#she loved it in the season two roundtable

[wardensantoineandevka]

LMAO MARISHA BRINGING BACK THE BEST APPENDICES, SEASON 2 EPISODE 5: SUGARCOAT, DESPITE IT BEING FROM THE PREVIOUS SEASON

[thefirstknife]

Apparently there was a roundtable with a senior narrative head at bungie about destiny

where he stated "don't expect to be allies with the hive. or even Savathun"

which to me seems like a weird choice to say right after deeps ending?

That's interesting. Honestly, valid comment to me. Here's the link to the article itself! The dev that made the comments is Robert Brookes. One extra quote that isn't in the tweet (goes in between the two in the tweet):

“It’s gonna be really hard to walk that back from anyone’s perspective. Even if that ever became a possibility, there’s a lot of ground to cover to make amends for that.”

We often forget about that, because obviously everyone deserves a second chance, especially in a situation where the Hive were literally manipulated into becoming what they did, but at the end of the day, their gruesome conquests that wiped out thousands of civilisations is not something that everyone can or has to forgive.

People are really eager to forgive Savathun, completely, which was always weird to me in a fandom that has gone ballistic over infinitely smaller crimes. And I get it, Savathun is an incredibly compelling character, fantastically written, absolute banger of VA work. She's such a crucial element in the whole setting of Destiny and is fascinating to read about her. 100% one of the best characters in the entire franchise, intriguing and complex beyond pretty much anyone else.

But the characters within the story itself can't view her in this way or it would be immersion breaking. To them, Savathun isn't a character that's well written, she's a monster who is responsible for some of the most horrific things across time and space. I can definitely see any alliance with her to be temporary, out of necessity and not exactly on good terms. I would love for us to eventually get together with the Hive and join forces against those that are responsible for their course in life, but I think it's definitely something that, within the universe in-character, is not something entirely realistic and would be difficult to justify.

Definitely an odd thing to say now though. Maybe it's telling us to temper our expectations next season? We need Savathun's knowledge, but I don't see us being besties with her in any capacity. I'm not sure what people expect from a season where we rez Savathun; there's probably a lot of people who expect a Caiatl situation.

Realistically, it might be an uneasy cooperation that will be very limited and possibly exploited by Savathun to get out at the end. Right now she's dead and she can't do anything and for as long as we keep her, we're safe. But now that we need her... We have no choice. We have to get her out and once she's out, she will not be bound by anything to obey us. It's a very risky move, one that we're looking at out of desperation, and the risks were nicely laid out by Saladin, Saint and Zavala in their conversation. That bit is definitely priming us to expect some heavy resistance to help from Savathun from various characters and this comment might be as well.

I can't wait for the next season's story though! Savathun talking to us again, in any capacity, is something I've been waiting for eagerly since the end of WQ. I don't doubt for a second that the conversations she'll have will be full of some heavy stuff and that she will not play nice with us and that she (and Immaru) will make most of the situation where we're desperate for her help. She will probably also genuinely want to get her revenge to the Witness, but not necessarily as our sidekick. I think that continuing with the animosity between her and us adds an extra layer of depth to the whole story with her and the Hive.

[andmineisyellow]

The biggest issue with CME is how little it’s been focusing on the personal relationships and dynamics between the BAU members. There’s been a lot of talk about how there hasn’t been much attention given to certain ships, but realistically we haven’t gotten many meaningful moments between any of the BAU members as of late. 

The first two episodes- for the most part- did a good job of balancing the main plot with the side plots, while also reestablishing the group dynamics. The conflict between Rossi and the rest of the team leads to some really great moments between him and Garcia as well as him and Prentiss. Penelope and Luke spend a solid portion of Episode 1 just bantering back and forth, which was such a delight to watch. We get to see Tara and Emily bond. Even in scenes that would typically be filled with exposition, we get some personal connection, like when Luke and JJ are talking about bringing back Garcia. It’s clear those first two episodes understand why people watch this show. Yes, it’s a crime show but at the end of the day, it’s about these 6 to 8 people that sit at that roundtable. At least that’s why I watch this show. I watch it because I love seeing them work together, protect each other, and learn from one another.

Episode 3 drops almost all of the focus on the team and instead chooses to focus on the unsub. I understand that a show called Criminal Minds needs to have some of its focus on “the Criminal”, but that episode really shifts the rest of the season off of its axis. I also understand that supporting characters are necessary to drive conflict and provide character development to the main cast, but at this point, those relationships have started to outweigh what I care about most. And while we’re at it, Will, Tyler, and Bailey should not have more character development than Luke who is supposed to be a vital member of the BAU.

I guess what I’m saying is... I miss the team. I miss watching them come to work at the beginning of each day and talk about their lives. I miss moments like Luke bringing Emily takeout because she has to work late. I miss Rossi calling Garcia in the middle of a case just to see if she’s okay. I miss the girls going out and getting drunk. I miss their group gatherings.  I miss those quiet moments when they just get to be people who freakin’ love each other. We’ve gotten tastes of it in some of these more recent episodes, but it’s just... not enough. I appreciate that Evolution wants to dive deeper into some of these characters’ personal lives, but they’ve become so separate from each other that they’ve forgotten the heart of the show. It’s not one individual person or story. It’s them as a family.

[horizon-verizon]

Here’s the link

And here’s Emily Carey saying Alicent was in love with Criston

Response to this post.

🔗1st Article, June 12, 2024 [LATimes]: "As Alicent becomes more ‘adrift,’ Olivia Cooke’s purpose grows in ‘House of the Dragon’"

Excerpt:

Season 2 opens with the characters split apart. Rhaenyra is grieving the loss of her son Lucerys at the hand of Alicent’s one-eyed son Aemond in Dragonstone. Alicent remains in King’s Landing, where Aegon sits on the Iron Throne. Cooke says Alicent “gets a massive dose of the reality” when her “psycho sons” take control of the realm. “[She is] being forced to reckon with sublimating her own power in the raising of her sons,” Condal says. “The minute she puts Aegon on the throne, her great power as the queen of the Seven Kingdoms is immediately diminished.” The separate storylines for Alicent and Rhaenyra meant the actors didn’t get to spend as much time together on set this season, to their disappointment. It also meant that the uneasy relationship between Rhaenyra and Alicent unfolds over a distance — at least early on. Cooke refuses to say whether the characters reunite for fear of spoilers. But Condal acknowledges that it’s essential to the story for fans to see the characters together again.

“So much of the fun and the drama is taking these characters who have these complicated relationships and separating them because of the forces of politics and the war at hand,” he says. “And then finding ways to bring them back together, and seeing how the world and the war have changed them.” On a more positive note, Alicent has the opportunity to explore her sexuality this season, coupling up with a character who will, for now, remain unnamed (let’s just say he matches her freak). It’s a rare expression of freedom for a woman who has lacked agency, which Condal says has “greatly affected who her character is.” “That was really important because you’ve not seen Alicent experience that in her adult life, and all of a sudden, she has all these teenage, passionate feelings toward someone,” Cooke says. “I think that makes her feel insane.”

🔗2nd Article, Sep 29, 2022 [BuisnessInsider]: "'House of the Dragon' star Emily Carey says Alicent was originally meant to be 'in love' with Criston Cole"

Excerpt:

But in a recent interview with Variety, Carey said that there is another reason for the feelings of betrayal. "She goes through so many emotions in one go — a concoction cocktail of all of these feelings," Carey said. "It's the betrayal of, 'Hold on. You slept with him, and I'm in love with him, and you know this. That's not fair.' Alicent is all about duty, through and through. It's always duty versus heart with her… I'm glad that I got to show how she became this angry woman. And I think that scene is such a turning point."  She added: "There's the betrayal of, 'You lied to me.' Then the betrayal of, 'I swear this upon the memory of my mother,' which is what you see in episode two with their shared trauma. It's something that they bond over. Alicent took Rhaenyra to the Sept and showed this emotional vulnerability, and let her see this part of her that she doesn't really show to anyone."  The idea that Alicent is "in love" with Criston has shocked fans because "House of the Dragon" hasn't really alluded to romantic feelings between Alicent and Criston. In the first episode, Alicent and Rhaenyra discuss Criston briefly when he appears during the jousting tournament but there aren't any other scenes where Alicent explicitly shows affection for the Kingsguard. In addition, some fans thought Alicent's feelings of betrayal were actually jealousy due to romantic feelings for Rhaenyra. The pair shared a close bond in the first episode and many fans believe that the characters may actually be queer. During a roundtable interview, which Insider attended ahead of the series, Carey said that she thought the characters were "in love a little bit" when she first read the script."I think any woman could think back to the best friend that they had at 14 years old, and it's a relationship and a closeness unlike any other," Carey, who is also queer, said. "You do toe the line between platonic and romantic." In a later interview with the New York Times, Carey and Alcock said they felt like they were "about to kiss" after an emotional scene in episode four where their characters reconnected.

