#she said there was a lot of hope for me getting better quicker since im fairly young

[sketchbook-of-shadows]

I love how therapy is like

Minutes 1-5: introduction, talking about light subjects, weather whatnot

Minutes 6-57: ATTEMPTING TO SPEAK THROUGH SOBS

Minutes 57-60: "you did well and you are able to vocalise your thoughts well, we will talk more next week"

[catscidr]

hi.. hello... may I request a dottore fic w/chronically ill reader? chronically ill as in, can't get enough sleep due to pain, doesn't clean themselves/shower, or doesn't eat a lot due to the pain and loss of appetite.

this part is a bit self indulgent but maybe reader can't walk properly due to it and needs assistance by dottore (or his segments) to hold her hand and let her cling onto them as they walk?

absolutely understandable if not! hope you have a good day :) 🕊

yes!! absolutely!! (included this other ask too bc i felt they were similar enough) im sorry i disappeared for a bit, life happened and this and that and i didn't have time to write and when i did i just.... couldn't write LOLヽ(；▽；) i don't have a chronic illness so i did my best with what i had (google and my own experiences with body pains n stuff(?) ) so pls lmk if there's like. any wording i should change and whatnot. big smoochies to u nonnie i hope this makes you feel at least a little better ♡♡ ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝ cw: a whole lotta fluff, established relationship, dottore is probably a little ooc bc he's very soft, him and The Clones are doting on reader HARD. reader is shorter than the men includes: fem reader, dottore and his segments (Omega is the oldest, Delta is webttore, Iota is the youngest), Columbina is mentioned, fatui npcs are also mentioned wc: 2,3k

The doctor was infamous for being cruel, aloof and barbaric. From his experiments to his way of treating his coworkers, practically everyone that worked in the Fatui wanted nothing to do with him, since even if they happened to not get on his bad side, even being associated with him meant other members of the organization would look at them funny. The only people the Harbinger spoke to daily, apart from you, were his many segments. 

The same couldn’t be said for you though. When you could, you��d spend time with Viktor or Ekaterina whenever they were in Snezhnaya, hang out with Damselette when she was free or simply just make small talk with anyone willing to stop by for a chat. Unfortunately, you haven’t been able to enjoy other people’s presence since your body’s been feeling quite sluggish as of late, exhaustion seeping into your limbs much quicker than it should. Your predicament made it so that you were confined to the four walls of your room most days, human interaction being limited to Dottore and his clones. 

Not that you particularly minded, since they were an entertaining bunch. Dottore took care of you most of the time, but since his job was quite demanding, he couldn’t be there for you all the time. Which is where his segments came in. 

“The soup isn’t that hot, and I already blew on it! Just eat already,” Delta grumbles loudly, his patience wearing thin as it made way for aggressive worry to take place. You stick your tongue out at him, a tired and petty act of rebellion despite your situation. 

“I dare you to take a sip. For sure it’ll be able to melt your mechanic tongue right off,” you huff in annoyance, both from the minimal hours of sleep you’d been getting and your own patience coming to an end. The man makes a tsk sound, torn between wanting to prove you wrong by humoring your suggestion or wanting to just grab an ice cube and tossing it in the bowl in malicious compliance. He doesn’t have time to decide though, because two people come into your room right as he opened his mouth to reply. 

“Prime told me to check in on you,” Omega says as he breaches the doorframe. “You’re taking too long.” he adds, crossing his arms. The older segment stares down at his maskless coworker, lips curling down in a frown. Delta scowls, readjusting himself on your bed- he was sitting to your right, his legs thrown over the side of the bed. He glances over his shoulder at the interruption, scowl now much more genuine as he glares daggers at the older segment. 

“I would have been back a long time ago if someone,” he doesn’t hide the way his eyes glance over at your sulking form, “had cooperated with me.” Still holding up the spoon he had tried to feed you previously, he lowers it into the bowl while gesturing for Omega to come closer. The latter walks over to the bed calmly while Iota saunters over to your left side, chatting up a storm about how he’s missed you and asking when you’ll be joining them back in the lab again. 

“Maybe if you knew how to speak to women,” the oldest taunts, lips curling into a small grin, the only feature visible on his masked face. You giggle as Delta bites back an insult, purposely ignoring his superior to instead try to make you get something in your system one more time. 

“Where’s Dottore?” you ask the Omega segment, turning your face away from Delta. The latter glares at you, handing over the bowl of soup to the other man. Iota suggests feeding you but is quickly dismissed by the other two, much to his dismay. 

“Busy. Although he said he would come by to test something, if I recall correctly... didn’t mention what it was, though,” the masked segment says, blowing on a spoonful of soup to cool it off. You nod, eating the spoonful when Omega presents it to you, earning a look of disbelief from Delta. “How are you feeling today?” the oldest asks, tuning out Delta’s many choice words aimed at him. You do the same, focused on eating and taking your time swallowing the food so as to not upset your already sensitive stomach. 

“Could be better,” you respond with a sigh. “I feel pain... everywhere. And I’m tired but I can’t sleep,” you add between spoonfuls. Omega nods, letting you rant as he silently listens to you while subtly observing the way your chest heaves up and down, as if your lungs were working overtime to accommodate to an elevated heart rate. 

He hums, dipping the spoon in the bowl to feed you again. You shake your head at him and put a hand up in front of your mouth, your brows creasing your forehead. The clone doesn’t push further and instead hands Iota the unfinished bowl of food, quietly asking for him to put it away. The young boy nods eagerly, happy to be of use as he scurries away. Delta follows after him to make sure he doesn’t break anything, but glances behind his shoulder to take one last look at you, worry obvious on his usually irked face. 

“How long has it been since Prime has last given your previous dose of aspirin?” he asks, leaning closer to you to push your hair out of your face. Expression scrunched up in discomfort from the sudden food intake, you make a noise of discontentment, a vague answer to his question. He frowns but doesn’t voice his displeasure aloud, instead comforting you through your nausea. Noticing pearls of sweat beading up on your hairline, Omega pulls your bed sheets away slightly, making you more comfortable. 

“Can you try swallowing for me?” he asks gently, tilting his head forward and to the side to look at your throat. It takes you a hot second but after some struggle you do as he instructed and swallow, your throat bobbing up as you do, and the segment hums in satisfaction. “Good,” he murmurs quietly, placing one hand on your shoulder to help you straighten your back. 

“Let me help you up. Hold onto my hand for me?” Omega asks, helping you slip out of bed, putting a strong arm under yours to help you stand up. You wordlessly interlock your fingers into his own and wobble slightly, knees weak and devoid of strength, but he holds you up, bending his own knees slightly to accommodate your height. The wave of nausea comes and goes, making your legs unsteady as the clone helps you walk towards the bathroom connected to your bedroom. 

Delta comes back without Iota in tow and immediately notices your discomfort. His legs work faster than his mind and he’s to your left in the blink of an eye, supporting your weight as well to help you and Omega out. The three of you reach the sink counter and as the oldest helps you sit up on it, Delta squints at his fellow clone. 

“Can one of you get my bucket,” you manage to croak out between deep breaths, head slumped forward to rest against Omega’s shoulder. While he rubs soothing circles on your back Delta quickly grabs the bucket you kept in your room, footsteps as silent as he could as to not disturb you. You murmur a quiet thank you to him, sitting up to the best of your ability as you shoot him a grateful smile. 

“Are you feeling well enough to bathe or are you still lightheaded?” Omega asks, one of his gloved hands coming up to your forehead. He feels some heat seep through the leather fabric but waits for your answer nonetheless, crimson eyes covered by his mask staring into you. You nod, leaning into the coolness of his hand. 

“Mmhyeah, jus’ help me out a bit,” you mumble sleepily, exhaustion taking over your nausea. Delta doesn't need to be told twice as he turns on the tap to fill up the bath, keeping a hand beneath it to make the sound of water splashing in the tub quieter to avoid bothering you. 

✧✧✧   

With a towel resting over your head and newfound energy flowing through your limbs, you saunter into your partner’s main lab to find him. Omega had left shortly after you finished bathing, begrudgingly telling you that he had to go back to work- but Delta stayed with you long enough to keep you company while you let your eyes rest. He gave you some painkillers- nothing like what Dottore gave you to keep the pain at bay, but it worked as a temporary solution- and you felt energized enough to leave your bedroom to get ahold of Dottore. 

Delta walked behind you, not wanting to go back to the laboratory just yet but the last thing he wanted was to leave you alone, his mind working up a multitude of scenarios in which you’d get hurt. Although he was all bark and no bite, he still cared about you immensely- more than he’d ever admit. He watches your hair drip water onto the pristine white tiles as you walk and steps on the water with his boots, smudging the liquid to wipe it away. 

“Dottore!” you exclaim happily, eyes lighting up when you finally catch sight of the familiar mop of blue hair paired with his matching tired eyes and scarred skin adorning his face. The Harbinger looks up from his work, eyes displaying a mix of surprise and something akin to irritation- a result from catching him off guard. 

“Darling,” he says softly, quietly enough that you barely catch the loving nickname slipping past his chapped lips. “Did you eat?” he asks, brushing the dirt off his hands on his slacks. You engulf his torso in a warm hug, immediately comforted by the familiar faint scent of his cologne and whatever cleaning supply he used in his lab. He returns the hug gently and Delta looks away immediately, flustered at the sight of his boss being publicly affectionate. 

You respond with a muffled mhm, refusing to pull away. “Didn’t eat much but it was something. Omega ‘n Delta helped me bathe. Took something for the pain. Now I’m here,” you summarize, face still smushed against him. He hums in approval, but concern still creases his brows as he uses one of his hands to rub up your back and the other to dry off your hair completely using the towel on your head. Delta murmurs an excuse before leaving the premises, not able to withstand the pda. 

“You shouldn’t be out of bed,” he says sternly but softly. “I’m working on something that’ll help you in the long run, it’ll do you good to allow your body to recuperate as much as it can. Have you been sleeping alright?” 

You slump against him. Of course he’d notice how tired you were even if he couldn’t see your face. 

“...No,” you mumble. He doesn’t respond, but you feel his head moving as he looks around his workspace, seemingly looking for something. He lets out a quiet aha when he does and he brings his arms down to your shoulders to push you away. 

“I have something you can take to help you sleep. You shouldn’t feel nauseous nor dizzy when you take it as well,” Dottore says, immediately talking about the possible complications before you can even open your mouth to refuse his offer. “I tested it out myself,” he adds, lips curling into a small smile when he sees your face change from a pout to bewilderment. 

“You? The great Dottore, ex-scholar of the Akademiya, willingly taking medication to make him sleep? You never get rest, and you expect me to believe you when you talk about sleeping medication?” you say with an amused scoff. Dottore raises a brow at your teasing but doesn’t comment on it, instead he chooses to brush his pointer finger’s knuckle beneath your eyes. 

“You should believe me because I never get rest, my love,” he says fondly. “And because your dark circles are so prominent, I could probably see them from the other side of the laboratory.” he adds. You huff but lean into his touch, eyes drooping from the burst of energy catching up on your body. You hear him chuckle under his breath as he shifts his body to grab the medication in question and a syringe with a sterilized needle, preparing the equipment to administer it to you. 

“If you get an adequate amount of rest, I’ll take two days off work to take care of you properly. How does that sound?” he asks lightly, flicking the syringe to let out any air bubbles out. You look away with furrowed brows and roll your eyes, but still give him your arm. 

“Now you’re just trying to bait me,” you say, looking at him from the corner of your eyes. He shrugs, not arguing with your accusation because you were technically right. When he’s done with the syringe you feel his arms wrap around you, the warmth of his body making you sigh pleasantly. 

You can’t tell what it is that makes your body grow so incredibly tired so suddenly; if it was the medication, the strain on your body or if it was because you just felt that comfortable in Dottore’s arms, but you didn’t really care. As you felt Dottore move you to one of his couches, you reach out to grab onto his sleeve to keep him nearby. 

He complies, crouching to be at your level as you crack your eyes open to look at him. You murmur a quiet love you and shut your eyes contentedly, smiling softly once you feel his lips make contact with your forehead as you hear him clearly say I love you too back. 

[werrrrrd]

CHARLES XAVIER X OC pt.11

WARNINGS FOR ENTIRE STORY: shock therapy, manipulation, death, suicide, surgery is mentioned including an undetailed description, stitches, slight malnutrition, forcive murder, abuse of authority, blood, lots of blood stuff since this is like her power, anger issues, aggression, mentions of murder as well as the actual murder, mind reading, OC is not very kind to herself sometimes, let me know if you notice any others. No sexual assault but definitely Shaw being creepy.

AN: Thank you for being patient while waiting for this part! It is oh so juicy and I hope the wait was worth it. The next few parts wont be as consistent but I SWEAR ON MY LIFE THE STORY WONT BE ABANDONED!! I am dedicated to finishing it but I also need to get caught up in school and draft all the rest of the story to make sure that its a good ending and will be satisfactory to all you's

The mansion was beautiful. Wood detailing lined the ceiling and warmed the dark hallway. Only the glow of the room raven was in gave me any light and a large window at the end of the hall. I walked a couple paces down the wide hall hearing a soft echo of when the heels of my boots hit the floor. I wanted to explore, but Charles’ disconnection was bothering me more than my urge to wander. I walked a few more paces wondering if I'd have to use my powers to find him. That's when I heard gasping in a room on my left. I rushed into what was a medium room with floor to ceiling windows on the far wall and empty bookshelves.There, Charles was crouched down with his arms wrapped around his legs slightly rocking back and forth on his feet. I felt that his heart beat was off the charts and I rushed over to him to make sure he wasn't hurt

“Whats wrong!?” I put my hands on his arms and he lifted his head to look at me with wide, afraid eyes only just noticing my presence. 

“It's n-nothing” He gasped out “im okay, I-ill be fine, shes alright now” Tears streaked down his face and he was inhaling and exhaling quickly and shallowly. I could feel his feelings spill back into mine as we reconnected. He knew everything would be alright with raven, he was just overwhelmed. Very overwhelmed, and uncertain and feeling intense pressure and suddenly I felt incredibly guilty for never wondering if Charles was doing ok like he had done for me. I had to fight to stop myself from freaking out too and make it up to him.

“Breathe Charles!" I said to him and kneeled down in front of him. He attempted twice to calm and slow his breathing but he only gasped in more air and it worsened. His panic only increased as he realized he couldnt get a breath in and he reached for his throat like he was choking.

The speed of his heart was making me feel woozy so I pushed him back off of his heels. He landed with his butt on the floor and his hands went behind him to catch himself from laying all the way back. His eyes flashed with even more worry. I pushed his chest until he scooted with his back against the wall. His legs sprawled out and I moved forward to straddle his lap. My hand went to his heart and I got close so that I could control his blood better. He looked at me pleading and confused. A few tears slipped from his blue eyes and he gasped in more air and wheezed as it exited his lungs. I focused on where his heart was, pounding unbearably hard, and slowed his blood gradually to get him to calm down. His hand went to press mine further into his chest, realizing what I was doing. His eyes fluttered shut and eyebrows knitted together. 

I gulped, suddenly my heart was beating quicker, and not because of his panic that was subsiding. My eyes flitted down to where my hand was on his chest with his hand over it. He hiccuped once or twice but his breathing returned to a normal pace and he let out a shaky but long exhale. 

I looked back up at him and saw that he was already staring back at me with intensity. The streaks down his cheeks shimmered in the soft light, my other hand rose and wiped the tears from his face with my thumb. His eyes searched mine carefully. The moon in the window reflected in them brightly and made them even more starry. I couldn't look away as his eyes flitted across mine, trying to read me. He let out another breath and I felt his heart rate steady completely. My hand dropped from his face but he caught it in his and held it where it rested on my leg. I swear it was so quiet, the air was still and all I could hear was us breathe slowly and quietly.

He inched forward, looking timidly between my lips and my eyes, looking for something telling him to stop. I only watched in a trance as he got closer and sat up off of the wall. I held my breath as he reached me. My hand still on his heart, and his over mine. His lips pressed against mine tenderly, tentatively, they were soft and just the slightest bit salty with his tears. I returned the emotion in my kiss. My hand moved from his heart which had picked up its pace slightly and cupped his jaw once more. His went to my back and pressed me against him. We moved slowly and carefully. He craned his neck against me yet still moved with so much gentleness. I pushed my lips further into his and relished in the feeling of his breath on my skin and our lips moving together. 

We broke apart and I let out my own breath and turned my head down, blushing too hard to look at him. He kept me close with his arm around my waist and I felt one finger slowly trace a line up and down my back. Our foreheads pressed together and my thoughts returned to how good it felt to be touched in such a gentle and kind way. If it was anyone but Charles I wouldn't trust it, this care, I would expect an ulterior motive. But I couldn't find it in me to believe Charles had any ill intent. Despite being on opposite sides of a looming war, he was holding me like I was precious to him.

He tilted my head up with his fingers on my chin and I looked up at him with a dazed look on my face. He searched my expression again, making sure I didn't seem regretful or unsure. When he didn't see anything he shifted his grip on my hand and intertwined our fingers without breaking eye contact. 

“Thank you.” He said to me earnestly

“For what?’

“Saving me, saving Raven, kissing me, god, you've done so much i am thankful for”

He whispered his accent thick and full of emotion. I smiled softly at him and my other hand fiddled with the end of his button up shirt mindlessly. 

“Thankyou for trusting me.” I said softly in response.

“I can't help it.” He said without pause. My heart skipped in my chest. Everything felt so incredibly right with the world. I hadn't felt this way I don't think ever, and my hopes of achieving this feeling had completely blinked out years ago. Actually I don't think I had ever thought this feeling was possible. Completely peaceful, my heart feeling like it was everything it should be, that I was everything I should be. Not a single thing was wrong. I did not understand how Charles had changed my mind about so many things in such a short amount of time. How could he have made me feel so whole? 

We smiled at each other for not long enough before his smile slipped slightly and he furrowed his eyebrows ever so subtly.

“Whats wrong?” I asked. Suddenly the feeling threatened to go and I wanted to do everything possible to prevent that

“How did Shaw find out? About our meeting?” he said carefully eyes still wide and searching.

“...He found someone, a man, who told him”

“Hmm” Charles looked away. He knew, he knew that it had not been that simple but he wasn't forcing it out of me. Yet the worry of losing this precious moment to a rotten end had me scrambling to fix things.

“Well, we had to torture him… I… I had to torture him. But I had no idea that it was about you, I thought… well I didn't know what Shaw wanted from him” I felt my gut twist as the words came out. A stab of self disgust and guilt formed in my stomach. Charles didn't say anything for a moment.

“You… you tortured him," He stated quietly. It wasn't a question, more a realization, or an understanding that he had not wanted to come to but could not ignore anymore. It broke my heart because he was right. Now I was quiet. His trust in me was not as firm as I believed, as I hoped, it was. And I couldn't blame him. It wasn't smart to trust me, I was working for a very bad man. That fact that Charles hadn't locked me up was objectively stupid. Even more stupidly, here we were, on the ground. With me on his lap and my hand in his and our lips tingling after the most perfect kiss I could ever imagine. But I had somehow hoped that he saw through it, that he knew how much I hated it and how much I hated Shaw. But I was being stupid too.

He had lost the fondness in his eyes and it was replaced with a sad stare. I pulled my hand from his and stood from his lap. He followed after me. 

“I should go.” I said noticing that the sky was getting lighter outside, the sun threatening to rise, and realizing I had overstayed. I needed to get home before Shaw woke and noticed I was gone. If he saw I was gone again, that I had run away after years of having given up then he would be suspicious and figure out what had changed. He would find out about Charles and take him away from me. And now, what hurt even more was that I could sense that Charles wasn't as comfortable with me being here as he was before. The last thing I wanted to do was make things worse.

“I don't understand May, why?” he spoke before I could walk away 

“Why what?”

“If you’re on his side, then why do you keep helping us? And why are you on his side? is it saftey? I could keep you safe here!” He said exasperatedly. I could feel him come up with another reason that could explain why I was with Shaw, maybe he thought that I just wanted to be with shaw. That I agreed with him like Emma did, but dread rose up in him at the thought and he swallowed instead of speaking up about it. He ran his hands over his face “I don't get it. I dont get you,” his eyes found mine again

“Its not that simple,” I said, backing towards the door. He stepped closer to me as I stepped away.

“May, please don't run off again.” He said with sadness and hurt in his eyes

I walked toward him trying to ease his hurt and hesitantly took his hand again. He didn't stop me so I laced our fingers together again. He looked down at our hands with his eyebrows furrowed again.

“I have to go, It was risky coming here at all,” I said sympathetically “I wish things were different, really, but there's nothing I can do,” 

He furrowed his eyebrows and pulled his hand away, “I don't know why I'm trusting you. Shaw, he's a monster, and you…”

I felt an unjustified stab of hurt cut through me again. 

“No one knows that better than I do, but please, keep trusting me. I don't think I could handle it if you hated me.” I said and it was honest. I barely knew him and yet I felt like he was the only thing holding me together. It broke my heart to think that he might hate me for the things ive done even if they were things I deserved to be hated for. I waited for Charles to respond but he was quiet. He did not look at me only at the ground in between us. I sighed, holding back tears and decided it was better that he hated me than that Shaw found out where I was. 

“I'm sorry. Really,” I said to him, Still he was quiet, but it looked like he was forming words. I waited for a little while. His questions and confusion manifested onto his expression but nothing came from his mouth. I knitted my eyebrows together waiting for him to say something. But no, he seemed to give up on the words he wanted to say and looked away again. I took that as my sign to go and pulled my hand from his reluctantly.

He didn't follow me as I stepped out of the room. I ignored the strong urge to stay with him that always arose when I left his presence. The urge that ignored all reason and persisted no matter the circumstance. I only glanced back at him once I got to the hall to see him still looking at the floor. I held back tears as I tried to remember where the door was.

Still the warmness of the mansion was calling to me. I wondered how peacefully I would sleep here if I ever got the chance and shook the thought out of my head before I got too caught up in wishful thinking. That would only make things worse.

Once I got to the front doors, I saw Erik hiding in the shadows making me jump slightly. Once again I face palmed for being too distracted to notice him with my powers. Usually they were always noting where people were and how on edge they were, notifying me who to stay away from and most often, how to avoid Shaw. But Erik didn't seem to be about to attack me based on the speed of his heart. I glanced at him as he watched me go for the door expecting him to say something but not stopping to wait for it. when my hand hit the door knob he finally spoke up

“Whats your angle?” 

I stopped and turned to him still keeping my hand on the door “huh?”

“What are you planning?” He stepped into the light of the windows and came a few steps toward me.

“Im not-”

“Charles wont read your mind now, but that might not be the case forever you know?” He said in a menacing tone. “Eventually he’ll crack and he’ll find out everything. Everything you're trying to hide.” he came to a stop and put on a wide stance that would have worried me if I wasnt a little bit anxious to get home. "The only reason he wont do it now is because he's worried what he'll find." he glared at me.

“Im not trying to hide anything. He can read my mind for all I care, honestly that would make things easier” I gripped the knob as I spoke. I meant what I said. If he read my mind then he would understand, the only thing I might actually want to hide was his effect on me, how much I thought about him, which was just a tad embarrassing. But then he would know that I really didn't mean any harm. He would know why I worked with Shaw, why things were the way they were. He would have the answers to all the questions he wasn't asking me. 

Erik's expression flashed to shock before he looked away to cover it. His eyes came back to me when I spoke again

“Go ahead and let him know. My mind is open to him, any time he feels like he wants answers, he deserves that at least, I hope it brings him some peace...” I said staring into Erik's eyes, unwavering to let him know that I was serious, that I didn't doubt a word of what I said. He breathed out evenly looking for anything untrustworthy in my gaze. But I didn't have time to convince him so I opened the door to go, stepping out, back into the cold night.

[commiecricket]

Candela Obscura S2 - Thoughts So Far

Spoiler-Free!

i had the pleasure of seeing the premiere in theatres and it was PHENOMENAL. im gonna get right into it.

first off! you don’t necessarily have to watch the first season. i think you’ll have a bit of a better grasp on things and it’s also just fucking fantastic so i highly recommend. but no, you don’t have to in order to enjoy this campaign.

everyone embodies their characters so well. you can absolutely feel the love and detail put into them. you can feel them getting into their roles as the episode goes on and by the end, you’re completely attached.

it definitely starts off a lot quicker than season 1. we get right into the good stuff with a cold open directly to action. it starts off strong and ends with a bang.

