#she might have thought it was the right thing to leave but she still left a child all alone in cruel world
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sierrale8ne · 3 days ago
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nsfw // big freak shit alert! jealous!p, bratty!venus, strap sucking, strap-on sex, spitting, degradation, ass play, toxic!p comes out to play a lil bit, time jump (summer 2025, all-star break)
đŸ·ïž @thaatdigitaldiary @rosemariiaa @xxloveralways14 @pboogerswbb @tndaqlifwy @wbbgetsmewetter @ohbueckers @d3arapril @lovegalor333 @lupinqs @makethemhoesmad @cherryswisherz @bueckersbitch
The feeling of a vacation never really got old for Venus and Paige. The worked nearly year round. Especially this year, it’s been a year since Paige has gotten a break seeing as the end of her college season transitioned seamlessly into her professional season.
As for Venus, she was lucky that the Patriots were, if not the worst, one of the worst teams in the NFL. Meaning that all the media work she was needed for ended in December. But with Paige getting drafted to Dallas, and the Cowboys coincidentally having a vacancy in her position, the second Venus touched down in Dallas meant she was back to work.
So you could assume this break, even if short, was much much needed.
Their cruise vacation had become a bit of a tradition. Once every summer, they found themselves on their adult only cruise indulging in a five days of drinking, relaxation, and sex. How could one forget about the sex.
It was always a great time, but now? Venus would rather be anywhere but this damn ship.
They went down to the deck together, music and a few cocktails enveloping the two in their own little world. Then Paige wanted another drink, so she left for the bar, insisting that Venus sit pretty for her until she got back.
What the tattooed girl didn’t expect was for Paige to be enveloped in conversation with another woman at the bar
It’s all Paige’s fault. Her pro contract came with more deals, more money, and more eyes. More eyes from women who couldn’t seem to get enough of the blonde. The fact that she looked as sexy as possible in her light washed jorts and sleeveless graphic shirt, the blonde of her hair flowing in the caribbean breeze, didn’t fucking help.
She saw red. The way the woman smiled in her face and bit her lip, every few minutes reaching over to touch her girlfriend’s arm. The way she laughed at every little thing Paige said, which was even more aggravating because the blonde was not that fucking funny—
“You come by yourself?”
The voice echos in Venus’s ear, making her turn around slightly to see who’s speaking to her. The older woman is tall, nowhere near as tall as Paige, but tall enough that her head tilts up to see her. Her hair was dark and short and shaggy, just barely falling over her shoulders.
“I’m sorry?”
“I said, are you by yourself?” The woman repeats, leaning downward to project into her ear.
Venus knew better. She knew that if Paige were to turn around, even just for a second, and get a glimpse of her and this woman, she might actually blow a vein. Which made it all the more exciting.
“More like left alone.” Venus responds, very tentatively pushing back her hair over her shoulder. The trail of jewelry cuffed on her ear being put on display.
The woman looks almost astonished. “And who would leave your pretty self all alone?”
That woman in question sat at the bar. Still, waiting for what felt like years for her dirty shirley and Venus’s lemon drop. Her feet were propped up against the ledge of the stool, feet bouncing as she heard the blonde beside her speak flirtatiously to her.
Paige thought she was doing great at keeping the flirting to a minimum. She moved her arm back every few seconds and made sure to break her eye contact before the woman got the wrong idea.
It was when she took a quick peak— just over her shoulder, to make sure her girlfriend was safe where she left her— that she saw it. Venus’s hand on another woman’s shoulder.
She couldn’t fight the smirk on her face, no chance her girlfriend was blatantly flirting with someone else right in front of her.
Normally, while looking at her girlfriend, she would be nearly falling to her knees. Venus was laced in sex appeal, and the outfit she wore right now only enhanced it. The set was black lace, the lack of fabric intentional due to the Caribbean summer heat. The material was thick enough to keep everything held in place, but thin enough to give Paige and whoever else they’d come across a show of every curve and valley of Venus’s body.
But now? She was livid, watching her smile and toss her head back with laughter. How she kept leaning in to whisper in the woman’s ear. Every move was purposeful, like she knew that Paige was watching. Which she was.
Her eyes dart to the bartender, who was passing off that lemon drop she ordered. An idea flashed across Paige’s face as she grasped the plastic cup in her hand.
“You like lemon drops?”
Yeah, two could play at that game.
It was obvious that Paige was now trying to piss her off, that she was lengthening whatever stupid fucking conversation she was having to get on every one of her nerves. Venus was always one step ahead of her, however.
She thought Paige had lost her mind. That there had to be some otherworldly force responsible for her actions, because Paige buying someone else a drink in front of her own eyes was diabolical. Unthinkable even.
So when the woman, who she had now known as Maia, reached for her hand and asked her to dance, she took one glance at her girlfriend and when she saw Paige hand her drink to another woman, she said yes.
Venus dragged Maia across the dance floor, purposefully finding a spot right in front of the bar where, if turned around, Paige would see with her own two eyes what she was up to.
It was a brilliant idea in her own head, one that would serve as the most perfect payback.
Lover/Friend by KAYTRANADA echoes through the speakers, string and strobe lights decorating the deck. Venus is determined. She presses her ass against her, slowly moving to the music.
She loses herself in the music pretty quickly, hips swaying and eyes closing. Maia attempts to keep up, and all Venus can think about is how badly this should be her and Paige right now. How it should be the blonde behind her, gripping her hips and whispering in her ear about how badly she wanted to take her back to their room.
It’s partially the reason why she starts acting out, grinding her hips in a way that makes Maia let out a low whistle into her ear.
They dance through the rest of the song while the woman grips Venus’s waist, the action makes her head shoot up, smile quickly growing when she felt Paige’s eyes on her.
They were a piercing shade of blue, stuck to every inch of her body. Venus’s job was complete. She gave the blonde a smirk, before looking away, grabbing Maia’s hands from her hips to turn around.
“How about you get me a drink?” She teases, tongue darting over her bottom lip. Her eyes ever so enticing and rimmed with black.
“Yeah?” Maia asks with a bite of her lip. It takes every bone in her body to not cringe at it. “What do you want?”
“Vodka cranberry.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She’s walking off to the bar within a matter of seconds, leaving Venus alone to dance to another song. The atmosphere was booming, enough for her to forget that her girlfriend had almost blown a blood vessel with how pissed she had grown. Venus’s phone buzzes in her purse, and she reaches in to grab it almost immediately.
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Paige worked fast, because within a matter second she felt arms around her waist, nails digging into her hips with an anger that could only belong to her girlfriend.
And then she felt it.
The feeling of Paige behind her, her front pressed dangerously close to her back, and the strap that was very obviously felt underneath her jeans. Venus nearly scoffs, surprised that she didn’t notice it earlier in the evening.
“We’re leaving.” Paige mumbled into her ear, like the statement is final.
Venus hates that, of course, because she’s her own person. A certain irritation rises within her which blends terribly with the growing arousal between her legs. “But I’m having so much fun. I thought you were too.” She pouts teasingly.
“Venus.” Paige draws her hands back, slighting pushing her girlfriend forward with a hand to the small of her back. “I’m going to our room. You got five minutes to get up there, or i’m fucking you up.”
It took Venus seven minutes.
Which was an absolute no go.
Paige was on her the second the door swung open, gripping her hips and pushing her onto the bed as she avoided meeting their lips. In her mind, Venus didn’t deserve a damn kiss. Not after tonight.
She tugged of her shirt with a vigor, a rip tearing its way through the very center to reveal her bare chest. It wasn’t a surprise that she went braless, If anything Paige should’ve expected it from her.
Venus shot up, her face visibly reddening in a mix of annoyance and disbelief. “Paige!”
“Shut up.” The blonde grunts, reaching for one of the many hair ties on her wrist to pull back her hair. “Ion wanna hear shit from you, just shut up.”
Surprisingly, Venus listened, the tiniest huff escaping her lips. Paige shot her a look before shaking her head. It was hard to decipher what that was about. Maybe she was still heated, or it was the image of her dancing on another woman, or maybe it was that even through it all, Paige thought she was the sexiest woman in the world.
Probably the latter.
Paige was almost immediately reaching under her skirt for her panties, kissing her teeth at just how soaked they were.
“You wanna tell me who you’re this wet for?”
“I thought I was supposed to shut up.”
Paige nods, almost as if Venus got her on that one thing. Her hand pressing closer to the woman’s wet cunt, feeling up her clit through the material of the lace. Venus sucks in a sharp gasp, trying to keep quiet as instructed but also push at that button on Paige’s nerves just a bit more.
Her fingers travel slowly, dipping under her underwear and running through her folds. Paige is barely tactful about it, she doesn’t care about getting Venus off and that’s obvious by the look in her eye. She just wants to make a point. To prove that it’s always going to be her.
“P—ah!” Venus yelps when Paige’s finally pushing them in, rough and fast. Her fingers curl almost instantly, the squelch of her cunt echoing off the walls. She was dripping like a faucet, arousal trailing down Paige’s long fingers.
But it only lasts so long, because Paige pulls them back out. Looking intently at the glisten of her fingers.
“Maia would’ve fucked me by now.” Venus shrugs, effectively putting the nail the coffin.
Paige freezes and a smirk travels to her lips. “You said what?” She asks with dark eyes.
“You heard me.”
That alone is enough for Paige to bring her clean hand to her shorts, licking the other clean before unbuttoning them. “On your knees, V. C’mon.” She instructs.
Venus does as told. Her ass slips down the edge of their bed, she sinks to her knees before her.
She thinks about how good Paige looks like this, jeans undone and boxers on display. Her hair in a messy bun, the pink of her lips, the column of her neck.
She stares at the center of Paige’s boxers, right where the pink of the silicone dildo sits comfortably. Venus grips at the waistband of the jeans, tugging them down her tanned legs, the muscle of her thighs flexing as she steps out of the clothing.
“Get it nice and wet, ma.” Paige bites her lip. Her girlfriend looked like a slut, in every aspect of the word. Venus’s eyes blown wide, slightly watery. Her pierced nipples on display, the blondes’s name sitting nicely above her collarbone in a small cursive.
She grips the strap in her hand, her spit shooting out over the tip. The action nearly makes Paige forget she’s supposed to be mad at her.
Venus’s lips press against the side of it, tongue lolling out of her mouth and back and forth against the shaft. When she finally does take the strap in her mouth, the moan that Paige gives her is almost pleasureful enough.
The silicone stretches Venus’s mouth wide, almost too wide. All seven inches slide down her throat, muffled gags drowning out Paige’s groans. The blonde swore she could feel it, feel the warmth of her tongue and the sucking of her mouth.
“So messy, baby.” Paige hums, “gag on it, jus’ like that.” Her large hand sinks into Venus’s braids, the other cupping her chin to angle her the way she pleased. Then she starts moving her hips.
Angry sex isn’t common between the two, which is odd considering the fact that they argue over the dumbest things every single day. But in Paige’s mind, even if she technically started it, Venus took it too far. So far that Paige wanted nothing more than to fuck her stupid. To make her jaw ache from how rough she would fuck her face, make her legs feel like jelly, make tears fall from her eyes and down her cheeks and apologies spew from her lips while Paige fucked her until she tapped out.
So, the athlete held Venus still while she drew her hips back and forth. Saliva pooled at the corners of her mouth as she attempted to breathe, Paige still kept going.
The tip of the strap hit the back of her throat, making Venus dig her nails into Paige’s thighs.
“Aww you can’t take it? Huh?” She tugs Venus’s hair harder, forcing her head back further to push more of her strap into her mouth. Paige can’t even remember the last time she had her like this— on her knees and breaking apart every ounce of faux dominance into submission. “Y’know I hate bein’ mean to you, baby. But I gotta make sure you learn, yeah?”
Venus pushes at her abdomen in search for air, but Paige pushes it away. Her nose nestled against her girlfriend’s pelvis, nearly every inch of her forced into Venus’s mouth.
Paige finally lets her go, feeling just a tad bit bad about nearly suffocating her girlfriend like that. “Fuck— P.” She murmurs between ragged breaths, a cough or two escaping her chest.
“You gonna be good for me?” Paige asks, bringing Venus to her feet by the arm.
No. Say no.
“Yes, baby.” She breathes, mascara flaking under her eyes. “Promise.”
“Good.” Paige mumbles. It takes everything in her to hold out crashing her lips on hers, especially when they’re all wet and plump, but she’s holds on. “Bend over this bed, I been wantin’ you since I saw this fucking skirt.”
Venus turns around, the material of her skirt still clinging to her hips. She bends over the edge, immediately going on her toes as she arches her back in the way the blonde likes.
“Look at that perfect ass.” Paige says in almost disbelief, “all mine and you wanna grind it on some other bitch.” She sends a harsh slap to it watching the fat giggle in response.
“Paige, fu—ck, please. Fuck me, please.” Venus moans. She wants to push back, to fuck herself on her girlfriends cock like a slut and get what she so badly wanted— not so much deserved, seeing as that was why Paige was so mad at her in the first place.
The athlete grips her ass in her hands, putting Venus’s cunt on display, the wetness the drips through her folds, past her clit, and onto the edge of the bed. “Yeahhhhh, keep begging. Lemme hear it.”
“Please, P.”
“Again.”
“‘M sorry, baby. Please plea—”
Her pleading it cut off by the distracting nature of Paige’s thumb against her ass. The way she circled it and darted from the arousal of her pussy back to her puckered asshole. She was enthralled by it, allowing her spit to fall onto it.
“Nah don’t stop for me. Tell me what you need. Whatchu need so damn bad that you wanted to piss me off like that, ma?” Her voice is cold, deep and raspy in a way that she hasn’t heard in forever.
“Need you inside. Please please, Paige I—fuck please?” Venus begs, silently hoping it’s enough for her to do something other than tease her until she almost cried.
Paige shakes her head from behind, griping the wet strap by the base. She pushes the pink silicone inside fast, the mix of saliva and arousal making the fight nonexistent.
Venus takes it all with ease, a loud pornographic moan escaping her. “Fuck! M’ my God, P.” She cries, fingers immediately gripping at the sheets.
“She just takes it all, huh?” Her thumb followed, breaking inside, all while continuing the motion of her hips. “Fucking slut, you’re a fucking slut, y’know that, V? Actin’ up like I haven’t been fucking you every damn day we’ve been here.”
It was like with each passing second the blonde was getting even more heated, the memory of her girlfriend with another woman turning her almost animalistic.
Venus is falling apart too, every inch hitting her g-spot over and over and over as Paige had learned how to ages ago. And each time she seemed to just get better at it. “Baby! You’re— fuckin’ deep. So deep, shit.”
Her arms stretched in front of her fisting the sheets when Paige bunches up her skirt, pounding into Venus at a speed that could only be attributed to her athleticism and stamina.
Paige looked down to see how she completely covered the silicone in her arousal, the sound of Venus’s ass against her thighs, loud and heavy.
“Had her thinkin’ she would ever get to see you like this. You fuckin’ crazy?” Her statements are almost drowned out by the moans of her girlfriend.
“I’m-I’m cumming, gonna cum! P, please.” Venus whines, reaching back to grip at the hem of Paige’s shirt. “Wanna cum, oh my God!”
“Hold that shit, V. I don’t care.”
Paige is quick to throw her hand off, drawing her hips back and forth, pounding Venus’s fucking life away. She tugs up her shirt, the lust clouding her better judgment that would tell her to throw her shirt off and instead she just tucks it under her chin. She curls her thumb deeper, matching that movement with the thrusts of her strap.
“I’m sorry, I promise!”
“Yeah, I know you’re sorry now, but you weren’t sorry earlier, huh? Tryna give my pussy away, it’s like that?” Paige’s breath is heavy, a mixture of the sex and the alcohol that rushes through her veins. “Shit, this pussy, baby.”
With that, the blonde was pulling out and flipping her over. Venus’s legs fell open almost instantly, a testimony to how fucking badly she needed her again. She was greedy, desperately so. Paige was right, she’d turned her out every single day they’ve been on the cruise but for whatever reason, she wanted more right now.
Her arms wrapped around Paige’s neck as she slid back in, hovering over her.
“You better fucking kiss me.” Venus moans softly, her eyes rolling at the new position.
Paige’s long fingers circled around Venus’s throat, adding to her pleasure as she slightly picked up the pace of her hips. "Take all this shit, you deserve all this dick, mama. Swear." She egged her on as she powerfully fucked her into the bed.
“I can’t!”
“Yeah you can, can take all of it, baby.” She coos, “you think she could’ve fucked you better than me?”
Venus’s eyes snap open, she reaches for anything in her grasp, deciding that the collar of Paige’s shirt would keep her grounded. “No, no, baby.”
“She would’ve made you cum as hard as I’m about to? Ion think so, ma.”
After what felt like decades, Paige finally kissed her with passion, her tongue inside Venus’s mouth as she squeezed at her neck causing her to cum almost on the spot. The kiss silenced the sounds of her cries. Venus scratched at her back through that damned t-shirt.
Her cum coating the pink silicone in a milky white, sticky against not only her own thighs but Paige’s as well.
"Fucking shit." Paige hissed out. "V, fuck." She warned, almost weary. Beads of sweat adorned her forehead, and it was like the second Venus’s high washed over she was forgetting about the source of the argument in the first place.
The athlete’s chest heaved up and down and her mouth was left wide open while she breathed heavily and hotly into Venus’s ear.
“P—”
“—You fucking piss me off, man.” Paige groans flopping down against Venus’s chest. The tattooed girl chuckled, a low and tired one that vibrates again Paige’s head. “Dancing on her is crazy.”
“You gave that blonde headed bitch my drink! Hell, you started it.” Venus heaves, “don’t be mad ‘cause you can’t finish what you started.”
“Shut up!” Paige kisses at her chest, greeting the faded marks from the other nights they’ve been on the cruise. “I fucked you till you cried, I think I finished it.”
“You shut u—”
Venus is cut off with a kiss, a soft one though, much different than the manner Paige just fucked her with. Paige sucks on her tongue drawing all of Venus’s moans into her own mouth. “I love you, okay? And I’m sorry for starting shit. Happy?”
“I guess.”
“Say it back then.”
“I love you too. Dickhead.”
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the-oblivious-writer · 3 days ago
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Heavy
Tara Carpenter x Reader
One-Shot
Summary: After surviving a brutal attack that left you in a coma, you awaken to find the love of your life, Tara Carpenter, has vanished from your side despite the endless nights she spent holding your hand through the worst of it.
Warning(s): Trauma, no pronouns, references to past (Scream 6) violence, mental struggles, survivor's guilt, stalking, emotional manipulation (self-imposed), and PTSD.
Notes: I was listening to Red Hot Chili Peppers while writing this.
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You never looked more beautiful than when you were dying.
That thought haunts Tara as she lies in her empty bed, tracing patterns on sheets that still smell faintly of your perfume. Three months since she last held your hand in that sterile hospital room. Three months of pretending she made the right choice.
The machines kept time with your heartbeat, a rhythm she memorized during those endless nights at your bedside. Sometimes, she still hears it in her dreams - that steady beeping that meant you were still fighting, still here, still hers. Until she decided you couldn't be hers anymore.
Sam stopped by earlier, concern etched in the corners of her eyes. "You're punishing yourself," she'd said, leaving a container of soup that now sits untouched on Tara's nightstand. Maybe she is. But isn't that better than the alternative? Better than waiting for the next masked figure to emerge from the shadows, seeking to add your name to the growing list of people she's lost?
Your coma lasted six weeks. Six weeks of Tara reading to you, singing softly when the nurses weren't around, telling you all the things she should have said before. How you made her feel safe in a world that had given her every reason not to be. How your laugh could chase away the darkness that sometimes threatened to swallow her whole. How you never treated her like she was broken, even when she felt held together by nothing but stubborn will and surgical tape.
She remembers the first time you kissed her, after that night at the bowling alley. You'd been so careful with her, like you understood without being told that touch wasn't always easy for her anymore. Your hands had framed her face like she was something precious, something worth protecting. If only you'd protected yourself from her instead.
The phone on her nightstand lights up with another missed call from Chad. He's been trying to get her to come out, insisting that isolation isn't the answer. But how can she explain that every time she closes her eyes, she sees you in that hospital bed? The bandages, the bruises, the way your chest rose and fell with mechanical precision because you couldn't breathe on your own. All because someone had wanted to hurt her, and you'd been brave enough - stupid enough - to step between her and the blade.
"I can't lose you," she had whispered to your unconscious form. "I won't survive it."
But when you finally opened your eyes, weak and confused but alive, Tara realized something worse than losing you to death: losing you by choice, pushing you away to keep you safe from the curse that seems to follow her like a shadow.
The breakup was clean, surgical - like so many of the scars that map her body. She'd practiced the words in front of her bathroom mirror until they stopped making her cry. "I can't do this anymore. I need space. I need to focus on healing." All the clichés that meant nothing and everything at once. You'd looked at her with those eyes that always saw too much, and for a moment, she thought you might fight her on it. Almost hoped you would.
But you didn't. You just nodded, pressed a kiss to her forehead that felt like goodbye, and walked away. Maybe you understood. Maybe you were tired of loving someone who carried death in her wake like a bitter perfume.
Tara rolls onto her side, pulling your old high school sweatshirt tighter around herself. It stopped smelling like you weeks ago, but she wears it anyway, a form of self-torture she can't seem to give up. On her desk, photographs mock her with frozen moments of happiness - you and her at the beach, your hair wild with salt air and sunshine. The two of you at the twins' birthday party, your arm around her waist as she actually smiled for the camera. A quiet morning in your apartment, where you'd captured her making coffee in one of your oversized t-shirts, looking at peace in a way she rarely felt anymore.
Her friends tell her she's different now. Quieter. The spark that had started to return during your time together has dimmed again. Even Mindy, who never comments on anything serious, asked if she was okay the other day. Tara had wanted to laugh. Okay? How could she be when you're forced to bear wounds that were meant for her? When she spends her nights parked across from your apartment, engine off, watching the soft glow of your bedroom light like a moth drawn to flame?
She tells herself it's protection, not obsession. That someone needs to make sure you're safe, even if you don't know they're there. But the truth sits heavy in her chest as she watches your silhouette move behind curtains - the way you still favor your left side, a reminder of wounds that were meant for her. Sometimes, she catches glimpses of you leaving for work, and the sight of you walking alone makes her hands shake against the steering wheel. You look smaller somehow, or maybe that's just the distance she's forced between you.
Last week, you almost saw her. You were collecting mail from your box, and something made you turn, scanning the street with that sixth sense you always seemed to have. Tara had ducked down so fast she'd knocked her head against the dashboard, heart thundering so loud she was sure you'd hear it even from across the street. When she finally dared to look again, you were gone, but she could have sworn there were tears on your cheeks.
She knows it's wrong. Knows that if Sam or Chad found out about these nightly vigils, they'd tell her she's sliding back into old patterns, letting trauma dictate her choices. But how can she explain that sleeping is impossible unless she knows you're safe? That every time she closes her eyes without checking on you, her nightmares paint your death in vivid technicolor?
It's only a matter of time before you two cross paths again. It happens at the corner market three blocks from your old shared apartment. The same place where you used to buy cookie dough ice cream at midnight, where Tara would pretend to complain about enabling your sweet tooth while secretly loving how your kisses tasted afterward. She's reaching for coffee - your brand, though she'll never admit it - when she hears the soft intake of breath behind her.
Time stretches like taffy, sticky and overwhelming. Your reflection in the freezer glass is both familiar and foreign - thinner maybe, or just holding yourself differently. The scar above your collarbone peeks out from your shirt collar, a silvery reminder of everything she's tried to forget.
"Tara."
Her name in your mouth still sounds like coming home. She forces herself to turn, to face the reality of you standing three feet away with a basket of groceries hanging from your arm. The fluorescent lights cast shadows under your eyes that weren't there before, and she wonders if you're sleeping any better than she is.
"You look..." The words tangle in her throat. Alive. Beautiful. Like everything I've been running from. "...good."
Your laugh is hollow, nothing like the sound she keeps locked away in her memory. "Liar." You shift your weight, and she catches the slight wince - another reminder of what loving her cost you. "You've lost weight."
"Haven't been hungry much." The confession slips out before she can stop it.
Something flashes across your face - concern, maybe anger. You take a step forward, and she matches it with a step back, her spine hitting the cold glass of the freezer door. The coffee can in her hands shakes slightly.
"Don't," she whispers, but she's not sure if she's talking to you or herself.
"Don't what, Tara? Don't care? Don't worry? Because I tried that. It doesn't work." Your voice cracks on the last word, and she watches you swallow hard. "I see your car, you know. Outside my apartment."
The confession lands like a physical blow. Heat crawls up her neck as shame mingles with something else - relief, maybe, that you still know her well enough to notice. That some part of you is still watching for her too.
"I just..." She closes her eyes, unable to bear the weight of your gaze. "I need to know you're safe."
"Safe?" Now there's definitely anger in your voice. "You want me safe? Then stop making decisions for both of us. Stop deciding what I can and can't handle. Stop-" Your voice breaks, and when she opens her eyes, there are tears tracking down your cheeks. "Stop acting like your love is a death sentence."
The coffee can clatters to the floor, forgotten. Her hands ache to reach for you, to wipe away those tears she caused. But she forces them to stay at her sides, nails digging crescents into her palms.
"You almost died," she says, the words tasting like copper in her mouth. "Because of me. Because I thought I could have this - have you - without danger following. I was wrong."
"No." You step closer, and this time she can't make herself move away. "I almost died because some psychopath decided to come after us with a knife. Not because of you. Never because of you."
Your hand reaches out, hovering just shy of touching her face. She can feel the heat of it, the promise of contact that makes her chest tight with wanting. The market's muzak plays faintly in the background, some old love song that feels like mockery.
"I miss you," you whisper, and it's the gentlest violence she's ever experienced. "I miss you, and I'm not sleeping, and sometimes I think I see you everywhere, only to turn around and find empty space. And then I realized I wasn't imagining it - you were actually there, watching over me like some heartbroken guardian angel."
A sob builds in her throat. "I don't know how to stop loving you."
"Then don't." Your hand finally makes contact, cupping her cheek, and Tara breaks. "Don't stop. Just... come home."
She leans into your touch for one heartbeat, two, allowing herself to remember what it feels like to be held by hands that know all her scars. Then she steps back, away from your warmth, your forgiveness, your love that feels too much like salvation.
"I can't." The words taste like ash. "I'm sorry. I can't."
She runs. Past the dropped coffee, past the concerned clerk, past everything but the sound of you calling her name. It follows her all the way home, where she collapses against her front door and finally lets herself cry for everything she keeps choosing to lose.
The worst part is knowing that if she could do it all over again - live another life, make different choices - she'd still choose you. Still fall for the way you dance off-beat to every song, still melt at how you bring her coffee just the way she likes it, still love you with every broken piece of herself. She'd just do a better job of staying away before you could love her back.
Night settles around her like a familiar weight. In the darkness, she can almost pretend you're still here, that this is just another evening where you'll wrap your arms around her and keep the nightmares at bay. But the bed stays empty, and the shadows stay thick, and somewhere across town, you're probably sleeping peacefully for the first time since you met her.
"I love you," she whispers to the empty room, words she never said enough when she had the chance. "I love you, and that's why I can't keep you."
The silence offers no comfort, no contradiction. Just the steady tick of her bedside clock, counting down the moments until another day without you begins. Another day of being strong enough to keep her distance, of choosing your safety over her happiness. Another day of remembering that sometimes love means knowing when to let go, even when every cell in your body screams to hold on tighter.
Sleep will come eventually, bringing dreams of your smile, your touch, the way you used to look at her like she hung the stars. And tomorrow, she'll wake up and do it all again - loving you from afar, keeping you safe the only way she knows how. Because that's what love is to Tara Carpenter now: not a fairy tale, not a happy ending, but a sacrifice she makes every day to keep you breathing.
Even if it means she can barely breathe herself.
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A/N: the meaning behind The Maria's "Heavy" inspired this.
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suckunaa · 14 hours ago
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hate to be lame - hockey!satoru gojo x artist/influencer!reader
summary - you and satoru gojo have been best friends for years. you've also both spent years pining after each other on and off. when you like him he's wrapped up in a new relationship. when he admits to himself he has feelings for you, suddenly you're completely infatuated with the guy you just met at brunch. the timing never seems to be right and you're starting to think that just maybe, that's a sign that the two of you are better off as just friends.
chapter 3 - it's always on the tip of my tongue (masterlist) prev
word count: 6.3k
contains: f reader, crude language, a lil bit of fluff and a lil bit of angst 18+ only MDNI
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it had been a couple of weeks since you had ditched gojo at brunch. you hadn't seen him since, though not for lack of trying on his part. you weren't even actually going out of your way to avoid him; his team had had three consecutive road games and you had a quickly approaching deadline for some art pieces a gallery had commissioned from you for one of their upcoming shows. you tended to turn into a hermit the closer you got to finishing pieces, wanting to devote every ounce of yourself to your craft.
satoru understood that, of course he did, but despite you insisting you were fine, he could tell you were still upset with him. your texts were infrequent and often emotionless, a far cry from your usual demeanor. he'd tried to see you immediately after he had realized you had left him behind at brunch, but mei mei had beat him to your apartment and wouldn't let him in. when he’d asked why she’d replied with “if you have to ask then you definitely don’t get to see her.”
the thing was, satoru was not actually an idiot. he might speak without thinking, say careless or stupid things to get a laugh, had a laid back demeanor the majority of the time - but he wasn’t an idiot. you leaving brunch in a huff was both a dream come true and a nightmare all at once. dream come true because the only logical conclusion he could come to was that you were mad about his run in with rumi because you reciprocated the feelings he secretly had for you. nightmare, because he knew how bad it had looked, the way rumi had held onto his arm, the kiss she had initiated.
he wasn’t actually sure what you had seen, for all he knew just seeing him and rumi breathing the same air might set you off - a thought he had only because seeing you that close to the guy you went on a date with last month would probably cause him to crash out. the only reason he didn’t feel that way when he saw you around choso was because he knew with absolute certainty that neither you nor his teammate were interested in the other.
but he didn’t want to have this conversation over text. he wanted it face to face, where neither of you could hide behind emojis and memes and more importantly, where he couldn’t chicken out. for as certain as he felt what you ditching him at brunch meant, there was still a part of him that was unsure. maybe the reason you’d gotten mad and left had nothing to do with rumi. maybe he’d said something that hadn’t initially bothered you but the more you thought about it, the more it pissed you off. or maybe the reason you’d gone home alone despite just having invited him over had nothing to do with him and maybe your distance from him the past two weeks also had nothing to do with him.
maybe.
but, satoru gojo wasn’t actually an idiot.
