#she really do be a funny cartoon alien though

[mothtowers]

so called steven universe haters when peridot

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Would the skeletons be down to watch movies or tv shows with a human friend? And what is their favorite genre?

Undertale Sans - An activity when he can just sit and do nothing? Count him in! He's a sci-fi lover, so pretty much any movie with aliens will please him. Bonus point if the special effects are terrible, he loves cringe movies.

Undertale Papyrus - Sure! He likes comedies the most, but he's happy to discover new things too. He likes everything as long as he can cuddle on the couch. He's a big fan of TV games too, especially quizzes. He takes them very seriously, he's counting points and he will annihilate everyone in the house. He can be a dirty player when he really wants to win.

Underswap Sans - URGH. Really? Blue doesn't like to just sit and do nothing so chances are you start the moving, he loses focus after ten minutes and goes to play on his phone lol. Choose what you want, he really doesn't care.

Underswap Papyrus - He loves this very much, and obviously, you're going to watch either a Disney or a Marvel movie. He knows them all by heart and he saw them 30 times each, but he loves them too much to not watch them again. His favorite things are movie marathons.

Underfell Sans - He likes TV shows where people are fighting for the stupidest thing. Like their wedding day, or a dinner, or because that crazy rich woman can't have a new pair of shoes when she has a billion already. He can't get over it. He loves to bitch with his S/O watching them.

Underfell Papyrus - He doesn't like horror movies but since he wants to impress his S/O he pretends it's his favorite genre ever. Then, he's not sleeping for three days because what the hell he has nightmares and he's scared you will get possessed and he doesn't want that. Worth it though if you liked it.

Horrortale Sans - He's not difficult, whatever you're watching is fine. Anyway, he's going to forget what the show is talking about midway so... He's just there for the free cuddles on the couch honestly.

Horrortale Papyrus - He's a romantic movies sucker, especially around Christmas. He can watch movies for entire days, crying and hugging his pillows (or S/O). It prevents him for working too hard as well when you notice he's too stressed because he can't stop watching them.

Swapfell Sans - He doesn't like watching TV very much, but he can exceptionally watch a movie with you. He likes the old classic ones. Above 2000, he will criticize everything and claim it was better before, which can get very annoying.

Swapfell Papyrus - He likes stupid comedies and funny TV shows, especially when the type of humor is absurd. He's a big fan. He's always finding the worst movies ever so you two can have a good laugh, like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. You don't even want to know how he found that movie.

Fellswap Gold Sans - Only movies that win prizes because he's a snob. You swear he doesn't understand anything to what he is watching like you, but he's pretending very well. One day, you'll catch him.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He could watch cartoons and animes all day long so YES, please. He can even make some pop corn, and grab a blanket, and make a pillow fort! And then you stay there forever and you never leave!

[solei-eclipse]

THOUGHTS ON THE CLASS OF S40: KIOKU & JIU (1/?)

" Oh, sure! I'd love to talk about everyone! I hope I can remember them right... "

" I request that we make this quick. I have work to attend to. "

-> INNAMORATI (@alien-til-i-stage)

KIOKU: Ah, Inna's a blast! I love spending my mandatory playtime with him! We bounce off each other super well, and I always feel better when we hang out together.

He's a real friendly guy, usually around talking to a bunch of people, even the colder ones. I see him messing around with folks like Macbeth and Jiu on the regular. It's kinda funny! I'm always down for whatever shenanigans he's planning 'cause I know they'll be interesting.

It's easy to forget about all my worries when I play with Inna, which is why I love hanging out with him so much. Also, he's got lovely blue eyes...

JIU: Bothers me while I work. He's quite the pest, though I'd be rude to turn him away. How does he know I like rice...?

-> MACBETH (@alien-til-i-stage)

KIOKU: He's uh... eccentric. Kinda pretentious? I think he's maybe-kinda-sorta got some complexes to work out. He's a handful, to say the least. Inna likes messing around with him, though, which can be pretty fun to watch! Sometimes I do feel bad for him...

JIU: Troublesome... but negotiable.

-> TOKI (@zerostyrant)

KIOKU: Toki's an incredible dancer! The way he moves is so cool! Some other stuff about him is... a little less cool!

He's usually a pretty chill guy, more on the mischievous side, but if I hang out with Inna while he's in the vicinity... stuff starts getting real uncomfortable. A chill runs down my spine. I think Toki likes him, you know... like-like, which is cute! The vibe is kinda off, but still! Cute! I guess?

He can get pretty mean at times. I just hope he doesn't come after me, because I'd really like to learn some dancing from him!

JIU: It's unfortunate to be saddled with such an unruly batch, just watching their mind games is enough to exhaust oneself. I truly do pray for Innamorati and Sebastian's poor souls.

-> YUME (@sotogalmo)

KIOKU: Super funky guy. He kinda seems like he stepped straight out of those cartoons on TV! Acts almost unreal at times...

Something about him is... off though. I get a weird feeling about him sometimes. Almost like he's turning into something else. A doll...

JIU: Strange and disturbing under his facade. The one with the tail.

-> YUMI (@rockwgooglyeyes)

KIOKU: Uh... didn't I just finish talking about them? Huh? This is a different person? ... Oh, right! Sorry! Yu-me, Yu-mi...

Yumi is nice! Though I don't talk to her a lot, and she doesn't seem like the outgoing type. She's usually around Asahi, though, and that's where she seems happiest! She's quiet and doll-like... and shes got pretty eyes. Like Inna's!

JIU: I understand her. One of the few students I can truly tolerate.

-> SEBASTIAN (@sotogalmo)

KIOKU: Oh, that's the guy! Jeez, he can't ever seem to catch a break. Always getting picked on... He's got wit and some hidden spunk, but he prefers to play dead rather than to directly fight back.

JIU: Always caught up in a chase... yet another I have to watch out for.

-> ISLA (@nottoonedin)

KIOKU: Isla seems super fancy, and super popular! She's got a bunch of admirers, but she also seems kinda uncomfortable about it? I wonder why she keeps putting up with them... she seems a little exhausted at times. I hope she's okay.

JIU: A very refined lady. Pleasant, quiet company. We're quite similar in certain aspects, so I can't help but pity her a little. I know what it's like.

-> MONICA (@nottoonedin)

KIOKU: She seems really fun! I wonder why she's on her own most of the time? Doesn't she have any other friends? I thought she was friends with Isla, but Isla seems to have a different circle...

That's pretty sad. I imagine it'd hurt a lot if someone you used to be best friends with acted like they didn't know you anymore...

JIU: Pitiful in her own way. They're a pitiful pair. Yet another thing we have in common...

-> YVONNE (@aakaneeee)

KIOKU: Oof, she's kinda... intense. And not even in the normal way, either. She's always hanging around that one guy... What was his name again? The mousy one.... It's like she revolves around him. Kinda weird! Like Toki. But hey, who am I to judge? Humans... we'd hold onto anything that might give us the will to keep moving forward.

JIU: ...I am greatly ashamed to admit that I understand her. I'd rather not elaborate.

-> ELIANA (@aakaneeee)

KIOKU: I don't talk to her a lot, but she's got a really pretty voice! I get a little shy around her because I think she's so cool...

JIU: A reasonable individual. I appreciate that thoroughly in an environment as ridiculous as this one.

-> CINNABAR (@apriciticreveries)

KIOKU: Doesn't really talk to a lot of people except for that one girl with the special eyes... She seems stressed a lot of the time. Something about her resonates with me, though I'm not sure why...

JIU: Fearful. Poor, pitiful thing. Her circumstances are all too familiar.

-> ASAHI (@apriciticreveries)

KIOKU: Lady Cupid! Haha, I wanted to ask her about my romance fortunes just for the funsies, but I haven't built up the courage yet. She seems pretty icy, so going up to her takes a lot of guts on my part.

JIU: Reserved. A quality I can appreciate. Are those matchmaking fortunes true...?

-> ZHULI (@apriciticreveries)

KIOKU: Err... Who's that again? The announcer? Wait, which one? Like, the red one or-- oh, okay! Thanks! And sorry.

I don't see her around often... she's usually in different classes with the other guy. I like her look, though! It's really unique!

JIU: One of the two special students. The more tolerable half, to be frank. She's fine.

-> FAISAL (@rockwgooglyeyes)

KIOKU: Oh, this is the red one.

Faisal is cool to me! He seems like a wild type of person! He acts really friendly most of the time, but sometimes when he's on his own he looks pretty subdued. I wonder why?

He's still a really good announcer! Definitely a standout voice.

JIU: The other one. I understand the importance of keeping up appearances, but I'd find him more tolerable if he dropped the act.

-> JULIET (@cirrusoftheclouds)

KIOKU: She's so beautiful...! How could she be real?! Like a true princess from a storybook, or maybe a noble lady.

