#she’s trying to get over the death of her best friend
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TROUBLE ─── RAFE CAMERON (part two)
part one!
⟢ ┈ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 6k
⟢ ┈ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | after that fateful night, you begin to see rafe cameron differently - and it seems like he feels the same.
⟢ ┈ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | ooc!rafe, teasing, descriptions of bullying (?), sweet rafe, a lot of word vomit, um... idk what else? it's pretty sweet and wholesome
⟢ ┈ 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 | @psychicnatural @evermorx89 @slipawaylrh @renasjourney @aesthetic-lyss
The thing about Rafe Cameron is that he doesn’t linger.
Not in the way you might expect. He has a reputation for showing up, making noise, and leaving behind chaos in his wake. Rafe doesn’t hover, doesn’t check back, doesn’t get involved. But ever since that night—since the low rumble of his voice pulled you from the edge of panic and his steady presence walked you safely out of danger—it feels like he’s everywhere.
You tell yourself it’s nothing. A coincidence. But the truth is, you’ve caught him watching you more than once. At Sarah’s party last weekend, his eyes found you across the bonfire, the flickering light sharpening his sharp features and softening his smirk. At The Wreck, when you stopped by for takeout, he was there at the bar, casually nursing a drink, his gaze flicking to you the moment you walked in.
And now, standing in the backyard of the Cameron estate during Sarah’s infamous summer party, you can feel the weight of his presence even though you haven’t seen him yet tonight.
It’s like he’s threaded into the atmosphere now, an undercurrent you can’t ignore.
You’re holding a drink in one hand, the other resting on the edge of the pool as Wheezie chatters beside you about some drama from school. Sarah is off somewhere playing hostess, and the crowd is a mix of Kooks, tourists, and a handful of Pogues Sarah deemed “cool enough” to make the cut.
The air is warm and heavy with the scent of salt and chlorine, and you’re doing your best to pretend you’re not scanning the crowd for him.
You tell yourself you’re not hoping to see him.
But then, you do.
Rafe steps out onto the patio, a drink in hand, his posture relaxed but commanding as he surveys the party. He looks effortlessly at home here—like the house, the lights, the music all belong to him in some unspoken way.
When his eyes find you, it’s immediate, like he knew exactly where to look.
Your pulse quickens, and you glance away, trying to focus on Wheezie’s story. But even as she rambles on, you can feel Rafe’s gaze burning into you. It’s a mix of heat and challenge, daring you to acknowledge him.
And when you finally give in and glance back, he’s smirking.
He doesn’t approach right away. He never does. Instead, he takes his time, drifting through the crowd like he’s in no rush, talking to people here and there, all while his attention keeps circling back to you.
It’s maddening.
You take a sip of your drink, willing the flush in your cheeks to disappear, and try to focus on Wheezie’s latest complaint about her friends. But then Rafe’s voice cuts through the noise, low and unmistakable.
“Having fun?”
You look up to find him standing beside you, one hand casually tucked into his pocket, the other holding his drink. He’s close enough that the faint scent of his cologne reaches you—something warm and sharp and entirely too intoxicating.
“Trying to,” you reply, your voice steadier than you expected.
His smirk deepens, and his eyes flick to Wheezie, who’s already grinning at him. “Don’t let her bore you to death,” he says, nodding toward his sister.
“Hey!” Wheezie protests, shoving him lightly.
Rafe chuckles, the sound low and easy, but his attention is back on you in an instant. “Come find me later,” he says, his voice just loud enough for you to hear over the music.
And then he’s gone, disappearing back into the crowd, leaving you standing there with a racing heart and Wheezie’s teasing grin.
“Are you blushing?” Wheezie asks, her tone all too knowing.
“Absolutely not,” you say quickly, turning back to your drink.
But you are. And the worst part? You know Rafe knows it too.
There was a time when the idea of Rafe Cameron being anything but insufferable would have been laughable.
You remember those long, sticky summer evenings spent at the Cameron house, sitting at the kitchen island with Wheezie while her parents were out at one fundraiser or another. Babysitting wasn’t exactly glamorous, but it was better than working at the marina, and Wheezie was sweet enough to make it bearable.
Rafe, on the other hand, was a different story.
He had this knack for showing up just when you thought you’d have a quiet night. You’d be helping Wheezie with her math homework or making her one of those ridiculously specific sandwiches she liked, and then—bam. There he was, leaning against the doorway with that signature smirk plastered across his face.
“You’re doing it wrong,” he’d say, nodding at whatever you were doing, even if it was as simple as slicing bread.
“Doing what wrong?” you’d snap back, barely sparing him a glance.
“Existing,” he’d tease, stealing a chip off your plate and popping it into his mouth like he owned the place.
It was endless. He’d make fun of your clothes, your car, your playlist. Anything and everything was fair game, and he never missed an opportunity to remind you that you didn’t belong in their world. You were a Pogue, after all, even if your dad’s business had climbed its way into something respectable.
But there was one night—one moment—that always stood out, no matter how much you hated to admit it.
You were sitting at the island again, Wheezie at your side, her little hands clutching a glass of milk while you tried to get her to eat a handful of carrots. Rafe was there too, slouched in one of the barstools with his phone in hand, half-listening to whatever you were saying just to mock it later.
Everything was normal—until Wheezie came stumbling into the room, tears streaming down her face.
“What happened?” you asked immediately, rushing over to her.
“They—they were making fun of me,” she hiccuped, her words barely audible through her sobs.
“Who?” you pressed gently, crouching down to her level.
“Those boys…from down the street,” she managed, wiping her nose on the sleeve of her sweatshirt. “They said I was weird and that no one likes me.”
Your heart clenched, and you reached out to pull her into a hug, murmuring something soothing about how those boys didn’t know what they were talking about. But before you could say much else, Rafe stood up.
It wasn’t dramatic or loud. He didn’t say a word. He just… stood.
And then he was gone, the door slamming shut behind him as you sat there, stunned.
“What—where’s he going?” you asked, looking down at Wheezie, who just shrugged.
Fifteen minutes later, Rafe came back. His knuckles were scraped, his nose was bleeding, and there was a bruise already forming on his cheekbone.
You stared at him, wide-eyed. “What the hell happened to you?”
He grabbed a dishtowel off the counter, pressing it to his face as he shrugged. “It’s taken care of.”
“Rafe…” you started, but he just waved you off, heading for the stairs like nothing had happened.
Looking back on it now, it’s almost funny how you didn’t see it then. He didn’t make a show of it or stick around for the praise. He just… handled it. The same way he handled everything, quietly and with a bluntness that often left more questions than answers.
Rafe Cameron wasn’t always like this.
You can still remember the version of him from when you were younger: loud, impulsive, and seemingly incapable of taking anything seriously. He was the type of kid who would shoot spitballs in class just to watch people squirm, who cared more about his next thrill than the consequences that followed. There was a recklessness about him then, a streak of carelessness that made you write him off without hesitation.
But now, standing on the edge of Sarah’s party and watching him weave effortlessly through the crowd, you can’t help but notice how much has changed.
His hair, once a shaggy mess of blonde that fell into his eyes, is buzzed now, the sharp cut emphasizing the strong line of his jaw and the defined shape of his cheekbones. He’s leaner, but more solid too, his movements deliberate instead of erratic. Even the way he holds himself is different—confident but restrained, like he no longer feels the need to demand attention because he knows it’s already his.
It’s not just his appearance, though that’s hard to ignore. It’s the way he seems more grounded, more present. You’ve heard whispers about him stepping up to help his dad with the family business, even if people still question his motives. You’ve seen him around town, not in his usual haunts, but at the construction sites or walking out of Grady’s hardware store with blueprints under his arm.
He’s working. Actually working. And it’s not just for show.
The realization hit you that night, downtown, when he pulled you out of a situation that could’ve gone sideways fast. The way he handled it—calm, capable, and protective—was so at odds with the Rafe you thought you knew that it left you reeling. You’d always thought of him as a spoiled rich kid, someone who relied on his family name to coast through life without lifting a finger. But in that moment, when his steady presence shielded you from danger, you saw someone entirely different.
And now you can’t unsee it.
It’s driving you insane, honestly. Because no matter how mature he’s become, no matter how different he seems now, he’s still Rafe freaking Cameron. The boy who used to mock you for your Pogue roots, who once threw a party so wild that Wheezie had to call you to help clean up the next morning. The boy who, for years, seemed to exist solely to prove that Kooks always win.
And yet, here you are, catching yourself looking for him at every party, every gathering, even when you don’t want to admit it.
You hate it. Hate how your pulse races whenever his sharp blue eyes meet yours, how your mind replays the way his voice softened when he asked if you were okay that night. Hate how, even now, as you stand with Wheezie by the pool, your thoughts are consumed by the memory of him leaning closer in the kitchen just a few nights ago, his tone teasing but his eyes saying something else entirely.
It doesn’t help that Rafe seems to sense it. The shift in the air between you, the way you’ve started noticing him in ways you never did before. And the worst part? He seems to enjoy it.
He’s not obvious about it, not in the way he used to be when he was younger. No, this Rafe is far more subtle. He doesn’t shout or flaunt or draw attention to himself. Instead, he waits. Watches. Pushes just enough to leave you questioning everything but never enough to let you get comfortable.
It’s infuriating.
You take a long sip of your drink, hoping the buzz will drown out your spiraling thoughts. But even as you try to focus on Wheezie’s chatter and the hum of the party around you, your eyes keep drifting back toward him.
The worst part is, he doesn’t even have to try.
It’s like he’s rewritten the rules of who he is, and now you’re stuck trying to figure out where you fit in the story.
You shake the memory from your mind, blinking back into the present as the Cameron estate buzzes around you. The party has shifted into full swing now—music booming from portable speakers, a few brave souls splashing in the pool, and clusters of people laughing and drinking under the string lights that crisscross the patio. Wheezie’s long gone, swallowed up by her friends, and Sarah is playing hostess somewhere, leaving you alone with your thoughts.
Or rather, alone with the memory of Rafe, the boy who used to tease you mercilessly but once left the house with a determined glare and came back bloody for his sister’s sake.
The worst part? That moment, that side of him, wasn’t as much of an anomaly as you’d tried to convince yourself. Sure, he was arrogant and annoying and drove you up the wall, but when it came to the people he cared about, Rafe was all-in. He didn’t hesitate. He didn’t back down. And now, years later, you can’t stop replaying the way he showed up for you downtown, the same intensity in his eyes, the same protective edge to his voice.
It’s maddening, really.
You hate that you’re noticing these things about him. The sharp line of his jaw, the way his shirt fits just snug enough to hint at the strength beneath, the way he moves through the crowd like he knows exactly how to command attention without asking for it.
You catch sight of him again, standing near the bar and laughing at something one of his friends says. The golden glow of the string lights above him catches on the sharp cut of his jaw, the subtle curve of his smirk. He’s relaxed, leaning casually against the counter, completely at ease in his element.
You should look away. You should focus on something else, anyone else. But your gaze lingers, drawn to the effortless way he commands the space around him. It’s maddening.
And then, as if sensing your attention, Rafe’s eyes flick up and find yours across the yard.
The breath catches in your throat, and for a moment, you’re frozen, caught in the intensity of his gaze. He doesn’t smirk this time, doesn’t do anything but hold your stare, his expression unreadable. It feels like an eternity before he finally moves, pushing off the bar and heading in your direction with that same unhurried confidence that drives you crazy.
You glance around, your nerves buzzing. Part of you wants to walk away, to avoid whatever game he’s playing. But your feet stay rooted in place, and before you know it, Rafe is standing in front of you, close enough that you can catch the faint scent of his cologne—something warm and woodsy that makes your pulse race.
“Looking for someone?”
Speak of the devil.
You turn, already knowing what you’ll find, and there he is—Rafe Cameron, standing just a few feet away, hands tucked casually into his pockets. His smirk is firmly in place, but his eyes carry that same quiet intensity you’ve come to associate with him, the kind that makes your stomach flip in a way you’re not proud of.
“No,” you say quickly, too quickly, and his smirk deepens.
“Sure about that?” he asks, stepping closer.
You resist the urge to step back, holding your ground even as your pulse quickens. “Positive. Just enjoying the party.”
“Right,” he drawls, his voice low and amused. “Because you look like you’re having so much fun standing over here by yourself.”
You cross your arms, narrowing your eyes at him. “What do you want, Rafe?”
He doesn’t answer right away, just tilts his head slightly, studying you in that way that always feels too knowing. “You,” he says finally, his tone soft but laced with something that sends a shiver down your spine, “are way too easy to mess with.”
You roll your eyes, ignoring the heat rising in your cheeks. “Glad to know I’m such a source of entertainment for you.”
“Oh, you have no idea,” he replies, his grin widening.
He’s teasing, you know he is, but there’s something else beneath his words tonight, something that feels more real than the surface-level banter you’re used to.
“Seriously,” you say, trying to shift the conversation before your heart gives itself away. “Don’t you have a crowd to charm or something?”
“Maybe I’m right where I want to be,” he says, leaning just slightly into your space. His voice drops a fraction, soft enough that it feels like it’s meant just for you. “Ever think of that?”
Your breath catches, and for a moment, you can’t think of a single thing to say. He’s too close, his presence overwhelming, and all you can do is stare at him, your mind spinning with thoughts you shouldn’t be having.
You huff, turning to look out at the pool instead of his stupidly smug face. “What do you want, Rafe?”
He’s quiet for a moment, and you glance back at him, surprised to find his expression softer than you expected. “You looked like you needed saving,” he says lightly, nodding toward the now-empty lounge chair where you’d been sitting.
You roll your eyes. “I’m perfectly fine.”
“Are you?” He leans a little closer, just enough to make your heart skip. “Because you seem a little... tense.”
Your breath catches, and you hate the way your body reacts to him—like it’s tuned to his every word, every movement. “I’m not tense,” you manage, though your voice betrays you with its slight waver.
He grins, and it’s infuriatingly charming. “If you say so.”
The silence stretches between you, charged and crackling with something you can’t quite name. You expect him to keep teasing, to push just far enough to leave you flustered before walking away like he always does. But instead, his gaze softens, and for a moment, he just looks at you—really looks at you, like he’s trying to figure you out.
“You’re not like the rest of them,” he says finally, his voice quieter now.
The words catch you off guard, and your brows knit together in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean,” he says simply.
And maybe you do. Maybe that’s why your chest tightens at the sincerity in his tone, the way he’s looking at you like he’s seeing something even you don’t fully understand.
Before you can respond, one of his friends calls his name from across the yard, breaking the moment like a snapped string.
