#she was probably on livejournal too

[hussyknee]

Reading Kushiel's Justice, the scene where Imriel and Sidonie start having anal sex, and came across "the head breached the tight ring of muscle". Brain screeched to a halt. Checked the publication date, remembered the internet fan experience of the mid-2000s.

Jacqueline Carey reads fanfiction, I know it.

[madlori]

On being an older fangirl

I was probably 10 years old when I first conceived of what was, looking back, fanfiction. Me and my best friend would lie in bed together on sleepovers and I'd make up stories about what happened after the end of our favorite book, "The Westing Game." She'd ask me for more stories, and I'd tell her more, inventing them as I went along. "Then what?" she'd say.

I was 14 when I went to my first convention. I had discovered Star Trek: The Next Generation. It was 1987, and my youth pastor was a huge Trekkie. He took me to a one-day crappy Creation con, but it was amazing to me. I met Nichelle Nichols. My dad showed me the Trek movies. He and I watched TNG together.

When I went to college in 1991, my dad used to videotape TNG episodes onto VHS tapes and mail them to me, so I could keep watching (I didn't have TV in my dorm room).

By the time I was a senior, we had Trek watching parties in the dorm lounge, where the TV had cable. Star Trek: Voyager had started up, and I wrote a column about it for the college newspaper. I joined a mailing list about it, with people in it that I still know today.

I got my first computer that could go online in 1995. I was on newsgroups. I discovered Doctor Who. I went to Trek conventions where we still passed around fanzines containing fic and art and smutty K/S fan creations.

Then it was Harry Potter. Then there were websites. Then there was Geocities, where we could all make our own little spots. We organized them into webrings. We talked on newsgroups and mailing lists. There were fanfic archives. Then there was fanfiction.net.

Then...there was LiveJournal. And we could interact in entirely new ways. We could form communities, and debate things, and fight over canon, and get into ship wars. On LiveJournal, I met my best friend of 22 years. I was in her wedding. She's my sister of the heart (which is what she calls me).

Then there was Tumblr. And Twitter. And now there's Discord. But it's all the same.

I am the same.

I am still that little girl who made up fanfiction in her head to entertain her best friend. I am still the one who was amazed to find communities on the internet - which was so new, so raw, so uncommodified - where others like me could meet. I found there people to meet in real life.

I am still that twentysomething going to her first major convention, being told that someone loved my fic, being asked about my writing process.

I am still that thirtysomething watching something I wrote blow up. Seeing friends from other fandoms find me in new ones, finding them there, too. Forgetting which fandom I know someone from, because I've known them for twenty years.

I still know some of the people who created those early websites, those mailing lists, those archives. I still meet people in new fandoms who say "Oh, I read your fic in [fandom] fifteen years ago!" There's no feeling quite like having someone remember something you wrote for that long. Or meeting someone whose fic meant a lot to YOU, or who you talked with on rec.arts.drwho.creative in 1997.

Aging in fandom is a gift. Being middle-aged in fandom is a joy. Having people who still read what I write and ask "Then what?" is a blessing.

It breaks my heart that so many people see it as something to be ashamed of, when it is one of my life's greatest gifts.

[bisexualbaker]

Why do people keep recommending Dreamwidth as a Tumblr alternative, when Dreamwidth and Tumblr are so different?

To be flat-out honest, it's because Dreamwidth has so many things that Tumblr users say they want, even if it's also lacking a lot of features that Tumblr users have come to love:

Dreamwidth has incredibly lax content hosting rules. I'd say that it's slightly more restrictive than AO3, but only just slightly, and only because AO3's abuse team has been so overwhelmed and over-worked. Otherwise, the hosting policies are pretty similar. You want to go nuts, show nuts? You can do that on Dreamwidth.

In fact, Dreamwidth is so serious about "go nuts, show nuts", it gave up the ability to accept transactions through PayPal in 2009 to protect our ability to do that. (It's also one reason why Dreamwidth doesn't have an app: Dreamwidth will never be beholden to Apple's content rules this way.)

Dreamwidth cares about your privacy; it doesn't sell your data, and barely collects any to begin with. As far as I'm aware, it only collects what it needs to run the site. The owners have also spoken out on behalf of internet privacy many times, and are prepared to put their money where their mouth is.

No ads. Ever. Period. They mean it. Dreamwidth is entirely user funded.

Posts viewed in reverse chronological order; no algorithm, opt-in or otherwise. No algorithm at all. No "For You" or "Suggested" page. You still entirely create and curate your own experience.

The ability to make posts that only your "mutuals", or even only a specific subset of your "mutuals", can see. Want to make a post that's only open to Bonnie, Clyde, Butch, and Cassidy? You can do that! Want to make a post that's only open to Bonnie and Butch, but Clyde and Cassidy can't see shit? You can do that, too!

The owners have forsworn NFTs and the blockchain in general. Not as big a worry now as it was even a year ago, but still good to know!

We are explicitly the customers of Dreamwidth. Dreamwidth wants to make us happy, so any changes they make (and they do make changes) are made with us in mind, and after exploring as many possibilities as they can.

Dreamwidth is very transparent about their policies and changes. If you want to know why they're making a specific change, or keeping or getting rid of a feature, they will tell you. You don't have to find out ten months later that they're locked into a contract to keep it for a year (cough cough Tumblr Live cough cough).

So those are some things that Tumblr users would probably love about Dreamwidth.

Another reason Dreamwidth keeps being recommended is that a significant portion of the Age 30+ crowd spent a lot of earlier fandom years on a site known as LiveJournal. Dreamwidth may not be much like Tumblr, but it it started out as a code fork of LiveJournal, so it will be very familiar to anyone who spent any time there. Except better.

Finally, we're recommending Dreamwidth because some of the things that Tumblr users want are just... not going to happen on the web as it is now. Image hosting is the big one for this. Maybe in the future, the price of data will be much cheaper, and Dreamwidth will be able to host as much as we all want for a pittance that a fraction of the userbase will happily pay for everyone, but right now that's just not possible.

Everywhere you want to go that hosts a lot of images will either be running lots of ads, selling your data, or both.

Dreamwidth knows how much it costs to host your data, and has budgeted for that. They are hosting within their means, within our means.

Dreamwidth is the closest thing we may ever get to AO3 as a social media platform. One of the co-owners is from, and still in, fandom; she knows our values, because they are also her values. It may as well be the Blogsite Of Our Own.

[coldsaturn]

hiii! i have a question i thought you might be able to answer: how did aftg originally get so popular? i know it was mostly word of mouth on tumblr (still is, i think) (who says this website is unmarketable!!) but what were the early days of the fandom like? personally i've "only" been here since 2016, and by then the series was already decently popular. i remember at that time that the fandom was really welcoming and kind in a way that felt really exceptional to me, and it definitely contributed to me picking up the books, which is the only explanation i can really think of for why it got a bigger following than some to other books which did receive a whole big-publisher marketing campaign aside from it just being well-written. do you have any theories for why it got so massive on here? and do you know how the first readers found it? i hope you don't mind me asking you this, but i remember your blog from wayyyy back when and thought that if anyone had the answer, it would probably be you :)

Hello! I always get so happy when I can talk about the early days of the fandom <3 Sit down here around the fire, let me tell you about this wondrous tale.

So, story time: it was spring 2013, I had just finished a thorough read of In The Company Of Shadows and I was starving for another black hole. It was automatic for me to look up the goodread lists ICoS was featured in, to see what other titles I could pick up, and ended up on the list called "Online M/M stories that deserve to be published". The Foxhole Court was right there (it's not anymore because it IS published <3), so I read it. That was the start of the end lmao

If I remember correctly I didn't wait too long before reading TRK, but TKM didn't come out until the end of the following year, so in the meantime I all but shelved it as something that had incredible potential but that was possibly doomed to never be completed. Fast forward I think the start of 2015 when I accidentally stumbled upon TKM and I couldn't believe I could finally know how the story ended. Nora had a blogspot where she talked about the books (including updates between TRK and TKM), and I remember trying to get as much info as I could on this series. And that was it. For a bit.

So, by the first half of 2015, the fandom was made by people commenting on her blogspot, on her livejournal, the book pages on goodreads, and Ao3 literally had 2 fics ( webarchive gives you what we saw - btw Don't Speak Against The Sun is FIRE and instantly became a new standard for f/f for me). You can still find all this content online. Tumblr had a handful of scattered posts about TFC, mostly Nora's mutuals/friends on tumblr, and a couple of readers screaming into the void with no one answering their call.

