#she takes a very survivalist approach to it i think

[iridescentis]

so while I've been listening to each of the crane wives albums I've connected a lot of them to laura and specifically the way she viewed her experience and the people around her throughout the story and it gave me an idea for an AU of sorts?

basically where laura is staying with max in a house owned by her uncle who is renting it to her, and the town is kind of similar to the one in life is strange 2 where the grandparents live, because living in this rural, woodland environment is an attempt to help them overcome the trauma they have endured

and so laura works at a community bar type of place and (since siobhan is a musician i thought it would be fun) laura plays guitar and sings at this bar semi-frequently, and she plays this setlist of songs by the crane wives as a way of coping

also, as a sort of reunion, she and max somehow invite everyone to this town on the anniversary to check in with each other, and they are invited to watch her perform on a full moon

i also have a bunch of other little headcanons, such as i think she would've received the curse of being followed by eliza, and meds didn't help that, so she is relatively spiritual?? kind of, like using methods to ward off evil spirits and such. also that former werewolves get achy on full moons, just muscle pain, so she still tracks it, and maybe even has a lunar cycle tattoo on her back

[mochifiction]

I honestly don’t care if this is a hot take or not. If you are willing to excuse everything that Coriolanus Snow did because he’s HOT now, you are the same type of people who would be susceptible to propaganda or the people who would be complacent in the face of the oppressor. One of the biggest assets to Snow both in the book for Ballad and for the film was his looks. He was attractive to people, and he knew this would play into his advantage in winning people over. Mix attractiveness and charisma and people are willing to listen. It’s a cheap trick, and when reading you could even find yourself laughing at those who fall for his very obvious malicious intents. However, the movie did not give the viewer Snow’s monologues. They did not have the same voices in the film. They just had to rely on Snow’s body language through his actions and his dialogue. In a sense, that only makes Snow’s manipulation much more potent in its execution. You shouldn’t NEED a book to tell you that Snow was being manipulative the entire time. You shouldn’t need the oppressor in your head telling you what they’re thinking to recognize that their plans are nowhere near GOOD. People who are willing to excuse Snow for his actions because of his smile or for his Slim Shady buzz cut need to reevaluate themselves. This is the same Coriolanus Snow that killed over 1,500 kids in the Hunger Games alone, not including the people killed in the shadows or during the active resistance itself. This is the same Coriolanus Snow who is responsible for SELLING CHILDREN into PROSTITUTION to others in the Capitol. He is the reason for the creation of the avoxes, for making being able to live a fraction of a stable life a prize to be won, and more. Snow is EVIL and he always has been. He mentioned Tigris selling herself for their sustainability and calling her ugly in response. He shows disdain towards his own grandmother. He uses Sejanus to his advantage and kills him when it benefits him. Lucy Gray angers him because she is the one person that he cannot control. His love for power is the thing he ogles at the most, and when someone poses a threat to that power, he’s enraged. Everything that Coriolanus Snow does is for his own gain and his own approach to or reaffirmation of his power. Every choice he made in Ballad was for his own self interests. I saw someone on TikTok say that it was “survivalist instinct.” Yes, he had survival in mind with some of his actions, but his overall goals in the novel were centered around his rise to power and what can possibly bring him there. Snow has always been centered around himself. The fact that you are able to watch that movie and still walk away kicking your feet and twirling your hair over CORIOLANUS SNOW shows me how fickle you would actually be in places of resistance. You bought into his manipulation and are giggling about it when you should be concerned. Some people are willing to JUSTIFY what he’s done. I have NEVER seen so many people go around in circles trying to justify the actions of PRESIDENT SNOW since this movie came out and it genuinely scares me. Simping over TOM BLYTH is one thing and THIS POST IS NOT FOR THOSE PEOPLE. But the people who BOUGHT into Snow’s manipulation, you’re fucking dumb as rocks. Remember Finnick? Everyone in this fanbase was all over Finnick and how attractive he was in the movies and how badly they wanted him. When the fandom finds another pretty boy, they gravitate towards him knowing he’s the one that murdered their first. One of the biggest tragedies about Snow’s character is that you see who he could have been, and then you see who he CHOSE TO BECOME. People forget the latter part. He chose to become who he did, and you’re trying to tell me everything he did was for survival? The public clearly has beauty trump critical thought, and you SHOULD be scared.

[chaotic-mystery]

Not A Survivalist Girl: Part 3

“Mr. Fucking Piece of Work Miller”

Written by @chaotic-mystery & @tightjeansjavi

(Joel Miller x f!reader)

Summary: Joel Miller lives a life alone. It's the way he likes it. After losing his daughter 13 years ago, and his brother Tommy ditching him for the fireflies out west, he doesn't have much sympathy, nor care for what remains of civilization. That is..until he meets you in the woods one cold night. How stupid could you really be to light a fire, and put yourself in imminent danger.

Warnings: implied age gap, canon typical violence (eventually) slow burn, mean! Joel, dark! Joel, is literally just a grumpy old asshole!Joel, sunshine reader, no survival skills but she's doing her best, Joel is a loner, mentions of depression, PTSD, trauma, childloss, angst, grumpy vibes, some degradation, nicknames, teasing, eventual smut, (+18) minors dni!

WC: 3.1k

At dawn's impending approach, Joel was still wide awake. He didn’t sleep much these days anyway. His eyes were dry, and crusty and his back ached from sitting on a log all fucking night. The pain reminded him that he was still alive, that he was still breathing. There was frost coating the dry grass in little ice crystals and the fire from the night before had completely died out. Not even the morsels of hot embers remained. Joel was freezing but he would be damned if he’d wrap himself up in your stupid fluffy pink blanket. That was until his teeth started to chatter, and he could see his cold puffs of air. With a grumble of pure annoyance, he wrapped his broad frame in the fluffy blanket. He wasn’t happy about it but what choice did he really have?

As you climbed out of your tent and slowly made your way to Joel, your eyes fell on your pink blanket that was draped around his broad shoulders. “Good morning, I uh- I see you found my blanket.” You cleared your throat and crossed your arms over your chest for warmth. The morning sun was barely peeking over the horizon, the air nipping at your cheeks. Joel immediately took the blanket off of him like it had something wrong with it and practically shoved it in your arms as he stood up in front of you.

Joel responded with a grunt as he slowly stood up from the log, bringing his hand to his lower back as he tried to stretch it out. Goddamn log. Goddamn stupid fucking fluffy pink blanket. Goddamn stupid cans hanging from a fucking tree. Goddamn birds chirping. Goddamn. Goddamn. Goddamn. You looked cute in the morning. That was for goddamn sure.

“So are you really not going to let me come with you? I can be so helpful to you and you don’t even want to consider that?” You were trying to make him a great offer, but he instantly called your bluff.

Joel scoffed under his breath as he straightened out his back before reaching down and grabbing ahold of his rifle that was resting along the log. “Now why the hell would I let you come with me, girlie? You don’t got shit to fuckin’ offer me. Except for another body to look out for and a mouth to feed. Do I really come across as the charitable type? Cause I sure as hell ain’t.”

Your eyes looked up as you were taking in his answer like you could see it working through your brain. “That's…very true, but think of it this way: you can show me how to shoot guns, use knives better, I can look out when we go hunting so you can actually get some sleep and not be a grouchy ass man! It’s perfect and we both win!” The singsong tone you had going on was getting on his last nerve and you loved it.

Joel chucked under his breath as he cocked his rifle, slinging it over his shoulder. “You? Look out for me? That’s cute darlin’. Absolutely fuckin’ adorable actually that you think I have any use for you. The hell am I supposed to do with your ditzy self and that fuckin’ pink blanket, Hm? Enlighten me girlie.”

As your mind raced for a useful response, you started to panic as he was losing patience quickly. “I just don’t want to be left by myself anymore and I know for a fact I can be helpful to you if you teach me, please..I don’t know where to go from here. It’s a miracle I’ve lasted this long but I’ll do anything, I’ll listen to everything you say.” Your twiddling thumbs came to a stop with your sentence as you met his eyes, showing him how serious you were being.

Joel pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath as he squeezed his eyes shut momentarily and muttered something unintelligible through gritted teeth. The truth was, Joel had spent all fucking night going over the pros and the cons of taking you with him. Unbeknownst to you, he just wanted to see how far you would go to insure your own safety. Leaving you out here to fend for yourself was certainly a death warrant. You were the first living person he had come across in months and perhaps the company wouldn’t be entirely awful. He also just couldn’t stand to face the flashing images in his head of you being torn apart by clickers, or worse.

The silence started to put fear in your heart, not really sure if he’d change his mind and let you tag along with him to wherever the hell he was going. The truth was just that: you needed him. Somehow his scary presence he tried so hard to put forward wasn’t scary to you, it actually made you want to know more about him. You tucked some of your hair behind your ear and crossed your arms slowly as you waited for his response, preparing yourself to hear him tell you no.

“You’ll listen to everything I say? No questions asked? You’re damn right it’s a miracle that you have lasted this fuckin’ long out here girlie. You clearly got some fight left in ya.” I can’t believe I’m about to do this. Joel internally said to himself. Allowing you to travel with him was going to take some time getting used to. An adjustment that would come with all the bumps, and nitty gritty shit along the way.

“You can come with me girlie. I’ll keep you safe, and I’ll teach you everything you need to survive. Don’t go and get all excited just yet cause I got some fuckin’ ground rules. First, you listen to everythin’ I tell ya to do, got it? Whatever I say goes and trust me, you ain’t gonna want to start arguin’ with me. If I tell you to run? You fuckin’ run. If I tell you to shoot? You fuckin’ shoot. Finally, if you get bit, just realize right now that I’m gonna have to kill ya. I’d make it quick, painless before the cordyceps spread. Do yourself a favor and do not get bit. Alright?” Joel spoked sternly, he wanted to instill a bit of fear into you. Some tough love if you will. He hoped to god that he’d never have to kill you under any circumstances.

“Thank fucking god, you didn’t have to wait so long to say that, this isn’t some movie where we need dramatic effects!” You let out a huge fake sigh and sarcastically wiped your forehead, trying to play it off that you weren’t actually scared.

“How about you just say fuckin’ thank you for me saving your goddamn life? Don’t make me change my mind, girlie. Those clickers are still gonna be lookin’ for a snack.” Joel grumbled before he reached into his bag and pulled out a small pistol. “You know how to use one of these things girlie? Or would you prefer a knife? Pick your poison cus’ I got lots of it.”

“Thank you oh so very much kind sir, how ever will I repay you?” You mocked in a terrible southern accent. You thought about all the options he listed and decided on the knife, holding out your hand for him. There was no turning back now, you were in it. You were here and you had to listen to everything he says, but where's the fun in that?

Joel let out a grumbled sigh as he stuffed the pistol back into his backpack before retrieving a decent sized combat knife and handed it over with the blade pointing towards the ground. “Try to not hurt yourself with this, alright sweetheart? She’s pretty sharp.”

“Well if I do hurt myself I have plenty of bandages to use, I’ll just need a hand with it probably” you teased and observed the knife, your thumb brushing over the sharp blade gently. “So where are we going now? Don’t really think you want to stay here after killing all those clickers last night.” Even when he grumbled and talked to you as if you didn’t know a fucking knife was sharp, he was still growing on you. Sure you only met him last night, but you weren’t afraid to admit he was easy on the eyes.

Joel let out a deep sigh as he zipped up his bag. It had only just dawned upon him that he was going to have to share a space with a whole other human being now. His cabin was his safe space. His solace. His home. The fact of reality was he didn’t really want to have to share his space, but what choice did he really have? He promised to protect you and stubborn as he may be, he was a man of his word. “Well, I’ve uh—got a cabin 10 miles west of here. It’s a bit of a hike so I hope you ain’t gonna complain too much about bein’ on your feet.”

“You have a cabin? Why didn’t we go back to it last night instead of sleeping out in the fucking cold?” You start to take the supplies from inside your tent out as you wait for his response. After the third item you put outside the tent, you felt like he was judging so you wrapped everything else in your sleeping bag and rolled it shut, setting it outside in a ball. “Regardless why we didn’t go back, I can’t go to someone’s cabin who won’t even tell me their name, ya know?” The desperation was apparent, you just wanted to know his name.

“Use your head, girlie. Why the hell would I take a total stranger back with me in the middle of the night? Like I said earlier, I ain’t a charitable person. Plus if you knew any better, traveling at night, is by far one of the dumbest things to fuckin’ do out here.” He stated as a matter of factly. Course she wants to know my name. “It’s Joel. My name is Joel. Don’t go and wear it out, cus’ I jus’ have a feelin’ that you will girlie.”

The sound of his name just sparks something inside you, you feel your heart racing a little more now that you finally have a name with a face. “Joel..I like that. It suits you.” I definitely will be wearing it out though, in more ways than one, you thought quietly to yourself. Maybe it was your daddy issues or maybe because you haven’t been around humans in forever, but he set your body on fire, regardless of how much older he was than you.

“You’re a weird one, you know that girlie? It’s just an average Joe’s name. Ain’t nothin’ special about it.” He grumbled under his breath as he slung his backpack over his shoulder. “C’mon, we gotta get movin’ and I don’t plan on takin’ any rest breaks.” He strode past you, giving you a light shoulder check.

As you walk for what feels like forever, you finally make it to his cabin. It’s quaint but still beautiful and bigger than you thought it would be. “Holy shit, Joel! Did you build this yourself? This is amazing.” You compliment as your hand runs over the smooth wooden beam of the porch.

By the time you and Joel arrived at the cabin, Joel’s back was aching, and his boots felt way too tight but he did a good job of hiding it, especially when he was so close to having a stiff glass of whiskey. “Yeah I uh..built it. Took a bitch in a half, but it’s pretty sturdy. Hold your horses though, alright? I need to check to make sure the area is safe. Almost had a nasty run in with some raiders last month so I’ve taken some extra precautions.” He was already cocking his rifle, using his freehand to grasp your arm and yank you behind him protectively.

You’d be lying if you said him putting you behind his back while he looks for anything out of the ordinary didn't scare you. No one had ever been that protective over you though, the way his hands cocked his gun so fast, he didn’t hesitate to take the right measures to ensure your safety. It was hard not to admire him for his bravery. “Yeah I think I’ll just stay riiight back here, behind you.” You whispered and crouched behind him so all you could see was his back. You grabbed the bottom of his shirt to keep you following the right direction as you were close to him at all times.

Joel lightly smacked your hand away, turning his head slightly to look down at you with a narrowed glare. “Cut that shit out. How the hell am I gonna protect us if you’re grippin’ on me like that? Jus’ stay right here, and do not move till I say you can. You got that girlie?” He harshly whispered.

“What? No! You can’t leave me here by myself!” You half-whispered back at him as you dropped your hands to your side. There was a small chance someone could come out right now and stab you to death, leaving you to die in your own pool of blood and he wouldn’t even know it because he thought leaving you alone was a good idea.

“Shuddup. You’re gonna be fine! Just lay low and don’t make a fuckin’ sound.” He whispered as he glanced over his shoulder once more, giving you a reassuring small nod that everything was gonna be just fine. It was always just better to be safe, than sorry. He quietly climbed up the wooden steps, taking a small breath as he slowly pushed open the door handle to the cabin, aiming his gun around the expanse of the entryway. He meticulously checked every room in the small cabin before he made his way back to the front door, pushing it open as he peeked his head out. “Alright, girlie. Coast is clear. We’re safe.”

“Don’t do that shit again, not until you’ve taught me how to defend myself, buddy.” You said annoyed at your own fear making your skin crawl as you put your hand on his chest and pushed past him into his cabin.

“What the fuck did ya just say to me girlie?” Joel grasped your upper arm firmly around his calloused palm, stopping you in your tracks. “Keep that fuckin’ attitude up with me and you’ll be sleepin’ outside like a goddamn dog sweetheart.” His words were harsh, bitter down to the very bone.

“Let go of me, just show me where I’m sleeping, please I’m tired.” You knew you should apologize for your fear making you be so mean but fuck he didn’t need to be so harsh. You looked him in the eye as you tried to tug your arm away, not succeeding in the slightest.

Joel inhaled deeply, exhaling as his nostrils flared out. His grip loosened along your upper arm till it was gone completely. “Fine. Would a thank you fuckin’ hurt? I’m gonna have to teach you some fuckin’ manners.” He gritted through his teeth, striding past you. His boots were heavy along the wooden floor as he walked further into his home.

You rolled your eyes out of his sight and sighed, following him loosely. He could make you sleep on the floor if he really wanted you to, to which you’d lock him out of his bedroom and sleep in his bed. Then who’d be the one sleeping on the floor, Mr.Asshole? “Oh I have manners and I use them with people who deserve them. You, however, do not. Feel free to teach me anything else though, I’m a quick learner.”

“Oh my god, my poor poor heart. That really hurts me, girlie. Go on and twist the knife deeper, why don’t ya?” He scoffed under his breath as he walked down the hall before making an abrupt stop at the first room on the right. He shoved the door open with a small grunt. “This is where you’ll be sleepin.’ It ain’t much, but the bed is decent. Bathroom is down the hall. Don’t expect 5 star service either. Still workin’ on getting proper plumbing.”

