#she was going through a hell of a lot at 17

[usercelestial]

i would like to hear your thoughts ❤️

gahhhh okay no one throw rocks at me, this is buck x oc

adam has been a nurse for a long time. he's dealt with trauma after trauma, met so many firefighters and paramedics but none with a bigger heart than evan buckley. he's seen him around a few times, the station 118 is pretty well known in their hospital for being a bit a problem station. people are constantly getting stabbed and struck by lightning, evan buckley in particular seems like maybe he pissed off god personally. they exchanged a few words here and there, laughed at a few of the others jokes, but every time they lock eyes, buck makes quick work to look away and bite the inside of his cheek. adam specializes in hurt and believe him, buck seems... hurt.

it isn't until they bring in a young kid, probably 16 or 17, with bruises and cuts all over his body. he was beaten until- well, until it was pretty touch and go for a minute there. two of them hang back in particular, hen and buck. he's talked to hen before, back when she was going through med school, she told him about her wife and kids, how hard she was fighting for them, how draining it was. adam joked about that sounding familiar, he remembers med school well enough when he was single, he couldn't imagine it with a partner and a kid.

the two of them were standing together, watching the kid be carted away, both biting their cheeks and clenching their fists. hen whispered something to buck and patted his back.

"i know, it's just- god, that was brutal." buck wipes his face.

"that's why we look out for each other." hen squeezes his arm and walks away.

"does he have anyone to look out for him?" buck says to himself

interesting, he doesn't know the full story- just that that kid looked like he was in a hell of a lot of pain. and judging by the rainbow bracelet around his wrist, he's guessing he knows why.

he's about to work himself up to go talk to him. there's something about his eyes, wide and sad and so deep in thought he wonders how he pulls himself out.

they lock eyes again. adam gives him a tiny wave and an awkward smile. buck looks like he's been caught with his hand in the cookie jar and returns the nicety before bolting out the door. hen notices and looks back, processing something in her head. she smiles but it doesn't quite reach her eyes.

then buck shows up at the hospital later in his civvies, rubbing his hands together.

"hey!" adam says just a little too loudly, cringing.

buck jumps a little, like a scared deer, adam absolutely does not think it's the cutest thing in the world.

"uh, h-hi." buck is still whining his hands together.

"adam! sorry, i don't know if i ever gave you my name or if you remember-"

"i do." buck smiles, "yeah, i remember."

"good." and then he just stands like an idiot for reasons he cannot grasp before remembering he should probably speak now, "are you visiting someone?"

"do you remember that kid from earlier? the one had the um-"

"the kid that got hate-crimed? yeah i remember. he's stable now. he had a rough night, but he'll pull through."

buck visibly releases a weight off himself, "oh, good. i just wanted to check in on him. i don't know, it was a rough call, it was driving me crazy not knowing."

adam put down his clipboard, nodding, "yeah, i mean, that stuff definitely hits home for me, for sure."

"it doesn't for me," buck says and oh, shit, i guess he's not queer, fuck did i read this wrong, "i mean! like- when i came out, i had so many people that cared about me. my sister, my-well- my dad, my best friend, my boyf-" buck cuts himself off and deflates again, "sorry. i just hated the idea that he didn't have that, you know?"

"no, i get it, don't apologize. that's-thats really sweet. visiting hours are almost over but i can see if he's up for it, okay?"

bucks nods, and maybe adam is a fool with a dumb little crush but he swears he blushes a little. he feels his heart bursting a little about it. he came back to this kid, felt the need to check in and ask about him, because he didn't have something that he did.

"pull it together," he whispers to himself as he walks away.

buck keeps coming back, too. visiting the kid as often as possible, playing cards, and giving him fun facts from some documentaries he's watched. adam perks up whenever he hears one that he's watched. he lets it slip that he watched the same one, went on the same wikipedia binge. buck does that smile softly and look away like you're about to throw thing he does. adam occasionally joins in on the conversation whenever he gets a free moment. and then eventually, the kid gets discharged and buck is there to see him off. it turns out he has an aunt out in texas that's far more accepting than his folks here. he swears he sees buck tear up a little as he walks out the door, waving back at both of them.

and adam fully expects buck to go back to being a first responder he sees a few times a week and exchanging awkward, stolen glances.

but he doesn't stop coming. buck shows up the next day with two coffees in his hand. adam waves at him and buck breathes like he's psyching himself up and walks over.

"you said you liked chai lattes, so, um, i figured-i figured you would-"

"thanks!" adam decides to put him out of his misery, "are you visiting someone?"

buck ducks his head and scratches his neck, his smile looking less tortured, "hopefully, if you were free, you."

"i was about to go on my first break, if you wanted to go for a bit of a walk." adam suggests.

"that sounds great." buck clears his throat.

"great, gimme just a second, alright?" he walks away and hears buck mutter what he thinks, "i used to be better at this."

a few weeks pass by like that. buck hovering just on the outskirts of his life, very careful not to step too far in, but still present in a way that drives him crazy. he can't stop thinking about him but he only gets him for fifteen minutes now.

"do you wanna go out for dinner sometime?" adam asks, trying to sound as casual as possible.

buck gasps, like audibly, like a woman fainting after meeting the beatles, "i-uh, i should probably get back, sorry."

oh, he watches him go. and then stop in his tracks. and then turn back around, "can i get your number actually? or instagram or something?"

trying to contain his excitement, he nods, because of course he nods. when a hot, sweet as fuck, puppy dog eyed firefighter offers you their phone number, it's a crime to say no.

eventually, they do end up on a date- or at least he thinks it's a date. he can't be sure. the wine certainly feels date-eske but he really can't be sure because buck is barely looking at him in the eyes. he picked his very best "possibly a date" outfit and went in with low expectations for anything other than a really pleasant, really awkward evening. he decides though that if he gets to spend it with buck, it feels worth the awkward tension. especially because sometimes, he can coax him out of it and he looks so- vulnerable, an open wound. he's like a starry sky that hides behind a cloudy night.

adam doesn't remember what he says but eventually they start talking about things that should probably be save for the 40th date, not the maybe, jury's still out first.

but adam definitely knows he says, "you seem like you've been hurt." because the moment he does, he wants to punch himself in the face after buck gets this horrified expression like adam just said he likes kicking dogs in his spare time.

then, the moment passes, and he clicks his tongue, "i used to be better at hiding it."

"it seems like maybe it's a good thing you don't."

buck shakes his head, "i also used to be better at this," he gestures between them, "dating, flirting, having a crush," which does get buck to smile and adam gets to see that twinkle in his eyes again.

"oh okay, so this is a date, noted. and- you're not terrible at it, it's pretty adorable, actually. and i'm hardly one to judge. i'm very familiar with hurt."

buck keeps smiling, "well, my hurt is a 40 year old firefighter-pilot who broke up with me a year ago, so- i don't know how familiar you are with that kind of hurt."

"oh, i am all too familiar with that kind of hurt. does this hurt have a name?"

buck sucks in a breath, adam gets the sense that he hasn't said it in a while, "tommy. tommy kinard."

adam feels like buck is cracked open right now, "are you not ready to move on yet? cause, i'm okay with just being friends!"

"i really don't want to."

"be friends? damn, okay-"

buck puts on a hand on his for a second and adam's heart flutters, "no, i don't want to be just friends. tommy was- well, i loved him. i mean, i-"

"still do?"

"god, i'm really cursed to fuck up first dates, aren't i?"

"it's okay. i mean, i like you. i've liked you for a while, you know? and i've had my own tommy, the one that got away, one i'll never stop loving. i think-" it hurts to think about but he knows it would hurt more to forget about it, "i think what our tommys have in common is that we never let them go, or stop loving them, but we-" he sighs, thinking about his own heartbreak, his own first love, his own missed connection, "we take the love we have for them and we can let it grow into love for others too."

bucks bites his cheek. adam briefly wonders if the inside of his mouth is scarred of all the biting, "i guess i'm scared of giving him up. like if i stop thinking about it or if i like someone else, he'll disappear and everything we had will just- vanish," he chokes out.

adam hums, "it won't. that's the great thing about tommys, right? they stay with you, you never stop feeling that love. you just- build on it and give it to the next person."

buck has tears in his eyes now, adam thinks he might too, but god he's looking at such a beautiful man, with such a big heart and he can't help but thank whoever tommy is for giving him so much love that he's overflowing with it.

"sorry-"

"don't apologize, this got heavy really quick and we're only half way through the bottle of wine," they both laugh into their glasses.

"i guess i'm a little- hurt, like you said."

"i'm a nurse, buck, i kind of specialize in hurt. and if you're willing to try, i'd like another date, one that i actually know is a date beforehand."

buck really does blush this time, "i can do that."

buck leans in and kisses him on the cheek on the way out, oh god, he's a gentleman too, i'm so screwed.

down the line, when they're celebrating their engagement in the same park they used to walk through on adam's breaks, he thinks to himself, not for the first time, oh, tommy kinard, wherever you are, whoever you're with, thank you for loving our man, and thank you for letting me love him just as much.

[gremlinbean]

I hate that the show tried to pretend Buffy was in the wrong for leaving. She was not and I will fight anyone who says otherwise

[prismalmelonman]

Touching on Gale, Wyll, and Halsin's traumas being a bit undermined in parts of the fandom

So one thing I notice on Twitter is how some people act about the bg3 characters whose abuses were perpetuated by women.

Gale specifically for this reason (but I will touch on others)bbecause I see him dismissed super often as "can't get over his ex".

But Gale's case obviously be has the line of Mystra being like "she was my muse, my teacher, and then my lover" and sure to some that's a red flag in itself (when it comes to adults I don't really give a fuck about teacher/student) but if you view it from not only Gale's own words "ive been connected with the weave for as long as i can remember"

And that doesn't distract from his genuine love of magic of course. And it also doesn't mean that he's actually been in connection with mystra for an amount of time.

However, if you ascend Gale, and he becomes a god, you get a bunch of new little things. Tara reminiscing of course, but you get a letter from Elminster, detailing that Mystra had Elminster scope out Gale when he was eight!

And sure is that pretty cool that he's a prodigy that got the attention of the goddess of magic at that age? Yes. Mystra is, however, known in forgotten Realms lore to seek young young boys who are in tune with magic to make into her chosen. And from context clues, her chosen can be anything from Elminster and Volo, dedicated wizards who try to keep things in check, etc etc. or they're somewhat of playthings to her.

Minsc also has a conversation where me mentions that weave-touched boys in his homeland were hidden away to hone their craft, then suspecting that it was because of Mystra, given Gale's case.

Gale always seems so proud that he got to bed a goddess, and on the surface, hell yeah, that's cool.

Gale continued to have her attention even as he went to Blackstaff Academy, and Mystra eventually did take him on as an apprentice directly to her, later making him her chosen, and sleeping with him.

The reason it bothers me that people dismiss all of Gale's stuff to just "he can't get over his ex" is because that's is like almost textbook grooming? She was in his life from a young age, shaping and moulding him up as he grew up to be her perfect chosen, rewarding him by sleeping with him, and so on. And then of course casting him away when he has his folly with the netherese orb (and to be fair, it very well could have looked like to her that he was trying to seize the power himself and yes the orb does siphon off weave. That is a problem for the mistress of the weave yes).

But she also tells gale to KILL HIMSELF for her forgiveness.

Gale is much more than "unable to be over his ex" this woman was in his life since he was a kid. She's almost all he has ever known. If course it's going to be difficult for him to 1. Say no to her. 2. Get over the fact that he's lost someone that he spent his literal entire life dedicated to. Honestly if asked, I don't even think Gale would acknowledge or really see that what he went through was, in fact, abuse until it was spelled out in front of him. (Which does happen somewhat with the player character pleading to him that killing himself for mystra's forgiveness is actually horrific and that he should in fact be angry for how he was treated)

Similarly, and this one has been discussed a lot, Wyll and Mizora. Wyll was 17 and actively trying to help his people. 17, in a vulnerable state, willing to do anything to help and prove himself. Mizora very clearly took advantage of him, and regards him as a "pet", refers to him being "leashed", and so on. Personally, I do dislike the sexualization of their relationship, because it very much is also grooming (although a different type. Rather than manipulating and shaping his life from the ground up, she takes advantage of a vulnerable and desperate state to manipulate and contract Wyll into doing her bidding. I won't go too deep I to this one because it has been discussed to hell and back. But I did wanna touch on Wyll's situation as well.

Also, Halsin as well, though that has also been discussed in many retrospectives by a very good friend of mine. Halsin's trauma often get dismissed due to his polyamory, open sexual nature, and his own somewhat diminishing/dismissal of it, which honestly I love the representation of, cause for a while I did that with my own trauma. Halsin was a sex slave to a house of Lolth-Sworn drow, a matriarchal society, where the men are generally used as fodder or for breeding, though male Lolth-Sworn drow can be wizards and rise in the ranks if wizardry, but are limited everywhere else. (Minthara mentions that the third male, and every subsequent male child after third are killed for being"useless"). Halsin often referred to them as "hosts" rather than being captors, (though he does touch on that if the Player Character threatens to sell him back into slavery). Again, everything I'd have to say here for Halsin has entirely been discussed top to bottom by a friend, their link is below!!

Anyway, long story short, I dislike it a lot when Gale, Wyll, and Halsin's traumas and abuses get diminished, even if/when the character themself doesn't see or acknowledge the abuse in the same lens that we, the players, do.

[kamaluhkhan]

GET HIM BACK! (or: the 7 reasons you wanted revenge on luke castellan)

read part one — THE GRUDGE (or: the 7 things luke castellan hated about you)

pairing: luke castellan x nemesis!reader (afab, she/her pronouns)

summary: you were very angry and possibly still in love with luke castellan. kill him or kiss him — you still weren't sure what he deserved.

warnings/disclaimers: spoilers for season 1 of pjo + lots of book references. reader + luke are around 21 for most of this. rough? smut (p in v, oral f+m receiving, biting, scratching, slight choking, etc...) 18 + MDNI ! injuries + blood + violence. reader and others drink alcohol + smoke. lots of angst!!! luke + reader have matching tattoos. twilight + other pop culture references. reader kinda gives 'hell is a teenage girl in her 20s' vibes. maybe slightly toxic dynamic between reader + luke but we love complicated relationships ♡

author's note: thank u so much for all the love on part one!! i got a bit carried away with this one oops, but i hope y'all enjoy it :)

♪: "get him back" by olivia rodrigo

(i. he had a savior complex) 

if you were less consumed by anger, you might have noticed the sound of his footsteps following closely behind you. 

no one was supposed to go into the forest alone, but you were 17 and reckless and not at all concerned about breaking the rules, especially if it meant proving clarisse larue wrong.  

you ventured into the woods, farther than you'd ever been before, with nothing except your knife and a chest full of determination to prove that you were strong and brave just like any other demigod, regardless of if you had a cabin or not. 

you were younger then, less disillusioned, and more willing to buy into those fantasies of power and glory, spoon-fed to demigods as truth. one that you hoped to cross off that afternoon: being worthy of attention if you could sink your blade into the next monster that dared to cross your path.

everyone would see that you’re not just some little, powerless girl with no reason to be at camp. 

and, sure, there was a small but not insignificant part of you that hoped your mother was watching, that she’d finally notice how much of a hero you could be.

you could have died that afternoon. you put up a decent fight, but soon enough you found yourself fallen to the forest floor: blade down, broken arm, bleeding out. a manticore inches away from sending you to the underworld. 

you weren’t angry anymore, the adrenaline had left your body. you just were a scared child, silently praying to deities you hoped wouldn’t look away like they always do. 

i’m sorry, mom. i couldn’t do it. 

you closed your eyes, waited for your fate, and just when you thought all hope was lost — 

the sound of a sword ripping through flesh, an injured growl, and then nothing but your ragged breathing. 

your eyelids fluttered open.

it wasn't your mother, or any of the other gods, who jumped in to save your life.

standing in the middle of the clearing, gripping his sword, was luke castellan. 

he tucked annabeth’s invisibility cap into his back pocket and brought you to the infirmary.

"she's okay, though?" luke asked. he was watching you carefully, ashes from the manticore dusting his orange camp shirt. his arms were crossed, and it seemed that he managed to defeat the monster relatively unscathed.

lee fletcher, son of apollo, nodded as he set your injury. 

"nothing more than a broken arm and minor concussion. make sure your girl gets lots of rest, okay? no more monster hunting. probably has to sit out capture the flag tomorrow, too.”

you ignored the churning in your stomach when lee assumed you were luke’s girl. luke didn’t bother correcting him. 

lee left to get you some ambrosia to speed the healing process, leaving you and luke alone in the room. 

“you know, i’m not a damsel in distress you have to follow around, waiting to save. i’m not your girl.” 

“seriously?” he raised an eyebrow, but his cheeks became slightly flushed. “you would be dead if it wasn’t for me. i heard what happened with clarisse, but gods — you didn’t have to go and get yourself killed to prove something.” 

he was right, of course. part of you wanted to argue with him for always having to be the hero, but the fight lingering in your throat wasn’t enough to act on. you just sighed and looked away, feeling too impulsive and powerless and exhausted down to your bones. 

you felt the bed dip beside you, and then a hand on your shoulder. it was warmer than usual, but the calloused skin still felt familiar on yours.

“they’re not worth it, okay? that’s what you’re always telling me.”

luke’s voice was lower than before, a touch of bitterness laced through.

“yeah, well you never believe it,” you replied, voice hollow. “so why should i?” 

clarisse entered the infirmary before he could answer. luke was instantly on his feet, blocking you from her view, hand on the hilt of his sword.

“what are you doing here?” he practically growled. 

“i heard what happened,” clarisse explained, looking past luke to catch your eye. you waved at her with your newly applied cast. “i’m sorry about what i said earlier, if that had anything to do with it.”

at that point, you were still trying to figure out where you stood with clarisse. she had arrived at camp just before the new year. you’d been so used to new campers being younger than you, and it was nice to have someone the same age to be friends with. 

it wasn’t until the start of march, around two weeks ago, that ares had claimed her. ever since, there had been a newfound animosity between you, leading up to your explosive argument earlier that day. part of you had a feeling she was just trying to fit in with her siblings. it was a subtle thread woven throughout the camp, especially with the ares kids: this hierarchy of power according to the gods, with you on the lower end because your mother was only a minor goddess. 

needless to say, it wasn’t anything you hadn’t heard before; it was just that the words pierced through your thick skin when coming from a friend. 

but the very fact that she came to visit you, that she apologized and seemed to regret that you’d gotten hurt, healed you more than the ambrosia lee was just coming back to give you. 

“thanks, clarisse,” you said after a mouthful of ambrosia. 

even with an established truce, luke didn’t move away from you. in fact, he puffed his chest out a bit more. 

“if you say anything like that to her again, i swear to all the gods —”

“i just said sorry, castellan,” clarisse scoffed. “now get out of the way so i can sign her cast.” 

clarisse attempted to move closer, but luke stayed planted where he was.

“you are not getting anywhere close to her,” luke warned. 

“easy, tiger.” you got up to put your hand on his arm, but luke jerked away from your touch. your fingers brushed against his skin however, and even that brief moment was enough to shock you with its temperature. you tried again, this time bringing a hand to his neck, and he let out a hiss upon contact. his pulse seemed quicker than normal.

“are you feeling okay?”

“i’m just fine,” he huffed, and stormed out of the infirmary.

a few days later, you were training with clarisse, when silena beauregard ran into the arena and interrupted you.

“it’s luke,” she coughed, out of breath. “he’s in the infirmary—”

you sprinted towards the big house before silena could finish her sentence. 

when you reached the infirmary, luke was being held back by lee and a few others, screaming that he needed to go find you or you’d die. he was holding his sword, and campers wrestled to remove it from his grip. the sleeve of his shirt lifted up slightly, and that was when you noticed it: a gash across his bicep, shallow, but turning a sickly green. the rest of his skin was flushed, his eyes frantically searching for someone — you — and he was breathing heavily between sentences.

it turned out that he’d gone the entire week with the wound festering. one of the manticore’s spikes must have grazed luke, and he hadn’t thought much of it because he was so focused on making sure you were okay. 

manticore poison could fuck with someone’s mind if not treated right away. worse: it could be fatal. 

despite your heart beating out of your chest and the chaos you walked into, you kept your voice gentle, but firm.

“luke.”

for a moment, everything stood still. luke froze, and the campers took the opportunity to get a better hold on him.

he blinked at you and shook his head. “no. no. you’re not her. i heard her screaming from the forest and - and she’s in trouble. i need to —”

“it’s me, tiger,” you assured him. 

you approached him carefully and, despite some whispers of warning, you gestured at everyone to let go of him completely. they might have had a point, because as soon as they did, the tip of his sword was dangerously close to your chin. 

“you’re not her,” he insisted. “you’re just some monster trying to trick me.”

you stood in front of him then, and slowly raised your arm to show him your cast. a few people had signed it — beckendorf, chris, clarisse, silena. luke had signed his name too, of course, along with a poor attempt at a cartoon tiger that made you all laugh. 

“see? it’s me. i’m okay.”

there were a few moments when you held your breath, feeling the celestial bronze dig into your skin a bit more. and then:

“it’s…you. you’re….okay?” 

luke’s speech was slightly slurred. he dropped his sword like it suddenly weighed a thousand pounds; it nicked you on its way down. you didn’t care though, because luke almost fell to the ground, too. 

you gripped his wrist to steady him. 

“you’re probably not okay, though,” you explained, well aware of the urgency of the situation. his pulse felt weaker by the second, his skin burning against yours. 

“i’m….i’m fine. i just need to — she’s gonna die if i don’t —”

“i’m right here. i’m here because you already saved me, remember? you saved me, but you got hurt.”

 he shook his head slowly, and his eyes started to flutter close. 

“no, i’m okay,” he breathed, his voice smaller than you’d ever heard it. “i need to make sure y/n is okay. she needs me….” 

you swallowed the lump in your throat, seeing him start to fade away right in front of you. 

you refused to lose hope. 

no — you wouldn’t watch luke castellan die.

“i’m here, luke.” you gripped his wrist even tighter to remind him.

“but —” 

“just rest for a minute, ” you insisted, guiding him towards a bed. “for me, okay?” 

as soon as you managed to get luke onto the bed and, more importantly, calm, everyone else sprung back into action. 

chiron was away for the week, so will solace — one of the younger apollo campers, but probably the best healer at camp — used some healing magic, while lee misted luke with cold water to cool him down and another kid dripped some nectar onto his wound.

luke hissed when the liquid seeped into his skin and reached out for you. you felt like the flesh might melt right off your bones, but you let him squeeze your hand for as long as he needed. somebody came around to put a bandage on your chin, too.

you'd always resented the gods, but that was the first time you'd really lost your faith in them. watching luke fight for his life even after saving yours, other demigods joining the battle, and you thinking: this is the life you cursed us with. you imagined the gods, with power to twist fate in their favor, simply enjoying a feast on mount olympus, hermes sipping nectar and not even aware that another one of his children is dying. you supposed your mother wasn’t any better either. her neglect felt like revenge for something you didn’t even know you had done.

after a while, the skin around luke’s wound lost its greenish hue. you released a deep breath when both lee and will declared that luke seemed to be on the mend — he just needed to get some rest, and, best case scenario, the poison should have run its course by morning.

you didn’t ask about the worst case scenario.

you estimated it was around 2 am when you heard luke’s voice again.

“cold,” was all he said through shivering teeth. 

you wordlessly grabbed as many blankets as you could, and tucked them around luke. you waited a few minutes to see if it helped.

“so - so cold,” he shivered again. you reached out to check luke’s pulse, and all you could find was the faintest heartbeat. his skin looked pale in the moonlight and now felt ice cold despite his high fever earlier. 

no one else was in the infirmary then. you were wracking your brain to remember what you had learned in demigod survival class about hypothermia. something about warm drinks? you ran to the kitchen and made him a cup of hot chocolate — with cinnamon, just how he liked it. 

you whispered his name once you were back at his bedside. his eyelids fluttered open. you tried coaxing him to take the drink, but he wouldn’t even hold the mug. you didn’t think twice about climbing into bed next to him, gently sitting him upright against the headboard so that you could offer him tiny sips. you noticed then that he was still only wearing a tank top, so you took off your sweatshirt — which happened to be one of luke’s — and slid it on him. 

when the hot chocolate was done, luke sighed. some of the color returned to his face, and his teeth stopped chattering. 

“thanks, karma.”

you just hummed in response, setting the mug down on the nightstand beside you and twisting underneath the blankets. luke settled back down next to you. he brushed his thumb over the band-aid on your chin. 

“what happened? did clarisse —”

“easy, tiger. it’s nothing — just a little scratch,” you replied. 

you spared him from the whole truth. sure, there was a moment earlier when you didn’t know whether or not luke would hurt you. it was only a split second, because that wasn’t your luke. he shouldn’t have had to live with the guilt of something he did by accident, as a result of a poisoned mind.

“anyways, i should be thanking you. you’re the one who almost died saving my life. you were hanging by a thread just a few seconds ago. it seems like you’re not completely out of the woods yet.”

“well, i guess the fates are still deciding what to do with me.” he cracked a smile. 

it was a bit morbid, given what you’d been through the past 12 hours, and the fact that the manticore venom clearly hadn’t left his body completely. the possibility of his death had not completely disappeared, though you supposed that, as demigods, the risk always remained higher. 

fuck the gods. they weren’t your protectors. they weren’t your family. 

the campers who put their whole heart into healing you and luke, the boy who risked his life for you — they were your family. 

you took luke’s humor as a good sign. the luke castellan you knew — confident banter, radiant grin, heart of gold — was coming back to you. 

the luke castellan you would not allow die, even if you could still feel the cool bronze of his blade linger on your chin. 

(ii. he had an ego)

according to annabeth chase, it was statistically improbable for a demigod to reach drinking age. something always kills them first - a monster, a blade, a fatal flaw. the likelihood of survival only gets exponentially lower with each passing year.

she repeated that information to luke on the morning of his 21st birthday.

“thanks for the cheerful birthday wishes, sis.” 

annabeth shrugged and hugged him before walking back to the athena table to finish breakfast. 

"you hear that, tiger?” you pointed a syrupy fork at luke. “you are literally saying fuck you to fate, just by being alive." 

"that’s the way i like it," luke quipped, and stole a blueberry from your plate. 

"hey man, happy birthday." chris patted luke’s shoulder on his way to sit across from you and luke. "so, i just talked to chiron and he agreed to let us go out tonight." 

you smiled between bites of your pancakes, reaching over to offer chris a triumphant fist bump.

“nice work, rodriguez.” 

"we're going out tonight?"

you pressed your knee to luke's under the table. 

"of course we are," you hummed. "we have a lot to celebrate." 

so, you, luke, chris, and a few of your friends — beckendorf, silena, and clarisse — went into the city to celebrate. one of luke's favorite bands was playing, and you had managed to snag a few tickets. you'd all entered a bar confidently that night, the fake ids you were at once so giddy and paranoid about no longer needed. 

there were few times when you could all just kick back and have fun, without having to worry about the responsibilities of being senior counselors. that night, you were all itching for a taste of freedom. or, at least, some alcohol. 

"happy birthday to the one and only luke castellan: a hero by any other name!" 

everyone raised their shot glasses, echoed beckendorf's words, and threw back their drinks. 

the night became louder, more vibrant. yet, even as you laughed and drank and danced with your friends, there was a heaviness lingering in your chest.

for most demigods, birthdays were bittersweet. each one served as a reminder of time running out because of exactly what annabeth said that morning. most half-bloods don’t even live past their teens, let alone the age of 20. you had the blood of gods flowing in your veins, and your lives were influenced by sinister, divine forces from ancient times. you were the new generation of heroes, protagonists of those greek tragedies that made mortals weep.

there was no guarantee that this would last forever, but all of your friends —  the people you loved — had beat the odds. 

so, who would blame you for getting a little sentimental? 

beckendorf and chris had wandered off to play pool, in hopes of winning some bets and free drinks. clarisse was flirting with some girl who caught her eye, and silena went to grab some water after having danced for a bit. you and luke were still in the crowd, swaying to the music. for one glorious moment, you were just a group of twenty-one year olds enjoying a carefree night out. 

under the flashing lights, you stole a glimpse at luke. he wore a simple white tank top and ripped jeans, paired with a leather jacket and some rings he borrowed from you so he could, in his words, look more punk-rock. his curls were messy, his skin glittering with a thin sheen of sweat. the chain he layered with his usual camp necklace caught the multicolored light and highlighted the sharp angles of his collarbones. 

whatever aesthetic he was going for, luke looked good. based on various eyes following him throughout the room, you assumed others thought the same as well. it made you just a little bit furious, feeling that he wasn't only yours to admire. 

“you good?” luke’s voice cut through the noise, but he had to lean in close.  

his fingers brushed against the section of waist exposed by your cropped top. you’d gotten so warm that you had to tie your flannel around your waist, but luke’s touch sent a shiver through your body. it made you somewhat dizzy, feeling the cold metal of those rings on your skin. even moreso, when you realized how much you wanted to kiss your best friend, sink your teeth into his smirk and taste the mint chapstick and tequila on his lips. 

to be fair, you and luke had crossed that line before, and you were in the fields of asphodel ever since. 

not quite friendship, not quite romance. something deeper, more volatile and electric. 

you didn’t want to make things blurrier than they already were, though. whatever you acted on that night could have just been dismissed the next morning as a drunken mistake.

so, you just nodded at him and turned back towards the band as though you were never thinking about anything more than the music. 

after a few more songs, luke commanded your attention once more.

“hey, didn’t you once say you wanted to start a band?”

“what do i look like, a child of apollo?” you joked, but luke raised an eyebrow at you, clearly wanting a serious answer.

it was slightly alarming, how well he knew you; through your childhood dreams and down to your core. 

“in another life,” you conceded. “maybe.”

“in another life,” luke echoed. he leaned in close again. “you’d be a pretty hot drummer, and i’d be front row at every show.”

your lips could have touched if you moved your head just an inch, but he pulled away before you did. he was giving you that classic son-of-hermes smirk, the one that made everyone swoon. 

the thing was, you were sure that luke knew the effect he had on people. you had seen him continuously bask in the praise of chiron and other campers, always preening for the crowd's attention, as if he had to do anything more than smile. everyone loved luke — he was handsome, charismatic, strong.

and, yeah, you weren’t immune. your fatal flaw: not loyalty, or anger, or recklessness, but luke castellan’s charm.

you had to keep yourself grounded. it would be a bad idea to cross that line again on his birthday, right? 

luke licked his lips as you kept staring at him. you could tell he was waiting for you to do something. 

maybe it was the alcohol coursing through your veins or the rhythm of the music vibrating through your bones, but you started thinking — fuck it. 

before you could act on that impulse, some person with bright red hair stepped between you and luke. she introduced herself, telling luke she saw him from across the room, and she'd been watching him all night, and would he by any chance want to dance with her?

luke seemed flattered, interested even. he flashed her the very same smile he had just given you, which left a bitter taste in your mouth. you excused yourself before you had to hear them flirt even more. 

you walked over to silena at the bar. she had a half-empty glass of ice water melting in front of her, her attention somewhere else. you sat down beside her and followed her gaze to what — who — she was looking at. 

