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heavenunderthemoon · 4 years ago

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Doctor, Doctor- Luke Alvez x Reader

Summary: Luke gets injured on a case and you’re his doctor

warnings: mentions of assault

The team had found themselves on a rather hard case, harder than most. Those that were in their home territory tended to do that.

Cases at home meant that, suddenly, that tiny, invisible, practically none-existent barrier between them and the monsters was ripped away. That fine layer of protection that seemed to encase them every time they got off the jet, stepped off that plane and hailed their cabs back home, back to their family, back to their safety, was gone. Every twig snap, shadow, and eerie noise had their senses on edge. Not only did it cause the team to become more tense but it also awakened a protective rage. Monsters weren't supposed to follow them home.

But this one did.

A man, of course, white and in his mid-forties, avenging a mistake his mother made long ago. The team had split up, attempting to cover as much ground as they could in the abandoned warehouse. That was how they had caught him, the unsub leading them to a rather dilapidated part of the building. The floorboards creaked under his weight, and the team had shuffled in to follow uneasily. Distracted by the seemingly unstable building, they hardly had time to react when a blur of movement halted them in their tracks.

Luke had been the unlucky one to be closest to it. The hammer in the unsub's hands rained upon his head with a sickening crack and he collapsed to the floor with a groan. Already, his head was pounding, eyes fluttering in an attempt to shut them but he forced himself awake. His survival instincts kicked in, ignoring the team handcuffing and escorting the unsub out, only focusing on his breathing.

The team had been worried, extremely so. They practically had to hang up on the technical analyst, the Garcia woman screaming into the phone as the team forced the former ranger into the ambulance bay and shuttling him off to the hospital.

He had protested the entire way. Sure, his head hurt, but he wanted to go home. Besides, it was a tiny little cut, how bad could it be?

After hours of pacing the waiting room and too many cups of cheap, hospital coffee, the team was informed by a nurse that they could see the man once more. With spirits high and hopes higher, the group made their way into room, surprised to hear a familiar laugh roaring through the space.

Sitting up in a hospital bed, gown disheveled and far too small on his muscular body, Luke wore a large, woozy grin. His hands clutched two slender fingers, his eyes never quite leaving the y/e/c orbs before him.

The room smelled like most hospitals, like sterilization and freshly laundered beds. The walls were covered in a pastel green color, as if reflecting its patient's illness on the walls. The tv played a re-run of FRIENDS, but the volume was almost non-existent, closed captioning dancing across the screen.

Beside the bed sat a small table, a small clipboard of notes lay across it, and a pen scribbled against the paper before the hands were returning to Luke's face. Y/n's hands floated before Luke's eyes, her soft voice telling him to follow her fingers before she was nodding with a smile, scribbling down something else.

With a lopsided grin, the man was speaking again. "How am I doin', Doc? Are you gonna need to amputate?"

From the minute Luke had been wheeled into your examination room, the man hadn't quite stopped looking at you like that. The way he looked at you made you blush, which was rather juvenile and not entirely something you would admit aloud, but true all the same. He looked at you as if you were wearing designer clothing rather than the two day old scrubs you had on. The scrubs you hadn't had time to launder because you had been working for thirty four hours straight, ones that had a stain on the sleeve that you weren't entirely sure what it was from.

Your hair had been thrown into a messy bun, the fast paced environment not giving you time to do anything fancy. And your makeup- well, you weren't wearing any.

But still, he looked at you as if he couldn't quite take his eyes off you. And it wasn't in the creepy, stalker way you had experienced men doing so before. No, because Luke was different. Just the man's demeanor told you so. The way he talked, voice slow and steady (maybe that was just the pain meds), or the way his eyes, two pools of melted chocolate, reassured you that being around him was probably the safest you'd ever be. You didn't need to see his badge on his hip to know that.

At the man's words, you let out a chuckle, clicking your tongue and sliding your pen back into your pocket. "I don't believe we'll be needing any amputations today, but keep landing on the wrong end of a hammer and we might have a different story."

Turning to the large group walking into the room, you smiled warmly. They were a large bunch, the jackets they adorned matching the one Luke had worn before he had been forced to change into a hospital gown. 'FBI' the breast pocket read. Briefly, you wondered what they did, but realized it didn't quite matter. They were here because they needed you to do your job, not to learn about theirs.

Patting Luke on the shoulder to indicate he could sit back, you grabbed your chart, going to stand near the team. They stood adjacent to Luke, and the small room allowed everyone to be in talking distance.

"I'm assuming you're the family? I'm Doctor Y/F/N Y/L/N, head of Neuro." Your easy smile was enough to release the tension from the team. Seeing Luke crumple the way he had made them worry, but the bright smile on your face reassured them.

"When he came in, the wound was looking a bit nasty." They listened intently while you talked and they didn't seem to miss the way Luke's eyes never quite left you as you spoke. "The swelling went down with some cream, and we took a CT to clear him of anything internal. Now, there was a small hemorrhage-" You watched as the team's eyebrows furrowed in concern, and you brought you hands out, a gesture for them to calm. "But his symptoms were small. Once we got the scan we saw that the bleed was tiny. Most bleeds will actually resolve themselves, so no need for me to go in where I'm not needed."

"Doc, you're welcome in my brain any day." Luke smiled cheekily, and your lips quirked, eyes narrowing playfully.

"I'm who you call when you need the big guns, you don't want me in your brain, Agent Alvez." His lips twitched when his last name rolled off your tongue and you would be lying if you hadn't gained the tiniest bit of satisfaction at the reaction.

He clicked his tongue, playfully grabbing his chest. "How you wound me. We went over this, it's Luke." He corrected, and he realized how desperately he needed you to say his name. He needed to say his name whether you were angry or sad or happy or excited. He needed you to say anything at all to him because your voice was something he hadn't even realized he needed until he heard it and now that he had he wasn't sure he would be able to live without it.

His actions made you chuckle, shaking your head at his antics. "Alright, Luke," You conceded, going to hang back up the man's medical chart on the bed. The nurses would take over from here, the former ranger only needing to be discharged after the rest if the pain meds wore off. The ones you had given him weren't too strong anyways, it wouldn't take much longer. "Try not to piss off anymore toolboxes, your head isn't as hard as you think it is."

The man smiled and just the sheer brightness of it made you suck in a breath. "I don't know, the screwdrivers in my shed were giving me a funny look the other day, I may have to teach them a lesson." He quipped smoothly and you rolled your eyes despite the large grin that grew on your features.

When you turned back to the door, the large group of agents seemed to be split between giving knowing smirks to Luke and impish looks to you. A certain blonde adorned in extremely bright colors seemed to want to interject, but the only other blonde clasped her hand onto the woman's shoulder tightly, stopping her from whatever she was going to say.

"I suggest that he doesn't go in the field for at least three days, and I would like to see him in a week for a precautionary scan to check and see if the bleed resolved itself. Other than that, he's good to go. If you all have anymore questions feel free to ask Nurse Cassidy, she'll be in in just a moment to help you with discharge paperwork and medical prescriptions."

They nodded and, before they could respond, your pager was chirping, signaling the need for your presence elsewhere. Your hand grabbed at the pager clipped onto your waistline, eyes scanning the message before your eyes were flickering back to the agents.

"Duty calls. It was nice meeting you all." You gave a final nod, moving to leave the room, but just as you were about to exit a voice stopped you.

"Hey, Doc!" Luke called out, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You turned, one hand gripping the doorway as your head peeked out from the side. You hummed in response, eyebrows furrowing.

"See you next week!"

Maybe it was childish, or unprofessional, or wildly inappropriate. Perhaps it was the fact that you were sleep deprived, hungry, and running on fumes, or maybe it was just the charming nature of the Alvez man, a gravitational pull toward the comfort he naturally exuded, but you found yourself smiling widely, a pink tint covering your cheeks.

"See you next week." You nodded in confirmation, leaving before you could say anything else.

#luke alvez x reader #luke alvez #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds x reader #Criminal Minds #Spencer Reid fic

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pipedream-parrish · 4 years ago

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Happy 34th birthday, Twinyards

read on AO3

It is Aaron’s 14th birthday and he has just found out that he has a brother - a twin brother, an identical twin brother, who looks exactly like him and might just understand him, too. His mom didn’t do anything for his birthday - she hasn’t since he was little, or maybe those long-forgotten memories were really just dreams that have managed to worm their way so deep into his psyche that he’s accepted them as truth. The kids at school sang to him, which was fine, but Aaron can’t help but think maybe now it will be different. Maybe once he meets this brother of his, then they can celebrate their birthdays together. Maybe they can give each other presents, and eat cake, and blow out the candles using the combined forces of their breath. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

(Andrew spends this birthday choking down cake that Cas got him, trying to hide the fresh marks on his arm, and thinking about the best way to keep his mysterious brother as far away from him as possible)

((one month later, Aaron receives a letter in the mail. He couldn’t tell you everything it said - he just knows that all of these maybes have just been thrown into the middle of a busy highway to be crushed under uncaring tires.))

Its Aaron’s 15th birthday and his mother has celebrated by beating the shit out of him and then throwing a random assortment of pills from the bottom of her purse in his direction as an apology, and Aaron cannot help but think that maybe it won’t have to be like this anymore. He thinks about what Andrew said (Andrew, who really does look just like him, and who seemed so angry about Tilda, and seemed to believe that Aaron didn’t deserve, that he deserved good things--) had said to him, thinks about how maybe when Andrew moves his mom will stop it, maybe it’ll be alright, maybe nothing will hurt anymore and everything will be okay and he’ll have a brother. It’ll be the two of them against the world, and Aaron may not know this other boy all that well, but he promised to protect him, so that must mean something, right? Even if before that he said he didn’t want anything to do with Aaron, he changed his mind, and thats what matters, right? Right? And so when Aaron blows out the birthday candles that he bought for himself at eh convenience store the night before, he wishes for his brother to come home soon, and for them to be a family like they were supposed to be. Like he deserves.

((Six months later, Tilda is dead and Aaron has stopped believing in family.))

iii

It is Andrews’s 16th birthday and he has not spoken more than two words to his brother for most of the year, but Nicky tries to force them to do something, to celebrate, to be normal teenagers for once. Andrew leaves halfway through the elaborate dinner that Nicky has prepared, and pretends not to see the sad look he aims at his retreating back. Pretends that he doesn’t care what Nicky thinks of him, what Aarons thinks of him. Pretends that he stopped caring about Cass, that actually he didn’t care about that, either. Pretends and pretends and pretends, and convinces everyone but himself.

((He’s not so great at lying to himself yet. He’ll get better with age.))

Late that night, after he’s heard everyone else going to bed, he sneaks downstairs and steals a slice of the double-chocolate cake that Nicky got them. There are already a couple of slices out from where Nicky and Aaron had some, so hopefully, this moment of weakness will go unnoticed.

(Aaron spends his 16th birthday sad and mourning, refusing to look his brother in the eye. When he blows out the birthday candles with no help from a magical brother, he wishes that he never met Andrew in the first place. Not that he believes in magic or wishes or anything good at all, anymore. He barely has a bite of his cake before leaving the table. He, too, pretends not to see Nicky’s teary eyes as he leaves him standing alone in the kitchen, the remnants of a wasted attempt at love scattered all around him)

((he, too, is not so great at lying to himself yet. He, too, will get better with age))

(Nevertheless, when he hears Andrew come downstairs in the dead of night, he creeps into the hallway to watch his petty theft)

((He never mentions it.))

It is Andrew’s 17th birthday and he is so high off the ground that he never even realizes the date.

Or maybe he does and just forgets.

The meds are still new, and he’s not used to them yet. Not used to the loudness, and brightness, and plastered on a smile. His cheeks hurt all the time now - he is constantly working muscles that have not had much use, the last couple of years

(the last couple of lifetimes)

Needless to say, it is Andrew’s 17th birthday and he does not even realize it, and instead, he spends it in his room, his precious room that has a lock that works, coming apart at all his frying edges. Boys like him were never meant to grow old. Boys like him were never meant to last. And so he lays there and shakes uncontrollably, and laughs, too, tells himself this is fine, he’s fine it’s all fine and knows better than to believes it. Perhaps it is a mercy, that he eventually gets used to the meds.

Perhaps it is not.

(Aaron doesn’t celebrate his birthday, either. Instead, he picks up extra shifts at Edens and goes to bed early.

He cannot wait to leave this fucking house)

It is Aaron’s 18th birthday, meaning that he is a legal adult. He finds this funny. He has always been an adult; he was an adult when he was four and creeping across the house on silent feet to steal crackers from the pantry because mom forgot to feed him; he was an adult when he was 10 and forging his mothers signature on school papers, and making excuses for why she couldn’t come into parent-teacher conference night; he was an adult when he was sitting across from his reflection in a juvenile detention facility, and promised protection. One more birthday doesn’t mean shit.

(Andrew agrees. He, too, has been an adult for as long as he can remember.)

((Still, when Nicky slips cards under each of their doors wishing them a happy birthday and telling them he’s proud of them, and that he hopes that adulthood treats them right, well. If Aaron squeezes his eyes shut as hard as he can to prevent the tears from escaping, and if Andrew tares it up into a million pieces because it almost makes him feel something, then no one needs to know))

It is November 4th, and the newly-coined monsters are in Columbia, just like they are most weekends. They make the same stops as always, go to the same club, the same restaurant.

Never once is the word birthday mentioned.

vii

It is Andrew’s 20th birthday and he is about to make one of the worst mistakes of his life. For now, he sits against the windowsill, watching his smoke dissipate into the afternoon air, absently listening to the sounds of Nicky and Aaron’s video game wash over him. He’s grinning, as is usually is these days, and if he was capable of having a long-lasting coherent thought, he would want to carve that grin off his face.

Alas, he is not capable of long-lasting coherent thought. Oh well. Perhaps it’s for the best.

Renee got him a gift. Silly Renee. Always so nice, so kind, even to monsters like him. Hasn’t she learned better than that by now? It seems not.

When Nicky receives a phone call that leaves him in a panic, it is almost enough to garner Andrew’s attention.

Almost.

When he leaves the room in a rush only to come beach with Neil, the enigma, the hallucination, the rabbit, in tow behind him, Andrew actually does start to pay attention. Only a little though.

When Neil pulls him aside, and asks for the unimaginable, and then manages to make it seem like a good idea, well. Andrew’s interest has been peaked, and he agrees. Why not? It might be fun. Might be, might be, might be.

(It’s not. It’s not fun at all, and if nothing else then Andrew is finally allowed to leave that smile behind for good. Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear Andrew, happy birthday to me!)

((Aaron spends his birthday playing video games and wondering why the new kid holds such sway over his brother. When he looks back on that day, he will not remember any of that. He will only remember that that was the day everything went wrong, and he was unable to fix it.))

viii

It is Andrew’s 21st birthday, and it might just be a good one. No alarm wakes him up in the morning, even though he’s sure he set it last night, meaning he gets to sleep in. When he wakes up it’s to Neil bustling about the dorm room, clearly searching for something.

“Practice?” Andrew asks and is told in no uncertain terms that they will be blowing it off for the day. Yes, today is shaping up to be a good one.

Instead, they go out driving, blazing down empty roads as fast as the mas will take them, eating up millage and gas money and caring at all. Neil rolls down the window and lets out victorious whoops into the still afternoon, the wind flushing his cheeks and tousling his hair. Andrew almost thinks something disgustingly sappy about that but is able to rain in his own brain just in time.

They got greasy diner food for lunch, and Andrew orders a massive ice cream Sunday that Neil doesn’t comment on. They go back to Fox Tower and lounge around their dorm, kissing and smoking and playing video games. They have pancakes for dinner, and Kevin doesn’t bother them once about going to tonight’s practice. Andrew goes to bed full and sated, and almost, almost, happy. It’s a good birthday.

((the next day at therapy, Aaron complains that he didn’t get to skip practice yesterday. Andrew shrugs and says that he should take notes for next year. It’s almost an invitation. Almost, but not quite.))

It is Aarons’s 22nd birthday, and he takes a leaf out of Andrew’s book and skips practice. He and Katelyn drive into town, and walk up and down the streets, popping into stores at random and picking out delightfully ugly things for the other to buy. In one shop, Katelyn shows Aaron a shirt made from a disgusting green fabric with the gaudiest floral pattern he’s ever seen. In another, Aaron finds shimmering, sparkle filled pink and purple shoes with a six-inch heel. They both nearly get sick from laughing. That night, they go out to the fanciest restaurant they can afford and get wine drunk. Aaron tells Katelyn that he loves her, which is something that he’s told her a million times before, but that doesn’t stop it from mattering. This will always matter. She will always matter. He looks at her, just looks at her, and thinks about how lucky he is to have this. And he thinks about Andrew, just for a second, curses him for keeping her from Aaron. But then, for an even shorter second, the thought occurs to him. I hope he’s as happy right now with Neil as I am with her.

((Andrew may not show it the same way, but he is. He is.))

It is their 25 birthday now (which it longer than either of them thought they would live), and after years of therapy and working through their issues, Aaron has decided once again that he wants a brother. And so he books a flight to Boston, and buys a ticket to Andrews game, and watches his brother play exy on their birthday. Their birthday. Sometimes he still forgets that they are a “they” now. He'll still say my birthday, my mom, my cousin, my family. But it's not just his, and so he meets Andrew at the player’s exit after the game and forces him to go to dinner with him. And they spend their birthday together, just the two of them, for the first time since they were born. And its-

Well, it’s not bad. It's kind of nice, actually. Stilted, at first, and undoubtedly awkward, but.

But they’re still brothers, even after everything. They share family and history and most of their DNA, so it seems right that they also share a dinner. And they talk, about Andrew’s pro team and Aarons residency, and about halfway through Aaron realizes that even though he was the one who forced this, Andrew isn’t trying to stop it. He came with him to dinner, and he’s talked more in the last hour then Aaron thinks he ever has before, and Aaron realizes that he wants this too. Andrew wants a brother too. They part ways outside - Andrew doesn’t offer to drive him back to his hotel or to let him stay at his apartment, but that’s ok.

Because Andrew wants this too.

Andrew wants this too.

epilogue

It is the Minyard twins’ 34th birthday, and as has become a tradition they are each awoken by a phone call from Nicky. Aaron only grumbles for a moment before Katelyn is handing his phone to him and he’s picking up. Andrew takes longer, turning over and burying his face in Neil’s neck for a second or a minute or a year, before finally grabbing his phone. To be fair, it’s about 2 hours earlier for him than for his brother. When he was younger he would hang up, and Nicky would call back, and he’d hang up again, until around the third call when he would finally give in and answer and phone. He doesn’t hang up anymore. He supposes that he’s grown. It’s a facetime call, so he’s greeted with Nicky’s over-enthusiastic smile and Aarons bedhead that looks so much like his own. He props himself up on some pillows so that he’s nearly in a sitting position, and gives a halfhearted wave. Beside him, Neil stays lying down, curling himself into Andrew’s side. Andrew absently starts carding his fingers through his hair. Nicky starts to talk, telling them about the business, and the adoption process, and the cute thing that his and Erik’s dog did. King jumps up onto Andrew’s chest, and then there’s a lot of cooing over how cute she is. She starts to lick at Andrew’s temple, which makes everyone laugh and Andrew rolls his eyes. It’s ok. He doesn’t really mind. Aaron talks about the hospital, and then his toddler (who is really more of a kid now, she’s getting so big holy shit) bursts into the room, climbing up onto the bed. She says hi to her Uncle Andy (Neil taught her to say that when she was a baby, and it tuck. Again, Andrew doesn’t really mind) and Uncle Neil, and her cousins Nicky and Erik. they talk more, Andrew waking up and partaking in the conversion, occasionally mouthing things to Neil in Russian to make him laugh. He loves it when Neil laughs (he’s not so concerned with not thinking sappy things anymore).