“Well thank you, I will be sure to leave a review tomorrow morning, depending how the night goes. Thank you, and I’m sorry.” You hated saying sorry, but it was in your best interest to at this moment. You reached out to touch his arm, just to show him you meant no harm.

“Uh huh. You’re so very welcome.” His tone was laced with sarcasm and as soon as you reached out to touch his arm, he instinctively moved back. Joel was not an intimate person. Well, not on the surface at least. Even so, that part of him had died a long time ago. He wasn’t about to welcome it back in with open arms. “Get some sleep.” Was the last thing he said before he retreated from the open doorway. He grabbed his bottle of whiskey from the makeshift kitchen area, not even bothering to grab a glass before he took a large swig, muttering under his breath. The front door could be heard slamming shut shortly after as he went to stack wood on the log rack. His muscles ached, and his back was sore but these were things that Joel Miller had grown accustomed to. He’d rather suffer through physical pain than deal with his emotions.

As you made your way to the guest room, you noticed his room was right next to yours. Looking around for Joel in sight when you finally saw him outside carrying firewood to fill the log rack on the side of the cabin, you slipped in his room just for a moment. There was a framed photo of a younger version of Joel and a young girl was sitting on his nightstand, he was covering her eyes as the photo was being taken. She had a beautiful smile and this was a whole different version of Joel you didn’t even think existed. Context clues were telling you something bad had happened, but now was not the time to pry. Setting the pink duffle bag on the ground, you quickly grabbed your blanket from inside, fluffed it out and folded it so it was just the right size to lay at the end of the bed for him to use tonight. Regardless of what he said, he liked your blanket and he’d never admit it, and this was your peace offering for not having manners.

[shallowseeker]

"I'm working on a Ph.D," Sam says.

Sam's lie about himself was so interesting in terms of how he sees himself. (I wish it had made it into the episode.)

Instead of defaulting to, "I'm working on a personal research project," or "I'm taking some classes at a local community," Sam says, PHD!

(And I get it. At my age, I wanna say that I'm working on a Masters' or a Ph.D, too. Not that I, "never made it," even though I was, "considered so low-budget genius and backwoods bright.")

From the 14x13 script Dean draws back-- huh? He and Sam swap a confused glance. SAM: What-- who do you think we are? ELIOT: I-- survivalist bigfoot hitmen? Sam and Dean trade a look. SAM: No-- we're-- my brother is a mechanic and I-- I'm working on a PHD-- (exasperated) Just tell us what you saw.

///

I recall, very fondly, this scene with Rowena in 12x02 Mamma Mia:

INTERIOR: INSIDE A RESTAURANT. ROWENA IS SITTING AT A TABLE WITH A MAN. ROWENA: Sent me to the grandest boarding schools, but I was a wee imp and ran away for a life in the arts. Mother didn't speak to me until I became a star. BEN: A star? Of? ROWENA: Uh, do you follow the Royal Ballet? BEN SHAKES HIS HEAD. BEN: Not a bit. ROWENA: The Royal Ballet. BEN: You know, it reminds me a lot of my story. I left school to work in a steel mill. I rose up through the ranks, and now I own half a dozen. ROWENA: You're not serious? FOOTSTEP’S APPROACH AND A WAITER COMES UP WITH A BOTTLE OF WINE.

NOTE: Ben turns out to be a cad and a fraud, but there's something so interesting about how Rowena wants to portray her class background. We know from 11x10 that Rowena, "was (before magic) nothing but Rowena, the tanner's daughter... a pale, scared little girl, who smelled of filth and death."

It's a brilliant thing about Samwena. They get each other, at least as far as this is concerned.

From 15x06 Golden Time:

SAM: Rowena got it. I mean, she didn't know all the details, but she knew the game was rigged. So this... Magic. This is how she kept control.

[aspoonofsugar]

Have you seen Extraordinary Attorney Woo? Some of the characters have really great arcs. If you have seen it, who are your favorites, and why?

Hi!

Yes, I have and I loved it! I liked all the characters to be honest <3 Here are some thoughts on my faves...

THE HANBADA TRIO

These 3 are my absolute faves both in terms of individual characters and of their dynamic. I will talk about individuals later on, so let's now focus on their sibling dynamic.

They are a well written trio in how they are all different and complement each other. They follow the mind-heart-body pattern. To be more specific:

Young Woo is the mind - she is a genius and the one who knows the law the best. She always comes up with a whale an idea to solve the problem at hand by using intuition and creative thinking.

Su-Yeon is the heart - she is our "spring sunshine angel", after all :P She is a genuinelly sweet and kind person, who looks out for and helps Young Woo. She also challenges Min Woo to follow his heart.

Min Woo is the body - have you noticed how he is constantly shown eating? On a deeper note, though, he is a survivalist, who sees society and adulthood as a battlefield, as kill or be killed. This is a primary physical instinct. The body is also often not as much integrated as mind and heart are, which fits with Min Woo not being as close to the other 2 and joining them only at the very end.

At the same time, Young Woo is our protagonist, while Min Woo and Su-Yeon are used to explore different sides of her. Through this lens, they become:

Min Woo: mind, outside (job/society), challenge, rivalry

Su Yeon: heart, inside (personal relationship), nurture, friendship

In short, they are complementary when it comes to Young Woo's arc, which is why they are also such a good fit together. They reconcile all the series's opposite themes.

Let's focus on their thematic importance on WYW's arc by exploring some cases our protagonist shares with them.

Mind and heart

Wild Card vs Tactician and If I Were a Whale are episodes meant to be foiled. The former has Young Woo work alongside Min Woo, while the latter has her help out Su-Yeon. Both episodes are set up as a conflict between mind and heart.

Wild Card vs Tactician has Young Woo set up as the heart to Min Woo's mind. Their rivalry becomes a way to explore 2 different ways to approach a case. Do you pursue the truth (heart) or do you protect the client's interests (mind)?

If I Were a Whale starts with Attorney Jung asking Young Woo to calm Su-Yeon down. He thinks the young attorney is being too passionate about the client and wants Young Woo to be the mind to Su-Yeon's heart.

What's interesting is that in both episodes the set-up dynamic doesn't play as it is expected to. To be more precise, Young Woo ends up being more "tactical" than Min Woo and more emotional than Su-Yeon. On the one hand she takes a witness, who is clearly lying and gives him instructions on how to be convincing. On the other hand she decides her client should get a lenient sentence because she is a good mother. In other words she doesn't play the heart or mind to the other 2 in a complementary way. Rather, Min Woo and Su-Yeon manage to bring out extreme sides of Young Woo. This also highlights our protagonist's shortcomings.

In Wild Card vs Tactician, Young Woo wins in the sense she isn't overshadowed by Min Woo. However, she still gives in to his mindset and betrays the truth. In the end, the true conflict was never the one with her colleague, but the one within herself. Which kind of attorney does she want to become? An honest one or a competent one?

In If I Were a Whale, Young Woo wins morally in the sense that she manages to convey her feelings to the judge, who finds the way to help YW's client. However, she does so outside of the law and of her role as an attorney. In a sense, she and Su-Yeon fail as attorneys because they miss the very obvious solution to their client's problem. They lose themselves in overly complicated theories without drawing attention to the fact their client has confessed, which in itself shows she is repentant.

Children and Lovers

The Pied Piper and Holding Hands Can Wait can be similarly foiled. The first deals with society, while the second with personal relationships. Min Woo gets focus in the first, while Su-Yeon in the second.

The Pied Piper explores how society warps children by teaching them to "give up on the world". This applies to Min Woo, who is cinical and focused on politics. Surely, he is meant to be read as a victim of the same system criticized in the episode. This is why he is confronted by Attorney Jung and called out on his behavior. For all his claiming to be an adult, he keeps behaving as a child and asks an authority figure for punishments and rewards. At the same time, he clearly shows his most childish side this episode, when he jokes with the kids and is eventually entertained by the client's antics.

Holding Hands Can Wait delves into romantic relationships and asks important questions. What is love? Is it enough that a person thinks they are in love? Or what others and society think matter as well? And what does it mean for an autistic person? Su-Yeon parallels the protagonist of the case. She looks for a good person, but ends up falling for a crook only interested in her money. This is very similar to Shin's situation. However, Shin has a handicap, while Su-Yeon does not. So, Shin is stripped of her agency, while Su-Yeon has the chance to "fall in love with a bad boy". But then, what is the difference? Or is there even a difference at all?

In both episodes Young Woo finds herself in the same position. She wants to help a person the law can't help. Bang Gu-ppon doesn't want a reduced sentence and Shin doesn't want her bastard boyfriend to go to prison. Both want to be recognized as people by the system, even if it means the law would side against them. This means Young Woo must protect who they are and their agency, if she wants to help them. She succeeds with Bang Gu-ppon, but fails with Shin.

At the same time, both stories focus on a mother misunderstanding their child. Both Bang Gu-ppon and Shin are deep down trying to communicate with their mothers. They want their moms to recognize them and to accept they aren't crazy or strange, but adults in their own rights.

This is just what deep down Young Woo wants:

Young Woo to Tae Su-Mi: "Don't you recognize me?"

Deep down, Young Woo's arc is a coming of age story that has her turn from child to adult. This is true also for the other young attorneys (plus Jun-Ho), who accompany her in this journey.

WOO YOUNG WOO (2nd FAVE AND 2nd BEST ARC)

Young Woo is great because she is an autistic character whose arc is not (only) about her handicap. Sure, autism is a part of her, as it is her incredible intelligence. However, her story is broader and so it can be universal.

Her arc is about growing up, which means becoming independent from parents, so the mid-climax and the final climax are about Young Woo facing her estranged mother, Tae Su Mi.

In the first climax (A Tale About Sodeok-Dong), Young Woo meets her mother for the first time and enters a conflict with her father. She struggles to become independent only to realize independence is not something that is easy to pintpoint:

Young Woo to Tae Su Mi: "I wanna be a full-out adult, so I was ready to leave my current position at Hanbada and be independent from my dad. But there is not point in leaving my dad in order to join a law firm, where the CEO is my mother."

Changing law firms won't solve her problems and if she really wants to grow, she must learn not to run, but to live her life with all its contradictions.

The 2 episodes-case also sets up Young Woo as the Hackberry Tree:

"Have you ever seen a more beautiful tree, despite not being a national monument?"

Society might not see Young Woo as important, but she is still beautiful and worthy of protection. This idea grows within our protagonist until it blooms in all its beauty in the ending:

Young Woo to Tae Su Mi: "I think my life is unusual, peculiar, but it has value. It's a beautiful life."

This is the moment Young Woo grows and affirms who she is to her mother. Poignantly, their confrontation is not really about Tae Su Mi and Young Woo's mother-daughter's bond. The narrative is very clear about it. Tae Su Mi has not been a mother for Young Woo and this can't be changed. However, she can be a good parent to her son:

Young Woo to Tae Su Mi: "You have not been a good mother to me, but you can still be a good mother to Choi Sang-Hyeon."

Young Woo here does not act as a child asking her parent to love her, but as a big sister who looks out for her little brother. She plays the part of the adult and shows she is strong enough.

The second climax has also Young Woo face a case without Attorney Jung. She finds herself without her mentor, which pushes her to grow even more. Given all this, it fits she gets her contract renewed in the end, which shows her becoming a full-fledged Attorney.

So, the finale has Young Woo affirm her maturity both as a person and as an Attorney. I also find it very nice the title is referenced directly by Attorney Jung:

Attorney Jung: "I'm also curious about what you will do next and that's because you are not an ordinary Attorney."

In the very first episode, Jung calls her extraordinary because of her autism and promptly apologizes. However, in the very last episode he affirms once again she is not ordinary. What's beautiful is that he is not talking about her autism or her intelligence. He means she is extraordinary as a person. He doesn't pity her for the Asperger syndrome, nor admires her because of her genius. He is proud of her because of her heart, which is exactly what catches Jung's attention in their very first case:

Young Woo to Attorney Jung: "The defendand lives on the pension of her husband. The residence from which they collect rent is in her husband's name. Therefore, if the attempted murder is recognized, the defendant will be in a huge financial crisis after her husband passes. She won't be able to receive the pension or to inherit the house. Therefore, I'll try to get her probation for bodily injuries and not for attempted murder."

Young Woo is extraordinary because she manages to bloom in her own person and is always loyal to herself and who she wants to become.

MIN WOO KWON (FAVE AND BEST ARC)

Min Woo is the character who is challenged to change the most and his development is very thightly written, which is an automatic plus for me. Just like Young Woo, he is a kid, who wants to grow, but mistakenly believes growing up means becoming cinical.

This is why we keep seeing opposite sides of him, that really seems impossible to reconcile. On the one hand he is obnoxious, tactical and unfair. On the other hand he is a decent friend to Su-Yeon and Jun-Ho, he lives in a modest apartment and works hard for his parents' sake. This duality is well conveyed through his looks. At work he puts his hair up, while at home he wears it down in a simpler way. It is because he puts on a persona while working. However, his real self appears here and there through the cracks.

The struggle between Min Woo's 2 sides is explored through 2 different plot-lines:

The work plot-line, where he tries to best and ultimately to sabotage Young Woo. He keeps spiraling by thinking only politics and tactics can make him a successful adult. Ironically, he keeps pushing himself in worse situations and never gets a win.

The romantic plotline with Su-Yeon, which takes flight in Jeju. This is not by chance because Jeju is more than anything a holiday. So, there Min Woo can show a more relaxed and kinder self, who impresses Su-Yeon.

All of this comes together in the last case, where Min Woo has to choose between his mind and his heart, between tactics and love. Not only that, he also has to choose between Attorney Jung and Attorney Jang, aka his 2 mentors.

Attorney Jung is a lawyer, who tries to reconcile the interests of the client with the social good. He doesn't always succeed, but he tries and his performance in Jeju shows what an expert lawyer can do. This is what both Min Woo and Young Woo should learn to do. He is who Min Woo may become if he grows as a lawyer.

Attorney Jang is a lawyer, who has reached his current position through politics and networking. It is implied his talent is mostly in charming others, rather than in being a good lawyer. On paper, he is the mentor Min Woo has wanted for the whole series. He is someone, who is tactical, who can't stand Young Woo and who favors Min Woo over his colleagues. And yet, once Min Woo has to work with him, he can't stand it. Jang is arrogant, incompetent and would push his mentees under a bus to save himself. He is who Min Woo may become if he fails to grow and doesn't change.

Min Woo's finale is to choose between Su-Yeon (heart) and Jang (mind) and he is finally able to follow his heart for once:

Su-Yeon: "Can't you for once act as a fool? For a colleague. For something you think it's right"

He acts as an idiot and by doing so, he is recognized for the first time by an authority figure. The Judge is impressed by Min-Woo's statement and smiles. Min-Woo and Su-Yeon win the case and that is the first case they win as adults.

Similarly, Min Woo eventually refusing Tae-Su Mi's request to have Young Woo leave Hanbada seems to gain him Tae Su Mi's favor much more than his clumsy attempt to blackmail her:

Min Woo: "I'm stopping here" Tae Su Mi: "Why?" Min Woo: "From now on... I think I'll try living as a fool" Both smile.

By the end of the season, Min Woo starts to realize that he must follow his heart and act more like a fool, if he really wants to grow up.

SU-YEON CHOI (3rd FAVE)

Su-Yeon is a Queen and deserves the world. Her arc revolves around romantic subplots, but at its heart there is this message:

Seeing isn't everything. There is more.

Su-Yeon's growth lies in discovering there is much hidden under the surface, both when it comes to herself and to others. It is not by chance what sparks her friendship with Young Woo is this moment:

Here, Su-Yeon simply wants to be humored and to be called cute or a beauty. However, Young Woo gives her a deeper answer and praises Su-Yeon for her heart. It is her heart, which makes Su-Yeon beautiful, rather than her looks.

This theme of discovering the true heart of herself and others is at the centre of her quest to find "a good person". She starts by having a crush on Jun-Ho, who is the man of her dreams, but lets go of him, when she realizes he has feelings for Young Woo. At this point, she dates a bunch of men, she doesn't really like until she finds someone, who is perfect on paper. He is handsome, he treats her gently and is romantic. Little problem, he is actually a fraud, only interested in her money.

Here comes Min-Woo, who forces Su-Yeon to see complexity. If you notice, Su-Yeon and Min-Woo's interactions in Jeju are basically a mix of all her past love experiences.

On the one hand Min-Woo is surprisingly kind. He helps Su-Yeon with her bags, he goes with her to buy drinks and so on. It is important Min-Woo reveals himself as an inversion of Su-Yeon's previous scumbag boyfriend. The latter wears a kind persona to hide his rotten self, while Min-Woo fakes to be cinical, when he is actually quite kind deep down. So, we have the scumbag buying flowers and offering drinks to manipulate Su-Yeon. Min-Woo instead offers Su-Yeon a beer and buys flower with no malice at all.

On the other hand Min-Woo also challenges Su-Yeon by having her look at her privilege. When she goes on blind dates, Su-Yeon is annoyed people keep asking her about money and are impressed by her father. This is fair, but Min-Woo also points to her she doesn't have to be worried about money only because she is rich. Someone like him doesn't really have this luxury and she should be conscious of that.

