#she takes their last names
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Donna, Logan, Visher, Dale and Molly combining forces to basically parent Aphmau:
#minecraft diaries#aphverse#aphblr#mcd#mcd aphmau#mcd donna#mcd logan#mcd molly#mcd dale#mcd visher#they’re her parents to me#fun fact in my rewrite of mcd Logan and donna adopt Aphmau#she takes their last names#it’s super cute#Aaron also contributed but this post isn’t about him#somnas.writes
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Hi !
I got bottom surgery on July 25th :3
I'm recovering well but I'll be on bedrest for a while. Collie and I will need rent help for September/food/gas/utilities/etc. Two disabled trans women. Anything helps ! Thank yall so much for all you've helped so far, it's saved my life ❤️
https://venmo.com/u/nora-esther-rose
https://www.paypal.me/NoraEstherRose
https://venmo.com/u/Leah-Esther-Rose
https://www.paypal.me/androgynophore
#leah is still her legal name#her mom helps w us having a phone at all and can sometimes help but never a full months rent help so thats def the most pressing matter#but we already paid august rent and we have a month so we'll probably be fine#actually still havent paid utilities :/#i was wondering if more donations would happen since the surgery date and apparently not#got three the day of and two the day before but we're at 70 rn after all the gas of dropping me off and visiting twice or smth.#idk. stupid van. she should be taking public transit but i get why she doesnt want to. barely anyone masks on public transit here anymore :/#edit update: collies mom helped us pay utilities for last month which was mostly the electricity bill. water bill comes every 3 months#so i guess we'll see how much that is.
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Eepy hours
#Good night I need to sleep so bad now#in which Chloe still has to work on a paper and Red was bothering her#and yes those are Reds silky nice sleep pants that chloe stole#hence why red is sitting in her lap bc something something something my pants my seat#red is so tired and Chloe is so comfortable... she just fell asleep#eepiest girl in the world#chloe charming#red hearts#I ALMOST WROTE RED CHARMING LOL THEY'RE NOT MARRIED YET AND I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT LAST NAMES RN#rise of red#descendants rise of red fanart#descendants rise of red#glassheart#redcharming#these are unrelated to my last post lol#sable arts#if u notice red's chipped blue nail polish#her and chloe had a nail painting session together and red chose the closest to chloe-color-blue that they had on hand#chloe did it for her so she has refused to take it off and its just been slowly worn away by life activities
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When Mike Wheeler, red faced and still faintly tear stained, asks him how he knew he liked both Steve doesn’t know how to tell him it was his sister.
Before Nancy Wheeler it had only been boys. Before Nancy Wheeler Steve had been sure he was gay and knew well enough to keep it to himself; dating around enough to earn himself a protective reputation. Before Nancy Wheeler there’d been Marcus Summers, from the baseball team, during freshman year. Steve had gone to every game, and had been forced to make up excuses about schoolwork and his other commitments when asked why he hadn’t tried out for himself. Before Nancy Wheeler there’d been Tommy Hagan. The summer between seventh and eighth grade had been very kind to Tommy, he was sunkissed and boy next door sweet, Steve had wanted to hold his hand and count the freckles across the bridge of his nose.
Before Nancy Wheeler there’d been his first love, a boy who only visited one summer, the year Steve turned ten. His name had changed every time they hung out but he’d favored E’s. Eli, Emmett, Elliott, Eric, Excalibur, Excelsior, and once for about an hour Wayne. His hair brushed his chin in pretty brown curls and his big brown eyes were always bright with excitement. He always got storm off mad when any of the other boys they’d played with that summer said he was acting like a girl, E would run off to the woods and Steve would always follow. E always came up with the best games anyway, he didn’t like playing soccer or HORSE or anything else with rules that couldn’t be bent; he preferred imagination games where they were knights or wizards. He didn’t laugh when Steve said he always liked playing house, but never wanted to be the dad because why would he want to be someone who never wanted to spend any time with his kids. E who, while insisting on being called Samwise all day, was his first kiss.
Cause he knows what Mike wants to hear. He’s seen the way Mike and Will have danced around each other since the last portal closed. He’s heard the things Mike has said to and about Will. He’s heard all about the week that Will was in the Upside Down. He’s heard all about the summer of ‘85. He’s heard all about the final off again that seems to officially mark the end of Mike and El romantically. He knows that Mike wants him to say that he’d never even thought about boys before he met Eddie. That there’s just something special about Eddie that makes him want to give up his lady killing ways. That Eddie was different. That it was okay that he was having these scary new thoughts, maybe Will was just an exception.
