and surprises you by grabbing your hand and holding it. you let a small gasp slip through your lips as he strokes your thumb with his. "if its any help, i have always believed that family is only worth how much they are willing to help you. if they dont try to help you in life, they arent worth it, no matter if they birthed you or gave you a home. if they dont even try to do anything beyond providing a roof for you, they are no more than a landlord or shelter director."

your eyes tear up at his kind words. "thanks heeseung," you whisper, your voice on the verge of cracking. "i needed that."

a tear falls loose from the hold you had tried to keep it in, and heeseung reaches his other hand out to wipe it away. "you are worth so much more than they will ever know."

your tears pour out in what feels like floods. heeseung moves his chair next to yours and wraps an arm around you.

"im sorry," you say, wiping the tears from your eyes. "i shouldnt cry around you. you deserve better"

heeseung grabs your chin and cups your jaw in both of his hands. "do not ever think i am better than you. we are the same person on the inside. you are beautiful and smart and kind. do not ever doubt yourself. do not ever let your family think you are less than you are."

you blush in his hands, pulling away and wiping your tears away. "thank you so much, heeseung."

"always." he hands you your bowl and moves his seat back across from you. "on a happier note, this ramen is delicious!"

"i know right?!" you turn to the kitchen door. "yujin! come out here!" you call

she practically runs out of the room, pulling a chair up to your table.

"hello! my name is yujin, are you y/n's boyfriend?"

your face blanches as heeseung looks at you. "no- yujin this isnt my boyfriend," you shoot her a death glare. "this is lee heeseung-"

he interrupts you, standing to bow to yujin. "y/n's future boyfriend." he stands back up with that trademark smirk at your shocked expression.

"how sweet!" yujin exclaims "i hear you are a singer?" she asks

"yes, i am! i am a member of a band called enhypen!" he smiles at yujin

"i have heard of you, and y/n sometimes plays your songs when we are cleaning at the end of the day!"

you hide your face in your hands, embarrassed out of your mind, but heeseung only laughs at your embarrassment. "really?!"

you feel like disappearing. why was yujin doing this to you?

------<3------

heeseung came to the shop at least three times a week since that day. he always sat down and talked with you, making you smile and laugh no matter what you were feeling.

"he likes you! i can see it it in his eyes!" yujin says, waving her spoon at you.

"that is absolutely ridiculous. he would not like me of all people. he probably feels more like an older brother. there is no way."

"whatever," yujin rolls her eyes at you. "if you dont think he does, just ask him. he isnt the kind of boy to be embarrassed to tell you if you ask."

"hell no! he wouldnt ever come back!" you stare at yujin. "i cannot screw up whatever friendship we have now."

"okay. but when he tells you one day, dont expect me to be quiet." she dances around you, humming "i told you so"

------<3------

heeseung comes in two days later, holding a bag. he walks up to where yujin was standing at the counter.

"hello yujin," he says with a bow. "where is y/n? i have something for her" he motions at the bag.

"she's in the kitchen. i can bring he-" but before she could finish, heeseung walks directly into the steamy room. he sees you standing over a boiling pot, stirring the contents.

you notice him standing in the doorway. "hey hee! come and try this. im working on a new broth to try."

he walks over to where you were standing, and you bring the spoon to his lips. he tries the warm liquid, and lets out a hum of appreciation. "thats amazing!"

"thank you," you turn off the burner and turn to him, leaning against the counter. "whats up?"

"oh," he fumbles with the bag. "i uh... i brought you something i thought you might like." he hands over the bag, and you pull out an apron.

"a new apron? why did you do this?" you blush, staring at the very good quality cloth and leather ties with brass clasps and white stitching.

"well, i noticed every time i come over you immediately take off your apron, and i thought it might be because you dont want me to see you with a really stained one, so i bought you this so you dont worry about imressing me. you shouldnt have in the first place anyways. i still thought you were adorable." heeseung rubs the back of his neck with his hand, blushing

you laugh at how sweet he is. "thank you so much, hee." you wrap him in a hug, your arms around his chest, and he hugs back. you breathe in his scent, wanting to remember it when the moment was over.

he pulls away, holding your shoulders at arms length. "listen, i have something else to tell you."

"whats up?"

"i... i think im in love with you." he lets out a deep exhale, as if he had been holding his breath since he came in.

"hee i-"

"no, before you say anything, you dont have to like me back. i just want you to know that i am falling in love with you, and its dangerous, but at this point, i dont care. you have made me so much happier this past month than you could ever know. the guys could all tell i had something making me so joyful, and it was you. y/n, i have started to feel 정 for you."

his words hit you like a brick. one of the first words that yujin had taught you was 정. it was one of the words that didnt have a direct translation in english, but in korean meant something like "you fit into the shape of my heart." it meant something deeper than love. he was basically calling you the missing piece to his heart.

you stutter over your words. "hee- i.... i knew that i loved you before we even met, but knowing the real you has only made my heart long for you even more. i love you too."

he smiles wider than you have ever seen, and brings you closer to him. "you dont know how long i have waited to do this." he says before pressing his lips against yours.

it wasnt your first kiss, but it was easily the best. the steam in the kitchen didnt affect how heeseung pressed against you, pushing his face against yours like he would never get the chance again. he grabbed your hips and pulled you so close that you could feel the outline of his abs against your breasts. you dropped the apron and flung your arms around his neck, threading your hands through his unruly hair

he groaned against your lips, slightly biting at your bottom one. you giggle as he pulls on your swollen mouth. his smirk against your lips feels more wonderful than you ever could have imagined.

but then you feel it

with your bodies pressed so close, it was impossibe not to. his dick was rapidly hardening against your stomach, and when you pulled away, his face flushed.

"i- im sorry y/n. i didnt mean to-" you cut him off by placing another swift kiss to his lips.

"its okay hee... do you want to...?" you let him finish what you both knew you were talking about.

"fuck, yes." he grabs the bag and shoves the apron in it, putting it on the counter before asking "where do i go?"

"the elevator is there. go to floor 7, room 3. heres the key." you say, fishing the key out of your pocket and he hurriedly ran out.

you poke your head into the shop, catching yujin's attention. "hey yujin, heeseung and i are gonna head out for a few hours. is that okay?"

"yup! we're closing up soon anyways. go have fun!"

"thanks!"

you race to the elevator out back, pressing the buttons frantically as you thought of what you were doing here. never in a million years would you ever have imagined you would be having sex with heeseung.

you open the door to your apartment and lock it quickly. running to the room, you find heeseung laying back on your bed, hands behind his head as he laid fully clothed and looking at you.

"what took you so long?" he jokes

"oh please." you walk over to the bed and climb on top of him, capturing his lips in yours again, straddling his waist as you ran your hands over his chest.

"off" you pull on his thin tee, trying to get him to remove the damn thing.

"of course, princess" he says while sitting up to pull off the fabric. when he removed it, he flips you over so you are under him. "but lets take yours too, hmm?"

you whine against his fingers pulling your tank top. "oh, hee-" you whimper as he palms one of your breasts, squeezing at your skin and slowly pulling your shorts off.

once your whole body was exposed to the cool air, he takes a moment to look at all of you. you shiver under his gaze, needing his touch.

"hee... please"

he grins and works his way down to your legs, spreading them wide and placing his head in front of your aching cunt. "do you want-"

"fuck, yes."

that was all he needed before he licked a stripe along your quivering slit. his tounge felt like fire against your skin.

but once he put it in? god you were wrecked.

he flicked in and out of you, bringing a hand to rub your clit while he thrust his tounge into you. when your walls clenched around him, he only dived deeper, his nose taking place of his fingers in the stimulation of your clit.

"oh hee.... god-" you moan and buck your hips up into his face, feeling his smirk on your mound. "shit- im going to cum" you say in english, not bothering with translations at the moment.

your legs squeeze around his head, holding him tightly against your pussy, forcing him to lick and suck at you until you came

when the band in your chest snapped and you released, heeseung latched his lips to you, taking all of your load into his mouth, moaning against you as he swallowed every last drop.

"you taste fucking amazing," he says. "like a fucking angel."

"hee.... in me please... i cant wait." you claw at his arm, trying to get him to fuck you.

"princess you have to wait for me to get ready." he laughs throatily, his voice hoarse from eating you out.

you watch as he pulls his pants and boxers off, exposing his fully hard dick. he grabs it by the base and pumps it a few rimes before climbing over you. "youre clean, right?"

"im a virgin actually... is that okay?" you blush, his look at you making you feel exposed.

"oh fuck, thats more than okay. shit, youre okay with this? youre on birth control right?"

"yeah i am. now get in me, please hee." you groan, your body needing his touch as much as he needed you.

when he brings your legs to your stomach and spreads them wide open, you let a soft scream escape your throat. he hadnt even entered you yet and it was already too much

heeseung looked gorgeous, hovering above you. his hair was messed up, tangled and stuck to his head in a mixture of sweat and some of your escaped cum. his lips were puffy and swollen from the work they had done on you

his arms and chest flexed as he lined up with your cunt. he slowly pushed his tip into you, making you moan from the strech. he inched his way deeper, bit by thick bit until he bottomed out in you, his hips flush against your ass. he leaned forward and kissed you, sucking on your lips while he waited for you to adjust.

"you can go hee. im ready" you say, waiting for his motions.

he started pulling out, only to push right back in again. he thrusted in and out, slowly building to a fast pace. the sounds of his skin against yours, the wet sounds of your pussy clenching around his cock, your stifled screams, all brought you closer to your second orgasm. the band in your stomach returned once again as heeseung pounded in and out of you, over and over. he threw his head back, moaning your name. "god, youre so fucking tight princess. gonna milk my cock all right huh?" he struggled to get the words out as he chased his own release.

when you whimpered against his lips, telling him you were close, he grunted in agreement. "me too princess. where do you want it?"

"in me... please hee"

he moans at your consent, the words all he needed to tip over the edge. his dick twitched erratically as his cum painted your insides white, filling you to the brim before you came too.

you both felt the high of your orgasms together, your nails digging into heeseung's arms, his hands squeezing your thighs so hard they were sure to leave marks. when you stopped spasming and he pulled out of you, heeseung went to get a towel to clean you, wiping your sweat and cum away.

"princess, you took so much of my cum. you gonna keep it there all night baby. leave me in you all night, huh?"

he layed next to you and pulled you close, holding you tightly against his chest. he whispered into your ear like you were the only person on earth.

"i love you so much princess. this doesnt feel like real life anymore"

and you respond with a sleepy nod and quick peck to his chest as you fall asleep in his arms for the first out of many times to come.

------<3------

a.n- i hope you enjoyed this one! it took me almost 4 days ToT

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trans-leek-cookie · 8 months ago

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very personal (arguably oversharing) but vague on details talking about. CSA and experiences in my life that idk how to like. Organize my thoughts on them. 👎 And also I genuinely couldn't care less Abt who reads this (minus like. Pls keep urself safe y'know) here's a mahjong tile 🀄 because idk

Thinking abt CSA is fucking weird bc there was an instance that (clothed and minimal physical contact. I don't wanna over share but Id feel weird not clarifying). I have trouble personally labeling bc like in my mind there wasn't intent to harm or like. Full Awareness of what what happening bc the other ppl involved were also my age. So I don't want to label them as abusers but at the same time I do think it affected me. But, besides that, the thing is I don't think the event was The Big Thing that fucked my relationship w sex/sexuality as a kid bc really That One Was The Internet. Like the reason The Thing happened was bc all of us as kids were exposed to porn at a young age and we didn't have the ability to really process what that meant and idk Abt them but my parents just tried to keep me away from that stuff rather than actually helping me process what I was seeing?

Especially since it wasn't even something that I really actually... Idk i sought it out bc I didn't understand it well more than actually being aroused by it so. Yeah I do wish my parents had given me more info there.

But to summarize basically I don't think that even was uniquely traumatic in that like. I don't want to downplay the fact it obviously still affects me but it honestly feels like. Idk it wasn't anyones fault directly it was just decisions that we all didn't have the proper context for (my peers and I lacked the info and experience to have informed consent when it came to sexual stuff and my parents didnt know how much sexual stuff i was seeking out bc I actively hid it from them) so like.

The way I'll put it is that if someone has The Exact Same Experiences I wouldn't say they Were Wrong to label it as CSA (specifically COCSA) but personally I think that label doesn't capture the way it registers and therefore affects my relationship w sexuality. I feel like I struggle with that in some ways bc it's a sorta... Hard to define gray area and I don't Like That. I want things to be defined and like fully dissected to I can understand them.

Then there's. Like. Another incident in which my dad exposed me to a movie that. Idk it was about strippers so it wasnt that it had A Sex Scene it was About Sex Work and shit. Also one of the fuckin. Trailers for other movies they put on DVD had a "please be 18" joke (it was a racecar driver getting flashed) that. Now idk if it was meant as like hopeful or worried? But I had to ask my dad to explain that to me and he did??????? And I barely remember his explanation but man what the fuck

Anyway it's another case of I don't want to call it CSA bc that implies there is An Abuser and that. Doesn't feel right. I guess. And not just bc like oh he's my dad he wouldn't do that

It's like i wasn't forced or coerced into watching I was just curious so I watched it. And I think the problem is the fact he didn't like. I don't know

Because I was getting exposed to sexual shit on my own, so I don't even think making me Not Watch it wouldve helped in the long run. I guess it's more that fuckign. Both of these things are singular incidents that are easy to remember bc of the fact they are identifiable as Incidents

But like. The thing is that I genuinely don't think those Incidents are the problem, because even if they didn't happen I would have still been exposed to sexual material that normalized fucked up ideas of consent and sexuality and sex. Like.

I guess the problem is less Abuse and more... Neglect? In that I wish adults around me had done more to explain consent and that sexual shit isn't Bad in some nebulous way but is like. Dangerous in the way a knife is.

Because the problem isn't the fact a knife is sharp the problem is that you arent careful when using the knife and hurt yourself or someone else (or someone else hurts you) and a knife can be used to hurt people because it's dangerous but that doesn't mean it's always bad it's just Dangerous. And also it should be kept out of kids' reaches until they understand how to safely interact w it

Also tangent: I don't think asexuality should b like pushed on kids or whatever but I think it's worth telling kids about because learning about asexuality as a (pre?)teen when I had known about sex since I was probably 7 ish? really helped prevent my relationship with sex getting worse

Mainly bc it taught me it was normal to not want sex and never want sex, and I think while some kids might think they're ace when they're just y'know. Kids who aren't interested in sex. I think it does help kids who have been exposed to sex contextualize their experiences more

Like. Explicitly having confirmation that sometimes people just don't have sex (which isn't exclusive to ace ppl there's just a lotta overlap) or experience sexual attraction Ever was helpful for me to fully understand the different parts of sex. And also I don't think it's the end of the world if some eleven yrs old thinks they're ace and when they become an adult they realize they were wrong or whatever.

#CSA ment #SA ment #COCSA ment #Just. General discussion of CSA and ''grey area'' experiences (not like I'm trying to downplay but I'm not sure ''abuse'' is the most #helpful way in terms of like. Personal Recovery + Understanding to define my experience. Complicated)#And not incest but I talk about how my parents not explaining Sex Better ended up w me.#Having a fucked up relationship w sexuality #And finally some shit about how learning Abt asexuality helped me personally in the end. Goodbye and stay safe

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willow-salix · 4 years ago

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This is going to be out of the blue and there's no need for a response to it, but I guess I feel like some of you deserve to get a peek behind my armour.

Facebook just gave me a memory from 7 years ago, showing me an album that I'd rather not see quite honestly, but you know when you're just drawn in even though you know it's against your better judgement? Yep, that was me just now.

The album is full of screenshots of the absolute shit ton of crap that I've had on the Internet over the years.

I was in the RP world for ten years, and in that time I was verbally and mentally attacked a lot, I was mentally abused, I was stalked, I was blamed for things I never did, I was used as a scapegoat for things I never did. I was the victim of unwarranted attacks that had my accounts deleted by fb so that I lost YEARS of writing.

I got my heart broken over and over again by people that claimed tk be my friends, people that claimed to love me but that were all too happy to dump me the second a better option came along. People that I sat up all night with, that I lost sleep over, that I went out of my way to help and support.

Some of them lied to me so throughly that they lied about who they were, where they lived, their job, their gender, their nationality, what other characters /accounts they had and everything else you could think of for over TWO years.