In general, their relationship has a lot of potential and I am looking forward to see it bloom in a possible 2nd season.

JUNG MYUNG-SEOK (3rd BEST ARC)

Attorney's Jung arc is about finding a balance between worklife and personal life. He sacrificed everything to his work and when he discovers himself ill, he starts re-evaluating his choices.

However, his arc is not as simple as... I should give up working to truly live. The point is Attorney Jung loves his work and has grown into a formidable lawyer. He is so formidable he even manages to symbolically solve the ideological conflict between Young-Woo and Min-Woo on which kind of lawyer one should become. Attorney Jung proves to them sometimes it is possible to work for the good of both the law firm and of the people. As Young Woo states:

Young Woo: It's worth working so hard over the years to the poing of getting stomach cancer Attorney Jung: Really? So all this time was really worth it? Young Woo: Yes, I think it was.

It means no matter what Jung's life has value because he has managed to touch many people. First of all, his 3 mentees, who immediately imitate him by helping the noodle restaurant's owner. The scene is meant to be Attorney Jung's climax because he sees how much they have all grown and that they are shaping up to be good attorneys, each in their own way.

Jung's ending is ambiguous. Will he choose Hanbada or his ex wife? Will he choose mind or heart? Society or personal relationships? As you can see, this dychotomy is everywhere throughout the story.

JOON-HO LEE (A PUPPY)

I like Joon-Ho, but a little bit less than the others. His major conflict is about his relationship with Young Woo. Still, it is interesting because the nature of the conflict evolves with time

Initially, Joon-ho is focused on himself and his own insecurities. He clearly likes Young Woo, but is unsure on how to approach the matter. Once again Su-yeon and Min-woo help him by offering opposite advices. Su-yeon invites Jun-ho to be serious about the relationship, while Min-woo gives him the push to risk it all.

After Joon-ho and Young Woo end up together, he immediately has to face society's opposition to his relationship. This opposition escalates from just a bunch of university friends to Joon-ho's own sister.

Finally, the focus shifts on Young Woo, who challenges him to accept all of her. Not just her positive sides, but also her flaws in all their complexity. The resolution between the 2 is beautiful and it enforces their relationship is true love and not "compassion" or a "lesser degree love", like others say.

Young Woo and Joon-Ho love each other and have discussed their relationship, what they expect to ti and the compromises they are ready to do for it like 2 adults. Hence it is love.

Thank you for the ask!

[skegulium]

17, 18, 29, 35, and 40 for Dzhiya too

How well can your oc keep secrets? Is there a difference between how they handle their own vs someone else’s? To what lengths would they go to keep something hidden?

Dzhiya is fucking BALLER at keeping secrets. She's one of the best secret keepers you could give a secret keeper to. She's not a fucking snitch. Even if she's scared out of her wits by the situation, she's not going to squeal about anything - ESPECIALLY if it's a friend. Hell, she'd hold up to torture and threat of death if need be. Even if it's just work stuff - like a FLARPing group trying to keep their found treasure secret - she'd never tell a soul what she was paid to keep quiet. In fact, before i did a soft reset on her, she was actively friends with and supported a hemorebel. Their secrets are her secrets! She doesn't have much of her own, but she doesn't need to have any!

I think it would be more interesting to ask about the situations in which she WOULD snitch - and the answer to that is that she'd only do it if she felt like keeping the secret would harm her friends more than it would help them.

How does your oc fare in an emergency situation? Do they panic, do they freeze, do they take charge?

She's quite excellent at handling emergencies! As a FLARPing guide for hire, she has to be! She does everything she can to keep her teams alive, whether that's some basic patchwork first aid, or springing to action to fight back against an ambush. As I've joked before, her fight or flight response has been twisted so hard to fight that it's broken the dial. She's terrified, but by god will she stab a bitch to neutralize the scary thing. It also helps that her psionic power allows her to sense when danger is approaching and as long as she trusts her instincts, she won't be harmed. Usually.

How empathetic is your oc? Or are they closer to being a sociopath? Any reason why?

oh she is the FARTHEST thing from a sociopath. Dzhiya is empathetic to a fault! I think she'd be very easy to RP as a pale floozy, because she's easy to gain pity from! I don't think there's a specific reason for it - i think she's just got a big heart and naturally is just a people pleaser. She's a worry wart and in the toxic, high-octane survivalist culture of Alternia, Dzhiya is determined to survive and make as little waves as she can. She's also pretty fearful - so I suppose that's where a lot of her empathy comes from? The knowledge that even people who act like assholes could just be lashing out in fear.

However, her empathy does have a limit. She's no saint - and while she can easily hand out pity like candy, she knows toxic behavior when she sees it. She knows not to make herself into a punching bag for someone who does not and would never pity her back. She wants to be a friend, not a lusus, to people.

Is your oc a workaholic, or do they find it hard to be busy at all? Do they find it easy to relax, or must they have something to do at all times? Why?

Oho - A good question! Thinking on it... I don't think she's a workaholic? She works a lot, of course - her line of work isn't exactly one where you have frequent breaks. Being a FLARP guide means that you have to be available 24/7 on your campaigns. Once it's over, she does like to sit back and relax with other FLARP guides in their designated FLARP villages where they rest, recoup, and solicit more employment. She's quite good at compartmentalizing so even if things get pretty traumatic, she can focus on taking care of herself instead of wallowing in despair.

How humble is your oc? Or are they closer to royal in their self-perception? Why? Is this obvious to others?

She's very humble! She's quite aware of her own place in the hemospectrum and she's very aware of her own mortality. Watching a lot of your friends get slaughtered in front of you by a rainbow drinker will do that to someone, lol. She doesn't think she's particularly special as a person, nor does she thinks he's exceptionally skilled. Clarivoyants (as she thinks she is one, lol) are dime a dozen, and hers only works on an instinctual, 3 second ruleset. Really not the most interesting or useful power for anyone but herself! She doesn't believe she'd be the type of person who gets singled out as exceptional by anyone.

That being said, Dzhiya does think her greatest strengths are her own downfall. Her loyalty is one she's accepted could kill her one day, and her hobbies may get her into a situation she won't be able to get herself out of. Her brilliant mind that has her studying rainbow drinkers in her free time plagues her with nightmares, as she's well aware that her own obsession is dangerous and has killed her friends in the past. Her fears in life are that she's not enough. Not enough to save herself, or others. She has quite a crippling fear of loss and death!

I feel like this is pretty obvious to others.

[crystaltoa]

Admittedly, I’m not much of a DnD person so I’ve mostly just used classic fantasy races with a few borrowed elements from DnD. I thought up a little backstory/context for some of the characters, but it’s fairly vague and doesn’t always fit neatly into the DnD class system.

Nuju would be a wizard (school of divination) There are a number of homebrews like seer, oracle, Astrologer etc that sort of fit, but I’m just going with the general title for now. As Shauni inferred from that other post, he’s had a very cushy and sheltered existence up in his wizard tower until now, so his outfit is woefully impractical for adventuring.

Whenua works for a museum and is trained in multiple disciplines such as history, biology and archaeology. His current job involves collection and study of magical creatures and artefacts, which involves a lot of fieldwork in ancient ruins and dungeons. Unlike most adventurers, he avoids fighting monsters as much as possible, which is a little odd given that he’s not exactly known for speed or stealth. His main class is Loremaster, but I feel he should have something else that reflects his strength and endurance, maybe something with Survivalist skills?

Matau is a Pilot, which is a subclass of Rogue. It may seem a little anachronistic given the medieval aesthetics of the others, but I’m picturing kind of a clockpunk/steampunk set of flying machines that look like airborne deathtraps and this tiny gremlin at the wheel having the time of his life. Maybe multiclassing in Bard to give him illusion magic, and to fit with his title of “the singer” as a Turaga. Nokama I think would still be a teacher of some kind in this AU. I think Knowledge Cleric probably fits that role the best, as some of the disciplines of study overlap with subjects Nokama taught in canon. Her outfit is designed to convey status and elegance, but it’s a lot more practical than Nuju’s robes. Her overskirt can be easily taken off to go for a swim (she has short trousers on underneath) and her sandals are comfortable for walking around a city, but maybe not quite suited to more rugged or wild areas. She’s fairly active and possibly has some martial arts training, though this is largely for fitness/recreation/cultivation of mental discipline rather than intended for serious combat. I imagine she would initially struggle in an actual fight against opponents who don’t play by the rules of the sport she trained in. I’m still not quite sure on her species. Genasi fits her appearance but I prefer the idea of the Metru coming from fairly mundane walks of life (for the setting) rather than being marked as special from birth, which is more how I see the Toa Mata. I’m kind of leaning towards Triton, which would give her the elemental control and language abilities similar to canon. Her height and colouring would be a little unusual for them though… hmmm… (might also take a multiclass approach for her if anyone has suggestions as to what?)

Onewa works as a craftsman of some kind, hence the apron. In canon he’s something of a dark horse, having worked on sculptures, buildings, and assembling machinery, so it’s possible he’s kind of a freelance odd-job man here as well, though given the choice he would prefer to pursue his own projects and make weird art all day. He wears armor under his apron, suggesting he’s always ready to drop everything and fight if he has to, even while he’s deeply immersed in his craft. I imagine he’s had a tough life and distrusts everyone around him, so maybe that armor is the only good bit of kit he owns and he suspects it will disappear if he lets it out of his sight. He’s often underestimated by others. Orcs perceive him as small and weak and overly sensitive, humans assume he’s a big, stupid brute. He’s secretly taught himself some magic from secondhand academic textbooks, which is what most of his meagre income goes towards. Part of him wants desperately to prove himself and show the world his skill and intellect, but it’s more practical to keep a low profile and let others be wrong about him. In terms of classes, I think multiclassing in Artificer combined with either fighter or perhaps even barbarian? Not sure how well that works with the lore or as a strategy, so advice is always welcome.

Vakama is a blacksmith by trade but discovered an innate talent for elemental magic, so in DnD terms he’s a Sorceror. In terms of his canon MO I would say he seems like a Rogue of some kind? Idk, I could use a bit of advice on this one too…

So, I wanted to do more character designs for the Toa Metru fantasy AU from this post, but I’m waiting for my new drawing tablet to arrive. So in the meantime, I’m making the characters in Heroforge.

So as you may recall, Nuju is an elf in this AU. His outfit is more or less a recreation from the drawing I did.

And Whenua’s a dungeoneering dwarf, who has no right to be pulling off the monobrow as well as he does.

Matau’s a gnome. Designated Funny Little Guy for life.

Nokama is a… I don’t know, honestly. I was thinking like a Neriad or a Nixie, though the closest thing in DnD would be a Sea Elf. I was planning on giving her blue skin, but there wasn’t a shade that worked well and she looked like a Na’Vi, so I went with a more realistic skin tone with some blue markings and I actually really like how it looks.

Onewa's a half-orc. He's the one I'd probably change the most when drawing him since Heroforge didn't have quite the hair or beard style that I wanted for him, and I don't think his face 'reads' as Onewa in the same way that the other characters look like themselves. That said, I like how his build turned out, and I think his outfit suggests an interesting story.

And Vakama, the token human blacksmith. His weapon is a magic crossbow since that seemed the most conceptually similar thing to the disk launcher.

[equizona]

Guten Tag fair lady!

I have th request!

Platonic yandere William X survivalist daughter reader?

Like she has weapons hidden over the house she's a good fighter

Frist time he breaks into her place she knocks him out with a bat and ties him up with chains and just kinda leaves him outside (this was funny to think about like I am laughing so much in my head)

Oh god it's German now-

Moving on, thank you for ghe request! Also tell my why you are so obsessed with being Williams daughter- no judgment, I relate, but b r o. Also, i am far from a survivalist, but I have a lot of weapons, especially knives, so I had to put some of my personal collection into this.

With a survivalist daughter[FNAF]

[Female][headcanons][plantonic]

William isn't the type to break into peoples houses. But despite that, he is sneaky, and he knows. So he isn't scared to break into somebody's house.

He'll probably found proof that you're his child, and so he decided to sneak in to try and find out more about you, and mabye get some of your blood for a DNA test.

He won't be expecting you to not be in your bed, or that you were hiding behind the door, ready to knock him out.

When he wakes up tied to a chair with chains outside your house? He'll be surprised to say the least.

But William knows how to get it of chains, he's done it before. So it won't be long until he's out.

When he is out, he'll check if you're still at home. He knows signs, and he will know. If you are home, he'll leave. Planning on coming back at a later date.

If you aren't home, he'll enter again. Locked doors? Won't matter. He'll get in.

Then the search is on. He's looking all over your house. Trying to find out more about you.

And when he sees how many weapons you have, he'll be shocked. He'll gather up all your weapons. Knives, guns, etc.

He'll find a knife with a little hack made for lighting fires hung on your bedside table. [Shamelessly telling about my favorite knife] He'll find all types of weapons.

Then he's looking through your books and the etcetera. A lot of books on what you can eat in the wild, how to use the materials around you, etc.

He is most definitely very interested now. So, he'll do a different approach.

He'll wait until it's day light, and knock on your door. If you try to hit him again, he's prepared this time. And he'll put his act back on.

"I am so so sorry about breaking into your house yesterday. Please let me explain!"

William is a sociopath, a psycholath. Worse than that, he is a great liar and a great actor. You will never know if he is lying with you. You won't ever notice him manipulating you.

He'll seem so honest, so nice. Apologetic. You can't help but let him talk.

"Look, I think you might be my child. Before you hit me again, let me explain. I had four children, three died, one didn't. I never found the fourth one, but I think you might be the one! Your family has all the same names as mine. I was just going to see if I could get a DNA test."

He's so hard to notice when he's lying, and he can be so nice. Only if he wants to. It might seem crazy. But you can't help but believe him.

So you head down to the hospital. And he was right, your DNA matches. Your father is alive.

And then he'll put himself back into your life. He'll be the father he knows you never had. He'll be the father you are so desperate to have you won't stop to think about why you were alone.

But that's not all. He wants you away from society. Away from everyone. You have friends? He wants them gone. A lover? You won't for long. He'll make sure of it.

And your interests just make it so easy for him. He'll show a great intrest in survival things. The things you adore. And he'll take you far away into the woods. Claiming it to be you two getting closer.

You'll take it. You ever want to bring someone along?

"But sweetheart, this will be father-daughter bonding time. You don't want anyone to ruin that, do you?"

Of course you don't. You've been longing for a father figure for so long.

And like that, he has you trapped.

[lemons-are-tasty]

Room 114

This is my entry for @rebelwrites Fanfic Friday

1.

Trent was sitting outside the Motel he had told the guy -Scott- to meet him at and it was a half hour past their meet up time and he was right as he was beginning to think that this Scott guy had stood him up he saw someone walking towards his car and he looked like the man he was meeting.

Trent got out of his car when Scott approached his car, he reached out his hand when they were standing face to face, Scott reached out and shook his hand although he was a bit awkward.

"What's that there?" Trent asked nodding towards the two things he saw in Scott's other hand

"O-oh uh these?" Scott shoved them into his hands and when Trent looked down to see what Scott had got him he couldn't help but snort a laugh

"A travel shovel annnnd an 'Ultimate Survivalist's Guide Everything you need to know about surviving mother nature and her creations' So did you happen to just have these lying around?" Trent asked with a hint of laughter in his voice

"I-I-I didn't know what you liked so I got you something practical" Scott said looking very flustered

"It's fine, I like 'em now come one I got us a room so that we could talk more" Trent said leading them to their room

Once they were inside the room Trent joined Scott on the bed

"Are you Navy?" Scott asked

"Uh yea, why do you ask" Trent replied

"I'm Navy too and I think i've seen you around base a couple a times before, Norfolk Naval station right?" Scott asked

"Yea, now you mention it I think I have seen you around" Trent said and for the rest of the evening and some of the night they talked and at one point may have kissed a bit.

2.

It was Scott and Trent one year anniversary and they were back at the hotel they had their first date in, same room and everything.

They were lying on the bed just relaxing when Scott sat up on his side and looked at Trent

"Hey I know we haven't done this yet but I was wondering if you want to maybe go with me on our off week to meet my family?"

"I would love too, Scott, I wanna meet Raylie she sounds fun" Trent said

"Yea she's fun, loves doing all that shit you like to do including medicine, you'll have some interesting conversations" Scott answered, they spent the rest of the night there Trent in Scott's arms talking about everything and nothing all at once

3.

I was a couple days past their 4 years anniversary and Trent had just started Green team and they were out celebrating but they ended the night in the Motel they were so fond of.

"Hey Trent, you awake I wanna ask you something?" Metal whispered into Trent's ear

"You just did, now leave me alone" Trent grumbled not at all happy about being woken up

"Well I just wanted to ask one thing" Scott said as he got the ring out of his pocket "Will you Marry Me?" He held the ring in front of a half asleep Trent

"Are you fucking with me?" Trent asked suddenly much more awake now

"No and i'll ask again will you Marry Me?" Scott repeated

"YES! You asshole! I'll Marry you" Trent said, tears welling up in his eyes

"Hey! I'm an asshole? I just asked you to marry me." Metal said putting a hand to his chest in fake hurt "You wound me my love" He said dramatically

"Can you stop being dramatic for one second and put the damn thing on my finger!" Trent huffed as he held out his hand, staring at the ring as Scott slipped onto his ring finger

"Do you like the ring" Scott asked, the ring was a simple pure black wedding band, something Trent would cherish and appreciate

"Of course I like the ring, I love you, you know, your the best thing to ever happen to me" Trent confessed

"And your the best thing to ever happen to me, I love you too" Scott said, he leaned in and kissed Trent sweetly, never wanting to let go and let this moment end

4.