[neikikardartv]

Superhero Roundtable

Gen V (2023)

The series Gen V is a spin-off of The Boys series on Prime, it aired very recently with the season only wrapping up on November 3rd of this year. The show takes place in the same universe as The Boys and its timeline is meant to align and intersect a bit with the new season. Instead of focusing on the main adult superheros of the universe, Gen V chooses to center its narrative on the younger victims of compound V (Which is the drug people can take to potentially get powers). The show is set in a college that only ‘Supes’ can attend (think Sky High). There they are ranked and all aim for the number one spot and to be a part of the famous ‘7’ supe group. The show is similar to what I talked about in my Buffy roundtable but here demons are swapped with superpowers for adolescent woes metaphors.

How do structural mythology, cultural studies, and cultural history reflect the series?

As the show came out this year it's cultural studies and history is all very recent, and it specifically caters toward Gen Z. In doing so the cast is much more diverse than The Boys and earlier superhero shows. The main character is a young Black woman named Marie who’s love interest is a bigender Korean American who can shapeshift between two different genders of masculine and feminine. The friend group she also meets up with also consists of others diverse in background and ethnicity. The call for more diverse superheroes is definitely a product of more recent cultural values and changes, especially with younger people being the target demographic. The politics of the show also represent the recent political timeline with our generation's disappointment in the actions and lack of actions the government has taken on corruption with capitalism, climate change, etc . This can be seen with Vought International, the multibillion dollar conglomerate that founded the famous 7 and manages ‘supes’. The company also does entertainment, news, weapons, fast food chains etc. The corruption of the company and its supes, most notably its most powerful supe Homelander who’s villain arc mirrors Trump, really fits the current post Trump political climate. The structural mythology of supes in the show is interesting as well. Instead of the show having the classic Hero’s journey with its superheroes and their gaining of powers. The main characters of the show got their powers from their parents injecting them with Compund V so they could profit off of their abilities. The superpowers they have are often the root of their trauma. The main character, Marie,  has blood controlling powers that manifested on her first period and led her to accidentally kill her parents in front of her sister. Overall, this pessimistic view of superheroes and their powers is really reflective of our current political and cultural landscape.

In what ways are the superheroes and their abilities informed by their racial, gender, sexual, and cultural identities?

One superhero that exemplifies the concept of their abilities being informed by their identities—specifically gender—is Jordan Li, the bigender Korean American who can shapeshift between two different genders of masculine and feminine that I previously mentioned. Through Jordan Li’s super powers the show is able to mythologize gender fluidity and identity struggles. In this clip, Jordan is talking to their parents who are upset that their developing powers gave them the ability to shift from a boy to a girl. Jordan has to explain that they are still themselves in both forms and have always been the same, but their father still disapproves.

In what ways do costumes and concealing identities further separate the superheroes from normal society? How necessary is it for the superheroes to hide their true identities to successfully achieve their goals?

In the Gen V the superheroes identities aren’t concealed from the public but they do have superhero personas that they are more known by in the public and media sphere. The celebrity-like status they have with their super personas is used to other them and commodify their powers to entertain others as a spectacle. One example of this is with the character Emma whose superpower is her ability to make herself change size. At school she is majoring in becoming a super influencer basically and goes by the persona ‘Little Cricket’ for her popular youtube channel. While her channel is popular we learn that it really is her mother wanting to profit off of her abilities and doesn’t care that she has to throw up and purge in order to change herself. Her power is also fetishized by a male classmate who wants her to get small while they are intimate. So in Gen V the creation of separate identities is not used to achieve their own personal goals but is instead taken advantage of by non-supes to capitalize off of.

How do the economic, political, and social events that occurred during the series’ creation and broadcast cultivate and inform the superheroes’ decisions and actions? 

In the series there is a very ‘us vs. them’ mentality between the supes and non-supes that is reminiscent of the current political climate. In episode 7 a senator comes to the school for an interview and it ends in a riot. The senator runs the Federal Bureau of Superhuman Affairs which seeks to monitor and investigate Supes and stop them from harming others. In the panel Senator Neuman is trying to pander to both sides, with boos and applause for each statement as the students are split between wanting to punish Supes like Homelander for killing innocent people or for thinking that not supporting him is Anti-super.  As the episode description shows, 

Calling all God U #Hometeamers! Today we’re protesting Socialist Victoria Neuman’s town hall on campus! Let’s show Neuman and her Supe-hating woke mob that we won’t put up with their anti-Superhero agenda! THEY WILL NOT CONTROL US! #MakeAmericaSuperAgain #SupeLivesMatter

The supe vs non-supe divide is very politicized with it mirroring liberal and conservative ideals of the spectrum. The situation is very polarizing and the “Supelivesmatter” crowd ends up disrupting the panel and it becomes very violent. The show is not very subtle with its mirroring of Blue Lives Matter and MAGA, especially with Homelander being a stand in for Trump. This is the central conflict between America’s general super population and their actions demonstrating the impact of our own political news cycle on the show.

How do the superheroes question themselves, each other, and their obligations and duties to the people around them?

In the show characters are constantly questioning intentions, who to trust, and what is right and wrong–especially within the supes and non supes dichotomy. The main characters are grappling with if the pain and violence that their powers have inflicted on others unintentionally are actually their fault and dealing with their guilt and self hatred for it at the same time.

This really leads to the central conflict of if their obligations are to use their powers to protect themselves or the non-supes that put them in the position of having these powers in the first place. The show is really complex in its portrayal of this as in the final scene of the show you are really left wondering what is the right thing to do alongside the characters as they decide who they should side with. Gen V is unique because while in The Boys the superheroes are more villainized but in Gen V it’s more unclear as we are able to see through following the adolescent super perspective it wasn't their fault. It is only at university that Marie and other students are able to begin to realize that the violence and trauma their powers have inflicted on their families and other non-supes is not their own but their parents' fault for injecting them with compound V in the first place.

The fact that their parents did in want of fame and fortune promised by Vought International,  really shows that capitalism has been the real villain all along.

“Your parents shot you up with a dangerous drսg when you were a baby to make a buck off you. Don't spend a fսcking minute crying over them”

@theuncannyprofessoro

[samlamwambam]

Roundtable Presentation: We Don't Need Another Superhero

How do structural mythology, cultural studies, and cultural history reflect the series’ world and world-building around superheroes? 

Supergirl’s true identity is Kara Zor-El, with her earth name being Kara Danvers. The show takes place in National City, and besides this world’s advanced technology and interaction with the extraterrestrial, it reflects a world much like ours. The politics of this world is similar in the sense that there are “anti-alien” political groups that lead the aliens of this world to find refuge in their own bars, neighborhoods, etc. In fact, Kara’s best friend, Lena Luthor, develops a piece of technology meant to identify who in a crowd is alien and who is not, a severe form of othering.  

In what ways are the superheroes and their abilities informed by their racial, gender, sexual, and cultural identities? 

One of the main challenges for Supergirl is coming to terms with her identity and finding space for herself in a world dominated by male superheroes, specifically her cousin, Superman (aka Clark Kent). During the destruction of their planet, a teenage Kara is sent to earth to protect baby Clark. However, Kara arrives on earth much later than Superman because she ended up trapped in the Phantom Zone, a dimension of space where time doesn’t exist. Thus, although Kara is older, Clark is already an adult while Kara is growing up with her adoptive family. In a world where a male superhero with identical powers is established, Supergirl has to work twice as hard to make sure she isn’t just known as “Superman’s cousin.” 

