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bronanlynch · 4 years ago

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hamlet, much ado, CORIOLANUS, henry the fifth (guess which one I had to c&p)

tbh I assumed u were just really really excited abt coriolanus which like. valid and mood

HAMLET: Do you have any specific/creative ideas on staging a production of Hamlet?

oh boy do I........ ok first of all I would def borrow some of the set/lighting stuff from the production that I saw a few months ago (the one with ruth negga as hamlet) bc there was a lot of really really cool stuff w doors and silhouettes that I thought was super effective. also extremely a fan of having hamlet played by a woman or a transmasc actor bc like. ok. I don’t think trans!hamlet was necessarily what that production was going for but that’s how it came across to me, a transmasc person like. I’ve seen hamlet played by women in a way that felt like hamlet’s a woman in that version, regardless of how much or little they change the script/pronouns. the ruth negga version was like. oh. hamlet is trans and also even if that wasn’t what they were going for it’s still the only portrayal of a transmasc character that’s ever resonated with me personally. not to get into gender stuff but I very rarely feel like I recognize myself in fictional depictions of trans people but something abt this specific hamlet just. really vibed w me y’know? something about the mannerisms and the costuming and the way his depression isn’t specifically abt his gender stuff but that sure doesn’t help (all the layers of being referred to/referring to himself as unmanly, talking abt hating femininity contrasted w how much this version of hamlet clearly cared abt ophelia+gertrude, another reason for everyone to disapprove of his relationship, etc)

anyway tl;dr my ideal production would make hamlet trans, also I’ve been kinda vaguely considering what the costuming might look like if u set it further back in history like. more like the time that the sources shakespeare was working on were from bc then I could use the stuff I learned for my dissertation abt early medieval clothing for something

also I hate how every single production I’ve ever seen has done ophelia’s ~madness so I wanna do a version where she’s playing the same game hamlet is of like. pretending to ~go mad~ so that ppl won’t see her as a threat except it doesn’t work bc there’s a moment when she’s like. giving out the flowers and too much of her anger comes through at claudius. when she leaves the stage for the last time claudius gestures for one of his guards to follow her out with the implication that he’s having her killed (later, when gertrude comes back to say that she’s dead, so does that guard and claudius nods like. yeah good job u did the thing). also laertes tries to follow ophelia when she leaves but claudius stops him, I don’t understand why you wouldn’t play it like that he can’t just let her go like that

also also if hamlet doesn’t die in horatio’s arms what’s even the point, from a narrative perspective as well as a homoeroticism perspective. also in general horatio needs to be present throughout and like. important? bc too many production neglect horatio but like. he’s the one who makes ppl care abt hamlet anyway I’m gonna stop now before I go into an entire essay

wait no that reminds me of the actual academic essay I did write abt generational conflict in hamlet and why u gotta cast the parent generation as like. obviously older than hamlet’s generation in order to get that across. also bc lots of productions cast hamlet & gertrude closer in age than hamlet & ophelia which. hmmmm. don’t love that

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING: Go off about the best female character.

beatrice muchado is a strong contender but also everyone already loves her so I have less to say that hasn’t already been said, I would be tempted to say viola twelfthnight if I weren’t so firmly on team viola/cesario is trans, I love ophelia a lot but I hate the ~madness scenes, most of my favorite women in shakespeare productions I’ve seen have been women playing male roles like please I would love to talk abt the all-female julius caesar where brutus was a butch lesbian, or like. gwendoline christie as titania in midsummer except titania and oberon’s roles were swapped (which I have mixed feelings about bc the oberon/nick bottom stuff is played as a joke which like. to be fair that’s how titania/bottom is usually done and I know the joke isn’t actually just ‘haha they’re gay’ it’s abt the weird magic shit and the fact that puck and titania are messing with them but. y’know. the experience of being in an audience laughing at two dudes kissing did not make me personally feel great. however I fucking loved pretty much everything else about the production so it balances out to still being the best midsummer I’ve ever seen and also one of the best plays I’ve ever seen full stop)

also best is such a vague and subjective thing like. Idk I love a lot of them for different reasons, y’know? I do think beatrice and maybe juliet are the ones I would say are the best written, gertrude is a close third bc it really depends on how she’s played in any given production but one of my favorite parts of hamlet is in the last scene when she drinks the poison if it’s framed as her knowing exactly what’s going on and daring claudius to stop her and admit his own guilt

CORIOLANUS: Which gay pairing has the most evidence? (Conversely, which pairing do you wish had evidence?)

cesario/viola+orsino is canon send tweet. but really like. usually the cross-dressing heroine changes back into women’s clothing at the end to restore heteronormativity or whatever and I know that viola does say “hey I’m gonna go change” but never actually does and orsino still calls them cesario after that in one of his very last lines so like. I’m just sayin

brutus and cassius’s deaths are basically the same as romeo and juliet’s, and are therefore also a pyramus and thisbe retelling, in this essay I will

HENRY V: What is the best monologue/soliloquy? in general I’m not that into king lear but edmund’s “now gods, stand up for bastards” monologue is extremely good and sexy, somewhere there’s a recording of riz ahmed doing it that’s just. chef’s kiss

as a hamlet stan my favorite hamlet soliloquy is his first one, the one that starts with “oh that this too too sullied flesh would melt,” and ends with “but break my heart for I must hold my tongue” which not to be a basic bitch but that’s one of my favorite lines in anything ever

also antony’s funeral speech for caesar gets me (almost) every goddamn time. the one singular exception to this was the shakespeare in the park production a few years ago where they were trying to do shallow modern political commentary that really didn’t work and actively undermined the themes of the play

#sorry that this ended up being so much #me namedropping various productions I've seen but listen. I miss live theater so much #thanks!#girlfriendsofthegalaxy #answered #dreaming.txt #about me #shakespeare

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jxles · 5 years ago

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✧･ﾟ( artemis + erika linder + woman ) 𝒎𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝒎𝒊𝒂 !! have you seen ( juliet (jules) hellström ) around ? ( she/her ) has been in kaos for ( twenty-six years ). the ( twenty-six year old ) is a ( wildlife officer ) from ( kaos, greece ). people say they can be ( hard to work with ) but maybe that’s not too bad ‘cause they can also be ( tenderhearted ). whenever i think of them, i can’t help but think of ( eyes that speak for themselves, the contradiction of the softest toughness, feeling of safety and warmth ). ･ﾟ✧

( penned by lauren, 23, cst, she/her ).

hiii, i haven’t been in a group in a very long time but im excited to be here!! a lil nervous, going out of my comfort zone in some areas, but all around excited. fun fact, i had a mumu group almost just like this a couple years ago, except the difference was the gods kept their memories so they were all wilding out being human hahahah

feel free to skim this lol. but im in love w some of y’alls characters and i can’t wait to start talking to you and interacting! please feel free to message me whenever srsly! im in the discord you can find me there or pm me here.

one thing: is im very slow and have a disability and it’s rly hard for me to keep up with and concentrate on really long stuff, so keeping interactions just a bit on the shorter side will get our characters much farther with me lmao.

you can find her pinterest here, and i’ll make a playlist soon enough.

BASICS; brief about/family/small details

Honestly she might stab someone (if they actually somehow know her name) if they call her Juliet instead of Jules.

She turned 26 on October 16th (which is the traditional day in celebration of Artemis as the goddess of nature and animals).

She was born here in Kaos, I felt like it was important. Artemis was close to the nature in Greece specifically, hanging out around important rivers and forests constantly, befriending and loving the creatures in these areas. The nature of Greece was Artemis’ home, so it only made sense to me that when they were sent here she would wind up right back in it.

She’s very obviously not Grecian though, lmao. ((Erika is clearly Swedish, but German is a much more common demographic in Greece (actually one of the most common for non-native population). Scandinavia is all part of Germanic origins anyway, therefore,)) I think her family immigrated here from that region long before she was born!

She isn’t religious and has honestly never thought about it. (Laughable considering she’s a deity.)

She has a twin brother and he’s honestly like... too much for her to deal with lol. This is definitely me giving her a human brother that is the equivalent to the pain in the ass that Apollo was for her lmao. She loves him, but she will most definitely hit his ass when he’s annoying her. lskjdflskjdf

She doesn’t have a close relationship with her parents. There wasn’t really anything wrong with her upbringing (wow, me? making someone’s childhood average?) but they were never like close in the slightest. Her parents didn’t really want to be together, they only were for her and her brother, and the tenseness just radiated constantly. It wasn’t awful, but it obviously wasn’t ideal and even as a kid she’d much rather be playing with bugs in the backyard than hanging out inside. Once they’d grown up, her parents split. She has a more easy going relationship with them now, but she doesn’t feel the need to call.

She has a few tattoos here and there, for sure, but I haven’t picked them out yet.

She has two cats, and a snake. She doesn’t have a dog of her own, because she fosters them instead!

RELATIONSHIPS/SEXUALITY

TLDR below. Her gender is very difficult. I tried to explain it on my app but flailed around like a dumbass lmao. It’s a very common lesbian experience to be caught in this weird gender limbo. Not truly cis, but not really trans either. ((((Lesbians in my support groups all joke, “No gender, just d*ke” slkdflskdjf)))) So many of us connect to being a woman and womanhood only through our love for other women. And Artemis is definitely a lesbian, and I smile because through my eyes, I feel like I can see this being an experience all the way back to her. She declined and refused basically traditional forms of being “a woman” -- childbirth, marriage, sexuality specifically for men... and yet, she is the goddess of childbirth, fertility. It screams to me her love for women, and her connection to womanhood only being through other women. It’s very interesting and very complex, and very hard to explain to someone who doesn’t experience it. But yeah!!!

My character is definitely also not feminine. I don’t think Artemis is either. I look at her statue where she’s leaning and got her hand on her hip and I’m like wow that’s some serious butch energy lmao. Big d*ke. Idk!!

TLDR: Jules is (def soft butch) lesbian, and her gender is neither trans/nb, nor quite cis either.

On that... god, she loves women. Like, how can you not? They are soft, and all of them are complex, and gorgeous in so many ways. Artemis was surrounded by like 50 nymphs at all hours of the day everywhere she went lmfao. Gotta catch em all LSKDJFLDKFJ.

So, Jules is definitely a stereotypical lesbiab in that she lowkey falls in love (in some way, and not necessarily romantically, just such a deep appreciation) w every lady she meets because, uh? Women? Magical, stunning, brave, phenomenal, spectacular, showstopping.

Because of this, and Artemis’ inclination to have every lady imaginable, Jules has a very hard time being in relationships. She doesn’t have like issues with it, and isn’t like completely afraid of commitment, it’s just kind of how it is. She loves to meet new women, and learn about them, etc. Butttt it’s not out of the question, if she meets someone super special. Artemis did get stuck on Callisto for awhile.

OCCUPATION

She is a wildlife officer, so you can find her around any local parks (protected water and forests, etc) doing her thing.

Making sure people aren’t abusing the nature or the animals, watching for wounded animals, protecting hunters, etc. All kinds of stuff.

She was never really interested in college, just not into it. She’s not really the scholarly type. She could have gone into zoology or something of that nature, and she thought about it, but it ultimately just wasn’t her thing. She’s happy where she’s at.

PERSONALITY

She’s a little hard to work with. She likes to do things her own way. Unlike most kids with siblings, she didn’t enjoy giving way for her brother. But I mean he was also a dumbass (in her humble sisterly opinion lmao) and she never felt the need to bend to his ideas.

Still, she’s super kind and understanding -- uhhhhh at least with women, (she kind of >.> dislikes men-kind, always has but it’s only increased as she’s gotten older and more bitter toward ways of the world, and after an assault that isn’t necessary for intro tbh or who she is), but still.

She is so so so so so soft inside lmao. She presents very tough just kind of naturally, but watch a lady smile at her the right way and her heart will melt smh.

She is definitely not a people pleaser. She does not care. Like, at all.

Um I feel like this wasn’t very good. I probably forgot something, and probably explained too much of other things. But!!! I just want to post this now so here we go lol. I hope this works well enough. I’m not good at bios so... some facts n stuff!!! Please message me aaaaa, I also @’d and messaged some of you, as well!

#kaos:intro #{ intro.

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court-of-pokemuses · 5 years ago

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Every Eusine ship rated!

I’ve done this over on my main account @/pkmnsdarkqueen, and I think it’s kinda fun. It’s every ship on the muse from this page rated by my personal opinions. For this account I’ve been slowly working on it since January, and since this is a multimuse it took this long. I hope ya’ll enjoy!

