#she’s a deeply troubled woman who wanted someone to love and care for her and knew he would

[annyankers]

As a furious sprusilla lover and a spuffy enjoyer there is no greater hell than reading season 2 based spuffy fics (or any fic where dru actually plays a real role really) and seeing just how drusilla and sprusilla is mangled. Like there are canonical relationship issues, especially in S2, but the way people write how she treats spike…. Like we get it your unbelievably petty and unable to comprehend her character or their relationship

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Faking It | Jeon Jungkook | Chapter One

Summary: Being divorced by the time you're thirty isn't the best feeling in the world but what happens when your parents find someone from your past that's in a similar boat? Pairing: f!reader (30) x Single Dad Jungkook (33) (Arranged Marriage Slow Burn?) Word Count: 11.3k (oh man holy shit) Warnings: Troubles with conceiving/seeing pregnancies to full term, Jungkook's first wife passed away in childbirth. (These themes will be spoken about throughout the fic and I will add extra warnings when need be in future chapters) a/n: Okay this one is gonna be a long one (in terms of chapter length, idk how many parts there will be) I'm really really in love with this story line so I hope you'll come along this cute, silly, awkward, heartwarming and heartbreaking journey with me 🥰 p.s. I've been brainstorming with @kkusadmirer (ofc 🤭) about this fic for a while now and I've just fallen in love with these characters too much that I had to get at least one part out. Okay okay enough from me. I hope you enjoy! (barely edited per usual I'm sry 😅)

"You should start dating again" my mom says to me, a dinner with a table for two this time since she said she wanted to talk to me about something important. If I would've known it was to nag me about something like this again I would've declined the invitation.

"Mom I already told you, I just got divo-" "You got divorced last year" she cuts me off and I sigh, knowing I'll probably get no where with this argument but continue on nevertheless.

"Point being, it hasn't been that long since Robert and I got divorced. I need time and space to figure out what I want out of life. I'm not interested in rushing into another marriage just for it to fail again" I explain and she simply downs the rest of her champagne in response, polishing it off in record time.

"You don't want to end up an old maid who didn't give me any grandchildren do you?" she says, repeating the same old argument again. "Mom I'm thirty, not forty five. I still have plenty of time to worry about babies and getting married again" I argue and she rolls her eyes before asking for another glass when the waiter passes by.

"You should at least try. Don't you like going out on dates?" she asks and I sigh, hating having this conversation over and over again.

"Dating was fun in my twenties but now that I'm more interested in finding someone to settle down with, it seems like all the guys that are remotely my age and happen to be decent human beings are already married" I explain and watch how she immediately takes her glass of champagne off the table once it's placed in front of her.

I'm glad she's drinking because having this conversation with her when she's sober is even more painful.

"You're exaggerating honey. I'm sure there is a fine young man just waiting for you around the corner" but before I'm able to respond to her, her eyes suddenly light up and she quickly gets out of her seat.

"Is it really you?" she says and another woman around her age that I've never seen before comes up to greet her. "How are you? It's been so long!" the mystery woman says and they quickly share an embrace before she turns to face me.

"And who is this beautiful young woman here with you?" she asks, making me shy away from them. "Oh this is my daughter y/n. Y/n this is Mrs. Jeon" she introduces us and tells me all about how they used to go to college together.

"Oh wow I think I remember my mom mentioning you before. You used to come over when I was little right?" I question, now remembering seeing her face in some of the pictures in my baby album.

"That's right! Little Jungkook and I used to come visit you all the time when you were just a teeny tiny little thing. You were the easiest baby I've ever come across, always sleeping and when you woke up you were as happy as can be" she rambles and I get a warm feeling in my chest, loving to have met someone who clearly cared so deeply for my mother and I.

"Who's Jungkook" I ask, looking back and forth between the two of them. "Jungkook is my son, he's just a few years older than you. I remember he was so fascinated by you, always wanting to come over and would watch over you as you slept, never causing a fuss as long as you were around" she says and I blush at the fact that her son would care about me just as much if not more than she does.

"How is he? Is he doing alright?" my mother asks and Mrs. Jeon gets a somber look on her face eyes fluttering to the floor before responding.

"Actually, he lost his wife a few years ago. She passed away after she gave birth to their daughter" she mumbles and I feel my chest tighten up at the thought of someone so young losing their life to something that is supposed to be so beautiful.

"My condolences to you all" I say, my eyes going glossy and she smiles in return, the memory bringing a tear to her eye as well. "Thank you love, that's very kind of you" she says, placing a hand on my shoulder before she clears her throat and blinks back her tears, wanting to put on a brave face in public.

"Why don't you come visit us at our home tomorrow evening? I would love to catch up and it would be good if the kids got reacquainted again" my mother suggests and I glare at her, knowing exactly what she's doing but also knowing there's no way I could stop her. 

"I would love that! Our husbands might enjoy catching up too since they used to get along so well" Mrs. Jeon points out. "Then it's settled! How would you feel about making it a dinner instead?" my mother questions, digging us deeper into this evening we'll all be spending together. "I think that sounds perfect!" she agrees and I tune out the rest of the conversation, already trying to mentally prepare myself for the scheming I know my mother has planned.

~~~~

Kicking off my shoes and walking into my apartment I'm greeted by the serene sound of silence. 

My black tuxedo cat meows as he jumps down from his cat tower and stretches for a second before coming over to greet me. "Hi Salem" I say, scooping him up and carrying him with me into my bedroom where I plop him down in the middle of my bed. "Mom only invited me to dinner because she wanted to tell me to start dating again" I relay to him, while I walk around my room, grabbing all the things I'll need to get ready for bed.

"I should've known she was up to something when she decided to invite me out on a random Wednesday night to go to my favorite restaurant. If the previous glances I had of the totals on those receipts didn't clue me in enough I don't know what would" I say in disbelief, having convinced myself hours earlier that it might've been about something good instead of another chance to nag me about something.

"I don't know why I even bother sometimes. She just has this worst case scenario mindset that I'm going to die alone and not leave a legacy. I understand that I'm their only child but with the way she talks, you would think I was well into my forties already" I say, verbally processing to him while he curls up into a ball, his eyes watch me walk back and forth until I walk into the en-suite bathroom to turn on the shower.

"Thanks for always listening to me Salem" I say, walking back over to him and scratching his head, "Don't know what I would do without you" I mumble before walking back over to the bathroom and closing the door.

Looking in the mirror I study my features, my hair styled just how I like it, my brows perfectly shaped but when I get to my eyes I notice it. I notice why my mother has gotten so worried about me.

It's as if the light's gone out of them. It's more than just 'Hey it's been a long day and I'm tired' no it's 'I don't even know what I'm doing here anymore' and for the first time, I admit to myself that I truly feel that way.

I reach for my cleanser and quickly wash off the little makeup that I still have on, lips completely plain and gone back to their natural color and some how my cheeks don't seem to be as rosy anymore after I had made sure to put on some more blush today to bring some color back to my face. Maybe it's not the makeup that's been washing me out, but the way that I've been living.

I will admit my days consist of going to work and coming home and doing that same thing over and over again. I don't really go out much and I only have a few friends but ever since I got divorced I just end up politely declining any sort of invitation I get from them. Doesn't matter if it's dinner or drinks or clubbing or even just a shopping trip.

I just can't get myself wanting to do anything anymore.

I step into the shower and I flinch slightly at the burning sensation the hot water brings to me but adjust it and step further under the stream once it's just to my liking. While going though my shower routine mindlessly I start trying to get to the bottom of what has got me living like this.

Robert wasn't the best husband in the world, mainly because he cheated on me but before that things were good between us. He made me laugh and was a perfect gentleman that always made me feel special and when we got married I swear I thought I couldn't be happier. 

It felt like my life was falling into place, our life.

Until it wasn't.

I'm knocked out of my train of thought when I hear Salem pawing at the door and remember now that in my whirl winded state of mind I forgot to feed him. "Sorry Salem I'll be right out!" I call out for him and he meows in response. I swear that cat is more intelligent than I am most days.

I finish up my uninteresting night as I always do, turning out the lights and cuddling up with Salem until I eventually fall asleep but it took a little longer tonight. Thoughts full of what my future might look like if I don't start living instead of just existing. 

As the 'what ifs' plague my mind they eventually drown themselves out as that same welcoming feeling of calm finally lulls me to sleep. 

~~~~~~

"Hurry up they're almost here" my mother says, yanking me inside the house before I even have a chance to knock on the front door. "Nice to see you too mom" I say under my breath and she's wound up so tight it doesn't even phase her. I can tell she's been working hard to make sure everything is perfect once the Jeons arrive.

"Did you get that wine I told you to get?" she questions, her eyes lighting up at the sight of the wine bottle carrier in my hand, quickly taking it and rushing into the kitchen. "Yeah no problem mom you're welcome" I say, talking to the air in front of me still waiting for her to show any sign of gratitude.

"Go place your things in your old room so they're out of the way" she call out, leaving me sighing and trudging off to do as she says.

Once I retrace my steps and walk past the door to go to join her in the kitchen I'm stopped in my tracks when the doorbell rings.

"Oh honey can you get that? My hands are tied here" my mom yells and I take a deep breath in and out before doing just that.

"Hello y/n! It's so nice to see you again" Mrs. Jeon greets me as I step aside and let them in, soon after her is her husband who holds out his hand in greeting. "It's been quiet a long time hasn't it? I remember when you use to be-" "Grandpa! Grandpa! I wanna meet the pretty lady too!" a little girl no older than five years old says, walking around her grandfather's legs to get to me, greeting me with the most adorable bunny smile.

"And now who might this be?" I ask, already melting into a puddle from seeing how absolutely adorable she is. "I'm Juni" she laughs when I go down to her level. "Well it's very nice to meet you Juni and how old are you?" I ask and she lights up when I continue taking an interest in her. "I'm four! Well Daddy says I'm turning five soon but it feels like it's taking forever. Right Daddy?" she says and looks back towards the man now left standing in the doorway.

"That's right Juni" he responds and the deep tenor of his voice sends a slight shiver down my spine, so full of love and admiration that is obvious to anyone who might come across the pair. "Oh!" I say, quickly straightening back up to meet this mysterious Jungkook and my throat goes dry once I've laid eyes on him.

Tall, strong build, dark brown hair that's well taken care of and styled perfectly, strong jawline accompanied by the contrast of the softest look in his brown almost black galaxy eyes that are still focused on his beautiful daughter.

"I'm sorry" I say but he shakes his head before he turns his head in my direction, taking in the sight of me as well before speaking. "That's alright, Juni kind of grabs everyone's attention right away" he says giving me a soft smile. "I'm Jungkook" he says, holding his hand out to me. "Y/n" I say shyly and shake it, his hands being much larger than mine is comforting in a way.

"My mom told me we used to come see you when we still lived here" he says once we let go, Juni now quietly watching our exchange. "Used to?" I question, curious to know more about why our mothers had lost touch. "We went back to our hometown for a while and then moved back to the city soon after Juni was born" he says and I nod my head, accepting that as an answer for now but wanting to know more.

"Sounds like I was just an infant though so I don't really have any memory of it" I admit while rocking back and forth on my heels, a nervous habit I've picked up over the years. "It's alright, I didn't expect you to remember" he chuckles, "I was only three so I don't remember much of it either" we laugh at his returned confession and a more comfortable air settles between us.

"Well it's nice to finally meet you" I say and he nods his head. "Likewise" he replies and we stand there for a moment, not really knowing where to go from here then, thankfully Juni breaks the silence.

"Daddy I wanna talk to the pretty lady" she says and grabs my hand and pulls me away from him. "Be nice Juni" he warns and she pouts, leaving me crouching down to her level and tilting my head to meet her gaze. "There's enough of me to go around little one. Don't worry" I say, booping her on the nose and making her giggle again.

Jungkook walks in a bit more and closes the door behind him, watching our little exchange before my mother comes out to check on us.

"Y/n why don't you take Jungkook and..." she says trailing off, not having learned his daughter's name yet. "Juni" Jungkook says and my mother smiles at the sound of the adorable name. "Jungkook and Juni outside. I'm sure she'd love to run around a little bit before dinner is ready" she suggests and I agree while Juni starts jumping up and down, excited to explore an unfamiliar place.

Jungkook follows closely behind as I lead the way but I ultimately end up getting dragged along by Juni who is surprisingly perceptive and has already mapped out the door that we'll be going through. "Come on Daddy keep up!" she calls after him once we've reached the door, looking back and seeing that he's fallen behind.

"I'm right behind you Juni" Jungkook chuckles and once we step outside Juni lets go and runs back and forth all around the yard, looking at anything and everything she can find.

"Be careful!" I say, worried that she could hurt herself but Jungkook comes over and stands next to me and reassures me she'll be fine.

"It's alright, if she gets hurt it'll be a little reminder to pay attention to what she's doing next time. That's the only way kids really learn right?" he says turning towards me, granting me with a soft smile, almost as if he's looking for validation on his parenting choice.

"Of course," I respond, returning the smile, "even some adults need to crash and burn before they learn their lesson sometimes" I point out and it makes him relax a bit more, thankful to see that he's right in his dealings with situations like this.

"She's a good kid" I say after leading him over to the patio set we have out here so we can sit down and watch her. "Thanks, it's been difficult raising her on my own so I'm never really sure if I'm doing a good job or not" he admits and I nod my head, taking a second to think about my response since it's a sensitive subject.

"I can tell that you love her very much so I have no doubt in my mind that you'll always do right by her" and I can tell that my words bring him a sense of comfort. Being a single parent can be extremely difficult especially when you lose the love of your life as soon as you become a father. 

I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone.

"Y/n?" I hear him call out and realize that my mind had drifted off for a second. "I'm sorry what did you say?" I say, my cheeks heating up from having been caught daydreaming. "I asked if you had any children of your own" he chuckles and I again try to figure out the best way to word this but figure the best way to go about it is to be honest. 

I've got no reason to hide from him.

"No, I got divorced last year and my ex husband and I were never able to have children" I say, looking down at my lap, embarrassed to have admitted it but also feeling a certain weight lifted off my shoulders.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know" he trails off and I panic, realizing I might've made him feel uncomfortable, telling him something so personal so soon. "No don't be, I honestly dodged a bullet with that one" I chuckle, hoping to lighten the situation a bit which thankfully it does as I see his body relax a bit.

"Our relationship had been on the rocks soon after we got married and I don't think we were a good match for each other so I think it was the universe's way of doing me a favor in making us somewhat biologically incompatible" I chuckle and he softly does the same.

"Biologically incompatible" he questions, a deeper meaning obviously hidden behind those words. "We both got checked out and everything looked completely fine but I guess it wasn't meant to be, thank God" I sigh, sincerely thanking whoever might've been in charge of making that executive decision for us.

"I'm not exactly sure what to say to that but I'm glad it worked out?" he states almost as if it was a question and I laugh, in response hoping I can recover this incredibly awkward conversation. "I'm sorry, that was a huge overshare that I probably should've kept to myself" I say, clearing my throat in hopes it would aid in clearing the peculiar air that had settled between us.

"You have nothing to apologize for, I asked and I feel honored that you felt comfortable enough to be so transparent with your answer" he says, the warmth in his tone giving me an ache in my chest. How could someone be so kind to someone they've just met? It's as if I could tell him anything and he would listen to me as if I was the only person in the world.