HELL of a first episode, i’ll tell you that.

the vibe is definitely different from matthew mercer’s campaign. spenser has a unique GM style that took a minute to get used to. threwe off a bit at first, but i think it fits the narrative so far.

i pulled together an auggie cosplay just for the hell of it. did some makeup inspired by s1e3 and got dolled up in my best paperboy attire.

unfortunately i was literally the only one dressed up (+ my sibling in just general dark academia clothing). i also had to walk around a very busy store beforehand. so that was a bit awkward but honestly, i was so excited i didn’t care.

all in all, it was incredible. if you enjoyed the first season or are into any kind of body horror or thrillers, give it a try.

and now.. for the details.

SPOILERS under the cut!

i cant wait to see more of their backstories. im super happy with the amount of backstory we got this episode. not too much or too little. just enough to be intriguing and get you invested, while still leaving some mystery.

starting the episode into immediate action was a bit off putting, ngl. i was startled by the pretty significant difference in how spenser is GMs in contrast to matt. i adore his play style but it took a second to get used to. as the episode progressed i could tell it was working really well for this campaign, which is pleasing.

im immediately drawn to sean and marion. i loved auggie and have a fixation on newsies so i obviously have a specific character type i enjoy LMAO. their personalities and interactions with everyone are fantastic.

the PTSD-flashback-type scenes were a great addition imo. it added a lot to their characters. plus that interaction when marion gets his scar? 100/10, gorgeous, tore me apart. i will be watching that scene again when it gets posted and that is a threat.

marion’s breakdown shattered my heart and the other party members had such interesting reactions. im hoping we have more moments like that sprinkled throughout.

of course i love everyone so far. auntie b’s complex history with each party member, nathaniel’s bits of family history, jean’s struggle beginning to shine through, sean’s internal battle with trauma / vague history, marion’s conflict with his own abilities… its all so good.

needless to say i think we’re going to be fed well this season.

my sibling was crying during a few parts but i only really teared up when jean said goodbye to her dad. i knew it was coming but damn it still tugged at my heartstrings.

that entire last scene was just so. GOOD. the entire theatre was losing their fucking minds. you could hear whispering, gasping, nervous giggling. jean’s gilded 6 was wild.

my favorite part of the night was probably when jean was investigating the body and pulled an eye from his heart. as spenser revealed what she found, a loud cough/hacking sound came from the back of the theatre.

you could tell it was probably just a coincidence but after a few seconds of silence people started to laugh. it was just a silly moment that made me really appreciate the atmosphere. as someone who rarely watches films in theatre (or at all tbh), it was a pleasant experience.

anyway i fucking LOVE co and have not stopped thinking about it since the last season ended. so i am very obviously hyped. cant wait to see whats next!

spenser sparke, taliesin jaffe, chris lockey, shaun ellis, matthew mercer, the party members of both seasons, and everyone else who has had a hand in this series — thank you. youve created something viscerally beautiful.

[kahayaya]

04/07/2023

Wow its been a while since almost a year ago.

A lot has changed the past year and there’s lots of ground to cover that I don’t think I can encapsulate within this post. So I’ll do my best to highlight what is on the top of my head today.

Why diary now?

Well figured do a little check with myself and I wanted to jot down my thoughts. Its kind of random but felt like today is a good day to write down my updates.

Work

Big things with work. As of December 2023, I have converted Full Time with my job and no longer under contract. I would say a huge thing as I did technically get a pay raise but since I’m now working under California, I get taxed. So roughly I take home the same amount from my contract, with slightly more. Work overall is not bad. Definitely feels like I’m doing my job and ever so slowly learning new things. I’ve gotten the understanding of what I should be doing and I can do it quick without asking for much help. So now I’m just working on another project that is related to ETL work and my work is a lot quicker than last year. I feel very competent at what I’m doing but looking forward, I want to see how I can progress within the software engineering world. For now I have planned to finish the project I’m working on and do a self check in on if I can move either forward with another project that is more lead by me or find another medium for a job. So time wise, i’d say another year.

Social Life

Life has been good to me recently. I took a quick peek at my last post and the title was loneliness. Through that rest of the year, I was lucky to stumble across friends that are mutual with Daniel from USF. I’ve played a lot of video games with them and got to know them better. They are all LA based and are from there. There have been numerous times where I have went to LA that had raves that we went to or a little hangout spot before I went to Vegas. Last december I went to Lake Tahoe with some of them. Last week some of them came up to SF to hangout and we also went to Napa for wine tasting. I’ve also hung out more with Carmen and her little, Josh. They are probably the closest thing to having people in proximity that I can ask to hangout with. I’ve also got to meet some of Josh’s mutuals and they are pretty cool to hang with. Kass has also left to HK for her work and this happened in October. We still keep in touch every now and then but she is coming back for her birthday in September. Looking forward to that. Aside from that, I’ve also learned to find new things to do own my own so I don’t rely on others to have my social fun. Recently I’ve been cooking at home, which is really fun and takes my mind off of the boredom. With the cooking, I have brought it to friends to try and that also revolved around my social meetings with friends. It makes me feel cook to cook for myself and for others to try my cooking. They really like the cooking so it makes me feel good. So as of today I’ve been exploring new recipes to cook and have been making Joshua Weissman’s recipes. A very fun way to cook and the recipes make me understand ingredient use and ways of cooking. There still more for me to explore and sometime this week I wanted to try making tiramisu. 

Family:

My dad recently got surgery. That went well and I went back to vegas to help around. He’s walking around and he said the pain is not there. But now my mom is going surgery and its p big. My brother is planning to go back and assist with my family. So I hope all goes well with my mom’s surgery. My brother is also expecting a child, so Im going to be an uncle. Exciting. Weird to think but looking forward to being an uncle. 

Also gonna wrap up as I have to do things but thought I’d note of things in life but today is going well. IDK when I’ll post again but maybe a big life change.

Cheers

[mekakitsune]

i walk this earth all by myself |renee blasey (wraith) x gn!reader

never in her life did renee think she would feel this way.

her heart burns in her throat as she sees you smile. a genuine yet sad one you give to ajay and her on the airship. the battle had been anything but easy. a painfully long and equally tiring match led to the three of you pretty beat up, but alas, victorious. we are lucky to have her, she thought to herself. she didn't like seeing you hurt. ajay made quick work of patching herself up while doc buzzed quietly in the background.

renee wasn't listening to what was being said between the two of you, the pounding under her skull making it hard to focus on anything. ajay made her way towards her in hopes of getting close enough to fully assess her injuries. bold.

"im fine.." renee muttered, clearly not wanting to be touched.

"cmon...youre still bleeding.." she says, quite defeated for the usually eccentric and confident girl. the look she gave ajay was enough. with a sigh, she returned to her place, the small bench in the aircraft, next to you.

it'll never be me.

she lets her eyes fall closed while the craft sputters as they land. all she wanted to do was to clean up, and go to sleep.

the journey back to her room was a quick one, not wanting to be bothered by anyone trying to "help" her.

it had been a few hours since the three of you arrived back at the base, each of you going your respective ways after bidding goodnight. renee headed towards her room, completely ready to take a quick shower and then pass the hell out.

she makes quick work in the bathroom, emerging from the small steamy space feeling a little bit better than she did before. she chooses to put on a simple black tank, and sweatpants that are surely a few sizes too big.

by this time it was late. pushing past 2am and renee was ready to come crashing down. she began unmaking her "made" bed but stopped when she heard a tiny knock at her dorm room door. she stood for a few seconds, mostly praying that the person would just assume she was asleep and leave. once more, a tiny knock. who the hell is that at 2am? she moves to the door silently and peaks through the small hole placed on on the top of the door.

outside she found a sight she did not expect. it was you, also freshly showered and clad in some dorky pj pants and a shirt she could have sworn belonged to elliot.

it took her a minute to decide what to do, but her heart acted before her brain could, and she pulled open the door.

"hi...im really sorry if i woke you up" you said quietly, it made her heart squeeze tightly. you looked so tired, it made her wonder why you made her way down to her room this late.

"i wasn't asleep yet. its okay, but why are you up so late? is everything okay?" she didnt mean to ask so many questions at once, it just felt like it was second nature for her to make sure you were not in harms way.

"i could ask you the same question yknow." you said with a small smile.

renee huffs, putting on the typical "i dont care" act.

before she could come up with an excuse, she noticed your figure. you were shaking. your arm was wrapped in bandages, bruises littered your exposed skin.

"seriously....are you..alright?" she asked softly this time, looking you in your eyes. she could stare into them for the rest of her life.

"im...fine, i think. i dont know, i guess im just still shaken up, a lot people got hurt today, and i cant help but feel like its partly my fault yknow? if i was just quicker with my reaction time then-" you played with your fingers as you carried on, trailing off when you heard her scoff.

you meet her eyes once more to see her looking down at you.

"you know it wasn't your fault. it wasn't anyones, but especially not yours." she sounded...sincere.

part of you wanted to break down right then and there, comfort seemingly making you feel even worse.

she noticed the way your body trembled. she wanted nothing more than to take you away somewhere far away from all of this. somewhere she knew you wouldn't be living in fear of the unknown. shes been in your position many times before. she understands your guilt.

maybe it was due to the exhaustion, or the slight frustration of being pulled into the hallway seconds before she was about to slip into a deep sleep. without much thought, she gently grabbed your hand, pulling you into the dark room behind her. the door clicked shut behind you, suddenly you felt very out of place. her room was dimly lit, but strangely comforting.

"sleep with me tonight." she said simply, and your eyes grew wide. she studied your reaction for a moment before pouting. cute.

"i didnt...mean it like that. weirdo.." had the room not been so dim you would see the rush of heat cover renees pale cheeks.

"you dont... have too, i just, know what its like to be stuck in your own head, yknow." you could tell your reaction threw her off, but you quickly backed yourself up.

"are you really asking me to get into bed with you renee? i mean...your offer is tempting" you teased lightly, already making your way to her plush bed. with a roll of her eyes, she follows behind you, turning the light completely off in the process, hoping that the darkness would hide the embarrassment she felt.

feeling the mattress dip under your weight, you slip under her covers as if they were your own, leaving room at your side for her. she stands unmoving, clearly unsure of what to do.

"i can sleep on the floor...if that makes you more comfortable" she said, pretty foolish considering you were in her room.

"what!? no way...its your room, just...lay down please?" your voice was quiet, scared if you made too much noise you'd simply scare her away.

without much more of a thought, renee slips into the bed next to you. she was too tired to argue.

shes tense, and it's awkward, laying flat on her back on the edge of the bed, scared to get too close.

you cant help the pang of guilt in your chest, hoping silently that you truly weren't intruding.

a small sigh leaves her lips.

"i meant it. when i said it wasn't your fault. i hope you know that..." she said, eyes moving to catch your features. you looked so beautiful to her, like always.

"thank you, renee." you responded, eyes locking onto her grey ones.

maybe it was the exhaustion, or unresolved tension taking over. you move closer slowly, laying your head on her chest, waiting and still to see her reaction.

and it never came.

in fact, you felt her arm reposition to wrap itself securely around your shoulders.

another sigh. this one not out of discomfort or frustration. out of peace. the pounding in her skull finally dying out as the exhaustion truly takes over.

"im here for you y/n, always." she whispered, voice full of something you couldn't quite recognize.

holding her closer you choose not to respond verbally, allowing yourself to relax in her arms, eyes slipping closed with a content sigh.

"i hope you mean it. i dont plan on going anywhere." you say, smile evident in your voice.

renee hums in response, fingers tracing your shoulders lightly. sleep fills the room soon enough, allowing the two of you your own bit a peace, finally.

all shes ever wanted was to feel safe, and she does. you make her feel grounded, tearing her from plaguing thoughts. for that, she would always be indebted to you.

[extravalgant]

concept: the wizards' cards have textures based on their effects and how often the card is used, like literal playing cards that get worn over time. i know i shared this in the discord but i wanna see how u interpet it with art bc i cant art

AW THANK U FOR COMING TO ME LEAH im flattered u want to see my artistic interpretations omg

I REALLY LIKED THAT IDEA YOU PUT IN THE DISCORD... i never thought that the cards would get worn down over time through heavy use . ITS SUCH A GOOD IDEAAA most of your ideas are so good<33

that being sad i thought about it more in school while i was waiting for a friend to finish up in class and heres what i got

— i feel as if novice decks + cards have a sort of "block" on them - that means there is a spell that prevents newer wizards from putting too much magic into their spells and tiring themselves out quicker. the magic is more stilted, which is why some may fizzle more over others. but they are made specifically for new trainees in mind, so more experienced wizards dont use them.

(i hope the explanation makes sense....)

ANYWAYS . ill do it by groupings so elemental school is up

— i feel as if pyromancers are more prone to burning their cards and decks to a crisp - hence the charred edges around their cards. falmea has to teach novice pyromancers about fire safety and how to safely put out a fire caused by magic (rather than fire caused naturally, imo i think they're two different things)

— as they steadily grow more confident in keeping their flame up and consistent, these types of accidents will stop, and they would stop burning their cards too. however, i think that the charred edges remain simply because it's fire and you're going to expect it to get burned either way. but now there's a more smokey quality to the way that it smells and looks.

also. i think the words and appearance would also get smudged and disappear over time, so they would probably have to rely on their memory or the way that the card feels (or even cast it) to see which one it is.

— ALSO i think all spell cards all look the same, but the corners are marked with the schools colors<3 i think it looks cool

— for thaumaturges i feel as if they would always freeze their cards so that they would be unusable in battle - the magic cant really flow into a spell card when the card itself is just basically a chunk of ice omg

for this, i feel like greyrose would cross some classes with falmea - she teaches the pyromancers how to relax the grip on their flame, and falmea would teach the thaumaturges how to allow themselves to relax, flow out of their rigid state.

— as they learn to control the rate at which their ice magic manifests, their spell cards are instead dusted with a light shade of frost, that which can be easily cleaned off. the words can become a little bit more harder to read and a bit foggier, though, so sometimes they have a chance to cast the wrong spell.

— diviners are 100% wrecking their cards like crazy. some students would have to constantly get new sets of decks or spell cards because storm is such a strong school off the bat - lightning tears through the protective block sometimes, often times making them practically unusable.

some people drop out or switch schools because of this issue - it's too much work to have to constantly replace torn cards or learn how to rework your magic into a better way.

— i think with enough time, diviners can learn how to redirect magic into a more consistent way (because storm magic in general is very inconsistent) -- they are still more likely to tear their cards in a fight, but it starts more at the edges, rather than novices almost tearing huge chunks and bottom/top halves off.

— for conjurers i feel like theyre the types to start bending their cards - perhaps out of nervousness or habit. when you have an uptight teacher like cyrus, i think that kind of manifests itself into other behaviors.

— for some reason, i feel like their cards are more likely to shimmer and shine more. since their school mainly deals with the mind and creativity, the cards and decks reflect that. that being said, it may shimmer too much. to the point where novices can't even make out the creature of the card, and end up summoning the wrong one.

self-explanatory, but sometimes their mind may be clouded by other things, and i like to think that the mind and magic is connected, hence why it will affect the spell cards.

— for necromancers, i feel like when their magic takes the necessary sacrifice, it also ends up taking chunks out of the card too. you can have the right rituals down to perform a spell, but it doesn't mean the sacrificial aspect isn't the part that messes up most novices.

i think after diviners, necromancers come in at a close second at wrecking their cards. sometimes the whole card disappears and you're like "what the heck".

— sacrifice is a core part of the death school, so malorn and dworgyn teach the novices how to make the sacrifices smaller, more localized to the edges of the cards. it's why older, experienced wizards may have cards that look like they've been eaten around the edges.

— for theurgists, i feel like they're the school that doesn't wreck their cards most of the time. there's has to do more with growth than anything else, hence why i think their cards are the ones that are the least replaced.

rather, i think things begin to grow on and around the cards. tiny vines that tear through the spell cards, wrapping around the edges. they can be ignored most of the time, but if a life wizard has their emotions and magic tied particularly close, these vines can and will get out of hand.

— experienced and older theurgists will have these sorts of vines around the corners and edges of their cards, however it may differ on plant type. because magic is different for every person, the flowers that grow there might differ from each person. the spells are worn, but because of life's rejuvinating energy, they look considerably newer compared to other schools.

— AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST... SORCERERS . this one stumped me a lil bit im ngl. i think novices have problems with concentrating on flipping between each of the schools as their attacks and supports demand it.

cards that feel wet and soggy, dried in some places as they use an a elemental school card; cards that look transparent in some places, bits and pieces gone from spiritual schools; spotty and fuzzy writing that comes from using sorcery in their own school.

— ITS... A LOT TO HANDLE. which is also why some people may end up transferring out of balance. i feel like sorcerers may have a class with each of the teachers of the seven schools, to level each of the magics that come with handling all seven of them.

— older sorcerers may get special decks and spell cards to help prevent the spell cards from straight up getting destroyed or unusable. i like to think it has a time factor -- turning back time on the cards appearance so that it lasts longer, just to give a throwback to the sands of time storyline instance in mirage.

[myrulia]

Im a lil shy to ask in my og account so i will do it in anon! Can u do prompt 19? ( i hope im not breaking any of your rules!) your writing is delightful! 💖❤️ lots of love for u!

.｡.:*✧Prompt 19: "Are you falling in love? I have a feeling you are."

.｡.:*✧Warnings: Reverse hashira au, mentions of decapitation

╰╴⇢｡.:*✧A/N: I honestly had lots of fun with this so thank you! You deserve love as well!💜

`` The meeting shall now commence. ``

Muzan Kibutsuji, the leader of the Demon Slayer corpse, announced to the 9 hashira before him. They all kneeled in his presence out of pure respect, their heads hanging low but high enough to the point of seeing him.

`` Today we will discuss an important matter regarding our Moon pillar, `` said the male with such gentleness in his tone.

His words did cause them to raise their heads in confusion, knowing that the Moon pillar, or better known as Michikatsu Tsugikuni, was never one to involve himself too much in situations other than the purging of demons that wished to cause harm to humans. All eyes were on the spiky raven haired man for a split second before Kibutsuji spoke once more.

`` [Y/N], you may come out now. ``

You revealed yourself by coming from the shadows of the building you were inside, stepping onto the engawa just a few feet away from where Kibutsuji stood with his child close by. You fidget with your fingers out of pure nervousness, being in front of the 9 most powerful demon slayers you ever heard of in all your 19 years of living. The fact that they were in their presence alone made you want to poof out of existence.

`` This is [Y/N] [L/N], a very strong demon slayer who I believe has great potential. I wish to raise her ranking in sight of her power, so as of today, and for the rest of her time as a demon slayer, she will be a tsugoku taught under Michikatsu. ``

This brought shock to the pillars who now brought their heads up to get a better look at who you were. But the Ice pillar drew his eyes elsewhere, to Michikatsu. 

`` Our quiet Tsugikuni getting a cute tsugoku? It makes me quite jealous. ``

`` Mind your tongue around Kibutsuji, Douma, `` spoke the Shockwave pillar, or better known as Hakuji Soyama. The male always had a deep resentment towards Douma, and you had yet to learn the extent of it all. Michikatsu, who had been silent the entire time, took the chance to ponder his own thoughts and really process it all. A tsugoku? He did not have time to teach a student when he so desperately desired to get stronger to protect the weak.

Kibutsuji raised a finger to his mouth, causing the pillars to suddenly stop speaking. In your eyes, this was the utmost level of respect one can receive, truly shocking you at how much they devote their lives to this man.

`` Now then, how about we allow [Y/N] to introduce herself? ``

Your head snapped up in Kibutsuji's direction, your eyes wide with shock but all he gave you was a small nod, looking at the pillars again only to see that their eyes had locked onto yours. You cleared your throat before speaking, nervousness taking over your emotions.

`` As you have heard before, my name is [Y/N] [L/N]- but you may call me [Y/N]! My breathing style is the breath of moon, similar to Tsugikuni-san. I hope I meet your expectations of a demon slayer. ``

You bowed your head low in respect, hoping that your introduction was a decent one, but when you heard a hearty laugh erupt from the Ice pillar, worry started to set in that you made a fool of yourself.

`` She really is a cute one. Makes me upset that I do not have my own tsugoku. ``

`` That is because the last time you had a tsugoku, `` started Hantengu. `` You got the poor thing lost. ``

Lifting your head, you are met with the pillars now conversing amongst themselves, semi-arguing about the situation with Douma and his former tsugoku who apparently quit after multiple attempts of asking the latter out. You could not help but but let out a small snicker, bringing the attention back to you.

`` I was the one who made her laugh first!`` Said Douma, feeling triumphant at that moment.

`` No, it was just your stupidity, `` said a young girl with long white locks who got up and spoke with attitude in her tone, although her gaze was now directed to you. 

`` I apologize for them, I'm Ume pleasure to meet you. ``

The young girl bowed, but following right after was everyone else who also bowed in your direction. The whole ordeal painted obvious signs of shock onto your face because you always thought it was the pillars who deserved respect, not the other way around.

`` I apologize for my insolence as well, and my idiotic co-worker here, for our terrible first impression. ``

Hakuji held his head the lowest before raising it again, flashing you an attractive smile that would make any woman swoon immediately. You smiled in return at the 8 of them who decided to formally apologize, but the one who you assumed to be Michikatsu was silent and still. 

`` Now that we are all acquainted with [Y/N], the meeting will now come to a close, you are free to do as you so choose. ``

And with that, Kibutsuji went inside the building with his daughter holding his hand until they were no longer in sight, leaving you with the 9 pillars who went back to conversing with themselves, unlike another woman who you failed to truly notice. She had long brown hair, as well as long bangs covering her eyes and pale skin. You stared until suddenly you felt someone's presence behind you, a tall one at that.

Your small shriek of shock grabbed the attention of everyone still in front of you, looking to see Michikatsu appear behind you in a matter of seconds, a serious expression all over his face. 

`` How do you expect to be a good tsugoku if you scare easily? Always be on guard no matter who you are with. ``

The male left just as quickly as he appeared behind you, your nerves being left rattled and all over the place with how much he startled you. A look of concern was given to you by Hakuji, Douma, and Ume, the only three to really interact with you.

`` Dear [Y/N] got so scared, don't worry I'll protect you from Tsugikuni~ ``

`` More like he needs to be taught some manners, `` spoke Ume as she helped you up, flashing you a beautiful smile. You simply nodded, processing the turn of events. Was that same rude behavior something you'd have to endure during your time as a tsugoku?

                     ◆◇◆◇✧◇◆◇◆

Nightfall came quicker than expected, but it was much anticipated. Tonight would be the night you get to directly study under Michikatsu, following him under the moonlight as you study his movements and learn everything he teaches you.

You put on your haori, as well as sheathing your katana inside your saya and swiftly leaving your household to meet with your sensei at the Demon Slayer Corps headquarters to discuss plans for the night.

You arrived there early and ahead of time so you can make a good first impression, only to see the spiky raven haired male leaning against a tree with his arms crossed impatiently.

`` You finally arrive. Good to see you have the mindset to be early on any occasion, that is the only decent trait you have so far. ``

You approached the male with your eyebrows furrowed, having enough of his attitude, but a voice within you stopped you before you could say anything that would make the man before you have a reason to dislike you.

`` Thank you sens- ``

`` Gratitude will get you nowhere. ``

Michikatsu suddenly leaped into the tree he was previously leaning against, standing on a sturdy branch and looking down at you below him. 

`` Tonight we shall practice your speed if Kibutsuji-sama has acknowledged you. So, try to keep up with me. ``

`` Wh- ``

Before you could voice out your opinion, Michikatsu already leaped from the branch and onto another tree. Your reflexes instantly kick in, causing you to run after him and jump into the tree where he previously was, only for him to leap to another tree. The process continued of you tailing him hopelessly throughout the night until you both were well into the forest beside the headquarters.

You managed to catch up to your teacher, but just before you could land beside him the male landed in a small clearing beside a pond with koi fish swimming about freely in the clear water. He suddenly stopped to catch his breath seeing as how you both have been playing this game of cat and mouse for quite a while.

You landed beside him, catching your own breath and watching as the fish continued to swim freely, the silence taking over between you. 

`` For a fresh student, you are fast, I'll give you that. ``

That was all he said, and even though so little was said, the semi-compliment made you smile with gratitude. Michikatsu side eyed you, looking down at your smaller form since you were distracted by the pond. This gave him a chance to study your physique. You had a smaller build, but he could easily tell that you were strong, after all, Kibutsuji did say you had great potential. You may have been quiet for the most part, but the male knew that you had much more to say than you let on. He truly was perspective. 

`` Tsugikuni-san, why have we stopped at a pond? ``

Your question caught him off guard, so he tore his gaze away from you and went back to the usually stoic and blunt person he is. 

`` To catch our breath, but our break is over. Stay close in pursuit. ``

The training continued again, going on for hours throughout the night with the same cat and mouse game you started with. Leaping from branch to branch at a fast pace staying hot on the pillar's trail. Although, at the end of the day, he has had much more experience than you have, for you struggled to keep up with him this time around.