Disclaimers directly below and the list under the cut!

strike through=my side commentary, trying to be funny, usually about ship names italicized=if asked I’d be down to rp it mostly just to see how/it it’d work * by name=I just think it’s a wildly random ship bold=ship name and who in it to help you find a certain ship highlights=they are grouped up, again in case you want to find that one ship

Took out category of Eusine and a protagonist/rival/or companion since they’re all children so it’s a hard no. A few other younger characters fit in the other categories though they’ve been judged no as well for the most part. Some shipped but ONLY in the context of the character being grown up.

Took out category of Eusine with pokemon because pokephelia. In multiship some of them have a pokemon and these have been dubbed as being one of the human’s part pokemon.

ships on ‘never ending romance’ website. Before asked yes mun has other ships she likes that aren’t listed, but Im only focusing on those listed.

Eusine w/ a Villain

Top rated ships: Diamondstud, & Uxorious shipping.

Bottom rated ships: Fanatic, Fixation & Hoax shipping.

*DiamondstudShipping - Colress & Eusine 5/10 I mean they’re both fabulous dudes who are focused on finding legendaries so I’d give it a fair shot of happening. Then again would Colress be able to put up with Eusine?

FanaticShipping - Eusine & Saturn 0/10 Hehehe, they’d kill each other. (Saturn would kill Eusine)

FixationShipping - Eusine & Giovanni 0/10 Giovanni would kill him let’s be honest.

HoaxShipping - Archer & Eusine 1/10 I.........hm.........yeah don’t really see it too much either as a long term thing. Maybe a hook up?

*UnfortunateShipping - Butch & Eusine 4/10 I mean it’s interesting you got 2 folks who like to show others up, and are fancy bois. Could kinda work I suppose.

UxoriousShipping - Eusine & Hunter J 6/10 And in this corner we have the wild ship that kinda makes sense just make Eusine more crazed. I mean they’re both obsessed with finding legendaries??? So just watch em run around trying to find certain stuff. Not much love there tho

*WorthyShipping - Cyrus & Eusine 4/10 I’m sorry but I do not see Eusine as hitting the ‘worthy’ level on that I mean he’s strictly emotion based tbh. This would be wild though to see.

Eusine w/ a champion

Top rated ships: Regent shipping

Bottom rated ships: Gnomon shipping

AeonShipping - Eusine & Cynthia 0/10 Oh gosh no, how the f is that gonna work? Like bruh I don’t think she’d put up with him.

GnomonShipping - Eusine & Steven Stone 4/10 Gnomo means gnome, so this ship is about gnomes???? Anyway moving on from that def another one night stand scenario.

MantleShipping - Eusine & Lance 4/10 Here we have another one night stand! Seriously just very few people can handle Eusine long term.

*RegentShipping - Alder & Eusine 7/10 Eh Alder did casually shoot his shot at Cynthia so if he did with Eusine def would of at least gone a round. Tho hm long term???? Maybe? I mean Alder has more patience???

SplashShipping - Eusine & Wallace 4/10 Both fabulous, but can they handle each other’s extraneous is the real question.

Eusine w/ an elite

Top rated ships: Ouroboros, and Harker shipping

Bottom rated ships: DarkMagic, MythHunter, and Elitist shipping

DarkMagicShipping - Eusine & Karen -50/10 Hehehehe, no. Yeah no even if Morty wasn’t involved in why Eusine hates her they would soon find a reason to be at each other’s throats.

ElitistShipping - Eusine & Will 1/10 Will would be sick of him pretty soon, or Eusine would be sick of him. If they didn’t chat much before hand maybe 1 night.

HarkerShipping - Eusine & Marshal 7/10 Cuter than some others I will say and I mean Marshal does seem to have more patience than some, and maybe it’d work.

MinaShipping - Eusine & Grimsley 5/10 Oh grims baby boi shipped around. Yeah I could kinda see it running better than some but again 2 dramatic bois, we’ll see how long they can take each other.

*MythHunterShipping - Drake (Orange) & Eusine 1/10 I just want to see em exploring the world trying to find crazy legends and such.

OuroborosShipping - Eusine & Flint (elite) 9/10 Kinda want to see this happen. I just imagine it being the refined boyfriend and messy other boy friend who were originally roommates.

PilgrimageShipping - Bruno & Eusine 3/10 Ye Bruno would have the patience of a saint to handle him but would it be a good relationship?

WellReadShipping - Eusine & Lucian 5/10 Hm, nerd meets fabulous extrovert. Kinda sorta maybe?

(Surprised to see everyone in the Johto league and no Koga)

Eusine w/ a gym leader

Top rated ships: Sacred, Maelstrom, and RagingInferno shipping

Bottom rated ships: Camilla, Sacrosanct, and Broxa shipping

BroxaShipping - Eusine & Winona 0/10 Winona would not put up with this man.

CamillaShipping - Eusine & Sabrina -10/10 Sabrina WOULD NOT put up with this man.

CeladonShipping - Eusine & Erika 3/10 I kinda want to see this in that Eusine can usually get away with his slightly flirty shiz and expects Erika to fall, but she just outright does not and boom he’s like,”but....hm I am intrigued.”

CorruptShipping - Bugsy & Eusine 0/10 No way in heck would Boy Scout and Eusine get along

DropletShipping - Eusine & Misty 2/10 Huh it’d be interesting but also they’d probably just fight alot.

HereticShipping - Eusine & Falkner 6/10 I think the name is funny, and brings up some interesting possibilities in au, but as the same time I kinda see it in the main timeline and wanna see it.

IntertidalZoneShipping - Eusine & Jasmine 0/10 Ye they might ship, but would it be a healthy relationship?

JustinShipping - Eusine & Elesa 0/10 Who is Justin. They would be fashionable together but trying to romance would not work.

MaelstromShipping - Eusine & Volkner 8/10 Ok maybe. Tbh Volkner and Morty have somewhat of the same vibe to me, but Volkener has a bit more sad energy.

MinakaneShipping - Eusine & Whitney 0/10 This is the first time I feel like Eusine would be annoyed and only becasue she’s just a happy ball but like all the time.

*RagingInfernoShipping - Chili & Eusine 7/10 Ok but watch em both get mad and scream like and then like cuddle afterward and both apologize.

RueShipping - Eusine & Candice 0/10 Eusine is bent on finding legendaries and Candice is all protect them. no.

SacredShipping - Eusine & Morty 1000/10 Top for the boi cause they just have alot of character moments, and also they have the same salty chemistry and I love it.

SacrosanctShipping - Eusine & Clair 0/10 Clair would hurt him first before any sparks flew.

SiWongShipping - Byron & Eusine 4/10 Eusine is your dad now Roark. So anyway I think it’s kinda interesting I like the contrast they have with each other but Idk how it’d work together.

TesseractShipping - Brock & Eusine 1/10 Please explain the name to me, are you telling me they’re Avengers now??? So anyway I kinda feel like this wouldn’t happen. Like I mean Brock is a kind soul, and Eusine is kind of a goblin.

WTFEverShipping - Brawly & Eusine 3/10 The name says it all. They’d have a one night stand, Brawly would think it was more and scream that at Eusine who’s confused why he’s mad.

Eusine w/ Professor or assistant to

CrossRegionShipping - Bill & Eusine 3/10 Bill I suppose could work but I feel like things would fall apart when Bill realizes ‘oh you don’t just like suicune in a research sense you’re a bit fanatic.”

***ForelockShipping - Eusine & Professor Sycamore 5/10 .....Ok but if Sycamore was evil maybe? Idk why specifically this, but for some reason I feel like that would vibe??? In general tho naw.

*InvestShipping - Eusine & Professor Rowan 4/10 Naw don’t see this long term but I see it going longer than most.

*LifelongDreamShipping - Eusine & Fennel 9/10 There aren’t too many heterosexual ships I see with Eusine but oddly enough I can see this one. Especially after Eusine lost suicune and they get to talk about what they want from life.

Eusine w/ a minor GAME npc

Top rated ships: Bowtie, and Value shipping

Bottom rated ships: Chaser, and Jinx shipping

*BowtieShipping - Eusine & Juggler Irwin 6/10 You know what ye, let em both be showy but one has the cool ability to juggle.

ChaserShipping - Eusine & Satsuki 2/10 Satsuki is a kimono girl about protecting the legendaries idk if she’d be down with his goal unless you just want to focus on them enjoying the journey of looking.

HarangueShipping - Eusine & Thorton 5/10 I can’t tell if Thorton is a child so that’s weird but for this we’re gonna head cannon he’s an adult. I mean kinda cute I guess with crazy pants McGee energy that Eusine has and in control Thorton. SO eh.

*JinxShipping - Eusine & Palmer 2/10 But Palmer making a hologram suicune? Eh Might be cute, but it’d need more depth than my little cute joke.

MysticPoisonShipping - Eusine & Lucy 3/10 Funny to imagine same energy as Erika, but long term I don’t see it.

PokeWifeShipping - AZ (XY) & Eusine 4/10 Someone please explain, please. I mean it’s a no from me dog, but like maybe in an alternate timeline???

*ValueShipping - Eusine & Riley 6/10 They just wanna go find legendaries. They both have the slight cool vibe and I like it.

Eusine w/ a minor ANIME/MOVIE npc

Top rated ships: Harrow, Thunder, Jones, and LegendQuestShipping/PursueShipping/RavingShipping

Bottom rated ships: 20Questions, FollowMyLeader, and Legato shipping

*20QuestionsShipping - Eusine & Flint (Kanto) 0/10 Ya’ll this is Brock’s dad. Like wut??? Brock I am your dad now. I guess the fandom just sees Eusine with dads/dad bods. what 20 questions are they asking?

*AncientPossessionShipping - King of Pokelantis & Eusine 5/10 ..........yeah if anyone was gonna end up possessed it’d be Eusine. They both want to find a legendary pokemon, but Eusine still has their heart focused on wanting to help the pokemon. Although hm idk but what if the king corrupted Eusine???

FollowMyLeaderShipping - Eusine & Molly Hale 0/10 So this is the child from the movie and I get we see her all grown but still I don’t like this.

ForeignShipping - Eusine & Harrison 3/10 This guy has a houndoom as his main and has a tie with ho-oh, I’m shocked the fandom didn’t slam him together with Karen. Anyways he doesn’t have too much depth in the way most anime NPCs do but like mayhaps

GoldbergShipping - Eusine & Noland 5/10 Another dad bod type. Anyway I see this one tho since the cold calculations of Noland may mix with Eusine’s craziness.

*HarrowShipping - Eusine & Harley 10/10 Yes def on this one. Harley is kinda intense, Eusine is intense. I think this makes sense.

JonesShipping - Eusine & Ian 8/10 There isn’t much on this guy except that he takes care of pokemon. But he has that dad bod which apparently is Eosin’s thing so sure.

LegatoShipping - Butler & Eusine 0/10 So Butler has a girlfriend for one. I honestly feel like they have the same energy but Eusine is gay.

LegendQuestShipping/PursueShipping/RavingShipping - Eusine & Lawrence III 8/10 Again this is just crazy Eusine with someone enabling him.

*MadShipping - Eusine & Tyson (Johto) 6/10 The Tyson they’re talking about it she one that forced the evolution to happen. I mean I guess but also again this would be the crazy Eusine one.

ThunderShipping - Eusine & Kudou 8/10 One gets Suicune, and one gets Raikou I mean he’s one of those anime characters that doesn’t get much character so let it happen.

WitnessShipping - Eusine & Ritchie 0/10 This guy is a rival to Ash so ya know it’s a kid, and I don’t see anything they’d connect on.

Eusine w/ Orre or Ranger npcs

SuicuneShipping - Eusine & Venus 8/10 So they’re both conceited, and focused on folks liking them?

Eusine w/ manga characters

UnworthyShipping - Eusine & Walker Guess what folks, it’s another dad-o, specifically Falkner’s.

Eusine and multiple people: (All are gonna be a no romantically because I don’t see Karen being poly, but I’ll give plot ideas)

Top rated ships: ImaginaryFriend, and Oos shipping

Bottom rated ships: MissSaigon, Erratic and CrystalIntegrity shipping

4KingsShipping - Eusine, Falkner, Morty & Lyra 3/10 I’m kinda lost on the name here, and I could see them all hanging out I guess. Maybe a couples date thing, Eusine & Morty w/ Lyra and Falkner. Where do the kings come from tho?

BromanceShipping - Eusine, Flint (Elite), Morty & Volkner 7/10 Bromance where nothing is platonic and clearly 2 couples, or heck maybe it is, anyways I like it though! CapeShipping - Eusine & Jackson (Vincent) / Eusine, Jackson (Vincent) & Lance 9/10 Ok but cape awareness club though where they all sit down and make up good reasons to have a cape, and they make PR for it cause they’re tired of getting teased. It’s a funny idea. CrystalBellShipping - Eusine, Morty & Suicune 5/10 Ok this is just Eusine completing his goal in life and morty also being there. I mean I feel like Morty would be the 1 person to support him having the pokemon but I mean it’d eventually just be his fav pokemon on his team.