"Daddy!" 'Well me and Juni', I say to myself and watch as his attention now shifts to his daughter who is running up behind me. "Daddy look!" Juni says, holding out her hands that are now thoroughly caked in mud but hold a rock that is almost a perfectly shaped heart in the center of her palm. "Oh Juni" Jungkook chuckles, the ends of her dress now matching the state of her hands and neither Jungkook nor I can hold in our laughter.

"That's a very beautiful rock Juni! You're so clever" I say and I can see a sense of pride straighten her posture a little bit. "Juni your beautiful dress" Jungkook chuckles, clearly not minding but also trying to figure out what to do. "I'm sorry Daddy" she say, that pride slowly dwindling after seeing the mess she's made of herself.

"Hey Juni" I say, turning her attention back to me and I can see her spirits lift a little. "Would you like to see some of the clothes that I used to wear when I was your age?" I ask and her eyes light up at the thought. "Did you wear pretty dresses too?" she asks, clearly excited about seeing more new things. Her childlike wonderment makes my heart ache. Must run in the family.

"I did, but none of them were as pretty as yours. If you like, you can borrow one of mine while we wash this one" I suggest and the way her head nods up and down so fast makes me chuckle.

"Let's go to my room then! Hopefully we can find something you'll like" I say, standing up and straightening my dress while Jungkook reaches out for Juni's foot.

"Let's take your shoes off before we go back inside baby. We wouldn't want to track any mud into the pretty lady's house right?" Jungkook says, flashing a soft smile at me before looking back down to complete his intended task and Juni complies right away. 

My breath hitches as he purposefully uses the nickname Juni had given me and I quickly walk past them and open the door to go inside, trying to clear my head for a second, willing myself to keep it together.  

"Are you coming with us?" Juni asks and he nods his head, "I gotta go clean your shoes off first though" he says and I walk all three of us over to the bathroom so Jungkook can do just that as well as wash Juni's hands off.

"Wow!" is the first word that comes out of her mouth when we walk into the butterfly themed bedroom, mesmerizing her from the first glance. "Your room is so pretty!" she says, quickly running around here and there, being careful not to get too close since we haven't gotten a chance to change her dress yet.

"You like it?" I question and she's quick to nod her head again. "I wish my room looked like this" she says, spying all of the little butterfly details from the dainty embroidering on the bedspread to the knobs on the dresser, all of them working in harmony.

"We can go look for some butterfly stuff next time we go to the store if you'd like" Jungkook says while he walks into the room and right up to her while she stares up at the ceiling where there are a couple scattered across it. Nothing is too over the top but there is clearly a theme going on that she is captivated by.

"Really?" she asks, confirmation of what he's said being important to make sure she's hear him right. "Promise" he says holding out his pinky that she quickly wraps her's around as best as she can with her little ones being so tiny in comparison to his. She looks at the two of us before beckoning Jungkook to come closer so she can whisper something in his ear.

"Can the pretty lady come with us too?" she 'whispers' in his ear almost as loud as her speaking voice and I try to hold back my laughter, pretending like I didn't hear a thing. "Why don't you ask her?" he whispers and when he leans back she looks him in the eyes and he nods to further encourage her.

"Um, would you like to go shopping with us to get butterflies for my room too?" she asks, walking up to me shyly. Jungkook looks at me with a soft smile and I notice how the tips of his ears have almost gotten a little pink, his expression soft and charming but his body still showing tell tale signs of nervousness.

"Sure Juni, I'd love to go shopping with you" I say and she giggles in response while running back to her Daddy. "Can we go right now?" she asks jumping up and down. "We'll go another time don't worry baby, we've gotta set up a time so the pretty lady can go with us too right?" he reminds her and although she's sad she has to wait she nods in agreement. "Good, now let's get you out of this so we can make you all nice and clean again" he says, unzipping the back of her dress and revealing the cute little white tank top and tights that she wore under it.

I focus my attention on opening up the closet and grabbing a couple of dresses out for her to choose from. "These ones should fit. Which one would you like to wear Juni?" I say and her eyes flitter back and forth between all of them before giving her a Daddy a devious smile and hugging them to her chest. "I want all of them" she giggles and my heart melts, thinking about how fun it would be if I had a daughter just like her.

"Pick one Juni" Jungkook chuckles and she pulls back flipping through the selection I've made before her eyes light up and find the one she's dying to wear. "This one, this one!" she says, lightly holding onto the skirt and jumping up and down. I shift my grasp on them and hold out the one she chose for Jungkook to take and once he does there a static jolt of electricity that shocks us leaving the both of us pulling away slightly.

"Sorry it's probably from all the fabric of the dresses" I explain and he smiles in response. "Don't worry about it. A little spark never hurt anyone" he says and it's almost as if his voice had dropped a bit with that remark, leaving me widening my eyes a bit before turning back around and placing the dresses back in the closet. 

Why does he make me so nervous?

"Lady, lady look!" I hear from behind, and watch as Juni turns this way and that once Jungkook has finished putting the dress on her. "My goodness Juni don't you look adorable!" I say and she runs up to the the mirror in the corner of the room, watching the skirt swish this way and that. "Say thank you Ms y/n" Jungkook says, correcting Juni and finally telling her my name. She sounded too cute calling me 'the pretty lady' I just didn't have the heart to tell her otherwise.

"Thank you Ms y/n!" she says, running up to me and wrapping her arms around my legs since she is still  too small to reach anywhere else. "You're welcome Juni" I say, smiling down at her and smoothing her hair down. "Remember Juni, we're just borrowing it so we can wash your dress. We have to give it back to Ms. y/n before we leave" Jungkook says and I can see her excitement dwindle a bit but is no less thankful for being able to wear it tonight.

"Thank you for letting me borrow it Ms. y/n!" she says and I smile again, falling more and more in love with this adorable little girl with every smile she graces me with. "You're welcome" I say and she lets go of me and twirls around in it before stopping.

"Oh! I promise to be really careful and keep this one clean" she says holding out her pinky to do just as she had done with her father moments ago and I kneel down to her level and do just that before booping her on the nose causing another fit of giggles to spill out of her.

"Y/n, dinner is ready" my mother says while poking her head around the corner and I can tell she is completely satisfied by the scene that she's walked in on. "Oh Juni what a beautiful dress!" my mother says, noticing it right away, remembering it was one of my favorites. "Ms y/n gave it to me!" she says, swishing around in it again before doing a full twirl for us.

"Well aren't you the most darling little girl I've ever seen! Are you ready to eat? I heard that mashed potatoes are one of your favorite foods right?" my mom says, holding out her hand for Juni to take and she gladly does.

"Did my grandma tell you that?" she asks, clearly surprised that this complete stranger already knew something about her. "Yes she did. I hope you like them!" my mom says and Juni rushes down the hallway dragging my mom behind her. "Juni be careful!" Jungkook calls out to her but my mom just laughs it off.

"Why don't you show Jungkook where the laundry room is so you can put her dress in the washer" my mom offers up and I nod my head and look up at him. "That's okay I can just wash it when we get home" he says, politely declining the offer. "It's alright, it's best to wash it right away so it doesn't stain" I say, holding out my hand for the dress and he smiles before handing it to me and following my lead.

"You have a lovely home" he says shyly, looking this way and that taking notice of the small details just as Juni did. 'Like father like daughter' I think to myself. "It was my childhood home as you could probably tell from my old room" I say and he hums in response as I stop at the door to the laundry room.

"I know Juni is never going to stop talking about it" he chuckles and I smile at the loving tone that is always present in his voice whenever he speaks about her. We stand there in silence for a bit while I gather the various cleaning products I'll need.

"If you like, I can show you how to get stains like this out? If there was ever a day when I was her age that I didn't get some sort of dirt, mud or grass stains on my clothes my mother would write that down as a national holiday" I say and he laughs at that before accepting the offer.

"Sure, I'd like that" for some reason I can't seem to find the right words so I simply turn around and rinse off the mud in the little sink we have in here. "Do you think you could get that one for me?" I ask, nodding toward one of the stain removers. He wordlessly does as I ask and helps apply a drop or two of it to each of the areas I point out.

"I could've done that" he says now realizing how he's just standing there watching me clean his daughter's dress. "No, that's okay I offered!" I say, reassuring him that I don't mind. I wordlessly ask for the next stain remover before rubbing it in and ringing out the excess water. He opens up the washer lid for me and I toss it in and look this way and that for the laundry detergent.

"Looking for this?" he asks, pulling it off the shelf above the washer. "See, that's a perk of living on my own now. I don't have to worry about things being up too high for me anymore" I chuckle and quickly scoop in the appropriate amount and start the washer.

"Well let me know if you ever need anyone to get something that's out of your reach, it's one of the perks of being tall" he jokes and I laugh but almost shy away from the fact that he expects to see me again. "So I've heard" I say and try to put the detergent back on my own but it soon tips back over and is close to crashing down until he catches it, which in turn ends with him trapping me between him and the washer.

He slides the detergent back in it's spot and takes half a step back, giving me the smallest bit of space. "Why didn't you let me help you? I was standing right here?" he asks, tilting his head at me. "I don't know, I guess I'm just used to doing things on my own now" I chuckle awkwardly. "Well hopefully you'll get used to letting me help you soon" he says, finally taking another step back and giving me a bit more space to breathe.

"Sorry about that" I apologize awkwardly, leaning my back against the washer now with him leaning up against the wall directly in front of me and giving me a crooked smile. "Don't apologize, there's nothing wrong with being independent" he says and quickly scans my body but he does it so fast that if I would've blinked I would've missed it.

"Daddy it's time for dinner" Juni says, her soft steps not having been heard by either of us over the sound of the washer, breaking us out of the little moment that we had been having. "Okay Juni we're coming" he chuckles and holds out his hand for her to take but she giggles and dodges it, reaching for mine instead.

I squeeze past Jungkook as this little room is only wide enough for one person to walk through and the front of our bodies brush up against each other only for a moment until she's tugged me halfway out the door. "Let's be a train Daddy! Grab onto Ms. y/n's hand so you can be the caboose!" she says, turning this trip down the hallway into a game.

"Oh that's okay sweetie why don't you-" he starts but I hold out my hand for him to take, him only having refused for my sake, not wanting to make me uncomfortable with any unwanted skinship. "Grab on Daddy!" Juni giggles and I look up at him and see that he's looking down at me. He chuckles before grabbing onto my hand and the both of us are soon trailing behind Juni as she drags us to the dining room.

Once we get to the dinner table Juni lets go of my hand and runs back to where Jungkook's mom is so she can continue to help her eat her mashed potatoes. 

When everyone notices that Jungkook and I have arrived, we're greeted with four sets of eyes, all of them extremely happy to see us. It's then when I realize that we were still holding hands so I gently slide mine out of his, almost wishing I didn't have to.

He looks down at where our hands had been connected when I do and I can almost see that he's also disappointed that I let go but his expression is quickly replaced by an awkward smile aimed at our parents. 

When I look at the table I see that Jungkook and I are meant to sit directly across from each other. Which I'm sure is another one of my mother's ploys to get us to keep glancing up at each other, this time though I don't really mind.

When I go to walk to one side to sit down next to Mr. Jeon, Jungkook follows right behind me. 

"Oh did you want to sit on this side?" I ask him and he shakes his head, "No, I just wanted to pull your chair out for you" he says and I feel butterflies in my stomach. "Oh, okay" I say quietly and watch as he does just that and slides the chair in behind me once I've sat down. "Thank you" I reply, smiling up at him and he does so in return before rounding the table to take a seat in his place.

"So y/n, your mother told us that you work in photography, is that right?" she asks and I take a drink of water before responding. "Well not really, I've done a few freelance jobs here and there. Enough to keep me afloat so to say but I hope to do it full time soon!" I say and I see Jungkook perk up at that.

"Jungkook has always loved photography as well! He's always been tinkering away with cameras since he was just a few years older than Juni" his mother says while Jungkook cleans off Juni's face as it seems like she's gotten more food on her face than in her mouth.

"What subject do you usually shoot?" I ask, curious to see where his interests lie. "Mostly editorial, but I tend to enjoy the shoots a lot more when they have to do with nature. I believe beauty can be found in almost anything so I tend to just capture whatever inspires me at the moment" he says, his answer being very similar to mine.

"I feel the same way" I respond simply before shying away from the topic as I feel our parents are studying our interaction.

Once they notice the silence they decide to pick up the conversation just throwing facts about Jungkook and I back and forth, pretty much doing the getting to know you game for us without giving us much room to get a word in edgewise. Which leaves the both of us to just follow the conversation and occasionally making eye contact when either side makes a slightly embarrassing comment.

"Hey Dad" Jungkook calls out to his father over the never ending conversation they're having about us. "How's that new project at work going?" he says and I can already tell that it's one of those kinds of topics that once you get him started on it he won't stop and that's just the case as we now watch the conversation take a turn that is thankfully so far off from the two of us.

As time ticks by and the subjects change a few more times I notice that Jungkook has started to get up and clear the table to which I jump up in response to help him.

"Oh Jungkook don't worry about that I can do it later" my mother says but he shakes his head. "It's the least I could do after you've provided this wonderful dinner for my family and I" he says and I can almost see my mother swooning from his response. "Well thank you very much, sweetie can you show him where to place them, just next to the sink is fine" she says to me and I nod, looking up at him and nodding my head towards the direction of the kitchen.

Once we've gone there and back from the table a few times I decide to just start loading up the dishwasher, trying to escape that mortifying conversation for as long as I can. "I brought your glass for you. Wasn't sure if you were planning to finish it or not" he says, walking over and placing my wine glass on the counter next to me. "Thanks" I say quietly, neither of us having said a word to each other since the very beginning of that dinner.

"Your parents are really sweet" he says, breaking the ice and clearly acknowledging how obvious they all were about their motives. "Yours too. I'm sorry about tonight" I say and his brows furrow, clearly not understanding why I would need to apologize. "I knew my mom would end up doing something like this but once her mind is made up there's no stopping her" I admit and he gives me a crooked smile in response.

"Don't worry, I knew what all of them were up to too. My mother was praising you so much and telling me how beautiful and smart and respectful you are so I had an inkling that this was their plan all along" he says and I turn away from him, trying to hide my flustered expression.

"She's right you know" he says, coming around to stand next to me, leaning against the counter while I face it, cleaning up the inside of the sink and grabbing the towel next to me to dry my hands.

"Right about what?" I question, now turning to face him and noticing just how close he's gotten. "About how beautiful you are" he says and I have to blink a few times, trying to figure out why this incredibly handsome man in my kitchen is flirting with me.

I just wanna thank past me because whatever I did in my last life must've been incredible if I'm being offered up a man as remarkable as he is.

"I-" I start but am soon interrupted by my mom walking in on us. "Y/n could you- oh! I'm sorry, as you were" she says, taking small backward steps out of the kitchen, keeping hers eyes on the two of us before turning around to walk back to the living room that they had moved to.

"I'm sorry about her" I say, taking a drink of my wine but he laughs it off. "It's alright, I don't mind" he says watching me with curious eyes as I polish off the rest of it. "Juni has taken a real liking to you" he says and my heart melts at the sound of her name.

