#she really just. springs right back after addressing the issues. Tumblr posts

[nihils-trolls]

@condescensionsation

Jokes on you, she's doing the best she has in literal sweeps. Part of her 'laid back' personality was mostly due to her being constantly exhausted and fatigued all of the time. Could not be brought to care about much. Villoh just did a great job of hiding it for a long time.

But now, she's moved on to other work (no longer a courier) and has been addressing the reason she's so low energy. It's like the girl has actual opinions and emotions on things now. During the sweep, she intends to set aside more opportunities to visit/spend time with her quads, reconnect with some old friends and maybe even make a couple new ones.

[uchihaharlot]

FOR THE LIFE OF ME COULD NOT GET THIS TO LET ME EDIT IT??!!!! wtf tumblr!

Ok what the hell, this is so gosh darn wholesome and sweet. I am such an old soul (like seriously sorry these songs are so damn old). I included potential songs they would dance to below. Though I am more partial to Billie Holiday’s ‘I’ll Be Seeing You’ — ‘I don’t want to set the world on fire’ by The Ink Spots is really on par for an Uchiha. I know you said party, but this is now the festival of romance. Lol.

N/SFW(?? Super suggestive); pining; down bad simpy boy Shisui who can’t keep his eyes or hands off you.

• Ok so, my king. Shisui, is such a suave guy. Hears this girl laughing out with some friends at the spring Festival of Romance. He’s not entirely new to the scene, but the night has been overwhelming. Lots of grabby girls trying to capture one of Konoha’s most eligible bachelors. He’d really only came for the food and drinks.

• Target acquired, oops. Red spun pearls dial in when he hears this girl laugh before he actually sees her — it didn’t help that she was drop dead gorgeous either. It wasn’t even her looks that caught his attention first, it was the sweet little melodic wisp of her laugh/hum.

• Super down bad from the go. Basically is sharingan fucking her from a distance, respectfully, secretly. The man just likes what he sees, and he wants a before and after image of their first encounter. Sike, he’s just that shameless.

• Has no issue walking right up to her group of friends to address his desires. Shisui would say something extremely corny while still making it sound good, ‘You know what you'd look beautiful in? My arms.’

• Doesn’t even wait for the silly oneliner to register before he swoops her up to the dance floor, lol. Poor girl is just like system crash.exe.

• Doesn’t even need to try, this girl is besotted and honestly, a little caught off guard by his advances. Shisui normally thinks rationally, so he’ll apologize for stealing her so abruptly from her friends but, like, ‘If you let me borrow a kiss, I promise I'll give it right back.’

• 🫣🫠 She doesn’t even know how to respond to that, he is just so bold. Will turn her cheek shyly which just has Shisui smiling the full width of his mouth. She’s in just as deep as he is.

• But when she looks back up at him, oh man. His lips are a hairsbreadth away, and that’s when she is caught in his vision. Inoperable, he won’t coerce her, consent is king but if she closes her eyes.

• Shisui will feather his lips to hers and reel her a little closer. The music sounds muffled over the sound of her capillaries expanding and rushing blood through her ears. Ah fuck, when did his hand end up at that small of her back. He won’t overtly take advantage of the situation, but part of him really is tempted to.

• Shisui lovingly places his hands in all the right spots, appropriate for public, inappropriate for strangers. Wholly hot and scandalous.

• There are a plethora of people surrounding them, so Shisui will bring her closer than close, basically his mouth to her ear as she guides them across the dance floor. She’s incredibly sweet but quiet when they whisper between one another. They’ll end up spending majority of the night out dancing — probably the last people to leave. With her head on his shoulder, Shisui is blissed out by her presence.

• Shisui is a gentleman, he’ll offer to ‘walk’ her home. Surprise Shunshin before he even considers if she has a sensitive stomach. It will catch her off guard and surprisingly makes her curse, ‘fuck me’ out of exasperation under her breath.

• To which Shisui would quip, ‘don’t mind if I do.’

[elliemarchetti]

To Start Anew

A spontaneous Elucien drabble for the prompt jasmine from my alphabet of flowers prompt list in honour of the first day of spring. This story was born from a flash of inspiration, so I didn't have time to either proof read or submit it to my beta.

Words: 731

Elain was cutting her jasmines when she sensed Lucien's presence nearby. She heard his heart beating in the distance, felt him getting closer, until the constant pulsations were drowned out by the sound of his footsteps on the gravel driveway. He didn’t need to make so much noise, she knew he was able to move as silently as a cat, but he was doing it to alert her of his arrival, so she could avoid her undesirable mate by hiding in the kitchen or retreating to her rooms. Today, however, she had no intention of doing so. She had all winter to think about her attitude and she had concluded she acted horribly. She hadn’t behaved as the kind person her friends and family knew and loved, and although it was the Inner Circle’s pressure that pushed her to be so rude, she still owed him an apology and a demonstration of how amiable she actually was. That’s why she was picking her jasmines, but her elaborate plan B probably no longer mattered since he was here. Not that Elain hadn’t been warned with adequate advance of his arrival, on the contrary, perhaps Feyre gave her too much time to orchestrate her plot to be alone with him. She didn’t really feel guilty for having suggested to some of Velaris’s less well-off citizens to insist for an emergency meeting with the High Lady, after all the issue had to be addressed sooner or later, but she had relied on timing and the twin’s cooperation so that Lucien wouldn’t be notified of the cancellation of his visit. Evidently, now she really had a reason to wait with bated breath for the familiar creak of the gate.

She turned only when she was sure to be within earshot, but when she met his guarded gaze, her resolve faltered. He was perfect, with his red hair collected neatly in a low ponytail, which left his angular jaw and high cheekbones exposed. His skin was more golden than when she'd last seen him, and even the long scar that ran across his face seemed less noticeable, more blended. He was wearing a green suit, with a jacket awfully similar to the one he'd given her years ago, when she'd just been Made. The golden embroidery on the wrists highlighted well-groomed hands, strangely free of calluses, with tapered fingers, more suited for a lover than a warrior, but after all, if the gossip Elain had picked up had any truth to it, Lucien knew how to be both, and was extremely skilled either in the art of love and that of war. The thought, for some reason, made her blush.

“Good morning, my lady,” he said, bowing his head slightly, maintaining the distance she herself had imposed and now made her ache so much.

“Hello Lucien,” she ventured, her voice almost too small. He made her uncomfortable, and he intimidated her, but maybe it wasn’t such a terrible thing, maybe the sense of crumpling in her insides she felt every time she saw him had nothing to do with negative emotions. On his part, Lucien was so amazed in hearing her say his name he stopped on his tracks, giving Elain the opportunity she had been waiting for months. At first, she moved a little uncertainly, then her legs took courage, and with a few steps she was next to him, with a basket full of his favourite flowers in her right hand.

“Unfortunately, Feyre had to go out urgently and I’m afraid she wouldn’t return until late afternoon,” she started, studying his face in search for hints on how he felt about the whole situation. “She apologizes for not being able to warn you in time, but I guess it’s no big deal since you’ll see each other tomorrow for Nynsar.”

“Actually, by tomorrow I figured I’d be back… you know, to Spring…” Lucien began, but Elain cut him off, telling him he just couldn’t miss the treats Nuala and Cerridwen helped her to make.

“Do you want to try a slice of our apple pie?” she asked, incredulous at her own brazenness. “If a maid is the one serving it there shouldn’t be a problem, right?”

“No, no problem my lady,” he stammered, and Elain smiled, ecstatic at the idea of ​​having caught him off guard with her invitation.

“Please, just call me Elain.”

[acourtofthought]

Hi I was wondering if you still think eluciens book is next after hofas?

Even after HOFAS, I still think Elucien's book is next especially because as of HOFAS, Az still does not seem to give credit where credit is due in terms of Elain.

SJM gave Chaol a book but not at the expense of Aelin finding the person with whom she was meant for.

I like Chaol very much but I don't think it can be denied that he was unable to truly embrace Celaena for everything she was. Dorian once said to him that he didn't get to pick the parts of her that he loved and it was true. He struggled with thinking she was assassinating people at the Kings orders though that is what she was hired to do. He struggled once he found out she had magic. He struggled once he found out she was really Aelin.

So imagine if SJM gave Chaol his HEA with Yrene before Aelin fell in love with Rowan? It would send the message that "hey, it's cool you had prejudices and here's your reward in Yrene!"

People in the fandom go gaga over Az. They either moon over his interactions with Elain or over his interactions with Gwyn.

But his attitude towards both Elain and Lucien often gets swept under the rug unless it's being addressed in a post trying to prove why he and Elain aren't endgame. There's a sense of "he doesn't respect Elain and therefore will not end up with her" and then many move right on to how he and Gwyn would be great for one another while completely skipping over the fact that he probably needs to learn a lesson or two before that ever happens.

It would be like SJM giving Tamlin his HEA with someone before Feyre ended up with Rhys. Or Tamlin getting his HEA before Lucien.

I'm not saying Az is exactly like Tamlin but there are similarities there and I think it's odd that we would all probably agree Tamlin should not have gotten his HEA before Feyre or get one before Lucien because of the way he treated them while some believe Az, with the way he acts towards Elain and treats Lucien, should get his HEA before them.

Az's behavior is problematic but many want to turn a blind eye, believing that as long as he is with Gwyn, he'll be a better male.

To me, Az's true growth will not ring as true until he sees that Lucien is in fact good enough for Elain, that she does in fact have interest in him, that Elain and Lucien are in fact just as powerful and capable of Az himself and him feeling happy for them, him being able to acknowledge he was wrong.

Az finding his mate in the next ACOTAR book and him suddenly being gracious as a result is not a lesson learned. "I got my mate so now I can admit you're a good guy Lucien, sorry about that."

It rings insincere. I think that as we just got the first hints of a Gwynriel mating bond introduced in SF, it's not crazy to think that SJM will give their story a little more time to cook while Elucien's mating bond is first dealt with.

Beyond that, I don't think a Gwynriel book at this time moves the plot forward with Koschei, Beron, Tamlin, Vassa, or the peace treaty.

Suddenly drawing the current "villains" into Night Court territory drama with the Illyrians, the Valkyrie or the Prison lands doesn't make a lot of sense to me because then, Elucien's story would be set in the NC.

I think it's clear that the current main issues in their world exist outside the NC borders.

Beron wants Spring lands and the NC needs Springs armies as an ally yet Tamlin isn't getting better.

Koschei wants to free himself of the lake to become master of their world (not just one territory).

The fae in Vallahan want to move into human territory.

Vassa's curse takes her back to Koschei's lake on the continent.

The Valkyries and the Illyrians have nothing to do with these plots. People claim that Koschei is connected to the Illyrians because of the Rite but that was Briallyn's plot for Nesta because she needed to wear Nesta's powers down. "Your power is too strong - throwing you into this primitive spectacle wore you down". It really had nothing to do with the Illyrians themselves.

I also don't believe that SJM is going to heavily tie Merrill and time travel into what's going on across the continent and Spring. I think SJM laid the groundwork for her future series which I imagine will deal with more crossover plots, Merrill as a villain and world walking but the Valkyrie storyline which consists of building up an entire legion of elite female warriors is not something I see happening within the same year that the idea of the Valkyrie being reborn took place. And there's no point in suddenly tying the Valkyrie / Illyrians to Koschei and the peace treaty in a single book when we know Elucien's book will not take place in the NC. It makes no sense for SJM to turn Beron's attention to the NC when Rhys remains the most powerful HL and could easily wipe Beron off the map if he dares to enter NC territory. The reason Beron is looking to Spring is because of it's weakened state.

I once called it a marble run but SJM recently used the airplane taxiing metaphor.

Yes, Gwyn talked of wanting to leave the library but Vassa has been trying to free herself from her curse for much longer.

Yes, Gwyn and Az have both been given mysterious backgrounds but both Lucien and Elain have had unexplored powers and Lucien's still hasn't learned of his real father for a much longer time.

Yes, Gwynriel had the first hints of their mating bond established but Elucien's "will they / won't they?" has been one of the main questions of the ACOTAR series since ACOMAF.

Yes, Gwyn has her own story to tell but Elain is Feyre's sister and she's been waiting to tell her story for much longer. And I do think the underdog deserves her chance to shine when SF continued reminding us that there are still some who feel it's alright to speak for Elain and who don't believe her capable.

