#she makes me go crazy every time cant explain it but lets just say id let her ruin me fr 😳😤😤👌👌🙏🏻😍

[ninjabelle]

Interupting the heartbreak for a second to thirst over Sevika (as one does) because GOD DAMN sis was looking amazing this act, the hair, the piercing??? That tightass outfit??? Trying to unify the people of Zaun in a way that woulda made both Vander and Silco proud, busting Isha out of prison w Jinx ONE ARMED. My QUEEN. IM ON MY KNEES.

i just love her sm aaaaa

[shadowturtlesstuff]

you belong with me- thomas

this is thomas’s pov. i like doing both pov (i dont know if you can tell) but there are a few things im working on but enjoy!

“How could-? Are you even hearing yourself speak you fool? No- no. God, you know what I'm done.” I throw my phone on the bed, scaring Sir Issac in the process. I cringe even as I begin pacing back and forth. It was truly absurd, utterly crazy, that William lived in such a world where he would ever consider me being with anyone but Audrey Rose. Whilst we weren’t together per say, it was clear there would be no one else for me. The fact that he had already caused trouble for us once makes this even more irritating. I turn and find Audrey Rose already watching me. Her hair disheveled in a messy bun which tells me she is studying or researching something. I give her what I hope classifies as a smile and watches as she pulls out a familiar notebook, searches for her pen and then writes: Are you okay?

Of course she would ask if I'm okay and not what happened; using our absurd way of talking to each other instead of using the window or even messaging me. I shake my head but smile and make my way towards my window. The wind hits me, sending my hair flying but I embrace the fresh air as I watch her move herself off her bed, cursing at her stiff legs. She has been there most of the day, not moving and lost in her work and music. She curses once more as she hits her elbow on the window sill and she looks truly adorable. “You have a wicked mouth Wadsworth. Did you not learn cursing is unlady-like?” I try to ignore the other thoughts I have of her mouth.

“Fuck you,” she scowls at me. It always makes me smile hearing her curse, she always sounds confident in them somehow, making them seem so real. The first time she swore was the time she failed a science test. Well, not exactly a fail, but she was marked wrong by a substitute teacher who didn't like her so she decided to berate him in front of the whole class, starting with her shouting ‘bullshit!’ as soon as she saw her results.

“I assume dear wadsworth, you want to ask what has made me so irate?” As much as I would rather climb across the gap and make her watch another one of my romance films again instead of talk about it, I know that I should. Otherwise it'll eat at my mind when I go to sleep. As well as it being used against wadsworth in some way too.

“Perhaps,” she says, eyes sparkling with mischief as she rests her head on the wall and brings her knees to her chest, “perhaps I merely wanted to ask if Sir Issac was okay.” I nearly burst out laughing at her. She has a love hate relationship with my cat. She pretends to hate the ‘beast’ but will often let him sit on her lap or pet him whenever she is over here. When I first got him, she stayed round mine for the night and we settled him. Even then she had tried to pretend not to like him but she doesn’t remember that she fell asleep with him curled up next to her. I had to sleep on my chair because they were sprawled out, surrounded by her work.

“Really? You always refer to him as a little pest, whereas as with me, I am your dearest person, of course you want to know how I am feeling. My son is good though, very energetic today.” Said cat brushes against me and I look at him, the memory still clear in my mind. Yet I know I need to stop avoiding the problem, Audrey Rose is too kind to push me into telling her, and will let me avoid it for as long as I need. It is not the worst thing we’ve faced yet I still hate it.  

“I assume you saw the call, well that was William,” she nods, her face already falling at the mention of his name, “Yes, awful. Apparently though, there is a rumor that I'm with Miss whitehall. I don't even remember her first name, but he was convinced of our relation despite my protests. Madness.” I scoff at the sheer audacity of him and his friends. Sir Issac nuzzles into me, knowing that I'm upset and wanting to change that. As well get attention.

“Is this the same William that had convinced everyone I was dating him?”

“Yes.” Anger rolls through me at the memory of that disaster. What hurt Audrey Rose the most is that she truly thought he was a friend. She’d explained that with me she didn't try, but everyone else she had too, so when they'd fallen into easy conversations during lessons she really enjoyed having someone other than me and lize and her uncle to talk to.

“Bitch. Why on earth is he such a problem? Where on earth does he even make this assumptions about us?'' She begins pacing, her mind working faster than her steps as she no doubt recalls everything that happened. I am inclined to do the same. I can still remember her walking into her room, looking at me and falling apart. I climbed into her room and held her letting her calm before she spoke to me. I cried as well, slightly, knowing how much that friendship had meant to her. I'd made us watch a really cheesy film and she'd fallen asleep in my arms.

“I have never once,”I say to drag her back to the present “shown interest in her, nor will I ever.” I drag a hand through my hair. “She's just- a lot.” the first time id met her she was just very loud and demanding, I couldn't stand her. I'd watched her insult so many people for being themselves, for liking childish things, or in Audrey Rose's case, morbid things.

“That is the understatement of the year Cresswell. Besides, you wouldn’t work, she's too- your,” she falls silent, either lost in thought or not wanting to tell me those thoughts. Her cheeks turn a light shade of pink and I smile. She doesn't meet my eye as she sits herself down and I raise my brows as she asks what? As though she didn’t just show me that she has many inappropriate thoughts about me. She curls herself into a ball, hiding in her oversized hoodie, which is mine that I'm not sure she realizes is.

“I’m what? I'd be delighted to know your innermost thoughts of me, Wadsworth.”

“You're absurd but fine I'll elaborate,” she rolls her eyes though, even as the pink deepens slightly. Her eyes focused on my own. So I face her fully, like an astute student in class dying to seek knowledge, “you're too kind, too witty and clever and Whitehall wouldn’t appreciate you enough. You-” she stops talking immediately, as though whatever is in her mind she cant voice. Her face twists into something unreadable and I get the sense that she would rather not ever speak about me being with someone other than her.

“You forgot to mention how handsome I look, or how charming I am, but I'll take it,” she suppresses an eye roll and her smile and ignores the way my voice deepens ever so slightly. I pat Sir Issac off me and earn a whine but he jumps off me. I reach out to her and she leans, her hair ripping free of her bun with little effort from the wind. Her dark curls cling to her face, framing her perfectly too. It makes me want to hold her face in her hands and kiss her deeply.

“I don’t need to inflate your ego further Thomas.”

She inflates my ego every time she smiles at me, whether that be because of my joke or simply smiling at me because I am her friend. “I know but it would've been nice. I did say the inner most thoughts but we’ll get there. Audrey rose-I don’t belong with her, you’re right, my heart would never belong to her especially since it already belongs to someone else.”

She blinks at me, her face falling flat. Silence falls over us and I realize she thinks I'm talking about someone else. And idea forms, one that she may hate me for but one I'm going to do anyway.

“I-” she begins, no doubt going to tell me she wants me to be happy without whomever I'm with. I stand before she can say anything and she stares at me for a second so I motion for her to move. I want to be able to hold her and be next to her. I climb over and set myself on her window sill, leaving enough space for her on the other side. “I hope you are happy with whomever has your heart Cresswell.” I try to hide my smirk at her. Preparing myself for the worst. Preparing myself for her calling me an idiot and that she doesn't like me that way. I wouldn’t blame her.

“Of course I'll be happy. She's amazing. Let me tell you all about her. I met her many years back and was instantly smitten with her emerald eyes and her quick witted mind. How she sings to herself every morning and how her dark curls fall across her face whenever she sits on her bed and reads. I adore her curiosity for the dead and how wicked her mouth is and how delightful it is to watch your mind at work. I love when she shows me a note through the window to see if I'm doing okay and-”

“Wait,” she blurts out, her cheeks red now and eyes bright with shock, “Thomas, are you talking about me?”

I can’t help but laugh. She is one of the smartest people I have ever met yet she, just like I do, struggles with social cues sometimes. Albeit it she is better than I will ever be. “Yes, finally! I thought I'd have to keep speaking forever till you realized it was you.” Not that that would be a problem. As of right now I'd happily list the way her eyes are filled with both relief and shock and happiness and it's a look I want to capture whenever I need a reminder of something good in life.

She scowls at me, ignoring her blush. I take a risk and reach out my hand, moving closer so that her back is straightened on the wall, her attention fixed on me completely. No fake scowl or bright smile, just an intent gaze I can't quite pick apart. I rest my hand on her leg, now free of her (my) hoodie. “Wadsworth, darling, I have been in love with you for some time now.”

I stare at my best friend, my love, as she tries to convince herself this is real. It's truly adorable. Then her eyes widen slightly as she whispers: “I have something to show you.”

She jumps from my grip, running the short distance to her bed and then shuffling through the mountain of books and papers sprawled there until she pulls out a notebook and shakes it, letting a piece of paper drop. It's folded and creased a lot, as though it has been opened often. I watch as she faces me and slowly, her face fixed on the sheet as she opens and holds it out to me.

I read the words: I love you.

I love you.

I read them over and over and over, trying to imprint it on my brain. Her delicate handwriting and her confession reaches out to me and I desperately want to reach out to her, hold her against me and press kisses and make her laugh.

Audrey rose takes her seat across from me and I instantly reach out, holding her leg again. Anything to reassure me this is real. “I wrote that the night after you came here the second time.” her voice is soft, her curls once again framing her face as she looks at me, “Something in me clicked that no matter what you'd find a way to comfort me. Not save me, but work alongside me. I wanted to tell you I just couldn't face it. But I needed to acknowledge it. So I wrote it down, and I look at it every time we use the note system; I try to convince myself to show you.” Audrey Rose would never need saving, never want it, yet her words save my own dark heart that she has felt this way for so long, and we have somehow lived alongside each other and been so blinded by our love entwined with fears that it has taken so long to finally acknowledge them.

I debate pinching myself. Only minutes ago was I miserable and upset, yet Audrey Rose has taken her time to cheer me up. Yet even if I had left it as I am fine, even though she knows me better than that, she wouldn't have pressed for answers; would have waited for me to open up. So i lean in and the world stops as we both wait until our lips are pressed together It's a light kiss, one full of promise and wonder. When I lean back we are both smiling so freely my heart feels as though it too is reaching out to hold Audrey rose. We trade kisses, never wanting to leave this loop but I do lean back away from her. I’m already too drunk on her kisses, I need to breathe, to process this so I can remember it. Once my back is against the wall I pull her, twisting so her back is against mine, leaning into my warmth and I rest my head atop hers. Trying to contain my smiles but to no avail. My hand covers hers and as i look down at her i notice she doesn't bother controlling her smile. It is a magnificent sight.  

“Now would be a perfect time to tell me how handsome I am, my love.”

let me know if you want to be added to my tag list: 

@fangirling-again​ @kittycat2187 @goatahoan @city-of-fae @the-hoofflepooff @padfoot-sirius-black-blog @purplecreatorhorsewagon @boredbookwormgirl @goddess-of-writing-wars @lovecakeandmore ​ @yikesitsmaddie @loveyatopluto​ @throneofsc @bookscressworth​  @ ink-insomnia

[jinbestboy]

☁️thirty questions tag game☁️

tagged by // @jimindelune and @hazeltae thank you both so much i loved reading all your answers and have decided i’m in love with you both // answers under the cut bc she’s a long one

name/nickname: my full name is emma but i almost exclusively go by em unless i’m in trouble

star sign: taurus 🥰

hight: 6’2” someone call jack i think i’m his missing beanstalk

birthday: april 29 ‘98

favorite band: i mean…….. there’s the obvious answer, but outside of the kpop world id say state champs neck deep and say anything

time: 9pm ish

favorite solo artist: kpop solo is hands down IU she is out of this world, non kpop is hobo johnson

song stuck in your head: all in my head by hobo johnson (ive been really in the feels with him lately)

last movie you watched: it was still when i saw in the hights with @vantehobi i don’t watch movies :/

free space: i hope everyone had a good week last week! i’m gonna try and be more active on here again last week was so crazy with getting to see julie again and then being sad about not seeing julie anymore the whole rest of the week, anyways i missed you all love love muah. oh also this took me literally 2 days to finish why am i like this

last show: i’m watching this series on peacock with my mom called escape to the chateau and it’s ab this british couple who buy a disheveled and worn down 5 story french chateau and renovate it to live in/use for weddings and i love it sm. and as always i have parks or the office on at any given moment

when i created this blog: i’ve had it since 2015 on and off but i swapped over to a bangtan blog fully around october of last year

what i post: an absolutely nonsensical stream of consciousness in the tags of posts made by people who actually contribute to this hellsite

last thing i googled: color dropper online for the 10495903 time because i changed my theme 3 times in a day

other blogs: i keep saying i’m gonna make a girl group blog but i cant even get myself to be on this one as much as i want to be

do i get asks?: every now and then i get one from a mutual but i’m pretty sure mobile tumblr eats like at least 75% of the asks i get because i always get notifications for asks but then i go to my asks and nothing new is there it’s very frustrating so sorry if you send me an ask and it goes unanswered i probably didn’t get it at all i’m so sorry

why did i chose my url?: because kim seokjin is the absolute bestest boy and i think it’s about time that fact is publicly recognized

following?: idk like 460 something?

followers?: yes i love them 🤲🏼

average hours of sleep: fortunately i don’t start work until noon every day so i can stay up until 3 am and still get 7/8 hours of sleep which really works out. sometimes i only get 4 though bc ✌🏻🤪✌🏻

lucky number: mmmmmmm yeah no not a concept i think i can get behind anymore

instruments: i can play the ukulele! and i really wanna learn the drums and the piano but both are time consuming and expensive

what am i wearing?: a tube top and sweatpants and my knock off mic drop socks that just say mic on both sides :)

dream job?: doing what yoongi actually applied to big hit for

favorite food: this changes by the week but i’ll eat about anything with pasta or peach flavoring. also dumplings.

tea or coffee: water please 🥰🥰

nationality: unfortunately i am all american

favorite song: no no, no. i have favorite songS that are all very important to me for different reasons i can’t get myself to explain rn but atm the toppers are 28 and spring day ALWAYS, epiphany, paradise, 134340, home, serendipity, cry for me and also likey by twice, romeo and juliet and also mover awayer and also all in my head by hobo johnson, all you are is history by state champs, and the entirety of …Is a Real Boy by say anything. all of these tend to sit at the top of the list generally but by no means are all my favorites. how dare i be asked to pick a favorite ugh

last book i read: i don’t remember the last time i had the motivation to read thats so upsetting but i always recommend I’ll Give You the Sun by jandy nelson

top three virtual universes you’d want to live in: gonna just let my full weeb out on this one so bear with me; the house they move to in my neighbor totoro is my ultimate dream in life, soul eater so i can be best friends with black star, and kill la kill because i like girls thank you

tagging // @mykrokosmos @yoongisshadow @ccypher3 @sugacutie @jaehyukkies @cowboyjinbop @taejinnies @bibillyhillsbaby @strawberryjimi @rmftjin @stardustyoongi @ftyoongi @flowerkth @floraljimin and also @vantehobi even though i know you won’t do it and it’s fine i just can’t not tag you ok love you most muah

[tobebugjewce]

THE WALTEN FILES: my jumbled notes on my blind run-in with this web series

first off this is gonna be long and unorganized, also this is my second time writing this as i had lost literally half of my progress and im This (imagine two fingers almost touching with a 0.0000000001mm distance between them) close to ripping all of the fucking hair out of my goddamn head. but now this will be extra long and yes, i will lose some accuracy to my first writing but thats okay ill probably edit this a kajillion times over

which brings me to my next tangent; im literally braindumping here. so to have a smidge of organization all afterthoughts, edits and corrections will be boldened, i forgot what im gonna do with italicized text but ill probably bolden it here yeah im pretty sure its for side tangents, separate from Corrections, which are in bold. also theyre for emphasis too.

so in general, this post right here is all of my notes i wrote down on my grid-patterned sticky notes (which i used WAYYYY too much of) about the first 3 uploaded walten files youtube videos transferred onto my handy dandy digital notebook, this b(l)og. yeppers peppers. you know im serious about this shit when i typed probably over like a thousand fucking words including boldened shit, italicized shit and motherfucking links, lost it ALL, and im sitting here re-typing it again.

i feel bad about this but im not gonna trigger warn right here, but this is technically a warning. if you want a list of triggers as to what this post (and the walten files in general) i will link a little list to that here

without further a doo doo, (mama mia) here the fucking fuck we go again.