Michikatsu suddenly stopped on a random branch of a tall tree, his back facing you but his head being turned so he can face you. 

`` This is where we will stop for the night. You started to stagger and slow down 4 trees before. ``

`` No. I can continu- ``

`` As your teacher I order you to stop. ``

You flinched at his sudden command, yet you kneeled down to catch your breath nonetheless. Michikatsu suddenly appeared beside you, the same way he did so when he first pulled off the seemingly difficult trick.

`` That is all, go home, your first night of training is over. ``

                     ◆◇◆◇✧◇◆◇◆

One night turned into two, two turned into thirteen, and thirteen turned into twenty-four. You had been training your physical strength for twenty-four straight nights in a row, refusing to give yourself a break to become the type of tsugoku Michikatsu can be proud of. Despite all your efforts, he still showed little to no sign of a significant reaction that expressed if he was impressed, proud, or disappointed with your abilities.

Tonight, you planned on changing that.

By Kibutsuji himself, you both were assigned to killing a demon who was sighted near a mountain not too far from the headquarters, and you both happily accepted the mission.

So now, here you are, standing beside your teacher at the foot of the mountain where the location was said to have been.

`` Let us deal with this demon quickly so we can return to training. ``

`` Are all we ever going to do is train? `` You spoke up, freely speaking your mind for the first time since you started studying under Michikatsu. This, however, made him turn around in an instant and loom above you, intimidating you fully.

`` Are you complaining? ``

Gulping a thick string of saliva, you shake your head no, which ultimately pleases your teacher. You could have sworn you saw him smirk out of the corner of your eye, but pushing that to the side, you both trek on your adventure up the mountain.

You followed closely behind until you sensed another, foreign presence near you - except it was not just one, it was multiple. You looked up at Michikatsu only to see him completely still, yet his hand gripped onto the handle of his katana. You shifted closer towards him so that you could watch your surroundings from another angle, but before you knew it a demon was now directly in front of you. 

`` [Y/N]! ``

Michikatsu yelled your name, signaling for you to go straight into battle mode. You did so by swinging your katana instantly, only missing its neck by a hair. 

`` There are 5 of them, you take care of 2 and I will do the rest. ``

`` Yes sensei. ``

You followed his plan, following the other two demons who decided to run away in the opposite direction from where you were chasing them, but by jumping and flipping above their head, landing in front of them, you were able to catch the creature off guard and successfully behead it in a timely manner. 

`` Don't think you won just yet girly- ``

Another demon tried to surprise you from behind, but it was too late for it as well, because you already swung your katana and successfully decapitating it as well, leaving it to wither away on the ground just as the other did. 

`` Both down. ``

With your success, you internally celebrated as you ran throughout the forest in search of your teacher, only to hear the swinging of a blade not too far from you. Following that sound, you see that the three demons he followed after ganged up on him and cornered him. You arrived just in time, seeing as how one of them was just about to attack Michikatsu when he was off guard and distracted by the other 2.

`` Breath of moon, first form: dark moon, evening palace. ``

You swung your katana in the direction of the demon's neck, being only able to sever halfway through before it dodged and managed to land an attack onto your teacher's abdomen, ripping his uniform and leaving bloody claw marks on his chest. The male gritted his teeth in slight pain, but not before he got rid of the other 2 demons in one single blow, leaving you truly astonished at his power level.

Although you could not stay distracted for long in view of the fact that the demon you tried to kill now had its attention on you, healing its neck at a visibly slow pace.

`` You got in the way, so now you'll take his place of death! ``

`` I think otherwise!, `` you shouted in return, using the second form of moon breathing, pearl flower moon-gazing that successfully sliced the demon's body into multiple pieces, including his head. It fell onto the ground and started the process of withering. With that, you ran to Michikatsu who covered the scars on his chest with his hand, sheathing his blade into his saya with the other. You kneeled down, ripping off a piece of your uniform and using that to stop the bleeding instead.

`` As a pillar I should deal with this mysel- ``

`` Stop acting all high and mighty. You are clearly injured so just let me help you. ``

Your stern tone made Michikatsu stop instantly, going silent instead and moving his hand out the way so you could tend to his needs. The fabric you ripped off only did so much, so helping the raven haired male stand up slowly, you drape his arm over your shoulder and escort him to your house, which was surprisingly not that far from where your mission just was.

Entering your home, you immediately set Michikatsu onto your futon, grabbing his hand and placing it onto his chest whilst still keeping that serious gaze in your eyes. The whole ordeal left him in utter shock that he was now in your home and in your care. He was never really one to speak his mind, so whenever he had a strong emotion of some sort it always showed on his face.

`` Keep that on your scars while I prepare everything I need to clean them. You're going to have to remove your uniform top for this. ``

Your words left him in even bigger shock, so much so that he was frozen for a good few seconds until he seemingly began slipping his haori off and unbuttoning the shirt of his uniform. He removed it with ease, now being bare enough for you to clean his wounds. Before Michikatsu, you never would have had the courage to speak up to him the way you did, but now with him being injured since you were too insolent to not kill the demon right away, you felt like you had to take responsibility.

Silently, you moved over to the male who sat bare before you, moving his hand out of your way so you could wipe away any blood that seeped anywhere else onto his body and in between the grooves of his abs. Your hand brushed against his skin ever so slightly, causing him to tense up in response.

`` Sorry if I hurt you in advance, `` you said, your voice cutting through the silence. He merely hummed in response, watching you work as he leaned back to get a better view. Michikatsu himself was appalled at how good you were at treating wounds, allowing you to actually do something he would never let anyone else do. But, over the course of your training, he had taken a liking to you. 

`` Have you done this before? ``

Both of your gazes met at a close proximity before you tore yours away in slight embarrassment, continuing the process of cleaning his scars. 

`` I have, yes. Why do you ask? ``

`` You seem to be rather skilled, that's all. ``

You finally finished cleaning his scars, setting down the wet cloth you used to do so, grabbing the bandages you had prepared and began wrapping them around his upper body, covering the scars effectively thus completing your task. Your skin had made contact so much that you were not able to discern when your face slowly began to heat up each time it did, but Michikatsu on the other hand had a pretty good view of your concentrated yet flustered expression.

You shifted to get up from your sitting position, only to feel a hand grab onto your wrist and pull you back down. You turn your head in disbelief, only to see that your noses were inches away from each other at the chain of events.

`` Thank you, [Y/N]. I mean it. ``

`` Well- you're welcome sensei… ``

Your bashful expression could not be hidden this time, and neither could Michikatsu's. The ends of his ears turned a bright red, thus letting you go at the realization of this because he was all too aware of his own emotions.

Hurriedly, you put your cleaning supplies away, moving so fast that you nearly tripped yourself. You could not help how you felt in that moment. Your emotions were all over the place and the only reason was because of him. Deep down you thought that yes he was attractive but his attitude was a bother. Even then, you still suppressed those feelings.

But not tonight.

`` Be careful, you might hurt yourself. There is no rush. ``

`` I apologize.. I am not used to having guests, my teacher being one no less. ``

He then suddenly patted the space beside him, signaling for you to sit down which you followed obediently, planting your hands in your lap and keeping keeping gaze low so as to not make eye contact. 

`` Will you look at me? You seem to be heating up by the passing second. ``

`` It could just be your inagination..- ``

A finger was brought to your chin, tilting it to the side and upwards to examine your face at a better angle, although the tip of your noses brushed against each other at the close proximity. You had to admit, with the moon light shining through your window and the way the luminosity shone on Michikatsu's features, it made him look ten times more attractive than he already did. 

`` Are you falling in love? I have a feeling you are. ``

You were ultimately taken aback by his sudden boldness even though he has mentioned that expressing how he feels just was not his thing. Your eyes widened ever so slightly while his expression stayed the same. Eyes partially lidded, mouth parted as his gaze glanced from your own irises to your lips. Your lips quivered to say something until you moved forward.

`` What if I say yes? What will you do about it. ``

`` Personally, I believe actions speak louder than words so.. ``

Just like that, you felt Michikatsu's lips press against your own yet pull away just as quickly, staring into your eyes once again until this time you moved forward, pressing your softer ones against his. The eagerness you felt in that moment showed with how you kept contact much longer than he previously did, but there were no complaints from neither of you. 

A large hand moved to the small of your back, hesitantly pulling you in closer contact with his bare chest until yours was leaning into his. Pulling away at the close contact, the redness at the end of his ears spread to his cheeks just barely, and this time you visibly saw an expression other than the one he usually sports.

`` So I take that as a yes? ``

`` It was most definitely a yes Michikatsu. ``

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

[babyyweebbitch]

Please stay with me — Remake

Soo I reread the one I did before and I wanted to remake it because it wasn’t as good (heres the first one) I hope I can make this one better 😭😭 Also, grab tissues. I made this TOO sad

TW // death ; blood ; funeral ; severe depression & relapse

summary: Chris Redfield and his wife were on a mission a seven months after Piers’ death. His wife has been Captain of their team ever since that day.

Seven months ago Piers Nivans died in order to save Chris’ life and for the BSAA. Chris was still fucked up after that day and he thinks about it almost every day. He took a break from the BSAA since his wife made him. It wasn’t a very long one though, he missed being at work, he missed his coworkers and he missed her

Chris resigned as Captain and let his wife replace him. It was a very emotional day not not only for her and Chris but for the entire BSAA because they’ve never had a woman as Captain before. She was a good captain probably even better than Chris. Despite her height, weight and basically being the youngest on that team at 28. She was undoubtedly the best captain in years

Her team along with Chris were on a mission. Their mission was to take out the enemy, find three hostages and disable the bombs set in the building “Okay men… we’re gonna be splitting into three teams since there’s a lot of us here. Team A; Corey, John and Andrew. Your job is to find out where the bombs are and disable them as quickly as possible.”

“Yes ma’am!” The three went off to do their job as told

“Team B; Phil, Jean and Mark, you’re in charge of finding and getting the hostages to safety out of this building. You three can split up, stay together I don’t care. As long as your job is done”

“Ma’am” the three left

She turned to Eric and Chris who were standing together “what a coincidence, you two are with me.” She said with a slight smile on her face, walking ahead of the two Eric leaned over to Chris “She’s so cool…” Chris thought of Finn the moment he said that, he couldn’t help but to smile and look at him “I know…”

“Stop standing around we have a mission you know!” She yelled out to the two of them. Chris and Eric quickly made their way to the door the enemies were behind, Chris was silent the entire time before he was quickly checked back into reality with a pat on the shoulder “you okay? We need you fully here for this” his wife said as he looked down at her and nodded “yeah I’m okay…”

Chris, his wife and Eric all prepared as the door was blown open and guns were firing. The three did take cover just in time. After about five minutes of gun fire and fighting it finally stopped, thinking they had all the enemies taken care of they all stood up “good job! We did it — Chris!” Y/N called out as she did catch a glimpse of an enemy that didn’t die somehow standing up and pointing their gun towards Chris.

She quickly ran towards Chris and pushed him out the way, for Chris it’s almost like everything was happening in slow motion. He had to process everything leading up to that moment. He heard a scream of pain when his head finally cleared, looking up to see his wife shot in the sternum and Eric shooting the enemy down

She started to fall and Chris caught her before she hit the floor, his eyes started filling up with tears as he looked at her “baby please… tell me this is a joke!”

She knew she was dying, her body felt so cold from the inside out she, she coughed before reaching into one of her many pokes on her pants “c…Chris… do me a favour okay? Please…. stay safe” she handed him her wedding ring, she never wore it during missions to avoid it getting broken, rusted or something. So she held it in her pocket where it was safe “I… feel so… cold”

Chris looked at the ring then at her “no don’t say that! You’re gonna be fine! You’re gonna be fine! Please stay with me!” He started crying, Eric stood by as Team B; Phil, Jean and Mark came in. They surprisingly finished the bomb quicker than expected “Captain w—“ Mark was starting to talk but he quickly stopped when he realised what was happening

“Guys… take care of him for me…” she struggled to talk. She looked up at Chris to see him crying, she lifted her Hand up to his cheek to wipe his tears one last time “no no… don’t cry hon… I’ll tell my parents you said hi… I love you..” Chris held onto her hand and his heart practically stopped the moment he felt her hand and body go heavy and her head fall back … she was dead now

“No…. Please come back! Please don’t go! Y/N!!!” He held her body close and just sobbed, Eric and team B were tearing up and trying to wipe their tears

It took a while to get Chris to let go of her body and let them put her on a stretcher and on the truck so they can go back. When they finally did everyone on the team was there. It took three guys to pry him off of her This was the first time they’ve ever seen him cry like this

—————————

It’s been almost a month since she’s died, Chris looked horrible. He hasn’t shaved, left the house, he started drinking again and Claire had to clean him up at night since he wasn’t sober enough to even do it himself. The house looked like shit especially the room Chris and his wife shared

It was the day of the funeral and Chris was sitting on the edge of the bed looking at the picture of him and her on their wedding day back in 2007. He somehow managed to even get up that day and not drink. He showered that morning, got dressed in a suit and did his hair. He still didn’t shave though

Claire came in “Chris? You ready?” She asked. She had on a black dress on “I guess so…” Chris responded. He stood up and placed the picture down on the night stand and grabbed the necklace he had with his wife’s ring on it.

Claire fixed his tie and jacket before they left. Chris was always taking care of her when she was younger so now it was time for her to take care of her older brother “good. Let’s go” Claire let him walk in front of her to the car. She drove because one he couldn’t think straight enough to drive and he was completely hung over from drinking too much

After about a 45 minute drive they arrived to where her funeral was being held at. Everyone they knew was there, Leon, their BSAA team, Her family. It was hard for him to see her brother and sister at their older sisters funeral

The ceremony, the viewing and speeches all happened and Chris barely even got through his speech without crying

(Im so so so sorry for this next part)

Chris’ speech: “Y/N was an amazing person, she always took care of everyone, me, her siblings, our team, Claire… everyone. She put everyone before herself no matter who they were. She joined the BSAA not because of herself because of her parents death in Raccoon City. She promised them she would do something in any way to stop what happened in Raccoon from ever happening again. She treated our team like her family and even the rookies as her kids even if they were a few years younger then her. She was an even amazing person and wife. And I miss her dearly.”

There wasn’t a single dry eye in that room when Chris said his speech. After everything, everyone went inside to eat and talk.

Chris sat with Claire and Y/N’s siblings. He just picked at his food and stared at the plate. He was terrifyingly silent before Leon came over “hey Chris… how are you holding up?” Leon asked as he stared at Chris. He could tell how hard this has affected Chris. “I’m fine…”

“Chris… You need to eat. All you’ve done in the past month was drink, workout and cry… You need to at least eat something” Claire said “she wouldn’t want this… Her or Piers wouldn’t want you to be like this. Y/N would be yelling at you if she saw you picking at your food like this. We both know she would”

Chris’ eyes started to water once again before he spoke “I…. I know.. but I just miss her so much, Claire… we were gonna start a family together… she wanted to have kids and get a bigger house so we can have a big family… now I can’t have one because she’s the only person I wanted a family with…” Chris sighed softly as he wiped his eyes

“I miss her too… we all do…” Leon commented looking down at his plate. Chris eventually ended up eating his food and everyone left to go home. The entire drive home was deafening to the point you can hear a pin drop

When he got home he changed inside a fresh pair of clothes and he started to clean the house, starting with the bedroom and ending in the Kitchen. He cleaned it exactly how she’d like it and when he was finished around 3:32 am he sat on the couch and sighed

They were right… She would yell at him if she saw the way he was, how the house was when she died

—————————

After a few years pass it’s before the entire Village situation. Every week since the funeral Chris visited her grave and just talked to her for a bit. On her birthday he spent almost half the day there, on new year’s he watched the fireworks by your gave.

He still hasn’t moved on since her death he can’t even get into another relationship with a woman since her death but it’s not like he can find anyone else like her… and honestly he didn’t want to.

IM SO FUCKING SORRY FOR MAKING THIS EVEN SADDER tbh tho I started tearing up writing this

[professional-benaddict]

Hello.. um I'm not sure if you're still taking prompts and if you'll even write this one if it's way out of your comfort zone.. but could you do one where Tony and Stephen are doctors at a hospital and Peter goes into the ER with bad stomach pains and it turns out to be constipation or something.. if you're not comfortable writing it I understand

hii darling!! here it finally is!! tbh this was a bit tricky to write but i hope you like it :3 💗💗

Doctor Tony, +18 Peter, Doctor Stephen, ER visits, examinations, constipation, pain, miscommunications, relationship problems, making up, fluff

It had started earlier that same week. A sharp stabby pain in his lower abdomen, which left Peter breathless and a little dizzy. However, the boy’s work moral did not allow him to slow down. After all, it’s just pain, right? Everyone gets tummy aches.

Expect the pains continued, and only became more and more frequent as the week went on. Peter couldn’t think of any other symptoms or any possible explanations for his pain. But, on Thursday night, when Peter was unable to fall asleep due to his pains, he called an Uber with a shaky voice.

The Uber driver seemed concerned, but luckily they didn’t bother Peter with too many questions, and just dutifully drove him to the ER. The boy thanked the driver for the ride, and for the well wishes. He had to walk into the ER nearly doubled over. A nurse caught onto Peter’s signs of distress fairly quickly at the reception, and she directed him inside. It still took half an hour before a doctor called Peter’s name in the waiting room.

At first, Peter was relieved that it was finally his turn. The pain was making him breathy and sweaty from straining. Even though he was in the ER, and everyone was either in pain or distress, he still felt too awkward and shy to truly show how much pain he was in. Holding it in only made it worse. And so did seeing Stephen Strange.

“Peter? As in, Tony’s boyfriend Peter?” Stephen asked, looking slightly dumbfounded. “I remember seeing you here now and then. I’m Stephen Strange.”

“Hi…” That was all Peter could muster to say back. He did remember the doctor somewhat. Tony has mentioned him a few times at home, but Peter couldn’t gather his thoughts to say that.

“Okay, you don’t sound too good. Can you stand up? I’ll take a look at you. Does Tony know you’re here?”

“No, no, don’t tell ’im, please…” Peter whimpered, gasping in pain as Stephen helped him up.

“All right, all right. Come on, I’ll help you. It’s just down this hall.”

———

Twenty minutes later, Strange had ordered some pain relief for Peter. In return, Peter let a nurse take some blood for sampling, and peed in a cup as well. Peter’s cheeks burned hot at that last part, but he knew this was the better alternative. He’d rather be embarrassed in front of Strange, than his own doctor boyfriend, Tony.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to get Tony? He’s still here.” Strange asked, and gently guided Peter onto his back to examine his abdomen.

“N-no, don’…”

Peter’s breath hitched sharply at the pain bursting in his stomach as the doctor moved his knees back to lay straight. The young man had to take a few deep breaths to settle before he was ready to be examined.

“Try to relax as much as you can.” Strange said, bringing his gloved hands to Peter’s stomach.

Once Peter had gotten a bed in the ER, he had taken his jeans off to relieve the extra pressure on his stomach, then hidden most of his body under the blanket on the bed. The doctor had good access to his patient’s abdomen, and he pressed his fingers down as much as he could before Peter protested.

“Ah-aH!”

“Sorry, sorry. Breathe for me, you’re okay. Any pain here?”

Peter shook his head. Strange’s hands were just below his ribcage, although Peter could only feel them and not see them. Closing his eyes and focusing on his breathing was all Peter could muster.

“Ah-ow-Jesus…”

“Sorry, I’m done now. You did good, Peter.”

Peter could hear the doctor snapping off his gloves, so he opened his eyes to look.

“So, what’s wrong with me?” Peter asked, his voice tired. Strange looked up from the chart in his hands.

“Based on what you told me earlier about when and how your symptoms started, I think you’re just constipated.”

“Just- just constipated? But, it hurts like hell!”

“Yeah, constipation can hurt a lot. I’m ordering some oral laxatives for you that you can take now and then head home. You can have some painkillers too, to get through the worst of it.”

“So… none of those enemas?”

“No, laxatives can do the trick too. Why? Have you been constipated before?”

“Well…” Peter’s cheeks burn even hotter now than earlier when he had to pee in that cup.

“Peter? It’s best to tell the truth. Trust me, I’ve heard it all and way worse.”

It still took Peter a few moments before he could speak up.

“This has happened before… And Tony- he gave me an enema.” Peter said, his cheeks and ears flaming hot at the revelation. “I- I hated it…”

“I said he was full of shit, just like he is now.”

Peter snapped his head up at that voice and cringed back when he saw his boyfriend, Tony, holding back the curtain around Peter’s bed.

“I-I told you not to tell him!” Peter yelped at Stephen, his voice high-pitched with tears and panic.

“I didn’t-”

“The nurses talk a lot and word travels fast here.” Tony explained before pulling the curtain back again, then came over to Peter. “Why didn’t you call me, babe? I could have helped you quicker.”

“Not with those- those god awful enemas you’re not!” Peter snapped back, curling up on himself, away from Tony.

Stephen and Tony shared a look, and Stephen shrugged his shoulders before leaving the prescription for the laxatives on the little bedside table.

“You can pick them up at the hospital pharmacy. Just follow the signs and you’ll find it. Feel better, Peter.” Stephen said kindly, then exited quietly.

Even when they were left alone, Peter did not face Tony and continued to cry and pout.

“Hey… You okay?”

“No.” Peter sniffled. “I’m full of shit, like you said.” He added, daggers in his tone. Tony laughed lightly and moved to rub at Peter’s shoulder.

“It’s just a joke. But, I’m sorry if it hurt you. I didn’t mean that. Hmm? Baby? Can we go to the pharmacy and then head home? I’ll make you tea and rub your tummy.”

Despite his upset, hearing Tony saying such caring and sweet things with that tone of voice made Peter feel content and looked after. He had been avoiding his boyfriend ever since the pain started, but now he realised how much he missed this. Being looked after and taken care of. Peter sniffled again and nodded slowly.

“There you go. I got you, baby, don’t worry.”

“Promise me, no more enemas.”

“Promise, babe. I promise.”

[quokkacore]

with great power I [lee jeno]

summary: there are two things jeno loves most about his life. one being spiderman, the other being you, his best friend. there’s just one issue: after your father’s death, you decide you hate both spiderman and yourself.

pairing: lee jeno x reader

genre: superhero au, high school au, coming of age, best friends to strangers(ish) to lovers, fluff, ANGST, minor crack

warnings (for this chapter): language, violence, gun violence, the mafia, parental death, police presence, sexual references, bullying (ily san im sorry), the dreamies being dicks to each other, police corruption, towards the end jeno experiences something similar to sensory overload, americanized names, pop culture references, VERY jeno centric

song rec: we go up - nct dream // any song - zico // 21 questions - waterparks // talk (remix feat. megan thee stallion & yo gotti) - khalid // sunrise - ateez // i really like you - carly rae jepsen // dare - gorillaz // stray kids - the tortoise and the hare

word count: 10.5k

a/n: this is so late...... i blame attack on titan. but hey!! better late than never :] a huge thanks to @doderyscoffee​ for beta reading <3

main masterlist // story masterlist

chapter one: jeno and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week

Jeno despised Tuesdays. He was pretty sure that Tuesdays despised Jeno as well because all of his worst days just so happen to be Tuesdays. He was 96% sure that, if there was a god, his day off was on Tuesdays, or that the planets aligned in such a manner on Tuesdays that it caused universal despair and misery. If he was to take Donghyuck's word for it, his chakra attracted negative energy the most on Tuesdays.

When Jeno was 5, his goldfish Pippin had died on a Tuesday. When he had his ass handed to him on the playground by San Choi in the third grade, it was a Tuesday. And in the seventh grade, he'd failed his Spanish test, missed his bus and walked home in the rain only to find out that his Aunt Sunny was at work, he'd left his keys in his locker and that had to wait an hour before she got home to unlock it for him, all on a Tuesday. 

And wouldn't you know it, here he was, late for the first day of senior year, which was, of all days, a godforsaken Tuesday.

In his eternal wisdom, he'd stayed up gaming with Renjun until two in the morning, and because of it, slept through his three alarms, one set at six-thirty, the other at 6:45, the last one at 7:00. 

He'd woken up at 7:17, to the sound of his elderly neighbor's pet chihuahua barking at a pigeon, checked the time, immediately panicked, sped into the shower, gotten dressed in a haste, grabbed a few granola bars from the pantry, and ran out the door while trying to jam his backpack closed, and managed to catch the train at 7:40, which took about twenty minutes to get to his stop, plus a ten-minute walk to school, and class started at 8:10. Not to mention he’d have to stop by the office and pick up his schedule. At best, he’d be five minutes late to his first class. But tardies were tardies, regardless, and the last thing he needed was to lose his perfect attendance streak. 

