#Which was based off my own experience when playing:
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Man this one hit hard.
My mom raised me pretty much by herself - she had her family helping, and technically I have a stepfather, but he was useless and the rest of her family had their own damn lives.
When I was in third grade, we learned about the American Revolution, and we did a little classroom play based on it about if the war was a baseball game (idk man, the 90s were weird). All the big people in the war were baseball players - Washington, Hamilton, etc. for the Americans, King George et. all for the British - and I forget who I was, but I was the person who hit the winning home run that gave Americans the game (I think I might have been Lafayette?).
Parents are invited to see the one-day play, which is in the middle of the day during school time. I get it, it's hard to get out of work. My grandparents were sick so they couldn't come. But my mother promised up and down, over and over, left and right, that she would absolutely be there. It was a really big deal to me, I'd never been in a play or had an event that needed to be attended. I was excited. I wanted my mom to see me get the winning home run.
She showed up five minutes after the play ended. I was absolutely devastated. She apologized, she said she hadn't been able to get out of work. I cried.
And that pretty much set the tone for the rest of my life.
She managed to make it to my fourth and fifth grade chorus concerts, which was great because I had leads in all of them, but she never enjoyed it much and made it pretty obvious. She was the same way about my high school band concerts - worse, honestly, because I think she stopped caring about hurting my feelings.
When I turned twelve, my grandfather said he wanted to have a birthday party for me at his house (it was kind of a big deal because I always had my birthdays at that house, except for the year before because my grandmother died and we just didn't want to celebrate there). My mother said she'd get the day off work. She got the day off work. We're all gathered at my grandfather's house eating cake while I unwrap my presents, aaaaaaaand her phone rings. It's work. They need her to come in. She can't say no. It was the last birthday I had at my grandparents' house, and we ended up cutting it short because she never learned how to say no.
Fast forward to age twenty-six, when I'm getting married. My mother makes a big fuss about it because the wedding is in Texas, and she lives in Massachusetts. She is, by the way, the only blood relative I have in attendance at the wedding (my aunt and her husband were going to come, but there was a medical emergency with my sixteen-year-old cousin and they didn't want to leave him. Totally understandable). My mom shows up at 10pm the night before the wedding, makes it obvious she's miserable the entire ceremony and reception, then leaves at 5am the next morning because, you guessed it, she couldn't miss too much work.
I'm 33 now. My mother has never visited me - we always have to go to her. She will absolutely never take the time off to get on a plane and come see the life I made for myself. I know this, it sucks, but I'm used to it by now. That's just how she is.
I don't have a kid yet, but I am going to make damn well sure that in thirty-some odd years, my own child isn't on the next version of Tumblr rewriting this story with their own experiences.
my parents never came to anything I did.
I have so many memories about this, but one in particular: when I was away at camp with 89 other teenagers, and at the one-month mark the post was collected distributed to all the dorms. 89 other children tore open their boxes and, shovelling handfuls of sweets their parents had sent them into their mouths, read pages-long letters and handed around photos of their brothers and sisters.
I didn't. I didn't get anything, I sat on my empty bed watching them. The teachers had to call my parents and ask if perhaps the post had gone missing...? but my parents were surprised they were required to interact with me while I was away.
Well, today, my 3-year-old daughter had a fun-run. The childcare centre invited parents to come but stressed that if we weren't able to, it was alright. There was no fucking way I wasn't going. My daughter wasn't going to be the only child there without a parent watching.
I got time off work and stood there in the beating sun and plastered in greasy sunscreen waiting to see my little girl emerge from inside the centre and stand on the track.
When she did, her little eyes searched through the crowd person-by-person for me, and absolutely lit up like the sun when she spotted me.
Mine filled with tears as I waved at her and cheered.
I'm breaking the cycle.
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That stupid fuckandreastella blog bro. has a page dedicated to blindly hating on all the drivers except Lando, and then gets butthurt when people call them out on it. I'm glad that anon called them out. They hate on Oscar based on assumptions about him that they made up in their head to make them feel better about themselves and their washed driver. Meanwhile Lando has, by his own words and actions proven how rude of a person he is. His fans love to disguise them as jokes when they're legitimate insults and he knows those fans will defend him and he continues to do it. Half the time i don't even mind the snarky comments he makes because it's something all drivers have done, even Oscar and Max, it's part of the sport, infact media has dimmed it down otherwise it was so much worse back then, but he doesn't know when to stop, atleast max has 4 wdc to back up his temper. He's doing to much with little to show for it. His fans say it's double standards of people to shit on Lando for his 'champion mindset' when Max gets praised for the same thing. Mate what mindset? The only thing about the mindset is that he 'dreams' to be a champion, yet has never puts it into action. Max got hate for it, but did he let that peer pressure him? He took that hate and converted it into success. That's champion mindset. No unnecessary comments to undermine fellow drivers because he knows his ability. Infact he's praised Lando so many times. But Lando gets close to Max's car and suddenly max is dangerous, he's his enemy, they're not friends anymore, he loses respect for him. Hell he wanted an apology lmfaoo. And then PR was on his ass that he denied contradicted everything the next race, while max from the start was very mature about it and never spoke I'll of Lando. He can never learn to shut up when he should, and his fans are surprised he gets hated on.
Lando loves to victim play a lot, the whole Hungary drama? So that people would feel bad for him? He could've given Oscar the place back and then fight for it afterwards, but he had to cause unnecessary drama for the world to see, which by now I shouldn't be surprised about. Then he cries and whines about every driver trying to race him, tell me one time Oscar's ever begged for Lando to give the place back, even if team orders were implemented in his favor (which was only Hungary to my knowledge) It was always the team making decisions or talking to Lando, Oscar focuses on the race, based on his own merit. He knows that team has always favoured Lando and he's keeping silent, gaining experience, ultimately to outclass Lando in future seasons and I love that for him. And then the whole, Oscar never praises Lando like Lando does about him openly, is such a childish argument, because first it's literally false, Oscar has on multiple occasions subtly praised Lando when Lando did better then him post race interviews, and second, he's not contractually obligated praise him? People got mad at Oscar not 'thanking' Lando after Hungary. Why the fuck would he do that? In what world would a driver thank another driver for their win. Personally, I see all these praises from Lando about Oscar fake, just to get media's sympathy. He'll really try everything offtrack to gain an advantage but can't do it where it actually fucking matters.
Calling Oscar selfish for racing against Lando is hilarious because you're just undermining your own drivers ability. Isn't the whole point of F1 being selfish and fighting for the win? It's what max and every championship has done, and it paid off, if Lando fans call Oscar selfish then I'll take that as a compliment because they're basically saying Oscar's a soon to be world champion, so keep it coming babes. Oscar's only here for the constructors, he has no obligation to help Lando win a championship yet he CONTINUES to do so. If Lando really was championship material, he would be able to race against his teammate without crying about it, and be able to race wheel to wheel against him on track. But what do I expect, he cries about max when Max is trying to defend a championship, what does he fucking expect? Him to just let him by easily? If he did half the things max does (unfair take because Lando doesn't have half the talent max does or the courage lol) he would be closer to max in the championship, not leading but atleast closer. Oscar has done no wrong when racing Lando, he's always kept it clean, no damages to Lando's car so what's the issue? He tries his best to bring maximum points for the WCC and that should be his only obligation. If Lando was half as level headed as Oscar and actually focused on his races instead of bitching and moaning, McLaren would be miles ahead of Ferrari.
And back to hating on Oscar based on assumptions, they apparently don't like him because he's associated with mark who's homophobic and transphobic and then made ONE video with Jeremy Clarkson who again is controversial for reasons Idgaf about so by default that makes him one too. And that's equivalent to saying Lando's the same because he outright expressed support for trump. Not to mention he was associated with that rapist Yung filly or whatever. Does that make him one too?
The double standards and hypocrisy of those Norris fans will never fail to amaze me. Just what is their thought process.
Anon We think the same, I totally agree with you.
I think I love you
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#(o á”âœá”)o I REALLY like the headcanon that the card is his natural hair color but he dyes his hair to blend in for missions.#I know in one ending slide for a female courier he actually matches the card.#However I tend to just stick with imagining him looking like his in game model BUT IT'S HARD TO DECIDE!!!#So I wanted to hear other people's opinions.#I've been thinking about my Courier Six interacting with other characters.#Her dynamic with Vulpes Inculta is VERY fun to imagine since she has REALLY bad facial blindness with ONLY him ê (Ë̶á·â§Ì«à„ą Ë̶á·
àč ).#Which was based off my own experience when playing:#I didn't realize it was him in The Strip until he spoke and that he was standing next to Ceaser đ#So I picture before becoming villainized by the Legion they'd bump into each other a few times during his missions.#(ÂŹâżÂŹ ) Also that Ceaser would send Vulpes to receive updates about Courier Six's progress on killing Mr. House.#Which she is NOT going to do but is lying to the Legion that she is.#My Courier Six NEVER recognizes it's Vulpes unless he says something.#Which I think bothers him but also strokes his ego a little that he's such a great Frumentarii.#It's like Dr. Doofenshmirtz with Perry the Platypus. If Vulpes isn't wear the Dog Head she can't recognize him.#Fallout New Vegas#Vulpes Inculta#Polls
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i have planned to write a pseudo-essay or some kind of detailed look at linebeck in phantom hourglass and how he can be interpreted as autistic but thats not going very well right now so here are some autistic linebeck headcanons
He has low empathy and as such has a hard time responding very well to emotional situations, but he can take advantage of his lower empathy in situations where empathy could make things harder, like tending to wounds or rationally handling emotionally-charged situations
His coat is a comfort object and he made it specifically to act as a very slight accommodation; itâs heavy and barely lets any light through it, and he can keep all kinds of little things in pockets sewn into the inner lining, but larger objects do make it more uncomfortable to wear at times. Itâs mostly good to carry around things to fidget or stim with and can be helpful in trying to recover from overwhelming sensory experiences
He doesnât usually stim in public, but taps his fingers on tables quickly and tends to rhythmically snap his fingers when excited, and on his ship is more vocal and more willing to stim, even if around others. One of his main stims that heâll do for no particular reason is that heâll hold his arm or back of his wrist/hand up to his nose and mouth for the smell.
He masks frequently to please people. His default mask is that arrogant and brave front he puts up for islanders and other he may come across. Usually, if that mask doesnât work, he tends to double-down because it usually works and, in his experience, dropping the mask has usually gone badly (non masking heâs rude and blunt but more outwardly excited about adventure and his ship and all of that, i consider it where overseas in the game is when he usually isnât masking. this shifts his arc to be about him learning to stop masking and feel comfortable being himself)
His special interests could include stuff related to treasure hunting but it could really range from stuff about adventuring or the ocean or engineering (relating to his ship) to stuff not at all touched in the game like music. He really enjoys music, listening to it, playing it, and writing it. He also enjoys and is fascinated by shellfish.
When busy or otherwise occupied, he doesn't usually notice when he's hungry. He doesn't have as much of a problem noticing thirst or exhaustion, but feeling hunger is a problem for him, and often leads to him going a long time without eating. On the other hand, he doesn't mind eating the same thing repeatedly and is perfectly fine with blander foods, so handling food supplies for when he'll be overseas for a long time is easy for him.
He knows he's autistic, he's known for a pretty long time, and he has books on it; he also knows that Link is autistic, but doesn't say anything about it and instead waits until someone else tells him. Until (and after, I suppose) Link actually learns that he's autistic Linebeck just makes sure to keep note of what accommodations he might need and if there are any textures or tastes or smells he can't stand. He doesn't have much of a problem helping out during sensory overloads, even soon after meeting him. It's more out of understanding how it feels to not have your needs met and a sort of solidarity rather than actual friendship.
#loz#legend of zelda#phantom hourglass#linebeck#OBVIOUSLY he experiences some nasty rsd and he's a bitch about it that's like. basically canon so i didnt mention it#a lot of linebeckâs autism is based and referenced off of my own with some extra additions#which is why i have an easier time writing him as autistic than link#kindness is a choice and having low or no empathy does not in any way make someone heartless but linebeck does abuse his own low empathy#to be a mean bitch with minimal emotional consequences#i think linebeck would call link a dipshit to his face and then not feel bad about it for like a few weeks until he starts caring abt him#linebeck stimming by smelling his arm is actually my main stim. its probably why i sit all fucked up bc i sometimes do it w/ my legs lol#the masking bit does kinda fuck some stuff up but i personally enjoy that take on him#one of his comfort objects is an old orange cat plushie named copernicus and if you know what that is specifically from thank you im sorry#linebeck being way into music has no canon backup i just like the idea of him playing piano and composing some form of his own theme#piano is a mad sensory experience btw i dont yet know how to really play it but when i did keyboard in pit it was a fantastic feeling#bangin' out the tunes. it was a really good sort of stim if i was feeling a bit overwhelmed by all of the new tech and music too#salty talks#not entirely an autism headcanon but he thinks gender is a sham and less identifies as a man and more specifically considers#his gender identity to be 'real man of the sea' which is initially kinda silly but kind of a fucking gender move tbh#i dont think he's explicitly trans or nb he's just having fun fucking with his own gender and doing whatever he feels like doing#he isnt a man but he is a man. kind of like how im a dude but also not. yeah.#these were initally going to be call 'quick' headcanons but you can see why i uh. didn't end up going with that
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venus notes. đ©°
Disclaimer. these observations do not have to resonate with everyone and everything, all expressed in this post is based on personal experience and research.
(comment down your venus sign & posts which you guys would like to see from my side in the future)
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đ©° aries venus
Venus in Aries? Super passionate! Aries is all about passion and action, while Venus is love, beauty, and relationships. So, if you've got this combo, you're all in for fiery romance. You're into your partner big time, always wanting to keep things exciting and new. You might even be the one who starts things off. Quick to fall for someone, you dig that rush of feelings, especially if your crush gets all possessive. Yep, you can get obsessed too, thinking they're "the one". But sometimes, you pick the wrong ones, drawn to the drama. You dive in headfirst, but your passion fades fast if the fire ain't burning. You thrive on arguments or a partner who's a bit aggressive â it's just your style. Love's a thrill for you, so you act on impulse, not always taking it seriously. You're into the chase, but deep down, you want someone who's all in. You're attracted to ambitious, independent types, but in the relationship, you like to be the boss. Bold? Oh yeah! You'll straight-up tell your crush you're into them. Sure, you care about others, but yourself? That's priority. Sometimes, it causes issues in relationships, 'cause you fear losing your freedom. You'll find any excuse to be with your crush, even if it means dragging out a dry convo. Depending on how much you're into them, you might show your wild side early or play it cool. And when you're crushing, hygiene's on point, and you're dressing to impress. You won't admit your feelings outright, but you'll drop hints like crazy.
đ©° taurus venus
Venus in Taurus is renowned for instilling a profound sense of security, stability, and comfort. Individuals with this placement often take pleasure in savoring life's finer aspects, finding delight in material possessions and indulgences. Their relational and moral approach is frequently characterized as traditional or "old-fashioned". They tend to prioritize commitment and steadfastness in romantic connections, upholding conventional values in matters of love. Despite potentially limited romantic experience, those with Venus in Taurus display considerable wisdom in relationships. They exhibit a preference for actions over verbal expressions of affection, recognizing the unreliability of words at times. Their demonstrations of love are earnest and heartfelt, reflecting their belief in the significance of genuine affection. While they may refrain from overtly pursuing individuals they admire, they possess a magnetic allure that draws others toward them. Often possessing physical attractiveness themselves, they appreciate similar qualities in their partners, valuing aesthetics in relationships. Patience is a virtue for those with Venus in Taurus, as they are willing to await the arrival of a dependable, well-established partner. However, this patience can sometimes lead them to remain in unsatisfactory relationships or jobs due to concerns about financial security or other forms of stability. Despite their investment in relationships, individuals with this placement may harbor apprehensions about potential emotional hurt, which can result in them setting boundaries in love. Their cautious approach may deter them from readily reciprocating romantic advances, yet they remain dedicated once committed. They are drawn to ambitious individuals with financial stability, reflecting their own values and aspirations. While they maintain a private stance on their romantic interests, they are discerning in their choice of confidants. Fear of rejection and a desire to maintain a flawless image may occasionally hinder their pursuit of love, yet they persist in their quest for perfection in matters of the heart.
đ©° gemini venus
If your Venus is in Gemini, you're into folks who know how to talk the talk. You're all about people who are smooth talkers, good in social situations, and just plain smart. But sometimes, you get too caught up in what people say and forget to pay attention to what they do, which can cause some mix-ups. You're into exploring different kinds of beauty, art, and love styles, and you can find love in lots of places, not just with a partner. In fact, having a significant other isn't always at the top of your mind. You can be hot and cold in love, one day you're all about someone, the next they're not even on your radar. Commitment? It's not that you can't do it, but you're kinda wary of getting too deep. You like to keep things cool and smooth when you're into someone, remembering all those little details. You're after someone you can connect with on a brainy level, not just an emotional one. So yeah, you might seem a bit distant at times. But hey, you're charming as heck, so people are drawn to you. You're the friendly type, always ready to start a chat and get to know someone better. And when you're crushing, you want to be the one who makes them laugh, so watch out if someone else steals their attention! Before you get all chatty and flirty, though, you keep your feelings under wraps. Seriously, no one can tell you're into someone until you're ready to spill the beans. Gemini Venus adds a playful, fun vibe to your romantic life, and you're all about finding someone who can match your energy and keep things exciting. But deep down, you want more than just fun â you're looking for someone you can really connect with on a deeper level.
đ©° cancer venus
People with Venus in Cancer are super loving. When they fall for someone, they fall hard and fast. When they like someone, they're not subtle about it. They'll either come off as rude or super friendly, no in-between. But with their crush, they'll turn on the charm, trying to be adorable and impress them. They'll pay attention to every little detail and practice what to say in their head. They need lots of reassurance and security in relationships, or they'll feel unloved. But when they feel safe and loved, they're amazing partners. They remember every little thing about you, seriously, everything! Their love is powerful and nurturing. They'll do anything for the ones they care about, even if it means sacrificing for them. They crave deep connections and bonds with others, but they struggle to express their feelings because they're not used to being heard. They're sentimental beings, often getting lost in thoughts about past relationships. They're great at taking care of others, almost like a natural instinct. They have this motherly vibe that attracts people, especially kids. Sometimes they can get a bit too obsessed with the people they like, which can be intense. They're drawn to serious, protective types who make them feel safe. But if they're not into them back, it's like heartbreak city, and they'll go to extremes to win them over. If they settle down, they want stability and security. They're picky about who they fall for, but when they do, they're all in. They'll smother you with affection, wanting you to see how much they care. It's tough for them to spill their feelings, but if their crush is as stubborn as they are, they'll drop some major hints or just come clean. Patience and intuition are key when dealing with them!
đ©° leo venus
People with Venus in Leo are a tough nut to crack when it comes to commitment. They're all about knowing your value and what you bring to the table. If they don't see you giving them the love experience they crave, they're outta there. But watch out, they can fall for love bombs real quick. When someone showers them with attention, they eat it up, even if there are warning signs. They're elegant and charming, craving to be worshipped and adored. They want a partner who shows them off and takes pride in being with them. Winning them over? It's like a game, and they love the power trip. But in friendships, they're super generous and lovely. Sometimes they can come off as cocky, especially when they're trying to impress someone they fancy. But hey, they're great at planning epic dates and spoiling their partners. They're all about themselves too, soaking up compliments like a sponge. They might flirt with people they're not into just for kicks, which can lead to misunderstandings. But when they're truly in love, they're fiercely loyal and generous to a fault. They need someone with as much energy and zest for life as them to feel fulfilled. They're pretty decisive when it comes to their crushes. You'll know where you stand with them, no guessing games. Plus, they've got that magnetic charm that draws people in like moths to a flame. But here's the kicker: they can struggle with commitment issues. They're always chasing the next thrill, and if you don't measure up, they'll drop you like a hot potato. They'd rather start as friends or really get to know someone before diving in. And if they can't brag about you, it's game over. When they like someone, they're not shy about showing it. They'll playfully tease their crush to gauge their interest, and they've got a knack for remembering the little things. They might even go all out and buy them something special just because they mentioned wanting it.
đ©° virgo venus
People with Venus in Virgo can be real overthinkers when it comes to relationships. They nitpick and find flaws where there might not even be any. They're after partners who are genuinely interested in them, who notice the little things about them that they might miss. Remembering tiny details about them? That's a big win. They're all about providing for their significant other, creating stability and order in their relationships. They're not in a rush to fall in love 'cause they're pretty cool flying solo. But don't get it twisted, they're not against relationships, they just need to see the value in it. They're like detectives when it comes to the people they like, studying them inside and out to understand their feelings. They're not the most romantic folks, but they're all about giving you the kind of love that suits you best. They're pretty savvy when it comes to love, relationships, and money. They've got high standards and are picky about who they like. They want to feel special and seen by their partner. They might attract a lot of attention, but catching the eye of someone they're into? That's a whole different story. They've got a playful side, enjoying simple and elegant things. If they're not starting off as friends with their crush, it's probably not gonna go anywhere. They're all about testing loyalty before diving into anything serious. They'll get shy around their crush but will jump at any chance to help them out, just to show they care. They might seem a bit confusing, giving mixed signals, but they're just playing it cool. They won't chase after their crush forever, though. These folks know their worth. Physical touch is their love language, so don't be surprised if they're always trying to playfully wrestle with you or lend a hand. They'll take any chance they get to chat with their crush, even if it means asking to partner up for a project. If their crush can meet their needs as a friend, they'll quickly start imagining a romantic future together. But remember, with these folks, slow and steady wins the race.
đ©° libra venus
Alright, let's dive in! Libra Venus folks are like straight out of a romance novel, smooth talkers and super dreamy. They're total eye candy, but sometimes they hold back 'cause they're scared of looking too soft. Even though they might play it cool, they're secretly love gurus. Seriously, they've got this knack for loving people just right, like they've got a playbook or something. They're suckers for romantic flicks and dream of being treated like royalty. They just want to know their partner's head over heels for them. And they're not stingy with affection either, they'll spoil you rotten. But here's the thing: they're hopeless romantics. They love to flirt, but when they find someone who really lights their fire, they're all in. Love's their main motivation, and they're all about keeping things fair and making sure everyone feels seen. But sometimes, they need a little extra validation themselves to feel secure, which can make them clingy. They've got killer style, and even if they don't, they can rock any look. They're all about making others happy, sometimes to a fault. They dig people who can flirt back, have killer fashion sense, and are down for whatever. Libra Venus folks aren't about taking it slow. They're all about diving headfirst into the action. When they're into someone, they're not shy about it. They'll crack jokes about being together and go all out to win their crush over. They're big daydreamers, always picturing their crush in different scenarios. And they're not afraid to shoot their shot, even if it means embarrassing themselves a bit. If they're not sure about their feelings, they'll keep it under wraps until they figure it out. They're all about cheesy pick-up lines and making their crush smile. They'll do whatever it takes to win them over, even if it means biting their lip and winking. And if their crush shows interest back, get ready for some serious blushing!