It’s a good start to a good day. They order take out and eat it on the floor, just like they do every year. Neil gets him a cake, and he sings happy birthday, just like they do every year.

A plane ride away, Aaron and Katelyn hire a babysitter and go out to dinner, just like they do every year. Katelyn gets him a loudly collared tie, just like she does every year.

It’s a good day for both boys (who are now much closer to men), but more than that, it is a good day for both brothers. For that is undoubtedly what they are now. Brothers.

That night, they both get a text from Betsy. It says Happy birthday, my lovely boys. I hope this year treats you well.

And then it does.

It does.

thanks for reading! if you reblog i’ll love you forever :)

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oneeye-onthesky · 3 years ago

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Hey Old Friend

Do you know why she screamed?

I remember. I remember everything, even if you don’t. Even if you chose to forget, like a coward. I remember how dark it was. How empty, and cold, and silent. I remember. I won’t forget. Not ever.

The silence was the worst part. It got into everything, poisoning it, like a plague of rats hunting for a bit of cheese, raging through the house after a single scent. It hurt. It ripped everything away. Swallowed it. Every sound from a shriek to a breath. Gone, hidden in its belly.

There was nothing to do there. Nothing to do but wait, in the silence and the pervasive fear. You couldn’t eat, although there was food. Couldn’t drink, although there was water. It all tasted like ashes. Like the ashes of the dead.

They say I’m crazy, do you know that? They’re telling me I’m insane, that I imagined it, every moment of it. I’m not though. They’re the crazy ones, not me. It was real. I know it was.

You would know too if you weren’t such a bloody coward. You could have saved me. Just one word from you and I would’ve been fine. All you had to tell them was that it was true. That it was real. That you saw it too.

But you didn’t and now I’m here, in the madhouse, with all the freaking crazies. It’s your fault. I wouldn’t be here if not for you. I hate you. You know that? I hate the goddamn hell out of you.

They scream here too you know. At night, I mean. During the day, there’s always someone to make them be quiet. The nurses in their pretty white outfits, all acting like they care. They usually shut them up pretty quick. But not at night. At night, you can hear them, wailing like they’re losing their minds.

Not that they haven’t already.

It’s driving me to distraction. I’ll probably join them sometime soon, with these goddamn white walls closing in on me like they want to eat me. Bet you’d like that. Me finally gone for good, just another screamer inside the looneybin, never to be heard from again. You’ve always been cold like that.

Wait. Wait. I’ve gone off-track haven’t I? This wasn’t what I was talking about. That stupid doctor distracted me, with those stupid meds they stuff me with at every opportunity. What was I talking about?

Ah yes. It was back then wasn’t it. The good old days. Do you know, I miss them a bit, now that I think about it. At least they were honest about what they were playing at with us. Not like these guys with their plastic smiles, like they think we’re too crazy to see through them. At least they were honest.

Do you really not remember a thing? I know you said you didn’t but… really? How could you forget? How? I don’t understand. It was…everything. The house, the cold, the pain… how could you just forget like that? Is it just a gap in your memory, like amnesia? Or did they fill your mind up with fake memories, like they did the other girl? Amanda, or whatever her name was. The one who got taken away.

I heard you got married soon after it ended. Did they fill your mind with memories of you meeting her? Is your wife one of them? What did they do to you?

Whatever. You chose this. You chose them over me. You deserve whatever it is you got. I hope it hurt.

…Wait I’m still off-track. I was talking about the food wasn’t I? What are you eating these days? Home-cooked stuff I suppose. Your wife’s a good cook isn’t she? I bet it’s nothing like what we used to eat back then. That food was good too, you know. Not the best, but not the worst either. Filled your stomach didn’t it? Better than nothing. Better than the ones who didn’t get to eat anything at all. You remember that at least? Remember the way they starved until they realized the only food they had to eat was each other?

It was kind of funny, looking back. The way they all started out, proclaiming that they were best friends and would never hurt each other and then ended up tearing each other to pieces with their teeth? Blood everywhere. The whole room dripped with it. Stank to high heaven too.

I remember, at one point one of them literally started scooping out someone else’s brain with their bare hands and then just shoved it in their mouth. So much for best friends.

The doctor’s back. Hey, do you think you’ll come visit anytime soon? We can chat a bit more. Reminisce, about those good old days, you know? I can’t talk about it with these guys, they all think I dreamt it up. Idiots. Wait until it’s their turn. Then they’ll wish they’d listened when they had the chance.

Hey, I’ve really got to go. Come back okay? Let’s finish this chat. There’s so much I haven’t told you yet. So much else to talk about. I’ll make you remember everything, I promise. It’s all your fault anyway, why should I be the only one suffering? No way. If I have to hurt and hide behind these white walls and fakers, then so do you. So visit soon, okay? I’ll be waiting.

That’s me signing off-

Wait you haven’t answered my question. Do you know why she screamed?

#writing #writeblr #flash fiction #creative writer #horror #letter #cannibalism #original writing #my ocs are my children #writers of tumblr #Writerscommunity #OneEyeOnTheSky

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imonthinice · 3 years ago

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The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 9/?

Word Count: 1.7k

Author’s Note: Y/N- Your Name, A/N - Any Name (Your Best Friend’s Name)

I am sorry. lmao.

Half of my links are glitched tf out fuck this shit, touched grass yesterday but that grind don’t fuckin stop babey

Warnings: Angst - Injury, Description of said injury, Mentions of Jason’s past, Swearing, Dark Themes, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Jason clutched his right side as he gasped for a long breath of the cold, rainy air surrounding him. Everything hurt and he could barely move enough to text Dick that he was down. He would hold and add pressure to the stab wound sitting directly on his waist, but he could feel the blood seeping through the gaps in his fingers as he held it. His hands were covered by the blood and he was losing it fast.

He wasn’t going to walk this off by any means, he was going to need Dick to go get him and bring him back to the hospital wing of the Batcave because he couldn’t move and he felt his eyes drooping as he waiting and tried to keep his breathing in check, while Dick was scrambling to go get him.

There would be a few questions he would have to answer to Y/N. Not even just Y/N, to Lian, his Goddaughter, who he was planning on seeing in the morning since Y/N was going to a dance competition, or at least he thought she was.

But in that moment, so many memories flew back into his head, the hopelessness as he sat there for a few seconds, bleeding out after the explosion that Joker had set off on him. And then the minutes in the Lazarus Pit as he drowned himself back to life, the water filling his lungs as he cried and screamed. But no one came.

This time, however, Dick came.

Dick swooped his baby brother up and onto his back and he tried to run to the Batmobile as fast as he could, knowing time was of the essence for saving Jason’s life. Jason had broke off from Dick for a few seconds before this moment, and it was the only thing Dick was worried about. That Dick had said to come back to him, alive.

In the car, Dick put his hands on Jason's gaping wound, trying to press his hands into it as well to slow the bleeding, the Batmobile had the ability to drive itself, and Dick thanked whatever God was watching that it did. Jason was struggling for breath at this moment, and Dick was terrified.

“You’re going to be oaky, Jase. I swear. Please. Don’t die on me, it feels like yesterday that I got you back,” he leaned into Jason’s face, “Not again, please,” Dick begged and begged as he rushed Jason to Alfred, who was waiting to operate on Jason.

--------------------------------------------

Y/N woke up as always, this time, without a text from Jason. She thought nothing of it, thinking he was safe in his house with his loving family. She went to go get coffee to kick start her day, and A/N wasn’t in the kitchen. She, still, thought nothing of it, since A/N’s lover was over the night before and she had to turn up her music to ignore the sounds coming from the other side of the house. She sent Jason a quick text,

Good morning, Jay. I hope you slept well.

And she returned to her room, coffee in hand, to write some quick little stories about what she had placed in her journal. Not many of the ideas in there were able to be built off of, but she still tried her best with every idea she had, to see if it could be something more.

It normally never was, but it was always something she craved. The ideas of writing a book always enticed her, but she never thought she was talented enough to do so.

She heard her roommate’s door open and then the front door as A/N waved off her lover. It was a quiet Saturday morning, and Y/N loved that as she dove further and further into her work, immersing herself in the story of two lovers who were destined to meet after one moved to the hometown of the other to pursue criminal psychology.

She couldn’t get her mind off of Jason. They hadn’t even known each other for a week but she knew he was worth her time. A few hours passed by from when she sent the first text.

---------------------------------------------

Dick held Jason’s hand as he was hooked up to many different machines, he could breathe on his own, but the IV and the blood bags were hard to keep Dick’s eyes off of. If only I had been watching a little closer, he thought.

Jason fumbled in his pain-induced sleep, moaning and groaning as he did so when he opened his eyes to find a worried, sleep-deprived and very rough-looking Dick at his bedside, to which, Dick collapsed on Jason in a hug.

“Thank God,” Dick breathed.

“What... what the fuck.... what the fuck happened?” Jason stuttered, like a blanket of sleep and drugs had limited his mobility and brain function.

“I don’t know, Jase. That’s what I was hoping you’d tell me, but then again, your blood alcohol level was suspicious.”

“I... I didn’t drink... drink that much.”

“No, you didn’t. But you did drink, who was with you?”

“I don’t... know.”

“I think you were roofied so they could get the upper hand on you. You almost died, Jase.”

“Come...c’mere,” Jason managed to say, and when Dick came to him, he moved on of his hands onto Dick’s cheek, “Big... big annoying... big little annoying brother.”

“Shhhhhh, little wing,” Dick comforted his little brother, “You weren’t supposed to grow that much taller than me,” he laughed, “Dickhead,” he laughed again, then sighed, and stepped back from Jason to pace back and forth, he was stressed, “I told Roy-”

“Will.”

“Will, sorry. I told Will that you won’t be able to see Lian today, he asked what happened, he might drop by.”

“He should... shouldn’t have to... see me this... this way,” Jason said, eyes pooling with tears, “No one... should.”

“Don’t know how we’re going to explain this to your little girlfriend.”

“Oh... Man... I like... I like her.”

“I know you do, and that’s an issue when you’re high as a kite in a hospital bed, bleeding out, Jase,” Dick tried to explain, “Especially when she doesn’t know you’re Red Hood, dumbass.”

“Oh,” he said.

“I know, Jase. If it was me and Barbara didn’t know, I wouldn’t know what to do,” he sighed, “Haven’t even met this girl,” he laughed.

“It’s... it’s only been... 5 days,” he stuttered.

“and 3 back-to-back, multiple hour, spanning days, worth of dates. You don’t do that with someone you don’t think should meet your family.”

“You’re... stubborn.”

“And you’re my brother. It doesn’t take blood to exhibit the same traits.”

“The meds... are... are wearing off.”

“Do you need more?”

“Not... yet,” he struggled with his words, “Phone?”

“I mean, yeah I can give you your phone,” Dick said as he went to go unplug and hand Jason his phone, realizing that Y/N had texted Jason he said, “Guess you have someone who wants to know where you are more than Will does.”

“Will cares,” Jason said as he took the phone and read Y/N’s text,

I guess it isn’t morning anymore, huh.

Well that’s on me for texting you at 6 in the morning after I know you’ve been working late.

And I’m going to see my Goddaughter today, so I’ve been sleeping in to preserve energy for her.

Can’t forget that she’s what, 1 year old? Girl must have a lot of energy.

Her name’s Lian, and yeah. She’s a ball of energy.

He said as Lian and her dad, Will, formerly known as Roy, walked into the hospital wing of the Batcave. The secret wasn’t hidden to the little girl yet because she couldn’t remember a lot. But, she sure did recognize her Uncle Jay when she screamed her name.

Will brought his daughter up and put her beside her Uncle, and she cuddled into him, he would hold her back.

“Hey... Will.”

“You look like shit, Jaybird.”

“I feel... feel like shit.”

“You’re also talking slow, bud.”

“Drugs... do that... Will.”

“At least you’re not dead, I have no idea how I’d cope or even explain that to Lian.”

“She... she has your... eyes.”

“She’s growing into my nose too.”

“Your nose... looks like shit... on your face.”

“Okay, dickhead. You’re bedridden but yeah, attack me like you used to, I’ll just pull the plug.”

“Lian... would hate you... you for that,” he groaned as he said it.

“Do you need more drugs? I can tell Dick,” Will asked.

“Yeah... I think-”

“Don’t worry about finishing that, Jaybird. I got you.”

------------------------------------------------------

The wet ground surrounding the house Y/N lived in was a representation of what she considered, the bad things, washing away from her life as she got to know Jason more. She wished they could talk more that day, but she did not want to take away time from him and his Goddaughter. Family matters a lot to Y/N, so a thought like that just seemed selfish for her to think when she knew that little girl needed him.

She didn’t think he got injured or anything from the Office, it was a safer place than the fuckin Wayne Manor hallways. She texted Artemis,

So, you’re Wally’s girlfriend, and Wally is Dick’s best friend? Am I hearing you right?

That’s basically the intertwine we have here, yes.

So once you’re in this family, you’re IN, huh?

Nervous?

Not a chance.

The thrill of flipping off pap hasn’t left you yet?

Does everyone know about that? And yes, it’s still massively fun to do.

Wally says Dick is the only one who doesn’t think its that funny.

Lame.

C’mon now, that’s my best friend, but yeah, that’s pretty fucking lame.

You’re the fun best friend, then. You see the fun in making a fool of the pap.

You know it.

Artemis knew of what happened on patrol between Jason and his unknown attacker. Dick had told Artemis to distract Y/N from wondering why Jason seemed drunk, if he seemed drunk. The extents they went to to hide the fact that they were the vigilantes protecting the city, they didn’t know if she was going to be able to keep the secret.

Jason would talk to her after that message,

That storm last night was terrible.

I wish that we were together when it happened. I hate lightning.

Well, you were in Cali.

Did I not tell you? My competition was cancelled because the entire country is fucked with weather.

Oh. That sucks.

Do you want to spend the night here?

---------------------------------------

Do you want to spend the night here?

Jason stared at that text for a while. He did, he wanted to spend the night with her, but he was in pain, hooked to machines, with obvious wounds and bandages. He couldn’t spend the night with her.

I can’t. I’m in Metropolis with Will and Lian. Can we reschedule?

Of course we can. As long as you make sure we actually get to spend the night together.

He asked Dick in that moment, “How... how long... long til I heal?”

“Depends. You’ll be okay-ish in 5 days, but in 7-10 we have to take out your stitches if you’ve been taking care of them,” he said.

“That... that long? Damn.”

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idontmeantosoundrudebut · 4 years ago

Text

This is Home (stupid Eretlout oneshot)

Oh hello it is currently 4 am and I've just finished this impulse one-shot about Modern Eretlout haha lol bruh! It's set in Britain by the way, because I'm British and I love my British culture lol! This hasn't been edited by the way so... yeah, it's really bad in my opinion but I need to post some writing because yeah! I'm actually currently working on a long Eretlout fic but I have no idea when/if it'll be finished so haha lol bruh awkward! Oh yeah, warning of abuse and past child abuse and only slightly steamy content, really its just making out and all that!!! haha lol bruh enjoy

=============================================================

Blood fills his mouth. It drips from his chin, pours from his head, spills from his nostrils.

He opens his red-speckled fist and a tooth lies in the scarlet pool gathered in his palm, it almost looks like gold beneath the glow of the streetlamp that slants into his car. His upper jaw throbs from where he'd yanked out the already loose tooth and he can make out the rivulets of gum-flesh still clinging onto the roots. He stares at it with an unbothered and tired expression.

"Couldn't even punch my tooth outright," He mumbles to himself, opening the glove box and chucking the tooth inside, "Had to yank it out myself,"

It makes a high-pitched clanging sound as it bounces off a half-finished bottle of Captain Morgan and then, silently, it disappears behind the several cigarette cartons that lay piled unceremoniously within (Marlboro Reds, Marlboro Golds, Caramel Blues, Regal Kingsizes, even the odd Mayfair for when he gets desperately low). He reaches a hand inside and rummages through the collection, most of them are empty at this point, he needs to restock and clean out his car, it's been a solid few months since he did that. He shakes a Caramel carton, empty. Another Caramel? Empty. Marlboro Red? Empty. Regal? Ah, lucky day, only half-empty.

A great sigh forces its way through his clogged nostrils and, with the abruptness of a cut artery, blood spatters all over his shirt and along his forearms. His hand freezes mid-air, fingers tight around the bending carton as he blinks slowly, anger simmering beneath his skin because really? Really?! He looks down at his shirt, it was ruined anyway. He'll never get the red out that white, looks like someone's just slit his throat from all the blood that's been pouring down his neck. That table-corner got him good in the head and cut a deep gash just above his eyebrow, the entire right side of his face is crimson with blood and it shimmers in the flickering lamplight.

He bites into the end of the cigarette and lights it with a silver zippo, the flame casting writhing shadows across his blood-spattered hand. The first drag is the best, the first hit to the back of his throat, the first exhale of smoke. Each heartbeat hurts a little less with a little more smoke, a little more tar, a little more death in his lungs.

Snotlout starts the car and drives away. He watches his childhood home disappear around the corner and it feels like goodbye. He can't kind it in himself to be sad about it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He parks outside of Eret's house on the edge of the path, walking up to the red door with a tidy black seven nailed on it.

"Oh Snotlout, love, you alright?" Comes a familiar voice and he looks over to see Chantel from next door, wrapped in her dressing gown with a black bin bag clutched in her hands.

Eret's house is tucked in the centre of a row of brick houses, it's the kind of street where everyone knows everyone and everyone knows everything, whether you like it or not. In the last year, Snotlout has gotten to know a lot of people (and a lot of rumours) who live along this here street.

"I'm alright, Chan," He says honestly (because he is alright, it's just a bit of blood and few bruises) and stamps the butt-end of his fifth cigarette in thirty minutes into the cracked path.

"You 'aven't been fighten' again, 'ave you? With those Trapper boys?" Chantel asks severely, a mother of four, she's very intuned to her maternal instincts and even the slightest sign of distress has them flaring up, "It better not be with those Grimborn brothers! I'm telllen' you Snotlout, those two are shady bastards and its best to stay clear of 'em-"

Snotlout lights another smoke, this one from a full carton of Marlboro Red, and spits blood and phlegm onto the grass, tongue prodding the empty socket in his jaw.

"I haven't been fighting, Chan, promise," He reassures her, and that's also true because he didn't fight back at all, it was more of a beat down, "Just a disagreement with my old man, you know how it is,"

Chantel's back straightens like she's been in the army her whole life and she crosses her arms over her chest, red hair wet and shining like blood in the moonlight. Only four of the streetlamps work and they're further down the road, so the road and paths are alight only from the horseshoe moon that hovers amongst the star-filled sky, the black-asphalt gleaming silver. They've been complaints to the council to get them all fixed, but they won't do anything, they never do, they just leave the poor to rot.