Another way Supergirl is informed by her gender is through her interaction with other male characters. Most Superman narratives don’t typically focus on Superman’s love interest, and even if it does, it rarely has a large enough focus to affect the trajectory of Superman’s abilities. Contrastingly, the TV show Supergirl is packed with “damsel in distress” storyarcs, where she is often saved by one of her love interests. This is interesting considering one of the main themes of the show is feminism.

In what ways do costumes and concealing identities further separate the superheroes from normal society? How necessary is it for the superheroes to hide their true identities to successfully achieve their goals? 

Supergirl's costume separates her completely from her actual identity, Kara Danvers. The importance of the costume especially comes to light when she is interacting with her boss, Cat Grant, and her best friend, Lena Luthor. Both characters have very different attitudes when it comes to Supergirl versus Kara. Cat Grant idolizes Supergirl and aims to secure interviews with her for her magazine while treating Kara, her assistant, with little acknowledgement and appreciation. Lena Luthor, who begins as friends with both of Supergirl’s identities, becomes both vengeful and terrified of Supergirl and strains their relationship even further by developing anti-alien technology that could dampen Supergirl’s abilities. As for her relationship with Kara, the two are the bestest of friends until Kara reveals her superhero identity to Lena, leading to an extreme loss of trust between the two. For Supergirl, it’s extremely important for her to maintain a hidden identity so that her complex work relationships do not get mixed up with her personal ones. 

How do the economic, political, and social events that occurred during the series’ creation and broadcast cultivate and inform the superheroes’ decisions and actions? 

Supergirl aired in 2015, and in 2016, the election between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton was the topic of the year. Thus, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that season two of Supergirl had more episodes surrounding the president than any other season. The President in the world of this series was a woman named Olivia Marsdin. However, one of the biggest shocks of the entire series was in the season four premiere, where The President was revealed to be a shapeshifting alien herself. This is especially interesting considering Trump’s stance on immigration during this time. In the world of Supergirl, this revelation threw the public into utter chaos and shock, especially because of the anti-alien sympathizers spread throughout the country. Although the President shows no immediate threat and has been running the country with its inhabitants best interests at heart, both human and alien, the Constitution leaves no room for the President to not be a natural-born citizen, let alone an extraterrestrial. The revelation tarnished the image of aliens all over the country, including Supergirl, and anti-alien extremist groups gained even more support, with one of the leaders, Agent Liberty, becoming the primary antagonist of the season. 

How do the superheroes question themselves, each other, and their obligations and duties to the people around them? 

Because she has to keep her identities separate, Supergirl often has to hide parts of herself from the people closest to her. Thus, when she’s able to share her full self with someone, it takes an extra emotional toll on her to lose them. During an invasion, Supergirl has to choose between saving the people of Earth from becoming mindless drones or losing the love of her life, Mon-El. Ultimately, she of course chooses to save Earth, but there is a moment where Supergirl questions whether all she has sacrificed for this world both physically and emotionally is worth it or not.

@theuncannyprofessoro

[gatalentan]

i don't think your post is fair. it's a bit victim blaming to say that not getting nominated is Lisa Ann's fault for going on vacation, isn't it? i'm allowed to be upset about her not getting nominated because it isn't fair, she's just as important as Janelle or Sheryl and she keeps getting left out.

ok i got two asks like this and i'm only going to answer this one and that's gonna be the end of it. i'm gonna lay it all out here.

1. yes, it would be nice if all our faves got nominated for the shows they're in, but the uncomfortable reality is that awards shows are not a meritocracy and there are only a limited number of spots per category. it doesn't matter how much you deserve an award, what matters is the for your consideration campaign, how hard the network/studio backs you and promotes you, how good your personal pr team are at reaching out to do promotion, how much the voters already know about you (do you have an existing legacy? do i know you from something else that i can judge your acting ability on, even if i've never seen the show you're campaigning for?) and the amount of promotion you're willing to do. FYC campaigns costs hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars, a lot of it we don't even see as viewers, including parties, meetings, fliers, billboards, press kits, interviews, magazine and newspaper spreads, photoshoots, yada yada yada. for more on this see: Hollywood Awards Season Explained | How to Win an Oscar | For your consideration: the ever more lavish Emmys campaigns | Inside the Tony Awards Campaign | How Avenue Q Snagged the Tony From Wicked’s Fingers | “The Billboard Has Become King in FYC”: Emmy Campaigners Jostle for Limited Space in Peak TV Era

2. lisa deserved to go on her dream vacation now she finally has tv money, that is absolutely undisputable and i'm happy for her that she did. all i was stating is that the reality is that it fell during the nomination FYC period and she went largely dark for nearly a month during one of the most crucial times in the campaign and only started mentioning the emmy's again like a week before voting opened. she did press before and after coming back, sure. but she missed a pretty crucial window and the opportunity to participate in roundtables etc, and you could see in real time on Variety, Gold Derby etc, her fall off the bottom of the predictions list as she went dark and then dip back up to the *very* bottom when she came back and stuck her head above the parapet again. it was completely realistic that she did not get the nomination because of this. it's just a reality of awards season. you're either campaigning or you're not. it's politics, it's a popularity contest, and most of the people voting don't even watch half the stuff they're voting for, only how much they like you or how good your campaign is and how much you schmooz them. (see: What Hollywood Insiders Won’t Tell You About the Academy Awards)

3. you're allowed to be upset. nowhere did I say anyone is not allowed to be upset. i'm not your mom or your dad and you're anon, I don't even know who you are. my only gripe is this exact notion of comparing her to the other cast - and i fear janelle is going to get the brunt of it because she's less popular with the abbott fandom especially on twitter because she's not "fan-friendly" and that's bullshit. lisa is a grown ass woman who can defend herself if necessary, and she loves and supports her castmates successes. we should be doing the same, not dragging them down to lift her up. abbott is an ensemble show and none of them can succeed without the other cast members. lisa'll get her flowers eventually, this show isn't going anywhere, and besides, there's a pretty damn high chance the show will win for ensemble/best comedy in this and other awards shows, anyway. she's gonna be up on that stage regardless. would i have been so happy for her if she won? duh. look at my fucking icon and like 50% of my blog content. i would have been beyond thrilled for her. but the show is still young and there's time for her to get a really meaty episode or two that makes for a really solid fyc campaign submission in another year. readathon is wonderful but I don't think melissa has had That Episode yet, not a Fire or a Mom, versus ava who is a one-liner lynchpin in the ensemble every single episode as the tritragonist/antagonist to Janine and Gregory. there's time for that, and she may even get nominated in other awards shows this year, who knows. but you need to bare in mind that awards shows aren't fair, that's my main point here. if they were, stephanie hsu wouldn't have lost the oscar to jamie lee curtis.

[kaoarika]

Even though I'm already up to date with the Undead Unluck series, I am stll buying the physical edition of the manga (I recently finished vol 8) and I'm currently re-reading what I have read with more knowledge behind (so, spoilers).

I did notice stuff like:

How Fuuko hasn't fathomed the seriousness of how God(s) are playing with the negators as toys, until Apocalypse notes to her that, just because they are doing the challenges and some rewards are "neat", they still have to suffer the consequences of those challenges, for good and bad (speaking of which, didn't Union in the 101th loop not only defeated Autumn but ALSO killed them? like, no more autumn as a season?)

Wow, I didn't realize how FAST winter took down everything since Summer wasn't no more.

The whole "Billy isn't bad, actually" was THERE. I think the hints on how Unfair works are shown in the chapter where Juiz and Billy fight each other... but Teller/Tella gives the hints on how it activates, Fuuko's Unluck is a "weird" ability... but he mentions something about "show me your heart", and she... reacts normally - she doesn't look angry... there's no hate, nothing. She only wants to save people from dying from the weather's imbalance as quick as possible, first and foremost. She never seemed to "hate" Billy as she was set in trying to understand why he betrayed Union. That's also why Billy never replicated her Unluck ability.

I love the extras from the manga? (As how it tells us about how Feng got Unfade, and the after events when Burn stole the roundtable) And I'm particularly curious on why Billy recruited the others. I would understand his main two team, Creed and Teller, or Feng, and Rip and Latla... but the others? Yusai is a bit of a question mark, although I understand it might have been because of her connection towards Andy. Unless Billy was also recruiting negators as an "alternative" to strategize how to defeat Sun w/o Union. He does mention much more later on that most of the negators in Union are teenagers and/or kids, and "they don't belong to the battleground" (I mean, good for him in thinking that way... but he also had Bunny, a literal child in his team and wanted to recruit Tatiana, too... they DO have useful negator abilities, but let's be real, Billy).