He fished out his phone while standing on the train, waiting for his stop, scrolling through Instagram, and liking random pictures. A ping! from his phone caught his attention, then two, then a third. He smiled softly when your name popped up on his screen.

[7:48 AM]

y/n: pssst

y/n: shithead

y/n: where r u ????

[7:49 AM] 

y/n: i can sEE u online on ig u know

jeno: …… i'm on the train

jeno: woke up late

y/n: YOURE GONNA BE LATR

y/n: LATE*

y/n: ON THE FIRST DAY OF SENIOR YEAR

[7:50]

jeno: probably, yeah

jeno: it's the school district's fault, why would they make the first day of school on a fkn TUESDAY 

y/n: ohhh yeahh its terrible tuesday

y/n: [sent an attachment!]

[7:51 AM]

jeno: SHUT UP

jeno: you're not funny >:(

jeno: how dare you laugh at my misfortune

y/n: au contraire im hilarious

jeno: meanie :(

jeno: im gonna be late i hate it here

jeno: it'll end up on my permanent record and i'm not gonna get into college and then i'm gonna die,,,

[7:52 AM] 

y/n: sometimes ur worse than hyuck i swear 

y/n: FIRST OF ALL permanent records dont even exist !!!!!! its propaganda duh

y/n: also ur literally never late 

y/n: im sure o n e tardy wont do anything chill

y/n: dont be stupid youll be fine

Don’t be stupid. Too little, too late, he thought, already having got off the train at a previous stop. Now, he was looking for an unoccupied street or alleyway, which, for once, was easy, taking a deep breath before he did the exact opposite of what you’d told him not to do. Don’t be stupid. 

The buildings are low, he thought to himself, it’ll be easier to see me. 

Don’t be stupid.

Too late!

Thwip!

Jeno didn’t hesitate to use the web fluid to pull himself up onto the wall, climbing in a haste, before running and jumping onto the next building. He quickly built up a quick pace, using the web fluid occasionally to swing onto a building slightly out of jumping range. 

Signs in English, Chinese, Korean, and Spanish flew past him as he seemingly flew over the Queens traffic, leaving Flushing behind and crossing quickly into College Point quicker than he would if he took the train. He glanced to his left and caught a view of the bay, and far across it, the LaGuardia airport watchtower.

Jeno had lived in New York City his entire life. He knew Queens like the back of his hand, knew every dingy alleyway, every sketchy street, which restaurants to avoid if you didn’t want to get food poisoning, which convenience store aunties were the nicest and didn’t pinch his cheeks too hard. It was his home, and most likely would be for the rest of his life. 

But seeing it like this, flying past him below as he glided with ease from building to building would never cease to be a sight to him. It was like watching from the perspective of an outsider, seeing people in their cars, walking along the street gave him a brand new perspective. A Jeno’s eye view, he called it, since he was pretty sure he was the only one in New York City.

Another noise from his phone brought him back to reality. He shook his head, stopping briefly to catch his breath and fish out his phone briefly. 

[7:57 AM] 

y/n: let me know when u get here !!!

No time to respond, he put away the phone and continued his trek to school. He had less than ten minutes to get there. But he knew he was already at least five minutes away, much quicker than he would be if he had decided to stick to the train. He smiled a bit to himself, feeling ever so slightly smug.

The hustle and bustle of the city definitely proved challenging to find a place to land without many eyes, but he figured it out eventually, landing behind a dumpster in an alleyway behind a restaurant that he knew was about three or four blocks from the school. He figured it would be a lot better to take it on foot from here. The notebooks he was carrying in his backpack bounced up and down with every step he took. 

After what seemed like forever, the gates to the school appeared in his view, and Jeno felt a joy in his heaving chest, something he would have never thought would happen upon seeing the absolute hellhole that was Samuel Morse High School. 

[8:06 AM]

jeno: just did >:D

Picking up his schedule was both quick and insanely long. He couldn’t stop himself from tapping his left foot while the secretary found his schedule and handed it to him. “Kibum, please hurry,” He muttered, and Kibum raised an eyebrow at him, but his gaze was teasing. “That’s Mr. Kim to you, in school at least.” 

He handed Jeno his schedule a few seconds later. “Tell your Aunt to come pick up her casserole dish, by the way. She left it at my house after my last viewing party.”

“The Bachelor?”

“Please. We’re too classy for that. Drag Race.”

“Ah. I see.”

“Jeno,” Kibum said, staring up at him from his desk, his gaze now much more serious, “Get to class. Happy first day of senior year.”

“Thanks, Mr. Kim.”

He managed to make it to chemistry class at 8:09 with seconds to spare. His eyes quickly scanned the room upon entering, hoping his friends were in the class with him. He caught a few familiar faces, most of which, like San Choi's, he wished to avoid. No one paid him any mind. Everyone was still speaking to the people next to them, no doubt exchanging stories of summer vacation. 

  A hand shot up towards the back, waving at him. A smile stretched across his face as he registered your face, feet not hesitating to carry him towards the empty seat next to you. His heart skipped a beat at seeing your smile, and he tried his best to ignore it.

“Hey,” You greeted, “That was fast. I thought you said you were gonna be late.”

Jeno shrugged, eyes landing on the dark shade of the lab table. “The train was a lot faster than I expected, apparently.”

You wrinkled your nose. “Why do you smell so bad?”

“I, uh… ran a little.” 

You grimaced, and Jeno tried to casually sniff at his slightly sweaty clothes. It’s not that bad. “I still don’t understand why you won’t let me drive you to school. You’re literally next door.”

“I don’t know,” He answered, rolling his eyes, “Maybe it’s because when it comes to that truck, you are absolutely insane. You won’t even let me drink water in that thing.”

The truck in question, a faded red 1998 Chevrolet S-10, had been your gift to yourself for your 17th birthday. You’d spent two summers saving up to buy yourself a truck, and that was what you were able to get for what you had. To say it was a huge piece of junk on wheels was an understatement. 

The thing smelled like mothballs no matter how many air fresheners you bought it, the engine sounded like an old man having a coughing fit, and there was a very suspicious stain in the backseat that wouldn’t go away no matter how many times you scrubbed it. But for some reason, you treated it like it was your own baby. The amount of times you’d yelled at Jaemin for trying to put his feet on the dashboard was too high to count.

You mirrored his movement, eyes rolling as you sighed. “At least let me drive you home after school today. Maybe you can stay and we can finally watch Blade Runner.”

You’d been trying to get him to watch the film for almost a month now, begging and pleading because you insisted that he’d love it. He offered an awkward stare, before opening his backpack and pulling out a notebook. “Can’t,” He mumbled, “I’m headed into Manhattan. I have my internship afterwards.”

“Oh, yeah,” You said nonchalantly, eyebrows shooting up as you remembered, “Park Industries.” 

He was about to reply when Mrs. Baker, the chemistry teacher, finally entered. She’d been working at SMHS for 30 years and had never, apparently, been nice, if his Aunt Sunny’s stories were anything to go by. However, she had apparently always spoken as if she smoked two packs a day. She was rambling about the importance of making the most of senior year academically, adult responsibilities, college, and whatnot. You and Jeno exchanged glances often throughout the monologue, hoping it would end soon. 

“Enough of that,” She said after what seemed like an eternity, “Everyone quiet down, I’m going to call roll.”

Names were quickly called, and Jeno was ready to pull out a pencil and start working with you until Mrs Baker demanded a switch in seats, beginning to call on random names in an effort to deter everyone from speaking. 

"Please not with Choi, please not with Choi," Jeno muttered under his breath, glancing warily at San, who was staring ahead, looking bored. 

San had had it out for Jeno ever since day one, in first grade. For some reason, everything Jeno did seemed to annoy the other boy. He wasn't funny enough, or too nerdy, or too quiet. Jeno was always too much or too little for him. 

You touched his forearm, and he looked towards you. 

“You’ll be fine,” You said softly, trying not to alert the teacher, “You’re not gonna get paired up with him, and you can take it to the office if you need to.” “Yeah, because I’m sure Coach Peralta would be thrilled if someone tried to get his precious midfielder in trouble.”

“Choi, San,” Mrs Baker’s voice rang throughout the room, and Jeno braced himself for the worst, eyebrows furrowing with worry. 

“You’ll be sitting with… L/N, Y/N.” 

Jeno’s shoulders slumped, but your face remained impassive. You picked up your stuff, and pouted silently at Jeno in apology, before making your way to the front. 

“Lee, Jeno,” Mrs Baker called a few minutes later, “You’ll be sitting with Jang, Yeeun.”

He breathed out a sigh of relief. Yeeun is nice, Jeno thought to himself, I could sit with Yeeun. She wasn’t part of his main friend group, but he had tutored her in math during sophomore year in exchange for her helping him with Spanish, and they’d been pretty friendly ever since. 

“Hey,” Yeeun greeted as Jeno sat down, and Jeno smiled at her. 

“Remember, these will be your assigned lab partners for the rest of the semester. No changes, no exceptions.” Mrs. Baker sat down at her desk, before beginning to talk about something Jeno didn’t really pay attention to.

You exchanged glances with Jeno, and he gave you a look of sympathy as you gestured at San with your eyes. San was talking to you about something—probably bragging about some soccer achievement—but you weren’t paying him much attention. Jeno swallowed something growing in his throat as he looked at how your hair looked today. 

It was nothing relatively new, the same hairstyle you used on most days. But still, there was a bit of a shine to it. He wondered vaguely if you had changed your shampoo, the other day you’d been complaining about how itchy your normal shampoo made your scalp—

“You still haven’t told her about how you feel?” Yeeun asked quietly, and Jeno’s head snapped back to look at her, eyes wide.

“W-what? Me. Like Y/N…” He laughed nervously, trying to keep his voice down. He scratched the back of his head, avoiding Yeeun’s accusatory stare. “You’re hilarious, Yeeun. Tell another one.”

Yeeun shook her head. “You’d better hurry before someone else snatches her up, Jen. She’s not gonna wait around for you forever.”

 “I don’t like her, Yeeun.” 

“Keep telling yourself that.”

“Hey! Jeno Lee!”

“Hey! Jaemin Na! What do you want!” Jeno answered as he sat down, mimicking Jaemin’s tone next to him.

“Well, for starters, a million dollars, and second, a date with Yiren Wang, but I doubt you can help me with either of those, so...”

Jeno glanced at the rest of the table. Along with Jaemin, Mark,  Renjun, Donghyuck, and you were watching the interaction between the pair. “Where are the munchkins?” Jeno asked, noticing Chenle and Jisung’s absence. No one could really call them munchkins anymore. That nickname dated back to middle school, before the two underclassmen had gone through growth spurts.

“Eh, they should be here soon,” Renjun said, chewing on a french fry, “How’s your day been?”

“Pretty good so far, I guess. I got AP Calc with Mr. Washington later, though. That man wants me dead.”

You rolled your eyes. “He doesn’t want you dead. I’m telling you, you and Hyuck have been spending way too much time together. You’re being more dramatic than usual and Hyuck’s being more… weird than usual.”

“And just what is so weird about being enthusiastic about senior year, Y/N?” Donghyuck asked, shaking his head, “It’s our last year in this hellhole, I’m excited that we’re finally getting out of here. And besides—”

“Please don’t bring up the fact that you’re abandoning us next year.” Chenle seemingly appeared out of nowhere, sitting next to Renjun, Jisung following quickly behind him.

“Hi, Sungie,” You said with a smile, and Jisung smiled back. “Hi, Y/N.”

“What were you saying, Hyuck?” Jaemin looked at Donghyuck, who had taken the quick interaction as an opportunity to take a bite of his sandwich. His wide eyes darted to the slim boy, cheeks stuffed with chicken. 

“Oh,” He replied after swallowing, “This is gonna be my year. I’m getting male lead for the winter musical and no one is gonna stop me.”

“Do you even know what musical you guys are doing yet?” Mark asked, “What if it’s like… Shrek?”

Jisung made a face. “There’s a Shrek musical?”

Mark nodded, and Renjun laughed.

“I don’t know about male lead, if it’s Shrek. You should try out for Donkey,” The Chinese boy joked, “With those front teeth, you’re a shoo-in.”

The entire table was silent for a moment, before snorts and chortles started pouring out from everyone except Donghyuck.

“Fuck you, Huang.” 

Renjun flashed the friendliest smile he could muster. “Not if you paid me a million dollars.”

The subject remained on extracurriculars, everyone in your group except for Chenle and Jisung now wary of college applications. Donghyuck had been in theater ever since middle school, Renjun was in the robotics club and the debate team with Jaemin, who was also in the student council. Mark was on the math team with Jeno, and you had founded the film club. 

"You're not gonna believe who asked to sign up for film," You huffed, looking kind of confused. The rest of the table looked at you expectantly, and you pursed your lips, almost as if you were trying not to laugh.

"San Choi."

Renjun scoffed. Jaemin raised his eyebrows before letting out a single, humorless laugh. Jeno made a face, poking his plastic fork at you. 

"What is San Choi doing asking to sign up for film?"

"Fuck if I know. He said he needed one more extracurricular if he wanted to get into some college in Florida and he liked going to the movies, so he wanted to try out film."

Mark rolled his eyes. "I swear there's nothing in that guy's head but hot gas. It blows my mind."

"He's a dick," Chenle grumbled, "I'm still not over how he and Wooyoung taped Jisung to the flagpole last year."

Jisung scowled. "I thought we agreed to never bring that up again."

“Do you think they’ll finally calm the fuck down this year?” Jaemin wondered, looking wistful.

You took a sip of your coke and shook your head. “Doubt it. They’re not the hateful eight for a reason.”

The mood at the table turned tense, until Jaemin frowned at his french fries, before sighing and clapping his hands together dramatically. “I would like to hear,” He mused, “About the nuance that theatre gives the cinematic masterpiece that is Shrek when converted into musical form.”

Donghyuck beamed. “Oh, it’s amazing. You see…”

If it was difficult to get Donghyuck to stop talking in general, it was impossible when it was about theater.

The conversation continued on until the bell rang, and the eight of you had to go your separate ways. Jaemin and Jeno had the same class, so they both walked together down a relatively calm hallway. Jaemin looked both ways, before finally lowering his voice. 

“So, you’re going to see Mr. Park today?”

Jeno nodded, looking down at his shoes. “He said he wanted to give me an assignment. Says there’s something big going on.”

Jaemin’s eyes lit up with curiosity. “Did he say what kind of something?” 

Jeno shook his head, pouting slightly. “I’ll let you know tomorrow.” 

Once school was out, Jeno was getting ready to get onto the subway once again, this time heading towards Midtown. It was only day one and, as Jeno had predicted, Mr. Washington probably was out to get him, because he’d swamped the class with homework.

As he left the school, he spotted you in the parking lot, leaning against your car door, texting someone. He glanced at his phone. He still had plenty of time, he figured. He walked over to you, and when you looked up, you smiled. 

“Hey!” Your voice had that signature tone of enthusiasm to it, and Jeno smiled back immediately. 

“Hello,” He sing-songed. “So, I was thinking… are you free on Friday night?”

You looked somewhere above his head, furrowing your eyebrows before you perked up again and nodded. “Yep! Why?”

“I’m free after nine. Maybe then I could come over to your house? So I can finally get you to stop harassing me about Blade Runner.”

You grinned, pumping your fists enthusiastically. “Hell yes,” You answered, “Do you want me to get like, some frozen pizzas or something?” 

“Pizza sounds good,” He said. “Who are you even waiting for?” 

You made a face that made it seem as if you’d just gotten a whiff of rotten milk. “Well—”

Your response was interrupted when the school doors slammed open, and eight figures poured out, carrying themselves with confidence Jeno both envied and despised. He frowned, trying not to react at their loud whooping and laughing. The Hateful Eight.

“Oh.” Jeno averted his gaze, meeting your eyes again.

“Yeah. If you don’t hear from me later it’s because I jumped out of my truck because I don’t wanna work with—”

“Well, hello, gorgeous!” San’s voice filled the parking lot, and Jeno took a deep breath. Your mouth stretched into a tight-lipped smile at the unwanted ‘compliment’. 

“Hey, San.” Your friendly passive aggressive tone almost made Jeno smile. “I’ve been waiting here for like, fifteen minutes. You could have just given me your number and asked me to send you pictures of my notes, you know.”

He shrugged, turning his body so that his back was turned to Jeno. “Sorry, babe. Coach wanted to talk to us about the upcoming season. When he gets going, it’s hard to get him to stop. And besides, where’s the fun in just asking for pictures when I could come here, talk to you, and take the pictures myself?”

You didn’t respond, but rather pulled out your backpack and began digging through it. When you pulled out your notebook, you handed it to San, who flashed a wink at you. You barely held back a gag. 

“Thanks, Y/N. I’ll just be a minute.” 

He walked over to the hood of your truck, and just as you were about to continue your conversation, two figures slung their arms around both of Jeno’s shoulders, causing him to flinch. 

Out of the fifteen soccer players on the team, San and his best friends—seven of them, to be precise—were the worst. The others were pretty nice. But right now, seeing two of those seven surround your best friend made you uneasy. 

Wooyoung was loud. He was also a temperamental brat. His dad owned three used car dealerships over in Brooklyn, so naturally, he thought he owned the entire world. He wasn’t someone who would get too physical in fights, like San, or Jongho, or Yeosang. But when he was angry, he could easily get you to jump into the stratosphere by yelling at you once. Over the years, he’d made several teaching assistants and substitute teachers cry, only getting let off with a slap on the wrist every time. 

 Yunho was terrifying for completely different reasons. He was friendly, but a little too friendly to the people he wanted to control. He could read people like books and could easily manipulate whoever he wanted. But he wasn’t afraid of getting physical either, especially not when he was built like a goddamn Power Rangers Megazord. 

All in all, they definitely weren't anyone you wanted near you, near your friends. Especially considering how much they had it out for your friends. 

"Hey, buddy," Yunho said, looking down at Jeno with a wide smile. "How was summer vacation?"

Jeno gnawed on the side of his cheek as he considered his answer. "Um, it was okay." He looked at you to catch your eyes darting between San, Yunho and Wooyoung, like you were analyzing the situation. "I kinda stayed in and played video games most of the t—"

"Cool, cool," Yunho answered, carding his free hand through his bleach blond hair. "What about you, Woo?"

"Oh, dude, it was so cool," He bragged, "I went to Brazil for like, a month. I went clubbing with Instagram models and shit, it was wild."

You stared at him as he patted Jeno on the back rather aggressively. "Where did you go? Have you ever even left New York?" 

You knew the answer. Only a few times when the debate team went to compete in different states. Jeno spoke up again. "Well, yeah a few t—"

"Doubt it," Yunho scoffed. He craned his head back. "San, you done yet?"

"Almost!" San answered. Yunho turned to face you, and for some reason his smile seemed genuinely kind. “What about you, Y/N?”

You never understood why it was that the soccer team hated your entire friend group, but seemed to tolerate you. It made no sense.

So you shrugged. “Not a lot, I guess. Did my summer reading. Hung out with my friends.” You flashed a reassuring smile at Jeno. “Right, Jen?”

Immediately, he relaxed a little bit. “Yeah.”

San appeared from behind Yunho, Jeno and Wooyoung. “Thanks, Y/N. I owe you one.”

You waved your hand, wanting them to get rid of them quickly. “Don’t mention it. But next time, just text me for my notes. I have to get to work, so…”

“Oh! My bad,” He answered with fake remorse, before unlocking his phone and handing it over to you. “Here. For next time.”

You stifled a deep sigh, punching in the numbers hesitantly. “Just for homework, got it?”

San took his phone back, holding a hand over his heart and raised his head. “On a gentleman's honor,” He declared, and you bit back a laugh. Jeno looked like he was going to hurl.

“San!” The team captain—Hongjoong—called from a few feet away, “Are you guys done yet or what?”

“Coming!” San yelled back.

“Alright, we’ll let you go,” Wooyoung said, patting Jeno on the back again, a bit too harsh for comfort. “Bye, Y/N! See you around.”

 The three of them stalked off, leaving you and a very frazzled Jeno. “Dicks,” You muttered once they were out of earshot. “You good?”

Jeno shook his head, waving his hand dismissively. “I’ll be fine.”

You tilted your head, frowning. “Jeno—”

“I gotta go,” He said quickly. “I’ll see you later?”

You nodded, offering a lopsided smile. “Yeah. Be careful!” 

Jeno offered a deep bow, fluttering his eyelashes. “On a gentleman’s honor,” He sighed, adding a very bad British accent to it. You burst out laughing, eyes squeezing shut.

You didn’t catch the way Jeno’s shoulders relaxed at the sound.

I want you to know now

Baby, it could go down

I don’t wanna talk about it

Baby, let’s just go now

The train ride into Midtown didn’t take too long. He spent it digging through his backpack for his Park Industries lanyard, listening to music and thinking about you.

When you talk right to me 

You gon’ have to do me

Every time you think you’re leaving 

You running back to me

You’d met Jeno when you were six. Truth be told, he didn’t really remember. For him it was like you weren’t there at one point and by the time you were, you were thicker than thieves. It was a difficult time for him. He had just lost both of his parents, and was moving in with his Aunt Sunny and his Uncle Jinki, who were barely out of college at the time. He’d had to move to a new school and basically restart his entire life. You were the first sense of stability in his life for months. 

Your mom lived next to his aunt and uncle. So naturally, you went to the same school and went on the same bus. And somewhere along the way, you two clicked. You’d introduced him to Renjun, Jaemin and Donghyuck. You were there to comfort him whenever he got pushed off the slide by San or Wooyoung. 

He was there for you when your stepdad and stepbrother moved in when you were nine and you weren’t sure how to deal with it. He was there when your mom died when you were thirteen. He’d introduced you and your friends to Mark, Chenle and Jisung. 

And you were there when his Uncle Jinki got killed when he was fifteen. And because fate had an especially cruel sense of irony, it had happened on a Tuesday. You didn’t know, but at the time, he had just gotten his powers. Your comfort and words unknowingly had a secondary effect: he made the decision to use them for good, and… well. The rest was history. 

Can we just talk? Can we just talk?

Talk about where we're goin'

Before we get lost, lend me your thoughts

Can't get what we want without knowin'

Just like when he met you, he didn’t recall an exact moment where he realized he’d fallen in love with you. He knew there was a world where he loved you, but wasn’t in love with you. And he knew that there was a world here he’d fallen in love with you—he was living in that world now. He realized he was living in that world maybe when he was sixteen, and had been stuck in it ever since. 

You were it for him. He’d had crushes before. But never something like this, where he was so aware of your presence around him. It wasn’t the way he was hyper aware of someone like San, or like Yunho or Jongho. It wasn’t out of anxiety or fear, where a shift in mood activated his fight or flight. He was aware of you in a way that only people who truly know each other do, where he could pick up on subtle changes in your behavior, but not out of fear. Rather, out of a desire to take care of you and to not have you worry about anything. 

I've never felt like this before

I apologize if I'm movin' too far

Can we just talk? Can we just talk?

Figure out where we're goin'...

As the train rolled into the station that was a fifteen minute walk from Park Tower, Jeno put away his headphones and took a deep breath.

The “Jeno Tingle” as his Aunt Sunny called it—Jeno hated the term—had taken him a few years to gain control of. And while he could never truly turn it off, he could at least tune it out enough to be more at ease. The only time he did so was at school or when he was studying, just because he wanted to feel normal, and because being aware of everything going on around him really messed with his concentration. 

Jaemin didn’t understand. “If I was able to tell whenever Seonghwa was behind me because he wanted to scare me into doing his chemistry homework, I’d never turn that shit off,” He’d said once. But truthfully, Jeno didn’t really care. Because while yes, he was still slightly scared of the “hateful eight”, he knew damn well that if things got to be too much, he could kick their asses if he wanted to. 

It was his friends he worried about. He couldn’t be around them 24/7. You, not so much. He knew you knew how to fight. Even worse, he knew that San had the hots for you so you were off limits to the rest of them, be it bullying or flirting. But for everyone else… Well. He couldn’t hover over them like some guardian angel. 

Now that the “Jeno Tingle” was on, it allowed him to sense everyone within a certain range around him. He could zero in on certain sounds with ease, and his reflexes became heightened. Halfway on his walk up Park Avenue, he jumped away from a chihuahua on its leash a second before it started barking at him.

When he entered the first floor lobby of the Park Building, he scoured the crowd of employees and visitors until he landed on one familiar face. 