CrystalIntegrityShipping - Eusine, Paul, Kris & Suicune 1/10 This is just eusine hanging out with children and a legendary pokemon what are they supposed to do?

CrystaltrioShipping - Eusine, Morty & Kris 4/10 Just a gay couple handing out with this child who defeated them both in pokemon combat. Look she just thinks they’re cool ok?

DashingFanboyShipping - Baron Alberto, Eusine & Lawrence III 9/10 3 bad bois all out wanting to catch their pokemon favorite. Please don’t leave them along longer than 5 minutes because bad things can and will happen.

EastWindShipping - Crystal, Eusine & Suicune 4/10 This is just Eusine being mad that she caught the pokemon. It makes sense tbh, but I think she’d get annoyed with him trying to convince the legendary to be his pokemon. ErraticShipping - Eusine & Morty + Eugene (Eusine) & Kudo 2/10 Ok so this is just Eusine shipped with one guy and another Eusine shipped with Morty cause Eugene and Eusine are the same person. I am confusion and I feel like Kudo and Morty would be too.

ImaginaryFriendShipping - Eusine, Lawrence III, Morty, Ho-Oh, Lugia & Suicune 10/10 .........This is just people giving them a hard time about pokemon they will never get/see isn’t it. Heh I feel like you could put more people in this thing, and I think there should just be that as a support group. IntelligenceShipping - Eusine, Lucian & Will 5/10 Bruh Lucian would lose his mind trying to deal with these two, It’d be funny to watch but poor Lucian. KarmaShipping - Eusine, Falkner, Morty & Will 5/10 What did Falkner do to deserve bad karma? And yes I say bad cause Will, Morty, and Eusine alone would cause some shiz. This is the above but with one more person and falconer stuck with it. LovelyangstyfanserviceShipping - Eusine, Falkner, Lawrence III & Morty 5/10 Ah so these are the angsty bois huh? You’re missing a few folks. Marina'sFondestDreamShipping - Eusine, Jackson (Vincent) & Lance 3/10 I think this is just a 4 way someone wants to happen. Eusine would have a good time talking to Vincent about Raikou cause it could help him find Suicune. Lance is wondering how he got wrapped up in this convo.

MisledShipping - King of Pokelantis, Ash & Eusine 4/10 So Ash got possessed by the king and Eusine would def fall into the same boat if there. Yeah the king would have 2 minions basically.

MissSaigonShipping - Brawly, Eusine & Morty 1/10 So many Eusine and Morty with another person. Hm I can’t think of much they’d have in common immediately...

MovingOnShipping - Eusine, Lawrence III & Professor Carolina 5/10 Professor Carolina helps 2 dorks get over the fact that they can’t have the legendary pokemon they want. MysticQuestShipping - Eusine, Jimmy (Kenta) & Marina (Johto) 4/10 This is just them all looking for suicune and only one gets it, spoiler it’s not Eusine

MysticShipping - Eusine, Morty & Will 6/10 Ah yes the clairvoyant, the psychic, and a fanboy. One of the most powerful forces to ever exist. Real talk though I feel like they’d just all cause trouble together.

MystifyShipping - Eusine, Morty & Whitney 3/10 Is it just me or is anyone that ships with Morty and Eusine feels like a 3rd wheel? I feel like they’d have an ok time together but idk if it’d go long term. OnMyHonorShipping - Eusine, Falkner, Morty & Clair 6/10 Ok yeah they all definitely have that ‘honor’ vibe about them but I fell like their honor systems have various levels of skew to them. It’d be interesting to get them all in a room to talk about it though.

OosShipping - Brawly, Eusine, Morty & Will 10/10 Please catch them all in some school au where they are the trouble makers of the school. Brawly is the wanna-be intimidating jock, Will is the class clown, Eusine is the dramatic theater kid, and Morty is the introvert they adopted. SacredDevotionShipping - Eusine, Morty, Ho-Oh & Suicune 9/10 They finally got the pokemon they have fan boy crushes over. Cute but I feel like they’d not realize how much for it takes to care for a legendary. That and be bad at trying to defend them, interesting thing to explore.

SacredFireShipping - Eusine, Morty & Ho-Oh 5/10 Now morty got his pokemon he wants. Kinda cool, maybe it’d show Eusine what he looks lie to other people.

SacredHonorShipping - Eusine, Falkner & Morty 3/10 Again falconer feels like the third wheel here, and idk what they’d do long term.

SuitUpShipping - Butler, Darach, Eusine, Lance & Steven Stone 6/10 All the dudes in suits huh (and Lance)? I feel like some are missing. I can see them all going shopping some time though and getting wild new styles.

TrimurtiShipping - Eusine, Giovanni & Lance 4/10 Huh....ok I mean I just see it as Lance reluctantly keeping Eusine safe from Giovanni cause Eusine would def do something to make him mad trying to act tougher than he is.

Eusine w/ Eusine

RagingEgomaniacShipping - Eusine & Eusine 10/10 He’d band himself in a heart beat, and they’d be wildly annoying to everyone else.

#muse: eusine #every ship rated

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evesbeve · 5 years ago

Note

~All. Of. Them.~ ☺

99 gay-ish asks

… you know WHAT.

FINE.

I’LL DO ALL OF THEM.

LONG ANSWER UNDER THE TAG, HA V E FUN-

1. how tall are you?

I am 159cm aka 5′3ft!

2. what is your body type?

According to the first Google Image result I got, it’s between “Banana Shape” and “Apple Shape”. I have no idea who came up with these terms. But there you go.

3. what is your favorite part about your body?

My nails-

4. is your current hair color your natural hair color?

My hair is brunette, which is also my natural hair color!

5. are you more outgoing or more shy?

I’d like to think I’m outgoing, but we all know the truth rip

6. are you more femme or butch?

Depends on the day-

7. are you tol or smol?

I definitely wouldn’t call myself tol, so smol, I guess!

8. wine mom or vodka aunt?

Sober Mom

9. weird habit?

The door has to be either fully closed or fully open. Don’t fite me on this-

10. favorite meme?

Too many to count, but this is one of my favourites right now-

but also like, most of my faves at the moment are actually memes with pictures of me and my friends XD

11. do you sing in the shower?

Hell yes!!

12. ever used a bow and arrow?

Yep!

13. are/were you a theatre kid?

(Answered here)

14. have you ever seen a broadway musical?

Nope, but I’ve seen Aladdin’s counterpart to broadway in London! So it’s like, the exact same thing, but in London XD

15. do you think musicals are cheesy?

Yes. Do I think it makes them less enjoyable though? Nope.

16. have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?

It’s a complicated story, but I have!

17. favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?

Gooood, it’s been so long since I’ve played CAH! I have no idea ;;

18. last movie you watched?

I think it was Far From Home!

19. behind the camera or in front of it?

I’m usually the one taking pictures and filming my friends (they better thank me in 10 years) but to be honest, I wish they’d take some more pics of me to look back to too. I do enjoy filming though, so I guess behind!

20. favorite tv show?

Right now, it’s definitely The Umbrella Academy!

21. meaning behind your url

My name is Evelina, and I am online

22. reason you joined tumblr

To follow a project I used to like on YouTube ^^

23. who’s your closest tumblr friend?

I mean, @clumsinessinperson, @xxwhisperapplexx, @hollsheadcanons and @spinharmony started out as tumblr friends, but now we’ve known each other for more than a year and they’re my best friends in the world ;w;

24. what’s something most people love that you hate?

Olives. Peas. Crocs.

uPDATE: i READ THAT QUESTION WRONG, I THOUGHT IT SAID THE OPPOSITE, I LOVE ALL THESE THREE THINGS

I do hate BBQ sauce with PASSION though-

25. have you ever taken narcotics?

I mean, only when I got my teeth extracted XD

26. have you had sex?

Nope.

27. have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

I’ve never sneaked out before, so nah. My phone caught me on my phone at 5am once, does that count?

28. worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?

(Answered here)

29. describe your passion without mentioning it.

The ocean’s waves clash at the coast. They drown in themselves. They help the boats move. But sometimes, the ocean is quiet.

30. describe your best friend.

Nearly impossible to describe a 100 people in one sentence, but none of them have braincells.

31. give us one thing about you that no one knows.

NOT AGAIN, ANSWERED HERE.

32. how do you feel right now?

Energetic!!

33. what is your biggest fear?

Dying

34. what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

(Answered here)

35. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

Honestly, uploading my stories.

36. have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?

MANY TIMES. But hey, that’s life. And that doesn’t mean that it’ll always disappoint you. Keep trying, everyone!

37. something you fantasize about.

MEETING MY ONLINE FRIENDS IRL ;W;

38. last time you cried and why

This morning because I had a fight with my mom lmao

39. what was the last thing that made you laugh?

Me.

40. do you really, truly miss someone right now?

Sure do *dabs*

41. who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

@xxwhisperapplexx, @clumsinessinperson, @aesthetically-bitching and my other irl fren who doesn’t have tumblr but he is a dumbass!!

42. the last time you felt broken?

SEE 38, RIP (I’m okay now tho, dw!)

43. are you starting to realize anything?

I wanna be a director or a scriptwriter or something!! Just work in the movies!!

44. are you more dominant or more submissive?

Dominant, but I can be just as submissive!

45. i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)

I’ll only date you if I love you?? Why would I date someone I don’t love?

46. do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

Uhhh look, I’m 16, so the same age, lol. And even if I was older, age doesn’t matter as long as it’s not creepy and predatory, you know?

47. describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.

I don’t have a crush at the moment, thANK GOD.

48. do you have any kinks?

Bye.

49. first thing you notice in a person?

(Answered here)

50. how can someone win your heart?

Step One: Stan Ben Hargreeves.

51. been rejected by a crush?

Nop. Never confessed-

52. have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

Yes.

53. would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

No.

54. is trust a big issue for you?

I mean, I wouldn’t trust someone I just met with my life, but I do have faith in people ^^

55. did you hang out with the person you like recently?

I do not,,, have a crush,,,

56. is confidence cute?

Everything positive is cute.

57. what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

I don’t like someone right now but if it were to happen, I wouldn’t say anything? It’s their life.

58. would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

Everyone makes me laugh. I must hate the person then XD

59. does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH AAAAA

60. ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

Yes, like a bazillion times.

61. do you want to get married

I’m open to it!

62. worst thing you’ve ever done?

Honestly, I was trying to think of a serious answer, I PROMISE, but then I remembered that when I was little my parents had pissed me off so badly, and I quoted a Barbie movie that said “You’re ruining my life!” like an angry toddler.

Then they threatened to never let me watch Barbie again because it was a bad influence, anD I MEAN. It was what it was XD

Note: They never banned Barbie.

63. three things that turn you on.

How did you know I was an android.

64. who do you hate?

Hate is a strong word, lmao.

65. favorite term of endearment?

Unironically, it’s “boo” XD

66. who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?

I WAS WONDERING IF THERE WAS A QUESTION LIKE THAT, honestly I do not remember. Probably someone from Winx.

67. intimidating girls or kind girls?

Both are valid.

68. what do you look for in a possible partner?

I don’t look, they hit me in the head.

69. do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

All. All the girls.

70. are you good at flirting?

Yes, actually XD

71. who was the first person you came out to?

Probably @aesthetically-bitching, I think!

72. do you have any friends who are wlw?

yeet

73. is your crush wlw?

don’t have a crush, but used to-

74. last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

I have no idea, I’ve known I was bi since 6th grade.

75. write a short love poem to your crush/self?

Not all the steps you walked on are stableBut that’s okayReaching the top requires a few

76. do you fall in love easily?

I’ve only fallen like in love twice. Crushes are way different, and I’d say kinda…?

77. is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Yeah. But I hate talking about it.

78. are you good at hiding your feelings?

Yep. If you notice I’m sad, I want you to notice I’m sad.

79. are you a forgiving person?

Mhm!

80. what is your “type?”

Ironically, Eudora Patch from The Umbrella Academy is a very good depiction of my type. (Note: Personality wise. Looks genuinely don’t matter to me, everyone is BEAUTIFUL.)

81. fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?

I am a little spoon inside and out-

82. tall girls or short girls?

Doesn’t matter-

83. hugs or kisses?

Hugs!! kisses kinda make me uncomfortable most of the time to be honest

84. twirl her around or get twirled?

b O T H

85. tummy kisses or thigh kisses?

Tummy-

86. hairline kisses or neck kisses?