"Really? She's probably the happiest child I've ever seen. I really like her too" I say and he smiles, no doubts memories over the years flashing through his head.

"You've done a really good job raising her Jungkook" I say, and his eyes flutter back to mine, this time being the first time I've spoken his name and it looks as if just that alone brought him so much satisfaction. "Thank you y/n" he says, and I feel my heart flutter, the deep baritone of his voice sending a shiver down my spine.

"Daddy can I have some cake?" we hear as Juni walks into the kitchen, "Can I have some cake..." Jungkook says, trailing off and waiting for those magic words. "Please?" she says, realizing what he had been getting at.

"Sure baby, Ms. y/n and I will bring it out in a second okay?" he says making her smile as she runs out of the kitchen "Thank you" she calls out over her shoulder leaving the two of us laughing at her enthusiasm.

"That's probably what my mom was coming in to ask us for" I say and he nods in agreement, helping me carry everything out so we can all have a slice of the small cake my mom had gotten for tonight. "How much you want to bet that they sent Juni looking for us earlier too?" he whispers to me as we make our way over to where everyone else has gathered. "You might be right about that one" I whisper back, quickly catching onto all of their little games.

After setting the cake and all of the plates and forks down on the coffee table my mom takes on the task of cutting it up and serving it, with the very first piece going to little Miss Juni. "Thank you!" she says, eyes wide as saucers leaving all of us cooing at her. "Eat slow Juni" Jungkook reminds her, no doubt having troubles with her eating her desserts too quickly.

I take on the task of helping my mother hand out the slices and once I give one to Jungkook I finally notice that the only empty seat is right next to him and he looks down at it before looking back up at me in a silent invitation to sit down and I take it cautiously.

The couch that we're sitting on is kind of a love seat ironically, seeing as the whole theme of tonight is trying to set us up with each other.

Once I've sat down I realize that I've sat right next to him to the point of where my shoulder ended up bumping into his. "Oh! I'm sorry" I say, scooting away from him but with the size of the couch I don't really end up moving all that much. "It's okay I don't mind" he says, before taking a bite of his cake and turning to face the rest of the group.

The seven of us continue talking and talking until we notice that Juni has fallen asleep in her grandma's lap. "Here mom let me take her" Jungkook says, standing up but both my mom and his stand up and wave him off. "That's okay, we're just gonna go put her down in y/n's room" my mom says and before he's able to say otherwise they've disappeared down the hallway.

"Does she have school tomorrow?" I ask once he's settled back down. "No, she's on spring break right now until next Monday" he relays and I nod my head. "And what about you? Do you work tomorrow?" I ask and he gives me a shy smile before responding. "I had a shoot scheduled in the morning but we went ahead and pushed it to the afternoon so I don't have to worry about going home anytime soon" he says and my heart skips a beat.

"No, I mean, well I don't want to keep you for too long. You probably have other things you'd like to get done tonight?" I ask and he shakes his head. "No, this is the only thing I have planned for the night so I guess you're stuck with me" he chuckles. "I didn't mean to make you feel like I wanted you to leave I just-"

"It's okay I know what you meant" he laughs and I now take notice that we're the only ones left in the room. "Oh! Where did my dad go?" I ask, my eyes darting this way and that, not even being able to hear his voice.

"I think I heard something about them setting up the fire pit? I'm not sure but he's outside with my dad right now" he says and I spy both of them looking through the glass door before quickly ducking out of view once they realize they've been spotted.

"Maybe we should head out there" I say but he cuts off that thought by asking me a question that keeps me frozen on the spot. 

"Is there a reason why you don't want to be alone with me?" he asks, arm now having been draped around the back of the couch a while ago, completely unknown to me making this all seem a lot more intimate than before.

"Who said that?" I chuckle nervously, clearing my throat before sinking back into my seat. "You just did" he says, nodding towards me and I feel like I want to crawl in a hole and die. I thought I could escape this night without being awkward like this but I guess not.

"You trying to get rid of me?" he teases and I shake my head right away, "No I'm sorry I just-" "It's okay, I'm only joking" he says and I laugh nervously. "So why don't you tell me about yourself?" he says, giving me the most open ended question ever and I scramble to find something but I just can't seem to come up with anything interesting enough to mention.

"Well, my parents pretty much said everything there is to know about me over dinner earlier" I say and he shakes his head. "I want to hear something about you from you. Like what are some of your hope, your dreams, something you're passionate about" he says, being a little more specific this time.

"My dreams?" I trail off, thinking for a second and he watches me as I wrack my brain for something notable. "It's kind of silly" I admit once I've settled on something. "Good thing I've got a sense of humor" he replies, trying to encourage me to continue. 

"Well, I've always wanted one of my photos to be on the cover of TIME magazine" I admit and see his eyes light up. "I have a similar dream" he says and my eyes widen in surprise turning my body to face him, wordlessly asking him to share his too. 

"I'd like one of mine to end up on the cover of National Geographic" he relays and I smile in turn. "That would be perfect for you! Well, since the subject you love to capture the most is nature I could definitely see your work fitting right in!" I say, excited to see someone else who's trying to aim as high as I am.

"And I could see yours being a shoe in for TIME as well" he says, and I shy away from his praise. "Okay and what's something you're passionate about, and don't say photography" he says, interrupting me causing me to slump down, having to take another second to come up with an answer. 

He chuckles a bit at my reaction and I glare at him causing him to smile at me even more so look up to the celling as if it had the answers to something interesting about me. 

"Well, I really love reading. I know it might not seem like a passion but when I read a really good book and I find someone who has read it or will at least let me talk about it it's as if I gain a boost of energy and can't contain my excitement. That's definitely the nerdy side of me showing but that's all I can really think of at the moment" I say honestly and when I look back at him it's as if he thought I was the most fascinating thing he's ever seen. 

"Sorry, I think I got a little carried away there" I say, getting shy from being looked at like that, his soft gaze an expression I'm not used to, especially from someone I just met. "Um, your turn" I say, hoping to get some of the spotlight off of me. 

"I know this might be cheating but I do enjoy taking video and editing them. Even if it were as simple as filming Juni for an afternoon, it's something that if given the chance, would be something I could be extremely passionate about" he says and although it is cheating since it's somewhat similar to photography, I'll let it slide. 

"Have you thought about switching up your profession to include video as well as pictures?" I ask and he nods before answering. "I have but I haven't taken enough time to seriously consider it. Juni is still young and I want to make sure I have a stable income in order to take care of her and if I'm being honest I feel almost as if a career change could jeopardize that" he says and I watch him with the same intent that he had given me and he too seems to shy away from it. 

"It's silly since it would probably be a seamless transition but I can't help but feel reservations towards it" he says and I place my hand on top of his that's in his lap. 

"It's normal for a parent to worry about providing for their child. I don't think it's silly at all and it shows how much you truly care about Juni and her well being. She's lucky to have you as her father" I say and he cringes only for a moment before his expression goes back to a softer one. I want to ask what would've warranted a reaction like that but I leave it alone. 

"Okay your turn, what is something you hope for?" he asks and I already know the answer to it but I'm hesitant to say. I take a second to try and figure out how to formulate it properly but decide to just go for it. 

"I hope to be a mother and have children of my own someday. Doesn't matter if it's naturally or through adoption, I just hope to have someone I can love and care for unconditionally and watch them as they grow and change and pray I'll receive that love and care back from them" I say and he gives me a wary expression and I quickly try to backtrack, not knowing if I've messed up or not. 

"I'm sorry that was probably extremely insensitive of me" I say, pulling away my hand but he holds onto it and gives me a sad smile before responding. "I think you would be a wonderful mother. If you were to give your children even half the time and attention you've given to Juni today they would still be incredibly lucky to call you their mother" he says, reassuring me that it's okay to talk about these topics around him. 

"Last one?" I question, seeing if he's up to telling me something he's hopeful for. "I just hope that no matter what my family and friends stay happy and healthy. It might be simple but I enjoy the simple things in life" he says and I smile, seeing how truly kind and compassionate he is just from his simple answer. "That's a good answer" I say and we both chuckle a bit before we're broken out of yet again another moment by the sound of our mothers stumbling into the room. 

"Oh don't let us bother you we're just going to head outside with your father" Jungkook's mom says to him and I can see now from the warm glow shining through the glass door that they've finally started up the fire pit. 

"Oh we'll come outside too!" I say and try to get up off the loveseat. I'm able to stand but immediately lose my balance and feel a strong set of hands on my hips and end up falling into Jungkook's lap. "I-" I start, turning towards him and trying to get out an apology but stop short when I see how close his face is to mine, our noses almost touching. 

I hear our mothers head outside quickly and close the door but neither of us pay any mind, both focused on each other to the point where neither of us move for what feels like forever but was only a matter of seconds. When I do try to get up I feel his grip on me tighten. 

"I'm s-sorry, this couch is always difficult to get off of" I explain and he smiles. "Like I said before, you have nothing to apologize for" he says, his voice a bit deeper than before and it takes every fiber of my being to stop myself from looking at his lips but when I see his flutter down to mine I can't help but do the same. 

"Daddy, why is Ms. y/n sitting on your lap?" we hear Juni say and I immediately get off of him and throw my face in my hands, trying to hide the embarrassment written all over me but Jungkook handles it like a champ. 

"Ms. y/n just fell down Juni and I caught her. You know how I catch you sometimes before you fall?" he offers and she walks over to us, rubbing her eyes and immediately climbing onto Jungkook's lap. "Oh okay" she says, yawning again after Jungkook places a kiss on the crown of her head. 

"Do you wanna go see the fire that grandpa and Ms. y/n's dad made?" he asks and she hums in approval, still half asleep but wanting to go outside with everyone. "Okay let's go" he says, standing up with Juni in one arm and holding his hand out to help me up. I glare up at him and he smiles, knowing he's added to my embarrassment but I take his hand anyways and he makes no moves to let go once I'm up on my feet, walking us all towards the back door. 

Once we're outside though that's when he lets go so he can hold Juni properly while he walks down the patio steps so we can get to the fire pit. 

"Juni woke up?" his mother asks and Jungkook nods. "Yeah she wanted to come outside with everyone even though she is still very very sleepy" he says, talking in a silly sweet voice that makes Juni pout although her eyes are still closed. "I'm not sleepy" she says mid yawn causing me to coo at her and when she realizes I'm still close by she sits up off of Jungkook's chest and reaches towards me. 

I look between her and Jungkook for a second and he nods his head in approval and hands her to me, grabbing a chair afterwards for me to sit on and pulling up another one next to mine and looks over at Juni to see she's practically sound asleep again. "Are you okay with her?" he asks and I hum in approval leaving him placing another kiss on Juni's head before leaning back in his chair. 

"So Jungkook, what do you think of my daughter?" my mother asks and Jungkook chokes on air, not expecting the straightforward question. "Mom!" I scold and she chuckles, "What? It's a simple question. No need to give a complex answer, unless he wants to" she teases and I swear I can even hear Jungkook's dad chuckling at my mother's antics. 

They couldn't make it more obvious that they're trying to set us up even if they tried. 

My dad luckily somewhat comes to Jungkook's aide and hands him a bottle of water to hopefully help him stop coughing which it does thankfully.

He takes a second to clear his throat and I would be lying if I said I wasn't on edge, waiting to hear what his answer might be. "I think she is a very kind hearted and very intelligent young woman" he says simply and the echos of him calling me beautiful earlier on tonight attach to the end of that. 

"And would you like to see her again?" she continues and he then looks over at me, giving me a soft smile and glancing down at Juni before looking me in the eyes again. "We've already planned to see each other again" he says, memories of Juni's invitation to the butterfly shopping trip fluttering through my mind again. 

"Did you hear that? Jungkook has already asked to see her again" my mom says, calling over to Jungkook's mom as if she hadn't been listening the whole time. "Well technically Juni asked if I could go shopping with them" I explain and Jungkook chuckles. "Juni is a very smart girl" my mother compliments and Jungkook and I can't help but laugh. 

The rest of the night flies by and before I know it we're already standing in the doorway saying goodbye. "It's was so nice seeing you again y/n! I hope to be seeing you again soon" Jungkook mom says, winking at me. "Oh come on honey leave the girl alone" Jungkook's dad says, coming to my aide and saying his goodbyes as well. 

Jungkook's parents say a quick goodbye to Jungkook and Juni as well since they came in separate cars and I notice after that my dad pulls Jungkook aside and says something that I regretfully can't make out. Luckily he doesn't seem bothered by it as they smile and shake hands before my dad pats him on the back, sending him off with I can only assume is well wishes. 

Jungkook says goodbye to my mother and I can tell how much she's praising him, he thanks her for everything and makes his way over to me a few moments later and it's almost as if it was a ghost town with only Jungkook and I in the entryway now, with him holding a still very sleepy Juni in his arms. 

"Thank you for coming, I know this was probably a lot for you" I say, rocking back and forth on my heels and he smiles before answering. "I had fun, and I know Juni did too" he says and I can feel my heart skip a beat, "I did too" I reply shyly. He reaches into his pocket and unlocks his phone before handing it to me.

"Do you think I could have your number? You know, so we can set up that shopping day soon? I know Juni won't be able to stop talking about it until we go" he says, turning into what I could only describe as a shy teenage boy, asking his crush for her number. "Sure" I say, putting it in and calling my number so I have his too. 

"Let me know when you get home safe" I say and place my hand on Juni's back and whisper a quick goodbye which regrettably stirs her awake and I mouth a quite sorry to Jungkook but he smiles in response. 

"Wanna say goodbye to Ms. y/n?" Jungkook asks and she nods her head before opening her eyes and leaning towards me to give me a kiss on the cheek leaving me speechless. "Goodnight pretty lady" she mumbles before laying back down on Jungkook's chest. He chuckles after seeing my reaction and gives Juni a kiss on her head in response. 

"Goodnight y/n" he whispers to me and I send him the same sentiment, walking him to the door and watching as he walks over to his car while he puts Juni in her carseat. He looks back to see if I'm still watching and smiles at me again before getting in his car and driving off. 

"So should I schedule an appointment with the caterers tomorrow or...?" I hear my mother say behind me, making me jump before taking a few steps back into the house and closing the door. "Very funny mom" I say, walking over to the living room and plopping down on the couch Jungkook and I had been sharing a couple hours ago. 

"What's wrong? He's a nice man isn't he? Plus his daughter seems like she loves you! Why don't you give it a shot?" she asks and I sigh, sinking further back into the couch. "I don't know, I just don't want to get my hopes up" I mumble and she sits next to me, placing a comforting hand on my thigh. "What makes you say that?" she asks curiously.

"It's almost as if he's too perfect. He's handsome, charming, charismatic, a great dad and I don't know, he just seems too good to be true" I admit and she nods her head, understanding my hesitation. "Everyone puts their best foot forward when they're meeting someone for the first time. Just go out with him and Juni in a few days and keep an open mind. It's not the fact that he has Juni that's holding you back right?" she questions, trying to figure out what exactly has got me doubting. 

"No not at all! If anything Juni is an added bonus" I say truthfully and she smiles at me. "Good, because I think she's already become very attached to you" she says and I nod my head. "Yeah I think I have too" I mumble and she claps her hands, jolting me out of my train of thought. 