â—Žăƒ»văƒ»â—ăƒ»vïœ„â—‹ăƒ»văƒ»â—Žăƒ»văƒ»â—ăƒ»vïœ„â—‹ăƒ»văƒ»â—Žăƒ»văƒ»â—ăƒ»vïœ„â—‹ăƒ»văƒ»â—Ž
it wasn’t like this was the first time you’d gone more than two weeks without seeing satoru. hell, it wasn’t even entirely unusual. it was true that you both made an effort to hang out when your schedules allowed, but you were both entrenched in demanding careers that there had been times it simply hadn’t been possible to see each other.
but you had always been available to him emotionally even when physically you were kept apart. he’d complain about something and you’d sympathize and coddle him or you’d tell him he was being a baby and to suck it up. however, when he’d complained to you yesterday about feeling like his coach was riding his ass for no reason, all you’d said was “that sucks.” no words of advice, no witty quip, no offer to bring him his favorite ice cream - nothing.
you were starting to feel a little bad. kind of. after your disastrous brunch, mei mei had come over and you had been completely open and honest with her. your feelings for satoru (to which she had replied “yeah i know”), how you thought you two were on the same page, how you had invited him over because you wanted to a throw yourself at him, how you’d seen him with rumi.
you’d been embarrassed when you started crying; embarrassed because you knew mei mei was your one friend who had always clocked the fact that you had feelings for satoru and had never even pretended to believe you when you insisted otherwise. embarrassed because despite what you had seen with him and rumi, you couldn’t get it out of your head that he had been extra flirty and physically affectionate with you and all that made you wonder now is if you’d missed your chance by being too chicken shit to say anything to him before he had ever met her. embarrassed because despite that, your imagination had already run wild and convinced part of you that he was all but in love with rumi now.
embarrassed because you were crying over satoru fucking gojo.
he was your best friend. you knew his reputation for having a string of flings was based in reality, that the rumors of him being a fuckboy weren’t just rumors. you knew he’d never once said “i love you” to any of his past girlfriends, not even the one he’d dated for two years (his longest relationship). he had never once in all the years you had known him expressed interest in a serious relationship.
you two would be huddled up on your couch, watching a romcom and while you were waxing on poetically about how romantic the story was and how you wanted something like that, he’d be rolling his eyes and complaining that the whole movie was unrealistic and would never work out in real life.
you should have known better than to fall for your best friend.
but mei mei had let you cry that night, had coddled you and brushed your hair while you tried to watch a tv show to distract yourself. she had made sure you showered and ordered dinner while you did so, made sure your skincare routine was done after getting you in your coziest pair of pj’s, braided your hair for you while you watched a documentary on renaissance painters. she made sure you drank enough water (“have to replenish all those tears you just spilled” she’d joked but you knew she was looking out for you), got you into bed and turned on your favorite show to fall asleep to.
she had eventually gotten into bed next to you, stealing an old oversized shirt of yours to sleep in, and it had been comforting when you’d woken up from a nightmare about everyone you loved leaving you to turn around and see the familiar shape of mei mei’s back, her light snoring the only indication she was asleep (she was an incredibly still sleeper and that had always freaked you out just a bit).
and the next morning, you had woken up to find out that she had woken up before you, the smell of breakfast drawing you out of your room. she had let you eat and enjoy your coffee in relative silence, and when you had finished she had put her own mug of coffee down on the table and looked you straight in the eyes with a gaze that was hard to turn away from.
“you have to tell satoru how you feel.” you flinched at the bluntness of her words, shifted uncomfortably in your seat. when you didn’t say anything, she pressed on. “it’s not fair to him and it’s not fair to you. everything that happened yesterday was based on assumption.” she paused, head tilting to the side. “i mean, to me it’s clear as day that the two of you have feelings for each other. but neither of you have ever actually said it out loud to each other. you just finally admitted it to me last night even though i clocked that at least two years ago.”
she paused again, this time to take a sip of her coffee. “you don’t know what happened with rumi. you turned away before you actually saw them kiss - which i’m not blaming you for. he told you he barely knows her, if you really think he was reciprocating your actions and feelings yesterday, would he really be stupid enough to throw that all away for some chick he barely knows? and yes, i know we’re talking about gojo. that’s why i know how much he cares about you and values your relationship.”
more silence, you both sipping on coffee while you mull her words over. eventually you reply, looking away from her because you swore she was staring straight into your soul and you didn’t want to deal with the harsh reality of being seen. “you’ve never said any of this to me before, you know. you’ve just always tried to get me to admit to my feelings, but you’ve never really told me what you
 observe on his end.”
because mei mei was an observer. that’s why your feelings for your best friend had been so obvious to her. she paid attention to details that most people barely noticed, was intelligent as all hell and could put together fragments of puzzle pieces others didn’t even know existed. she wasn’t afraid to question people, dig around to find the information she was looking for. and yet, she had never once told you that she thought satoru felt the same way, had never pushed you to admit your feelings and that it would be fine because it was obvious he felt the same way.
“look, i may love to scheme a little and stick my nose in everyone’s business, but i’m not cupid interfering in everyone’s love life.” you arched an eyebrow at her, her hands immediately flying up to say wait. “it doesn’t count if someone is cheating and i tell their partner to look into it, okay? but i thought if you ever finally told him how you feel, it should be because you were confident enough to do so, not because i forced you.”
another beat of silence. “and now?”
“i can’t watch one of the people i care the most about continually get hurt. that’s why you need to tell him. it’s either going to work out or it’s not, but do you really think you’ll get over him and not spend your life wondering what if if you never say anything and just try to push past your feelings?” you wished she didn’t make so much sense. part of you resented her for being so straightforward when all you wanted to do was keep playing pretend.
a long, drawn out sigh leaves your lips, followed by a groan before you put your head down on the table top and closed your eyes. you would have probably sat like that forever if you didn’t know that mei mei, stubborn and headstrong, would sit there for just as long until you decided to say something.
you didn’t though, not for a couple more minutes. and then finally, you picked your head up, shoulders sagging as you nodded. “fine. i’ll tell him. but
 i just need to find the right time.” you thought your friends eyes were going to bug right out of her head, but you held up a hand before she could open her mouth. “i will do it, i promise. i just need to clear my head first, and i think we’re both pretty busy the next week or so.”
this seems to satiate mei mei, her face conceding as her features relaxed. she had then stood up and made her way behind you, wrapping her arms around your shoulders to hug you from behind. your hands lifted up to rest on her arms, giving her a gentle squeeze. “thank you, for
 all of this. and taking care of me.”
mei mei pressed a kiss to the side of your head, smoothing your hair as she let go of you and stood up. she’d stayed for another half hour before leaving you alone. all you had wanted to do was have another day of wallowing in your feelings but you had pieces to work on, and working on them was the next best therapeutic thing for you.
and that was where you had spent most of the past two weeks, holed away in the little studio space you rented to work on your art in. you were currently sitting on a stool in front of an easel, eyes carefully studying the painting in front of you. it was almost finished - anyone else looking at it would have thought it already was.
but there was something you couldn’t place your finger on, something that left you feeling like it was unfinished. you couldn’t figure out what though, a frustrated sigh filling the room before you tore your gaze away, looking around the space that surrounded you. it was bright, full of large windows to give you natural light, messy in a way that made sense to you, plants because you liked taking care of them and they made the space feel all that more homey.
and then your eyes landed on a canvas propped up against one of the side walls. it was full of blues and purples, some sort of depiction of night time at the beach. that was what satoru had told you, at least. the last time he had visited you at your studio you had allowed him to have one singular canvas that he could do whatever he pleased with. this had caused him an endless amount of joy, and besides the fact it kept him out of your hair, it had made you happy to watch the childlike wonder radiate off him.
fuck.
it hit you then, that maybe the reason you couldn't figure out what was missing from the painting in front of you was the fact that you had left your relationship with satoru unfinished. he was still your best friend, you still wanted him to be in your life always, you still had deep rooted feelings for him, and you still hadn't told him yet. you did intend to keep your promise to mei mei, but every time you psyched yourself up to do it you found a way to talk yourself out of it.
you couldn't put it off any longer though, the strain on your friendship was eating away at you and maybe even more importantly, you fucking missed him. and so, you picked up your phone and texted first mei mei and then satoru. you weren't going to hide anymore.
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"fuck, I know it's supposed to be cold but is it really supposed to be this cold?" mei mei pulled her black team coat over herself tightly as the two of you walked to your seats. she was also friends with a good amount of the team and had probably been to just as many games as you had - and she was right. the air in the arena felt a little more chill than normal, and you had started to think you were being oversensitive with the thought of talking to satoru afterwards. it was a relief, actually, when your friend voiced her complaint and you mentally scolded yourself; you had to get a grip.
"I'm gonna go and get us some coffee, I'm gonna be grumpy if I don't get some caffeine and warmth in me..." you nodded in response as mei mei walked off, leaving you to get settled into your seat alone (row one, because of course satoru made sure you had some of the best seats). you were earlier than you had meant to be, intending to show up a few minutes before the puck drop and instead, the players were just now taking to the ice for warm up.
and there he was, satoru gojo gliding gracefully on the ice. ever since you'd known him, you'd always loved to watch him play hockey. even in middle school, he'd been incredibly skilled already. laser fast and fearless, watching him had left you in awe. he had been your introduction to hockey, and when he found out you'd never even been ice skating before he had insisted on taking you to the ice rink to teach you.
you were pulled out of your thoughts when you noticed him raising a hand and waving at someone - no, waving at you. you gave him a wave back, a small smile curling at your lips instinctively. it didn't take long before fans were trying to get his attention and his focus was drawn away from you. what mattered to you in that moment was the fact that you had gotten his focus first.
you watched as the team participated in warm up drills, biting back a laugh as sukuna turned to yell at whoever accidentally hit him with a puck only to find it was yuji, the older brother's expression softening as he rolled his eyes and turned his focus back to what he was doing. you had always thought it was kind of sweet, the way sukuna, who was tough as nails always, softened up just a bit when it came to his younger brothers.
you were better friends with choso out of the three. choso who always seemed to look out for you in his own way, was always there to lend an ear when you needed one. unlike your relationship with gojo, the one you had with choso was rooted in purely platonic feelings. you suspected he knew of your feelings for satoru but unlike mei mei, he had never brought it up directly. instead giving advice that gently pushed you in the right direction without adding any pressure.
cho gave you a quick wave as he skated by, mei mei finally returning with two coffees, holding one out to you. you grabbed it greedily, taking a cautious sip and feeling your body relax as soon as you felt the warm liquid wash down. "know what I've always noticed when I come to games? especially when you're here." you turned your head to look at your friend as she sat down, her eyes trained on the scene in front of you: hockey fans standing around the glass to watch warm ups, some with signs asking for pucks, hopeful they might catch the attention of their favorite player.
she glanced at you and caught your raised eyebrow, smirking as her attention went back to the ice. "gojo almost always only goes to say hi to the kids trying to get his attention. all those wannabe hockey WAGs?" her chin gestured to a couple of pretty girls, dolled up and positioning themselves to get noticed. "he never gives them the time of day."
you shrug, trying to pretend you don't know what she's getting at. "unfair to characterize them as wannabe WAGs, pretty girls are hockey fans too." mei mei shoved your arm gently, eliciting a laugh from you as you grinned over at her. "alright you know what I was getting at you stubborn brat." you leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek, finishing off the rest of your coffee before settling back into your seat. "I know I know, thank you mei mei. let's just focus on the game for now or else i'm gonna lose my nerve."
besides the fact that you knew she would hold you accountable later about being honest with satoru about your feelings, mei mei was one of your favorite people to come to games with. she knew the game inside and out, was the first to yell at the refs when they made questionable calls and the first to cheer choso on when he dropped his gloves to fight a player on the other team who had made a questionable hit on megumi. she was passionate and it made watching games all the more fun for you, feeding off of her energy. it was actually what had finally gotten you to bother to actually learn most of the rules to the game so you also knew when refs made shitty calls (or when they let things go that they shouldn't have), though satoru had tried for years to get you to care about them.
the game ended eventually, a blowout that saw the final score 4-1 - satoru's team had won. they were fucking good, and you realized how much you had missed watching them play. it had probably only been a month since you had last been to a game, but you were making a mental note to try to come to them more regularly.
you and mei mei stayed in your seats even as the crowd started to clear out. the players were already off the ice, back in the locker room while a mix of after game interviews and showers happened. you typically would wait for satoru outside the locker rooms, but tonight as the arena grew quieter and quieter you found you kind of preferred this, the chill air and the muffled silence.
or maybe it was just you making it harder for satoru to find you when he was ready to leave, there was no real telling. even so, mei mei sat with you until he did find you, and only then did she get up. "i'm going to grab dinner with geto and some others, let me know if you need me."
you nodded before she left, giving satoru a curt nod before she made her way out of the arena. wordlessly, he moved to sit next to you. neither of you said anything, watching as the ice was cleaned in silence. eventually, you leaned your head over and rested it on his shoulder, your hand reaching out to take hold of one of his. instinctively, his own head rested on top of yours, squeezing your hand tightly like he was afraid to let go of it.
"I'm sorry." "i'm sorry."
you both said at the same time, causing him to let out a soft half-chuckle while you let out a deep sigh. you gave his hand a squeeze, shutting your eyes. "we need to talk but... we should probably go outside. I don't want to hold up everyone trying to clean and leave." he agreed and the two of you untangled from each other, gojo following you up the steps and eventually to the players exit. "I assume you drove?" you ask him and when he nods in confirmation, he leads you to his car. you get in, the familiar smell of leather and the air freshener he liked to use putting you a little more at ease.
he drives off, and you don't ask him where to. you think you know, and as soon as he pulls up to the park you two discovered five years ago you were proven correct. you and gojo had found this park one night when, after far too much sugar, he had insisted you go on a long walk through the city. you had stumbled on this park, hidden away in a quiet part but with the most lovely, well kept flowers.
you had instantly been infatuated with the place, and upon seeing how much your face had lit up when you saw all the different flower varieties, satoru had declared this park to be your place - yours and his. as a silent rule, neither of you ever brought anyone else here, though you had come here on your own several times when you wanted to be alone to think but didn’t want to be cooped up inside; he had done the same.
you wordlessly walk over to the swing set, sitting down on the left side like you always did while he took the right swing. you use your feet to sway back and forth a little, tempted to just start swinging fully to put off the conversation further. but before you can, satoru breaks the silence. “y/n, i’m in love with you.”
you blink, head snapping towards him immediately. “what?” you asked, disbelieving. in all the ways you had imagined this conversation going, satoru telling you he was in love with you right out the gate had never been on the table. “fuck, i didn’t mean to just say it like that,” he fumbled through his words. “i mean, i kind of did. i was planning on telling you tonight but like. i thought we’d have a long conversation first.”
he laughed, though you knew it was his nervous laugh, his face full of worry as you two looked at each other. you blinked at him a couple more times, the shock starting to fade, though your eyes were still wide and you wouldn’t have been surprised if your heart beat right out of your chest right then and now. “i
 i’m in love with you, satoru. i was also planning on telling you tonight.” you paused for just the briefest of seconds, not giving him any sort of time to react.
"that's why I left you at brunch the other week, I was so fucking mad at you. I was very clearly hitting on you and I thought you were reciprocating because you were way more touchy than even you usually are and then you took too long coming back from the bathroom and I was starting to get worried and then I saw you with her satoru, I saw you with rumi." you paused, only to catch your breath, holding your hand up to stop him when he opened his mouth to reply - and to his credit, he shut his mouth immediately.
"you were standing so close to each other and that sounds so stupid to get jealous about but you'd already ditched going to the restaurant opening with me to go with her. because yes while we're confessing things, I was so fucking jealous you went with her. how the fuck did you just forget you and I had made plans? that really fucking hurt, actually. and then you had the audacity to be even a little jealous over me going with choso instead when in reality you should be thanking him because he was, in fact, the main reason I had a good fucking night. and don't start some bullshit about me and him, you know we're just friends. we're both a little too hung up on people who don't care about us."
you let out a choked, bitter laugh. holy shit, your heart was still racing at what couldn't possibly be a healthy rate, and the thought of this conversation going wrong still made you sick, but it also felt good - really fucking good - to get all of this off your chest.
"I know you and kamo are just friends don't worry," satoru interjected, your last words stinging him a little. hung up on people who don't care about you? he cared about you, probably a little too much. he opened his mouth again, this time to defend himself but you beat him too it, your ramblings not finished - now that you'd started you had to get it all out.
"so do you know how absolutely shitty it felt to see you and the woman you ditched me for standing so close, her hand holding on to your arm. and then I saw you kiss her! that's when I left, i clearly had misread what I thought your intentions were and I felt so fucking stupid. and mad. and upset. and hurt." you let out a long breath. "okay, now you may speak."
"jesus..." he muttered under his breath, running a hand over his face. gojo could barely process the fact that you told him you were in love with him too. instead, all he could think was that what he had been worried about had been true: you were mad at him and you had seen him with rumi.
he was such an idiot. he should have put physical distance between him and her when she’d come up to him but the truth was, rumi didn’t mean anything to him. he barely knew her, and so as stupid as it sounded, he simply hadn’t thought anything about the fact that they were standing together so closely, that she had her hand on his arm.
he hadn’t been expecting her to kiss him. fuck, he didn't even know where to start. this wasn't the big romantic speech he'd thought he'd deliver, no instead everything felt like a total fucking disaster. he turned his head to you, reaching out a hand and felt slight relief as you reached back and allowed him to hold your hand.
"first, i'm sorry for all of it. I'm sorry I ditched you to go to the opening with rumi. I felt like shit for doing that to you, it just honestly had slipped my mind." he stopped, shaking his head because his own words sounded pathetic to him. "it wasn't because I don't care about you or I take you for granted. she and I just ended up at the same party and i'd had a few drinks and she brought up going together and I agreed. kind of nice to find out you really were jealous though."
you narrowed your eyes and shot him a look and he widened his eyes, shaking his head again, this time in a panic. "no, no, no that came out wrong. it's just, shit y/n, i've had feelings for you for so long and anytime I came close to telling you, you'd introduce me to a new boyfriend or gush about this new guy you'd bet at a coffee shop. I've just never been sure if you ever saw me the same way."
god, he was royally fucking up, he could feel it. this was his big chance and he was ruining it - he genuinely wasn't sure why he had a reputation for being such a ladies man when he couldn't even get his thoughts out in the right way the one time it mattered the most.
but you gave his hand a gentle squeeze, and he was just relieved that you hadn't dropped his hand immediately. and so he forced himself to press on. "as for brunch? I wanted to go back to your place so bad. I wanted to finally get to kiss you and tell you you're the most beautiful person i've ever met and not only that but the funniest and most patient, the person I feel the most comfortable around. she kissed me. and I know that sounds lame and i'm not trying to excuse it because as soon as I realized what she was doing I should have pulled away immediately. I left her awkwardly as soon as I could."
hadn't been soon enough, he knew now.
"the past two weeks have been killing me, petal. but I didn't want to push you too much, especially since mei mei wouldn't let me in when I tried to see you right after."
you didn't even know what to say. this was all you had ever wanted, to be able to be open and honest about how you feel and to find out that satoru felt the same way. but this was a lot, the revelation that he was in love with you marred by the whole situation with rumi.
"i've had feelings for you for a long time, toru. I just. I was scared to tell you, because I didn't think you felt the same way, and I didn't want to risk losing you." you could feel tears welling up in your eyes, and you tried to wipe them away with your free hand but it was already too late. "fuck."
"hey, hey, come here," satoru gently tugged at your hand as soon as he realized you were trying to not cry and you let him, standing up from the swing and moving towards him. he pulled you down into his lap, arms wrapping protectively around you as he held you to him, pressing a chaste kiss to the side of your head.
"you can cry, petal, it's okay. this is... a lot." there was the best friend you knew, the one you had fallen for. underneath the cocky attitude, the easy grin that signaled to the world that he knew just how talented he was, the stupid jokes that made everyone roll their eyes, satoru gojo was one of the most thoughtful, caring people you had ever met. it wasn't obvious, in fact you knew he went out of his way to put out a persona that would suggest otherwise, but he was someone who was always thinking about other people.
countless times, you'd seen him go out of his way to help people that needed it, to protect those who couldn't protect themselves. though he had made fun of you and awful lot ever since you'd met him, he had never once made you feel bad for crying. the first time he'd caught you crying, you had been hiding out at the playground across the street from school, sobbing your eyes out because a couple of older kids had taken the art project you had worked so hard on and tore it to pieces. they had called you a try hard, and satoru?
he had found them and made them apologize.
and so the two of you sat on the swing, him in the actual seat and you still being held on his lap. you let the silence was over you, silent tears rolling down your face that eventually came to a stop, cheeks drying.
"i'm scared you losing you too, y'know." his confession soft, almost as if he was whispering some sort of prayer to himself. you'd heard him anyway, hands resting on top of his as he held you by the waist. "even if you felt the same way, we could always get together, break up, and never speak again."
it was sort of a relief, the fact that your relationship meant as much to him as it did to you, that he had denied himself the possibility of a chance with you in order to preserve the bond you shared. you weren't quite sure, though, where that left you. you had just told each other that you were in love with the other, and though you both felt significantly more at ease than you had since you'd last seen each other, it didn't exactly feel like a celebration either.
"what... what does this mean for us?" you questioned, hesitant and meek when you wanted to sound strong and sure. "it doesn't feel like jumping right into calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend is the right thing to do. if that was something you even ever wanted to do," you rushed quickly. even though you knew how he felt about you now, there was still a cloud of doubt you couldn't shove away.
just because he was in love with you didn't necessarily mean he wanted to be your boyfriend, right?
"i see i have a lot of reassuring to do..." he teased, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "but i get what you mean." your heart sank a little at his words, even though he was merely agreeing with a sentiment you had voiced first.
"i don't want things to change how they are. like, i don't want us to get all weird around each other or anything. i want us to still be best friends." he hesitated, and you weren't sure if he was second guessing himself or just trying to find the right words to say.
"let me take you on a date. a proper one, not one of the million friend dates we've done." you turned your head up to look at him as soon as he had said "let me take you on a date," butterflies suddenly filling your stomach - you were pretty sure you were going to need at least two days to physically recover from the emotional roller coaster you were currently on.
you opened your mouth to reply before shutting it again. you wanted to ask satoru a million questions, to poke and prod until he admitted this was all a terrible joke. but instead of voicing any doubt and insecurity that tried to dominate your thoughts, you simply said "okay."
which brough a genuine smile to his lips before he leaned down and pressed another kiss to you, this time to your forehead.
eventually, he took you home. the two of you mixed filling each other in on what had been going on in both your lives for the past two weeks with talk about where you two stood now.
you had settled on this: nothing was changing between you two, except for the fact that you were both finally being honest about your feelings. satoru was going to take you on a date and, hopefully, keep taking you on dates until you both felt it was the right time for your relationship progress. neither of you had expressed the worry on your minds, the "if our relationship progresses." that was a worry for another day.
gojo had insisted on walking you up to your apartment door, leaving you with a goodnight kiss on the cheek. and now that you were home and alone, as you started your nighttime routine you started to accept that maybe, just maybe, things were going to work out.
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a/n: i rambled a little too much but these fools (me) always have sm to say!! things are turning around for now for gojo and reader, but we'll see if it stays that way... any thoughts/comments are always appreciated!!
taglist: open @basicallyjeankirschtein @therealanxiety @angelina7890 @starmapz @raquel12 @kittyyyyykats
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justanothermemestrider · 3 days ago
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Nothing Ever Stays Dead - Part 1
Gadriel x Childhood Friend OC
Inspired by @beckyninja ' Titus x Reader fics and @hatsubara-8chan' s Titus x Theia art. Thank you guys for giving me the confidence and inspiration to finally do something with my own oc :)
I know x reader stuff is my forte, but it would mean so much if you guys checked this series out too. It was super fun to write and I think you all will really enjoy it.
As always, apologies for grammar and spelling mistakes. While this part is sfw, some future parts will be nsfw but I'll note that up the top. Typical 40kness and violence, also I've just gone and made up an entire og backstory for Gadriel lol.
Hope you guys enjoy! And thank you so much for reading xoxox
Love, Memestrider :)
Ellicent sobbed into his shoulder, soaking his collar and staining it dark. She'd been like this for ages; she didn't know how many, but it was enough that the grimy windows in front of them had darkened to black slabs with the disappearance of the sun and rolling in of night. She felt embarrassed by it. Ashamed. Kids down here lost their parents all the time, and her Dad had been sick for a long time. Knowing that should've made it easier, but it didn't. Her heart was still shattered. Her soul split in half by a stake of grief and anguish. She sobbed like a baby. Like a weak thing that the Underhive should and would eat alive.
But he didn't seem to mind.
His grip was as gentle as it was tight, as if he were trying to wring the sadness from her very being. He stroked her hair, rubbed her back, let her hide her face in the crook of his neck.
"I'm sorry, Ellie," he said. He'd said it many times before, but this one was no less genuine or earnest. Ellicent's throat ached too much to reply, so she only shook her head.Tentatively, he drew away from her. Not enough to break their embrace all together: just enough so he could look her in the eye.
"You know we have to leave him here, right?"
Swallowing another sob, Ellicent nodded. Down here, there were no medical services or law enforcement to collect the dead: there were only scavengers and cannibals. They'd find her Dad eventually, but if they kept her Dad in here, he might stay safe for a little longer.
"I know," she said. "But... but what about me? I can't- I can't stay here."He answered without hesitation or thought. "You can come stay with me."
"Wha- what?"
"I know Mum will let you. And if she says no, I'll make her. But she won't say no. I know she won't."
A dozen questions sat on Ellicent's tongue, but she was either too tired or too sad to ask. Sinking into his arms again, she wiped her eyes on his shoulder. "Okay."
"It'll be okay, Ellie. I promise, it'll be okay." Ellicent closed her eyes.
"Thank you, Gadriel," she whispered.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Remind me," Chairon says, using the box so he could be heard over the rumble of the Thunderhawk. "Which xenos is our target supposedly allied with?"
Gadriel checks the slide of his bolter for the umpteenth time.
"The dark eldar," he replies. "Specifically, the pack that has made this planet their favoured hunting ground."
"What about the necrons?"
"What about them?"
"Did the briefing not state that Severus' gang often makes use of necron technology?"
"It did," Gadriel says. "But that technology is stolen. Pillaged from only the Emperor knows where."
Through the static of the vox, Chairon's scowl sounds particularly vicious. "Damned heretics. Have they no pride or dignity to speak of at all?"
"Of course they don't."
Gadriel looks to his left where Titus sits beside him. Like his and Chairon's, the face of the lieutenant's helm is cast as a mouthless, red eyed glare. Somehow, though, Titus' glare appears even more intimidating.
"Creatures like Severus are among the worst kind of heretic," he says. "Chaos can corrupt the unwilling. Mutancy can affect the innocent. But to work with the alien? To turn one's back on their own species? That is a choice. One that is made willingly, without coercion or subterfuge.
"An uneasy silence settles across the vox. For a long while, the only sound comes from the roar of the Thunderhawk's engine and the collective of the three Astartes' power armour. Eventually, Gadriel is the one to break it by clearing his throat.
"Forgive me for saying so, sir. But, it sounds as if you speak from experience."
Titus turns his head towards Gadriel. The dim bar lights lining the Thunderhawk's interior reflect sharply off the golden laurels welded around his helmet's crown.
"You remain as sharp as ever, brother," the lieutenant remarks. "And you would be right. Severus' gang is not the first group of xenos collaborators I've encountered."
He pauses for a second. "As I said, they are the worst kind of heretic. Worse than political dissenters or atheist zealots. By a long, long way."
Silence falls once more. This time, however, it is morose. Sober. Behind his helmet, Gadriel chews the inside of his cheek in thought. It's a habit he's had ever since he was a boy- one so innate, not even Astartes re-education could snuff it out. He's reviewing the mission briefing in his head. Specifically, the intelligence regarding their target. Archibald Severus- a rogue trader turned planetary crime lord. Typically, such a man would not be a concern for the Astartes- such things were usually handled by the Inquisition alone. But Severus has been particularly problematic; almost all of his people wield necron weaponry and his Drukhari allies have all but brought the planet to its knees. Also, the Ultramarines just so happened to be in the area. Fortunate for the people who live here, though not so much for Severus. The last thought amuses Gadriel enough to make him smile. Yes. Very unfortunate for him indeed.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Thunderhawk drops the fireteam amidst the exterior district of a hive city. The street upon which it lands is wide, dusty and long abandoned. Blade and plasma scars line the walls of every surrounding building, reminders of the countless dark eldar attacks the city has endured over Severus' tenure here. The Astartes quite literally hit the ground running. Bolters in hand, their objective's location marker pulsing in the top centre of their heads up displays. The objective in question is a warehouse- once a hangar for Imperial Guard aircraft, now just as abandoned as the rest of the district. Severus will supposedly be there, though the exact reasons why are unknown. But that doesn't matter to Gadriel. If the man is there, he will die. As surely as the blood of the Primarch flows through Gadriel's veins, that traitorous xenos-sellout will die.