I do feel, that, whatever Feng mentions here where he never saw Shen nor Mei as his family, deeply inside he does start to regret some of those choices, as it seems he still looks for Shen as his disciple in the extra, lol (also during the final 11 or so minutes for the next loop to happen). We all know these days that, although he was forced by Fuuko in Loop 101 to take care of Shen and Mei, he finally had something he surely lacked in the previous loop.

I'm still kinda amazed of how much of a shut-in was Fuuko during her teenage years. It isn't too obvious but you see it when she goes to Chikara's school (the first time) and when the ice and snow from Winter melts once Winter is destroyed.

I really wish a fanbook. I know that there are still negators left to look for in the 101th Loop (between the most anticipated ones like Andy or Juiz), but I really want to know what's the deal with the ones we don't really have so much info about (those that were from Under). Like, sure, their motives and stories are going to change in some aspects, but for real, real, what was their DEAL pre-101?

[damnhotmsimmons]

So I watched the first two episodes of Criminal Minds Evolution, here are my thoughts:

Since this will be very long, I made a separate post with this one centering on the first episode. Will share my thoughts on the second episode in another post

*spoilers below* do not click if you haven’t seen the episodes

Update: I meant to work on this when I first watched the two episodes but didn’t get a chance to finish it. So the thoughts I had then are different from my thoughts on the episodes now after completing the season

cm 16x01/cme 1x01 Just Getting Started

  You can already tell what a difference it makes to have a show being developed on a streaming platform. The cinematography looks impressive, betting lighting and no more of that disgusting yellow filter in the later seasons

 The show feels more similar to Mindhunter than other CBS procedurals like NCIS, CSI and their spinoffs.

With the show on a streaming platform, they could have easily tried to amp up any violence and nudity but they didn’t. There’s little exploitation

For some reason JJ looked much better here than in the last three seasons. 

Ditto for Emily looking stunning with the silver hair, way better than the wigs she wore in s14-15

I also love Tara’s natural hair look. Hell, the ladies all look great in season 16

You know that the show has gone for so long that Henry is now a teenager. 

Deputy Director Bailey is getting on my nerves. Another obstructive bureaucrat trying to undermine the team. Barnes 2.0 but worse. It wouldn’t surprise me if he has an ulterior motive behind it

So Emily is now Section Chief, which means Cruz is gone (not helped that he basically vanished after 10x19) 

Elias Volt (The guy at the beginning and end of the episode) seems more interesting as an unsub than Lynch

While it isn’t the first time we’ve seen a pissed off Garcia, it’s interesting to see her go off on Rossi, and it’s nice to see her stand up for herself

I was kinda bummed that after one date, Garcia and Luke didn’t attempt to pursue the relationship further. Either that or covid or something else. Still, their interactions were everything and I love the kiss on the cheek he gave her

You know that Rossi is at a low point when he eats microwave mac & cheese

Honestly, I’m not a huge fan of them fridging Krystal. The man has already been through enough, he’s lost like two wives, Strauss and a few of his friends like damn. Even if the actress is unavailable, was her death really necessary? Along with a rehash of Carolyn’s death

Tara got a girlfriend, I’m so happy, she and Rebecca deserve all the love and appreciation

JJ looks so good in 16x02, and I love the intimate scene she has with Will near the end

Or course Emily would tease Tara about her relationship with Rebecca as well as JJ getting it on with Will in the morning. She is a mood though

I love Garcia and her coming back is bittersweet as I love seeing her work with the rest of the gang but at the cost of her new happy life

I miss Matt Simmons so much and wished he was acknowledged as much as Reid. At least Daniel is doing better in The Wheel of Time and CA2

Elias has a wife and two daughters, quite a dark parallel to JJ with her two sons or even Matt

Only two episodes in and Elias is a more interesting unsub than Lynch, it helps that Zach has a good performance. They better not mess that up

The network of serial killers is an interesting storyline and considering how underwhelming past storylines can be in cm, I fear the storyline will have an underwhelming ending

The end scene with the roundtable is so sweet, the gang is back together

[rachaelswrites]

True Genius

Spencer Reid x Daughter!reader

Based on Criminal Minds Season 7 Episode 11

Word Count: 677

A/N: This is a little drabble instead of a one-shot. Hope you enjoy! Reader is 7

Since the team was on a case in California, you were staying with your Aunt Penelope. She had told you the team was coming back home today so it was no surprise when you got called out of class early to the office with your things. On days when the team came home either Spencer or Penelope would pick you up early.

Garcia was there in the office and waiting for you near the door, “My favorite baby genius!” she exclaimed, seeing you and running over to hug you, “How was school?”

“It was fine,” you said, hugging her back, “Why are you so excited to see me? You just saw me this morning.”

“Well you, me and some of the other BAU people are planning a little surprise for your dad. That’s why I’m excited!” she explained as she signed you out, “That sounds fun right?”

You nodded, “It does! I think daddy will like it.”