đ©° scorpio venus
Alright, let's break it down. People with Scorpio Venus might have a thing for the wrong crowd because they're not feeling too confident. They can latch onto someone real quick and get super intense about it, but they're not easy catches themselves. It takes them a hot minute to decide if they're in it for the long haul, but once they commit, they're in it for life. They've got this mysterious, captivating vibe that draws folks in like magnets. They're all about passion in relationships and they want someone who's all in. Plus, they've got this knack for attracting romantic attention without even trying. But watch out, they can get a bit possessive 'cause once they're into someone, they're all in. They want to be needed by their partner, and they're not big on sharing. They might be into people who are open-minded and don't judge, 'cause they're not big on sharing their feelings. Or they might dig someone who's just as mysterious and seductive as they are. They need friends they can trust, and they're drawn to darker colors like black. They're not big on PDA, but they've definitely got some serious sex appeal. These folks ride a rollercoaster of emotions when they've got a crush. One minute, they're head over heels, the next, they're kicking themselves for catching feelings again. They won't make the first move unless they're sure their crush is into them too. If they do start talking to their crush, they'll try to play it cool at first, but once things are official, they're all about that energy and excitement. They're suckers for old-school romance and passion.
đ©° sagittarius venus
Okay, let's break it down. These folks are total jokesters and love cracking people up, but they can also be a bit wishy-washy when it comes to their feelings for someone. They might dig folks who are a bit obsessed with them, but they also get a kick out of charming people who play hard to get. They're on the lookout for that one special someone who really catches their eye. And let's be real, they can be a bit full of themselves, especially when it comes to love. But hey, it's all part of their charm, right? When they're in love, they're all about having a good time and going on adventures. They might be down for commitment, but they're cautious about who they commit to. They need a partner who's just as fun-loving as they are, otherwise, they'll get bored real quick. They crave that thrill of love and might act on impulse when they're feeling it. They hate feeling tied down and want to keep their freedom because, at the end of the day, they belong to themselves. They're not big on emotions or emotional people, but they do want that passionate love, even if they're not ready to commit to it fully. They're drawn to independent, fun-loving folks who have a bit of influence or power. Their feelings come and go like the wind, and they can be sensitive to rejection sometimes. They'd rather chill with their friends than deal with lovers 'cause friends give them more freedom. They'll show you they care by making a big deal out of the things they think are important. They might even be open to exploring different kinds of relationships, like open ones. And yeah, men with Sagittarius Venus tend to have a thing for women from other countries.
đ©° capricorn venus
Alright, let's simplify this. So, folks with a Capricorn Venus aren't big on showing their feelings openly. They're more about investing in the relationship for the long haul. They like to feel needed and show love in practical ways, like providing security and stability.They're super loyal but can get jittery if things don't feel stable. They're not great at expressing their need for care and nurturing, but they crave it deep down.When they find someone they're serious about, they're all in. They can come off as a bit blunt sometimes, but that's just their style. They're into classy, professional vibes, and they've got a secret, wild side, especially in the bedroom.They can be a tad controlling and protective when they're into someone. They're not the type to shout their crush from the rooftops, though. They keep it on the down-low or share it with close pals.Rejection hits them hard, and they might get cold and distant. They attract a lot of friends who crush on them, but they're all about impressing their main squeeze. They'll drop everything to be there for their crush, even if it means ditching their own plans.They're not shy and will chat up a storm. Body language is big for them, and they're social butterflies who also enjoy their alone time.Spirituality is a big deal for them, and they can seem a bit distant sometimes. They're not into clingy or flighty types; they dig someone strong and independent. Their soft side only comes out when they feel totally safe and secure.
đ©° aquarius venus
These folks are pretty one-of-a-kind when it comes to love. They're into quirky and unique people, so if you're not a bit "weird," they might not be into you romantically. They're also super straightforwardâthey'll tell you exactly how they feel. Sometimes, they're a bit hesitant about love, but deep down, they really want it. They're more logical than emotional, which helps them see the truth in relationships. They're attracted to folks who like them for who they are, inside and out. They enjoy being with friends more than lovers and might even fall for their pals sometimes. They really value their individuality and freedom to be themselves. They can be a bit attention-seeking, but once they find the right person, they're good. They rock platform boots and oversized shirts like nobody's business! They're huge daydreamers and love learning everything about their crushes. Starting as friends is cool with them, but it's not a must. They're the type to get super excited over a simple "Good morning" text from their crush. Just remember, their crushes come and go, so be your unique self to catch their eye. They're not into superficial stuff when it comes to attraction, especially if there are no issues in their chart.
đ©° pisces venus
These folks have this whole picture in their head of what their ideal partner should be likeâhow they act, everything. But if reality doesn't match their fantasy, they can lose interest real quick. They're big on romance, sensitive, stable, and love creativity. They want someone who can handle a relationship but also has a bit of chaos in them. When they love, they really go all in, even to the point of sacrificing themselves. But sometimes they end up giving their love to the wrong people. They're used to attracting the wrong types because they don't realize they deserve better. They're into spiritual stuff like crystals and incense, and when they're in love, they can act all childish. Logic goes out the window when they're in loveâthey miss red flags because they're too focused on their ideal traits. They're also super generous, even if they can't afford it. They're great listeners and really empathize with their loved ones' problems. They might crush on someone just because they're good-looking or fit their fantasy. But when reality hits, they can turn cold real fast. They're always on the lookout for that one perfect soulmate. Pisces Venus folks are the ultimate hopeless romantics. They're always dreaming about their perfect love story, which sometimes leads them to ignore warning signs. They're all about putting others before themselves and seeking that deep spiritual connection with their partner. Being sensitive souls, they can really understand what's going on beneath the surface in a relationship.
this post was created by @astrogossipp on tumblr <3 if reposting my work please give credits.
pics by @i04rei
#astroblr#astrology#astro community#astro notes#astro observations#venus#venus signs#aries venus#taurus venus#gemini venus#cancer venus#virgo venus#leo venus#libra venus#scorpio venus#aquarius venus#capricorn venus#pisces venus#sagittarius venus#natal chart observations#natal chart analysis#natal chart#venus observation
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Stuck in TWST without meds
and also they're yandere or something
@shironakuronatasa here you go pookie <3
Because everyone is different, I'm gonna be focusing on the meds I take and the things I experience! If you're inspired to write one of your own based on your types of meds, go for it! I'd love to see others' takes on this :3
I'm still writing in 2nd person, but you/mc is heavily based off of me!
(And if you still want a personalized one but don't want to write it, my commissions are open/hj)
Tw for one mention of suicidal ideation.
Imagine...
You don't quite have a clusterfuck of things going on in your head, but sometimes it can feel like it. Autism, Anxiety, depression, and ADD. Thankfully, you have access to medication, and they work well for you.
Although you can't keep the downward spiraling from the depression and anxiety away completely, it is far more manageable with your medication. You've found that when off them, you are far more prone to completely fall apart at even the slightest inconvenience. It feels like constant stormy waters, with stormclouds that only make the waves worse. But when on them, the storm disappears. Yes, the waves still get rocky and tip your boat from side to side, but you're emotionally stable enough to handle them.
Then the meds for your ADD. With them you have the razor sharp focus to not only take care of projects and work, but also to simply take care of yourself. When off of those, even simple tasks like taking out the trash can take hours, especially since you so easily forget steps, and will stop the chore in the middle, genuinely thinking it's complete.
But you have your meds, so you manage just fine.
Until you're sucked into Twisted Wonderland.
First of all, even if you had already taken the meds for anxiety/depression, there's not much they could do in the face of being transported and consequently trapped in a different dimension. But they do still help, and instead of bawling, you manage to keep a cool (enough) head and get yourself settled into Ramshackle.
But they don't last you long. They had built up in your system enough to last you a few days, but time and circumstances were not on your side.
Even though Grim is by no means an emotional support pet, and is by all means a little shit, he manages to push his pride aside when he can tell you really need it.
Especially the days where you wonder if death is what will bring you back home...
Grim will act as if he helps you for his own purposes, but he is genuinely there for you.
The others, however...
First of all, quite a few of them don't completely understand... you're extra sad and spacey, but you had some kind of magic to help with it back home, but you don't have them here, and without them you get... sad and spacey?
Riddle probably sees it as some pathetic excuse. It's not until after his overblot that his tune completely changes and he is giving you all the special treatment. Even if you mess up on purpose, even if it's something that really frustrates him, he'll justify it as you not knowing any better. Which is patronizing as hell.
Ace will use it to his advantage. Getting into trouble and having you take the brunt. And you play along with it, because, again, Riddle is treating you like an incompetent child, so you are all for raising Cain with Ace. What Ace really loves about this, though, is that it makes you more willing to hang out with him, and more likely to dislike Riddle.
I imagine Deuce has something going as well, though I don't quite know what, and neither does he. But he finds a kindred spirit in you. Study sessions with him are a MUST, and you share your different study and coping tactics, while he stares at your lovely face.
Trey relishes in caring for you. If you're having any kind of sudden increase in stress or sorrow, he is fucking there. He will scoop you up and take you to the kitchen and treat you with his home baked goodies right then and there. Same with your academics, if you need help with academics, it's to the kitchen for tutoring. And as bad as it is, he finds himself wishing you'd give in and lean on him completely.
Leona will also be there for you in depressive episodes. He sees how you always go to Grim when your upset, notices the little things that Grimm does that helps, and starts subtly using them whenever you're upset. Not even just if it's depression/anxiety related, if you're upset with him specifically he'll start purring in that low register that has your heart slowing. He'll rest his body on your chest as a weighted blanket. He'll let you pet him and comb through his hair. All until all you associate Leona with is safety and comfortâas you should from a mate.
Ruggie is SUCH a little meanie at first! Specifically regarding your ADD. Once he sees how much it genuinely upsets you, though, he'll back off. He does have a manipulative streak, though, and will use your anxiety against you. Any way he can get you to distrust others and seek him out is a good way.
Jack is one who does not fuckin understand at first, but once he does, he's supportive. He asks if there's anyway he can help and you offhandedly tell him about emotional support dogs, and he is locked on. He's embarrassed by it at first, of course, but he can tell how safe it makes you feel, and like Leona he is completely fucking for that. Though he won't just be emotional support, no, he'll be the guard dog chasing away anything that could possibly trigger you.
School is very difficult for you without your ADD meds. You can manage, but it is far more stressful and difficult than it needs to be. So, of course, you have those generously offering to help youâspecifically Azul, who's more than willing to help... at a price, of course.
Floyd really likes when you daze off in class... When you're staring blankly, mind thinking about so many things except whatever the professor is droning on about. The way your eyes glaze over, the way you're so focused on whatever the fuck is going on in your head, the way your lips part ever so slightly... All your idle habits are endlessly entrancing to him. And, goes without saying, every single time you're especially depressed, he offers a good squeeze session.
Jade, the manipulative bastard, will purposely set you up for failure so that you feel like you need to go to him for help. Because lord knows Azul will make you pay for it, but not your good friend Jade. Plus, if you ever mention how hiking can help with mood, lord save your soul...
Jamil is such a DICK. He will be degrading you at every second, completely taking over whatever it is you try to do. Even if it has nothing to do with him. God, you remind him of Kalim, but at least you don't have the nerve to be so fucking happy all the time. A sick part of him likes when you're sad. You're less annoying when you're depressed, specifically, without little energy or motivation to do or be anything else. He'd happily take care of you then. He'll do whatever you need done. You'd probably do it wrong anyway.
Kalim feels so fucking seen and understood. He honestly felt like some kind of freak for so much of his life, but you... you're kinda like him! A lot sadder though. Your very existence brightens his life, so he's made it his mission to brighten yours. He also really can't stand it when you're with others. It's so obvious you two are meant for each other! He views your shared ADD symptoms as evidence of soulmateship.
Vil is another case of not fully understanding. You're making excuses. Until he takes it a bit too far, pushes even more than what you can handle, and you fully break down in front of him. You're so completely and utterly vulnerable in that moment. He doesn't know if it's a very dedicated manipulation tactic to get out of his nitpicking, but... he becomes a little more sympathetic with you. Vil recognizes that, for whatever reason, you do in fact seem to struggle more with certain things. And yet, despite that, you still try. You continue push yourself, even if what youre pushing towards is, by other people's standards, the norm/mediocrity/minimum. And in you he starts to see a bit of himself. Especially since, let's face it, with depression, anxiety, and add, it is very likely you relate more to Vil than you do Niege. He helps you, and in turn you help him, though you don't even realize it. Helping you be happier with yourself helps him be happy with himself. And he'll fucking slaughter anyone who takes you away from him.
Rook, like Vil, is easily able to recognize how much you not only struggle, but how much you try. And he finds that incredibly beautiful. Needless to say, he is often watching you. Everything you do is enchanting. He memorizes every. single. stim. and habit. Sometimes when you get frustrated, he just wants to scoop you up in his arms and shower you in kisses, but then you'd realize he broke into your room...
Epel will see how much you get pushed around, and takes it upon himself to defend you. He also sees a bit of himself in you. Sometimes he purposely waits around you, and at the first sign of trouble, he'll attack.
Sometimes you just get too fucking overstimulated and you need a break. And in those times, you've found Idia to be the best person to go to. You both started off pretty distant. You approached him, upset, and asked for a quiet place. You put in headphones and just laid down right there. The two of you just sat in silence, with headphones in, doing your own things, blocking out the world. And, oh, how Idia came to crave those moments. He began to depend on you for comfort, ans hoping that you would similarly come to depend on him. You're different from those other normies, you're the only one who gets him so please just stay with him! He will start to modify his room to be the perfect sensory room, the only place in the school you can go to fully regulate yourself. He starts going out with you, acting as if you're really helping him step out of his shell, when really he just wants to spend more time with you, and will continue to shy away from everyone else and hide behind you. This man desperately needs you to need him as desperately as he needs you.
You are so. Fucking. Cute. Malleus finds your every single quirk so fucking attractive. He doesnt like, however, seeing you so upset. So sad. And the kind of sad where he is helpless to help you. He also really doesn't like it when you're upset at yourself. Don't you realize you're perfect? And who cares if you're not good at any of the school stuff? Malleus doesn't. You don't need any of those skills anyway, with Malleus Draconia here to always take care of you.
if you want the rest of diasomnia or the secret character I subtly didn't include lmk
part two out now!!
#yes iâm referencing the eels mouth open thing again leave me alone#yandere#yandere rambles#yandere twst#yandere twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#twisted wonderland#twst floyd#twst headcanons#yandere twst headcanons#yandere ace trappola#yandere deuce spade#yandere trey clover#yandere riddle rosehearts#yandere leona kingscholar#yandere jack howl#yandere ruggie bucchi#yandere azul x reader#yandere jade leech#yandere floyd leech#yandere kalim al asim#yandere jamil viper#yandere epel felmier#yandere rook hunt#yandere vil schoenheit#yandere idia shroud#yandere malleus draconia#yandere headcanons
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#as much as I hate how Instagram is trying to push me content. it's interesting to play with the algorithm#it's so transparent as to what it bases its suggestions off of. kinda fun to try and fine tune it.#it feels like back when I'd mess with replika and try and foster a certain personality trait or response and train out others#if you can recognize the algorithm then you can stop getting fed mindlessly and instead use it to show you the content you want#that's the thing about algorithms. they're tools. weapons if used that way. but a tool for a purpose#so if they give you the tools to adjust the algorithm. then you can turn it to your own purposes#my biggest complaint is when they don't give you enough tools to manipulate your own algorithm#the moment you don't have the tools to adjust your own experience is the moment they start forcing content instead of letting you choose#I especially hate when it starts choosing to push content based on things I can't control#I don't care if my friend likes baby videos I don't want to see children in videos take that shit away#the amount of mommy baby videos I've had to repeatedly tell it to never show me again is awful.#I feel like I stumbled into the cult of motherhood or something#I do have the chance to hunt up more good black artists which is super cool. there's not that big of a pool here#so it's harder to find my preferences since yaknow.. limited sample size#tag talk
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DEATH WISH LOVE | EVAN BUCKLEY
gif credit
Pairing: Evan Buckley x fem!reader
Summary: Buck never thought he could love someone like that. Especially not someone with the same death wish love as him.
Warning: Anxiety crisis, near-death experience, hospital, crying, ansgt.
Word count: 2.5K
a/n: My God, I can't believe it's taken me over a year to get back. I missed this place so much. It's been an intense, crazy year. I finally got my dream job at the best hospital in Latin America. I'm so happy, but at the same time it's demanded everything of me, working long shifts almost every day, but its the price I have to pay. I hope you like this one, it was based on the song Death Wish Love by Benson Boone, which as soon as I heard it I immediately imagined something with our dear Buck. I confess I thought I'd do something angsty, but I don't think I have that capacity, he already suffers so much that I just wanted him to have a happy ending this time.
Masterlist
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You were the new firefighter in 118, and also new to the city. In order to follow your dreams, you left your hometown with everyone and everything you knew. You craved for bigger things, you wanted the big city, you wanted Los Angeles.
The team welcomed you with open arms, which was unusual to you. You werenât used to this or neither known by your affectionate gestures, but apparently everything was an excuse for a hug at the station. It was a bit hard to get used to all this affection, especially when you came from a place where you were always by yourself.
That was one of the main reasons you became a firefighter, you have walked through fire every single day of your life, why not make it your profession?
You were a source of curiosity between the team, always so quiet and so resistant to everyone's affection. It was hard to win you over. Especially because you had a rather difficult personality, you were fearless at work, you weren't afraid to go into the fire to save lives, you did it without thinking twice.
To Bobby you were a cause of concern, and sometimes the reason why he was having trouble sleeping. He knew this personality very well. It was the same one he had struggled for years to learn to deal with, the one he had to fight with so many times, he was very familiar with this death wish love, it was the same as Buckâs.
The blue-eyed man on the other side, couldn't understand why he couldn't take his eyes off you. Ever since you arrived a few months ago, your image has been running through Buckâs mind. You've become a challenge for him. But not in a bad way, he wanted to get to know you, he wanted to understand you. But you didn't make things any easier for him, especially when today was the first time he'd seen you laugh.
"You're drooling" he snapped back to reality when he heard Eddie mocking next to him.
"Shut up" Buck said, turning his gaze back to you playing with his niece.
You had a beauty he couldn't explain, an angelic one. You had this steely gaze and looking at you felt like suicide. He would fall to his knees if you asked him to. How could someone so delicate also be so dangerous?
The way you were reluctant to follow Bobby's orders, you'd walk into the fire without a second thought. You would take risks without thinking about your own safety, just thinking about everyone else. He saw how hard you worked, he saw how mad Bobby got when he ordered the building to be evacuated and you were always the last one to leave. You were intriguing and he was fascinated.
It was so strange for you. Being in Maddie's living room, with everyone gathered together like a big family, laughing and telling funny stories. The team met once a week, with all the families together, the children running around the living room, the smell of food in the air, the voices, the laughter.
You accepted the invitation after a few months of refusing, and now you spent the week looking forward to the moment when you would be together again.
Sometimes when you got home from a meeting, you cried. You cried because you never had that, you never had anyone who cared about you. You were an unexpected pregnancy, your parents didn't planned you, they didn't want you and that was never a secret to anyone.
And that's why you were surprised when one day you arrived early at the station and Hen had a cake for you that you had once said reminded of what your grandmother used to bake.
Or when another one Eddie handed you a drawing that Chris made specifically for you. Of the two of you playing together.
Or when Maddie sent you, through Chim, the cookies you said you loved one day while you were having coffee together.
Or when Bobby invited you to have lunch with him and Athena on a Sunday âcause he knew you were going to do it alone.
Or when Buck gave you a book he'd heard you say was your favorite during a conversation.
*
It was mid-afternoon on a Sunday. Your hands were shaking, your heart pounding. The words your father had once spoken echoed in your mind. "You will never be loved". But you were at a table with 118's entire family, and you felt loved. Maddie told you about the gossip from her work. Karen hugged you from the side every time you passed by her. Hen included you in every conversation. Athena calmly answered all the questions you were curious about her work. So why did you feel like an imposter? Why was your father's voice echoing inside your head? Why were you on the verge of an anxiety attack?
"I'll be right back" you muttered to the girls, but you realized how shaky your voice sounded. You were pathetic.
You barely made it to the bathroom, your legs buckled and you sat down in the corner of the room. You could hardly breathe, it was hard to pull in the air. Tears streamed down your face. Your heart was racing. Your hands were shaking.
You heard your voice being called from outside. Damn. You couldn't calm down, your hand was on your chest as if it could make the pain go away.
"Hey, hey. I'm here. Calm down, Iâve got you" it was Buck.
His voice was just a whisper in your ear. You let a sob escape your lips. Pathetic. You felt his arms around you, until you were all wrapped up in his arms. Why was he doing that? Why did he care?
He stayed there until you stopped crying. You were still in his arms, and it was so warm, so safe. Sighs came from your lips, and you couldn't imagine what a mess Buck's head and heart were in. He wanted you in his arms, not just now.
"I'm sorry," you whispered and tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let you, so you stayed.
"You don't have to talk about what's going on in there, but the day you feel like you need a hug to cry into, you've got mine" your eyes filled with tears again. "And don't ever apologize for it"
*
The smiles on your lips were becoming constant. And it was Buck's favorite image. You were letting people through your armor, you were letting your guard down, and it felt good. You now baked pies and cakes for the station on your days off, recipes learned from the girls after a few long afternoons of chatting and coffee.
Your laughter was contagious, and the boys would always crack little jokes to get them out of you.
Your eyes were now looking out for a pair of blue ones, all the time, everywhere. Eyes that were always looking back at you. Your hands were always looking for an excuse to bump into Buck's, just to feel that shiver run down your spine every time. And he would find any reason to text you, until the excuses became routine. You woke up every day with a good morning message and went to bed with a good night one. The little touches now became big gestures, Buck loved to brush your hair out of your face and tuck them behind your ear. And you loved to run your hand over the birthmark above his eye. You loved when his warm lips traveled up your neck to your lips. You loved when his hands ran over your body always so slowly and so gently, bringing goosebumps wherever they went. You loved making love with him. How he worshiped your body, how much he worshiped you. The way he made you feel loved.
You had a hold on Buck, and you didn't even know it. He had become attached to you, attached to the idea of having you by his side. The nights with you were the ones he could truly rest in, the mornings where he woke up to your soft kisses on his face, were the ones he would keep forever in his mind.
But he could feel that you were still resisting his feelings, and he was terrified of losing you. Buck was in love with you. It took months for him to realize that, but he did it. He loved you.
But one thing has never changed. And as Buck followed the loud murmurs coming from Bobbyâs office, where he knew you were at, he kept in mind the danger you were in at every call. He couldn't lose you.
"Hey, what happe-" he couldn't finish the sentence when he saw you walking out the door, since you brushed past him, bumping into his shoulder, without even looking him in the face.
Buck made his way to the room, where he saw his captain wiping his hands across his face, letting out an exhausted sigh.
"She'll end up dead if she keep acting like this, Buck"
"I know"
"After the last call, if she doesn't change her behavior, I'll be forced to suspend her."
"I know."
Buck couldn't lose you.
You couldn't talk to Buck yet, you were so nervous after your conversation with Bobby. You were trying your best, how could he tell you that you had a death wish love? You were saving lives, and it didn't matter if it cost you your own. You didn't care.
A new call ecoed through the station. It was something big. A fire in a shed. People were working at the time, so there were many likely victims. You were anxious, just as you were before any call, but you were ready for it. You were born ready.
"Be careful," Buck told you before you got off the truck and you nodded. You were always careful "I love you"
You turned surprised to Buck, you'd never said that to each other before. It disconcerted you.
"Buck, I-"
Before you could say anything, you heard Bobby calling you to give instructions and you had to run.
I love you.
The words echoed in your head as you entered the burning building. No one had ever said that to you. You didn't even know the weight those words carried.