I was pretty active on here, especially in the bellarke fandom, and I engaged with mutuals and other blogs often enough that I knew if I talked about something, at least someone would reply. A mutual was reading The Raven Cycle and got me curious enough to liveblog it myself. Instant love, of course, and if you've read TRC you know how strong the found family vibe is. So at the end of my liveblog (we've reached July 2015) I threw out a comment where I recommended AFTG as another worthy title. With the first book being free while the other two were only a dollar each, it sounded a fairly easy commitment. One mutual decided to read it (if you're reading, hi!!!) and liveblog it, and that got the party started.

A party of 2, and I'm not kidding. While we chatted and made up headcanon after headcanon on the phone, the intention was to get others interested in this story. But they'd never do it if there wasn't enough content around to engage with and motivate them to blog themselves, so we started with quote posts, liveblog reactions, a few timid edits and poems. An important choice was figuring out which tag to use (at the time tumblr search only scrolled through tags, not post content): "all for the game" was an actual sports tag, "the raven king" was the title announced for the next TRC installment, "the king's men" was the last book of the trilogy and it wasn't even the free one, so we settled for "the foxhole court" which was an empty tag. Even now my blog content is organized around "tfc" because of it, even though we took over all the relevant tags. A couple other mutuals I had from bellarke fandom got curious as well, and now we could consider ourselves a proper group. We were so starved for fan content that whatever you put out would be automatically reblogged and enthusiastically engaged with. It was a happy little fandom bubble. Then Nora noticed us and started interacting with us, and you got the birth of what would become the extra content page as she replied to our questions.

I possibly had a little bit too much time on my hands because I appointed myself as fandom archivist and tour guide. I reblogged every single post I saw in the tags, and I started a welcome page where I could keep track of everyone announcing they were reading the series. It was meant as a way to find mutuals to interact with since tumblr hadn't yet "canonized" all the tags, and it was entirely possible to lose each other in dashboard chains. I used to reply to everyone reading the series by "officially" welcoming them into the fandom, linking them the page where they could find mutuals, Nora's blog, and the extra content present up to that point. Oh and there was a fictional exy team where you could choose your position and then put it in your blog for fun or roleplay it. I also used smashword's gift system to buy the series for whoever said they couldn't pay for it, just to try and avoid pirating the book (good for word of mouth, bad for sales). This was on my side, but this fandom had so many people pouring their entire heart out I still get emotional thinking about it.

Everyone (before January 2016) made as much content as they could, be it meta, fanart, fanfics, headcanons, edits, wikia pages etc. We had fandom challenges where we pronounced the names of the characters and aftg keywords with our native accent, others where we said our favorite scene. Every headcanon was the first headcanon ever seen in the fandom. The fun thing was that at the time there was a strong etiquette toward "if you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything" so fan content really went in all directions with basically no limits. We tagged for triggers and that was it, we had free reign. For those who were around at the time, the sin squad was a group of us fans churning out the saddest/filthiest/fluffiest/most problematic content we could think of.

Then we reached January 2016. We were around 300 in the fandom at that point (I know because I counted them, literally), it had been slow but constant growth where each new fan brought at least other two people with them, and we had around 20 posts per day in the main tag. Then someone bridged the gap between us and the TRC fandom. If you ask me how the fandom got really popular, that's it. The TRC fandom was stuck in hiatus waiting for The Raven King, and now you had 300 rabid foxes spamming aftg content on tumblr, using trk as tag, too. Popular fanartists that were active in that fandom helped making aftg known, and semi viral posts did the rest. We went from 300 to 700 people in a couple of months, and shortly after I had to stop adding people to the welcome page because the post broke. I didn't even know that could happen. It wasn't long after that we were featured in the tumblr end of year recap for book ships. We were so many it was suddenly possible to meet in real life! Cosplays, tattoos, merch. You name it, someone in the fandom did it.

But how did it feel when we were only 20 people and a cardboard dog cutout? It felt like the most chaotic book club ever, and every new fan was automatically a friend. Nostalgia is a lying bitch, but I really don't think I'm making shit up here. We had fun and made great memories.

By the way, if you want to see how things were in 2015, you can! Just go through my archive starting from July 2015 (I think 17th) and onward. You can also search my blog for the tags "fandom history" and "started from nothing and now we're here", whereas here you can find a list of aftg fandom tags I used.

Tl;dr We were starving for good content, we wanted to have fun together, and we were lucky enough to half-hijack a bigger fandom in hiatus. That was all the marketing AFTG needed on tumblr.

[detailtilted]

In Search of Supernatural Fans from the Early Years

Hi! I’m looking for the legends who originally recorded old Supernatural convention panels featuring Jared or Jensen, or possibly Misha. See "What I'm Looking For" below. If you know one of them, or if you're a member of a community with people who were in the fandom in those early years, I’d greatly appreciate it if you could let them know about this post. I can be reached at DetailTilted@gmail.com or here on Tumblr.

If you aren’t familiar with my project, see the “Project Background” section below. This is not a low-effort exercise to merely repackage old videos. I’m putting many hours of work into each video to improve their watchability and accessibility. I will always credit my sources unless you wish to remain anonymous.

Even if your videos are on YouTube, I’m likely to have more success upscaling them if I can get the original video files. Thanks to the videos AgtSpooky kindly sent me, I've learned how big of a difference it can make when I have the original files to work with. That's why I’m putting more effort into finding those elusive original video takers.

The problem is that they all seem to have fallen off the face of the earth. Most of their YouTube accounts, LiveJournal accounts, and whatever other accounts I’ve dug up haven’t had any activity in 10-15 years. I’ve left a few messages on some of them, but I doubt they’ll be seen on dormant accounts. I’ve also gone down some crazy and twisted Googling paths trying to find current contact info for them, but without much success. In one case I even messaged the wrong person, who was at least kind enough to reply to the psycho asking for videos to let me know she wasn't the person I'd hoped she was. Oops!

What I’m Looking For

I’ve already finished CHICON 2007, Comic-Con 2008, and CHICON 2008, so I don’t need videos from those events, but I’d be happy to try to upscale your videos for your own collection if you have some you'd like to send me.

Actually, I could use CHICON 2008 Breakfast videos if you have any. I plan to attempt to redo that video either late this year or early next year.

I’ve been trying especially hard to reach people with original video files from either LA 2009 or Asylum 3 (2009), and I’d also be ecstatic to get some from LA 2008.

Any other old con videos you’re willing to share that have Jared or Jensen in them would be awesome. I hope to get to all the old conventions eventually. I haven’t yet defined “old”, so I don’t have a specific cutoff point.

Even if you just have audio files without video, those could be helpful too.

Length doesn't matter. Both long and short videos are welcome. Maybe I won't end up using them all, but the more options I have the better. Even if I don't put your video in my final edit, it would still be used because I always listen to every single video I can find when I'm finalizing my subtitles. Each video sounds at least a little different, and sometimes just hearing the audio in a slightly different way lets me catch a subtitle I'd missed or misheard.

Also, just to be clear, it isn’t necessarily my intent to exclude Misha. I’ve watched and enjoyed many of his convention videos and I liked Castiel for the most part, especially in the earlier seasons. I’m just not obsessed with Misha like I am with Jared and Jensen, and these videos do take quite a lot of work, so I’ve been putting my energy where my greatest interests lie. I’ll absolutely be including him when he’s in panels with Jared and/or Jensen, and in the future I may consider doing some of his solo panels.

So if you have original video files of Misha's solo panels that you’d like to send me, I’d be happy to add them to my stockpile for future possible use. If your videos turn out to be mostly complete, and if they upscale easily, then I might go ahead and do his panel at the same time I do the other panels from the same convention. If they'll take more effort to work with, I’ll probably skip them for now, but I may come back and tackle them if/when I run out of old Jared and Jensen videos to work with.

For any con videos you send me, regardless of whether I use them or not, I’d be happy to try to upscale them and send them back to you for your collection. I can’t always get things to upscale, so I can’t promise success, but I’ll definitely try.

Project Background - Enhanced Edition Con Videos

You can find my videos on my YouTube channel. (If you're already familiar with my project, skip to the next section -- there's nothing new to see here.)

I started this project in December 2023 to enhance old convention videos. My goal is to make them easier on the eyes and more accessible to both new and old fans from around the world. The videos on YouTube from that time can be difficult both to watch and to understand due to a combination of the older technology used to record them, the difficult recording conditions the fans were working with, and the lack of subtitles that make any sense.