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #1

clarifying this now, im gonna put some useless shit which i thought was code onto this because even though it was useless it was part of my notes and im physically going to combust if i dont put down every single thing i wrote on my papers. so what i thought was code was in the closed captions, i started writing it down when i got to the second video but came back to my first videos notes to include them. i wrote down the first letter to every word that was capitalized in the closed captions, which i had on as a default because number one i knew going into this id need them because most web horror things like args and cryptic shit like that has some of the most crucial shits in the closed captions. number two i am autistic and have auditory processing issues and have most closed captioning on as a default if theyre available.

firstly jotted, i wrote down the closed captions “code” so im gonna put the rest here too: HYWITB(BSI)Y A(BSI)BJWFKWITW ILHHFSBBSBTLBWI USOISTBNBSFIRBCAWHSHCBWHTAIGRNB*C*BTWLTSFA(20)MCFP ILITIIACPH(1978, 1979)SA(4)YTSCH*C*OGSSU SFTGRPATDBBUTFBNLLCHMIHLBRALLCLAYTUKB*LC*WHATWASTHATTHING 

the numbers in parenthesis are there because i wasnt sure they should be included in the “code” or not. i also thought of this with the BSI - bunny smiles incorporated and also the years 1978 and 1979. the shits in asterisks are coughs and light coughs, which were capitalized in the closed captions so i included them too just in case

i then jotted, in parenthesis of course, the names of the animatronics when they were listed in the animation section of the video; bon aka the blue bunny, sha aka the sheep one, boozoo aka the clown<3 honk<33, and banny aka the purpled eyelashed up one who is also a bunny btw. also i got boozoo the clown and boozoo the mustache guy confused because apparently the clowns name is billy???? but they named “boozoo” in bons sleepover and showed the clown? idk maybe im an idiot and theyre the same or just an idiot and theyre different or a super mega (matt and ryan?!?!??) idiot in general which is probably the case

i started drawing little stars to write down things i thought would be super important or to 100% look at again. the first subject of this pointy torture was the part of the video where at 3:00, i marked it down to make sure to reverse the audio as it was most definitely a weird audio that has that signature warp-y effect that makes sure you KNOW its in reverse. i then listened back to it Very carefully (still got it wrong) and got this: “you finally start to remember. that old doll. they will look out for you soon” im also pretty sure i heard “sophie” at the end of that audio but im not entirely sure and dont remember and i dont wanna go back to check lmfao but anyways it didnt matter because i was wrong anyway. after i had finished all 3 walten files i watched the film theory video on the walten files (which didnt cover all 3 but was dece.) out of curiosity and to hear matpats signature silly little voice explain some stuff i already knew, and click some shit in my brain that i couldve thought up of if i was a bit more... i dont know honestly. anyways yeah so the actual audio is “you finally start to remember. that old day. they will look out for you soon.” so yeah. day, not doll.

i then wrote down “sarah evelyn”, the name on the bons sleepover animation (i dont remember if she created it or animated it or whatnot) and scribbled will she matter? under her name. turns out no, as i didnt see her name in the rest of the series, let alone the first video. this is also a great time to mention how matpat theory helped me realize that the walten files are collections of videos, uploaded onto youtube by anthony. (i already knew about anthony as he signed his name in the descriptions of the youtube videos, making me categorize this overall web series more into an arg type genre.) but yes, the tapes, recorded “irl” footage, animated clips, vhs tape recordings and other audio-visual content is all collected and labeled the walten files, as i had mistaken each video to be a tape. stupid me. alrighty, onward!

i starred this one, good for me; MISSING: Jack Walten LAST SEEN: 06/11/1974

i jotted down with an arrow that; sophie was a nightguard? she was wearing the uniform explained in tape 2 i dont know why but i went back into my video 1 notes after i had watched video 2. organization purposes. i guess.?? 

i then paused the video when the screen flickered a date, the beginning of video footage dated 10/10/1982 (Brian Stells?) god my little genius ass assuming the videographer was brian stells, based on the id card i saw earlier.

i then wrote down what text i saw on the dead, mangled, bloody body in the purple security suit; “i cant feel anything” “he thought i was her” then drew a little arrow pointing to; thought brian was sophie? or ashley? i also starred the name Brian Stells this is totally out of order LMFAOOOOOOOO also i wrote down ashley because, again, my little pea brain went back on my video 1 notes after watching video 2. but yep thats all i wrote for The Walten Files 1 - Company Introductory Tape

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #2 

Tape #1 - created 07/02/1978

awesome how thats first and foremost in the captions. god. so sexy of you martin walls. /j /nsx

this pack of notes is chunkier because again, like i have mentioned before i am an absolute goober and thought the capitalized letters of the words would actually mean something. I MEAN MAYBE THEY DO AND IM JUST DOING IT WRONG but i stopped doing it after this video because holy shit it was exhausting and my stupid little fingers couldnt take the writing anymore becasue i am WEAK. 

so write off the bat (squeak) i wrote down 197[] the blacked out rectangle over the last digit of that year and everything im also now assuming its probably 1978 or 1974 because lore reasons but whos to say but yeah i also wrote down this;

Tape #2 - created 08/13/1978

then, straight up in the beginning of the video i caught it, the flash of text, as i had by now realized i gotta be SUPER stupid focused on the screen in case i miss anything, i wanted to be crazy precise on my theorizing and mental notes, among other things. but yes i saw it, the first half of a youtube link;  “https://youtu” 

claps hands together and rubs them evilly. oh yeah baby. thats the hot lunch. this shit right here? the cats pajamas. lets fucking go.

i wrote down this goofy shit i pasued to inspect when i saw bon sorting through a file cabinet and naturally scribbled down the labels and other written things i could see on the files; 

relocate X/X/75 felix

storage K-9 07/23/1975 felix k(ranken)

Bons Burgers 06/28/1974 Jack Walten

Shipping Service 1975

New Location -> 1982

i also wrote down more goofy shit, like when banny was created for some reason; in 1974

starred, i noted to go back and reverse the audio at 5:09, when played back, i didnt write it down so i dont remember. lmao.

i also marked to screenshot and brighten the darkened image i saw at 5:20, i was going to do it on my phone then realized i can just do it on my computer so i quickly took a screenshot, brightened it and wrote down what i saw; a missing person poster that read MISSING: SUSAN WOODINGS(?) Last seen: 1974 i was very unsure of the spelling of her last name because the image was so goddamn low quality and grainy but its what i saw. this is where tape #3 gets thrown in, which im gonna type again because i like how the formatting looks;

Tape #3 - created 07/09/1978 (BEFORE tape 2?!//1/1??? its more likely than you think)

i wrote down more dates, any dates i saw, i jotted down. i wrote; 

Technical Support 1978 

then, 

Brian Stells (for some reason i dont remember right now)

alrighty this is where the stupid capitalized letters come in, but before it looks like i vomit a keysmash time infinity on this, ill put down the little inbetween things i wrote in the midst of the caps lockalypse like timestamps and stuff, so here you go;

- Reverse at 8:16 which i did but of course didnt write down what i heard. i think it was too warbled to hear anything clear out of it, or it was just the good ol auditory processing issues fucking me over yet again. WAIT yep yes i did here it is: “rosemary would go to the restaurant every night hoping that [her] beloved husband would reappear after being missing for weeks but no response until one day [s]he heard a voice [saying] ‘i know where he is rosie’ coming from the back stage” the bracketed stuff is the corrections, i misheard the audio and thought the audio said “his”, “he” and “singing” like a nimrod

- Brighten at 10:14 which was another missing person poster, but i dont think it had any information on it because i didnt write it down, just;

- Sophie again (pic at 9:08?) (dismemberd and put in Sha) i was stupid and wrong haha idiot it was rosemary who was put in sha but anywho

i starred and underlined a huge thing i discovered which was;

- Walten had 3 kids which i dont remember how i found out but it doesnt matter, its good important info i uncovered.

- Tape #4 - Unkown Date

- recorded 07/12-07/14 1978 

- Hilary B, Ashley P & Kevin W i made sure to get these names down as soon as i saw them on screen but then realized shortly after i wouldnt really need to have it as the closed captions made sure i knew which person was talking by using their first initial (capitalized of course) before each line of text. this is the perfect time to announce the arrival of the clusterfuck of capital letters, which is going to include colons which will indicate that the letter before it is the initial of the person talking. without further aedue, here comes another chinese earthquake;

TCWTSTATO(K-9)TBSSFWFCNEHAWBSUBIUC(BSIIDC)OWHISF INBIJTILNSPL(K-9)LCSCKCCCWTTLTLITTTYROTFAJAMHPYYSTCSPMBBWSBIB H:NTPPCCK:DA:HH:YCPRPMWTCBCRAWK:JH:SYYTCPBACPSTBAWCA:TK(?):FMTTCMK:TCPNOA:DTOFK:ITNPPRA:YBUTIRRFH:HKIBESRAIA:TCK:WA:WPCCFTRRIDPEH:GGK:GPA:LKK:WA:HNCGTKMK:YH:IGKA:ESK:MFH:RK:HILRLBNTRPPUWHITRRTPEIFEPH:YWBEBPK:MAHPBTRPTRPEL(LN)HTACPKLIKHPFITSKLTKLB(LB?)ISIBSUBIPRW AEBATHSPUAICTPURTWBBRPHTRTIIIILTCITCUCCP S(bpe, be)WA”IDCPBPSIB

holy shit its finally over okay now onto some MORE of what i wrote down in between and also after that keysmash attack;

12 doors? (backrooms) 27? 26? i was unsure because ashley was unsure too lmfao

found cassette (6/11/78) <- says “discard”? yeah it did

Tape in clown audio, speaking voice; jack, susan, charles(?), rosemary, sophie, last word sounds like “walrus” it was walten lmfao

Ashley died? yeah she did lmfao OR AT LEAST I THINK SO??

starred this one, Reverse @ 17:06, then got this;

“they left the next day, they thought ashley left early, but she was in the backdoors, screaming as much as she could, but no one heard the screams, the following days the caretakers would complain about an awful smell coming from the backdoors, company decided to shut down facility until new advice, the relocate project was unsuccessful. ashley is still there, but she is not screaming anymore, she saw something she wasnt supposed to see and now shes beautiful” the phrase “shes beautiful” was repeating like a bajillion times in that wall of text. then, god motherfuckng bless: 

at 17:23 i found the other half of the youtube link, “.be/k07QqEDOfQ” i pieced that bad boy together as instant as i think any form of ramen could never be, but remained ever patient. because i made sure to jot down this before moving onto my next segment;

@ end of vid 2, “shadow man sees* me when lights go off” im an idiot *it was actually “feeds” not “sees”, which AGAIN, i only found out after watching the stupid little film theory video *begins snarling and foaming at the mouth*

okay im not proud to admit im editing this to post it and realized ive lost my notes. well. 

might as well post what ive got! if i find my shit ill add onto this, i suppose.

[atiny-ahgase]

A message to my Moots

Hey all, I originally wasn’t gonna do this cause I honestly didn't even know where to begin (I still don't tbh) but I said that I’ll still give it a try cause I wanted to tell you all my feelings before the new year rolls around (for me at least lol). So let’s get too it.

Firstly thank you to every single person that follows me, or has read any of my fics or liked any of my edits or even just interacted with me in any form. Thank you for the immense love and support that I’ve received on this site, honestly I didn't expect to make any friends here and the fact that I was able to meet and befriend so many amazing people. So I just wanna say thank you so much for being a part of my life. I’ve always put up walls and I’m really bad at getting close to others but Tumblr was the first site that I’ve really felt comfortable enough to be the real me. So thank you for that.

Now on to the Mentions

I had no idea how to start this so I decided to start at the beginning.

@mingishoe -Luna, you were the reason that I joined Tumblr in the first place, your fics brought me here and your interactions with other blogs opened up so many doors for me and helped me to interact and befriend so many amazing people. You were the first person that I ever sent an ask to, you made me feel so comfortable and welcome so thank you for that. Thank you for being you, a literal moon; bright and beautiful always lighting up the way. I honestly don't think that I would ever be able to explain how much I love, admire and look up to you, I honestly can’t find the words. Honestly, just thank you for being there for your little anon (Idk if you know which anon I am though lol)

@vocalyunho -Ames!!!!! The 2nd person that I followed! an absolute angel. You are such a calm soul and I just love your vibe and energy so much. I think that I’ve said this a million times but you just make me feel so safe and secure, you have such a calm and capable aura that is just so soothing to me. Thank you for coming into my life and being the amazing person that you are.

@jonghoshoe -ZAD!!! Baby Brother! My Teddy Bear! My Sunflower!! Where do I even begin?!? You were basically my first friend on Tumblr (and I am even more grateful to Luna cause I found you through her). IDK what it was about you but you had such an amazing out look on life while still being chaotic in the best way possible. I would wake up every morning and look out for your posts cause you would always make me smile. Without even knowing it you became a big part of my life and I am so grateful for that. You were my motivation when I was feeling down, you encouraged me to see the good things in the word, you hyped me up to write fics; honestly you are part of why I am the Gabby that I am today and I cant thank you enough for that, I love and admire you so much.

Next on my list is my little bunny @lustjoong -PK PK PK, my knee loving queen!!!! IDEK what to say cause I feel as though I confess my love to you at least twice a week on discord lol. I love talking with you, you're incredibly level headed and give amazing advice (which I always need cause I’m a mess lol). I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again that I admire you so much and would of never imagined that I would of ever gotten the chance to talk to you (much less be able to call you my friend) cause in my mind I always saw you as this amazing and untouchable writer (but then I realized that I’m taller than you so... lol I’m kidding). I’m happy that you found out that I was messaging you on anon and thank you for reaching out to me. I look forward to more chaotic conversations and knee pics in the new year.

@atiny-piratequeen -FIE I FREAKING LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT I MIGHT EXPLODE!! You fill me with so much life that I cant even begin to explain. I’ve said this a million times before but I love how you aren't afraid to speak you mind and say how you feel. You're such a strong figure to me here on the platform and I've always admired how natural and bold you are with your opinions. I find your personality to be extremely refreshing and welcoming, I was never afraid to interact with you (I combusted when you sent me an ask but that’s only natural..) so thank you for providing me (and a lot of other Atiny) with a safe and welcoming place that we can come to.