"Do you Trent Brayden Sawyer take this man, Scott Harper Carter to be your lawfully wedded husband" The wedding officiant asked them, it was their wedding night, they had decided not to have a big wedding and to just get married in the court house when they had the time and today was that day, Trent had finished Green team and got onto Bravo team, Scott was so proud of his fiance, soon to be husband, he had worked so hard for this and deserved everything he earned along the way.

"I Do" Trent answered not a hint of hesitation in his voice

"I now pronounce you husbands, you may now kiss the groom" Trent and Scott leaned in and shared their first every kiss as husbands.

...

After they got married they went over to the motel room and had some sweet after marriage celebratory sex, Trent was so out of it he barely noticed Scott running his fingers through his hair

"What are you doing?" Trent slurred barely awake

"Just...Admiring how beautiful you are" Scott answered honestly

"Yea, well thank you but can do it softer because I want to sleep" Trent grumped

"Sure thing love, sleep, I'll wake you when we have to get up" Scott chuckled quietly at his husbands antics, husband, it felt so...new to him but so, so, good, he wanted to call this man his his for the rest of his life.

Scott lied there with Trent in his arms reminiscing on all the time they've spent in this very Motel room, room 114, it's where they had their first date, their first kiss, where they made love for the first time, where he proposed, and they got married right across from it, this motel meant so much and he didn't know why but if he had to guess it would probably be because this is where he fell in love with the most amazing man in the world and he wouldn't trade it for nothing.

Hope you enjoyed, this is my first entry in Rebel's fanfic friday I'll try and do next week, see you then -QMP

[jubilantwriter]

Of Blood and Static

Chapter 5: I wish I knew if you were getting these.

(AO3)  (First)  (Previous)  (Next)

Word Count: 8103

////

The Lady is aware of the loops.  She's aware of the hopelessness that sticks to them like leeches, of the constant strike of deja vu, of how someone so strange shouldn't feel so familiar and warm to her, and of a yearning for something that claws at her from deep within.  

He's precious to her, she knows this by now.  Almost every puzzle piece is in place, every shard gathered to reflect her past and present and future- everything is almost complete, and for once, even as a child, she thinks she knows what to do.

Perhaps the last remaining mystery is why the Thin Man still chooses to kidnap and tear her into two.  Is this also out of habit?  Does he just continue the same events over and over again with the reassurance of knowing what will happen next?  Her Shadow rarely says or reveals anything, merely a quiet bystander that watches and remembers everything until they are reunited as one.

(She looks at the pile of dust in her memories, ground to a fine powder as if to never be viewed or remembered again.  Something... happened there.  Something terrible.  If only she could recall what, perhaps she could have the answer to all her questions.)

Whatever his intentions are, she'll have to uncover them another time as the Flesh Walls surround them once more.  The pair of them race off as their path predictably falls apart beneath them.  A whisper is harsh in her ear as her Shadow guides her through halls only it can remember.

Mono groans in pain behind her, but before she can hazard a glance over her shoulder, the ceiling very nearly comes down on top of them.  A strained, "Oi!" from her is the only thing she can manage to coax him to move faster.

She moves with the help of habit and repetition, the familiarity leading the way with ease as she makes the jump towards the exit.  But sometimes, sometimes things change.

Sometimes they change when she least expects it.  

The ending is supposed to always be the same.

She jumps, and then Mono jumps, depending on her to catch him.  Then she catches him, holds him tight in her grasp before letting him go.  That's how it always goes.  But this time.  This time she won't let him go.  Her Shadow whispers in her ear, "Make this the last time," and she finds her selfishness overrides her survival instinct as she turns to reach her arm out to him.

But something's wrong.  Her eyes widen as the gap between them widens.  He's slow.  Too slow.  He's holding onto his side and staggering forward - hurt, injured, handicapped.  The Walls are encroaching closer, too close- she screams for him, stealth be damned as she frantically waves him over to her.

The last thing she sees is the fear in his eyes as he reaches desperately towards her (like when the Thin Man takes her over and over again, how she'd reach for him knowing he couldn't reach back to her) and the Flesh Walls with their bulging eyes crash down upon him leaving only his hand grasping desperately at the air.  The rest of the platform breaks beneath him and she screams again as the Walls take him down with it.

She screams and screams and screams because she was going to catch him, she was going to catch him and pull him up-

Survival instinct overrides her selfishness.  She hugs herself and sobs, pushing herself up and heading towards the portal out.  Six can't mourn Mono - she doesn't have the time to as she's spat out by the television and the Hunger begins to roil inside her.  However, her Shadow whispers morosely for her, standing by the poster as it softly cries, "This was supposed to be the last time."

Things go as they always go.  It happens in a blur, her Shadow silent and watching as it always does.  As such, she finds herself approaching a familiar room while she curls over in pain, Hunger threatening to consume her and-

And a boy in blue stands there, turns around at her approach and sees her hunched figure.  He looks down and picks up a stray sausage on the floor and holds it out to her with a smile.  The Hunger wants flesh, and her eyes drift from the sausage to the boy whose smile is so kind, so eager to help- 

(So much like Mono, and her heart cries for him because this wasn't supposed to happen, not like this-)

Her body is ready for the lunge when her Shadow stops her.  Interferes in a way it never did before.  "Don't," it whispers, and instead guides her body to the sausage, leaving the boy unharmed.  A part of her howls in anger - it wants living flesh, a body that is still squirming with life - but her other half feels an oddly familiar wave of relief.

Sobs wrack her frame as she tears into the sausage.  She could have eaten the boy.  She wanted to eat the boy.  But her Shadow stopped her, as if it had a reason for its actions.  The boy kneels down to her level, hands hesitant before landing on her shoulders in comfort.

He reminds her of Mono, and her chest heaves with another heartbroken sob.  Although he tries to comfort her, he's still wary of her, hesitant in ways Mono never would have been.  The boy is like Mono, and also so completely not like him.  It's different.  A change.

(Welcomed?  Or not?  Her Shadow shuffles through the puzzle pieces as Six focuses on surviving.  The Shadow raises its head and comes to a realization.  It will share it with her soon enough.)  

The boy follows her around, as if unsure if he should leave her alone.  Nomes trail after them, more intent on following the boy than Six.  Not that it matters.  They reach the Lady's quarters and the boy immediately grows anxious.  He takes her hand without warning (his hands are rough and calloused, but not as much as Mono's) and tries to lead her out.  With a shake of her head, she pulls her hand free and continues on her path.  Despite whatever anxieties plague him, he continues to follow her in, only to dash away and hide when he hears the hum of the Lady.

She loses sight of him and is glad for it.  Less people in the way means less collateral damage.  Her feet move her to a familiar rhythm, the accompaniment of another set of footsteps failing to throw her off.  She still can't see him, but she knows he lingers as she unlocks a door and carries on.

Six kills the Lady, teeth bared and tearing into flesh as she eats from the warm body.  The boy follows her in, terrified by what he just witnessed, but still choosing to follow her around as the little nomes gathered around him.  A question arises in her mind, but the Guests surrounding them need to be dealt with first, so she lets him watch as she demonstrates her newly gained power.

She’s never had an audience before, one that lives and trembles but refuses to back down when she turns back to him, a newly created monster in front of him with blood painting her coat.

It's a change.

But not the one she wanted.

The boy stays by her side with a lack of something better to do and hugs a nome close to his chest.  Not once does he try to stop her (these were adults she was killing after all, not children, never children), but he never shakes that look of concern and trepidation off his face.  Still, he follows.

The boy is... odd.  He's not like the other children she's come across in the Maw.  The boy is a survivalist, just like Six, and it shows with how long he’s survived on the ship.  He sticks by her side knowing she’s powerful enough to fight against adults, but stays a healthy distance away until he’s sure she won’t hurt him.  And then he's too kind.  Too caring.  He stops to offer her help, trying to be there for her despite hardly knowing her.  Her Hunger strikes, and he dashes off to find her food.  When she rejects anything that isn’t meat, he huffs in frustration but continues to feed her.

The boy sticks to her side like glue from then on.  It should be annoying, having a sudden companion she doesn’t need.  But sharing space with someone again is… nice.  They share names, talk softly to each other, confide in each other.  When something is out of her reach, he hoists her up with ease.  Keys are shuffled between them to keep the other from tiring out too soon.  She finds out the best ways to annoy him endlessly.  He discovers how to tease her without losing a finger.

Sometimes, they laugh together in the safety of each other’s company.  More often than not, they hold each other’s hands, a comfort he’s learned is deeply ingrained in Six.  When she can’t sleep at night, he turns his flashlight on and tells her stories he’s read from books he’s found.  When he wakes from his nightmares, she takes her lighter out and hums a lullaby to the sway of the flame.  

(He always flinches away from her when he wakes.  Like he’s expecting her to hurt him.  It hurts, just a little, when he does.  Why?  What did she do to him in his nightmares?

Despite her questioning, he never tells her what his nightmares are.  Always tells her that it’ll only make her sad.  Still.  She wishes she knew the cause, if only to fight them away from his mind.)

Without meaning to, they grow closer and fonder with each passing day.  Footsteps follow her into her adulthood, and somehow, he's sharing the role the Janitor once solely held, but with a more human touch that the children can better appreciate.

The boy becomes a man.  The Caretaker.  His outfit is styled to look similar to Six's- no, the Lady's, with a looser fit for easier movement.  He's an odd one, the Caretaker.  Unlike the Janitor, he doesn't turn into a monster - no, he becomes an adult, but a completely human one.  He's the least monstrous on the ship, save for the children, and willingly gets in her way when she attempts to continue the tradition of serving children to the Guests.

(She's thankful for his meddling.  Her Shadow hums in her chest, now a part of her once more as the realization is shared.

The final puzzle piece lays in her hand and her Shadow entrusts her to finally complete it.  To make it the last time.)

His outfit is a dark blue, a shade deeper than his original blue sweater with a light gray hakima for contrast.  At first, he was hesitant to follow the theme of the Maw, with the Lady donning her signature dark brown kimono and mask.  But after some insistence, he agreed to wear the outfit so long as the Lady made a few adjustments that kept her separate from the previous Lady, as if it mattered.

A fairly extravagant hairpin now decorates her bun, gifted to her by the Caretaker.  The golden pin has small but simple flowers that dangle away from her hair when she pins up her bun.  

"Primroses," he says softly, because he always speaks softly with that gentle tone so fitting of his role, "is what I think they are."

"You think?"

"They look similar to the flowers in the books, and the books called those flowers primroses."  

The next thing he gifts her is a new obi - the fabric golden with a satin shine to it as he helps tie it around her waist, knotting it into a fanciful bow.  

“Oh really now.”  She ignores his laughter as he hands her the obijime to tie herself.  “I’m not a child anymore - I didn’t need you to tie it into a bow or tie the obi for me.”

“I miss helping you with your obi.  And besides, if I didn’t tie the obi, then you wouldn’t have let me tie it into a bow.  It looks cuter like this!”

“I’m not going for cute, I’m going for prim and elegant.”  Despite her protests, she doesn’t untie the obi to return it to its usual style.  

“Sure you are.”  

The last thing he gifts her is a shiny, bejeweled brooch.  Like the hairpin, the main shape of it is also a flower.  Golden leaves curl around the bud delicately as she holds it in her palm. Faint hints of lavender and pale green color the flower, colors blending into the golden build of the brooch.  

“Did your books tell you anything about this flower?” she asks, holding it out to him.

“Iris, probably.  It's hard to tell sometimes with these things.”  

“Your knowledge is ever so on point, as usual.”  She ignores his affronted whine and looks at the flower more closely.  Something used to be in the center of the bud.  She points it out to the Caretaker who merely shrugs.

“It was like that when I found it.”

“You found this?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

A suspicious squint has him shrugging again playfully.  Shaking her head, she turns it this way and that before turning back to the man.  “What am I supposed to do with this?”

“Uh, wear it?”

“Stupid- I know that.  But where?”  She gestures at her kimono.  “This outfit isn’t made for brooches.”

“That’s what you think.”  He points to the knot of her obijime and points back to the brooch.  “Just attach it there.”

“For what purpose?”

“It looks pretty.  I thought you like looking pretty?  Even though you wear boring kimonos and use a mask to cover your face.”  He coos at her, poking her mask’s cheek.

“I should hit you.”

“With what reach?”  He ducks when she swings her brush at his head.  “Missed!”

“I won’t next time,” she growls, fastening the brooch over the knot of her obijime.  With her outfit newly completed, she turns to the space where a mirror should be.  She gathers what visual information she can from the remaining shards in the shattered mirror’s frame.  

It probably looks bad.  The Caretaker hums and stands besides her.  “I think you look nice.”  Definitely bad.

“These all seem a bit much.  And why gold?”

“Isn’t yellow your favorite color?  Trust me, these weren’t easy finds.”

“Gold is quite the extravagant yellow- and where did you find these again?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“You’ve been going through the Guests’ luggage again, haven’t you?”  She turns to him with a tired glare.  Doesn’t he have other things to do besides ransacking the Guests’ things once again?  Granted, it’s not as though they will be needing their luggage once on the Maw, but still.

“I said don’t worry about it.”  He combs through his own locks, bangs getting long once again as it drapes over his eyes.  "It’s high time you had a wardrobe update.  This way, you won't look exactly like the past Lady."

Like the last Lady.  How would he react if he knew what she dragged him into?  Of the loops she's lived in, loops where she never met him, where he must have escaped the Maw instead of remaining willfully trapped here?  Since now, here he stands next to her, hands braced on her shoulders like a proud older brother.  They never really figured out who was the older, but the Caretaker liked to suggest that maybe it was him, since he was taller than her even with her bun up.

He is a change.  A welcomed one, she settles on.  Maybe the change they need.

But it's a change she doesn't know how to handle.  Nor how the Thin Man may know to handle.  Regardless of this confusing situation, the Caretaker has grown close to her - a confidant, her right-hand man in this ever changing loop.  He's something she's never quite experienced before.

(A breath of fresh air.)

So it only makes sense why she hesitates before the screen.  The Caretaker follows her into her quarters at her behest, lingering behind her awkwardly as she stands in front of the screen.  He knows well enough when she wants his input and when it's better to be quiet, so he remains quiet as she internally struggles with herself.

What if this was a mistake?  What if this loop was a pointless, meaningless venture that served nothing in furthering their goal?

...What even is their goal?  A part of her suggests survival, to continue the loops because they continue to live, and live, and live with a guarantee of never completely dying.  But another part of her suggests something else.

To truly live.  To sit by the Thin Man and have him laugh with her.  To feel his hand in hers once again, to smile and share her cooking with him.  To introduce him to the Caretaker in hopes of him liking the other as well.  She wants them to get along.  She wants them to live and experience life with a breath of fresh air.

Survival or selfishness?  Which side of her will win out?

Her palm touches the screen as it slowly bursts to life underneath it.  The poor thing has been serving her so well in all these loops, it's amazing it still manages to turn on to this day.  Static makes her hair stand on end as the screen tunes and tunes and tunes itself until-

There he is.

She can't help the soft smile hiding behind her mask as she sees him again.  He's still alive!  Of course the Tower wouldn't let him die that day.  A low hum is made in her throat as opposed to the sob she wants to let out in relief.

He's sitting up straight.  Tired, yes, but he's not hunched over in defeat.  He tilts his head in his curious way, always so curious, as his words greet her.

"Six?  Or shall I call you the Lady now?"

"Whichever you prefer."  It no longer matters, the distinction between the two.  The Caretaker shuffles closer, peering over her shoulder at the screen.  He doesn't say anything as he watches the captions appear at the bottom for him to read.

"And who is this?  I don't think I've ever met him before."  A pause.  "He's new.  How strange."

How nice, goes without being said.  She takes the Caretaker's hand and gently places it on the screen before returning hers next to his.  His shoulders hunch up in surprise as the static dances on his skin.

"This is the Caretaker."  This time it is she who pauses.  "My dear friend."

"A pleasure," the Thin Man greets.  "You may call me the Thin Man."

"The Thin Man," the Caretaker repeats.  "It's, ah, nice to meet you too."  His eyes meet hers under his bangs, looking between the screen to the Lady with a question in his eyes.  She shrugs and turns her attention back to the screen, much to the annoyance of the Caretaker.

"Thin Man," though she really wants to call him by his real name, "what happened that day?  The day you fell."  Why was he so injured?  How did they fail to break out of the loop when they were both ready to do so?  What did the Tower do to him?  What did the previous Thin Man do to him?

"It was something out of my control, as usual."  She watches as he rests his hand on his chest, recalling the moments that led to his capture and fall.  "Something had...  There was something wrong with the Man chasing me that day.  He was more brutal.  More empty.  More... like a doll."  