Rafe sighs, glancing over his shoulder before turning back to you. “Guess I’m needed elsewhere,” he says, his usual smirk returning as he steps back.
“Shocking,” you mutter, trying to ignore the weird ache in your chest as he starts to walk away.
But then he pauses, turning back to you with a grin that’s equal parts mischievous and genuine. “You ever need saving again, you know where to find me.”
And just like that, he’s gone, leaving you standing there, flushed and frustrated and entirely too aware of the fact that Rafe Cameron is under your skin.
The rest of the night passes in a haze of chatter and laughter, but you barely hear any of it. Your mind keeps circling back to Rafe, to the way he looked at you, the way his words lingered in the air like a challenge and a promise all at once. It’s maddening.
By the time the party winds down, you’re exhausted—not from the noise or the crowd, but from the mental gymnastics of trying to convince yourself that Rafe Cameron doesn’t affect you. It’s a losing battle, and you know it.
Wheezie insists on walking you to your car, her arm looped through yours as she chatters about some drama with her friends. You do your best to focus, nodding at all the right moments, but your thoughts are elsewhere.
When you finally get into your car and start the drive home, the silence feels heavier than usual. The streets are dark, the glow of the headlights bouncing off the familiar bends in the road. You roll down the window, hoping the cool night air will clear your head, but it doesn’t. If anything, it makes the memory of Rafe’s gaze feel even sharper, like a ghost you can’t shake.
You pull into your driveway and sit there for a moment, the engine ticking softly as it cools. Normally, you’d go straight inside and crash, but tonight, you linger, your fingers drumming against the steering wheel. The night feels unfinished, like there’s something left unresolved.
You shake the thought away, grabbing your bag and heading inside. The house is quiet, save for the faint hum of the fridge and the creak of the floorboards under your feet. You kick off your shoes, toss your bag onto the counter, and start the familiar routine of winding down.
But even as you wash your face and crawl into bed, you can’t stop thinking about him.
The next few days pass without incident, but the memory of Rafe sticks with you, weaving itself into the mundane moments of your routine. You see flashes of him in the strangest places—in the sharp line of a customer’s jaw at the boutique, in the golden sunlight filtering through the trees on your drive to work, in the steady confidence of someone walking down the street.
It’s ridiculous.
It’s Rafe.
And yet, no matter how hard you try to push it away, the memory of that night lingers. The way he stepped in without hesitation, the quiet assurance in his voice, the way he didn’t make a big deal of it afterward. It’s all so at odds with the version of him you’d built in your head, and it’s throwing you off balance in a way you can’t quite explain.
The next time you see him, it’s at the Cameron house again. Wheezie had texted you, begging you to come over for dinner, and you’d caved, mostly because you missed her and partly because you were curious.
You tell yourself it’s not about him.
But when you walk through the front door and spot Rafe leaning against the kitchen counter, his head tilted back in laughter, your pulse stutters.
“Hey!” Wheezie greets you, bounding over to give you a hug.
You hug her back, trying to focus on her and not the sharp blue eyes that flick over to you from across the room.
“Dinner’s almost ready,” Wheezie says, pulling you toward the dining room. “Come on!”
You follow her, keeping your head down, but you can feel Rafe’s gaze on you as you pass.
The meal is lively, filled with chatter and the occasional bickering between Sarah and Wheezie. Rafe is mostly quiet, chiming in here and there but keeping his attention on his plate. You try to ignore him, but every time he moves, every time his fork scrapes against his plate or his voice cuts through the conversation, your stomach twists.
After dinner, Wheezie and Sarah disappear upstairs, leaving you alone in the kitchen as you help clear the table. You’re stacking plates by the sink when you hear footsteps behind you.
“You always this helpful?”
The voice sends a shiver down your spine, and you don’t need to turn around to know who it is.
You glance over your shoulder, finding Rafe leaning against the counter, his arms crossed and that familiar smirk tugging at his lips.
“Just trying to earn my keep,” you say lightly, turning back to the sink.
He chuckles, the sound low and warm. “You don’t have to do that here, you know. You’re practically family.”
The comment catches you off guard, and you pause for a moment before setting the plates down. “Didn’t realize you thought of me that way.”
“Why wouldn’t I?” he says, his voice closer now.
You glance back again, finding him only a few steps away. His expression is softer than you expected, his smirk replaced by something more thoughtful.
“I don’t know,” you say, shrugging. “Guess I figured you’d still see me as the annoying Pogue babysitter.”
Rafe’s lips twitch, like he’s holding back a grin. “You were annoying,” he says, his tone teasing. “But you’re not a babysitter anymore.”
The air between you shifts, the playful edge to his words giving way to something heavier. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest, your nerves buzzing like live wires.
“I should—” you start, but your words falter as Rafe takes another step closer, his gaze locked on yours.
“You should what?” he asks, his voice low.
You don’t have an answer. Or maybe you do, but it’s lost somewhere in the haze of his closeness, the way his presence seems to fill the room.
For a moment, neither of you moves, the tension crackling like a live wire. And then, just as quickly as it started, Rafe steps back, his smirk returning as he grabs a glass from the counter.
“Don’t stay up too late,” he says, his tone light but his eyes lingering on you for just a second longer than necessary.
And then he’s gone, leaving you alone with your racing heart and the overwhelming realization that you’re in deep trouble.
That night, lying in bed, you stare up at the ceiling, your thoughts running wild. The familiar shadows stretch across your walls, the faint hum of the ceiling fan filling the quiet room. Normally, this is when your mind would wind down, drifting into blissful silence. But tonight, there’s no such luck.
Rafe Cameron is an enigma that refuses to leave your head.
You keep replaying the evening in your mind—his teasing smirk, the way he stepped closer like it was the most natural thing in the world, the way he looked at you with something you couldn’t name. It’s maddening.
And then, unbidden, another memory surfaces. One you haven’t thought about in years but suddenly feels impossible to ignore.
You were sixteen, still babysitting Wheezie regularly, and you’d just gotten a new pair of shoes. Nothing extravagant, just a pair of sneakers you’d saved up for with months of odd jobs. You were excited about them, maybe a little too excited, and you made the mistake of mentioning it when Rafe wandered into the kitchen where you were helping Wheezie with her art project.
“Nice kicks,” he said, his tone dripping with mockery as he leaned against the counter. “Did they give those away for free at the thrift store?”
You glared at him, bristling. “I bought them, actually.”
“With what? Spare change you found under the couch cushions?” he shot back, smirking as he reached over to steal a cookie from the tray you’d set out for Wheezie.
“Leave her alone, Rafe,” Wheezie piped up, frowning at her brother.
But Rafe didn’t listen. He kept going, poking fun at everything from the color of the shoes to the brand, all with that infuriating grin plastered on his face.
At the time, you’d been furious. You’d wanted to snap back, to tell him off, but you didn’t. Instead, you’d rolled your eyes, muttered something about how he didn’t know anything about fashion, and went back to helping Wheezie.
Now, though, lying in bed, the memory feels…different.
You remember the way his eyes lingered on your shoes, the way his teasing felt more pointed than usual, like he was testing you. You remember how, when you finally left the house that night, you caught him watching you from the window, his expression unreadable.
And then there was Ward.
Ward, who always seemed to have some sly remark about how much time you spent at the house, about how Rafe “just couldn’t leave you alone.”
You’d dismissed it at the time, laughed it off as some weird dad joke that didn’t land. The idea of Rafe Cameron—spoiled, obnoxious, impossible Rafe—having a crush on you was absurd.
But now?
Now, as you lie there, replaying every interaction in excruciating detail, the idea doesn’t feel so absurd anymore.
The way he teased you relentlessly, always finding a reason to be around when you were at the house. The way he’d watch you when he thought you weren’t paying attention. The way his smirk would falter sometimes, just for a second, like he was debating whether to say something more.
It all takes on a new light, and the realization sends a shiver down your spine.
Rafe Cameron had been in your orbit for years, a constant, infuriating presence that you’d never thought to question. But now, as the pieces start to fall into place, you can’t help but wonder if you’d been blind to something that was always there.
And maybe—just maybe—you were starting to see it now.
The realization lingers with you, threading itself into your days like an invisible tether you can’t shake. Every time you think you’ve managed to push Rafe Cameron out of your head, something brings him back. A passing thought, a fleeting memory, the sound of a voice that’s too close to his. It’s driving you mad.
It doesn’t help that the Cameron house has become a second home again. Sarah and Wheezie keep pulling you into their plans, which always seem to conveniently land you back at the sprawling estate. And Rafe? He’s there more than ever now—clean-cut, focused, and still as infuriating as ever.
You keep telling yourself it’s nothing. That whatever strange shift you’re feeling is in your head. But the tension between you is undeniable, crackling in the air every time you’re in the same room.
The Cameron living room was alive with laughter, the sounds of dice clattering against the wooden coffee table and Wheezie’s triumphant cheer filling the air. Game night had started with its usual chaos, everyone fighting over who got to pick the first game, but now the competition was in full swing.
“What are the odds,” you muttered under your breath, eyeing the tiny slip of paper in your hand with a mixture of resignation and disbelief.
Sarah leaned over your shoulder, peering at the name written there, and burst out laughing. “Oh, this is too good.”
You shot her a look, crumpling the paper in your fist. “What’s so funny?”
“Just… you and Rafe? On the same team? It’s poetic, really.” She wiggled her eyebrows before ducking out of reach as you swatted at her.
Rafe, of course, was leaning back against the kitchen counter like he didn’t have a care in the world, a bottle of beer dangling from his fingers. His eyes slid to yours as if he’d been waiting for this moment, his smirk just wide enough to make you want to throw something at him.
“Guess we’re stuck together, huh?” he said, his voice dripping with mock sympathy.
You forced a tight-lipped smile. “Looks like it.”
It wasn’t that you disliked Rafe—not anymore, at least. But being paired with him for family game night meant opening yourself up to endless teasing and that annoyingly competitive streak he’d never quite grown out of.
“Don’t worry,” he added, pushing off the counter and heading toward you. “I’ll carry us.”
“Oh, how generous of you,” you shot back, earning a quiet laugh from Wheezie, who was busy setting up the game board in the living room.
By the time everyone gathered around the coffee table, the mood had shifted to something lighter, easier. You found yourself sitting shoulder to shoulder with Rafe, his broad frame taking up far more space than was necessary.
“Alright, Cameron Dream Team,” Sarah said with a grin, motioning between you and Rafe. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”
The first few rounds went about as expected—Rafe being overly confident, you rolling your eyes, and the rest of the Camerons watching the two of you with varying degrees of amusement. But as the game wore on, you realized something strange: you and Rafe actually worked well together.
It wasn’t just that you were winning (although that certainly helped). It was the way he’d glance at you for confirmation before making a move, or the way your banter seemed to flow effortlessly, pulling laughter from the rest of the room.
“Unstoppable,” he declared after another win, leaning back with a satisfied grin.
You snorted. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
Rose, who had been quietly observing from her spot on the couch, chimed in then, her voice cutting through the lighthearted chaos. “You two make a good team,” she said, her tone casual but her gaze sharp. “In the game and… otherwise.”
The words hung in the air like an errant firework, startling and impossible to ignore.
You felt your face heat immediately, your fingers fumbling with the edge of your sleeve. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Rafe shift in his seat, his expression unreadable for a moment before a small, almost sheepish smile tugged at his lips.
“Maybe she’s right,” he said, his voice softer than usual.
Your stomach flipped. Whether it was the implication behind his words or the way his gaze lingered on you just a moment too long, you weren’t sure. All you knew was that the heat in your cheeks was impossible to shake.
The rest of the night passed in a haze of laughter and friendly competition. Rafe stayed closer than usual, his elbow brushing yours every so often as he leaned over the board or reached for the dice. You told yourself it was nothing—coincidence, proximity—but your heart betrayed you, skipping every time his eyes found yours.
By the time the last game wrapped up, the clock had crept past midnight, and everyone was beginning to drift. Sarah and Wheezie headed upstairs, Rose disappeared into the kitchen, and Ward had retreated to his office hours ago.
You stood by the front door, pulling on your jacket, when Rafe’s voice stopped you.
“Hold up. I’ll walk you out.”
You turned to find him shrugging into a hoodie, his hands already sliding into his pockets.
“You don’t have to,” you said, though you didn’t mean it.
He shrugged. “It’s late. Humor me.”
The cool night air hit you as the two of you stepped outside, the faint crash of waves in the distance punctuating the quiet. You walked side by side down the driveway, the gravel crunching under your feet.
“So,” he said, breaking the silence, “remember when Wheezie tried to convince us she’d trained that stray cat to do tricks?”
You laughed, the memory flooding back. “She was so serious about it too. I think she even made a schedule for ‘training sessions.’”
Rafe chuckled, shaking his head. “And then it scratched the hell out of me when I tried to pick it up.”
“Serves you right for thinking you could pet a feral cat.”
“It wasn’t that feral,” he said, grinning. “Just… misunderstood.”
The conversation flowed easily, memories and laughter spilling out like water from a cracked vase. It felt natural, effortless, like no time had passed since the days you spent chasing Wheezie through the halls of the Cameron estate.
When you finally reached your car, the laughter faded, replaced by a quiet that felt heavier than before. You turned to face him, leaning against the door as his gaze dropped to the ground, his usual confidence nowhere to be found.
“So, uh…” He rubbed the back of his neck, his voice uncharacteristically hesitant. “I was thinking…”
You tilted your head, waiting, your heart thudding in your chest.
“Would you wanna grab dinner sometime?” he blurted, his words tumbling out in a rush. “Like… just us?”
For a moment, you stared at him, thrown by the nervous energy radiating off him. This was Rafe Cameron—confident, sharp-tongued Rafe—and yet here he was, looking at you like a boy afraid of being turned down.
You couldn’t help it—a soft laugh escaped you, your hand flying up to cover your mouth.
“What?” he asked, frowning.
“Nothing,” you said, your smile widening. “You’re just… nervous. It’s kind of cute.”
He rolled his eyes, but the faint flush in his cheeks betrayed him. “Is that a yes or not?”
“It’s a yes,” you said, still smiling.
His relief was immediate and almost comical, his grin spreading wide enough to make your chest ache. “Good,” he said, nodding like he was trying to play it cool. “Good.”
As you slipped into your car, he leaned against the door, watching you with an expression you couldn’t quite place.
“Drive safe,” he said, his voice softer now.
“I will,” you replied, your heart still thrumming as you pulled away.
For the first time, the idea of Rafe Cameron didn’t feel impossible. It felt… right.
↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !
↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡
#rafe cameron x reader#outerbanks rafe#obx x reader#obx rafe cameron#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron imagine#rafe obx#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x kook!reader#obx season 4#obx 4#outerbanks#outer banks season 4#obx fanfiction#obx fic#outer banks cast#outer banks x reader#obx#outer banks fanfiction
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The Chosen One
Part 6
Writer's Note: A bit shorter, this one! Sending all the love, as per X
Word Count: 1.5k
Warnings: Mild Taunting/Teasing // Mild Fear // Mild kissing // Mild indications of sleeping together (nothing overly descriptive)
Use of She/Her/Lady - Female Pronouns
Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5
Aurelia woke from her sound slumber with a glimmer of light beaming through the heavy curtains that adorned her windows. She could hear a gentle snore, and when she looked over to her left, she saw a shirtless Geta lying next to her. She studied him carefully. His eyelashes lay curled against his soft cheeks. His nose, perfectly curved. Lips, plump and kissable as she only realised too quickly last evening. He was like a drug, the finest opium of the land wouldn’t be as addictive as he was.
The prior evening was everything she could have dreamt of and more. Geta was no longer so tyrannical, but loving and caring. He took his time with her, ensuring she benefitted from all actions and caressed her gently. She hoped this Geta was here to stay.
Geta stirred from his sleep, opening one eye to see Aurelia staring at him with intent. He smirked at her, “Good morning Wife, I trust you slept well?” Aurelia nodded, smiling, “Yes Husband, the best sleep in years.” Geta scoffed in response, getting up from her bed and walking toward her chair where his robe lay. Aurelia didn’t like to admit, but she did sneak a look at his great stature as he strutted over to the chair.
“I have to leave to attend to brother’s meeting. It’s to do with our games.” He strutted over to her bedside, crouching down to meet her face, taking it in his hands, whispering “Keep the bed warm for me…” he kisses her gently to which she blushes in response. Geta storms out with authority, while Aurelia forces herself to get up and prepare for her day.
***
The day was uneventful, and Aurelia made her way to the dining hall where she was met with Geta and Caracalla, as well as some of his cronies. She sat beside Geta who looked to her and held out his hand to take hers in his.
“Brother, don’t let it go to your head… seeing you so weak, holding hands, looking like a love-sick lion cub, it’s not a good look for an emperor.” Caracalla seethed.
Geta looked back to his brother, “Caracalla, maybe you should find yourself a wife. It may help you to think clearer…”
Caracalla laughed, “Ha, ha. Brother, how you amuse me with your fickle thoughts.”
The two engaged in an icy stare for some time before Caracalla began again, “Aurelia, I was just telling your betrothed of my plans for your games to celebrate your union.”
In a bid to try and win Caracalla over, Aurelia entertained him. “Oh Emperor, please do enlighten me – what excitement can we expect?”
“I have planned many festivities, naval battles, chariot racing, the lot. But I was just telling Geta – we want new blood. I have our troops out now gathering new men to fight. Oh it shall be wonderful, aren’t I great at crafting gifts for others?!”
Aurelia smiled back, fearful of the sick mind of her brother-in-law. She was far from naïve; she knew what this meant. Games meant death. Games meant bloodshed. Games meant innocent animals being slaughtered, maimed and injured all for the enjoyment of the crowds, and more so to fulfil some sick desire within Caracalla, and dare she even think, Geta.
She replied, “Yes Emperor, you are most kind.” Geta squeezed her hand in response to acknowledge her appreciation for his brother.
“I proposed the games begin tomorrow, the sooner the better. I shall meet you both on the royal balcony at midday. General Acacius and Lucilla will be in attendance, as well as a new friend of mine. I think you will both love him. Until then, I bid thee a good evening.” Caracalla rose from his seat, whistling at the two males, and three females who were littered around him to follow him.
Geta stood, “Come Empress, let us get you prepared for tomorrow’s festivities.”
***
Tomorrow arrived in the blink of an eye. Alba swarmed into Aurelia’s room, helping her pick out a baby blue dress for the first day of the games. “Empress, are you ready for the starting of your ceremony?”
“Yes Alba, I am not sure what to expect however.”
“My Lady, just sit and smile. It will appease both Emperor’s and crowd.”
Aurelia nods while Alba applies blush and eye liner. She steps back to admire her handy work, “Beautiful. Now my lady, let us get you down to the royal balcony.”
As they made their way down the hall and approached the royal balcony, they were stopped by a guard. “Where do you think you are going?” the guard barked. Aurelia was taken aback, “Sir, I am here to be seated with my husband.” The guard roared in laughter, “Pah! As if you would be married to anyone seated in here.” Aurelia had flash backs to how she once felt when she was first appointed into the palace. The commotion outside had perked the ears of those within the balcony. Geta stood to see his wife, looking beautiful as ever, crying outside the entry way.
He approached the steps, and shouted “What’s going on here?” The guard turned around and bowed, “Emperor, this imposter is trying to gain access to the balcony. I must banish her at once.” Geta took stride down the steps and approached the guard, “Does that make you feel big belittling my wife like that? Hmm?” The guard was completely taken aback, “Sire, I-I” “Yes, you opened that big ugly mouth of yours before you thought and took in her beauty. Look at her. She’s mine. My possession. She should be welcomed in here with open arms. Yet here you are, a low-life like you. You have belittled her in front of her subjects. Apologise. APOLOGISE TO AURELIA NOW.”
“Empress, forgive me, I did not realise it was you. I-”
“ENOUGH PEASANT. She will not give you forgiveness for you are not worthy. Now, I think there is a lovely spot for you out there in the theatre, don’t you brother?”
Geta turned and sure enough Caracalla was close at hand, “Oh yes brother! Nothing would please me more to issue him to join in the games – how fun!”
The guard was ushered by two others who brought him to the lower levels to meet his fate. Geta took Aurelia by the arm, “Are you okay, my love?” Aurelia looked to him with great adoration, despite him essentially signing a man’s life away, “Yes, Emperor.” With a smirk, he led her into the balcony, when she was stopped by Lucilla. She took her into her arms, an embrace which Aurelia greatly appreciated. She handed her a small bunch of lavender, “For the smell, my dear. It can send one astray – this keeps the senses pleasant for a while.” Aurelia thanked her greatly, she was a kind lady and one she liked to keep as a friend. She greeted Acacius with a curt bow, to which he took her hand and kissed it gently. Caracalla was next, to whom received the same greeting, he kissed her hand and took her into an embrace which shocked her, “Sister, I think you are going to love the Gladiator march – it’s the first thing to happen!” She giggled and thanked Caracalla for his efforts.
“Oh, please allow me to introduce you to Macrinus – he is a new friend. He produces only the best gladiators, all of which are featured here today.”
A tall, bearded man stood to take Aurelia’s hand in his, “Pleasure to meet you Macrinus.” He bowed and gently kissed her hand, “Pleasure is all mine, Empress.” She curtly nodded and made her way to Geta, who took her hand in his and approached the front of the balcony, waving to his subjects and showing off his new wife.
They made their way to the seats, when the Master of Ceremonies announced the Gladiator March. “Oh, this shall be fun!” Geta had a menacing look in his eye, and looked over to his brother where they shared a hand hold and a giggle to one another. Aurelia sighed, trying to keep up appearances and not look so concerned for the gladiator’s well-being. The march began, and droves of fighters took to the arena, each one marching around and forming almost snake-like formations. Marching. Marching. Marching. Until two particular gladiators caught her eye. She felt like she knew them from somewhere. She leaned forward in her seat and squinted her eyes in a bid for clearer eye-sight. She audibly let out a loud gasp and threw herself back in her seat. For she realised she did know the two.
It was her brothers.
Looking round to Geta, he was zoned in on the festivities, clueless to her outburst. Aurelia moved her eyes to Caracalla who grinned like a Cheshire cat, “Surprise!”
Part 7
#emperorgeta#emperor geta#joseph quinn#joseph quinn imagine#emperor geta imagine#emperor geta x reader#marcus acacius#lucius#gladiator 2#fanfic#emperor geta x female reader#gladiator ii#emperor caracalla#caracalla x reader#emperor geta fanfic#fanfiction#geta x reader#joe quinn
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Pope is literally his soulmate. His everything. And we barely got any JJPOPE in pt2. We've never gotten them back since s2. I said it to my friend when s3 dropped, that that was the death of JJPOPE. Not even as a ship, but as BEST FRIENDS!
S1 it was John B and Kie who were close, and JJ and Pope who were close. They were all friends, but they'd pair off into duos. They were the yin to each other's yang. The sunshine to the moon. I'm so upset that s4 became the JJ show (as much as I love him) because literally every other character just stood around waiting to step in to save JJ.
Sarah is fcking PREGNANT!!!! And barely gets any screen time or time to process. John B, THE MAIN CHARACTER BTW is sidelined and literally just stands there or yells at JJ when he does something stupid. Same with Kiara. She has almost nothing to do with the plot. She even gets the cliche of being knocked out/incapacitated.
Then Cleo is still barely known at all. Great she got the last family member she had. He was ripped violently away from her and almost lost her life. Then it's never addressed again until Pope takes the k!ller's life for her.
Now onto Pope. My biggest disappointment in terms of character development. He was going to college and he was this snarky nerd who knows better than everyone. Who is logical but is still very much ruled by his emotions when confronted with big conflicts. Then he pairs off with Cleo and nothing for him. His dreams are completely gone in place for searching for treasure the rest of his life.
I'd maybe be more accepting of this season if literally any of them had a purpose besides reacting to JJ, but that's not the case now, is it?
This show falls directly into the Netflix pattern.
BEAUTIFUL, COMPELLING, ONE OF A KIND FIRST SEASON.
Then BOOM the show explodes.
Then s2 comes and we're like "ok not as good as one but its still good."
S3 comes and it's like "oh yikes... big problems with this one. But not unbearable. Has its high points."
Then s4. Nail in the coffin in terms of its CHARACTERS.
The whole reason people watch OBX is for the found family. Knowing that no matter what the pogues will find a way out and support each other.
Where was that? Where was that at all this season?
They think they can just shoehorn some bonding montages into part 1 and that'll fulfill that same need.
No. It needs to be woven throughout.
It just becomes the JJ show and I'll give props where it's due. The plot of this season is pretty strong.
As long as you don't think too much about character development, relationships or just how many shooting/chase scenes there are.
Or how the characters don't even seem to care about each other outside of their romantic relationships.
Or how the female characters are all cardboard cutout plot devices!!!! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Sorry not sorry. I'm over it. Probably won't tune in for s5.
JJ's death sends the message that no matter how hard you try, your circumstances are your circumstances. And, it gets worse. So might as well just accept it and gamble your life away until you inevitably d!e young.
But yay!!! Gold!!!! Gold, gold gold. That's the point, right?? Right?????
fuck jiara, i miss jjpope so bad to the point where im gonna start sobbing
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alec mcdowell & transgenic!user - a million kisses ㅤ ┊ ㅤ (18+!)
i want someone to promise me a million kisses and more . . . or, he's your first everything; first, and second, and fifth, and tenth.
includes, MDNI. ㅤ explicit sexual content ㅤ (light ) breeding kink ㅤ unprotected p in v ㅤ first times! ㅤ fluffy smut ㅤ like genuinely sickly sweet ㅤ soft dom!alec ㅤ best friend!reader ㅤ dirty talk ㅤ talks you through it creampie (hate this word sm sorrY)
req by @foxylady493 hehe thank u for giving me an excuse to write ab rawdoggin alec mcdowell HAHA
word count: 6.2k and for what like genuinely.
★ ˚⋆
somewhere, in one of the books that joshua had stolen for you, with a well worn cover and soft pages, with faded ink painting the front cardstock, you'd read something that stuck with you. i want someone to promise me a million kisses.
it was one of those passing thoughts that embeds itself into your psyche, a physical thing lodged between the folds of your brain, making itself evident every time you tried to forget it. a million kisses... and you'd never had one.
hell, you'd never even wanted to. you were everything manticore wanted you to be; loyal to the greatest extent, dedicated to your training, dominating the rest of the x5 series by a long shot — well, alongside your best friend alec.
alec, who really kept you motivated and on your toes, because he was so effortlessly good. he could sprint the entire forest on the grounds' base three times while you'd be on your second. he could pick you up with ease, and often did, urging you to work on your strength that little bit more so that you could do the same to him.
he was lifting you with one arm, actually, when you'd both been called back to your cells abruptly. it was awkward, in a way, moreso than it would have been for any normal human being, because of how unfamiliar you were with awkward situations. having to be sat down so you could properly address the guard in front of you, the same one who'd just been watching the both of you try and lift each other like barbells?
it only managed to get worse, somehow, when you were both ushered into your cell, followed by one of the directors, a woman with short blonde hair and a fierce stare.
something about this felt like a punishment, or a bad omen. how could you know, then, what a turning point this was going to be for you? the both of you?
"stand down, 494, 490." her lips are quirked with knowledge she isn't sharing, her hands folded neatly behind her back. "no need for formalities. not... for this."
you know better than to say a word out of turn, and so does alec, but you feel his confusion radiating off of him, a mirror image of your own, in the way his shoulders tense back.
her lips curl higher, a tight lipped smile that looks almost sinister in the dull lighting of your cell. "you are both aware of the situation with our labs, i imagine," she continues, slowly, like she's waiting for one of you to piece it together. "all of our genetic data, up in flames, and no way to continue creating soldiers to uphold the legacy the two of you are sure to bring."
directors do not ever come in with compliments, especially so strong, without something up their sleeves. "unless..."
it's one word, but it hits you and alec like a wave. him first, as he draws in a sharp breath, and then you, your stoic expression faltering at once. unless they use their current x5s to make those soldiers.
"it's only natural to pair you two off, what with how... close, you've gotten, over these years." there was a shared trauma that rooted the two of you to each other. him, being a clone of x5-493, and you, of 491.
something was off in their coding, a mixture of genetics and dna that didn't mesh. people were tightlipped about 493 and the seemingly endless amount of death he left in his wake, but they were sure to remind you about 491, the only one who, seemingly, kept his head screwed on straight the rare times that it was.
i want someone to promise me a million kisses... did she feel the same way? did he manage a million before his life was taken? you couldn't help but wonder it, especially with how many times the words killer kisser were thrown in your face. maybe that was why you were so attached to the idea of being kissed. you were stuck on the outside of a secret, wondering how kisses could render a troubled man's mind silent for a little while.
you had zoned out without realizing, stuck in a past that didn't belong to you. "are we clear?" the woman asks, her eyes lingering particularly long on you.
your face flushes with shame. shame for not listening, for missing the entire purpose of this conversation because you'd been daydreaming about an obscene amount of kisses for one person to receive.
alec speaks up for you, saving you from a potential reprimand or punishment, as he often did. "all clear."
