#she said I don’t want your love or your romance I wanna fuck and watch y’all give good tennis

[theadoptedfandom]

“What Makes You Think I Want

Someone To Be In Love With Me?”

[ktsumu]

FIFTH TIME’S A CHARM

cw: suggestive content, nudity happy valentine's day ᡣ𐭩

This year, for the first time ever, Tooru doesn’t buy flowers for his valentine. You are the only witness to the crime.

His first girlfriend, back in junior high, got roses. She got him roses, too, with a chocolate bar he ended up giving to his sweet tooth sister. They were real, shockingly, smelt good too.

They were discounted, and it’s a basic gift, but he was twelve and had only been seeing her for three weeks.

(And they broke up two weeks later, so he has no regrets about the roses that cost his mom less than fifteen bucks.)

The second girlfriend was a little more serious.

Tooru thinks he might’ve been fourteen for that one. He liked her—she was kind, pretty, had a nice laugh. He remembers holding hands in the hallway at school and their first kiss (well, peck) was surrounded by a bunch of classmates, screaming like it mattered more to them than it did to him.

He forgets how long they lasted, but he’s sure they started dating in November and made it to Valentine’s Day. He bought her tulips, her favourite, and a stuffed bear, because it was right beside it in the store. With his own money, too. 

His second girlfriend—he really, really feels bad about not knowing her name anymore—got him chocolate. He gave it to his sister again, but he kept the card she wrote him, saying she loved him three months in like either of them knew what that meant.

And to be fair, he said he loved her, too. Just not to her face. Many, many times to Hajime, though.

Tooru and Girlfriend #2 broke up in May. He wasn’t even planning on it, either. She just moved to a different country and he wasn’t looking for a penpal, and she said she didn’t wanna cheat on him.

The third girlfriend is where his small list gets serious.

He gave romance a break after the one that got away. He just flirted with people up until his first year of high school, the big leagues, which is when he actually got too much attention.

It’s a huge deal when you’re sixteen and your girlfriend is seventeen. He was crowned royalty of his class, the chosen one. The only one that could possibly score an older girl and act like it’s no big deal, and then proceed to blow her off to watch a game taping or something. On top of the world, and yet so below the standard.

She was pretty good to him. Makki always said he was a moron and she was gonna dump his ass, and Tooru probably knew that, too. Hajime said he was wasting his time, and every time he’d deny it, he’d think about how right he was.

He and the third girlfriend—Hana, he remembers—had one Valentine’s Day together, but it was so close to two that he almost wants to count it as such for the hell of it.

He got her wildflowers because she always said she hated roses and tulips. Basic flowers mean they don’t care, or something like that. He didn’t understand it fully, but he was happy when she leapt into his arms, that was for sure. It felt pretty good when she kissed him stupid and said he was the best, but that high didn’t survive the Spring Tournament the next year. 

That’s how close he was to two Valentine’s Days—January. Fucking brutal.

She dumped him and he swore off girlfriends in senior year; probably even blamed it on something stupid like ‘bad omens.’ He graduated with D1 offers, though, so he counts it as a win.

That tallies up to three successful Valentine’s Days, so far right? Yeah, right—all with flowers. 

The fourth bouquet wasn’t a bouquet at all, it was actually orchids in a pot, left on the kitchen table of the apartment he lived in when he moved. He was twenty, her name was Riko, his first almost everything. First I love you, first time—name it, basically.

He did make it to two Valentine’s Days with Riko, which is something so impressive for him that confetti emojis were everywhere in the groupchat he kept with his friends from high school. Hearts, confetti, eggplants, whatever else.

The first one was admittedly better than the second, though. The second one, he got a really serious offer overseas, and he didn’t even ask about it. He just told her that he loved her, and that he’d be in Argentina by August.

(Safe to say that he was the only one packing for that.)

That was the last time he bought flowers on Valentine’s Day, because it was the last time he consciously celebrated with someone. He sent his friends funny clips or pictures just to tease, taunted them whenever they could keep a girlfriend to celebrate with, but he gave up himself.

(It’s just so much easier to relax—he’d have no problem getting a girlfriend if he wanted one. His issue is keeping them.)

He’s twenty-seven and solo.

Mostly solo, he should say. You come around a lot, stay the nights with him. You typically collect your clothes and leave the next morning with a wave and maybe a ‘text me if you wanna do this again Friday,’ but he hates how he’s lying when he grins and says he just might.

Tooru is so used to being the one to leave, or to sabotage himself until someone else does, that he’s forgotten that it actually sucks when you don’t wanna be left alone.

The whole point of you and him is to keep it casual, but Tooru can barely keep it cool.

He likes to consider himself experienced. It’s why he gets so fucked up when he kisses you for longer than he realizes, or how he finds himself holding back words he thinks might be too much for casual sex. 

You two are functional together, at least. He just puts the system at risk a lot.

When he wakes up today, February fourteenth, he doesn’t even know what day it is. He’s naked, in his own bed at the very least, and he can see his jeans on the floor through the light of the bathroom dripping through the door left open. Dawn peeks through the curtains.

The room is quiet, the window’s open so the birds can talk to him, and to his left, you’re still here. 

“Hey,” he says, yawning.

“Good morning,” you say back, a small smile on your face as you stretch. He can’t help but smile back, with his grin and smile lines, eyes drifting to the hem of the sheets that try and cover you up. Okay, naked too. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Woah.

“It’s Valentine’s Day?” he replies in a hurry, leaning up on his elbow as he grabs his phone. Yes, very much so.

You raise your brows. “What? Got a wife you forgot about?”

“Very funny.”

“I know, I’ve been waiting,” you say. It’s your turn to yawn now, moving to lay your head on his chest, hand pushing him back down into the bed. “What’s the panic, then?”

He shrugs. “Nothing. Just … forgot. It's weird.”

“Hm. So where are my roses, huh?”

Tooru scoffs, glancing down at you as he rests a hand on your waist. “They’re being delivered, obviously.”

“I figured.” You cock your head. “What’s up with Valentine’s Day, huh?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never not gotten flowers for someone when I’ve had them.”

“Are you talking about me?”

“What, I can’t get friendly flowers?” he asks, raised brows and attitude waking up with him. “You’re naked in my bed, that must constitute something.”

The way you pout your lip in thought makes him wanna reach out for your hand. Is it weird to do that? Can I do that? 

(You do it first, but he holds you tighter.)

“No, this is fine.”

“Fine?”

“Better,” you quickly correct. “I’d rather just stay in bed and say it once. I prefer acts of service, anyway.”

Looking at you, laying on his bare chest, the sun creeping in over yours, he doesn’t care all that much about how he’s breaking tradition anymore. Maybe it’s not even tradition, maybe it’s just a cycle he’s breaking; a vicious one, at that.

You’re an unconventional valentine in the sense that you’re not even his, but maybe when the day’s passed and he doesn’t feel it looming over him, he might bring it up again.

“Acts of service, you say?”

You snicker, being pushed onto your back as he looms over you. He’s looking at you like Cupid hit him; bullseye.

“You wouldn’t happen to know of those, would you?”

“Just tell me what you want, already. Let me make up for the flowers.”

You take him by the back of the neck, pulling him down to kiss you like he means it. Tooru speaks in tongues the two of you best understand.

For the first time in four official Valentine’s Days, Tooru doesn’t buy his valentine flowers. But, for the first time in four official Valentine’s Days, it feels so right that it doesn’t even matter he’s doing it ‘wrong.’

(Next time, when you’re hopefully here again, he doesn’t think he’ll get flowers, either. This'll do.)

[luvhhannie]

nothing new | y. jeonghan x reader

𓇢𓆸 synopsis: no one would’ve thought that unspoken feelings would’ve been the best for you and jeonghan

𓇢𓆸 genre: angst, non-idol au, mutual pining (if you squint), kinda slow burn romance, hanahaki disease

𓇢𓆸 cw: major character death, terminal illness hinted, swearing, blood and gore (at some point), yn basically being paths eren, a little bit of wonwoo x reader but mostly platonic, 96 line (wonwoo, woozi) to maknae line are all in freshman in uni, the rest of 96 line are in sophomore in uni, LOTS of references

𓇢𓆸 wc: 11.1k

𓇢𓆸 a/n: this is my first time in a while writing a fic again so please bear with me! and if you recognize my user from wattpad DONT remind me of my aki fic i lowkey completely forgot the plot. not really proofread i just wanna get this out there, ill edit it if i have to. anyways, all love!

“jeonghan, meet my sister, yn. don’t you dare hit on her now.” your brother, seungcheol, said to his friend who only smiled at you.

“nice to finally meet you, yn-ie. cheol told me how much of a supportive sister you are.” jeonghan stated as you stare up at him. today is november 13th, the day you finally met your brother’s so called “university best friend”. you only knew jeonghan from your brother’s talks and calls but never actually gotten the chance to meet him, until today. you knew from your brother that jeonghan was quite a “manwhore”, in your brother’s words. seungcheol was only a year older than you, already in his sophomore year in college, while you were still enjoying the gap year you were taking. you and seungcheol are practically twins, only you being more laid back than him. he was your only sibling and so are you to him, making him very protective over you despite your undeniably, small age gap.

“hey, it’s finally nice to meet you too. seungcheol told me a lot of things about you.” you said to the long, dark haired man infront of you. he gave a sheepish smile and raised his brows.

“great things, i suppose?” he slyly asked, earning a scoff from seungcheol.

“you wish.” seungcheol said as he plopped down on the couch, changing the show you were watching to a show he liked. you rolled your eyes.

“A LOT of great things.” you chuckled with jeonghan as you finally bid your goodbyes to stay in your room, letting your brother and his guest do their own thing.

november 13th isn’t only the day you met jeonghan, but also the day he captivated your heart. the day he hung out with your brother in your home’s living room, he suggested to go ice skating with seungcheol.

“i saw the nearby lake here while i was driving and saw some people skating, you wanna get some fresh air and skate? we can call yn too, if she wants.”

seungcheol agreed to do so when suddenly you came out of your room to grab a bag of chips from the kitchen.

“oh, yn! wanna come with us?” seungcheol asked you. you looked dumbfounded for a second, still continuing to grab your food.

“where? are you guys gonna kidnap me and sell me?” you asked as you take a chip and eat it. seungcheol flipped you off while jeonghan only chuckled.

“no? what the fuck? and if we did sell you, we’ll only get 5 bucks, max,” seungcheol said, earning a gasp from you, “but seriously, you wanna go skate with us? it’s at the lake near our neighborhood.” he said. you pondered but still agreed. seungcheol and jeonghan smiled.

“alright, you guys have your own skates, right? i have mine at the back of my car.” jeonghan asked as you and seungcheol said yeah.

“yeah, go get ready then, we’ll meet you in my car.” seungcheol said grabbing his keys and your guys’ skates. you ran to your room and fixed yourself up, coming to seungcheol’s car and sit on the back passenger seat.

arriving at the lake, you, seungcheol and jeonghan wore your skates and finally walked on the frozen lake. you stared at your own reflection on the ice as seungcheol scurried off, skating and laughing away. jeonghan was just right behind him when he saw you just standing and staring down. he skated back to you, only noticing his presence when you saw his reflection on the ice as well.

“you okay?” jeonghan asked you. you sweatdropped, embarrassed about what you were thinking about.

“yeah…” you said quietly. jeonghan stared at you softly and patted your shoulder.

“you sure? because just a while ago you looked like you were about to piss yourself.” he joked as you removed his hand on your shoulder, blushing in embarrassment from his words.

“no i did not! and i’m just a little scared since i haven’t skated in a while…” you admitted to him. he chuckled and suddenly grabbed your hand.

“come with me, i won’t let go of you until you’re comfortable skating on your own, yeah?” jeonghan comforted you as he skates further to the lake, hand in hand with you. you looked at your hand with his and looked back up to the back of his head. you pursed your lips and blushed.

“okay…” you quietly said, almost silently, only hearing the loud thumps of your beating heart. november 13th was the day your heart started beating for yoon jeonghan.

“merry christmas!” loud voices roared in the lit up room as you cheered gleefully. it’s been more than a month since you’ve met jeonghan, and tonight, december 25th, you finally saw him again. after exchanging gifts, a deep voice suddenly whispered into your ear.

“they’re a little bit crazy, huh?” your friend, wonwoo, said. you chuckled and lightly slapped his shoulder.

“don’t talk bad about your friends like that, wonu.” you said to him. you met wonwoo a month ago at a local game cafe. at first, you didn’t know who kept on beating you on a fighting game, considering you’re pretty good at them. until you got tired of losing for the nth time and walked up to the arcade stall in front of yours. there you saw a dark haired man with glasses, staring at the “you win!” sign on his screen. you walked up to him and he raised his head to look at you.

“you need something from me?” he asked you. you glared at him and looked at his screen.

“are you wonwonu96?” you asked with a glare evident in your eyes. he looked you up and down and nodded his head.

“you jjkl0vr? i beated your ass pretty badly in the past few games huh?” he teasingly asked, only making you irk more.

“well, i bet you’re cheating.” you retorted as he only shook his head.

“no, but i can show you a few tricks up my sleeve?” he asked and that’s what sold you to the mysterious man who kept on beating you on the game. you later on learned his name was jeon wonwoo and that you two were the same age. surprisingly, you two clicked as soon as the one sided beef simmered down in the game. you and wonwoo got dinner together and you later found out he had encountered something unfamiliar.

“you really had the hanahaki disease?! that’s fucking crazy, i’m sorry! it’s such a rare disease…did you tell them how you felt or got the surgery?” you asked him as you sipped on your hot chocolate. wonwoo sighed and took a bite of his ramyeon.

“i got the surgery. if i told them how i felt, i could’ve turned worse.” he admitted and you gave him a soft look.

“i’m sorry, wonwoo. you truly loved them…that means you forgot who they were huh? but hey! they do say there’s a lot of fish in the sea! or something like that.” you trailed off. you two ended up sharing numbers and became game buddies. after bidding your goodbyes and going home, you called your brother about what had happened.

“jeon wonwoo? i think he’s part of my uni’s esports club. yah! yoon jeonghan! you know a jeon wonwoo?” seungcheol yelled on the phone, asking jeonghan. you didn’t comprehend what jeonghan was saying, but hearing his distorted voice still made your heart beat.

“oh, really! just found out wonwoo is also a close friend of jeonghan’s younger buddies.” seungcheol spilled to you. you hummed as you lay down on your bed.

“but yn, i forgot to tell you but i’m coming back home for christmas break. jeonghan will be coming with me too, since one of his buddies is throwing a party. you wanna come with?” your brother asked you. you pondered.

“wouldn’t i be a nuisance though?” you asked your brother. you only met wonwoo today and now your brother wants you to come with him and jeonghan to a party of jeonghan’s friend? you suddenly hear shuffling in the background. your heart started beating louder when you heard the voice.

“you’re never a nuisance, yn-ie! and besides, i’ll be there! and so is wonwoo!” jeonghan said through the phone. you smiled and sighed.

“okay fine, what should i wear?” you asked him, hearing him chuckle and telling you that whatever you wear, you’ll still be pretty no matter what, earning a slap from seungcheol.

“i’m just saying yn, but how are you holding up? i know all of these guys are a little bit overwhelming and all.” he asked. you looked up at him and shook your head.

“i’m all good, meeting the other guys wasn’t actually that scary. i really like soonyoung, seokmin and seungkwan.” you said to your friend who chuckled.

“they’re the crazy bunch.” he said as he gets dragged by vernon, who told you that “you look a lot like seungcheol but prettier”, to play beer pong. you waved goodbye to your sighing friend and watched your brother and the other group play pool. seungcheol, jihoon, joshua and jun were chaotically playing as your eyes shifted to look for a certain dark haired male. not being able to find him, you sighed and continued drinking your cup of beer.

“you looking for someone?” someone said behind you and you flinched in surprise. you turned your head and saw the person you were looking for.

“jeonghan! you scared me!” you said to him holding your chest. he laughed and stood next to you.

“is that really the first thing you say to me after we haven’t seen each other in a month? wow, i thought you would say something along the lines of “jeonghan! i missed your pretty face, come kiss me!”” he joked as you blush. how the hell does he know about your tiny crush on him?

“crush? i don’t think so. you’re not my type.” you scoffed as he only looked at you with a smirk. he leaned in closer to you.

“your brother says otherwise.” he whispered. you blushed even harder and looked at him.

“shut up…” you meekingly said as he chuckles. he patted your head and put a hand on your back.

“did you like my gift?” he asked you as he pointed at the jewelry dangling from your neck. you held the moon shaped charm and nodded your head.

“i love it.” you said to him, as he smiled at you and held your hand.

“i’m glad, you wanna join us play pool?” he asked you. you nodded and looked over where wonwoo and his friends were.

“yeah, i don’t wanna get too drunk tonight.” you said to him and he shook his head.

“i get you. they’re a noisy bunch but i love them.” he said to you. you nodded and played pool with them. however, you got dragged by minghao, mingyu, chan and soonyoung to play beer pong with them. alas, you got really drunk after playing with them. minghao kept on insisting you to allow him to cut your hair since he’s having a “vision”. you ran away from him and sloppily went to where your brother was, who was also drunk in his end.

“you’re joking.” you slurred as you see your brother slumped on the pool table with jun and jihoon taking photos of him. joshua was just laughing while jeonghan was cracking up on a couch. joshua pulled him down and put him on the couch, next to jeonghan and a girl he’s talking with. suddenly, you felt throat tighten up and your heart starts beating faster. you tapped jun’s shoulder and ask him where the bathroom was. he looked at you with concern and pointed the directions. you ran your way to the bathroom and let all of the liquor out of your system.

