#she needs a big change ok
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cxlandine · 11 months ago
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extra courseload is too much for me but killing a god and reviving some ancient force of rage??
im a sick puppy and this excites me.
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oaksapling · 2 months ago
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Somaia 'Maia' Fisher
Monte's twin sister, older by 6 minutes. She's the baby girl out of 7 (4 girls, 3 boys). Currently majoring in Music Education at the same university Monte and his best friend, Brooklyn, go to. Monte's given her strict instructions not to encourage Brooklyn's flirting because he knows how Brooklyn is. HOWEVER, Brooklyn just so happens to be looking for a lead vocalist for his band and Lamont never said she couldn’t do that.
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fluffytheocelot · 27 days ago
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honestly homophobic of netflix to remove the interactive with the julethief canon events in it
AND ON THE DAY CARMEN ESCAPES VILE NO LESS 😒
rip To Steal or Not To Steal. you had the entire fandom in a chokehold over that ending <3
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#Netflix. Netflix when I catch you. WHEN I CATCH YOU NETFLIX.#Julia blushing is canon in our hearts <33#so many good interactions :(#had to play it one last time on the proper platform and noticed so. many. little. characterization bits.#like mine bomb choking and Carmen DOESNT HESITATE to help. also Carmen knowing the heimlich.#VILE teaching life saving techniques??? hmm suspicious (yeah first aid in the field they don’t want ops to die lmao)#ALSO CARMENS IMAGINATION?? like girly was in the middle of a mission pretending she was showing off sick dance moves to a pretty girl.#what a dork I love her. she cannot focus <3 it’s ok Carmen we all imagine showing off to a crowd of people and them joining in.#bellum not being able to stick to a name for the wiper/mind melt/cranial dranial#also carmen quoting Casablanca??! oh my god?? the layers??!#URHG WE NEEDED FILLER EPS. where’s my team red movie night. beach day. arcade trip. julethief coffee/museum/aquarium dates.#NETFLIX LET ME IN THAT WRITERS ROOM.#alright streaming services. the only reason we got u in the first place was because it was *slightly* more convenient than piracy.#excuse my Texas™️ here but ​the streaming platforms are getting a little too big for their britches nowadays.#could we at least consolidate into 1-2. this is getting ridiculous.#also 482 unskippable ads every 5 seconds. they’ve made regular cable but 200x worse#but that’s a topic for another day#anyways. goodbye To Steal or Not to Steal. you changed my brain chemistry at age 15 🫡#carmen sandiego 2019#carmensandiego#tsonts#fluffytheocelot#julethief#to steal or not to steal
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fumifooms · 8 months ago
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You're always so on point with your posts. On that note, it made me realize that; Considering the themes of desires in DunMeshi. It's also to say that what you think you want isn't what you actually want.
Like, Marcille thinks she wants the handsome prince from the novels she reads... But what she actually wants is someone maybe more like her father who she admired so much. Kind, virtuous, caring to a fault, a family man. Things she later finds in Chilchuck.
Because as traumatizing as it was to see her mother's spiral after her father's death; Her memories of her father itself are some of the most important to her. And it fits with her pursuit to increase her loved ones' lives, because she does want what her mother and father had.