@twancingyunhoe -Allyssa!!! My mom!!!! My cookie baking, Yunho loving, cat mom!! where do I even begin?? Thank you for being an absolute angel! You shine so brightly here and you're always so supportive to literally everyone. I am and always will be there for you no matter what so I want you to remember that in the coming year. and remember that I love you in your highs and your lows and I am available to provide cuddles anytime they are needed or wanted cause you are precious to me ok luv.

@felixs-moonlight -my little duckling AJ!!! I’m wishing you the best in the new year cause that's what best bois deserve! You are so incredibly sweet and caring so don't you ever forget. Even if you do forget don't worry cause I will always be there to remind you.

@seoultraveller -Cat. Your presence makes me so happy!! IDEK what it is I just love seeing you on my dashboard, when I don't see you I wonder how you are. I hope that this new years is treating you well. Also, you are NOT boring and lets talk a lot more in the coming year okay luv

@yunhozone -Jey!! I miss you, I hope that you're well, its been raining lately so I hope that you're staying dry and safe. I love your boldness and sense of humor so please don't ever change. i started following you on a whim and I have never regretted following you ever since. You make me smile and laugh so much and I hope that I can do the same for you in the coming years. Stay safe okay luv

@pirate-hongjoong -Kayla, lets both talk more in the coming year ok luv. I pretty much told you everything that I wanted to on your post so I’ll try to keep this short. I think that you're really sweet and we should get to know each other more, I’ll try to reach out some more and be a little less shy. so lets continue to grow our friendship okay.

@taelepathysroom -You were the first friend that I made on Tumblr all on my own (meaning that I didn't see you interacting with a moot or anything, I found you all by myself) to this day I don't remember how I mustered up the bravery to message you. I remember wanting to message you on anon and realizing that you had anon off and I STILL went for it lol, apparently I was wilding. But that was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, I love talking with you and receiving all of your extremely important messages and I look forward to many more (my heart is not ready but it is fine).

@moongaera -Gaera you are such a great motivation to me and I’m so happy to be a part of your life. You are so sweet and incredibly talented. I love seeing you on my dashboard and talking with you cause you honestly make my heart want to explode.

@yungidreamer - Big sister!!!! Kelsi!!! My aesthetic queen who I am convince is tryna kill me on our discord chat you are so kind and helpful and give such great tips. You are such a calm soul and I love interacting with you (especially when things feel crazy) its like you just magically know the answer to everything.

@yunhoiseyecandy -Violet, we don't really talk much but I think that you're really cool and fun so lets talk lots in 2021 ok. Also IDK why I felt like this was the perfect place to post this but you're the only moot whos emoji pops up when I start to type their name in the hashtags and I always thought that its really cute. (You're also really cute). I think that we would be really good friends so I cant wait to talk with you more.

@hwaberrykiwi -CAM CAM CAM CAM CAM!!!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!! You are so fun to talk to and so sweet and so calming and you make my heart feel like its bursting (in the best way possible). I hope that you're well and I look forward to sharing more moments here with you on Tumblr (and I am still keeping my promise of not eating Lemon Bars if they aren't from you so...)

@atinywrites -Angel!!! My precious, little angel who always attacks my poor little heart. I love your messages and how you just pop up randomly and shower me with love (then I read your posts and you're just straight up roasting people JBJDJFILJFISREHF) I love absolutely everything about you and I’m really happy that we met each other, I cant wait to see what 2021 has in store for us.

@choisans-dimples -Cass my dearest little Sugar Plum, apart from you being absolutely precious you are also extremely previous to me. I remember our first interactions and they still bring a smile to my face (we were like Tom and Jerry and honestly in a way we still are lol). But you mean so much to me and you never fail to make me laugh or smile no matter what is going on in my life. I wish for you to never lose that smile in 2021 and if it ever begins to falter just know that I’m here ok luv

@latte-fairytaekwoon -Latte, I’m not gonna lie; when Mei started adopting family members I felt like my brain was gonna explode but I gotta hand it to her cause she has great taste in family cause she chose you. If it wasn't for her then I probably would of never found you. if that happened then who would spoil me rotten?!? I am so happy to have met you I honestly thrive every time I see you on my dashboard, you are absolutely hilarious and I love to see your interactions. I cant wait to see what you do in 2021 and all of the other years to come. Thanks for being a great Tumblr Mom

@little-precious-baby -Mei, where do I begin?? You came out of no where for me, you just sort of appeared and then in the blink of an eye you became so dear to me. Id just find myself looking out for your posts and wondering how you are. IDK how to explain it but you've somehow managed to bring so many amazing individuals together in such a short time, you're absolutely amazing and I hope that one day you'll be able to see yourself the way that we already see you. Ik that things can be hard (and they will be because that’s life) but just know that this family that you helped to bring together is always here for you when you need someone to confide in and when it feels like its too much and you need a break we’ll be right here waiting for you until you come back. Just remember that your big sis loves you ok my little bean.

@ateez-little-star -JAS!!!!!! My babie sister IDK how to write this without crying cause you make me so happy that idek what to do. You are so bold and brave while still being shy and cute, I cant explain it. You are so wholesome to talk to and so fun and interesting and sweet and loveable! Like how could someone not love you!! Thank you for always checking up on me and showering me with love and just making me smile.

@yunhofingers -My sweet little bean who definitely never behaves badly!! I am sending you all of the positive vibes for the new year. Ik that things wont always be easy but just know that I’m always here and I believe in you. You are so sweet and kind and bold and I love that about you, don't ever change and thank you so much for making me smile; I hope that I can do the same for you in 2021 and beyond cause I hope that we can be friends for a really long time.

I also wanted to include the moots that I do interact with but I also want to talk to even more in the coming year. Thank you for being here for both me and other people in the kpop community. I love your blogs and you all are so incredibly kind (and ridiculously entertaining; I’m looking at you Caly and Vivi lol), I hope that we can become even better friends.

@hanatiny @sansbun @hongism @multidreams-and-desires @smallfrye @aixy-hpsa @galaxteez @jongpleasure @simphwa @inkigayeo @heeseungluvs

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Home - Part 21

A/N- Thank you to everyone who’s still reading! I think there’s gonna be one more part and an epilogue then this will be done :) 💕 

32 weeks Pregnant

"Im so over being pregnant now Wanda you have no idea!" I moaned as we sat in the newly decorated nursery folding the baby clothes id washed through. The extension was finished and Bucky, Steve and Sam had done a great job of doing the twins nursery.

Wanda had been amazing helping me with the girls, i was always so tired nowadays.

"I bet, it looks uncomfortable now. Im glad I'm only having the one!" She laughed holding a hand against her own tiny bump, she and Sam had found out she was pregnant 4 months ago.

"I told Bucky id be the size of a house with these boys! You've seen the size of him so its no surprise is it!" I laughed shaking my head as i rubbed the side of my stomach.

"You okay?" Wanda asked looking concerned.

"Yeah think I've got a foot digging in somewhere.... their running out of room in here now"

"Not long now hun"

"Im counting down the weeks, this whole pregnancy has flown by up until now! Now its taking forever"

"You getting nervous?"

"A little bit, but mostly i just want them here already"

"When is Bucky due back from his trip?"

"Later tonight, it was meant to be tomorrow but he won the case, it all got settled a lot earlier than he thought it would, his driving back tonight"

"Do you want me stay over until he gets home?"

"Its fine Wand his already arranged for Steve to stay when he gets back with the girls and stay until his home"

"Thats okay then, i just didn't want you being on your own"

"Im never on my own lately" i shook my head and laughed.

"Their very protective" she agreed, they had been terrible lately! One of them was always with me incase anything happened. The only reason they weren't here now was because Wanda was here!

"I know they mean well but they are driving me crazy! Every time i go to get up their there! I cant even go to the bathroom without questions"

"That would drive me crazy too! I'll kick Sam's ass if he does that!".

We spent another 30 minutes or so sorting the clothes and other bits before heading downstairs for some tea. Not long after that Steve got back with the girls, he had taken them to the zoo for the day and they all looked exhausted... Steve included!

"Hey you guys, have you had a nice day?" I asked as Allie and Brooke came straight over and cuddled up to me.

"Yeah it was soooo good" Allie smiled up at me before stroking my huge bump.

"Hi baby brothers! I missed you"

"I just felt a kick" Brooke laughed holding a hand to the side of my tummy where i had been feeling it before.

"Looks like they missed their big sisters huh?" I smiled at them both.

"Im gonna head home now Steve's back to keep you company. Call me if you need anything" Wanda said hugging me goodbye before saying goodbye to Steve and the girls and heading off.

It didn't take long for me to fall asleep once Wanda had left. Steve ordered some pizza's for the girls dinner because he didn't want to wake me up, when i finally did wake up the pains in my side were back with a vengeance!

"You okay sweetheart?" Steve asked looking worried.

"Yeah just getting uncomfortable.... would you be okay keeping an eye on the girls while i go take a bath, see if it eases off a bit. They might move a bit so its not so bad"

"Yeah sure"

"thanks Steve" i gave him a smile and went up to the bathroom.

STEVE'S POV

I was sitting in the living room watching The Lion King with the girls when i heard Y/N calling for me.

"Steve...?....STEVE!!"

"What??" I called back rushing upstairs to the bathroom "What is it??!" I asked from the other side of the door.

"Erm...I think the babies are coming!" She called back sounding like she was freaking out.

"Oh shit..... have your waters broke?!"

"How do i know im in the tub!! All i know is it hurts like a bitch!"

"Okay. Okay.... let me call Sam and Wanda to come look after the girls and i'll take you to the hospital"

"Call Bucky!! If this is it i want him there!"

"Okay im calling him now" i told her pulling out my cell and dialling Bucky.

"Steve...." she said quietly from inside the bathroom.

"Yeah sweetheart?"

"Im gonna need you to help me out of the tub..... i can't do it on my own"

Oh shit!

"Hey Steve, everything okay?" Bucky answered after the second ring.

"No Buck! No! Everything is not okay! I think Y/N's having the babies and now i have to go help her out of the tub!"

"What?? But its too early! This isn't supposed to be happening yet!!" Bucky said loudly "I'm still a couple hours out.... erm can you get her to the hospital and i'll meet you there?.... call Becca to come watch the kids...."

"Im gonna call Sam and Wanda their closer, Wanda said to call if we needed anything"

"Okay that works"

"Buck, what about the fact i gotta get your girl outta the tub??"

"Steve!! Will you hurry up for fuck sake!" Y/N yelled through the door.

"Just do it pal, you gotta help her for me"

"Okay, I'm gonna put you on speaker...."

As i opened the bathroom door i stuck my head in slowly and let out a sigh of relief when i saw she had pulled her towel over her to hide her nakedness.

"Did you reach Buck?"

"Im here baby" Bucky said as i put the phone down on the counter and went to help her up from the tub.

"Bucky..... how long are you gonna be?"

"Couple hours tops....i'll be there i promise! But i need you to go with Steve. His gonna stay with you until i get there"

"Okay".

Once i helped Y/N out of the tub i wrapped a dry towel around her and helped her into the bedroom so she could get dressed.

"Im gonna call Sam while you get dressed, i'll be just outside if you need me" i told her with a reassuring smile.

Reader POV

I was still getting dressed when i heard the knocking at the front door.

"Uncle Steve, Uncle Sam and Auntie Wanda are at the door!" Brooke called up the stairs.

"Okay sweetheart, can you let them in please?"

"Okay"

"Steve, you can come in I'm dressed" i called to him, he came in and grabbed my bag i had packed for the hospital and then wrapped an arm around me to help me downstairs.

"You okay?" Wanda asked as soon as she saw me.

"Honestly i have no idea" i shook my head and laughed nervously "thanks for coming"

"No worries darlin'.... i blue lighted it here!" Sam laughed, that would explain how they got here so quick.

"Okay lets get you to the hospital.... i dont want to have to deliver these babies" Steve joked before leading me out to the car.

When we arrived at the hospital they took us straight through to a delivery room and made me change into a hospital gown (which Steve had to help with!) And then hooked me up to various machines to monitor mine and the babies heart beats. Id been here for over an hour now and the contractions were getting so much worse, i was already tired and i hadn't even gotten to the bad bit yet.... I'm pretty sure Steve hates me for squeezing his hand so tight every time a contraction hits, but he smiles through gritted teeth and tries to keep me calm.

"I want Bucky.... why is it taking so long?" I moaned after getting through a rather bad contraction.

"He'll be here soon sweetheart" Steve smiled brushing my sweaty hair back from my face.

"Thank you for staying with me Steve, I'm not sure how id be coping on my own" i told him truthfully "owww! Shit my back is cramping...."

"You can turn her onto her side and rub her back dad" a nurse that i hadn’t even noticed til now said to Steve as she checked the monitors.

"Oh... oh I'm not dad, I'm dad's best friend. His on his way"

"Oh sorry i just assumed. You can still help her out though" she shrugged.

"Sure, i can do that"

"Its fine you don't have to....." i started to say not wanting to make him uncomfortable.

"I got you, come on lets get you on your side" he smiled helping me roll onto my side so he could massage the cramp from my back.

"Oh my god Steve! You've got magic hands i swear!" I moaned as the pressure started to ease.

"Don't let Buck hear you moaning my name like that sweetheart he might kick my ass" he chuckled trying to make me laugh.

"Too late punk" came the voice of the man i was waiting for.

"Bucky! Your here!" I cried as he walked over and kissed me.

"I told you i would be didn't i?"

"I was just trying to help" Steve said quickly holding his hands up.

"I know, thanks Steve. Thanks for looking out for my girl" they exchanged a manly hug before Bucky took his place rubbing my back.

"Anytime, girls got a grip on her just a heads up. I think she broke my hand"  we all started laughing at that but the room fell silent when the alarm on one of the monitors started going off.

"What is that.....whats going on?!" I said panicking as the nurse came back in followed closely by the Doctor. The Doctor stood at the machine looking at a print out before turning to face us.

"Lay her on her back please.... at last one of the babies is in distress" the doctor said. Bucky helped me turn onto my back again and the Doctor started pushing around at my stomach.

"Ow!!!" I cried out in discomfort squeezing Bucky's hand.

"What are you doing!?" Bucky snapped at him looking like he was ready to murder the doctor.

"Im trying to turn the babies a bit, i think one of them may have the cord trapped...." he said as he continued trying to manipulate the babies positioning. Suddenly the alarm stopped beeping and he stepped back to the machine.

"Y/N, i think we're going to have to perform a c-section. The babies are in distress and your not dilated enough yet to do this naturally. Usually we'd give you some medication to help you along but i really don't want to leave them much longer. The quicker we can get them out the better" 

"Okay.... whatever you think is best Doc. I just want my babies to be safe"

"Nurse go tell them to prep the OR"

"Yes Doctor" she said quickly before rushing out.

"Lets go have these babies shall we?"

I nodded at the Doctor and turned to look at Bucky "Buck im scared"

"You'll be fine baby, i'll be right there. You've got this" he smiled kissing me quickly.

"I'll wait in the waiting room, good luck sweetheart" Steve beamed down at me pressing a kiss to my head before hugging Bucky. The nurse came back with a porter who pulled my bed out and started wheeling me down towards the OR, Bucky walking along side me holding my hand as we got ready to meet our newest additions.