Hairline,,,

87. play with her hair or stroke her tummy?

Hair!!

88. making out or soft kisses?

Soft kisses, definitely. Not that I’ve kissed anyone before, but oh well XD

89. hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?

Neck…? I’d say neck.

90. how confident are you in your sexuality?

It took me a while, but I am very confident in it right now!

91. when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?

Butterflies™

92. have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?

I have, and I told them absolutely nothing

93. how old were you when you realized you were into girls?

*shrugs* young XD

94. most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

All girls are cute girls. So many things.

95. do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?

THIS QUESTION IS STRESSING ME OUT, I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO CHOOSE. Honestly, Alphys and Undyne are a hard one to top, aND ALSO CANON

96. what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?

“You’re just confused.”

97. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?

… I don’t know what to tell you.

98. what is love to you?

Love is complicated.

To me, it’s not about having a partner. Actually, loving someone regardless of romantic feelings is way more important, in my opinion. These things can co-exist, and loving a friend is just as important loving a lover.

The lack of it can hurt, especially being forced out of it. But feeling love? I don’t know. It’s one of the most beautiful feelings ever. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by it.

I really love this article on it! It’s about the 8 types of love the ancient greeks had, and as I greek person myself, I think highly of it. I highly recommend reading it!

99. ask me anything. (bUt since no one specified, I’ll ask myself: Why do this and what did I learn from this?)

I did this because I am stubborn. Also I genuinely liked the questions XD

What I learned from this experience is that I really love answering questions, oops-

If you made it this far, I don’t know what to tell you. You deserve a golden star, my dude.

ANYWAY, NEVER AGAIN.

#evelina nonesense #anon #ask #gayish asks #i can't believe i did this

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incorrectmlpquotes · 6 years ago

Text

My Thoughts on Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks

Or: Are we sure this didn’t come out in 2004 rather than 2014? Because the “battle of the bands” story line feels super dated for some reason. I feel like almost every early 2000s cartoon had some sort of music contest episode, and I never liked them. I blame American Idol for making those popular.

Some History:

I’m under the impression that everything in this movie I dislike is a completely subjective thing that wouldn’t bother someone else. I know that, from a movie standpoint, this is much better than the first, but I just don’t like it as much. Everything that warrants complaint comes from a personal hangup that I have (such as: my lack of any musical ability causes me to not care at all whether their band is successful), so if you disagree, I completely understand. These are all my opinions, and I’m aware that this is probably the best of the four movies. (As stated on a previous post, I haven’t watched any of the shorts from 2017 or 2018 as of this entry)

There were a series of promotional shorts released before the movie debuted that explains how the members of the Main 5 came to play their instruments in Rainbow Dash’s band, and some other random stuff. Here’s the link to the playlist on youtube. Here’s a quick rundown of what I think:

Music to My Ears : meh

Guitar Centered : funny, but kind of mean spirited

Hamstocalypse Now : Hilarious.

Pinkie on the One : exactly what you’d expect it to be

Player Piano: a masterpiece

A Case for the Bass: Applejack is one word, why would she have AJ embroidered on the strap? I know people call her that but those aren’t her initials

Life is a Runway: There’s a reason they didn’t let Rarity write the songs

Shake Your Tale: Bad.

This was a pretty clever way to establish some musical background within the group without taking up time in the movie. It also is some sneaky foreshadowing with Trixie, which I appreciate.

In the actual movie: My nitpicks are going to be less Why is no one in class? Why is doesn’t anyone have homework? Because I realize this is a movie and depicting high school as it actually is would be boring to watch. Besides, there are plenty of other things to complain about.

We open on a scene of this film’s villains. And yes I am going to refer to them as villains instead of antagonists because 1) they are actually a threat and we see them doing bad things, and 2) other people will serve as antagonists. A villain is different from an antagonist, even though the terms are often used interchangeably.

The Dazzlings are so cool, they make a cameo four years later. Either this is some really deep foreshadowing, or by season seven the writers were so desperate for an ongoing arc, they looked to other properties. But we now know that the guardians banished them over 1,000 years ago. So they really are ancient magic. And now they have to go to high school. Talk about eternal torment…

Way to take all the credit, Starswirl

We are shown how they are a sort of siren, who feed off of people’s negativity and discord and use their beautiful enchanted voices to cause mayhem. Kind of like a mix between Ursula the sea witch and Spectra from Danny Phantom. Oh my gosh, this is the second one of these reviews that I’ve brought up Danny Phantom. Maybe this is why Butch thinks he’s so popular.

The Dazzlings, we can infer, have been exiled to the EQG-verse from Equestria. So apparently this universe is like the pony version of colonial Australia, where they send all their criminals and miscreants. A solid plan that couldn’t have any negative repercussions. The sirens see a beam of light that must be the one from the last movie. This is good news for them, but bad news for me because now I have no idea how much time has passed the two films. Has it been a couple days? Weeks? Moons? This will make a difference in regards to why people still don’t trust Sunset. But why waste time setting up the story when we can get right into the remix title card?

At this point, I can only assume that principal Celestia threatened to expel students if they told the news or the FBI about the magical winged demon that attacked the school, because no one seems too concerned about that incident.

But they have plenty of time to hurt my baby’s feelings

I’m going to be honest, when I first watched EQG I thought that Sunset was faking her remorseful act after being defeated. As cool as that would have been, she makes a much better reformed bad guy than an antagonist, because she really wasn’t in the last movie that much.

List of “evil” things Sunset Shimmer has done: send fraudulent text messages and emails that honestly could have been pretty easily disproved, made fun of Fluttershy, made fun of the steamers in the gym, somehow divided the school into cliques, ran a mostly unsuccessful smear campaign against Twilight’s bid for dance princess, threatened to destroy the portal to Equestria, transformed into a demon to hypnotize the students, and she dissed the Apple cider.

Ok, that last one is pretty evil. But what really makes this and all subsequent movies great is that we get to see her learn and grow and change from the experience into a real friend.

I am glad to see that the Main 5 have forgiven her, but no one is quite ready to absolve her of guilt. Like, I might not think she did all that much bad junk, but the students of Canterlot High seem to think she was one tier below Mussolini in terms of maniacal dictators, so I don’t blame them for being cautious. It takes a lot to earn back trust.

Back in Equestria proper, the Mane six plus Spike are sitting around waiting for the plot to affect them. They kindly provide some exposition and once again setup the fact that only Twilight can go through the portal, because the others can’t interact with themselves. So we think. I will be bringing this up when we get to The Friendship Games.

Back through the portal, Twilight gets looped into the fact that Sunset has changed her ways. It’s fair to be a little apprehensive to trust someone who, the last time you saw them, was an actual literal demon. (Don’t worry though, Twi, you’ve still got two more unicorns to reform. It’s kind of your thing.)

Don’t reject her love Twilight, it’s all I have to live for

And now it’s time to discuss the small blue elephant in the room. I feel like I really need to explain why I dislike the addition of Flash to any of the plots. He’s kind of a waste of a potential. You want to add a male character: fine. But make them an actual real fleshed-out character. The show has proven that they can do it and do it well. Sunburst and Thorax are great characters who feel like a good addition to the story. And we got a real sense of who they were in one or two twenty minute episodes. I have no clue what this guy’s purpose is except to be a love interest, and this is not the show to do that with. With very few exceptions, the main characters of MLP have not sought out romantic partners, Twilight included. Why would she choose to do so now? I mean, I get why he’s into Twilight: she’s taken the form of a cute teenage girl. But he’s a species that doesn’t even exist in Equestria. She just fell through a portal and instantly got the hots for some weird otherworldly creature…

Wait a minute. Wait just a minute. Perhaps this isn’t compulsory heterosexuality. Perhaps Twilight Sparkle is just a Monster Lover™. I can respect that.

Moving on.

It was so very smart of the writers to have the Dazzlings brainwash the principals in order to get away with this scheme. That makes so much more sense and covers any plot holes that could arise (such as, someone claiming to be a new student despite having no transcript, no grades, and no knowledge of how to hold a pen).

Does time work differently between these two universes? Has it been months in Equestria but only a week in this world? (It really threw me off that the first four season of MLP took place over one year, and these movies don’t help that). And the sad thing is, this could be easily hand-waved away by a single throw away line, but it isn’t.

The Dazzlings are already better villains than Sunset, even from a character standpoint. We know their powers, we know their motivation, and we know they are capable of bringing about an actually believable rift between friends.

Then the best song, best montage, and possibly best scene in any of these films happen: the Dazzling come into the lunchroom and hypnotize everyone. This song is beautiful and eerie and exactly what you would expect a magic spell to sound like. I also enjoy the visual representation of the bands competing (and not just because I didn’t want to hear any of them perform) that we’ll see later. To give credit where credit is due, this movies has some great visual sequences.

Give ‘em the o’l razzle dazzle

At first I thought it was unrealistic that this many kids had bands, but I realized it was probably an effect of the spell. But I might not be the best judge: I think I know maybe three people, plus myself, who don’t play an instrument. I’ll just assume that the Disney channel exists in this universe, and all these children just really want to be famous.

It’s worth sitting through this movie just to see everyone’s pajamas. That’s not weird, right? No really, the scene of them all having a big slumber party is everything I ever wanted from this series. They managed to capture everyone’s personality from an article of clothing. Now THAT’s good character design.

I get the distinct impression that the writers of this don’t like Rainbow Dash.

Oh good, references to technology that couldn’t possibly date this movie in the slightest. Wait… this is Pinkie’s house. Aren’t the Pies supposed to be like Amish or resembling Amish-type folk? What is the human equivalent of rock farmers? Not actual farmers because those exist in the pony-verse. This really confuses me, but Maude’s cameo is fantastic.

The scene with Twilight and Sunset is one of those really well-done moments that reminds me why I love the show so much. It feels really genuine, and supports my argument that it was worth having Sunset as a crappy villain just to reform her.

Ah yes, the sweet, lingering glances that totally platonic female friends share with each other late at night. I know them well.

Our girl Twily seems to be having trouble writing a spell that can double as a catchy pop song (She’s no Lana Del Rey), so they go with an old set list. How long has this band been operational? Weren’t they in a huge feud for several years?

Mac is a close second for best cameo

So we get to watch the band audition, and it goes about as well an actual high school talent show. The CMC are in the outfits from Showstoppers (which is hilarious) and Snips and Snails rap (which is disturbing). In order to keep my goblin brain from exploding while trying to figure out the ages of everyone, I’m just going to assume that this is a combination Middle School and High School. So, if Sunset won fall dance princess four years in a row, she would be in the tenth grade now, so they would be about 15-16. The Equestria Girls Holiday Comic shows Rarity driving a car, so that could be a possibility.

A. Daft. Punk. Reference. Wow. Just wow. (Note: this was more shocking before season five, when there was a character that was basically Lady Gaga. And by basically, I mean very obviously Lady Gaga. Remember when the pop culture references in this show were subtle?)

Dash’s song is quite possibly the most cringeworthy thing I have ever heard. The only defense is it does sound like something a high schooler would write.

On that note, why is Rainbow Dash the lead singer of the group? I mean, I know why, but WHY? (and yes, I am aware that her voice actress is a singer. But Ashleigh Ball uses her normal voice when she performs. Think back to all the songs RD has sung in the previous four seasons before this aired. There are not a lot of solos or high notes. When she sings as Applejack, it is beautiful, but Dash’s voice is grating sometimes)

Really? A battle of the bands is the greatest thing you’ve done at the school? That whole “stopping an actual demon with magic” was just a regular Friday for you? I’ll chalk that up to the brainwashing, otherwise I might go full on rage and throw my laptop out a window.

I guess our merry band of protagonists weren’t paying attention to big cafeteria scene, because they just now figured something suspicious is going on.

Still haven’t fixed the lights in that dim corner of lockers. Fortunately, there are many dramatic confrontations to be had.

I think we’re supposed to see Rarity’s obsession with the outfits as a ridiculous thing, but I think it’s important to distinguish this universe from the one with the professional seamstress who has unicorn magic at her disposal. This is a teenager who has school, extracurriculars, and parents to contend with. If I went through the trouble to hand-make seven costumes for my friends, then found out no one would wear them, I’d be pretty ticked off as well.

Now this is how you montage. We get to play a fun game of “guess which characters are in which band,” and seeing their “humanized” designs. Lotta bootcut pants in this show.

I’m just going to leave this here...

This is some actually effective villainy. The whole school has turned against each other. Maybe they need to learn about the magic of friendship. Unfortunately, the gang is too busy squabbling over band stuff, and Twilight is too distracted to give an overly emotional speech.

No one in the rule book does it say magically turning into a pony is grounds for disqualification...I would assume.