“if confessing feelings to someone is hard for aphrodite’s daughter, then there’s really no hope for the rest of us,” you tell her.

silena whipped her head towards you. her cheeks were flushed a light pink. 

“i - i don’t have feelings for clarisse.”

“lena, please. we all know. well, except maybe clarisse.”

“what?” she blinked at you, eyeshadow shimmering in the light.

“yeah,” you said with a small laugh. the irony of it all: the head counselor of cabin 10  denying that she was in love with someone. “we talk about it all the time.”

“well,” silena huffed, cheeks now a bright red. “i guess i should tell you that the rest of us talk about you and luke.” 

you reached over to grab her water, your throat suddenly dry. 

“what about us?” you asked after finishing the drink in one long sip. 

“about how you obviously both have feelings for each other. half the camp already thinks you’re dating.”

you started to crunch on whatever ice was still frozen. 

“well, we aren’t.” 

that reality hurt more than the sharp pain piercing your brain from ingesting too much cold, too fast. you couldn’t even spot luke in the crowd — he and the redhead had probably gone off to some private corner. 

“people think love’s a joke,” silena sighed. “but they don’t realize how much power it can have over a person. it can make people —”

“cowards?” you suggested.

silena nodded solemnly. “cowards.”

neither of you said anything for a while, two love-sick half-bloods slumped over a sticky bar counter.

suddenly, silena sat up straight. she tied her black hair up into a ponytail. perfect, of course, along with her makeup. you were sure you had sweat off the glitter she had applied to your cheeks earlier. 

“i am not a coward.” 

without another word, silena got up and glided towards clarisse, and you were left with an empty stool next to you. 

part of you was proud of her for following her heart. the other part couldn’t stop picturing someone else’s tongue down luke’s throat. 

“can i get a ginger-ale, please?” you asked no one in particular, hoping that the bartender heard your request for something to ease your nausea. 

“you sure you don’t want anything stronger?” 

someone slid onto the barstool next to you. he looked around your age, wearing a navy and red rugby shirt. he had what looked like a pretty expensive watch on his wrist, and he was already leaning in way too close for a stranger. 

“i’m fine,” you deadpanned.

“oh, come sweetheart, it’s on me.” 

you scoffed at the nickname and shook your head.

the guy next to you didn’t care. he snapped to get the bartender’s attention. “two vodka tonics, please. that’s your drink, right? i’m usually pretty good at guessing.”

“dude, i said i’m fine,” you repeated through clenched teeth.

the bartender set two drinks in front of you and rugby shirt pointed towards them.

“well, i already got you a drink, so you at least owe me a conversation.” he slid the drink closer to you.

"i don't owe you anything." 

"oh, come on," rugby shirt cooed. "i don't bite." he slipped his hand underneath your skirt, nails scratching along the skin of your upper thigh, through your fishnets.

you growled at the contact and stood up abruptly, more than a little coincidentally knocked the glass over. the liquid splashed onto him. his flirtatious grin melted right off his face.

“jesus christ —you bitch,” he spat. “this is what i get for trying to be nice?”

“that’s what you get for trying to grope me,” you snapped. “but i could do a lot worse if you’re in the mood.”

his face was a pissed-off shade of red, his mouth formulating a response when —

you felt luke’s arm wrap around your waist, pulling you close to him. you side-eyed him, and ignored the hickey blooming at the base of his neck.

“is there a problem here?” luke’s voice was firm, steady. 

it seemed like all the fight left rugby shirt’s body, and he put his hands up in surrender. 

“oh, sorry dude. i didn’t realize she was taken.”

you rolled your eyes. figured that this guy would only back off if there was a jealous boyfriend in the mix. 

“it’s fine, i’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding.”

“that’s for sure,” the guy continued. “your girl practically bit my head off for being nice and buying her a drink.”

your fingers tightened into a fist.

“that is not —”

“look, i gotta apologize on her behalf.”

“luke, what are you —”

“let me handle this, baby,” he hummed. “trust me, she’s normally a good girl. she just gets….harder to control after one too many drinks.” 

“i am this close to throwing my next drink at you,” you insisted. 

you weren't naive. you knew luke was putting on an act, but you weren't sure why he felt the need to appease this jerk and put you down in the process. 

you hated the way he was acting now — arrogant, condescending, borderline sexist. you wanted to storm off, you really did, but that would mean having to tear yourself away from luke, and.... you didn't hate the firm hold he had on you. 

he chuckled and raised an eyebrow at the guy knowingly, like they were the closest friends. 

“see what i mean?”

“that’s quite the firecracker you got there,” the guy complimented, as though you were a prize luke had won. “those are the ones you gotta keep on a tight leash, though.”

oh, your patience was wearing thin. if luke didn't take care of this guy soon….

“don’t i know it.” luke laughed when you barred your teeth at him. “look, we all came here to have a good time. why don’t you go join your friends again, and i’ll send over some drinks.”

rugby shirt looked at luke, then nodded. 

“alright. thanks, man. and sorry again for the….confusion.” 

luke extended a hand, and the guy shook it.

"no hard feelings. i'll be sure to keep her on a tighter leash, though."

rugby shirt walked away, laughing. you were just about ready to bite luke's head off.

you shoved luke away from you. your whole body felt like it was on fire. 

“luke castellan, i don’t care if it’s your birthday, if you ever talk to me like that again, i swear to all the gods —” you faltered when luke’s lips curled into a smirk. 

that smug, gorgeous, self-important smirk.

“what?” 

“i’m just waiting until you’re done chewing me out,” he said, clearly a bit amused. “you done?”

you hesitated, narrowing your eyes at him. “for now, i guess.”

“good, because we have about 2 minutes before our misogynistic frat buddy over there notices that something’s missing.”

he lifted his hand to show off the real prize of the night. 

“you did all of that….. to steal the guy’s watch?”

“well, duh. he was being a jerk and i’m the prince of thieves, karma. gotta use my powers for good.” 

luke winked at you as you stared at him in awe. 

“we really should go though. the others are waiting for us outside.” 

you jutted your chin towards the bruise on his neck.

"what about the redhead?"

luke flushed, adjusted his collar to hide the hickey. "i kinda lost interest when she said i was hot for an asian guy."

"oh." you ignored the triumph in your gut. "sounds like a jerk, too." 

"whatever." luke shrugged. "hard to find the good ones, right?" 

luke turned towards the exit.

"wait.” you tugged him back, and luke looked confused for a split second. “you're one of the good ones, luke castellan. did i ever tell you how incredibly happy i am that you were born?" 

luke grinned. "you could stand to say it more often."

his smile was infectious. you liked this side of luke: protective, mischievous, a bit of a trouble-maker. 

it made you want to kiss him all over again.

(iii. he lied without flinching)

you couldn’t find luke anywhere. 

he wasn’t at the climbing wall, or the arena, or the forge. luke seemed to have a knack at vanishing when you needed him most.

when you finally found him, he was outside the big house, in what seemed to be a somewhat heated conversation with chris and a new camper, ethan nakamura. 

ethan nakamura, son of nemesis. you were shocked when your mother’s symbol — swords crossed underneath a set of scales — appeared over his head after two weeks of staying at the hermes cabin. 

you were still getting used to having a younger half-brother. 

“hey,” you greeted the trio, slightly out of breath from running all over camp. as soon as you joined them, a silence fell over the group. “i was looking for you everywhere, tiger. what’s going on here?”

“actually, we were just —”

“nakamura,” luke spoke ethan’s name like a warning. 

“i’m just saying, maybe we should consider —”

luke cut ethan off this time with a sharp glance. 

“i already said no. end of discussion.”

“whatever you say, boss,” ethan grumbled.

the trio was silent again, and you eyed each of them suspiciously.

“okay, seriously. what’s —”

“we’ll talk more about this later, guys,” luke interrupted. his tone was commanding. ethan and chris dispersed. 

once they were gone, you furrowed your brows at luke, not sure what they would be talking about that could make him speak so harshly. 

“what was that about?” you asked for the third time.

“nothing important.” luke gave you a smile that seemed to stretch a bit thin. “you said you were looking for me everywhere. wanna go makeout in the hermes cabin? i’m pretty sure it’ll be empty this time of day.”

you shook your head, no matter how tempting the offer. the scene you walked into made you so uneasy that you completely forgot there was something important you needed to tell luke.

“percy and annabeth just iris-messaged me,” you explained. 

“oh,” he quirked an eyebrow at you. “is their quest going alright?”

you repeated everything the kids had told you: medusa, the chimera, ares. clarisse maybe being the lightning thief. luke had to sit down on the stairs leading to the big house when you spoke that last part. you understood why — clarisse was your friend. 

sitting down next to him, you sighed.

“you don’t think….you don’t think it could be true, do you?” 

clarisse was hot-headed, sure, maybe a bit impulsive, but a war between the gods? that didn’t seem her style. 

you hoped luke would assure you, but instead he said:

luke ran a hand through his hair. “it would make sense.”

“what?”

he leaned in close, voice low.

“clarisse was there with us during our field trip to olympus in december. the gods are arrogant enough to leave their stuff in the throne room, and there’s not really any security. she could have easily snuck in when everyone was sleeping. clarisse….” luke let out a heavy breath. “clarisse is the lightning thief.”

“no. no. she wouldn’t —”

“it makes sense, karma,” luke insisted. he placed a hand on your knee. “clarisse is angry at the gods.”

“we all are,” you pointed out.

“well, sure, but her dad is ares. how else do you get the god of war’s attention if not starting a war?”

you took a second to process luke’s reasoning. maybe he did have a point. it was just that sharp pain in your chest keeping you from believing it. 

“we don’t know anything for sure,” you decided. “and until we do….we don’t tell anyone. especially chiron.”

luke squeezed your knee, gave you a reassuring smile. 

“sounds like a plan.” he moved in closer and whispered: “now, how about we sneak away, and i do that thing with my tongue that makes you squirm?” 

you felt something tighten in your lower abdomen. you and luke were still in the sneaking-around-camp stage of your relationship; you both got a thrill from it.

at the time, you figured luke was just offering you a much needed distraction.

he kissed just below your ear to sweeten the deal — and how were you supposed to resist?

you didn’t even question how luke knew when the bolt was stolen, let alone how he seemed to have the theft already planned out perfectly.

(iv. he hid behind a pretty face and perfect teeth)

 it had been a little over a week since people around camp — including percy, annabeth, and grover, who had gotten back from their quest — found out about you and luke, together. apparently your friends had a bet going, meaning that everyone other than silena was less than thrilled about your announcement. they warmed up to the idea since then.

it still felt a little bit surreal calling luke castellan your boyfriend. 

luke often played the role of the perfect demigod, the one everyone should strive to be. he paid extra attention to new campers and made them feel welcomed. he did his chores on time, stepped in if more hands were needed for kitchen patrol, and spent hours going through reports for chiron. he taught sword-fighting and encouraged younger campers to keep practicing. he did participate in the occasional prank, that mischievous child of hermes streak impossible not to indulge in, but it only made everyone adore him even more. because luke was responsible, but not boring. he was incredibly skilled and driven, but also gracious. he was sensible and charismatic. 

you watched that luke — camp half-blood’s golden boy, the hero everyone either wanted to be, befriend, or date — and you were in awe. mostly, you wondered how he managed to bury the anger and resentment you knew was churning inside him, the same anger and resentment you sometimes let slip through. 

no, you were not as careful as golden boy luke, who showed no malice towards the olympians. to chiron, to everyone else, luke castellan respected the gods, honored them in everything he did, and taught others to do the same. 

that was not the luke who sucked a bruise onto your neck while suggesting something even you might consider blasphemous. 

“we can’t just - uh,” you had to catch your breath when luke slipped his thumb underneath the band of your sports bra. “we’d get in trouble, tiger.”

you felt him chuckle against your skin.

“since when do you care about that?” 

“since the king of the gods would probably strike us with lightning, or turn us into some horrible monsters, or curse us if we were caught fucking in his cabin." 

"that’s only if we get caught." 

luke gave you that flirtatious smile, the one he now reserved only for you.

it was that smile that led to luke settling between your legs, fucking you with his tongue and fingers, his other hand digging into your thigh to keep you from writhing too much. 

zeus’ cabin was, of course, empty, since his only known child was turned into a pine tree. you and luke had tucked yourselves into the one corner where the giant statue of the god couldn’t see you, setting a sleeping bag down on the cold marble floor and your discarded clothes scattered throughout. the dome-shaped ceiling was decorated with an enchanted mosaic sky that seemed to move. the only sounds that echoed throughout the room were moans as your orgasm washed over you.

"you're so, so pretty," he mumbled, wet lips brushing the skin of your inner thigh. he stayed where he was, awfully concerned with lapping up everything.

you whined his name when you found him taking too long, already a bit sensitive and wanting him inside you.

it might have been your conscious, but you swore you could hear a storm brewing, the threat of thunder and lightning looming.  the mosaic sprouted some clouds, growing darker by the second as if a countdown to your doom.

luke, on the other hand, was acting like you had all the time in the world, and then some.

he paused after his name tumbled from your lips again, and you tugged his hair. he propped his chin on your stomach to get a better look of you. luke was gorgeous, with his mess of black curls, deep brown eyes a little more dangerous than usual, smirk shining with your cum.

"yes, sweetheart?"

“get up here and kiss me,” you groaned. 

once again, luke took his sweet time. his mouth left a trail along your thighs and your hips, your stomach and ribs. it felt like he was worshiping every inch of your skin, scarred and uneven and tattooed as it was. luke took extra care in appreciating the sword engraved on your sternum, the tattoo that matched the one he had on his collarbone.

“hi,” luke whispered once he was face to face with you. 

“hey, tiger,” you matched the softness of his voice, contrasting the harshness that followed when luke crashed his lips into yours. you could taste yourself on his tongue, and once he sucked all the air from your lungs, you had to pull away. 

you informed him: “there’s a condom in my back pocket.”

“always prepared,” he noted with a smile, reaching over to get it.

you kissed luke again as he entered you, your nails scraping down his back. when he pulled away to look at you, you couldn’t meet his gaze. instead, you were mesmerized by the sharp contours of his body and the healed wounds that lingered, every scar that you knew by heart like they were your own. you had a favorite, too — the faint cut on his hip from when he, thalia, and annabeth were on the run and they had to jump a fence.

if luke hadn’t been thrusting into you, you would have bent down to kiss it. 

“eyes up here, beautiful.” 

when you complied, luke smiled and ran his thumb along your jaw.

“good girl,” he praised. “you okay if i go harder?”

you settled for kissing the scar on his cheekbone.

“yes,” you finally answered.  "please."

luke brought his hand down to wrap your leg around his hip before he started moving faster. your head fell back against the marble floor, but you didn’t care about the impact. you just focused on how good it felt to have luke inside you, his strong hand on your hip, his warm breath on your skin. 

after feeling you tighten around him, luke let go a bit more. he dropped his head between your neck and shoulder, his curls brushing against you. as he reached his peak, luke bit your shoulder, hard,  to keep himself from groaning too loudly. you could have sworn that you heard thunder at that exact moment. in fact, it seemed to shake the entire cabin.

luke seemed to catch the threat that time, too. 

there was no room for pillow talk as the two of you rushed to get dressed and get out of there before the king of the gods lost his patience and struck you with lightning, turned you into some horrible monsters, or cursed you. maybe all three, maybe something worse.

you slipped on your underwear and pants, but couldn’t find the top half of your outfit. 

“do you see my shirt there?”

luke had just pulled on his boxers when he turned and passed the item to you. you weren’t sure why he paused for a second while doing it. then, he whispered:

“shit.” luke’s eyes were glued to your shoulder, where his teeth had broken skin. his cheeks flushed a bright red. whether it was shame or embarrassment, you didn’t know; but you were slightly taken aback. “i’m, i’m sorry, i — i didn’t mean to hurt you. i never want to —”

you placed your hands on his cheeks. 

“hey.” you whispered at him softly, and it was enough for him to stop rambling. you could tell he felt guilty, though, since he refused to meet your gaze.

“luke, baby, look at me.”

when he finally did, your heart ached. 

it wasn’t like you hadn’t done similar to luke. you’d never broken skin, sure, but luke seemed to enjoy — really enjoy — whenever you used your teeth in the heat of the moment. you just assumed he knew you wouldn’t mind the same.

but, one bite, and luke was almost reduced to tears, all because he was afraid of hurting you. 

“it’s fine, okay? i’m fine.”

luke didn’t seem convinced, his brows furrowed with concern. you kissed the crease on his forehead and reassured him once more that you were fine. 

 “if anything, consider it payback for the hickey i left that took a week to fade away.”

luke smiled softly at that, and you knew he was coming back to you. 

“you know, annabeth suggested that i go to the infirmary because of how it looked. i had to tell her i got it during sparring practice.”

“it wasn’t that bad,” you laughed, and so did luke. 

thunder rumbled throughout the cabin once more, and you swore the clouds were growing darker by the second. 

you were about to finish getting dressed when he grabbed your waist.

“look, if i’m ever too rough whenever we’re —”

“sparring?” 

“sure,” he smiled, thumbs rubbing circles on your bare skin. “whenever we’re sparring, just promise that you’ll let me know.”

“of course,” you hummed. “only if you do the same.”

“of course,” he echoed, and he pecked your lips. “i think it’s hot, you know? when you feel like you can let go. when you mark me. i like everyone knowing that i’m yours.”

you bit back a smile, feeling your cheeks grow warm.

“well, i think it’s hot when you mark me, too. especially when you bite me,” you admitted. 

“don’t tell me you’re still into the whole vampire thing,” he teased.

“oh, please. you were as obsessed with it as the rest of us. don’t you remember?”

as if either of you could forget marathoning entire seasons of buffy the vampire slayer on dvds rented from the nearest video store. you'd watch episode after episode with your friends, the six of you squeezing onto the small couch in the big house, sharing one bowl of popcorn and endless cups of coffee to stay awake.

you shivered out of the memory when he brought his fingers up to trace the bite mark he had left on you.

zeus could have sent more thunder. he could have created a whole godsdamned storm, but you wouldn’t have cared.

luke was so close that you had nothing better to do than to close the distance between you.

luke got bolder as the kiss became more heated — he sank his teeth into your bottom lip, his tongue sweeping over the crimson liquid that emerged, the tang of copper invading your mouth.

“easy there, angel,” you referenced, and felt him smirk against your lips before moving to nip at your neck. 

you trailed your hand down the front of his exposed stomach, outlining the contours and curves. with the moonlight reflecting in, accompanied by the crackle of lightning, it almost looked like luke’s skin was glittering.

“you’re so beautiful," you cooed, nails scraping against the tight muscles of his lower abdomen. "how'd i get so lucky, huh?"

“you won’t.” 

“i'm the lucky one." a shadow passed over luke's face, and you swore you felt his grip tightening on your hips. “i never want to hurt you,” he finished the sentence you had interrupted earlier.

at the time, you didn’t think he was even capable of such a thing. 

for better or for worse, that was the night you realized something.

you liked golden boy luke. or, at the very least, you tolerated him.

the rule-breaking, sin-committing, blood-sucking luke?

he was the one you were irrevocably in love with. 

except your life wasn't some neatly written, scripted coming-of-age story about fictional vampires and slayers. 

it had monsters, too. you just didn't realize who they were until it was too late. 

(v. he made you look so naive)  

there was blood on your hands, but you weren’t sure who it belonged to.

yours or luke’s — it was a toss-up that made you more than a little nauseous. 

luke had stolen the lightning bolt. luke had tried to frame percy and start a war between the gods. luke had begged you to join kronos’ army with him. you almost killed him because of it until you realized that he left percy to die. 

you summarized everything to chiron and mr. d once you had made sure that percy was getting help in the infirmary. the scorpion poison was still putting up a fight, but percy was strong. annabeth was there with him.

dread simmered in the pit of your stomach just thinking about having to tell her everything, too — to see the look in her eyes when she hears just how much her big brother betrayed her.

“and you have no idea where mr. castellan could have gone?” chiron’s voice was stern, moreso than usual. 

you shook your head, not particularly paying attention. you could still feel blood seeping from the blademark luke had left. 

“that’s awfully convenient,” mr.d scoffed.

you narrowed your eyes at him. 

“what’s that supposed to mean?” 

“i’ve heard around camp that you and this luke were quite…. close,” mr. d said, pointing his can of diet coke at you accusingly. 

a wave of anger surged through you. it had been building in your gut ever since luke revealed his betrayal, and you didn’t care if it was a god who was on the receiving end of your wrath. 

“seriously? i saved percy and told you everything, and you’re here suggesting what? that i’m somehow a traitor, too?”  

“seems like the plot of a pretty twisted love story.”

your lips curled into a snarl, and you were about to pounce until chiron dismissed you.

you were in a trance for the rest of the day. chris was gone, too. ethan didn’t seem surprised. silena sobbed, clarisse comforted her, beckendorf cursed luke’s name. other campers kept asking about where their favorite counselor had gone, until they started growing weary of you.

because if golden boy luke was evil, what were the odds that his hot-headed, impertinent girlfriend was, too?

luke left you there, looking like an absolute fool for believing in him, trusting him, loving him.

you couldn’t unsee his blood on your hands. you might as well have been lady macbeth, desperately scrubbing out stains that would never leave.

vi. he was a vice you could never shake

calling all riot grrrls and punk rockers — this show is for YOU!!! come see the SIRENS OF NEW YORK perform THIS friday at joan’s bar ;)

the flyer was an obnoxiously vibrant shade of red and plastered throughout the neighborhood, and it did a good job. one of queens’ best dive bars was packed with people waiting to see the band perform: stella yamada on guitar, mohini banjaree on bass, sally mcknight on vocals — and you on drums. 

it was nice and still a bit new, this relatively normal existence with relatively normal people.

you couldn’t cut off the demigod side of your life completely. there was still a war brewing, and you were in regular enough contact with camp. 

but, you’d been away for a few years, trying to live the life of a non-halfblood in their early 20s. you had an apartment, a cat and a nice enough roommate. you were in school and working as a bartender to pay for rent and tuition. you had friends who, for lack of a better term, were normal. people who worried about paying off student loans and finding their passion in life, whether it be law school or feminist prose or angry girl music of the indie-rock persuasion. people who spent their time in classrooms or tattoo parlors or their friends’ bathrooms at 2am while bleaching their hair after a bad breakup. 

sometimes though, usually late at night when you couldn’t sleep, you had to admit to yourself that you missed your old life. 

you missed home. you missed playing capture the flag and training in the arena and having breakfast in the dining pavilion. you missed your friends, the ones you’d grown up with. 

you missed —

no. you tried not to let your mind wander towards him, or the consequences of what he did. you both drew blood the afternoon he confessed his sins to you, but he was the one who twisted the knife. he was the reason you couldn’t stand your life as a half-blood anymore. 

you just tried to focus on the mortal, mundane things that now composed your everyday life, like the stage you would be performing on in 30 seconds. 

before every show, your bandmates went through different degrees of anxiety. you didn’t get stage fright like them. they called you fearless, but the reality was that you had just gone up against much worse. 

and yet, that night, you almost froze mid-set, just as you started a cover of the joan jett’s “you don’t know what you’ve got.”

ironically, luke had gotten you a cd of this album for your 15th birthday. 

i was caught so unaware, when you made other plans.

think of the devil, and he shall appear.

it couldn’t have been him there, though. last time you heard of him, luke was growing kronos' army somewhere on the west coast.  

you pushed through, even though your concentration was shaken. 

i can’t stand to hear your name

you had to shake off the feeling of him watching you. 

it was just that — a bad feeling, right?

 you missed another beat, and mo turned around to give a concerned yet frustrated frown. joan had hinted that there might have been an agent in the audience, and you couldn’t afford to mess up. 

oh baby, you really blew it.

the song ended, and your blood ran cold.

it had to be a trick of the light, seeing luke in the crowd, but just the thought of being in the same space again made it impossible to be up on that stage, so exposed. 

as the band was getting ready for the next song, you slipped away, out the back door and into the alley for some fresh air. with shaky hands, you brought a cigarette between your lips and pulled out your lighter. it was a terrible habit, you knew.

those were always the ones hardest to quit and you needed a vice to keep you grounded. 

so there you found yourself, shivering in your black tank top, just cropped enough that the fishnets you wore underneath red leather pants were slightly visible. the bricks were cool against your back and you exhaled into the soft evening twilight when you realized it hadn’t been a trick of the light. 

“you look like buffy the vampire slayer.”

you rolled your eyes, because of course luke would do that. you were on opposite sides of an impending war between gods and titans, a world-ending conflict that luke directly enabled, and he led with a light-hearted comment like you were still the best of friends. 

as if you hadn’t been on the receiving ends of each other’s blades ever since luke revealed himself to be a traitor. 

“give me one reason why i shouldn’t kill you right now. ”

“because i’m alone.”

“you could still be here to kill me,” you reasoned. “or at least try.”  

after everything, you wouldn’t put it past him. you known him to do a lot worse, all to people he claimed to, in a past life, care about. 

luke tried again. 

“because you always liked a fair fight. i came alone and unarmed.” 

you scoffed, dropped your half-finished cigarette to the ground, and snuffed it out with the toe of your chunky patent boot before walking over to stand in front of luke. he put his hands up in surrender as you approached him. 

“if you’re not here to fight, then why are you here?” you demanded, fingers brushing against the switchblade in your pocket. you always kept a celestial bronze weapon on you in case you came across any monsters in the city. you looked at the one in front of you, and wished you had brought a bigger knife.

“i just….i wanted — needed to see you.”

your eyes grazed luke carefully.

he looked rough. deep shadows under his eyes, hair disheveled and partially matted down, shirt wrinkled like he’d been on the run for days. his hands caked with blood and dirt, his face, too. a nasty bruise on his elbow, and what looked like another one disappearing beneath the collar of his shirt. 

you bit down the urge to care. you had to remind yourself that luke was dangerous, cruel, and heartless. you couldn’t stand to look at him for one more second, at least not without biting his head off, or at the very least the cut on his lip. 

“no. you don’t get to just —”

the door slammed open, echoed throughout the alley. stella poked her head out, guitar still strapped to her shoulder. from inside, you could hear the crowd cheering.

“jesus christ, y/n! where have you been?” 

“sorry, stel. i needed a smoke break and then i ran into a — ” your voice caught on the word friend. “luke.”

his name left a poisonous taste in your mouth, and you swallowed its bitterness. 

she saw luke then, who gave her that charming smile of his you hadn’t seen in forever. he extended a hand towards her, but stella just scowled at him and turned back to you.

“are you coming to finish the show?” stella demanded. 

“i need to deal with this,” you told her. “i’m sor—”

stella huffed and slithered back inside before you could finish apologizing. 

 “great,” you laughed cynically. “now one of my best friends is pissed at me, and i might get kicked out of the band. my luck just gets worse every time you force yourself back into my life, castellan.”

you weren’t quite sure how to make of the way he looked at you — maybe apologetic, possibly desperately, definitely some sort of disguise. 

“i know….i fucked up, karma.”

you glared at the use of his old nickname for you, feeling a shudder run down your spine.

“yeah, you fucked up. and now everyone, the whole world, is suffering the consequences. me, annabeth, your mom —”

“please,” luke begged once more, voice shaking now. “if you ever loved me —”

“don’t.” you barked. “if you ever loved me, you’d accept that the next time we see each other, it’ll be fighting on a battlefield. until one of us is on the ground, bleeding out, or never again.”

luke stared at you. you glared back at him. 

“sorry i’m late, lukey. did i miss much?” a sickly sweet voice cut through the tension. 

you turned and saw a cheerleader. she looked relatively normal, but the mismatched legs — one bronze, another furry — along with the red eyes and fangs gave her away. 

“you said you were alone,” you pointed out, tilting your head towards the monster. “looks like you brought company.”

“i didn’t,” luke insisted. “kelli’s been hunting me down.”

kelli pouted. “i thought we were playing hide and seek. but it’s over now — i win. please don’t be mad, baby.”

baby. you could have laughed. 

“i guess you moved on, castellan.” you meant your words to come across as mocking, so you hoped luke couldn’t sense the resentment behind them.

kelli giggled, and you thought your ears might bleed. 

“he sure did,” she cooed and moved closer to luke, running a long red fingernail down his chest. he pushed her away abruptly, and kelli pouted once more. “we miss you, luke. i miss you. please come back home with me.”

“that’s not my home.”

out of everything luke had said, those were the words that got through to you. you glanced at him once more — his hands curled into fists, jaw clenched, and eyes locked on yours, panicking and pleading at the same time. 

you had to give in to those pleading, panicked brown eyes. 

luke didn’t have any weapons on him. all you had was a tiny pocket knife and some combat skills you’d been maintaining through kickboxing classes with your roommate, but you were willing to put them to good use.

you stepped in front of luke. 

“listen — kelli, was it?” the empousa growled at you. “call me sentimental, but i can’t let you take him.”

kelli gave you a snarl, and you whipped out your switchblade. admittedly, it looked a little pathetic compared to her deadly fangs and sharp claws. 

“aw, cute!” she mocked, and then pushed you backwards. 

you expected to tumble into luke, but he had disappeared. seemed like you did make the wrong choice, to trust luke again. 

again — the worst, most sinister habits were the hardest ones to break. 

it briefly crossed your mind to chase him down after this for leading you into a trap. for now, you had a shapeshifting cheerleader to take care of. 

you managed to side-step kelli’s next attack, and sliced across her arm in the process. she shrieked. her hair bursted into flames, as if your day could get any worse. you tried to get another jab in, but kelli managed to be quicker this time. she punched you in the jaw, then kicked you, hard, with a hoofed foot, causing a dull crack to your ribcage upon impact. the kick sent you spinning towards the brick wall; it stopped you from falling, but knocked the air out of your lungs. you spat, your mouth thick with the taste of blood. your ears were ringing, and you couldn’t locate your knife. 

you were definitely out of practice. 

“kelli!” 

you both turned your attention towards luke, standing at the entrance of the alley with his sword in hand.

“luke!” kelli said like he was her long lost lover. she batted her eyelashes at him, the murderous grin she had given you melting away to something more enticing. “you came to help me finish her off.”

luke tilted his head. “not exactly.”

luke threw the sword towards you. despite a split second of surprise, you caught it; made a sharp diagonal cut. before kelli knew it, she was reduced to nothing but dust.

you dropped luke’s sword and fell to the pavement, adrenaline coursed through your veins from the first near-death experience you’d had in months. even with your body bruised and broken, fighting was a thrill like no other. 

luke came to kneel in front of you, sneakers crunching over the ashes of his ex-girlfriend.

“you said you were unarmed.” your voice sounded muffled. you spat out another mouthful of blood.

“half-bloods are walking monster bait. i’d be an idiot if i didn’t have any celestial bronze on me.” 

to emphasize his point, luke tucked your switchblade carefully back into your pocket. he moved his hand to the hem of your shirt. it was your instinct to keep him from lifting it up, and he stopped when he noticed your hesitation.

“i’m just trying to see how bad it is,” he informed. his lips then formed a bemused grin. “besides, i’ve already seen everything.”

“shut up,” but you smiled weakly even if it made your cheek hurt.

the skin where kelli had kicked you was turning an alarming shade of purple. luke tried to touch it, but you let out a sharp breath when pain emanated across your ribcage, and he recoiled. 