He'd met Doyoung about a year after his dad started dating your mom. Things between your parents were starting to get serious, and Doyoung was four years older than you were. When they moved into your house, Doyoung as your new stepbrother became the de facto chaperone and babysitter. If you wanted to go to the mall with Jeno, he had to take you. Every time you dragged Jeno to the movies, Doyoung had to go also. 

To an extent, it wasn't that bad. Doyoung was cool, and he was smart—he was the one who got Jeno interested in computers and chemistry. He graduated high school at 16, and finished his bachelor's degree at 19. He'd also interned at Park Industries, and secured a job there almost immediately after college. 

To an extent, he was the whole reason Mr. Park knew who he was, because of one incident. It was relatively soon after he started the whole vigilante thing. Jeno, still figuring out how to maneuver on the webs that shot out of his wrists, had accidentally crashed into your backyard late at night, when only Doyoung was awake. He was standing in the back door while he was waiting for his dog to finish peeing. 

Initially, the older boy had freaked out, thinking that it was a burglar or something. When he yelled out that his dad was a cop and was asleep in the house, Jeno panicked, and pulled off his mask, holding up his hands.

“Woah, woahwoahwoah! Doyoung! It’s me, it’s me!” 

Doyoung’s eyes had widened to the size of saucers, paying no mind to the dog as it sauntered up to Jeno, before turning onto its back in a request for belly rubs.

"You're the spider guy everyone's been talking about!?"

"Spider man," Jeno had answered, voice cracking as he dusted himself off. He cringed at the sound of his voice. "...and yes."

Of course, his cover was blown, and he'd begged Doyoung not to tell anyone, especially not you. And while Doyoung had promised not to tell you, it didn't stop him from telling his boss. 

That had been almost three years ago now. The rest was history, and after that Jeno didn’t have to run around in bright red sweatpants and dollar store swimming goggles. Now, he had a nanotech suit that allowed him to activate protocols of the suit through voice commands using something top-secret Mr. Park called D.R.E.A.M technology. Direct Response Engaged As Machine—yeah, Jeno didn’t get it either. 

Doyoung offered Jeno a smile as he escorted Jeno past security, showing them his employee clearance pass. "Hey. How have you been?"

Jeno shrugged, recounting his day in minor detail as he was led into an elevator labeled authorized personnel only. 

This elevator only went up to the 35th floor, seeing as everything past that was only cleared for a certain list of people approved by Mr. Park and his security team, and everything past the 90th floor were Mr. Park's private living quarters. 

Now, as Doyoung led him to another elevator to head up to the 85th floor, which was always where Jeno got to meet with Mr. Park—which wasn't often, maybe once or twice a year—he wondered where he would be if he hadn’t surprised Doyoung that night. He would probably still be using those ugly red sweatpants as part of his disguise.

"How's Y/N?" Doyoung asked. 

"Oh, she seems okay. That guy who hates me keeps coming onto her though. He's a huge douchebag."

Doyoung frowned. "He's not harassing her, is he? Because if he is—"

"He just won't stop flirting, even though she clearly isn't interested," Jeno said bitterly, "He isn't physical or anything. Trust me, it wouldn't end well for him if he was."

Doyoung wasn't quite sure how to respond to the younger boy's dark tone. He looked down, clearing his throat awkwardly.

“So… how’s the apartment?” Jeno asked. Doyoung perked up instantly.

“Oh, now that Taeyong’s moved in and did his interior design thing, it looks great. He’s really done a great job at it.”

“When am I gonna meet this guy? He sounds cool.”

“He’s really cool,” Doyoung hummed, cheeks heating up. “Things are getting really serious.”

Jeno smiled at how flustered Doyoung, who was normally so level headed and calm, became at the mention of his boyfriend.

“You guys sound like a really good couple,” He said. Doyoung chuckled, waving his hand. “Oh, well—” 

 The elevator dinged, and Doyoung sighed. “I’ll tell you later. C’mon.”

The hallway it opened up to was lined with pictures of the company's history, starting from pictures of black and white of people in vintage clothing, to pictures in sepia tones to finally pictures of the current CEO at locations around the world: Chanyeol Park.

Jeno walked behind Doyoung as he led him down the hallway, before stopping in front of a door, and a friendly looking man in a suit. 

Junmyeon was a part of Chanyeol’s Security and Intelligence team, and often sat in on these meetings with Jeno. The chain of contact also included him. If Jeno couldn’t contact Doyoung (which rarely happened), he’d contact Junmyeon. And if he couldn’t contact either of them, or it was an emergency, only then could he contact Chanyeol. So far, that had only happened once.

"Hey, Junmyeon," Doyoung said, "Mr. Park's 4:30 is here." 

Junmyeon nodded, before smiling at Jeno and giving him a wave. "Hey, kid."

Jeno offered an awkward grin. "Hi, Mr. Kim."

Junmyeon rolled his eyes sarcastically. "Kid, you're making me feel ancient. I've told you a million times, just call me Junmyeon."

Jeno shuffled awkwardly, before nodding at the older man, watching as he pressed a button on his earpiece. "Hey, Yeol. Jeno's here."

The muffled response was barely heard, but Jeno automatically understood what Mr. Park said. Junmyeon turned to open the door, and let the pair inside. The “office”—if it could even be called that—opened up to more of a lounge, than anything. A wall of glass overlooked the Manhattan skyline, but Jeno knew that from the outside it looked only like a wall, due to camouflage technology developed by Mr. Park himself. As Doyoung and Junmyeon stayed back, closer to the door, Jeno took a few steps toward the man in question.

Chanyeol was standing a few feet in front of the glass window, working on a holographic model of a new piece of tech. His face was turned downward in a concentrated frown. He barely spared the teenager a glance as he said fondly, “Hey, kid.”

Jeno was used to this. Chanyeol wasn’t cold per se, but he wasn’t warm at all. He knew that Chanyeol cared about him, even if he didn’t really show it in a conventional way. Chanyeol was a very… eccentric man, so he had his own way of saying and doing things. 

“Hi, Mr. Park. Um… you wanted to talk to me?”

“Yep! Needed some help from the friendly neighborhood Spiderman… A little birdie told me about something going on in Queens.”

“Queens?” Jeno asked, gripping the straps of his backpack. “You mean, other than the usual stuff?”

“Other than the usual stuff,” Chanyeol repeated, nodding. With a wave of his hand, the hologram disappeared, and another one appeared in its place. This time, instead of a 3D model, a few pictures and another, smaller 3D model appeared. Chanyeol turned to face him, frown deepening. He pointed at the model—a long, shiny oval-shaped purple stone. It reminded Jeno of an amethyst, but instead of turning white at the base, it turned to an iridescent jade tone. “You know what this is, right?”

Jeno nodded, remembering seeing the rocks all over the news when he was a kid. “That’s… that’s a Chitauri stone. From the invasion a few years back.”

Chanyeol nodded, standing up straight. “These stones have the potential to power weapons with no need to recharge, or change them out. They’re an infinite, extremely strong power source, Jeno, and in the wrong hands can be very dangerous.”

Jeno took a deep breath, feeling his stomach sink slowly. Chanyeol sighed. “Cleanup of the city after the invasion was long, and difficult, and obviously the government and the company weren’t able to get everything. It caused a black market to pop up. Now, the NYPD has been investigating it for years, but they have their limits… that’s where you come in.”

“M-me, Mr. Park?”

Chanyeol gave him a crooked, reassuring smile. He pointed at one of the pictures, which was of a man who most likely didn’t know he was photographed. He was walking somewhere, face looking angry and stern.

“You don’t know who this is, right?”

Jeno shook his head, and Chanyeol turned his head to nod at Junmyeon. “You’re up, tough guy.”

Junmyeon huffed, before walking up to Jeno. He put his hand on Jeno’s shoulder as if he could tell that he was growing anxious. 

“Jeno, that’s Henry Duke. From what we understand on the intel team, he’s one of the cornerstones of the alien tech black market. He’s one of the top dogs. From what we understand, he likes to be present for all major negotiations that his group makes. A source of ours told us that there’s going to be a negotiation on Friday night not too far away from LaGuardia. We want you to go out there and just get a feel of what’s going on.”

“Just watch them, right?” Jeno looked at Junmyeon, who patted his back reassuringly. “Just watch. Don’t engage unless you absolutely have to.”

“You can do that, right?” Chanyeol said quietly, crossing his arms. “Because if not, then it’s totally—”

“Yeah, of course I can! Friday—shit, Friday. At what time are they supposed to be meeting up?”

Junmyeon furrowed his eyebrows, before answering, “Around eight or nine.”

Jeno bit his lip, thinking about the promise he’d made to you. It would just have to wait, he supposed. Chanyeol rarely asked anything this big of him.

“Alright,” Jeno agreed, “I’ll do it.”

Chanyeol grinned, clapping his hands together. 

“Perfect.” 

They discussed logistics briefly after. Doyoung would be on call with Jeno, his custom made suit allowing them to communicate, letting Doyoung see everything Jeno was seeing via a video feed coming from the ultra thin lenses placed in the white eye sockets of the mask. Doyoung would then report to Junmyeon, who would report to Chanyeol, who would probably report to the FBI. Jeno was only to engage if absolutely necessary.

After that, he set out on patrol. He usually found some discreet place to hide his backpack, and then went all over Queens looking for trouble, quite literally. Around five thirty, he stopped a robbery in Murray Hill. Then, around seven, he stopped a man from stealing a woman’s purse in Elmhurst. Nothing too much.

Around eight, he finally headed home, this time dressed normally, using the train and not web fluid. He walked home, tired, knowing that he’d immediately have to do that cursed AP calc homework. When he got home, he opened his backpack pocket to look for his keys, rummaging between his notebooks and other things. 

Shuffling through his stuff, he furrowed his eyebrows as he couldn’t find them. Thinking back, he remembered this morning, when he’d left in a rush… and had very obviously left his keys on his desk.

“Shit,” He muttered to himself. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, remembering that Aunt Sunny had said she’d be working overtime tonight. He could very easily sneak in through his window, but he was pretty sure he’d locked it the night before, and it was too early. People’s lights were still on—anyone could see him if they just looked up, and then he would be screwed. 

Huffing and zipping his backpack up, he marched up to your house, before ringing the doorbell. He shifted his weight back and forth, from his heels to the balls of his feet, until the door opened up. A familiar man with a face just like Doyoung's, but older, with graying hair and arms scarred and muscled from years of working on the police force stood in the doorway.

“Jeno?” Your dad offered him a warm smile. “Hey, kiddo, what’s up?”

“Hi, Mr. Kim,” Jeno said, smiling back. He shifted nervously. “I, um… I left my keys in my room this morning, and my aunt’s working late, so… could I… maybe wait here? Y/N’s home, right?” 

The man nodded. “Of course, of course. Come in!” 

Your dad had always been super friendly, even from the day Jeno had first met him. You'd told Jeno once that he was the only real father figure you'd ever had. Once everything settled after him and your mom got married, you started calling him dad altogether. And since you and Jeno were practically glued at the hip, he got along with your dad almost as well as you did.

“Okay.” Jeno stepped in and set down his backpack at the base of the coat rack next to the door, as he’d done a million times before. Jeno stepped into the living room, and sat down on the couch. He folded his hands in his lap and looked up at your dad.

"I think Y/N's in the shower, but she should be done soon. You can just wait here if you want… have you eaten anything yet?”

“Uh, I had a granola bar on the train, but that’s it.”

“We have some leftover pasta here, if you want—”

“Thanks, Mr. Kim, really! I’m fine.”

Your dad nodded, sitting down on his recliner. “So, have you started your college list, yet? Y/N said you wanted to stay here in New York.”

Jeno nodded, pushing some hair out of his face. “Well, yeah. It would make things a lot easier, I think. I might want to apply to NYU, but I think I’ll just go to community college, or something.”

Your dad shook his head. “You’re a pretty smart kid, Jeno. I think you could get into Columbia if you set out to. Plus, Chanyeol Park doesn’t give out internships to anybody. That’s your secret weapon.”

Jeno smiled. “Well, you’ve got a point.” 

Your dad gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder. “Come on, trying won’t hurt!” Your dad made a face, and then rubbed his knuckles. “Have you been working out? Those muscles weren’t there the last time I did that.”

Jeno laughed, trying to think of an excuse. “Oh, a little bit? The house needed some fixing up over the summer, and I wanted to help Aunt Sunny, so…”

“Jeno?” 

He turned immediately, eyes landing on you at the base of the staircase. You’d changed into an old t-shirt and pajama pants. Your hair was slightly damp. “What are you doing here?” You asked, with a curious smile.

His shoulders slumped, and he grinned sheepishly. “Terrible Tuesday strikes again. I forgot my keys.”

You grimaced. “Brutal, dude. You wanna come up?” Your eyes moved to your dad. “Or am I interrupting guy time?”

“Oh, definitely,” Jeno answered, playing along. He took a cocky tone as he rested his hands on the back of his neck. “Your dad was just telling me about how much the NYPD needs me.” 

You stifled a laugh. You dad seemed to be holding back a laugh too. "Hey, you're joking, but if you keep working out like that, and if by some impossible chance, the college thing doesn't work out… We might just be able to catch Spiderman if we finally got some brain cells on the force."

"Ugh, dad," You groaned, unaware of Jeno's gut twisting, "Not again."

"Yeah, Mr. Kim," Jeno said, scratching the back of his head, "He's not that bad."

Your dad shook his head. "Look, I don't hate the guy. In all honesty, crime rates have dropped since he started doing his thing. But he thinks he's above the law, and his methods can be a bit… unorthodox sometimes. He’s been undermining us for years and his tech is state of the art. Makes me wonder about what we should do to modernize the force."

Jeno looked downward, wondering what would happen if your dad knew the truth.

"Well, I guess we may just never find out. Jeno'd make a horrible cop. He couldn't hurt a fly if you paid him a million dollars."

But you came to the rescue as you grabbed his backpack, and soon enough he was up the stairs with you, heading into your bedroom, laughing to yourselves when you heard your dad jokingly call out, "Fifteen inch distance, you two! Door stays open!"

He sat on your desk chair while you lay on your bed, limbs splaying out. 

"So you left your keys."

Jeno groaned. "Don't remind me. I was in such a rush to leave, that I… I forgot. I'm so stupid."

You rolled your eyes, rolling over onto your stomach to look at him. "You're not stupid, Jen. You made an honest mistake because you were in a hurry." 

Standing up, you walked over to him and leaned against the desk. "Seriously, Jeno. What's gotten into you, lately? You freak out about every little thing. It's starting to worry me." 

Jeno shook his head. "I don't know," He admitted. "I think I'm just scared about how after this year, everything changes. Renjun’s headed upstate. Jaemin’s going to Boston. You want to go to LA. I think Hyuck and I are the only ones who want to stay here. I just… I don't want things to change." 

Your expression turned sad as he continued. "Everyone is expecting great things from me. You're smart, Jeno. You can get into an Ivy. Or, you have a Park internship, you'll be fine. What if I don't want things to be fine? What if I want them to just stay the same?"

You stayed silent for a few moments, trying to think of what to say. Jeno was relatively level headed for someone your age, but even he had moments of doubt and panic. It made moments like these difficult.  You sighed before grabbing him by the hand. Wordlessly, you tugged him over to the bed, sitting him down and leaning your head on his shoulder. He could feel the dampness in your hair seeping slowly into his shirt.

"I guess I understand what you mean," You mumbled, trying to reason with him, "But come on. You wouldn't really want everything to stay the same. You can't tell me you want to keep getting AP calc homework. And I definitely doubt that you'd want to have your ass kicked by San for the rest of your life."

Jeno looked at the floor. "You're right. But you know that's not what I mean—"

"I know," You huffed, "I'm just saying. Change… it's inevitable. The longer you fight it, the harder it is."

Jeno nodded. "This sucks."

"It does," You agreed, taking his hand in yours. "But at least we have each other's backs, y'know?"

Something of a smile appeared on his face. You were so close to him, leaning on him, stroking his knuckles with your thumb. He hoped you couldn't hear his heart pounding in his chest. 

"We really do, huh?" His voice turned quiet, with a bit of a sleepy lull to it. He allowed his head to rest on yours. "You're so comfortable. Can I like, use you as a pillow for the rest of my life?"

You giggled. "I'll consider it on two conditions."

"Oh, you'll consider. How generous of you."

"Yes, I'll consider. Now, do you wanna hear my terms or not?" 

Jeno raised an eyebrow. "Go ahead," He said, before putting on his best Marlon Brando voice, "Make me an offer I can't refuse."

Snorting, you lifted your head off of his. "Okay. One, you finish your calculus homework here before Sunny gets home."

He pursed his lips. "Okay, I could probably do that. What's the other one?"

"Let me drive you to school for the rest of the year." 

Jeno stared at you, and you nodded, eyes wide. "Trust me, Jen. You wouldn't need to wake up so early! And plus, you can't text the guy manning the subway asking him to give you five minutes because you need to find your keys."

Jeno gnawed on the inside of his cheek. You did have a point, and to be honest, he could probably refrain from putting his feet up on your dashboard.

"Deal." 

You grinned. "Awesome," You answered, before nodding towards his backpack. "Now get to work, Einstein."

The rest of the week wasn't that bad. Yes, you were absolutely batshit insane about your truck in the morning, but he soon realized he didn't really mind. Not when it allowed you both to spend some twenty extra minutes together in the mornings, and they were spent joking around and listening to your extremely varied playlist. 

On the other hand, he was saddled with more and more homework, greater and greater expectations. The looming threat of Friday's mission rolled around, and it made Jeno feel like time was passing much too slowly but also way too quickly. There was so much on his mind. He had chemistry with you on Thursdays in the afternoon, which also meant that San was there. Which also meant that sometimes, his heightened senses would pick up on San dropping a tacky pick up line which made Jeno want to punch him in the jaw.

Finally, finally, Friday afternoon rolled around. As he bid you goodbye and promised to see you later, he tried to ignore the feeling in his stomach. The feeling that something was about to go very, very wrong. He went out on patrol, ready for Doyoung to set up the call and tell him where he needed to go. It didn’t help that there wasn’t a lot for him to do that day. Crime had seemed to slow down altogether. 

When the time finally came, and the sun was beginning to set, Doyoung rang in at about 7, telling him the location. An old warehouse near LaGuardia airport, hidden from prying eyes. Jeno made his way to the place, avoiding security cameras Doyoung warned him about, and found a place to hide. There was a hole in the warehouse roof, which allowed him to peer right into the building without being seen. It was about thirty feet from the ground.

“Why is it always old, abandoned warehouses?” Jeno grumbled. He heard Doyoung laugh quietly. 

“Beats me,” Doyoung sighed. 

And so they waited. Jeno wondered vaguely if you were still working. He wasn’t sure. They made time talking quietly, until a black SUV rolled into the warehouse. “Woah, Doyoung,” He murmured, “Hold up.”

Jeno leaned forward, but quickly realized he probably wouldn’t be able to hear what was being said. “D.R.E.A.M, activate Heightened Intelligence Protocol.”

Activating Heightened Intelligence Protocol.

The protocol allowed Jeno to use the lenses over his eyes to zoom in on specific targets, as well as use a microphone embedded in the suit to pick up audio from far away and feed it directly into his ears.

He watched as three figures got out of the car, a fourth remaining in the driver’s seat. The trio stood in front of the car, and Jeno recognized the man in the middle as the man Junmyeon had been talking about.

“Alright, there’s Henry Duke,” He said, “The one in the middle.”

 “Got it,” Doyoung replied, sounding satisfied. “Now all we have to do is wait for the other party.”

“Did Junmyeon’s sources say anything about who it would be?”

“No. They weren’t able to find that out. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

Jeno’s eyes never left the man. “Do you think it’s something international?”

Doyoung sighed. “I’m not sure. If it is international, then you need to be even more careful.”

“Got it. I think—Wait, here they come.” 

A second vehicle, this one another black SUV, rolled up not too far away from the first car. The lights turned off and the engine sputtered to a stop, and four men stepped out of the vehicle.

Jeno’s stomach dropped, and of its own accord, his mouth let loose a quiet, “What the fuck,” as he registered the person leading them. 

“What?” Doyoung asked, before realizing what—who—he was looking at. “...Is that my dad?”

“I think it is,” Jeno whispered, fingertips suddenly numb. Who was he kidding? They both knew who it was. 

“So,” One of the men next to your dad said, “You show us yours, we’ll show you ours?”

Henry Duke clapped his hands together with an impish grin. “I suppose. Reagan, get the case.”

One of the two men standing beside him started off toward the trunk of the car. “It caught me off guard when I heard that the force wanted to purchase these. Almost made me wonder if this was your attempt at a sting operation.”

“What made you change your mind?” Your dad asked. Jeno swallowed at how cold he sounded. This wasn’t your dad, and it didn’t seem like Officer Kim either. This was someone Jeno had never met before. 

“Honestly, Kim?” Duke raised an eyebrow, shrugging. “It was you. Your cooperativeness and willing to feed us information, as well as your… insurance agreement. And besides, you made a very interesting point when you said that the Avengers Initiative and Park’s alum Spiderman is ruining the way the law operates around here. That type of bitterness… hard to fake.”

Your dad huffed. “We’re fucking tired of it.”

The man leaning against the car your dad had stepped out of scoffed. “If this helps us catch the little asshole, then so be it.”

Jeno frowned. “I’m not little—”

“Jeno, shut up!” Doyoung snapped. 

“—Alright, then.” The man holding the briefcase—Reagan—clicked it open, as if it were a prize reveal on The Price is Right. Five guns, all modified to hold glowing Chitauri stones were placed carefully together side by side.

“You know the basics. No radiation. Keep it away from security scanners and x-rays. They will blow up. And second of all, these are at half the price, along with the promise from the chief of police that my business won’t be touched, and will only be distributed to officers in on the operation and have agreed to turn off their body cameras when they decide to use these weapons. Should this not be a sting operation, we’ll be back here to negotiate.”

Jeno leaned forward, watching anxiously.

“Yes, sir,” Your dad answered, nodding. “We have the money here.”

“Hand it over, then.”

That was when Jeno made his mistake. He leaned forward too much, and proceeded to fall right through the hole, bringing down some scraps of the roof with him. As he tumbled through the air, the zoom on his lenses caused him to grow dizzy as he had no idea what he was looking at. He caught himself before he could fall, clumsily commanding D.R.E.A.M to go back to turn off the current protocol. His vision returned to normal, and he swung up onto a rafter holding the warehouse up.

“So, we have company.” Duke didn’t sound as amused as he had before. His face turned into a sneer. “Get him.”

In less than a second, before Jeno could say anything, five guns were pointed directly at him. He managed to swing away before any bullets could hit him. 

“Jeno, get out of there now,” Doyoung ordered. 

“What about the guns?” Jeno asked, swinging to another rafter. “They know I’m here, I might as well get them before I go—”

“No! Jeno, listen to what I’m telling you. You’ve done more than enough, and you need to let it g—”

Your dad aimed, and a bullet fired right at Jeno’s chest. For a second, he forgot that the chest area of the suit was lined with bulletproof material. While it didn’t shoot into his chest, it ricocheted right off him, and since he was in motion, it somehow caused the bullet to bounce back in the direction in which it came. 

The wind was knocked out of Jeno, but it was nothing compared to watching the bullet land in the middle of your father’s chest. On the other line, he heard Doyoung yell, followed by the sound of something falling. And then, as he made his way back towards the hole he’d fallen out of, he couldn’t rip his eyes away from the body as it crumpled to the ground. 

The others around him scrambled to get back into their respective cars. Jeno was back on the roof now, trying not to hyperventilate. “I’m sorry,” He gasped, “Do—Doyoung, I-I’m sorry, I didn’t want to—”

“Jeno, you need to get out of there, now,” Doyoung said, voice raspy. “GO!” 

So he did, and Doyoung cut off the call once he was out of the vicinity. Jeno didn’t blame him. He swung across buildings, feeling numb as he looked for the apartment complex roof where he’d decided to hide his backpack.

When he finally did, he changed in a hurry, before slumping against the wall and forcing himself to take deep breaths. 

Doyoung’s dad—your dad—was dead. And it was all his fault. 

He cried on the way down the staircase. He cried on his way to the subway. The entire time, he ignored people’s stares. Suddenly everything was too loud, and if he met someone in the eyes he’d just about break down in the middle of the station. 

As he got onto the train, Jeno thought about all of the things your dad had done for you, and for Jeno. All the times he'd taken you both to Coney Island in the summer when you were younger. The year Pokemon Go came out he took the both of you driving around in his car so you and Jeno could catch as many Pokemon as you could. 

He’d formally adopted you when you were thirteen. You were his daughter in nearly every sense of the word, regardless of blood. And now he was dead, because of a stupid mistake that Jeno had made.

What would you say if you knew? He didn’t want to know. Checking the time on his phone, he saw he’d gotten a message from you just three minutes ago.

