#she will be my wife one way or another its literally meant to be<3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[yamikawaii]

yoomtah marry me right now

[arolesbianism]

I should rly get around to designing the Jackies and Olivias from my swap aus now that I have ideas for how to differentiate them for their non swapped counterparts, but at the same time the eternal dread of having to commit to either keeping or changing the gravitas uniform for the swap aus hangs over me with ever increasing pressure, so maybe I can just only draw headshots of them and commit to that til the end of time instead

[astrojulia]

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DISCLAIMER. These general free readings are made in good faith for entertainment purpose. I may have missed a he/she instead of them in the translation.IF WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT SOULMATE YOU WANT TO READ SOMETHING ABOUT ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP, PLEASE READ THIS PAC

How to pick a pile

The pick a pile order is Pile 1 - Pile 2 - Pile 3. When you have different cards to choose from in pile 1,2,3… look at each of those cards. Wait until someone reminds you of a memory. Perhaps a character’s outfit resembles one of your own. It is this pile that has its message. What if they all remind me of something? Go for the one with the strongest memory, one might look like her earring but another might be the favorite candy you got from your grandma when you vacationed at her house. But what if none reminds me of something? Take a deep breath and wait a little longer, without charging yourself or creating worries. Relax, some will awaken some memory in you, I promise!

Pile 1 - My Melody

(Four of Pentacles - Ace of Swords - The Watery)

You've already met your soulmate, and it's that person to whom you've had a strong emotional attachment since the first day you met. (There's an additional message here for many in this context: a soulmate is not necessarily someone with whom you have a romantic/sexual relationship). This person is someone you want to protect and share your new ideas with, as well as talk about your achievements and victories. You may also have fights and arguments with them for seemingly 'no reason,' and as a result, you end up getting hurt a lot and sometimes feel resentful about continuing to communicate with this person. However, soon after, they come back to talk again (to be honest, it's reminiscent of a relationship between brothers). So, yes, you've already found your soulmate, and they are a person who is still in your life.

Pile 2 - Cinnamoroll

(Five of Swords - The Star - The Maze)

You don't know your soulmate, and without a spiritual connection, it will be difficult for you to meet them. Yes, it sounds tragic and hopeless, something you don't want to hear, but for you to meet your soulmate, you need to pray to your god, deity, higher self, or the universe, so that a higher power can help you connect with your soulmate. The path between the two of you is tangled up, as if you really weren't meant to meet. Remember that a soulmate is literally your other half; it is not necessarily the great love of your life. Sometimes, it can be someone like your neighbor. I say this because I know that you came after a love and romance reading, so don't worry, your soulmate is not synonymous with your future spouse. So, I repeat once again, if you want to meet your soulmate, even if they are not your future husband or wife, resort to prayers and spells to seek a hand of spirituality.

Pile 3 - Hello Kitty

(The Well - Nine of Cups - The Sleep)

Your soulmate is someone you are destined to meet, but it will take you a long time to find them. Until you meet, you will develop many qualities such as humility, kindness, and empathy. You will become a much better person and, most likely, much older than you are today when you finally encounter your soulmate. I might even go so far as to say that you will already have had your first white hair by that time (don't worry, I had my first white hair when I was 20). In short, there are still things you need to do before you can meet your soulmate. It's important to deepen your understanding of yourself, create meaningful connections with others, and nurture your spirituality. Strive to be the best version of yourself, not in the typical inspirational coach talk kind of way, but in a way that you know in your heart that you are being true to your values and aspirations. When you do meet your soulmate, you'll recognize that you are already being your best self.

(CC) AstroJulia Some Rights Reserved

[scourgefrontiers]

yall ready for a gender journey post..

so yall could probably guess i grew up a cis girl. i didnt start questioning my gender until high school after i broke up with my first boyfriend which kind of freed me up to explore my identity as my own person for the first time. around age like 16 was when i first started identifying as trans, and at the time that meant a binary trans guy

after a couple years of getting comfortable exploring my gender i decided hey maybe im actually not a binary trans guy but instead nonbinary. still transmasc and guy leaning but not quite all the way anymore. this became a trend for the next loooong while, getting closer to the androgynous part of the spectrum as time went on

then in recent years (maybe about 5 years ago ish) i started to lean more towards femininity. this is significant for me because growing up i was always opposed to it--i hated wearing dresses, i hated putting on makeup, anything "girly" appalled me and i didnt know why. i ended up thinking its because i WASNT a girl, and thats why i was so uncomfortable with everything to do with being a girl. i rejected it so hard because it just wasnt me.

after living with eden for a while i got even more comfortable exploring the feminine part of myself. i started wearing dresses and skirts and actually ENJOYED it; i started painting my nails and wearing earrings again; i even grew my hair out to my shoulderblades (yeah thats where its at now LOL). ive even started using she/her alongside they/them. and im actually enjoying these things??? it feels like after all these years im finally able to reclaim them because i feel like im finally able to be comfortable with my gender--how my gender feels to ME, not to everyone else.

that was the problem when i was growing up--i was trapped in everyone else's perception of my gender and what it "should" be. i was trapped into a box that was made by everyone else's idea of what i SHOULD look like, what i SHOULD wear, what i SHOULD act like, etc. and it took me until age 26 to fully realize that my gender is what i want it to be, not what everyone else wants.

i dont have to be a guy to want facial hair and a flat chest and a low voice. loving pink and dresses and cute things and makeup and jewelry doesnt inherently mean im a girl. pronouns, features, clothes, even names dont inherently mean youre one gender or another. your gender is defined by you and only you and nobody should be able to put you into a box and define your gender for you.

..having said all this, im starting to explore my gender further, and im slowly coming to the POSSIBLE conclusion that i might come back around to being cis (albeit gnc). nothing would really change about me except the label tbh. if i do end up coming to that conclusion i will be very bummed about leaving the trans community, but i wont feel any less attached to it, as ive spent literally half my life as part of it. i understand what its like to be trans and to love myself as my most authentic self, and thats why im considering this possiblity!

identifying as a lesbian kind of pushed me in this direction as well--i cant remember the last time i felt truly comfortable and happy with a label regarding my orientation.. like ya damn. maybe i am a girl who likes girls LOL. it just feels right and natural for me personally??? its crazy. i love women. if youre a woman i love you no matter the flavor. i love my wife more than all of you though sorry <3

but god please dont take this as me being like "oh trans people just need to get comfortable with their gender and theyll realize theyre cis" that is a bullshit take and i am not saying that. this is strictly my own experience and journey! i am 100% not speaking for every trans person and you shouldnt either.

but ya. dan cis era???? we'll see. no official statement just yet but i just wanted to let yall know where im at in my ~gender journey~. until i confirm anything please still view me as a nonbinary girlthing! <3

[cabeswaterdrowned]

I've never watched pretty little liars but tell me about your favourite pll femslash.

Hi I think I wrote half of a response to this a while ago but it got lost somewhere… starting over so I’m such a multi shipper between the pll women that I think it would be more appropriate to tell you my top 5 rn.

Vandermarin —- (Hanna Marin & Mona Vanderwaal)

I tried to choose pics from the pll wiki gallery for each of these dynamics I thought encapsulated the dynamic and its gayness as well as two random images can. In this case the image on the left is Mona lovingly visiting Hanna in the hospital after Mona herself drove a car over Hanna, because they fought/Mona is jealous that Hanna has affection for people who are not her and also Hanna was too close to uncovering her identity as A the nameless faceless entity that badly wants Hanna to break up with her boyfriend and leave her friends and only hang out with Mona but we’re meant to think Mona is straight…. and the right image is after Hanna has found out Mona’s identity at the evil mastermind to her troubles but she’s still visiting her ex wife in the mental asylum, and lying to her boyfriend about it and the show plays every beat of this like Hanna is cheating on her boyfriend. Insane. They’re the love story of pll because literally if Mona wasn’t obsessively unhealthily in love with Hanna the whole plot of the show would not have happened. An undersung toxic yuri queerbait for the history books I seriously think it’s deeply misogynistic they don’t get their due in this department. 

Spemily (Spencer Hastings & Emily Fields).

This is so funny to me because these two images perfectly encapsulate the dynamic. Either they are soo in sync getting coffee for each other and detecting murders together and stabilizing/calming each other, or they are having the Messiest fights and bickering/getting on each others nerves like a married couple going through their third divorce. I joke about them being adansey coded for this reason, also there’s a dynamic of a class difference and Emily/Adam call out Spencer/Gansey for it similarly and Spencer/Gansey being protective towards Emily/Adam in a way the latter doesn’t like or feels infringes on their autonomy. Great stuff, I have a type. And speaking of..

Monison (Mona Vanderwaal & Alison Dilaurentis)

There are other gay pictures of them interacting but I chose the left image as Mona cleaning the dirt off Alison, the girl who bullied her, after pulling her out of a grave (Alison was buried alive this night and it’s a whole thing but not really relevant to this post) and they’re in a motel in the lost woods. There’s another scene from this flashback that’s Mona kissing Alison’s forehead but I can’t find a cap anywhere (I also couldn’t find a cap of her kissing Hanna’s cheek the homophobia). The one on the right is Mona’s shrine to Alison that’s in her evil lair girl literally was so obsessed with and in love with girl who bullied her and wanted to wear her skin and also for her to stop existing and also to be loved by her and then she made the love of her life Hanna into her own personal Alison doll… wild stuff. They’re also a bit adansey coded imo (and Hanna/Alison didn’t make this list but they’re rather Jordanessy coded imo). They’re also really gay for each other on the spin off which is not a good show but did give me crumbs. 

Spona (Spencer Hastings & Mona Vanderwaal)

Sometimes / in the past this has been no.3 I’m just in a very Monison mood rn so it’s fourth rn. The left image is of their psychosexually charged debate scene and the right is Mona trying to get Spencer’s attention at a political rally. Will say no enough of their really gay scenes are appropriately represented in that wiki gallery but I did the best with what I had. Overachiever x Overachiever but one is an evil mirror of the other,  the actresses have a ridiculous amount of chemistry, there’s a whole arc where Mona wants to corrupt Spencer and is furious when Spencer “turns her down” and seeks to ruin her life so she has no choice to accept her… another toxic yuri of all time. They’re also my two favorite characters on the show individually (although I love all six of the main women) so that gives an extra something special to their scenes for me. 

Arison (Aria Montgomery & Alison Dilaurentis)

left image is a flashback to them eating frozen yogurt together while bullying Mona, right is Aria’s hallucination of Alison that she has when her father’s girlfriend who looks a bit like Alison and who Alison wanted Aria to tell her mother about Byron’s affair with poisons her, again sadly there were fewer images in the gallery for them but. This is a really fascinating relationship to me and one I wrote a fic about that Imran quite proud of when I first got into pll a couple years ago. Aria is the only one of Alison’s friends she treats kind of as an equal rather than a subject or a rival, she’s very fascinated by the way Aria lives freely rather than at the whims of other people and Alison develops an alter ego that looks a lot like Aria, Vivia Darkbloom. She also gets into a relationship with an older guy while acting a lot like Aria and then this same guy (who is a predator and groomer but the show never addresses these dynamics as such L) goes after Aria after Alison’s death. Also Alison secretly took pictures of Aria while she was sleeping and hid them places and when they were uncovered her brother makes a comment about how Alison always hid things and it was almost second nature to her don’t remember the exact quote but it reeks of internalized biphobia to me (Alison is canonically a bi character it’s just that the show defines her as only gay for one girl which is Emily and straight for everyone else which is insane but we won’t get into that). Anyway. They’re really underrated and interesting. 

some honorable mention ships that I also love a lot: Sparia (Spencer x Aria, if I had done this a few months ago do think they would have a shot at top 5 I really love them), Spanna (Spencer x Hanna), Hannily (Hanna x Emily), Spalison (Spencer x Alison), Monaria (Mona x Aria), Emison (Emily x Alison this one is canon), Emaya (Emily x Maya also canon), Emona (Emily x Mona), Halison (Hanna x Alison), Aria x Jenna, Emily x Jenna, Aria x Alex Drake.

[fan-tav-stic]

Patch 6 Shadowheart Kisses

I took a ton of screenshots of all the different kisses and ourgh. it was so worth the 5 hours of Cazador hell.

I've also edited together a rough compilation vid of all 4 kisses at the end!!!

Spoilers for Patch 6 obvs

---

The Original kiss

I love the original kiss but I'm so glad they gave us more because its sad that she's mostly blocked by the player. Let me see my wife damn it!!!

6/10

The Passionate kiss

They didn't have to go so hard with this one... Also the tiny little kiss tacked on at the end had my jaw dropped all the way to the floor. I would have been screaming if my mom wasn't home.

9/10

The "Please they're so in love..." Kiss

THE WAY SHE FUCKING LOOKS AT HIM. I'M IN TEARS. They're so in love. That's his fucking wife, they are meant for each other!!!!!!!

1000000/10

Finally, The Shoulder kiss

So SO sweet! Though she does move a little silly when she pops around behind him. Still, I love the little handhold at the beginning, It is literally my desktop wallpaper rn. Also, ANOTHER extra little kiss at the end makes me smile stupid big.

9/10

The video ^~^ <3

I scrapped this together in like an hour (WITH the accompanying Halsin version I'm about to post after this one) And good GOD am I in love with this. They make me so weepy... I'm genuinely going to cry when I finish Kairius' save huh?

[gaymergal]

:3 happy pride 🌈 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

I unintentionally came out to my older sister (again) by wearing a piece of clothing.

💚💜🤍 😂 she remains the best

(Story followed by small spiraling below the cut 😃👍🏾✨)

Forever ago when I was in high school, I was only out as gay at school with friends. And didn’t come out to family until later (Highschool for me was 2004-2008 Bush era. And though my family is and has been very liberal leaning, we were also raised catholic which definitely fueled my personal hesitation to come out at home. Spoilers alert when I told my mom it went hilariously well)

One day after school myself and a pair of friends were at the mall, and the three of us bought a three piece matching friendship necklace at Claire’s on clearance that said roughly Best (star charm), Friends(heart charm), Forever(rainbow charm)

(90% sure that was the breakdown important thing is my section of the necklace had a rainbow charm)

It was like the only rainbow thing I owned, and I would wear it sparingly cause wasn’t 100% out. I had left the necklace on at home and my sister immediately clocked it and pulled me aside and asked if I was gay.

It was a very brief side bar conversation, I was in the kitchen and she literally pulled me into another room and was like “u gay? Your wearing a rainbow necklace”

“Uh yeah”

“Ok cool”

I never did a big announcement to family. Starting with my sister (actually, one of my brothers might have been the first family to know followed then by my sister🤔)

I just told family in one on one conversations as it came up, and eventually even extended family just knew I was gay.

(When I told my mom, because of the way I nervously started the conversation, on the verge of tears saying “i have something important to tell you” she thought I was teen pregnant and when I said I was gay she was like that’s it? That’s fine!)

Anyway! In 2020 with the support of my wife I experimented with pronouns and found that in addition to she/her I really do vibe with he/him pronouns (🥰 I am both her wife and boyfriend and absolutely love being called either)

I really only use he/him privately online and at limited irl queer gatherings and haven’t explicitly told my family (There is a hesitation that family might not fully “get” use of he/him pronouns and for now I’d rather keep it away from them for the time being. At this point its less of a fear of rejection and more of a…I don’t know how that conversation is going to go, and that gives me anxiety to bring it up and start a conversation about it.)

We just had our local pride weekend and I was wearing a pair of black socks that had stripes of green purple white at the top of them 💚💜🤍 for genderqueer and did post a family picture of me my wife and our son at pride to FB (socks visible) not thinking anyone in my fam would clock it.

Got a text from my sister yesterday: “Random question. What are your pronouns?”

Which prompted a phone call (that went super well :3 🥰)

At first she thought they were non binary colors and googled to confirm, but saw that the colors didn’t match but “knew it meant something” and then asked my niece (gen z theater kiddo) what the those specific colors represented. (Lol like straight up queer pop quiz style “hey green white purple, what’s that flag? 🤣)

When the dreaded “what do you want me to use for you” came up (idk why so much anxious, it is very much use one or the other or a mix, i genuinely like and respond to both. the only strong feeling i have is please don’t directly ask me which to use, or why he/him in addition to she/her)

It was a very quick, “so i can still use she/her”

“Yep”

“You sure?”

