#she owns a platypus.

[whoslaurapalmer]

I desperately want to go back to 2007 and ask 13 year old me why DEIDARA was the only character I gave a cell phone to

[mammalsofaction]

Y'know what would be really funny? If each of the Flynn Fletcher siblings KNOW/have suspicions about Perry's secret, but they each keep it to themselves for individual reasons. It's been pointed out before that Perry can get REALLY reckless sometimes, and other times the boys are too clever/know Perry way too well.

-CANDACE has actually seen and interacted with Perry in secret agent mode, particularly during the time she thought she was high off her rocker and Perry had to save her from a self destructing volcano. She's had dreams where Perry was a secret agent in them.

-She doesn't bring it up or think about it much bc she just has like. A lot of other more pressing priorities most of the time, which is so valid. Also I lowkey thinks she suspects she's got a hallucination problem, like with the Zebra? I get why she doesn't talk about it out loud: she sounds crazy enough to her mother as is without suddenly talking about how their exotic pet is a sentient secret agent in a fedora.

-FERB figured it out almost immediately that day he and Phineas accidentally fell into Perry's lair and they pretended to be "secret agents" for the day. HE knows he didnt make that lair. Everything was almost toddler sized, but functionally and professionally equipped for a working adult. There were only two "P" s in the family, and it clearly wasn't Phineas. Also? Everything was Platypus themed. He put two and two together.

-I figure he doesn't talk about it bc he lowkey knows why Perry doesn't tell them. He and Phineas have a lot of faith in Perry, and Ferb is a lot less emotional. If Perry refuses to tell them about his double life and where he goes, hes just gonna trust him.

-Im pretty sure PHINEAS subconsciously knows about the secret agent thing. From where? Africa. He 💯 spotted Perry in secret agent mode on the other side of the gulf while hanging from that vine, and between his siblings Phineas is CLEARLY the one who knows what Perry looks like best. He can pick Perry out from colour and smell from every other brown eyed teal platypus in the entire tri-state area. He not only recognizes his paw prints: he knows Perry's healthy weight distribution on them to know whether or not hes injured or limping. Like....my boy can be oblivious and autistic 98% of the time, but Phin is also REALLY self aware and trusting of his own eyes and instincts.

-He doesn't talk about it because hes in denial 👍

[maddymoreau]

[nuttyrabbit]

So I decided to put together an IDW Sonic characterization tier list. It got a bit harder than I thought

[misceroni-and-cheese]

just another manic Monday… I miss sigma sunday... just another torturous tuesday… how about women wednesday… I love trans women thursday… can’t wait for so cool women saturday..

[misceroni-and-cheese]

I thought my cat was holding out on me for a sec

[dizplicity-draws]

Happy asexual awareness week!

I wanted to celebrate with these aspec icons 🖤🩶🤍💜

Characters and their canon sexuality explanations under the cut!

From left to right:

Peridot - Steven Universe: canon asexual aromantic. Peridot was confirmed to be aroace by Maya Peterson, a storyboard artist for the show. She said in a post on Twitter, “She’s not about fusion. She’s the ace and aro rep.” And true to her words, in the episode Log Date 7 15 2, peridot was shown to have a disinterest in fusion in a scene where she backed out of fusing with Garnet. I know fusion isn’t a direct allegory to romance or sex, but as an aspec person, this scene was super relatable. Also, my personal headcanon is that she is in a queer platonic relationship (qpr) with Lapis :)

Perry the Platypus - Phineas and Ferb: canon asexual. Perry was confirmed to be asexual by Dan Povenmire, a co-creator of the show. He confirmed this in a comment on TikTok, where someone asked “Hey is Perry part of LGBTQ+”, to which he replied, “Does asexual count?” Some believe he only said this because he didn’t like the idea of Perry being shipped. But that doesn’t mean we can’t still claim him!

SpongeBob - SpongeBob SquarePants: Canon asexual. In 2002, Stephen Hillenburg, the creator of SpongeBob said, “I always think of [the character] as being somewhat asexual.” Technically, this was not said as a positive reference to asexuality, but in order to deny that the character was gay. However, Nickelodeon later posted a pride month post featuring a few lgbt+ characters and SpongeBob was included. A lot of people, including myself, chose to believe this was meant to be in support of SpongeBob being canonically asexual.

Zim - Invader Zim: This one is just my own headcanon, but I wanted to include him because he’s a character that’s very important to me and, as an ace, I have always related to. Also, it’s shown in episode 3, Parent Teacher Night, that irkens reproduce by cloning rather than any natural means. And while I know that doesn’t really prove anything, I think it does add to my headcanon :)

Alastor - Hazbin Hotel: Canon asexual aromantic. Vivziepop, the creator of Hazbin Hotel first confirmed Alastor as being ace when she posted a drawing for national coming out day in 2018, which featured Alastor holding the asexual pride flag. Later, she confirmed during a Q&A that he is canonically asexual. During season 1 of Hazbin Hotel, Rosie, Alastor’s friend, jokingly calls him an “ace in the hole.”

[moonyasnow]

Ship intro: Mallina

Fics:

Malleus and a Reader who's just as lonely as him

Your[Irina's] latest ‘friends’ turn out to be trash. Their words lead you down a terrible descent. At least someone is willing to reach out to you.

Spotify List:

IT'S TIMELINE TIME

I'VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR THIS YOU HAVE NO IDEA

This is just a basic timeline though; I'm leaving out a fair bit of detail.

Also added in random things I've written so if it feels a little bit disjointed in some areas, that's why.

T I M E L I N E :

How they meet:

Book 2

One night she'd just been laying in bed unable to sleep, hearing the distant whispers of her parents fighting at the edges of her mind like usual, and deciding to go outside just to escape the confined room and get some kind of distraction from hearing them. She was incredibly startled hearing someone suddenly call out to her, having been too stuck in her own thoughts to notice him approaching like she usually could. She was honestly scared at first, though mostly as a result of being caught with her guard down, which she usually never was.

