#this post is... so long.... im sorry to everyone in the tag
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Just saw this shorts about military callsign.
(i got this post from google so idk the post link sorry)
So.. im gonna come up with some HC about Taskforce 141 callsign
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Soap
He got his name because of his accuracy in room clearance and urban warfare.
Or at least that's what he told people when they asked.
When actually- he got that nickname because that one time in communal shower, he purposefully dropped his soap to make the 'oh no i dropped my soap' joke- only to accidentally slip on it and fall so hard that he bleed everywhere.
You know that scar on his chin?
Yeah, it's from that.
Gaz
It's just short for Garrick- he said.
But also
Big fart.
Yeah, that's it.
One time during an important briefing in a hideout (a quite small place with low air flow) he let out the most disgusting wet fart. And everyone had to just endure it, coz the area outside was monitored by enemies.
Idk, the mre he ate spoiled or smtn
Ghost
Now, his name sounded badass, and from his appearance alone, it makes sense.
It is due to his exceptional covert prowess. The name encapsulates his stealthy demeanor and enigmatic presence.
Sounds cool, right?
Well.. it's not wrong-, he got it because he had a habit of using the toilet in the dark, and didn't even bother to lock it. (I actually do this)
Some recruit walked in, only to see his massive silhouette, sitting on the toilet, staring back at him as a small splash of water was heard when his massive shit got out.
poor fella scream bloody murder as they ran, thinking that he's some kind of ghost that haunted the base toilet. (And yes, similiar thing happened to me once, its a long story)
Price
...
Well- that's just his name so-
Ironically however..
He had a habit of not taking the price tag off of anything, and would shamelessly walk around in his shiny new boots with the tag dangling.
I may return it and ask for a refund someday, who knows - he shrugged. That boots is 3 years old now, the ink on the price tag is fading
Should i do one with Kortac
#call of duty#cod 141#task force 141#tf 141#cod#headcanon#cod hcs#captain price#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick
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I posted the first chapter to my omega-verse poolverine where the Time Ripper gives Wade a/b/o characteristics bc Logan had them in his universe and they both freak out about it.
Thank you to everyone who encouraged me to write this! (Sorry for the long tag list at the end haha)
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Tag list! I hope I got everyone :)
@hey-im-always-sleeping @trickstergabriel69 @ollie-ollie-ox @asgardiansofthegalaxyvol3 @umbrulla @whiskeyandcigarsmoke @arreat @bottombobbysinger @thisiswhatwedointheshadows @nerdy-olly-222 @dis-plus-fanfic-reblog-writes @amethyst-loves-bucky @ihadtologinforthis @oatmilk-vampire @raventhebard @cheyenneisarose @curupia @leviatha-let-it-be-so @dnddykes @lordhavemercyyyyy @otaku-tyriq @greep215 @mischievous-thunder @trickstergabriel69 @resident-idiot-simp @chiefblossom @k1ng-r0wan @grabrandomkitties @butcherlarry @goosepool @hondafuckingodyssey @gossippool @interabangs @poolverine4ever @ghostlyeggtart @lukeqatwalker @sundazetales @the-writerwoman
#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#poolverine fics#character study#my writing#wolverine#deadclaws#omegaverse
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Life Series X The Normal Album
#sorry for the long post tumbr is not letting me add a continue reading thing#traffic smp#life series smp#will wood#this is an art challenge (1 drawing a day type) ive been doing this october its been fun#however this is the only album ive fully completed and am planning to#so im not sure if ill post the others#my art#uh do i tag everyone#grian#bigbst4tz2#gtws#pearlescentmoon#scott smajor#zombiecleo#martyn itlw#joel smallishbeans#lizzie ldshadowlady#jimmy solidarity#solidaritygaming
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GUYS. IM FINALLY MAKING THE DBHC MASTERPOST HAPPEN IM FINALLY DOING IT IāM MAKING IT HAPPEN RAAA
Iām making a new one so I can format it better so Iāve had to start from scratch but itās finally in the works and almost done
#idk why itās been so hard for me to tackle this task LOL#but itās finally going >:] itāll have all of the updated tags and posts and stuff!!#EXCITED :]#dbhc#FOR EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER ASKED ABOUT IT: BLESS YOU AND IM VERY SORRY IT TOOK THIS LONG
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THE SHERIFF AND GUY OF GISBORNE
uh. try to stay with me for a second. so incest motifs are a huge part of medieval lit. you see it in arthuriana cycles, you see it in romances, it's a whole thing.
Incest and the Medieval Imagination, Elizabeth Archibald
so robin hood. both adaptions and the text itself, tend to get interesting with guy of gisborne. and I will say that while I found the media being discussed in this text absolutely fucking insufferable to watch, the discussion on it was delicious, impeccable, show stopping
Mouvance, Greenwood, and Gender in The Adventures of Robin Hood and Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, Brian J Levy and Lesley Coote
and with regards to discussions on the origin text (which I love and adore forever)
Horseplay: Robin Hood, Guy of Gisborne, and the Neg(oti)ation of the Bestial, Stuart Kane
we're. getting to the point, I promise. guy of gisborne and the sheriff in my own "adaption" are not cousins, but brothers in law (fucked up brothers in law are my thing over on my other blog. brutus and cassius? I'm there. caligula and lepidus? all over that, baby!) because I'm aiming for an adjacent transgression.
on the topic of adjacent transgressions and guy's comment in this comic about cannibalism: there's an overlap in various genres of literature, predominantly in branches of horror and tragedy: between cannibalism and incest. (additionally! a lot of texts will take on christian subtexts and allusions, so there's a bonus homoerotic cannibalism discussion happening wrt communion that I'll get into in the future) it's about. chomping. the teeth, you know.
Managing Monsters, Marina Warner
Statius and Virgil: The Thebaid and the Reinterpretation of the Aeneid,Ā RandallĀ T. Ganiban
there's a 100% chance I will revise the sheriff's design at some point, but I wanted to draw the flowers exploding out of the spine so bad
AND FINALLY, the neck focus on guy is half due to his fate in his origin tale (beheaded) and half my own invention: I girl-with-a-green-ribboned him. a little narrative necromancy, if you will.
#long post#outlaws in the woods tag#im sorry for how long this is and also bc its 2am but also i am not sorry. i love medieval literature and horror#the sheriff wants to crawl inside guy's ribcage and eat his lungs#he is. interestingly enough. horrified at what everyone else does to guy's body#its about possession. obsession. who else has the right to eat you etc#im going to go folk catholicism forced sainthood on guy and every second of it is going to be awful for him#i will do narrative necromancy but i will adhere to the rules of the setting and the setting is TERRIBLE#i love it! sorry guy of gisborne.#anyway you guys ever watch showtime's borgias. favorite show. so. so uh. you know that one scene. the---
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im not fucking around anymore. here's the full "Paul is Care" essay i've been working on:
āAlright. So there's uh, nothing out here, as far as I've seen. But actually, I think there is something out here. I just haven't seen it yet.ā
In Petscop, the story is told between the lines. When you feel like you have a grasp on it, a single colour or date throws off everything youāve built up. Thatās why I like to look at Petscop in another way; not as a series of events, but an exploration of a single character: Paul.