The warehouse in question emerges from around the next street corner. It looks like a giant concrete brick dropped in the middle of the district block. Gadriel falls in behind his brothers, covering the rear while Titus leads the way and Chairon covers their flanks from the centre. But the area is empty. As if the entire district had been evacuated or disappeared. Considering what this place has endured over the last several years, that is probably not far from the truth.
"Gadriel," Titus says over the vox, breaking Gadriel's reverie. "Auspex."
The team halts against a nearby wall. The warehouse is now directly in front of them. Moving in perfect unison, Gadriel switches position with Chairon. He sidles up beside Titus, takes one hand off his bolter to extract the Auspex scanner clasped to his belt. He holds the device up and studies the screen for several seconds.
"Motion detected," he reports. "Ten hostiles, one hundred and fifty metres ahead. Baseline, by the sizes of the pulse."
"One must be Severus," Chairon says.
"Hopefully," Gadriel replies.
"But not certainly," Titus says. The lieutenant says nothing more, but Gadriel hears his unspoken order nonetheless: maintain your guard.
Despite their size and weight, the Astartes move like panthers on the prowl. As it is still light outside, they stick to the shadows where they can. Reaching one of the warehouse's walls, the fireteam lines up, Gadriel in front with time with Titus and Chairon covering him.
"We will breach the wall here," Titus says. "Overwhelm them with speed and surprise."
Chairon and Gadriel both acknowledge the order with a curt "yes sir". Internally, however, Gadriel is somewhat amused by Titus' choice in tactics. *One would be forgiven for thinking we were White Scars. All we're missing are the jet bikes.*
Chairon moves in between his brothers. He holster his bolter to his hip before reaching for his belt and extracting a fist-sized breaching charge. He plants the explosive on the wall, primes it with a button press, then motions for Titus and Gadriel to stand clear. Gadriel crouches down on one knee. His secondary heart joins his primary in beating, flooding his body with adrenaline. He looks between his brothers. Both give him nods of acknowledgement. Chairon touches his forearm, ready to activate the charge. As his fingertip brushes the button, however, Gadriel's Auspex let's out a chime.
"Hold," Gadriel says before pulling up the scanner. He furrow his eyebrows in confusion.
"What is it?" Titus asks.
"The Auspex has changed. All but one of the pulses have vanished."
"Vanished?" Chairon asks.
"That's what I said."
"But how?"
"I do not know."
"It matters not," Titus growls. "Chairon, blow the charge n-"
Before he can finish giving the order, the wall explodes on its own.
The shockwave slams into Gadriel with the force of a meteorite. It throws him backward, knocking him off his feet, sending him rolling over his side before landing on flat on his front. All three of his lungs are emptied of air and his ears ring as if glass were being shattered inside his skull. Gadriel ignores it all. Recovering his footing with staggering ease before raising his bolter in the direction of the enemy.
Only he can see nothing. Just the charred concrete debris at his feet and a wall of thick black smoke. Even through his helmet's filters, the smell of it is choking. Like the polluted air of an Underhive amplified and condensed. Gadriel clenches his jaw.
A gas grenade. Only it exploded with the force of a breaching charge.
It has to be Severus. He must have known they were coming, that they were there. Gadriel curses to himself.
We were too loud. Too forward. Not cautious enough...
"Brothers! Status!" Titus' voice crackles over the vox. Gadriel whips around to try and find the lieutenant, but the damned smoke is too opaque. "Alive and unharmed," Gadriel hisses. "But can't see a damn thing."
"Acknowledged." By contrast, Titus' voice is calm and level. "Chairon? What's your status?"
No reply. A fury like fire ignites in Gadriel's chest. "Brother!" he shouts. "Are you there? Tell us where you are!"
A flash of light catches his peripheral vision. Gadriel spins to face it, snapping his bolter sights up as he does. It's small, but sustained, growing in luminosity with every second. But that isn't what makes Gadriel's breath hitch. It's the colour. A shocking, neon green. Too vivid to be natural, too bright to be electronic.
Gadriel's eyes widen. His thoughts scream a single, terrible name.
Necrons.
With an plasmic screech, the particle beam blazes towards him. It aims for his chest, right over his primary heart. Gadriel manages to twist out of the way in time, but not before the beams edge grazes the top of the aquillia on his breastplate. Gadriel aims his bolter in the direction the green light, only for it to vanish as he opens fire.
"Contact!" he shouts down the vox to Titus. "Necron weaponry confirmed!"
The light reappears on his left. Much closer than before. Gadriel fires upon it and he hears his bolter round sing as they slam into alien metal. He dive-rolls to the side, anticipating another particle beam. But no such shot comes. Instead, the light swells. Growing from a dot to a long, curved streak.
"Throne!" Gadriel hisses. Throwing his bolter into the holster on his thigh, he draws his power sword. Just in time to parry the crackling, green energy blade that comes careening towards his head. Both weapons spark and hiss when they make contact. Faster than a blinking eye, Gadriel surges forwards to slash at the arm holding the necron blade. But his opponent is quicker. Smoke swirling about them, they duck his attack before launching a kick at his knee. Pain spikes through Gadriel's leg and he feels his balance slip. It surprises him. There aren't many things that can kick out an armoured Astartes' knee.
A necron warrior, though, is definately one of them.
The energy blade comes for his head again. Gadriel throws his chin up to avoid it, but in the process looses what little balance he has left. He lands on his back hard, grunting as the last of the air in his lungs is forced out by the impact. In the same instant, his opponent is on top of him. Erupting from the smoke like a daemon from the Warp pinning him down by crouching on his breastplate.
Now close enough to see them through the smoke, Gadriel lays eyes on his attacker for the first time. What he sees, he can only describe as abominable. At first glance, they are human- female, from her shape and build- clad in tattered, studded leather characteristic of those from an Underhive. Her hair is a stunning shade of scarlet and she has it up in a pony tail so long it flows behind her like a cape of ribbons. But that is where all semblance of her humanity ends. Instead of a left arm, she has a robotic appendage, the clawed, green-veined forelimb of a necron warrior, with a green plasma blade bursting from its knuckles. The same is true of her right leg, the foot of which is pressed savagely into Gadriel's chest, strong enough to keep the Astartes pinned. A necron rifle- the source of the particle beams, surely- hangs from a strap looped across her back.
Hatred contorts Gadriel's face into a snarl. Abandoning his power sword he reaches for his bolter, which is still holstered to his thigh. Wrenching the weapon free, he throws it up just as the cyborg-abomination above him raises her energy blade. Her face, too, is twisted into a snarl.
Time suddenly slows. Gadriel's finger stops shy of the trigger.
Her face...
Hatred turns to confusion turn to shock. His thoughts are a racing, jumbled mess. His mouth opens without him realising and he hears his own voice. It speaks a name he hasn't heard in over fifty years.
"... Ellie?"
The cyborg freezes. The snarl on her lips dies.
"G- Gadriel?"
Both of Gadriel's hearts stop. His mind is simultaneously paralysed and raging like a warpstorm. His bolter falls from his hand, clattering off his breastplate to land beside him. Gadriel doesn't even notice.
"Sergeant!" a voice bellows over the vox.
Sparks suddenly burst from the woman's back. As quickly as it had vanished her snarl returns. Leaping off Gadriel, she whips around. Her energy blade retracts into her arm and she reaches for her rifle. Gadriel turns his head to see Titus charging for them with his bolter raised.
The woman hesitates. Glances at Gadriel. Behind his visor, Gadriel meets her gaze. His eyes become wide and watery.
It can't be.
More of Titus' rounds slam into her, this time pinging off her necronian arm. She staggers backward, dropping her rifle so it's swinging limp against her hip. Another moment of hesitation. Gadriel opens his mouth to call her name again. But before the word can leave his lips, she's moving again. Turning her back and vanishing into the smoke screen. When it finally fades, there is no sign of her. Not even a drop of blood.
Gadriel swallow thickly. A lump has formed in his throat, large enough to make it difficult for him to breathe.
"Brother!" Titus clasps his arm, hauling Gadriel up into a sitting position. "Are you alright? Are you wounded?"
Gadriel says nothing. He doesn't remember how to speak. Nor can he even see his brother kneeling beside him. The only thing his mind can see is her. The day her father died. The day on the rooftop. The night they had spent together in her bed.
"Promise me you'll come back."
"I promise."
"I love you."
"I-"
"Brother?" The concern in Titus' voice is palpable now. "Gadriel. Can you hear me?"
Gadriel finally looks at the lieutenant. He nods, but still refuses to speak. He doesn't trust himself to. He's afraid that if he did, he might start to weep.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
That's it! I hope you liked it! The first part of any story is always kinda slow, since you gotta set everything up, but I tried my best to keep things moving fast-like.
Thank you again for reading xoxoxoxo
Part 2 will be up in a few days probably. Hopefully I'll see you all then :)
Update: pssst, you can read part 2 here!
Tag list: @yurihasurunbara @beckyninja @nereidof40k @hatsubara-8chan @moodymisty @solspina @jaghatai-khock @lemon-russ @wolf-feathers12 @egrets-not-regrets
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always-outlander · 3 days ago
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Cracks in the Armor - William's unseen trust in Jamie
Over on TikTok, I received a comment from a follower insinuating that William must trust Jamie if he asks for his help with Jane and her sister, Fanny at the end of season 7.
I wanted to reply with a long-form explanation because there is an interesting passage in ‘Go Tell the Bees’ that leans into this idea of William not necessarily realizing his trust in Jamie until later on.
But first, I need to remind everyone of the differences between the book and the show when it comes to Jane's death. In Chapter 134 of ‘Written in My Own Hearts Blood,’ Jane’s burial scene takes place in Savannah, GA. Jane’s body is retrieved for Fanny and her burial is arranged with the help of Lord John Grey, not Jamie. John knows a family with a small private cemetery where Jane can be buried. To take one's own life is a sin, and so she cannot be buried in a churchyard. Jamie grapples with this in the books and he prays for Jane’s soul multiple times, despite his faith saying he shouldn’t.
At such time, John also has a conversation with Claire, where he learns that William sought out Jamie’s help. He had thought that William might but hoped he wouldn’t for both their sakes. When Claire asks where William is now, John tells her that he has left on an errand outside of the city and will return that night. 
John tells Claire to plan for the burial to take place the next morning, early, and Clare tells John about Ezekiel Richardson. In the books, he had recently paid a visit to Claire in her surgery in Savannah and asked Claire to spy on John and his family. This scene takes place earlier in the show while Claire is married to John.
Claire warns John that Richardson is with the Continental Army, and that [Richardson] “knows about you, what you are, I mean.” John asks Claire if she has any idea of how he came into the information and she does not.
The next day at the burial, William stands at the entrance to the cemetery while the rest of the group carries out the burial services. John is there, along with Jenny Murray, Marsali, Fergus, and their children, Rachel, Ian, and Fanny. This scene also takes place after Marsali and Fergus lose Henri-Christian, so it is a very sad moment for everyone in the books.
This chapter takes place in Claire’s POV, and she spots William holding the reigns of a very large horse, whose name is Miranda. He presents it to Fanny and tells her that it is hers now and that she ‘will need her.’ William looks up at Claire and asks “Will you look after her, mother Claire?” and Claire says of course they will.
Jamie and William have the talk about Geneva that we see on the TV series a day or so later before William leaves Savannah. It takes place on the docks where Jamie is working, and William does not say “I will never call you father” during that scene. In large part, I believe this to be a plot device used for a payoff in season 8 where William does call him father. 
In Chapter 12 of Go Tell the Bees, William is at Mount Josiah plantation in Virginia and is paid a visit by a man named John Cinnamon, and Manoke, the Indian Scout from Quebec that Lord John Grey told Claire about in their morning after scene. William is still in the midst of his crisis of identity and doesn’t know if he will stay at Mount Josiah or not. He wants to find out what is happening with his cousin Benjamin Grey. Ben had been reported dead of goal fever in New Jersey. This is later disproved when William discovers his grave and determines that the man in the grave is not Ben. 
William begins to think about how to make things right in his life before going on the quest to find Ben. He thinks about Rachel and Ian, and how nothing can be fixed between him and Rachel now that she is married. Then he thinks of Jane, and how that situation cannot be fixed (or removed from his memory).
Neither can his true paternity. After spending the night with Jamie on their mission to rescue Jane, there was no possible way for William to deny the truth.
He recalls Jamie telling him “Ye’ve a claim to my help for any venture ye deem worthy,” and how Fraser did help, at once and without question. Not just for Jane but also for her little sister, Francis.
There’s a lovely passage in Chapter 12 of Bee’s where William recalls Jane’s funeral, where he was unable to speak and full of grief. He had thrust Francis into Fraser’s arms and walked off, and William wonders why he had done that. He could have had Lord John help Francis, he was there, but William hadn’t even thought about giving her to John.
‘No. No, I am not sorry’ echoes in William’s ears and he recalls the touch of Jamie’s hand on his cheek. William chokes on his fish, coughs, and chokes again before the thoughts leave his mind.
I always interpret this scene as the first sort of crack in the armor for William. As he continues to have anxiety over who he is and the obligations that come with that, it is at this moment when he thinks of Jamie that provides clarity on the scene between them in the season seven finale. The show’s use of the line “I will never call you father” makes us believe that William has no appreciation for Jamie, but we can see in the books that he might be starting to view Jamie differently after all. 
What are your thoughts on William and Jamie’s final scene together in season 7?
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marifilue · 1 day ago
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Part 10: What Remained Of Us
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Pairing: Logan Howlett x F!Mutant!Reader - Slow burn, no use of y/n.
Warnings: Violence, Angst, Mature content
Word count: 24.8k
A/N: This turned out to be longer than I intended because I really wanted to give these two a proper goodbye. Apologies for taking more time than usual, and thank you for reading this final part. I've written 92k words which is roughly 300 pages for this fic series, so enjoy! :D
What Makes Us Human Completed
<- Part 9
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Einstein was right about his theory of relativity, not that you were the biggest fan of physics class back then, but sure, you caught a thing or two. The past three weeks had felt like the longest you’d ever experienced. Since that collar was... Wow, you can't believe you could say it in a past tense now. Since that collar was restraining your ability, three weeks had felt like a three goddamn shitty years.
You didn’t even feel that way when you were nothing more than a servant to the military. Back then, the concept of time blurred as you grew strangely fond of your well, forced mutation. As much as you despised the idea, you’d made peace with yourself, the ability is cool as fuck. You’ve had it for twenty eight years now yes, you counted. Twenty eight years is longer than the age you received those injections: twenty seven.
Back to that theory of relativity, one you could actually apply right now, in your daily life. You swore the clock was lying when you glanced at the table to check the time, how many hours had you spent with Logan on this bed? The two of you had agreed to clean up together after this mess—the one both of you, but particularly him, had made. Yet, you kept saying, “Five more minutes,” as you lay there, cuddled in his arms, skin to skin.
Both of your naked bodies were tucked under the warmth of the blanket. His left arm served as your human pillow, while his right hand roamed over your body, tracing circles with his fingers. Your right hand never left the toned muscles of his abs. You’d had your intrusive thoughts about licking them earlier—which he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, judging by his expression, he enjoyed it. That look on his face would never leave your mind, and it made you smiled to imagined it again, as your fingers trailed down his happy trail. Only after that blissful moment, which felt like heaven on earth, did you finally glance at the clock. It was already dark outside, but seriously—eight p.m.?
"Shit, it’s eight." Your head whipped from the clock back to Logan.
He let out a weak chuckle. "Still wanna shower?"
You shrugged, letting your palm glide over the popped veins on his bicep. Good god, he really was a sight. For a guy who’d been around since forever, he definitely hadn’t wasted a second of it achieving this every man's dream physique.
Before you could answer, not wanting to pass the chance to shower with his Greek marble statue-like figure, a muffled knock echoes from the hall. The sound is faint, making it clear it didn’t come from your room’s door, you assume it’s Logan’s room, across from yours.
You glance toward your door, pulling the blanket higher over the two of you. “Looks like you’ve got company.”
Logan continues to squeeze your waist gently, as if he could reassure you. “Probably Marie. Kid can’t breathe five minutes without seein' me.”
You let out a low chuckle, knowing that despite the joke, the two of them have grown attached to each other. You can’t help but think Marie might have a little crush on him, but you don’t really see that as a problem. She’s a teenage girl, and Logan found her during a hard time, like a savior kinda way. It’s a pretty reasonable feeling for her to have.
Still, you can see Logan loves her like she’s one of his own, like a daughter. Damn, he’d make a great father, you think to yourself.
But then, a voice pulled you out of your thoughts about Logan—a voice you’d become all too familiar with.
"Logan? I’m coming in." Ororo voice faint.
The steps faltered as the door handle jiggled, only to stop short. You glanced up at Logan, sharing a silent, mutual hope. This was kind of a fucked-up situation. Shit.
Thank god you’d insisted Logan lock the door.
"That’s new," Logan muttered, more to himself than to you.
You clutched him tighter, shrinking into his warmth as if trying to make yourself as small as possible. Other thoughts began creeping into your mind now, like how the team would react to this. You and Logan? Nobody could’ve seen this coming.
The two of you didn’t say a word—not that it felt awkward. In fact, it was comfortable, really. Such a safe feeling, one you hadn’t realized you’d been longing for all this time.
Then the silence broke with the one thing you dreaded most at that moment: a knock. And it wasn’t just any knock—it was on your door now.
Shit, shit, shit.
You straightened up immediately, your body tensing as if facing an active threat. Ororo called your name, her voice loud and clear.
Instinctively, you whispered to Logan, "Go! To the bathroom, now." He half-frowned in response, clearly taken aback by the sudden secret-affair role he didn’t remember signing up for.
"Why?" he asked, with the audacity to question you in this situation. You shot him a look.
"It’s Ororo!" you whispered harshly, your tone low but not lacking bite. "The door opens straight this way—she’s gonna see you. C’mon, chop chop, mutton chops." You chuckled softly at your own words. God, you hadn’t called him that in what felt like ages.
Another knock came, firmer this time, followed by Ororo’s voice, clearer and more insistent. "I can hear you in there. Open the door."
You didn’t miss the way he rolled his eyes, accompanied by that signature grunt of his. Was he really going to risk everything by staying in your bed for Ororo to see? Dear god, you had a reputation to uphold here.
When he didn’t move fast enough, you gave his body a shove, forcing him to get up. Standing, you pointed firmly toward the bathroom. He picks up his clothes and walked as if it was the heaviest task in the world, each step deliberate and slow.
Meanwhile, you scrambled to pick up your panties from the end of the bed and your shirt from the floor, throwing them on to look at least somewhat appropriate. Pacing toward the door, you took a deep breath, preparing yourself for whatever came next.
Now standing in front of your door, you glanced back at Logan—he hadn’t even reached the bathroom yet. "Close the door, c’mon, faster!" you whispered urgently, not even sure if he’d hear you. Finally, he walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.
Your focus shifted back to the door. With a sigh, you unlocked it and opened it halfway.
Ororo’s expression immediately shifted from irritated to slightly shocked. She lets out a small gasps, her jaw dropping before she quickly covered it with her palm.
You raised your eyebrows, smiling awkwardly. "Ro?" you asked, clearly puzzled by her sudden reaction.
She scoffed, then broke into the widest smile you’d ever seen. "The collar!"
The realization hit you as your hand instinctively went to your neck, your fingers brushing against bare skin. It was a feeling you hadn’t taken the time to savor, too busy savoring Logan earlier.
"Yeah, Hank figured it out," you said softly, a small smile pulling at the corner of your lips.
Ororo stepped forward, her joy radiating as she wrapped her arms around your neck. Dear god, you hoped she wouldn’t mind the sweat on you, or the lingering smell. You returned the hug, wrapping your arms around her back.
As she briefly opened her eyes, her gaze landed on the mess of your bed. Her eyebrows furrowed slightly, but she said nothing. It definitely wasn’t her business—but judging by the faint shift in her expression, she could’ve guessed.
She pulled back, flashing another wide smile, her shining teeth on full display. "I thought Hank was messing with me," she said, her hands lingering on your shoulders before letting go completely.
"He did a really great job. I couldn’t be more thankful," you replied, smiling.
Ororo’s gaze softened briefly before she glanced around the room. "Where’s Logan, by the way?"
Panic hit you like a freight train, and without thinking, you blurted, "I haven’t seen him all day."
The lie spilled out so suddenly that it caught even you off guard. Ororo furrowed her brows, her head tilting slightly. "That’s strange. Hank told me he gave the chip to Logan to unlock your collar," she explained, her eyes narrowing slightly in suspicion.
You clicked your tongue, realizing you’d been caught red-handed. "Right, of course," you stammered, quickly pointing a finger at Ororo. "Sorry, I just woke up. He did bring the chip to unlock the collar, but then he left."
You were doubling down now, lying even more. Ororo’s expression tightened—she wasn’t buying it.
"Alright then," she said, clearly unconvinced but choosing not to press further. "Anyway, the Professor left for another conference. Scott thought it’d be great for us to hang out—just at the bar down the street. I’m heading there with Jean and Hank. You wanna come? We can ask Logan to look after the kids. It’s Friday night, after all."
Your response came a little too cheerful, the faux excitement evident even to yourself. "That would be great!" you chirped.
"I know, right? We'll just have to find Logan first" she said, her tone bright.
You chuckled nervously. "But I can’t," you said, shaking your head.
Ororo blinked, taken aback. "Why? Come on, you deserve it."
You nodded with a soft smile. "Yeah, don't worry about me you guys have fun. I’ll stay and look after the kids. Besides, Logan’s nowhere to be found, and I’m just feelin a bit tired, s’all." You placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, hoping to ease her concern.
Though your excuse was flimsy, Ororo relented with a sigh. "Fine, but I’ll bring you something, don’t worry."
You smiled again, leaning slightly toward the door, hoping she’d leave soon. "I’m counting on it," you said with a light chuckle.
As Ororo turned back and disappeared down the hallway toward the stairs, you finally closed the door and leaned against it.
Letting out a heavy sigh, you glanced at the bathroom door. You’d just hidden Logan—from Ororo—in your room.
You walked toward the bathroom door, reaching for the handle. When you pressed it, it didn’t click open—Logan had locked it from the inside.
"Logan?" you called, but there was no answer.
"They’re going out to the bar. You can join them if you want to," you said, raising your voice slightly toward the door. What the hell was he doing in there? You knocked again, this time with a little more force, guessing he hadn’t heard you the first time—but that didn’t seem possible.
"Logan? Open the door," you said, your tone firmer now.
Inside the small bathroom, Logan was already pulling on the jeans he’d picked up from the floor earlier. His shirt rested by the sink, forgotten for the moment as he stared at his own reflection—specifically, his eyes. What the hell was going on with him?
It wasn’t exactly the first time a woman had hidden him. Hell, once, he’d even been stashed in a wardrobe. He had a reputation for getting involved with women already in relationships. He’d even eyed Jean a few times when he first settled into the mansion.
But it had always been just a stupid fling to him—something meaningless. He didn’t care. He never did. At least, not until now. What had changed?
You?
Seriously?
He frowned, running a hand through his hair, trying to shake the thought loose. He felt embarrassed.
You weren’t even in a relationship—there was supposedly no reason for you to hide him. At least, not in his logic. Why’d you have to hide him like that? Were you embarrassed?
It shouldn’t be that big of a deal. You were both adults, and so was Ororo. It wasn’t something to be ashamed of... right? Still, the knot in his chest refused to loosen.
Then a thought hit him, one so obvious it almost made him feel stupid for not realizing it sooner. He didn’t actually know if you were in a relationship or not.
The realization stopped him cold. He’d never asked. You’d never mentioned anything. For all he knew, there could be someone else in your life.
The idea gnawed at him, an unexpected twist of jealousy and unease stirring in his gut. Should he ask? Right now, while you were still outside the door knocking and calling his name?
Hell yes, he should. At least then, he’d know.
But then again, did he really want to hear the answer? What if it was something he didn’t want to deal with? What if it changed everything?
He let out a frustrated grunt, running a hand through his hair. His reflection in the mirror stared back, eyes conflicted and filled with questions he didn’t have answers to.
"Shit," he muttered under his breath. His attention shifted when something on the floor caught his eye.
A delicate gold necklace with a red heart-shaped pendant lay near his feet, gleaming faintly in the light. His brow furrowed as he crouched to pick it up, holding it carefully between his fingers. For a moment, he studied it, his thumb brushing over the smooth surface of the pendant.
The knock on the door snapped him out of his thoughts. Without a second glance, Logan slid the necklace into the pocket of his jeans and turned toward the door.
"Logan?" you called again, your voice edged with concern. "What are you doing?"
He ran a hand over his face, sighing deeply before finally making a move toward the door.
The door suddenly creaked open, and there he was, standing in the doorway, shirtless displaying full muscles, jeans hanging low on his hips. Logan’s expression was unreadable, though the faint furrow of his brow hinted at something simmering beneath the surface.
His eyes locked on yours with an intensity that made you freeze mid-knock, your hand still hovering in the air. You opened your mouth to ask what was going on, but he beat you to it.
“You seein' someone?” he asked, his tone gruff, low, and uncharacteristically direct.
The question knocked the air right out of you. For a moment, you just stared at him, trying to process what he’d just said—and why the hell he was asking.
“What?” you managed, blinking.
“You heard me.” His eyes searched yours, his jaw set tight. “You got someone in your life or not?”
It wasn’t the question itself that unsettled you, honestly? A reasonable one to ask someone you just had sex with, well. But it was the way he asked it. His voice carried something raw, like he wasn’t just casually curious. Like the answer mattered to him in a way that didn’t quite make sense.
Your lips parted to respond, but no words came out. Instead, you studied his face, the lines around his mouth, the tension in his shoulders. Something had clearly gotten to him, but the reasons behind it were a mystery you couldn’t crack. Was this about Ororo catching him here? Or
 was it about something else entirely?
“I don’t
 I don’t have anyone,” you finally said, your voice slower, more deliberate. “Why suddenly ask?”
He didn’t flinch, but the shift in his posture was subtle. He leaned against the doorframe, one arm braced against it, his knuckles white. His eyes narrowed slightly, though not in anger.
“I don’t get it,” he said, his tone clipped. “You hid me in here. Why?”
Your heart skipped a beat. The way he phrased it, the accusation buried in his words, made your stomach twist. “I didn’t want Ororo to see you because I didn’t feel like explaining. S'all.”
“Explaining what?” he shot back, his voice sharper now.
“That you were in my room!” you snapped, frustration spilling over. “Do you have any idea how that would’ve looked?”
“And why do you care if it would look like anything?” he asked, stepping closer. “Why do you care so damn much what she thinks?”
You took a step back, suddenly feeling cornered even though he hadn’t raised his voice. His presence was overwhelming, and his words, his questions—they all felt like a trap you hadn’t prepared for.
“I don’t know,” you said, throwing up your hands. “I just didn’t want her to think
 I don’t know! That we’re
 involved or something. God, this is ridiculous. What is wrong with you?”
His jaw tightened, his eyes dark and stormy as they bore into yours. For a moment, you thought he might actually say something real, something honest. But instead, he straightened up, stepping back toward the bathroom.
“Doesn’t matter,” he muttered, his voice quieter now, but still laced with tension. “Forget I asked.”
“Forget you—Logan, what the hell?” you demanded, but he was already turning away.
“Drop it,” he said firmly, grabbing his shirt from the sink and pulling it over his head in one swift motion.
You stood there, stunned, as he brushed past you and headed toward the door. You should’ve let him go. You should’ve let it slide. But something about the way he asked—that vulnerability buried beneath all the bravado—stuck with you.
“Logan,” you called, your voice softer now, but he didn’t stop. He didn’t even turn around.
The door slammed shut behind Logan, the sound echoing in the quiet room and leaving you rooted to the spot, staring at the space he’d just occupied. Your heart pounded in your chest, not from fear or shock, but from sheer frustration.
What the fuck was that?
You try to make sense of the whirlwind that had just stormed through your room. He had the audacity to grill you about your personal life, and then shut down without so much as an explanation? It was infuriating. But then again, wasn’t that just Logan? Always halfway out the door before you could get a real answer, always keeping people at arm’s length.
Fine. Let him brood. You weren’t going to waste your energy trying to figure him out.
The clock on your nightstand read 8:12 PM. Scott, Ororo, Jean, and Hank had definitely left for the bar, excited for a rare night out. You’ve waved Ororo off, claiming you weren’t in the mood. Now, standing alone in your room, you regretted it. At least at the bar, you’d have a distraction.
Instead, you were here, stewing over Logan.
With a heavy sigh, you pushed yourself to move. Stressing around mulling over his cryptic nonsense wasn’t going to get you anywhere. You grabbed a fresh change of clothes and headed for the bathroom, letting the sound of running water drown out your thoughts. By the time you’d finished cleaning up and pulling yourself together, it was close to nine.
You sit down on the edge of the windowsill, propping one foot up as you tighten the final knot of your shoelace. The sunlight filters through the glass, casting soft patterns on the floor. As you lean back slightly, adjusting the fit of your shoe, your gaze falls on the unlocked collar resting nearby.
For a moment, you just stare at it, the light glinting off its cold, unyielding surface. A wave of melancholy washes over you, pulling you into a haze of memories you’d rather forget. Slowly, you reach out and trace your fingertips along the thick metal, its weight almost tangible even without wearing it.
A short, bitter chuckle escapes your lips, breaking the silence. Without warning, you grab the collar and slam it against the concrete edge of the windowsill. The sharp clang echoes through the room, and with enough force, the metal bends slightly. You strike it again and again, as if each blow might break more than just steel.
When the anger subsides, you toss the collar onto the floor, standing over it for a moment. Then, with a final stomp, you turn away, leaving it behind as you step out the door.