“yn? are you okay?” a familiar voice asked behind you. you were kneeling down on the cold tiled floor and looked back.

“i’m good, jeonghan. don’t worry! just drank too much for my own comfort.” you admitted. he kneeled beside you and started rubbing circles on your back to comfort you. you were sweaty and him being this close to you just made you feel even hotter. despite this awkward and embarrassing situation, you felt your chest tighten up and your cheeks heating up. jeonghan kept on rubbing your back.

“feeling better, angel?” he asked you in a comforting tone. you nodded your head. you stared at him with tired eyes and he looked back at you. you two were unseemingly close to each other. jeonghan cleared his throat and broke his stare. you sighed and leaned your head towards the arm you were propping up. you suddenly broke the silence.

“ever since i met you, i thought you were the prettiest man i’ve ever seen.” you drunkenly admitted to him. jeonghan only stared at you. silence filled up the bathroom, only your silent snores keeping the silence calm. noticing that you’re already asleep, jeonghan sighed to himself.

“and i’ve always thought you were the most beautiful person i’ve ever met.”

“jeonghan?” you said out loud while you were standing in front of the university’s office. you were sending some files for uni when you saw jeonghan walking with someone.

“oh, yn? are you starting uni soon?” he asked you. he walked up to you, saying a quick goodbye to the person he was walking with. you looked at the girl he was with as she walks away. you nodded your head.

“yeah, this fall.” you said to him, “how have you been?”

“i’ve been alright, but i kept on waiting on your text since new year’s night.” he chuckled as you slapped your mouth.

“oh god! i’m sorry! i was too drunk to remember i had your number!” you apologized to him as he only laughed at you and patted your head.

“it’s alright. here, put your number on my phone so i’ll be the one texting you.” he said as he gave you his phone. you nodded and put your number in his contacts. he smiled at you.

“i’ll call you when my class is over, yeah? i wanna hangout with you today.” he said as he waved goodbye to you. you blushed and slowly waved back at him. you shook your head and went back doing your business with the uni. since it was early in the morning when you saw jeonghan, you assumed he would be done by late afternoon, in which he called you.

“hey yn! where are you right now?” jeonghan asked in the phone. you were currently at a local library, trying to find a book that could keep you distracted from life.

“hi jeonghan! i’m just at evergreen’s library right now…” you trailed off, not really wanting to bring up what he said a while ago.

“oh, the library near the uni? i’ll pick you up, okay? i’ll probably be there in 5. see yaa.” he ended the call, you still blushing. you knew that you only had a crush on jeonghan just because he was mad pretty and handsome…but also because he might’ve been the sweetest yet teasing person you have met.

it’s just a small crush, you told yourself.

after pacing back and forth in the library, jeonghan finally called you telling you he was outside. you left the library and saw him in his car. he rolled up his window and revealed his blushed face, most likely from the cold. he was wearing a gray beanie and a red scarf. he turned his head towards you and smiled.

“cmon, get in.” he said. you get in the passenger seat and shyly sat in silence. he noticed your awkwardness and chuckled.

“hey, loosen up. i’m not gonna bite you or anything.” he teased. you smiled at him as he started driving. you were wondering where you guys were going.

“i know what you’re thinking, “where is this gorgeous man taking me?”, well we’re going to an ice sculpture show downtown.” he said with a smirk. you laughed at his words.

“whatever, but i didn’t know tonight was opening for the show…” you pondered. you have always loved ice and snow shows. you stare at the snow falling on the car’s windshield.

“mhm, seungcheol didn’t wanna come so it’s just us for tonight.” he said. your smile faltered for a second, but kept a focused gaze on him.

“that’s too bad. he also loves ice sculpture shows, especially when we were kids.” you said. this caught jeonghan’s attention.

“also? so you love ice sculpture shows?” he asked as you hummed.

“yeah, i just love how people get creative with their works, especially on ice.” you said as jeonghan hummed in agreement. you and jeonghan soon arrived downtown and walked together to the ice sculpture show. there were families and children taking pictures of the sculptures. you looked at the scenery in awe, with bright lights shining through the sculpted ice. the two of you walked around the show and you stopped when you saw a sculpture of a laying woman surrounded by carnations.

“it’s so beautiful…” you whispered to yourself. you were standing still in astonishment of the ice sculpture, not noticing jeonghan’s gaze on you.

“she is.” he quietly murmured. you kept on admiring the sculpture more when you finally noticed jeonghan getting closer to you. you averted your gaze to him and saw him gazing at you as well. you gulped.

“it’s a wonderful piece, isn’t it?” you asked him. the closeness of your body and his providing the both of you warmth in the winter of january. he took a breath out of his mouth.

“mhm, it is. artists are crazy talented.” he complimented, finally looking at the artist statement.

“if you were a sculptor, what would you make?” you suddenly ask him. he looked at you and wondered for a moment.

“hmm…i would probably sculpt the most beautiful person i know…or just sculpt a bunny.” he said, giggling at his last statement. you looked up at him in awe and giggled as well. his eyes softened.

“what about you, yn? what would you sculpt?” he asked. you only looked back at the sculpture.

“i would probably sculpt something meaningful to me…i’m not too sure, to be honest. i’m more of a poet than an artist.” you admitted to him. jeonghan looked at you in shock.

“ohoh! i didn’t know you were into literature and stuff like that! what’s your favorite book?” he said in awe. you lowered your face in shyness.

“i was literally just at the library a while ago, jeonghan. but yeah, i love reading and writing. i guess i could say it’s a passion of mine.” you stated. he kept his gaze on you as you kept talking, “my favorite book right now is i would say…hmm…meet me in another life? hmm yeah.”

“say, if you ever write something, like a story or a poem? would you let me read it?” he suddenly asked you, which made you instantly look at him. your eyes flickered with a glint of excitement. no one except your brother wanted to read any of your works.

“you serious?” you asked him cautiously, your heart beating faster. he nodded his head.

“why would you think i wasn’t serious?” jeonghan asked. you widen your eyes, wandering your gaze just to lose contact of his.

“dunno…but yeah, sure.” you said shyly to him. he only kept looking at you when he suddenly touched your nose. you flinched.

“what the hell, man! what was that for!” you squirmed as he just laughs.

“your nose was pink from the cold! you looked too cute.” he said with a teasing smile. you blushed furiously as you just huffed. the cold breeze of winter hitting your face only made you shiver. you dressed comfortably for today’s weather, yet somehow, you were in need of warmth. jeonghan saw your shivering state and walked to you. you looked up at him when suddenly you were being wrapped in a red scarf, your lower half of your face being covered. jeonghan giggled at the sight of you.

“you look cute.” he simply stated. you pulled his scarf closer to your face and averted your gaze, being able to smell the floral and pine scent on the scarf.

“thanks, jeonghan.” you whispered. he hummed as he looked at you, almost lovingly. all of a sudden, people started gathering around.

“mom! look! it’s the northern lights!”

“open your camera! this is like a once in a lifetime opportunity to see the aurora!”

you and jeonghan looked up and saw the dancing pink and blue lights in the sky. hints of brilliant purple and blue danced the night away from the night sky. you heard jeonghan sign in awe of the sight. you glanced at him and made eye contact with him. he smiled at you.

“beautiful isn’t it?” he whispered. you looked at him and shifted your gaze back to the sky.

“hm, it is.” you hummed. you and jeonghan stood close to each other, watching the lights sway. your fingertips touched, making your hand flinch away from his. when he hook his pinky onto yours. your breath hitched, your head looked towards him. he was still watching the aurora. you smiled softly and turned your gaze back to the lights. the sound of children cheering and people being in awe filling your ears, but not overpowering the sound of you and jeonghan’s synced heart beat. january 11th was the night you came to terms with your feelings, that you were in love with yoon jeonghan.

“oh, you’re back. how was it?” a voice asked as jeonghan entered his dorm room. jeonghan looked up and saw seungcheol laying on his bed. jeonghan removed his coat and beanie as he looked at himself on the mirror beside seungcheol’s bed.

“it was great. we even saw the northern lights tonight.” jeonghan said to seungcheol, who grumbled in annoyance.

“really? god, if only i didn’t have to do so much work load tonight, i would’ve been able to see it. did you guys took photos of it?” seungcheol asked. jeonghan nodded and gave seungcheol his phone, revealing the photos. seungcheol scrolled through the photos when suddenly he saw a notification.

yn-ie 🐰: i had a great time tonight! thanks for bringing me back home

yn-ie 🐰: i hope you have a goodnight sleep, sweet dreams :>

seungcheol stared at the notification and looked at jeonghan, who was now getting ready for bed. he softly smiled at his best friend.

“han.” seungcheol called for jeonghan. jeonghan turned his head towards him and got his phone back.

“yeah?” he asked. seungcheol sat up on his bed to face jeonghan.

“you like yn, don’t you?” he suddenly asks the long haired male. jeonghan was now staring at seungcheol with shock evident in his eyes. he averted his gaze away from seungcheol, not giving him an answer. seungcheol only sighed.

“don’t hurt her, please,” seungcheol begged, “i can tell that you like her. i don’t mind you dating my sister, but please just don’t hurt her. you know she has that condition.” jeonghan looked at seungcheol with seldom eyes.

“i don’t know, cheol. i’m scared that if i continue liking her, i might just end up hurting her. she’s so precious that i might even choose her over anything in the world. but i��m so terrified that loving her might break her.” jeonghan admitted. seungcheol looked at him with sad eyes. seungcheol breathed deeply.

“if you’re not so sure of your feelings for her, then don’t pursue her, don’t lead her on. you’ll just break her heart. do what your heart says, jeonghan.”

“goddamnit, wonu! how the fuck were you able to beat me there!” you yelled at your friend as you two sat on his couch. he laughed.

“i told you, don’t spam attack. god, you’re like the worst person to game with.” he joked. you held your chest and gasped.

“huh?! shut up!” you argued when suddenly you watched your character die again. you sobbed in annoyance. wonwoo just chuckled and rubbed your back.

“it’s gonna be alright. it’s just a game yn…here, let’s go get boba to cheer you up.” he said as he turns off the tv and grabbed you towards the door. you flipped him off, still following him towards his car, carrying a red scarf with you.

“add dorayaki to that. boba wouldn’t be enough for me to forgive you.” you said to him as he chuckled. today, february 2nd, you decided to stay at wonwoo’s for a day and decided to play against each other, as you two always do, but plans changed when you ended up throwing a tantrum, to him tending your tendencies. you two soon arrived at the boba cafe and started looking at the screened menus.

“i might get matcha brown sugar boba, what about you?” wonwoo asked you. you stared at the screen and pondered.

“i’m craving for some brown sugar cheesecake boba, oh and don’t forget my dorayaki.” you said. wonwoo nodded his head as he tells you to find a seat for you two. you walked towards the front of the cafe and sat on an empty seat. people were talking about their whereabouts as you stare outside the huge window of the cafe. suddenly, you saw a familiar face outside the flower shop, alongside another, hand in hand. your heart ached at the sight.

“jeonghan…” you whispered in your breath. after the date night with him at the ice sculpture show, has never then contacted you. you sighed. he got your number, yet didn’t even want to reach out to you. now you’re seeing him holding hands with the girl you saw at uni. you were stopped in your thoughts when wonwoo sat in front of you. he gave you your drink and pastry. you smiled at him.

“thanks, wonu. even though you keep on beating me whenever we play games.” you said as you took a sip of your boba. wonwoo chuckled.

“it’s no problem. and besides, you’ve been looking gloomier these past few weeks. anything bothering you?” he asked. you sighed and looked out the window, jeonghan and the girl still at the flower shop. you noticed them looking at carnelians and lilies. wonwoo noticed your silence and looked at what you were looking at. he looked back at you sadly.

“is it jeonghan?” he suddenly asked. you shifted your eyes to wonwoo and sadly hummed. he looked back at jeonghan.

“you know, that’s hwa-young. she’s one of those sorority girls at uni. she’s not all that to be honest.” wonwoo said as he took another sip of his boba. you suddenly looked at him in curiosity.

“she’s kinda a bitch too. i remember her telling vernon that he didn’t belong in uni. then seungkwan rocked her shit right after she said that.” you snorted at his statement. the girl, hwa-young, didn’t look mean at all, but you still believed wonwoo’s words.

“you’re joking? what happened to seungkwan?” you asked, now invested in the story. wonwoo smiled softly.

“got in trouble with the dean, and seungkwan’s reason was that what she said to vernon was racially motivated. god i remember laughing so hard when seungkwan got in trouble after that.” wonwoo laughed as you did as well. the rings of the bell of the cafe door suddenly jingled, stopping you two from laughing. there you saw jeonghan and hwa-young walking hand in hand, similar to the way you and jeonghan skated together. you pursed your lips. wonwoo sighed as he grabbed your dorayaki. you yelped and grabbed the pastry back, now grabbing your attention.

“that’s mine!” you said to him. wonwoo hummed.

“don’t worry about hwa-young, yn. she’s nothing but a piece of crap.” wonwoo reassured you as you just nodded your head. you kept your gaze outside as you finally hear the bells ring again. now you saw jeonghan and hwa-young leave with their drinks. your heart started clenching onto nothing and it made you breathe hard. you held your chest and wonwoo widen his eyes.

“yn, are you okay?” he asked concerningly. he looked around and grabbed your hand, “let’s get some fresh air, okay?” he suggested as he grabbed your drinks and pastry and went outside. the snow is still falling even though february has come to the new year. you breathed deeply as the cold breeze hit your face. you held the red scarf close to your face, feeling the warmth of nobody. wonwoo looked at you with concern as he pats your back, settling the drinks on an empty bench.

“breathe slowly, yn. there you go…you feeling better?” he asked as you nodded. you felt better but the tightness of your throat and chest didn’t leave. you breathe slowly, wonwoo helping you in the process. you looked up at him and smiled.

“thank you, wonwoo…i think we should get back to your place.” you suggested. he nodded his head as you two went back to his car. the ride back to his apartment was silent, but comforting. he helped you get out of the car and let you rest up on the guest bedroom. you felt helpless. helpless that you can’t do anything at all. helpless that you can’t even tell jeonghan that you love him. helpless that you’re so sure that you have lost him. you sobbed in silence, your throat tightening up in every breath you take. you laid in silence as the hours go, with wonwoo checking up you every once in a while. you opened your phone and opened your contacts. you closed your eyes and took a deep breath, your heart thumping on your chest. nothing’s going to happen if i don’t do anything, you thought.

you: hey jeonghan, can we talk?

you pressed send as you wait for a respond. not even a minute later, he replied.

hannie bunnie: yeah, where do you wanna meet up?

you: you know the children’s park near uni?

hannie bunnie: yeah, what do you wanna talk about?

you: i’ll see you in 10, thank you

hannie bunnie: ???

hannie bunnie: okay, fine, see you in a bit

you grabbed your coat and the red scarf he gave you. you smiled softly and left the room. wonwoo was at the kitchen cooking. he looked at you.

“you going somewhere?” he asked. you shook your head.

“just going for a stroll. i’ll be back in a few. see ya.” you said as wonwoo bids you goodbye. you walked towards the destination, staring at the snow on the ground. you huffed as the coldness striked you again. arriving at the park, you saw a figure by the swings. your footsteps approached the figure as he turned his head towards you. jeonghan looked at you and smiled softly. you didn't return the smile back.

“it’s been a while, yn.” he said as he sat down on a swing. you hummed as you sit down on the swing next to his. you two sat in silence in the cold winter. he suddenly cleared his throat.

“so how have you been?” he asked you. you scoffed and looked up at the sky.

“i’ve been good. all my paper for uni are getting finished soon. what about you?” you asked him, still looking at the sky, snow falling down your face.

“i’ve been okay too…” he trailed off. you were getting restless. you wanted to tell him how you felt now. but the tightness of your throat was stopping you. he still kept his gaze on you as you stared up. he sighed.

“yn, why did you want to talk?” he suddenly asked. you gulped, the words ready to be revealed stuck in your throat. you couldn’t say anything. you stood up and started walking away. this is embarrassing, you thought. you stopped in your tracks when you heard jeonghan’s footsteps behind yours.

“i just wanted to see you.” you said, your back still facing him. jeonghan scoffed.

“really? because your eyes says otherwise. what did you want to talk about, yn. be honest with me.” he demanded. you turned your body towards him and finally looked him in the eyes for the first time. he stared at your gaze that was full of fear and love.

“yoon jeonghan.” you said sternly. he breathed heavily as he looks at you with such immense emotion in his eyes. you closed your eyes and breathed deeply.

“i like you.” you said, almost a whisper being buried in the snow. jeonghan just stood in his spot, mouth agape. you looked into his eyes and there was a glint of hope, but soon disappeared. jeonghan closed his eyes and sighed.

“i’m sorry, yn…but i can’t return your feelings.” he finally said. your breath hitched, sobs and tears fighting their way out of your body. you composed yourself and you smiled sadly.

“that’s alright…thank you for hearing me out, jeonghan.” you said to him as he only stare at you in place, “we can still be friends though, right? a little crush wouldn’t hurt our friendship, right?” you said with a chuckle. jeonghan only looked at you with sad eyes.

“yeah, of course. i’m sorry.” he apologized again as you shook your head. you then started unwrapping the scarf from your neck and held it. jeonghan stared at it.

“i forgot to give this back to you then. here, it helped me keep warm.” you said, giving the scarf back when jeonghan pushed the scarf back to you. you looked up at him. he smiled softly.

“you can have it. if i can’t keep you warm this winter, that scarf will.” he said. you smiled softly and turned your back to him.