“Yep”

“well if that changes, I’ll just keep an eye out for new colors”

“🥲💖” (which I found to be very sweet!)

On the one hand, part of me is like, ah history repeating itself, just tell family as it comes up.

But with Pride and (:3 my first!) Father’s day coming up I am tempted to make a FB post just to set the record straight on my pronouns but, (anxiety)

Its weird, like I don’t necessarily feel like I’m in the closet as much as I did with being gay in high school. I’m not afraid of someone finding out. I don’t think my pronouns are something that needs to be kept secret. If asked I am comfortable enough to respond to the question, but the thought of anoucing them publicly is just a big no-no. 🙃

😅 Anyway!

🥳 happy pride! ❤️🧡💛💚💜💙💖

💚🤍💜 treating myself to an early father’s day hair cut tomorrow ✌🏾 :3

[juncojuncojunco]

remembrances of earth's past initial concluding thoughts （xxxx)

very rough thoughts before I read/watch a bunch of other people's reactions/analyses, not anything analytical about plot/style/character/etc, just strings i found intriguing

very obviously this is a first contact story where humanity never meets its original pursuers. there is such a deep yearning and loss (for each other!) that pulls across the centuries of the narrative, even after both homeworlds are destroyed. the dance between earth and trisolaris is just so confoundingly complex--fear, admiration, concern, intimacy, distrust, mutually parental. the first thing that comes to mind is the chinese phrase 惺惺相惜 (星星!), to be concerned for, appreciate, and sympathize with another of equal caliber. from the first moment of contact-Ye Wenjie bruised enough from humanity's brutality towards her that she wants divine intervention-Trisolaris greeted Earth with a warning for them to quiet down in a universe on edge for the faintest snap of a branch. That just makes me so emotional man, even if Trisolaris as a whole decided to, as all civilization would, attack and take over the solar system.

Earthers getting to know/introducing people to Trisolaris through a video game. through a game where the aliens look like their historical heroes and figures. goddamn. Earth sending a brain to the enemy on a pipe dream that the brain will someday bring them intel, even knowing that the most likely thing to happen to the brain is that it will be studied and tortured and make their enemy understand them more deeply. trisolaris decoding the brain and its owner's biology and building him a body and a habitat below the engine of their generation ship. letting him have a chance at speaking with a woman and possibly releasing intel back to earth (which did happen! and they didn't even punish him when Cheng Xin arrived at the DX world with curvature propulsion technology). the soil and the logo-less life necessities trisolarans built for the potential human dwellers in the miniverse 647. Sophon existing as a sophon, as a robot, as a genocidal commander, as a... friend? for the last humans in the universe? my god.

are the characters realistic? no not really, but it doesn't really hinder the reading when it's so obvious they're just dust in the story of time and embody archetypes and a responsibility to history rather than to themselves. the best and worst of humanity portrayed in all 3 books were all about what I expected, it's just that the relationship between earth and trisolaris is just so so so so ...? trisolaris being a completely transparent race in book 1 who aren't even capable of lying, to trisolaris who even under the threat of a dark forest strike lies to Earth with the false technologies and research they send? That is a monster humans built with their own hands. some guy in the ETO said their lord was a naive child against the mind of a human. humans singlehandedly created a monstrous trisolaris who lies about the droplets left surveilling the earth, who lies and takes out the entire earth's space fleet in 10 minutes as soon as the swordholder changed hands. But earth also gave them art and music and stories, and if Yun Tianming meant it literally he also invented childhood for them? That is so so so so !

all the moments that I would read a whole epilogue/side story on:

Yun Tianming's fairytales, also his entire story after becoming just a brain. i'm doubtful if its really even him as we know it after revival--he was so so pessimistic about humanity and realized he meant nothing to Cheng Xin, his sunniness when they met again just doesn't check out. I just can't see how it's him. It makes more sense even for that body to be controlled by Trisolaris, who somehow has decided to communicate with humans through their likeness? The way they turned Sophon into a human robot?

What happened between Luo Ji and his wife/kid

Wang Miao who just disappeared after book one? wish Da Shi didn't abruptly drop after deterrence era too

more about what Blue Space and Gravity went through

AA and Yun Tianming in planet blue, waiting their whole lives together. all the things they would have told each other!!

a depiction of a 2 dimensional civilization would have been nuts

also, ending a story about a dark forest universe where its civs only care about their own survival, coming together (presumably) to abandon their private universe strongholds so the great universe could hold on and not expand infinitely into a dead world? ending a story where you risk death if you spoke a single word into the void of the dark, with an immense energy expenditure message to all the small universes, in millions of languages? god.

maybe there will be more organized reflection maybe this is just it! regardless, i'm thinking about this story forever !!!

[crystalelemental]

As a massive Johto fan, I remember the remakes being a huge deal to me. I didn't even know about them at the time, and found them at GameStop literally the day before going back to college one year. It's one of the few Pokemon games I legitimately remember the event of acquiring. So I admit, HGSS has a lot of nostalgia in it as well.

I played SoulSilver. The team was Feraligatr (Quirky), Jumpluff (Impish), Miltank (Careful), Hitmonchan (Adamant), and Lugia (Modest). Our rotating sixth was Golduck (caught at level 13 in Ilex Forest, bless that 1%) or Farfetch'd (caught on the way to the Safari Zone).

In light of that team composition, I'd like to make that the topic of this game. Specifically, how older Pokemon games before the EXP All structured teambuilding and progression.

See, my wife is playing Sword right now, which...may or may not take the place of me playing Gen 8. But she's doing a run where she's not picking up any Pokemon except what she wants to run in her team, which is currently a team of 4 at Opal. She's not having any particular problems, for a combination of reasons, but the point is this structure is unusual for Gen 8. When talking about it, her thoughts were that she always picks up a full team of 6, and then can't switch them out because she's been with them the whole game. It gets to a point where she's using the same early-game stuff every time, but she wanted to try new options she's never touched before, which necessitates not picking up everything she sees. I'll have a ton more to say about this when I talk about XY, but what she's doing now is...how you were, at one point, meant to play.

Your starter often carries you through the first gym no problem. Very rarely is this something you can't do. Even with Chikorita, you can evolve to Bayleaf and just stomp Falkner on stats. By Gym 2/rival fight 2, you're going to want another partner, just to help handle something your starter can't. Eventually you'll build out a third, maybe around Gym 3, then a fourth by Gym 5 or 6, and by the time you're ready to face the League, you've built up a team of 5 or 6 Pokemon to use.

This structure is felt perfectly in Johto, and it's the reason for so many criticisms regarding "bad level curve." Trying to catch too much too early does stymie your progress, as your levels fall off. In my case, I had three Pokemon all the way through Clair. I caught Lugia, and got my Tyrogue, only after clearing all of Johto. As a result, my main team was perfectly on level with Lugia at 45, and we walked into the League ready to throw down. A team with more Pokemon early on likely does not keep up with that curve, and the level difference can be intimidating. In GSC, badge boosting helps alleviate that. HGSS has no such fallback, so...what are you meant to do?

Johto thrives off its Legendary Pokemon. Lugia and Ho-oh arrive at 45, which is likely well above what your team has reached by this point, and is perfectly equipped to take on the League. By the time you go into League rematch and Red, you have access to the other at level 70. HGSS elevates this further, with options to get the Hoenn trio, the Kanto birds, and even Mewtwo, who is also level 70. Decked out with Legends, you can easily stomp what remains of the game. But, just like GSC's discussion, the question is how bad things are if you don't do that.

This is where the remakes seem to solve for the problem, but falter really painfully. On the one hand HGSS introduces gym rematches and a second round of the League, all with a gradual curve up in levels. However, the gym leaders are stupid. You have to get their phone numbers, with each leader having a different time of day and specific day of the week they're available for that, and then call them at a different (this time specified) time of day on a specific day of the week to schedule the match, meet them in Saffron's Dojo for the rematch, then wait to do it again. I have not done these rematches in years. I cannot be asked. Which means the League is a big jump now. But even if you shitstomp the League like I did, Red is still wildly above you. Lugia handled most of the League at level 63. The rest of my team hovered around 61. We are in no position at all to deal with Red on even terms, and my solutions presented are "Go catch Legends and bench the team you ran all game" or "Make a ton of runs of the League to slowly level up your party." Lugia walked in at 60 and left at 63, despite doing all the hard work. I hope that solidifies how long the grind is.

Red just remains so frustrating. The rest of the game has a beautiful level curve that is perfectly managed, but then Red just ruins it completely. And his team has like no actual technique to it, so if you meet the raw stat requirement he's really not hard to beat, he's just a time waster to catch up to. And they added permanent Hail so his three Blizzard Spam Pokemon can guaranteed hit you, because I guess they wanted to make him cool like Cynthia and able to beat the box legends you got? He didn't. Lugia can tank them just fine. I'm getting away from my point.

You may also notice I said "5 or 6," and used a team of only five. This harkens back to the days of the HM Mule, a Pokemon who lives completely to use a bunch of HMs so your main party doesn't have to waste moveslots on shitty moves like Rock Smash. Gen 4 in particular is obsessed with HMs. I kinda resent it, because HGSS in particular suffers due to the inclusion of Rock Climb, which is extremely demanding on what Pokemon can learn it, and is functionally garbage. Compared to GSC, which only "needed" Flash, this is a major adjustment that tends to strain teambuilding compositions, typically at the expense of your starter, who is...let's be honest, already having a bad time. The HM mule solves this by taking such burdens onto themselves.

It's a sort of utility Pokemon, similar in style to my Platinum Pachirisu, who offered nothing in combat against the League, but whose Pickup got us like 8+ extra Rare Candy. These kinds of odds and ends utilities could be really valuable, but often came at the cost of a direct frontline fighter, so there was some give and take on that front. HM Mules are at least a bit less demanding because their level is completely irrelevant, but you get my point.

I'm not going to mince words: having played both in succession within the last month, I prefer Crystal to HGSS. I don't dislike HGSS, but I do think that the changes it offers are largely to its detriment. Sometimes that's the frustration of like...Silver showing up to do the dumb "dress like Team Rocket" segment and having to force his dialogue into "I was lying earlier to try and track you thinking maybe Lance would come back." It doesn't work. But It's...mostly in the Red fight again.

Red's HGSS rematch has all the burden of shifting meta. By Gen 4, movepools are expansive, and his Pokemon have a ton of options to work with that they didn't before. Charizard has a Dragon-type move that's hard to resist, and its Air Slash is both stronger than Wing Attack, and scales off its higher Sp Atk. Venusaur has Sludge Bomb. Blastoise has Focus Blast and Flash Cannon. Most egregious of all, Snorlax has Crunch, in addition to Blizzard and Shadow Ball. This makes his fight much harder, in that you can't counterpick as easily as Gen 2's rendition, but consider what is lost:

In GSC, you go through the game with your team in a pretty normal level curve, only to encounter a dude with 30 levels on your main source of grinding. If your team can't hack it, most of his Pokemon have clear answers that will 100% counter them. Misdreavus, at base level, completely counters Snorlax. Any Rock-type you have is going to do really well against Charizard and Pikachu. Any Dark type hard walls Espeon, whose other moves hit like wet noodles. A bit of team adjustment, and you can pick up something that gets to completely trounce him. Did you know Larvitar at the Game Corner comes at level 40? Don't evolve until Crunch and Earthquake, and have fun beating half his team no sweat.

In HGSS...that's gone. Bringing Golem doesn't solve Charizard anymore, because Dragon Pulse will slam your bad Sp Def. Bringing Mismagius against Snorlax just gets you one-shot by Crunch, especially if you try something like Curse. Pikachu...okay, Pikachu probably still gets bopped by a Rhydon, but Iron Tail chunks you now. The change from Espeon to Lapras removes the Dark-type cheese, and that overlap with Blastoise can hurt. Both can be answered well enough with Starmie, Slowbro or Slowking (Tentacruel also resists all of Blastoise's stuff), but you see what I mean? GSC, you counterpick in broad strokes. Get a Rock type, any, and Charizard is handled. Now the key to countering Charizard is basically Tyranitar or bust. You used to be able to take any Dark type against Espeon, but now the only counter to Lapras is two evolutionary lines, one with a trade, and one with the hard to get Water Stone. It makes it harder to just counter with specific swaps, and as a result, you have to face the level check directly. Sure there's better grinding options, but it's still so much more work than it's worth if you don't have a team that's automatically good for his fight specifically. And it is so much harder to be good against him specifically.

This does, however, come down to my gamer sins of Completionism and Rushing the Ending. I do not want to get stuck on things right at the end. Especially not when it's been otherwise smooth. Having to spend some time battling the League a couple more times is not the outright worst thing, but I argue it does seriously break flow of an otherwise decently paced game.

In every other regard, HGSS is fine. Great, even. It's just that one fight that is endlessly frustrating, and at this point I should probably just make a point of beating everything except Red and save myself the headache.

[keistance]

im sorry but you need to see my bloody valentine again. here's the script from the episode:

DEAN Why does heaven care if Harry meets Sally?

CUPID Oh, mostly they don't. You know, certain bloodlines, certain destinies. Oh, like yours.

SAM What?

CUPID Yeah, the union of John and Mary Winchester--Very big deal upstairs, top priority arrangement. Mm.

DEAN Are you saying that you fixed-up our parents?

CUPID Well, not me, but... Yeah. Well, it wasn't easy, either. Ooh, they couldn't stand each other at first. But when we were done with them--Perfect couple.

DEAN Perfect?

CUPID Yeah.

DEAN They're dead!

CUPID I'm sorry, but... the orders were very clear. You and Sam needed to be born. Your parents were just, uh...meant to be. (sings) A match made in heaven- heaven!

"fixed-up" "they couldn't stand each other at first. but when we were done with them—perfect couple" thats. cupid is literally telling you their cupid magic made them fall in love. they hated each other. the enfasis is always on sam and dean needing to be born (because, as we know, they are chuck's protagonists). it didn't matter how it happened. chuck treated them as mediums for his story and so were meant to be, regardless of what they thought about it. what other interpretation is there? it's pretty straightforward. dean literally punches him right afterwards bc he's also understood that everything their parents had was fake, created by the magic of a cupid on heaven's orders. it doesn't endear him to heaven, but that's neither here nor there.

sure the cupid's not involved, but its made clear the story is well-known upstairs between cupid circles. how could it not? it's the love story that will end everything. the cupid tells the story like it's hot gossip and he's itching to telling somebody about it. he describes first when cupid's are involved, explaining also in a roundabout way how their magic works. if john and mary loved each other and didn't need magic to preserve their destinies, then what's the point of employing a cupid? you can't say it's standard for every important bloodline. if they hated each other at first, it means heaven gave them some time to get over with it naturally. would they have turn that hatred around and loved each other if given more time? i guess we'll never know, considering spnwin is in an alternative universe (in which rowena is looking for her son early so we already know people don't have to be like their spn counterparts)

of course that everything else showed they loved each other deeply tho had some rough patches. there's 3 narrators in this: john's stories (through the brothers), mary's stories, and what we get to see through time travel. time travel is always after the cupid so the love is fake. mary's too. john's too yeah but his have something the others don't and that is nostalgia born out of missing his wife for 20+ odd years and setting on a mad quest for revenge. even if the magic faded (tho there's nothing about that either way) his tales aren't going to be the most accurate. not to mention, mary herself tells us she pretended to be a lot of things we know john loved to reminisce about (according to diary most of them but they get summed up in the show as: the perfect mother, the perfect wife). so not only would they be artificially created feelings, their relationship would have another layer of fakeness.

as i doubt cupid's magic can rewrite your personality (and nothing in canon says it does), it's no wonder they had rough patches. if they hated each other before it, there's going to be habits or attitudes that they didn't like about the other that fake love won't be able to blur.

just because the show mentioned it the one time and doesn't address it again doesn't make it less real. i truly cannot see what other interpretation there is for that conversation and dean's punch thereafter.

i think jensen ackles forgot john and mary actually hates each other and their love was fake

[sapphicbump]

Nessa receiving a little surprise gift! 🎁 Commission for @notsafeforbak You can find 15+ more winter themed drawings like this on this weeks P★treon tier 3 post 💙 This was ordered together with a little accompanying story by my partner @RoseVirage :

‘Merry Christmas, -M.’