When I first saw her, I was so distracted that I fell into the river by accident. It was worth it, though, because she looked at me! What a gaze... she's the type that people would fight battles for (well, I would).

I think I might've hit my head when I fell into the river, because her eyes were the last thing I remembered before waking up on the riverside. Blue eyes... she has such beautiful blue eyes. I always remember blue eyes. I can't remember anything else, though...

They must have been hers, right? She must have saved me from the river! She's always so kind to me, calling me her lady and all... how dreamy! She's a knight and a lady rolled into one... Ah, but I can't leave this debt unpaid! From here on out, I'll have to protect her! I'll be your knight too, my lady...!

JIU: ...

( JIU, upon hearing KIOKU's thoughts on JULIET:

Well, it's not like I didn't bring this upon myself. Still... I think I'm going to be sick. )

-> YAEL (@lookatmysillies)

KIOKU: I like him! I heard about his almost-drowning incident, and it made me wanna approach him. I know what that feels like.

Yael's super nice! I'm not really sure why some kids find him weird. He's always been really kind to me, and I do my best to help him with whatever he needs (especially since his health worries me a lot. I'll try my hardest to look after him and Nene!). He always says stuff like,"you're an angel!" haha, what a sweetheart!

JIU: An incredibly concerning individual. Must be monitored.

-> MENTHA (@rosedeleca)

KIOKU: Super cool! Mentha's got a lot of energy, so playing with him means I get to go all out! We like to race a lot, sometimes I win and sometimes he does! The result isn't always the same, which makes things extra fun! Whenever I run up to him for a race, my first thought is: " I wonder who's gonna win today? "

He's usually around another guy... ah, what's his name again...?

-> AMBROSIA (@rosedeleca)

KIOKU: Amber... Br... Ambrosia? Oh! Thanks for reminding me! Mentha and Ambrosia go everywhere together! It's never one without the other! They're always fighting and stuff, it gets super intense sometimes. In the good way!

I really like his hair! His headscarf is kinda the same color as Mentha's hair, which I find really cute! I wonder if that was on purpose? reminds me a little of my hairtie, though I'm not sure why.

JIU: Rowdy, almost always sparring... these two will be difficult to manage.

-> ASUKA (@rockwgooglyeyes)

KIOKU: I love hanging out with Asuka! He's got a knack for finding shiny little trinkets, and he gives me a bunch! I'll cherish anything that's been given to me, and it makes me really happy that Asuka thinks I'm worthy of all these little gifts.

He told me that he kinda sucked at dancing, so whenever we have the time I try and run him through some stretches and exercises to loosen up. Helps a little more with coordination, too! His sister Isla is already a great dancer, but I think Asuka can be an awesome dancer in his own way. He's just gotta find his own style!

JIU: Quite different from his sister. Lacks refinement and class. And good lord, those rips on his uniform are an utter travesty. He must be issued a new pair.

-> WREN (@ivanttakethis)

KIOKU: I like Wren! We haven't interacted a lot, but she's pretty outgoing and friendly. I love her hair, it's like the color of a star burning at its brightest.

There's an older girl from 39 that she seems to talk to (and about) quite a bit. They look really similar!

JIU: She's fine. Capable of handling herself.

-> NENE (@shenenenigans)

KIOKU: My dear friend Nene! She's really sick, so she's in the infirmary a lot. I like to deliver her worksheets and other stuff over there sometimes. Anything to be of help to her, really. I also just love visiting Nene because she always greets me with a big hug!

When she's out of there, though, we get to have some real fun! I carry her around on my back so she can get some fresh air without tiring herself. I think seeing more of the outside world is really important for the heart, so I wanna show her as often as possible.

Nene is a fantastic storyteller, too! I love listening to the worlds she conjures up, especially the one with the girl who was saved by a dragon... agh, why couldn't they stay together in the end?! Nene!

JIU: A sickly girl, she must be monitored. I have to make sure she's alright.

-> ZOUHA (@minori-dash)

KIOKU: One of the coolest people I've ever met! They can swordfight! Isn't that awesome?! How does someone even start doing that?

JIU: A highly respectable individual. I admire their resolve and fortitude.

KIOKU <--> JIU

KIOKU: Oh. Right, of course he'd come up eventually, haha...

JIU: ...

....I really must get back to work. Please excuse me.

KIOKU: Err... could I maybe answer another time?

[blueberrymuffinmassacre]

So The Amazing Digital Circus has latched onto my brain like a particularly stubborn tick so now I gotta share a theory of mine from the Pilot.

Considering it's all, indeed, digital and the mental health of its occupants ties to their stability, I bet their avatars are near direct reflections of themselves and their issues/flaws, albeit with a filter to fit the Fun, Child Friendly Aesthetic of the Circus.

Pomni is a classic rendition of a Jester. A Court Fool. Her eyes are incredibly expressive and even change to scribbles, hollow circles, or pure black depending on her mental state.

She likely views her life as a joke, or views herself as the punchline of a joke. She's a Fool. Whether this is due to perceived incompetence, an inability to "grow up", or simply considers herself to be lesser than her peers.

I do however use the above picture on purpose. She's an absolute nervous wreck 99% of the time, but stops while being chased by a monster and is stunned by her own reflection. That isn't a look of fear or confusion, it's awe. Something about her avatar struck a cord with her and seemed right. I personally subscribe to the theory of her being transgender and experiencing a small bout of gender euphoria amidst the horrors thanks to a post made by one demilypyro.

Jax is a Cartoon Rabbit. Not really terribly much to say about the design itself other than it being very rubber-hose animation in its proportions and the seeming default smug expression.

Jax is an asshole. He plays pranks in bad faith, is incredibly snarky and dry even to someone in distress, and doesn't seem to overly care about the others well being.

"I'm fine with doing whatever, as long as I get to see funny things happen to people." It makes sense his avatar would take a similar look to another wise-cracking cartoon rabbit we all know. He also seems the most content to actually be in the Circus itself. Considering it can let him do all manner of things to others, from the lethal to the physically impossible, he might consider it better than reality.

Ragatha is literally just raggedy ann. A patchwork doll.

She seems to be the most outwardly kind of the individuals in the circus, showing patience and understanding with Pomni even when in distress, though she clearly has a limit to said patience.

I think it's safe to assume Ragatha has been through a lot of shit for her avatar to make her seem patchwork. Which is to say, damaged multiple times and repaired each time, leaving clear marks of the repairs like scars.

Zooble is a mess of individual parts slammed together in an approximation of a humanoid shape. Like someone took dozens of pieces from all sorts of toys and put them together into an amalgam.

Gooseworx has stated they have no idea what they're even suppose to be. This can and likely does include gender, but probably includes their entire identity as a whole. Or rather, their lack of one.

For whatever reason, be it alienation, isolation, or any number of potential causes; Zooble doesn't know who they are or what they want to be. No ambitions, no dreams, no real self identity. This makes their avatar manifest as a mess that also doesn't know what it wants to be, so is a little bit of everything.

Gangle is most insubstantial, their body almost entirely a ribbon. The key part of their avatar is the mask: Comedy and Tragedy. And it seems in the few instances it's not broken, they always try to wear the comedy mask over top the tragedy mask.

Gangle's behavior makes me think she's the youngest of the individuals, at least mentally. As for the masks, something about her circumstances in life made her feel the need to put on a facade of joy. Maybe to live up to expectations, or to hide her true feelings to avoid worrying others. As an avatar, this seems to have become literal: She seems to only be happy with the mask on and discontent at best with it off/broken.

Kinger is a White King Chess Piece.

He's a forgetful paranoiac who, according to the characters, has been present in the Circus for the longest amount of time. He seems to forget where people are and what he's doing quite a bit.

In a moment of lucidity near the end, he goes in depth about how the food they eat is just simulated, and how they provide the sensation of eating despite not being real. It's also worth mentioning the ground floor of the circus is a Chess Board.

I believe Kinger is/was at least partially in charge of creating the Circus. His avatar is a walking symbol of authority, a reflection on his standing within the digital space rather than his current mental state. Perhaps the avatar was more fitting when he first entered the Circus, aware of its intricacies and rules, but has long since forgotten such things.

We don't see Kaufmo while he's uh. Normal. But we do see pictures of what he did look like: A Clown.

From the dialogue of other characters like Ragatha and Gangle, he seemed to actually try and play the role of clown during his time in the Circus, even if he wasn't terribly funny.

Kaufmo likely found himself to be a clown in reality. Maybe he was a clown in the literal sense. Or maybe he just saw himself as a funny, quirky guy to be around even if he was none of those things.

Finally, we have what happens when someone goes completely plum insane.

The Avatars are based on mental scans of the individual made to fit the aesthetic of the circus. an Abstraction is what happens when said software tries to read a mind that has no logic or reasoning left. There's nothing to find, no basis of personality, no base to work with. So in confusion the avatar becomes a glitched mess, trying and failing to find a shape within the madness to settle into.

