#she said: off course there's a cow. then you sleep better

[definegodliness]

Had a dream last night

Best movie you'll never see

[corruptedcaps]

Bad Blonde: Dora

This is a follow up to Bad Blonde

Lucy had hoped that a good night sleep would have cleared her mind of any further urge to put on the wig but her dreams had made sure to stoke the fire of her desire. Her dreams were filled with images of herself as Lucia. She was feared and loved in equal measure and took what she wanted without care for anyone else. It felt liberating. She was filled with such confidence and power in her dream world that when she woke the next morning she felt incredibly deflated.

At breakfast she stared intensely at the fridge freezer knowing what was hidden behind the door. She could almost hear the voice of the wig call out to her, tempting her to open it, rip open the garbage bag and shove the wig on her head. She found herself wet at the mere thought of it as she sat eating her breakfast. She felt on edge and wasn’t sure she could last. She hadn’t even noticed Dora walk in.

“Hey babe, you look like a wreck.” Dora said bluntly. Lucy knew her girlfriend meant it out of worry but the comment made her snap.

“What the hell is that suppose to mean?” Lucy hissed at Dora who seemed taken aback by sudden vitriol.

“I-I just mean you look like you had a bad night sleep is all.” Dora said sheepishly backing away slightly.

“Well I did if you must know but keep your comments to yourself.” Lucy said filling with rage by the second.

“Lucy what’s gotten into you? First it was that nasty comment yesterday then I get home and you didn’t get the food you said you would and now you’re acting like a b-i-t-c-h.” Dora said finding some courage but almost instantly regretting it when she saw the fire in Lucy’s eyes.

Lucy was livid staring at Dora. How dare she be so insolent! Who did she think she was speaking to? Lucy was a goddess compared to Dora.

That’s when it hit Lucy. She wanted the power over Dora, she wanted to be her bully more than she wanted to be her girlfriend. The wig had given her a taste of being a bad bitch and now she was addicted. She needed to get out of the house and away from the wig before she became the monster she was desperate to be.

“Just stay the fuck away from me.” Lucy said pushing past Dora and heading outside away from the temptation. Of course Lucy meant what she said to Dora as a way of protecting her but Dora stood in the kitchen, eyes filling with water, not knowing what she has done to so upset her girlfriend.

Unfortunately at times like this Dora turned to something sweet to make herself feel better. Opening the freezer to take out her favourite container of ice cream she was instead faced with a black garbage bag. Pulling it out she was surprised at how light it was. Out of curiosity she ripped open the bag to find out what was inside.

“What the heck?” Dora said finding the bright blonde wig inside. She recognized it immediately as the wig from the store and thought Lucy must have bought it but why was it in the fridge. All her questions seemed to fade away though as soon as she touched the wig. She was instantly enamoured by it and a great desire to wear it arose inside her.

Lifting the wig over her own dull brown hair she gently moved it into place. Within seconds the blonde hair was tightly on her head and for a second she thought about what Lucy had said yesterday about the wig not fitting her head. Maybe she had been right.

“Or maybe she was jealous of how good you would look with me on your head?” The wig cooed inside Dora’s head. Dora was understandably shocked to hear someone else’s voice in her head but still didn’t take off the wig.

“Holy cow, are you real? Am I going mad?” Dora asked into the air.

“Of course I’m real honey and you should be mad. Mad for what Lucy puts you through. For the way she treats you. You deserve more respect, not just from her but from everyone.” The wig said.

Dora had a sudden realization while wearing the wig. This was why Lucy acted so mean yesterday, while she was so on edge today. Even now Dora could feel the wigs tendrils trying to corrupt her. It felt good but Dora knew the wig was bad news. It was trying to turn her against the love of her life and imagined it had tried to do the same to Lucy. A plan formulated in her mind to get the wig out of their lives, she just had to play along…

“Respect? Me? Look at me I’m a flabby nobody.” Dora said rejected.

“That’s true but let’s see if we can’t make you a hot somebody!” The wig said moments before Dora felt her body begin to shift and transform. Her weight instantly rearranged itself around her body giving her a sleek but still curvaceous form with any excess fat going straight to her tits.

“Holy shit! What have you done? I look so…so… so fucking sexy.” Dora said letting the profanity fly. Her mind was still on the plan at hand but she was loving the way her new body looked with the combo of the blonde hair. She didn’t have the same hang up with being blonde as Lucy and in fact admired the gorgeous blonde women who lifted their noses at them on a daily basis. Sure they were mean bitches but they were popular, loved and feared in equal measure.

“Don’t you think you deserve respect now?” The wig asked. To the wigs surprise Dora took a moment to answer.

At her core Dora wanted to be accepted but also wanted to stand out from the crowd. That’s why she loved thrift shopping, she wanted to be noticed even if she was mocked for it. Now however she could be noticed in a more pleasing way. She’d never be mocked like this. Her mind swam with the possibilities but her conscious pushed her forward with her plan.

“I guess but respect comes with some amount of power right? I feel like I would strain to lift a handbag right now.” Dora said stroking her soft but weak arms.

“You’re totally right! What is respect without strength to back it up?” The wig said happy that Dora was suggesting ways to corrupt her further. The next moment Dora felt her whole body tingle as here muscles toned and strengthened. The look of her body remained unchanged but she knew she could now lift a man twice her size with ease. The thought alone made her wet. She lifted up a stone paperweight on her desk and squeezed it. Easily she turned it into dust. She knew if she was to defeat the wig she had only one shot before she gave in to its corruption.

“Mmmm yessss no one will mess with me now! However raw strength can only take me so far. You have real power. You can change my very body with a thought. Power like that would make me unstoppable don’t you think?” Dora said admiring her improved form in the mirror nonchalantly while hoping her plan would work and thankfully for her the wig took the bait.

“Absolutely! Dora you are a joy to work with, you have such naughty ideas. Take my power and become a goddess!” The wig purred and Dora felt her body suddenly levitate off the ground as it became infused with dark magic. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head as black electricity came from her head and enveloped her body. Electricity which unexpectedly burned away any remnants of her soul.

She moaned with delight as her mind filled up with dark schemes and the desire to enact them. She had full knowledge now of the wigs capabilities and couldn’t wait to use them. She felt unleashed for the first time, well mostly.

“Doesn’t my power feel delicious running through your veins. You should be honoured, I’ve never let anyone share them before.” The wig said as Dora slowly returned to the floor with a cold look on her face and a more confident stance in her posture.

”Don’t worry you’ll never have to share them with anyone again.” Dora said with a smirk as she ripped the wig off her head. Her body remained the same however except her hair was back to its normal brown colour. Walking over to some candles on her table she picked up the lighter that was beside it and without hesitation lit the wig on fire.

“Now that I have your powers I don’t need you anymore. My plan was to strip you of your abilities so no one could be corrupted by you again and it worked flawlessly but I didn’t expect for the magic to wipe away that pesky soul of mine. What a delightful side effect. As a result it awoke the bitch inside me. It opened Pandora’s box if you will. Mmmm what a hot name, I think I’ll take it.” She spoke to the wig as she slowly watched it disintegrate with pleasure.

As the last hair went up in flames, Pandora smirked knowing she was in charge now. No wig, no Lucy, no anybody, she would never play second fiddle to anyone again.

Walking back to the mirror she looked at her new body with glee but also with plans. What the wig had done was a good start but with its unlimited power she would become every bit the goddess she now felt.

Most were simple improvements on what she already had. She increased her cup size, tanned her skin, grew her nails etc so the most obvious change she made was to turn her hair to the blonde colour of the wig. It might have been residual influence of the wig in her mind but couldn’t see herself as anything other than a blonde now.

“There we go. Perfection. Now to make sure I’m completely unstoppable.” She said taking out her phone and texting Lucy asking her what the strange bag was in the freezer. She knew that would have Lucy scurrying home. In the meantime it would give Pandora some time to test out her ability to shapeshift clothes into something more fitting her demeanour.

Less than 30 minutes later Lucy burst into the apartment calling out for Dora and hearing only a soft ‘here’ come from their bedroom. Pushing the door open Lucy expected the worse and found her fear realized to see a completely transformed Dora sitting before her clad in red velvet, holding a glass of wine, looking every inch the villain.

“Oh god Dora, it got to you too?! You have to take it off before it permanently corrupts you.” Lucy pleaded but Pandora just smiled an eerie smile at her.

“Why? So you can have it to yourself? So you can become Lucia?” Pandora said.

“No of course not I-you, eh it’s just evil is all and it’s no good for you or for me.” Lucy said flustered for being called out.

“Oh dear it had you bad didn’t it? You’re stammering and lying to the love of your life. You would do anything to have that power again wouldn’t you? To become that bitch Lucia again wouldn’t you?” Pandora said getting to her feet and standing imposingly over Lucy.

“No how could you… I mean it was nice but… oh fuck you’re right! I loved being hot and mean and evil! I came rushing back not to protect you but to have the power to myself but I’m too late.” Lucy said dropping her head in failure. Pandora however reached out and lifted her girlfriend’s head so they were staring eye to eye.

“Lucky for you the power the hair had no longer exists in the wig. Mainly because the wig no longer exists so it doesn’t make the rules anymore. I do.” Pandora smirked as she reached behind her head and pulled at her long golden hair producing a large ponytail like clump that didn’t diminish her own hair. In fact it was like she pulled the hair from thin air.

“I’ll give you a choice. Become my second in command and receive a fraction of the power you would have had or remain your unremarkable self. Lucy or Lucia, the choice is yours.” Pandora said holding the hair out for Lucy who waited no time at all the grab the hair and put it on her head.

The hair eagerly latched onto her own hair creating a tight high ponytail and spread outward like a virus turning the brown into blonde. Lucy threw her head back as the corruption rushed from down her body giving her the body she so craved.

Within seconds she had completely transformed into a new woman, she was once again Lucia. This time however the creeping ill will towards Dora that the wig had poisoned her mind with was gone. In fact she positively adored her. She knew that she would do anything for her now. Anything for her Queen.

“Welcome back Lucia. How do you feel?” Pandora said practically proud of her first creation.

“Perfect my mistress. Thank you for deeming me worthy of you power. I am forever in your debt.” Lucia said looking at Pandora with undying loyalty.

“Good. You will help me recruit more girls who desire a status change in their life. I will provide them with ponytails to give them everything they desire turning them into my army of slutails. With them at my disposal, I’ll enough to take control.” Pandora said gathering her bag and preparing to leave.

“Control what mistress?” Lucia said following obediently. Pandora turned around and smiled at her ignorant thrall.

“Why everything of course.” Pandora said followed by a sinister chuckle. The two changed women left their dingy apartment with conquest on their mind.

THE END

[xsweetcatastrophe]

You broke me first

part 27

cill: bad news.

zoe: uhoh. what?

Zoe hated text messages like this. It’s bad enough he was leaving soon, how much worse can it get?

cill: it was more than just a wardrobe fitting.

Zoe: ???

cill:

Zoe laughed at the picture, staring at the signature pesky haircut he’s been subjected to all this time during this series. He hated it, he hated the upkeep, and he hated growing it out. Zoe knew he was relishing in the last couple of days of his normal hair before the inevitable happened.

Zoe: wow they really went short on the sides! Better wear a hat you’re gonna catch cold over there.

Cill: i’ll be living in hoodies with the hood up for the foreseeable future.

cill: how you feeling, bunny?

Zoe had taken a sick day from work today. She didn’t feel good, had the chills, and had zero appetite. She was camped out on the couch with a cozy blanket, a cup of tea and the remote while being under the care of her trusty live-in nurse - Scout, of course.

Zoe: a bit better. definitely a lot better than this morning. Scout has been taking care of me. Might actually take him out in a bit and get fresh air.

cill: don’t go outside if you’re sick. i’ll do it when i get home. did you eat anything?

Zoe’s heart still fluttered when he said home. THEIR home, where they live together, even if it’s just the time being.

zoe: i had some ramen noodles for lunch. maybe ill take a bath. i want to change the sheets too just in case whatever i have is contagious, dont need you getting sick.

cill: i’ll take care of the sheets and Scout. you just rest and take a bath. when i get home we’ll talk about dinner.

Zoe: can i suggest a pizza?

cill: not a chance.

zoe: worth a shot.

Zoe smiled and put her phone down on the couch. She looked at scout who was laying the couch by her feet sound asleep. She sighed and was hoping he’d want to go out.

“Scout… hey, wanna go out, boy?” Zoe whispered, nudging the sleeping dog with her foot.

Scout yawned, looked at her, and rolled over and went back to sleep, facing away from her.

“sheesh, okay then,” Zoe mumbled. she peeled back the blanket she was under and stood up to stretch. She was still in her pajamas, which was a baggy band t-shirt that came down to just above her knees. She hadn’t showered yet, was sure she smelled gross and she definitely felt gross. She made her way to the linen closet and pulled out a fresh towel and made her way to the bathroom.

She hasn’t been able to take a bath since she took a bath at Cillian’s in his ginormous, pristine, white bathtub. Her bathroom seemed small and dirty, and didn’t seem as relaxing as Cillian’s bathroom felt. But, she knew the warm water would make her feel better, so she decided to make the best of it, as she turned on the hot water faucet. She decided to grab a bath bomb and a lavender candle to make it more cozier.

She stripped off her T-shirt and panties and lowered herself into the warm water after dropping the bath bomb in. She had the candle lit on the corner of the edge of the tub and she was already starting to smell the lavender fill the room. She cursed herself for forgetting a second towel to fold and use as a pillow for her head, so her dirty T-shirt would have to suffice.

She relaxed and lowered herself even lower into the water, exhaling and closing her eyes. Her tub made Cillian’s look like an olympic sized swimming pool, and she had to bend her knees out of the water.

“If i close my eyes and pretend im anywhere else, its not so bad,” Zoe thought, feeling the water gently slosh around her legs. She heard the jingle of metal on metal, and she opened one eye to see where it was coming from. She was greeted by two big brown eyes staring back at her from the bathroom door.

“don’t tell me NOW you wanna go out,” Zoe said to Scout. Instead, he nudged the door open farther and made his way into the bathroom, peeking into the tub. Zoe pat his head, thinking he wanted some attention. Once he realized she was wet, he cowered away from her hand. He instead circled on the rug outside the tub and lay down, seemingly wanting to nap close to her.

“awww,” Zoe said softly, closing her eyes again. “good boy.”

-

“hey.. baby.. hey.. HEY,”

Zoe jolted awake, water sloshing over the edge of the tub. She opened her eyes to Cillian kneeling next to her on the outside of the tub, hand gently shaking her shoulder.

“I forget you sleep like a rock. I was calling your name when i came home, and i found you in the bathtub like this,” Cillian laughed.

Zoe sat up and awkwardly stretched, her neck now in pain from the awkward angle.

“I didn’t think i’d doze off, I just wanted a quick dip to warm me up”

Cillian looked at his watch. “well, you texted me saying you were taking a bath 2 hours ago, and that water is barely warm anymore,” he said, standing up and grabbing the towel she had placed on the vanity earlier. he opened it in his hands and walked towards the tub. “come on, up.”

Zoe stood up and started shivering almost immediately. Cillian was quick to wrap the towel over her, rubbing her arms to warm her up. He then opened his arms and took her into them, holding her against his body.

“Can’t have you drowning on me, I’d miss you too much,” he said into her hair, giving her a kiss to her temple.

“I miss your bathtub in your old house,” Zoe mumbled. “That was heaven.”

“I’ll build you a bigger bathtub in the new house,” Cillian mumbled back.

“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s just hard to come back to what you’ve always known once you had a taste of luxury, that’s all i’m saying” Zoe replied.

“well when we’re in the new house you won’t have to worry about taking baths in small bathtubs again,” Cillian said giving her a quick kiss. “I stopped at that restaurant you like in the next town over and brought home some soup for you, and something for myself. I’m gonna walk Scout to the corner quick so he can pee, you get changed and meet in the living room, yeah?”

Zoe smiled. “thank you. that sounds good.”

Cillian walked out of the bathroom towards where Scout was and grabbed his leash while Zoe made her way to her bedroom. She grabbed some new underwear, some sweatpants and one of Cillian’s old T-shirts that would be extra baggy and extra comfortable. She put on some socks and made her way to the living room where she saw the takeout containers on the coffee table.

Zoe went to grab some bowls, plates and utensils and placed them on the coffee table. She grabbed bottle of water for herself and Cillian and made herself cozy on the couch.

While she was trying to find something to watch, Cillian came home with Scout. Scout ran to his basket of toys and pulled out a plush giraffe and began shaking it.

“Dog has so much energy, i swear we RAN home,” Cillian said, kicking off his shoes. He made himself comfortable next to Zoe and started unwrapping the containers.

“How did everything else go today?” Zoe asked, ignoring his shaved head. She already knew how that went.

“ummm…” Cillian started, hesitant to continue. If he was trying to hide something from Zoe, she picked up on it immediately. Something was up.

“what?”

“Well, for one, your magazine called. They said I have to do the interview all over again, with someone else,” Cillian said.

“that sucks, did they tell you who?”

“Some girl named Cindy? Cynthia?”

Zoe groaned. “great. good luck with that one. Where i ended up in bed with you by accident, she’ll try and sleep with you for real,” Zoe said.

“I think it’s over Zoom so you have nothing to worry about,” Cillian laughed.

Cillian cut up some chicken and took a bite. After swallowing, he continued.

“there’s uh… there’s more”

Zoe sat in silence, waiting for him to continue.

“My manager, Mary, is going out on maternity leave, and we’ve been having a hard time trying to find someone in the interim, but her and Hannah went to the same college or sorority or whatever, and she volunteered to do it while Mary is out. So Hannah is gonna be glued to my hip for the next couple of months. And apparently … I’m leaving for London on Monday.” Cillian said the last part very fast and very softly.

Zoe could hear her heartbeat in her ears.

be cool, be cool, be cool.

“oh wow… monday? that’s … in 3 days.” Zoe said.

Cillian put his fork down and grabbed her hand.

“I know, love, but it’s not permanent you know that. and we’ll talk every day. multiple times a day. I’m coming back.”

“i know.” Zoe said, forcing a smile. “I’ll coordinate stuff for the house for you while you’re gone, with all the furniture deliveries and stuff.”

“I appreciate it. thanks love. I already made you a key” he said, digging into his pocket.

“Assumed i’d help you move while you’re off being Tommy Shelby?? how’d you know i’d say yes to helping?!” Zoe joked.

Cillian smiled. “I was making you a key, regardless.” he leaned in and gave her a kiss, placing the key in her hand.

“So you and Hannah are gonna be quite the team…” Zoe continued.

“Yeah,” Cillian replied, “I had no idea she had managerial experience. But she started in the industry as a manager and pivoted into PR, so..” he continued, shrugging his shoulders.

“Cillian and Hannah, the dynamic duo,” Zoe said, taking a spoonful of soup.

“Yea,” Cillian chuckled, grabbing another mouthful of food.

“I mean, hey, what could go wrong?”

tags: @lau219 @shopgirl6us @cillianmurphyvevo @borntodiemp3

[writeforfandoms]

Warrior Song 4

Find the series masterlist

Still working our way towards some plot, some fun, and some silliness. 

Don’t take any of this too seriously - I am playing very fast and loose with canon on this fic. Also, I named the Weapon Joy. Because I can. 

Warnings: Swearing, frustration, one mildly suicidal joke, self-deprecation, one smooch. 

Word count: 2.7k

Just a couple days later, Chief returned. Which you wouldn’t have known, since you’d hidden in the back of the medbay to make more painkiller tea, except that someone started calling your name. 

“What’s up?” you asked Carter, emerging enough to see him. 

He looked both relieved and upset, which was… definitely a combination. One that stirred unease in your heart. “The Master Chief is asking for you,” he said in a hiss, as if someone were listening in. “Hurry up!”

“What?” You frowned but set your things down, following Carter. “That’s ridiculous.”

“It’s true! He asked! I heard him!” Carter trotted off, expecting you to follow. Which you did. 

Fernando spotted you and smiled, a brief look of relief crossing his features. “We heard everyone moved here,” he said, giving you a quick once-over.

“Yeah, we’re all here. All is well.” You paused. “Well enough, anyway. You? Any injuries?”

“No, no, I stay out of the fighting, let the big guy handle it.” He jerked a thumb towards an exam room with a wry grin. “Better that way.” 

You hummed acknowledgement of that. “I’m glad to see you’re alright.” 

The door to the exam room opened and your boss stepped out, expression tight. “I thought you weren’t on shift,” she said when she saw you, just on the edge of actually pissed off. 

“I was just doing some work in the back, on my own time.” You straightened your shoulders, standing taller, refusing to be cowed. 

And she might have had more to say, except the Chief stepped out of the exam room, taking in everything in a glance from behind his helmet. He nodded to you and walked out, Fernando on his heels. 

“You–” Your boss turned on you, expression going cold. 

“I’ll get out of here,” you hurriedly agreed, before she could really get started. “Carter, take care of the teas in the back, please.” And you beat a hasty retreat after the Chief and Fernando. 

You never claimed to be brave. 

“Have you seen the other Spartans yet?” you asked, jogging a little to catch up to the two men. Who both turned to look at you.

“Others?” Chief asked quietly.

“Yeah. I know there are a few around on a rotating basis, but I’ve seen Kelly, Blue Three, a few times. And Blue Four, and one other, were here yesterday, I spotted all three of them together.” You shrugged. It made sense to you - all Spartans probably knew each other, especially since they’d all been on the Infinity together. And you were like ninety percent certain all four were from the same generation of Spartans. 

“Where?” He sounded interested now, more animated. 

“No idea where they are now, but I’ll show you where I’ve seen them before.” You took the lead, heading off a bit to the side of the main camp. The area had been set aside for what armor maintenance was possible, as well as some sleeping quarters. 

Chief overtook you then, heading straight for an armored Spartan. You hung back with Fernando, feeling almost like you were intruding on something. 

“Are you okay?” Fernando asked quietly, looking at you.

“Me? Of course. Yeah, I’m fine.” You forced a little laugh, looking away. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You just seem…” But Fernando trailed off, apparently giving up on words. You were rather grateful for that. 

“I’m gonna go get some food,” you lied, suddenly desperate with the need to be anywhere else. “Let me know if you guys need help with anything, okay?” And you were gone, trotting off before Fernando could really object. 

Apparently today was just not a day that you could be a proper person. You needed something else to do. Going back to make more tea was not an option, and you didn’t want to hinder anyone stuck with you for searching through the Reverie. 

Which left the old standard: searching for plants. 

You didn’t intend to wander far. You didn’t take a soldier with you either. You just… slipped off. Quietly. Without even stopping to get a basket. 

You just needed something to keep yourself busy until your brain stopped overloading. That was all. 

You didn’t come back with much of anything useful, but you did at least come back before dark. 

Even though you regretted it the next day by noon.

Your head ached from clenching your teeth, your shoulders ached from holding your tension, and you were so close to snapping at someone you weren’t sure whether to run or seek out a fight. 

And your boss was officially on your shit list. 

You left medbay the moment you could, stomping away. A few people moved out of your way, eyes wide, as if you were actually dangerous. You nearly laughed, but couldn’t quite manage it. Instead you scanned for somewhere, anywhere, you could hide until you regained your composure.

A Pelican. Probably the only one you’d seen. You made straight for it, hoping it would be empty and you could hide inside for a few minutes. 

Luck was not on your side. 

Chief, Fernando, and a blue glowing AI all turned to look at you as you hopped up the ramp. You stopped, heart pounding, hands shaking. 

“Just let me hide here for twenty minutes,” you blurted, and immediately winced. “Please.” 

“What’s wrong?” Chief spoke first, shifting your way. 

“Nothing. Not the kind of thing you can shoot.” You shrugged, frustrated and a little embarrassed. “Nevermind.”

“Wait,” Fernando reached out a hand, pausing before he actually caught hold of your arm. “Use the cockpit, close the doors. Take as long as you want.” 

“Thank you.” You swallowed hard and stepped past him, going into the cockpit and closing the doors. You sank to the floor, putting your head down and focusing on breathing. 

You weren’t sure how long you sat there, calming down, settling back in your own skin, before a knock on the door caught your attention. 

“Chief had an idea,” Fernando called, raising his voice a little to be heard through the metal. “If you wanna hear it.”

One last deep breath bolstered you enough to stand, and you opened the door. You still felt a little off-kilter, but better. “Yeah?” 

“We found somewhere we marked to recon later,” Fernando explained. “Figured we could head up there now.” 

You eyed him and then Chief. “Long as I don’t need a gun,” you quipped, relaxing a little. 

“Great!” Fernando grinned as he stepped past you. “I’m gonna assume you’re normal and need to strap in.”

You laughed a little. “What, does he not?”

“Never. Just stands there.” Fernando settled in the pilot seat, and you picked a seat near Chief. The engines rumbled to life, and you hung on a little harder to the grips. 

“You’ll be fine.” The comforting rumble from Chief made you raise your gaze to him, finding him half-facing you, visor as impenetrable as ever. But his stance was relaxed, weapon on his back. He was unconcerned. 

“I don’t have the best associations with flying,” you admitted, shivering as you felt the Pelican lift off. “Did I see an AI earlier?” 

“Hi!” The voice was female and chirpy, and Chief held out one hand to show the AI again. “I’m Joy.” 

“Hi Joy.” You glanced up at Chief. “Nice to meet you.” 

“You too! I’ve heard a lot about you.” She lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Fernando is still impressed with the way you shout at people.”

You laughed, somehow surprised when it was a little wet. “Yeah, well. Don’t think I’ll be doing much of that.” You drew in a deep breath, grimacing at a bit of turbulence that rumbled the ship. “How long is the flight?”

“Not long,” Joy chirped. “We should be at our destination within ten minutes.” 

“Great.” You held tighter at another little tremble through the ship. 

“You’re okay.” Chief moved, surprising you when he stood between you and the back of the Pelican. Boxing you in, more or less. Seated as you were, you were even smaller than him than normal. But you didn’t feel intimidated. Just… safe. 

“Do you always do this?” You couldn’t quite stop yourself from asking, and regretted it almost immediately. 

“Do what?” 

“Put yourself between people and danger, even if it’s just perceived.” 

“Often,” came the answer after a few long moments of silence. But he didn’t move. 

You tipped your head back to stare straight up into the visor, frowning just a little. “So who supports you when you need it?” 

The Pelican dipped suddenly, unexpectedly, and you very nearly shrieked, clinging to the handholds. Chief didn’t even say anything, just put one hand on your shoulder, keeping you firmly in your seat.

“Sorry, sorry!” Fernando called back from the pilot seat. “Had to take a little detour to get there.” 

“Detour?” Chief did not sound amused. 

“Not a direct route from here, parts of one of those towers had gotten in the way.” 

You closed your eyes and held your jaw tightly closed. You were not going to throw up on the Master Chief. It wasn’t going to happen. Not a chance. Nope. No way. 

“Almost there,” Fernando said. Your stomach dropped as the Pelican did, and then it landed with a thump. You didn’t move. 

The ramp opened and you opened your eyes to make sure Chief was out of the way before you dashed outside. Still no throwing up. Good. Small favors. 

And then the sight actually hit you and you forgot all about your stomach. The Pelican had landed much further up than you had been before, and you could see where the ground dropped away in a series of small cliffs. But more importantly, to the side of that–

“Are those hot springs?”

“That was my guess.” Fernando stopped next to you, Chief on your other side. “Figured those would help morale.” 