Some people like to map everything out in a single timeline; when did Care go missing, when did the family get the game, when did Lina and Mike die. I think that every interpretation of Petscop has its own value, because Petscop means something different to everyone who watches it. But, when I look at Petscop, I donāt just see a series of events wrapped up in the mystery of Careās disappearance. I see a video game used as a device to explore and understand the connection between the past and the present. I see the ways in which Paul Leskowitz is Carrie Mark.
I know that to some that notion might seem crazy; the broader discussion of Petscop is different to the niche ones held by crazy people in the tags of a Tumblr post . Obviously, this theory is personally significant and I hold it very near and dear to my heart. But, I want to share this theory in a way that makes sense to the general audience of Petscop because I genuinely believe you guys are missing out! So, keep an open mind and enter my Petscop mind-palaceā¦
ā...were signs along the way. Um, that I ignored. Because it would have been a completely ridiculous idea to me. Um. But when I found my room, it made, uh, well, I was shocked at first, but it made sense, especially considering where I found the game in the first place, um, that it would be tied, in some way, to me through you. Um. And I'm trying to think, when was the last time I saw any of you at all? It had to have been in like, 1999. I was a kid, I was a small kid. Tiny kid. Um. And after that, just, you know. But, it would make sense in the timeline.ā (Petscop 11)
A lot of Petscop theories surround the actual textual proof found in the videos, so thatās where Iāll start. Thereās many instances where Paul makes the connection between himself and Care, but one moment continues to stick with me. In Petscop 11, Paul finally enters the house and takes a look around. Heās on the phone with someone, presumably Belle. Paul goes up to the calendars and starts talking about Care, āYeah, on that topic... I don't remember meeting this girl at all. Um, I don't remember knowing her at any point (ā¦) Um, and I remember you saying that we were, that we, we are, um, exactly the same age.ā (Petscop 11). He points out that he and Care share the same birthday, down to the year. We get further confirmation of this in Petscop 14, when Paulās conversation with Jill that he had on his own birthday is superimposed onto Careās. The next part though, is what really gets the theory started, āI do agree there's a resemblance. Um. Very strong resemblance between us.ā (Petscop 11).
Faces are incredibly important in Petscop. Marvin thought Care and Mike could be rebirthed into Lina because they had similar features, and Care had to be given Mikeās eyebrows specifically to change her room. So, for Paul and Care to have such similar facial features that someone else pointed out the resemblance is significant.
They also happen to share the name āLeskowitzā, which is both Anna and Linaās last name. We know this because his Reddit account is āp_leskowitzā.
If heās a Leskowitz, then that explains his complicated feelings towards āthe familyā. āThe familyā is a foreboding presence throughout Petscop. Their meddling isnāt outright malicious, but even Paul admits that heās intimidated by them. And it makes sense, as āthe familyā (comprised of Anna and Jill) each have a major role in the core mystery of Petscop. Anna is the mother of Care and the wife of Marvin, while Jill is Marvinās sister and the mother of both Rainer and Mike. To be a Leskowitz, Paul would need to be blood related to Anna or Lina in some way. Paul shows that he has this relation to the family in Petscop 22, when heās talking to Belle about finding the windmill, āAnd, I don't th- and you don't have to worry about it, right, 'cause... 'cause you aren't, you aren't family, so you wouldn't... have a room, that's the thing.ā (Petscop 22). In this context, Paul is asking Belle whether Jill has contacted her. When he tells her she doesnāt have a room, this is in reference to the Child Library explored in Petscop 3 and 7. This means that in order to be part of the Leskowitz-Mark family (and in our case, related to Care), you have to have a room in the Child Library, something both Paul and Care possess.
Paul being related to the family is also supported by his casual mention of meeting Rainer as a child, āāRainerā... I saw him at a birthday party once. All the older kids were down in the basement playing video games, to hide from everyone. He was down there, too. He was older than the rest of them, though.ā (Petscop 11), and his confusion of not knowing Care, with the implication that if she was real, he would have met her through the family.
A rarely discussed aspect of Paulās character is that he canāt tell his left from his right. When heās doing the disc puzzle in Anna and Marvinās room is Petscop 11, āUm, we can see what the room looks like in that recording, um, on the uh, right? ... Left? Left? Right ... side.ā (Petscop 14) and before he even enters the house, āAnd, I mean, I still get confused about that. Because, I mean, well, I know it's always the top, but, um, I still have to think. I have to think.ā (Petscop 11), we can clearly see that he has trouble with directions. In a similar fashion, Care is described as ādizzyā, most notably in the end credits of Petscop. She is also described as blind by Rainer in Petscop 17, āYou were blind. At some point, your movements stopped making sense.ā (Petscop 17). In the counsellorās office, the counsellor says to Paul, āAre you right handed, or left handed? You don't know? Really?ā (Petscop 22). Iāll get more into it later, but this sequence is presumably a real conversation that the game is recreating. If this scene is taken from Careās real childhood, then it confirms that she also had problems with her lefts and rights.
Now, this is the base level of the theory. Itās easy to figure out that Paul is a Leskowitz, he literally calls them āthe familyā. And while I think the bits about faces and birthdays and directions are significant to this theory, I wanted to get all of the textual evidence out of the way so that I could get into the fun part of this essay: the subtext.
āSome things you can't rewrite.ā (Petscop 14)
Petscop is nothing if not a collection of symbols and metaphors. Ask me what Petscop is all about on any given day and thereās a non-zero chance I will start explaining why the car is orange. While it is necessary to analyse Petscop as a real series of events, I think that another approach can be taken; what if we analysed Petscop as a series of events that are happening to Paul specifically? That the game is creating meaning by placing Paul specifically in these snippets of the past. By looking at each moment as āWhy did the game make Paul do this?ā instead of āWhat is happening in the game?ā, we can see everything through a new lens.
First, I want to discuss colour. Colour plays a huge role in Petscop; almost every character is assigned their own colour. This is most often used to denote who is speaking in text, but itās also used for other things like the tool. You are probably aware that Careās colour is yellow, as all of her text is yellow. What you might not know is that Paulās colour is red. Paul has exactly one instance in all of Petscop where he has coloured text and that is in Petscop 22, when he gives the counsellor his name. The calendars in the house are also colour coded, as the one showing 2017 is red.