"Now all we have to do is get a ring attached to that finger and the three of you can live happily ever after" she says, getting up to clean up the cake plates that sit on the coffee table in front of us. 

"Mom" I groan and she laughs, "I want some beautiful grandchildren and if that handsome young man can't help you give them to me then I don't know who could" she continues leaving me sighing, not bothering to argue back since she is definitely right about that one. 

I hear my phone chime in my purse moments later after I walk into my bedroom to gather up my things to go back home and see a message from an unknown number but check my call log and see that the numbers match up from when I called myself off Jungkook's phone. 

I quickly add him to my contacts before opening up our chat and see a short but sweet message from him. 

'Home safe and sound. Thanks for having us tonight. Hope to see you soon?' he sends with a question mark at the end, clearly still wanting to double check on if I'll actually want to see them again. I wait a few seconds, my thumbs hovering over the keyboard before finally composing a message and hitting send before I chicken out. 

'See you soon Jungkook. I really enjoyed getting to know you and Juni. Looking forward to shopping for butterflies together!' I say and cringe once I reread it. 'Ugh could I possibly sound more desperate?' I say to myself and toss my phone on the bed, sitting down at the computer chair across from it. 

A minute later I hear another message come in and I practically lunge for the phone, praying I didn't weird him out but moments later I feel heat rushing to my cheeks and have to will myself into not squealing.

'We're counting down the minutes until we can see you again. Let's talk tomorrow and set up a date and time'  he says and I rush to respond. 

'Sounds great! Goodnight Jungkook'  I say, ending the conversation before I end up embarrassing myself even more but before I can even lock my phone his message pops up. 

'Goodnight y/n, sweet dreams' the message is so simple but it still makes me smile. 

"Is that Jungkook texting you?" my mom asks, poking her head into the room and I quickly lock my phone and grab my purse. "Yes it is, goodnight mom" I say, walking past her and straight to the front door with her trailing after me. "Oh come on sweetie you know I'm just teasing you. I really think he's going to be a good match for you" she says and I turn to face her before I leave. 