This series is not going to end up only being about the Archerons, I imagine SJM will continue on with Mor's story, Gwynriel's story, and more on Nesta's journey outside of Feyre and Rhys.

But to me it doesn't make sense that she would skip over Elain to tell Gwyn and Az's romantic arc first, especially when Az is one of the guilty parties of underestimating Elain.

SJM herself spoke of how her stories revolve around the female's journey and while I admit she also writes books that start off because of a male's journey (Chaol), I think Az getting a book before Elain would completely go against the foundation of what she typically writes. A problematic male character's happiness gained at the expense of a female character's happiness (and an unproblematic male like Lucien) would not be a very Girl Power message.

But of course, that is only my opinion and I have no idea whether SJM sees it that way or not.  

[drarryglobesficrecs]

Hogwarts Eight Year - Drarry fic recs( word length- above 50k)

Pt. 2 (short fics)

Bitter Transmutation : Cruel Transformation by DorthyAnn(103k)

The terms of Draco’s probation require him to finish his final year of schooling, he just wants to survive with what little dignity he has left, in face of students that hate him, falling behind on his school work, and all the strange fevers and weakness and changes… that only seem to be getting worse.

Mental by sara_holmes(186k)

Harry has had quite enough of sharing his mind with someone else, thankyouverymuch. A miscast Legilimecy spell says otherwise.

Ex Nihilo (And Other Feats of An Untrained Veela) by Kandakicksass(127k)

Ever since returning to Hogwarts, Harry has had nothing to do with Draco Malfoy, who exists at the bottom of the social ladder and is just trying to survive their "eighth year." One veela presentation (and Harry's natural resistance to veela allure) changes all of that.

Things Worth Knowing by Femme (femmequixotic), noeon (noe)(164k)

After the Battle, Harry thinks he's left Hogwarts for good, but Minerva insists that all students return for an Eighth Year if they wish to sit for NEWTs in the spring, and Harry needs those NEWTs to go into the Aurors. Draco's just grateful not to be in Azkaban. Or the Manor. He's hoping he can steer clear of Potter this year and grapple with his own problems. Unfortunately for him, Potter appears to be one of those problems. And that's not even addressing the fact that Potter's got serious issues of his own, which Draco realises as he's forced to share an Eighth Year dormitory room and several classes with the Gryffindor Git. If only they can make it through the year without killing each other, it should be all right, shouldn't it?

Right Hand Red by lq_traintracks (lumosed_quill)(73k)

Harry felt Malfoy's breath on his lips as they came together over the bottle, hands firmly planted on the floor as though they each needed their familiar soil, refusing to cross into enemy territory. Except that Malfoy no longer felt like his enemy. Malfoy felt inevitable.

Oxytocin by WouldItWere(147k)

Draco Malfoy cannot sleep. If he keeps going like this, he will go mad, or die, or both. For some reason, though, he can sleep whenever Harry Potter is with him. And Harry Potter is nothing if not a helper to those in need.

when evil blooms by thedoomofvalyria(83k)

Harry wanted a normal 8th year, but the mysterious and beautiful flowers growing around the castle have other ideas. They're up to something. And so is Draco Malfoy.

Nyctophilia by prolonged_autumn(107k)

Everyone's back for 8th year, and Harry and his friends seem determined to spend their last year in school running around at night, hyped up on coffee and alcohol and Honeydukes candy, doing all the childish things they didn't have the chance to do before. Draco watches as he's always watched: from afar, quiet and bitter and hopelessly in love. That is, until Pansy decides she's had quite enough of it.

Written on the Heart by who_la_hoop(113k)

Harry doesn’t mind that so many Slytherins from his year have returned to finish their NEWTs, really he doesn’t. It’s just – do they have to be so friendly? He’s not prejudiced, really he’s not. It’s just – they’ve got to be up to something, right? Unnerved by the attention he’s attracting from everyone – the Slytherins are the least of it, to be fair – and struggling with a raft of changes to Hogwarts itself, Harry wishes he could be happy that one constant remains: Draco Malfoy really fucking hates him. When he’s hit by an illegal love-spell though, Harry finds he has more to worry about than whether or not Blaise Zabini actually wants to be his friend. For if everyone affected has been blessed – or cursed, by the look on Malfoy’s face – with a magical tattoo revealing the name of their soulmate, what does it mean that Harry’s skin remains completely bare?

Every New Beginning by fencer_x(140k)

“You curl your lip and wrinkle your nose and sneer and call me Saviour, yet you only seek my help at the eleventh hour. That’s what’s fucked up, Malfoy.” || Draco Malfoy is dead, and Harry is absolutely totally fine with that.

The Promise of Summer by Omi_Ohmy(66k)

How was Harry supposed to know that coming back for eighth year would be so confusing? Everything is the same, and yet not the same. And nowhere is this more obvious than with Draco Malfoy. Harry finds himself once more watching and following Malfoy, trying to work him out. When they are drawn together to heal the castle, Harry doesn’t just find Malfoy - he also finds himself.

The July Tree by oknowkiss(51k)

Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor hail… nor well-meaning friends, nor questionable communication skills, nor seven years of hating each other’s guts can keep Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy from falling in love. OR: It’s Eighth Year, and Harry Potter has detention. What else is new? Well, since you asked: Greenhouse Four and the Tree of Life, for a start, and then there’s the new shared Eighth Year common room, and Harry’s sexuality, and these pesky dreams he keeps having about a blond man pushing him into things…

White Lies by cassisluna(171k)

Draco drinks a potion that makes him know if a person is lying, and Harry, apparently at fault that Draco is this way, is forced to 'help' him with the effects of the potion. For the first time, they deal with each other with no lies to hide behind.

Helix by Saras_Girl(92k)

Seven months after the end of the war, Harry is feeling lost. Fortunately, he is about to be offered an unexpected and sparkling chance to find himself again.

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

Big progressive wins in Wisconsin and Chicago elections this week show the staying power of left-wing positions on abortion and crime as issues heading into 2024.

Why It Matters: After Democrats became the surprise winners of the 2022 midterms, the twin Midwest results Tuesday in widely watched mayoral and state Supreme Court races showed how the party could energize its base.

• "Everybody needs to understand this, everybody advising candidates, everybody running, everybody looking at putting ballot initiatives forward: Abortion rights are a winning issue," Democratic strategist Jess McIntosh told Axios.

Driving The News: In Wisconsin, Janet Protasiewicz won in the most expensive state judicial race in U.S. history, giving liberals the state Supreme Court majority for the first time in more than a decade. The crucial election carried implications for abortion rights and redistricting in the perennial swing state.

• With Protasiewicz's win, the court could overturn Wisconsin's pre-Civil War abortion ban and revisit the 2022 congressional maps that favored Republicans.

• McIntosh said that she was surprised by the level of engagement with the down-ballot election.

Protasiewicz won by roughly 11 points, and turnout broke the previous record for a spring election not coinciding with a presidential primary, AP notes.

• Voters "went to the ballot because they understood that the right to abortion depended on this seat," she said.

• Though the election was technically nonpartisan, Protasiewicz was backed by Democrats and abortion rights groups including Emily's List.

In Chicago, progressive Democrat Brandon Johnson beat the more moderate Paul Vallas, who campaigned on a platform focused on public safety as the city grapples with high violent crime.

• Johnson's victory handed progressives control over two of America's largest three cities, following L.A. Mayor Karen Bass' win last year.

State Of Play: Tuesday's results — paired with strong Democratic performance in the midterms — underscore that voters "turn out and are responsive to" the party's messaging on key issues including abortion, the integrity of U.S. democracy and addressing crime, Colin Seeberger, a senior advisor at the Center for American Progress Action Fund, told Axios.

• Protasiewicz's victory in Wisconsin shows that "when the American people's fundamental rights are at stake, they really show up resoundingly," Seeberger said.

• Seeberger added that he was "really heartened by just the breadth of the victory."

Abortion proved to be a salient issue in other races last year.

• In August 2022, Kansas voters rejected an anti-abortion constitutional amendment, the first time voters in the U.S. casted ballots on the issue following the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade.

Meanwhile, the results in Chicago were an "affirmation of how Democrats are approaching the issue of crime, which is that they are standing resolutely in support of both accountability and prevention," he added.

Zoom Out: The Midwest victories come after other local elections and legislation have highlighted fissions in the Democratic Party over issues including crime. Republicans have also looked to capitalize on what's been cast as a major wedge issue for Dems.

• A D.C. crime law that would've reduced maximum penalties for some violent crimes entered the national spotlight when it was overturned by Congress and President Biden.

• Last year, San Francisco residents voted to recall progressive District Attorney Chesa Boudin in a divisive election that motivated further party discussion on criminal justice reform.

• New York City's 2021 mayoral election dealt a major blow to progressives with the Democratic primary win of now-Mayor Eric Adams, a moderate who promised to be tough on crime.

The Backdrop: The elections came the same day former President Trump turned himself in and was arraigned following a historic indictment in a hush-money case. He pled not guilty to 34 counts of falsifying business records.

• The sharp contrast between the public spectacle of Trump's arrest and Biden's relatively calm day evoked the split-screen of the 2020 election.

• Voters ultimately backed Biden's return-to-normalcy campaign — and the White House hopes they will again in 2024, should he face Trump in a historic rematch.

Go Deeper:

• House Dems curb their enthusiasm on Trump arrest

• House Dems target Trump districts for ambitious 2024 push

[ladyelain]

lucien stans made a lot of us dislike him because a lot of his stans with well known accounts talk sh*t about feyre frequently because of their distraught friendship and history. i loved lucien until i read what his stans (who some also stan tamlin) had to say about feyre due to their issues in acowar and acofas. lucien is quite babied in this fandom and constantly victimize him when it comes to his friendship with feyre and how it’s always “she could’ve” instead of “he should’ve” they both made mistakes but out of the two if i’m really going to judge lucien disappointed me more in their friendship and then he was surprised she didn’t favor him the way she used to when he already proved that he’s rarely put her first. he even feels worse about spring falling than about what happened to both of them when they were there. they were having growth after acowar and he took 10 steps back by throwing her taking down spring in her face after she’s already expressed remorse for what happened to the people there when hybern ruined their homes.

First off, I’m not a fan of using Eluciens/Elriels/Gwynriels or even Lucien stans as generic terms for everybody and their mother when it comes to explicit, opinionated discourses around one character or ship.

It’s exactly what made the fandom so overly sensitive about everything in the first place. We keep blaming individuals for things they’ve literally never said, sometimes not even heard of. I mean, imagine being called an Elain stan because you like Elain… It’s the last group I’d want to be associated with in this fandom lol.

Just like I don’t identify at all with the whole pinning Feyre up against Lucien. Especially not Feyre and Lucien. They’re my babies and if I am babying them rn, then so be it. Not to defend myself here, I just feel like pointing out I’ve made posts trying to explain Feyre’s perspective and why she’s totally right having negative associations connected to Lucien. Though I am aware people are throwing shade at Feyre, using the points you made above.

Lucien and Feyre’s friendship failed for several reasons, the main thing being miscommunication which lead to mistrust. Not because they had nothing to address to the other, but because the circumstances didn’t allow for them to open up. It’s debatable whether they just gave up on each other after the war because they both found their people, or whether they need time and space still. Either way is totally valid.

I always try to put everything in perspective and context, and to me, Feyre and Lucien’s outfall in acofas seemed absolutely realistic. Their awkward behaviour also feels reasonable after everything they’ve been through. It’s nothing that couldn’t ever be fixed though. When Elucien happens, there will also be a Feycien comeback, I’m convinced. Their dialogues are just too iconic to not bring them back.

Feyre receives so much hate that isn’t even about Lucien because she seems to be in a better place than everybody else and that’s usually something people get bored of and eventually mad about. Honestly, in acofas she could have been the bigger person. Bringing up the Band of Exiles was a low blow. She made fun of them because she obviously feels betrayed and doesn’t quite understand where their friendship came from. Feyre wants everyone around her happy, yet there’s only so much she can do. Sometimes she’s just too much of a busybody.

[tsukikoayanosuke]

Behind the Fic: TW:OPT - Chapter 157-162

The second part of Proposal of Destiny Arc is here! First and last triple update!