She looks like she's about to say something about it, but he shakes his head at her. Instead of telling him to call the police, she says;

"You're bleedin' like a stuck pig all over the place, Lout, people'll gonna be thinkin' that Jack the Ripper is back from the fuckin' dead," He laughs at that and he offers a straight to her, as a thanks for not making a big fuss over finding him bloodied like a murdered boy in the middle of the night, but she shakes her head.

"You're grand, love, I got a pouch this mornin', save 'em for desperate times," Chantel looks him up and down, black eyes near white in the moonlight, "You look like you're in one now,"

Snotlout agrees with her. He waves a hand to bid her goodnight and goes inside. He closes and he turns on the hallway light. The marrow-deep tension in his bones slips away, causing a breath that comes from the very bottom of his tar-clogged lungs to fall from his lips, and his hurting heart finally stops beating against his ribs like a jackhammer as he leans against the front door.

He's safe, he's home. Because this small, shoddy house with its water-stained ceilings and peeling wallpaper and creaking floorboards is home. It's simple and a little broken, but it's home.

"Snotlout?" Eret calls from upstairs, he can see the bedroom light glow up the hallway at the top of the stairs, "That you?"

"Yeah," He takes a generous drag, then exhales slowly, "It's me, sorry I'm late... Went to see my dad, after work,"

Footsteps ring across the house and Eret appears at the top of the stairs, dressed in nothing but a ratty pair of grey jogging bottoms, his terribly handsome torso bare for Snotlout and Snotlout alone to see. He grins proudly around his cigarette at the sight of those hard abbs, those firm pecs, those faint scars, those old gang tattoos. Oh, what a handsome devil he is and Snotlout caught him all on his own.

"Fuckin' Hell, Snotlout!" Eret comes charging down the stairs like a mad horse and Snotlout barely blinks when he comes over to him, large hands gracing over his oozing temple and along his bruising jaw. The touch is very much welcomed.

"What happened? Were you jumped?"

"No, I wasn't fucking jumped-"

"You've lost a tooth!"

"It's in the car, in the glove box, I'll get Gobber to stick it back on,"

"I don't think that's how it works, darlin',"

Eret drags him into the living and posts him on the black vinyl couch. Hookfang, his German Shepherd, immediately bounds over to him and rests his snout on top of Snotlout's knees, wet nose twitching and throat moving with unfurling whines and whimpers. He pets him affectionally between his ears, humming lowly to Hookfang to help ease the old war-vet. Eret goes to snatch the half-smoked cigarette from his fingers, but Snotlout's reflexes are too fast.

"Hey! I'm not done, asshole,"

"Not smokin' in the house is your rule, not mine, I'm just helpin' you out,"

"Fuck that rule, just for tonight, fuck it,"

With a rich laugh, Eret saunters into the kitchen to get the med-kit. But Snotlout saw the concern and anxiety in those dark, earthy eyes and he heard it too in that laugh, it was a little shaky at the end. Hookfang barks at him.

"Easy Hookfang, I'm okay," He barks again, louder, black eyes glistening with fear, "I know pal, there's a lot of blood, but it's okay, I'm okay, soldier," He ruffles the War-dog's neck lovingly, trying to ease Hookfang's unnerved mood and distract him from the blood. It probably brings back bad memories for him.

Eret comes back with the med-kit tucked beneath his armpit and a large bowl of water cradled in his hands. He set it on the coffee table and politely nudges Hookfang out of the way, the Shepherd in turn leaps onto the couch and curls dutifully at Snotlout's side. Such a loyal friend, Snotlout doesn't deserve something as honourable as Hookfang's fidelity.

"Look like a stuck pig," Eret whisper, running a wet dishtowel along the drying river of blood that pours down his face and throat.

"Ha, Chantel said the exact same thing," He chuckles lowly, watching rivulets of watery blood travel down Eret's powerful forearms as he sponges at the blood along his cheek.

"Chantel?" He queries, eyes briefly flickering to meet his.

"Yeah, caught outside just as I was coming in," Snotlout closes his eyes as he lifts his chin so Eret can easily swipe the already stained towel down his throat. It leaves a funny tightness in his gut and a nice shiver ghosts up his spine at the vulnerable display.

"Well, expect the whole street to know by lunchtime tomorrow," Eret replies, then adds, "I mean, I love Chantel to pieces, but by God, she gossips like there is no tomorrow,"

Snotlout nods in agreement, smoking his cigarette and tapping the ash into an ashtray that's always kept on the coffee table, despite his own rule of no smoking in the house. But he's never been good at keeping to the rules, even his own ones. Eret wipes away the twin-tracks of maroon streaking from his nose and begins to wrap the gash above his eyebrow up.

"We'll go to the doctor tomorrow mornin', yeah? Think you might need stitches,"

"Cool," Is his reply, tired and uninterested.

All the blood is finally cleared from his skin. The towel is scarlet. The bowl on the table is no longer a bowl of water, but a bowl of blood. A swathe of bandages is wrapped around his head like a bandana, but there hasn't been any bleed through for a few minutes so Eret looks satisfied (and rather proud) at his nursing work.

After a moment, Snotlout flicks his finished fag into the ashtray and stares into Eret's dark eyes; he's very tired.

"Thanks for patching me up, babe," Snotlout says quietly, not because he doesn't mean it but because he is full of such a sudden exhaustion that it feels well overdue. His head, his brain, needs a good rest or else he's going to start screaming.

"No problem," Eret soothes his large hands up and down Snotlout's thighs, "Now, are you going to tell me what happened?"

Snotlout sighs, big and heavy, hand settling on the nape of Hookfang's neck and running through the dense fur. His heart shudders, his lung quiver, his blood boils, his body doesn't like any of this. Just get it over with, as he did with his dad.

"I told my dad about us. About me... you know, liking guys and all-"

"And he did this to you?" Eret's voice goes low, like a growl of an animal with its teeth bared. Snotlout would be lying if he said it didn't turn him on a bit. Thick fingers curl protectively around his thighs.

"Eret, don't get yourself all riled up about it, okay? It's done. I knew he'd react like this, it's not the first time he's punched me around and called me a faggot, just this time, he actually had a reason to call me one,"

"Yeah, well, it may not have been his first time but it sure as fuck is his last, do you understand?" Eret snarls vehemently, hands moving from his thighs to his hips and sides, Snotlout doesn't even flinch when he accidentally brushes against a forming bruise, "You are never going near him again, Lout, I won't let you be hurt by scum like that,"

Eret's eyes burn. Dark soil and spitting embers in furrowed sockets. The firm frown on his face and the clenching muscles in his jaw, grinding teeth that thirst for a hating man's blood. It's making Snotlout's throat go dry.

"You're hot when you're angry, have I told you that before?" He says lowly and Eret looks at him, vengefulness fading as he takes note of the wanton look in those pale eyes.

"You may have mentioned it once or twice,"

They breathe on each other's lips, tempting, waiting for the first one to move. Hookfang books it upstairs, sensing the heady change in the air.

Eret pushes Snotlout back onto the couch and crawls carefully over him, their lips immediately locking in a wet and obscene kiss that stretches on and on forever. Snotlout moans as Eret forces his tongue down his throat, golden hands skimming beneath his shirt and touching the tender flesh beneath in a skilled and teasing way that drives him mad. They make out for a while, dominating each other's mouths with vigour and gusto till their breathless and sweating.

The bloodied shirt is pulled over his head and Eret stills above him when he sees the black and blue bruises that bloom along his ribs and chest and stomach, even Snotlout gazes at them with morbid curiously. Fuck, his dad got him more than he realised. Not that it matters.

"I'll kill him, Snotlout, I'll kill him," Eret promises in a snarling growl and Snotlout wraps his arms around his shoulders, drawing him down so he can mumble against his lips;

"I know, but fuck me first,"

Of course, Eret complies.

Later, tangled in a mass of sweaty limbs and exhausted desires, Snotlout knows that he'll be okay. With his head on Eret's chest, he closes his eyes and sleeps because he's home, home has always been in those dark eyes, in those large hands, in those warm arms. Home has always been here.

Eret, a wanderer for most of his life, a lost man at sea who was bound for dirty work, has finally found a place to set loose his anchor. Snotlout is home, is the harbour he'll always be homebound to. He'll protect his Snotlout because who is he but a wanderer without his home.

#snotlout whump #Snotlout #eret son of eret #eretlout #fanfic #httyd fanfiction #this is crack

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justanotherwriter-fangirl · 5 years ago

Text

He´s My Son (K. S.)

Words: 4,420 words

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, gangs, drugs and cheating, a little bit of violence and a couple curse words but overall I think it’s friendly.

Request: Can you write a imagine where kelly's girlfriend has Aiden her 5 years old son and kelly's been his father figure since he was two and then the reader's ex comes back and wants to be in Aiden's life and go to the firehouse where kelly is with Aiden to take the little boy with him because the reader doesn't want him in his life because he is involved with gangs and drugs so kelly tells him that Aiden is his son and that he won't take him and all 51 support him? You finished, please...

A/N: Hi!!! I’m so happy with how this turned out, hope you all enjoy it and like it as much as I do so let me know how you feel about it.

Gif obtained from Google. All credits to its owner.

Thanks for reading

_______________________

Life had never been easy with you, leaving your home in a small town at age 17 to ran away from a place where nothing ever happened, arriving to the big city of Chicago where you didn’t know anyone with barely any money, looking for a job as a waitress to afford the expenses of your new life and last but not least, meeting the man who would later turn into your worst nightmare.

Once you arrived to Chicago and settled in a little apartment you could barely afford, you decided to enroll in Chicago’s Community College to become a nurse, it had been hard with a lot of double shifts at weekends and many many nights awake studying but finally you did it and got a nice job at Gaffney Chicago Medical Center, that’s where you met the person who you thought you would spend the rest of your life with, Ryan.

He had entered to the ED after a motorcycle accident and you immediately felt attracted to him, it was crazy, he was your patient and there was more important things to think of, like taking care of his multiple wounds, mostly cuts and scratches, but still, you couldn’t fell for a patient, that was basic.

But life’s funny like that so after Will cleared him off to leave the hospital, he asked you out, you tried to refuse even when you didn’t really want to saying that he was a patient and it was wrong, but he insisted, he wasn’t a patient anymore, he had just been released, so with that argument and a little flattering of his part, you agreed to go out with him.

One date turned into two and then three and without realising it suddenly 2 years had passed by and you were moving together. You loved him, you really did and that was the main reason why you stayed with him, even after learning that he was part of a gang on the southside of the city and his day job was selling drugs, yes it was bad but he had always been so good to you.

A year later and things started to change, every cell in your body often told you to run away from that guy, that he was bad news and he was going to get you killed someday but your heart couldn’t bare the idea of leaving him. You had passed many sleepless night trying to figure out what to do, always trying to convince yourself to leave but you couldn’t, you were sure you could change him and get him out from that life, after all, that was your job, to help people. That thought was kept you going every day, despite all your fights and all those times he would grabbed your arms so hard that you'd have to wear long sleeves to work to hide the bruises, despite the nights he would come home so high or drunk that he could barely pronounce your name and all the nights you knew he was cheating on you, because, after all, it wasn’t his fault, right? It was all the drug’s fault and the people he hang with.

And one day, right when you thought nothing was going to change, you took that pregnancy test, two lines staring back at you giving you the hope you needed, that little person growing inside you was going to be the light at the end of the tunnel, that little baby was the answer to all your prayers.

But that wasn’t how Ryan thought at all, when you told him the news he was so furious, yelling at you for being so sloppy, for getting pregnant to tie him up and finally for cheating on him because there was no way that baby was his. After that he just left with his friends, probably to get high again and sleep with some other girl, leaving you at home alone and crying your heart out.

You felt destroyed, how could he said all those things to you? You always were faithful, you always forgive him and, more importantly, you always stayed until suddenly something changed, your tears stopped and you realized now you really had to leave, if not for you then for your baby who now depended of you so grabbing a bag you started to pack all your stuff, leaving nothing behind that could be a sign that you ever lived there.

Once on the street, with the air hitting your face as you put everything in your car, you felt the weight of the world being lifted of from your shoulders for the first time in a very long time, taking your phone out to call April, your best friend in the world.

You had met her when you first started working at the ED, from the beginning she was nice and helped you to get used to the craziness you had to deal with everyday. Being the sweetheart she was, she let you stayed at her place through all your pregnancy, you insisted to stay just for a couple days, just enough until you could found another apartment but she didn't let you go, completely excited with the idea of being the aunt of your baby.

Time flew by and when you least expected it, Aiden was born, the whole ED crew by your side, April and Will holding your hands, Natalie making sure everything was going fine and Maggie supporting you from the side with her encouraging words.

In that moment, with your little baby boy in your arms and all your friends around you, life couldn't be better.

After Aiden turned 1 you moved to a nice little apartment near the hospital where you met Kelly Severide, he was April's childhood friend and went with her at the housewarming party. He was sweet, charming and so handsome and you both really hit it off immediately but after Ryan and everything you had gone through you were a little bit wary of going back to the dating world, specially now that you had your little boy with you, Aiden being your number 1 priority. You knew Kelly was nothing like Ryan but that didn’t change the fact that you had some trust issues regarding guys.

It was really hard to say no to him when the boy was so persistent, going to visit you at the hospital whenever he had time in between calls when he was working or going to your place with some takeout to help you take care of the baby.

Slowly but surely, he eventually won your heart, having all those little details with you made you warm up to the idea of dating him and break down all the walls you had around your heart.

One rare night when you had the opportunity to go to Molly's with Maggie and April after shift, he showed up, flowers in hand and a huge smile on his face, to ask you officially on a date, how could you ever say no to that? He was the perfect gentleman and more importantly than anything, he accepted you with all your baggage, trust issues and Aiden, willing to be his father figure.

He soon started to be there in every first of Aiden, his first tooth, his first steps, his first word, the first time you ever took him to a zoo or his first day at daycare, staying with you at night and helping you whenever he woke up at 3 am crying or taking care of him when he wasn’t on duty and you had long shifts at the hospital.

He was fully committed, not only with you but with Aiden too, so much that one day when you had stopped by the firehouse with Aiden to pay him a quick visit you caught him at the table of squad 3 reading a book about “100 things you need to know about babies”, the sight melting away all doubts and fears you ever had, leaving nothing behind but love because that was the moment you realized you loved Kelly and it was such a strong and powerful feeling you had never experienced before.

Time flew by and before you realized it you were throwing Aiden’s fifth birthday party, the theme: firefighters. Ever since he was aware of what Kelly did for a living and understood what it was about, all he wanted was to be a firefighter, rescue people and be lieutenant of the squad just like him and every time he would mention it the smile on Kelly’s face would only get bigger full with pride.

“Happy birthday to you…” you all sang to Aiden in front of his fire truck birthday cake, the whole firehouse and Med staff there to spent the day celebrating with you.

“Blow out the candles, champ” Kelly said ruffling his hair.

“Don’t forget to make a wish!”

“Done!” he yelled before blowing the candles while everyone laughed and clapped, the boy having everyone in the room wrapped around their little finger.

“So... tell us, Aiden, what did you wished for?” April said

“I wished…” he said slowly creating expectation in the room “to be just like dad! A firefighter!” he screamed before hopping off his chair to go play with his friends, everyone on the room celebrating and laughing without realizing what had just happened. They couldn’t know it but that had been the first time Aiden called Kelly his dad, bringing happy tears to your eyes.

Even though Kelly had been there for you both since Aiden was almost two and Aiden couldn’t remember much before him, you had always told him the truth, letting him know that Kelly was your boyfriend and his biological father had disappeared long before he was born, it had been a little bit difficult to explain it to a 4 years old boy but with Kelly’s help you managed to do it avoiding all the ugly parts of the story and letting him know that no matter who his biological father was, you and Kelly would always love him.

Since he was a toddler who was barely starting to speak you had taught him that honesty was the best policy so you always tried to teach him by example even when it came to situations like that, once you explained it all to him Kelly and you made sure he knew that you were his family no matter what, trying to clear all fears from his little head when he asked if Kelly would leave you just like the other man did, the question almost breaking your heart and leaving you without an answer, fortunately Kelly immediately told him that he would never leave either one of you, that he loved you both and that we wanted to be his dad if he let him.

Around a year has passed since that day and you were more than happy to know that finally Aiden’s fears had gone away and he was ready to call Kelly his dad, sure that he would never leave you.

In that moment you felt Kelly’s strong arm around you waist making you come back to reality, proud and happiness all over his face as he looked down at you, that one look being more than enough to let you know what he was thinking, that moment in time being the proof that it was all worth it and without the hardest and darkest moments in your life you wouldn’t be standing there surrounded by the people you loved most.

“Who wants some cake?” you heard April in the background “Kelly, be nice and hand me some plates, please” she said while cutting the slices without realizing you were just having a moment when suddenly the doorbell rang.

“I’m coming” you said.

“Hey, (Y/N), if it’s Capp he better be standing behind that door with a really big present for Aiden, we will not tolerate him arriving just in time for the cake” Herrmann said making you laugh.

“I’ll let him know” you said opening the door still laughing.

“Miss me?” said the man at the door, his voice sending a chill down your spine and making you want to grab your son and run.

He hadn’t change a bit since the last time you saw him around 6 years ago but now all you ever saw in him transformed into disgust and fear.

“R-Ryan?” you stuttered closing the door as much as you could so nobody could see him “What are you doing here? How did you found me?”

“Well, it certainly wasn’t easy, especially since you left no trail behind you that time you left me but a couple days ago a friend of mine told me he saw you entering this building, I thought I would pay you a visit to check on you, see how are you doing now”

“I’m fine, thanks for the visit but I have to get back inside” you said trying to hide your nerves and closing the door when a rough push from his hand stopped you.

“Aren’t you going to invite me in, (Y/N)? It’s not like everyday your son turns 5 years old” in that moment you felt like your soul had left our body and all color drained from your face.

“I-I don’t… don’t know what you’re talking about”

“Don’t play stupid and let me in, (Y/N), I want to meet my son” he said threatening when it reached you from the inside the sound of Aiden’s laugh, making you snap out of your fearful state.

“He’s not your son, you made that very clear 6 years ago when I told you I was pregnant” you said firmly taking back all your power, your mother instinct kicking in instantly. “So now leave before I call the police” you finished before closing the door in his face, still shocked from your outburst.

It took you a second to recompose yourself, still trembling from the encounter with the man that some nights still haunted your dreams.

“Babe, do you want some cake?” said Kelly approaching you when he noticed the state you were in “Hey, what happened? Are you okay? Who was it?” he quickly questioned putting his hands in your shoulders to look at you and make sure you weren’t harm.

“He’s back, Kelly” you whispered, the lump in your throat barely letting anything out “Ryan’s back”

"What?"

"It was him at the door, he said that he wanted to meet Aiden. Kelly, what am I going to do? What if he wants to take him away?"

"What we are going to do is talk to Antonio, hell we’ll talk to Voight if we need to, we'll put a restraining order and make sure there is no way he can get close to you again, you're not alone anymore, (Y/N), you have all of us, you have me"

"I'm scared"

"I know" he said enveloping you in a hug as if that way he could protect you from all the bad in the world.

