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reidmania · 22 days ago

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sharpest tool | s.reid

(chapter ten, spoiling me)

‘If I ask you for space you write seven-page letters. I used to think that meant I couldn't do better, you blow up at me then you pay for my dinner. I used to think that meant I wound up the winner. But front after front I was taught to forgive, you bought me to rot on the shelves of your fridge and you keep me around 'til you're hungry enough but my face has gone grey, There is mold in my gut’

summary; reader isn’t sure how to feel or how to react when she finds out the truth behind spencer’s sudden absence.

warnings; mentions of death, insecurity, female reader, avoidant reader, angst, first part in italics is a flash back, talks about hotch losing haley, no real details about that case, arguing, no closure.

taglist; @gghostwriter @lavonee @guiltyyassin @spencersinonlygf @criminalmindssworld @iknwreid @fortheloveofgubler @yokaimoon @sapphirecobalt-1 @eddiesdrummergf @livvyliv15 @lover-of-books-and-tea @sebastiansstanswhore @bloodredrubyrose @sp3ncelle @nemobee777 @jencole214 @hazzarules @ameerakane20 @lucere @cultish-corner @psyches-reid

“Tell me something true.”

Your head turned at the sound of Spencer’s voice, a small smile across your features. Your house was warm, cosy and decorated in a way that only could be described as you. You knew Spencer was just glad to me here, it had taken a while for you to let him in the presence of your home. You always deemed someones home the most personal thing about them.

You had been recently questioning where home was.

Sure, your house provided you with comfort after a long day, you craved the warmth of your bed when your feet ached, you could hide in the walls that weren’t alive, they let you bury yourself in emotion to difficult to articulate. You liked that. Your house, there was never any pressure to be anything other than you.

So what were you to do when Spencer made you feel the same way?

You tucked your bottom lip between your teeth as you thought over his question. Pushing your back up against the cushions of the sofa, heels of your feet digging in beneath you as you turned your body to face him, the documentary playing on the tv now long forgotten as your gaze met his.

He was wrapped tightly in a cotton sweater, you were sure in a few days the same sweater would be lost in your wardrobe. He never minded when you borrowed his clothes, deeming they were softer, more comfortable than your own. It was becoming more difficult to ignore the feeling in your chest that bloomed everytime he was around.

“True?” You repeated, furrowing your eyebrows. It was an out of the blue statement, he nodded in response, as he nudged himself closer to you on the couch. You tilted your head a little, “What do you mean, i’ve never told you anything untrue.” You said.

He rolled his eyes, you didn’t have to question why. You both knew deep down what he meant by his question. He was asking you to let him in. You thought letting him into your house was doing just that. Maybe he cared more about knowing your mind.

“You don’t talk. Like- about yourself, about your childhood, or your work, or how high school was- So, tell me something true.” He explained, even though he knew you already understood what he meant. If you needed the verbal clarification, he would give it.

You smiled. He wasn’t wrong and you weren’t embarrassed nor ashamed about your privacy. He would argue you couldn’t call it privacy if you were avoiding talking about it, then it crossed over to secrets. You didn’t mind having secrets either. But you liked Spencer, more than you were willing to admit and the fact he was providing you with the same sort of safe feeling your house did, well it made it easier to be open. To talk about the difficult things.

“What do you want to know?” You asked.

“Why you won’t go out with me.”

You let out a breathy laugh and rolled your eyes. He didn’t seem phased by your reaction to his want, nor surprised. You should’ve expected that to be what he wanted to know, apparently the response you gave the first 23 times he asked wasn’t good enough, maybe because he knew it wasn’t true just as much as you did. “i already told you, I just don’t want a relationship.”

“But why?”

You shrugged, was there an answer to his question, of course. But there was a line you drew in confessing and dumping your past on people, and that conversation would fall over the line, the very thick, very defined line. Unfortunately Spencer’s presence in your life began to blur many lines, ones that seemed once so clear, now smudged. You had yet to decide whether that was a good or a bad thing. It wasn’t just the trauma dumping line blurring, it was every one. It was all of them.

Everything you thought you knew began to shift, your perspectives changed on things when he shared his opinion, your mind was opener, you were more comfortable. You were happier. Maybe not because of him, or because he provided you with more happiness than your life originally had. You were content with your life before meeting Spencer, but there was something nice about having a friend.

“Theres always.. I..” you faltered, shifting uncomfortably, your legs untucking from under you to instead pull to your chest as your arms tangled around your shins, chin resting on your knees. “I’ve always, kind of felt like i was just existing, never really living. I noticed that a while ago, so i decided that if i was going to have to exist, id at least do it peacefully.”

“Relationships aren’t peaceful for you?” He tilted his head, it wasn’t an accusation the way he said it, it was genuine curiosity.

“They haven’t been.” You answered with a shrug. Wishing not to recall your last relationship.

Spencer shuffled closer. His arm’s folding over his chest as he pushed his back further into the couch cushions. He was staring at you, eyes flicking over your features. You were smart enough to realise he was profiling you, trying to see if you were uncomfortable, trying to read you.

“You’re profiling me.” You hummed. He didn’t hesitate in nodding.

“You’re hard to read.” He said, turning his body slightly to better face you. If you knew anything about profiling, or psychology you’d assume he was more uncomfortable than you were talking about this, or maybe he was simply just nervous. “I’ve never really had much trouble in reading people. I can’t read you.”

You tilted your head, you half took it as a compliment. Dedicating so much of your time to making sure nobody really knew you, dedicating so much of your time to wondering if you even knew who you were, to hear that time pay off, well it made you feel a little better about the hole you had dug yourself into all those years ago, the one that seemed a little bit too deep to get out of.

“Does that bother you?” You asked simply. Wondering if much like many others, he would give up trying to figure you out, you’d be slightly disappointed if he did, but not entirely. You simply didn’t want to be figured out. You didn’t want to be read, or profiled, you wanted to stay as you were, even if the look in Spencer’s eyes was convinced of otherwise.

He shrugged, “Not really.” The goofy smile on his face appeared moments after, “I like puzzles.”

You didn’t know whether to be amused or unsettled by his dedication.

“Your turn, tell me something true.” You changed the topic, hoping that maybe the curious look in his gaze would disappear if he had a moment to forget why he was so set on learning every thing about you.

He grinned widely as he rested his head against the couch cushion, looking at you. “I really like you.” He said simply. You hated the way your cheeks rose of colour, you hated that his words made your skin feel a little tight around your bones. You hated that you couldn’t tell whether the feeling swirling in your stomach was a bad gut feeling, or butterflies.

You shook your head anyways, “You have told me that a million times. Pick a different true.”

“But thats the truest I have.” He sounded offended. Not by your lack of response, he knew what you’d say, yet he never failed to remind you that he did in-fact, really like you.

“Spence, pick a different one.”

He huffed, faux frustration over his features as he leant his head back to think for a moment, his eyes travelling the lengths of the ceiling in your home, memorising it. You watched the side of his face, eyes travelling over the curve of his nose and jawline, before he turned his head to look at you, a almost sweet smile on his face.

You didn’t like the way it made you feel.

“One of my biggest fears is losing someone because of my work, someone getting involved or being at harm because of me, thats why i don’t date- really.” He said, the smile on his face remained as he looked at you, but the words that left his lips made your heart frown. You shuffled a little closer, not even realising you were doing it.

“But you have asked me out a thousand times.” You countered, not because you didn’t believe the fear of his, but out of curiosity.

“Yeah well.. I guess we both have fears in relationships, right? I guess i just think its not worth worrying about those things until they might actually happen. Like- you’re worried you’ll get hurt again, I’m worried my job will hurt you, but they aren’t problems right now. You know?”

You smiled, rolling your eyes and shaking your head before leaning into his side. Choosing not to reply.

You slumped against the wooden headboard of his bed, you tried to keep your focus on the small worn out indents over the wood, the detailing, you tried to figure out what wood it was, not that you had enough knowledge on wood to make that decision, you tried your best anyways. You could assume it was red oak, expect it was too dark, maybe it was painted with a wood stain, or maybe it was a different type of wood. Walnut, it could be walnut, that was a darker sort of wood, you were pretty sure, but the marbling texture told you otherwise. Maybe rustic brown maple.

Maybe you were just going insane.

The silence in the room was deafening and the more time went on the more you were convinced that you were purely wasting your time. After Spencer had convinced you to stay for his explanation, you found yourself back on his bed, he sat on the edge of it, watching you as you studied the headboard, the one you had seen a hundred times, or more, yet never gave much thought to. You were waiting for him to say something, anything other than the same apology you had heard repeatedly.

“Do you remember when I left for the case?” Was the first thing he said. It came out timid, careful, his words caused you to stiffen slightly, your shoulders growing tense with the weight of the memory. Of course you remember, it was physically impossible for you to forget.

You didn’t look away from the headboard, now almost dedicated to figuring out what wood it was made out of. You let out a hum, letting him know you were listening, letting him know you did in fact remember the day he left for the case. You remembered driving around for twenty minutes extra while he was taking you home because he was dedicated to finding you basic frosted sugar cookies.

He shifted, you felt the bed dip further as he added more of his weight to it. The closer he got the heavier the air seemed, your body tense with not only all of the memories, the conversation, but also the fact that you were still half foggy from your previous orgasm, you were uncomfortable, despite the fact Spencer made you clean yourself up before having this conversation, because he cared about your health and hygiene even if you wouldn’t let him take care of you after.

He cleared his throat, maybe he was feeling the tension just as much as you were. “I spent every spare second I had texting or calling you for the first few days.” He clarified, expect you knew this, he did this on every case he went on. You didn’t question that he once cared, you believed that, but you questioned what changed.

“Then you stopped.” You mumbled, not breaking your gaze on the headboard, head tilted up so your eyes to travel the detailing of it.

Spencer nodded, “Then I stopped.” He confirmed quietly.

You werent completely sure where to go from there, what to say, what not to say. You didn’t want to plead for an answer why, again. The process seemed repetitive, exhausting. This time you didn’t have to ask.

“A little while ago, Hotch, you know Hotch. He lost his wife.” Spencer spoke, you watched as his fingers dwindled absentmindedly. Your gaze no longer focused on the wood texture or type, now taken by what he was saying, how it related. The same confusing feeling in your stomach that you still hadn’t learnt how to differentiate between a bad gut feeling and a bundle of butterflies.

“Oh.”

Bad response. You knew that. But you didn’t have a lot to say. You didn’t know how someone was supposed to react to something like that, you didn’t know how Spencer expected you to react.

Spencer shuffled so he was better facing you, “I- uh. I won’t go into detail, but it was because of our work.” He muttered, his voice strained and heavy with indication you failed to recognise, or better yet understand.

You were quiet for a while, he let you be. Your eyes never meeting his because this conversation seemed heavier than you expected it to. When you spoke your voice was heavy with emotion, unintentionally so, “Spencer.” A breathy reminder that you were here for a reason.

He knew, he shuffled. You realised how much he was moving around, now nervous he was. Almost as nervous as you. “The case- When I stopped- When i ghosted you, there was an empty threat made against the team by an unsub.” He didn’t want to admit it, you could tell by the strain in his voice and the way his eyes no longer begged yours to meet them.

“Oh.”

“I guess i realised how much danger I was putting you into.” He huffed out. Leaning back against the headboard. The headboard that moments ago you had been studying like it was the most interesting thing in the world, now you couldn’t imagine focusing on anything other than the weight of his confession.

The sweetest reason maybe, for your safety. He removed himself from your life for the sake of your life. Maybe it was an act of love, maybe it proved how much he cared for you. You weren’t sure how to understand what he was telling you, you had a million questions lodged in your throat. All that seemed impossible to get out.

Maybe it was the sweetest intention, but he was immature with the way he went about it. He left like you didn’t matter, like you weren’t worth an explanation.

“You didn’t think to just tell me that?” Was what you said in response, it came out harsh, full of offence. You were offended.

“You would’ve tried to convince me otherwise.”

“Thats a lousy excuse and you know it.” It came out rough, you were sitting up at facing him and every part of you screamed to get the hell out of there and never see him again, yet something kept you sitting. Maybe the hurt you felt, maybe the anger. You weren’t sure, and you didn’t think you cared.

He sighed, “I didn’t want to lose you.”

“Yeah- Right. And how’d that work out for you?” You spat back.

He shuffled uncomfortably before meeting your eyes. “You are alive.”