I've had one that claimed to be my best friend, sit on my couch, my actual couch, in my house and lie to my face. Lie to me and his long term partner and mother of his three kids that he wasnt cheating with a cheap bitch he met online (the third person he'd done it with I found out after) I only found out about her when she messaged me to tell me.

I stopped talking to him, after their friends started a smear campaign against me, and even then EVEN THEN, I talked it out and started talking to him again. But he turned it around and started blaming me and guilt tripping me again. So I cut him off. He stalked me. Like messaging my friend, posting things to me (actual letters through the mail) making new accounts to message me, buying new phone sims to call me. This was 6 years ago. He called me at the start of lockdown and left a message on my voicemail.

This man mentally abused me. He'd force me to talk to him when I had a problem and then he'd not like what I said, so he'd go silent and ignore me for up to three days, to the point that I'd worked myself up so much that I was apologising, that I was taking the blame for having feelings, only when he got that would he talk to me.

He was an alcoholic who worked in care if you can believe that, I supported him through him getting sober again, he still did all that to me.

I gave up on role play and let my character, my home, the one place I felt comfortable and safe, up. And I didn't go back for two years. I got talked around by someone, they made promises, I stupidly fell for it.

I then got used to bring their character back and to help them sort out storylines. I was then told they didn't want to work with me anymore because they had too much going on in their personal life, they blocked me and I then got screenshots that that had another writing partner already.

That broke me. That broke me and fandom and people and everything really.

I vowed never to go back.

Then I stumbled upon you lot. And I told myself not to get involved, not to start talking to anyone, not to start trusting again. Now look! Now bloody look!

I'm what... 500k + in a story that was never meant to be, I'm actually writing and collabing with people again and I have a character that I adore and feel just as comfortable with... And that is fucking scary.

It's sooooo scary. Like terrifying scary to me.

Because I'm having to trust again. Selene is like public property now, and I love how much everyone has accepted and adopted her and how they use her and write her too, that warms this cold, dead, suspicious heart of mine.

Because I can honestly say that Selene and John saved me and my sanity.

I am quite a sociable person, I love to chat to people and if I'm your friend I will go out of my way to do my best for you, to be there for you and to support you in every way I can. But I know I can be used and I dotn always see the bad in people. So I cut myself off and refused to allow myself to make friends again.

I was writing my novels and that was it. No interaction, no fun really. Then this loud mouthed witch blazed into my head, took one look at the spaceman and said "that one, he's mine, wrap him up I'll take him to go" and here she is.

They made writing fun again, they made it spontaneous and exciting, I suddenly had ideas again, people to talk to about the characters I love and it was hard. Because it was also good.

I had to trust the process, trust Selene.

But I'm also so wary. I'm wary that I'm gonna piss people off, that I'm going to annoy people with her and that people hate her. I know people don't like OCs' and I get major anxiety about that.

I've never had this amount of anxiety over stories before, never. Not my rp, not my novels, not the ones I did for class or competitions, nothing. This is singularly the most stressful writing I've ever done. Because these boys, they mean the world to me, they always have. They have always been my happy place since I was 5/6, they have always been my heart and home.

The problems I had in rp made me not like the books that I loved, the fandom I was in, because of peoples interpretations of the characters, the way they played them and the fact that they were so nasty to me. And I really really don't want that to happen here.

A few weeks ago I noticed that an account had bene set up that was clearly a piss take of me, of this account. And all the old fears and anxiety came rushing back. I instantly went running to Squiddy and Olliepig and basically tumbled around the group chat in a mess for a few minutes before I calmed down and realised what was going on and had a guess at who it could be.

But it's scary. Because I've been stalked, I've been badmouthed, I've had people make fake accounts of me to cause trouble, and it weighs on me.

Willow Salix is my author name, I had to choose that because my Pagan name (which I was writing under and still do on ff and a03) was too well known and my stalkers were reporting it every time I made a new account.

I had to come to love this name, come to see it as myself (willow is my actual real name btw) and feel comfortable with it. It's taken a long time, I've built my brand from it. I have five novels out under it. And to think of someone having an account with even a parody of that name gave me all sorts of chills.

I'm OK now, but yeah. Fun times.

So I guess... I just want people to talk to me. And I don't mean shine by ego lol, I mean that if I ever do anything to piss you off. If I ever say anything you don't like. If I ever annoy you with Selene or anything at all, PLEASE just come and talk to me.

I might put on a tough mask, and in general I am pretty hardy, but I'm a typical cancerian, hard outer shell, squishy inside.

Selene is my sanity in a home life that is far from easy, I won't go into major details but disabled husband, I'm a full time carer, he's majorly depressed and it's just... Yeah. Anyway, she's my refuge, she's my escape right now.

Actually making a side blog for her took so much guts, to allow her free rein to speak and act is scary as heck for me. Because I've been there and vowed to never go back.

The only good thing I took out of all my years of rp, apart from being able to make up a story pretty much on the spot, spontaneous replies, dialogue skills and character development, is my best friend in all the world @endellionaeternus who has seen it all and stuck by me through it all.

I have no real idea why I just typed all this, I guess I needed people to see where I'm coming from, and why Selene exists.

Yeah...

#oc roleplay #oc rp #selene tempest #thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds 2015 #thunderbirds fanfiction #thunderbirds fandom #paranormalromance #john tracy

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angelicmichael · 4 years ago

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Oohh, could you do number 10 from the physical affection prompts? "Lifting someone up out of excitement"? Maybe a pregnancy announcement or love confession with whichever Cody guy you feel most inspired by?

A/N: sooo I decided to use duncan for this prompt since I've never written for him before!! Also, I like a challenge so.. I made this both a pregnancy announcement and love confession 👉🏻👈🏻 hope you dont mind!! I hope you enjoy this dear anon 💖. This is a bit long and plot heavy hehe

Waking up to extreme nausea was not how you had originally planned to spend last weekend. What was supposed to be a fun weekend with your friends.. and fuck buddy.. only ended in you becoming best friends with the toilet with one too many plans cancelled.

You hated being sick; but feeling sick and miserable and guilty at the same time was beyond overwhelming. Most of your friends forgave you and understood why you had to reschedule plans. However... your fuck buddy which went by the name 'Duncan' wasnt going to be so forgiving.

Not at first anyway; you knew he would come around eventually.. give or take a few days.

Although, Duncans opinion of you was not the only thing you were stressed out about lately. You also wanted to know why the fuck you got so sick so fast.

It wasnt flu season, you had no reason to be sick, it certainly was not food poisoning... There was only 'one' thing it could still be..

You could be fucking pregnant.

Being pregnant in itself was not something you dreaded; being a mother was something you always knew you wanted to be, and would be one day.

The problem of being pregnant here had to do with 'who' the father would be. And that would be none other than Duncan fucking Shepard.

You knew it was him; you hadn't had sex with anyone in months besides him. Plus.. you two weren't exactly the most careful either when it came to using protection. You knew deep down if you were really pregnant at all; it would have to be with his baby.

Although, things still werent as simple as they seem.

Again, you really had no doubt that Duncan would make a good father, it was just the circumstances you two were in currently that complicated things.

He didnt know you loved him. You two weren't official, you two just happened to be really good friends who, you know.. had sex.

You were nearly certain he didnt love you back, not in the way that you meant anyway. You knew instinctively that when he said 'I love you' to you that he meant it in a way that he would say to his friend or family.. That's probably all he saw you as anyway, just as a friend or family.

That thought made you sick if you started to think that's how you can duncan could end up forever unless you or him made a move. It was a thought that frequently plagued you and even gave you insomnia most nights.

Those thoughts of you and Duncans 'relationship' are what caused you to get a pregnancy test. You needed to know why the fuck you were sick, and if those thoughts about you and Duncan were rational or simply your anxiety attempting to manifest. And of course to your fucking demise, it was a positive test.

You first sat in shock; and then you did the most stupid thing you could think of - you called Duncan.

Of course you didnt outright tell him, you only told him that you needed to see him ASAP and that he needed to come over to see you.

That was about 20 minutes ago.

You awaited for him anxiously in your apartment; you sat on your bed - fully clothed with a bit of makeup splashed on your face in a attempt to look put together. You were absolutely terrified to even think about what the fuck was about to happen.

Your thoughts were racing as you sat in the dark. You didnt even bother turning on the lights; the blinds were drawn as well. Sitting in the dark was kind of comforting - it made everything feel less real.. As if you were dreaming. Although, the anxiety you still felt reminded you that you were in fact, still awake. You truly had no clue what kind of conversation you were about to have.

You didnt even jump when you heard the front door loudly pop open, you had given him one of the keys to your apartment. You listened diligently to his loud footsteps echoing in the living room, as he gradually grew closer and closer to your room. Then, the door opened as you inhaled.

Duncan looked distraught as he entered the room. His hair was slightly disheveled, his outfit looked slightly wrinkled as well. Overall, he looked put together but the longer you stared at him - the more apparent it was that he wasnt okay. He wasted no time in getting to you once he opened the door, it almost threw you off guard at how calm he looked.. something you weren't expecting. You nearly laughed at how out of character this was for Duncan.

"Hey, are you okay"? Duncan asked, speaking rather quickly.

You watched as Duncan hurriedly but cautiously approached you; sitting next to you on your bed.

"I- I mean, yeah I'm okay. I just wanted to see you". You (semi) smoothly lied, thinly smiling in a attempt to try to sell your poorly told lie.

He rolled his eyes and gave you a look as if he automatically knew you were giving him bullshit.

"(Y/n), I know your sick, baby. Just tell me the truth". He said.

Your heart leapt into your throat once you heard him call you the petname. Duncan definetly called you pet names before but it was a rare, once in a long time type of thing. However, it felt like to you that the fact he called you 'baby' only solidified what you knew you had to do.

You had to tell him.

He deserved to know; and you deserved to move on with your life or to attempt too.

"Duncan.. I.. I cant keep doing this anymore". You started, speaking slowly. Your words tumbled fast out of your mouth, knowing that Duncan was about to interrupt you any minute.

"I need you to decide whether you want to be fully committed to me, or to not be in my life at all. I dont really know how to say this but, I'm in a stage of my life where I cant 'fake' be with you, Duncan. I cant only be with you behind closed doors. That's just.. not going to work anymore". You said confidently.

Even though you sounded confident, you really felt quite the opposite. You had no idea what to expect of how he would react. What if he just left?? What if he didnt want to be with you, at all??

You held your breath as he continued to sit next to you; the silence almost deafening.

You looked over at Duncan, he studied his hands which were clasped together over his knees. He looked as if he wanted to speak but he couldnt get the words out... until he finally did break the silence.

"So, what are you suggesting? What are you trying to get at here, exactly"? He prompted. His voice was still slow and calm but he sounded slightly irritated and on edge. You couldnt blame him.

Your mouth grew dry as you shifted uncomfortably. You were thankful he responded but yet.. you now were the one at a loss for words.

"I'm suggesting that.. we should start dating. I cant keep doing this-" You started but Duncan made you ate your words as he interrupted you with a rough kiss.

You felt the world stop and almost turn into slow motion as you really started to melt into the kiss. You let your previous anxiety inducing thoughts melt away the longer you two kissed, as you focused on being present in the moment.

After Duncan slowly and begrudgingly pulled away from you, you two sat in silence for a couple seconds.

"So that's why your acting like this"? Duncan asked with a sly smirk.

You swore it was as if he already knew the answer, yet chose to ask you anyway just to be a smartass.

"So.. you actually want to date me?? Your know what your agreeing too, right"? You said, partially teasing and.. actually being serious.

"(Y/n), do you really think I would be talking to you this long if I had no interest in you? Of course I want to date you, what kind of question is that"?! Duncan retorted playfully with a quiet chuckle.

You grinned, letting out a shallow laugh with the realization that the biggest news still remained untold; a deep pit felt like it resided in your stomach.

You weren't quite out of the woods yet.

In order to help relieve your anxiety, you suddenly stood up off your bed. You paced around your room, running a hand shakily through your hair.

"I still have to tell you something". You admitted, your back turned to him.

There was no way you could even fathom making eye contact with him now. To your horror, you could hear your bed gently squeak as you could only guess as he stood up.

By the time you felt his hand on your shoulder, it was too late to even hear his footsteps. You jumped and turned around with a sharp inhale - to your surprise, nearly chest to chest with the main himself.

Duncan.

"What are you trying to hide for, hm"? He said teasingly.

He moved his face closer to yours; his lips *so* close to yours. The corner of your mouth upturned in a small closed mouth smile.

You uttered a quick, "I'm not". As you stole a quick kiss.

You anxiously took a few paces back. Taking a deep breath before whipping around and making eye contact on a sudden spurt of courage you felt.

"I'm pregnant, Duncan". You spoke.

You felt almost as if you were dreaming when you saw his reaction, he was fucking smiling. Was he actually fucking happy?!

You stood there frozen as he quickly approached you and gently held your waist. Before you could even comprehend or really even complain of what was happening - you felt him gently lift you up and give you a quick spin before landing you back down safely on your feet.

Duncans smile was infectious; before you knew it you were grinning and laughing along with him.

Any doubt you previously had immeadietly disintigrated and was replaced with hope and joy. You knew Duncan was going to make the best father, and that you two only had your lives ahead of you.

Taglist: @mina672 @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakewaterxx @dark-mei-rose @9layerdevilfoodcake @prophecy-is-inevitable @matildaofoz @beautyiswithinchaos @frenchlangdon @beyond-repentance

#i hope i wrote duncan in character 😭#also let me know if u wanna be on the taglist!!#i wrote this about a week ago.. in the span of like 2 days lmao #ive litealy never wrote that fast EVER haha #also a fun fact: i 'probably' had covid when i wrote this dhdhd so.. if things dont make sense im blaming it on covid brain #duncan x reader #duncan shepherd x reader #hoc #house of cards #fanfiction #duncan shepherd #my fic #my works

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peralta-guaranteed · 4 years ago

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ok ok i have a random headcanon prompt!! what about amy really really wanting for breastfeeding to work because everyone says it's the best including her family giving her all the pressure but it turns out it just doesn't work for them.. how would she handle it

(oh noo 😭 that thought makes me so sad... They fought so hard for bébé I want Amy to have the newborn experience she dreamed of having! But it's pretty realistic...)

Going home from a doctor's visit has never really had a positive connection for Jake, to be honest, and their many saddening appointments during their trying phase did not help with that. (Of course he went along to all of them, even if they sometimes only needed Amy there. They were in this together, after all.)

This latest one really is not much better. It's another one where he wasn't actively needed - but he's glad he tagged along. If only to be the designated driver and babywrangler while Amy sat with the consultant. She'd had problems with breastfeeding, which the books said would be pretty normal for a first time mom, but she'd still wanted the opinion of an expert.

Well, she'd gotten that opinion now, and it really wasnt an uplifting one.

"You don't seem to have enough milkflow for the baby to really learn how to feed. We can prescribe supplements, and there are a lot of home remedies to increase flow, but it might not change anything. I'd advise getting the baby used to formula as well, to be on the safe side."

Amy looked so forlorn in the backseat, playing with Mac's perfect little foot to keep him entertained during the drive home. She hadn't really said anything ever since they left the doctor's office, and neither had Jake. He didn't feel like he was in any position to add something of worth to that particular topic, anyway.

She only spoke up once they were back home, Mac already asleep from that exciting venture outside of the apartment he'd called his homebase for the past two weeks.

"I can't believe my body is failing at this whole motherhood thing again." She laments. "It's really just not meant to be, is it?"

"Hey, don't say that." Jake pulls her into a hug that she only half returns. "Your body did an amazing job growing Mac so perfectly and bringing him into the world."

"I just... Maybe it's old fashioned or archaic, but I really wanted to breastfeed. It's important."

Jake isn't sure if that's really 100% true, but he's not going to question a woman about what her body is supposed to be doing, least of all his wife. So he does what he does best instead - looks for the silver lining.

"Hey, the doc said there's stuff that can help. We got those hormon supplements. I'm gonna buy every damn thing that has fenugreek in it tomorrow, and those teas and stuff too. We'll make it work."

"But what if it doesn't? Mac's already not latching right, and he needs to feed so much more than he does, and it's going to make him sick and-"

"He's devouring the special newborn formula they gave us at the hospital like it's orange soda or something. He's not going to starve, babe. We'll get him used to normal formula when it's time, too."