“Mom, hurry! I want to open my presents!” said Aiden running to you and tugging at your hand. With your head still buried on Kelly’s chest you took a second to breathe and push all your worries to the back of your head, making sure to put in a smile for Aiden.

“Let’s go, honey” you said stepping back, grabbing Kelly’s hand and letting the kid guide you to the living room where everyone was sitting around a big pile of presents.

“Okay, champ, open up mine first” said Kelly sitting in the floor next to him and passing him a box.

“Kelly…” you said, you had told him that it wasn’t necessary at all, he had already helped a lot with the organization of the party.

As Aiden ripped the paper and took the lid on a big red firefighter helmet came into view.

“Mom, look!” Aiden exclaimed putting it on “Now I’m a firefighter!”

Everyone laughed, he was so happy and that was what mattered the most. He continued opening the rest of his presents: clothes, a superhero cape and a bunch of toys.

It was around 7 when you and the girls could finally just sit down in the living room to talk and drink some wine, the guys at the kitchen with some beers and a mess of chips and popcorn around them and the rest of the kids and their parents gone.

Aiden had fallen asleep in your arms half an hour ago with his firefighter helmet still on and you wished everything could stay just like that.

“Hey, Antonio, I need to ask you a favor” said Kelly taking him apart for a moment.

“Yeah, of course, tell me”

“I don’t know if Dawson ever told you anything about (Y/N)’s ex boyfriend, Aiden’s father”

“Not much, she once mentioned he was into drugs and gangs but not much more, he’s not in the system”

“Well, he came by earlier saying that he wants to meet Aiden and (Y/N)’s afraid he might want to take him away, is there anything we can do? I was thinking about a restraining order but I don’t know how much that can help considering his background”

“Well, we can start with that but there’s not much we can do without any evidence”

"Okay, thanks"

“If anything happens let me know, okay?”

“Sure, thanks Antonio” Kelly said going back with the rest of the guys.

When you least expected it it was already 10 pm and everyone was going, it was saturday but that didn’t mean anything being a nurse, doctor, detective or firefighter, most of you having to work the next day.

“Aiden was so happy, I think we did something right today” Kelly told you while you were getting ready to get in bed.

“Yeah, I swear I could see his little face lighting up when he opened your present, thank you, Kelly, for everything”

“It was nothing, really. I saw it the other day on my way back to the fire house after a call and I thought of him”

“I don’t know what I’d be doing without you”

“Handling it like you always have, sweetheart, I’m here because you want me around, not because you need me”

“You always have the right words, don’t you?” you said laughing a little bit.

“I hope so” he said getting into bed and extending his arms for you to crawl with him.

“What are we going to do tomorrow?” you asked once you were both in bed, your head on his chest and his hand playing with your hair “You have shift and I have to be at the ED”

“I can take him with me, come pick him up after your shift, we can even have dinner together there”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to cause you any trouble”

“Totally, I’ll speak with the chief and whenever we have a call he can stay with Connie, she’ll love him, don’t worry about it” he finished pressing a kiss on your forehead, the feeling of his fingers playing with your hair relaxing you and making you feel sleepy.

“Okay but if anything happens or you need me to go get him, just call me, okay?” you said suppressing a yawn.

“Just sleep, babe” was the last thing you heard.

That night was probably the worst you’ve had in a while, images of Ryan, your past together and him taking Aiden away constantly awakening you and keeping you from resting properly so you were more than happy when you noticed the sun was rising from behind your curtains.

Trying to not wake up Kelly you slid out of bed and headed towards the kitchen, coffee being your only thought after the horrible night you had.

Once you had a cup of coffee in your system you went to the bathroom to take a shower, the caffeine and the water helping you to feel completely awake and ready for the day. After you finished and put your nurse uniform on you found your way back to kitchen to start breakfast and since it was sunday you choose to spoil your boys a little bit with some nutella waffles.

You were halfway done when you heard steps coming from the hallway and then a pair of strong arms wrapped around your middle, Kelly resting his chin over your shoulder and leaving a small kiss on your neck.

“Morning” he said in a low husky voice.

“Good morning, babe. Can you go wake Aiden up, please?”

“Are you sure you want me to?” he said now peppering your shoulder with small kisses.

“Not exactly but you both need to get ready to go to the firehouse” you said giving a squeeze to one of his hands before going back to your current task “Puls, don’t forget that tuesday’s our day, we’ll leave Aiden with Matt and Gabby and then it’ll be just us to do whatever you want”

“Fine” he said finally letting you go “Can’t wait for it to be tuesday though” you heard him saying from the hallway.

You were setting the table when you heard laughter coming your way, Kelly appearing with Aiden on his back, the red firefighter helmet once again on his head matching his fire truck pajamas.

“Hey Aiden, tell mama what I was just telling you” Kelly said putting Aiden down on a chair and sitting next to you.

“I’m going to dad’s job today!” Aiden yelled raising his arms, a light on his eyes you would do anything to protect.

“That’s right, buddy, now eat your breakfast so we can get ready to leave”

An hour later you were saying goodbye to your boys and heading towards your car, ready for the day ahead.

“Ok, Aiden, let me give you the tour” Kelly told the 5 year old once they reached the firehouse, the toddler hand on his while they walk to the front door.

“Hey! Look who’s here” yelled Herrmann from the inside, the rest of the house coming out to receive Aiden.

“Look, I’m one of you” he let go of Kelly’s hand to go running to the guys, showing them his red helmet again.

Everyone there loved the little guy, he had won their hearts a long time ago and it was obvious as they all show him around and let him get into the fire truck, never treating him as Kelly’s partner son but as if he was his own because for anyone who ever had the pleasure to meet the three of you all they could see was a family, not mattering blood but the real connection you all had.

“Hey, Aiden, I need to tell you something” said Kelly in a moment of quiet, kneeling down to be eye level with him “Listen, champ, because it’s important, okay?”

“Okay” he said putting on his serious face and trying to cross his little arms over his chest almost making Kelly laugh.

“There will be a moment when the sirens will go on and we’ll be call to go do our job and I won’t be able to take you with me so you are going to stay with Connie, okay? She’s nice but you have to listen to her while I’m gone” he said pointing at her who was going over some papers at her desk.

“Ohh, I like her” he said now relaxing and getting closer to Kelly “She once draw with me while you and mom were busy but told me to keep it a secret” Aiden whispered to him and put his finger over his lip.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone” Kelly said playing along.

“Is that him? My son?” was suddenly being heard from the front, Kelly well aware of who was the owner of that voice and fire started to run down his veins.

“Hey, why don’t you go with Mouch to watch some cartoons? I’m sure he was looking for something new to watch” quickly said Kelly to the boy, Aiden running to the inside excited to show someone else his new favorite show and unaware of anything else.

Standing up and turning around he met eye to eye with the man who had hurt you so much many years ago and now was trying once again to do it.

“Leave, now” Kelly said angrily

“I’m not leaving anywhere unless it’s with my son”

By now everyone had already noticed the tension between the two and were getting around them, ready to back their lieutenant up or keep him from doing something stupid.

“Are you out of your mind? He never was and never will be yours”

“I have rights, he’s my son and I demand to see him” said getting closer to Kelly.

“You have no rights here, pal, you’re in my territory now and I’m not scared of you so before you do something you might regret just leave and leave my family alone because he’s MY son”

“Your family?” Ryan said before laughing “That dumb bitch will leave you just like she did with me, she’s not worth all the trouble, man”

“What did you just said!?” exploded Kelly pushing him back, everyone ready to break them apart.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you” said Matt getting in the middle when Ryan was about to push Kelly back.

“Yeah man, just leave” added Cruz, a halligan in his hands.

That’s when they both took a second to look around, almost everyone was there including chief Boden who was watching everything from behind, the only ones missing were the girls and Mouch, taking care of Aiden.

“I’m not done yet” said Ryan when he realized he was outnumbered.

“Yes, it is. Now leave and don’t ever come back” added Herrmann from the side.

“Whatever, we’ll see about that” finished Ryan before leaving the fire house.

“Are you okay, Severide?” stepped in chief Boden.

“Yes, sir” he said breathing and running a hand down his face.

“Good, now I suggest we let CPD know about this situation, it must be enough for them to do something. Back to work everybody”

Kelly knew it wasn’t going to be that easy but he didn’t care because no matter what he would always be ready to fight for his son, for his family.

_______________________

Masterlist

#writing #writer #Chicago Fire #chicago med #chicago fire imagine #one-shot #oneshot #one shot #One Chicago #Kelly Severide #kelly severide imagine #kelly severide one shot #kelly severide x reader #imagine #chicago fire one shot #drabble

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jkbabiey · 4 years ago

Text

{JJK} Say it ⤇ 1

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Pairing: fuckboy!jungkook x student!reader

Word Count: ~2.88 K

Genre: actually... I don’t even know; some angst in the beginning, and then there’s that flirty smutty tension between the reader and kook; college!AU

Warnings: Jungkook seems to be a dick and Y/N can be kinda rude but it’s fine, she’s a sweetheart. There are some very soft mentions of sex and a very very annoying kook omg

YOU SHOULD PAY ATTENTION TO THE DATES IN THIS FANFIC

22nd of August, 2023

It was about 3 am when you heard the doorbell.

It was him.

Your irritation had nothing to do with sleepiness or with the late-night hour he chose to come by. You were awake, there’s no way you’d be able to sleep. You haven’t slept well since the night he let you go. Your irritation had to do with him; he wouldn’t be at your door if he wasn’t drunk or horny, and the fact that he didn’t understand this type of “meetings” wouldn’t be happening after that same night, pissed you off.

You were extremely pissed off.

Your anger was long gone as soon as you opened the door. He wasn’t drunk, and he sure as hell didn’t look horny, he was completely broken. His eyes were red and his face was puffy, he was a mess. If this had happened a month ago, you would have hugged him right away, trying to give him as much as a sense of comfort as you could and right now, you were trying to fight the urge to do exactly that. You had spent almost three weeks trying to convince yourself that he was a bad person and you weren't willing to give up all of your progress. Even though the look he was sending your way was yearning - almost begging - for some comfort coming from you.

His gaze was intense. He stared at you as if begging you to do something, he was lost, he had been for a long time now. He was begging you to let him in, and let him do whatever he wanted. He wanted you to do what you always did, he wanted to feel you. He wanted to feel as if he wasn’t as lost as he actually knew he was. You always made him feel like at least something in his life was worth it, and that something was you.

“Please let me in.” his voice was hoarse.

You didn’t budge. You just stood there, looking at him dead in the eye. What the fuck were you supposed to do in this situation? You were so hopeless about anything that had to do with him at this point you couldn’t even speak.

You didn’t say a word, but he understood just what was going through your mind. He knew how caught up in your thoughts you could get and how much of a rational person you were. But right now there was nothing minimally rational you could do. Nothing about your relationship was rational.

He stepped closer to you and closed the door behind him, not breaking the eye contact once. That has always been his way to get more intimate with you, to make you open up to him.

His hand made its way to your cheek, his thumb caressing your cheekbone. His heart softened when he noticed the way you leaned into his touch.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as his face got closer to yours, you could see the guilt in his eyes, even though your vision was already blurred up by the tears that managed to well up in your eyes.

His free hand rested on your shoulder, trying to push you towards him, but you stayed still, refusing to give in.

“Please Y/N… I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean anything I said that night, I just, I’ve never felt like this with anyone else before you, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do, or say, or how to deal with any of this- fuck” he paused, taking the hand that was previously resting on your shoulder to his face, rubbing it harshly. “ and I am sorry…” he finally finished.

Your tears were already running free, and your face was probably a mess, but you didn’t care.

“Say it,” You said sternly even though your voice was already wavering. He knew what you were referring to, of course he did. He was a very intelligent guy, even though he usually pretended no to be.

“I’m telling you what to do now, Jungkook, just say it,” you whispered, closing your eyes for a moment.

He looked at you, pain evident on his face, he didn’t want to say it. Not because he didn’t feel the same way you did, but because he wasn’t brave enough to admit that he feels, that he can feel something as dangerous as love.

He opened his mouth several times, just to close it again. He couldn’t say it, he was so afraid.

Yeah… Jungkook was afraid.

He was known by everyone around the city for being fearless. Because that was what he wanted people to think. He smokes, his body is embellished with tattoos, and he has fucked almost every girl in the town, forgetting their names the day after.

... But Jungkook was all talk.

He liked to be known, desired and even feared by some, but now, here he was, begging you to let him in.

Neither of you knew what to do. You were both scared. But then you understood he wasn’t able to cross that line, and ignoring all the urges to kiss him right there, take all of his worries and insecurities off his chest and the doubtful look off his eyes, you decided to put an end to that.

“Get out.”

11th of February, 2023

You were completely covered in work, sitting on your living room’s floor. Anatomy books all around you. This had already became a very typical Saturday night for you. Your house was a complete mess, you didn’t even manage to find time to eat, how would you have time to clean your small apartment?

Med school wasn’t easy, it was far from easy. There was so much effort you had to put into it. You barely had a social life. Actually, all you had was your sister, your best friend, and a few friends from med school. You weren't particularly the social butterfly, and you couldn't really blame med school for that, you never liked to have many people around you. If you want to be a doctor, you have to forget having a life apart from the hospital, your full attention has to be directed to studying so you can save lives in the future.

The thing is, you’ve wanted to be a doctor since you were 14 years old. You worked your ass off so that you could have the perfect grades, and get into med school without any problem. You knew it was going to be hard from the beginning, but you were a girl that like challenges, you loved being challenged; your competitive nature implied it. You have always liked to get things the hard way. Easy was boring.

You’ve always set your goals very high. You were an overachiever. And you were stubborn, you would never give up on your dreams. These were great characteristics for an aspiring doctor. You were sure you were on the right path.

Your studies were interrupted when Maggie, your sister, barged into your house. She had a spare key, you gave it to her when you moved into this apartment. She has always been your confidant, you told her every single thing that happened in your life. She knew everything there was to know about you, and you knew everything about her. Your relationship has always been awesome, you’ve always treated each other as best friends and not really as sisters.

You had told her how stressed you were about med school the night prior, and you could hear in her voice how worried she got about your mental health, even though, the situation wasn’t that bad, she tended to exaggerate. So it wasn’t really surprising that she was in your apartment, all excited, telling you, you were going to a party tonight because you needed to get loose.

And even though you could see how happy and full of good intentions she was, you almost laughed at her face, well... actually, you really did laugh, a lot. It was just a really funny and almost ridiculous idea. It was really stupid of her to even think you would waste a night of study, for a party. You didn't even like parties!

You hated parties, actually!

You've always been kind of an introvert. You liked to have your own space, you loved to be alone, you loved to read, and you didn't like having other people invading your personal space.

"What are you even saying?" you asked, still laughing.

Your sister's expression fell the moment you said that, almost mocking her.

"We are going out, I already talked to Vicky, she's coming with us. Get ready, you have one hour, we are leaving at 9pm and we still have to pick Vicky up"

Vicky was your best friend, you were so surprised Maggie got her to leave her house. Vicky was also an introvert, she was even worse than you.

"Hurry up!" she screamed, already impatient.

You were left staring at her, completely dumbfounded, before she grabbed your arm and pushed you into the bathroom.

You were already in Maggie's car. The tight black dress you were wearing was utterly and completely uncomfortable. The three of you were already on your way to the party, you couldn't be more panicked. You haven't come to a party since you were 15, you didn't even know how to act in a party, what were you supposed to do? You looked at Vicky, in the backseat, she was just as nervous as you were, you couldn't find her situation more relatable. Your eyes crossed and you both knew what each of you was feeling at that exact moment.

It had always been like this. You've always understood and known each other like the back of your hands. Your mothers were best friends, and when she was born, you were only one year old. You grew together and got used to each others' presence. Now you were almost inseparable.

When you got to the party, the smell of smoke and the loud suggestive music invaded your senses. You weren't used to this kind of environment, and you didn't like it, not one bit.

In the middle of the party, Maggie was already on the dance floor, and she had already denied dancing with at least 5 different guys. Everyone was just so drawn to her, you couldn't blame them. Maggie was absolutely stunning, she had always been the pretty girl of the family. Vicky was seated beside you at the bar when Maggie came and basically pulled her to dance. She tried to do the same with you, but she gave up as soon as you sent her your most intimidating gaze.

"Sorry, can I get a cosmopolitan, please?" you asked the bartender. If your friends dragged you here, you should, at least, drink something, right?

The bartender gave you your drink a bit after matched with an apologetic look, probably used to seeing other people in the same situation you were.

Sipping your drink you looked up to see all kind of people dancing and laughing at each other. This couldn't really be considered dancing, all everybody attempted to do was grinding on each other, exchanging partner if their rhythms of grinding weren’t similar. Disgusting. Purely disgusting.

Your discomfort only increased when your eyes locked with another pair of brown orbs, that were already fixed on yours. His gaze was intense, so intense that he got you shifting in your seat and adjusting your dress, so it would cover your legs properly - if that was even possible. He must have noticed your agitation because you swear to god, you saw him smirking. You tried looking somewhere else, but his gaze was fixed on you, and at some point, you forgot the nervousness you had felt some seconds before, giving up on keeping your eyes away and looking straight at him. All your confidence was long gone when he decided to stand up and started walking towards you, never breaking the eye contact.

You haven't really noticed how attractive that stranger was but now that his face was lightened up by the red neon lights of the pub you were in, you could see it perfectly. His face was flawless - his dark hair was pulled back as if he had just run his fingers through it, his gaze was sharp and intense, you could see he felt challenged, looking straight at your eyes, his lips were slightly parted, and apparently moisturized and you could clearly see how chiselled his jawline was.

For your contentment, he looked away first, but kept his eyes on you, analyzing your body now. He was wearing a simple white t-shirt, but the muscles beneath it were definitely noticeable. His arms were also muscular and he had some tattoos covering them. The tight jeans he was wearing left you almost drooling at how muscular and defined his tights seemed to be. His steps were languid and slow. The tension between you two was palpable, and while you were focused on his eyes and the desire that they exuded, everyone else was gone, it was just the two of you.

What a fucking prick...

"Hey princess," he said when he got to your side, sitting in one of the fancy stools that stood by the bar after pulling it closer to yours.

If he thinks that with that little fuckboy talk he's going to take you to bed, he's wrong. So wrong...

"You should get back to your friends." he was taken aback by your words, it was obvious by the way he looked at you, but the surprised look didn't last long, quickly being replaced by that stupidly desirable smirk he'd been wearing since his eyes laid on your figure and a soft tilt os his head.

"You were so excited looking at me across the room... Acting all confident. Now that I'm finally here, you send me away... Am I making you nervous, baby?"

"God, you're so full of yourself... Is that your tactic to get girls to go home with you?" you looked at him, clearly annoyed.

It was clear he wasn't liking how rude you were sounding, but you couldn't care less.

He laughed a bit, low and hoarsely, amused by how feisty you were, getting even closer to you, after poking the inside of his cheek.

"You think I want to take you home?" he looked at your eyes defyingly, clearly mocking you. His face was so close to yours that you could see the rage he was feeling and hiding, almost flawlessly, through his eyes. "I wouldn't want to take you home." he stared, waiting for you to snap. God, he was so rude.