And Steve doesn’t know how to have that conversation. When he realized he liked both it was a relief, that maybe he could have something normal and wouldn't have to spend his life lying or hiding.
But Eddie was different. Eddie was special. Eddie was probably it for Steve which is scary in a different way that he’s not ready to touch yet -- not when it’s only been three months.
There’s never been another girl since Nancy Wheeler, not really
There will never be another boy after Eddie Munson.
So he tries to help, as best he can. It’s easier with Eddie there, not quite dozing against his shoulder -- the kid’s emergencies always seem to come so late at night these days. “When I was ten, there was a boy whose name kept changing who decided prince charming should get to kiss his faithful knight. And when I was sixteen, your sister-”
Mike’s goodwill diminishes quickly as his sister gets introduced to the conversation.
“Stevie,” Eddie says. It’s not an admonishment for bringing up Nancy. It’s awestruck and watery. “You remember that?”
“Of course I remember the first boy I ever loved," that word catches up with him a second later. Remember.
Cause there's Eddie with his riot of brown curls and his Bambi eyes. Eddie, who has explained why soft feminine words chafe against his skin leaving him itchy and anxious. Eddie, who has an Uncle in Hawkins. Eddie who moved to town the summer before he entered high school with a buzzed head and his mother's last name. Eddie who finally settled into an E he liked best.
"Wheeler, here's a tip from me to you," Eddie says, his advice is always better received than Steve's anyway, "if you have to ask you probably already know."
"Straight people don't really spend much time wondering if they aren't really straight," Steve agrees.
They don't rush Mike out the door, a crisis is a crisis and even in the wake of new discoveries Mike deserves to be heard out. Deserves a chance to cry and rage and feel those emotions someplace safe from his Reaganite father -- just as much as Will deserves to have someone who knows what they want come to him, deserves better than experimentation.
They cross the bridge from late into early by the time Mike sets off. The sun is creeping up over the horizon and Mike looks solid, certain; the dawn hints at the man he is growing up to be. Though every instinct of Steve's begs him to drive the kid home, Eddie's soft hand lingering at his hip holds him fast. They wave instead, encouraging Mike to go home and to bed before he does anything; knowing his front bike tire is already pointed toward the Byers-Hopper place.
"The first boy you ever loved, huh, Stevie?" Eddie teases before the door has even managed to click shut.
"And the last, I'm hoping, if I play my cards right."
"You were always pretty good at that. You were the only person that summer who called me by my name, except Wayne."
"It was your name." He knows that's too simple. Knows how hard Eddie has had it, continues to have it. But that summer it had been that simple, Eddie trying on names like shirts each one fitting until they didn't. "For what it's worth, I like Eddie a lot more than Excalibur."
"Oh fuck off, I was going through a fantasy knight phase. Which I know you remember."
"Right a phase, and how much longer is this fantasy 'phase' going to last?"
They're the kind of tired that makes you feel drunk, when Eddie tackles Steve and sends them both to the floor and to giggles. Eddie might not have been his bi awakening, but Steve is pretty fine with him being his everything else.