One of my favourite moments in all of Petscop uses colour in a way that supports this theory perfectly. When Paul takes Care out of the rebirthing machine, she has been transformed into an Easter egg. A red and yellow striped Easter egg. I will get into this egg later on, but for now, I want to point out how Paul and Careās colours have been used here. Of course, itās significant just that they've been put together, but it's more than that. Careās final form, the egg she has been placed in to keep her safe from all of the trauma she has suffered, that she will spend the rest of the series in, is painted a combination of her and Paulās colours. In the same sequence, when Paul is playing the Needles Piano for Care B, the āwrongā notes he plays to turn her into the Easter Egg are all red. Thereās a joke about eggs and transness in here somewhere.
Right after Careās rebirth into the egg, Paul places her in the locker with the purple egg and the ānew lifeā letter. If we abide by the established colour theory, this second egg would be Belleās/Tiaraās egg. By putting them together, alongside the letter, it symbolises Care and Belleās transfer to Linaās care; this can also be supported by the ending of Petscop. In the final scene of the soundtrack, Belle recounts when she and Paul were adopted, āThere is Boss waiting for her son. Pall do you remember being born. Smuggled away driving to your new house. Boss in driver seat me in back.ā (Petscop Soundtrack). āDo you remember being bornā is a question posed over and over again throughout Petscop. Itās meant to be a reference to rebirthing, but here itās Paul being asked if he remembers being born, not Care; you can also connect this to the ānew lifeā letter, making it apparent Belle is asking if he remembers when he was given his ānew lifeā with her and āBossā. Thereās also the implication of the wording āsmuggled awayā, implying that there was something stopping Paul from being taken to his new home. Paul and Careās final scenes parallel each other; Care is placed with Belleās/Tiaraās egg with the ānew lifeā letter, while Paul is taken back to āBossā by Belle. Care and Paul are both asked if they āremember being bornā.
Another, smaller piece of colour theory in Petscop comes from the board games in the counsellorās office. The board game āAccidentā features red and yellow puzzle pieces that fit together, but are broken apart. Remember that Careās colour is yellow, so assume that she symbolises the yellow piece; Paulās colour is red, so assume that he symbolises the red piece. The red piece is bigger and fits into the smaller yellow piece, like itās missing the beginning of it. The yellow piece comes before the red piece, as if it adds context to the red piece. When we think of this in terms of Care and Paul, we can see that Care is the āmissing pieceā of Paul; the small part of his past that adds the context that completes him. Paulās piece is bigger because heās been Paul for so much longer (if we interpret the counsellorās office as a real event the way it is shown, then that could be the moment he changed. Or, if we consider Careās rebirth into the egg as the moment Care turned into Paul, then that would be the moment instead), meanwhile Careās piece is small because she was only a small part of his life.
Taking colour into account, we can get into the meat of the symbolism in Petscop. When we view the events of Petscop through our new lens, many things become significant. Paul is placed in the role of Care many times throughout the series; on Careās birthday, in the counsellor's office, and in Rainerās āyou are Carrie Markā monologue.
During the āstrange situationā birthday scene, Paul carries around a yellow balloon, symbolising that he is standing in for Care. This is further cemented by Annaās dialogue addressing Paul as if he is Care on the day she came home, āYou made it. Happy birthday! (...) Why are you covering your face? (...) Of course I recognize you. Those eyes. That nose. Thatās still you.ā (Petscop 14).
This next dialogue from Anna is particularly interesting to me; she doesnāt just tell Paul that sheās happy Care is home safe or ask him where sheās been, but instead she says this, āI sure hope youāve realised by now. It doesnāt matter how long youāve been gone. It doesnāt matter how much youāve changed. You arenāt lost. Stop wandering and come home.ā (Petscop 14). When we talk about Petscop, we have the urge to deny any supernatural involvement in the story. Whether through AI or predictive programming or alternate timelines, we want Petscop to be plausible. Understandable. Easy to digest. But, we often forget that Paul poses the question of a literal āghost in the machineā in the first few episodes. I want to consider this quoteā Anna talking to her child who has been ālostā for many yearsā as an act of this ghost. The game is talking back to Paul, telling him that no matter how much he has changed, he still has the same eyes, the same nose that made him Carrie Mark. And we know how important eyes and noses are in Petscop. Also as a side note, consider how Anna didnāt specify eyebrows; we know that Careās lack of eyebrows is in some way due to Marvin, but when she tells Paul she recognises his eyes and nose, she doesnāt add on eyebrows. Paul said it himself in Petscop 7, āUm, and why am I doing that? Well, because eyebrows seem to be important.ā (Petscop 7). I like to think that she couldnāt have said that Paul has the same eyebrows because, since Marvin isnāt in the picture anymore, he wouldnāt have any reason to pluck them.
Another scene that mixes up Paul and Care is the counsellor's office. When Paul finally enters the āgirl wallā in Petscop 22, he is placed into a schoolās counsellorās office. Again, they talk to Paul as if he is Care, apologising for taking him out of class and saying he needs to ācatch upā, implying that heās missed a significant amount of school. As they start to play Graverobber (Jesus Christ, Rainer), the counsellor is confused about Paulās name; they ask him if they have the wrong name written down, as his save file is currently āStrange Situationā and when they called out the name on file, Paul didnāt respond. Now, the connection here is a little more nuanced, but it still comes to a conclusion that I think greatly supports the theory. āStrange situationā is in reference to the Mary Ainsworth Strange Situation Experiment, a test in which an infant is deliberately separated from their mother to test their level of attachment. This is a very base level understanding of this concept, but when applied to this specific scene, it becomes apparent that this āstrange situationā is another reference to Care. Care was separated from her mother for about half a year, only returning during the birthday party scene; the counsellorās scene was accessible once Paul started using the āStrange Situationā file. Care stopped recognising the name she used before the seperation, considering herself to be āStrange Situationā instead. She has literally stopped recognising the name Care, and picks out her own name (which in the game Paul sets to his own).
Also consider the implication of the āgirl wallā. At first, itās an absurd joke, meant to lighten the mood using the same roundabout humour the rest of the series has. But, the counsellor asking if they have the wrong name, listing Paul as āStrange Situationā instead of his name, combined with the fact that when Paul is placed in front of the girl wall, he canāt walk away from it, it becomes a bit of an analogy; The game keeps forcefully showing Paul the word āGiRLā over and over and when he finally enters the āgirl-worldā as Strange Situation, he is called the wrong name and once again placed in Careās shoes.