Sipping. I do go over ‘what you think you want vs what you actually want + what you need’ in my (upcoming) Marcille & Chil arc analysis ;) It’s a part of Dunmeshi that I really like and is super fascinating, I’d honestly like to make an analysis-post on the topic: all the different threads and characters in canon that reflect that, desires vs wants and themes of idealization in Dunmeshi, but it’s one of those things that’s just so huge to make. See this is the freaking problem with doing Dunmeshi meta you start talking about the themes or a narrative and everything is so interwoven you get distracted with tangents BUT IT’S ALL COMPELLING AND RELEVANT
I know that’s something laimar does a lot too, the dad thing, with Marcille in a post-canon comic knitting beside him paralleling her parents and whatnot. I don’t know if I fully agree on the angle but there’s definitely stuff to dig at there…
Like I know that I’d like to analyze Marcille’s succubus more, it comes up in my analysis draft but it’s not the point I’m trying to make there so I focus on other stuff but… I always saw the focus of Marcille’s succubus as that she sought out an emotional connection most of all, it’s romantic and courtly in nature but more importantly there’s personality and behavior there and it’s a character she already loves and knows deeply from having read the series, so it’s not like Chil where it’s just a pretty face whose identity doesn’t matter. A friend of mine though, @room-surprise, goes with the angle that it shows she isn’t ready for a relationship and that the appeal is very self-centered, and I def think compelling points are made…
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Point I was trying to make, the succubus is definitely at the crux of figuring what it is Marcille wants and craves in someone I’d say, where she’s emotionally at wether consciously or subconsciously, or how she sees herself being involved in romance at least… It’s true Marcille is enthusiastic about romance, but always someone else’s, never hers, and she seems unwilling to examine her own relationships with people. She oversteps boundaries either obliviously or carelessly and doesn’t like change…
And then there’s how complex people’s relationship to fiction can be on top of that and graaaaah
Edit in bc I forgot I wanted to mention this like an idiot: OH and I do think the Daltian Clan serves a role in the general tapestry of Dunmeshi as well, sometimes in in depth ways that Room-Surprise will tackle in their research paper way better than me I’m sure. My understanding of the importance of general Hagreus in a more general narrative sense is that he reinforces the theme of idealization/fantasy vs reality that’s super present through the manga. Beyond just Marcille’s arc and his importance to her he’s designed uncannily close to Mithrun, it parallels real elves and their very flawed military system and the broken people it cultivates vs the romanticized elves put on an aesthetic pedestral in novels, especially considering it’s "general" Hareus
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To give some previews of the analysis wip: Thus the succubus targets Marcille’s wish for a perfect knight who could cherish her forevermore, someone safe and known and fantastical, just hers in a way, free to see and construct however she wants because he’s a character to interpret Dungeon Meshi is in part about resisting desires, the irrational cravings, mostly through the character of the demon. I mentioned needs earlier, and to ideals vs wants we also add vs needs, both emotional and physical. And needs alongside wants are what Dungeon Meshi wishes to promote for a healthier person. Dungeon Meshi illustrates very well with the dungeon lords that you can be a slave to your desires. Dunmeshi prones the important of balance for both a healthy body and a healthy mind, and the arc of optimism vs pessimism with Marcille & Chilchuck is one such case <3
Ouuuugh how flawed relationships with flawed people can still be made into somehing good and healthy that make the world brighter…
We’ve gone far from the topic of how her family shaped what she seeks in relationships haha, I think you put it well already though I don’t have much to add on that front Edit in 2: SIKE! I’ll add that there’s an interesting thread in the manga of Marcille maturing and becoming more like her mother, which would be interesting and fun to pair with the fatherhood of Chil. Because Marcille is sometimes a mother figure as well: she’s the mom friend. I go over it here, and since when I made that post I’ve seen more interesting analysis on the topic too, like noticing she hides behind her mother’s portrait in the nightmare chapter, perhaps the inspiration behind her more mature reserved academic persona she sometimes has. Her parents are def important to her so it’s interesting to see how all the dynamics and her own psychology fit into that….
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But yeah I think what she (thinks she) wants out of romance has a lot of layers, both conscious and subconscious… I haven’t gone into the bigger picture of how fiction affects her relationships here but it’s the central topic of my Marcille & Chil arc analysis so. She idealizes the trope of the prince charming and finds it attractive but is that what she would actually latch onto… Is it fully superficial, is it more about herself than it is about her potential partner... Is it mainly because she wants to get validation, from being special that she typically gets from high academic performance… We do see she can be rather insecure and worried about others’ perspective of her, that they think she’s not useful or capable enough, especially in the mandrake chapter… Unconditional love perhaps
What is your emotional landscape Marcille. How emotionally intelligent are you. I don’t think she knows what she wants romantically. I think she has a job so she don’t really care about that rn I’m just not sure if we can figure out what she ~actually~ wants on her behalf that might be too many levels of interpretation but idk idk, thinking on it still
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savefrog · 7 months ago
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ok look ive only mostly had a passive interest in the series and only saw some of the older versions as a teen and idk it's relative popularity in anime circles cause i never hear anyone talk about Ge Ge Ge no Kitarou BUT WAS ANYONE ELSE GOING TO TELL ME THAT THEY MADE KITAROU'S DAD
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(Pictured here as a goofy ass lil butt naked eyeball man)
INTO A GODDAMN TUMBLR SEXYMAN???????????