WARNING: This will contain a bit of spoiler for the newest chapters of my fan fiction Twisted-Wonderland: Our Precious Treasure.

Let's start by talking about why I chose to adapt Ghost Marriage. Looking back to the post where I decided to make everything into one year, Ghost Marriage was supposed to be a companion arc with Welcome to the Villains’ World. Timeline wise back in that very early post, Ghost Marriage was the only one so far that we don't have a clear cut when it happened. All we know is that it happened after Heartslabyul Arc just looking at Ace and Riddle's civil interactions. Because of this unclearness, I feel comfortable adapting it this early.

Chapter 157: And All of Her Friends will Work Together

The title for this and the next chapter is taken from the lyrics of The Wedding Song from Corpse Bride

Welcome to the point where I yell at Azul "I know you're simping at Jonah but please don't be redundant".

Look, I love Azul simping on Jonah as much as the next guy, but there will be the point where I'll ask "Is this too much"

I'm actually worried about how I will write Azul in the future. Unlike Riddle, who still has a lot to grow (as seen in the next few chapters), I feel like Azul's main emotional conflict is done. My biggest worry is I'll be accidentally reducing Azul into the love interest who has nothing to do outside of Jonah. I'll try to figure it out in the future but right now, his main mission is to save Jonah.

Speaking of saving the groom, I think by this point everyone knows that we're going to have a major divergence in the second half of this arc. I feel like if Yuu/MC is in trouble, more people will be onboard in saving them, since they're more involved with more characters, unlike Idia.

Honestly, I really like writing the tiny things, like for a second Kalim is the one being level-headed and Jamil understands Azul's position. And the many chaos attempts, obviously.

At this point, Riddle was the only one who hadn't let go of what Azul did in Octavinelle Arc. This will be addressed in a future chapter. But for now, we're stirring up an ancient drama once again. What is this? YouTube commentary channels drama?

The main inspiration for the plan is, as it's said, the short Goddess of Spring, the short that became a practice animation before Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Back when Ghost Marriage was very first run in the JP server in 2020, there were guesses on what is it based on (in a similar fashion as Fun and Fancy Free for Happy Beans Day). Some people suggested it might be the Goddess of Spring, which to an extent, was inspired by Hades and Persephone. Or Wikipedia said Proserpina and Pluto.

The three things Azul suggested as the groom's gift is based loosely on some scene from the short.

The "cake of an early spring" is inspired by Proserpina coming out from the Underworld and turning the world from winter to spring. The "crystal valued by the king" is inspired by the diamond Pluto given to Proserpina. The "waltz at the height of the wedding" is inspired by the song and dance Pluto's imps are doing after Proserpina is taken to the Underworld.

At this point, I realized I had an issue with the timeline in this arc. This arc technically only lasted one day in canon, but I think I had a problem with how long the plan would take.

Chapter 158: To Make It the Perfect Day She's Always Dreamed

This episode is in a similar manner to some of my filler arcs which is a collection of short with very vague connections. This time, it was the view of love from different characters' views. For Ruggie and Deuce, this is more familial love, while for Azul and Jamil, this is more romantic love.

How they were partner-ups was based on some of the cards. Ruggie paired up with Malleus is a reference to the Masterchef event. Deuce with Silver is from his Starsending Robes story. The light music club is pretty obvious. And Jamil being a singer is a call for his future NRC-Tribe main singer position.

Okay, to clarify. At the point of writing this, I decided to follow my headcanon of the family of other characters, in this case, Ruggie and Deuce. And those headcanons were made a long time ago, way before the birthday cards were ever launched. In his Birthday Boy card, it was said that his mom died during childbirth while his dad went to buy milk went to work, and never return so he was taken care of by his grandma. In my fic, Ruggie was a child his abusive mother didn't want while his dad died from overworking. Deuce's backstory was more simple to build on: his mother and father were in an arranged marriage but then got divorced from household abuse.

The reason why Ruggie and Deuce were talking about family love is because I just feel like there isn't that much talk about it. Deuce and his love for his mother is one of his greatest strengths, so we need to mention it at least once in the fic. For Ruggie, I mostly just because I feel like it because I like to explore my own headcanon.

More headcanon, Valley of Thorn is an old-timey kingdom. Guillotine still exists there. Malleus, while might understand technology, might also not understand that much of human custom because he's a sheltered prince. Just not that innocent. He's just a bit confused.

Malleus vs cake. The battle of the century.

Oh, the Chantilly cake recipe I based it on here.

Return to the Dwarfs' Mine. This can be a call back to the Prologue or a reference to Camp Vargas.

Now, let's talk about Kalim and Jamil. I ship them. I still do. However, at this point in the fic, I feel like I'm not ready to pair them up again, especially fresh from Kalim Disappearance Arc. Yes, they've forgiven each other however that doesn't mean they're healing just yet. Both of them still has a broken heart, they still need to change.

I think Jamil's POV of this chapter is the most different. I think this is the first thing I wrote for this chapter. So I think that's why it more focuses on Jamil's view of changes rather than love.

But you can count Kalim's changing love as well. Mind you, Kalim is still in love with Jamil. He accepted that Jamil won't return his feeling so this is a one-sided crush. Whether or not Kalim or Jamil will fully mend their bond, Kalim is still in his breakup era. So, until then, I can't pair them up just yet.

A Shrek reference here. Remember, this will be important.

Oh, and Lilia's power to make a space for them to practice, is built in similarly to what Malleus did in the Endless Halloween event. I'm actually gonna use this more, especially in Jonah's rewritten backstory.

We see more of Chubby being protective of Eliza here.

At this point, I do hold on to Chubby and Eliza being childhood friends to lovers, especially after I changed a lot about Eliza's backstory.

Originally, this was supposed to be Chubby's POV with his own flashback. However, it didn't flow well so I changed it to Azul's POV. His flashback will appear in a future chapter.

The whole idea of the Surprise Proposal, while also taken from the actual Ghost Marriage event, is actually more in line with the Project Sekai event called A Song Of Vows For You, Dressed In White! There the bride planned to have a fake objection scene as proof that the groom is the most loyal to her, almost similar to the Ghost Marriage event.

Also, we still keep Idia bitching about the failed rescue attempt because it's just too funny to be left out.

Chapter 159: The Courtship Tactics

This chapter is an adaptation of the Ghost Marriage event story and the Suitor Suit story of Riddle with some mentions of Rook (in the first half with the poem) and Epel (in the second half with the borrowing horse).

I'm actually pretty torn when adapting Riddle's story. The thing is I really Riddle and Malleus' interaction in that card, but in the fic, Malleus was nowhere near Riddle because he was baking cake with Ruggie. That was when I decided to have Crowley interact with Riddle instead. Because I need more Bird Dad agenda.

This is where I started to play around with Riddle. And I realized "man, Azul had it rough" XD. Here's the thing. In the fic, everyone made an attempt to do something to make up post-overblot. This includes Riddle and Azul. However, how come Azul getting more backlash compared to Riddle?

This is where I started to get worried as well. Because, in the center, there was Jonah. Back in Heartslabyul Arc, Jonah was not the center of attention, Ace was. Jonah was the side character. However, in Octavinelle Arc, he was the main player, but this time he had more friends, thus Azul getting a heavier judgment.

I guess because Heartslabyul Arc was more about Riddle and Ace that they can solve their issue quickly, and you can say that for Octavinelle Arc as well. But maybe the time spent with them and all of them getting closer can also be a factor. Well, the one that held the biggest grudge were Ace, Deuce, and Grim, with Riddle added post-Heartslabyul Arc.

Honestly, my biggest worry is making Jonah the center of the problem, which unfortunately I'll continue because of Ramshackle Arc. But hopefully, I can maneuver it better.

At this point of writing, Crowley had his own canon-diverged backstory, and his motivation maybe different from canon, thus this might seem OOC of him, I can admit that.

Now, let's talk about Crowley and Riddle's talk. I'm sure not all of you have the same view of forgiveness and second chances. Because I wrote this based on my beliefs as well. My biggest worry is making this sound like preaching and doesn't sound like I'm guilt-tripping Riddle.

I do really like writing Riddle's growth here.

Chapter 160: I Need a Hero

The title is obviously taken from I Need a Hero. This chapter specifically is based on the Shrek 2 climax.

I remember back then people would often joke about how the Ghost Marriage finale should be like Shrek 2. Well, I'm riding the trend and made it like that.

The first part didn't change much. It only started in the second part with the rescue.

I was trying to think what else should I do with the rest of the rescue squad, so I decided to give them a role in the dance, especially Ruggie and his unique magic.

Originally I wanted to have Epel using his unique magic in this chapter, however, I looked up again and found out that Rook helped a lot in Epel awakening it, so I decided not to write it.

There’s also a brief Epel’s Suitor Suit story moment.

The chapter ending with Ace screaming is reminiscent of the end of chapter 130 in which Ace saved Jonah from falling in the Scarabia overblot battle.

Chapter 161: So Say the World's Being Turned Against You

The title of this chapter and the next is the English lyrics of Ai no Scenario sung by JubyPhonic

This chapter, believe it or not, went through some changes.

Firstly, originally this chapter was going to be a battle between the Chubby and the Suitor Suit team similar to canon. This includes rolling everyone away like a log.

(Actually, sometimes I forgot there are other people here XD)

But, for some reason, I didn't write that. I think it was because of both Chubby and Eliza's backstory changes, the rest of the comedic nature of the finale was erased. Leaving us with a more somber finale.

The next was the dialogue. While most followed canon, I kinda tone down Ace's rudeness. Because, again, thanks to the changed backstory, Eliza's position is now as a victim of an unhappy marriage. Thus, Ace screaming that Eliza should just move on sounded way too cruel even to Ace's standard.

With that, Rook and Riddle had extra dialogue. Hammering own on Rook because, you know, he's the love expert, so, of course, he's allowed to give his words.

Now... *deep breath* Chubby's confession. Whoo-boy... It is actually based on the (inappropriate) confession scene from Mo Dao Zu Shi. I can't give the manhua because of the Everyday means Everyday chapter, but I can lead to the audiobook version. Listen. I had that danmei stuck in my head. It changed my life. I will make a reference whenever I can.

This is followed by the flashback scene. Now this flashback scene was kinda iffy because I think this is the only flashback that I can technically count as 'tell not show' (as in usually just narration) that has dialogues. Usually, my flashback is in italics with the exception of Eliza's retelling. Chubby's flashback counted more like flashes. So, I'm explaining in a weird way: my usual flashback is colored scenes with faded borders, Eliza's flashback is just a full-on OVA, while Chubby's flashback ran behind him like a grainy movie. Does this make sense...?

The flashback itself has a bit of inspiration from Daughter of White by mothy. Originally this was going to be a full Ai no Scenario, but I was like “Tsuki. You did Ai no Scenario before. Be creative.” So, Daughter of White was chosen. But also, the main reason why this flashback exists is really just to show Chubby’s puppy love crush. Knowing they are leagues away, I kinda want a scene that will establish their dynamic along with a reason why Chubby would be very devoted to Eliza. Thus, the tree scene is written.

Originally the flashback scene was supposed to be longer, perhaps retelling Eliza’s flashback from Chubby's point of view. But, perhaps from tiredness or I just didn’t know what else to add or I thought it would be way too long, this is the end result instead.

And because of this heavy change in pace, the battle with giant Chubby is cut completely for a fluffier ending because Eliza and Chubby deserve it!

Chapter 162: You'll Always Be by My Side

Despite being the last chapter of the arc, this is actually the first chapter I've ever written during this triple update.

More specifically, the funny process in writing this was I was writing backward. I started with the JonAzul scene before going back to Idia's best-man speech. And then to RiZul dance before finally finishing the flower boy talk.

The JonAzul talk was actually written way before I started this triple update.

The scenes in this chapter are mostly around Ace and Jonah's Suitor Suit card.

Like the previous chapter, there are some changes in the scene.

Originally, there was supposed to be more talk about Ace's past girlfriend between Ace and Deuce during their dance and maybe a slight hint of their crushes. However, I feel like it would be redundant, so ADeuce talk was cut off.