"Sir, follow this path and the fireman will take you to the exit."
It was so hot. You'd already lost count of how many people you'd pulled out of the line of fire. Your head was heavy. It was getting hard to breathe.
"Evacuate the building now," you could hear Cap saying over the radio. Everyone agreed and gave their location. You were about to respond when you heard something.
It was a call for help.
You could have sworn it was a call for help.
"Captain, I'm in the east side, I hear someone screaming for help. I'm close, I can get them out"
"Negative, the building will collapse at any moment. Get out immediately"
Your vision was blurred.
I love you.
You couldn't go out and leave those people to die, so you went ahead. The way to the door was difficult, there was a lot of rubble, and when you opened it, you froze in place.
It was empty. The fire danced in front of you, mocking you. But the cries for help... you've never been so wrong before.
I love you.
âItâs emptyâ you murmured at the radio.
Bobby was shouting your name from the other end of the radio. You turned around, but it was so hard to breathe. You tried to find your way back, but everything was spinning. Buck was now calling your name.
I love you.
His words were running through your head. Your steps were now slow. The way out, you couldn't find the way out. You could hear the fire laughing at you. Stupid. Pathetic. You heard an explosion behind you, and it threw you off balance, bringing you to the ground. You'd been walking through fire all your life, and now it would finally take its place back. Your siren buzzed in your ears. That would be the end of you.
I love you too, Buck.
The moment Buck came out of the building and didn't see you outside, he tried to go back. But hands held him in place.
This couldn't be happening. No, no.
Bobby called your name on the radio and you didn't answer. It's empty. That was the last answer they got. You weren't answering. An explosion. On the east side, where you were.
Buck's knees gave way, and he went down. All eyes were on the exit of the building waiting for you, waiting for a miracle. But it never came.
Buck screamed, and he would scream until his lungs gave up.
Time seemed to stop. Buck's screams were the only noise to be heard. And another explosion. Tears rolled down trough some faces. No one could believe it. This couldn't be happening.
Buck couldn't lose you like this.
"We found her" some voice echoed over the radio.
Buck's heart could stop any second now.
But the building was collapsing.
He broke free from his friends and ran into the building, dodging all the fallen and burnt obstacles, and he saw you. You were in the arms of a fireman. He ran up to you and carried you out of the building. As soon as you stepped onto the sidewalk, the building collapsed. Buck held you in his arms with all his strength and ran, feeling the debris fly past you.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" was the first thing that came out of your lips when he put you on the stretcher and he shut you up, pressing his lips to yours.
Buck analyzed each of your wounds alongside Hen and Chim and you could see the tears streaming down Buck's face, the ones that were also streaming down your own.
You were still struggling to breathe, every inch of your body ached, and you felt on the verge of losing consciousness. Until you succumbed to the darkness that was calling your name.
*
You woke up a few hours later in hospital. Your hands were being squeezed and you could feel something wet running down over them. Tears.
Buck had his face in your hands, he had never felt so afraid before. And when he heard your voice calling him, it was as if he could finally breathe.
"I'm sorry, Buck, I-I don't know what happened-"
"I almost lost you today"
Your heart broke into a million pieces. You did this to him, your recklessness, your impulsive behavior. It was your fault.
"I'm sorry"
Tears were now streaming down your face and he moved closer, running his hands gently down your cheeks.
"I was terrified of losing you. I'd die if I do."
"I would never leave you"
"Promise?"
"I love you, Buck. And I'll love you to death"
"Please don't let it be soon"
You smiled. No one had ever loved you like that.
"It won't."
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BLOOM FOR ME
PAIRING â finance major!mingyu x law major!reader
WORD COUNT â 18.1k
SYNOPSIS â even though you and mingyu share the same friends, thereâs a clear distance between you. when you make a drunken mistake, he suddenly becomes increasingly aware of your lack of a relationship with him, and he takes on the challenge of changing it â not expecting to fall for the ice princess who turns out to be less cold than he thought.
TAGS â college au, slice of life, strangers to fwb to lovers, angst, fem!reader, slowburn-ish, rollercoaster of somewhat unrealistic events, minor use of the fake dating trope, not proofread, explicit sexual content, inexpressive!reader, fear of intimacy, once again a fic that seemed better in my head than the finished product but idc!
âȘ â pearly drops - bloom for me,, kid cudi - kitchen,, the fugees & ms lauryn hill - killing me softly with his song
NOTE â sooo this fic is pure self-indulgence because i wrote mc as a character very similar to myself! some of these scenes are based on my own experiences :D my personality type is intj which i incorporated a lot here, do with that what you will x
you and kim mingyu just don't work.
to be honest, you donât think youâve ever met anyone who didnât like him or get along with him. most people on campus either wanna be him or be with him â which makes sense, âcause he seems to have it all. heâs smart, talented, and awfully good-looking.
and in hindsight, you have no clue as to how or why you landed in his little clique a few months ago, which is composed of a bunch of guys who appear to have very little in common.
all you remember is how joshua, a pre-med student with a soft voice and a passion for playing guitar, introduced himself to you as you were both assigned to help out with student orientation week at the start of the new academic year, and the rest became history.
youâre not sure how he managed to wiggle his way into your personal life, or why he seems so goddamn keen to be there for that matter. the same goes for his friends â chan, seungcheol, soonyoung, minghao, seokmin and mingyu. youâre closest to joshua and seokmin, though you get along well with most of the group.
soonyoung is pursuing performing arts, and heâs loud â extremely loud. you like his sense of humor though. chan does theatre and has mentioned he wants to have his own dance studio later in life. seokmin also does theatre and is arguably the biggest ray of sunshine youâve ever met. cheol is a business administration major, a great debater, has quite the fire in him, and he looks great in a suit. minghao is more reserved â a psychology major. very sweet and polite, likes to meditate and is surprisingly good at martial arts as well.
and then thereâs mingyu.
he studies finance, though heâs considerably less obnoxious than most of the students who pursue said degree. from what youâve gathered, he has quite the range of talents, which, in all fairness, is pretty impressive.
the guy might as well be the complete opposite of you. heâs popular, loud, outgoing, smiles a lot, known to have a real heart of gold. an entertainer.
you find yourself at the other end of the spectrum. much more on the quiet side, usually only speaking up if you deem it necessary with a sarcastic quip, more often skipping social gatherings than actually attending them.
yet in spite of your closed-off nature, the majority of people closest to you are extroverted, always trying to pull you with them in their adventures, though remaining respectful and understanding when you donât come with â because thatâs just the way you are.
perhaps thatâs the sole reason why your relationship with mingyu can easily be described in a single word.
non-existent.
neither of you have anything against each other â itâs just that, out of the group, you seem to have the least of a connection with him. you certainly never do anything together or talk to one another when youâre not with the rest of the guys, and even during the moments you are, saying youâve had a proper conversation with him would be an overstatement.
for the most part, aside from saying one-worded greetings and goodbyes, you pretty much just disregard the otherâs existence.
or, well â that used to be the case.
because thereâs this dirty secret the friend group doesnât know about â and thatâs that you and mingyu slept together.
it happened only a few weeks ago. it was supposed to be a simple, fun night dancing and letting loose at soonyoungâs party, which he hosted right after midterms were over. everyone got drunk, including you â way more drunk than usual, it was terrible â and the only thing you remember is waking up in a room youâd never seen before, a bed that definitely didnât feel like the one you wake up in every morning, your clothes discarded on the floor, and his warm body next to yours.
had you been even the slightest bit sober back then, you absolutely wouldnât have gotten into bed with him.
itâs not that you donât find him attractive. on the contrary. heâs sex on a stick, with his strong arms, small waist, sharp jawline and beautiful tan skin â itâs no surprise heâs done several modeling jobs for some extra cash.
but despite all of that, casual hook-ups with people in your circle are not your thing. theyâre not his either.
neither of you remember much of that night. you two are rarely ever alone together, so itâs practically been impossible to talk to you about it, and youâve never been close enough with one another to even text or meet up.
after the incident, you just continued living your life like everything was the same as before. honestly, for the most part, it was.
but mingyu likes to take risks in life. that, and being open about his feelings is just who he is. so he wants to talk to you, privately.
when he finally does manage to catch you alone, which happens to be right after youâve walked out of your criminal law class, youâre not exactly welcoming to him.
âwhat are you doing at the other side of campus?â is all you greet him with.
âiâm good, thank you for asking.â he jokes in an attempt to make things more light-hearted, but you donât pull a single muscle, face remaining the exact same, so he swallows and clutches the strap of his shoulder bag a little tighter. âi, uh... i felt like we should talk about what happened the other night. soonyoungâs party.â
âwhatâs there to talk about?â
âwhat we did. together.â
âwe fucked. so what?â
oh. thatâs a much more blunt response than he expected, even if he is used to those kind of remarks from you.
âwellââ he cuts himself off, really cursing himself for not properly thinking of what to say to you before showing up outside of your lecture hall all of a sudden, âdonât you think itâs something we gotta discuss?â
âyou want a professional analysis about how much i enjoyed it or something?â you ask with a furrowed brow. ânot that iâd be able to give you one, considering it was all just a blur.â
âyeah, i canât exactly remember much of it either. look, i... i donât usually hook up with people iâm friends withââ
âexcept weâre not friends. i donât think youâve ever said as much to me as you have in this conversation.â
even though itâs true, it does feel like a slap across the face for a reason he canât pinpoint. heâs aware you can be blunt sometimes, but this is more than people usually get out of you.
âfine. weâre just acquaintances. but we do share the same friends.â he says after a moment of awkward silence, his tone sounding a little colder than before, subconsciously trying to compensate for your unwelcoming attitude. âdoesnât that matter to you?â
sucking at the inside of your cheek, you sigh. âdid your roommate notice me?â
his roommate being jeon wonwoo, the cute computer science major who likes to spend his free time working out and playing video games, always walking around campus with headphones stuck in his ears and a pair of glasses up on his nose. he and mingyu are both on the football team, youâre pretty sure.
âno. he didnât see a thing. not as far as i know, anyway.â
âgood. so that means we can both just pretend it never happened, yeah?â the smile you put on your face is so painfully fake that it makes him clench his jaw.
âyeah.â he mumbles bitterly, and you move away from him, going down the stairs, and mingyu rests his head against the wall, huffing in annoyance and embarrassment.
to be completely honest, heâs not sure why the whole ordeal bothers him so much. what you said was all true, even if you couldâve worded it differently.
many, many questions pop up in his mind. do you have something against him? do you not like him? if thatâs the case, why? has he ever said something that caused you to get a bad impression of him? what do his friends have that he doesnât, aside from considerably shorter legs?
heâs not sure what it is about you he finds so weirdly intriguing, but whatever it is, heâs discovered a fresh determination in him to find out.
mingyu is unsure of how to handle the situation with you. every time you look at him, all he sees is utter disinterest, though thereâs very little he can make out of your facial expressions in the first place.
he finds himself seated at a table in the library with minghao, seungcheol and chan, pondering over the exam heâs got coming up at the end of the week, said thoughts coming to a halt once he spots you at the other side of the hall.
his gaze involuntarily follows you as you appear to be scanning a few bookshelves.
if heâs being honest, heâd already noticed you before the drunk-sex incident. he always thought you were pretty, and based on your your vocabulary and the way you spoke, he figured you were intelligent as well, so he silently admired you from afar.
and now, those feelings have only increased.
his eyes linger on your figure. itâs such a fucking shame he doesnât remember his hands on your skin, the touch of your lips â he could actually cry just imagining it.
then he feels heâs getting too far in the sexual innuendos in his head, so he tells himself to stop right the hell now before his excitement starts to show in his pants.
god, heâs never like this. why is it irking him so much?
itâs chan â the youngest of the group â who grabs your attention, beckoning for you to come over to the table.
when you move to sit down on the empty chair between him and seungcheol, they begin to talk about how the shitty assignments theyâre working on are so not worth their time, how one of cheolâs professors didnât bother showing up for his lecture yesterday morning, and minghao mentions something about a new group project of hisâ
âand the whole fucking time, you feel mingyuâs gaze burning on you.
it both confuses and intrigues you. what the hell does he want now?
then when two of the boys get into a discussion, you stare right back at him, almost as if to tell him youâre aware of him watching you and youâre watching him as well, and a very thick yet silent tension rises between you.
he swears he catches the smallest glimpse of amusement in your features before you get up and tell them youâve got to go to your lecture.
cheol raises his thick brow at his friend. âyouâre uncharacteristically quiet.â
mingyu shrugs as he watches you walk out of the hall. âyeah, sorry. been a little preoccupied.â
âi can tell, âcause arenât you supposed to be starting football practice right now?â
that snaps him out of it. he checks the silver watch sitting on his wrist, cursing to himself before grabbing his things and hastily throwing them into his bag before sprinting to his dorm.
the following day, as heâs working on his assignment, he decides to take out his phone, typing your username into the search bar on instagram.
your social media profile is as mysterious as you are. zero posts, some pretty aesthetic pictures found in your highlights as well as one or two with you on it, though blurry or with your face partially hidden.
itâs usually much easier for him to get close to people, yet with this, with you â it feels like the way is blocked, and he doesnât know where to start.
tapping his finger on the table, he tells himself to make some kind of conversation with you the next time he sees you.
which is several days later, when the friend group is meeting up at a restaurant for dinner and drinks.
by the time he arrives â later than planned due to a study session running behind â everyone is already seated, including you. heâd hoped to secure a spot next to you for once, but youâre seated between joshua and seungcheol instead. the only vacant spot is at the other side of the table.
well, shit.
the worst thing is that you donât seem to spare him a single glance. every time he looks your way, youâre either zoned out or intently listening to the boys around you as they tell their stories, with you throwing in a sarcastic little quip every now and then, making them laugh.
what he doesnât notice is that you do look at him â heâd be surprised by the amount of times your eyes wander back to him, subtly observing him from a distance when he rambles about something his professor did during class or what went down during football practice.
heâs so handsome that it almost gets annoying to look at him.
itâs an hour before midnight when you decide to get going â you have an unnecessarily early class tomorrow and still gotta get back to your dorm. so you grab your coat and bag, announcing youâre leaving, after which they say they donât like the idea of you going back on your own, but you refute it and tell them youâll be fine like always.
âi can take you. i just remembered i gotta catch up with some things anyways before class tomorrow.â
mingyuâs sudden statement makes you blink at him a few times.
itâs not that heâs never offered to take you home before, ever the gentleman, but the situation always ends up with you either going home on your own with them keeping an eye on your location or one of the other guys taking you back, so his sudden eagerness to escort you to your dorm catches you by surprise.
itâs mainly joshua and minghao who catch onto your slight change in demeanor, but their puzzled looks are gone as soon as they came. theyâve had quite a few drinks, after all, and youâre pretty sure soonyoung is so drunk heâs on the verge of tears at the other side of the table, distracting them.
both you and mingyu say your goodbyes to the rest of the group before exiting the restaurant, embracing the fresh air outside.
itâs early october, your favorite time of year. youâre fond of the cloudy skies, the temperature right between warm and cold, and the leaves changing colors.
mingyu walks next to you on the sidewalk, his hands shoved into the pockets of his dark denim jacket.
âiâm sorry for being rude the other day,â you speak up, breaking the silence, âi have a habit of being too straightforward for my own good.â
oh.
he didnât expect this from you, but itâs a pleasant surprise, even if youâre not looking him in the eye at all.
so he shrugs. âitâs okay. looking back, i didnât really know where i wanted the conversation to go, anyways.â
âi assumed you were just gonna ask me to keep it between us.â
âi didnât even think about that, to be honest. i just donât do stuff like that with friends, so... i guess i was just curious about your thoughts or something.â
you bare your teeth in a bitter smile, still refraining from looking in his direction when heâs clearly looking at your face. âyou called me your friend again.â
the comment doesnât sit right with him. âdo you mind me asking why that bothers you?â
âit bothers me âcause itâs not the truth.â
god, you certainly do not sugarcoat things.
âdo you... is there anything i did to make you dislike me?â
mingyu watches the way you clench your jaw at his question. it intrigues him. âi never said i disliked you, mingyu. iâm just picky about who i consider close to me and i donât want anyone to get the wrong impression. sharing friends doesnât make us friends.â
ânot even a little bit?â
you chuckle again. he wonders what heâd have to do to elicit a real, genuine laugh from you. âname one of my hobbies. something i like to do in my spare time. the basics donât count.â
he eagerly starts his sentence. âwell, you like to... yâknow... hang out with us.â
âi said no basics.â
âokay. fine. you got me. but, to be fair, you also gotta admit you donât exactly share much.â
âyou know who i do share things with? my friends.â you tease him, after which he laughs. you like the sound of his laugh.
âyouâre evil.â
âthank you.â
he turns around, walking backwards in front of you so he can face you, finally getting the eye contact heâs been waiting to get. âi wanna be friends.â
âcongratulations.â
âoh, câmon. work with me here.â
âi would if it wasnât so much fun to see you acting like this.â
mingyu feels a certain excitement rushing through his body when he sees how you look at him. âletâs get to know each other better. how about twenty questions?â
âoh, you mean like a conversation?â
he chooses to ignore your sarcasm for now. âiâll go first. whatâs a hobby of yours?â
âsuch depth,â you snicker, âi like to ice skate.â
âreally? thatâs cool.â he smiles, tilting his head. âokay. you gotta ask me a question now.â
âwhich of your friends is closest to you?â
yeah, he shouldâve seen something like that coming. of course you wouldnât go for small talk.
he ponders over the question before giving his answer. âminghao.â
âhm. interesting.â you just hum, clearly having no intention of explaining it, so you gesture for him to come up with another question.
âdo you think youâll ever be close with me?â
âno.â
âwhy?â
ânot your turn.â you tell him, simultaneously trying to find out how far you can take this. âhow many girls have you slept with?â
âfour. why do you think we wonât ever be close friends?â
âbecause weâre too different. you canât stand the fact that i give nothing away, i can sense it a mile from here.â
âitâs not that.â
âwhat is it then?â
âiâm⊠i donât know, a people person. i want to get along with everyone, want everyone i like to like me. maybe thatâs selfish, but⊠yeah. i like you and i wanna be your friend. it bothers me that you donât.â he feels the words suddenly tumbling out of his mouth are taking the conversation elsewhere, so he tries his best to not come across as too intense. âiâm sorry for pestering you about it, iâll just... walk you to your dorm and leave you be.â
he wants to increase the distance between you, but you donât let him. your hand moves to his upper arm, touching him, but itâs gone before he can even look at it.
physical touch has never been one of your strong points, despite craving it at the same time. âiâm gonna say it one more time and thatâs it â i donât dislike you. maybe⊠i donât know, maybe we could have a strong friendship, who knows. if you wanna prove me wrong, be my guest. i wonât stop you.â
âokay. anything i should know?â
you pout your lips as you think of things to mention. âiâm not a huge fan of texting. i prefer calling or meeting up in person. iâm more of a listener than a talker. iâm also a bit of a control freak so iâm not big on surprises. thatâs all youâre getting for now.â
he thinks over your words and smiles. âi can work with that.â
not much later, you arrive at the university campus, and you use your card to enter your building, walking out front.
mingyu clearly feels itâs mandatory to follow you all the way to your door.
once youâve arrived at your dorm, you lean against the doorpost. âthanks for taking me home.â
âyouâre welcome. see you tomorrow.â he says. normally heâd give his friends something like a hug when saying goodbye like this, but he has a gut feeling youâre not very fond of physical contact with people who arenât close to you, so he lets that go for now.
âbye.â the playful smile is audible in your voice before you close your door, and mingyu leaves your building with a sickeningly nice feeling in his stomach.
and he remains on your mind, especially once you watch him walk towards his own dorm from behind the window, unaware of your gaze.
it makes you scoff to yourself. youâll give it to him â heâs sparked your interest.
âhey. mingyu.â
heâs roughly pulled from observing you in his secure spot in the university library by jeonghan, his partner for a project heâs working on. âwhat?â
âwhatâs going on? youâre awfully distracted.â
âitâsânothing.â he responds, voice an octave higher. maybe he should quit this habit of looking at you every time he comes here.
âhas anyone ever told you youâre a shitty liar?â
âmany times, actually.â
âgood. âcause you are.â
jeonghan is shorter than he is, with more of a lanky physique and slightly longer hair. heâs also the most annoying little shit mingyu knows â despite the guy being older than him â because he somehow. knows. everything. all the time. he knows things about mingyu before he knows them himself. if anything, itâs a talent.
âso whoâs the girl?â jeonghan then asks in a more hushed tone, using his pencil to point at the girl in question.
mingyu looks in your direction again, taking notice of how nice you look today, and he just gives in to his friend, not even bothering to try and act stupid. âfriend of a friend.â
âwhat does she do?â
âlaw.â
âshe nice?â
âto a specific group of people, yeah.â
âoh, sheâs a little mean to you, huh?â
ânot mean. just distant. very distant.â
âthatâs new.â
âwhat is?â
âyou going for girls like that. itâs refreshing.â
âyeah, wellâshe doesnât go for guys like me.â
âwhat do you mean?â
âiâm pretty sure she doesnât like me at all. sheâs wildly unimpressed by my presence, anyway.â
âhow do you know?â
mingyu sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. âsheâs very close with joshua and seokmin, likes the rest of the guys too, but me⊠i donât know. weâve been in the same friend group for a year, and itâs like iâm the only one she doesnât feel comfortable with. bothers me.â
âyouâve known her for a whole year and itâs only bothering you now?â jeonghan senses thereâs more going on. âwhat led up to this? got into an argument?â
the younger of the two scoffs. ânot at all. the contrary, actually.â
jeonghan jokingly throws in the first thing he can think of. âwhat, did you accidentally kiss her when you were drunk or something?â
ânot entirely. we were both drunk, for starters.â mingyu comments, the next sentence muttered much more quietly. âand we had sex.â
a scoff of surprise leaves jeonghanâs mouth. âyou slept together? when?â
âsoonyoungâs party.â
âthat was weeks ago. havenât you talked about it? at all?â he asks, clearly invested in the story now.
âi brought it up, she brushed it off and said it meant nothing. told her i wanted to be friends with her a couple days later, but she said she doesnât think weâll ever be good friends âcause weâre too different, and itâs fucking killing me for some reason. she still said she was⊠open to friendship though.â
âah, you like her.â
âyeah, obviously. problem is that she hates me.â
âno, i mean, you like her. you donât just want to be her friend.â
mingyu is somewhat taken aback by his words. âi donât have a crush.â
âdonât fool yourself. youâd never get this worked up over someone not wanting to be friends with you â youâre worked up because you wanna get to know her better and she doesnât seem like she wants to get to know you at all.â
âi canât be in love with someone i hardly know.â
âdebatable. you still have a crush on her.â
âfine. whatever. say that were the case â purely hypothetical of course â what should i do to get her attention?â
jeonghan has that knowing smile on his face, the one that makes him look like heâs up to no good. âyou gotta get a little selfish.â
âcould you be a little less vague for once in your life?â
âcreate a circumstance where she spends time with you without it being planned.â he shrugs, as if that answers it. âsomething like getting stuck in an elevator for a few hours. you know what i mean.â
âwell, unless you were planning on hijacking the elevator somehow, i donât think i have all that many options.â
right there and then, the two recognize another student from their statistics class sitting a few tables further. sheâs giggling to her friends about something, hesitantly looking their way, pointing at them.