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WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE
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waywardsalt · 6 months ago
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bc its been bouncing around in my head i think another little tiny grievance i had with totk is that i got to the end and just felt a sense of ‘well what the hell was that all for then’
#salty talks#like. ok. look at me. do you ever think abt how link loses an arm but absolutely nothing comes of it#it was basically just an excuse to give him powers and there was nothing actually done with yknow#him losing an arm. or how the light dragon thing didnt really have any long lasting consequences#and generally like. i had to think for a moment to remember why the hell she did that#what was her purpose in the past again???? what did she accomplish actually??? oh right the fucking sword#its like. i get to the end and like nothing has changed it all resets to zero it barely even feels lile a change#woth the other races pledging loyalty like the past (gags) bc barely anything abt hyrule changed between those two times#mineru leaves. she was a lot of wasted potential. nothing CHANGED it all just reset back to the status quo#no one learned anything i feel nothing new or interesting just oh hyrule is good :) it all feels so hollow#like you go on this big adventure and then at the end you dust yourself off and go back to doing basically#exactly what you were doing before that all happened like nothing happened. thats how it felt. what was the point#yeah sure new zonai stuff but that never sinks in its not important to the main narrative so it feels like nothing#it just. felt like there was no real point to the adventure except to affirm that yeah the past was perfect keep doing that#while none of the characters actions really have any lasting weight to them and they barely feel involved#i need to stop i can feel myself wanting to keep going lol. link losing his arm but the game not at all engaging with it is frustrating#totk salt#like to me it’s an issue bc its a long game with a lot to do but when you reach the end it just rings so fucking hollow#the main story/narrative equivalent to all those fucking collection items where the prize is a useless fucking token
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mer-se · 1 month ago
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please pick friends u can argue or have misunderstandings with and actually communicate with immediately after like, it’s so fucking important
#like if anything I’ve learned the last couple years is fucking communicate#like actually#my family isn't really big on it and that's probably part of the reason I started writing so young#tried to break that with my niece and was mostly successful we fight but can actually discuss and work things out and talk#I always have encouraged her to express her damn feelings because my stereotypical scorpio sister is in there too so I had to drag it out#and I can be the same it’s hard for me but I try harder now than before#I’m always honest with myself but expression is hard I get it#like we fought the other day and when she came home l expected her to just go in her room#and she just stood there and looked at me like well??? like that one meme haha#and we talked instead#gotta break those generational curses man#but yeah holding people accountable and calling them out is needed sometimes and also apologizing and talking it the fuck out#even if it sucks….do it#set boundaries and u allow what u allow#I’m at the point of my life I just won’t tolerate certain things and that’s valid but also without communication#you’re not moving either way with clarity and clarity is everything#it’s ok to move on from any kind of relationship but were u honest first? was there clarity#and if nothing changes or you can’t find peace you can move on and compartmentalize that loss better because u tried first#I get some reasons don’t warrant any of that but overall#but yeah I do word things like a straight up bitch sometimes and yes u should tell me hahah#can piss eachother off and misunderstand eachother#but there’s paragraphs coming and that’s the important bit#I’m still learning but better than I was
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byanyan · 11 months ago
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need y'all to know that it's now canon that byan ends up buying a gigantic life-sized hello kitty plush when they move in with sol.
without sol's permission, agreement, or knowledge, of course.
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volfoss · 6 months ago
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my beautiful personal experience with anne rice that im always like haha ok new book ^-^ the last one kind of sucked a decent amount for most of the book but the ending was cool. cant wait to start the next one, sure hope its not anything bad!! and then shes like sneaking behind me with a comically large sledgehammer on my head that is labelled "the beginning will suck heavily". and it keeps happening to me.