#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#trans eddie munson#implied byler#steddie fic#my fic#i do worry that sometimes i come across as a nancy hater#which i cant emphasize enough is not the case#nancy is a complicated character and i love her and she and steve are not good for each other#also eddie trying on wayne because wayne was the first adult he told that he wasnt a girl and who handled it well#wayne at the breakfast table like okay then what is your name if its not [redacted] and eddie does not have an answer yet#so wayne says well just tell me when you get up what youre going by#so he decides while playing that day that its wayne#and that lasts exactly as long as it takes for steve to call him that before hes like nope thats weird#eddie is short for edmund but also short for eddie the head#eddie contains multitudes
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hello gay people in my phone i have a very important question for u
#this is mainly bc i saw a post the other day talking abt a Mr Du Lac and i was like ah yes lancelot my insane guy and then it was abt louis#and i went like hold on. why was ldpdl not my first thought?#iwtv#arthuriana#lancelot du lac#lancelot#interview with the vampire#the titular vampire#cavetext#i decided against adding mama du lac or paul or grace as an option bc louis takes precedence i think#and i decided against adding claudia as an option bc to me she has no last name like max nolastname of black sails fame
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Prompt 136
Contrary to popular belief, Jaskier was the one who said no to riding a horse. Jaskier willingly walks alongside Geralt and Roach. Because Jaskier is afraid of riding horses. Don't get him wrong! He loves horses! Just not being on them as they run 48 kilometers per hour. When Jaskier sprains his ankle walking, however, Geralt decides enough is enough and it's time to teach him how to ride and help him face his fear. Jaskier sits in front of Geralt on top of Roach as Geralt teaches him how to ride, and every time Jaskier gets too nervous, Geralt will hear his heartbeat tick up, and he'll hug him, or praise him, and Jaskier will calm again. Jaskier's been getting better. To the point that Geralt can now just walk alongside Roach and Jaskier, hand resting on Jaskier's leg or back. Geralt decides to surprise Jaskier with his own horse! Geralt finds something sturdy and gentle, but also pretty, knowing his bard will love to comb and braid the horse, and will want to show it off. It's a white horse, which certainly won't stay white on the road, but then again, Jaskier will most likely delight in cleaning the horse and admiring it's sheen when it's washed. Geralt presents Jaskier with his horse, and Jaskier is overjoyed. Sobbing with happiness, hugging and kissing the horse, and Geralt has never been more in love with his bard. The first time Jaskier rides his own horse, they go at a very gentle slow pace, as the horse seems unsure about being ridden. Jaskier cajoles and consoles it through it all, and soon enough they're riding at steady paces, both Jaskier and his horse now feeling safe and brave enough to go at a normal pace, sometimes even a bit faster. Geralt is happy. Until one day, big white wings materialize on the sides of Jaskier's horse, and the damn thing takes off with Jaskier still on it. Shit.
#geraskier#geralt x jaskier#the witcher#geralt x dandelion#geralt loves his bard!#witcher fanfiction#fanfiction prompts#writing prompts#requited unrequited love#friends to lovers#for the sake of gayness were pretending two people on one horse doesnt harm the horse#roach is extra stronk and shes magical and she lives forever#we're also pretending that exnoble jaskier wouldnt be forced to learn horse things#yes this is me making up a whole story based just on dandelion tending to name his horse pegasus#okay?#okay#no need for things to make sense logically#in the last prompt geralts a fuggin tree#horsegirl geralt of rivia#Geralt loves horses#Roach#roach is best girl#roach has the braincell#headcanon roach FOR SURE knows the horse Geralt bought is a pegasus#“When he feels safe and happy enough he WILL take off geralt”#“Geralt are you even listening to me”#“Geralt itll take the colorful one into the sky”#“will colorful one like that”#“Geralt please listen to me”#Jaskier loves his horse
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lose my mind every time the doctor takes rose's last name in fics. brilliant, amazing, splendid, absolutely perfect.
like, what do you MEAN she'd be the one to change her last name? he doesn't even HAVE a bloody name like us! plus, she's rose tyler. you think he's going to want that to be different? it's the doctor and rose tyler in the tardis (or I suppose whatever they do in pete's world, but that's still the doctor and rose tyler having their new adventure)!!