Home taglist: @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @lumar014

@bbmommy0902 @past-perfect-future-tense @heathens-takeitsl0w @captainchrisstan @ladymelissastark @93generation @sebastianstansqueen @oceansxpurple @Imjstaghoststory @rainbowkisses31 @superavengerpotterstar @cap-just-said-language @booktease21 @ms-betsy-fangirl @wildest-dream- @michelehansel @thummbelina @abbylizy @sweetlittlegingy @lorabem @barnesandrogersworld @dumblani @broco8 @xxloki81xx @keithseabrook27 @jesseswartzwelder @saiyanprincessswanie @stormi-ames

[insomnihan]

han’s Entire Thoughts and Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “Boca”

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALRIGHT SO-

THE SONG HAD THE F UCKING NERVE THE AUDACITY THE GUMPTION AND THE GALL TO BE AS BOMB AS IT IS literally the moment i heard that rain and thunder i was f cukity F CIKED the way that they just know how to work with more gentle verse parts and theN PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE WITH THE CHORUS ITSELF SPEAKING OF THE CHORUS ITS F UCKING CRAZY??????????? THAT????????? GODDAMN GUITAR????????????? OWNS MY ASS??????????? OH MY F UCKING GOD JUST THE WAY GAHYEON STARTS IT OFF TO EASE US INTO IT HMMMMMMMMMM- THE ABSOLUTE POWER IN DAMIS FIRST RAP........... SHES SICK™ FOR THAT!!!!!! ‘HOLD UP’ YEAH HOLD UP I WASNT READY DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!! THEN DAMIS AND GAHYEONS RAPS IN THE SECOND VERSE YOU CANT EXPECT TO BE OKAY AFTER THAT™ ARE YOU SERIOUS- just all of their voices............ the way theyre just so powerful and emotional and you can tell............. siyeon pls your high notes holy f uck-

WHAT IM SAYING Is this song was such a good follow up to scream like F UCK i literally ask after every comeback ‘will they top this’ and tHEN THEY DO

i was so boo boo the fool like i really thought since diamond and breaking out fell into the same genre that it wouldnt be intense like This im 🤡

SO I WILL BE USING THE COMEBACK SHOWCASE TO TALK ABOUT THE DANCE BC OH MY GOD- so they all said that this song was their hardest dance yet................. queens of dance I F UCJUNG SWEAR

FIRST OF ALL THE BEGINNING POSE IS EVERYTHING™

THE PART AFTER THAT WITH DAMI PULLING YOOHYEON INTO HER SINGING PART....................... i just like it a lot

HONESTLY DAMIS ENTIRE PART

YOOHYEONS PART BEFORE THE CHORUS

THE ACTUAL CHORUS

both the upside down triangle hand symbol AND then for ‘boca’ where they make their hands like a mouth................... Iconic™

GAHYEON WITH THE FLAGS?????????? HELLO????????

and then dami................................. i-

the flags............... sua and jiu and yoohyeon.......... Thinking A Lot™

this part with jius bridge lives rent free in my brain

sua sitting on the dancers shoulders and singing the most hard hitting lyrics in the song thats it thats the bullet point

just................. the WHOLE ENDING

shouldve really just put the entire damn video here but i already wrote it out

THEY NEVER PLAY AROUND WITH THE VISUALS EVER!!!!!!!!!!! THE COLORS ARE ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS AND VIBRANT THE SETS ARE SO DREAMLIKE???????? I WISH I CAN FULLY EXPLAIN IT BUT ALL I COULD REALLY DO IS DESCRIBE THEM AS THEY ARE- THE PINK SET THEY DANCE IN IS SO COOL TO ME THE PLACE WITH THE TREES AND GRASS AND THEYRE DANCING IN THE F UCKING WATER AND WHERE GAHYEON HURTED US WITH HER RAP AND WHEN THEYRE ALL JUST STANDING AROUND LIKE BEAUTIFUL PRINCESSES AND WHERE YOOHYEON SAT AMAZINGLY- AND WHERE SIYEON STANDS WITH ALL THE BUSTS WITH TAPE OVER THEIR MOUTHS THE SYMBOLISM™!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEN WHEREVER DAMI WAS IN GENERAL.................. [REST]

TIME TO SHOW WHICH SCENES I LIKED

THE WHOLE F UCKING THING MOVING ON-

T H E M

okay................................ everyone who follows me KNOWS that im just so whipped for all these women if i was a Brave Bicth™ id tell them they were all beautiful every day to their faces but if this is your first time seeing this CHAOTIC AS F UCK series of posts then-

LOOKATTHEMBEINGBEAUTIFULANDETHEREALPRINCESSESINONESCENETHENBADBITCHESINTHENEXTAREYOUKIDDINGMEICANTBELIEVETHEYREALLYOUTHERELOOKINGLIKETHIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JIU

BELLE????????????? BELLE IS THAT YOU???????????? why does Miss JiU over here just got to be one of the most beautiful women in the GODDAMN UNIVERSE I CANT STAND THIS LOOK AT THIS PICTURE!!!!!! i wont lie to yall but it was gonna be this one or the one kinda at the beginning where shes wearing red..................... and....................... her neck- THE RED IS FIRE BY THE WAY AND THE SAME OUTFIT BUT IN LIKE R.o.S.E BLUE WITH THE CHAIN STEP ON ME- and the black one that we dont really see a lot of.................. the sheer of it............ bicth-

SUA

yes it was absolutely necessary for me to use this shot

OFC MY BICTH ASS NEARLY FELL OFF HIS F CUKING BED WHEN SHE SHOWED UP IN THE TEASER JUST COVERED IN WATER I SWEAR I COULDNT BREATHE FOR LIKE TEN MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! first of all the red and blue ones just one sleeve and those shorts and all those belts I DUNNO JUST THIS WOMAN AND CROP TOPS OKAY IM LOSING IT IM THIS 👌 CLOSE and then the white dress i cant stand her i really cant-

SIYEON

HOOOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO MISS LEE SIYEON OUT FOR MY NECK I SEE- i just wanna point out first that i love her love for pants like the rest of the outfits are gonna be worn for performing and they all have those baggy pants she loves so much pls shes everything im 🥺🥺🥺 tho the braids and the high ponytail without and yknow what WITH BANGS TOO im........................ i cant stop staring at this picture-

YOOHYEON

SHE IS NOW A LARGE AND SCARY DOG-

this specific hairstyle in the screenshot........ the braids the safety pins with the brown and pink or whatever it was like three different colors just the Serve™ she is serving in that with that outfit and the back of her skirt is long than the front im weak in the knees for you maam- oH THAT F UCKING RED ONE GRABBED MY NECK NAILS INTO MY SKIN AND ALL AND ENDED ME HONESTLY and that chain necklace.......................... keeping words to myself-

DAMI

SHES SO HOT AND FOR WHAT my god this blue hair she is WORKING IT- i had such a difficult time even finding a good screenshot of her and i know the moment i just decided with this one that i was just gonna keep getting distracted by it and i am rn as i type this GOD- the all black outfit she shows up in the very first time in the mv..................... [REST] the blue one with the thing on her thigh with the low ponytail................. [REST x2] herself....................... [D*AD]

GAHYEON

POPULAR OPINION: THIS IS HER ERA

THE MOMENT SHE JUST SHOWS UP RIGHT AT THE START SHE GRABBED US BY THE NECKS AND LET US KNOW SHES KILLING IT LIKE THIS this pink hair is doing her like two million favors like the space bun look right here???????? STUNNING just left long and straight??????? BEAUTIFUL the fit with the beige(?) sweater and skirt and that black outfit during her rap verse the pink dress iM D*AD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BONUS TIME: B-SIDE TRACKS (short thoughts and parts i liked)

Intro

A SLAPPER WE LOVE TO HEAR IT-

Break the Wall

oH BICTH the way this song took me back to my edgy middle school years listening to music like this MY GOD THEIR VOICES SOUND SO COOL ON IT like they were using megaphones and s hit THE CHORUS IS SO GOOD IM GOING FERAL™ I FEEL LIKE I CAN CONQUER THE WORLD WITH THIS-

Can’t Get You Out Of My Mind

ALL ENGLISH SONG BICTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its all about the yearning its so catchy and good i was literally already singing it randomly right after the highlight medley like honestly this and break the wall are so nostalgic highkey- their pronunciation is so so SO good!!!!

Dear

JIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭 IM SO SOFT DONT LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she wrote this herself and its just so full of love and thankfulness and gratefulness and appreciation for insomnias SOMEONE PROTECT HER- and then the rest of the members singing so gently and beautifully there are real tears in my eyes...............

LIKE im just gonna say it every comeback now i guess THEY👏NEVER👏DISAPPOINT👏EVER👏 i love being an insomnia so much yknow??? love them as people love them for always providing content and always showing that they love and appreciate their fans and how they always make me laugh and feel better and most importantly of all is THEIR MUSIC not implying anything with capitalizing and bolding that............... unless they are so incredibly talented and show how versatile they are in so many different genres AND THEYVE GROWN SO MUCH IN POPULARITY THIS YEAR AND ARE NOW BEATING THEIR OWN GOALS im so happy to be their fan 😊😊😊 this just became a paragraph of me and how much i love them ANYWAY-

IN CONCLUSION: WHERE IS THE LOVE?????????? ITS BEING DIRECTED AT THIS ALBUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and AS TRADITION:

[oikawa13]

love in the time of köttbullar

Shouyou sets the bowl on the tiny table with a flourish and an itadakimasu! and this is when it hits Atsumu harder than a Skurup to the temple:He wants this. Shouyou, hip cocked against the miniature kitchen countertop, smiling shyly up at Atsumu through the amber fan of his lashes, beautiful god-boy-man somehow glowing gold even under the buzzy LED lighting. Though they’re standing in a 430,000 square foot warehouse in Tsurumachi, Atsumu’s looking at Shouyou, and he’s home.

Amid the Flärdfull and the Smörboll, Miya Atsumu falls a little more in love.

words: 3,378 | rating: T

i’ve never been inside an ikea so this fic quite literally changed me as a person. sometimes loving a person is as scary as saying that first i love you!!!! and sometimes... love is easy as saying i love you at an ikea ; ;

LAUNCHING MERRILY DOWN THE PATH OF SIN (THE FIRST TIME)

"Bokuto said I should bring you home. But I don’t know where you live. So I took you here.”

“To hell?”

"No, Atsumu-san. To my apartment."

words: 1,990 | rating T

i wake up in the middle of the night thinking about this fic and then go on ao3 to reread it again its just so fdjgfhdjf good. i think about this shoyo a lot. theres something!!!! very dreamy going on here. this is the first part to a series btw, you can read them all if you want since theyre probably all around 1k :-)

lord i no longer believe in anything but the way he holds my name between his teeth

The miracle of the rabbit on the moon.

“We took this photo at their seventh birthday party. His father baked a cake. But someone ate all the jellybeans off the top before they could even sing the birthday song. That’s why Atsumu cried. He used to cry a lot. It stopped when the twins found out about volleyball, but before that Atsumu would cry over everything. Spilled milk. A skinned knee. The neighbor’s dog. He was the twin that was scared of paper straws. It's funny how things have changed.

“He looks happier now. Did you do that?”

words: 10,456 | rating: T

so, this goes just a liiiiitle past 10k so its up to you if you want to read it or not, i just thought i’d include it since its so! close! lol theres this part!!!!! they are holding hands underneath the table!!!!!!!!! atsumu are you drunk?!!! no!!!!! hes just so stupidly in love with shoyo. i cant stand them!!!!!!!!!!!

wait for it, wait for it

The notifications are up at 100+ again and Hana wants to check it quickly to make sure nothing's wrong, especially because she'd just cleared them before the media scrum. The fans, she figured, must be overjoyed with the win.Congratulations MSBY Nation!!! the first reply reads. #myspiker #atsuhinaBoth tags, she finds, are currently trending in Japan.

Five times #atsuhina trended on volleyball Twitter and one time it should have (but luckily didn't), as told by the MSBY Black Jackals' junior publicist

words: 6,043 | rating: T

this fic is SOOOOO much fun!!!!!! also i love hana, idk if i ever mentioned that before but yeah. this is like... hdjkdhgjfd so much ; ; <3

south of an early summer

Warmth, then, was being wanted back. Two weeks later, Atsumu holds that warmth in by Shouyou’s waist; he watches it, how it sleeps, and wonders what the heat will become next.

words: 2,602 | rating T | tw: atsumu being atsumu about (past) kg/hn for a split second

IF i wasnt an absolute fool and gave you all these recommendations to pick and choose from id just send you this and the walking emoji bc honestly!!!!!!!!! i may not know what the heck romantic means but i see this and maybe it is romantic! maybe its not the average romantic idk?!!!! but i do know theres something beautiful here. love ?? ; ;

truths in two’s

Shouyou leaves for Brazil in two hours.

words: 8,300 | rating: T

LDR.... but like, in probably one of the easiest 2 breathe/good feeling fic for ldr!!!! idk im a baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ten reasons to break up with me: a love letter

1. It has to be you, ‘cause I won’t.

words: 4,197 | rating: T

pls....... i cant even THINK about this fic without crying okay!!!!!!!! insane. fuckign!!!! i love it so much, so much. it lives in my heart. this is the fic where i was like... i dont believe in love. yes i do. no<3 YES!!!!!!!! and cried and paced my room and finally FINALLY!!!!!! stopped feeling so hurt about hinata leaving for brazil again lmao!! like, i cant explain. this sounds crazy right???? anyway, i think... atsuhina can love each other so much it hurts when theyre apart but their love is so.... i mean......... they literally waited years to play together... so......... their love keeps them going..... GOODBYE!!!! i love listening to fka twigs cellophane & home with you and just..... being insane. 

just can’t help myself

Five times Hinata takes care of Atsumu, and one time Atsumu returns the favor.

words: 5,025 | rating: T

*think about atshn taking care of each other* *cries*

blue crush

And there’s a promise there, sewn into the easy curve of his lips: I’m not going anywhere, Atsumu-san. Glittering eyes that cut through the rain-blurry dark like a beacon when Shouyou turns back to look up at him. Even if you fuck up all of our dates.

Murphy’s Law as demonstrated by Miya Atsumu.

words: 2,297 | rating: T

atsumu trying very hard to have things perfect and romantic and even in the failures its still very lovely<3

If I’m Icarus, You Must be the Sun (Allow me Three Mistakes)

He wonders if Icarus felt like nothing was wrong with self-destructing, because he had reveled in the sun, if only for a little while.

Atsumu finds, loving Hinata is the same.

Atsumu's love over the years, and the mistakes that accompany it.

words: 4,620 | rating: T

i am...very weak to the whole icarus/sun thing with hinata and his ships. this one though......... i think about it A lot.

in your eyes, i see our future

“Yer’ a real sweetheart, Hinata Shouyou.”

Shouyou smiles brilliantly. “Only for you~”

He scoots over so Shouyou can sit next to him. He can smell the pineapple body wash Shouyou is so fond of the moment he sits down. Shouyou passes the tray over carefully before settling against the headboard comfortably.

“What’s the occasion?"