Letās revisit the āghost in the machineā idea. In Petscop 17, we are shown a past recording of Petscop; we never find out who was playing at this time, but itās easy to assume Paul is the one watching the recording. The footage is less interesting than the dialogue, but it is notable that itās a recording of the player running backwards in a very deliberate pattern. The actually relevant part of this sequence is Rainerās monologue; in particular, the way he frames it, āYou are a girl named Carrie Mark, and you were born on November 12th, 1992. You have a mommy named Anna, a daddy named Marvin, an auntie named Jill, an uncle named Thomas, a cousin named Daniel, ......I know what you must be thinking. Have these statements always been true? Or have I cursed you? Is there such a thing? A curse that changes your past?ā (Petscop 17). Thereās something about the forcefulness of this dialogue, āYou are Carrie Mark,ā as if Rainer is trying to make it so just by saying it. The inclusion of the birthday is also notable; we have been shown time and time again that Paul and Care share a birthday, and that this is an important part of both of their characters. So, when Rainer asks if these statements have always been true, or if itās āa curse that changes your pastā, weāre meant to interpret it as such: some of the statements are true, but the āyouā being addressed is not currently āa girl named Carrie Markā. Rainer casts a spell to make the player retrace their steps and although he might not be playing, the use of the word āyouā and present tense language makes the statement pointed towards Paul. Thereās something to be said about Rainerās position in all of this; he isnāt the only tangible āghostā in Petscop (Marvin and Tiara fit Paulās definition established in Petscop 6), but heās the only one to be fully dead. It truly feels, in this moment, like Petscopā like Rainerā is talking directly to Paul. The ācurse that changes your pastā is the part that ties it all together. This past that Paul doesnāt fully remember, where Anna and Marvin have a daughter named Care, where someone in his family went missing for monthsā by learning about this through the game, Rainer is essentially changing Paulās version of the past. Your memory and physical evidence are all you have of the past; when your memory tells you one thing, but physical evidence tells you another, what version of your past is true?
āYouāre the Newmaker. You can turn Care NLM into Care A, and close the loop.ā (Petscop 9)
Finally, I want to explain why this theory is supportive of the themes of Petscop. Of course, thereās the obvious link between rebirth and the change from Care to Paul. But, thereās also themes of blood family versus chosen family, breaking the cycle of abuse, and of healing from your past. I want to provide an explanation of each of these themes and how the āPaul is Careā theory fits into them.
Letās begin with the family point, since I already expanded on the familyās role in Petscop earlier. Thereās a story behind the scenes in this series; the conflict between the chosen family versus the blood family. Anna and Jill against Belle and Lina. Anna and Jill are restrictiveā they take over the channel and block certain things from the audience. Paul admits that heās intimidated by them, and heās concerned when he thinks Jill could be in contact with Belle. When we get the only dialogue from Jill, Paul is hostile and aggressive with her, something we donāt see from him otherwise. Alternately, Anna comes off as dismissive in most of her dialogue; when Care shows up at the birthday party, Anna treats her like no time has passed, like they havenāt been searching for her for months. We donāt get direct contact between Anna and Paul (except for a phone call in Petscop 11 that you could interpret as being with Anna), but the way she talks to the player through Care during the birthday party is still dismissive, āI sure hope youāve realised by now. It doesnāt matter how long youāve been gone. It doesnāt matter how much youāve changed. You arenāt lost. Stop wandering and come home.ā (Petscop 14). Thereās a level of distance between Paul and the family, which is evident from the name alone; Paul identifies himself as part of the family, but he still calls them āthe familyā as opposed to āmy familyā. When you pair that with the fact that he calls them all by their first names instead of any term of endearment (like how Rainer calls her āAuntie Jillā in his spell), it paints a clear picture: Paul does not want to be part of this family.
In direct contrast, Belle is shown a significant amount of affection from Paul. Not only is he on the phone with her for a good handful of the episodes, but Belle also has a familial connection to Paul. In Petscop 2, Paul is talking to Belle and he says āWhen you come home next month, and uh, hopefully you're feeling a little more enthusiastic about that now, we can investigate this together, and maybe you'll find stuff that I can't find here.ā (Petscop 2). I think the casual use of the word āhomeā to describe where Belle is staying implies a certain closeness, maybe even that they live in the same household. Thatās not the part of this line that is important to me, however. Take a look at Belleās final speech at the end of Petscop; Belle says āI could not wait too be your friend,ā and Paul responds, āFamilyā, to which Belle says, āWe can investigate this together.ā (Petscop Soundtrack). After distancing himself from the family, as well as directly telling her sheās not part of the family (following it up with āUhh... I didn't- I didn't mean it that way,ā (Petscop 22), implying they have a similar connection that sheās defending), Paul calls Belle family. She states that theyāre friends and Paul corrects her by telling her that theyāre not just friends, but family. The most gut wrenching part of this dialogue is the use of āwe can investigate this togetherā. Itās like a ward, a promise that Belle is making to Paul. He doesnāt have to go through this alone, sheās promising to be there for him. Sheās going to investigate this with him, like he asked her to in the second episode. Paul doesnāt call his blood relatives family, but he tells Belle that they are his family; her and the āBossā.
How does this connect to Care? Itās not hard evidence, but when you take this theme of family into account, it makes more sense for Paul to have a strained relationship with the family if we apply Careās story to him. Think about it; Paul was āsmuggled away driving too [his] new houseā and he hasnāt seen the family since he was a child, and Careās egg was (metaphorically) placed with Belleās and the New Life Letter when she would have been around 5, since thatās the age she was when she was kidnapped. Care went through an extremely traumatic event in a toxic environmentā why wouldnāt someone step in and take her out of that family? To me, this theory extends the same closure Paul gets at the end of Petscop to Care; it tells us that even after everything she went through, she finds people who love and take care of her.
Abuse is a huge focus in Petscop, both as a plot point and a major theme. Rainerās main motivation is to expose Marvinās abuse of both Mike and Care to the familyā whether or not thatās successful is not important. Because years after Rainerās attempt, Paul is back doing the exact same; although, his playthrough of Petscop is less of an expose and more of an attempt at solving the mystery. Now, I think itās a little pedantic, but in this context, I think the ācycle of abuseā in Petscop refers less to a generational cycle, but a continuous cycle that happens every time Petscop is played. Care is stuck in this version of the past that Rainer has created, forced to live through it as many years as Petscop is left on. Paul doesnāt continue this cycle though; as far as we know, Paul is the only person to reach the good ending of the game, where heās rebirthed Care into the egg and reconnected with Belle and āBossā. Paul is the only person who could understand what Care needed, because itās exactly what he needed.