But as soon as she properly looked into his eyes, all that fear suddenly seemed to fade away in an instant. She didn't know why, but she suddenly started to feel relaxed in his presence, more so than she usually ever did. And she felt almost sad when he disappeared. But she told herself off for it; that was the first time she'd ever met him after all, and she didn't even know his name. But since he'd said she could call him whatever she wanted…

She'd call him Peridot, after the color of his eyes. 'Peri' for short.

Tomoe's first reaction to the name 'Peri' was to laugh, explaining that it made her think of Perry the Platypus. And once she'd also had the thought, Irina couldn't help but laugh too, 'Peri' being exchanged for 'Perry' in her mind after that point.

Book 3

She ended up being asked by some Student or other if she'd thought about joining a club yet. She hadn't, not even really knowing which clubs actually existed. And so she decided to take a look to see if anything seemed interesting; she had a lot more free time after being fired from her job anyway. When she saw that there was a 'Gargoyle Appreciation Club' and that it had only one member, she knew instantly who that must be, and decided to join it. Irina joins Gargoyle Studies Club

Then Irina goes to the Harveston Sledathon!

This is the first time they'd really gone without being ABLE to spend time with each other and go on their nightly walks.

Book 4

When Lilia showed up to give her the postcard, she knew who it must have been from. And so she asked Lilia to wait for a second, rushing into her room to get a box, with a letter attached, which she asked him to give to the sender of the postcard. It was a birthday gift for her friend Peridot; a clay tea pot, its spout designed to look like a little dragon, the handle on the opposite end sculpted into the shape of a scaly tail. The letter contained not only wishes for him to have a happy birthday, but also an explanation of the spout. She wanted to give him a Gargoyle as a gift, but she also wanted to make sure it was an actual Gargoyle, with a clear purpose, rather than just a decorative Grotesque. So she settled on a tea pot! Since it serves as the spout, the 'needs water spout' element of a Gargoyle was cleared, as well.

She wasn't there to see it, but when he got her gift and read the letter, he was so beside himself with joy that for the first time in at least a century, there was sunshine in Briar Valley. Not only was it a birthday gift from his best friend, hand-crafted no less, it was also incredibly thoughtful, proof to him that she'd been listening and paying attention to every single word of all his rambles about his beloved Gargoyles. The next time they met again, before any words could be spoken he quite literally picked her up off the ground and spun her around as a way to say 'thank you'. That was the moment she admitted to herself that she'd fallen in love with him.

He ended up insisting on them drinking at least one cup of tea for all their club meetings after this point, so he got a chance to use it. And he also insisted on the same for every single Housewarden meeting he went to, which he'd started to actually know the times and places of thanks to Irina knowing through Tomoe and telling him. If he'd had any less decorum he would have literally shoved the pot in the face of random people in the halls; he was that happy about it.

Book 5

The invitation and everyone who didn't already know finding out about their friendship

She's also the one who gives Malleus the tickets to the SDC. For their booth at the cultural festival Irina made a bunch of small clay figurines of Grotesques and then wrote above them the differences between them and Gargoyles, to educate people.

When Tomoe meets Malleus for the first time, she lightly teases Irina, asking "So this is the famous 'Perry the Platypus."' Irina got very embarrassed, and Malleus, eyes wide with surprise, asked if that was meant to refer to him. Irina, face burning with embarrassment, then explains the name and its connection to a certain animated Platypus spy, but also says her nickname for him was actually supposed to be short for Peridot. It ended with Malleus bursting out laughing right then and there, Irina, still embarrassed, saying: "W-was it really that funny?" It then becomes a recurring inside joke of him calling himself 'her platypus friend'.

When Malleus began to fix the stage, not being used to magic and thus a bit scared at first, Irina moved close to his side out of reflex, feeling safer there. It made him really happy to think that for once, not only was there someone who wasn't afraid of him, but she even felt safe around him. Though she became very flustered when she realized she'd been gripping onto his jacket arm.

After this, she starts referring to him as both 'Peri' and also 'Malleus'. He can't decide which one he likes more: the nickname, or her calling his name. (by this point he is just as head over heels for her as she is for him. But he still hasn't figured out why sometimes, she does something that makes him so happy it literally makes his chest hurt and gives him goosebumps. He just hasn't realized why yet)

They have their first Sleepover! I wrote an actual fic about it here! 👀

Book 6

She stays behind at NRC, staying in an unoccupied room at Diasomnia and waiting for Tomoe, Grim and everyone else to come back. Just as she's starting to settle into the bed in the room, she gets a knock on her door. It was Malleus. As soon as she saw him, she basically launched herself into his arms. And he embraced her as though he'd been expecting her to do just that. He walked further into her room and closed the door, then just picked her up, and laid the both of them in the bed and used his magic to cover them with the blanket, not wanting either of his arms to let go of her for even a second.

She was incredibly worried, and disoriented— one of her best friends (Jamil) and the closest thing she had to a family (Tomoe and Grim) were gone, and her other best friend (Ruggie) was visibly stressed and very busy trying to manage his dorm while his Housewarden was gone. So everyone she was close to except for Malleus was unable to be there for her when it felt to her like the entire world was falling apart. And she's not used to things going back to normal when it starts to feel like that. Even if she knew where they were, to someone with such bad abandonment issues as her, who is so dependent on the people in her life and has such bad separation anxiety, she wasn't handling it well. When Malleus offered her a room in Diasomnia, she was grateful… But something inside her just felt absolutely horrible when she was given a room that wasn't his room, or anywhere close to his room. She really, really needed him.

She cried into his chest for a long time, holding onto him like he was the only thing keeping her from falling off the edge of the world. And in a way, that's what it felt like to her. She called out his name between her sobbing, and each time, he replied with an "I am here" and held her a little tighter. When she finally fell asleep, he was holder her so tightly it almost hurt. That was exactly what she needed. After she'd fallen asleep, he kissed the top of her head, and vowed to himself that he would never ever make her feel like that; he'd never leave her side for as long as he lived.

Glorious Masquerade

"My lady," he bent down as far as he could without hurting his back, and placed a kiss to the back of her hand. "May I have this dance?"