"good." her eyes stay on yours for a beat too long, like she's daring you to break, before she nods once. "you've got one hour."
and with that, she stalks out of the room, the guards waiting on either side of your open door stepping out of line to trail behind her. the door hisses shut, and then it's just you and alec. you should know why. if you'd listened—
"you could have been less obvious, you know," alec says with a scoff of laughter, as he breaks his straight-backed stance and crosses to your bed in the corner. he sinks down on it, strong enough that his weight bounces on the springy mattress, legs spread open as he made himself right at home.
you blink once, twice. "less obvious with what?"
"oh, i don't know," his lips twist in mock thought, before they tilt into a dazzling smile, "starin' off like you don't even know where you are."
"i was just—"
"not listening. yeah, established, nelly." alec's eyebrows raise in his amusement, strong arms folded nearly over his chest. "you're gonna be confused as hell when i start taking my clothes off, then."
you splutter, wordless sounds falling out in a flustered heap. "what?"
his head falls back in a fit of laughter, loud enough that it echoes off of the walls. "god, you really weren't listening!"
"just spit it out! what are you talking about?"
slowly, the smile tapers away, his laughter trails off, and you're just looking at each other. "gonna have to copulate, you and i."
your expression drops. any trace of amusement dissipates, a cold, icy feeling of dread flooding your veins. no. no. you couldn't. not with him. not when it would ruin—
a million kisses, a million kisses, a million kisses.
it always came back to that, didn't it? "no," you say aloud firmly, like your rejection can somehow reverse the fact that it has to happen. has to, because you would never betray a direct order. this was something being entrusted to you. "alec..."
"relax," he says, his hands up in surrender. "i'm not gonna just... force you to, nelly, c'mon." his hands fall into his lap again, a sigh leaving his mouth. "s'not easy for me either, this. i mean, you're my best friend."
was he suggesting that things would change once this started? that thought made your blood feel cold in your veins, ice crystallizing in the sinew, making your bones feel heavy and stiff.
"nelly." alec snaps his fingers, drawing your attention back to him and not the dread in your stomach. it always works, when he calls you the name he'd not-so-affectionately given you during training, once. negative nelly & smart alec. "c'mon, it's not— it's not gonna be that bad. kinda bruisin' my ego that you're this torn up about it."
you choke on a laugh, your fingers lifting to run through your hair. "shut up, alec."
"'shut up, alec,'" he mimics back at you, one corner of his mouth lifting higher in a softer grin. "has that ever worked, nell?"
you shake your head, in exasperation and answer, finally crossing the small expanse of the room to drop down onto the edge of your bed next to him. his thigh is pressed up against yours, a warm, familiar comfort when everything feels uncertain.
it's loaded now, this silence that falls between you. heavy like a weight and thick like fog. his eyes are on you —you can feel them, too— and it's jarring, how one direct order can flip an entire world on its axis.
you turn to meet those green eyes of his, and then alec's leaning in, suddenly, and it takes a blink for you to realize it. you startle, feeling hot and icy and flustered all at once. "i’ve never done this,” you blurt out, and how fucking embarrassing is that, confessing it like a sin?
“in what world do you think i have?” alec shoots back, his eyebrows raising in punctuation to the question. “i’d rather it be with you than someone else.”
your heart is racing uncomfortably quick, an unfamiliar flutter against your ribcage. “okay.”
“yeah?” he asks, and his large hand lifts, too, to rest his warm palm on the side of your cheek. his fingertips graze behind your ear, tangling in your soft hair. “yeah, okay, nelly.”
his thumb grazes gently over your cheekbone, like a final reassurance before you’re no longer dipping your toes into this idea but diving fully into its depths. his fingers on the back of your neck guide you toward him, until your breaths are mingling and getting to know each other.
your lips meet. the world stops.
it makes sense, now, how 491 could leash 493 with nothing but the press of her lips. it also makes sense why she stayed, despite all of the warning signs he must have given off, if alec’s lips were any indicator of how ben’s were.
the kiss is tentative at best, at first. he’s not coming any closer, and you’re sat ramrod straight on the bouncy mattress, and the only thing connecting you besides your mouths is the hand he keeps on your cheek. you imagine that this is how first kisses always feel; awkward and uncertain, as this new kind of trust builds itself from the ground up.
one kiss out of a million. how were you supposed to kiss anyone else, now, when this one felt so special?
he pulls back first, but his hand stays on your face, the other sneaking its way across the space between you and landing on yours in lap.
“not so bad, was it?” alec asks, a reassuring smile gracing his face. his thumb returns the gentle strokes over your cheek, his eyes sweeping over the expression you wear.
no, it wasn’t that bad. but your mind isn’t on the kiss but what’s supposed to come next. “how long are we supposed to… um…”
you’d never been the shy type around alec, but suddenly now, it feels like every word is lodged tightly in your throat. suddenly, he feels like a stranger instead of your best friend, this territory unfamiliar and scary, in its own way.
“until you’re pregnant,” he says easily — and of course it’s easy for him, he’s not the one that has to carry a genetically enhanced baby to term. “but—”
“no,” you say, raising a hand to cut him off. “no, i heard you.”
“but, we don’t have to start now, nelly,” he slows his words down, like delivering the blow more gently will somehow lessen the sting. “we don’t. it’s… it’s an order, yes, but you’re still my best friend, and i want you comfortable.”
that did reassure you. you’d have to commit to the orders given eventually, but for now? this was just… a prolonged break in the courtyard, where you could hang out without precaution.
“kinda like this new development, though,” he adds, that wicked grin of his tugging up onto his mouth, as he wraps his arms around your waist and lifts you up. you barely manage to squeak out the noise of surprise caught in your throat, before you’re settled in his lap. alec’s always been strong, but it’s so different, having him use that strength with you. “could get used to it.”
“shut up,” you grumble half-heartedly.
he grasps the collar of his shirt to drag you in. “order received.” and his mouth closes around yours once again; your second kiss of a million.
★ ˚⋆
“stop it, that’s not—” you huff out a hard, frustrated breath, your fingers closing around alec’s wrist. “that’s not what where your hands are supposed to go.”
alec had you sat comfortably in his lap again, after the day prior, you both learned that, despite the circumstances, it was a nice place to be. you were close enough that you could smack him if you had to, and clearly, you did.
“s’not my fault that you’re being a tease,” he grumbles in your ear, his lips so close to the sensitive skin that shivers trail down your spine. “sittin’ all pretty in my lap, not letting me follow orders.”
“oh, bite me,” you shoot back at him, your grip on alec’s wrist tightening as you yank it away from your ass. you can feel the heat of his skin even through the thick fabric of your camo cargos, and it’s completely distracting.
his free hand’s finger comes up to jab you firmly in the sternum. “you won’t let me.”
“i thought this was hard for you, too,” you argue, reaching up to grab his other hand now, the former still tightly in between your fingers. you knew the second you let it go, he’d not-so-subtly slide it right back down to your ass all over again, and where would you be? a rock — you — a hard place.
alec snatches his hand back quickly before you can grab that one, his eyebrows bouncing once in his amusement. “trust me, nelly, it’s very hard.”
you stare at him, unblinking for a long few seconds, before it clicks in your mind — and the feel of what was very hard presses against the core of you. your hand releases his, and you smack him once with the left, twice with the right. “alec!”
alec cackles, head falling back with his laughter. his hand, always so much quicker than you, catches one wrist, and then the other, in his lithe fingers. his other arm snakes around your waist and there’s a blink before you’re suddenly flipped on your back.
on your back, and he’s hovered above you, your pinned wrist firmly above your head and pressed lightly into the mattress. “you’re getting soft on me,” he pants, settled in between your legs, knees nudging them further apart. “you used to beat my ass when we’d spar.”
“you’re playing dirty.”
“am not,” he huffs out like a petulant child, “you’re just not playing. too worried up in that head about all of the logistics here.”
“aren’t you?” you ask him, and it’s genuine; how had 24 hours passed, and suddenly this was something he could just accept? you and him, engaging in things that best friends didn’t do. did they? “aren’t you afraid of…” your face reddens, your turn now to feel like a little kid. “doing it?”
alec’s shoulders lift. “not when it’s with you.”
he says it so genuinely that you know it’s true, the confidence of the words enough to take your breath away.
you’d never thought of it like that. sure, it’s intimidating, breaching this gap of things you’d done and things you hadn’t, but… with him, surely it couldn’t be anywhere near as bad as you were thinking.
“plus,” he adds as an afterthought, “we already agreed it wasn’t going to change a thing, didn’t we? s’just work.”
just work. it didn’t feel like just work, but you were always reading too much into things, anyways. that’s why you and alec just worked. he was the laidback to your on edge.
you sigh. he’s getting to you. he’s unnaturally good at reading all of your fears written in your eyes and unpacking each of them, explaining them to you so they weren’t so scary anymore. “just tell me what to do. we can lie to the directors again, if we have to, if you just wanna… i dunno, chill out. could kiss again.”
“alec.”
“suggestion!” he raises his free hand in defense, before he lets it drop down to your thigh. “just a suggestion.”
it was a good suggestion, too. unfortunately for you, fortunately for him. you didn’t want to get too comfortable in these uncharted territories, out of fear it’d all get muddled and then where would you be? too uncomfortable to be friends, too familiar not to be.
“kiss me.” your mouth moves before you’ve even realized the words are out, floating between the two of you like a declaration.
he moves his hand from your wrists and lets it fall in the open expanse of your neck. his fingers are cold this time, even though your blood is hot. “yeah?” it feels achingly familiar to the gentle way he’d said it the day prior. “alright.”
“alright.”
is it supposed to be this awkward? firsts were always awkward. this had to be normal. if you started to think about how maybe it wasn’t normal, and you were embarrassing yourself, and he was embarrassing himself, and everything was about to be ruined, you’d—
alec leans in again, but he doesn’t kiss you on the lips, like you expected. instead, his mouth finds your jaw, teeth grazing the skin lightly, lips pressing reverently on the bone as he sucks the little mouthful of skin between them.
you gasp, your eyes fluttering closed, eyelashes as soft as butterfly wings on your cheekbone. “relax,” he breathes, hot breath on hot skin making you squirm beneath him, “i know what i’m doin’.”
“oh, do you?” you smile, a bit dazed as his tongue traces along the line of your jaw until he reaches the space beneath your ear.
“mhm.” he leaves a trail of wet, warm kisses down the side of your neck, then back up your throat. “thought about this all night. know what i’m doin’.”
oh. no wonder he’d been pretty accepting of their circumstances. alec spent all of night prior thinking about you, and how he’d pick you apart.
the thought makes another shiver run down your spine, a warm pool in your lower stomach. “alec—”
“here,” he interrupts, halting your train of thought before it delves again. “put your hand here,” he pants softly into your sensitive skin, his fingers finding yours and guiding them underneath the gray fabric of his shirt. you feel every muscle on his abdomen, feel each flex beneath the cold touch of your fingers. “yeah, that’s it.”
alec straightens up a little so that he can curl his own hands beneath his shirt, tugging it up and over his head. it falls in a heap at his feet, and he’s on you again a second later, his lips marking a wet trail of kisses up your throat. once he reaches your chin, he continues the onslaught, capturing your lips in a firm kiss.
this one is different than the one the night prior. it’s more confident, sure of himself. his tongue swipes at your bottom lip, and in your surprised gasp, he tucks it between your lips. that part of the kiss is tentative, like enacting the things he’d thought about was more nerve wracking than he’d let on.
you smile. he drags his teeth across your puffed bottom lip. “oh, you like that?” he asks against the soft skin of your mouth, arrogance coating every one of his words. “mm, okay.”
his hands run down your sides, hooking beneath your shirt and bunching it up in his fists. “this okay?” he asks, lifting his head enough to search your eyes.
you nod, taken aback, almost, by the flood of black overtaking his irises. “it’s okay.”
his grin is mesmerizing. had he always been so attractive? had he always looked like something sculpted and molded, just for you, and you’d only just noticed? “okay,” he echoes, and he nudges your extended arm with his elbow, “lift your arms for me.”
neither of you really know what you’re doing, but he has a little bit of an upperhand, what with the fantasies he’d created in his head.
“what all did you think about?” you ask him, tracing your eyes over his face to keep from thinking about how he was undressing you, and you were slowly being beared to him fully.
alec’s eyebrows twitch, his eyes lifting from your bare skin up to yours again. “last night?”
“yeah. i wanna know.”
he shakes his head. “no, nelly,” he laughs under his breath, his heavy-lidded eyes raking over your body again. “m’not lettin’ you know. you’re shakin’ in your boots already.”
“well, then what did you do? just lay in bed, thinkin’ about me?” you shoot back, your mouth dropping into a pout at the denial.
alec’s lips quirk. “something like that.”
“alec—” you’re cut off by his lips pressing to yours again. his fingers run reverently down your chest, his touch shuddery as they graze over your breasts. he groans, and the air in your lungs stutters hard in your chest. every thought is shattering to pieces before you can think them, focused instead on the feel of his hands on you in places that you didn’t think anyone would ever touch.
“i know you’re scared,” he mumbles in your mouth, his hand drifting lower, slowly but steadier than before. “so i want you in control. in case—” his touch comes to a stop at the buttons on your camo cargos. alec pauses like he’s dazed, clearing his throat. “in case you want to stop. at any point.”
he’s such an arrogant dickhead most of the time, one that you’ve come to adore in every possible way, but here? now? he’s the sweetest person you’ve ever met.
“here, lift your hips for me,” his nimble fingers have already undone the button, before you’d even blinked, “good girl — see? m’so proud of you, baby.”
baby. he’d never called you baby before. your smile is immediate, even as you feel like you’re being electrocuted with how your skin is buzzing. his knuckles light a fire down you as they brush lightly against your thighs, your calves.
your hand lifts to rest under his chin, tilting his head up to look at you again. how many kisses is this now? you can’t even think, now, not as you drag him in for another kiss. five? six? not enough, is the simple answer.
alec entertains the kiss for a few seconds before he’s pulling back, even taking a step away. your body chills at the loss of his heat, and the self awareness of how you must look to him. mostly naked, sprawled backwards on your bed, looking up at him with big, wide eyes. you open your mouth to say something snarky to him, anything to quell the heavy silence, when he whispers, “you’re so damn beautiful, nelly.”
he undoes the buttons on his pants quickly, shoving them down his muscular thighs and pooling at his ankles. it’s intimidating, staring into the eyes of someone who was your best friend through and through, while neither of you are wearing anything besides undergarments.
this was the guy who’d talked you out of making any rash decisions after you’d had the insult of killer kisser thrown in your face, all because of the girl your dna was cloned from. who squeezed your hands and told you to fuckin’ ignore them. what do they know? who’d been a cell apart from you in your psyops isolation, making sure he wasn’t infected with whatever rotted ben’s mind into darkness, and you weren’t susceptible to falling into hi
alec steps around you to sink onto the mattress beside you, shifting backwards until his back hits the concrete wall, turning so that he’s facing straight forward. his hands pat his thighs, nodding his head in gesture — or maybe to get you to stop ogling him like he was someone new and not your alec.