I’m enhancing the videos as follows:

Visual Improvements: I’m upscaling the videos if possible, making color corrections if needed, and adding some slight stabilization to reduce the jitteriness. The end result is far from perfect because there’s only so much that current technology can do, but it's noticeably improved if you compare it to the originals.

Subtitles: I’m adding good, color-coded, English subtitles that can be turned on or off through YouTube’s CC button. The color-coding makes it more clear who's saying what when multiple people are speaking, and YouTube can auto-translate them into other languages to improve the accessibility.

Multiple Sources: If one video has gaps in it, then I'll try to find another that I can edit in to fill those gaps so the end result is as complete as possible. If I have more than one source that captured the same portion of the event, then I'll cut to whichever video I think had the best view of the action. In a few cases I’ve added a split screen with two different videos showing simultaneously so we can see action that's taking place in two separate areas. For example, when Jared and Jensen are on opposite sides of the stage. (There were also the infernal talking head bubbles on my Comic-Con 2008 video which nearly made me throw in the towel, but taught me a lot. 😅)

Extra Content for Context: These older videos don’t take up the full width of a modern video frame, so I’ve taken advantage of the extra space to display some still images with text to add extra context for many of the things they discuss. Some things are a lot funnier, or at least a lot more relevant, when you know exactly what they’re talking about. I clarify Supernatural episode references and pop culture references among other things. Sometimes I’ve also inserted short video clips, usually just a few seconds’ worth, if I thought it would add worthwhile clarity or entertainment to the topic at hand.

Current Project Status

If anyone has been wondering how I’m doing on my current video and what’s next… I’m almost done with the last video from CHICON 2008, which was Jensen’s solo panel. I should be ready to publish it on YouTube this Friday, May 24. I plan to use the same schedule as last time and put the Tumblr post up the following Tuesday when it’s a little more likely to be noticed here.

The next sequential conventions are LA 2009 and Asylum 2009, but I haven’t had much success in my attempts to upscale the available videos. If I were to work with what I have now, I know I could turn out something better than what’s on YouTube today, but the end result wouldn’t be nearly as good as what I might be able to achieve if I can get some original videos to work with. So I think it’s more logical to skip over these conventions for now and give it some time to see if I get any responses, in hope of a better end result.

I do intend to come back to the skipped conventions eventually, even if nobody sends me anything. Once I run out of conventions for which I can upscale the videos, if I still don't have anything better to work with for the ones I skipped, I’ll just do the best I can with what’s available. Even if I can't upscale, I can still do color corrections and stabilization, plus the subtitles and extra content. Some of these panels are split up into a bunch of very short videos, so it would also add value if I can combine them into something more sequential and cohesive. (I found 130 videos from the Jared and/or Jensen panels at LA 2009, and most of them were under 2 minutes long. 🤣) I don’t know if there’s enough footage to cover the entire panels seamlessly, but I’m itching to get my hands on that jigsaw puzzle of videos to try to make sense out of them.

So… the next videos I intend to work on will be from Vancouver 2009. This is one of the conventions that AgtSpooky attended and sent me videos for and they upscaled very well. Her breakfast video had already found its way onto YouTube, but wasn't properly credited. Her main panel videos aren't on YouTube as far as I could find, so that version may be new to newer fans. I'm only just starting to play around with upscaling the other sources out there, but my first attempt at the other main Breakfast source came out well. Both breakfast videos were taken from extreme opposite angles, so that should provide some useful editing opportunities. I’d still love to get more videos of this event if anyone has them.

If you made it this far, I am in awe. Sorry for putting this wall of text on your screen! 😅

[maxdibert]

can i vent here?

i wanna scream every time marauders stans pulling snape-creepy-obsessive-stalker narrative (ugh but he’s not the one with a tracking map and invisible cloak, is he?)

or

when regulus stans(that are also anti snape) listing reasons why they like his character in canon discussions, and they just…describing canon snape???(i guess fanon too impactful for them huh)

istg they were not this bad before, i have a theory that the shift on the behaviour of these stans is marked by the existence of ⏰app and *redacted* fic

This obsession with Regulus has really caught me by surprise because I’ve been out of the fandom for a few years, and when I first got into it back in the days of Fanfiction.net and LiveJournal, he wasn’t a character anyone really paid attention to, or at least if they did, they portrayed him as a sort of 70s Draco Malfoy and that was about it. The fact that he’s now being treated as a victim of abuse and mistreatment who had no choice but to join the Death Eaters is laughable to me because it’s well-established in canon (Sirius himself says it) that his brother always followed the family’s rules and was actually Walburga’s favorite because of it. (Though I’ve always thought that if Walburga had so much contempt for her eldest son, it wasn’t just about politics, but because Sirius and she had very similar personalities: both were uncontrollable and insufferable, and she couldn’t stand seeing herself reflected in someone who despised everything she valued. And that Regulus probably had a calmer, more malleable, less confrontational character like his father. But anyway.)

Regulus is no martyr. Regulus was a young aristocrat completely aligned with his social class and its prevailing ideas, just like Draco or many of the Slytherins who were Death Eater children during Harry’s time. I’ve always seen Regulus as similar to Narcissa (in contrast to Sirius, who’s like Bellatrix) with pride in his surname and bloodline, with the belief that being who they are makes them superior to others, and with the firm conviction that those beneath them are worth much less or nothing at all. And, like Narcissa, I don’t see him as sadistic, just someone who joined what he joined feeling quite sure of himself but then got scared when things got out of hand. It’s something that happens to many people who join far-right groups, completely convinced of what they’re seeking, but then back down when they come face-to-face with extreme violence. But to project him as some poor victim… Please. Not only is it incoherent and a betrayal of canon, but it also takes away all the character’s depth. You’re stripping away the tragedy of his regret. You’re robbing him of the chance to become disillusioned with what happened and rebel against it. It’s a mess.

I’m convinced that the new Marauders fans simply hate Snape because: 1) he’s the living, canonical representation that their favorite characters were bullies and abusers, and it completely destroys the narrative they’ve created of the idyllic, super-progressive group of friends; 2) because they’re classist jerks who prefer to fangirl over the cool rich kids with money and status who are on the dark side, essentially turning it into some kind of magical Gossip Girl; and 3) because he’s not canonically attractive, and therefore they can’t make aesthetic TikTok videos with him. It’s such a superficial and absurd perspective, much like treating as canon a bunch of characters whose personalities, relationships, and stories don’t exist in the books because for most of them, we only know their names. But hey, fans like this have just enough brain cells to not crap themselves, so…

[swan2swan]

I know you said the sources are unofficial but can you please let me know what they are?—the ones that suggest Mai may have helped Zuko in the aftermath of their mother's disappearance?

Oh, you mean when Ursa disappeared while Zuko was a kid?

This is old Forum Talk. Back in the day, when Livejournal thrived and there were individual message boards devoted to topics, you sometimes got little fandom discussions. Sometimes, you'd have people who talked to writers and crew members, whether in person or on message boards.

Also, you had some freelance or part-time writers who would be fans of the show would then be pulled into supplementary work. One of them was Alison Wilgus (writer on Kids Next Door, also, please don't go bothering her, this was ages ago, just trust me), and she helped co-write some of the comics for the Avatar magazine between Book 2 and 3.

The word is that there was a black, heart-shaped stone that Mai gave Zuko when he was feeling down (obviously, we can assume that it was probably when his mom vanished). He was supposed to reveal that he'd held onto it the whole time he was banished-- a cute little keepsake.

This was probably just a draft for the "Going Home Again" comic, and thus has no True Canon Power; something from supplemental information that Aaron provided, or that they brainstormed in a writer's room. They just wanted some way to show that Zuko was always thinking of Mai. But it probably became too difficult to justify him still having it after his whole ship blew up (IT WOULD RULE IF HE'D FOUND IT IN THE WRECKAGE THOUGH) and him going through all of his adventures...and it was just easier to have her play with Jin and express herself verbally.

Bottom line: it's a concept that could be canonized at any time, burt also may just be in the scrap heap with all sorts of things like Equalist Asami and....didn't someone have a sibling or something? Guy Toph, I guess, though that's more extreme.