You wandered the halls of the mansion, your footsteps light on the wooden floors. Few of the kids were settled for the night, and the usual buzz of activity had quieted down. As you passed the TV room, you caught sight of Logan sitting on the couch, surrounded by a few of the younger kids.
They were watching some old action movie, the screen’s glow casting sharp shadows across Logan’s face. He looked calm, almost relaxed, the gruff tension from earlier smoothed over like it had never existed. He didn’t even glance your way until you moved to leave, your quiet presence catching his attention at the last second.
Finding your usual corner, you pulled a book from the shelf and settled into one of the chairs. You let the silence wrap around you, doing your best to push Logan—and all the tangled emotions he seemed to stir—out of your mind.
His eyes was on you as you turned and walked away and you didn’t stop.
Instead, you headed to the library. The heavy wooden doors creaked slightly as you pushed them open, the familiar scent of books and aged paper washing over you. The quiet here was different—soothing, intentional. You let out a long breath as you stepped inside, your tension easing slightly as the door clicked shut behind you.
As you turned the pages of your chosen book tonight, seated in the most comfortable chair the library had to offer, a loud commotion broke your concentration. The rhythmic patter of children’s hurried footsteps echoed through the halls, accompanied by frantic voices. Your immersion in the world of Wuthering Heights shattered, pulling you back into reality. It was nearly ten o’clock—far past curfew. What on earth was going on?
Curiosity pricked at you, and with a reluctant sigh, you closed the book, setting it carefully on the side table. Rising from your chair, you walked toward the source of the noise.
Outside the library, the chaos unfolded before your eyes. A crowd of panicked children filled the hallway, their anxiety palpable. The swarm of them seemed to converge at the backyard door, spilling out onto the cobblestone path illuminated by faint outdoor lights. From afar, you caught sight of Logan kneeling infront of a boy.
“Back to your rooms, everyone,” you called out, your voice firm but calm. Some of the older teenagers lingered, their curiosity outweighing their obedience. Turning to one of them, you asked, “What happened?”
“I heard there’s a student missing,” a teenage girl replied, her voice trembling.
Your brow furrowed at her words. Missing? Anxiety crept into your chest as you shifted your gaze back to Logan, still kneeling in the yard. Urging the gawking children to disperse, you repeated, “Come on, everyone, back to your rooms. Curfew’s long past.”
As the reluctant crowd thinned, you made your way outside, stepping onto the cool cobblestone steps. Logan’s voice carried through the crisp night air as he spoke to the young boy.
“Listen, Carter, I need you to tell me anything you saw. Did you see a logo? A picture? Maybe a name?”
The small frame of the boy trembling however he chimed in, “I saw a letter. It was on their phone.”
You stepped closer, careful not to interrupt, though Logan briefly glanced over his shoulder, his eyes locking with yours for just a moment before returning to the boy.
“Phone?” he repeated.
“Yeah, it was black and had... like, a long antenna,” the boy explained innocently.
“A handy talk,” Logan muttered, lowering his head slightly as if trying to piece it together. “What letter did you see?” he asked, shifting his attention back to the boy.
“Sac, I can read,” he replied with the same innocent tone.
Logan frowned, a slight furrow in his brow as he repeated the word back to her, confused. “Sak?”
The boy nodded eagerly, as if confirming his guess. “Yeah, Sac.”
Logan shook his head, his confusion growing. “How do you spell it?”
Before the boy could respond, something clicked in your brain. The pieces fell into place, and you couldn’t stop yourself from stepping in.
“S-A-C,” you said, spelling it out clearly, each letter cutting through the tension.
The little boy's eyes lit up as he pointed his small finger at you. “That’s right!” he said brightly.
Logan’s expression darkened, the weight of the realization settling over him. He glanced back at you, his jaw tightening.
“SAC, Special Activities Center,” he repeated, this time with understanding—and dread.
The word hit you like a cold slap. You folded your arms against the chill, the night air biting through your sweater.
“Thanks, Carter. You head back inside now.” Logan stand on his feet as he pat the child gently, sending him towards the mansion's backdoor.
Once he scurried off, you stepped closer to him, your voice low but urgent. “What's going on?”
Logan rose to his feet, brushing his hands on his jeans. “That's Carter he's Maya and Ellie friends.”
Your stomach dropped. “Maya? Where’s Maya?”
Logan hesitated, taking a deep breath. “The three of them were playing hide-and-seek out here earlier. Maya wandered out here to find them... she finds Ellie first, then Carter saw two people in black clothes take them two.”
“SAC take them?” you repeated, the weight of the revelation sinking in. “They're connected with the CIA. The fuck do they want?”
Logan’s jaw tightened. “I don’t know. But if they’re involved, this isn’t just about them mutants children—it’s about all of us. They’re watching, and now they’re making their move.”
You didn’t respond immediately, your thoughts racing as dread settled heavily over you both. The children inside weren’t safe, not anymore. The larger force at play had finally made its presence known, and the mansion, once a sanctuary, had turned into a trap.
“Shit” you said finally, meeting Logan’s grim gaze. “We need to find them.”
His nod was slight, but the determination in his expression was unmistakable. “We will.”
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The team gathered in the common room for a late midnight meeting no one would expected, their exhaustion palpable. Scott slumped in his chair, the scent of alcohol faint but unmistakable, while Ororo leaned heavily against the armrest, her eyes half-lidded with fatigue. Jean sat cross-legged, her fingers massaging her temples, and Hank rubbed his eyes behind his glasses.
The situation frustrated you as bad as it already was. Fuck this. If it weren’t for the team’s fun night out, all of you would be out there looking for the poor little girls. You thought about doing it alone—after all, you were the only adult who wasn’t drunk or exhausted. Wait... there’s still Logan.
Fuck him. You're not going anywhere with him. The two of you still hadn’t addressed whatever the hell was going on between you.
If you waited until morning, they’d sure as hell be hungover or nowhere near the appropriate condition for a mission like this. And knowing these people all too damn well, they wouldn’t let you sneak into a CIA headquarters alone.
But you’d do it anyway.
You’d have to sneak your way out of this. Screw them. They’d be thankful as fuck when you took matters into your own hands.
“We have to address this in the morning,” Jean said, her voice steady but weary. “The professor will know the best approach.”
Of course, one of them would eventually say it. You had guessed it would be Scott, but maybe Jean read his mind first—like she’s probably doing to you right now. Fuck, I should clear my mind, you thought to yourself.
Hank sighed, his fingers tapping the edge of the table. “I’ve done some preliminary research, but it’s just theories right now. The CIA base we suspect isn’t far from here, and given Killebrew’s ties to the military, this might all be connected. If I’m right, they’ve been operating covertly, experimenting on mutants in ways we haven’t fully grasped yet.”
Ororo straightened, her brow furrowed. “That’s not something we can charge into without a solid plan. It’s dangerous.”
Scott waved a hand, his tone slurred but determined. “We’ll figure it out tomorrow. Right now, we all need rest.”
Jean nodded, glancing around the room. “Agreed. Maya and Ellie will need us at our best when we go after her.”
One by one, the team dispersed, their heavy steps echoing down the mansion’s halls. But you couldn’t shake the weight in your chest. The image of those girls—scared, alone, possibly suffering—played on a loop in your mind. By two in the morning, sleep had become impossible as you kept staring at the ceilings with eyes wide open, contemplating your plan which you came with none.
"Fuck this." You quickly changed into black cargo pants and a tight black long-sleeve shirt that pressed against your figure.
As you stood by the sink, you splashed cold water on your face, trying to steady your nerves for what was to come. But when you reached for the towel, your eyes flicked to the small accessory holder where you usually kept your mother's necklace.
It wasn’t there.
A knot of anxiety tightened in your chest. You leaned closer, scanning the sink area. It had to be somewhere nearby. Maybe it had just fallen off? You crouched down, searching the floor around the sink, your fingers brushing across the tiles in frantic movements. Nothing.
“Come on,” you muttered under your breath, your heart pounding as you pulled open the cabinet doors beneath the sink. Still nothing.
You swallowed hard, the realization sinking in that you might have lost or misplaced it. The thought made your stomach churn—it wasn’t just any necklace; it was your mother’s.
But you didn’t have time to dwell on it. Maya and Ellie needed you, and every second you spent searching was a second wasted. Clenching your fists, you forced yourself to push the worry aside.
You turned back to the mirror, taking a final glance at yourself. Tight black long-sleeve shirt, black cargo pants. "I look like a goddamn ninja," you muttered, trying to inject a bit of humor to steady your nerves.
The necklace would have to wait. Right now, you had to focus.
You grabbed your gear quietly, careful not to wake anyone. The mansion was still, the night cold against your skin as you descended the stairs with heavy black boots. You had just reached the kitchen when you froze.
Logan stood by the counter, cigarette in hand, the faint glow of its tip casting shadows on his rugged features. He didn’t look surprised to see you.
“Figured you’d try somethin’ stupid,” he said, his voice a gravelly rumble.
You adjusted the strap on your gear, feigning nonchalance. “I need to get some air.”
Logan chuckled dryly, taking a drag of his cigarette. “Air. Right. All geared up for a midnight stroll?” You frowned but didn’t reply, moving to the sink to double-check your supplies.
“You think sneakin’ out alone is a smart play?” he pressed, stepping closer. “What, you gonna take on the CIA single-handed?”
“I'll take my chances, better than doing nothing.” you snapped, spinning around to face him. “They're out there, and every second we waste, they could be hurting.”
Logan’s eyes narrowed. “And every second you’re out there without backup, you’re walkin’ straight into their hands. You heard what Hank said—Killebrew’s probably involved. You really think they won’t have another collar?”
You hesitated but clenched your fists. “I won't let such fear stop me. I won’t leave Maya and Ellie to them, Logan. I don’t care what’s waiting for me out there. It’s not like they can kill me.”
Logan’s jaw tightened as he stubbed out his cigarette in his palm. You could never get tired from the sight of him rolling his eyes at the slight burn sensation on his skin that amused you—well, more than amused in different circumstances, really.
If only he hadn’t been so confusing earlier tonight.
His voice dropped, low and dangerous. “It ain’t about killin’ you. It’s about breaking you. They don’t need you dead—they just need you broken enough to get what they want.”
The weight of his words pressed down on you, but the image of the girls wouldn’t let you relent. “If you’re trying to scare me, it’s not working. I’m leaving.”
Logan’s nostrils flared, and for a moment, you thought he’d let you go. But then he stepped back, grabbing his jacket. “You’re a stubborn pain in the ass, you know that?” You blinked as he shrugged into his jacket.
“If you’re hellbent on gettin’ yourself killed, I’m not lettin’ you go alone,” he growled.
Despite the tension, a flicker of gratitude warmed your chest. He might be impossible, but at least you wouldn’t face this alone.
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Logan gripped the steering wheel tighter as the car cruised down the empty highway, the hum of the engine the only sound between you. You stared out the passenger window, the dark road illuminated by the occasional passing streetlight. The silence was unbearable, heavy with unspoken tension, until you reached out and turned on the radio.
Bye Bye Bye blasted through the speakers, the upbeat rhythm shattering the quiet.
Logan groaned audibly, his hand darting out to switch it off within seconds.
'Don’t wanna be a fool for.....'
The music cut off abruptly, leaving an awkward void. You furrowed your brows and glanced at him, annoyed, but said nothing. He didn’t either, his jaw tightening as he kept his eyes firmly on the road.
This is gonna be a hell of a ride.
Minutes ticked by in agonizing silence, the clock on the dashboard glowing faintly. You stifled a yawn, the lack of sleep catching up to you. Logan glanced in your direction briefly, his expression unreadable, before returning his focus to the road.
“Sleepy already?” he finally asked, his tone gruff but quieter than usual.
You blinked at the window, counting the sparse cars around you. “Oh, so you talk,” you shot back coldly, not bothering to look at him.
Logan sighed heavily, side-eyeing you before speaking again. “I don’t know whaddya want me to say,” he muttered, his tone carrying a hint of frustration.
Your patience snapped. “Fuck you, Logan. You’re the one pretending like nothing happened between us.”
His eyes flicked toward you briefly before returning to the road, his knuckles whitening on the steering wheel. “I thought that’s what you wanted.” he said, his voice steady but edged with tension.
“No! I don’t want that! Why are you acting like an asshole?” you snapped, shifting in your seat to face him fully.
Logan kept his focus ahead, his jaw ticking. The tension in his shoulders was palpable, but he didn’t raise his voice. “What do you want then?” he asked gruffly.
You opened your mouth to answer, ready to unleash everything bottled inside, but second thoughts hit you like a brick wall. Your throat tightened, and instead of speaking, you clamped your mouth shut and pulled your knees up, hugging them to your chest. Your gaze drifted back to the window, the darkened landscape blurring as tears threatened to sting your eyes.
Logan glanced at you from the corner of his eye, guilt flickering across his face, though he quickly masked it. “That’s what I thought,” he muttered under his breath, barely audible but just loud enough for you to catch.
You swallowed hard, your nails digging into the fabric as you tried to steady your breathing. There was so much you wanted to say, so much that needed to be addressed, but this wasn’t the time. Maya and Ellie needed saving, and there was no room for emotions to get in the way.
You sat there, curled up in the passenger seat, clutching your knees tightly as the car glided through the quiet, empty highway. The faint hum of the engine filled the air between you, a stark contrast to the chaos in your chest. The longer the silence stretched, the heavier it felt, suffocating in a way words never could.
“M’sorry,” you whispered finally, the words escaping your lips before you could stop them. You didn’t even know what you were apologizing for exactly, but it felt like the right thing to say.
Logan glanced your way, his brow furrowing. You didn’t meet his gaze, your focus glued to the closed window, your reflection staring back at him. The image unsettled him—the way you sat curled into yourself, dressed in black like you were trying to look intimidating, but failing miserably with your chin resting atop your knees. You looked small, vulnerable, as though you were trying to shield yourself from something unseen.
He clenched his jaw, guilt gnawing at him as he returned his eyes to the road.
Logan took a deep breath, his knuckles tightening on the wheel. What the hell was he supposed to say now? Did you even realize how much he cared for you? How deeply?
Hell, he was out here driving through the freezing cold at two in the goddamn morning. Sure, finding that poor, innocent girl was the priority—but you were the real reason he’d agreed to this. He already knew how reckless and half-baked this plan was, especially with just the two of you. The team is going to be furious, he could already imagine the earful Scott would give him in this situation.
But he couldn’t fight you on it, he knew you too damn well. It was either he came along, or you’d go alone—and the thought of you facing this without him was something he couldn’t bear. Hell, he wouldn’t allow it.
If he had to, Logan would tear the whole goddamn world apart just to stand beside you. Whether to be an acquaintance, a friend, a partner, whatever you’d let him be. He would never leave you to deal with this on your own, not as long as he was still breathing.
“Don’t,” Logan muttered, his voice gruff as if the word was dragged out of him.
You blinked, glancing at him from the corner of your eye, unsure of what he meant.
“I’m sorry,” he growled, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “I was being a dick.”
For a moment, you just stared at him, surprised. Then, without warning, a small chuckle escaped you.
Logan’s head snapped toward you, confusion written all over his face. “What’s so funny?”
You bit your cheek, trying to hold back your laughter, but it only made it worse. Finally, you shook your head, letting out a soft laugh. “I just... I didn’t think you’d fall for it.”
Logan’s frown deepened, his confusion growing. “Fall for what?”
You shifted in your seat, lowering your legs and leaning back like you didn’t have a care in the world. “It’s okay. Now we’re both sorry.” You grinned at him mischievously. “I just didn’t expect you’d actually admit that you’re a dick.”
His expression darkened further, and he shot you a flat look. “Oh, fuck off.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction, the sound bubbling out of you as his frown became more pronounced. “You’re a horrible person,” he muttered, though there was a faint hint of amusement in his voice.
“I know,” you said smugly, leaning back even further and resting your arm behind your head, clearly enjoying your victory.
But your moment of triumph didn’t last long. Logan’s eyes glinted with a mischievous edge as his foot suddenly slammed on the brakes.
The car jerked to a halt, and you—without your seatbelt fastened—were flung forward, hitting the dashboard with a loud thud.
“Ugh!” you grunted in pain, your hand rubbing to your forehead as you turned to glare at him. “What the fuck, Logan?!”
He was still in his seat, untouched thanks to his seatbelt “Sorry,” he said mockingly, his tone laced with sarcasm. “There was a cat crossing the street.”
He didn’t even try to hide his smug grin, leaning back in his seat like he didn’t just commit attempted murder. “Next time, buckle up, tough guy,” he said, his tone dry, but the amusement in his eyes betrayed him.
Your jaw tightened as you fastened your seatbelt with an angry click, not that you should even care because crashing would literally kill none of you, really. But you wouldn't take the chance to be a part of his petty joke again. “You’re so petty,” you muttered, slumping back into your seat, arms crossed.
Logan let out a low chuckle, shaking his head slightly. “I know.” he said, clearly pleased with himself.
You rolled your eyes, muttering under your breath as the car resumed its journey. The tension that had once suffocated the air now felt lighter, though your annoyance with him lingered.
You’d get him back. Somehow.
Logan parked the car a few hundred meters away from the high-security compound, the faint glow of cameras scanning the area. The building stood tall in front of you, a modern fortress with high, wire-topped fences and armed guards at every corner. This wasn’t going to be easy.
You both exited the car in silence, you popped the trunk, revealing your gear neatly packed. You reached for the heavy black duffel bag, pulling it out and unzipping it with quick hands. The bag was full of weapons built for efficiency and speed, the kind you knew you could rely on in a tight spot.
You grabbed the Heckler & Koch MP5, its compact frame sitting comfortably in your hands. The submachine gun was built for quick action, a weapon perfect for close-quarters combat. It was lightweight but packed a punch, with its 9mm rounds designed for high velocity and rapid fire. You checked the magazine, making sure it was fully loaded, before slinging the strap over your shoulder. The weapon's compact size made it ideal for maneuvering through tight spaces, and the sound of the safety clicking off was a sound you were all too familiar with.
You ran your fingers over the soft, rubberized grip, knowing you could rely on it when things went south. The bag also held extra mags, each one loaded with 9mm rounds, quick to reload and ready for action. You gave a quick glance at Logan, his eyes now locked on you again, but you didn’t let the moment last too long, the weight of the gun a comforting reminder of your readiness.
He gave a low grunt. “This is a bad idea.”
“Tell me something I don’t know,” you muttered, adjusting your gloves. The plan was simple: Get in, find Maya, get out. No alarms. No mess. The problem was, nothing ever went according to plan.
Logan took the lead, moving with his usual predatory grace. The two of you made your way through the shadows, careful not to alert the guards. The compound was surrounded by tall, overgrown hedges, giving you some cover as you approached the back entrance. You crept toward a side gate, its lock weak enough for Logan to pry open with ease.
"You always make it look easy," you whispered, impressed despite yourself.
He grinned, his eyes gleaming in the dark. "Wouldn’t be the first time.”
You slipped through the gap, your footsteps silent on the cold concrete as you moved deeper into the facility. The perimeter was quiet, but the tension in the air was suffocating. Logan led the way, his keen senses constantly scanning the area. Every creak of a door, every flicker of a light, had you on edge.
You reached the back of the building, a narrow, unlit hallway leading inside. Logan paused, giving you a sharp glance. “Ready?”
“No shit,” you said, determination hardening your voice. You weren’t backing out now, no matter what.
He pulled open the door and ushering you inside. The air was cool and sterile, the sound of your footsteps echoing off the cement floors. You crept down the hall, moving in sync with Logan, every step calculated.
At the end of the hallway, you spotted a guarded door—high-security, with a keypad and a camera positioned just above it. Without hesitation, Logan stepped forward, grabbing the guard’s arm from the shadowed corner and pulling him into the darkness. He was out before he could make a sound, leaving behind nothing but a faint smell of burning skin.
You shuddered slightly but stayed focused. This was just part of the plan. Getting in and out.
Logan keyed in the code he'd swiped off the unconscious guard’s wristwatch, the door clicking open with a soft beep. He held it open, letting you slip inside first. The room was dark and cold, filled with computers and high-tech equipment. At the far end, a small holding cell, barely visible in the gloom, had a single figure slumped against the wall.
“Maya,” you whispered urgently, your voice cracking.
She looked up slowly, her face pale, her eyes wide with fear. But when she saw you, her lips trembled, and for a moment, you could see the faintest glimmer of hope. "You came..."
You rushed to her side, kneeling beside her, gently brushing a strand of her hair away to get a better look at her face. She was bruised and battered, her small frame trembling, but nothing seemed life-threatening. Still, the sight of her like this ignited a fierce protectiveness in your chest.
“Where’s Ellie?” you asked, your voice soft but urgent.
Maya flinched at the question, her lips quivering. “I-I don’t know,” she stuttered, her voice barely above a whisper. “We... we were playing together, and then—” Her words broke off, her small body trembling as tears welled up in her eyes.
“It’s okay, Maya,” you said quickly, your tone firm but comforting. “We’re getting you out of here. You’re safe now.”
Logan moved around, his sharp eyes scanning the room for any signs of further threats. “We don’t have time for this,” he muttered, already heading toward the door. “We need to move. Get her to safety first.”
You hesitated, your instincts screaming to keep looking for Ellie, but Logan’s tone left no room for argument. He glanced back at you, his voice low but commanding. “We’ll come back for her. Right now, we’ve gotta get Maya out before we’re cornered.”
Taking a deep breath, you nodded and reached down to help Maya to her feet. Her legs wobbled, and she winced at the effort, but she clung to you tightly. “We’re getting you out,” you reassured her again, though the knot in your stomach didn’t loosen.
As you moved toward the door, the beeping of the security alarm behind you confirmed the worst. Logan’s eyes flicked to you, his expression grim. “Move it,” he said sharply.
Grabbing Maya’s hand, you pulled her along, your heart pounding as you navigated through the dim hallway. Logan led the way, his senses on high alert. You reached the stairwell, but your stomach sank as you saw more guards below.
Logan growled low under his breath, his fists clenching. “Stay behind me,” he said, his voice quiet but firm.
Without hesitation, Logan leaped into action, taking down the first guard with brutal efficiency. You followed closely, keeping Maya tucked safely behind you, your body positioned as a shield.
Your MP5 hung at your side, a secondary measure tonight. Every movement was calculated, every glance behind ensuring Maya’s safety. No harm would come to her—not a single scratch.
Logan cleared the path with a relentless fury, and together, you pushed forward, determined to get Maya out of this nightmare and to safety. Only then would you think about going back for Ellie.
You would have the time of your life alongside Logan taking these guards down, but tonight your MP5 was nothing more than a safety measure, secondary to your true focus. Your attention was entirely on Maya, making yourself her shield, her protection. No harm would come to her—not a single scratch, not the faintest injury. You positioned yourself between her and the chaos outside, every move calculated to ensure her safety above all else.
Logan’s claws came out, the metallic sound cutting through the air. With every strike, another guard fell. You couldn’t help but watch in awe at the way he moved—fierce, unstoppable. He cleared a path toward the exit, but it wasn’t without cost. You could hear the distant sound of reinforcements arriving, the compound now fully alerted to your presence.
"Shit," you muttered under your breath. There was no turning back now.
But you didn’t need to. Maya was free. That was all that mattered.
As you reached the exit, the lights behind you began to flash. You could hear the sirens, feel the pressure of the situation mounting. But Logan was already pushing you forward, his voice low and gruff. "Keep moving. I’ll cover you."
You barely had time to process what was happening before you burst through the door, the cold air hitting your face like a slap. The car was still a few hundred meters away, but there was no time to hesitate. Without a word, you crouched and scooped Maya into your arms. She instinctively clung to you, her small arms wrapping tightly around your neck, her feet curling against your stomach to secure herself. Her muffled cries broke your focus, soft and trembling as she buried her face into your shoulder, her fingers gripping your shirt like a lifeline.
You ran as fast as you could, every step echoing in the silence of the night, Logan keeping pace just behind you. The weight of Maya in your arms was nothing compared to the drive to get her to safety. You could feel her little hand clutching you tighter with every sound of pursuit behind you, her breath hitching against your collarbone.
You reached the car first, yanking the back door open and rushing Maya inside. Her tiny arms loosened around your neck as you gently set her on the seat, her tear-streaked face burying deeper into your shoulder for a moment. You whispered, "Stay here, sweet girl," before pulling back just enough to slam the door shut. You didn’t waste time sliding into the passenger seat as Logan bolted into the driver’s seat beside you.
The engine roared to life as Logan turned the wheel sharply, tires screeching against the cold pavement. The car bolted forward, but the horror started almost immediately. Gunfire erupted behind you, bullets slamming into the rear of the vehicle with sharp metallic thuds.
"Get down!" you yelled instinctively, your voice sharp and commanding. Maya screamed, a high-pitched cry that sent a pang through your chest. "Maya, keep your head down, baby. Stay as low as you can," you urged, already crawling from the passenger seat to shield her in the back.
The gunfire intensified, the attackers closing in. Logan growled under his breath as he adjusted the rearview mirror. “They’re catching up. Bikes.”
You twisted, catching sight of two motorcycles weaving in and out of the shadows. Their riders aimed and fired, their bullets shattering both side windows. Glass shards rained into the car, cutting into the chaos.
Logan flinched, jerking slightly as a bullet grazed his arm, tearing through his jacket. He hissed but kept his focus on the road. “Damn it,” he muttered, his grip tightening on the wheel.
Another bullet grazed your shoulder, burning through your jacket. The sharp sting was brief, dulled by your healing factor, but it still sent a jolt of frustration through you. "Logan, they’re on both sides!"
One biker closed in on Logan’s side, leveling his weapon for a clean shot. Logan swerved sharply, slamming the car into the bike, but the rider steadied himself. Without hesitation, Logan growled, "Hold on," and yanked the car door open.
In one fluid motion, Logan leaned out, his left arm shooting forward to grab the man by the neck. The rider’s eyes widened in shock as Logan yanked him clean off the bike, slamming him to the ground with brutal force.
On the right, another rider closed in, aiming for the car. You didn’t hesitate. The MP5 was already in your hands, and with a calculated burst of fire, you hit his front tire. The bike wobbled violently before tipping, sending the rider skidding across the asphalt.
"Fuck!" Logan snarled as another shot blew out the rear tire. The car lurched violently, metal screeching against the road as it ground to a halt. Logan slammed the wheel in frustration, his chest heaving. "Get her up. Now!"
You scrambled to Maya, pulling her carefully into your arms. She was trembling but responsive. “Come on, baby,” you murmured, trying to steady your voice.
By the time you turned, Logan was already at one of the fallen bikes, inspecting it for damage. "This’ll do," he muttered, hauling the machine upright. He swung onto the seat, revving the engine.
Then you saw it. Maya’s head lolled against your chest, and the dark stain on her shirt caught your attention. Blood seeped from a cut on her neck, spreading too quickly. Your stomach clenched.
"Logan!" you shouted, your voice cracking. "She’s bleeding bad!"
Logan’s head whipped around, his expression hardening. “Get on.” His voice left no room for argument.
Clutching Maya’s fragile body, you climbed onto the bike behind Logan, holding her close. Logan revved the engine, and the bike sped off into the night. You pressed Maya’s small frame against yours, one hand trying desperately to stem the bleeding at her neck.
“Stay with me, baby,” you whispered into her hair, your voice breaking as the cold wind whipped past. “Please, Maya, just hold on.”
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4:27 a.m. You stood frozen, staring at Maya’s unconscious form in the medbay. The room felt distant, the sterile white lights blurring everything into a haze. Hank and Jean had been woken up barely ten minutes ago by Logan, and now they were rushing back and forth in their white coats, their voices low but urgent.
You should’ve felt bad for pulling them into this mess, dragging them out of bed at this hour. But even that guilt was nothing compared to the pit of self-loathing eating away at you. This was your fault. Maya’s condition, her pale face, her blood staining your hands was because of you. Reckless. Stupid. You didn’t fucking think before-
"Hey," Logan’s voice broke through the storm in your head, soft but steady.
You didn’t look at him, didn’t respond. You barely even registered his presence, the sound of Jean’s voice faintly breaking through your fog. She was explaining something to Hank, something about Maya losing too much blood, needing to confirm her blood type. But the words barely landed.
You clenched your arms tighter across your chest, folding into yourself. The weight of everything—Maya’s fragile state, your own failures was suffocating. Logan stepped closer, watching you carefully. His hand reached out, resting gently on your shoulder, his thumb brushing against you in a calming rhythm.
The small, unexpected gesture made you shiver. The knot in your chest tightened, and you felt the sting of tears threatening to spill. Slowly, your head dipped, your defenses crumbling under the weight of it all. You couldn’t stop the overwhelming tide of emotions crashing down on you.
"Go clean up. Let Hank and Jean do what they need to." he suggested.
A word didn’t even leave your lips. You felt lost, unmoored in a storm of emotions that you couldn’t navigate. You didn’t know what to do, how to move, how to think. You needed guidance, even if it was something as small and straightforward as Logan telling you to clean up. His words cut through the fog, and for a fleeting moment, you felt a sense of obedience—a familiar pull to follow orders. That was what you were good at, after all. What you were once best at: following orders.
Your eyes flicked up to Logan, searching for...something. His palm remained steady on your shoulder, grounding you, his thumb moving in a small, repetitive motion that somehow kept you from spiraling. His gaze met yours with the quiet reassurance there was enough to steady your nod.
You stepped away, walking out of the medbay, his hand falling from your shoulder as you moved. The absence of his touch left a strange void, but you pushed forward, heading toward the stairs. Logan followed silently a few steps behind, his heavy footsteps echoing softly against the walls. He didn’t push you, didn’t fill the space with meaningless words, but his presence lingered with constant, quiet support.
You climbed the stairs mechanically, every step feeling heavier than the last. The exhaustion, the guilt, the overwhelming swirl of emotions, they pressed down on you, threatening to crush you with each passing second. As much as Logan worried about Maya, you both knew there was nothing more either of you could do. It was Hank and Jean’s turn now. That truth didn’t make the wait any easier.