she's rose tyler and he is whatever-he-wants tyler. end of discussion. the whole pond diabolical should've been clue enough imo
#sorry but I cannot stand it#and I keep being forced to anyways#she is ROSE TYLER#like how amy is amy pond. and not amy williams. because she's amy pond.#well rose is rose is rose and I HATE rose smith/noble sorry I've said my truth#like... rose SMITH? what? that doesn't. that's not. no. that doesn't sound right. that doesn't... fit.#I just cannot imagine in any universe or au where the doctor would want her to change her name. I literally cannot.#he wouldn't want to change a damn thing about her and her name is just so. it's her. it's beautiful. I've ran out of good words. fantastic!#he should take her last name just sayin#very passionately saying ahahahaha#this feels aggressive and like I'm getting onto people for writing these. I'm not. I just also have a very strong opinion about this lol#I just don't think you understand what it does to me when I see the doctor take her last name. I simply don't think you do#john tyler. james tyler. whatever tyler. hngk#timepetals#tenrose#tentoorose#tenth doctor#tentoo#rose tyler#doctor who
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ouppys and kibbys
#finally got around to designing lucky and auggies ma and pa ^_^#parhelion means sun dog and is a light refraction phenomenon. eudora is the name of an ocean nereid hence the rain motif#it was hard balancing some of the parents traits so they show up somewhat evenly but- auggie inherited the flecks in eudoras hair#instead of raindrops she has stars. also takes after her with brown hair and cat ears#although its only brown until she swallows the star which changes her hair to pink and white. vincent also inherits that#but she got her dads blue eyes and lighter skin tone!!#lucky has a darker shade of parhelions hair + dog ears and tail but inherited eudoras brown eyes and darker skin#the green part is supposed to resemble a four leaf clover to mirror auggies star shaped bangs but he kinda looks like a carrot lol#very very happy with how these turned out!!!#i havent put this anywhere bc its not solid but if i had to give them a last name it would probably be byrd. the byrd family#my art#myart#my oc#oc#augusta#lucky#parhelion#eudora#eye contact#staring
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Here are my garden residents that are named after Queen's Thief characters! The tall one is Irene, followed by Sophos in the middle, and lastly Eugenides II on the right.
I love them very much <3
#winasignedsetofthequeensthief2024#queen's thief#my garden#Eugenides I didn't survive our last move. but im very stubborn about having a matched set so thats why i have a Gen II.#i also had an Eddis but in order to save her from mold i had to propigate small pieces. so she has clones but the original is gone :(#maybe one day I'll find a cactus that can take up the name of Eddis Helen anew...
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as if it was never there at all.
#undertale#deltarune#utdr#gaster#ok little bit of rambling bc ive been catching up on a LOT of deltarune stuff#something something guy(s) who cant be perceived without also ceasing to exist#i had the thought yesterday that. gaster is sort of the anti-chara in a way. if you say his name he ‘disappears’#the game crashes or resets etc. literally the opposite of invoking chara lol#plus how chara is so associated with deletion of worlds. and here gaster is wanting to create new ones#creating new worlds. creating a vessel for the player. creating connections#and its so much more sad when you think about how deltarune is like. fundamentally his attempt to connect with the player#he can maintain a connection with us. but we can’t see him. or show him his own name. or acknowledge his identity in any way#or else that connection will be severed. or he’ll disappear. or he’ll cease to have ever existed#mystery man goes away the moment you interact. egg man was never there but he gave you an Egg#etc etc#the white egg noelle was given in her game makes me think about this too because#that egg remained there the whole time she was afraid of it. it couldnt be thrown away. it wouldnt hatch. it was just There#and then when she comes back later and decides to take care of it like any of her other pets. THEN it disappears#’_____ left home due to happiness.’#how do you form real lasting connections when the connection itself makes you disappear
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Welcome home Laurel
#rat#cute#ratblr#petblr#new pet#Laurel#(probably. I think that's going to be her name anyway)#the shelter I got the other 3 from last year emailed to ask if I could take a girl who's about to lose her friend#she seems pretty chill and not overly spooked. she's actually already voluntarily come out of the cage as well#hoping to start introductions in a few days#she's about the same age as the existing group. hoping intros will be straightforward based on everyone's reaction so far
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congrats to @chrysanthemumgames on foa's launch !! i first played the game ( and doodled these ) when i was having a really hard time irl, and this sweet story was exactly what i needed 💗 i hope everyone that plays it for the first time now enjoys it as much as i did then !!