Riddle was supposed to talk about his fiance when Ace or Epel mentioned being betrothed. But that scene was also cut.

Rook's talk meanwhile was an addition. It was also a Mo Dao Zu Shi reference to two couples. Rook's parents were inspired by the relationship between Lang Wangji and Wei Wuxain, while Rook's grandparents were inspired by Qingheng-Jun and Madam Lan.

Rook also said that his family only love once. This is also a well-known Mo Dao Zu Shi fanon term of "Lans only fall in love once". But I feel like someone as romantic as Rook would believe in a soulmate.

Originally, during the walking down the aisle scene, Chubby was supposed to have his flashback sequence. But I ended up moving it to the previous chapter.

So with the flashback moved, we left with an empty sequence. But I was like "Hey, remember that wedding scene from Crazy Rich Asian? what if Jamil sings again?" And thus, another musical number.

The vow said by Chubby and Eliza was actually from Happy Sugar Life. Though I'm warning you about the maybe uncomfortable scene because this is the only scene I can find so far that had the full vow.

More Idia shitting on others during his best man speech. But we love him for that.

The second half of this chapter is fully in Azul's POV despite shifting slightly to Jonah/Jade's POV in the middle.

Originally, during Riddle and Azul's dance, it was supposed to be in Riddle's POV. However, I thought it would flow better if everything happened in a single take in Azul's POV.

However, it didn't lessen Riddle's arc of closure. The path to growth starts with admitting one's mistakes.

(Can you tell I really like writing about Riddle's growth?)

This leads us to our last JonAzul moment of the fic. Riddle joining Jonah and Azul's hand doesn't mean he would stop crushing on Jonah, it's just he trusts Azul again to take care of Jonah along with him.

Well, if Azul got a lot of shovel-talk, Jonah deserves one as well from Jade.

Jonah and Azul's talk was pretty straightforward, mostly around the reincarnation stuff.

And the last part... Woo-boy... I was very gushy when writing it. I was like squealing to my brother whether I want a full-on kiss or not. Because while Azul had admitted multiple times, and this is Azul's POV, it feels like this is not the time for a full kiss mainly because Jonah hasn't made clear his feeling. So we ended up with two kisses instead; on the hand and on the forehead.

The kiss on the forehead is a call back to the ending of Azul's memory maze.

[lucerocosplay]

Pattern Review: 1950's Merry Widow Corset-Corselet by Historical Atelier

Remember last July when I was knee deep in bunny suit fever? Well when researching for interlining layers I found this cute pattern by Historial Atelier on etsy and just knew I needed to make it. The fabric pieces had been cut and sitting in a ziplock for over a year, but with the way it came out I would say it was worth the wait!

To address the obvious elephant in the room, my display form does not fit the garment. She is lacking in the bust and hip department severely. So major fabric buckles and wrinkles I ask that you take with a large grain of salt. I haven't had the time to pad out my form or the means to buy one pre-fab close to my size.

Construction:

The merry widow uses a combination of stretch and non-stretch mesh panels. As per recommendation I went a basic power mesh for the stretch panels and a corset mesh for the non-stretch. I also added an overlay of the cutest flocked heart mesh over the corset mesh. Everything was sewn with french seams and then channels created using corset boning casing in black. The cups were made with bra foam and stretch black satin, the interior seams zig-zag stitched and again covered with boning casing for a clean finish. Underbust wire was salvadged from an old bra that fit great but died in the great laundry war of 2018. The waist tape was just 1" wide red grosgrain ribbon but petersham would have be more suitable for something like this. And I used steel spring boning from my favorite supplier Bias Bespoke.

Pattern Thoughts:

Overall I really liked the cut and fit of the garment. There is no included allowance so it is up to the maker to decide construction seam of choice and in turn needed allowance. In that way I really appreciated the consideration for the sewist. Throughout the course of construction I had no real issue with pieces fitting or ease in the cups to bodice panels not lining up. However, I thought the written directions having you insert and close the boning channels prior to sewing in the cups and installing the underwire was more difficult than it needed to be so I did this step in reverse. The channels were sewn and one end closed when the but was assembled, then inserted bones and closed ends prior to finishing the raw edge in picot elastic. The waist tape was also a little stressful since having to fit the tape to my waistline and hand baste over the seams caused some bubbling. So finding the right tension without pulling on the stretch panels took a lot of time. Though I am not sure if that is entirely on the garment or due to ribbon choice, petersham would have laid more flush to the garment and I suspect would have made this step easier. The hemming process of adding picot elastic from stretch to non-stretch panels and back again was also a bit of a headache. You do need to pull slightly on the stretch panels to have them grip and remain taught over your form but not enough to wear it puckers. Finding this balance in tension and then matching it on both sides was difficult for me, but it turn out ok in the end. However, after turning it into itself and stitching one more time then cause the stretch panels to want to flip. So, after everything was done I did need to do a little herringbone hand stitching about 1" on either side of the boning channels of the stretch panels to stop this from happening. I am still not exactly sure why that was happening, if it's a consequence of what I thought was ideal tension or if I overstretch while top stitching. Maybe some secret 3rd thing ^^; The one big caveat I have with this pattern is unfortunately sizing. While this was a perfect fit for me, the actual size window is extremely narrow. If you don't fall within it the stretch panels can only accommodate so much. Heaven forbid you were a size 12+ then you are likely to need to re-draft the entire garment. However this critique isn't so much on the pattern drafter but on the circumstances around making such a pattern. The pattern seems to directly reference a Warners Cinch Bra from the 1950's so yes, sizing was very different and what they are able to replicate off of that base is a single sized pattern. And while yes, the average sewist can likely adjust torso length and minor width adjustments, this still leaves a lot of folks with a pattern they can't really use without a great deal of drafting amendments. In which case you would save money but simply drafting it from scratch yourself. Really, the sizing is my only issue with this pattern, and the drafter themself takes great care in mentioning it upfront and being very honest about it's limitations. Her recommended fabrics, construction notes, and sources I found to be easy to follow and very clear. If you fall within the provided pattern sizing and are looking to make a more approachable foundational garment or for fun lingerie piece I would absolutely recommend this pattern. I give this pattern a solid ★★★★☆

[hislittleraincloud]

If you scroll far back enough to October 2023, you can see her reposts and where she stands.

I know you’re not a Percy fan, but this circles back to him and how people tore apart his alt account (that didn’t even have his actual name attached to it). Where are those people for this person? Since they love holding people accountable for their actions and words. The hypocrisy is insane.

Don't need to scroll back that far to be able to tell that she's a Zionist. One of those mealy-mouthed ones who say (and repost, like she did) stuff like this: "As an Israeli and a Jew, I want innocent Palestinians to have every freedom and dignity possible. But I will never accept anyone telling me Palestinian rights should or can be grabbed through mass murdering Jews." as if Israel hasn't been continuously fucking the Palestinians for decades since its inception (and is fucking it now, with 42,000 Palestinian casualties vs. 1,700 Israeli casualties).

I was far too old when I dove into the history of the region, but I did, after Rachel Corrie's death. While I studied some International Relations, Middle East/Gaza conflict escaped my modules, so I caught up after she was bulldozed by the IDF.

The war did not start on October 7, 2023, but people like to pretend that it did. It's never too late to learn about the atrocities, not just towards Palestinians. My Jewish friend/neighbor had no clue that Israeli officials admitted to giving birth control to Jewish Ethiopian (read: Black) migrants without their consent until I informed her of said fucked up fact this past spring. There's a lot of shitty things that state has done, and criticizing it should not be equated with anti-Semitism.

But back to Alpert herself. What exactly can those vicious little Wenclairs do? You know they're gonna watch W2 regardless (as will I...just to see how shitty it turns out to be, since it's really Millar & Gough's show and they don't know how to tighten up their stories). Alpert probably stayed on the team as both writer and EP; can't say that for certain, but given the nominations the show received (the bar really is very low*), I'd want to stay on as well.

*The bar is very, very low given their win for this:

when the special effects makeup for Wednesday and Thornhill/Gates at the end of the episode was utterly fucked and incongruous.

What will people do? They don't really give a fuck what their creators think or do, so long as there's an opportunity to virtue signal on an issue that makes them believe themselves to be free of moral blemishes, and it's created an atmosphere of vigilante discourse, where everyone's afraid to say any goddamn thing in fear of being canceled.

As for White, I don't think I said I wasn't a fan, I said I'm not a stan. I don't think I've even had the opportunity to become a White fan because I've only seen his work in Wednesday. Really want to see that craptastic romcom he made with Ortega, and My Old Ass.

To address the other shit, I simply cannot say anything either way, since one of the main defense articles I was sent was full of broken links to the accusers' accounts/deleted tweets (and the spam that Isis bombarded me with was irrelevant and nonsensical shit, save for her insistence on sending me the nudes and not comprehending what in fuck I was trying to tell her in her own native fucking language; escrevo um português muito básico, mas ela estava a responder como alguém gravemente subdesenvolvido neurologico 💀).

He was accused of some heinous shit, and as of today, October 8, 2024, there hasn't been a whisper or word that any cases are going forward with prosecution, or that these accusers are even standing their ground. Trump's accusers have always stood their ground. Weinstein's, Epstein's. Not a tweet or article rescinded or deleted. Hynes White isn't and has never been some kind of power player (despite being a nepo baby) in the industry and those girls have little to fear by standing their ground, especially when fucking Danny Masterson had the whole of $cientology and half of Hollywood supporting his shitty ass and he still got 30 to life because his accusers stood their ground.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable for asking for the truth of the accusations; not just whether or not he did anything that they said he did, but also whether or not they were just plain false. False allegations are always fucking bullshit, no matter who makes them and for whatever reasons. Firing someone because of false allegations is also bullshit (we saw that happen with Depp), and if they were indeed false, then the whole of Netflix and the Wednesday crew would owe White a huge apology...not that that would ever happen (the WB & Disney have yet to apologize to Depp, and the recast of Grindelwald was terrible).

Anyway. I feel like this kid was cast due in part to his type-similarity to White

(same height as White, lanky, pale, same weird, recessed eyes/slightly sunken in look) because you know that the non-chronically online people are going to be tuning in expecting to see Percy as Xavier but then they'll see this guy and be all, "Wait...is that supposed to be the kid from the last season? Why's he look different (and more attractive)..." and then when they realize that he's a whole different character they might wonder what happened (and Google for answers). This has been a thing in lots of shows, lots of soap operas in particular, and I feel like this is happening with W2. Shake up the cast, distract with whole ass non-continuity, et voilà...the audience is dumb and won't notice, right.

Honestly, I wish that it had just been a straight-on recast, because if Painter was the new Xavier, I'd go strong for Wavier again. He's much more attractive than White and Doohan.

Damn, that was a ramble. I did mention that it's hot in here and I can hardly think.

[jcmarchi]

Liberty Ladd: Going above and beyond

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/liberty-ladd-going-above-and-beyond/

Liberty Ladd: Going above and beyond

Liberty Ladd has been drawn to public service and fighting injustice from a young age. At 15, as a student representative from the first congressional district of Maine, she testified to the state board of education about unfair grading policies at her school. Later, she decided to join the Air Force, with the understanding that military experience would put her on a path to ultimately making a difference on issues such as voting rights and services for U.S. veterans.

With her interest in politics — policymaking in particular — Ladd knew she wanted to study political science entering MIT. Also wanting a double major in a STEM field, she selected mechanical engineering. Ladd expects to graduate in the spring with bachelor’s and master’s degrees in political science and a bachelor’s in mechanical engineering, and has participated in the Air Force ROTC throughout her time at MIT.

Following graduation, Ladd will serve in the United States Space Force for a minimum of five years. Ladd hopes to be a positive force in shaping the new military branch to avoid inequalities faced in other older branches. She says she will stay as long as she feels she can make an impact, but she eventually wants a career in policymaking.

MIT News interviewed Ladd to learn more about her life as a student.

Q: What are your communities on campus?

A: I’m on the varsity field hockey team. Sophomore year, Covid sent us all home, so we got one extra year of eligibility. I was here for my master’s, so I figured I’d play one more year. It’s been a really fantastic support network on and off the field. Some of my closest friends are on the team.