When you reached your room, you stopped in the doorway, gripping the frame as if it could hold you upright. Logan paused behind you, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He watched you closely, his sharp gaze catching every tremble in your hands, every shaky breath.
Your fingers fumbled with the straps of your gear, but they wouldn’t cooperate. Frustration bubbled up, and you let out a low growl as you yanked the vest off and dropped it unceremoniously onto the floor. Bloodstains smeared across the fabric caught your eye, and your chest tightened at the sight.
Logan pushed off the wall and stepped inside, crouching down to pick up the discarded vest. He set it aside carefully, his movements slow and deliberate, as though giving you the time and space to process.
“I'll stay here,” he said again, his voice quieter this time, almost gentle.
You nodded again, your movements sluggish, and turned toward the bathroom. The weight of the day settled on your shoulders, dragging your steps, but you kept moving.
You stepped into the bathroom, the door clicking shut behind you, you turned around to lock it immediately. The smell hit immediately—dried blood, sweat, and the lingering metallic tang of Maya’s injury. It clung to you like guilt, heavy and suffocating.
With trembling hands, you stripped off your clothes, dropping them into a heap on the floor. The fabric stuck to your skin in places where blood had dried, and the motion sent a fresh wave of nausea rolling through you.
Standing at the sink, you turned on the faucet, the rush of water almost deafening in the quiet. You scrubbed your hands, desperate to rid yourself of the blood staining your skin. Maya’s blood. It was there, literal-fucking-ly on your hands, and no matter how hard you scrubbed, it felt like it wouldn’t come off. Your breaths grew erratic as the image of her unconscious face looped endlessly in your mind.
You turned the faucet off abruptly, the silence that followed almost unbearable. Moving to the shower, you twisted the knob to the hottest setting, steam immediately rising to fill the small space. You stepped in, holding your hands under the boiling stream, watching as the dried blood finally washed away, swirling down the drain.
The searing heat burned your skin, but the pain felt satisfying—a punishment you thought you deserved. It wasn’t enough to hurt you, not with your healing ability, but it gave you a brief, fleeting sense of control.
The water cascaded over you, from the top of your head to your toes, scalding and relentless. You gritted your teeth as the heat bit into your skin, but the pain wasn’t what broke you. The weight of everything did.
Your legs gave out, and you slid down onto the cold tiles, your back pressed against the wall. Hugging your knees to your chest, you buried your face in them, letting the boiling water pour over you as sobs wracked your body. It wasn’t the pain that made you cry—you weren’t even sure what it was anymore. You just needed to let it out, to feel something other than the crushing guilt.
Outside, Logan sat by your windowsill, his arms crossed as he stared into the night. His nose twitched as a faint scent wafted through the air—burned flesh. He furrowed his brow, his senses sharpening as the smell lingered. It didn’t fade. If anything, it grew stronger.
Concern etched into his features, he pushed off the sill and headed toward your bathroom door. The scent was unmistakable now, and worry gnawed at the edges of his composure. He knocked gently.
“Hey,” he called, his voice calm but firm. “You okay in there?”
No response.
He tried again, calling your name louder this time. “I’m gonna break this door if you don’t answer.”
Still nothing.
Logan muttered a curse under his breath, his patience snapping as the smell of burning flesh only intensified. With a heavy thud, he slammed his shoulder into the door. The wooden frame groaned but held. Another slam, then another, until the lock finally gave way, the door flying open to release a rush of hot steam that hit him like a wall.
“Fuck me,” he muttered, waving a hand in front of his face in a futile attempt to clear the air. His eyes scanned the room until they landed on you, curled up on the shower floor, water pouring over your trembling, bare figure.
“Shit,” he whispered under his breath, his jaw tightening as the scene before him sank in.
The scalding water hissed against his arm skin as he reached for the shower handle, shutting it off with a groan. His own flesh burned at the contact, but it healed almost instantly. He turned his focus to you, crouching beside your slumped form, his heart breaking at the sight of your vulnerability.
Grabbing a towel from a nearby rack, he opened it wide and carefully wrapped it around you. His movements were gentle, deliberate, as though afraid he might break you further. His voice was soft when he finally spoke.
“Hey,” he murmured, his hand brushing against your damp hair. “C’mon, darlin’. Let’s get you out of here.”
You didn’t respond at first, your head lifting only slightly as you noticed his presence. His face was etched with worry, his sharp features softened by the sorrow in his eyes. His hand came up to cup the side of your jaw, his thumb tracing lightly over your tear-streaked cheek.
You swallowed hard, your voice caught in your throat. The overwhelming emotions left you unable to speak, and all you could do was stare at him, your swollen eyes searching for something—comfort, reassurance, anything.
Logan shifted to sit beside you, his broad shoulder brushing against yours. He opened his arms, a silent invitation. Without thinking, you leaned into him, tucking your head against his chest as his arms enveloped you. The dampness of your hair soaked into his shirt, but he couldn't care less. His chin rested atop your head, his steady presence anchoring you as you sobbed quietly, the tears flowing freely now.
“It’s okay,” he whispered, his voice a low rumble that vibrated through his chest. “I’ve got you.”
Logan stayed there, holding you as though his presence alone could shield you from whatever storm was raging inside. His arms tightened just enough to remind you he was there—not pushing, not forcing, just being. His thumb drew absent circles against your arm, a silent comfort that kept you tethered to the moment.
Minutes passed, or maybe hours; time seemed to lose meaning. The bathroom remained cloaked in a haze of steam, the air thick and humid, but neither of you moved. The water had long since stopped running, leaving only the faint drip-drip of the showerhead to break the silence. Logan didn't rush you; he seemed to know you needed this space, this moment to fall apart without judgment.
Eventually, your sobs quieted, leaving you drained and trembling in his arms. Your head stayed tucked against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. It was grounding, a lifeline you hadn't known you needed. You felt small, raw, like a wound left open, but for the first time in hours, the suffocating weight of guilt started to ease—just a little.
Logan broke the silence first, his voice a low murmur. "I know you think this is all on you, but it’s not."
You wanted to say something, anything, but the words wouldn’t come. Instead, you nodded faintly, your face brushing against the damp fabric of his shirt. He took the gesture for what it was, a small step forward, and didn’t press for more.
After a moment, he shifted slightly, one arm still wrapped around you as the other reached for the towel. He adjusted it, making sure it covered you properly before pulling back just enough to look at you. His piercing gaze softened when it met yours, his eyes filled with an understanding you hadn’t expected.
“You’re freezing,” he said, his brows knitting together. “Let’s get you outta here, yeah?”
You blinked, realizing for the first time that your body was shaking—not from cold, but from the aftermath of everything you’d been holding in. Still, you nodded again, letting him help you to your feet. His hand stayed steady on your arm as he guided you out of the shower, careful not to let you slip on the wet tiles.
He grabbed another towel, wrapping it around your hair with surprising gentleness. The care in his actions almost undid you again, but you swallowed hard, forcing yourself to hold it together.
“I’ll grab you some clothes,” he said quietly, motioning toward your dresser. “Just sit tight.”
You sank onto the edge of your bed, the towel still wrapped tightly around you as you watched him move. His presence filled the room—not in an overbearing way, but in a way that made you feel less...alone. He returned a moment later with a fresh set of clothes, setting them down beside you.
“You good to change?” he asked, his voice soft but firm, like he was giving you the option to say no.
You nodded, and he took that as his cue to turn away, suddenly finding your window so interesting to glance at. Giving you privacy while still staying within arm’s reach. His respect for your boundaries didn’t go unnoticed, and it made your chest ache in a way you couldn’t quite explain.
Once dressed, you hesitated for a moment before speaking, your voice hoarse from crying. “Logan?”
He turned back to you immediately, his eyes meeting yours.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, the words trembling with guilt. “For dragging you into all of this. You didn’t deserve it.”
His expression softened, a mix of concern and frustration flickering in his gaze. “Don’t start with that,” he said firmly but not unkindly. “You didn’t drag me anywhere. I’m here because I wanna be. Got it?”
You nodded slowly, the weight of his words settling over you like a fragile reassurance. Your eyes flicked to the clock by your nightstand—5:03 a.m. The realization made your stomach twist, the hours slipping away faster than you could think.
“I need to check on Maya's condition,” you said suddenly, your voice steadier but still strained.
Logan’s hand, still resting lightly on your shoulder, gave a gentle squeeze. “Alright,” he said. “Let’s go.”
The hallway leading to the med bay felt like it stretched on forever, each step dragging like a weight tethered to your ankles. Logan walked beside you, silent but present, his steady pace offering a grounding presence you barely noticed through the storm raging in your chest. The fluorescent lights overhead hummed softly, an unbearable mockery of normalcy as dread curled in your gut.
When you reached the med bay door, it opened with a quiet hiss, and the world seemed to tilt. The room was unnaturally quiet, the air heavy, oppressive. Jean stood by the bed where Maya lay, her figure tense, arms crossed tightly over her chest. A bag of blood hung from a metal stand, but the tube dangled loose, disconnected. Hank sat slumped in a chair nearby, his head bowed low, the white of his coat streaked with red that had long since dried. He didn’t even look up when you entered.
Jean turned as the door clicked shut behind you, her gaze snapping to meet yours. Her expression was grave, her face drawn and heavy with something unspeakable. The weight of her silence crushed you instantly.
“What’s going on?” you demanded, your voice trembling as you crossed the room in hurried strides, your pulse roaring in your ears. The question tasted bitter on your tongue, dread bubbling up in your chest. You didn’t want to know the answer, not really. You clung desperately to the fragile hope that what you feared wasn’t true.
Jean didn’t answer. Her lips parted, but no words came, only a flicker of helplessness in her eyes that made your stomach plummet. You turned your attention to Hank, sitting motionless, his large hands limp in his lap. Still, no response. It was the silence that told you everything. The kind of silence that only follows the unspeakable.
Your breath quickened as your eyes fell on Maya’s still form on the bed. You reached out, your fingers trembling as they brushed against her cold skin. The moment you touched her, you recoiled. No. This can’t be real.
“Maya,” you whispered, your voice cracking. The panic rose inside you, but you fought to keep it in check. You pressed your fingers to her neck, hoping against hope for a pulse, for any sign of life. There was nothing. The stillness suffocated you. “No, no, no—this can’t be happening.”
You couldn’t stop the tears that welled in your eyes, but you didn’t let them fall. You blinked rapidly, your chest tight, trying to hold it all in. Your knees buckled slightly, and you steadied yourself by gripping the bed rail. Your breath came in shallow bursts, but you forced yourself not to break down completely. Not here, not now.
“What happened?” The question slipped out of you in a broken, quiet voice, and you turned to Hank and Jean, your eyes searching for an answer they couldn’t give.
Jean’s gaze dropped to the floor, her voice soft but heavy. “She was gone before we could stop the bleeding,” she said, and her words cut deeper than anything else in the room.
“No.” You shook your head violently, your hands gripping the bed rail as if it could anchor you. “You’re lying. She’s not—she’s not gone. She can’t be. It’s my fault. I should’ve—” Your voice broke, your chest heaving as the truth slammed into you like a freight train.
Logan’s hand was on your shoulder then, warm and steady. “They've tried their best” he said, his voice low but certain. “So did we, so did you.”
Your tears finally slipping free, but you didn’t sob. It was quiet, contained, but the weight of them felt unbearable. You swallowed hard, wiping your face, but the tears came regardless, leaving silent trails down your cheeks. The grief sat heavily in your chest, raw and unyielding.
You looked back at Maya’s small body, your heart aching, the guilt still gnawing at you. “I should’ve—” Your voice faltered again
“Stop,” he said, his voice low and firm, cutting through the chaos in your head. “Don’t do this to yourself.”
Logan's arm rests steady by your shoulder, with a slight pressure, as if he's trying to pull you into his embrace. As inviting and comforting as it seems, you can't accept such affection from him—you simply cannot.
His heart shatters into pieces at the scene before him: the sweet girl who doesn’t deserve this, and you, torturing yourself with it. He can feel the guilt radiating from your very core, and whilst he's not a much of a believer at this very moment he wishes he could make it better, could make you feel better, if only he knew how. His vain attempt at a gentle pull to draw you closer goes unnoticed by you—or at least, that's what he thinks.
You felt worthless, an absolute failure. You thought you are a failure when Maya's injured but now to cost her a life too? Is there even a word for that, something lower than a failure, a disappointment perhaps. She deserved better, if only you didn't storm in like a rookie and thought everything would go as planned, maybe she'd be alive. If only you didn't let the paranoia get the best of you, letting yourself to work as a team with the others.
You stepped back, the nauseating feeling washing over you once again—one you could never get used to. It was overwhelming. Logan’s arm fell from your shoulder, and he glanced at you immediately, searching for your eyes.
You didn’t know why, but a sudden urge to hide overwhelmed you. Embarrassment crept in like a heavy shadow. They would acknowledge your grief, yes, but they would also acknowledge the truth you couldn’t escape—that it was all because of you. Your fault. No matter how hard they tried to mask their silent judgment, it was always written plainly on their faces.
You wanted to run away from all of it. Like you always do—an avoider. “Excuse me,” you said, your voice quieter than intended, as your hand relentlessly wiped at the stupid tears streaming down your face. Your feet, weighed down by guilt, carried you out of the medbay in seconds.
Logan's confusion was palpable. He would’ve expected you to mourn in a much different way—maybe saying a final goodbye to Maya with heavy, fat tears. Instead, your reaction left him unsettled. Turning his attention back to Maya's body, he murmured softly, “M’really sorry, girl,” a quiet apology and farewell meant more for her than for himself. He tried to be tough, for his own sake and, in part, for yours.
When he looked up again, his focus shifted to you disappearing down the hallway. With a deep sigh, he turned to Jean and Hank. “I’m sorry, Jean, Hank.” he said simply, nodding at each of them before walking out with heavy, deliberate foot steps.
With your arms wrapped tightly around your body, as if they could shield you from the crushing weight of your shame, you walked briskly, desperate to disappear before anyone could see you. But your hope shattered when Logan’s voice rang out from behind, calling your name—once, twice, and then multiple times.
That didn't stopped you, why would it be. You need a time, an alone time obviously.
You kept walking, your pace quickening with every step. Logan's voice called after you, his tone growing sharper, more insistent, but you didn’t stop. You couldn’t. Your feet moved on autopilot, carrying you toward your room as if it were the only safe harbor in a storm. You needed space—alone time, desperately—because facing anyone, even him, was unbearable right now.
Reaching your door, you fumbled with the handle, slipping inside just as Logan's footsteps came up behind you. The door clicked shut, and you locked it immediately, the sound echoing in the suffocating silence of your room.
Your legs gave out beneath you, the weight of everything dragging you down. You fell to the floor with a quiet thud, your back sliding against the door until you were sitting, knees pulled to your chest. Your hands trembled as they wrapped around your legs, holding yourself together as though you might otherwise shatter completely. The tears came fast and hot, spilling down your face in relentless waves as sobs wracked your body.
Outside, Logan stopped just short of colliding with the door. He stared at it for a moment, frustration and worry warring on his face. His hand came up, hesitating before he knocked gently, his voice barely audible over the sound of your muffled cries.
“Don’t do this to yourself,” he said, his words soft but edged with a quiet plea. “C’mon. Let me in.”
Your sobs didn’t stop. If anything, they grew louder, raw and broken, tearing through the fragile silence like jagged glass. The sound twisted something deep inside him, and Logan let out a frustrated growl under his breath. His hands curled into fists at his sides as he leaned his forehead against the door, the cool wood doing little to ground him.
He could hear every breath you took, every hitch in your voice, every agonized cry that told him exactly how much pain you were in. And it was killing him. Logan wasn’t the type to sit idly by, but now, he had no choice. You had locked him out—both literally and figuratively—and no matter how badly he wanted to rip the door off its hinges, he held himself back. Barely.
“Dammit,” he muttered, his voice dropping to a rough whisper. His fists uncurled, one hand coming up to press flat against the door, as if somehow that small gesture could reach you.
Inside, you heard his words, but they felt distant, like a faint echo buried beneath the tidal wave of your guilt. Your breaths came in sharp, shallow gasps, your chest heaving as the weight of everything pressed down on you. Maya’s face flashed in your mind—her lifeless body, the blood, the stillness—and a fresh wave of nausea rolled through you.
Logan's voice came again, this time firmer, though still gentle. “You’re not the reason this happened. You hear me? It wasn’t your fault.”
But you couldn’t hear him—not really. The voice in your head was louder, crueler, drowning him out with accusations and blame. It was your fault. You should’ve done better, been better. You shouldn’t have stormed into the mission so recklessly, thinking everything would go as planned. Maya was gone because of you, and nothing anyone said could change that.
Outside, Logan’s patience snapped. He slammed his palm against the door, the loud crack startling even him. “Lemme in,” he demanded, his voice rough, a thread of desperation woven through it. “Lemme in, Jesus.”
But there was no response. Only the sound of your quiet, choked cries bleeding through the door. Logan clenched his jaw, his frustration bubbling to the surface. He wanted to be angry at you, to yell at you for shutting him out, but he couldn’t. Not when he could hear the sheer agony in every sound you made.
“Shit,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. He leaned back against the door, his body a tense line of restraint. The urge to break down the barrier between you was almost overwhelming, but he stayed put, knowing you’d only push him further away if he forced his way in.
“Please,” he said, his voice dropping to a low murmur, almost a whisper. “Don’t do this. Don’t shut me out.” His words hung heavy in the air, unanswered.
Logan’s heart twisted painfully as he realized he couldn’t reach you—not like this. You kept putting distance between yourself and everyone else, a distance that felt impossible for him to cross. He wanted nothing more than to pull you into his arms, to hold you until the storm inside you calmed, but you wouldn’t let him. And that broke something inside him more than he cared to admit.
Sliding down to sit on the floor outside your door, Logan rested his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. He stayed there, silent but present, listening to your muffled cries. His claws itched to tear the door apart, but instead, he let out a quiet sigh, his voice barely audible as he spoke again.
“M'not going anywhere,” he said softly, his words meant for you and you alone. “Take all the time you need. I’ll be right here.”
‱‱‱
The sun had begun its slow ascent, casting a dark blue hue over the horizon visible through your window. The shadows of the night retreated inch by inch, but the heaviness inside you refused to dissipate. You hadn’t moved from your spot by the window, knees drawn to your chest, the tears long since dried on your cheeks. An hour had passed, maybe more, though it felt like a lifetime.
Then, Professor Xavier's calm, commanding voice broke the silence, resonating in your mind. “I need you in the meeting room.”
You inhaled deeply, trying to steady the storm inside you. Rising to your feet felt like a monumental effort, but you managed. You opened the door and froze at the sight of Logan seated by the wall just outside, his head resting against it, eyes closed but still alert. He looked up instantly, his gaze locking onto yours.
He stood quickly, his movements fluid despite the obvious exhaustion etched into his features. "Xavier?" he asked, his tone neutral but edged with concern.
“Yeah,” you croaked out, your voice raspy and weak, accompanied by a small nod. You avoided his gaze, focusing on the floor as you closed the door behind you. Without another word, you turned and began walking toward the stairs, your feet moving automatically.
But you hadn’t gone far when Logan’s hand gently caught your wrist, halting your steps. “Hey,” he said softly followed by muttering your name, his voice a plea more than a call.
You froze, your body stiffening at the contact. For a moment, you couldn’t bring yourself to turn, couldn’t bear to see the worry or frustration in his eyes. But his pull was gentle, almost reluctant, and it broke through your hesitation. Slowly, you turned to face him, your gaze falling to where his hand wrapped around your wrist.
“You don’t have to go,” he murmured, his voice quiet but firm. “I can talk to Charles.” His thumb brushed lightly against your wrist, the touch grounding in its tenderness.
“No, Logan,” you said, shaking your head, your voice steadier this time. “This is my responsibility.”
His grip loosened but didn’t fall away, his thumb still tracing soothing circles on your skin. “Alright,” he muttered, his tone almost resigned, though his words carried an undercurrent of understanding.
His voice pulled your gaze upward, and for the first time, you met his eyes fully. They were heavy with exhaustion and unspoken emotions, a reflection of everything he wasn’t saying but felt nonetheless. You swallowed hard, guilt gnawing at you as your eyes flicked from his to his lips for the briefest moment—a fleeting, subconscious act.
Realizing what you’d done, you flinched slightly, pulling your wrist free from his grasp. “I’ll be fine,” you mumbled, turning quickly and walking toward the stairs without sparing him another glance.
Behind you, Logan let out a quiet sigh, his frustration palpable. He followed a step behind, unwilling to let you face whatever awaited you alone, even if you didn’t want his company.
The room fell silent as you stepped in, Logan following close behind. All eyes turned toward you, their gazes heavy, searing into your already fragile composure. You glanced around the table, forcing yourself to take in each expression, though you couldn’t linger for long.
Scott’s face was a mask of barely restrained fury, his jaw clenched, his lips pressed into a thin line. Even behind his visor, you could feel the weight of his disappointment. It radiated off him, sharp and cutting, like a physical blow.
Beside him, Jean sat with her hands clasped tightly in her lap, her face pale, her eyes rimmed with red. She wasn’t just mourning—she was devastated, her grief a palpable force that seemed to drain the room of warmth.
Ororo’s expression was harder to decipher. Her lips pressed together in a grim line, her eyes clouded with a mix of emotions—grief, perhaps, but also a quiet sadness that hinted at disappointment.
Hank sat hunched over, his hands clasped tightly on the table, his brow furrowed in an almost pained expression. His guilt was etched into every line of his face, though you knew this wasn’t on him. Still, it weighed on him as if it were.
Finally, your eyes landed on Charles. His face was as composed as ever, his expression neutral and unreadable. Yet the silence that lingered between you spoke volumes. There was no condemnation in his gaze, but no reassurance, either—just the quiet presence of a man who had seen too much.
The weight of their collective stares became unbearable, and you looked down, focusing on the floor as you moved to take an empty seat. Logan’s hand lightly brushed your back, a silent anchor, before he stepped around you to take the chair beside yours.
The silence in the meeting room was oppressive as Charles cleared his throat, his voice calm yet heavy with the weight of the situation.
“We’re here to discuss the unfortunate events that has occurred,” he began, his tone measured, “And to prepare for Maya’s funeral this morning.”
The mention of her name sent a fresh wave of guilt crashing over you. You stared at the table, unable to meet anyone’s eyes.
Scott, however, wasted no time, his voice sharp and biting. “She needs to explain herself.” His gaze burned into you, and though you couldn’t see his eyes behind the visor, the fury in his voice was unmistakable. “A student is dead, because she couldn’t keep her head straight.”
Logan shifted in his seat beside you, his fists curling against the table. “Ease up, Summers,” he growled, his tone low and menacing.
“No,” Scott shot back, his voice rising. “You think this is something we can just brush off? Maya’s gone, and someone needs to be held accountable!”
Logan leaned forward, his voice cold and deliberate. “Accountable? You wanna talk about accountability, Scott? Maybe we should start with who came back drunk last night.”
Scott froze, his jaw tightening as Logan’s words hit their mark.
“She was trying to do the team a favor” Logan continued, his gaze hard.
“Logan,” Charles interjected, his tone a quiet warning, but Logan ignored him, his focus locked on Scott.
“You weren’t out there,” Logan said, his voice sharp as claws. “You didn’t see what we were up against.”
Scott looked like he wanted to fire back, but Jean placed a hand on his arm, her touch calming him just enough to make him sit back.
Charles turned to you, his expression gentler. “Please, tell us what happened,” he said, his tone more of a request than a command.
Your hands tightened into fists against your knees, your voice trembling as you began.
“Logan and I got her into the car, we were already leaving from the facility and her condition was well” you said quietly, your throat tightening. “I thought we were clear, but then
” You hesitated, the memory of that moment flashing vividly in your mind.
“They catch up with bikers and started shooting, the window shattered” you continued, your voice breaking. “A bullet
 or maybe a glass, it nicked through her neck.”
You couldn’t say more, your words catching as your breaths grew shallow. Logan’s hand moved, his rough palm settling atop your trembling one where it gripped your knee tightly. His warmth anchored you, his touch gentle but grounding.
“We almost got her,” Logan said, his voice low but steady, cutting through the tension in the room. His tone carried a weight of guilt, even though you knew it wasn’t his to bear. “I couldn’t drive fast enough.”
His admission hung in the air, raw and unfiltered, as if he blamed himself when the truth was far from that.
“It wasn’t his fault,” you said, your voice barely audible, but firm. “It was mine. It was my idea to move faster, to take the risk.”
Logan’s grip on your hand tightened just slightly, a silent protest against your self-blame.
The room remained quiet for a moment, the weight of your words sinking in. Even Scott, though still fuming, seemed to falter, the sharp edges of his anger dulled by the rawness of what had been said.
Charles’s gaze lingered on you and Logan, his expression unreadable but thoughtful.
Jean was the first to break the silence. “And Ellie?” she asked softly, her voice laced with concern.
The reminder hit you like a punch to the gut. Ellie. You swallowed hard, your throat dry. “We didn’t find her. She’s still out there.”
Scott’s scowl deepened. “So, we’re sitting here, wasting time when we should be focusing on finding her.”
“We will,” Charles said firmly.
Ororo looked to you, her expression thoughtful but troubled. “Why would they target children, especially girls?” she asked. “It seems deliberate.”
You took a deep breath, choosing your words carefully. “Because girls are less likely to be seen as a threat,” you said, your voice steady. “They’re easier to overlook, which makes it simpler to take them without raising alarm. And if they’re young enough, they’re more vulnerable—less likely to fight back or escape.”
You paused, glancing around the room. “But it’s not just about control. Girls are often underestimated, even when they have powerful abilities. Someone like Maya, with her supersonic scream, or Ellie, who can manipulate fire—that kind of power in someone people don’t expect to be dangerous? It’s exactly what these people want. They can groom them into weapons without the same resistance they’d face from boys or adults.”
Ororo’s expression hardened as your words sank in, the room falling silent under the weight of the revelation.
Hank nodded solemnly. “Their methods align with that theory. The equipment and resources we’ve seen point to calculated, targeted operations.”
“We need to find Ellie,” Scott said, his tone resolute. “And we need to stop SAC and Killebrew before they take anyone else.”
Logan leaned back in his chair, his hand still resting lightly atop yours. “We gotta face something bigger” he began, his voice steady but edged with tension, “This wasn’t just random. The SAC, they’re mixed up in this probably alongside with CIA and Killebrew too. This ain’t the first time we’ve crossed paths with the man, he could be deep with all this.”
Scott’s scowl deepened, and he crossed his arms. “We’ve dealt with Killebrew before,” he said sharply. “There's not enough solid proof he was behind these new experiments. Just speculation. The man's old, he's running out of time.”
“Speculation doesn’t get us anywhere,” Ororo said softly, though her tone carried a distinct edge.
Jean leaned forward, her voice low. “If Killebrew is involved, we need to connect him to SAC and whoever else is funding these operations. Otherwise, we’ll just be chasing shadows again.”
Hank adjusted his glasses and sighed. “The attack on Maya and the equipment used tell us a lot. I analyzed the bike, custom made. It’s clear their resources are not only military-grade but could also specifically designed for counter-mutant operations. This suggests direct involvement from SAC, with Killebrew’s expertise likely supporting their goals.”
“What exactly are their goals, Hank?” Charles asked, his tone even but probing.
“From what we’ve gathered so far,” Hank said, his voice growing more serious, “it’s not just containment. SAC is using Killebrew’s methods to experiment on mutants. They’re trying to weaponize abilities. Think back to the enhanced weaponry we encountered—they’re taking mutant DNA and turning it into tools for warfare.”
A heavy silence followed as the weight of Hank’s words settled over the room.
Logan broke it, his voice rough. “We need to hit their base again. There’s gotta be somethin’ there—a lead, intel, anything. Webknow what we’re walkin’ into this time.”
Scott scoffed, his frustration bubbling over. “Yeah because this time nobody's gonna be harmed” His voice was sharp, his anger directed more at the situation than any one person.
Logan’s jaw clenched, but his voice stayed level. “Can you stop being such an asshole for five fucking minutes?” he said pointedly, as Scott referencing the recklessness of his and your recent off-mission behavior.
The tension between them was palpable, but before it could escalate, Charles raised a hand. “Enough,” he said firmly. His tone left no room for argument.
Jean quickly stepped in. “Let’s focus. We can’t afford to splinter as a team.”
Hank nodded, his voice steady. “Logan’s right. Returning to their base may provide us with the evidence we need to finally pin this on Killebrew and SAC. We should move quickly before they clear out any remaining traces.”
Ororo glanced at Charles. “And Maya?”
Charles’ face softened slightly, though his voice carried the weight of leadership. “We will lay her to rest in the garden this morning. She was one of us, and she deserves to be honored as such. Afterward, we’ll plan the mission in detail.”
The group exchanged solemn glances, unified in their grief but also in their determination.
Logan gave your hand a gentle squeeze before releasing it. “We’ll figure this out,” he said quietly, his gaze meeting yours for a fleeting moment.
The room fell into a heavy silence after Charles dismissed the team, his parting words lingering in the air. "Pay your respects for Maya soon. She deserves it." One by one, everyone stood, somber and weighed down by grief.
You pushed yourself to your feet, still clutching your arms around your body for some semblance of comfort. The ache in your chest was unbearable, making it hard to even look up at the others. Logan followed closely behind as you stepped toward the door. By the time you exited the room, his palm rested gently on your back.
The touch was warm, steady—an anchor in the storm you felt raging inside. A shiver ran down your spine, one you couldn’t suppress. His voice broke through the haze, low and calm, “You should eat something.”
The suggestion felt like an afterthought in your daze, but it stirred a faint awareness of the emptiness in your stomach. You were too weak to respond, too wrapped up in your own exhaustion, but Logan’s sharp ears caught the faint growl from your stomach.