Again, don't hunt 'em down or bother them. You've just gotta have some faith in me as a Fandom Elder. This is part of the writing process, part of fandom growth. Feel free to use it as fuel, though! Fanart. Fafic. Whatever you want. But overall, it's probably just deleted material that was considered to show connections and just couldn't be organically worked in. Would have added some weight to the end of the Boiling Rock episodes if we'd seen Zuko holding it--showing that he took it with him. But they kinda did a little too much ZK ship-baiting and leaned away from the Maiko melodrama (and I do think it was a little to the story's detriment, but that's My Opinion). This is all just part of the writing process, though...you've gotta find things to streamline.

It's also just easy to assume that Mai probably got closer to Zuko after Ursa's disappearance. Whether through hugs and comfort or just bullying him a little harder to keep his mind off things. Becoming a proper Nemesis. Who knows?

And that's just what I picked up. For all I know, there was a whole deleted plotline where Mai and Zuko fell down a hole or something. Did a Fire Nation Goonies. Again. That's writing. You gotta come up with Stuff and sometimes the Stuff doesn't Stick. Asami was supposed to hook up with Iroh Jr. in early drafts. Things change. Have fun. Life's short.

[meta-squash]

Torchwood Fic Recs

Here's a bunch of fic recommendations for excellent Torchwood fics that I've had bookmarked. Many of these are from the old days of Torchwood fandom and never got transferred to ao3, so there are quite a few livejournal links and a few wayback machine links. Anything that I had bookmarked on lj that got transferred to ao3, I'll link the ao3. I may put my own notes/descriptions in brackets after the fic summary.

Proof Of Your Existence by sarcasticchick - Can you offer me proof of your existence? How can you? When neither modern science nor philosophy can explain what life is. [In which Ianto is more than what he seems.]

What Lies Within by xtricks - Ianto becomes contaminated with an alien. Jack will do whatever he can to hold onto him, even as he changes. [Link goes to the last chapter, which has all the others linked. TW: tentacle sex, which is partly metaphorical and partly literal.]

Conversational Japanese, Plus Frogs by james - Tosh and Ianto have been taken prisoner. They cope.

PTSD: Post Torchwood Stress Disorder by waldo - It's been two and a half years since Canary Wharf. It's been a year since Lisa. And Jack is just now realizing what the real toll has all been on Ianto and the other survivors of Torchwood One. Now he needs to fix a big thing done badly before anyone else dies.

Notebird by cyus - A note points to nowhere and a bird comes from nowhere, and Torchwood, in the wake of their teammates’ deaths, finds that some experiences shatter things into pieces too small to be fit back together.

Second Look by remindmeofthe- Sometimes, you get a chance to see the past through a different pair of eyes: your own.

The Cartography Of Feeling by sholio - "We're sodding gladiators," Owen said. "Fuck this entire day and Jack Harkness too." (Or: Owen and Ianto are abducted by aliens and forced to arena-fight. But the worst part might be the control device that connects them in an emotion and pain-sharing bond.)

Forget, Survive, Repeat by d8rkmessngr - He came to Torchwood, to Jack, for Lisa. But now she's gone and Ianto isn't sure what there is he has left. Post "Cyberwoman".

I Had No Idea I Had Been Travelling by kalichan & rm - It's not how you die; it's how you live, especially when your life is built of stories. And in the end, all lives are. [This fic is incredibly long, but it is absolutely beautiful, and most of the segments can be read individually. I'm of the opinion that everyone should read this fic. It's the Torchwood fic I continued to think about for years even when I was focusing on other fandoms.]

Hourglass by lazuli - Death is not the only form of loss. Torchwood grieves the loss of Owen and Tosh, and something strange is wrong with Jack. [Link goes to wayback machine, but all chapter links work.]

The Cricket And The Bird by solsticezero - On the nature of immortality and the longevity of birds.

Like The Wind by clarrisani- Sometimes all you can do is run. [Mild Owen/Ianto, leaning closer to friendship.]

More Richer Than My Tongue by sanginmychains - Ianto needs to get some space after the events of Cyberwoman. Jack comes along. They get rained on, and discuss their relationship.

Got That Friday Feeling Again by NancyBrown - HELP HELP HELP HELP I AM TRAPPED IN A TIME BUBBLE The magic marker all over the nice chintz wallpaper bled and smeared as Owen wrote in increasingly desperate lettering across the walls. Ls and Ps dragged down, wiggly at the end or drawn out in slashed strokes.

I Am Not My Own by methylethyl - "Torchwood's disability pay is about this big--" Ianto held up his thumb and index finger, about two centimeters apart. "--and comes out of a gun at a thousand meters per second."

Disinterred by seize - "What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets." Ianto makes a discovery, and learns there are things he probably doesn't want to know. He asks anyway. [TW: torture.]

Frames Of Reference by echo - There's a difference between 'mostly alive' and 'mostly dead'. Sometime it's just hard to remember which one is which, especially when you get right down to the details.

Do Not Go Gentle by mcparrot - Reeling from the deaths of Owen and Tosh, Gwen and Ianto watch helplessly as Jack acts erratically. They assume it's just his way of mourning - until he disappears.

Tea And Sympathy by osprey_archer - Soon after Jack's disappearance, Owen takes sick. Ianto goes to check on him. [Some wonderfully unhinged Owen/Ianto fic]

Before You Know It by yuma - In all honesty, he should have been expecting it. He was there when boys, not yet men, suffered what was first called shell-shock, then combat fatigue, to the neatly packaged politically correct acronym.

Sweet, Delicious Despair by marchling - A group of strange suicides comes Torchwood's way when the police can't figure out why happy people with everything to live for are suddenly taking their own lives for seemingly no reason. The team is on the case, but there are no leads… Until one of their own is threatened. [TW: Suicide]

The Subject Of Mourning by jesuisgourde - Gwen had said Those poor girls. But both were dead, victims of Torchwood, of circumstance, of the most destructive kind of loyalty and love. Owen could only think Poor Ianto. The dead were dead. The living had to keep living with the pain. Owen and Ianto in the immediate aftermath of Cyberwoman.

In Your Image by blackbird_song - Jack and Ianto sitting in a tree: Torchwood-style.

Object Permanence by solsticezero - After the events of Exit Wounds, Ianto is left with lingering anxieties about the safety of the people he loves.

[a brief interlude for paperclipbitch fics. she's been my favourite torchwood writer since the early days. please read all of her stuff.]

If You Pass Go, Do Not Collect £200 by paperclipbitch - Ianto is sent to rescue Owen from 19th Century London, but he’s less than impressed by what Owen has been doing to survive.

Untitled Series 2 AU by paperclipbitch - “Come on,” Ianto sighs, and Owen falls into his side like he's just been waiting for the invitation. [Owen/Ianto]

Clinging To The Wreckage Until I Got The Message by paperclipbitch - “You need something other than this in your life, Owen,” Ianto murmurs. [Owen/Ianto]

People That I Wasn't by paperclipbitch - Jack and Ianto have to deal with death in all sorts of ways.

Hamartia by paperclipbitch - “Don’t you start,” Owen snaps, turning on him. Ianto doesn’t even bother to look up from where he’s inspecting his fingernails. “Going to hit me again?” he asks lightly. [Owen/Ianto]

It Will Bleed You Dry by paperclipbitch - Europe is dying. But Jack refuses to let his team go.

Like There's A Part Of Me That I Want To Get Back Again by paperclipbitch - Ianto Jones, in his crisp pinstripe suit, the remains of a black eye still mildew-green on his face, frowns a little at Owen Harper and says: “Have we met before?” [Owen/Ianto]

No Sense Of Direction by paperclipbitch - After Gwen finally leaves Owen, Ianto is left to try and pick up the pieces. [Owen/Ianto. Link goes to the last chapter of the series, which has links to the previous chapters]

Beautiful Lies by remuslives23 - "Truth is beautiful, without a doubt; but so are lies." Ianto and Jack after the events of the Lost Souls radio play.

Shooting The Messenger by salmon-pink - Jack gives the orders, Ianto obeys, and Owen thinks that maybe everyone has lost their minds, himself included. [Owen/Ianto PWP]

All The Stars In The Sky by lasersforeyes - Sometime after the end of Jack's world, he meets meets someone familiar in an unfamiliar place, and realizes that somehow, things just keep going.

The Dominant Line Between Life And Death by ladyflowdi - In the space of a heartbeat, between the rhythmic pulse of life itself, Ianto’s world is split in two. There is only the Before and the After, the Once Was and Is Now, as if someone has cut him right down the middle, a perfect sagittal seam that has equal parts guts, eyes, and heart. He is coexisting with himself, and the other Ianto won’t stop screaming.