“Oh I hope so,” she said, taking your hand, “And if not, we can just blame your Uncle Morgan.”

~~~~~

Penelope drove you to the BAU and since the team had beaten you there, you two had to sneak around in order for Spencer not to see you or her. Emily was keeping him occupied down the hallway while you, her and the remaining members of the team were setting up the roundtable room.

You helped JJ and Derek hang up balloons and streamers while Hotch and Rossi worked on getting the cake and presents ready. Just as Derek was lifting you up so you could tape a few balloons to the ceiling, Garcia got a text from Emily, saying she and Reid would be up in a few minutes.

“You ready, pretty girl?” Derek asked. He let you finish taping the balloons before he lowered you, holding you at his hip, “You think your daddy is going to like it?”

“Yeah!” you said, “He likes anything I helped with.”

All of you heard footsteps and Emily’s voice down the hallway and you all got ready to surprise your dad. When the doorknob started to turn, you started to giggle so Derek quietly shushed you.

The door opened and you all yelled out various forms of “surprise” and “happy birthday”

Spencer was not only shocked that his team threw him a late birthday party but that they also got you there without him knowing. The look on Reid’s face let the team know that he was definitely surprised but also happy.

“Thank you,” Spencer said, taking in everyone and everything in the room.

“Happy birthday!” JJ cheered, going up to Spencer and hugging him. Penelope was next to hug him then Rossi, who placed a kiss to each of his cheeks in the normal, Rossi fashion.

“Happy Birthday Reid,” Hotch said, giving him a hug.

Derek could feel you trying to get down and out of his grip so he let you go, letting you run over to your dad.

Spencer saw you coming and crouched down so he was level with you as you collided into him.

“Happy birthday daddy!” you said, wrapping your arms around his neck, “Did we surprise you?”

“Yes you did,” Spencer responded, standing up with you in his arms, “I love it. Thank you,” he said, kissing your forehead.

“Happy birthday old man,” Derek said, giving your dad a side hug, “You’re getting up there now.”

“Oh am I?” Reid joked.

“Yeah what are you? Almost forty?” Derek teased.

Spencer laughed, “I guess I am getting up there.”

“Time for cake!” Penelope said while JJ picked up the cake from the table and held it in front of Spencer.

“Make a wish, pretty boy,” Derek said as Spencer breathed in to blow out his candles.

Spencer let all the air out of his lungs to blow out his candles. You knew the superstition of not telling anyone your birthday wish so you didn’t ask but Spencer would always remember it. His wish was that no matter what happened, this memory would always stay with him.

Taglist

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Criminal Minds

@jswessie187 @wannabemobwife @doctorspenceryeet​ 

Episode Series

@bunnyweasley23​ @mrchiipchrome​

[fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy]

Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

[bewitching-elizabeth-olsen]

Press: “It’s a New Day”: THR Drama Actress Roundtable

THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER: Gillian Anderson had been dreading this. A tripod had arrived at her home in the U.K., along with a mess of lights and, really, just the thought of having to sit through an hour-plus on Zoom had her practically reeling. But then the woman who stuns as Margaret Thatcher in the most recent season of Netflix’s The Crown got talking — about pigeonholing and pay equity, about grieving and giving oneself over — and soon she didn’t want to stop talking. And neither did anyone else — The Queen’s Gambit‘s Anya Taylor-Joy, Pose‘s Mj Rodriguez, Genius: Aretha‘s Cynthia Erivo, WandaVision’s Elizabeth Olsen and Ratched‘s Sarah Paulson — at THR’s annual (virtual) Drama Actress Roundtable.

Let’s start easy. Complete this sentence: On set, I’m the one who is most likely to be …

GILLIAN ANDERSON Hiding in a corner. (Laughter.)

ANYA TAYLOR-JOY Pacing whilst moving my hands like this (waving above) trying to figure out what it is that I’m doing.

SARAH PAULSON Bossing everyone around.

ELIZABETH OLSEN Probably trying to make the crew laugh.

At the same time, you’re also inhabiting characters for long stretches and often they require you to go to dark or heavy places. What happens when a director yells, “Cut”? Do they come home with you?

MJ RODRIGUEZ I try to separate myself from Blanca as much as possible, especially [because we’re] dealing with immense trauma. So, when I go home, it’s Michaela Jaé going home, and I bring Blanca to the set. It’s easier that way because it can weigh on you otherwise and wash off on your family.

TAYLOR-JOY I wish I had as much control over it. For me, there are some characters that you can very easily snap in and out of and then there are other ones like Beth in The Queen’s Gambit. I’d worked back-to-back on two projects with one day off in between, so by the time I got to filming the show, I was exhausted and there was no energy to create a barrier. And that was potentially the toughest thing about the show, because it was a wonderful experience as an actor to be able to not have to reach for any emotion, but then you also have to go through the psychological warfare of figuring out, “Why do I feel so awful in the morning?” Like, “What is happening?” And then you go, “Oh, it’s not my feelings,” but I have to sit in them all day and I have to be aware enough to go, “You are not depressed, the character is depressed, and at some point that will leave you.” But I do think a bath every single night — being able to have the visual representation of washing yourself clean of something — helps.

OLSEN Regardless of what exactly the day requires of you, emotionally, you’re just tired. And so you try to be patient and professional and kind, and then when you go home, that’s when your fuse is just … smaller. (Laughter.)

TAYLOR-JOY You should date us, we’re fabulous.

CYNTHIA ERIVO I did, it was a real ugly cry. After playing [Harriet Tubman in the 2019 film], I went straight to see my mother in London and I don’t know what happened, but I just broke. You know the visual representation of shattering glass? That was what was happening to me. All the stuff I had to dig through to play her, all that heartbreaking stuff didn’t leave me when I finished, and it took time to just dissipate. And it was the same with Aretha — unfortunately, the pandemic hit when we were in the middle of shooting, so I couldn’t completely get rid of her during the six-month hiatus, and then I had to go right back into playing her. And it’s little things, like mannerisms, that stick with you. The lilt in her voice when she’s speaking to people. Like, that’s not me but I was stuck with that for a bit. And I was recording an album at the same time, so there was no space between one and the other. It took me a while before I could listen to an Aretha song again.

ANDERSON I certainly had that experience doing X-Files for nine seasons. I had a good couple of mini breakdowns during that, and at the end, could not talk about it, could not see it, could not see pictures, could not. I needed to immerse immediately in theater in another country. And then after a while, I was able to embrace it again, but when I started to embrace it, it was almost like I separated myself so much that I was looking at the image as if it was another person. When you immerse yourself so entirely as we can and we do for such long periods of time, there’s not going to be no consequence to that. Of course, there’s going to be consequence to that.

TAYLOR-JOY May I pose a question to the group?

Please do.

TAYLOR-JOY It’s so wonderful hearing you two talk about this, because I’ve always felt really crazy for the depressions that you go into after you leave a character and not being able to necessarily connect with yourself. And I’m really curious to hear what your relationship is with something being seen. Because when I first started working, I convinced myself that filmmaking was a very private practice with a private group of people and that no one was ever going to see it. And I thought I’d grow out of that, and I haven’t. Every project I have to sit myself down about two months after it’s finished and go, “People are going to see this and have access to it whenever they want.” How do you guys work [handle that]? Because for Queen’s Gambit, I had to go through a grieving period. It was grief, genuinely, to think, “Oh goodness, this thing that I loved so much is not mine anymore.”

ANDERSON I had that experience after doing Blanche in Streetcar [Named Desire] here in the U.K. and then in New York.

OLSEN I saw your last performance in New York. You were fabulous.

PAULSON Fucking phenomenal.

ANDERSON I felt like I’d lost my best friend. I was grieving. Some friends of mine in New York had a brunch for me the weekend after [I finished my run], and I arrived like a complete wreck. It was so profound. I also knew it was unlikely I was going to do it again because I knew that I’d probably lose my mind. I got really close. Like, I’d survived by the skin of my teeth and if I did it again out of ego or attachment or not wanting to let her go, there would be consequences. So I knew it was the end, and it was so sad.

ERIVO Do you know what’s so crazy? I listen to you and I’m like, “Oh my God, that’s what was happening to me during The Color Purple.” It was the last show and I started grieving in the show, knowing that it was coming to an end. There’s one last song and I couldn’t get through it. And then the show ends and I buckled under the sadness of it. But there was no way I could have continued playing Celie on that stage. It [had been] 14 months and I had to let her go. The line between me and her had disappeared. But to answer your question, Anya, I’ve never had an issue with people seeing things. I usually have an issue seeing it after it’s done.

PAULSON This happened when I did Marcia Clark [for The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story]. I felt a profound connection to her and I felt protective of her, and the experience had been so tectonic plate-shifting for me, both as a performer and as a human, and I thought, “If I watch it, I’m going to pick apart everything.” She was left-handed, so every time I use my right hand, I’m going to think, “God damn it, why did they use that?” So, the only way to protect myself from that is to detach from what the world will experience with it. And I’ve maintained that for a long time now — I really don’t watch [things I’m in] because I don’t have the strength, first of all, to bear the sight of my face and, also, I find it really confronting. The preciousness of the thing you were creating with these other people is what I want to be the indelible thing for me and not how it was edited.

TAYLOR-JOY Mm-hmm.