Kinger seems to be insane, yet they're stable, because there is still an individual underneath the neurosis. There's nothing left of Kaufmo at this point: Just a cyclone of emotions inside a broken human mind.

That's the theory, anyway. It's a fucking pilot I could be entirely wrong.

[skrill999]

Wow there is nothing on the invincible tag. Guess I am one of the first people to see it (I mean what kind of Loser would stay up until midnight just to see a dumb cartoon) well I did and now I want to talk about it.

Anyways Invincible S2E5 is good and I recommend it (if you like Invincible that is)

HEAVY Spoilers ahead!!!!!

"My pizza's getting cold" man we just thought it would be a fun quippy chill episode. I mean I remember when Rex said "surely there won't be two massive disasters at the same time" like Dude Rex! Don't say that! You're just setting yourself up for disaster.

They killed DupliKate!!! And Shrinking Rae!!! Nooo! I know they didn't get too much detail to their characters but I was enjoying them!! As I was watching the battle I was thinking "Surely DupliKate has a master copy that she keeps out of battle" but it the battle when I saw she was stuck in the lizards grasp I saw how scared she was and that made me realize she might not. Though now that I am thinking about it she still might but idk. Still!! For all intents and purposes they killed her!!!

Also that moment where Rex was getting the sh*t beaten out of him and Shrinking Rae came to help and she went in his mouth and Rex said

"You know she doesn't stay small"

I thought that was so cool and was just waiting for her to come out so cool and then... she didn't. That was shocking and that's when I realized just how f*cked the situation really is. It was quite interesting to see him on such a backfoot while he was fighting and panicking. Very brave I will say that. Does he even have powers? I think he can make explosives but I don't know if that's just his gadgets. That was an interesting (cathartic?) moment where him losing his hand was what took down that other guy. But wow he is so fucked. What can he even do to get out of this?

Also I don't know when Rex became my favorite character but he *surprise* did have a moment of not being an asshole. You know when he was talking to Eve and giving her a pep talk (with ulterior motives of course but still it was nice)

Also yeah on the other end of everyone is getting fucked, the A-team is also fucked but it has bigger consequences then potentially just one person dying. (Don’t get me wrong I like Rex and DupliKate and Shrinking Rae but they are just 3 people and surely there are other heroes to take care of the Lizard League, it's down to it's last member, right?) If the A-Team fail then potentially all of Earth is doomed.

It is funny to me how shapechanger really thought he was fooling people. Though when he was speaking to the Martians his speech did not come off anymore naturally so now I wonder if he is as alien to the other Martians as he is to the earthlings. It does seem like he doesn't fit in with them either.

If you have gotten through this word salad that I call my flow of thoughts immediately after watching that episode, I am impressed. There is no organization to it. Anyways I have not read the comics, nor do I ever intend on doing so (at least not while the show is coming out) so I would appreciate no spoilers. But hey I would love to hear other people's thoughts. Perhaps there will be more activity on this tag when I wake up tommorrow (or today, whatever)

I bid you all a goodnight or goodmorning and good week wait for the next episode. :)

[bumblingbabooshka]

How would Tuvok react to one or more of his children (Kes counts too) getting into a weird new interest he doesn't understand a la skibidibi toilet?

Hmm...He half-listens to it and clearly thinks it's silly but reiterates that he is listening if they ask. With Kes it would be different because she's an adult and not someone he thinks of as his child (more a mentee). As his children grow older his reaction to this phenomenon also changes. I envision him as the type of dad who if you're talking to him about anime will later point at anything vaguely cartoonish and ask if you'd like it. [why] I was under the impression you were interested in anime. [That is not anime, that is a cartoon.] Ah....... <- Doesn't know the difference but doesn't want to ask. It's a moment where you roll your eyes at your dad but also are a little bit pleased to know he was listening. He gets all the characters names a little bit wrong <3 In a batch of four one of his kids is no doubt deeply hurt by Tuvok's uncommitted attitude and another will just follow him around all day yapping. Just one more thing, father.  I also think there's a difference between something he doesn't understand and something he thinks is silly. If one if his kids wants to talk to him about say, a strategy math game they're really into he'll engage with it more than if Elieth wants to talk about shoes. Again. He strikes me as a person who'd really like for his children to of course be content in their lives but also maybe be proper and productive members of Vulcan society...why not go down to the learning center instead of watching cartoons? [It's anime./It's Saturday.] I'm saying all this thinking of them as teenagers though... When they're little he makes more of an effort to listen to them all seriously...he's nodding and paying full attention as they all regale him with tales of What We Played in the Park Today [action packed! the drama! the logical solutions! the pushing!] He isn't very interested in the topic itself but this peek into how their growing minds are operating is fascinating. He cherishes his children very plainly <3 Judging by Tuvok's personality he's a pretty strict person with strict values. He also doesn't hide when he's irritated or uninterested very well [Vulcans would be able to tell as Vulcan emotional expression is not alien to a Vulcan. Also he's their dad] and yet despite that he's patient and kind when it counts and especially soft/accommodating towards children. In 'Innocence' even though he clearly doesn't believe that there's a monster he still entertains the possibility and addresses their fear, trying to comfort them rather than shutting it down, you know? If say one of his children seemed hurt by his half-listening, no matter how silly it was, I know he'd apologize and give them his full attention like Ok. Ok. I am now Fully Prepared to listen to the process of you building a Gigantic Skull in Vulcan Minecraft. It'd be funny if Tuvok had random patches of heavily biased and half-remembered knowledge from his children. He knows your space Jordans are counterfeit...Elieth would have spotted them right away. With Kes he'd probably just try to listen for a bit before telling her that she should perhaps find someone else to speak about this particular topic with once he decided he wasn't interested and it had nothing to do with their mind power studies. v_v He's a guy who responded "No" when Harry asked if he wanted to know what he thought so I don't think he'd have any issue saying "I don't care about this" [worded differently] to another adult. Now if it was NAOMI he'd be stuck until he could find an excuse, Neelix, or her mom.

[marine-indie-gal]

I'd figure why not draw something special for one of my Close Friends that being @djinarocks of her Recent OC/Canon Ship between her own OC, Elodie and Lucien Bolok from The French Cartoon, "Space Goofs" (which is funny, considering that I was the one that made her dive into that Show in the First Place, lmao).

Anyway, considering that her own New Ship has got Me Hooked that somehow continues to fuel towards my liking towards Bolok (since both Me and @djinarocks like Him a lot).

Gotta say, Bolok kinda reminds Me a bit of Charlton Hawkfish from SpongeBob if he was a Creature Assassin rather than an Sewer Architect.

Gotta be honest, Bolok's head (compare to my very first drawing of him if he were in an Opposite Species) was VERY hard to draw. Like, seriously, his Skull was so confusing I couldn't tell if he was either Square-Shaped or Triangle-Headed until when I realized that he was more Pentagon-Shaped.

The Pose itself that I did for My Friend's Second Xilam OC/Canon Ship after Z&S! Hadephone was mainly inspired by the Statue of Death and the Maiden by Elna Borch, since I always get amount of Heavy "Grim" vibes from Bolok (even after my First Interpretation of Him as an Alien) so I had to recreate the Statue with My Friend's Ship just because that her Second Xilam Ship fits in that Category as well (at least, according to her when I asked).

(Funny enough though, her own version of Hades/Persephone in Xilam's Multiverse goes all the way back being one of the very first Death/Maiden Ships).

I wanted to draw my Friend's Recent OC in the Show's Artstyle (compare to how I did with some of her Other OCs in their own Fandoms' Media's Personal Artstyle) to see on how Elodie would look like if she was an Actual Character (which I've realized that I kinda made her look a lot like Jessica Rabbit).

Also, drawing Guns/Blasters are an Real Actual Hell compare to how I draw Buildings (which I mostly Hate). I had to took some Screencaps for Bolok's blaster from the Show as a Reference to his own Weapon cause I needed some help figuring out on what his own Blaster might truly look like (as an akin to the Grim Reaper's Scythe from the Statue).

Hope you really like this a lot, @djinarocks and Happy 4th of July! 🤍💙❤️💙🤍❤️

(P.S. I do NOT own the Background as I randomly got that off from Google as they were from Adobe Stock).

Lucien Bolok (c) Xilam

Elodie Auclair (c) @djinarocks

[tobiasdrake]

AA4-2, Investigation Day 1, is such a unique investigation day. One thing the Ace Attorney brand has always excelled at is shaking things up with introductions to its cases.

Sometimes it's simple. Someone comes to the office and goes, "Hey man there's a murder will you defend" and the attorney goes "Yeah man I got you" and then we're off to conduct our trial preparations.

But other case introductions are more... unconventional. Given the circumstances, 4-2 has no choice but to be an oddball.