“I was at no immediate risk.”

“But you could be! Thats what you aren’t understanding— That wasn’t the first time its crossed my mind. If something happened to you, it would be on me. If you got hurt, it was on me. If you got killed, it would be on me. Not only that — but I’d lose you, your friends would lose you, your family would lose you. I value your life more than I value how i feel about you. Im sorry thats not what you want to hear but its true.”

You shut up after that for a moment. How could you argue when his mind seemed so made up. Did you even want to convince him otherwise? It wasn’t like you hadn’t considered the possibility of being in danger before, but the fear always seemed so insignificant compared to the way he made you feel. How were you supposed to argue against him.

“You deserve better.” He said, moving off his bed.

How could you argue with what you knew was true?

You huffed, “Why would you not just talk to me about this Spencer? Why would you make this decision for me? Why are you telling me what risks i am and am not willing to take?” You weren’t sure you wanted an answer. You weren’t sure of anything anymore.

He looked at you, and you swore there was a flicker of something in his eyes, something so gentle and familiar. “A relationship with me is not worth your life.” He stated.

You wanted to yell at tell him that wasn’t his decision to make, that he couldn’t decide this for you. That he was being a coward. A few months ago you would’ve. A few months ago you would’ve done anything for him, you would’ve sat there and reassured him, changed his mind.

Now you weren’t sure.

You moved off his bed like he had moments prior, the room was heavy with an uncomfortable amount of silence. Tension. Unspoken words on both ends. There was still a million things left to say, yet you no longer wanted to stick around to hear them.

“Yeah, Im beginning to see that.”

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the-californicationist · 11 months ago

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a safe house

(Price/Reader) SFW - But MDNI on my blog please!

“Ghost! How copy? Riley, come in!” Price shouted into his headset.

You were sending cover fire over the fallen tree that you and your captain were hiding behind. Unfortunately, you’d been separated from the rest of your team. Soap, Ghost, and Gaz were on the other side of the large, icy ravine, and they had done a good job drawing the enemy away from the target zone. Price kept trying to connect, but there was too much snow cover. A nasty blizzard was rolling in, and you needed to find better shelter, quickly.

“Captain! Enemy has been eliminated. We need to find shelter,” you tried to pull him up off of the ground.

He looked up at you, frustrated,

“Aye, Corporal, but they’ll be back. We need to find a way to warn the boys.”

“Look,” you showed him the map on your datapad, “Laswell said there’s an old town…I think she called it Khabnoye? It’s been abandoned for years, about two klicks away. There might be some old technology, radios, whatever. We can reach them on some long-range.”

“Alright, let’s move.”

It was a short distance, but the terrain was brutal due to the snow. You made it there by nightfall, and carefully approached the outskirts of the town, following Price’s lead to scope out possible enemy combatants. There was no one in sight. It truly was a ghost town, and you were justifiably creeped the hell out.

A small house was mostly intact near the very edge of the town, plenty of empty space around its edges, and only one broken window. You began to sweep the rooms, of which there were only three, noting that its prior occupants had left in quite a hurry sometime in the late 80s. You were fighting a nameless, secret war inside of the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone, so most of the towns you came across were similarly abandoned.

You stood in the kitchen with Price, catching your breath and unpacking your bag. He was starting up the small, convective space heater checking for high levels of radiation in the room, making sure it was sustainable for the night.

“Alright, let’s go dark. No lights, no comms until we get a better idea about what happened,” he said in a low voice.

“Yes, sir. I did get a notification from Soap, but the message is unreadable,” you showed him the datapad before you powered it down.

He sighed,

“At least we know he’s alive and stable enough to send comms. We’ll work on connecting when this storm blows through.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Drop the formality, Sparrow. Not spending the whole night listening to your sirs.”

He was upset. The operation was ruined, and he had no idea where his team was or if they were even alive anymore. You said nothing, letting him unpack two MREs and prep the bags for you. You checked the other rooms. There was a tiny, filthy bathroom without running water, and a bedroom with a dingy full mattress without sheets. You set to work arming the windows with night vision motion cameras - much good may it do you with all this snow - and rigged the front door.

“No use,” Price muttered, digging into his chili and beans MRE, starving.

“Why? You think we’re safe here?”

“No tracks in or out. No trash younger than me, and no pings for ten miles,” he showed you his passive EMP monitor, “Our tracks are covered by now with the storm. They’ll assume we rendezvoused back at the base. It was closer and easier to access.”

“Closer? Why’d you come here then?”

“Base might be compromised,” he shrugged, “Couldn’t reach McTavish, so we can’t assume anything at this point. Might as well get comfortable and wait til morning. This’ll clear once the sun comes out, and we’ll send an AM ping.”

You sighed a breath of pure relief,

“I know I’ve only been with you guys for a few months, but honestly, I don’t know what’s more impressive, your technology or your level-headedness under insane fire. Feeling very much like the amateur I am, Captain.”

“You handled yourself well out there, little bird. I’m impressed,” his praise rushed through you like adrenaline, and you basked in it.

“Thanks, Cap,” you smiled, drinking the broth of your soup and packing up your MRE trash into its bag.

“You smoke cigars, love?”

It was midnight before you even considered going to bed. You and Price had stayed up in the kitchen, smoking and chatting in the dark, only illuminated by the glow of your ashes. The snow fluttered down outside, layering itself on the ground like a pile of white sheets. There’d be at least two feet of it at the door tomorrow morning.

“...and I got this one in Amsterdam, chasing some smugglers out of the wharf. Motherfucker stabbed me right through the arm. Missed the bones, thank Christ. But, that’s not the bad one.”

You were telling each other stories about your scars, and you were in all states of dress. It was warm with the space heater, and you were comfortable around each other. Aside from admiring the mountainous swell of his shoulders and chest, you tried not to think much of it. He was hot, but he wasn’t interested. You just had a small crush. It would pass.

Okay, maybe a big crush. But, you had some self-control.

Some.

“Oh,” he leaned across the table to get closer and look at your arm, “What was the bad one?”

You blushed, not that he could see it,

“It’s in a certain spot. Not sure you want to - ”

“Don’t make me beg, little bird,” he smirked, rolling his eyes at your modesty.

He was right, of course. You weren’t sure why you were shy.

Liar. You were shy because you had an enormous, filthy crush on your commanding officer.

You tucked your elbow beneath your shirt and pulled it up over your chest, showing him your sternum,

“This one. It’s a - ”

“Flare burn,” he whispered, his demeanor changing from jovial to serious very quickly.

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

He was silent for a long time. You watched as Price too a big mouthful of cigar smoke before letting it billow around him, looking like a big, brooding dragon in the quiet room.

“How’d you get it?” He asked, avoiding your question.

“Enemy trap. They rigged the door to blow a flare. My vest, all my plate, none of it mattered. The flare burned so hot that it cut right through the gear like butter. If it wasn’t for our medic knowing that he needed to knock it out, I would’ve died. Three weeks in the med bay. It was bad.”

Price reached out slowly, almost as if not to scare you, and touched the circular wound. It wasn’t sexual, but that didn’t stop you from immediately feeling aroused by having his hands on you. You shuddered involuntarily, and he jerked his hand back. The silence in the room was suffocating.

“Sorry, little bird,” he whispered his apology, “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” you chuckled, taking a drag of his cigar for yourself, trying to calm down, “Uh, no.”

“What?” He prodded, not realizing what truth he was asking you for.

“It’s nothing, sir,” you stood up from the table, trying to escape, and forgetting you were in a 200 square foot house.

He stood with you, reaching out to touch your shoulder. You sighed into his contact against your will, feeling the stress of the day melt away as he did.

“It just…” You tried to throw him a hint, “Feels good, you know. To be touched. Been a long time… sorry, sir.”

“Told you to swallow those sirs, little bird,” he whispered in a low rumble, putting his other hand on your other shoulder, grabbing you gently.

There was very little space between your bodies now that you were away from the table, standing in the no-man’s-land between the bed and the kitchenette. It smelled like sweat and tobacco and 1987 in there, and you were breathing hard, nervous and desperate for him to do something to you that he couldn’t take back.

“Sorry,” you said under your breath, not knowing what else to tell him.

Price lifted your chin up to meet his eyes, grabbing your jaw firmly, but gently. In the blackness of the night, the moon reflected only a little of his icy blue eyes, and the glow from his cigar made his face appear sharp and saurian. You didn’t expect for his touch to be so light. Just hours ago, he’d snapped a man’s neck with these same hands, and now he was passing the pad of his thumb over your bottom lip like you were the petal of an orchid, careful not to bruise you.

“I’m trying,” his breath was ragged as he confessed, “I promise, I’m trying to let it go, little bird.”

“Let what go?” You put your hands on his hips, trying to steady yourself, feeling dizzy with lust and fear.

“My desire,” he put his forehead against yours, closing his eyes, struggling, “Turn me away. Please, little bird. End my fucking torment. I’ll never mention it again. I swear it.”

You kissed him, pressing your lips into his chastely but firmly, enjoying the heat and the smoothness of his skin, the smell and the feel of his beard, coated in tobacco smoke and his own sweat. The comforting spice of the chili lingering on his mouth. He breathed in like you’d pressed a hot iron brand into him, blissful pain radiating through his body, pulling you in close to his chest. He deepened the kiss, slanting his mouth against yours, moving your skull with his powerful jaws, leading you, commanding and strong in his desire.

“Love, don’t… don’t do this. Not unless you mean it. I’m bloody beggin’ you.”

You smiled, resting your nose alongside his, kissing him again slowly and carefully before answering him,

“I mean it, John. I mean it.”

Reblogs and comments deeply appreciated! <3 <3

AO3 Link

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daniigh0ul · 5 months ago

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simblr story recommendations pt 1/?

hi i have been reading a ton of stories in this community for the past several months and i thought it'd be fun to recommend some of them to you all! these are sorted by genre with a small blurb for each! i also included if the story is still being updated or if it's a finished story! :) i didn't include content warnings because most, if not all, have warnings listed on their pages, ty! this post is long but i didnt want to put anything under a read more cut so !!

fantasy/supernatural

@madebysimblr the princess and me status: complete

cordy steele is in college and not taking it very seriously when raina comes into her life. while they may not get along at first, it is a pleasure and a joy to watch their friendship form and grow with them. this story made cordy my favorite from coffee's SIMnematic universe, and i hope she will become yours, too. :D

crime/mafia

@earthmoonz wifey status: ongoing do you want to read about a queer relationship forming while both deal with their grief with the backdrop of crime in london??? then read this!! it is so cinematic and well-done!!! i am rooting for max and lena til the end

royalty, baby

@nexility-sims 1992 status: ongoing

follow leonor as she navigates grief in the public eye--this is a prequel/spin-off of n's main story, which is also very good, and reading both gives you extra context and i fully believe 1992 is worth the read for the cinematic nature of it as well as the wonderful prose. if you support women's wrongs, i highly recommend you read this.

@armoricaroyalty the house of st. fleur status: ongoing

do you want to watch a family push each other's buttons while navigating royal life? do you want to support women's wrongs and become apart of the Worst Man's hate club? then this story is for you!

@bridgeportbritt simdonia status: ongoing

follow along as bria wu marries into royalty life and all of the ins-and-outs of that new life as she navigates her family life, her relationship with her new husband, and as her kids grow up and navigate their own relationships and lives. the drama is so good and it's such a blast to read!

slice of life/legacy

@lynzishell star sign legacy status: ongoing the story starts with phoenix as a teenager, and follows him into his adulthood--we follow along as he navigates love, loss, anger issues, and a little bit of trauma go a long way, but what i really love is how the relationships form over time, whether they be romantic or platonic and now i am too invested in phoenix and the people in his life!! and i hope you will be, too! @elderwisp tessellate status: ongoing this ensemble cast are navigating their twenties and their relationships, but secrets and tensions lie underneath--will anyone get what they want? girl i don't know but it's fun to watch everything unfold and it's beautifully edited so 10/10 do recommend @honeyjars-sims safe harbor status: ongoing do you want to follow along as three siblings navigate their young adult years while dealing with trauma and the complicated experience that is navigating your early adulthood? then read this !! there are drag queens, a nightmare, and love--romantic and familial and platonic--and i guarantee you will become invested in these's characters' lives. @hannahssimblr lucky girl status: complete

evie is probably the most relatable girl you'll ever read about. she's insecure, she's in love with a boy, some of her friends suck, others don't. as we follow her through her young adult years, we watch her navigate her love of a boy, her naivety and later, her wisdom, as she grows up. and will she get the boy in the end?? you'll have to read it to find out !! @sirianasims the duchelli legacy status: ongoing i think my favorite part of siri's storytelling is reading about her sims navigate their family relationships--usually in the form of a parent getting their act together for their kid(s)!! but there's also space travel, romance, friendships, and general chaos and it's such a fun read so i highly recommend it!!