“okay, we need to get you —”

“i’m fine,” you groaned. you struggled to stand up, but you urged yourself to walk away. in your mind, the scales were already balanced. 

the moral, logical side of you was in danger of yielding to the wicked desire you always tried to suppress — to be with luke, even once more, just like old times. your quest for vengeance could only be stopped by your hunger for something more, and you needed distance from him before you gave in too much.

“i don’t need your help,” you insisted. “i protected you from kelli, and you gave me the sword that saved my life. we’re even.”

you started to limp away, but luke grabbed your side before you could get too far. you yelped at the contact.

“sorry,” he winced. “just — let me at least get you to a hospital.”

“what do i look like, a rockefeller?” you scoffed, and then grimaced when it felt like a giant was crushing you from the inside out. “i can’t afford that. i have some emergency nectar and ambrosia at my place, anyways.”

“let me at least get you back there, then. please.” he grabbed your hand. “i owe you.”

looking into those deep brown eyes, something in your stomach snapped. 

bad habits were always the hardest to break.

“fine,” you coughed. “but one wrong move, and i swear: i’ll go full vampire slayer and pierce a wooden stake through your heart.”

luke nodded once, lips curling into a smile. “seems fair.”

you groaned as luke wrapped his arms around your waist to keep you steady, his hold terribly familiar as he carried you back home. 

(vii. he loved you — and you weren’t sure if that was a fact or a weapon)

your apartment was only a few blocks away. luke must have gotten stronger, because he was able to carry you up the fire escape to avoid too much attention.

“i’m not sure if my roommate is home,” you whispered as luke set you down on the carpet by your bed. “so we should try and be quiet.”

you told him where you kept the supplies. he snuck away and emerged from the bathroom a minute later with clean hands and a first-aid  kit.

luke knelt down in front of you. 

“can i take your shirt off?” 

you nodded, trying to keep your eyes from fluttering closed. you were so bloodied up, more so than you initially let on, so you let luke do whatever he needed to do. he took off your shirt, assessed your injury and apologized when the pressure from his fingers made you wince. he wiped the blood off your lips and coaxed your mouth open to feed you some ambrosia, offer you a sip of nectar. 

there was no doubt about it: luke was taking care of you.

at first, you imagined your bones stitching themselves back together, and maybe some pieces of your heart, too. 

what were the odds that he was manipulating you, though? certainly not zero.

and then you noticed something when he reached over to place the canteen of nectar back with the kit. he was moving slowly, his breathing shallow and fresh blood seeping through his shirt.

“wait. what happened?”

“nothing,” he winced. luke was always good at hiding his pain.

“luke.”

“it was a few days ago. a hellhound bit me when i was trying to escape from….”

kronos’ army. he didn’t need to say it for either of you to remember. 

wordlessly, you switched your positions, led him to prop himself up on the bed frame while you crouched in front of him. 

“can i take this off?”

luke nodded. 

the first thing you noticed was that his muscles were more defined, yet his body was more beat-up than you'd ever seen it. there was a pretty nasty bruise on his shoulder. your eyes traveled down to the bitemark at his hip, and the haphazard stitching job luke must have done to himself. it looked like it could be infected, and with the activity from today, it was no wonder the wound reopened.

like he had done to you just seconds before, you took care of him.

“so…how are our friends?” he exhaled as you ran a cloth over his skin to clean off some of the blood.

our friends. it didn’t feel right that luke could still call them that. 

“i’m guessing you know what happened to chris….” luke grimaced, and you hoped he felt a little guilty at sending one of his best friends into a madness-inducing labyrinth. “clarisse and lena broke up, and neither of them will tell me why. beck is doing fine, always coming up with stuff in the forges. i guess that’s as good as anyone can be now, inventing new weapons for a war none of us wanted.”

you couldn’t help but add that last part. 

“and the kids?” luke asked as though you were divorce parents and he lost the custody battle. 

you looked up at the gray streak in luke’s own hair, remembering that he had manipulated annabeth and percy to hold the weight of the world, a burden that they couldn’t seem to shake.

it made you more than a little uneasy, luke showing any sense of caring for the people he seemed to leave behind and hurt so easily. you wished he hadn’t been so tender and attentive, like all the fighting and animosity had been a bad dream. 

luke just had to make everything so complicated.

“they’re fine, all things considered.”

you didn’t offer anything more, anything less. 

he was quiet for a moment.

“you seem to be doing alright, though?”

you ignored the question completely that time, focusing on getting the job done. you gave luke some ambrosia and nectar, watched as the infection magically disappeared. the wound didn’t completely heal, and there were many bruises that lingered. you were about to give luke some more when he shook his head. 

"you should save the rest for emergencies," he suggested, chin jutting towards your diminishing supplies. "in case something happens."

"is that a threat, castellan?" you asked, only half-joking. 

"no." luke reached out to touch your face, perhaps a move to reassure you, but then he redirected himself. "besides, i'll be fine. just need to cover it with some gauze." 

"you should take a shower before, then. i'll see what we have to eat." 

you helped him up, and sent luke into the bathroom. you changed into clean clothes before going to look for some food.

the ambrosia and nectar made your body feel more powerful than it had in days, even before getting kicked around by a demon cheerleader. no wonder the gods felt invincible, if that was their diet. meanwhile, all you had in your kitchen was a half-empty box of cinnamon poptarts and packets of instant coffee. 

you could hear your roommate singing from behind her closed door. you were quiet in toasting the breakfast pastries, and then slithered back into your room to look for something that would fit luke.

luke didn't hear you knock, so you just entered and closed the door behind you gently. on the bathroom counter, you set a pair of sweatpants that an ex had left behind, along with an oversized shirt of yours. before you could leave, there was a knock on the door. luke heard this one, and poked his head from behind the shower curtain. you gestured at him that you’d take care of it. he nodded, and closed the curtain again.

"yeah?"

"do you have any tampons in there?" your roommate's voice was muffled through the door.

"yeah," you replied. "i'll be out in a minute."

"do you mind if i just come in now? i'm bleeding out, out here." 

you were about to protest, but the doorknob started to turn, and you panicked. you slipped behind the shower curtain with luke, who looked at you wide-eyed. you placed your hand over his mouth before he could say anything. 

you were lucky earlier, that stella's mind was so preoccupied she didn't notice how beat-up luke was. you didn't want to take another chance. you didn't need your roommate asking questions. 

once the sounds of shuffling through cupboards stopped, and you heard a small thank you followed by the door closing, luke bit your palm.

"ow!" you hissed, pulling away from him.

"she's gone,” luke shrugged. “you don't need to muzzle me anymore.”

you rolled your eyes. “i put some clothes out for you, and a clean towel.”

luke caught your wrist before you could leave. 

“wait. my shoulder is killing me. do you mind…would you maybe help me….” 

his question trailed off, and you furrowed your brow when he pointed the shampoo bottle in your direction.

“you practically carried me down 3 blocks and up 4 flights of stairs, but you’re too hurt to wash your own hair?”

“i guess the pain just caught up with me.” his cheeks flushed and he cleared his throat. “sorry, i shouldn’t have —”

something pinched in your chest, hearing him stumble for forgiveness, even if it was so mundane. you caught yourself saying:

“i’ll do it.” 

before you could decide if it was a bad idea or not. you got rid of your shorts and tied your shirt up around your waist to prevent the clothes from getting too wet. luke blushed even more at your panties and exposed stomach, as if he wasn’t fully naked — which you were, of course, trying to ignore.

neither of you said anything as you focused on the task at hand, massaging shampoo and then conditioner into luke’s curls until they were rid of the grime trapped within. all you heard were luke’s soft sighs as your fingers scraped across his scalp and steady stream of water hitting the bathroom tiles. luke seemed so relaxed that his eyelids fluttered closed, and he almost toppled over. with your own sudsy hands, you brought his hands to sit at your waist, steadying him. 

the space was a little foggy, slightly too warm. you and luke had been intimate before, but never like this. it was almost enough to make you forget.

once all the soap was washed away, you brushed your fingers over the scar on his face, down to the sword tattooed along his collarbone, before you realized what you were doing.

“sorry,” you whispered, pulling your hand away.

“it’s okay,” he hummed, and he moved his hand up to brush against the very same tattoo you had on your sternum, touch burning through a layer of cotton.

you wanted his hands elsewhere — around your neck, between your legs.

the water was running cold by then, and it jolted you back to reality.

you had to keep your desires in check. luke was manipulative and cruel and ruthless — you were enemies, not friends or lovers. you weren’t supposed to want him carnally.

you reached behind him to turn the shower off without another word, and left the bathroom so he could get dressed. 

neither of you were armed, but the situation was dangerous. you were barely healing from the claw marks luke left on your life and yet…. 

part of you wanted him to dig his fingers back into those wounds — to feel him again, even if it bled you dry in the end. 

luke’s sword, backbiter, leaned against your windowsill, a menacing reminder of who he had aligned himself with. luke was essentially kronos’ right hand man. he was your enemy.

what were you doing, bringing him into your home, taking care of him and letting him do the same to you?

leaving yourself vulnerable to him, letting your guard down?

now that you thought of it, if his guard was down, you could probably grab your own knife and just —

you heard luke clear his throat and you turned to see him standing in your doorway, shirtless and sweatpants hanging low. it was embarrassing how much you wanted to lap up the drop of water traveling down his chest.

luke must have noticed, so cleared his throat again. your body felt warm all over when you met his gaze, and he gave you an annoyingly confident smirk.

“so, here’s the thing. i’m pretty sure you’re either thinking about wanting to kill me, or wanting to fuck me.” 

you rolled your eyes at his arrogance, but couldn’t help but play along. 

“sounds like you’ve accepted your fate either way.”

“well, i do have a preference,” he quipped. “i just don’t particularly care as long as it's in your hands.”

it didn’t get past you that luke was checking you out, too, eye trailing over the exposed skin of your legs and lingering on where the t-shirt hugged your chest. 

how bad would it be to, for one night, indulge? no concern about what was right or wrong, about titans or gods; no worries about what a prophecy foretold or which side of a war you’re on. 

just you and luke: giving into your own twisted desires, and dealing with the consequences later.

another droplet trickled down luke’s torso. it disappeared underneath the band of his sweatpants, and you just couldn’t take it anymore.

you strode over to him, about to crash your lips into his when —

luke stopped you with a hand wrapped around your neck.

“no kissing,” he warned. 

“what’s the matter?” you smirked. “i thought you liked it when i bite. worried that you’ll turn away from the dark side if i do?”

luke swallowed thickly.

you were taunting him, relishing in how his breath caught in his throat and gaze seemed fixed on your lips.

it was cute, how luke tried to hold onto some semblance of control, but couldn’t hide the slight tremble in his voice. 

“no kissing. that’s my only condition.”

“okay.” you took off your shirt, positioned yourself on the bed to punctuate your point. “as long as you’re fine sleeping with the enemy, castellan.”

luke stared for a few seconds before accepting his fate. 

he caged you in with his arms, settling his hips between your legs. his lips traveled down your tattooed sternum, nipping and sucking and re-bruising your skin until he reached the waistband of your panties. luke pulled it up with his teeth, the elastic snapping back when he let go. you whined his name and he looked up at you with dark eyes. 

“can i?” his breath fanned over your navel, his nails digging into your hips as he waited for your answer.  

“yes. please.”

you hadn’t meant to sound so desperate, but you could feel luke smirk against your inner thigh before sinking his teeth into it. you whimpered, and luke salved his tongue over the area to ease the sting before removing your underwear. he positioned your legs over his shoulder for better access to where you needed him most.

luke manipulated his tongue and fingers in all the ways he knew ruined you. in return, you gripped his black curls, tightly, and uttered praise in all the ways you knew ruined him. 

“just like that, pretty boy,” you encouraged, practically melting into the mattress. it felt so good ��� dangerously good — to be devoured by luke. “keep doing a good job and i’ll return the favor later.”

luke’s moan vibrated throughout your body and he became harsher, bringing you over the edge. he left a few more bites on your body on his way up to meet you and when he did, luke’s lips and chin were still shining with your release.

you leaned forward slightly to lick it up. you ghosted your mouth over his, and luke groaned when you pulled away.

“no kissing,” you mocked and ran your thumb over his tattooed collarbone. 

luke tightened his grip on your hips, surely leaving bruises for later. his eyes feral, his curls a terrible mess, when he grumbled:

“you’re such a —”

you twisted your calf around luke’s leg and you flipped your positions before he could finish his sentence. he grunted as his back hit the mattress. 

“don’t worry, sweetheart. i’ll still take care of you,” you drawled, starting to trail your tongue down luke’s body, occasionally incorporating your teeth or sucking brutally, imprinting a constellation of bites and bruises. his skin smelled like your pomegranate mango body wash, and it was more than a little intoxicating.

you weren’t soft or gentle, because you knew how luke liked you — rough, raw, a little ruthless. luke once told you that the wounds you left on his body weren’t the type that left him bitter; they were the type of wounds he wished would never heal.   

in a moment of weakness, you left a kiss — just one — on the semi-healed wound on his hip. luke sighed at the gesture and reached a hand down to gently brush his fingers against your cheek. 

“i missed you so much, karma,” luke almost sobbed. 

slightly shaken out of your lust, you weren’t sure whether to smirk at the hold you had on him, or sob at the reality that you missed him too. 

sensing your hesitation, luke removed his hand and told you to continue.  

you made quick work of luke’s sweatpants. luke, already hard and throbbing, didn’t last long with your lips wrapped around him. you swallowed him whole, and then some. 

“always such a good girl for me,” luke praised when you were face to face with him once more. his thumb swiped over your wet lips to gather what you missed. you granted him access to push into your mouth, and luke groaned when you hollowed out your cheeks and sucked his thumb clean. your teeth scraped the skin on his way out. 

what followed was a brief squabble over who should be on top. you won out. 

there you were, luke sitting up against the headboard, you on his lap with his length nestled in your cunt. you scraped your nails down luke’s chest, and then curled your hands around the base of his neck. he gripped either side of your waist, thumbs pressing circles into your skin encouragingly. luke looked up at you in awe, desperate sighs leaving his mouth as you rutted your hips against his. it felt sinful and wonderful, feeling luke buried deep inside you again, stretching you deliciously. the two of you exchanging animalistic grunts as you used the other's body, chased your high.

when you rolled your hips into his at just the right angle, luke’s moans turned into whines. 

“fuck it. please — kiss me.”

you stilled your hips, and luke whined some more. “are you sure?” you asked, breathing heavily.

luke nodded and gently moved you to lay on your back with him hovering over you. he leaned close, nudging the tip of his nose against yours. 

“please,” luke pleaded once more.

his brown eyes looked down at you with such hunger and passion, something deep within you ached. 

you kissed each other harshly, then. you still tasted him on your tongue and yourself on his. his sharp nose cut into your cheek, mouth attacking yours and vice versa. your nails pierced the skin of his shoulder as he resumed thrusting into you at a vicious pace. luke kept gnawing on your bottom lip until he made you bleed. you groaned, and he slipped his tongue back into your mouth to savor your coppery taste.

yes, luke could also be rough and raw and a little ruthless — which you always loved. but you knew, regardless, you were safe with him in that moment. all he wanted was for you to feel good.

you yanked his curls to force luke to look at you. he whimpered at having to detach himself from your lips.

“i missed you too, tiger,” you finally admitted, calling him that old affectionate nickname you promised yourself you would never use again.  “i missed you so fucking much.” 

luke gave you that troublesome smile of his. you connected your lips once more. you wrapped your legs around his waist to bring him impossibly closer, and luke wrapped an arm around your back to do the same. 

it wasn’t long until you both reached your peak, collapsing back onto the soft mattress, chests heaving. you each lied down on your side, facing each other. you admired luke’s mess of curls, his swollen-kiss-bitten lips, the rose-petal bruises you had left.

you wished the post-sex haze lasted longer, but then luke had to disturb it by saying:

“what you said earlier — i never think of you as my enemy, you know.”

you sighed and covered your face with your hand. “luke —”

“never,” luke insisted. he inched closer, took your hand in his and held it to his chest. 

you were overwhelmed by his heartbeat, strong and fast, so you pulled yourself away.

“we’re fighting on different sides,” you pointed out.

you could’ve said more, but all the things that have been said and done already hung heavy in the air, reoccupying the space between you and bursting your brief moment of peace.

“but we’ve always been fighting for the same thing.”

maybe that was true.

in theory, you weren’t against overthrowing the gods. but you couldn't reconcile with everything luke had done, what he was willing to do. you couldn't let your friends and thousands of innocent people die in the name of divine beings who valued power and control over all else. you couldn't hurt or betray people you loved for the sake of revenge, regardless of who your mother is. you couldn't turn that love against them, the way luke had, in search of justice. 

deep down, you knew it wasn’t right to have him there in bed with you. if it was so wicked, sinful, treacherous — then why did you want him to stay?

“i’m not sure they have a word for what we are,” you concede, returning to the conversation moments ago. 

"i guess not."

you let luke bring you into his arms that time. you rested your head against his chest. his heartbeat still steady, but a little slower. you idly traced your fingers across the marks you left on him, and you avoided the ones you didn't.

"how's your shoulder?" 

"it's okay," luke sighed. he lifted your chin between his thumb and forefinger. "whatever we are: i love you." 

those weren’t the words that were meant to make you sick, but your stomach churned — with nausea or desire, you weren’t sure.

you moved to straddle his hips. your eyes glanced over a scar you didn't register until now. the cut you had sliced across his cheek that afternoon he tried to kill percy, and then ran away from camp. you had a similar one that he had given you during that same struggle. 

matching tattoos, matching scars. there really was no word for what you and luke were to each other. 

"i love you too.”

at some point throughout the night, with luke’s strong arms wrapped around you and your legs intertwined beneath tangled sheets, it occurred to you that luke must have tracked you down for a particular reason.

maybe he was here to convince you to join kronos' army, to help him overthrow the gods and burn the world as you knew it; maybe he was here to break your heart all over again, just for the sick thrill of it; maybe he did just want to have one more night together, enemies or otherwise. maybe, maybe, maybe.

luke’s soft snores lulled you to sleep, and you couldn’t bring yourself to care about the scales of justice.

you'd figure it out in the morning. then you'd decide whether or not he deserved a blade to the heart.

[wosoamazing]

Barca v Arsenal Round 2

Warnings: Head injury, vomiting, concussion, google translated Spanish (sorry in advance - with english translations)

A/N: I have a request for a McCabe red card fic, so that inspired this, so a McCabe red card fic coming off the back of this will be soon. I also may have another major change for this series, or a few.... (also note that the pregnancy story line is/was a one shot)

You were sprinting full pace towards the box, preparing for Aitana’s cross, the ball was currently with Lucy, you neared the edge of the box as Aitana received the ball, preparing to be able to just tap it in, it left Aitana’s foot, however the ground also left your feet, someone had tripped you, it was McCabe, living up to her nickname, she had only meant to trip you, maybe receive a yellow, what she had not calculated for was that you hadn’t slowed, so your speed in addition to your proximity to the post meant you didn’t just fall to the ground, you went flying, straight into the goal post, head first, the sound of your head clashing with the post reverberated around the stadium as your body thudded to the floor, and your everything went black. Alexia, and Lucy were immediately by your side, practically sprinting over to you. As you started to come too again, you slowly opened your eyes and you grimaced at the brightness of the light, your vision was slightly fuzzy but you could easily make out Alexia’s face which was above over yours, she was looking at the sidelines concerned, she shook her head at something, you tried to move your head, maybe sit up, but noticed their were firm hands placed either side of your head meaning that you couldn’t, they must’ve been Alexia’s as she immediately looked down at you, her face softening as she saw the tears that brimmed your eyes.

“It’s okay Bebita, we will get you all fixed up, don't worry, just don’t try to move okay.” 

Lucy was standing right next to your head, she was looking over to where quite a lot of noise was going on, Alexia looked up at Lucy before looking over there too, that’s when you suddenly heard a very familiar voice and remember you were versing your old team.

“What the hell McCabe,” you heard your sister say, as she probably pushed her “why would you do that, that’s my sister, my fucking baby sister Katie, and you just knocked her out. What were you thinking, as if you were ever going to get away with that.”

The medics came over, and Alexia, looked back to you, your eyes were darting around. “L-le, I want Le” you scaredly said as a single tear left your eye. “Lucy, Leah now” Alexia ordered Lucy, “It’s okay Bebita, Lucy is going to get her,” just after Lucy left the ref blew her whistle, the high pitched noise pierced through your skull, the sound was followed by your sister's voice “Oh you fucking deserved that,” you could hear your sister continue to argue with Katie untill Lucy raised her voice.

“Leah,” the two Arsenal players stopped, “she’s asking for you,” and just like that Leah’s mind was completely cleared of her anger towards McCabe.

“Leah,” you cried out again, as your eyes continued to dart around. “She’s coming Bebita, it’s okay she’s coming” almost as if on que Leah came into your vision, “Bug, it’s okay, I’m here.”

“Le,” you let out a sob “It hurts,” “I know it does bug, but can you stay as still as possible and listen to the medics?”

The medics were doing their usual checks, when one of them started talking to you, “¿Puedes entenderme? (can you understand me?)” “Sì” “that’s good right, it means it isn’t super bad, and like her memory is good” Lucy questioned, one of the medics gave her a small nod before they continued.

“¿Puedes decirme tu nombre, tu edad y dónde estás en español y luego en inglés?” (can you tell me your name, your age and where you are in Spanish and then in English?)

“Eh, tengo 17 años, mi nombre es Y/N y estoy en España jugando al fútbol contra mi antiguo equipo. I am 17 years old, my name is Y/N, and I am in Spain playing football against my old team” Your spanish was slower than usual but it was still well above Kiera’s spanish speaking abilities.

“Muy buena”

The medics did some more checks before looking up at Alexia and Leah, they said something in Spanish to Alexia who translated for Leah, “They’re going to stretcher her off, but they think it’s just a concussion.” 

As they were moving you onto the stretchers Steph came up behind Leah and tapped her on the back before leaning forward and whispering into her ear, “Jonas said you can be subbed off if you want,” Leah smiled at her fellow teammate before nodding and following you off the pitch.

It was half time and the girls had come to check on you, all just popping their heads around the corner seeing you were asleep and deciding to leave Leah alone, who looked very stressed and worried, however Alexia and Lucy walked in, Alexia first went to you to check you were okay once she knew you were she turned to Leah, “I can’t stay for long I have to go back out with the team, but Lucy will stay, and-” “Alexia!” Jonatan shouted, she quickly walked out, “Lucy knows the rest, oh and I will get food.”

Lucy sat down next to Leah, and studied her briefly before she started to talk, she decided to just be straight with your sister.

“We don’t know if you’re staying or how long you will stay for, but Alexia said you could stay there, that she knew you probably expected that but she wanted to reassure you. Are you staying or are you going back with them?”

“I’m staying, I’m not going, I haven't been there for her so many times when she has been sick or hurt. I was here for this one, I can’t just leave her now.” she let out a heavy sigh, “I just miss her so much, I want her back, I miss her Luc, I already missed so much of her life growing up and now I’m missing everything again,” leah admitted quietly.

“Le, it’s okay, she isn’t mad at you, and you can’t blame yourself, at the end of the day she was the one who chose to go.” she just nodded, trying to hold back her tears.

______

Since you had a shower at the stadium you crawled straight into your bed when you got home, Leah getting in beside you, “Le,” you groggily spoke, “yeah,” she softly said as she smoothed out your hair, “please don’t go, please stay,” “I’m going to stay Bug, I’ve already told Jonas and Lia,” you gave her a small soft smile as you nodded slightly before your curled into her side and drifted off to sleep.

______

Later that night you found yourself hunched over the toilet, throwing up, whilst your head still pounded. “It’s okay, I’m here, I’ve got you,” Your sister said as she rubbed your back. Just as you had finished and rested your head on Leah’s shoulder, body collapsing into hers, Alexia walked in with some water and more pain meds, she was met with a confused look from Leah, “I heard you up, figured this was the reason” she whispered, before handing you the water and meds, you took them before lowering your head to now rest on Leah’s lap, promptly falling asleep.

“Thank you for taking such good care of her Alexia, she really likes living with you,” “It’s nothing,” “But it really is, and you’re doing the job I should be doing, I’m her big sister, I should be there for her when she is sick and I’m not,” the tears in Leah’s eyes that threatened to fall earlier in the day started falling, “I’m sorry,” Leah mumbled as she put her face in her hands, Alexia wrapped an arm around Leah’s shoulder to comfort her, not really knowing what else to do, as she didn;t know how to reply to what your sister had just told her. 

______

You woke up to Mapi’s voice “Ingrid, Ellas estan aqui (they are in here),” you then heard her take a photo on her phone.

“Mapi?” you asked quizzically as you slowly sat up from your position on the floor.

“Hola Nena, ¿cómo te sientes? (how are you feeling?)” you only groaned in response.

“Ingrid Vendrá a recogerte, ¿quieres volver a la cama? (will come pick you up, do you want to go back to bed),” “Food?” you questioned, “¿Quieres algo de comida? (Do you want some food?)” “Sì”

“Good Morning, elskling, let's take you down and get you something to eat, I think Lucy will be here soon.” Ingrid picked you up, trying not to disturb the two older women, having a feeling they needed some sleep, Alexia’s arm was still wrapped around your sisters as Leah’s head rested on Alexia’s shoulder.

______

“Find yourself in an odd position when you woke up?” Lucy teased her captains as they walked down the stairs.

“No, the only emotion that went through us was panic,” “someone moved Bebita” Leah started and Alexia finished.

“We came over to cook breakfast, because we do that after every game day, have breakfast, us two and Alexia and y/n, sometimes others join too” Ingrid gestured towards Lucy, “But we went looking for you both and she woke up when we found you all, said she was hungry, but we let you sleep, because we didn’t know how much of the night you had slept and how much of if you spent, well…” Ingrid continued

“But we fed her, and she has kept it down so far so that is good,” Leah nodded. 

“So she has only vomited once since, that's good, considering how hard she hit the post. Also thank you all so much, for everything you do for her, I-” “Le,” you said slightly panicked, as you woke up, hands wrapped around your stomach, its safe to say that moment marked the end of their ‘peaceful’ morning.

[rowdyluv]

Little Things jh⁸⁶

pt 1

Summary: in which Jack agrees to help his close friend with losing her virginity.

Warnings: 18+, mdni experienced x inexperienced, sort of friends sort of already lovers, blurred lines of relationship, use y/n & y/n/n, pet names,

Word Count: 2.3k+

Notes: this is my first time publishing a smut fic here, not my first time writing smut. i did not write it how i wanted to nor how i usually write it. much more tame than what I would typically do. didn’t want to full send on the first one. please be kind.

- you are responsible for what any and all media you interact with on the internet. this piece of fiction is intended for those 18 years of age and older ONLY. if you are a minor, do not continue to read below the cut.

Read part 2 here

"What the hell are we doing?" Jack's voice was a mix of surprise and excitement, his breath hot against her ear. “Are you positive you want this?” He has to ask her again for the twelfth time this evening. He keeps hoping her answers continues to be yes, but it would end him if they go through with this little “one time” rendezvous and she never spoke to him again. Y/n is his go to person for every little thing. It used to be his mom, until she came into his life around age 17.

“Yes Jacky, i wouldn’t have brought it up if i didn’t think i could handle the after effect.” Y/n ran her hand through his hair and kissed his cheek. Jack turned to face her as they sat in traffic.

“I have to be sure, I can’t just jump into bed with someone as important as you are to me and it end up hurting you. Or you wake up tomorrow and think it’s a mistake, I can’t do it like that.” He babbles, as he turns his attention back to the road when traffic starts moving again allowing him to pull into his apartment’s parking lot. “I’m not saying I won’t have sex with you, how many times have we almost before?”

“I figured that, if I can’t get out of my head to have sex with someone because im embarrassed that I’m 23 and still a virgin, and my best friend is this self proclaimed sex god. Why not ask him to help me out?” She bit her lower lip for a moment watching Jack’s face for a reaction. “Plus..at least I know he would never hurt me and would listen to me.” Her voice was softer than before, one of her hands turning his face towards her to delicately caress his cheek. Jack flashed her small soft smile that seemed to only ever be reserved for her and his eyes held onto hers.

Jack took a deep breath and swallowed hard. He had never seen his best friend like this before. Desire painted on her features like a masterpiece. For a moment he wondered if she wanted him or if she was only wanting to lose her virginity as her plan proposed. Either way he knew he had to be careful, but the raw, animalistic need coursing through his body was begging for release. He leaned in as if he was going to kiss her before diverting towards her left ear and whispered into, his hot breath sending shivers down her spine, “Just hope I don’t ruin you for all the other guys out there babygirl.” He tried to resist the urge to smirk, knowing that his reputation was a double-edged sword.

Y/n sucked in a shaky breath, squeezing her thighs together a little tighter at the husky draw in his voice. She couldn’t tell him that he already ruined everyone else’s chances the day he entered her life. That he is part of the reason she froze when presented the opportunity to be with someone else is because her and Jack’s confusing relationship.

Jack got out of his car, y/n following his lead grabbing ahold of the hand he held out for her. The two practically ran up the flight of stairs to his front door. Jack was fumbling with his keys to unlock the door, when he noticed y/n had already walked in having used her own.

“If you keep it accessible you don’t have to stand there and wait.” She giggled pulling him in by each side of his jacket.

“Someone’s a bit eager.” Jack mumbles against her lips, kissing her, just as if it’s second nature to them.

“Who wouldn’t be when they’re about to be with the Jack Hughes.” Y/n taunted, and that was enough to break Jack’s ego.

The two stumbled into the dimly lit bedroom, the soft glow of the bedside lamp that’s always left on casting shadows across the room. The floorboards creaked beneath their weight as they approached the bed, the anticipation thick in the air. Jack’s eyes roamed over her, taking in every inch of her body, his gaze lingering on the spot where her shirt had ridden up, revealing the smooth skin of her stomach. He reached out and traced the outline of her belly button with his thumb, watching her eyes flutter closed and her chest rise and fall with each quickened breath.

Slow Rowdy, keep it slow. She’s not some slut you’ve brought home from the bar after a game. She’s y/n. Babygirl, sweet girl. Your girl. Go slow.

His mind was reeling, chanting the same mantra over and over, not just because it was her first time, but because he didn’t want to screw this up. He had to make it perfect for her. Prefect because y/n is his girl. Or should be his girl.

He leaned down and captured her mouth in a deep, exploratory kiss, his tongue dancing with hers, still able to taste the fruity cocktail she had a dinner and the faint hint of the mint leaf she chewed on to be silly on her breath. His hands traveled to her exposed waist, momentarily teasing the uncovered skin, before gently lifting her shirt over her head and tossing it aside. Skimming his hands lightly up her sides and around her back, he unhooked her bra with trembling fingers like he was 17 all over again. Looking up at her face to stare into her eyes, he let go of her bra, letting it fall to the floor. He slowly stepped back to appreciate her beauty.

Y/n’s cheeks flushed a deep crimson as she stood before him, vulnerable and exposed. Out of sheer instinct her arms raised to cross in front of her body in attempt to hide herself from the attention she was receiving.

