"Oh, this? Don't be ridiculous! It's not a marriage certificate! Look closely, okay? Throw away all your hangups, and simply do what you feel. Aren't you just dying to sign it? Won't it feel good? 3... 2... 1... sign!"
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sorry but do you ever think about the fact that the bernard we have today is a direct amalgamation of everything that happened in his past and i know that sound like such an obvious statement to say but it actually kills me to know that you can draw a direct line from who he is today all the way back to that sixteen year old boy who watched his best friend bleed out. like it is the defining moment in his life. it fundamentally shaped who he is and the person he's become. he is the bernard we know and love not despite the grieves shooting but because of it. because the gangs all got together and shot up his school. because tim walked out of that room with nothing but a baseball bat. because his darla got shot. because he watched her gasp and cry as she died. because he watched the blood coagulate around the wound. because he sat there and held her hand as her life drained out of her. because he walked into school that day with a joke he knew would make her laugh and her nose would scrunch up and she'd snort a little and tim would roll his eyes at him and call him ridiculous and instead he walked out with a bloody white shirt, blood under his fingernails, and two friends less. because, even now, almost half a decade out from the shooting, he thinks that if he closes his eyes, he will always be that stupid, scared little sixteen year old, holding the cooling body of dead best friend.
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merrill dragon age isn't The Character in terms of being the guy with the juiciest backstory details or protagonist material but she is The Person. The Heart. she was working on one of the most important researches of elven history and no one believed in her. not her keeper, her teacher and mother figure. nor her clan, the only family she's ever had. nor hawke's friends, the only people who were surrounding her for six years. the only person who can actually place their faith in her is hawke but if they don't she won't mind. she is used to it, being on her own. and, despite everything, she believes in people. she knows it matters. better than anyone.
she has never heard a nice word from fenris, but she still tries to cheer him up from time to time. she has never heard a nice word from anders either and she still feels for him. varric annoys her when he tries to distract her from the eluvian, but she appreciates it because she knows he means well. aveline refers to her work as senseless and potentially dangerous for the city, but she is still happy for her when she falls in love.
if hawke sides with mages in the last straw merrill is the first to support them. "I believe in you, hawke", she says, when everyone else is consumed by doubt. and then she's the only one who openly suggests sparing anders. so he can put things right.
she knows the feeling. when you're on your own and everyone thinks you're beyond salvation, undeserving of compassion or understanding. and this is the best she can offer for people she cares about: her unconditional faith, her sympathy, a second chance. the things she was desparately looking for and never had. she believes in people because she knows: there's no one else to believe in them
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countdown to dawntrail - endwalker
as fragmented, imperfect beings, yours is a never-ending quest:
a quest to find your purpose, knowing your end is assured;
to find the strength to continue, when all strength has left you;
to find joy, even as darkness descends and...
amidst deepest despair...
light everlasting.
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Absolutely love the direction Massive Monster took with the bishops this update, ESPECIALLY Shamura, they’re SO similar to the Norse god Odin (also a god of wisdom) like they both are presidents of the club of ‘fucked around and found out and made it everyone else’s problem’
Like, what an insane mad scientist archetype they are, encouraging Narinder to destroy the laws of nature because they were oh so curious as to what would happen too, and what happened was bad trouble on the horizon and family drama out the whazoo, like most real world mythologies you read about. Idk I just love how connected this game feels to real life mythologies, with a good dose of cosmic horror beyond our comprehensions to taste. It’s like kid me and adult me boiled our interests and collective religious trauma together and Cult of the Lamb got spat out, this game is so perfectly tailored to my little gremlin brain.
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I've been thinking about the tragedy of Elizabeth Woodville living to see the end of her family name.
I don't mean her family with her husband, which lived on through her daughter and grandson. I mean her own.
Her sisters died, one by one, many of them after 1485. When Elizabeth died, only Katherine was left, and she would die before the turn of the century as well.
All her brothers died, too. Lewis died in childhood. John was executed. Anthony was murdered. Lionel died suddenly in the peak of Richard's reign, unable to see his niece become queen. Edward perished at war. Richard died in grieving peace. For all the violence and judgement the family endured, it was "an accident of biology" that ended their line: none of the brothers left heirs, and the Woodville name was extinguished. We know the family was aware of this. We know they mourned it, too:
“Buy a bell to be a tenor at Grafton to the bells now there, for a remembrance of the last of my blood.”
Elizabeth lived through the deposition and death of her young sons, and lived to see the end of her own family name. It must have been such a haunting loss, on both sides.
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Said to myself "i should draw a quick little sketch something simple and painless to try out those new pencils" as if i could ever draw without creating horrors
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