#i thought thered be more supernatural since thats literally my genre but :D #when i read enough stories again i'll do another part #this is a long post but theres only 10 stories here lol #simblr story recs #dividers by cafekitsune

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tekumaniac311 · 3 months ago

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Open Arms: Mission part 1

The Critters ship was en route to the dead planet where the Bloodline factory was, inside Dogday and Catnap was speaking to Drago via hologram, detailing what was going on.

"Our ship will rendezvous in on hour outside the planet's atmosphere, from there we'll head down their via our cycles. We go in, find Dogbite and get the hell out." Dogday explained to Drago. Just then, FixFox popped into the hologram next to Drago "I got something for a bonus." Dogday looked at her with a raised brow "It's a rescue mission, Fox."

"I know, I know." FixFox said "But Poppy told us that we can also blow up this factory, it can put a major dent in the Cult's plan. I may have just the thing." FixFox left the hologram before returning with a strange device "It's a small but powerful bomb, we attach a few of these at key points around the factory and bang!"

Dogday nodded "Okay, but no one is blowing anything up til we are all out safe with Dogbite. Clear?" Drago and FixFox nodded "Captain, we're not far from the dead planet!" Picky called out. "We'll see you there." Dogday said to Drago as he ended the call.

"Hey, Captain. You think the Seraphim will be there?" Hoppy asked "I don't know, but frankly I don't really care. I just need to rescue my brother, not fight." Dogday explained. Soon after, both ships arrived outside the orbit of the dead planet, each team member donned their helmets and got on their cycles ready to fly down.

"Remember the plan, we go in, keep the Bloodlines busy, set the bombs while I find my brother, once i've got him we get away as far as possible, then FixFox will hit the detonator." Everyone all responded with "Right!"

"Let's do this. Hang on, little brother..." Dogday said as he guided the cycles down to the planets surface. They landed and looked at the distant factory. "Can I just stay in the ship..?" Lean Lemur asked, not wanting to go in. "It's all hands on deck, honey. Just stick with me, okay?" Mama Mammoth told him. "Let's do this!" Hoppy said with confidence "We got this, Dogbite's gonna be okay." Leopardaisy added.

With that the 15 Riders headed off towards the factory, but as they did they heard a cycle land behind them, turning they saw Z as he fabricated a rifle via his wrist. "Z?" Dogday asked. "Yeah, I heard what's going down via Poppy. I'll help you save that punk." Z spoke

That last word triggered something in Dogday "Hey! He's my brother, it's my fault he's been misguided and acting like this." Z just shook his head "I tried to stop him, captain. But he wouldn't f###in listen and got himself into this mess." Dogday got even more furious "He has just been mislead, Z! And I'm going to help him back on the right path!"

Before the two could argue, Catnap walked in between the two "Let's not act like children, alright?" Dogday and Z then looked at eachother "Sorry, I.." They both said in unison "Come on, let's go save Dogbite." Prettybird spoke. They headed off and stealthily approached the outside perimeter of the factory.

Picky using some binoculars looked out and saw a ship taking off, FixFox recognized the ship "That's the Seraphim's personal ship.." Berserkerine crossed his arms, disappointed "Man, I was gonna crack her head for what she did to Dogbite." Dogday instead just shook his head. "With Seraphim gone our mission will be a lot easier, let's move in and place the explosives. Z, Drago and Catnap your with me. Crafty you and Bobby go with Berserkerine and FixFox. Bubba your with Lemur and Mama. Picky and Hoppy your both with Leopardaisy, let's move out!"

The groups head in and spread out as they began to plant FixFox's bombs in key points, electricity generators, the labs, the cloning facility and other vital places to the factory, all seemed well as they stayed hidden but meanwhile as Prettybird and Kickin were planting some themselves, a cultist spotted them "What the?! SPACE RIDERS!!" Rushing, the cultist hit the alarm which blared across the factory.

"Alright, let's have some fun" Hoppy said in battle stance." Dogday alerted everybody "Alright, everyone! The cult's spotted us, they'll be throwing everything they got at us, we'll find Dogbite as quickly as we can!" Soon everyone prepared to attack the cultists, kicking each of their tails to kingdom come.

Meanwhile in one of the control rooms, the cult priest who was left in command of the factory was informed of the intruders and the damage they were causing "Release..release the Bloodlines, all of them!" He ordered "But..their not ready!" But the priest shook his head "Release them all, we must protect the factory."

Gulping, the cult pushed a button and a second siren blared as around the base, enclosures of both finished and unfinished Bloodline monsters.

"Folks, looks like we woke the neighbors." Leopardaisy said "Plan, cap?" Kickin asked "We hit them hard, me, Catnap, Drago and Z will find Dogbite while you keep these freaks busy."

Everyone responded with a "Right!" As the Bloodline monsters approached, it'll be difficult of course, but to save one of their one, they will take the risk.

TO BE CONTINUED

Space Riders AU belong to @onyxonline

#space riders au #smiling critters oc #poppy playtime #smiling critters #smiling critters au #space riders au oc #poppys playtime oc #dogday #bubba bubbaphant #craftycorn #kickinchicken #hoppy hopscotch #bobby bearhug #catnap #picky piggy

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whore-era · 2 years ago

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collage!ellie x reader hcs? <3

a/n: im gonna assume u meant college!ellie so HERE IT GOES just for you anon friend <3 sorry for how short it is kfkdkkd

tlou 2 university: college!ellie x reader headcanons <3 18+

i have a feeling ellie is either a biology major, engineering major, or a physics/astrophysics major (cuz our girl loooves space), meaning she's extremely intelligent and does very well in class!! she's always answering the professor's questions, taking notes, paying attention. when you struggle with any science/math related subjects, she's ALWAYS willing to tutor you. but, this doesn't mean she's just gonna give you the answers, she's gonna make sure you actually learn and study, even using any means possible — like having you strip off a piece of clothing every time you get an answer wrong and making it a fun time for the both of you.

when you have important projects/papers/quizzes/exams to do that day, she'll make sure to send an encouraging message. don't get me wrong, she always does, but on especially important days like these, she'll always make sure to send an extra special one <3 'good morning baby! you're gonna fucking KILL this chemistry exam babe! you worked your ass off and you're gonna do amazing and get the highest score ❤️ i love you my smart girl let me know what you get when you're done' 'ty els <3 i love you most babe ! i'm abt to start talk to u laterrrr 🏃🏻‍♀️'

ellie will always fulfill her girlfriend duties and walk you to and pick you from classes! even tho she's always a tiny bit late because your class was all the way across campus from hers, but she wants to make sure you're protected and safe so she doesn't care either way! and she'll always carry your books for you, making sure you don't strain or 'hurt' yourself (her words not yours). "els, i have two, capable working arms!!" you whine, as she takes the textbook off your hands, "and so? what if you get a muscle spasm? or you sprain your hand?" she retorts, "by a two pound book?" ellie shrugs, "the possibility is never zero, babe."

when ellie has a project or an essay to work on, it'll be a little difficult to reach her as she gets in the zone when she's working. you'll probably send her some texts throughout the day to check in on her, but as the day progresses you'll find yourself worrying and thinking about stopping by her dorm with dinner because you already know she hadn't ate all day from being cooped up in her room typing away:

you - 9:30 am: els! just got out of class!! gnna go get some lunch w jesse :) hope ur doin okay <3

you - 11:45 am: miss u babe hope ur work is coming along great !!!

you - 2:21 pm: havent heard from u......kinda worried....hope u have been eating n staying hydrated missy >:(

you - 5:56 pm: ok i'm On my way! to ur dorm rn w/ dinner i already know u haven't ate yet n ur gonna feel my wrath

you - 5:56 pm: ignore that extremely enthusiastic On my way! it autocorrected im still mad at u

hearing the booming pounding on her door, ellie takes off her earbuds and walks to the door, opening it. to her surprise, you're standing there, take-out in hand, and a grumpy expression gracing your face. "do you know what time it is? have you even ate yet, ellie williams-miller?" ellie grimaces at the sound of her full, government name leaving your lips. "i'm so sorry, babe. i was working all day, i didn't even realize how much time had passed 'til you showed up," ellie mutters, her stomach grumbling on cue. you hand her the take-out from her favorite spot on campus, and she graciously takes it from your hands. "you better be thankful you have a very caring and worrisome girlfriend, els," you say, "i really missed you today." a smile curls on ellie's lips, "i know, baby. here, let me take a little break from my paper, and i'll make it up to you, yeah?"

and that night, ellie was extremely thankful she worked on most of her paper, as she completely disregarded anymore work as she decided she'd rather fulfill her appetite by eating you out instead. leaving her take-out cold and untouched. but hey, she held her part of the deal and indeed made it up to you.

that was also how 5 papers ended up taped up against her dorm-room door, complaining of the 'fucking loud ass moans' the morning after.

"how'd they even know it was us?" ellie queries, reading over the complaints. "oh wait, it says here 'please tell your girlfriend to keep it down. she was screaming your name all night. thank you for reminding us who lives in dorm 114.'" needless to say, you were red as a tomato and it gutted you to leave her dorm, feeling everyone's eyes on you as you walked down the hall.

let me know if yall would like more college!ellie hcs!! <3

#ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie williams tlou #the last of us #the last of us ellie #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #tlou #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams fluff #ellie x reader hc #college!ellie williams

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missmarveledsblog · 1 month ago

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Hand on Heart ( jake seresin x singlemom! reader )

CHAPTER TWO

Summary: the first week come and goes as she meets more members of the dagger squad except of the mystery hangman til she and belle are invited showing the blonde that she wasnt just a mom and the blonde starts rethinking his no moms policy

warning : fluffy fluff

previous chapter

The week was standard enough belle went to daycare each day was longer than the one before which meant y/n got more and more of the house unpacked and even invited nat over for lunch a couple of times , well she invited the others but the woman said they couldn’t make it leaving out the part she threatened them not to come over . then she also met them again at same fast food place this time it was two new faces she learned was coyote and payback apparently the elusive hangman was on a date one of many from what she gathered he sound like a bit of a playboy of sorts . then saturday she and belle was invited to the beach with the gang . now she was spending the morning baking away because well her grandmother taught her better than to show up empty handed . nat did tell her guys played some weird kind of football but she was happy to sit with nat and belle to sandcastle or play in the water.

The dagger squad where setting up their things while nat and rooster laying down some bucket and stuff as well as beach umbrella into the sand completely perplexing jake seresin who was checking out the beach babe beauties .

“ what are y’all doing?” .

“ setting up space for belle so it not too hot obviously “ rooster rolled his eyes.

“ oh so mommy and me is coming today?” he teased .

“ hey she actually cool chick , she gave me tips on how to fix my car “ javy smiled .

“ well i’m sure shes a peach but moms are messy “ he shrugged.

“ actually not too messy we carry wet wipe all time but thanks for the observation cowboy” the voice called as he turned .

“ ignore him, hey look we set up a belle patch … we kinda went overboard “ nat wince looking around at the toys on the ground .

“ wow you did but y’all didn’t have to, thank you , i brought cookies and cupcakes “ she held the bag up .

“ you must be bagman “ she turned to the blonde .

“ it’s Hangman or Jake and you must be the mom i’ve been hearing about ?” he smiled, maybe the mom thing wasn’t too bag after all .

“ Well cowboy don’t worry about this mom you're not my type so you're safe “ she shook his hand before seeing belle already running towards rooster excitedly falling in the sand a couple of times before changing her mind and going to nat instead much to the man's disappointment.

“ told you she’s too smart for you guys seems like so is belle “ nat cheered and she twirled with the toddler in her arms .

“ I didn't mean offense by the way ?” Jake called.

“ none taken seriously don’t worry about it i ain’t gonna cry because a life size ken doll doesn’t like me that way, i ain’t looking for love either “ she snorted as the others laughed. “ now that out of the way would ya like a cookie or a cupcake “ she opened the boxes already knowing which one belle was after handing her a cupcake as she sat near rooster who chose the same as well as a cookie.