She tries to recall how the previous Thin Man had captured her.  He had looked at her with eyes not quite there, more closed than anything.  His features weren't lax, nor were they tense.  When she looked up at him, she could have sworn that he looked...

"Dead."  She breathes the word out with a horrified realization.  "Mono, something was wrong with him.  What- what happened to you?"

"He chased after me, but it felt... off.  Instead of simply chasing after me, he would grab things to pull towards himself, the objects colliding into me in the process.  Never would he try to reach for me.  It always seemed as if his goal was to hurt me.  Our final fight... felt wrong."  His head tilts down towards his hands as he stares down at them.  "He bent in all the wrong ways but kept getting back up.  It was like he was forced to keep going.  I...  When I finally ended him, it felt more of a mercy than a victory."  

"Was it... different from what you expected?"

"Yes."  The word rings with an unspoken acknowledgement as they both consider the difference this loop has taken.  "Because of that, I was far more injured than I think any of my past iterations have ever been."  He looks up towards her, and even though his hat hides his eyes with the shadows, she can still feel his gaze searching hers.  "You... were planning on catching me, weren't you?"

She swallows.  "Of course I was."

(A soundless voice echoes in her memories.  "I promised that one day, we would share a meal together."  Even though she struggled to recall it as a child, there was still a small part of her that remembered, a small part of her that clung to that promise.  "Make this the last one," her shadow had said.  Oh, how she wished they could make it the last.)

"I think the Tower knew."  He leans his head back to stare up at the ceiling, gaze away from her.  "I think that's why they took control of my prior iteration and turned him into more of a monster than he was ever meant to be.  Or perhaps, what he was always supposed to be, but could never fully realize.  And because of that, I was injured to the point where I was struggling to keep up."

"If I knew, I would have stopped to take your hand, or helped you along or-"

"I'm glad you didn't," he soothes.  "If you had stayed behind to help me, we both would have fallen to the whims of the Tower."

"Still, there could have been a chance-"  She could have saved him, she could have dragged him to safety, she wouldn't have had to leave him alone in that accursed Tower, she-

The Caretaker gently places his hand over hers and squeezes.  His eyes search for hers, offering a wordless comfort.  He doesn't know exactly the pains that consume her, but he knows her well enough to keep her from suffering on her own.  She nods to him and turns back to the screen where the Thin Man's words wait patiently for her.

"Maybe not in this loop," they read out, "but perhaps in the next."

"I don't want there to be a next loop."  Her shoulders sag as the memories of each loop blend and mix together in a terrible mash of mistakes and intentional actions.  It's time she's admitted that even she grows tired of the monotony of the loops.  "I'm tired of talking to you through a screen.  I'm tired of having to find reasons to justify letting you go when I struggle to do so already.  I'm tired, Mono."

"I know."  Even though he says so, it's barely enough to provide her with the comfort she craves.  "We'll find our ways out of this somehow.  Already, I can see that we've made some headway."  He nods towards the screen, acknowledging the Caretaker's presence before continuing.  "I'm sure the Eyes have figured that out by now.  I think they're getting worried, antsy even, going to such drastic measures to ensure we stay in our roles."  She watches as he folds his hands neatly on his lap, his posture suddenly exuding the confidence she lacks.  "They won't win this time.  Things are changing, Six.  They have been changing, and I refuse to let your hard work go to waste."

"My hard work...?"

"Your hard work."  He sweeps his arms out to gesture to the room he sits in, the room she stands in.  "All of this was done by you, Six.  Not me.  I hardly did anything besides sitting in this chair and talking to you.  You were the one who made the changes, not me."

She blinks slowly, hardly believing a word he says.  "I can hardly say it was hard work to begin with-"

"You're selling yourself short, dear friend."  He pulls out a small hat, a hat that she never recalls giving him, but knows was a gift she once graced him with.  Another memory that's fitted itself nicely into the picture she's forming.  "Little changes can create large ripples of meaning."  He fits the small sailor hat lovingly on one finger, and there's no doubt in her mind that he's smiling.  "You gave me hope again, Six.  Gave me something to cling to so that I could convince myself that there was a reason to continue these repeating cycles.  Showed me that things can change for the better, slowly but surely."  

"They're happening too slowly for my liking."  She huffs, earning a soft chuckle from the Caretaker.  Ah, yes, he's still here, watching their conversation and no doubt being confused by it all.  Still.  He takes it all in stride, a trait she admires him greatly for.  One day, she'll find the time to explain it all to him, once he's ready to understand the weight the knowledge will force him to bear.  At least he has nothing that will hold his memories for him.

Unlike the Lady and the Thin Man.  A curse they have to bear, but one that is proving to become useful the more they exist in this endless cycle of rinse and repeat.

"I will use my patience for the both of us, then."  He tilts his head, angling it more towards the Caretaker than the Lady.  "But that's enough about the loops for now.  Tell me - did you finally grow tired of having only me for company that you got yourself a new best friend?  Perhaps replaced me with someone better?"

"Don't talk like that."  Another childish huff escapes her, and she can see his shoulders shake with laughter from the other side.  "I could never replace you.  But I will never regret the Caretaker's friendship either."

"I'm glad," the words spell out, before he changes his primary focus to the Caretaker instead.  "So what's your real name?"

"What?"  The Caretaker speaks up in surprise, brow furrowed as he comes to grips with this newfound attention on him.

"Your real name."  The Thin Man gestures to himself.  "For instance, my real name is Mono, just as the Lady's real name is Six."

"I'm aware," the Caretaker says with a huff, mimicking the Lady's earlier childishness.  "My name is... RK."

"RK?"  The Thin Man tilts his head to the side.  "Just letters?"

"The Lady's name is a number, and I'm fairly sure your name can count as a number too."

"Touche."  Even with his face obscured, she is sure that the Thin Man is positively delighted with his new conversation partner.  It's nice to see that he never lost his touch of friendliness and curiosity, despite being left to rot at the bottom of the Tower.  "What is it that you do?  Aid Six in her duties?  Cook the food?  Is your cooking better than Six's?"

"You've had Six's cooking before?"  

"No.  I almost had the chance once, but we couldn't get the food past the screen."

"Good," the Caretaker says in a heartbeat.  "Her cooking is awful.  I wouldn't want you to taste it."

"Hey!"  The Lady slaps his shoulder as the Thin Man's shoulders shake merrily with laughter.  

"I guess I narrowly dodged that tragedy."

"You did," the Caretaker nods solemnly, similar to how he nods for the children when they tell him something dramatic.  "While her cooking can be better than the Cooks' dishes, I would rather cook my own food than eat hers."

"You're being obnoxious," the Lady finally says, pulling his hand off the screen.  "Off with you, go care for the children and nomes if you're going to be like this."

"Okay okay!"  He holds his hands up in a peaceful surrender, laughing as she bats him away.  "I'll be off to do my duties then."  He glances back at the screen and gives a little wave to the resident behind it.  "It was a pleasure to meet you, Mono."

The Thin Man straightens at the use of his name, the happiness radiating off of him in waves.  No doubt he already sees the Caretaker as a new friend.  Typical of him.  She can't help but smile fondly at his eagerness.  "Likewise, RK."

They both wave before the Caretaker finally departs from her quarters, leaving the two of them with each other.  Her hands press against the screen as she monopolizes all of the Thin Man's attention.

"My cooking really isn't that bad."

"I believe you, Six."

"He's just upset that I won't eat his meals."

"And why is that?"

She makes a disgusted face, forgetting for a moment about the mask that obscures her expressions.  "He cooks with vegetables and expects me to eat them."

"...You don't like vegetables?"

"I find them revolting."  Just the thought of biting down on a soggy, cooked through vegetable is enough to threaten her gag reflex.  "My diet can survive without the need for vegetables."

"I never took you to be a picky eater."  He pauses slightly, fingers drumming on his leg before he continues with his thoughts.  "So what exactly does he do?"

"He cares for the little creatures on the Maw, mainly the children."  The Caretaker knew the truth of the nomes far before she had the chance to discover what her powers could do to children.  Even though the trust between them is strong, he still goes out of his way to keep them out of the kitchen and away from the plates of the Guests.  She is, after all, the proprietor of the Maw - as much as he cares for her, he cannot guarantee that she will sneak off with a child as a luxury food item (though those days are behind her now.  Even though the memories trickle down like rain dripping through a small leak in the ceiling, it is enough that she can figure out the horrible things her past selves have done).

"A guardian of children."  She wonders what's going through his mind as he thinks out loud for her to read.  "How fitting."

"He's kind, caring.  Protective even."  She doesn't say how he reminds her of the Thin Man when he was younger.  "I think you would like him."

"I think I already do."  He leans forward in his seat as if to whisper a secret into the Lady's ear.  "In fact, I want to believe that he may be the key to finally breaking us out of these loops."

"How?"  The Caretaker doesn’t have any powers.  He’s powerless, normal, nothing more than a human adult.

She pauses in her thoughts.

Nothing more than a human adult.  Someone not tainted by the nightmares that plague their worlds, one not cursed to inherit world-bending and soul-sucking powers, one not completely bound to a role with no way out.

He's nothing short of normal and bland for a human.  But that's more than she can say for anyone else she's come across.  He's untouched.  Purely him.  An oddity among a sea of monsters.

Hope.

"He could be a safe haven.  Or at least, the start of one."  He pauses, almost hesitating before he speaks the next few words.  "But not for our current selves."

"No," she agrees, knowing full well what kind of monsters they've turned into. "Not for us."

"But maybe for our child selves."

"A chance for them to grow up together."

"Without the Tower, without the Maw."

"...Without the Hunger?"

"Hopefully, without the kidnapping."  He seems to curl into himself at the mention of that.  

"...Why did you always kidnap me, Mono?"  It's a question she's always wondered, given how he's always talked about breaking them out of the loop, and yet still perpetuated it with his own actions.

The Thin Man remains quiet as his shoulders hunch forward.  It's not something he's proud of, but it's also something that's plagued her thoughts as she's gone through more and more of the loops with him.

At one point, it was a topic of contention between the two of them.  She vaguely recalls vicious arguments with accusations thrown left and right before the television itself was thrown away to the depths of the Maw.  And then the cycles continued with a different feel to them - one of perpetuating anger and vengeance over the happiness of companionship.  But for whatever reason, an effort was made at reconciliation.  Loops upon loops of the Thin Man managing to find and reach out to her, of her chasing little nomes after they tampered with her things and stumbling upon televisions, and somehow, they managed to make up in their own convoluted way.

Whatever the truth may be, she won't let it break their carefully mended relationship.  She gently taps on the screen, humming a familiar tune that has the Thin Man perk up with guilt.  Still so sorry for destroying her music box, as usual.  She's long since forgiven him for doing so each loop just because she knows why he commits such acts of destruction.

She could forgive him too, for each kidnapping and tearing of herself in two, if he'd just tell her why.  So she practices what he's mastered so well.

She waits.

The Thin Man removes the hat from his head and clutches it tightly in his hands, fidgeting with it as he keeps his gaze away from hers.

She waits.

His shoulders sag with a silent sigh as he places it on his lap.  Another moment passes in collective silence before his words reappear on the screen.  His gaze is still focused on his lap, however, and the Lady chooses not to press that issue.

"I have to."  She remains quiet, not wanting to interrupt him as he finally gives her an answer.  "I found out once, what happens when I don't kidnap you.  Once, in a loop, I chose to leave you be.  I didn't grab you.  Nor did I give chase.  I simply let the two of us go."  

The screen flickers, and a memory plays out for the Lady to see.  Two children, escaping hand in hand from a figure who merely stands in place and lets them be.  They run away into a familiar room as the figure simply walks past them, only teleporting back to the television and stepping back in.  A farce to make them believe he'd gone in a different direction.  The two of them peek out of the room and run off, hand in hand.

They face off the Viewers together.

And they traverse the Pale City together.  

The Signal Tower looms in the distance, but the girl in the yellow raincoat keeps the paper bag clad boy away from it.  Dangerous.  No matter how much he wishes to investigate, she will never allow him to go near it.

The girl doesn't suffer from the Hunger.  Nor does she have a Shadow standing off in the distance, watching her every move.  They don't end up at the Maw - there's no reason to go to the Maw.  It's another place filled to the brim with adults.  The flyers go ignored and-

The girl dies.  She slips from a rooftop they traverse and dies from the fall.  The boy screams, holding his head as he sobs.

And then the footage cuts to a memory of two children running away from a room.  The figure is nowhere to be seen.  They avoid the Tower.  They avoid rooftops.  They still do not go to the Maw - the offer of food still stands, but there's no need to go to the Maw when there's still scraps to be found here and there.

The girl dies.  She takes a bite out of some food, only to find that it had long since been poisoned for rats when they were still considered a problem.  The boy cradles her in his arms and sobs, brokenhearted and alone.

And then the footage cuts to a memory of two children running away from a room.  The Tower is ignored.  The rooftops left forgotten.  The boy takes it upon himself to taste test every morsel before handing it to the girl.  It doesn't matter.  A Viewer finds them both and makes to grab them.  

The girl dies.  The boy follows her soon after, too defeated to fight back when the Viewer grabs him as well.

Two children running from a room.  They don't go to the Maw because there's no need to.  But they try to escape the city, again and again.  Each time ends in her death, and a boy is left behind as he wallows in despair. 

Two children.  Running away.  The boy takes them to the Signal Tower.  She can't stop him.  They enter and traverse it.  He finds and fights the Thin Man.  The girl survives.  There's hope, for a brief moment, there's hope.  They run as the Tower collapses around them.  They almost reach the exit when-

The girl dies.  Crushed under the debris of the Tower.  The boy falls to his knees and lets the Tower take him.

The narrative changes after that.  The Thin Man comes out and gives chase, but instead of taking the girl, he takes the boy.  His being isn't torn in half like hers, so she's left with no Shadow to guide her through the city.  She traverses it alone, making her way to the tower.  But she has no powers to fight the tower with.  She has no powers to fight the Thin Man with.  But the Thin Man lets her in, lets her try and find the boy.

She finds him, twisted up and monstrous but still her dear friend.  They escape and fight the Thin Man together.  The Man is killed, and her friend is turned back to normal.  They run towards the exit, thinking that this will be last until-

The boy trips.  She turns back too late, and debris falls between them.  The Tower laughs at her distress and shoves her out the exit.  She's left alone, her efforts futile as the Tower claims him for its own.  The girl screams and slams her fists against the television, but she doesn't go to the Maw.  There's no need to, not when her friend still needs her.  She tries and tries and tries but-

The girl dies.  Dies in her attempts to free him.  It’s the electricity this time, her tiny body unable to withstand the shocks as she steps into her own trap for a bumbling Viewer to stumble into.

The events repeat with little change.  The boy gets kidnapped.  She goes and finds him.  They escape up until a certain point, in which the Tower claims him again.  She gets cut loose and dies in her attempts in trying to get him back.

And then the loops return to normal with a twist.  The Thin Man kidnaps her, tears her in half.  She pauses as she dangles him over the abyss.  Considers and reconsiders.  She pulls him up after her slight pause, and the two of them take a moment to breathe when-

The ledge crumbles beneath him.  She lunges forward but is too late.  The girl screams, seconds too late, seconds wasted.  They could have escaped, they could have escaped.  Her failure crushes her, and she can't force herself to continue after letting down yet another friend. 

The end begins, and she catches the boy once more.  Instead of hesitating, she pulls him up immediately.  It doesn’t matter.  The Tower doesn’t let her win.  The ledge crumbles before he makes it a foot forward, and he falls into the abyss.  He lets go, and she’s left behind as she watches him fall.

Again and again, she’s foiled over and over as a reminder that she will never get her way.  Sometimes the Tower injures her, debris crashing into her shoulder to force her to let go.  Sometimes the Tower injures him and she screams as he slips from her grasp, unconscious after the debris collides with his head.  And sometimes… sometimes…

The screen distorts, unable to play the memories.  

The loops begin again.  The girl in yellow plays by the script given to her.  She drops the boy after he rescues her of her own "free" will and is spat out by the Tower.  The Hunger plants itself into her being and forces her to find food.  A poster is brought to her attention, and the scenes play out as scripted once again.

She has a reason to go to the Maw, where she grows up.  Survives.  Gains powers.  Like how the Tower is vital to the boy's story, the Maw is vital to hers.  The screen flickers as she stares blankly at it.

How could she not remember those memories?  Was it because she died all those countless times?  Was it because-

Her Shadow fidgets in her chest, and suddenly, she understands.

The pile of ground up shards.  Memories that were not to be viewed ever again.  Memories filled with failure, of being given every opportunity to break out of the loops only to end with her death or his capture, and of them never progressing any further than they were allowed.  Bitter, painful memories of them being torn apart over and over again in the worst ways possible.  Hopeless, despairing memories that would have convinced her to never continue ever again.  

Futile efforts leading to the same results.  

"You needed a reason to continue on.  A reason to go to the Maw.  A reason to move on without me."  The words reappear on the screen as she curls her fingers over the screen.  "But you wouldn't go without an incentive.  Your glitching remains were that incentive.  Your Hunger was your incentive.  That... need to feel whole again was the only reason you'd ever venture to the Maw out of sheer need.  If I didn't tear you in half, then you'd always feel whole.  There would be no need for the Maw, because you would try and survive in the City, or in another place without considering it as an option.  And we both saw how well that turned out."