"I'll check it out!" You started towards the hot springs. 

And almost immediately stopped as Chief got in front of you. 

"Wait."

"Oh come on! There's nothing up here except for us." You scowled a little up at the visor. 

"Just wait." 

"Best not to argue with him, he's stubborn," Fernando advised. 

When you threw up your hands but subsided, Chief nodded and walked the perimeter of the hot springs, alert. Finally, he nodded to the two of you. 

You beat Fernando to the water, having given up on any semblance of dignity, and crouched to put a hand in to test the temperature. "Oh, stars, it's warm." 

"I'm getting in." Fernando's vest hit the ground a moment later. 

You turned away to give him a semblance of privacy, and to take some for yourself, and jumped when you found Chief a few feet away. 

"Turn around, please." You made a shooing motion at Chief. He tipped his head just a little to one side. "I need a little privacy." 

Chief huffed. But turned around. 

You did a quick bit of hopping and tossing your clothes before jumping in the water. Your underthings would be wet, but for a hot soak, you’d deal with it. The noise you made was nearly sinful as you immediately sank to your neck in warm water. 

"This is the best thing ever," you said with feeling, eyes closing in absolute bliss. "I could kiss whoever spotted this." 

"That would be Chief," Fernando told you, and when you opened your eyes again he was relaxing back against the wall opposite you. He looked quite relaxed as well. "You have him to thank." 

"Remind me to kiss him." You beamed, warm and comfortable for the first time in what felt like ages. 

Fernando wheezed out a little laugh. "I would pay to see that." 

You chuckled and leaned your head back. "This is bliss. Absolute bliss. I don't think we should tell anyone so we can just come up here when we want." 

"That idea has merit." Fernando sank lower in the water until his chin was submerged. He blew a few bubbles, making you snicker. 

"Chief," you called. "Get in here." 

"Negative." He barely even glanced your way. 

"Doctor's orders." You hummed. "This is therapeutic and you need it too." 

Chief shook his head. "I need to keep watch." 

You stood up to look over at Chief. "We're the only ones here. We've got the high ground, no one's gonna sneak up on us." 

"You two enjoy." Chief continued a slow patrol of the area, glancing over at the hot spring every so often. 

"Leave him," Fernando grunted, stretching out under the water. "I'll drag him back up here sometime for his turn." 

"I'll help." You sank back into the warm water, sighing in bliss. "I live here now. This is my new home. The base can do without me." 

Fernando chuckled. "What did happen, earlier?" 

You sighed again, but with much less pleasure this time. "I'm sick of people questioning me. Assuming I can't do my job, or I have ulterior motives, or whatever." You smiled up at the sky, sad and frustrated and defeated. "If it keeps happening, I may commit murder. Or walk to the edge of the Halo and throw myself off." 

Fernando sucked in a breath, eyes open now as he watched you. “If you’re joking, that’s not funny.”

“I’m not joking.” You closed your eyes, unable to face him for this. “I have one job, Fernando. One. I am the third most harmless person on this ring. If I can’t do my job and I’m useless for everything else, why even bother.” 

“Hey.” The water sloshed as Fernando moved, and a moment later a hand landed on your shoulder. You opened your eyes to find Fernando stopped at just under arm’s length from you, respecting your privacy while still offering a point of physical contact. “You’re doing great, you know that? Way better than I would be.” 

“I’m really not.” 

“I had a breakdown in front of Chief six or seven hours after we met.” Fernando spoke carefully but mostly without shame. “It’s been weeks since you met him. You’re doing great.”

You laughed, a little wet but genuine. “Well if that’s the metric,” you joked, leaning in a little closer. “Oh man. He probably dragged you all over without even so much as a by-your-leave, huh?”

“Got it in one.” His smile was crooked but there and genuine. 

“I can still hear you.” The comment was very dry, bordering on amused. 

“So no more gossiping about how pushy he is?” You smiled. 

“I mean, what’s he gonna do? Leave us here?” Fernando grinned, leaning back into his own spot. “Fine by me.” 

You nearly cackled, sinking back down in the water. “Yeah, you’re right. We’re good here.” 

Eventually, though, Chief walked over and stood at the edge of the hot spring. “Time to go.” 

Fernando groaned but stood, turning to haul himself out of the water. You turned away and found a hand held out, ready to assist. The visor, of course, gave nothing away. But when you took his hand, Chief hauled you out of the water like you weighed nothing. 

These Spartans were really going to get to you one of these days. Sooner rather than later if these displays continued. 

“Thank you,” you muttered, feeling distinctly warm as Chief let you go. You grabbed your clothes and tugged them on, grimacing at the pull of wet skin on dry clothes. Worth it, though. 

The flight back down to base was short and thankfully smooth, although that didn’t help your nerves. What helped your nerves was Chief wordlessly moving to block you in, one hand on your shoulder to hold you steady. 

The ramp lowered and you stood, still riding the high of a hot soak. And, well, you had said you’d do this… 

“Chief?” 

He turned to look at you. You heard the door to the cockpit open. You took a deep breath. 

And managed to get a good enough grip on his shoulders to haul yourself up to plant a kiss on the jaw of the helmet. 

“Thank you.” One last dazzling smile to the extremely still Spartan and you were gone, dashing off to your bunk to properly dry off and get into clean clothes. 

That was enough bravery for the next year.

[tia-amorosa]

Sunset Died - The Loners

Lucky (2)

Later. When Twyla came home with the little dog, Autumn was the first to meet her. “Where did you get him?"/ ‘I found him with the cows, shivering in the little feeding house.’/ ”Oh boy. I don't know if Leila will be so enthusiastic"/ ‘Let's see’.

Just a few seconds later, Leila came down the stairs. Together with her fiancé. “What am I not going to be enthusiastic about? Oh… Twyla, we've talked about this before, no animals…"/ ”I know. But he's all alone. And alone he would have frozen to death and found nothing to eat"/ ‘and now we're supposed to share our food with him?’.

“Hey, he's not going to eat the hair off our heads"/ ”Our supplies are tight as it is, we have to divide everything up well for everyone. And one day our child will be here and…"/ ”It's okay, I get it, he's one mouth too many here. But I won't abandon him. Then I'll find somewhere else a place for us"/ ”And where? “.

“I don't know, somewhere where the little one is tolerated,” Twyla said a little defiantly. “Oh man, Twyla, you know I…"/ ”Yes, you prefer a clean house, without dog fur or poop in the garden. But you don't have to worry about that, I'll take care of it. At least give him a chance, o.k.? He's totally lovely. And he certainly won't eat any more than we do. An egg or two and a piece of chicken every now and then should be fine, right?”.

Leila took a deep breath and looked at the little dogs. He gave her a friendly look and wagged his tail. Then she held a finger up to his nose so that he could sniff. “Well,… He's cute, and… Atumn said earlier that she'd like to move out, so…”…

Twyla looked over Leila's shoulder into her best friend's tired face. “Is that right, you're moving out?”. Autumn looked at her and smiled with a shrug. “It had to happen sometime, didn't it? And it's such a long way to Hank's house every time, you know?”.

Autumn walked past Leila because she noticed Twwyla's somewhat disappointed expression. “Hey, don't be mad now, okay?"/ ”I'm not mad… And yeah, it would have happened eventually anyway. We've just known each other for such an incredibly long time. It's always fun with you…"/ ”But that hasn't gone away just because I live somewhere else.” Twyla stroked the little dog. “Yes… That's right.”

“Well…maybe there's something good about it after all. One mouth comes, the other goes…"/ ”hnhn, exactly. I know that we're going through a difficult time here at the moment. But I'm sure things will get better soon. We all just have to stick together. Has the little one got a name yet?"/ ”Lucky. I'll put him down first, if that's okay?”. Leila nodded.

Twyla sat the little dog on the floor, who then looked at her somewhat expectantly. “Of course, I'll see if I can find something for you in a minute. Oh dear, I don't want to know how long he hasn't had anything to eat"/ ‘probably a while… I'll get my things in a minute, I wanted to go to Hank's already today’.

After the two friends had hugged, Twyla looked at Leila for a moment. “hmm, then I probably shouldn't have made someone an offer earlier."/ ‘Offer?’/ ‘I offered him the chance to sleep here because we still have an empty bed…’/ ‘hh… And who?’/ ‘Reggie, from the store by the cows’.

“oh man, Twyla, you're really…“/”what? incorrigible? Maybe, yes. But do you know how he lives? He's lost everything too and now he's hanging out at the gym and has to shower with ice-cold water… I offered him the chance. he should decide for himself whether he wants to come here or not”. Leila looked down at her stomach and stroked it. “hh, all right, but then we really have to think about the supplies. I'm going to bed now…”.

Twyla helped her friend pack the last of her things into her bag. Then she took her downstairs to the door. “Don't make such a face, I'm not out of the world"/ ”I just wanted to sulk one last time, hn. I don't begrudge you your happiness. “/ “Thank you, sweetie.”. One last hug, then Autumn made her way to Hank.

It was time to retire. After they eating a snack together, Twyla went upstairs with Lucky to her room. There, the little dog immediately jumped onto the other bed that was there. “This is much better than sleeping outside, isn't it?”.

Of course, she didn't expect a verbal response from the little one, but she could hear him puffing long and contentedly as he lay down. She looked over at him and smiled. “hnhn, sleep tight…”.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later. While everyone else is asleep, Reginald is still standing in the store looking around. But his thoughts are with Twyla, who had made him this nice offer. “A warm bed… A hot shower… And I could… be near her…” He has had feelings for her ever since he first saw her. But he hid them deep inside himself.

“I… I'd like to bring her something, but you can't get fresh flowers at this season. I don't think she's necessarily the flower type either… I've sometimes seen her sitting on the bench with a book. So she likes to read… But I can't even bring her a good book… what else does she like?”. You have to find out first… and be brave.

Reginald doesn't just look after the store, he also takes part in being there for the cows. “Look, I've got some dried peas for you. You don't want any? Oh come on, they're important protein, at least a little bit… Well, I'll try again tomorrow. But you have to eat…”.

Reginald closed the store sometime after midnight. Who comes by so late to pick up groceries or household items? When he arrived at the gym, he decided to forgo the ice-cold shower this time. Last time, he had been incredibly cold during the night. He didn't want that again, so he lay down in one of the beds upstairs and fell asleep exhausted.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

@greenplumbboblover 😊

[but-make-it-bi]

Monster Mash Part 1/?

Summary: Creature is trying to keep Lisa from going out and Lisa is not having it. Mostly fluff but they do fight  and there are mentions of self harm (scratching) POV is of a ghost OC who lives in their new place 

Content warning: self harm (scratching) ask if there’s something else you want tagged

“What about Frank?” 

“Absolutely not,” Creature said instantly.

“ So touchy,” Lisa teased poking at him with her needle. She was working on the backs of her legs today. Enlisting Creature as her footstool. “ I know you’re just trying not to choose to keep me cooped up, but it’s not gonna work!” He avoided her eyes in reply. “ See you can’t even deny it you know it’s true!” 

“ Of course, I won’t deny it I could never lie. Not to you Lisa”, his voice was croaky now .Strained from the day’s use. 

“ Stop trying to be cute I'm going to scream”, Lisa’s eyes were bright as she spoke. Creature tucked his head. Cowed by her intensity. Lisa pulls away trying to reel in her temper before speaking again. The silence aches.

“ I just don’t get it we’ve moved halfway cross the country, I’ve almost got all my skin back. It’s not like we’re gonna get caught-”

“ I’m not worried about that.”

“ Then what? Is it a sexism thing? I know you’re old but, like c’mon.”

“ No. It is not a sexism thing. I worry because of what happened in the winter and do not brush it off like it was nothing. You were nearly bedridden Lisa!” 

She had been. The cold made her skin tight and painfully itchy. It demanded constant attention every day. But the nights were the worst. In sleep, no amount of willpower could stop the scratching. It was just nails against skin. Over and over. Until they woke the next morning covered in blood.  Lisa was forced to spend the day repairing the damage she’d done. Working diligently. As she pored over herself as if she were a project rather than a person. Hours passed with her contorting in strange ways you’d never seen a human do before. She didn’t even greet Creature when he’d come back to her.

“Yeah, winter was bad.” He scoffed at the understatement of it all. “But that’s why I need to enjoy the spring! If you wanna keep me locked up next winter fine.” He looked extremely hopeful at this. “ No, I take that back I just mean- We’ll discuss it. Don’t pout.”

He pouts.

Lisa’s sigh starts off playful. Then gives way to how truly tired she is. She always gets tired when they fight. 

“ Look I get it ok. Anytime anything bad happens you want to save me from it. You want to make it better for me and a lot of the time you can. This is not one of those times. Some parts of life just suck absolute ass.” Creature snorts in surprise. 

“I don’t need you to protect me from that stuff. I just need you to be with me for it.” Lisa says laying her hand against his cheek . “ So will you please pick a name so we can go out and pretend to be people?”

“ I wasn’t just being difficult Lisa. I really like just being Creature.”

“ Why? ”

“ Because it’s what you called me”

[boogiewrites]

Seeing Stars Pt. 22

Part 1 if you missed it!

The honeymoon phase after a dark period between Star and Eddie. They enjoy the feeling of being together and every corny, cheesy rom-com cliche they can experience, they do. Eddie takes her out on real dates, having fun before the big third date where he plans on diving into the emotions that led them to this high point.

CW: Dates, very fluffy. New bf/gf feelings. Some Steve and Eddie.

It had been dark for hours by the time Eddie’s van pulled into Star's driveway. She’d recently woken up, as Eddie had to find the heart to disturb the sleeping cherub next to him once they reached town. She looked around with half-open eyes still slow from sleep. The quiet white noise of the night crept through the glass and metal of the van as they sit in the sounds of popping and hissing as it cooled from the long drive it’d just politely endured.

“You want me to go in? Or I can go?” He was still giving her options to tell him to leave her the hell alone. He felt deserved it.

“No.” She shook her head clumsily looking toward her door. “I want you here.” She confessed turning to meet his awake and relieved face.

“Good.” His voice was quiet, the van falling silent except for the squeak of his seat as he leaned forward and filled the silence as he leaned forward to kiss her forehead. “I wanna be here.” He wanted to let her know where he stood at the moment. He was craving reassurance so he gave it to her.

He followed her in, watching her look around the space like she hadn’t seen it in a while. She was still wrestling with figuring out how she felt after the emotionally taxing day. After a slow complete turnaround, she stood facing Eddie’s poor postured, uncertain form. He’d switched on a light for her, she hadn’t even done that when she walked in. She didn’t look at him at first, her brow low but not angry, contemplative, and tired caused it.

“Do you need anything? Want me to make tea? Oh, you need to eat. Do I need to order pizza?” his eyes darted, his hands out as if he were waiting to catch something if it fell. Star smiled, her eyes now focused on him. He was more of a mess now than she was. She found it mildly entertaining since it’d felt so reversed lately.

“Leftovers should still be good.” she nodded to the fridge. She took off her sweater leaving a fitted tank behind after switching on her space heater. The cold felt amazing to wake her up and calm her down. “You heat those, I’ll go feed the cats,” she informed him as she tied back her hair.

She returned to Eddie sans shoes and outer layers. His hair was tucked behind his ears as he bent and stared into the oven. “I didn’t set anything on fire yet,” he said as if he was proud of the simple task.

“Of course, you didn’t.” she smiled softly and kicked off her boots, tall thick socks still protecting her legs underneath her long paisley skirt. He was comforted by the tenderness she extended toward him. First, he sat on the kitchen table, looking at the oven when she sat on her bed. He looked at her eventually after feeling her eyes on him. She put her hand on the bed bedside her. “I won’t bite.” He hopped up immediately and happily sank into the soft bed next to her.

“I didn’t want to crowd you,” he muttered, excusing himself with a shake of his head. “I don’t know what you need right now so I’m just…” he held out his hands, his shoulders shrugging.

“Neither do I.” a head shake he chuckled at herself. “I was focused on today for so long it felt like it’d never get here and now it’s over and I don’t know how to feel.”

“It did go well,” he said with an enthusiastic head lean. “It couldn’t have gone better, really.” he was supportive and soft with his brows high over darling cow eyes she’d missed getting to look into. “You were amazing. By the way.” He added quietly as if it might upset her.

“I was.” she nodded and smiled, her eyes still showing tired.

“I’m really proud of you.” he forced his hand out to place it over hers.

“Thanks.” she gave him a nod that told him it was okay that he touched her. “I am too.”

“Good. You should be.” a shy smile stayed as his eyes moved to the oven again. “You know… I was stoked when you said you had leftovers. I’ve missed your food so much.” a bigger smile appeared, curls bouncing as he turned back toward her with more of his trademark oomph.

“Really?” She asked with quirked brows, surprised. She knew he liked her food but she thought maybe it was more of a thankful for a homemade meal sorta deal.

“You kidding me? I love your cooking. It’s my favorite stuff now, you’ve got me hooked.”

“You’re not getting tired of it?” Her voice gave away her surprise. “I have like 3 things I make, that’s it.” She chuckled at herself.

“Never. Only Garfield liked lasagna more than you but I’m a close second. You could make it every day and I wouldn’t complain.”

“I should probably learn something else besides pasta and pizza. To keep it interesting, you know?” She paused with her mouth open before a slow blink. “That way…” she began with her eyes widening from her attempts at being more vulnerable. “…years from now you won't be tired of me making it for you.” She avoided his gaze for a moment before gathering up the bravery to have him see the cautious optimism in her eyes. At first, he was super soft, with eyes the size of dinner plates, and deeply touched by the underlying suggestion of her words.

“Years?” He whispered. She nodded wordlessly. “You want to be around me that long?” A huff of air, half-laugh half-nerves escaped him.

“Longer.” Her eyes relaxed, her cheeks rising in a warm smile.

“I can do that.” He nodded quickly.

“Yeah? You can forgive me after-“ she hesitated. “After the past week, the argument, my past?”

“Forgive you? I'm the one that should be on my knees begging for forgiveness here.” He looked at the ground as if he contemplated doing just that.

“Well…” she let out a little groan. “We were both wrong.” She admitted. “I should’ve been more vulnerable with you.”

“I shouldn’t have made demands like that. I thought a shitty ex was like… my parents, ya know? Or any number of domestic abuse things I’ve seen. I figure it was the usual shitty attitude and hitting your girlfriend and drinking too much. That old chestnut. I didn’t know how bad it was. I’m sorry. If I’d known I’d have never acted like that.”

“I never told you. How could you know?”

“I could've believed you when you said it was that bad. I’m sorry.”

“I should’ve told you too, though. When you want to be in a healthy relationship with someone you tell them things like that so they understand.”

“It helps. But I let my past get to me too! I just…” he swallowed audibly and wrinkled his nose. “I’ve been a secret too many times you know? And I gave people every reason I could to be with me like I was a person and not some object to be used to fill a need. And then when I realized I loved you it all came to a head and I got so angry because I knew you loved me too and it was like all that past shit came back and kicked me in my heart's balls.” He groaned and raked his lip a little. Star let out a laugh at his explanation which startled him.

“I’m sorry! Your heart's balls was really funny. The rest of it wasn’t. Sorry, I’m a little loopy you’re gonna make me laugh unintentionally.” She rubbed her face. “Thank you for explaining it. That makes much more sense.”

“And now your stuff makes sense to me.”

“Yeah all the stuff you heard, you can guess how he talked to me and why I thought I’d fuck everything up. I’ve never cared about someone like this and it scared me because if I make it real then I can lose it.”

“Tell me about it, I’m still scared shitless about it. This is new for me too.” He admitted and finally took her hand into his.

“So we were both wrong. That’s a very mature conclusion I think.”

“I’m proud of us.” He offered with a smile. “We got all the bad stuff out in the open now.” They both felt the weight they’d been carrying for so long begin to lift. “Well except one thing.” He said with a grin.

“What?” She asked seriously.

“Florence?”

“Oh my god.” She let out a laugh that hunched her over. “Yeah. That’s my government name.” She nodded and let out a noisy sigh of relief. “I hate it, I always have. So a few years back I changed it.”

“You hate it?” He asked with a confused tone.

“Yeah, it’s so… old-fashioned. I feel like an old lady.”

“I think it’s lovely,” Eddie said quietly, a subtle smile as he gazed at her lovingly.

“You do?” She looked frightened, perhaps it was the extreme surprise. She’d never been told that before.

“It’s a classic. It’s kinda stoic. Sounds like an important duchess or something. Lady Florence.” He paused and saw her cheeks blush. “Don’t get me wrong Star is badass and cool as hell. I would choose Star if I had to choose between those two but Florence isn’t bad at all. They both suit you.”

“I can’t believe I was scared of being with you.” The honest response given as a gift in the form of a content sigh caught Eddie off guard. “You’re the sweetest man in the world.” She shook her head and smiled at him.

“Wu- psh- I- uh don’t know about all that.” He looked down flustered like he had been when they’d first started fooling around. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek.

“I do.” She said it so confidently, demurely as she touched his cheek.

“I’ve got an idea.” He perked up. “I want to do this right. We started this out a little backward, right? I think we should reverse it. ”

“What do you mean?”

“I think we should start over. I can ask you out properly. Like I should have. I’ll take you on dates. I’ll take you somewhere nice. I’ll woo you properly. Like you deserve.”

“What do you mean by start over? Aren’t we a little far into this to start at square 1?”

“Not completely, I mean I wanna date you. Ask you out like I wanted to last year. You know, take you to the movies and hold your hand. Walk you to class and kiss you between bells. Have you next to me at lunch. I wanna give you all that. I wanna do this right this time.”

He watched her face soften impossibly so, he’d never seen that expression before.

“I’d love that.” She agreed. “But for tonight, can we be the dysfunctional idiots who sleep together and keep each other company more than people who just started dating should? I don’t want to be alone yet.”

“You couldn’t get me to leave tonight.” He grinned. “We’ll start at school tomorrow, kay? Tonight I’m gonna eat your food and cuddle up and sleep like the dead.”

“Sounds perfect.” She cooed.

-

They woke up together. Which was blissful enough by itself. But this morning they both realized they didn’t have the nasty cloud of negativity floating around them from the moment they woke. It was sweet and gentle. Eddie kissed her cheek as they both moved around the trailer with muscle memory getting ready in tandem.

Eddie guarded her like it was his job. Which in his mind, it was. He walked her to her classes and sat next to her again in the ones they had together. The usual close body language resumed at lunch as they flirted and got involved in the discussions. Their legs touched under the table, scooted as close to the corners as they could, getting in any physical touch they could while being around one another. Everyone felt it in their group. Things had fallen back into place. They left lunch together early, he was going to walk her to her class again. The guys left talked among themselves, grateful but beyond curious. At least it was peaceful again.

Eddie popped up next to her as she gathered her things to leave for the day, hip to hip as they chatted with ease to his van.

“Wait right here.” He asked with a precocious smile as he took her books, already in his arms, and sat them in the van. She did as he told, watching him jog back to her and wipe his sweaty palms on his jeans. “This isn’t exactly the same. It's my van instead of your car but, it’ll do.” He nodded. She stood with expectant eyes as he cleared his throat. “I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime?” He asked with such genuine nervousness it made her heart stutter at how precious he was.

“Like a date?” She smirked. He saw her smile overtake her whole face, a soft girlish laugh followed that made him openly swoon.

“A date-date. I pick you up, we watch a movie and I worry if my hands are too sweaty to hold yours or if I should just be a man and put my arm around your shoulders the whole time. The whole shebang.” He shook his head animatedly as he spoke with a smile that beamed like hers.

“Will you buy me Good and Plenty’s at the concession stand?”

“Disgusting choice but yes.” He agreed with a laugh.

“Then yes. It’s a date.”

“Yeah?” He asked again with a crooked smile, stepping closer.

“Yeah.” She nodded and reached out to take his hand. “Thought you’d never ask.”

“Well, to be honest, I’m a huge idiot so it took a while.” He grinned and stood almost chest-to-chest with her.

“You’re smart, pretty boy. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” She bumped him with her shoulder.

“I missed this.” He whispered, smile still joyful but more subdued in his moment of reflection.

“I did too. You don’t have to miss it anymore though.”

“I mean I’m gonna miss it while I wait for this date. So you wanna go tonight?” He got a higher-pitched laugh out of her.

“Awfully short notice.”

“You took a few days off right? Might as well use them while we can.”

“You’re right. I wonder if I’ll ever get used to that.” She teased.

“Take your time, I’ve got forever.” He sighed contently.

“Romantic.” She muttered and scrunched her nose. “If we’re going on a date… does that mean we’re dating?” Eddie tilted his head and reminded her of how much he could resemble a puppy at times.

“Dating as in-girlfriend and boyfriend?” He clarified.

“Yeah.” She answered obviously.

“I think that’s up to you. I like to think you know where I stand.” His eyes softened with hesitation, worry for a moment.

“Ask me. Properly. Like you said you wanted to.” He lit up and put his hand on her cheek.

“Star?” He began with a slow-building smile. “Would you bestow upon me the honor of being your boyfriend?” She couldn’t help but chortle at the nerdy delivery. But that’s who she was in love with. A total dork.

“Yes.” She put her hand on his forearm.

“You’re my girlfriend now?” He said with antsy excitement.

“I hope so.”

“You’re ready for that? That’s okay? This is- good?” He asked quietly, nervously now holding her face in his hands.

“I am.” She nodded. “Did you doubt it?” She asked apologetically.

“I’ve wanted this for so long.” He confessed. “Since the moment I saw you.”

“You’re laying it on pretty heavy there, babe.” She smirked but giggled, trying to relax and let herself enjoy the tender clumsy moment between them.

“It’s all true. I was a goner from that night at the party.”

“I was too.”

“I was admittedly going pretty heavy-handed but now you’re straight-up lying.” He poked fun at her, bumping his forehead into hers.

“It’s true though.”

“You’re serious?”

“I didn’t remember you but I dreamed about you.”

“Please don’t be lying.” He said softly.

“I’m not. Drunk me knew a good thing when she found it. I dreamed about you before I saw you again. Tried to draw you too. You can look in my old notebooks, they’re dated, you’re there.”

“Star.” He whispered a blush creeping up his cheeks.

“I know.” She smiled, her tone apologetic. “I’m done fighting it. I’ve received every sign possible that I’m supposed to be with you. So I am.” She put her hands to his waist. “I’m all in now, Eddie. When it comes to you and me? I’m not running anymore. I promise. I’m not gonna push away something as special as you. You are a gift from the universe and I intend to try to take as good care of you, of us, as I can. Like a gift should be.” She was so earnest, her face expressive and set tight and apologetic as she pushed her chin toward him, speaking so the conversation was kept private.

Eddie's heart was about to beat its way out of his chest.

“I was gonna wait to kiss you and try to do this properly with the date stuff but please can I kiss you right now?” His hands were warm on her face. His voice rushed out desperately and low as he leaned toward her. Her face shifted to something resembling a milk-drunk kitten, high off affection and feeling the love for her pouring out of him. She nodded and met him halfway, a kiss that was far too intimate for the environment it was happening in. But nothing about this was appropriate so why start now? It went on for while, only moving forward so he could put an arm on her back to pull her to him properly.

As all this was happening the entire Hellfire Club was standing at the end of the parking lot. Too far away to hear but close enough to see the interaction go down. They’d been quietly making bets.

As they saw Eddie pull her in and kiss the hell out of her they let out a mix of groans and aw.