The Wright & Co. Law Offices don't exist anymore and, having just successfully sent his boss to prison for murder, Apollo is obviously fucking fired from Gavin & Co. So. Even though Apollo is licensed to practice law, there is no law office for a prospective client to walk into.

Which means we gotta get creative with three odd jobs in place of a typical crime investigation.

Three seemingly unrelated requests that all seem more like police work than attorney business. This sure is a weird way to introduce the second chapter of a lawyer game. The first time I played this, I was very confused and spent much of the chapter wondering when the lawyering was going to kick in. Much like how Apollo feels.

This chapter's introduction is very off-putting. Intentionally so, but I do wonder if the extremely unconventional nature of this setup is part of what alienated the player base.

Guy Eldoon, incidentally, is a pretty significant piece of Ace Attorney lore that doesn't quite come across in the American version. In the original Japanese, Maya's "burger" obsession was an obsession with "ramen". They localized it into burgers to try and make the game American back in AA1.

The series has been paying the price for the decision to localize ever since, as it's had to wind itself increasingly in knots to try and explain away how aggressively Japanese many parts of it are. One of the consequences of that decision is that Guy Eldoon loses his punch.

The reason Eldoon's Noodles is such a big deal is because this is the noodle vendor that Maya was getting all that ramen from. Her burger supplier, if you will. This man's family legacy of noodle stands is a critical piece of Ace Attorney lore, but he and his stand are also so obviously noodle-designed that it'd be impossible to try and call it a burger grill. So the bit just. Broke.

Without that vital piece of context, funny jokes like this simply don't land.

HA! It's funny because Maya is fucking obsessed with burgers ramen so of course Phoenix had a tab back in his attorney days!

Meanwhile, not to be left out, Trucy's here with the references to the good ol' days as well.

She is absolutely Phoenix's kid. She's absorbed his talent at being pedantic incorrectly on the topic of ladders.

In any case, these three seemingly unrelated events are fairly trivial to solve, but they begin to weave together the complicated tale of a bizarre and inscrutable crime spree last night that sees even the local yakuza family hit.

What makes this investigation really interesting from a creative standpoint is that all of these seemingly unrelated errands come together in the end to paint a picture of a single crime.

But. What makes it frustrating from a player standpoint is that until you become aware of that, it just feels like you're running around doing pointless errands. Ultimately, I like the idea of this case introduction more than its execution.

It ultimately becomes a huge relief when an actual client finally makes themselves known. Courtesy of Trucy having shrewd yet amoral business sense.

Trucy do not sell our services to the yakuza thank you

Too late. We're mob lawyers now. Now we get to defend this dipshit.

I particularly love Bad Badger there on his shirt. This wannabe gangster is running around wearing a cartoon mascot of a stereotypical Crime Dude as depicted in police propaganda. That's like self-identifying as the archnemesis of McGruff the Crime Dog.

I genuinely can't decide if he's trying too hard or just the right amount of hard. It's such a perfect combination of gangster edge and childish dipshit. I love his shirt so much.

In any case, once the hurdle of the opening errands is cleared, we pick up our two new additions to the game's principle cast. First being our rival prosecutor Klavier Gavin.

Gavin's intro is a little gross, gotta say. I like Gavin's role in the plot, but they're going for this suave rockstar aesthetic. He's both the "rockstar" of the court who vanquished legendary attorney Phoenix Wright seven years ago and literally a rockstar.

To that end, we see him (24) flirt with Apollo (22)...

...which is fine. But he also does it with Trucy (15).

Gross thing to call a minor, dude. Godot was a weird creep too but at least he didn't hit on underage girls. So this isn't a great first impression to the game's main plot-important rival.

Fortunately, it's quickly followed up by the triumphant return of Ema Skye, who was retconned into existence just two years before Apollo Justice's release to tease her presence in the new status quo. She immediately endears herself by being equally grossed out by Gavin.

The thing I really like about All Grow'd Up Ema is that her personality's changed from the girl we knew in Rise From the Ashes. She's still Ema where it counts.

(Hahahahaha look at it! That's it! That is the burger joint! Serving ramen, ramen, ramen, and rice ball! I bet you Maya's favorite was probably the ramen, medium grilled with tomatoes and lettuce.)

Still a determined forensic analyst at heart. But it's been nine years since last time we saw her, and she was only 16 years old when we knew her before. People change a lot between 16 and 25, so it'd be weird if she was still the same ol' Ema through and through.

Ema's here to be our new Detective Gumshoe. But the wide-eyed optimism of youth has been replaced by jaded bitterness at a career path that hasn't been so glamorous as she once imagined.

And one that has driven her to a newfound snacking habit. This is a character trait I adore. It reflects the classic stereotype of the whiskey-addicted detective worn down by life and with no more fucks to give, except her drug of choice is chocolate.

Incidentally, I had to take so many pictures of this woman eating to get that one frame where she pops the Snackoo into her mouth that now I feel like a total creep so let's move on.

Point is, Ema's new disgruntled attitude is a lot of fun, and makes for a sharp contrast against the easygoing and carefree nature of Dick Gumshoe. Though she becomes less hostile and combative with Apollo and Trucy once she learns who they are....

And though her attitude improves tremendously any chance she gets to whip out her forensic tools....

Her demeanor towards her actual job remains sour. Though we do get some explanation as to why.

With Gumshoe, the joke was always just dunking on his salary for fun. Haha, Gumshoe screwed up and now the prosecutor's angrily cutting his salary! He has to subsist on cup ramen! LOL

Which can be aggravating as a "running joke" if you know what it is to be poor.

That's not to say there wasn't more to Gumshoe's character. He was a good-natured nice guy with a tendency to miss subtle details. He liked giving his all for his "team" even though the prosecutors rarely appreciated him, but he also respected the defense and even put himself into physical danger to protect them from violence multiple times.

Gumshoe was a great character, and he will be missed.

Ema's point of friction with her job is a lot more character-driven. Because we had time to get to know her back when she was wide-eyed and optimistic, we can feel it when she expresses that this is a waste of her talents. She should be in a lab doing DNA analysis on a bloodstained knife, not picking it out of dirt and putting it in a bag for the prosecutors' office.

Ema is a welcome addition to this new cast.

With all that sorted out, there's just two characters left for the investigation day to introduce. Since we're mob lawyers now, thanks Trucy, we gotta meet the mob. We met Little Plum and her sword-concealing sweeping broom earlier. But we also need to meet the head of the yakuza with a distinctive Godfather look about him.

And our client, the ever-rebellious Wocky Kitaki desperate to make a criminal name for himself.

Though our time with them is brief, it quickly becomes apparent what our biggest conflict of this trial is going to be: Our dumbass client wants to go down for murder, because he is a child of a criminal culture who feels like he has something to prove - despite his family's efforts to convince him otherwise.

Wocky reminds me a lot of Ron DeLite. This is hardly our first time at the defense stand having to battle our own stupid client who's all too eager to confess - Something that, in actual case law, wouldn't be a thing? Like. If your client wants to plead guilty, you can't stop them. But Ace Attorney takes extreme artistic liberties with the law.

(Remember that one time when Phoenix's client fired him in the middle of a case, and for no clear reason he was allowed to remain in the courtroom and continue defending her anyway? Good times. Also, hi, Ema!)

But the difference is that Ron was a gentleman thief and Wocky's a teenage wannabe gangster, so the difference in temperament is palpable.

All in all, this investigation is... meandering. While a fun idea in theory, chasing down all these errands can easily leave the player just... waiting for the plot to start. There's a lot of busywork here, right down to Ema making you leave the crime scene to go talk to Phoenix so that you can come back and talk to Ema only this time she's cooperative.

The Kitaki family are a fun set of characters once they're introduced. Eldoon's Noodles is a significant piece of Ace Attorney lore if you're familiar enough with the non-localized version to catch it. Ema's return is a lot of fun. Trucy's charming and likable. But the connective tissue between all these things needed work, I think.

[better-page-sage]

Garbage Self-Insert Undertale AU

Name: BPSTale

Part joke, part serious, all stupid. Also, even though this AU has f/os in the major character roles, there will be no self-shipping in this. Sorry folks.

Frisk - Me!!! At least the Picrew version of me. Not much is changing about my personality.

Chara - Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)! I know that Chara isn’t the one who caused the genocide in actual Undertale, but nobody is really looking at this anyway, so Alastor causes the genocide in this AU. Color me stupid lolz.

Flowey - Chikn Nuggit! I just feel this role would be funny, especially the idea of the Omega form being Chikn’s god form.

Toriel - Kinger (TADC)! He keeps whatever place replaces the Ruins dark for his own sanity. Plus, protective father figure. Followers of my blog know exactly where this is going lolz.

Napstablook - Greavard (Pokemon)! Little shy ghost pup. I know he’s more outgoing than Napstablook, but I felt this role would be cute.