“lookin’ at me like you don’t know me,” he mumbles, reaching out to snatch your elbow when you don’t move. it’s intimidating. sitting in his lap with so little separating the two of you? of course you were hesitating! “don’t be ridiculous. m’still the guy you pushed down the stairs five years ago.”
“that,” you exhale shakily, as you sit down on his thighs, desperately trying to ignore the heat beneath you, and the heat between your legs, “was an accident.”
“bull.” he moves his hands to the clasps of your bra, undoing each hook individually, keeping his eyes locked on yours. “i saw how you looked at me before you did it.”
you bristle, shoving him back by the shoulder until his back presses against the cool concrete. “like i’m looking at you now?”
slowly, he tugs the straps of your bra down your arms, his grin faltering as his eyes drift downward at the same time. “yeah.” he clears his throat. clears it again. “yeah, like you’re lookin’ at me now.”
your eyes follow his, and you suck in a slow, deep breath. somehow, the fucker had talked his way into taking your bra off without you even noticing. kept you distracted long enough to not fuss over it.
how many kisses out of a million could one man give? you hoped all of them. you hoped more than a million.
the silence is heavy but it’s less awkward now. most of the hard parts were over, and you’d already established there was no reason to be nervous, not with alec. never with alec.
“here,” he says, his voice still coming out rasped even through his attempts otherwise to quell it. “hips up again f’me… yeah, just like that.” alec’s fingers hook into the waistband of your panties, pulling them down until they’re caught where you’re straddling him. “left leg up… perfect, baby, right one… perfect, baby. absolutely perfect.”
the praise makes you feel hot. sure, he’d said things like this before, praising each of your actions when you’d done good at training, or came back from a mission successful. this is different. intimate.
"keep 'em up real quick, alright?" he murmurs, shifting beneath you enough to lift his own hips up, hands pulling down his boxers over his thighs. his hand slips, giving way to the nervousness he had buried deep, as it slaps against your bare thigh. "my bad," he chuckles lowly, kicking them off with the foot closest to the bed's edge. his fingers curl around your leg, kneading at the soft flesh. "you've got me all messed up in my head."
"enough to hit me?" you tease, your smile returning again to your lips. "that's cruel, alec. you said you weren't playing dirty."
"m'not," alec insists, his thumb catching your chin and dragging you down into a kiss, and then another.
you laugh on his lips, trying to shake free from his grip. "are too."
he sits up, chasing your mouth when you start to pull away, swallowing your lips in an onslaught of kisses. "i can show you 'playing dirty'." his hands slide down your sides, fingers brushing your ass as they firmly grasp your thighs, flipping the both of you so that your back is against the mattress.
you're strong enough to flip him back. to tackle him onto the mattress, to wrestle like you used to do when you were younger, and things were easier. you don't.
alec settles between your legs, using his hold on your thighs to lift your hips and align your entrance with the cock you have not looked at, nope, it feels too real to—
your eyes fall anyways when his do, watching him line himself up. all of his nervousness is gone again, like he teeters between it, only ever seeming to get nervous when it comes to addressing you. what you are. what this means.
“still okay?” at your nod, he nods too. “okay, sweet girl. let me just—” his hand comes between the both of you, grasping his cock between his fingers, as he pushes the thick head of it inside of you, his head falling back as your wetness coats it. “jeeeesus.”
“what?” you ask breathlessly, shifting to rest on your palms, glancing from his face to where he’s pulling out of you.
alec shakes his head, a grin spreading across his face. “nothing. nothing at all.” he pushes in again, slowly, deliberately, this time keeping his cock inside of your tight walls. “just thinking about you. always thinking about you.” his free hand goes to your shoulder, pushing you lightly back on the bed. “you just lay back and relax, alright? get out of that head.”
how were you supposed to get out of your head when now, the thing circling around in it is how he so casually declared that he was always—
it’s uncomfortable, as he fills you up. like something is wrong, doesn’t belong. you were definitely wet enough to take him, but it doesn’t stop the feeling of something being off that tingles up your spine.
“fuck, you’re so damn tight,” he groans, his voice as rough as gravel. alec rubs soothing circles into your skin with his thumb, before he lets his hand fall down to one of yours, grasping it in his. “squeeze if you wanna stop.”
even through the discomfort, you didn’t want to stop. not only had the gap already been bridged, but… you liked it. liked him. more than you ever would have realized on your own. the further he pushes into you, still in that achingly slow pace as he lets your pussy adjust to the feel of him inside of it, the easier that adjustment gets.
your fingers play with his, tracing over his knuckles, as your breaths tumble out in soft little pants. everything feels like its at a boiling point, like it’s seconds from spilling over.
“you asked why i wasn’t scared,” he says under his breath suddenly, eyes lifting to meet yours through the deep dark of his eyelashes, once he’s to the hilt deep inside of you, his pelvis pressed to yours in a sharing of blistering hot skin. “do you want to know why?”
he finishes the sentence, and slowly pulls back until his cock rests halfway inside of your throbbing pussy. the movement makes you whimper in your throat, the sound of it rough already. his fingers clamp around yours in reassurance. “i’ve thought about this a lot. that’s why.”
“liar,” you manage to rasp, a breathless moan of laughter punctuating the words, “y’don’t have to make me feel better anymore. i’m not scared.”
“i always,” alec thrusts into you again, quicker this time, already pulling back out, keeping that slow, leisurely pace until he’s absolutely certain you’re alright with the next part of it all, “always want to make you feel better.”
another thrust in, and something shifts this time. you can feel every inch, and suddenly, a tremor of ecstasy replaces the full discomfort. you gasp, and he surges forward to hover over you properly now, like that one little noise was enough reassurance for him.
“always want to take care of you, always want to make sure you’re happy,” alec continues, soft grunts slipping between his ramblings, “hell, i’ve thought about putting a baby in you before. just not… in this setting.”
the words shoot straight downwards, making your already aching pussy throb, clenching tightly around him. “i’m not gonna break, alec,” you say, forehead pressed to his. you dig your nails into the back of his hand, not squeezing it so he doesn’t stop, but urging him further. “stop acting like you’re gonna snap me in half. i’ve pushed you down the stairs before.”
alec laughs, but it works. he pulls out further with each thrust, slams into you harder, burying himself deeply inside of your wet pussy. “yeah, you have.” the sound of skin slapping together starts to echo around the room with the change in his pace, interrupted only by his throaty groans and your soft moans and, god, isn’t it awkward that there are guards outside? that this is what they’re subjected to hear every day, until you’re—
“you wanted— a baby with me,” you say, not as a question, and through the deep haze your mind is slipping into.
“wanted to do this. wanted to fuck a baby into you. see you full of me,” he answers, and it must get him going, the image he paints for the both of you, because he speeds up further, drives deeper, and you can feel the head of his cock pushing against your cervix, making you groan aloud into his skin. “only at night, when it was just me, and i wished you were there, keeping me company. any time else, i could pretend like it was fine.”
you laugh softly, shaking your head, and then he’s laughing too. “fucked up, schoolboy-manticore crush, huh?” his head falls further into the crook of your neck, pressing gentle kisses to your collarbone. “only this place could get me daydreaming about filling this pussy up with my cum. could get me - wanting to fuck up our whole friendship, just to hear those pretty sounds of yours.”
your face flushes at the filthy words, even as it only stirs your arousal further along. you can feel it in the base of your spine, and suddenly, by their own volition, your hips are pressing against his in tandem, meeting each of his thrusts inside of you. he groans, the sound hot and vibrating on the sensitive skin of your neck.
“look at me, will ya, pretty thing?” he asks, nose nudging your chin up to meet his eyes. blackened pupils swallow up the jade green of his eyes. your lips part as the pleasure builds and builds, each of your noises crescendoing in pace with alec’s relentless thrusts. “god, nelly—”
you tip your head up a little more, enough to catch his mouth in a warm kiss. “it’s okay,” you say against the soft pink of his lips; your turn to comfort him, even if that’s the last thing he probably needs.
“yeah,” he mumbles on your mouth, stealing a fervent amount of quick kisses. it might as well be a million right then, with the way you can’t clear your head enough to count.”s’all okay. more than okay. always okay with you.”
“you don’t even know—” you choke out, interrupted by the desperate moans falling from your lips, free hand coming to hold onto his side and keep him deep, deep, deep. “don’t even know what you’re saying,” you manage to laugh.
“no,” alec laughs too, letting go of your hand and moving it and his other one to hold onto your thighs again. “no i don’t. lift this one up for me, yeah?”
you uncurl your bent knee and rest it across the length of his body, and the new angle only makes it that much more intense. “m’not gonna last much longer.”
alec is a nervous laugher. he can’t seem to stop while he thrusts into you. your defense mechanism is panic, his is undiluted joy. you hope it never changes about him. “thank fuck.” he turns his head to press a soft kiss to your ankle. “‘ve been hanging on by a fuckin’ thread.”
“seriously?” you cackle. “alec.”
it’s sweet, really, how even when your entire dynamic flipped on its head, neither of you changed. just like you’d promised. you’re still laughing in the heat of the moment together, still teasing each other in every possible way you could. “told you ‘ve been thinkin’ about this,” he grumbles in his defense, the little pout on his flushed face only pulling you closer and closer into your release’s tight grips, “can’t even blame m—”
“oh, fuck—” you can’t blame him, because you never gave him the time to pitch his argument fully, cutting him off. each breath you draw in is strained, in time with the pounding he’s giving to your clenching pussy. “oh, fuck, alec—”
“hey, language, pretty thing, there’s—” one last thrust, harder than the others, his hips stuttering their movements as he pushes out a shaky exhale into your shoulder. your head falls back into the mattress, dug into the springs as you buck into him, his cock against your cervix as he spills his cum inside of you. the feel of him twitching inside of you, of the warmth seeping from your fluttering walls and warm down your spread legs, reducing you to a muddled mess of pleasure in his arms. unintelligible words on your tongue, pleads or his name or something, you don’t even know, don’t even know what you were trying to say.
alec brushes his fingers across your forehead, pushing the sweaty hairs off of your skin. “was gonna tell you to watch your mouth, but i’m pretty sure you just swore me up and down in three different languages at once.”
your limbs feel boneless, but you do manage to swat at his bare chest, heated skin on heated skin. “shut up.”
“nah.” he scoops you into his arms, not yet having pulled out of you, as he cradles you to his chest. “we’re just gettin’ started, aren’t we?”
the answer is that one man can give a million kisses, and it doesn't take a lifetime — just a director's order and a dream.
tags, @jasvtsc @deanswidow @ostaramoon @angelblqde @depressionbarbie2023
@poughkeepsie99 @chi-raz @beausling @artyandink @figthoughts
#──★ ˙🍓 dahlia’s jrnl#divider by adornedwithlight#dark angel#alec mcdowell#jensen ackles#jensen fucking ackles#jensen ackles smut#young jensen ackles#dark angel imagine#dark angel one shot#dark angel fic#alec mcdowell imagine#alec mcdowell one shot#alec mcdowell smut#alec mcdowell x reader#alec mcdowell x you
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I like movie Moira McTaggert. I dislike how they give her so little sustance but that's also what I love?
"she's charles's love interest" In First Class she isn't given much with Charles (which yay love interest wise bc she can do better and nay in their lame attempt to make them seem romantically compatible) but she and Charles are close in like a best friends way but some other CIA agents assume it's more (they go with it bc 60s) meanwhile she's actually closer to Raven and imo it's Moira not Erik Raven goes to when she wants to know if someone can kiss her without her looking normal, Moira reassures her (Moira tells Hank off later then laughs when he comes in blue and furry before leaving for Cuba in like ironic you wouldn't kiss a naturally blue girl but now you're blue way)
where was she in DoFP which is where I imagine maybe she was there in 63 when Erik got arrested (workoholic bastard *affectionate*) and sure she doesn't remember Erik clearly but she kind of knows him so she may be sticks her neck out and gets him into the underground plastic cell (the other option was death and she just knows that that can't happen. Not only bc of the brotherhood but she vaguely remembers Charles's presence and knows Charles will not handle that shit well) and the reason why her course of action is accepted instead of dismissed or stolen by one of her male colleagues is bc Lady Kennedy spoke up for her, agreed to it, and was adamant in letting it be known that I was Moira's idea.
Then in Apocalypse she and Charles meet again (I'm re-writting the cringe ass meeting). In post DoFP with Charles and Hank re-opening the school he invites her over prior to the school opening that is when he gives her back her memories, she keeps the school quiet. Eventually she out-ranks Stryker and that pisses him off but oh well. Anyways he calls her over to Westchester because he knows something is wrong and she is the main one (aside from Lady Kennedy bc Lady Kennedy was a frequent visitor and writer to Erik) that has kept tabs on him at least where he lives and asks her to try contact him but then Apocalypse happens (Alex survives in my version) they all go and save Charles, Moira goes with Raven and Peter to knock some sense into Erik - in Moira's case literally. idk how but she does. Everything else follows in-verse minus Moira getting her memories back. Turns out Magda and Nina were alive and had been kidnapped but Magda and Erik divorce amicably as he doesn't want to put her in danger again and she has now seen first hand some shit that can happen to and around him. Nina goes to the Xavier school
(I'm making up a different movie in place of Phoenix) in the 90s they find out Banshee and Angel and some others are alive. They find out that the sentinals that killed them didn't kill them but teleported them somewhere else where Amahl Faruk finds them and brainwashes them into working for him. Hank, Raven, and Alex feel as though it is their duty - as the ones closest to them - to bring them back but Amahl is after Ororo and Charles. Hank, Raven, and Alex sneak out when the others are on a field trip overnight in like DC or something. in DC Moira is talking with Charles and Erik about a new mutant disturbance which throws them off as neither have detected any mutants in weeks which startles Moira bc how can the two strongest mutants not know. Amahl then hypnotizes Ororo and Charles - Academic he is still being up - feels that something is off and sees Storm but she doesn't feel right telepathically he calls to her to no avail, going after her Charles and Storm are kidnapped. Moira goes to the DC CIA office to gather Intel on what happened and threatens to cut everyone there a new one (Erik's with her and any beef they have, squashed. She's his bestie now) and with CIA Intel and plane they set off to save Charles and Ororo. (I can make this thing a whole post alone so I'm gonna stop here for now.)
but we still get the Paris proposal (Raven is also alive) Moira and Hank are Charles's Best Woman/Man, Raven is ordaining, with Magda and Angel as Erik's and Sean and Nina as the flower throwers (metal so Erik can reuse them later and make them last longer) and turns out Moira's son is a mutant (which for some explain her advocacy aside from her friendship with Charles) that becomes the ring bearer. And Alex is the first person to give a speech at the reception that makes everyone do a spit take
#moira mactaggert#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#xmen#xmen movies#x men first class#x men days of future past#x men apocalypse#random X-Men movie I made up#magda and Moira are besties#Magda and Nina live#Magda lensherr#Nina lensherr#Moira and Magda definitely tease Erik and Charles about their relationship#Charles and Erik regret introducing Magda and Moira#Nina is having the time of her life#and yes Nina knows Peter is her brother#Erik still doesn't
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Thankful
Aaron invites Emily to Thanksgiving, and things change between them forever.