“Okay, so it was a good conversation.”

“I told you they were too chummy today. They’re back together.”

“Were they ever actually together?”

“They seem like they are now.”

“That does seem like a relationship kiss. Not a friend kiss.”

“Damn he’s really going for it.” One chuckled.

“I’m so proud.” Dustin beamed.

“You’re so weird Henderson.” They laughed.

“They’re still going.”

“It’s kinda sweet,” Lucas smirked, feeling nostalgic about Max's reincorporation back into the smaller friend group.

“It’s super sweet! Who knew the guy had it in him? This is downright romantic!”

“I wouldn’t call kissing in a school parking lot romantic, kid.” Gareth grumbled.

“Where isn’t important, look at them. That’s love right there.”

“Oh! He’s pulling away!”

“5 bucks says she slaps him.”

“Easiest five bucks I’ve ever made.”

When they pressed their foreheads together and soft laughs were shared before another much shorter press of lips occurred.

“Aw look at 'em.”

“Gross.”

“Jealous much?”

“Shut up!”

“Okay, they’re leaving now, act casual.”

They turned and pretended not to be watching. Opened notebooks and started in the middle of fake conversations as they all watched the two love birds walk around the van, Eddie running to open her door for her before running back around to jump in.

He didn’t notice them watching as he drove out of the parking lot.

“He’s even letting her pick the music.” Dustin cooed as a melodic guitar could be heard from inside instead of the usual heavy thrash beat.

“Damn. He sold out.”

“Making a girl happy isn’t selling out.”

“Not that you’d know anything about that.”

“Alright dick, too far.”

Everything was right back where it was supposed to be.

-

Eddie was in his van, hands hanging on the steering wheel as he growled. He was outside of Star's dwelling and in the short drive to her place from his he felt like he’d sweated through his shirt already.

“It’s freezing what the hell is my problem?” He griped in a high-pitched voice. He calmed down, winging out his jacket to let the vents hit him. He realized that he was nervous. With a face that looked annoyed outwardly, he wiped his palms on his jeans. “You made this woman cry, you’ve made her cum. There is no reason you should be nervous! It’s a date to the movies. This is middle school shit.” He talked aloud to himself. He didn’t remember the last time he’d primped himself so much. He had fussed with his hair and made sure he put deodorant everywhere. “This is good right? I should be nervous?” He asked himself, eyes to the rearview mirror. They’d skipped all these bits of relationship ships. The dates, formalities, and gifts. The waiting to kiss and the PDA. These just so happened to be all the parts that made Eddie nervous. He figured he was making up for lost time.

He stands at her door, hearing her music from inside. He wore a sweater she made him, plain black with red stitching. A denim jacket hung boxy on his lean frame as he shifted, suddenly second-guessing how he was standing.

Star appeared slowly from behind the door she pulled open. She was also the victim of the sudden onset of unsuspected nervousness. There her boyfriend stood, flowers in his hand and his curls practically frizz-free. He’d cleaned off his white sneakers, almost shining with polish and a black sweater looked neat with his mismatched denim shades.

“Hey, Eddie.” Simply saying his name made her lips turn into a smile now.

“Hello, beautiful.” He gave her an almost cheesy smile but the dimples that appeared made her want to kiss him.

“Let me get my coat on, come on.” She ushered him in.

“Brought you these.”

“They’re gorgeous, thank you.” She cooed, smelling the flowers and leaning in to kiss his cheek.

“What about you? I’ve not seen this before.” he wasn’t coy about looking her up and down as she bent over to grab a vase from under the sink.

“That’s because I’ve not worn it.” she turned to look over her shoulder at him, pleased he seemed to be staring at her legs covered in warm, dark sheer black tights over a very 60s mod-inspired mini dress.

“Why not? You look amazing in it. Legs for days.” He grinned.

“Didn’t have any hot dates to get all dressed up for did I?” She wrinkled her nose affectionately at him and went to grab her leather jacket. They looked like a matching pair, in their black and leather. “I missed it,” she sighed happily. “A lot.”

“I’ll take you out every day if I get to see more of this.”

“Maybe I’ll wear my little dresses and stuff again. I didn’t because I didn’t want the attention but if I’ve got you…” she lilted with a smile.

“I’ll make sure no one else says a god damned thing to you looking sexy as hell. I’m gonna make it so obvious I’m your boyfriend and you’re off the market you’re gonna be sick of me.”

“I’d like to see you try.” She challenges. “I mean really, I wanna experience that. The happy PDA, the whole thing you know? I’ve never had it. Not for real.” He saw the vulnerability he’d longed for in her face.

“You’ve had boyfriends though.”

“Eh, a few?” Shrugged. “And by a few, I mean a few like 3?” she counted on her fingers.

“Seriously?” his chin dropped and his eyes widened.

“I know. I’ve had a lot of one-night stands. I’ve not had romantic relationships where it’s all…. Nice ya know? Sweet and healthy with the little stuff like holding hands and all that. Dates were always a means to an end.”

“The end being in bed?”

“Pretty much.”

“And I thought I knew everything about you.”

“That’s the only good thing about me not oversharing. I’ll seem interesting for longer now.” She laughed.

“You are interesting.” He took her hand and pulled her to him. “I don’t think you have to worry about being boring, sweetheart. You’re gonna keep me on my toes I know it.” He smiles and tucked her hair behind her ear.

“I’ve-“ she huffed out a nervous laugh and looked down, he could see a blush coming across her cheeks. “Can I ask stupid questions and you not make fun of me?” She asked with a scrunched face.

“Me? Make fun of you? Always! I mean never.” He cheesed. “If you’re feeling sensitive just warn me and I won’t give you any shit. Promise.” he added candidly.

“Then I’m warning you.”

“Consider me warned. Serious face.” He swiped his hand down his face to take away his smile.

“Is it supposed to feel so…” she paused and smiled, tilting her head and thinking. “Whenever you talk about being together in the future. Long-term stuff. I just feel so…” she stutters and finds her words. “Is it supposed to feel so… good?”

“Oh, baby.” He cooed and cupped her cheek.

“I said not to make fun of me!” She giggled and hid her face in his chest.

“I’m not! I swear! I can’t help but act like you’re the sweetest woman alive when you say that shit. Makes my teeth hurt you’re so sweet.” He lovingly teased, rubbing his jaw. “It is babe, it’s supposed to feel good. It’s security. It’s… stability. Trust. All those things.”

“All those very important things.”

“Extremely important. I think it’s a new one for both of us.”

“Like our first adult relationship.”

“Good way to put it.”

“I feel like it’s so much so fast but it’s not. This has been going on since September.” She chuckled.

“Half a year.”

“That makes me feel better. I don’t want to be those annoying girls who are always in love and getting married 1 month in you know?”

“Nah, you’re not that impulsive. I had to work for it.” He smiled and kissed her cheek.

“Made you run a fucking triathlon.” She laughed.

“And I’d do it again.” He said earnestly with a smile. She let herself openly swoon, soft eyes and a big rise and fall of her chest. “Let's go on our first date then, huh? Ya ready?”

“Always for you.” She picketed her lips at him.

“Ah, c’mon you rascal.”

Eddie took her up on her challenge. He ran to hold doors open for her, starting with the van in her driveway. He offered to hold her purse while she ran into the bathroom. He held her hand in line for tickets.

“Two tickets for me and the lovely lady, here.” Was how he decided to tell the indifferent ticket person he wanted to buy.

He carried the snacks, he let her pick the seats. She crossed her legs towards him, huddled in close to whisper into his ear during the movie. She made the choice for him, putting her cheek to his arm and wrapping her arms around his to hold his hand while they smushed together in the old creaky theater seats. He got to rest his hand on her thigh while she played with his rings and mindlessly traced her fingers on his hands. She got to indulge in any impulse had now. She didn’t have to stop and wonder if it was too much. She could kiss his cheek or hold his hand or tell him how pretty he looked in the low light. It was like a whole new world had opened to her and she had never felt freer.

Eddie again insisted she never open a door for herself in his presence as he ran around the van to let her out. She thought it was a bit much but she wasn’t going to stop him. They stop in front of her door, him stopping outside it, halting her from entering from the tug of his hand in hers.

“I had a really great time tonight.” He said as he watched her soften up and smile.

“So did I. I had fun. Couldn’t ask for a better first date.” She kidded.

“Would you wanna go out again?” He asked, still playing by the rules.

“I want to go on so many dates with you that we lose count.” She leaned in and shook her head.

“Tomorrow. I’ll take you out to eat. Somewhere nice.”

“Nice? Are you sure? I really do like the hamburger hut, you don’t have to impress me, Eddie, you’ve already done it.”

“I’m doing this properly.” He whispered and kissed her forehead. “Speaking of- I had a suggestion.” She gave him her full attention with big doting eyes. “I know when people date, in high school I mean and we are almost out but - anyway- guys usually give their girlfriends their class rings or their letterman jackets? And I don’t have either of those but I wanted to see if you wanted something of mine? To have to like… wear ya know?”

“Besides the Star?” She asked reaching up to fiddle with the stone around her neck.

“Yeah, something that people would know was me. Like… these rings are too big for you- I probably have some smaller older ones at home if you wanted. You have a lot of rings already though.” He rushed through his words nervously. “I was thinking more like… my vest?” Her eyes went wide.

“Your vest? Are you sure? That’s like your whole thing. It’s YOURS.”

“Well…” he half shrugged and winced nervously. “I’m yours now so…I wanted to see if you wanted to wear it.”

“It’s so unmistakably you.” She said as if it were a reason she shouldn’t.

“That’s sorta the point. I want people to know we’re together.” She nodded slowly, understanding.

“How a letterman jacket has the guy's name across the back…” she hummed and nodded. “That’s a really smart substitution.” She praised him and saw his nerves break and a smile appear. “If you’re willing to part with it I’d love to wear it. It’s cool as hell.” She chuckled.

“Really?” He perked up with high brows

“Of course! I can be your little badass metal girlfriend.” She giggled more girlishly as he clumsily moved to take it off. “I’ll look like I match my big bad metalhead boyfriend.” She cooed as he stood catching his breath and handing it to her. “Ugh, I’m gonna be able to smell you all day.” She hummed and brought it up to her face. “That’s the good stuff.” She closed her eyes and smacked her lips.

“Feral girlfriend.” He chuckled and sighed, feeling his chest all fuzzy.

“All the good stinks are in this.” She nodded and whiffed again making him laugh. He groaned playfully and grabbed her up in his arms, forcing her head to angle up to his.

“My little gremlin.” He beamed down at her and she giggled back with the same adoring smile.

“We loves the vest, we do.” She warped her voice to something goofy and as Gollum-like as she could make it. “Master gave us his precious he did.” Her voice popped and cracked and Eddie didn’t know whether to laugh from joy or cry for the same reason.

“You’re my precious. We loves her, we does.” He cracked his voice back all garbled as he leaned in to kiss her. They snorted and laughed against each other’s lips. “I wasn’t gonna kiss you. First date and all that. But you had to pull out the Lord of the Rings references.”

“You can’t resist!” She said dramatically.

“I can’t. You’re so hot when you’re nerdy.”

“You're hot all the time.” She sassed back.

“Even more so when I’m nerdy though right? Sooo sexy when I’m pissed off about a fantasy game?” He joked.

“Sooo sexy.” She snorted a laugh. “The sexiest.”

“That’s what I thought.” He grinned and kissed her again. Something sweet and uncomplicated. Something he thought he could still get away with despite it being the first date. “I’ll pick you up at the normal time in the morning?”

“You’re not gonna stay?” She asked looking a little letdown.

“Don’t look at me like that baby, I’ll break.”

“That’s the point.” She pouted.

“Not gonna stay after the first date. Gonna go home and jerk off thinking about you, sleep and wait to see you in the morning.”

“After the second date?”

“Still too soon.”

“Playing hard to get. I can respect that.” She puckered her lips and nodded playfully. “Third date. Right? That’s the rule.”

“I can agree to the third date. I can stay after the third.”

“So after our third date tomorrow…”

“No! Sneaky thing!” He pinched her sides and made her laugh. “So bad.” He tsked and shook his head.

“Can I get a little baby goodbye kiss tonight? Tomorrow I can get a big girl kiss?” She bat her lashes up at him.

“Deal.” He nodded. “This is goodnight then, baby.”

“Night Eddie.” She whispered as he leaned in, a delicate hand to her hair as a single press lingered. “Can’t wait to see you in the morning.”

“Not more than me, sweetheart.”

They’d become everything they’d mocked in the past. Sitting in gaggles with friends and high-pitched voices mocking their smooching peers. They were those peers now. A lesson in not making fun of something unless you understand it.

-

Both were up early the next morning, Star more so than Eddie by default. No matter how little of a morning person she was, he would always be less so. Star spent the majority of her morning trying to plan her outfit around Eddie’s battle vest. She wanted to find some balance of herself while being draped in the Munson Crest. She also quickly concluded that she wanted to look as attractive as possible while wearing it. She’d forgone the male attention purposely before, but now, wearing something that showed she was specifically under the protection of the Eddie Munson, not just a Hellfire Club t-shirt, she knew that anyone daring or dumb enough to act or speak on her appearance would be deserving of a brutal insult or a punch to the nose. She was reveling in the feelings of belonging to someone, exploring how healthy attachment and possessiveness felt for the first time. The thought of Eddie proud with his arm around her, her in his vest, and a hand in his back pocket made her feel warm and tingly from her chest to her neglected lower extremities. Since she’d struck the coy deal of friends who fuck with Eddie, she’d not gone long without getting the attention her body craved. She was figuring out a new aspect of herself where her emotional happiness was fulfilling her physical needs. She figured she’d have to knock the dust off her vibrator soon, but last night she was so tickled with kisses and sweet words that she snuggled right into bed and fell asleep without having to wear herself out. She floated through this new, healthy version of her mind as she threw articles of clothing around the trailer. She settled on a tight long sleeve black shirt under the vest, showing off her assets. She chose a pair of high-waisted golden corduroy flares and her well-loved boots. She matched the patch on the back and still felt like herself. In most anything else she’d felt like she was wearing an Eddie costume, and that wasn’t what she was going for. She still wanted her own identity, she never wanted to amalgamate into the same person as him, at least not personality-wise. Physically on the other hand…

She heard the rumble of his van into the driveway, she made a sound she was almost ashamed of, an excited chirp at the sight of him. He bound out of the vehicle as bouncy as she was, as she practically skipped to the door to open it before he could knock. She stepped out and jogged toward the door and bounded against his chest, arms around his neck into a kiss on sight. His eyes went wide at first, surprised before they fluttered shut, his arms finding their proper place around her body and squeezing her back. She didn’t deepen it, knowing he’d most likely scold her, but she did push her forehead to his and stay there for a moment.

“Mornin’ beautiful.” he grinned. “You happy to see me or somethin’?”

“Missed you,” she admitted with a warm smile.

“Aw, babe.” he groaned and blushed. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to you being so…” he sighed contently. “Sweet.”

“You better. You’re the one that has to deal with it.” she kissed his cheek and pulled away. He kept his hands on her waist.

“Let me see what I’ve got here.” he said suggestively, touching her hips before he instructed her to give him a spin to see the rest of her with a twirling finger.

“You like it?”

“I knew you were gonna look great in the vest because you look great in everything but damn.” he rubbed his chin.

“I wanted to look good so everyone can see what you’re gettin’ and they aren’t.” she let out a deep chuckle, fully amused.

“I guess I can say this now but god damn I love it when you wear pants.” he laughed. “I love the skirts, baby, don’t get me wrong. Especially with the easy access and all but getting to see the shape of you in these tight little numbers really does it for me. Ugh, work of art.” he gave a kiss to his fingers as if he’d eaten something delicious. “Put this ass in a museum. No, fuck that a temple. Worship this thing. Make sacrifices to it.” he made hungry sounds rubbing his hands together before stretching out his arms and doing grabby hands in the air while she turned to look over her shoulder, showing it off for him.

“Don’t get yourself worked up if you’re gonna make the rule that we can’t do anything about it.” she scolded, tapping his nose and batting her lashes at him.

“Too late, sugar.” he grinned and yanked her into his arms as their laughs melded together, pressing his lips to hers. “What’d I do to deserve a goddess like you, huh?”

“I think we’ll wait until the third date to get into all that. I’ll get all worked up.” she giggled as he smooched her cheek noisily, the threat of a bite with his teeth as he groaned playfully.

“Sweet, sweet baby,” he murmured into her cheek, making her blush. “You ready to head out? I’ve got a whole day of showin’ you off to get to.” he looked down at her, smoothing down her naturally wavy hair. She gave him sleepy, happy eyes, soaking in the tender affection.

“I feel like some high society girl announcing she’s off the market at some party.” she laughed.

“I can announce you as you come in if you like.” he cleared his throat. “Lady Florence welcomes you here to gaze upon her mesmerizing visage so she can announce her partnership with the lowsome fool Edward Munson. He is but a jester but he is big of heart. And other things he’s told.” he said loudly with his chest, playing a fake trumpet.

“To be a Dungeon Master you’re an awful lot like a bard.” she chuckled, shooshing him and tapping his arms down with her hands.

“Mmm keep talkin’ D and D and I might go back on my third date rule.” he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Take me school you nerd, before I bully you.” she scrunched her nose and hopped up to kiss him.

“What if I’m into that?” he stuck out his tongue as he followed her to the passenger side of the van.

“I’m counting on it.”

-

From the moment they crossed onto school property, Eddie took his enjoyment of staking his claim to Star at every chance. Much to his delight and relief, she did the same. She snuggled in as they walked, arm over her shoulders and her hand in his back pocket. He’d give her a peck before he jetted off to get to his class after walking her to hers. He passed her notes with no importance in their contents, only doodles and hearts and light-hearted insults back and forth. So it shouldn’t have surprised her when he yanked her into his lap at the lunch table. She held in her sound of surprise, having been focused on setting her tray on the table. Her arm naturally went behind his head to catch herself. He planted a kiss on her that made her smile into it, knowing most of the student body was watching.

“Come here often?” he grinned, looking up at her adoringly, his hand holding her in on her thigh and around her back.

“Not often enough,” she smirked, her face hidden, turned, from the audience of their friends. She leaned in to kiss him again, hand on his cheek. “Am I allowed to eat or do I have to sit here?” she asked mindlessly fussing with a few frizzy stray curls in his hair.

“You can do both.” he grinned before giving her butt a subtle smack and moving her from his lap.

“So,” Jeff smirked, the whole group moving into a subdued titter as they sat and turned to their food, their display of affection having passed. At Jeff’s voice, they both looked up, bright-eyed.

“I take it this is… a thing now?”

“She’s wearing his freakin’ vest of course it’s a THING.” Eddie smirked, taking his time responding as Star chuckled silently, starting in on her food.

“Go ahead,” she said with a nod to Eddie. “Announce it, bard.” she giggled.

“We’re dating now. Yeah.” Eddie’s smile tried to contain itself but couldn’t be tamed.

“Look at that face.” Dustin teased affectionately.

“Shut up,” Eddie muttered, turning his face down but still wearing a smile. “I’m... happy. Alright? Don’t give me shit about it.” he chuckled. Star reached out and held his hand on top of the table.

“Don’t tease the baby or I’ll have to defend him now. It’s the in the contract he had me sign.” Star said with a smile.

“You signed a-?”

“She’s joking.” Dustin clarified to Mike.

“Do we get to know what happened?”

“I asked her out and she said yes.” Eddie shrugged.

“Bullshit. You two were fighting. Then you were both gone Monday.”

“And we saw you making out in the parking lot.” Dustin chuckled.

“We had a fight and we made up. We both apologized. Then he asked me out and I said yes. So we’re together now. Officially. Boyfriend and girlfriend the whole thing.” Star explained with one hand, the other being doted on by Eddie.

“Letting her wear the vest, huh?” Gareth smirked.

“She looks better in it than I do.” Eddie shrugged, a precocious smile as he tried to focus on eating.

“No one’s arguing that.” Gareth joked. Everyone laughed, the lack of animosity and subtle support was a calming spell across the group.

“I’m glad you two figured your shit out. One less thing to worry about.” Dustin gave his stamp of approval.

“Yeah, it’s about damn time.” Mike grinned.

“You two look happy. It’s nice.” Jeff smiled at Star.

“I am. We are.” Star said perkily. “Sorry for dragging you all through the mud with us getting to this point. That’s on me.” she gave an apologetic cheesy smile.

“We knew it sure as hell wasn’t Eddie saying no to YOU.” Gareth laughed.

“Gee thanks for the support, man, love you too.” Eddie said with a nodding chin toward Gareth.

“You know I'm right.” he retorted with a smirk.

“You are.” Star nodded. “It’s not that I didn’t want to. I’ve liked Eddie for… a long time I just-”

“I KNEW IT!” Dustin gave a victorious fist pump.

“You did. You were right.” Star rolled her eyes and shoulder-bumped him. “I had a really, supremely shitty ex-boyfriend who ruined men for me.”

“To put it lightly.” Eddie chimed in.

“So I didn’t want a boyfriend when I showed up. But then this beautiful dork wore me down.” she chuckled and pinched Eddie’s cheek.

“Worth it.” he grinned and lifted her hand in his to kiss the back of it.

“Now we get to deal with the PDA. All this lovey shit.” Gareth made a sick sound.

“Better than them fighting.”

“Is it though?” he retorted.

-

Star pried Eddie off her so she could get inside and go get ready for a fancy date. She’d never been on a date to a nice restaurant. Granted, it was just the nicest place in Hawkins, which didn't measure up to much but she was still excited. Eddie was a wreck of nerves, knowing only one guy to call for help in an instance such as this.

“Hey loverboy, I heard the big news.” Steve’s crooning voice praised Eddie.

“News travels fast, shit.”

“Once Dustin knows…” Eddie could hear the laugh in Steve’s voice.

“You’re never far behind. I’ve gathered that.” Eddie chucked. “I need some help for tonight if you’re available.”

“Already? You just started dating man and you’re-”

“No. Nothing bad.” Eddie laughed at Steve’s immediate disappointment.

“Good. I was about to say-”

“I’m taking her to Enzo’s.”

“Look at you Munson, we’ll make a gentleman out of you yet.”

“Very cute.” Eddie rolled his eyes. “I wanted to take her somewhere nice. And that’s the nicest place without driving an hour both ways so- anyway I won’t pretend like I know what the hell I’m doing. I don’t do dates. I don’t do fancy restaurants. I'm way out of my element here, man.” Eddie cleared his throat, preparing himself to ask a favor. “But you… you’re Steve Harrington, you’ve been on more dates already than I’ll ever go on. You know fancy. I need that knowledge. What can I do to bribe it from you?”

“Man, just ask like a normal person.” Steve laughed. “Hey, dude I got a hot date, any tips?”

“Hey dude, I got a hot date. Got any tips?” Eddie mockingly asked.

“I’d love to help. This is much better than trying to figure out what the hell Dustin talks about with his radios. THIS I know.”

“Bequeath me with your wisdom, King Steve.”

“Former King. King adjacent now.” he chuckled. “And.. bequeath? Isn’t that when air gets inside a girl and-”

“That’s queef!” Eddie laughed and leaned away from the phone. “BEqueATH is to gift someone something. You’re in a totally different zip code man. I was keeping it PG.” Eddie snorted.

“Ohhh.” Steve nodded, mouth open. “I was wondering why you- never mind - you wanna come over? I’m better in person than over the phone.”

“Don’t sell your phone voice short Stevie, youv’e got me soaking my panties over here.” Eddie teased and made kissy noises into the receiver.

“You’re a married man now Eddie, behave yourself.” Steve snorted in amusement.

“Oh, she thinks the same thing.” Eddie giggled.

“Wh-huh?” Steve did a double-take despite being on the phone.

“See you soon big boy!” Eddie shouted as he put down the receiver.

“God he’s such a weirdo.”

-

“I’m gonna look like a kid in his dad’s clothes no matter what.” Eddie grumped, looking in Steve’s mirror as he put on one of his button-up shirts.

“If you keep saying that then yeah. It’s about confidence. You’re cock of the walk any other time. You’re loud and opinionated and everyone else can eat a dick about it.”

“I’m a married man Steve, stop it.” Eddie blushed and cleared his throat.

“What is it about some buttons that makes you not confident, huh?”

“They aren’t made of baby elephant tusks. You know I said strictly ivory from BABIES, Steven.”

“Shut up.” Steve laughed. “I’m not THAT kind of rich.”

“Your dad literally has a tusk in his office.”

“Yeah don’t tell anyone about that. They’re starting to crack down on that stuff.” Steve smirked.

“Well, he’s a lawyer I think he’ll be fine.” Eddie rolled his eyes.

“So the shirt? It’s black. That’s…your color. I mean I don’t think that’s what is the most flattering but we’re not going to get into that.”

“Are we not?” Eddie raised an eyebrow.

“If you showed up in something besides black she might not recognize you is what I'm saying.” Steve joked. “So best stick to black. Baby steps.” Steve nodded and fussed with Eddie’s collar.

“I feel like a poser in this.”

“What do the metal guys wear to their big award shows?”

“Leather.” Eddie nodded. Steve blinked and frowned. Not the answer he expected.

“Anything else? They wear a suit jacket?”

“Sometimes. But like, a t-shirt under it. Or a vest over a shirt with a print on it. Usually all dark colors. Black, duh but also navy.”

“Alright now we’re getting somewhere. We’re gonna try something else.”

“Ugh, you’ve been talking about this the whole time!” Eddie whined. “Now we’re doing something else?

“Do you trust me?”

“When it comes to this, yes.”

“You know words hurt, Eddie.” Steve fake pouted.

“Yes, I explicitly trust you in all situations, dimensions, and realities Steve Harrington. Is that what you wanna hear?”

“Honestly? Yeah.” he gave him a perky smile.

“Fine. Dress me up like a fuckin’ doll. I need to look good.”

“Now you’re open to taking orders?” Steve laughed and shoved Eddie’s shoulder.

“That is usually reserved for Star but play your cards right and I might let a handsome man like you give me a few suggestions.” Eddie cheesed and made Steve blush but he shook his head and the thought away. “I mean you’ve got me topless already.” Eddie giggled and covered his nipples.

“You’ve been begging for it, admit it.” Steve laughed, putting his hands on Eddie’s back. “C’mon, let’s find you something else.” He said shoving Eddie towards his closet.

-

Star and Eddie were content with their final decisions. They both stood in front of a full length mirror and nodded in approval. They both went simple and of course, black.

Star had gone vintage, no surprise there. She’d pulled out a tight black dress that was worthy of the sexiest woman at the jazz club in the 60s. It went right above her knee, cut in and snug. The sleeves to her elbows and a high modest neckline. After getting ready she took her hair out of its rollers and chose red lipstick with little else pulling attention from them makeup-wise. She kept looking at her body in the mirror, realizing how much it’d changed. Maybe it was getting older, or the comfort she’d found in food while staying in so much with Eddie. She’d gained the relationship weight before the relationship began, she chuckled to herself. Her hips were wider, her chest hanging a little more, and a slight roundness to her lower belly to balance out the much larger rounding of her ass. She didn’t look like the girls in magazines, stick thin and sculpted but all the great painters she admired had immortalized women who looked like her in their paintings, and that had always made her accept her shape at the bare minimum. But the way Eddie talked about her body now, she found herself reaching above the minimum and learning to like it.