âspeaking of crushes, sheâs got one on you.â jeonghan mentions, raising his brow.
it doesnât interest mingyu all that much. âyeah, she asked me out a while back. i told her i was busy. didnât have the heart to flat-out reject her. in hindsight, maybe i shouldâve, âcause she acts like that every time i see her around.â
jeonghan canât help but take advantage of the opportunity currently presenting itself like a fucking birthday cake. âare you thinking what iâm thinking?â
âprobably not, since i have no idea what youâre getting at.â
he leans a bit closer to his taller friend, speaking in a more hushed tone this time. âyou could reject her â subtly.â
mingyu frowns at that. âhow?â
and jeonghan smirks a little to himself before heâs about to tell him his plan. âyouâve heard of fake dating before, right?â
the following day, you find yourself in the library of the law faculty, reviewing the slides of the lecture you didnât feel like attending this morning.
someone drops their bag ever-so-subtly on the table at the empty spot next to you, and when you look up from your notes, you recognize your dearest acquaintance.
you huff, removing one of your earbuds to engage in the conversation you didnât ask for. âwhat do you want?â
âyou have got to stop saying that when you see me.â
âno, i like it this way.â
âof course you do.â mingyu merely scoffs at your words, sitting down next to you. âyou look busy.â
âgee. itâs almost as if i am busy.â
âwhatâre you working on?â
âundoubtedly nothing you have any knowledge of.â
he rolls his eyes when you grin at him, clearly ready to dodge his questions with more of your sarcastic comments.
âare you always this much on edge?â
âmhm. i hope you are too â otherwise youâre taking up too much space.â
the comment has him frowning at first, and then he gets it, making him let out a vaguely impressed scoff. âyouâre cute.â
ânot exactly the word i would use.â
âreally?â he says, taking the cap off his water bottle, âi think it suits you.â
you squint your eyes at him, finally taking the bait. âwhat do you want? seriously.â
he shifts in his seat, clearly happy youâre finally going along with him here. âyou know the senior gala on thursday, right?â
âyeah. iâm not attending.â
âokay. hereâs the thing â i kind of have this girl in one of my classes who wonât stop bothering me about going out on a date with her and stuff.â
âgosh, poor you.â
âiâm serious. it sucks.â
âwhat does this have to do with you bothering me?â
âwell, i figured if she finally saw me with someone else, sheâd back off.â he explains, leaning a bit closer to you. âmeaning i need a plus-one whoâs willing to play my girlfriend for the night.â
âso?â
âso, iâd like you to be my plus-one.â he grins.
âwhy?â
âwhy not?â
âyouâre saying you wanna pretend to be dating?â you ask, and when he nods, you shake your head. âno oneâs gonna believe that.â
âyeah, they will. itâs perfect. same friend group, completely different majors so she probably doesnât know you â câmon, consider it.â
heâs surprisingly convincing, as if he already knows how to crack your demeanor. you remain stubborn, though. âout of all the girls youâve got in your contacts, youâre asking me?â
âyouâve made it clear weâre only acquaintances â i wanna change that. become friends. just like i told you.â
you finally lock eyes with him again, taking your pen away from the paper, refusing to back down once you notice how close he is. âi donât know what youâre expecting, but youâd get nothing out of a friendship with me.â
he keeps his eyes on yours. âiâll be the judge of that.â
when you roll your eyes at him, he can tell youâre considering it. âwhen does it start?â
âten.â
âdress code?â
âgo for a cocktail dress.â
twisting your lips, you push your tongue against the inside of your cheek, and even you are a little weak for those big, brown eyes of his. and you said youâd give him a chance, after all. âfine.â
âgreat!â he nearly jumps in excitement. âtext me when youâre ready and iâll come and pick you up.â
âyeah, yeah. now go. i got shit to do.â
and once youâve watched him cheerfully skip out of your sight, the tiniest smile rises to your face, after which you chuckle to yourself.
mere days later, on thursday, mingyu finds himself at your doorstep. itâs not like him to feel nervous â so why the hell is he this time?
you open the door hastily. âhey. you can come on in, iâm all ready except for the pair of earrings i canât seem to find.â
he watches as you search through small drawers in the cupboard by the wall. maybe he should be glad youâve got your back faced to him, because heâs subconsciously staring at you, checking you out.
the velvet red one-shoulder dress hugs your features just right, and heâs stunned in his place before you notice he still hasnât closed the door behind him. âmingyu. the door.â
âuhâyeah. sorry.â he stumbles, stepping inside, doing as heâs told before his eyes wander around your room. âdonât you have a roommate?â
âi used to have one, in my first year. got a single room after.â
âmust get quiet after a while.â
âi like it that way.â
your words remind you of his roommate, wonwoo. he figures youâre someone who prefers solitude after a day of being around others, which he keeps in mind.
once youâve found your earrings, youâre putting them in, and you notice him stepping closer to you. he actually looks criminally good in the black suit heâs wearing, his half-long hair sitting just right. the fucker might as well be a real-life prince charming.
youâre glad you went with smokey eyes. your look compliments his.
as you subtly watch him in the mirror, he comes to stand behind you, holding out the modest bouquet of red roses heâs been holding behind his back. âthese are for you. i appreciate that you wanted to come with me tonight.â
the gesture makes your eyes soften. âthank you. oh, they smell nice.â
mingyu feels a little giddy inside when you give him a little smile before putting the flowers in a vase with water. it might be the first time heâs seen you give one that is genuine.
the gala is taking place at a fancy hotel close to university. the walk there only takes a few minutes. once you're nearing the entrance to the party, dimly lit chandeliers catching your eye, he gently puts his hand on your back, just underneath your shoulder blades. you raise a brow, looking over at him, and he shrugs. âiâm your fake boyfriend for the night, remember?â
which has you chortling for a second. âthatâs not where to put your hands if you wanna make this believable.â
before he can change the position of his hand, youâre already doing it for him, pushing his hand lower with yours, watching the way his face drops when you allow him to go lower than your hips, breath hitching in his throat.
âthatâs better. you can hold me and kiss me on the cheek if you have to. not too much, itâs not the right time and place for it anyways.â
ânoted.â
once youâve arrived inside and given your coats away, you notice most people here are strangers to you, anxiety kicking in, internally wishing youâd consumed some alcohol before coming.
and your companion takes notice of this from the way youâre suddenly squeezing his hand, which youâre undoubtedly not doing on purpose.
âyou okay?â
âsure, iâm fine.â you faintly smile back at him.
heâs honestly considering saying fuck it, ready to ask you to just get out of here with him and go anywhere else instead â that is until one of your friends comes up to you.
âam i imagining thingsââ
âweâre fake dating, josh.â you answer him, increasing the distance between you and mingyu as if to emphasize your point. âhis idea, not mine.â
joshua appears all kinds of confused. âokay. um⊠justâwhy?â
mingyu presses his lips together. what he said about the girl bothering him was all true. could he handle it on his own? probably. is fake dating slightly unnecessary and a little dramatic of a solution? undoubtedly.
but he just wanted you as his plus-one so bad. he saw it as an opportunity he couldnât miss out on.
what can he say? jeonghan is weirdly persuasive.
âthereâs this classmate of mine who wonât get off my back about dating, so i figured sheâd quit if i showed up with a girlfriend. girlfriend being her.â
in spite of the explanation, joshua still looks at the two of you with a frown. âright.â
âiâm gonna go get us a drink. be right back.â mingyu says, almost regretting doing so when he realizes he has to take his hand off your back.
you watch him walk off to the bar, suddenly hearing your best friend chuckle softly next to you. âcanât believe i never considered you two before.â
âwhat are you talking about?â
âyou and him. youâd be a nice match.â
âwhat, me and mingyu? weâd be a disaster.â
âwhy?â
âweâre too different, josh. and donât even try to give me that opposites attract crap.â
his soft facial features melt into a smile that gives off the impression he knows something you donât. âi think youâd be surprised. thatâs all.â
whatever the fuck that means.
your fake boyfriend returns not much later with a drink for the two of you. despite your clear disagreement with joshuaâs words, you just canât help but think about what he said, especially when mingyuâs arm remains looped around your waist for quite a while as the three of you discuss the whereabouts of your friends.
the worst thing is that you donât even mind him touching you. youâve always been picky when it comes to the people who are allowed to as much as stand close to you, and mingyu was not one of those people until you grabbed his wrist after he took you home from dinner, which was only last week.
and thatâs not the only thing youâre becoming increasingly aware of.
mingyuâs popularity is a bigger thing than you thought. either that, or half the people here are from his faculty. which is highly unlikely.
being as observant as you are, youâve noticed several girls as well as guys pointing your way, making you feel uneasy.
so your hold on him tightens as you stare back at them, as if to silently tell them to fuck off and focus on someone other than your fake boyfriend.
youâre not actually jealous. no, thatâd be ridiculous. you canât be jealous of others wanting something you donât even have in the first place.
chan and seokmin arrive half an hour later, having pretty much the same reaction to the situation as shua. but they play along.
though not without noticing how comfortable the two of you are together.
after several hours of drinking, dancing and socializing, you feel in need of a break. âhey, iâm just gonna get some fresh air outside, okay?â
mingyuâs lashes flutter as he nods. âwould you mind if i came with?â
you gesture that youâre okay with it, so he takes your hand to guide you through the mass of people without losing you, the littlest of touches sparking an indescribable feeling in your stomach.
the air feels much colder now that youâve been inside the warm hotel for several hours. you sigh, leaning back against the brick wall behind you, the surface feeling slightly uncomfortable on your one uncovered shoulderblade.
mingyu takes fake dating very seriously, as it seems. heâs practically been unable to keep his hands off you, and youâre going to indulge in it for however long it lasts.
as youâre standing outside together, you notice heâs loosened up more around you, not hesitant to get close either. heâs certainly not afraid to put his hand on your thigh, and you make zero effort to push him away.
his lips ghost by the skin of your neck, alcohol clouding his thoughts. âitâs nice to have you here. i wasnât all that excited about going at first.â
âyeah, yeah. i made your night ten times better.â
he snickers. âyou hear that often?â
âevery now and then. donât sound so surprised.â
âit doesnât surprise me. i was just hoping i was special compared to the others.â
âdoesnât everyone?â
âyouâre a little cryptic, anyone ever told you that?â
âmaybe.â you respond, chuckling, allowing his lips to touch your bare skin.
mingyu bites his lower lip, not afraid to look you in the eye to match your playful gaze with a similar one. âdo you not remember a single thing from the night of soonyoungâs party?â
he almost smacks himself for asking the question, seeing your expression falter a little. âno. neither do you, as youâve told me.â
âno, i donât,â he says firmly, mentally trying to slap himself for consuming so much alcohol that it makes him say things he usually wouldnât, âbut i kinda wish i did.â
âwhy?â
when he remains quiet, still trying to figure out the best way to respond, you gently take a hold of his chin to lift it up, making sure he keeps his eyes on yours. playing with him is fun.
âi...â he tries to utter the words, but god, he might as well be hypnotized.
before he can give his answer, seokmin loudly stumbles out of the building, catching your attention. heâs clearly had a bit too much to drink, his boisterous laughter echoing through the courtyard. seungcheol follows closely behind, a hand on his shoulder.
whatever moment you and mingyu were having is gone in an instant. cheol spots you, keeping his friend somewhat upright in the process.
âiâm gonna go take him home, couldnât find the other guys. i think soonyoung might be next, though.â he says, doing his best to keep seokmin upright in the process.
so mingyu nods. âokay. iâll go check.â
they say their goodbyes, after which he proceeds to looks at you again. you let your head rest against the wall again. âyou go ahead. iâll meet you back inside in a few.â
he silently agrees, returning to the people inside. you appreciate the silence, mentally drowning out the sound of people talking and cars driving into the background.
itâs then that some girl youâve never seen before walks up to you. âhey. youâre mingyuâs new girlfriend, right?â
the crease between your brows becomes apparent. âhave we met?â
âno, no. iâm in the same faculty as him. i was just curious. didnât know he was dating anyone.â
sheâs clearly had a bit to drink, though not enough for her speech to be incoherent. youâre not sure what to give her other than an awkward smile that looks anything but genuine.
but either sheâs too far gone to catch the hint or she simply doesnât want to. âwas kinda surprised to see him end up with a girl like you.â
and since sheâs probably not gonna remember this conversation tomorrow, you decide to engage in it for once. âwhatâs that supposed to mean?â
âi donât know, âs just... you seem a little distant. just different. heâs never really gone for someone like you. no offense or anything.â
you keep your composure despite a certain emotion brewing hot inside you, whatever the hell it may be. the sheer audacity of some people to stick their nose in business thatâs not their own. âgee. hard to fathom i landed a guy like that, huh?â
the sarcasm dripping from your tongue finally seems to get it through to her that her opinion is anything but wanted, so she mumbles something about going back inside, after which you lean back against the wall, closing your eyes for a moment.
worst thing is that sheâs probably right.
you and mingyu just donât work.
and you donât even have feelings for the guy, so why does it bother you?
the whole thing upsets you enough for you to go back inside, rushing to find him to tell him that you donât feel like staying.
when you return to him, heâs so used to his role that his hand finds your waist and his lips touch your cheek, but you smoothly back away this time. âiâm gonna go back to my dorm. you guys have fun.â
even over the noisy music and chatter in the background, he notices the change in your tone and behavior, which gives him the hint that something has upset you. âwhy? is everything okay?â
âiâm fine.â
âiâll take you back.â
âiâd appreciate it if you didnât.â you tell him, sounding harsher than intended. again. god, you keep messing up. you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose for a moment. âiâm sorry.â
mingyu is still processing your words as youâre leaving him behind.
then when youâre walking towards the exit, a girl accidentally bumps into you, spilling her drink over your dress.
goddamn. you wonder what the fuck you did to the universe for it to give you a night as shitty as this.
she begins to profusely apologize, very obviously sincere, but you just curtly tell her itâs fine, annoyance rising.
mingyu notices the situation from afar, deciding to go after you when he sees you walk to the bathroom instead of the exit.
the bathroom is awfully fancy, but it seems only fair for a hotel like this. clenching your jaw, you grumble while getting some paper towels, hiking the dress just a bit upwards.
god, youâre never agreeing to do that fake dating shit ever again. what a joke.
you huff as you keep trying to get the now barely visible stain out of your dress. youâre rubbing over the fabric on your thigh when someone walks in.
of course itâs him.
âany luck getting it out?â he asks, and you clench your jaw, throwing the wet paper towels into the trashcan beside the sink. your hands hold onto the cold surface, knuckles growing white as you focus on them instead of him.
âwhy am i here?â
âwhat do you mean?â
you turn your gaze to him, abandoning your quest of getting the stain out of your dress, annoyed that heâs acting like he doesnât know what youâre talking about. âwhy did you invite me here? out of everyone you couldâve gone with, why did you wanna go with me?â
âare you angry at me?â
âanswer the question.â
âi justâŠâ he trails off, trying to think of the right words. âi just figured it was a way to become friends.â
youâre actually going to lose your shit if he as much as utters the word âfriendâ to you one more time. âoh, jesus. cut the bullshit. why do you wanna be friends with me so badly?â
âi donât know, because⊠because it occurred to me â yâknow, after the party, after what we did â that we have little to no relationship and i wanted to change that.â
âoh, right. you just had to sleep with me before thinking of that.â
âno, i didnât. i just havenât been able to stop thinking about you since that night, and iââ
what the hell is he even supposed to say? heâs not even sure what exactly it is he wants from you. sure, he wants to be friends â but god, he spends so much time wishing he remembered what it was like to touch you that night, what you looked like underneath your pretty little dress, what you sounded like.
youâre quiet for a second before your whole demeanor changes, agitation shifting to intrigue. âso thatâs what this is about.â
âwellâwhat?â
âif you wanted to fuck, you shouldâve just said that. instead of dragging me to this shit.â
âiââ he suddenly feels suffocated by the small size of the room and your body getting closer to his, backing him up against the door. âthatâs not why iââ
âdoes it matter?â you ask, and he tries to hide his ragged breathing now that youâve pressed your front against him, clenching his jaw.
it doesnât help that youâre watching him like a hawk.
ânot to repeat myself all the time, but iâi normally donât do this with friends. i donât want you to have the wrong idea of me.â he exclaims, cursing himself for looking down at the way your red dress is accentuating your curves so well.
so you begin to unbutton his shirt, and he breathes heavily because of it. âwell, i guess youâre in luck. âcause weâre not friends.â
heâs about to tell you that he genuinely wants to be when you finally kiss him. itâs fast and intense and hungry.
whatever he expected, it wasnât this â but he canât find it in him to not give in.
his hand moves to the back of your head, pulling you closer, then proceeding to help you with unbuttoning his shirt, all without breaking the kiss.
mingyu shivers when your cold hands finally touch his bare chest, the faintest hint of your sharp nails nearly making him beg for you to dig them into his skin until he bleeds.
thereâs a shift in control when his feet no longer feel locked in with the tiled floor, his hands trailing up your legs, fingers gripping the skin of your thighs. he lifts you up, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist, only to have him pushing you up against the door, pressing his body against yours.
youâre rubbing your front against him, taking notice of the hard bulge in his pants, nearly crying out from his sheer size.
holy shit. no wonder you were sore after you slept with him â heâs fucking huge.
âgyu,â you break the kiss, âcan i suck you off?â
the way you breathily call him by his nickname for the first time is nearly enough for him to bust in his pants. âwanna taste you instead. please?â
with your back resting against the surface behind you, you watch him as he sinks to his knees, kissing the inside of your legs, goosebumps erupting on your skin.
âare you sure?â
âyeah. please let me.â
âokay. just make it quick.â
in hindsight, maybe that wasnât the best thing to say.
because heâs diving in faster than you can comprehend, lace panties pulled down in less than a second, making you gasp in surprise. your fingers grab onto a few strands of his hair, accidentally tugging on them, only to have him moaning in response, which is most likely the best thing youâve ever heard.
your teeth sink into your lower lip as a way to suppress your moans, only deeps hums and groans escaping you, much to mingyuâs annoyance, because he wants to hear you.
his fingers slide into your dripping wetness, your muscles tightening up from the sudden intrusion. he looks up at you while kissing the inside of your leg, a sight thatâs so fucking hot that you have to tell yourself not to get lost in it.
another surge of adrenaline rushes through you when he spreads your legs even wider, causing you to let out a broken moan, much to his satisfaction.
âyou can pull on my hair. i like that.â he breathes out with a genuine smile and lust-blown eyes, refusing to wait for your reaction and getting right back to what he was doing.
it doesnât take him long before heâs got you squirming above him. tugging his hair really does get him going, but youâre nearly at your limit, feeling the familiar feeling building up in your lower belly.
âgyuâfuck, âs too much, too muchââ you try to push his wrist away and make him look up at you again.
you swear you might lose it when you see heâs actually pouting over the fact that youâre pulling him away from something he clearly enjoys doing.
âbut, baby, i wanna make you cum.â
the pet name turns you on even more. âyou can. i just want you inside of me, right now.â
heâs rising to his feet, towering over you with his tall frame as you push him back against the door, kissing his jaw, neck and collarbone while undoing the buttons of his white shirt.
mingyu is surprisingly vocal, which you thoroughly enjoy. his lips find yours again, relishing in the remaining taste of you on his tongue.
âgodâwant me to fuck you?â
pulling your dress over your head, youâre left in your matching set of lingerie that you just so conveniently put on tonight. âare you seriously asking me that right now?â
âfine. bend over the sink, then.â
the difference in his tone and words makes you shiver with excitement. once you do as he says, a new shot of adrenaline courses through your body â because you completely forgot about the mirror thatâs now right in front of you.
so youâre able to watch him push his pants down, positioning himself behind you. his big hands are warm on your skin, the silver ring on his finger making you shiver.
his shirt is half unbuttoned, his hair a mess, trousers down to his ankles â but none of that matters now that heâs got you bent over in front of him, fingers trembling in excitement as he takes the condom from his pocket to slip it on.
all he can do is hiss and groan when he feels your heat wrap around him so nicely as he pushes into you. âyouâre so tight, jesusââ
you huff. ânot my fault youâre so big.â
it makes him laugh and simultaneously turns him on. âyouâre all bite, even when iâm trying to fuck you.â
âdonât act like you donât like it.â
he then finally bottoms out, both of you moaning, and he chuckles. ânever said i didnât.â
god, heâs so fucking attractive. he bites his lower lip as he throws his head back, his strokes slow but hard.
his girth feels so good inside you â and his touches are electric on your skin. his hands go from your ass to your hips, your stomach, everywhere.
and heâs certainly not afraid to get loud. especially when he feels youâre pushing your hips back against his. heâs convinced this is what heaven feels like.
âgyu, a little harder, please.â you plead, slightly beginning to struggle with holding yourself up by the edge of the sink.
âhow hard dâyou want it?â
âas hard as you want. i can take it.â
he gestures for you to turn over, lifting you up and pushing you up against the wall, burying himself inside you again before you can even comprehend it.
his fingers feel almost painful on your thighs with the way heâs digging into your skin. heâs sucking and biting right above your collarbone, leaving some pretty marks that will definitely be visible tomorrow.
you push his jaw upward so you can kiss him, and he sighs into it, tilting his head to get better access.
itâs like heâs trying to match his thrusts with your heartbeat at this point. pressure builds in your stomach when you whine his name. âoh my godâgyuââ
âi love it when you call me that,â he breathes out, so into it that heâs confessing everything on his mind, âyou donât know how much iâve thought about this â been fantasizing about this for ages.â
you hold onto his shoulder blades, nails digging into them. âthen you better make it worth my while.â
âsuch a brat.â he teases, a moan slipping out right after when you use your legs wrapped around his waist to push him deeper into you.
mingyuâs stamina is admirable â but heâs a simple man. youâre so hot and you just feel so good around him, and he knows heâs getting close to his release already.
you notice his pace becoming slightly uneven, his breaths erratic, a layer of cold sweat forming on his back.
heâs doing his best to hold out for you, to make you hit your peak first, but you actually need to see him come undone first.
âare you gonna cum, gyu?â
you have to refrain from biting your lip when heâs stuttering out a response. ânâno, not yetââ
âi want you to.â
âjesus, donât say thatââ
oh, heâs cute. heâs responding so well to your words, so you indulge in it a little bit more.
âwanna fuck me again later? without a condom? you can cum inside me. iâll let you do anything you want.â you tease â your words being the complete truth, because if heâd want to fuck you again, youâd sure as shit let him.
his brows scrunch upwards while he lets out another whine. âanything?â
âmhm,â you nod, âanything.â
his fantasies about you, the way youâre looking at him, the things youâre saying, the way you suddenly clench around him â itâs all too much. his release spills into the condom, his muscles flexing from the sudden rush of adrenaline shooting through him.
itâs enough to make your legs tremble, and you reach the climax youâve been aching for.
heâs still coming down from his high, face buried in the crook of your neck when he hears you chuckle. âso much for being friends, huh?â
he then smiles as well. âare we close enough for you to consider me as your friend now?â
âyouâre quite literally inside me.â
âknowing you, that doesnât really have to change anything.â
âoh, is that so?â you retort at his cheekiness. âsure. youâve made it to friend level 1. congrats.â
âgreat. level 2 is next, then.â
âgod, forget i said anything.â
âno going back now. youâre stuck with me.â
somethingâs very clearly changed between you since that night. mingyu has, in a certain way, changed your relationship.
because youâve successfully upgraded from strangers to fuck buddies.
and truth be told, he wants to rip his fucking hair out.
the sex is great. thereâs something thrilling and exciting about your secret relationship, both of you skipping lectures and sneaking away after classes with no one around you having a single clue.
and yet heâs come to the conclusion that this isnât what he wants.
he wants you. all of you, completely. but every time he tries to get even remotely close to you, you somehow manage to dodge it and change the topic.
it bothers him. but heâs scared to just put all his feelings on a platter â because he doesnât want to lose whatever he has with you.
something heâs also discovered is how utterly weak he is for even the slightest bit of your attention, the smallest of touches.
so when heâs typing away at his laptop in the study hall, noticing the screen of his phone light up as a message from you comes in, he canât bring himself to ignore it.