Careās trauma is replayed for us throughout Petscop. Every knowable aspect of it is shown, leaving behind a raw feeling; like somehow, Paul and Rainer have made a spectacle of her abuse. But, I donāt think thatās entirely true. Rainer, although he is bitter and vengeful, is ultimately the person who finds the truth about Care and Mike and (if we are to believe him) is also the one who found Care at the school. In the beginning, itās obvious that Paul is playing the game to see the mystery and is slowly engulfed by it throughout the rest of the series. When the game tells him that, āMarvin picks up tool hurts me when playstation on,ā (Petscop 3), Paul proceeds anyway. The same happens when Care is caught in her room; Paul sees what is obviously a child being kidnapped and continues to solve the puzzle anyway. He picks the flower, catching Care NLM, and leads Marvin to the house. Paul follows through on everything he can to āsolveā the mystery of Carrie Mark, but in the end, he defies what the game has told him to do and saves Care. He does what Rainer couldnāt do: he breaks the cycle of abuse in the Mark-Leskowitz family. Itās kind of poetic, the idea that the person Care grew to be is the same person who confronts and lays to rest her trauma. The fact that playing his own theme would be the key to changing Care into the egg (a symbol of birth and potential) is beautiful.
The last thing I want to talk about is the theme of healing. This concept is more nebulous; we donāt see much of Paul post-Petscop, but the final scene does always leave me feeling hopeful for him. I think the reconnection with Belle and āBossā, alongside the reassurance that, ā[they] can investigate this together,ā shows that Paul is out of the mindset and environment Petscop put him in. Iāve always thought that throughout Petscop, we see a deterioration of Paul; in the beginning, heās intrigued and confused, but we see him become more and more disturbed, irritable, and frustrated towards the end. This is first evident with the CD puzzle in the house, where Paul is so out of his depth and confused that he stops acting with the same calm rationality shown throughout the earlier episodes. Then, when Paul is messing about with the demo recordings, he stops speaking in the videos entirely. When Paul sees the final blacked out object, which are coordinates to the real life windmill, he is the most stuttery weāve ever seen, āHm. Y- y- yep, yep. Yep... yep. N- we would- we would have to find out how big... like, we'd have to find out how big a tile is..? One of the tiles..? Like, if we could- if we could figure out how big... one tile is, in... u- in, umm... Like, feet. Or... Uhh, yeah. Meters.ā (Petscop 22). Heās frazzled and excited and a little bit scared, evidenced by how he talks about the family, āThey didn't... I don't like talking to them. They intimidate meā¦ā (Petscop 22). All of this changes by the end; Paul is no longer stuck playing the game and heās free to return to the people who love him most. This freedom is summed up in a single image: the final one we see in Petscop. Paulās chair is empty and the blue sky beyond the desk is brimming with hope.
All this to say, Paul choosing Belle and āBossā over the game as well as saving Care by doing whatās best for her instead of finishing the final puzzle, alongside his final scene where he is welcomed home by his real family, shows us an interpretation of Petscop that paints it not as a tragedy, but a story of chosen family, breaking the cycle of abuse, and healing trauma through connection.
Thank you so much for hearing me out.
Bye-bye!
#its been done for ever i just never got around to posting it#i went through and edited it to bw more coherent tho bc this was written in the middle of a petscop fervor lol#petscop#paul leskowitz#carrie mark#im not tagging everyone#essay#petscop theory#i love you paul is care theory forever and ever#its long so you may wanna read in multiple sittings#like 10 pages long ToT#sorry not sorry#lmk if i actually made sense or if im crazy pls i want to know if this is even understandable to ppl who arent me#this was actually originally written as a video essay but idk if ill ever make it
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all my pdh s2 doodles i need u guys to keep in mind i didnt know All That was gonna happenšššš
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#I FEEL SO BAD BRO HOW THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO PREDICT THAT CRAZY ASS DATE#aphmau#phoenix drop high#aphverse#aphmau mystreet#ein mystreet#aphmau pdh#kai pdh#im not tagging everyone thats too much just jnow i love them all#SORRY KAIS HAIR LOOKS DIFFERENT IN EVERU DRAWING I COULDNT FIGURE OUY HOW I WANTED JT TO LOOKā¹ļøā¹ļø#U guys should have seen my face when ein was revealed to be Evil bro Jaw Dropped i was mad as hell like WTF WAS THAT#KAI ESPECIALLY THAT HURT SO BADD BRO I LOVED KAI I EVEN MADR HIM A FIGURE SKATER LIKE ME Like that was literally my Friendš#ive geniuenly Ranted and written so much about this in my notes app i HATE how kai was treated at the end there Bro idgaf THEY LITERALLY#CHANGED HIS ENTIRE PEROSNALITY ALLL BHIS VALUES Mr ''learning about other people is a wonderful thing''Jessicaaašš#I THOIGHT THAT WAS INTENTIONAL TO LIKE CONTRAST THE PREVIOUS SEASON LIKE WOW here's a guy that geniuenly Cares too ESPECIALLY SINCE#HE āGives her examples of things she's said in the past things specific to HER that he Knows in his MIND like a GOOD FRIEND!!!#IN THE SAME EPISODE!!!!!! AM I CRAZY LIKE ACTUALLY WHAT AM I MISSING HERE#Guys Om sorry i know he comes back in a later season of mystreet or whatever and is Weird but like im only on love lovenparadise rn i cant#deal wirh Whatever happens thats Seperate Ok im a Pdh defender exclusively#i have so many more thoughts but like im lowkey Done these have been in my gallery for so long i was too scared to post after finishing the#season but like whateverrrr sorry for rambling goodbueā¤ļø#awesome
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How did you manage to handle not one, but FOUR separate accounts in fl? I recently made the account for my HD little guy but having to do the tutorial again just seems miserable
there's... weirdly several answers to that question, actually??
a HUGE part of it is due to the way FL is structured. the 10-minute action timer is a core part of the game on a fundamental level, and the fact that i can very easily run out of stuff to do on one character and thus have an excuse to quickly and easily swap to another is just... convenient? satisfying? i'm not entirely sure how to explain it. the fact that i can make progress even while i am fundamentally simultaneously Not Making Progress is like pure dopamine for my freak insane awful little brain. there's just something really pleasing about spending all of my actions pursuing The Goal Of The Dayā¢ on one account before casually swapping to another and doing the same without feeling like i'm wasting time or acting to the first account's explicit detriment. the downtime helps! the recharge time helps! the structure really really works!!
i'm technically only actively playing three, maybe two accounts minimum. the only reason the fourth (the one that'll be my future BaL playthrough) currently exists at all is so i can get his earlygame completely out of the way now and not have to waste time running through it all later, when what i actually want to do is play the ambition i've made myself wait a full year to play. and also getting free goodies as seasonal stuff happens,, something something surprise tools to help us later. the only two accounts i'd say i'm really "actively playing" at the moment are caeru and lark- and of the two, lark takes the most priority, since his ambition is the one i'm currently pursuing in earnest. for a couple months now- despite being My Main FL Character- the scoundrel has actually been pretty inactive on a gameplay front outside of the occasional progression in TLC and discordance content. purely by virtue of having Very little left to do outside of Very long-term grinds and vanities. they're in their "now what?" "now you can start playing the game" era. they've graduated to previous protagonist background cameo in a sequel anime series. they're like the yin FLPC equivalent of red at the top of mount silver. they're Literally just vibing rn. i only keep posting about them regardless because i'm insane and i will never ever ever ever ever let that bat go. but yeah, big TLDR, outside of doing the bare minimum to keep making waves/notability up every week, i'm not actually spending that much time on accounts i'm not currently actively interested in playing. and that accounts for way more gaming spoons than you might think.