Those were the only few letters written on the mysterious gift box that Nessa had found on the doormat when she arrived at home.

After she opened the apartment entrance and put down her training bag, she turned around and fetched the box. It was lighter than it would seem, probably filled with something small, like paper or a light silk scarf.

“M…”, Nessa said out loud, while thinking about the possible addressor. Maybe Professor Magnolia? She meant to send Nessa her latest water type Pokemon studies. But as a Christmas present? There was no post stamp or anything, meaning that it must have been brought in person.

Absent-mindedly she shed off her shoes and went into the living room to sit on her carpet. It wasn’t Christmas yet, but oh well, the Prof wouldn’t care. Nessa opened the box.

At first she stared at its contents in confusion - then in shock, her cheeks turning red.

It wasn’t a study, but photographs. At least a dozen. Of her friend Melony. Though not just any photographs, and not in her usual state either. Every single one of them illustrated her with bare skin and a very, very pregnant body.

Nessa gasped, while her stomach turned into both full of butterflies and bricks. These pictures were… breathtaking. Literally, because she had trouble breathing properly. Melony looked absolutely gorgeous. In a way that she was actually meant to look like that naturally. As if this was her true form. Huge, round, filled to the brim with new life, while still being a tough gym leader, devoted wife and loving mother. She clearly felt beautiful, carrying that huge belly, too. But … how could she possibly have known that Nessa would be into her like this? She never had said anything in that regard, not even hinted at the fact that she was hugely into motherly women. Then again, Melody could read her like a book, apparently, as she has proven in the past.

Nessa nervously shifted her seating position, from one side to another, gulping. Her whole body was burning up with desire, making her miss that stupid, sexy woman. She might look like an innocent housewife, but she was playing Nessa like an instrument. She knew exactly what she was doing. And she, probably, most likely even, knew that Nessa couldn’t help but to think about these pictures for the whole night and many more to come, wishing that she’d one day meet Melony like that in person.

[chubbology]

Overindulged

prompt: feeder boyfriend quits his job and balloons as fat as his feedee/feeder girlfriend

He drove his sleek BMW up his driveway and into the middle garage just as dusk settled into night. He’d stayed overtime at work again, and to make it up to his girlfriend, three dozen fresh assorted donuts sat in the passenger seat.

Sure enough, immediately upon opening the back door with his stack of boxes, he heard her voice: “Late.”

“It’s the end of the month,” he said. “What do you expect? Brought you something though, so don’t be mad. Come in here.”

He set the boxes down on the granite island, then waited, sucking in a breath. His pupils dilated as his favorite person in the world waddled through the wide archway leading into the kitchen. After giving him a pout, she pulled the boxes toward her with arms that hung, at their heaviest, over half a foot with fat.

She was a beautiful, enormous woman. He had met her on a plane three years ago on a business trip to Paris. She’d pulled him into conversation like a warm whirlpool, and he’d listened in awe to her life story: miserable wife of a banker to a happily divorced entrepreneur, flying first class on her own dime.

With a smug, knowing smile, she talked about how she used to be skinny for her ex’s sake and now was free. He couldn’t help but let his gaze roam over her blatantly overweight body. Thighs pressing firm on either armrest of the wide seat, bust prominent and heavy, belly button deep and visible through her dress.

Bad news is, she’d concluded, I just settled a messy lawsuit that lost me my career and nearly bankrupted me. But she shrugged, as if such was life. I’m taking my last-hurrah vacation until I have no choice but to eat tiny, unsatisfying meals again.

He decided that couldn’t come to pass, so he spent as much time with her outside his business obligations as he could, taking her to meal after meal, falling in love as she ate to her heart’s content and shamelessly talked about how she’d rather fallen in love with gaining weight. It titillated and empowered her. By the end of their two week stay in Paris, she was twelve pounds bigger and he had invited her to live with him for a while as she looked for a new career path. She accepted.

Three years later, she’d found her calling without having to leave his luxurious, spacious home. Doing what she loved.

She was almost four hundred and fifty pounds now, last he was updated. She always wore leggings that clung to every lump and bulge of cellulite, and she liked to tease him by wearing crop tops, letting her massive belly and side rolls hang out and wobble as they pleased.

He watched with soft eyes as she stuffed herself with four jelly-filled doughnuts. Between bites she said, “These long hours at your soulless job are no good. My fans want to see more of you.” More eating. “The last time you fed me on camera was weeks ago!”

She gave him an imploring look as she ate a fifth doughnut. Boston creme. Her face, once conventionally pretty, now had a sexy overindulged look. She’d lost her jawline to additional chins and neck fat, and her round, fatty cheeks quivered as she chewed. Even before she finished the fifth doughnut, she picked up a sixth. “And don’t think they haven’t noticed that little tummy you have now.”

“What?” He looked down at himself, blushing at how his tie sat out a bit on slightly stretched white buttons.

Before he could say anything, she pushed a chocolate doughnut in his hand. “I know people willing to pay a pretty petty to see you chunk out.” She smirked. “Pop a couple of those buttons.”

He laughed dismissively, but as he ate the doughnut, he contemplated the press of his new chub against his shirt. His pants felt a little tight in the ass, too, now that he thought about it. What if? he thought.

Suddenly, he found himself admitting: “I’ve been thinking of quitting.”

Her eyebrows rose.

“I want to spend more time with you,” he explained. He hadn’t meant to talk about it now, but here he was. Out of nervousness, he pulled one of the boxes toward himself and picked another doughnut, this one caving in under its sprinkles. He took a heavenly bite. “I have plenty of money saved and invested to take care of both of us for a long time. I just don’t see why I…”

She waddled over to his side of the island and took his free hand. “You know I’d support you.” Then she pulled him closer, into a smiling kiss. “I’ll support you real good.”

*

Before his two week notice even ended, he was eight pounds heavier, and he relished how his coworkers’ eyes lingered on his burgeoning waistline. Soon, his tummy was pushing over his pants. His chest felt thicker. He felt his ass spread wider when he sat down. He ate desserts all the time, and his girlfriend lavished him with attention (food) at every opportunity when he was home, encouraging him to eat in amounts he’d never let himself eat before. She started filming - with his consent, as always - the development of his chubbing up. Her fans loved him even more than they already did, compliments coming in faster than he could read them.

One month into being an unemployed man, she stuffed him on camera until one of his shirt buttons popped off. The experience was more of a revelation for him than even becoming officially overweight; that night, after she went to sleep, he got out of bed, squeezed into an old pair of slacks that barely fit him, then gorged himself in the kitchen until he gasped at the relief of his ass seam tearing open, unable to accommodate his butt, which everyone online said was growing gorgeously fat. His heart fluttered just thinking about it, and he hoped his ass kept growing.

It did.

“I admit, I never thought you’d be this much of a pear,” his girlfriend told him, six months into his steady ballooning. They were admiring his progress in the large bathroom mirror. He may have looked small relative to his partner’s morbid obesity, but somehow, they were both more fascinated with his growth at the moment. She outlined his bottom heavy figure with her hands. Fat had indeed stored most eagerly in his ass, thighs, and hips. His belly drooped soft and wide.

“I love it,” she said. “Love everything about you.” But then something else came into her expression. “Except how you’ve stopped picking up after yourself.”

He swallowed, and said honestly, “Sorry. I know I’m getting lazier.”

“We’ll have to hire a maid.” She grinned wickedly. “Or do two pigs deserve to roll in their sty?”

*

A year into living on his passive income and her subscribers, the couple had not yet hired any cleaning services, and his country club house was...well. Not trashed, but messy and disorganized. She blamed the five pounds she’d lost over the past month on having to constantly throw his trash away. She punished him by making him stand while drinking a whole liter of full-sugar soda. Since he’d developed a strong distaste for any physical effort as he sunk deeper into obesity, he grumbled the whole time. When he finally fell back on the couch, she sat too. Together, they took up most of it. But while she looked perfectly composed, he was panting raggedly, slightly sweaty, a food stain on his pants.

“Look.” She reached out and held his chubby wrist. “I can tell that the fatter you get, the more your natural inclination is to be a pig.” She spoke with total matter-of-factness. As if the emergence of his inner pig was unsurprising and inevitable. “It’s not uncommon in men - that urge to oink and eat as a way of life. But we share this space. I help pay off this house. Please throw away your take out containers.”

Then she added, at his long-suffering sigh, “I’ll reward you.”

He met her gaze. “Tonight?”

“Tonight.”

*

This time, there were no cameras. There was just her, sitting on one side of their king bed and him on the other, breathing heavy, taking her reward one bite at a time.

Everywhere in their bed were containers and packages and napkins and soda bottles. He had eaten mexican and noodles and burgers and fries. He’d eaten candy bars and sundaes and milkshakes and chunky cookies. He was so full he could feel the skin of his belly stretching. He could practically feel the skin of his thighs stretching, as if they were filling up heavier with fat right then, as he was determinedly overfed. He swallowed another bite of greasy cheeseburger.

“Keep going. I can tell you're slowing down, but I’ll have none of that yet. I want to see progress from you.”

“I don’t know…”

“Do you want to feel the ecstasy of squeezing through a doorframe or are you going to plateau at being just fat?”

He let out a breathy moan as he ate another bite of the cheeseburger. His girlfriend knew him too well. She knew he liked the new challenges being big was causing him. She knew it turned him on that he sat so much fatter in his own car, belly pressing against everything, ass barely fitting at all. She knew his hands had begun cupping his hips as a half-unconscious habit, admiring his own width.

He liked how his thighs had to push past each other, jiggling every time. He even liked when he accidentally bumped into things, because it was a hot reminder that he wasn’t the same. He was like her now. He was fat. He was a pig. He wanted to eat and get so big he could barely even waddle. He wanted to squeeze through doorways. He wanted to get stuck.

“I want everything,” he said. And she smiled, temporarily pleased.

*

Thank you to the reader who commissioned this work!

I'd love to write more. Check me out <3 etsy.com/shop/Chubbology

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

Gabriel Agreste: Interesting Villain, Horrible Character (400 Follower Special)

I'm honestly surprised more people didn't want me to talk about Gabriel, especially with how often I rag on how horrible of a person he is. But, three character analysis posts later, and we're going to talk about why the main villain of Miraculous Ladybug is a real letdown.

Gabriel Needs to give the Whining a Rest

The interesting thing is one of the few things I actually liked in Season 3 was Hawkmoth. His plans actually made sense (for the most part), and by playing the long game, he managed to turn Chloe against Ladybug and deprived her of several key allies. Granted, Season 4 immediately undid the latter, but I was still impressed by his strategy.

Generally, one of the better aspects of Gabriel as a character was just how over the top he was as Hawkmoth. Keith Silverstein is clearly giving it his all with his performance, and he is just so enjoyable to watch as a cartoonish supervillain.

And therein lies the first major problem with Gabriel as a character. While he is fun to watch as a simple supervillain, the show tries to give him more depth and unintentionally makes him worse.

In Season 2, when it was revealed that Gabriel was Hawkmoth, many fans speculated on what he needed the Miraculous for, until the Queen Bee Trilogy showed it was to save his possibly dead wife, Emilie. The idea of that is so the show can give more depth to its main villain, and I think it's an interesting idea in concept. After all, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

The problem is just how radically different Gabriel is normally compared to how he is as Hawkmoth. He always goes on about how he's “doing this for Emilie”, but it's hard to really sympathize with him when you consider he constantly gives evil monologues and evil laughs, really getting into the supervillain role. And let's not forget all of the “I'm going to wear Ladybug's skin as a suit” faces he loves to make.

Clearly this man is the picture of mental stability.

Gabriel's motivation for being Hawkmoth when compared to what he actually does as Hawkmoth is shady enough, but the thing is that the writers clearly want the audience to at least feel a little bad for him. They want to make the audience sympathize with him despite the way he acts with or without the mask. Without Miraculous Ladybug, he is routinely putting innocent lives in danger and never once shows regret for his actions. All he talks about is how “he's doing this for Emilie”, or that “he'll get their Miraculous soon”. There's no real reason to feel bad for him other than “because the script says so”.

Let's compare Gabriel to Malcolm Merlyn from Arrow. His big plan in the first season of the show is to create a machine that will cause an earthquake to destroy a crime-infested portion of Starling City, claiming to be trying to help everyone, but it's clear he is only doing it out of revenge for his wife getting killed by a criminal from that part of the city. In addition, throughout that season and future seasons, he always makes sure his plans lead to him benefiting in some way, showing he isn't just some noble man trying to achieve his goals with a less than noble method.

If we got some moments that showed that what Gabriel was doing was selfish, it would make him a more complex villain. But we don't get anything like that. What do we get instead? Well...

I Could Really Care Less About Emilie Agreste

We have known Gabriel's motivation has been to save his wife for a little over two years at this point, but at the same time, it's hard to believe that motivation because of how underdeveloped Emilie is as a character.

There have been a total of two lines in the entirety of the show that explain what happened to Emilie, and they're both vague as hell. One of them was from “Feast” that implied Emilie used the broken Peacock Miraculous.

Adrien: My mom used to have dizzy spells… just like Nathalie.

And the other that outright tells the audience what's happening to her in a clip show that most people will skip.

Nathalie: As I've watched Emilie falling deeper into an endless sleep, my sadness for her has deepened, too

That is literally all we get for an explanation, and nothing else. We have no idea of what she's like as a person or what her relationship with her family was like other than Gabriel and Adrien saying they miss her. Other than the way the narrative says she's important to Gabriel and Adrien, we don't really have a reason to care about her as a character. There have also been some lines that imply she went along with Gabriel's questionable parenting techniques, like how he was apparently only homeschooled as a kid (Origins) and never had a birthday party growing up (The Bubbler), so how do we even know if she's a good person? In fact, why not set up this question as a mystery to make the audience wonder if Gabriel has another reason to bring Emilie back?

It ultimately turns Emilie into a plot device and not a character that Gabriel and Adrien only bring up to make the audience feel bad for them, and meant to justify Gabriel's actions by saying that he's “doing this for his family”.

But hey, if he's doing this all for his family, surely Gabriel's redeeming traits come from his relationship with Adrien, right? Right?

As a Parent, Gabriel is Far From the Best

I've talked about this briefly before, but parenting in Miraculous Ladybug is written in such a black and white way, even by the standards of this show. Parents are portrayed in one of two ways. They're either amazing people who love and support their children unconditionally, or they're awful people who treat their own children like trash. And much like a lot of things in this show, there are times where the latter is treated like the former.

There are so many times where the narrative insists on making you see Gabriel as a troubled, but wellmeaning person who tries his best to be a good parent to Adrien, but it is far from the truth.

I'm not going to beat around the bush. Gabriel is a terrible parent. Like, he is awful at being a parent in so many ways, even before you find out he's Hawkmoth. In his first appearance, “The Bubbler”, he delegates getting Adrien a birthday present to Nathalie, his assistant. He literally can't be bothered to take time out of his schedule to get his own son a present for his birthday. And as the show goes on, he becomes more controlling and forbids Adrien from going out with his friends in other episodes (Captain Hardrock, Silencer). While this could be used to show Gabriel getting worse, it's never acknowledged in-universe, with Adrien continually defending his father essentially keeping him on house arrest.

“But IOTA!” You might say. “Gabriel has made efforts to bond with his son in some episodes.” While that might be true, most of those come right after his Akumas have almost gotten Adrien killed. He only hugged Adrien and made an attempt to learn more about him after Simon Says invaded their home, he only decided to watch that movie Emilie was in with Adrien after Gorizilla nearly dropped him off a building, and he only hugged Adrien again in public after he was turned into a gold statue by Style Queen.