Passing Currents by feathereddino - Gwen assists with clean-up after a case is finished. [This fic is pretty Gwen-bashy/old school fic Gwen characterisation, but the rest of the concept and other characterisations are so fun and spot on that I want to rec it.]

No Word For Yes by copperbadge - Someday he will have a Jack-to-English dictionary. Though it will contain more than just the words, he supposes. And be unsuitable for children.

Life Lived Without Thinking by pocketmouse - While exploring the lower levels, Ianto steps through a doorway, and disappears into blackness. [Owen/Ianto, ish]

Roses In December by remuslives23 - Memories of better times assailed him, snippets of his life ticking over in his mind like flashes of scenes from a film, faster and faster until he couldn't breathe then the floodgates flew open, and he couldn't stop the crippling pain from bending him in two.

Management Of Dead Bodies In Disaster Situations: A Field Manual by heddychaa - Darragh Edmonds is a so-called "disaster specialist". Called to the site of tsunamis, earth quakes, floods, terrorist attacks, he takes up the grim task of putting order to human remains, and he does it well. Cleaning up after a biological attack on Thames House should make for a comparatively easy day for Darragh: after all, the bodies of Thames House have even been so considerate as to pile themselves right at the front door for him. That is, until he's sworn to secrecy and sent, alone, to collect two bodies from the building's eerie top floor.

Confluence by cmdr_spadge - Once Lisa is dead, it's Owen who decides what to do with Ianto.

Interstitial by sholio - They jostled around each other for a while, bouncing off each other's sharp and broken edges—and then they started to fit, like puzzle pieces that couldn't click together until they found just the right angle. [Owen/Ianto]

do not go gentle by someawkwardprose - His hands were shaking. Lisa was dead. They’d killed her, the whole bloody team, and he hated them. Lisa was dead, and he wasn’t.

Simile by echo - After being trapped, beaten, terrified, and deprived of sleep, Ianto is desperate to get away from the activity surrounding the village. Unfortunately, with a concussion and any number of unknown injuries, that's not really a good idea.

Separated by AuthorInDistress - When the Toclafane attack during the 'Year That Never Was', Owen and Ianto survive that hell together.

C12H22O11 by Jane St Claire - Sometimes things turn up right in the Hub. It's a big time-saver. [A creature falls through the rift. It might be more than what it seems.]

Writing The Truth In Blue by pecos - The glimpse of a pink dress shirt in the rubbish skip was enough tweak Jack’s curiosity. What he eventually found led him to realize what he was about to lose forever.

I also have a number of old deleted classics saved, stuff by rcmclachlan (I just have From Which Come All Things, which is the important one imo), rexluscus, and lawford, and a few others, so if you're an old fan and want those, dm me!

[safaiagem]

Ten Years Gone - Series Masterpost

I'm not usually one to write well outside of canon. Usually, I'll go with canon divergence or something like that, but the Ten Years Gone series is probably the biggest exception to that rule. I saw a tumblr post about a Supernatural AU that got stuck in my head, I signed up for the Teen Wolf Big Bang after that fandom sucked me in, and it was all downhill from there. To this day, (Take Away This) Ball and Chain, the first in the series, is one of my highest in terms of kudos and hits. Parts one through six were written between late 2012 to late 2013. I returned in 2016 for part seven because I always had vague ideas for two more entries, and as part of my 2020 pandemic writing spree, I finally finished the final entry in the series. This is one the rare series marked as "completed" and I don't plan on changing it. The fics range from PG-13/T for Teens to R/M for Mature and vary in length from 25k+ multi-chapter fics to one-shots that are only a couple thousand words long. It spans eight total works and a total word count of 144,420. Links and details about the stories are below.

"I'm never gonna leave you I never gonna leave Holdin' on, ten years gone Ten years gone, holdin' on, ten years gone Ten years gone, holdin' on" Ten Years Gone Song by Led Zeppelin

(Take Away This) Ball and Chain AO3 and Livejournal Words: 42,847 Rating: M When Derek Hale was sixteen years old, he lost everything he loved in the fire. Desperate for his family, he tried to make a deal with a crossroads demon named Stiles. Stiles turned him down, and Derek reluctantly tried to move on with his life. Six years later, Derek is a hunter, and when he receives word that Stiles might have known more about the fire than he let on that night, Derek decides to hunt him down. What he finds when he finally captures Stiles is not what he expects, and the two of them might have a common enemy.

The Pit AO3 and Livejournal Words: 6,426 Rating: M Summary: Stiles had suffered The Pit a second time for Derek, but the memories still lingered far too close to the surface. Getting holy water thrown in his face didn't really help, either.

Turn It Up To Eleven AO3 and Livejournal Words: 18,117 Rating: M Summary: For the six years following the death of his family, Derek was a hunter who was a monster that hunted monsters, but now he has a partner. Stiles is a demon, and after they took care of a mutual enemy, now they work flawlessly together. They are partners that hunt, trust each other, and happen to sleep together on the side. Now, they are stuck in a fantasy world where everything is amplified. As Derek and Stiles try to find a way back, they struggle with doubt about which world is real. And what feelings are real.

Spare Me The Details AO3 and Livejournal Words: 3,635 Rating: T Summary: Laura did not consider herself a normal alpha.

Toxic AO3 and Livejournal Words: 2,417 Rating: T Summary: Lydia didn't have to explain herself to anyone; she was the King of the Crossroads, and she wasn't about to start now.

Innocence In Being Human AO3 and Livejournal Words: 27,737 Rating: M Summary: Seven years after the death of his family, Derek Hale is a hunter who returns to Beacon Hills for the first time. Stiles, his partner and possibly more, is a demon that seems to be doing everything in his power to get them to leave as soon as possible. People are dying from attacks, though, and Derek can't just walk away from that. When one such attack hits too close to home, Derek knows he'll see this through to the end. While searching for information, Derek and Stiles get caught in a trap that taps into strong magic that turns them both into humans. Now stripped of any power, Derek and Stiles struggle to fight against something much stronger than them, whose end goal might be more sinister than they originally thought.

That Silver Shell We Call The Moon AO3 and Livejournal Words: 9,402 Rating: M Summary: For the majority of her life, Allison Argent had been hunting.

Rebirth Is Born of Neither Flesh nor Blood AO3 and Livejournal Words: 33,659 Rating: M Summary: Following the incident in Beacon Hills, Derek Hale has started traveling with his sister and with Stiles, even though they don't get along that great. His instincts and Laura's are a little messed up after nearly losing each other. They are planning on going on some hunts as a group until things settle down, but Stiles seems uneasy but won't say about what. Stiles is a demon; he often keeps things to himself, but as they move further north along the western coast, Derek begins to get the impression that they are heading into something that could be their biggest test so far.

[mollyringle]

Laughter in LOTR

My household has been rewatching the Extended Editions of The Lord of the Rings, and this has inspired me to excavate some of the LiveJournal (!) posts I wrote twenty (!!) years ago. In this one, I ran a search on all the times laughter is mentioned in the books, and listed them. It’s a long list—view the link only if you dare. My shorter sum-up is pasted below, however. The grim/bitter/nervous laughter section intrigues me now: I’d forgotten about Galadriel laughing upon being offered the Ring, or Pippin laughing about the palantír. Those moments were definitely not in the films!

Analysis from 2004:

I'd say we have at least three varieties of laughter: the genuinely happy, the grim/bitter/nervous, and the disturbing/evil.

The Genuinely Happy variety is what the hobbits do most of the time. It's also what the other good guys do when in the company of friends, old or new, when they are not currently under active attack from Mordor. Bombadil, the Elves, and the Ents engage in a lot of Genuinely Happy laughter, being pretty much without a care in the world. Gandalf engages in a lot of it too--and surprisingly so does Aragorn--despite both of them having plenty of cares. The sweetest and most touching instances of the Genuinely Happy laughter, in my opinion, are moments between Frodo and Sam: when Sam somehow makes Frodo laugh on the quest (e.g., see that passage about Samwise the Stout-hearted). Indeed, these tend to be the only times Frodo laughs on the quest, and it's good to see that they're genuine laughs and not laughs of our next variety.