"Fuck off," you said with a neutral voice, daring to send him a little ironic smile.

"I'm not sayin' I'm not up to fuck you, but not necessarily in my house" he chuckled in a low tone and looked at you with the same challenging look he was wearing earlier. He was severely testing your patience, but you were determined to not give him the satisfaction of seeing you lose your cool.

You looked at him. The disgust you were feeling was evident, he noticed it.

"When are you going to shut the fuck up?" you asked, almost losing your patience, which you'd been preserving for a long time now.

You stood up, ready to leave him there.

He was ready to say something else but noticing you had already left he was left staring at your uncovered back and your hips that were adorned by your tight little black dress.

You knew you were one hell of a woman. You've always had your insecurities just like everyone else, but you knew how beautiful you were on top of all those imperfections.

You looked back and smirked when you saw him staring at your ass, biting his bottom lip.

You sat in a velvety sofa in the bar, still holding your drink, but the thought of those lips and shiny eyes was still haunting you, and the fact that he was still persistently staring your way wasn't helping. You felt your body relax a bit when he finally stood up and stepped towards the dance floor.

A while later, Maggie and Vicky were walking towards the couch you were sitting on and threw themselves on it, completely wasted.

"Hey, I gave your number to a really hot guy. I think you're getting laid in the next week!" Vicky screamed at the top of her lungs excitedly and you wondered who she could be talking about, running your eyes through the unfamiliar faces that filled the bar.

“Finally!” Maggie added to Vicky’s exaggerated statement.

Your heart stopped the moment your eyes locked with the ones you've been dreadfully thinking about for the last hour. He was smirking as if he had heard your friends - which he probably did.

He studied your expression falling as realization fell on you. He had won. And when you found yourself lost in his eyes from across the room, imagining what he could do to you, you were pretty sure you had lost.

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to-read-or-not-to-read3088 · 3 years ago

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70+ disabled, neurodiverse and chronically ill authors COLLAB

This post is in collaboration with several other bloggers whose links are included here:

Artie Carden

Anniek

Hi! It’s been a while since I posted anything, but this post has been a month in the making. I have twenty books by twenty authors for my part in this collaboration, and you can check out the other parts of the collab with the links at the top of the post.

I haven’t read some of these books but almost all of them are on my to be read pile, and I did extensive research to make sure I got this right, but please let me know if there are any mistakes or if anything needs to be corrected.

1. Meet Cute Diary by Emery Lee

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Meet Cute Diary follows Noah Ramirez who thinks he’s an expert on romance. He must be for his blog, the Meet Cute Diary, a collection of trans happily ever afters. There’s just one problem. All the stories are fake. What started off as the fantasies of a trans boy who was afraid to step out of the closet has grown into a beacon of hope for trans readers across the globe. Noah’s world unravels when a troll exposes the blog as fiction, and the only way to save the Diary is to convince everyone that the stories are true, but he doesn’t have any proof. That’s when Drew walks into Noah’s life, and the pieces fall into place. Drew is willing to fake date Noah to save the Diary. But when Noah’s feelings grow beyond their staged romance, he realises that dating in real life isn’t the same as finding love on the page.

The author, Emery Lee, is a kid lit author, artist and YouTuber hailing from a mixed racial background. After graduating with a degree in creative writing, e’s gone on to author novels, short stories and webcomics. When away from reading and writing, you’ll likely find em engaged in art or snuggling with cute dogs.

Emery Lee is nonbinary, and uses e/em pronouns, and e’s debut book, Meet Cute Diary, features a side character who is also nonbinary (and asexual!). Emery is also neurodivergent, and frequently speaks about what its like being a writer with adhd on twitter.

Meet Cute Diary is a book I only discovered last month, when it was published, but I’m excited to read it. It has representation of all kinds, and I love any book that has even a little mention of an asexual character because its so rare to see.

2. Ace of Spades by Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé

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At Niveus Private Academy money paves the hallways, and the students are never less than perfect. Until now. Because an anonymous texter calling themselves Aces, is bringing two students’ dark secrets to light. Devon, a talented musician, buries himself in rehearsals, but he can’t escape the spotlight when his private photos go public. Chiamaka, head girl, isn’t afraid to get what she wants, but soon everyone will know the price she has paid for power. Someone is out to get them both. Someone who holds all the aces. And they’re planning much more than a high school game.

Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, is the author of the instant New York Times and IndieBound bestseller, Ace of Spades, billed as ‘Get out meets Gossip Girl’. Entertainment Weekly has called it “this summer’s hottest YA debut”. She was born and raised in Croydon, South London, and Faridah moved to the Scottish Highlands for her undergraduate degree where she completed a BA in English Literature. She has established and runs and mentorship scheme for unagented writers of colour, helping them on their journey to get published. Faridah has also written for NME, The Bookseller, Readers Digest and gal-dem.

Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé’s book is one that I pre-ordered months in advance, after discovering that I actually really liked this sub-genre of YA, and although I still haven’t read it yet (sorry!), I’m still super excited to dive into it. From what I hear, it has some gay rep, which we all know by now is something I seek out in my books.

3. Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illnesses by Kristen O’Neal

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Priya has worked hard to pursue her pre med dreams at Stanford, but a diagnosis of chronic Lyme disease during her sophomore year sends her straight back to her loving but overbearing family in New Jersey and leaves her wondering if she’ll ever be able to return to the way things were. Thankfully she has her online pen pal, Brigid, and the rest of the members of “oof ouch my bones,” a virtual support group that meets on Discord to crack jokes and vent about their own chronic illnesses. When Brigid suddenly goes offline, Priya does something very out of character; she steals the family car and drives to Pennsylvania to check on Brigid. Priya isn’t sure what to expect, but it isn’t the creature that’s shut in the basement. With Brigid nowhere in sight, Priya begins to puzzle together an impossible but obvious truth: the creature might be werewolf – and the werewolf might be Brigid. As Brigid’s unique condition worsens, their friendship will be deepened and challenged in unexpected ways, forcing them to reckon with their own ideas of what it means to be normal.

Kristen O’Neal is a freelance writer who’s written for sites like Buzzfeed Reader, Christianity Today, Birth.Movies.Death, LitHub and Electric Literature. She writes about faith, culture, and unexplained phenomena. Her debut novel, Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illnesses is based on her own experiences with being chronically ill. Kristen has two autoimmune disorders and “a number of other problems and issues” with her body. According to her website, she is doing much better than she used to, but still has flares somewhat regularly.

I cannot describe the feeling of seeing a published book with the best group chat name I have ever seen. Oof ouch my bones is absolutely something that I would be part of if it really existed, because its just such a mood, and funny at the same time. I pre ordered this book too, but like all the others, I still haven’t gotten around to reading it. I’m super excited about it though and cannot recommend it enough.

4. Only Mostly Devastated by Sophie Gonzales

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Will Tavares is the dream summer fling – he’s fun, affectionate, kind – but just when Ollie thinks he’s found his Happily Ever After, summer vacation ends, and Will stops texting Ollie back. Now Ollie is one prince short of his fairy tale ending, and to complicate the fairy tale further, a family emergency sees Ollie uprooted and enrolled at a new school across the country. Which he minds a little less when he realises it’s the same school Will goes to…except Ollie finds out that the sweet, comfortably queer guy he knew from summer isn’t the same one attending Collinswood High. This Will is a class clown, closeted – and to be honest, a jerk. Ollie has no intention of pining after a guy who clearly isn’t ready for a relationship, especially since this new, bro-y jock version of Will seems to go from hot to cold every other week. But then Will starts “coincidentally” popping up in every area of Ollie’s life, from music class to the lunch table, and Ollie finds his resolve weakening. The last time he gave Will his heart, Will handed it back to him trampled and battered. Ollie would have to be an idiot to trust him with it again. Right? Right.

Sophie Gonzales was born and raised in Whyalla, South Australia, where the Outback Meets the Sea. She now lives in Melbourne, where there’s no outback in sight. Sophie’s been writing since the age of five, when her mother decided to help her type out one of the stories she had come up with in the bathtub. They ran into artistic differences when five-year-old Sophie insisted that everybody die in the end, while her mother wanted the characters to simply go out for a milkshake. Since then, Sophie has been completing her novels without a transcript. Sophie Gonzales tweets about her experiences with ADHD on her twitter.

Only mostly devasted is one of the few books on this list that I’ve read. I read the whole thing in one sitting because I just couldn’t put it down, which is weird because I normally don’t read contemporary at all. I have recommended this book to literally everyone I know, and even bought my best friend a copy to convince her to read it.

5. The Bone Houses by Emily Lloyd Jones

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Seventeen-year-old Aderyn ("Ryn") only cares about two things: her family, and her family's graveyard. And right now, both are in dire straits. Since the death of their parents, Ryn and her siblings have been scraping together a meagre existence as gravediggers in the remote village of Colbren, which sits at the foot of a harsh and deadly mountain range that was once home to the fae. The problem with being a gravedigger in Colbren, though, is that the dead don't always stay dead. The risen corpses are known as "bone houses," and legend says that they're the result of a decades-old curse. When Ellis, an apprentice mapmaker with a mysterious past, arrives in town, the bone houses attack with new ferocity. What is it that draws them near? And more importantly, how can they be stopped for good? Together, Ellis and Ryn embark on a journey that will take them deep into the heart of the mountains, where they will have to face both the curse and the long-hidden truths about themselves.

Emily Lloyd-Jones grew up on a vineyard in rural Oregon, where she played in evergreen forests and learned to fear sheep. After graduating from Western Oregon University with an English degree, she enrolled in the publishing program at Rosemont College just outside of Philadelphia. She currently resides in Northern California.

Another book on my to be read pile that I’m super excited to read, but still haven’t gotten around to. This one features disability rep, but because I haven’t read it, I don’t know much more, sorry guys.

6. Mooncakes by Susanne Walker and Wendy Xu

📷Nova Huang knows more about magic than your average teen witch. She works at her grandmothers' bookshop, where she helps them loan out spell books and investigate any supernatural occurrences in their New England town. One fateful night, she follows reports of a white wolf into the woods, and she comes across the unexpected: her childhood crush, Tam Lang, battling a horse demon in the woods. As a werewolf, Tam has been wandering from place to place for years, unable to call any town home. Pursued by dark forces eager to claim the magic of wolves and out of options, Tam turns to Nova for help. Their latent feelings are rekindled against the backdrop of witchcraft, untested magic, occult rituals, and family ties both new and old in this enchanting tale of self-discovery.

Suzanne Walker is a Chicago-based writer and editor. She is co-creator of the Hugo-nominated graphic novel Mooncakes (2019, Lion Forge/Oni Press). Her short fiction has been published in Clarkesworld and Uncanny Magazine, and she has published nonfiction articles with Uncanny Magazine, StarTrek.com, Women Write About Comics, and the anthology Barriers and Belonging: Personal Narratives of Disability. She has spoken at numerous conventions on a variety of topics ranging from disability representation in sci-fi/fantasy to comics collaboration.

Wendy Xu is a Brooklyn-based illustrator and comics artist. She is co-creator of and currently draws the webcomic Mooncakes. Her work has been featured on Tor.com, as part of the Chinese American: Exclusion/Inclusion exhibit permanently housed at the Chinese Historical Society of America, and in Shattered: The Asian American Comics Anthology. She occasionally teaches at the Asian American Writers Workshop and currently works as an assistant editor curating young adult and children’s books.

Suzanne Walker suffers from hearing loss, something that she wrote into her graphic novel, Mooncakes, making Nova hard of hearing. I read this in a few years ago as an advance reader copy for Netgalley and it was honestly one of the best graphic novels I have ever read. The main characters are Chinese American, queer AND magic, which is an amazing combination of representation.

7. Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

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Ketterdam: a bustling hub of international trade where anything can be had for the right price—and no one knows that better than criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker. Kaz is offered a chance at a deadly heist that could make him rich beyond his wildest dreams. But he can’t pull it off alone… A convict with a thirst for revenge A sharpshooter who can’t walk away from a wager A runaway with a privileged past A spy known as the Wraith A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes Kaz’s crew is the only thing that might stand between the world and destruction—if they don’t kill each other first.

Leigh Bardugo is a #1 New York Times bestselling author of fantasy novels and the creator of the Grishaverse (now a Netflix original series) which spans the Shadow and Bone Trilogy, the Six of Crows Duology, The Language of Thorns, and King of Scars—with more to come. Her short stories can be found in multiple anthologies, including the Best American Science Fiction & Fantasy. Her other works include Wonder Woman: Warbringer and Ninth House (Goodreads Choice Winner for Best Fantasy 2019) which is being developed for television by Amazon Studios.

Leigh grew up in Southern California and graduated from Yale University. These days she lives and writes in Los Angeles.

In the acknowledgements section of Six of Crows, Bardugo reveals she suffers from osteonecrosis and sometimes needs to use a cane; this was a source of inspiration for one of the story's six protagonists, master thief and gang boss Kaz Brekker, who uses a cane.

I read Six of Crows a few years ago and I really loved it. I’m not going to pretend I managed to finish the whole Grishaverse series, because I haven’t even gotten close yet, but it really showed Kaz’s struggles with his disability, and his mental health. This is part of a duology, and the duology is part of a large series of books with another duology and trilogy, but Six of Crows can be read without reading the others.

8. Hyperbole and A Half by Allie Brosh

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This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative--like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it--but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So, I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!

Allie is an American blogger, writer and comic artist best known for her blog in the form of a webcomic Hyperbole and a Half. Brosh started Hyperbole in 2009 and told stories from her life in a mix of text and intentionally crude illustrations. She has published two books telling stories in the same style, both of which have been New York Times bestsellers. Brosh lives with severe depression and ADHD, and her comics on depression have won praise from fans and mental health professionals.

Another book on my tbr that I just haven’t gotten around to but really want to.

9. The Rest of Us Just Live Here by Patrick Ness

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What if you aren’t the Chosen One? The one who’s supposed to fight the zombies, or the soul-eating ghosts, or whatever the heck this new thing is, with the blue lights and the death? What if you’re like Mikey? Who just wants to graduate and go to prom and maybe finally work up the courage to ask Henna out before someone goes and blows up the high school. Again. Because sometimes there are problems bigger than this week’s end of the world, and sometimes you just must find the extraordinary in your ordinary life. Even if your best friend is worshipped by mountain lions...

Patrick Ness, an award-winning novelist, has written for England’s Radio 4 and Sunday Telegraph and is a literary critic for The Guardian. He has written many books, including the Chaos Walking Trilogy, The Crash of Hennington, Topics About Which I Know Nothing, and A Monster Calls. He has won numerous awards, including the Guardian Children’s Fiction Prize, the Booktrust Teenage Prize, and the Costa Children’s Book Award. Born in Virginia, he currently lives in London.

Patrick Ness has written about OCD and anxiety in at least two of his books, inspired by his own experiences with the two disorders and how it affects him (The Rest of Us Just Live Here & Release)

10. Every Heart A Doorway by Seanan McGuire

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Eleanor West’s Home for Wayward Children No Solicitations No Visitors No Quests Children have always disappeared under the right conditions; slipping through the shadows under a bed or at the back of a wardrobe, tumbling down rabbit holes and into old wells, and emerging somewhere... else. But magical lands have little need for used-up miracle children. Nancy tumbled once, but now she’s back. The things she’s experienced... they change a person. The children under Miss West’s care understand all too well. And each of them is seeking a way back to their own fantasy world. But Nancy’s arrival marks a change at the Home. There’s a darkness just around each corner, and when tragedy strikes, it’s up to Nancy and her new-found schoolmates to get to the heart of the matter. No matter the cost.

Seanan lives in an idiosyncratically designed labyrinth in the Pacific Northwest, which she shares with her cats, Alice and Thomas, a vast collection of creepy dolls and horror movies, and sufficient books to qualify her as a fire hazard. She has strongly held and oft-expressed beliefs about the origins of the Black Death, the X-Men, and the need for chainsaws in daily life.

Years of writing blurbs for convention program books have fixed Seanan in the habit of writing all her bios in the third person, to sound marginally less dorky. Stress is on the "marginally." It probably doesn't help that she has so many hobbies.

Seanan was the winner of the 2010 John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer, and her novel Feed (as Mira Grant) was named as one of Publishers Weekly's Best Books of 2010. In 2013 she became the first person ever to appear five times on the same Hugo Ballot.

Seanan McGuire has an invisible disability due to herniated disks in her spine. She is slowly coming to terms with this, and talks about it occasionally on her twitter, and about the struggles she faces.

I loved this book, and so did my best friend. We both read it in one sitting and talked nonstop about it afterwards. Although short, its filled with amazing characters, plot, and representation (asexual character!!)

11. Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan

Each year, eight beautiful girls are chosen as Paper Girls to serve the king. It's the highest honour they could hope for...and the most demeaning. This year, there's a ninth. And instead 📷of paper, she's made of fire. In this richly developed fantasy, Lei is a member of the Paper caste, the lowest and most persecuted class of people in Ikhara. She lives in a remote village with her father, where the decade-old trauma of watching her mother snatched by royal guards for an unknown fate still haunts her. Now, the guards are back and this time it's Lei they're after -- the girl with the golden eyes whose rumoured beauty has piqued the king's interest. Over weeks of training in the opulent but oppressive palace, Lei and eight other girls learns the skills and charm that befit a king's consort. There, she does the unthinkable -- she falls in love. Her forbidden romance becomes enmeshed with an explosive plot that threatens her world's entire way of life. Lei, still the wide-eyed country girl at heart, must decide how far she's willing to go for justice and revenge.

Natasha Ngan is a writer and yoga teacher. She grew up between Malaysia, where the Chinese side of her family is from, and the UK. This multicultural upbringing continues to influence her writing, and she is passionate about bringing diverse stories to teens. Ngan studied Geography at the University of Cambridge before working as a social media consultant and fashion blogger. She lives in France with her partner, where they recently moved from Paris to be closer to the sea. Her novel Girls of Paper and Fire was a New York Times bestseller. Natasha has a heart condition, and talks about her struggles with her health, and gives updates on her health and her books on twitter.

I’ve heard a lot about this book, but for trigger warning reasons it sadly isn’t on my to be read list. Everything I’ve heard about it says its an amazing book though, and the cover is beautiful.

12. Queens of Geek by Jen Wilde

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Three friends, two love stories, one convention: this fun, feminist love letter to geek culture is all about fandom, friendship, and finding the courage to be yourself. Charlie likes to stand out. She’s a vlogger and actress promoting her first movie at SupaCon, and this is her chance to show fans she’s over her public breakup with co-star Reese Ryan. When internet-famous cool-girl actress Alyssa Huntington arrives as a surprise guest, it seems Charlie’s long-time crush on her isn’t as one-sided as she thought. Taylor likes to blend in. Her brain is wired differently, making her fear change. And there’s one thing in her life she knows will never change: her friendship with her best guy friend Jamie—no matter how much she may secretly want it to. But when she hears about a fan contest for her favourite fandom, she starts to rethink her rules on playing it safe.