Jack growled, “don’t you dare do that.” He let out an annoyed huff of air through his nostrils.

“You need to be comfortable in front of whoever you’re going to be fucking y/n” He had ahold of one of her arms moving it away from her body. “so let me see how beautiful you are.” Jack was holding eye contact with her so intently it was hard for her to not believe him when he called her beautiful. Jack was getting harder as every second passed. “You are beautiful. With clothes, without clothes. With make up, without make up. I don’t know why you’re doing this.”

He stepped closer to her, hand palming her neck to pull her to him. “Sweet girl, never cover up in front me like that again. Got it?” She nodded yes, he ran his hand down from her neck to her breast. His other hand tracing up her body to mimic his other. Her heart was racing under his palms. Jack kissed her neck, feeling her pulse beat faster and faster. He whispered into her ear, “Trust me, okay? I’ve got you.” Y/n nodded, unable to form coherent words. “If you need me to stop, or you want to stop just say so.” He reminds her, before continuing his pursuit of kisses down her neck.

Jack’s touch was feather-light yet firm, making her body quiver with every caress. He kissed her collarbone, then trailed his lips down to her breasts, flicking his tongue over her nipples. Y/n’s knees buckled slightly and she gripped the back of his neck to keep herself upright. He chuckled against her skin, enjoying her wholesome reactions. “You’re so sensitive already,” he murmured, and she felt a thrill of pleasure at his words. The vibrato of his voice adding a new sense of pleasure. “Just wait until my mouth is here babygirl.” He whispered while his lips still around the sensitive bud, moving his hand to cup over her clothed pussy. Y/n let out a surprised yelp earning a husky chuckle from Jack.

Jack began his journey of kisses down her stomach, his teeth grazing her skin ever so slightly, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake. He unbuttoned her pants and slid them down her legs, leaving her in just her panties. He paused for a moment, looking up at her with the ever pending question in his eyes. She nodded with her bottom lip pulled between her teeth, giving him the green light to proceed.

He hooked his fingers into the waistband of her underwear and tugged them down. Her legs trembled as the cool air hit her skin. He kissed and nibbled her inner thighs, moving closer to the sweet juncture of her legs.

Y/n’s breathing was heavy, her eyes half-closed in anticipation. Jack’s mouth was hot and wet on her, exploring every part of her with a gentle but insistent pressure. He licked, kissed, and nipped at her folds, teasing her clit with the tip of his tongue. She let out moan, her hands clasping over her mouth shocked at how loud she was. He looked up at her from where his mouth was lapping at her sensitive clit, a smirk playing on his lips.

She was driving him crazy, and she hadn’t done anything to him. Jack had never been a guy to be a fan of long sessions of oral, but for he could stay here all day to watch her reactions.

“Y/n, I’m going to have to stretch you out a little, so I’m going to use my fingers”

Her eyes hazed over in ecstasy she nodded in acknowledgment with a tiny okay slipping through her lips.

Jack pressed his middle finger in and returning his mouth back too. He continued his ministrations, bringing her closer and closer to the edge. She was pulsating against him by the time he added a second finger.

Her legs began to shake, and she could feel what she believed to be the beginnings of an orgasm building within her.

“Ja..Jack.” She whimpered, her fingers combed through his hair tightening just the slightest.

“I think?” Was the last two words she uttered before a loud moan over took her voice, her legs shaking led to her near collapse. Jack caught her and looked up at her with the biggest grin on his face.

Jack’s eyes met hers, and she could see the pride in them. He had never had someone come apart like that before, especially not from just his mouth and hands. He stood from the floor and kissed her deeply, y/n tasting herself on his lips.

She could feel his erection pressing against her. She reached down in an attempt to feel him.

“Not so fast baby girl. This is all about you, not about me.” Jack scolds grabbing her wondering hand and as he gently lays her on the bed, his body hovering over hers. Fumbling with his belt and button to his shorts he quickly stripped himself of his shorts. Y/N reaches for the hem of his shirt pulling it up and over his head.

Y/n could feel the heat radiating off of Jack’s body as he positioned himself between her legs. He kissed her neck, his hands exploring her body, like he was trying memorize her. His hand made its way to her still very senses core, his thumb circling her clit when he comes across it. Traveling lower he pumps his fingers in her a couple of more times. She was soaking wet, ready for him. He reached for the bedside drawer and pulled out a condom, rolling it on with surprising ease.

Slow Rowdy. More now so than before. Slow. Do not ruin our precious girl. Jack.

Jack was positioned at the entrance of her wet, sex but the resistance he met was not giving.

“Y/n? Hey, baby girl. You’ve got to relax for me.” Jack spoke softly and caressed her cheek. His heart lurching in his chest when a tear wiped away with his caress.

Her eyes fluttered open to meet his gaze, when his hand touched her cheek. He watched her closely, waiting for her nod of approval. When it came, Jack repositioned himself at her entrance, his tip teasing the wetness of her sex. He pushed in just a bit, watching her eyes widen before he retreated. “Relax, babygirl. If you’re sure you want this, It’ll be okay before you know it, I promise,” he murmured, trying to soothe her nerves.

He pushed in again, this time a little further. She gasped, her nails digging into his back. He stilled, giving her body time to adjust. He kissed her forehead, her nose, her cheeks, whispering words of comfort. Slowly, inch by inch, he entered her, her tightness gripping him like a vice. It took everything in him not to bottom out. He could feel her tense up, her muscles contracting around him, and he had to be so careful not to go too fast.

She was doing her best not to allow anymore tears to collect in her eyes, but the initial pain was beginning to get the better of her.

“Jacky, it hurts,” she whimpered, her voice barely above a whisper.

Jack stilled, his eyes filled with concern. He leaned down to kiss her gently, whispering, “do you want to stop? I’ll stop right now.” Jack held a hand to her cheek, running his thumb across her cheek bone.

“N, n, no.” Y/n stuttered over choked back tears.

Jack held in a sigh and instead nodded. “It’s okay sweet girl, I’ve got you. Just breathe, let your body get used to it.”

He waited patiently for her body to relax. Once her body relaxed everything else would follow. Y/n gave a small nod of approval to continue, Jack pushed in a little more. Her eyes squeezed shut, and she bit her bottom lip, but she didn’t protest.

With every shallow thrust, Jack felt the resistance in her body slowly give way to acceptance. He kept his pace torturously slow, making sure she felt every inch of him as he filled her up. He knew he was larger than average, and he didn’t want to cause her unnecessary pain. His hand found hers, intertwining their fingers, giving her something to squeeze as she adjusted to the new sensation.

When he saw her eyelids relax from the tight, closed grip she had held them in, and flutter open to be glossed over, he knew she was beginning to enjoy it.

“Feeling better sweet girl?” Jack whispered as he kissed along the shell of her left ear.

Y/n nodded, taking a deep breath to steady herself. The pain had subsided to a dull ache, and in its place was a growing sense of fullness and pleasure. Jack began to move more deliberately, his strokes becoming deeper and more forceful. She could feel herself stretching around him, her body slowly getting used to his size. With every thrust, the pleasure grew, mixing with the lingering discomfort until it was all she could focus on.

Her hips began to rock in sync with his movements, her body responding instinctively to the rhythm he set. She wrapped her legs around his waist, urging him closer, needing more of him. Jack groaned, his restraint slipping as he felt her tighten around him. He was losing himself in the girl he quietly loved. He increased his pace, his movements becoming more demanding. The sound of their skin slapping together filled the room, along with their ragged breaths and moans.

Jack’s hands roamed her body, gripping her hips as he drove into her with more urgency. He could feel her walls quivering around him, her orgasm approaching. He leaned down and captured her mouth again, swallowing her cries of pleasure. He knew he was close, too, the tension coiling in his lower abdomen, begging for release.

Y/n’s nails scored down his back, leaving trails of heat in their wake. She was lost in the sensation, her inexperience forgotten in the haze of both of their desire. She could feel another climax building, more intense than the first. Her body arched off the bed, her back bowing as Jack’s hips pistoned into her. He was relentless, pushing her to the brink of ecstasy and beyond.

Jack’s muscles were tight with the effort of holding back his own release, but he could feel her tightening around him, her body begging for more. He reached between them, finding her clit and rubbing it with the pad of his thumb. She bucked against him, her hips rising to meet his every thrust. The sight of her, lost in pleasure, was almost too much for him to handle.

“Y/n/n, baby you’re fucking perfect.” Jack was enamored with her and he couldn’t hide it now.

“Fuck, y/n/n I’m so close, if you keep tensing your pretty little pussy like that around me I’m going to cum soon.” He blabbers out before dropping his mouth to one of her nipples, the hand in between them still working her clit.

Jack’s thumb flicked and rolled her clit while his tongue flicked and rolled her nipple. She was lost in the waves of pleasure crashing through her body. The pain had been forgotten, replaced by the sweet agony of need. She was close, so close to the edge, and she didn’t want to fall without him.

“Jacky, I’m...I’m going to...” she panted, her eyes searching his for understanding.

“Come for me, baby,” he encouraged, his voice low and gruff with desire. “Let go, I’ve got you.”

Her eyes fluttered shut, and she let out his name in a scream of pleasure as she came apart in his arms, her tight pussy convulsing around him. Jack felt the walls of her pussy pulse and clench, and similarly to her with the drop of her name, he followed her over the edge. His orgasm ripping through him like lightning. He buried his face in her neck, his teeth grazing her skin as he pumped his load into the condom, his release hot and intense.

For a moment, they lay there, both panting heavily, their bodies entwined in a sticky mess of sweat and passion. The aftermath of their shared pleasure was a mix of euphoria and disbelief. Y/n’s mind was a whirlwind of sensations and emotions, but one thing was clear: she had never felt anything like this before. The sex or the new connection with Jack, that had a new feeling attached.

Jack carefully pulled out, his eyes never leaving hers. He removed the condom and disposed of it before coming back to lay beside her. He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her forehead. She felt safe, cared for, and utterly satisfied in a way she hadn’t known was possible. Her hand slid down to rest on his chest, feeling the steady thump of his heart beneath her palm.

Something she always does before they fall asleep, as if to signify his heart races around her too, when one of them sleeps at the other’s.

They lay there for a few moments, catching their breath and processing what had just happened. The room was silent except for the sound of their breathing and the occasional rustle of the sheets. Y/n couldn’t help but feel a twinge of sadness that it was over. She didn’t want this moment to end, but she knew it couldn’t last forever.

“Jack..I don’t want this to be a one time thing.” Y/n’s rushed out

“Sweet girl, if you wanted me all to yourself you should’ve just said so. You didn’t have to go this far. You didn’t have to use your virginity as an excuse to get closer to me.” Jack’s words were so softly spoken and held intense emotions. “For the record though, you’re not going anywhere now that you’ve said something. You’re my girl now.”

Y/n grinned at Jack. He kissed her forehead and pulled her close to him. “I wish we could have talked about this before I took the most valuable precious thing away from you, but I’m glad it was me and not some other asshat.”

“It’s always been you Jack, since we met at 17. Why would I ever let anyone else have a chance.”

Jack’s chest swelled with pride and affection, just like it did when they were 20 and he kissed her for the first during some silly party game. He had whispered those exact words to her after the kiss, he didn’t think she’d remember them with how drunk she was. “It’s always been you babygirl, since we met at 17. Why would I ever let anyone else have a chance?”

Back then he had never felt more connected to someone during a kiss and today he had never felt more connected to someone during sex than he did in that moment with y/n. He kissed her forehead again, feeling the happiest he had in a while.

read part 2 here

[thrillered]

Spencer at a " Y/N L/N is dead | The funeral roast" pretty please🫶

(Bonus points if after roasting reader he gets all sentimental and reiterates that he CANNOT live without them or he'll just die on the spot)

"Y/N is dead. | The funeral roast" | Spencer Agnew x Reader

this was so fun to write! I hope you enjoy it!

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You were sitting in the blue velvet coffin, a bouquet of fake black roses in your hands and tears in your eyes. You were in the middle of shooting your funeral, surrounded by your friends and coworkers as they roasted the hell out of you. Right now Shayne was playing the CEO of converse, crying over who was going to keep them in business now that you were gone. You looked down at your pair of custom smosh platform converse you were wearing that Ian had bought you for your 3 year ‘smoshiversary’. 

Shayne finished his bit, earning claps from throughout the room. You peaked one eye open, looking to see who was going next. Tommy was stepping up to the podium, his signature lace funeral hat on. 

“Friends, coworkers… those who somehow managed to deal with Y/N, I am here to read the final will of Y/N L/N.” He began, pulling a piece of paper out of his long black leather jacket; a dig at your favorite coat you thrifted. “She left a lot of things for those she loved, I will not be reading those today.” 

You laughed, peeking at the offended looks on everyone's faces. 

“Courtney, Y/N leaves you her sense of humor. There wasn’t much of it but it was stolen from you to begin with.” Courtney gasped while Shayne let out a pfft. He turned his attention to Shayne, “Shayne, everyone knew of the “fake” beef the two of you played up on camera… so to you she left her 17 pairs of platform converse, this way you don’t have to look up to her… maybe now you'll see eye to eye.” 

You pulled a hand over your mouth, attempting to muffle the loud cackle that was escaping you. “Well damn.” Shayne sputtered. 

“To Angela Y/N leaves her entire Le Creuset cookware set. Everyone knew you were jealous of it.” 

“Okay that’s not fair, it’s literally all light blue, it's gorgeous!” Angela exclaimed.

“And finally Y/N leaves Spencer her heart… and yet he’ll still probably ask if she actually loves him.” 

“That's crazy…” You huffed, through fits of laughter. The entire crew clapping and ‘ohhh’ing at Spencer. 

Tommy left the podium, grabbing your knees as he walked by the coffin, knowing you hated it. “I gotcha!” He sneered, making you yelp.

The only person left to speak was Spencer. He was in a full suit and tie, dressed for an actual funeral. He looked really good, you just wanted to stare at him. He approached the podium, a large binder in his hands. 

“In honor of Y/N’s memory I would like to start by going through some of my favorite memories with her in this photo album.” Spencer declared, opening to a middle page of the album. “This is when Y/N and I met.” He turned the binder around, showing a picture from your first day at Smosh. 

Awe’s could be heard around the room. You scrunched your brows, not trusting Spencer to only be nice. “Then I got to know her…” He hesitated, pulling an awkward and tight grin across his face. “Then she passed. That’s my favorite” He showed a picture of you sitting in the coffin, clearly taken today.

“What the fuck?” you asked, “How did you print that so quickly?” 

“The dead don’t talk.” Erin reminded from the seats, earning a middle finger from you. 

“Anyway, time for the eulogy.” Spencer continued, tossing the album away from him, a loud clap echoing in the room as the binder hit the ground. “The world went quiet when Y/N died… mostly because she couldn’t cackle like a banshee anymore… frankly? Pretty peaceful.” 

“Oh my god.” Amanda laughed, covering her face.

“I think we can all agree that Y/N was an integral part of this company and an integral part of this cast.” Everyone nodded, Angela pretending to wipe away tears. “I mean.. Who else is gonna be worse Courtney? Or shorter Amanda? Or Taller Angela? Or less clever Arasha? Or Shayne if he was a lady barista who wanted to be a skater?” 

“Jesus Christ man.” Shayne said, shaking his head in confusion.

“He’s not wrong.” Courtney agreed, putting a hand on Shayne’s shoulder.

“But things will never be the same without her. I am reminded of her constantly… mostly because her hair is everywhere. I don’t know how she still has hair, she literally sheds like a husky; whines like one too.” 

You were shaking your head, holding in a laugh, not wanting to give Spencer the win of your laughter. 

“But seriously, I love you Y/N. I don’t know what I would do without you, I think I would actually die. Please don’t make me sleep on the couch tonight.” Spencer admitted, making eye contact with you, a smile on his face. “You mean the world to me.” 

Spencer sat down. You waited a dramatic few seconds before sucking in a large breath of air, pretending to wake from the dead. “How long was I out for?” you asked, making everyone laugh. “That was some… nice?... things you guys said about me, thanks guys.” 

“Luckily I just came from hell so I can handle the heat… I wonder if you guys will do the same,” you smirked, pulling a folded piece of paper out of your bra, unfolding it and reading it aloud, “Call me sometime, satan? Oops, wrong paper!” You joked, tucking the paper away. 

“Man what the hell?” Spencer asked.

“Well that's where she was apparently.” Shayne reminded, making himself laugh. 

“Okay this is the right one,” You began, unfolding a larger paper. “Tommy… ur gay. Courtney… ur gay. Shayne….” You stopped, staring at him for a moment before simply moving on. “Angela… me and your mom genuinely text, and I want you to think about that.” 

“That’s actually devastating.” Shayne cackled.

“Amanda… we need to hang out more.” You insisted. “But maybe just at my house, I’m tired of having to climb a beanstalk to come see you” You joked, turning Amanda's sly grin into a face of shock. “Erin… Erin Erin Erin….I lied when I said I lost that blue shirt I borrowed… I still have it and wear it regularly.” You admitted. “And you’re not getting it back.” 

“You bitch!” Erin gasped, disgust crossing her features as you blew her a kiss. 

“Last.. and least!” You emphasized, “Spencer.. My best friend, my boyfriend, and my other half… if I’m gone you’re a glass half empty. If you’re gone, I’m a glass half full.” You informed. “That’s all to say: You’re Y/N L/N’s boyfriend, and that’s your most impressive accomplishment.”

Everyone laughed, teasing Spencer with an eruption of ‘ooh’s and agreements. 

“Seriously though, I love you all so much. Honestly the specificity of each roast made me really happy, you guys really know me and that means a lot to me.” You smiled, looking around the room to each and every one of your closest friends. “And a special thank you to Spencer for loving me, even through all the quirks and flaws that were mentioned here, I love you.” You finished, suddenly pretending to have a hard time breathing before collapsing into dead weight. Then quickly waking back up, “You’re still sleeping on the couch though.” You noted, staying ‘dead’ this time.

[avoxrising]

The Feral One • Chapter 4

Finnick x Reader

Series Masterlist Link

I’m on a roll with my writing! Was able to grind out another chapter today. Lmk what you guys think of the story so far :)

Content warnings - descriptions of death and lots of angst

My love, you have my heart for all of eternity. And if I die in that arena, my last thought will be of your lips.

You and Finnick had never been anything more than friends, although friends feels like an understatement to describe what you are to each other. After your games, you lived in Victors Village with your family, doing your best to heal.

When your family was killed after your victory tour, the victors deemed that you weren’t stable enough to live alone. You were only 17 and had nobody left to take care of you.

Finnick had volunteered to move in temporarily until you were better, but better never happened. He felt guilty about how he mentored you. He had told you that what you did in the arena didn’t matter. It didn’t matter how many you killed, or how you killed, it was a game and to play it you had to be entertaining and win sponsors.

So, you entertained. You joined the career pack, hoping they would take out most of the other tributes for you so there would be fewer for you to worry about. That only worked for a week.

One week in, your district partner was killed and you were on the outs. The alliance would turn on you at any moment, so you had to strike first.

You lay awake in the arena, nearly two weeks into the games, as the pair from one were on watch. They thought you were asleep, just as you had hoped they would.

“Let’s kill her now,” Gimena stated.

“How?” Aries replied.

“I’ll wake her up and ask her to go pee with me. You’ll follow and provide back up if the fight drags on longer than necessary,” she told him.

“I doubt you’ll need me but go ahead,” Aries chuckled. “She’s all yours.”

You can still feel Gimena’s hand on your arm, shaking you awake.

“Hey,” she whispered. “I need to go pee. You’re coming with me as guard.”

You nod and follow her into the trees, preparing to use the knife hidden in your sleeve. She makes you walk in front of her, plotting how to attack you. She wasn’t fast enough.

You quickly whip around and fling your knife into her throat, killing her immediately. Because there was no scream, Aries thought the cannon was yours, so he didn’t panic.

If you were going to kill the careers, it had to be now. You removed your only knife from Gimena’s body and climbed into one of the trees. Hopefully only Aries would come looking. It’s hard to kill three people with one knife.

Aries came crashing through the forest a few minutes later, calling out for Gimena. You waited until he stumbled upon her body before flinging your knife into it the side of his head, directly below his ear. The canon wasn’t immediate, but it was quick.

You hopped down from the tree to retrieve your knife, only to be tackled to the ground by Floyd, the boy from 2.

“What the hell did you do four?” he shouted, pushing his spear down onto your throat to choke you. What worried you wasn’t the spear, but the fact that you couldn’t spot Hals, his partner.

You wiggled your fingers in an attempt to reach the knife but it was too far. Oxygen was leaving your body and you needed to think fast.

Your sudden growl caught him off guard, causing him to momentarily lose focus. The pressure on your throat let up just enough for you to turn your head to the side and spot Aries’ sword stuck under his body, barely within reach.

Hals arrived on the scene just in time to watch Floyd’s head roll away from his body. She let out a yell before charging at you, machete in hand. She managed to slice up your cheek, but found herself dead moments later. You had jumped on her and beaten her to a pulp, not caring that the machete was digging into your face.

Those four weren’t your first kills in the arena, nor were they your last. Nobody else in the cage with you stood a chance.

“Hey,” Finnick sighs as he enters your room. He’s still in his outfit from the interview. “Can we talk?”

You nod and he comes to sit on the edge of the bed.

“I need to ask something very important of you in the arena,” he starts and you already feel yourself getting nauseous with anxiety. “I need you to help me keep Katniss and Peeta alive.”

This request shocks you. Finnick had told you about potentially allying with 3, 7 and 12 but asking you to control yourself around a firey person like Katniss was like asking a baby not to cry near loud noises.

You shake your head at him, hoping he understands how you can’t promise him anything of that sort. In reality, you can’t even promise him that you’ll be in control of yourself enough to not hurt him.

“Y/N,” Finnick sighs. “There’s a plan to break some of us out of the arena and take us far away from the capital where we can help change Panem. But, we need Katniss and Peeta alive in order for it to work.”

“Just kill me now,” you whisper. “I can’t do any of this.”

“Yes you can!” Finnick states in frustration. “I know it’s hard but I’ll be with you the whole time. We will get through this together.”

You give him a meek “ok” to quell his nerves, but deep down you know that this wouldn’t work. You know what you have to do.

“Can you stay tonight?” you ask. This takes him off guard as you’ve never let him stay in the same room as you at night, worried you might hurt him.

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” he asks, knowing his nightmares might set you off.

“No,” you sigh. “Sorry. Forget I ever asked. Goodnight Finnick”

“Goodnight”

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[itshype]

How I Met Your Brother (DC x DP)

Dan joins the Justice League - not as part of his rehabilitation, but as a reward for doing so well.

Tucker makes the grave mistake of mentioning Dan in front of Jazz. And as an eldest sister myself I would not be happy about an alternate version of my sibling being left completely alone in the world, no support, no family to then be turned into a psychopath. And I would be furious for them to then be imprisoned - not for life but for all time?

However, unlike me, Jazz is the world's foremost authority on ghost psychology. She has Dan out of his Thermos and in a larger enclosure within the week.

Now, a lot of fics have Jazz as a magical therapist who can say a few sentences and make any bad guy cry. Sorry, not today though.

First, they resocialise Dan like a feral cat (solitary confinement does make people get loopy), sitting outside his enclosure and hanging out, doing homework etc. This sort of gets him to figure out emotionally that he's no longer in the timeline where everyone he ever cared about died.

Danny discusses with him how many nightmares he's had over just the idea of losing his entire support network the way Dan did and he can't imagine what he's been through. But no emotions are not, in fact superior to having negative emotions.

After a few months, he decides that he does in fact want to actively try and get better. He goes to a therapist (because family members can't do therapy!!!) who's just unhinged enough to get a kick out of counselling a ghost from an alternate timeline.

There's only one relapse. Clockwork fixed it and they don't talk about it.

A month or so later they let him out of the enclosure for good. They offer to symbolically destroy it but Dan thinks they should keep it just in case.

While Dan's humanity has returned, his actual human half is gone forever. But he's interested in doing something with himself. He can't get a GED, or a degree, or be an astronaut. Maybe something in entertainment?

Tucker makes the grave mistake of mentioning that the Justice League headquarters are in space. Dan isn't as powerful anymore now he's no longer a halfa, but he knows he's handy in a fight. He loves space and due to having them repeatedly and ineffectively implemented against himself - a deep knowledge of international war tactics.

NGL, this isn't where I thought this story was going. But Dan is now an international politics, war policy and foreign affairs expert, I guess.

He helps a fair bit on the team, but his key contributions are his encyclopaedic predictions of how different international communities will react to events. If an out of control meta in Paris takes down the Eiffel Tower, he predicts which countries will immediately 'crack down' on their superpowered citizens - that sort of thing. It's invaluable for their PR team and young meta safety.

He's a friendly guy, doesn't judge anyone for losing control of their powers or going 'too far' on a villain who hurt their friends and family. And he never shuts up about his kid brother who is apparently also his best friend. He briefly mentions a baby sister he's never met and that makes everyone pretty sad.

He doesn't consider this Jazz his sister. He's already had a sister named Jazz and isn't looking for a 1:1 replacement. This Jazz is more like a mum-friend. However, he never had a Danny or an Ellie in his last life.

"My little brother told me about the trick to this level in Doomed 17, want me to explain what you're missing?"

"Sorry, I really can't possess you, even for 'anti mind-control' training. That isn't how overshadowing works, you can't become immune without exposure to ectoplasm in dangerous doses. No, I can't get you some pure ecto, my baby brother would kick my ass to hell."

"Yeah, my baby bro and I both wanted to be astronauts, I died so it's not in the cards for me anymore, but he has a real shot still, we're all rooting for him!"

Most Justice League members think he's a dead eldest brother with living siblings he's still in close contact with.

It's all fun and games until he tries to take a bullet for Batman during an ambush and it's actually an amnesia ray designed to make Batman forget about a specific case until the bad guy can complete his plan.

"I killed you all before, and I will do it again."

[winterchimez]

Starboy | Kim Sunwoo

SUMMARY: you always had one goal in mind: to do your job properly and call it day when it's done and dusted. until on one fateful night when you accidentally exchange phones with the one and only Kim Sunwoo, and your ordinary PR life is going to take a turn for both the good and the bad.

PAIRING: guitarist!Sunwoo x f!reader

GENRE: band au, fluff, angst, slight suggestive, some crack (bcs it's Kim Sunwoo we're talking about 💁‍♀️)

WARNINGS: nc-17, slow-burn, petnames (girlie, sweetheart, princess, kitten), man's way too obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun, both y/n and Sunwoo bicker A LOT, ofc he's obv flirty as hell here too, ngl he's lowkey kinda a jerk, alcohol, kissing, making out, they both get drunk 😃, they both go through traumatic experiences when it comes to relationships ❤️‍🩹 (so yknow a lot of figuring things out), arguments, mentions about sleeping pills, cursing, parties whoopie, a couple of flashback scenes, in this fic we say amen hallelujah to Eric Sohn (he's the friend we all need let's be real)

WORD COUNT: 21,742

A/N: happiest dearest birthday to my beloved dongsaeng @justalildumpling 💗 i remember we were once talking about sunwoo x starboy (bcs of this whole photoshoot he did for mediheal 😮‍💨) so here it is 🫣 once again, shoutout to @drunkdrazed @momhwa-agenda @from-izzy @sungbeam @kyaroscuro @mosviqu for literally helping me (from brainstorming, beta reading, hyping me up, keeping me in check ashnjsd, choosing the banner, and literally just being the best supporters ever yall are amazing ilysm 😙😙😙🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻)

Act 1 (하나): Starboy

“What do you mean you’re not going? It’s The Boyz, Y/N!” 

Your roommate immediately shoves the VIP backstage passes right back at you, convincing you that you’re out of your mind to reject such an offer. 

“You know me, Flo. I just don’t really get involved in work-related affairs. Frankly, I much prefer hanging out with my close circle instead.” 

“You’re no fun. That’s why you barely get to know anyone in the entertainment world. Imagine all of the big celebrities you could make! Hell, sometimes even get concert tickets for free or even attend after-parties!” Your roommate was now grabbing your shoulders and shaking them vigorously, not caring about all the excuses you’ve come up with to prove your point of just staying home after a long day. 

“Come with me, come with me, come with me!” Flo whined, and at this point, if you weren’t going to acknowledge her efforts, she might as well be shaking you till your head fell off. 

“Alright, alright! Just this one time, then; what even is so good about them? They’re just an ordinary band like the others-”

Flo immediately places a finger to shush you up. “Now that’s where I’m going to stop you, young lady. The Boyz are very much different than all of the groups out there, and I’ll make sure you realise how much you have been missing out this whole time.” 

“If you fail to impress me, you’re treating me to ten cups of black tea with cheese foam from Machi Machi.”

With that, your roommate simply just smirked. “Consider it done.”

It turns out that your roommate wasn’t kidding when she mentioned about The Boyz being a hotshot. 

You were now standing in front of Watcha Hall, a fairly well-known concert hall that wasn’t too big or too small. These halls were usually meant for rising artists currently out on the market. 

As much as you were taken aback (since you usually dealt with smaller bands or artists with smaller venues), you quickly shook your unnecessary thoughts away before entering the hall. With no time to waste, you hastily made your way backstage and greeted your team of colleagues you’ll be working with for the day. 

Thankfully, the organisers had sorted everything out beforehand, so there weren’t too many miscommunications or tasks that seemed too complicated to fulfil. You were pretty much enjoying your time going around the venue, making sure to check that everything was right before the concert. 

It was definitely slightly challenging compared to the smaller events you were used to, but it wasn’t too hard when you had a good team of colleagues working alongside you. 

Just as you were about to wrap things up, you clearly heard the backdoor creak open, and a few echoes followed behind. As soon as you turned to look, you noticed a group of individuals carrying their instruments began entering the venue one by one, protected and surrounded by their managers and bodyguards. 

It was The Boyz. 

Immediately, they wasted no time, quickly coming around and lined up in a straight line before extending their greetings to all the staff members they would be working with for the day. You noticed how they ensured that they greeted every single staff member without missing anyone, including you.

They would definitely pass as models if they weren’t in a band. 

Every single one of them was breathtakingly beautiful and had good mannerisms. However, one of them immediately caught your attention: the male with striking dark black hair with a kuromi band-aid on his face. 

Something about him lured you in, and you couldn’t pinpoint why exactly that was. Was it his aura? The good looks? Or the way he presented himself? 

You were snapped back into reality when one of your colleagues approached you to tell you about a minor issue that had occurred backstage and required your assistance. Instantly, you took one look at the band before each of them headed straight to their dressing room to change before coming back up on stage for rehearsals. 

Just then, you could’ve sworn that the male you laid your eyes upon actually gave you a little smile followed by a wink before he disappeared into the dark. 

What exactly did that mean?

Rehearsals went fairly well, and everything was done a few hours earlier than expected. You had some free time, so you took a little stroll outside at the park near the venue. Obviously, you exited through the back since you wouldn’t want to bump into the thousands of fans lining up to enter the hall.

The little walk was a refreshing moment for you, and you needed it badly, especially after going through months of endless events without having much time for yourself like this. 

While strolling through the park, you finally found yourself on an empty bench, perfect for rest while enjoying the breeze. Right then, you decided to whip out your phone and search for The Boyz. You were curious to know why exactly your roommate was obsessed with them. 