In fact, let's talk about how Gabriel acts in the Queen Bee Trilogy. He actually decides to quit being Hawkmoth, but it's not because he realizes all the damage he's caused. Instead, he gave up because his “magnum opus”, a stronger than usual Akuma that only got the advantage on Ladybug ironically because of dumb luck, failed. Sure, he says he can't keep putting his son in danger, but he rarely ever acknowledges that he does so in the first place. When Riposte wanted to fight Adrien, Hawkmoth did nothing to stop her other than giving her a stern warning earlier on and nothing else. Where was this attitude earlier?

Hell, even then, he immediately goes back to being Hawkmoth as soon as he sees an opportunity, not even a day after his “mAgNuM oPuS” blew up in his face (because I guess Scarletmoth was just Plan B). If he made such a big deal about caring for his son, why didn't he try harder to spend time with him? Has he ever had doubts about what he's doing before? If Chloe didn't show up as Queen Bee, was he going to follow through on his promise and try to be a better father to Adrien instead of trying to get Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous?

And yeah, the whole irony is that Gabriel is doing this for his family when he is unknowingly fighting his own son, which could lead to some interesting drama if done right. The idea of how Gabriel would react to his son being Cat Noir could really lead to some internal struggles for him to go through. But then we got “Cat Blanc”, which shows just how terrible of a character Gabriel is.

In an alternate timeline where he found out his son was Cat Noir, what does Gabriel do? Does he try to steal Adrien's Miraculous while he's sleeping? Does he reconsider his actions or realize he was endangering Adrien's life?

NOPE! He just decides to akumatize him all while emotionally tormenting him, before causing the end of the world.

This is honestly one of the most appalling things I've ever seen in any TV show, because it's basically an abusive father ordering his son to listen to him all while referencing his (kind of) dead mother to back up his point. And rather than use this to show how despicable Gabriel is, the episode decides to blame Marinette for this happening. Yes, according to the show, her present to Adrien caused several events to happen which caused Cat Blanc, but this logic makes no sense. It's like blaming the JFK assassination on the man who sold a gun to Lee Harvey Oswald, instead of, you know, Lee Harvey Oswald.

Not only was this episode yet another excuse to blame Marinette for something that wasn't her fault, it leads into the biggest problem I have with Gabriel as a character.

Sympathize with Gabriel? Surely, You Jest

After everything I've gone over regarding Gabriel as a character, after all the awful things I've talked about, are you really surprised that I don't feel bad for him at all?

Gabriel is just an awful character and a despicable human being, but the show just keeps wanting me to feel bad for him. It's just so hard to when you consider everything he's done has made him anything but sympathetic. I'm just saying, it's kind of hard to feel bad for someone who tries to start World War III with the only justification being “i'M dOiNg It FoR mY fAmIlY”, especially when he treats his family like crap.

The writers go out of their way to show how horrible Gabriel is as Hawkmoth/Shadowmoth, but they think because they throw in a few moments where he looks conflicted, we'll immediately feel bad for him. What makes so many people interested in seeing Chloe become a better person is that they can tell she's the victim of a troubled upbringing, and know that because she's only a teenager, she still has room to grow as a person, represented by having more honest moments of vulnerability. Gabriel is a grown man who once caused the apocalypse because of how terrible of a parent he is, and has even fewer sympathetic moments than Chloe does. Which one of these two is supposedly irredeemable? The answer may surprise you.

But the frustrating thing is that this kind of villain could have worked. Instead of making him this mustache-twirling psychopath, show how much Gabriel regrets what he has to do, but keeps pushing onward despite all the lives he's risking if it means that he can save his wife. Instead of making Gabriel like Lex Luthor, make him like Mr. Freeze, who is basic a better written version of him.

But as it stands, there's a good reason why Gabriel gets little to no respect as a character in the Miraculous Ladybug fandom, as a villain, or as a father.

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?

I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.

TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface

Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.

And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie

What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?

Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”

So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?

The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it

ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN

Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ

The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel

Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-

Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.

Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died

I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?

Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional

Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?

“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?

Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)

20 minutes in and I wanted to give up

So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??

The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?

AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR

“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you

So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar

I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes

“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED

“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT

The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired

“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY

STOP THE FACES IM-

^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^

So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-

It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all

Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?

For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again

Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?

Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?

So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one

WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME

The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain

Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY

I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought

“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do

Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!

“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?

“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf

Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park

“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t

So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦‍♀️

“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT

EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT

“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT

The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film

This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.

Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)

This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot

WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-

I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...

I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.

LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there

The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not

I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.

Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess

So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up

YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH

The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-

I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious

“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT

“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU

“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-

ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU

There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful

Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.

Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?

And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???

She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there

So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???

Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!

She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender

The less said about the musical number here the better

Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!

ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING

Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number

The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.

Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨

I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything

“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?

There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES

Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???

Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number

Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.

Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.

The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?

Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”

Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES

“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY

“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT

Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever

This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*

Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end

I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level

She got a service dog puppy which... okay?

Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!

I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing

AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻

Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.

We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.

As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.

[spine-buster]

c a t c h i n g  t h e  l i g h t  |  elias pettersson

Summary: Eleven years into the future, Elias and Svea embark on their next adventure.  They have tackled everything together in life thus far with the other by their side.  Now, it’s time to add someone new.

Word Count: ~13k

A/N: I hope you all enjoy reading this epilogue to Elias and Svea’s story.  This style of small snippet scenes was so fun to write and I hope you like it.  This sort of acts as an update on Brock and Grace’s story 11 years into the future as well!  Regardless, I love these two so much.

CW: difficult birth

                                                             11 years later.                                                                        ___

“I’m ready,” Svea said one night when she and Elias were in the car alone, driving home from the Parkinson’s Foundation of British Columbia Gala that they’d been to every year for almost fifteen years now, hosted by Grace.  They were holding hands across the centre console.  

Elias knew he had to keep his eyes on the road since it was dark outside, but he made sure to look over at his wife.  It was so out of the blue that he knew exactly what she meant.  “You’re ready?” he asked, wanting to make sure he heard correctly.

She squeezed his hand gently as she nodded.  “I’m ready.”

>< >< >< >< ><

“So you guys are trying?” Grace asked as she sipped on her iced coffee in the quaint coffee shop in Yaletown.  She rocked Dukey in his stroller, now almost 18 months old and in his prime chubby glory, though he was already fast asleep and had been since the car ride in.  The kid could sleep, that was for sure.  It was a nice reprieve from all the sleepless nights he cost Grace and Brock at the beginning.

“Officially.  Yes,” Svea nodded her head.  She was already on special prenatal vitamins.  Already off her birth control.  Already monitoring her ovulation cycle.  Already had a checkup with her doctor to make sure everything was in order.  Already having sex with Elias nearly every moment of the day she could fit it in.  Not that either of them complained about that point.  Almost twelve years later of marriage and they were still insatiable for each other.  Elias still joked they had to make up for lost time.  “I’m not a fertile youngin’ like you were but I’m hoping it happens just as fast,” she commented.

Grace nodded her head.  “I’m just a baby-making machine at this point, so ask me any question you want.  You know nothing is off limits with me, or us.”

***

“Fill me up, Elias.  Fill me up with your cum.”

Elias groaned at Svea’s words.  He grabbed her hair and pulled her towards him so her back was flush against his chest, pounding into her at a different angle now as he felt close to his release too.  He licked and bit at the skin of her neck before dragging his lips up to her ear.  “You want my cum, pretty girl?”

“My pussy needs your hot cum, Elias.  Please.  Please.  Fuck me deep.  Fuck a baby into me.”

He snaked an arm around to her hot core and began rubbing at her clit, and after a few frenzied gasps and moans, Svea felt him explode inside of her, filling her up like she so craved and making her feel the greatest pleasure she had ever known.  Her orgasm coursed throughout her whole body and made her knees weak – literally – as they slipped further and further apart.  She would have almost fell back down face first onto the mattress if it wasn’t for Elias holding her up and letting her fall back onto his body instead.  As they lay on their bed catching their breaths, his cock was still inside her as it softened.  “Happy birthday, Elias,” she mumbled as she kissed him.  This was only round two, and they were planning to go all night.

***

“Are you serious?  You just went to the washroom like fifteen minutes ago,” Brock pestered Svea playfully as she stuck her tongue out at him, quickly walking into the washroom at the mall.

Elias was looking down at his phone.  Pregnancy symptoms, he’d googled.

Increased urination. You might find yourself urinating more often than usual. The amount of blood in your body increases during pregnancy, causing your kidneys to process extra fluid that ends up in your bladder.

***

“Svea, you love isterband!  You can’t get enough of it!” Elias protested.

“Did we get a bad batch?  It smells heinous.”

“It smells delicious!” he protested.  What she was saying was unbelievable to him.  Usually, she had to be told to stop eating the delicious Swedish style sausage, especially when they were back in Ånge or Sundsvall having it, and especially when it was a homemade variety.  But now she was making gagging noises.  

“I’m gonna go to our room until it’s done,” she said as she got up from her seat at the dining table.  Immediately, Stella got up and followed her.  “Call me when it’s ready.  Hopefully it will smell less heinous by then.”

Elias watched her and Stella walk away.  He took out his phone again and opened up the internet, still on the same tab from more than a week ago at the mall with Brock and Grace.

Food aversions. When you're pregnant, you might become more sensitive to certain odors and your sense of taste might change. Like most other symptoms of pregnancy, these food preferences can be chalked up to hormonal changes.

“Sveeeeeaaaaa!” he called out.

***

Svea was holding Elias.

She let him cry.  It was important to let him cry.  

His face was nestled onto her stomach, and had been there for at least fifteen minutes.  His arms were wrapped around her.  Every so often, she’d feel him move to kiss her bare skin, and she’d be able to feel the wetness from his tear-stained cheeks.  

“I’m so happy,” he mumbled.  He’d been saying that since they got home from the doctor’s office, but there was something about this time, right now, that made Svea’s heart swell a thousand times its size.  His tone, the softness, the tears, the position – everything was working in a way that made her so emotional.  “I’m so, so happy,” he repeated.

“Me too,” she whispered, running her fingers through his hair slightly.

“I’m going to be a dad,” he said.  He looked her in the eye.  “I’m going to be a dad and you’re going to be a mom.”

She nodded slowly.  

***

“So all the fucking worked, then,” Grace winked from the sink.

“You’re so crass,” Svea giggled as Dukey screamed at her for more food.  He already had a grape in each chubby hand and was eyeing the scrambled eggs on Svea’s spoon like it was a filet mignon.  She brought it towards him and he opened his mouth easily to eat it.  “But yes, it all worked.”

“I mean, you guys fuck all the time so I wouldn’t be surprised.  You guys still fuck like you’re in your twenties.”

“You’re really comfortable saying the f-word in front of your 18 month old.”

“He doesn’t understand words yet,” Grace dismissed her quickly, causing Svea to snort.

“And who are you to call me out?  Clearly you and Brock still fuck like you’re in your twenties too,” Svea whispered the word fuck, referring to Grace and Brock’s giant brood.  

“Are you guys going to find out what you’re having?” Grace asked.

Svea shook her head.  “We both want it to be a surprise.”

“It’s more fun that way,” Grace agreed.  “I’m betting on a boy.”

***

“Can you see it?” Svea asked as she looked at herself in the mirror, her body in a fitted dress.  She switched to a side profile to see if she could see her bump better.  It was small, and barely noticeable, but it was there.

“I can,” Elias nodded, coming up behind her.

“Do you think other people will see it?” she asked.  “I want to show it off.”

Elias smiled.  “Show it off?” he asked.  

Svea nodded.  “Grace said she think I’m going to be all belly – you know, like one of those women who just grows out instead of, like, around.  I waited so long to have one.  Now that I do, I want everyone to know.”

Elias’s smile overtook his face.  

***

“Look at you!” Grace winked as Svea approached her, her bump styled in a tight dress that showed off the small but noticeable curve forming.  “Work it, Svea!”  Svea danced a little bit, boogieing from side to side as Grace began to do the same.  Elias and Brock rolled their eyes at each other but smiled, too, their wives completely ignoring them at this point.  “I was right, too!  You’re all bump!” Grace exclaimed.

“For now,” Svea smiled.  “I feel wider.”

“You don’t look it, but it doesn’t matter.  Get as wide and as big as you want, woman.  You’re pregnant with a baby.”

“And ask Petey to go and get you cans of tuna in olive oil at 2:30 in the morning,” Brock quipped.  Grace shot him a look.  “Five times,” he added for dramatic effect.

***

“You want some, Elias?” Svea asked as she stuffed a spoonful of strawberry flavoured frozen yogurt into her mouth.

“I’m okay,” he shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips.  “You have what you want.”

“You sure?”

Elias nodded.  He looked over at the clock – 3:00 in the morning.  He had a practice tomorrow and she had work.  But she had to have some strawberry frozen yogurt.  She just had to.  She needed it.  Which is why Elias put on his winter jacket and a pair of shoes – but kept his pajama pants on – at 2:30 in the morning and made his way to their local 24-hour supermarket, buying her favourite frozen yogurt so she could eat it.  It was all worth it, now that she was digging into it – sitting cross-legged on the bed, belly showing through her pajama shirt, eyes rolling to the back of her head every time she ate a spoonful.  Now he realized what Brock meant.  “It’s okay, pretty girl.”

“Just one spoon,” she said, already scooping it.  She held it out to him and he smiled before he ate the spoonful.  “Is it good?” she asked.

He nodded.  “It’s better at three in the morning.”

She couldn’t help but giggle.  She had the best husband.  She wasn’t sure if others would have gone and gotten her frozen yogurt in the middle of the night.  “I love you, Elias.”

“I love you too.  Now give me another spoonful.”

***

“I love your cock so much Elias, fuck,” Svea sighed out.

He was much gentler these days.  They both were.  The doctor said it was completely safe and healthy but Elias was still…cautious.  But when Svea woke up that morning placing small kisses on his shoulder, and then reached over and slipped her hand down his pajama pants, he couldn’t help himself.  So he flipped around to face her, and they kissed, and kissed, and kissed, and he teased her already wet pussy with his fingers, and he hooked her leg over his torso and slipped into her easily, the both of them sighing, the both of them savouring the intimacy.

“Does it feel good?” he asked.  She nodded quietly.  “Does it feel different?”

“A little bit,” she nodded again, biting her bottom lip.  “But a good different.”

Elias thrust harder.  Svea let out a gasp.  “I could bury my cock in your pussy all day,” he huffed out.

That made Svea smirk.  “I’d let you.”

***

“You have to be patient.”

“I can’t be patient.”

“Well, you have to be.”

“You’ve been feeling them for a week now!  I haven’t!”

“Just.  Be.  Patient.”

“But Svea—”

“Elias—”

They both stopped the second they felt it.  It happened right where Elias’s hand rested on her growing belly.  He almost couldn’t believe it happened at first, because to him, the feeling was so new.  But when he realized what had just happened, and the magnitude of it, he looked up at Svea.  She was already smiling.  “Did you feel that?” he asked.

She nodded.  “Poke where they just kicked.  Trust me.”

Elias did as he was told.  He poked.  And poked again.  Then he placed his hand on the spot.

He felt another kick.

Svea could hear a sharp intake of breath.  When she looked at him next, he was already looking at her with tears welled in his eyes.  “Svea…” he managed to get out, his voice cracking.

“I know, Elias.  I know.”

A tear fell down his face.

***

“Svea, can I touch your belly?” Violet Boeser looked up at Svea, swaying her dress from side to side.

“Me too!” Rose Boeser joined in.

“Me three!” Lily Boeser pushed her sister to the side.  

“Me four!” Poppy Boeser squeezed her way in.  “Svea can I feel the baby?”

“Be gentle!” Grace called out from the picnic table.  In the distance, Brock and Elias were barbecuing the hamburgers and hot dogs.  Coolie, Milo, and Stella were all sunbathing near the barbecue.  “Svea isn’t a science experiment!”

Svea snorted.  “Yes girls, you can all feel the baby,” she smiled.  Immediately, each of the girls’ hands covered her bump.  Rose even put her head against her bump briefly.  “The baby isn’t kicking right now but they might soon now that they feel all your hands,” Svea said.

“Are you having a boy or a girl?” Violet asked.