i have a virtually lifelong history of playing MMOs, especially and specifically world of warcraft. i was born in the endless grind for useless video game pixel vanities and/or bragging rights. molded by it. you all have merely adapted to doing the same piece of content a pointlessly excessive amount of times for literally no reason besides whimsy and folly. me? i've done my time. i've served my sentence. i've spent weeks doing the original burning crusade netherwing dailies. i've devoted days to running praetorium over and over and over again, back-to-back, nonstop, long before square enix cut it in half and made it NOT take at minimum an hour and a half per run. i've perfected my silverwastes + auric basin goldfarming strategies. i've (almost) crafted dragonwrath tarecgosa's rest. i've killed the sha of anger so many times its dying scream of agony is embedded into the very fabric of my being. ""only"" doing making your name content four times over? that is nothing to me. it means nothing to me. it is so infinitesimal i can do the persuasive seduction quests in my sleep. it's not a matter of handling misery, or having the capacity, or even sighing as i remember the brass embassy raid segment of the watchful questline seriously i don't know why i keep forgetting that exists or what even is my problem with it i just am so consistently mildly inconvenienced by it and its highly specific resource requirements and it is the worst thing ever. maybe i'm just so used to the scoundrel's near-infinite money and troves of disposable items that i've completely forgotten what being poor is like. despite having done that step 3 fucking times now. ahem. anyway. i have transcended the feeble mortal bindings of my resistant-to-grinding flesh and ascended to a higher plane of enlightenment, they may call me insane but they will be the ones left laughing when they see what that "insanity" has wrought, i've usurped them, i've usurped them all-
hacks and coughs and awkwardly clears my throat. i mean. uh. um. Ahem.
the empress' court artistry + tales of the university nerfs helped too.
#and yes#before you ask#i have forgotten which account has which items/has done which content many a time#i think the most painful incident was forgetting to keep up the scoundrel's making waves while i was still playing nemesis with caeru#given that im trying to build it up to 12 and reset their specialization... that was uniquely painful#then again they have like 40 BDR so it wasnt actually that inconveniencing lmao#fallen london#ask#long post#sorry for the infodump + sudden villain monologue.#all jokes and personal accounts aside i totally get the apprehension abt doing that stuff again#it's not for everyone. not by a long shot.#im only doing this because im genuinely invested and in love with this silly little browser game#and way back when i started i made a (only half metaphorical) solemn oath to experience all of its ''main stories''#and truly see everything it has to offer#(bc i like. physically cant do hyperfixations by halves. i need to consume Everything abt the thing or i'll explode)#(and even then i'll probably explode anyway. it's either completely drop it or go All In until it stops taking up so much space in my brain#(and. given the track record. that is not happening with FL for a while yet)#but like. that isnt actually normal behavior. just. just to clarify.#from what ive seen a VAST majority of people do not go out of their way to play literally every ambition#and that is so valid. it is so overwhelming. you have to juggle so much.#you have to play the earlygame So Many Goddamn Times.#(as i said. served my time. did my sentence. i am my scars. etc etc)#the best advice i can give as someone who's so completely desensitized to that repetition it doesnt even phase me anymore?#the same advice i can stress to all FL players. legitimately just take ur time with it. play when you want to.#dont when you dont.#sometimes you have to grit your teeth and bear things. and when it comes to alts you Will have to grit your teeth and bear it all again#but the beauty of this being a game that one plays for fun is that unlike. say. crushing deadlines or annoying coworkers in real life#you are completely within your power to decide when where and if you want to grit and bear it all#..wow this is ADVANCED yin rambling holy shit. i actually reached the tag limit. i think this ask should be put on some kind of list
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whoopsie daisy sorry for going MIA for a bit guys im just grinding TWST en
#IM STILK WRITING . BY THE WAY. but my art posts micht be more twst now#Sorry. Everyone.#it is very much a might and not a will though ill be clear#my attention span is extremely fickle im surprised i lasted so long thinking about hh#but then again thats cause i was in love w a tv. now its a ginger. Again.#š art tag#twisted wonderland#twst fanart#my ocs#twst yuu#yuusona#yinyuu nakatomi#twst oc
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Hii! First off i just want to I'm such a big fan of your art and animatics! Your art is just so expressive and unique its addicting to look at šš
I was wondering if you could go over how your process or tutorial in making an animatic? Whenever I try to start to make one, I get jumbled up and end up ditching it lol
I'm sorry if you get this question a lot š
So sorry it took me so long to answer this- I was in a Busy time (diseaseridden with covid and being punched by finals) when I got the ask and wanted to answer it with some stuff Im using for my next TOH animatic!!
I'll say one thing first: I get jumbled up and ditch so many animatics. For every one animatic I release, there are three to five more I have that have NEVER seen the light of day (yet). And that's okay!! It's fun just to make them for me, and I hope it is for you too!! Animatics are scary because if you're working on it alone, it can be really hard to be your own cheerleader to keep up the mojo to keep going. So that makes it really special when there is that project that makes it to the finish line- cuz you can look at it and go "holy crap I made this. holy crap i MADE that look how SICK that is dude!! all that work and look at the turnout!!"
The following stuffh is just my personal process and is by no means representative of a professional animation pipeline, but this works for me as a Lonely Artist! It all begins with the idea - whether it's a song, or just a story you wanna tell. In the case of the one I'm gonna demo here with , I wanted to animate Hunter's first day as Del's apprentice!
The first thing I did was write a script. Not fancy or AO3-quality, but enough that I understand the pacing and the visuals of each shot. I usually just put this in a doc or put it in a script format, if I feel fancy.
Then, I take that script and find music that I think would fit for it- and remix it (if needed) to fit the pacing/mood/etc! This is what this new animatic looked like before I began ANY artwork- this is a me thing because I'm super inspired by audio as opposed to visuals first. But you might be different- this is just how I like working personally!
Then begins the research! I find references for characters, background layouts, and create a style guide for the animatic that tells me how thick lines will be for characters, backgrounds, if there'll be tons of value or no. I make a turnaround for each character so I can refer to them because Im gonna be drawing them over and over a LOT and want to be consistent! Luckily TOH has no shortage of references, so I based my work off them.
THEN, I can begin drawing. I'm a little,,, (a lot) ADHD and may not always do this process, but if you're new to animatics or daunted by the task at hand, make beat boards of the entire project.