If we’re being honest here, the Dazzlings are better performers than the Rainbooms.

And we’ve come to the crux of things. The scene where they’re locked under the stage is the perfect example of my biggest issue with this movie. I do not like to see Mane 6 fight. I don’t like Trade Ya, I don’t like Putting Your Hoof Down, and I despise Look Before You Sleep. Seeing this otherwise close group of friends constantly have petty arguments, even if it’s for completely valid plot reasons, make me want to turn the movie off. This isn’t a criticism of the screenwriting, it is just a reason why I personally dislike Rainbow Rocks more than the other films.

Of course, they make up because this is about the magic of friendship and what not, but notice how no one actually apologizes for their behavior. No, “I’m sorry that I minimized your contribution to the group or made fun of something you were passionate about.” I realize they were under the influence of magic, but they also knew that! They knew the Dazzlings had the power to turn people against each other! An apology is just a preamble to fundamental behavior change, and if they don’t realize why they were being bad friends, how can they learn from anything?

And the real kicker is, they knew what the Dazzlings were capable of. Twilight read a book about them immediately before going through the portal. It’s not they they just learned that they spread chaos. Why are we fighting? Gee, I don’t know.

DJ-ex-machina. I’m ok with this.

To the movie’s credit, the finale really has one of the best song of the movie. And by that, I of course mean Trixie’s song. Trixie is the most fun addition to the cast. She makes for a fun antagonist, on her own and as a Pawn to the Dazzlings.

Fight scene! Fight scene! We’re gonna have a fight scene!

Now that they’ve put their petty squabbles behind them, it’s time for a big music battle. The Dazzlings pony up harness the energy of the audience to project their Equestrian selves to...I don’t know. Take over the world or something.

This isn’t even their final form

Oh. This design looked better in book form

Sunset is Magic. That’s the show.

So the stones auto-tuned them, and that made everyone mindlessly antagonistic. I’m sure there’s some clever commentary there.

T’was the magic of friendship that killed the beast.

No, you don’t get to just rejoin the plot

Thank you, Trixie.

The real story here is how Principal Celestia will pay off the press.

Thus Twilight goes back to the land of horses, Starlight has been truly forgiven, and my Netflix suggestions will never been the same again.

I want to give a big shout out to the person who put all the captions on the image gallery for this movie’s wikia page. They are funnier than I could ever hope to be.

Some general thoughts:

The scene of Twilight awkwardly yelling “Friendship is magic!” to a room of confused teenagers is the cringiest thing I’ve ever seen, but it got a good laugh out of me. Look at the Dazzlings faces in this scene. “Ok, we legitimately didn’t see that coming.”

One of the reasons that I am so drawn to the show is that they are able to create conflict and drama without being mean-spirited. I have to deal with that kind of nonsense so much in my daily life, I just don’t want to subject myself to eighty minutes of it. But i get it: from a narrative standpoint, this is the most cohesive. There’s some good set up and pay off, and an actually intimidating villain who is actually present in the plot.

I love Trixie so much, I should be dead. She really is the star of the show. I forgot how little we saw of her before season six.

The stinger, oh the stinger. Forget what I said about the pajama party; it was worth sitting through this for the promise of an interesting sequel.

We’ll get to you soon, you marvelous lesbian disaster.

Starlight’s redemption is the best part of this franchise, and it’s worth all the nonsense to hear Rebecca Shoichet’s angelic voice.

From a purely film standpoint, this is probably the best one of the bunch. It has a clear structure, everyone’s motivations check out, there’s an actual climax that feels earned. I just don’t enjoy it. There are worse ways to spend eighty minutes 3.7/5

The worst thing to come from this, however, is the terrifying merchandise:

What Fresh Hell is This?

#MLP:FiM #MLP Equestria Girls #equestrian girls review #equestria girls #rainbow rocks #more of my opinions

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huesofthemorning · 6 years ago

Text

Shopping Time (Butch/Femme JunnaNana)

Characters: Junna, Nana, Futaba, Claudine

Words: 5500

Summary: Junna and Nana have a heart to heart. Futaba and Claudine take them shopping. It’s an adventure.

Featuring Trans!Nana and NB!Junna

Picture of Junna’s and Nana’s outfits!

“Oh my,” Kaoruko said as Junna stepped into the classroom. “Isn’t that an impressive sight?”

Junna paused, eyes flicking between the door and the grinning Kaoruko. Did she dare ask, or did she escape while she still could? Unfortunately, she didn’t have a choice. It was dress rehearsal for their two week play of Romeo and Juliet, and as one of the leads, she absolutely couldn’t miss it.

“...Excuse me?” Junna finally asked, bracing herself for the answer.

“I’m talking about your outfit, of course,” Kaoruko said, waving a hand at Junna’s clothing choice. In a two week play, there wasn’t time for Class B to design and sew costumes; instead, each actress was told to wear whatever she owned that fit the role. For Junna, that meant dressing as Romeo.

It hadn’t been a surprise to anyone that Junna had scored a lead role, not in a Shakespeare play. What had been a shock was Hikari snatching the role of Juliet. Most of the class had expected Nana to play opposite Junna in a love story, including Nana herself. Junna had been the one to veto the idea.

“Kagura-san knows Shakespeare better,” Junna had argued, pointedly not looking at Nana. And it was true, to the dismay of the rest of the class. They had to remind Junna and Hikari every single practice session that no one else knew the lines in English, and to please follow the Japanese script. Nana stayed quiet the whole time, standing off to the side with her script dangling from her fingers. It didn’t take long to memorize the handful of lines of a background character.

Junna still had to apologize for that. She found Nana on the other side of the room, watching her with a surprised expression. Junna sent her a small smile before turning back to Kaoruko.

“What about my outfit?” she asked. It was a fairly simple affair, she thought. Dark blue button down shirt, a pair of old jeans, and the school’s standard, white and red gym shoes.

“Well first off, it’s hideous,” Kaoruko said.

“Yeah, it’s pretty bad,” Futaba chimed in, joining the pair. The rest of the group was starting to trickle over too, like moths to a flame. Maybe one day that fire would be stoked by something other than the potential for Junna’s embarrassment.

“It’s in character,” Junna argued. “Romeo was a rich teenage boy who liked running around the streets flirting with girls. He would have owned nice clothes, and he would have worn them to impress said girls, but even he wouldn’t have wanted to wear dress pants when walking outside all day, hence he would have--”

“Romeo’s dead,” Futaba said.

“W-well…” Junna stumbled to a halt. “That’s- that’s not relevant, and also not accurate, he was never technically alive in the first place--”

“More importantly,” Kaoruko interrupted, regaining control of the conversation. “I want to know how you did that!” Kaoruko exclaimed, pointing accusingly at Junna’s chest.

“...What?”

“What do you mean, ‘what’? We’ve had numerous discussions about this, Junna-han! You have the biggest chest in the dorm, and you just walked in flat as a board. What gives!”

“...Oh.” Junna ran a hand down her chest. It wasn’t truly flat, not really, but the shirt was loose enough to mask the little shape there was.

“That is pretty impressive,” Claudine agreed. Maya and Hikari nodded. Nana was still hanging back, just a bit, but she seemed intrigued as well.

“I like it!” Karen announced, bouncing up and down. “You look like a boy! It’s cool!”

Junna rolled her eyes. “It’s just a binder. A compression shirt. It’s nothing special.”

“Why do you own a binder?” Mahiru asked.

“Why not?”

“Um…”

“‘Cause most 17 year old girls don’t own that stuff?” Claudine tried. “Did you buy this for the play?”

“No, of course not. I’ve owned this for years.”

“Junna-han, you’re the weirdest girl I’ve ever met.”

“Wait a sec,” Futaba said, lowering her voice so she wouldn’t be overheard by the rest of the class. “Is this a boy thing? Like, are you a weird girl, or are you, actually, you know.”

Junna stared blankly at Futaba. It took several seconds for her to realize what Futaba was trying to imply. “Oh. Oh, no. I don’t care.”

“What do you mean, you don’t care?”

Everyone was looking at her in varying states of confusion and concern. Junna sighed. Was it really such a hard concept to grasp?

“Boy or girl,” Junna stated firmly, “it doesn’t matter. I don’t see a difference. I’m Hoshimi Junna. I’m me. That’s all that’s important.”

“Oooooooh!” Karen clapped at the declaration. Mahiru and Hikari shook their heads.

“Fair enough,” Futaba shrugged.

“You’re still a weird person,” Kaoruko decided.

“No weirder than the rest of you,” Junna said. “Now come on, we should start rehearsal.”

She pushed past the group and made her way to the stage. It didn’t bother her, saying that stuff out loud. Junna had made up her mind long ago that if she decided something, she would follow that decision with confidence. She couldn’t move forward if she wavered.

Still, the support of her friends meant more than she would say. It warmed her; lifted a weight of her shoulders. Junna held on that feeling. Memorized it. Then, finally, she let herself acknowledge the thought tingling in the back of her mind:

Nana was frowning the whole time…

Nana was nervous. Nana was nervous about so many things, she didn't know where to begin. Half of them were surely nothing more than her overthinking, repeating tiny thoughts over and over until they snowballed into something too big to ignore. The other half... well, the other half was probably the same, if she was honest. Meaningless little moments that got stuck in her head. She needed to shake them out, needed this lump in her throat to melt, needed to stop being so--

"Nana?"

Nana jumped. Junna's questioning look started to turn into one of concern, and Nana felt her heart drop. She threw on a bright smile, hoping Junna wouldn't notice her trembling lips. "It's fine, it's fine! You startled me, is all. What's up?"

But of course, Junna noticed.

She took a moment to think, tapping her fingers against the desk. Nana sat on the edge of her bed and waited, trying not to fidget. Junna liked to get her thoughts in order before she spoke, liked to arrange her words so they meant exactly what she wanted them to mean, nothing more, nothing less.

Sometimes, Nana tried to picture what the inside of Junna’s brain must be like. A library, for sure. Shelves and shelves of words, all carefully organized. She imagined Junna walking down the halls, stacks of books rising far above her head, carefully inspecting each and every one.

In contrast, Nana’s head felt like a complete and utter mess. Like a bunch of monkeys wreaking havoc on a grocery store in their search for bananas, and the janitor had quit long ago. Seventeen years of life and an extra fifty on top, and still she could never match Junna. And there the nervousness rose up again like a wave, threatening to drown her:

Was Junna getting bored of her?

Beautiful, intelligent, perfect Junna. Nana knew it was unfair, knew Junna would scold her if she could hear her thoughts, but sometimes Nana wondered if she was worthy to stand next to Junna on stage. After all, Junna hadn’t wanted Nana to play opposite her in Romeo and Juliet. And she had never once mentioned feeling like--

“I’m sorry.”

“Eh?” Nana stared up at Junna, uncomprehending.

Junna took a deep breath and continued. “I should have said this earlier, and I apologize for that too. But… you’re upset that I didn’t want you to play Juliet, right?”

“...Mm.” Nana wrapped her arms around herself, looking down at the floor. “But that’s alright. You love Shakespeare. It’s only natural that you’d want the best person to be your partner, and Hikari-chan is certainly that.”

“It has nothing to do with talent,” Junna said firmly. She sat down in Nana’s chair, reaching for Nana’s hands and holding them tightly in her own, waiting patiently for Nana to look back at her. “It’s nothing to do with talent,” she repeated again when Nana did, gentler this time. “Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy. More than that, it’s a tragedy masquerading as a love story. Perhaps it’s selfish of me, but I don’t want you playing a role in something like that. I don’t want you to play any more tragedies.”

Starlight was a tragedy. Starlight hurt. Nana hadn’t even thought about the pain intrinsic to Romeo and Juliet, the pain she’d have to act out over and over and over again, but Junna… Junna was always looking out for her. Always, always, always.

“Sorry,” Junna said, running her thumbs over Nana’s knuckles as a few tears slipped down Nana’s face. “I’ll explain myself better next time, promise.”

“Thank you,” Nana whispered. If she were better with words, she’d say all the many things she was thankful for, but for now she left it at that and trusted Junna to understand.

Junna smiled. “Good now?” she asked, squeezing Nana’s hands. “Or is there something else?”

Nana felt her chest tighten. There was something else, of course there was something else, but it was still too new. She didn’t want to say it. She didn’t want to risk ruining the balance Junna had created.

Balance. How could she maintain it? Junna had given it to her, so she must give it back.

“You first,” Nana said. “Is there anything you want to talk about first?”

“So,” Futaba said, hanging upside down off Claudine’s bed. “Junna, huh?”