"Okay." Amy sighs again, leaning out of the hug and staring towards the nursery door, where Mac is snoring away and will probably wake up hungry soon enough, screaming for... Well, either the boob or his bottle, whichever works. Jake still has a hard time really understanding what's so bad about formula milk - if it exists as an option, it can't be that bad?

"My mum always said 'breast is best'..." Amy almost answers his unspoken question while she slumps onto the couch.

"I know you like those kind of mnemonics, but just because it rhymes doesn't make it true." He gets an appreciative glance at the fact that he remembered the word mnemonic, but its still not enough to make Amy smile again. "In the end, I think whatever keeps our little boy healthy and happy is what's best. Not what your mom or anyone else says."

Amy nods, still staring sadly into nothing. Jake sits down next to her, grips her knee and gives it a soft squeeze and a supportive smile as she leans back into him, her head on his shoulder like she so often does to steady herself.

"You're right, I know you are. I can just already hear the whole clan telling me off for 'not doing it right'. Like they did with all the pregnancy stuff already."

He hums, his hand sliding from her knee to her thigh and rubbing there gently.

"Remember what I did when they started that, though?"

At that, Amy stifles a little giggle.

"I remember some very long rants from you and debates in group chats. And once during family dinner. Didn't you tell my brother that unless he gets pregnant himself, he really shouldn't have an opinion on what my uterus does or how I handle it?" She vividly remembers the little gasp her usually so stoic dad did at Jake's very medically-informed word usage. He definitely got some good kisses as a reward for that.

"Yeah." Jake nods. "So if they start again, I'm just gonna double down on that."

She kisses his cheek, finally smiling just a little bit.

"My knight in shining armour." She quips, but there's hint of true appreciation in the joke.

"Anything for you, babe." He grins back. "And for Mac, too, of course."

The aforementioned seems to have heard his name, because there's a very obvious whine from the half open nursery door, which they know is going to evolve into a cry any second. Jake pats Amy's thigh to tell her to stay while he's already getting up.

"We're gonna work it out one way or the other, babe. And if nothing works - look at the bright side: that just means I can take over all night duties if need be. I know how to warm a bottle now, after all."

Amy smiles properly as she watches him walk away and then re-emerge with a only snuffling, not crying infant against his chest. She really couldn't have asked for a better father to her children, she thinks as he still hands Mac over with "Wanna give it a try anyway? “ and she nods.

They're gonna try. It worked itself out the last time, too. Whatever it takes.

#b99 #brooklyn 99 #jake peralta #amy santiago #peraltiago #mac peralta #My writing #Ficlet

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just-a-fangirl13 · 4 years ago

Text

Why s5 *might* be the season MacRiley happens

Okay so...Hear me out! I'm not crazy I promise!!

Firstly, after 5x03 (and probably 5x04) it may seem very unlikely that MacRiley could ever happen. But I thought of a few reasons why they might actually happen by the end of s5 after all.... (it gets a lil long winded and kinda complicated but just stick with me till the end!)

1. All the MacRiley moments including the ones in 5x03.

[this Mac smile could not be an accident or something that slipped through both production and post-production right?! that in itself is a whole reason!]

Every Macriley moment we have ever had- whether it's the hugs, Riley saving Mac, Mac saving Riley, the ultimate show of loyalty when Riley went after Mac during Codex or even just the looks exchanged between the two- to any outsider it would seem pretty obvious that they are dating or at least in love. Keep in mind the writers would have written each of those scenes and Lucas and Tristan have acted them out with a specific build up in mind aka MacRiley.(think about the date episode: Riley just got dumped but was still thinking about how Mac might be hungry. She didnt have to do that. She could have just shown up at his place..) I mean how can they write two people so perfectly in sync and so perfect for each other and not have them end up together? It would just be a waste of all that tension and slow burn. (not to mention all the hugs and glances)

2. They know we exist.

The MacRiley fam is very active on twitter with the writers and while they were writing 5x01 they knew we were around. They know we are a huge group. They would not want to risk pissing 90% of the fandom off by not making MacRiley endgame.

[P.S.yes 5x03 was a bait and switch but if you were paying attention you would have noticed that neither Lucas not Tristan live tweeted or hyped up the episode. They knew we would probably hate it so they didnt publicise it too much! so in the future if you have doubts about the episode being a MacRiley one just check their stories or posts on twitter/intstagram]

3. Yes 5x03 happened.

I really think it was an episode they HAD to write. Ok so after 4x13 they had 7 more episodes planned and were filming 4x20 (aka the finale) when the pandemic struck. So they have these 6 episodes but no finale for it. [Idk if anyone else has noticed but in 5x01 there were clearly some parts cut out. For example the conversation between Desi and Riley towards the end seemed a bit jilted. Riley asking Desi to forgive her but Desi replied with yeah we are cool (still no apology ofc) I feel like something happened during that which ended up getting cut out so it could fit with the final story.]

This makes me think that they have rewritten a few bits to tie into the new finale episode. In 5x03 when Mac asked Desi to come fishing with him which was clearly something very personal to him she was like no do better.. then we see Mac's disappointed expression. She could have easily said okay but maybe not for our first date? Or its not really my thing? Or just about anything else rather than laughing in his face like that. Eventhough MD is together they still arent compatible. Mac’s final words in 5x03 was him being desperate. I truly think he is so broken and lost that Desi is the only safe thing left, the only thing he feels like he can fix right now. Once he finds himself again and heals...then it's going to hit him like a pile of bricks!!

4. But Riley doesn't have feelings anymore...WELL doesnt she?

When it comes to Mac, Riley is always in denial. We saw it in s4 when she tells Bozer not to make her say it. I think s5 will show her finally accepting it. Finally accepting that she is in love with her best friend and that it definitely isnt Codex adrenaline because she caught the feels when Codex wasnt even around. While Mac's arc would include realising he and Desi are never going to work and that he is unhappy and that RILEY is the one for him.

[why else would they give Riley feelings for Mac? Something has to come of it.]

5. The slow burn rule.[this point is a lil complicated]

Now season 5 is rumoured to have 13 episodes. So here’s what I think: If MacGyver follows the pattern that most shows do when it comes to slow burns, then technically MacRIley should have happened at the end of season 4. But since the season got cut short and they didnt get to air/finish their final episode the writers had to improvise.

From what I know, 4x19 which is 5x04 for us is the episode where Mac meets Desi’s parents and 4x20 was supposed to be the finale that was left unfinished.(they are definitely moving the timeline ahead if a pre finale episode is suddenly a mid season one.) There might have been a 4x21 or 4x22 but I haven't heard anything about those....EVER.

So what I think they have decided to do instead is extend the MD storyline a bit longer just so they dont end up scrapping all their s4 episodes where they would be together and write a new finale that ties everything together, aka MacRiley.

If you think about episode counts, s4 and s5 together would have 26 episodes which is a how long a normal season runs. Basically what im trying to say is if we follow the ‘slow burns end by s4’ and take season 5 as an extension of 4 then MacRiley should get together in the season 5 finale or maybe the episode just before. (IM REALLY TRYING TO GET SOME LOGIC INTO THIS)

This would be a typical TV thing too where the couple finds out about each other’s feelings while the main arc of the show is also at its peak, which perfectly sets up a future season where fans are hyped but still has a satisfying ending.

6. So what about MacDesi?

So far the macgyver writers have given us characters we love. Think of every character on the show apart from maybe Desi... Mac, Riley, Bozer, Jack, Matty, Leanna, Samantha, Russ and even Murdoc. WE LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. So then why is Desi such a strange character? I think shes purposely been written as an opposite to Mac or even Riley (I get she’s supposed to kinda replace Jack but Jack is really irreplaceable).

It's not necessarily a bad thing its just not a great thing to do or have great execution. People have said things like Desi is a badass and shouldnt have to apologise or say I love you back to her boyfriend because she is a strong woman...I'm sorry but your opinion of who a strong woman is, is EXTREMELY skewed. A strong woman is someone who can make mistakes and when she does, she is ‘strong’ enough to own up to it, she is loyal and fierce and also caring while being a badass who can take down bad guys. And for GODS SAKE, RILEY DAVIS IS A STRONG WOMAN...people have called her mushy and feminine on twitter and I'm just very confused by that.....

Anyways before I go off on a rant, it seems like Desi is intentionally being written this way. Every opportunity they get to redeem her and make her more relatable or just a better person they just dont take it. While Rileys character arc is one of the best I've ever seen. Either its intentional or they’ve forgotten how to write characters...which is worrisome but ill give them the benefit of the doubt.

The writers also know we dont like Desi. The amount of times we've tagged them in the toxic posts or pointed out problematic things we can be sure they've seen at least half of those. So theres no way they dont know. RIGHT?

So why then is MD still a thing you may ask??

Well for one they cant break them up again off screen because of those unreleased s4 episodes. (not to mention the other parts of the audience who arent as invested in mac’s love life would probably be very confused.)

Secondly Mac has to be the one to pull the plug, not Desi. 4x13 made it seem like Desi was the annoyed one not Mac. He apologised to her which meant he wanted to fix things.

Thirdly, they are opening the chpt one last time before they permanently close it. MD is going to be a stark contrast to macriley(it already is in every way possible). Every issue Mac and Desi had can be used to show how amazing macriley really is as two people who arent even dating yet.

Fourthly, MD being together is a sort of commentary on Macs mental health as well. We can see how happy he is with Riley but around Desi he becomes some one else. If the writers are doing this on purpose or subconsciously still remains to be seen.

And Yes keeping MD around for a few more episodes seems like a necessary risk right now but I have a feeling its going to be worth it later.

[I know we have had like 4 desi entered episodes already but I really think 5x04 will be the last of it since 5x05 is the Jack episode and 5x06 is Mac+Riley+Bozer episode with no mention of Desi at all!]

The writers know we are a dedicated bunch and they know that once MD breaks up for the last time the entire fandom will be waiting and watching. That's when the show will be at its peak. That will be the perfect moment to bring in MacRiley’s arc to a new start!

Congrats if you stuck with me through this whole thing! if you agree/disgaree with any of these or have other reasons why they could be endgame in s5 let me know!!

#MacGyver #Angus MacGyver #macgyvercbs #Riley davis #macriley #cbs #macxriley #macriley is endgame #otp #wilt bozer #Matilda webber #Lucas till #Tristin Mays #cbsmacgyer #russ taylor #macisback #macgyver season 5

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harley-style · 5 years ago

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@hiccups-peg-leg, this is for you (your fuckin username man, its glorious)

HI AND WELCOME TO 100 + 1 REASONS I'M BEGINNING NOT TO LIKE HTTYD:THW

Disclaimer: It might not actually reach 50 reasons because I have a healthy amount of concern for my fingers

It makes sense as the final part of a trilogy, for them to separate, but the whole set up of how the separation goes was...blargh.

Hiccup was not acting like himself.

Neither was Toothless, actually.

Astrid was weaker in supporting Hiccup. I mean, don't get me wrong, she was still as badass as always, but never have I been more uncomfortable with her way of "supporting" Hiccup throughout this entire movie.

"You gave him his freedom, what did you expect?" BITCH WHAT

THIS IS NOT SOME CALL OF THE WILD BULLSHIT WHAT THE FUCK

part of the reason Toothless STAYED even when Hiccup presented him with an automated tail was because he preferred BERK. you know, a civilised, NOT WILD settlement even if Toothless himself was a wild dragon prior

in fact NONE of the dragons were being forced to stay there. Which means they CHOSE to stay with humans.

Why was there no internal conflict between Berk? Why are they all just following Hiccup after some discussion about "Berk is not a place, its the people and our dragons!"??? Just???? They didn't feel like a village at all, is what I'm saying.

For the record, I think Valka and Cloudjumper would have been harder to separate because these two were together for like twenty years why wouldn't they stick together???

Toothless should not have been the King of the Hidden world. there are several reasons.

1 - he was already a bad fucking leader when it came to priorities. he chose his MATE over his FLOCK. what the absolute fuck. 2- in coming to the hidden world, he promptly forgot about the BERKIAN FLOCK THAT HE HAD RESPONSIBILITIES TO. 3- it just doesnt make sense for all dragons to have bowed to him accepting him as their king. Night Furies are deadly, but they are not of the Dragon king breed. Toothless only managed that title because he FOUGHT a fucking dragon of that SPECIFIC breed. 4- he's horny as fuck. I'm sorry, it had to be said. He and the Light Fury have met for, what, a week at most? And already he's in love? Give me a fucking break. but anyways, my point is, if he dropped EVERYTHING HE KNEW AND LOVED for a person he BARELY GOT TO KNOW, then he should not have been made leader in the first place. 5- this is more personal, but fuck the fucking fact that he left hiccup for this unknown stranger. its like his human didnt even MATTER to him at all. which brings me to my next point.

why the ever loving FUCK did the team EVER imply that hiccup and toothless were SOULMATES if all they were gonna do is separate them and have toothless forget hiccup entirely.

are the dragons intelligent, sentient creatures

or are they just wild animals capable of replicating human behavior without understanding the deeper implications of it

because if the latter was true, then what the FUCK was the first two movies for?

the hidden world cannot exist in a geological scale. it cannot sustain itself either. if toothless did somehow recall EVERY dragon, then the ecosystem of the hidden world is suddenly shot to fucking hell.

the movie basically spat to our faces that romantic love is stronger than the power of friendship. and family.

im pretty sure GOTNF was canon, and THW just spits all over its message and story.

what happened to my badass dragon riders, dreamworks?

okay ill be honest A LOT of my issues with this movie are centered around toothless and hiccup

berk did not need to be separated from its dragons. in fact, dragons leaving berk, realistically speaking, would actually be detrimental to berk.

for one thing, theyd be totally cut off from the rest of the world -- they suddenly relocated without any warning, to a place where no one had actually explored thus far. traders would not have known where to find them and, if they were in the merchant thinking mode, would cut their losses and find some other village to trade to. so new berk isnt gonna get any support for a long while.

berk chose an island than can only be safely accessed via dragons. do you see where im going with this?

by choosing to LET DRAGONS GO, hiccup and toothless have now condemned Berk into a generation of hardship, one that will make its people struggle with getting supplies, rebuild their homes, and basically a lot of their basic survival needs.

and MIGHT I ADD, hiccup has REVOLUTIONIZED the viking way of life by INCORPORATING dragons into it. what happens when that system suddenly loses a big chunk of what made that system work?

may i also add that hiccup has also REVOLUTIONIZED the term BIG DUMBASS when referring to decisions that were made.

im also salty about how quickly toothless forgot about hiccup when entering the hidden world. like, holy fuck, i cannot even begin to explain how dreadful i felt when toothless was just "oh fuck yeah" in that glowing neon underground while poor hiccup was like "do you think he's okay?"

if it were me, toothless would at least be having a moment to himself, looking at his tail, and you can clearly see in his eyes, "what about my human? what about berk?" before getting distracted. I would have accepted at LEAST that.

nope. we get a toothless reluctantly going back to hiccup and new berk, resentful and somber as he longs for, what, a home?

goddamn it i hate the hidden world in the movie the hidden world. i like the movie, i really really do, but that fucking plot device grates my fucking brain.

RTTE handled a dragon haven a lot better.

Vanaheim was a perfect place for wild dragons to settle but dreamworks fucking abolished that idea

i KNOW vanaheim is like a resting place for sick dragons but like

if hiccup was half as smart as he was the first two movies thw wouldnt have been a thing in the first place.

its really, really hard for me to defend a movie i liked the first time i watched it when the only things i can see from it are toothless not caring enough about hiccup and hiccup making the niggest mistake of his life.

this movie honestly felt like emotional manipulation. watching it i always remembered the other two movies, which should NOT have happened. when i watched the second movie (and may i add i barely remembered a thing about the first movie at the time) i was so MOVED to the point of TEARS. i had no context and i was moved to tears anyway. THW constantly pulled at my nostalgia strings and indirectly and directly called back to the first two movies and that just....what???

and that's it.

i mean if youd like to add more feel free to, probably missed some there

and there are a couple of ao3 essays that depict the same reasons i have. just put the tag "the hidden world" in your filters uwu

one last thing: despite the reasons i mentioned above i did enjoy watching thw, im just sayin it took me a long time and a lot of reading to figure out that, no, thw wasnt as great as the hype made it seem.

this isnt meant as an attack to people who like THW. i understand that this movie is special to you and I have no right to take enjoyment from you. im just laying out the reasons of why I personally don't agree with what happened in THW.