(Or, Atsumu just really wants to marry Shouyou.)

words: 9,769 | rating: T

fhdsjjkjfdsj goes crazy stupid over marriage!!!!! listen... i do not believe in marriage!!!!! but for atsuhina, oh you bet i do!!!! :-)

breathing a hello

There’s no significance to them ending up here except that both of their lives are held in the sway of volleyball. Everything else comes second.That’s the crux of it, really.

words: 2,826 | rating: T

gjhfsjkfd shhhhhhhhh. my heart is very soft when i think of them here, please..... just!!!! pls.

if you’re out there in the cold, i’ll cover you in moonlight

My [23M] best friend and ex-boyfriend [23M] is visiting me for a week, and my current boyfriend [24M] who agreed to all of this is suddenly withdrawing from me. Can I get some advice? Please? Anyone?

words: 8335 | rating: T | chapters: 3 | tw: past kg/hn 😳

this one is optional since you wanted one shots and theres 3 chapters here. my idea of romantic is...well, i especially love when one of them is acting hurtful/mean/difficult to the other bc their own personal issues but the other loves them anyway??? and then they work on that issue!!! just!!!!! ; ;

Love in the Time of Insomnia

And anyway Hinata was sprinting out faithfully after Atsumu, who had keys to the gym like a badass, and who was going to give his spikers a few more tosses after-hours without Meian knowing like the greatest, most generous badass the Jackals had ever seen. 

words: 2,457 | rating: G

running four kilometers just so atsumu can rest. this is what romantic means!!!! hdkshjfhdj

ode to what you’d have been

5 times it’s Kageyama’s fault and the 1 time Hinata realizes it has never been.

words: 3,628 | rating: G

loving someone including their flaws PART 2!!!!!! ok.... u might be like... um... this is romantic? hfdkhjfd LISTEN!!!! to me!!! there is nothing more romantic than being in love with someone and the ugly parts of them. going, i love you, all of you. and communication!!! and understanding!!! and feeling terrible and shitty and horrible but having the one you love accept you. and trying to help ease your mind, worries. *sobs real hard* also shout out 2 ‘okaaayy.... i hate sakusa now’

a shrine for a  boy

Despite his uncertainty about how to tell Atsumu of his move to São Paulo, Hinata takes action. Things do not go according to plan.

words: 2,447 | rating: G

hinatas time 2 be romantic and fail but its ok bc!!!!!!!!!! :-) they are just dummies in love<3

the greatest distance between you and longing is defeat

(In other words: Atsumu, let go. I’m here now.)

words: 3,310 | rating: G

um... *cries* post break up.... o_o!!!! god they really thought they could????? lmao!!!!!!

the tear in this (our gentle language)

“I’m going back to Brazil.”

He isn’t asking for permission. This isn’t a consultation. Hinata Shouyou informs his boyfriend at their after-practice practice. Miya Atsumu has a volleyball in each arm, trying to pick up a third. It drops and rolls away from him. The thud resounding in an empty gymnasium.

Shouyou had tried to envision Atsumu’s reaction many times. He never expected to be met with silence.

Alternatively: an exploration of Hinata Shouyou’s return to Brazil

words: 7,204 | rating: M

ldr CAN be romantic ok!!!!!!!! it takes a lot of communication, time, and love ; ;

evening sun

Atsumu looks at Shouyou and thinks, I want to know every inch of you.

words: 1,502 rating: M

[shirts181]

Random life vent

I remember being really happy as a kid/teenager, everything was awesome, always had friends and family around and did cool stuff, didn’t overthink about anything just lived my life as it came day by day. Not anymore. Before i dive into this, there’s going to be so many things im going to miss or havent remembered thats probably vital or important in relation to what im saying and as im re-reading over it ill realise i havent added something so yeah just a heads up, im a guy in his mid 20′s, majority of this my friends now dont even know about and i couldnt even imagine trying to explain all this shit to somebody i know, i guess thats why im here lol, i want to add and not sure if its related to how i turned out or not but growing up i was always on the shy side, wasn’t super shy but like when i would do shit like do a class presentation by myself id always go red and blush and sometimes get teary, not that i was sad or upset, id just get fucking teary like a dickhead lol, would use my hands when i talked and just overall looked like a nervous wreck. I was comfy around friends and family, could do whatever, didnt really care, if anything i felt like an extrovert around them, but when it came to being in situations i didnt know anybody, i plainly would just say nothing, not make an effort to really engage in conversation, just lay back and wait for that situation to be over til i was with my friends. If somebody approached me id obviously talk to them and whatever but rarely would i be the person initiating anything like that, was a bit of a idiot like that growing up lol. I’ve always been the person who wanted everyone to be happy, i was always oblivious to how other people like my friends had family or whatever issues growing up and the REAL impact it has on them, like divorced parents or they dont know their mum or dad or whatever that stuff, i knew people with depression and anxiety growing up and i was always open to talk to people about it, i LOVED being the friend to speak to if anybody was feeling like shit or wanted to vent, it made me feel really appreciated and id been given this trust to listen to what they have to say, like i might be able to make them feel better about what they had to say regardless of if i could properly help/change their circumstances and problems, but maybe put a smile on their face and make them laugh and let them know it’ll be ok without even being sure if it would, but i never would say that and 100% know it would be ok, but by saying that it might just give them some hope that things CAN be ok and they then believe it can change for the better. From the age of 16 i was super self conscious, i cared what people thought of me, not that im a super ugly guy or had anything dramatically wrong looks wise or how i was, but more so for me maybe like saying something and somebody over hearing it and me being like “oh fuck i should of said that” because it might sound bad or like having pimples (probably same as every teenager ever lol) or a bad hair day (literally) kinda thing. I cared how people portrayed me, i wanted everyone to know i was just average person who just wanted everybody to be happy, i made conscious decisions on what i said to who and where i said it, clothes i would wear depending on where i was going and who might see me, that stuff was like a necessity in my life, i wasn’t like ocd about that stuff because sometimes id be in situations where i know id be judged but still followed through, but something about me just fuckinggggg hated having somebody look at me a certain way and portray me differently to who i really am. I just re-read that and holy shit lol i sound like an idiot the way i’ve said what i’ve said, this is another thing about me maybe saying something and not accurately making it out to sound how i intend it to sound. Whatever rofl, now the real shit. I got diagnosed by a psych with anxiety when i was 18, this was the beginning of my mental downfall from then to this day. About 6-7 months of solid anxiety i could barely leave my house, was scared for no fucking reason, dont even know why, all i remember is my heart beating like crazy and feeling like i was going to pass out or whatever. This would happen mainly in social situations during and before even seeing others/doing things. I would work myself up to the point of crying, getting hives/being itchy everywhere on my body, nervously shaking and visually just looking terrified. I couldn’t drive properly because i’d get panic attacks and id feel like im about to pass out and i cant escape cos im trapped inside a car, traffic was the worst especially when i was alone, there was numerous times that i fucking cried in my car before and after id pull over to relax myself, how stupid is this shit? Why does this happen to people, how does this shit happen to ME, i dont even get why this all is even happening, im not an unhealthy person by any means so im not sick and didnt have symptoms of any illness, wtf is going on. How the fuck do i get over this, ended up seeing a psych because i had no idea wtf was wrong with me, bring in my diagnosis of having anxiety. While i was at home, i would hardcore grind out games on my computer, it made me feel normal and not like absolute shit, dont know why but at the time thats all that made me not feel like absolute shit and scared of being outside in the world. I took pills for this, tried to be active by exercising, playing sport and making an effort and forcing myself out of the house. At the start it was absolute torture, i didn’t ever think i’d get over this, it was that bad. I was on medication, couldn’t tell you what one because i just dont remember and never payed attention to medication names etc. Fast forward 6-7 months, i am actually feeling ok, i apply for jobs, go to job interviews with ease, im actually feeling really good like im making improvements in my life and progressing correctly by taking the next step, something i wouldn’t of thought of doing months earlier. I ended up getting a job and it was like a weight off my shoulders, i was excited, my parents were super happy with me for how far that i had come, i felt good as, potentially like im on track to success in living my life and being able to feel good again. As i got this job i was confident in going out and felt like i could properly just do shit, like i could be me again. This lasted about 15 months, i was ok to drive, i NEVER had a panic attack during this 15 months, i felt good af, when i drove i would even laugh at myself be like “why tf was i panicking? why was i such an idiot and getting worried over shit that cant and wont effect me and make me feel scared? why would i care about those things”, even in like social situations same thing, it was great. It all started to come back, slowly it like bloody crept its way back to being bad, but at this stage i was in denial, i was like na i can get over this i dont need to see anybody, but realistically i probably needed to. To this day i’ve never seen a psych about it, for the last 4-5 years ive almost just adapted to knowing im going to have panic attacks and feel like shit, iv learnt to cope and deal with it myself, the thought of me taking pills for this again scares me, why would i want to take pills to get better again when once i feel good, come off them, id get back into this state of mind and feel anxious again, and then repeat, why the fuck, seriously, why the fuck would i put myself into this potential scenario, i say potential because its a possibility, but thats not a risk im willing to take, people get addicted to this shit, ultimately what im trying to say is i dont want to be that person that gets reliant on taking pills to just having a functioning mind that doesnt make me feel scared and afraid, why cant i just shake this off? is there something im not doing? wtf is the cure to this shit? i know its not the pills because i dont want to become reliant on medications to make me happy. Im pretty convinced im depressed too, iv had serious thoughts about suicide, but i dont think im somebody who could actually commit to it, and if i was, i would probably make the decision to speak to somebody, but im stuck in a mindset where im not going to die from it, but i feel like shit all the time, i dont want meds, i dont know how to fix where im at pretty much, theres things that have happened to me the last couple years which have convinced me im a bad partner in a relationship, not for things i do but for what i unintentionally didnt do, im not a fulfilling boyfriend, ive either never obviously met the right girl for me or im just not fit to be a boyfriend, and thats what i think, how can somebody commit to me but im to stressed and worried about how my commitment to them might not be enough? the constant worry of not being a good boyfriend, when all i really want is for everything to be ok and happy, not that if things arent good or happy that thats a bad thing, i totally understand not everything is perfect and there are shit things that happen to people or in the world thats always going to happen, but i feel like, mainly with my last ex girlfriend, i felt like i was in a competition half the time to compete and get reassurance i was being a good boyfriend because i didnt know anything else, i was locked into this relationship i felt i couldnt escape, i so badly wanted out but was sucked into the mindset that if i left id have nothing and couldnt be with anybody because shes the only one who would be with me cos she already is, how the fuck do i overcome this, how do i get out? Its been a year since she ended up breaking up with me and pretty much for those reasons, i wasn’t up to par with her standards, i wasnt her dream boyfriend, for somebody who accepted my past issues with anxiety and letting her in on all my personal shit, if somebody who i thought cared for me leaves me, how could i ever convince or even get another girl to be with me knowing i have this weight and baggage of being a potential let down and not being able to be the person she needs me to be?  Writing all this i thought id feel better but i kinda still feel like shit. I weighed up deleting this, i had it all highlighted ready to backspace and alt f4 this but fuck it i might regret not posting this, i guess thats why im here anyway. If you read all this sorry for the random bullshit, i re-read it and i sidetracked myself hard from what i was originally going to say but im kinda tired and was literally just typing anything that came to my mind andddd yeeeeaaaahhh.. peace

[scullyy]

C+L

Title: C+L

Pairing: Clementine x Louis

Word Count: 1455

Summary: Clementine tries to explain to AJ what love is and ends up explaining her feelings for Louis.

A/N: I kept thinking to myself ‘what if this happened during the party’ and I couldn’t get it out of my head. I also needed to write some happy to forget about everything I witnessed in Episode 3. I hope you enjoy this simple fluff :)

-

There was something about the music, the way it filled every crevice and crack, that excited AJ. It was his first every party, it seemed like a new realm. The walls no longer appeared to be caked in grime and dried blood but a rather lovely shade of purple that his eyes hadn’t been introduced to. “Jazz” as Clem had called it, made AJ want to twirl around in circles till he fell from the dizziness.

“Why is it called jazz?” He asked Louis, the man seemed to know the most about music.

Louis was tapping his feet along to the tune, he would have preferred classical but Clem was bobbing her head along in time with his feet, so it was worth it. “I believe it’s slang that translates to ‘spirit’ or ‘vigor’ from the 1860s’.”

“It sounds cool, I like it.” AJ smiled as he began to bop his head along with Clem. Team Fun had now somehow become mediocre dance trio. “Hey Clem, can we dance?” He twirled the tip of his toe into the floor, nerves bouncing through him.

Clementine beamed. “Of course goofball.” She gently took AJ by his little hand and swung him into the centre of the room. “Do you want to lead?”

AJ blinked slowly. “Lead?”

“Here, stand on my feet,” AJ did as he was told, his toes poking Clem’s ankles. “I’ll lead us this time. One day I’ll teach you how to dance properly.” She began to sway slowly back and forth, stepping around in tiny circles.

AJ giggled as the room swirled, the other kids becoming a blur. “Why do people dance Clem?’

“Some people find it fun, others do it to show their love for another person.” Her eyes fluttered over to Louis, who was leaning against the side of his piano, his smile bursting with pure light as he watched Clementine.

“Love? There other kinds of love?”

Clementine nodded. “There are many reasons to love someone AJ. For their looks, personality, sometimes their status-”

“-what’s that?”

“It’s like how popular you are. Sometimes people only love others for how well known they are, which isn’t fair.”

AJ soaked in the knowledge. “So there are wrong reasons to love someone?”

She lifted up his body and spun him around in the air. “Yeah, there are. Promise me that if you ever fall in love it’ll be for the right reasons.”

The idea of being in love never crossed AJ’s mind. He loved Clem, wasn’t that enough? “But how will I know?”

Clementine gazed into his large eyes, they twinkled like the lights around them. “Because you’ll want to do everything you can for that person. You’ll want to see them happy, even in a world like this.”

AJ smirked, happy in the fact that his love for Clem was right. Seeing her happy, after everything they had been through together, was enough for AJ to be happy also.

Her toes began to pinch beneath his weight, he was heavier than she originally thought. “Hey AJ, can we stop for a bit?”

“Okay,” He huffed, hopping back onto the solid ground. AJ caught Louis smiling at Clementine, he appeared to be caught in some kind of dream. AJ shifted his focus onto the grand piano, maybe Louis could play a song for everyone? His eyes travelled along the keys until he noticed a peculiar shape. “Clem, what’s that on the piano?”

She turned to where his finger was pointing, her blood going cold as her eyes focused on the carving. Her special carving from a special night. “Oh, it’s...uh…”

“What’s C+L?”

Clementine frantically waved her hand at Louis, snapping him out of his fantasy world. She directed her head towards the piano, trying to articulate what she was trying to point out. He understood alright, biting his lip softly.

“C+L?” Now it was Ruby’s turn to be curious, she set down the mystery crate and crept up alongside Clementine. “What does that mean?”

Louis tried to stifle his laughter. “Do you want to tell them or shall I grace them with the news?”

Goddamn him and his nonchalant nature.

By now all the other kids had gathered around the piano. “Tell us what?” AJ asked, his eyes darting back and forth between Clem and Louis, his patience was wearing thin.

Clementine wanted to sink into her hat and hide. This was not how she wanted to tell the others, especially AJ. “Louis and I...you could say that we’re a thing now.” She flinched when Ruby squealed in her ear.

“When did this happen?!”

“That’s crazy!”