#fields of asphodel#my art#oc: euridi#her name Is persephone in game but only because eurydice was there too LKFJDLKJGD i had a spiderman point moment on my first run#+ the last one is her on olympus vs. her in the underworld !! back when she was up there ☝ the only one that could make her smile was herme#she mostly spends time with hades + charon + hekate + cerberus in the underworld but he's still very very dear to her#+ in case it wasn't. Obvious her ro is hades y_y i played all the routes but kept coming back to him... HOOKED. i wanna draw the pom scene.#ALSO also originally i was like 'the antlers r part of a headpiece/crown/whatever' but after playing hades2 and seeing moros take off his#own headpiece and thinking WDYMMMMMM THOSE ARENT HIS HORNS-- i think she will actually have natural antlers LOLL so these doodles aren't#accurate no more!!!!! Ok !!!!#AND lastly im posting these mostly for najam beloved hii. i don't think i would have picked up a new IF if you hand't been as passionate as#you are about foa so thank u for that MWAH !!#persephone#hades#charon#hermes#x: persephone and hades
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btw i love revenge stories i dont think anyone should ever move on peacefully. a bit obsessed with the way weissman went to the synagogue and rabbi and asks, "my choices killed a child. would god take mercy on someone like me?" and the rabbi says "it's not god's mercy you should look for. its the child's" and like you think that would spur this man into charitable activities and to maybe look out for orphans but instead he goes on a 24 hour revenge bender that ultimately ends in two revenge killings and his own death. what's better than righteous anger and wrath and love twisting someone into the worst but also a truer version of themselves <3
#like im not even reaching here. (sort of am. whatever)#rabbi goldstein essentially goes 'think of esther. you need to be a man she would take mercy on. be someone she can forgive'#and it takes all of 10 minutes for karl weissman to decide yeah ok what i need is double homicide#do i think esther would have wanted revenge in her name. dunno. maybe.#she is 11 and very much the victim of this story. maybe she would have wanted karl to just live. kids are cruel and kind in that way#but to be fair this is esther 'fuck with me and you'll hang like a dog' jankovsky#so im willing to believe she was rooting for him#also the immediate choice to make elias suffer by shooting his leg (? maybe arm) before actually killing him#i dont know. the deliberate cruelty right after he visits the synagogue. an act of defiance. giving himself up after its done. it gets me#i love . I LOVE REVENGE :) GREATEST PLOT POINT EVER!!!!!!!!#sorry everyone about the bodies thoughts. i have no idea how long this is going to last#bodies netflix#karl weissman
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AO3 is down and so is my Wi-Fi so I’m writing Nimona headcanons to cope
When Nimona is in a bad mood she usually wants attention and affection so she’ll shift into her cat form and sit on Bal and Ambrosius
She knows they would never move her even when she’s in her human form but she feels like being a cat is just a bonus
The first time she sat on Ambrosius' shoulders when she was in a bad mood he cried for like three hours
When Bal has a bad day he goes nonverbal and collapses on the nearest comfy area
He doesn’t care if it’s his bed the couch or a pillow on the floor he’s laying their face first and not moving until he feels better
It’s not uncommon for him to come home and just plop down on the couch even when Nimona and Ambrosius are sitting there
And they won't move him either they kind of just accept their fate and continue what they were doing to the best of their abilities
When Ambrosius has a bad day he cleans
Like obsessively
He won’t stop until every surface in the house is spotless and there isn’t a single dust particle in sight
The only room that he stays out of is Nimona’s (half out of respect for them half out of fear of what he would find in that room)
Most of the time when he feels like the house is up to code he’ll be too tired to move let alone think
And that’s when Bal and Nimona set up their super secret evil plan
Bal forces him to get comfy on the couch while Nimona plays his favorite movies and gives him his favorite snacks
It’s truly diabolical but it’s also what Amrbosius does for them when they’re in a bad mood so they feel no guilt
Sometimes when he’s feeling especially shitty Nimona will shift into a dog and let him cuddle them like a big stuffed animal
So I was just reminded sometimes cats will sit on your injuries and purr because they think it makes you feel better (and as a cat owner I can confirm it does)
When I remembered this I was thinking that Nimona would subconsciously shift into a cat and lay on Bal’s arm or Ambrosius' shoulder when they’re in pain and just purr
And they swear that it helps every single time (kind of like a mom kissing her kid's injuries)
Ambrosius will always use people's full names when he’s pissed at them
I don’t know when this idea popped into my head but I’m just imagining Bal and Nimona chilling outside until they hear “Ballister and Nimona Boldheart get your asses inside now!” from their house
And their neighbors watch as some of the most powerful people in the realm scramble to run inside
Most people would assume that Nimona would either stay where they are out of spite or fly away
But they’re so caught off guard because Ambrosius always calls Nimona “Nim”
Plus he’s made Ambrosius mad enough times to know that if he apologizes enough times and makes Bal give him the patented “Puppy Dog Eyes™” he’ll fold like a lawn chair
Nimona calls Ambrosius “nemesis” for two reasons
The first one is he thinks his name is stupidly long (and Ambrosius agrees) and the second reason is he thinks it sounds cooler (he agrees again)
Plus it’s also hilarious to imagine Nimona yelling “Nemesis” while running full speed at Ambrosius and then tackling him
Sometimes they knock him on his ass and sometimes he picks them up and puts them in air jail
#nimona 2023#nimona movie#nimona headcanon#nimona#ballister boldheart#ambrosius goldenloin#ballister x ambrosius#goldenheart#before anyone mentions that Nimona's pronouns keep changing believe me I know#it's intentional#I'm so bored#I just want to read fanfiction about my dorky children#is that too much to ask#I'm fully convinced that Bal and Ambrosius would adopt Nimona#and she would take Bal's last name cause obvi#Ambrosius isn't far behind
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𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐍 𝐀𝐆𝐄: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐕𝐄𝐈𝐋𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃 ➸ irulanne . the rook .