After some digging, you realise that they have built quite a reputation for themselves: winning multiple awards, being nominated for band of the year, and taking up the role of ambassadors of many beauty brands currently on the market. 

Once again, you couldn’t deny that they were all relatively good-looking and would strive to be a celebrity without a doubt. However, your eyes fall upon the man who caught your attention during rehearsals. As you scrolled further down, you came to learn of his name. 

Kim Sunwoo, the guitarist of The Boyz. 

That name now sounded slightly too familiar for you, though you couldn’t pinpoint why exactly it was that. As much as you tried recalling from the back of your mind, only a hazy recollection of that name rings in your head, and nothing else helpful popped up. 

Now that you know that this man had something to do with you, it is best to dig in further about him and ask your childhood best friend who knew you best—from your personality to your likes and dislikes. Immediately, you texted her before deciding it was time for you to head back to the venue to prepare for the show. 

“Hey Lyla, would you mind searching up about this man named Kim Sunwoo to see if you can find anything interesting?”

The venue was filled with fans from the front stage to the back, and the same went on the upper floor. You were surprised that their popularity wasn’t just for the show; they had fans ranging from teens to middle-aged. Moreover, you noticed a few prominent celebrities sitting in the crowd for the night, sitting in the VIP zone with their bodyguards, as if they were not just enjoying but also evaluating the show.

The band members knew exactly that those celebrities, besides their very own fans, had eyes on them. Hence, they knew that they had to give it out all for the night, and they did just that. Their performance was like no other and very different from the ones you were used to, and you were instantly captivated from the beginning of the show. Each member had their unique colours, and they all stood out in their very own ways.

As you continued to listen to their music in a much more precise manner, you noticed how each lyric meant something, as well as the choice of keys, instrumentals, and how each instrument and vocals just seemed to blend and create the perfect song to perform as a group.

Before you knew it, two hours passed so quickly, and the band was now lined up and giving their fans a final bow before going one by one backstage. At this time, it was also your cue to head there, meet them personally, and hopefully get to know them a lot better. 

Sure enough, the backstage was filled with snacks and drinks to fuel the artists and staff after a successful performance. You decided to go for the simple lemonade pop fizzy drink before taking it and heading into the room where everyone was. Once the director made everyone raise their glasses of beverage to do a loud cheer, everyone began dispersing into their groups to catch up with one another. 

Your roommate’s words constantly echoed in your mind: “Go and meet them personally! Do not let your VIP pass go to waste!”. 

That is only if your anxiety wasn’t up the roof. 

You have tried to walk up towards the idols multiple times but have only ended up retreating to the entrance. You had yet to learn what you would say to them upfront. 

Hey, the show was incredible I loved it! Oh my gosh, you looked absolutely stunning in that black leather jacket! 

No, that was way too common. You were sure that every fan would’ve said the same to them. 

After a good 10 minutes of internal battling, you decided that it was best to head back to your accommodations and call it a night. Instantly, you grabbed the phone lying on the glass table near the makeup station, assuming it was yours since you had been looking for it right before the show started. 

It wasn’t unusual for you to misplace your belongings; it was something both Flo and your childhood best friends back in Busan—Lyla and Bella had always commented about you. But since the phone was a dark midnight black, it must be yours since you were the only staff member with an iPhone in that particular colour anyway. 

Little did you know that all it took was one small mistake for you to end up in an awkward situation that would soon follow.

If you could yell at yourself out loud right now, you would certainly do it without a care in the world. Only now that you were out in the dark and it was slightly freezing, you're left squatting down in front of the twenty-four-hour convenience store with the mobile in hand.

How exactly did you end up in this situation? You should have checked the phone thoroughly before bolting out from the concert hall to your hotel. 

As soon as you returned, you tossed all your belongings aside and took a quick, warm shower. You couldn’t care less about wanting to have a nice relaxing salt bath—which you would usually do whenever you get booked into a luxury hotel. You were too exhausted, and all you wanted to do was lie in bed while scrolling through random Instagram reels for the night. 

Immediately after the shower, you wrapped your dripping wet hair up with a towel before plopping down onto the bed, trying to unlock your phone, which was encrypted with your Face ID.

Only this time, the Face ID wasn’t recognised, and the wallpaper differed from the one you had just changed a couple of nights ago. 

This wasn’t your phone. 

Instantly, panic rushed upon you, and you did not know who this phone belonged to. You could head straight back to the concert hall, though you will likely run out of luck since there would only be a couple of security guards left to clear out the space during this late at night.

Or you could try calling your manager or roommate if you remember their mobile numbers before this. 

You were tossing and turning around your bed, not knowing what to do, and worried that whoever had your phone must’ve probably hacked into your system by now. 

No no, they can’t do that! I have tons of important emails and work stuff in there-

Your train of thought was immediately cut off when an unknown number began calling the phone in your possession. You quickly shot up from the bed before taking a deep breath and answering the mysterious phone call. 

“Hey, I think you might’ve gotten my phone instead,” the voice on the other end of the line spoke. 

“Y-Yeah! I’m so sorry. I should’ve checked earlier before I left; I know it’s not right for me to steal-”

“No worries, man. Say, would you mind going to the convenience store near the hotel to exchange our phones back?” 

“C-Certainly! I’ll get dressed now and be there as soon as possible!” 

So all of that happened within the span of half an hour, and you were now waiting patiently outside the convenience store, waiting for whoever the owner is to come as quickly as they can because, frankly, you’re about to start freezing to death at this point. 

After what seemed like a long 10 minutes, you began to hear footsteps approaching your way. You shot up and squinted your eyes to see the individual slowly emerging from the shadows. The moment you landed your eyes on them, your jaw immediately dropped, now knowing who exactly the phone's owner belonged to. 

“K-Kim Sunwoo?!” You scream before the male quickly dashes towards you and cups your mouth with his bare hands. 

“Yes, it’s me. Are you trying to expose me right out here in public?”

“N-No, that wasn’t my intention-” You tried speaking in your muffled voice.

Sunwoo finally lets go before he gave you a little chuckle and reached through his back pocket to hand you your phone back. “Since you accidentally took my phone, why don’t you keep me company for a little while?” 

It took you a little while to process the thought before the alarms started ringing off in your head, and you quickly positioned yourself in defence mode. “Oh hell no, you ain’t touching me, mister. I don’t care if you’re an idol, there’s no way-” 

Sunwoo immediately burst into laughter, laughing so hard that he was now wrapping his arms around his stomach, and tears started forming in his eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous, I’m not a predator.” 

“Well, at least that’s not how it goes in certain cases out there.”

“Girlie, you watch too many crime documentaries. I can assure you that I’m a harmless guitarist who’s just craving for some Neoguri Ramyun.” 

Instantly, you lowered your guard down and straightened your position. “You’re here to eat ramen?” 

“Now, I have no idea why that came as a shocker to you. It’s very common for idols to sneak out in the middle of the night to head to the convenience store for some late-night snack.” 

“How do your managers not notice someone missing from the hotel rooms?” 

“Eh, I have my ways…and no. I’m not telling you,” Sunwoo immediately rejected your advances when you started walking closer to him. 

“Hmph, you’re no fun. Just when I thought I could get some valuable inside scoop from you,” you sulked. 

He scoffed. “You’re a funny one; I like you.” Right after that, he immediately grabs hold of your wrist before dragging you into the convenience store.

“Neoguri Ramyun with red chilli flakes. My treat, and I’ll show you how to cook it properly.”

Act 2 (둘): Party Monster

You were still baffled by that ramen date you had with the one and only Kim Sunwoo the night before. Well, you wouldn’t exactly call it a “date”, but you had no idea how else to describe it properly. 

He was a lot different from how you imagined him to be—very upbeat, someone who loved to crack jokes every chance he got, and hilarious as hell. Honestly, you enjoyed your time with him at the convenience store. He definitely taught you the proper way to make Neoguri Ramyun, even though you insisted that you wanted Shin Ramyun the entire time or some Mala Oden instead. You just never got the hype for Neoguri Ramyun after the countless times that your roommate Flo has forced you to try them. 

But that all changed last night, and you were about to add this to your cart whenever you headed out to do your usual groceries every weekend. You had never seen someone talking about ramen so passionately as he did, and what’s more interesting was that this was coming from an idol, not some random dude you would meet on the streets.

However, you had to constantly argue with the man about not consuming too much of it, and it would be better for him to get some protein in his diet. He would just shrug you off and stand firm with his answer.

“Hey, I once read an article about an elderly man who survived for 50 years by just consuming Neoguri Ramyun. He’s my actual idol if you ask me,” Sunwoo argued. 

“Sure, you’re gonna get high cholesterol the next time I see you,” you spat right into his face. 

“Watch me, girlie. I will still be as fit as I was performing on stage tonight. Or hell, even buffer and healthier than I was before.” 

“You’re insufferable.” 

“And that’s why I get all the girls to like me, sweetheart.” 

That last line would constantly replay in your head, as much as you didn’t want it to. You knew he was just saying it as part of his demeanour, but you couldn’t help but reminisce on your past. 

Because that was what your ex always said, and it turns out those weren’t just empty words. 

You were brought back to reality when you realised you had been overfilling your mug with cold milk, which was now splattered across the dining table. Not wanting your roommate to wake up screaming at the top of her lungs at you, you quickly grabbed the nearest cloth to wipe away all the evidence, chugging down the liquid before you dashed right out the door. 

As you made your way to the local subway, you suddenly felt a ring within the inside pocket of your jacket. You waited until you had gone up the train before taking your phone out to see whatever it was. 

It was a text from Sunwoo. 

As if yesterday still felt like a dream for you, so many questions lingered in your mind about how exactly he got your number until you remembered that you both had swapped phones for a couple of hours before giving them back to their rightful owners. 

As soon as you read his first message, you couldn’t help but form a smile before texting one back eagerly.

that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: good morning, princess. how did you sleep last night? I’m sure that hot warm ramyun definitely gave you a well-rested night. y/n: as if. i had to use the bathroom multiple times this morning because of how spicy you made the broth to be. that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: shame, you don’t have a strong and capable immune system like i do y/n: shut your mouth, mister. or else I’ll report you to your managers about your disappearance last night.  that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: you wouldn’t 🥰 y/n: try me, bitch 😄 that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: feisty. this is why i like you. say, do you wanna catch up some time for dinner? my treat again, of course 😙 y/n: what makes you think that i would risk my life to go out with you in plain sight? unlike you, i clearly care about my job and i wouldn’t want to risk that.  that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: now that’s just rude. i was going to treat you to the newly opened Sheraton Hotel a few blocks away from the concert venue since i had extra vouchers. i guess not anymore- y/n: now why didn’t you say so earlier!! count me in im coming!! 😍 that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: that’s what i like to hear. get yourself ready and send me your location later on, i’ll pick you up tonight at 8 😉

“What do you mean you’re going on a date with the actual Kim Sunwoo?!?!” 

Okay, on second thought. Maybe you shouldn’t have spilt the tea with your roommate just yet. 

“It’s not a date, Flo. He’s just treating me to a meal for returning his phone back to him,” you answered while digging through your wardrobe for what to wear for the night. 

“Umm, hello? The Sheraton Hotel? That’s a fancy place where people go for candlelight dinners! He’s clearly onto something.” 

“You read too many romance novels. There’s no way I’m getting involved in any of those fiascoes. I’m just there for the free food.” 

“Whatever you say, ma’am. You clearly want to impress the guy himself,” Flo pointed to the black slim-fit dress you picked and a sparkly cardigan to keep yourself warm. 

“Hey, what’s wrong with being all glammed up? After all, it’s been a while since I’ve felt this pumped,” you laughed before heading straight to your makeup desk to get started. “Besides, I think I’ve had enough moping episodes, and I’m ready to head back into the party scene.” 

“The party scene? Oh hell no, don’t tell me you’re going to bring Sunwoo to your favourite clubs-” 

You turned around to meet your roommate face to face while applying foundation with your beauty blender on your cheeks. “Why yes, darling, I’m going to do just that. I think it’ll be interesting to see if he can beat my alcohol tolerance.” 

“You’re just too much sometimes, Y/N. I don’t even know if that’s going to be a great idea, you know, after how that last one went-” 

“Flo, I assure you. I’m fine. I’m all over him. I’m no longer seeking a relationship; I just want to get out there and return to my safe space and have some fun.”

In return, your roommate could only sigh before walking back towards you. She grabbed your hairbrush right next to your makeup desk to start brushing out your hair before helping you style it with your curler. 

“Just promise me you won’t be crying in my arms again. I don’t wanna go through that hell of a phase you had back then,” Flo stressed, making sure that you listened carefully and that her words have gone straight into your mind. 

“I promise. My heart will be as hard as steel from now on.”

“You definitely don’t seem like the type of guy who would drive,” you commented as you sat comfortably in the passenger seat while Sunwoo rested one of his arms on the armrest and the other on the steering wheel.

“When will you stop looking down on me? I assure you that I have many hobbies and talents and excel in every single one of them,” Sunwoo pouted, which in return made you giggle. “I swear if I wasn’t driving right now, I would’ve charged right at you and taught you a lesson.”

“Like what? Tickle me? That’s so old-school, Kim.” 

“Whatever you say, Princess. But hey, thanks for accepting the offer. I knew you would be the perfect one for this little getaway I have during my free time.’ 

“I’m just here for the free food, sir. Nothing else.” 

“Hmm, I wouldn’t say so. Usually, people turn me down even if the food is luxurious and scrumptious; I’d like to think that you have some other motive-” 

“Look up at the road ahead and drive, Kim. You don’t even meet my standards in men, anyway,” you crossed your arms before extending your tongue out at him. 

“Damn, why did they even choose you to be part of the PR team? And I thought people who do events like you are a lot more friendlier and nice,” Sunwoo fired back. 

“I am friendly and nice to many people, but not to you, apparently,” you shrugged. 

“And how can I help change your mind about me?” 

“You can’t, and you won’t. Just hurry up and let me taste some luxurious seafood; I’m starving.” 

“Ungrateful.” 

“Not my fault that you’re flirty as hell. It just makes me want to drag you down some more.” 

With that, you both chuckled as the drive stopped before Sunwoo exited his vehicle, walked towards your side to help you open the door, and extended his hand to you. “We have arrived, Princess.” 

You gave him an eye-roll before resting your hands on his and stepping out of his vehicle. “You better be treating me to good food; otherwise, I will give you a rating of 1.5 out of 5 stars on Google reviews.” 

“Oh, don’t worry about that, darling. I aim to please.”

You retracted everything you said about the male himself; he definitely knew all the ways to a woman’s heart.

He actually made an effort to pull the chair away from the table and escorted you to a seat before taking the napkin placed on the table and draping it over your thighs before going across to have a seat himself. He ordered the best champagne for the both of you, paired with an 8-course dinner, and you certainly felt like it was your birthday. 

No man has treated you this way before, not even your ex. 

Another difference about Sunwoo was that he was willing to ask more about you and actually tried to listen to everything you had to say. He was the complete opposite of your ex—he presented himself well, knew how to read the room so as not to push the question further if it made either one of you uncomfortable, and always made sure to check up on you. 

He insisted that you give a proper review for each meal, for he would give feedback to the chef behind the meal planning and prep. Sunwoo often visited the hotel, after all, since the company would usually be hosting any sort of private events here, and all of the staff felt like home to him. 

At one point, he noticed a little stain on the corners of your lips, and he instantly took his napkin and leaned forward to wipe it away by instinct. This little action made you blush, and your cheeks turned pink to red within seconds. Sunwoo, being the man he was, had to point it out, making you feel much more embarrassed than before. 

Throughout the night, he would often call you pretty and cute, and each time, you would try to brush it off and think nothing much of it, but you just seemed to fail horribly each time. 

You won’t deny that he looked absolutely stunning compared to wearing a hoodie at the convenience store the night before. He made an effort to style himself tonight; his hair gelled and parted to the sides, and he wore this black suit with some hints of sparkle throughout the fit. 

This is definitely not the look of a guitarist from a band—he looked way too good for that. In fact, he could definitely pass as an idol or actor, and he was certainly on par with the top good-looking models you have previously worked with.

You were not planning to tell him that; his ego was already too much for you to handle, and you certainly wouldn’t be surviving his teases if he found out what you thought about him. Instead, you hastily chomped away your food and the dessert that finally came and suggested that you wanted to bring him to one of the clubs you often frequented back then. 

Sunwoo was reluctant, and you could see in his eyes that he was contemplating whether to go. That action intrigued you, and you couldn’t help but comment on it.

“Why? Are you afraid to drink? Or do you have horrible alcohol tolerance?” You smirked as you crossed your arms together. 

“Neither. Let’s go.” 

His response seemed slightly colder than usual, and he was up and ready to pay the bills before exiting the hotel. You quickly trailed behind and guided him to the club a few blocks from the hotel. You reassured him that nobody would bother him at the club since most people are just there to have fun, and usually, half of them are just busy making out with one another or tipsy. 

After going through the identification at the entrance, you guided him down to the section where you often stayed for the night. It was much quieter than the others around the area, and there was a little bar at the corners for those who preferred to chat while having a drink.

You offered to pay for Sunwoo’s this time and handed him a long island cocktail to fuel him for the night. Instead of drinking it immediately, Sunwoo spun the glass around with his hand, swirling his drink while staring at it. 

On the other hand, you chugged down your beverage almost immediately, and only then did you notice how Sunwoo seemed a lot quieter now. In fact, this is the most quiet he has been ever since you’ve met him. 

“Long Island is not suited for your taste, sir?” You joked before ordering another cup from the bartender. 

“No…it’s just…I don’t think it would be a good idea for me to drink tonight, Y/N.” 

That was the first time he actually called out your name. 

As the alcohol slowly enters your system, the tipsiness begins kicking in, and you are getting high at this point. Most importantly, you wanted to tease him more now. 

“Aww, a star like you can’t handle a little cocktail? Guess you’re not what everyone seems to label you as then~” you purred before leaning in close to taunt him. 

With that, Sunwoo finally looked into your eyes, and you noticed how they were slowly turning black before he chugged the entire cocktail down his throat. It took him a while to swallow everything and open his eyes, and when he finally did, he grabbed your wrist and dragged you to the nearest bathroom stall before pining you up against the door. 

You were startled by the sudden move he made, but the alcohol was just not making you rational at this point, and you just wanted to taunt him even more. “What is it now? You’re going to teach me a lesson? Mr Kim?” 

“Oh hell yes I am, Y/N.” 

With that, he was now holding both of your wrists with one hand before the other snakes down to touch your body before resting it on your waist. Sunwoo then leans forward to the point that both of your lips are now mere inches apart. 

“You’re going to regret making me consume alcohol for the night, Miss Y/N.”

Act 3 (셋): Rockin’

You were woken up with the sun blaring onto your face and the birds chirping outside the windows. You began rubbing your eyes until you felt something draped over your body. 

A blanket? 

Instantly, you jolted up and looked around your surroundings. You have no idea where exactly you were, and this was definitely not your apartment. Frantically, you looked around to take in as much information as possible, just in case you needed to report to the authorities. 

Okay…there’s a white curtain, a fireplace, a laptop-

“Ouch!” 

You suddenly felt something cold come into contact with your cheeks, and you quickly darted your attention towards whatever it was. That was when you looked up to see the familiar man holding a glass of ice water toward your cheeks. He immediately let go the moment you grabbed the cup into your hands. 

“Drink that. You need it,” Sunwoo replied before walking across the room to pick up your clothing tossed on the floor. 

Oh my god. 

You quickly placed the glass water on the nightstand before lifting the blankets to see if you were wearing anything underneath. 

“Calm down, princess. I have not stooped that low to do the nasty with a woman I just met. I had to help change your clothes into something a lot more comfortable because there’s no way you’re sleeping comfortably with that tight dress for the entire night.” 

So that was what happened. 

“B-But still! You changed my clothing without my consent-”

“And leave you all dirtied with splatters of alcohol all over that dress and then sleep in MY bed? Very unlikely and not gentleman at all.” 

You were not convinced just yet. “T-Then, you slept beside me the entire night!?”

“I slept on the couch in the living room, obviously. You basically had my bedroom for the entire night, a solid 8 hours, to be exact.” 

As soon as you took every information in, you plopped straight down onto the pillow, burying your face with your hands. You couldn’t believe your return to the party scene led you back to Sunwoo’s apartment. You had promised yourself and Flo that nothing would happen and that you knew how to stop before things proceeded further. 

Guess all of that effort went straight down the drain. 

“Look, I…I’m so sorry I’ve caused you so much trouble. I swear, none of this was my intention; it’s just the alcohol, and I was desperate and-”

“Oh, I know. Baby.” 

Just when you opened your eyes, Sunwoo was now sitting at the edge of the bed and very close to you. By instinct, you retreated and moved towards the side, but that only made Sunwoo come closer and eventually rest his fingers on your chin. 

“Whatever happened last night? Will stay between us, Y/N. Frankly, I did enjoy my time with you. I think it would be nice if you could attend the parties that I will be hosting from now on. I’m sure you’ll be a great addition to the party scene.”

It took a few seconds for you to process that thought, and you blinked as a response to that. Seeing that you were too stunned to speak, he decided to press on. 

“I’ll drop you back to your apartment in an hour, so get dressed and take a warm shower in my bathroom, hmm? I’ll be waiting outside in the living room.” 

Once he was done, he stood up before heading straight to turn the doorknob, leaving you alone to pull yourself together and get ready before it was time to go. Right before closing the door, he decided to add one more crucial detail that he had left out. 

“By the way, your lips tasted exactly like my favourite strawberry lip gloss that I often apply whenever I go up to perform on stage.”

“You did what!?” Flo was screaming right at the top of her lungs this time, not caring about all of the stares you both had been getting for the past 10 minutes since you arrived at the cafe before spilling the tea with her. 

“Look, nothing happened. He just happened to take care of me and made sure that I was safe-”

“Nothing happened!? How can you be so sure? Who knows, he might’ve touched you while you were asleep-” 

You grabbed her shoulders to calm her down. “Flo. Nothing. Happened.” 

Your roommate immediately swatted your hands away and crossed her arms as she laid back on the bench, giving you an immense side-eye while she was at it. “Either way, you broke your promise. You said you were going to be responsible, but look at what you did!” 

At times like this, you just wanted to vanish from the depths of the earth as you knew your roommate always had this motherly figure between the two of you. Ever since you moved out from your little hometown on the outskirts of Seoul, Flo was the one who managed to guide you around and became your roommate in the blink of an eye. 

She had moved in a week before you did, and originally the tenant wouldn’t let anyone enter the properties anymore. But you were desperate at the time, as you needed a space to live in as soon as possible before starting the following week, and Flo was the one who managed to talk it out with the tenant to give you a room. 

It has been a year, and you both managed to fit right into your studio apartment, becoming much closer than you thought you would. After all, Flo had made a pact with your childhood friends, who have always looked out for you throughout your time back home, ensuring you were always in good hands no matter where you went. 

“I think I’m going to have to report to Lyla and Bella,” Flo huffed before taking out her phone. She was about to make the call before you managed to stop her right there. 

“Do not. Call them over trivial matters like this. I do not need them to be on the train to Seoul right now,” you warned. 

“Clearly, you did not know how to limit boundaries, Miss Y/N. You said you were not looking for a relationship, then why did you even make out with the Kim Sunwoo in the club?” 

“Can you just- not say his name out loud,” you hissed. “Look, we were both drunk; it was just a one-night thing, okay? That’s not going to happen anymore. Hell, I’m even pissed at myself for falling for the guy so easily like that.” 

“Well, you should be. You have a lot of things to work on, young lady.”

“Okay, but first of all, can you just stop being mad at me?” 

“Not until you have learnt your lesson. No more boys and no more kissing. And most importantly.” Flo now stood up and cupped both of your cheeks with her hands. “No more alcohol. Understood?”

You sighed. “I’ll bake matcha cookies with you when we get back.”

Instantly, Flo let go of her hands before sitting back down and giving you a devilish smile. “Now, that’s more like it.”

Nothing much happened after that, and your phone has been unusually silent over the past week. There hasn’t been much going on at work either, so you have been working remotely and having much more time to yourself. 

You would laze around the apartment a little too much, but you were glad you could sit back and relax for a bit. All you had to do was respond to some work emails, and that was it. Most of the time, you would spend your time baking with Flo (because she insists) or just going through the list of shows you have meant to catch up on Netflix. 

Just as you were done clocking out for the week, your supervisor informed the entire department that you would continue working remotely the following week and would only be back in the office in a fortnight. 

Ever since that conversation with Flo back at the cafe, you figured it wouldn’t hurt to return to your hometown to visit your family and friends. You only need to bring your laptop back, and you can work remotely instead. With that, you quickly stood up, took out one of your smaller luggage and began sorting out the clothes you would bring back. 

That is until an unexpected message came through.

that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: hey princess, just checking up on you  that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝 : how have you been feeling?

Really? A text from Sunwoo after a week of not saying anything? 

You honestly were just planning to leave him on read, but something within you said that you should give him a reply; he, in fact, was concerned about your well-being. 

You could definitely trust this guy. Right?

y/n: been good, burying myself with work.  that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: that’s unfortunate. but if you do happen to be free tomorrow night… 👀 y/n: whatever are you planning this time, Sunwoo that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: just the usual parties at Eric’s villa. you’ll come, won’t you? 

Tomorrow. But you were planning to head back to your hometown. 

Now you were in a dilemma; you know that you have only known this guy a little shy of just one week, yet there was this prominent mutual attraction between you two—at least, you wanted to think of it that way. 

But were you ready to ditch your friends and family over this guy? Over a party where you could potentially get drunk once again and make questionable decisions that you were certain you would regret later on? 

You contemplated asking Flo to help you choose, but given that she did not take your last encounter with the male well, it’s probably not a very good idea at this point. You could flip a coin and respectfully choose the side you’ve assigned the decision to, but why go through the lengths of all that? 

It was either a yes or no, simple as that. Yet, you were pacing around the room, scratching your head while at it, until one more text came from the man himself.

that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: y/n, you there? don’t leave me on read 🙁

Argh, goddamit we ball.

y/n: pick me up tomorrow, the usual.

“Damn, I had no idea your bandmate Eric was this rich,” you commented before taking a sip of your mocktail that you took at the entrance.

Yes. Mocktail. You weren’t ready to go down the same path you had in the previous encounter you had with Sunwoo. 

“Boy grew up rich, alright. He has one villa back in the States, too.” 

“And I assume all of you have been there?”

“Oh, we often stay there for a couple of nights whenever we’re in Los Angeles. I say it's a win-win situation, given that we have free accommodations. Besides, his mum has taken a liking to us all, particularly me.” Sunwoo nudges your shoulders as he says that last sentence. 

“Don’t be stupid. You look horrendous,” you spat.

“Now, that’s not what you said to me the other day, Princess.” 

You were baffled. “Huh? What did I say?”

“Oh, darling. You said many things when we were making out. You were pretty much a very vocal one at that, too,” he grinned before taking a sip of his drink, but you couldn’t just let this slip away easily. “Ow! Why did you pinch my arm for!” 

You pulled his shirt down so that you could whisper into his ear. “You’re going to have to tell me what exactly happened that day, and it stays between us and only us.” 

“Seems like girlie couldn’t remember a single detail from that night after all, hmm?” Sunwoo smirked before he took a strand of your hair and intertwined it around his finger. 

Again, you swatted his hands away. “Don’t play games with me, Sunwoo. Tell me everything right now; I need to know for the sake of my well-”

Before you could even finish your sentence, Sunwoo immediately pulled you down onto one of the empty sun loungers scattered throughout the pool area, and little did you realise that you had just landed on his lap. 

“Stop wasting all of the unnecessary energy, Y/N. We’re here tonight just to relax and party, hmm? That heated make-out session is history. What matters is you’re here with me,” he cooed. 

Oh hell, this is going to be a long night indeed.

Act 4 (넷): Secrets

It definitely took you a while to break free from Kim Sunwoo’s arms. At one point, you were both just chatting—well, more likely bickering, and then the next thing that happened was the both of you got pulled towards the pool table located at the side of the outdoor swimming pool area where the boys and several other girls were playing beer pong. 

Eventually, you gave in and represented your team in a couple of rounds, only having to drink once or twice as compared to Sunwoo. He was a mess by the time the game got around to the tenth round, and he had his arm over you and slowly laid his head on the crook of your neck. 

It was fairly common as you saw the other boys and girls around you doing the same thing; people were just having fun, and a little skinship could do no harm. 

After some time, you decided that you needed some alone time and retreated into the house, where you found a cosy couch just to sit back and relax a little. Everyone was still in the outdoor area, with only a handful of people chilling and just talking with one another around the living space, so you didn’t really mind it at all. 

Slowly sipping your drink, you decided just to take in everything that had happened back in the past week. You were back in the party scene again, back to drinking (which you’ve definitely missed), and you actually felt that your life was lit up again after so long. 

It took you a while to get over your ex, and that previous relationship ruined you so badly that you couldn’t even drink or go to a club for quite some time. To think that you had met Sunwoo through one of the events you were part of, trading back each other’s phones just because you were the one who mistakenly took his, and then getting close with him until you were now part of the band’s social scene? It was wild. 

Suddenly, you felt a little thump as someone made their way to take a seat next to you, and you realised who it was the moment he brushed his hair back with his hands. 

“You must be Y/N? Sunwoo has talked a lot about you,” he lifted his glass of whiskey to prompt you to do a little cheer before taking a good sip of his beverage. 

“Thanks for letting me come tonight; I really appreciate it,” you responded politely to the male. 

“Oh no, thank you for coming, actually. Without you, our recent concert wouldn’t have been a huge success as it was.”

You chuckled. “You’re joking. All of your concerts do great all the time, Eric.” 

“Not always. There are usually a few seats left empty in our previous one. But this? We have been told that all seats were sold out in nearly ten minutes before the website crashed. You and your team made it happen, Y/N.”

You weren’t too sure if it was because of the alcohol or if it was getting a little too stuffy in the house, but you could only respond by giving him a little nod before downing your drink to ease the awkwardness. 

You didn’t seem to have to worry much because Eric was a sociable guy. He would come up with random topics that could keep you busy throughout the night, and frankly, you enjoyed yapping about every single one of them, and he did just the same. 

Before you knew it, laughter began filling the room, and it was from both of you (mostly Eric because he is one loud fellow). At one point, you laughed so much that tears had formed within the corners of your eyes, and Eric had to pull the nearby tissue box to hand them to you. 

“Oh my god, you can be a stand-up comedian, Sohn.” 

“I’ve been told multiple times if only the members would acknowledge that,” he pouts. 

“They don’t? How could they?” 

“You tell me! Clearly, they don’t know how to appreciate LA humour in the slightest. But now I’ve found someone who does,” he points his glass again at you to indicate another cheer before the two of you drink your beverages. “Say, Y/N. Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot your shot, mister. I’m prepared for anything, even if it means I will be laughing my ass off until tomorrow morning,” you replied confidently, thinking that he was about to pull another lame joke. 

Only this time, he was going to press on something serious instead. 

“What are your thoughts about Sunwoo? Be honest with me.” 

Huh? Why are we shifting the topic back to Sunwoo? 