Claudine snorted. “What a loser. That stage kiss with Hikari? Worst thing I’ve ever seen. The teacher should have let me demonstrate, I could absolutely do better!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. You’re better than all of us at everything. But that’s not what I was talking about. What’d you think about Junna’s little speech?”

“That gender stuff? Seemed like pretty standard Hoshimi Junna to me. I don’t think she gives a shit about anything not stage related.” Claudine turned a page in her fashion magazine, frowning as she saw the cost of a pair of glittery heels. Not that she couldn’t afford them, of course, but what kind of statement would they make? She didn’t want someone like Tendo Maya to think she was trying too hard. “Or Banana related,” she added as afterthought. “The stage and Banana: her two passions.”

“Sounds about right. Hey, isn’t Banana trans too?”

“Probably. Not that I’ve ever asked her, of course.”

“Kaoruko keeps complaining that Banana never joins her in the bath.”

“That doesn’t mean anything. No one in their right mind would join Kaoruko in the bath.”

“Yeah…” Futaba sighed. She slid farther off the bed, hair brushing the floor. Claudine had talked her ear off about clothes earlier, and now, caught up in it, she was scrolling through pictures of high tops on her phone. “You know, I bet Junna’d look pretty good with more boyish clothes.”

“You’re just upset that your attempts at making Tendo Maya butch failed.”

“No, I’d say you’re the one upset about that.”

“Hah? Excusez moi?”

“You want to see Tendo wear a tux just as much as the rest of us, don’t deny it.”

Claudine stayed resolutely silent, flipping faster through her magazine. She didn’t need to see Futaba’s face to know she was smirking. “You realize,” she finally said, refusing to let Futaba win the conversation, “if you want Junna to be your backup butch, you’re going to have to dress her yourself. She has 0 sense of style.”

“Hey, I’ll do it. At least she won’t make me spend an hour in the lingerie section like Kaoruko does.” Futaba pulled herself onto the bed, thinking through the idea. “That could be good, actually, taking her shopping. Show that we’re supportive friends.”

“Are we though?”

“We’re supportive.”

“But are we friends?”

Futaba shrugged. “Probably?”

“Hm.” Claudine closed her magazine and looked up at Futaba. “If you’re making Junna butch, I want to make Banana femme. With those legs of hers, she could rock a miniskirt.”

“Hell yeah. Shopping trip it is then.”

“If we call this a double date, will Kaoruko hire a hitman to kill me?”

“Would you care if she did?”

“I dare her to.”

“Then sure, double date it is.”

“Is there something else?” Junna asked. It was rarely just one thing with Nana, Junna had learned. Nana had too many layers. Too many thoughts all piled up on top of each other. It took time for Junna to untangle them all.

After a moment, Nana replied: “You first. Is there anything you want to talk about first?”

That was a yes, then. A yes, Nana did have something, but she didn’t want to bring it up, and she was hoping Junna would get distracted and forget. If Junna was smart, she’d say no. She’d say that she was fine, and start coaxing the problem out of Nana. If she was smarter, she’d say yes. She’d say yes, she did have something, and they would talk it out and reach a mutual understanding. Surely it would be better for both of them. Surely it was the right decision. The smart decision.

Sometimes, Junna hated being smart.

“Actually…” she began, hesitantly, unused to opening up like this.

Nana seemed surprised too. “Actually?” she pressed, leaning forward.

Junna took a steadying breath. “I wanted to talk about what I said in class today. Or rather, I think I should, just to… to clear up any confusion. If you had any.”

Nana froze, and it clicked for Junna, then, that this was likely the second thing Nana wanted to talk about. She should have guessed it earlier. In that case, talking about it was for the best, she told herself. Two birds with one stone.

“I’m not… confused about it,” Nana said slowly. “If that’s the way you feel, then that’s the way you feel! And I’ll support you! But...”

“But?” Junna asked, holding her relief at bay until she heard the rest of the story.

“But…” Nana chewed her lip, staring off into the distance. Finally she gave a sheepish smile and said, “you never told me about it.”

Ah.

Now Junna understood.

What a fool she was.

“Not- not that you had to, of course!” Nana was quick to add. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to! I just would have thought, since I’m…”

“That’s why, actually,” Junna said, finally relaxing. Nana wasn’t upset with her. Not that Junna would have expected her to be, but it was always better to hear it said. Now all she had to do was explain her thoughts. That wasn’t a problem. “For you, the distinction between being a girl or a boy is important, right? If someone called you a boy, you’d be upset. And rightfully so! But for me, it’s meaningless. I could go my whole life being a called a boy, and I doubt I’d care. So while we’re similar in some ways, in other ways we’re completely different. I didn’t want you to think that because I felt my way, you had to feel that way too. That’s why I didn’t say anything.”

“Oh.” Nana frowned, thinking it over.

“Make sense?” Junna asked. It was completely logical, in her opinion. Whether or not she was supposed to be this logical over a decision with emotional impact was a question she wasn’t going to answer.

“Yep!” Nana said, bright and shining once again. “Junna-chan is always looking out for me, huh?”

“Of course!” Junna was grinning now too, unable to help herself when faced with the sun that was Nana. “I’m the class president, after all!”

“You’re the president of my heart,” Nana said with a terrible attempt at a serious expression.

Junna snorted, reaching forward to poke Nana in the stomach. “I think that’s the worst pickup line yet.”

“Aw, Junna-chan! Well, what if I just pick you up then?”

Nana’s hands were on her waist before she could react, pulling her into the bed. Junna was laughing; Nana was, too, both of them giddy with the relief that comes after important discussions. Everything was fine now, Junna thought as Nana pulled her into a kiss. There was nothing more to worry about.

“Rise and shine, losers, we’re going shopping!” Claudine shouted as she threw the door open. “Come on, up! Up!”

“Believe me, Saijo-san, I would if I could,” Junna said, her voice muffled by Nana’s arm thrown over her face. It was Sunday morning, and instead of her usual Sunday morning breakfast routine, Nana had opted for crawling into bed with Junna and cuddling close. An hour later and she had managed to roll herself sideways across the bed, half on top of Junna and her legs halfway to the floor. Claudine bit back her laughter at the sight.

“Should I take a picture, or?”

“You can do whatever you want if you get her off me.”

“Ah, young love.” Claudine snapped a photo of Junna’s annoyed glare, then went to free her from her banana scented prison. She grabbed hold of Nana’s shoulders, rolling her off Junna and wincing as Nana rolled right onto the floor. “Oops. She’s a heavy sleeper, huh?”

“In all senses of the word.” Junna sighed in relief and sat up, rubbing her stiff neck. “What did you say about shopping?”

“Oh, right! Futaba and I are taking you two clothes shopping.”

“...Why?”

“Because we want to.”

“That’s not a very convincing argument.”

“Hey, without me you’d still be trapped in bed. You owe me now.”

“Fair enough.” Junna frowned at Nana, poking her with her foot. “Nana. Are you seriously still asleep?”

“Maybe,” came the mumbled reply. Nana blearily opened her eyes, smiling as the first thing she saw was Junna’s face. “Good morning, Junna-chan!”

“You almost smothered me again, you know.”

“That’s because Junna-chan is really comfy!”

Junna let out a heavy sigh. “We’ll be down soon, Saijo-san.”

Looking at Nana’s sleepy face, Claudine wasn’t quite sure she believed them. Well, if anyone was trustworthy in this dorm, it was Junna. “Don’t take too long, we have a lot of shopping to do! Oh, and make sure you bring your binder.”

Junna looked at her in surprise. “What? Why?”

“Are we-” Nana yawned, blinking a few a times to wake herself up. “Are we doing a play?”

“No, Futaba wants to dress Junna like a boy.”

“Oooh, good idea! Boyish Junna-chan is cute!”

“This is because of what I said a couple days ago, isn’t it?” Junna asked, already knowing the answer.

“Could be,” Claudine answered, shrugging. “Or it’s Futaba being lonely ‘cause she has no other butch in the dorm. I still haven’t figured out which it is.”

“Hm. Well, I don’t mind wearing it, so that’s fine.”

“Fantastique!”

Nana hummed the whole way to the store, holding Junna’s hand and swinging it back and forth as they walked.

“You seem happy,” Junna commented. “Do you really enjoy clothes shopping this much?”

“Mmmm, maybe? I think it will be fun! It’s like a date!”

“A date…”

“We’re splitting you two up, you know,” Futaba said. “You won’t see each other until we’re done.”

“Ehh? I wanted to see Junna-chan try on clothes…” Nana pouted, shoulders drooping.

“Careful, Banana,” Claudine said. “Keep this up and you’ll reach Kaoruko levels of clinginess.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m clingy?”

Claudine snorted; Junna covered her mouth, trying desperately not to laugh. Futaba didn’t even make the attempt. “Boy, Banana, have I got some news for you!”

“Eh?” Nana looked around blankly, not understanding. Junna patted her arm.

“We’ll talk later.”

“Okay?”

“Don’t worry, Banana,” Claudine said, hooking an arm through Nana’s and pulling her away from Junna. “I’ll take good care of you. Now come on!”

Claudine led the way into the clothing store and headed straight for the dresses, towing Nana along.

“I’m a little worried,” Junna said, following Futaba to the opposite side.

“Come on, clothes shopping isn’t that bad.”

“No, not that. Nana. She gets a little… strange sometimes. When she’s on her own.”

“Eh, I’m sure it’s fine. Kuroko’s with her.”

“That’s what I’m worried about.” Junna stopped at a rack of polos, fingering the material. “So. What are we looking for, exactly?”

“I dunno. Something cool looking.”

“You don’t know? Wasn’t this your idea in the first place?”

Futaba shrugged. “Hey, I only said it would be a good idea. I never promised good execution.”

“I expected better of you.”

“That’s your problem, Junna. You expect too much of us. You forget we’re all idiots.”

“I wish I could forget.” Junna rifled through a rack of shirts, frowning at the options. With no idea of what she was looking for, she pulled out the first thing that seemed close to her size. “Something like this?”

“Nah. Too feminine.”

“We’re in the men’s section.”

“So?”

“...Okay,” Junna finally said, giving up on making sense of this whole adventure. She put the shirt back, drumming her fingers on the rack as she looked around. “Oh! I know!”

Futaba followed her across the store. After a moment it was clear what Junna was heading for; Futaba couldn’t believe she hadn’t predicted it. With how much of a nerd Junna was, she should have been preparing for it the whole way there.

Junna turned to her with a grin, holding up her find. “How about--”

“Absolutely not.”

“But it’s boyish--”

“It’s ugly.”

“I disagree--”

“Junna, if you want to wear a sweater vest, you’re going to have to beat me in a fist fight.”

Junna lowered the argyle monstrosity and sized Futaba up. “I bet I could take you.”

“Yeah? You wanna go?” Futaba took a step towards Junna, fist raised. Junna conceded immediately.

“On second thought, maybe not.”

“Kuro-chan, Kuro-chan!” Nana bounced over to Claudine, a bundle of clothes in her arms.

Claudine looked up from the rack of dresses she'd been inspecting, eager to see what Nana had come back with. "Oh, nice! What'd you find?"

"A bunch of stuff! Let's see..." Nana held up the first shirt. It was white, a big green frog pasted right in the middle. Claudine frowned. "Isn't it cute? And then there's this one," Nana continued, holding up a pair of dark green pants. A few small frogs decorated the pockets. "I think they'd look good together!"

"Banana, I said we were getting you a dress," Claudine said. "Also, this is the 7th frog item so far. Where are you finding these?"

"What do you mean? They're really easy to spot! But don't worry, I found a dress too!" Nana showed off her last find, a yellow dress with ruffled sleeves and a frog shaped pocket. It was cute, Claudine admitted, except for one major problem:

"Banana, that's a dress for a literal five year old."

"Yep! I found it in the kid's section!"

"Why were you in the kid's section? We're shopping for you!"

Nana pouted, holding the dress tight to her chest. "But the kid's section has the most frog stuff."

"And you can buy all the froggy kid stuff you want in ten years when you and Junna have a million children. But right now, we're trying to make you look hot. So put that back!"

Nana reluctantly agreed, returning the clothing to their original spots. She made a mental note to come back later.

"Much better," Claudine said when Nana returned. "Now try this on." She shoved a polka dot blue dress at Nana and pushed her towards the dressing room.

"I don't know," Nana said, "it doesn't have any frogs on it."

"Does everything you own have to have frogs?"

Nana considered the question for a moment. "No," she finally decided. "It could have bananas instead."

"Absolutely not! Too much yellow will clash with your hair. Trust me, I know from experience."

"If you say so... Why are we trying to make me hot again?"

"Because the fact that you don't dress to your potential is a crime against humanity. Now shush! Go try on that dress! And while you do, I'm going to find you some lingerie."