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#oc: irulanne#leg.ocs#leg.edits#*myedits#*ocedit#dragon age rook#da:tv#datv#my necromancer !!!!!!! my baby she’s here!!#teehee the first of the rooks !! so far i have 4 on standby for the fall the brainworms are brainwormingg jnhdkhnsk#spot the lucanne reference hehee twas a must to add something of luca in there he and lanna have had me in a CHOKEHOLD all a week hehe <3#colorings by cavalier remainn ICONIC andd SPEAKING OF WHICH THIS TEMPLATE GOLLY HOLLY#ty tyy orion this template was SOO good *screams* i had SO much fun working with it!!!!!#alsoo the official tarot for necromancers / mages / sidony from inky youll always be loved by MEE.#i am not sure if i want to go too much into her lore yet as its so early but the brainrot is brainrotting and i have SOO many thoughts!!#her history her lore how i see her interacting with the world and the world with her lanna's personality and her dynamic with luca AHHHH#*rattling the bars of my cage* FALL COME SOONER !!#lanna has had the braincell for the week STRAIGHT hdbjh <33#the high stakes tennis match between dragon show and dragon game brainrot hehe <33#ill hopefully have something for them too soooon I MISSED THEMM SO MUCHH#her lighthouse outfit + luca's outfit hehe couples that wear *almost* matching outfits thats soulmates or something (im normal) HEHEE#her name (hopefully the last time i change it djksncks) is inspired by i*rulan from d*une !!#an arcane prodigy entering her girlfailure era <33 girlbossed too close to the sun if u will JNDKJDSN#seemingly puts on an air of confidence but hides BIIIG time nervous wreck energy shes gonna take messing things up well i can feel it :')#i feel like a lot of clothes for her are sort of reminiscent of her time in the mourn watchers? all based on aspects of the dead??#like bones or etc?? but i also love that she could be a lightning learning mage with other magic so she takes to that more ethereal nature#to her style !! she’s also a BIG fan of the opera and was sort of praised as this golden child an arcane prodigy#the gifted kid to burnout adult pipeline she is really feeling it now 🥀🤧#hi hi moots if u read all that i am baking you cookies as we speak THERES SO MUCH MORE LOREE on her i have im screaming she’s everythingg#AHH IT WORKED IT POSTED <33 so so happy i can yell about her now HEHE 🥀💌
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Coffee addict Never sleeps Tim drake ❌
Solving cases in his sleep off 87 energy drinks Tim Drake ✅
The coffee addict never sleeps perpetually tired Tim Drake thing is a widely accepted headcanon however that was elementary school tim but after he stayed up for a week straight subsisting entirely on coffee to decipher the bat weekly patrol schedule and how it aligns with rogue attacks/Arkham breakouts, he crashed then when he woke up it was fucking wednesday so he missed his chance to commemorate his discovery with pictures of Robin and he decided that shit would never happen again and made himself an ‘efficient’ sleep schedule so he could run around doing fuck shit, add to his robin shrine, and stay on honor roll bc he was even more pissed to see the gotham gazette had pictures of Robin with an on site interview credited to Vicki Vale (listen bowl cut tim had a one sided beef with vicki vale that included tim judging who gets better pics of the bats but she isn’t even aware that she’s competing with a whole ass child 😭 he’s sitting at the table with a mug of orange juice and looks at the newspaper snorts and goes ‘fucking amateur I could do better’)
Regularly unsupervised tiny businessman in training Tim ‘Ten hours of uninterrupted sleep?? That’s so inefficient not to mention fucking stupid’ Drake is so pissed he missed getting shots of Robin dropkicking a rogue from 6 six stories up (for absolutely no reason dick just thinks it’s fun) that he just takes at least 3 hour naps every eight hours 😭 he refuses to spend almost half a day sleeping ‘for no reason when he could be doing something productive’