“I…umm…he’s just a guy, I guess. I don’t know him well enough to determine that much yet,” you answered bluntly, hoping it was enough to give him a satisfactory answer. 

It took Eric a little while to respond properly before you eventually caught him staring right at your collarbone, causing you to touch the very spot he was eyeing at. “Umm…is something wrong?” 

“No, not at all. But listen to me very carefully, Y/N. You will be needing this.” 

Immediately, Eric gently pulled you closer so he could whisper into your ear, ensuring that the coast was clear and nobody was around to eavesdrop before muttering those words that caused you to linger in your mind for the entire night. 

“Whatever you do, do not get yourself involved in Sunwoo’s affairs. Stay as far away as you can from him.” 

Just like that, Eric was up and ready to excuse himself as he had to tend to the other guests. He gave you one final smile accompanied by a single wave before he headed towards the exit. Right before he left, you could catch something he muttered softly under his breath, something you wished you hadn’t heard. 

“Kim Sunwoo, I guess you are still the very same bastard just as you were back then.”

It has been a couple of weeks since you were invited to the party at Eric’s villa in central Seoul. As much as you tried your best to ignore the warnings Eric had told you about Sunwoo, you couldn’t help but constantly think about it throughout the entire day.

Sure, Sunwoo was a flirt—but he wouldn’t go as far as to harm you physically or emotionally. 

In fact, you have been in close contact with the man himself almost every weekend. The band was off-season for a little while, which meant he would be back in Seoul during the weekends, as his schedules were free. Hence, he had a lot of time to bring you around Seoul and to all of his favourite restaurants that he frequented either as a celebrity or where he often went during his trainee days.

He has built up a reputation for himself, and all of the owners of the restaurants near his old dormitory with the members treated him like their own son. At times, certain owners would even treat him to a free meal, so that basically meant you were getting a free ride, too, since you were his acquaintance.

You just couldn’t seem to fathom that a guy like Sunwoo was someone comparable to your ex. 

Your ex has done multiple things in the past which made you feel like an outcast for a while. You stopped going to parties, being the sociable fairy you once were, and hell, even let yourself get close to a man ever again. 

Your previous relationship traumatised you to the point that you needed a break from everything and everyone, including your best friends and family. 

That was why you fled to Seoul—you wanted a new life, a new beginning, and a little escape from everyone for a little while. The moment you received a call back from your current agency about hiring you to be part of their PR team, you were astounded. You have always loved meeting new people and wanted to do everything you could to help them until your ex-boyfriend changed everything.

It just so happened that your encounter with The Boyz was meant to have several chapters down the line. Usually, you would work with a group or artist until the day of the concert or event, and then you would return to your normal routine. There were no meet-ups or getting close to the celebrities or their acquaintances. You’d like to think that it was fate that you had become close mutual friends with The Boyz. 

Until that fateful night when Eric warned you about Sunwoo. 

You couldn’t believe it, or rather, you didn’t want to believe that. 

All you wanted was to have someone like Sunwoo come into your life again—to drag you out of your shell and back to where you truly belong. 

That is until a phone call came from your best friend. 

“Y/N. I think I’ve found something that should piqued your interest,” Lyla announced on the phone.

Act 5 (다섯): All I Know

It seemed that the days of relaxation had ended when the band finally received some sample songs for their upcoming album. As the group's lead songwriter, Sunwoo was already in the studio at 3 a.m., going through each one with his team of producers. 

When it came to his job, Sunwoo poured his whole heart and soul into them, and he can be very meticulous when selecting the song that would suit the team best. He was cautious and ensured that each member had time to shine and portray their unique skills throughout the song. 

This is also a time when he would be the hardest to contact if there ever was a situation in which someone needed his presence as soon as possible. Technically, he would always leave his phone on silent mode throughout the day but opt for the do-not-disturb mode when in the studio. He just disliked it when he got interrupted during his train of thought while in his creative mindset. 

But hunger would never escape him, and his tummy began making growling noises. Then, he finally checked his phone for the very first time since he stepped into the studio. It was already 9:30 in the morning, and he hadn’t had any food since 6 p.m. the day before. 

If he wanted to get back on his feet, he obviously had to do something to satisfy the grumbling noises that would soon fill the entire studio if he had left it just there and then. So he quickly took his hoodie and was off to the nearest convenience store near the company. 

As usual, he walked straight towards the ramen aisle and quickly grabbed his favourite Neoguri Ramyun, which had to be the spiciest one. To top it off with a beverage, he went straight to the freezer box to grab an ice cup and paired it with his favourite chocolate milk drink that came in a packet, which he would then empty the continents into the cup itself after purchase. 

He was going to walk straight to the cashier until your voice suddenly rang in his head. 

The hell do you survive on just ramen all the time? Add on some healthier carbs, will you? 

Just like that, he turned his heels back towards the aisle and grabbed an onigiri that looked pretty decent enough to pair with his noodles and coffee.

There. I’ve added rice. It’s more than enough. He replied mentally towards your voice. 

Usually, he would bring his so-called “breakfast” back to the studio and eat while working, but he decided that it wouldn’t hurt just to sit down and chill in the store while admiring the clear blue skies for the day. It had been raining for the past few days so it was nice to get a little sunlight in a while. 

As he chomped down on his food, he just couldn’t stop thinking about that very first time when you both had met back at the store that was located near the concert venue and how you were doubting his ability to actually make an ordinary cup of ramen taste just as good as Sunwoo acclaimed to be all the time. 

“What, you’re just adding chopped green jalapeno and sesame seeds. That doesn’t make a difference,” you argued, having done the same with the noodles at your apartment. 

“Not just any jalapeno and sesame seeds, it has to be the one that specifically comes with this spiciest addition that you can request at your local convenience store for the add-on,” he proclaimed while throwing all of the ingredients together before mixing it up well with the wooden chopsticks. 

Still unconvinced, you gave him an immense side-eye as he pushed the cup of ramen to you and insisted that you try it. You reluctantly took a few strands of noodles with the chopsticks and started chewing until you stopped halfway, which made Sunwoo lean in close to reply with a grin. 

“See, told ya.” 

It really did make a difference. It turned out that Sunwoo was serious about this whole Neoguri Ramyun business he was running. He had always insisted that the people around him had to cook the noodles the same exact way as he did, or else they would be better off thrown into the trash. 

“Honestly, I should’ve become a ramen connoisseur instead of a guitarist. I would’ve made loads of money from this alone. Hell, I think Neoguri should even hire me as their ambassador.”

“Nah, you don’t have the looks to be plastered across Neoguri advertisement boards. Heck, I don’t think I would wanna consume a cup ramen with your face on the packaging.”

“Hello? We just met and were having a good conversation together?” Sunwoo protested. 

“I’m sorry, but I’m usually pretty blunt and straightforward with my words.” 

“Ouch. You’re a monster.” 

“I’ve been told,” you stuck your tongue out at the male. 

That conversation would often bring a smile back onto Sunwoo’s face. It was the way you could be savage for one second, and the next thing that happened was you were slurping away the noodles that he had just made for you (note: the noodles that he deemed were far beyond perfection). 

Just like you thought that it was fate for Sunwoo to have entered your life, he did the same, too. 

It had been a long time since he had found someone who could connect with him, be on the same level as he did, and even tolerate his flirtatious remarks and behaviour. Most importantly, it had been a while since he had gotten this close to a girl. 

Like everyone else, Sunwoo had a past that wasn’t of the best to be on his history books. He had been through many things, more like things that he wasn’t too proud of. All he wanted was to cherish his time with you and to let go of the things that have haunted him in the past. He would take it if it meant being with you could bring him temporary happiness. 

And that he would ensure that you would never find out about the Kim Sunwoo of the past.

You couldn’t believe it when your friend Lyla had just dumped all the information towards you on just one FaceTime call. 

It all started a couple of weeks back when you first got her to find out more about Sunwoo, especially ever since you just couldn’t fathom the thought of why his name sounded so familiar to you. 

Even after all of the dates and parties you both had been to, nothing alarming stood out from the guy, and he was a normal celebrity who just wanted to have some fun. Yet, there was something at the back of your mind that just knew there must be something about the guy.

Something mysterious, but harmless. 

However, after that video call with Lyla, you couldn’t be so sure anymore. 

Instantly, you texted the Sunwoo and said that you needed to see him as soon as possible because you needed answers.

Desperately. 

y/n: hey…do you happen to be free for the night? can we meet? that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: never would I have expected for you to text me firsthand…are you finally taking my love proposal into consideration 😘 y/n: sunwoo…not right now please, i just need to see you.  that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: wait. y/n you’re not like yourself. did something happened? are you okay?  y/n: we’ll talk more when we meet. please that one guy obsessed with Neoguri Ramyun 🦝: i have a schedule tonight, but i can totally meet you at Han River if that’s okay with you y/n: deal. I’ll see you then.

Given that you were out of town for work earlier in the day, you glanced at your watch to see that it was already 6 in the evening. Hastily, you excused yourself from the little afternoon date you were having with your co-workers and quickly took the subway to return to Seoul to meet Sunwoo. 

The usual 45-minute train ride back felt like an eternity. You had no idea why you were so nervous, anxious and even terrified about the ordeal. You were still trying your best to take in everything Lyla had said over the call, but you refused to believe that everything—all of the memories you had made with the man himself until now—had all been a facade. 

Why go through to this extent? Was everything had been a lie all this while? Were you just a pawn in his games?

The moment you stepped out of the train, your legs guided you straight to where you were supposed to meet. At this point, you were running on autopilot, and you felt that your energy and consciousness were slowly drifting away from you.

By the time you reached the stairs up to the bridge, you lay your eyes upon the familiar figure who was already there. Though, he wasn’t alone. 

As you closed in your distance with him, you had just picked up one sentence from the conversation—one that was more than enough to confirm all of the doubts and fears you’ve had up to this point. 

She’s just another one of the girls. 

“Y-You meant what you said?” You squeaked, and that was enough to make both men turn their heads towards you. 

Instantly, tears began streaming down your face as you turned your heel and started running in the opposite direction, not caring if he was chasing and screaming your name out loud in the middle of the night. 

I’m done with men.

Act 6 (여섯): True Colors

If you talked about being one’s soulmate, Eric Sohn knew that best when finding the right friend with whom you can connect on a whole different level. The word “soulmate” meant a lot to him—someone who is more than just a friend, one that the universe has just seemed to create specially just for you. 

Sunwoo and Eric go all the way back to their trainee days when they were both training to become idols instead of a band. They clicked right off the bat, and the first thing they did was sneak out in the middle of the night to get some ramen at their local convenience store.

They have got in so much trouble together in the past, to the point that they had to be placed in detention by their managers and company staff multiple times, but that was all the joy and fun with that for the both of them. 

Eric had always wanted a brother, and so did Sunwoo. Even though they weren’t related by blood, their chemistry was incomparable to the others in the company. They did everything together—songwriting, sharing their meals together when they had barely enough to survive, and even taking the late-night buses to travel to another town or city during their breaks. 

Eventually, they decided that being in a band would better suit them as idols, and they did everything they could with the little amount of cash in their pockets and left. Of course, it came as a shocker to everyone, be it from their family members or friends or even to the company since they would potentially debut in their next upcoming new boy group. But both of them knew that there was a much better place and opportunity for them. 

They have spent countless of days sleeping in the local parks or subways, each taking turns to look out for one another while job hunting in the local restaurants or cafes while they were at it to earn some cash. Eventually, both of them bought their very own instruments from a second-hand store and started busking on the streets. 

Nobody knew how to appreciate their music at the beginning, but their hard work has definitely paid off in the long run. They never once gave up, eventually earning ten and hundreds of pedestrians who would stop by to enjoy the music while giving them some tips. 

At the same time, they ventured around Seoul to find similar members who were willing to share the same dream and passion as they did, and that was when they encountered the rest of the members. With Kevin's help (since he had some contacts within the music industry), they were able to sign with their current company and eventually debut as a successful band.

Since both Eric and Sunwoo had already been on the internet for quite some time before debuting, they already have garnered enough fans to start off fresh and strong, which earned them their very first win on the local music awards show that very same year.

Years passed, and they were now one of Seoul's biggest and most successful boy bands. Eventually, their words spread out, reaching almost every entity in South Korea. They had everything, and there was nothing to lose. 

But there was one thing that constantly bothered the man himself: Sunwoo’s past. 

When it comes to romance, Eric often takes it seriously, and frankly, he knows best about it. Both Eric and Sunwoo had something in common: they were flirtatious as hell, and they knew how to get the girls. But there was a significant difference between them: Eric knew when to draw the line.

Given his profession, getting into a serious relationship meant trouble for his career and company. If he really wanted to find love, he would definitely have waited for the right moment to do so because he knew that both personal and business relations should not co-exist in the same duration. 

Sure, he knew how to satisfy a woman, but he would never stoop as low as to play with their feelings. He always loved being fully transparent about them, which has always worked out for him. 

However, Sunwoo didn’t, which frustrated his friend all the time.

Eric knew about his past with his ex—it made him the way he was when it came to romance. He couldn’t blame Sunwoo after all of the traumatic experiences He had gone through, especially when he did not deserve any of those in the slightest. But yet, it angers the male, and he has been trying to do something to help him get over it for years. 

It just so happened that you had to come into the picture. 

Eric and the rest of the band thought nothing much about your “encounter” with Sunwoo; they often brushed it off as a silly and hilarious experience because you accidentally took his phone instead of yours. However, things changed when Sunwoo started hanging out with you more often and even invited you to their parties. 

There was nothing wrong with you joining their scene, but it was how Eric noticed how Sunwoo had been treating you. 

Just like he did to all of the previous girls. 

Though, Eric knew that you were different to all of the other girls who had gotten involved with Sunwoo in the past. You seemed a lot more mature and outgoing, and you were never afraid to voice your honest yet brutal opinions about the guy—which is also why the band had taken quite a liking towards you. 

Unfortunately for the previous girls, they wanted to get close with the band—specifically towards Sunwoo—and get involved with all of the games he was about to pull. That was why many of them seemingly fell too easily into his traps and manipulation. 

Because of that, Eric wasn’t ready to see a pure and humble girl like you crumble down. As his best friend, he was going to try his best to make things right. 

To make sure that history wasn’t going to repeat itself.

“Alright boys, let’s take it from the top!” Sunwoo announced, after going through with everyone about their latest hit, that they would make it into their latest album. 

They had been in the studio since noon, rehearsing nonstop. They insisted that they would push through to get this new album out for their third anniversary. They wanted to try out a whole new concept this time—something that portrayed all those years they had been through as trainees. 

This new track, Hurt Me Less, is all about the end of a previous relationship and the beginning of a new one. 

As the co-writer of the song, Eric himself found it ironic that Sunwoo decided to use this as the title track, given that he knew exactly how Sunwoo had treated all the girls in the past, including you.

So many things went through his mind when he first heard it and he was allowed to co-write it with him. Was this Sunwoo’s way of finally acknowledging his past mistakes and that he was ready to move on and see romantic relationships from a different perspective? 

Eric had wanted to confront his friend for the longest time, but it just wasn’t the right timing to do so—especially when the both of them often get caught up with work, and nothing else would come to mind when they’re in the studio. 

Since they finally had a little time before their next schedule later at night, Eric decided to take Sunwoo to Han River for a little stroll and perhaps finally get a glimpse of his friend’s thoughts after so long. 

“Don’t you miss it?” Eric nudged his friend's shoulder as they walked through the river. This used to be their favourite place to escape from reality, after all, in their earlier days. 

“The hell are you being so sentimental today? I’m pretty sure you have got something up your sleeves to call me out like that,” Sunwoo spat. 

Apparently, that angered Eric, and he quickly slapped his friend in the arm. “Can’t we just go back to the good old times and take things slowly for a bit? We have been so busy preparing for the new album lately and haven’t gotten much time to hang out like we used to.” 

“Sure, but it’s finally our third anniversary, and I really want to make it special this time,” Sunwoo chuckled as he buried both hands in his jacket. 

Since Sunwoo has touched on the topic of interest, it was time for Eric to get to the point gradually. “Say, about this new song and album…what inspired you to choose this theme?” 

His friend thought about it for a while and gave an open-ended answer. “Nothing much. I just felt it would be nice to do something different. After all, music is all about experimenting with different genres.” 

“Are you sure it’s just that?” 

That was enough to make Sunwoo stop in his tracks as he narrowed his eyes towards his friend. “Youngjae-ah, what exactly are you trying to fish out from me?” 

Eric knew that whenever Sunwoo used his birth name, the conversation would turn 180 degrees as there would be no room for any jokes or mischievous acts. The gig was up, and he knew he had to speak out his deepest thoughts. 

“Sunwoo. I’m going to ask you a question, and you’ll have to answer me truthfully.” Eric then walks up to his friend, grabs hold of his shoulder and takes in a deep breath before he poses his question. “This whole new album…the title track…are any of these meant to be about your past?” 

“Or more specifically, about Y/N?”

That was enough to make Sunwoo widen his eyes and stare deeply into his friend’s. Given that his response was merely a sigh and lowering his head, he probably knew this would happen sooner or later. Eric knew Sunwoo best, after all. 

“What exactly have you deduced this time, Mr Holmes?” Sunwoo mocked. 

“Don’t play games with me, Sunwoo. I need to know the truth.” 

“Why? Are you interested in Y/N?” He scoffed, and that was enough to make Eric’s blood boil. 

“No. But I do not like how you’re dragging her into your unnecessary mess, just like you did with all the other girls.” 

Now, that was when Sunwoo was the one who got all worked up, and he immediately pushed his friend away roughly. Rage began to overtake his way of thinking logically, and he was now balling up his fists while trying his best to contain himself. 

“We don’t talk about that.”

“Well, we have to! Sunwoo, you need to stop running away from your problems and face them head-on. You’ll never overcome your fears if you live like this daily!” Eric raised his voice, and Sunwoo returned the favour by grabbing onto his collar. 

“It’s not your life. You have no rights or say so based on what I have experienced in the past. So I suggest you shut your mouth before making me do something I regret.” 

“Fine by me. If that’s what your true colours are. If only Y/N is here to see you in this state-” 

“The hell are you bringing up Y/N again in all of this? Why do you care?” 

“Because you’re in love with her, you goddamn idiot!” 

That was enough for Sunwoo to let go of his friend’s collar finally, and he began pacing around while ruffling his hair in frustration. 

“So I was right,” Eric panted. 

“T-That’s not true. I don’t have feelings for Y/N.”

“How can you be so sure? Your actions have proved otherwise these past several weeks, Sunwoo. Stop lying to yourself.” 

“Never. Romance and dating no longer exist in my books. She’s just another one of the girls.” 

With that, Eric suddenly gulped before he directed his attention to something, or rather, someone that was now behind his friend. 

“Y-You meant what you said?” 

Oh god, this was now much more messed up than it should’ve been. 

Before either of them could have a say in all of these, you instantly turned your heel towards the opposite direction. You began sprinting away, not even caring when Sunwoo was screaming for you and about to dash towards your direction. 

Until Eric gripped onto his wrists forcefully and yanked his friend back. 

“You scumbag.” That was all he said until Eric tried his best to keep up with you. 

Kim Sunwoo, what an actual jerk you are.

Act 7 (일곱): Love To Lay

Sunwoo couldn’t remember when was the last time he actually got proper sleep without having to rely on his sleeping pills. It wasn’t by choice; rather, it’s something he has been struggling with for over a year now. 

Being obsessed with shoujo mangas, there’s no doubt he absolutely enjoys romance novels and films, which was also one of the reasons he could click on Eric so well. They would often have book or film talk sessions after practice, discussing the latest trend and evaluating the way the characters proposed to one another in their respective ways. 

Also, being a social butterfly himself, he had been on the party scene for years now, and there was no doubt he had gotten a good handful of female friends he would often hang out with his group of friends in the past. 

Which was also where he met his first and only girlfriend, Miyeon. 

Miyeon was known as the beauty queen of the town, as the locals would dub her. She was well respected in the community as she was at the top of her class and often participated in volunteer work during her semester breaks from university. 

It was ironic to see a top student visit a club during the late weekday nights. Still, Sunwoo figured that everyone would eventually venture into the party scene at least once in their lifetime, no matter how good their upbringing was. It was part of youth, after all. 

It all started with them having a little conversation, followed by a bit of alcohol in their system, and then straight onto the dance floor before they ended up with a little makeout session at one of the stalls. It was Sunwoo’s first relationship, and he thought the pace they were going for was pretty reasonable. 

Miyeon was everything to him, and he would work around his tight-knit schedule to spend as much time as he could with her—even if that meant he would be getting less sleep or rest after a show. 

After all, he had never found someone who came as close as she did. They had the same interests and hobbies and could talk about any topic for hours on his couch. Miyeon would often come over to stay at Sunwoo’s apartment since it was much more convenient for them both. 

She even had a set of her own clothing, skincare and up to having her makeup products at his place. She was pretty much treating his place like her second home, and Sunwoo was completely fine with that. 

They even talked about getting engaged once, and Sunwoo was ecstatic about the thought, and he couldn’t stop giving her cuddles and kisses that day. Ever since then, he started working tirelessly to get the engagement ring that he’d had his eyes on for a while, and he knew that it would suit Miyeon’s taste.

However, Miyeon started getting a lot busier not long after as she had recently changed her job, and she wasn’t able to meet up with Sunwoo as often anymore. Hence, their dates slowly dropped down to having three to only once per week, or sometimes only meeting each other just once a fortnight. 

As much as Sunwoo was worried that she was working way too hard she should, there was no reason to doubt her since she always excelled at everything that she had done. She was still texting Sunwoo every day without fail on Kakao, so everything was under control. 

At least, that was what Sunwoo thought. 

Since it was going to be her birthday soon and he finally had gotten his first paycheck after a successful first The Boyz concert, he was able to use that to get his hands on the engagement ring that he had asked the shopkeepers to keep for him for a couple of months now. 

Eagerly, he walked out of the store with the blue Tiffany & Co. bag in his hands as he made his way towards her apartment to surprise her. 

Until he focused his attention on the couple on the other side of the road. 

The couple both held ice cream in their hands as they played around with the dessert playfully, taking some with their fingers and smearing it across each other’s noses. They were also laughing and having a lot of fun—way too much fun, actually. 

At least, Miyeon was. 

Sunwoo wasn’t sure how he would confront Miyeon about it—in fact, he couldn’t. Sure, he was confused as hell, but the thought of Miyeon potentially having an affair outside this relationship seemed unlikely. He couldn’t fathom the thought of her doing that, and he refused to believe it and was convinced that it must be a sick joke. 

That night, Sunwoo tried his best to make everything seem normal as he entered Miyeon’s apartment. Miyeon was showering him with kisses and telling him all about how she was sorry for being late as she was out shopping for ingredients for their sukiyaki dinner date. 

Lies. 

At that point, they hadn’t seen each other for two weeks, and Miyeon went on and on about how she was away for a business trip and had just returned to Seoul that evening. It was hard for her to hail a cab as they were all pretty much booked until she needed to contact one of her colleagues to give her a ride back into the city and return home. 

Lies. 

After that, they had a little movie night and spent much time cuddling on the couch. It would’ve been a lie to say Sunwoo didn’t miss her scent. He just couldn’t help but rest his nose into her soft brunette hair and savour as much of the scent he had loved so deeply over the past year of their relationship. 

“I miss your scent too, Sunwoo. It’s been hell without having you beside me for weeks,” Miyeon sulked as she hugged Sunwoo tighter. 

Lies. 

Even as they went to sleep that night in Miyeon’s room, Sunwoo could clearly feel a distance between the two. Miyeon was sleeping on her side, so her back was facing him. As much as he wanted to touch her, to carry and hold her in his arms, he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. 

We are just strangers in a bed. 

Sunwoo went on like this for a month, ignoring all of the red flags that he had been getting and seeing for the past several weeks—he kept convincing himself that he was living in a horrible nightmare and it would soon be over. 

As Miyeon started getting busier again with her “work,” Sunwoo returned to focus more on his career. Ultimately, this was a huge failure, as his performance started deteriorating horribly, to the point that it was affecting the other members in the group. 

Every time the members confronted him about it, Sunwoo just shrugged it off, saying that he hadn’t gotten much sleep because of their busy schedule. However, they knew deep down that something was very much off, and Eric was determined to find out exactly what had happened. 

One night after their pre-recording at Music Bank, Sunwoo went out for a little walk around the area, and Eric followed behind discreetly. It didn’t even take Sunwoo more than five minutes until he had come to a halt, and Eric did exactly the same until his eyes travelled along where Sunwoo had landed.

Miyeon was accepting what seemed like an engagement ring from the very same guy Sunwoo had his eyes on the other day. 

Rage instantly filled him, and this time, he couldn’t help but confront them straight ahead. He desperately had hoped that Miyeon would feel a little remorse or at least appear shocked to see that her boyfriend had caught her red-handed. After all, Sunwoo just wanted answers as he wasn’t in the mood to make this a huge deal. 

But apparently, Miyeon didn’t think of that in the same way. 

The heated conversation between the two of them would always come to haunt Sunwoo, and he would never forget about all of the things Miyeon had just spat right into his face back then. 

Love is just a pretend. 

Your love for me is crazy. 

You’ll never be the right one for me. 

Since that day, Sunwoo’s hatred for romance has constantly grown, and he often has a couple of outbursts, especially when he is alone in his apartment. How couldn’t he? Especially when Miyeon’s stuff was scattered all throughout his comfort space. 

To make matters worse, Miyeon even had the guts to contact Sunwoo after all that she had done to make him return all of her things that were still left in his apartment. 

Did Sunwoo do just that?

Absolutely not. 

He got rid of every item she owned— throwing them into the trash or burning them in his fireplace. Anger would always accompany him whenever he did so, and it frustrated him that Miyeon would betray him like that.

It was then that Sunwoo decided that romance was just total bullshit and there would never be such a thing of true love for him. He blocked her number and deleted everything that reminded him about her. 

Sunwoo felt like he was on autopilot for the first couple of months, and he would just go out to the nightclubs every day and pick up every girl he could find and tease them a little. Eventually, when the girls started having feelings for him, he would run away before anything further than that could happen. 

Love was like a game for him now, and it didn’t matter if he would break those girls' hearts. All he wanted was to feel the thrill of being loved and wanted, and if he had gotten what he needed, then that was fine by him.

He couldn’t face rejection again. What happened with him and Miyeon has left a deep scar within him, and he’ll never be able to fix it. He has learned it the hard way from that breakup. 

Until you came into the picture. 

It was definitely the first time someone mistook their phone as theirs and accidentally took his instead. He found it amusing, and he absolutely found your reaction back during the first encounter hilarious. He genuinely just enjoyed your company that night. 

But there was something different about you—you weren’t like all the other girls he had encountered at the nightclubs. You were just so pure and genuine, and you didn’t want him just for his flirtatious demeanour and good looks. You were savage as hell, and you always spoke the truth and made him laugh. 

It has been a while since someone could put Sunwoo back into his place. 

That’s why he couldn’t bear the thought of doing the nasty when you brought him to the club that night. He knew that the moment he got a sip of alcohol into his system, he wasn’t going to be able to hold himself back from doing something he was going to regret.

Miraculously, he did. He was able to stop himself before things got too far. The both of you only had a heated makeout session before Sunwoo finally grabbed your wrist and stopped you in your tracks. He had no choice but to drag you all the way back into his vehicle before driving off to his apartment. 

As much as he wanted to bring you straight back home, you were already sleeping so soundly on the way back, and he knew that he was definitely going to get killed by your roommate if she saw her friend in this state. Ultimately, he did what he thought was best—taking you back into his apartment and helping you change into much more comfortable clothing before tucking you into bed. 

Sunwoo slept on the couch next to his bed that night, and he couldn’t stop looking in your direction as you tossed and turned around all night. It was clear to him that you were having a horrible nightmare, and you kept mumbling incoherent words as you began sweating profoundly. 

He had enough and decided to get up and sit right next to you, and that was when he heard your words loud and clear. 

“Please don’t hurt me…I’ve done nothing wrong…Don’t leave me…” 

Instantly, you grabbed his wrist and hugged it tightly as you adjusted your sleeping position towards him. Sunwoo had no idea why that made him go all soft for you, and he instantly began rubbing away the tears from your eyes and leaned down to give a little peck on your forehead. 

He wished he could’ve done something to relieve your pain and that he would snuggle with you to bed if that would have made it a lot better for you to sleep soundly for the night.

But he knew that once the sun rises the next day, he would go back to being the playboy Kim Sunwoo that the public had labelled him to be.

You’re in love with her.

Those words pierced right through Sunwoo’s heart every single time his mind flashed back to that night when Eric confronted him right before you came.

He hasn’t spoken to his good friend since, and it has been close to a week now. Sunwoo decided to call in sick for the week, and the rest of the members went on with rehearsals without him—he wasn’t in the right mindset to put on his idol persona anyway. 

The couch right next to his fireplace was his go-to for the past week, and Sunwoo would just sit there for hours staring into the flames, thinking about those words that his friend had said right to his face that day. 

It was as if those were the words that needed to be said straight to his face, for he knew that his relationship with yours meant something—a lot more compared to all of the other girls that he had gotten involved with in the past. 

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, you were slowly breaking down his steel heart, which had been sealed shut for years. Little did you know that you were slowly healing his broken heart day by day. Sunwoo adored everything about you, and you were constantly on his mind throughout the day. 

You have officially taken over his mind; everything he does daily reminds him of you. 

But Sunwoo just couldn’t admit that out loud. After he had sworn that he was done with romance, he couldn't. 

However, Sunwoo had been sitting at his fireplace for days, and he kept thinking throughout the day and night. 

What if you were the key to fixing him? 

What if you were finally the one who would make him realise it’s okay to fall in love again? 

What if…you were the right one that was meant to be with him?

With that, Sunwoo leaned back against his couch with his hands covering his eyes as he grunted for the hundredth time of the day.

Stop messing things up, you good-for-nothing idiot.

Act 8 (여덟): A Lonely Night

You couldn’t recall when was the last time you actually got a proper meal. Ever since that day when you overhead the conversation between Sunwoo and Eric, you were dashing straight towards the streets, not caring if people were giving you weird looks in the slightest. 

You quickly hail a taxi and give the driver your apartment address—you just don’t have the strength to take public transport anymore in your current state. 

The moment you opened your front door, your roommate was already expecting your return, with her arms crossed and feet tapping the ground. However, her expression softened when she saw that you were an absolute wreck in your current state. She immediately opened her arms wide, and you quickly slipped into her embrace and started crying again. 

It hurts so much, and you don’t know why exactly that is. 

Sunwoo was just a casual friend. You were both hanging out a lot more often these days, and he just so happened to be the very first man after your ex to have treated you exactly the way a woman should be treated. That was it, and there wasn’t much more to add to that. 

But deep down, you were expecting—no, hoping—that perhaps there was something a little bit more to that. 

Maybe you’re the one who was insane for thinking that way. 

He was a celebrity, and you are just a girl working in PR who happened to be able to work with renowned artists many times. 

There was absolutely no way that there could’ve been something more to that. 

You quickly wiped away your tears as you slowly pushed Flo away, trying your best to muster up whatever strength you had left within you to talk before your tears were about to flow again for the hundredth time tonight. 