-x-
Hi besties <3
This years Thanksgiving fic is a little earlier this year because Thanksgiving is the SGW anniversary so I am posting chapter 80 on Thursday to mark it!!
Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate, and if you're about to have a really hard couple of days with family I am holding more space for you than queer Twitter is for the lyrics of defying gravity.
Here's a little getting together fic for you all, and as always let me know what you think <3
-x-
Warnings: None
Words: 3.6k
Read over on Ao3, or below the cut
Aaron groans and drops his pen to his desk, his fingers pressed into his temples as he looks back and forth between his completed pile of paperwork and what he has left to do. He shakes his head, trying to rid himself of the headache he can feel building behind his eyes, and he blows out a breath.
“Coffee,” he mumbles to himself as he stands up and grabs his mug. He smiles and nods at Derek as he steps out of his office, and he walks past Emily and JJ’s empty desks. He spots them standing in the kitchenette, both of their backs turned to him, and he’s about to call out and make them aware he’s there, but he comes to a stop when he hears their conversation.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come to ours for Thanksgiving? Henry would love it, and Will makes enough food to feed the whole street anyway.”
Emily shakes her head, “It’s okay, I promise,” she replies, “I’m going to my mother’s. Part of my attempt to make good with her again after the whole faking my death thing.”
Aaron doesn’t have to see her face to know it’s a lie. Her relationship with her mother was still tense, at best, and he knew they barely spoke to each other. He’d offered to be a buffer of some sort, to go with her to see her mother - something he saw as his responsibility since her fake death had been his decision - but she’d turned him down. Her smile soft and appreciative as she told him she wouldn’t want to put him through that, her hand on his arm as he sucked in a breath and pretended that a simple touch from her combined with the smell of her perfume didn’t have him under her spell.
He couldn’t remember when he fell in love with her. It had snuck up on him, his feelings for her shifting from mistrust to friendship to more so slowly that it felt as natural to him as breathing. His love for her so much a part of him he didn’t know what he’d be without it anymore. He couldn’t remember when he fell in love with her, but he remembered when he realised. A familiar pit in his stomach as he stood over her grave that he’d felt at Haley’s funeral, the same suit heavy on his shoulders as he threw a rose on top of her empty coffin - the only flower he’d ever given her.
He told himself when she was in Paris that he’d do whatever was necessary to bring her home, that one day he’d get a chance to tell her that he loved her. Or at the very least, ask her out on a date. The reality of her return was different. She was a shell of herself, lost in the ruins of who she had once been - a feeling he was all too familiar with - and he knew there was very little she could take on top of the day-to-day of figuring out who she was now. He did his best to be there for her in the way that she’d let him, his support silent at first. Eventually, he knew he had to say something, worried that he’d lose her entirely if he didn’t, and they came to their agreement that she’d tell him when she had a bad day.
It had restarted whatever closeness they’d had before Doyle. She would spend evenings and her Saturdays with him and Jack. She’d sit on the sidelines of the little boy’s soccer games and cheer for him, her smile as close to hers as Aaron had seen it since just before everything went to hell. Any thought or attempt at telling her how he felt about her had taken a backseat, and he knew that he’d simply be her friend forever if that’s what she needed from him.
He clears his throat, feeling bad for eavesdropping, and they both turn to look at him, Emily’s smile slightly mischievous, “Sorry, Hotch.”
He suppresses a smile and reaches behind her to grab the coffee pot, “That’s okay, Prentiss.”
Outside of work, they only ever called each other by their first name, but they made a point of using surnames at work. They’d exchange a smirk as they did so and it had become a joke of sorts between them.
JJ scoffs and rolls her eyes at them, “Everyone knows you’re friends, you know,” she says, smiling before she turns to leave, throwing another comment over her shoulder as she walks away, “It’s okay if you guys call each other by your first names in front of the rest of us from time to time.”
Emily chuckles and shakes her head at JJ as she walks away, “We’ve been rumbled.”
He hums as he puts the coffee pot back down, “Speaking of being rumbled…” he starts, and she raises her eyebrow at him in response, “You’re spending Thanksgiving at your mother’s?”
She scrunches her nose up at him, “You heard that?”
“I did,” he says, hiding his smile behind his mug, “You didn’t want to go to JJ’s?”
She blows out a breath and looks around, making sure they are still alone, and she shrugs as she looks back at him, “This might sound awful, but I’m not sure I want to spend the day with them being an adorable happy family.”
“That doesn’t sound awful,” he assures her, “Sometimes the holidays just remind us…”
“Of what we don’t have,” she finishes for him before she sighs and smiles sadly “So I will be perfectly happy eating an entire pan of homemade mac and cheese to myself and hanging out with Sergio.”
Later, he’d wonder why he says what he says next. He isn’t sure if it’s the sadness she’s trying to hide from him, his love for her, or the thought of her spending a holiday alone, or even a combination of all three, but he finds himself talking before he really thinks about it.
“You could come over and spend the day with us if you’d like.”
She shakes her head, already ready to argue with him, “Oh, I couldn’t intrude.”
“It’s not intruding if I invite you,” he says, “Plus, I can promise no happy families. It’s me, Jack, Jess and her and Haley’s dad Roy who does not like me,” he smiles in a way he usually wouldn’t in the office, drawn in by her and the surprised laugh she breathes out, “So if anything, you’d be doing me a favour.”
She presses her lips together and looks at him curiously, and for a moment he’s sure she’s going to turn him down, but instead, she nods, her lips pressed together as she clears her throat, “Okay. That…that sounds nice. I’ll be here.”
“Good,” he says, trying to tamper down his excitement, “Jack will be so excited - we all know you’re his favourite person.”
She smiles, “Need me to bring anything?”
“Maybe that homemade mac and cheese you were talking about?”
She nods, “Okay,” she smiles at him, her lips pressed together as if she is holding something back, and then she clears her throat again, “I should go do some work.”
He nods, “I hear your boss is a bit of a tyrant.”
She chuckles and shrugs, throwing him a wink before she walks away, “He’s not all bad.”
___
She almost turns around and goes home.
She finds herself standing on his doorstep, a casserole dish full of Mac and Cheese balancing on one of her hands and a bottle of wine tucked up under her arm, wondering why she’d agreed to this. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to spend the day with Aaron and Jack, it was her favourite thing to do, but spending Thanksgiving with them, a day for families and spending time with those you love, was enough to make her ache.
She loved them in a way she wasn’t sure she had a right to.
She’d loved Jack the moment she met him. He was adorable and cranky in Haley’s arms as she walked into the office looking for Aaron, his cries at least in part coming from him picking up on his mother’s bad mood. Emily offered to take Jack for a few minutes when Haley tried to pretend she wasn’t furious as she looked up at Aaron’s office, and she’d been slightly surprised when she took her up on it. She’d sat at her desk for a few minutes with Jack in her lap and it was enough time for her to be completely charmed by him. Her love for him had grown with her relationship with him, and he was without a doubt one of the most important people in her life. Happiness and joy all rolled up into the smile of a 6-year-old boy who had already survived so much more than he should have.
Her love for Aaron was different. It had come out of nowhere, hit her like a truck as she stepped into his apartment and found him missing and his blood on the carpet. It was something she’d shoved down, something she’d pretended wasn’t there, and she’d been there for him as his world fell apart around him. There were times when she thought he might feel the same way too, fleeting moments when their eyes would meet and maybe felt as close to definitely as it ever had. Then Doyle happened. Tearing her sense of self apart for a second time, and she was glad there was nothing more between her and Aaron that would have put him in danger.
Since she came home they’d become closer again, any initial awkwardness gone as quickly as it had appeared, and sometimes she’d find him looking at him like he used to again. She wanted more with him, with him and Jack - to be part of an actual family for the first time in her life - but she wasn’t sure she was enough for them anymore.
She wasn’t sure if she’d ever get back to the Emily that Aaron may have once loved.
She’s drawn out of herself when the door to the apartment is torn open, and she looks up to meet Aaron’s eyes. A smile on his face that only seemed to exist in the confines of his home, a soft side of him that belongs to his son that he would let her see too.
“Hi,” he says, taking the casserole dish from her, “Happy Thanksgiving.”
She chuckles, “Happy Thanksgiving,” she tilts her head at him curiously, “How did you know I was out here? I didn’t knock.”
He steps back to let her into the apartment, “I saw you standing out here. I knew if I let you think about it any longer you’d leave.”
She presses her lips together and nods, “Sometimes I worry you know me a little too well.”
He laughs and puts the mac and cheese down on the kitchen counter, “I don’t think that’s possible,” he smiles over at Jessica who is standing in the kitchen and cooking, “Jess, you remember Emily.”
Jessica nods, “Happy Thanksgiving, Emily.”
“Happy Thanksgiving,” she says, “Everything smells amazing.”
Jack interrupts them before they can say anything else. He runs down the hall from his bedroom, throwing himself into Emily’s arms, “Emmy!”
“Hi Jack,” she says, hugging him close as she kisses his forehead before she pulls back, “Happy Thanksgiving.”
“You too,” he smiles, “I was just showing Grandpa the train set you got me for my birthday.”
Emily looks up and smiles at a man she’d only seen briefly once before at his daughter’s funeral. She didn’t have to be good at what she did to see the way Roy looks at her, followed by the way he looks at Aaron. Distrust and a hint of anger in his eyes that feels misplaced. It makes her shackles rise, her grip on Jack in her arms tightening as she slips on a mask she’d had for as long as she could remember. One that had grown with her since she was the same age as the little boy in her arms.
She paints on a smile and adjusts her hold on Jack, holding one hand out to Roy for him to shake, “Nice to meet you, Mr Brooks.”
He hums and looks down at her hand before he steps past her to get a drink from the kitchen, “You’re Aaron’s friend.”
She narrows her eyes as he turns his back and then she catches Aaron’s gaze, sees the I told you he hates me shining in his eyes, and she clears her throat, ready to protect the man she loves from anything, even his ex-father-in-law.
“Yes,” she says, her smile as polite as it could be, “I am.”
___
Dinner is hard work.
She has to stop herself from interjecting each time Roy says something passive-aggressive, or occasionally downright aggressive, to Aaron. The only things that stop her are the fact that Jack is in the room and that she’s sure Aaron wouldn’t appreciate her inserting herself into complicated family affairs.
By the time Jessica and Roy leave, she can’t help but wonder how such a horrid man had raised two such wonderful women. It feels unkind, especially when she acknowledges what he has lost, but it sticks in her mind. How he’s so obviously lost in his own grief that he’s taking it out on those around him, specifically Aaron, without acknowledging what he’d lost too. Or that he was the father of his grandson, the absolute hero of his grandson, and that if he carried on down the path he was taking Jack would only grow to resent him for treating his father that way as he gets older.
She blows out a breath and sinks further into Aaron’s couch, glass of wine in hand, and she smiles at the sound of chattering coming from Jack’s bedroom down the hall. She closes her eyes and imagines a world where this was her life. Where she sat here every evening listening to her Hotchner boys talk to each other, or snuggled between them on the couch every night.
She opens her eyes when she hears the bedroom door opening and she smiles at Aaron as he walks towards her, “He okay?”
Aaron nods as he sits down, “He’s okay. Holidays are hard - he misses Haley.”
“You both do,” she says, smiling softly at him.“It’s okay to miss her even though you weren't together anymore when she died. You’ve known her most of your life,” she reaches out for him, her hand on his arm before she can think about it, “It’s okay to miss her.”
He nods, blowing out a slow breath, chuckling humourlessly as he reaches for his glass of wine on the coffee table, grateful when her hand doesn’t slip away from his arm, her palm warm against his skin “And you say I know you too well.”
She hums, “I don’t think that’s possible,” she smiles when he does at her repetition of his words earlier that day, “Can I ask you something?”
“Always.”
There’s something so honest about the way he says it that it surprises her for a moment, stealing the breath from her lungs as she smiles at him, “Has Roy always been like that with you?”
“Standoffish?”
“I was going to go for rude,” she mutters, “But yeah. Has he always been like that?”
He sighs and sinks back against the couch, a lifetime of memories hitting him all at once as he thinks about the man who had never quite liked him, but never used to hate him like he did now.
“He was never really a fan of mine,” he answers, turning his head to look at her, “But Haley loved me and he loved her so he…put up with me. Then when we got divorced he stopped pretending.”
She clenches her jaw, desperate to keep her words back long enough so she can make sure they’re measured. She was used to controlling her feelings for him around him but this felt different, the need to protect him so strong she felt it thumping alongside her heart in his chest.
“Still, you’re Jack’s dad, and his only parent,” she has a sip of wine, “He should show you the respect you deserve.”
“To him, this is the respect I deserve. After all, I’m the reason his daughter is dead.”
He only realises he’s said it outloud when she gasps, an intake of breath that she can’t stop as her eyes go wide. He knows he wouldn’t say it in front of anyone else but she had this way of flaying him open, of tearing him apart at the seams where he’d sewn himself back together, and he could never quite figure out if he liked it or not.
Being entirely known by someone was a privilege, but it was a vulnerability too, and it had been so long since he’d let someone get this close to him.
“Aaron…” she chokes out, leaning forward to place her glass of wine down on the table, “You…you don’t believe that do you?”
“I…” he trails off, placing his glass of wine next to hers before he turns, his knee knocking against hers the first indication he gets of how close she is to him now, “Sometimes.”