#httyd #the hidden world #hiccup horrendous haddock iii #toothless #httyd thw #how to train your dragon #the salt of the hidden world

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anythingandeverything1d · 5 years ago

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Plum Sized

Part 1: Congratulations Part 2: Im having your baby

The next few weeks had gone by in a blur. Harry had left again to do some more writing, promising he would be back for your next ultrasound and doctors appointment. Luke was still getting over the fact that you had just let Harry back into your life like that, but since Harry hadn't really been around much he was warming back up to the idea a little bit more and had started coming over more, specifically in the mornings which had been really hard for you. You had woken up every morning with extreme morning sickness. You couldn't eat for hours, you felt dizzy and threw up multiple times. Certain smells and foods just made you want to vomit at the thought.

You were laying in bed trying to avoid throwing up when Luke walked in with a smile. “Morning beautiful, figured you might still be sick and in bed so I brought you a smoothie. Shouldn't have any weird smells or anything so I thought it might be worth a shot.” He handed you a large smoothie and sat on the edge of the bed. “How are you doing?”

You took the smoothie and thanked him before taking a small sip. It actually tasted amazing and nothing about it so far had made you sick so that was a big plus. “Not too bad....still just so nauseous. I mean the sight of food, the idea of food, it all just makes my stomach turn. I’m also just getting nervous about the appointment. I have to have my blood drawn and then we will probably find out the gender from that and of course it’s Harry’s first time going to an appointment so thats extra pressure because well because its Harry.” you sighed taking another sip and sitting up.

Luke nodded. “Have you heard much from him recently?”

“No...he’s been busy writing I think.” You bit your lip. Truth is after Harry had spent the night, he had waken up and left. You had hoped there might be something left to reconcile but he was really only interested in the baby. He had left the following afternoon even though you had asked him to stay. All you wanted was for him to actually step up, to be there for you the way he said he wanted to be. “He should be coming here tonight so that he doesn't miss the appointment..”

“Well I hope for your sake he does.”

“I’m sure he will but anyways lets talk about something else. What have you been up to? What’s new in your life?”

“Uh not a lot...I do have a date tomorrow though.”

“A DATE?!”

Luke laughed and grinned, “Yeah I met this girl, her name is Kayla and well we really hit it off so I’m taking her out tomorrow for a fun picnic lunch date. I think it’ll be a lot of fun.”

“Im sure it will be, you plan the best dates. So where did the two of you meet?” you played with the styrofoam cup your smoothie was in distractedly as went on about meeting Kayla at a gas station. You wished Harry would plan cute dates, and care more about everything. You wished he would text you good morning and good night or check in throughout the day. You wanted more from a relationship but at the same time...you really only wanted Harry. It was a hard place to be in at the moment. Just thinking about it and how frustrated you were with him made you tear up. You wiped a tear and noticed Luke was looking at you weirdly. “Sorry what?”

“I asked if you were okay....you seem. I don't know...not okay?”

You laughed and wiped another tear away. “Yeah, I’m fine just been thinking.”

He nodded unsure but was willing to let it go for your sake. “Well I have to go get ready for work, but enjoy the smoothie and text me later to let me know you are okay and all good. Promise?”

“Promise. Thank you for the smoothie..You really are the best friend a girl could have.”

“I try” he squeezed your hand and then walked out, leaving you to your thoughts.

After a few hours of lounging around you decided to get up and be productive. You threw on a pair of leggings and a t-shirt and froze when you looked in the mirror. Your stomach had definitely grown, and a small baby bump was definitely visible. You light touched your stomach and smiled. It was all startling to feel real. You got to work, cleaning almost every room of your house and by the end everything was spotless and beautiful. You felt good. There was just something about a clean house that cleared your mind. It was almost 4:00 pm by the time everything was finished and you still hadn't heard from Harry. He was supposed to come home tonight so that he could take you to your appointment in the morning. *Hey, how's writing going? Think youre going to make it home for the appointment tomorrow?* you texted him. You sat waiting for a reply but when it didnt immediately come you decided to start on dinner. Tonight you were going to be making spaghetti with meatballs and garlic bread, nothing too fancy but still delicious. You were boiling the water and buttering bread when your phone buzzed. Harry’s face was on the screen so you quickly answered it. “Hey!” you said cheerfully.

“Hey love, look I’m in the middle of a song right now and I don't want to stop so I don't think I’m going to make it tomorrow.”

Your heart sank and tears threatened to spill from your eyes. “But Harry this is a really important appointment. This is where we-”

“I know, I’m sorry. I’ll be at the next one I swear.”

You didn’t even answer, just hung up the phone and went back to cooking. The whole night was spent thinking about Harry. How couldn't he want to be there? Why was writing more important than his family? Did he even care at all? You were frustrated, upset, hurt, and confused. None of it made sense. Harry always said that he wanted kids and he wanted to be the dad that was there at every moment. Yet here he was not even caring to show up and you were done with it. *Good luck writing. Don't bother in calling me anymore I think our baby will be better off without you in its life* you know it was a long shot, something meant to dig at him but you didnt care. You were done with letting Harry hurt you again. You were sitting on the floor crying when Luke walked in carrying two suits.

“Hey which should I wear- Are you okay?” he immediately knelt down, dropping the suits and rubbing your shoulders. “(y/n) are you okay?” You shook your head no. Luke got more worried. He tried scooping you into his arms. “Are you hurt? What happened?”

“No.” you wiped your face and let out a shaky breath. “I think I just broke up with Harry again.”

Luke froze trying to decide what to say. He decided to play it safe, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault, its not mine, its his. He just doesn't care.”

“He will one day, it just sucks he doesn't realize it now.” you nodded leaning into him. “So youre going alone tomorrow?”

You nodded again. “I’ll be okay.”

He sighed, “no. You shouldn't go through all of this alone. I’ll go. I’ll take you.”

“But your date..”

“I’ll reschedule. I have a friend in need.” You smiled and wiped your tears.

“Can I still pick out the outfit you wear?” Luke laughed and nodded standing up and then pulling you to your feet.

“Of course.” He looked at you and gave you a look.

“What?”

“Your belly...its like actually bigger.”

“Well I do have a baby inside me that grows everyday.” You laughed. “Today, at 12 weeks, the baby is the size of a plum.”

“A plum? How do you know that?”

“I have an app that tells me its size according to fruits every week.”

He laughed and rolled his eyes, “A plum. Who would've guessed.”

You laughed instantly feeling better. You held up the two suits and smiled. “The grey one. It brings out your eyes.” You smiled and handed it to him.

“That was a quick decision.”

“I’ve been your friend for forever. I know what you look good in.”

The rest of the night was spent lounging around. Luke had gone home, promising to pick you up for your appointment and you still hadn't gotten a response from Harry. You weren't really expecting one, but you had hoped he would say something. You decided turning in early was a good idea so you threw on Harry’s old t-shirt, the one you slept in every night and jumped into bed. You were exhausted so falling asleep was easy. You had awoken to the sound of the door opening. You laid in bed listening for other sounds but didnt hear anything. You covered your head with the blanket and tried thinking to if you had imagined it or not. Then you heard footsteps walking up the stairs. You panicked. You didnt know what to do. You grabbed your phone and looked for something you could attack an intruder with. The footsteps were getting closer and your heart was racing. The door opened and you were ready to dial 911. “(y/n)?” Harry’s voice whispered. You breathed out and turned on a light next to the bed.

“Harry what the hell!” you screamed. “I thought you were a robber or murderer or something. You cant do that!”

Harry walked in and smiled holding out a giant bouquet of flowers. “I’m sorry...I didnt mean to scare you but I also didnt want to wake you if you were sleeping.”

“What are you doing here.”

He sighed and walked to the bed sitting down next to you on the edge. “I came to apologize. I haven't been a good dad lately. I haven't even been good to you. I got so distracted trying to please the fans with this next album that I was forgetting what's more important. My family. I know I don't deserve forgiveness. I know I promised you I would be here and be present and then I wasnt but this time I will be. I want to be there for you. I want to be there for this little one.” He touched your belly and smiled. “Im done writing for now. At least leaving to write. I want to be here, with you, as much as possible. I want us to work on whatever this is and to experience all the baby stuff together.”

“Harry-”

“Please (y/n)....give me one more chance...I promise not to screw it up.” He placed his head down by your stomach and your fingers immediately went to his hair. You sighed and he looked up.

“Fine. One more chance but if you screw this up Harry you won't be in my life or the baby’s.”

“Trust me love, I won't screw it up again.” He kissed your forehead and set the flowers on the nightstand. He then stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed. He pulled you against his chest and trailed fingers down your belly. “Did you know that the baby is the size of a plum today. Like an actual plum, isn't that crazy?”

You laughed and turned towards him. You touched your nose to his and smiled. He kissed you softly and smiled back. “I’m glad youre here Haz” you snuggled into him and he held on tightly.

“Me too.” He rubbed your back until you fell asleep and part of you expected him to be gone when you woke up. Just a dream. An imagination. But when your alarm went off and your eyes opened, you were snuggled against his chest, his body gently snoring like the angel he was. You rolled over and snoozed the alarm before returning to him. You traced his butterfly tattoo until he cracked his eyes open with a smile. “Morning.” he whispered deeply.

“Morning.” you smiled before climbing out of bed.

“Where are you going” he groaned sitting up in the white comforter. “Im exhausted...cant we stay in bed a little longer.”

You walked over to his side, knelt down and kissed his nose. “We have an appointment so get up and get ready.” You smiled and stretched. Harry jumped out of bed and froze watching you. “Whats wrong?”

“Your belly...I can actually see the plum size. That is so cool.” “Wait until you see the baby at the appointment.” you smiled walking into his embrace. “We should be able to see actual features today. It won't be just a blob anymore.”

You were getting ready and so was Harry, except he was pretty much done. He was in his black skinny jeans, a tshirt and a sweater vest. “Do I look like a dad?”

You laughed and nodded. “You look like a hot dad though.” He grinned and kissed you about to respond when the doorbell rang. “Can you get that, its probably Luke.”

“Luke?”

“Yeah he's coming today too.”

“Great...” Harry mumbled walking downstairs to answer the door. You finished throwing your hair in a pony tail and picked one of Harry’s smaller shirts, the one with his album title along a heart with his name, before running downstairs. Luke and Harry were just staring, no glaring at each other.

“Hey” you smiled hugging Luke. “Ready to go?” Harry and Luke nodded and you followed them outside.

“Whats the deal?” Luke harshly whispered, grabbing your arm and pulling you back.

“What?” you played innocently.

“Why is he here?”

“He’s the dad Luke..”

“Yeah but I thought you were done with him.”

“I was...but I feel like I owe it to the baby to give him another chance. He showed up last night and promised to be here. I’m not just going to say no Luke.”

Luke rolled his eyes and you pulled your arm from his grip to catch up to Harry. He smiled and grabbed your hand. “Ready to see our little baby love?”

You nodded and climbed into the car. Harry decided he wanted to drive so Luke jumped in the backseat. The car ride there was silent, no one really talking but when we got to the waiting room you told Harry to check you in so you could run to the bathroom. The nurse was waiting with the two guys and you followed her in. She retook your weight, stating that you had gained a little which was normal. She then took all three of you into a room where you changed into a gown and waited. Harry was anxiously pacing the room and Luke was just glaring at Harry when the doctor walked in. “(y/n) so nice to see you again, are you ready to see the baby?” You nodded as he looked to the two guys. “Who do we have here today?” he asked. Harry stepped forward and extended his hand.

“I’m Harry, its a pleasure to meet you.” he smiled and gave you a reassuring wink.

“Harry is the dad.” you added looking at the doctor. He nodded and smiled.

“Its nice to meet you Harry. And you?” he looked over at Luke.

“Oh, I’m Luke. I’m (y/n)’s friend.”

“Nice to meet you too. Alright lets see what we got here. He turned the lights lower and squirted the cold gel on your stomach earning a surprised look from Harry which made you laugh. “Have you been having any symptoms?”

“Yeah I’ve had morning sickness quite a bit lately.”

“Ah, thats a normal but unfortunate one.” He was scrolling around your stomach looking for the baby. “Has it been manageable?”

“Yeah its not been too terrible, I’m still feeling good most of the day.”

“Good thats what we want. Ah here it is...” Harry grabbed your hand and smiled looking at the screen. “So you can see here is the head, the butt, an arm, a leg, everything seems to be there. Let’s see if we cant get the heartbeat.” Luke looked a little sick but smiled when you looked at him and Harry was in awe.

“I think she looks like you..”

“How do you know its a she?” you asked surprised.

“I just feel like its going to be.”

“I feel like its going to be a boy, and I think he looks like you.” Harry smiled shaking his head. He was about to respond when you heard the familiar thump thump thump of a heartbeat. Harry had tears falling down his cheek. You smiled and wiped them away.

“That’s amazing.” he looked at the doctor with a smile. “Thank you for showing us that.”

The doctor nodded, flipping the light back on and handing you a towel to wipe your stomach. “Okay, you look good the baby looks good but we do want to do a blood test..From this you can find out the gender if you like.”

“Yes.” You said and looked at Harry.

“I think we should wait...let it be a surprise.” Harry said looking at you.

“Harry its not your decision.” Luke intervened.

“Its my baby too. I think we should wait.” He said pointedly at Luke.

“It should be (y/n)s decision. She's the one carrying it.”

“Well I think we both would have fun waiting.” Harry looked at you and you looked down.

“You haven't even been here. You don't have a say in it.”

“Luke,” you cut him off. “It is Harry’s baby too. He's the one here now and thats all that matters. Why don't we wait now and we can always decide later to look.”

Harry smiled and nodded at you, then glared at Luke. Luke just rolled his eyes. “whatever.” The doctor took your blood, explaining that it would also test for some genetic defects and diseases and that you would receive a call in the next few days with the results. You held Harry’s hand the whole time while talking to Luke so luckily you did not faint. Harry helped you to your feet, and held onto you to make sure you weren't going to drop back at any notice. You smiled and gave him a reassuring kiss. He let you go a little but still tightly held your hand. You set up another appointment and then walked out with your guys. Harry opened the car door for you and Luke climbed in the back seat. After ensuring you were buckled the three of you drove home. Luke left without saying a word and Harry rolled his eyes.

“What an asshole.”

You lightly smacked his arm and smiled. “He will come around. Trust me.”

Harry’s only response was a kiss on the cheek. “Come on, we need to go by my place and pick up some stuff.”

“What stuff?”

“Like all of it.”

“Why?”

“Well I figured we should probably live together so I can help out with everything..” Your mouth dropped open. “Unless thats not okay...” he added concerned he had overstepped.

“No. No I would love that...I just didnt think thats what you would want.”

“(y/n) I know the last few months have been rocky with us but I want to be here all the time with you. I love you and I want us to make things work. If me being here to help, mends that? I’ll never leave the house again.” He kissed your softly and you smiled.

“I love you Haz.”

“I love you too love.”

---

Part 3 of the pregnancy series, hope you guys like it :) There wasnt a lot of action in this chapter but just wait for the next ;)

xoxo

#one direction #directioners #one direction fanfiction #one direction imagines #Harry Styles #harrystyles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines

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publickoccurances · 4 years ago

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Female companions react to Sole breaking up with them out of the blue: Part 1 ‘the break up’

Cait: Cait tapped her foot impatiently as she stared at Sole who was just walking through the front door. They were late. They had made such a big deal about seeing her to talk about something important and they were late.

“It’s rude to keep a girl waitin’ ye know?” She was joking of course. But the way Sole didn’t laugh or react worried her a bit. They looked rather serious. “What ye got a face like a slapped arse for?”

Sole sighed as they took a seat opposite Cait at the table, running a hand through their hair. “Sorry it’s been a long day... I didn’t mean to keep you waiting.”

Okay this was worrying. Sole and Cait had been together for around a year now. And they never had serious interactions. The way Sole was speaking was odd. She didn’t like it.

She rose an eyebrow, her confusion was clear by the look on her face. “I were only joking love... is everything grand?”