His lips twitched slightly, just enough for you to catch the ghost of a smirk. “I could make omelette and potatoes,” he said casually, as though trying to lighten the mood. “Like that one time, huh?”
A faint memory surfaced—Logan fumbling in the kitchen, you relentlessly judging his cooking skills for making something so basic. You’d teased back then, earning a gruff chuckle and a sarcastic quip.
Now, despite the heaviness pressing down on you, a weak laugh escaped your lips. You glanced up at him, catching the faint amusement in his expression. His palm remained firm against your back, grounding you, while his other hand rested casually in his pocket.
But the small moment was shattered by a sharp voice from behind.
“Right, keep her tame like your little pet.” Scott’s words were venomous, startling you as you turned, not realizing he’d been walking behind you. Logan froze mid-step, his hand dropping from your back as he turned to face Scott.
“Whatddya said?” Logan’s voice was low, his tone barely controlled, carrying an edge that made you flinch.
Scott met his glare with one of his own, unflinching. “You heard me, I said keep her tame like you—”
Scott never got to finish. Logan’s fist flew faster than you could react, connecting with Scott’s jaw in a sickening crack. You flinched, your body tensing as the scene unfolded before you.
Scott staggered back, his hand shooting to his jaw as he scowled. Without hesitation, he retaliated, throwing a punch that caught Logan square on the nose. Blood trickled down, but Logan barely seemed to notice. Instead, he grabbed Scott by the jacket, pulling him close.
You swear you couldn't care less about their immature behavior, you got too much on your plate and barely enough energy to raise your voice for them to hear. “Please, just stop” you said weakly, stepping forward, but the two were frozen in place before you could intervene.
You blinked in confusion, your voice uncertain as you took a cautious step closer. “Logan?” you called, your concern palpable as you inspected their frozen forms. Logan’s hand remained clenched around Scott’s jacket, while Scott’s arm hovered mid-air, inches away from his visor.
From behind you, a familiar voice broke the tense silence, tinged with exasperation. “They’re getting too old for this,” Jean said dryly, stepping into view.
“Since when could you do that?” you asked, glancing back to see Jean emerging from the meeting room.
She shrugged, a faint smile tugging at her lips. “Professor taught me a while ago.” She clicked her tongue, strolling closer to inspect the scene. “Look at them.”
Despite yourself, a weak chuckle escaped. Jean nudged you lightly with her shoulder. “It’s kind of amusing,” you admitted, your voice soft but tinged with a hint of laughter.
Jean smirked, crossing her arms. “Aren’t they?”
Charles and Hank appeared from the hallway, both glancing at the spectacle before them. Charles sighed but didn’t stop strolling, his voice calm but firm. “Jean, let the poor gentlemen go.”
Hank shook his head but said nothing, following Charles without breaking stride. Jean tilted her head slightly, and in an instant, Logan and Scott were moving again.
Logan blinked, releasing his grip on Scott’s jacket as he stepped back. Scott stopped his arm mid-motion, lowering it reluctantly as he glared at Logan.
“Not cool,” Logan muttered toward Jean, his voice rough with irritation.
Jean just smirked, her attention already shifting. Logan turned back to you, his features softening immediately. “C’mon,” he said, tilting his head and gesturing for you to follow.
You clutched your arms tighter around yourself, your exhaustion evident as you walked to his side. His palm found its place on your back again, steady and comforting.
Jean and Scott trailed behind, their voices low.
“Are they together or something?” Scott whispered, his tone both bitter and curious.
Jean gave him a look, her lips curving into a faint smile. “I don’t know.”
Scott frowned, skeptical. “What do you mean you don’t know? You’re a telepath.”
Jean rolled her eyes, her smile widening as she glanced ahead at you and Logan. “Some things are better left unanswered, Scott.”
The garden was silent except for the soft rustling of leaves in the morning breeze. The students and staff of Xavier’s School had gathered in somber rows, faces etched with grief. The small tombstone stood freshly planted in the earth, its inscription simple yet heartbreaking:
Maya Fernandez
Gone but not forgotten.
You stared at it, the weight in your chest growing heavier with each passing second. The sound of Charles’s voice delivering a eulogy barely registered, muffled as though you were underwater. You couldn’t bring yourself to look anywhere else, not even as the team began to disperse after the ceremony.
Logan stood across from you, his arms crossed tightly, his sharp eyes fixed on your still figure. He hadn’t moved since the gathering started, lingering at a respectful distance but watching you closely.
One by one, the others left the garden, the sound of footsteps fading into the background. Ororo cast a last glance in your direction, her expression heavy with sympathy before walking away. Jean lingered for a moment, exchanging a look with Logan before she too left, leaving only the two of you standing there.
Logan’s boots crunched softly against the gravel as he approached. His presence was solid, grounding, but he hesitated as he neared you. His jaw worked, as though he was trying to find words, but nothing came out.
Finally, he stood by your side, silent. His hand hovered near your back before finally resting there, his touch tentative at first, seeking permission. When you didn’t flinch or pull away, his palm slid gently to the curve of your waist. The pressure was light but steady, a silent invitation to let him be there for you.
Without looking up to him, you stepped closer, leaning into his side. The movement was instinctive, your body desperate for some kind of support as your legs threatened to give out beneath you. Logan’s arm tightened around you slightly, anchoring you to him.
Your left arm reached around his back, clutching at the fabric of his shirt like a lifeline. The closeness sent a faint shiver down his spine, but he said nothing, letting you take what you needed. Your right hand rested against his chest, your fingers brushing over the soft shirt he wore as you wiped away tears that seemed endless.
“You're always have been the resilient one,” Logan murmured, voice low and rough but carrying a gentleness.
You shook your head. “Not today.”
He exhaled deeply, his hand moving in small, soothing circles against your waist. “And that’s okay,” he said quietly.
The words, simple as they were, broke through the dam holding back your emotions. You buried your face against his chest, muffling the quiet sobs that racked your body. Logan stayed still, his broad frame solid against you, his warmth a shield against the cold weight of grief.
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By the time darkness had fallen, the team was already prepared for a calculated mission to find Ellie, putting the grief of Maya aside to save, hopefully, the living one. You'd picked a twin pair of handguns—glossy black—safely secured in their holsters.
The Blackbird took off as usual, with Hank in the pilot’s seat and Ororo co-piloting. Logan, as always, secured his favorite spot next to you on the long bench in the cabin, various straps holding his broad frame in place.
However, unlike the rest of the team, Logan wasn’t dressed in the usual black suit—no tactical gear, no uniform. He just sat there in a pair of jeans and a simple black shirt alongside with black leather jacket, like he didn’t have a single care in the world.
Scott eyed him, his lips twitching in mild exasperation. "You're seriously not going to wear the team gear?" he asked, an eyebrow arched.
Logan shot him a quick glance, his usual smirk playing at the corners of his lips. "Nah. Don't need it."
"Party pooper," Scott muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes.
Logan didn’t bother responding, keeping his focus on the mission ahead.
It was a smooth takeoff at first, but soon heavy clouds began shaking the Blackbird. Despite its sophisticated technology, it couldn’t fully defy nature's might. The turbulence wasn’t unfamiliar to you, but the violent tremors made even you a bit uneasy. Your mutation would protect you if anything happened, but you couldn't help wishing this particular flight would remain incident-free. After all, this plane carried the only people you truly cared about in your half-century of life.
You glanced toward the cockpit. Hank’s normally calm demeanor was strained as he gave Ororo instructions, his voice steady but clipped. Ororo nodded, adjusting the controls to lower the jet and avoid the worst of the storm. Their calm professionalism grounded you, even as the turbulence worsened.
Jean and Scott sat across from you and Logan. Scott’s expression was unreadable behind those glasses, his posture relaxed as though turbulence were just a minor inconvenience. Jean, gripping her seatbelt casually, seemed equally unbothered. Your gaze drifted left to Logan, though, and what you saw surprised you.
His eyes were shut tight, his jaw clenched, and his hands gripped the safety straps like they were his lifeline. A sheen of sweat glistened on his forehead, and his normally robust complexion had turned pale. His lips were pressed together so hard they almost disappeared.
He was scared. That was new.
“For someone who can’t die, you kinda sucks at it,” you quipped, hoping to lighten the mood.
Logan’s eyes snapped open, meeting yours, but the stress etched into his features didn’t soften. The lines on his forehead deepened as he shook his head silently, a clear sign he wasn’t in the mood for your jokes.
Realizing you’d misread the situation, you softened your tone. “It’s just a little turbulence,” you said, trying to reassure him, but the jet betrayed you as another violent jolt rocked the cabin. Logan grunted, his grip tightening on the straps.
“Little’s a strong word,” he muttered through gritted teeth, his knuckles white from the pressure of his grip. His breathing grew short and shallow, a rhythm that immediately set off alarms in your mind.
“Logan, breathe,” you said gently, leaning closer. His eyes locked onto yours, and you exaggerated a deep, steady breath, silently urging him to follow. Slowly, he began to mimic you, his breathing evening out with each deliberate inhale and exhale. Another slight shake hit the jet, but this time he managed to stay calm, his breathing steady under your watchful gaze.
You nodded to him, and he returned the gesture before breaking eye contact, his hands finally relaxing their death grip on the straps. He let them slide down to rest on his thighs, his shoulders sagging as some tension left his body.
Then another violent jolt struck, causing Logan’s hands to clench into fists on his thighs. You caught snippets of conversation from the cockpit as Hank and Ororo discussed a change in altitude to escape the worst of the storm. Acting on instinct, you placed your hand over Logan’s right arm, the one gripping his thigh.
His gaze darted to your hand, a flicker of surprise and, perhaps, gratitude flashing across his face. Almost immediately, his grip relaxed, his arm going still under your touch. You rubbed small circles on his forearm with your thumb, a soothing motion that seemed to anchor him further.
From across the cabin, Jean caught your eye, her expression laced with quiet amusement. She smiled softly, and you pressed your lips into a thin line, feeling warmth creeping up your neck. You quickly shifted your focus back to Logan, whose arm beneath your palm now felt steadier, the tension in his body beginning to ebb away.
Jean turned slightly, nudging Scott with her shoulder. Without speaking, she sent him a telepathic message: "They’re going to end up together by the end of the week."
Scott glanced at her, raising an eyebrow in amusement. His thoughts answered hers with a teasing tone: "End of the week? Please. I give it forty-eight hours."
Jean raised an eyebrow back at him, her lips twitching in a restrained smile. "Oh yeah? Wanna bet?" The spark of challenge in her tone was unmistakable.
Scott smirked, meeting her gaze. "Sure. If I win, I’m picking the next Saturday movie night."
Jean’s nose wrinkled in mock disgust. "Ugh, not a three-hour boring war movies. Fine, but if I win, we’re going on a picnic Sunday morning. No excuses."
Scott tilted his head, feigning consideration before nodding. "Deal."
Their expressions mirrored a conspiratorial delight, both barely containing their amusement as they exchanged a subtle smile. Scott leaned back, looking smug, while Jean cast another knowing glance in your direction.
Neither you nor Logan noticed the silent exchange, too absorbed in the moment between you. Logan’s grip had relaxed completely now, and your thumb instinctively moved in small circles over his arm. Whatever storm lingered inside him seemed to settle under your touch.
Jean fought the urge to laugh, her amusement evident as she leaned slightly toward Scott. Telepathically, she added: "Better start picking your movie, Summers."
Scott's response came swiftly, with equal confidence. "Better packing that picnic basket, Grey."
The rough flight to the SAC headquarters had unsettled the team, though Logan hid it better than most. The turbulence seemed almost symbolic, foreshadowing the chaos they were about to face. When the Blackbird finally touched down, everyone was tense but laser-focused. Logan led the charge during the initial infiltration, his claws carving a silent, efficient path through the guards. Behind him, Ororo and Scott cleared the way for Hank and Jean to access the facility's systems. You followed suit, the rhythm of combat grounding you in the moment.
The team split up for efficiency. You found yourself alone, navigating the sterile hallways. The lab doors loomed ahead, and when you stepped inside, a sight far worse than you'd imagined greeted you.
Stacks of files and records lined the walls, their labels clinical and cold: Mutation Experimentation Logs, Specimen Decommission Reports. You hesitated, dread coiling in your gut. Pulling out a file at random, you scanned the contents, each word cutting deeper than the last.
The SAC wasn’t just experimenting on mutants—it was cross-breeding them with animals to create grotesque hybrids. Descriptions of failed experiments leaped off the page, detailing lives spent in agony before termination. Your breath hitched as you stumbled across a photo clipped to the file: a child, no older than ten, with reptilian scales covering half her body. The caption read: Deceased – Subject incompatible with human host.
Your hand trembled as you shut the file and grabbed another. This one bore a name you recognized—Ivan Sokolov. A pit formed in your stomach as your eyes skimmed through the familiar handwriting: Killebrew's.
"Subject terminated following loss of viability due to prolonged suppression of mutation. Will be sent to battlefield without request for funds. Further trials planned with new candidates."
The words blurred for a moment, but your gaze snapped back to a single phrase that sent a chill down your spine: "prolonged suppression of mutation."
Mutation? Ivan was a mutant?
Your breath caught, your pulse pounding as you scrambled to reread the lines, searching for anything that might explain. Ivan, your closest friend in that desolate sea of blood and cruelty, had never hinted at being anything other than human. He hadn’t had the enhanced strength or agility some mutants wore like badges. He hadn’t shown any signs of powers you could remember.
The realization struck like a thunderbolt—he never told you. Or perhaps, he couldn't. The military had kept his secret, used him just as they had used you. But why? What was his mutation? Questions clawed at your mind, unanswered and unanswerable, now that Ivan was gone.
Your vision blurred as you returned to the file, flipping through pages frantically. Buried amidst the clinical notes was a vague mention: "Unidentified genetic anomaly. Presumed linked to cognitive augmentation." Cognitive augmentation? Your chest tightened. Ivan had always been the strategist, the one who saw patterns, who seemed to anticipate moves before they happened.
The finality of Killebrew’s words—discarded like so many others—hit you with full force. He wasn’t just a casualty of war. He had been erased, his humanity stripped away in the same cruel experiments that had stolen so many others.
Ivan had been a flicker of light in your darkness, the anchor that kept you grounded when the horrors of the battlefield threatened to swallow you whole. And now, that light was snuffed out, leaving you alone with the knowledge of the secret he had carried to his grave.
Your hands shook as you shut the file. But this time, it wasn’t just grief. It was rage—cold, seething, unrelenting rage. Ivan had deserved better. They all had.
A sound behind you snapped you out of your daze. Whirling around, you saw Logan emerging from another hallway, flanked by four wide-eyed children. Their faces were pale, their thin bodies trembling with fear.
"There's more?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
"Another batch of kids these bastards managed to catch," Logan growled, his tone a mix of rage and quiet grief. “Still no sign of Ellie.”
Your jaw tightened. “Take them back to the jet. I'll keep looking.”
Logan's eyes narrowed. "Not alone, you're not."
“Logan,” you said firmly, your eyes locking with his. “They need you more than I do. I’ll manage.”
He stared at you for a moment, torn between arguing and trusting you. Finally, he relented. “Fine. Be careful.”
You nodded and moved past him, your steps purposeful despite the storm of emotions churning inside you.
Deeper into the facility, you found another lab, and your heart sank at the sight. Ellie sat inside a cage, her small frame curled up in a corner. A thick collar rested around her neck—the same mutation-suppressing device you knew all too well. Her tear-streaked face lifted at the sound of the door opening, and your chest tightened.
“Ellie
” you whispered, stepping closer, but your movement was halted by a voice that sent ice down your spine.
“They found a way to unlock your collar,” Killebrew said, emerging from the shadows with a smug smile. “Still playing the hero, them disgusting mutants band messed with your head.”
Your fists clenched at your sides. “Let her go.”
Killebrew ignored your demand, circling the room with calculated steps. “Do you ever stop to think, my dear? Everyone who comes near you ends up dead. Ivan. Your father. Your mother. You’re a curse.”
The mention of your parents made you freeze. “What did you say?”
He tilted his head, his smirk widening. “Your father’s betrayal was just the beginning, wasn’t it? But your mother—oh, she broke after his death. I heard she didn’t last long. A few months, maybe?”
The words sliced through you, but you refused to show weakness. “What did you do to Ivan?!” you hissed.
Killebrew chuckled, leaning casually against the workstation. “Face it—you’re nothing but a harbinger of death to those around you. Maybe your new guy can’t die this time, but I suspect something far worse than death is already creeping up on him. The big bad Wolverine with fire and flesh... Oh, they call you ‘Hollow’ now, don’t they? I have to admit, you two make such an exquisite pair.”
Rage boiled over. With a growl, you launched yourself at him. The fight was vicious, Killebrew surprisingly agile for his age. He dodged your first swing, reaching for a scalpel, but you knocked it away. As the scuffle continued, you kicked over the cage holding Ellie, breaking it open.
“Run!” you shouted at her. “Find the others!”
Ellie hesitated, her wide eyes darting between you and Killebrew. “Go!” you yelled, your voice raw. Finally, she bolted, disappearing into the hallway.
Killebrew used the distraction to strike, slamming a piece of equipment into your side. Pain flared, but you ignored it, throwing yourself back into the fight with renewed fury.
Ellie stumbled into Scott first. “I found her!” he called into the comms. “She’s alive, but we need to move. Everyone, back to the Blackbird!”
Jean and Hank joined quickly, carrying armfuls of documents. By the time they reached the jet, Logan was already there with the other children, his expression dark and searching.
“Where is she?” Logan barked, his eyes scanning the group. When no one answered, he yelled your name.
“She’ll manage,” Scott said firmly, strapping in. “We can’t risk the kids.”
Logan’s jaw tightened, his rage simmering just below the surface. “Fine,” he snapped, storming out of the jet. Jean called after him, but he ignored her, leaping down and heading back toward the facility.
“Logan, wait!” she yelled again, but he was already gone.
Scott shook his head. “Start the engines,” he ordered, leaving no room for debate. The roar of the Blackbird filled the air as Logan disappeared into the woods, determined to bring you back.
That old age isn’t lying; Killebrew is slow and can’t put up with your fight for so long. You manage to tie him to the laboratory chair with cable and some rope—god knows for what. His ridiculous face whining in pain and gray hair striking under the harsh light is absolutely amusing.
You shake your head, the view is amusing, but you can’t shake the question out of your system. What the fuck happened to Ivan? So you pull a chair and sit across from him.
“What’d you do to Ivan?” you manage to ask calmly, despite the raging storm.
“Injected him with the formula I bought from Russia. It was so expensive, he was practically a waste of funds.”
“Waste of fucking funds?!” You grunt in disgust. “Why didn’t he ever tell me? Why didn’t you?”
Killebrew shakes his head, confused. “Tell you what?!” he yells in frustration.
“That he was a mutant?! All this time, I thought he was human. Some random guy that got tangled under the filthy US government military that he probably didn’t even know half of what was going on. And I just fucking find out he’s one of your projects, just like me. Why’d you keep it from me?” you cry in frustration.
Killebrew’s brows narrow together. “Why on earth would I fucking tell you that? I’m rather surprised he didn’t tell you,” he says, leaning back with the slightest grin forming on his lips.
You shake your head. Of course, he didn’t fucking care. And here you are, thinking he kept it all away for a reason, but it’s all on Ivan. He didn’t tell you anything, and you thought you knew him, only to be proven that you didn’t know him at all, years after he was gone.
You sit in silence, letting this new fact that alters a big part of your life sink in. Your head feels heavy, and it suddenly drops as you look at the floor.
A whole year, maybe even a little more than that, you were stationed together. Sure, a year is a pretty short time to get to know someone new, but it’s a different case when the only time you didn’t see each other was a week out of that one year. You and Ivan, alongside ten other human soldiers—or at least you thought they were human because now Ivan has you questioning everything—were stationed under that sergeant whose name you can barely remember. But you remember every minute you spent with Ivan.
He told you his father was in the military. It was a common ground that instantly clicked between you two. You remembered his witty jokes: “What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this? I bet ten dollars your father served.” To which you instantly replied, “And I bet you twenty your pops also served.” That day, you lost ten dollars but also gained another ten.
He’s from Montana, he told you that. His father served in the military and wanted him to be a real man and serve their country for being so kind to them as refugees. His father used to say their family owed America their lives, which you both laughed your asses off at. Owing America your life... what a shithole nightmare of a life to live.
He left Russia when he was six and never came back. He told you that. He pretty much fucking told you everything about his life because none of the other ten soldiers were fun to talk to. You did the same thing—told him pretty much everything about your life, even the experiments Killebrew had done and how they affected you. He had shared his sincere apology to you for it, but that was all.
You two lived the same life. He never told you that part. He never told you he was also an experiment, someone whose choices were taken and rights violated?
“So, Ivan’s father also sold his son to you?” you ask, finally breaking the heavy silence and lifting your head.
“Sold? He volunteered,” Killebrew says.
Before you can speak, Killebrew opens his mouth again. “It was because of you. He adored your ability and wanted to have what you have. That one week off, when all of Sergeant Cooper’s soldiers were sent back to regroup, Ivan willingly came to me. His body just rejected it.”
Your breath comes in shallow at another heartbreaking piece of information dropped like some atomic bomb on your head. What the actual fuck? Why would he fucking do that? His blood is actually on your hands? Gosh, he’s so fucking stupid—you should never have told him about your experiment.
You’re upset, angry about his decision. You can’t wrap your head around it. Just why? You feel like throwing the chair across the room. Your hands go up to your head, massaging your temples, then rest on your thighs as you bend slightly forward in the chair.
Oh. My. Fucking. God.
As you’re distracted, too busy controlling your breath, Killebrew slips himself free with a piece of broken glass hidden under his white coat sleeve. He cuts the knot on his hand and lunges at you, stabbing you in the neck with the glass.
You scream in pain as he frees himself from the other knot. Your hand instinctively covers the stab wound, carefully pulling the glass out and letting your skin knit itself back together.
He runs toward one of the lab’s drawers and opens a metal door. You try to chase him but stop in horror at the sight of what he grabs.
A mutation inhibitor collar.
“One step closer, and you won’t fucking survive this time, bitch!” he spits, holding the collar out toward you as you stand a few steps away, raising your hands smartly to avoid getting caught in that shit again.
Fuck him.
You run toward him and lunge, knocking him in the stomach until his body drops with a loud thud onto the floor. You pin him in place, and he drops the collar.
Combat isn’t your strong suit, but right now, you want nothing more than to punch him bare in the face. Your fist curls, and you land a fat punch straight to his nose. He grunts in pain and manages to grab a piece of steel, smashing it into your head.
The fight isn't over. You slam Killebrew's head into the wall with a sickening thud, his skull making contact with the concrete. ĐĐ” lets out a sharp cry of pain, but you don't stop. You keep smashing his head, again and again, until there's a small pool of blood trickling from the back of his skull. He slumps against the wall, his body barely staying upright, but still conscious.
Footsteps approach. Logan walks in, his gaze immediately locking onto the scene. He stops just in time to see you standing over Killebrew, his figure now small and pitiful, sitting and leaning against the wall, panting heavily.
"Hey," Logan calls your name softly. You turn at the sound of his voice. His expression softens when he sees you, his eyes scanning you for any sign of injury. "You okay?"
You nod, not trusting yourself to speak. His hand reaches for your shoulder briefly, giving you a comforting squeeze.
Logan looks down at Killebrew, who's still breathing heavily, his face twisted in pain. "Look at you two," Killebrew sneers, his voice ragged. "Gonna outlive every single person you knew on this earth, until nobody's left but the two of you. A match made in hell, an eternal damnation."
Logan glances at you, and you start walking away. He follows, his voice lowering. "Aren't you gonna finish the job?" he asks.
You shake your head. "Let him suffer."
Logan steps in front of you, halting your progress. "Woah, woah, what if someone finds him and rescues him?" He looks at you, concern flashing in his eyes.
You pause, eyes flickering to Killebrew as he struggles for breath. "If I kill him, I'm just proving his point," you murmur, voice barely above a whisper.
"You're not what he created," Logan's gaze softens as he processes your words. He nods in understanding. "If he survives, he won't stop."
"I know," you sigh, running a hand through your hair. "You might think I'm crazy, but I just... I'm proving this to myself. That I'm much better than him." Your gaze falls to the floor, your emotions a mess.
Logan steps closer, his breath steady, his tone gentle. "Do you want him dead?"
"Logan, I-"
"It's a yes or no question," he says cutting you off, more firm now, his voice low but unwavering.
You take a deep breath. "Yeah." You sigh, the word heavy on your chest.
Without another word, Logan walks past you, his figure casting a shadow over Killebrew's beaten form. He kneels down in front of Killebrew and curls his fist, bringing it to the man's chest. His claws emerge with a sharp, unmistakable snikt, and without hesitation, he stabs them right into Killebrew's heart.
The life drains from Killebrew's eyes, and his body goes limp. Logan pulls his claws out, the blood dripping slowly down his wrist. He retracts them, wiping his other palm across the blood-stained hand without a care in the world.
He stands up and looks at you, your eyes flickering with something, gratitude, maybe. He approaches you, his hand warm as it rests gently on your back.
"C'mon," he says softly. "Let's get outta here."
You nod, and together, you walk away, leaving the body of Killebrew behind.
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The two of you walk down a desolate road, surrounded by dense woods whose name you don't even know. Glancing at your watch, you note it's half-past midnight. You still can’t believe Logan had no better plan for getting back to the mansion than walking. It’s freezing, and the single piece of black leather you’re wearing does nothing to help. And now, left alone with Logan again, you can’t ignore the awkwardness lingering between you two.
A question drums against your skull, one you’ve yet to address properly. You cringe at the thought of saying it out loud, but it keeps circling in your mind.
What the hell are we?
Maybe drop the "hell"—just what are we? Dear god, it sounds absolutely pathetic. Maybe Logan does this often, y’know, the casual thing. You’re not against it, but the idea doesn’t sit right with you. Especially since, well
 it’s Logan. He gave you the best head you’ve ever had.
Or maybe it’s better left as is. No strings, no drama. No breakups, no obligations. Nobody gets left behind because there wasn’t anything to fulfill in the first place.
The two of you keep walking down the road. A few cars pass by, and Logan halfheartedly sticks his thumb out for a ride. You quickly point out that it’s not the brightest idea.
Then, a light catches your eye—a building, glowing in the dark with a bright orange sign. "You hungry?" you ask, nudging Logan with your shoulder and nodding toward the diner across the road, about a hundred yards away.
Katz Diner, the sign reads, gleaming through the gloom of night.
"We don’t have any money," Logan says, his boots crunching against the gravel.
"You don’t have any money," you reply, reaching into the pocket of your holster and pulling out two neatly folded hundred-dollar bills.
Logan scoffs, clearly amused. "You’re carryin’ cash around on a mission?"
"What? This is a survival kit." You flash him a wide smile, and his husky chuckle follows, warm and familiar against the cold night air.
The two of you finally make it to the diner, your steps quickening as the glowing orange sign promises warmth and food. But as you reach the glass door, the truth dawns on you. A "CLOSED" sign hangs in clear view, mocking your misplaced hope. You groan, your breath fogging up the glass as you clutch yourself against the biting cold.
"Asshole," you mutter under your breath, shivering as you glare at the locked door.
Logan glances down at you, his expression unreadable except for that flicker of mischief in his eyes. Without a word, you already know what he’s about to do.
"Logan, don’t—"
Before you can finish, his fist smashes through the glass. You flinch at the sound, but Logan barely reacts, calmly reaching through the jagged shards to unlock the door. Pushing it open, he gestures for you to go in first.
"You’ll have to leave the hundred bucks on a table," he says, stepping aside with a smirk.
You roll your eyes, walking past him into the dark, empty diner.
"We’re gonna get arrested," you tease, glancing around the quiet interior. Your gaze catches a red light from CCTV camera mounted in the corner of the ceiling.
"But maybe if there’s no footage," you quip, pulling your gun from its holster.
The loud crack of the gunshot shatters the stillness, and Logan startles, snapping his head toward you. "Geez, give a guy some warning, will ya?"
"Where’s the fun in that?" you reply with a grin, holstering your weapon as you take stock of the diner.
Behind the counter, you push open the swinging door to the kitchen. A quick glance around reveals a treasure trove of ingredients—raw chicken, beef, potatoes, eggs, butter, pasta, tomatoes, sausages, bacon, and more.
"Jackpot," you mutter, pulling a few items off the shelves.
Logan steps into the kitchen, leaning against the counter as you inspect the food. "You planning to cook or hoard?"
You toss a bag of potatoes at him, which he catches with ease. "Both," you shoot back.
Within minutes, the two of you are working side by side, a light banter filling the room as you chop, stir, and fry. Logan handles the meat, seasoning and grilling the chicken and bacon with surprising skill. Meanwhile, you focus on the carbs, boiling pasta and mashing potatoes.
"You're getting better with that," you remark, watching as Logan flips the bacon in a pan.
"Had to learn," he replies with a shrug. "Ain't gonna risk the chance of you callin' my meal closer to inedible, again..."
You chuckle recalling your own joke to him "I really did hit a nerve there huh?" you tease.
Logan smirks, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye. "Wound still fresh"
The playful tone lingers in the air as you finish cooking, the warm scent of food filling the room. You walk from the kitchen to the table first, balancing your plate carefully, eager to sit and eat. But as you place it down, Logan appears behind you like a shadow, plate in hand, following without a word.
You turn back toward the kitchen, remembering your forgotten glass of water, and nearly crash into him. You freeze as he blocks your way, standing so close that you feel his warmth against the cold air of the diner. Startled, you glance up, and for a brief moment, his heavy, tired eyes bore into yours. It’s like he’s seeing through you, and you’re not sure if you want to look away or keep holding his gaze.
The tension breaks awkwardly as you both shift to move, but in the same direction, cutting each other off. You chuckle nervously. "You want water?"