“This is amazing.”

She looked across at Louis, who was nodding along to what their friends had to say. It was crazy and utterly amazing. “I’d say it’s more than ‘a thing’. It happened the night the raiders came, this charmer admitted her burning feelings for me.” Louis placed a hand over his heart and squeezed his shirt lightly.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” She rebuffed his lies. “You’re the one who named a song after me.”

The hopeless romantic in Ruby was absolutely bounding around inside her heart. “Y’all are adorable!”

“I can’t believe Louis got a girlfriend!” Willy shouted. He and Mitch would joke for hours on how Louis would be the last of the group to find a girl, let alone one who would be remotely interested in him.

Clementine raised an eyebrow at her small friend. “Girlfriend?”

“You bet your ass, Willy.” Louis hollered, the death stare from Clem was worth it.

AJ tried to figure it out. He loved Clem, so did Louis love her in the same way? Did he love her for her personality? Was she considered pretty to him? “Do you love Clem?”

Louis almost choked on nothing, coughing up his buried embarrassment. “I know that I like her, a lot. Who knows what the future holds little dude.”

Clementine held her own hand and gave it a tight squeeze as the room filled with a choir of “Oooooh”.

AJ was still confused. Maybe this was a type of love that Clem hadn’t explained yet. “So you two like each other, like Violet and Minnie did?”

A hush fell over the room as the kids eyed down Clementine and Louis. “Yeah AJ. Violet and Minnie were dating, just like Clem and I are.”

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Ruby pat Clem on the back. “Somehow you two managed to find romance in the middle of all this. That’s darn impressive.”

Clementine felt a wave of peace come over her, no one was turning it into as big of a deal as she thought. “You guys are taking this better than I thought.”

“Well, we had a feeling,” Tenn mumbled. “You guys act the same way Minnie and Violet did when they were first dating.”

“God, we’re not that obvious,” The unconvinced glances didn’t cure the sinking feeling in her stomach. “Right?” Clementine never expected to have her feelings exposed like this, by a child nonetheless.

Louis ran a hand through his hair. “If you didn’t want to be obvious, why did you carve our initials in a heart on my piano?” Now it was his turn to tease his sweet Clem. She was so cute when in a flustered state.

There was so explanation, her words spluttered out of her mouth. Clementine couldn’t lie to herself, Louis and his devilish charms were part of the reason as to why she likes him, why she wants the world to know that they belong together. There was also his kind heart, unique sense of humour...out of this world good looks...wait what point was she trying to make again?

“Alright let’s leave these two alone now,” Ruby turned back to the box set upon the ground and sat beside it. “I found them. Okay Clementine, these here are our official Ericson’s psych evaluations and probationary reports.”

Clementine stood over her, eyeing the box. “Okay.”

“I don’t get it.” Said AJ with a cross look on his face. What was the big deal about a box full of papers?

“Well, these explain why all of us got sent to this school in the first place.” Despite the information that some of the records held, Ruby was keen to go down memory lane.

Louis nabbed himself a spot on the floor. “And how we got stuck here for as long as we did.”

“So, what’s the game?” Clementine humoured Ruby and sat beside Louis.

“I figured if we’re all going on this crazy mission together, you might as well know who we really are. Especially now that Louis is your boyfriend.” Ruby winked at the lovebirds.

Louis gazed at Clem, appreciating how the purple light fell upon her face. “Boyfriend and girlfriend, I like the sound of that.”

[tianshanz]

What's your favorite anime? And why?

heyo!! thanks for the ask because holy damn, and this specific question is a good one for me because i could go on and on about this anime

my favorite anime of all time, and one of my favorite mangas, is durarara!! for many many reasons, but let me go over a few of them.

POST CONTAINS SPOILERS

first of all, lets go back to when i was 11 or 12 years old and id just heard of durarara from a friend of mine. thought it would be boring, and honestly, in the beginning i did. i thought that the first few episodes were slow, so i put it down for a while. but when i returned i realized WHY the first few episodes are slow. because once you get past them, the story progresses like a gunshot and everything goes crazy. which i absolutely loved.

i watched the dub, which to this day i stand by, loving the durarara dub. and johnny yong bosch’s voice for izaya is one of my biggest inspirations for wanting to become a voice actress.

so lets get into the full reasons why i love this anime so much. we have to start on the animation, the art style. of course i was way into the manga art style, and went absolutely fuckin nuts when i saw the second series was going to have an art style more similar to the manga. the characters are drawn in a way that makes them unique, especially in the manga the facial expressions were so vivid and, in izayas case, absolutely terrifying.

so that brings me to my favorite part of the series. the characters. in anime you tend to get the cliche characters-- the protag, the tsundere, the loli, things like that, but durarara was never like that for me.

it was the first time i ever saw a creature like celty in an anime, id never seen a dullahan or even heard of one, so props to narita for including that. there was never a character made to specifically fit into a cliche. even walker and erika, who on the surface seem like typical otakus, are nothing at all just “typical otakus”

and oh god, the dynamic between shizuo and izaya. lemme tell ya. this isnt a shizaya stan post but man am i a slut for some shizaya. but canon shizuo and izaya discourse was so interesting. the dynamic between them was nothing like a typical enemies or rivals situation id seen. these two genuinely wanted to see the other suffer, and why was this?

because izaya was a sadist and shizuo had a bad feeling about him.

of course there was stuff after that, fueling the rage and hatred between them, but there was such a genuine desire to kill each other and it was so cool to see (plus their fight scenes were glorious).

mikado was one of the most interesting characters in the series to me, aside from izaya. he starts out as an innocent guy who fears everything but we learn that not only is he the leader and founder of the dollars, but he has a side of him that is willing to hurt and kill and destroy for his own gain.

izaya orihara is almost the opposite in this sense. in volume 13 of the light novels, shinra says this about izaya.  

"He may seem cold-blooded, but he is more human, and his heart more brittle than anybody else, so much so that if you filled it with human love or betrayal, it would break easily, which is why, I think, he chose from the start to avoid it all, to love humanity, you understand? Not to accept, not to face it, to avoid it." 

as opposed to mikados idea to act innocent to hide a darker side of himself, izaya opts to darken his personality and exterior to hide his inner turmoil. and thats what makes every one of his decisions so much more interesting. if only to protect his own heart, he pushes everyone away with his manipulations and his schemes. also, with my own interest in psychology and human observation, i relate to him a little bit.

lastly, i wanted to take a part of this to talk about how this series had a huge focus on companionship, love, and obsession. 

when it comes to companionship, there was a huge focus on the friendship between anri, mikado, and masaomi. the three of them were close from the beginning, but all the drama and violence brought them even closer than they ever could be without it. mikado was so distraught over the way he hurt others he was scared to hurt his real friends, leading him to attempt suicide. 

and despite his own injuries, masaomi ignored his own pain to try and talk mikado out of it. in his own, special way (in the dub he called mikado a pussy lol). but they all got out okay, thankfully, and in the end there was a focus on them being together, safe and sound, away from the chaos and hatred.

when it comes to love, there was a huge focus on shinra and celty. i think ive never seen a couple as wholesome as those two (as pervy as shinra is). shinra casted away all humans, finding them uninteresting. makes sense his first and only love would be a supernatural creature.

the two had such a genuine love, shinra would do anything for celty, even going to the extent to destroy her head in the end so she would stay in ikebukuro with him. as strange as it sounds, he knew she would need that push to stay where she truly wanted to be. and celty would do anything for shinra, the reason she was leaving ikebukuro was to protect him.

and obsession, oh boy was there a lot of themes of obsession. aside from the obvious choice of talking about haruna niekawa, lets go for something less but still obvious. shizuo and izayas rivalry.

yall cant tell me there wasnt a degree of obsession in their relationship. shizuo and izaya were absolutely obsessed with each other, but as much as crazy shizaya stans will wanna convince you, this was not a romantic obsession. not even a sexual obsession, the two were just genuinely obsessed with hurting each other. for the adrenaline, for revenge, for fun, whatever part it was, there was a heavy blanket of obsession between the two of them.

i mean seriously, these two were so obsessed with killing each other that they were essentially killing themselves. its amazing to see that much dedication, and it was all because they hated each other. no normal person would go to such an extent for someone they were not desperately obsessed with. obviously, obsession doesnt always have to do with sex or love, let izaya and shizuo be your examples on that bit of info.

this post was a mess, and it was all over the place, but i tried my best to convey my thoughts and feelings for this show into words. its hard for me, because this show means so much to me, and a lot of it i cant really explain, its a deep rooted love that i dont think ill ever let go of. this has been my favorite anime for 6 years, and most likely will continue to be my favorite anime throughout the years to come.

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Fifty-One: Good Medicine ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Healing Waters and Scorching Flames ] [ AO3 Link ]

She hasn’t had much opportunity to learn the healing side of waterbending. Though...then again, waterbending as a whole hasn’t exactly been a subject Hinata was steeped in. With the Fire Nation raids capturing and locking way the Southern waterbenders, Hinata had only her mother to teach her...and even then, not for long.

She’d not been one of the many taken prisoner. Hanako had simply been slain where she stood.

As the last left with any hint of bending in her veins, Hinata grew up without a teacher, only able to guess and feel her way through bending. Failures in her experiments meant a lack of confidence, and a yearning to someday make it to the North to find a master to learn from.

Of course, that had been before stumbling across the Avatar alongside her best friend Kiba. That single encounter changed not only her life, but the world.

Suddenly she had a way to leave the South Pole: a method of transport to the North, where she and the Avatar - Naruto - would learn under the remaining masters of waterbending.

Before they could leave, however...trouble found them. Namely the second-in-line prince Sasuke of the Fire Nation.

Their first meeting had her feeling fearful...but also realizing she couldn’t afford to be afraid. This was the Avatar...the world’s last chance for peace. If Hinata wanted to make it to the North - if she wanted Naruto to save the world - she had to put aside her reservations, and do as her mother did: stand up to the Fire Nation.

Needless to say, that first encounter - and the next several over the coming weeks - meant a great feeling of animosity between them: Hinata, and Sasuke. They both sought the same person, but for entirely different reasons.

But as time passed, and their circumstances changed...they could no longer afford to be enemies. Naruto needed to learn firebending. Sasuke had begun to see the error of his ways, thanks to careful guidance from his cousin Shisui: a secret member of the White Lotus.

So, the two groups were suddenly awkwardly pushed together as Sasuke accepted his role as Naruto’s firebending teacher.

But Hinata wasn’t having it.

After all he’d done - to them, to Naruto, to her - she couldn’t trust him. Wouldn’t! No longer was Hinata the meek, scared girl from the South Pole. By then, she’d grown into a young woman of resolve and dedication.

Of them all, it would be Hinata he’d have to convince the most.

It hadn’t been easy...but from a begrudging acceptance of their circumstances, situations arose to drive them together. Bit by bit, acceptance grew...which slowly formed into trust.

Which is why now, with Sasuke injured, Hinata tries to put her limited healing knowledge to the test.

“Just...hold still. I need to concentrate.”

Not arguing, Sasuke sits in a tense, accepting silence. Mild burns litter his left forearm, used to block an attack but partially letting it go astray. The red, puckered skin stings, but doesn’t seem too severe.

Taking clean water from a canteen, Hinata examines the wounds carefully before bringing the element up to the singed tissue. For a moment, it almost seems to burn all over again. But then the liquid glows softly, and relief instantly wilts Sasuke’s shoulders.

“...I’ve never seen waterbending healing before.”

“I’m...very loosely practiced in it. I had some lessons in the North, but...not as much as combat. I’ll do what I can, but...they might scar, and take a w-while to heal.”

“It’s fine...better than I could do.”

That earns him a brief glance before returning to her work.

“...when this is all over, I know a healer you can learn from. If you want.”

“...you do?”

“I…” Shame weighs in the base of Sasuke’s gut. “...when I, er...went to get Naruto, it wasn’t my first trip to the south. A few months before that, I’d gone to another tribe that used to be known for healing, and...took the last bender there. She’s the one serving my brother. Keeping him alive.”

Recognition alights Hinata’s face. “...I see.”

“I’ll be honest, I wasn’t...kind to her. At the time, I was still…” His tone fades to silence, not sure how to explain. “...I was so conflicted then. My brother means everything to me. I was desperate. So...I told her I was holding her village hostage. If anything happened to Itachi, I would…” Another pause, not needing to explain. “...and yet...part of me - a stupid, selfish part of me - had hoped we wouldn’t find one. A healer.”

“...but…?”

Grief and anger darken Sasuke’s face. “...the older I got...the more I realized that, if Itachi were to die...it would make me the next Fire Lord. And now, I...I can’t stand myself for ever having thought that way. But my father, his teachings...they jaded me. It’s like he wanted to pit us against each other. He knew Itachi was weak. Maybe...that’s what he wanted. But I insisted to try the South. To look for a healer.”

For a time, quiet settles over them. “...then...that’s what matters in the end. You overcame those feelings, and you got him help.”

“But I did so in a terrible way!”

“I’m not saying you’re not at fault in that regard. But...you helped your brother, when you could have...well, left him to a worse fate. Maybe someday you can atone to how you treated the other waterbender. And...I would be happy to learn from her.” Hinata glances up, managing a small smile.

“...you’ve come a long way, Sasuke. In my eyes, at least. I’ll admit...I was so wary of you at first. And...I had reason to be. But I also see how you’ve changed. I might have had my doubts, but you proved yourself. I’m sure you can do so with her when the time comes. For now, we each have our own paths. She’ll help your brother, and you’ll help the Avatar.”

Sasuke looks to her with a somber expression before glancing to his wounds. “...and you’ll help me.”

“...we’ll all help each other. Together, we’ll stop your father. The Fire Nation can then be led back into the ways of peace. The w-war will be over. And we can all...go home. Heal. And the world can regain its sense of balance.”

“The work won’t stop with the war,” Sasuke reminds her dryly. “There will be plenty left to do.”

“I know...but we’ll face it together. All of us. Naruto has changed too, you know. He’s not just a wistful child. Now...he’s matured. At least,” she laughs, “somewhat. Part of him, I think, will always be a kid. But we work together well as a team - and we’ll keep doing so after the war, until the world has a better foundation. It’s been stuck in this war for almost a hundred years! There will be a lot to get used to.”

“Hn…”

Another round of silence, and then Hinata checks her work. Scars glisten pink along Sasuke’s arms, but a flex and a prod prove them to be healed. “Well...it’s not p-pretty, but…”

“It’s great. Thanks, Hinata.” The prince affords her a rare smile that she returns.

A kind of tension seems to bloom...before they both glance away.

“I...I-I should see if Naruto has any wounds,” she offers, moving to stand.

“Yeah, I’ll...start working on a fire for the camp.” He watches her go, unable to help a feeling of...frustration. Like he’s missed something. Looking to his arm, fingers gently sweep over the new scar tissue. He’s sure they won’t be the last.

...and maybe he won’t mind a little healing every now and again.

     Well, not as late as last night - woo? lol      More AtLA! I've been really feeling this fandom lately, and it worked well for this prompt, too! I love incorporating some healing with Hinata, given her canon dabbling into it, what with her poultices she's been seen to make! So while she might not be a master, she can at least help Sasuke's wounds a bit.      And he doesn't mind getting a little up close and personal, it seems ;3      Anywho, that's it for today! I'm excited to have crossed the 50 day mark - and soon we'll be at two months! Kinda crazy, honestly...time's really flying. But, either way, thanks for reading!