He lifted her by her waist, spinning her around. Looking up to see her surprised face as she held onto his shoulders to keep herself upright, he felt utterly breathless. The smile that formed on her face, accompanied by the rare, breathy sound of her laugh, shot through his heart like a spear. When he gently let her down onto the ground again to continue their dance, there came that feeling again. That indescribable urge of wanting to take her by the hand and guide her to someplace they could spend time just the two of them, to do…something. No matter how he tried, that 'something' refused to make itself clear to him, leaving him struggling ceaselessly to understand the very nature of that urge. And so, he did not act on it. For he did not know what it even was he wished to act upon.

Even with her mask crooked on her face and her hair disheveled, he thought her beauty greater than that of any painting he had ever seen. Not even within Briar Valley's uncountable collection of art could there be one which came even close to what he saw before him in that moment. Nor could any poem, written in any language, living or dead, adequately put it into words.

Coming back, his eyes were locked on her all the while. And as they were, he saw her begin to talk to someone. When he came within earshot he heard:

"Will you dance with me?" The boy in front of her, one from Noble Bell whom he did not recognize, was blushing, looking terribly flustered, even shy. The image sickened him. In seconds, a terrible storm began to pick up outside. Who was he? What right did he have to look at Irina, at his Child of Man, that way? None. Malleus was better. More worthy of her attention. So why did he feel so threatened by that nameless boy? As though someone was trying to yank away the one precious thing he cherished more than anything; his one and only friend. That boy probably had friends of his own. Why couldn't he go be with them, instead? Irina was his friend. His.

He walked over with a steely gaze, no doubt frightening any poor souls he passed by near to death. But the moment she noticed his approach, and her guarded body language broke and she nearly lept to be closer to him, wearing that sweet smile, the clouds vanished in an instant. "Peri!"

"My Child of Man." He smiled right back.

The other boy quickly backed off. 'Good.'

"I had a wonderful time. I was happy to spend it with my dearest friend, Irina."

The word 'friend'…had it always come up so…short? He had felt the same once in the past, and brushed it off, too afraid of what it might mean, were they not friends- as though it would mean losing the warmth and joyous sense of familiarity the title brought. Yet the question plagued him more and more, until at last, he found himself unable to merely brush it off as he once had.

It occurred to him that, having no prior reference of what a 'friend' was, or how friends acted with each other, he had no idea if the things they did were things friends would do. Did friends have sleepovers where they shared a bed, holding each other tightly through the night, singing each other to sleep? Did friends feel so possessively about each other as he felt over her? Did friends…sometimes look at each other's lips and wonder if they would be soft to the touch? Did friends wish to spend their every waking moment, now and forever in the future, together?

He didn't know. Irina was the only friend he'd ever had. And she made him happy.

But…he was beginning to wonder if they truly could be called friends at this point.

What were they, if not friends? What lay beyond that title?

Things were fine as they were now, weren't they? He was happy, and so was she. Wasn't that enough? Yet, then…why did he desire for something more?

...

Perhaps he would consult Lilia, after their return to Night Raven.

And so this is where, during a conversation with Lilia about it, he finally starts to realize just what his feelings are. The literal second after realizing he loves her, he starts thinking up a way to propose to her

He's already picking out their kids' names in his mind and mentally decorating their bedroom in Briar Valley's royal castle.

Book 7

She runs to him, who's sitting on the ground, and throws herself around his neck. She's crying.

“I-I-I was— w-was so— sca-red…!” Her voice is shaking and wavering so much from the tears that she can barely speak.

“I…apologize, my dear Child of Man… I know now that my actions were wrong, but it was never my intention to frighten—“

“Th-that's not why!” Uncharacteristically, she cuts him off.

“I was so, so, s-so worried! I thought you could die! I-if I didn't defeat you in time. I-I thought you were going to die! I thought I'd lo-lose you!!!”

Then she just can't hold it in anymore— she starts wailing, just at the mere thought. She holds him tighter.

When she's calmed down enough that there are no longer tears cascading down her face, she pulls back…and she cups his cheeks and pulls him closer so their foreheads touch. “I love you. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you! I—“

He kisses her forehead and holds her closer, tucking her head under his chin and circling his arms tightly around her, apologizing profusely for scaring her so badly. And he kisses her. For a second she just stares at him in shock Before she can really respond, they're interrupted by someone who says they should really get him to a doctor.

After that is another sleepover since Irina can't bear to be apart from him for a while after what happened

Stuff I didn't know where to put:

Quote I'm stealing from @diodellet:

"They're 2 flavors of incapable of vocalizing their feelings but they're willing to share the burden with each other wordlessly"

BECAUSE YES SHE PUT IT SO WELL

Not sure when exactly this would happen, but certainly after they get together. Anyway, here is how I imagine Malleus proposing to her:

And ALSO how the whole 'Malleus is immortal and Irina isn't' thing gets resolved because I REFUSE to let either of them go through that; there are some angst lines even I won't cross

AND A FINAL THING! There's a Swedish song in their spotify list called 'en säng av rosor' (a bed of roses) and I NEED you to know what the lyrics are, so I translated them:

"The glass is half-empty right now Half-full if you'd been here The days they go by but never seem to end I wish I were where you are

The streets echo of you Memories that'll always be there All I say is a film-reel of the two of us I've gotten stuck in our little world

I will make a bed of roses I will light every candle I will play the music That you always sing I will make a bed of roses for you

Stockholm is more grey now The summer passed all too quickly Now Spring is nigh and soon you'll be here I've longed for it more than you'd probably think

I will make a bed of roses I will light every candle I will play the music That you always sing I will make a bed of roses for you

I miss getting stuck with my gaze deep in your eyes The safest place in my lonely word, no questions I can be myself with you; no need for words

I will make a bed of roses I will light every candle I will play the music That you always sing I will make a bed of roses I will light every candle I will play the music That you always sing I will make a bed of roses I will make a bed of roses I will make a bed of roses for you"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Now, I'm not saying I have a favorite ship....