So the way his shoulders slumped as soon as he laid eyes on her, more flowers to add to her quickly growing collection in his hand made her feel as pretty as she ever had.

“Jesus Christ, Star.” He whispered, eyes not knowing where to look, afraid he’d miss something. “Hell, baby you look…” he took a deep breath and blew a raspberry with his lips. “Is there a word that means better than perfect?” he asked with a shrug. Star beamed, slinking right up to him and putting a hand on his chest.

“Can’t find any words in that big brain of yours?” she cooed, twirling a stray curl hanging down by his face. Steve had begged him to wear it back, Eddie almost fist-fought him over it, but Steve and his undeniable charm won out. They’d compromised when he let Eddie pull some hair down around his face.

“Not when I’m looking at you.” he gave a dopey grin. She looked down, putting space between their bodies to whistle.

“And what about you? You look like some rockstar.” she giggled, her hand slipping over the black button-up he eventually settled on, and a pinstripe vest over top of it. The vest somehow made him not hate the shirt. She nuzzled her nose to his, as he stuttered and blushed. “Seems I’ve been promoted from groupie.” she laughed and straightened his collar.

“You can be… who’s that one you like?” his nose scrunched in thought. “Marianne.”

“She wasn’t exactly a groupie but you get all the credit for remembering.”

“I’ll take it where I can get it when it comes to you, sweetheart.” a cheesy grin full of teeth and dimples made her kiss his cheek, promptly wiping away the lipstick with her thumb. “Leave it.” he chuckled. “The easier it is for people to tell I'm with you tonight, the less chance I’m gonna get in a fight.” Star laughed at that, continuing to wipe away the smudge.

“I don’t think anyone is gonna fight you at Enzo’s.” she snickered. “The Hideout maybe. But not Enzo’s.”

“Good, because I don’t have a good range of motion in this shirt.” he windmilled his arms and squatted a bit, Star sighed, perplexed as to how she fell so hard for such a goof. She didn’t truly mind though, his charm was offbeat and found in his quirky honesty. She found the nervousness adorable, the impulsive movements entertaining. He kept her from taking herself too seriously.

“You look very handsome in it though.” she put her arms to his shoulders and he calmed. “This is nice. Have you had this waiting around?”

“If I tell you, promise not to make fun of me?” he said with a lowered chin and puppy eyes.

“Why would I- ugh, no, I'm not going to make fun of you.” she shook her head and rolled her eyes, batting her lashes and smiling.

“It’s Steve’s.”

“Steves?” she said surprised.

“Yeah, I asked for his help 'cause you know… I’m no good at this stuff and I wanted to impress you and we both know he’s good with the ladies so...” Eddie shrugged.

“You asked him for help?” she pouted.

“Yeah?” Eddie added hesitantly.

“That's the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. I’m so glad you two started hanging out. I knew you’d like each other if you tried.”

“Another instance of you being right and me being a dumb ass.”

“Dumb ass is a bit strong. I think stubborn is better.”

“Again. You’re right.” he said mockingly but they both knew he was joking.

“Good way to butter a girl up. Telling her she’s right.”

“Yeah?” he smirked, putting an arm around her. “That might be something I’m interested in doing tonight.”

“Besides me?” she wiggled her brows.

“In this dress, baby, you’re testing the mettle of man. Seriously. Shit, you look good.” he got distracted again by her body being shown off in tight clothes.

“Maybe I should’ve worn it next time.” she flirted.

“I would normally agree because I would love to peel that off your body inch by inch with my teeth, BUT for the next date, I was gonna tell you, I need you to dress in something comfortable. Maybe something you don’t care about getting dirty.” his eyes narrowed as he thought.

“The infamous third date I need to dress like I’m NOT trying to get you in my pants?” she giggled.

“You don’t have to TRY.” he laughed with a snort. “And I’m going for… emotional impact ya know? Tonight’s about treating you to nice things like you deserve. The next one is about us.”

“Us?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna take us somewhere really nice and secluded and we’re gonna be together and talk.”

“Oh.” she said with batting lashes.

“Disappointed?” he asked with genuine worry.

“No.” she shook her head quickly. “I was having fun and being flirty and keeping it light you know? But you’re right. We can sit and let it all out. Go through all the things we’ve wanted to. All the stuff we’ve not said.” her eyes gave away the meaning of her words as they shifted nervously.

“Exactly. Tonight I feed you fancy pasta and tell you you’re gorgeous. Tonight’s gonna be nice. And fun! I mean I have fun when I’m with you no matter where we go. We could hang out by a dumpster and I’d have fun.”

“You’d have more fun at a dumpster than Enzo’s.” she laughed.

“Again! You're correct!” he said loudly, laughing. “But as much as I kinda hate this overpriced stuff I want to do that for you. Wayne taught me a lot about women, and I know you show them when and how you can that they’re worth the effort when it comes to taking them out. So I wanted you to get all gussied up like you like to do and I wanted to be the reason you got to do that ya know?”

“I'm gonna have to thank Wayne one of these days for raising such a good man.”

“You taking me off his hands is thanks enough I think.” he grinned.

“I bet you were a holy terror as a child.” she laughed.

“God, he’s gonna enjoy embarrassing the shit out of me and showing you photos.”

“I do wanna see baby Eddie.” she smiled softly.

“I looked like an angry fuzzy lump.” he laughed.

“And look at you now. A slightly bigger, fuzzier, angrier lump!” they both laughed at that and he kissed her cheek with firm pressure.

“Keep me humble, why don’t you?” he laughed into her neck.

“Shut up gorgeous. Prettiest man I’ve ever seen.” she kissed the side of his head where it rested as he held her. “Take me out and let me show you off all cleaned up, Munson.”

“Whatever you say, babe.”

Eddie took the lead and Star watched with amorous eyes as he did. He’d made a reservation and everything. It was the cutest he’d ever been. Trying to stand up straight and not let his voice crack. He didn’t let go of her hand once they entered the building. It was a lovely sentiment to feel like she was being useful to him for once.

Quickly the lipstick she’d meticulously applied was gone. Happily lost to breadsticks and pasta. They made sure they ordered something different, trying each other's food. The highlight was Star almost laughing out a mouthful of food when Eddie caught her off guard, holding up to two meatballs like they were boobs to his chest. The food was amazing, even Eddie had to admit it. He reassured her that no matter how good their lasagna might be he’d always prefer hers. They held hands over the table, chipping away at a cheesecake. The candle on the table did them both all the favors when it came to making them look lovely. Star wished she’d had her notebook, sighing and committing herself to draw Eddie lit by candlelight soon. They two were entirely out of place. They laughed too loud, they ate too enthusiastically. But they couldn’t take their eyes off each other to bother seeing any side eyes glances. He told her how pretty she was an almost annoying amount of times, apologizing after each and looking down, blushing. Confiding he was simply star-struck, pun intended.

“I had a lot more fun than I thought I would.” he confessed with a bashful smile.

“I knew I’d have fun. I had a great time.” she shrugged and gave him a nose wrinkling smile.

“So.” he nodded and blushed. “Do you wanna go out again?” he asked with bashful big eyes.

“You know I do.” she laughed. “You don’t have to keep asking, you know.” she stepped in closer. “I’m yours, Eddie.” she promised with a tilt of her head, watching his eyes go all glassy.

“I’m not gonna stop asking.” he leaned in and whispered, pulling her close. “I’m going to earn every date. I’m not taking any of this for granted.”

“I’m not either.” she promised, sighing with fluttering lashes in his arms.

In her doorway, he properly kissed her. Her lipstick was long gone and not serving as a hindrance to kissing her in his mind. It took no effort for them to come together, her holding him tight around his back, him pulling her closer and holding her cheek, sure to linger before he landed a kiss to give her the build-up and attention she deserved. He felt her give a little in his arms, a feeling he had quickly become addicted to. Instead of a long drawn-out press, they took turns, a gentle caress of a bottom lip to a top lip then switching, the slightest hint of tongue, reserved. They held firm, hands not wandering, each time they thought it’d be the last turn, but they found themselves falling into it again, not wanting to stop.

“Eventually we have to stop,” she whispered, he felt the heart-aching movement of her lips forming a smile against his. “Although standing here with you like this…” she sighed contently and let out a happy whimper. “I am open to staying in this moment with you as long as humanly possible.” her voice was teeth achingly soft, her fingers light and doting on his back. “I missed you so much, Eddie.” she confessed, her chest feeling full to the brim with warm affection that was begging to be given.

“I love you,” he whispered back, faces still notched together, heads tilted, and noses almost touching. “You don’t have to say it back. No pressure. I just.. do… so much and right now if I didn’t say it I might explode.”

“I know.” she grinned and he then broke, backing away to slump and laugh.

“Hitting me with the Han Solo.” he said clutching his chest. “And people have the nerve to call ME the nerd?” he said as if he were insulted before laughing and diving back in to kiss her, much more clumsily and squeezing her, swaying her back and forth. “Fuck, I love you. You big dork.”

“Don’t tell anyone.” she giggled as he noisily smooched her cheek and neck, more playful now than tender.

“Never. I’ve got a reputation to uphold,” he said as if it were obvious. He kissed her again on the lips, soft and sweet. “I’ll pick you up in the morning.”

“I’ll miss you until then.” she smiled, holding his hand.

“Can I call you?” he asked with big puppy eyes as he stepped away.

“I’d like that.” she nodded. “You can play me to sleep.”

“I’ll call as soon as I get in.” he said taking another step away, still holding her hand as she giggled, covering her mouth in shyness for how precious they were being.

“Take your time, baby, I gotta get comfy. Get all cozy then call me.”

“No I’m gonna do it as soon as I walk in.” he cheesy grinned and she laughed. She kissed the back of his hand and released it.

“The quicker you go the sooner you can call.” he nodded, bright and floppy-haired as he bounded to his van, dropping his keys and her chuckling at him as he fumbled for them. She was in so deep, finding his clumsiness so charming. But man, did she not care.

PART 23

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[roxannarambles]

teal mask fixit-fic on the fly part 7

(Current story so far: Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6)

Kieran went to bed that night happier than he'd been in a very long time. Things had been a bit up and down for him, but ultimately it seemed he'd managed to make not one but four new friends that day. The misunderstanding he had towards the end of the evening had been cleared up later by Arven, when he'd explained they hadn't been saying mean things behind his back-- they were just planning a picnic for the next day and they'd wanted it to be a surprise. So it all turned out, in the end. Kieran slept in the following morning, because his sister had told him that his exchange student partner, Juliana, liked to sleep late anyway so he could take his time.

When he did get up, he ate breakfast quickly, feeling impatient and eager to start the day. He had tried his best to sleep in, but was only able to sleep in a little; he was just too excited. As he headed to the door to leave, he could hear his sister shouting at someone in the front yard.

"Juliana, you took your sweet time-- Kieran should be up soon, at this rate! Wait, why is she here? What part of 'keep this secret' did you not understand?!"

Kieran paused by the door, feeling very confused. Why should it matter if he was up? Didn't Arven tell her that he knew about the picnic now? He decided to continue listening.

"Sorry. Bestie privileges, I tell Nemona everything. But you don't need to worry, she won't tell anyone else."

"Ugh. Whatever. Is Arven coming? We need to get started here, grandpa doesn't have all day."

"Yeah, he was right behind us--"

"Heyya."

"What-- Arven, why is she here too?!"

"Yeeah, um . . . about that. Juliana and Nemona and I were talking and Penny sorta . . . overheard us. So."

"Sorry."

"We figured she may as well come too since she's in on it now."

"Great. So now I gotta deal with every one of you Naranja Students. What a headache. I guess people in Paldea have no grasp of the word 'secret.'"

"Hey, no one in town knows, all right? Chill."

"Look, did you bring the . . . 'thing' or not? Just hurry up and show it to grandpa."

"Yeah, yeah."

Silence, followed by;

"ARVEN THAT'S NOT THE THING, STOP SCREWING AROUND!"

A smattering of laughter.

"Okay, jeez, don't have a cow. Here."

"Where-- where did you get this?!"

"At the festival last night. Arven saw some kid who looked lost, but I realized it was the Ogre!"

The awful, dreadful suspicion coiling silently around Kieran that something was very wrong suddenly snapped and crushed him like a vise-- and now he felt like it was difficult to breathe. They . . . he . . . he'd been right all along. They were keeping something from him . . . something incredibly important . . . something they knew would mean so much to him . . .

He huddled against the door so he could better eavesdrop on the conversation. The awful thoughts churning in his mind were so loud that it made it difficult. He was so stupid to think he'd finally made friends . . . of course something like this would happen. Something like this always happened. He was always going to be shunned and alone . . . even his own family was excluding him . . .

He shook himself. He had to focus, and learn all he could.

Later . . .

It was a beautiful summer day in the land of Kitakami, and only the second day of Juliana's trip out here. It should have been perfect. She was wandering the vast open nature with her exchange student partner, in idyllic scenary, and later tonight they would have plenty of time to return and enjoy more of the local festival. They only had one more spot to visit for their orientation assignment.

Yet, somehow, things felt off. Kieran was acting strangely. Mind you, Juliana had only known him since yesterday, but still; in that time, yes he'd been very shy, but once they'd battled and he'd started talking to her about the Ogre, he'd warmed up to her a fair bit. At least, it had seemed that way. But today he'd hardly said more than a peep, despite Juliana talking to him. She thought perhaps he was still sore about last night, when he thought they'd been talking about him behind his back. But Arven had assured her that he'd patched up that misunderstanding with Kieran for sure. So it really didn't make any sense.

Unless . . . somehow, he'd heard them all talking this morning?

Juliana glanced to Kieran, who had apparently been looking at her, because he quickly looked away and cast his gaze downwards at his feet as they walked. Trying to break the awkward silence, Juliana asked,

"You said this place is called Paradise Barrens, right?"

The boy nodded silently.

". . . heh, pretty dramatic name," she chuckled.

There was silence as their feet scuffed along the dirt path. Eventually, he said,

"It's a very barren patch of land. People think it's because the Ogre spent a lot of time there. Spoiled the dirt where he walked or something."

"Oh."

After another pause,

"I think it's just 'cause of the nearby volcanic activity."

She smiled.

"Hey, that's good thinking. You're a clever kid, Kieran."

She glanced to him, but he didn't seem to care about the praise. He just sort of frowned and shrugged.

"Not a difficult observation to make."

Eeesh. Juliana sighed quietly. She was willing to bet her friends were having a way better time than she was.

Meanwhile . . .

The silence was starting to grate on Carmine's nerves.

At first, when she realized she had to partner up with Nemona again to finish off the dumb orientation assignment-- because her partner had wasted so much time yesterday goofing off so they didn't finish it then-- it filled her with dread. She just knew that motormouth would be going all morning long. Yet when Carmine stomped up to join her partner for the day, it seemed her barely-contained disgust was actually noticed, for once. And Nemona remained uncharacteristically silent, simply letting Carmine take the lead on getting the assignment finished up. It was blissful, at first. They reached the second sign, took a photo, then started out on the hike to the third sign, making very good time.

Yet after a while, Carmine started to feel . . . weirdly uncomfortable with it.

Eventually it bothered her enough that she found herself actually attempting to initiate conversation.

"S-so, uh . . . apparently you're something called 'Champion Rank,' huh?"

She had done air-quotes as she said it, and it had come out a lot snottier than she'd intended. Nemona glanced to her.

"Y-yeah, I am."

There was an awkward silence. Nemona looked anxious as she added,

"I'm sorry I didn't mention it sooner, but I-- w-well, in the past when people find that out, they tend to not wanna . . . fight me. I guess they get intimidated or something. So that's kinda why . . ."

"Oh. Well. Uh. Hah, I mean, I totally get that!" Carmine said, waving a hand,

"Like, same here, you know, people are constantly intimidated by how good I am once they see me fight, so. Yeah."

Nemona's expression shifted into a relieved smile.

"So you understand what I mean."

"Yeah, totally."

Carmine paused, growing lost in a thought for a while. Eventually, when she spoke again, her voice sounded softer and a little more sincere.

"I . . . kinda do get what you mean, though. Like, don't get me wrong, Kitakami is an amazing town and I'm proud of it, but . . ."

She sighed.

"It is . . . small. And there's only so many kids to battle around here, and once you've risen to the top here, well. There's kinda . . . nowhere else to go. Kicking their butts stops being all that satisfying. That's why I applied to Blueberry Academy."

Nemona replied eagerly,

"Yeah! I was the same with Naranja."

Carmine flicked her a look and then gazed ahead again at the path.

"Was it . . . what you wanted? Naranja, I mean."

Nemona fiddled with the zip of her bag as she pondered.

"Mmm, well. Yes and no. I learned a lot, and had a lot of great opportunities there. I don't regret any of it. But I also still felt kinda aimless there, for a long time. It's only been really recently that things have been falling into place for me."

Carmine raised a brow.

"How so?"

Nemona smiled; there was something indescribably affectionate and soft in the expression.

"I finally made some really good friends. Including my best friend and my rival for life . . . someone who appreciates me for just me and who can really meet me where I am."

Carmine's brow crumpled into confusion.

"Your rival? You mean the person you wanna destroy?"

Nemona laughed.

"I don't wanna destroy Juliana."

Carmine gesticulated as she spoke in exasperation,

"Why not? If she's better then you, then you should try to beat her, that's the whole point of battling. Is she better then you?"

"We're rivals. We're equals."

Carmine snorted and rolled her eyes.

"That's just a cop-out. There's always a winner and a loser."

Nemona looked at her, and there was an amused sort of glint in her eyes. It was annoying.

"Lemme ask you something. Was it what you wanted?"

"Huh?"

"Blueberry Academy, I mean. Did you find what you were looking for?"

Carmine scowled deep.

". . . you're just changing the subject."

Nemona's annoying smile had not faded. She said,

"Maybe I'm not. Maybe what you're looking for is a good rival. Not somebody to destroy, but somebody to help you grow."

Carmine was quiet for a while.

Then, she said,

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

Meanwhile . . .

"ARVEN JUST DROP THEM!"

"NO I WILL NOT!"

"ARVEN WE'RE GONNA DIE!"

"YOU'RE BEING DRAMATIC!"

At the moment, Arven and Penny were taking a brisk jog, Arven's arms laden with a huge pile of Liechi berries, so Penny was running somewhat ahead of him. A few yards back, an entire pack of Poochyena and Mightyena were running after them.

Arven had been lucky enough to come across a bush packed with the rare berries and of course he knew he had to stop and pick them. He'd stuffed his bag and then his arms with berries, knowing they were perfect for their picnic and then for freezing so he could use them back home in some desserts he wanted to try his hand at.

Unfortunately, it seemed the large number of Poochyena in the area were also fond of the berries. He'd tried just shooing them away, but more and more kept gathering and watching them. It wasn't until the Mightyena arrived that they'd grown bold enough to attack, and by then, their numbers had grown a bit overwhelming for just a pokemon battle. Arven and Penny had to just make a run for it.

The dogs were very persistent, though, as it turned out.

Penny started to grab the berries from Arven and chuck them behind her as they ran. Arven gave an outraged,

"HEY!"

"ARVEN THE DUMB BERRIES ARE NOT WORTH BEING MAULED FOR!"

"WE JUST NEED TO MAKE IT TO THOSE TREES!"

Penny reached to grab more berries and Arven jerked, trying to shield his cache from her.

"ARVEN-- YOU FAT GREEDENT--"

"YOU-- YOU PIPSQUEAK, YOU TAKE IT BACK!"

Later . . .

It was early afternoon when Juliana and Kieran finally reached the Paradise Barrens. The hike hadn't been too bad, but it was definitely a lot more walking than Juliana was used to. Especially since she was so accoustumed to Koraidon's help with transportation. She hadn't used him here, though; she worried the pokemon might intimidate the locals.

"So . . . I guess this is it, huh?"

She could see the signpost up ahead with its red, triangular roof. It stood beneath a large outcropping of rocks. She glanced to Kieran, but he was as quiet as he'd been all day. She muttered,

"Guess I'll go check it out . . ."

Once she'd reached the sign, she leaned down to read; however, before she could, a voice called out.

"Wow, you guys are so slow."

Juliana turned and frowned. Carmine arrived on the scene, followed closely behind by Nemona.

"What do you mean? We got here first."

"Yeah, but me and Nemona had to visit the second sign before heading over here, yet we got here at pretty much the same time."

Juliana sighed, answering,

"Okayyyy well, excuse me for enjoying the scenary."

Ignoring Carmine's general crankiness, Nemona chirped,

"Hi Jules! Wanna see this weird rock I found?"

"Yeah, always!"

The rock was indeed weird, very lumpy and a pale shade of pink.

"Haha, it kinda looks like used chewing gum."

"Oh my god you're right it does."

The slap of feet on the ground made them all look up and turn, as another pair of students came round the bend; it was Penny and Arven, panting and sweaty and looking like they had just run a marathon. Their clothes were stained in red berry juice and they were disheveled and dirty.

"Uh . . . you guys okay?"

Penny reached the group first. She stopped and sat on the ground, groaning miserbly as she sunk down.

"No."

Arven reached them next and stopped, his arms braced on his knees as he panted for breath, messy hair hanging in his face. There were some scratches on his face and arms too, Juliana realized.

"Seriously, what happened to you two?"

"What happened was this genius thought it was better to try and outrun a pack of Mightyena than just hand over a few lousy berries," Penny snarked bitterly.

"There were only like THREE Mightyena, the rest were Poochyena," Arven shouted back, which took too much breath so then he went back to panting.

"Yeah, well. I don't think it mattered much when there was that many of them," Penny said, taking off her glasses to wipe the smears off.

Juliana gave her a sympathetic smile.

"Well, um, at least you made it here in one piece?"

"I guess, but we lost the berries so it was all for nothing."

"Not all of them! I still have some in my bag," Arven announced proudly, patting the oversized pack that he brought everywhere with him.

"Great. That means it was sooooo worth it," Penny deadpanned.

"See if I let you taste the desserts I'm gonna make--"

"Okay! Enough! Jeez, you guys argue more like you're enemies than friends," Carmine interrupted.

Juliana cleared her throat.

"Okay, well. We're all here, so I guess we could just take one big group photo with the sign?"

Carmine shrugged.

"Yeah, whatever. Let's just get this done."

They all gathered around, posing for the camera. When they finished, nobody seemed to know what to do next; reading the sign didn't take long.

"So, um, what should we do now? There's still a lot of time left today."

"Hmmm."

"Ugh, I don't care what you guys do. I'm headed back."

Juliana asked,

"Wait, Arven, didn't you have the . . . you know, the picnic?"

"RIGHT! Yeah! Uh, yeah! The picnic."

He gestured at Carmine, who was already leaving.

"Don't go, Carmine, we have a picnic planned! It'll be nice."

She hesitated.

". . . fine. Only because I'm hungry."

"Great! I saw the perfect spot for it on the way out here. Everyone follow me, it's not too far."

It looked like Kieran had been trying to slink away from the group, but Carmine spotted him and grabbed his shoulder.

"C'mon, Kiki, where you going? You wanna have lunch with all your new buddies, don't you?"

He sighed and mumbled,

". . . sure."

The spot Arven had picked out was back in the Wistful Fields, tucked away behind a hill. When they reached it, Juliana's face lit with a smile.

"Oh wow, it's so pretty here!"

Nemona agreed enthusiatically,

"Yeah, this is so cool!"

All around were soft grasses and wildflowers, and in the center was a large pond, lots of Lotad floating in the waters as Yanma flitted about overhead. Planted throughout the area were what looked to be dwarf trees, all of them hanging heavy with hundreds of little purple blossoms. They had a magical, dreamy sort of ambiance. Ghost-type Oricoro hung around the trees, filling the air with their exotic calls.

Carmine commented,

"Yeah, this is Wisteria Pond. Honestly not a terrible place for a picnic. So good job, I guess, Arven. I'm surprised."

Arven smiled proudly, but then his smile slipped.

"Wait, why are you surprised?"

"When did you even manage to notice this?" Penny interrupted.

"While I was climbing that tree when the Mightyena bit me!"

"Ah."

They headed over to a cluster of the purple trees, where Arven laid out a picnic blanket and began to set out food; sliced fruit, berries, vegetable sticks, deviled eggs, cookies, so forth. He also began to assemble some mini sandwiches. Everyone gathered round to enjoy the late lunch.

"Wow, Arven, you went all out. How do you even fit all this in your bag?"

"Talented packing, of course. I'm not the picnic master for nothing. Here, who wants another sa- uh, one of these?"

"Oh, what kind of sandwich is it?"

"--NO, don't-- don't use that word--"

A pokeball suddenly opened from Juliana's bag, deploying a large, bright-red lizard. The Blueberry Academy students gasped in surprise. Arven sighed,

". . . just great."

"What the heck is that?" Carmine asked, watching as the huge creature sniffed enthusiastically at Arven.

"It's a menace and a pest, is what it is," Arven groused, pushing Koraidon's snout away. Juliana rolled her eyes.

"That's my ride pokemon. And don't listen to Arven, Koraidon is the bestest boy in the world. Just give him a sandwich, Arven."

"No! There's plenty of berries here, it can eat those just fine."

"He can have one of my sandwiches," Nemona said, holding out a mini sandwich. Koraidon gulped it down quickly and made a happy little trill.

"Nemona, I am not giving you another one just because you gave yours away."

"He looks strong. Why didn't you use him in battle?" Carmine asked, eyeing the pokemon warily. Juliana shrugged.

"Eh, that wouldn't really make for a fair game. Besides, he likes running around and eating way more than he likes battling."

Koraidon turned to sniff at Carmine, looking at her sandwich with envy. She recoiled a little, uncomfortable with the attention.

"Koraidon, c'mon, leave her alone. Don't be rude."

"Here, Koraidon. You can have this."

Penny fed Koraidon one of her own sandwiches. Arven cried out in dismay.

"You guys! I worked hard on these! Koraidon doesn't even taste them, he just swallows them whole!"

Nemona countered,

"You don't know that, I bet he can taste them."

Juliana fed Koraidon a sandwich too. Koraidon gulped it down and then rolled onto his back. Juliana rubbed his belly, chuckling.

"Ooh, who's a hungry baby boy? You are! Yes, you are!"

"Don't worry, Arven, I'm not throwing away my sandwiches," Carmine said, shifting so she sat further away from Koraidon.

"Thank you, Carmine. At least someone appreciates my hard work--"

She added, "--although, this chorizo isn't really spicy enough."

Arven sighed.

"I-- ugh."

"Of course we appreciate your work, Arven. It's just that Koraidon appreciates it most of all!" Nemona said. Juliana laughed.

After a leisurely lunch, the teens spent the time just lounging and fooling about. Nemona and Juliana decided it was the perfect spot to practice their pokeball throws, so they spent the time chasing after the many bug and grass types that were crawling and flying around, Juliana coaching Nemona on how to improve her form. When they'd practiced enough on the easier targets, like Swadloon, Cutiefly, and Petlil, they moved on to the nimble Yanma that were circling the pond. This evolved into a full-blown catching competition, before long. For a while Penny joined them in this contest, but she eventually tired of running around and chose to sit in the grass and just watch Juliana and Nemona's hyper antics, to cheer from afar.