"Oh!" Nana said as Claudine closed the door on her. "See if they have any frogs--"

"No."

"Here, try this," Futaba said, handing Junna a pair of sweatpants. Junna sighed as she took them, heading back into the changing room for what had to be the 10th time.

"Have you figured out your criteria for good pants yet?"

"Yeah. Whatever looks the most butch."

"That's not very helpful." Junna emerged a moment later, looking hopefully at Futaba. "Good?" They felt nice, at the very least. Junna had never been one for sweatpants, but she'd wear them for the rest of her life if it meant they could move on.

"Nah," Futaba said, shaking her head and crushing Junna's hopes. "The color's all wrong."

"They're black."

"There's lots of different blacks."

"You know," Junna said, ignoring that statement and taking the next pair of black pants Futaba handed her, "if your goal is to make me butch, won't that ruin your Sailor Moon theory?"

Futaba grinned. "God, I love our Sailor Moon theory."

The two of them had spent hours hashing it out a few weeks back: between the nine of them and the nine senshi in Sailor Moon, who would match who? It was the most important conversation of their life. And a surprisingly easy one, too, aside from the infamous Uranus/Neptune dispute.

"So do I," Junna said from the changing room. "But my point still stands: your sole reasoning for you being Uranus was that you were the butchest of the group. Yet here you are, trying to make me more butch."

"What, are you saying you're gonna take my title? No offense, Junna, but I think I'm safe."

"Probably," Junna agreed, showing off the next pair of pants. Another no from Futaba. Junna sighed. "I still say butchness isn't the right metric though. Tendo-san fits the role better."

"And like I said: she doesn't have a motorcycle."

"She has everything else though! The talent, the distantness, the mild disdain for people lesser than her--"

"Doesn't matter. Not unless she starts calling Karen 'kitten'."

"You don't call her that either."

"I could start."

"I think she's more of a dog."

"Don't be a smartass, Mercury. Hey- those ones look pretty good."

"Do you think so?" Junna spun around, showing off the pants from every angle. They felt the same as all the others, but if Futaba was happy, she'd take it.

"Sure. Why not."

"What do you mean, why not? We've been at this for forever, and that's the best response you have?"

"I mean, they're just the same as all the others."

Junna stared at her in shock. "Wait, wait! If they were all the same, why did you make me try on fifteen of them!?"

"I wanted to see how long you'd keep going," Futaba said, grinning at Junna's frustrated groan.

"I hate you."

“Mercury doesn’t know how to hate.”

“Don’t worry, she’s a quick learner.”

"You're a disaster," Claudine said, watching in awe as Nana stumbled around.

"Well, I've never really worn heels before-- woah!" Nana wobbled her way into the nearest shoe rack, grabbing it for balance and nearly knocking it over in the process.

"Unbelievable. I’m talking to our teacher; we need to add this to our curriculum.” Claudine took hold of Nana’s arm, pulling her over to the chair. Nana sighed gratefully.

“Is walking in heels really that important?”

“Bien sûr! Of course! How are you going to be femme if you can’t walk in heels?”

“I don’t really care if I’m femme though… You and Kaoruko-chan do a much better job at that than me!”

“Hah! Kaoruko! You’re not a true femme until you’ve walked down the streets of Paris in five inch heels!”

“Okay?”

“All I’m saying is that I’m a better femme than Kaoruko.”

Nana hummed absentmindedly, looking around at the mass of shoes Claudine had collected. “Do any of these have shorter heels? I don’t think I could match your five inches! But I could maybe do two?”

“Two inches barely counts as a heel. But I guess it’ll do. You’re tall enough anyways.” Claudine rummaged through the pile, pulling out a pair of pink shoes. “Here, this will match the dress we found.”

“Oh, cute!” Nana slipped the shoes on and stood, smiling as she found her balance.

Claudine nodded in approval. “I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you say something was cute that wasn’t Junna or frog related.”

“I think lots of things are cute! Junna-chan and frogs are just really really cute.”

“Yeah? What else is cute?”

“Hmm.” Nana tapped her chin, grinning slyly. “The way you were saying Maya-chan’s name in your sleep the other day, after you fell asleep on the couch?”

Claudine turned red. “Th-that! That definitely didn’t happen! You’re making that up!”

“Correct!”

“Huh?”

“What I really think is cute is Kuro-chan’s embarrassed face!”

Claudine stared up at Nana, mouth hanging open. “You…! You’re the worst of the group sometimes, you know that?”

Nana simply laughed, twirling around in her heels. She did the move so neatly that Claudine was forced to wonder if all her earlier wobbling had been an act. It had happened before: Nana liked to stay in the middle of the pack during their dance lessons, but on the rare occasions Claudine caught her practicing on her own, she flew through the steps better than Maya could. Looking at Nana’s bright grin, Claudine had the feeling she’d been tricked again.

“How do you manage to be just as frustrating as her?”

“Hm?”

Claudine sighed. “Never mind. Let’s go meet up with Futaba and Junna. It’s time to show you off!”

“Oh, good,” Junna said as Claudine and Nana walked up, “you’re both alive.”

“Junna-chan!” Nana bounded over, giving Junna a hug. Junna rolled her eyes and patted her on the back.

“Did you think we’d kill each other or something?” Claudine asked.

“I figured either she’d kill you with all the frog stuff she found, or you’d kill her to stop all frogs.”

“It came pretty close.”

“Junna and I almost got in a fight,” Futaba said. Nana looked over in surprise.

“We did not,” Junna protested.

“You challenged me!”

“That- It was a statement, that’s all!”

“It better have been,” Claudine said, “cause there’s no way you’d survive a fight with Futaba. Or anyone, for that matter.”

Junna pouted, crossing her arms. “I’d do okay against Kagura.”

“With her knife?”

“Don’t worry Junna-chan, I can protect you!”

“...Let’s go try on those clothes.”

Nana emerged from the dressing room first. She was wearing a knee length pink dress with matching pink heels. Frilly white socks and white belt completed the outfit. Nana gave a little twirl, the dress spinning around her. Futaba and Claudine clapped.

“We went with a sleeveless dress to show off her arms,” Claudine explained.

“Good choice.” Futaba high fived her.

“You look nice,” Junna said, stepping out of her dressing room and smiling up at Nana. “You should wear dresses more often. They suit you.”

Nana beamed. “Junna-chan looks super good too!” She patted her dress, frowning when she remembered its lack of pockets. “Ah- I don’t have my phone...”

“That’s fine. Our camera crew over there has it covered.” Junna nodded her head at Futaba and Claudine, who were indeed busy taking a multitude of photos.

“Come on, Jun!” Claudine called. “Strike a pose!”

Junna sighed and turned properly towards her, sticking her hands in her pockets. She was wearing the black sweatpants Futaba had tormented her with, a blue varsity jacket with white sleeves, and blue and white vans. Futaba came over and stuck a black and red snapback on her head.

“There. Look complete! Feeling butch now?”

“Sure?”

“That’s the spirit!”

Nana draped her arms over Junna’s shoulders and rested her chin on Junna’s head. “This was fun!”

“...It was,” Junna reluctantly agreed. “Thank you. Both of you.”

“Consider it a thank you for absorbing Banana’s frog obsession so the rest of you don’t have to deal with it,” Claudine said.

“Don’t worry, Kuro-chan! One day you’ll find your own frog princess, and then you’ll understand.”

“Banana, that’s terrifying.”

“Does that mean Junna’s your frog princess?” Futaba asked.

“Yes!”

“Make up your minds,” Junna said, frowning. “Am I supposed to be a princess or butch?”

Futaba crossed her arms, thinking. “You know, I don’t think you’re either. I think you’re eternally just a nerd.”

“Can I wear my sweater vest then?”

“No.”

#shoujo kageki revue starlight #revue starlight #junnanana #futaba is the only one who makes it out of this trip unscathed #she has to deal with kaoruko 24/7 though so its fair #my stuff

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sparxwrites · 6 years ago

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huh. add all the weird gender essentialism to the “don’t ship nott” nonsense and you eventually realize that the cr fandom is incredibly weird about gnc and non-conventionally attractive women and their sex/romantic lives. also i love the idea of trans jesterfjord (with trans woman jester or trans man fjord, or both)!!! i so wish that was a bigger thing in fandom.

ya it’s like..... i wanted to give people the benefit of the doubt with the nott and the whole “she might be underage” thing, but like. all the discourse around that was “so you can’t ship her” not “so what’s the implication of a 16yo equivalent running around Doing Murder with a bunch of adults”. plus when she said she was “of child-bearing age” (which, no, does not mean 14+ unless you want to be super pedo about it) and everyone went “noooo she could still be a child”, i just kind of... nah. the number of people still uncomfortable with shipping nott / seeing her sexually even after finding out she’s a mother is frankly just... look, ppl can ship who they want, and i get not wanting to ship a character you don’t find attractive (fair enough!), but the amount of very deliberate non-sexualisation of her both pre- and post-reveal makes me raise my eyebrows. let the goblin fuck, guys, cmon; even if You Personally don’t think she’s hot, at least acknowledge that she has had sex and has sexual desires and romantic feelings. sighs.

(yet more proof that most of the monsterfuckers on tumblr are lying tbh)

(also, that’s not fandom, that’s just. tumblr specifically, but irl as well. no one likes gnc/unattractive women. gnc women especially get a lot of shit in liberal spaces where “masc privilege” and “when are u going to transition then? uwu” or repeatedly using “they” pronouns after being told not to are frequent anti-butch/gnc dog whistles. it’s... gross. plus i do also genuinely think it’s people being weird about lesbians, too; like i said in my original post, fandom (but also wider liberal spaces tbh) are just desperate to try and introduce dick literally everywhere, whether bc of thinly-veiled / unanalysed homophobia, or an attempt at virtue signalling their “wokeness” re trans issues. you specifically see the “one of them is a trans woman” trope with lesbian ships, and very rarely with m/f ships, and i don’t think that’s a coincidence.)

tbh i threw out the jester/fjord as a random example of a fairly popular het pairing w little to no trans headcanons but like... the more i think abt it the more i’m kinda genuinely Into It, actually? good shit tbh. hard for people to put any of the usual shitty stuff into that they do for trans headcanons, i’m into it, especially both of them being trans and neither of them realising until they do they “hey so there’s sth u should know before we get naked” talk, and then there’s a lot of giggling when they both try and do the “hey so” talk at the same time. giggling during sex negotiation / sex is So Good tbh.

#anonymous #ask #this is not fic #wank //#just in case lol

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softshelltaakos · 6 years ago

Text

what’s up everybody! it’s time for part 2 of my taz graphic novel review.

part one covered (most of) my beef with the writing and storytelling choices. this part is gonna cover character designs!!! you should know going into this that my opinions are not positive. this post is also a lot less analytical in tone than part 1, because art is not my forte.

disclaimer: i love the mcelroys. i truly do. taz has gotten me through some very difficult stuff and i have a tattoo. all this to say i’m not doing this because i hate them or because i like hating things. if you feel the need to message me about how i am overreacting, specifically to green taako, or about how i should just calm down and ignore it, or about how it’s sad that i’m getting so worked up instead of just enjoying the show, i’ve heard it and i don’t care. you will not be taken seriously. save yourself the energy.

there are spoilers for the graphic novel under the cut.

alright. i’m getting the elephant in the room out of the way first because it’s the most important thing to address, and once it’s out of my system i’ll feel better goofing on the rest of the designs. as i mentioned in the disclaimer: Green Taako Is Bad.

[ID: a panel focusing on taako. he’s skinny and minty green with chin-length light blonde hair and a big, pointy nose.]

now, a lot of people have made posts about this before, and i’m not saying anything new about it by any means. i’m also not the most equipped person to talk about why green taako is bad, because i’m a white gentile (i’ve heard conflicting opinions on whether or not green taako is antisemitic, but it feels remiss not to mention that there’s been discussion) and therefore not part of any groups affected by this whole debacle, but in short: when pressed for more diversity, specifically in taako’s case as a pretty large chunk of his arc involves literally inventing a mexican cultural food (fun note: that’s never mentioned in this book,) carey pietsch decided he should be green and the mcelroys were down with it. this is not an issue that cropped up when this design was released; it was something that there was already a ton of discourse surrounding, and it should never have gotten concepts drawn, let alone made it to publish.

this article by natt cuesta has been linked before on the subject, and i think it’s a good, concise explanation of why green taako is bad as well as why aracial characters in general are bad. this is a racist design.

now that we’ve gotten those ethical ramifications out of the way... i’m sorry, but it’s an ugly design, lmao. he looks like a palette-swapped version of pearl from steven universe with less character. the ONLY thing about this design that i like is the prominent lower lashes, if only because they’re the only thing that keeps him from looking entirely generic. because, like, y’all, when has anything about taako been generic?