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sherlock-is-ace · 8 months ago
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#welcome to another installment of: angel spits out all his thoughts about autism cause if he keeps them inside his head will explode#in today's episode: is it possible that my ''panic attacks'' have been autistic meltdowns all this time?#then answer is maybe!#ok so i was watching this youtube video from channel I'm autisticn now what? (check it out it's great!)#and meg was talking about the different types of autistic meltdowns and how they might manifest#and then in the comments people were discussing autistic meltdowns vs panic attacks and how cofused they used to be about them#and that got me thinking... there's a big thing that needs to happen during a panic attack for it to be a panic attack#and that is anxious thoughts... many people talk about fear of death during panic attacks#and that was never my experience. I don't feel like I'm going to die when I have these ''attacks''#they feel painful and like i'm completely out of control but my head is quite clear in that regard#i always thought it was because i don't think dying is like The Worst thing that could happen to me so maybe that was why#and it never ocurred to me that it could be an autistic meltdown because i always saw those as ''little boy hits his head against the wall'#(horrible i know) but it's more than that! (plus i sadly started self harming when the ''attack'' is too bad so not i fit that idea lol)#it's the uncontrollable crying. the throwing anything you have at hand across the room. the not being able to utter words#(other than ''no'' in my case) it's the complete lack of control#and that fits so much more to what i experience! i even related to meg's personal anecdote about a meltdown she had as a child#being separated from my mom made me go into full panic modes as a kid and that was seen as a tantrum but it was more than that to me!#and as an added bonus the only therapist i've ever seen in my life used to call my panic attacks ''pseudo-panic attacks''#because even she felt it didn't quite fit in the description (not that she was a good therapist so i can't put her as an example lol)#but anyways... yeah every day that goes by i'm more and more convinced I am autistic and it scares me to fucking death#because of the way my mom reacted when i first raised the question. so yeah this is for nothing lol nothing will change in my life#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#angel talks#personal
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anachronistic-falsehood · 2 years ago
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debating veryyyy hard with myself on whether or not to keep rem dead in my roadtrip fic. bc on one hand her death was such a huge integral part of vash's character and to keep her alive even in a modern au would be erasing a very important part of him. but also what if nice mom gets to meet her son's four partners and is the best mom ever and cares about all the people her son loves. what then
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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#i was supposed to spend the last 2 days prepping and relaxing for the start of this big project tomorrow#but ive spent thr last 2 days frantically coding as fast as i could and focusing v hard to get a lot of bullshit done#and ive fixed things since yesterday. the changes i had to make were too too bad bc the thing that went wrong was so fucking weird#but it should be okay by tomorrow. knock on wood. but this does mean ive done fuck all to prep for tomorrow#so we r winging it bby. ugh. just gotta fucking pray that everything goes ok. pls let nothing b broken and let everything seal properly 🙏#i was also supposed to meet with my boss today. probably for her to make sure i dont fuck up this project but apparently their safety hood#was having an emergency... whatever that means. so im sure shes having a week as well. and im free to fuck everything up for everyone#ugh. im so. theres a certain point in burning out where youre not really in pain anymore. you dont really feel anything all your joy and#hope dissolves away and u just exist to be useful. and i feel like its easier to maintain that than trying to b happy#i do not advise that bc its a fucking miserable. wasteful way to live but i dont really have time to try for anything better#god. i really hope my measurements friday dont take a full 8hrs. i dont know if i can handle that. literally i would have stay intensely#focused with my brain being Interrupted every 5min so i can manually record data points. its gonna b agony#so that fun. but maybe it wont. maybe itll be great and fun and ill have a wonderful time. seems unlikely but ya never kno#lets not think abt the fact that having to rush all this is preventing me from being able to do all thr other bullshit i need to get done#to prepare for the future. future? what future? hard to imagine from the bottom of this pit im digging myself#sigh. in a few months i can leave this place and never come back. soon but not soon enough#lol i was literally crying listening to cold play earlier bc idk thats the type of music my parents would put on at parties in summertime#so it evokes a v specific mood. which is i guess me hiding away from ppl at parties haha#back when i didnt have to worry abt things so much and i could just listen to the frogs chirping and watch the fireflies#oh god. now my boss is asking if i reached out for help tomorrow. no. lady i would rather drink bleach than have to direct an undergrad#tomorrow. its 10pm im fucking tired. just let me be sad. did i reach our for help? no my brain is on fire#tomorrow is gonna b a long day ugh#unrelated
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spent $200 on a jacket and it’s like it’s made of fuckint paper
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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 9 months ago
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MICKEY THIS QUIZ FUCKING GOT ME TOO I FELL TO MY KNEES 😭😭😭 these quizmakers need to be stopped IMMEDIATELY why am i getting emotional over this …… why is this Everything……
the most important person and the pale blue dot
it's you. you're the most important because you are here and alive on this planet, that, in the scope of it all, isn't even the most of anything. the silliness of how vast our home is and how many of us there are only makes each of us that much more incredible. every time you kiss the cheek of a loved one you are telling the Earth that she is important in all the little ways, and thanking her for making others to hold. and likewise, when you hurt one of hers, she festers, and when she is hurt by yours she reciprocates--bellowing, and bleeding. she is important because you make her big and you are important because she made you small. and so...take care of each other.