“I don’t know yet, Violet!  It’s going to be a surprise.”

“Baaaaaaaa!” Dukey Boeser yelled from the picnic table.  Once Grace set him down, he ran over to Svea as well, not wanting to feel left out now that his four older sisters were doing something he wasn’t.  He put his tiny hands on top of Poppy’s and looked up at Svea.  “Baaaaaa!  Ba ba baby!”

“Yes!  There’s a baby!” Svea grinned.

“And I’m gonna babysit!” Violet said.

“Me too!” Rose followed.

“Me three!” Lily joined.

“Me four!” Poppy finished it out, like she always did.

***

“Your placenta is a bit low, but it’s nothing to worry about,” the doctor said as she looked at Svea.  “Have you been feeling any changes lately?”

“A lot more fatigue, to be honest,” Svea confessed.  “I push through it because I’m still working, but when I get home I, like, barely move.”

The doctor nodded his head.  “That’s normal.  Fatigue in the second trimester is common.  We’ll continue to monitor symptoms and monitor your placenta but it shouldn’t be a problem.  But if symptoms get any worse, we’ll put you on bedrest.”

“Bedrest?”

“Bedrest.  For your health.  And the health of the baby.”

***

“Should we start thinking about names?” Svea asked as she lay on the couch, her head in Elias’s lap as he ran his fingers through her hair.  Stella was sleeping in between her legs, letting out soft snores.  “Do we want super-Swedish or super…something else?”

“This is going to be the hardest part, I think,” Elias commented before offering any suggestions.  “I think something that translates well into both languages is best, don’t you think?”

Svea nodded her head.  Whereas Fanny and Emil chose pretty traditional Swedish sounding names for their three boys, she knew they’d have to go the “translatable” route because of their Canadian/Swedish lifestyle.  “Do you like Linnea?” she asked.

“I do, but I think it’s too popular in Sweden.  I want something nice but something that stands out.  There will be five other Linnea’s in her class,” Elias mused.

“So that’s Milo down the drain too, then…” Svea giggled slightly.  “What about Freya?”

“Too…mythological.”

“Ivar?”

“No.”

“What about Astrid?  I was going to be named Astrid, you know.”

Elias nodded.  “I like Astrid.  Astrid is good.  Do you like Oskar?”

Svea nodded.  “What about Erland, like your grandpa?”

“That’s a good middle name.”

***

Babysitting Violet, Rose, Lily, Poppy, and Dukey was good practice for Elias and Svea.  They’d been doing it, really, since Violet was born, and then when Rose was added, and Lily was added, and Poppy was added, and Dukey was added…well, it all just became routine.  The girls were great, and they put frilly headbands on Elias and did his makeup more times than they could count now.  His favourite look was the blue and green eyeshadow they’d created, stolen from mommy’s collection in her room.  The Canucks colours, obviously.  He’d even posted the finished product on Instagram.

The girls also never had any trouble with bedtime, even when they were much smaller.  But nowadays, Dukey did.  Entering his “terrible twos” was proving to be quite the interesting time.  But with the girls already in bed, it was easy for Elias and Svea to deal with him separately.  

After tiring him out, Elias tried rocking him to get him to fall asleep, but he was still fussy.  He kept reaching out to Svea.  So Elias transferred him over, and Svea held him in her arms.  “Whatsa matter?” she asked him in a sweet voice.  “Does Dukey want to fall asleep?”

He fussed around for a bit more before settling down, laying his head on Svea’s shoulder.  He was looking down, his face in a pout.  “Baby,” he said, pointing lazily down to her bump.  “Baby.”

“Yes, there’s a baby,” Svea cooed, rubbing his back.  His eyes almost immediately began to droop.  “But Dukey is a big boy now.”

“Yaaaaa.  Dukey big boy.”

Elias watched as she continued to rub his back and coo sweet words to him as Dukey fell asleep in her arms.  His hands were almost shaking, thinking about how in a few short months, they’d be doing the same thing for their own child.  

***

Midsommar.  Svea’s favourite time of year.

And now time for an impromptu baby shower.  

Elias’s family tradition of renting a big tent on the lake was still going strong, and now, with so many new cousins and family members, the party was bigger and better than ever.  Svea’s family and Elias’s family decided to incorporate a small celebration for the impending baby.

With her flower crown adorned on her head and some special gifts already opened, Elias sat down beside his wife and held her hand underneath the table.  “Remember when we were young?  What you did to me on the banks of the lake?”

She side eyed him.  “Don’t even think about it.”

***

“Give me your hands, Svea, fuck,” Elias moaned as he watched her rock back and forth on top of him.  She did as she was told, grabbing his hands to brace against so she could keep doing what she was doing.  As she rocked herself back and forth, getting closer and closer to her climax, she tightened her grip on his hands.  “Does it feel good, pretty girl?”

Svea nodded.  “D’you still like what you see?”

“Always Svea.  Always.”

***

Grace had gone all out.  She was the perfect person to host Svea’s Vancouver baby shower when she returned from Sweden almost double the size from when she left.  She’d invited the Canucks wives and girlfriends to her house.  She’d had her sunroom and backyard decorated in the most adorable Peter Rabbit themed décor.  Stella was dressed up with rabbit ears.  She’d even thought of the cutest, most perfect party favours – mini champagne bottles with “She’s About to Pop!” adorned on it.  And not the cheap champagne bottles, either.  This was Grace.

Too bad Svea couldn’t have any.

Svea usually didn’t like being the centre of attention, but she was having the best time being the centre of attention at her baby shower.  She opened her gifts, she played the games, she laughed her head off at the game where the girls had to measure her girth.  

After pictures with the guests, Svea sat down in her chair.  “This was the cutest baby shower,” Holly Horvat commented to her, nibbling on the last bit of her cupcake.  “But you know what?”

“What?”

“Remember that movie Bridesmaids?  Remember how they had puppies as the party favours?”

Svea giggled.  “Yeah.”

“Grace should have gotten us all cute little bunnies.”

***

“So the rumours are true.  You’re pregnant.”

Svea looked up from her phone to see Trevor waiting down the bar for his coffee, staring right at her as she finished telling the barista her order.  From behind her, one of her co-workers muttered an ‘Ew’ at the sight of him.  With good reason, since Trevor was Svea’s political arch-enemy.  They came up in the political world at the same time, got promotions around the same time, and were forced to work in conjunction with one another – but never actually together.  And they never got along, ever.

“Yes.  I am,” Svea nodded her head once.  “Fancy seeing you here, by the way.  Isn’t your office on the other side of town?”

“We travel all over the city,” he said.  His smarmy smile made her blood boil.  He grabbed his coffee and made his way towards her.  “Congratulations, by the way.  I wish Elias a lot of luck.  He’s going to need it.”

“Just like you after we decimated you in the election, I assume.”

His smarmy smile left his face.  

***

The Boeser girls got so excited by the flashing lights in the arena, the season opener in full swing.  They were clapping and screaming and jumping around on their jerseys as the announcer began to announce the team, knowing that their dad would be near the beginning because of his number six.

“At number six, Brrrrrroooock, Booooeeeseeerrr!” the announcer roared, the crowd roaring as well as the girls screamed at the top of their lungs for their dad.  Dukey was clapping too, balanced on Grace’s hip and in his own little jersey.  Svea couldn’t help but smile.  

Eventually, when they got to Elias, she knew the camera would pan to her.  A member of the press corps had seen her earlier.  And while she and Elias never made a formal announcement on Instagram or anywhere else in terms of her pregnancy, it was now out in the open – especially since that reporter asked about it during the media scrum earlier that day.  “Your wife Svea is pregnant now; is the focus at the beginning of this season for you on hockey or on the things happening at home?”  

The audacity of that question being asked made her head spin.

Lily had already wrapped her arms around Svea’s legs, and like clockwork, they were shown on the jumbotron clapping.  At that point, the 20,000-plus fans in the arena could see she was seven months pregnant.  The bump protruded through the jersey.  And when the fans realized, they got noticeably louder.  Like, louder louder.  Cheering, whistling, smiling – so much so it sent shivers down Svea’s spine.  

She smiled from ear to ear.

***

“Happy birthday, my beautiful wife,” Elias mumbled against Svea’s lips.  He’d been kissing her, slow and sensual, but also quick and fast – every type of kiss, really – for the last fifteen minutes.  He’d just made her a homemade dinner, and now he was ready for, uh, dessert.  

“This time next year I’ll be a mom to a ten-month-old,” she mused.

Elias smiled.  “It feels like just yesterday that we surprised Grace and Brock,” he said.  

“It’s been twelve years.”

“Still feels like yesterday,” Elias kissed her again.  “My moon, my stars, my Svea.”

***

“I think it’s cutting it too close,” Elias mused as they lay in bed together, Svea’s bump widening the distance between them.  

“Elias, I’m only thirty-six weeks,” Svea rationalized.  “My mom carried Sigrid to almost 42 weeks and me right to 40.  This baby isn’t coming out anytime soon.”

“But you’ve…grown so much in the last few weeks,” he said, laying a hand on the bump.  “And you’ve been so tired, and the doctor’s appointments have to be weekly because of that and I just don’t—”

“Elias—”

“It’s fifteen days, Svea.  I’ll just let them know it’s too close.”

“Elias,” Svea said sternly.  “You’re going to the East Coast and that’s that.  You’re going to get back and we’re going to celebrate your birthday and then we’re going to have this baby.  In that order.”

***

If you looked, if you really looked at the video, you could see Elias being called off the bench at the beginning of the third period.  

The announcers mentioned it after the fact.  And when play stopped about two minutes later, they were able to show the replay.  They went through some major points of his shift, spoke about how good it was, and then showed how he skated back to the bench and sat down.  About fifteen seconds later, someone came barreling through the tunnel and was screaming Elias’s name, waving him over to get off the bench.  Elias complied.  The analysts wondered – there was no hit, no scuffle, no trip, no high stick, no fall, seemingly no injury, no penalty at all or anything even worth a penalty during the play, and a perfectly healthy Elias Pettersson was being rushed off the bench?  What was going on?

The camera stayed on Elias speaking to the man in the tunnel.  Nobody could lip read but everybody could see Elias run down the tunnel once the man spoke.

“What’s wrong?  What’s going on?”

“You need to get back to Vancouver.  It’s Svea.  She’s been rushed to the hospital and she’s lost a lot of blood.”

He was a six hour flight away in Florida.  

***

There was blood everywhere.  All over their bed.  All over their sheets.  

Svea called an ambulance.  She called Grace screaming and wailing into the phone.  She called her mom in Sweden crying.  The pain was almost too much.  The contractions were too.  When the paramedics came, she was loaded into an ambulance and rushed to the hospital.  “My husband.  You need to call my husband.  He’s in Florida playing hockey.  He needs to be here.  He—He—the baby—the baby—the baby—”

***

It was the worst six hours of Elias’s life.  Eight hours really, from leaving the rink to getting off the plane and rushing to the hospital.  Grace called in the last minutes before the flight took off to update him.  Svea had placenta previa.  That’s why there was so much spontaneous blood loss.  The doctors had stopped the bleeding, but she’d needed a blood transfusion.  It went fine.  But now she was in labour.  At 37 weeks.

“It’ll have to be a c-section,” Grace explained.  “There was too much blood loss and too big a risk for more blood loss for a vaginal birth like Svea wanted.  And I don’t – Petey – she will probably need a hysterectomy.”

“Hysta-what?  What’s that?”

“They’re going to have to remove her uterus, Petey.  This baby is going to be your only baby.”

***

Elias rushed to put on the scrubs provided by the nurses.  He rushed to get back into the delivery room knowing that Svea had already had a blood transfusion.  He rushed to be in the room to watch the doctor operate – literally operate on his wife – so that Svea could deliver the baby safely and have her hysterectomy.

***

Margot Pettersson.

They named her Margot Pettersson.

After all the blood, the fear, the frantic phone calls, the six-hour flight, the surgery, the operation – Margot was here.  And she was healthy.  

It took everything within Elias not to break down crying as he held her in his arms and lay in the hospital bed with Svea, who was recovering well considering the trauma and how much blood she lost.  They couldn’t take their eyes off their daughter.  She was perfect in every way, from the blonde hair on her head to her tiny, tiny, tiny little toes.  

She was finally here.  

***

It was a few days later when Svea felt confident enough to be in a photo – she didn’t “look like death” anymore, as she put it.  Elias sent it to his teammates.  He was on some brief phone calls with the powers that be on the Canucks for a statement and for some time off.  

When he rejoined Svea in their hospital room as she fed Margot, he sat on the bed and wrapped an arm around his girls.  “The bed,” she said suddenly, looking at him.  “We have to buy a new bed.  I can’t sleep in that bed anymore.  All I’ll see is blood.”

“Grace and Brock already took care of it,” he said.  “Everything is going to be fine when we get back home.  I promise.”

***

The Vancouver Canucks organization would like to extend their congratulations to Elias and Svea Pettersson on the birth of their daughter, Margot.  Mrs. Pettersson continues to recover in the hospital.  Elias will be a healthy scratch for the next four games to ensure the health and well-being of his family.  

***

Svea was on bed rest in their new bed, Stella’s snout resting on her post-partum belly.  Elias never wanted to let go of Margot unless it was to put her back in Svea’s arms.  He couldn’t keep his eyes off of her, either.  Even when Svea was breastfeeding.  He found it to be the most beautiful thing in the world, watching his wife, who he loved so much, feeding and nourishing his daughter, who he loved so much.

He cuddled with them, snuggling into Svea’s side as he watched Margot.  The little sounds she was making brought a smile to his face.  He brought his hand up and caressed her head gently, the blonde hair atop her head perfectly combed.  

“I finally have boobs now,” Svea whispered.

Elias snorted and Svea had a cheeky smile on his face.  “I’ve always loved your boobs.  Big or small.”

“Hmm, don’t I know it,” she hummed, giving him another kiss.  She looked down at her daughter.  “She’s perfect, isn’t she?”

“In every way.”

***

Elias’s birthday was much quieter this year.  Well, quieter in the sense that there weren’t any friends in his house; quieter in the sense that he wasn’t at some hip restaurant downtown eating an incredibly expensive steak while sipping on an incredibly expensive glass of wine while he wore an incredibly expensive outfit and an incredibly expensive watch, watching his beautiful and sexy wife in an incredibly expensive dress sip sultrily on an incredibly expensive glass of wine as she eyed him up and grazed his leg with her heel under the table.  

But this was still his favourite birthday ever.

Sitting on the couch, a warm bottle of pumped breastmilk in his hands, feeding his eight-day-old daughter.

His life was perfect.

***

“She looks like Petey,” Brock said as he held a swaddled Margot in his arms.  

“They have to biologically, you know,” Grace jumped in.  “But my god you two, her eyes are so damn blue.  I mean I know that’s the Swedish thing and all, but they’re sooo blue.”

“I know,” Elias smiled.  “Even the doctor mentioned it during one of her checkups.  She’ll have a beautiful set of eyes, that’s for sure.  Just like her mom.”

Svea swooned.  She watched as Brock craned his neck down and placed a quick kiss atop Margot’s head.  “Getting baby fever again, Brock?” she winked at him.

“No no no, five is plenty,” he chuckled.  “I just love that newborn baby smell.”

Svea, Elias, and Grace let out the all-knowing “Oooooh” sound in agreement.  “You’re so right, babe,” Grace nodded.  “It’s the best smell in the world.”

***

“God, I missed this,” Svea said as she took a huge gulp of crisp, clean Vancouver air.  It was her first time outside with Stella in weeks, now that she was off bedrest and fully recovered from her c-section and hysterectomy.  Her doctor had okayed light physical activity, so she’d invited Grace and Dukey over for a short walk around the neighbourhood.  Grace had obviously agreed, and had brought Coolie and Milo along.  

“Me too.  You’ll be back running and doing yoga in no time,” Grace said, remembering some of their jaunts over the years where Grace would bring out Violet, or Rose, or Lily, or Poppy on walks or runs in their strollers too.  When she finished strapping Duke in, and made sure he had his snacks, she rose to her feet.  “You feel good?”