[ID: a panel focusing on magnus. he’s a muscular fair-skinned man with auburn hair, a bushy beard, and a scar over his left eye.]

generic is a word that’s going to come up a lot over the course of this review, because i genuinely can’t think of a more apt descriptor for pietsch’s designs. it feels like she went with the lowest common denominator of every character’s design, a synthesis of all of the most popular (and most boring) ones, except in instances where that would lend any personality to a character’s design. magnus fits what brief description we’re given in the podcast: auburn hair. beard. big. and i guess that’s all you need?

i understand that by appealing to the most common and basic designs for these characters you’re inviting a lot less ire than you might by going with something more individual, so i get the motivation behind it -- or i would, if her designs hadn’t always been about this dull. but it’s bizarre to me that in a story as unique as the balance campaign, we ended up with the most basic ass Fantasy Hero lookin’ dude in the world as one of our protagonists.

i just really don’t have a lot to say about this. i’m just bored by it.

[ID: a panel of merle. he has medium-dark skin with a smooth white bun and beard.]

merle is simultaneously the design i like most out of the boys and the one that throws me the most, because i feel like he’s the most out on a limb one. which... oof. most merle designs i see give him a floral motif (i guess he has a few petals in his hair, maybe?) and big coke-bottle glasses, and i miss those things with this design, but at least it doesn’t totally feel like pietsch threw every merle she could get her hands on into a blender and poured it out on a page, although honestly, that might have been more satisfying. people do some really fun shit with their merle designs, but again, he’s. generic.

as the cuesta article mentions, with how much of an issue it was to get any of the boys to be poc in the first place and in conjunction with minty up there, this design also feels like tokenism -- an appeasement rather than an honest attempt at diversity or god forbid because the artist actually headcanons merle as a person of color. personally, i wish that she’d gone a step beyond re-coloring his skin and idk given him a natural hairstyle or something. he still feels very much like a recolor to me rather than a character who was designed as a person of color from the beginning.

i feel like he looks more like a cleric than he looks like a merle, which i feel like is pretty contradictory to who merle is.

[ID: a cutaway showing griffin, a white man with brown hair and glasses wearing a collared shirt.]

i’ve said before that it feels a little odd to talk about her design of a real person, so i’ll keep this brief, but... you know how every drawing of a basic white dude looks a little bit like griffin mcelroy? you know how that one arthur character looks a little bit like griffin mcelroy? you know how everyone is constantly messaging mysillycomics about how her avatar looks like griffin mcelroy?

how did carey pietsch manage to actively attempt to draw griffin mcelroy and miss the mark? it boggles the mind. he doesn’t not look like griffin, i guess, but he doesn’t look like griffin, either. i don’t know, man

[ID: a generic gerblin. he has yellowy-green skin, slight tusks or fangs, and weird, nubby little horn-type things.]

i hate these gerblins. they are ugly. next

[ID: two images of klaarg/g’nash. he’s a bugbear with brown fur and yellow eyes as well as a mouth full of pointy teeth. in the first image he looks pissed off; in the second he’s starry-eyed and delighted.]

klaarg is probably my favorite design in the book, and that’s just because he looks like a cute dog for most of the time he’s on the page. he’s fluffy and i love klaarg anyway, so like. did not take a lot to reach this mark. especially considering how i feel about most of the other designs lmfao

i do definitely think he keeps up the trend of looking generic, though.

[ID: an image of barry bluejeans. he looks like tom arnold, kind of; he’s square-jawed and white with thick-rimmed glasses. he also has a light brown mullet.]

i hate this. i hate the mullet. i’m sorry, y’all, i really, truly, cannot stand the mullet. i don’t feel like barry has mullet energy. i feel like it’s too powerful a move for him. it wouldn’t be a good move, mind you, but it would be a big one. i don’t know y’all it’s just bad

[ID: an image of killian. she’s a green-skinned orc woman with prominent eyelashes, eyebrows, and tusks, and straight brown hair.]

i can’t have been the only one who was hoping for a badass, visibly muscular, maybe even butch killian design, right? that wasn’t just me being a big old lesbian, that’s a pretty common theme of killian designs? i guess kudos for going out on a limb again, but then, like, take the kudos back for going out on the most boring limb possible again. i could hang with the face if her hair wasn’t so boring, but it’s... it’s so boring

[ID: an image of magic brian. he’s a drow with long white hair and an oblong face and oddly shaped nose.]

for how many of her designs are syntheses of popular ones, i..... don’t understand how this happened. i don’t understand how whimiscal and flamboyant magic brian who’s often drawn as taako-but-a-goth-dark-elf ended up looking like this. he looks like he used to play football and got his nose busted up and peaked in fantasy high school. he looks like the first quarter of a monster factory video where the thing’s just ugly but doesn’t have a personality or any endearing traits yet. he didn’t have to be the goth twink we all know he is but what.......... is this

[ID: an image of gundren rockseeker/bogard. he’s a light-skinned dwarf with dark long hair and a matching beard.]

..........listen i know they’re cousins and distant cousins at that but all of merle’s cousins are light-skinned and, like, not to say that that can’t happen but having them be anywhere near merle’s skin tone would’ve been such an easy way to help bolster the obviously inaccurate idea that this is a work concerned with diverse character designs, or rather to help ppl claim it was being bolstered, and yet

[ID: avi, a fair-skinned man with long dark hair kept up in a ponytail and slight scruff on his face.]

i feel like maybe avi is intended to be east asian so i think at this point that brings the count up to a whole two characters of color. we’re almost done with the book. cool. he’s cute, i guess, but guess what word i’m about to say again (it’s generic)

[ID: a panel of several unnamed cameo characters. from right to left: carey fangbattle, a light blue dragonborn; brad bradson, a green orc man with a long brown ponytail; and presumably lucas miller, a tan human with glasses and dark hair.]

ok. deep breaths.

first off, there’s another panel w these three as well as boyland, who looks fine, but i didn’t grab that one bc it’s harder to make out detail. carey is cute. brad is fine.

i assume the third guy is lucas miller because i’m not entirely sure who else he would be, and... oof! as you may know i can’t stand lucas miller, which has nothing to do with his necromancy or nerdiness and everything to do with the various human rights violations he commits in the small time he’s got focus as well as the fact that he’s got a theoretical redemption arc that’s not actually an arc so much as us being told he’s better now. lucas is an entitled jackass who repeatedly uses other people’s bodies and minds without their consent, from the obvious offense of using the bugbears as brainwashed chore-doers (read: slaves) to the less-oft discussed dragging of noelle and others out of the astral plane into robot bodies, again to do his chores for him. because of this, it has always sat very uncomfortably with me when people make lucas a poc, because everything about him screams Shitty White Nerd Boy to me. it sits extra uncomfortably coming from carey pietsch, given how white all of her other designs are.

it’s a little hard to tell because i took all these pics with my phone camera in my room’s lighting so they’re not super high fidelity or anything, but pietsch’s lucas is noticeably darker than any other character we’ve seen so far save merle. maybe he’s just a white guy with a tan, but all the same, it strikes me as incredibly skeevy to have one of so few characters of color be this fucking guy.

[ID: johann, a black man with an oblong face and textured dark hair.]

johann’s design is fine, although this is a similar face shape to that brian from earlier and i just. i don’t. understand it. it’s not especially interesting, but hey, at least he’s not another generic white guy.

that being said, as i mentioned in part 1 of this review, johann’s role is severely cut in this -- he’s reduced to three panels, when in the show itself he’s the one who escorts the boys to the voidfish’s chamber and inoculates them. as i mentioned in that post i understand that they shifted it some to give lucretia a more prominent entrance, but as i also mentioned in that post, they should have compensated for that. three panels.

johann is not a character with a great deal of screentime as it is, but he’s a character with a major impact. he is the reason story and song happens. his song serves as a direct foil to john’s nihilistic conversion of his own home plane into the hunger. the fact that he’s been reduced to three panels with little to no characterization at this point, especially in conjunction with the fact that he’s one of very few poc, makes me really, really uncomfortable. avi is in more panels in this book than johann is, and while i love avi and as i said i am parsing him as an asian dude, he’s also still light-skinned enough and the style is nondescript enough that there are definitely people who will parse him as white, and also, avi’s role in the story is not as big as johann’s.

it doesn’t sit right with me.

[ID: an image of davenport, a fair-skinned man with a big red mustache and slicked back red hair.]

ginger davenport with a big mustache. groundbreaking.

[ID: an image of lucretia, a slender black woman with short white hair dressed in blue layers.]

and finally, lucretia. now, i’m biased, and it’s hard for me to see a lucretia design i don’t like. i also think that this is, compared to a lot of the others at least, one of the more interesting designs in the book, at least as far as her clothes go. it’s not a long robe that would be hard to move in, and i appreciate that -- it strikes me as a pretty practical outfit while also being ornamental and wizard-y. and she’s pretty, and she’s not whitewashed, and that’s all great. i like her earrings.

all that being said, i feel like it’s not enough. luc’s hair continues a theme with merle’s and johann’s (as well as the preview we’ve seen of angus,) which is that it strikes me as very low-effort on pietsch’s part. it’s short and it’s definitely not straight, but it doesn’t feel to me like it had as much thought put into it as, say, minty green taako’s hair. we could’ve had a lucretia with a big beautiful afro, or long box braids, or so many other natural hairstyles; we got this. it’s not bad, but i do think it’s disappointing. without going looking for it and without being a person who reads a great deal about character design, i’ve seen a fair amount of discussion from black women (artists, writers, and none of the above) about the portrayal of black women as it pertains to their hair. they’re never designed to be as feminine as their white counterparts. their hair is never treated with the same amount of detail or respect as their white counterparts. it’s short, maybe curly if you’re lucky.

i’m gonna circle back quickly to killian’s hair. it’s long and smooth and kept down, despite the fact that killian is an action-oriented women and might not want it to be in her face all the time -- it could have at least been braided or in a bun. it could’ve been short! and that would’ve made sense. and i don’t mean to say that lucretia couldn’t have short hair, but she’s a very elegant woman whose dress is described as intricate. she wears business regalia. she could have any number of hairstyles, from something elaborate to something simple but more out-of-the-box than this, but she doesn’t. i found this on a quick hunt through my ref tag -- it’s a tutorial for drawing black folks with just a small selection of interesting things you can do with afrotextured hair. these resources aren’t hard to find! and i’m doing this for fun -- carey pietsch is a professional artist who was paid for these designs. if she’d put in more than the bare minimum effort, we could’ve had some really interesting shit going on, but she didn’t.

and that’s the core of the issue here. i truly do not feel like pietsch put the same amount of care into the designs for the few characters of color we see as she did into the white ones, and that’s upsetting and emblematic of a larger problem in the work: neither pietsch nor the mcelroys put in very much care at all for the fans of color who spoke up and asked for representation.i know i said i was getting taako out of the way first so the majority of the post could be goof-heavy, but goddamn, y’all, it’s hard to goof about when it’s so blatantly shitty. pietsch’s designs are boring at best and racist at worst, not to mention conspicuously lacking in anyone who is not skinny, muscular, or a dwarf. people have praised this thing so uncritically, including people whose opinions i generally really respect, as if the fact that the mcelroys signing off on green taako made it above reproach.

it didn’t, by the way. there’s no such thing as an unproblematic fav, because everybody fucks something up now and then, but even then, this is a pretty egregious fuck-up! and it was willful!

i’m not saying y’all need to burn your copies of the gn or stop listening to the mcelroys entirely or anything of the sort -- you may remember the disclaimer at the top of the post where i say i really, really love them, and more specifically, i really love taz: balance. but i am BEGGING YOU to think critically about their work. good, good boys can do bad, bad things. white people can produce work that’s racist even if they’re gay women. it’s not mean to critique the boys and it’s not homophobic (or god forbid reverse racist, which is still not a real thing) to critique carey.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ the real kicker of this whole thing for me is that there’s a small fanart gallery in the back of the book. most of them aren’t labeled with the artist’s handles, just their names, but there are some truly beautiful pieces featuring diverse designs -- galacticjonah and milkychai both have beautiful latino taakos featured! galacticjonah’s is fat, too! but even after the backlash against green taako, even aside from that being the design that people are going to accept as canonical, there are pieces in the gallery of green taako, as if doubling down on it was the right move.

and by the way, yeah, i’ve read griffin’s apology. but i thought we all learned in kindergarten that an apology doesn’t count if you don’t act on it.

#prim.txt #tazposting #tazmeta #taz: balance #taz balance #taz graphic novel

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