“ shit these are so good “ fanboy groaned .

“ language around the baby” rooster hissed as he covered her ears .

“ i’m glad you like em , my grandmother would roll in her grave if she knew i showed up empty handed “ she chuckled taking her own out sitting on towel . “ so y’all playing football thing ?” she asked .

“ yeah if you wanna play i can sit here with belle “ rooster offered only for jake to snort .

“ i think i might “ she narrowed her eyes at the blonde . “ how do you play “ she whispered to nat .

“ you sure you wanna do this , i mean it not some pta thing or playing with blocks ” jake teased.

“ i grew up with boy cousins and two brothers who didn’t see gender roles in their rough play ,i can take you on anytime cowboy ken” she crouched . “ plus ain’t size of dog it the fight of it “ she winked as Mav blew the whistle just as fanboy threw her the ball jake barrelled towards her she was veering to the left watching him easily already heading that way before skimming the blonde and hitting right to throw the ball to payback who then score just as jake hit the sand . “ need a wet wipe “she chuckled holding her hand out for him to take .

“ lucky first shot is all “ he took her hand going to pull her down with him but she pulled her hand back making him fall back again .

“Oldest trick in the book tic tac toe“ she stuck her tongue out as jake laughed.

“ ok come on we get her this time “ was probably javy’s favorite sentence of the game til she with help of payback and fanboy scored the winning goal . before she heading over to nat who looked happy with the sleeping toddler on her chest . as she took her her shorts and tshirt off to lay on the sand an let the heat hit her skin as well as the fact her clothes where drench in sweat from the game what she didn’t see was the guys reaction to the show and had jake really rethinking his whole deal on single moms . while two sit on sand talking away while guys played couple of games .

“ we’re heading hard deck soon for lunch , penny got some juice and things for little miss there when your ready join us “ Mav smiled .

“ oh thank you isn’t the hard deck a bar though ?” she asked sort of wide eye .

“ we have lunch the weekends before she opens “ nat reassured her .

“ ok well i better take her off of you get her into her carseat” she went to grab her only for nat to stand belle still sleeping soundly .

“ it’s a two minute walk from here literally across the car park “ she walked ahead.

“ ok i’ll just grab a clean shirt out of my car “ she snorted as the guys helped her pack up her stuff .

“ amelia will probably offer her babysitting services just to warn you and penny’s been dying to meet belle” Mav smiled carrying her bag to the guys disappointment .

“ y’all are very welcoming out here “ her eyes watching rooster talking to a now confused and dazed belle slight reminding her of her brothers in away making her miss them .

“ so you said you have brothers?” Mav asked.

“ two big ones , both in navy funny enough , one is stationed in texas and another is deployed “ she smiled softly .

“ are you guys close ?” he asked .

“ very i mean we had other family but it was mainly three of us with our grandparents then my grandfather passed away when i was 13 so our grandma raise us “ she smiled sadly.

“ your parents ?” mav asked.

“ Well not really parents got their own things going on i guess but we didn’t miss out on anything our grandma was a saint , sometimes slightly scary woman “ she chuckled.

“ sorry that was probably over the line asking “ he winced .

“ nah it’s ok i ain’t shamed of my upbringing actually proud of it , we would of been deemed lost causes to rest of the world but showed them different “ she smiled brightly.

“ well i’d say their proud of you now , your brothers i mean “ .

“ oh they are i mean they are both trying to get stationed here, benny is more so he’s the oldest and kai is the middle who is deployed somewhere in the pacific and then i’m baby who is adorable and sweet as a peach “ she joked .

“ hey peach suits you think we found your callsign kiddo “ mav chuckled ruffling her hair .

“ who got call sign?” bob asked .

“ peach here , sweet as a peach “ mav nudged her.

“ i regret bringing that up “ she grimaced.

“ well get over it apple “ jake smirked.

“ will do hopscotch “ she ran up to see belles lip wobble .

Walking into the hard deck she was little nervous meeting more people but the moment she seen Penny Benjamin's warm smile those nerves melted away . She was eager to win Belle over seemed as though they all did during the lunch even jake decided to get in on it ultimately him and nat were favorites for awhile til she got upset and started calling for “roo” . honestly she thought the man was going to cry with the excitement . she even got in a few games of pool to which jake got his comeback and beat her at . the guys also agreed to come over help with the last few things she needed to do in the house and Amelia indeed offered her babysitting services.

She was barely even awake when she heard the knocking on her door soft glow of the morning sun coming through the window she checked to see belle still undisturbed on the monitor . she barely had time to wipe the sleep out of her eyes when she padded her way down the hall . stretching as she pulled open the door to see the dagger squad standing on her porch bright eyed .

“Are y’all ok it like … what time is it “ she groaned leaving the door open for them to come in and follow.

“ it’s ten wait shit i though babies wake early so figured you’d be awake “ rooster winced.

“ nah she still asleep really tuckered her out yesterday i’ll guess i’ll get breakfast started and coffee “ she stretched out .

“ is the kiwi not a morning person ?” jake called she didn’t need to even look at the man to know he was smug and smiling at her.

“ nah monopoly i ain’t , now who wants pancakes” she turn as a show of hands raised up only for her to hear a cry coming down the hall . “ let me get princess belle and i’ll get breakfast started “ she yawned more before heading down the hall only this time one pair of eyes where following her.

“ next time we don’t listen to rooster … the baby expert “ nat rolled her eyes following down to apologize .

“ this place is cool , she was telling me she'd been fixing it up while belle was in daycare and nat been saying same she even helped her paint and stuff “ bob told them all as they stood waiting .

“ what she need our help for ?” jake asked looking around bob was right she made the little space like home such a short of time it was cozy he could see himself relaxing after hard day .

“ she doesn’t but we offered to help our new co worker and friend out “ rooster shrugged .

“ also helping the hot mom out works too “ payback whispered just as sound of little feet came running down the halls stopping looking up at the men staring down .

“ jake “ she squealed holding her little arms out to the man .

“ hey little lady love the crazy do this morning “ he chuckled lifting her up , her hair out like a birds nest as her little hands rubbed her eyes .

“ like her moms it would seem “ rooster snort and y/n was currently fixing her hair back up on top of her head and out of her face.

“ you still look beautiful though” bob smiled shyly.

“ for that you get extras “ she patted the WSO’s cheeks as he stood a little taller. All following into the kitchen as nat moved around easily being the only one of the group who was actually ever in the space. She began pulling it all out as jakes eyes widen as excitement took over the man seeing the stuff his home state sitting right on the counter .

“ shit where you get that i haven’t found any of that stuff here” he smiled .

“ i brought a lot kinda scared i wouldn’t find it here my brother said he’s gonna bring more up when he visit i’ll ask him bring extra for you but i don’t know when that will be “ her back turned cutting up some fruit as nat was making everyone coffee . moving around the large men around the kitchen sitting the little plate on counter grabbing the bottle of milk nat handed her . “ thank you gorgeous lady “ she winked taking belle out of the blondes arms before placing her in her highchair handing her the bottle and plate .

“ i’ll watch her while your doing that “ rooster offered .

“ thank you chicken” she cooed making him blush .

“ you don’t do that when hangman calls you chicken “ fanboy whispered.

“ she’s prettier and has better accent than hangman , hers doesn’t sound condescending either” he shrugged.

All eyes watching like they’d never seen how a breakfast was made such fascination while she was talking about how excited she was to finally start working with them all . it was strange how close she already felt with the group after a short amount of time . she was already picking up mannerisms of each individual , each persona of each member of the dagger squad.

“ thank you peach “ each member called as she place their plate in front of them bar jake who said “ thank you banna “

“ you know your gonna run out of fruit bop it “ she chuckled .

“ your gonna run out of games “ he shoot back taking a forkful of food nearly falling in his seat shit he was really start to rethink his policy on single moms now .

next chapter

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princessbrunette · 1 year ago

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kinktober : oct 31st (happy halloween!)

modern!anakin x aftercare

wow, finally at the end! here’s some much needed aftercare after a month of filthy smut. if you’re a new follower who has joined me along my kinktober journey, hi! i’m so happy you’re here and i hope you stay! if you’ve been with me from the start, i appreciate you sm. i see all your requests and i can’t wait to get to them. 🎀

it always takes you a while to come back to yourself after anakin fucks you.

it’s a combination of things, the exhaustion — considering he’ll never allow you to only cum once, and will often drag it out for as long as he can. the physical exertion on your body from the different positions you’d be held in would cause you to completely black out for a while, finally able to rest your head on the pillow whilst you catch your breath, thighs violently trembling. of course, a huge defining factor of why you would drift from reality for a moment would be due to how deep in subspace ani would have you. he’s so naturally dominant as it is, so when you fuck — best believe by the end you’ll feel reduced down to a being that purely exists to receive his praise, or please him, or whatever it is that day.

you always hear him before you feel him, it’s the procedure.

“baby.” he cooes quietly, still a little breathless himself. “you did well, sweetheart. my best girl, did so good for me.. gonna hold you now, that okay?” his voice is familiar, deep, comforting — but you’re still drifting through space. you don’t know how, but you manage a nod. you always do, you can’t bare to be apart from him any longer. after sex, you’re usually at your most clingy — needing him to ground you and cater to you until you’re back to yourself again.

“theeere we go.” he scoops you into his arms, pulling your cheek to his chest. he’s clammy, and so are you — but you can hear his heart thrumming against your ear and it just helps. he’s here. you’re here. it’s all okay.

“how was that, baby? any pain? don’t have to talk, can show me if you like.” anakin rasps, peeling himself back ever so slightly. you whine urgently, worried he’s pulling away from you fully and his gaze snaps towards you, keeping a firm but gentle hand on your back. “hey? you’re alright? i’m not going anywhere, my love. just need to see you, that’s all.” he comforts, the hand on your back now rubbing in a circle.

“don’t go.” a small voice leaves you, half muffled in his chest, your fingers digging into his thick tattooed bicep and you feel him nod.

“m’not. not going anywhere til you want me to. i’m gonna ask you my questions though, that okay?” he thumbs at the back of your neck, trying his best to make you feel cradled in his clutch. you nod, permitting him.

“okay sweet girl. are you hurting anywhere?” he repeats. it always astounds you how he manages to keep his voice so calm and… in charge. you’re not making any effort to claw your way out of your submissive mindset, infact if anything you’re sinking further into that hole but that was okay. it was warm and safe there, and sometimes you needed to cling on just a little longer.

“no. you were soft.” you speak and he kisses the top of your head in silent praise for speaking.

“yeah, i was nice on you today, hm?” he hums, pulling you impossibly closer. “are you gonna let me clean you up? or do you wanna cuddle?” he tilts his head, attempting to look at you. you lean upwards, wrapping your arms around his neck. “i’ll take that as cuddle.” he huffs out a laugh at your little groan into his neck, probably leaking your shared finish out of you and onto him.

“mhm.”

“mmmhm.” he repeats, adjusting to be more comfortable until you’re fully on top of him. “there she is. did a number on you today huh?” he rests a hand behind his head, looking down at you. you don’t respond, and he doesn’t expect you to— he’ll be there to hold you as long as you need.

#modern!anakin drabble #modern!anakin fluff #modern!anakin #anakin skywalker au #kinktober 2023

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squishyneet · 7 months ago

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·˚ ༘₊· SACRED NEMESES ꒰➳ LOOKISM ༊*·˚

tw: pure angst (and whatever Gitae got goin on), implied sexual assault, groping, brief description of blood, description of dissociation, malnutrition, also huge spoiler warning

I've been callin' ya

Ryohei knocked for the seventh time that day, slumped against Mitsuki's door, anxiously hoping she might finally come out. "Mitsuki, dear . . . you have to . . . have to eat something," he managed, somewhat deprived of energy himself as a result of his resolution to monitor her. "I'll help you . . . if you can't do it by yourself . . ." Ryohei's eyes fluttered shut as he passed out safely against Mitsuki's door, unaware of the tears hitting the floor on the other side.

But you won't pick up

"Don't worry, Gyeoul. I will protect you no matter what." Gyeoul stared flatly at Hangyeoul, his dear pathetic and dutiful brother, and wondered he could possibly be thinking. Did he really believe such a feat was achievable? His weak brother who succumbed to coercion, who never once fought for himself was supposedly going to protect him? "I told you to stop saying things like that."