Sans - Rudy (ChalkZone)! I’ve made Rudy Sans in a couple of other AUs, but we don’t talk about those because they were even worse than this one. This version of Rudy is a bit more outgoing than Sans, but a bit lazier than himself in the cartoon. 

Papyrus - Snap (ChalkZone)! He’s just like himself in the show because Snap already has Papyrus energy. 

Grillby - Dib (Invader Zim)! He’s had more success as a restaurant owner than a paranormal investigator. At least his restaurant is based on ghosts and aliens.

Monster Kid - Kitty (Kitty Is Not A Cat)! I felt she would say a bit more than “meow” in this AU, but only a bit! She’d probably say things like “Hi!” and “Let’s go!” or “Stop!” if you do a genocide run. She wants to be a part of the royal guard just like her friends! 

Mad Dummy - Mimikyu (Pokemon)! Angry ghost in a cloth costume? Yeah, it’s the same.

Undyne - Kuromi (Sanrio)! Edgy emo critter with soft bunny gf. She denies the fact that she’s cute and the fact she likes cute stuff.

Temmie - Squeakoid (Animal Crossing)! Sqeakoid shop, bottom text.

Alphys - My Melody (Sanrio)! Precious little bun! She loves kawaii stuff and anime (especially Sailor Moon)!

Mettaton - Sprigatito/Meowscarada (Pokemon)! Sprigatito is the Box Form, Meowscarada is the EX Form, and the NEO Form is just Meowscarada with a glock. 

Muffet - Charlotte (Making Fiends)! She’s gone a little nuts looking for a friend and thinks that wealth can help with that. 

Gaster - Penny (ChalkZone)! Rudy used to be her assistant before the incident involving the CORE replacement.

Asgore - Caine (TADC)! He’s a bit more outgoing than Asgore, but I wanted to do some Royalteeth angst. He feels bad for what he did to the six souls because it drove Kinger away and resulted in the death of the next role.

Asriel - Pomni (TADC)! She’s pretty much the same as she is in the show.

Mad Mew Mew - Dedenne (Pokemon)! Well, more like a robot Dedenne, but still.

Amalgamates - Catnap (Poppy Playtime), Snom Pincurchin and Pyukumuku (Pokemon), Kaufmo (TADC), Izzy Moonbow (MLP ANG), Vendetta (Making Fiends), Rainbow Dash (MLP FIM)

Royal Guard - Thorn (KINAC), Alexander and Eliza Hamilton (Hamilton musical), Petal (KINAC), Skrawl (ChalkZone), Larry and Geeta (Pokemon S/V)

Human Souls - Queenie (TADC), Isabelle (Animal Crossing), Beetlejuice (Beetlejuice, specifically the musical), Tattletail (Tattletail), Gregory (FNAF SB), Mirabel Madrigal (Encanto)

Feel free to suggest characters from the previously listed fandoms for other roles! I also will answer questions in the unlikely event that they're asked.

[dunhoof]

ranking my fandragons by the emoji i assigned to their series

soul eater: skull

soul eater is usually represented with this little kinda jack-o-lantern kinda looking logo but it's not really significant in the series itself as far as i remember - it's a simplified representation of soul evans, arguably? it's similar to how souls are drawn in meister-vision? basically i think it's not a super great logo and there's no emoji that really resembles it anyway, so instead of that i went with what i think the logo should be - death's skull, which is seen all over the fucking place and is directly representative of the academy, ruling figure, and main setting the entire plot is based around. this skull doesnt really look like that. this is just a skull. i thought about using the deer skull bc the shape is closer to the stylized skull SE uses but i thought that'd confuse things more. 6/10

magi: gold crown

magi's actual logo is just a stylization of マギ so no go on matching that to anything. the second closest thing it has in terms of iconography is the seal of solomon. so? maybe the achievement token or rainbow star could work? the glimmer tile or sun, even? i see where i was coming from here though. the word king pops up a lot. kingdoms. king vessels. this is kind of a eurocentric way to evoke that that doesn't really fit the setting though. 3/10

fraggle rock: new friend

now this one's cute. kind of sort of looks like a fraggle. is a friend. can't think of anything more appropriate - the only big symbol i could think of in fraggle rock besides the fraggles themselves would be the rock and this is more fun than using the earth symbol. 9/10

hiveswap/homestuck: planet

my first fandragons were hiveswap and i later put my homestuck ones in with those so this actually favors hiveswap - this pink especially feels a lot more like hiveswap alternia than homestuck alternia. there's aliens in there, for sure. no emoji really resembles the sburb logo or spirograph, nor the red/green spiral. 4/10

metalocalypse: gear

metalocalypse's primary logo is a big metal-runic skull but we've already been down the route of trying to adapt a stylized skull. gears are a huge symbol and (similarly to how i complained abt the soul eater iconography) the one that feels like it's more significant in the series itself - there's a song about it and everything. become a part of the klok and all. i like that it's a rusty gray metal. 10/10

drakengard 3: rose

there's a big flower in the main character's eye. looks more like a lilly but this is the only flower emoji we have somehow (thank god we have 6 different puzzle pieces). that's fine though, the main character was also once named rose and her mark also is kinda rose-like. without spoiling too much or even understanding what the hell the plot of drakengard is, the flower is a big deal. only other big symbol is. dragon. would've been funny to just use a banescale. 8/10

the adventure zone: D20

dnd podcast. d20. taz logo has a d20 in it sometimes because of course it does. stan jenkins. 7/10

ok k.o.: ping

logo does in fact have an exclamation point. kind of comic-booky which is appropriate for a superhero cartoon, good colors. 5/10

fire emblem: sword and shield

fire emblem often used sword and/or shield. also sometimes uses dragons. couldve used the fire rune but that'd be corny. silver appropriately neutral as opposed to the blue and yellow coat-of-arms shield, style is more Serious Looking than the coli team sword/shield. sort of boring but doesn't get much better. 8/10

puyo puyo: apple

we don't exactly have a slime emoji. ringo is associated with apples and she's the mc of puyo puyo tetris 1 & 2 which is the one i played because i like playing tetris a lot more than i like playing puyo puyo. the only character i have from this series is schezo though. 3/10

carmen sandiego: red gem

no big hat, no globe, what's a mouse to do? left wing?? a valuable artifact fits in with the whole master thief thing, and red's the obvious choice. sort of weird-looking emoji. 4/10

read dead redemption: horseshoe

pretty damn western. 6/10

minecraft: shockswitch green

a square is the natural choice for minecraft - the most common logos here are the grass block and creeper face imo, both of which are green. the other shockswitch emojis have different shapes in the center, while this one is double square. 7/10

danganronpa: crescent moon 1

black and white and split down the kinda-middle like our iconic mascot monokuma - silhouette could've worked but the colors here are better. dangaronpa's big symbol is a red shape i'd describe as looking like a wing - right wing could work - but i don't think it's meant to be a wing. i actually have no clue where that shape comes from or if it means anything in particular. in the team danganronpa logo, it's more of a crescent shape to fit the logo-ization. i like this choice but it loses points for being a stretch by having the literal interpretation of a moon have 0 relevance. 6/10

the venture bros: modern

please for the love of god save me. was gonna make it the skull but see soul eater. 2/10

street fighter: firework

how the hell does a series run for 37 years and get away with having a big SF as it's only major logo. 1/10

[velvetvexations]

do you have any shows that have nonbinary ppl as humans?/gen I was thinking like that alien from ZOMbIES or double trouble from she-ra. Though, i dont really consume that much media, now that i think about it.

Honestly anon, it's not usually content I'm super into because a lot of the stuff leading the vanguard on this issue are a great deal more on the soft Steven Universe uwu end of the vibe scale. It was something I first took notice of while watching the second season of Velma (which I found to be better than the first season yet also less interesting and funny). In video games, Testement from Guilty Gear and Kris in Deltarune are two. I'm pretty sure the most recent Transformers cartoon, Earthspark, has a non-binary human.

[souljellied]

What would you have changed about the Kim Possible live action?

To start on a very oddly specific note: I get what they were trying to do with all of Kim's random flips and tumbleturns etc, but it really highlighted to me that some movements which look fine in a cartoon look absolutely unnatural in real life. I think they did some cartoony things great - Drakken and Shego still have big Cartoon Villain energy to them, and the school setting looked almost exactly as it does on the show which was neat!

But some of the action visuals did not translate well to live action. I'm not sure what I would have changed exactly, but the scene where Kim's running for the schoolbus and does a bunch of unnecessary flippy stuff went straight into Narm territory to me and that's the one I'm thinking about here. Keep the flips for the fight scenes, maybe?