Sole shifted slightly in their seat, eyes on their hands as they were unable to bring themself to make eye contact with Cait. This wasn’t a conversation they wanted to have. Yet they didn’t see any other choice.

See it wasnt that Cait had done anything wrong. She was perfect in Sole’s eyes. Rough around the edges but deep down she was good for them. But Sole just couldn’t keep this facade up anymore. Couldn’t pretend like they were content.

Their heart had been broken by the loss of their spouse and then the loss of Shaun. Cait had been helping heal them ever since. It had developed into a relationship. And a year later here they were. But they couldn’t lie to her anymore. It was time to be honest.

“Cait. I just... I need to get something off my chest, you know?” Sole began, finally looking up to meet her eyes.

Cait nodded slowly, suddenly she didn’t feel so good. She didn’t have anything witty to say. Not yet at least. She just watched carefully. “Spit it out then.”

Sole reached for her hand across the table. Resting theirs on top of it. “The time we’ve spent together has been amazing. I’ve enjoyed every second of it. Even when we’ve been getting shot at by raiders.”

Cait chuckled slightly at that. Yeah, Sole had seemed to enjoy their interactions with raiders a little too much. “Oh yeah? ye’ looked all serious just to tell me ye’ve enjoyed spending time with me?”

“No. No that’s not it.” Sole could feel a tightening in their throat. God they didn’t want to say this. But they had to. “I’ve been using you as a crutch Cait.” They admitted finally.

“What the feck are ye on about?” Cait blurted out, clearly very confused. She pulled her hand away, sitting up a little straighter, eyes narrowing. “How the fuck have ye been using me as a crutch?”

Sole took a deep breath. Here it goes. “Because I have. Since we got you off the drugs I’ve been using you to hold myself up. Okay?”

Cait suddenly stood up, eyes burning as she stared down at Sole. “Ye better start making some fecking sense here. Stop speaking in riddles and spit it out.”

“I’ve been using you Cait!” Sole finally snapped, pushing themself onto their feet. “I’ve been using you to keep me distracted from the fact my life fell apart okay? I was married. I had a kid. That all got taken away from me within the blink of an eye. And I’ve been using you to forget about them. To keep me standing. But I can’t anymore.”

Had that really been all she was to them? Had she spent a year of her life being a post for someone to lean on? Had every second been a lie?

“Ye’ve been using me?!” Cait demanded, rounding on Sole. It was taking every ounce of her energy not to swing at them. Using her? “Just like every other fucker in my life, ye’ve been using me?”

Sole knew what she was thinking. Knew there was a good chance she was going to start throwing punches. And in all honesty they deserved it.

“I’ve gone through hell and back with ye, and now yer telling me it’s meant fuck all?” At this point Cait was used to disappointment in people. But Sole? She really had thought they were different.

Sole nodded slowly. “Pretty much. Yeah. It meant nothing okay? You- you meant nothing.” It was breaking their heart to do this. They didn’t mean that. But maybe the easiest way to let Cait walk away from them was to be cruel. She was a person. Not a crutch. And if she stayed Sole would just keep leaning on her.

Caits jaw clenched, hands balled up into fists. That’s really how Sole wanted to act? Fine. Fuck em’. She didn’t need them anyway.

“Aye well... you enjoy yer pathetic life out here Sole.” She basically hissed, storming right past them.

She was done. She was leaving. She was out the door.

Curie: Curie hummed as she tapped away at the keys of her terminal. She was pretty entranced by the research notes she was making, but out of the corner of her eye she couldn’t help but notice her lover looking rather tense as they sat on the edge of the bed.

“Hmm Ma/Mon Cherie, you look tense.” She commented nonchalantly as she continued on with her work.

Sole sighed softly, rubbing the back of their head. Oh Curie. She was so sweet and caring, but she was definitely oblivious to the worries Sole had.

“Yeah I didn’t sleep very well last night.” They replied, standing up from where they had been sitting and proceeding to pace around the room slightly.

Curie frowned. Turning away from her terminal and watching Sole carefully. They were pacing. She had learnt that pacing was a sign of stress or nervousness, among many other mostly negative things.

“As’ something upset you?” She asked curiously, head tilting to the side as she watched Sole. She had been in her human form for over a year now, most of that time spent with Sole. But she was still learning how to be human. And one of the most effective methods of learning she had found was watching Sole.

“I-well...” Sole rubbed the back of their head again. It was a nervous tick of sorts.

Curie stood up, moving to stand in front of her lover. She was beginning to feel concerned. “Pacing around zhe room, inability to construct a sentence... this is signs of nerves, no?”

Oh god. She’d picked up on how they were feeling hadn’t she? Sole felt awful. She looked so concerned for them. They had to talk to her about what was bothering them. They had to talk to her now before it got worse.

“Curie I think we need to speak... about something important.”

Curie nodded her head, a smile spread across her lips. Yes speaking about important things was imperative. She was rather curious about what it was Sole hsd to tell her. Perhaps about an experiment?

“Of course mon amour.”

Sole gently took Curie’s hands and lead her to sit with them on the edge of the bed. God they didn’t want to do this. Curie had made them so happy. And now they had to end that.

“I think it’s safe to say we both live very busy lives.” Sole began to explain, looking down at the floor as they did so. “And we’ve pretty much been able to coexist with this.”

“I agree.” Curie nodded her head. Unaware that there was a subtle hint in what Sole was saying. “You are a busy protector of the people, and I am busy with my research.”

“Exactly.” Sole nodded. Assuming that Curie understood what they were getting at. “And well... a protector of the people should be out there. Wandering about to find people in need. Snd a researcher... should well... be doing what you do.”

She didn’t want to admit it. But what Sole was saying was rather lost on her. But she nodded her head regardless. “I agree... one cannot help protect others from danger if they are inside all day. And I cannot make advancements in science if I am not working.”

Sole let out a sigh of relief, assuming Curie had understood what they had been hinting at completely. “Oh thank god... I’m so glad you understand.” They wrapoed their arms around her. “And even though we won’t be a couple any more I hope we can stay friends.”

Curie suddenly felt an emotion she had never experienced before. Her whole body went cold. Stomach dropped. Her heart was racing. It was a little harder to breathe.

“I-yes.” She nodded slowly. Her and Sole were no longer a couple? Okay. That was a new development for her. But she just nodded again. “Yes.”

Piper: “Nat! Nat could you turn the radio down?! I can barely hear myself think!” The reporter called down to her little sister. She was upstairs working on a new article.

‘Ransom: First Hand Experience.’

The title was in the works but Piper was excited about what she was writing regardless. She had been held hostage by a group of raiders the other week. They demanded a 2000 cap ransom. But of course Blue had stormed the place and rescued her. She had found the situation extremely exciting, even when fearing for her life. Plus it was going to make a great article.

“Hmmm... maybe that bit is too explicit- but then again. A raider getting beaten to a pulp. Something romantic about it.” Piper thought outloud to herself, trying to figure out how to make this piece as captivating as possible.

Downstairs the front door opened, Sole walking inside.

Nat was the first to great her sisters partner. She had become fond of Sole, they were good to her and Piper. Plus they made her feel safe.

“You’re back!” Nat exclaimed, rushing over to give them a hug. She’d neve admit it but she was always scared when Sole went out to do a job they wouldn’t return.

Sole chuckled softly, giving the young girl a big squeeze. “Of course I’m back Kiddo. I was just delivering some supplies to Bunker Hill.”

Nat didn’t care what they had been doing. She was just glad they were back. “Piper told me all about how you kicked those raiders asses! I can’t believe it- well I can but still! You’re so cool!”

Sole smiled and shook their head. God she really wss turning into her sister. “She tell you about that huh?”

Piper smiled as she watched the exchange, walking down the stairs slowly. “Hey you... do I not get a hug?”

Sole smiled a little, moving over to press a kiss to her cheek, giving her a quick hug. “Hey- have you got a minute so we can talk?” Sole murmured, giving her the look that said ‘this is really important.’

Piper nodded immediately. “Yeah- of course Blue.. I’ll be upstairs in a minute.”

Sole nodded and headed up the stairs as they waited for Piper to come up with some sort of excuse to get her little sister out of the house for a little while so they could speak.

A few moments later Piper was joining Sole in her room, frowning slightly. “Why’d you look so serious Blue? What’s happened?”

Sole sighed softly, chewing on their lip. “It’s about what happened last week-.” They couldn’t even finish their sentence without Piper interrupting.

“Yeah? Great because I’m writing the article and I could use a statement from you!” She had suddenly forgot the intensity of Soles voice as she got distracted by the paper.

Sole shook their head, sighing softly. “No Pipes. This is important yeah?”

A slight frown spread across Pipers lips. Sole had never said no about her paper before. Never put something in front of it. This must have been serious.

“Okay...” She nodded slowly, sitting down on her desk chair. “Shoot. What’s up?”

“Last week. Getting that note. Having to find you.” Sole felt their eyes begin to tear up slightly. “Piper I thought they’d killed you. Thought I was gonna walk in there to find you dead.”

Piper sighed softly, rubbing her temples. It had been intense. But she hadn’t realised the situation had troubled Blue so much. “I can imagine- but it worked out fine. I came out of there without a scratch on me.”

Sole sighed, shaking their head. “Pipes that’s not the point. You were targeted because of me. What if it happens again? What if next time you’re not so lucky... what if next time they take Nat?”

Piper felt her heart twinge. She hadn’t thought about the fact that Nat could become a target just like she had been. But it wasn’t Blues fault. She didn’t blame them. “Come on now Blue- don’t think like that.”

Sole took a deep breath. “Piper I think it would be better for you and Nat if I were to leave. I love you. I love the life we’re building together. But I can’t risk you being hurt because of me.”

That had come as a shock. Piper had never thought Blue would be so scared for her safety they would leave. No. This was crazy. “Blue come on. Don’t be so drastic.”

Sole shook their head and began to walk down the stairs. “Piper I’m serious. I can’t do this. I can’t lose you to death too. I need to leave.”

Piper followed behind, starting to feel a bit frantic. “What? Come on Blue- can we talk about this?!”

“Piper I can’t. Look it’s over okay?”

Piper shook her head, grabbing their wrist. “Blue dont you dare walk out that door. You are not walking out on us like this- please.”

Sole pulled their wrist free of Pipers grip. Not even looking back at her as they opened the door. “I’m sorry Piper. I really am.”

All Piper could do was watch. Her heart breaking right there and then. “Blue if you leave me now, like this, I’ll never forgive you.”

#fallout #gaming #piper wright #bethesda #fallout 4 #fanfic #fallout series #fallout 4 companions #fallout headcanons #fallout companions react #cait fallout 4 #curie fallout 4 #piper fallout 4

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butterbeeryuta · 5 years ago

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johnny as your boyfriend; radio!au

a/n: thIS was requested a looooooong time ago, and i am so sorry that i only wrote this now. My mocks are finally done, and they actually went pretty well, so i hope my results will match whatever i am claiming skdjkjd. This headcanon was really fun to write, and it was overall just adorable oof alright, imma head to over to my next oneshot now. Hope all of you have a great day.

Okay so ya’ll are in uniVersity (as expected because I am writing this)

You met johnny 2 years ago when you were freshman looking for a job on campus cause um,,, college is a bitch

And you saw this uni radio show ‘Night Night’ which went live every wednesday at 9 in the evening

You honestly had no idea what they talked about since you’ve never listened to one

Despite the fact that your roommate Sicheng always talks about it and claims how great it is

BUT ANYWAY

You always enjoyed radio shows in general, and saw that they were hiring for another radio show personality

HMMmmMmmmM i wonDEr wheRe tHIS Is gOInG

You were one intellect my dear; you were studying political science at Konkuk University, meaning, you were one opinionated ass individual

But, you also had your crack side acCording to ur roommate

You fucking chased Sicheng around with those incense sticks cause you couldn’t find your go-to rolling pin to scare the shit out of him for eating your pack of strawberries

I swear the two of you are great friends ya’ll just show love to each other in quite a unique way

ANYWAYS

YeAH so you went to ask for the job cause you need money to buy a safe for your precious strawberries

You brought whatever requirements they asked for, and nyyOoooOOooooOOOOnged your way over there

It was a pretty old building, or radio station per se. not that it was bad or anything but, it isn’t exactly a place you would like to step into

Going up the stairs, you just saw a really TALL and attractive guy clearing out a few things in the booth. Your guess was that he was also probably new to this and whoever lent him the place didn’t exactly clean up the place.

With whatever courage you had in yourself

Or i guess how much sugar you consumed this morning cause you casually just walked it without contacting the guy

‘Uh... hello?’

HE JUMPED, whatever shit he was holding? Yeah it dropped

Which caused you to jump too, not expecting the huge ass pretty guy to have that big of a reaction

he looked over to you, surprised to see a person in the radio station because um,,, nobody ever goes there except for him

‘Hello to you too??? uhhh, not meaning to be rude or anything but, why are you here? Are you lost?’ He asks, looking extremely concerned

You just shook your head and deadass told him that there was a job offer for another radio show personality, and he looked eveN more concerned

Sorta like a ‘are u fucking serious’ face

‘Oh! Right. That job has been open for about a year now so I didn’t expect anyone to come at all...’

OHHhhHhh????????

Well,,,, i guess you have a better chance of getting the job?

‘Well.... do i get a higher chance of being accepted then for being the first to show up? You ask, unsure if whatever you said made sense, or was even socially acceptable

Imagine going to a job interview being like: ‘so i saw ur job offer, and since i actually showed up, I’m accepted right?’

Babe i dont think it works like that, but let’s continue

Johnny honestly had nothing to say against you though. You were right in a sense that you had no competition since you were the only one that actually came to apply. At the same time, he wanted the quality of the show to still be good even if there was a limited audience

‘Higher chance is indeed right. But tell me, uhh, what’s your name again?’

‘I actually never introduced myself, but it’s _______’

‘I’m Johnny by the way. So _______, why do you want to be a radio show host for Konkuk University?’

you had two ways to answer this question: (1) be blatantly honest that you really need the money, and talking to earn cash seems pretty great in your opinion or (2) repeat whatever the fuck sicheng has told you about the show

And of course, you were going with the first option

‘i honestly need the money because college is a bitch. And also talking and having discussions is a pretty fun and interesting method to get some cash in. Also because my roommate loves your show and why not ruin it for him by including me in it’

Babe

BABE SKDJKSDJKDSJKSDJSKDJKSDJ

Johnny actually wanted to accept you immediately. I mean for starters, he found you pretty adorable marching up to the radio station determined to get the job. And not only that, you were quite the talker, which is something that could spike up the show since it was just always johnny speaking

And also because he was feeling quite lonely but he would never admit that

‘Alright _____, meet me this friday to talk about next week’s segment’

OOFT

And let me tell you, tall boi’s assumptions were right. During your first show together, the two of you decided to talk about the book ‘1984’ by george orwell and although it may sound boring on a superficial level, yOU made it sound pretty interesting and johnny was actually just laughing the entire time

You and johnny just clicked in an instant, and your way of describing things made ‘Night Night’ known by the students

Nobody could ever forget your infamous line about the book: ‘george orwell’s sexual frustration is honestly so transparent in the book; all he needed was to get his dick wet then maybe he wouldn’t have let julia and winston be caught by the thoughtpolice.’

And things like this happened every wednesday. The pattern of your radio show just included you being you, and johnny trying to make shit be on track

The two of you were doing it for a very long time now, and back to toDAY where ya’ll have been doing it for two years, well... it would be a lie to say you hadn’t developed feelings for johnny

of course the man was beautiful and well-built. But his personality and laugh? Yeah sicheng should’ve warned you about that.

He is probably one of the most open-minded person in the world, and he knows a bit about everything, making him so well-rounded. And and and he’s to kind???

If you tell him that you can’t make it to the radio show, he says it’s okay and even gives you snacks the moment you come back and he just makes you so soft in general i—

Meanwhile for johnny, damn is he in love with you

Over the past 2 years, you definitely helped him open up more. With the way you speak along with your galaxy brain, he couldn’t help but fall for you? You were intelligent, you had your own mind, and being friendly and funny in general is something johnny really liked about you

The time when he realised he loves you was when you curled yourself up against the seat while you were discussing about what to talk about next week, and you just fell asleep. He noticed how soft and peaceful you looked, and that he would want to see you like this on a daily basis

Shit this is getting me all soft i wasnt planning on this nsndnsndnd

So yeaHHHHH this week’s segment, you guys were talking about the spanish conquest of mexico and peru woohoooo

AND you were very excited for this because this was one of your (my) favourite topics you learnt during your time in high school

‘OKAY, good evening everyone I am ______D,’

‘And I am JohnD, and welcome to’

‘Night Night. Oof, we’re getting better at our introductions aren’t we JohnD?’