'Nother fortnight lost in America

"That James Lee is merely a dog I keep on a leash. He does his master's bidding," Charles Choi grimly remarked to Gun, clearly disturbed by the mere thought of the man. James listened mindlessly from outside the room, staring and spacing out. "His strength and history don't matter anymore as long as I have him under my heel." James foggily recalled his dear memories of fighting the Kings, people he may have called friends if not for his current situation. He kind of missed that Jichang.

Move to Florida!!!

Thick and syrupy blood still dripped from the walls of Kenta's house when walked to his room to pack his things to move to Seoul. He silently and mechanically folded his clothes, took a tooth brush, and drank some water. Metallic taste lingering deep in his throat, he made his way to the airport feeling, despite only carrying one loosely filled backpack, heavier than ever. He wondered about Seoul, partially worried about how he won't fit in and partially because thinking about his hometown made his stomach churn inside out.

Buy the car you want

Fatigue had ploddingly taken Eugene in his office. Cheeks hollow and eyes going blurry, he impatiently stuck a blank flash drive into his laptop to copy the footage of Gyeoul's kidnapping. He rested his face on his hand and sluggishly gazed at the sun going down, faintly hoping this might finally be enough to make the case against Charles Choi. The chairman of Workers fell asleep in a Rolls-Royce on a dreamy car ride home to the thought of his nemesis, slackly covered in a blanket stored for him.

But it won't start up til you touch, touch, touch me

Jinyoung browsed through his old notebooks, full of information regarding his beloved drugs, ingredients, their combinations, and the like. Messy notes and revisions scribbled in margins and the occasional doodle made by Gapryong or Lightning. He steadily reviewed them as he always had when he got an idea for a new drug. He leisurely recalls a time when he could go out with his friends, study anywhere he pleased, and feel the sunlight on his skin. Now, he is pale with sinking eyes and a blindness to the smell of rubbing alcohol in his lab as he mourns his youth sanctified in faded pages.

I've been callin' ya

"You're leaving?" Daniel murmured, confused. Eli stopped idly in his tracks, hands in pockets, unresponsive. "Is it because you can't afford to go to school anymore?" Daniel lamented quietly, looking away. " . . . I have a family to take care of, Daniel," Eli stated simply. "Please don't worry about me." "Well, if you need help . . ." Daniel began but Eli had already proceeded through the main exit to the courtyard, and his half-hearted offer fell on unwilling ears.

But you won't pick up

"I've already drank with somebody else," Gun expressed calmly. Is this Stockholm syndrome? Goo's chest hurt. He was right. There was no such thing as making friends in Korea and everyone was just as superficial as they seemed. He drank by himself, distracting his mind by pondering how much of his things to take when he moves out of that damn cage of a house. At least he wouldn't have to worry about being groped while cooking anymore. That kinda hurt.

'Nother fortnight lost in America

'Thing were more peaceful with him around.' 'The Kings came so close.' Jichang heard these never ending observations bounce around in his head as he filled his car with the last of his belongings. His brothers were already made comfortable at their new home. Jaw clenched and seething, he mentally bids goodbye and sets off from Seoul for the last time into the blazing sunlight and hot winds of Chungcheong, determined not to lose his new kingdom before he had even claimed it.

Move to Florida!!!

'I'm going back to Mexico.' Gitae tucked his phone into his back pocket, blowing smoke through barely parted lips outside the airport. He shivered and exhaled heavily, eager to leave and to smoke one last cigarette before his flight. The idea that he ever resembled his father made his blood boil and he's glad the rat bastard is dead. He sharply put out the cigarette in the allotted tray, making a mental note to work on his Spanish and to buy a new axe when he arrived. The sight of his hometown made his head spin.

Buy the car you want

Na Jaegyeon writhed weakly against a wall as he felt lips brush his ear. "Do you taste good too, little boy?" Flustered, he held his breath and tried to avoid eye contact. He had the misfortune of visiting Seoul at precisely the wrong time and was approached in an alley by Gitae Kim, against whom he certainly did not stand a chance. "Or should I bring you to Mexico with me? They'll like you over there," Gitae whispered, low and arousing. Jaegyeon shuddered when he felt strong hands snaking around his waist and a warm mouth start to probe his neck. He never should have gotten in the car.

But it won't start up til I touch, touch, touch you

Taesoo was visiting of his own accord. Seongji's grave was silent, clean, and furnished with a multitude of flowers. He dearly missed the time when he could entertain the thought of the Kings acting like family, argumentative as some of them were. He missed the time when peace truly seemed like an option for Korea, fragmented as it was. And he missed Seongji, close as he seemed before his eyes.

Lyrics from 'Fortnight', Taylor Swift, The Tortured Poets Department

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frvnkcastles · 4 months ago

Note

I feel shithouse for asking since I'm not a girlie, bur I was! Trans guy here but honestly a trauma ex girlie!

Can I request something with a reader (doesn't matter the pronouns if you feel more comfy writing she/her that's chill!) Where the reader is asked to come to Christmas with their family, and frank is a plus one bur you're worried as your family are alcoholics (starting drinking at like 10 til late) and the reader is trying to cut down but their family is really pushy and feels like they're gonna fall back into bad patterns and Frank pulls them away for an hour just talking and smoking a cigarette as the readers the only dart smoker in the family as they've all transitioned to vaping?

(Maybe just mother, brother, sister in law and reader +frank, and possibly the radio keeps turning on and off and the family calling out readers grandparents in the afterlife as the cause v much jokingly?)

YOU’RE THE ONLY PLACE THAT FEELS LIKE HOME ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: When you have to deal with your alcoholic family, Frank is there to support you.

Warnings: Alcoholism, implied past abuse, mention of deceased grandparents, reader smokes, language, gender neutral reader

Word count: 1.7k

Author’s note: Anon, don’t feel bad at all!! This is a safe space for everyone no matter what and you’re 100% welcome here. I do wish more of my fics were gender neutral but often my ideas come from my own experiences as a mentally ill/traumatized woman and when I get requests, they usually mention she/her pronouns. That said, while I don’t really know how to write from the perspective of a man, I have no problem writing a gender neutral reader if it’s specified. Also, I am very sorry you had to wait such a long time for this, I hope you like it!! Sending you lots of love <3

When your family invited you to spend the holidays with them, you instinctively knew you were in for an uncomfortable time. Since you had moved out, you had tried to keep your distance and unlearn the bad habits that you had developed at home — like drinking. That was your first and foremost concern, having to witness their drunken behavior and how the situation would most likely escalate sooner or later, as it always did. You had done a great job of cutting down but you feared that being back in their company would force you to undo all your progress.

The one good thing about the whole thing was that they didn’t protest you bringing Frank along. He made most shitty situations better just by being present, and you instantly felt heard and comforted when he agreed to come with you. Frankly, he was opposed to the mere thought of letting you go alone, knowing all about your complicated family history and therefore determined to support you through every encounter.

”Y’know you’re allowed to decline, yeah? Don’t wanna see you puttin’ yourself through shit just ’cause they’re askin’”, he reminded as you were getting ready to leave for your mother’s house. Pulling on his jacket, he eyed you, looking for any hint of hesitation on your face, but you were doing a good job at putting up a brave front. You wanted to keep the peace, and admittedly, a little bit of you missed your family and ached to spend time with them, even if you knew it probably wouldn’t end well.

”Thanks, Frankie. It’s okay, I want to go. Just… need you by my side”, you sighed, and nodding, Frank stepped over to you to press a kiss on your temple, brief but full of emotion.

”You got me, darlin’. I ain’t goin’ anywhere”, he assured before taking your hand and steering you out the door.

He encouraged you to take deep breaths during the drive over, noticing with ease how anxiety was starting to manifest in your bouncing leg and chewed bottom lip. You tried to take Frank’s advice and keep yourself calm, but as soon as you arrived at the house, you came to the conclusion the night was already becoming more intense than you had anticipated.

There was a haze of drunken stupor in the air and loud chatter filled every room, tipping almost over to downright shouting. Bottles and cans littered the tables and the realization that everyone was already drunk unsettled you, making you swallow hard as you reached for Frank’s hand. He squeezed tight, unwavering as he stood next to you.

”Finally! Took you long enough”, your brother noticed you standing by the door, and he rushed to you, shoving a bottle of beer into your hands. You shook your head and handed it back over to him, which earned a scoff from me. ”What, you too good for us now?” he mocked, but he didn’t linger to hear your response, just stomped back to the dining room where your mother was setting up dinner.

You glanced at Frank, and he directed an affirming nod at you, giving you the strength and will to walk to the dining table with him right behind you. You exchanged greetings with your mother who was clearly tipsy at the very least, and your attempts to make conversation went unheard and unnoticed. You supposed it was a good thing — they weren’t actively picking fights with you, at least.

Frank, ever the gentleman, helped bring in all the food and the plates, with the same goal as you: keeping the peace. He wasn’t interested in befriending your family because of all the trauma they had bestowed upon you, but for your sake, he remained cordial and polite. That said, he was ready to defend you at the smallest thing.

As everyone sat down for dinner, your mother poured you a glass of liquour and you instantly felt opposed to the idea. ”Oh, I don’t really drink anymore”, you tried, and in an instant, your mother and brother exchanged looks that were judgmental as well as surprised.

”One drink won’t kill you”, your mother insisted, continuing to pour until the glass was filled to the brim. You licked your lips nervously, but unwilling to start a full-blown argument by refusing, you reached for the glass.

Frank stopped you, however. ”They don’t gotta drink anythin’ they don’t wanna”, he spoke firmly, his tone stern enough to warn everyone not to start with him. You smiled softly at him and he squeezed your thigh in response, keeping you close to him in the hopes that his warmth would ground you in the otherwise anxiety-inducing environment.

Your mother opened her mouth to retort something, but she was cut off by the radio crackling, quickly redirecting her attention. ”Must be your grandparents again”, she commented with a laugh, one you didn’t return. You shuffled uncomfortably in your seat and Frank gave your arm a comforting caress, his eyes darting between you and your family. He hated seeing you in these situations that only distressed you, and he wished there was more he could have done to help.

But he tried by gaining control of the conversation. It was a gesture you appreciated greatly, especially because you knew he was most definitely not the kind of man who participated in small-talk. He was used to sitting back and observing, but right now, you didn’t have the capacity to keep chatting and he didn’t mind taking the reins on your behalf. He kept your mother busy so that she wouldn’t have the chance to push you to drink, but your brother still jumped at the opportunity.

”You’re really not gonna drink that? God, you really have changed. Can’t even have a drink with your family anymore”, he rolled his eyes, trying his very best to guilt you into having a sip, and it almost worked. You were moments away from cracking under the pressure, but once again, Frank came to your rescue.

”We’re, uh, we’re gon’ get some fresh air. Excuse us”, Frank informed curtly, his words respectful but his tone cold, just like the look in his eyes. He wasn’t going to let you sit there as the target of their complaints anymore, and so, he helped you up from the seat and guided you outside into the refreshing air.

You exhaled heavily as you dug out a cigarette with shaky hands, and Frank ran his hand across his face in frustration. He was seething, feeling so much anger towards your family for being so pushy with you, and he was desperate to just carry you in the car and take you home right now.

”We ain’t gotta stay, baby. The way they treat you… makes me real upset for you. Just say the word and I’ll take you home, got that?” he swore, his eyes piercing yours as you inhaled the cigarette. You pondered on his offer, and you couldn’t deny that it sounded tempting — it wasn’t a good time so far, and you doubted it was getting any better with all the alcohol they were consuming nonstop.

”Yeah, I don’t really want to stay for long. Let’s just get through dinner and then we’ll go?” you suggested, and sucking in a breath, Frank bowed his head in an agreeing nod.

”Whatever you wanna do. But I ain’t lettin’ you drink when you’ve done so well without any”, he decided with a point of his finger, and with an appreciative smile curling your lips, you reached for his forearm and squeezed.

”Thank you, Frankie. This would suck a lot more without you”, you noted, and with a quiet chuckle, Frank shrugged.

”Yeah, well, I’d need a damn good reason not to be here for you. I don’t want you to deal with all this all by yourself, y’know?” he explained, stepping closer to you and winding an arm over your shoulders. He pulled you closer, and while making sure you wouldn’t get ash on him, you leaned into him and enjoyed the feeling of his firm body against yours.