Koraidon wandered over to where Penny sat and she rolled a ball for it, and they engaged in a lazy game of fetch. After a while, Penny noticed that Kieran was watching her, off alone in the grass, and she waved for him to come over. He looked very reluctant, but approached anyway, sitting down closer to her but still fairly distant. She asked if he wanted to throw the ball for Koraidon; he seemed very conflicted. He did eventually agree, though, and Penny tossed him the ball. The large pokemon made him nervous at first, but before long, he warmed up to it; one time when Koraidon returned the ball, it trilled happily and licked Kieran's face. The boy laughed, for the first time that day; when he looked to Penny, she was smiling warmly at him. He seemed to catch himself, glancing away from Penny with a tense frown. Unaware of the boy's sadness, Koraidon continued to lick him; he pet the lizard with a distracted sigh.

Arven had been dozing on the picnic blanket under the trees, during all this; his earlier skirmish with the Poochyena had worn him out a lot. It didn't exactly help he was always carrying such a heavy bag with him. Carmine hadn't really been in the mood to fool about like the others, it seemed, so she was sitting under the trees near Arven, fiddling on her phone. Once Arven had woken from his nap, he asked her if she wanted dessert. She shrugged and accepted the offer, and he shared with her some mochi made with Mago berries. It was a pretty shade of pink and was light and sweet with a nice tangy edge.

"What d'you think?" he asked.

She nodded, eating another one.

"They're really good."

Arven puffed his chest a bit, grinning.

"Thanks! The key is letting the Mago berries stew a while as a compote."

Carmine raised a brow.

"Wait, you made these?"

"Yeah!"

"Huh. That's . . . kinda cool, actually."

Arven looked thrilled with the praise. Carmine continued,

"Usually gramps makes mochi and that kind of stuff. Didn't really expect someone like you to know how to do it."

"Someone like me?"

"Hm, yeah. Guess I think of it as more of an old person thing to do."

Arven deflated a bit.

"Aw, man . . . you coulda just said they were good and left it at that."

She snorted.

"They were good. Good job, gramps."

"Ugh," Arven grumbled. She chuckled at him, and the conversation lapsed into silence for a time. Eventually, Arven commented,

"Your brother seems to have cheered up a bit."

They watched as he played ball with Koraidon. Carmine grunted.

"Guess so. I dunno what his problem has been today. Teenage angst or some crap like that, maybe."

Arven frowned.

"Well, he could have his reasons."

Carmine sighed as she laid back,

"Who knows."

After hesitating, Arven said,

"I still . . . feel kinda bad about . . . hiding the truth from him."

Carmine shot him a glare.

"Did you tell him? Don't you dare tell him."

"I didn't! I won't. I'm just saying . . . I feel bad about it."

"Well don't. There's no reason to. You heard gramps, Kiki's not ready for the truth. Let his own family worry about him."

Arven looked away, sighing.

"All I mean is that if it was me, I think I'd feel pretty bad if I found out my family was keeping such a big secret from me."

Carmine scowled.

"You act like I don't care about him. We're doing it for his own good, I told you-- I know my brother, he'd probably try to do something crazy if he found out. You want me to put him in danger?"

"No, of course not. Just . . . look, never mind, I was just thinking outloud."

There was an uncomfortable silence. Eventually, Carmine spoke again. Her voice lacked the usual hard edge; it sounded softer and more self-conscious.

". . .we'll tell him when he's ready."

Arven looked to her. He nodded, smiling faintly. She glanced away awkwardly, instead watching the other teens fooling about near the pond. After a while, casting around for a change in subject, she spoke in a slightly exasperated tone;

"Are those two like, girlfriends or something?"

Arven blinked, confused, looking to where she had gestured. It seemed Juliana and Nemona had worn themselves out with their pokemon catching contest and wandered back to the grass to collapse, exhausted, under some of the purple trees. Juliana was reclining against Nemona like she was her personal couch, and they were talking to each other and giggling, the purple blossoms drifting down softly on their heads.

Arven laughed.

"I dunno. Maybe. Wouldn't surprise me, I guess."

"You've never asked?"

"Hah, no. That'd be way too awkward. Also, I don't really care, I mean, that's their business."

Carmine seemed disappointed at his unwillingness to gossip. With a smirk, he added on,

"Why? Were you hoping to date one of 'em?"

She made an outraged noise and responded instantly,

"Oh my god, no. Gross. I can't stand those two. So loud and hyperactive and saccharine and . . . annoyingly good at battles . . . "

She'd muttered that last part very quietly, then huffed.

"Perfect for each other."

Arven just laughed.

"Yeah, that's true."

"Why are you even friends with them?"

Arven crossed his arms and smiled at her,

"They're good people."

Carmine was unimpressed with this response. Arven carried on casually,

"You are too, though. I can tell, beneath it all. You just got that tough guy act going on."

"Ex--excuse me?!"

Arven chuckled.

"Tough girl act, I guess? Whatever. I used to be the same, you know."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Undiscouraged, he said,

"I mean I was all gruff and distant and stuff like that. I didn't wanna have to rely on anyone. But after I made some real friends, I realized I didn't actually need the tough guy act anymore. That actually it had been pushing people away for no real reason."

Carmine rolled her eyes. Arven continued,

"So I'm a bit more chill now! Or, uh, I try to be, anyway. Friendlier, ya know? And more willing to rely on my buds for help from time to time!"

Scathingly, Carmine replied,

"That's great, Dr. Feelings, but I don't need you trying to psychoanalyze me. Maybe I just happen to be tough, did you consider that? Maybe I don't need to rely on anyone to get by."

Arven chuckled,

"Oh, I'm sure you don't. I never said otherwise."

She cast him a puzzled look. He said,

"But it's not about what you need. It's about what you want. Don't you want something more satisfying then just getting by?"

She glanced away, grumbling. After a bit, she snipped,

"I'd have no problems getting tons of friends if I wanted to."

Arven sighed. Eventually, in a patient tone, he told her,

"Well . . . if you're wanting a friend, I wouldn't mind being one of them."

She glanced to him. The calls of the Oricoro filled the silence as she hesitated.

She looked away again.

". . . fine. If you'd really like that, I wouldn't deprive you of the honor."

"Cool," Arven said, smiling at her.

After this discussion, Arven decided he'd head down and see if anyone else wanted some mochi. It was while the gang were snacking on mochi that Kieran decided to appear; he marched up to Juliana and Nemona, looking nervous but determined.

"I'd like to challenge you to a battle," he announced, pointing to Nemona. Carmine looked immediately surprised and concerned. Nemona looked thrilled.

"Of course!" she said, jumping to her feet eagerly.

"Wait, wait. Her? You sure you wanna do that, Kiki?"

Kieran nodded.

"Y-yeah. Juliana battled me before, so I figured I could battle Nemona too. I wanna get stronger."

"Yeahhh, but still, maybe it'd be better if you found some weaker trainers to beat up first--"

"No! I wanna get strong, and I don't want to waste anymore time. Please, Nemona? Will you battle me?"

Nemona gave Carmine a hesitant look before answering kindly,

"Of course, Kieran. I'd love to battle."

Carmine grunted,

"I'm just trying to look out for you, bro, but whatever."

Struck with inspiration, Nemona suggested,

"Hey! Maybe everyone else can have a battle too at the same time. It's such a nice place for one, and we haven't had many yet!"

Carmine frowned and her gaze shifted away as she made a reluctant humming sound. Nemona quickly added on,

"Uh, if people want to! Only if they feel like it, no pressure, of course."

"You already fought me and Nemona so you could give someone else a try," Juliana suggested gently. It seemed Carmine was not as gung-ho about battling as she was earlier; perhaps being crushed twice in a row dampened things for her.

"I could fight you if you want," Arven offered casually. Carmine looked at him. After a long pause she asked quietly,

"You one of these Champion-Rank students too?"

"Uh . . . no," Arven said, looking a little bummed out. Carmine answered,

"Okay, well, I guess we could battle."

"Oh. Uh, okay."

Juliana flashed a smile at Penny.

"Guess that leaves you and me!"

"Oog. Okay, but I know you'll kick my butt."

Juliana laughed.

"Nah, it's fine, we don't need to go all out. We can just mess around with the pokemon we've caught here, how's that?"

Penny agreed to that, and the teens went to battle their respective partners. Juliana and Penny had fun just messing around. The result of Arven and Carmine's battle was made quite obvious when they'd finished and Carmine had cackled in glee and gloated about her victory. The result of Nemona and Kieran's battle had not been to Kieran's liking, though.

"It's always like this, I'm always too weak," he was lamenting, while Nemona desperately tried to reassure him that he'd done a great job. He quickly went to Juliana and begged for her to battle him, too. She was reluctant but he was very persistent, so she gave him a battle as well. Once again, he was incredibly frustrated with the results.

"Kiki, c'mon, you're being too hard on yourself," Carmine said, but Kieran wasn't listening to anyone.

"Forget it, I'm going to go back home now."

"You're being a real sore loser, you know. You don't have to leave!"

Juliana opened her mouth to comment on the amazingly hypocritical statement coming from Carmine but decided not to get in the middle of a sibling squabble. Kieran said,

"I have stuff to do anyway. I'll see you all later."

He left without another word. They awkwardly watched him go. After a bit, a worried Nemona asked,

"Should I have . . . gone easier on him? I wanted to, but he begged me not to hold back . . ."

Juliana was about to comfort her, but before she could, Carmine shook her head, saying,

"It's fine. He's been acting weird all day, it wasn't your fault. I don't know what his problem is."

[looneyleyle]

darlin ~ f. odair

pt. 1 ||| pt. 2 ||| pt. 3

synopsis: a boy unable to escape the capitol's grasp, a girl forced to train children to be slaughtered. maybe they can help each other get through the hellish lives they've been subjected to after winning their respective games.

warnings: hunger games typical violence, death, mentions of panic attacks, mentions of drugging, allusions to male prostitution

words: 5348

aldera pov some say that after you win the hunger games, you live happily ever after. you get riches beyond comprehension, enough food to feed your family, and eternal fame. what could be worse than that?

i can tell you. for one, there's survivor's guilt. not being able to sleep at night, because your dreams are plagued by the tortured faces of those you've killed. and then there's being watched by the capitol at every waking moment, threatening to kill your family if you make one wrong move. and of course, wondering why you, of all of those 24 tributes, made it through. but worst of all?

mentoring.

because when you're mentoring, it's not about you anymore. it's not about the grief that follows you every second of the day. it's about the fact that you have to train two children to fight 22 other children to the death in some sort of sick battle arena. especially when you're from district 10. it's like sending pigs to the slaughterhouse, or, worse i guess, since i've been doing that since childhood too.

district 10 has two living female victors, and i'm one of them. imena, bless her soul, was my mentor, a woman in her 30's. after her hunger games, she couldn't work with the livestock anymore. she felt for them. she was prepped and plucked to be thrown to the capitol for entertainment, much like the cows and pigs and goats here in district 10. just seeing the slaughterhouse would send her into a panic attack.

after i won the 68th hunger games at the ripe age of 17, imena's condition worsened, seeing me go through the same things that she had been through for the past 11 years. when it came time for the 69th hunger games, imena was deemed unstable and unfit to serve as a mentor, meaning i was the only alive female victor that could mentor.

my male counterpart was absolutely useless. he had been mentoring for years now, and he had given up on trying to help. he was one of my mentors last year, and certainly did not lift as much as a finger to try and help me or the other district 10 tribute survive.

for the 69th hunger games, the district 10 tributes were a 16 year old boy who worked as a farmhand, and a 13 year old girl, london, who would milk the cows and goats. neither of their jobs provided them with skills to help them win the games.

throughout the days leading up to the hunger games, i told the two to focus on survival skills. it's what all outlier districts tell their tributes. learning to fight is useless, they would lose a fight against any of the careers in a matter of seconds regardless of how long they would train.

when the games started, i was a nervous wreck. the male tribute died in the cornucopia bloodbath, as to be expected. he didn't seem to listen to me at all when i tried to give him advice. london, however, went in the opposite direction, into the sands of the never ending desert that was this year's arena. the cornucopia was a little oasis, with small pockets of fresh water and a few fruit trees surrounding the structure. after that, there was sand for as far as the eye could see. i knew that sponsor gifts would be a necessity with the lack of food and water sources. i needed to start making friends with potential sponsors.

walking up to a group of unnecessarily colorful capitol citizens, i said, "hi there guys, any interest in sponsoring district 10?" the three of them laughed out loud, talking amongst themselves as if i couldn't hear.

"can you believe that, sponsor district 10. haha! my money would be better off thrown into the streets than used to sponsor them," one of the men laughed.

"are they even still in the games? i thought they'd all be dead by now," the lady laughed, taking a sip of her champagne. knowing that my mission was a failure, i started walking back to my viewing couch.

"y'know, you can't just ask them to sponsor your tributes. chat them up, let them talk about themselves, they love to do that. then, give them a little sob story about your tribute when you need the gifts and boom! you've got a sponsor," a tall boy told me, leaning against the wall. i recognized him as one of the mentors from district 4.

"really? thank you, that's probably the only helpful piece of advice i've gotten this whole damned week," i said, muttering the last part while throwing a glare at the other district 10 mentor, who was currently chugging copious amounts of alcohol.

"i take it he's useless? makes sense, i usually see him at the bar for most of the games," the man commented, getting up from his relaxed position. "you're last year's champion, congrats. welcome to the hell that is the rest of your life. i'm finnick odair, at your service," he introduced, putting out his hand in greeting. i took his hand, and he gave mine a firm shake.

"aldera meadowwood."

"now then, aldera, seems like you could use a mentor who isn't in an unhealthy relationship with the booze table. my tributes have already kicked the bucket, i could show you the ropes of mentoring if you'd like?" i considered the stranger's offer, looking between my partner, the screen, and finnick.

"that would be nice."

surprisingly enough, my tribute made it to the second day, allowing me to work with finnick on my mentoring.

"now, it usually helps when you've made a name for yourself, and i hate to break it to you aldera, but your games weren't the flashiest. but that's okay, being an underdog has its advantages. keeps the games interesting. having the careers win every year would be boring," finnick explained, walking me around the potential sponsors, occasionally waving to them or sparing them some sort of meaningless comment. "the key is faking interest. all of these capitol people live easy lives, so their problems aren't anything like what you see in the districts. you have to pretend that you care, pretend that it's the end of the world when they eat too much or chip a nail. they'll love you. then, when your tribute is in need, you just have to go up to them, chat them up a bit more, and make a comment about how your games will be cut short because your tribute is going to die. tell them about the family she has at home, how her parents will miss her dearly. you have to really sell it to them, the more sad you can make it, the more willing they'll be to donate."

"considering that almost everyone in 10 lives in poverty, i don't think it'll be that difficult to 'make their lives sad'," i retorted. finnick just nodded, it was common knowledge that 10 was one of the poorest districts, hence its lack of victors. there seemed to be a correlation between how wealthy your district is and how frequently you win. districts 10 and 12, two of the poorest districts, had the least amount of victors, while districts 1 and 2 had enough to start their own little hunger games.

"let's work on getting you some sponsors," finnick said, already guiding me back to the sponsor tables. i went from table to table, feigning interest in their disgusting capitol lives. complaining about how their stockings were the wrong shade of fuchsia, or how they got to throw up their food only three times at the most recent party because they ran out of the drink that makes you puke. their lives were so mindbogglingly easy, never having to worry about their next meal or if they would make it to the next day.

"i can't do any more today finnick," i told him as he started whisking me away to the next table. he looked down at me with a smile.

"that's okay, you did good today. some promising prospective sponsors for you," he noted. my feet found their way to the nearest screen, seeing that my tribute had just made it to one of the little oases spread out throughout the arena. i breathed a sigh of relief as she drank the fresh water and started to grab the fruit from off of the low hanging branches.

"thank god," i let out, sitting down on the nearest couch.

a couple of days passed and my tribute was still alive and kicking. she kept to the oasis, keeping herself hidden in some of the taller grass. not that she had to worry, most of the tributes were on the other side of the arena.

as i talked with finnick about my old job back in district 10, i heard a scream. my head darted to the screen, and i saw the district 7 boy hanging from a trap in some tree, his weapon and supplies laying unattended on the ground. i watched as my tribute came out from the shadows, picking up the boy's machete. he fumbled around with the vines around his leg, swearing furiously at london.

"get back here you bitch, that's mine! too afraid to try to take me head on huh?" he swore, trying to taunt her. she faltered, one of her biggest mistakes yet. a second passed and the boy was down from the trap, charging at her. i held both myself and my breath as i watched. the 7 boy wasn't very muscular or anything, but he was older than my girl, and much taller than her. her eyes widened in fear as he came at her, and instinctively, she swiped at him with the machete. it hit his chest, causing him curl up in pain. without another thought, my tribute swiped and slashed at him, albeit with inexperience, effectively silencing him. a cannon shot off in the arena. i heard gasps from the sponsors, murmuring about how the small girl from district 10 had managed to kill a boy nearly twice her size.

"and that is the kind of performance you need to get sponsors," finnick smiled. i felt conflicted; on one hand, she had managed to defend herself and take out one of her competitors, making it easier for me to get her gifts if she ever needs them, but on the other hand, she was now officially a murderer. if she makes it through these games, the images of the tributes she killed will haunt her, just like what happened to imena, and just like what was happening to me.

the next day, my tribute wouldn't stop hacking and coughing. she looked severely ill, and it happened so suddenly too. i wondered if it was the doing of the gamemakers before looking around her. the district 7 boy's body had let out a lot of blood, some of it going into the pond she had been drinking from. she tossed and turned, looking like death.

"time to go work your magic," finnick told me. i got up and immediately went to one of the sponsor's tables. if i recalled correctly, one of them had a daughter around my tribute's age. i started up a small conversation, asking about their families, purposely saving the man for last.

"and how's your daughter?" i asked. he told me about how she had done in school today, and some fight she had gotten in with her friend.

"it's such a shame, maybe your daughter and my tribute london could have been friends after the games. it doesn't look like she has much more time, what with this sickness and all, she might be gone within hours. could you imagine? a young girl being perfectly fine a couple hours ago when you last saw her, only to fall deathly ill a few hours later? her parents not even there to comfort her in her final moments? it's tragic really, and it could happen to anyone, not just the children in the districts. if only my tribute had some medicine, then she would live to see another day, go to school, see her friends…" i rambled. the man's face paled a bit. my trick had worked. maybe the capitol wasn't as full of monsters as i thought.

"well, i think we could afford to get the poor dear some medicine. if that was my child, i wouldn't be able to live with myself for not helping her. here you go," he told me, handing me some money.

"oh, thank you so much sir. you've saved a poor girl's life today," i poured, playing into the capitol's savior complex. he looked pleased with himself as i walked away, going to go buy her some medicine and to write her a note to be careful.

i watched as the gift traveled its way into the arena, startling my tribute and sending her into another fit of coughs. she took the medicine with ginger hands, feeling better as soon as she took a sip. i felt ecstatic, i saved her!

"finn, finnick, i did it! i got her a sponsor and it saved her!" i squealed, taking his hands in mine and jumping up and down. it was a bit childish, really, but i was excited. i actually did something. i was probably one of the first district 10 mentors to actually get a sponsor gift for their tribute. i made an impact in her games, i gave her a chance to win.

"very good darlin," finnick praised, giving my hands a light squeeze.

london's good luck seemed to continue for the next couple of days. there were only six tributes left in the arena: three careers, a boy from district 5, a girl from district 6, and then my tribute from district 10. the careers had been weeding out tributes, while the other remaining three had been hiding.

her luck, however, was bound to end.

the career tributes started to head south, straight towards her oasis. i heard murmurs wash over the other mentors and sponsors. panic coursed through my body. she got lucky that her instincts kicked in with that boy from 7. she wouldn't be able to last a second against three careers, three trained killers.

"they're heading towards her…" i mumbled, already making my way towards the sponsors.

"dera…" finnick started, getting up from his seat. i paid no mind to him, i only had so much time to get her something, anything to warn her of the careers approaching. i went up to some old ladies that i had been chatting up the other day.

"hello ladies, how are you doing?" i asked. the four of them became animated, telling me about their days. i tried to pretend to pay attention, but my eyes kept flickering to the screens. i didn't have time for this.

as one of the ladies was talking about how the shrimp she had for lunch wasn't as good as last time, i interrupted. "i was wondering if any of you kind ladies would be willing to donate just a tiny bit to help out my tribute? it would really mean a lot to our district, her poor family at home-" the ladies all rolled their eyes, one of them cutting me off.

"mmm, you see sweetie, your little girl is quite boring now." my heart dropped.

"i mean, you can't expect us to just keep giving to you. quite frankly, it's bad manners on your part," another chided. i was in shock, how were they able to say that? a young girl's life was on the line and they wouldn't donate because it's boring? i couldn't believe them. i opened and closed my mouth, flabbergasted. seeing this, finnick came up behind me and helped me out of my seat.

"good evening ladies, i'm gonna steal her away from you all if you don't mind," he rushed the words out, ushering me away. my mind was racing, what was i going to do? if i didn't find a sponsor soon, she would be slaughtered by the careers.

"finn, let me go, i need to talk to more sponsors," i mumbled, eyes darting from person to person. finnick's grip on me didn't waiver.

"dera…" he trailed off, i could already hear the pity in his voice. it made my stomach churn. i tried to tune him out, struggling against him to go towards another table of sponsors.

"dera," he said more sternly. i couldn't look at him, tears were already welling up in my eyes. i looked around at all of the sponsors, their eyes fixed on the scene i was making in slight disgust, or worse, laughter. no one would sponsor another dirt poor girl from district 10.

"dera," he started, his voice significantly more soft, "let's get you out of here." the tears were starting to stream down my face.

finnick brought me back towards the other mentors. the district 1 and 2 mentors looked over at me, laughing and drinking their champagne. noticing the object of my focus, finnick stepped into my sight line, blocking me from the career mentors. i looked over at the screen instead. the careers had seen my tribute, but she hadn't seen them. i gripped onto finnick, watching as they got nearer and nearer to her. another wave of adrenaline coursed through me.

"i just need a note, just a note to tell her they're coming, then she can hide or run or do something!" i started to make my way back to the sponsors. i had to do everything i could for her.

"darlin, it wouldn't get to her in time." my shoulders dropped, staring at the screen, a weight starting to crush my heart.

"so i just have to watch as she dies?" i let out in a broken whisper. they were a couple yards away from her. she saw them and started to run.

"we've got a runner! we've got a runner!" the district 2 boy screeched, a look of pure demented glee on his face.

finnick pulled me in, keeping my back to the screen. his arms held me firmly as i wept.

cheers and gasps came from the sponsors, followed by gruesome noises coming from the screen. i tried to look, but finnick quickly brought my head into his chest, not letting me see whatever was happening.

the boom of a cannon sounded through the room.

i couldn't control my sobs. i failed. i failed her. i failed her family. i tried so hard and for what? all i was able to do was prolong her death.

that night, sleep evaded me. every time i closed my eyes, the sound of the cannon rang through my ears. i tossed and turned but nothing worked. her face haunted me. she was dead. she would never see her family again. the room began to suffocate me. i needed to get out, to get some fresh air, anything to make it easier to breathe. i got up from the bed and went to leave the apartment. when i opened the door, finnick was outside, staring blankly at where the door was moments ago. it was as if he didn't even notice that i had opened the door.

"finnick?" i called, his eyes slowly moving to me, the dead look lingering.

"is everything alright?" i asked, starting to become concerned. on top of the dead look in his eyes, his hair was disheveled and clothes wrinkled, a stark contrast from the boy who had been helping me out for the past week or so.

"water," he said, licking his chapped lips. it was only out for a moment, but his tongue seemed to be a vibrant pink, as if it were dyed such a color. i brought him inside, getting a glass from the cabinet and turning on the faucet. finnick plopped down on the couch nearby, nearly missing it. his head seemed to be in a daze, and his movements were sluggish. filling up the glass to the top, i quickly gave the water to him. he looked at it for a second, as if he forgot that he had asked for it, before taking a swig of it. after the swig, he chugged the whole glass. after a few seconds, he blinked away whatever was affecting him, and seemed to become aware that he was in my apartment. his eyes still moved slowly, but they were now wrought with a look of… guilt?

"i'm sorry, i felt a bit out of it and didn't know where to go," he said quietly. i sat down next to him, still staring at the mess of a man in front of me.

"what happened?" i asked. i knew there was a story behind all of this.

"i dunno." he couldn't look me in the eyes as he said the words. i knew he was lying, but i didn't want to push him. we sat in silence for a couple of beats, taking everything in. everything. my tribute's death, whatever he was keeping from me, the fucked up nature of the games… and him, being in my temporary mentor apartment, coming to me in what seemed to be a time of need.

"where were you going?" he asked, breaking the silence. he was looking at me now, and his face seemed to have more life in it than a couple of moments prior.

"to get a breath of fresh air. i was suffocating in here," i told him plainly. i expected some words of advice or sympathy, it seemed to be his forte, but none came. instead, he drew back into himself.

"i'm sorry, i didn't mean to interrupt you." he began to play with his fingers, picking and scratching at his hands. i quickly put my hands over his, stopping him from whatever he was doing.

"it looks like you need some fresh air too." i got up and grabbed two blankets from the closet. finnick stood up wordlessly behind me, following me like a lost puppy. i wrapped him up in the slightly larger blanket, struggling to get it around his frame. i then did the same to myself and brought him over to the balcony.

the air had a light chill to it, as if it knew of the sorrows brought by the day's occurrences. i sat down on the floor, and finnick took the spot right next to me. his presence, even if a bit distracted, was welcome. he seemed to be the only constant for me in the capitol. whenever i needed help, or a shoulder to cry on, or even just someone to talk to, he was there. seeing him like this terrified me, but also brought me comfort in some sort of twisted way. he was struggling, just like me. i wasn't alone in this hellhole of a situation.

"are you okay?" he asked. his eyes were broken, and yet, inviting. i felt like i could tell him everything.

"it's just…" i started, taking a shaky breath. my eyes were filling with tears for what felt like the millionth time that day. "i feel like i failed. my job was to get her sponsors and keep her alive, and when it mattered most, i couldn't do either. the sponsors just laughed at me. they laughed! what kind of sick bastards laugh when a child is about to die?" i wept, leaning against him. he tensed for a moment.

"the people of the capitol are heartless. we're mere figures of entertainment to them. it doesn't matter what happens to us, or what we're feeling. all they want is a good show. just a good show…" he trailed off, his voice far away. i hummed in agreement. he looked down at me and seemed to snap out of his airy head space.

"i promise you, you did everything possible for that girl, certainly more than any district 10 mentor has done in the past," he assured me. i nodded into him, deep down i knew that i wouldn't be able to save her, but going through it was much more of a hell than i had imagined. looking up at him from so close, i noticed the dry tear tracks on his face.

"i have no idea what you went through tonight, but know that i'm here for you if you ever need anything." finnick's face paled as i spoke. his eyes started to get shallow again, as if he was repressing some sort of thought or emotion from me. a hollow smile spread across his face, one that was full of insecurity and false reassurance.

"thank you dera," he thanked before trailing off, slightly picking at his fingers again. "is it okay if i stay the night here? i just…" he tried to look for a reason, but i stopped him.