‘Nope, you just learned how to say it without cringing’

‘Touché’ and ya’ll began your discussion. And things actually got pretty interesting.

‘So _____ you’re telling me that it was Cortes’ leadership that allowed the Spanish to successfully take over Mexico?’ He asks you in disbelief.

‘No you tall dumbfuck, it’s one of the attributes that led them to succeed. Both Cortes and Pizarro had disease on their side and better weapons, so of course they’d win. I just wanted to include leadership as i don’t know, to see the defeat of the aztecs from a new lens?’ You respond, deadass looking at johnny in the eye

‘Well, i don’t think i can argue with that, mainly because i am too scared too. That is it for today, but before we end this, i would like to add one more thing.’ Johnny says, which took you by surprise

huHhh?

You looked confused, in fact, you were confused.

What the fuck was going on?

‘This academic year is ending, and this so happens to be my last year here at Konkuk University...’

Oh shit

Your eyes softened at his words, just realising now that johnny was two years older than you, and yeah, he’s graduating this year

‘... this year has honestly been one of the greatest years here at Konkuk, but for me, I think of my my most memorable memories here was when ______D entered the station and giving me a huge fright’

You laughed a little, remembering how much you scared the man

‘Taking this opportunity, ______D, I want to ask you something’

Shit

BRUHHHHHHHHH

‘I just want to congratulate you and thank you for joining “Night Night.” You made the show livelier and massively increased the viewer rate with that big brain of yours—‘

‘I prefer the term galaxy brain’

‘—yes, galaxy brain. I hope that you can continue this radio show, and maybe recruit someone else while i’m out in the world of disgusting adults. So yes, thank you ______. And because we won’t be colleagues in a bit, will you be my girl/boyfriend?’

You were initially teary eyed, buT yEET those tears out biTCH what????

You wanted to say yes, bUt how?????

Do you just nod at him and go ‘ye,’ or do you like, confess?

You felt weird in the stomach. Not that you can exactly do 459343948 cartwheels in one go, but that’s exactly what your stomach was doing. If you were to speak, you could have vomited.

Idk what happened to you, but you took off your headphones, and went to the tall boy and just hugged the shit out of him cause umm,,,, SAME????

And johnny wasn’t sure what that exactly meant so he just hugged you back, bringing you to his lap and holding you tight against him cause honestly, when will he be able to do this to a person he genuinely loves

There was a moment of silence of you two just holding each other, until you realised you were still live with lord knows how many people were listening.

‘U-um, yeah Johnny, I w-will gladly be yours—‘

‘_____ I love you’

OKAY RETRIEVE THOSE TEARS BISH YOU CRYING NOW TF

You sorta just placed your head on the crook of his neck, quietly whispering to him

‘I can’t believe I love your tall ass too...’

‘SHE SAID SHE LOVES ME TOO!’

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aardvaark · 5 years ago

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i know everyone gets mad at judy for always checking things like whats happening in the police precinct with the crimes or talking to detectives about those cases and all. i can totally see why jen and all are having a problem with that (steve is technically another example but he can - and lowkey did - die in a hole). it does look dodgy and weird and the situation is stressful for her (”her” being jen - from now on im just gonna refer to jen bc ew steve, so yeah sorry).

i mean i dont like that jen was still being rude or speaking to her like a child except worse and more angrily. she was condescending. but i do understand, at least, the fear resulting in anger at judy.

but ive been thinking about it, and i think the reason judy has a hard time sticking out of these issues is probably because she has previously had to solve every single issue shes experienced alone, when she was young. and she had to be constantly aware - has someone noticed my mother isnt going to school events? has someone noticed that im cooking and cleaning for myself? has someone noticed im tired and stressed? because if a teacher finds out, theyre going to do something, and i dont want to upset my mother because im sure somewhere deep down she really does care and love me sometimes. i dont want to upset anyone at all.

you’d fear massive changes in your life - everything needs to stay the same, even if its not stable, theres a kind of makeshift stability in constant instability. in always having to manage a crisis. theres steps, theres a mental checklist, theres things to do. she probably thought change would still be worse than this; a total upheaval in the short-term. no guarantee of stability in the future. as things were, she had the guarantee of instability, but it was still a guarantee.

she’d have to just reason that she could cope with anything. its what i always hear about kids in neglectful or abusive situations, its a pattern i think a lot of us have experienced: “you’re so mature for your age!” / “you’re special (or smart)” / “you’re so grown up!” / “you’re so responsible!” / “you’re sorry kind and sympathetic to your peers!”. this isnt meant to hurt, it doesnt necessarily hurt, its often from other adults who have no idea whats happening. but the behavior theyre seeing is more along the lines of: quiet, constantly alert, anxious, sad, upset, fearful.

[imo, theres a harmful misconception that quiet/stressed/rarely happy = growing up, becoming more mature. i do think its kind of awful that you’re not meant to have that child-like fascination and excitement with the world when you get older, but its true that just does often go away a little with time, completely naturally. but it can also be harmful to make that A Thing, because childhood depression and anxiety or experiencing potentially traumatic or otherwise stressful and upsetting situations can also lead to showing similar signs - just faster, earlier. and these can be misread as just being very mature for your age. but thats a separate issue i have with the world, lol.]

anyway, so shes found the only option is to hide the problems and present as totally fine. make excuses. lie. keep secrets. these behaviours have stuck with her, too. and so would the feeling that there is constant danger. she must know what the exact extent of the danger is at all times because she must monitor everything. she needs to be on the lookout for threats, because there are always threats. she has to check, be responsible, no one is going to help her, theres an order to the disorder, theres a way to manage the chaos and only she knows how because this is just another crisis. her average state, a day-in-the-life of judy hale.

shes always had to do that, in the context of her growing up. but although its the same feeling of stress, its a different context now, and that behaviour is a lot more suspicious in this situation. especially now, because shes an adult. and now shes not alone in the stressful environment, other people (eg jen w/the murder) want and need a say in how problems are being sorted out. and jen is kinda right, you know, you cant go around checking in with the police, it looks pretty odd. judys form of crisis management isnt applicable here, but judy doesnt really think about that, shes thinking about how best to keep herself safe. and thats how she thinks she is going to be safe, because thats what has worked. in fact, she was doing it because she wants jen to be safe, too.

shes doing the best she can with what she has, but her childhood was terrible and she never had the opportunity to form normal, more effective, adult-life socially applicable crisis management skills. all she did get was what she had to do as a child, to protect herself in a horribly twisted way, because she was a child who did not get to grow up in the way everyone else did. she missed out on a lot of things that you gain when youre not under extreme pressure just to survive and hide major problems while also having to live with those major problems. she didnt get to learn how to find more subtle ways of getting information, or when it was better to just not interact at all.

what she learnt let her live back then, it prevented her world from unravelling. how can she be expected to let go of those makeshift survival skills? how can she be expected to go against the instincts that have clearly saved her before? how can she be expected to confront her slowly growing understanding that her life should never have been like that, that she was robbed of her childhood, that she has had a horrible thing happen to her, that countless horrible things have happened to her, how can she be expected to accept that she deserved better than she has ever gotten? how can she be expected to allow herself all these feelings and fears she has been pushing down her entire life?

admitting/realising that she doesnt know what to do, that she isnt safe and cant control the situation by herself, means admitting far too much: it means admitting that she was never meant to be capable of coping by herself, that she actually couldnt cope with literally everything life threw her way no matter what - shes not okay, she didnt have some supernatural ability to somehow deal with everything, and she wasnt supposed to. that her mother knowingly put her in an unsafe situation, and she was not meant to just learn how to cope.

i dont think jen does or really truly can currently realise that, but i hope she starts to see that if she learns more about judy’s mom and all... she definitely didnt get that judy was stressed and actually doing what she thought was great, and also that what she has been doing isnt out of naivety or something, but kind of the opposite - more like she knows too much, has been too exposed, and now shes just applying those things here but it doesnt work here.

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rvnjun · 6 years ago

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nct 127 reacts | gf overhears them call her clingy

request: Hiii! Can I request something where the 127 calls the gf clingy (but she overheard it) and she distances herself , barely talking to them and they don’t know why?:) warnings: angst? authors note: sorry this took so long babydoll and I changed up the req a bit! Feedback and reblogs are very appreciated

T a e i l

Taeil stared at your figure on the couch, your hands tightly curled around the remote and your eyes glued to the movie on the television. Something was wrong but he couldnt put his finger on it. He knew that there was something different about you but he didn't know what. “Y/n?” he called out, awaiting your response. You didn't even him spare him a glance as you mumbled a ‘huh’. “Are,,,aren't you gonna come and greet me?” he asked, voice wavering. Taeil hated how he sounded but he finally realized what was causing him a bother, you hadn't been greeting him when he arrived home anymore. “What's wrong?” he asked right after realizing what was the problem. Normally you were the type of person to not just burst out your emotions like that but before you could collect yourself, the tears were already dripping down your cheeks. “I,,I,,I-” you stopped for a second to collect your breath “-I overheard what you told Taeyong and im sorry for being so clingy.” Taeils eyes wavered at your words “Baby I didnt mean it like that,,Im sorry that I made you feel that way. I love how clingy you are, it shows me how much you love me,” Taeil softly spoke, pulling you in for a gentle hug.

T a e y o n g

Taeyong loved how clingy you could be, some days he wanted nothing more than to be in your arms. Afterall, it wasn't easy being the tough and strong leader of over 16 wild boys. Your arms were a safe haven, the one place we he truly felt like he could relax and not have to worry about anything. However, when Taeyong was truly feeling stressed he would take the anger and worries out on things that didn't make him angry. Which is how he ended up in the situation he was in. Tears burning your cheeks and eyes red and puffy. Your arms were tightly crossed around your chest as you struggled to get the words out. Taeyong hated seeing you this way and it pained him even more to know that it was his fault. “Y/n what you overheard was a private conversation with Johnny that I said under an enormous amount of stress and it wasn't true,” he calmly explained. Your tears momentarily halted as you brokenly asked “Are you sure?” in reassurance. Taeyong didn't say anything but open his arms for you. Immediately you ran to his arms as he tightly held you “I'm so sorry, Y/n.”

J o h n n y

Johnny sighed as he rubbed his temples. There was so much going on his life and he just wanted to lay in bed and cuddle with you. But you were angry with him and he couldn't figure out why. Between you and work he felt like he was being torn apart. Sighing heavily he looked up at you “Y/n I need you to tell me what's wrong otherwise I can't do anything about it,” Johnny stated trying to help the situation. “Im just being less clingy, that's what you wanted, right?’ you asked in a slightly sarcastic tone of voice. Johnny's brows furrowed as he racked his brain for answers, why would you think,,,,,Mark. “What did Mark tell you?” his anger was bubbling a little more. “Mark didn't tell me anything. I went to the dorms to drop off some stuff that you left when I heard you tell him I was annoyingly clingy so I left,” you explained the situation. “Y/n I,,I guess I didn't realize how much I love your clinginess until you stopped in. Im sorry,” he sighed while the weight finally lifted from your shoulders. You smiled and opened your arms, missing giving your giant teddy bear of a boyfriend hugs.

Y u t a

He stared out the window with a blank look on his face. The image of your sadden expression burning into his mind. It was his fault, really. You guys got into a pretty bad fight and he was just upset over that. While ranting to Sicheng about you and the whole ordeal he said that you were “overly clingy to the point it was creepy.” What he did not expect was for you to go to the practice room to apologize for the fight, overhearing the comments he made. Your face shown pure agony, his heart breaking more every millisecond. Regret. He felt regret that he didn't run after you to explain himself. “Im creepy,,huh?” your voice sounded shattered as you spoke with seemingly no emotion. “Y/n,,I didn't mean it like that I was just upset. You're not creepy and I don't know why I even said that,” Yuta said, now the one crying.”I mean at the time I meant it but now that i've calmed down I don't,,,can you please forgive me?” Yuta added hopelessly. Your whole body felt tired and like you'd spent the past hours running miles. You knew Yuta, that sometimes he said things he didn't mean. Almost like you were being pulled to him you wrapped your arms around his sitting figure, his head resting in your chest. “Im glad you dont care that i'm clingy”

D o y o u n g

Doyoung stared at the menu as he continued to talk about his relationship. He confided in Taeyong with private and personal problems, and trusted his advice. Sat at a table a few rows back your grip on the glass began to tighten the more he spoke. Sitting across from you, your dear friend watch with a saddened expression. “I thought things between you both were going good?,” she questioned, voice laced with obvious confusion. You didn’t say anything but placed some money on the table and sat up to leave. You couldn’t bare to stay there any longer, hearing the things Doyoung was saying about you was really hurting you. Once you arrived at your shared apartment you laid in bed and quietly wept. After a few hours your phone lit up showing that Doyoung was calling. Rolling to your side you ignored it, not wanting to talk to him just yet. A few more hours had passed when Doyoung barges into the apartment, confused and worried as to why you never answered his calls. “Y/n?,” he called our softly, carefully pushing the bedroom door open. Even in the dark room he could make out your silhouette in the bed. “Hey what’s wrong?,” he asked already knowing something was up. Despite wanting to yell at him you turned over and looked him dead in the eyes “Why are you being so clingy?” Was what you had asked with ill intentions. Immediately he understood your reasons behind not answering the phone. “You weren't supposed to hear that,” he simply said. You felt the bed dip as he took a seat upon the comfy thing. “Yeah and what else haven't I heard that I wasn't supposed to? What else have you been saying?” Doyoung could tell you were rightfully upset. “Y/n,,I,,I did mean it when I say you're clingy, but If I had a problem with it wouldn't I have told you? Im a straight up person,” Doyoung confessed, hands reaching over towards your figure. It was silent for a moment as you processed his words. Sighing heavily you rolled to face him “Do you promise that it doesn't bother you severely?’ you questioned earning a nod from Doyoung. He leaned down a placed a gentle kiss on your cheek “I mean it.”

J a e h y u n

He always got a little ancy with the interviewers starts asking questions about their dating life. Its a question every idol dreads to hear but has to sit through anyway. Jaehyun, he is always tried to make a joke of it. He may have made it funny for all his fans but all his joke did was hurt the person he cared most about, you. You haven't been answering his texts or calls since the day that video went up. He pulled the mask tighter over his face and rushed to your apartment. Technically he wasn't supposed to leave the dorm today but he wanted to see your face. “Y/n,” he called out while banging on your door. “Y/n,,please open the door,” he said with more desperation. You slowly walked to the door,,feet stopping at the edge as you stared at it. “I know what i said hurt you and im sorry about that,” Jaehyun added, not even sure if you were there. Pressing your back against the door you slid down, Jaehyun doing the same on the other side. “I shouldn't have said that gf who is clingy would be the worst, because for me, a gf who is clingy is the best. A gf who is clingy is the best thing that has ever happened to me,” Jaehyuns voice sounded broken. He needed to see your face, he needed to hug you and make sure everything was okay. The second he heard the sound of the door unlock his heart raced with excitement. You opened the door and pulled him in for a hug. Jaehyun tightly squeezed back and placed kisses on the top of your head. “Oh my god I missed you so much,” he said while bending down to place a kiss on your lips

W i n w i n

Winwin wasnt the type of person to be honest with his emotions but you could always read what he was thinking. “Y/n,,I didnt mean to call you clingy,,yes sometimes you a get a little attached but the only times it bothers me is when im already in a bad mood,” Winwin quietly explained. He felt upset with himself for ever saying those things about you when he knew that they were some of the things he loved the most. You wiped the tears from your eyes using the paws on your sweater. “Are you sure?” you questioned, unsure if he was being truthful. You could tell in the way he looked and in the way he was acting that something was bothering him. Winwin then did something that took you by surprise, he was never one to initiate romantic things first, it was always you. Reaching out, Winwin grabbed you by your waist and pulled your body flush against his. He looked into your eyes with an intense emotion before slowly leaning down and pressing a kiss to your lips, his tongue teasingly darting out. You two stayed like that a few seconds longer than you should have but when he pulled away you were flushed and out of breath. “I really do mean my apology, Y/n. I love you,” he quietly said, seemingly embarrassed with his previous actions.