20:23: you look cute when youâre focused
the message makes him frown, and he looks around, trying to figure out where you are, since youâve clearly got your eyes on him.
so he texts back.
20:24: i always look cute ;)
tapping his fingers on the table, he waits for your response. the three buttons that indicate youâre typing suddenly go away, and he pouts, only to then be greeted by your voice close to his ear. âbit of an exaggeration, donât you think?â
âfuckinâââ it almost makes him jump and screech out of shock. âchrist, donât sneak up on me like that.â
you chuckle at his high-pitched reaction. âbad conscience?â
âno. youâre just scary.â
âthank you.â you grin with pride, moving to sit on the table, right beside his laptop. âyou busy?â
âjust going over some older lecture notes to prep for an exam.â
âwanna come over to my dorm?â
âfourth time this week. whatâs gotten into you? well, aside from me, obviously.â
âhilarious. really.â you remark, watching him laugh at his own joke, unable to help the smile rising to your cheeks. âwhat can i say? itâs a great stress reliever.â
âi know. give me a sec and iâll pack my things.â
as he closes up his laptop and textbooks, you look around the other tables â which are mostly empty, except for the one by the window, which is where you notice a girl shooting you a bit of a weird look once you make eye contact with her.
âmingyu.â
âhm?â
âthe chick by the window with the shitty earrings. you know her?â
he subtly looks into the direction of said window, recognizing the girl from his advanced statistics class. âyeah, i have a class with her. canât really remember her name though. why?â
âshe likes you.â
âoh.â he just shrugs, continuing to zip up his bag, standing up from his seat. âi didnât notice.â
âsure.â you chuckle sarcastically.
that makes him raise a brow. he feigns shock, causing you to look at him.
âwhat?â
âyouâre jealous.â
âexcuse me?â you monotonously ask, brows furrowing in disdain.
âitâs actually kinda hot.â
âoh, please. i have nothing to be jealous of.â
âand yet you are.â
âeither you shut your ass up or iâll find someone else to relieve my stress, kim.â
he laughs and you roll your eyes. then he slings his bag over his shoulder, his hands in his pockets as he follows you out of the study hall.
as soon as youâve entered your dorm room, heâs got you pressed against the wall, nipping at your skin. he makes you feel sickeningly good, putting your former boyfriends to shame â youâre certainly not complaining.
once heâs done with you and youâre completely worn out, you lay with your head on his chest, his fingers softly stroking your naked back.
you seem more on edge than usual today. less playful. tired, even. his voice sounds hesitant when he speaks up. âis everything okay? you look stressed.â
âiâm fine.â
he figures you either donât want to open up or you simply donât feel comfortable doing so with him, so he chooses not to pry, opting to let you know heâs there for you. âokay. well, if you need anything, someone to talk to, you can always come to me.â
you frown a little. refusing to act impulsively, you swallow your words, not saying a thing.
mingyu takes your silence as his cue to leave you be. a feeling of unease creeps into his body, and the room suddenly feels smaller than before.
so he gently moves away from you, sitting up to put his clothes back on. âi should probably go. wonwoo will be pissed off if i donât have the kitchen cleaned up once he gets back.â
heâs buttoning his jeans when you speak up behind him, admitting your reasons for feeling more stressed than usual. âiâve got two exams next week. theyâre extremely important, i have to pass them, i just⊠i canât focus for some reason.â
when he turns around, youâre not facing him. he leans against the tabletop, looking at you. âanything in particular thatâs bothering you?â
âi donât know. itâs justâŠâ you shrug your shoulders a little, unsure of how to explain it, âi guess i havenât been feeling great in my own skin lately, even though i donât actually have a reason for it.â
âmaybe i can help you study. could work as a nice motivator.â
âgyuââ you chuckle a little to reject him politely, but he sees it coming at this point, persisting.
âwhy donât we just try it? if you donât feel like doing it again, then, fine. we can always just restrict our activities to solely physical stuff again.â
âdo you even have the time to help me?â
heâs smiling, able to tell youâre thinking about it. âare you kidding? i can do anything.â
âalways so humble.â
âyeah, thatâs why you like me so much.â he laughs. âthatâs why iâm your friend.â
âwhatever makes you sleep at night.â
mingyu wasnât kidding when he said he wanted to help you, nor when he mentioned he wanted you two to be closer.
heâs putting in effort to make you like him, thatâs for sure. buying you coffees and snacks, offering to study with you whenever you mention difficult topics you have to cram for exams â heâs certainly establishing his presence in your daily life.
and you hate how easily you get used to it.
for whatever reason, you havenât had sex since that day either. youâre pretty sure he wants to prove that he likes you for you and not just your body.
which is sweet. but you also have needs, and theyâre worse now, knowing he can fulfill them extremely well, as heâs proved many times at this point.
so you text him to ask if he wants to come over later.
as heâs seated at a picnic table on the campus square, he notices your text, grabbing his phone to respond to you.
âyour girlfriend texting you again?â
mingyu looks up at joshua, whoâs sitting across from him with a pen in hand. he shakes his head. ânot my girlfriend.â
âshe might as well be.â
âshe doesnât like me enough to be.â
shua wouldnât call himself nosy, but heâs determined to get a better idea of what exactly is going on between you. âwhatâs up with you and her?â
âitâs complicated.â his friend responds, eyes narrowing from the rays of sunlight. âiâm not even sure, honestly.â
joshua has this ability to pry peopleâs hearts open and let their feelings pour out without breaking a sweat â how easily he does it should be studied.
âare you friends with benefits or something? situationship?â
ironically, those words are the complete opposite of what you and him are. mingyu huffs out of frustration, voicing his thoughts. âshe doesnât like it when i call her my friend, she appears to have an exceedingly low daily quota of emotions, iâm busting my ass off to get my own assignments done and spend as much time with her as i can and iâm pretty sure she doesnât even like me. at all. worst part being that i like her, shua. i like her.â
âhave you told her you like her?â
âsort of. in a friendly way. she just glared at me.â
joshua finds mingyuâs inner torment a little amusing, but he feels for him. âmaybe sheâll warm up to you. give it a while, sheâs a tough nut to crack.â
âis she open with you?â
âsort of. i donât think thereâs a single soul out there sheâs completely open with.â he sucks on the inside of his cheek for a second. âshe has mentioned in the past that sheâs actually very sensitive but just doesnât, like, really express it. and you gotta keep in mind that people show love and affection differently. give it time.â
mingyu takes a breath as he thinks over the words.
give it time.
which he does. he notices youâre gradually getting closer to him over the course of time, still not showing too much â but it feels different. you choose to sit with him more often than not when you meet up with the other guys, youâre spending a lot of time with him, and youâre showing initiative to make time for him. every time he lands in your bed, it feels more intimate than ever.
youâre starting to make him feel like he matters to you. his crush on you is getting out of hand to the point he needs to stop himself from gazing at you every time you look him in the eye.
just like right now. youâre smiling at him over something he canât remember â itâs a genuine smile, he cherishes those every time you flash him one as theyâre rare â and you just look so pretty.
a text message from one of the guys on the football team pulls him out of it. which sparks an idea in him.
âhey, i have a football game coming up this saturday. do you wanna come? you could finally see me in action.â he asks. when he notices the puzzled look on your face, he tilts his head. âoh, come on. friendship works both ways, you know that, right? team effort and all that jazz.â
his wording makes you chuckle. âfine. iâll be there.â
âyou wonât regret it. our team is great.â
âreally? then you better prove it. canât be cheering for the losing team.â
with a raised brow, he points at you. âwanna bet?â
âwhat do you have in mind?â
he considers his options for a moment. âif my team wins, i get to choose what we do in bed next time. as long as youâre into it too, obviously. if the opposite team wins, you get to choose.â
now thatâs an offer youâre certainly not gonna reject. taking on the challenge, you nod. âalright. deal.â
he shakes your hand ever so professionally, gathering his books since he needs to get to class. âoh, and, just so you know â my teamâs won regional championships for the past two years in a row. iâm just saying.â
you tilt your head. he winks at you before walking away from the table, and you smile to yourself.
damn that asshole for making you like him this much.
saturday arrives, and you find yourself walking by the green football fields, surprised by the amount of people who showed up.
mingyu mentioned he was heading here earlier so you just told him youâd be there, sitting with the crowd.
it seems like itâs going to be a cold-weather match today. itâs already dark out, and the rain just started coming down from the sky. youâre glad the bleachers come with shade canopies so at least you wonât be soaked by the time the game is over.
your eyes are fixed on mingyuâs back as he stands by the sidelines with the rest of his team, enthusiastically discussing whatâs most likely gonna be their strategy for the game.
then he turns around, still very engaged in the conversation, the wet strands of his hair framing his facial features. gosh, heâs incredibly handsome.
before running out onto the field, he looks back at the bleachers, scanning the masses before his eyes lock with yours.
he ever so dramatically makes a little heart with his fingers, teasingly motioning it towards you, and you put your middle finger up, making him laugh.
mingyuâs a real sweetheart, you have to admit. heâs growing on you.
watching the game is more fun than you anticipated. despite not being into football all that much, itâs great to watch the boys work together as well as they do.
youâre certainly not complaining when mingyu throws his vest on the bench halfway through the match, leaving him in a black compression shirt, emphasizing his strong figure.
shit. maybe you should watch him play more often.
itâs his team that seems to be on the winning side tonight â until the opposing team scores ten minutes before the end. both teams have the same score now, which is bad. ending with a draw would suck.
youâre now completely sucked into the game like the rest of the audience, desperate for mingyuâs team to score another goal.
the universe must be on their side today, because they do. three minutes left on the clock and none other than jeon wonwoo himself is able to kick the ball into the net, escaping the hands of the keeper.
itâs all yells of happiness on the field.
the referee blows his whistle to call the end of the game. everyone at your side of the bleachers stands up from their seats, yourself included, to cheer and clap for the boys, happy that they won the game.
you watch them congratulate eachother, some of their friends walking onto the field to do the same.
following the masses, you also leave your seat in the bleachers, walking down the stairs.
mingyu notices you coming his way and runs over to you, surprising you by lifting you up, giving you arguably the best hug youâve ever had in your whole damn life. he holds onto you so tightly, his big arms and tall frame caging you in â in the best way possible.
when he gently puts you back down, his one hand briefly finds your cheek, which catches you off guard, but you donât shy away from it.
heâs so tempted to just say fuck it and kiss you right now. you look so pretty, and your eyes â your eyes. he could stare into them forever and love every second of it.
but thereâs too much at stake to get impulsive. âthanks for coming.â
âyouâre welcome.â you blankly respond, making him smile a little.
âhow did i do? good enough for your standards?â
you shrug at him, taking a brief look at his teammates celebrating in the distance behind him. âi was mostly focused on wonwoo, actually, but you were doing a good job too.â
he rolls his eyes before making a sarcastic comment. âyouâre hilarious.â
âsomething iâm very aware of.â
he fake smiles at you, and you reciprocate the gesture, patting him on the shoulder.
âwanna go catch a drink with me?â
âdonât you wanna celebrate with the rest of the team?â
ânot tonight.â he shakes his head. âi just gotta go get my bag. come with me?â
he intertwines his fingers with yours and you hardly notice it. which is bizarre if you consider how you had no relationship with him to begin with several months ago. âokay, yeah.â
you head to the menâs locker room with him, which is dark and empty. all the other guys are still out on the field, as you noticed when you were walking over here.
âthe lights havenât been working since yesterday, so watch your step.â mingyu tells you. the rays of moonlight coming through the high windows are enough to at least light up the room enough for you to see where youâre going.
you suddenly get an idea. âdo you think the guys are gonna be out there for long?â
âthey usually do. ten minutes, give or take.â he answers absentmindedly while taking his black duffel bag out of the locker with his name on it.
once he turns around, you push him back against the locker, taking him by the surprise, your finger pulling at the elastic waistband of his pants and boxers.
âi give credit where itâs due, you know.â
oh. oh. he only then understands what youâre getting at.
you always manage to make him a little nervous somehow â he lives for it. âin public? here? we could go back to yourâoh, shitââ
you make him stutter the moment your hand moves underneath his clothes to take a hold of his dick. âbut youâre already hard, gyu.â
christ. youâve got some nerve, putting up that soft and sweet voice as if youâre not fucking responsible for getting him hard in the first place.
he doesnât protest when you sink to your knees in front of him, pulling his boxers down his thick thighs, his cock springing free.
you grin a little to yourself before taking him in your mouth. heâs so hot like this, all hard and panting and begging.
âhâholy shit, that feels good.â he gasps, the warm sensation of your mouth making him go dizzy.
his hand moves to the back of your head. you take him as much as you can, using your hands for the part you canât take. he slowly becomes a mess, his head resting against the locker.
you look up at him when heâs shamelessly moaning at the feeling of your tongue swirling around him, his hands subconsciously pushing your head just a little bit forward, making you take just that little bit more of his cock.
arousal begins to pool between your legs, and you suddenly curse yourself for choosing to wear jeans instead of a skirt tonight.
âfuck, fuck, babyââ
you release him with a pop, a mix of spit and his arousal coating your lips. âwanna taste everything. canât make a mess here.â
itâs such a shame heâs still wearing his clothes. his stomach caves in so nicely whenever youâre sucking him off â like he canât catch his breath. itâs the best thing youâve ever seen.
his legs are trembling, and heâs embarrasingly close to his release already. âyou donâtâahâhave to do this here if you donât want toââ
ââm not leaving âtil you cum down my throat, gyu. you can do that, though, right?â
he nods, his adamâs apple bobbing as he swallows, his voice all soft and submissive. he canât help it. âyeah, yeah, iâll do whatever you want, baby.â
âgood boy.â you tell him, entirely unaware of the effect it has on him.
the moment you hollow your cheeks, itâs over for him. the salty taste of his release sits in your mouth before you swallow it, and his chest heaves while he pulls himself together.
both your eyes widen when you suddenly hear the voices outside getting closer, and mingyu knows itâs time to get the fuck out of here. he quickly pulls his pants back up, his bag in his one hand and your hand in the other as he drags you with him to take the back exit before anyone can notice either of you.
you both take a breather outside as you lean against the wall of the building before you burst into laughter together. he feels on top of fucking cloud nine, if heâs being truthful.
âyouâre insane.â he laughs, looking to the side to find you laughing and blushing at the same time. âyouâre blushing? after doing that? wow. who are you and what have you done with my friend?â
âyouâre getting special treatment, you know. i donât suck off my other friends.â you tease, shrugging your shoulders.
maybe he should consider pursuing a theatre career with the way he dramatically puts his hand over his heart. âdoes this mean i made it to friend level 2?â
âyou did. now youâve been downgraded back to level 1, though. whatâre you gonna do about it?â
he plays along with you. âwell, shit. canât have that. we can go get a burger with fries at that place near campus. my treat?â
âsounds good.â the words have left your mouth and that big smile is right on his face again. you playfully push his shoulder, cheeks hurting from the smile on yours.
heâs getting closer to you than you anticipated, and thatâs not a good thing, but for now, you tell yourself itâll be fine. how much closer could he possibly get?
another month passes by when, for the first time in a while, mingyu doesnât drop by your dorm. he doesnât text, doesnât call â and you find yourself worried about him.
itâs been nothing but complete radio silence from his end, which isnât a good sign.
youâve already left him several voicemails when chan lets you know heâs been having a terrible fever for the past two days. it leaves you with the urge to go and check up on him, so once youâve had all your classes for the day, you find yourself knocking on his door.
it takes a moment for him to answer it, wonwoo seemingly not present in the dorm.
when mingyu opens the door, surprise is painted across his face, the heavy bags under his eyes making him seem awfully tired. shit, you hope you didnât wake him. heâs wearing a plain white shirt with thin black pyjama pants, his hair an utter mess.
the surprise on his face is gone once you open your mouth. âyou look like shit.â
he snorts at your words. âwould you say that to me if i were on my deathbed, too?â
âabsolutely.â
he smiles at your attitude, finding it strangely refreshing. âwanna come in? i promise iâll stay at a distance so you wonât get it.â
you didnât think he was going to invite you in, but you accept the offer nonetheless. âi was wondering why you didnât call. then chan told me you were sick.â
he shuts the door behind you. âyeah, iâve been sleeping, mostly. watched some netflix too but it quickly gives headaches. iâm sorry for not letting you know â didnât think you were worried.â
you pause for a moment. âwell. you thought wrong. friends worry, donât they?â
the words make him smile. he didnât think you cared all that much about him for some reason â this changes that. âfair. whatâs in the bowl?â
heâs referring to the black bowl covered in foil you have clutched between your arms. you shrug. âsoup. i donât know if you already had some, but it worked wonders for me when i was sick a while back, so⊠yeah. i figured you could use it.â
his face lights up when he realizes you went out your way to make this for him. with gratitude, he accepts the bowl. âthank you, i appreciate it. looks really good. you can sit by my desk if you want to, by the way.â
as heâs walking across the room, you notice the mishap in his steps, like heâs about to lose his balance. âare you okay?â
âyeah, âs justâiâm a little dizzy.â
your hands find his shoulders â a touch that feels heavy compared to the usual skin-to-skin contact you share with him â to put him down on his bed. âdonât force it. if youâre about to faint, you might as well be lying down.â
his lids hang low, eyes nearly closed when you pull the covers over his body. you touch his cheeks and forehead with the back of your hand to get an indication of his temperature.
as soon as youâre about to tell him he probably has a light fever, it seems heâs already half asleep. you pull the covers up to his chest to ensure heâs comfortable.
you gaze at him for a moment as he snores softly, biting your lip as you curse yourself for giving him a treatment he doesnât deserve.
maybe mingyu likes to think he doesnât wear his heart on his sleeve, but thatâs far from the truth. even you have noticed heâs been looking at you a certain way recently, and thatâs saying something.
one look at him and youâre already feeling like a big softie. itâs ridiculous.
youâre scared of what you feel for him, but as long as you can keep your relationship like this, itâll be fine.
now that heâs asleep, you wander around his room. you know wonwoo must be at football practice, since mingyu is normally there with him at this time of the week.
you usually take him to your dorm, so youâre not in his all that often. your eyes rake across the framed pictures of his friends, family, loved ones, memories heâs made.
they stop, though, when recognizing yourself in one of the pictures. he promised you heâd frame one up as a way of âsolidifying your friendshipâ as he so politely put it.
still, you didnât think heâd actually do it.
smiling to yourself, you proceed to notice his laptop screen is still on. he mustâve been working on something when you knocked on his door.
out of curiosity, you check the screen, figuring he was working on the essay heâs been postponing for two weeks because he had difficulty getting started.
you take a look at the assignment and decide youâre gonna try to do it for him. luckily, the necessary paragraphs that ought to be studied beforehand and referenced in the essay itself came with the mail, so that makes everything a lot easier.
when mingyu wakes up hours later, he finds himself alone in his room. youâre gone, though he notices the glass of water on his nightstand has been refilled, his laptop is flipped open, and thereâs a sticky note attached to it.
slowly, he rubs his eyes and moves toward the desk to grab the laptop before sitting back against the pillows.
you mustâve written something on the note, he figures.
âhopefully the essay is up to the standards of your class. i did it in a separate document so you can just get rid of the whole thing if itâs not what you want it to be. let me know if you need anything else. xâ
he frowns, turning the device on to see what you worked on â and the screen lights up, only for him to realize you wrote the essay due for tomorrow. and with a few of his own additions here and there, itâs good enough to submit, which is impressive for someone whoâs not actually taking the class.
and right now, all he can do is smile at his screen like an idiot.
youâre at the university skating rink when you hear someone calling your name from the bleachers.
looking up with a frown, you suddenly notice a tall man sprinting your way, so you skate towards him. âmingyu, what the hell are you doing here?â
âi got 87/100 for the essay. for the one class i always hate. youâre a genius.â he exclaims, absolutely beaming at you.
you suddenly remember doing the essay for him, snorting at his reaction. âso iâve heard. good to see youâre doing better.â
âis there anything i can do in return?â
âdonât worry. i like writing essays. besides, you already helped me out plenty of times. it was the least i could do.â
the words coming out of your mouth hardly match your facial expression, but he finds heâs gotten used to it now. he understands you better than ever before. âyou know how you said iâd get nothing out of a friendship with you?â he recalls, biting his lip for a moment, âyou were wrong.â
a mere chuckle escapes you. âright. you get top-notch essays and bowls of chicken soup.â
your comment was sarcastic, but he remains serious. âyouâre wonderful, you know that?â
itâs not often people use a word like that to describe you. it feels weird hearing it, but your attitude remains the same. âam i?â
âyeah, you are,â he nods, pushing out more compliments, âand iâm glad to have you in my life.â
the playful expression on your face falters â like a glitch occurring in your system. mingyu is starting to break through your hard exterior remarkably easily, and thatâs beginning to scare you a little.
he leaves without saying another word, but the look on his face is enough to tell that heâs feeling the tension too. whatever relationship you have is becoming more intimate by day, most definitely passing the friendship it was supposed to be, and to you, that is very alarming.
and you suddenly refuse to let it go any further.
whenever he texts you, you either tell him you donât have the time to come over or nothing at all. you avoid him like the plague, ensure not to go to social gatherings if heâs going be there and stay well away from all the places you and him studied together. it hurts, because you do miss him, yet you manage to keep it up.
but you can only do so much. unfortunately, mingyu is smarter than you hoped.
after two weeks of you avoiding him, he decides heâs had enough.
when youâre almost about to leave the dorm for your lecture, you hear someone knocking on your door. you open it to find him standing there, and he walks right by you, not bothering to ask whether he can come in.
âwhy have you been avoiding me?â
âi gotta leave for my lecture, i donât have time for this.â
âso make the time.â he says sternly, jaw clenched. âanswer the question.â
âi havenât been avoiding you.â
âsure. so itâs a coincidence you suddenly stopped talking to me?â
you huff in frustration and close the door, leaning with your back against it. âno, it isnât.â
he raises his hands in defeat. âso, why?â
âitâs been fun. i donât know. but youâve proved what you wanted to prove, so⊠good for you. we can both move on now.â you shrug, hardly sounding convinced of your own words.
âyouâre lying.â he breathes out, scoffing to himself. heâs baffled that you think heâd consider it believable at all. âfour months ago, i wouldâve bought that. but not now.â
âbelieve what you wanna believe. i donât really care.â you give him the cold shoulder, attempting to open the door so you can leave, but he immediately shuts it to stop you from doing so.