”I know it sucks. It’s just… they’re my family. I’ve realized it’s not healthy for me to spend a lot of time with them but sometimes I miss them”, you admitted quietly, a little embarrassed to speak the truth, but Frank wouldn’t judge you.

He pressed a kiss into your hair, in fact. ”I hear ya. It ain’t easy to cut off the people you’ve grown up with. I’m proud of you, anyway. You’re doin’ so great, hear me?” he emphasized, wanting you to know that he admired your strength. You were the most amazing person he knew and he would never let you forget that.

”You’re so sweet”, you muttered, shy under his praise and deep stare, and he reacted with a snort.

”That’s the first time anyone’s ever said that ’bout me, sweetheart”, he declared, and it made you laugh — even if you strongly felt like he should hear it all the time.

Sighing, you put out your cigarette. ”I guess we should head back inside”, you gave in, but with a tut, Frank pulled you back from the door.

”I mean, they ain’t exactly lookin’ for us yet. We’re in no hurry, yeah? We can take a moment, just you and me”, he proposed instead, and you didn’t take much convincing, especially with his dark eyes looking so soft and caring as they bore into yours. There was a small, hopeful smile on his lips, and that was enough to reel you in.

”I’d like that”, you agreed before leaning in to kiss his cheek. ”Thanks for everything, Frank. This really means a lot”, you added, and caressing your hair, he shook his head.

”Ya gotta stop thankin’ me, darlin’. I’m just doin’ what I can to help. And treatin’ you the way you deserve, aight?” he countered, serious about being good to you. And so far, he had been successful in every way.

It was going to be a long night, but you felt encouraged with Frank by your side, and you knew you had a way out if you just told him you wanted to go. It didn’t erase all your problems with your family, but it was safe to say you had found a new one in Frank.

#frank castle #frank castle fanfiction #frank castle x reader #the punisher #the punisher x reader

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imiwrites · 1 year ago

Text

Moon Song

Sirius Black x Fem!Reader

So I'll wait for the next time you want me

Like a dog with a bird at your door

Sypnosis: Sirius was the best boyfriend you could've asked for. Until he wasn't.

WC: 5.0k (it's a pretty long one but it's worth it i swear)

Warnings: ANGSTY, cheating, second chances, toxic relationships, use of Y/N,

A/N: i was listening to Phoebe Bridgers then this idea struck. Orginally inspired by Georgia and then I realised it was more Moon Song vibes. Enjoyyy.

masterlist

Sirius Black is the best boyfriend you could ever ask for. Handsome, chivalrous, funny. The list was endless. You couldn’t even name a single bad trait he had.

You love him, of course. Endlessly. More than words could describe.

I’m going to marry this man, was a thought that was constantly in your mind, bringing a grin to your face every time.

It pops in your head when he holds your hand walking down the halls, or when he kisses you senseless, or when he hugs you so tight, that you truly believe your body has never felt safer.

So yes, it was safe to say that Sirius Black was the best boyfriend you could ask for.

»↠ ≈☆≈ ↞«

“Well good morning to you.” Sirius grins up at you, lying on the couch in the common room.

You had just woken up. You are not a morning person. You yawn, rubbing your eyes in an attempt to make you more alert.

“Mornin’.” You lazily smile back at him.

Sirius sat up on the couch, patting the space next to him. “Come sit, love.”

You smile at him gratefully, leaning your head against the solidness of his chest.

“Much better.” You say softly, smiling up at him.

Best boyfriend ever.

“I’m going out tonight. With James. Ravenclaw’s throwing a party. I know they aren’t really your thing, but you know I would love it if you wanted to come with me.” Sirius whispers into your hair.

You hum, giving it thought.

“You’re right. Not really my scene. But, as a compromise, I’ll wait up in the common room ‘til you come back.”

Sirius frowns at that.

“Don’t wanna keep you up, love. It’s fine if you just go to bed, y’know. I’m a big boy, I can take care of myself.” You laugh softly, the sensation tickling Sirius’ neck.

“I’m not waiting up because I don’t think you can take care of myself. I’m waiting up because I like seeing you. And, besides, you are really funny when you’re drunk.”

Sirius snorts, but nods his head in agreement.

“Alright, love. I’ll come back early for you, don’t worry.”

»↠ ≈☆≈ ↞«

“I love him,” you gush, resting your head in Lily’s lap, your eyes heavy.

She smiled lopsidedly at you, her fingers twisting through your hair, plaiting small braids in your hair.

“Really?” she says, a sarcastic tone to her voice, “You don’t say.” You lightly tap her arm, ignoring her mocking. “Haha. Very funny, Lils. Don’t tell me you don’t act the same with James.”

That gets a reaction out of her, making her pale cheeks a soft red.

“I’m just saying,” she shrugs, looking away in embarrassment, her hands continuing to braid your hair.

James had come back an hour earlier, and you’d stuck to your promise to Sirius that the pair of you had made earlier. Lily, being the fiercely loyal friend she is, insisted on waiting up with you.

The common room door opened, and you could hear Sirius voice, albeit slurred, echoing through the space.

Your face light up, and you immediately sat up from Lily’s lap, getting ready to see your boyfriend.

That was, until you heard another voice with him. A female voice.

Confused, you took a step forward, trying to determine who Sirius was with.

A girl. A girl, whose arm was wrapped around Sirius’ own. They were laughing, and she was getting really close to him, being insanely touchy with him. You could’ve sworn you heard the shatter of your heart, then and there.

“Sirius?” you whisper, eyes filling with tears.

He didn’t notice you properly at first, too occupied with the girl who was quite literally hanging off him. But when he saw you, he looked guilty.

Your perfect boyfriend, the one who saw every side of you, the one who could lighten your mood with just a smile, the one who could do no wrong.

Yet, here he was, with another girl.

“Y/N, I-” he starts. His words are thick, and you can smell the stench of firewhisky, despite the distance between you two.

“Save it.” you whisper, turning your back on him, hurriedly rushing up the stairs so he wouldn’t see the tears in you eyes.

“Lily, you know I would never do something like this. I-I swear.” Sirius spoke slowly, tentatively watching Lily.

“You should tell that to her, not me.” Lily spoke, harshly calm. “But it’s not looking good Sirius. You know that.”

And with that, she walked away, leaving Sirius Black stranded in the common room.

»↠ ≈☆≈ ↞«

The next morning was, unsurprisingly, met with a flurry of apologies from Sirius. Usually, your heart would melt at the sight of him begging for your forgiveness. Hell, you would’ve found it romantic if you weren’t thinking about what he was apologising for. But instead, you let Lily lead you away.

Your red nose and tired eyes did not escape Sirius’ view, and it made him feel terrible. He didn’t mean it, he knew he didn’t. You weren’t at the party, so, in typically Sirius nature, he went to the first girl that held an even slight resemblance to you. He wouldn’t have made a move on her, he had thought, but his recollection of the night was hazy.

He wouldn’t have made a move on her, would he? You were too important to him. He could never…

God, he fucked up big time.

»↠ ≈☆≈ ↞«

It seemed the universe knew about his fuck up, too. He couldn’t get you alone at all. He needed to see you. This past day had been pure torture for him, all he could think about was apologizing to you.

“She’ll come around, don’t worry, Padfoot,” James says, trying to comfort the boy.

“But what if she doesn’t, James! Don’t you get it? I fucked up. Majorly. God, I don’t think she’s gonna come around. She deserves so much more than someone who’d cheat on her the minute she’s not there.” He pauses, taking in a breath. “I was awful, Prongs. I don’t think she’s gonna come around.”

James looks at him sympathetically, but he was at a complete loss for words.

“Apologise to her, Sirius.” Remus speaks up softly, “If you think she deserves better, become the better she deserves. Y/N isn’t someone who would give up on love so easily. She may resent you for a while, but I’m sure, if you properly explain what happened, and give her a well-deserved apology, that she may be willing to start fresh.”

Sirius stops pacing, staring at Remus.

“Y’know, Moony, you might just be right! I fucked up one time, I’ve just gotta put it behind us and apologise. Then it should be alright again!”

For the first time that day, Sirius was grinning.

»↠ ≈☆≈ ↞«

You took a shaky breath, staring at yourself in the mirror. Your face wasn’t red anymore, though your eyes were still a bit swollen from the crying. You shook your head, looking away from the mirror, and moving towards your bed. Falling down gracelessly, you stuff your face in your pillow, letting out a silenced scream.

You aren’t sure how long you lie like that. It wasn’t until a knock on your door made you jump.

“Y/N, please. I-I know you don’t want to speak to me, and I know I should give you some space, but at least let me give you something.” Sirius calls out from your door.

You hesitate. You badly want to let him in, run into his arms and just stay there. You also want to scream at him, hurt him the same way he hurt you. But most of all, you don’t want to see him.

“Love, I promise I won’t bother you until you’re ready.” When he doesn’t get a response, he lets out a defeated sigh. “I’ll leave now. I’ve got something for you, I’ll just leave it at your door. I’m here when you’re ready.”

You don’t move until you hear the gradual fade of his footsteps. Cautiously, you open the door. A basket lay on the wooden floors, filled with chocolates and sweets of all kind. Next to it, was a bouquet of flowers tied neatly by a ribbon. You pick the things up, placing the basket on your bed, and grabbing a vase for the flowers.

As you take a seat on your bed, you notice a letter tucked inside the basket. You pause. Do you really want to read it? You weren’t sure. Biting your lip anxiously, you carefully unfold it.

“My love,

Words cannot express how sorry I am. I could fill this whole note with apologies to you, and I still wouldn’t be done. But you already know that, and apologies aren’t going to fix this. I understand that now.

I know you’re hurting. I’m hurting to, just thinking about how you feel. It was an honest mistake, whether you want to take my word for it or not. I truly don’t know why I did it. It was a horrible thing for me to do, and I wouldn’t be shocked if I lost you forever because of it. I sincerely hope I don’t. I love you too much for that to happen.

I suppose I was missing you. I know you don’t go to these parties, and that is always alright with me, but I guess it would’ve been nice to have you there with me for once. Not that you have to, you know. I suppose I just wanted to be held by you, and this girl just looked so much like you, I guess I didn’t realise it wasn’t you until it was too late.

This did not happen because I’m not happy with you. In fact, you’ve made my life ultimately better by just existing. And I know you are upset with me right now, but please, Y/N, I want us to be okay.

Talk to me when you’re ready.

Yours,

Sirius Black.”

You stare at the letter, frozen, unsure what to do. Sirius was your boyfriend, after all. It would be awful of you if you weren’t to forgive him, especially after the heartfelt gift he’d just given to you.

But… he did cheat on you. Regardless, he cheated.

He wouldn’t do it again, you think, he was just drunk and missing me. He would never do this on purpose.

Your eyes flicked to the photo of you too sitting on your bedside table. It was taken in winter, and you two were standing in the snow in Hogsmeade. He had his arms wrapped around you firmly, and you were looking up at him, laughing.

You had to give him another chance. You couldn’t just give it all up.

»↠ ≈☆≈ ↞«

“Sirius…” Your voice makes him jump. He wasn’t expecting a response from you so soon.

“Y/N.” He copies, giving her a nervous smile.

“You wouldn’t do it again, would you?” You ask, eyes on the ground, not looking at him.

Sirius stands up from his spot on the couch, tilting your chin up to look at him.

“Never, love. I swear.”

He had an honest look on his face, and you trusted him fully.

You smiled, and he echoed it right back at you.

“We’ll be okay, love. We always will.” He whispers to you, his lips close to your ear, making you shiver.

“I know. I don’t doubt it for a second.” You grin at him, before pulling him down into a much-needed kiss.

»↠ ≈☆≈ ↞«

Things with Sirius were almost completely back to normal. You put his mistakes in the past, focusing purely on the present.

At least, that’s how it was for most of the time. Sometimes at night, you lie awake, wondering how he could’ve done something like this to you. He swore he would never do something like this again. But you were sure he didn’t think he would do something like this in the first place.

Regardless, you put on a happy face, and try to make things go back to the way they were before.

Sirius is acting different, however. He is almost more charming. It was obvious to you that he’s trying to make up for his mistakes, but you believe that it would be better to just forget it ever happened. That way, you can change your thinking, gaslighting yourself into thinking it didn’t happen at all.