J u n g w o o

Jungwoo stared at you for a few seconds, he brain racking over everything that had happened. “Why,,why are we breaking up I thought everything was fine?” he asked, tears already flowing like a hydrant. Seeing his broken face broke you even more. Your voice, barely above a whisper, finally came out “Because our communication isn't the best,,and no good relationship has bad communication.” Jungwoo hands grasped out for your wrist holding you in place and not letting you leave. “What should we tell eachother then? Y/n I cant have you go, you're the only thing that's holding me together right now,,please,” his voice cracked and he looked shattered. Your chest heaved up and down as loud sobs erupted from you. “I accidentally read your texts and I saw you tell Lucas I was clingy,,” you confessed, convinced that he would want to break up then. “That's what this is all about? Goodness Y/n you should've talked to me first. Yes you get clingy but tis not a serous issues, what's a serious issue is how hot you eat your food,” Jungwoo cracked a joke. Your tears fell even harder as you pulled him in for a hug. “I'm so sorry for ever suggesting it I should've talked to you first,” you cried like a little baby in his arms. Jungwoo swayed side to side, holding you tightly and cherishing every second of it.

M a r k

You often read over Marks lyrics, whether they were going to be used or nt you loved to read them. It always felt like you got a insight into what was really going on in that Canadians head. Your fingers flipped the page as you started on the next song. “Cling to me” was the title as you guessed since it was written sloppily at the top. Some of the words were smeared due to something having been spilt on it but you did your best to read it anyway. At first ti seemed like a light hearted song but as the lyrics progressed you realized it was about you. A song about how loving it was at first to have someone cling to you only for it to be over bearing and annoying. The door opened as Mark walked in, his eyes skimmed the room only to see you reading his journal. “Oh, I haven’t been writing lately,” he said, plopping down next to you. When you didn’t respond right away Mark noticed that you looked distraught. “y/n?” he questioned before his eyes slowly moved to the page. He felt his heart drop momentarily before his hand darted out to cover the page. “Don’t continue reading this, before you saying anything let me explain. I wrote this after our last fight and I was angry,,I didn't mean it. Flip the page,” Mark instructed while flipping the page for you seeing as you wouldn't listen. “I wrote this he next day after seeing what I wrote the previous night, I didn't mean to write those things, Y/n.” Holding back tears and wanting to listen to him you glanced up at the top “Eyes of an Angel” was the title of this song. Reading the lyrics you let the tears drop. “Eyes of an Angel” was a song about how you always saw him for him and how it was yours eyes that pulled him out of some of his darkest times. About how he was thankful that the first thing he got to see in the morning was your eyes staring back at him. Leaning over he pulled you into a hug and kissed the top of your head “I really should rip that page out,” he mumbled while pulling your lips to his, giving you the sweetest and most gentle kiss he ever had

H a e c h a n

Haechan was a playful spirit, that was something everyone knew. Infact it were his light hearted jokes and his childish teasing that gave him a lot of fans, plus It didn't help that he was incredibly good-looking. Haechan was teasing Mark about how he never lets him hug him or give him kisses. Your feet padded against the ground as you made your way to the dorm, ready to finally drop off Haechans clothes that you stole and promised to return. “Yeah well you know who is really clingy?? Y/n,,sometimes I cant breath when Y/n is in the room-” you stopped in your tracks, dropped his clothes on the ground and spun around on your heels. “clingy,,but,,,Haechan,,with,,he,,me??” you mumbled incoherently to yourself. “-its not like I have a problem with that though, her clinginess is a big reason why I love her,” Haechan finished his sentence, confused as to why Mark was staring behind him funny. “I swear I heard someone,” Mark slowly walked towards the hallway, Haechan not far behind. Peaking over the corner Marks eyebrows went from being knitted in confusion to panic. “Okay Haechan, DON'T PANIC BUT-” Mark was quickly interrupted by the younger bright boy “WHAT DO YOU MEAN DON'T PANIC?? NOW IM PANICKING WITHOUT KNOWING WHATS WRONG,” the young boy yelled back. “Sorry,,,I uh,,,I think Y/n was here to drop off your clothes but for some reason she dropped them,” Mark directed Haechans line of sight to his clothes on the ground. “Fuck. She probably heard me calling her clingy and left,” Haechan quickly pushed past Mark, pace picking up as he attempted to catch you before you got back on the train. The second her caught sight of your hair, bouncing as you hurriedly walked he couldn't help but scream your name. You froze in place long enough for him to catch up, with his hands on his knees and his favorite hoodie in his hands. “You,,you didnt hear it all,,I called you clingy,,but I also said thats why I,,I love you,,please,,take this back and,,,come back to the dorm,” Haechan said in between heavy pants. “Oh my gosh im so stupid,,sorry Haechan,” you said with a giggle, putting his favorite hoodie on. He stared at you in disbelief for a few seconds before pulling you in for a tight hug. “Its not fair you look better in my stuff than I do.”

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fucnhg-slee-p · 5 years ago

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C+L4EVR (Part2)

In potions class she sat sandwiched between Cedric and Harry. snape was saying something liza couldn’t be bothered with at the moment. “Psst” Cedric leaned in “what’s your birthday plan?” He whispered. “Huh? Probably nothing as usual, you know how much is hate my birthday” Cedric sighed as the bell rang signaling the class was over. They walked into the hall together “liza will you spend this birthday with me this year? Instead of going back home”

Liza looked up at him, shocked for some reason “you want me to stay?” 

“Yes, i know you’ll have a much better time here than with your family. Please stay, ill even hang out with draco for the day too”

Liza stopped in her tracks “wait, did i just hear you properly? You’ll hang out with draco? For me?” The smile on her face couldn’t contain itself. “I can’t believe you’d really do that. Last time you tried you said you’d never do it again”

“Yeah well i wanna make your birthday the best it can be so... ill do it”

He gave her a warm smile that made her knees go weak. Cedric had clearly been talking for a few minutes but time felt as if it had slowed down and all liza could think of was how good he looked right now, holding his books to his chest silently wishing it could be her in his arms instead of those stupid books... “liza?” Cedric waved his hand in front of her face as an attempt to get her out of her trance, “were you even listening? This whole time i was going on and you heard none of it” he pretended to act hurt but couldn’t help the chuckle that forced itself out of him. “Shit I’m sorry Ced, i got lost in m head.”

“It’s alright, darling. It wasn’t important anyway” he was actually glad she hadn’t heard a single thing he’d said because that meant he could surprise her with his plan for her birthday

“god, how am i ever supposed to get over him” she thought as they continued walking to their next class.

_________________________________________

Weeks passed and neither Cedric or draco had mentioned her birthday recently, maybe Cedric changed his mind about wanting her to celebrate her birthday in hogwarts. It almost seemed as if both of them were avoiding her.

For the last few days she’d been hanging out with Fred and George, joining in on their pranks to distract her mind from the hurt of her best friends acting so strange and distant. The twins were like her older brothers, they were always so kind to her. She loved spending time with them and it was nice to be seeing more of them recently, something she discovered about the twins which isn’t really something you’d expect from them was that they loved to stargaze. Laying outside hagedis hut staring into the night sky in between them was very quickly also one of her favorite pastimes. The only problem was that she deeply wished that it was Cedric that she lay beside staring straight into the shimmering sky.

Her birthday was in 1 day and she was devastated at the thought that she wouldn’t really be spending it with Cedric or even draco seeing as neither of them were anywhere to be found. “You alright, darling?” Fred asked as he noticed silent tears falling from her eyes. She nodded and said nothing

“Can we let you in on a secret?” George started, she looked at him as if to let him know to continue with whatever he was about to say, “well, the thing is we know something you might be interested in” he said as he wiped a tear from her cheek

Liza looked puzzled, what on earth was he on about “well, we think its about your birthday, love” Fred half whispered, she then turned to his direction assuming he’d continue but he said nothing else, “well? What is it then?” She asked getting impatient

The twins gave each other a look, at this point liza decided to sit up and turn to face the both of them still Laying down with their hands behind their heads because it was getting hard to look back and fourth between them.

“So the other day we saw Cedric” george started “and draco” Fred continued

“Together” they said in unison

“Together? What? Were they arguing or something?”

“That’s the thing, they weren’t!” George said with wide eyes to make it more dramatic

“Well what were they doing?”

“Well we weren’t entirely sure, and of course it got us quite interested so we followed them for a while and it turns out they’re working on some kind of project” once again Fred continued George’s sentence “a..project? The two of them working on it together? Are you two mad?”

The whole idea of that was so insane it wasn’t even funny “what kind of joke is that its so unrealistic” liza huffed irritated with their bad attempt at a joke

“What?” The boys said in sync, it was always a little creepy when they did that. They sat up at the same time, looking puzzled “we aren’t joking, darling” said George “we really did see it, we could hardly believe it ourselves and we saw it happen”

“I haven’t seen them in weeks and all of a sudden now that they’ve been avoiding me they’ve decided to become friends?” Liza was furious now instead of sad, her best friends had been getting along without her? What a horrible feeling she had, “i mean i know Cedric said he would try to get along with draco but why are they avoiding me i just don’t understand” with that she was sad again and confused, so confused

“Well our assumption was that they were planning something for you, it’s what it looked like” Fred said while standing up and holding his hand out to liza as if to help her up, she took his hand and George stood as well. “I think it’s about time for bed now, let’s head back” Fred stated and the group agreed slowly walking back to the castle.

————————

One very long walk later she’d finally made it back to the Slytherin common room being too exhausted to make it up to the sleeping area, she had plopped herself down on the couch and almost fell asleep when she had heard footsteps coming down the boys dorms. Quickly she pretended to be asleep and whoever decided they were going to sneak out almost made it out before seeing her in their peripheral vision and stopped in their tracks turning back to look at her and sight made them sigh sadly. She was still in her school uniform and looked so uncomfortable. He walked up to her and placed the blanket that was draped over the back of the couch over her body, kissed her forehead, whispered “sleep tight, love” then proceeded to sneak out. She knew it was draco, she could tell from the moment he’d made it Down the stairs. After she was sure he was gone she went upstairs and got into her bed but didn’t sleep at all.

—-

Today was her birthday, it was too late to sped it back home now so she begrudgingly got dressed and put makeup on, heading to the great hall for breakfast the second she walked through the door of the Slytherin common room though she was met with draco, Cedric and...16 cakes floating around them? The boys laughed awkwardly then sang happy birthday in unison. “This has to be a dream” she said, her voice laced with shock and disbelief. “First of all thank you, but fuck you guys for completely ignoring me for so long” she was happy about what was in front of her but still hurt “I’m so sorry we’ve been working for hard to plan this whole day” draco and Cedric said at the same time sounding genuinely sorry and worried. She hugged them both as tight as she could “I love you guys so much” she said with tears in her eyes “I love you too” Cedric said, his tone becoming more serious. Draco and Liza gave each other a look. Cedric immediately snapping out of it and laughed mentally kicking himself for being so stupid and awkward. draco awkwardly coughed “Liza follow us we have a surprise” grabbing her hand and pulling her along. Cedric following along right by her side wishing he was holding her hand instead. Wait what? He obviously only thought that because his hands were cold, no other reason.. right?

She was lead into the room of requirement and was met with all of her friends gathered around and talking. Immediately stopping what they were doing to shout “happy birthday” the 16 cakes had followed the trio the whole way and landed safely on a dining table and arranged themselves to spell “happy birthday liz” with each cake having its own letter on it. Balloons of all colors and shapes filled the room. Liza started tearing up “thank you guys so much” she hugged them both. After they pulled away Cedric wiped her tears away “don’t cry, love”

———-

The party itself was quite fun, everyone was drinking and getting along well, and there wasnt a single fight from Cedric and draco, not even bickering, which was odd but liza thought she shouldn’t mention it tonight because everything was so perfect she didn’t want to ruin it by bringing it up.

It was nearing the end of the party, everyone had eaten cake awhile ago by now and liza had already opened all of her gifts which were mostly cute clothes. Neville had gotten her a small ceramic frog with a witch hat on and Ron had gotten her a ceramic kitten, also dressed as a witch, Presumably they’d planned that. draco got her a nice necklace with a moon charm on it. But she didn’t get a gift from Cedric which didn’t matter because of all of the work he and draco had put into making her such a nice party.

As everyone was leaving, heading into the hall Cedric pulled her aside and pulled out a small jewelry box from is pocket. “I wanted to give this to you separately from all the other gifts because its kind of special” his voice laced with nervousness, his cheeks were bright red. Hesitating, he handed it to her. Inside was a bracelet that he’d clearly made himself with lettered beads on it that said “C+L” and stuck to the inside of the lid was a printed photo of them together. Liza smiled up at him “i love it, ced” she put it on and hugged him. When they pulled away he kept his hands on her shoulders. “Liza.. t-there’s something i have to tell you” his hands slowly going down the length of her arms to hold her hands. She gave him a look as if to continue and he did. “I’m- i, uh.. well, I’m in love with you” liza was stunned, she’d been waiting to hear that for so long this had to be a dream. “You’re.. in love with me? Are you sure?” She had worry in her face as if maybe it was some sick joke. He looked down too embarrassed to look at her now, he thought she was rejecting him, “yeah, I’ve been sure since year 3” he said with tears starting to form in his eyes, looking back up at her he started rambling “I understand that you don’t feel the same and its okay, i hope this wont make anth-“ it was as if she wasnt in control of her own body as she leant up to kiss him, holding his face in her hands. In shock Cedric was still for a moment before he leaned into her touch, deepening the kiss. They both felt dizzy with adrenaline and it was the best thing they’d ever felt. Cedric pulled her closer so there was no room between them. They slowly pulled away, still embraced in each other’s arms, he rested his forehead against hers “i love you too” she said smiling so wide her cheeks hurt. “I love you so much”

Draco still in the room coughed loudly as they were leaning in to kiss again “you better not snog in front of me all the time now, i think i might get sick” he said with a false disgust. Walking away towards everyone else he smiled and winked at liza.

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parkersvibes · 6 years ago

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finding out peter is spiderman

read part one here

a/n: omg guys. i got so much feedback from you all on part one so i decided to make a part 2. and yeahh i really hope you guys enjoy. if you do lmk and i’ll do a part 3 (:

(i also apologize if the read more doesnt work )))): )

warnings: fluff, a smidge on angst

pt 2. peter parker x stark!reader

• figuring out he was spiderman

• alright you’re a stark

• but no one knows that

• but you’re really intuitive

• so there were little things you started to notice

• after uncle ben died there was some weird shit (if you want a part ab comforting peter ab uncle ben lemme know. he deserves his own part)

• like how he stopped wearing his adorable glasses

•and i guess started almost bulking up????

• he got WAY taller

• and usually you’re used to seeing him shirtless but this one time you walked in on him

• holy mother of god

• IT WAS LIKE HE GREW ABS OVER NIGHT

• BECAUSE FRESHMAN PETE DID NOT HAVE A 6 PACK

• freshman peter also got winded walking up the stairs

• AND NOW HE’S RUNNING LAPS IN GYM LIKE ITS NOTHING ??

• must be nice

• but then things got more sus

• all of a sudden he was skipping class more

• leaving early

• cancelling study sessions and skipping movie nights with ned

• and you and ned were clueless

• you and ned started hanging out more

• MR. LEEDS IS HILARIOUS LEMME TELL YOU

• he was like this little ball of happiness

• you found out his real name is Edward

• HOW CUTE

• and WOW HIS MOM BEING FILIPINA MEANT THAT YOU WERE BEING FED ALL THE TIME OH MY GOD

• ngl pete got a bit jealous

• one night,,, when pete cancelled YET AGAIN

• ned asked you, “hey y/n?”

• “hm”

• “why don’t we ever hang out at your place”

• “i told you ned, my family is just a lot yanno. plus your family and may are really cool”

• “okay but how come you don’t have any social media under your name?”

• “wdym?”