The Grim/Bitter/Nervous/Ironic laughter encompasses those moments like Eowyn's laugh on the Pelennor Fields when she takes off her helmet, or Sam wondering what kind of spider made cobwebs like these. I would also count here the laughs I'm not sure what to make of. For instance, Galadriel laughing when Frodo offers her the One Ring? Is this really a funny moment to her? Maybe, but only if you consider it shocked/nervous laughter. Or Pippin laughing after the Palantir episode, saying he wants Gandalf to tell him everything there is to know. I can't imagine Pippin laughing at all that night, after getting psychologically knifed by Sauron, but if he did I suppose it would be to relieve the tension. We could probably put Gollum's cackling in this column too, since it comes of being mentally unstable. Ditto for Denethor and sometimes Saruman, though they're shading into the third category.

The Evil laughter is yet another beast. We find it in places where the movie also had it: Saruman, Orcs, Ringwraiths, and other evil creatures tend to laugh when contemplating the helplessness of their good-guy victims. That's standard fare for this type of tale. But Tolkien also includes laughter the characters fancy they hear in the wind howling off Caradhras, or in the depths of Moria, or from the roots of a nasty willow tree. Those instances are the laughter of the haunted house, the laughter we don't want to hear at night. Cruelest of all may be the Mouth of Sauron, who seemingly can't stop laughing when telling Frodo's friends that Mordor has caught him and the quest has failed and he'll likely die a painful death.

I think I've babbled enough now. You can easily compare it to the films, since we've all got the films memorized. One addition comes to mind that wasn't in the books: "It's the beards." Other things in the film were funny, but only the audience laughed; not the characters. ("In fact, it's better if you don't speak at all, Peregrin Took.")

Feel free to discuss.

[aziraphales-library]

Lost Fic #170

1. Hello! This is probably a bit vague so I apologise for that, but I've had a fic scene stuck I my head for some time and can't find the fic where I read it. I remember that Crowley and Aziraphale were in the Bentley, Crowley was speeding as usual, and either the Bentley was playing or Crowley was singing lyrics from "There Is a Light That Never Goes Out" by The Smiths. Specifically the part about the double-decker bus. I think part of the song were also spread across the fic to match the mood/scene, but I'm not 100% sure. I'm also mostly sure I read it before the pandemic, so it's should be from before February 2020, if that helps. Again, sorry if it's a vague request! - @dumpster-connoisseur

2. Hello, I'm hoping you can help me find a fic I thought I had bookmarked? I believe it was posted on LiveJournal or a similar site, definitely not Ao3. Post the book/season 1, A&C just started a relationship, they're both asexual. A succubus impersonates Aziraphale to trap Crowley in a demon trap and then goes to Aziraphale pretending to be Crowley to try to sleep with him and suck out his life force. Aziraphale drops a piano on him when he realizes it's not Crowley. Y'all are amazing, tysm! - @idontremembershippingthis

3. Hi! I'm looking for a fic I read some years ago, it was definitely after season 1, not book canon. It was rather mature or explicit. This fic followed Crowley throught the ages and how he wasn't able to lose his virginity, sometimes he even had a mission from Hell and Aziraphale had already sleep with that person in order to help Heaven. We get closer to our timeline and Crowley meets a guy he likes and thinks this would be the time but I think his father had an accident and Crowley did the right thing and let him go to the hospital. I think there were some miracles involved, I'm not sure. Aziraphale finds out about this and lovemaking happens. - anon

4. hello! i need help, please. do you, perhaps, know the ao3 fanfic where everyone was trying to set up aziraphale and crowley, many things happen, they get locked in some room with a window so everyone can snoop on them, crowley turns into a snake because he doesn't want to talk about their relationship, all to know that they were already together by that time and they wanted to make a little jokey joke to their friends so they acted like they still had unresolved tension with each other. thanks! - anon

5. hello! been thinking about an outsider pov fic, and i just cant find it. its from the perspective of some people on some sort of paranormal investigation website who all take it way too seriously looking into the bookshop. one scene from it i remember quite vividly is a lady going in with a bible, saying prayers as she walked around and sprinkling holy water everywhere with her just narrowly missing hitting crowley with it. she is promptly kicked out. id be very glad if you knew its name - anon

If you know any of these fics please include the number in your reply! Thank you :)

- Mod D

[duckprintspress]

Roundtable: Tips for Podficcing

Press author and editor Shea Sullivan is looking to begin podficcing, so she asked the Duck Prints Press server for advice from those with experience. Several members of DPP have done podficcing in the past, so we were able to provide some guidance – and we thought, if Shea was interested, others might be interested too! Hence, we turned our chat into a roundtable blog post, with permission from everyone involved of course.

(Side note, we’re working with some press-involved folks who have experience in narration and podficcing to record audiobooks of some of our stores – we’re hoping to unroll the first couple to our Patreon backers soon – so be on the lookout!)

boneturtle: I’ll always recommend Audacity (https://www.audacityteam.org/) for recording and editing because it’s free, dead simple, and produces high-level results

Shannon: Audacity is very straightforward so seconding that! I made some podfics on there. I’ve used GarageBand (https://garagebandonpc.com/download) too and I liked it a little better for multiple layered tracks, but that’s personal preference more than anything else.

Nina Waters: I used Audacity for mine, too

boneturtle: When I was recording podfics, I went into my closet and then pulled the heavy down blanket from my bed over the clothing rack and went under that like a tent to muffle any outside noise – you may not need to do that if you’re not recording in a big city but it definitely saved me so much heartache in editing.

Another thing that you probably already know is to record several seconds of silence before you start talking so you can use that as the baseline for the noise-reduction filter. And if you mess up and have to repeat something, give yourself an awkwardly long pause before you repeat the line so it’s easy to find the spot you have to cut and paste when editing.

Nina Waters: !hen I made a mistake, I’d tap the microphone, which meant when I looked at the audio there’d be a big spike wherever there was a mistake, also made it really easy to spot and cut.

Hermit: We turned the closet in the smallest room into a “cloffice” for my BF, and part of that was installing a lot of sound proofing. Doesn’t stop outside soumds, but kills the reverb and the panels we installed were cheap on amazon (we installed them using Command strips so we can take them down later if needed).

The long record before you start is super useful if you want to add “silence” too. Like “oh, I should have let this pregnant pause be longer.” You can copy from that baseline and add it where needed.

boneturtle: The main thing the silence helps with is giving you room around the mistake to trim and insert the audio you actually want, so even with a signal noise, I’d still do a few seconds of silence before restarting

Hermit: Good headphones will let you properly hear interference and random noises

Obviously, this roundtable alone won’t be enough to get you started making your own podfic, as we don’t get into the nuts-and-bolts of every aspect of the process. If you want to learn more about podficcing, here are some resources:

AO3 bookmark collection of 23 guides to podficcing by Dr_Fumbles_McStupid

Extensive podfic resource index by Ravin

A Beginner’s Guide to Making Podfic by EmilianaDarling (Tumblr)

More tips, tricks, and guides can be found on Tumblr, LiveJournal, and YouTube.

Good luck!

[prettyoddfever]

Tumblr glitched while I was trying to answer this, but thankfully I took a screenshot of everything before refreshing because I legit cannot find that draft or question anywhere now, sorry. So here we go again...

I'll link to the post here. (btw any annoyance that might seep into my tone in my recent answers is NOT directed at the actual people asking... y'all are lovely). So that post is done in a very similar tone to the Ryden primers that the pre-split fandom posted, but I'm getting the sense that this is very very different... like that person seems to actually believe the content that they're posting is straight up facts (and even if they don't, the fact that you're referring to it as "infamous" probably implies that other people are at least treating it as real facts, so I'm still going to address it like the tone is serious). Here's an explanation of how the majority of the fandom used to view Ryden.

A lot of their pictures no longer show up, so I'm going to leave a wayback screen recording here for reference:

I'll just comment as I go through it if I have something to add:

I suppose that the tone of someone's comments is open to interpretation, so idc as much about whether those are misread or not.

That supposed AIM convo was shared as a myspace bulletin by Brent's brother Blake during the summer 2006 season when he was trying to stir up shit and was busy posting other inaccurate info too. I'm just saying to take it with a grain of salt. 