She isn’t sure if she wants to yell at him or hug him. Or both. Fierce protectiveness of him rolling through her again, even though it was him that she wanted to protect him from. She reaches out for him, and she hesitates for a second, her hand frozen in the air, before she cups his cheek and makes him look at her.
“It isn’t your fault,” she says, her eyes searching his, “The man whose fault it is died. He’s dead. You…you’re the reason your son is alive, and thriving and the happiest kid I’ve ever met.” She says, and he chuckles, the sound thick as it catches in his chest, “And you always joke I’m his favourite person but it’s you, Aaron. You’re his favourite person. He loves you so much.”
“I know,” he chokes out, leaning into the warmth of her palm against his cheek, trying to commit it all to memory for when it would come to an end, “Usually I can rationalise it. I know it’s not my fault. But...It’s just hard to remember sometimes.”
“I know,” she replies, smiling sadly when their eyes meet, “Better than most.”
They sit like that, in their half embrace with her hand against his cheek, staring at each other, and for a moment she thinks about leaning in, about pressing her lips against his and kissing him, but she stops herself. Her bravery snuffed out as quickly as it had ignited, not entirely sure she could take the leap unless she knew he wanted to jump with her too.
She pulls back abruptly, leaving his cheek cold as her hand slips to her lap and she clears her throat. “I should get going. Thanks for having me.”
Aaron frowns and stands up at the same time she does, “Em-”
“Sergio will be waiting for me,” she says, cutting him off as she walks towards the front door, “He is grumpy when I don’t-”
“Emily,” he says, firmer this time, stopping her from getting any further away by standing in front of her, “What’s wrong?”
She shakes her head, “If I have to say it, I’ve misread a lot over the years and I am really bad at my job.”
He sucks in a breath, and he knows it’s now or never, that if he lets her leave it would be over before it could even start. They were at a crossroads, two paths laid out in front of them, and he knew there was only one that he wanted to walk.
And it was the one where she’d be right by his side.
He steps forward, making it so there’s no space between them, and he tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear. He sucks in a breath at the same time she does, and their eyes meet for a second before he leans in, her lips soft against his. It’s everything and more than they’d both imagined over the years, a moment in time and one that would last forever, drawing out around them like the finest of thread as they moved forward together. Everything they could, and would have, leading back to this one kiss.
When she pulls back she rests her forehead against his, her lips pressed together before she licks them, chasing the taste of him on her skin, “So,” she says, chuckling breathlessly, “I wasn’t misreading anything.”
He shakes his head and pulls back to look at her, both of his arms wrapped around her to keep her in place, “Em, I…”
She nods and rests her forehead against his again, “I know,” she cups the back of his head, her nails scratching against his scalp, “I know.”
They stand there, pressed against each other as they breathe each other in, the acknowledgement of everything else there was left to say, and he chuckles and pulls back to look at her, “Would it be cheesy for me to say this is something I’m thankful for?”
She laughs, the sound wet as it catches on a sob and she nods, making her forehead knock against his, “Yes,” she says, wrapping her arms around his neck and dragging him into a kiss, “But I’ll let it slide this once.”
She doesn’t have to say that she’s thankful too, because he already knows.
#hotchniss fanfic#emily prentiss#aaron hotchner fanfiction#aaron hotchner x emily prentiss#hotchniss fanfiction#emily prentiss fanfiction#aaron x emily#aaron hotchner#hotchniss#hotchniss fan fic
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Hi sweetie! Here's my idea for young Sirius x introverted reader: She always had a crush on him but she thinks Sirius doesn't even know who she is until the rest of the Marauders help them to get together
“It’s painfully obvious,” James whines. His head pressed snuggly into Lily’s bossom. Remus rolls his eyes with the turn of a page. “Guys we are supposed to be working.” Peter sighs. He shifts uncomftably on the floor, his spot having been commandeered by the couple now spread out on the couch. Remus being the smart one chose the love seat, which deeply troubled Peter. “Just admit it.” James’ words are muffled. “Y/N fancies Sirius.”
Lily rolls her eyes. Her fingers rake through her boyfriends crazy curls. For the second time today she imagines a little girl or a little boy with his unrully hair.
Remus now thoughly envolved in the conversation, closes his book and removes his legs from the armrest. “If it is so obvious why does Lily need to say anything?”
James groans. Pulling his head up, his eyes catch hers. “You aren’t going to tell me. Are you?”
She shakes her head. “FINE!” James gently pries himself off her body, steps over Peter, and pulls Remus to his feet. “Where are you going?” Lily asks. “Hey!” Remus shouts as his book falls to the floor. Lily narrowly rescued the pages from dire death. “WE ARE GOING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET THESE TWO BUFFOONS TOGETHER” James’ voice trails off as they disappear up the stairs.
Peter looks down at his unfinished work and then at Lily. “Guess it is just us now,” he shrugs, moving to the couch. Lily gets up and gathers her things. “I’m really sorry Peter but I need to find Y/N.” “Oh,” Peter looks dejected. “Hey,” Lily places a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll make it up to you later, okay. Bye, Peter!”
“Bye,” Peter sags into the couch. His quill still on the floor.
Lily wondered around the castle for an hour. On her way back to the dorm she decided to check the library once more. “Hush!” “Shhh.” “You hush!” Rolling her eyes, Lilly taps both boys on the shoulder. Remus and James jump. “Lily!” “Bloody hell,” Remus sighs.
“What are you two doing?” She peers around them. Her eyes search for why the boys are hiding behind a row of books. “Are you serious?”
James’ smile grows and Remus jabs him with his elbow. Lily’s eyes cut abruptly to her boyfriend who swallows the joke. “Look at them.” James points.
Silence engulfs the trio. Y/N and Sirius lean over the table. Textbook sprawled open, old parchment paper from previous classes lay on the floor and on the table, Sirius fiddles with Y/N’s tie, which was discarded moments ago. Y/N restates her question, a finger hovering above an important text.
“They are studying…” Lily whispers. This time James cuts his eyes to Lily. Remus chuckles at the blush that paints her cheeks. Lily ducks her head concealing her face from her boyfriend. The thought of their future child again on her mind, oh the attitude. Thanfully, James eyes are back on the friends studying. “Just watch,” James says.
A few more questions in and the couple leans back in their chairs. Sirius sets her tie in his lap and tugs his own off and tosses it on the table. “I really appreciate the help, Y/N,” he tilts his head to the left and nudges her arm with his. Y/N smiles. “Any time. We can’t have our best quidditch player out for the game, now can we?”
James scoffs, which earns him a hush from Remus and Lily.
“Best quidditch player, eh?” Sirius’ rotates his shoulders and leans forward resting his head on the book they were just reading.
Lily jumps when James squeezes her hip tightly. His lips pressed against her ear. “Look!” Y/N reaches her hand to Sirius’ back and starts scratching it softly.
This has been in my drafts for a hot second. Trying to get back into writing. Please send me requests!
#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter#mauraders#sirius black#James potter#remus lupin#lily evans#james and lily#Sirius x Reader#!youngSirius#young sirius black#harry potter reader insert
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What Could Have Been: A Bad Romance One-Shot
Series: What If but more specifically Maximum Damage (the alternate ending)
Original Series: Bad Romance
Fandom: The Royal Romance/The Royal Heir
Pairing for this chapter: Liam x Max (now), Liam x Riley (past), Riley x Max (past)
Rating: MA
Warnings for this chapter: character death mentioned.
Word Count: 812
A/N: This was written in response to an ask from @kyra75 for the angstgiving event hosted by @choicesprompts. The request was for the prompt "What could have been" and was specifically for the Bad Romance gang. Since BR had a happily ever after, I couldn't come up with a good, angsty what could have been until the alternate ending popped into my head. Once it did, this just suddenly existed in my head and I had to write it.
My other stuff: Master List.
The crown princess of Cordonia was getting married to the love of her life. It was a watershed moment in her life. All of Cordonia would be watching as she walked down the aisle.
The king was sure that there had never been a prouder father in the history of the world. His little princess was all grown up. She was happy. She was radiant. She looked just like her mother.
He turned his head to observe his queen. The years hadn’t dimmed her beauty one bit. She was as beautiful as the day he’d first lain eyes on her in that bar in New York.
Liam had been born into wealth, and raised to rule, but the greatest privilege of his life had been raising their daughter. It didn’t matter that biologically speaking; she was Drake’s daughter. Her DNA didn’t matter.
Drake. The best friend he’d ever had. His childhood companion. His partner in crime. His closest confidant. His brother.
“Don’t get too sentimental. You promised her you wouldn’t cry.” Drake smiled at him from the seat on the other side of Riley.
“How can I help it?” Liam responded as tears slipped down his cheek. “You’re here. You’re both here for her big day.”
“Liam.” Max’s voice intruded on the scene.
Not yet, Max. Just a few more moments.
Riley leaned over and touched his hand. “She’s so lucky to have you. You’ve done a wonderful job. You and Max both. Thank you.”
“Liam. Liam.”
Not yet, Max!
But it was too late. They were already fading.
“Wait! Don’t go!”
“Liam, come on, it’s time to get up.” Max shook him gently by the shoulders. “We don’t want to be late for the wedding.”
Liam blinked against the onslaught of brightness flooding into the royal suite. “Max?”
“Yeah, who else would it be? Are you okay? You were crying in your sleep.”
“I was dreaming, but Max, it seemed so real! I was at the wedding, and Riley was with me! Drake too!”
“Oh, babe.” Max climbed back into the bed and wrapped Liam in his arms and tears sprang into his own eyes. “I miss them too.”
Twenty six years later and he still blamed himself. If only he hadn’t dropped the damn cell phone that day. If only he’d pulled over to the side of the road before trying to call 911. If he’d done that, then Riley and Drake would both still be here. Hope would have her biological parents. Liam would have his queen. He would have his everything.
But that’s not what happened and now all they could do was dream about what could have been.
Liam looked up into his husband’s eyes. “It wasn’t your fault. It was a tragic accident.”
Max smiled through his tears. Of course Liam knew exactly what he was thinking. Liam was the only reason he was alive. Liam had willed him to live and pushed him to walk again.
Getting out of that wheelchair had been the hardest thing he’d ever done. Not because of the grueling months of physical therapy, but because he had felt like he deserved to be there. He would never understand why he had Liam’s love and forgiveness when he knew he didn’t deserve it, but he was grateful for it. And he was grateful for the daughter they shared. The one whose heart stopping smile was the spitting image of the woman they had both lost.
“I know,” Max lied. Today was a happy day, not a day to wallow in recriminations. “We both promised Hope that we wouldn’t cry today.”
Liam laughed, a bit of sunshine returning to his life. Max had a way of doing that. “We all knew that was a lie when we said it.”
“Oh, a bald faced lie! She’s our baby girl. Of fucking course we’re going to cry!”
Liam laughed again as the last vestiges of the dream wisped away.
Riley and Drake would be there in spirit. Hope had left two reserved seats empty to represent them.
Hope was what they had left of their lost loved ones. And she had brought exactly that into their lives. Hope was what they had clung to in those early days of grief. She had brought sunshine and joy, laughter, and beauty back into the world.
Drake had certainly named her appropriately all those years ago.
Four hours later, they watched her say I do. They both cried copious amounts, but they were happy tears.
And while they both wished that Riley and Drake were there with them, they were thankful to have each other.
The king glanced at the two empty seats. He swore he could feel them there. Maybe, somehow, in some other existence, they were.
Deep in his heart, Liam believed that somewhere out there, in an alternate universe, what could have been, was.
#angelasscribbles#the royal romance#trr#the royal romance fanfic#choices fic writers creations#cfwc fics of the week#liam rys#choices#choices stories you play#riley brooks#maxwell beaumont#drake walker#king liam#choices prompts
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xu hongdou: waxing poetic about her best friend
xie zhiyuan: 💔
#she’s trying to get over the death of her best friend#he thinks she’s trying to get over a breakup#i LOVE this about them#sarah watches tv
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i finished it, was kicked out of the game, and then spent the next 10 minutes drawing this. i will now go take a shower, most likely cry, and then go through the emotional turmoil of convincing myself to reset so i can do a geno run. i hate it here :D
#undertale yellow#uty#my art#<- ifg#spoilers under these tags beware. although it is mostly just me being very very sad#that entire thing was heart wrenching. anyways#CEROBAS FIGHT??? HELLO???#i had to exit out of it the first time (i got to the last phase) to get better items but i came back and won pretty quickly#but THE CUTSCENES?!?!?#JFC NO WONDER THIS WOMANS SO MESSED UP. HER HUSBAND PRACTICALLY DIED IN HER ARMS AND THE LAST THING HE LEFT HER WITH- HIS DYING WISH- COULD#ONLY BE FULFILLED BY PUTTING THEIR ONLY CHILD IN DEATHS WAY. AND THEN WHEN SHE TOOK THAT RISK THE WORST THING HAPPENED AND SHE NOW HAS TO#LIVE WITH THE GUILT OF BEING THE ONE TO. MOST LIKELY. KILL HER ONE AND ONLY DAUGHTER#ALL THE WHILE SHE WAS PUSHING AWAY HER CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND AND CONVINCING HERSELF THAT SHE WAS IN THE RIGHT TO SACRIFICE CLOVER WHO HAD#BEEN ONLY KIND MERCIFUL AND JUST THIS WHOLE TIME. EVEN TO THOSE WHO WERE TRYING TO KILL THEM. FUCK.#AAND WHEN CLOVER HUGGED HER I DOUBLED OVER IRL BC *THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO DO IN THAT MOMENT* I HATE IT (read: love it) HERE#n dont even get me STARTED on after that. when clover started moving on their own and the gd white screen came up and we got flashbacks of#everyone's words. thats when the tears rlly started coming bc it clicked for me. 'oh. this is it. isn't it?' and IT WAS#WHEN THEY GAVE THEIR FUCKIGN HAT AND GUN AWAY TO MARTLET AND STARLO WELL THATS WHEN I REALLY STARTED CRYING#AAND THE GROUP HUGG#I WAS SOBBING WHENEVER I HAD TO WATCH THEM CRAWL UP AGAINST THE WALL AND DIE AND HAVE FLOWEYS WORDS PLAY OVERHEAD#AND THE FUCKOGN#THE F U C K I N G#AFTEWRCREDITS SCENE WHERE WE GOT THE 'You heard someone calling for help. You answered.' I GOT CHILLS SO BAD#to think that all the other souls have stories just as expansive and emotional as clover n frisks. how fucked up is that. in a good way tho#and finally the last scene where we got all 4 of our main friends sending us off in waterfall and we see clovers items end up in the dump#just waiting to be found by bratty and catty. fucken hell man this was a masterpiece#anyways time to reset and obliterate everyone and never emotionally recover from that ever!! really is feeling like 2016-17 again w the way#this game has me sobbing my eyes out and feeling the guilt of knowing that i dont HAVE to kill them all but im too curious not to#oh well. at least i have the balls to do it this time around instead of letting a youtuber do it for me ig
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A future fic carcass I'll write when I write (after I finish 9 ungoing fics)
King Viserys dies at the wedding celebration of his daughter, Crown Princess Rhaenyra Targaryen.