Changing the setting: A timeskip with an older Kim and Ron would have allowed them to take the plot in a bigger and more grandiose direction. Replicating the animated show felt like a waste, really. Give Drakken and Shego some huge mega death laser (I can't remember what schemes they've done exactly... something they haven't done, but big and ridiculous and overambitious) or find a way to bring the aliens back! Dip into some of the show's lore (Team Go, Global Justice, or any of the bizarre worldbuilding around the fact that supervillains walk around everyday places in their costumes and no one bats an eye!)

Seeing Kim and Ron in university or jobs would fit with that theme of 'taking a step up' that just makes sense for a big budget movie. Fans of the show already saw Kim in high school, let's take the chance to see her somewhere different (in a setting that we're not constantly visually comparing with its animated counterpart).

Monique. WHERE WAS SHE I'M SO MAD. Same for the other secondary/tertiary characters, even if it's just cameos. Felix, Zita, Josh! The characters, even the less prominent ones, help make the world of KP what it is. It would have been nice for the movie to acknowledge more of them. I'd have liked the movie to have given us more things that built upon the world we knew and loved instead of ditching half of it.

Drakken and Shego were honestly great and so was Ron's casting. Kim's vibe felt... off. She's got insecurities but the movie put too much emphasis on those insecurities IMO. Kim's charisma is intense though, so I get it's hard for a young actress to pull off.

All in all, something dramatic and plotty and funny and ridiculous and grandiose that felt bigger than high school drama, really.

[avengersrewatch]

E16: Widow's Bite

Speaking of lady superheroes, here is something else I don't like about this series (and it seems like I have a lot of complaints even though I am rewatching this cartoon because I like it better than other versions): the Hawkeye and Black Widow subplot.

Since the beginning mini-episodes, Hawkeye has thought Black Widow betrayed him to Hydra and that she was a double-agent. And that's fine, even though everyone watching knows she's not evil by now because Black Widow has appeared in the movies at this point. So she's actually more familiar than Hawkeye to a lot of viewers.

So he has been hunting her down and this episode is a lot of continuation of that. I think it makes Clint look stupid that he hasn't figured it out. Because it is definitely made clear in this episode, as if it wasn't set up before, that she is still working for SHIELD and trying to protect him while she is undercover.

I feel like Widow should be part of the Avengers team by now, but instead both Widow and Mockingbird continues to work for SHIELD and Janet remains the only lady on the team. I can't quite figure out why this should be.

Of course this is also the era of "Marvel thinks girl toys don't sell" so maybe that is why?

It's also unclear exactly what the Avengers are at this point. Tony points out that they are supposed to be dealing with the Breakout (the super villains who escaped prison which is the whole start of the series) and Widow isn't one of them. Which would make sense as a reason the organization exists. But they also do other missions, like the alien robot we just saw in the previous, so why can't Barton try to bring this criminal to justice. Nick Fury tries to say because HYDRA is too complicated, but... is it? It doesn't seem that way on the show.

What I like about this episode:

Captain America and Black Panther duo. It's such a fun dynamic. Steve and T'Challa go after Hawkeye, but without permission from Tony. Steve says no one can take on HYDRA alone and T'Challa says he knows what it is like to be blinded by vengeance. So together, they know better than Hawkeye but don't actually stop Hawkeye, just hover like parents hoping their kid will make friends at pre-school.

I repeat T'Challa and Steve are acting like they are Clint's two dads, hoping he and his new bff Bobbi, beat all the Hydra agents up but if he doesn't, they will swoop in and rescue him. (Which they do.) Meanwhile, they are secretly high fiving in the Quinjet that Hawkeye made a "little friend."

After Mockingbird pops up and Hawkeye decides to team up with her, T'Challa says "at least we know his weakness now if he were to turn on us." Like that's a thing he's been worried about. T'Challa is going to fling women at Clint if he goes rogue. I don't know why this makes me laugh so hard. (It's kind of a Batman thing to say.)

There's also a funny bit when they lose Hawkeye, Tony is mad and says he told Hawkeye not to go after Hydra why did they help him? And T'Challa and Steve are both like "I didn't hear you say that." (Steve says it sounded more like a suggestion than an order, and T'Challa says in Wakanda the words of avenge and revenge are the same. So you guys were just confused about the definitions of words, I get it.)

Just when Steve is freaking out that Hawkeye's signal is lost, T'Challa's like "I have faith he will contact us," and an unknown signal appears in the middle of the ocean. Hawkeye's location. T'Challa's like, "That's my boy."

Cool shots of everyone running at the hydra guys. Panther shreds Grim Reaper's arm scythe.

Odd thing:

Madam Hydra (Viper edition) is introduced and there is a scene where she pulls the pin of a grenade out with her tongue, that is cool but also weirdly suggestive for a kid's cartoon.

Unless this cartoon isn't intended for kids in which case Hawkeye is REALLY dumb.

[signofthestriking]

Girls Supporting Girls (Even If They're Aliens)

This is part of an ongoing OC-driven AU, which you can check out here. Previous one-shot.

June 9th, Age 714. Afternoon. For early summer, it had been raining a lot the past couple of days. Konnie collapsed her umbrella as she hurried to Xandria’s front door, her friend letting her inside in seconds. Her sweater soaked, the half-Saiyan took it off and wrapped it around her waist, her short tail wagging back and forth.

“Nice house.” She said. “Your brother here?” “Yeah.” Xandria nodded. “So is my other sister, I don’t think you’ve met her.”

Taking another look around, a modest living room greeted Konnie. Some old stains marked the walls and the floors, in between sparse furniture. An old TV displayed a news segment. A couple pictures decorated the walls. Xandria took a seat on the couch, Konnie sitting next to her. The human kept glancing at that short tail, raising an eyebrow.

“So… Can I ask you something?” Xandria asked. “I don’t know if it’s rude question or whatever, kinda just curious.” Konnie nodded. “Yeah, sure.” “Does having a tail ever bother you? Actually, is it the only thing you got from your beastman dad? Or was it your mom that was a beastman, I forgot.” “It, uh… My dad. And it’s just the tail, yeah. Doesn’t usually bother me as long as it doesn’t get pulled.” “Ouch. Sounds like that’d hurt.” “Like a bitch.” Konnie agreed, shaking her head.

The conversation progressed from tails to classes, the two reminiscing over the past school year. Konnie had to admit, she’d spent a lot of time with Xandria ever since starting over at a new high school. She still talked to a few people from middle school, but rarely. It had been tough to keep up when she had classes to focus on, and new peers on top of that. But Xandria hadn’t been so bad. She’d stuck up for Konnie when an older classmate had teased her about her tail. Or, in other words, she’d held Konnie back from immediately pummeling the asshole who called her a “dirty mutt”. They’d worked on a couple projects together, although they’d always met up at Konnie’s house during the school year.  Xandria had been uplifting and insightful, always trying to say the right things to cheer Konnie up. Probably why Konnie had found herself venting about her father to her new friend for the past year.

Although, after meeting Maize online, Konnie had a new outlet. In fact, that was part of the reason why she met up with Xandria today. She had something to tell her, and after a month of final exams and end-of-the-year projects for school, she hadn’t gotten the proper chance until now.

“Oh yeah, did you hear about some of the seniors that graduated?” Xandria asked. “Apparently some of them got arrested for this big party they hosted. Guess someone’s parents were out of town.” “Oh shit.” Konnie raised an eyebrow. “They got arrested?” “It’s what I heard. Probably won’t be too severe, but you know. Wonder what they were doing to get arrested.” “Drugs?” Xandria chuckled. “Who knows? Gonna miss those guys, though. They were funny.” “You hung out with the seniors?” “A little bit. I hang out with almost everyone, really.”

With a shrug, Xandria leaned back against the cushions of the couch, flipping through the TV channels until a cartoon popped up. A better backdrop than a news segment, in Konnie’s opinion. Hearing footsteps down the hall, Konnie turned and saw a young girl running down the stairs, who turned to the kitchen without greeting either of the teenage girls.

“That your sister?” Konnie asked. Xandria nodded, raising her voice. “Tammy! You want to meet someone?”

The young girl soon entered the living room, looking at Konnie with curiosity. A pair of ribbons tied off her blue pigtails, her hand stuffed into the pockets of her shorts. Konnie gave her a little smile and a wave, and Tammy’s eyes immediately locked on her tail.

“Can I touch it?” She asked. “Uh…” Konnie furrowed her brow. “Nah, I don’t let people touch it.” “Please?” “Tam.” Xandria muttered. “She said no.” Tammy pouted. “Fine, fine. You’re Konnie, right? The furry?”

Konnie nearly choked. Wow, this kid sure had a way with words. Turning back to Xandria, Konnie figured now would be the best time to broach the subject on her mind.

“Hey, can I talk to you?” She asked. “Like, somewhere private?” “Shoot, uh…” Xandria paused, before getting up. “Here, follow me.”