"I really hope so. Say goodnight to dad for me" I say giving her a kiss on the cheek and getting in my car to drive home. 

~~~~

Once I walk in I'm greeted again by Salem and he walks up, waiting for me to pick him up. "You're such a little baby you know that?" I chuckle and he meows in response. 

I follow the same routine as I always do, carrying him with me into my room and rambling off to him about my day before hopping in the shower but this time I have a lot more to say, leaving me wasting half the hot water and causing me to have to finish up the last bit of my shower in a freezing cold stream. 

After finishing up and finally settling into bed I lay down and Salem curls up next to me. "Things might be changing around here boy. I only hope they're for the better, what do you think?" I ask after having told him everything and I'm met with the feeling of him purring and if that isn't a good sign then I don't know what is. 

"I hope he likes cats" I say, giving him one last pet before turning off the light and for the first time in a very long time I can finally say I've gone to sleep feeling content. The last thought that runs through my head is one that helps me fall asleep with a soft smile on my face. 

I can't wait to see him again...

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[miley1442111]

I don't even know you anymore- s.reid

a/n: this is kind of short so sorry, also it is deeply sad because i clearly love hurting my own feelings :( intended for fem or male reader, so imagine what you like:)))))))))

summary: you anniversary should be a night between you and spencer, right?

pairing: spencer reid x reader

warnings: general angst, cheating and breaking up

It was a cold night. You were supposed to see a show but as usual, ‘something came up’. You had been working with Dr. Spencer Walter Reid for 4 years, 5 months and 3 days. You had been dating Dr. Spencer Walter Reid for 3 years, and 4 hours. It was your anniversary. You walked up the stairs to your shared apartment, ready for a night of feeling sorry for yourself and eating a sad, lonely dinner. You had sent your tickets to see ‘The Mousetrap’ to Jj, she said Will and her would go instead since Spencer had ‘something to do’. You couldn’t help but feel dejected and unimportant. Why wouldn’t he tell you what he’s doing? Why didn’t he call you back? You tried to push those thoughts out of your head as you turned the key to your apartment and walked inside. Inside,you saw Spencer and you saw Jj. Jj and Spencer were kissing. Your boyfriend was kissing someone else. Your boyfriend was kissing the woman he had a crush on for years. 

Fuck.

“Am I interrupting something?” You said, bitterness punctuating every word. You dropped the groceries on the counter as they pulled apart, Jj looking nervous and Spencer looking… upset? Is that the right way to put it? Like a child that broke something after being told not to touch it. 

“It’s not what it looks like-” Jj started. 

“Yes, yes it is. You two were kissing, and I really don’t fucking care who kissed who, I just want you to get out of my house.”

Jj starts to gather her things and Spencer stands there, looking down. 

“That includes you Spencer,” You smiled sourly as he looked up and stared at you. “Maybe you two can catch a show? I already sent you the tickets for tonight. Have fun!” 

“Please-” Spencer started, tears in his eyes. 

“No. You made your fucking bed, lay in it.” He went to touch your arm, “Don’t touch me,” You spat out, he retracted his hand.

“Just, let him explain it, please,” Jj pleaded as she left your apartment. 

You walked back to the kitchen and started putting the groceries away. “So that was what you were busy doing? Didn’t realise you thought so little of me.” 

He touched your arm to stop your movements and you stared at him. He’s crying, like you’re the one who’s hurt him. “Please,” He begged. “Just listen to me.”

You scoffed but nodded, allowing him to continue. 

“She texted me saying she was in trouble… so I went to find her. She said she’d been mugged outside the club like a block away, so I went to find her. I know now that she hadn’t been but she just asked to come back here, and ‘calm down’ so I let her. We came inside, then she started saying all this weird stuff about how me and her were ‘meant to be’ or something. I shut her down immediately and she just kissed me and then…” 

“But you didn’t stop her from kissing you,” You sighed, allowing the hurt he’s caused to be shown. 

“What? She had just kissed me-”

“Spencer I’m not stupid, your hair is ruffled, so is your shirt, and you have her lipstick on your lips. Don’t try to lie to me about this. I’m a profiler, remember?”

He looked down, ashamed. Then he wiped his lips. “I’m sorry.”

“I am too.” 

He looked up, alarmed, his hands holding your waist in place so you couldn’t move. “What?”

“Spencer, I don’t trust you. I can’t. I don’t know who you are anymore.”

His face broke, a tear falling down his cheek. “Please, I’m begging you, I love you.”

“Spencer, get your hands off me,” You sighed. “Just let me go.”

“Please. I’m begging you-”

“Spencer! Enough, just stop!” You pushed his hands off of you. “Have you not done enough?!” 

“Please-” You moved past him and went to your bedroom, locking the door behind you. You lay in bed, thinking about how you’ll deal with this. You didn’t want to break up with Spencer. But you just couldn’t trust him anymore.

[merwgue]

Let’s talk about the impossible feat of loving Nesta while simultaneously shipping Nessian. Yes, it’s possible to admire Nesta’s fierce, complex, and deeply troubled character, but it becomes a mental gymnastics routine when people insist on pairing her with Cassian, the very character who consistently undermines her healing and mental health.

There’s a fundamental issue here: Nesta is on a self-destructive spiral for the majority of her arc in A Court of Silver Flames, and Cassian, the supposed "love interest," isn’t helping—he’s actually worsening the situation. Cassian doesn’t just harm Nesta emotionally; he’s also not great for himself, which turns this into the classic case of two people who are absolutely not ready for a relationship but are shoved into one for the sake of drama, attraction, or—let’s face it—trauma-bonding. So let’s get into why loving Nesta means rejecting the idea of Nessian, because at its core, this relationship is toxic.

Cassian's Actions: Love or Harm?

In what world is it okay for a man to force a woman into an intervention-style imprisonment because she’s hurting? That’s not love; that’s coercion. The moment Rhysand, Feyre, and Cassian decide to lock Nesta up in the House of Wind without any real professional help is the moment you realize how warped their perception of "helping" is. Cassian actively participates in this isolation, and no matter how it’s spun, that’s not caring for someone’s well-being—that’s control. Realistically speaking, throwing someone with severe PTSD, depression, and a ton of guilt into a glorified prison doesn’t scream "let’s heal together"; it screams "I don’t want to deal with your pain, so I’ll just shove you into a corner."

The thing with Cassian is that he keeps asserting dominance over Nesta under the guise of tough love, which, at best, is misguided and, at worst, is abusive. There’s emotional manipulation here that people often overlook. He’s constantly undermining her boundaries, trying to force her into situations she’s clearly not ready for. This isn’t about "challenging her to be better"—this is about someone refusing to accept where she is in her emotional journey and trying to rush her into healing on his timeline.

Relationships Aren't a Band-Aid for Self-Destruction

You can’t ship someone who is in the throes of their own personal turmoil into a romantic relationship and expect everything to work out. It’s not the 90s where "love heals all wounds" was a plausible relationship arc. Let’s get real: both Cassian and Nesta are deeply flawed, emotionally scarred people who are not in a position to bring out the best in each other. Cassian has his own guilt, his own trauma, and his own unresolved issues, which means that he is self-destructing in his own way too. How is a relationship built on two crumbling foundations supposed to thrive?

There’s this common trope that "relationships make people better." And sure, sometimes that’s true. The right partnership can encourage personal growth, offer support, and provide a stable ground for emotional healing. But here’s the kicker: that only works if both parties are in a place to actively support one another. Cassian and Nesta are both drowning in their own emotional baggage, and what happens when two people are drowning? They pull each other down.

It’s Not the Right Time—Or Maybe It’s Just Not Right

Let’s entertain the idea for a moment that Cassian and Nesta could be meant to be. Maybe, in another universe, under different circumstances, their dynamic could work. But in this current context, it's not just that it's not the right time—it's that Cassian is fundamentally bad for Nesta's mental health. Relationships take effort, mutual respect, and understanding. What Cassian offers is a kind of pseudo-support that's wrapped up in his own unresolved issues. He’s often dismissive of Nesta’s pain, or worse, he actively exacerbates it by belittling her coping mechanisms (however flawed they may be).

Cassian pushes her physically and emotionally when she’s clearly not in a place to handle it. This isn’t the "right person, wrong time" situation—it’s the "this relationship is unhealthy for both people" situation. To claim they’re good for each other is to completely disregard the damage they do to one another.

Cassian's Behavior: Emotional Manipulation or Love?

Cassian fans often try to justify his actions by claiming he’s trying to help Nesta get out of her destructive cycle, but let’s be real here: a lot of what he does is emotional manipulation. Cassian constantly tries to mold Nesta into the person he thinks she should be, without giving her the space to figure out who she actually is. Yes, Nesta is angry, grieving, and hurting, but instead of letting her process that pain on her own terms, Cassian’s solution is to insert himself into her healing journey as if he’s the one with the answer to all her problems.

The power dynamics here are wildly skewed. Nesta is at her most vulnerable, and Cassian—who should recognize that and proceed with caution—does the exact opposite. He forces her into situations she’s not ready for, whether it’s physical training or emotionally confronting things she hasn’t yet processed. This kind of forced "healing" is toxic. It's not love; it's domination.

Abuse Isn’t Just Physical—It’s Mental and Emotional Too

It’s easy to point out physical abuse and say "that’s wrong," but what people fail to recognize is that emotional and mental abuse are just as damaging. Cassian’s emotional manipulation—his constant pushing, his refusal to respect Nesta’s boundaries, his belief that he knows what’s best for her—are all forms of emotional abuse. He might not physically hurt her, but the way he chips away at her mental and emotional health is just as harmful.

Nesta deserves a partner who supports her healing in a way that’s compassionate and understanding—not someone who forces her into situations she’s not ready for because he thinks it’s the best course of action. Cassian, for all his good intentions, isn’t that partner. At least, not now, and maybe not ever.

Conclusion: You Can’t Love Nesta and Ship Nessian

Here’s the bottom line: you can’t claim to love Nesta while simultaneously shipping her with a man who actively harms her, emotionally manipulates her, and refuses to respect her boundaries. If you love Nesta, you want her to heal, to thrive, to grow—on her own terms. Cassian, in his current state, doesn’t support that growth. In fact, he stunts it. So no, you can’t love Nesta and ship Nessian at the same time. To do so is to fundamentally misunderstand what it means to love someone like Nesta: fiercely, without conditions, and with a respect for her autonomy.

Cassian might be good for someone else, or maybe even for Nesta in a different life. But in this one? He’s not the hero of her story—he’s the obstacle.

[blakeswritingimagines]

Dating Wonder Woman would include

The thought of dating Diana is overwhelming. She’s gorgeous, smart, and a total sweetheart as well as an actual goddess. Everyone wants a chance with her. If you manage to get her attention and impress her, you’ll be lucky enough to spend time with an amazing woman and witness her genuine love and care — it’s definitely worth the effort. If you do ask her out, make it a special date that shows your appreciation for her unique, kind personality. She deserves nothing less, and you’ll always have a story to tell later on.

She's very fun and loving. She's the light that keeps those around her going, always spreading joy and happiness and looking to make everyone smile, she loves all sorts of fun things – shopping, going out with friends, and just living life to the fullest. Diana cares about the people in her life and always goes above and beyond to make them feel good.

Diana’s romantic side is kind and sweet. As a passionate woman, she is caring and protective of those she cares for and is never afraid to show how much she feels. She’s a hopeless romantic at heart and loves making romantic gestures and being swept off her feet. If you're the kind of person who dreams of being spoiled with gifts and affection, you'll find an eager partner in her - she's the type to shower her partner with compliments and gifts, always doing what she can to make you happy.

Dating Wonder Woman is like having an endless sleepover with your best friend. It's a lot of fun and laughter, cuddling under a blanket and eating snacks together, sharing gossip, doing fun things like going to parties and getting into trouble, and having romantic moments that feel like straight out of a movie. When you're with her, you feel like you have someone who truly cares about you and is always there for you, ready to explore and be adventurous or snuggle down together whenever you need it.

As an adventurous spirit, Diana is up for trying anything (within reason) and enjoys going on spontaneous adventures with her partner. She's enthusiastic about trying new things together and doesn't mind stepping outside of her comfort zone when it comes to trying new things together. She loves exploring, experimenting, and trying new things - so if you're a homebody or have more traditional tastes, she might push you outside your comfort zone a bit. That said, she's not reckless and can definitely enjoy the quiet moments, too.

Her love language is words of affirmation. She likes to hear how much you love or appreciate her, as it gives her reassurance and helps her feel validated in the relationship. Being physically affectionate and having her loved one's attention is also something that brings her happiness. Your touch makes her feel loved and she always appreciates receiving affection. If you're the kind of person who loves being physically intimate with your partner, Diana will be the perfect match. Your words and physical affection bring her immense pleasure and satisfaction.

She’s also an affectionate person, who enjoys physical affection with her partner. However, she isn’t the type to jump right into a relationship. She likes to take it slow initially, especially when it comes to physical intimacy, but when she falls in love, she’s head over heels and willing to do whatever it takes to be close to her love. You need to be open-minded and understanding if this relationship is to work out. That being said, if you’re kind, patient, and willing to put in the work, you’ll find a devoted and loving companion in Diana.

She is a thoughtful person who is always thinking about other people. She is generous with her time and is always looking for ways to help others. She's a good listener and is known for being supportive, encouraging, and patient. If you're struggling with something, she's the kind of person who will sit down with you and work through it. She cares deeply for people and wants to see them succeed, so she'll do whatever she can to help them achieve their goals, whether it be giving them advice or offering a helping hand

She loves to take initiative. She enjoys making decisions and taking charge but always makes sure to take your opinions and feelings into account. She’s open to new and exciting ways to show and is always looking to try new experiences with you. She’s also great at expressing her love and needs through communication, and if she’s ever unhappy she’ll be sure to talk things out with you rather than let tension build.

She thinks a good date should involve learning about each other, spending time, and sharing your interests and hobbies. She personally enjoys training together and also sharing stories of your times fighting evil. It is important for both parties to give as well as receive. For herself, she finds it important for you to treat her with respect, understanding, and most importantly, love.

Even when at your lowest point, Diana will never give up on you. She's always there ready to provide comfort, support, and encouragement. With her warm, welcoming presence, you'll know that you're not alone in facing any challenge or issue, and her positive energy will be sure to lift your spirits. In addition to providing you with a warm, welcoming presence, Diana is also a very loving partner who will always make sure to express her feelings for you through physical affection as well, ensuring that you know you are loved and appreciated at all times.

When dating Diana, you will never have to deal with games or drama. She is a direct and honest person, always communicating her thoughts and feelings in a straightforward and sincere manner. She will always be open and transparent with you, and you can be assured that her affection for you will never be questioned or doubted. In addition, She will always go out of her way to make sure that you feel comfortable and protected, and can always be relied upon to stand up for you when needed.

Diana is the girlfriend you never want to leave the side of; she’ll make you feel complete, loved, and special. With her by your side, you’ll be surrounded by pure positivity, encouragement, and love. You’ll never walk away from a day with her feeling dull, drained, or like something is missing. Diana will add flavor, fun, and enjoyment to every moment spent together.

When dating Diana, expect the unexpected; she’ll keep you on your toes while also making you feel safe, secure, and loved. You’ll be treated to the most incredible date nights, the most electrifying surprises, and the most thrilling adventures. You’ll never have a dull moment dating her.

Don’t expect the honeymoon phase to end or wane; there will always be a spark and a flame of passion between you two, no matter how long you’ve dated. She’s the type of girlfriend that is in it for the long haul, and it shows in the time and effort she puts into making sure your relationship is strong and lasting.

You can expect to always be treated to romantic and fun dates that show how much she loves you. She’s the type of girlfriend that will make sure each date is special and memorable for you and make you feel like you’re the center of her world. Some favorite date ideas: Going on a picnic in the park, Hitting up a local ice cream or coffee shop, A visit to a local museum or gallery, or A trip to the beach or mountains

Diana is a confident and carefree person who doesn’t easily let jealousy or insecurity get in the way of her happiness. However, she’s also not a person to be messed with when it comes to matters of the heart. If you were ever to cross her or hurt her in any way, she would most likely confront you directly about it rather than letting you just get away with it. Although she is confident and self-assured.

Her usual favorite things to do with you are: Watching movies, tv shows, nor will she continue on without you. Snuggling together on the couch or bed while we watch something after a long day. Driving around to different spots around the city and enjoying the scenery together. Playing board/card games together. Going out to eat together and trying new foods and restaurants together.

Diana doesn’t fuck, she makes love. She’s slow, passionate, and good as hell at what she does. The two of you are very intimate. Your skin is always touching, and her face stays close to yours, her lips pressing against you.

She’s a fan of foreplay: the making out, the soft touches down each other’s backs and waists, the helping each other undress, etc. Generally, just the softness and romance that comes along with it.

She loves aftercare; making sure you have everything you need and stroking your hair as you cuddle into her. She enjoys watching you drift to sleep so delicately wrapped up in her arms.

8

9

[ambrosiagourmet]

Dunmeshi characterization mumblings…

Laios tries. That’s the guiding principle of his characterization, to me. He tries more than he realizes. He thought he gave up during his years with the military but he never did. Something dragged him to Falin, after all.

He cares about people a lot and he wants to do well by them. This is usually specific people but also can be groups (eg the orcs or the residents of the Golden Kingdom). His hit rate on noticing what people like/want/need is not anywhere close to 100% but once he has locked something in he’s Locked It In.

He wants to be better than he is, and he isn’t always good at noticing what he does do well. Some part of him does want to run away, and he’s not always great at accepting that. He clashes with it, and doesn’t even always know whether he’s winning against it (framing his past of leaving Falin as running away when it wasn’t necessarily that simple). When he does self-reflect he can have a pretty dismal view of himself, and he prefers to act instead. This leads him to help as often as it leads him to step on toes, but it does very much do both. He’s working on getting better about this by post-canon though - on some level I think he’s aware that it’s not how he always wants to be.

He supports people by Physically Being There. Lots of worried dog laying their head on your lap energy. Voted most likely to stay by someone’s bedside until they wake up.