“again, thank you for letting me feel this way. i hope you have a good night, jeonghan. be safe.” you said your farewell as you started walking away, not looking back as the tears finally released itself. jeonghan watched your moving figure walk away from him. his heart stings but shakes it away.

“be safe, yn.” after walking away from the park, you fell to the ground and sobbed. the feelings you were tucking away from everyone has now come out. you cried as tears kept flowing down your rosy cheeks. you knew the consequences of your actions, but now being able to feel what you were thinking hurts more. you stood up from the snowy pavement and started walking towards wonwoo’s apartment. your sobs and heartbeat were the only things you could hear. nearing the apartment, you suddenly feel your throat tighten up, making you feel sick. you ran to wonwoo’s apartment door and knocked furiously. wonwoo immediately opened the door as you rush to the bathroom. you fell down to your knees as you throw up in the toilet. your throat burned from the sensation, almost feeling being pricked by thorns. your tears blurring your vision, not being able to see things clearly.

“yn…who was it?” wonwoo asked behind you, rubbing your back in circles. you shot your head up in curiosity.

“what do you mean?” you asked him, voice hoarse. wonwoo held you in his arms.

“roses. you threw up roses, yn. who was it?” his voice stammered as your eyes widen. you blink the tears away and looked at the toilet. there it was, full of rose petals, some even in full bloom. you felt sick and threw up again. wonwoo held you close. you only sobbed in his arms, not being able to answer him. february 2nd was the day your heart screamed roses.

“happy valentines!”

“happy valentines and birthday, jaehyun!”

“aw thank you! have you seen jungkook though?”

the university campus roared as valentines day filled the whole university. seungcheol stared at his friends at their lunch spot. every single one of them got valentine gifts, including him. he watched mingyu and soonyoung argue who got the most chocolates. he chuckled at the two. only one person was missing in the group. seungcheol turned his head towards joshua, who got a handmade gift and chocolate from his girlfriend. he nudged his friend.

“where’s jeonghan?” he asked the auburn haired male. joshua looked around and raised his brows.

“he told me he would be here in a few minutes…it’s been almost 20 minutes.” joshua replied. seungcheol facepalmed as he ate one of the chocolates he was given. suddenly, seungcheol was tapped by the shoulder, he looked behind him.

“oh, yuta. what’s up?” he asked the long red haired male behind him. yuta sighed in exasperation.

“jeonghan got stuck with his fangirls. he told me to tell you guys before he got engulfed in chocolates.” yuta said as he walked away, not giving seungcheol time to get up. joshua heard yuta and came with seungcheol. the others just stared at the eldest and shrugged it off, continuing to bicker. wonwoo, however, just looked at the two with gloomy eyes. mingyu looked at his friend.

“is something wrong, wonwoo?” mingyu asked. wonwoo shook his head.

“it’s nothing.”

seungcheol and joshua followed yuta through the halls and saw a group of girls surrounding someone, assuming it’s jeonghan. yuta sighed when he saw someone in the crowd.

“oh, hyungs!” he called out. the person turned around and waved his hand. seungcheol and joshua followed yuta to his friends.

“oh, i remember being in sophomore year and getting lots of gifts!” the red head said to the group of boys. the other male next to him agreed.

“yeah, i got lots of chocolates back then. too bad we’re depressed juniors now.” the raven haired male joked. yuta laughed as seungcheol and joshua chuckled. the raven haired male suddenly looked at the two.

“oh hey, cheollie and joshie” he said. they both greeted him back.

“hey, hobi hyung, jongin hyung. do you think you two can help us get our friend out of that swarm of ladies?” joshua said, earning a laugh from the two older males. jongin nodded his head and suddenly pushed through the crowd, hoseok did the same. yuta watched in awe while joshua and seungcheol watched in fear. just what the hell are they doing.

“hey!” hoseok suddenly yelled, “i have photos of jungkook shirtless! come to me if you wanna see them!” he said as he started running away when the girls started chasing him. jongin held jeonghan in place, preventing him from being trampled over. yuta laughed at the scene. jongin brought jeonghan back to his friends and smiled proudly.

“here you go, now i gotta get hobi back…see ya!” he said ss he chased his friend with the other girls. yuta chuckled and followed jongin. joshua and seungcheol just looked at jeonghan in disappointment. jeonghan raised his hands in defense.

“i didn’t do anything wrong!” he defended. seungcheol just looked at him in annoyance.

“yet you still let them surround you like that? god, hannie you need someone that’ll knock the sense out of you.” joshua argued as they started walking back to their spot. joshua and jeonghan filled up the silence as seungcheol just walked in front of them. they went back with their group and seungkwan finally clapped his hands.

“i have an announcement to make!” he said as he was pulled down by seokmin.

“sit down!” seoksoon said as seungkwan just glared at them. minghao chuckled.

“jungkook hyung is holding a valentines party tonight. he told me this morning that we’re welcome to come and i guess since we don’t have any plans for tonight, for some reason because we ALWAYS have plans during valentines, we should go.” he stated. the rest of the group stared at him when jun broke the silence.

“i think we should go.” he suggested. the others started agreeing then. seungkwan cleared his throat again.

“he also said if you have a date, bring them with you.” he added. the group agreed and started naming people they were bringing, while some said they would rather just get drunk tonight at the party.

“joshua, are you bringing your girlfriend?” seungcheol asked. joshua nodded his head.

“you?” joshua asked, seungcheol also said yeah. the two then looked at jeonghan, who glanced at them.

“what?” jeonghan asked the two males. joshua sighed.

“are you bringing anyone tonight at jungkook’s party?” he asked. jeonghan sighed and shook his head.

“nah…” he answered. however, minghao heard him.

“you’re not bringing your precious hwa-young with you?” he retorted. seungcheol raised his brows on his statement. jeonghan rubbed his eyes.

“me and hwa-young are just friends.” he argued back to minghao, who pulled back away from his seat.

“okay, okay, i was just saying because you two are getting awfully close to each other.” minghao said as he pondered for a moment. he then looked slyly at jeonghan.

“what about yn?” he asked. seungcheol made a face at minghao who just chuckled.

“hey, i mean, your sister is SOOO pretty and sweet, hyung. jeonghan hyung, if you’re not going with her, can i?” minghao teased as he got hit on the shoulder by seungcheol, who was also chuckling.

“my sister isn’t a toy that you can just pass around.” seungcheol defended you. minghao pouted and talked with jun and dino instead. he then looked at jeonghan.

“are you bringing yn?” seungcheol asked jeonghan. jeonghan’s breath hitched. he just shook his head no, when suddenly a voice came in.

“i’m bringing yn with me, is that okay, seungcheol?” wonwoo announced in the group. everyone suddenly went silent and looked at wonwoo, even seungcheol was surprised, even though he knew you and wonwoo are getting to the stage of being best friends. everyone was now looking at seungcheol, waiting for his answer.

“yeah, you can. you don’t have to ask permission, she’s your friend. i’m just her brother.” he answered. he felt jeonghan on his side tensed up on his answer. wonwoo hummed in satisfaction as they all continued talking again. seungcheol looked back at jeonghan.

“jeonghan, did something happen between you and yn?” he asked. jeonghan didn’t answer. seungcheol sighed and slumped back on his seat.

“hyung! did you really sell photos of me shirtless?!”

“yah, jungkookie, i was just doing business, that’s all!”

“that’s pretty funny, hobi hyung. i should’ve seen it.”

“what the photo or hobi hyung being trampled on by those students?”

“the photo so i could burn it.”

“there’s a lot of people here, wonu…” you said in between coughs. wonwoo held you close to him.

“it’s okay, yn. and besides, we’re all friends here. we’ll go to my buddies and we'll stay there, okay?” he reassured you. you were wearing a mini dress with a bedazzled handbag. you were terrified that you might accidentally throw up and cause a scene, not with vomit but with flower petals. you nodded your head as you walk towards the 97’s of the group. seokmin greeted you with a hug.

“yn! i haven’t seen you in a while! we should’ve exchanged numbers so we could talk!” he enthusiastically said. you nodded your head with a smile.

“i know, seokminnie! hey minghao! mingyu!” you greeted your friends. they both hugged you and told you how their day was. wonwoo tapped you on the shoulder.

“i’m gonna go with soonyoung and the others real quick. will you be fine by then?” he asked. you nodded your head.

“yeah, i think so. i have them here so i think i’ll be fine.” you said as he pats your head and walks away. the three just watched the interaction. mingyu sighed.

“i wish i had my own wonwoo…ah, wonwoo…” he groaned as you laughed.

“you’re so silly, mingyu. you can have him.” you said as he chuckled. you four talked for a while when someone wrapped their arms around mingyu’s neck.

“yah, mingyu-ah! can you believe it! hyung sold my shirtless photos…only for 10 bucks! am i really that cheap!” the brown haired male groaned to his tall friend. minghao stifled a laugh while seokmin just laughed hysterically.

“ah, really jungkook? i would say those photos are just around 5 bucks…hoseok hyung was being generous…” mingyu teased the male when he looked at you.

“oh hey! i haven’t seen you around! i’m jungkook.” he introduced himself. you smiled at him.

“hi, i’m yn. it’s your party right? it’s fucking crazy.” you complimented as he hides his face with his hands.

“oh you flatter me! well it was nice meeting you- oh yugyeomie! bambam! you guys are late!” he yelled, walking to the guests who just arrived. you stared at the man in awe while mingyu looked at you.

“he has that effect on people. i swear he’s like…edna mode.” he said as you, seokmin and minghao just stared at him.

“what does that even mean?” seokmin asked. mingyu shrugged his shoulders as he took a sip from his cup. you suddenly felt your phone vibrate and took it out of your hand bag.

wonuuu: saury but kwan dragged me to play beer pong

wonuuu: might get drunk idk stay with kyeom or hao, gyu is too crazy for you

wonuuu: 🕺🏻

you laughed at his texts and showed them to your friends, who laughed at it. mingyu grumbled.

“guys, be honest, am i too crazy?” he asked you three. you felt bad since the tone in his voice actually sounded sad, but this feeling disappeared when minghao said “yes” in a millisecond. you three laughed while mingyu faked cried, with you comforting him. suddenly, minghao stopped laughing and nudged seokmin’s elbow. he looked towards the distance. you followed where he was looking and almost regretted doing it so. jeonghan was walking with hwa-young, with his hand on her hips. you could feel your throat tightening up again. mingyu saw you and held you close. you gulped. minghao looked at you in concern.

“yn, are you okay?” he asked you. you nodded your head. seokmin walked next to you and comforted you as well. he could tell that you suddenly looked uncomfortable. you breathed heavily when you saw the two walked up to you four. hwa-young was greeting the three males, not even giving you a single glance, whereas jeonghan was looking at you, almost regretful in his eyes. you held on to mingyu, scared to move, scared that the flowers blooming in your lungs might come out of your throat. hwa-young noticed your hold on mingyu.

“who’s this? heyyy! i’m lim hwa-young! are you and mingyu dating?” she asked you. you gulped and shook your head no, your grip of mingyu only became stronger. you could feel it. you could feel the thorns blooming out of your throat.

“no, they’re not, hwa-young. and that’s yn, cheol’s sister.” jeonghan answered for you. you were in shock. minghao and seokmin noticed the tension between you three and stood next to you. mingyu, on the other hand, was confused. being an athlete means you spend less time with your friends and more time with your teammates, meaning that mingyu had no clue why jeonghan brought hwa-young with him.

“why the fuck are you with him?” he suddenly blurted out. seokmin widens his eyes. you were frozen now. why? because the people surrounding you were now staring.

“huh? what do you mean “why am i with him”? he’s my date. right, hannie?” hwa-young asked the long haired male next to her. jeonghan didn’t say a word, but he only looked into your eyes. you looked back into his and sighed.

“right, hannie? i’m your date?” hwa-young asked jeonghan again, this time, he was out of his trance.

“oh yeah.” he simply said, pulling her closer to his body. mingyu just looked at him confused.

“but isn’t she a shitty person?” he deadpanned. minghao was now panicking, pulling his friend away from the scene.

“huh?! shitty person?! what are you talking about?” hwa-young argued when someone stepped in between them.

“YA’LL, LET’S KARAOKE!!!” jungkook yelled, everyone now distracted and started doing their own thing again. hwa-young scoffed and walked away from the scene. jeonghan tried to hold her hand but she shook it away. jeonghan just stood in his spot watching her walk away. seokmin held you as minghao held mingyu back, explaining some things he had missed. you watched as jeonghan’s hand held hers for a moment. you stared at his hand and back to his face, making sudden eye contact with him. you can feel your lungs about to burst, and so is your heart. jungkook, still between jeonghan and mingyu, looked at you with concern.

“yn-ssi, you look pale. are you okay? do you need to go to the bathroom?” he asked you. not being able to say anything, you nodded your head. jungkook told you the directions and tried to come with you, but you stopped him. you ran towards the bathroom, seeing a glimpse of jeonghan’s worried eyes. you accidentally bumped into someone as you ran. you looked up at the person and saw familiar, related eyes. seungcheol.

“yn?” he said as you just ran past him. you ran to the bathroom and closed the door. you kneeled down the toilet and cried out your tears. you threw up all the contents of your lungs. roses, petunias and daffodils filling up the toilet. you closed your eyes to calm yourself down when you suddenly thought of how jeonghan held hwa-young close to him, holding her waist, closer to his body. you felt sick and threw up once again, now red poppies, red carnations and mums coming out of your throat. you could feel the thorns of roses in your throat. you coughed once again and saw what you dreaded the most, blood. as you were throwing up, you didn’t notice the door being opened and closed again.

“yn…what’s this…?” the voice asked you. you refused to look at the person behind you. you sniffled as tears started to pour out. the person started walking to you and gasped.

“you’re fucking kidding…hanahaki…yn, who is it?” the voice asked. you shook your head no, refusing to say his name out of your mouth. the person kneeled next to you and turned your body towards them. you refused to look into their eyes. you can tell they were furious.

“yn! tell me! who is it!” they demanded. you refused when suddenly you hear them sobbing, matching yours. you finally looked into their eyes. red. same as yours. pain and regret in their eyes, tears flowing down their face. he held your face in his hands as you cried.

“is it jeonghan?” he asked. you looked at your brother and nodded your head weakly. his breath hitched and removed his hands on face. he was crying as hard as you are.

“why?” he asked you. you looked at him in confusion.

“what? what do you mean why?” you asked seungcheol. he looked into your eyes, tears still pouring out.

“why are you allowing yourself to suffer? does anyone else know? just how long have you been suffering?” he asked you. you were crying again, coughing up some petals as you go. you rubbed your eyes.

“2nd of february,” you sniffled, “was when it started. wonwoo first saw it.” you cried into the arms of your older brother. he sighed and held you close to his body.

“yn, you should get the surgery…it’s better to get it now since your condition isn’t bad-”

“no! i don’t want that! i would rather die than erase the memories of the person i love! i would rather watch from afar than forgetting his whole existence! i’m more scared of losing him than facing death.” you argued to your brother, pulling away from his hold. seungcheol’s eyes started to water as he blinks the tears away.

“what the fuck are you talking about! you would rather lose your own life for love? yn, please! think! no one wants you to suffer to death! i don’t want you to die! i’m your brother for god sake! we only have each other!” seungcheol cried, now kneeling beside you, cradling your weak frame. you sniffled.

“seungcheol, i’ve always made sacrifices for everyone…let me be selfish for once…please, cheol, just this once.” you begged seungcheol. you two sat in silence, your sniffles and hard breathing filling up the ambience.

“yn…you know i can’t do that. please, just consider the surgery. please, yn. i don’t want to lose my sister.” he held you tight in his arms as you both cried the night of valentines away, on the bloodied floor of red carnations.

“hey wonwoo.” you said weakly, as you put your book and pen on your bedside table. wonwoo sits on your bed, and looked at you with somber and concern. he held your hand as his lips pursed.

“hi yn…are you feeling any better?” he asked you. you and seungcheol talked to your parents about the unspoken disease you have caught 3 days after the incident at jungkook’s party. your parents held you tight the whole time you were talking about it. they wanted you to get the surgery but also wanted to respect your decision, so now, they’re giving you a week to make a choice, either get the surgery or keep living until your body cannot handle the disease anymore. of course, they thought they could convince you to take the surgery on the last day. but for now, you were resting.

“i’m okay, wonwoo. but it still hurts.” you said, pointing to your chest. wonwoo sighed and rubbed your hand.

“i know, yn…” he said, almost having to say more. you quirked an eyebrow.

“are you going to say more?” you asked the man with glasses. he only looked at you and patted your head.

“yn, take the surgery.” he said. you coughed and shook your head.

“i don’t want to forget jeonghan, wonu. you know that.” you admitted. his eyebrows knitted.

“but yn, look at me. i took the surgery for my sake, even i probably didn’t wanna do it before. i forgot who that person was. i forgot the person that i loved so much, yet i lived. i lived and now i have met people that are precious to me. yn, please, we, your friends, want you to live on. so does jeonghan, he wants you to live.” he admitted. you widen your eyes, despite your limited body mobility.

“jeonghan…said that? does he know?” you asked him weakly. wonwoo shook his head.

“he knows about your condition, but we didn’t tell him it was because of him…he told us how he kept on calling and texting you, how he wanted to talk to you more.” wonwoo said, patting your head, “but he wants you to live…your condition is getting worse day by day. please yn, live, live for us, live for jeonghan.” wonwoo pleaded. you only looked at his hand when you suddenly hear sniffles. wonwoo was crying. you hated seeing him like this. you held up your hand and patted his head. he looked up at you and you smiled weakly.

“if it means for me to get more boba and wins, i’ll live for all of you.”