[8:36 PM]

y/n: lemme know when ur outside!! :)

“Fuck,” He murmured, wiping his eyes. He knew he needed to stop crying before he got to your house, and he had about ten minutes before he got to his stop, and then another five minute walk to the neighborhood. He focused on taking deep breaths and taking long swigs from his water bottle in the meantime, trying to tune out the sound of other people talking and the sound of the train on the rails.

The walk was the longest five minute walk he’d ever taken. The flashing lights of convenience stores did nothing to calm him down. As the stores in his peripheral vision began transitioning into suburban homes, he felt his heart speed up again. The constant movement as he walked meant he missed his phone vibrating in his backpack as you rang his number.

After what seemed like an eternity, two familiar houses came into his line of vision, and his shoulders slumped as he spotted you on your porch, looking small and teary, curled up into a little ball. In one hand, you were clutching your phone.

His stomach twisted as he put on a confused tone, even though he knew damn well that you knew. “...Y/N?”

You stood up, running to him and burying yourself into his chest, crumpling into his arms. You would have fell over if Jeno hadn’t held both of you up. 

“Jeno,” You sobbed, “You’re n-not go-onna believe it.”

He brought a hand up to caress your hair, holding back tears of his own as he asked a question he already knew the answer to.

“Y/N, what happened?”

taglist: @decembermoonskz @itsapapisongo @lenaluvs​ @crescentjen​

[fanfics4all]

Torture

Request: Yes / No 

Requests are closed <3 Have a nice day/night

Harry Potter x Fem!Lupin!Reader 

Word count: 4190 (Probably could have gotten to the torture party quicker, but I just had to add backstory lol)

Warnings: Torture obviously, and Dobby’s death

Y/N: Your Name 

Y/N/N: Your Nickname

A/N:  Bingo card made by @slyttherins​

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK! 

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you! 

Masterlist 

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

Harry and I have been together since he and Cho broke up. Now we were in our seventh year and everything was going to hell. Professor Snape had killed Dumbledore and was now in charge of Hogwarts. I feared going back to school, but I feared for Harry more. So, when the summer was coming to an end and my older brother Remus said he was going with the Order to Harry’s I immediately demanded to go with him. 

“Y/N/N, it’s dangerous.” He said. 

“This is my boyfriend’s life in danger. I am coming with you.” I said, standing my ground. 

“Y/N/N… if anything happened to you Mum and Dad would kill me.” He sighed. 

“If anything happens to you or Harry, you won’t have to worry about Mum and Dad.” I threatened. 

“There’s nothing I can do to convince you to stay home with Edward, is there?” He sighed again. 

“Not a thing. And if you go without me I’ll just follow you.” I shrugged and he sighed once again. 

“Fine, fine. You can join me, but you better not leave my side.” He said and I smiled. 

“Thank you!” I said and hugged him. 

Before we went off to Harry’s house, The Order met up to discuss what would be happening. You-Know-Who was searching for Harry. He was going to go after him and we needed to act first. We were the only line of defence for Harry and I was going to fight for both our lives till the very end. Once the plan was in order we all got on our brooms and headed for Harry. When we all landed Harry opened the door and I ran up to him, throwing my arms around him and holding him tightly. He hugged me back and I leaned up to kiss him. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked shocked. 

“Did you honestly think I would just sit around while your life was in danger?” I laughed and walked into the room with the others. 

“I tried to get her to stay home, but she’s stubborn.” Remus said and I smiled. 

“All righ’ ‘arry? Yeh look fit.” Hagrid said with a smile. 

“Yeah, he’s ruddy gorgeous. What say we get undercover before someone murders him.” Mad-Eye said in his usual rough tone. 

“I thought you were looking after the Prime Minister, Kingsley?” Harry asked. 

“You’re most important.” Kingsley answered. Harry smiled and Bill Weasley walked in, extending his hand to Harry. 

“Hello, Harry. Bill Weasley.” He introduced himself. 

“Wasn’t alway this handsome.” Fred joked. 

“Dead ugly.” George joined in. 

“True enough. Owe it all to a werewolf by the name of Greyback. Hope to repay the favor one day.” Bill said. Fleur walked in next to him and kissed his cheek. 

“You are still beautiful to me, William.” She said. 

“Just remember, Fleur, once you’re married, Bill takes his steaks on the raw side now.” Remus said, finally walking into the room with Tonks. 

“My husband, the joker. By the way, wait until you hear the news! Remus and I are-” 

“Alright, alright! You’ll all have time for a cozy catch-up later! We’ve got to get the hell out of here and soon!” Mad-Eye cut her off. He dropped a sack by his feet and turned to Harry. 

“Potter, you’re underage, which means you’ve still got the Trace on you.” He said. 

“The Trace?” Harry asked. 

“You sneeze and the Ministry will know who wipes your nose. Point is, we have to use those means of transport the Trace can’t detect, brooms, thestrals, and the like. We’ll go in pairs. That way if anyone’s out there waiting for us- and I reckon there will be- they won’t know which Harry Potter is the real one.” He explained. 

“The real one?” Harry asked. 

“I believe you’re familiar with this particular brew.” He said, pulling out a flask. 

“No! Absolutely not!” Harry exclaimed. 

“I told you he’d take it well.” Hermione sighed. 

“If you think I’m going to let people risk their lives for me-” 

“Never done that before, have we?” Ron joked, cutting him off. 

“This is different. Taking that. Becoming me- no.” Harry said. 

“Well, none of us really fancy it, mate.” Fred said. 

“Yeah, imagine if something went wrong and we were stuck as scrawny, specky git forever.” George joked. 

“Reckon Y/N would love having more than one Harry.” Fred added and I rolled my eyes. 

“Piss off, the both of you.” I said and they laughed. 

“Everyone here’s of age, Potter, and they’ve all agreed to take the risk.” Mad-Eye said. 

“Technically, I’ve been coerced. Mundungus Fletcher, Mr. Potter. I’ve always been a huge admirer.” Mundungus introduced and just about everyone rolled their eyes. 

“Nip it, Mundungus! Alright, Granger, as discussed.” Mad-Eye said. Hermione nodded slightly and grabbed a bit of Harry’s hair and pulled. 

“Blimey, Hermione!” Harry groaned. 

“Straight in here, if you please.” Mad-Eye said, holding open the flask. Smoke rushed out the top and he handed it to George first. 

“For those of you who haven’t taken Polyjuice Potion before, fair warning. It tastes like goblin piss.” Mad-Eye said. 

“Have a lot of experience with that, do you, Mad-eye?” Fred joked. Mad-Eye’s eye rotated towards Fred. 

“Just trying to defuse the tension.” Fred said. George took the first sip, then Fred, Ron, Hermione, Fleure, Mundungus, and finally it was passed to me. 

“Y/N? No! Lupin, you can’t seriously be alright with this!” Harry said, before I could take a sip. Everyone else was already transforming. 

“I’m not, but like I said, she’s stubborn.” Remus sighed. 

“Who’s she gonna ride with?” He asked and everyone was silent. That was something they haven’t figured out yet. 

“I’ll go on my own. They won’t expect it and probably will just leave me be.” I shrugged. 

“Absolutely not!” Remus said. 

“It would look less specious than two Harrys riding together.” I pointed out. 

“Very well.” Mad-Eye nodded. 

“What? You can’t be serious! What if she gets hurt? There’s no one with her to protect her!” Remus said. 

“She can’t go on her own!” Harry said. 

“Y/N, are you willing to take the risk?” Mad-Eye asked and everyone looked my way. 

“If it means Harry is safe, then of course.” I answered. 

“She agrees, now hurry up and drink so we can get on with this.” He said. Before my brother or boyfriend could stop me I took a gulp of the awful potion and handed the flask back to Mad-Eye. I soon also looked like Harry. 

“Wow, we’re identical!” Fred and George said together. 

“Not yet you aren’t.” Mad-Eye said. He walked over to the sack he dropped earlier and dumped out eight pairs of identical clothing. 

“Don’t you have something a bit more sporty, do you?” George asked. 

“Yes, don’t fancy this colour at all.” Fred agreed. 

“Fancy this, you’re not you, so shut it and strip.” He said to the twins and turned to Harry. 

“You’ll need to change too, Potter.” He said. All of us started stripping, and I think I can speak for everyone when I say that it was a bit awkward. 

“Bill, look away… I’m ‘ideous.” Fleur said dramatically and I rolled my eyes. 

“I knew Ginny was lying about that tattoo!” Ron said with a smirk. 

“Harry, your eyesight really is awful.” Hermione said, wobbling a bit. 

“Don’t worry Harry, I still love you.” I said and he smiled. 

“Blimey. I almost forgot!” Mad-Eye rummaged through his pocket and pulled out a bunch of glasses. 

“Right then. We’ll be pairing off. Each Potter will have a protector, except for Y/N, As for you, Harry…” Mad-Eye started. 

“Yes?” Everyone but me answered, again I rolled my eyes. 

“The real Harry! Where the devil are you, anyway?” He asked. 

“Here.” Harry said, walking towards him. 

“You’ll ride with Hagrid.” He finished. 

“Brought yeh here sixteen years ago when you were barely bigger than a Bowtruckle. Seems only righ’ I should be the one ter take yeh away.” Hagrid said and I smiled at how sentimental he could be. 

“Yeah, it’s all very touching. Let’s go.” Mad-Eye said and stormed out of the house. Everyone got on their brooms and thestrals, while Hagrid got on his motorbike. As the real Harry walked out of the house Hagrid tapped the sidecar for him. Instead of going to him he walked over to me. 

“Please be careful, love.” He whispered. 

“I’ll be fine. And if for some reason I’m not then you and Remus can tell me you told me so.” I smirked. 

“Harry, we need ter go!” Hagrid called him. 

“Go, I’ll see you soon.” I smiled and he nodded. He got in Hagrid’s sidecar and everyone looked towards Mad-Eye. 

“Good luck, everyone. On the count of three. One… two…” Before he could finish Hagrid’s bike came to life and off he went. Everyone flew to the skies and split off. It wasn’t long until an uneasy feeling filled the air. Death Eaters dropped from the clouds and started surrounding us. Green flashes lit up the sky as they tried to hit us. I glanced ahead and saw the real Harry was getting away. Everyone was splitting off more and I found myself alone. I couldn’t see anyone ahead or behind me, no one was around to help me if I needed it. I pushed those thoughts away. This is for Harry. This is so he’s safe. Suddenly three Death Eaters came out of nowhere and shot a spell at my broom. My broom stopped flying and was now pulling me towards the ground. Fear gripped my heart as the wind harshly hit my face. I suddenly stopped falling and was grabbed by one of the Death Eaters. 

“Think he’s the real one?” The one holding me asked. 

“No, they wouldn’t let the real Potter go off on his own.” Another answered. 

“Doesn’t matter if he’s the real one or not, he could have information. Let’s take him with us. Bellatrix will get ‘im to talk.” The last one said. My eyes widened and my throat went dry. Harry and Remus were going to kill me if Bellatrix didn’t first. 

I didn’t say a word as we arrived at Malfoy Manor. I knew the potion was going to wear off soon and they would know exactly who I was. Just as we were arriving at the large gate I could feel myself turning back into myself. 

“Oi, looks like you was right, this ain’t the real Potter.” The one gripping my arm said. 

“She’ll still be of some use.” Another said. We walked up to the gate and standing on the other side was Bellatrix, Lucius, and Narcissa Malfoy. Bellatrix walked forward and the Death Eater holding me pushed me against the metal bars. 

“She was a fake Potter, but we thought she might have information.” One said. 

“Bring her in.” Bellatrix said with an evil smirk. I was roughly brought into the Manor and pushed down to my knees. 

“Call Draco, he might know who she is to Potter.” Bellatrix said. She kneeled down in front of me and roughly pulled my chin up to I was facing her. 

“Tell me dearie, why were you left all on your own?” She asked, but I said nothing. 

“What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?” She asked with a smirk. We heard footsteps enter the room and I saw Draco. His eyes widened slightly and I saw worry swimming in them. 

“Draco, I was hoping you would know who our guest is.” Bellatrix said, turning to face him and letting go of my face. 

“S-She went to Hogwarts.” He answered. It was obvious he was scared and that he didn’t want to give me up. 

“We know that much, but who is she to Potter?” She asked in a slightly annoyed tone. Draco stared at me for a moment and gulped. 

“Now Draco, all you need to do is tell us. She could be the key to keeping the Dark Lord from killing all of us.” His Father said. It was now my turn to gulp. Sure Draco was a huge git to my boyfriend and friends, but he oddly never said anything about me. Always just questioning why I was with Harry. Perhaps it was because I was nice to him despite everything he did. 

“I’m Y/N Lupin. Harry’s girlfriend.” I answered and everyone looked at me in shock, Draco especially. 

“See dear, that wasn’t so hard.” Bellatrix said, her smirk growing and seeming to get more evil. 

“If you simply answer all my questions then no harm will come to you.” She said, walking closer to me again. 

“I will not betray my friends, family, or boyfriend.” I answered with a hard stare. 

“Then this will be a very hard time for you.” She said, her fake kindness dropping. 

She wasn’t lying when she said that. At first it was just little cuts with her knife. It was painful, but nothing I couldn’t handle. However, she was just warming up. She then moved on to the Cruciatus Curse. The pain was like nothing I’ve ever felt before. Even when the spell was over the pain still lingered for a little while. That lasted a month or so, I’m not entirely sure, but once she realized that I wouldn’t be talking by that means she moved on. She said she didn’t want to damage me to the point I couldn’t say anything. Nothing she was doing was working and I could tell she was getting frustrated. That’s when she had her brilliant idea. She brought me up from the cellar and standing there was Lucius, Narcissa, and Grayback. I felt my blood run cold and boil at the same time. He was the man that hurt my poor brother at the age of five! 

“I’m sure you know Fenrir well.” Bellatrix smirked. She pushed me to the ground and held me down. 

“Now, I’m going to let him do the same thing he did to your brother, unless you tell me what I want to know.” She said. 

“Where is Harry Potter?” She asked. 

“Now that you’ve all taken over the Ministry, he could be anywhere.” I answered. I didn’t know where he would be at this point. I didn’t know what the plan was. 

“Liar!” She shouted and started carving something into my arm. 

“Tell me where he is!” She shouted at me. 

“I don’t know!  Please! I don’t know!” I cried out in pain. 

“You are a pathetic little liar. Fenrir!” She called and got off me. 

“I think it’s time you gave her a little gift.” She said, that evil smirk appearing on her face once again. 

“With pleasure.” He smirked. He crawled over to me and sniffed me. He laughed and licked the blood that split from my arm. 

“I’m going to enjoy this.” He said and bit into the same arm that Bellatrix carved into. I screamed and cried as his sharp teeth drug into my skin. He was suddenly pulled off me and Narcissa was there placing something on my arm. 

“Wormtail! Come lock our new little puppy up. I suspect she’ll become hungry soon.” Bellatrix smirked. I was pulled off the ground and brought back down to the cellar. Wormtail locked a metal collar around my neck and smirked. 

“Be a good dog and keep the howling down.” He said and left with a laugh. 

It wasn’t long after he left that I started transforming. I thought the Cruciatus Curse was the worst pain I’ve ever felt, but that was wrong. Transforming into a werewolf was way more painful. It felt as though all my bones were breaking and shifting into different places. It felt like my mind was going hazy and I had no control over myself. I felt the hunger hit me and the need to hunt became strong. I tried to run, but the collar around my neck kept me in place. I screamed, growled, and howled trying to get out of the chains and to something to eat. When I realized that I couldn't, I started hurting myself. I clawed at my neck and arms, ripping the skin from my body. That was the longest night of my life. And the next few days I felt incredibly ill and weak. It didn’t help that they were hardly feeding me anymore. 

That was how it went from then on. They didn’t bother torturing me for information anymore, I was now torturing myself. They had done the worst to me and now were just leaving me with my own thoughts. Remus would blame himself for this. I know he was going to say how he should have tried harder to make me stay home. Or how he should have made sure he was with me the night we all split up. I knew Harry would blame himself too. He’d say how it was his fault all this happened. All because I was with him. 

“Y/N?” Someone asked quietly and I looked up to see Draco. He was standing over me and I pushed myself closer to the wall. 

“Please, don’t come any closer…” I whispered. 

“What did they do to you?” He asked, kneeling down, but not coming extremely close. 

“They made me like my brother…” I answered and his eyes widened. 

“Grayback?” He asked and I nodded. 

“They’ve kidnapped Luna, they’re bringing her here.” He said. 

“They’re keeping her with me? I’ll kill her!” I cried. 

“No, you won’t. You’re locked up and can’t get to her, she’s smart enough to not come near you.” He said. 

“I’ll bring you something to eat later tonight, I know they’re starving you.” He said. 

“Why do you care so much?” I asked. 

“You’re one of the only people who was ever nice to me.” He answered with a small smile and stood up. 

“I’ll see you tonight.” He said and left. 

Just as Draco said, Luna was thrown into the cellar with me. She looked at me with wide eyes and came towards me. 

“Y/N?” She asked. 

“Luna, stay away.” I said. 

“Why? Why are you in chains?” She asked confused. 

“I-I’m a werewolf now… So please just stay away.” I begged. 

“Oh Y/N, I’m so sorry.” She said and took a few steps my way. 

“Please Luna! Just stay back, I don’t want to hurt anyone.” I cried. 

“You’re not in your wolf for now Y/N, you won’t hurt me.” She smiled and came to sit next to me. 

“I don’t know when the full moon is…” I whispered. 

“Then I’ll stay away at night, but you need a friend right now.” She said and hugged me. It was the first kind touch I had since I got here. She was right, I needed that. 

A month went by and as promised Luna stayed away from me each night to be safe. When the night was finished and I was back to human Luna came to comfort me. She helped keep me distracted and even helped Draco when he came to check on me. The two of them patched up my wounds that I had given myself. Luna was sitting with me and talking about something her Dad had written about in their paper. I tried to pay attention, but my mind kept drifting off to Harry and my brother. 

“What are we gonna do? We can’t leave Hermione alone with her!” A new voice said and Luna and I looked at each other confused. 

“Ron?” She asked as she got up and looked around the corner. 

“Harry?” She asked and my heart skipped a beat. 

“Luna?” Harry asked and a few tears fell down my face. 

“Y/N is here too, just this way.” She said. She came back around the corner with Ron and Harry following her. 

“Y/N!” Harry said, his face looking a bit odd, but it was definitely him. He ran up and hugged me and I held him back. 

“What happened to you? Why are you locked up like this?” He asked, worry clear in his voice 

“They tried to get me to tell them where you were…” I answered. 

“What did they do to you?” He asked again. 

“Grayback…” I whispered and his eyes widened. 

“You’re…” He couldn’t finish his sentence. 

“I’m just like Remus now…” I whispered. 

“I’m so sorry Y/N.” He said and pulled me to him. 

“We’ll get you out of here, I promise. 

“There’s no way out of here. We’ve tried everything. It’s enchanted.” Ollivander said. He was here before I was, same with Griphook. Harry pulled up his pant leg and pulled out a piece of mirror. 

“You’re bleeding, Harry. That’s a curious thing to keep in your sock.” Luna said. 

“Help us.” He whispered to it. Then quickly put it away as footsteps grew closer. Ron and Harry ran towards the door as it opened. 

“Let her go!” Ron growled. 

“Shut up! Get back!” Wormtail growled at them. 

“You, goblin, come with me.” He said and then they left. 

“Aah!” A new voice said suddenly. 

“Dobby? What are you doing here?” Harry asked. 

“Dobby has come to rescue Harry Potter, of course.” He answered. 

“Dobby will always be there for Harry Potter.” He added. 

“You can apparate in and out of this room? Could you take us with you?” Harry asked. 

“Of course, sir. I’m an elf.” Dobby answered like it was obvious. 

“Works for me.” Ron said. 

“Dobby, I want you to take Luna, Y/N, and Mr. Ollivander-” 

“Shell Cottage on the outskirts of Tinworth.” Ron cut him off. 

“Trust me.” He added. 

“Whenever you’re ready, sir.” Luna said. 

“Sir? I like her very much.” Dobby said and they made their way over to me. 

“Meet me at the top of the stairs in ten seconds.” He said and Luna grabbed my hand. We were suddenly out of the cellar and on a beach. There was a little cottage that was quite cute, I wondered who it belonged to. Luna kneeled next to me and smiled. 

“Are you alright?” She asked. I felt my neck and the chain was no longer on my neck, but I felt some blood dripping down from where it dug into my skin. 

“I should be, but I shouldn’t be around anyone. The next full moon could be soon for all I know.” I said, slightly freaking out at just the thought of hurting my friends. 

“Shh Y/N, we’re free and safe now. Just enjoy that.” She smiled. I suppose she was right, but Harry wasn’t with us yet. 

It wasn’t that long until the others arrived. Their landing was a little rougher than ours, however. 

“You’re alright. We’re safe. We’re all safe.” Ron said to Hermione. 

“Harry Potter.” Dobby said and we all looked at him. 

“Dobby. Dobby! No, just… hold on.” Harry said and ran to him, holding him in his arms. 

“Hold on. Look, just hold on, okay?” Harry begged. 

“We’ll fix you. Hermione will have something. In your bag, Hermione? Hermione? What is it? Help me!” Harry begged, but she didn’t move. 

“Such a beautiful place… to be with friends. Dobby is happy to be with his friend… Harry Potter.” Dobby said, his last words he’ll ever speak. No one moved except for Luna. 

“We should close his eyes, don’t you think?” She said, kneeling next to them. Harry nodded and she gently closed his eyes. 

“There. Now he could be sleeping.” She said. 

“I want to bury him. Properly, without magic.” He said and everyone nodded. I got up and made my way  to him. 

“I’ll help you.” I said and he nodded. We all buried him without magic, but in the end it was just Harry and I left at his grave. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t protect you. I should have stopped you from taking that stupid potion.” He said and I shook my head. 

“Stop it. This isn’t your fault.” I said. 

“Yes it is Y/N, it is entirely my fault! You were brought into this mess because of me!” He said and I hushed him with a kiss. 

“Stop it. I love you Harry Potter and I would have done this no matter what. You and Remus are going to blame yourselves for the rest of your lives, but I will not ever blame either of you.” I said and he went to say something, but I stopped him with a kiss. 

“Whatever it is, don’t say it.” I said and he sighed. 

“Remus is going to kill me.” He said and I shook my head. 

“Not if he knows what’s good for him.” I said. That was when everything turned around. I was safe and with Harry and my friends. I’d allow myself these few moments of peace before the full moon came to ruin it again. But for now, I need to focus on the good. I needed to be happy that I was reunited with Harry and my friends.

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs-blog1 @schisbro87 @lover-of-books-and-teas @nerdygaloresposts @teenwolfbitches2 @genius2050 @drw0301bieber @lady-of-lies​ @ravenmoore14 @ravenempress101 @cillianchamp @rowanthomasknapp​ @rachelxwayne​ @in-slytherin-we-trust​ @accio-rogers​ @sambucky8​ @bruisedfists-and-splitlips @answer-the-sirens​ @andreasworlsboring101​ @vanessa-kom-skaikru​ @impulse-anchor​ @vamora​

[megalony]

Problem solved- Part 2

I wrote the first part of this new Harry Styles series then got caught up in other fics but I’m finally back to this series, I’ve had some lovely feedback already with only one part posted. I hope you will all like this next part.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie​ @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr​ @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah​ @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6​ @rogertaylors-lipgloss​ @sj-thefan​ @omgitsearly​ @luckytrashgooprebel​ @scarsout​ @deaky-with-a-c​ @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac​ @vousmemanqueez​ @jonesyaddiction​ @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms​ @saint-hardy​ @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls​ @mrsalwayswritex​ @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @crazylittlethingg​ @allauraleigh​

Masterlist

Part 1

Summary: Harry offers for (Y/n) and her daughter to come and live with him and his son to help her out of a tricky situation and feelings soon start to develop between them both.

Enjoy.

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"Harry I can't... can you show me again, please?" A sigh followed the end of (Y/n)'s sentence and Harry could see the frustration and nervousness in her flitting eyes.

This wasn't getting any easier for (Y/n) right now and Harry knew that it wasn't going to get easier when she was becoming very impatient. She wanted to get this right and do it all in the first day because the quicker she got this mapped out and remembered the easier things would be. Especially when the social worker came round to see them next week.

"Love, you know you can't do this in a day, don't you? It's gonna take a while."

Harry needed (Y/n) to know that trying to map out his entire house in her head was not going to be an easy thing to do. His house was much bigger than her own and whenever (Y/n) moved homes she had to take a long time until she felt at ease enough to walk around without holding the walls or reaching for furniture to remind herself where she was.