She remains quiet, letting the newly found memories percolate in her mind.  So that was his reasoning for kidnapping her all those many times.  Kidnapping her when he really didn't want to.

(Much like how she kept dropping him, even when she didn't want to.  How she needed a reason to drop him.  How he always pressed for a reason.  Because she can't continue performing the same acts without a reason, right?  Was that why he kept asking?  And now she's finally run out of reasons to give him.)

How are they supposed to escape the loops when death awaits them if they fail to submit to their roles?

"I suddenly think that having the Caretaker around won't be the solution we think he may be."

"I oppose that notion."  The Thin Man straightens up, hat returning to his head as if he had not just been reliving the worst moments of his looping life.  "The difference between now and then is that back then we only had each other.  But now, there's someone else.  Someone who can help."

"But how?"

"Like I said- a safe haven.  He's the Caretaker.  He doesn't belong to any place or domain.  He's simply who he is.  Even if it means that he just sets up something elsewhere, away from the City or the Maw, somewhere out of reach of the Eyes, we'd all have a fighting chance at surviving outside of these nightmares."

"But how would he even accomplish that?"  Doubt buries itself in her mind after having seen all those forgotten memories.  "Am I to just dump him somewhere and hope for the best?"

"No."  She waits, knowing him better than that.  "...Yes?"

"How, Mono."  The more they discuss this, the more hopeless the idea seems.  "I don't want to abandon him and leave him to fend off some- some monster by himself!"

"He won't be alone.  Let him take a television with him.  I'll be there for him."  

She highly doubts that will work.

"I... don't know."

"It's all we have left to work with.  Trust him."  

"But how will he know where to go?  Who would-"  A memory strikes her.  A monster, a strange monster, who had taken her to the Maw.  A monster who the other children she'd once met would tell her about.

The Ferryman.

A monster who wasn't quite a monster.  He seemed to care for the children, strangely protecting them from the other forces in this nightmarish world and dropping them off in places he believed would suit them best, if the stories those children once told her were to be believed.  The Ferryman was the one who would drop her and every other child off each time at the Maw.  Perhaps... perhaps he could help.

Maybe.

"There... may be one other who could help."  Her words come out tentatively.  She's only ever seen him once per loop, but how else are children getting onto the Maw?  He must still be around somewhere, perhaps even existing outside of the loops.  And maybe... maybe the Caretaker has met him once or twice.  Or maybe has heard of him from the children.

Maybe it's not so terrible a plan after all.

"Mono," she begins, "have you heard of the Ferryman?"

They spend the rest of the conversation deep in thought, carefully figuring out each detail of their hastily made plan and counting for the fact that it may need to build over a few more loops.  One of the many details they need to figure is how the Caretaker fits into all of this.  There's no telling how the Caretaker may be affected by the loops - will he persist when they die?  Or is his fate to be smothered by the loops like they often are?  She hopes they can figure it out before it’s too late.

Unluckily enough, the nightmare they live in forces an answer into her hands.  Nothing seems to take to their resistance kindly, since after they explain and divulge and include the Caretaker into their plan, after he agrees to it with just as much eagerness and hope as she'd hoped he would, the Maw makes its own move.

One day, as she was making her usual rounds, the ship careens itself into a sea stack - the rock formation itself doesn't last against the hull, but the collision jolts and shakes the Maw enough that the Lady has herself clinging to the railing to keep herself upright.

And that's when she hears it.

A sharp scream that passes by her ears as a blue blur falls past where she stands.  

No.

Please, no.

Her feet rush her down to the bottom floor, gracefulness be damned as she searches for her dear, precious friend.  When she finds him, he lies broken in a puddle of his own blood, eyes wide and unseeing as blood dribbles from the corner of his mouth.  She looks up to where railings lower to better match the hunched over forms of the Guests by the rooms, and it doesn't take much for her to put two-and-two together.

She takes his body and tears it apart in tears, forcing it all into a makeshift wooden box and burning it in the ship's engine room.  What remains of his body is grounded into a fine, ashy powder that she stores away in a decorative vase, hidden away in a secret room for her to mourn in peace.  But even then, fate doesn't give her a chance to mourn.

The loop ends in a bitter struggle and hopeless tears, forgotten blood left to stain wooden floors.

[adifferenttime]

Honest Hearts: A Rough Rewrite

Hey! I’ve been working on an Honest Hearts rewrite-type-thing for a bit and figured I’d solicit feedback/assemble a post to store some of these ideas.

A detailed explanation of the premise is under the cut, but I’ve made this as a more interesting reintroduction to major locations, along with the characters who live there. I also have some lore consisting of letters, scripture, and holotapes that’s still in the early stages, along with a complete companion wheel for Salt-Upon-Wounds (he’ll follow you around for a little if you decide to help him out). Endings are now finished as well. I’m not planning on expanding this into a full mod, but I’m assembling everything in Twine so I can utilize branching dialogue and mimic skill checks.

I want to keep adding to and editing this because I’m having fun with it, so if you have any input, let me know!

Essentially, the story proceeds as written up until the point where Daniel sends you to either kill the White Legs or destroy their war totems. You quickly realize that their camp is deserted, at which point Salt-Upon-Wounds ambushes you, convo-locks you, and tells you that there’s an entirely different side to things here that you might not have considered.

Factions

The Mormons have established a theocracy in the Utah called Deseret, with New Jerusalem - what was once Salt Lake City - as its capital. Large numbers of them survived the initial apocalypse due to their pre-War focus on strong community ties and disaster prepping; over time, they have returned to the model of self-sufficient agrarianism that characterized the historical Mormon state of Deseret that existed in Utah in the 1800s. Their President, who wields supreme executive power, is also their Prophet. The Mormons believe he communes directly with God, but there’s some discontent in New Jerusalem over his hands-off approach to foreign policy and unwillingness to assemble a standing army. The Elders of the Priesthood are pushing him to allow for some kind of formal military to oppose what they see as revived versions of their ancestral enemies: America, Rome, and the “Lamanites” (this is what Mormons call Indigenous Americans; the “Lamanite” idea has historically been used as a justification for racism, and I’m reflecting that here because it’d be kind of heinous not to). In more than a few respects, Deseret serves as a mirror to the Legion and an exploration of the other side of the coin re: the tactics utilized by colonial empires to present themselves as legitimate while still claiming territory and steamrolling the opposition.

The White Legs are now more explicitly Shoshone, and I’m relying most heavily on the Timpanagos Band for names and historical inspiration (apparently the question of whether they’re Ute or Shoshone is pretty controversial, but I’m sticking with what the Timpanagos have said about it until someone corrects me). After migrating south in the wake of the Great War, the White Legs eventually settled in Ogden, about a day north of New Jerusalem. Initial interactions with the Mormons were friendly, but as New Jerusalem grew and its need for farmland and resources increased, tensions rose before culminating in open violence in around ‘76 or ‘77. Deseret’s party line is that the White Legs conducted a “raid” on one of their settlements and had to be driven away from Ogden; the White Legs claim the violence was not a raid, but a revenge killing after a Mormon killed a young man and was found not guilty by Mormon legal authorities (this is a theocracy, so “legal authorities” here can be understood as indistinct from “the church”). The Mormons established a new settlement on the ruins of Ogden, which they called New Canaan, and the White Legs fled to Salt Lake, where they have been dwindling in number ever since. Salt-Upon-Wounds’ plan to seek entry to the Legion is a last-ditch attempt to save his people from eradication when their neighbors and the land itself seems intent on killing them (not that that makes all the war crimes ok, which is a sentiment you’ll be able to express to his face if you engage him in conversation).

The Dead Horses are a pastoral society from out of Dead Horse Point, and are split almost down the middle along political lines. The more conservative, religious side opposes intervention in Zion. Graham desecrates the corpses of his enemies as an intimidation tactic, and because the Dead Horses’ religion is so eschatological and heavily focused on properly cleaning, preparing, and interring the dead, a big chunk of the religious leadership opposes him on that basis - they think his tactics are ungodly. They’re also worried that any Dead Horses who die in Zion and are interred there will be severed from their connection to Dead Horse Point and doomed to a separate, lonely afterlife. The younger, more progressive elements of the tribe are less traditionalist, sometimes less religious, and overall not as concerned about Graham’s treatment of the dead because of the potential benefit they might be able to derive from him. Follows-Chalk is their de facto leader, and while the Dead Horses don’t formally allocate political power, he’s among the most influential people in the informal tribal leadership. Most of the Dead Horses who’ve come to Zion have done so either because they support Follows-Chalk politically, or for practical reasons - namely, Graham’s access to a dizzying number of guns and his willingness to give them to anyone who’ll fight for him.

The Sorrows are now a terrace-farming agrarian society instead of hunter-gatherers (Zion has a lot of agricultural potential, and there’s already a few farming plots in the Sorrows camp you see in-game, so it’s not a huge departure from the canon). I’m keeping their Mexican heritage, but I’d like to give them some Ainu influences as well - partially for selfish reasons, but also because bears are extremely important to our culture and theology, which gels well with the elements of Sorrows culture and religion that appear in the canon. I’d like to keep the Survivalist because I like him, but I want to expand on their faith. One of the ways I’m doing that is by deciding they can still read English, even though they no longer speak it; it’s basically their equivalent of liturgical Latin. They’re also rigidly matriarchal and in contrast to the Dead Horses (who eschew formal political hierarchies) or the White Legs (who elect a chief who serves until he dies, is deposed, or voluntarily abdicates), leadership positions are allocated through matrilineal primogeniture; Waking Cloud inherited her position from her mother. Religious leadership, likewise, is only available to women. You’ll be able to talk to Waking Cloud about some of the ways this framework is incompatible with the Mormon perspective, and can appeal to her desire to retain power.

Characters

Canon Characters

Joshua Graham and Daniel are largely unaltered except through the addition of lore that gives insight into their cultures, motives, and pasts.

All three tribal leaders (Follows-Chalk, Waking Cloud, and Salt-Upon-Wounds) are either given new backstories, a different set of motives, or different approaches to one another/Graham and Daniel. They’re also explicitly leaders now - what power Graham and Daniel have, they derive from whichever tribal leader they’ve managed to attach themselves to. Of those three, I’m altering Waking Cloud the least and Salt-Upon-Wounds the most. Like I mentioned, I have a companion wheel for him so far and the bones of two other conversations - one, where you meet him for the first time, and the second, where you speak to him before the final battle. Will link as I finish them.

Original Characters

Each tribal leader now has a rival or right hand within their tribe so I can reflect the different ways the values of a specific community can express themselves.

Follows-Chalk’s primary rival among the Dead Horses is a man who refuses to tell you his name. That’s because using someone’s name in casual conversation is considered unspeakably rude, and the fact that Follows-Chalk is willing to share his own with you is, to Mysteriously Named Old Man Character, yet another sign of how disrespectful and laissez-faire Follows-Chalk is about their shared traditions. Old Man Character is suspicious of you initially, but if you speak to him more he starts to warm to you. The goal is to give you a sense that this he’s pretty xenophobic but for good reasons, and despite his political conflicts with Follows-Chalk, has a lot of love for him. He just wants what’s best for his family, and Follows-Chalk is part of that, even if Mysteriously Named Old Man Character thinks he’s making the wrong choices.

Kiiki is Salt-Upon-Wounds’ right-hand woman and intended as a contrast re: the approach to war and its costs. Salt-Upon-Wounds has done some horrible things and gets a fair bit of dialogue about that, but Kiiki is willing to go even further than he has with very little prompting. Her chief copes with what he’s done by trying to assure himself that the ends of war are worth the cost; Kiiki deals with it by trying to convince herself that the means weren't so bad, actually, and that anyone who isn’t nailing corpses to walls is being naive. All of that makes her sound pretty shitty, but she’s nowhere near as devoted to the idea of a Legion alliance as Salt-Upon-Wounds is. It only takes one very low Speech check to convince her that going Legion is a bad move, and one of the paths involves assassinating Salt-Upon-Wounds and installing her as the new leader as a way to stop the White Legs from joining Caesar. I haven’t added this path to the ending Twine because I’d like to finish Kiiki’s dialogues before I do that.

I’m replacing White Bird as the Sorrow’s spiritual leader with a woman named Imekanu. She’s incredibly old, savvy, and knowledgeable - she’s never been outside Zion, but has a store of books in English, Spanish, and Japanese that have allowed her some insight into what caused the war, if not the current state of the world. She’s also aware of the Survivalist’s origins - not because she’s entered any of his hideouts, but because she’s read over the scriptures and has correctly identified them as letters. Her perspective is that the Father in the Caves was a human being, but that doesn’t diminish his religious value. She sees him as analogous to the Buddha or a Catholic saint: human, sure, but still with access to some deeper truths about the purpose of man and the nature of human goodness. You’ll discover that this idea (that the Survivalist was a holy man rather than a literal god) is the most common perspective among the Sorrows, and you can talk to her about how this departs from Daniel’s perspective that the archetypal Father is divine, not human.

Quests

Each tribe has a specific quest that will either lower or bypass some of the penultimate checks that will determine your ending (people are more likely to believe what you’re telling them if you’ve already won their trust).

The Dead Horses: Joshua Graham has been putting the heads of the fallen up on pikes across Zion. The Dead Horses’ religion is deeply concerned with proper treatment of the deceased, and Graham’s decision to desecrate the corpses of his enemies goes against virtually everything they believe. The old man who won’t tell you his name asks you to take the heads off of the pikes and bury them deep in Zion, and to bring Follows-Chalk with you so you’ll have someone to tell you how to treat them properly. Over the course of the quest, Follows-Chalk will share some of his own beliefs about death, and you’ll have the opportunity to share your own. If you complete this quest without sabotaging it, Follows-Chalk will be willing to betray Graham to the White Legs before the final battle.

The Sorrows: This is basically just Ghost of She, but after defeating the Yao Guai you’ll discover a holotape revealing that the girl wasn’t killed by the bear, but by one of the murderers from Vault 22. Waking Cloud will speculate that maybe the Yao Guai wasn’t the ghost of the little girl at all but some other force that wanted to push you to discover the truth. If you wait until the end to tell Waking Cloud about the death of her husband, you’ll have to pass a Speech check of 75 to convince her you’re telling her the truth; completing this quest drops the check to 50.

The White Legs: Salt-Upon-Wounds will ask you to help him sabotage the Mormons’ preparations for the battle. If you help him with this, it’ll drop the Speech check for you to convince him to leave from 100 to 80. It’s not necessary at all to get the tribal confederacy ending, but a new note will appear in your inventory if you finish it and meet a couple other requirements (asking him certain questions, not attempting that one Speech check about religion, etc).

Endings

I’m trying to incorporate as much variety as possible, but there are three main ending paths: siding with the White Legs, siding with the other two tribes, and peace. The basic idea is that the outcome is predicated less on your direct intervention, and more on how other people act based on the facts they have available to them. Most of your influence is through your choices to hide or reveal key pieces of information, and the skill checks you need to access certain endings are less you convincing a character to do something and more convincing a character to believe you’re telling them the truth. There’s one major exception to this, it requires maxed Speech, and the ending it gives you is markedly bittersweet because you’re trying to get a guy to act against his own best interest. I’m writing all the endings up here, and will probably edit them as things change. The post where I explain them in more depth can be found here.

And that’s the story so far! Thank you for reading, and again: if there’s anything here you think is poorly-conceived, let me know. Thank you to @baelpenrose, who’s a grad student in the history of the American West, for helping me workshop a lot of this stuff. If you’ve got expert knowledge on any of the concepts I touch on or are personally a member of any of the groups I’m describing, please feel free to hmu: anon is on, and you’re always welcome to DM me. I’m just doing this for fun, but I still want it to be as not-shit as possible.

[fangirlincorporated-blog]

The Lucky Australian

~~ 19 Alive ~~

I wanted everything I never had

Like the love that comes with light

I wore envy and I hated that

But I survived

I had a one-way ticket to a place where all the demons go

Where the wind don't change

And nothing in the ground can ever grow

No hope, just lies

And you're taught to cry into your pillow

But I survived

 They remained under the air con waiting for he heat to pass, Aurora turning on her playstation to game with Henry. Henry noticed she much preferred survivalist horror, he watched her play a bit of dying light before Henry took over.

“It would make a great TV show” Aurora remarked, watching Henry try and escape a group of volatiles during a night mission, he had to admit, his heart rate and adrenalin were up, his hairs were standing to attention all over his body, it was unsettling and scary, but so addictive.

“I have to say, I didn’t really get too much time to get into it, but this is incredible, it’s not easy”

Aurora snorted. “That’s coz I play on nightmare mode”

Henry stole a glance at her.

“That’s hardcore”

Aurora beamed at him.

After a while, Henry noticed Aurora had fallen asleep next to him, her hands curled up underneath her face. Something caught his attention, pausing the game he looked at her arms.

There were white scars littered on them, some thin, some large. They were precise. Henry knew what they were.

He put the controller on the coffee table and hung his head. He felt so drawn out, so ripped from his skin, so weary down to his bones, so sad. All this he felt for her.

How unfair could life be to a person that only seemed to be a light in the darkness, how was she supposed to endure so much death and heartache and still consistently wake up in the fucking morning?