“are you ready, yn?” your brother asked you as you lay down on the hospital bed. march 2nd was the day of your surgery, and the day your memories of yoon jeonghan will disappear from the world. you smiled sadly at him, feeling your body break down on its own, knowing that you’re already too weak to actually do anything but lay down. he told you that 12 of his friends will visit you before your surgery. the doctor has told you to rest for at least 24 hours before the surgery. now, you only have 5 hours left. suddenly, the door opened, revealing 12 guys. you smiled at them.

“YN!!” mingyu and seokmin cried out loud as they ran to your bed. you jolt in surprise as seungcheol smacked their sides.

“calm down!” he said to them. seungkwan, hoshi and dino came next and told you that you’re gonna have a good recovery and surgery, and that you don’t have to be nervous. by their tone, they were more nervous than you were.

“you’re NOT going to die, yn!” seungkwan said. you sweatdropped.

“hyung is right, yn-noona. don’t be pessimistic about it!” dino stated.

“yeah! just think like you’re going to the dentist or something!” hoshi enthusiastically said.

minghao, jun and wonwoo came next. jun cried to you telling you that he’s going to miss your pretty face, in which seungcheol had him in a chokehold. minghao told you that whatever happens, you will always be an important person and you have served a purpose. it made you wonder for a second if they thought you were going to die. wonwoo then held your hand.

“yn, i know that the surgery will be a success. just look at me,” he chuckled, “but i love you, as your best friend, and stay strong for the surgery.” he said and kissed your forehead.

jihoon, vernon and joshua then walked up to you and told you reassuring words.

“it’s going to be okay, love can be subjective, but it’s so powerful that only you can overcome it.” jihoon said to you.

“after the surgery, let’s go get boba and dorayaki. wonwoo hyung told me you love them. have a safe surgery, noona.” vernon told you as he smiled.

“tell you what, i’ll treat you after surgery as well. we can go wherever you want.” joshua reassured.

your brother only smiled at you, not really wanting to give you words after he just did a when you woke up.

“yn. whatever happens, when you start to forget who jeonghan is, as your brother, i’ll make sure to give the love you deserve and i’ll make sure you find the love you have always dreamed of. i love you. let’s live a long life, okay?”

you were still admiring your brother when you felt a presence by your side.

“jeonghan…” you whispered, almost silently. he smiled softly at you. he then looked at seungcheol and he nodded.

“i’ll let you guys talk. we’ll see you in a bit.” seungcheol said as he pushed the 11 boys out of your room. soonyoung suddenly yelled.

“but i still wanna talk to her!-” the door shuts as you and jeonghan stay put, eyes not looking at one another. he stood right next to you and sighed.

“i…didn’t know that you had it. i’m so sorry, yn.” he apologized. you finally looked into his eyes and smiled softly.

“it’s okay, really. i’ll forget them anyways.” you said to him. he stared into your eyes and placed his hand on top of yours. he opened his mouth.

“i guess so…” he sat in silence, trying to find the right words to talk to you. you looked up at him as he rubbed your hand.

“yn-ie…you don’t deserve this.” he said, now starting to caress your ill cheeks. you blinked slowly at him and hummed. you unconsciously nuzzled on to his hand. he smiled softly.

“even in your worst condition, you’re still the most beautiful person i’ve ever met.” he commented. you chuckled lightly when you suddenly coughed, carnation petals coming out of your mouth. he rubbed your back and comforted you.

“i look pretty terrible right now, thanks.” you said as you continue gazing at him. he brushed a strand of hair away from your face and held you.

“yn-ie…remember when we first met? the time when i helped you get back on skating?” he asked you suddenly. you nodded your head weakly.

“the moment i saw you, i thought to myself “there’s no way that’s seungcheol’s sister” because i thought you were so beautiful, as beautiful as a blooming rose.” he admitted. you looked at him sadly and pursed your lips.

“then i remembered what type of person i was. most of the girls i pursue, i just hurt them. i didn’t want to hurt you, you’re too precious for this world,” he said, now sobbing, “i pushed these feelings away, even when we went to the ice sculpture show, i tried so hard to push these feelings away. but the moment i saw your eyes shine watching the aurora, i just knew i…i love you. i didn’t want to admit to my own feelings, but deep down i knew i care for you.”

“ cheol told me how precious you are to him, and i don’t want to break you, so i pushed you away from me, so that these feelings i have for you disappear. it did, for a while, but when you confessed to me that one winter night, i felt so…guilty and angry at myself. so angry that i couldn’t even face myself the next day. so angry that i wasn’t able to come to terms with my own feelings for you. i was so angry that i tried to push these feelings away and try to pursue another girl.i wanted to be so selfish, so selfish to tell you that i love you. but i couldn’t…because i know i will only end up hurting you.” he finally finished, now he was looking at you teary eyed. you looked at him as tears come down your face.

“you love me?” you asked in a weak tone, coughing again, now roses and blood. jeonghan grabbed the sanitary kit to clean you up. you thanked him.

“of course, i did…i had to push the feelings away so i wouldn’t hurt you…” he said. you looked at him sadly.

“oh…jeonghan, do you ever wonder who caused me to turn out this way?” you asked him somberly.

“may i ask who it is?” he asked you. you chuckled lightly to his statement. he looked at you confusingly.

“what is it?” he asked you genuinely. you held his hand that was placed on your hand, you looked into his eyes.

“jeonghan, it’s you. you’re the one i love.” you confessed. his face has gone pale and his breath hitched. his eyes watered and blinked the tears away.

“oh my god…no…” he whispered to himself. you shushed him and held his hand. you smiled sadly at him.

“jeonghan…hannie…it’s alright. i love every memory we shared together. you were a wonderful experience.” you smiled at him. he cried as he held your face.

“i’m so sorry…i really am sorry.” he apologized to you. you could feel your heart beat slow down in the moment. you placed your forehead against his.

“don’t apologize, jeonghan. i guess we weren’t just meant to be together…” you quietly whispered. jeonghan raised his head to meet your eyes.

“what are you talking about, yn-ie?” he asked. you smiled up at him and held his hand. you coughed more and placed his hand on your chest.

“it’s not beating properly anymore. you feel it? even if i get the surgery, i’ll die anyways. hannie, i’ve come into terms with my feelings for you, and i’ve also come into terms that we aren’t just meant for each other. we hurt each other in ways that we show that we love each other. you love me yet you pushed me away because of past experiences, so that you could protect. i love you yet i loved you too hard and hurt myself in the process. maybe, just maybe, we were just meant to cross paths and nothing else.” you said to him, your voice breaking. jeonghan sobbed in your arms.

“so, this is it?” he asked. you nodded weakly. he interlocked his fingers with yours.

“you were everything to me, yn.” he whispered into your ear. you could now hear your heartbeat clearly, beating slowly.

“i love you, jeonghan.”

“i love you too, yn…i love you so much…can i kiss you?” you nodded. that day, march 2nd, the last thing you heard was your heart monitor beeping. that day, the last thing you felt was your first and last kiss with yoon jeonghan, the person you have loved and died for.

“let’s meet again, in another lifetime.”

“jeonghan!” a voice yelled. the said male turned around and saw his friend, “wait up!”

“what is it, cheol?” jeonghan said to his friend. his hair was now longer than it did 2 months ago. his friend, seungcheol, has dyed his hair in a new color, his sister’s favorite color.

“the guys want to go karaoke tonight. are you up for it?” he asked the long haired male. jeonghan nodded his head.

“yeah sure, i have to stop by at the library near uni though.” he said to his friend. seungcheol nodded his head and told jeonghan to just meet him at their dorm room. jeonghan walked towards the library and looked through sections per sections. he coughed every now and then, going through books that haven’t been read. seeing a glimpse of what he needed, he checked the book out. the librarian, she smiled at him.

“meet me in another life, huh? this is a great book. i’m surprised only you and another regular read this book. have a great time reading it.” the librarian said. jeonghan smiled at her. walking back to his dorms. he suddenly felt his chest tighten up.

god, not again.

he ran to the nearest bathroom and locked the stall. he kneeled down and poured out all of the contents in his stomach. he stared at the toilet bowl and sobbed quietly. he flushed the toilet immediately and went back to his dorm, as if nothing happened. what he didn’t notice was that red carnation petals fell on to the floor. on that day, may 2nd, yoon jeonghan will have the same fate as ln yn. bound to end the same, never bound to end together.

[verdantglow]

Fuck it, posts my SmallEtho playlist.

Part-Time Soulmate, Full-Time Problem: A SmallEtho/Boat Boys Playlist

(Best listened to on shuffle.)

This is a kinda long playlist (28 tracks), so if you only have time for a few songs, check out: ‘Pyrokenesis’; ‘I Am Fred Astaire’; & ‘Built To Burn.’

Full track list & selected lyrics under cut.

1. Son of a Gun - Motion City Soundtrack

Have you had enough? Are you tough? Are you broken?/Hit me where it hurts, don’t just curtsey & sulk/I know I deserve every elegant word that you’re hurling at me

2. Pyrokenesis - 7chariot

When you say the things you say, they start a little spark/Ignite this small but also highly flammable heart

You’re setting me on fire, I don’t wanna fight it/You don’t need a lighter, you’re a flame/Drowning myself in water only makes it harder/Hard for me to keep myself away

3. Just One Yesterday - Fall Out Boy

I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way/Still I’d trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday

4. Violently Alive - I Hate Kate

I hate that you’re there/And I’m here/In the same room/Miles from me to you/We’re so distant/But close enough to touch

5. Tiger Teeth - Walk The Moon

Give in, give in, I want you back/One heart, one too many to stomach/Love bites so deep and we got tiger teeth

6. It’s Not A Fashion Statement, It’s A Deathwish - My Chemical Romance

Hip-hip-hooray for me, you talk to me/But would you kill me in my sleep?/Lay still like the dead/From the razor to the rosary, we could lose ourselves/And paint these walls in pitchfork red

7. True Romance - Motion City Soundtrack

I’m a screwup of epic proportions/A walking hand grenade/Hyper-manic, a dime store dramatic/A conduit for pain

She said “Don’t speak, don’t think,/Just take it off, take it off”/I said “Don’t speak, don’t think,/Just mess me up, mess me up”

8. Violence - blink-182

Like violence, you have me, forever and after/Like violence, you kill me, forever and after

9. I Am Fred Astaire - Taking Back Sunday

I’m under the assumption that I’m gonna be the one that’s leaving you/Tonight, oh, tonight/Well I flipped every switch that I could find on my way out/Just to upset you more/Just to keep you busy/Just to make you angry/Just because you were right

I’m stuttering through it, but I hear it/Well I-I I hear it’s good t-t-to stick to what you know

10. The Wolf - The Crane Wives

I am not a tempest/I light torches in my sleep/I have gasoline in my veins/I am always burning, burning burning

11. Crave - Waterparks

I’m cravin’ a getaway from the/Smooth talk that’s keeping me grounded/To the carpet in my room/My quiet blue tomb of you

I wish I could forget you

12. Hold Me Like A Grudge - Fall Out Boy

Hold me, hold me like a grudge/The world is always spinning and I can’t keep up/Faster and faster, can’t do it on my own/Part-time soulmate, full-time problem yeah/Hold me like a grudge

13. Formidable - Twenty One Pilots

You are formidable to me/‘Cause you seem to know it, where you wanna go/Yeah yeah yeah I’ll follow you/But you should know/I might be cynical towards you/But I just can’t believe that I’m for you/Yeah yeah yeah I can die with you/Just let me know

14. Play With Fire - Sam Tinnesz feat Yacht Money

I ride the edge/My speed goes in the red/Hot blood, these veins/My pleasure is their pain/I love to watch the castles burn/These golden ashes turn to dirt/I’ve always liked to play with fire

15. Bulletproof Heart - My Chemical Romance

I’ve got a bulletproof heart/You’ve got a hollow point smile/Me and your runaway scars/Got photographed dream on the getaway mile/Let’s blow a hole in this town/And do our talking with a laser beam/Gunnin’ out of this place in a bullet’s embrace/Then we’ll do it again

16. The Truth Is, You Should Lie With Me - Say Anything

You’re a pretty face, you should like me/I want to get used by you/‘Cause I’m full of hate, just excite me/I want to get bruised by you

17. Red - Pale Waves

Oh no baby, are we gonna make it this time?/I always take hearts that shouldn’t be mine, be mine/Slow down baby, are we gonna make it alive?/You’ve got a face that I always recognize/Always recognize

18. Kill V. Maim - Grimes

I did something bad, maybe I was wrong/Sometimes people says that I’m a big time bomb/But I’m only a man/And I do what I can

19. FUNERAL GREY - Waterparks

I said that you can call me, beep me/If you want my skin/She rolled her eyes and then she said/“I know your dying wish is to be baptized in my spit”

20. Shiver - Motion City Soundtrack

Shiver away, I thought the action was real/Somewhere I know that’s just the way you are/it’s hard to believe that you’re a part of me/And I can’t believe when you carry on and on

21. Kiss With A Fist - Florence + The Machine

My black eye casts no shadow/Your red eye sees nothing/Your slaps don’t stick, your kicks don’t hit/So we remain the same/Love sticks, sweat drips/Break the lock if it don’t fit/A kick to the teeth is good for some/A kiss with a fist is better than none

22. Mr. Brightside- The Killers

It started out with a kiss/How did it end up like this/It was only a kiss/It was only a kiss

23. Tear You Apart - She Wants Revenge

Escape was just a nod and a casual wave/Obsess about it heavy for the next two days/It’s only just a crush, it’ll go away/It’s just like all the others, it’ll go away/Or maybe this is danger and he just don’t know/You pray it all away, but it continues to grow

24. Can You Feel My Heart (Remix) - Bring Me The Horizon, Jeris Johnson

I’m scared to get close/And I hate being alone/I long for that feeling to not feel at all

Holding on, bring me close, feel my heart/Can you feel my heart?

25. Built To Burn - Shaffer James

We’ll build a world/And burn it down/Everything is pretty/When we burn it to the ground

26. Hatef—k - The Bravery

There will be no tenderness, no tenderness/I will show no mercy for you/You had no mercy for me/The only thing that I ask/Love me mercilessly

27. Stupid For You - Waterparks

You’re playing ring around my head/I’ll wear you like a halo/You’re a symphony/I’m just a sour note/I’ll take what I can get/The best is hard to grip when everybody wants you/And everybody wants you

28. My Obsession - Pale Waves

I’m stood still, I can barely breathe/You’re such a mess but you’re always beautiful to me/Run your fingers across my mouth/I’m not prepared to stay here without you

[blueparadis]

𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐅 ; 𝐑𝐀𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐈

+. [ PAIRING ] — ran haitani x female!reader.

+. [ SYNOPSIS ] — Haitani brothers wrecking havoc in the area came across a unfamiliar face. While Ran was amused how his intimidating aura didn't scare you Rindou was actually surprised how someone was interested in him rather than his brother.

+. [ ABOUT ] — bonten au + mafia au, satire, romance, drama, erotica, semi-canon divergent, semi-linear timeline, mention of bonten arc, tenjiku arc , violence, profanity. ( fem!reader, explicit and non-explicit eventual smut, hierarchy corruption, mention of alcohol, kidnapping, profanity, murder, blackmailing; enemies to friends to lovers, love triangle, slowburn, forbidden love, unrequited love, angst, fluff moments and sappy romance. )

+. [ PLAYLIST ] — via spotify.

+. [ NAVIGATION LINKS ] — you can browse my other works by clicking on this link.

+. [ NOTES ] — this is the first ever series that I started to write. It was hard for me to write since I get horribly distracted whenever I'm to write on Ran and that is why I've not written much on him. This is only posted in AO3 ; I've left the link at the end of excerpt.

+. [ EXCERPT ] — Ran Haitani’s pov.

I licked my lips trying not to laugh. It was so tough to hold myself back. All I wanted was to pin her hands above her head and kiss those lips that had the power to own me.

She sat on my bed leaning against the door. She's determined today, I pondered. My eyebrows jumped when I saw her snatching the beer can from my hand and chugging it down empty.

I mustered up the courage and sat beside her. My arm was grazing hers. She didn't bite so I thought it was cool. Silence prevailed for almost a minute.

“You do know that Izana is waiting for you and we're in my room, locked?”, to which she looked at me and let out a hiccup, immediately pressing her mouth with her calloused fingers, nails were painted on both hands.  Such pretty hands. I wanted to touch them...

I figured something bad happened maybe with Izana or maybe with her parents since she looked away drowning in silence but I was too afraid to ask, too afraid to ruin this moment.

“He is drunk and way too high to fuck me properly if that's what you're thinking. He'll fall asleep soon. So, don't worry about all of this unless your guilt makes you spill it to him.”, she said in one breath.

GREAT. SHE'S ANGRY JUST AS I'M.

Silence prevailed upon us for more than a minute. I wanted to kiss her nape, neck, and every inch of her body.

“So, why are you here exactly? You could have declined it”, I whispered breaking the silence between us.

She beckoned me with her index finger which had a diamond ring. As I leaned she chimed, “You. for you”

I swallowed hard. I don’t know if it was weed or her but man every inch of my skin was burning. She was right next to me. Then, I recalled Izana mentioning that she shouldn't drink much on the phone.

“Hey, you have something in your neck”, y/n extended her hand. Did she always wear such an oversized sweatshirt? Only the head of her fingers was visible through the sleeves. I didn’t notice.

Well, there’s ample time to watch now that Izana is interested in her and soon might show her our world.

“Oh yeah! We both have... matching pairs”, I added and I saw her eyes full of excitement. She looked adorable.