But I have a favorite ship OTL

Tag list:

@another-random-paradise @thehollowwriter @faefum @cactus13-rolloflammesimp @beneathsakurashade

@nyx-of-night @theolivetree123 @babyghoul138 @skibidibabygirl @screamintoad

@gingacat @buttholesparkles @angelwishess

[raining-anonymously]

rewatching pnf season 1 & 2 and here are some of the neurodivergent highlights!

“obsession rocks!!!” said at a moment when candace and stacy were gleefully bonding over their love of the bettys. the joy of new hyperfixation!!!!

“fossils! dun dun dun…” my man lawrence vocal and audio stimming let’s go!

perry crashes in, heinz doesn’t react, perry goes over to heinz and pokes him in the nose, revealing heinz is an inflatable decoy. perry immediately pokes the inflatable nose several more times! autism is stored in the platypus

jeremy tells candace he’ll call her soon, so cancace goes into waiting mode the next morning and tries to find the exact meaning of “soon.”

candace (scared of heights) on a ferris wheel. jeremy asks her what’s wrong and candace wordlessly indicates the drop. she contonues not to speak after jeremy comforts her. loss of speech!

phineas usually displays empathy, but when buford loses biff, phineas shows annoyance and doesn’t seem to empathize. nevertheless, he helps buford both with emotional support and by working to solve the problem. this is because i’m projecting fluctuating empathy onto him and also because empathy ≠ kindness.

baljeet owns a lot of books on a seemingly uninteresting topic (shoelaces). conclusion- he fixated on the topic in the past and got all the information he could find at once!

one of dr. d’s schemes is entirely because he considers the noise outside his building to be too loud and he can’t concentrate. he gets off-topic in conversation and apologizes, blaming his lack of focus on the noise. it’s harder to act neurotypical when you’re sensory overloaded, ok?

at one point heinz tells perry that there’s a tin cup inside his cage for him to play with, specifically because of the sound it makes. perry proceeds to move this tin cup around for a while.

vanessa sensory overloaded by the sound of heinz building vs heinz making incoherent sounds while he builds (vocal stimming!). in a different episode vanessa uses earbuds to deal with her dad making noise.

honorable mention: stacy and candace reading all of sherlock holmes in one night / dressing as the characters the next day

[barblaz-arts]

Did Vega have or have any pets of her own?

yoI imagine her as a child asking for a puppy like any child, but getting something completely different from her Uncle Fester. Something like a Komodo dragon, a rattlesnake, or even a platypus (they're poisonous too!)

WWednesday wouldn't have many complaints, other than making Vega take care of him, but Enid would definitely have a fit knowing that her girl is playing with something poisonous. (Just to remember that it is normal for an Addams)

Maybe later he ends up with a lynx cub as a Christmas gift from Morticia and Gómez...

I actually did plan on showing that Vega has a pet she left with Wednesday and Enid!

Around Vega's seventh birthday, Yoko and Eugene asked her what she wanted. They were determined to one up each other as godparents. Unfortunately Vega wished for an alien friend. Eugene got her the alien plushy she carries around.

But Yoko got her one of these bad boys.

Apparently, since it looked like ET, she figured it was good enough, and Vega absolutely loved him. He's named TOI-1338 b, which was the planet recently discovered by a 17 yr old NASA intern, whose brother wanted to name it Wolftopia. Enid just decided to nickname him "Theo"(Tee-yow). Wednesday calls him by his full government name.

Yoko asked Enid and Wednesday if it would be okay to give Vega a pet first of course. Wednesday agreed because it was a hairless cat. If she had to deal with another hairy creature's fur latching onto her black clothes somebody was getting shaved.

Anyways. Eugene got the cat this capsule/dropship themed bed like a week or so later.

[ranafamily7]

We lost our job because of the war.

My sister Rawan, who is 24 years old, worked hard at a clothing and crochet shop before the war broke out in Gaza. She had her own small project, which was our only source of income, creating unique pieces from wool and crochet. But the war destroyed everything; the shop she worked in was bombed, and her dream of rebuilding her project seems far away. Raw materials have become scarce, and when they are available, they come at exorbitant prices. Rawan needs your support now more than ever to rebuild her simple project that once brightened our lives. 💔 If you can help, please donate any amount you can.

The link is in the bio.

@something-perpendicular @donsofwaste @gvnsey@inkxplashes@snowflakesincalifornia

@4rthstandbreak@lyriumrain@lunaragk

@riottalker @schrodingers-tribble

@macheriegrove @sparvverius @sweetenberries @mischiefmagpie @violet-2084-turkish-warrior@cyberoticism @televy @karineverse @electricseraphimdiaries @skybluethunderhead @lasbrumas @dhmis55-blog. @frogncranberries

@awhimsyreader901 @penwrythe

@absoloutenonsense @envytheroost @pantropikos @little-sunflower-bug

@gridelincarver

@gummy-sharks666 @ohgirliepleasee @jumping= jackalope @electricpterodactyl @let-us-cultivate-our-garden

#evening post #vetted by association

@sunboxinsignia @leeblissy @kidtested-fangirlapproved @1nky-quill @marcillemon

@hiiamredacted @teaspoon-of-salt @merps @gaylobsterd @purplespacekitty

@space-specs @thesubwaymp3 @inky-goddess @itsnotalemon @badolmen

@cannibalistic-vampirefag @cow-stealin-gal @lanliingwang @nov1963 @starfallen-tears

@opalbestcharacter @bruce-greenwood

@viiridiangreen @mimogutz @seaslug24

@flagellant @jjjammerson@verycolourfulflipflops @genericminecraftpotato#afternoon post #vetted by association@wildfeather5002 @caroblogsthings @ragnarockz-boost @lillian321 @sunset-diamond@nightowlssleep @swiftadrift @walnut-kitto @themarias @commiearabgirl|

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@all-purpose-utility-nerd @free0101@slendyverseargcollections @neonfruitbowlstuff @thegardener-and-theaupair @luminouslateralup @zzzubie @crisostomo @uhoh-but-yeah-alright @preemptivemolars @gayruledge @danyayeni2 @agentmoss @solitudecasesolace @demonpikmin @capybara-platypus @ambreeskyewriting @q8p @death-cannot-kill-you@Oluna123 @th3ch1psste4ler @lavenderlovers-@exactlydangerousdragon @charcoalsoup69