~

Marcille is still figuring out where she fits in the world. She's still figuring out who she wants to be. She can be extremely confident about some things, and completely doubt herself in other areas. She's got a little bit of fake-it-til-you-make-it charm. She DOES know what she's talking about, she just doesn't always know how to apply it. Very #gradstudentcore. She's still only just starting to explore the world beyond the safety of her parents or her school!

She has such a big heart and she emotes loudly, every time. That doesn't mean that she shows EVERYTHING she's feeling, but if she does show it, she shows it big. She loves romance and big gestures and the zest of life and people. She likes to meddle and snoop because she wants to know the whole story and wants to be in on it all. I think sometimes she might have trouble realizing that she's PART of the story, though. Like, she views her meddling gossip seeking as neutral or good acts, when they can affect people more than she realizes, and sometimes even hurt them.

In general she's not great at predicting the repercussions for her actions. I do think she reflects on herself, but sometimes she's trying to learn and do so much that some things get lost. She wants to be better, and she's always learning and growing and taking things in. I genuinely think that someday Marcille is going to be a little more sure of herself and a little more experience and she is going to be an AMAZING woman. She's just not always good at handling the fact that she can't just be THERE already.

She supports people by cheering them on. The force of Marcille Believing In You could give someone the power to move mountains. Yes, she does also fret and fuss over people in ways that can undermine that. But like the Marcille smile and "you got this" encouragement? Literally confers The Power Of Love.

~

Kabru... Kabru is building the future he wants to see. He's not very good at putting that work down, though (I know, workaholic Kabru characterization, deeply insightful). He can be prone to seeing himself more a part of the process of creating a better world, though, rather than a person who deserves to live in that world. Like, I think he'd be more likely to daydream about a statue or plaque dedicated to him than about himself actually just hanging out and being content.

He thinks about everything. I definitely don't think he's always manipulating people, but he is almost always observing. And since he's prone to following those observations to plans and ideas, he's not being great at turning off his Planning brain, and thus measures his words and actions even when he maybe... shouldn't be....

I don't think he'd describe himself as an "ends justify the means" person (he's very opposed to that way of handling things from the Canaries), but he is rather more concerned about the ends than the means. Bit of a hypocrite there, maybe? I do think his ends are kinder and more inclusive than the Canaries, though. So maybe it's something where he believes that if one has good enough ends, the means must be worth it. Especially since he directs the cost of those means at himself as much as possible. He views himself as expendable in pursuit of a worthy goal.

He is getting better about that but I don't know that he's consciously acknowledged that it's a problem. And so he's probably prone to relapse into those self-minimizing behaviors, especially given he very much has a new Goal to focus on with the kingdom.

Honestly, Kabru doesn't really self-reflect nearly as much as he might think he does. This is actually taking me a little by surprise as well. But he reacts more from emotions than logic in a few points in the story (esp the part where he stops Mithrun from killing Falin), and doesn't really... acknowledge that?

Maybe it's more accurate to say that he's kind of hit or miss with it. He is learning and growing all the time. But he's also something of a blind spot in his own excellent understanding of what makes people tick. Maybe he's better at understanding himself through the reflection of how other people see him.

He shows his support by making other people's lives easier. That might mean giving them a friendly ear, helping them navigate a tricky situation, or assuaging worries they didn't even realize that had. This isn't always true, but I think sometimes he might like some his support to be a little invisible. I don't think he has a problem with receiving praise and gratitude, but I also don't know that it does much for him, either. And being able to help without being noticed can help him hide the vulnerability of the depth of his attachment.

Also, Kabru would probably be more emotionally destroyed by one person helping him with something than a hundred people praising him for his help (but would claim he prefers to help and be appreciated for it).

[lyricswrittenbythesecretdreamer]

Haunted Pt 2

Hi everyone! Thanks so much for the fantastic reception on Part 1, it really made me want to write some more to this little story! Here's Part 2, I hope you enjoy it as much as the last one.

Summary: Reader remembers a party she was at, and the Ghoul causes trouble in a saloon.

“Are you enjoying the party?”   

I looked over to my left to see Barb Howard approaching me. She was completely impeccable – her dark skin was glowing, and she had the best-looking hair in the room. Her dress was a beautiful peach colour, and she had a string of pearls around her neck that were probably worth more than all the alcohol spilling at the party. Beside her, I felt ever so slightly dull.   

“Oh, me and Jackie are having such a good time,” I nodded towards the toilets, “he’s currently taking a bathroom break.”   

I felt the need to accentuate my husband’s appearance next to Barb, and I breathed a sigh of relief when Jackie appeared from the toilet and smiled widely at us.   

“Barb, this is a spectacular event. You lot at Vault-Tec certainly know how to throw a party!” he laughed, and I felt a wave of jealousy come over me as she laughed alongside him. Jackie was so good at this – talking to people he barely knew, making them feel like he really cared about them even if he didn’t give a whatsits. “Me and my wife here barely get a chance to go out together at the minute, this filming is taking awfully long.”   

I noticed he winced as he said this, and Barb’s face fell ever so slightly. The one thing we’d both agreed not to mention tonight was the film because we knew I was already on Barb’s bad side after she’d seen The Man from Calabasas. I’d never taken her as a jealous type, but after the premier had finished, Barb had become immediately cold towards me. Her irritation at my presence got worse with Under the Covers, and this one we were currently shooting often had visits to set from Cooper’s wife, who apparently was under the impression I was screwing her husband.   

Not even my marriage had convinced her otherwise and she’d been invited to the wedding.  

“Well, you and I are both feeling the loneliness from our spouses’ schedules, although Cooper’s is most definitely busier.”   

I sucked in a deep breath at her veiled insult, but Jackie just put his hand on the small of my back and pointed to the corner.   

“Look, darling, there’s Charlie,” he smiled politely at Barb, and she forced one back at us. “my apologies, Mrs Howard, but I think we’re being waved over.”   

We walked away from her, and Jackie let out an unhappy sigh.   

“God, you’d think that you’d be flirting with that woman’s husband off-camera with the way she acts towards you.”   

“I barely flirt with him on camera, darling.” I chuckled, and he took me in his arms, placed his hands on my waist and kissed me deeply.  

“I love you, darling.” He said softly, and I smiled back, feeling myself getting lost in his gaze.  

“I love you too, Jackie,” I replied, “I love you very much.”   

***  

“Earth to Little Miss Ryder, are you even fuckin’ listening to me?”   

I turned to the Ghoul, who was waving a gloved hand in my face. I jumped slightly and sent him an uneasy nod. We were walking past the remains of what seemed to be a forest, with trees that were coming back stronger than they’d grown before. Walking along the treeline gave us a bit of shade from the burning sun, but the Ghoul had been shifty since we’d left the hut that morning, looking in every direction at once as if something was going to appear all at once out of nowhere.  

“Yeah, sorry. Just got distracted thinking about someone. I mean, something.”   

“Well, you better keep fuckin’ focused 'cause I think I can see what passed that hut last night.” He gestured in front of me, and I gasped as I saw what he meant.   

Up in the distance, shuffling around aimlessly, was another ghoul.   

“Has it seen us?” I whispered, but he shook his head.   

“Nah, I don’t think so,” he hissed back, “but we’re gonna have to pass it at some point, and it’s definitely feral.”   

In front of us, the feral ghoul began to turn towards us and suddenly I was being pulled behind a tree. He pulled out his gun and gestured for me to do the same.   

“Hey, uh, I should probably have asked you this before, but what’s your name? I don’t want to go ‘hey ghoulie’ and have you both turn to look at me.”   

“I don’t have one.”   

“What do you mean you don’t have one?”   

“I. Don’t. Have. One. Okay?”   

“Everyone has a name!”   

“Oh for fuck’s sake, just call me Sherrif!” he spat out, before leaping out behind the tree and shooting the feral in the head.   

“What kind of a fuckin’ name is Sherrif?” I almost laugh at the implications – this fucking Ghoul, who dressed like a cowboy with a secret love of Westerns wanted to be called Sherrif?   

“It’s my fuckin’ name, Missy.”   

“No, it ain’t.”   

“Yes, it is.”   

The feral currently on the floor began to move again, but Sherrif shot it again, still glaring at me.   

“It’s a fucking stupid name – makes you sound like a dog.”   

He lunged at me – grabbed onto my neck and shoved me against the tree we’d just been hiding behind.   

“Maybe I just am a dog, Missy. I certainly seem to be followin’ you around like one.”  

“Yeah, that’s what I’m fuckin’ paying you for, Sherrif,” He let out an irritated huff, and let me go, adjusting his belt.   

“Never meet your fuckin’ heroes,” he sighed and shook his head. I only let out another laugh and shrugged.   

“I was never the hero, Sherrif. I was the always the damsel in distress, gettin’ tied up by some evildoer and Coop’s character would have to rescue me.”   

“You were pretty fuckin’ fiesty for a damsel in distress.”   

“Only ‘cause the old perverts that liked watching Coop’s pictures liked to see a woman’s titties jiggle as she fought off the evil outlaw.”  

Walking away from the scene, the bounty hunter Ghoul became talkative in a way he hadn’t been before last night.   

“What was it like actin’ alongside the infamous Cooper Howard?” I raised my eyebrows at him, but he only shrugged. “I’m just interested to know if he was a fuckin’ arsehole like actors usually are.”   

“What do you know about actors, Sherrif?”   

“Been around a long time, I suppose.”   

“I can fuckin’ believe that one,” he shot me a dirty look, but I only grinned, “anyway, Coop was actually a pretty nice guy, for the most part. Though it is his fuckin’ fault I’m out here and not sittin’ pretty in a vault with my husband.”   

“The vaults aren’t all they were cracked up to be,” the Sherrif grimaced, and adjusted his hat, “you’re probably better off out here.”   

“You might be right, to be fair. But if I saw him walkin’ ‘round today, I’d sock him right on the mouth.”   

“Haven’t you done that before anyway?” I roll my eyes at his attempt at a joke, but I can’t help but smile.   

“We were acting.”   

“Were you?”   

“Of course I was!” I slap him on the arm, and he grins down at me. For a second, I’m not in the wasteland – I’m back on set with Cooper and Jackie or Greg and we’re just laughing about some dumb shit on the script. Then the wasteland appears before us again and I’m no longer home.   

***  

The next settlement we arrived at was substantial but quiet. The people there didn’t seem scared of us as we dragged ourselves to the watering hole, but there was a look in their eyes like you’d see in a prey animal. We handed over a few caps to the bartender in exchange for a drink and some directions to somewhere to kip for the night.   

“Jus’ head over to Mister J’s place. It’s on the high street, opposite the junk shop. Can’t miss it.”   

“Thank you kindly, sir,” I said, turning back to face the Sherrif. He was looking around us with a hint of suspicion on his face, and I handed him his drink. “what’s up, Sherrif? Does this saloon reek of outlaw or somethin’?”   

The Sherrif grunted but nodded all the same.   

“Somethin’ like that, little Missy. Somethin’ ain’t right here.”   

We hadn’t been sitting in the bar long before that something walked right in, a rather substantial gun in his hand and a crazed look in his red-rimmed eyes. The bar went completely silent, and the ghoul next to me immediately put a hand on his own gun.  

So far, apart from the trouble with raiders and fiends and all that shit, we hadn’t faced a huge threat. But between the haunted looks of the settlement inhabitants, and the coked-up-looking man standing next to the bar, I was sure this was going to be trouble. It reminded me of a scene from Under the Covers, where I’d played a sultry young woman hiding a dark secret opposite Cooper’s detective and he’d got into a bar fight over a mafiosa’s wandering hands.   

I shook my head at the Sherrif, who seemed to be moments away from pulling out his gun and firing it at the coked-up crazy man before he decided to fire at anyone else. He frowned but shifted anyway and pulled his hat further over his face. The sudden intruder whispered something in the ear of the bartender, who had become very interested in the glass he’d been polishing. He put the glass down and poured the man a beer, before quickly going back to polishing his glasses.   

From where we were sat, I had a pretty good view of the dude – his red eyes, thick beard, the bloodied fist clenched around his beer glass. I looked back over at the Sherrif, whose eyes were trained on the gun in the man’s other bloodied hand.   

I made eye contact with the Sherrif and then looked over to the door. He seemed to get my meaning, and we were about to get up when the crazed man began to talk.   

“You got the caps for this month, Jim?” he asked, and the barman cowered, before shaking his head. “I’m sorry, Sir, I haven’t been able to make the full amount since that shootout last month, I just need-”   

“So you don’t have my fucking caps, is that what you’re saying?”  

“No, Sir.”   

At this point, I could see that the barman was shaking, and the other man was holding up his gun, not quite pointing it, but holding it up as if he were inspecting it. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the Sherrif shift in his seat, and his hand returned to the pistol.   

“Well then, I guess I gotta give you a little more time then, eh? A little bit more time to make a few more caps, yeah?”   

“Yes Sir, please. I only need a couple more days.” I was almost certain that the barman was close to shitting himself, and I was beginning to panic that we would be next.  

I remembered men like these – men who would come into the brothel with their guns, pointing them at any whore who dared disobey.  

I remembered shooting a few of them.  

I watched, half in horror and half in dull apathy as the coked-up man raised his gun to the head of the barman, who had resorted to whimpering in fear. There was a click, as he pulled the trigger, but no gunshot ran out.   

The barman let out a cry, but the other man just began to laugh.   

“You got til’ tomorrow. If I don’t get my caps, I’ll shoot you in the fucking head for real.”   

The barman whimpered a thank you and then seemed to crumple to his knees in relief, disappearing from view.   

I let out a sigh of relief of my own, and I saw the Sherrif remove his hand from his holster. I relaxed my shoulders and leaned back into my chair and I saw my companion relax a little himself.   

“Now, what have we got here?”   

Shit. I took a quick look over to the Sherrif, who was currently in a staring contest with the apparent landlord of the saloon.   

“Me and my companion here are just a couple wanderers, enjoying a quick drink,” I hastily begin, “We won’t be sticking around long.”  

“You know, you don’t see many ghouls around these parts.” The Sherrif remained silent, so I attempted to step in again.   

“We’ll be on our way very soon,” I said, “We’re not sticking around, like I said.” I looked over to the Sherrif as I did so, who raised his glass to the Landlord and downed the rest of his drink.   

“You look very familiar, young lady,” the Landlord began, “Have we met before?”  

I shook my head and forced out a smile.   

“We’re nobodies, Sir. Just your average wastelanders.”   

He looked us over, for a moment, before standing aside.   

“Off you go then, average wastelanders.” He had a sneer painted across his scarred, hairy face that I didn’t like but at least he was letting us go.   

We got to the door of the saloon and were about to walk out and find wherever Mr J’s was when the Landlord’s voice called out to us once again.   

“I know where I remember you, Little Missy,” my breath caught in the back of my throat and I clenched my jaw. “You work at that brothel near Scrapheap, right? You were a slave there.”   

“I earned my freedom,” I bit out, “I don’t work there anymore.” 

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t just knock you out and sell you back to it? I’m sure they’re missing their best worker.” He leered at me and I felt myself shiver. His eyes felt like they were piercing right through my bones. I opened my mouth to speak again, but I was interrupted before I could make a sound.   

“You try anythin’ and I’ll shoot a bullet through your thick fuckin’ skull, alright?” Beside me, the Sherrif grinned and pointed his gun at the man in front of us. “I’d say that’s one good fuckin’ reason.”   

The Landlord let out a loud, unhinged laugh. A few people around us began to laugh as well, and then the Ghoul standing next to me began to laugh as well.   

He shot at the Landlord, and all hell broke loose. 

[shaineybainey]

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 initial thoughts

[ NOT spoiler-free ]

For me, this is one of the few franchises that got better and better as it went along. This third movie was just absolutely phenomenal. As someone had said, it is a great send-off to the movie and the Guardians we've known.

They did a great job exploring Rocket's origin. It really explains why he's never wanted to talk about his past. It was violent and heartbreaking. Nebula's line of "They did worse things to him than Thanos did to me" (or something along that line) summarized it best. You also understand why Rocket can be so violent: it wasn't much because he learned it from the people who engineered him, but because the last time he tried to get away safely, quietly, his friends - essentially his family - all got killed. And the person who caused it was so cold about it. So while he could be extreme, he does it so that no one can hurt him or any of his friends ever again.

Which leads to this other point: Rocket is a grump and a cynic, but deep down he actually really loved the other Guardians.

Adam Warlock! I didn't know what to expect from him, but after seeing the movie, I want to see more of him.

Also: it's great that the movie managed to give Adam his own origin story, his own motivation for why he eventually ended up being a guardian.

Drax was hilarious in this movie, as he always is, but Mantis kinda came for the crown a bit! The fact that she made him fall in love with a sock for fun and made one of the guards they had to get through fall in love with him were some of the funniest moments in the movie.

On a more serious Drax note: "Drax. You weren't meant to be a destroyer. You were meant to be a dad." One of the best lines in the movie. I never would have thought that this is how Drax would "grow up" as a character, but it all made sense. It does.

Kraglin had a fantastic growth too. He'd been trying to train with the arrow Yondu gave him over and over and over, trying to concentrate and plan and think. And he kept failing over and over and over. But when Knowhere was in danger, he finally remembered what Yondu told him: "Fly it with your heart." When he realized that he needed to get out of his head, man did he do some damage. It was amazing.

The bad dog/good dog argument 😂

Gamora. I like how they approached that. They didn't make her fall in love with Peter, even after all the fighting that they did as a team. They were barely even good friends in the end. Also, it's nice that she has a different family to belong to now (the Ravagers) but who still loved her just the same. It's good that they didn't try to change her. They made her realistic.

Lol "You guys are just making up what he's saying" when Groot would talk

Nebula. Oh, man, where do I begin. I've started really liking her as a character since GotG 2, and even more so during Endgame, but wow. She's really grown. She looks after the people of Knowhere, the Guardians look to her for big decisions and even resolution for internal problems of the team. The team respects her, even more than Peter most times. She still has rage inside, and she has trouble expressing other feelings without it, but I think she's made tremendous progress. And it's so obvious that she cares deeply about the team and even the lives of others, even if she doesn't outright say it.

Okay. There's a lot to unearth with the not-so-subtle hints at Peter/Nebula. First off, it's obvious in this movie and even in the Christmas special that Nebula's been looking after Peter. But the fact that she would take him home whenever he was totally wasted and put him to bed, making sure he was comfortable? And when Gamora was going to hurt Peter out of frustration and Nebula jumped in to stop her, practically telling her to back off? And that when Gamora suggested that the woman Peter's describing, the one that he's fallen in love with because she's grown from being ruthless to being caring, is Nebula, and Peter started looking at her differently? Bruh. I don't know what they're playing at here, but alright. I'm onboard.