Svea nodded.  “We just have to go slow.  And I can do maximum half an hour.”

“I’ll go as slow as you want me to,” Grace said.  She peeked into Margot’s stroller and noticed she was already asleep.  Her son, on the other hand, was screaming about his grapes.  “Let’s hope Dukey’s grapes last the entire time.”

***

Did Elias and Svea go all out for Margot’s first Christmas?  Yes.

Did Svea dress her up in a red dress, green shoes, frilly headband, and reindeer antlers?  Yes.

Did Svea dress her up in an elf outfit, complete with curled shoes?  Yes.

Was there a portrait with the new family and Santa Claus?  Yes.

Did Elias and Svea send the pictures to their family members, co-workers, and every teammate?  Yes.

Did it get leaked to the media?  Yes.

***

“She’s gonna start her chubby phase soon,” Brock said as he held Margot in his arms, feeding her with a bottle, as Elias sautéed some mushrooms on a skillet as part of their lunch.  “She’s eighteen weeks now?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s the best,” Brock said.  “They got so chunky.  So squishy.  I swear I went crazy for every one of them.”

“Margot was born at 37 weeks though.  We might have to wait a little bit longer.”

“Well, call me the second you start noticing chunk,” Brock said.  “I’ll be over here in a heartbeat.”

***

“There was a lot of blood.”

Elias held Svea in his arms as they lay down in bed together after one of Margot’s middle-of-the-night feedings.  Margot had been really fussy and took a while to be put down and fall asleep again; Svea had been unable to go back to sleep herself once she was in bed, tossing and turning and not even being able to keep her eyes closed.  Even Elias’s cuddling wasn’t helping, which meant something was on her mind and keeping her restless.  So he’d asked her what was wrong.

And that’s what she responded with.

He knew immediately what she meant.  Ever since that day, when he was called off the bench and rushed back to Vancouver, he’d beaten himself up for not being there, as a husband should have been for his wife, as she went through such a traumatic event.  It traumatized him, but that didn’t even take into consideration how much it traumatized her.  That’s what really mattered here.  She still had to deal with it.  She still had to see it in her mind when she closed her eyes.  She had the memory, not him.  

It killed Elias inside knowing Svea had to carry that burden with her.  

“You were so strong, though.  And your strength gave us our daughter,” he said.

Svea nodded slightly before she looked at her husband.  “Were you scared?  When they told you, I mean.  When you were rushed off the bench.”

Elias nodded his head immediately.  “I was terrified.”

“Of what?”

“That I was going to lose you and the baby,” he admitted.  “Were you scared?”

“I was,” Svea said.  “Do you…are…are you angry we can only have one?”

“Why would I be angry?” he was beside himself at her question.

“I don’t know.  I just…are you angry we didn’t have a boy?  Or that we can’t have a son in the future?  Or another daughter?  Are you angry I wasn’t healthy enough to—”

“Stop it right now,” he ordered.  Tears were falling down his face at her words.  “You’ve given me everything I’ve ever wanted and needed in my life.  Do you understand me?  Everything.”

Svea was crying now too.  “You’ve just been so good to me, Elias.  I want to give you everything too, like you always give me.”

“You already have,” he whispered, kissing her, feeling her tear-stained cheeks on his.

***

“You want to hold the baby, Violet?” Svea asked quietly as the Boeser girls looked at tiny Margot resting in Svea’s arms.  Violet nodded her head desperately and outstretched her hands automatically.  “You have to sit on the couch, baby girl,” Svea said, and Violet did as she was told.

Svea extended her arms and passed Margot to her slowly.  “Put your arm up,” she said.  “You have to support her head.”  Violet nodded.  Margot fussed a little bit, but once she was in Violet’s arms, she stopped.

Violet smiled.  “Hello Margot,” she said in a soft voice, smiling.  

“Hello Margot,” Rose mimicked in the same voice.

“Hello Margot,” Lily mimicked in the same voice.

“Hello Margot,” Poppy mimicked in the same voice.

All at the same time, the girls leaned forward and placed light kisses onto Margot’s face.

Svea couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear.

***

“Look at my beautiful baby girl,” Elias cooed as he finished changing Margot’s diaper, buttoning up her little onesie as she wiggled on the change table, looking up at him with her big blue eyes.  “Hällo Margot!  Hällo!”

She gurgled happily.  Elias chuckled as he finished the last of the buttons, eventually scooping her up in his arms carefully and holding her against his chest.  She settled in quickly, calming herself down as Elias walked from her nursery to his bedroom.  Just as he walked in, Svea walked out of their ensuite bathroom with a robe on, drying her hair with a towel.  When she saw her husband and daughter, she smiled automatically.  

“Hello my loves,” she whispered, approaching them slowly.  At the sight of Svea, Margot gurgled happily again, even waving her arms up and down once excitedly.  “Hello Margot!  Hello my beautiful baby!”

“Beautiful baby had a stinky diaper this morning,” Elias griped jokingly.  

Svea laughed, placing a light kiss on top of Svea’s head.  “Making daddy change the stinky ones?  Good baby.”

***

Margot’s first game, after she got all of her appropriate vaccinations, was against the Toronto Maple Leafs.  Elias and Svea made sure to go to the arena early so that his teammates could see her before the game.  Even Elias’s friend William Nylander from the Leafs was able to pop over and congratulate the couple.  Svea appreciated the gesture, since she knew how busy he was.  

“Oh my Gooooooddddd,” Holly cooed as she saw Margot dressed up in a little Vancouver Canucks jersey.  “The baby jersey!  The baby jersey!  Can Gunnar be this small again?!”

Svea laughed as Holly clutched at her heart.  Bo smiled from ear to ear when he noticed, too.  “She’s adorable, Svea.”

“Thanks, Bo.”

“Bo, remember when Gunnar was that small?” Holly asked her husband.  She then wrapped her arms around his one arm, looking up at him sweetly.  “Can we have another one, Bo?  Please?”

“Holly.”

***

Svea hauled some of the grocery bags – the lighter ones, at least – inside the house.  She would leave the other ones for Elias.  He’d probably get angry that she brought in the light groceries, anyway.  He always brought things in – ever since her surgery, at least.  But she was feeling almost back to normal now, and she wanted to start contributing more again.

“Elias?” she called out.  No answer.  She set the grocery bags down in the laundry room and made her way into their house.  “Elias?” she called out again. 

It was only then when he heard loud, screaming giggles coming from the family room.  Following the giggles, Svea heard the sound of raspberries being blown against skin, and an orchestra of loud, happy giggles again, this time from both Margot and Elias.

She smiled to herself.  As she walked further into the house, turning a corner, she looked into the family room to find Elias on his knees in front of the couch, Margot on the cushion in between his arms in just a diaper, and him blowing raspberries on her tummy.  Margot was laughing and wiggling in pure happiness.  And when Svea’s presence caught Elias’s eye, he looked up.  “Hey baby,” he smiled, before diving in one more time to blow raspberries.

Svea’s heart swelled.

***

“You and Elias deserve a nice Valentine’s Day date,” Grace said before taking a sip of her water.  “How about Brock and I watch Margot for the night and you two go out for a nice dinner?”

Svea loved the idea, but she was still a bit apprehensive.  It would be the first night away from Margot.  And though she trusted Brock and Grace more than anyone else in Vancouver with Margot, it would still be a lot for her, at least mentally.  She assumed it would be the same for Elias.  “I’ll mention it to Elias, and we’ll think about it,” she said.

Grace eyed her.  “Don’t think about it, just do it.  I know it’s hard to think about, but time away from the baby will do you both some good.  It’s necessary.  It’s healthy.  It’s hard but it’s healthy.”

***

“This steak is delectable,” Svea commented as she forked another slice of her filet into her mouth.  

Elias nodded from across the table.  “The wine, too.  It was a good choice,” he said before he took a sip.  He looked lovingly at his wife and smiled before he set his wine glass down.  “D’you miss Margot like I do?”

Svea giggled and nodded her head.  “I do.  But I’m enjoying our Valentine’s Day date,” she said.  “I wouldn’t be anywhere else in the world.”

“Me neither,” he reached across the table to grab her hand.

***

Elias and Stella walked into the bedroom quietly, Elias holding mugs of tea in both hands.  He saw Svea sitting up, looking down peacefully at Margot whom she was breastfeeding.  Svea grabbed the mug from Elias and took a quick sip before setting it down on the nightstand.  Elias climbed into the bed, Stella following, and nestled in close with his two girls, gently stroking Margot’s blonde hair.  

“Thank you for the tea,” Svea said softly, looking at him before pursing her lips slightly, signaling she wanted a kiss.  

Elias gave her one easily.  His lips lingered on hers, giving her small, quick kisses.  “You’ve given me everything I’ve ever wanted,” he whispered huskily.  “The least I could do is bring you tea.”

“Hmmm,” Svea hummed happily.  “Can I suggest some other things you can do tonight?”

Elias smirked.

***

“Look here little Margot!  Look here!” the photographer cooed as her assistant jingled some bells to get the attention of the baby, dressed up in the cutest little dress and tights.  Margot babbled slightly and smiled at the noise.  Elias could hear the shutter of the camera go off like crazy.

“Her eyes are showing up spectacularly on camera,” the photographer commented.  “What a beautiful colour they are.”

Elias and Svea continued to smile throughout the photoshoot.  Then, when they had to take a break, they changed Margot into a different outfit and went outside to take some more pictures.  After a second break, they changed Margot into her last outfit before going to their bedroom and finishing the photoshoot.  

“The photos should be ready for you in a few weeks, after editing,” the photographer said as she packed away her equipment.  By this point, Margot was fast asleep on Elias’s shoulder, her chubby cheeks amplified.  “She’s a cutie, you guys.  I mean, just adorable.”

Elias smiled, placing a soft kiss atop Margot’s head.  “She’s my little princess.”

***

At a cute little café in Yaletown, Svea pushed her stroller back and forth to rock Margot to sleep.  Svea hadn’t gotten any sleep last night thanks to her daughter, and Elias being away on a road trip didn’t help matters.  Svea knew babies went through sleep regression – Margot had been a fantastic sleeper, save for the last two weeks – but she wondered how long this would last.  She was trying everything she could, but Margot wasn’t sleeping.

When Grace arrived without any of her kids in tow, looking especially stylish with a cute hat and thigh-high boots, Svea waved her down.  Grace waved back and waited in line to order her coffee.  

“You look like you haven’t slept,” Grace commented as she set her coffee down on the table and sat in the seat opposite Svea.

“That’s because I haven’t,” Svea admitted.  She hadn’t even bothered to put on makeup this morning.  “Margot kept me up all night.  She was so fussy, Grace.”

Grace furrowed her brows.  “Do you have milk with you?” she asked.

Svea nodded.  “Of course I do.  In the bag.”

Grace nodded, getting up from her seat.  “Come on.  We’re going home.”

“Wait—what—”

“We’re going back to my house, and you’re sleeping, and I’ll watch and feed Margot.”

Svea could cry.

***

“Look.  At.  The.  CHUNK!!!!!” Brock practically screamed as he looked over Elias’s shoulder as Elias finished putting a new diaper on Margot, who was wiggling happily and cooing at seeing Brock’s face over her dad’s shoulder.  “Look at you!  Look at your chunk!  Look at it!” Brock kept repeating.

“Brock—”

“What’re you gonna do with all these rolls?  What’re you gonna do with all these rolls?!”

“Brock—”

“You gonna open a bakery?  You gonna open up a bakery with all these rolls?”

“BROCK!”

“WHAT?!”

“Get me her blanket!”

Brock moved to the side and reached over to get the soft blanket he knew Elias wanted.  “You don’t have to be so mean,” he grumbled at his best friend.

***

“Look, Svea!  Look!  Look!” Elias’s voice was frantic as he called Svea over from the kitchen.  He could hear her footsteps as she rushed over to the family room.  “Look!”

Svea looked at Elias on his stomach on the floor, a few feet away from Margot who was also on her tummy.  She’d hit the traditional milestone of rolling over a bit early – four months in, instead of five – and now, at just over six months old, Svea watched as Margot started creeping along the floor, moving closer and closer to her dad as he kept wiggling further and further away.  

“Eeeeeeh!” she would cry out in complaint of her seemingly not getting closer to her dad.  “Eeeeeh!”

“Come on Margot!  Just a little bit more!” Elias smiled wide.

She creeped some more, and when she was finally close enough, Elias began peppering her face with kisses.  She giggled at the feeling and screeched with happiness when he picked her up and held her in his arms.  “Baby’s on the move,” he smiled at Svea.

She nodded her head.  “We’re not gonna be able to sit down anymore.”

***

“Where do you think you’re going, missy?” Svea asked playfully as she watched Margot crawl along the hardwood floor of the kitchen.  Her chunky rolls filled out her avocado-printed onesie she was wearing as she made a beeline for the sunlight coming through the sliding door.  

“Aaaaaeeeeeeee!” Margot squeaked at the sound of her mother’s voice, looking back.

“Where are you going?” Svea asked.  

“Eeeeeeeaaaaaaaaa!”

“Eeeeeeeaaaaaaaaa!” Svea mimicked, knowing she should be mimicking the sounds for Margot’s development.  She grabbed her phone off the counter and walked around her, crouching down on the floor and opening her camera for a video.  “Come on Margot!  Let’s show daddy how you can crawl!”

“Aaaaaaaadadada!!” she said, continuing her babbling and crawling as she made her way against the hardwood floor and towards the camera.  

Later, when Svea held Margot on hip as she fixed a quick bowl of raspberries as a snack, she sent the video to Elias.  His response was almost immediate.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

***

“She’s cruising now,” Svea explained on the phone to Grace.  “Like, she can stand, but the second she takes a step she’s too wobbly and falls down.  But if she’s got the couch or the coffee table, she’s okay.”

“She’s going to be walking soon,” Grace said confidently.  “You guys think you weren’t able to sit down once she started crawling?  Well, good luck now,” she giggled.  

“I don’t know how you did this three times in a row while pregnant with the next,” Svea admitted.  “Crouching down, picking her up, over and over and over again…all that with a bump?  You’re superwoman, Grace.”

“I’m not superwoman, I’m just a mom,” Grace said.  “For going what you went through to deliver her, you’re superwoman too, you know.”

***

“Come to daddy, Margot.  Come to daddy,” Elias beckoned as he sat with his arms and legs outstretched about six feet away from Svea, who was holding Margot up by just her hands.  All of the videos Svea had sent him over the last road trip of Margot trying to walk and then falling made him want to practice once he got home.  He refused to see his daughter’s first steps over an iPhone video, and Svea understood that completely.

“Go to daddy,” Svea whispered in her daughter’s ear as she let go of her hands.

Margot wobbled a bit, took a cautionary first step, then a second, and at her parent’s excited voices, she smiled and continued with her steps, reaching Elias who was so elated with joy that he scooped her up in his arms and peppered her chubby face with kisses.  Svea could see tears escaping his eyes as he repositioned his daughter, holding her up again by her hands, and encouraging her to walk to Svea.  Some more wobbly steps and a mid-distance squat later, Margot was back in Svea’s arms, getting more kisses.

They had a walker.

***

“Your costumes are sooooo awesome, girls!” Svea cooed as she looked at Violet, Lily, Rose, and Poppy dressed up in their witch costumes as she entered the Boeser house.  “Are you girls ready to go trick-or-treating?”

The four girls nodded their heads excitedly.  “What’s Margot dressed up as?!” Violet asked.

“You’ll see when Elias brings her in,” Svea smiled, watching as Dukey, dressed up as Buzz Lightyear came running towards the door.  “Hi Dukey!”

“I Buzz Lightyear!” he screamed excitedly.  “Look!” he turned around to show off the wings of the costume.  He raised his hand in the air.  “Iffity and blonde!”

“To infinity and beyond!” Svea copied him.

Before they could go any further, Elias walked through the door with Margot in his arms and her diaper bag over his shoulder.  “Hello girls,” Elias greeted them.  “Nice costumes!  Look at Svea’s!”

The four girls cooed at her, admiring her in her cute little costume.  “Mooooooom!  Svea’s a strawberry!”