It felt unnerving but a little empowering to (Y/n) when she had lied to her social worker Joanne and said that she was in a new relationship and her and her partner had decided to move in together to make things easier. Joanne didn't even suspect that (Y/n) was lying in order to make sure she could keep custody of her daughter, she was simply happy (Y/n) was having and accepting help to make her life easier.

Harry had been all for moving in as soon as possible to make things easier for all of them and they had gotten all of (Y/n) and Ella's things moved in now. All they had to do now was get (Y/n) used to Harry's house and memorise a layout of the house.

(Y/n) had been to his house many times, but she had only been in a few rooms downstairs and she never made much of a layout in her head. She didn't know where all the pictures on the walls were, where the cabinets and desks and ornaments were. She had to remember exactly where everything was so she could manouevre around the house properly.

"I know but I... I want to memorise it so when Joanne comes, she won't be concerned. She'll see that I can walk round the house and show her to the kitchen without tripping or that I can make it to the washing machine or bathroom without a problem. I want her to see that I can adapt here so she knows how good of a mum I am."

(Y/n) pursed her lips as she sat down on the bed, turning her head to the left when she could feel Harry moving closer until he was suddenly sat down beside her on the bed.

Joanne had given (Y/n) a month to get herself sorted and moved in with Harry before she would come and visit and her visit was only an inspection to see the house and check up on (Y/n). She wasn't assessing (Y/n) straight away or her abilities as a mother or to see if Ella would be better with (Y/n) or James. She was simply there to help (Y/n) if needed and see how she was doing but (Y/n) wanted to show her she was fine and capable. She wanted to prove that moving wasn't too stressful and that she was coping with a new environment just fine.

"When she comes here, she'll see how well you're doing to adapt to a new home and she'll see how happy we both are that you and Ella are here. If you trip or get confused or lost she will know that you aren't superwoman, you can't be expected to know the house from top to bottom in a few weeks."

Harry gently eased his arm around (Y/n)'s shoulders, smiling down at her when she leaned her head on his shoulder, trying to accept and agree with what he was saying because she knew it made sense. But at the same time, her panic was making her desperate to do everything right and make no mistakes. Throughiut her life (Y/n) had to prove to people that she could do everything just as well as they could. She couldn't write but she could read brail, she could listen and imagine movies, she could imagine what things looked like such as colours and ornaments and pictures and people.

She could go to work, she could play music, she could go to the shops and figure out what was on which shelf and where the checkout was. (Y/n) could work out the world around her in seconds, she had gone through a pregnancy and labour and looked after her baby all without her eyesight.

(Y/n) was strong and could do anything she put her mind to, she just needed everyone else to see that.

"Can you show me the room again?" The way her voice was soft like velvet made Harry bite down on his lip before he darted his tongue out to run over both his lips. He was thankful right now that she couldn't see him or the effect her soft yet inviting voice had on him.

"Course, love." Harry cleared his throat when he realised how quiet and croaky his voice sounded.

Harry slowly got to his feet before he moved around when (Y/n) stood up so that he was standing behind her. He had to control his breathing when he pressed his chest up to her back so she couldn't feel any hitched breaths he had or the way his heart was fluttering in his chest. With (Y/n)'s lack of sight it meant that her other senses were how she saw the world and they were amplified. She could always feel when Harry was breathing faster or the slightest change in his stance and she knew exactly what it meant. He would hate for her to feel the effect she had on him.

To try and help (Y/n) learn her way around the house and where everything was, Harry had taken to standing behind her and guiding her around the house. He was being her eyes for her, walking her around the house so she could take in everything and try to remember it. Once she was sure she knew where everything was, she could do a lap of the house on her own and see if she was okay with the layout and where things were.

(Y/n) tensed her fingers and stretched them out to try and stop the nerves rattling through her before she felt Harry's hands resting on top of her own.

"Okay, seven steps from the bed until you reach the chest of drawers against the wall." Harry's soft low-pitched voice murmured quietly into (Y/n)'s ear where his lips were hovering as they walked as if they were conjoined. Their hands reached out in front of them until (Y/n) could lower them and feel the top of the polished wooden chest of drawers she was now using.

When deciding where to put her clothes (Y/n) knew it would be easier to keep them in the same order as when she was at her home. Her socks and underwear in the first drawer, vests and shirts in the middle drawer and trousers and leggings in the bottom drawer. All her dresses, pressed shirts and jumpers were in a wardrobe next to Harry's lined against the back wall and (Y/n) kept them in the same order as when at home to make it easy. Many of her coat hangers had paper labels on that had brail on them so she knew which item was which and what colour it was, etc,.

"Necklaces and rings are in here... the picture of us is there." (Y/n) spoke quietly and Harry assumed she was merely reminding herself of the items as she spoke. He loved watching and feeling the way her fingers skimmed over the dark blue metal box containing her jewellery or the picture frame he sat on the right side of the drawer.

Even though (Y/n) couldn't see pictures she still wanted them in her home and since this was technically her home, she wanted pictures of all of them around the house. She trusted Harry when he said which picture was better and he described them to her in enough detail to make her smile and imagine it herself.

"The wardrobe is over there... a-and the door is here." (Y/n) pointed out to the left before she started slowly walking towards where she thought the door was. Breathing in relief when she felt the door handle and opened the door, making sure she remembered the steps it took to get there from the chest of drawers.

"See, you're getting there, love."

"And you're sure us sharing a room is okay? I mean we're not exactly... together."

(Y/n) turned her head to the left but a shiver ran down her spine when she could feel Harry's breaths fanning gently against her nose and cheek. Even though she couldn't see him, she could almost see the way he was staring down at her. She could feel his stare burning into her features and it made her chest quake.

As much as (Y/n) was intrigued and nervous about sharing a room with Harry, she wanted to make sure he was okay with this. It wasn't exactly normal considering they weren't in an actual relationship.

This was all fake.

They were best friends living together with their children but pretending to be in a relationship to make sure that (Y/n) was able to keep sole custody of her daughter. Sharing a room was something Harry had proposed, he said it would be better in case Joanne wanted to look around the house and see where they were sleeping. And considering (Y/n) was used to sharing with James and having him there for help it seemed like a good idea. If (Y/n) needed to get up during the night Harry was there in case she tripped or had a nightmare which he knew happened a lot. It would also be easier for the kids to understand.

"Trust me love, it's fine. We've shared a room loads of times before and it's the easiest option."

"Okay then."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Elliot, honey do you want something to eat?" (Y/n) reached her hand out and gently ruffled his hair, feeling the fluffy strands of hair carding through her fingers like cotton wool.

The five year old seemed to be following (Y/n) around a lot the past two days she and Ella had officially moved in with him and Harry. (Y/n) had been a part of Elliot's life since he had been born so he was very comfortable around her like she was one of the family which was very good. But he was never normally this attached to her.

Moreover, he didn't seem too confused or intrigued by the fact that she couldn't see. Elliot seemed to take it in his stride, he questioned a lot of things because his capacity of understanding was different than the other kids but he never questioned why (Y/n) couldn't see. He even gave her some of the pictures he drew or painted at preschool even though he knew she couldn't see them. (Y/n) sometimes thought it was so she could appreciate what he was doing and how he was trying.

Elliot was a reserved child, he liked to be on his own or surrounded by family depending on his mood and the day he was having. It was also hard for him to communicate because it took people a while to understand what he was saying. He had a speech impediment so he kept his sentences short both so it was easier for him and easier for everyone else to try and understand him.

"Hmm, cheese sandwich please."

The answer was predictable but (Y/n) knew she had to ask him anyway. There were only a few options Elliot would actually eat and a cheese sandwich was what he mainly ate for dinner nearly every day.

"Okay honey, could you just find me your plate please?"

As much as (Y/n) was trying to get her bearings in this new home, it was much larger than her old home and there were so many changes. The layout of the kitchen was different, the drawers were different sizes and the cupboards were in different places with different handles. It was becoming a tiny bit easier to try and remember where everything was kept but (Y/n) was still unused to it all.

Plus, Elliot had specific cups and plates that he liked to use, he had one particular plate with his favourite cartoon character on that he always had his sandwiches on. (Y/n) remembered Harry telling her this but she couldn't remember where it was kept and right now she didn't know the feel of the plate so she wouldn't be able to find it anyway.

"Thank you honey, why don't you go and see if Ella wants something?" (Y/n) rested Elliot's plate on the counter in front of her when he passed it to her. But a rush of adrenaline coursed through her stomach suddenly when she felt Elliot gently and cautiously take hold of her hand and sway it between them for a moment before she heard him toddling off out of the kitchen. Something in the back of her mind told her that he had done that as a small gesture that he was there or a sign that he was about to go out of the room.

It didn't take too long for (Y/n) to find the bread and butter, it took a little longer to work out what object in the fridge was cheese but she managed to find it.

"Knives... knives?" (Y/n) mumbled to herself under her breath as she tried to find which drawer held the cutlery so she could cut the cheese and spread the butter but a gasp left her lips in shock when something sliced against her hand.

Pulling her hands to her chest, (Y/n) curled her fingers around her thumb, hissing under her breath before biting her lip when she could feel the blood starting to stick against her fingers and leak between the grooves of her hands. She kept forgetting this was a new home. Sharp knives were normally kept in a box in a cupboard so something like this didn't happen but it seemed too trivial and silly for (Y/n) to ask Harry to do for her.

"Hey love, Elliot said- are you alright?"

Harry could see that his voice made (Y/n) jump, she clearly hadn't been paying attention to the noises around her or she would have heard him approaching. He leaned around her to try and see what was wrong but his lips pursed together when he realised she must have hurt herself since the cutelry drawer was left open.

"Let me see." His voice was gentle and his hands were cautious yet smooth as they reached out and cocooned around hers. He slowly pulled her hands closer to him before he opened them like he was slowly prizing open an oyster shell to see the pearl hidden within.

(Y/n) silently let Harry tug her over to the sink before she shivered at the feeling of the cold stream of water battering against her thumb trying to wash away the blood.

"What does it look like?"

"It's not that bad love, just a small cut-"

"No, I meant the blood... why are some people so scared of it?"

Harry's eyes narrowed as he looked up from (Y/n)'s thumb to look at her enamouring eyes that were now darting up behind her eyelid and back down again rather than going from side to side. She couldn't always control the way her eyes moved and sometimes they didn't move at all, only really when she was nervous or zoning out.

It was normal for (Y/n) to ask Harry things like this, she saw the world in a sheet of darkness, her sense of touch, smell hearing and taste were her eyes and her imagination was like drawing on black paper with black ink. She had never seen anything before so imagining it was almost impossible.

(Y/n) couldn't imagine what her own daughter looked like, she couldn't imagine what Harry looked like or what a microphone was. Something trivial like a carpet or a pebble or even water, they were all things (Y/n) had no idea what they looked like and feeling them was so different to what it really was. She had a few friends who were uneasy around blood, it made them queasy just like the smell of certain foods made (Y/n) want to be sick or faint. But she wondered what was so bad about blood that made people feel that way.

"I... I think it's the thought of it, rather than how it looks. Blood is special, it's meant to be in your body, so when some people see it it's the thought that scares them." Harry knew that a lot of blood from a serious injury was a different thing but for some people, seeing small droplets of blood worried them because of what it could lead to. The thought of blood was worse than what it actually was or looked like.

"Can you describe it to me?"

(Y/n)'s voice was timid and it was so gentle and caring like she was asking Harry something so important yet in such a laid back, loving kind of way.

She could feel her heartbeat starting to increase when she felt Harry smoothing his thumb over her own, brushing away the blood in such a way that (Y/n) could feel butterflies flying underneath the surface of her skin and spilling out with her blood.

"It's thin, everything you hear makes it seem thick like gravy but it's not, it's thinner than water. It looks delicate right now and when it mixes with the water it doesn't really change colour, it just looks... thinner." Over the years he had known (Y/n), Harry had gotten rather good at describing anything (Y/n) asked, even trivial things that he would never think about describing before. Blood was definitely a different, more out of the blue one, but he was sure he had done a good enough job for (Y/n) to come up with some sort of idea or image of it.

(Y/n) didn't know how to respond to his rather beautiful description so she simply squeezed Harry's hand, feeling her heart jumping again when Harry pulled her with him away from the sink. It felt like the atmosphere was changing but (Y/n) didn't want it to. She wanted to stay in this thick, weird but rather intoxicating moment with him.

She relished in the feeling of Harry dabbing at her thumb with a towel, feeling the fluff smoothing against her skin and prickling against her cut skin before it was suddenly replaced with pressure when Harry wrapped a plaster around her thumb.

"All better." Harry didn't think before his next movement, he automatically brought (Y/n)'s hand to his mouth and pressed his lips against her thumb.

Even though the plaster was in the way, (Y/n) could still feel his lips against the pad of her thumb. She could feel the creases and indents in his lower lip that felt like a plush cushion against her skin. His lips were slightly bumpy in places from where he had been biting them out of nervous habit but they were still so delicate and plump. The more he pressed his lips against her thumb, the more tingling sensations (Y/n) felt under her skin and she could feel a touch of saliva when her thumb pressed against the inner parts of his lips. It made her feel like she was touching him intimately, that he was letting her in somewhere that no one else could go.

"Uncle Harry?"

The feeling disappeared. (Y/n) had never felt like something had been ripped away from her so quickly and rudely before now and she missed the feeling of his lips against her skin.

Harry was quick to pull away and spin round on his heels to look down at Ella who was staring up at him with her big blue eyes that were sparkling in the kitchen light. He guessed both his and (Y/n)'s senses had been dulled considering neither of them had heard or felt the presence of the little girl who had snuck up on them.

"What's up, little lady?" Bending down, Harry looked at Ella like she was the only person worth listening to in the world and she could see she had captured his full attention which only made her smile brighter.

"Are you mummy's boyfriend?" The sudden question floored Harry for a few brief moments and he turned to look behind him as if (Y/n) would see his unsure expression and tell him exactly what to say right now.

"Um, yeah he is baby."

"Do I still call you uncle Harry?" There was a surprised tone to Ella's voice but (Y/n) could clearly hear the excitement there which made her breathe in relief. She just had to hear Harry's answer to know if he was okay with her telling the kids this. They seemed to have silently agreed this is what they would tell them but (Y/n) knew Elliot would take it one of two ways, but with how he was following her around it might be a good thing to tell him.

Harry wanted stability for Elliot and this was going to help him with that as well as give Ella more security and stability by having someone her age living with them and having another father figure around, even if it was fake.

"You call me whatever you want, little lady."

[capaimagines]

im jaebeom - underworld

Pairing: mafia leader!Im Jaebeom x Reader | Genre: angst & mafia | Warnings: alludes to sexual assault, fighting, weapons, drugs, blood, swearing | WC: 2.6k

Request: Hi, I'm not too sure if you write them or not but if you do, may I please request a mafia/gang fic? Or if you don't want to do gang maybe just like JB got7 sells drugs or something?? Anyways I'll let you decide but maybe something goes wrong during the mission and they are led to the wrong place and in the mean time they take JB fiance and sexually assault her? Of course you don't have to write in detail. Maybe Mark and Jinyoung come in mid way and lose their shit and you are just limp and weak that you start screaming whenever they touch you but they need to get you to safety. Lots and lots of angst please. I understand if you can't. Thank you!!!

part two

You would consider yourself as an adventurous soul. Ever since you were little you were never one to back down from a fight. You spoke your mind no matter what anyone else said which, when you were younger, got you into a shit load of trouble. So, when you had met Jaebeom at your dingy workplace, which was some dirty ass, barely-lit bar, no one should have been surprised that you had a go at him for being a prick.

He had been rude all night but being a mafia leader to one of the biggest groups in the nation at the moment could stress you out a little. He had snapped at you because the food they had ordered hadn’t been cooked right or something. You had rolled your eyes, not caring if you got fired and snapped right back at him.  

“Feisty,” He commented with a smirk.

Now, had you known at the time who he was and what he did you probably would have dialed it back just a little bit. Then you wouldn’t be where you were now, years later. Engaged to Jaebeom and living a lavish lifestyle. You weren’t that surprised when you found out he was in the mafia and he really hadn’t done much to hide it. It had only enticed you even more.

Let alone the six others that were always by his side always made for good entertainment.  They had all become family to you and like all cliché romances, you had fallen in love with Jaebeom and it only took a year of dating before he proposed to you. You excited him and while your feisty attitude sometimes got on his nerves or came dangerously close to putting you in jeopardy, he loved that you weren’t afraid of him. That you embraced this lifestyle like it had been the only thing you had ever known.

Now, he never wanted to actually put you out on missions but you weren’t having it. You refused to freeload off them and wanted to help wherever you could. Being a housewife, cooking and cleaning had never been something you wanted to do. So, Mark has thankfully shown you how to fight properly. Jackson and Jinyoung had frequently brought you to the shooting range which was located below the mansion. You had a sharp eye and caught on quick and while you were adventurous, you hoped you’d never have to shoot anyone.

Youngjae had shown you a little of hacking skills and all the equipment they used. How to fix things if they broke or were damaged during a mission quickly. Yugyeom and BamBam have taught you better acting skills. You could play the role of whoever they needed you too, lure in whoever was needed without issue. Plus, BamBam loved shopping and so did you so, lots of new clothes and shopping trips. Especially when a new mission came up.

Jaebeom had done his best to keep you quiet. He didn’t need enemies knowing about you because he knew they’d try to harm you to get to him. While he knew you could hold your own, he loved you and he was protective. He never wanted anything to happen to you. Until what was supposed to be just a meeting to discuss terms on some product coming in that went bad.

Then you went missing.

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

You spat blood out of your mouth, wanting to vomit from the iron taste. Just a mere few hours ago you were sitting next to Jaebeom, proudly, while he negotiated terms for some drugs that were smuggled in. You had insisted on going as you had planned on helping Jaebeom run and build this empire up. You never wanted him to change everything just for you. Sure, the danger was high but you didn’t care, you loved him and if this was what he wanted to do, you would stand by him.

You aren’t really sure what happened though. You remembered a loud bang, blinding white lights and then someone hitting the back of your head. You groaned at the memory; that’s probably why the back of your head hurt. You knew something was off when you had first arrived at the meeting. The other goons around the leader were too fidgety, eyes constantly shooting around the room. Your mistake was brushing it off, thinking that Jaebeom would keep you safe. Yet, here you sat, tied up with your throbbing head and a stinging cheek.  

“We can’t kill her yet,” You heard someone say.  

“Well, isn’t that a damn relief,” You scoffed as you rolled your eyes. Whoever was standing next to you kicked you harshly, to which you groaned and bit down your lip to keep quiet. Your mouth always did get you in trouble.

“Once he gets here, you’re all dead anyways. He wouldn’t lose to someone as pathetic as you,” you growled to which you spat at him. You remembered him from the meeting earlier. Here we are again, your mouth getting you into trouble as he punched you across the face. You spat out some more blood, surprised your jaw wasn’t broken yet. You were also surprised at how calm you were. That just showed how much you trusted your fiancé to come to your rescue. He’d never let anything bad happen to you, or so you thought.

Except when the leader got tired of your snarky comments and changed tactics. Instead of physical violence, he gave permission to his goons to do whatever they wanted to you. With you being tied up, you couldn’t fight back. You tried, of course, but without the use of your limbs it didn’t do much. You screamed, you bit them, you tried kicking and headbutting. Though it always ended with them hitting you and doing what they wanted anyways.

You don’t know how long you had been in that room, in that place, but it felt like years. They never opened the blinds so you didn’t see the sun rise or fall. The leader came back a few times, ensuring that JB was well aware where you were and what he wanted in order to send you back. You knew he wouldn’t send you back. JB would come to save you and he’d kill you both.

You felt like an empty shell now. What you had been saving for your wedding night had been taken away without your will. You hated how timid you had become in just a few days. Every noise, every footstep, every breath made you flinch. You tried to be strong, but you were breaking little by little. When you heard the door open and smelled the alcohol you squeezed your eyes shut, willing the vomit to stay down. You knew what was coming, yet you still hadn’t prepared yourself for further damage. 

Again, you tried to fight. You swung your tied legs around wildly, tried biting and headbutting. All it took was one swift kick to your stomach to stop you. Everything hurt and you heard the unbuckling of a belt. You gulped, willing yourself to stay strong. Then you heard a gunshot.  Then another. One after another followed by the sound of screams. Then the door slammed open to where you were.

You squeezed your eyes shut. This was it. Either JB was here to take you home or they were really going to kill you. 

“What the actual fuck?!” You knew that voice. That was Mark.  

“M-Mark,” You said weakly, opening one of your eyes and sure enough there stood Mark and Jinyoung, eyes fuming with rage.  

“You’ve fucked up royally,” Jinyoung said, deadly serious. Before you knew it, the guns were dropped and the two boys had started beating the life out of the two males in the room with you.

You knew they were dead, they were in the room with two of the best fighters you knew of. You also heard a neck crack and another gurgle. Mark and Jinyoung were breathing heavily, blood littering their clothes and their knuckles as well as some splatters on their faces.  

“Y/N,” Mark said, turning to you and reaching to pull your shirt up over your shoulders and push your skirt down before he could untie you. You flinched at the sudden touch, trying to scoot back and immediately felt guilty at the hurt look in his eyes.

It hardened quicker, Mark’s specialty. Not showing his emotions, especially on missions, “I’m just going to untie you, okay?” He said quietly and you nodded. Jinyoung was still fuming but kneeled down to try and help you sit up. He touched your shoulder to help pull you up but you jerked away. 

“J-just d-don’t touch me right now,” You stuttered, “Please,” Your voice was low.

The two boys looked at each other, worried. The once feisty girl that had no problem running into the middle of a gun fight, who was usually the first to throw a punch, who seemed to have no fear of anything except spiders, was afraid of them. Of the people she should trust most, she was afraid of them. Never had they seen her look this weak, this broken. They both exchanged another glance while you pushed yourself up on shaky legs and fixed your clothing.

You walked out, looking for your fiancé. You weren’t okay. Not in the slightest and honestly?  You really didn’t want anyone touching you right now, but you needed to see him, just to know that he was there and that you still had something to fight for. Mark and Jinyoung followed close behind, but made sure they didn’t touch you. You saw JB, in the middle of killing the few remaining men and nodded your head in relief, walking outside to the car where you knew Youngjae was waiting.

JB saw you walk out and went to run after you but Jinyoung stepped in front of him, pushing on his chest and shaking his head, “D-don’t, hyung,” He said quietly and JB raised a brow.  

“Is she okay? Is she hurt?” He had been worried sick for days, not sleeping or eating until he found you. Mark cleared his throat, shaking his head and not meeting JB’s eyes.

“No. No, she’s not.”

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

You were different. Everyone noticed, but JB really noticed. The once confident, feisty woman he had met at the bar all those years ago that wasn’t afraid to run her mouth. The girl that looked down the barrel of his gun all those years ago with a smirk and a laugh wasn’t there anymore.

You were jumpy, timid, hypervigilant. Jaebeom noticed how whenever you went out, even just around the mansion that you had come to call home, you were always on alert. Always checking over your shoulder. Jumping and tensing at every little noise. How the affection you used to show the boys was near non-existent at this point.

The affection you showed him was barely there. He was lucky if you let him hold your hand every now and then or kiss your temple. Everyone had stopped trying to initiate skinship with you. The one time, a few days after they had brought you home and you had managed to get yourself out of bed, Jackson had come up behind you. 

He was excited to see you out of bed and moving around the kitchen. Excited to see that you had showered and were looking more like your normal self. Mark and Jinyoung hadn’t told the others outside of JB what they had walked into that night. At least not at that point. So, Jackson, without knowing, wrapped his arms around your waist and nuzzled himself into your shoulder.

You panicked, your elbow came back to his ribs and you flipped him on his back on the tiled ground. While his breath was knocked out of him he was more in shock than anything else.  Mark had been in the kitchen at that time too and he wasn’t as shocked, but more surprised. It was enough to tell him that it wasn’t the only time that had happened when they walked in on it.

They all sat down and had a meeting. Jinyoung and Mark explained what had happened when they did walk into the room that night. What was happening. How terrified, scared and vulnerable you looked. How, even though you could barely walk yourself, you would not let them touch you, let them help you.

You hadn’t spoken to anyone about what had happened while you were in captivity. You didn’t want to or need to. You didn’t want them to pity you and you didn’t want them to view you as a weak little girl that couldn’t defend herself. So, you did what you had to do and you bottled it up.  Tried to go on as if things were normal, as if you weren’t disgusted with yourself, but the boys knew you better than you knew yourself, they weren’t dumb.