I’m in the United States Space Force and I am in the Air Force ROTC Reserve Officer Training Corps program through MIT. Through ROTC on campus, I was the vice commander of our wing, where I was in charge of the operational and logistical operations of our training program.

I used to be on the MIT Mock Trial team, which I joined because I wanted to be a lawyer — or used to want to be a lawyer. I stayed because the team is just super fun, and we’re all really close now.

Q: What responsibilities does ROTC at MIT entail?

A: Freshman and sophomore year, you’re learning what the military is and what it does. The juniors and seniors are responsible for crafting the curriculum to prepare the underclassmen to go to field training and graduate. So, what that looks like is a lab for two hours every week, and then you have two physical training sessions a week in the mornings, and you also have Air Force or aerospace studies. Then you go to field training the summer after your sophomore year. When you come back it’s the same two-hour lab, the two hours of PT [physical fitness] a week, and then also a three-hour class. 

Q: When did your journey in the military start?

A: I discovered that ROTC was a program my junior year of high school. After, I decided to serve. I didn’t know what the mechanisms were for getting there. Honestly, I didn’t even know what an officer was. But I [saw] the way that the United States treats our veterans. It’s inhumane: We’ve got mental health crises, homelessness crises with our veterans, and seeing the lack of effectiveness from policies that were set out as solutions got me thinking that I wanted to make a difference in that.

But I also knew that if I ever wanted to make policies that would help to address those crises, no one would listen to me if I had never served. So, that was my initial motivation for serving. I also knew that serving my country was something that would allow me to make a big impact at a young age.

And then I also started to learn about some of the inequities within the military, both when it comes to treatment of women and minorities, and institutionally. We’ve got a certain percentage of our members living on SNAP programs while they’re serving the military. They’re focused on trying to figure out ways to keep food on their family’s table while also putting their lives on the line for our freedom and safety. These are things that I think are untenable, but I wouldn’t be able to fix unless I was in there to kind of work within the system to make those changes.

Q: What inspires you to take on such large institutions?

A: It stems from hating to see the wrong thing being done, or people being treated poorly. Whether it be because of my political privilege of attending MIT or being a white woman, if there’s a situation where I sense that I have some sort of privilege, it feels like my responsibility to do something because I have the option of being okay when some of my peers don’t.

Q: Why pursue a second major in mechanical engineering?

A: Effective policymakers can’t afford to be ignorant about the science and technology advances that drive our society. Engineering design is an unusual but helpful background to have when making intentional, effective policy decisions.

Q: Have you encountered any situations recently in which you felt motivated to take action?

A: The big one that jumps to mind is what happened to my peers in ROTC our sophomore year. The Air Force decided to cut people in the program who were in my class, and they cut practically 50 percent. From my peers’ perspectives, they were losing opportunities to be an officer in the Air Force and some of them were losing their opportunity to go to college at all. I felt incredibly helpless.

Our regional commander happened to be in the area and was going to have lunch with some of the cadets. And I was like, “Perfect, I’m going to show him why the way that they were choosing which cadets got to stay was untenable, unfair, and hurting the needs of the Air Force.” Did that change his mind? I don’t know. But fortunately, the Air Force did change course: While not all my peers were allowed to rejoin, a large majority were. It’s the first experience that I had with how frigid the bureaucracy can be toward the people it’s supposed to be protecting. But it also made me realize that working within the system, I can make change as well.

Q: What would your 5-year-old self say to you today?

A: What’s field hockey? What’s an engineer? She would probably wonder why I wear so much pink and wear so many dresses. Five-year-old Liberty wanted to be as strong and tough and smart as the boys. I rejected everything stereotypically feminine. What society told me was that weak was feminine. I would tell her: You can be just as strong as the guys you meet and just as smart, and you can wear a pink pantsuit. I promise you; it will be okay.

[shihalyfie]

Hello! Since you seem to be getting a lot of character comparison asks, I figured I’d ask if you have any thoughts on the similarities and differences between Ken and Koichi, and also their relationship with darkness? At first glance they seem very similar but I feel the way they view darkness- and perhaps the darker parts of themselves- differs quite a bit.

The two of them definitely have similar base profiles at first, but start to really veer off in different directions after that!

I think the one thing that's most different between the two is that, quite simply, their "base personalities" -- that is, how they act in normal situations separated from all the stuff going on with Digimon fighting -- are actually fairly different to begin with. One thing that might surprise people is that Kouichi actually uses the more assertive/aggressive pronoun ore, contrary to what his supposedly “shy” personality might suggest (of the Frontier boys, only Tomoki uses the more polite boku, and I think it’s in line with Frontier generally portraying its kids as less naturally well-behaved and a bit more misfit). Kouichi’s “shyness” in Frontier is really implied to just be out of the circumstances of him being a bit awkward around the kids he’d been fighting for a period, and especially not sure how to approach Kouji, but Things I Want to Tell You implies that he’d actually had a full-on social friend circle (mentioning friends at school and playing soccer). The only part that made him “out of place” like the other Frontier kids was really the part right before the series, when he learned he’d had a brother, had to question what that implied, started fostering feelings of jealousy towards him, and ended up “passed over” for being chosen instead of how Kouji was, but for the most part his personality doesn’t seem to be that fundamentally different from Kouji’s (there's a point made in a scene in Frontier episode 40 where the twins are looking at Takuya with nearly the exact same expression).

Ken, on the other hand, does use the polite pronoun boku, and although he’s still a fairly casual person (his speech pattern is slightly more casual than Takeru’s), he is kind of...a polite nerd, for lack of a better way to put it. That penchant for intellectuality wasn’t entirely the Dark Seed’s doing -- he’s gone on infamous “trivial fact” spiels like about the origin of Christmas or Japanese hot springs. In contrast to the more easygoing Daisuke, he takes things really seriously, and one could describe him as “so overly serious about things he sometimes rolls into stupid”. He’s also rather tidy (he puts his chopsticks neatly on the bowl when eating, his Digital World outfit is his school uniform, he’s constantly tucking in both his summer and winter blouses, and even his Kizuna outfits are slightly formal), and because he does seem to carry himself softly, he has a stronger image of being a “nice and polite person” who doesn’t act roughly by default. Less so because he can’t be rough or aggressive, but more because he doesn’t want to be -- you can think of him as basically holding back his cards until the time is right or stronger force is called for (meaning he can seem mild-mannered, until he suddenly drops some sassy zingers right when you least expect it).

There are some similarities that go beyond their base profiles; it’s interesting how “jealousy” seems to be part of both of their initial motivations (and, in an interesting meta twist, one of the original ideas for Ken and Osamu was for them to be twins). However, as you said, they have a somewhat differing attitude in terms of what “darkness” is, and a lot of it has to do with a combination of what that even means in Adventure/02′s narrative versus Frontier’s, and what that meant to each of them personally. Ken had an outright self-inflicted identity crisis and an awareness that his fall came from his own personal vices, and the issue is casted in Adventure/02 as a problem of “balance”; Ken himself understands in 02 episode 23 that he has to accept everything in himself, and Takeru reminds him in 02 episode 37 that you can’t eradicate it entirely, but Ken of course retains an aversion to contexts where they’re obviously too much in excess. Kouichi, on the other hand, was probably not going to have a complete emotional meltdown to that degree had it not been for Cherubimon’s interference (although he still wasn’t necessarily having a great time), so being free from that influence means that, with his head cleared, he’s able to confidently deny going back there again and have faith in his ability to use it for good, especially because the part keeping it balanced -- his brother Kouji, as the light -- is able to be there and fight alongside him. His problem was addressed by learning to work alongside and get to know said brother, instead of living in jealousy of him.

It’s also interesting to see how their future plans end up going, since we now have “distant future” canon material for both 02 and Frontier; Ken had “expectations” put on him to the point it practically ripped him apart and gave him an outright identity crisis, so his future involves him allowing himself to not have to live to expectations nearly as much; by the time of Kizuna, he’s still dabbling in soccer and various hobbies and being chaotic with his friends, his “psychology” degree is not even mentioned anywhere except in his official profiles because of how much it’s a comparative non-issue in his life at the moment, and while he’s certainly still selfless, he’s still at the point where being able to just enjoy life as it is at all is a big deal. Even if he hasn’t found a goal in life to completely commit to yet, at the very least, he has the other members of the 02 group to support him, and it’s still important that he’s dedicating his efforts to supporting them in turn. Kouichi, on the other hand, didn’t have to worry about that kind of identity crisis, but he did have to worry about seeing his mother’s selfless streak meaning she was constantly ruining her health for others -- so, having taken on some of that selflessness, he’s decided to single-mindedly pursue a dream of going to medical school to help his mother. Keep in mind that he arguably has an even higher hurdle than our other single-minded prospective doctor, Kido Jou, because unlike the Kido family’s existing esteemed line, Kouichi’s not-exactly-well-to-do background means he’d had to scrounge up funds by being a paper boy while he was at it -- so that’s a pretty big uphill battle he’s taking, but he’s doing it because he knows that’s what he wants, and he also has his brother properly keeping up with him, and in touch with both him and his family situation.

[shysneeze]

i’m in love with you (george weasley x fem!reader)

I’m in Love With You 

Post War George Weasley x Fem!Reader

Request:  Okay idk if you’d be up to it but I’m currently obsessed w the song Please Notice by Christian Leave and so I was thinking a George weasley x reader fic inspired by/based off of/same kinda vibe imagine. Do you understand that lol I feel like I said it in a confusing way, crossing my fingers that you’re pickin up what I’m putting down. Lol ily bye. ~ anon

Warning: angsty (but fluff I promise this time), self-doubt etc...

Authors note: this is a cliché, but it’s one you can pry from my cold dead hands

.

George has never been a huge fan of silence, it’s not something he’s ever been used to, growing up in a house full of the constant noise of familial ruckus, and so weekends without Fred such as this are something that’s always made him feel ever so slightly uneasy, listening only to the repetitive patter of rain on the windows and static whirring of a record he’s gotten too distracted to flip spinning idly in the corner.

The creak of his bedroom door opening is a welcome sound, followed by the gentle shuffle of light footsteps along the corridor before she appears before him, a much healthier and warmer version of herself, nothing like the teary-eyed (Y/N) (Y/L/N) he pulled from his doorstep and out of the rain only ten minutes previous.

“Hey.” She gives a sheepish wave.  

Years as best friends should prepare him for the sight of her in his clothes, borrowed jumpers and stolen socks such a pivotal part of their friendship back in Hogwarts that he shouldn’t be startled by how gorgeous she looks in them, but he always  is.

“Hey.” He manages a kind smile. “Any warmer?”

The subtle drop of her gaze to the floor warns him that she’s about to tell him a white-lie and his eyes cling to the way her hands still tremble with the cold. Then, just as he’s predicted, she gives him an unconvincing ‘yep’.

It wasn’t how he was expecting his evening to go, he’d already surrender himself to an evening spent on the couch listening to his favourite songs when there was a knock on his door. The time and weather instantly led him to the assumption of bad news, and for all the outlandish theories and anxious assumptions he concocted on his way to the door, none involved his rain-soaked best friend shivering on his door step.

A sputtered apology was all she managed before he pulled her into his flat in a protective panic, fetching her a towel instantly and setting out a change of clothes with no request of an explanation for her visit, promising himself only to ask once he’s sure she doesn’t have hypothermia.

He’s still not one hundred percent on that part, giving her a knowing look as he crosses the space between them to push a cup of warm tea between her frozen fingers. Her shoulders slump in relief at the heat finding her hands, giving him a sheepish, but grateful smile.

“Now I’m warmer.” She assures honestly. “Thank you, Georgie.”

“Figured that might help.” He smiles gently. “Livingroom?”

She nods, mimicking his steps subconsciously as he follows him to from the kitchen to the sofa in the living room, pulling her knees up to her chest and cradling the mug on top of them as he takes a seat on the opposite end of the worn sofa with his legs stretched out across the cushions

She twiddles with the handle of her mug atop her knees, deep in thought as the room falls into silence. Silence with her is the only type George has ever found comforting, the reminder of afternoons spent in the Gryffindor common room, listening only the sound her flipping pages of her book and the crackling of the fire.

“Fred’s out?”

“A ‘couples weekend away’.” George nods. “Him and Angelina are somewhere up north for the anniversary of the first time they ate ice cream together or something daft like that.”