Speaking of Peter, I like that he decided to come back home to Earth to reach out to his grandfather. I'd like to think he got a little help from the Avengers to get to that doorstep (info, means of transpo, things like that). It was great to see him in a normal life setting in the post-credit, too, where he's just eating cereal, talking smack about someone behind their back lol

Okay, that's it for now. Will come back when I remember the other things I liked (spoiler alert: there's a TON)

[sil-te-plait-tue-moi]

i wonder if u agree, but sometimes when i read old man rust x younger oc, it's weird to me picturing somebody in early/mid twenties bc, realistically, that would make the oc around his daughter's age, and i don't think rust can go for that. i say that as somebody who's 23, so i don't mean to exclude younger women or whatever. anyway, that's why i really like your oc bc she seems like an actual match for rust and not bc of age, but bc she's just the type of person i can see him falling for, i guess? like directly canonically in the series, so yeah, thank you for your work!!! but that got me wondering: when u started to write, did you have somebody in mind already and thought of how that sort of oc will work with rust, or did u ask urself what sort of person compliments rust best? sorry if this is too much trouble.

NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE i think this is acc a super interesting ask!

my opinions below the cut…

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

RIGHT so i wanna preface by saying EVERY SINGLE rust oc story ive read so far has meat to it, like the authors know their shit and they should get their due snaps and kudos

i think i read younger ofcs with like a pinch of salt in the sense that i know it’s a bit crazy — btw this is coming from someone who had a “relationship” with a much older man at the ripe age of 16 — but i think it’s still good to read

things we experience can be ugly and uncomfortable but it’s still real and a part of me appreciates like keeping it real 💀 this is going to sound a little femcel of me but let’s be honest, sex is about power and the dynamics of that power give intricacies to stories that make them interesting! rust is a man (😔) and have you ever seen that one study of like ages of women men find most attractive and it’s a consistent 20 even as men get to like 70

yeah

keeping it uncomfortably real but real nonetheless

true detective is southern gothic and what i love about southern gothic is that it doesn’t shy away from touching on the less palatable corners of human existence/nature/WHATever. do i see why a daughter woman child thing as a love interest to a middle aged man with a dead baby is off-putting? YES. do i still read things along those lines because it’s interesting? ALSO YES. because more often than not creators are self-aware and explore these topics with nuance, which i respect massively

now onto like the sort of second part of you ask, beautiful anon…

when writing The Idler Wheel, idk if i was thinking as deeply when creating an oc as i was fixated on the weirdness of rust and ocs like yearning 😭? for each other, and the fact that he felt anything at all was a massive woaaaahhh for them both. the way we experience / act on desire (not even sexual just any kind but actually maybe especially sexual) says so much about a person and i guess that’s the single point from which i branched out, and every other aspect of her came later

the reason she/oc is not like twenty is because, similar to what you said, i cannot picture 1995–2002 (around that time) rust with a youngYOUNGGGG woman becaaaause holy shit i think he’d just die, like out of sadness or hurt, i think he wouldn’t be able to look at her at all 💀

old dog rust on the other hand does not give a shit about doing what’s “right” imo if that makes sense, like he’s who he is and he feels what he feels and i think this version of rust would be much more receptive to a younger woman, even if it’s “wrong” because he literally just doesn’t care anymore

i think the only reason The Idler Wheel girl was able to sneak her way in around that time is because she’s grown and a part of his workplace and therefore she should be “safe”, no more than any of his coworkers. so he lets her in his space and he lets her bring him coffee and he lets her do him favours because she’s just like the others and he just has to tolerate her, just has to see her

but of course she’s not like his coworkers and he can’t place why he wants her so bad, only that he does, which is bad because she should be mundane and she should be nothing and yet unfortunately he wants to be her dog

does this answer your q or did i go off on a tangent

i love you anon 💕💕💕💕

[igotanidea]

No strings attached (3) : neighbor!JT x reader

masterlist

part. 1

part 2

Warning: swearing and innuendos, but nothing explicit, yet....

***

He didn’t really run far that night.

In the first alley he turned into, hoping to get some space away from his brothers he spotted a young woman getting attacked by some very drunk and very aggressive men and it made him cool off instantly once he beaten them off. Not for long though.

“Lena!” some way to familiar voice came from behind and another girl, who apparently did not care that it was the Red Hood in the flesh, came running, pushing him away before getting to her friend.

Y/N.

What was she doing here.

Was she all right?

God, it could have been her getting assaulted….

If so, Jason would probably tear the half of the Gotham down to ease his anger.

“Lena, are you all alright?” Y/N asked her friend, hugging the other girl tightly, checking for any bruises, cuts or other possible damages “I told you not to go outside!”

“I’m…. I’m sorry…..”

“Shit, Len, why can’t you just listen to me for once. You don’t know Gotham, you have no idea how shitty things can get in a matter of seconds……”

“I ….”

“Ekhem….” Jason took the moment to clear his throat and capture the girls’ attention.

“Oh, great” Y/N rolled her eyes “you just have to attract the Red Hood, Len. Why couldn’t it be Nightwing? At least we would know the blue one wouldn’t mock us.”

“Oh, not again” Jason grabbed his chest in the fake pain “why does every single lady in this hell hole dream about Nightwing, huh? Why is there no love for me?” he whined and looked down.

“Go inside, Len. I need to have a word with our underestimated protector.”

“But….”

“Just go.” Y/N pushed her towards the door to the bar and the other girl did not oppose this time. Once she disappeared, Y/N turned towards Jace and sighed deeply. “You probably don’t hear it very often, so thank you, Red. On the behalf of my crazy acquaintance. She’s not from around, not really familiar with the rules even if I told her thousands of times.” She shook her head lightly “Stubborn girl.”

“Seems like someone else I know.” Jason mumbled

“I’m sorry?” Y/N widened her eyes and it made his mind spin again.

“N-nothing, never mind.”

“did you just stuttered?” Y/N smirked in disbelief. “Is Red Hood intimidated by a common girl?”

“Do you want to see the scary version of me?”

“I’m afraid I don’t have enough time for this. Anyway, like I said, thank you for your help. And sorry to bother you, guess you have enough on your plate.”

“I always find some time for pretty ladies.” He smirked under the helmet not that she could see it.

“Right.” Y/N laughed “then I’m definitely not the one you should be talking to.”

Shit. She was just unreasonably good at diminishing herself and it was truly painful.

“Don’t you have any other place to be?” she tilted her head when he still didn’t move, eyes fixed on her face, making her a bit uncomfortable ‘because it’s all fine here and I’d hate to stall you.”

“Yeah, um, right.” He came back to reality, in which she was standing in front of him, not laying underneath, whispering his real name, not the vigilante one.  Back from the world, in which she was pulling him in and arching her back to get closer to his body, letting his hands roam all over her curves  and not telling him to go away. In which she didn’t need any clothes, even that pretty little outfit she had on at the moment.  “You…. you try to stay safe, sunshine, will ya?”

“In Gotham?” she raised an eyebrow “And people say you have no sense of humor, Red. Anyhow, I hope we will never get to meet under similar circumstances.”

“cause you want Nightwing?”

“Cause I don’t want trouble. Trust me, I already got enough of them. “ her eyes became a bit blurry and he started to wonder whether she was now thinking about her unruly neighbor Jason and what exactly was on her mind about him.

Shit, he was getting hard for her again.

“Nevermind. Gotta go scoff my friend for being reckless. You…. don’t get killed, I guess?  I’m not really sure what to say as a farewell to a vigilante….”

“That will do.” He smirked again and watched her as she turned around and disappeared inside the bar.

“Who was that?!”

“DAMN IT!” Dick took him completely by surprise by coming so close, without being noticed. In any other circumstances Jason would feel his presence from far away, but seemingly Y/N got him too distracted for that.  “what the fuck, Dickhead?”

“Do you know her?”

“It’s not your damn business.”

“She’s pretty you know. And seemingly bold. Couldn’t blame me you for falling for her. “

“I’m not falling for anyone! I don’t do relationships!”

“Right. You’re Mr. no-strings-attached. So, to say the least, you just want to fuck her, don’t you?”

“She’s my freaking neighbor!”

“Oh, I see.” Dick laughed “not ideal, but it can work for you, though. You can always come live in the Manor if something goes wrong. “

“You’re a terrible person” Jason hissed and walked away.

However, secretly, he started to think about what Grayson said. Not living in the Wayne Manor of course, but what if he truly did get what he wanted and then switched places? Could he do that? Was he that desperate to bed her and then leave? That was what he used to after all.

***

Y/N was always the responsible one. The mum of the group. Sticking to the rules, making sure her drunk as skunks friends got home safe. It was how she was. Trying to act mature. Trying to avoid trouble even if sometimes it  didn’t seem to work otherwise.

But it was a pain in the ass, since she obviously did not get to have a single drink during the night. Not much fun. So once she drove all the girls homes and made sure they locked the doors behind her, she came across the liquid store that was still open at 5 am. Good thing it was Saturday and she could sleep for as long as she wanted. But before going to bed, she was planning on having a one-person pity party getting wasted in the cosines of her own apartment. Seems like she couldn’t have counted on anything else.

Not that she really minded ,being the person who would rather avoid big crowds. Honestly, she was out tonight only because Lena dragged her out. It was supposed to be a celebration of the success of her newest play. Wonder if she would still consider it a success when upon waking up in the morning the hangover would dominate her mind and body.

Y/N didn’t even wait to get to her apartment when she opened the bottle. She took the first sip while still sitting in the care, not giving a damn about the rules and expectations. Not anymore. Then, taking off her pinching shoes started walking onto her floor, barefoot. When she reached the 6th floor, half of the bottle was already gone and she started getting dizzy. She was always light-headed. And maybe that was why she remembered that her crazy neighbor promised her a wine for help. Might as well do it now, while she was still in her “hot girl shit” phase.

“Todd!” she whispered-yelled, knocking at his door wondering how hard his sleep was and whether she could wake him up “Todd! Open up!”

“What the hell?!” indeed, he did open, but this was not the sight she was expecting to see. It looked like he was just taking a shower (who showers at 5 am on Saturday?!), and was standing in front of her wrapped up only in a towel hanging loosely on his hips. His bare torso was glistening and the angle of the light coming from the hallway routed out all the scars that littered his skin. He however doesn’t seem to care at all. Good choice since her hazy mind was now barely registering what was real and what not. “Y/N?” his voice became concerned and he himself got aware that he was standing half-naked in front of his neighbor.

The neighbor that was making him horny.

Shit.

“Hey, Jason….” she slurred “Never knew you look so good, under all those layers you wear. Damn, not I understand why that …. what was her name again? Maddie? Madison? Whatever…. I get why she is so stuck on you. With that body, damn boy, every girl would love to have you over or under or truly, everywhere” god please let the poor girl forget about all that drunk talk in the morning. If she knew, she would be the one switching places, not Jason. “But….” she staggered before catching her balance “I’m fine, I’m fine” those assurance were not really convincing, but Jason let her continue “I came for that wine you promised me.” She leaned on the doorframe, taking another sip from the bottle

“At 5 am?!” Jason reached inside his apartment grabbing a hoodie and putting it over his head trying to cover himself.

“Why not?” she giggled “I had a party with my girls, you know….. I didn’t really have any fun, so this…” she pointed towards her drink “is a compensation I guess. Might make it two.”

“I think you have enough” he stated and took the bottle from her hands, making her whine and whimper.

Shit again.

She truly was making pretty sounds.

“Give it back to me!”

“No, Y/N.”

“You’re a party pooper, Jason Todd.” She pouted “but if that’s how you are going to play, I guess I just go back to my place and ….”She didn’t get to finish that sentence, suddenly bending down and throwing up on his doorstep. Thank god, Jason’s instincts kicked in and he managed to hold her hair back. “Fuck….” She mumbled “this is so embarrassing ….. I’m sorry….. I’ll clean this up, I promise……”

“Don’t bother.” He shook his head “guess that makes us even, doesn’t it?”

“Mhm….” She muttered sleepily “I’ll be more than happy to start this acquaintance once again. We didn’t have a really good start, did we?” she chuckled

“Will you remember what you just said in the morning?”

“No…..?” she hesitated for a moment, her eyes falling shot and it took a lot of fight to not let them “will you remind me?”

“Sure.”

“I…. I feel sick to my stomach….. I’d better go.”

“You’re crazy if you think I’m leaving you by yourself in this state” he grabbed her waist gently and pulled her inside.

“Jason Todd, are you trying to  get me to bed?” she giggled drunkenly

“You have no idea…..” he hissed, but it was obvious he was not going to use a wasted girl. He needed consent, verbal consent if anything were to happen. He always made sure of that. Otherwise, it would just be sick and beyond any level.  He was one-night-stander but not a savage or a rapist, damn it. So instead of letting his mind get consumed by lust he just carried her towards the bathroom and washed her face and forced her to get some water to clear the throat after throwing up. Her skin was just so soft and felt so right when he was touching her face. So smooth and silky it took a lot to not test if her lips were equally supple. But he gritted his teeth and fight the urge.

Before she could even realize what was happening he picked her up, bridal style and carried towards the bed. It was still made since he barely got back from patrol and had no time to mess it up. At least one thing was fixed in that crazy situation. He gently laid her down, but her limbs and her body refused to let him go. Apparently, once the first flirty and funny phase ended she got clingy and childish, wanting hugs and cuddles, even if they were coming from him (if she even knew who him was).

“Jason…..” she whined, when actually managed to free himself from her. Unwillingly, obviously, since he could keep her pressed to him like that for hours. But again, she had to be sober for that. Otherwise, how would she know how good he truly was  in bed (yes, it was not only about girls’ safety and consent but also a bit about bragging.)

“Yeah?”

“where will you sleep?”

“Couch.”

“Please, don’t….”

“What?” he froze at the spot. Was she really asking him to lay down with her? In his bed? With her body so close to him? With those flesh for the taking? His body ached for that, his hands started to shake as he imagines all the places they could wonder. Her waist, her belly, her breast…… “NO!” he yelled suddenly, startling her and getting another whimper. Shit, she was going to kill him, involuntarily “you sleep here, I’m taking the couch. Can’t risk you trying to grope me in your sleep with those sleazy hands…..

“Very funny, Todd. Ha, ha….” She trailed, but the sentence was finished only by the little snores and the sound of quiet breathing. “Thank you….” those two words reached him when he was almost out the bedroom door.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” he only responded.

This was going to be a long, sleepless night.

How could he even close an eye, knowing she was right behind the wall.

So fucking close……

@llnellyll

[inkedhigh]

@jakeandsadieadler this can be farfetch, but i came across this letter coming from an elderly rich man from Blackwater. Its a letter written to his son named Jacob. When i read it I can't help to think this is connected to Jake. It's about the father being upset with his son, who wants to marry a woman who is far lesser than him. Clearly whoever this 'Jacob' is, he was born with money and his family disapproves to associate anyone poorer than them. He explains how love was never in the picture when it came to marriage. It can make sense seeing how Jake isn't used to the mountain life, he is more laid back, enjoys reading a lot more than working. He could've also changed his name, throwing away Jacob to not be associated with where he came from. Plus in RDO, he talks about having trouble with money and the letter explains how he was disinherited and taken out of the will, receiving not even a penny. There is no Last name written in here unfortunately, but i can't help to feel the connection.

.

Dear Jacob, Our conversation Thursday last was deeply disturbing. I cannot believe You would see fit to disobey me. To disobey the family. We did not achieve our stature in life by following our hearts. By giving into every silly whim and childish fancy that takes hold of us. I thought you understood this. Do you think I married for love?

Do you think that your grandfather did? My mother was a fine woman and a good mother, but no man could love her. We have our position in society because of these sacrifices. Now you wish to throw it all away because of a dalliance with someone who you described as an actress. But I have reason to pursue is little more than a streetwalker. How could you?

I hope you were left entirely aware of my displeasure. I do not care if she is with child. I do not care if she is a nice young woman. She is beneath you. You must cast her adrift at once, Be kind of course, but firm. No son and heir of yours can be born to such a woman. I have made an appointment with the lawyer, I am preparing a codicil to the will. I shall disinherit you if you disobey me.

[aluyatoktokbang]

"CREEPYPASTA SANTA CRUZ"

~ ORIGIN ~

PART 1 ~

- Born on November 1, 1999, in Mexico, Karen Isabella de la Cruz was an 18-year-old girl with an elegant and refined personality. She was somewhat reserved, serious, and preferred not to attract much attention, keeping a low profile. She was the daughter of Judge Victor Marlon Addams, a 43-year-old born in Colorado, USA, known for his exceptional role as a judge. He was loved and respected by the community for his kind and gentle personality and his relentless pursuit of truth in every case he handled, earning the affection of many people. Her mother, Sister Maria Pauline de la Cruz, was a 41-year-old nun from Mexico, also cherished by a small community. She was considered one of the most kind-hearted and beautiful women, often described as the closest thing to an angel. She actively participated in the masses at the convent where she lived, as she was a deeply devoted woman who had dedicated her life to her faith, God, the Church, and her reverence for Christianity.

Her parents met in Mexico, where Victor was beginning his training as a judge. Although he was born in the United States, his parents had moved to Mexico, and he spent most of his life there. One day, while out for a walk on his day off, he saw Pauline carrying heavy bags of supplies for the convent. Wanting to help, he offered his assistance, which left the young nun both enamored and deeply grateful for his kindness. Victor, in turn, was captivated by her beauty. However, he was careful not to disrespect her, as he knew many nuns took vows of chastity to strengthen their connection with God. In fact, Pauline had taken such vows, having been raised in a religious family and wholly devoted to her faith. She never expected to meet someone who would make her fall hopelessly in love. Not wanting to lose the opportunity to be with Victor, she lied to him, claiming she had never taken the vows. Although she faced criticism from her "sisters" for breaking her vow of chastity, she remained determined to marry him. What Victor did not know was that Pauline had become obsessed with him, drawn in by his kindness, the love he showed her, and, of course, his beauty in her eyes. The more time she spent with him, the more her obsession grew, but she always managed to conceal it to avoid trouble in their relationship. Eventually, they married.

Karen Isabella de la Cruz spent most of her life in Mexico, where she had a difficult childhood. She had a very close relationship with her father—he adored her, took care of her, and ensured she had everything necessary for a decent life while also educating her to be kind and humble. However, her relationship with her mother was complicated. Pauline’s obsession with Victor was so intense that she became jealous of the affection he showed their daughter. She only wanted his love for herself and had never even planned to have children in the first place. She had only accepted motherhood because Victor dreamed of becoming a father, and she was willing to do anything to be with him. This was why Karen never formed a bond with her mother—they barely spoke. Pauline never hugged her, kissed her, or showed any maternal love, and when she did, it was only in front of Victor to maintain the illusion of a loving mother. Though this affected Karen, she learned to live with it. Over time, she grew used to her mother’s indifference and stopped seeking her affection. As long as her father continued to love, care for, and protect her, it was enough.