"of course. i don't think i'd get any sleep tonight alone in here anyways." with that, we went back inside. together, we moved the couch closer to the bed, making it so that we wouldn't be too far apart. i had nightmares about my tribute that night, but at least i was able to sleep.

for the rest of the games, finnick and i fell into a routine. at night, he would come back from what he called "capitol business" in some sort of inebriated state, i would help nurse him back to normal, we would fall asleep on the couch and bed, and then we would wake up, finnick being his normal self and showing me around the capitol, as we were relieved of our mentor duties. when the games ended, we parted with reluctant goodbyes, but knew that we would see each other again in a year, even if it was under these terrible circumstances.

finnick told me one night that the games would get a bit easier to handle as the years went on, and for the most part, he was right. sponsors were always hard to come by, but finnick taught me a couple of tips and tricks to help with the process. i learned from the first year that the sponsors didn't want survival, they wanted a show. i trained my tributes to give them a show, to stay alive but give the sponsors a reason to want to keep them alive. some years this got my tributes down to the final days of the games. most years, however, my tributes were tempted by the cornucopia, running in and being killed instantly. in a sick way, those years were easier. with your tributes gone so early, it was easier to speed up the grieving process. it's demented, but it's true. that's how so many of the mentors are able to live with themselves, they let their tributes die early, knowing that they would be gone sooner or later. it was a cynical view, but an unfortunately common one.

as for me and finnick, we became closer and closer with each of the games. for the most part, we continued our tradition of hanging out into the late hours of the night. some nights were light, joking about the obscenities of the capitol, showing each other games we would play in our districts to pass time as children, or just gossiping about random people. finnick always seemed to know everything that was going on, no matter how irrelevant the person was. some nights, however, were much heavier, talking about the problems in our world and coping with the losses of our tributes. finnick still wouldn't tell me about whatever "capitol business" he had, but i know that it got worse as the years went on. my second year as a mentor, finnick turned 18. snow called upon him for this "business" much more frequently, and some nights finnick wouldn't be able to come to my room afterwards. whatever it was, finnick got better at coping with it. there would still be nights where he came to me, disheveled and unattached, but i would always do my best to piece him together and get him through whatever was going on.

the next of the games that district 10 actually stood a chance in was the 74th hunger games. the male tribute died on the fourth day from some trackerjacker venom, while the female tribute made it to the eighth day. she was 18, hoping to make it through her last reaping unscathed. her parents had died a couple year prior to a disease that had traveled through the district, the same one that had taken my own family. she had been living with her aunt and uncle, working as a meat packer. she was tough, having experienced death in her life before the games. she wasn't afraid to be ruthless. she knew that she wanted to win, and she wasn't afraid to do what she needed to do to survive. finnick's tributes had already died, one in the bloodbath and the other from a forest fire while she was sleeping. finnick stayed by my side for the entirety of the games, it was common to see the two of us together, even when getting sponsors. there were whispers among the mentors about us and what we were to each other, but we paid them no mind.

when my tribute was killed by thresh, the district 11 boy, i felt almost exactly like how i did for my first year as a mentor. i really thought that my tribute had a chance, and i grew attached to her. i felt helpless. there was nothing that i could have done, thresh had snuck up on her too quickly to even try to get a sponsor. finnick, being ever sensitive to my feelings, excused us from the other mentors and brought us up to my apartment. at this point, we had a routine for when one of our tributes died. we would go up to my apartment, one of us would make tea, and the two of us would bundle up on the balcony, laying against each other in solemnity. some deaths affected us worse than others, but we treated each one the same. all of our tributes deserved better, they deserved to be back at home, in the districts, with their families. that day's death was one of the worse ones for me.

"every year, i put my all into this job. i want to save them all. and i know that it's not realistic, i know that the capitol doesn't care about district 10, but i want to give them the best chance they can to survive," i ranted. it was a particularly cold night, too cold for just our blankets and sweatshirts, but we wanted to keep up our tradition. it was our safe space, a constant in our somewhat bleak lives. so, i sat with finnick's arms around me, the two blankets wrapped around him, keeping the heat trapped in between us. his hands gently rubbed circles into my arms, something that he had found that would help calm me down. we didn't really comment on each others' pain anymore when it came to mentoring. we both knew exactly what the other was feeling. we learned that usually, the other just needed to vent about their feelings.

"thank you for being here for me, finn. i really appreciate it. some days, it just feels like things will never get better. we were told that once we won the hunger games, we would live the good life. i don't know if i would considering sending unprepared children into the games each year to see them murdered is exactly the 'good life'," i continued, starting to get worked up again.

"i know darlin, i know," he told me, rubbing shapes into my arms again, trying to calm me down. "take a deep breath dera. i can't promise that things will be okay, because i'd be lying straight to your face, but i can promise you that i'll be there, no matter what."

a few days later, katniss and peeta won the games by threatening to kill themselves 'in the name of love'. i watched the moment go down on the screen, and i immediately looked at finnick. he looked back at me with the same amount of shock.

"i have a bad feeling about this, finn."

[daddycest-hub]

Cow Girl oneshot

The Walker Ranch was well known for the quality of the milk produced by the HuCows they keep. They never shared their secrets, of course, but it wouldn't be hard to guess.

After all, it doesn't take a genius to know that happy Cow Girls make the best milk.

One of these Cow Girls, was Y/N Walker. Being only 16, she was still growing into her udders and wasn't producing enough to join the family business. She was mostly able to milk herself with some help from her mom from time to time.

But that all changed when, one day, Y/N woke up and felt her udders were full to bursting. She felt so sore and full. It hurt.

Whimpering, she got up and went to find her Daddy. He would know how to help.

"Daddy?" she said, hovering in the doorway of his office. "Are you busy?"

"Never too busy for you, Sugarcube." Cordell smiled at her. "What's up?"

Y/N whimpered. "My udders.... They're sore. I feel full.... Can you help?"

Cordell swallowed hard and felt his cock start to stiffen. He'd been waiting for this day for a long time. "Of course I'll help, Sugarcube. That just means it's time for your first milking," he said gently, getting up to help her. "Come on, let's get you more comfortable."

Y/N nodded. "Thank you."

Cordell took her to his bedroom and closed the door behind him. He sat on the edge of the bed and pat his lap. "Come sit here, Sugarcube."

Milkings were officially supposed to be done in the stalls at the milking machines. But he wanted to be the first to taste his baby girl's milk.

Y/N sat in his lap and he turned her so she was straddling his waist. He lifted her sleep shirt over her head, exposing her udders, heavy with milk. His mouth was practically watering just looking at them. "I'm gonna milk you now, okay baby girl?" he said, carefully holding her left udder in his hands.

Y/N whimpered and nodded. "Please milk me, Daddy. It hurts...."

"It's okay," he soothed, gently massaging her breast to get the milk flowing. He latched onto her nipple and started gently sucking, moaning once the first drop of milk hit his tongue. She tasted just as sweet as he imagined. Already hooked on it, Cordell sucked harder to get more of that sweet nectar.

Y/N gasped as he started sucking on her breast. She'd heard that being milked would feel good, but she didn't know it would feel this good. She moaned and squirmed in her Daddy's lap as her pleasure grew, rubbing herself on his cock. Her pussy was already getting wet and they were just getting started; Cordell intended to suck her dry.

Cordell suckled at her tit until he'd milked it completely dry. Then, he started massaging her right udder for milking. "Does that feel better, Sugarcube?" he asked.

"Yes, Daddy," Y/N panted. "Feels so good...."

Cordell smirked and started sucking her other tit, drawing more moans of pleasure from his baby girl. She was so responsive and the way she rubbed on his cock just made him even harder. He was already tenting his jeans and he knew he wouldn't last much longer with her moving like that. Not that he minded.

By the time Cordell sucked her completely dry, Y/N was panting out breathless moans as she neared her orgasm. "Feels so good, Daddy...."

"I'm glad, baby girl," Cordell murmured. "Now, I know that was a lot but since I made you feel so good... Do you think you can help Daddy feel good too?"

Y/N nodded. "Of course! Anything for you...."

Cordell smirked and carefully adjusted her on his lap so he had room to pull out his cock. He was fully hard and his cock stood at full length. He ripped off her panties, exposing her pretty, wet pussy,a nd carefully lowered her onto his cock. "I need you to milk my cock for me, Sugarcube. Do you think you can do that for me?"

Y/N blushed and nodded. She'd seen this on the ranch before. She held onto Cordell's shoulders for leverage and started bouncing on his cock.

Cordell groaned, gripping her waist and watching her udders bounce right in front of his face.

The real secret to the Walker Ranch milk was that all their Cow Girls got regular fuckings from the ranch hands. Good fuckings led to good milk and even better calves. Cordell knew this all too well and he couldn't wait to taste his Sugarcube's milk again. It would take a few days for her udders to fill again, but when they did he was going to enjoy milking her just as much as he'd enjoy filling her up again, if not more.

As she rode him, Cordell pictured the future. Her first milking was just the beginning. It wouldn't be long before Y/N turned into a full HuCow, with a tail that would sit right above her perky ass and feel so wonderful on his cock. She'd grow little horns too, perfect for handling her. And she'd have the softest, most beautiful fur all over and it would tickle his lips perfectly each time he milked her.

And, of course, she'd get a cow bell that would let him keep track of her no matter where she was on the ranch.

Just thinking about what his little cow girl would look like all grown up was enough to drive him crazy. He started thrusting up into her, not able to hold back any longer. Y/N gasped and soon came with a loud cry, her pussy clenching down on and milking his cock. He came with a low groan, spilling his seed deep inside her.

Y/N leaned against her Daddy, panting softly. "Thank you, Daddy," she murmured.

"You're welcome, Sugarcube."

[alj4890]

Day 1: Distraction

(Thomas Hunt x OC) in a Choices Red Carpet Diaries/ The Royal Heir crossover fic.

Masterlist

Rating: PG for some mentions of sexual situations. Mostly fluff all over.

@krsnlove @my-heart-beats-for-ya ​ @aworldoffandoms ​​ @flyawayboo ​​ @trappedinfanfiction ​​  @sophxwithers @twinkleallnight @hopelessromantic1352 @tessa-liam @choicesrcd2022 @promptnonny

Premiere Date

Two months earlier...

"Maxwell said the premiere for The Royal Romance will be December first." Amanda balanced her phone on her shoulder while finishing up reviewing the servants' wages. "Would you like to be my date for it?"

"Of course." Thomas jotted it down on his calendar. "I believe we made it official last month that I would be your date from now on."

Amanda couldn't help but smile when she looked at her engagement ring. "Yes, we did but I thought since it is a Tommy Phelps film, that might stretch your affection for me.

Thomas snorted in response. "There are not enough explosives in that man's mixed bag of mediocre cinematic tricks to ever stretch what I feel for you."

"I love how you're able to take an insult to someone else and turn it into something romantic for me." She replied with a giggle.

His lips curved. "As was my intention. I should be in the process of editing my film by then." He double checked the date. "Are you able to remain in Los Angeles after the premiere?"

"I believe so." Amanda flipped through her own calendar. "I don't have any court events I have to attend until after the holidays."

"Good." Thomas motioned for Holly to bring him his schedule for the day. "Then we can begin our plans."

Amanda smiled even more. "Our wedding plans?"

"Exactly." He quickly scanned the day's shots. "I don't intend to start any film projects until the end of next year so that we can enjoy the beginning of our marriage."

Thomas glared over at Holly and Addison making aww noises. He turned away from them in an attempt to keep his conversation private.

"Plus I want us to have a honeymoon away from everyone we know."

His frown eased when he heard Amanda laughing.

"Have you got your usual audience around you again?" She teased.

"I do." He grumbled.

"I see." Amanda smiled softly. "I suppose this means no, I love you, at the end of this call, hmm?

"Of course not." He replied. "I'm not going to let a few irritating individuals stop me from saying that."

"Then I will let you get your day started while I wind down for the evening." She replied. "I love you, Thomas."

"I love you, too." He sent another glare over his shoulder when he heard Addison and Holly's overly dramatic sighs. "Sleep well."

"I'll talk to you tomorrow, my love." Amanda promised.

"I look forward to it." Thomas ended the call with a dark frown towards his two assistants. "Don't you have something you should be working on?"

"Just waiting upon your usual demands, boss." Holly replied.

"Is Amanda coming to visit?" Addison asked.

"Unfortunately," he quickly counted the weeks, "not yet."

"You miss her a lot, don't you?" Holly prodded.

"I do." His frown reappeared at them involving themselves in his private life. "Well, don't just stand there! Make sure everyone is waiting on the set!"

Their grins let him know they weren't the least cowed by his bluster of anger. He knew he'd have to do something about that at some point. A soft smile formed as he realized he wasn't too worried about it.

In eight weeks, he'd be back with the one he loved.

*************

Seven weeks later, Taos, New Mexico...

This had to be one of the inner circles of hell Thomas was trapped in. There was no other explanation that could make sense better than that one. All his plans, his intentions, everything was one monstrous nightmare.

Nothing about filming his new take on the western genre was going like he'd envisioned.

He'd lost numerous supporting actors due to some type of food poisoning. Two of his stunt doubles were in the hospital due to accidents off set. The hotel they were originally at caught on fire and most of the costumes were damaged from the smoke and embers.

Holly fell while hiking and twisted her ankle all while dragging Addison with her and causing the costume designer to break her wrist and three fingers.

Matt Rodriguez had to leave for a few weeks, halting production since his character was the one the entire plot revolved around, when his father suffered a heart attack.

Jessica Clarke, Hollywood's favorite new actress since her starring role in Thomas's The Last Duchess, had to stop filming her own horseback riding scenes the moment she found out she was pregnant.

Thomas was certain that all of this was occurring at just the right moment to drive him completely insane.

There was no way he'd be able to up and leave to start over. They were halfway done with filming the needed scenes on location. Plus, the backdrop to this desert town was exactly what he needed to convey the sheer hopelessness of Matt's character finding peace and redemption.

He eyed his phone, knowing he'd have to make the dreaded phone call.

He wouldn't be able to be Amanda's date for the premiere.

He needed to stay and combat these problems.

He knew she would understand. It was one of the many things he adored about her. He simply hated the thought of letting her down. And to be honest, he wasn't looking forward to seeing her in pictures on the arm of anyone else.

Who else was more perfect to be her escort to a movie premiere than the one man many regarded as a cinematic genius?

Thomas rubbed his face, softly groaning at what must be done.

He visibly jumped when his phone vibrated loudly on the table with an incoming call.

"Hello?" He tried to not sound so disgusted.

"Oof." Amanda replied. "That might be the most depressing hello I've ever heard."

Thomas pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn't know how to begin letting her down.

"Production must be going rough." Amanda softly said. "I'm so sorry."

"What do you have to apologize for?" Thomas snorted. "Unless you have become some maniacal sorceress and placed a curse upon my film, you have nothing to be sorry about."

He realized how bitter his tone was when he was met with nothing but silence.

"Amanda, I apologize." Thomas began again. "I didn't mean to sound like--"

"I know you didn't." She quickly interrupted before he spiraled on with guilt. "I only meant how sorry I am that I can't do anything to make it better for you."

"You make everything better." He grumbled. "In fact, hearing your voice is the only thing keeping me from yanking my hair out right now."

The sound of her laughter bubbling up brought a softening to his frown.

"We can't have that." She sighed. "I hate I won't get to see you next week."

He blinked. "How did you know I wouldn't be able to take you to the premiere?"

Her chuckle held a touch of sadness.

"Because I know how hard this shoot has been for you and I know you need to be there to complete it."

Thomas shook his head, marveling at how she always knew what he needed before he even said a word.

"I'm going to miss you terribly." She continued. "If Maxwell hadn't made us all promise to stick by his side, I'd find a way to sneak over to Taos."

"I understand." He slumped in his chair. "I was looking forward to finally having a chance to be with you." He rubbed a hand down his face. "I'm sorry I can't be there as your date."

"Then you better make plans for when you are free for the two of us." She replied.

Thomas could imagine the smile she must have just by the sound of her voice.

"What kind of plans would you like me to make?" He asked.

"The usual kind, Mr. Hunt." Amanda replied. "Time where we can be alone without anyone or anything else bothering us. I want no distractions taking your attention away from me."

"My favorite kind of plan." His lips curved. "And you should know that every time I am with you, nothing can take my attention away from you."

"That's all I want to hear." Amanda softly sighed. "I probably should let you go so you can get some rest."

"I doubt I'll get any sleep." He grumbled. "I've got another rewrite to work on with Holly."

"Try for my sake." Amanda gently urged.

He groaned.

"I will for you."

"Good. I love you so much."

Thomas relaxed some in knowing she must truly not be upset with him for canceling their plans by hearing her say that.

"I love you, too."

After he ended the call, he sat there staring at nothing in particular while thinking of Amanda. His frown formed once more in knowing she'd be coming to America and he couldn't enjoy her visit.

He reached over for the script, picked up his pen, then paused.

He wondered if there was a chance she could come here after the premiere.

*************

December first...

"Earth calling Thomas, Come in, Thomas."

He looked up, blinking the world around him back into focus.

"Welcome back." Holly grumbled, handing him a new cup of coffee. "Are we going to change up the scene with the argument Jonah and Marlene have since Jessica can't chase him down during the stampede?"

"Hmm?" Thomas glanced at the script. "Yes, of course."

Holly waited for him to give her something to write down.

Thomas stared at the scene for a few silent seconds.

"Okay." Holly threw her pen down. "Talk to me, boss."

Thomas quirked an eyebrow at her.

"We've been moving at a snail's pace with this script. You've barely shot any new footage. Every time I come into your trailer, you're staring off into the distance." She folded her arms. "There's only two possibilities for you to lose focus."

His eyes narrowed.

"The first one," Holly continued, unfazed by his glare, "is that this desert town has now drained your heart of filmmaking."

He rolled his eyes in response.

"Or you are distracted with a serious issue." She concluded.

He averted his eyes from her.

"What's wrong?" Holly repeated. "Come on, Thomas. I've worked with you too many times to be ignored."

He cleared his throat. "I don't know. Each time I think about the scenes that need to be addressed, I find myself..."

He squirmed in his chair, glaring down at his cup of coffee.

"You find yourself, what?" Holly prompted.

"I find myself thinking of Amanda."

Holly sat back with her jaw dropped.

"It isn't that shocking." He grumbled. "She is my fiancée after all."

"I know that." Holly leaned forward. "But I've never known you to be so lost in thought over her that you weren't able to work!"

"I am working!" He snapped.

Thomas snatched his pen up and x'ed out the entire scene. "There!" He threw it down. "I just made a directorial decision!"

"Thomas!" She scolded.

He rubbed a hand down his face.

"Why don't you take the next couple of days off and go see her?" Holly asked.

"Because I have a job to do, here." He argued.

"Which you're sucking at." Holly mumbled

"That was unnecessary." Thomas bit out.

"No. It's pretty necessary." She took the script and set it back in her portfolio. "Take a break. Everyone else has needed one for various reasons. You need one to clear your head so we can finish this shoot strong."

Thomas groaned, shaking his head.

"You know I'm right. Go surprise Amanda. It will put you in a better mood." Holly swiped up her stuff on her way out. "And we certainly need a more pleasant director right now."

"I won't make it in time to take her to the premiere." He mumbled.

Holly paused at the door. "Then get there in time to take her home."

His eyebrows raised while he calculated the hours he'd need to do just that.

*************

"What'd you think?" Maxwell eagerly asked.

"It was amazing!" Riley exclaimed.

"I never said any of that." Drake snapped. "Why did you--"

"I loved it!" Hana interrupted before Drake could destroy Maxwell's excitement. "I wish I was as graceful as Cassandra Leigh."

"You are even more graceful." Liam told her while slipping his arm around Riley. His smile grew when his wife kissed his cheek. "And I am moved seeing our love story come to life."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "At least you made me true to form." She eyed Amanda. "You're awfully quiet."

"Hmm?" She looked up at her friends. "I'm sorry, did you ask me something?"

"The movie?" Maxwell took her by the shoulders to playful shake her. "Remember seeing it just a few minutes ago?"

Amanda laughed. "Yes. It was great."

"It's a shame you were out of the country during all that." Maxwell slung his arm around her shoulders as they followed everyone out to the lobby. "Then you could have been cast as someone awesome."

"I doubt anyone is more awesome than Ryan Summers." She teased. "You lucked out."

"I know!" Maxwell grinned at her. "Wasn't it like looking at my twin brother?"

"Sure."

Once they were out in the lobby, the group looked around at the crowd.

"Now what?" Drake asked.

"After party, baby!" Tommy Phelps joined them. "We are going to celebrate our success!"

"I've been waiting all my life for an after party." Maxwell exclaimed.

"My man!" Tommy fist bumped him. "I knew you would be down for one." He eyed the other Cordonians. "You're all coming too, right?"

"We are." Riley replied. "Right guys?"

Liam, Drake, and Hana answered in the affirmative.

Olivia rolled her eyes with the pleading looks from Maxwell and Riley.

"I suppose I could go for a drink or two." She responded. "Amanda?"

She nudged her when the duchess remained quiet.

"Hmm?" Amanda tried to focus on the conversation. "Oh! No. I'm not going."

"No!" Maxwell pouted. "How come?"

"Jet lag." Amanda latched on to the excuse. "I think I'll go back to the hotel and get some sleep."

After another firmer refusal, she was able to escape her friends.

All she wanted to do was to go back to her room and call Thomas. It felt so wrong being in Los Angeles without him. Her first premiere had been as his date for The Last Duchess. She'd assumed as quickly as their relationship developed that all premieres would be spent by his side.

She could just imagine his reactions to the overly dramatic scenes, the unneeded explosions, and the way the scenes were framed. Her lips curved into a sad smile as she also thought of how he would have remained by her side, his arm around her or holding her hand, whispering that he thought she looked lovely tonight.

She could almost feel the kisses he would have placed upon her knuckles and temple as they sat through the film. Her skin tingled with how he would have insisted they not go to the after party so that they could return to his home for an evening alone.

Her imagination was vivid enough to conjure all they would have gotten up to once within that peaceful, empty of all well meaning friends, and able to express their love. The kisses and caresses that would follow once the door was shut. The clothes slipping off.

Her cheeks colored as she walked outside of the theater. Her eyes scanned the now empty red carpet, searching further for a taxi or town car to take her back to her hotel. The number of limos lined up made her softly groan over the possibility of having to walk a few blocks in her uncomfortable heels.

As she dismissed each limo and waiting driver without a second glance, she doubled back on the sight of a tuxedo clad man leaning causally against a limo.

Thomas watched as recognition flashed in her expression. Unfolding his arms, he broke out into a smile as she rushed to greet him.

Chuckling, he caught her in a hug that lifted her off the ground. His lips sought hers as she slipped her arms around his neck.

"You came." She breathed against his lips.

"I did." He deepened the kiss, feeling at peace for the first time in weeks. "I've missed you."

"Nowhere near as much as I've missed you." She leaned back to look into his handsome face. "I can't believe you're here!"

He took her hands while motioning with his head toward the limo. "Shall we go home?" He eyed the people beginning to spill out. "Unless you have other plans."

Keeping his hand in hers, she got into the limo, tugging him in behind her.

"My plans only involved returning to the hotel and calling you." She snuggled against him once he settled his arm around her. "Now that you're here, I'm rethinking them."

"Oh?" He pressed his lips to the side of her neck. "I hope they align with my own."

She melted against him as his hands began to wander along her curves. Their lips met again and again in a more heated exchange than the last one.

"I feel very confident that our plans are going to align perfectly."

[bellamyblake]

hiii i don’t know if u are taking prompts but i’d love to read your take on bellamy being unconscious for a prolonged amount of time and clarke taking care of him and talking to him. fast forward to him waking up and confessing he heard everything she said while he was sleeping. i just love the way you write and it would be fun to read it!!

Okay...so this accidentally turned into a 6k fic. I wanted to write just a headcanon but this happened...I’ll post it here and then reblog the Ao3 link in you guys want to check it out there too. I hope anon doesn’t mind and that it turned out okay.

It’s set in the Canon Divergence universe, post season 2 just to give you an idea.

Clarke was cursed, she knew it. She was cursed and them moving out of Camp Jaha, away from the adults and their mom got them right where they were now.

This wasn't supposed to happen-she thought, not realizing that she was actually breathing it out loud quietly to his face while she stroked his curls away and stared into his pale features.

The big, no, enormous bandage on his head made him somehow appear smaller.

She remembered all the times she made jokes about his stubborn thick head and how he rolled his eyes and only half-smilled at her.

Clarke wanted to see that smile again, she was desperate.

Her eyes were pinned on his chest that was slowly rising and falling. Then there were the machines too, the best technology they could provide for him was, after all, at their mom's camp, so she was forced to transfer him here when she realized this was out of her control, but she didn't trust those-she needed to look at him with her eyes, as if she could somehow will him to live that way.

She rests her cheek on the side of the bed and looks up at his face, thinking back on everything that has happened just a few days ago.

He hadn't gone out on a hunting trip-now, that would've perhaps made more sense in terms of him getting hurt, no...he had left their gates in order to chop more trees with Miller and a few other guys and bring them home for all the cabins they hadn't finished.

She had been against it even though they fought a lot less now since they moved away from the adults than when they did back there or even at the dropship-the place they had chosen to come back to.

"There's no need for that, Bellamy. If someone has no place to live, they'll just go in the dropship."

"I don't want them there. It'll be cold and uncomfortable and the kids hate it anyway." he had cut off.

"The kids?"

"Come on, you know they call us mom and dad behind our backs anyway, we might as well just accept it, princess." he smiles and she beams back at him.

"We had worked hard this summer, we got everything we needed. You built most of the cabins, went out and hunt meat. We have the chicken and the cows, enough wheat to survive, even better than my mom would back at Camp Jaha. You could spare yourself this."

"We also don't have enough clothes or blankets or even chopped woods for the fire." he argued "Your medical supplies, despite your constant gathering, are pathetic and Murphy burned through the wall of our mess hall so now there's no kitchen. I have to go."

"It rained hard last night, it'll be slippery." he had rolled his eyes at her like she was his sister before she left for the sea with Lincoln a few months ago and he was scolding her to keep herself safe.

Clarke knew part of the reason why he worked so hard was so he didn't have to think about Octavia and the fact she wasn't around anymore.

"I'll be fine." he grunted back and jumped on the horse Trikru had given him as a gift after she saved five of their children from the flu last winter.

His name was Apollo (of course), it was a beautiful black boy with stunning eyes that reminded Clarke of Bellamy. She still thought the grounders only gave it away to get rid of him because he was just as stubborn as Bellamy was and only he could ever jump on him and tame him when they brought him back to camp.

Miller got in the cart they've made themselves, saluted her before the gates opened and they left but she had a sinking feeling in her stomach about it and she couldn't stop worrying all day.

When they didn't come back at around noon like they were supposed to, she tried not to panic but even Jasper asked her about it a few times and she was starting to lose her patience, so she snapped at him and some of the other kids. Dark clouds loomed over camp and just as the heavy rain started, the gates opened up and Miller screamed for help as he carried Bellamy's body in his arms.

For a second there, she felt like she lost all ground underneath her but she commanded herself to be strong and run to them.

He was unconscious and his face was covered in blood. There were lots of scratches and bruises already forming on him. When she looked down she saw his shirt was torn up and his chest looked about the same as his face did. His left arm was twisted in an unnatural way, falling down the side but the worst of it all was his head.

"What happened?"

"He slipped and fell down this steep hill really hard. We were trying to take off that tree and he just-" Miller explained out of breath "I told him not to go there because it's muddy but he didn't listen. It took us too long to take him out of there, I don't know how much blood he lost." he explains and Clarke looks back to the two other boys that were with them all covered in mud, breathing heavily...terrified that their leader was unmoving in Miller's hands.