I felt her hands on my neck and she whispered in amusement, “It’s a tattoo”

“Do you wanna see?”, I asked to which she nodded her smile never leaving her face. And, I started to strip without any hesitation. I wasn’t wearing much, so before she could react I was half-naked.

Y/n gasped. She gasped before sitting on my thighs. I wasn't doing anything because first, she was drunk; second, I really wanna see how this plays out, and third, I had imagined her in a lot of positions and one of them is about to happen. I'm not that much of a fool to stop this.

For some reason, she stopped before touching it, touching me. I couldn't understand why I was angry but she looked at me asking, “May I?”

“You may”, rolling my eyes heavenwards because I was screaming, ‘ Yes! Please do, in my head. I tried to stay calm as she traced the ink from my chest, along the side of my nipples, and over my belly, and then she stopped.

+. [ STATUS ] — READ THIS IN AO3.

[thisismysecondrodeo]

Twitter Famous (Jason Sudeikis x Reader) - Chapter 2

wc: 1.2k

Story Page | Story Tag

You paced the kitchen while Andie made the two of you coffee, your phone sitting a safe distance away as if it was radioactive. Andie handed you the mug and you paused only briefly to take a sip before continuing your walking. 

“Okay, so walk me through it again. Why are we freaking out in a bad way and not a good way?”

“Andie,” you sighed, finally stopping and hopping up on your kitchen counter across from where your friend leaned against the stove, “he’s going to fucking hate me. The man doesn’t even tweet and he’s getting harassed on Twitter on my behalf.”

“It’s funny! He’s a funny guy, he’ll get it. Plus, so many people think you two would be hot together, they’re shipping it, dude. Did he DM you or anything?”

“No, he followed me though.” 

“See! He wouldn’t do that if he was pissed off. You know you’re allowed to have a little fun.” Andie finished the last of her coffee and stood on her tiptoes to kiss your cheek. “I’ve gotta run, I’m flying out to New York tonight. I know you have to call Kayla, but please can you just live a little? If you can’t meet your favorite celebrity then what the hell is the point of being famous?” 

You chuckled, sliding off the counter to walk her to the door. “Alright, alright, but when Kayla has to manage a PR crisis…” 

“It’s my fault, and I accept that gladly if it means you get to meet the love of your life, Jason Sudeikis,” Andie grinned and you rolled your eyes—there were so many ways for this to go and almost none of them were love, but Andie’s energy was addicting. It was nice to have someone that constantly pushed you to just have a good time; and sure, you hated to make Kayla’s job harder but it wasn’t like she was against you having a good time either. 

You took a long, hot shower before you gave Kayla a ring, thankful it was Saturday and you had nowhere to be. 

“Sooo this is cute, this is fun,” Kayla said and you could hear the smile in her voice. 

“I’m glad you think so,” you laughed, “I was kind of freaking out and I thought you’d be pissed.” 

“Hey, my only job is to get you where you wanna go and if Jason's where you want to go, you have my full support. So what do you think? Let me help you plan?”

“Honestly, I feel bad I made him go viral, but he’s liking every tweet, he can’t be THAT upset…maybe? I don’t know, it's hard to know what he’s thinking when he doesn’t tweet at all.” 

“Okay so use that to your advantage.” 

“How?”

“He’s trending, he’s clearly looking at the tweets, and everyone’s waiting for his next move but he can’t make it because he doesn’t tweet…so you make the move. Tweet and ask him out. See if he likes it.” 

“And you’re okay with this?” 

“I’m not your enemy, Y/N! I want you to be happy and that’s it. You get to decide what that looks like…and I’m here to clean up your mess.” 

You laughed, “I’m sorry Kayla, I know you’re not the enemy. I appreciate you. I’ll talk to you later.” 

When you hung up you couldn’t believe Andie and Kayla weren’t telling you that you were insane; accidentally sending a legion of your fans to tweet at Jason Sudeikis because you couldn’t connect to feelings of romance unless you were looking at his pictures or watching his movies and shows seemed certifiable to you. 

You took out your phone, looking at his name in your notifications, in your followers list. It gave you a thrill that at least he knew you existed. You audibly giggled as you tweeted. 

You didn’t actually expect him to respond, didn’t really believe that he would tweet for the first time to respond to some singer he didn’t know asking him out on a date. But you thought he’d like it and people would hoot and holler again, and then it would all fizzle out. Maybe you’d get asked about him in an interview or he’d get asked about you and you’d circle each other for years until finally the two of you were at an event together and you’d snap a photo and all's well that ends well. 

Except he didn’t like the tweet. 

You worked on rewriting a couple of songs, toyed around on the piano with some new stuff, tried to read a romance novel on your Kindle to get you in the second-album-spirit and he still hadn’t liked the tweet. 

Andie tried to settle you down over text but you couldn’t help but think you’d ruined it. 

Andie: Do you know he’s online?

You quickly switched to Twitter and looked at his likes and he was still liking tweets about you, tweeted after you’d tried to ask him out. Somehow in all the hubbub of should you tweet him, should you not, you never considered how it would feel to get publicly rejected—you certainly weren’t in the mood to sing love songs now.

Y/N: He’s still liking tweets! Ugh, why did I do this again?

Andie: It’s fun to have a crush! Maybe he tried to message you, do you follow him?

Of course you followed Jason. Why wouldn’t you, especially since he now followed you. But now that you think about it… You quickly swiped through to look, might as well, and…you didn’t follow him. You felt like an idiot as you checked the message requests folder you never looked at and saw a message from Jason in your DMs. 

Jason: You’re in LA right? I’ll be there next week, so maybe next Saturday instead of this Thursday 🙂 

Jason: Also hi, nice to meet you. I’m Jason. 

You didn’t know what to do or how to respond and you wished Andie was here to tell you what to do. She certainly wasn’t texting back quickly enough for your liking. You’d already left him on read for an hour, you had to say something. 

Y/N: Oh my god, I am so sorry for all this.

Y/N: But not that sorry 🙂 I would love to hang out next Saturday

Y/N: Also hi, I’m Y/N

Jason: Oh, I know. Big fan. Like, you-were-on-my-Spotify Wrapped kinda big fan ;) 

Jason: Also, do you want to maybe tweet something so I can stop getting roasted for not shooting my shot? No pressure

Y/N: LOL good call, happy to

BIG FAN. He had to just be humoring you, there was no way…but those were some very specific details to include. You were giddy with the excitement of actually getting to meet him, that he actually wanted to meet you. Despite trying to manage your own expectations, it felt like a date. You texted Andie the rundown but you knew she wouldn’t be able to respond from the plane. 

You almost forgot you told Jason you’d tweet something. You purposely left the date out, and you didn’t suggest a location because there was no way the two of you could hang out without drawing a crowd on a good day, let alone if you tweeted it like a meet and greet. You couldn’t wipe the grin off your face as you typed it out and hit send. 

Jason liked it. 

Saturday couldn’t come fast enough.

-

AN: Okay so this is a slow build, don't kill me lol Also I'm posting every day but if you want a taglist let me know and I will happily tag you <3 Y'all have been so lovely and excited for this series it's awesome 🥰

[wordsmithwhumpsandfluff]

Feverish Birdie + Isaac & Spirit caretakers

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“When do I meet the guy?” Isaac asked, popping a caramel candy into his mouth.

Spirit looked up from her book to glare at him. “Never,” she spat. “Now, study.”

He rolled his eyes, smiling as he opened his own book and began reading a chapter on physical effects of stress. Meanwhile, Spirit was going over the history of Mediterranean cuisine.

The library was quiet, and Isaac was bored out of his mind. He was sick of studying, even if he was doing it because it was finals season. Unable to stop himself, he opened his mouth and asked jokingly, “Do I really need a college degree? I mean, what if I commit my life to using the ice-cream machine at McDonalds? I’m sure I’d get some kind of a discount or something, and my sis would love all the happy meals I could bring her.”

Spirit glared at him murderously before looking back down at her book, saying nothing.

“Or I could become a hot homeless man, and maybe some hot sugar mommy could take me in while I become her trophy husband.”

“She’d have to be blind and deaf to fall in love with you,” Spirit grumbled, not looking up.

Isaac snorted, pulling out his phone. When Spirit heard the music from Subway Surfers begin to play, her head snapped up and she glared at Isaac so hard that he literally recoiled in surprise. He bit down a yelp when she kicked him under the table, and then pouted as she whisper-yelled at him, “Study, you fucking moron!”

He sighed, pocketing his book and reading. He already knew all of this stuff. He didn’t need—nor want—to study!

A full five minutes of silence passed. Then Isaac asked, “Wanna grab some lunch? Then you can tell me all about your boyfr—”

Another kick, and Isaac bit down another yelp, pouting grumpily and shutting his mouth.

— — —

“You are four!” Spirit spat as they walked out of the library with their books. “Four. Freaking. Years. Old!”

Isaac rolled his eyes. “You have a stick up your ass. You should take it out, plant a tree with it, and take some freaking meditation classes in that tree’s shade. Loosen up for once.”

Spirit narrowed her eyes. “I’ll take that stick and beat your stupid-ass with it!”

“Cool down, hot-head.”

Isaac let out a yelp and jumped at the sound of ‘Teenagers’ by My Chemical Romance randomly starting to play loudly, and Spirit casually took her phone out of her pocket and answered it.

“New ringtone? Black Parade? Seriously?” he mumbled. “What, are you emo now? Planning to re-live your middle school years or something?”

Spirit frowned while the phone was still pressed to her ear. “Are you throwing up?”

Isaac looked at her, brows raising slightly.

Spirit was nodding softly. Then she said, “Okay, I’ll be there soon.” And she hung up.

“Who was that?” he asked.

“Birdie. She says she’s really sick. Not throwing up, thank God, but I’ve gotta go.” She began to quickly walk away, but Isaac just followed her.

“Wait,” he said. “I’ll go with you. Did Birdie say what’s wrong with her?”

“Just that she’s been stuck in bed all day because she’s feeling too dizzy and sick to get up. You don’t have to—”

“I’m coming,” Isaac stated, and Spirit didn’t even bother to argue.

They took their cars separately to Birdie’s apartment, and they arrived at the same time.

Spirit was walking very quickly—nearly running—as they made their way to Birdie’s place. Even in the elevator, Spirit paced, unable to stay still. Isaac watched her, unfazed since it was no shock that Spirit was always taking care of Birdie, making sure that her best friend was alright, and Birdie did the same for her.

Spirit got Birdie’s spare key from one of the potted plants by the door, and she and Isaac went inside.

A million smells of candles, plants, and lavender incents filled their senses upon entering. While Isaac shut and locked the door, Spirit hurried to Birdie’s room. Then Isaac followed.

Birdie was buried beneath so many plush blankets that it was nearly impossible to see that she was curled up under them. Even her head was covered. “Bird,” Spirit whispered, pushing some of the blankets down and shaking her best friend’s shoulder softly. “Birdie, wake up.”

With a groan, Birdie pushed the remaining blankets off her face. “I’m awake,” she grumbled, blinking dizzily. “I feel like crap. My head hurts.”

“You look pretty crappy, too,” Isaac teased lightly, referring to the sickly-grey color tinting her dark skin and the fact that she looked a little silly with her hot-pink bonnet on.

Spirit shot him an annoyed look, and Birdie looked at him confused. “Why’re you here?”

“I was with Spirit when you called,” he answered with a soft smile. “Figured I’d help. Other than crappy, how’re you feeling? Nauseous?”

Her expression remained confused and hazy for a second before she shook her head. “No, just freezing.” Clearly, that wasn’t truly all she felt.

Spirit frowned and felt her forehead, cursing softly. “Bird, you’re burning up. You have to lose some of these blankets.”

Birdie pouted in response, shaking her head a bit. “I don’t want to. I’m so cold.”

Spirit shook her head, pushing more of the blankets off. Birdie whined and curled up, pulling three of the remaining blankets back over her head. “Nooooo,” she whined, beginning to tremble under the blankets.

“I’ll go find some meds,” Isaac said, turning and leaving the bedroom.

“And find a thermometer,” Spirit called after him.

Isaac found Birdie’s medicine cabinet in the kitchen. Despite her hippie style, her love of plants and nature, and basically her whole personality, it would surprise people that she really doesn’t believe in most nature-based remedies. Isaac found some Tylenol and a thermometer, and he also found Birdie’s ADHD meds and grabbed those. Also grabbing a water bottle, he went back to the room and found Birdie curled up with only one blanket, trembling while Spirit rubbed her arm gently over the blanket.

“Did you take your meds today?” Isaac asked, placing the items on Birdie’s bedside table.

She shook her head, eyes closed. “Haven’t got up,” she murmured, face half-smushed in her pillow.

Isaac nodded, opening the pill bottle. “How many?”

Birdie groaned into her pillow, unhelpfully. “Two,” Spirit answered for her, rolling her eyes and sighing.

Isaac got two of the ADHD pills, and a Tylenol. “Sit up,” he said to Birdie, crouching by her bed.

Spirit tried to grab Birdie’s shoulders to help her up, but the girl mumbled, “Screw you” and shoved her off, sounding like an upset little kid.

Isaac couldn’t help but snort, and Spirit shot him a glare. “What are you laughing at?”

He shook his head, but was still smiling. “Nothing, nothing.”

It took a full ten minutes just to get Birdie to sit up—between Birdie’s half-delirious state, Isaac’s constant quips and jokes, and Spirit balancing being caring for her BFF and wanting to shove Isaac’s face in a pillow. When they took her temp, she was at 102.

They got the meds and Tylenol in Birdie, and Isaac wet a cold hand towel while Spirit fussed around with Birdie’s record player since she knew that Birdie slept easier with music playing quietly in the background.

“I’m so cold,” Birdie mumbled, looking at Spirit with doe-like, dizzy eyes. She looked no older than fifteen with the towel on her head and. “Can I have one more blanket?”

Spirit shook her head, gently rubbing Birdie’s shoulder. “Sorry, Bird. Let’s wait for this fever to go down a bit first.”

Birdie pouted and curled up on her side. Spirit stayed with her while Isaac went out to his car to grab his books, and he came back in to continue his studying on her couch.

It was a full half-hour before Spirit came out of Birdie’s room, shutting the door softly behind her with a sigh. “She’s finally asleep,” she groaned, going over to the couch and flopping down beside Isaac on it.

Isaac looked at her with a raised brow. “So, am I crazy, or did I hear Bohemian Rapsody about ten minutes ago?”

“She wanted to sleep with her favorite Queen record playing instead,” she said with a casual shrug.

Isaac looked at her incredulously. “Who on Earth falls asleep to Queen?!”

Spirit snorted. “The same person who cooks to it, showers to it, drives to it, dances to it, sings it, and worships it like it’s her God. You’re forgetting, this is the same girl who laid on her back in the middle of an empty street—in her pastel Michale-Jackson-looking homecomingoutfit—and started pedaling her legs in the air while singing ‘Bicycle Race’ at the top of her lungs. She can sleep to Queen.”

Isaac snorted at Spirit’s explanation, continuing to read.

Spirit scoffed at him. “Now you’re studying?”

He cast her an offended look. “I was studying earlier. Against my will, maybe, but I was studying.”

She rolled her eyes, pulling out her phone. She was about to open Webtoon—a guilty pleasure of hers—when a text from Aiden came. She rushed to swipe up to get the notification off her screen, but she accidentally clicked it and nearly broke her phone trying to close her messages.

“Your boyfriend?”

Spirit’s face burned as she glared at Isaac. “Stop calling him that. We’re just friends!”

“Friends with benefits.”

She turned red. “Isaac!” she whisper-yelled.

He laughed at her, closing his book. “Go ahead, text him back. And tell him I say hi.”

Spirit stood, shutting her phone off and shoving it in her pocket. “I’ll text him back later,” she stated coldly, still flushed, and she turned to go back to Birdie’s room. It was a good thing she had because before she even got to the door, she heard a soft thud from inside.

Hearing the thud, Spirit quickly opened the door, instantly worried that Birdie had fallen off her bed. She was half-right.

Clearly, Birdie hadn’t just fallen out of bed. But she had fallen, clearly on her way towards her bathroom. The girl was on her hands and knees, clearly trying not to puke with her mouth squeezed shut.

“Dammit, Bird,” Spirit sighed, walking over and crouching beside Birdie, putting a hand on her back. “C’mon, let’s go to the toilet.”

Birdie shook her head, her eyes turning watery. “Nooo,” she groaned dizzily. “I don’wwwana puke.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure it’s inevitable.” Spirit struggled to help Birdie up and to the bathroom. When she got Birdie down in front of the toilet, she frowned as she noticed her best friend was still squeezing her mouth shut. “Birdie, just let it out. Here, just close your eyes and I’ll cover your ears. Okay?”

Birdie didn’t respond, mouth still squeezed shut.

“Everything okay in here?” Isaac asked, coming into the bedroom and seeing the girls on the bathroom floor.

“She’s gonna puke,” Spirit said. “But she doesn’t want to.”

Isaac came over and crouched by Birdie’s other side. “Hey, midget,” he said, calling her by the teasing nickname the whole group often called her by. “Just let it out. You’ll feel better, and we’ll flush right away so the smell won’t bother you.”

Birdie shook her head, letting out a soft sob with her mouth still pressed shut. But suddenly, her eyes widened, and her cheeks puffed out a bit, and she couldn’t help but let the stream of sick come up.

Spirit quickly covered Birdie’s ears and instructed Isaac to put a hand over her eyes. As soon as the stream ended, Isaac flushed so the smell could be gone right away. Birdie puked two more times, but thankfully didn’t get sick because of her own puke. Immediately, as soon as she was empty, she nearly shoved Isaac out of the way in order to rinse out her mouth in her sink. Isaac went back to the room to put a bin by Birdie’s bed, and Spirit stayed with Birdie until she had successfully gotten rid of the nasty taste.