Henry felt the wetness of tears on his face. The burden of life seems so heavy for some, so light for others.

The never ending, continuous stream of emotion, was the pain his heart was feeling for her, as if it could simply reach out to her and out her all back together. For everything she endured, she was stronger than anyone he knew, but life shouldn’t have to throw that shit at you to make you strong. It shouldn’t have you drag you to a place where the demons go to build character. It shouldn’t have happened like that for her.

So why did it?

He cried for her. Her pain, her heartache, for everything she had been through. He cried because in the short time he knew her, he knew she deserved so much more than what life had given her. Yet, she was still here, she was still alive, still breathing, still waking in the morning next to him. Aurora had issues with her existence, she had not been fond of life, but henry was glad she was a living being.

Henry felt pickles nudge her furry little face under his hands. She looked up at him with her endless brown eyes. He smiled down sadly at her and gave her a scratch behind the ears.

“Its been a big day fluffy butt!” Slowly, he raised himself up off the couch and walked to the bathroom. Washing his face, he looked at his reflection in the mirror.

The women he had dated had been easier, this was all new territory, but somehow, he wasn’t shying away from her, from this. Henry knew he loved her, he knew she was all he needed and wanted. Still it didn’t take the sting out of the day.

He walked back into the lounge room to find Aurora waking up. She looked at the spot where Henry had been, confusion plastered on her still sleepy features. Hearing his footsteps she peered up at him and smiled. Holding out her arms, Henry all but ran into them.

He held her for a few minutes before she parted from him.

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m ok, it’s just an intense game. Went to wash my face”

Aurora stared at him, she knew he was lying but she didn’t push it.

“Well, since its 3pm, most of the out of towners would’ve gone home by now, wanna go for a swim? Then we can get a drink at the beach bar? Maybe dinner out?”

“That’s sounds nice. Although you have promised to make me some Italian food!”

Aurora rolled her eyes, a smirk on her face.

“I did, so let’s go to the beach, then I’ll make dinner!” she bounded off the lounge, going to the bedroom, Henry following her.

~~~~~~~~

October rolled into November, with December fast approaching. Henry had spent the whole month getting to know the area Aurora lived in, while she was at work. She had taken him hiking in the Blue Mountains many times, he was still amazed at the travel Australians undertook all the time. A 4-hour round-trip barely tiring her out as well as hiking, meanwhile Henry would be wiped out from the whole day. His favourite days though, were the ones he got to spend at the beach, or even just wandering around the place she lived, day drinking at a few different pubs, watching the ships roll in past the horizon. Or simply enjoying wherever she took him for lunch and dinner. He particularly enjoyed the day she took him to Sydney to Bennelong. Aurora had waxed lyrical about how amazing it was, and it did not disappoint. He had to admit; he was very rarely surprised by anything, now he understood why she had told him to dress up, the restaurant was in the Sydney opera house, with a view looking out at the harbour bridge. It was fucking spectacular. Henry had tried to pay once he figured out it was a fine dining establishment. Aurora has shut that idea down quite fast, given he had taken her out in Venice; this was the least she could do. It was quite sweet. They spent the night in Sydney, Henry had stayed at a few hotels in his travels, but Aurora had pulled out all the stops when he entered the room. The room overlooked the entire Sydney Harbour. It stopped him in his tracks, rendering him breathless. Henry spent that night making sure Aurora knew how much he loved her.

~~~~~~~~

Henry found himself sitting in Aurora’s office, answering mundane emails and going over scripts he had been sent, he could hear Aurora in the other room singing along to crowded house, a new favourite of his she had introduced him too. There was so much he had learnt about Aurora, her favourite band, her favourite games, her favourite sports teams (of which he now followed by default and she had promised to take him to a game come the start of the season), pet hates, favourite ice cream. He came to really love Australia; it was going to be hard to leave. Everything he loved was here.

Suddenly, a video call came through. Noticing it was Charlie, he picked up.

“Are we getting you back to the northern hemisphere?” Charlie asked.

“Fuck no, not when you look as cold as you do! Canada in the minus yet?”

“Unfortunately. More snow too, so how is the land down under?”

“Fucking glorious, it’s so hot, but I love it! Air conditioning is the most amazing thing ever invented.”

Charlie rolled his eyes “you make it sound like it’s the worlds greatest invention you’ve never heard of. You have that in England, and in Florida. You know the other place you also live?”

“It’s not as good in England. I know, but here it’s just on all the time. I really love it here; I’m only a 5minute walk to the beach. We sat a pub the other day watching ships come in, that has to be my new favourite hobby” Henry smiled

“Wow, and here I thought it was hammertime”

“War hammer Charlie!”

“Same, same. Since I haven’t spoken to you much in a month, did you end up finding out what happened with Aurora’s last relationship? I know you were worried.”

“Charlie, hold on.” Henry got up to close the door. He sat back down and told Charlie everything that had happened.

 Henry lost track of the time he and Charlie had been talking. It was nice to be able to talk to one of his brothers. He hadn’t realised how heavy things had weighed on his heart, Charlie listening to him lessened the burden. Another call came in, from his manager.

“Charlie, I gotta go, Dany is calling”

“As long as you’re ok?”

“I am Charlie, I do really love her.” He watched Charlie smile. Saying their goodbyes, he answered Dany.

“Henry, I have an invitation to the Oscars, can you be stateside in Feb?”

“Sure. Add a plus one for me?”

Dany perked up at that

“So its serious with the girlfriend? I have to say; I’ve only seen a few photos of you in Europe with her, and one of you in Sydney. I didn’t know she was Australian. How have you stayed away from the paps for so long?”

“She lives near the beach, it’s a beautiful little place, nice area, I don’t think they give a shit really, plus its almost 2 hours from Sydney, no paps will travel that far.”

Dany nodded.

“Is she prepared for what’s about to happen?”

“She’s already explained things to me for when that does happen, which I need to talk to you about next time I see you. I will do my best to help her through everything, she might not even agree to the Oscars” Henry sat back and folded his arms.

“Why? Would she be uncomfortable? Does she not have a dress?”

Henry’s eyes snapped to her closet.

“I think she has a dress, ill get back to you.”

“Alright, speak soon”

Henry hung up the call, and stood up, rolling his shoulders and stretching out his body, he walked out of the room.

[kujirara]

Adventure Log 1:

Ancient Forest, part 1

“We’ve been walking for HOOUURS can’t we sit down and rest for a minute?” Eri, the Dark Hunter, yells, while stretching her arms.

“It’s barely been 10 minutes…”

“Do not let your guard down, Eri. The creatures here are stronger than you could think.” Anastacia warns her.

“Come on, we’re on the first floor. There is nothing that dangerous over… ACK!”

Eri suddenly turns around and swings her whip, but the only thing she hits is a tree. The creature that attacked her – A red mole with amazing claws – craved its nails in her back and is holding into it, in a way where it moves when she moves.

“Eri, stay quiet for a second.” Helena, the Alchemist, says in a disturbingly calm tone. “I need you not to move.”

Suddenly, the Dark Hunter feels an intense power hitting her, something way stronger than anything the Mole could have done, and feels the heat of the blood - and the flames - hitting her back right before falling on the muddy ground pain.

“HELENA, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?” Apollo, the Troubadour, yells in anger.

“It worked, didn’t it? The mole is dead.” Helena quickly approaches Eri, thrown in the ground and barely conscious. “I’ll pass the medicine on your back now, okay? You know how much it burns… Eh, I don’t think you’re listening anyways.”

“Now what? Do we call Sylvia?” Lilo asks.

“No need, Sylvia was the one to give me this medicine anyways. She promised it would heal basically any damage a monster this low level could cause. She’ll get up in a minute, I’m sure.”

“But this burn was not caused by a monster…”

“Honestly, she has been hit by me so many times during our training, I don’t think she even feels it anymore.”

“This… Are you aware that this does not make it any better, correct?” Anastacia says, with genuine concern in her voice – a rare thing for her.

“Eh, it will be okay. I think she is into that, actually.”

“Huh…”

And so, the time passed.

-

“Another dead end, how exciting…” Eri says, ironically. “I hope you are marking all this in the map, Lilo.”

“I am! Don’t worry about it”, Lilo, the Survivalist, innocently answers. Eri rolls her eyes.

“Hey, what’s that?” Apollo suddenly points to the top of the tree at the dead end. “There is something tangled in the tree. Doesn’t look like a normal vine…”

“It’s a whip.” Anastacia, the Princess from a faraway land, says in a serious and imposing voice, as she is used to when giving orders. “Lilo. Get it.”

“Of course, Miss…” Lilo quickly but carefully goes up the tree. Despite her constant passivity towards everything, she is skilled in her areas. “This looks really old, are you sure you want to pick it up?”

“Yes. Someone must have lost it, and it is our duty to give it back.”

“I understand…” she then proceeds to untangle the whip from the branch, something a normal person would take a long time due to the complexity of the nods, she can finish in just a couple minutes.

--

On the way back to the entrance of the labyrinth, after carefully avoiding the giant deer, Lilo suddenly stops in a crossroad.

“What’s wrong?”

“This path… we didn’t map it.”

“Oh for fucks sake, then map it!” Eri yells, then starts walking towards the unmapped room. “See. There is a chest here that we missed. Your fault.”

“Hey, come on, stop being mean with her. None of us noticed the path, it’s not only her fault.” Apollo, the Troubadour comments.

“She is the survivalist here. Noticing paths and marking them down is her only role. And she failed to fulfill it. Yes, it was her fault.” Anastacia says in a surprisingly imposing tone. “We are lucky it was not a big deal this time. Pay more attention.”

Helena rolls her eyes.  “What even is in the chest?”

“It was Nectar. Those items are rare around here; we almost lost something very precious. Because of you.”

Lilo says nothing; she only lowers her head and puts down a chest marker on the map.

---

After completing the map fo the first floor and reporting to the Duke, the Graveyard guild moved on to the second floor.

"Attempt at an ambush, behind Eri." Lilo says casually, while preparing her bow. The second the Venomflies pop out of the woods, attempting to spread their venomous powder, a combo attack - Flank Shot quickly followed by a Volt Fomula - Eliminated half of them. A swing of Eri's whip was just enough to deal with the rest.

The battles were getting easier to manage. The explorers were starting to let their guard down.

"So, what did you think of those Dinos back there?", Apollo asks.

"They are stupid. Very big and scary at first glance, sure, but they can't see anything a palm in front of them. I bet we can set them on fire easily." Helena says.

"No, I don't think we can... they might be easy to dodge, but if they catch us I bet we're done for good."

Lilo gestures to the rest of the group. "Hey, guys, I found a shortcut over here, I think it takes us back to the entrance."

"Perfect." walks towards the small open space inbetween the trees. "Good job, Lilo. We can head back now."

"Anastacia, you should see this over here." The voice of Eri is heard a little far away, from her back. Anastacia sighs and turns around.

"What is that, a sunflower? What is so surprising about a flower?"

"It... It's a monster!" Lilo suddenly yells. "What are you doing so close to it?"

"Hey, come on. It's just a flower. What bad could it do?"

Suddenly the creature moves, as if pointing its head - its flower - to the party's direction. And another flower, that until this moment was hiden in between the trees, appears, doing the same movement.

"Guys, this might be dangerous, we should flee. Now."

"Retreat." The Princess orders. Apollo and Helena, with this order, turn and move towards the shortcut, but not Eri. Eri refuses to move.

"Come on, are we really gonna flee from flowers?" she says, taking out her whip. She is confident. She does not believe this fight can be lost.

The sunflowers shoot their Solar Flames: a burst of energy coming from the center of the flower. The first flower, the one closes to Eri, would hit her straight on the chest. She would not survive such a powerful shot, that close.

"Get down!" Anastacia yells, as she throws her body in Eri. Eri falls to the side, but Anastacia is hit directly by the beam.

Eri's eyes widen in horror the moment she realizes what she has done. She picks up the fallen princess, and turns her eyes to the shortcut behind them. Before she can move, or say anything, arrows pass trough her. Multiple arrows, about 8 of them, hit the flowers, one after another, in a burst of power. All the flowers, dead in an instant.

"Eri, what the fuck? COME QUICK!" Helena yells. Eri gets up and runs towards the exit, still carrying Anastacia in her arms.

----

Anastacia is laying on the ground. She has a bed in her room, but she does not wants to use it. Not now.

A knocking sound. Someone is at the door. Anastacia does not wants to answer it.

"Excuse me... I'm getting in, in case you're undressed." It is Eri. "Hey, how are you? Physically, I mean. The nectar worked well?"

"Yes, I am alive." Anastacia answers, without really looking at the door. Her eyes are completely fixed in a singular point in front of her.

Eri sits in front of her. "Hey, I just wanted to let you know, I understand."

"What?"

"I understand. I understand what you are going trough now. Dying is a traumatic experience. I have died before."

"..."

"I used to drink Nectar as a recreational drug. It is a really strong medicine, despite the sweetness, and drinking it when you don't need it can fuck up with your mind. Dying hurts physically, and reviving hurts mentally."

"..."

"...I'm thankful that we found that Nectar. I wouldn't want you to die. You are one of the few cool people in this guild."

"...thank you for using it on me."

"Of course. Just wanted to let you know that I am here for you in case you need it. It's hard to bear psychological damage by yourself, I'd know it."

Anastacia answers with a nod.

"Ok... Well, I'll let you rest now. The Duke called us specifically. Tomorrow we are going there. Hope you can still keep going."

"I can. Don not worry about me."

Eri nods, and smiles. And this was the end of Graveyard Guild's first day of adventuring.

Etrian Odyssey 2 Untold: The Nuzlocke

This is my first time trying a EO Challange Run. I kinda just wanna see how long it will last, and document my journey.

Ruleset:

Game will be played on Expert Difficulty, Classic Mode.

Only 1 character of each class will be created at the start of the game.

All character’s levels must be kept below the cap for each stratum.

The level cap for each stratum 3x the last floor of the stratum. (15 for 1st stratum, 30 for 2nd, etc).

Once a character dies in combat, they must be released from the guild; if the whole party is defeated/a game over is reached, all 5 characters must be released. Ressucitate, Revive and other revival skills are not allowed.

All characters get a second “life” after a game over during a boss battle, only once per boss per character.

Floor jump not allowed. Ariadne Thread is allowed.

May only reassign SP after defeating a Stratum Boss.

Grimoires are allowed.

Medica, Amrita and other healing itens are allowed.

BUYING Nectar is not allowed. Using it is.

The Plan

For exploration, a Survivalist is a must have. With a ruleset like this, surprise attacks could and will be fatal. Risk Perception and Stalker are needed as fast as possible. Keeping a Protector with Flee could also be useful for random encounters, especially early on, tho both of those can be taken out with Grimoires later.

For the first stratum boss, the plan is simple: Dark Hunter for Leg Bind, Troubador for Flame Fantasia, Alchemist for Ice damage, and Sovereign for Elemental Link and buffs. The last slot would be Survivalist, probably.

Of course all of this is insanely RNG-dependant, and the rules might be bent to better suit my own playstyle, but those are the rules I'm going to plan around. Wish me luck lol

[aspoonofsugar]

I find it tragic that Cinder and Winter grew up with a controlling and abusive parent figure (Madame and Jacques) and escaped from them only to end up with other parent figures who are just as abusive and controlling or more (Salem and Ironwood). All of above could represent how Cinder and Winter have not overcome their trauma.

The fact that Cinder is so desperate to be nothing and even wants to be something to the point that she accepts the power that Salem gives her at the cost of her own freedom to the point that she sees all of this as an opportunity despite that it's actually dehumanizing seems pretty tragic to me. Basically Cinder wants freedom but at the same time she also wants to make sense of her existence and her pain but that is only dehumanizing and destroying her.

Hello anons!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

I agree, I think this is the point of both Cinder and Winter’s characters and of their foiling. I am interested to see where they are at the end of this season and if something more is done with their juxtaposition.

At the same time, Cinder as a character foils all the Maidens and the Maiden Candidates so far.

1) She is a foil of Pyrrha when it comes to the theme of destiny and choice:

Pyrrha and Cinder are both linked to the idea of destiny and choosing. I have shared some thoughts on them here.

I would say that Cinder wants to be chosen. She wants to be special and to be given value. This is probably why she is serving Salem. It is because Salem has chosen her for an important role:

Salem: When I chose you as my vessel for the Maidens, I put my trust in you.

This is not positive. It is dehumanizing:

Salem: This game is not yours to win, Cinder, it’s mine. Just because you’re more valuable to me than a pawn, does not make you a player.

But Cinder sees this as a chance.

Pyrrha is instead a person, who chooses her own destiny:

Pyrrha: When I think of destiny, I don’t think of a predetermined fate you can’t escape. But rather… some sort of final goal, something you work towards your entire life.

In other words, Pyrrha has an active role in her own destiny, while Cinder so far has accepted it passively.

This might seem ironic because all in all Cinder has been a pretty active character. She was born as nothing and fought to free herself and to become more powerful. However, she is still leaving her own life in the hands of another person, who is specifically coded as an abusive mother-figure. It is probable that her arc will be about taking back the agency Salem is clearly stealing from her.