The two girls went upstairs, Xandria leading the way to a modest bedroom. A bunk bed sat in the corner, a mixed array of belongings strewn about. Some makeup, an unfinished wooden sculpture, a computer desk strewn with odds and ends, and a pair of backpacks hung on a rack attached to the door, just to name a few. On the bottom bunk, a boy sat idly scrolling through his phone, immediately sitting up once Xandria and Konnie entered the room. He glanced between the two of them, quietly nodding to Konnie.

“Hey Mikon.” Konnie waved, giving him a smile. “Any summer plans?” Mikon shook his head, not saying anything. “Was wondering,” Xandria then asked, “Didn’t you say you were going out today?” He nodded. “Did you need me to leave now?” “We just need some privacy, but if you’re not ready—”

Mikon got up and grabbed his shoes, slipping them on and leaving with only a few more words to Xandria. Konnie watched him leave. A part of her had hoped to talk to him a bit, too. She’d seen far less of Mikon than she expected, especially when he was Xandria’s twin. Did she do something to offend him during the school year? Konnie couldn’t recall. Hell, she couldn’t recall speaking much with Mikon at all, so she doubted it was anything she’d said to him. Maybe he was just shy.

Xandria grabbed some pillows and laid them on the floor, giving them both some cushions to sit on. Sitting cross-legged on the floor, Konnie took a deep breath. She couldn’t believe she was even about to say this.

“So… What’s up?” Xandria asked. Konnie paused, before speaking up. “I… I really like you. As a friend, I mean. You’ve been really kind and patient with me this whole fuckin’ year, and, like, I’ve never had a friend who’s done that.” “Really?” “Nah. Always been hard to keep ‘em, cause, well… I tend to scare them off by getting really pissed and shouting. And, I’m glad that’s not an issue with us! Like, you’re always so patient whenever I lose my cool, and I think I owe you an explanation for why I actually act that way.” “I mean, you should see me when I have to deal with my mom. You want to really see patience?” Xandria scoffed, before going on. But, yeah. You said you had a lot of anger issues in the past, right? Figured it was the least I could do to give you a chance.” “I mean, you know how many times I’ve gotten in trouble for fighting people?” Konnie went on. “Damn near got myself expelled over it. But like, you’ve always been good at not letting it get out of hand, so… I guess what I’m trying to say is, I trust you? And I want to tell you something about me that I’m, well… Technically not supposed to even say to people?

At that, Xandria tilted her head. Her brow furrowed somewhat. Konnie bit her lip, steeling herself. She could only hope her friend would believe this, let alone respect it.

“I’m… I’m not human.” “Yeah, you told me.” Xandria nodded. “Half-beastman.” “No, not half-beastman. I’m not even fully an Earthling, is what I’m saying.” Konnie reiterated. “I know I tell people I’m adopted, but I’m not. Okkoro and Serenity are my biological parents. And… My dad’s an alien.” “...You’re kidding.” “I’m dead serious.” “An alien? Your dad?” Xandria raised an eyebrow. “He looks human enough. And I've never seen a tail on him before.” “He, he’s not human. I know I can’t prove this, but… Gods, I’m not doing a good job at confessing this, am I?” Konnie pinched the bridge of her nose. “I’m half-human, half-Saiyan. That’s why I have this tail. My dad’s from space, and I don’t know why he decided to live here, but he did. And a lot of my anger issues kinda spiral from me being a Saiyan, according to him.. He's always said they have a lot of natural rage, which I must have inherited from him.” “How does that even work?” “I don’t know! But I couldn’t get it out of my head, and I just felt like… Like I should tell you. Because you’re the only friend I’ve got who actually seems like they’ll believe me!”

Xandria didn’t speak for a moment. Konnie could only wonder what she might be thinking. Maybe she thought the half-Saiyan was crazy. Maybe she wouldn’t believe a word. Maybe Konnie had just ruined the start of a good friendship. She bit her lip, resisting the urge to shout. Xandria needed a minute to respond, and taking a few controlled breaths, Konnie kept quiet and gave her that minute.

“...You know, I don’t tell people this either,” Xandria finally said, “But, I guess… I’m not that opposed to it?” “What do you mean?” “Shit, maybe that’s a bad word to use. This sounds ridiculous, but I actually do believe in magic. Like, Earth magic, I mean. Don’t know shit about space.” “You, you do?” Xandria shrugged. “Always have. Like the myths about the Dragon Balls, and creatures that walk the planet. All the tales that we normies don’t get to hear about in our cities and towns. Always believed there’s more to all that than tall tales.” “Why, though?” “Just do, I guess. Hard to explain.” “So…” Konnie went on. “You’re, you’re cool with the whole Saiyan thing?” “Sure? Don’t know a thing about what it could mean, but I don’t see why we can’t be friends because of it.” Xandria nodded.

Her heart soared. On an impulse, Konnie threw her arms around Xandria and pulled her into a hug. Freezing for a second, the human hugged her back. 

“Is it just the tail that’s… Saiyan?” Xandria asked. Konnie shook her head, pulling back and baring her sharp teeth. “Nah. You should see my dad’s teeth.” “Going to the dentist must be fun, huh?” “Tell me about it! It’s a miracle I don’t need braces.”

The sound of the front door closing briefly interrupted them. Xandria glanced to the door of the bedroom just as it burst open, Tammy poking her head in.

“Xan!” She said. “Mom just came home.” “Already? She said she’d be home in the evening.” Tammy shrugged. “Mikon’s talking to her.” “Shit…” Xandria shook her head, turning to Konnie. “Sorry. I think you should go.” Getting up, Konnie let Xandria leave first, taking a moment to make sure she wasn’t forgetting anything. Tammy didn’t leave, however, hurrying over to Konnie and whispering something in her ear.

“I overheard you guys while I was in the bathroom.” She said. “You’re a real alien?” “I… You heard that?” Konnie exclaimed. “Why were you listening to us?” “Thin walls, sorry. You’re still really cool! Have you ever met a fairy before?” “Uh, no.” Tammy pouted. “Maybe you will, one day. Can you come back soon?” “I’ll try.” Konnie told her, heading downstairs. “Say goodbye to Xan and Mikon for me, okay?”

As she headed down the stairs, Konnie grabbed her sweater and umbrella from where she’d left them in the living room. In the kitchen, she overheard Xandria talking to an unfamiliar woman. Out of curiosity, she took a peek, seeing an older woman with the same pink hair as Mikon and Xandria, pulled back into a tight ponytail. A rumpled lab coat sat over her shoulders. Xandria and Mikon stood with their backs to the kitchen entryway, Xandria’s arms crossed and Mikon’s head turned towards the floor. 

For a brief moment, Konnie met eyes with Xandria’s mother, their violet hues matching Tammy’s. She regarded the half-Saiyan for a split second, her gaze the coldest Konnie had ever seen thus far. Not wanting to eavesdrop, she hurried out the door and back into the rain, making her way down the Central City streets and back to her home. She couldn’t get those eyes out of her mind, though. But why? Come to think of it, this had been the first time she’d met Xandria’s mother, or even heard of her. Konnie hadn’t realized that her friend had never spoken of her parents, not even once during this past school year. Maybe it was just jarring, having her get-together with Xandria cut so short. 

Konnie shook her head, turning her attention towards home. It was summer, after all, and she had a lot of free time on her hands. Maybe she could talk to Maize! She’d missed her chance to tell Xandria about her new friend, but at least she got the whole Saiyan thing off her chest.

*****

kawaii-dipshit: And he hasn’t come back? BloomingSkies: No, that’s why I’m asking if you’ve seen him since you came over the other day. kawaii-dipshit: I’m so sorry, I haven’t. Mikon and I barely talk tbh. Where’d you last see him? BloomingSkies: Last night. He left and he hasn’t come back, and it’s nearly 3:30. He would at least text me if he was okay! BloomingSkies: I’m scared something happened BloomingSkies: I’m gonna call the police kawaii-dipshit: you think it’s that serious? BloomingSkies: YES OF COURSE I DO BloomingSkies: sorry sorry… BloomingSkies: I don’t want to talk about what it was about, but he and I got into a fight over something. It was last night. I think I upset him, but I still think he’d text me back by now. It’s not like him to just ignore me like this even when he is angry at me kawaii-dipshit: I’m so sorry Xan kawaii-dipshit: Hopefully he’ll be okay. Any idea where he hangs out? BloomingSkies: It… BloomingSkies: It’s part of what I don’t want to talk about kawaii-dipshit: Okay kawaii-dipshit: Do you want to come over for a bit? I can ask my parents. Bring Tammy if you need to. BloomingSkies: What if he comes back though? kawaii-dipshit: Fair point kawaii-disphit: I definitely think you should call the authorities though. And your parents BloomingSkies: Mom said she can’t afford to take time off right now. It’s kinda why I texted you kawaii-dipshit: Oh my fucking god WHAT????BloomingSkies: That’s not surprising but she's like that. It’s a long story BloomingSkies: And Tammy’s crying about it… BloomingSkies: I need to go kawaii-dipshit: I understand. I’ll be here if you need to talk. Hoping he’ll be home soon BloomingSkies: Same here. Thanks, Konnie. BloomingSkies: And… About what you told me. I just wanted to say, I really do believe you. BloomingSkies: Wasn’t sure if it seemed genuine when you were here last time kawaii-dipshit: It did! And thanks kawaii-dipshit: I have to go. Hang in there. Invitation is still open too, just let me know so I can ask my mom kawaii-dipshit: Should I not tell her about Mikon or what BloomingSkies: I don’t care either way, just don’t talk about my mom BloomingSkies: That’s enough of a headache kawaii-dipshit: Alright kawaii-dipshit: I’ll check on you when I get home I promise

[fuckstories]

Murphy's Smokes, by Poppar Parthing

Murph...smoked. She hated cigarette's though. Her doctor said she should have quit years ago, but Murph...didn't give a fuck. She smoked whenever she damn well pleased, which was always. Murphy...was her name. When she was little her daddy called her 'Little Murph'. When she grew up people called her Murph...and nobody ever called her anything else. Yep.