Jen Wilde is the YA author of QUEENS OF GEEK, THE BRIGHTSIDERS and GOING OFF SCRIPT. She writes unapologetically queer stories about geeks, rockstars, and fangirls who smash the patriarchy in their own unique ways. Her books have been praised in Teen Vogue, Buzzfeed, Autostraddle, Vulture and Bustle. Originally from Australia, Jen now lives in NYC where she spends her time writing, drinking too much coffee and binging reality TV.

Researching for this collab was the first time this book popped up on my radar as something I might be interested in reading. Jen Wilde, the author, is herself autistic and suffers from anxiety, which gives the narrative “authenticity that is lacking in similar books” according to socialjusticebooks.org.

13. The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli

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Seventeen-year-old Molly Peskin-Suso knows all about unrequited love—she’s lived through it twenty-six times. She crushes hard and crushes often, but always in secret. Because no matter how many times her twin sister, Cassie, tells her to woman up, Molly can’t stomach the idea of rejection. So, she’s careful. Fat girls always have to be careful. Then a cute new girl enters Cassie’s orbit, and for the first time ever, Molly’s cynical twin is a lovesick mess. Meanwhile, Molly’s totally not dying of loneliness—except for the part where she is. Luckily, Cassie’s new girlfriend comes with a cute hipster-boy sidekick. Will is funny and flirtatious and just might be perfect crush material. Maybe more than crush material. And if Molly can win him over, she’ll get her first kiss and she’ll get her twin back. There’s only one problem: Molly’s co-worker Reid. He’s an awkward Tolkien superfan with a season pass to the Ren Faire, and there’s absolutely no way Molly could fall for him. Right?

Becky Albertalli is the author of the acclaimed novels Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda (film: Love, Simon), The Upside of Unrequited, and Leah on the Offbeat. She is also the co-author of What If It's Us with Adam Silvera. A former clinical psychologist who specialized in working with children and teens, Becky lives with her family in Atlanta.

Becky Albertalli has generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), and has spoken about it in several interviews, which you can find online. She has also written several characters in her books who also suffer with anxiety. Her first book, Simon vs the Homosapien’s Agenda (or Love, Simon), is the only book of hers that I have read so far, and I loved it. It was the first contemporary book that I read and actually enjoyed.

14. Carve the Mark by Veronica Roth

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Cyra is the sister of the brutal tyrant who rules the Shotet people. Cyra’s current gift gives her pain and power—something her brother exploits, using her to torture his enemies. But Cyra is much more than just a blade in her brother’s hand: she is resilient, quick on her feet, and smarter than he knows. Akos is the son of a farmer and an oracle from the frozen nation-planet of Thuvhe. Protected by his unusual currentgift, Akos is generous in spirit, and his loyalty to his family is limitless. Once Akos and his brother are captured by enemy Shotet soldiers, Akos is desperate to get his brother out alive—no matter what the cost. Then Akos is thrust into Cyra's world, and the enmity between their countries and families seems insurmountable. Will they help each other to survive, or will they destroy one another?

Veronica Roth is the #1 New York Times best-selling author of the Divergent series (Divergent, Insurgent, Allegiant, and Four: A Divergent Collection), the Carve the Mark duology (Carve the Mark, the Fates Divide), The End and Other Beginnings collection of short fiction, and many short stories and essays. Her first book for adult audiences, Chosen Ones, is out now. She lives in Chicago.

Veronica Roth suffers from anxiety, like a lot of the authors on this list, and talks about it in interviews. A quote from one: "I've had an anxiety disorder my whole life, so I've been to therapy on and off throughout, before books and after books. I went back and tried to talk through some of the things I was feeling and experiencing, and it was helpful."

I’ve never read any of her books, not even the hugely famous Divergent trilogy, though they’ve been on my radar for years. I’d love to get into her books at some point, but it might take me a few years.

15. How to be Autistic by Charlotte Amelia Poe

📷An urgent, funny, shocking, and impassioned memoir by the winner of the Spectrum Art Prize 2018, How To Be Autistic by Charlotte Amelia Poe presents the rarely shown point of view of someone living with autism. Poe’s voice is confident, moving and often funny, as they reveal to us a very personal account of autism, mental illness, gender and sexual identity. As we follow Charlotte’s journey through school and college, we become as awestruck by their extraordinary passion for life as by the enormous privations that they must undergo to live it. From food and fandom to body modification and comic conventions, Charlotte’s experiences through the torments of schooldays and young adulthood leave us with a riot of conflicting emotions: horror, empathy, despair, laugh-out-loud amusement and, most of all, respect. For Charlotte, autism is a fundamental aspect of their identity and art. They address the reader in a voice that is direct, sharply clever and ironic. They witness their own behaviour with a wry humour as they sympathise with those who care for them, yet all the while challenging the neurotypical narratives of autism as something to be ‘fixed’. This is an exuberant, inspiring, life-changing insight into autism from a viewpoint almost entirely missing from public discussion. ‘I wanted to show the side of autism that you don’t find in books and on Facebook. My story is about survival, fear and, finally, hope. There will be parts that make you want to cover your eyes, but I beg you to read on, because if I can change just one person’s perceptions, if I can help one person with autism feel like they’re less alone, then this will all be worth it.’ Charlotte Amelia Poe is a self-taught artist and writer living in Lowestoft, Suffolk. They also work with video and won the inaugural Spectrum Art Prize with the film they submitted, 'How to Be Autistic’. Myriad published Charlotte's memoir, How to Be Autistic, in September 2019.

Another book I didn’t know about until researching for this post, but I really want to read it because I haven’t read many books about autism, and practically none of them were actually written by someone who actually is autistic. Charlotte uses they/them pronouns.

16. Ask me about my Uterus by Abby Norman

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For any woman who has experienced illness, chronic pain, or endometriosis comes an inspiring memoir advocating for recognition of women's health issues In the fall of 2010, Abby Norman's strong dancer's body dropped forty pounds and grey hairs began to sprout from her temples. She was repeatedly hospitalized in excruciating pain, but the doctors insisted it was a urinary tract infection and sent her home with antibiotics. Unable to get out of bed, much less attend class, Norman dropped out of college and embarked on what would become a years-long journey to discover what was wrong with her. It wasn't until she took matters into her own hands--securing a job in a hospital and educating herself over lunchtime reading in the medical library--that she found an accurate diagnosis of endometriosis. In Ask Me About My Uterus, Norman describes what it was like to have her pain dismissed, to be told it was all in her head, only to be taken seriously when she was accompanied by a boyfriend who confirmed that her sexual performance was, indeed, compromised. Putting her own trials into a broader historical, sociocultural, and political context, Norman shows that women's bodies have long been the battleground of a never-ending war for power, control, medical knowledge, and truth. It's time to refute the belief that being a woman is a pre-existing condition.

Abby Norman’s debut book, ASK ME ABOUT MY UTERUS: A Quest to Make Doctors Believe in Women’s Pain, was published by Bold Type Books (Hachette Book Group) in 2018, with advance praise from Gillian Anderson, Lindsey Fitzharris, Jenny Lawson, and Padma Lakshmi.

The book was praised by The New York Times Book Review, The Wall Street Journal, New York Magazine, The Washington Post, The Sunday Times, The Irish Times, Literary Review, The Times Literary Supplement, The New Republic, Book Riot, Toronto Star, ELLE, Health Magazine, Undark Magazine, BUST Magazine, Bitch Magazine, Ms. Magazine, BBC Radio 5, and other international media outlets.

In 2019, the paperback edition was published in the U.S. and the Korean translation in Seoul (Momento Publishing/Duran Kim Agency).

Her work has been featured in Harper’s, Medium, The Independent, Literary Hub, The Rumpus, Mental Floss, Atlas Obscura, and elsewhere. Interviews and profiles have been seen and heard, including NPR/WNYC, BBC, Anchor.fm, The New York Times, Playboy, Forbes, Glamour, Women’s Health, and Bitch Magazine.

Abby Norman suffers from endometriosis, which was a large part of why she wrote her book, and why she advocates so hard for fellow patients at conferences such as Stanford University’s Stanford Medicine X and the Endometriosis Foundation of America’s medical conference and Patient Day. She is

Abby has served on technical expert panels including the National Partnership for Women and Families’ CORE Network (Yale University), the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), the Centres for Medicare and Medicaid, The Society for Women’s Health Research (SWHR), and Health Affairs.

In 2019, Abby contributed to a paper addressing research gaps and unmet needs in endometriosis published in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology.

This book is definitely one I will be adding to my to be read list, as someone who (unfortunately) also has a uterus, it is important to be informed. And Abby sounds like such a badass who wrote a whole book about her chronic illness to help others with the same condition.

17. Stim: Autistic Anthology by Lizzie Huxley-Jones

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Around one in one hundred people in the UK are autistic, yet there remains a fundamental misunderstanding of what autism is. It is rare that autistic people get to share their own experiences, show how creative and talented and passionate they are, how different they are from media stereotypes. This insightful and eye-opening collection of essays, fiction and visual art showcases the immense talents of some of the UK's most exciting writers and artists - who just happen to be on the spectrum. Here they reclaim the power to speak for themselves and redefine what it means to be autistic. Stim invites the reader into the lives, experiences, minds of the eighteen contributors, and asks them to recognise the hurdles of being autistic in a non-autistic world and to uncover the empathy and understanding necessary to continue to champion brilliant yet unheard voices.

Lizzie (Hux) Huxley-Jones is an autistic author and editor based in London. They are the editor of Stim, an anthology of autistic authors and artists, which was published by Unbound in April 2020 to coincide with World Autism Awareness Week. They are also the author of the children’s biography Sir David Attenborough: A Life Story. They can be found editing at independent micropublisher 3 of Cups Press, and they also advise writers as a freelance sensitivity reader and consultant. In their past career lives, they have been a research diver, a children’s bookseller and digital communications specialist.

I wasn’t even aware that there was an anthology out there by an autistic author, about autism, but now that I do I need to read it.

18. Chimera by Jaecyn Bonê

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Creatures unlike you've imagined before! Welcome to a world where myths and legends collide to create a new breed of monster. Savage and soulful, these monstrosities combine to form the mighty Chimera. In this anthology, talented writers weave 10 tales of fantastical beasts. Featuring stories by: Matt Bliss Jaecyn Boné Alexis L. Carroll Chris Durston Dewi Hargreaves Stephen Howard Samuel Logan Vincent Metzo Braden Rohl Michelle Tang

Jaecyn is a queer, non-binary, disabled Asian-American writer and digital artist fascinated by faeries.

Most of their writing involves wlw romance and faery-inspired creatures. Their first novel, Farzana's Spite is a 10-year-old work in progress and the first novel in The Faerth series. Other works include The Killing Song (novel) and Colour Unknown (short), both of which are also part of the Faerth universe.

Jaecyn's art can be described as a neorealistic pop art style with cel shading. They began their digital art journey with a 5-year-old refurbished iPad using their finger as a stylus and immediately fell in love. They do digital download commissions as well as sell prints of their artwork.

Jaecyn is the Co-Editor in Chief of the Limeoncello Magazine, an online Own Voices literary magazine which debuted its first issue on March 21st, 2021.

When not writing, drawing, or chasing after their two children, they can be found either gardening or practicing their ukulele.

None of Jaecyn Boné’s books are published yet as they are still in the stage of querying, but they contributed to the above anthology, along with nine other authors. I had no idea that this anthology existed, and now I’ll be closely following this author to see when their books get published!

19. Forest of Souls by Lori M Lee

Sirscha Ashwyn comes from nothing, but she’s intent on becoming something. After years of training to become the queen’s next royal spy, her plans are derailed when shamans attack 📷and kill her best friend Saengo. And then Sirscha, somehow, restores Saengo to life. Unveiled as the first soul guide in living memory, Sirscha is summoned to the domain of the Spider King. For centuries, he has used his influence over the Dead Wood—an ancient forest possessed by souls—to enforce peace between the kingdoms. Now, with the trees growing wild and untamed, only a soul guide can restrain them. As war looms, Sirscha must master her newly awakened abilities before the trees shatter the brittle peace, or worse, claim Saengo, the friend she would die for.

Lori M. Lee is the author of speculative novels and short stories. Her books include PAHUA AND THE SOUL STEALER (Disney/Rick Riordan Presents), FOREST OF SOULS and the sequel BROKEN WEB (Page Street), and more. She’s also a contributor to the anthologies A THOUSAND BEGINNINGS AND ENDINGS and COLOR OUTSIDE THE LINES. She considers herself a unicorn fan, enjoys marathoning TV shows, and loves to write about magic, manipulation, and family.

Lori struggles with anxiety, and the common symptoms like fatigue but she doesn’t let this stop her writing amazing books. I read Forest of Souls earlier this year, and it was seriously one of the best books I’ve ever read. I loved the magic, the characters, the world building. Everything about it, including the plot twist ending that had me losing my mind at 2am, was just so unlike anything I had read in any other fantasy before.

20. A Song of Wraiths and Ruin by Roseanne A Brown

📷

For Malik, the Solstasia festival is a chance to escape his war-stricken home and start a new life with his sisters in the prosperous desert city of Ziran. But when a vengeful spirit abducts Malik’s younger sister, Nadia, as payment into the city, Malik strikes a fatal deal—kill Karina, Crown Princess of Ziran, for Nadia’s freedom. But Karina has deadly aspirations of her own. Her mother, the Sultana, has been assassinated; her court threatens mutiny; and Solstasia looms like a knife over her neck. Grief-stricken, Karina decides to resurrect her mother through ancient magic . . . requiring the beating heart of a king. And she knows just how to obtain one: by offering her hand in marriage to the victor of the Solstasia competition. When Malik rigs his way into the contest, they are set on a course to destroy each other. But as attraction flares between them and ancient evils stir, will they be able to see their tasks to the death?

Roseanne “Rosie” A. Brown was born in Kumasi, Ghana and immigrated to the wild jungles of central Maryland as a child. Writing was her first love, and she knew from a young age that she wanted to use the power of writing—creative and otherwise—to connect the different cultures she called home. She graduated from the University of Maryland with a Bachelor’s in Journalism and was also a teaching assistant for the school’s Jiménez-Porter Writers’ House program. Her journalistic work has been featured by Voice of America among other outlets.

On the publishing side of things, she has worked as an editorial intern at Entangled Publishing. Rosie was a 2017 Pitch Wars mentee and 2018 Pitch Wars mentor. Rosie currently lives outside Washington D.C., where in her free time she can usually be found wandering the woods, making memes, or thinking about Star Wars.

Roseanne is another author that struggles with anxiety and wrote one of her two main characters with generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), despite it being a fantasy. I don’t even think I can name a fantasy that had a character with anxiety represented so well. This was a book I read around the same time as Forest of Souls, and I loved it. The cover was beautiful, the characters were brilliant, and I just loved the world building, the magic, and the plot. It was just different to the usual fantasy books I read, and I enjoyed the variation so much I’ve had the sequel pre ordered almost a year in advance.

So, this was my 20 books by 20 chronically ill, disabled or neurodiverse authors list. Blurbs and synopsis were compiled between Goodreads and author websites, and bios were found either on Goodreads, author websites or on amazon author pages. All the information about their chronic illnesses, disabilities or neurodivergence was found online, where they had either explicitly said it or written about it, but if I have something wrong, please let me know so I can fix it!

If you have any other suggestions or know any other books and authors that should be on this list, please let me know and I’ll do my best to add it to the list as soon as possible.

Thanks for reading 😊

#bookblr #reviews #recs #books

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vannahfanfics · 5 years ago

Text

Good Morning, Sunshine

Category: Friendship Fluff, Crack Fluff

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Characters: Eijirou Kirishima, Katsuki Bakugo, Denki Kaminari, Hanta Sero, Mina Ashido

I’m not sure how this artwork by @deliathedork led to a story about Bakugo getting his wisdom teeth removed, but inspiration strikes in strange ways, I suppose LOL This is the most crack thing I have written, ever, but I enjoyed every word of it and I hope y’all do too!

Eijirou grinned wide as he pressed the “record” button on his phone, focusing the camera on Katsuki, who was stretched out on an oral surgeon’s chair. Eijirou waited with bated breath as Katsuki’s red eyes flickered open, bleary and unfocused. He was just rousing from surgery, having had all four of his wisdom teeth removed.

Oh, this was gonna be so good.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Eijirou trilled from behind the camera. Katsuki’s head bobbled on his neck like a baby’s as he struggled for a second to pinpoint Eijirou’s voice. When he focused on the red-haired boy, he squinted his eyes real tight.

“Shitty Hair?”

“Yeah, it’s me.” Eijirou responded, a hand over his mouth trying desperately to suppress his snickers. Katsuki looked around in confusion at the oral surgeon’s office room, trying to process all the equipment and the assistant who was cleaning off the bloody tools. “You just got your wisdom teeth out, Baku-bro.”

“My what?” His voice was heavy, both with the anesthesia and the thick gauze pads shoved into his cheeks, making him look like a sleepy chipmunk.

“Your wisdom teeth!” Mina repeated with a girly giggle. She came bounding into the camera frame, putting her hands on her knees as she leaned over the hazy boy. “You just had surgery! We’re here to take you home.”

Katsuki stared at her with fuzzy red eyes before he slowly lifted his hands to his cheeks to prod at them, as they were still numb.

“I can’t feel my face!” The camera shook in Eijirou’s hands as he snorted with laughter. Katsuki sounded more panicked than he ever had, his eyes going wide as he tried in vain to get the nerves in his face to work. “Is it gone?”

“Buddy. Buddy,” Hanta interjected, coming on to the other side of the screen with a goofy smile. “It’s just the anesthetic, bud. Your face is still there,” he reassured him and pulled up his phone so that Katsuki could see himself in the camera. “See?”

Katsuki brought his face super close to squint at the screen, making Hanta slap a hand to his face and quiver with barely-suppressed giggles.

“Hey, that’s me.”

Biting his bottom lip, Eijirou flipped his camera around for a second to focus on his reddening face before uttering, “It’s only been three minutes and I am losing my shit.”

He flipped it back around to follow Katsuki as he stumbled out of the oral surgeon’s office, supported between Hanta and Denki as he fumbled on wobbly knees. He kept cursing loudly, and then walked right into the floor-to-ceiling glass window next to the exit. He felt like he was going to wet himself when Katsuki angrily kicked the window with the toe of his shoe and told it to “get the fuck out of the way”; as he splayed out his palms and crackles started going off, Mina hurriedly jumped in and dragged him through the exit door, but Katsuki kept throwing glares back at the window.

Eijirou got real close to the window, close enough that his reflection was in clear view in the camera, and grinned, “Sorry about him, man, he’s just real out of it. No hard feelings, right?”

He was snickering as he scampered out of the exit door after the rest of his friends. He followed the unsteady Katsuki to Denki’s car, watching him fumble with the door for a second.

“The motherfucker won’t open!” he complained loudly, and as he scrunched up his face Eijirou thought for a hot second that he might actually burst into angry tears.

Eijirou hurriedly leaned in to open the car door for him.

“Relax, bud, it’s cool. It’s cool. Go on and get in there.”

Head swaying from side to side like he was drunk, Katsuki half-slid, half-fell into the car and began tugging insistently at his seatbelt. After a few seconds of fumbling, he actually did manage to snap it in place, and he squinted up at Eijirou as Denki propped his chin on his shoulder.