PAULSON All that does is make me furious because I don’t have the power to go in and go, “Hi, um, could you choose take six? It’s infinitely better.” (Laughter.) And when you don’t have that ability and you’re at the mercy of someone else’s opinion of what is the finest work that you’ve done, which doesn’t always line up with what you feel, it’s really jarring and you feel so powerless to do anything about it. So, I have to just sage it all out and let my experience be the only thing that governs the way I feel about it.

RODRIGUEZ When the first two seasons of Pose came out, I didn’t watch them at first because I was just so nervous about how the world would receive it. It was a story that a lot of people haven’t gotten to see, and it was a whole bunch of trans women of color finally getting their shot. It’s a lot of responsibility. And on top of that, it’s a story that’s filled with trauma and things that a lot of us trans women have gone through, so it was hard for me to watch all of those things back.

Gillian, in your career you’ve also been a champion for pay equity. But even as you were promoting a book you co-authored on female empowerment a few years ago, you acknowledged that you were nervous speaking up about being paid less than your male co-star. What do you think you were scared of, and how have the conversations for you changed since?

ANDERSON I just need to point out that I first fought for pay equity way back when it was audacious by anybody’s standards, because I was a nobody when we started to do that series. But when I really spoke up about it was when it happened again, four or five years ago, after the career I’d already had post-X-Files. We were going back to do another season and Fox came to me to offer, I don’t know, a 10th of what my co-star [David Duchovny] was being offered. That was the point where I was like, “Fuck this. I’m actually going to talk about this [publicly].” And since then, it hasn’t really come up. I mean, I haven’t worked with a lot of men, so that hasn’t been an issue. (Laughs.) I’m certainly tuned to it, and were it something now, I’d address it. But I have so much admiration for anyone who stands up for their right either to be paid or to be hired, period. And look, they weren’t going to fire me on The X-Files. The stakes weren’t that high. I put my foot down, not because the stakes weren’t high, but if they were going to fire me, some people were going to have some things to say about that. It’s very different for a young woman going into a job situation with a boss who’s overbearing and asking for a pay raise.

Sure, you had leverage.

ANDERSON Yeah.

For the rest of you, when have you spoken up in your careers?

ERIVO I mean, the obvious is I’m a Black woman, and that has a lot to do with how you’re paid, how you’re hired, if you’re hired, the way you’re hired — it affects everything. I’m lucky enough to have a team behind me that is brave enough to ask the questions I’d like asked: What I’m being paid compared to the leading man in the show, or if I’m being paid a lot less, whether or not they are willing to come up so it becomes equal. And about little things in my contract that just make it easier to exist on a set. For me, it’s about having the guts to stick with it and to keep asking and keep fighting. And there are definitely times where you’re like, “I am so exhausted from asking the same thing.” Like, if we could please have this makeup artist with me because usually there are no Black makeup artists on a set and you’re the only one who needs one, and I’ve had to have that fight every single time I’ve gone onto a set: “I need to hire these two people because they are the only people that understand how to do my face or my hair.” It isn’t about vanity, it’s about making sure that whoever I’m playing is represented in the right way because they understand how to work with my skin tone and my hair. But you keep sticking with it because it’s not just me having my way, it’s me being able to employ two other people. And then maybe I’m asking, “Can we have a DP who understands lighting that works on my skin tone?” So it’s constantly being OK with asking the questions. And there is a bit of fear, like, “Am I going to be seen as difficult?” And yes, there are times where I’ve had someone say they’ve heard I was difficult, but usually, it’s because I’ve asked a question that will make for a better surrounding or a better show. And if I keep asking the questions and if other ladies like myself keep asking the questions, and we keep trying to better our spaces, it just becomes the norm — because at some point it has to just become the norm.

Elizabeth, I believe you had a saying in your house growing up, “No is a full sentence.” When do you find you use it?

OLSEN I use it a lot. (Laughs.) I use it when I’m on set. I mean, I want to be a part of every department when I’m on set. I want to understand the schedule. I want to understand everything. I produced a TV show [Sorry for Your Loss] that didn’t get too much light of day because it was on Facebook, which, whatever … but as a producer on it, it was really important for me to be a voice of everything you’re saying, Cynthia, and have heads of departments feel like and look like the freakin’ world. And just from having a taste of that for two seasons, I can’t [go back]. So when I go to do Dr. Strange 2 in England, I guess I use it when I just can’t shake it even though [the production is] so much bigger than me. I don’t know, my opinions are vast and everyone hears them, from the first AD to the EP. I think I’m like a representative of anyone having a hard time on set. … (Laughs.)

PAULSON You’re the Equity rep, I love it.

OLSEN Oh my God. (Laughter.)

When you think about your careers, is there someone else’s that you look at and go, “Ooh, yeah, I’d love that”?

OLSEN Gillian’s, Sarah’s …

ERIVO Yeah, Sarah, you’re that for me. You’re fucking incredible.

PAULSON You saying that to me makes me want to cry because sometimes you feel like you’re doing this in a bubble and you don’t even know if anything you’re doing ever has any meaning or impact to anyone.

ERIVO It does. From my heart, it does. And I hope I get to work with you one day.

PAULSON I’d give my eyeteeth. (Laughs.) For me, it’s Gillian — somebody being on a TV program for a long time that’s wildly successful and then retreats to another country to be onstage, to reconnect yourself to the very things that inspired you and made you want to be a part of this. It all gets very confusing in terms of how to navigate [this business]because you do want to make a living, but you also want to follow your heart. And there does come a time where you can become quite depleted from the constant output without any input. And if you’re a woman of a certain age, which I certainly am, I feel like I’ve got one foot on one window frame and I’ve got the other one over here and I’m just trying to insist that they stay open for as long as possible. And some of that is beyond my control, but when I look at Gillian’s career I just go, “Well, I want that.”

ANDERSON Thank you for saying that. On the one hand, I feel like there is some degree of design, but I’ve also never really gone after things. And when I finished with X-Files, I didn’t know if I wanted to be on a set again ever. So aside from having grown up in the U.K. and wanting to go back, I knew it would take time before I could, if I was going to. And in London, you could move between theater and TV, and that was always my dream. But every actor has the thing that they’d want more than the thing that they have, and I’m a cinephile, and so I [wonder], “Why do I keep doing TV? All I want to do is do film.” And I’m still doing TV. (Laughs.) But I’ve had such amazing opportunities that, coming from Scully, I even questioned people, like, “Why are you offering this to me? What makes you think that I can do this?” I’ll also say that as soon as you have kids, kids are the priority. So, I say to people, “I’m gonna be such a pain in the ass for you to hire. But if you think I’m this person, I’m gonna need to work during this period of time and then have time with my kids. And it’s going to be expensive for you. If you are willing to do that, then I’m your girl, and if you’re not, you need to find somebody else.”

Anya, Queen’s Gambit became a global juggernaut. How have your opportunities and choices changed? Is there pressure to strike while the iron is hot?

TAYLOR-JOY I think I’ve always followed character and only recently did I start following directors as well, but it’s always been about, “Do I feel like I’m the right person to tell this story? Do I think I can tell this story correctly?” And if you look at something like Queen’s Gambit, it was not supposed to be the white-hot show; it’s a show about a girl that plays chess for seven hours, but I felt so compelled to tell that story. So, it sounds cheesy, but I really just keep following my heart. OK, wait, I take that back. Something I’m also learning is that you give yourself to this person for three to six months, and I never used to think about this before, but now I start thinking, “Am I ready to give up my life for this person? Do I need to tell this story so badly that I’m going to do that?” I try not to think about what other people will think, because it’s your life at the end of the day. And as we all know, you’re that [character] every hour of the day, and when you go home it’s difficult to let go of them, so you have to really love them.

Mj, you’ve talked about how significant this show was for you and for the visibility of the trans community. How have the opportunities being presented to you post-Pose changed?

RODRIGUEZ In the middle of the third season, I started figuring out my worth, and it’s scary. I was nervous. I didn’t expect to actually book my next job after Pose.

ERIVO I did.

PAULSON We all did.

RODRIGUEZ And see, that’s my insecurity and that’s something I have to fix. I didn’t think it was possible. To get an opportunity like Pose and have myself centered in the story and to end it with hope, and then to get another opportunity with an iconic actress [an Apple TV+ comedy co-starring Maya Rudolph] was surreal. But if I’m still feeling the need for protection as far as my Blackness, my Latina-ness and my trans-ness go, that means there is more work to be done.

Are there doors still not open to the rest of you? Parts you’d love to play if only Hollywood would see you that way?

PAULSON No one has asked me to do a comedy, and I’m a little frustrated about that.

ERIVO And you’re funny as fuck.

PAULSON I spend a lot of time in these worlds where I’m either running or crying or screaming or playing a real person and trying to get their physicality, and I’d really like to do a nice road picture with me and a couple of chicks.

ANDERSON Ooh, I’ll go with you!

PAULSON How about all of us just in a road movie — like, get a Winnebago and let’s go?