• “like you go by ‘y/n Smith’ but everything that pops up on the internet isn’t YOU”

• “pfff i told you,,, i dont believe in that stuff”

• “y/n, you know you can tell me anything”

• you wanted to be honest. this was one of your best friends. and you’ve been lying to them about your family for over a year now

• “ned i just. it’s complicated”

• “like peter’s family?”

• “nonono, i’m lucky to have both of my parents- well i have a step mom. my real mom wanted nothing to do with me. so she left me on the steps of my dads house. never came back”

• “oh shit bro, i’m sorry”

• “nah don’t worry. my dad is really cool and my step mom... she’s awesome.”

• “what’re their names”

• NATASHA WAS GONNA KILL YOU IF SHE COULD SEE HOW BAD YOU WERE STRUGGLING

• “well- uh- my step moms name is,,, um. well her real name is Virginia”

• THE WORLD KNEW PEPPER AS PEPPER NOT VIRGINIA

• “and my- my dads name is ehm... st, steve???”

• natasha was gonna have your ass

• “y/n,,,”

• “yeah”

• “you’re a horrible liar”

• “PFFF WHAAAT? NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT”

• “dude you left your spiderman fan tumblr open on my laptop that one night,,, and i MAY have done some snooping”

• okay you mightve had a slight obsession with the webslinger. HE WAS COOL. and what better way to keep track of him without alerting your family,,, good ol tumblr

• oh god ned, HOW MUCH SNOOPING”

• “enough to know that you have a weird obsession with that spider guy and that your last name isnt smith”

• so you told him the truth. you were a stark

• and well,,, he reacted with

• “okay cmon,,, don’t lie”

• so you showed him your late night dance parties with Nat when she was feeling goofy

• and your random snaps of steve when he was trying to figure out how to work technology

• videos of you reacting to vines with bucky

(if yall wanna see domestic life with the avengers just lmk)

• which usually results with THE WINTER SOLDIER ALMOST PEEING HIS PANTS. and trying to reenact it with sam or the other avengers

• “heyheyehy y/n guess what?”

• “what bucky?” *is in the middle of doing hw*

• “FRESHOVACADO” *bolts out of the room before you throw something at him*

• only the two of you getting vine and meme references

• (meaning getting in trouble during meetings bc you’ll make eye contact and start laughing)

• OH HIS FAVORITE IS THE “country boiiii, i love you,,, 😛”

• anywaayyy

• ned was SHOOK

• “nowayohmygodyoureanavenger”

• “no ned,,, only when they need me to be”

• *led to him asking 100000 questions*

• “does Mr. America smell like old man”

• “what language does Ms. Widow think in”

• “how many shirts does Mr. Hulk own”

• “so do they wear normal clothes or are they always PREPARED”

• “does your dad have to walk a weird way when hes in his suit”

• “do they ever chafe in their suits”

• “yes ned. we’re stocked up on baby powder”

• which you didnt mind bc it felt nice telling the truth

• ned WANTED TO TELL PETER SO BAD

• “ned no, i don’t want him to think of me differently”

• he understood. but still defended peter and said that hed still treat you the same

• anyway,,, peter started showing up with bruises and stuff which had you v concerned

• “pete what’s up? you’ve been avoiding ned and i and you have skipped out on every movie night since sophomore year started”

• “t’s nothing. dont worry ab it”

• “peter cmon, it’s just me”

• you figured maybe it had to do with ben??? but you gave him his space. you just wanted to be there for him yanno. you didnt want him to shut you out

• “Y/N I SAID ITS NOTHING. FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN YOU LEAVE ME ALONE???” he snapped (and not in the good way)

• and this was on your way to class so the whole hallway heard

• ouch

• so you left him alone. probably more than he meant. but it hurt

• i mean he was your first friend here, and now he yelled at you to leave you alone

• ned felt awful at first. trying to comfort you and tell you it wasnt your fault

• but then he started acting weird. whenever you brought up peter hed be super antsy about it

• you- “i think he got into another fight or something”

• ned- “pFFT PETER? FIGHTING? no way,,, i got-i gotta go”

• so you figured that whatever peter was hiding, ned knew about,, which also hurt your feelings

• so you closed off

• and wow could the super family tell something was wrong

• wanda- “little stark, i can feel your sadness all the way to my room”

• sam/bucky/rhodes- “okay what’s the deal, we’ve played 5 rounds of fortnite and you havent once rage quit even though you’re doing terrible”

• tony- “kid, what’s wrong? everyone here can tell you’re not feeling great”

• nat- “cmon. ive given you 3 opportunities to kick my ass and you havent once complained about me going easy?”

• thor- “lady y/n what is causing you distress? not once have you smiled, i even wore my hair in pigtails,,, and that seems to always do the trick”

• and you gave the same response every time “‘m just tired” “lots of homework”

• they noticed you werent going out on weekends anymore

• so tony figured that your friend group and you were having some Stuff

• pep gave him an idea of meeting his new prodigy

• now tony knew it’d be kinda sus because peter went to midtown but he figured that if the kid kept his mask on it’d be fine

• “dad i don’t wanna see another one of your weird maid robots”

• “wha- no i want you to meet someone”

• “dad college isn’t for another 2 years. if it’s your friend from MIT-“

• then right before your eyes was the insect boy that youve been admiring through the internet

• needless to say

• your jaw dripped

• “y/n meet spiderling, spiderling meet my daughter y/n stark”

• *seconds pass*

• “i uh- oH- um- sp-spidERman, h-hi. biG fan of you- your work”

• *silence*

• you- “oH dad diD you hear th-that? moM is calling mE”

• tony- “what?? pep wouldve called on the interco-“

• spiderman- “y/n”

• you- SHOOK TO THE CORE BECAUSE YOU KNEW THAT VOICE. THAT WAS THE VOICE THAT SOUNDED LIKE HONEY BUT COULD CUT YOU DEEPER THAN ANY WEAPON IN YOUR HOUSE

• you- “p-peter???”

• tony- *shocked pikachu face* “you know each other???”

• you- “so-something like that yeah”

• peter takes off his mask

• “ohmygodpeterisspiderman”

• “ohmygodyourlastnameisntsmith”

• tony- “im gonna let you guys figure this out” *walks backward slowly*

*insert silence*

• you- “so this is what you were hiding, huh?” with a cold tone

• “IM HIDING? YOU LIED ABOUT YOUR WHOLE HOME LIFE TO NED AND I”

• *yelling at each other for another minute. even though you couldnt hear what the other is saying*

• you- *yelling loudest “I DIDNT WANT YOU TO SEE ME DIFFERENTLY OKAY”

• peter- “you really thought id do that?” (heartbreaking voice)

• you- “i- once i got to know you, i knew you wouldnt but i was scared. i didn’t know how to tell you. for once in my life i had found someone my age who liked ME for ME. not for my name or money or my dad. and i didn’t want to change that. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner”

• peter- “... i get what you mean. after ben died everyone gave me that look. except you and ned.”

• you- “why didn’t you tell me”

• peter- “everyone i love or ever cared about dies. my parents and then my uncle ben. so once i got my abilities i knew that the risk was even higher and i didn’t want to put you in that position. i wanted to keep you safe. but it seems like you know how to handle yourself” (referring to the fact that you grew up with THE EARTHS MIGHTIEST HEROS)

• y/n- “so how come ned found out?”

• peter *scratches back of neck* “well- he- i- May let him in my room and i happen to be crawling on the ceiling in my suit and he dropped the death star” *head hangs in shame*

• you had to giggle at that i mean CMON

• you stepped closer to him

• “pete you’re my best friend. you can tell me anything okay?”

• “no more secrets?”

• “no more secrets”

• and you both pinky promise and your thumbs “kiss” bc IF THEY ITS THE ULTIMATE UNBREAKABLE VOW DONT @ ME

• peter parker gives you the biggest hug that maKES YOUR HEART JUMP BC PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH A PERSON AS PRETTY AS HIM MAKES YOUR HEART FEEL A CERTAIN WAY

• but you wrapped your arms around his neck and enjoyed the moment

• wow he is really cozy

• * the avengers are watching from the cameras in awe*

• led to MANY questions at dinner

• and so everything went back to “normal”

• it wasn’t until you went to bed that night that you realized peter said the L word

• WHAT

• so much for no secrets

taglist: @silver-winter-wolf @emmmmszy @everythingaboutnothingsstuff @rexorangecouny @wishiwasanavenger @marjoherbo @nologinisoksothatsit @mindset-jupiter @hpnjrph @soup238

some favs/mutrals: @h-osterfield @starksparker @stuckonspidey @sunshinehollandd @keepingupwiththeparkers @hey-marlie @spyder-bites

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ridiculousravenclaw · 5 years ago

Text

The life of Elara Ware - chapter 3

So, funny story. I accidentally shut myself out of this account when I forgot my damn password. Then there was this pandemic and being technically a key worker, that was stress. Then I just started writing other stuff. So yeah, I kinda left this behind, which was a shame because I had a lot planned for it. But anyway here's chapter 3 as I wrote it ages ago and who knows, maybe I'll keep going. FYI I could not be bothered to go back and check it so theres almost definitely a spelling mistake or some grammatical errors. Sorry about it.

The next few days at The Burrow passed far too quickly for Elaras liking. It could be hectic at times with so many of them in one house. A fact Mrs Weasley continuously apologised for. But Elara, so used to being alone, loved the business of life at the Weasleys. She had missed George more than she thought she could. They relished in the time they spent together and, when they were sure no one was around to see, stole as many kisses as they could. With so many of them in the house though the later was practically impossible and more than once their embrace had been broken up my someone walking suddenly into the room. Ron couldn't look Elara in the eye for days after he walked in to find a particularly passionate scene. In fairness it was actually his room.

The fullness of the house had at least meant that they could stage 4 a side quidditch matches in the garden with the Weasleys and Harry. Hermione preferred to watch. When they weren't doing that Elara found she enjoyed chatting with Ginny, who to Elaras great surprise was not as girly or shy as she thought she was. Or talking with the eldest 2 Weasley boys; neither of whom she'd met before and had a number of interesting tales about the twins growing up. Then there was Harry, Ron and Hermione. They were a bit of an unlikely trio and Elara was convinced Ron fancied Hermione, but nether the less they were obviously good friends and Elara enjoyed spending time with them. Especially Harry. She'd always really liked Harry Potter, he didn't want the pitty the world gave him, he just wanted a normal life. Elara found she really respected that. The only person in the house Elara found she clashed with was Percy. Though she got the impression that it wasn't just her he had that affect on. For lack of a better word, Percy was a bit of a snob. Thankfully she rarely saw him as he spent most days at work and often chose to stay late most nights.

It was the last day of the holidays and they were all sat in the living room except for Mr Weasley who still wasn't back from work. Elara had parked herself on the furthest seat from her boyfriend and his twin. There was 2 reasons for this. First it meant she didnt have to resist the temptation of his soft lips whilst everyone was here to see. Secondly it made it far easier to feign ignorance to what the pair were currently doing. As they sat huddled together, talking in hushed whispers. She wasnt entirely sure what they were up to but it was almost certainly to do with Weasleys Wizard Wheezes, something Mrs Weasley highly disapproved of. As she sat alone she found her mind wondering and without meaning to found herself going over the dream she'd had the night before. She couldn't explain why but it had been bothering her all day. It wasn't a scary dream or in anyway disturbing. But Elara found herself shaken up by it none the less. Especially as she was almost certain she'd had that exact dream before.

In the dream Elara was walking through the woods at night. The only respite from the dark provided by the moon as its faint light battled through the thick branche above. She's looking for something but what it is or where she should look remains a mystery. Still she keeps going. Undeterred as the trees and undergrowth becomes denser and more wild. Then all of a sudden she sees a shape moving through the shadows. It slides slowly through the trees towards her until it stops in a clearing ahead. Bathing in the moonlight is a great white fox. Larger than any fox had the right to be and more majestic than any she'd seen. Its pure white coat shining brightly as though lighting up from within. Elara feels a pang of familiarity deep in her heart as she looks into its eyes. She doesn't run or scream. She knows she's safe. The white fox is here to help her, like a mother looking out for her cub. Its gaze is mesmerising and Elara could read the message in its eyes. 'follow me. I'll show you where it is'

"hey! daydreamer! wake up!" Elara was suddenly pulled out of her thoughts to find the whole room staring at her. She shakes herself mentally, uncomfortable by the sudden attention on her.

"sorry" she said trying to laugh it off dismissively "miles away"

"whatcha thin huh in abou?" asked Ron mid yawn. Elara sighed

"that out of all Georges siblings I like you the least" she said dryly

"really?"

"no" she says with a smile, earning a few laughs. Ron a few seconds behind the others before he got the joke.

Suddenly his face changed

"woah!" he said, staring at Elara in amazement.

"what?" Elara said. she suddenly felt a bit self conscious.

"your eyes are different colours!"

"oh" She giggled breathing a sigh of relief. "you've just noticed? really? how long have I known you?"

Everyone was laughing again

"what. have they always been like that?"

"yes!" everyone else said in chorus.

"Since I was a baby Ron. what did you think I did it deliberately? I got bored one day and coloured one in with a sharpie?"

Ron made a face somewhere between confusion and embarrassment.

"what's a sharpie?" Ah, Elara thought. muggle reference, complete miss.

" Well we all know ickle Ronnie kins is a complete idiot at the best of times. "Said George as he crossed the room and squeezed on the armchair next to Elara before pulling her onto his lap.

"what is a sharpie?" he added to her at a whisper. Elara smiled and shook her head dismissively. The rest of the room going back to their individual conversations.

"muggle stuff" she answered

"Ah. well then whatever you do, dont mention it in front of dad. he'll get all excited and interrogate you again." George said as he started rubbing small circles onto her hip with his thumb. Elara couldn't help but smile at the gesture.

"oh stop it hes not that bad. " She said rolling her eyes.

"yes he is, remember when you mentioned the cinema?" Elara laughed. She did remember that. It had taken her the best part of an hour to explain the concept to Mr Weasley.

"Anyway. Don't be so mean to your brother, as I recall it took you months to bloody notice." George looked blank for a moment.

"notice what?" he asked

"my eyes!"

"oh" he remarked, realisation dawning.

"it wasnt months was it? maybe a few weeks" Elara was giggling now, enjoying the slight embarrassment creeping into George's cheeks.

"nope definitely months. it was around Christmas time. remember? you thought I'd done it with magic to be all christmassy. Though how that's a christmassy thing to do I dont know."

"oh. yeah. well... that's only cause I'm not a weird person who stares at pretty girls eyes" George said, mockingly batting his eyelids at her. Elara grinned fondly at him, then leaned forward and left a light peck on his lips.

"Yeah you are."

"a couple of months is good for him" Fred said " George didn't realise we were identical until we were 7" Elara started slightly having not realised Fred had come over. He was sat on the floor next Charlie looking amused.

"in fairness that's not so obvious as I have always been way better looking than you." George retorted quickly.

Both twins sniggered and Elara noted that even their laughter was the same.

"did we mention he's delusional? sure you want him El?" Fred said

"Oh someone sounds jealous to me. Don't worry Fred I'm sure we can find a girl to take pity and go out with you"

Elara could tell this verbal tennis wasn't going to stop anytime soon.

" *cough* testosterone *cough* "

"oh look your fathers coming" Mrs Weasley suddenly announced getting everyones attention. Sure enough the hand on the grand father clock which bore mr Weasleys likeness had moved and now pointed at travelling. Then it moved once more settleing with the other hands on home. At the same time the door opened and Mr Weasleys voice could be heard from the kitchen. Mrs Weasley scuttled out to greet him. With the others distracted by this Elara inexplicably found her mind once again wondering back to her dream and the White Fox. Its magnetic familiar eyes drawing her in.

"you okay?" George said quietly. Wrapping his arms around Elara protectively and pulling her back to the present.

"yeah of course" She said trying to sound as casual as possible. George wasnt convinced. He knew her far too well and having shared it with him that morning knew what she was thinking about.

"It was just a dream you know El. I know it was a bit freaky. But it cant hurt you" he said, squeezing her arm reassuringly. That's just the thing, she thought, it wasn't scary to me. But she smiled at him appreciatively.

"I know"

#fanfic #george weasley #georgeweasleysgf #gryffindor #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #the weasleys #fred weasley #mr weasley #mrs weasley #weasley wizard wheezes #ron weasley #hermione granger #elara ware #hogwarts #amateurhour

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