You found that was the easiest way to deal with the pain. You would never admit to Sirius just how much this had effected you. He already felt awful, and he’d apologised for it, right? So there was nothing to worry about.

You sigh, trying your hardest to focus your attention back on the book in front of you. Studying in the quiet of the library usually put yourself at ease, but it seems to be no use now. Your mind is travelling a million miles per hour, and there’s nothing you could do to slow the thoughts down.

“Y/N, hi.” Remus smiles, sliding into the vacant seat next to you, bringing out his books and placing them gently on the desk.

“Hey Remus, what subject?” You ask, gesturing to the books he’d just placed down.

“Potions. Figured I get a headstart on the new assignment Slughorn has given us. You?”

“Astronomy. Professor Sinstra has been giving me a headache about N.E.W.T.S, so I thought I should study for my test.” You shrug, looking at the sprawl of open books.

“And how’s that going for you?” Remus chuckles lightly, glancing down at the empty page of your notebook.

You groan, laying your head down on the desk. “Not very well. Can’t focus properly.”

Remus smiles slightly in understanding. “Penny for your thoughts?”

You sigh. Do you really want to burden Remus with this, too? Sirius is his best friend.

Remus notices your hesitation, and looks at you worriedly. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Just might be nice not to have to worry on your own.”

“How d’you know I’m worrying?” You question.

He tilts his head. “Y/N, we’ve been friends for a long time. It isn’t that hard to tell when you aren’t feeling okay.”

You sigh again, lifting your head up from the desk. “Dunno, it’s stupid.”

Remus shakes his head. “It’s not stupid if you don’t think it’s stupid.”

You pause, biting your lip. “I just- it’s stupid, really. Just overthinking. Y’know, with the whole Sirius thing. I just want everything to go back to normal, but whenever he’s with me, it’s like he’s walking on eggshells.”

Remus frowns. “It’s not stupid, Y/N. You’re scared. Have you talked to Sirius about this?”

You shake your head, eyes wide. “No, and you must not say a word about this to him, either. I don’t want to make it worse. He already feels awful about it.”

“But it’s stressing you out, Y/N! And this is Sirius we’re talking about. He’s understanding, he won’t be upset if you bring this up. To be honest, I think it might make him feel better.”

“You think?” You ask, furrowing your eyebrows as Remus nods.

“You two are so in sync, you just need to get over this rough patch. Talk it out with him, and if it makes things worse than you can blame me.” Remus smiles.

You nod your head slowly, uncertain, but you would trust Remus with your life. You know he’s being honest with you. Gathering your belongings, you stand up. “Thanks, Remus.” “Anytime, Y/N, you know that.”

»↠ ≈☆≈ ↞«

Remus was right, as per usual. Sirius and you had talked it out, and your relationship was finally back to normal. Months had passed since the incident, and there was nothing that had happened that made you doubt your love for him.

“Morning, dove.” Sirius smiles at you, placing a chaste kiss to your cheek, before taking a seat next to you at the breakfast table.

“Morning, Siri.” You grin at him, leaning into his side a little as you ate.

It was a Saturday morning, and the hours had gone by slowly. For once, you’d waken up earlier than Sirius, choosing to head down and get an early breakfast before everyone else woke up and stole your favourite foods.

“You’re up early. Any reason as to why?” Sirius asks, leaning forward to put some food on his plate.

You shake your head at his question. “No, just woke up early today. Sorry I didn’t wait for you, I really wanted to go down and eat. Such a wider variety when you don’t wake up late.”

“It’s ok, Y/N, you know I don’t mind. I just hate the thought of you eating alone.”

You laugh and shake your head. “I didn’t eat alone, silly. Remus was with me.”

For the first time since Sirius sat down, he looked away from you and across the table, and there sat Remus. The boy gave him a smile, but Sirius didn’t return it. That confused you, the pair were really close friends.

“Right.” Sirius murmurs, choosing to play with his food instead of looking at either of you. He almost looked… angry. But that wouldn’t be right, would it? Sirius never got angry.

“Well, I’ve gotta go study some more. I’ll see you two later, yeah?” Remus says, getting up from his seat.

“Yeah, yeah, see you later.” Sirius grumbles, still not looking up. You shoot him a confused look, before smiling up at Remus.

“See you later, Rem. Enjoy your study!” You waved him off, watching him walk away.

“So, Rem, huh?” Sirius blurts out, finally meeting your eyes.

You tilt your head, “Come on, Sirius. Don’t be like that. We’ve been friends forever, you know that.”

“So you’d rather have breakfast with him then me?” You were slightly anxious. Sirius had never shown anger towards you. Sure, you’d seen him angry, but he never pointed his anger towards you.

“It wasn’t planned. I woke up, and went down here, and Remus was already sitting down, reading a book. You know I love eating breakfast with you. Don’t be sour, love.” You put your hand on his shoulder, and lean in to kiss his cheek, but he moves away, brushing your hand off as he does so.

“If you love it so much, why didn’t you wait for me, hmm? Instead, you decide to go gallivanting around with one of my best mates! For all I know, you could be cheating on me!” His voice is raised, and you flinch away.

“Last time I checked, it was you who cheated on me!” You say, the anger getting to you as tears prickle your eyes. God, not now. “You really think I would stoop that low, Sirius? Why would I even cheat on you! Remus and I are friends, you know that, he knows that, everyone knows that! So don’t you dare accuse me of cheating on you, Sirius Black!”

You slammed your cutlery down on your plate, getting up and leaving.

»↠ ≈☆≈ ↞«

You didn’t speak to Sirius for the rest of the day. And it seems that he had the same plan as you, the both of you avoiding each other at all costs. You stayed in your dorm, not leaving once.

“Y/N… are you okay?” Lily asks as she walks into the dorm, sitting down next you on your bed.

“‘m fine.” You grumble, not looking her in the eye.

“I heard the two of you, down at breakfast. What happened?”

“Sirius thought I was cheating on him with Remus,” you let out a humourless laugh, “I was trying to calm him down, when he accused me of cheating on him. Just because I sat with Remus at breakfast.”

Lily rubs your back sympathetically. “Are you okay, though?”

You pause. In all the chaos that had ensured this morning, you truly didn’t think about how you felt.

“I… I don’t know, Lils. It hurt, that he thought I would cheat on him. And I was mean. I brought up… you know. I know I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help it. I wasn’t thinking properly. I was just so angry.”

Tears began to fall from your eyes, and Lily was quick to wipe them away with her thumb.

“It’s okay, Y/N, you know, Sirius was probably tired, and you know how he gets. I don’t think he meant it.” Lily said pulling you into a hug. You rest your head on her shoulder, tears staining her shirt, but you know Lily wouldn’t be letting you go anytime soon.

“He’s never been angry with me before. It scared me.”

“I know, Y/N/N, I know.” She pulled out of the embrace, “Maybe get some sleep, yeah? It might help you think clearer. I’ll have a talk with James, see if Sirius has said anything to him. It’ll be alright, Y/N, I know it will.”

You nod your head, curling in on yourself, silent tears streaming down your face as you fell asleep.

»↠ ≈☆≈ ↞«

The next day, you slugged down to breakfast. Late, this time. You don’t think you’d ever have an early breakfast again.

“How are you feeling?” Lily asks softly as you take a seat next to her.

“Okay.” You shrug. It wasn’t a lie. You weren’t feeling bad, and you certainly weren’t feeling good. You were somewhere in the middle.

“I talked to James last night.” Lily begins, and you look over at her. “Sirius had talked with James after it all happened. Apparently he was mad. But he was also upset. I think he knew that you wouldn’t do that to him, but the reminder that he did it got to him. James said that he wasn’t thinking straight. Apparently he’d gotten a letter from his mother that night.”

“Why wouldn’t he say anything to me?” You ask softly. Did he not trust you?

“I’m… I’m not too sure. Maybe just check in with him. Only if you want to, of course. If you want to break up with him and never see him again then I’m completely fine with that too.”

You let out a snort.

“I’ll talk with him, I s’pose.” You smiled softly, and Lily leant her head on your shoulder. “You want to? I didn’t force you to, right?”

“I want to. It was only a fight. Couples fight all the time.”

»↠ ≈☆≈ ↞«

You knocked on the door of Sirius’ dorm room gently.

“Who is it?” You hear Sirius call out. He doesn’t sound very good, and your heart breaks at the feeling of him being upset on his own.

“It’s me,” you say softly, “can I come in?”

You hear a shuffle behind the door, and after a minute or two, Sirius opens the door with a creak. He looks awful. There were dark bags underneath his puffy red eyes, and he looked like he hadn’t eaten.

“You got a letter from your mother?” You ask tentatively. He looks confused, and he’s about to open his mouth when you answer his question. “James told me.”

“Ah.” He says, standing there awkwardly. He fiddles with his rings, and you let out a slow breath, staring down at his hands.

“I’m sorry, Sirius. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. It just felt… awful to be accused of something I didn’t do. I should never have brought up the past. We’d moved on from it, and I had to go and bring it up.”

“I know you would never cheat on me, Y/N. I guess… I was just overwhelmed with my mother, and I got jealous over Remus. I’m not good at controlling my emotions.” He laughs humourlessly.

You look up at him slowly. “Why didn’t you tell me your mother wrote to you?” Your voice broke, and you could feel tears threatening to spill from your eyes. “I could’ve been there for you. I could’ve helped. You know I only ever want the best for you, Siri.”

He lets out a breath of his own. “I never want you to have to worry about me. I’ve always dealt with my family issues on my own, or with James. I never tell anyone else, and I didn’t want to burden you with it. They’re… a lot. And the letter, it wasn’t nice. I didn’t want you to get upset.”

“But I want to help you, Sirius. That’s what I’m here for. I’m your girlfriend, you can tell me everything. You don’t need to hide things from me.” You smile.

He moved forward hugging you tightly. He rests his face in the crook of your neck, and you can feel his body relax in your arms.

“Thank you, Y/N. I don’t deserve you. You’re too good to me.” He mumbles

»↠ ≈☆≈ ↞«

But it seemed that Sirius did feel the need to hide things from you. When you’d hang out together, sometimes he’d go quiet when you’d ask a question, or he would get defensive about something small.

And he most certainly did not discuss the letter from his mother.

You knew you shouldn’t push him, so you didn’t. You waited patiently for him to come to you and tell you what the letter was about. You waited weeks, and you didn’t hear another word on it. You even found out from James that he’d gotten another one, but he still didn’t bring that up. But you never pushed him. You continued to wait.

It started to get worse, though. Sometimes, he’d disappear for the whole day. He’d cancel your plans. He’d sit with other people at dinner. He wouldn’t ask you to help him study.

You tried to believe that it was because of the letter from his mother. You truly did try, but you knew it wasn’t the case. There has to be something else. Someone else.

You enter the library with a stack of books. You’d fallen a bit behind on your schoolwork due to your worries about Sirius.

I’ll finish this and I’ll worry about Sirius later.

Turns out, you didn’t even have time to start your schoolwork before you had to think about Sirius and what he was doing. In fact, he was right in front of you, sitting with a Ravenclaw girl. She was undoubtedly pretty, you were fairly certain she was in the year below you.

You try to keep your thoughts positive. Sirius was smart when he wants to be, maybe a professor finally realised that and gave him the tas of tutoring a student. You look at the table, not a single book in sight. You let out a shaky breath. They must be friends then. Though, Sirius had never mentioned being friends with a girl in Ravenclaw before. Maybe it was a new thing.

Your positive thoughts ended pretty quickly, though, when you see Sirius lean in closer, smiling at her how he used to smile at you, then giving the girl a deep kiss.

When was the last time he kissed you like that?

You stand there frozen, unsure of what to do. You can’t move. You want to look away, but your eyes refuse to leave their table. The girl pulls away, and Sirius has a grin on his face. Strange, how you hadn’t seen that smile in ages, but this girl gets it so easily.

You can’t take it anymore. You’re books clutter to the floor, and the noise is enough to make the pair look over at you. The smile on Sirius’ face disappeared fast, and he’s standing up in an instant.

“Y/N!” he calls, rushing over to you. But you certainly aren’t waiting around to hear his excuse.

You run out of the library, the books discarded on the floor. Tears stream out of your eyes, and you hear him call out to you again. He’s nearing you, and looking around, there’s nowhere for you to run to. You’re well and truly cornered.