ERIVO I’m down.

RODRIGUEZ Yeah, count me in.

ANDERSON I’m 53, Sarah, and I’ve really only been offered comedy in the last three years of my life, and I don’t think that’s because I’m any funnier than I used to be. I think a lot of it is that people just couldn’t fathom it, whether it was that Scully was still in their minds or it was someone else, because I’ve played a lot of dark characters, too. And so they just weren’t coming. And then came [Netflix comedy] Sex Education — and I passed when it first came to me because I didn’t think it was right. It was my partner who proverbially dug it out of the trash.

ERIVO I’ve yet to see a Call Me by Your Name for a Black woman, I have yet to see a piece that allows a woman of color to be sensual and soft and loving and be loved. I’ve just not seen it, and I desperately want to experience that, just because I want to be able to be in that space of vulnerability and lilt. I really want to do that. And that hasn’t come my way. A comedy hasn’t come my way either.

RODRIGUEZ Same. It’s been so hard when it comes to trans women being loved in a sensual way, and I’d love to do something like that.

Elizabeth and Anya, to Sarah’s point, Hollywood likes to keep actors in a lane. How have you avoided that kind of pigeonholing in your careers to date?

TAYLOR-JOY I’ve been saved from a lot of things in my life from pure innocence and naivete, genuinely. My first movie was called The Witch, I got a script immediately afterward that was about, you guessed it, a witch, and I figured, “Wow, why do they want to see me do this again?” So, I was immediately like, “Can I not do anymore witch movies, please?” And my agent was like, “OK. Sure, whatever you say.” I wonder how many people agree with me here because I certainly want to please, but in order to please, I don’t have to give up myself, and actually it’s more important to please myself than it is to please anybody else. I’m giving my heart, my body, my soul, everything to this character, I’m not going to do something because somebody wants me to do it. That doesn’t make any sense and, also, it makes me miserable and then I can’t do my best work. And so if I feel the opportunities that are being given to me aren’t the right ones, then I have to stick my neck out and go, “Hey, I think I could maybe do this, if you’ll give me the opportunity to try.”

How about you, Elizabeth?

OLSEN [In the beginning,] I was just trying so hard to not be put in a box that that’s what was guiding my choices. I knew that I didn’t want to be an actor who was thought of as “youthful and beautiful” and whatever that attachment people like to put onto young women, and so I did everything in my power not [to be seen as] that. But I didn’t have my own pillars of why I wanted to do things beyond just the character. That started to solidify only in the last five years. So I made a lot of odd decisions [after theater school at NYU] because I didn’t know enough about film and the machine of it. Right, Sarah? You were there for that time. We were in Martha Marcy May Marlene, and I remember someone asked me, “You had Sarah Paulson with you, didn’t you know it could be a film people saw?” And I was like …

PAULSON You were like, “Who the fuck is Sarah Paulson?” (Laughter.)

OLSEN No, but independent cinema to me was just, like, going to Quad Cinema in New York and seeing a movie. The theater world is all I understood. So I feel like a moron for going back to theater only once in 10 years. And this conversation with Gillian right now is inspiring.

In light of Elizabeth’s concern about the trap of being perceived as “youthful and beautiful,” how would you all complete this sentence: I wish our male counterparts also had to …

OLSEN Deal with lighting and hair and makeup before doing press. I don’t know what I’m doing.

ERIVO Deal with people believing that you’ve lost your sexuality after the age of 30.

TAYLOR-JOY Had an understanding of what it was like to walk into a room and sometimes have to enforce yourself for people to take you seriously. That ability to just walk into a room and go, “I am valid, I own my space and everybody respects me” — it would be good if they knew what it was like to not have that.

ERIVO And on the flip side, to not have to deal with walking into the room and trying to make sure people aren’t scared of you when you get there.

What do you all know now that you wish you could have told yourself at the beginning of your career?

PAULSON I would like to have told myself that I didn’t need to excise myself from the experience. I was very focused on looking at other actors who had careers that I admired when I was first starting out and wondering what it was about them that made it possible for them to be chosen or employed and I’d often try, in an audition or a social setting, to mimic what I imagined was the desired effect, taking me out of the scenario. And there’s this beautiful Martha Graham-to-Agnes de Mille letter that I used to keep in a dressing room any time I was doing a play, about how there is only one you in all of time and space and that what you see and how you experience things is unique to you. And if you block it, the world will not have it. And as a young person, I thought, “Mute me, mute my opinions, my thoughts, my assessments and try to fill it with other things,” and now I think it’s the exact opposite, so I wish I had known that earlier. But I’ll take knowing it now [over] never knowing it at all.

RODRIGUEZ I would have told my younger self that my existence is worth it. When I was younger, I tried to fit into this mold of what a woman should do — you know, keep your legs crossed, always bow down to a man. But we don’t have to live in that world anymore. It’s a new day.

It is, and that’s a good place to end. Thank you all for sharing your time and your stories.

ERIVO I know we’re supposed to finish, but do you know what’s occurred to me as I’ve listened to every one of you? I remember where I was when I watched every single one of you — and I remember what I was dealing with or going through. I was watching you, Sarah, when I was shooting Aretha. I was watching you, Elizabeth, when I was in London on my own, and you, Anya, when I was in Atlanta. Mj, I remember watching a season of Pose while I was shooting The Outsider. And Gillian, I watched you when I was in a hotel with my partner outside of London. And I remember what happened. And so your performances aren’t just brilliant, your performances get to be Post-its in all of our lives, and so I thank you for that.

PAULSON That’s a very beautiful way to put it …

ANDERSON It also brings us back full circle to what Anya said at the beginning, which is, “Oh my God, I have to keep reminding myself that people are going to watch this.” But actually, thank God that people are watching it, because we’ve touched each other’s lives and numerous other people’s lives just by focusing on the thing that we love most.

TAYLOR-JOY And the importance of these conversations is the honesty, because it’s very easy for us to get locked into our own heads of this as an individual experience — “There’s something wrong with me,” or “Everybody else is doing really great and nobody else grieves their characters,” or whatever your version of that is in whatever industry you’re in. But having honest conversations with people who are willing to be vulnerable just makes me feel so much less alone.

PAULSON The next time you feel that way, text me. I’ll remind you. I’d also like to say that there’s this [perception] of women being pitted against one another and not being there for one another, and this conversation is diametrically opposed, in that what we are actually saying is that each of us has been buoyed by and inspired by the work of everyone here. So, I may not watch anything I do, but I sure as hell am watching all of you.

Press: “It’s a New Day”: THR Drama Actress Roundtable was originally published on Elizabeth Olsen Source • Your source for everything Elizabeth Olsen

[imagineaworlds]

I Love You (Part Forty-Five) -- Aaron Hotchner

Written By: @desperately-bisexual

Request: None.

Warnings: SMUT!! Cursing. Dom/sub relationship. Sir kink. Sex toy. Brat taming. Bondage (ropes). Forced orgasms. Overstimulation. Oral sex (male receiving). Dom dropping.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Word Count: 11,148

Timeline: Season 6 Episode 24. Three months after part forty-four.

Hotch was always gone nowadays. Between work and running errands for the three of us always stuck at home, he was just too busy to sit and relax. I missed him. I missed us, specifically, and how we used to spend every second together, and how good we were together at work. I missed work. I missed driving to Quantico every day or getting on the jet for a thousand different cases. I missed the bullpen, the roundtable room, Garcia’s office, my desk, throwing papers at Morgan’s head as he worked across from me, or teasing Reid, whose desk was across the aisle from mine. Everyone knew that I was anxious to get back— Hotch most of all. I loved our daughter more than anything in the world, but I loved work just as much. I understood now how Hotch felt about Jack.

“Elle was antsy to get back to work after Garner,” Hotch would always tell me whenever I would sneak into the office to look at some of the cases sitting on his desk. I jumped in my own skin as he caught me snooping. “You Greenaways are all the same.” He laughed and snatched me away from the office, practically carrying me down to the bedroom so that we could cuddle while watching Emily sleep in her crib.

At least we got those moments. They were scarce, but we tried to make as much time as possible, even if most of that time was spent sleeping. When he wasn’t around, though, I still tried to include him as much as possible. It was hard for him to talk on the phone whenever he was gone on cases, but I still sent him pictures and videos of the kids to keep him updated, like when Jack held Emily in his arms the other day and he was making fart noises in her face in order to get her to laugh. He called me immediately after I sent the first video. His voice was shaking on the other end, and I knew that something was wrong, so I asked, and he told me that Haley never sent him videos of Jack when he was young. She sent him one, and after that, they stopped altogether. I realized in that moment that he was terrified that I was going to stop sending him videos of Jack and Emily, and he would end up missing out on everything in their lives, and then I would leave him the same way Haley left him. So, I kept sending them. Every chance I got, I was recording one or both of the kids and sending them straight to Hotch’s phone.