She chuckles softly, her smile summoning one similar to George’s lips. There is always a certain amount of pride in cheering her up, he’s realised, in bringing a smile to cheeks moments ago stained by tears.

“I’m happy for them though.” She adds softly, a sombre sound to her voice that has him on edge. “They’re a cute couple.”

“Insufferable at times.” George says. “But yes, cute.”

She exhales a quiet sigh, dropping her head tiredly to the cushion beside.

“I got stood up… again.”

He drops his shoulder in a display of sympathy, pushing down the initial aggressive protectiveness that dares him to ask for the name and address of the person stupid enough to ever hurt her. It’s clear from the forlorn look in her eyes that she needs someone to listen to her, not to avenge her.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N).” He says. “Whoever they were, they were an idiot.”

“Thanks, Georgie.” She says softly. “I just really needed a friend tonight so thank you.”

He tries to ignore how the word stings, ‘friend’. It’s a sting he’s been trying to ignore for years, it should be second nature by now, but it still stirs that feeling he hates, the one that makes him feel ungrateful, because being her friend should be enough.

He hates that it never has been.

It was what he assumed was a harmless crush at first, back at Hogwarts, one he was sure he would grow out of, no matter how many times Fred tried to tell him otherwise. Much to his dismay, Fred was right, and every year it got harder and harder to ignore, even after school.

By now, the word ‘crush’ doesn’t seem to cut it, too childish to possibly explain the irresistible torture that is his love for (Y/N) (Y/L/N). He’s not sure there is a word to describe such a feeling, the way it fills his heart with warmth but aches at the same time, an ache he’d happily experience forever just to be near her.

Now he pushes that sting deep down where he can barely notice it in order to deal with the issue at hand, the girl sat across from him with sad eyes and fallen smile.

“You can rant to me.” He assures. “I don’t mind.”

She takes a moment to give in to his offer encouraged by the sincerity in his warm brown eyes from across the sofa and the nudge to her feet from his. Biting her lip nervously and with a deep breath, she begins to explain.

“I’m not saying he was the love of my life or anything.” She disclaims. “It was only our second date, but it still hurt when he just... didn’t show up.”

“I can imagine.”

“I was just sat in that restaurant staring at the door waiting for this guy I knew deep down wasn’t going to show.” She explains. “He could have just called; told me he wasn’t interested, and it would have been less embarrassing.”

“Guys are idiots, Love.” George says. “Take it from a professional.”

She rolls her eyes lightly at the comment, ready to scold his self-deprecation when she seems to lose the momentum as quickly as she found it, instead sinking further back against the arm of the sofa with a huffed out breath.

“Is there something about me that people think doesn’t deserve an explanation?” Her voice wobbles. “Aren’t I worth that much?”

His heart breaks into what he’s sure are thousands of little pieces, his breath catching in his throat at the tears that spring to her eyes. He pulls his legs back and shuffles towards her end of the sofa as she hides her face behind her knees.

Gentle tugging the tea from her fingers, he places it on the coffee table before pushing her knees down, guiding her legs across his lap, squeezing her knee to urge her to look up and meet his eyes. She sniffles softly as she lifts her head, gulping at the softness in his warm brown eyes.

“You are worth so much more.” He explains. “I’m so sorry they made you feel like you weren’t.”

“I guess I just feel… unlovable.” She confesses.

Frustration forces itself out of his lungs in a long sigh, startling her slightly. It almost hurts to listen to her talk about herself, ‘unlovable’, as if he isn’t sat in front of her, undoubtedly in love with her. It’s not the first time he’s wished she would notice, where life would be so much easier if she could just look at him and see instantly how in love with her he is.

If only she could see how he blushes when he makes her laugh, how even in crowded rooms, he has only eyes for her and how, sometimes, despite his best efforts, he can’t help but fumble over his words when she talks to him.

“You’re not.” He shakes his head slowly. “Trust me.”

It’s a miniscule confession, one he doubts she’s going to pick up on until he can see something flicker across her eyes, realisation perhaps. It fades as quickly as it appeared, as though in only a millisecond she considered and dismissed the notion.

However, George has taken the first steps down a dangerous path, there is no going back no matter how fast the beating of his nervous heart.

“You’re the amazing, (Y/N).” He continues. “I hate that other people can’t see that, but I do.”

“George-“

“I’m in love with you, (Y/N).”

“George please…” She exhales shakily, desperately. “Please don’t tell me this if you don’t mean it, if you’re just trying to cheer me up- please, George.”

“I do mean it, (Y/N).” He assures frantically. “Merlin, (Y/N), I love everything about you, the way you sing under your breath when you think no one’s listening, how you mimic the facial expressions of the characters in books without even noticing you’re doing it, how you get the hiccups when you laugh too much- blood hell, (Y/N), you’re laugh is the most gorgeous sound in the world.”

He’s in love with every single one of her quirks and habits; the lucky penny she’s taken to every single one of his quidditch matches, the pressed flowers she uses as bookmarks, and her pockets that are always full of plasters and healing cream… He could get carried away with listing them all, he has to restrain himself from doing so, bringing himself back with a sigh.

“I’m in love with you, (Y/N).” He repeats in confirmation. “And I can’t stand to hear you doubt yourself over and over because of some idiots who don’t know how lucky they are to even be considered by you.”

The tears that trickle down her cheeks fill him instantly with panic, sure he’s ruined it all as she wipes frantically at her eyes. The room fills with silence again, though George can only hear the thumping of his own heart in his ears, drowning out the rain and the record still spinning pointlessly in the corner of the room.

He’s done exactly what he was afraid of; he’s let his feeling pull apart the friendship that should have been enough for him. This hurts more than the ache of loving her ever has, the wretched torture of rejection.

“I shouldn’t-“ He mumbles. “I shouldn’t have done that-“

“Do you know how often I have imagined you saying those words to me?”

Her voice is cracked, much how it was when he first opened the door to her this evening, with disbelieving edge to her voice. The pain in his chest untwists itself slowly, replaying the words over and over in his head, until he’s sure he’s imagined it.

“What?”

“I love you, George.” She confesses. “Every disastrous date I’ve ever been on has been in an attempt to pretend I don’t. but I do, I really do.”

“You love me?”

The words feel foreign in his mind, he’s never allowed himself to imagine it before, that she could ever possibly love him back. Yet here she is, sat on his couch and wearing his clothes, tell him that she does.

“Yes, George.” She gasps incredulously. “I do, and only in my daydreams have you ever loved me back.”

Warmth fills him slowly, then rushes in all at once as the words finally sink in and he’s able to convince himself he isn’t stuck in some daydream of his own. His grin spreads slowly up his cheeks, contagious as it is soon mimicked on her own teary cheeks.

“You love me.”

“Yes.” She lets out a breathy laugh.

“Bloody hell.”

Her head tips back in a hysterical burst of laughter.

“You can’t just say ‘Bloody hell’ after I’ve confessed my undying love!”

“You cried when I confessed mine!” He retorts, chest vibrating with a laugh of his own. “This is surreal.”

Laughter fading to a grin, she looks at him with a new found light, a twinkle he’s very quickly added to the never ending list of thing he loves about her.

“I can’t believe you love me.” She says softly.

He does something he’s only ever dreamt of before, reaching out with one hand and cupping her cheek, grazing his thumb gently over the map of stains from what he knows now, were happy tears. He can feel her skin warm beneath his touch and tries his best not to smirk, not wanting to ruin the moment.

“This can’t be real.” He whispers.

“I know.” She smiles softly in agreement. “It’s all too perfect.”

“Is it immoral for me to kiss you after you’ve just been stood up?”

She snorts quietly at the question, shaking her head in reassurance and curling her finger around a handful of his jumper, pulling him closer.

“I think I was meant to be stood up.” She admits. “As cliché as it might sound, it led me here.”

“You’re right.” He mumbles, lips inches from hers. “That is very soppy.”

“Oh, shut up and kiss me.”

He’s tugged into her lips in less than a second. It’s better than he’s ever allowed himself to imagine during those lonely evenings spent staring at his ceiling, it’s everything to him. She moves her lips with his eagerly, as if she would be happy to the spend the rest of her life with him in this moment.

She’s perfect, it’s a fact he’s known since they were seventeen, but never has it been more true than this moment, tangled together in a kiss they’ve both been longing for in secret for far too long. All this time he’s not been the only one with what felt like an unattainable crush, no the only one suffering the ache of a heart in love.

“You’re amazing.” He exhales against her lips, eliciting one of those gorgeous laughs. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Georgie.”

“I’d listen to you say that all day.”

“Who’s the soppy one now?”

“Hm, just don’t tell Fred.”

 .

authors note; v v rushed, if i didnt put it out though, I would spend all week on it and I have a mountain of uni work to do so meh, also drinking game: drink every time unless ur underage pls they confess their love... can you tell i’m super impressed by myself this time?

[bitimdrake]

I didn’t fully reread the issues to make that Steph timeline, but I did skim back through them all, so naturally I have found myself with Thoughts.

The first time I read Robin, I really didn’t pay attention to writers, but the divisions are clearer the second time. For Steph in particular:

Chuck Dixon is, as always, a mixed bag. On the hand, he undoubtedly brought the character to prominence, brought her back after she died, and he also filled out her life a lot. On the other, Wow Is This Man A Conservative.

Grain of salt, since not a true re-read, but I think Jon Lewis’s short run is my favorite, at least for Steph. He made Timsteph genuinely supportive and sweet and he wrote the story where Steph grapples with her father’s death, which is easily one of my favorite of her arcs.

I don’t fuckin’ trust Bill Willingham for lingering so long over those torture scenes.

Wow Fabian Nicieza really did not treat her well! Personally, his arc feels even worse for Steph than War Games for me.  All the “Steph makes mistakes” characterization is brought up to 500%, with zero sign of learning from any time she’s made similar mistakes before. I like Steph as a bit desperate for approval, and maturing out of a little recklessness, and pre-Batgirl untrained in comparison to the others, because I think those are interesting and compelling flaws. But Nicieza ran so far with that that it doesn’t even make sense to me as characterization anymore; Steph just messes up for the sake of pushing Tim’s story forward.

Steph and Cass have a sweet relationship, but man it is not the flawless friendship everyone seems to reference. (I wonder if Cass’s grief colored perceptions in hindsight, or fandom sanded off the edges on their own.) I always had this vibe, but it’s nice to confirm and put words to my thoughts with a second look. They obviously enjoy spending time together, and they understand each other a lot, and the issue where they bond over their dads is particularly great. That said, at a fundamental level, Cass...doesn’t believe in Stephanie. She knocks Steph out to keep her out of fights--and to cut off arguments--and outright admits she thinks Batman is right about Steph not being good enough. But then still wants to hang out with her friend. They spring back to happy when Steph is Robin, but with nothing addressing the previous issues, it kinda reads to me like Cass ignores her concerns now that Bruce approves, instead of anything changing her mind.

damn, Steph is never allowed to have a good relationship with Tim and Bruce at the same time!! Tim likes her, but Bruce doesn’t. Bruce decides to train her, so Tim (though theoretically on good terms) isn’t seen interacting with her. Tim and Steph are back together, but Bruce decides to blacklist her. Steph ghosts Tim, but is happily Robin with Bruce. And on and on, and that’s not even getting into the ways Bruce directly damages Tim and Steph’s relationship.

God Bruce is unfair to her :(

Batgirl is like the reward for getting through years of Steph mistreatment. It’s an arc resolution that feels good for the character and for the reader

Dick and Steph appear together exactly once before Steph becomes Batgirl, and it’s right after Dick killed the Joker lmao. Can you imagine your boyfriend for years telling you about his super cool, talented, strong, charming, nice, competent, better than Batman, greatest ever big brother figure, and then you finally meet the guy and he LITERALLY has blood on his hands from beating a clown to death, while he monologues about his guilt ajksdfjkds

[3pirouette]

Thank you to @captainjimothycarter who reached out and let me know the Steggy Secret Santa was happening earlier this year. If you haven't signed up yet, you should!

I have been notably absent for a while. If you're nosy (like I am) and want to know, reasons are below. TW for medical/Doctor issues...

TL:DR though is I'm pretty much OK, may have a Thyroid issue and the doctor I've been seeing is completely horrible, but I'm OK.