Victor dedicated himself to teaching Karen kindness, respect, manners, and gentleness toward everyone, whether they were strangers, family, or friends. Over time, these values became an integral part of her personality. Neighbors knew her as a beautiful, friendly girl who was always willing to help, just like her father. She deeply admired him—not only because of their close bond but also because of his work as a judge. She respected how he sought truth and justice, giving a voice to those too afraid to ask for help. Inspired by him, she decided that after finishing high school, she would study law and work hard to become an excellent judge like her father. She dreamed of ensuring that criminals faced justice and that corrupt police officers would no longer accept bribes or cover up crimes for their own benefit—something her father had always fought against.

At 15, Karen moved to Colorado, USA, with her family due to her father’s job. The county’s Chief Justice had passed away from natural causes, and recognizing Victor’s exceptional work, officials offered him the position. Wanting to provide a better life for his family, he accepted. Karen had to adapt to a new environment, learn English, and adjust to a different school. Although it was difficult at first, she eventually settled in. Outwardly, she remained the same refined, elegant, kind, and gentle young woman, but at home, she endured increasing abuse from her mother.

Karen did not consider herself an atheist, which often clashed with her mother’s strict religious beliefs. Even after moving, Pauline continued her formation as a nun at a nearby convent. She often urged Karen to grow closer to God, claiming that it was the only way to make up for ruining her life by being born. Karen refused—not because she wanted to disrespect her mother, but because she struggled to believe. She was skeptical of the Church, seeing how it exploited people’s faith for money. She had even heard rumors that the local priest had stolen donations for his own benefit.

For her mother, a religious fanatic, it was unacceptable that her daughter lacked faith. What began as small insults escalated into physical abuse—beatings with a belt, cutting her arms while she slept, and mixing excessive amounts of medication into her food. Over time, Karen became more withdrawn and fearful of being in her own home. These abuses always happened behind her father’s back, as he was often away due to his work, returning home late at night.

Karen never wanted to tell her father about the abuse because she knew how much he loved Pauline. He genuinely believed in his wife’s goodness and devotion. The thought of shattering his perception of the woman he adored was unbearable to Karen. She didn’t want to see him sad or guilt-ridden, realizing that his wife was nothing more than an obsessed, deceptive woman. Most importantly, she didn’t want him to feel responsible for not noticing the abuse. He was a good man, kind, gentle, and innocent in his generous nature—he didn’t deserve to carry that burden. So she made a decision: she swore never to tell him. No matter what her mother did, Karen would endure it to protect her father’s happiness.

For three long, agonizing years, Karen suffered in silence. The abuse affected her not only physically but also psychologically. She noticed that her mother was heavily influenced by the words of the convent’s sisters and the priest. They were well aware of Karen’s distant relationship with her mother and that she struggled with faith. They convinced Pauline that Karen was a demon, a divine punishment for breaking her vow of chastity, a test from God to challenge her faith. The only way to rid herself of this evil, they claimed, was to "purge" the sin—to combat the devil through suffering. If she endured and overcame this trial, she would be forgiven and could keep the man she loved for eternity.

Karen couldn’t understand how her mother could believe such absurd conclusions. But Pauline eagerly embraced these ideas, using them to justify her actions. Karen feared that one day, her mother might go too far and end her life. Slowly, her fear turned into something else—hatred. She realized that her mother’s religious beliefs were the driving force behind her suffering.

Her father eventually noticed that Karen had become quieter and more serious. Concerned, he asked her what was wrong. But Karen remained true to her promise—she never told him the truth. Instead, she made up excuses: she missed Mexico, she struggled with school, or she simply felt sad for no reason. Her father, always wanting to see her happy, did everything he could to cheer her up. He upheld their cultural traditions, cooked her favorite meals, and spent time with her. These moments helped, but they couldn’t erase the pain.

Karen’s mother, seeing how much closer her husband and daughter had become, grew more jealous. Her hatred intensified. Karen knew that the worst was yet to come.

Will continue...

[sugasiren]

☆ASTRO FACTS☆ ♈️

The Aries Woman & Her Real Power ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 Pt 1

**FYI - this blog contains mature content.

Time to clear up some misconceptions! And confirm some truths. So pull up your seat, grab a snack & prepare for TOTAL fucking honesty. 💯 While this post is primarily about Aries Suns, much of it can also be applied to other Aries placements in general. So take whatever resonates.

♈️ Aries Women are usually into more dominant, masculine types. They adore men who are stronger & smarter than them whom they can learn from. 👍While Aries Women are indeed fully capable of taking care of themselves, they love knowing that they can lean on and trust the man that they love if needed. They prefer reliable partners with backbone. They have NO respect for passive males, as they will DESTROY a weaker man's soul. 🔥 Eat him alive just like the large plant in the 'Little Shop of Horrors' movie. 🤣 It truly ain't pretty!

♈️ Contrary to popular LIES... many Aries Women are VERY feminine. They aren't doormats though! Nor the girl-next-door type. Ram Women typically embody the "Hot Girl" or the "Femme Fatale" brand of Femininity. ❤️‍🔥 She's often the Leader of the pack whom other women model themselves after & want to be like. Jayne Mansfield, Diana Ross & Mariah Carey - Aries Sun 🌞; Sade, Janet Jackson, Pam Anderson - Aries Moon 🌙; Marilyn Monroe & Liz Taylor - Aries Venus ⚘️. Are any of these women Tomboys?? FUCK NO! They are womanly, spicy & passionate beings. Learn the damn difference.

I sometimes find that Taurus, Cancer & Virgo Women can push the "masculine" stereotype onto Aries Women the most because they wish to be more like them in certain ways. 💯 For instance, most Aries Women aren't taking care of ANY man. But I've seen Taurus paying for men, Cancer mothering men & Virgo trying to train men into being obedient dogs! Add to that, Scorpio Women are often control freaks who insist on leading. Sag & Aquarius Women are rebels who often try to compete with & emasculate any man that they encounter. So who's actually lacking in Femininity here?? Not Aries, from what I see. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Lots of projection going on.

♈️ Aries Women are indeed outspoken. They are typically confident & in possession of strong boundaries. They are open & honest communicators who aren't afraid to ask for what they want. Most Men LOVE this about them and wish more women were like this! 🩷 Alternatively, deep inside of every Ram Woman is a sweet, adventurous little girl with a heart of GOLD who yearns to feel safe. ❤️‍🔥 A maiden wanting her protector! They're an astonishing blend of pure innocence like the Spring Goddess Persephone + the wit & warrior spirit of Goddess Athena. 🙌 There are sooo many interesting layers to the Aries Woman!! It's insanely fascinating. They are deeply selective with who they disclose all of this to, though. So they can be misunderstood at times.

♈️ Aries Women are Masters of keeping men ON THEIR TOES in a healthy way. They like men and men adore them. 👌 They highly value autonomy, so they extend that to their partners and give them breathing room. They inspire men to be better, more powerful versions of themselves. They do have tempers!! But they don't hold grudges and their sex more than makes up for the trouble. 😺 They are playful and NEVER boring! How TF do you think we keep attracting the best of the best?? Not by being a Basic Bitch, my friends. 🤣

♈️ According to Marriage Statistics: Aries Women have the longest-lasting marriages with Leo Men, Sagittarius Men, Aquarius Men & Aries Men. ⚘️⚘️ After that, we also have solid odds with Capricorn & Taurus Men. We most often divorce Virgo, Gemini & Libra Men which makes TOTAL sense to me. Not surprised! Aries Women do not enjoy flaky and/or nitpicky partners.

♈️ Aries Women are just as sensitive & intuitive as Cancers in certain ways - we just follow our GUT instincts more than the emotions of our heart. 🔥 We're rarely wrong about someone's character. We bully the bullies! And *if* we care about you, we have your back until the very end. But if you betray us?? You will go from feeling like the most special person in the world... to the most worthless piece of gum scraping off the bottom of our shoe as we walk away from you FOREVER. 🙌 Do not play with us!! Don't play yourself by losing the best prize you'll ever have.

That's all for now, darlings. Happy Aries Season!! ♈️ And thanks so very much for all of the new follows, shares & support!

[ippolita324]

Why Bellatrix Lestrange was so crazy (Most Noble and Ancient House of Black Headcanon)

• As someone who descended from generations of inbreeding, she suffered from mental instability from birth, which only worsened as she got older

• She inherited her Aunt Walburga’s explosive and dangerous temper, and extreme attitude on blood purity

• She had an inherently dominant and forceful personality, and excelled in anything that required adrenaline

• Her family environment was oppressive and as the eldest daughter she was given the most responsibilities snd expectations

• As Sirius and Regulus were both much younger, she was raised like a firstborn son and treated with little affection by her father

• However she was still a woman and could not escape the patriarchal values of the Black family which expected women to be submissive and continue the bloodline

• On the other hand she was also told the Blacks were the most illustrious family ever and thus she developed a high opinion of herself

• Her loud, argumentative and boisterous attitude did not sit well with her parents, who as a result constantly punished her

• Unlike her more suave sister Narcissa she was unable to hide her opinions and often got into trouble for it

• Despite being a top notch student, her parents paid little compliment to her achievements, instead expecting her to marry a pure blood heir as soon as she graduated

• Her parents cared little about her feelings and desires, but merely expected her to unquestionably follow their orders and honor the family name

• This authoritarian upbringing was what later endeared her to Voldemort’s authoritarian regime, and she gradually adopted her family’s cold and ruthless attitude

• As a teenager she was also insecure, craving for praise and validation that she never received, and having to shoulder her family’s responsibilities without having anyone to confide in

• She felt deeply betrayed by Andromeda’s elopement with Ted Tonks, as it was kept a secret, and despite herself taking the responsibility to protect her sisters, Andromeda did not appreciate it at all

• She fell in with the wrong crowd at school, many of her friends being the children of the first generation of Death Eaters, and they delved deeply into dark magic

• Her marriage with Rodolphus was arranged by their families, with little love or attachment, the main purpose being to forge a beneficial alliance

• Being ‘forced’ into a loveless marriage was partially what made Bellatrix so bitter, and she vowed never to have children and instead devoted herself entirely to Voldemort

• Despite fervently championing her family’s beliefs, she also had a rebellious streak, and refused to be a broodmare like other pure blood women, regarding it as something beneath her status as a female warrior

• Her hostile attitude towards traditional gender roles and motherhood made her an outcast amongst pure blood women, and she fell in deeper and deeper with male Death Eaters

• She didn’t have a single caring or nurturing bone in her body and was serious about sacrificing any hypothetical sons to the Dark Lord

• Voldemort gave her the attention her father never did, saw her as a truly brilliant witch superior to the men around her, and gave her free rein to unleash her frustration and rage

• She fell head over heels for Voldemort, partially in awe of his magical prowess and charming demeanor, and partially to spite her family for forcing her into a loveless marriage

• In her twisted mind, Voldemort also gave her a gateway to freedom, as no one else could ever tell her what to do with his protection, and Voldemort would never want his best lieutenant to be out of action due to pregnancy

• She was secretly jealous of Narcissa for marrying someone she loved, but also saw her as the only remaining sister and family she could confide in

[benegesseritofficial]

Pushing Daisies has immediately struck me as extraordinarily queer coded. Enjoy my rant.

This show came out in 2007 and yet Ned is an extremely gentle man in every aspect of his characterization. He was emotionally wounded as a child, a fact we linger on and explore at length. He drives people away but in an incredibly passive way. He isn't interested at all in the hot woman throwing herself at him. The only person he's interested in was his childhood best friend. The man is passive, sweet, and a romantic; not someone who would chase you but a prize to be won.

Chuck is literally named Chuck. Sure her name is Charlotte but when we first meet her she's in a dinosaur costume and her name is Chuck. No one's called her Chuck since Ned, and when he does again she only wants him to call her Chuck. Almost immediately everyone calls her Chuck. Also... Charolette Charles? Charolette is the feminine form of Charles. Gender fuckery is afoot from square one. And she's assertive. She has no trouble talking over Ned, or any other man for that matter. She cares deeply about feelings and emotions and her perceptions of right and wrong, and she will steamroll anyone who tries to contradict her. She kisses Ned first. She figures out how she can safely kiss Ned. They both wanted it but she's the one who starts problem solving. Now, her actress Anna Friel is slender, her hair is long, and she is dressed exclusively like a 1950s fashion model. She's 5'5", but dwarfed by Lee Pace's 6'5". But what if she wasn't? What if she was opposite a man who wasn't a fucking tree? What if these lines and actions were given to a woman who wasn't a size 2? What if Anna Friel wore jeans for even one scene while Chuck interrupts and problem solves and takes action? Well, the audience might start to notice that the character isn't very feminine at all. Chuck is all character and very little gender. She could really be played by anyone.

And finally, Olive. Dear, sweet, Olive, longing after a man who shuts down one half her advances and doesn't seem to notice the other half. Olive, who is bold and brash and catty and fun and (apparently, by the costuming department's choices) obsessed with '70s fashion. It's 2007. A gay writer cannot express his struggles longing after a straight man who will never care for him. Not in so many words. But he could write most of that character. He could just swap a few little details and pronouns. By the time a minuscule, high voiced actress is reading Olive's lines, the average straight viewer would never even guess. But there Olive is; a readymade gay icon, over the top and feminine and unapologetically attracted to men. Everything a more feminine gay man wishes he could be out in the open. Olive can tell gay men's stories when they couldn't use their own voices. Relatedly, once you see her and Chuck's aunts as drag queens, you just can't unsee it. When Olive first meets those two, they take her under their wing as a kindred spirit. In the course of telling a story, it's not a trope or action that makes much sense for straight women. Younger women don't seek out and value the advice of old women. Not on TV, not in the cultural wisdom of 2007 or today. Gay men on the other hand. Drag queens on the other hand. If you were in the culture, you understood to value your elders when they bestowed wisdom.

And none of that addressing the situation. Ned absolutely cannot touch the person he's in love with. He and Chuck kiss in (I think) the third episode. Chuck isn't a love interest, she is arguably his girlfriend for most of the series. And yet, a forced wall must remain between them. Chuck has to remain in disguise when they're in public. They are together, but still feel they have to restrain themselves. There is no clear future for their relationship, no matter how in love they are. Much like a gay couple might feel, years before widespread societal acceptance and legal recognition of their relationship. It isn't safe, and only a few close friends can know.

[honourablejester]

Blades in the Dark Character Concept: Back Alley Leech

My immediate next thought, following the Lovecraftian Tycherosi Whisper? A back alley doctor of a Leech! Back alley doctor is just a trope I deeply enjoy, and Leeches fit that bill!

So. We’re going to be doing a physicker leech, someone who looks out for people on the wrong side of the law. Naturally, my first thought for Heritage is Skovlan, because refugees. Because Skovlan just lost a war, and Doskvol is full of disenfranchised and displaced Skovlanders. So we have a doctor, a Skovlander herself, who was trained in Skovlan, and who when she landed here wanted to use her skills to help her fellow countrymen where perhaps the native Akorosians might not.

With that, with Skovlan as a thought. The reason Skovlan went to war, 30 years ago, was because the Empire moved a huge chunk of their incredibly toxic leviathan blood processing to the Skovlan factory town of Lockport. And Skovlan protested. Strenuously. For thirty years. And lost. So … Maybe she’s from Lockport, our girl. Maybe she’s seen the results of leviathan blood on the human body. Maybe that’s her particular bugbear here, too. Because leviathan hunting is the literal lifeblood of the city, and the lightning walls do keep the ghosts out, and she understands the reasoning for it, but she hates it. All those rich families with their hunting fleets, spending the bodies of those beneath them without a care. She’d tear them down with her own hands if she could.

Background … Could have gone Trade, for doctor, but I think we’re going Underworld, because we’re going to put some emphasis on the back alley part of back alley doctor. She started out just helping fellow refugees, but sooner or later she got dragged into treating other patients that the law wouldn’t look kindly on. Sometimes willingly, sometimes less so.

For our action dots, she gets two Tinker and one Wreck from Leech. For her heritage dot, I think we’ll give her Skirmish. Skovlan only recently lost the war, after all. For background, Study, because you can’t be a doctor without it. For her free dots, I’m going to give her Consort, because back alley doctors have contacts, and Survey. I did consider another dot of Study, especially since her special ability lets her use it, and it’d make sense for a researcher doctor, but I thought that a paranoid underworld doctor in particular might also want a nose for trouble and an ability to tell when to get the hell out of dodge. So, total, she has two Tinker, and then one each of Wreck, Skirmish, Study, Consort, and Survey.

Our special ability is, of course, going to be Physicker. The primary reason for playing a Leech, this lets us use Tinker on people to help patch them up, and Study on corpses or diseases. Which. That one might be interesting.

Friends and rivals. Now. This is interesting. Friend, not so much, I think we’re just going to take Stazia, our friendly neighbourhood apothecary. A former scoundrel turned legit, so quite possibly an old patient from our underworld background. But the interesting part. The Rival. One of the options is Jul, a blood dealer. Now, the book doesn’t seem to clarify exactly what this means, but I would dearly love if it was leviathan blood they’re dealing. Since our girl is from Lockport. And she has fucking opinions on what that stuff does to the human body and what sorts of people put it there. She hates this person with a passion. Them, and everyone like them, all the way up to the Leviathan Hunters themselves.

Our vice, more mundanely, is going to be Obligation. She wants to help her people, both fellow Skovlanders, and also those affected by leviathan blood and other toxic substances. For purveyors, I know there are several Skovlander organisations in Doskvol. Not sure on the anti-toxin end.

Finally, Name, Alias, and Look. She’s a thin, drawn, harried-looking woman, unhealthily pale even by Skovlan and perpetual-night standards, with mousy brown hair and eyes so washed out they’re pretty much colourless. People often recognise her by the scrupulously clean pinafore she wears over her plain skirt-and-blouse while attending patients. Her name is Mara Brogan, and her alias …

Would ‘Nightingale’ be too on-the-nose? Heh. Probably. But I think we’ll go with it.

So. A back-alley physicker, a doctor turned refugee turned criminal, a Lockport survivor of the Unity War and the leviathan blood toxins both. Mara Brogan. A Skovlander Leech.