From inside the house, Elias and Svea could hear Grace scream in delight.

***

“Haaaaaappy Birthdaaayyyyy to you!  Haaaaaappy Birthdaaayyyyy to you!  Haaaaaappy Birthdaaayyyyy dear Maaaaarrrgggooooottt!  Haaaaaappy Birthdaaayyyyy to you!”

Margot was smiling from ear to ear as she giggled and clapped excitedly as everyone sang to her.  Her first birthday party was a hit – Irene and Torbjorn were able to come in from Sweden, Emil and Fanny were Zooming in with their kids, and practically the entire team and their kids were over the Pettersson house celebrating the big day.  

“Blow, Margot!  Blow!” Elias bent down so he was at the same eye-level as his daughter in her high chair.  He showed her how to do it before watching as she tried to mimic him.  “Blow!”

Instead, Margot made a loud fart noise with her mouth.

Everyone laughed hysterically.  Elias could hear Brock scream “I hope someone got that on video!”  Elias watched as Svea bent down to be at eye-level with Margot too.  “On three!  One, two three!  Blow!”

***

“Say mama.  Mama,” Elias said as he lay on his back on the couch and hat Margot sitting on his chest.  “Mama.  Mommy.”

“Dada.”

“No, no dada.  Mmmmmmmaaaammmmmmaaaaa,” he emphasized.  “Mama!”

“Dada!”

“MAMA!”

“DADA!”

“Elias!” Svea yelled from the kitchen.  “You can’t force her words.”

Elias grumbled.  “Mama,” he said, much quieter so Svea wouldn’t hear.  “Mama.”

“DADA!”

***

“Gröt,” Svea cooed as she spooned some more oatmeal into a spoon.  It was already all over Margot’s face and hands, Margot loving every spoonful.  Her big blue eyes looked at the spoon excitedly.  “This is gröt, Margot.  Gröt.”

“Do we really want Margot’s first Swedish word to be oatmeal?” Elias laughed as he joined his girls at the table, setting his mug of coffee down and placing Svea’s tea beside her on the table.  

“It’s at least a single syllable,” Svea mused.  She looked back at Margot, who had just swallowed the spoonful of oatmeal and was pointing at Elias taking a sip of his coffee.  “Gröt.  Gröt!” Svea repeated.  “Gröt!”

Margot pointed emphatically.  “Fika!” she said suddenly.  Svea’s and Elias’s jaws dropped.  “Fika!”

Elias snorted from behind Svea.  “Fika.  Of course her first Swedish world would be fika.”

***

“If I’m going to go back to work – I mean, I am, it’s not a question – we need to find a good daycare,” Svea said, eyes focused on her laptop screen as Margot was napping.  

“More important than the daycare, Svea, is if you’re ready,” Elias cautioned.  “Are you ready to go back to work?”

Svea had thought about it a lot – she really did.  Being at home with Margot was amazing, of course – it was the best thing ever, and she valued every millisecond – but she was ready to return to her career.  It wasn’t that she had a duty or an obligation to, or that she was feeling forced or pressured or put it on herself to be a do-it-all working mother.  She just…genuinely felt like it was the right thing to do for her.  Svea never saw herself as a stay-at-home-mother, even though she and Elias had boatloads full of money and she was told by co-workers, well-meaning-but-ultimately-offensive-friends, and random people that she didn’t need to work.  “I’m ready,” she nodded her head.  “I know it’s not going to be the same as it was before, that I won’t be working as hard, but that doesn’t matter to me.  I’ve already perfected my role.  I’ve already won an election for my party.  But I still…I still want to work.”

Elias nodded his head.  He knew Svea meant every word.  And who was he to say no?  There was no way.  He never held Svea back before, and he wasn’t going to start now.  “Then let’s look at daycares.”

***

“Every daycare we’ve been to, I haven’t gotten the best feeling,” Svea admitted to Grace as she was over her house for coffee.  Dukey and Margot were playing in their playpen in eyeshot as the women spoke about their lives.  “And it’s not me being…me.  I can’t picture Margot there.  I just can’t.  And it’s not me being picky either.  We even brought her to our favourite place to see if she’d like it and she was wailing the entire time.”

Grace was nodding in understanding, but the second Svea mentioned picturing Margot in a daycare, the lightbulb went off in her brain.  “Svea, why don’t I watch her every day?”

Svea was taken aback.  “W—What?”

“What if I watched her?  I’m already home with Dukey anyway.  And you know Margot is comfortable here at the house, and she knows me.  What if I watched her?”

Svea shook her head.  “Grace, no.  No.  I couldn’t do that to you—”

“You’re not doing it to me if I’m offering,” Grace said.  “You know how much I love kids.  It would be so fun for me!  And for Dukey!  And you know how much the girls adore her so when they get home from school you know they’ll be all about it too.  Will you promise me you’ll at least think about it?”

***

--- OFFICE OF THE PREMIER OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE ---

The Office of the Premier would like to formally thank Mitchell Maloney for fulfilling his duties as the acting chief of staff for the past eighteen months.  The office would like to formally announce that Maloney will be assigned the role of Deputy Communications Director, effective two weeks from today, as he transfers out of his position.

The Office of the Premier would like to formally welcome back Svea Pettersson from her maternity leave.  Pettersson will continue to fulfill her duties as the Premier’s Chief of Staff moving forward.  

***

“Oooooooooohhhhh fuuuuuuck, Elias,” Svea moaned, looking over her shoulder at Elias who had just slipped into her from behind.  “Feels so good baby.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Svea nodded.  “I love it when you fuck me from behind.”

She could hear Elias let out a low chuckle.  He began moving in and out of her slowly, almost too slowly, because Svea groaned, and Elias watched as she grabbed at their bedsheets, making her knuckles white.  “Fuck me, Elias.”

“What’s that, pretty girl?” he asked mischievously.

“Fuck me, Elias.  Fuck me harder,” Svea begged.

Elias bent over, placing kisses along her shoulders before nestling his head in the crook of her neck so he could whisper in her ear.  “I fucking love it when you beg.”

***

“Can you say bye-bye to Mama?  Bye bye!” Grace cooed as she bent down to be at level with both Margot and Svea who was already bending down, having kissed her daughter for a solid two minutes, unable to leave just yet.  “Say bye-bye!”

“Bye bye Margot!  You be good for mommy!” Svea cooed, her voice cracking as she began waving her hand so Margot could mimic her.  “Bye bye!”

“Bah-bah!” Margot clasped her hand open and closed.  “Bah-bah!”

“Bye-bye!” Svea wiped a tear that had fallen from her eye.  She stood up, and Grace followed, picking up Margot and balancing her on her hip.  “Please call me if—”

“I will, I will,” Grace interrupted.  “Please don’t worry.  I’ve got it.  Enjoy your first day at work knowing your daughter is safe and having fun.”

“I’m definitely gonna try…can’t guarantee it’ll happen,” Svea tried to joke.

***

“Go like this Margot!  Like this!” Elias said as he was on his knees, clutching a mini-stick, trying to show Margot how to hit the ball into the little hockey net they purchased months ago, which inevitably became the one thing that helped Margot learn how to walk the most.

Margot watched intently as her dad gripped the mini stick and hit the ball into the net, fetching to get it before placing it in front of her.  “Shoot!  Shoot!” he encouraged, making a swooping motion with the stick.

Margot looked down at the ball, and in one swift movement, she brought her mini-stick down and hit it straight into the net.  Elias went wild.  He began screaming and clapping and raising his hands in the air, causing Margot to start screaming and clapping and raising her hands up in the air too.  He swooped her up in his arms and gave her raspberry-style kisses, causing her to shriek and giggle loudly and controllably.  “Margot wins the game!  Margot wins the game!” he screamed in between kisses.

Svea could hear them from upstairs as she read over some work documents for tomorrow.  She felt her heart swell with love.  

***

“Who knew when we were twenty and lame that we’d be surrounded by this many girls,” Brock mused, cracking open a can of beer for Elias.  Both men looked out onto Elias’s backyard to see Violet, Rose, Lily, Poppy, and Margot all playing together, blowing bubbles and trying to catch them without popping them.  Margot was always unsuccessful, but she was having the time of her life.

Elias nodded his head.  “We’re a pair of pretty lucky guys though,” he commented.

Brock nodded his head, looking at his four daughters.  “The luckiest guys in the world.”

Later in the afternoon, when Margot had to go down for her nap, Elias was rocking her back and forth as she fell asleep on his shoulder.  Rose was quiet as she stood with him in the room, keeping a watchful eye and making sure Svea was falling asleep.  When Elias laid Margot down on the bed, Rose finally spoke.  “Uncle Petey?”

“Yes Rosey?”

“Can Margot be my sister?”

Elias smiled.  “I think she already is.”

***

“I’m actually gonna sob.  She looks so cute,” Svea commented as Elias finished putting on Margot’s toddler skates.  Margot was bundled up in a blue jacket with green tights, the colour of the Canucks, and her helmet was already placed securely on her head.  “You excited, Margot?”

“Yaaa!” she squeaked out, smiling at her mom.  “Skate!”

“Yes!  We’re going skating!” Elias cooed, picking her up and placing her on his hip as he and Svea began their walk towards the ice.  

Svea made sure to get her phone ready on video mode, knowing she’d been taking tons and tons of videos.  Most of the Canucks and their families were already on the ice, but Margot had had a mini meltdown when the helmet was put on, which delayed them.  Elias stepped onto the ice, keeping Margot on his hip as he skated around quickly, making her laugh hysterically.  Eventually, he carefully set her down on the ice, crouching down slightly behind her.  She began moving her feet as if she was walking, with Elias holding her hands above her head.

“Look at mommy Margot!  Say hi to mommy!” Elias said as Svea followed them, skating backwards slowly, filming a video on her phone.

“Hiiiiiii!” Margot said, smiling through the wire.  “Hiiiiii!”

“Hi baby!  Look at you skating!” Svea cooed as she continued the video.  “Look at you go!”

Margot squealed excitedly, looking back up at her dad who was smiling down at her as well.  “Skate!  Skate!”

***

“Let’s hope she knows how to blow this time and doesn’t fart again,” Brock commented as he helped Elias light the candles on Margot’s 2nd birthday cake.

“We’ll see,” Elias giggled.  “We haven’t practiced.”

Brock carried the cake so Elias could be beside Margot and Svea.  Everybody began singing happy birthday, and when he placed the cake in front of Margot, she clapped and wiggled excitedly.  Once everyone finished singing, it was time to see.  “Blow, Margot!  Blow!” Grace called out.

She took a deep breath in.  She looked like she was going to do it on her own.  And then…

Fart noise.

Everybody burst out into hysterical laughter.  “Two-for-two!” Brock screamed.

***

“Margot…Margot, look here,” Svea said as she balanced her on her knee, reading her a book since she’d requested it.  “Look here,” she pointed at the words at the bottom of the page.

Margot reached her hands out and pulled the book closer to her eyes.  Svea noticed her squinting until she brought the book really close to her face.  She put her finger above her mom’s and pointed to the animal on the page.  “Monkey!” she said.

Svea felt worry pool in the pit of her stomach.  She pushed the book back to its original distance away from Margot and turned the page.  “What’s this, Margot?” she asked again.

Margot reached out again to bring the book close to her eyes.  “Monkey in tree!”

“Good job, baby,” Svea cooed, closely watching her daughter.  Maybe she was overreacting.  Maybe Margot was just tired.  But Svea knew she was going to mention it to Elias when he got home.  “You’re so smart, baby.”

***

They were pink, naturally, because Margot got to choose and she was all about anything pink.  Elias was worried they would bother her, or she wouldn’t like them, or put up a giant fit once they were finally on and she realized she had to wear them all the time.  He’d shed a tear or two about it, worried like any father would be.  But Margot was taking to them surprisingly well.

“Look, Margot!” Margot’s optometrist smiled as she held up a mirror for Margot to see herself.  “These are your new glasses!  They’re for you!”

“PINK!” Margot exclaimed, swinging her feet excitedly as she saw herself in the mirror.  

“Yes, they’re pink!”

Margot looked up at her dad; she was sitting on his lap, after all.  Her giant smile with her little teeth caused him to smile too.  “Pink, daddy!”

“What’s this, Margot?” the optometrist had already opened a book and held it open a way’s away from Margot.  “What’s this right here?” she pointed to Big Bird on the page.

“Big Bird!”

***

Elias groaned as he finally slipped his hard cock into Svea.  They had been spooning in bed for what felt like hours that morning, waking up well before Margot usually did.  Elias could hear Svea groan at his length filling her up from behind, and she savoured the feeling of him peppering kisses on the backs of her shoulder blades.  “Good morning, pretty girl,” Elias mumbled coarsely in her ear as he thrust in and out of her slowly.

“G’morning, baby,” Svea smiled.  She felt Elias’s hand snake up from her hip to her breast, cupping it in his hand.  “I could get used to waking up with your hard cock inside of me.”

“Mmm, be careful what you wish for, pretty girl.”

“I know exactly what I’m wishing for.”

Elias began moving his hips more, making sure he was getting exactly the right angle even though their movement were still slow and purposeful; when Svea began moaning, closing her eyes when they rolled to the back of her head, he knew what he was doing was exactly what she wanted and needed.  “I love you so fucking much,” she mumbled out, putting her hand over his that was still cupping her breast.

“I love you too,” he placed a tender kiss on her neck.  “Thank you for giving me everything I’ve ever needed.”

Svea smiled at that, biting down on her bottom lip.  “The pleasure’s been all mine.”

***

On a beautiful, hot, and sunny afternoon in Ånge, Elias couldn’t help but smile as he watched his dad hold Margot as they swam in the pool together at his parents’ house.  Margot was having the time of her life in the water – after the baby swimming classes Svea had signed her up for, Elias figured she’d be happy and in her element.  His dad couldn’t get enough of being a grandpa to a little girl, and neither could his mom.  They spoiled all of their grandchildren.  Törbjörn had even bought Margot a little bucket hat with the Swedish flag on it to wear while they were in the pool.  

“Gillar du att stänka vattnet?” his dad cooed as Margot splashed the water with her hands.  “Tänk om jag gjorde det här?” he asked again, throwing her up in the air and catching her low enough so she could splash in the water.  Margot shrieked in delight, and that was enough reason for Törbjörn to continue.  

Elias laughed along with his daughter.  She had the best grandpa.  

***

“Look at all the pretty flowers Margot,” Svea said as she held Margot against her hip, watching Elias as he crowned her with a beautiful flower crown that Fanny helped him make.  

“Woooowww,” Margot said, grabbing at it because she was so excited.  

“Gentle!” Elias warned softly.  He didn’t want it to break after Fanny worked so hard on it.  “Be gentle, Margot,” he repeated as he made sure it was on snugly and properly before pulling his hands away.

“My flower!  My crown!” she smiled.  “Daddy, you have flowers too?”

Elias eyed Svea with a smirk on his face.  Svea knew he’d already crumbled.  All it took was that question from Margot.  He hadn’t exactly planned on wearing a flower crown, but he knew exactly where this was headed now.  “You want daddy to wear flowers too?”

Margot nodded her head enthusiastically.  “Mommy, daddy, me match!”

What Margot wanted; Margot got.  

***

“It would be the first picture we’ve posted of her since the Christmas card photos leaked,” Elias mused as he looked at the picture on his Instagram, almost, almost ready to hit the elusive ‘post’ button.  

“We didn’t release those – they were posted without our consent,” Svea clarified.  She was right.  They had no control over that and were actually really upset about it.  To this day, they still don’t know who did it.  “This would be the first photo you post of her willingly.”

Elias looked over at his wife.  “Do you think I should do it?  It’s so fucking cute,” he looked back at his phone, admiring the picture one more time.  

In it, Margot was in her pink fluffy bathrobe, her wet hair combed back, and she was sitting on Elias’s chest as they were in bed together.  Elias was holding her, pursing his lips, and Margot was putting lip balm on his lips.  A classic “girl dad” photo, he thought.  And if he was going to send any message out into the world about his child and the relationship he had with her, it was going to be what was encapsulated in this picture.