“Hey, Baku-bro, how you feelin’, man?” the blond asked teasingly. Eijirou flipped the camera around as they waited for the boy’s response, making a few funny faces into the camera before switching it back to focus on the half-asleep Katsuki.

“I feel funny.”

“I bet you do,” Hanta laughed from the other side of the car, getting into the front passenger seat. “Come on, Denki, let’s go; we gotta get Katsuki’s pain meds from the pharmacy before they close,” he called at the blond before ducking into the car. Denki quipped a quiet, “Yeah, yeah, I’m comin’” before hopping away from Eijirou and jumping into the driver’s seat.

Eijirou walked around to the other side to slide into the middle seat next to Katsuki, with Mina squished against his right. It was only a few seconds before Katsuki began tapping his index finger against the car window.

“Where’s the fish?”

“Fish?”

“Yeah, fish, Shitty Hair! What kind of shitty aquarium is this? There’s no fish!”

“Bud— oh Jesus— bud, there’s no fish. This is a car. We’re on our way to the pharmacy.” Katsuki’s head swiveled around so he could blink hazily at Eijirou. “You know, a pharmacy, where they sell medicine and stuff.”

Mina was bent over double in the seat next to him, snorting like a pig as she tried not to burst into hysterical laughter. Katsuki looked down at his lap like he was contemplating something before tipping his head to the side and looking back at the redhead.

“Can we get some vitamin gummies?”

“I’m going to piss myself!” Denki howled in the driver’s seat, and Eijirou put the camera on him as he fell into the steering wheel and accidentally honked at the person in front of him. Hanta hurriedly rolled down the window to stick his head out and shout an apology at the old woman, who had flipped Denki the bird.

“I want vitamin gummies,” Katsuki insisted loudly, grabbing the headrest of Denki’s seat. Eijirou reached out to pull his thick arms down.

“Bud. Bud, relax, we’re gonna get you some vitamin gummies. Just sit back.” Under the influence, Katsuki was surprisingly docile, allowing Eijirou to push on his chest to ease him back against the seat. Katsuki looked out the window again and then scowled deeply.

“Where the fuck are the fish?!”

“Ahahaha! Oh my— oh my God, I can’t!” Eijirou turned the camera on Mina, who was holding her belly with tears streaming down her pink cheeks as she giggled uncontrollably. “I feel like I’m gonna throw up! Help!”

“You should take some vitamin gummies, Mina,” Hanta quipped from the front seat.

“Vitamin gummies? Where?” Katsuki demanded, leaning over the central console to grab at the sleeve of Hanta’s tee shirt. Mina let out a pained cry and began laughing harder, her bubble-gum pink face a bright shade of crimson, while Eijirou coaxed Katsuki back into his seat. Once he finally got Katsuki settled back in, he flipped the camera back on himself, pointedly looking up out of the corners of his eyes as if he were addressing God.

“Please, this pharmacy better have vitamin gummies.”

“Where the fuck are the fish?!”

“Denki, drive, I’m gonna pee myself!”

“We’ve still got three minutes! There’s an empty bottle of lemon soda on the floor back there somewhere.”

Eijirou had his camera trained on his own face again, smirking as a resounding slap! echoed in the car, followed by Denki’s high-pitched yelp and Hanta’s snort of laughter.

“That’s gross! I’m not peeing in a bottle, especially in a car full of boys!”

“Would you do it in a car full of girls, though?” Hanta asked innocently. Eijirou mouthed “Oh my God” and grinned stupidly as Mina slapped him upside his head too. Hanta yelped and jumped forward into the dash, cradling his head.

“You’re being gross!” Mina whined.

“Well, now you don’t have to pee anymore, do you?” Hanta griped back.

“… Well, I didn’t until you said something! Drive!”

In the background, Katsuki kept screaming about fish and vitamin gummies. Eijirou had to inform him that no, fish could not ingest vitamin gummies, and Katsuki grunted back, “That’s fucked up. They’re missing out.”

They arrived at the pharmacy and Mina scrambled out to run to the bathroom, while Denki and Hanta went inside to purchase a bottle of extra-strength Ibuprofen. Katsuki sat patiently in the car seat, and Eijirou kept switching the camera view, making a different face each time.

Suddenly, Katsuki unbuckled his seat belt and opened the door to climb out.

“Hey, hey, where are you going?”

“Dog.”

“What?”

“There’s a dog!” Katsuki yelled as he landed unsteadily on the concrete lot. Eijirou hurriedly unbuckled his seatbelt and slid out after him just in time to capture Katsuki lumbering over to a very confused lady walking a Chihuahua puppy. Eijirou hurriedly ran over as she shrunk in on herself.

“Hey, hey, sorry, he just got his wisdom teeth out and is a little out of it,” he explained quickly as Katsuki crouched down to inspect the puppy, who was barking insistently at him. “I think he just wants to see the dog, is that okay?”

The dog owner relaxed and laughed, leaning down to pat the puppy’s head reassuringly and ask Katsuki if he wanted to hold it. The boy’s red eyes went huge and he nodded dumbly, mouth hanging open and a little blood dripping from the corner of his mouth onto the concrete.

“Aw, jeez, you’re bleeding everywhere, dude,” Eijirou laughed and grabbed the front of his shirt to hurriedly wipe at his mouth. Katsuki plunked down on his behind as the woman picked up the Chihuahua, which had calmed down and was wagging its tail furiously, and set it in Katsuki’s hands. It was such a small little thing that Katsuki could easily cup it in one big palm. “Hey, thank you, miss, I— Holy shit, Katsuki, are you crying?”

“It’s so small,” Katsuki whispered as he gently petted the baby Chihuahua’s head, tears streaming silently down his cheeks.

Eijirou was losing it at that point, trying to hold the camera steady as he wheezed behind it and ran his hand repeatedly through his spiky red hair.

“It’s so small,” Katsuki repeated like he was in awe. The Chihuahua leaned up to begin licking the tears dripping from his chin and he literally began ugly sobbing. Eijirou squatted down because he felt like his legs were about to give out, little giggles leaking out of his chest that felt swelled to the point of bursting.

“Bro- oh my God, this is too fucking funny— bro, bro, you good?”

“It’s so smalllllllll!” Katsuki tipped his head back and howled with another ugly sob. Eijirou was crying too at this point, and he flipped the camera around to showcase watery eyes and pink cheeks.

“I’m dying, this is it, guys. This is the last thing I am ever gonna do on this Earth and it is so fucking worth it— Bro, Katsuki. Hey.”

Katsuki angrily barked “What?!” at him, still cradling the Chihuahua as it began lapping up his tears again. Eijirou didn’t know what he was going to say because he was too busy wheezing and crying. Blearily, Katsuki looked down at the Chihuahua again and hugged it to his chest.

“So small…”

“Eiji? Hey, what are you doing over there?”

Eijirou flipped the camera as Mina approached rapidly from within the store.

“Look, look, Mina!”

“Oh my God! A puppy! Oh my God, is he crying?”

“He’s fucking bawling.”

“Why?”

“It’s so small!” Katsuki yelled at her, and Mina’s knees wobbled as she almost collapsed on the spot, laughing hysterically. She had to take a minute to compose herself, and at this point Hanta and Denki came out of the store with a bottle of Ibuprofen and a bottle of vitamin gummies.

It took a few minutes to get Katsuki to relinquish the Chihuahua back to its very giddy and entertained owner, but he finally did. The whole time she was walking away Katsuki kept cooing, “Bye-bye small puppy, bye-bye,” which left the four of them puddles in the parking lot. Somehow they managed to all get back in the car without pissing themselves laughing. Eijirou held the camera as Mina opened the bottle of vitamin gummies and handed two over to Katsuki.

“Look. Look, buddy, it’s your vitamin gummies.”

“Fuck yes,” Katsuki muttered and plucked them out of Mina’s hand. He tried to scoop them into his mouth and missed, and they bounced down into his lap. He didn’t seem to realize that and looked around for a second before screaming very shrilly and loudly, which scared everyone in the car shitless. Denki cursed loudly as he jerked the wheel, swerving for a second with screeching tires before righting the car; thankfully the road was empty. He looked back into the camera with a mixture between a scowl and a laugh.

“Give him his fucking vitamin gummies before he makes me crash!”

“Ahahahaha, holy shit, what the hell is happeniiiiiing?” Hanta was howling in the front seat.

Snickering, Eijirou hurriedly plucked up the vitamin gummies and put them back in Katsuki’s hands.

“Hey, hey, calm down, bud, here they are, right here.” Katsuki stared at them a minute before picking one up and nibbling on it, now the epitome of calmness. Mina was back in a fetal position wheezing and crying.

“Eijirou, you’d better send me this goddamn video.”

“Oh, it’s going on YouTube, definitely. We’re going viral, guys.”

“WHERE ARE THE FUCKING FISH?”

“Jesus Christ, I can’t, oh my God,” Eijirou wheezed as he doubled over, holding up the cell phone to record whatever Hanta and Denki were doing in the front seat. Dully, he could hear Mina say “Go left at the next light, Denki.” He took a minute to compose himself before flopping back upright, hitting the back of the seat. He flipped the camera around to look in amusement at it.

“This is the best day of my life.”

“Idiot! I said go left!” Mina screeched next to him, leaning over the center console to shake Denki’s shoulder.

“I did go left!”

“Your other left, dumbass!” Hanta shouted at him. “How did you ever get a drivers’ license?!”

“I’m a good driver!” Denki whined as he pulled a U-turn at a turnaround and glared at Hanta. “I just get nervous with so much going on!”

Eijirou was making faces in the camera again, just reacting to the hell that was breaking loose in the small camera. His eyebrows began to inch up as he caught ashy blond hair creeping into the side of the camera view, and then all of a sudden, Katsuki’s head thunked against his own.

“Hey, hey, guys, shut up, he’s asleep.”

“Seriously?” Mina whispered loudly. Denki and Hanta both glanced back and identical grins split their faces. Hanta grabbed his cell phone and snapped a photo, and then grabbed Denki’s and did the same.

“Oh, man, this is gold.”

“He’s so cute!” Denki laughed as he glanced up into the rearview mirror.

Eijirou grinned widely and bit his lip, side-eyeing the snoozing Katsuki. His mouth was hanging open, a bit of the drool-and blood-soaked gauze poking out. Eijirou reached up to pat the side of his head.