âdonât bullshit me. you care. i donât know why the fuck youâre so hellbent on not admitting that, but itâs the truth.â
heâs beginning to get on your nerves. âwhat fucking answers are you even here for? since you claim to know everything thatâs going on inside my head already.â
itâs then that he starts to show how genuinely upset he is at you pushing him away. âwhat makes me so different from the other guys? joshua, seokmin, chanâall of them. why is it so easy for you to be close with them but not with me?â
âbecause you keep trying to get closer to me! from day one, youâve been saying you wanna be friends with me like the rest of them, but your actions donât line up with that.â
âso what? i like you and iâm pretty damn sure you like me too.â his voice is softer, face closer to yours, those brown eyes of his working their way straight to your heart. âwhat are you so afraid of?â
either youâre imagining things or heâs leaning in to kiss you. his lips are so close before you feel them on yours, a sensation you missed like nothing else.
your fingers touch the back of his neck. itâs hard not to get lost in the feeling of his mouth on yours, the smell of his cologne making it even harder.
kissing mingyu is the closest youâll ever get to heaven, but right now, all itâs making you feel is guilt and shame.
so you pull yourself away from him, breaking the kiss, hands feeling heavy on his chest. âclose the door on your way out.â you whisper, leaving him alone in your dorm.
he stands perplexed in his place for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose, processing what just happened.
âfuck.â
itâs been a week, and he hasnât called nor texted you since that conversation. you assume that heâs decided to move on.
which is understandable. if you were him, youâd be done with it too.
it feels strange to be going about your day without him dropping by or talking to you. like he left a void youâre unable to fill. and it hurts â you miss him.
youâre having lunch with seokmin and minghao in the cafeteria when heâs suddenly standing in front of you by the table. âi just got a call from the gallery manager â weâve got it to ourselves this friday evening!â
minghao smiles widely, the sweet sound of his excited laughter intriguing the rest of you. he turns his head to explain. âme and mingyu have been trying to rent the gallery so we could finally be able to put our work on display. apparently, it was just confirmed we managed to pull it off.â
hao is a passionate painter â mingyu a photographer. their love for art is one of the things that binds them together, and theyâve mentioned wanting to have their own exhibit for a few months now. despite the things that have happened, youâre happy for them.
âthatâs great! we can come, right?â seokmin asks, already grabbing his phone to put it in his agenda.
âyeah, you guys better.â minghao answers, his gaze shifting to you. âyou have to come too. youâre free, right?â
heâs aware of things between you and mingyu being tense right now â though he doesnât know why â but he still thinks itâd be good for you and him to see each other.
your eyes meet mingyuâs for the first time since your last conversation a week ago, and hao follows your actions, looking at him as well.
mingyu subtly looks away, hoping his friend didn't catch him staring at you. before he can utter the words he wants to say, you tilt your head, already speaking up. âsure. i'll be there.â
he unintentionally gives you a puzzled look, and you pop a piece of gum in your mouth, looking at your wrist as if thereâs a watch there.
there isnât. âwonât you look at the time. iâll see you guys later.â
they briefly say bye to you, very much used to the way you dismiss yourself, and mingyu watches the interaction as if itâs the first time witnessing it â as if he hasnât known you to be like this for several months.
he watches you walk out of the cafeteria, confronted by his two friends staring at him. âwhat?â
âyouâre deep in it.â minghao remarks. âwhen are you guys finally gonna admit that you wanna be together?â
âitâs not that easy.â
seokmin frowns, connecting the dots before gasping. âwait. you and her are a thing? since when? why didnât anyone tell me this?â
the other two just deadpan a stare at him.
on friday night, you attend the art exhibit. you know heâs been working hard on the collection, and you certainly figured you were gonna be confronted with mingyu as well, but this is one gathering you couldnât afford to miss. so you choose to try and forget the drama for one night.
youâre wearing a little black dress with lacy tights and sleek ankle boots, an outfit you feel nice in.
the gallery is buzzing with friends of the artists as well as people who frequent the place whenever a new exhibit is up. perhaps some pieces will be sold tonight.
as youâre passing some of mingyuâs framed photos, you hear his familiar voice behind you.
âi was surprised when you agreed to come.â
when you turn your head, heâs standing there with his hands in the pockets of his fitted black pants, the deep cut of his white blouse exposing just a bit more of his upper chest than usual, a silver chain sitting all pretty on his neck and collarbones.
personally, you find itâs relatively rare to find men with good taste in fashion, but heâs definitely got it. he looks good. really good.
biting your lip, you give him nothing but a cool response. âcame to see if you were any good.â
âand? whatâs your judgement?â
âhavenât made up my mind yet.â your tone turns into a more teasing one, seeing as he appears considerably less hostile than you. âdoes my judgement really matter that much, though?â
he nods so quickly, almost as if he were hypnotized by you. âmore than you know.â
him showing you affection actually makes your heart shatter. heâs so genuine in it too â and you just donât know what to do with all that love he so easily gives you.
people pass you left and right, completely unaware of the heavy feeling currently bubbling inside your chest. youâre crumbling under his gaze and he fucking feels it.
and this situation is precisely the one thing you were so afraid of. you know he knows how to poke into your heart, he knows when youâre lying to him, he knows when youâre upset or hurt â and the idea that thereâs someone out there who can see all of that just by looking at you utterly terrifies you.
in moments like these, your expression doesnât gradually change. it falls hard and quick, sometimes very visibly, just like right now. the blank stare is gone, your lips parting, eyes blinking erratically â itâs like you received a slap to the face.
âyour photography is beautiful, mingyu. youâre talented, but you didnât need me to tell you that.â your voice breaks in the middle of your sentence and you leave him behind, heading into the ladiesâ room, hoping he wonât follow you.
you exhale when he doesnât.
knowing itâs way too early to leave, you pull yourself together, and once you get out of the bathroom, you make it your mission to avoid him for the rest of the night. if that means talking to god knows how many new people, so be it.
minghaoâs paintings are beautiful. youâre in awe of his talent as you walk past his artworks, admiring each of them.
as the evening nears its end, the artist himself comes up to you with that gentle smile he often wears. âso, what do you think? do i have potential?â
âare you kidding? youâve got more than just potential. these are gorgeous. you should be proud of them.â
he thanks you, his hands sitting in the pockets of his trousers. âwhatâd you do to mingyu?â
you cross your arms over your chest. âwhyâre you assuming i did something?â
âbecause heâs been looking like a kicked puppy for the past few weeks. and i heard you and him suddenly stopped hanging out, so...â
taking a deep breath, you shake your head to yourself. âhonestly, iâm not even sure what happened between us. it came out of nowhere.â
minghao keeps his eyes on you even when you look away. âhe came out of nowhere and you started liking him.â
the comment makes your eyes widen, but you donât bother hiding the truth from him. he might be the most trustworthy guy you know. âyeah. so i pushed him away.â
heâs aware of your fear of letting people in beyond a certain extent. âwhat did he do?â
you could cry, honestly. your face is blank â your voice trembles. âhe said he was happy to have me in his life. god, iâm so fucking insecure.â
hao softly rubs over your shoulder blade for a second, a gesture you appreciate. he shrugs. âyouâre not obligated to do something you donât wanna do. but talking about it is better than leaving it unsaid. gyuâs a good guy. heâll understand it, but only if you give him the chance to.â
with that sentiment, he leaves you be, and you rub your arms, staring at the painting thatâs currently in front of you, only to realize itâs about two lovers.
thereâs a thin line between laughing and crying. you feel like youâre somewhere in the middle right now.
âchrist, i need a fucking drink.â you mutter to yourself, running a hand through your hair.
âmind if i join you?â
of course. why are you even surprised?
without looking him in the eye, you respond to his question with one of your own. âsure you want my company?â
âbeats going drinking alone.â mingyu shrugs next to you.
you let out a sarcastic chuckle at that. âwhatever you say.â
luckily for you, the nearest bar is around the block. the walk there is quiet. youâre not sure what to say to him, and you feel him subtly looking your way.
he holds the door open for you to go in first. the place is not all that crowded yet, only a few tables occupied, probably because itâs still relatively early in the evening.
since no one else is seated by the bar top, you choose to head to one of the high stools there, ordering two shots of vodka before even sitting down.
the bartender puts two shot glasses in front of you and pours the liquid in both until theyâre completely filled. mingyu looks at you as he picks up the small glass, and you just lightly tilt your head as a toast.
his facial expression is as bitter as the alcohol burning in his throat. he hates the way you look at him â like you donât give a fuck about him.
you look down at your glass. you still havenât exchanged a single word since leaving the gallery. what the hell are you even supposed to say? you didnât want to be here with him in the first place.
liar. the little voice in your head creeps in.
the silence feels as painful as trailing your nails down a chalkboard. surprisingly, itâs you who ends up speaking first.
âif youâre trying to make the situation more awkward, youâre succeeding.â
âiâm just trying to find the words. donât know where to start.â
your voice is hostile and sharp as a blade. âthen donât.â
of course youâre aware youâre being mean. but itâs to serve a purpose. every time you show this side of you, people always leave. better sooner than later, right?
mingyu, instead of feeling insulted by your attitude, looks at you as if heâs deciphering a puzzle. âi will. because i care.â
that makes you remain quiet. you just scoff instead, not knowing what to say next. he shifts in his seat to be able to look at him better â you do the exact opposite, turning your face away from him.
âcan i ask you something?â
you donât actually respond, save for the blank stare you give him. which he takes as a yes.
âyou not showing much⊠is it a front you put up or something you just do?â
an interesting question â one you actually have to think about. âthe latter. having a resting bitch face doesnât really help my case, i guess. but i also enjoy keeping people in the dark a bit. canât have everyone showing everything.â
âwhy not?â
blinking at him for a moment, you gently smile at him. itâs not a genuine one. âdo you wanna know why you feel at a disadvantage right now?â
âbecause your alcohol tolerance is better than mine?â
âbecause you canât tell what iâm thinking.â
he then puts his chin up to look at you better. you tilt your head a little, as if you were following his gaze, and he feels like heâs on the right track here.
âmaybe i kinda like that disadvantage.â he suggests, but you shake your head knowingly.
âno, you donât.â
âhow would you know?â
you suck at the inside of your cheek for a moment, taking a breath. âmy mom once said to me that it bothered her she couldnât tell what i was thinking.â you pout your lips as if youâre thinking about it. âi told her i liked that. being an open book is my worst nightmare.â
âwhy?â
âputting your thoughts and feelings on display make you vulnerable. being vulnerable makes you weak.â
âso you think itâs better to isolate your feelings completely â discuss them with no one? ever?â
âunless itâs necessary, yes. besides, feelings arenât black and white. do you know how difficult it is to convey them through words, let alone getting the person at the other end of the line to actually understand them?â
mingyu looksâno, gazes at you. âhow will you know if you donât try?â
âhow do you know i havenât? you think youâre the first person whoâs tried to get close to me like this?â you ask, tilting your head. âspeaking of which, iâve been having a real hard time trying to figure out what it is you want from me. iâm not buying the whole âi-just-wanna-be-friendsâ façade. never did. i thought it was the sex, but i initiated it more often than you did.â
âit wasnât for the sex.â he shrugs his shoulders. âi like you.â
âso youâve mentioned. since when?â
âsince⊠always.â
âwe never even talked before soonyoungâs party.â
âno, but i liked you.â
âbullshit.â you fire back at him, scoffing sarcastically. âiâm hardly likeable â nothing iâm insecure about. just a plain fact.â
âand yet i like you a lot. must be shocking.â he jests, the vaguest hint of a rising smirk on his face. âdo you like me?â
âi canât stand you,â you reach out to push his chin upwards so he looks up at you, only realizing how physically comfortable youâve become with him after doing so, âbut at least youâve got a pretty face to make up for it.â
itâs unbelievable, mingyu thinks to himself. the way you keep teasing him, keep being a little mean to him, and he just eats it all up.
every moment he spends with you has him wondering what on earth it is about you that draws him in so much.
but, fuck, he just canât get enough.
another shot is poured into your glasses, which you take between your thumb and index finger, nodding at him so heâll take his.
the liquid burns in his throat, making him feel hot, and you get awfully turned on when you notice the way he wipes off the drops that accidentally ran down his chin.
âi think iâve got you all figured out.â
his bold statement and matching attitude has you raising your shoulders. âoh yeah? go on. try me, iâm curious.â
the words tumble from his lips as if theyâre part of a monologue heâs been rehearsing for weeks. âyou feel so much, express so little. i bet it must be hard to keep up with your own mind sometimes. i think you often feel judged and misunderstood because of your attitude, but you donât mind that much, since you prefer a smaller circle anyways. you simply donât like wearing your heart on your sleeve, but itâd be a big mistake to think you donât have one â and honestly, iâd do anything to be close to it.â
itâs not often youâre speechless.
he describes you almost perfectly, and your body language subconsciously changes, confident and playful demeanor gone â the cold and distant side of your personality coming out again.
âgood job,â you tell him softly, moving to grab a few bucks from your wallet to pay for the drinks, âi guess i should say congratulations. you know what makes me tick. that means weâre done here, right?â
he finally spots the shift in your behavior. âwaitââ
âhave a good night, gyu.â
you curse yourself for accidentally using the nickname as you walk out of the bar, putting your coat on, feeling raindrops on your hair and skin once you get outside.
as youâre trying to make yourself remember where the nearest metro stop is, you hear him utter your name behind you. âwhat did i do? was it something i said?â
letting impulsivity get to you for once, you scoff, muttering a response. âit was everything you said.â
âwhy?â he asks, the tension running thicker. âwhy wonât you just let me in, for once? just this time?â
you hate how desperate he sounds â you hate how much itâs tugging at your heartstrings.
âwhy do you even want me to?â
ââcause i like you.â
âno, you donât. you just like whatever chase this is, just a little fun to keep things interesting for you.â
âhas it ever crossed your mind that maybe i like you for you?â
âiâve given you no reason to like me.â
âwhat, you think that no one out there will like you unless you act differently?â
his words feel like a growing tear in your heart. your self-esteem is so ridiculously low that it makes you believe no one would love you if you were to be unapologetically yourself â and hearing someone say it out loud hurts.
mingyu watches as the emotion flashes through your eyes, one of the few glimpses of what you feel underneath that cold exterior.
âitâs not true,â he says before you attempt to answer, âbecause you⊠being around you makes me happy. when iâm not with you, i think of when iâll see you next. you matter to me.â
youâre not sure whatâs worse â the fact that you reciprocate his feelings or the words that are coming out of your mouth.
âyouâd do best to try and get rid of that feeling.â
but he knows thereâs more lingering behind your words. âtell me you donât feel the same way.â
âwhat i feel means nothing.â you state, voice laced with hurt, though not from his words. âlet it go.â
âwhy donât you wanna try?â
âbecause itâd be a disaster. for both of us.â
âcâmon,â he pleads, gently touching your fingers, âplease donât push me away.â
âgodâi have my reasons, mingyu.â
âthen explain them to me!â
âi canât give you what you want!â you cry out, needing him to understand you. âsomeone like you just doesnât work with someone like me. it might sound stupid, but itâs the truth. i wouldnât tell you i love you, iâm fuckingâbitter and cynical, if not misanthropic, i like my own peace and quiet, i fucking hate talking about what i feel â and you are the complete opposite. iâd make you miserable. youâd grow to hate me.â
âno, i wouldnât.â
âyou would. you... i do like you. i donât know what the hell you did, likeâitâs bizarre how much iâve grown to like you. but at the end of the day, weâd never work, because i cannot give you the love that you deserve. i know you. you want someone spontaneous, easygoing, sociable â those are all traits that i donât have. i wish i did, but thatâs just how iâm engineered. we wouldnât work.â
âhow do you even know that?â
âiâve had two boyfriends before this. both broke things off with me âcause i didn't show love the way they were used to, and even when they called it quits, i didnât show a thing. because i donât do that. no matter how often i say it, no one ever appears to understand what theyâre getting themselves into when they get close to me, so iâm telling you now. this? you and me?â you ask, finger pointing between the two of you. âweâd be idiots to try.â
âfine. then consider me an idiot.â he breathes out, just barely registering how close heâs standing to you. âiâm willing to try. please.â
the crease between your brows is the sign of your inner conflict. âiâm sick of getting hurt. sick of people making me feel like my feelings arenât valid solely because i donât like expressing them.â
âiâm not gonna hurt you. we can take things slow.â
âgyuââ you plead, almost like youâre begging him to stop tearing your walls down despite knowing he wonât.
and perhaps the other part of you does want to let him in. itâs so scary, so tempting.
âi donât wanna lose you.â
he adores you so much â itâs ridiculous. âyou wonât lose me. pleaseâŠâ he touches your fingers so gently, getting closer to you as you barely make an effort to push him away, âplease let me in.â
his heartbeat rises when you look him in the eye â he wonders how the hell a person so strong can look so afraid. but heâs determined to show that you have no reason to be anymore.
itâs raining even harder now. instead of backing you up against the wall, he takes a few steps away from you as if heâs leaving, only for him to turn around and gesture for you to come with him.
mingyuâs smile shines even in the heavy downpour â a bright light that balances out your dull one.
he extends his hand, and you finally get over the edge of your fear, finally able to take control of your own body and slide your hand in his.
you and kim mingyu shouldnât work â perhaps thatâs exactly the reason why you do.
thank you for reading. let me know if you enjoyed it x
Âź SANAKIRAS â do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.
#seventeen x reader#svt oneshot#svt x reader#kim mingyu x reader#mingyu angst#mingyu smut#mingyu x reader#kim mingyu ff#kim mingyu fanfic#seventeen fanfic#seventeen smut#seventeen oneshot#seventeen imagines#mingyu x you#svthub#svt fic#svt fanfic#seventeen imagine#svt angst#svt imagines#kmg: bloom for me
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I was asked to tell more about the holidays in my legacy gameplay, so here is a super long and detailed post on the subject! đ
How I use holidays in my game
I used to hate the holidays, cos I saw them as something my sims had to participate in and there was always so much pressure to complete all the traditions! But then I cracked it...
Holidays are a great way to add objectives to gameplay! When every day is some kind of a holiday with its own theme, there's always something for my sims to do.
I tick the "day off" box only if the holiday is a major one or the traditions would feel too rushed if my sim worked on the same day.
I try to have a lot of outdoor/traveling holidays in the spring and summer, and more home lot based holidays in the autumn and winter.
For some holidays, I add a diverse set of traditions and then choose only one or two to complete every sim year.
Sometimes my sims are just too busy with other things in life to participate at all. The No more "awful holiday" sad moodlet mod (linked below) is super useful because it completely takes the pressure off of completing holiday traditions!
It's very refreshing to use custom icons for the holidays, it matters more than you'd think! I use the More selectable icons mod (linked below) for this feature.
I've taken ideas and inspiration for some of my holidays from countless lists made by other simmers over the years.
Holiday mods
Traditions
Please note that some of these mods feature some of the same traditions - pick and choose so you don't get duplicates! Every custom tradition I use in my game is from these mods.
Icemunmun's traditions
LittleMsSam's traditions
Kiara's traditions
Renegadesims's traditions
Lychee's traditions
Pet traditions
Toddler traditions
Kids traditions
Occult traditions
Crafting traditions
Relaxation traditions
Eco-friendly traditions
Food traditions
Baking traditions
Writing traditions
A Night Out traditions
Cottage Living traditions
More Cottage Living traditions
Island Living traditions
Snowy Escape traditions
More Snowy Escape traditions
Paranormal traditions
University traditions
Realm of Magic, Paranormal & Vampires traditions
Other
More selectable icons
No more "awful holiday" sad moodlet
Holiday traditions in my game
The number next to each tradition shows which mod it's from. If there is no number, it's an EA tradition.
Spring
đ
New Year's Day (day off) A chill day for spending time with your family after New Year's celebrations.
Family dinner Âł
Cleaning
Cook pancakes Âł
Play cards Âł
Tell stories
đ Resolution Day It's time to make those New Year's resolutions reality! At least on this one day of the year...
Fasting
Exercise
Donate Âł
Volunteer Âł
Find penpal Âčâ”
đ« Play Day Play is the work of the child. Child sims should invite their friends over for some play time!
Activity table âž
Make an experience âž
Monkey bars âž
Play pirate âž
Space explorer âž
đ Explorer's Day (day off) Once per season, sims have a day off for exploring the world! Maybe this year you could go on a mini vacation to Granite Falls to experience it in every season? Whatever you decide to do, this is a day for adventure!
Go hiking Âł
Go for a walk â¶
Go on a vacation or travel
Go sailing Âł
Go camping Âł
đ Earth Day You take care of nature and nature takes care of you.
Apply eco upgrades ÂčÂČ
Give gift to wild animal Âčâ·
Island clean up ÂčÂČ
Socialize with wild birds Âčâ·
Go hiking Âł
đ„Ș Picnic Day Pack some tasty snacks and go on a picnic with your friends.
Go picnic Âčâž
Invite guests
Play horseshoes Âł
Collect bugs Âł
Fire
đ Love Day (day off) Take your significant other on a date and show them how much you love them! Or stay in and watch a romantic movie... with a special someone or alone, either way is fine!
Romantic spirit
Go on a date
Out for coffee Âčâ¶
Send love letter Âčâ”
Watch romantic TV
đź Dining Day Today's all about eating as many different meals as you can. Taste something new or stick to old favorites!
Eat cultural dishes Âł
Eat grilled cheese Âł
Eat pizza Âł
Hot pot ÂčÂł
Order food ÂčÂł
𧚠Gnome Day It's gnomes. Just gnomes. We can survive this. It's only once a year. We just have to keep them happy. It should be easy, right?
Holiday gnomes
đ§œ Spring Cleaning Spring gives you a boost of energy. It's time to clean the house and fix anything that needs fixing!
Cleaning
Do laundry Âł
Upgrade animal shelter Âčâ·
Upgrade chicken coop Âčâ·
Water crops Âčâ·
đȘ© Party Night No self-respecting sim stays home on this wild night! It's time to partaaaaaay!
Out for coffee Âčâ¶
Drinks at the bar Âčâ¶
Go bowling Âł
Bubble blower Âł
Party spirit
đ ïž DIY Day It can't be that hard, the tutorial made it look pretty easy... Famous last words.
Build-a-bot Âčâ°
Crafting Âčâ°
Fabrication Âčâ°
Juice fizzing Âčâ°
Woodwork Âčâ°
đ Bunny Day (day off) Children's favorite holiday that's all about bunnies!
Egg hunt
Socialize with rabbit Âčâ·
Baking
Flower Bunny
Give gift to wild animal Âčâ·
đș Festival of Flowers A celebration of the spring turning to summer.
Flower arranging Âčâ°
Give flowers
Visit flower stall Âčâ·
Sunbathe Âł
Gardening
Summer
âïž Start of Summer It's finally summer and you can do all those fun things you dreamed of in the dark of winter!
Streaking
Go fishing Âł
Go swimming Âł
Kiddie pool â·
Play basketball ÂČ
đ¶ Pet Day Show your pet how much you love them on this special day!
Feeling the love â¶
Pamper pets â¶
Play with dog â¶
Play with laser pointer â¶
Teach tricks â¶
đ Explorer's Day (day off) Once per season, sims have a day off for exploring the world! Maybe this year you could go on a mini vacation to Granite Falls to experience it in every season? Whatever you decide to do, this is a day for adventure!
Go hiking Âł
Go for a walk â¶
Go on a vacation or travel
Go sailing Âł
Go camping Âł
𧞠Children's Day Spend time with your children today. Take them to the park or the beach, or play with them at home.
Voidcritters Âč
Build sand sculpture Âł
Games
Puppet show Âł
Space explorer âž
đ Farm Day Visit a farm in Henford-on-Bagley and get to know the cows, chickens and llamas!
Harvest animal produce Âčâ·
Harvest crops Âčâ·
Take care of farm animals Âčâž
Make animal treats Âčâ·
Socialize with villagers Âčâ·
đ Summer Vacation (3 days off) Enjoy summer to the max with 3 days of vacation!