Birdie groaned, still braced against the sink and breathing heavily. “This is so sucky. I feel gross.”

Spirit wet her hands with cold water from the sink, wiping down Birdie’s face and neck. The tiny girl was still burning up.

“If we tried meds again, you think you could keep them down?” Isaac asked, coming back to the bathroom again.

Birdie shook her head. “I wanna sleep,” she said.

Spirit led Birdie back to bed. Once laying down again, Birdie looked at Isaac and asked, “Can you water my plants? The spray bottle is somewhere in my kitchen.”

Isaac agreed, leaving to go water her plants. Once alone, Birdie reached up to couch Spirit’s face, her fingers grazing a particularly dark bruise on Spirit’s cheekbone. “You got in a fight,” she stated as a fact.

Spirit’s eyes widened at the random statement. “N-no I didn’t,” she said defensively. “I just—”

“You got in a fight,” Birdie repeated. Sleepily, she sighed, snuggling into her pillow before saying, “I know you did. I’m not going to ask who you fought, or why. And I’m not going to tell you to stop getting into fights because I know you well enough to know that you won’t stop. But please don’t lie to me next time, please?”

Spirit sighed, rubbing Birdie’s arm. “Fine.”

Then Birdie peeked an eye open. “And if Isaac over-waters my plants, you’re helping me kill him.”

[broz0neglitters]

𝙵𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚒𝚝 𝙸 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚈𝚘𝚞 💜💖

Poppy x Val Dating Headcanons

warning: Cussing

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Blogger notes: I know you all are probably sick of reading my SMUT and NSFW but I'm giving that a break anyways I decide to write some fluff and non smut for poppy and val in trollstopia I personally ship them they are total girlfriends haha anyways I feel like poppy can both date branch and val at the same time so I'll probably write a poly relationship w poppy,branch and val I'll even do a smut one in the future but in the mean time here's some fluff and non-smut for you all while I take a break enjoy <3

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-Poppy Knows that her girlfriend Val loves her but she wouldn’t admit that Val loves her intentionally

-Val is shy about telling poppy how she feels such as "I love you." and stuff

-Val isn't much of a PDA But she'll only let poppy hold her hands/link arms with her that its much like branch she would rather keep that PDA Private or when she's alone

-Poppy and Val has a whole playlist of songs that they will listen to when they hangout or do stuff together etc

-Val isn't big on going out on a date but she'll definitely take poppy on a date once a week but it usally something that val would do rather than what poppy would do poppy was hoping that her rockstar Gf would take her on a picnic date

-Val is overprotective of poppy she won't let any trolls near poppy not even branch or her father...

"Uhh, Vals Can I please just talk to my dad please you know him he would never hurt me." Poppy said

"Oh, Sorry poppy I'll put him down." Val said

-Val was deadass afraid that poppy father would think bad about her because she made a bad first impression

-Poppy Would drag Val to a taylor swift concert

-Val and Poppy had taylor swift friendship Bracelets <3

-Val Loves it when poppy hugs her and flirt w her it makes her blush she won’t admit that

-They have matching phone case and everything Holly wasn't jealous she knew that poppy and Val are dating so she doesn’t mind

-They have nicknames for each-other but Val allowed poppy to call her nickname when they are alone

-During their alone time Val and Poppy would lay on top of each-other the couch while Val Combed her soft fingers through poppy hair Val likes how soft poppy hair were

-Val would watch what ever poppy watches but sooner she would beg poppy to let her pick a movie/show

"Okay, if I let you watch your show/Movie if I get scared promise me you'll hold me?" Poppy said giving her that puppy eye

As Val groans "Okay, fine pop squeaks" (I think I spelled that wrong)

-Val Would let poppy play,style her hair

-Val usally spends the weekends with poppy meaning that they have sleepovers

-Poppy would be the one to wake Val up cause Val likes to sleep in

-Val don’t mind hugging other trolls but she will and can hug poppy for hours even days even til death due them apart

-Val Loves brushing poppy soft hair even if poppy did or didn't ask Val would still brush poppy hair because Val loves how soft her hair was so Val desperately ask poppy for a hair care routine

-Poppy try to get Val to say I love you to her so poppy would have to force it on Val so she and Val would watch a romantic movie together

"So Val, Is there somthing you wanna say to me?" Poppy asked teasing her

"Uh, no poppy I clearly don't and why are we watching this romance movie anyways is making me feel weird." Val said looking away you can tell she's blushing

-At the end of the movie she would give val a kiss on the cheek "Thanks for watching a movie with me I love you do you love me?" poppy asked teasing Val again knowing that she was feeling weird and she was blushing the whole time

-Val was so annoyed by her GF so she was even blushing harder "Okay fine Poppy since you want to hear it Fuck it I love you okay happy." Val said crossing her arm looking away blushing....

*Poppy was blushing nonstop since then* ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

/) /) ପ(˶•-•˶)ଓ ♡ /づ づ (puff puff) Anyways, I hoped you enjoyed it anyways fill free to request me at anytime :^) *it might take a while to get back to you as I mentioned before I would just write it on my own without any requests plus I've school and real life stuff so be patient with your request your requested are heard loud and clear <3 ---------------------- Like + Follow are very much appreciated! *Blush*

[gachag0d]

Blasting Joji at 3 A.M. ANGST | Obey Me x Joji In Tongues

Synopsis: Sorting the Obey Me characters into which Joji In Tongues songs I think they would blast at 3 A.M during sad hours.

Characters: The Brothers and The Dateable (-Luke)

CW: Joji's music is explicit and contains Swearing, Mentions of Self Harm, Thoughts of Suicide, Alcohol and Drug Abuse, Implied Violence, Unrequited love, & Possessiveness.

A/N: If anyone can tell me how to put the smaller Spotify music player in a post, I would forever be in your debt. Putting the link in only puts the huge player in, and when I try to put the HTML code, it tells me that's its unsupported. I would be so grateful for help.

Ballads 1 | In Tongues | Nectar pt. 1 | Nectar pt. 2 | Smithereens

"Will your tongue still remember the taste of my lips? Will your shadow remember the swing of my hips? Will your lover caress you the way, that I did? Will you notice my charm, if he slips up one bit? 'Cause I don't need to know I just wanna make sure you're okay (Okay) I don't need to know I just wanna make sure you're all safe All safe, all safe"

LUCIFER, Asmodeus, Mammon, Solomon

"Please don't run away Please don't run away Where'd you go? I thought we'd last forever Where'd I go? I was sinking through the leather I need you back I need you back (yeah, yeah, yeah)"

BELPHEGOR, Mammon, Simeon, Beelzebub

"This is not a threat, I promise (nope) I promise This is not a threat, I promise It's a warning baby I just want you to know That's when the ceiling caved in And I'm falling in a trench, I'm behaving I'm behaving myself I'm behaving myself We don't gotta die so soon So I just behave for you (for you, for you) We don't gotta die so soon So I just behave for... shh, (quiet)"

SATAN, Belphegor, Solomon

"I see nothing out the window, window Nothing out the window Watching all the leaves grow, leaves grow Feels better in my dreams though, dreams though And the sun will shine, no more The sun will shine (antidote), no more I've been holding on, too long Holding on too I know when the wind blows, wind blows Feels better in my dreams though, dreams though I just wanna sleep forever Please just let me leave, forever"

BELPHEGOR, Diavolo, Barbados

"I find it hard to be myself I shed my skin for everybody else You don't know me, what the fuck you mean? You made me sad and you made me mean And now I'm mad, I feel unclean 'Cause I'm a bitter fuck 'Cause I'm a bitter fuck You made me a bitter fuck Ay, (fuck), ay Now I'm a bitter fuck They call me a bitter fuck Because of you Because of you"

SATAN, Leviathan, Belphegor, Lucifer

"I looked at you and said, oh oh oh. “Don’t hate me, am I crazy?” So tenderly you watch me burn, You watch me burn oh. So tell me, am I crazy? Cause I do, cause I do. Cause I do, cause I do. Cause I do, cause I do. Ooh, ooh la la la la la la la la la la. Goddamn. Ooh, and I don’t wanna die. No I don’t wanna die. No I don’t wanna die."

SIMEON, Mammon, Leviathan

"I can't do this face to face But I'll admit that I'm afraid Let this romance go to waste Excuse me for my plastic taste Excuse me for my plastic taste Excuse me for my plastic taste Excuse me for my plastic taste Excuse me for my plastic taste Let these moments go to waste Go to waste"

LEVIATHAN, Satan, Mammon

"And if the stars collide, will she relieve my soul? And when we feel alive I know she'll let me go When you read my lips, I know you feel all cold But I promise you my heart is made of gold I don't wanna waste my time if I can't make you decide You're only on my mind when I need you I don't need to know about what you do when the sun goes down Cause I don't gotta know about nothing Cause I don't gotta know..."

BARBADOS, Lucifer, Mammon

[plounce]

fic idea pinging around in my head right now is a series of people giving thancred the shovel talk on behalf of urianger over the years. idk if ill write it bc im about to be the busiest person alive for 2 months but here’s the structure ive sketched out

moenbryda in pre-canon sharlayan (i think that thancred & moenbryda were closer friends than thancred & urianger in their youths. this wouldn’t be “you have a crush on my friend” bc i don’t think their romantic feelings stretch back that far, and more just a teen looking at her friend becoming friends with her Best friend and telling him Hey. be nice. he is Fragile.)

minfilia (either pre-canon or during ARR, when they’re combining the path of the twelve with the circle of knowing to make the scions. again, less about romance and maybe more about them both being spies? im not totally sure about this one. i just wanna get some minfilia&thancred in there)

ryne (pre-shb il mheg safehouseing. i think that the bookman’s shelves really is their little safety family bubble and thancred would tend to be more emotionally open and nicer when they’re staying there, and i think ryne would have some complicated feelings about that! ryne knowing that thancred likes urianger more than he likes her. a part of her feels a bit of resentment over it, but mostly just wants to know urianger, and liking urianger. thancred is only happy when talking about his loved ones. urianger is really really kind to her because he’s just a very gentle person, but also because he feels a ton of guilt over ryne’s situation. i think about urianger&ryne a lot. anyway this would be less about ryne threatening thancred and more about “please don’t mess this up”. guilt the man from every emotional angle!!!!!)

y’shtola (during shb proper. ive said before that i think yshtola’s anger with urianger comes from a place of concern for him, while her anger with thancred comes from a more critical place bc she knows her friend can be better. i really liked y’shtola being the one unafraid to lay out thancred’s failings, and i also really like the idea of her watching out for urianger as well, because thancred’s current behavior is not inspiring confidence that he will treat urianger’s heart well. because by this point it’s very obvious that Something is going on between them, that urianger’s caught feelings and thancred is being emotionally constipated. i don’t think thanuri could get together before ryne & thancred’s plot comes to its resolution, so this would be pre-that.)

alisaie (right after they get together. possibly in camp broken glass, pre-final days? i am famously an alisaie&urianger fanatic and i simply must include this. i think it is so cute for the teenager urianger used to babysit coming up to his 35yo boyfriend and going “so, finally. good for you. if you fuck it up i will rdm lb3 your ass. btw maxima wants to talk to you”. the most traditional shovel talk of the bunch)

thancred himself (”i’m no good for you, you deserve someone better than me, someone nicer and more thoughtful and less of a jackass”. this would also be the first one where urianger is actually present - all the others would have him offscreen for the shovel talks.)

[journeysfable]

“I took a geography course to learn the datelines/and maybe use a sextant/now I just press facsimile” datelines like pick up lines? because there is only one date line in geography. Also a sextant uses the stars and alloros are obsessed with zodiac signs. And press facsimile like copying the behavior of others?

(this is hard to articulate but: continuously repeating relationships? ‘Cause later in the song he says “now he’s just another man” so there have been multiple relationships like this)

“And you’re exactly who you wanted to be/Well that’s what you said/Cause you wanna watch tv and sleep all day and lay in bed” A bit of a reach but it sounds like when people are disbelieving that you can be happy without romance

“You’re forgetting that I have to go work and eat my food/and pay my rent and reproduce/then feed those kids” Have to reproduce

“But he’s talking marriage and a future/He’s picking a lock he doesn’t go into/His knife in a wound, he’s a suture”

“It seems like all our friends/Abruptly fell in love/She was in the dust/Stalling life was streaming past/so she learnt to lie/She learnt how to pretend/A drama in the futile/Means to an end”

“Said I’d understand when I’m older/Said I’d understand the things they do” is such a relatable line. I think I had thoughts almost exactly like this when people started dating around me and realizing I should be old enough to understand but I still don’t. I still don’t understand the things they do.

People painfully pretending to be in love, to reach an end or out of just societal/cultural obligation. And people who actually are in love and ending up doing stupid shit in the name of it.

And this is really a reach but

“This is the part where I shut up and let you infest my brain/Wrap your arms around my cortex/dig you in/and let you drain/You’ll never get rid of me/Oh I’m like a fucking disease/I’ll make a home in your gut/Because it’s somewhere warm to sleep” Could be about how society tries to get rid of queer people so queer people blend in (linking back up to “facsimile”), at the cost of their identity, just so they can be safe.

[lemmilemura]

Watching OOUIL

HEAVY SPOILER WARNING FOR LITERALLY THE ENTIRE SHOW I wrote down anytime I had important/sudden thoughts about stuff. Little warning, there is quite a lot of times I just simp over Simon, but what's new? There will be timestamps so you can go and look what happened to cause that reaction. Also since I was watching in one sitting and it was already past midnight and I was recovering from fever and tired and all that good stuff, towards the end and the last few episodes I didn't write down much. That is also the reason for the many, many typos xD I apologize

Episode 1

00:10 > literally just hearing Simon’s voice is already doing smth to me xD

00:22 > Simon honey I love you but that jacket was a CHOICE

00:50 > not the “I ship it” comment qwq

01:09 > god bronwyn's parents suck

01:26 > I only have my headphones on one ear and like Simon keeps talking and I never want him to stop xD

01:31 > Ah yes, the classic “ew our parents are kissing” teenager trope. just suck it up, Maeve

01:42 > i know, i know, i'm just being nitpicky, but Bronwyn’s phone says she had headphones connected? no she doesn’t

01:52 > if you ever see me smiling that wide while running, please assume I’ve been possessed, I probably have

02:02 > oh my god i can FEEL the sand in Copper’s shoes qwq

02:12 > Wildcats? isn't that like also a meme? like “What team? Wildcats!” idk I’ve only seen it a handful of times

02:46 > even if i hadnt read the book/had no idea what happens I’d still 100% know Cooper’s dad is gonna be an ass

03:21 > Addy is like, so naturally pretty qwq Girlie you don’t have to do all of this qwq I just wanna give her a hug man. And a gun so she can get rid of Jake. I’d help her hide the body too. Sorry, got a lil too into it there xD

03:28 > her outfit is soooo pretty tho I mean c’mon

03:44 > A bad love story? Like a… BAD ROMANCE?

03:47 > “Varsity skank squad” Damn Simon! Really going in on Addy, huh?

03:56 > the “well, you know” should NOT have affected me as much as it did xD

04:08 > Addy, remember that gun I talked about? Yeah, use it on your mom too while you’re at it

04:18 > god Jake is ugly. I’l sorry to any fans of his actor but damn. it really do be the basic white bois huh?

04:23 > you can see how uncomfy Addy is qwq

04:41 > “we’ll be quick” we get it, jake, you don’t last long

05:07 > TJ looks wise? no thanks. TJ being a dumbass? bonus points

05:10 > why does that chick look almost identical to Addy?

05:22 > Everyone wants to fuck a bad boy? Honey I want you. I mean if Simon isn’t a bad boy then what is he?

05:29 > “I’ve got so much dirt his probation officer is gonna bury him in it”? Simoooon, look at you with the metaphores

05:44 > Run bitch, ruuuuun! Or alternatively, “I’m fast as fuck boie!”

06:12 > God how I wish I was Janae right now……

06:17 > My god that shirt has a vneck… don’t be shy, take off the tshirt underneath…

06:39 > Lesbians?? In my tv show?? Fuuuck yeeeah!

06:45 > oh my god he’s wearing an earring… Quick, what’s the gay earring rule again? “Right ear means gay, eft means not gay but expressing feminine side” You heard it here first, folks, Simon is a secret Femboy xD

06:46 > these slowmo shottssssss I am living

07:16 > Simon, honey, that is such a bad idea to just have AboutThat open to anyone who flips open your laptop! C’mon, I thought you were smarter than this

07:21 > I would be looking at him the exact same way, Janae. 

07:27 > The smirk,??????? HELLO?????

07:42 > I’ve said it a lot and i will 100% say it again, but DAMN Simon is just so pretty qwq Perfect actor choice 10/10

07:44 > “She can’t prove it’s me” This school probably has security cameras, yes she’d know it’s you. But then again, if the school did have cameras, they’d have solved the mystery waaaay quicker.

07:49 > I am never going to emotionally recover from this

08:19 > he literally has “cold blue eyes” like in the book and that’s what made me immediately fall for him in the first place!!!!

08:23 > What the fuuuuuuuck :0

08:39 > “There is is… that damn smile”

08:45 > Love that she wrote Avengers but from what I can see they’re all DC. Great job, teach

09:17 > Just noticed Bronwyn’s necklace and damn is it ugly

10:02 > Bronwyn never did make it to Debate…

10:16 > no but why is that kinda cute? the way he’s tilting his body like a kid qwq

10:19 > :0 this is where the book starts!! THE COLD BLUE EYESSSSS

10:32 > Is Simon…. shorter than Bronwyn? Or is it just her shoes?? omg is he shmol qwq

11:02 > The way hes sitting, twiddling his fingers, I just, I’m dying

11:05 > then again, there’s probably a lot going through his head, isn’t there?