So, it started about 6 months ago when I got reprimanded by my OBGYN for not having a primary doctor. She found this out because I had found out my Dad had a genetic something-or-other that meant it was much more likely he'd get blood clots (He's had 2, and my uncle died from one). I asked her opinion about getting tested (as I'm overweight, about to turn 40, and was on birth control.) She told me I needed to stop my BC and get tested right away and find a PCP.

I go to the hematologist. I thankfully test negative.

In the meantime, I get referred to a new PCP (my previous one retired in the MIDDLE of the pandemic in 2020... thanks.) who my friend said was great. I had to wait almost 2 months for a new patient appointment, but I figured between me having no issues I knew about, the summer, and her having a really popular practice that it would be ok.

She was alarmed by my family history of cardiac issues and recommended I see a cardiologist. She also gave me a prescription for basic bloodwork.

Now, I remind you all that in GENERAL I feel fine. I've been steadily gaining weight despite exercising a lot and have a lot of fatigue, poor sleep, and mild self-diagnosed anxiety and depression, but I was attributing all of that to poor diet, the pandemic, and stress at work. So, I waited three weeks because of a family vacation to get my blood work done.

The bloodwork comes back in 4 days with MULTIPLE abnormals.

The bloodwork came back right before my meeting with the cardiologist AND a new nutritionist. The cardiologist looked at me, my history (He treats my father who has the most issues in my family, so he knew my history WELL) and the blood work and he ran a few tests in office. He wants to see my cholesterol drop (it was high but JUST out of range) in the next six months, otherwise if I'm not having issues he didn't need to see me again.

The nutritionist (did I mention she's new? Because the other one I started seeing in the spring said not only should i get a new job if my current schedule was making me make bad choices, but that "losing weight is easy. Celebrities do it for movies all the time." I kid you NOT.) So, the new nutritionist looked at my bloodwork, stated that some of my issues could be stemming from some of the abnormal values (notably my TSH/thyroid hormone) but we worked on a plan to get my eating habits on track.

After a WEEK of not hearing from the PCP office I called them and asked if I can make an appointment to review my lab work. I had to CALL THEM. I had to wait from Sept 6 to Sept 22nd JUST to get a telehealth appointment. That she was 15 minutes late for. AND she didn't address my concerns about my WILDLY high TSH, but focused on all the other things I told her the cardiologist and nutritionist had already gone over with me. I also had abnormal liver values- but I also believe based on some of my research that can be caused by the TSH. Again, she did NOT address my concerns about my TSH.

She said we should do more bloodwork. Perfect. let's get more information so we can find out what is actually going ON. Except after a week the new prescription for the bloodwork isn't on the patient portal. So I call them and they say i can't access through my phone, only a PC or Laptop. So I have to wait until the next day to look again. it's still not there. So I have to call them and they say that they sent it to Labcorp. So I call Labcorp and they don't HAVE IT. So then I call them back and they are going to PUT IT IN THE MAIL for me. I can't go pick it up, they are going to PUT IT IN THE MAIL. After ANOTHER week I call them up and THIS person on the phone is like, "Well, you didn't get it yet? Do you want to just wait?" NO. No I don't Want to JUST WAIT. So then SHE says she can put it on the PORTAL. All told, I had to wait until October 18th (From a Sept 22 appt) to get my second blood draw.

My results came in (Still abnormal on some tests, others normal) on October 22nd. Today is November 1st and I STILL haven't heard from my doctors.

I've made an appointment for next week to get a new primary care doctor. I'm done with this woman and her office. I do NOT feel cared for at all. if my TSH is abnormal it could be the cause of a lot of the symptoms I'm having that I didn't even realize were symptoms. I do not want to wait anymore and I'm APPALLED.

But anyway- that's why I haven't been around. I've been absolutely depressed and frustrated about this situation. And I think my fatigue and inability to function (which in hindsight has slowly gotten worse) has also shown up in my inability to focus on my writing over the last year.

But, yeah.

Fingers crossed for the new guy next Wednesday.

[lune-hime]

Garden of Tulips (Levi/Reader) Chapter 1

https://lune-hime.tumblr.com/masterlist

~Click me for more chapters~

“What did it look like?”

“Hmm?” Levi looked up from his place next to your sleeping form. “The titan that tried to snack on my darling granddaughter.” “Ugly as fuck.” “Aren’t they all?”

Levi recounts memories of the reader and their shared life together while she recovers from a serious injury.

!!WARNINGS!! - Violence, gore, smut, wholesome content ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tulipa Estella Rijnveld ~ A tulip whose soft white petals are stained with a crimson pigment.

↞↠↞↠↞↠

The putrid sounds of screaming and bones cracking were gradually soaked up by the trees and replaced by the stillness of the evening. The newfound silence of the countryside left an eerie calm over the two scouts but only amplified the ringing in Levi’s ears. The thumping of the horse’s muddy hooves against the hardened spring ground made his head throb as they rode further and further away from the massacre. Any sound was better than nothing, though, otherwise the silence would make him hear their foul cries.

Your pained shrieks.

In his arms you laid limp, the only sign of life was your slight breaths that just barely caressed the bottom of his chin. Whenever it became uneven the ringing in his ears sharpened. He would squeeze your side instinctively, something he would usually do to wake you up when you slept in too late. Only this time instead of your hand in his it was your blood staining his palm. He applied constant pressure to your bleeding side with one hand while the other, white-knuckled and bruised, held the reins. His grip was the only thing that kept him from floating off that damned horse. He was grateful he had lost his horse in the chaos instead of you; you loved the animal too much for Levi’s liking and he knew how devastated you would be when you woke up and it wasn’t there.

Once we get there you better fucking wake up, Y/N.

Levi had somehow managed to stop your bleeding with the piece of his cloak tightly wrapped around your waist combined with the pressure of his hand. This gave him minor peace of mind as you galloped through forest after forest. Emerging from the thicket, the last obstacle blocking your path to safety materialized on the horizon. The towering structure of Wall Rose was baked pale in the waning rays of light, it's untouched bricks proudly protecting those who resided inside. Levi wasted no time in grabbing the guards’ attention the moment he reached the barred gate.

“LET ME IN.” He screamed, his voice scattering the crows that rested on the railing of the wooden lookout post. Though he was extremely winded, his command was firm. There were some muffled curses and the sound of glass shattering before one guard peaked his heads over the edge, making eye contact with Levi’s impatient form below. To say he was startled was an understatement.

“C-captain Levi?” He called out in disbelief. The guard looked from the captain to the limp body in his arms, eyes widening in shock when he saw the remnants of your profuse bleeding.

“Captain Levi is here?” Another voice slurred from behind the first guard. A second soldier appeared, rushing over to lean heavily on the railing and gawk in awe.

“Hey, Captain! What are you doing all the way here at Krolva? What an honor, do you have a minute? My niece is a big fan and if I could get your autograph I’m sure she would really appreci-” He rambled excitedly before being cut off by a brisk slap from his comrade. He stumbled from the railing with a groan, clutching the back of his head in pain.

“Are yer eyes still workin’? Can’t you see he’s a little busy for that.  He’s riding with a wounded soldier, idiot.” His more sober counter part scolded. They soon got into a drunken argument about how to address superior officers, especially ones with pressing issues. The more their pointless conversation droned on the more Levi’s anxiety level rose. If he was delayed any longer he felt like he was going to shatter like the soldiers’ discarded beer bottle.

“I don’t have time for your shit!” He exclaimed. Your horse had begun to sense Levi’s urgency and started pawing at the ground and pacing restlessly in front of the gate.

The guards immediately halted their chatter and turned their full attention to him once again, looking like scolded children. There was a brief silence, broken by a single hiccup.

“Just. Let. Me. In. The. Damned. Gate.” Levi seethed, voice dangerously low. The guards exchanged nervous glances before scrambling to make the call that would raise the iron bars. The second the gate creaked upward, your horse was ready and anxiously bouncing on its hooves. When the opening was just large enough to fit through, your horse bolted through.

When the soldiers stationed at the guard tower would later tell the story to their comrades, and eventually Commander Pixis, they would swear that they saw the devil himself within Levi’s eyes.

Time had no meaning anymore as he weaved between stalled carts and yelping pedestrians. His eyes were on the prominent steeple that jutted out like a sunflower among dandelions from the jagged edges of the residential buildings. After rounding corner after corner and navigating the winding side streets he applied pressure to the reins at the front of the aged church. The grim sight that befell him festered at his already bleeding heart.

Sickness hung so thickly in the air that Levi felt it seeping into the pores of his skin. Hoards of ill residents congregated outside of the newly deemed hospital. Ymir’s stoney outstretched arms beckoned them to be herded like sheep into the eglise by their shepherds donned in nurses uniforms. So slowly were they being admitted that Levi could ascertain that the establishment, as grand as it looked on the outside, would not be able to harbor all of them. The mob groaned, wretched, sputtered and seemed to move as one undulating blob of disease.

Levi’s face contorted as the stench of bile singed the inside of his nose. Every one of his brain cells was scolding him for even contemplating the idea of having you treated at a place with such levels of contamination, but by the fucking walls he had no other foreseeable option. He kicked your horse briskly in the gut, abruptly trotting away to confront one of the nurses.

“You have to let me in. She’s bleeding out and needs stitches now.” Levi ordered with the remaining level-headedness he had hanging by his pinkie. His sanity was flowing out of him at the same rate blood was leaving your body. But he would not let his emotion influence his body and mind. The nurse’s eyes widened to the size of eggs, obviously overwhelmed by the sheer ghastliness of the situation.

“Captain Levi?!” She exclaimed in disbelief, first at the sight of the infamous soldier and then to the limp body clutched in his arms. Levi was aware of his so-called “popularity” but he swore he was going to explode if one more person acknowledged his name before the critical state of the soldier in his embrace. The nurse’s eyes darted to Levi’s bloodstained palm and she let out a small gasp barely audible through the cloth. Her eyebrows furrowed and Levi could infer she was frowning deeply.

“Sir, I’m sorry but we are at full capacity.” Her smooth voice was muffled by her mask. “A recent outbreak in the eastern district has us overwhelmed.”

Her excuse passed through one of Levi’s ears and right out the other. Every minute he sat here idly was another precious minute of life drained from you.

“You absolutely don’t have anyone that could treat her? Or- just give me some goddamn stitches and I’ll do it myself!” Levi demanded, tone flaring at the latter half of his proposal. The nurse gulped and shook her head somberly.

“The capital has been limiting the export of medical supplies to selected districts, including Krolva. We are maxed out now due to the illness...I’m afraid we can’t offer you anything.”

Levi dug his hand into the reins and tugged at them in frustration, making your horse skitter sideways. The scouts prided him in being one of the most rational members of its legions, which was a gift he was honing into as his head spun so quickly with what little options he had left. Uncharacteristically irrational thoughts tempted him, however when a splash of floral color caught his eye just behind the nurse’s shoulder it clicked.

He was in Krolva.

Krolva was your hometown.

You had family here.

Family with a distinct profession.

He stared at the ornamental tulips in the church yard for a moment before whipping his head towards the nurse.

“Where is the tulip farm.” Levi’s simple inquiry held the esteem of a military order of the utmost importance. Anticipation bubbled up within him as the nurse sputtered at his seemingly random change of subject.

“Um-The Vogel Estate is located slightly out of the district. If you go through the gates of Wall Rose its about a half an hour off the main road. There are signs for it you can’t miss.” The nurse instructed, pointing in the direction of the gates. Levi nodded once and was about to turn your horse around when the nurse let out a sound of protest.

“Wait!” She said hurriedly. She looked around nervously before reaching into her dress pocket, pulling out an ivory handkerchief and a small vile. Her gloved hands reached out to you looking at Levi for permission to remove his crimson caked hand.

“This saline won’t do much, but it will minimize infection.” She instructed, carefully lifting Levi’s hand. Sticky blood attempted to reconnect his limb to your side, however the nurse blotted the most recent stream away with a steady hand. Her breath hitched at the severity of your wound as she began pouring the contents of the vile onto your torn skin. She then folded the handkerchief and placed it firmly onto your side, grasping Levi’s hand and placing it over the fabric.