“Y/N, please, I-I can make it up to you. I swear. I’ll be good for you.” Sirius looks heartbroken.

How dare he, you think, how dare he look heartbroken when he did this to himself.

“How many times are you gonna say that until you mean it?” You ask, holding your head up high, trying to remain strong despite the tears that have fallen onto your cheeks.

He stammers, but he can’t come up with a good answer.

“You said you loved me, Sirius. How many times did you say that and lie? I have given you everything you could’ve asked for and more, but it’s not enough for you, is it?” You sniff, and inhale shakily, “It was never enough. I was never enough.”

Sirius looks at you, but he can’t say anything.

Can’t or won’t? a cruel part of you thinks.

“Don’t talk to me again, Sirius Black. We’re done. I never want to see your face again.”

You turn away, leaving Sirius stranded in the hallway.

»↠ ≈☆≈ ↞«

Sirius Black was the best boyfriend you could ever ask for.

But he was also the worst.

Sure, he was handsome, chivalrous, funny.

But he was also cruel, bitter and a cheater.

You loved him, of course. Endlessly. More than words could describe.

But love doesn’t always go both ways.

You are reminded of that when he holds her hand walking down the halls, or when he kisses her senseless, or when he hugs her so tight, that she truly believes her body has never felt safer.

So yes, it was safe to say that Sirius Black was the best boyfriend you could’ve ask for.

But he was also the worst heartbreak you ever had to endure.

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the-worrier-of-light · 26 days ago

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Roevember #1&2: Name/Roots

Wilfreda Bos'nwyn

Sahja had just sat down to mend some clothing when the distinctive thunk-thunk of her husband’s workboots coming up the stairs pricked her ears. Odd—she thought—since his ship wasn’t supposed to return for another fortnight. While the weather had certainly been miserably stormy as of late, he had sailed through worse in the past without issue. Eyeing the door, the miqo’te quickly folded up her work and set it aside. Whatever the reason for his arrival, then, was sure to be far more interesting than needlecraft.

All at once, man and rain alike surged across the threshold as the cottage door blew open. Sahja’s husband, Arland, was soaked through, hair plastered to his forehead under a sodden cap. And yet, he was grinning wildly, his eyes glittering. In his arms he bore a mass of sailcloth, freely dripping from the rain.

“Sahj, my girl, ye won’t believe the cargo we picked up in Limsa this time!”

Sahja glared at him, but she couldn’t help smiling at his unexpected intrusion. “Whatever it was, it had better be worth you emptying the whole o’ the Rhotano onto my clean floor.”

“Bah! You’ll forget the floor, soon as you see this. Here, help me make some space.”

A table was cleared, and the Hyur placed his burden in the center. Sahja peered over his shoulder and watched as her husband, with unusual gentleness, began to unwrap the sailcloth. The bundle had several layers, and as more was removed, she could swear whatever was inside was… moving?

He paused before lifting the last of the sailcloth. “Sahja, I know you always dreamed o’ chasin’ after little ones, but that was something I was never able to give ye. Well, I reckon Nymeia finally smiled on us—”

A wail interrupted him, and Sahja’s eyes widened as she seized the last of the sailcloth and tossed it aside. Safely swaddled from the rain was another bundle of blankets... enveloping the largest baby she had ever seen.

* * *

“—So the bosun cracks open one o’ the produce crates, looking for the source of the mewlin’,” explained Arland. “No doubt expectin’ to find a kitten or some such. But what does he find but a bleedin’ baby! Thought he’d taken stock of one too many ales ‘til I saw her with me own eyes.”

“Who in the hells puts a baby in a crate in the first place?” wondered Sahja, exasperated. Her arms were exceedingly full as she struggled to hold a rag dipped in sheepsmilk to the squirming infant’s lips.

“Eh... probably some desperate brothel girl who couldn’t afford to keep ‘er, I’d wager.” Arland thoughtfully puffed away at his pipe, much drier after a fresh change of clothes and a seat by the fire. “Probably in a hurry too—left no note with the poor girl, not even a name.”

Sahja glanced up from the child. “She doesn’t have a name?”

“Well… She’s a Sea Wolf, obviously, so the lads have been callin’ her ‘Bos’nwyn,’ on account o’ the bosun being the one to find her. But seeing as the only names I ever invented were for ships, I figured I’d best leave the forename to you.”

A name. Sahja gazed down at the baby’s face, which had relaxed with the feeding. Her own name and those of her sisters had been passed down through their clan, but a Miqo’te name didn’t seem fitting for a Roegadyn child. On the other hand, Sea Wolf names were a mystery to her—apparently full of meaning in the old Sea Wolf language, but exposure had taught her only the most common words. No, it would have to be something else. Lost in thought, her eyes wandered to look at her husband, and an idea emerged.

“Your mother… her name was Wilfreda, yes?”

Arland’s eyes closed, and he smiled softly, lowering the pipe to his lap. “Aye, Wilfreda. She’d have been well pleased to have a granddaughter.”

“It’s a lovely name. Then, Wilfreda… Bos’nwyn, was it?”

Wilfreda Bos’nwyn, content at last, drifted to sleep in her new mother’s arms.

“Well now, our little turnip’s come home! Bring back any new tales for your ma and pa?”

#roevemberxiv #roevemberxiv2024 #VERY LATE but I'm glad to get it out #this origin story has been rattling around the back of my brain for a looong time #had to invent something to make up for me freestyling names in the free trial #Wilfreda #my wol #ffxiv

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idiopathicsmile · 5 months ago

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youtube

so to celebrate the ~brand-new paperback edition~ of my award-nominated queer sci-fi YA mystery Stars Hide Your Fires (paperback out July 2, preorder here for less than $11!), i wrote a brand-new song. the genre is "getting roped into a frantic murder investigation at a sumptuous ball, along with an intriguing stranger...in space."

Lyrics (and chords, why not) under the cut!

Capo 3

[Em]There's no mistaking the [C] emperor's not waking there's [D]no way of faking the [Am] blood where he's found

and she is an unknown a sworn foe to the throne but our fates have been sewn together somehow

[C] So we follow [G] the clues in [Em] myriad [D] hues this [C] night has a [G] fuse and that fuse is [D] burning burning burning

and someone in this ball would have me take the fall I thought I knew gall but I'm quickly learning learning learning

and this station is light years away from the safe spheres with legions of guards near and us in disguise

she's so good and so smart a studious upstart shines bright as a new star —with morals as high

[C] So we follow [G] the clues not like [Em] we can[D] refuse til [C] they scream “j' [G] accuse!” there's no time for [D] yearning yearning yearning

All the empire's a stage when it's not a cage in love and in rage more than worlds are turning turning turning

[C] So we follow [G] the clues in [Em] myriad [D] hues this [C] night has a [G] fuse and that fuse is [D] burning burning burning...

#shyfblogging #oh look a tag for my music #Youtube

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steddieas-shegoes · 1 year ago

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'til the grave and when we're ghosts

| This is a birthday ficlet for my flower, Dio (@flowercrowngods), who deserves all the happiness and love that he can possibly get, especially on his birthday. I hope the love between Steve and Eddie is sweet enough for you today ❤️ - Mickala

--------------------

“The moon’s hiding tonight,” Steve whispered.

He’d come outside with Eddie to help him relax after a hard day at physical therapy. The air around them was thick with a tension Steve wasn’t used to.

Even on his bad days, Eddie was usually still light enough to float around the space they shared, bringing happiness to Steve that he hadn’t been prepared for.

“Yeah. Maybe she’s having a bad day too,” Eddie whispered, his voice sounding choked, wet.

Close to tears.

Steve turned onto his side, watched as Eddie closed his eyes, a tear slipping down the side of his face.

Steve reached his fingers out slowly, wiping away the moisture and waiting for Eddie to open his eyes again.

“What’s wrong, Eds?”

Eddie finally turned his face, another tear escaping from his eye.

“Do you ever wonder if it’s worth the trouble?”

“If what’s worth the trouble?”

“The work of getting better. The fact that I’m six months into recovery and barely closer to being cleared for take off than I was when I started is annoying. What’s worse is that this may be all I ever get to be again. I might always have a limp, and pain, and lose feeling in my leg and arm randomly, and phantom pain in my stomach. I could spend years at physical therapy and brain therapy and taking medications and it could all mean nothing.”

Steve cupped Eddie’s jaw, shaking his head as he spoke.

“It’s all for something. It’s to show yourself that you are alive. It’s to show the kids that you aren’t gonna give up on being the best you can be. It’s to show Wayne that you are the same Eddie you’ve always been.”

“But it’s hard. It’s so hard.”

Steve leaned in and kissed a tear on his cheek, biting back his own sob when Eddie pulled him on top of him.

Sometimes Eddie liked to feel small. He liked having Steve surround him, liked having Steve’s face right above him so he couldn’t see anything, feel anything, but Steve.

And Steve always knew when he needed it, always made himself bigger, shielded him from the world.

He did it now, curled himself around Eddie so that none of the barely-there moonlight could break through. Shared breaths against lips kept them both warm, kept them safe.

“I am so proud of you, baby. Even when it’s hard, you try. Even when it’s hard, you don’t run. You could have given up every single day since you woke up, but you didn’t. You kept going, kept trying, kept showing up for yourself. You make me so proud just to know you, let alone get to love you.”

Eddie’s leaking eyes watched Steve’s, his gaze turning softer as Steve spoke, his body relaxing more with every word.

It’s not the way Steve was going to tell him he loved him, not even close to his original plan.

His original plan was a romantic dinner, all of Eddie’s favorites, even the cookies that were kind of a pain in the ass to make but made Eddie light up. Watching the stars like this, but in the privacy of Steve’s backyard instead of the semi-privacy of the backyard of the new trailer. Going for a midnight swim, clothes abandoned on the pool chairs, skin against skin underwater and above it.

He’d wrap his arms around Eddie’s waist, the cool water lapping at their skin as Eddie pulled him against his chest, humming a song or whispering a story of just breathing slowly.

He’d tell him. He’d say he loved him. Make sure he knew how every moment with him is a moment Steve couldn’t have dreamed up if he tried.

That was the plan.

Plans can change, but his feelings don’t.

He loved Eddie when he was in a coma in the hospital, he loved Eddie when he woke up begging to see Dustin to make sure he really was okay, he loved Eddie every time he laughed and sang and made wild gestures for the people he loved.

He’ll keep loving Eddie through every moment of pain, through every day like today and night like this, he’ll love Eddie because it’s easy.

“I love you, Eddie. More than you can possibly imagine or know, more than I can say. And every day it gets bigger and better and I wonder what I could have possibly done to deserve this chance. I didn’t know it was possible to love a person as much as I love you, but I’ll keep doing it, every single day, for as long as you let me and beyond that. ‘Til the grave and when we’re ghosts, baby.”

Steve was shaking, both with the effort of staying above Eddie for so long and with the emotions spilling out of him.

He cupped Eddie’s jaw, his thumb wiping away a set of fresh tears.

He rested his forehead against Eddie’s, felt Eddie’s hands reach up and hold his hips, tug his waist down so they were touching at nearly every point they physically could be.

“I didn’t think I’d have this, I still don’t.”

“But you do, Eds. You do. You have me, you have the love I have for you. It’s all yours for as long as you want it.”

“‘Til the grave and when we’re ghosts?” Eddie smirked up at him, his cheeks flush from crying.

“Exactly.”

Steve nudged his nose against Eddie’s, silently asking for a kiss if he was ready for one. Not pushing, just suggesting.

Eddie leaned his head back so their lips could meet in a messy kiss, the tears staining Eddie’s face now becoming a part of Steve’s.

But that was it, wasn’t it?

Steve wanted every part of Eddie.

He wanted the sunshine and the moon and the stars. He wanted the laughter and fun and love. He wanted the touch and the looks and the excitement.

But he also wanted the tears and the snot. He wanted the bad days and the pain. He wanted the nightmares and the trauma.

He wanted it all with Eddie because Eddie was worth having it all with.

“I’ll take any bad day with you over any good day without you,” Eddie whispered as they pulled apart. “I love you too.”

Steve shivered at the words, felt the way they carved a permanent place in his chest.

Love didn’t fix the bad days, not for Eddie or for Steve, but it made them bearable, made them feel like they had something to hold onto when everything seemed hard to grasp.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #ficlet #very light angst #hurt/comfort #love confessions #eddie has a bad day but steve makes it better

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