Go on a vacation or travel
Go swimming Âł
Invite guests
Sunbathe Âł
Water fun
đŒ Toddler Day Take your toddler to the park or arrange a toddler play date.
Ball pit â·
Kiddie pool â·
Slide â·
Tiny treehouse â·
Jungle gym â·
đ” Music Day Enjoy music in all its forms. Sing, play, listen.
Dancing ÂČ
Music Âł
Party spirit
Watch live performance Âł
đ» Garden Day Does anything make one happier than a thriving garden? Shower your plants with love (and water) today, make a new garden plan, or sow new seeds.
Sow seeds Âčâ·
Fertilize crops Âčâ·
Gardening
Collect bugs Âł
Plant oversized crop Âčâž
đ©âđ©âđŠ Family Day Sometimes life feels so busy that you barely see even your own family. Make sure to spend some quality time with your loved ones today.
Baking
Family dinner Âł
Games
Puppet show Âł
Water fun
đïž Beach Day (day off) Celebrate summer in Sulani!
Build sand sculpture Âł
Interact with dolphin Âčâč
Go snorkeling Âčâč
Go sailing Âł
Collect seashells â”
đ End of Summer One last chance to enjoy a warm summer evening... Have a barbeque with your family and friends!
Bar-B-que
Sunbathe Âł
Hot tub Âł
Eat ice cream Âł
Juice keg ÂČÂł
Autumn
đ„ Bonfire Night Dark autumn evenings are perfect for a little gathering around a bonfire. Look at the stars, roast some marshmallows, and wrap yourself in a blanket when it starts to get cold.
Fire
Stargaze Âł
Fireworks
Tell stories
Fire dance â”
đ§ Occult Night They're creepy and they're kooky... mysterious and spooky... They're the occults and this is their night!
Alien powers âč
Mermaid powers âč
Use vampire powers âč
Cast spells âč
Use cauldron âč
đČ Game Night Play some games with your family or friends to bring a bit of fun into this dark season.
Games
Go bowling Âł
Play cards Âł
Play darts ÂČ
Play foosball ÂČ
đ Explorer's Day (day off) Once per season, sims have a day off for exploring the world! Maybe this year you could go on a mini vacation to Granite Falls to experience it in every season? Whatever you decide to do, this is a day for adventure!
Go hiking Âł
Go for a walk â¶
Go on a vacation or travel
Go sailing Âł
Go camping Âł
â Life Change Day Do something today that has the potential to change the rest of your life!
Meet or adopt â¶
Go on a date
Write a book Âčâ”
Go on a vacation or travel
Run errands for villagers Âčâ·
đĄ Skill Day Learn something new today! Either work on skills you already know, or try doing something outside of your comfort zone.
Art & music spirit
Woodwork Âčâ°
Juice fizzing Âčâ°
Candle making Âčâ°
Craft wool items Âčâ·
đïž Couch Potato Day After the toil of yesterday, take it easy in good conscience today. It's not a day off, but you could always call in sick... Cough, cough.
Watch a movie Âł
Sports TV
Sauna ÂčÂč
Read a book Âł
Relaxing soak ÂčÂč
đ Autumn Day Enjoy the crisp air, the sunshine on the colorful leaves, and cosy autumn activities!
Fall fun âŽ
Fire
Canning Âčâž
Drink tea Âł
Candle making Âčâ°
đ§đœ Parent's Day If you're in good terms with your parent(s), today's the perfect day to remind them how much you love and appreciate them.
Family dinner Âł
Gift a parent Âł
Hug parent Âł
Remembrance
Tell stories
✠Sports Day Whether you like pumping iron or shooting hoops, do some exercise today.
Exercise
Go rock wall climbing Âč
Play basketball ÂČ
Play soccer Âł
đ Date Night Whether it's your significant other or someone you don't even know yet, ask them on a date tonight!
Go on a date
Woohoo Âł
Romantic spirit
đŻïž Other Side Day The veil is thinning... If you have business with someone in the afterlife, today's the day to get in touch.
Summon Bonehilda âč
Summon a ghost ÂČÂČ
Conduct a seance âč
Commune with the departed ÂČÂČ
Remembrance
đœ Harvestfest (day off) Give thanks for everything the land has given you this year. Treat your garden, treat your animals, treat yourself.
Invite guests
Grand meal
Thankful spirit
Make animal treats Âčâ·
Harvest crops Âčâ·
đ Spooky Day (day off) It's time to get spooky!
Carve pumpkin Âł
Spooky spirit
Trick or treat
Wear costumes
Use cauldron âč
Winter
đ„§ Baking Day Get your baking supplies out, because today's all about the magic of flour and sugar! Have pancakes and coffee for breakfast, and bake all your favorite pastries.
Baking
Cook pancakes Âł
Drink coffee Âł
Decorate cookies ÂčâŽ
Make cupcakes ÂčâŽ
đ Explorer's Day (day off) Once per season, sims have a day off for exploring the world! Maybe this year you could go on a mini vacation to Granite Falls to experience it in every season? Whatever you decide to do, this is a day for adventure!
Go hiking Âł
Go for a walk â¶
Go on a vacation or travel
Go sailing Âł
Go camping Âł
đ Written Word Day Read your favorite book in your favorite armchair, or go the library to find something new to read. Write a letter to someone, or finally start writing that book you always dreamt of.
Find penpal Âčâ”
My private journal Âčâ”
Writing skill Âčâ”
Read a book Âł
Send love letter Âčâ”
đ„ Chaos Day It seems like everyone's lost their social filter today! It's chaos all around! I hate all my friends! OOPS, did I say that out loud...
Air grievances
Fighting
Mischief spirit
Streaking
Magic duel âč
đ Do Good Day Today is all about being good to others. Make the world a better place by helping those around you.
Donate Âł
Make pet food â¶
Run errands for villagers Âčâ·
Volunteer Âł
Vote for policies ÂčÂČ
đ€ BFF Day Invite your best friend over for a nice cup of tea or coffee. Share secrets, cry and laugh, have some fun.
Invite guests
Drink coffee Âł
Drink tea Âł
Play cards Âł
Out for coffee Âčâ¶
đ§ Mindfulness Day Take care of your mind and body.
Meditate ÂčÂč
Sauna ÂčÂč
Massage Âł
My private journal Âčâ”
Do yoga ÂčÂč
đïž Snow Day (day off) Celebrate winter in Mt. Komorebi!
Go rock climbing ÂČâ°
Go skiing ÂČâ°
Go sledding ÂČâ°
Go snowboarding ÂČâ°
Hot springs ÂčÂč
đĄ Homebody Day (day off) Have you ever dreamed of just staying at home when it's dark and cold outside? Well, today you can!
Canning Âčâž
Knitting Âčâ°
Cross-stitching Âčâž
Practice herbalism Âč
Make pet food â¶
đ Winterfest Eve Put up decorations for this wintery holiday, cook a delicious dinner, and then enjoy the evening as you wait for Father Winter's visit.
Attend holiday ceremony
Decorate
Festive spirit
Father Winter
Grand meal
âïž Winterfest Day (day off) It's the most peaceful day of the year. Spend it with your loved ones.
Invite guests
Family dinner Âł
Baking
Go skating Âł
Open presents
đš Creativity Day Get your easel down from the attic, find your old camera in the garage, or pick up the knitting needles that have been collecting dust on the shelf. Let's do some arts and crafts!
Art & music spirit
Activity table âž
Cross-stitching Âčâž
Writing skill Âčâ”
Knitting Âčâ°
âïž Yamachan Day Travel to Mt. Komorebi to meet Yamachan!
Yamachan ÂČÂč
Make a Tanabata wish ÂČÂč
Hot pot ÂčÂł
Order from Mt. Komorebi festival food stalls ÂČÂč
Go hiking Âł
đ„ New Year's Eve It's time to celebrate the year gone by, and welcome the new one that's right around the corner.
Countdown to midnight
Drinking
Eat pizza Âł
Fireworks
Make resolutions
More holiday ideas
If you want to create your own holidays, but struggle with coming up with ideas, here are some things I always consider when I create holidays.
Can you match a world with a season? Summer holidays in Sulani, winter holidays in Mt. Komorebi, etc.
Alternatively, have a summer holiday in Sulani when it's winter elsewhere, a winter holiday in Mt. Komorebi when it's summer elsewhere, etc.
What if you took the default holidays and placed them in a different season? Celebrate Winterfest on the beach in the summer!
Can you match a world with a theme? Nature holidays in Granite Falls, city holidays in San Myshuno, etc.
Think of a simple theme for your holiday (games, sports, food, animals, books, etc.) and choose traditions based on that.
Create a holiday that requires your sim to travel from world to world to complete all the traditions.
Have a 3 day holiday for a vacation trip, with different traditions to complete each day.
Create holidays for specific life stages. What would a teen or an elder sim do for their holiday?
Create a holiday for each occult type. How would a Spellcaster spend their holiday?
Can you think of a way to combine holidays and clubs?
Put two really different holidays right next to each other so you have lots of variety in gameplay.
If you're playing a legacy, create a holiday for each heir sim based on their personality, and have their offspring celebrate these holidays to honor them.
Research real life holidays that are celebrated around the world to find new ideas.
Can't find the traditions that you need in your game? Follow this tutorial by LittleMsSam to create your own traditions!
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! The Terrible Digital Circus AU !
Welcome to The Terrible Digital Circus AU where everything and everyone is edgy! Even when they don't want to be.
(Based off of the Underfell AU, Owned by Me and @pansering)
AU Info:
In this AU, The Amazing (now Terrible) Digital Circus was specifically made for teens and up audiences (TADC if Adult Swim had it), which means there is a lot of violence and swearing!
Along with that, it is more of a show that plays in real time for a plethora viewers, which means there is very much present higher-ups, like The Producers.
Most important part of the show is the adventures themselves, which wined up looking more like game-show activities at times, that are made to be super duper extremely dangerous and deadly! Do not worry, the contestants re-spawn, but the experience of dying over and over has certainly changed them.
Links :
The Terrible Digital Comic Series: [Link]
Character Designs for other circus members: [Link] (TBA)
The Terrible Digital Fan-mail Blog: [Link]
Terrible Digital Poster Design: [Link] How the intro to the show would sound like: [Link]
Frequently Asked:
Q: Can I (ship characters, draw/write your characters, make ocs, ship ocs with your characters, make nsfw of your characters, make fanon designs for your au, anything else you might want to do)?
A: Yes. I do not mind anything. Make anything you want, just don't expect it to be canon. I'm going the Goosworx route, making no ships canon (even my ships) so the au can be enjoyed by everyone!
#the amazing digital circus#tdac#tadc#tadc art#tadc fanart#tadc au#tadc caine#tadc pomni#tadc jax#tadc ragatha#digital circus#tadc gangle#tadc zooble#tadc kinger#tadc bubble#the terrible digital circus au#ttdc au#original au#alternate universe#digital art#fucked up evil version of tadc
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no use cryin' over spilled milk | c.h./the ghoul
â„ pairing | cooper howard/the ghoul x f!reader â„ word count | 2.8 k â„ warning(s) | đ smut; dirty talk, frottage, lactation kink, pregnant!reader, fingerfucking, praise kink, breast play, the ghoul calls reader pretty mama, he's a pervert who wants to lend a 'helping' hand â„ summary | based off this ask; oops being an experiment from vault 4 where you may be the first rad resistant human pregnant with a possibly rad resistant baby, and you come across the ghoul who helps you get to a safe place but then he gets attached with you and the baby đ„ș (this is just me trying to insert a lactation kink somewhere i'm sorry) â„ notes | uhhhh pls let me know if i missed anything, my brain is dribbling out my ears (its 3:44 am and i have work at 8 am rip) but the parasites persist. i'll do the tag list when i wake up â€ïž masterlist | feel free to send in thots, questions, requests! | feedback is always appreciated â€ïž
Going topside wasnât an easy decision.
In fact, bile bitter regret often lingers in the back of your throat - a lump that stifled the air in your lungs.
And while you mightâve been bioengineered to survive better under these harsh wasteland conditions, every time you find yourself in a less than ideal situation, you're catapulted headlong into paralyzing self doubt; alone and rudderless.
No one lives in the vaults - not truly.
Birdie (and the others) warned you of what awaited beyond those lead-lined walls. But you couldnât abide spending the rest of your life trapped in a cage, albeit a gilded one.
Not anymore.
Oh no, you wanted to feel a real breeze instead of air pumped through the HVAC. Experience the sun baking warm into your skin like fresh bread instead of the artificial heat of the UV lamp used for mandatory light therapy sessions. Complain about the chafe of sand in your shoes and hear the crunch of dirt under foot instead of a hollow clunk of sterile metal.
To witness first hand all the sights, sounds, and smells this world offers.Â
Only⊠you didnât expect it to be this hard.
Nor did you expect to be pregnant when setting off into the great unknown on your own (a definite oversight on your part [you really shouldnât have had one last hurrah before hitting the road]).
Through trial and error, motion sicknesses that swing into crippling nausea as manic energy - your first taste of true freedom! - dwindled into dragging fatigue, you found a happy medium. None of which would have been possible had it not been for the most unlikely of companions.
Ghouls; who knew, huh?
Sure, youâd heard of them from the rotating door of visitors that found themselves at Vault 4, but youâd never seen them. While you grew up surrounded by visible mutations, seeing the battlefield of his body was off putting; how a person could survive a patina of burns and patchwork slices without unraveling at the seams was beyond you.
And kind of frightening.
But he took it in stride, introducing himself as Ghoul. Refused to divulge anything else of substance no matter how much you poked and prodded. His life pre-bomb was a complete mystery filled with plot holes and unanswered questions (which is exactly what he preferred).
You learned to be comfortable with his meandering conversations, and all the words he spoke that said much of nothing. And what you did glean, you did so through observation alone.Â
He was alone - had been for a very long time.
He was very old - one of the last of his kind.
And he was, in his own way, very kind - at least by wasteland standards.
âThe fuck you doinâ?â
Pausing, you stop mid push and hover awkwardly on your hands and knees. The vault suit pulls taut across your hips, pinching behind your knees uncomfortably. Your toes squeak in your shoes, socks thoroughly soaked through with sweat.
Itâs been unseasonably hot (or itâs the hormones). Whatever the case, this is the first semi-decent lodging youâve camped in for weeks, and youâre not about to miss an opportunity to freshen up.
And maybe find a way to soothe the building ache in your tits - flesh swollen tender and nipples rubbed raw.
âIâm just, uh, gonna,â you motion towards the back of the house, the askew bathroom door clinging to its hinges by a corner, âyâknow, f-freshen up. See if they donât still have some water.â
The Ghoul scans you up and down, gimlet-eyed. âSâthat so?â
You huff, your knees starting to ache.
Being five months pregnant throws your center of gravity for a loop, the atmosphere weighing extra heavy on your bones. It doesnât help that the babyâs decided sitting directly on your bladder with a foot tucked under your ribs is the best position.
âDidnât know I needed permission to take a piss now,â you snipe. Usually, you try to reign in the hormones but the dayâs been too long and youâre in pain. Anyone would be a little snippy (right?). âCan I do that on my own or do you need to watch, Mr. Ghoul?â
A faint smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth, his gaze glinting from beneath the rim of his hat as he tips his head. âBetter watch it, sweetheart,â he says. âOtherwise, I might haveâta wash your mouth out with soap.â
Pushing yourself up with a grunt, you determinedly ignore the raspy chuckle that follows as you waddle towards the bathroom. Cussing him out all the while in your mind.
While heâs been ânicerâ today - stopping for extra breaks, even packing it in several hours earlier than usual because he noticed how weary you looked - heâs still an asshole.
The toiletâs gone, the tubâs tipped sideways, the linoleumâs cracked, and closing the door sounds like a pack of howling mole rats but its functional. When you catch your reflection in the spider web fractures of the mirror, you grimace.
The wastes have certainly left their mark on you. Gone is the prim-and-proper vault dweller, replaced by a gremlin of a woman Overseer Benjamin would surely scowl at.
A true âsurfieâ now.
âGreat,â you groan, scrubbing a palm over your face. âJust - ugh!â
Youâre caked in grime, a steak of dirt smeared across the bridge of your nose. Mysterious stains darken the blue fabric, the golden stripes of your suit an off-putting grey.
Your hair clumps in greasy chunks. Youâre glossy with sweat, and while your curves have plumped up over the last few months, you didnât realize just how much until now.
The vault suitâs always been tight - now it clings and creases in unflattering places. And thereâs nothing you can do about it, unless the Ghoul is willing to spare a sewing kit.
You could let the waist out someâŠ
What the hell am I gonna do if he wonât? Thereâs no way Iâll fit if this baby gets any bigger. Shit, I look like a fucking sausage. Your hand cradles the side of your stomach, stroking over the bump with a frown. This is all your fault, you little parasite.
âYou better be so fucking cute - the cutest goddamn baby in the wasteland. Or I will riot.â
Tugging down the zipper over your breasts is heaven, the swollen flesh spilling out of the parting fabric, no longer compressed. Itâs almost enough to make you cry as you struggle to tug the lycra off your shoulders, the fabric putting up a fight.
After some awkward contortions that pull uncomfortably at the muscles of your shoulder blades, you manage to wrangle yourself free.
The temptation to burn the stupid goddamn suit is almost too much to resist, but then youâd really be traipsing around the wasteland in the nude and just⊠no.
Peeling off your undershirt is another story altogether, the soft cotton feeling like sandpaper as it scrapes over sensitive skin. Your nerves tingle with awareness, bolts of pain shooting through your nipples with every shift.
Quick like a bandaid, you think, taking a steadying inhale.
Itâs a miracle you donât scream.
Tears cling to your lashes, your nose running as you toss the shirt to the side with one hand and cradle your chest with the other. Sure, youâve had tenderness with your period but this kind of pain? A whole new level.
You almost donât know what to do with yourself.
How is this fair - arenât you suffering enough?
Sniffling, you peer down at your tits and gingerly cup them with your palms. Swollen hard and warm to the touch; a heavy weight crushing your ribs.
Do I really have to milk myself like a fucking brahmin? Another bolt of lightning crackles through your nerve endings as if in response. Fine. God, this is embarrassing.
Only any attempt at touching your nipples produces pure agony, shards of glass biting into delicate skin.
No matter how slight your touch, no matter how gentle your fingers - it doesnât work. Leaves you more distraught and in pain than when you began as inflamed nerve endings crackle and burn.
And when the tears truly start, the dam breaks. Itâs not long before they drip down your cheeks in fat rivulets, your breath hitching from you in pathetic little exhales.
Your fist shoves against your mouth in an attempt to smother the sounds, teeth sinking into your knuckle until you leave sore indents.
But you should know better, not only does the Ghoul have heightened senses (heâs taunted you constantly with this fact like the asshole he is), but heâs uncannily perceptive in a very annoying way.
You donât hear the squeal of the door, but you do sense his presence behind you; the rad warm burn of his body as he stops a scant few inches away. You feel his breath against the nape of your neck, the barest brush of his chest as he inhales.
âYou ready ta stop beinâ stubborn?â he hums. âI thought I told you not ta wait sâlong.â
Your voice warbles from you, âGâway.â You curl into yourself, shoulders hunching as you hang your head. âDonât need your help.â
The Ghoul snorts. âCuz you doinâ so well on your own, huh?â
âI resent that.â You shoot him a weak glare, the animosity ruined by the crumble of your lips. âI really, really do.â
You hate always having to rely on him, so desperate to prove that you can take care of yourself only to have every effort to do so thrown back in your face.
Shit, you hate how right Birdie was, âHoney, you wonât last five minutes on your own. Please stay here with us where itâs safe.â
âWell, maybe so. But pickers canât be choosers, sweetheart,â he shrugs with a languid roll of the shoulders. âAinât no use cryinâ over spilled milk. Câmon, the longer you wait, the worse itâs gon be.â
âI just - you donât understandâŠâ
He reaches around you to set his hat on the sink, the dwindling light of twilight creeping in through the holes in the roof to bathe him in its bloody light.
He looks like a grotesque demon that clawed its way from the depths of hell. It gets your pulse thudding, electric awareness an unwelcome visitor as it roosts behind your navel.
âI understand plenty. Now, let me.â
Not an offer - not really.
More akin to a demand, one wrapped up pretty like a gift. Youâve been here many times before, and while the Ghoul proffers his help under the guise of not wanting to hear your bitching and moaning, the hungry gleam of his eyes as they rake over your face say otherwise.
If itâs one thing youâve learned in your travels with him, itâs this: he is entirely self-serving. He offers because he wants to suck on a set of pretty tits. If you happen to cream your panties while he does, well, he counts it as a win-win.
Quid pro quo.
And what you hate more than how utterly correct everyone is about life on the surface, is how needy he makes you. How desperate and dumb and dripping heâs got you by the end, drunk off the flick of his tongue and the rasp of his touch.
Because itâs so hard to be strong in the face of pain when the solution is right there; open-palmed.
â...Fine, just donât - donât leave marks this time, okay?â
A slow waking smile creaks across his face, and he says, âI ainât makinâ any promises, sweetheart.â
Your stomach swoops, and your thighs clench.
Shit.
Scarred lips work over tender flesh as a talented tongue flicks and swirls over the bumps of your areola, the tip digging into your nipple and drawing the swollen nub into a hot mouth. You whimper, arms tossed over the Ghoulâs broad shoulders.
Cold ceramic digs into the base of your spine, your body crowded back against the sink as he plasters himself to your front. Cuts off any escape routes and refuses to let you squirm away from the overwhelming sensations as he suckles.
Heavy palms grope at the plush curves of your hips, fingertips digging into the fat.
His lips pop off your nipple with a sticky smack. âAlways taste sâfucking good,â he groans against your sternum. âGot the prettiest set a tits in the wasteland.â
âHnn! N-Not so hard.â
While you say that, you donât mean it - not really. Your pussy throbs in time with your heartbeat, clit swollen and aching for friction. Your inner thighs are a mess of slick, your vault suit caught around your knees.
He never touches you below the waist directly (some boundaries still exist between you two), but at this point in your pregnancy, youâre so sensitive a gentle breeze could set you off.
âHeh, ainât you know lyinâs a sin?â he says.
A scarred cheek drags over the swell of your breast, the rasp of rad burn alighting your nerves. Bolts of desire ricochet down your spine, fizzle like Nuka Cola on your tongue. He presses an open mouth kiss to your nipple, his tongue flicking out to massage the tender bud.
At the taste of your skin, his cock twitches where its grinding against your thigh. You feel him through his ragged pinstripe slacks, his shaft a thick line of heat.
Itâs probably the hormones (you refuse to admit its anything else) but just the thought of touching him, of sinking down onto his erection - feeling how fucking good heâd stretch you out and fill you up - makes you dizzy.
You pant, your voice distinctly whiny when you say, âPlease, d-do something. It still hurts.â
His grin reminds you of the mongrels roaming the wastelands. âSh,â he hushes you. âI got you, sweetheart.â
The tips of his fingers brush along the side of your swollen stomach. Your heart flips in your chest, your breath catching as he follows the contours of your body, reaching down to brush over the skin of your mound. This is new, heâs never done this before. Itâs simultaneously as arousing as it is terrifying.