“This should keep more dirt from getting into her wound and irritating it. Keep applying steady pressure; thankfully it looks like you have been doing that already.”

Levi looked from his hand to her eyes, grateful for the sympathy that they held despite his frustration.

“Thank you.” He said curtly. Then, tugged on your horse’s reins and with one swift kick was off towards Wall Rose. To his relief, the gates were wide open as merchants filed through them. He deftly rushed past their inventory checks, unsympathetic to the whines in protest when your horse’s side rammed into a cart resulting in the spilling of an expensive keg of whiskey.

The signs to the estate took him through a picturesque village that made him question if the both of you were even residing in the living world anymore. When the crisp clacking of hooves against the brick road manifested into drum beats on the hard earth Levi had a small sliver of hope he was finally nearing his destination.

He had no idea how long the two of you had been riding for as crop fields turned into whistling wheat fields; the euphoric rolling hills were laughable in comparison to the bloodbath you had fled from. Levi only had a vague idea of where he was headed; his mental map painted by fond childhood memories and other stories of your youth. Based on your descriptions the place you talked so much about couldn’t be hard to miss.

You had taken Levi to Krolva once, a little less than a year ago he reckoned, on a rare scouting legion day off. However, you were unable to stay at your family home due to a myriad of circumstances. He wouldn’t have admitted it but a sweet, syrupy nervousness would churn in his stomach whenever you would talk about introducing him to your family and the other intimate aspects of your childhood. He had, indeed, already met the closest members of your family. One a scout that Levi was quite familiar with and the other the owner of this estate. He could count on one hand the amount of times he had met her and could say with the utmost certainty that it perplexed him beyond hell how you two were related. The fact that this was the first time you two were going to be there together, well the irony was ludicrous.

As humble houses began to litter the landscape he regained some confidence in his surroundings. Levi began analyzing each structure as your horse sped past, hooves hitting the stone path with the intensity of gunshots. His frantic mind began convincing himself that he was in fact in the wrong location when he saw the subject of all your musings.

Tulips.

A vast ocean of tulips that extended so far they seemed like they could caress the horizon. Levi had never seen such a sight in his life. He was never able to fully comprehend the pristine scenery you always described but seeing it laid out in front of him had enlightened his mind. Across from the floral sea sat a grand house, its elaborate frame sticking out against the rural landscape. Levi urged your horse on with a firm kick, a pained whinny erupting from its belly.

Upon reaching the structure Levi yanked on reigns, causing your horse to slide to a stop along the dirt path of the front yard. The homestead was silent except for your horse’s labored panting. Not even the sparrows that nested along the siding of the ornate porch chirped or rustled about. Levi took advantage of the quietness to make his presence known.

“H-HELP!” He shouted, his voice faltering a bit from his sore throat. He was far too used to being on the receiving end of this plea and it made him sink even more into desperation that this time the roles were reversed. The stillness lingered but a moment before the grand door swung open with a force that sent it bombarding against the siding of the house.

“Y/N!” A figure cried from the porch, their bellow echoing over the high entryway. The woman hurried down the steps with a spryness that betrayed her age. As she neared, Levi was faced with the familiar features of your grandmother.

“What in all hell happened, Levi?” She exclaimed with viscous horror. Her face contorted into various morphs of worry and disdain with each new angle she viewed of your mangled body.

“Y/N...she-” Levi wheezed, but his throat was too dry to formulate a proper sentence. His voice was cracked and his shoulder was numbing to the point where he was beginning to lose feeling. Your grandmother exhaled and collected herself, a wave of determination fastening like a uniform onto her being.

“Shit. No time for my questions, we need to get her inside now.” She stated firmly, releasing the reins from Levi’s locked grip. He nodded and allowed his hands to rise to your shoulders to pass you off to the woman. To his delight instead of fresh blood a layer of dark liquid caked his palm. This meant you hadn’t bled a significant amount since the hospital. He let out a shaky breath as the woman gathered you into her arms. You fell limply into her embrace, her knees buckling a bit at your weight but she quickly regained her posture. You looked like a corpse, pale and utterly dead looking, which made Levi want to throw up.

He never threw up.

As the woman began carrying you inside, Levi lifted his leg to dismount your horse but winced in pain. He hadn’t noticed his own injuries due to your condition, but now that the adrenaline had started to wear down they were catching up to him. When he landed the dismount he was met with a sharp pain along his shoulder blade. The pain was just an annoyance though in the grand scheme of the situation. The one thing that mattered the most in his life had almost been torn to pieces. So his shoulder could wait.

He began to hobble towards the front door, leading your horse along with him. He let go of the reins just shy of the porch steps.

“Wait here.” He coughed. There was of course no way your horse would understand him, let alone obey him. Knowing that animal it most definitely wouldn’t stay in the same place Levi left it.

Making his way into the house he paused in the entryway, taking in his surroundings. The foyer ahead of him was spacious; a large staircase laid directly in front of him and tall archways to both his sides led further into the lodgings. The quarters screamed quaint luxury; from the high ceilings, the perfectly intact pearl colored walls, to the elaborately carved hand railings of the stairs. He knew your family wasn’t exactly poor, but he didn’t know they were this economically endowed.

“Up here, quickly.” The woman called from the second floor, consequently snapping him from his daze. Blinking a couple times he charged up the stairs, taking the polished wooden steps two at a time. Once at the top he saw an open door to his right, one of many along the hallway. Just like the rest of the house the room was big, wide windows letting in the evening sunlight and casting a warm glow across the chambers. You were splayed across the silk sheets, the smooth linen now dirtied by your blood and god knows who’s else's. Your shattered form contrasted with the affluence of the room and he felt like he had just walked into your funeral service. The woman was seated at your side next to the nightstand. She had a variety of medical supplies splayed across the small table; needles, thick thread, cotton, alcohol, steel scissors, gause.

“Help me adjust her.” She requested in a low tone. Levi nodded once before walking to the opposite side of the bed and gingerly grasping your shoulders. The woman had laid you haphazardly on your side, unable to properly lay you straight due to her old age. Levi was impressed nonetheless, however, that she had carried you all the way up those stairs from the front yard. He moved your body so you were laying on your back, arms against your sides. Not wanting to get in her way, Levi planted himself on the bed at your other side.

“I’m thankful that you brought her here.” She said as she cut away pieces of your shirt with the scissors. “But why in holy hell did you not bring her to a proper medical facility? Half of her got torn up by one of those fuckers.” She exclaimed, her voice quaked with emotion but her hands remained steady.

The woman really had a way with words.

“Apply pressure to her wound while I get the stitches.” She instructed, immediately padding about the room to gather her medical supplies. Levi did as he was told and cringed when your flesh squelched under his palm.

“The hospital at Krolva was full, they wouldn’t let us in because of the illness.” Levi explained in a voice uncharacteristically small. His gaze remained fixed on his hands. Damn, his fingers were twitching.

Your grandmother slammed a bottle of alcohol down on the nightstand in disgust. Her weathered arms shook slightly at the impact.

“That damned hospital, if you can even call it that, is never prepared to take on the ailments of this city.” She spat. Now having gathered all the necessary items she pulled the stool from the vanity and set it so she was level with your injury.

In the fray he hadn’t been able to get a proper look at your injury. The woman had bunched up your tattered shirt just under the swell of your chest. She examined your torso with seasoned eyes, yet Levi saw a tinge of worry laced in her gaze. The skin that was exposed looked like someone had taken a rake to it; indigo bruises framed a sea of tattered skin in the shape of a crescent moon. Your body bent in at an unnatural angle where the titan had bitten down on your side and Levi was just thankful that he couldn’t see any bone. Seeing you in this crippled state caused tears to sear the inside of his eyes but he refused to let the floodgates burst. This was not the time to be weak, especially with this woman here.

“Don’t go crying on me now, shorty. I know you aren’t the soft type.” Levi jumped at the familiarity in her tone. It put him on edge at first; he had arrived under dire circumstances now she was calling him names and was talking as if he was an old friend. But it was oddly comforting; the boldness and confidence in her voice eased away some of his jitteriness. He huffed in response before watching her work again.

Your grandmother used gentle fingers to assess the wound, gingerly prodding the areas where you should have had skin but you didn’t. She then reached for the cotton and alcohol and began to clean the wound as much as she could; the large teeth shaped holes in your side would be difficult for any trained physician to work with. But she handled the medical supplies with a grace Levi never considered possible. When she was finished cleaning your side she spoke up.

“She’s unconscious but she could still accidentally bite her tongue.” She stated, standing from the chair to rummage through the carven dresser. Out of the top drawer she pulled out a leather belt. She returned to the bedside and handed it to Levi.

“Place this in her mouth. I’m about to start stitching her wound.” She instructed, cutting a long piece of thread with the steel scissors. His fingertips brushed your jaw as he guided your mouth open. You were already slack jawed as little puffs of air were rising from your agape lips. He folded the belt in half two times and placed it between your teeth, careful to keep your tongue along the bottom of your mouth lest you started to choke.

Once he was done, Levi studied the woman’s hands as she prepared the needle. Her fingers were wrinkled, coarse, bent at the joints, and they looked like they had endured a lifetime of hard labor. Those aged fingers preformed with precision and finesse from the moment the needle entered your skin to the tying of the final thread.

Although not awake, you had in fact tried to bite down on the belt, letting out muffled groans each time skin met needle. Levi desperately wanted to look away each time but didn't out of fear you would bite through leather.

“Talk me through what happened.” Your grandmother said without a wavering of her concentration. Had she sensed his uneasiness? Levi swallowed hard, the action painful on his parched throat.

Levi’s whole body stung with exhaustion and pain as he prepared to explain. When he spoke again his voice was still hoarse but not as jagged as before.

“What was planned as a routine expedition turned into a recovery mission for Eren-”

“Mhmm, the boy who can shift into a titan.” Your grandmother interjected, mostly as clarification for herself. She attentively continued to thread you back together as if you were one of your chewed on stuffed animals that sat atop your dresser.

“Yeah. Y/N’s squad was set to clear out any incoming titans on the western edge. That’s when the abnormal appeared. I saw the flare and-” He explained, almost in a whisper. Damn did his throat hurt. Damn did everything hurt.

“You acted out of order.” Your grandmother stated simply. A knowingly somber smile upturning her wrinkled mouth. Her words and the soft manner in which they were said caused Levi’s mouth to hang agape mid sentence.

“Which I am grateful for. Otherwise she might have died alone out there.” She added. Her expression was as even as her handiwork but Levi could see that in her eyes concern was brewing like freshly charred coals.

“A ripe piece of shite it is that this is the longest conversation we’ve had isn’t it?” Your grandmother huffed a dry laugh. Levi could only nod in response as he watched your jaw clench when her needle deftly plunged into a heavily bruised area.

She was right. The other times he had interacted with the woman were brief and professional. Both were at military events that left little room for idle chatter, seeing as she was a highly praised veteran of the garrison. One interaction occurred before you two were committed and one...well that awkward experience could not have been far enough from the forefront of his mind.

It took thirty minutes for the woman to piece you back together but it felt like a fortnight for Levi.  When she was finished she exhaled loudly and wiped her hands on a now stained crocheted dish towel.

“All done.” She stood and placed her hands on her hips. Levi couldn't begin to thank her enough for all she had done in such a short amount of time.

“Thank you, for everything.” He coughed, thus sending a wave of pain down his shoulder blade.

A huff of laughter left her lips and she sent a wyry smile his way.

“Well, what kind of grandmother would I be if I left my granddaughter as the remains of titan fodder? Come on let’s get her in some clean clothes and wash some of this blood off.” Levi nodded once and proceeded to help your grandmother get you changed and cleaned up. When the two of them had finished you almost looked back to your normal self; your body tucked under the satin covers in an elegant ivory nightgown. Your features were soft, plush lips parted and breathing steady. You now fit in with the lavish ambiance of the space. He couldn't take his eyes off of you. That is until he felt a poke on his arm.

“It won’t do either of us any good if we just sit here staring at her. Come downstairs, i’ll make you some food and stitch you up too.” Your grandmother was looking up at him sternly. Levi shot her a confused glare and she met his gaze with another chuckle.

“You don’t hide your wounds very well, humanity’s strongest. Now come on, don’t make an old lady wait.”