This is just a page of rough thumbnails that get your visual idea down - look how rough and quick these are!! I try not to spend over a minute on each beat board if I dont have to, unless it's a particularly complex shot.
When it gets to the stage where you're ready to begin the actual scenes, I personally tend to do backgrounds first because I like to set characters into backgrounds - and for every animatic, I have the Awkward Blue Sketch Stage which is basically my beat boards timed out as an animatic.
I used Storyboard Pro for this (Toonboom, not free ): icky), but the process can be replicated across most art platforms in whichever way you feel most comfy with! This is so I can time the drawings before I devote time cleaning them up-- which can make for some Pretty Funny looking little guys but theyre important!! trust!!
Once a big sequence of shots is cleaned up (I usually do 40-60 second chunks at a time), I export the .mov and send it to my editing program (which in this case is still Premiere Pro) - and then repeat this process again and again until.. it's done??
Here's like a TL;DR list of basically everything I said summed up:
ā¢ Make a loose script or bulletin of the idea! Do your research!
ā¢ Depending on what kind of animatic you're making, time it to music!
ā¢ Make a beat board of very loose gestures for your shots, and time them - then move on to refinement & cleanup!
ā¢ Combine all shots, refine music cues and timings, add any last needed VFX, and export!
There's no secret recipe or anything, it's just learning a pipeline that best suits you, whether it is for something professional or something you want to make for fun because you just love to make!!
#riley talks#long post#SORRY ITS LONG but i couldnt just put a bulletin list like āthis is the ONLY method that worksā bc thats not true!!!#everyone works diferently especially artists#and this is just my specific method of working#im very fortunate to have programs that make animatic-making a little easier#so i hope whoever wishes to make one in the future finds something that works well for them!! i have a blast making storyboards/animatics!!#text post#ask#tutorial#idk how to tag this lol
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ive been unhealthily fixated on kubosai for the past few weeks, i just have no idea how to put it into words. kuboyasu aren and saiki kusuo are in love btw
#they are.#been thinking a lot about t*rusai and k*bosai and all three of them together#(really long rant in these tags that shouldve been a rant post but im not changing it soz i got carried away LMAO->)#see the thing is that k*bosai is my absolute favorite ship ever. but i get genuinely pissed when people smack talk t*rusai#idk like i get why people wouldnt ship kbs and i really dont care. and i also get that a lot of people have differing opinions and-#wont ship trsai. i honestly cant wrap my head around why (other than people who just hate teruhashi and are misogynistic) but im okay with-#agreeing to disagree and i dont care yk??#but people so often make these long discussion posts just yapping and yapping and making up shit about how trsa 'wouldnt work'#and its always just... actual complete bullshit. like unreadable word vomit.#sorry. but its true.#thats why it gets me so mad#i cant think of a single reason why you would feel the need to do that#why cant you be normal and just. not like a ship. just dont like it. hate it even. but dont make up shit just to shit on it#its so dumb i have to force myself to just scroll past them every time i encounter one#usually on tiktok or tumblr#if i read them i wont be able to stop myself from making the most concerned and upset noises ever cuz what is actually wrong with you#theyre always the biggest dumbest stretches ever and they ignore their actual development and pretend it didnt happen#it just makes me wonder why people are so okay with making fun of that ship but get mad if anyone even dislikes theirs#and then they complain about people 'shitting on their opinion'#LIKE ?? NOBODY CARES THAT U HATE THE SHIP. I CERTAINLY DONT GAF.#but ur in the main tags advertising ur hatred for it and sounding stupid as shit for no reason? UR SHITTING ON PEOPLES SHIP ON PURPOSE#AND THEN GETTING MAD AT ANYONE WHO EVEN SAYS 'i disagree actually' IM LAUGHING SO HARD STOP IM KILLING MYSELF#the one time i ever talked in that much detail about why i disliked a ship was bevause somebody specifically asked me#and yk what ?? i have literally gotten death threats over it. im not allowed to hate that ship but everyone else can do whatever i guess#okay sorry. rant over.#is that controversial i cant tell. i dont really care and im not tagging anyway#meows post
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phosphor rewatches voltz (the only episode he remembers is 'the bomb') and collects little lore/headcanons/other bits, the post (with links):
warnings for: my taking their silly bits far too seriously, past members who were in voltz, too much focus on xephos, citing reference material supporting my headcanons (i am sorry)
Episodes 1 -5 under the cut
claustrophobic xephos is just cannon, apparently
lalna with no proprioception bashing his way through doors is as well
the sphax battery texture is just a duracell and xephos and lalna know who the soviets are, all lore is canceled everyone go home (its the "pokedex entries reference elephants and india" problem all over again)
these two goofs are just smashing stuff together until something works. it must be hellish to work in a lab with xeph and lalna, honestly. one of them is furiously trying to read the paper for the first time while handling explosives while the other is trying to smash enriched uranium into powder with a hammer.
no specific timestamps, but lalna and xeph never remembering to eat during a science binge is also canon supported, lewis and duncan have spent the multiple episodes nearly starving, feat.: "I am starving to death, ever so slightly."
the simultaneous awkward 'no idea what's going on here' laugh
in this house we baby talk our machines
have we ever had "xeph just canonically has magic" headcanons before? because i almost feel like we should. adds a little spice.
xeph's planet might have had startreck style food creation machines. he certainlly shouldn't be allowed to cook.
the faintly pouty "well you don't feed me!" - i love the idea of xeph who is more comfortable with his friends feeling secure enough to whine about silly things.
another clip to add to the 'xeph is afraid of the dark' pile
the line from lalna like "im used to being invincible, frankly. Um - so I'm not really - y'know - used to having to worry about dying." - working that into my 'reasons lalna put a nuke under rythian's base' personal canon (dont think about the timeline too hard)
xeph tries to smelt uranium which i think gave lalna a heart attack
xeph and lal both with echolalia repeating the same word back and forth across the lab
for your consideration: xephos being scared of bugs. honestly xeph being kind of useless when he's scared is very cute.
lewis considering jumping off a building because he's on low health and hunger and he can just regen to full vs xeph the character considering that action are so different, tonally. we love a horror comedy.
lalna - voted world's worst scientist at lab safety 11 years running
has the shade of xephs eyes changed or am i loosing it a little? they look more royal blue here, where i'd have said they were pale blue in recent content? maybe it's just the lighting engine having updated somewhat over 11 years.
xeph and lalna realise they aren't alone on the server (also xephos proceeds to refer to sips/sjin collectively as spacemen, lorewise - xephos, at the very least, doesn't believe he's the only extraterrestrial on minecraftia, but do they ever call themselves spacemen?)
whats the lore behind this lot feeling the need to murder each other with explosives? did we get a lore reason?
xeph: "if they're not talking to us, they are definitely our enemies" this says a lot about him, as a person i think.