Logan’s lips twitch into a soft smile, rare and disarming. "Yeah."
You gesture to his right, stepping aside to give him space. "Okay, I’ll go this way, you go that way," you say, slipping past him and retreating to grab two glasses.
Your breath feels shaky as you fill the glasses, your mind stuck on that split-second where he had looked at you. Only if he knew how much he was affecting you, how much you couldn’t shake the feeling of his eyes on you.
When you return, Logan is already seated, waiting. You slide the glass to his side of the table, his quiet "Thanks" breaking the silence as you take your seat.
You eat in silence at first, avoiding his gaze, your eyes fixed on your plate. The chicken looks unappetizing, under-seasoned and bland, but you tell yourself it’s fine—you’ve had worse.
Logan, on the other hand, occasionally glances up from his plate to you. His fork pauses midway to his mouth as he studies you, the way your focus stays locked on your food, the way you keep your head down.
Finally, he speaks. "Y’alright?" His voice is steady, cutting through the quiet scrape of utensils against plates.
You shrug without looking up. "Yeah."
Your gaze shifts to the window beside you, the yellow streetlight casting a faint glow against the black of night. It’s easier to stare at that than at him. After a moment, you bring your attention back to your plate, but the awkward weight of his question still lingers in the air.
Logan’s fork clinks softly as he sets it down, leaning back in the booth. His sharp eyes don’t leave you. "What’s wrong?" he asks again, his voice gentler this time, but persistent.
"Nothing," you reply quickly, a little too quickly, cutting another piece of your chicken as though focusing on the task would shield you from his gaze.
He doesn’t let it go. "Look at me," he grumbles, his tone low but firm, the kind that makes your hand freeze mid-motion.
You hesitate, but eventually tilt your head, meeting his eyes. They’re heavy with something you can’t quite put into words—concern, maybe frustration, but most of all, care.
"What’s wrong?" he repeats, this time softer, your name slipping from his lips like an anchor, grounding you.
You hate that. Hate how much his concern cuts through your walls, hate the way it makes your chest tighten. It’s unbearable, so you break the contact, dropping your gaze back to your plate.
"I don’t know," you admit, your voice small, barely above a whisper. You spear the last bite of chicken and shove it into your mouth, hoping to end the conversation.
But Logan doesn’t move. He doesn’t pick his fork back up, doesn’t shift his attention elsewhere. You can feel him watching you, his patience unnerving.
"You do," he mutters, his voice calm but resolute.
You glance up briefly, your brow furrowing. "No, I don’t," you insist, the words coming out sharper than you intended.
Logan leans forward slightly, resting his forearms on the edge of the table. "You’re not a good liar, y’know that?"
The corner of your mouth twitches, but you don’t let the smile break through. "Guess I need more practice."
His lips quirk in a faint smile, but his eyes remain serious. "You don’t need practice. You need to talk."
You shake your head, suddenly feeling exposed under his unwavering attention. "Not now, Logan. Can we just
 drop it?"
For a moment, it seems like he might push further, but then he exhales heavily, leaning back again. "Fine," he says, though his tone suggests he’s not letting it go forever.
You stood up quickly, desperate to put some space between you and Logan, the weight of everything hanging in the air. You felt a mix of frustration, confusion, and something you couldn’t quite place. But before you could walk away, his voice stopped you.
"Hey."
You froze, heart pounding, and turned to face him. His eyes were locked onto you, steady and unyielding. He reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out your mother’s necklace, holding it out to you. The sight of it hit you like a punch to the gut, and you could barely process it.
Your breath caught in your throat as you stepped closer. "Where the hell did you find that?" you demanded, your voice coming out shakier than you intended as you snatched the necklace from his arm.
"Your bathroom’s floor," Logan said, his tone almost too casual, like it was no big deal. A smirk tugged at his lips, but there was no hint of apology.
"My bathroom’s floor?" You repeated, disbelief taking over. You could feel your anger rising, the frustration bubbling up. "What the fuck, Logan? Why the hell would you put it in your pocket?!"
Logan's eyes narrowed, and he shifted, standing up from the booth in one smooth motion. He was inches from you now, his body tense with frustration. "Jesus, calm down. It’s just a necklace."
"Just a necklace?" You snapped, voice rising. "It’s my mother’s! You don’t just take things and shove them in your pocket like it doesn’t matter!"
You stood there, fury coursing through your veins, your heart pounding in your chest as Logan continued to stand in front of you. He looked almost unbothered, his stance relaxed, but his eyes—his eyes were anything but.
"You always do this," you said, stepping closer, your voice low but trembling with frustration. "You make me feel like I’m the one losing my mind while you—" you gestured sharply at him, "just stand there like nothing’s wrong!"
Logan’s jaw tightened, his hands curling into loose fists at his sides. "And you think I’m not losing my mind too? You think I don’t feel this—" he waved vaguely between you both, his voice rising, "whatever the hell this is?"
"This?" you shot back, your chest tightening. "This is you pushing and pulling untill I don’t even know where I stand with you!"
His laugh was bitter, almost a scoff. "Yeah? Well, try being on this side of it. Try waking up every day thinking—" He stopped abruptly, his words catching, and his eyes darted away.
"Thinking what?" you demanded, stepping closer. "Say it, Logan. For once, just say it!"
His head snapped back toward you, and his voice dropped, low and rough, like he was forcing the words out. "Thinking that if I get too close, I’m gonna ruin you. And if I stay away, I’ll hate myself for the rest of my goddamn life."
The air between you felt like it might break. Your pulse pounded in your ears, but you couldn’t look away from him.
"Then what do you want me to do?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
Logan’s lips parted, but the words seemed to stick, his throat working as he searched for something to say.
"Stay," he murmured raw and pleading. "For once in your damn life, just stay."
You shake your head hesitantly. "Why?" Your voice barely above a whisper, your eyes stinging as you fight back tears.
Logan steps closer, the warmth of his body radiating toward you. His gaze searches your face as if memorizing every detail, etching it into his mind.
"Because we need each other," he says, his voice rough but steady. "You and I... we can be quite destructive on our own. But together—" he pauses, his jaw tightening as if the words are caught in his throat, "we cancel that out."
Your fingers tighten around the heart-shaped pendant in your hand. He reaches for you, his touch impossibly gentle, and you resist, unwilling to let go of this fragile barrier. But the tenderness in his hand disarms you, and slowly, your grip softens.
Logan carefully takes the necklace, holding it as though it’s something sacred. His gaze softens as it locks onto yours. "I've been the best version of myself when I'm with you. And I think—no, I know—you feel the same."
He steps behind you, his movements slow, deliberate, as he fastens the necklace around your neck. You close your eyes, his nearness overwhelming. The familiar scent of him—leather, smoke, and something distinctly Logan—wraps around you, grounding you and pulling you apart at the same time.
"Tell me I’m wrong, and I’ll stop," he says softly.
You don’t answer. Words fail you as his fingers brush the back of your neck and lift your ponytail for adjusting the clasp. Your breath catches when his hand grazes your waist, the touch featherlight but enough to send a shiver down your spine.
His voice drops, barely audible. "Just one chance. That’s all I’m asking."
You lean into his touch despite yourself, your head tilting slightly as his breath warms the curve of your neck. When his lips hover, hesitating, your resolve weakens entirely.
"Logan..." you whisper, though you’re not sure what you’re asking for.
He exhales sharply, the sound laced with longing. His palm rests firmly on your waist, and his other hand grazes the zipper of your suit. Your heart pounds as he begins to pull it down, his touch deliberate and maddeningly slow.
Unable to take the tension any longer, you turn to face him, the suit unzipped halfway. His hands find your waist again as you rest yours on his shoulders, grounding yourself against the storm building between you.
"What do you want?" you ask, your voice trembling as his forehead touches yours, his nose brushing against you in the smallest, softest gesture.
"You," he breathes. "I want you."
His hand cups your jaw, his thumb brushing your skin with a gentleness that sends heat spiraling through your chest. Before either of you can think twice, you close the gap, your lips crashing into his.
Logan kisses you back with equal intensity, his lips moving against yours in a way that feels both desperate and certain. It’s messy, passionate, and utterly consuming. When your tongue slips past his lips, he meets it eagerly, a low growl escaping his throat.
Without warning, a wild thought flickers through your mind, and you bite down on his bottom lip hard enough to hurt and leave an impression. Logan pulls back with a sharp inhale, his eyes wide with surprise.
You grin, mischief playing on your lips as you watch the small wound heal almost instantly. He licks the blood from his lip tasting the iron.
He cooed "Easy there" the corner of his mouth curving into a smirk.
You grab his wrist after he moves to wipe the blood away and bring his finger to your lips. Slowly, deliberately, you lick the crimson from his skin, your eyes never leaving his.
Logan lets out a low, disbelieving chuckle. "You’re gonna be the death of me," he growls, his voice thick with desire.
"Then I’ll make sure it’s slow and satisfying," you reply, your voice a whisper dripping with challenge.
He doesn’t give you a chance to say anything else, his lips crashing into yours again, hungrier this time. His hands grip your waist, pulling you closer, and you feel his body tense against yours as if holding himself back from unraveling completely.
"Logan," you moan against his lips.
"Say it again," he murmurs, his voice raw as his lips trail down to the edge of your jaw.
Your breath stutters. "Logan..."
The way he reacts, the way his name seems to break something inside him, sends your heart spiraling.
Logan pulls back suddenly, his gaze darting to something behind the counter. His expression is unreadable as he peeks over, making you furrow your brows in confusion.
“Logan, what—?” you start, but before you can finish, a familiar tune blasts through the speakers.
'I could stay awake... just to hear you breathing... Watchin’ you smile while you are sleeping.'
Your eyes widen as you recognize the opening chords of Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing by Aerosmith fill the room.
Logan steps back toward you, a mischievous grin on his face. With a slow, deliberate motion, he extends his arm, inviting you to take it.
“What are you doing?” you ask, half-laughing, but you instinctively reach out, letting him guide your hand to his.
“Dance with me,” he says confidently, his tone leaving no room for argument.
You let out a disbelieving chuckle, shaking your head but allowing him to pull you closer.
“Didn’t take you for a sucker of romance,” you tease, laughing softly as he spins you around the empty diner.
His movements are surprisingly smooth, his hand guiding yours to his shoulder while the other stays firmly at your waist. “Yeah, well,” he smirks, “I don’t even know how to dance.”
“Sure you don’t,” you reply with a grin, noticing how effortlessly he leads.
'Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure.....'
As the music swells, your eyes meet his, and the warmth in his gaze makes your chest tighten. This song—it hits every nerve just right. And then, as if on cue, the two of you burst out in unison:
“Don’t wanna close my eyes
”
Your voice is off-key, and so is his, but neither of you care. You’re singing with abandon, your joy filling the room.
“I don’t wanna fall asleep, ‘cause I’ll miss you, babe!”
Logan laughs, a deep, husky sound that makes your stomach flutter, and you can’t help but join in.
“And I don’t wanna miss a thing!”
You yell out the lyrics, your voices echoing through the diner. Logan suddenly lifts you off your feet, spinning you around, and you shriek with laughter, clinging to his shoulders.
“‘Cause even when I dream of you
” Logan sings the line. You laugh so hard tears prick your eyes.
“The sweetest dream will never do
”
You quiet down, your smile fading into something more genuine as he carries you in a slow, swaying circle.
“I’d still miss you, babe
”
Your chest tightens, emotion welling up as you press closer, resting your forehead against his.
“And I don’t wanna miss a thing,” you whisper, your voice shaky.
Logan’s grin softens, and he pulls you even closer. His chin rests gently on top of your head as the two of you move in slow, easy steps to the rhythm of the song. Your hand squeezes his arm, and you close your eyes, letting the moment take over.
The beat of his heart is steady beneath your ear, grounding you. His hand at your waist tightens, his touch warm and reassuring. For the first time in a long time, everything feels right—no fights, no pain, just the two of you and this perfect, fleeting moment.
'Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we’re together, And I just wanna stay with you, In this moment forever, forever and ever.'
The song continues to pour through the diner speakers as the two of you move in slow, deliberate steps. You pull your head away from Logan’s chest, your eyes flickering with unspoken gratitude. He holds your gaze, leaning in closer, and brushes his lips against yours in a soft, tender kiss.
Outside the diner, across the road, Scott and Jean stand in their gear, clearly fresh from their mission. Ellie and the children have been safely returned to the mansion, and with the tracker embedded in your suit, it wasn’t hard for them to find you and Logan in the middle of nowhere.
What they didn’t expect was
 this.
Under the diner’s bright lights and with its large glass windows, you and Logan are clearly visible, completely absorbed in each other.
Scott lets out an incredulous sigh, shaking his head. “Unbelievable,” he mutters.
Jean chuckles, nudging him playfully. “Man, can’t believe we both lost this one,” Scott grumbles.
Jean smirks. “Lovebirds,” she teases, crossing her arms as they continue watching the scene unfold.
Scott huffs, stepping off the curb. “Alright, let’s break this up.”
The two of them approach the diner, standing awkwardly just outside the glass. They exchange a glance, silently debating what to do. Finally, Scott knocks loudly on the glass, startling you both mid-kiss.
You jolt, pulling away from Logan as your heart jumps into your throat. “Fucking hell,” you mutter, your face flushing as you spot Scott and Jean standing there, Scott looking thoroughly unimpressed and Jean offering a thin, awkward smile.
Logan doesn’t look even remotely phased. He’d sensed their presence long before the music even started, but he hadn’t cared. With a soft grunt, he reaches behind you and zips your black leather suit back up, taking his sweet time.
Scott and Jean step carefully through the broken glass on the diner floor, their expressions half-amused and half-annoyed.
“I had high hopes for you two,” Scott says, his tone dry as he surveys the scene.
Logan raises an eyebrow, his hand still resting on your lower back. “You’ve got a point, Summers, or are you just here to gawk?”
Jean laughs lightly, shaking her head. “Don’t mind him. He’s just sulking because he bet you’d get together in the next forty-eight hours.”
Scott scowls. “And she bet it’d take at least a week,” he grumbles, gesturing at Jean. “Turns out, we were both wrong.”
You blink in disbelief, glancing at Logan, who looks utterly amused. He lets out a low, satisfied chuckle.
“Guess you two underestimated us,” he says, flashing a smug grin before leaning down to press a chaste kiss to your lips—right in front of them.
Your cheeks warm, but you can’t help the wide smile spreading across your face as you lean into Logan’s side.
Scott groans, throwing his hands up. “Alright, get a room, you two. Your ride’s outside. Time to go home.” He turns, wrapping an arm around Jean’s shoulders as they head for the door.
'Don’t wanna close my eyes
 I don’t wanna fall asleep
 I don’t wanna miss a thing,'
the song continues, fading behind you as Logan intertwines his fingers with yours.
“Home,” you murmur with a soft smile, glancing up at him.
Logan’s lips press gently against your temple, his touch grounding and warm.
“Home indeed,” he echoes, voice filled with quiet contentment.
Together, you walk out of the diner, leaving the music behind and a two-hundred-dollar bill on the counter by the radio.
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beneathsilverstars · 15 days ago
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if i failed to protect my kid during the apocalypse and they almost died wandering on their own but got rescued by a team of four competent, battle-experienced adults who cared about them very much and made them feel less scared and useless but refused to let them fight, i think that would be a pretty decent outcome and i'd be pretty okay with it. sure i could dream up a better situation but there's a hell of a lot of worse ones too.
#it's not like they took bonnie away from a safe lil village.. bonnie was on the verge of collapse!!#and no village is safe!!!!#better traveling to the place that will be last to freeze than left at some village that will freeze sooner#(and we can guess than nille agrees‚ since she and bonnie did not wait in bambouche to be frozen)#better ready for battle behind a team of fighters than caught unawares among people who have never fought#(regular people are obviously struggling right now - even nille failed to protect bonnie)#even with the king#if the party fails the land is frozen ANYWAY#is it really better to leave bonnie in dormont? distraught‚ abandoned? being held back from following by strangers?#is that really a better moment to be stuck in for eternity?#yeah maybe something worse would happen in the house#but sadnesses could attack the village too!#taking bonnie with them is absolutely a reasonable decision given all of the circumstances#i may be biased by my own nille characterization#HOWEVER#this is also my opinion as a parent u^u#like i might still be freaking out about it#but htat's. inevitable no matter WHAT it is that happened#bonnie WAS stuck in a bad situation and even the best solutions can't undo that#so yeah i'd be WORRIED#but i'd also be grateful the people who found my kid were decent folks who tried their best and did quite well all things considered#😭😭😭😭#thoughts#thoughts about bonnie#isat talk#i'm sick of not being able to fandom tag my posts that i don't want to put in the fandom tag so there now it's filterable lol
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morningmask27 · 3 months ago
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Tonight, right now, not even ten minutes ago, might have been the closest I got to an outright hatecrime
#morningtalks#Ask to tag#<- I have no clue what I'd have to tag this tbh#But for the story.#Me and my friend (crush) are walking at two am after quite the night. I am fully sober but she's got a few drinks and is just tired now#Like we're walking in silence she's just done type of tired#(part of me worries I was too in love with her tonight but I will do my best to rationalize it as Her Being Tired and not my fault somehow)#But yeah we're walking there and we see/hear a bunch of guys that are clearly not on their first drink#They plan to go to the bar we were so I'm glad we left but they are full on far right singing slogans about getting the leftists out#We cross each other on the street and they immediately begin asking us if we're lefties but then they see my pins#And the fact that we're two girls walking alone and assume we're both lesbians#Ify I obviously am. I have Pins lmao but my crush is not (?)#But yeah I had heard their slogans from afar and had already grabbed my scissors discretely in case something happened#I was genuinely just getting myself ready to fight them all just to leave my friend a chance to run if possible#But I was genuinely scared for her (and also for me but I have a bad habit of prioritizing others' wellbeing and especially here)#So they think we're lesbians and immediately start yelling they don't like lesbians and some other hurtful stuff#But it didn't fully enter my brain. I genuinely don't care#But I was still very afraid they DO something#Luckily they just walked away and we were left in peace but I was genuinely ready to do literally anything to not let my friend get hurt#By these men#I might see her a bit tomorrow. Probably not a lot but we'll see each other#And she doesn't seem to mind too much (she thought we'd see each other next week for class obviously and said “til next week”#(translated quite literally))#I thanked her for the evening still but I genuinely think she just needs to sleep and I don't have to overthink everything that happened#In the end#The first hours of the night were AMAZING though. Genuinely never been closer to her than there I adored every second of it#(and the other people were fun too but. She. Yano)#Anyways I have a thing at 11 I'll go sleep before being fully dead for that thing#But I might genuinely have a delayed reaction on those last events tomorrow#But now I gotta sleep too
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yasashiiku · 1 year ago
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I keep saying Shou has daddy issues but he actually has daddy issues AND mommy issues, his parents never got legally divorced btw
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honey-tongued-devil · 2 months ago
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[Arcane preference]reacting to their s/o calling them husband/wife for the first time
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I’ve finished the first chapter of the long fic about Universe 7 (Anytime it rains). As soon as my second beta reader gives me the okay, I’ll post it. While I wait, I’ve written the first headcanon (out of three I’m definitely planning to write and post in the next few days) and picked up the drawing of Steb I’d left unfinished. I’m slow, as usual, but English isn’t my first language, and I’m juggling a lot of things at once. Enjoy!
socials: | INPRNT | | Tip Jar | | X | | BlueSky | | Ao3 | poster: | Jayce poster | | Silco poster | |Silco +self insert poster 1| | Steb poster | if you want to read the fluff longfic with vander and his happy family + Silco x reader you can find it here! ↠ Masterlist
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Jayce:
-This man is planning to put a ring on your finger as soon as possible, okay? -Between the academy, public appearances, and both theoretical and practical studies, there isn’t a single moment when he’s really in the right mindset to bring up the topic -The worst part is that, deep down, he’s terrified of putting pressure on you -That’s why, the first time he hears you refer to him as “my husband” during a gala with noble families, he almost chokes -He has to gather all his strength not to grab the interlocutor by the shoulders and ask if they also heard you say that word -He’ll try to keep his composure, maybe responding to your remark with, “Yes, exactly. Her husband really did say/do/design that.”
Viktor:
-It’s not a thought he’s ever really entertained; it never crossed his mind -Part of it is that science is his priority, and part of it is that marriage doesn’t seem like something meant for people like him, -The first time you call him “your husband”, that thought suddenly becomes real in his head, and he can’t help but lean against a wall and wait for the other person to leave -“So, I’m your husband now, huh? Mmm
 I don’t mind, a bit pretentious, though
” he jokes, making you roll your eyes -Now, more than ever, he has no idea what to do. He’ll give you a bronze ring from a machine he’s building -“Until I can get one worthy of you.”
Ekko:
-Yes -That’s it -The end -Okay, seriously. The idea of being certain that something will last forever is probably his greatest wish -The first time you call him your husband, he doesn’t see it coming -“Wait, you’re married?” -“I was talking about you, Ekko.” -The moment you say it, he points to his chest, you see his lip tremble slightly, and his eyes grow shinier -He won’t stop talking about it for a week, and at least once a day, he’ll ask if you still want to marry him, if you’re sure, if you love him -No rings before S2; the promise is made by drawing something for each other on your masks and clothes -After S2, he still can’t afford a ring, but now that life is more stable, he can start thinking about a more traditional gift, like a piece of jewelry
Vander:
-This man is ravenous for any family role you might offer him—fiancĂ©, father, husband. Anything goes -The first time you call him “husband”, he plays it cool but will seize the first opportunity to return the favor by telling a customer you’re married -As soon as he can, he’ll squeeze your hand, even under the counter -The idea of being married and having a complete family is everything he’s ever wanted -He won’t stop calling you “my beautiful wife/husband” from that moment on.
-You said it first; you can’t take it back. Now you have to get married
Silco (old man):
-This man’s only sin is loving too much, but I’ll save that reflection for another post -Having no ties other than his illegitimate daughter doesn’t make him someone who’s particularly keen on formalities -The first time you call him “your husband” is in front of Sevika, and he slowly turns to look at you, while she slowly turns to look at him -“Did I... miss something?” Sevika asks, but he doesn’t reply, still perplexed, before glancing at her and saying, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” -He’s relieved but doesn’t show it. He can’t afford to just yet -As soon as he confirms you were serious, your name will be flamboyantly forgotten—he’ll constantly refer to you as “my wife/husband”
Silco (young):
-The man who survives on love -The first time you call him your husband is in front of Vander, and while Vander bursts out laughing, Silco chokes on his drink -“Are you serious?” He’s so happy that his pale iris are completely swallowed by his dilated pupils -He grabs a pen and draws a ring around your finger -To his credit, he works in a mine, so it’s hard to do better than that, but it becomes the goal that keeps him going -Completely focused on family, the future, and anything that sees the two of you together and happy
Steb:
-The first time you call him your husband is at a dinner among enforcer families, and being mute doesn’t stop him from stealing the spotlight -He whips around, blinking slowly with only his third eyelid in a gesture of confusion -When he’s 100% sure he understood what you said, his eyes widen, the small membranes under his eyes flutter madly, and even the barely visible gills near his jaw gasp for a moment -Someone says, “I didn’t know you were married,” and he immediately nods enthusiastically, not giving you time to take it back -Within 48 hours, he’ll have the ring ready
Jinx:
-The first time you call her “your wife”, she freezes -“What did you just call me?” -She’s used to being a little sister, a big sister, a daughter—she’d never thought she could be a wife. Family ties aren’t chosen, but the idea that someone would want her in their life so much they’d marry her feels incredible -“You want to marry me? Really? Why?” -She bursts into tears, and it’ll take at least 24 hours of cuddling in bed to calm her down -After that, she’ll run to her father to announce that she’s now a married woman
Vi:
-She might not be Silco and/or Vander’s blood daughter, but she’s inherited their deep desire for family -From her family’s tragic fate to Vander’s, she’s always seen family as the ultimate aspiration -When you call her “your wife” for the first time, she doesn’t notice right away, but a full minute later, she whirls around to look at you, as if to ask for confirmation -“Say it again.” -“...You need to buy bread?” -“No, all of it.” -“My wife needs to go buy bread.” -“Again.”
-"My... wife?"
-"Again"
Caitlyn:
-Has she thought about it? Yes -Was she planning to act on it? Not exactly -Caitlyn struggles with emotions and feelings, which is why she hesitates and takes her time -But when you first call her “your wife”, her brain completely shuts off—she just stares at you, unable to hear a single word being said -If you or someone else asks her a question, she’ll snap out of it and respond, -“My wife/husband said everything.” Even if it makes no sense as an answer, making you laugh and leaving the other person baffled
Mel:
-Not a single flicker of surprise—the first time you call her “your wife”, she remains completely composed -“So, I’m your wife?” she asks as soon as you’re in private, approaching you like a feline. You can almost hear the purr in her voice -She’s amused but also intrigued by whatever game you’re playing -The idea of marriage is complicated for her—on one hand, it feels like it would limit her freedom to act, while on the other, unresolved family issues seem to devour her at the mere thought of starting a new cycle -She’ll tell you to go ahead, to get married, but she’ll also ask for time -In the meantime, though, she’ll start using the term “husband/wife” with you—she likes the way it rolls off her tongue
Sevika:
-Between the work she does, the environment she lives in, and all the interesting circumstances of her life, marriage has never been on her radar -Not to mention that in Zaun, it’s not exactly a common practice—people just move in together and build families when they can, without much fuss over formalities or bureaucracy -The first time it happens, she’s playing cards with the other goons, and you casually ask if “your wife is winning” -Her first reaction isn’t even hers—it’s the others’. Dustin, the blond goon with the lazy eye, almost starts crying, embarrassing her -Don’t worry, she’ll make you pay for it at home -She won’t ask to formalize anything, but in true Zaunite fashion, she’ll consider you married, plain and simple
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inkskinned · 8 months ago
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it's because the bear wouldn't kill me just for being a woman. the bear doesn't kill me for fun. the bear can be shouted at, and will leave me alone. the bear won't make a tiktok complaining about how i crossed to the other side of the path when i saw him coming. if a bear kills me, it's just being a bear: it cannot understand logic. it is not acting out of malice - just fear or hunger.
bell hooks once wrote about how porches might be the only outside space left for women - it is still the domain of the house while it is also outside-but-safe. when i am in the woods, i am in the bear's home, and he has a right to defend his property. outside spaces - anywhere at night, certain parks in the day - those are often implicitly "owned" by men. i cannot explain the feeling of knowing when you have entered a man's "territory." you walk into a place and just know you are in their space. you get a sick sense - you're in danger.
the other day a group of about 8 men were fooling around in the woods while i walked my dog. i had to go around, take the extra 3 miles just to avoid them. it's okay, i like walking. this wasn't even a #feminism moment. it was just a tuesday.
what a plain and easy question. only one of the situations is seen as a tragic accident. i would rather die and have a park bench erected in my honor rather than have my family questioned about why they let me, an adult, walk in the woods in the first place when i should really be at home in the kitchen.
i worked in retail and food service. i have had women say and do absolutely heinous and abusive things to me - not because i was a woman, but because i was there, and they were angry. the way men treated me when angry was different - it was because i was a woman. you can always feel the difference, how there's an undertone of i'd hurt you worse if i could get away with it. i keep seeing people try to cite stupid statistics. why is there always a strange rage whenever women agree on things? like men can argue their way out of our lived experiences? it isn't a buzzfeed quiz - which of these traumas are you? 10 super cute ways not to fear strange men.
i have actually (thrice!) seen a bear in the wild, by the way. i died each time, obviously, and am a ghost writing to you. (it was scary but completely and utterly fine). the second encounter was a black bear with her cub. she looked at me like - do we have to do this or are we good? my dog was busy sniffing a bush, completely nonreactive. i felt like i was in a sitcom: feminist poet reacts - does she actually mean she'd choose the bear? my only thought was - she's so beautiful. her paws are massive.
and there's a part of me that feels the rage spinning out in a corner. why do we have to come up with quippy little comments in order to teach men empathy. would you rather die in a car accident or due to a mugging? and would you rather your house burn down due to an electrical fire or due to arson? gee willikers - it's almost like we're human people, and want to risk the accident versus the intention.
i would rather my last thought be oh shit, a bear rather than i'm a person too. why doesn't that matter? why don't you care?
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uglygirltrying · 4 months ago
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wolf-hybrid!simon x bunny-hybrid!reader | PT3 | pt2 | pt1 |
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apparently simon wasn't the only one who loved your scent.
other males had been trespassing on his territory, coming dangerously close to his den. to you.
simon tried to make his scent more pronounced. to keep them away. to keep his bunny safe.
fortunately, so far, no one had been brave enough, to deliberately come after you. and simon thought that nobody would be.
until that day.
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simon had left for water that evening. he wouldn't have been gone for long. it was always risky to leave you alone, without his protection. but simon promised to be quick.
unfortunately, that was enough time for him.
you shouldn't have been so naĂŻve. so stupid. you should've stayed vigilant. but you were just cleaning the den. you didn't feel threatened. you felt safe.
heavy thumps on top of the den. that's what you heard first. you looked up, a little bit of dirt fell down from the den ceiling, and dropped on your head. it must be simon. it has to be. right?
but then. there was slow struggling at the den's entrance. you couldn't see it, it was behind a curve. but you could hear it. simon didn't have to struggle to get inside. it was his den after all, it was just big enough, to let him inside.
maybe he was just struggling with the water. yeah. it's simon, you tried to reassure yourself.
"s-simon...?" your voice was meek, scared, unsure. you've stopped messing with the nest, now only focused on the noises coming from the den's entrance.
the obvious struggles at the entrance stopped.
why? simon would give you an answer, wouldn't he?