“Flo…I just…I wanna go back,” you sniffled. 

With a sigh, your roommate began rubbing your back to comfort you. “I know. But rest up first for the night. Maybe I’ll make you some chamomile tea with extra boba to calm you down while we watch a little bit of Netflix? I’ll help you pack tomorrow morning, and we’ll call Lyla and Bella.” 

You chuckled. “What would I ever do without you?”

“By the way, I’m not doing all of these for free. You better get me VIP tickets to your next upcoming show with whoever celeb that you’re going to be working with.” 

“Deal.”

“Alright, let’s go have some girls’ night, shall we?” Flo gently flicked your forehead before dragging you into the living room. 

You couldn’t recall when you last enjoyed the countryside view from the train. 

You usually take the subway within Seoul, but it’s been a while since you took the train that goes from one province to another—especially where you grew up. 

Leaving Busan a year ago was a huge step for you, especially since you have always lived with your friends and family—basically being in your own comfort zone. You loved everything here, and there wasn’t much reason to move since Busan practically had almost everything Seoul had. 

The nightlife here was how you’ve always loved—going out to clubs while you knew almost everyone in your little town on the outskirts of Busan, and everyone just looked out for each other often. 

However, after the way things ended with your ex, you needed some time and space alone and thought that perhaps a location change would benefit you. The past year has been amazing in the city, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’ll never give you the comfort you loved best when you were back home.

And that was something you desperately needed right now. 

As soon as the train came to a halt and you stepped out of the vehicle, you quickly dashed right through the door and into both of your friends’ arms—they had been expecting your arrival since this morning. 

It’s been a while since you had spent time with both Lyla and Bella, so the three of you took the time to walk slowly back to the countryside while dragging your luggage behind you. As soon as they helped you settle down in your old home, the three of you quickly dashed out of the house to get a quick bite of local food down at the town centre. 

The three of you had fun browsing from store to store and filling your stomachs to the brink of possibly throwing up everything you had just consumed. You would constantly laugh at one another about how Lyla and Bella would look silly with ice cream smeared all over their mouths, and they would fight back when you accidentally got Malatang all over your shirt. 

These were the kinds of bickering that you’ve missed so badly. Sure, you always bicker with Flo, but both Lyla and Bella were the OGs constantly coming for your neck. You’re still holding onto the hope of bringing Flo to visit your childhood best friends someday. 

Now that the three of you had your own flavours of churros in hand, you decided to take a little stroll at the nearby park right before exiting the town and returning to the countryside. As soon as you found a comfortable bench that was more than enough for the three of you to take a break, Lyla was the first to start the conversation you have been dreading talking about since coming back.

But you knew that you couldn’t hide much from them any more; they knew all of the details by now (thanks to Flo, who would constantly keep them updated) and were this close to heading straight to Seoul with their pots and pans to head straight up to Sunwoo’s apartment to give him a lesson. 

“I honestly don’t know what to tell you guys. It all happened, and he just so happened to be the same as my ex,” you shrugged as you took a bite of your churros. 

“Men are all the same; they suck,” Lyla commented with her mouth full. 

“Trust that I’m tying him up and throwing him straight into the Egyptian river if we ever cross paths with one another,” Bella threatened as she pointed her churros straight into your face. 

“But wait…didn’t you mention that they were preparing for an upcoming comeback?” Lyla asked. 

You sighed. “That’s the problem. And I am again part of the PR team's line-up.”

“Damn. That’s brutal,” Bella spat. 

“It sure is,” you replied. 

“Well, what are you going to do about it then?” Lyla asked. 

You contemplated for a little while before telling your friends about your decision: “I am thinking of quitting the company.” 

Immediately, both Lyla and Bella shot up from their seats, not caring if the whipped cream on their churros fell straight down to the ground. Frustration was slowly creeping up to them and you were stunned by their reaction—you had no clue why they would be mad about your decision. 

“What do you mean you want to leave? You do know that means that you’ll never get to meet celebrities any more-”

“That’s not the point, Lyla. Look, Y/N. I don’t want to jinx anything, but you’re treating this issue as running away again, just like you did with your ex. You know, escaping from your problems will never help you to put a proper closure to them.” 

You hated the fact how much that truth hurt—it almost felt like you were being stabbed with a bunch of needles all at once. As much as you wanted to face them properly, you couldn’t. You couldn’t bear the thought of going through all the pain once again, and you wanted to omit all of the horrible outcomes that could potentially happen after all this. 

You also didn’t know how to feel about Sunwoo. Clearly, it wasn’t his fault for saying what he did back at Han River. Celebrities are not meant to date as to adhere to their company rules. If they did, they would get into big trouble, and you would be partly to blame. 

But why did that matter to you so much? 

Why did those words sting as hell? 

Most importantly, why did it matter to you anyway?

As you took a deep breath, you finally stood up and threw your leftover churros into the bin before placing both hands on each side of your friends’ shoulders. 

“Look, I appreciate both of you constantly looking out for me, even in different cities for work. Frankly, I don’t really want to talk about this anymore, and I will venture out to find something much more fitting for my current well-being. Let’s just go home now, hmm?” 

Both Lyla and Bella could only soften their eyes as they looked at you, who was close to shedding tears again. They could only pull you in for a hug before taking you back to your home and giving you some time to rest up since you have been out all day since you stepped down from the train. 

Your parents were away visiting some family members, so you had the entire house to yourself. You were used to being alone, and you enjoyed some peace and quiet occasionally, but it all just felt too eerily quiet. 

The emotions were creeping back to you, and you hated how you were slowly becoming overwhelmed with them again. 

Everything you saw reminded you about Sunwoo—how you both would sit together on his couch to watch anime, the way the leftover instant ramen in the kitchen reminded you about your little convenience store dates and how you slept in his bed when you were passed out drunk. 

As much as you tried your best to get him out of your head, you couldn’t.

And you hated that so much. 

Just as you are about to turn to sleep on your side, your phone lights up on your nightstand, so you extend your hands to check the notification that you have received.

managing director: Lads, be ready for our online briefing tomorrow at 10 a.m. on Zoom about The Boyz's upcoming showcase. 

Frustration began to consume your thoughts, and you just threw your phone onto the other side of the bed before burying your face into your pillow, screaming into it and wishing that you could quickly escape from this horrible nightmare. 

Kim Sunwoo, this is all your fault.

Miles apart back in the heart of Seoul, Sunwoo was once again staring at his ceiling as he lay down on his bed. There was nothing much that he could’ve done other than thinking about you wherever he went. With that, the bed was nowhere near as good as his fireplace, especially when he was the one who tucked you into his bed when you were drunk. 

Sunwoo hasn’t come up with a conclusion after all that thinking at his fireplace throughout the week, and it frustrates him that he doesn’t really know how to feel about all of this. 

Actually, scratch that. He clearly knows how he feels about you, but he refuses to admit it out loud. 

The only thing that has been helping Sunwoo to cope is that he would feel inspired to write songs about his emotions, and he did exactly just did right before hopping into bed.

The music score was situated right on his nightstand, and he groaned before taking it quickly and sat up to read the lyrics that he had just written down an hour ago.

Better when we’re both apart.  We’re no good for each other.  A lonely night, Baby girl, I loved you on a lonely night.  It was the only time If I led you on I apologize. How can I make you rethink your decision?

That made Sunwoo’s jaw dropped. He didn’t know that he wrote all of these the hour before—it was as if he was on autopilot, and he clearly wrote down his deepest thoughts about the whole situation.

I loved her? Did I really just write that down? 

Sunwoo kept staring at those three words, and he was now sitting frozen in bed, thinking that if that was really what he had been meaning to say out loud for so long. 

Without thinking much, he quickly grabbed his phone and began frantically searching up about something. 

Or rather, your location. 

He needed to get this off his chest, and he needed to talk to you right now. If he doesn’t, this will continue to haunt him for months, and he wasn’t going to be his best self any more. 

Immediately, he jumped right out of bed and rummaged through his wardrobe to take whatever he needed for the little short trip he was going on for a while.

He didn’t care if his manager would lecture him about skipping the morning rehearsals and meetings—it was the most important thing to him right now. 

Even if that meant he would be miles away from Seoul, he would get his message straight and clear to you this time.

Act 9 (아홉): Nothing Without You

If it hadn’t been for Lyla and Bella calling you nonstop for thirty minutes, you would’ve been in big trouble and missed out on your online meeting with your colleagues. 

You did your best to stay focused during the meeting—jotting down all the information required to run the show successfully in three days. It was a lot to take in, and all of you were expected to perform your very best, considering that this would be a rather crucial showcase for the artist, and many important figures from the industry would also be there. 

It seemed as if their company decided to go all out to make sure that the showcase was going to be as grand as possible, and the only thing you could assume was that they had to keep up with the image that they had painted in the industry and continue to keep their artist’s popularity at its best. 

Certain things did frustrate you a little, and so many questions ran through your mind as you questioned their company's decisions. But you were just someone who works in PR, and all you had to do was adhere to the rules and regulations and nothing else. 

After all, you decided you would quit after this one last show. 

The moment the meeting was over, and you decided to shut your laptop down, you could briefly hear some muffled noises coming from your front porch. You were confused as hell since you weren’t expecting any visitors for the day. Other than that, you told your friends that you would only be available during the night for some get-together at dinner since you needed some time alone in the afternoon to sort out the upcoming event. 

Curiously, you slowly stepped to your front door before pulling the sliding door apart, only to see that both Lyla and Bella were far from your house. It seemed as if they were arguing about something…or rather, with someone.

Now, you were more concerned than before. The only person who could get both your friends this riled up was your ex, and that confrontation between them did not go down well the last time it happened—which was also the last time you saw him.

As far as you know, your ex was long gone from your village, and he had moved all the way to Jeju to settle down with his new fiancé. So, who exactly could it be this time? 

“Guys, what did I say about having a heated argument in front of my house-” 

You were about to break your friends up from the commotion until all three of them turned back to look straight at you. 

And you were certainly not expecting the one in the middle of your friends to be here at all.

“S-Sunwoo?” 

“N-No! Y/N, you must be real tired from the meeting, hmm? Why don’t I take you inside to get some ice-cream that’s left in your freezer? Yeah, let’s do exactly that!” Lyla began panicking as she tried to lure you away from the scene, but she should’ve known how persistent you could be and that you were already breaking free from her grasp. 

Neither of you could say anything and just stared at one another for a good ten seconds. However, your friends definitely did not take the situation well, and they were not ready to see you cry your eyes out for the hundredth time. 

“You don’t belong here, Kim. I say you should leave, and don’t you even dare try anything stupid,” Bella hissed. 

“Look, I’m going to leave, that is after I talk to Y/N-”

“What is there to talk about? Was hurting her not enough for you? You men truly are scumbags-” 

“Lyla, enough.” 

Your response was short and simple, but it was enough to make everyone stop what they were doing and divert their attention towards you. You slowly walked up to Sunwoo and gently grabbed his shirt to gesture to him to walk in the other direction. 

“Leave us alone for a couple of minutes. I believe there’s a long-overdue conversation that both of us must get out of the way for weeks. I won’t take long, I promise.” 

With that, you excused yourself and tugged Sunwoo’s tee to walk him through your neighbourhood and slowly towards the park where you often hung out with your friends. Neither of you could start the conversation, and it was just pure silence throughout the ten-minute walk from your house. 

However, Sunwoo figured food was the best option to start the conversation. Thankfully, there was a convenience store near the park, and the two of you quickly went in to grab a little snack to break the ice between you hopefully. 

He went for his Neoguri Ramyeon as usual, and you decided a little matcha latte would do the trick. You don’t think that you’re able to stomach anything for now, just in case you will cry once again and could potentially throw up everything you had just consumed. 

As much as you detested that he once again paid for everything, you reluctantly accepted the offer and quietly held your warm cup of beverage in hand as you both sat down at the bench in the park, keeping a distance from one another. 

All you could do was stare down at the lid of the latte, your fingers tapping on the hot cup while trying your best to calm your emotions down. Sunwoo was busy slurping away his noodles, and it was slowly starting to annoy you slightly. 

“You still have the appetite to eat?” You scoffed. 

“Look, I had to get last-minute tickets for the earliest train from Seoul to Busan. Be grateful that at least I’ve arrived on time,” Sunwoo protested while stuffing his mouth with the noodles. 

You wished you could respond to his sarcasm the way you usually would, but it seemed that the enthusiasm you once had for all that was now long gone, and you could only clear your throat in response. 

Sunwoo was now clearly reading the atmosphere, and he swallowed the last bite of his noodles before tossing the cup into the trash bin beside him. Instantly, he placed both hands together and began rubbing them nervously as he leaned down to look at the ground. 

“Y/N, I…I’ve been such a jerk to you after everything we have been through. It’s unfair for you, and I have been deceiving myself after all these years.”

That last line caught you off guard. “Excuse me?” 

“I once had a girl whom I loved so much that my world revolved around her. She was my everything, and I wouldn’t hesitate to drop whatever I was doing to be with her and to make her the happiest girl in the world. But betrayal and lust are definitely not planned in the books, and they are truly the most unpleasant things that happen to someone in life.” 

You knew those two words very well. After all, you were also a victim once. 

“She…did unthinkable things, which has made me the person I am today. I ignored it long enough, thinking it was fine to continue living like this. That is, until I met you,” Sunwoo’s voice softened at that last line, and he finally lifted his head to look straight into your eyes. 

“Y/N. You showed me what true friendship is, and I fell in love with how you could always be so pure and honest with your feelings and emotions. You made me realise that what I have been doing wasn’t just hurting and deceiving others and myself. I can’t live on like this, and I desperately want to change.” 

Sunwoo took one of your hands and intertwined his fingers with yours, giving you this soft puppy look to show his sincerity.

“Y/N. I need you. Will you please accept this offer?” 

You were too stunned to give him a proper response. You were certain that you probably spent a minute just staring at him before you felt that your cheeks were suddenly wet to the touch, and that’s when you realised that tears were streaming down your face again.

Sure, you have expected Sunwoo to travel all this way to see you and to talk things out, but you weren’t expecting a confession from the male himself. 

Relief swept over you, and all the worries troubling you were gone. Unfortunately, the heartbreak was far stronger than the latter, and you don’t have the room or strength to go through the turmoil again. 

With that, you gently pushed his hands away and stood up from the bench, wiping your tears away before turning your heel in the opposite direction. 

“Maybe you should’ve thought all that through before placing the nail in the coffin.”

Act 10 (열): Die For You

Coming back to Seoul was a lot harder than you expected it to be. You were this close to potentially ditching your final job and just calling in sick, but you knew it wouldn’t be ideal, and you had promised to work together with your team for one last time. 

After dropping by the office to hand in your resignation letter, you made your way towards the concert hall and went straight to work without having a proper break before everything. It was all fine by you; after all, getting yourself occupied was the very least you could do to keep your mind off things for a while. 

However, you underestimated the workload you would deal with, as their showcase this time seemed a lot more complex than the ones you were used to. There were a few mishaps here and there, but that didn’t stop you from continuing your task. 

T-minus 12 hours more till I’m done with all of these. 

Having that as a constant reminder has proven to be a lot more helpful than before, and slowly, your motivation was coming back to finishing up things as quickly and detailed as you could before the showcase was about to begin. 

Journalists and newscasters flocked to the venue first, and your PR team had to deal with them firsthand. It wasn’t too bad, as talking to people has always been your forte. Just like that, it was time for the fans to enter the hall slowly. Soon enough, you and your team headed backstage to help the artists and other staff prepare for the show. 

The band members slowly stepped out one by one and started putting on their in-ear pieces and getting their instruments ready. Of course, Sunwoo still had that same puppy-doe-eyed look as he had the day before back in Busan. 

He was constantly trying his best to grab your attention—giving you a hiss or a little wave, but you had no desire to return those to him. Instead, you flat-out ignored the guy and constantly got yourself busy by going around to each station to check with the other staff. 

It wasn’t long before the members were scheduled to go up on stage, and Sunwoo gave you one final look and mouthed something towards you before taking that step up to greet the fans. 

Watch me. 

You could only sigh and cross your arms as you watched from backstage as The Boyz first greeted all of their fans and the reporters before positioning their instruments to prepare for the first opening act. They started with their title track, Hurt Me Less, and soon followed it with a few more tracks from the album before having a little Q&A session with the fans.

Finally, they ended the showcase by performing one last song before all of the members walked up to the front of the stage and bowed towards the audience. One by one, each member was exiting the stage and started to take off their in-ear pieces. 

That is, all except for Sunwoo.

He stood frozen for a few seconds on stage, and immediately, whispers filled the hall, thinking that everything was alright with the artist himself. 

Not for long, Sunwoo lifted his head and walked back to the centre of the stage—adjusting his microphone and slinging his guitar on his shoulders again.

Obviously, everyone backstage started panicking and tried their best to get Sunwoo off the stage, as it was not going according to the schedule. You, too, were trying to hiss at the male to get his attention, call it a night, and end the performance right there and there.

But it seemed the male had something in mind, and he wouldn’t budge. 

Instead, he turned to look straight at you and gave you a little smile before diverting his attention towards the crowd once again.

“I apologise for the sudden change of plans, but this is something that I have been meaning to do for a while now. You see, we performed all seven tracks in our latest album, but one hidden track has not yet been released to the public. So here I am tonight, revealing the hidden track to all of my precious fans, but most importantly, to a special someone.” 

Just then, Sunwoo began strumming his guitar and started playing the song's tune. As he slowly finished the intro and was just about to start singing the lyrics, he turned to look straight at you and smiled at you as he mumbled a few more words. 

“This song is specially written and dedicated to you.” I'm findin' ways to articulate the feelin' I'm goin' through I just can't say I don't love you (Yeah) 'Cause I love you, yeah It's hard for me to communicate the thoughts that I hold But tonight, I'm gon' let you know Let me tell the truth Baby, let me tell the truth, yeah

No. That can’t be.

You know what I'm thinkin', see it in your eyes You hate that you want me, hate it when you cry You're scared to be lonely, 'specially in the night I'm scared that I'll miss you, happens every time I don't want this feelin', I can't afford love I try to find a reason to pull us apart It ain't workin' 'cause you're perfect And I know that you're worth it I can't walk away, oh

“W-What…What are you trying to tell me, Sunwoo?” You choked on your words.

Even though we're goin' through it And it makes you feel alone Just know that I would die for you Baby, I would die for you, yeah The distance and the time between us It'll never change my mind 'cause Baby, I would die for you Baby, I would die for you, yeah

As he finishes the first half of the song, Sunwoo takes some time to strum his guitar, letting the audience follow along with the rhythm as he takes a deep breath before making another speech. 

“These lyrics…I have been thinking about them for a while now. These feelings have haunted me for weeks, and now I know I must convey them properly to the special someone,” Sunwoo spoke softly before he continued with the second half of the song.

You had no idea why that was the last blow before tears began streaming down your face uncontrollably, and you dashed right through the exit, not caring that your co-workers were calling you from behind. 

You continued running through the night, not caring where you’d end up; you just needed some time to be alone and let out all the feelings you had been bottling for so long. 

Eventually, you ended up back at Han River, and you immediately went to the nearest bench and lay there helplessly. Your emotions were far stronger than your ability to think logically right now, and you just wanted to cry out loud for as long as you could. 

You have no idea how long has passed since then, but you were pretty sure that you had at least cried for half an hour before you dozed off. By the time you woke up, you felt that the rock-solid bench suddenly felt way too soft and comfortable. 

And how warm it was. 

It was then you realised that you weren’t just lying on the bench but rather on someone. 

“S-Sunwoo!?” You screamed as you realised that you had been lying down on his lap for God knows how long, and you quickly tried to sit back up, but the male decided to push you back down instead.

“Now I’m very heartbroken, Princess. How could you leave in the middle of the spectacular performance I’ve spent so long working on, especially for you?” He sulked. 

Those last words stung you again, and you lifted both of your hands to cover your face once more as you felt that you were about to cry again. But it seemed that Sunwoo wasn’t buying it this time, and he quickly grabbed both of your wrists to stop you. 

“Look at me, Y/N. Stop running away from me,” he commanded. 

“W-What makes you think I’d listen to you? You have done nothing but lie to me all this time. You hurt my feelings, and you treated me like one of the girls that you have always sought comfort from. You’re an idiot to think if you’d stand a fair chance-”

Before you could finish your sentence, Sunwoo sealed your lips with his and gently lifted your head slightly to make it easier for him to gain access. It’s been a while since you tasted his soft, plump lips, and you immediately softened up when you tasted that familiar strawberry lip gloss that you used the same one as he did.

As he slowly pulled away and placed you back onto his lap, he caressed your cheeks and wiped the remaining teardrops away. “Sorry that I was rough with you. It was the best thing I could think of to get a woman to stop crying.” 

“S-Sunwoo…I-”

“Y/N. Please. I need to hear your thoughts about how you truly feel about this. I know I’m the worst jerk alive and that me going to Busan to apologise to you wasn’t enough. Words aren’t my forte, so I conveyed my feelings through performing. But you have to know that whatever I’ve sung back there, those really are the words that I desperately wanted to get across all this time and that I’m done playing games.” 

Just then, he slowly moved his hands from your cheek to your lips and gently brushed against it. “Y/N, I can now confidently say that you mean a lot to me. You’re more than just a friend, a companion who eats Neoguri Ramyun with me all the time at the convenience store, and also the one who just happens to get me all the damn time.” 

With one final deep breath, he leans down again to plant a kiss on your forehead before muttering those simple words.

“Y/N, I’m in love with you.” 

It was so simple, yet captivating enough for you. 

You have so desperately wanted to hear those words from him—to know if it has helped you finally cleared all of your suspicions and doubts from the beginning. To the public, it was absurd for a commoner like you to fall in love with a celebrity and vice versa, but you were certain that those memories that you both have made weren’t just for show, and Sunwoo’s actions and words for the night have proven that enough to you. 

Nobody would’ve thought that a simple encounter between you both, exchanging your phones and meeting up at a convenience store to eat, would lead to the current situation that you both were in. 

Was it fate? Or just purely a coincidence? Neither of that matters to you right now. 

Instead, you snaked one of your hands back up to his neck and pulled him down to connect your lips with his again, taking your time to savour his sweet, plump lips truly. Sunwoo was initially taken aback, but he slowly blended in and began picking up his pace, his tongue swirling around yours. 

As soon as you both broke apart to get some air, you realised you had just returned the sneaky and flirtatious Sunwoo as he brushed his fingers on his lips and gave you a sly smirk. 

“You could’ve just told me you wanted me this bad,” Sunwoo hummed. 

“You’re sick in the head,” you replied as you finally sat back up. 

“So…I take it as a yes to my proposal?” Sunwoo grinned. 

“What proposal?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Y/N. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Frankly, I don’t.”

“Is that so? Maybe you want to reconnect your lips with mine again? Maybe it’ll then give you a better insight of what I was trying to tell you all along-”

“Your breath stinks,” you stuck your tongue out at him. 

“No, it doesn’t!” Sunwoo quickly lets out a breath onto his palm before sniffing it himself. “You liar! I just used my favourite citrus mouthwash before the show!” 

You immediately giggled at the sight, and Sunwoo was delighted to see you returning to the Y/N he knew. Just then, he places his arms over your shoulders and rests your head against his chest as you both take the time to admire the sky filled with dozens of stars. 

“Say, you’re not supposed to be here, are you?”

“Hey, I’m still a model employee, okay? I quickly wrapped things up at the showcase before rushing to find you sleeping like a baby here.” 

“I’m not a baby,” you sulked.

“Your sleeping position says otherwise,” Sunwoo retorted as he shoved his phone right into your face, showing you a picture he had taken just seconds after he arrived to see you sleeping soundly on the bench. 

“Hey! Delete that right now!” You screamed as you tried your best to reach for his phone while he was retreating to make you fall right back into his arms again.”

“You’re a persistent one, aren’t you?” 

“Shut the fuck up, Kim Sunwoo. You’re insufferable.” 

“Be honest, you love me.”

“Only a fool would love a guy like you.”

“Oh, so you’re the fool now, then!”

Sunwoo immediately regrets saying those words as he earned a hard slap from you in return. “I’m leaving if you make one more flirtatious remark.” 

He then lifts his hands to show that he surrendered, and you give him a pout before resting your head back onto his chest again. As you finally take in everything that had happened today, a smile plasters across your face before you close your eyes and mumble the words you have wanted to say to him. 

“Thank you, Sunwoo. For giving me a chance to love again.” 

“Anything for you, my Princess,” Sunwoo replied before kissing your forehead again. “Neoguri Ramyun date again later?” 

“Does your life really have to revolve around Neoguri Ramyun on a daily basis?”

“Can’t blame me; that’s my daily energy source. But so that you know, I will be bringing you to a lot more dates from now on, and I’m never going to let you leave my side again. Be prepared for that, Y/N.” 

You scoffed. “Tempting. Add on a matcha-day only date to the books, too.”

With that, Sunwoo smiled at you and rubbed his nose against yours. “Consider it done.”

The sounds of the fire crackling were the only things that filled the room for the past half an hour, as Sunwoo spent the entire time writing whatever came to mind in his trusty, worn-out notebook in front of his fireplace. 

The Boyz’s latest album has proven to be their most successful comeback, and who would’ve thought that the hidden track was the most beloved song out of all of the songs from the album itself. 

It definitely wasn’t his intention for it to be more well-received than their title track. Still, the members were more than happy that they were getting the recognition nonetheless, and of course, with Sunwoo, who’s finally back on track and much happier. 

News immediately made headlines when the public found out that he has been seeing a non-celebrity, but both of you were thankful that his fans were supportive, and Sunwoo has managed to keep you out of the spotlight most of the time. 

It was crazy to think that a few months had passed since then, and you had decided to move in with Sunwoo for the past month. You’ve quit your PR job; instead, you are now working as his manager. 

You both have made it clear to establish personal and business relations and most of the time, everything works out. There are times when both of you have to give up one thing for the other, but you have never failed to talk things through and make it work.

Just as Sunwoo was deep in his creative mindset, his train of thought was cut off when you climbed into his lap and cuddled with your boyfriend.

“Seems like my kitten misses me a little bit too much, hmm?” 

“Don’t be stupid. You’re sitting on my couch, dumbass.” 

“Hey, this is my apartment; who said this couch belongs to you?”

“This couch was from my old apartment, so it’s mine,” you stuck your tongue out before trying to see what he was up to. “New song?”

“Yeah. Was feeling a little inspired,” Sunwoo hummed. 

With that, you could only look straight at his side profile and admire how he looked when working. As much as you don’t want to admit it, you have come to love the guitarist Kim Sunwoo. He always put in a hundred percent when he worked, inspiring you to do the same as his current manager.

“Care to share with me what the new song is all about?” You pinched his cheeks, but he gently pushed you away. “That’s not fair. I’m your manager, so I deserve to know.” 

“Now now, it’ll just ruin the fun if I tell you all about it now.”

“Fine then. No Neoguri Ramyun for you tonight,” you crossed your arms before he finally gave in and hugged you tightly.

“You can’t use my source of nutrition against me,” he sulked. 

“I can, and I will if you don’t tell me now.”

Sunwoo sighed. “Fine. It’s titled Starboy. I guess it gives a little glimpse into the current fame that I have gotten over the past several years.” 

As you took in what you had just heard from your boyfriend, you couldn’t help but snort at his comment, earning a little smack on your shoulder. “How dare you mock me?”

“Nah, it’s nothing. I just think that it’s absurd that you want to write a song about that.”

“Yeah no, you’re looking down on me, Y/N. I’m going to make sure you-” 

Before he could finish his sentence, you cupped both cheeks and brought his lips to yours, giving him a kiss that made his heart beat ten times faster than it already was. He definitely did not expect a sudden move from you since he always initiated a kiss with you.

As you pulled apart from him, you gently laid your forehead against him, and you caressed his now red flushed cheeks. 

“Kim Sunwoo, you’re already and will forever be my Starboy.”

A/N: i def struggled writing this yes...but i hope i did it justice nontheless 😭

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[sunafc]

accidentally in love - 17, single

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Right now you are going to the college library, Oikawa offered to help you study for your linguistics exam. He’s right beside you and your fingers brush against each other’s as you walk. This is nice, you think. Over the past few weeks you and Oikawa had spent a lot of time together. It felt natural to be part of each other’s lives. You wanted to introduce him to your friends, as you had just met his own.

Oikawa tugs at your hand, ‘Are you listening to me?’

‘Sorry,’ you look down at your hands, interlaced together, ‘What did you say?’

He smiles softly at you, ‘Do you want to grab dinner together, later?’

Oikawa doesn’t let go of your hand and you come to realize you enjoy that. His skin is really soft. He tugs at you again, noticing you’re getting lost in your thoughts once more.

‘Sure,’ you nod smiling back at him.

He holds the door to the library open for you and then follows you in. You spend a few minutes looking for the books you need before finding a free table.

You chose to study in the library because you knew if you studied at home you would get somehow distracted, though it seems the library isn’t really helping you. You’re finding it very difficult to concentrate when Oikawa is sitting next to you and his thigh presses against yours under the table. You keep reading the same sentence over and over again but the words have no meaning. You can’t stop thinking about how the last couple weeks have felt like dating, rumors even started going around campus about you two. But you don’t need a boyfriend, that’s what you settled on. You let out a deep sigh and read that sentence once more.

Once you’re done reading the chapter Oikawa lends you some flash cards, ‘I made these when I took this exam, I thought maybe they could help you.’

‘Thanks,’ you smile.

He pats your head ‘You seem a little out of it,’ his fingers run through your hair, ‘Are you alright?’

You open your mouth to reply, already thinking of the usual answer Just tired, but you stop when you notice two girls making their way towards your table. Oikawa’s hand in your hair drops to your thigh as he turns to them.

‘Hey,’ one of the girls says, fidgeting with her hands. Oh, you already have a feeling of what is about to happen and the air around you starts feeling really cold.

‘Are you single, Oikawa?’ She finally asks.

He nervously looks at you and you’re not sure how to read his face. He looks back at the girl. Your stomach is in a knot, he is single, you two are not dating. She’s really pretty, too. You don’t want to be there when he answers her, you quickly gather your things under the confused gaze of Oikawa.

His grip on your thigh tightens ‘Y/n?’

You move his hand, ‘Sorry I–’ you get up, ‘I need to go,’ you walk towards the exit without even thinking about making up some excuse. Your heart is racing, your hands are tingling, it’s hard to swallow and you’re feeling anxious, worried, sad... is this jealousy? This is all my fault, you want to be mad at Oikawa but this was really all your doing. You did exactly what you told him not to do so, really, you can only be mad at yourself. You shake your head as your vision starts to get blurry because of the tears forming in the corner of your eyes.

notes:

well well well, if these aren't the consequences of y/n's own actions... ops

anyways!

things will get better next chapter.. maybe😋

for the people who asked to be added to the taglist but don't see their names: tumblr won't let me tag u for some reason so i'm sorry abt that 🙁

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[charliemwrites]

Introducing: Rook “Duke” Alistair

(Just a little character intro before she makes a proper appearance in the SpecGru fic)

It’s 2am.