Svea snuggled herself into Elias’s side, bringing her hand up and pressing ‘post’ for him.  “There,” she said, smiling.  “All done.”

***

“When she blows out the candles, she better fart again.”

“You’re gross.”

“She’s gotta go three-for-three, Petey, or else this party is a bust.”

“You have a boy – can’t you go make fart jokes with him?”

“I have a boy who has grown up with four older sisters.  He isn’t exactly one for fart jokes.”

Elias shook his head at Brock, but he couldn’t help the smirk that grew on his face.  “You finally get a boy after four girls and you can’t even make a fart joke with him,” he shook his head playfully.  “Just your luck, eh?”

Brock shook his head.  “I have five healthy, beautiful kids.  I’ll take whatever I get.”

When Elias carried the cake in and Brock began recording on his phone, everybody began singing happy birthday to Margot – a happy, energetic but cautious, giggly but quiet, exactly-like-both-her-parents’-temperaments-it-was-kind-of-scary-three year old, who every day was looking more and more like Elias’s double.  She adjusted her glasses as everyone sang to her, and clapped along too.  When it was time to blow, she did.

No fart noises.

“Noooooooo!” Brock groaned loudly.  Elias pretended like he was going to backslap him over the head.  “No fart noise!”

“It was fun while it lasted,” Svea winked at him.

***

“Will they be in my class, mommy?” Margot asked as she looked into the classroom sheepishly, a little shy now that she was in a new environment.  Elias and Svea had started to talk to her about school, and how – now that she was a big girl – she needed to start going to school to learn, just like how Violet, Rose, Lily, and Poppy went to school.  

“Can I go to Poppy’s school?” she asked nervously one day.

Elias and Svea decided to take her there, knowing that it would make her feel more comfortable.  Knowing that Violet, Rose, Lily, and Poppy went there too put her at ease.  When they saw all the girls in the junior kindergarten class in their green plaid dresses, they could tell Margot recognized them from seeing them on the Boeser girls.  

“These girls won’t be in your class, but new girls who are the same age as you will be,” Svea said.  “Do you like that?”

Margot hesitated slightly before nodding her head.  “I like new friends.”

***

“She is out cold,” Svea smiled as she lowered herself slowly and gently onto the couch, making sure not to disturb the peaceful image before her: Margot, after an exciting and fun day of shopping for her new school uniform, completely knocked out in Elias’s arms, sleeping soundly on his chest as he rubbed her back.

Svea cradled her body into Elias, too, snuggling up against him and admiring her daughter.  From the blonde hair on her head, to her pink glasses on her face, to her cute little toes Elias still loved to pretend to eat, she was perfect.  As Svea thought this, she felt Elias grab her hand between them and bring it up to his lips for a kiss, holding on to it as his thumb grazed over her skin.  “We did alright in the end, didn’t we?”

Svea smiled and nodded her head.  “We did.”

“She’s perfect.  She’s just perfect,” he said, placing the lightest of kisses atop Margot’s head.

“I was just thinking the same thing,” Svea admitted.

Elias looked over at her, craning his head down to give his wife a kiss.  “I love you more than I know how to explain.  Thank you for giving me the light in my life.”

***

“Then all around from far away across the world, he smelled good things to eat, so he gave up being king of where the wild things are,” Elias read to Margot as they cuddled together in the rocking chair in her room.  In her comfortable jammies and with her head on his chest, she was mouthing along to all the words of the book.  Elias could see her get progressively more tired as he flipped through the pages, though she kept trying to mouth along and kept trying to keep her eyes open.  

When they finished, Elias put the book on her bedside table as he cradled Margot in his arms and lay her down in bed, making sure to put the covers over her just how she liked.  Still struggling to keep her eyes open, he brushed some hair out of her face.  “Daddy?” she asked in her sweet voice.

“Yes baby?”

“I love you daddy.”

Elias smiled.  “I love you too, Margot.”

“Will you read to me always?” she asked.

Elias nodded his head automatically.  “Always.”

***

“Look at her go!” Grace exclaimed as she watched Margot zoom around the ice, chasing Poppy and Dukey around as they all giggled like maniacs.  “I mean, who am I kidding?  The daughter of Elias Pettersson?  Of course she’s gonna skate like that!”

“She’s definitely a natural,” Svea smiled as her eyes followed her daughter around the ice.  Brock and Elias both skated up behind their kids and scooped them up in their arms, giving them kisses before setting them back down on the ice together.  “Do you ever think about how far we’ve all come…based on where we started when we met each other in our early twenties?”

“All the time,” Grace nodded.  “We were so young!  We were kids!  Now there’s six kids between us!”

“A little skewed on your side, though,” Svea winked.

Grace elbowed her playfully.  “We did good.”

***

“Margot!  Margot!” Elias called out to his daughter who was already having fun with a new friend in her classroom as they played with a xylophone together.  Other parents were in the room doing the exact same thing as he and Svea: making sure everything was okay on the first day of school.  But the longer he and Svea stood there watching her, the more they realized she didn’t need them there; that she would thrive in the classroom and not have a meltdown about being in a new place.  

To her credit, Margot listened when she heard her dad call her name and got up from her seat to hop over to her parents.  “Mommy and daddy have to go now,” Elias said as he and Svea crouched down so they could by at eye-level with her.  She nodded her head in understanding.  “You listen to Mrs. Becker, okay?”

“I will.”

“Aunt Grace is going to come pick you up with Violet, Rose, Lily, and Poppy.  Remember?” Svea asked.

“Yes mommy.”

“And remember—” Svea choked up slightly, Elias putting her hand over hers.  “Mommy and daddy love you very much.”

“I love you too!” Margot said as she hugged her parents goodbye before skipping back to her friend and playing with the xylophone again.  

Elias and Svea said goodbye to Mrs. Becker and held hands as they left the school building and walked back together to their car in the parking lot, silent the entire time.  When Svea looked over at Elias once they were back in the privacy of their car, she could see tears streaming down his face.  “Now you’re going to make me cry,” she said, wiping a few tears that had fallen.

“She’s so good.  I’m so proud of her,” he said, wiping his own tears with the backs of his hands.  “No meltdowns!  Just walked right in there and started making friends.  She’s so good.”

“Don’t jinx it – she might have a meltdown tomorrow,” Svea joked, trying to lighten the mood.

It garnered a smile out of Elias.  He looked at his wife and placed his hand over hers tenderly.  “I love you so much,” he mumbled, bringing her hand up to kiss it before cradling it against his chest, above his heart.  All these years later, I’ve just grown to love you more, if that’s even possible.”

“I think it is, because I grew to love you more too,” Svea said softly.  “My Elias.  Always my Elias.

He kissed her hand again.  “My moon, my stars, my Svea.”

[strong-as-a-tree]

LEVI X HANDMAID!READER (THE HANDMAID’S TALE X SNK - CROSSOVER) // PART. 7

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Reader (also Erwin but not romantically)

Disclaimers: Considering what the Handmaid’s Tale is talking about, expect to have some shocking scenes in this. If you are not sure, please look out for a summary of the show on the internet before reading. This story will contain sensible topics if you are not comfortable with the followings, please don’t read this story ♡

Also, yeah the characters will be slightly OOC, because of the nature of the story I couldn’t do it differently, I know Canon Erwin would never endorse Gilead, it literally hurts me to write him as this disgusting Commander… Sorry in advance for any Erwin’s simps !

TW: Emotional Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Female Oppression, mention of executional death, childbirth

Minors DNI

Word count: 1,852 words MASTERLIST

PART 1 // PART 2 // PART 3 // PART 4 // PART 5 // PART 6

"Ofdaniel is in labour!"

Ruth had woken you up with this amazing news, the older woman immediately helped you get dressed, as the minivan was on its way to pick you up. You had never witnessed a birth yet, of course you knew what you would have to do, they prepared every handmaids for those kind of events back at the Red Center. Despite knowing what was to come, you couldn't help but feel a little nervous at the prospect of witnessing the birth of a child.

The red mini van picked you up, it was raining outside, you could hear the rain hitting the van from inside. As usual, the handmaids weren't allowed to talk in the vehicle, but you could all feel the excitement filling the air.

You were the last handmaids to arrive at the house, and Aunt Olga greeted you with a large grin on her face. She made you all walk in single file along the long corridor leading you to Ofdaniel. You spotted the wives on your way there, all dressed in their regular blue dresses, crowded around Ofdaniel's Commander's wife, who was on the floor, acting as though she was having contractions. Childbirth, like the Ceremony, had a strict protocol to follow, one of which was that the wife must act as if she is in labor herself, allegedly to strengthen the bond between the future mother and the baby.

When you entered the master bedroom, Ofdaniel was panting and her contractions were getting harder and stronger, and the image of the wives soon faded from your mind. The majority of the handmaids had already gathered around her, doing the breathing exercise with her, you joined them. When it was time to push, all the handmaids assisted Ofdaniel to sit in the wooden birthing chair, 'breath in, breath out'. 'Breath in, breath out', the wives entered and helped the Commander's wife to sit on the chair too, right behind Ofdaniel, you didn't even laid an eyes on them, you were sorely focused on Ofdaniel. She was amazing, breathing at the right times, pushing like they taught you at the Red Center.

There were so many people in the room, but still, you thought Ofdaniel was the epitome of dignity, you were awestruck by her strength. Meanwhile, the Commander's wife was also letting out small whimpers, acting as she was pushing along with Ofdaniel. As Aunt Olga announced that the baby's head was out, you patted Ofdaniel's back, 'breath in, breath out,' and the baby was eventually out after a few pushes. Silence fell in the room, when a cry finally escaped the infant's mouth, everyone let out a cry of relief. "There is no greater miracle than the miracle of life." said Aunt Olga with a smile on her face. Ofdaniel was glowing, already putting her arms towards the baby, but Aunt Olga ignored her and gave the baby to the Commander's wife.

One of the handmaid took Ofdaniel's hands so the wives wouldn't notice her previous gesture, you could see that Ofdaniel eyes were glued to her baby, the wives were already leaving the room. You noticed Ofdaniel's face contort in a desperate state, tears streaming down her cheeks, and you knew she was about to explode; you weren't the only one who realised it, and all the handmaids gathered around her and hugged her, preventing the woman from doing anything that would result in her punishment. Her muffled cries could be heard, and silent tears welled up in your eyes as well.

Most of the other handmaids had left, the other that stayed were helping the Martha of the house with the buffet for the Commanders and the wives. You were still in the master bedroom, Aunt Olga had asked you to stay with Ofdaniel, the older woman was surely with the Commander's wife, examining the baby, it was also part of an Aunt's job after all. You were sitting on the bed, next to you was Ofdaniel, she was laying under the covers, you had helped her get cleaned with Ofgrisha earlier. She was silent, her eyes were wide open, looking at the ceiling above you. You were holding her hand that was resting on her still swollen stomach, "It's funny, y'know", Ofdaniel's voice was so faint that at first you thought you had imagined it. The woman didn't wait for you to ask her what was funny as she continued, "Every month they desperately tried to put a child in me here, in this bedroom, and today they placed me in this bedroom again, but this time, I had to give them back this child..."

You pinched your lips, unsure what to say; although Gilead taught you that your whole life should revolve around having a baby, you had a nagging feeling that if life had been different for you, if Gilead hadn't existed, if they hadn't taken you away from your parents when you were still a teenager, you wouldn't have wanted children. Maybe Gilead simply ruined the idea of motherhood for you, and you were lying to yourself, 'there is no use to think about that, it's not like you would ever be a mother anyway', you thought as you tried to push the mental image of a baby in your arms out of your mind.

Having a baby would entail, like Ofdaniel, having to give it up and immediately go to another 'family' to give them another child. You knew it was your fate, Gilead frequently tested their handmaids, and you knew for a fact that you were very much able to get pregnant. As Aunt Olga would say, that meant you'd never be transferred to the colonies; you'd been blessed. Still, after every Ceremonies, you couldn't help but pray that your Commander was sterile, every month without getting pregnant, were days of semblance of 'freedom'. Not being pregnant, not being under a man's body, not having to take care of another person's child, was the maximum freedom a woman could get in Gilead.

"Ah, my girls!", your thoughts got interrupted as Aunt Olga entered the room, she was beaming! Ofdaniel looked at her with an absent look on her face, you recognized that look, you had worn it before, she had given up. You immediately thought of Levi's words; 'If you continue to shield your mind like this, [...] you'll lose yourself'. You tried to catch her attention by shaking her hand a little, but it was in vain, she didn't acknowledge your gesture. "Oh! Ofdaniel, you did such a good job!" exclaimed the older woman as she sat on the opposite side of the bed, taking Ofdaniel's other hand, "Your Commander is so happy! And his wife too!", Olga was overjoyed, you couldn't help but think she must be even more happy that the parents, you had seen the look on her face when she handed the infant to the wife, there was a tinge of envy, if not outright jealously, beneath her plastered smile. It was not the first time you had seen that look on her face, on your way to the your Commander's house, you also had that thought about the older woman.

"The baby is an healthy little boy, five fingers and five toes on each hand and foot!", said the woman with a laugh, at that statement Ofdaniel's eyes shot up, "C-can I see him?", Aunt Olga sighed, her palm resting on Ofdaniel's cheek, "Oh my dear..." she whispered, "I wish I could say yes for the sake of the baby's health! But the Commander's wife doesn't want you to breastfeed the baby", she said with a disappointed voice. Ofdaniel looked at the ceiling again, a single tear streaming down her cheek, as Olga continued blabbering about how it was a shame that the baby will be fed with formula instead of breast milk. The older woman was known for always saying how much she cared and loved her 'girls', what a lie you thought, right now her only worry was on the infant, not on Ofdaniel.

"I think Ofdaniel needs some rest, Aunt Olga," you finally murmured, interrupting the woman's outpouring, "Oh, you are right Oferwin, how lucky you are Ofdaniel to have such a caring friend beside you!" You cringed at her words; 'lucky' was not the word you had in mind right now. Suddenly Ofdaniel sat up and grabbed Olga's hand, stopping the older woman as she was about to get up, "What's his name?". Olga hesitated a second, studying Ofdaniel's face, "They named him Armin."

You spent the entire day with Ofdaniel, Ofgrisha had come at some point to keep you company, but it was very silent. As the day progressed, Ofdaniel's sadness worsened, and she was forced to return to her chamber. The new parents no longer needed her, therefore she will return to the Red Center tomorrow to rest before being assigned to a new family.

It was late at night and all the other handmaids had left, Aunt Olga had called for Levi to bring you back home, you kissed Ofdaniel's forehead, "I'm sorry" you whispered. You weren't quite sure why you were apologizing, maybe you said sorry because you knew no one would apologize to her; her Commander would never apologize for the Ceremonies, his wife would never apologize for taking her baby away, Aunt Olga would never apologize for not defending her right to see little Armin, Gilead would never apologize.

As you were leaving, you passed by the living room, you caught a glimpse of the baby, he was in a little bassinet, his eyes were closed, but you saw some light almost white hair sticking out of his bonnet. Levi was waiting for you in front of the black Range Rover, he opened the door for you, after making sure you were comfortable, the driver took a seat behind the wheel. You were in the back, you felt tired, all of the emotions of the day took a toll on you. "It's a boy" you suddenly said, you didn't know why you said it, you were sure Levi couldn't care less about the child, but you felt the need to talk. The man didn't react at your words, his eyes were focused on the road, "I think he'll have blond hair, like Ofdaniel", you said, smiling at that thought, neither the Commander nor his wife had blond hair, so the child would at least get something from his mother.

Levi looked at you in the rearview mirror, "Hopefully he won't inherit the Commander's nose", you snorted, he said it with such a nonchalant voice. You continued to tell him how the day went, not forgetting to mention every little detail that you thought were important, like how amazed you were at Ofdaniel's strength or how ridiculous the wife looked when she faked having contractions. Levi didn't speak much, only nodding or giving a witty remark here and there. It was relaxing, it was strangely normal. Normality was such a foreign feeling since you arrived at Gilead, so you embraced the moment.

lovely people: @rapsgoddess​ @a--nonymousse​ @gothiccii @omlbarnes​ @hybrid-huntress​

PART 8