And he still does this as a bat but it’s just easier to tell if he didn’t take his nap bc he has less than zero impulse control and he’s just fucking done with everything like the gcpd is terrified bc tim’s saying shit like ‘This guys a fucking moron, I could’ve done this in half the time without killing anyone fucking loser doesn’t he know if you keep them alive you can prolong the torture?’ and ‘you’re like all hysterical and for what 🤨 ‘you blew up 83% of Bristol waah’ stfu and fucking rebuild it?? It’s only rich mfs that live there, it’s just a matter of them opening their fucking wallets’ once a new recruit made the mistake of asking if robin had adult supervision regularly and Tim responded with ‘well if you’re gonna snitch to cps like a little bitch then yeah’ and that cop did snitch so tim fucking doxxed him
Yj has just accepted that sometimes they will find tim in an air vent, on the roof, in one of their closets, or something just fucking knocked out then an alarm will go off and he’ll just get up like nothing happened but for the first couple of months they were probably concerned bc ‘I’ve never seen you sleep?? wtf are you on man’ and Tim’s confused bc ‘I slept next to you this morning wdym??’ and that’s how yj discovers tim sleeps with his eyes open
But one of the worst things about Tim’s ‘time efficient sleep schedule’ nonsense is that it fucking works he’s one of the most well rested and coherent bats even after back to back Arkham breakouts however the absolute worst thing about his sleep schedule is the likelihood of going into the cave and seeing tim staring in a daze but wide eyed yet somehow never blinking at the batcomputer with 57 tabs open on top of being unresponsive and thinking he has a fucking concussion or he’s been replaced but he’s just doing case work while muttering nonsense in his fucking sleep for some reason
#Tim drake being unhinged even in his sleep and taking sleepwalking to the next level by doing reports/solving cases in his sleep#A bat hearing incoherent mumbling but no one’s nearby: 😐 he’s in the walls 😨 he’s in the goddamn walls#No one knows how or why he’s in that particular spot in the wall bc there’s isn’t a secret entrance/crawl space there#Tim also has a wall of energy drinks Bruce regularly tries to lecture him aboot#And Tim’s like ‘your eldest son has snorted sugar MULTIPLE times’#then he gestures at Jason ‘and that one looks like if he didn’t have drug related childhood trauma he’d try to snort protein powder’#bruce: tim we have to talk about your behavior#Tim: like three of your kids have basked in the blood of their enemies 🤨 I am NOT your biggest issue rn#Dick Grayson being the main reason there’s an ‘acceptable levels of force’ slide with 600+ slides & most are examples of what not to do#Stephanie 🤝🏾 Damian: being reason Bruce is adding more slides to a PowerPoint from 2 decades ago#Tim drakes idea of straight forward is how everyone else imagines jumping through hoops and fucking struggling to avoid pissing off the fae#Like wdym simple?? This plan has 97 parts and he’s like no that’s just the first page of plan 1 if it’s sunny#Rogues: I can’t catch him off guard wtf do none of these mfs sleep??#Tim ‘never let em know your next move’ Drake who’s been sleep for the past 45 minutes: 🔵➖🔵#Yj has cuddle piles in the air vents#Everyone with enhanced senses is losing bc ‘there are children in the walls’#Coffee addict babs calls tim weak when he tells her he cut coffee bc it was fucking with him before continuing to chug hot coffee#Oracle: this is the worst Tuesday ever 😔 I need more coffee before I deal with an Arkham breakout#Nightwing: but it’s sunday??#Spoiler: Maybe it’s time we switch to decaf love also just out of curiosity when was the last time you slept??#Oracle: you want the fucking location or not?#Dick: I take it back mb#Spoiler: a thousand apologies to our gracious overlord#Oracle: that’s what I thought#Bruce: you’re benched oracle#Oracle: take that bench and shove it up your ass batman#Steph 100% calls everyone mushy pet names and has since Bruce lectured her about professionalism when she was dating tim#Imagine getting your ass kicked by a sleepingwalking middle schooler#Or worse: imagine having to explain to your insurance company that a sleepwalking child blew up your home#tim drake is a menace
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