Murphy...smoked. She did this thing sometimes where she would come across a piece of shit and say, "Hey. Shit." She never said it to any humans though – only the shit. She smoked with a shit in her mouth, if she had one handy or not. And it didn't matter what type of shit she had in her mouth, the shit...would always taste like shit. She liked smoking with a shit. A really shitty piece of shit.

One time Murphy...had the strangest thought...She thought, What if I swallowed some shit? What would it taste like? It tasted terrible...so...she spit it up. Then she threw up all night and all day. Murphy...thought about drinking the shit...then she decided to wait a day before doing that. Murphy...never drank shit. Not since she was in diapers anyway.

The next morning Murphy...smoked cigarettes with a shit in her mouth again. The shit smelled like old cheese and wet dog hair. And after the smoke was gone – so was the shitty taste. The smoke made it better.

One day Murphy...smoked a pack and a half with the same shitty shit in her mouth. But Murphy...was tired of smoking shit. It smelled and tasted horrible. So, she asked the other prisoners...to help her. They all agreed to help and so they took a shit in a cup of water and passed it around. It felt much better than just smoking. They couldn't smell and taste their own shit. Then they took another shit.

That day Murphy...and a few other inmates...took a shit for each prisoner. They saved the biggest shit for the last and the taste was disgusting. Murphy...sighed when it was all over and she felt much better now. It took weeks to get all the shit out of her system though.

It's almost time for her...release...

By Gary Glitter.

Gary Glitter...was as insane as he looked and that made him a little crazy. The reason why he had on this stupid pointy hat and a big long white coat...was because he was a doctor. He didn't really know a lot about medicine. Gary didn't know anything except what he saw in the movies and on the show 'Tiny Puke.' It was a cartoon and Gary liked it because of the funny characters and weird names like Tiny Puke and his friends.

Gary...didn't know much, but he was going to be a doctor someday. In fact Gary was probably the smartest man in the fucking galaxy – well maybe the most intelligent man anyway. That was good enough for Gary though. He was smart enough to know how much he didn't know, and that meant he had a lot more knowledge than a lot of people.

The one thing that Gary did know about was...releasing. So that's exactly what he planned to do.

Gary Glitter knew Murph through his telescope. They never actually met or talked...but saw her smoke with shit every day . He saw her every day with that horrible cigarette in her mouth – she looked just like a disgusting horse. He really wanted her to quit smoking though. It was unhealthy to breathe that kind of shit in...right? It wasn't good to eat shit either. He thought about Murph all day long, and wished that one day she would stop smoking with a shitty cigarette. He wished that one day he could release her...so she couldn't smoke anymore.

One day Gary Glitter...sat on his bench all day looking at the aliens in the park, thinking about how much he loved them. And then...he decided he could make this dream of his come true. He took the biggest shit he could get from inside him and mixed it with water. Then he put it into a test tube. After it was mixed, Gary took some tape and wrapped up the end of the test tube.

Gary thought he did an okay job...so...he went to the prison and told Murph...about his idea. She didn't know what he was talking about at first...but then she realized that he wanted to release her from her shit.

That's when he took out the test tube full of shit and said, "You're going to be a beautiful woman again."

Murph...was confused because she thought she looked beautiful just as she was. Then Gary said that he found the perfect way to make her beautiful.

After she smelled it, Murp...got angry and kicked Gary in the balls and said, "I don't care how much you want to do this or why – I won't let you release me from my shit smoking habits! Get away from me asshole!"

Then she spit at Gary's face...and slapped him in the face so hard it knocked him into a table full of weird paintings. Then she laughed because she had pissed him off...and spit on his stupid white coat again. Then she grabbed his head with her hands and pressed a dirty brown finger up against his lips. "This is your fault. You stupid fucker...and you'll never see another day outside these walls as long as I'm alive."

Gary...cried and cried...because he had failed. He knew that he would never be a real doctor now. But then he looked up to the sky and saw a giant bird. It looked like a golden eagle and it stared down at him. His name was El Diablo. The devil, El Diablo. Gary felt an energy come out of the ground, and when he touched the bird with his hand...it turned into an angel. The angel looked a lot like Gary too...because he was made of the same thing...shit.

The angel was very kind to Gary, and took him by the hand and led him outside of the prison...never to return again. The angel told Gary that the world was not his anymore, because the angels and devils were there to take over the earth. And shit was a big part of their lives.

"Why is shit important?" Gary asked the angel...because he really didn't know why they used it. The angel responded to his question by saying, "To me? Shit makes my wings strong. So I can fly and swoop down to deliver babies to mother Earth."

El Diablo...waved to Murphy while she smoked her cigarette and smiled.

El Diablo waved to Murph while she smoked her cigarette and smiled.

Gary Glitter...had never seen her smile before, and thought he could learn something from this alien bird. Then he got so scared and excited about what the angel had said that he fell on his back...and began to cry. When El Diablo saw this...he felt sorry for Gary and decided to show him a new world. A world of angels and devils.

[youngerfrankenstein]

Oh boy. I hate to say a lot of it is just… vibe? (I hate using that term) But I’ll try?

I think a big part of it for me in the specific case of Transformers is just the fact they are POV characters, like I don’t care about what’s happening to some rando kid at school when I COULD be seeing more of the giant robots y’know? The small-scale issues should add to the drama but for me they tend to detract from it.

And, this is a me problem, unless the tone is very silly I will never buy that kids from a world that’s supposed to be ours can stand on any sort of even ground with giant alien robots. I can buy kid warriors in fantasy stories or often when they’re protagonists. Because sure, I’ll watch them grow, but when I see what are supposed to be regular human kids complain they don’t get to go help fight the bad alien robots I want to pick them up by the scruff of the neck and shake them.

I… really never thought I’d say this but I sort of miss Sari. Yeah she had similar problems, but the tone of the series excused it far better. And she was annoying but had plenty of personality.

The Prime kids sucked. I want to burn 90% of child genius characters alive, the trope sucks and the character was boring. Not as boring as Jack mind you, who was one of the most soulless “insert yourself here” characters I have ever seen (and he was then told he should join the military! I WONDER WHAT THIS COULD BE SAYING Prime was so right-wing dang) Miko was annoying and and bratty but at least there was something to her and her friendship with Bulkhead felt real.

The Malto kids have a big problem, and it’s a problem that the whole of EarthSpark suffers from, and it’s that they’re painfully schmaltzy. My GOD. Their family is so idyllic I want to PUKE. And the fact that we HAVE robot kids. We have FIVE of them now! I would like to see more of them rather than having to keep the human kids around.

I also just have… a LOT of problems with EarthSpark’s writing in general (and the writing of most I’ve seen but I do think more with this one) which I’ll get out when I finish it (hopefully tomorrow) and do my write-up. Long story short I think there’s a diamond in there SOMEWHERE, there’s just a lot of rough around it.

The funny thing is though, I do like some of the adult humans? Fanzone made me smile (I like the grumpy ones), I actually really liked June for some reason, and while Alex and Dot definitely have too much schmaltz I enjoy their screentime a lot more than that of their kids (also the agent dude is hilarious I need him in all Transformers media now).

KEEP IN MIND THOUGH, these are the ramblings of a dead-inside late-20-something who watches cartoon robots to feel an emotion. Even if that emotion is annoyance.

If you want to write kid characters that kids will love, well, ask kids! Ask what they’d like to see in a character. I will give you one thing though. I’m pretty sure kids LOVE to be cool.

Anyway, this is just me being a grump. I hope you at least enjoy them. And I hope this nonsense makes at least a little bit of sense.

I have a proposal on how to improve the Transformers cartoons.

A Modest Proposal,

if you will.