Her fingers dug into his beautiful curls and she felt something sticky on his right side. When she turned his head away from Miller's chest, she saw the haphazard sort of bandage they've tried to put there and carefully peeled it away only for it to start bleeding just as hard immideately.

"Must've been a rock he hit or something, I don't know. Tried to make it stop but-"

"You did well. Bring him to meedbay with me." she commanded,hands already bloodied, her heart beating fast in her chest as she gave away her orders to the others in camp.

"Jasper, hot water, right now. Monty, I'm going to need you to assist me, so clean your hands well and bring as many bandages as you can. Murphy, two bottles of that awful moonshine from the kitchen, right now! Monroe, get me that knife you got on the last spring trade at Polis, warm it up on the fire and wait for me to call you, okay?" they all nodded and scattered around before she even made it inside medbay, which was just the first floor of the dropship that Bellamy himself had arranged for her this summer.

She still remembers how angry he had been when he came over one day and told her she can’t treat patients in that chaos and clutter. Clarke had gotten mad that he called it that and they yelled at each other for about ten minutes.

It was then when she couldn’t help herself and pushed him to the wall, pressing her lips against his and kissing him hard. He immideately kissed her back too. Then they pulled away, stared at each other for a moment and left before they could even begin talking about it.

It happened a few more times after-once when they were in the woods, gathering herbs for her when she tripped over and he got all crazy about her being hurt. He insisted he carried her to the cart and placed her on the back, wrapping her ankle in a bandage and elevating it on his jacket.

When he leaned over to check how her head was, he stared in her eyes a little too long and this time it was him who initiated the kiss.

That one moment got a bit more heated with him sneaking his hand under her shirt and pulling her body to his. She felt the buldge in his pants and he the heat in her center. His fingers moved to her breasts and undid her bra while his other hand slipped inside of her.

Just like before, when they were done they didn’t talk about it. She wanted to but something stopped her and he looked like a stormy cloud, eyebrows furrowed, cheeks bright red as he urged the horses to get them home.

He carried her to her cabin and commanded her not to even think about doing anything in the next few days. To make sure, he posted Miller and Monroe right outside, so every time she tried to leave, they stopped her.

And the third and final time was just about a week before this all had happened. They were right here in medbay and she had finally agreed to let him put some order into her chaotic system. He had won her by bringing built-in wooden shelves that he made himself in his spare time (which she had no idea how he found but she was aware he got up earlier than everyone else) and they started hanging them together.

He was the one to fall hard on his ass this time and this should’ve been her cue something was off because she noticed how he lost his balance out of nowhere. She had rushed to him and leaned over while he tried to get back to his surroundings.

“How did that happen?��� she had asked angrily, picking up his chin and staring into his eyes.

“I don’t know, you tell me, you were the one staring at my ass, marvelling my body, princess.”

“Was not!” she slapped his chest “I’m serious!”

“I don’t know...just got a little black before my eyes.” he mumbled huffing annoyed at her but felt his hands moving to her sides, watched his devilish smirk reappear.

“Did you have breakfast?”

“I never eat in the morning.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Well you’re gonna do it from now on!” she said sternly. “That’s an order.”

“I don’t take orders from you, princess.”

“Don’t you?” it was her turn to smile a little devilishly before she captured his lips with hers.

Of course he moaned a little and she knew this time, she would be in charge when she let her hand slip down to his pants and cup the buldge that was already forming there, satisfied that she had that sort of an effect on him.

“Someone can catch us.” he acknolwedged this, whatever it was, for the first time then and gripped her body tighter as he moaned and pulled her closer, feeling her breasts rub against his rock hard chest.

“Then you can lift me up and carry me to the storage room if you don’t think you’ll pass out again, grandpa.” she whispered in his ear. He chuckled and picked her up in his arms with such ease, she yelped.

They came so close to actually fucking then but he stopped himself and let her jerk him with her hand while he sucked on the skin of her neck and massaged her breasts.

When they were done and were trying to put their clothes back on, she attempted approaching the subject carefully.

“What are we doing here, Bellamy?” he looked at her briefly and shrugged a little, keeping his back to her.

“I don’t know.” with that he fixed his belt, got his holster on and gave her a small nod before leaving.

“Get breakfast!” she insisted yelling after him.

He hadn’t done so, she had asked Murphy about it and decided she’ll show him so by being angry with him which resulted in a week of snapping and rather irrational and stupid behavior from both sides.

He kept to himself, mostly going out hunting or working in the woodshop which is what he called the corner under the big tree behind the dropship, south by their wall. She wanted to go there many times but stopped herlself as she wasn’t really sure how to feel about whatever this thing between them was but also because she was angry he refused to take proper care of himself but hypocritically went after her whenever he noticed her not eating and shoved a plate in her hands or wrapped her in hats and scarves once the snow hit.

He was a stupid little self-sacrificial idiot.

The urge to bang his head with a pan and pull him for a kiss was equally strong.

But back then in medbay as she was trying to save his life, all she could think about was that she would kill him if he died, so she focused and tried to do her best. She let Monty to clean the wounds on his chest upon determining them not as serious while she focused on his head. The hole was rather big and deep, she had to clean it up and stitch it well but she noticed there was some swelling at the back of his head too which she didn’t like. His pupils were barely responsive and his breathing was too uneven.

At first she thought she can pull it all by herself. He’d be fine, he just had to rest, the swelling would go down and he’ll get better. She had fixed his dislocated shoulder, wrapped his twisted knee in gauze and put ice on his broken ribs. He had somehow managed to fuck almost every part of his body but what really worried her was his head and the fact that after the first night, he burnt a fever, his breathing got worse and his pulse weaker.

That’s when she had asked Raven to radio her mom. Abby and Kane, of course, agreed to take them in, despite the fact they hadn’t separated on the best of terms. Clarke knew the adults were hoping the delinquents would come running back to them after the winter was through but all scouts and reports, even the grounder ones, said that Camp Jaha was less prepared for the harsh conditions than the Dropship.

They had also managed to establish better connections with the grounders and offer them medical help and assistance as well as some tech in exchange for help with crops and livestock, something her mom and Kane had not succeeded in no matter how hard they tried.

When her mom took a look at Bellamy, her eyebrows furrowed and she got too serious and quiet. Jackson had attached him to an IV while Clarke explained everything that had happened and what she had done to help him but she had been frantically twisting her hands beside her mom, waiting for her diagnosis.

Once Abby's hands moved to his skull and undid the bandage she had made, she carefully dragged her fingers over the scar, then turned his head right and looked up while examining him as she concentrated better this way.

“There’s lots of swelling back here.” she determined and Clarke shot up on her feet. “It’s pressing on his brain hard, that’s why his breathing is so bad and his pulse weak. The fall must’ve been rather strong, the impact his body made with the ground and whatever caused that wound...probably a rock was severe. It’s a miracle he made it out alive at all.”

Clarke wnated to scream-of course he made it. He is Bellamy. Her Bellamy. And he wasn’t going anywhere. She had to force herself to bite back on her emotions and try to sound calm and collected instead.

“What do you think? Will he wake up on his own?”

“Not unless I help him.” she determines “And still...there’s a chance he may not.” Clarke purses her lips and gives her a hard look.

“What do you have to do?”

“Basically make another hole at the back of his skull to relieve the pressure and put him in a medical induced coma until we can determine it’s safe for him to hopefully regain his consciousness.”

“Have you done it before?”

“More than once. There were many work incidents on the Ark.” she had reached out to touch Clarke’s hand but she pulled away immideately and Abby’s face fell “I’ll take good care of him.” Clarke had nodded but the truth was she didn’t believe anyone but herself when it came to Bellamy.

She had no choice, though, so she had to command herself to be strong as she watched her mom wheel him into surgery while she curled up sitting on the metal hallway floor and prayed that he would be okay.

Now here they were, just a few days after her mom had successfully operated on him.

He was still unconscious and she hadn’t left her side. Her eyes fell to map his body from head to toe again-every morning she picked up a clean towel and dipped it in the water, cleaning his face and chest with it, thinking that this is how she could make him feel better.

Bellamy’s first job when he woke up was to wash his face and soap his neck and chest, even in the winter when it was cold. She had caught him by the barrels of water near the kitchen more than once and let her eyes linger for a bit.

Now she squeezed the towel and gently ran it down his face, trying not to stir his head too much, afraid she may cause him pain.

“Your breathing is much better.” she told him “And your pulse is stronger. Mom says they can take you off the meds tonight which means you can wake up tomorrow.” she smiled when she moved the towel to his neck and chest, rubbing against it softly “You’re going to wake up, right?” she asked, her voice breaking up a little.

Clarke bows her head and squeezes her eyes shut, feeling her tears drop on his clammy and somewhat cold skin.

“I’m sorry-” she shook her head “I promised I’ll be strong but...it’s hard seeing you like this.” she cleans up his side, the bruise on his ribs, his stomach all the while avoiding the IVs they had in his arms or the machines they had attached to his chest.

Then she pulls up the blanket to his middle and cups his cheek softly.

“I’m angry with you, you know? That’s just one more reason for you to wake up-I know you love seeing me yell at you.” she smiled and moved closer, kissing his forehead while the tears kept streaming down her eyes and fall on his face.

She moved up and brushed them away before kissing his closed eyelids, then his cheek, after which she ran her thumb over his soft lips.

“You were so stupid! I told you not to go out there but you did anyway. I hate how you pretend that you don’t care about anything yet you walk around camp and make sure everyone’s fine, even me. I know you gave Jasper and Monty the cabin that was supposed to be for you. I saw Monroe dragging the deer pelts you use for your belt to her tent and I am sure now you’ve been giving your breakfast rations to Sterling because he’s still too weak after his sickness and honestly? It makes me want to grab you by the shoulders and shake you so hard, so you can remember yourself, Bellamy Blake!” she whispered.

“Where are you in all of these scheming and secret missions, huh? Who takes care of you?” she rests her head against his chest and hugs him tight, listening to the steady beating of his heart under her ear. “I should’ve noticed it earlier...I should’ve...talked to you about it, not that you would’ve listened but I would’ve at least tried. Maybe if I had you wouldn’t be here.” she moves up and looks at him, still expecting for him to just wake up and snap back at her.

“Anyway, I’m here now. And I’m not going anywhere.” she promised.

It was that night when she started sleeping curled up next to his good side under the thick blankets her mom provided.

The first time she came to check up at him at night and found her there, her eyes widened and she was clearly surprised but she thankfully had the decency to keep her thoughts to herself. In the morning, when Clarke hadn’t moved up, Abby tried asking if she’s comfortable enough like this to which she got a snappy responce from Clarke that she almost regretted after.

The days kept going like this, one after the other and to her it felt like she was in some sort of dream-like state. Still, she didn’t give up.

There was no reason he wouldn’t wake up on his own, her mom said-he’s breathing on his own, his heart’s stable and though he’s weak and lost blood, she still had hope he had been through the worst of it.

Yet, he wasn’t opening his eyes and it was killing her.

Every night she talked to him, ignoring all letters or radio calls from camp. She had left Miller and Raven in charge-they could deal for a week or two while Bellamy woke up. He had done more for them than anyone else, he deserved to be left at peace, the rest of it be damned.

Or so she thought, though deep down she was feeling responsible and her worry grew no matter how hard she tried to push it down.

“You know we never really talked about it...” she spoke to Bellamy one evening when she had curled up by his side getting ready for sleep that she knew she’d barely get anyway “whatever this thing between us...is. I know why you pulled away the last time-it’s too uncertain, this life, camp, the kids-it’s a lot of responsibility that falls on us and this makes it all the more complicated, right? What would they say if we got together? How would we cope with everything if we chose to take this path? I get it but...I don’t know-” she ran her hand up and down his chest “Somehow I think we could do it as much as it all scares me.” she had looked up at him “What do you think?”

Of course, no responce came but she still moved up and kissed his lips, feeling her heart desperately beat against her chest.

“You have to wake up, Bellamy.” she begged “You have to get back to me because if you don’t....I don’t think I’d be able to do this by myself. And it’s not just the camp or dealing with the grounders...I can’t imagine my life without you in it.” she had sobbed out and buried her head in the crook of his neck as she ran her fingers through his curls “Please...please, wake up, Bellamy.”

Clarke cried herself to sleep that night. In the morning, she was awaken by her mom who wasn’t alone this time-there was Kane and...Miller there.

“What are you doing here?’ she had asked, moving up from bed and feeling her cheeks burn as if she was caught doing something bad and not just slept next to the person she cared most in the world for right now.

“Clarke...” Miller began carefully “We need you back at camp.”

“No, I can’t leave. Bellamy’s still not awake and-”

“The first snow hit...there’s already a few cases of the flu going around. Raven and I tried to keep it together but...we need you to come back before it gets worse.”

“No...I can’t go! I can’t leave him!” she said, feeling the panic rise in her chest.

“Clarke, honey-” her mom tried but she snapped at her.

“Don’t!” she cut off “I know what you’re going to suggest. We’re not coming back here. We’re fine on our own.”

“That’s not what I was-”

“I don’t want to hear it!”

“Clarke, please!” Miller tried, taking a step forward after looking at Bellamy’s lifeless body “I know how much you care about him but we need you too.” she felt the anger building up in her chest as she came closer too.

“You need me? What about Bellamy who needed you to get him to camp faster after he fell or at least get a proper bandage instead of a dirty rag that gave him infection?”

“Clarke-” her mom tried.

“He’s been sacrificng his life for you and this is what you do?” Miller’s face got paler by the minute, his eyes filled with tears but he bite his lower lip and stood tall against Clarke who was prodding his chest with her index finger.

“You are his best friend, for god’s sakes, how could you let this happen to him?” she raised her voice and Miller looked like he had just been slapped.

There was a moment of silence in which Clarke realized she had taken this too far and turned her back to them out of shame and fear. Her hand shot to Bellamy’s lifeless one and she squeezed it hard.

She heard Miller ask Abby and Kane to leave them alone before he moved closer and put his hand on her shoulder.

“You’re right about everything.” he said quietly without forcing her to turn around but simply letting her know he’s there “I should’ve been faster, should’ve made a proper bandage. The truth is I never thought I’d see him that hurt and I panicked.” his voice broke for a moment and Clarke turned sideways, catching his eyes.

“But you have to understand, I’d never come here and ask you to get back to us unless I thought it was absolutely necessary.” he swallows hard “I know how you feel about him.” that made her look away with her cheeks burning even hotter.

“I...I don’t-”

“You don’t have to deny it. I can see it clearly, so can the others.”

“They can?” he huffs out a weak laugh.

“You’re not exactly trying to hide it, Clarke. Plus the sexual tension drives us all nuts. We all bet on when you’ll finally sleep together and release us of this torture.” she chuckles out a laugh and lets Miller pull her to his chest “I know it’s a lot...what I’m asking but you wouldn’t be leaving him alone. I’ll stay while you’re back home. I know you’re scared of being in Camp Jaha on your own and I wouldn’t let him be by himself even if he was awake and coherent.”

She looks up at him and sees that he understands her worries extended to more than just Bellamy’s condition-they were the leaders of the Dropship and as much as she loved her mom and Kane she had no idea what they’d do if they wanted to try and push them to bring their two camps back together with force.

Bellamy being weak and sick made the situation even harder.

Miller was right-she had to go back, had to take care of camp and heal the sick kids, then bring Bellamy home with her if he was doing better. As much as she wished to do that now, she knew that he was still rather unstable and her mom’s medical equipment could save his life if necessary. His heart had been a little off the other night and he had a fever in the morning, so she wasn’t going to risk transfering him back home when he barely survived them getting him here.

She and Miller talked through the details and when everything was decided and he caught her up on the latest things in camp, she asked him to give her a few minutes to say goodbye to Bellamy.

Clarke waited for Miller to not just close the door but hear him walk down the hallway and once she was certain it was just them, she sat on the bed by his side, took his hand and cupped his cheek.

“Hey, I don’t know if you can hear me but I still have to say this.” she began quietly, looking down at his motionless face. His cheek was clammy and he felt a little hot to her again but he was just as beautiful to her as ever.

“I have to go back to camp.” she let out with a trembling voice “That doesn’t mean I’m giving up on you or leaving you alone. Miller will be here to kick your ass and finally get you to wake up. I still believe you’ll be alright and nothing will ever change that, no matter how much time passes-weeks or months. You will come back to me, Bellamy Blake.” she insisted

“I know it because...I love you. I’m aware it’s too early to say this, we never even properly discussed what happened but I feel it in my heart and I know yours says the same. You’ve showed it to me a million times by now because love is not just about words-it’s about you shoving plates in my hands, wrapping me in warm jackets, yelling at me for working too hard or carrying me to bed when I’ve passed out in medbay.”

At that her tears were already falling down on their joined hands.

“When you get better, I swear, I’m going to kick your ass so hard, you won’t be able to spell your name. Then after I’m done, I’ll kiss you and break your world in two and if you call me princess one more time...well actually, I do kind of like it when you use it but I’ll never admit it.” she choked out a little “There’s more waiting for us out there, okay?” she finally moved down and pressed her lips agains his, then ran her fingers down his cheek and rubbed her thumb under his eye “I’ll see you soon, Bellamy Blake.”

She allows herself to cry on the way home, wrapped up in a bunch of blankets on the back of the cart Miller came here with. They didn’t have the luxary of Rovers like their mom did and even when she offered it, Clarke denied her. Sterling was the one taking her back to camp-the same boy Bellamy had given his rations to was now taking her away from him. He was still as rail-thin as before but his cheeks were flushed red. His eyes were sad and he only nodded just barely to her when she made it on.

If he heard her cry, he didn’t let it show and she was grateful for him.

The moment she sets foot back on the Dropship, she commands herself to be strong and gets back to her old self-not just for the others but for Bellamy, because she knew that’s what he would’ve wanted from her.

That doesn’t stop her from crying herself to sleep every night when she hides in the storage room and sleeps on the floor, remembering their last time there.

It’s the third day after she left Bellamy back in Camp Jaha, she’s elbow deep in fixing Collin-a thirteen year old boy’s broken leg, when Raven storms in the dropship. Clarke had been angry the kids went out there to supposedly fish but instead decided to skate and have fun while Bellamy was out there fighting for his life but she couldn’t really blame them-life went on no matter what and that scared her like nothing else. She had five more patients-three sick kids that she had secluded to the other corner and two more with breaks from the snowly weather.

"Clarke-” Raven calls out to her frantically but she doesn’t turn around right away.

Work, she had realized, provided for a good distraction.

“I’m busy, Raven. Whatever it is, it can wait.” she insisted while wrapping Collin’s leg in a bandage and trying to fix the torniquet in a way that would allow the kid to move his foot even if a bit.

“No, it can’t.” she says with urgency “It’s Bellamy.” Clarke’s head snaps at her friend and she drops the bandages. There’s a moment of complete silence in the room and Clarke knew she wasn’t the only one staring at Raven expectantly.

“He’s awake.”

She feels the tears gather in her eyes and moves closer to Raven.

“He’s awake?” she asks with fear, feeling like she’s dreaming and she’d wake up any minute now to the realization that none of this was true. It had happened in the past few weeks more often than she was willing to admit.

Raven nods and lifts her hand up, offering the radio.

“Miller wants to talk to you.” Clarke grabs it and leaves medbay before anyone can stop her.

Everything keeps feeling like a dream after that-she is on her way to Camp Jaha just an hour after she talks to Miller who confirms that Bellamy woke up but he was still rather weak and tired, so they let him sleep for now. Her mom said he seemed good, his vitals were strong and while it’ll take him a while to recover, he seemed coherent, answered all her questions and of course...asked for Clarke.

She should’ve been there. She should’ve goddamn been there when he came back.

Clarke doesn’t cry this time, she’s staring ahead, jaw clenched, hands clasped together, eyes boring into the near distance of the approaching Camp Jaha.

She jumps off the cart before anyone can say something-distinctly she recognizes Kane trying to talk to her as well as a few others but she strides towards the wreackage that was Alpha station where Bellamy was and basically starts running down the hallways once she gets inside, unashamed of all the looks people throw her way.

Once she gets there, she thankfully sees no sight of her mom-in all honesty, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to deal with her now but the curtains surrounding his bed were pulled and she stops, listening to Miller’s voice.

“She’s on her way now, she’ll be here any moment.” then finally, the voice she’s been craving to hear for weeks.

“She...shouldn’t have to...come.” it’s weak and so very quiet, not like the strong low voice she’s used to but still....him.

Clarke pulls the curtain with teary eyes and finds him lying in the same bed she used to occupy with him, propped up on a few pillows, somewhat sitting up, face still pale, the bandage on his head just as big and scary, his eyes a little disoriented but ultimately, the same warm ones she fell in love to.

“Bellamy!” Miller pulls back before she can knock him down and throws herself in his embrace. He chuckles a little-the voice sending her heart beating out of its ribcage as he moves his arm to wrap around her waist.

“I’ll give you two a moment.” Miller says after clearing his throat shyly and Clarke hears him pushing the curtain back in order to give them privacy. She holds Bellamy tight in her arms and he hisses.

“Dammit, princess...you’ll break another rib.” she loosens her grip but stays there, finally letting her tears spring free and wet his chest. “Oh, Clarke-”

“You’re here.” she whispers “You’re awake.” it sounds more like a question than a realization.

“I am.” he promises and moves his hand from her lower back to her head, which he strokes softly “And I’m not going anywhere.”

“You better not.” she pulls away and faces him, not believing the fact that his eyes were actually opened. She cupps his cheeks and stares into them, feeling herself get lost in the warmth she found there.

“Or else you’d...wait...how did you put it “kick my ass so hard, I won’t be able to spell my own name?” Clarke’s mouth drops and she moves away for a moment.

“You heard me?” he smiles and it’s his turn to cup her cheek.

“Of course, I did, princess.”

“Don’t call me that!”

“But you said you love it!” she slaps his chest and he winces a little but pulls her up and rests his forehead against hers. “Thank you....for not giving up on me.”

“I never would. No matter what.” she insists. He takes a deep breath and after pulling her hand in his and rubbing his thumb over her knuckles, he looks at her again.

“I love you too.” he let out “I’m sorry it took me so long to say it.” it was her turn to look away shyly.

“You don’t have to say this just because I did.”

“I’m not! You were right-I was showing it in all the little things-bringing you food, getting you to bed...but when we were actually together I...I closed up, built my walls. I was afraid you didn’t feel the same, scared of what everyone else would think of us if they found out. I was stupid...reckless. A thickheaded idiot like you called me.”

“Are you actually admitting to that?” she asks smiling and he groans.

“Just this once.” he pulls her up to his chest again, desperate to feel her closer “I mean it, though-I love you, Clarke Griffin. I think I have loved you from the moment I first met you and nothing, no steep hills or broken bones or cracked heads, would change that.” she smiles and hugs him back tightly again, resting her cheek on his chest and listening to his heart.

“Say it again.” she begs “I need to know this is real.”

“I love you.” he promises as he strokes her head “I love you, I love you...I love you.” she holds him tight in her arms and lets herself indulge in this moment. His breathing calms down and he keeps stroking back up and down and repeating it every once in a while until he stops and she moves her head up in confusion and worry that something is wrong with him again.

“What is it?”

“I mean I can keep on and I won’t mind doing it but...you did make me a promise to kiss me and break my world in two after I came back....princess.” she chuckles again but pushes up on her arms, getting closer to his face. His hand shoots for her cheek as he stares into her eyes again.

When their lips finally meet, he realizes that Clarke Griffin always kept her promises because his world did split in two and he was the happiest man on Earth for it.

[forever-eternal]

Jealousy

They shouldn’t be jealous, but they are.

———————————————————————

“You’re sure about this?”

“Why would we lie about it?”

“I dunno, Gigi. It just seems like he hates us..”

“Funny, Adam said the exact same thing about you.”

“W-what?! We could never hate Papa!”

“Well, you’ll have to tell him that yourself.”

Several groans throughout the room, emotional conversations with the Father you thought was dead for a century would be difficult.

“If you don’t want to talk to him, you could just act like nothing happened and call him ‘Papa’.”

That wasn’t viable either, too much had changed since the 1800’s.

There are 20 States unafraid to call Gov their father or treat him as such: Minnesota, Oregon Kansas, West Virginia, Nevada, Nebraska, Colorado, North and South Dakota, Montana, Washington, Idaho, Wyoming, Utah, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Arizona, Alaska, and Hawai’i. And not even to mention the Departments, Territories, and the Agencies– though the Agencies are more the mans grandchildren.

“Look, kids. I’m not gonna force ya, and neither are yer other Grandparents, but if yer gonna get jealous when he gives the others any affection, you have to talk to him.”

No one responded.

———————————————————————

Kansas was the last State to be inducted into the Union before the Civil War– 3 years in body and less than half-a-year- a State–, and the third oldest State to call Gov ‘Papa’ to his face. Nebraska was the seventh, both Midwestern States– pretty well surrounded on either side by States that watches them in jealousy whenever they called out…

“Papa! We’re out of ranch!”

“Evan, I bought 8 bottles three days ago.”

“There are 49 of us in this house and most of us in da Midwest eat it on everythin’, ya know that!”

“Hmmm…fine. I’ll buy another bottle on my way back from the meeting this evening– but I will not buy anymore until next week. Use it sparingly, all of you.”

“Papaaa…”

“No.”

They did it constantly, almost as if they were mocking the others.

“Papa! Come by mah house this weekend! I got another cow– and she’s just the sweetest thang!”

“Papa, lookit! The sunflowers are growin in, we’ll hafta keep an eye on ‘em!”

“Ey, Papa. Mama said ya haven’t been sleepin’ right lately, ya doin’ okay? Naw, naw– ya look like death warmed over! C’mon, we’re gonna take a nap.”

“Papa.”

“Papa…”

“Papa! Mama!” the Sunflower State beams from where he stands by the patio, the Cornhusker State perking up at the mention. It’s a summer day, the weather is warm and it was decided to be a perfect day for an outdoor grill-by-the-pool. It was still early afternoon, most of the South and a few of the Midwest setting up the backyard, “Thought ya were in Germany for the next bit!”

Gov, of course, looks out of place in his slacks, loafers, and pale blue polo, but at least he wasn’t wearing his usual turtleneck. At the very least, Assistant was wearing a romper in the same shade of blue and sandals.

They both immediately drop what they’re doing, settling the stacks of paper plates and silverware on one of the foldout tables, before running over to the other personifications. They both stood a few inches taller than the man and woman, like many States did, and a few inches broader. Most of the Midwest and South were similar, all larger than the Government personifications in some way. Nebraska and Kansas looked a lot alike in build, actually.

The man smiles– the bags under his eyes looked darker than normal, he’d been getting better sleep and they’d been fading. What happened– allowing his arms to fall open as Kansas skids to a stop in front of him, practically lifting the man off his feet in a hug. Assistant laughs from Nebraska’s grasp, though he didn’t quite lift her the same way, Gov letting out a quiet ‘oomf’ at the sudden shift.

Kansas grins, the gap in his upper front teeth adding to his boyish joy at seeing his parents. Nebraska’s smile more tame than the others, but still just as bright.

“Meeting got delayed,” Assistant chimes as they’re set back on their feet, “We’ll be leaving tomorrow, so we decided to come visit beforehand!”

The others watch in a mix of jealousy and grief.

They want that. To be able to call them Ma and Pa and receive the same type of hugs and hair ruffles and constant words of love and praise. They want that.

They just can’t have it.