[pengiesama]

The Real Library of Alexandria Was the Friends We Made Along the Way (Fic, TOZ/TOB, school AU)

Title: The Real Library of Alexandria Was the Friends We Made Along the Way Series: Tales of Zestiria / Tales of Berseria Pairing: Gen Characters: Laphicet, Mikleo, Sorey, Velvet

Summary: Phi crusades against two Bigger Kids making noise in the library. He winds up discovering some common ground, and becomes leader of the nerdiest gang this side of the hemisphere.

Link: AO3

This was written for After School Heroes ( @ashtaleszine ); a Tales Of zine focusing on school AUs!

The zine's purchase period is now over, but you can check out some of the other fic and art from the zine in the links below.

ASH's Tumblr: http://ashtaleszine.tumblr.com/ ASH's Twitter: https://twitter.com/ashtaleszine/

Read on Tumblr!

“…I’m not saying that you’re wrong. I’m just saying that you’re vastly misinformed.”

“So, really, you’re saying I’m wrong.”

“No, I’m saying that you’re misinformed, and that your flair for the dramatic has led you to an incorrect interpretation of our sources…”

Phi did not mind listening to debates on topics that interested him. And this one did -- he’d always liked Ancient History and was happy to hear someone discussing it with such knowledge and passion. His own class at school was currently covering the period, but...well. When all they were expected to do was to be able to name city-states and list off a handful of gods, trying to engage his classmates in discussions was an exercise in futility. Even his teacher wasn’t much better. Such was the struggle of being ten years old and maybe a bit too well-read.

No, no, the topic wasn’t the issue, nor was the debate. There was just a time and place for this kind of thing, and the public library after school fit neither of those items. There also was a need for one’s indoor voice. Phi peeped over the top of his book, scowling. His baleful stare, full of judgement and righteous fury, went entirely unnoticed. This wasn’t really that surprising, as Phi was halfway across the reading room and half-buried under a pile of heavy books at his table. He thought of clearing his throat in an accusatory tone, but the idea of making a peep in the library was anathema to the very core of his being. Sure, this section of the library was deserted except for Phi and the debaters, but...but it was the principle of the thing, and that principle was what set man apart from beast.

The two intrepid historians were wearing uniforms from a high school across town. Their status as Bigger Kids gave Phi some pause in confronting them. But with the library’s honor to defend, could he ever forgive himself if he let cowardice win? Phi thought briefly about how his babysitter Velvet might handle the issue, then paled, and stopped thinking about it, because it was kind of scary.

“—Sorey, your arguments show a level of understanding that I’d expect from someone whose historical knowledge came from half-remembered edutainment cartoons from ten years ago, not from someone who I thought knew better,” said the white-haired boy wearily.

“Look, Mikleo, I know that attributing the destruction of the Library of Alexandria to a single catastrophic event ignores other things that led to its decline—”

“And leads to more public disinformation about a section of history that’s already rife with it.”

“—but,” said the brown-haired boy (the other boy, Mikleo, had called him Sorey), pressing on. “Even if there were other events which led to its eventual decline, dissolution, destruction, etcetera, what I’m saying is that the most important and impactful of these incidents was it being set ablaze in the Siege. Aurelian’s attack on the city and the destruction of the Serapeum are drops in the bucket in comparison, when the bulk of the collection was already lost at that point!”

“But they were still important events in its final decline, no matter what your little fanfic daydreams of travelling back in time with a magic firetruck to play hero! And all this assumes that the Library even was damaged in the Siege, considering that accounts of the time are contradictory.”

“Ancient accounts from any ancient historian worth their salt all agree that the library was damaged by Caesar’s short-sighted shenanigans! And it’s not a magic firetruck. It’s—”

“Yes, yes, it’s powered by advanced technology made possible by a time loop that hinges on the hero saving the Library from being burned. You act as though I don’t pay attention when I edit your work. But if you really want to be taken seriously, you have to address the other aspects of its decline that can’t be solved by a firetruck falling from the sky.”

Sorey squinted at the ceiling in thought. “...the firetruck could fall from the sky onto Aurelian.”

“Then you’re getting into further divergent history when a Roman Emperor gets killed like a wicked witch from the Land of Oz. And there’s still the Serapeum to consider.”

“The firetruck could fall on Theophilus too.”

Mikleo appeared to be dumbstruck by this statement for a brief moment, then nearly flipped the table in rage.

“You can’t solve every tragic historical event by dropping firetrucks on it!” he all but shrieked.

“It’s called poetic irony!” Sorey shouted back. “And it’s art!”

Phi agreed with both boys on their more intellectual points, and neither of them on their thoughts about art and literature. More importantly, he also agreed with them on the importance of preserving cultural institutions, which meant that he was duty-bound to intervene in this fight before they destroyed this library too. Luckily, he knew the Dewey Decimal System like the back of his hand, and quickly collected a volume of text that might be able to smother the flames of this debate before they spiraled out of control.

Phi marched over to the older boys’ table, and – taking a page out of Velvet’s book on confrontations – slammed the volume down as hard as he could onto the wooden surface. But, as he was still a polite boy, he was sure to scream “excuse me” while he did so.

The two older boys stared at him, wide-eyed and silent, as the bang and scream reverbed off the library’s walls. Taking the opportunity for their undivided attention, Phi opened the book he’d brought over to the appropriate page and tapped a heading.

“Ptolemy VIII’s mass purges of Alexandrian intellectuals who opposed his seizure of the Egyptian throne, and the accompanying political turmoil in the Ptolemaic dynasty at the time, weakened the Library considerably,” Phi began, confidently. “This sent the Library into decline, well before Caesar’s invasion over a century later.”

The shock and confusion melted away from Sorey’s face. He reflected quietly on Phi’s thesis and gave an embarrassed little smile.

“...I guess I really did kind of get hung up on the dramatic events, huh?” he said sheepishly. “Man, with all the craziness going on during that period, it’s kind of a surprise the Library didn’t get set on fire sooner…”

“I don’t think there are enough time-travelling firetrucks in the world to drop on all the troublemakers back then,” Mikleo agreed. “But I’m guilty too, of only looking post-Siege, and at the Roman side of things.”

“And you’re both guilty of yelling in the library,” Phi added. “I could hear you all the way over there.

He pointed accusingly towards his table, which was still piled high with books. The two boys looked abashed.

“I’m so sorry,” Mikleo said. “We...we didn’t see you over there.”

Admittedly, from this table, it was quite hard to see where he’d been sitting, buried behind the books. Sorey, for his part, was already on his way over to Phi’s table. He looked over some of the volumes, interest clear on his face.

“Wow...no wonder you schooled us on this. I’ve been meaning to read some of these!”

“Well, don’t start with that one,” Phi said, gesturing to the volume in Sorey’s hand. “You’re not going to understand it without some background knowledge...”

When the time came for Phi to leave, he had lectured both boys quite thoroughly on history – and what’s more, he had quite completely forgiven them for their sins. Despite their...eccentricities, Sorey and Mikleo were very knowledgeable on ancient topics from around the world, and treated Phi as their equal -- not just some novelty to be humored and “corrected” on topics he knew like the back of his hand. They promised to be here again tomorrow, to talk more, and...and Sorey had talked about making an Ancient History Club, for the three of them, and that would just be too cool…

“It sounds like you had fun,” Velvet observed, after Phi had breathlessly explained to her all the above. “Give me your hand until we’re done crossing the street.”

Idly, Velvet wondered whether she should go through the trouble of inspecting these two new friends of Phi’s – and by “inspecting”, she meant putting the fear of god into them, and by the fear of god, she meant the fear of her.

Phi dutifully grabbed Velvet’s good hand and continued. “We’ll have official meetings once a week and unofficial get-togethers on the other days of the week, except Tuesdays, when Sorey has Track club and Mikleo goes to Home Ec club, but that day I think I can go to the library anyway and just plan our activities for the rest of the week…”

…but, honestly, they seemed like they were a perfect fit for Phi already. Velvet walked with him, hand in hand, and decided to hold off. At least for now.

[sometimes-i-write-4-you]

Siren valentine's (pt. 1)- Dean Winchester x reader

I was hoping to finish before valentine's, but i have my senior production (i'm majoring in theater) so i never got the chance. Here's part 1, i'll post the rest when i'll finish this fic.

Sitting alone at a coffee shop was one of the things you hated the most, especially on valentine's Day. Everyone were in couples, and you were sitting with your computer and headphones on, pretending to work. The couples around you made you uncomfortable with all their kissing and touching, so you focused on the sound of your favorite album. You heard a feminine voice wishing a happy valentine’s day, and turned up the volume. As the last song came to an end, you packed your things and left the coffee shop.

You arrived to the office you worked at. Being a secretary was not your dream job, but this company paid well and it was safe, safer then being an actor like you always wanted.

“... Ben’s Coffee shop is now a crime scene” the reporter said, and the name of the coffee shop you went to this morning caught your attention. “What the fuck?” You muttered to yourself, focusing on the tv. “The place is filled with bodies, all are bleeding from their ears. Another interesting fact about the bodies, all create a heart shape once you look at them from above” the reporter continued. You were completely shocked to see that, as you were there half an hour ago and everything was fine. You texted your roommate you're fine, since you knew she'd be worried sick if she saw this.

For the rest of the day you felt weird, you were so confused about what happened in Ben's Coffee Shop. Ben was such a nice guy, he didn't deserve to die, there is no sense to this situation - why would anyone kill the people there? Sure, they were annoyingly cléshe, but that's not a reason to commit mass murder.

-time skip-

You got home, finally. You started to cook some pasta. You blasted some music you liked. Your roommate worked late, so you had the entire flat to yourself. She hated “Kansas”, so you took advantage of the fact she wasn't there to listen to your favorite album, “Leftovers”".

“Carry on my wayward son, for there'll be peace when you are gone” you sang along. You emptied the pot through a strainer “Don't you cry no mooooore” you returned to singing. The knocks on the door were right on the beats, so you almost didn't notice them. Once you realized the knockings were not a part of the song, you ran to the door and looked through the mesh. Two guys in suites were standing there, looking seriously at the mesh, therefore at your eye. You opened the door, and they looked at you. “Hello, miss (l/n), I am agent Mike Brown, and this is my partner Nick Williams” one of them said, both pulling an FBI id card. He had apple-green eyes, dark blond-ish hair and some facial hair. He was handsome, definitely. The other guy was just as pretty, but in a different way. His hair was longer, and in a brown shade that went well with his blue eyes. You smiled at them. “Uh, hi. How can i help you?” you asked. “First of all, can wear come inside?” Nick asked. You nodded and moved, letting them in. They both sat on the couch. “Never thought i'd ask someone to turn off “Kansas”, but we have a couple of questions regarding this morning, so can you..” he asked, motioning pressing on a remote. “Oh, yes, sure” you said, and grabbed the remote from the desk. “Water?” You asked as you turned off the music. You felt your heart breaking over the missed opportunity. “Yes, thank you, miss (l/n)” Nick smiled. “How 'bout you, agent…” you paused, trying to remember, “Brown, right?”. He nodded, “yes on the name and the water”.

You took your ball of pasta and sat down. “So, why are you here, agents?” You asked. They both sigh. “This morning, you were at Ben's Coffee Shop, right?” The one you thought was Mike said, although his real name is dean. You nodded. “Well, miss-” “please, call me (y/n)” you cut him off. He looked over at his partner, Nick, or at least so you thought. He was actually looking at his brother, sam. “Ok then, (y/n). Everyone who were there are now dead, but you seem pretty alive to me. Care to explain?” He asked. His words caught you in the middle of taking a bite. You looked at him surprised, “are you saying i did it?!” You said, putting down the pasta bowl. “Well, you are alive and they're not, and i hate to say that, cause you have a great taste in music, but-” Mike replied, but Nick cut him off. “What my partner is trying to say, is that we want to know what happened when you were there. Can you please tell us?”. As he talked, Mike sipped his water to calm down. “Well, i was there, drinking my coffee and listening to music. It was full of those lovey-dovey couple, which was insanely annoying. Not kill-them annoying, just like- nevermind, anyway, i finished listening to my favourite album and then left. A normal visit to a coffee place on a valentine’s day” you said. Mike looked at you and sighed, “nothing else?” He asked, “anything, even if it seems irrelevant”. “Well, there was this lady, i think. She wished everyone a happy valentine's. Once she got on the stage, i raised the volume to max, so i don't know what happened next, it happened like… fifteen minutes before i left, i think” you said. Mike gave Nick a certain type of a look that made you feel like it was important. “Well, (y/n), thank you for your help. If you remember anything else, like what she looked like or anything…” Mike said, “give us a call”. He pulled a card from his pocket. “Okay” you said slowly, taking the card from him. Nick finished his cup of water as Mike spoke, and the handsome agents left your place. You closed the door behind them and as you were pressed play, letting the music distract you from the awful situation, but the suspicious look Mike gave his partner bothered you too much, so you did what anyone would do, and left your house. You catched up to them quickly enough, and got to hear their conversation.

“so, dean, do you think what i'm thinking?” Nick asked. Wait, Dean? His name was mike, he said so, and the card says so, right? You looked at the card. Henry? Who's Henry?

“That this girl was really hot?” the guy who apparently named Dean said. “Be serious, Dean” Nick said, although now you weren't so sure about whether it is his real name or not. “I am very serious, Sammy” Dean said. Oh, of course. They lied about their names. If they lied about that, what else did they lie about? God, what did you let inside your house. “Dean!” Sam insisted, and Dean sighed. “Yes, Sam. If you think it's a siren situation” Dean replied. “It makes sense, yes. I mean, this (y/n) girl is fone, cause she didn't hear the singing. It takes a siren about 15 minutes to infect people using only her voice, she left right on time. Everyone we're dying right behind here” Sam said. “what the fack?”. The words came out of your mouth louder than you expected. “Dean…” Sam muttered, and his head was pointing at you. A part of you wanted to hide, but the other part of you wanted answers. As you debated what to do next, the deep voice you thought belonged to a Mike Brown said “god dammit, (y/n)”.

Well, answers it is. “Heyyy” you said awkwardly, smiling at them and approaching, “so. Sam, Dean, care to explain what thE FUCK?” You said, your voice getting louder as you go. “Well, i see you heard our names. Great. Sam?” Dean said, looking at his partner. “Uh, yeah. We are Sam and Dean and we are..” Sam started, but you cut him off. “Not real FBI agents? Unless FBI stands for…. I don't know, fake-” you started. “we are not FBI” Dean said. “Jesus Christ, what have i let into my house? Regina is going to kill me-” “then don't tell her” Dean cut you off once again. “well, if you're not FBI, then who the fuck are you?” You ask. “We're hunters. We hunt. Monsters” Sam says. The look Dean gave him was a sort of death glare you've never seen before. “What?” You replied, staring at them with your eyes wide open. “Ya'know. Vampires, werewolves, ghosts, demons. That type of crap” Dean said. You felt so weird. What they said was crazy. Impossible. But they looked so calm, and there was no sign of them lying - no nose itches, no looking left. But on the other hand, they didn't look like they're lying to you a second ago, but that turned out to be lies. You looked straight into Dean's eyes. “Okay. I'm going to ask once again. Who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing here?” The words came out of your mouth so smoothly, and the fear was barely heard through. He looked right into your eyes. “We are Sam and Dean Winchester, Brothers and hunters. We are here because of the freaky death this morning” he said. Sam looked back and forth at you and Dean. The eye contact was intense. You were mad, he was upset. “Fine” you sigh, “i believe you. You two may be good liers, but there is no reason you'd make this crazy shit up. So how can i help?”. Dean and Sam both look at you like your crazy. “You want to help us? Not run back to your place and drink every alcoholic beverage you can find?” Dean apoke first. You nodded, “i mean, if i'll say i'm not going to drink over this, it's a lie. But innocent people are dying, and my life as a secretary are too boring for me. If i have a shot at an adventure, i'm definitely taking it” you replied. “Well…” Sam started, and looked at Dean, “maybe there's something you can do”.