No one else does.
I am a firm believer Otto and Viserys are the rot on the face of the House of the Dragon and without these two everything would be fine-ish.
Unfortunately, we need Vissy T for his kids to be born, so Viserys dies soon after Aemond is conceived. Sorry, Daeron, not this time.
Joffrey doesn't die because he doesn't manage to provoke Criston before the king dies.
Rhaenyra overrules his father's decision and marries Harwin Strong.
Their son Jacaerys Targaryen is the heir to the throne, Lucerys Targaryen is the heir to Harrenhal.
Daemon marries Laena and lives at Dragonstone (Rhaenyra grants him that), their firstborn is the heir of Driftmark.
Laenor joins the Queensguard and is sent to Dragonstone to protect Prince Daemon (ha) and his future heirs.
Criston Cole becomes the Commander of City Watch while still retaining his white cloak (what? He did it in canon, can do it here).
Rhaenyra removes Tyland Lannister as the master of ships and appoints Corlys Velaryon (back).
When Baela and Rhaena are born, it is decided to betroth Prince Aegon and Lady Baela, making him future lord-consort of Driftmark (and successfully removing him out of succession of the iron throne).
When Jace is born, his and Helaena's betrothal is announced.
Baelon is born without an issue and the royal family meets at the celebration on Dragonstone, where Aemond claims Cannibal and loses an eye in the process.
(Kinslayer, everyone. It fits).
Afterwards Luke is sent as a ward to Harrenhal with his father. A huge ass scene ensures there Luke clings to Aemond and refuses to go.
Aegon makes a greasy comment and gets punched.
Both Aegon and Baela are sent as wards to Driftmark.
Lucerys still leaves.
Harrenhal doesn't burn bc even if Larys kills Harwin and Luke, there's still Lyonel and Joffrey in the equation. Lyonel keeps serving Queen Rhaenyra as her Hand.
Years later the royal family meets at the wedding celebration of Baela and Aegon, where Luke and Aemond behave very much like Rhaenyra and Daemon at Rhaenyra's not happened wedding.
Rhaenyra and Alicent clutch at their pearls, Rhaenyra suggests father died because of seeing something like that.
Daemon asks if she implies they killed Viserys, then asks where is Baelon.
Laena replies Baelon is playing knights with Joffrey.
Rhaenyra and Harwin Strong (no) have three more children, Aegon, Viserys and Visenya, all silver-haired like their mother (her uncle).
Laena is fine with it, they have a poly. Laena doesn't have more children because Baelon's birth was a ghasty one.
Baelon claims the Grey Ghost.
Otto is never called back to the capital because (suprise!) Rhaenyra didn't rush to kill her 3 y.o brother or the other one who was born after Viserys' death. Instead she marries Aegon off so he's no threat.
Aemond eventually joins the Queensguard and is appointed to the future lord of Harenhall.
Lucerys refuses to marry and appoints his brother Viserys as his heir, who marries Visenya. They have a very good life in Harrenhal.
The reason Luke skips over Joffrey is because Joffrey is always at the sea (with Baelon), and Aegon the Younger is bethrothed to Baela and Aegon the Elder' firstborn, Laena.
Everyone lives happily ever after, Otto gets to be the head of the house Hightower after he successfully plots against his own kin, since his blood is secured on the throne, if in unconventional for him way.
He once tried to manipulate Aegon, but was cut off sharply by Rhaenys and Corlys, who kind of adopted the boy as theirs.
Aegon enjoys wandering about Essos very much, he, of course, whores around, but he and Baela have an agreement. One of Baela's children is born from Alyn of Hull, but no one is any wiser, since everyone just thinks the child looks like her.
Jacaerys and Helaena have three kids, Jaehaerys and Jaehaera and then Maelor.
Jaehaera is oldest and so is the heir.
Oh, and Rhaena is happily married to Corwyn Cobray. They have a daughter, Rhaenys.
#hotd#hotd au#queen rhaenyra#hotd fanfic#fuck viserys#i will write it one day bc i have such a vivid image of the scenes such as: viserys' death. rhaenyra overruling her father's decision#explaining it and trying to mediate it so Corlys wouldn't start another war#'i thought it was in the tradition for the king or queen to marry their hand's child'#the greens' FACES at that#rhaenyra gathering Laenor and his entire fam and suggesting queensguard#“but then he won't be able to wed a woman. have a family-”#-exactly *Rhaenyra and Laenor lock gases. she nods. he nods.* -i accept#Aemond just fucking WANDERING AWAY TO CLAIM THE SCARIEST ASS DRAGON THAT IS THERE#the total panic then Laenor finds him and brings back with EYE LESS. (he almost got to the castle but fainted mid way)#corlys trying to push for baelon as the heir and laena&rhaenys being: “NO”#the unspoken kinship in the house of whoring around. Harwin being like “i support my wife's wrongs” and loving egg vis and visenya as his#NO ONE KNOWING THEY'RE NOT HIS. LIKE LEGIT THEY COULD BE HIS OR HARWIN'S. EVEN RHARNYRA DOESN'T KNOW#aegon living his best life as a sailor and explorer#Aemond looking at Laenor and being like “i can do that too”#laenor living THE BEST LIFE by his sis and her husband/his friend's side. and Joffrey is ALIVE#criston eventually getting over himself and accepting that Rhaenyra indeed couldn't run away with him#like imagine if they run away and then vissy t died#whoops i guess#also i just realized i accidentally made it so that Harrenhal is eventually ruled not by Strongs but Daemon's kids#lmao i guess#They are Targaryens (tm) your honor#the amount of dragons they're about to have...like harrenhal has 4 just with luke aemond and visx2#Dragonstone has 3 even if all kids scatter about#cobrays have 2 (Rhaena's and her daughters)#driftmark has at least 3 and then Laena is born and its 4
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nothing broke me more in yesterday's episode than realizing that the only reason why ruby doesn't describe weiss to little when looking for blake and yang simply is because she thinks weiss made it to vacuo. girlie already racking up seven different kinds of breakdowns and she doesn't even know her best friend's presence on the island is going to introduce a brand new one... please pray for ruby rose because she's about to eat dust this volume
#rwby v9 spoilers#v8 was truly all kinds of good but one of the best because it gave me v8c13/14#which are simply masterpieces. like... yang sacrificing herself to save ruby and leading to her falling off the platform#IN FRONT OF BLAKE#who just got yang back#so obviously blake does the only thing she thinks of. and launches gambol shroud and MISSES#and then her next step is to try and follow yang because she PROMISED she wasn't leaving her again. and weiss holds her back#and she won't let her go over the edge#then they're back to fighting and blake tries to save ruby. and fails. and they're both falling#and weiss.... WEISS HAS TO WITNESS IT ALL#her friends her FAMILY seemingly fell to their deaths and there was nothing she could do#but it doesn't stop there. because then penny gets mortally wounded and jaune has to mercy kill her#and weiss sees it happening again. she lost so many people#AND ALL OF THIS HAPPENED IN A TWO EPISODE SPAN#AND NOW THEY GOTTA DEAL WITH THE AFTERMATH WHILE IN AN UNKNOWN REALM#AND MOST LIKELY WITHOUT THEIR AURAS#oh team rwby.... what emotional horrors are you going to face next. where is the line going to be drawn#when ruby finally can't take it anymore and snaps and lashes out and they all get a peek at the teenager ruby shouldve been#because she's finally the same age as them when it all started. they didn't get to be teens either#but on god they gotta make sure ruby gets to heal as well#im gonna fucking SCREAM#bumbleby#rwby
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this is my little girl 💖
she’s running low on time with us, and my dad has been saying things along the lines of ‘this is why I don’t like pets’, because he finds the grieving process so hard.
I don’t fault him for that, he just feels loss deeply and deals with it differently.
sometimes I even find myself falling briefly into the same thinking. ‘what if making a different choice all those years ago saved me and my family from this grief and this pain?’
but I also know there’s no way I would make a different decision. no amount of grief could outweigh the joy she’s brought us over these last fifteen years. the laughter, the comfort, the connection.
I think about hikes with my dad when she was tiny and able bodied and would race up ahead of us on the trails and then race back to check on us. I think about the first time she saw snow and she instantly turned into a tiny fluffy bunny rabbit, hopping through drifts that were ankle deep for us but nearly buried her, and the matted snowballs she came away with, looking like a tiny curly haired yeti.
I think of her interrupting GrammE and John’s wedding along with Sagie, confusion turning into laughter as they sped after each other across the backyard ceremony. I think of my mom, lonely on the island and isolated during covid, telling me that Ginger was her saving grace.
and these don’t even scratch the surface. fifteen years of love she’s given us.
so yeah. losing her is going to damn near break me and I know that. but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
#you don’t have to read the post I just want people to look at my baby#if you have non-human family members give them a little extra love#I’m trying so hard to remind myself that not only have these last fifteen years been a gift#but these last six months or so have been a straight up miracle#I love her so much#I worry about how my mom is going to cope with her loss#she’s my best friend but she’s lived with my mom since my mom moved out#and so she’s been a daily companion to her and part of all of her routines#on one hand I’m relieved because caring for a dog especially an aging and disabled one#is a lot of work and my mom herself is already disabled and needs additional help#(and sometimes that resulted in me worrying that both of them weren’t getting proper care for their health)#but on the other hand I do think Ginge had been the biggest part of combating loneliness for my mom#especially after losing Tan#anyway I’m uh maybe crying too much to type now so I’m gonna call it#but I might post more photos of my little old lady baby over the next few days#because I love her and I think other people should too lol#personal#tw pet death#tw pet loss#(she’s not gone yet to be clear but I’m tagging these for other people’s sake bc I know it’s upsetting)#(she’s in the final days/weeks of kidney failure just in case anyone is wondering why I’m making assumptions about her passing)#toy poodle#poodle#pet#dog#puppy
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have not left bed today + found out another friend got locked up + want to beat up every single adult that saw what was happening to me and looked away or actively made it worse
#personal#vent#suicide mention tw#i need to call her. last time we talked she said she was going to kill herself if she got incarcerated again#i love her. nothing makes me more angry at so many systems than trying to do suicide support with my friends who are locked up#trying to do this shit over the phone with people listening in. trying to figure out what meaningful support we can even give#because when she says that death is better than months of solitary i know exactly how she feels and what she means and i cannot fucking#most of the skills mainstream peer support has ever taught me are useless in that situation and my best is not enough#there are so many places that need to be burnt down.#there are so many people i love who are not out and it starts to kill me a little bit#and cops are starting to fuck with us here more. i've gotten bruised up a couple times from being shoved around#nothing too bad yet but just#jesus christ#sorry for coming on here to vent all the time but my offline life is a little crazy at the moment and half this shit i can't talk about irl#i honestly think i need to like. start learning how to fight properly again. bc i have so much anger right now#and learning how to actually fight sounds like a better idea then fucking off and getting into random fights like i used to#idk. will look into it
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me realizing some people were emotionally hit by the twist that it's a dream sequence while i was watching it the whole time absolutely sure it wasn't real but still worried it might be and thinking about how the true horror was shauna being all touchy feely towards the baby
#happy for the people just to be clear i wish i didnt feel let down by this ep#but i felt super underwhelmed and it felt very#hm. like. oh my god are you scared of rly getting into pregnancy as horror. you were setting up shauna as someone who is A BAD PARENT#a fucked up parent even from the first scenes of the pilot#and shes having a baby as a 17yo (18? by now? whatever) in the wilderness. the pregnancy reveal caused her best friend's death#and shes not shown to give a fuck abt that baby before its born either like#you rly want me to get hit emotionally with this? well im too busy trying to figure out why shauna is acting like uh#a woman who just gave birth to a planned baby she wanted lmao#like my god can we PLEASE have tv thats unafraid to show pregnancy as horror#and characters who dont feel that quote unquote magical 'maternal' haze blah blah forgot abt all the pain bc oh look at the fucking baby#sorry im disappointed#just to be clear im not one of the I Hate Kids freaks in fact i adore children i just hate pregnancy and would rather die than get pregnant#was p excited for fucked up pregnancy shit and we got this . lifetime lukewarm take on shauna pregnancy#someone write horror shauna pregnancy fic i swear this has to be done#anyways. rant over#yellowjackets spoilers#yellowjackets blogging
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Kevin is a fun character for me because the character the game repeatedly tells us he is and the character the game repeatedly shows us he is are just… blatantly two different characters, but regardless of which one you choose to believe is canon, he’s still one of the most sympathetic mf in the game and I will be very upset if he’s actually killed off
#honkai impact#kevin kaslana#where are my fellow Kevin enthusiasts at?#‘the only person he cares about is Dr. MEI-‘ hoyo you literally introduced him by showing us him repeatedly reliving one Sakura’s death#and the guilt that consumed him because of it and the various other sacrifices he had to make#those are not the actions of a dude who doesn’t care!!!#he built Hua a god damn sanctuary to keep her safe!#he chose saving Su’s life over completing project stigma (you know… Dr. MEI’s frickin legacy)#the Kaslana stigma version of him shows that he fucking loves his family and values their accomplishments#he cried over Elysia’s death#the ER version of him fucking risked it all to save her sim#hell he even recruited Mei just to honor Ely’s legacy and show her she won#in ‘the demon’ rememberance vessel they explicitly say he was desperately trying to keep Su out of the fight all together#and also did his best to keep Mobius away from Su#and in EE he only talked to Aponia just so Su didn’t have to#Mihoyo these are not the actions of someone who doesn’t care#also he kept Fu Hua’s feather safe and gave it back to Senti so she could get her body back#Kevin deeply loves all his friends and family and nothing Mihoyo says can convince me otherwise#he did everything for them not just for Dr. MEI#I can’t even judge his actions#like he’s literally just some guy- how is he supposed to know how to save the world#these aren’t even his plans. he’s just trying his best#I’d also go a little insane if I was powerless to stop most of my loved ones from dying and the world from being destroyed in front of me#I can’t blame him for not immediately trusting the power of friendship#man makes sense to me
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