Ryan’s lj post on 9/27/05 was about the release of AFYCSO that day. He talked a lot in interviews that season about how it was weird for him to see so many fans singing his lyrics back to him.

uhh most of the pictures that this person lists "from this era" of 2004/2005 are actually from 2006. so they definitely know what they're talking about here lol.

they list one of Ryan's livejournal posts and then say "I'm not sure of the exact date, but I know it was some time in 06." It was from June 24, 2006. 

lol Audrey.

re: the Myrtle Beach theory

why is the part where Ryan called Brendon a golden god in late 2006 any different than when Brendon said this about Spencer that same season?

re: the 2006 mic-sharing & stage gay

fans would positively scream when Ryan & Brendon approached each other, especially in the last half of 2006. this moment in Munich in October 2006 seemed no different... the guys absolutely knew what they were doing.

the VMA performance just seemed like Ryan was still using Brendon as a safe space to look at so he wouldn't stare at his feet or guitar, but that is still very much something you could turn into a Ryden thing so carry on haha.

about the Rolling Stone interview

I'm laughing at the "squint a little harder" comment about finding Ryden content in 2008. That is so accurate. 

re: Dylan's myspace (yes, Keltie ran a myspace for Hobo that anyone could grab pics from).

Ryan absolutely sounds like he's saying dude... also that would be normal.

the picture of the bracelet is normal

I'm just going to link to this post since it addresses many similar inaccurate points about early 2009.

I was about to side eye them so hard for posting the Lana Jade letter as real, but at least they added that she made multiple posts explaining that it wasn't her. And yes, obviously Brendon's best friend was Shane (not Ryan).

omg Ryan's tattoos are not about Brendon. Those are Tom Waits lyrics. Ryan was good friends with Thomas Dutton. About a year before getting the tattoos, Ryan was hanging out with him on tour in the UK and later told Kerrang that “a friend of mine in Forgive Durden turned me on to Tom Waits when we were in the UK… I’ve been listening to him ever since. His voice is so rough and dark. I’d never really heard anything like that.”

the sharing beds idea was misunderstood in the Billboard interview... all 4 guys slept on bunkbeds in the same room when they were recording AFYCSO. That's what Brendon's referring to.

re: the Bishop Gorman tshirt… Ryan was hardly that size in high school. But Brent went to Bishop Gorman too (and so did Paulina, who was also friends with Brendon). Brendon did borrow some of Brent’s stuff in 2004/2005 (like money for food while they were first touring). Just saying… it's def interesting, but it’s not an automatic Ryden connection.

I didn't read Spencer's tone in that out.com interview the same way... there's some relevant bits in this post.

about the red shirt

here's my general tag for Ryden stuff

[x-on-the-calendar-business]

ryan ross iceberg (tier 2)

tier 1, tier 3, tier 4, tier 5, tier 6, tier 7, tier 8

the tip of the iceberg:

the young veins:

this is the band that ryan and jon started after they split from panic! it included a few other members, and often times ryan’s good friends z berg and alex greenwald (of phantom planet), who will be mentioned more later on. they only released one album in 2010, called take a vacation! they played some live shows, but at the end of that same year, they went on an indefinite hiatus. HOWEVER, they made an official instagram account and have been active this year!! it’s likely that it's because there will be vinyl repress (further supported by a comment jon left on their only post) but it’s super cool nonetheless [i].

this is a personal aside, but i honestly like this band more than anything panic! released post split, with the exception of new perspective and the calendar. like god this was such a good fucking band.

dottie, elwood, and hobo:

these were all ryan’s dogs.

hobo was the dog he got in 2006. however, when he and keltie (we will discuss her soon) broke up, she took her with her [ii].

dottie was a dog he got circa 2015.

elwood is the dog he got in 2017.

i’m not sure if ryan still has dottie and elwood since he has pretty much disappeared from the internet.

eta: i misspelled elwood's name as elmwood in the iceberg image. sorry about that!

z berg:

this is one of ryan’s exes and his bestie. they dated around 2009/2010. they still hang out today and he’s made appearances at these events she does called proms. she gives us the majority of ryan content that we’ve gotten in the past few years.

he featured on one of her songs, “the bad list,” and she featured of the young veins cover of “nothing matters but you.” she will come up more in other entries as well, which is why i'm not going super in depth here.

throam:

whew.

this is a ryden fic – probably the most iconic after the milk fic – called the heart rate of a mouse, written by anna green. it was originally posted on livejournal, and it’s LONG, coming in at 3 volumes and over 500k words.

the plot summary is that in the 1970s, ryan is the lead singer/guitarist of a famous band called the followers, and brendon is a roadie on their tour. brendon is openly gay, and ryan and brendon start hooking up, even though ryan is “straight.” from there, the series becomes 3 volumes of angst and pining. of course, there’s so much more that happens, but i won’t say too much for the sake of spoilers.

despite it being a ryden fic, it’s incredibly well written (if you’re able to get past the explicit smut), so i do recommend reading it at least once in your life. i’m gonna keep it 100, i’ve read this series at least 10 times with a yearly reread and have physical copies of it.

anna also wrote some ficlets to go along with it, such as one from brendon’s pov and just some extra stuff that didn’t end up in the final cut. she also wrote a lot of other iconic fics (all of which i also recommend), like the black rose season, how a resurrection really feels, posing in a ballroom, miguel sanchez’s grand slam of love, amongst many, many others. sadly, she purged her entire livejournal account, so you would have to turn to internet archives to read anything other than throam [iii].

unfortunately, this fic also reached the icon status that the milk fic did so multiple people from the bandom sphere know about it and have acknowledged it. for example, keltie, ryan’s ex-girlfriend, has read it and mentioned it on twitter multiple times (embarrassing for her but whatever) [iv]. jon tweeted about it once [v]. also, i swear that vicky t from cobra starship mentioned it (i wanna say it was on instagram, but i could be wrong); however, i can’t find the comment she made anymore.

link to throam for those who are curious

jac and keltie:

these are two of ryan’s exes from the panic! days.

jac vanek was a scene queen in the early 2000s, and they dated from november 2005 until feburary 2006 [vi]. it was a pretty cringey teenage relationship that was overly (grossly) chronicled on livejournal, and if you’re interested to read more, there will be a link in a later tier.

an interesting tidbit is that while ryan was dating jac, brendon was dating another scene queen named audrey kitching, which will also come up later in this iceberg.

keltie knight (née colleen) and ryan started their relationship in august 2006 after meeting at the vmas, where panic! was performing and keltie was a backup dancer (she was a rockette). he was 19 and she was 24, which may not seem like a big deal, but it definitely played into some power dynamics in their relationship. for example, in keltie’s book, she says she often had pay ryan's bills for him. also in her book, she stated that he didn't take their relationship seriously, leading him to propose to her and asking her to move in (maybe he wasn't taking it as seriously as you because he was barely in his 20s keltie just a thought). they broke up in 2009 right before the split. we’ll touch on that again later. there is honestly so much more that i could say about this relationship/keltie, but some of it will be covered in this iceberg and the rest will be linked along with the jac info.

sun and moon:

another ryden entry. this refers to a theory about ryan and brendon about which one is considered the moon, and the other is the sun; it’s based on their personalities, like who embodies which more. polar opposites and all that. when ryden was still relevant, who is the moon vs who is the sun was a hotly debated topic (ryan is the moon, while brendon is the sun is the only correct answer).

this also loosely tied into some lyrics from panic and their solo music. for example, when the day met the night is often referenced in relation to this theory, although this song is definitely about keltie [vii]. also, in 2014 ryan wrote lonely moonlight, which also could refer back to this theory and kind of calls back to the lyrics in when the day met the night [viii]. however, this song is most likely about keltie too, if not another past relationship (not brendon).

dead end kids club:

this is a band/touring project that ryan was part of, including z berg, dan keyes, and the band palm springsteen. it was first announced in july, 2019. later that same year, they went on tour, hitting 8 cities for fall balls. this was referred to as the “1st annual” but….[ix]

in 2020, they released a song called lonesome town that featured a lot of videos from fans [x]. also that year, palm springsteen was accused of assault, which dekc posted a couple of statements about on twitter, here and here, stating that they had been removed from the project “a long time ago” [xi]. they pretty much disbanded after that and haven’t been active since october 2020.

livejournal:

iconic. livejournal (aka lj) was basically tumblr before tumblr existed. similarly, it could be used as a personal blog, a place to post rpf fic, an emo poetry hub, a photo album, etc. it’s on this iceberg because ryan was very prolific on livejournal, under the username i_amclandestine, and it’s essentially where panic! got its start. ryan made contact with pete wentz through lj, sending him the early demos, which lead to pete signing them and then cue domino effect to a taylor swift song.