“Sam, are you crazy? She is not a hunter! She cant-” Dean started, but Sam cuts him off. “she’s gonna be with you, Dean” he sighed. “We can't put her life on the line like that, Sammy” Dean insisted, and this time it was your turn to say something. “Dean, i don't care. It's a good plan, and i trust you. I'll have ear plugs so i won't hear the siren and-” you started, but stopped once Dean gave you a strange look. “Fine” he said, “but we gotta train you a little bit first”. Before you had a chance to reply, he grabbed your wrist, and as an instinct you pulled your arm up, facing your palm like a mirror and with the free hand you twisted his wrist and kicked his crotch. You only realised you did that when a scream escaped Dean's mouth. “Oh my god, sorry. I'm so, so sorry. It's an instinct” you said, giving him a small smile, “i'll get you some ice, and-” you said, going to the kitchen. “-and you can, uh, put it where i hit you” you said awkwardly, giving him the bag of ice you had on your fridge. “You mean my fucking-” he started, but Sam cuts him off. “Well you don't seem to need self defence training. How are with guns?” He asked. You started at him. “Guns?”. “Yes, you know, we need to fight freaking monsters. You can't just kick their-” “Dean! A girl beat you, get over that and let's continue” Sam cuts him off once again. “Well, my dad always wanted me to go hunt with him. Not the same things you hunt, but i can use a gun. Kind of. I was never good at it. I aimed for the center, hit the right corner, aimed for the right corner hit the center” you shared, and Dean looked at you, still mad. “Well then, aim for the right corer, darling” he smiled. You rolled your eyes. “What? We've been dating for a few months and we are going to celebrate tonight”. “(Y/n), you never told me you have a boyfriend” your roommate said as she walked into the room.“It's cause i don't” you replied as she hugged you. “Then who are these two pretty boys?” She asked. “Belle, these are…” you paused. You weren't sure what are you supposed to tell her. “FBI, i'm agent Brown, he is agent Williams. Your friend here was just giving us the details of today's morning at the coffee shop known as Ben’s Coffee Shop” Dean said. “Then what is it about the two of you dating. And why do you have a bag of ice on your-” Belle wondered out loud. “It's a long story, Belle” you cut her off. “Well then, i leave you here and take some food to my room” she said. Once she closed the door behind her, you felt terrible. “I can't believe i'm hiding something from her. We've been best friends for years, i never hide things from her” you said quietly. “It’s for the best, love” Dean said with a cocky smile. “We are not on our fake date yet, Love” you returned, smiling. “Guys, keep the flirting for later, okay?” sam said. “I'm not-” you started, but Sam ignored you and kept talking. “So let's just go over the plan one more time. You two are going on a date where she'll perform. We just need to find out where is it and when” Sam summarized the plan. “And how are we gonna do that?” You asked. Sam sat next to your open computer and googled “Ben's coffee Shop”. He opened the facebook page and there it was. “This valentine's Day, Sierra Stone is coming to perform at 9:00-9:30 for every one who needs to go to work and can't have a nice dinner with their significant other” Sam read out loud the post, and then proceeded to google her name. “Tonight at Tony's. It's a bar not too far from here. (Y/n), you better get ready cause it's 30 minitus away and starts at 22:00 Sam said. “so will Dean pick me up at 21:15? We should take some time to set up or maybe like, there will be traffic and-” “yes” Dean cuts you off, “you have an hour, use it”. You nodded, “don't worry”.

[gracedandelioninkmind]

Since it's pride month

For most of my time at school betweeb last september and febrary I had a crush on this girl. And you see Id been working through how feelings and sexuality work for me ever since the end of high school, because id been realizing that id never been actively interested in kissing or anything intimate with anyone. Id had plenty of what I call Sparks of Interests, where I just enjoyed looking at someone, talking to them, but more and in a different way than normally for friends. But all of those Interests were towards guys. I loved talling to my friends about guys and hypotheticals about them. I always envisioned myself in a man and woman couple and I loved that opposites pairing in every romance. But I wouldnt say that the ppssibility that I could be interested in girls hadnt crossed my mind. It didnt when I was little, and it didnt in middle school when I told girls that I didnt like boys, because they were stupid, and someoen asked if I was a lesbian. But in high school there was this awesome chick that transferred into our school. I woulsnt say I was overtly attracted to her, I certainly never had any fantasies about her, but I just thought she was so cool and I definitely wanted her to like me and to be friends eith her. Her twin brother was cool too. Oh oh and dont let me forget that one year I was apart of the schools journalism program and some of us were sitting around the classroom and I suddenly giggled at something I was reading, and this one nice tomboy girl was like omygod was that you that was the most adorable sound. I was so flustered, i will never forget that compliment.

But still i was straight. I fantasized about m/f relationships, not necessarily involving me because I cant often envision myself eith just anyone. I just think that romance is fascinating and enthralling and sometimes lots of things can be interesting.

And then I was reading a fanfic, and the girl was asexual, and Id been thinking about asexuality as an explanation for why I just didnt think i wanted to be sexual with anyone id ever met. But it didnt feel quite right because I know i mustve felt some attraction to some guys before, and definitely felt attraction to actors and such.

And then my friend gave me the term Gray Asexuality to research. Have you ever been putting together a puzzle and u put a piece in place, and it looks right and the picture doesnt seem to be wrong--but then you find another piece that looks so similar and you try it instead and it fits so much better, not loose or jammed. That was my feeling finding out that there was this complexity to sexuality and romance to explain why things just always feel so subtle for me. To explain why I can crave love but I really very often find that the very idea of kissing and sex is just awkward and weird to imagine for myself. It explained part of why my one week relationship fell through. Id had a crush on the guy since first meeting him at the start if the school year, and i had been so excited when he asked me out, and it was fun to hold hands and hug. But i hadnt wanted to kiss him, and it had bene so annoying when my friend told me i should kiss him, even just on the cheek. It just hadnt felt like there was a very big difference between my friendship with him and dating him.

So i got to thinking over all of my feelings towards all sorts of people. And if my sexuality and attraction was as rare and subdued as all that towards men, then I felt that maybe I hadnt wuite recognized any feelings id had towards girls.

And after discovering the asexual spectrum, i finally had some very interesting dreams, the likes of which id never had before turning 18 let me tell you. And they didnt only focus on men anymore.

And then i was in my second year at college, and i hadnt had many more dreams, and i hadnt found any real crushes my first year. But my second year i started working at the library, and one day this cute asian girl came through with a polite hello as she passed the front desk where i sat politely greeting everyone for my first week. I found myself memorizing her immediately. I would hope to catch her eye, catch a hello, a goodbye. I found myself glancing over to ehere she sat if she was in sight. And when she came to check out dvds i memorized her name immediately, all the more because id seen it on a study desk while doing rounds. See i hadnt knoem that if someone leaves something at their desk ee leave it alonenso id taken the open umbrella doem to the front desk and asked my coworkers and they said to put it back so i remembered the namr on the desk and returned it. So when i saw this cute girls name and recognized it from that desk, it almsot felt like fate. But that was silly. And i only thought she seemed nice and she was cute. That was all.

But then i was trying to capture her likeness on paper, ehich didnt go well those first few sketches because i hadnt gotten any good looks at her face. And after finding out her name I suddenly heard it cropping up elsewhere, and i was talking to my friends about her. My friends did not agree that i wasnt crushing. I insisted that i just wanted to get to know her was all. And then one day at lunch a new friend id made in class invited me to sit with her and her friends, and she mentioned an Eliza. Boy the anticipation, the excitement, the shy feelings, and the satisfaction when the very same girl sat with us.

Then that same friend invited me to a movie night at her dorm lounge with her friends, and when i asked who all would be there, anyone i know, she said maybe. I wondered to myself if She would be there. When i got into the dorm, lost and unfamiliar with the halls, waiting for my friend to come find me, I suddenly heard teo voices from upstairs. I knew one was my new friend, and with joy i recognized the other as Her. As it turned out She was the only other friend to join us. We 3 spent the night watching black panther and history of japan, getting to know each other, and I painted Her nails. It was different touching her hands then itd ever been with another girl. I found myself hoping for something. I hoped at least that she would like me as a person and wed be friends.

Every interaction after was a treasure for me. Moments we happened to be alone, when she offered to keep me company at lonely meals, when we had a big kdrama hangout and she did my hair, etc etc.

I had to acknowledge that it was crush of course. I told my closest friends about it.

And one day this crazy thing happened. I was sitting with Her and our friend and the two of us apart from Her were discussing dating apps and whatnot. And She asked why was i even concerned eith that stuff anyways. Id been thinking by then that she might be aspec because she never threw in her oen teo cents about interest in relationships whrn we discussed these things. I explained that i just wanted to try dating. I hadnt ever been on a real date.

While our friend was continuing with another topic, i heard Her say that She could take me on a date. My mind caught on it, but the topic had changed, and I felt that it couldnt have been serious. And so i gushed and whined about it to my friends. But the next day I brought it up as a joke with our group of friends, and she acknowledged that shed said it. Our friends supported it, because why not. Theres such a thing as a friendly joke date. I kind of messed it up i think though because when it was jsut us parting ways after brunch, she said she was going downtown, and i said That couldve been our date. And she agreed and invited me along. I wish id been dressed cuter. But it was fine, and it was a nice enough date, though i dont think she had any experience or interedt in how dates usually worked--it wasnt a serious date anyways, so i wouldnt get my hopes up. I wouldnt be invested. But wr passed a friend of hers, another cute girl maybe smaller than me, and She told her that we were on a date. That felt significant.

The next day i brought up that wed gone on the date to my group of friends, with Her sitting next to me. And she became so awkward, and after my friends congratulated us, she told me It wasnt a real date. On the outside i played it off casually saying Listen do you know how excited friends get about dates let me have this. On the inside i was so disappointed and heartbroken and a bit defensively angry with her. I announced to the table that she wasnt to make sure everyone knew it wasnt a real date. What i was really saying was hey friends she just crushed my heart.

But we were still friends. And after a while i got okay again. She hadnt even noticed anything had gone wrong.

At some point I told that first mutual friend about my crush on Her. Id been withholding eho my crush was on from her for a while and she hadnt even guessed Her. But when I told her she said everything made sense.

And then she set us up for a valentines day date. I couldnt believe it. She jsut randomly messaged me Would u want Her to be ur valentines date. And i was like Id appreciate any date tbh but yeah id like to go on a date with Her. And apparently She just agreed. I couldnt tell you why she did any of the things she did. But i can tell you that thru some conversations it became clear that my hypothesis was likely accurate. She didnt understand dates, she didnt see the difference beteren friend date and real date. This was just this nice outing with a friend. Part of me was okay with that, because i did simply enjoy Her. But another part of me felt unfulfilled and sad. But we had a nice date anyways. I learned even mroe about her and she made me this oittle clay blueberry because i would sometimes just pick out a blueberry at the dining hall and admire its beauty. It was a very nice date and i got to dress up cute for someone. I didnt let myself hope for much.

And then i was talking to more of our mutual friends about crushing on Her, and someone told me that shed asked Her out before and that her response had been something along the lines of not being interested like that. We all agreed that She likely just doesnt have any interest in romance or whatnot.

And so i began burying it away. My mourning period passed. She graduated, and its all over. My first ever crush on a non-man. It had been nice.

Btw her ringtone in my phone was Mindy Gledhill's I Do Adore.

[1-800-letsgonap]

This is going to be a bit of a ramble of my thoughts

But I feel like I really need to type out how I feel in order to process some things. The first and most prominent thing is that im pretty hurt that a handful of people have kindve disapeared from my life. It’s literally never easy to swallow something like that and especially at a time when im going through so much. But im literally always going through things. bc like hello hi yes im mentally ill. The other day my therapist was telling me that when I feel like everyone woul be better off without me and that i burden them too much to remember that people are drawn to me for a reason and even if they dont stay forever I make impacts on peoples lives not just in negative ways but in positive ways too, even if I dont always allow myself to see that. So i guess when it comes to those people, if i think of it that way, its a bit easier to swallow.  I’m also insaneeeeely stressed about money, but im sortve putting my faith in god and hoping the money that im supposed to be getting comes before rent is due. I’ve been getting so stir crazy without a job and without a routine but there have been some positives. I’m eating decently well again, an i can tell how horrible it had gotten. I think thats the most difficult part about all of this. its like, leaving that job in that way wasn’t ideal, but im not being dramatic when i say it saved my life. the people who spent the most time with me had been BEGGING me to do something for months and they already see its changes. Its har to explain that to family across the country, bc they werent at work when I was losing my vision, they werent driving me home bc I was too dizzy to walk, and they werent guarding the bathrooms so i could throw up the only thing id eaten that day. So when people are like stressing me out about the next move and what comes next and should i go back to new york it really gets to me bc it took me sooo long to get to the point where i reached out for help again and its a big fucking deal.  when i was younger I used to imagine my death almost every day. Id imagine my funeral and how my family and friends would be sad but i wouldve taught them to love life and my life wouldve been meaningful. I never, ever,ever thought I’d live to be 26. I’ve come to this place where now i WANT to live....but i still see how everyones lives couldve been better without me, so i hafta remind myself of what my therapist said. and quite frankly its overwhelming. Its wayyyy too much on my heart to understand why and how so many people love me so much. I know im incredibly blessed and that god keeps his doors oepn for me no matter how often I leave him, but it consumes me and freaks me the actual fuck out. At the same time, it reminds me that there doesnt need to be anyone in my life who doesnt feel this way about me, who isn’t 100% rooting for me nmw. that doesnt mean i hate them, or even that I dont love them. i just really really really need to love myself. i thought about drinking alcohol about 4x today, and im really glad i didnt.  I thought about self destructing and just completely ruining my life in everyway about 6x today, but i didnt do that either. instead im trying my best to stick to what my therapist and i have come up with and realizing that this really isnt something i can overcome or even manage on my own. I cant get it out of my head, how she told me im gonna wind up dead. that sounds like a song, maybe i should write that....but regardless....shes right. i know it, she knows it, my parents know it, and honestly, at this poit, most of my friends know it. I wish so much that I had taken better care of myself when I was younger. I wish that while I had insurance i had taken advantage of the mental healthcare I couldve gotten. I wish that the day the cops found me in the middle of the road instead of letting them call meredith i wish they had taken me to the hospital.  but you cant live in the past, and I’ve never truly planned for a future. All i have is today. And well, im alive, and im fighting, and im forgiving, and thats all i can do <3