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the weather was beautiful. there was only few clouds covering the blue sky. the sun glared down, hot and bright. it made the snowbanks sparkle beautifully.
the hot light made the snow melt away, uncovering calm, small rapid. the clear water ran over the rocks underneath it's surface. only more and more snow kept melting into the water, small droplets falling down from the melting ice, and snow.
simon knelt by the river. filling a carved, wooden bucket, with the cold, refreshing water.
he had to keep himself, and the bunny hydrated, after all.
the bucket filled pretty quickly, and simon was ready to head back to the den.
the snow crunched under his steps. simons hot breath came out as steam, as it hit the cold air. frost was starting to form on the tips of his hair.
the wolf's movements stilled, as smell hit his nose. a musk. another male.
simon dropped the water filled bucket, and began to run. you were alone. hopefully you were alone.
but he wasn't there to protect you. oh, god.
panic flared inside simon, his heart beating out of his chest.
the den was just a rocks throw away from the river. simon was quickly there. that didn't calm him down. somebody was kneeling at the den's entrance, trying to dig in. trying to get to his bunny.
simon panted heavily as he approached. the trespasser heard him coming. with a smirk on his face, the intruder turned around, to look at simon. simon's hands clenched into fists, his skin turning white.
he gritted his teeth. "mace." the wolfs voice resembled a growl.
here this bear was, trying to steal his bun. simon knew him, a territorial rival. and now he was attempting to take his fucking mate. his mate. his.
the black bear chuckled darkly, as he stood up.
"can smell her... you're hiding a sweet thing in there..."
"time for you to go, mace." simon grumbled.
mace grinned. "i'll leave you be, for now."
he walked down from the den's entrance, towards simon.
"might wanna keep her in there. never know when she's going to get snatched up."
mace's shoulder knocked against simon's, when he walked past him.
simon was fuming. his whole body moved, as he took heavy breaths.
the wolf listened, until the sound of footsteps faded away, before rushing to the mouth of the den.
"bun? come here." he called out, into the tunnel.
he had to wait a moment, before he saw your head sticking out of the hole.
simon sighed. "come here..." he signaled for you to come closer with his hand. slowly, and hesitantly, you crawled to the entrance of the den, where he was waiting for you.
"you okay, bun?" simon mumbled, his hand gently holding your cheek. after a meek nod of your head, simon leaned in and kissed your forehead.
simon leaned away, and gently guided you back down into the den, following suite after you. once you were down in the nest, simon made sure to hold you tight against his chest.
"you know that I would never let anything happen to you. you know that, don't you, bunny?" the wolf murmured into your ear, his free hand slowly making it's way down your stomach.
"what can i do to calm you down, huh? you're still shaking." his hot breath hitting your ear. simon was being sneaky. before you even knew it, his calloused fingers, pinched your nub.
he chuckled at the squeal you let out. his fingers began to gently massage your little clit.
"i'll never let that happen again. okay?" his voice got more serious, and his touch harder. your legs kicked out at the increasing pressure on your sensitive clit.
his touch didn't relent. it only got more determined.
determined to distract you from the scary situation, you had to go through.
determined to make you feel good.
the feeling was foreign. his touch was so tough, just like him. but his words were so sweet. the pressure in your belly grew. your breathing got heavier. simon noticed. with a wicked smirk on his face, his movements got faster.
"give it to me. c'mon bunny... i know you want to." he so meanly teased.
it just suddenly hit you. your legs tensed up, and your breath hitched. luckily, simon decided to show you mercy. he helped you get down from your bliss, before pulling his hand from in between your sweet thighs. your juices coated his fingers. simon grinned at the sight.
the bunny was now completely limp in his arms, panting and exhausted. simon wiped his dirty fingers against the fur on your stomach. simon's hand grabbed your chin, turning your head to look at him.
"go to sleep, bunny..." he murmured quietly, laying you against his side. his arms rested around you, in a protective hold. he couldn't even imagine how scary it must've been for you, being trapped down here, with no way out, while somebody was trying to crawl inside.
but just as he promised, simon would never let it happen again.
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authors note: that poor bucket, alone in the cold forest :(
heart divider by @roseschoices
taglist (honestly i'm pretty lost who's on it and who isn't😭):
@famouscattale @nappingmoon @tame-the-lion-writes @s-a-v-a-n-a-34 @distinguishedprincesstrash @yourfavreggie @rorowingaboat @limeleag @sushiumex @aldis-nuts (won't find it sorry) @the-palelady
COMMENT TO GET ON THIS TAGLIST 😠
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katszumi · 7 months ago
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“have you seen the abs on that man?” hagakure sat across of you. “sexy on a stick, i swear!” she giggles. she was going on and on about the guy that starred in the superman movie you girls put on last night. henry cavill was his name.
mina agrees with her statement with a nod. “he’s the hottest white man i’ve ever seen before.”
“sure, he was hot, but are we forgetting the misogynist comments he’s made? sexy is one thing, but being controversial is a whole ‘nother thing.” uraraka inserted her input.
“oh, please. i’d cook and clean for him anyday he asks.” mina retorted. both uraraka and yaoyorozu shake their head in shame.
“speaking of controversial.” uraraka murmurs under her breath, you peer over your shoulder, wondering the intent of her statement.
you notice bakugou making his way over to your desk, his eyes planted on you and you only. you shift uncomfortably. why the hell would he be coming to you? did you do something?
once he makes his way to your desk, you look up at him with a half smile.
“hey, bakugou. what’s up?”
his eyes analyze the other girls before looking back down on you.
“my pencil?”
you flutter your lashes at him. “pencil..?” you repeated in a trance of confusion.
he groans. “the fuckin’ pencil i gave you last week. i need it back.”
now it all clicks. you nod, laughing nervously because of your stupidity. you reach in your backpack and grab the black mechanical pencil that you forgot to lend back to bakugou.
your arm extends to the male in front of you, waiting for him to snatch it back.
“sorry.”
he gently grasped onto the pencil, his hand brushing against your fingers for a small moment.
“it’s whatever. just rather not be the one to find you after i lent you something.” he shoved the pencil in his pants pockets, leaving his hands in there. “that’s one of the last pencils i have.”
you shoot your eyebrows up in defense, quickly lowering them after. your eyes falling down to your desk for comfort.
“well, hope you take care of that one.” it was a half-joke. a lame one, might you add. you were just unsure on what to say. especially since it seemed like bakugou was lingering around your desk. as if he didn’t want to return to his seat just yet.
“so, what’d you score on your test?”
“ah
it wasn’t the best, but it wasn’t horrible.”
“well?” was he really desperate to know that bad? you knew bakugou was smart, so he probably only wanted to know so it could boost his ego.
you rubbed your arm out of shame. “a seventy-nine.” you stared at his face to recognize any humility or laughter, but there was none.
he shrugged. “should’ve asked for my help if you needed it.”
right. you almost forgot that bakugou offered to help you study and go over notes with him for the next test. it was such an out-of-bakugou thing to do that you nearly didn’t take him serious.
you nodded slowly, processing his information.
“i was planning on making it up, so maybe for that.”
“fine.” his short one-worded response was dull. but what else did you really expect? “next time, don’t steal my pencil.” was his last comment before leaving your presence.
you sat in your thoughts, reeling the conversation back in your mind. what the hell just happened? it was the most simple yet confusing conversation you’ve ever had. was bakugou joking with you or was he seriously irritated with the pencil situation?
regardless, you made a mental note that bakugou was very protective over his mechanical pencils.
once bakugou returned to his seat, he unzipped his backpack, secretly opening his pencil box. within the box were a collection of pencils. there were so many pencils that he could give one to all of class 1a and 1b and still have few left.
aside sat denki who was clearly peeking inside of bakugou’s bag.
“damn, bakubro. you saving up pencils for a potential pencil outage or something?” it’s denki. of course, he never used his inside voice.
“i will literally blow you out this fuckin’ window and across the lot.” bakugou turns his head immediately, a faint pink blush spreading across the apples of his cheek.
bakugou just didn’t want you to know that the pencil was obviously an excuse to talk to you.
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pt 2 of the study sesh
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vorfreudevortex · 3 months ago
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apologies
✧.* gojo, geto, nanami, toji, choso, sukuna, yuji, megumi, noritoshi, ino, inumaki, yuta
notes: a somewhat happier resolution and part two of arguments! thank you for reading <3
✧.* check out the fun facts after the attachments for background info about their fights and a look inside my brain hehe!
my masterlist
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© vorfreudevortex | all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, repost, or otherwise share my work.
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satoru cried in his office when he realized that he blamed you for something that wasn't your fault.
suguru's coworker sat on his lap as part of a weird inside joke everyone else at the school has between the two. he has no idea why he was so defensive to you and he truly wasn't cheating. he was so angry that you would believe he cheated that he started calling you out for the first thing he could think of, wearing revealing tops in public. satoru had to call you 8 times before you picked up and let him explain it to you. he's forcing her to transfer to kyoto so she never has the chance to hurt your relationship again (remember that suguru never left and became a teacher alongside satoru in my aus). the pictures sent to the reader leave out how suguru uncomfortably asked her to get off of him shortly after, since they were around other sorcerers and teachers (as politely as he could).
kento came home with so many flowers for you and he still feels awful.
toji's dumbass freaked tf out when you took home your clothes from his place. he was out drinking and gambling and didn't want to tell you. your relationship is rocky for a while but he hasn't gambled since.
choso is still learning communication skills and cried when he realized that he was being mean to you over nothing.
sukuna is a terrible texter and does NOT communicate his feelings well. this is him being vulnerable af with you because he really does love you and has no idea why he was grabbing another girl's ass at the bar. he tried to chase you down after you threw a drink on him, slapped and yelled at him, and ran out.
yuji completely panicked when a curse attacked him out of nowhere when he was out with you. you can't see them and you were so confused and scared that you couldn't move. he just cares about you so much and couldn't stand the fact that you could've died. he made megumi listen to him cry about how mean he was to you for like 3 straight hours.
megumi has no idea how to deal with his emotions and has never been in a relationship before so he literally thought you guys were broken up LMAO. he's trying really hard for you.
in my au toge can speak, just not direct commands, so he still rarely talks unless necessary. i thought it would be nice to have the reader understand that all of his communication skills are terrible and help him work on them.
noritoshi has a terrible outlook on love and relationships from his upbringing so it took him a minute to understand how awful his words were. he truly does love you and wants to marry you. he lowkey constantly thinks about cutting off the kamo clan so they can't control his life anymore.
ino literally cried to nanami after your argument. he's so used to putting jujutsu responsibilities before his own life and feelings, and struggles with having to take care of something that can't be fixed with his power or strength. nanami also called you and apologized for meddling in your relationship, he realized it was inappropriate but he just really cares about you and ino and wants the best for both of you.
yuta literally didn't even realize how insane and controlling he was being until you called him out. after he took you home, he latched onto you with his head crammed in your lap because he was so upset thinking that you might leave him. he swears to himself that he will kill himself before he treats you like that again, and he never does it again.
i don't like when big argument smaus end with "no biggie i forgive you! <3" so i tried to make sure that the reader either made sure they know they fucked up big time, apologized and talked to them face-to-face, they'd never do it again, or you wouldn't forgive them so easily, etc.
sorry this was so long! but i love knowing the background info and author's thoughts for smaus since they can be kind of limiting in content! i think i'll add background info and fun facts after all my future smaus for those who are interested. as always thank you so much for reading ♡
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chuluoyi · 10 months ago
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only if you are up for a challenge. Naoya Zenin x f!reader in which he got her pregnant, then she left out of fear and he found her again and won't let her go :)))
when you loved me
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- zen'in naoya x reader
you loved him... but you have had enough of the shit you've experienced—his arrogance, horrible family and another woman—and decided to leave him for the sake of yourself and your child
genre/warnings: angst to comfort, implied cheating, most likely ooc, honestly i almost made it a vs naoya fic with no consolation, happy ending aka naoya is decent
note: this ask... has been collecting dust in my askbox for about SIX MONTHS HAHAH, so sorry anon. i'll just leave it here and let it burn however just bc i don’t want to delete what i’ve written :’)
general masterlist
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"How... how could you?"
Once, you thought, you were in love with Zen'in Naoya.
Well, you couldn't deny that he had personality flaws, but deep down, at one point in your life, you still believed that he too loved you.
You stared at him through tears brimming in your eyes, and he was just there, looking at the little being in your arms with a mix of shock and... something else you couldn't name. Dismay? Disappointment? Black rage?
"Go away, Naoya," you declared through your gritted teeth, pulling the baby in your arms even closer to you, as though fearing he might do something drastic. No way in hell would you let him after what he made you go through.
His eyes twitched as he tried to hold himself back from losing it. He took a few deep breathes in order to stay composed.
“Y/N, answer me,” he growled, still with the same condescending tone you remembered nine months ago, when you resolutely decided to leave him. “Is that baby mine?”
This was absolute madness. You had driven him insane. Naoya was certain he would go feral on you after you boldly left him without a trace, and when he found you, you were cradling this baby in your arms—which he was absolutely sure, enough to bet on his life, that the little thing was also his.
The woman he loves has given birth to his child.
You had imagined all sort of scenarios in which this very event would occur. This was one of them actually.
“No,” you firmly replied, gaze hardening. “Not yours. So kindly let yourself out of my house, Naoya.”
“Absolute bullshit!” he shouted and you flinched. His sudden rise of voice also woke the poor baby in your arms.
His heart hammered inside his chest. There were many things that made a mess of his head. You running away from him. The nights of madness he went through, wondering where you were and if you were alright. And now, the fact you had his baby without him ever knowing.
“Where were you? Why did you leave— you were having my—”
Fuck, he didn’t even know if he had a son or daughter.
You tried to console your child, now tears also streaming down your cheeks too. But it was more of frustration and anger rather than fear. “Can you blame me? Zen’in Naoya, you have made my life hell!”
“Hell?” It felt like an total insult to his pride. “How—!”
“You!” you screamed at his face. “I’ve had enough of your shit! And not to mention your father—that horrible drunkard who always looks down on me and treats me as if I were some gold digger! And also the whole of your goddamn, entitled clan—they always harass me right in front of my face!”
All of this stunned him on this place. Truth to be told, he knew a little to nothing at all about what his kin had done to you.
“I don’t need your family’s wealth! I can live on my own just fine even with your bastard!” Your tirade still hadn’t ended, but you had to put your baby on her cot first and dismiss her ever growing cries because you were tired of all of this. This life. This absolute nightmare that was caused by one fatal mistake of falling in love with Zen’in Naoya.
“But what the fuck? You’re asking why I left? How dare you ask me that after what you did!”
“What did I even do?!” His denial made a blood vessel about to burst inside your brain. “You never fucking told me what my father did! If only you did, I would have—”
“Look, you don’t even acknowledge it!” You were so tired of this. You wished you could die and just end all of this mental suffering. Why did this have to happen to you out of a billion people out there?
And yet, still, ultimately, you were happy with him. Those memories of the two of you together, just idyllically spending time together, or sometimes even playfully clashing opinions— to you, they were irreplaceable.
So, that's why...
Your heart shattered at the screeching cries of your baby. But you had to slam this in Naoya’s face.
“That was the last straw—seeing you with that fucking woman, you insufferable, demented, cheating bastard!”
That string of profanities you screamed at his face made Naoya finally lost it, as he gripped you tightly and his eyes flared with pure white-hot anger. “Say that again—say that again, you—!”
A toe-curling scream ripped out of your baby and you wrenched yourself out of his grasp through sheer will. Naoya was left reeling as he watched your horrified expression, as you plucked the baby into your arms again.
“Shh, shh,” you shushed your child amidst your own quivering lips. “Mama is here
 Don’t cry
”
Right at that moment, it was as if something had pierced his chest and left a gaping hole. He really had a living baby. That baby was crying because of him.
The sting of the anger was still there, but now guilt started to overpower it as he regained his cool somewhat. “Is that a—” his breath hitched. He had to know. At the very, very least he had to know.
You didn’t immediately answer. You were still absolutely heartbroken by how it all turned out. But above all else, you could no longer deny him of his own child.
“A girl,” you sniffled.
A daughter. A daughter— in the one split second after knowing that, Naoya made the quickest decision of his life.
“Come back. Live with me,” he said, resolute. “You’re the mother of my child—I won’t let anyone lay their hand on you again. You have my word.”
Women are pain in the ass. That was what he used to think. Until you. Not when it's you. It astounded even himself how the sight of you like this was enough to drive knives into his chest.
“Look, that’s not it,” your tears were now falling free and fast, unable to hold it back longer. “How can you ask me that—when you went behind my back with another woman? Naoya, I love you—loved you. But isn’t this too cruel? How can you do this to me?”
“What woman are you talking about?” He tried to compose himself, but your accusation of him with someone whose existence he didn’t even know was getting in his nerves. “I have never been unfaithful to you! I know we don't always agree to things, but do you really think that low of me?”
“Evidently, I saw you with her. Your father made it a point that she’s your next plaything—or possibly even, fiancĂ©e!”
There was a memory that sprung into his head when you mentioned that. He recalled that vain, stupid woman, and he definitely remembered telling his father that he refused her. It wasn’t long before you disappeared.
Now everything clicked.
“Listen to me,” Naoya started, jaw clenching. “Whatever my father told you—those are all lies. I turned her down right there and then. I wouldn’t do that to you. You know that. You should have known that.”
Sobs wrecked your body and soul at this point. You knew where your place was. Zen’in Naoya was a man outside your league, his family made it so clear to you that you were nothing but dirt in their eyes. And perhaps that was why, back then, you chose to protect yourself and left him, believing he was capable of that too.
And now before you, you could see the man you loved once again.
“Come back to me.” His gaze burned you. “This time, for sure, I won’t let anyone touch you— I won’t let them even say a word about you! I will marry you, and we will raise our daughter together.”
“I
 I don’t want to live there, Naoya
” you sobbed. You hated that place. Like hell would you have your pride stomped and deceived again.
“Alright, if that’s what you want. We won’t live there. You won’t have to see any of their faces again.”
Gazing into your face, marked by trails of tears, he finally, finally felt his heart break. And he thought, that in front of him now was the only woman who could upturn his whole trajectory.
“Just
 come back. To me. I will take care of you. I swear it.”
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littlelamy · 3 months ago
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rafe x reader; she’s not you
when you stepped off the plane and back into the outer banks, it felt surreal. the salty air was still the same, warm and familiar as it wrapped around you like an old friend. you had been gone for two years—two long years where you’d distanced yourself from everyone here, most importantly, rafe. the boy you had promised everything to, only to leave without a word. but you were back now, and you were determined to reclaim what was yours. no matter what obstacles stood in the way, you were going to make things right.
your heart pounded as you made your way toward tannyhill. memories of late nights sneaking into rafe’s bedroom, tangled up in each other, whispered promises of forever, flooded your mind. you couldn’t believe you left him behind, left everything behind. but rafe had promised to wait for you, and you trusted his word. that’s why you were so confident walking up the familiar stone path to the house. you had no idea what you were about to walk into.
with a deep breath, you raised your fist and knocked on the large wooden door. a few seconds later, the door swung open to reveal a girl—sofia, of all people. dressed in nothing but a towel, her hair still wet and hanging loosely over her shoulders, she looked just as surprised to see you as you were to see her.
her confusion was written all over her face. “uh
 can I help you?” she asked, clutching the towel tighter around her body, clearly taken aback.
you blinked, trying to process what you were seeing. “i
 i think i have the wrong house,” you stammered, but you knew that was lie. your heart sank, and before you could say anything else, you heard a familiar voice call out from behind her.
“baby, who’s at the door?”
the world felt like it had been yanked out from under you as rafe stepped into view, his voice trailing off as his eyes locked onto yours. you could see the shock flicker across his face, but it was quickly masked by something darker—anger, hurt, and maybe a little confusion. you felt the bile rise in your throat. the rafe you had left behind was with her now?
“rafe
” you whispered, your voice barely audible as you stepped back from the door in disgust.
rafe’s jaw clenched, and for a moment, you thought he might say something, but he didn’t. instead, he just stood there, staring at you like he couldn’t believe you were really there. the tension between the three of you was palpable, and you couldn’t stand it anymore.
you turned on your heel and walked away, feeling like the ground beneath you had crumbled. how could he move on so easily? he had promised you forever, and now here he was, with someone else. you weren’t dumb..you knew that you left him but, damn, why her.
as you made your way back home, your emotions were a whirlwind—anger, pain, regret. but most of all, you were determined. this wasn’t over, not by a long shot. rafe cameron was yours, and you were going to make sure he remembered that.
later that night, you were back in your childhood home, sitting on the porch and trying to collect your thoughts. everything felt so wrong. you’d pictured this day for months, how you’d walk into rafe’s life again, and things would fall into place like they were meant to. but instead, you were faced with the reality that he had moved on.
suddenly, you heard footsteps approaching. your heart skipped a beat as you saw rafe walking up the path to your house. he looked conflicted, torn between anger and something else—something softer. you stood up as he reached the porch, not sure what to say, but knowing that whatever this was, it wasn’t going to be easy.
“what the hell are you doing here?” his voice was low, rough with emotion. he shoved his hands into his pockets, his eyes scanning your face, like he was trying to figure out if you were real.
“i came back,” you said simply, meeting his gaze. “for you.”
he laughed bitterly, shaking his head. “for me? after two years of silence, you just show up and expect everything to be the same?”
your chest tightened. “rafe, i—”
“no, you don’t get to walk away and then come back whenever it’s convenient for you,” he interrupted, stepping closer. “you promised me forever, and then you left. do you know what that did to me?”
the pain in his voice was clear, and it hurt to hear. you took a step forward, your eyes pleading. “i had to leave, rafe. I didn’t have a choice.”
“you always have a choice,” he snapped, his voice hard as he stared at you. but then his expression softened slightly, and for a moment, you saw the rafe you once knew, the one who would have moved mountains for you. “you said you’d marry me. we had a plan. and then you just disappeared.”
your heart ached as you reached out, resting your hand on his chest. “i know i hurt you. but I never stopped loving you. I never will.”
rafe’s breath hitched, and for a moment, it felt like the world had stopped spinning. his eyes darkened with desire as he looked down at you, his hand coming up to cup your cheek. “you think you can just come back and say all the right things and i’ll forget what you did?” he whispered, his voice low and dangerous.
“no,” you whispered back, your lips inches from his. “but i can make you remember why we’re meant to be.”
before he could respond, you pressed your lips to his, desperate and hungry. rafe groaned against your mouth, his hands gripping your waist and pulling you closer. the kiss was hot, intense, fueled by the passion and anger that had been building between you for the past two years. it felt like fire—like everything you’d been missing was suddenly right there, burning between you.
when he finally pulled back, his breathing was ragged, and his eyes were full of lust. “you think you can fix everything with a kiss?” he asked, his voice rough.
“no,” you said, breathless. “but it’s a start.”
rafe growled, gripping your hips and pulling you flush against him. you could feel the heat radiating off his body, the tension between you building to a fever pitch. “you left me,” he repeated, his hands digging into your skin. “and now you think you can just come back and take what’s yours?”
you stared up at him, your heart racing. “i don’t think, rafe. i know.”
the tension between you and Rafe was like a live wire. he had come over with every intention of confronting you, of demanding answers, but as soon as he laid eyes on you, all those old feelings came rushing back. he was torn between his anger and the desire that had never really gone away. as he stood in your bedroom later that night, watching you peel off your dress and reveal the lacy underwear beneath, he couldn’t hold back any longer.
“fuck, you look even better than I remember,” he muttered, stepping forward and running his hands down your sides. you shivered at his touch, your body aching for him.
rafe leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered, “i’ve thought about this moment every damn day since you left. you have no idea how many nights i’ve spent imagining you right here, under me, begging for it.”
you whimpered, the sound escaping your lips as you tilted your head back, giving him more access to your neck. his hands roamed over your body, possessive and demanding as he pushed you onto the bed, his eyes dark with desire.
he stood over you for a moment, drinking in the sight of you laid out before him. the skirt of your dress was flipped up, your legs spread wide, and your lacy thong pulled to the side. you were already soaked, your body desperate for him.
“please, rafe,” you moaned, your voice full of need. “i need you.”
a cocky smirk played on his lips as he slid his hand down between your legs, teasing you, running his fingers over your dripping, puffy folds. “you want me, baby?” he asked, his voice low and teasing.
you nodded, biting your lip as your hips bucked toward his hand. “yes, please
i want you so bad.”
rafe’s smirk deepened as he lowered himself onto the bed, positioning himself between your thighs. he dragged his tongue slowly up your slit, savoring the taste of you as you moaned loudly. his grip on your hips tightened as he licked and sucked at your swollen clit, his cock straining painfully against his pants.
“fuck, you taste so good,” he groaned, his voice muffled against your slick skin. “i’ve missed this. I’ve missed you.”
your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer as your body writhed beneath him. the pleasure was overwhelming, the years of pent-up frustration finally finding release as Rafe devoured you like a man starved.
“rafe, please
i need you inside me,” you gasped, your body trembling with need.
he pulled back just enough to look up at you, his lips glistening with your wetness. “you’re mine,” he growled, his eyes dark and dangerous. “don’t you ever forget that.”
you nodded, your breath coming in ragged gasps as he stood up and quickly discarded his clothes. his cock was hard, already leaking pre-cum as he positioned himself at your entrance.
without another word, he thrust inside you, filling you completely in one swift, hard motion. you cried out, your body arching up to meet his as he began to move, his pace fast and demanding. every thrust was a reminder of what you had left behind, of everything you had both lost in the years apart. but now, with him inside you, it felt like nothing had changed—like you were right back where you belonged.
rafe’s hands gripped your hips as he pounded into you, his eyes locked on yours, the intensity between you palpable. “you’re mine,” he repeated, his voice low and possessive. “i don’t care where you’ve been, what you’ve done. you’ll always be mine.”
your breath hitched at his words, a shiver running down your spine. It wasn’t just about the sex—it was about everything you had shared, everything you had promised each other. and now, in this moment, you knew there was no going back. he was right. you were his, and nothing was going to change that.
as the pleasure built, your moans grew louder, your nails digging into his back as you held onto him. “rafe,” you gasped, “i’m—”
“i know, princess,” he groaned, his thrusts becoming erratic as he felt you tighten around him. “come for me. let me feel you.”
that was all it took. your orgasm crashed over you like a tidal wave, your body shaking as you cried out his name. rafe followed seconds later, his own release hitting him hard as he buried himself deep inside you, groaning your name as he came.
for a few moments, neither of you moved, your bodies still tangled together, breathless and spent. then, slowly, rafe pulled out and collapsed beside you, his chest rising and falling as he tried to catch his breath.
you turned your head to look at him, your heart still pounding in your chest. “i’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice barely audible in the quiet room.
rafe looked at you, his expression softer now, the anger and hurt replaced by something else—something you hadn’t seen in him for a long time. “i know,” he said quietly, brushing a strand of hair out of your face. “but you’re here now. and that’s all that matters.”
you nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips as you rested your head on his chest. for the first time in a long time, it felt like everything was going to be okay.
as you lay there, your body still trembling from the intensity of what had just happened, the reality of everything slowly started to settle back in. the warmth of rafe’s skin, the way his breath was steadying beneath you—it almost felt like old times, like the two years apart hadn’t happened. but you couldn’t ignore the question that had been nagging at the back of your mind since you arrived. you shifted slightly, propping yourself up on your elbow to look at him.
“rafe,” you began softly, your voice uncertain. “what about sofia?”
his expression darkened instantly, his jaw clenching as he looked away from you. he ran a hand through his hair, sighing heavily. “what about her?”
you swallowed, feeling a knot tighten in your chest. “is she
 are you
 together?”
rafe’s lips pressed into a hard line, and for a moment, he didn’t answer. you could see the conflict in his eyes, the tension returning to his body. “it’s not what you think,” he said finally, his voice low and guarded.
“then what is it?” you pressed gently, not wanting to push too hard but needing to know the truth. “i showed up at your house and she was there, rafe. wearing nothing but a towel. i just
i need to know.”
he sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, his back to you. for a long moment, he didn’t speak, just stared at the floor as if searching for the right words. finally, he turned to face you, his eyes filled with a mix of guilt and frustration. “she’s not you,” he said bluntly. “she never was.”
your heart clenched at his words, but you couldn’t help the flicker of jealousy that crept in. “but she was there. you were with her.”
rafe sighed again, rubbing a hand over his face. “i don’t know what you want me to say. you left. i was a mess. sofia
 she was just—” He hesitated, searching for the right explanation. “she was a distraction, okay? someone to fill the void you left.”
you looked down, biting your lip as his words sank in. it stung to hear, but you couldn’t deny the part of you that felt relieved. “so, you don’t love her?”
he shook his head, his voice firm. “no. i never loved her, not the way I love you.”
his confession made your heart skip a beat, but it wasn’t enough to wash away the pain entirely. “but rafe, she was there
 in your house. In your bed.” the thought of it made you feel sick all over again. “how am I supposed to just forget about that?”
rafe stood up, pacing the room with frustration. “you think I wanted this? you think I wanted to find someone else? I waited for you. I fucking waited, but you didn’t come back.” He stopped, turning to face you, his eyes hard. “what was I supposed to do? i needed something, someone to take my mind off of you.”
tears pricked at your eyes, but you blinked them away, trying to keep your voice steady. “i’m here now.”
he stared at you for a long moment, his anger softening as he saw the hurt in your eyes. slowly, he walked back over and sat down next to you, reaching out to cup your face in his hand. “yeah,” he murmured, his thumb brushing gently over your cheek. “you’re here now. And that’s all I care about.”
you leaned into his touch, closing your eyes for a moment as the weight of everything settled over you. It wasn’t perfect, and things were far from easy, but you were here, with rafe, and somehow, you knew you would figure it out. together.
taglist: @namelesslosers @princessslutt @averyoceanblvd @iknowdatsrightbih @starkeysprincess @sixrosberg @anamiad00msday @ivysprophecy @wearemadeofstardust0
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