no-pressure tags <3 : @kissxcore @seiwas @stellamancer @scarabrat @hayakawalove @daydreamermarimo @missukiyo @riaki tagging the whole legion bc i wanna see everyone’s results so bad aaa ….. this quiz was so pretty T_T
the uquiz is done and it makes no sense <3 reblog and tell me! what is your duality? 💫
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lemonynuggets · 12 days ago
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nothing like a day of almost passing out since the moment you wake up because it’s extremely hot and you have to do housework
#lemon man talks#I’m gonna throw up#I couldn’t even have breakfast I had to go straight to cooking#If I step into the kitchen I’m actually gonna pass out I have low pressure problems#Also had to do laundry dishes and set the table yipee#And my brother is. Playing roblox. Very helpful.#He’s fully capable of at least taking his dirty laundry to the washing machine but nooo he throws everything into his chair and i have to#Sort through a disgusting clothing pile to figure out what’s clean and what’s dirty AND take it to the machine#And my parents just let him do whatever while giving me more orders and well let’s just say I haven’t had a single day off since summer#Break started#And I’m going on a big trip soon!! For studying!! In like a few days in fact!!#My grandma is here visiting so she’s sleeping in my room and I have to sleep with my fucking brother!!!#I can’t do anything and I had to move all my things and clean my room for my grandma to spend 3 days there!!!!! I’m ok#I’ve been having the worst 3 years of my life but whatever I don’t need a break who needs a break#I had to listen to my mom discuss why people shouldn’t get medication yesterday at lunch. I hate it here.#I can’t even get a diagnosis and now i know that if I did get it I wouldn’t be able to get medication. Rejoice!#Yesterday I joked about my mom changing my name legally to something stupid like tangerine and my father said “there won’t be a change whil#I’m still alive” fuck you if you don’t die then I’m killing you with hammers I hate you so much you’ve destroyed my life already thanks#Well this was. A rant#Byesies
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phagodyke · 2 months ago
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#told my roommate ive been depressed this weekend and she kindly offered to watch a movie but i knew shed be too tired and need to cancel#bc of the clocks changing and its ok i know how tired she gets i was the one to suggest it was okay if she cant + it was still a nice idea#but now im alone for the evening again ive been alone all weekend and weekends are the hardest for me and i thought i was feeling a little#better but im not and theres nothing to stop me from harming which is okay i keep it safe and its always a choice i make to do it or not#not anyone elses responsibility but i didnt want.to be alone tonight thats all. and offering something she knows she cant fulfil makes me#feel rejected too and i also wanted to talk abt some of her behaviour that upsets me sometimes but gently bc i dont want it to seem like#im blaming her bc its not her fault im so bad at communicating and neurotic and weird abt shit that doesnt even make sense#but its been bothering me for a really long time and it comes up again every time we meet with other people and i get really upset over it#and im the one that keeps putting off talking about it but its so hard when its been gping on so long and i find it so hard to express#anything and communicate especiallt when its shit like this but im so so so so tired of sitting on it i just want it resolved one way or#another and now i wont see her for a few days bc of this family trip and itll be on my mind the whole time and the thought is making me#feel insane already ive wasted so many hours and hours being upset by her and not being able to talk abt it i need it to stop its not even#that big a deal.it just is to me. and i dont know how to say anythign ever#and she wants to make plans with friends next weekend which feels like hoisting an anvil above my head bc if i dont go i risk having a#rejection sensitive episode bc im vulnerable rn and this is exactly what happened over the summer and it took me months to recover from but#if i do go ill get upset bc ill feel unwanted there and ill be dealing with the same issue that comes up every fucking time and either way#ill end up harming in response to it bc i cant handle how intense my emotions are and i dont have any better outlets right now#for these specific feelings and i dont want to do that i want to be a normal fucking human being who doesnt lock themself in a#stupid fucking iron maiden style repression over completely innocuous shit that no one would even know im reacting this way to#i cant do it i cant do thjs anymore i cant i want it to stop im so tired and it hurts so so much feeling so much like this#they should make a mind for me that is capable of not inflicting distress this intense on itself i need to explode#actually. maybe since i wont see her for a couple days i can write a long discord message about it instead. i know its a shitty way to#deliver information but maybe it would be easier that way rather than trying to summon the courage to say anything in person when im#usually actively upset abt it at the time and my immediate response to getting upset is to shut down and not express which doesnt help#and its so stupid but i need it to not be like this i cant keep living with her and getting so upset so regularly it has to stop now#ill think about itand maybe draft it. and then i can decide. but right now i need to eat. and pack. and then cut sorry. but its ok#ughhhhfdhf. please let this week be better ill try harder ill say something i have to im the one inflicting this on myself by not talking#about it!!!!!!!!! so. man and i think my dinner is cold now too. oh well#.vent#tw self harm
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