11:16 > Bronwyn please just stfu. Avery will not believe you. I know, cuz I’ve read the book

11:27 > Isn’t Bronwyn supposed to be the smart kid? Cuz that wasn’t that smart

11:40 > I love his personalityyyyy so sassy

12:25 > he knew she’d say that… he knew… 

12:33 > You can see it on his face qwq I hate this qwq

12:49 > Eggs instead of a carcrash? Weird choice but ok

13:17 > I mean he probably doesn’t have one so xD

13:18 > Nooooooo, he drank iiiitttt qwq

13:31 > It’s taking this long? How? Shouldn’t it happen immediately? Or is that cuz of the amount of water?

13:56 > Nooooooooooooooo qwq I can’t watch this, I’m just gonna start crying qwq

15:48 > I skipped ahead, I couldn’t watch that qwq Reading it is way easier than seeing it

15:54 > my god jake looks ridiculous xD

16:06 > Looked like he was dead? Honey he is!

16:27 > Keely is so pretty qwq

16:56 > They could 100% pass for a straight couple it’s wild

17:07 > Florence and the machine? Like FFXV Florence and the machine? :0000

17:17 > pffffff

17:41 > Bruh does she look okay? She just witnessed her classmate dying! She probably isn’t!

18:09 > He also has an earring?? dafuq

18:53 > Yeah it was!! Wait til you find out the backstory to it

19:00 > his side profile xDDD

19:15 > you can see the tension between hem, god damn

19:32 > Simon’s baaaaaag :0

20:28 > is he getting suspicious??

20:47 > how does her mother know? she a doctor or smth?

21:01 > god that “Bayview High School” could not look any faker xD

21:11 > Janaaaeeee qwq she needs a hug just as much as I do rn qwq

21:24 > The deathstareeeeeee :0 Janae

21:31 > Reading the book I never cared much for Janae, but actually seeing her so fucking sad and close to tears? It’s hitting

22:10 > QWQ I AM GOING TO CRY

23:32 > “Trauma bonding with Nate” I don’t even know this person’s name but I like their humor xD

26:41 > There is no way in hell they both look at eachother at the same time! That’s bull!

28:05 > That’s just creepy, man

28:40 > Sheetmusic? She plays an instrument besides piano? Huh

30:06 > Across the street you say?

30:24 > Okay, that was funny xD

31:13 > Nonnyyy, the icoonnn

31:49 > She iss!!

33:22 > STANLEYYYYYYY :DDDDD

33:38 > stanley is sooo judging him rn xD

33:44 > I forgot Stanley is his pfp xD

34:21 > she legit looks about 10 years older than him…

34:45 > Nuuuuuu Naaate :0

37:17 > Simon knows everything, Addy. Also TJ is such a sweetheart

39:31 > Ok, so, we watched the first 2 episodes in class a year ago and I fucking hate this part I get so much secondhand embarrassment so I’m sorry Janae but I’m gonna skip ahead

42:21 > Nooo, c’mon Nate! Don’t do this!

43:14 > oooooooooooh?

43:27 > Wait, so if Jake is in the pool he can’t have posted it, so it must have been Janae? If she had to write that my god poor girl qwq

44:43 > how tf did anyone get into the trunk? did she leave it unlocked? C’mon Bronwyn!

Total note count for episode 1: 96

Episode 2

00:37 > his hair is even more of a mess than usual xD

00:44 > Wait is this a flashback to when she cheated :000

00:49 > re really doesn’t

01:02 > please don’t fuck outside on the grass

01:07 > now THAT, is a view I really do not mind ;))))

01:5? > hair police? yours is literally the most basic hair ever, you have no right to talk

03:34 > shweeties

04:19 > is that a food truck right outside their school????

05:09 > yeowch

05:38 > the idea of Simon running a podcast, exposing ppl is actually a really fun concept xD

06:20 > not the contact name being “Asshole” xDDDD

06:55 > :00000000000000 Daaaaaaaaamn

07:36 > Nuuuu, Keely qwq babyyy

08:05 > i assume the teacher was turned around because that was so obvious addy!

08:20 > Bruh’s got a death note xDD he would be the type tho

08:56 > what was the notebook forrrrrrr Simoooonnn

10:00 > how tf did this random officer know that’s Addy?

11:58 > really? cmon now, thats so shitty xD

12:19 > more like Homiecide xD

13:42 > why tf is this mom reading AboutThat? xD

13:53 > HES THE MAYORS KID? Ooooh he got the moooooneeeeyyyy

15:02 > Addy……. qwq

16:09 > that was faaaaaast, coop xD

18:03 > :000000000000000

18:10 > Nooooooo, Coooooopppp qwq

20:52 > ok thats actuall kinda cute qwq can you imagine lil kid simon?

22:27 > Two late, two phone related detentions… interesting

24:07 > jis house is so prettyyyyy qwq I wanna live there!

24:16 > TINY SIMONNNNN OH MY GOD BABYYYYY QWQWQWQWQWQ

25:16 > Simon’s mom is fiiiiiiine, I see wher he get’s his good looks from xD

15:29 > Janaaaaaeeee qwq

26:26 > Simon in a suuuuiiittttt Lord have mercy!

26:38 > those fucking professionbal, model photographs xDDD

26:53 > How did she know where his room is? It’s a very very nice room tho, if I may

27:12 > wonder what that sign says…. also his bed looks nice! really comfy too :)

27:43 > look at that fucking setup man! daaaaaamn

27:50 > why is there fucking steps at the door??? xD

28:55 > can I just emphasize the fact his room looks so nice??

29:54 > yeeeeep he def got his looks from his mom, his dad is uglyy xD

30:11 > it would not, actually. not at all

31:25 > i dont think thats the best conversation starter, Maeve xD

32:08 > he did not go to hell! >:0

32:50 > A DRUMSET? AND A GUITAR????? HELLO WHERE IS THAT CONTENT?????

33:32 > Bronwyn can you stfuuuuuu you’re only making this worse

33:47 > atleast hes honest xD

35:07 > this house is so pretty qwq i am so jealous qwq

35:44 > “the incredible hair” pffff

37:56 > A, and I cannot stress this enough, WOOGA

38:59 > I’m gonna fucking scream he looks so goooooododdddd my lord i will not survive

41:22 > I am still not over that giant fucking picture of SImon in the background xD

42:46 > Girl the only thng you did was cheat ona  fucking test it’s not the end of the wrld!

46:48 > since when are full names used? wasnt it just initials in the book? now this is just evil, initials multiple ppl can have, but full names? C'mon dude!

47:25 > MAEVE??????? WhAT THE FUCK???

Total note count for episode 2: 53

Episode 3

00:17 > Keelyyyyy babyyy I love her qwq

00:47  > shes such a shweety qwq

00:59 > another PERFECT OUTFIT 10/10 MY GOD

01:04 > I don’t even know what to say at this point

01:38 > he diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid :)

02:14 > no you fucking dont!

02:55 > Addy is entering her girlboss ear and I love that for her

03:33 > bruh please just use a hairbrush xD

05:20 > its goin down!! hands are being thrown!!

06:39 > addy needs a hug qwq

07:42 > :0 escandalo!

09:10 > they kinda look like siblings wait i love it qwq

11:42 > the laptooooppppp :0

14:51 > okay Janae’s outfits are also really nice, i get why they were bffs xD

16:08 > :00000000000 MAEVEEEEEEEEE OH MY GOOOOOOOOOD

17:13 > why do literalyl all the parents in this suck?

17:39 > Addyyy what are you doing? 

17:53 > Addy! No!

19:21 > TJ looks like a kicked puppy qwq

21:14 > you didnt say it but your face sure did

22:26 > and another perfect outfit!

22:29 > he just keeps getting finer, huh?

22:47 > Daaaamn Simoooooon! :0

22:56 > he looks so ethereal, like an angel or god of some sort :0

23:15 > omg Simon is shmol qwq shmol bean

23:33 > the rings, the bracelets, the necklaces, LORD HAVE MERCY PLEASE

24:20 > NOT NATE :00000 NOOOOOO

29:17 > i love that Addy is dressing for herself now qwq

30:26 > Nooo, Coooperrrr qwq

31:18 > i know that was meant to be all angsty and stuff but it just looked so weird xD

33:56 > Awwwww, Janaaeee qwq

36:13 > WHAAAAAAAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUCK :000 I mean same, but still, I was NOT expecting that

36:53 > :0000000000000000000 my exact face rn

37:39 > oh yes we are bronwyn!

38:19 > DONT DO IT COOPER PLEASE QWQ

40:45 > There he is again, in that amazing outfit!

41:05 > his faaaaaaaaace oh my god cooper you have a death wish or something?

42:36 > out of all the 4 stories, bronwyns is the most boring to me xD

45:21 > “straight cosplay” pffffff

Total note count for episode 3: 39

Episode 4

00:31 > his outfits never miss! they’re always so good qwq

00:41 > I love that he’S smaller than atleast 3 of the 4 others xD

01:47 > STANLEY! :D 

03:20 > Janae with her hair down tho??????

13:33 > Stanley’s just listening in to all the drama xD

22:30 > how about Addy and Janae just get together? I would not complain xD

24:54 > “actual lizard” pffffff

26:13 > IT WAS JANAE???? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO QWQ

39:22 > Mf looks like a goddamn cryptid xD

41:32 > oh my god hes PISSED you can see it in his faceeee

44:19 > Maaaaaaaaaeve what are you doing????

44:50 > Its momther!

Total note count for epsiode 4: 12

Episode 5

02:00 > if I was sitting in Bronwyns spot I would not be able to focus at all xD

03:20 > Yes addy!!!! Looking good! rocking the short hair!

06:36 > where tf?

13:43 > wtf Cooper???

18:28 > Bronwyn can you not be an asshole for one episode please?

19:02 > MAEVE WAS WHAT???? TO SIMON??? IM SORRY????

21:29 > Bronwyyyyyyyyyyyn whyyyyyyyy oh my god! 

23:52 > they look like such lesbians and I am living for it

33:11 > and ANOTHER perfect fit from Simon, god damn!

39:52 > Please don’t leave Stan behind qwq

Total note count for episode 5: 10

Episode 6

01:07 > janaeeeeeeee that loooook I love itttt

4:31 > “then one summer he got abs” pfffff

04:52 > Janae gave him the idea?????

16:35 > Members of Simon’s what????

21:33 > Awwwww, wait, that’s so cute qwq I knew Janae couldn’t be straight when she dresses like that xD

22:03 > Their dynamic is just chefs kiss xD

22:26 > You can make a move on my anyday xD

33:10 > :0000000000000 NOW THAT IS NOT SOMETHING I EXPECTED TO SEE BUT I AM VERY MUCH WELCOMING IT

36:14 > why are they fucking burning the epi-pen?

37:16 > thats wierdly sweet qwq

37:29 > I know I’m just repeating myself at this point but Simon really does have the best outfits

37:48 > Ayooo? AYO???

38:37 > What if Janae, Maeve and Simon just get in a poly relationship? Problem solved xD

38:51 > His humourrrrr

40:00 > LESBIAAAAAAAAAAAAANSSSSSSSSSSS

40:25 > AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCK YEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHH

Total note count for episode 6: 16

Episode 7

09:08 > The lighting in all of these flashback Simon scenes is just so good qwq

30:32 > i would also 100% be zooming in on that xD

31:43 > that’s boat racism xD

31:47 > again, his humourrrrr top tier

Total note count for episode 7: 4

Episode 8

00:17 > I don’t want it to be over yet qwq I want more Simon qwq

03:06 > that is such a simple signature are you kidding me?

11:29 > I seriously need to calm down xD I can’t keep reacting like this any time SImon is on screen xD

11:41 > THE LIGHTING AND WINDOWS AND FRAMING AND OMG

12:08 > pfff the sheer “what the fuck” on his face xD

15:30 > AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH one day I will just die because Simon keeps looking that good!!!!

16:40 > do I even have to say anything anymore? like at all?

17:19 > “the magic words”? are you for real xD

25:39 > so him having a lizard is a reason you like him?

27:48 > lookatem with his fucking headset xD you know he streams and just annihilates little kids on vc xD

28:16 > wait so… Simon… didnt even want to kill himself? so really Jake is the reason this all happened…

41:30 > WHAT THE FUCK IS GOJNG ON?????

42:28 > So Jake… killed… Simon? Jake is the reason he’s dead, Simon didn’t want to kill himself Jake killed him! Holy fuck this is different than the book…

42:52 > God Janae looks TERRIFYING

43:24 > YEEEEEES JANAEEEEEEEEE KILL HIIIMMMMMMMMMM GET REVENGEEEEE

44:11 > I’m not even remotely sad about this. I’m happy, really

44:21 > I still cannot believe that JAKE is the reason… welp, I know what headcanons I’m making next

44:29 > …

44:42 > YES AND HE SHOULD HAVE

45:05 > I AM ACTUALLY CRYING STOP HE LOOKS SO TERRIFIED NO

45:35 > now you will cuz YOURE OTH FUCKING DEAD

50:58 > Now what if Simon actually didn’t die? Like imagine that, Jake’s plan all going to waste!

Total note count for episode 8: 25

Total note count: 255

Welp, there you have it xD I put them all together because posting one post for every episode or a pair of episodes, eventhough I'd have to split episode 1 in half, would just be too many notifications xD

So here you go, I hope you enjoy my thoughts while watching OOUIL. :D

[microsuedemouse]

tagged by @womanaction!!! I love a tag!!!

1. three ships: oh my god. just three? okay well… in the last few days or so. I have thought about. Jyn Erso/Cassian Andor from Rogue One bc god do I love their Doomed Chemistry. Aki Hayakawa/Himeno from Chainsaw Man bc I was catching up on the anime last night and their history and connection is definitely not healthy but golly does it compel me. and uhhh. oh. Annie Edison/Abed Nadir bc I was feeling STUPID squishy a few days ago and wanted to revisit one of my favourite soft ships.

2. first ship ever: oh christ. I’ve been getting too invested in fictional couples since long before I ever knew about fandom. since before I can even remember. uh. if I reach back as far as I can in my brain, I think the earliest ship I can recall caring about is… hm. well. I remember being a small child and thinking that Ord and Cassie from Dragon Tales should fall in love? so.

that said I also grew up on Disney movies and got invested in the romances in those too. so who’s to say. what I know for sure is that I’ve been unbearably romantic literally from toddlerhood; my parents can confirm.

3. currently listening: been back on my non-stop Motion City Soundtrack bullshit for a few days. tho I’m also really enjoying the latest single from Blanks! it’s called Breathe In Breathe Out and it’s very. relevant. at the moment.

4. last movie: a couple nights ago I went to a local film festival screening bc my friend had an entry in the shorts section (she won best short film btw!!!) and the feature film they played that night was a local indie horror called SHIFTED, released last year. it fucked. I bought a copy of the movie and a poster, and two of the actors signed it for me! one of the other actors followed me on ig tonight also lol? (after I put a pic of the poster in my story and tagged the studio.) anyway I hope they score some kind of wide release bc I think more people should get to enjoy it

5. currently reading: HORRORSTÖR by Grady Hendrix. it’s been on my wishlist for years, and Hendrix just put out another new book I rly wanna read, so to prevent myself from spending the money on an expensive newly-released book, I bought a less-expensive several-years-old book. I make very good budget decisions. (I’m really enjoying it so far.)

6. currently watching: aheh. well. on my own I’m still working my way through Hawaii Five-0 (2010). with Mo I’m, uh, rewatching Angel, as well as following Chainsaw Man, To Your Eternity, SPY x FAMILY, and BNHA. our Ben 10 and Darker than Black watches have been on the backburner for a good while now but are technically still ongoing. we’re also following MP100 with Corwin. I… think that’s everything?

7. currently consuming: nothing right this moment but I think I’m gonna go downstairs and get my baguette out of the fridge. I want Bread

8. currently craving: human connection???? lmfao it sounds like I’m goofing but ngl I really need to spend more time with people. I love my family so much but I cannot carry on much longer with them being the Only People I spend leisure time with. oof. how are new friends made

okay I’m supposed to tag nine people I ~want to get to know better~ but I really don’t have that many folks TO tag. so uh. @izupie @silluuuu @karis-the-fangirl you can each pretend to be three people right? 8)

[art-forlater]

rant:

i think ppl who think you’re always supposed to put your partner before everyone and everything are ppl who enable abuse. when you’re making a narrative they’re more important than anything, you should never be okay with ppl “saying bad thing” about them, basically never question them you make them doubt the ppl around them when they get worried about serious things like abuse or cheating. im not saying you should listen to every word ppl say but is it really insane to consider they’re not perfect or when you’re getting told the same red flag by many ppl it might be there. also tho that narrative helps isolate ppl and makes it easier for a toxic relationship to occur. like my friend listened to ppl like that so when ppl say bad about her partners she just ignores it bc they could do wrong so when her ex strangled her, she didn’t listen and went back and he did it again. thankfully she realized and left but even that took too long bc she was convinced he loved her and that when someone loves you they won’t hurt you bc she listened to ppl who said that shit. now she’s with a racist homophobe, despite being mixed and bisexual, and ignores his homophobia/racist shit bc “he doesn’t mean it like that, esp not at me” like when you raise ppl to prioritize romantic relationships over any other relationship in their life, you raise the chances of them being in shit relationship. and quiet fucking honestly i’m sick of ppl getting upset when you say you shouldn’t prioritize or hold romance above all else, esp when they get pissy they don’t have any real friends bc they alienated them for someone they barely even knew, then they get stuck in a long term thing with no escape. seriously, ppl need to value other relationships in their life more. i wish i could find ppl around me that do, it’s so annoying and lonely seeing your friends constantly date douche bags, cut you off bc you call it out, then expect you to pick the pieces up when they finally realize. im always gonna care but tbh i’m losing some empathy. why do you expect ppl to stick around, esp when the asses you date disrespect me too. im trans and the girl with the racist homophobe lets him be transphobic and doesn’t stop it and she misgenders ppl when with him so now i’m wondering if when she talks about me, she’s misgendering me and now i feel like i can’t trust her bc some man who disregards her wants and needs, from the very beginning, is more important than our life long friendship. i know i should walk away but she’s basically isolated herself, again bc of who she dates. i hate throwing that away but also she doesn’t seem to values friends. im sick of watching ppl ignore obvious red flags, ignore warnings about red flags, and getting surprised when exactly what i said would happen, happened, and then expecting me to, honestly care. like i genuinely don’t and i feel like a tool for it bc abuse is complicated but it’s like if they keep doing it and nothings helping them, it’s like waiting for a train wreck and i don’t wanna watch anymore crashes. idk. i hate it all. people just suck. at least where i live. i wonder if there are ppl out there who get it. if one day i don’t gotta live watching everyone around be used and abused. i hate it

[ruka-eru]

Short Scene (20.1)

Short Scene 20.1 (I love you more than my money!)