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@whatyouvegotunderyourskirt @kurtle@rabidkermit@splend-42@dustywarbler@moonrisemoonchild @senlinstudies@birdmenmanga @rabbithaver @jolyne-best-jojo @just-a-mod @officialgleamstar @ehjane @cosmicsymbols @treeen @spunkfunkyzzz @fairedoll @trashrunes@skiddlecat@tim-the-rat@pegglefan69 @writing-is-a-martial-art @ohmerricat @mildmayfoxe @sunnyartistwriter

@rabidkermit@splend-42@dustywarbler@honeybeeffdrawshere @jayskai@astronnonyy@400terahertz @poltiddies@yourlocaleccentricscientist@whatyouvegotunderyourskirt @kurtle

[mammalsofaction]

SIKE! GET LOVED IDIOT

Rating: G

Relationship: Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Perry the Platypus, Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus

Add tags: fix it fic, rewrite the unmentionable chibiverse episode, the destiel-fication of Perryshmirtz, this is an excuse for me showeing Heinz with love and aftercare.

AN: Many thanks to my lovely, sleepy beta @agentlizardofowca, who sent me the video through discord so it could be the first thing i would see upon waking up so we could both yell at each other about it. They fucking destiel-ed him.

---

"Perry the Platypus!"

There is a brief, but meaningful applause as he descends in appropriately melodramatic way. The stage is well built, and the mic doesn't screech. Perry keeps an eye on the prize, even as he swallows the given pill.

Heinz looks…wary. He did not, at least, have his arms crossed, but over the course of the last few hours Perry notices how he's grown to hunch further into himself, curling into his seat. His brows were deeply furrowed, like he was waiting to be physically hit at any moment, which still might be likely.

The pill goes down smooth as butter. There is a discernible electrical buzz, from his insides. As he coughs, he expects himself to belch smoke. Instead, as he approaches the mic, he speaks with a voice that was his-and-not-his-own.

"Well, hello there!"

Heinz yells in disbelief. Perry blinks.

"Oh, that is weird, hearing you speak,"

It's an even weirder sensation, Perry thinks, to be able have Heinz firmly understand him speak. He grips the edges of the podium tightly, then forcibly relaxes.

"Heinz," he laughs nervously. It still sounds like it came from someone else. "What can I say, about my greatest frenemy? I'd take my hat off to you, but then you'd have no idea who I am,"

A chorus of laughter follows . Heinz harrumphed, briefly looking away to stubbornly insist that he "Doesn't get it." But Perry does not miss the distrustful twitch of his lips.

God he can't do this. Perry takes in a deep breath.

"There are many things you continue to surprise me about, my friend," Perry continues, and he watches in real time as Heinz both blooms and flinches in anticipation of his next words. "But most astonishingly is how you…can twist your mind into such horrible directions."

A confused silence ensues. Someone yells out a demanding "What?" that breaks the man's confused daze.

"Yeah, what?" Asked the man of the hour. "Are you saying I think in a really evil way, or are you just calling me dumb?"

The former, Perry knows, would be a compliment the man sorely needs, but it would not be an accurate one.

Perry isn't interested in playing this stupid game. "Neither. Heinz, look around you. Don't you see?" Perry's mouth pursed tightly. "You are surrounded by friends."

There is a perceptible change in the air, punctuated by muttering and distressed whispering. Perry exhales loudly. "Do you really think all of us genuinely think so lowly of you?"

Heinz scowls, confused. His eyes dart to and fro, but they eventually land back to him. They always do.

"Some friends. I don't have any friends.That's half the point we've been making all day."

"I'm your friend." Perry says, a little desperately, but it isn't about him. "Heinz, you insist that the people you surround yourself with think of you in ways you already think of yourself in that too big brain of yours, that you don't see the affection and respect of the people who like having you around. This event is your idea. Do you think people would have thought about anything cruel we've said if you hadn't said you wanted to hear it? "

" There were plenty of volunteers."

"We're an outgoing group who like to help one another! Heinz, look," Perry scowls back. "I don't agree with everything Darcy said, but she was right about one thing. Your biggest enemy is, and always has been, yourself. You tend to think of yourself as a being a failure, as being hated. But that isn't true."

"Yeah!" Marcy yells helpfully from the crowd, followed by some pointed hushing. She doesn't seem to notice. "I do actually think you're talented, Dr. D!"

"I think you're really fun!" Someone adds.

"You always know when to stop when we ask."

"You really rock a labcoat, too, Dr. D!"

"I actually like your shoulders!"

The auditorium grows loud, as more and more chibis cheerfully add their kind, honest opinions of the man in the throne. It seems to throw him off, and he looks panicked, shocked, and heartbreakingly, astoundingly confused.

"Wait, WAIT! Everybody STOP. You guys were supposed to make fun of me!"

"We can keep making fun of you if you like, Dr. Doof." Star answers happily. " If you want, but it's all in good fun, right?"

"That doesn't mean we don't think you're also really cool, Dr D. " Mabel adds cheerfully. She has her little piglet in her arms, rocking him affectionately back and forth. " I do it with my brother all the time! I still love him to bits and bits."

From behind one camera, Dipper makes an embarrassed sound. He's still smiling, and Mabel comes around to tug him into a hug, sandwiching Waddles in the middle.

"But that-," Heinz began to sputter indignantly. Somewhere far below, there is a grinding, whining noise. Perry frowns. "But you-! But what about-what about-what about my, hey, what about my doctorate, huh? I bought it off the internet for 15 bucks! My teachers hated me! Im not actually a Doctor."

"We both know you never needed one to prove yourself more than capable of breaking the laws of physics on the daily." Perry chirps drily. There is another chorus of laughter for the not-quite-insult. "And I'm the last person to make fun of you for enjoying a spot of alliteration. Hello, Perry the Platypus?"

"Hey!" Heinz shouts, as the crowd continues to giggle. "This is my roast! Get in line!"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Perry coughs into his fist, hiding a smile. " Where were we? Ah, yes, embarrassing you."