They could see right through you.  JB could see right through you. He didn’t get down on one knee and ask you to marry him if he wouldn’t be able to know when you weren’t okay. While he wanted nothing more than for you to just talk to him, to let him in and let him help, he knew you didn’t want his pity.

He stood in the doorway of your shared bedroom, watching you. He’d been here for at least fifteen minutes just watching you and if you noticed, you hadn’t said anything. He leaned against the door frame, eyes trailing over you. On the outside, you looked okay, but he knew inside, you were in turmoil. He wanted nothing more than to take that turmoil away for you. To bear it all himself.

“What is it, Jaebeom?” You sighed, turning to face him.  

He straightened up, brown orbs meetings yours, but you instantly looked away. You’ve never looked away from him, “I want you to talk to me about that night,  about those days locked up there.”  

You groaned, sitting on the edge of the bed and burying your face in your hands. He had asked you this every night since you had gotten back, “Nothing, Jaebeom. Nothing at all.” You said, no trace of emotion in your voice.

He sat down next to you and you tensed. He felt his heart break; you were afraid. Afraid of him.

“Are you afraid of me?” He murmured, not making eye contact. You, however, looked at him with wide eyes. Did he really think you were afraid of him? Were you? You shook your head, you knew he would never hurt you. Never do anything to purposely put you in danger. You did that enough on your own.

“I could never be afraid of you, Jae.” You mumbled back in response as you reached for his hand but hesitating along the way. He grabbed yours, heart breaking more as you tensed but then he felt a little glimmer of hope as you slowly relaxed and weakly squeezed his hand a little tighter.  

“I just don’t want to talk about it Jae. I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want- I don’t want you to see me as weak and vulnerable,” You sucked in your bottom lip, feeling the familiar burn of tears in your eyes.

“I would never think that about you. You’re the strongest woman I know, Y/N. I love you and nothing is going to change that. Ever,” You squeezed his hand a little tighter, eyes trained on the floor.  

“I love you too, Jae. More than you can imagine,” You took a breath, your glossy eyes turning to meet his, “But I don’t know if I will ever be the same again.”

[bangbangchanie]

NCT 127: Soulmate au Senarios

Hey so we’re back!! Admin Whinnie here we’ll be The tiktok soulmate trend really got to me lol, decied to drive in deep and do all 23 memebers!! So keep and eyes out for NCT Dream, WayV and a NCT U verision for the two newest memebers!! 

Taeil:

“내 목숨보다 소중한 그댈 보내지 못해” Your voice sang, making a smile curl up on his face, the image of you singing along to his voice as you got ready for your date. The idea of you, harmonizing with him nodding his head as he starts to sing back, making you giggle half way through.

“Hyung you’re missing lines.” Doyoung chuckled, making Taeil stop as he smiled at him, making Doyoung raise an eyebrow as he chuckled.

“She's singing my song...so I decided to sing with her.” His words had Doyoung's smile drop, fascination spreading through his eyes as he stared at him. “I love singing with her like this, I can hear her laugh as she sings, it..it gets me through this. Sometimes when we’re on tour I’ll hear her scream back at your guys parts but she's always quiet during mine.” He shakes his head as he adjusts his top waiting for your message that you were ready to be picked up.

“Why's that?”

“Cause she says my voice is her favorite, and it's the only part of the song she can hear when we’re on tour.” He laughs as Doyoung follows.

“I can’t wait to meet mine..I don't hear them very often so I wonder what it's like.”

“It's like...like magic..that's the best way to explain it.”

Johnny:

“Hey,hey, hey you you I don't like your girlfriend…” A voice rang out in Johnny's  head, making a smile spread across his face, he couldn’t help but chuckle as your voice rang through his head. The idea of you jamming out in your shared bedroom had his cheek turning red as he looked to see Mark and Ten staring at him. “No way no way, I think you need a new one!”

Your off tone pitch made him shut his eyes as he let out a laugh making Marks eyes widen as he looked at the older.

“She is absolutely horrible.” His laughter made Ten and Mark follow as Marks hand slams onto the table they were sitting at. Their laughter had Johnny's eyes snapping as he huffed at the two and glared playfully.“Only I can laugh at her and her singing… her horrible singing. God I love her.”

Taeyong:

“We're the new heroes!”  Was shouted in his head, followed by a crackled cough making his eyes widen as he blinks rapidly. The sweat dripped down his face as he looked at the makeup artist who was dobbing the sweat off of his skin as Ten performed his stage.

“They're here” He whispers, making them stop as he sees Kia stop and turn his head over to him. “They're singing Tens song. They’re singing Ten songs..they're screaming. They're here.”

“Tae..thousands of people are here.” Kia sadly sighed making Tayong let out a huff as he felt tears gother up in the condor of his eyes.

“My soulmate is in this building, I can hear them. But I..no I have..” He felt a hand on his shoulder making him look to see Taemin, a small smile on the olders faces as he squeezed Tayongs shoulder. ”Hyung they're here, I could..I could see them..hold them tonight.”

“I know.” Tamin said as Tayong felt something press under his eyes, they were whipping his tears away. Cause even though you were in the building, there was no way he could get to you.

Jaehyun:

“Now suddenly you're asking for it back. Could you tell me, where'd you get the nerve?” The sound of your voice entered his mind as his eyes opened, staring at wall, the sound was full of pain. The cracks in your voice had his heart hurting, as his hand ran through his hair. His mind rushing with a lot of scenarios, but one, one kept playing over and over.

Someone hurt you. Someone took your heart, your love and threw it in your face.

It made anger rush through his chest as he sat up and took a deep breath, hand grabbing his phone as he looked through his music app.

“Took a while, I was in denial when I first heard. That you moved on quicker than I could've ever, you know that hurt.” He heard a sob making his heart lurch, pain spreading through him as he dropped his phone. God did he wish he could just hold you, wipe your tears, kiss the top of your head. Promise he would never let go. Never break your heart. Never leave you. And how he’d work to prove that to you. So he went over to his piano, sat down, and started to play a song that he can’t wait to sing to you in person.

“I'm so in love with you And I hope you know Darling, your love is more than worth its weight in gold”

Doyoung:

Doyoung sat there, his eyes closed as he nervously stared at the camera in front of him, comments began scrolling rapidly as the staff behind him nodd. Encouraging him to sing the song he planned to cover during this live. He rolled his lip between the teeth as he smiled brightly at the screen.

“Um so I’ve been wanting to cover a song for a while now..one that means a lot to me and probably a lot of you..I hope you guys like it.”He paused as he started to play the keys, his eyes closing as he took a deep breath and let the song pass his lips. “How can you miss someone you've never met? 'Cause I need you now but I don't know you yet ,But can you find me soon because I'm in my head? Yeah, I need you now but I don't know you yet.” he let out a breath as he continued, hearing you slowly hum the song back, making his eyes water as he looked at the screen and smiled. The next verse finished in his head making him pause as he let out airy chuckle as he looked to the live. The comments went crazy, especially as he kept playing the song but missed the last verse. One sticking out.

His soulmates finishing the song for him, has to be, he nodded slowly as he listened to your voice.

“Yeah, lately it's been hard,They're sellin' me for parts,And I don't wanna be modern art,But I only got half a heart to give to you,And I hope it's enough.”

“I need you now but I don't know you yet.”

Yuta:

His eyes stare up at the moon, standing outside in the balcony of yet another hotel room as he felt tears gother in his eyes. Four mouths, without you near him factimes and long distance calls though he misses your touch most of all. The feeling of the burn that ran around the ring of his eyes had him sniffling as he looked down at his hands when he heard your voice. “'Cause I never knew, I never knew,You could hold moonlight in your hands 'Til the night I held you You are my moonlight,Moonlight.” He felt his hand slightly shake as he let out a chuckle, that stupid Ariana Grande song that you sang every day since he met you. “I kiss his fingertips,As I'm wishing he's all mine.” He let out a breath as he closed his eyes and rested his head against the brick wall.

“Baby, I be fallin',You're my moonlight, Moonlight.” he paused as he heard you chuckle , he imagined you smiling brightly up at your bedroom ceiling. Or staring at your phone waiting for a call. Waiting for him. So he did just that.

“Hey moonlight, I missed you.” Your voice traveled quickly to his ear as he saw a static version of you on his screen. In one of his sweaters, probably sitting at your desk, getting ready to do an online class.

“I miss you too.”

“I was trying to sing you to sleep but I guess it just kept you awake instead.”

“I like this better anyway.”

Jungwoo:

“ Baby 네게 반해버린 내게 왜 이래 두렵다고 물러서지 말고 그냥 내게 맡겨봐라 어때 my lady.”Jungwoo's eyes suddenly widened as he looked up from his food, his mouth stopping mid chew as he let out a whine. Jaehyung let out a snort as he watched the younger struggle once again.“Ring ding dong, ring ding dongRing diggy ding diggy ding ding ding”

“Im literally gonna kill her, this is the fifth time today she sang this song.” Jungwoo let out dropping his chop stick with a frustrated breath. “Why can't she get one of our songs stuck in her head, like I can block that out easily but no she does this. I'm gonna kill her when I meet her.” He let out as Jaehyung's eyes stayed wide , watching as they usually claimed Jungwoo lost it. “I mean I'll squish her in a hug, but this come on”

“Jungwoo..ring ding dong, ring di-hey that was the last dumpling!”

Mark:

Mark eyes trail across the thousands of green light sticks, the sea of fans had his heart beating out of his chest. Some faces were caught with the right lighting but there truly was only one face he wanted to see and that was yours. He wanted to hear your voice. But he knew he had to wait. Wait till he was back in his hotel room, so the two of you could sing together  as he laid in bed eating his meal while you were at home doing school work. So far away, yet your connection brings you close together. Closer than he ever thought you could be.”I just want you to knowThat I really, really think you're something special Wanna try hard to show Make it sweet, sweet, sweet wherever we go.” He heard right as they did their final bow, making him smile as he started to hum to tone back to you. Wanting to wait to sing your song aloud when he was alone in the room since Yuta ws going to do a vlive with Johnny tonight. He couldn't wait to sing for you.

“Just to have you baby, by my side Love would be the only rule You're gonna see, baby, how hard I can try None will ever do so well Like a load of farming, fairy tale.” He sang back as he was changing, it was softly a whisper tone, but Hechan had caught it, a teasing smile on his face as Mark tried to shake his head but Hechans teasing had already slipped past his lips.

“Someone in loveeee.”

“Shut up you idiot.”

Heachan:

Taking a deep breath in, you rub your eyes, the memory of the heated argument you had with your boyfriend, your soulmate Donghuck made your chest ache. The words he had said to you had cut you deep, had made you question if the universe really did make a mistake parking the two of you. You know he didn't mean the words, at least not fully. His face had etched itself into your mind the way it changed when he realized what he had said. The way you had taken a step back, arms curling around you as you let out a soft whine when he reached for you. Rushing away from the practice room you had bothered him in.

“And I know there's no making this right, this right And I know there's no changing your mind, your mind. But we both found each other tonight, tonight.” His voice rings through your head making you pout as you feel tears build up in the corner of your eyes, the heels of your hands push up against your eyes as you slowly snag along with his voice.

“If love is nothing more than just a waste of your time..then waste it on me waste it on me.” You whispered, your eyes closing as you heard his voice trail off then a knock on your apartment door had you sitting up and rushing to open it. There he stood, eyes staring down at you as he pulled you into a hug.

“I love you.”

[gwoongi]

best years

jeon jeongguk / reader genre: best friend au, bff-to-lovers au, fluff, angst, guk is pining rating: general words: 2.6k warnings: its a short little fic, sort of like one chunk of a big chocolate bar and im gonna slowly feed u one chunk at a time until you’re sick and full a/n: a squint into the mind of bff jeongguk who will star in an eventual “idol best friend” series that i routinely dream about but have always felt it disrespectful to write about but at the end of the day everything i write is fiction and jeongguk would probably be less offended by a “canon divergence bff au” than he would reading my drug addicted rockstar au so :-) read it & weep folks

Jeongguk’s always been scared of the rejection he might receive from you. He might be a dream for fans across the world, but there’s a split second where Jeongguk feels like he might not be good enough for you. He’s the world to other people. But you deserve the whole galaxy, and he’s afraid that’s something that he might not ever be, even with the money, and the fame, and the doubts he tries to hide.

Jeongguk was taking a pretty big risk, he knew that. It was risky taking any step out of his house at any moment, even on the days where it was pouring outside; he’d think he was safe until he made it to the end of the road, earphones snug in his ears, and the flash of a camera behind the shrubs in the corner of his eye blinds him back to his front door in a twisted shame. 

Granted, he’d expected it to be worse as he booked a plane ticket and made a rather hasty, in-the-moment journey to the airport and on a plane with no layover. Usually when Jeongguk takes a journey overseas, there’s at least one or two fans hiding in the corner of the suites waiting for him, or someone on the plane who’d recognise his face. For this, he’d suck it up and take a photo. It was better to have good PR, and be a little bit pissed off that he’d been discovered, than to have bad PR and to be known as the member of BTS who didn’t give a damn when the ‘real’ reasons for travel were taken away.

But Jeongguk thought the risk was worth it this time. The plane touched down in Manchester, and from there, it was an hour long train journey to a station he didn’t know anything about to meet a friend of yours he’d only seen in Instagram pictures. You were at University now, a face he saw on a screen rather than a face he quite literally woke up next to months before. It had been four months since Jeongguk had seen his true best friend, and fuck anybody who was going to make him wait a second longer before seeing you again.

You were his greatest risk, but it was worth it. You were worth it.

“Fuck, it’s insane to actually be meeting you right now.” Frank is a good guy, ginger with circle glasses rested on the end of his roundish nose. He led Jeongguk out of the train station, offering to pull his suitcase for him. “I mean, I’m a huge fan.” Followed by a sigh and a quiet, “Who isn’t…?”

Jeongguk smiled at him, squinting in the sun as it hit his eyes in the direction of Frank’s face. “Thanks. I hear a lot about you, too.”

Frank grinned, whipping his head towards Jeongguk. “All sexy and scandalous things, I hope. You know, none of us believed Y/N when she said she knew you. We thought the pictures were Photoshopped, you know how she is.” They both paused by the side of the road going one way only, “Shit, she’s gonna freak out when she sees you.”

That was three minutes ago, but Jeongguk’s still playing that sentence on a loop. He walks alongside Frank down one of the streets, past a redundant furniture store that quirks his brows. A man stands in the doorway, a cigarette out of his mouth and ash dropping to his toes bare in sandals. It smells like doughnuts, and weed, and he smiles brightly. He’s missed the UK, and how unbelievably shockingly awful it is when you’re not looking at picturesque photos of London online.

“I thought you’d know that Y/N’s my best friend,” Jeongguk says thoughtfully. He pauses as Frank does as a car zooms past when they’re about to cross. “I mean, people know. The photos got leaked, all of them.”

“Hey, give me a break,” Frank says dramatically. “I only became a fan three months ago. And yeah, I figured. Finally, I understood why all the white girls studying Korean here wanted photographs with her and to be her best friend…”

Jeongguk frowns. “Is it bad? She doesn’t tell me this stuff on the phone. I mean, they go crazy on Twitter when she posts pictures and we interact, but I didn’t…”

Frank shakes his head and grins at Jeongguk until the words die out. “Nah, don’t panic. It’s not that bad. If anything, she might get a kick out of the fame. Trust, there’s always gonna be the girls who hate her because she’s friends with you and that’s like, what, threatening to their fantasy? But she loves you a lot, and a friendship like yours...it’s kinda like family, you know?”

Jeongguk feels his stomach flip, kind of like butterflies. These butterflies are sour, his heart racing that extra bit quicker. He likes the sound of family. He doesn’t like the way Frank implies it, because if Jeongguk is ever going to consider you as family, it won’t be as his sister. You’ve never been his sister, even when you were part of his family growing up. There were times you came to all of his Korean family events, the times his family called you their own, but you were never his sister. It was different to that, you both knew it but never acknowledged it.

Frank makes small talk until they make it to the student accomodation you currently live at, and because Frank knows basically everybody, a student comes to the gate to let them both in. They’re nice, big and pretty-skinned, wearing an Aston Villa shirt that Jeongguk remembers looks a lot like your Dad’s back in the day. Might be the same, might be a vintage.

He smiles at him, because maybe this guy knows Jeongguk, but the guy just turns back into the common room and doesn’t come out again. Frank doesn’t live here, he lives in a flat of his own around the corner, but Frank might as well be a resident here. He lets himself in towards the lift and shoots a text to one of your flatmates.

“Apparently she’s in the shower,” Frank says casually. He locks his phone, taps his foot as the lift rises, “Let’s hope she doesn’t stride out completely stark naked as you’re in there.”

He almost blushes, “Ha, yeah.” He declines to mention the times you two have showered together, the time you went skinny dipping together when you were fifteen. Those were things that might end up getting misunderstood, and those are his memories he’d like to keep hidden and secret. He says nothing, nothing but a thank you when he enters your flat with Frank and takes a different turn to the left as Frank goes right, towards the kitchen.

Your room is at the very end, your name on the door in stickers from a set you got from the 99p store, and from inside, he hears the music in the bathroom. The door opens silently and closes with the same volume, and Jeongguk manages to wheel his suitcase to the end of the bed and plonks himself down. As expected from pixels on the screen, your room looks better in person- white walls and a bed set that’s white with a peony pattern. Above your desk, Jeongguk recognises all your photos together, new polaroids of you and the friends you’ve made at University who Jeongguk always felt kind of threatened by. He smiles to himself, and rests his neck at a strange angle against the wall your bed is literally attached to. From here, he can see the bathroom door in the mirror on the opposite wall, but he knows you’ll only see his feet when you come out.

Speaking of which; the Fleetwood Mac song ends suddenly and the shower water has stopped running. Jeongguk hears the toilet flush and his heart starts to race. Four months of falling asleep on Facetime and texting when there was no time left in the day, and now, here he is, on your bed, waiting for you to step out and...and, then what?

Maybe you didn’t even want him here. Maybe you were happier now that Jeongguk was in Korea and you were still at home, in a new city with new friends and a new life. Maybe the memory of Jeongguk was burdensome. Worse, maybe he was something you felt you had to remember but didn’t really want to.

Jeongguk’s always been scared of the rejection he might receive from you. He might be a dream for fans across the world, but there’s a split second where Jeongguk feels like he might not be good enough for you. He’s the world to other people. But you deserve the whole galaxy, and he’s afraid that’s something that he might not ever be, even with the money, and the fame, and the doubts he tries to hide.

The bathroom door opens and in two seconds, the light is shut off and he hears you sigh.

“Frank, you gotta stop letting yourself in here without telling me,” your voice says. “Good thing I’m semi-decent. Usually I’m not.”

“No fun,” Jeongguk teases, and silence follows. There’s a pause in the room, and Jeongguk cocks his head with his left cheek on his shoulder, waiting for you to click and appear in front of him. Suddenly, there’s small but quick thuds across the carpet and Jeongguk feels his chest tighten with a nostalgic feeling as you come into view with wide eyes, damp hair and nothing but a bra and those stupid black worn leggings you refuse to throw out.

The grin that reaches Jeongguk’s eyes now aches as he laughs at you, at the way you gape in his presence. It takes a moment, a moment of what feels like could be the rejection that Jeongguk absolutely fears, but then you smile so wide that Jeongguk feels it in his stomach.

“Holy shit!” you exclaim loudly, bringing a hand to your mouth as you hurry towards the bed. It dips beneath your knees and Jeongguk rises up to a sitting position. “What the fuck!”

He laughs out loud, and when you’re next to nothing away, Jeongguk wastes zero time in bringing you into his arms, tightly hugging you.

“Careful, my hair’s all wet,” you squeak.

“Don’t care.”

He really doesn’t. There’s probably going to be a damp spot on his clothes after, but that’s okay. You groan loudly with happiness as you hug him in return as tightly as he is hugging you, your weight on his lap and your arms around his neck. Jeongguk smiles so wide, sighing with content into your neck. Here, he smells the marshmallow wash on your skin, the fragrance of your hair that kind of reminds Jeongguk of cabbage patch babies.

“You smell good,” he mutters. You laugh quietly, squirming when his nose sniffs across your neck like one would kiss. “I don’t.”

“You do, you always smell good,” you reply. One sniff, he laughs, “See!”

“Mmm,” he plays along, “the sweet smell of planes and trains and jetlag.”

That makes you laugh, and at the mention of jetlag, Jeongguk realises he could probably fall asleep like this given the chance. He has missed this, missed you, so fucking much. The emotions are overwhelming. 

Jeongguk kisses behind your earlobe, and just underneath your jaw. That’s new. Jeongguk was a cheek-kiss kind of best friend, but never this. You’re not complaining. Your head drops to one side, almost giving him more access to the space free, and he occupies it. Those fucking butterflies; Jeongguk feels sick with nerves as he kisses you, under your chin and across your neck, on that spot on your collarbone you found out tickled after Seven Minutes in Heaven in Year 8. Maybe your fingernails in his hair are a way of you telling him to stop- it’s something he can think about tonight if he can’t fall asleep, something he doesn’t care to think about when he kisses on your actual jawline, to your cheek and the corner of your mouth, your cupid's bow.

He moves away with a blush that matches your own, but maybe you can’t see his in the colour of your fairy lights. He plays with the confusion as he moves the hair that's across your face around your ears, smiling and raising his eyebrows. Jeongguk convinces the role of casual to perfection and bites back a sour taste when he notices you’re the same. Casual, unmoved, maybe even like it didn’t mean a thing.

“Your hair is so fucking wet,” he sniggers boyishly.

“I told you,” you shrug. You shrink, relaxed, “Fuck, Guk, why are you here? I mean, I’m literally so happy, but...Are you gonna get in trouble for this?”

“I dunno,” he admits. “Maybe, probably. I mean...the guys know I’m here. Hoseok drove me to the airport with Jimin.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

Jeongguk sighs loudly. “Yeah, I know. Frank told me all about the girls.”

“Little fucker. Is he here? I’ll punch him for mentioning it to you. It’s honestly fine. Girls will be girls.”

“You’re my best friend for life, it’s important to me that you’re not uncomfortable by it-”

“I’m not,” you assure him, hands trapped in his hair. “Damn, this got long. Didn’t look long over the phone.”

“Was growing it out,” Jeongguk replies. “Heard you fancied Keanu Reeves, couldn’t handle the competition.”

“Ha!” you retort. “Simp.”

“For you,” frowns Jeongguk dramatically.

Conversation fizzles comfortably, to the point where you both forget that Jeongguk’s underneath you and your legs are wrapped like a koala around his middle. The fact that this is normality for you both is ignored. You’ve done worse things together. Jeongguk even knows that the bra you’re wearing now is one he bought for you. That could be why Jeongguk feels the way that he does, why this confusion wraps around his body and traps him. Jeongguk knows that the butterflies in his stomach don’t just appear because you’re his best friend he hasn’t seen in a while. He knows what they mean when they flutter when your name pops up when you’re calling him, when an interviewer tries to catch him out by bringing you up in another interview that you don’t need to be mentioned in.

Jeongguk knows that coming here was worth the confusion, and the nerves, and the fact that this will be a headline when it gets out. JEON JUNGKOOK GOES TO UK TO VISIT HIS BEST FRIEND...BUT ARE THEY MORE? Or worse, NETIZENS HAVE PROOF THAT BTS JUNGKOOK IS DATING HIS BEST FRIEND Y/N…

He doesn’t want to hurt you. That’s how he feels scared. For you to be scandalised by an article online that caught him out in his feelings, he knew it wasn’t fair. Jeongguk might be too afraid to say he’s in love, and too afraid to find out if you feel it too, but he’d risk those feelings and the headlines if it meant spending one more day with you.

Jeongguk’s got a week and a half with you. Something’s gotta give within this week. He doesn’t want to go back to Korea with more regrets than he came with, and for now, he’ll just have to swallow those butterflies back down when they pour out of his mouth. Right now, he can’t afford to be caught out. It has to be known on his own terms, when the timing is perfect. It has to be perfect, because it’s what you deserve. It has to be perfect, because if it isn’t, then Jeongguk doesn’t think it will be worth it.

Losing you to a headline and a butterfly is out of the question. One tries to escape when you hop off him and shrug on a jumper from out of your wardrobe. If you noticed his unease you didn’t mention it. He wants to cry, wants the confusion to go away for the night so he can enjoy it.

Fuck.

For now, he thinks as he follows you with an arm around your shoulders out of your bedroom and towards the kitchen to meet the others, he’ll just have to fake it til he makes it. Just like always. Put on a face, put on a show, until it all feels worth the spillage. He can’t let the butterflies escape yet.

It has to be perfect, and he’ll have to be patient.