anyway, ryan made many iconic posts on there, some of which will be addressed directly in this iceberg, but i will leave a link to an archive of his lj account for further viewing. he made his last post in june of 2006, but he deleted the account in july of that year after receiving a spam of hate. at the same time, brendon changed his (part_time_lovah) to friends only [xii].

along with the links to ryan’s old lj, i’m also going to link a youtube video by one of my favorite channels, the cozy representative, in which julian goes through ryan’s posts.

this is the web archive for ryan’s lj (does not include his last post):

this is a tumblr masterpost of all of his entries, including the last one missing from the above link:

and finally, julian’s video:

ryan and spencer childhood besties:

ryan and spencer became friends when they were around 5 or so years old, which was always the saddest part of the 2009 split to me. ryan and spencer were in the og band before panic!, which will be discussed later.

in 2016, spencer’s wife tweeted that ryan and spencer were still friends. however, ryan did not attend spencer’s wedding, which could have been for a number of reasons, one of which we will also discuss more heavily later on [xiii]. of course, there is no way for us to know whether ryan wasn’t invited or if he just decided not to go.

mcr makes me dance:

in 2004, ryan went to the chemicalromance livejournal community and posted, “hey im ryan im new i live in las vegas my chemical romance makes me dance” and history was made [xiv]. this became a "meme" amongst panic! fans, and they started bringing signs with that phrase written on them for ryan told in pics. this has continued even in recent times.

newsboy cap:

this is another iconic piece of ryan ross fashion. he wore it a lot in 2004-2006 cause he’s a little fruity. like seriously, this hat had him in the biggest chokehold.

now, we move onto some of the deeper stuff and into the waters.

tier 3

references:

[i] https://www.instagram.com/theyoungveinsmusic/

[ii] https://pathetic-at-the-disco.tumblr.com/post/171475122211/did-keltie-knight-ever-steal-ryans-dog-or

[iii] https://web.archive.org/web/20170606154418/http:/beggarsnotes.livejournal.com/

[iv] https://youngveins.tumblr.com/post/141384273691/keltie-has-read-throam-this-is-not-the-twitter

[v] https://twitter.com/iamjonwalker/status/958805938227433472

[vi] https://pathetic-at-the-disco.tumblr.com/post/170958104996/the-tragic-love-life-of-ryan-ross-part-2

[vii] https://genius.com/Panic-at-the-disco-when-the-day-met-the-night-lyrics

[viii] https://genius.com/Ryan-ross-lonely-moonlight-lyrics

[ix]https://www.instagram.com/thedeadendkidsclub/?hl=en

[x] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzcWGQQiFDU

[xi] https://twitter.com/DeadEndKidsClub/status/1275849828459823105, https://twitter.com/DeadEndKidsClub/status/1283511345330049026

[xii] https://prettyoddfever.tumblr.com/post/629056560433446912/why-ryan-ross-deleted-his-livejournal-and-brendon

[xiii] https://pathetic-at-the-disco.tumblr.com/post/171901498176/so-i-saw-your-ryanspencer-post-and-i-was-just

[xiv] https://chemicalromance.livejournal.com/96360.html?page=1

[londonfoginacup]

Dude I’m slogging my way through a batch of books from the 1800s trying to figure out if they’re out of copyright or not and that’s TOO HARD so I’m just gonna post about something totally unrelated I’ve been thinking about.

I haven’t actually seen it in this fandom at all but probably because our fandom didn’t exist pre- 2010. But like there’s been a general *idea* circulating recently that fic authors are *too sensitive* now and in the old livejournal/forum days people *begged* for critiques on their fics. They think it’s insane that we, the authors of today, keep telling people to stop being assholes and putting negative comments on fics.

And first of all, I’ve got sort of a “and then everybody clapped” mentality about it. Like I’m just side eyeing anyone who’s like “yeah I wanted everyone to give me HARSH FEEDBACK so I could IMPROVE” as if Hans Christian Andersen himself didn’t lay down in the mud and cry when he read a bad review. It is not in human nature to be like “here is my precious child now everyone give her a good prodding with a knife”. It’s just not.

But ALSO you know what was DIFFERENT about LJ days? The community was SMALLER. I might be more willing to risk some negative critiques if the fandom is just me and, say, 300 other people who are so insanely into said fandom that they’ll track down a fucking livejournal community for it. Fandom is SO accessible now that 1. The Normal People (no offense) are involved and 2. Much YOUNGER people are involved. And that’s a big demographic shift!! (Okay “normal people” needs explained but like. A quick explanation being that fandom used to be for the people who would unabashedly say “squee” and “glomp” and wear cat ears in public. If you are not that level of brazen you may be slightly on the normal side. It’s not bad. It’s just different).

Like I personally do not want a negative critique left by someone who hasn’t figured out that a negative critique isn’t “I didn’t like this plot so the fic sucks”. I TOOK A CLASS ON CRITIQUE IN COLLEGE. I do not expect a high schooler who stumbled upon my fic to be able to leave a helpful negative critique! They’re new to this!

But also like. I’m gonna be real. I don’t care what a stranger thinks of my fic. If they post a negative critique on my fic and I read it and I cry, that’s not me caring about what a stranger thinks, that’s me walking along and being punched in the face by a stranger. I still don’t care what the stranger thinks but I will be getting a restraining order bc I don’t want that to happen.

I *will* sometimes go to my friends whom I *trust* and say “hey this fic is a mess pls help” and they DO they say HELPFUL THINGS. And maybe that’s actually what Fandom Olds are thinking of. Because in a small fandom community you can TRUST people! Like being in a church of 20 where everyone has known everyone for forever versus being in a mega church of thousands. I’m not gonna trust a rando in a mega church. I’m gonna trust Linda from the tiny neighborhood church because she makes the best pizza casserole and she cat sat for me once. Expecting critique in a tiny livejournal community =/= expecting critique in the vast ocean of ao3.

Anyway I’m getting on a tangent. The point is, is authors aren’t *weak* for not wanting negative critique. It’s natural. I don’t know you or your history with fic. I will take comments and compliments because that is fuel in the fire of a writer’s heart. That’s symbiosis. I will not let you prune my writing tree with big loppers because I don’t even know if you’re a tree surgeon, and pruning a tree in the wrong places KILLS IT. DON’T BE A TREE KILLER. Yes this is two completely unrelated metaphors. No im not changing my them.

[ravynfyre]

Do you have OCs? Who are they?

I do! My primary OCs are from G1 Transformers, and I've had them for.... probably close to 20 years or more.

They came from an old, defunct Livejournal RP community where I actually played Perceptor mostly. On LJ, though, there were open, multiverse RP communities, including one called The Nexus. Perceptor used to visit the Nexus a lot, and on one occassion, he ran into a unicorn who was granting wishes. His usual request/wish was to "experience the universe as you do".

So she turned him into a unicorn. A unicorn mare.

Then a Skywarp showed up in another post asking where "everyone" was, and wondering if "that Unicorn thing" had killed them all. It was a typo for Unicron, but, of course, it was the *perfect* opportunity for unicorn Percy to pop in and have some fun. Well, Skywarp was a bit of a dick and threatened her, so she smacked him with her horn, and unintentionally turned *him* into a unicorn, too.

While I went with fun and cutsey, Skywarp's player went with sexy and awesome, with this huge, muscley, winged, red-eyed unicorn stallion... and.... well.... uh, they hooked up.

From that came the actual OCs, Strata and Photon... twin Autobot Seekers. From those two, I also eventually fleshed out Blackstar, Strata's Decepticon Seeker stalker/boyfriend ghost-since-she-had-to-kill-him-or-be-killed-in-a-dogfight. It was very tragic and beautiful. LOL.

Photon takes after mama Percy - scientificly minded, droll, a little too literal, and almost entirely unflappable. Strata takes more after papa Skywarp - passionate, wild, excitable, less a trickster and more just a full-throttle kinda gal. Blackstar is a bit lazy, a little dim sometimes, utterly besotted with Strata, and less a bad guy because of philosophy but more because it was just easier? He thinks a lot of the faction stuff is just plain dumb, and that bots and cons should just kick back with a cube and simmer down. But he was devoted to Strata enough that when he realized that they had both been set up in the fight where he died, that one of the two of them was definitely going to die in the fight... he made sure it was him that went down instead of her. He was pretty surprised to wake back up some time later as a ghost. He does enjoy fucking with Starscream, though.

fun times, that. I miss the old LJ days.