Heinz harrumphed, slouching back down into his seat in the assumption that the self loathing party was about to continue apace. Perry clears his throat. "Let's talk about how much you love your daughter."

Heinz shoots straight up, hands clenched into the sides of his seat. He looks, for a second, genuinely hurt, and angry. But Perry meets his gaze dead on, and the man eventually unclenches himself enough to speak, taking a deep breath as he looks away. "Fine. Fine. Whatever. There's nothing you're about to say that will make me feel even a little bit ashamed of how much I love my Vanessa."

"Yes, that is quite the pickle, isn't it? You, Heinz Doofenshmirtz," his voice turns soft despite his best efforts, feeling his cheeks burn fondly in reminiscence. "Are one of the strongest, kindest, sweetest parents I have ever had the pleasure to meet in my life."

Heinz blinks, caught off guard once again as the crowd goes "Awww,"

"You are embarassingly loving, you never let yourself forget the things she tells you she enjoys, even if they're gifts she asked for when she was barely a child. You are protective and vindictive of anything that could possibly come to hurt her, and you have never, ever, ever once forgotten to throw her a birthday, even when you've never had a decent one yourself in all your life,"

And finally, finally, Heinz blushes. A tint of red for being pleasantly flustered instead of the ashamed flush from before. The chibis laugh, coo and yell in playful disgust. Perry smiles smugly, pleased for having turned the tide of the event on its head.

From beneath their feet, the rumble grows, and the whining increases in fever pitch. Chibis begin to jump in surprise, the sounds of joy and celebration turning into ones of distress. Quite tellingly, Heinz looks perfectly unbothered, arms crossed petulantly. Perry raises an eyebrow.

There is a distant boom, muffled by a safe wall of dirt. One part of the stands collapses in on itself, and the chibis get off of it hurriedly. There is an ensuing silence.

Perry and Heinz had not, even once, looked away from one another. Perry leans on his elbow on the podium, raising his second eyebrow. Heinz slumps down his seat.

"Fine. I had an inator that was being charged by the negative energy of insults to take over the chibiverse, yada yada yada. It was supposed to be Platypus proof, because I didn't have time to put a self-destruct button. You jammed the energy input and made it explode by calling me nice things, happy?"

"Delirious." Perry answers, as the crowd cheers in celebration, another scheme thwarted, and another day saved.

The crowd climbs the stage in droves, chanting his name. Perry lets them have their fun, though he's not particularly enjoying being thrown into the air and carried over their heads, off the stage, to the backstage buffet.

He slinks off the second he was able to get away with it, to where Heinz was still curled on the throne in the auditorium hall, scribbling into his inventions book. He's not noticed Perry approaching, peeking over his shoulder to see he was already brainstorming his next scheme for molecular chibiverse domination, muttering angrily to himself.

"-tupid to think he actually meant what he was saying, I should've kept my lid on the plan better, hide my blueprints-,"

"I did, you know." Perry interrupts, and Heinz jumped, clutching the notebook close to his chest. "Meant them, I mean."

Heinz sighs gustily, posing like he's meant to retort something clever, but he's not sure what it is, yet. To render Heinz Doofenshmirtz speechless was no easy feat, adding another tally to Perry's accomplishments this day.

Not that he was ever unappreciative of Heinz's chatty nature.

After opening his mouth and closing it a couple more times, the doctor blurts; "I don't think I'll ever get used to that. You, talking, I mean."

Perry shrugs, self-conscious. Heinz adds, hurriedly, "I didn't say I didn't like it."

Perry tilts his head in question.

"I'll get used to it," Heinz assures, a bit shyly. It's making Perry blush too.

The agent shakes his head. " I don't think…, "

Heinz frowns. "You don't like it? "

Perry shrugs. "I don't need it. " He looks down. "I have you. "

He's not looking, so he isn't able to tell what expression Heinz might be wearing in the following silence.

Heinz breaks it eventually. "You keep doing this, you know?"

When Perry looks up, Heinz had donned a poorly executed scowl. It makes him smile. "Reminding me about the good things. Call me nice, I mean. That's not right. It's ruining my street cred."

The idea of Heinz having a street cred makes him laugh, and even if he does not enjoy most of the actual talking for now, this was nice. Laughing together, and being able to communicate, thoroughly and well, what exactly he adored of his best friend, uninhibited of Heinz's own self-esteem issues.

I love you, Perry wants to say, desperately. He wants to say it more than anything in the world, but even with all the communicative technology at his disposal, he is still hesitant, still scared, of putting his vulnerability into words.

Later, he keeps telling himself. Soon. Eventually. He reaches out to hold Heinz's hand in his own, leadened with all the words he can't bring himself to say.

Heinz smiles, and squeezes like he understands him anyway. Like Perry would have all the time in the world.

It can wait.

[prettiestplatypus]

You've probably said something about this before, but was Lillie written with autism in mind?

Yes, and also no? When I wrote Lillie, she was and still is written with me and my mannerisms, limitations, etc in mind, as she's supposed to just be me but younger. What I didn't know when I started writing the Prettiest Platypus is that I am autistic I literally got a ton of "she's such amazing autistic representation" comments and ended up getting tested after to find out that I was in fact autistic as well So, originally she wasn't written with autism in mind, but now that I am much more aware of my own autism (and have done a lot of research into general autistic representation) she has become a more canonized autistic character as I continue to base her off of myself

[simp-for-the-batfam]

It is a rare day when the Batfamily has a declared day and night off (usually instituted by Alfred when everyone is injured). They decided to spend the day watching a movie together. Only, Bruce is fed up with the Batkids spending too much time arguing over what movie they should watch and turns it to a random channel that happened to be playing Phineas and Ferb. He states that 'if you act like children, you watch childish things'. Little did Bruce know how much of a pain it would cause him.