âCan smell how wet you are for me,â he says, tone low and gruff. âYou gonna be a good girl for me, ainât you?â
âI-â
Then his mouth is slurping at your tit, his teeth biting down on your nipple gently as those strong fingers dip between your thighs. Blunt nails scratch through your pubic hair, a calloused pad swirling circles around your slippery clit. Your hips jump, your head rolling back between your shoulders as a loud moan rips itself from your throat.
You arch back so far your belly presses against the Ghoulâs, your tits smothering his face.
You think, half deliriously, itâs a good thing he doesnât have a nose otherwise you mightâve broken it.
âShit, thatâs so - oh, fuck, please, please, please!â
Your legs widen to make room for his hand as yours fly up to grab his biceps, nails biting into the rough leather of his duster.
His tongue flutters across your areola. âCâmon, pretty mama, give it ta me.â
âOh.â Sparks dance behind your eyes, your knees shaking as the Ghoul strokes over your folds, tests your wetness and the give of your cunt as he plays with your entrance. âRight there,â you gasp. âIâm gonnaâŠâ
He grunts, tugging on your nipple with his teeth.
The sharp bite of pain shoots through you, deepens the kindling warmth behind your navel that steadily builds and builds and builds. You feel on the very edge, nerves plucked like the keys of a piano.
So close you can taste it.
Then a tingling starts in the tips of your fingers.
Burns its way up your arms to settle in the weight of your chest, pins and needles pricking across the skin of your tits, lancing through the swollen buds of your nipples.
You tremble, the relief bringing tears to your eyes as tears the heaviness releases in a warm flood, your milk letting down to flow into the Ghoulâs eagerly pulling mouth.
âFuckinâ finally,â he moans, chasing after the taste by nuzzling into your chest. His cock ruts against you. âTook youâre sweet damn time, didnât you, darlinâ?â
Your head spins, hazy thoughts scattering like confetti.
Endorphins simmer through your veins as you float on a cloud of cotton softness. Reality seems worlds away, your vision blurry as you focus on the points of contact between your bodies. The stretch of his fingers plunging into your pussy to stroke over the front wall.
Mouth slack, your hands creep up the Ghoulâs arms to trace over the sides of his neck, watch the dance of your fingers over his skin. âIt feels sâgood,â you slur. âPlease donât stop - wanna cum just like this.â
âHeh, wouldnât dream of it.â
#cooper howard x reader#cooper howard x you#the ghoul x reader#the ghoul x you#cooper howard smut#the ghoul smut#cooper howard#the ghoul#fallout fanfic
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hii !! i really like ur works and writings, can i request for the LAD boys with a reader who has a hard time sleeping? thankuuđđ
oh you mean ME - hopefully these turn out well bc theyre all based off my own experiences :(( i def agree that 1) resting w your eyes closed is better than nothing and 2) i would sleep so much better if i was sitting in rafayels studio as he worked but for now his tender moments shall have to suffice
Xavier unfortunately does not share your struggle at all :(. He very easily falls asleep so his main issue is just staying awake. However, when you tell him that you're struggling to fall asleep he decides to do things that make him extra sleepy for you.
He'll change the temperature of his apartment to be more comfortable for you, dropping it a few degrees so you could cuddle with him easier under the sheets. He also has lots of comfortable clothes for you to wear when you sleep, holding you close to him as he softly speaks to you.
The conversation doesn't really mean anything - it's more just like white noise that you can tune out to to try and focus on something that's not your inability to sleep. He's there with you every step of the way, doing his best to wait until you fall asleep to go to bed himself.
Zayne reminds you that even if you can't sleep simply just resting with your eyes closed is much better than nothing. He'll make sure your sleep hygiene is also top notch, reminding you to stay away from your bed and that you're doing work or mindless scrolling away from your bedroom.
He'll also encourage you to keep busy during the day - the more you move the more tired you'll get, hopefully. He isn't going to make your day center around going to bed but he is going to do his best to help you.
When night comes he'll be there however you want him. He'll hold you close or talk at you until you finally manage to sleep, whatever it is. He's not going to want you to go right to medication but he might grab some things over the counter and help you find your best fit if that's something that you need.
Rafayel is ASMR extraordinaire. When you tell him that you can't sleep he isn't really sure what to do other than make bedtime as appealing to you as he physically can.
One night when you can't sleep you decide to hunt him down, knowing that he was going through another bout of no sleep thanks to his artwork. You stumble into his studio drowsily, wiping your eyes. He's immediately at your side, the soft music playing paired with his gentle touch as he leads you to a seat he bought specifically for you to be able to watch him as he works.
You watch him for a bit but the quiet music with his brushes against the canvas knocks you the fuck out, falling asleep shortly thereafter. He won't notice for a few hours, just thinking you were watching him paint but once he's figured out you've fully fallen asleep he'll put you back in bed. You've accidentally conditioned yourself to fall asleep at the sound of painting though which is both good and bad.
#love and deepspace x reader#lnds x reader#lads x reader#l&ds x reader#rafayel x reader#lads rafayel x reader#l&ds rafayel x reader#lnds rafayel x reader#zayne x reader#lnds zayne x reader#lads zayne x reader#l&ds zayne x reader#lnds xavier x reader#lads xavier x reader#l&ds xavier x reader#xavier x reader
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Dunk and Joong could have offered me anything in 2024, and I would have taken it, gladly, no questions because my ass is a Jaidee fan first and a human second. But to hand me The Heart Killers? Oh! Let me list all the reasons y'all gonna hate me when this comes out.
Joong plays Khao's older brother
Khaotung is older than Joong, but in BL Land that doesn't matter because Khao is playing the hopeless romantic little brother while Joong is playing his stern older brother. Someone already wrote it was 10 Things I Hate About You/The Taming of the Shrew, and Shakespeare would be thrilled to know one of his masterpieces is getting the queer treatment and it's not Twelfth Night.
Dunk is playing the crazy seducer
Boy wants a car and is willing to go to great lengths to do it, including distracting some dude, so his buddy can play house with that dude's little brother. But the whole point is they had to find a guy who was crazy enough to accept the offer in the first place >insert Dunk's character< so the guy isn't just wanting the car. He is doing this for the thrill of getting tied up, stripped down, and threatened.
And I respect that.
Jojo is apparently directing
I wanna have beef with Jojo after Only Friends, then I look at his resume and remember this is the man who gave me puppy play in The Warp Effect, poly in 3 Will Be Free, and a chaotic stripper named Judo in Dirty Laundry PLUS the YinWar trailer for their Partner in Crime concert which has now lead to YinWar doing Jack & Joker, so as a vegetarian, I'm gonna be like Elsa and let that go.
Which means Rath is probably the cinematographer
I don't give men compliments easily, so when I state that Cinematographer Rath has never disappointed me, I mean it. The man knows what he is doing, and if he is in on this series, I know if anything, it will be visually stunning.
First and Khao being the Beyonce of GMMTV
I'm in Jaidee's corner always, but I have eyes and First and Khao could really do whatever they want and I'd eat it up. I have believed them with whomever they have been partnered with in the past, and if they want to play high schoolers in an oppressed school system or a banker willing to see his ex and his ex's new man just to flirt with the boy from the market, I'm buying the tickets, I'm sitting in the front row, and I'm holding up homemade posters. Basically, I'm shutting the fuck up and experiencing whatever they want me to experience.
First and Khao tears
This is its own category because when they cry, they are in a league of their own. They claimed this series was going to be lighter than their previous work, but what is a First or Khao series without tears? I hope they are drinking water right now because someone is crying in this series, and JD's faces are already wet for other reasons.
DUNK'S BODY!
Not to objectify the man's body, but . . . it's a banger, and he has been done dirty by wardrobe for two solid years. His face card never declines. His arms are solid. His waist is snatched. His hair is perfect. Even Tay, New, and Jan were talking about him in the BTS for Peaceful Property because they were saying how New's character was based off of Dunk - pretty, fashionable, and COCKY! But wouldn't we all be that cocky if we were walking around looking like this?! Like shut up fives. A ten is speaking!
It's high time that man got to stunt like Force always does just taking off his shirt for no reason. Good for him. And good for us.
Oh, yeah, and the plot
Sorry, I mean the plot.
SHIT, THE PLOT!
You know what? Nah. I honestly do not give a fuck about the plot. Joong and Khao are hired killers. First is out to get them. Dunk gets involved (although, I think he knows a lot more than he leads on), and . . .
All will end well.
Because if anything, Jojo ain't never been allergic to a happy ending *wink*
So just know this show hit its target audience
ME!
ÂĄSalud!
#the heart killers#gmmtv 2024#joongdunk#firstkhao#this was meant for me!#rath and jojo save me!#give me chaos and visuals#I'll take whatever you give me#I'm still gotta talk smack about everything else#but I'll be quieter about it
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SUCK ~ & ~ F*CK đđŸ
â© Featuring Toge Inumaki & Yuuta Okkotsu â©
18+MDNI
Pairingâ©àżFem!Reader X Toge Inumaki & Yuuta Okkotsu
WARNINGSâ©àżFem!Reader giving oral, unprotected vaginal sex, cream pie, sex in front of others, language, rough sex, group sex, double penetration in pussy
Word countâ©àż2.1k
Summaryâ©àżThis is based on my original post: SUCK ~ GUESS ~ F*CK. But you know ahead of time whose dick is in your slutty mouth. Inumaki drew 2 of DiamondsâŠïž and Yuuta drew 2 of Heartsâ„ïž
A/Nâ©àżFem!Reader X Toge & Yuuta will always be my favorite grouping. Both of these men have a special spot in my heart đ I felt inspired to have them share the readers kitty cat due to (my own similar experience). đ€Ș Feedback is highly appreciated, I love reading your comments! đđ
âThe game is quite simple.â Gojo stated in a matter-of-fact tone, âYouâre going to be blindfolded and will have to guess which man's dick is in your mouth. If you guess incorrectly, the man gets to choose which position to fuck you in. If you guess correctly, then you get to choose the position. To keep things interesting, youâll suck dick for three minutes and get fucked for seven.â
You nodded your understanding as you sat on the large and cushy futon in Gojoâs apartment. He had planned on fucking you alone tonight, but your boyfriends wanted in on the action, plus they thought it would be a good idea to invite two of their friends, Mechamaru and Noritoshi.
You felt your cheeks warm up with excitement, never in your life, youâve felt so deeply desired before. Everyoneâs eyes were on you, especially because you wore a revealing teddy one-piece. Satoru bought it for you, and it complimented your figure perfectly. He even put a stunning custom collar on you, with a diamond-covered âSâ on it.
You couldnât help but feel a little embarrassed to be this exposed in front of Noritoshi and Mechamaru. You were familiar with both of these men, but you were still getting used to human Mechamaru. Muta was on the leaner side compared to your boyfriends, he had sharp features and a large and noticeable scar on his upper cheek. While Kamo on the other hand always seemed like a strong and serious leader among his comrades. The thought that he yearned for you just as much as your boyfriends made you wonder what he would be like when he fucked you. The thought made you anticipate his turn.
While you thought about those two men, your eyes were subconsciously drawn to both of them. Noritoshi sat on the far side of the sectional, his heated gaze stared you down hungrily. Beside him sat your boyfriend Megumi with a starved look in his midnight blue eyes. Next sat Itadori, he eyed you with such desperation, that it looked as if he was going to jump off the couch any second to get to you. Next to him sat Satoru smugly, his eyes gleamed playfully in your direction. Beside him was Muta, he eyed shyly with a faint blush on his face. To his left sat Yuuta and Inumaki, Toge was leaning into the couch comfortably, his violet-colored eyes sparkling over your stunning body with admiration and Yuuta had a similar look of awe on his face.
âOk Y/n, Iâm going to put this on you if youâre ready,â Satoru murmured, his gorgeous blue eyes gleaming down at you, while he wrapped his black blindfold around your eyes.
You were shocked at how you couldnât even see small streams of light through it. You had always assumed that it was sheer fabric and that Gojo could slightly see through it, but you were mistaken. Satoruâs amazing Six Eyes technique is one to behold, he certainly is the strongest jujitsu sorcerer.
âOK, now that her eyes are covered, Iâm going to hand each of you a playing card. Whoever draws the highest card gets to go first.â Satoru explained nonchalantly, as the sound of him shuffling the cards expertly made itself known in your ears.
After a short moment of listening to each man shift on the couch to get their card, Gojo spoke. âNow letâs reveal our cards.â You heard a few small sighs of excitement from some of the men, and you also heard some hisses of displeasure, assuming that they would have to wait a while until their turn.
You then felt something hot press against your left cheek, and as you turned to try and put it in your mouth you felt another dick poke your right cheek. Surprise caught you off guard, both? At the same time? Maybe they drew the same number card. That was all you could logically conclude in your hazy brain.
You decided to alternate sucking both of your boyfriends' dicks, first the one on the left. You kissed his entire length lovingly while you softly pumped the other cock in your right hand. Your wet mouth enveloped the rod on your left briefly. You held him in your throat for a bit, knowing that it would feel pleasurable. You quickly switched hands and gave the same type of treatment to the dick on the right. You trailed featherlight kisses up and down his dick. Then you beckoned him down your throat, knowing that heâll enjoy the wet squeeze. Once both cocks were saturated with your saliva, you jerked them off simultaneously. As you pumped them, you brought their tips to your lips. You were able to taste their salty precum drip onto your tongue.
The other men in the room couldnât help but get even more fired up at what was going on right before their eyes. Yuuta and Inumaki exchanged heated glances with each other while your hot mouth worshiped them at the same time. Yuuta was on the left and Toge on the right, each man had a fist full of your hair gripped tightly.
You dragged your tongue across them both in the most sensational way, earning a muted moan to come from the back of Togeâs throat. Despite being fucked out, you were excited to enjoy Inumaki and Yuuta at the same time. You forced the dick on your left to go down your throat once more, and as you did a small sigh escaped his lips. You then switched to the cock on your right, guiding him down your throat with your tongue. You felt him pull your hair tautly, earning a gurgled moan of excitement to come from the back of your throat.
Just then, the timer went off and it was time to guess. Due to the process of elimination, âYuuta and Inumaki.â You said confidently while lowering your blindfold. Your hazy eyes were greeted by both of your boyfriends standing over you with their sprung and slick dicks in your face. They eyed you longingly and were ready for action.
âSo how do you want to take us?â Yuuta asked with a lustful look in his dark eyes.
âI wanna enjoy you in me at the same time.â You sighed, leaning back on the futon seductively. âYuuta, sit down on the couch.â You instructed, with a perverted idea in your head.
Your black-haired boyfriend did what he was told and sat beside Muta. âThen Inumaki, get on top and face him. Then Iâll sit on you both.â You smiled with a playful glint in your eye.
Toge obeyed your command and settled himself on Yuutaâs lap. You made your way over to them and spun around so you could face your sweet Inumaki. Your dripping pussy hovered over Togeâs dick, but Yuuta had the head of his cock at your ass. You wanted them both in your cunt, so you snuck your hand down and guided his rod up to Inumakiâs so that they were touching. Both men shuddered at the taboo feeling, you couldnât help but adore the flustered look on Togeâs face. His violet-colored eyes looked at you with deep desire.
You were too caught up in the moment and slipped down onto both dicks entirely. Having both cocks up your pussy felt incredibly hot, you felt a slight sting to being stretched out, but you pushed it aside and focused on having a good time with your boyfriends instead.
âMmm, youâre too tight.â Whimpered Yuuta from behind you, you felt him lean forward and kiss your shoulders and caress your waist lovingly. You held onto Inumaki for stability while you slowly moved your hips for more friction.
Both men groaned out in pleasure while you ground yourself on them, this caused their dickâs to rub against each other in such an amazing way. Your pussy was incredibly damp due to your arousal mixed with the other menâs cum. Unfortunately, your body was spent, and your thighs burned from Sukuna railing you on your feet earlier. Most of the energy you had was spent on the other men.
You brought your lips to Inumakiâs and kissed him feverishly, âMy legs are tired, can you and Yuuta take control?â You asked sweetly.
âShake,â Toge said affirmatively, he then secured his hands around your waist while Yuuta did the same. Both men lifted you together and then dropped you back down onto their cocks. Feeling them slide back into you sent shivers of delight to run down all of your spines.
âOh, yes!â You moaned out in adoration, you accidentally cast your gaze past Toge and to Megumi who sat diagonal from you guys. Fushiguro eyed you with acceptance while he and Kamo chatted nonchalantly. You glanced over at Noritoshi, who had a more hungry look on his face. Yuji stared your way with a captivated look in his eyes. While Satoru, leaned back on the couch comfortably, keeping his brilliant blue eyes on you. You amazed him at how skilled you were at taking their dicks. Muta who sat beside Yuuta, had a flushed look on his face, especially because of how close he was to the action. He felt a small sting of jealousy and wanted to be one of the guys inside of you.
You felt Yuuta sneak his hands up your torso and grab ahold of your soft and bouncy breasts. He always loved feeling your boobs. Whenever the two of you would cuddle heâd find a way to hold them sweetly. Both men continued to pump into you simultaneously, each thrust more powerful than the last. You found yourself lost in Inumakiâs captivating gaze, he drew you in almost hypnotically.
âMmh, both of you feel⊠so⊠good.â You whined out between their synced thrusts.
Inumaki felt that he wouldnât be able to last much longer. The combination of your slick and tight heat alongside the friction against Yuutaâs dick inside you, was more than heavenly. He pulled you closer and crashed his lips against yours passionately. Toge brought one of his hands up to your hair and gently tugged your luscious locks to deepen the kiss.
Yuuta was in love with how amazing you felt; so saturated and tight, he could stay here forever if you let him. The unique sensation of his lengthy rod rubbing against his friend Inumakiâs was just as pleasurable. He felt honored that he was able to share you so intimately with his best friend. Each time Yuuta shoved his dick into you while Inumaki did, he could tell that he was going to bust soon.
âInumaki, I donât think- ahh I can last any longer.â Yuuta groaned out anxiously, sure enough, their timer would be up soon.
âShake-â Toge shuddered, his eyebrows narrowed in concentration as he continuously shoved himself inside you.
Yuuta and Toge began to plow you down onto their hot dicks with incredible force. Your pussy couldnât take any more of it, and you werenât sure if you were able to cum again. All you could do was whine and babble uncontrollably while they shared you.
âSo⊠mmh. Keep going! AhhâŠâ you sputtered out, lost in pure ecstasy.
Suddenly, the timer went off, but it fell silent to you three. âCum.â Inumaki stated while he and Yuuta pushed themselves balls deep in you.
Your forced orgasm hit you hard and your pussy pulsated around both rods inside you. You felt your release drench their dicks in the most appetizing way. Yuuta and Toge released themselves in vigorous squirts, each man held you close to them as they rode out their waves of pleasure. Their cum mixed as one, as they shot their streams of milky liquid into you.
They held you for a brief moment, letting you catch your breath as they did the same. You felt like a limp rag doll and exhaustion quickly overwhelmed you. You tried to maneuver yourself off of your boyfriends, but it felt as if your legs were jello.
Satoru picked up on that and swiftly pulled you up and off of them. Once he did a waterfall of everyoneâs cum fell down your thighs, it felt hot and sticky. There was such an abundant amount of release in you that when Gojo carried you down, you heard a few splats fall onto his marble floor. He set you on his lap and draped your tired legs off onto Yuji.
Inumaki removed himself from Yuutaâs lap and began to wipe himself off with Gojoâs blue complimentary towel.
âYouâve got me captivated more than you can imagine,â Satoru murmured against your forehead.
You smiled hazily, but you were too tired to respond. You rested your head on his muscular chest and breathed in his comforting scent. The room around you began to fade away and the quiet conversations amongst the other males felt distant. Sleep quickly grabbed a hold of you and your dreams were peaceful.
Little did you know, the following month youâd miss your period.
#jjk smut#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk x fem!reader#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jjk x y/n#inumaki toge smut#inumaki toge x you#toge smut#inumaki toge x reader#toge x reader#toge inumaki x you#toge inumaki smut#toge inumaki x reader#toge x y/n#toge x you#yuuta okkotsu x you#yuuta okkotsu smut#yuuta smut#yuuta x reader#okkotsu x reader#yuuta x y/n#yuuta x you#jujitsu kaisen smut#jujitsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#smut fic#yuuta x toge#toge x yuuta
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The song âBeautiful Little Foolâ for Fiercestripe? Because I am not getting over her death. Listened to it and she was the first character to pop into my head.
Youâre so right!
YES! Please do, I would love to see it!
The boring answer is that I've been drawing cats for a VERY long time. I think since I was 8 they have been the majority of what I drew. The less boring answer is you know the movie Spirit? It changed my life. It had a bonus video where one of the artists taught you how to draw Spirit himself and it was the singular thing that inspired me to start drawing (more likely possessed me). I think I must have been about two the first time I saw it because I cannot remember a time before I had that video memorized. I would spend hours sitting in front of that video (which was only like 10-15 minutes long) with a stack of papers just fully focused on perfectly following his instructions. I still think about that video to this day. Every time I draw legs the voice of James Baxter echoes through my mind. I don't know if that translates to why my cats are so beefy, I own a cat who is quite chonky, so that might contruibute to it, but now you have a fun fact about me regardless!
All of the heirs are chosen based on birth order! Whoever is born first gets to be heir. I personally find that making strict rules about stuff makes playing the game a lot easier for me, I find it stressful to try to pick a "good heir" when I don't know what's going to happen later in the game so to limit that I just let it be completely out of my hands. 2. The game rolled for Songpaw to become a medicine cat! I would have changed it if he was an only kit or probably if I had known that Dashpaw was gonna die, cause I was really stressed about losing my run at that point, but I do my best to write a story that makes the game make sense rather than change what the game gives me when possible. I think it helps me to not have much of a story in mind while I play, just noting down events and thoughts and then going back and piecing it all together afterwards. That way nothing can "go wrong". 3. "Heir-hood" only applies to the leaders. There is no expectation that Cavepaw will become a healer. When Weed dies that position will be open until someone wishes to volunteer for it. 4. Honestly I don't really know. This might spoil a little bit, of tension, but I truly never had that happen. I was SUPER worried about it and did a lot to make sure it wouldn't, but after a couple of generations you get to a point where almost everyone is descended from a leader at somepoint. (And also everyone is second cousins with each other but you know what there are some problems that you just have to live with.) I image the clan would look for an omen and just pick a new leader based off of that and start the process all over again. In my experience worst comes to worst just make sure you have a very accurate family tree and trace it back a couple of generations.
Thank you so much! I don't play with any mods for Loudclan, I'm too scared to lose saves to less than stable code. My favorite mod currently is Kori's Awoogen though! I just like to look at the beautiful art mostly. I use mass extinction as population control, so I turn it on and off based on how many cats I have. Two full pages is the upper limit of what I'm willing to deal with, so once a third page opens I turn mass extinction on and after an extinction happens I turn it back off. (also if I dip below 1 full page I turn unknown parents on until I'm back to two pages again). I've found after a couple of generations you can mostly stop worrying about it because the bloodlines have spread so far there's always someone who's a 6th great great cousin or something.
The game generated him Dashpelt! I probably would have picked Dashfoot to stick with the generated them of a boring suffix but to make more sense overall.
#loudclan#loudclanasks#cw blood#minor blood waring#hey folks#the sketching process for moon 29 part three was an ABSOLUTE nightmare the details of which are staying between me and two weeks of ditched#panels but im happy to say that the sketch is finished 8 out of 30 panels are done and I'm very happy to introduce you guys to#the faint beginnings of my favorite ship!#also whatever Wildfirecry is doing#he's certainly doing... something!#clangen
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