Type Of Story: Short Scene, Continuous, Unfinished

Genre: Love, Romance, Drama

(#Author long Hiatus Notes: Please read previous previous scenes before this scene and heads up for awkward writing :3 I just get back to life!)

At Takamina’s Luxury Condominium…

Around 2 PM….

“Haaiissskkkkk….Hiiskkkk.....”

As I said while trying to get myself up. I’m not sure, but I think, I was sleeping on the couch. My head feels really hurt. I hold hard on my head while still shutting my eyes tightly. Once, I’m sitting, I could feel that someone gets closer to me and hands me a glass of water. Without looking or asking, I quickly take the drink and drank it in one shot. Once I finished it, I put the glass beside me and slowly watching on the clock above the LED tv..

It's 2.05 PM…

I bet Jurina and Sae already went to their part-time work at the moment. I noticed that I’m wearing a singlet. I might remove my working shirt last night due to feeling really hot.

I’m slowly rubbing my forehead but then, suddenly someone grabs my right hand.

“It’s bleeding…”

Hearing the voice, I quickly move my head to my left side because I recognize this voice!

“Ehhh?!! Acchan?!! What are you doing in here?!!”

I got really surprised and widened my eyes…

“I mean…. How can you be in here?! How did you get in?!”

I corrected my words.

“Well… you don’t need to know how I get in here…. The thing is….Do you know how worried I am about you last night?”

As she asked while softly squeeze on my bleeding wound.

“Ahh!! Ittaii!!”

Half-shouted from my voice when feeling the pain. I tried to pull my hand from her but seems failed. She holds hard onto it. As I continued my words…

“How did you know that I’m here?!”

“It doesn’t matter Minami! Were you drunk last night?”

She asked.

“No…”

Short answer from me, making she cuts off my word,

“Liar! You called me last night! I could sense that you were drunk!”

“It doesn’t matter whether I'm drunk or not! Why do you want to be bothered about it?!”

I accidentally louder my voice while furiously standing up from my seat.

“Because I want to know the truth!”

As she said and this time, she’s also standing up from her place. She’s facing with me.

“Truth about what? Whether I’m drunk or not…?”

I asked with confused face.

“Truth about this….”

As she suddenly takes out her cellphone and play a voice call from her phone.

“I’m not okay, Atsuko….I love you so much… Why are you doing this to me…I cannot even hate you...shhh…”

“Fuck me….”

I accidentally mumbling when hearing the voice call. Then, she turns her view to me making me quickly deny on it.

“That is not me! I don’t even call you last night!”

“It was your number, Minami…. And it is your voice…. Your husky voice…”

She said while showing her phone screen to me. As she continued her words,

“You know… my phone has auto recording whenever someone called me. And I have a full conversation between you and me last night… you wanna hear it?”

Hearing her statement, making me quickly said,

“No thanks! I think there has a misunderstanding last night…”

“Ohh, really? So, you wanna say…. You wrongly confessed to me?”

“I don’t love you though…..”

Quick answer from me while turning my face to another side.

“Oh really?”

She asked in a curious tone.

“Yeah of course… who wanna love an arrogant, selfish rich lady…?”

I said with a mocking tone, making her talk back to me,

“What about the door lock password? Do you still want to deny it, Minami?”

“Please don’t be misunderstood, it was just random numbers! Why do you think I’m gonna use your birthday as my door password?!”

“I never said that number is my birthday date…”

Gosh! Now she really got me! Me and my foul mouth!

“Whatever…”

I quickly want to move my body from her, but then,

“Please let me treat your wound, the bandage needs to be changed!”

She’s suddenly grabbing my hand again. I could see the bandage is getting redder than before. She was right. My hand is bleeding again. I guess I slam the table too hard last night.

“It was nothing…. I can change it by myself. You can leave the house now. It’s making me have a headache to see your face again today…”

I said with a cold voice while pulling my hand from her.

“Do you hate me, Minami?”

Her voice is suddenly changing, and I can see her face is getting sad now.

“Ugh, you should leave. I’ll see you on Monday...”

I said in tiring voice. I don’t wanna answer her question. However, she’s on the other side still doesn’t want to leave.

“No, I won’t leave. I heard that Rena and Yukirin are staying here. So, I will be waiting for them to come back.”

“What?!”

As I replied in a shocked face. I continued my words,

“So you know this place from them?!”

“No…”

Short answer from her.

“Then how do you know I’m here? How do you know this place?!”

I asked with curious tone, making she’s slowly taking out something from her handbag.

“Someone gave me this…..”

She shows me an access card that is very similar with mine, which is Gold colour. That is so weird because I’m the only one who owns that card! The others only have black colour because it’s a copy card from my original card.

“How did you get my card?!”

I quickly searching my wallet inside my pants. I start searching my card in my wallet, but then,

“Ehhh?!! I still have my card with me! How did you get that card?!”

I’m feeling really shocked when knowing that she has another similar card with mine!

“You don’t need to know, Minami~”

As she said while grinning to me. She made that grin again! The crinkle nose grin! Oh my God, it’s so beautiful….

“I could guess that was from my mama, right…?”

With half open eyes, I’m saying to her. I knew whatever I do, wherever I went, my mom will be knowing about my activity. She always hired someone to spy on me. This started when the time Miyazawa-ojiisan’s incident. Urgh… that nightmare that making all of us still remember forever! I guess my mom knows this condo including the password. Tsk!

But then, she tried to change the topic,

“Can I help you change the bandage, Minami? It’s no use to chase me out from here. I won’t leave the house!”

“Urgh… fine! Just leave me alone after you change the bandage because I’m still having a hangover…”

My foul mouth again is always giving me trouble!

“I thought you said you are not drunk!”

Her voice sounds mad.

“Ahh…  where’s the first aid kit before… I thought I put here somewhere…”

I just ignore her words while faking searching the first aid kit in a drawer. She’s on the other side just watching my movement silently.

“Here, change it fast. No talking!”

I gave command to her while handing her the first aid kit. Hearing my command, we’re both sitting back again on the couch. She’s slowly unwrapping the bandage on my hand. I could see that there has cold blood around my wound. She keeps focusing on my hand while me on the other side, start focusing on her face down to her appearance.

“She’s so beautiful today, as usual….”

I said in mind while keep watching on her body. She wears a simple silky blouse with knee-length skirt. And of course, she smells good. I really love her perfume. Smells mix berries fruity. It’s very soft smell and making me like wanna kiss her on her neck. I didn't realize nor feel about my hand anymore. Whether it hurts or not, I don’t feel it…

What do I feel right now is…

I want to nuzzle my face on her neck. I must be crazy because suddenly, I move my hand and flip her hair above her ear, revealing her beautiful neck besides me. Feeling my movement, she’s suddenly turning her view to me. I quickly ignore her views while faking feeling hurt in front of her,

“Ah, ittai!”

I could see that she had finished her job.

“Ah, gomen-ne.. is it hurt?”

She keeps squeezing my hand softly.

“Umm….not anymore..”

I just keep looking on my hand.

“You know what, Minami… I don’t like you to drink alone…”

She starts the conversation again.

“I was not drinking alone. I drink with my friends….”

I protested with her.

“Well… I don’t like you drink when I’m not beside you!”

She’s suddenly saying the word while moving her face closer to mine. We’re still sitting on the couch. That’s why she can get really close to me right now. I wonder why her sudden changing behavior. Before this, she was acting very cold towards me. But today… she seems different…

“I never drink at the outside you know…”

As I explained to her. Then, I continued my words,

“I will always drink at home, usually at our hideout place…”

“But I don’t like you to get drunk in front of other people. I don’t like you to act weird in front of them when you were drunk!”

I don’t know why she’s suddenly become sensitive right now, and yet, very controlling on me... ? It doesn't even her problem!

“They are not just people, you know. They are my friends! Yet, my very close friend! And why should I be drunk in front of you? You are not my lover! Not even my friend!”

There it goes again. Another foul mouth from me, making her suddenly saying,

“What did you say…? I’m not your lover?”

She tilted her head while looking sharply to my face.

“Yeah, you are not my lover! Not my friend! Why did you care about me if I'm being drunk in front of other people or not?!”

Hearing my statement, making her suddenly becomes mad as she grabs my singlet’s collar and drag my body closer to hers.

“Then, if that so… should I be your lover so that you won’t be allowed to get drunk in front of your friends anymore, Minami…?”

She’s saying the words before she crashed her lips on mine! She’s kissing me deeply right now!

“Umpphh! Atsuko! What are you doing?!”

As I pushed her and broke the kiss…

“Making you to be my lover of course!”

She said while this time she grabs on my back hair and gently squeeze on it. She tried to kiss me for the second time, but I quickly stop her,

“If you are trying to tease me, please stop! I’m not in the mood to play teasing game right now!”

As I warned her because I thought she’s teasing me now. I furrowed my eyebrows while looking sharply into her beautiful brown eyes.

“I’m not teasing…. and I’m not kidding…. ”

She’s suddenly explained in soft voice. Her face reaction is changing right now. She looks me in the eyes like she’s very sincere with her words! Does she really like me now? I’m so confused! How I wish she could confess it clearly! We both look at each other for a while, until she tried to make another movement as want to kiss me on the lips again. However, I stop her by saying,

“My breath still stinks…”

I said while closing my mouth.

“Who cares about it anyway?!”

As she harshly pushes my hand away from my mouth and kiss me for the second time again, for real this time! I’m feeling weak at the moment because I’m still having a headache and hang over. I don’t have any energy to push her away from me. Besides, her scent smells good, making my heart beating so fast and out of control again. I start to get very excited with her kissing. Without my notice, my right hand is suddenly gone wild, as I slip my hand inside her blouse and gently squeeze on her right mound, making she moans in kissing.

“Unn~~ Minami….”

She squeezed hard on my back hair and this time, she starts to slip her tongue inside my mouth and explore every each of it. I let her win at the moment.  I give permission to her while my hand is till squeezing on her breast. I could feel that bra’s fabric is covering her breast and make me feel unsatisfied with it. I want to feel the softness of her mound. Due to the excitement, I decided to make another move again, as I push my hand harder to slip inside her bra and feeling her harden nipple. Once I feel it, I twist around my index finger on her harden nipple and start to play with it. Feeling with my movement, she’s suddenly broke the kiss. As she moans my name without stopping, making me becomes wild towards her. I don’t know what’s happening to me right now! I think I’m still drunk!

“Unnn~ Hyann~ Mina~mi….”

Her husky voice is so sexy. I could guess that she’s also feeling excited that the moment. Once she broke the kiss, I didn’t stop myself, as I move my kiss to her neck and nuzzle my face on her neck at the same time. My hand is still moving as still playing with her nipple while gently squeeze on it. I keep kissing her neck and after that, I move my kiss back to her lips. I wrap my other hand around her torso and pull her closer to my body. She really loves it when I’m this wild towards her.

I keep doing what I’m doing to her right now, until…

*Click! (door open)*

“Tadaima~”

It’s Yukirin’s voice! She just come back with Rena! They enter inside the living room very fast as I cannot even pull my body yet from Acchan! Once they are in the living room, they both are standing in front of us with surprising face!

“Takamina?! Acchan?!!”

Half-shouted from Yukirin voice with overreaction surprising face. She saw both of us quickly broke the kiss when seeing them together in the living room right now. On the other side, Rena is feeling shocked too, but she was just standing there without saying anything. She just widens her eyes, and I could see that she starts blushing when saw that my hand is inside Acchan’s blouse! Noticed with her view, I furiously pull my hand out of Acchan’s blouse. With fast movement, I’m standing up from my seat.

“Ohh, you guys are back?! I—I think I’m gonna take shower now! It feels very hot in here!”

I said in awkward while slowly moving my body away from here. After that, I’m walking fast and heading to my room which is the master bedroom. I can’t even looking back at them!

It’s really embarrassing right now! How can I face with them after this?!

My gosh!

- - - - -

To be updated (me and my lazy mind...)

[tsabhira05]

Incorrect Quote Generator

(Alnith is my Tav- female outlander wood elf moon druid... who preferred wildshaping into a polar bear until owlbear became an option... yes she romanced Halsin (and Gale, thank you mods!) who I did not know existed when I created her)

Wyll, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe? Minsc: Yeah, sure. A few minutes later Minsc: Here you go. Wyll: Minsc: Halsin: Why am I here?

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Alnith: I love you. Gale: How many people have you said that to? Alnith: Everyone. Gale: What? Alnith: I told everyone that I love you.

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the Squad cleaning up Wyll: Pick up the nearest piece of trash and throw it away. Karlach, to Astarion: Aight, which bin do you wanna go in—

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Gale: You know I think my life has value. Wyll: Who are you and what have you done with Gale?!

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Halsin, texting group chat: What flavour of ice cream do you guys want? I’m at the store so be quick! Minsc: Moose Tracks is good! Astarion: What the fuck is that!? Minsc: Gasp How dare you insult moo- Astarion: No. No no not that. What the hell. Why do you spell flavor like flavour. It’s like you have flavor but then this guy shows up and is like “Oui Oui Would you like chocolate flaVOUR or vanilla flaVOUR. Halsin and Minsc: what? Astarion: I don’t get it why add the EXTRA u when it’s PERFECTLY FINE AS IT IS!? Halsin: You done now? Astarion: Yeah ok. Halsin and Minsc: … Astarion: …Can I have the Mint Chocolate chip flavour?

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Astarion: ARE YOU- Alnith: Fucking. Astarion: KIDDING ME?! YOU- Alnith: Fucking. Astarion: IDIOT! Halsin: …What was that? Alnith: Gale banned Astarion from swearing, so I’m helping them out.

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Dammon: What's the scariest horror movie you've ever watched? Astarion: IT. Karlach: Annabelle. Shadowheart: Paranormal Activity. Halsin: High School Musical. All throughout high school I was scared that everyone was gonna randomly get up and start singing and dancing, and I would be the only one who doesn't know the words.

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Astarion: Oh no! I’m doomed! Gale: Seriously? All you have to do is not insult Alnith at their own memorial service. Astarion: Exactly! It’s impossible!

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Alnith: Hey Dammon, I’ve got an idea for how to solve this. Dammon, pulling out a shotgun: Yeah? Alnith: Wh- No! That’s not the idea, Dammon!

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Alnith: Make her pussy wet not her eyes. Minsc: Make his dick hard not his life. Halsin: Break her bed not her heart. Astarion: Play with her boobs not her feelings. Shadowheart: Get on his dick not his nerves. Gale: Always salt your pasta while boiling it.

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Jaheira, looking at the squad: Okay, so I need to become a therapist faster.

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Alnith: I once went on holiday and pretended to be twins. It was amazing fun. I invented this mad, glamorous sibling and went around really annoying everybody. And d'you know, I could get away with anything when I was my crazy twin Alnith. Minsc: But you're Alnith. Alnith: Kinda stuck. It’s a long story.

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Jaheira: Why shouldn't you put a toaster in a bathtub full of water? Karlach: Because your toast would get soggy!

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Alnith: Hugs Astarion from behind Alnith: Tucks Astarion's hair behind their ear Alnith, whispering: Eat all the frosted animal crackers again and they'll never find your body.

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Alnith: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY- Gale: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~ Alnith: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH- Halsin, recording: This is so cute.

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Dammon: Are you drunk? Gale: Only on the spirit of Christmas! Wyll: And the spirit of whisky.

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Alnith: And have you learnt anything this Christmas, Halsin? Halsin: …Not really. Alnith: Nothing? Halsin: Tell you one thing I have learnt—Christmas; ultimately, commercial holiday. Who's the real winner at Christmas? Amazon. they have drones now! Tiny little dystopian slaves delivering iPads and headphones. I ordered a toaster; It was on the doorstep five hours later! Do we need that? It was 4.99! For a toaster! I mean, someone's being exploited there.

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Minsc: Not gonna lie, I'm kind of afraid of Astarion… Gale: As you should be. Minsc: No, for real, they're kind of- Gale: As. You. Should. Be.

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Karlach: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon. Jaheira: Spear. Karlach: BLOCKED.

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Wyll: It doesn’t have a bone. Minsc: Then why is it called a boner?

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Karlach: This is a judgement free zone. Pulls out a knife the size of their forearm Karlach: And I mean it.