First off, Damian has never seen the show, but now that he has, the OWCA agents, especially Agent P, are his favorites. He is already compiling a list of measurements as to give Alfred to make custom fedoras for Titus, Alfred the Cat, Batcow, and any other pet the Wayne's own. Alfred already has the sewing machine out. Damian even commissioned one for Hailey that Dick can't wait to put on her. And on a completely unrelated note, an animal smuggling ring that Damian busted last week happened to have an abused platypus that Damian has now decided would be better fit in the Wayne Manner than taken care of in some wildlife preserve.

Dick remembers trying to recreate do everything Phineas and Ferb's summer as a kid, and is now determined to do it again. While everyone is distracted by the show, he calling is order and favors, determined to make things and contacting anyone who could help. He already has the Teen Titans on his side. He even ordered roller coaster parts that should come tomorrow and who knows what else. While he might not be able to personally build everything, he knows people who could. But for some reason, the parts never arrive at the manor.

Jason is hardcore identifying with Candace. While he is not the oldest, he knows what it is like to have the perfect sibling that never gets caught for their wrongdoing (*cough*cough* Dick). He already had to go through Dick's crazy summer plans before when he was Robin, trying to stop Dick from getting himself killed, and he doesn't want to do it again. Throughout the show, he is trying to bust Dick whenever he leaves to make a suspicious phone call, but Dick always says he is ordering takeout. Jason is pulling his hair out wondering how come no one has questioned the amount of times Dick has left to order food and how none of it has arrived yet. When he gets a chance, he sings E.V.I.L. B.O.Y.Z. directed toward Dick, who sits up front looking completely innocent.

The minute Phineas and Ferb is mentioned, Stephanie quicky fled the room only to roll back in full Duckie Momo apparel. She has on a Duckie Momo onesie, Duckie Momo slippers, and Duckie Momo glasses. In fact, the whole floor has become a Duckie Momo nest, complet with blankets and pillows. She even had a matching onesie for Cass. She also came in knowing all of the songs word for word and had so much fun recreating the "Squirrels in my pants" dance.

When Cass isn't in the Duckie Momo nest with Steph, cuddling a Duckie Momo plushie, she is copying fight scenes from the show. It started off as Steph asking if she could do a move Agent P did, only for her to recreate the whole scene. Now everyone is wanting Cass to copy any of the animals fighting moves, but she declined until she also got a fedora. Damian quickly got her one and declared her an honorary OWCA Agent. Dick tried to join in, but failed. Jason about died laughing about how a platypus could beat Dick in a fight, only for Damian to yell, "Agent P is a worthy opponent, Todd!" with Cass nodding in agreement. Either way, Dick has mainly been pouting ever since.

Tim has been up for about a week before he got dragged into family time. Now, he is just staring numbly at the TV, saying 'mood' whenever Doofenshmirtz talks about his awful childhood backstories (like the one where his parents didn't show up for his birth), giving Bruce an aneurysm each time. Tim is already on the edge, and Bruce just hopes he doesn't gain any motivation to copy Doof's 'take over the Tri-state area' schemes. Bruce especially worries whenever Tim spots a machine and says 'I could build that'.

Unbeknownst to Bruce, Barbara already has the schematics for all of Doof's machines as well as Phineas and Ferb's. What started as a bored interest during summer as a child grew over time, especially with all resources she gained by being Batgirl and Oracle. The information on both are kept in separate secret heavily protected files to keep Tim away from Doof's and Dick away from Phineas and Ferb's. She even has a warning system in place if either of them get close to making one of the machines, either on accident or on purpose, and diverts them away from completing it. The system also includes orders to return any shipments made solely for the purpose of recreating a machine and deleting any records of the order in the first place (hence why Dick's shipment never came). But Babs is content with letting Bruce worry and continues to watch the show with a Duckie Momo blanket spread over her lap (courtesy of Steph).

Since Duke was still working day shift (he wasn't as injured as the others and wanted to flee before there was bloodshed over choosing the movie), he comes back home and happens to conveniently be listening to a playlist of Phineas and Ferb's greatest hits. Upon seeing everyone, Duke takes an earbud out and asks, "Whatcha doin'?" The only answer he got was Steph throwing another Duckie Momo onesie in his face.

An hour later, Jason and Steph are singing BUSTED on top of a table, Jason as a warning to Dick and Steph just for the heck of it. Meanwhile, Cass and Duke acts as Duckie Momo backup dancers with full choreography. Dick wanted to join in as well, but Jason forced him to sit down and watch, hoping the message will sink through, but Dick thinks it is because they don't like his dancing so now he is pouting again. Tim is waving his cellphone light as if this is the most meaningful part of the night, while Damian is about to wrestle the fedora onto Alfred the Cat, as the cat keeps batting it away. All the while, Babs is recording everything.

Bruce is reminded that this is why you should never watch daytime television and turns the channel, despite the cries of anguish. Only to be horrified when Alfred reminds him and the children that show is can be viewed on Disney + and can be streamed at anytime. He runs back to his room as the beginning notes to the intro fill the air and all his children sing along.

[drpoisonoaky]

Are they really your friends if they haven’t threatened your partner? Yes they are, but where’s the fun in that.

This is the Gaang threatening Azula for “Katara’s sake”.

— Sokka

Sokka: Katara out!

Katara, raising an eyebrow: Excuse me?

Sokka: Can you please get out so I can speak with Azula?

Katara: Whatever you want to say to her I’m sure I can be in here.

Sokka: No. And don’t ask.

Katara:

Sokka: Pretty please?

Azula: I’m honestly intrigued.

Katara: Ugh. Fine.

Sokka: Thanks sister. Luv ya.

*Katara out of the picture*

Sokka: Listen up snooty princess. *Put his boomerang on the table*. I’m here to talk about how I will punish you if you hurt my sister in any kind of way.

Azula: Sure, I’m all ears.

Sokka: Wait what?

Azula: But I must advise you I experienced a lot of forms of torture already. Father used to say “It’s war Azula, they will do this to you if you’re weak and they catch you. It’s for you own good”

Azula: So what do you have in mind? Father favored the traditional practices of the Earth Nation.

Sokka: I- Damn. Spirits.

Azula: Look I never would hurt your sister on purpose. Ever. You have my word and honor.

Sokka: I’m going to hug you. So be ready. Here I go.