“Sleep tight, buddy. You had a hard day,” he smirked before finally stopping the video recording.

~~~~~~~~~~

Katsuki woke up just long enough to stumble in the UA dorms and totter to his bedroom, taking a dose of Ibuprofen before passing right out. It took less than five seconds for everyone to scramble down into the common room to watch Eijirou’s masterpiece, which he kept having to stop because everyone was cackling and howling too loud to hear the precious audio he had recorded. Mr. Aizawa soon came out to ask them what the hell they were laughing so hard about so Eijirou showed him the video too, and even he managed to crack a smile and snort.

The next morning Katsuki awoke groggy but fully functional, with no memory of anything he had said while under the effect of the drugs. He kept getting really mad when they would snicker behind his back, demanding to know what the hell was so funny, and they all lost their minds when Denki snatched up Mineta and screamed “It’s so small!” at the top of his lungs. Katsuki riddled out then that someone had an incriminating video of him, and he chased Eijirou all over the dorms threatening to blow him up unless he let him see it. Eijirou finally relented when he promised not to blow up his phone, and they all gathered in the living room again to see Katsuki’s reaction to his drug-induced self.

It was almost as golden as the event itself. He went pale, wide-eyed, hands over his mouth as he watched himself act utterly ridiculous. He jumped up and started shouting obscenities when he got to the part where he started sobbing over the Chihuahua and had to be restrained from destroying the phone by Hanta, Tenya, Fumikage, and Izuku. By the time they finished the video he was red-faced and sucking in heaving breaths, far beyond the point of mortified. Eijirou, between laughs, kept telling him that it was okay and it was all in good fun. He calmed down a bit, muttering something about not putting it on YouTube. Eijirou hadn’t after all, thinking it unmanly to do something like that without permission.

But Denki did, and it had ten thousand views already. Needless to say, the video went viral and became the official meme of UA, and it was easily Eijirou’s crowning achievement.

Payback sure was a bitch, though, because Katsuki had a devilish grin and phone in hand as Eijirou was going under for his own wisdom tooth surgery… But that’s a story for another time.

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to peruse my Table of Contents!

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lucidpantone · 4 years ago

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Hi :) Idk whether you're the right person to ask but I like your blog and asks and you're quite popular so I think it may get more attention. Here's the thing. In my real life I have never met anyone with depression/bipolar disorder (that I know of). So my experience/knowledge is very much based on the internet/movies/TV and well, SKAM and its remakes. I am aware that SKAM doesn't portray MI 100% real because it's still a show (or at least I think so, dont quote me on that!). However. Recently, I stumbled upon an interview somewhere on the news with a psychiatrist about bipolar disorder. She said she has been working with many patients with it. And she said that bipolar is not really manic vs depression. She said (and claimed that ALL of her many patients agreed with her) that bipolar looks like this: 94% of time severe depression, 3% mania, 3% 'normal' life. I have to admit that this really shook me. And I think you will agree it's a completely different scenario that SKAM or wtfock or SKAM France portrayed. I'd love to hear your opinion and also I'd be very grateful if you published this so more people who have more experience/knowledge on the subject can speak out too. Thank you! 😊😊😊

hey!(disclaimer this is super long) So funny enough I can kinda help answer some of this anon from my own experience but not from a medical experience or from the experience of the person who suffers from bipolar disorder. I have commented before that my roommate of 2.5 years has bipolar disorder and tho we don’t live together anymore living with him I got to experience first hand what those ups and downs that the Even character talks about 1st hand. Take into mind MI’s manifest differently for everyone no one manifestation will be the same. For example a study ran by a psychiatrist examining a sample group of people living with Bipolar you need to closely exam the participants. Are these participants homeless? or come from unstable families or environments? Then a continuous state of manic depression is also being influenced by environment. Environment plays a big part in how an MI impacts you. Why do you think routine is so essential for a lot of people, it creates stability so without knowing the nuances of the study I would just take that study as one of many studies and ultimately try to consume a large number of research findings to form the most informed opinion. Ok so personally from my experience living with my old roommate no he was not always depressed or suffering from an episode. I would say for the most part he was a functioning adult but yes they were aspects of his bipolar that effected his normal life. My old roommate was diagnosed at 17 when we moved in together he was 30. So he knew his disease really well. My old roommate was also an avid recreational drug user but he would not mix his meds and party stuff. He knew better by 30 as he had done that a lot in his 20′s and came to realize thats when he lost control.

So for the most part this was the routine of my roommate’s MI he would be good for awhile and take his meds and everything would be fine for the most part.Then he would decide to stop taking his meds usually it was triggered by a festival/concert in town or something along those lines. Then he would never get back on his meds this would last for a little while and then he would spiral. My roommate was very aware that without his meds it wouldn't take long to start exhibiting signs to the point that I could tell when something was off. Yes the manic episodes were irrational and disorganized but my roommate was pretty harmless to anyone else manic he was just super high on life for example he woke me up at 2am once because he just “needed” to go for a run. Or he brought a white school chalk board because he would get these urges to write on our walls and his gf would freak so he brought this chalk board and put it on the wall and when he was manic he would go to town. He also wanted to spend money like crazy. Luckily he was a trust fund kid so he had it but he would go in and buy a ton of shit he didn't need. Now when he was down its was different sometimes he was down because the recreational drugs would exhaust his brain and then all hell would break loose coupled with the bipolar.I wasn’t sure if he was manic or just down off synthetics or a bit of both. I did witness an organic depressive episode once tho and for my roommate he would get really nasty. Like say shit that was super hurtful to get under your skin and also he would hate anything and everything and god forbid you said something like its a “pretty day” he would be like “I hate this day. f*** the sun”. It would usually be a 2 week down period but the most intense portions of his episodes were only a 2-4 days because then my roommate would cave and call his therapist (he has been in therapy his whole adult life) and they would create a new “plan” and that means his meds. It would take about two weeks for the meds to finally regulate him and then he would be fine. A lot of my roomies episodes were self induced because he would stop his meds but when he was on meds he was fine he had moments he was blue but nothing he couldn't manage. So personally I would say every 6 months for two weeks he would experience an episode but once again it was self induced. Also my roommate was 100% responsible for triggering himself at times via his partying. He is not an idiot he knows the consequences he has had bipolar since he was 17 he knows how his brain works(he is highly aware that he is someone that will live medicated for the entirety of his life) I just think human nature gets the best of us sometimes. However I will say my roommate is one of my closest friends. I love that kid. He is married now and just had a kid. He doesn't party anymore but you know organically he will one day have an episode but for the most part once you live with him you sorta of get use to it. Its just something that happens every few months. So just plan ahead and learn to communicate a lot but once again my roommate is 30 he doesn't hide his bipolar he owns it he will even tell new friends like “hey one day I may be acting weird its probably my bipolar flaring up” (like its fucking allergies or something) but he is so use to it by now he has been living with his diagnoses so long. So you just know as his friend that eventually you will catch him during a time when it’s flaring up. Also for me I got to know him well enough I also knew when it was happening. They are signs but once again for the most part we just lived day by day like normal as long as he took medication. Oh and for my roommate personally he has only ever experienced 2/3 “dark” episodes meaning he checked himself in for his own personal safety. I hope this long explanation helps!

#lucidpantone anons

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thorne93 · 5 years ago

Text

Unforeseen Chasm (Part 44)

Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together.

Word Count:4474

Warnings: Language, arguing, meeting the parents song for this part: Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my novels). It’s a collaboration with the amazing @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo. It started as a funny “What if…?” and it evolved and got huge. This took two years to write. We are both proud and happy and we hope you enjoy it. It follows from Thor 1 to Endgame in the MCU. Some of the timelines may be off in order to fit certain people, and some characters may show up earlier or in different ways than they have in the movie. But for the most part, it follows the MCU. It also has a bit of crossover with some other Marvel characters throughout the story.

Masterlist for Unforeseen Chasm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Getting home was quick, all Shannon had to do was call the tower and have one of the suits come get her. She didn’t feel like going through traffic and she also had to get home soon to be able to get Tony to agree with letting Loki be a guest at the wedding. She knew that he would never agree to it, but she knew that if she put an ultimatum on him about getting to the wedding in an ironman suit.

“JARVIS, where is Tony at right now?” she asked the Al as she headed over to the closet to change clothes

“He is currently in the common area. Would you like me call him over?” the system replied.

“Just let him know that I’d like to talk to him about some of changes to the guest list for the wedding.”

“Right away,” was all the Al replied.

Shannon spent some time looking at some of the ideas for table decor but couldn’t seem to figure out which one so she saved some she liked to have you help her pick the next day. It’d been a few minutes when Tony walked in holding two cups with what Shannon assumed was either coffee or soda.

“Hey, babe. Back from Y/N/N’s already? How was the movie?”

“Well she wasn’t there so there was no movie night…”

“Oh? So… where were you all this time?” he wondered.

“I was still at Y/N’s. I was...I spent my evening..talking with Loki,” she told Tony as she took the cup from his hand and took a sip. She noticed it was hot soda with lemon and knew he was helping her get her throat to get healed.

“What? Why? You were alone with that bag of fucked up crazy?” he asked, sounding concerned. “Are you alright? Did he do anything to you?”

“Relax, would you? I am more than capable of handling things if they’d gotten out of control.” She felt hurt that Tony didn’t think she was capable of protecting herself. “I’m perfectly fine, he didn’t do anything. We talked and got to know more about each other, we talked about things I didn’t think I’d ever have to tell him.” She got quiet at the end hoping not to have to discuss exactly what was said.

“You… talked? So you went over for scones and tea? Come on, Shannon. What the hell went on?” he urged. There was no possible way Shannon sat and had a civilized conversation with that maniac just for fun.

“I didn’t plan on going over to talk to him. Jeez, Tony you make it sound like we don’t deserve to get on the same page and figure out how to be around each other peacefully.” Shannon raised her voice but knew she shouldn’t let it get too far lest she want to end up back in the Med Bay. “He was there, cleaning some things and was looking at an old photo album that I had thought Y/N had gotten rid of. Turns out, she didn’t, and I remembered there were some things I had hidden in the back that he would eventually find…” She was shutting down. She didn’t like bringing up the things she’d done back before college especially with how Tony had reacted when she’d told him. “I told him some things about me to clear any future disagreements.”

“I’m sure that went well,” he muttered. “Being as he’s a mass murderer and all, I’m sure your past looked like sunshine and fairies.”

“You want to talk about mass murderers?!” she shrieked, causing the lights to flicker a moment. “JARVIS, keep Bruce on call for getting me to the med bay,” she called the Al, “and send him active vitals until he sees I need to go to the Bay.”

“Right away, Miss,” he replied.

“News flash, Tony you’re getting married to one, or did you forget? Because I sure as shit didn’t. You may not forgive him but I do. I know why he did what he did. I would have done the same too if it meant keeping you safe and alive!” Her voice got louder, thankfully the walls were thick enough that no one would hear. “You don’t think I regret the things I did before I met you? Before your father got me into school and to help me get to where I am?” She felt herself shaking and had begun to breathe harder than she should be. “Listen to me, Anthony Stark, this the only time I’m going to say it: you stop treating Loki like crap because essentially he is the me I was and I don’t take to that. Whether you like it or not I’m inviting him to the wedding and you can't stop me,” she said with determination in her voice that made men quiver when they tried to undermine her.

“We’re getting married. I won’t be bullied or threatened into inviting a terrorist there. Do you have any idea who’s attending this shindig? Who would have me possibly arrested if I invited the biggest threat Earth has seen as a guest of honor? How would that look, Shannon? We work with security agencies. We work with SHIELD, the UN. We can’t have them there. That’s a no. And that’s final.” He started to turn to leave, before he whipped back around. “And don’t ever threaten me again. This can’t work if you’re going to tell me it’s your way or the highway. You may be more powerful than me physically, but last I checked, relationships don’t work that way,” he stated, anger in his voice and face.

“So I can’t act that way why because it’s a threat to you?! But The Great Tony Stark throws a fit because things don’t go how he likes and it’s totally okay?” she seethed. “Last time I checked I also get input into who's going to the wedding seeing as I’m the bride,” she said the last word harshly. “Don’t like my decision? Keep it to yourself, like I have about who you’ve invited to the wedding… fuck this, I’m not arguing anymore.” She got up off the bed. “I’m leaving.” She walked into the closet grabbed a few things and put them in a suitcase. “I”ll be out of your way, your highness,” she mocked him as she pushed her way past him.

“Jesus, did that alien prick fuck with your mind that much that you don’t care what makes me uncomfortable?” he asked, his voice slightly raised. “Clearly you can’t be left alone with him, just another reason I don’t want him at the wedding. I can’t believe you’re even thinking of inviting him, Shannon. Just because Y/N’s gone off the deep end and she decided to fuck crazy, doesn’t mean we have to, too.”

“My mind is already fucked up before I met him, before I met you!” She stopped to turn and look at him, her eyes usually a chocolate brown were a blazing red. “You think I don’t care about what makes you uncomfortable. What about me? I’ve spent most of this relationship making sure you were never uncomfortable because you always came first!” Her voice echoed, making the pictures hanging on the wall shatter. “At any moment Widow protocol could be reactivated in me and I would be a hundred times worse than what they did. Clearly we didn’t think this wedding through…” She knew this would hurt him but she didn’t care. All she wanted to do at this moment is leave. “It’s taking all the strength I have left in me not to hurt you, Tony but the more you talk it makes it worse. Did you ever stop to think that maybe you might be the reason I’m like this? That your constant hurtful words are causing this deadly mutation to get stronger?” she asked him, completely heartbroken because he couldn’t see how much it was killing her to be there now. She grabbed her bag and walked to the door. “Maybe Loki’s a terrorist, maybe he’s done unspeakable things… but he always puts Y/N, her happiness and health, above everything else… Can you say the same?”

Closing the door after herself, she walked as fast as her feet could take her. “Miss, Dr. Banner would like to have you go to the Med Bay,” the Al system announced.

“Let him know that he can find me at my parents house that he can check my vitals there, I have some equipment there and that he is to only let Y/N know of where I am. I don’t need Tony coming to the house to make things worse.” She wiped a tear from her cheek.

“Would you like me to have the car waiting for you?”

“Yes, please.”

“It should be ready in five minutes. I’ve also Let Dr. Banner know of your request,” the Al said. “ I do hope you come home soon.” If the system could express feelings you’d think you hear a hint of sadness in its voice.

“Thank you, JARVIS, update me on any changes around here and keep Tony from coming to the house?”

“As you wish, Miss Shannon. Have a good night.”

She arrived at the lobby where the car was waiting. “Hello, Happy,” she greeted him as she got to the car. “Would you please take me to my parents?” she asked him with a sad smile.

“Certainly. Do we need to stop anywhere along the way?” he asked, taking her bag from her.

“No, just straight to them. I’ll call to let them know I’m headed their way,” she said getting in the car.

Shannon called her parents, asking if she could stay a few days. Her mom was worried that there were problems between her and Tony, but Shannon gave her the white lie that Tony was involved in something and didn’t want to be bothered, and she needed a change of scenery.

As soon as she arrived, her parents welcomed her with open arms. She said she was tired and wanted to go lie down in her old room. They nodded in understanding and got her extra blankets, wishing her a good night.

-----------------

The next morning, Shannon got a text from you.

“Yo, why aren’t you in your office or lab? I brought you some tea.”

“I’m at our parents’ house. I’m taking the day off.”

“Oh no, do you feel okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just needed a break.”

“Oh, well let me know if you need anything. I’m going to work extra hard to finish up this project with Bruce before I leave.”

“Will do. Have a good day.”

With that, Shannon lied in bed all day, unsure what to do with herself. A little after lunchtime, she got another text from you.

“Hey, how would you feel about me introducing Loki to the parents?”

“Tonight?”

“Yeah, why not? Now is as good a time as any. Maybe he can use them as another resource while I’m away.”

“Yeah, okay, that’d be fine. Might be nice to have everyone together : )”

“I thought so too. I’ll ask Mom and Dad if it’s cool.”

With that, you called Tom and Diane and they said they’d be delighted to meet the new beau in your life. They said they’d make your favorite dinner and invite Shannon’s sister, and your somewhat adoptive sister Tracey, over.

As soon as you got home, you found Loki sitting and reading.

“Do you have a suit?” you asked as soon as you entered the apartment.

“I have the one Shannon got me for my first day with Strange… Why?”

You glanced at his black jeans and button down green shirt. “We’re meeting my parents tonight,” you informed with a wide grin as you made your way to your closet.

Loki was behind you in a flash.

“Your parents? Tonight? I… Did you think to ask me?”

“Would you have said yes?” you inquired, holding up two different dresses and comparing them.

“Probably not, which is why you should’ve asked me,” he stated, clearly upset.

You sighed and turned to him, putting your hands on his chest. “Love, they’re important to me. I’ve barely seen them since…” You trailed off, not wanting to bring it up again. “And I would love for you to meet them. I lived with your family for two months. Dinner with mine is too much to ask?”

“Well no, but… But I’m not prepared. What if they ask about our time in prison?”

“You lie and say you were busy,” you strictly ordered.

“And my family?”

“Be honest.”

“And our time on Sanctuary?”

“Pretend we were in Asgard.”

“This is a lot of lying, even for me.”

You made a face before backing away from him. “I promised them they would meet you as soon as you were free. With me going to Nebraska, I would really like it if your connections in this city weren’t limited to Shannon.”

“And if they despise me?” he suddenly asked, deadpanning the question.

A small smile came onto your face. “Impossible.”

“Really? So then they would be fine knowing you nearly killed yourself for me time and time again?”

“I think they would be more interested to know you endured great torture and brainwashing to spare me,” you countered.

He didn’t seem satisfied. His anxiety was still ebbing all around him.

“It will be fine,” you assured. “Just be yourself. If the truth comes out, it comes out. We can't hide our past or what we did forever.”

“Are you entirely sure you want to do this? Me being… who I am?” he asked uneasily.

“I’m extremely sure. They’re important to me, they’re important to Shannon, and you are my world. I’d love it if they knew I’d met the love of my life,” you responded as you wrapped your arms around his waist and looked up at him. “They’ve wanted me to meet a guy for a long time, to find my own happiness. Shannon has hers with Tony and they’ve wanted that for me. They’ll be thrilled to know I’ve found it. Not everyone looks for the flaws in other people,” you gently, but strictly, reminded as you let go to continue getting dressed.

“Then I will do this. I’ve wanted to meet them for some time, if I’m honest. I just wasn’t sure you wanted them to meet me,” he admitted sheepishly, toying with his hands.

“I’ve wanted them to meet you since we met on Asgard,” you confessed.

“Bit early, don’t you think?” he teased as he went to his own closet.

“Never too early to know you’ve found the one,” you shot back with an endearing, playful smile.

At that, the two of you got ready. He helped you into your dress and you helped him with his tie. It finally felt like things were coming together for you two.

____

Back at the house, Shannon had confirmed the time that you and Loki would arrive so that gave them a good amount of time to get everything prepped and ready to start making. Shannon and Diane had been in the kitchen working together to get dinner done. Seeing as Shannon was very quiet, her mom decided that she'd make some light conversation.

“So how’s work been? Seems like things have been busy since neither of you three have stopped by for dinner,” she said while slicing up the green peppers.

“Things have been pretty busy with each of us doing our own projects and with working with Shield more than ever, things have been stressful. I’m sorry none of us have come to visit you,” she told her mother as she stirred the contents in the pot. “I’ll make it up to you though, I have missed you guys so much though.”

“Have you made any new progress on details for the wedding? Finally picked out the dress yet?” She seemed to have a million questions about the wedding but Shannon was in no mood to talk about anything related to the wedding with the current situation that she and Tony were in.

“Umm… still haven’t picked out a dress yet. Y/N and I are going next week though….could you pass me the peppers? Looks like the pan is ready for them,” she replied hoping it would be enough to satisfy her mother. All the other questions were given short answers.

“Shannon, is everything alright? It seems like you don’t want to know or hear about anything for the wedding. Is there anyway that I can help?” Diane hated seeing how Shannon was currently acting but she knew better than to ask Tony. For all she knew Shannon could have come home without telling him. She would never betray her daughter’s trust in such a way. “So what’s Loki like?”

Hearing her mother drop the subject of the wedding things seem to make Shannon visibly relax. “Well he’s very reserved. Tends to spend his time reading or spending it with Y/N or working with Stephen. Who, by the way, says hello and hopes you stop by for some tea.”

“Thank you for letting me now, dear. It’s good to hear from him, let him know I’ll be by soon.”

They both went back to cooking and making sure the last few details were done.

Diane had made a mental note to ask you to talk to Shannon about what’s going on because she knew that there’s something she’s not being told but didn’t want to seem like she’s pushing for answers. She was also excited to see her three daughters in the house again making her feel loved twice as much as she always does.

Tracey arrived first, catching up with her family. She said she wasn’t currently seeing anyone, but that might change as she had her eye on a guy at the hospital. About fifteen minutes after she showed up, you and Loki arrived. You knocked on the door before turning to him and making sure his tie was straight.

Tracey answered the door, her face unreadable for a moment.

“Oh, you must be the famous Loki that I keep hearing about,” she said in a delighted tone as she shook his hand.

“Easy, Trace,” you admonished lightly as you closed the door behind you. It was cute how she wanted to see him, but you didn’t need your family scaring him off.

“It’s quite alright,” Loki assured

“Mom, Dad! He’s here!” Tracey announced loudly as she danced into the kitchen.

Her action made you blush as you looked up to Loki, holding his hand. “Sorry about that,” you apologized.

“Oh! They’re here!” Diane gushed as she emerged from the kitchen in a stylish new dress. “Dinner will be on the table in just a moment, feel free to make yourself at home,” she encouraged. “Y/N, it’s so good to see you,” she said warmly before running back in.

The next second, Tom emerged from the hall. “Hey! There she is! It’s been too long, kiddo.” He pulled you into a hug, almost too tight where you couldn’t breathe.

Once he finally let you go and the wind got back into your lungs, you agreed. “I know. I’m here now though. Tom, please meet my…” The word boyfriend didn’t sound right. He was much more than that. He was your everything. But you two weren’t engaged or married, but partner didn’t quite fit either. “Loki, this is Loki,” you said, starting again.

Loki shot you a quick look of confusion before extending his hand to your surrogate father. “Nice to meet you,” Loki offered.

“You as well. Shall we sit?” he asked, gesturing to the table.

The two of you made your way to the table with six seats. You and Loki on one side, and you assumed Shannon and Tracey would sit across from you, with Tom and Diane on either end of the table.

“So, Loki, I hear you’re a Prince in your land. That so?” Tom asked before taking a sip of water, while waiting on the food to make it to the table.

“Uh, yes. My brother was crown prince, next in line for the throne though.”

“Older?”

“Yes.”

“That can be rough. We heard about your mother’s passing, I wanted to offer my condolences.”

Loki nodded. “I appreciate that.”

Just then, the three women entered. Diane was carrying the roast, Shannon had the potatoes, and Tracey had the beans and salad.

“I hope everything tastes okay! I’m not sure what they eat on Asgard but…I hope it’ll do.” “Any food you make, Mrs. Moran will be perfectly fine. I’ve come to really enjoy Midgardian food,” Loki assured.

“Midgardian?” Diane questioned with a concerned look that she aimed at you and Shannon.

“He means Earth,” Shannon corrected and you smiled with gratitude at her.

“Oh!”

“So how are you adjusting to life here on the blue marble?” Tom wondered as he dug into the food.

Loki was taking the plate of roast, frowning as he answered. “Fine, just fine. I have a job with a sorcerer.”

“Is that your end goal?”

“Tom,” you began to chide, your face getting red. You knew he was trying to navigate if Loki had any long term plans for you two.

“What? Can’t a father know how his daughter’s boyfriend plans to support them?”

“I, uh, haven’t really thought it out. On Asgard I probably would’ve been my brother’s political advisor. Down here, I’m not too sure.” He seemed uncomfortable with the question so you gave his knee a slight squeeze under the table.

“Do you miss your home?” Diane suddenly asked.

“A little…but… uh, this is lovely as well. As long as I’m with Y/N, I’m home.” He looked down at you with love and adoration and you beamed up at him.

“Gross, get a room,” Tracey said before Shannon shot her a glare. “Oh, I meant to tell you all, I got promoted to head nurse down at the hospital!”

“That’s great, honey!” Tom congratulated as he reached over and shook her shoulder. “We’re so proud of you.”

Diane turned to you. “Y/N, have you made any headway in your research?”

“Actually,I’ll be going to Nebraska, for a bit. Jane’s got a job opening and requested me.”

Your parents gasped. “But, you just got back.”

“I know, I know, but it’s a great opportunity.”

“She’ll be doing field work, the kind she loves,” Shan added, encouraging you.

“Well, then, I guess… we support you.”

“Thank you. I feel like I should also tell you, uh, I found my birth parents.”

Tom and Diane exchanged a look.

“You did?” Tom asked, his tone unclear.

You nodded, feeling a knot form in your stomach. How would they take this? Would they even believe you?

“Uh, yeah, they… apparently lived on Asgard.”

“How’s that possible?” Tracey wondered.

“We aren’t exactly sure of all the details,” Loki suddenly interjected. “As it turns out, my mother was friends with Y/N’s parents. They went away to battle and left her in my mother’s care. They said if they didn't return, to send her someplace far away so the enemy would never come looking for her. At first, she raised her with us, but then, she sent her down to Earth, to keep her protected. My mother wiped all of our memories, so none of us remembered her. But as soon as we learned the truth, she returned our memories, and I did remember playing with Y/N a bit as a child.”

“And that’s how you ended up in that orphanage,” Diane mused. “So, so this means you two are both from Asgard?”

You meekly nodded, worried they would no longer see you as the daughter they took in.

“So what all does that mean? Are you immortal or…?” she wondered, clearly curious.

“I think so. I’ve found that I heal at great rates since I’ve visited there. I can also perform magic now. Frigga basically took everything that made me Asgardian and turned me mortal, much like when Thor was banished. When I returned though, all of it came back like a lifesource.”

“But what about now, you’ve been back on Earth for some time, right?”

“It wasn’t all about the geolocation,” you explained. “Frigga lifted her magic on me and that helps me retain my true identity.”

“It must’ve been hard, trying to figure out where you belonged,” Diane noted, her dinner all but forgotten.

“A little. My memories, my social experience, my life, have all been Earth. But I couldn’t deny how right at home I felt in Asgard. I somehow knew parts of the palace I’d never seen. I feel blessed to have both, honestly. Two homes instead of feeling like I didn’t belong anywhere.”

“That’s fantastic.”

“What powers did you have?” Tom wondered. “Are they like Shan’s?”

“No,” you assured. “No, I, uh, I have the power to cast magic. I have the ability to charge objects and throw them.”

"That is so interesting," Diane commented.

Before you knew it everyone was throwing question after question to you and Loki. All too soon, dinner had ended and you two were saying goodbye to your family.

"So what did you think?" you asked as you two walked toward the car.

"I thought they were lovely," he commented, his tone wrapped in something you couldn't detect.

"What is it?" you inquired, your brows knitted together as you opened the driver door.

The two of you climbed in and Loki was quiet for a moment, pensive. You desperately wanted to know what was in his mind, but you refrained from pushing him. You began to drive, hoping he would confide and suddenly, without much warning, he did.

"It just makes me think of Frigga and Odin, and how I wish I’d been close with them. Like you are with Tom and Diane,” he noted, his voice somber.

“You were close with Frigga,” you tried, a frown on your face. The way it came out, it sounded like a question, as if you weren’t sure if he was close with her.

“I was, she treated me like her own, I suppose. But to have them care that deeply for you, your career...us… I don’t think I would’ve ever received that from either of them.”

You pressed your lips together, sad to hear this is how he felt, and even sadder to know it was probably the truth. While you were there, they never asked Loki about dating, his studies, his work…

The rest of the ride was quiet before you two got home, to get in bed and face another day of freedom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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UC: @lokis-high-priestess

#unforeseen chasm #loki x reader #loki fic #Loki Laufeyson #tony stark #tony stark x ofc #tony stark fic #OFC Tom #OFC Diane #OFC tracey #mentions of Howard Stark

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