#ridgedog#sjin#<- as a warning for those who block these tags#i'll mention them if they have a lore role in duncan's cut of voltz#im also only watching duncan's eps also so sorry if you wanted lore from another pov!#this is gonna get *long* - i'll have to split this up#we need a wiki guys. desperately. otherwise all we will have is my stupidly long lore posts#and that would rightly drive anyone round the bend#why is lewis' mic so much worse than everyone elses for *so* long#like he's got a terrible mic for about 3 years longer than anyone else#i love it -its nostalgic as hell - but like. why.#yoglore#voltz#lore posts
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You mentioned how actually endearing and compelling Justine/Verity and John/Shaun's bond is, and BOY I so agree with you. I don't see people talk about them often sadly, but I genuinely think it's one of the strongest parts of the game and its narrative (in particular John's character development itself, despite that he appeared pretty late in the story, his involvement in the final sequence was really tasty. "If I kill someone for revenge I'll end hurting people dear to me, so it all will be pointless" hmmm if there isn't a certain samurai guy in another game who needed to learn this as well... but I digress)
Prosecutor's Gambit's parent/child theme is a pretty heavy handed topic, but it's not like there aren't some really amazing parts in this whole deal! I kinda don't even care about the mastermind as much as I care about John (and Kate Hall for this matter)
THEY ARE SO IMPORTANT TO ME!!!!!! I think much of their appeal comes from Justine's shift in personality after her connection to John is revealed (like her joking about smashing Edgeworth's evidence with her gavel), but also every interaction of theirs is so sweet and lovely.
I love how protective they both are of each other, and it makes all the more sense when you take into consideration that Justine wasn't much older than a child herself when she decided to adopt him. I love how they take care to show that, yes, to an extent, they both do look after each other, but Justine is still very much his mother, and she does her job well. The scenes where she's strict with him are so deeply important to me. You know she studied parenting books and did everything she could to prepare herself for this life. And yeah, John is such a great kid!! Genuinely one of the best parent-child relationships in the series to me.
I found it kind of funny how every other relationship in AAI2 involved a dad HAHA It was so much, but I get it. They really wanted to make sure you got what they were going for, and hey, most people seem to like it. I really liked Gregory's segments, which was a welcomed surprise. I didn't expect to love him as much as I did. And, yeah, the mastermind stuff did not work for me. It's probably because I didn't trust Simeon from the moment I met him (their heavy handedness worked against them in his case for me. They were pushing the idea of him being meek and unassuming too hard; I clocked it immediately as a red herring); but even the overall reveal and final confrontation were, like... eh. okay, then. HAHA The best parts of the game for me were those character interactions with the side character. Wasn't really paying attention to whatever was going on with Simeon and the president, but John, Justine, Sebastian, Katherine, Gregory, and Raymond? My actual world.
Also taking this opportunity to share all the screenshots I took of John and Justine <3 :
#i feel like some people have misinterpreted what i meant by 'telling' in the original post. i didnt mean to imply the father relationships#were badly written just that i resonate more with mum and child relationships whdisgdk#asks for the notebook#thank you for the ask!! idk what to say about justine and john because like. everything about them is wonderful. just look at them. how can#you not adore them. they're everything.#i feel like aai2 kind of tries to do too much personally. im not big on the twist villain who was planning everything from behind the scene#this whole time they come across very cartoon character to me (and simeon is definitely like that. i dont find him interesting or menacing#at all he kind of bored me sorry simeon fans) and i think it would have benefitted from having fewer characters or threads they were trying#to follow. i think the point was to feel like everyone and every interaction was importnat but it felt more like they would bring up whoeve#was convenient to bring up when the situation called for it to me. but i still really enjoyed my time with it. the writing for the side#characters was very fun i had a good time <3#freya talks aai2#justine courtney#john marsh#verity gavelle#shaun fenn#<- tagging so i can find my screenshots#long post
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I might have OCD actually
#idk i can't tell if its ocd or paranoia#but all my life these āshare this text to 10 contacts or your mum will dieā always made me unreasonably panicked#and more and more because of posts like ādonate now or you are a horrible personā make me deeply unwell#i feel so selfish because i know it's not their fault#im not blaming palestinians reaching out for help more like the people who share the posts and then guilt trip everyone#and i really dont wanna block the tags because it'll make me feel even worse and i still want to be informed#i have so many asks pilling up but idk what to do because I'm useless i can't help in anyway i dont have any reach and no money in my name#and i dont wanna close asks because i do enjoy ask games#but also idk what to do#because when i reply its so hard i feel miserable because i can't help but as soon as i reply i get 20 new ones and it's incredibly overwhel#overwhelming#but when i dont answer my brain is screaming at me āif you dont reply your while family will die in a car crashā#and it's a simple mental image to think of the more asks i answer the more i get the more my brain tells me awful things#I'm sorry to any mutual i may have unfollowed because they shared so many guilt tripping posts i genuinely can't do it anymore#and i feel terrible#and I don't wanna leave Tumblr because it's my only social platform left lmao and thevother ones are all awful its the inly one i like#I'm just not in the right mental state to constantly see ādonate or you dont deserve to live even if youre poorā kinda posts#it's not even triggering its just making my āocdā worse than it ever was#all day long my brian been telling me āyou will die today because you didnt answer the asks!!ā#it's genuinely horrible idk what to do and eother way i feel like a piece of shit i feel like i dont have the right to feel this way
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Commission for @kg-clark-inthedark, portrait of her OC Matheo from her fic Beyond The Spheres
thank you so much!
commission info
#ert#commission art#art commission#artists on tumblr#art#kg-clark-inthedark#pencil art#such a delight of a commission#thank you so so much#and Im sorry for taking so long with posting this#should i tag dishonored orrrrr#also!!! everyone!!!!! go read beyond the spheres#like genuinely go do it#its even linked right there#either way! this was very very nice
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guys stop posting good fics of so many different characters I canāt keep up š
#literally have hazelās new jy story on one tab waiting for me šš¼āāļøšØ#and then my girl poe tagged me in a sukuna piece like a night and a half ago and i still havenāt read it š dw it has its own tab too#so does nandiniās new years steve fic thats a beautiful 19k+ words long š„¹š„¹#and THEN RIVER JUST POSTED A GOJO FIC???#then kendallās bakugo fic from this morning she rbād likeā¦#SOMEONE HELP im getting swamped#and thenā¦ ykw donāt get me started on the dozen+ fics of juice i have tbr tucked awayā¦#my brain cannot compute and Iām going cross-eyed LOL#i blame my period i literally cannot focus on shit atm#i need more coffee ig lol#ā¦ and when i get to my stories I will im just so preoccupied with everyone elseās amazing stories Iām sorry š£#but more coffee incoming lol bye š#kass rambles.
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