This might very well be why she is the Maiden of choice. It is because in the end she’ll make an active choice to get her own freedom back.

At the same time, Pyrrha being active in her choices still leads to her demise. This is because she represents a choice without knowledge, as I have stated in the meta linked above:

She had been explained only a fragment of the truth, while the whole point is that one should learn, meet creation and destruction and then make a choice. This is why we have yet to meet the relic of choice.

2) She foils Raven in how they both use a survivalist approach to hide their weakness and insecurities and in how they are ready to use themselves and others to gain power.

Some similarities can be seen in how specifically Raven uses Vernal and in how Cinder uses Emerald. After all, it is not by chance that that specific aspect of Emerald’s relationship with Cinder is focused on in the finale of volume 5. At the same time, Cinder too is like Vernal in how Salem is using her as a pawn, who can be sacrificed.

3) She foils Winter in how they have tried to escape in a cycle only to end up in similar a situation similar from the one they ran away from. And this despite them coming from opposite social classes.

4) She foils Penny in how they are objectified by others.

Penny is both a human and a robot, while Cinder is both a Grimm and a human.

Their respective superiors are using their “inhumane” part to control them since Ironwood has hacked Penny, while Salem is using the Grimm arm as a leash.

Thank you for the asks!

[a-wondering-nomad]

Did anyone else hear that Tomb Raider is getting an anime?!?!?! I'm one of the shamefull Tomb Raider fans who'se only played the three newest games ahahaha It was after I jst finished re-playing Shadow of the Tomb Raider and reading a bit of the discussions about Lara Croft and the game's changes, thinking how I would have continued the games that I began the sketch. Then I found out that an anime's on the way and realized - I'm drawing an anime Lara Croft! So here's my take on Lara's anime design hahahaha ------------------------------------------------------ Alright, Imma indulge my nerdyness for a second and write a novel about my redesign of her! Things I wanted to return from the old games (i watched gameplays on youtube hehe): - I like the dual guns, even if they might not fit too well in the new gameplay style, they could be an option along with her other weapons (since I already barely used anything other than the bow!) plus, they have a sentimental/story value, they're iconic, makes her character stand out/more recognizable! Plus, I'm sure both the anime and future games could make something fun with them! - Shorts; I just think she'll be more agile - though, of course, warmer clothes when she's in cold weather - High ponytail/braid; For the very early games, it really was satisfying seeing her long hair bounce around, so I brought that back! - Personality wise, since she's grown out of the doe-eyed Lara from Tomb Raider (2013), I kinda hope for a return of the heavy posch-english accent combined with sassy comebacks and quick one ligners! I do also like her new youthfull, and at times uncertain, reactions to the crazy events she experiences, whilst still confidently fighting her way forward - so somewhere in between the old and new Lara would be nice! - More globetrotting, it's nice to focus on individual cultures, but going between several locations and climates is fun! - Gun holsters on thigs are just so cool hahahaha Things I kept from newer games: - I like all her gadgets! There's something kinda superspy about her gadgets, but still crafty since she's either made them herself or found them along the way - Though I think she'll be expecting and preparing for more crazyness after all she's been through! - I like her messy bangs and loose strands of hair, since she's quite a survivalist! - I like the more realistic approach to depicting real cultures (though still fantastical) rather than the sometimes cartoony crazyness of the old games - It doesn't fit as well with the hyperrealism graphics we've reached in games! (though i guess it could be more fitting for the anime...? I still prefer more subtle fantasy elements ~) - I based my anime face on her face model from Tomb Raider 2013, since she looked gorgeus in that game! I find in the latter games, she looks less unique and individual, and more like that 'perfect face' drawing photoshoppers use, ahahahaha - That necklace???? I like it, but I can't seem to find a story behind it??? Anyways, i headcanoned she got it from her dad, or found it on a childhood dig~ Things I've added: - I gave her sunkissed skin and sun freckles, since I imagine she's out in the sun on digs or adventures! I really liked the look of her freckles, kinda a girl-next-door vibe, wich fit with her history-nerd side! - I tied her hair with a scarf, I imagined it could be a sentimental heirloom from her mom! - I sooooooo want her to have pets! Or, well, more like animal helpers! Both in games and the series, they could have some fun functions! I thought a falcon fit her character, brave and nobel, and I thought there could be a cool plot point of her befriending one of the wolves she usually fights, then it comes back to help her/they cross paths repeatedly, and by the end they are inseperable ~ - I gave her ripped stockings since it looks kinda cool/raw, and fits her. Also, leg-warmers, for no other reason than i thought it looked cool ------------------------------------------------------ Enough of that, I just wanted to share all my thoughts when redesigning! I also gave her two other outfits for different situations, one with her iconic sunglasses, backpack and her old top (though I didnt make it blue just to stay within the earthy colors scheme I had going) If anyone else is a Tomb Raider fan, what is your hopes for the series???? Hope you like her!

[susoftjockau]

Art by @badartbysomeguy​.

Connie woke up shivering. The blizzard was raging against the window, wind howling, and the heater was, as usual, on the fritz. She was going to need socks again.

She stood up, a shudder going through her whole body as her feet hit the ground, and started rummaging around under her bed. She’d just found the warm socks when full awareness hit her. Steven was on the couch. Without a blanket. In a room that was at best sixty degrees. She rushed through putting the fluffy socks on her feet and crept out of her room, opening the door with a gentle creak.

She couldn’t tell if Steven was asleep on the common room couch. What she could tell is that he was shivering, curled up as tight as he could, his feet tucked poorly into his jeans. She stared for a minute, letting the chill seep in to feel what he was feeling. In the end, she couldn’t take it. She approached and tapped the couch next to his head. “Steven,” she whispered. “Steven? You awake?”

He looked blearily up at her. “Hey, Connie. Little cold in here, huh?”

“Sometimes the heater is a little finicky,” she replied softly. “It’s freezing, Steven. You’re gonna catch a cold.”

“Nah. I never get sick,” he defended. “I’m fine. Just chilly. Don’t worry about it.” “You’re shivering.” She reached out and grabbed one of his hands. “And your extremities are ice cold. You need a blanket.”

“Do you have a spare?” He asked gratefully.

“No… I keep meaning to, but on a fixed income…” She trailed off.

“Well, then, nothing for it, right?” He deflated. “Sorry for getting stuck here. Just go to bed.”

She groaned, kneeling next to the couch. “No. That’s not right. You’re my guest. I’ve gotta do something.”

The silence stretched between them, broken up by howling wind and snow on glass. “Well,” Steven said finally. “How comfortable are you with me?”

“I’m pretty—” She stared. He couldn’t mean what she thought he meant. “You want to share?”

“If you’re comfortable,” he added hastily. “I can just freeze here otherwise. I mean, not freeze. I’m not leading you. I’ll be fine here. I’ll put my shoes back on and pull my arms in my shirt. Not a problem.”

“It’s… just for warmth.” She could do this. She’d be a good host. She’d justify it to herself somehow. “It’s a valid survival tactic. Under a blanket, we’ll share body heat better. The bed will be cramped, but there’s just enough room for a pillow between us… I think.” Connie chewed her lower lip. “Yeah. Won’t be comfy, but cramped is better than freezing, right?”

He jumped up and pulled her up into a hug that made her squeak. “Thank you, thank you, this sucks so much.” He groaned and padded back towards her room. “Can I call your RA for you? About the heater? You really shouldn’t have to deal with this.”

She was still reeling at how eagerly he’d agreed. “I only have two pillows. You’ll have to do something else.”

“I’ve got my jacket. I won’t need it under a blanket, right?” He took it off and balled it up, and wow, he had some broad shoulders, huh? At least he slept clothed—

“Right!” She yelped, then quickly brought her voice back down. “Good idea. You can use your jacket.”

“You take the wall side. That way if someone falls off it’s me.” He gave her a smile and shut the door behind them.

“Thanks.” She scooted back under the blanket, taking one of her two pillows and setting it in the middle of the bed. She shivered, all the warmth from the blanket lost as she’d knelt with Steven. “Alright. Come on in.”

He crawled in with her, pulling her oversized comforter to cover him, and he let out a moan. “That’s so much better.”

Connie gulped. She was not ready to hear him purr like that when he was inches away sharing a blanket with her. But he must’ve been freezing if the chilly blanket was warm to him. She couldn’t call backsies now. She stood the pillow between them like a barricade and they each braced themselves against it, Connie to avoid the cold wall and Steven to keep from falling off the bed.

Connie laid on her back and handed her glasses to Steven. “Put those on the side table for me. Good night, Steven.”

“G’night, Connie.” He rolled onto his side, arm dangling off the bed, and they both tried to sleep.

Connie closed her eyes, but no matter what she did or how she balled up, the cold room was reaching under the blanket for her. She kept suppressing shivers, but she couldn’t miss the way Steven was shivering too.

She didn’t want to think about the boy in her bed. She wanted to pretend that her bed was just half the size, while Steven had a separate bed a few inches away. That was fine. Her mother wouldn’t be able to say anything about that. Not that she could anyway. This was just being a good host.

She was going to kill whoever was supposed to keep her heater working.

“Can’t sleep either?” Steven whispered. He rolled over, and for a moment he almost knocked the pillow aside. She hastily put it back into place.

“It’s really cold.” She didn’t look at him. She was not going to look at him. “Maybe I should put on a coat.”

“You know… there’s another way. If we’re supposed to share body heat, we could get closer.”

Connie’s head was filled with screaming. She was barely sustaining her calm as it was, and he wanted her to tear down the only barricade between herself and the hosts of hell? “Good idea,” she heard herself say, and the screaming redoubled.

“Let’s just move the pillow. We can cuddle up close.” She couldn’t see his face in the dark. Was he blushing? Surely he must be. Her face was burning in the cold. “We’re friends, right? We’ve hugged before. We can do this to keep warm.”

“Just to keep warm,” she repeated, grabbing the phrase and latching on with everything she had. “Just more survivalist strategies. We’re braving the cold and we need to—” cuddle “ —share body heat to stay warm. Doesn’t have to be about us. Just good tactics.”

“Sounds great, cuddle buddy.” He giggled as he pulled the pillow out from between them, and without so much as a warning, they were pressed together. His arms wrapped around her, one beneath her pillow and the other around her waist, and he pulled her closer. He let out a satisfied groan, and he was way too close to be doing that.

But she could already feel them both warming up, trapping heat between them. It was working. She couldn’t back out now.

“You’re really tense,” Steven murmured. “You can relax. It’s just a long hug.”

“I strained a muscle today in tennis practice,” she lied desperately. “Just a little sore. No problem.”

“I could massage it if it’s sore,” he offered. “So you can get some rest. You’re always so busy, you need sleep.”

He couldn’t be this oblivious. He just couldn’t. All her attempts to write this off as survivalism vanished in his embrace. This is hell, Connie thought. Mom warned me about seductive college boys with sweet voices. And he was so sweet I thought he was the exception. I thought I could tell the difference. But this is the end. I’m caught in his arms and he’s so kind and gentle and now he’s stolen my innocence without even noticing. I’m ruined. He’s ruined me. Everything is ruined forever.

“I’ll just try to relax,” she lied again. “It’s not that bad, just exacerbated by the cold. Now that you’re warming me up,” don’t think about it don’t think about it, “I’m sure it’ll be fine in a minute. Thank you for the offer.”

“Sure thing, Connie. Thanks for letting me sleep next to you.” He sighed happily again, shifting against her. “You’re so warm.”

“You too,” she squeaked. And he was. She wasn’t any more comfortable, but she was certainly getting very, very hot.

And he noticed and pulled away. “You’re not okay with this,” he said suddenly, as if the idea of someone not wanting cuddles had never occurred to him before—and maybe it hadn’t. “You’re tense because of me.” He rolled onto his back, and they both stared up at the ceiling.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“It was my idea.” He was guarded, but in his whispers she could still hear that he was hurt, at least somewhat. “You don’t have to be comfortable with it.”

But I want to be. “It’s so fast, isn’t it?” She said instead.

“Fast to what?”

“To… to closeness! Intimacy! You can’t…” Connie struggled with herself. “It’s romantic,” she said at last.

“What?” He had to catch himself; this was apparently so ridiculous that he forgot to whisper for a moment. “Sorry. Quiet. Cuddling isn’t romantic! I cuddle with the g—with my family all the time. It’s intimate, but friends can be intimate. Didn’t you ever cuddle with your family?”

Connie was quiet. She slowly turned the question in her head. She tried to remember the last time she cuddled with her family, and couldn’t. She tried to remember a hug. She was sure she’d had one of those. It just… when was it? Middle school?

“My family didn’t do that sort of thing,” she answered finally just as Steven was about to give up and apologize. “They were never close. I didn’t get a lot of personal contact.” She waited a second too long to add “With my family, I mean.”

“Oh. Connie…” She felt him shift to touch her, but he stopped himself and paused. His solution was physical affection, then. Apparently, that was always on the table for him.

And as he pulled his hand back, Connie realized she wanted it there.

“I want to try again,” she whispered to the dark. “Just friends cuddling. I’ll try not to think of it as anything bigger. I can trust you that far.” I think, she didn’t say.

Steven was a lot slower this time, more careful with the placement of his hands. Careful to avoid touching any bare skin or letting his arm linger anywhere untoward. But he wrapped around her all the same, and this time she tried to relax. It was so… so nice, to be held. To feel another person against her. “Is this okay?” He asked, voice all sweetness and care. “Not too much?”

She forced herself to just appreciate it. They were both clothed. He wasn’t doing anything but holding her close. And it was warm and comforting.

Her mom could stuff it. She liked this. She was going to make herself enjoy it.

Slowly Connie focused on each muscle, starting with her legs and working up, relaxing herself piece by piece. His arms felt so much better when her back wasn’t tight against it, her belly no longer sucked in and tense. She let herself lean into his touch instead. Into the warm embrace of a friend she could trust.

“It’s perfect,” Connie said as she closed her eyes. “Thank you, Steven.”

“Thank you for believing me,” he answered. He snuggled a little closer. She could feel his breath, and somehow it was a comfort instead of a terror. “Goodnight, Connie.”

It was so warm. “Goodnight, Steven.”

They were both asleep in moments.

-----

When Connie finally woke, it came slow. She felt the sun on her face through the blinds, the light warming the room and her face. But she didn’t need the sun to warm her.

Still wrapped around her, Steven slept with his head against her shoulder. Wrapped up together, she’d slept better than she could remember.

She almost went to check her phone to see if she needed to get up, but Steven was on that side. She didn’t want to wake him yet. He was so comfortable, and so was she.

She’d slept the night with a boy in her bed. They’d cuddled all night, warm together amidst the winter storm, and as far as she could tell, the world hadn’t ended. Her mom wasn’t beating down the door to get to her. It was just her and her friend, warm and wrapped up in each other.

I have a friend, she realized, and the thought made her eyes burn. She hugged Steven close.

Too close. He stirred and squeezed her back. “Good mornin’, jam bud.” He opened one eye. “Still okay?”

“Still okay.” She smiled, because against all odds it was true. “We should check the time, though. I don’t know when it is, but if the sun is coming in, classes will be starting soon.”

“Classes?” He giggled and his chest bounced against her. “After that snowstorm? I’d be surprised if we have classes for the rest of the week, Connie. It’s a snow day for sure.” But he let her go, turning and handing her glasses and her phone. She checked the weather and the news and sure enough, Ocean Town Academy was closed for the day under a foot of snow.

“Steven, if the snow’s that bad, how’s your ride going to get here? I don’t know if they’ll come fix the heater with the snow that deep, and I’m sure you want to get home, right?”

“I’m pretty comfy.” He grinned. “And my ride will get here. He’s super dependable.”

She quirked up an eyebrow. “Dependable like last night?”

Steven frowned. “Okay, maybe not always. But he can get here. He knows how to get to me.”

That was his most cryptic statement about his mysterious ride yet, but Connie knew prying would only make him lock up or tell lies so outrageous they could only be meant to let her know he wasn’t willing to talk.

Or he was the worst liar in the universe. It was still a toss-up.

“Alright, well, what do you want to do while we wait for him to show? We can’t stay under the covers all day.”

He grinned. “It’s a snow day! What else do you do on a snow day? Let’s go enjoy the snow!”

Connie waited for the other shoe to fall, but she should’ve known better. In some ways, Steven was younger than he looked. “Even with the house cold?”

“That’s just a good reason for a snow adventure. We’ll find somewhere warm to hang out!” He jumped out of bed, shaking the wrinkles out of his clothes while he searched for shoes. “We can toss snowballs, make snow people, all that stuff.”

She leaned on one arm while she watched him. “It’s so cold, though.”

“Then we’ll have to stay close. It worked last night, right?” He shrugged on his jacket and beamed at her. “Come on! It’s cold in here, it’s cold out there. Wouldn’t you rather be having fun with a friend than shivering in here?”

Connie considered telling him what her mom would say. That she could get hypothermia or come down with a cold. That there was no reason to take an unnecessary risk.

But her mom wasn’t here. And he hadn’t asked her mom. He’d asked her. His friend.

“Oh, alright... let me get a puffer.” She tried to sound long-suffering just in case someone was listening, but she wore a giddy smile.

They bundled up and set out to enjoy their snow day.

- @ftecho4​