———————————————————————

Nevada, Utah, and Colorado may not agree on much, but they did agree on one thing.

Utah’s human kids are the cutest.

Gov and Assistant agree as well.

“Really, dad?” Utah sighs, Colorado chuckling and Nevada snickering behind him as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “I only asked you to babysit.”

“I am babysitting.” Gov retorts, pulling up his sunglasses from where he reclines on one of the patio chairs, “Look at how much fun they’re having.” None of them notice the other Western State at the sliding glass door. California just behind the wall, listening and leaning over to watch.

“Dad.”

“I really don’t see the issue, Micah.”

The 7-year-old triplets, Kayden, Brayden, and Jayden, were in a circle with several large lego sets— lego sets Utah knew he and Ilithiya hadn’t bought for the children.

12-year-old Kingsley fiddled with a fresh-out-of-the-box nintendo switch, and 14-year-old Kayleigh seemed to be dancing with a VR headset over her face.

16-year-old Jaxon was sitting close by the triplets, reclining on one of the patio sofas as he flew an expensive looking drone around the backyard.

Even Paisley, Utah’s youngest at only a year old, strapped to the Gov’s chest via a baby carrier, with her own mini sunglasses on her chubby baby face, seemed to be enjoying herself. And, judging by the pastel yellow mini truck just a few feet away, even the baby wasn’t safe from the Grandparent urge to spoil.

“You bought my baby a car.”

“It’s a little car for baby people, Micah. It even has seatbelts, and Paisley’s such a smart girl,” Gov turns to coo down at the happily babbling toddler, “Aren’t you, sweetheart? Know all about road safety, yeah? You’ll be the best driver, won’t ya?”

“Dad.”

“How much did this cost, daddy?” Nevada asks, still snickering, holding up her phone to record the interaction, “I had to be a lot— I know those toddler cars alone go for $200.”

“Eh.” The man waves the question off, moving to stand from the patio chair with a grunt, “Doesn’t matter.”

“It does.” Utah stresses as the older man approaches, “It’s a lot of money, Dad—“

“Micah.” The man’s voice is softer, sunglasses held in his hand as he gently rests a hand on the Westerner’s shoulder, “It’s alright. I wanted to buy this stuff for the kids, I know they get a bit bored out there during the summer— you and Ilithiya have been complaining about how hard it is to keep them entertained. Consider this,” he gestures to the kids, “a Christmas present.”

“It’s June.” Utah says weakly, leaning into the touch.

“Early Christmas Present.” He corrects, “They can leave the stuff at your Mother and I’s house if you want. Don’t stress too hard, bumblebee.”

Utah sighs, smiling, “Thanks, Dad.”

“Awww,” Nevada coos as Colorado snorts, “How precious.”

California slips away, chests clenching painfully at the sounds of playful banter coming from the back patio.

———————————————————————

Alaska is one of the youngest States. He may be the largest State, the largest man in the house too, but he’s still younger than the others.

He’s not very good at written social cues, and even worse at unwritten social rules. He has no sense of direction, a habit of getting distracted and wandering off: this means that when they go out in public anywhere…

“Let’s go, Ivan.” Gov says calmly, tugging gently on the man’s wrist.

Someone usually has to hold onto him, either his wrist or his hand.

“Coming.” The younger mans’ voice is quiet and soft as usual.

They’re walking through one of the busier parts of the city, where all the stores and such are; it’s an unavoidable place when they need to stock up on necessities.

Other than Gov and Ivan, Oklahoma, Maine, Vermont, and Wisconsin had joined them on their shopping trip. To get everything they need, it takes a whole team.

Vermont is in charge of the cart and Maine in charge of the list, Wisconsin in charge of the second cart and Oklahoma sent to grab things across the store or to run back into previous isles if they forgot something. Gov is there purely to supervise and Alaska to lift anything the others can’t.

It’s going well, Oklahoma rambling about his university sports teams and tornados and such, Gov humming along and Alaska following dutifully behind. The other three watch from behind them, a scowl on Vermont’s face, a grimace on Maine’s and a simple frown on Wisconsin’s.

Each look away, Maine down at the list and the other two to opposite sides of the aisle.

But there’s a sudden presence looming over the Pine Tree State, a hand coming to carefully rest on his shoulder.

Despite the careful movement, he still flinches in surprise— not paying attention to his surroundings—, and the hand quickly retracts.

When he sees the purse of Gov’s mouth, he immediately regrets not paying more attention— cursing his subconscious reaction that lost the familiar, comforting touch.

“What else is there?” The man asks instead, scanning the list over Maine’s shoulder as the State clears his throat.

“We gotta get a few cases of watah bottles, Cal asked fo’ those kale chips they like, and, uh—“ Maine squints in an attempt to read the scribbled mess of words at the bottom of the paper, “I dunno what the hell they wrote down here.”

Gov hums, reaching out a hand. “Let me see?”

Maine hands the list over without a second thought, and watches the man’s grey eyes study the mess of pencil and ink at the bottom of the list.

He sighs, “Eugene, would you run and grab a few boxes of Hostess Sno Balls, Twinkies, and Coffee Cakes?” He closes his eyes tiredly as he hands the list back to Maine, “Just two boxes of each, they need to learn moderation.”

“Aight, Papa.” The ravenette says, vanishing around the corner after flashing the man a grin.

“We’ll head over to the water cases, and meet you there.” Gov said to the other three, referring to himself and Alaska, “Eugene shouldn’t be long.”

“Alright.” Vermont nods, “Meet ya there..”

Gov studies the three of them for a moment, brows furrowing in what looked like concern. He seems to fight himself, before he shakes his head.

“Alright. Be careful, then.”

He and Alaska vanish around the opposite corner of the aisle, Gov gently tugging the other along.

It was…it was so simple. They shouldn’t be feeling this way at Gov using the other’s human names in a public space as required, at him holding Alaska’s hand because the tall man would get lost if he didn’t.

They shouldn’t be jealous over it.

But they know he’d do the same in non-public spaces, preferring human names to anything else, and it stings.

———————————————————————

Gigi said their father thinks they hate him, but that can’t be true. They could never hate him, have never hated him. He…he just doesn’t want to be their Papa, anymore. Right?

…

Then why does he look at them so sadly, when he thinks they aren’t looking? Why do his hands twitch as if he wants to reach out but is stopping himself?

Why does he always sad when they call him ‘Gov’? Why does he always seem to hesitate before calling for them— by their State name in private and more-so their human names in public?

…

Could Gigi be right?

[nangel]

Paparazzi, part twelve

✍︎ word count | 3536 words

✈︎ missing out parts? | series , part 1 , part2 , part 3 , part 4 , part 5 , part 6 , part 7 , part 8 , part 9 , part 10 , part 11

ꨄ author’s note | Guys I just wanted to ask you -since I wanted to do some smut in this story too- if you have some ideas or direction where it should go… I want you to have the best time here and if there are some wishes just text me or send request :) For those who don’t like smut I will mark it -where it starts and where it ends- ! Requests for smut are open ;) ࿎࿎

Confessions

After I arrived at the railroad station I took the walk home. My mom wanted to pick me up but I really needed that walk to clear my head snd as I saw the first cows I already felt a little better. Less traffic, less noises, just perfect. As I arrived at home, the door was already open and I walked inside rolling my suitcases into a corner. “Hellooo” i shouted through the halls and my mom immediately came up to me hugging me tightly which I returned. “So great you’re back at home, honey” she said excited. “For me too” i said calm. “How was Paris , sweetheart?” she asked my going through my hair as always. “Exhausting” i said and she nodded understanding. “You want to take a nap?” she asked snd I shook my head. She walked with me outside on the balcony and brought us some lemonade. I talked to her a lot no matter where I was and I called her almost every day so she knew basically everything. “So…how’s the love going?” she asked teasingly and I laughed. “You’re asking me this every time” i said laughing. “Yeah and that for a reason…is there a guy that you didn’t sleep with who got you interested?” she asked mockingly and I rolled my eyes. “Come on…is there a guy that caught your eye?” she asked me smirking and I shook my head amused moving my hair to one side. “There is…” she said looking at me and I smiled. She gasped. “You are seeing someone” she said excitedly or more stunned. I smiled to myself. I never told anyone besides my best friends. I couldn’t stop smiling and shook my head. “Tell me about him” she said resting her chin on her fist. “Uhm…that’s kind of complicated” i said grimacing. “He can’t be worse than your boyfriends before” she said waving it off. “Well…” i started and she waited impatiently. “Where do I start?…Do you know that one formula one driver? Charles Leclerc?” i asked her and she nodded multiple times. “Of course…what is it?” she asked and I grimaced which made her go silent, looking at me with an expression in disbelief. “Don’t tell me…” she started and I tilted my head with a smile. “You are seeing Charles Leclerc?” she asked in disbelief and I smiled. “Kind of” i said taking a sip of the lemonade. “That’s crazy…I’m a little confused…tell me everything” she said in disbelief and I sighed with a smile. I told her everything while fidgeting with my acrylic nails. Starting with the first time I saw him in the supermarket ending with last night. She looked at me with an opened mouth and a head shake.

“That is unbelievable” she said taking a sip of her lemonade. “Right? If I told anyone no one would believe me” i said and she shook her head. “So you are the mysterious girl with Charles Leclerc?” she asked and I raised and eyebrow. “You know that?” i asked and she nodded. “Doesn’t matter now…why didn’t you tell me before?” she asked placing her hand on mine. “Because it was complicated…I didn’t know how I feel about this but now…things changed” i said softly looking at her. “Aww” she said smirking, ruffling my hair. “So last night was a date, huh?” she asked me smiling and I nodded with a smile. “Our first date” i said smiling and she smirked crossing one leg on the other. “You’re crushing on him” she said smirking. “No. I don’t” i said to her and she nodded smirking which was the worst. “You do” she said and I shook my head. “I think you do” she said and I looked down on the floor, smiling widely. “He even got me flowers” i said showing her a picture. “He’s a gentleman” she said stunned looking at the picture. “They didn’t survive but it was cute” i said smiling telling her everything about our date. “Sounds like you and him are thinking the same way about things” she said and I rolled my eyes. “That’s the point” i said and she teased me. “You are dating Charles Leclerc” she said and I thought about it. “I wouldn’t call it dating…more…seeing” i said moving my head from side to side. “Ge has a girlfriend too” i added snd she leaned back. “Forget him…men who are taken should be kept away…they’re untouchable, same as you” she said and I nodded. “Yeah” i said snd she smiled. “My independent little girl changed” she said smirking and I rolled my eyes. “I don’t need him but I want him” i said smirking and she nodded proudly. “It must be hard with the paparazzi, huh?” she said and I sighed. “If only you knew” i said and she chuckled. Should we cook something?” she asked softly and I nodded walking inside with her.

After dinner I walked upstairs into my room dropping onto the bed exhausted. I got a call from Charles and answered it. “Hey” i said softly. “Hey…how are you?” he asked softly. “Tired” i said running a hand over my face. “Too tired to talk?” he asked and I chuckled. “Never” i said and he laughed. “How is it?” he asked and I sighed. “Great to be back…it’s so calm here I’m not used to it” i said amused. “I can tell…you sound relaxed too” he said and I chuckled. “Did you think about it?” he asked me softly and I sighed. “About what?” i asked him. “Coming to Monaco next weekend…” he reminded me teasingly and I chuckled. “You’re going for it too, aren’t you?” i asked amused and he didn’t stop asking me about his wish. “Maybe…the fashion show is next Friday…I don’t know if I’ll make it” i said and he hummed. “Race is on Sunday so…” he started and I sighed. “If I’m coming I want to see everything, the qualification, the training” i said and I could hear him chuckle. “You’re insanely cute, you know that?” he asked and I whispered into the phone “I know”. “Take some rest…” he said caring and I nodded. “Take care…“ i said softly. “You too” he said and I hung up turning to the side.

Charles pov

After that date with Madlen and the call I knew what I had to do. I needed to break up with Alexandra. I stood up from the bed and walked outside to the living room seeing Alexandra sitting on the couch going through her phone, still styled up. I took a deep breath before walking over to her. “Alex, we need to talk” i said firmly. “I don’t know about what” she said unbothered scrolling through her phone. “About us” i said still firmly. She looked up and probably could already hear it in the sound of my voice. “Look…I’m sorry about everything that happened but I’m just” she started and I laughed bitterly. She already knew and of course now she tried to back up. “Stop…just listen to me” i said stopping her still standing in front of her. “I think we should break up” i said coming straight to the point. She laughed. “Oh yeah…because of that one girl?” she asked me and I knew I couldn’t lie to her now. “It’s hard to explain” No it’s not” she said and I rolled my eyes. “You said that I was not the boyfriend you wished for and to be honest…I needed someone in my life that doesn’t use me and likes me for who I am…you weren’t that person and we kinda separated which put us both down and yes, we had a great time but this relationship is not working anymore for me” i said honestly. “You can think whatever you want but trust me…she won’g give you that either…girls are the same…she won’t be the right one for you” she said and I shook my head. “That’s enough” i said firmly. “Wow…and here I thought we could talk normally” i said shaking my head. “We can” she said softly. “No, Alex…We’re breaking up” i said finally and she stood up to walk after me. “You are breaking up with me because of another girl?” she asked mad. “It’s the best for us…this between us is not love…and I know that you were using me in situations and U’m not tolerating that” i said looking at her. “You’re making a big mistake…she will regret it and you too because you made the wrong choice” she said and I nodded. “Even if it ends up like that, it is my life and my choice so please care about your own problems…you seem to have enough” i said closing this conversation. “Fine! I’m moving out as fast as possible it’s not bearable with you” she said pissed and walked into the bedroom slamming the door. I rolled my eyes and sat on the couch. I felt like a heavy weight fell off my shoulders and I could take a relieved breath and I immediately knew that it was the right choice.

After my break up with Alexandra which was two days ago she moved out, leaving the keys. She was really mad but I knew that she wouldn’t harm us because she was the reason why our relationship turned into a farce. And people would ask her so she would have to explain it and that would not make her look good and she did EVERYTHING to keep her imagine good.

Madeleine pov

It was Friday, the week passed by very fast and for Maureen and me it meant a lot of training and dieting which was a pretty annoying combination. We were backstage and our outfits were listed with our names. The stylists did mine and Maureen’s hair and makeup. We were talking until one of the managers brought me a vase with a bouquet in it. I looked at her confused. “They just came in for you, Madeleine…I put them into the vase” she said smiling and I thanked her before looking at the bouquet. Maureen watched this and pouted before smiling. “Got a mysterious liver?” she asked sweetly. “I’m not sure” i said inspecting them properly. It was a bouquet with about nineteen roses inside, red roses. That’s when realised. “He’s here…” i whispered after letting out a gasp, looking around. “Are they from Charles?” she whispered and I nodded looking around. “Adorable” she said smiling looking at them. “Do you think he’s here?” i asked her looking around. “I don’t know…maybe he just sent them here for you” she said rubbing my shoulder. “Red roses” i whispered with a smile taking the vase to smell on the flowers. “That’s such a sweet gesture…he remembered the red roses you love that much” she said impressed. Of course they knew about the date. “He can’t be here…he has a race this weekend” i said looking at the flowers. “Maybe it’s like back then in Paris” she said and I stood up since I was already finished and the stylist were only waiting to take off the rollers on my hair. “I need to know” i said as I started to walk around searching for him. I called him while walking around. “Charles…I just received nineteen red roses” i said smirking. “Really?” he asked playfully innocent and I laughed. “Are they from you?” i asked softly. “They are” he confessed and I chuckled. “That’s so nice” i said softly. “You’ll look great up there” he said letting out a laugh before hanging up. I was clearly confused but that left when the stylists undid the rollers leaving me with a 90’s blowout and a lot of volume. We got into our first outfits and stood in our positions. My job was to close the show and that was really important for me. Everyone was here Olga, Annabelle, my parents, Candice and even Valentina which made me feel even better tho to the nervousness. Right before the show we talked a last time to Olga, Annabelle and Valentina. The music started and the first models started to open the show in their outfits, me and Maureen following. It was another feeling. Walking there in those outfits representing a brand…it was breathtaking. There were things that were a little hard for me but I managed to do them. It was great.

It was the last round and I was walking as the last one to close the show. As soon as I reached the front of the runway I posed moving my hips from side to side. I was in my element and saw Charles sitting in the second row watching me intently. If it wasn’t my will to keep a straight face just as ordered I would’ve jumped around but instead I just focused and turned around to walk back closing the show. But before walking back I gave him a smile which made him smile and whisper something into his friend’s ear.

After minutes of congratulating everyone and some excited screaming and just some partying that we did it we saw our friends come up to us again and we hugged them tightly. “You both looked so good up there…I almost cried my eyeballs out” Annabelle said proudly holding my hand. “Yeah…you were fire up there and looked so professional for starters…I loved it…from my side it was a huge success” Olga said hugging me. “Thank you” i said softly. “I’m so proud of you” she said kissing my forehead. “Don’t make me cry” i warned and she put her hands on my shoulders, rubbing them. From the corner of my eyes I noticed Charles and another man walk up to us. Maureen bit her lip and smirked at me. We had a long conversation before they walked away to get us something to drink. I smiled at Maureen and tilted my head before walking to Charles with Maureen following me. “What a surprise…you came” i said looking at him as we reached them. “Of course I came…” he said proudly and I tilted my head, Maureen watching us intently with a grin. “How did you manage that? The race, did you miss it out?” i asked wondering and he sighed. “No I didn’t miss it out…” he said before whispering “But I would miss it out for you” to me which made me smile. “You looked stunning up there” he said and I laughed. “Thanks” i said and his friend agreed. “Yeah, great performance…I’ve never seen a fashion show before but it was really good, you both have much talent” his friend said and me snd Maureen laughed thanking him. “Yeah…Madlen, Steven, Steven, Madlen” Charles said introducing us and I shook his hand. “Nice to meet you” i said to him. “You too” he said and I pulled Maureen closer by her shoulders. “Charles, you know Maureen already” i said and she nudged my arm. “Great to see you again” he said with a smile. “Yeah…I’ve heard a lot of you…Maddy talk a lot about you” she said and I gripped her shoulders tight which made her gasp. “But it never gets odd” she added and I rolled my eyes. “Is that so?” he asked me grinning and I rolled my eyes. Steve also introduced himself to Maureen and I noticed that him and her immediately got into a conversation which Charles and I watched. “Alright” i said turning to him again. “You look stunning, as always” he said snd I posed playfully before laughing. “I like your hair” he said pointing at it. “They put a lot of work in it and trust me sitting in a chair with rollers for two hours is no fun” i said annoyed. “No joke?” he said and I nodded. “Respect” he said and I smirked proudly. “I took some videos and pictures from pur seats…if you want to see them” he said and I nodded which made him get his phone and come next to me to show it to me. They really looked great and I was really impressed by my own work. “Can you send them to me?” i asked looking at the videos. “Sure” he said as he sent them to me. “Are you busy right now?” he asked and I looked at Maureen. “Do we have to do something?” i asked her and she shrugged her shoulders. “I guess not. I’ll just need to get changed those clothes are too much for going outside” i said pulling on the dress I was wearing for the last round of the show. “I’d like to abduct you for something” he whispered and I looked at Maureen that gave me a nod. “Do that…Steve and I could go for a coffee…I really need that now” she said and Steve nodded. “Great…give me ten minutes” i said and Charles smirked.

After I was back in my black baggy jeans and the white crop top Charles walked me outside. “Thank you for the roses by the way…” i said confidently. “I remembered it” he said proudly and I laughed. “I immediately knew to was you” i said proudly and I felt him take my hands. I looked into his eyes and let our fingers intertwine. He stopped his walking just to look at me. “I broke up with Alexandra” he said and I looked at him confused. “You broke up with her?” i asked him shocked. “Mhm” he mumbled and I put my hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay?” i asked him softly. “Yes…I’m more than okay especially right now” he said smiling at me and I looked down and smiled. “You’re unbelievable” i said pushing him a little. “Why did you break up?” i asked him but I realised it was a dumb question. “There were several reasons…you know them but there was one in particular” he said and I nodded understanding. “You let yourself be put down by negative energy and that made you suffer” i said and he shook hus hand. “That’s one way to put it but No.” he said before adding. “I made a lot of mistakes in my life especially by continuing this toxic relationship but the biggest I made was to let you go” he said and I looked up at him. “I’m confused” i said looking up into his eyes. “Let me make it clear…When I first met you I already knew that you were special…when I met you at the race I was curious and after all the time now I’m still curious about you, Madlen but now…after our date…the only thing I know is that I can’t let you go” he said with a sigh and I looked at him in confusion. “Still not clear?” he asked and I tilted my head. “I want you in my life, to spend more time with you…letting you slip away every time anyone of us left was the biggest mistake and I don’t want to do it again so I needed to break up” he confessed. “Because of me?” i asked stepping backwards. “Not only…but you were a reason but in a good way cause it doesn’t feel right to me to touch you when I have a relationship and I want to be a loyal person for you…even more loyal than I’ve been before in my life” he said and my jaw dropped. “I don’t know what to say” i said overwhelmed with feeling. “At least…I can do this now” he said walking up to me to wrap his arms around my waist and pull me into his embrace. “You did that before” i whispered resting my hands on his shoulders. “I meant this” he said protectively giving me a kiss onto my forehead which made me lift my head up. He placed a soft kiss onto my forehead and I closed my eyes. I already knew that I wanted him but now I wanted him even more. He was just too cute. “I wanted to ask you something else too…do you want to come to England with me?” he asked in a whisper, looking down at me. I smiled up at him. “Yes” i said with a big smile and he smiled down at me. “It would be a great motivation for me to have you at my race” he said smirking and I chuckled. “I’ll do my best” i said and he pulled away letting our fingers intertwine again just like before. “By the way…you can take your girl group with you” he said smirking and I shook my head. “It would be better” i said amused. “I’ll get you into a hotel” he said and I chuckled. “Don’t…that’s Annabelle’s thing…she’s the planner in the group” i said and he laughed. “Alright…” he said.

Next part

[oldcountryboutique]

What she said 💁🏼‍♀️ 🩷

Do I put icky sticky wraps on my body? No.

Am I being asked to significantly change my diet or count calories? No.

Do I have to forcibly to throw back something that tastes like it's regurgitated cow cud?? NO!

Do I engorge myself with enough water to feel like I'm 'bout to blow at the seams? 🤣. No.

Do I have to exercise until I fall from exhaustion, ffs, No. (I fall often enough as it is 😅)

Am I counting steps? No.

What IS being asked of me.

Take 2 capsules.

Wait 20 minutes (life makes this go by quickly)

Drink the pink drink (legit one of the best tasting drink supps out there)

Go on about my day.

Have one more beverage closer to bedtime that fortunately doesnt frack with my insulin levels.

Go to bed.

Repeat.

Well, of course mindful, complete nutrition and exercise WILL help to improve your results. That goes without saying.

My friends, when I tell you I cannot run or exercise like I used to, believe me. Yesterday I dislocated my hip by misstepping on to a curb.

What you can also believe is that I don't think I'll ever go another day without my NCT.

My outlook on life has changed.

My energy levels are through the roof, yet, no jitters. (I'm sensitive to caffiene)

IM SLEEPING BETTER

My fat is literally melting off.

My lean muscle mass is increasing.

My inflammation is down!

My GI issues are improving!

Oh, and my ADHD..Brent has literally pointed out how I can now SWITCH POINTS in a conversation, because *Squirrel!*, but actually REMEMBER the point I originally had to have a fully rounded conversation.

That last one, guys, is so huge for me. My attention and focus has improved so much I havent forgotten a single dose of my medications in over the last 2 weeks!

P.S. It's free to set up an account. Accounts can get coupons and product credits at random. There is no purchase needed to receive these random bonus bits.

Am I talking too much?

Sorry. I don't shut up when I find something I'm actually excited about. 😆

Disclaimer:

We make zero product claims. Meaningful weight-loss requires a healthy diet and exercise combined with good nutritional intake. Product results vary for individuals. We make no guarantees of specific results. These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. This product is not intended to cure or prevent or diagnose any disease. Not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. If you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or have any medical condition or concern, consult a doctor before using this product.

[quoteoftheweekblog]

E.M. FORSTER - ‘A ROOM WITH A VIEW’ (FIRST PUBLISHED 1908)

First sentence:

' "The Signora had no business to do it," said Miss Bartlett, "no business at all." ' (Forster, 1990, p.23).

On the view:

' "I have a view, I have a view." ' (Forster, 1990, p.24). ' "A view? Oh, a view! How delightful a view is!" ' (Forster, 1990, p.24). ' "Women like looking at a view; men don't." ' (Forster, 1990, p.25). 'It was the old, old battle of the room with the view.' (Forster, 1990, p.171).

On Socialism:

' "Am I to conclude ... that he is a Socialist?" ... "And presumably he has brought up his son to be a Socialist, too?" ... "Of course, he has all his father's mannerisms, and it is quite possible that he, too, may be a Socialist." ' (Forster, 1990, p.29).

On tourism:

' "I hope we shall soon emancipate you from Baedecker. He does but touch the surface of things." ' (Forster, 1990, p.36).

' "They walk through my Italy like a pair of cows. It's very naughty of me, but I would like to set an examination paper at Dover, and turn back every tourist who couldn't pass it." ' (Forster, 1990, p.39).

On Italy:

' "One doesn't come to Italy for niceness ... one comes for life. Buon giorno! Buon giorno!" ' ' (Forster, 1990, p.37).

On gender:

'Girls like Lucy were charming to look at, but Mr Beebe was, from rather profound reasons, somewhat chilly in his attitude towards the other sex, and preferred to be interested rather than enthralled.' (Forster, 1990, pp.53-4).

'It was not that ladies were inferior to men; it was that they were different. Their mission was to inspire others to acheivement rather than to acheive themselves.' (Forster, 1990, p.60). ' "Men don't gossip over teacups. If they get drunk, there's an end of them - they lie down comfortably, and sleep it off. If they're vulgar, they somehow keep it to themselves. It doesn't spread so. Give me a man - of course, provided he's clean." ' (Forster, 1990, p.123).

On life:

'She had complained of dullness, and lo! one man was stabbed, and another held her in his arms.' (Forster, 1990, p.62). ' "Preserve me from people who have seen better days, and bring heirlooms with them that make the house smell stuffy." ' (Forster, 1990, p.122).

On literature:

' "We literary hacks are shameless creatures. I believe there's no secret of the human heart into which we wouldn't pry." ' (Forster, 1990, p.69).

'Her attitude was: "If books must be written, let them be written by men" ... ' (Forster, 1990, p.158).

'She no longer read novels herself, devoting all her spare time to solid literature ... ' (Forster, 1990, p.168).

On the authorial voice:

'Playing bumble-puppy with Minnie Beebe, niece to the rector, and aged thirteen - an ancient and most honourable game, which consists in striking tennis-balls high into the air, so that they fall over the net and immoderately bounce; some hit Miss Honeychurch; others are lost. The sentence is confused, but the better illustrates Lucy's state of mind, for she was trying to talk to Mr Beebe at the same time.' (Forster, 1990, p.130).

'It is obvious enough for the reader to conclude, "She loves young Emerson." A reader in Lucy's place would not find it obvious. Life is easy to chronicle, but bewildering to practise ... ' (Forster, 1990, p.161).

REFERENCE

Forster, E.M. (1990 [1908] ) 'A room with a view'. London: Penguin.