It’s 2am and Kate’s phone is buzzing. A rapid, violent bzzt-bzzt-bzzzzzzt pattern that shakes the few other items on the nightstand. Incessant. Important.

She plucks it off the charger already wide awake, propped on one elbow to block some of the screen light from reaching the other side of the bed.

“Laswell,” she answers, hushed.

The voice on the other end is not. “Gooood mornin’, boss.”

“It’s 2am, Duke.”

“It’s 2:17 to be precise.”

Kate doesn’t bother to check the clock. “You're calling for a good reason, I assume.”

“Of course!” In the background, there’s a computerized ding. Then the clacking of a keyboard. Duke continues, still bright as birdsong, “I have a lead on that terrorist cell. Not - hold on - Nelson, put my slushee back in there I’ll get it in a damn minute! Anyway, not the one with the ugly flag. The one with the dumb name.”

Nelson, Kate thinks vaguely, is going to get mysteriously transferred if he doesn’t stop messing with a certain tech’s frozen treats. This is the third time this week.

“The Gun Fathers?” she offers.

“Haha, yeah them!” More clicking. A thump and a yelp in the background. “They’re planning on taking some exchange students hostage in Russia.”

Kate’s slips out of bed, phone held in place with her shoulder. Sighs a little wistfully at her wife’s sleeping form, but duty calls. She’ll make this up to her - dinner at that nice tapas place, maybe. Duke can get them a reservation.

“What students?”

“Working on the individual files now, but it looks like a fun mix. Some Australians, some Brits, a bunch of US citizens… ooh, someone from France, that’s rough.”

Hell, that’s a lot of governments to coordinate with.

“Where?” Kate asks, tugging her socks on.

“Looks like they’re going to grab them from a hotel in the Caucuses. Caucuses? Cauc-ussies? Cucksies?”

She pauses to drop a gentle kiss to her wife’s cheek, then pads out of their bedroom. The house is dark, cool. She navigates without light, stepping into her shoes.

“How many?”

The cats stretch as she passes through the living room, snatching her shoulder holster out of the hall closet.

“16 students total, not sure how many terrorists. Aw, is Chauncey awake? Give him a smooch for me! These dummies usually go for a ratio of three innocents to one dummy though. Ugh it’s not a round number.”

More clacking. The sound of a plastic rapper through the earpiece. Duke’s broken out the candies then.

“What else have you got for me?”

“It looks like we’ve got about 35 hours until they move in. But! We confiscated their new supply of guns during that border raid soooooo—” she clicks her tongue, the typing sounds get much louder and faster for a moment. “They should be… pretty… low… on… ammo…”

A pause Duke seems to focus on something. Kate takes the opportunity to finish’s dressing, keys in her hand. She pats Chauncey and Augustus as she passes them.

“I’ll be there in fifteen,” she says.

A hum. “Eleven, actually. I have the traffic system pulled up.”

Of course she does. Laswell would tell her to stop doing that if she thought it would do any good.

“I’m sending a bunch of files your way,” Duke adds. “Drive safe and give Chauncey that damn smooch!”

The phone beeps as the call disconnects. When Kate looks at her phone screen, she’s got a small library of information waiting for her. Names, locations, pictures and security feeds - and a note promising more on the way.

Next

Masterlist

[roosterforme]

Batting Practice Part 17 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Bradley keeps making up little excuses to see you every day, not wanting his winning streak to end just yet. And when Everett is the one benefitting from these plans, it just makes you want your boyfriend even more. But when Frank embarrasses you in front of Bradley, you feel like the winning streak is coming to an end. 

Warnings: Smut, fluff, angst and swearing

Length: 3600 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female single!mom Reader

Check my masterlist for more Top Gun fun! Batting Practice masterlist.

The fact that you didn't have to wait even an entire day to see Bradley after he slept over made you feel so good. But the amount of work you managed to get through was laughable, even for a Monday, because you couldn't stop thinking about him. When you picked Everett up from school and drove to the ballfield, both of you were buzzing with excitement. 

"Coach Bradley makes good pancakes," Everett said. "Not to be rude, but they are better than the ones you make."

You took a deep breath and glanced at him in the rearview mirror as you pulled into the parking lot. "Ev, are you sure you're okay with Bradley spending more time with us? Like maybe being at our house for dinners and breakfasts?"

"Yeah! He's going to help me with baseball stuff and math homework."

He was going to stick around. You made him work for his apology, because you were scared, but he was sincere. It struck you that Bradley was already so much more dependable and loving than Danny had ever been, and that made your heart ache for Everett. Maybe you should reconsider your current arrangement with your ex.

Bradley was jogging up to meet you as you parked next to his Bronco, and he was opening your door and leaning in to kiss you before you turned the engine off. 

"I missed you, Kitten," he whispered before his lips met yours, and he ran his fingers along the chain of your necklace. You looked up at him and smiled as Everett scrambled out of the backseat, and soon he was standing beside Bradley, right next to your door. 

"Did you have a good day at school?" Bradley asked him, turning Everett's hat backwards so they matched. 

"It was kind of dumb compared to the Phillies game."

Bradley nodded very seriously at him. "Most things are."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

You laughed. They were like twins in their interests and love of baseball. "Let's go get your cleats on, Ev." But to your surprise, Bradley did up Everett's shoes on the bleachers, then sent him over to Bob, and then kissed you. Right in front of everyone. A long, lingering kiss, after which he whispered in your ear how much he loved having a sleepover with you. 

And then he was gone, and the matching scowls on the faces of Sandra and Tara had you giddy.

"Holy hell," Molly gasped, walking up behind you. "When I didn't hear from you last night, I figured that was a good thing."

You hugged your sister and kissed her cheek and whispered. "I have a boyfriend." She smiled at you and took your hand. Then you sat together and watched both of the coaches while you cheered for Everett.

-------------------------------

When Bradley walked you and Everett to your car, he caught sight of Molly and Bob making out in the parking lot. He figured another family pizza night would be in his future. And he wanted nothing more than to be making out with you, but there would be time for that later. 

"Thanks for packing me a lunch today," he whispered, pushing you up against your car door after Everett was buckled in. He pictured the brown paper bag with Coach written on one side with a bunch of hearts. 

"Oh, did you like that?" 

"All the guys were so jealous," he said with a smirk, pinning your hips in place with his big hands. "They had to eat cafeteria food, and nobody drew hearts for them."

Your laughter as he kissed your neck made him smile. "I'll pack you a lunch whenever you sleep over."

"You're never gonna get rid of me," he whispered, sucking on the spot just below your ear. The idea of not seeing you and Everett tomorrow had him inviting you to visit him on base right away. "If you want to bring Everett to North Island after you pick him up from school tomorrow, I'd love to show you guys off."

You laughed as you opened your car door. "Don't you mean show off your jet?"

"No. Show you off."

You ran your hand along his abs, caressing him through his sweaty shirt. Bradley kissed you one more time as you climbed in. 

"So you'll come?" he asked, leaning down as you buckled your seatbelt. 

You smirked and turned toward Everett. "Bradley invited us to visit the Naval base tomorrow after school. Wanna go?"

His eyes went wide as he bounced in his seat. "Yes! I've wanted to go since Career Day! All my friends think I'm the coolest because I invited the best adult!"

Bradley laughed and said, "I'll see you both tomorrow."

When he arrived on base on Tuesday and told everyone that you and Everett were going to visit that afternoon, Nat started freaking out. 

"What does this mean, Rooster?" she asked, looking at him with hopeful eyes. 

"It means Hangman managed to help my unfuck everything up after he fucked it up."

Jake smirked. "I am sorry. But you shouldn't let me around your cute girlfriend. That goes for you too, Bob."

"So you're both officially dating the sisters?" Nat asked with a grin.

"Yes," Bradley and Bob said in unison, and Bradley noticed how flushed Bob's cheeks were. 

Jake snorted. "Sounds like a porno. Are you two gonna switch hit?" he asked, and Nat elbowed him so hard in the ribs, Bradley thought he heard something snap. 

"What?" Bob asked innocently. "What does that mean?"

"It means Jake is a pig and he's about to shut the fuck up for the rest of the day," Nat said loudly while Bradley shook his head.

"Seriously, can you keep your mouth shut in front of her this time? And her son? The last thing I need is you teaching him something filthy."

Jake winced and rubbed his side while he drawled, "You don't want me rubbing off on your stepson?"

Eight weeks ago, the idea of anything even close to a stepson in Bradley's life would have been laughable. But now, the thought didn't bother him at all. He was actually warming up to it more and more. 

"No. I do not. Keep your mouth shut."

------------------------------

The security protocols to get onto the base at Top Gun were extensive. You had to wait while someone with a dog searched your car, and someone else checked underneath it with mirrors. Everett practically vibrated in his booster seat when he saw the security dog, but you told him over and over again that he wasn't allowed to touch a working dog. 

But when you finally pulled into the visitor's parking area, Bradley was standing on the curb with Bob, waiting for you. And they were both wearing their flight suits. You were staring, you knew you were, but the way that thing fit Bradley was a real treat. And when he opened your door for you and pulled you right into his arms, you kissed him immediately. 

"Hi, Kitten," he whispered, his voice as deep as it was when he was tangled up in bed with you, and you forgot for a second why you were here. "Ready for a quick tour?"

"Yeah," you told him, while you followed Bob and Everett inside to a hangar filled with jets and equipment. You listened to Bradley and Bob explain what everything was, and you watched Bob help Everett climb up into one of the cockpits.

"Okay, okay!" Everett called out as you took his picture. "This is as cool as the Phillies game!" Obviously this was just going to add fuel to his fire; Everett already thought Bradley was the coolest adult in existence, but now you'd never hear the end of it. 

"If you think that's fun," Bradley told him, scooping Everett up for a piggy back ride, "just wait until you get to sit in my Super Hornet."

"Does it have your name on the side?" he asked in awe.

"We looked up some information online," you told Bradley and Bob. "And now he's a little obsessed with how they paint the pilot's and weapon systems officer's name and call sign on the side."

And then you stopped talking, because as soon as you exited out the far side of the hangar, you were confronted by a row of absolutely massive jets all lined up in a precise row. 

"Whoa!" Everett shouted from his perch on Bradley's back. "That one's yours!"

You looked where Everett was pointing and saw the jet with LT BRADLEY BRADSHAW "ROOSTER" emblazoned on the side. And Bradley's friend Nat was sitting in the cockpit waving down at everyone. You watched your son wave to her with a smile on his face. 

"Hi, Everett!" she called down. "Check it out! We gave you your own call sign!"

You and Everett watched as she unrolled a huge sheet of paper with Everett's name followed by "GRAND SLAM" written on it, and let it cover Bradley's name.

"Oh my goodness!" you gasped, smiling while Everett cheered. 

"I have a call sign!"

"Do you like it?" Bob asked. "You hit the ball so hard at practice, we thought it was fitting." 

"It's so cool," Everett told him, still wide eyed as Bradley carried him over to the jet. You stood next to Bob and watched Bradley help Everett climb up the ladder, and then Nat helped him into the cockpit with her.

"I've never seen him this happy before," you said, shaking your head and taking another picture. 

Bob laughed and adjusted his glasses. "I've never seen Bradley this happy before."

Your smile grew as you listened to Bradley and Nat explain all of the controls. "Well, I've never seen Molly as happy as she is now."

The endearing touch of pink that tinted Bob's cheeks had you positively certain that your sister had this man wrapped around her fingers. "Molly is..." He swallowed hard. "Well... your sister..." he started. "Yeah. I'm happy, too."

"If everyone is happy, we should try to keep it that way," you told him, and that's when you noticed Jake strolling over. 

He nodded at you while Bob shot him a warning look. "You better be nice to Team Mom," he warned. 

But Jake just held up his hands as you turned away from him to glance up at Bradley, Nat and Everett. "I want to apologize," Jake drawled, and you looked at him with a smirk. "I spoke out of turn last time I saw you, and I'm sorry. Clearly that man is into moms," he said, jerking his thumb in Bradley's direction. 

You snorted. "Apology accepted."

Bradley eventually helped Everett down the ladder with the promise of visiting the popcorn machine in the lounge. When you grabbed Bradley's hand and pulled him closer, you whispered, "I wouldn't be upset if you wanted to stop by my place for a bit after Ev is in bed later."

The look on Bradley's face let you know that he knew exactly what you had in mind. 

-------------------------

Bradley had been in your house for about thirty seconds when you worked the zipper down the front of his flight suit and sunk to the floor in front of him.

"Oh, fuck," he groaned, shrugging out of the sleeves as you pulled his cock out of his underwear and wrapped your lips around him. You were still all made up from work and the visit to base, but you'd changed into sweatpants and a sports bra. Bradley reached down to rub your peaked nipples through the thin fabric while your red lips gilded expertly over his length. "Jesus, Kitten."

You just hummed and looked up at him as your tongue swirled in a delicious circle that had him taking a deep breath. You bobbed your mouth along, your eyes locked on his, watching him come undone for you. Hands on his thighs, you occasionally teased his balls with your fingernails. And when he got a little rough with his hands at the back of your head, you just moaned around him, letting him hit the back of your throat. 

But Bradley almost passed out when he growled, "I'm so close." Because you popped him out of your mouth and pumped your hand along his length while you opened your mouth and stuck your tongue out for him. The sight of his cum painting your lips, tongue and cheeks white had him thrusting into your hand. A sound halfway between a laugh and a surprised gasp escaped his lips as you looked up at him, a drop of his cum falling from your lip onto your tongue. 

And then you were sucking on the tip of his softening dick like a lollipop, and Bradley's eyes drifted closed. "It's not my birthday. I didn't get promoted. Today was just a Tuesday, but that felt like an extra special treat."

"How do you know every blowjob I give you won't be just like that one?" you asked with a smile as Bradley swiped his cum from your cheek with two fingers. 

You sucked them into your mouth while he moaned. "Kitten."

Once you had licked up every last drop, Bradley pulled you to your feet and kissed you. "It was kind of an extra special treat," you told him as you wrapped your arms around his neck. "For today. And the Phillies game, too. Every time you're sincerely sweet to Everett, it makes me insanely horny for you, Bradley."

"I love that kid," he replied as he nipped along your lips. "And I love you, too."

Bradley wanted to sleep over, but it was late, and Wednesday was his early morning. But he followed you up to your bathroom, and watched you take off your makeup and brush your teeth. And then he tucked you in bed with a kiss to your forehead. "I will sleep over a different night," he promised, and then he paused in your doorway as you looked at him, all snuggled in your plush bedding. "Okay if I go check on Ev?"

"Yes," you whispered, looking at him like you were ready to climb out of bed and suck him off again. Bradley could get used to this. Surprise blowjobs and packed lunches and baseball in the park. You and Ev.

When he quietly walked down the hallway and peeked inside Everett's bedroom, he watched his small, strong body rise and fall with each breath. He glanced around and then smiled when he saw that you or Everett hand hung up the banner with Everett's call sign. It was just a big roll of paper. If Everett really liked having an honorary call sign, Bradley would get him something that said Grand Slam on it for him. 

Before Bradley left, he walked back into your bedroom where you were nearly asleep. He kissed you while you smiled against his lips. "Good night," he whispered but you grabbed his hand when he turned to leave. 

"I left something on the kitchen counter for you. It's in an envelope."

"What is it?" he asked. 

You held his eye contact for a beat before you said, "A house key."

Bradley's heart skipped a beat, and when he finally managed to make his way downstairs, he grabbed the envelope that said Coach in your handwriting. Then he locked up behind himself when he left.

-------------------------------

You had given Bradley a key to your house after you'd been dating him for a matter of days. Probably barely forty eight hours. But when you got to work on Wednesday morning, Bradley texted you a picture of his keyring resting in his palm, and there was your house key, shining in the sunlight. And then you stopped caring that it seemed quick.

When your stomach started growling, you realized it was after lunchtime, and before you could even process what that meant, there was a knock on your office door. And then Frank was in your personal space. 

"I didn't see you before. Did you skip lunch?" he asked, watching your every movement as you stood up behind your desk and straightened out your lace top underneath your blazer. 

"I'm not hungry," you lied. "Is there something I can help you with, Frank?" 

He shrugged and sat on the edge of your desk. "I just miss you. I thought I would go pick up a sandwich or something if you wanted me to. I would be happy to."

Your stomach growled loudly at the mere mention of a sandwich, completely giving you away. But then you heard another blessed knock on your door, and you loudly told whomever it was to come in. 

"Bradley!" you exclaimed when you saw your boyfriend standing there eyeing up Frank as you rushed around your desk to get to him. "What are you doing here?" you asked softly. He wrapped his right arm around your waist while he held a bag and a bouquet of flowers in his left hand. 

"I missed you, Kitten," he replied. "I wanted to keep my streak going. I'm up to four days in a row of seeing you now."

You were about to kiss him when Frank cleared his throat loudly. You turned to look at the confused expression on his face, but Bradley didn't budge at all. Instead Bradley pressed his lips to your neck and teased you while you awkwardly considered Frank. 

"Uh, Frank... this is Bradley," you said on a breathy sigh. 

"Her boyfriend," Bradley added, finally releasing your neck and heading for Frank. "Fred, was it?" he asked as they shook hands, and Frank sputtered for a moment before correcting him. 

"Are you her kid's coach?" Frank asked, eyeing Bradley's solid form warily. 

"Yeah," he replied. "I'm Everett's tee ball coach."

"Huh," Frank grunted before he turned to look at you. "Didn't think you'd be into a jock."

You smiled and said, "He's a Naval aviator, actually. Didn't you notice the uniform?"

Frank skimmed his gaze briefly over Bradley before strolling over to you and saying, "Why don't you let me take you out for lunch? I know you're hungry."

"Frank. No," you said, shaking your head. "No. I don't want to get lunch with you. I've been telling you no for a while."

Bradley laughed from his spot at your desk. "I'm pretty sure she already ditched you for me weeks ago, Fred. Just leave her alone, man."

"I had sex with her on that desk," Frank blurted out loudly, and you could feel the embarrassment wash over your skin. You could barely look at Bradley. He knew you'd been with Frank, but you didn't want him thinking about Frank when he pictured you sitting at your desk. 

"Probably the best two minutes of your life, huh Fred?" he asked casually, closing the distance to you and scooping you up. You squeaked as you braced one hand against his service pins while you wrapped the other around his neck. He just smiled at you as he said, "Now get the fuck out. And close the door behind you."

You saw Frank's back retreating through the door as Bradley deposited you in your desk chair and opened the bag he had brought. You audibly moaned as you saw a sandwich, some pretzels and a bottle of iced tea appear on your desk. 

"I thought you might be hungry," he said as you took a huge bite out of the sandwich and nodded. "And I wanted to bring you these flowers."

You swallowed your food and told him, "Tulips are my favorite!"

"I know," he said, kissing your forehead. "I made Bob text Molly to find out. I'll remember from now on, Kitten. But I need to get back to work."

You popped up and hugged him, took a breath and whispered, "You know what Frank said? About my desk?" 

"Yeah," Bradley replied quietly, rubbing his hand up inside your blazer. 

"That was the time I was thinking about you. I couldn't stop thinking about you."

Bradley's smile was smug, and now you felt less embarrassed. 

"Next time, I'll stop by for a longer visit," he promised.

----------------------------

After practice on Thursday, Bradley settled into a seat at the same pizza place again, but this time Nat was there too. He was a little sweaty and dirty, but so were Bob and Everett, and you didn't hesitate to let Bradley touch you. 

"Hi," you whispered with a smile as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders. Bradley watched you turn away from him to continue your conversation with Nat while Everett played tic-tac-toe on the paper tablecloth with Bob. Molly was writing Everett's name in big bubble letters from him to color in, and the waitress was dropping off a pitcher of beer and some apple juice. 

When your warm palm came to rest on Bradley's thigh just above his knee, he exhaled a deep breath and let himself appreciate how good it felt to have a little family again. Thankfully he'd had Nat around for a long time, but having Bob gave him another person he knew he could trust. And Molly was a spitfire, but now he was starting to appreciate the way your sister always stood up for you and Everett. 

As the enormous pizza was dropped off, Bradley started to cut a slice in half to make it easier for Everett to eat. You watched his every movement as everyone else started to grab slices and pour more drinks. 

"What?" he asked you softly as your eyes followed the plate that he handed to Everett. "You want me to cut your pizza up too, Kitten?" he asked teasingly. 

But you just leaned in and kissed him until Molly had to pretend like she was gagging on her food. 

----------------------------------

Coach just wanted to show them off! And Frank, you loser, she doesn't want you! She upgraded! Thanks to @beyondthesefourwalls and @mak-32!

PART 18

@hotch-meeeeeuppppp

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@xoxabs88xox

[vesppperoro]

Envy!Reader with the I.M.P

Includes: Envy!Reader, Blitzø, Millie, Moxxie, Loona.

You were going through one of your rage fits. Someone from your ring leaked some of your performance secrets to Mammon and he stole your ideas.

You were in your serpentine demon form, thrashing about your ring.

One of your own people betrayed you! Your own ideas, the life you built using those secrets. It pissed you off.

You were about to destroy a building until you saw a giant ad.

“I.M.P, Immediate Murder Professionals.”

You stopped thrashing and stared at it for a good moment. On the ad was 3 imps and a Hell Hound. The 2 lowest creatures in Hell. What could they even do?

That thought didn’t cross your mind. You just wanted the person dead.

You changed back forms and disappeared into thin air.

Suddenly, you appeared in front of the building you assumed to be the I.M.P building.

You stared at it for a moment.

But your feet started moving for you. You shrunk into your Sinner-like form and opened the door.

“Hello? Who is in charge here?” Your voice resonated through the building. The Hell Hound from the ad didn’t bother to look up at you.

“Who do you want dead?” She said, tapping away at her phone.

You gave her all the details on the person, showed a picture, and told her why. By the end, she was staring at you with wide eyes.

“Let me ask Blitzø.” She responded, walking away from her desk to a door next to it. She shut it and you heard some yelling and stumbling.

The door slammed open to reveal an Imp with large, curved back horns.

“Nice to meet ya! Blitzø, the ‘o’ is silent. You want to kill this little bitch, right?” He asked, showing the piece of paper you gave to Loona.

“Precisely. I want her DEAD IMMEDIATELY. I DONT CARE HOW MUCH I NEED TO PAY SHE NEEDS TO BE DEAD.” As you said the last two words, your body turned larger. You formed half way into your serpentine form.

“Hey Blitzø, what’s the- what the HELL?” A southern voice came from behind you. You shifted back and took a deep breath.

“Hey, Mil! Just in time.” He called, not even acknowledging the fact you almost broke their ceiling.

“Meet our new client! Uh… what’s your name again?” “Leviathan. Call me Reader.”

“This is our new client Reader- LEVIATHAN?” A surge of shock ran through the imps and the Hell Hound.

“We’re working with THE Leviathan?!” A smaller male voice said.

“Yes. How much do you want? 10k? 50k?” They were shocked at the amount of money you were offering them. They were just as shocked when you put 80k down.

“Take it. Kill that bitch.” And you bet your ass they were gonna make SURE she was dead.

As they came back, they brought you her head. You were VERY happy.

You even paid them 10k extra for her head.

You put her head on a stake at the front of your performance center.

Anyways. You always came back to them and paid them VERY well.

You even offered to buy them a new place, which they accepted.

You were basically their sugar parent… you gave them anything they asked for.

The I.M.P became your favorite service to use whenever you become irate with someone. They did an awesome job.

You also learned a lot about them.

Blitzø adopted Loona when she was near 17, Millie and Moxxie are dating, Blitzø is shagging Stolas to get access to the human realm, etc.

You enjoy them and they enjoy you because you pay them so well.

[reticent-writer]

heyyy PLEASE I NEEDD Vox x teen! Reader. Where she’s like the Vee’s assistant, or Vox’s assistant or something like that and she sees Vox as a father figure? Tyy

I like this alot

✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･**･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　

the most chaotic job in all of hell, like there is never a peaceful moment in the Vees tower. Someone is always yelling, something is always being broken, and you are in the middle of it. The peacemaker.

Your soul belongs to Vox but you assist all of the Vees. Your like 17/18. You were a hacker before you died, you hacked into the governments software and was killed for it.

You did the same thing to Vox but he didn't get mad instead he offered a secure home/job for your soul. (Seeing that everyone is dead that sounds silly but you shook his hand anyway)

If Vox isn't around to calm down Val and Velvette you're the next best thing. Valentino can talk your ears off as much as he wants and Velvette can use you as a model

In hell you can travel through electronics like Vox

Most of your time is spent with Velvette and Vox, mainly Vox. Vox has you do a lot of work that he trusts no one else with like going to the overlord meetings when no one else wants to

You are genuinely nice, like the other overlords wonder why you're working with the Vees

Your room doesn't have a door, so to get to your room you have to go through electronics to a backroom type of place. It's still in the Vees tower but no one but you or Vox and get to it.

Vox made it like this so if you wanted to be unbothered no one could even knock on your door.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚-Vox-˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

"Y/n are you awake."

You heard Vox from inside your room. You zapped you phone knowing that Vox you feel it. Basically saying you were getting up.

It took you 15 minutes to get ready before you teleported to the monitor room to find Vox watching random sinners on his big screen.

"I'm up, sir."

He dramatically spun his chair to face you.

"I hope it's been a hellish morning so far, what's on today's schedule."

You pulled out your phone and started to read off it, "the day doesn't start until 1 which is when the early talk show starts ot lasts until 3, at 5-7 is a game show, Velvette s show starts at 7, Valentino's live streaming a BDSM thing at 8, late night talk show at 10."

You looked at the time it was 8 am.

"Well since I'm free why don't we work on your mega computer." He offered. He likes how your face lit up and without wasting a second you dragged him to one of the quietest rooms in the building. In it was a desktop with a few wires connected to it.

Your mega computer was a project you started after you sold your soul. You hope it can connect to heaven one day and who is Vox to stop you.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚-Velvette-˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

You were in Fox's monitor room untangling cords.

"Y/N COME HERE." Velvette yelled at you through her phone.

You sighed as you stopped what you were doing and turn went through one of the many TVs.

"Yes, Vel." You smiled, clearly Vox was rubbing off on you.

"Something is missing with this outfit, tell me what it is." She pointed you in the direction of a mannequin with a outfit in your preferred style.

"(￣ヘ￣）ᵁᴹᴹ a (whatever you want)."

She hummed and with a snap of her fingers it appeared.

"Better right?"

"Yes."

"Good it's yours, take it" she snapped again and the outfit was in your hands, "no go put it on, I wanna see it."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me, put it on."

-It looked amazing-

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚-Valentino-˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

"Vox said your not aloud in the studio so the least your could do is read the script." He said as he handed you a think packed.

"Jailbird gets hard time" you read loud in disgust, "do you really think I should be reading this?"

He scoffed, "oh please it's not like I can't see your browser history. A03, wattpad, Quotev, fanfiction.net the list goes on."

You stared at him in disbelief.

"What... Aww is someone embarrassed." He squished your cheeks. Your face was beat red.

"Aw, Chiquita, I don't judge. You should see the more kinky scrips."

"Oh no thanks. I think I hear Vox calling me. Bye." You reached his pocket for his phone and with a poor you were gone.

After that you made it so no one could see any of your activity.

✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･**･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　

A/n: I don't like Valentino. I love his voice tho

[girlreviews]

Review #146: Parallel Lines, Blondie

Man oh man oh man. I love Blondie so much. I found this record in the Windsor Oxfam. I don’t remember exactly how old I was, but I remember what boyfriend was with me so that puts me between 15 and 18. Yeah, same guy. I actually don’t remember if he ended up getting his hands on this record or not. I think I still have it. Will rifle through my collection later to check.

Blondie was in the “being cool” wilderness for some absolutely crazy reason at that point, and nobody really gave a shit about them anymore. When I was 17 or 18 they were playing the Reading Hexagon which is honestly still just such an unbelievable insult I’m still annoyed about it. I’ll circle back to that.

Parallel Lines epitomizes the complete and total coolness and badassery of Debbie Harry. I have never wanted to be someone more than I wanted to be her. So much confidence. Such incredible cheekbones. Such commitment to art. No apologies. The voice of an angel one moment and snarling whimsical warnings, like, hey you, don’t fuck with me, the next. Always standing in front of all of those completely non-descript nobody dudes. Yeah they’re playing the music, but who cares, who are they? It’s all her. She is Blondie.

Can I pick a favorite? It opens with Hanging on the Telephone, in which she is really threatening to rip the phone clean off the wall. It might be that one. But we’ve also got the classic One Way Or Another, which needs no comment, and one of my actual favorites of all time, Heart of Glass which never fails to fuck me up, but like, it’s a god damn disco track? Like sure, yeah, let’s boogie away our heart break. And I did. And I have. And I will. And these are all SINGLES. We aren’t even discussing the actual album tracks yet. Just listen to it. Honorable mention goes to Sunday Girl, which I always really loved. It’s cute and it’s kind of sweet in a very teenage girl kind of way that worked for me since I was in fact, a teenage girl. Also, not on the official album release, but there was a version of that track where the latter half was sung entirely in French and I always really dug it.

Okay so circling back to the Hexagon. This is a weird story and I’m still not sure how I feel about it, to this day. As I said, Blondie were playing a show at the Hexagon. I was absolutely obsessed with them, and Debbie Harry. I was also 17 or 18 and spent every penny I had on going to shows, but those pennies were pretty limited. I worked as a waitress at the pub that was two doors down from my house. It was full of characters. One such character was a regular, he was in his late 40s, was very wealthy, didn’t drive, was single, and spent literally every bit of his spare time in that pub. Think on that. He paid a lot of attention to the various young women that worked there. Was he creepy? No not exactly. But did it make you uncomfortable? Yes it did. Because you never knew when he might make it weird. Everyone liked him well enough. One day out of the blue this guy presented me with five tickets to the Blondie show. I didn’t know what in the hell to say or whether to accept them. Or what it meant. Whether there were expectations attached to them. Whether it was okay to take them. I was uncomfortable. I was 17.

Here’s what happened. My Mom, who sort of knew him too, since he was always there, decided it was fine, because she wanted to go. But for it to be okay, she decided he also had to come. So we went, he came, and a few friends too. The thing is though, she never knew him like I did. I saw him every day. I saw him with the other girls that worked at the pub. I saw him drunk off his ass. I don’t know that I ever would have taken the tickets. Or if I did, I’m not sure I ever would have invited him. I feel a bit queasy about it to this day. I think in the end something really off-base happened one night between him and someone on staff and he got barred. That was usually the way it went with regulars who were there that often.

The other thing to note is that Blondie ended because Debbie Harry was with Chris Stein, who was literally dying of some rare autoimmune disease throughout their last tour. There were other factors at play, but essentially, they broke up because he was too sick and she stayed at his side and became his full-time carer. When he was well, he left her. They are, remarkably, still close friends to this day and still perform together. Just never forget that men are dogs, and that Blondie is and always will be Debbie Harry. I love her. To this day she looks better than I do in a mini skirt and I love that for her.

ETA: I checked and in fact, I do not still have Parallel Lines in my record collection, but I am quite confident it got lost when I moved back to the US. Also, I’m not 100% certain that show was at the Reading Hexagon. I just know it was a shitty venue not worthy of Blondie. This was 18 years ago. You get the idea.