Azula: This is certainly a technique that my father didn’t use.

Sokka: NOW.

— Suki

Suki: Let’s talk.

Azula: Last time I checked you weren’t my friend in the kyoshi warriors. Did something happen to Ty lee?

Suki: I want to talk to you as Katara’s friend.

Azula: Ugh.

Suki: Listen asshole If you consider for a fraction of sec-

Azula: I am not going to hurt her on purpose. I’m a bitch. I know. I’m mean. Believe I know. But-

Azula: Wait why am I explaining anything to you?

Suki: Because I’m going to kill you if you don’t treat her as she deserves?

Azula: She’d do it first, don’t you think?

Suki: ..Well yeah, but it’s mandatory. They give Sokka the warning talk when we started dating.

Azula: They give it to Sokka and not you?

Suki: In Katara’s words “You could do way better than him so we’re going to remind him that”

— Toph

Toph: Princess purple platypus.

Azula: Living creature who doesn’t know what a bath is.

Toph: I’m here to give you a talk captain firebitch.

Azula: About how you are going to murder me if I lost my mind again and hurt my girlfriend on purpose?

Toph: Yeah I guess.

Azula: Message received.

Toph: Good. Another thing.

Azula: What?

Toph: Is it true that you know several torture techniques from the Earth Kingdom?

Azula: *sighs* He cannot shut up. Yes.

Toph: Good so start to talk princess snooty-pants. I want details.

— Zuko

Azula: Is your turn in that madness that they’re doing?

Zuko: Has everyone talked to you?

Azula: I think the avatar didn’t but I’m not sure. But I don’t think he knows how to threat someone.

Zuko: Who knows. So can you help me to figure out how to distribute all of the income from-

Azula: Thank Agni. No talk from you?

Zuko: Of course not. If you hurt her she will beat the shit out of you. Well, maybe you will have an awesome battle like I would pick popcorn and watch. So no, I’ve started learning when I don’t need to talk.

Azula: Oh I wasn’t expecting that. Good job Zuzu.

Zuko: So can you help me?

Azula: Gladly.

— Aang

Aang: Hey Azula. Mind if I sit here?

Azula: Do as you please Avatar.

Aang: Oh thanks.

Aang: By the way I came here to say you something.

Azula: So I was right you were the one left-

Aang: Listen Azula I’m only going to say this once. *Avatar State on* Hurt Katara in any kind of way and I will forget everything I know about peace. I’ll bring Kyoshi and let her do whatever she wants. Your past will look like a fairy tale compared to what will happen to you. Understood?

Azula, pale as a piece of paper: Sure.

Aang: It was nice to see you. Let’s grab some tea someday. Bye!

Azula:

Azula: Who would have thought that the air monk which I already kill once would be the most sadistic. My respects Avatar.

— Katara

Katara: I assume they give you the talk, right?

Azula: You have assumed correctly.

Katara: Poor thing.

Azula: I know you don’t feel bad for me, quit the show.

Katara: Don’t be such a baby. Now I need to know, who was the weakest?

Azula: Your brother by far. He spent more time trying to hug me than threatening me.

Katara: No surprised. Who was the “scariest”?

Azula: The Avatar. But don’t you dare to tell a soul.

Katara: Aang? The pacifist monk? Aang who cries if he eats a piece of meat?

Azula: Yes sweetie, that one.

Katara: *barely holding her laughter*

Azula: One more laugh and I’m done with you.

Katara: No you don’t.

Azula: I hate you.

Katara: I hate you too babe.

Toph, from afar: WHIPPED.

— Ty lee & Mai

Azula: Did you give Katara the talk

Ty lee: What talk?

Mai: I don’t think we need to tell her where the babies come from.

Azula: The one of If Katara hurt me you will hurt her etc.

Mai: No?

Ty lee: Why would we ever do that? We like Katara. She’s way nicer than you.

Mai: Being honest she could do better than you.

Azula: And I’m betrayed once aga-

Azula: Oh no. I’m the Sokka. Somebody kill me.

Mai: I think she lost it. Again.

Ty lee: Suki could also do better than Sokka.

Azula: I’m a sinner in the eyes of the fire nation. SOMEBODY KILL ME.

Ty lee: NO YOU ARE NOT ANYMORE NOW IT’S LEGAL.

Mai: Ugh. She’s so dramatic.

[fandomtrashcan]

Baby Platypus Problems

Previous part - Next part

Start Road to Recovery

Listen to Nico, everybody needs friends!

I'm going to be honest, this chapter almost killed me but at the same time I really wanted to post it.

I hope the panels were self-explanatory, but dispossable pads were not a thing that existed in the past. Women used mostly rags to deal with periods and Hunter does not have any in her room anymore. Even if she is an adult woman, she just can't know that pads are a thing that exists now.

Up to this point, Hunter is not a very likeable character. She is cold, cocky and standoffish. She does not show a lot of personality besides her cold warrior facade except for her deadpan humor. She is almost boring until you realize that she has been desperately running girlboss.exe to cover up for how lost she has been feeling.

She is having the worst time of her life. She is overstimulated and confused. She went straight from being one of the most terrifying apex predators in the planet to not being able to propperly take care of herself. She does not know how a modern kitchen works, so she can't cook until someone teaches her. Wired bras are a thing now AND you have to wash them in a washing machine. That she doesn't know how to use. And also Tony expects her to use that damned Superlink thing.

She is one minor annoyance away from crawling back to her grave.

Waking up 300 years in the future after being killed by your own mother should be terrifying. But the experience of living in a world where where everybody else knows things that you don't and take for granted is fairly common for neuroatypicals. So I decided to use that as inspiration. And there are few things more frustrating and terrifying than asking for help for something that you are supposed to know or be able to do on your own.

But the truth is that you will find people who are happy to help you. Some will even appreciate the fact that you dared to be vulnerable with them. And life does get easier when you have friends you can rely on.

So no, she's not a girlboss, she's a miserable baby platypus and I love her for that. Because I have a soft spot for slightly unlikable, disfunctional characters.

I have checked this like 100 times in search for mistakes but in case I missed one, please let me know :)