It had only been three months since Emily was born. Sometimes it felt like an eternity, other times it felt like time was passing by too fast. When Hotch wasn’t around, it felt like time was moving at a turtle-like pace where I spent every waking moment counting the seconds until he would come home; but then, when he would be there, holding me in my arms, it felt like it came and went with a snap of my fingers. I wished I could have switched time. I wished that I could have just spent an eternity in his arms, not worrying about when I would see him next or if he would even come home.

I suddenly jolted awake when I heard Emily crying in her crib. “Shit.”

Hotch had called last night to tell me that they were finishing up a case and that he would be home soon, but his side of the bed was empty, and all of his stuff was untouched, which meant that he was going to be later than expected. So, that meant that I had to grab Emily and try to calm her down.

I sighed and sat upright. Emily continued to cry and shriek in her cradle until I leaned in to pick her up. As I cradled her in my arms, leaning back against the headboard so that I could close my eyes and rest for a little longer, I hummed a toon for her. Hotch’s favorite song was Blackbird by The Beatles. Since Emily had been born, he had been singing her to sleep with that very song every chance he could get. It seemed like it was the only way she could fall asleep now. I worried that the tradition and schedule was going to ruin her sleep patterns—and I guess I was right since she kept waking up throughout the night whenever he wasn’t there to sing to her. I kept trying to hum for her, despite that.

I was half asleep when she started calming down. I decided that putting her back down in the cradle wasn’t going to help—and even if it would, I was too tired to move. Having a baby was exhausting. With Hotch gone so often, I was having to endure these long nights alone, and the house was so quiet during the day that it sent a shiver up my spine, not to mention I was so bored whenever Emily would be put down for a nap in the middle of the day and I couldn’t call Hotch because he was busy. I couldn’t wait to get back to work. I knew that it didn’t make sense to do it just yet, but I was practically dying to get back. If anything, I’d ask to go back in a week or two. Hotch wouldn’t like the idea, but I was sick of sitting around with a sleeping baby all day while I was just drained. I needed a case. I needed something to keep my mind busy besides my daughter. As much as I loved her, I needed work, too.

“I could get used to this,” Hotch said. I opened my eyes while perking up to see him standing in the doorway, holding his go-bag in one hand and a bag of chocolates in the other. “Coming home to my gorgeous wife and our perfect daughter…” He set down his bag and hurried over to me on the bed so that he could kiss my forehead. He smelled like the jet. “I brought you your favorite chocolates from Seattle.”

“Mmm… Gimme.”

Just as I said it—not having even reached for them or anything along those lines—Emily started squirming and crying in my arms. There it was. Every time there was a bit of peace with Emily, she suddenly started losing it again. I couldn’t win. So, I sighed and slumped back again, ignoring the pleasant surprise Hotch had for me just so that I could try to focus a little more energy into dealing with my precious, perfect, miracle—No. The truth was, she was all of that, but she was also a little screamer, whiner, and… Oh, I loved her… I just had to remember that.

“Here, you take the candy, I take the baby,” Hotch said. He set the bag down between us, then reached to take Emily. “Oh, listen to our little singer.” He adjusted her in his arms with a bounce while standing up again so that he could bounce on his toes.

I opened the bag and took one piece of chocolate before setting the rest of them on my bedside table. “For the past four days,” which was how long he was gone for, “all I’ve done is change diapers and sit around, waiting for her to start crying again. Nothing helps.” Within an instant, Emily stopped crying, instead opting to start cooing and laughing at him. I rolled my eyes. “I hate you.”

“Mhm. I’m sure.” He shook his head at me and sat back down. “Listen, Jack used to cry every time I held him. No matter what I did, I just couldn’t seem to get him to calm down and love being in my arms. Even when he was already asleep and I’d pick him up just to hold him and admire him, he would suddenly wake up, as if he could tell that it was me, and he would immediately start crying. I hated it. The worst part was, every time Haley or Jessica would take him, he wouldn’t fuss a bit. I didn’t understand why. But now I’m on the other end of that deal, and I can tell you, Y/N, it’s nothing you’re doing or not doing. She’s just…” He smiled down at her. “I don’t know… But it’s nothing you can control, baby. I promise.”

I sighed. “One would think after carrying her around for nine months and then staying with her for the last three while you’ve been off at work, she would warm up to me, but nope.”

“She will eventually. We’ve got the next eighteen years at least with her. We’re going to be just fine.”

I smiled and snuggled up against his side, hiding my cold hands under his soft, warm shirt. His abs flexed against my freezing touch for a short moment before he relaxed and shuffled down on the bed somewhat so that I could rest my head on his shoulder, and he could kiss my hair. He inhaled deeply. Despite the fact that Emily didn’t like settling down in my arms anymore, at least we could afford to have little moments like these.

“Are you going to fall asleep again?” he inquired quietly, trying not to disturb me if I really was. I shook my head, though. “There’s something I need to tell you, then.” I hummed a question against him. “Cody and I had a meeting today.”

Uh oh. Personal meetings with the Director were never good during work hours. We had a friendly relationship with Cody, which allowed us to invite him over for dinner occasionally, and for our wedding ten months ago. But meetings during work were never good. Cody meant business while we were at Quantico, and him and Hotch liked challenging each other’s alpha personalities like it was fun for them or something.

“They’re making changes to the department again.”

I groaned, “I swear—”

“It’s okay. They’re just going to be contacting different people in the unit with different offers in order to consolidate their forces into other departments.”

“One of these days, I’m going to storm in there and ask why the hell he keeps sticking his nose in our business when we’ve been his best unit for at least the last ten years—or since you took over.”

“He’s getting pressure from the higher ups, baby. He’s doing his job, the same way we are. I’m just telling you this because if you’re approached by another department, you should tell me immediately.”

“I’m not going to leave the BAU, Aaron. I don’t care what deal it is someone has for me, I’m not leaving the one place that feels like home away from home. For the first time since I graduated high school, I feel like I have a purpose. People care what to hear what I have to say, people trust me, people love me, and people consider me family there. No offer can make me abandon my family.”

Hotch tensed in response to my words. “I think you should consider taking an offer in another department that doesn’t require you to travel as much,” he said quietly. I turned my cheek to look at him. “With Emily and Jack, our hands are so full, but we’ve been making it work because you’ve been at home. What happens when you’re back in the field?”

“Would you take the same job, if you were offered it?”

“Probably not.”

“Why?”

“Because I love the field.”

“Exactly.”

“Y/N…” he whispered in my ear, reaching over to lift my chin with his fingers. “You should really consider it. I don’t want you to get hurt out in the field.”

I put my hand over his. “Aaron, if there’s no pressure on you to stay home with the kids, and you just get to stay with the BAU because you love it, then I should be shown the same consideration.”

He kissed my cheek. “You’re right.”

“I know.”

He chuckled lightly. “I love you.”

“I love you.” I turned to look at him and kiss his lips slowly and passionately. And then his phone started ringing, making Emily squirm before letting out a cry that practically said: “Why have you awoken me from my slumber?!” I sighed. “Aaron—”

“I know, I know.” He passed Emily over to me gently before he started rolling off the bed so that he could answer the call in the hallway. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“I’ll be back in a sec.”

As he left the bedroom, I adjusted Emily in my arms, bouncing her lightly while cooing against her nose that everything would be alright. I was so done with the shrieking. Someday, I was going to give her a lot of shit for all of this yelling, crying, and pooping. She was going to hate the way I would inevitably tease her about it endlessly, but she was my daughter… my perfect baby girl… I wanted to remember her like this forever and always. When she was big, and maybe expecting a kid of her own one day, I’d tell her about how she kept me up night and day with her shrieking. This would all be a distant memory before I would even know it. I felt my heart break somewhat. I didn’t want her to get any bigger than this. Growing up meant that she would want to explore the world, and I knew just how cruel other people and places could be, and especially to innocent, precious little rays of sunshine like her. I didn’t want her to get hurt. Ever. I wanted to just keep her safe in my arms until the end of the time. I could do that, right? No… But I could cherish this for a little longer, at least.

“They need me in the office for something,” Hotch whispered to me while walking back in. I let my eyes fall shut in order to hide my disappointment. “Here…” He reached out for Emily, offering to help calm her down and put her in bed before he would leave. I let him. As he lifted her and rested her tiny torso against his shoulder, giving him a chance to pat her back while bouncing on his toes slowly, he started humming Black Bird for her. I smiled and slumped against the pillows. “I’ll call Jessica to see if she can stop by later to watch the kids so that you can rest for a bit,” he said after noticing how I was already out of it.

I nodded with my eyes still closed. “Thank you.”

Emily started calming down. Her cries and shrieks slowly turned into pants that turned into coos before she fell asleep in his arms. “And like that…” he whispered, “she’s out like a light.” I heard him shuffle to the crib so that he could set her down. Our bed shifted as he sat next to me. “Baby,” he put a hand on my thigh, “call me if she starts fussing again and your humming doesn’t work.” I nodded. “Y/N, I’ll stay, if you need.”

“No,” I insisted weakly. “Go. I’ll be fine. I just need to sleep.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Just… Aaron…” I opened my eyes to look at him. “Promise you’ll let me come back for the next case?”

He stared at me for a moment while registering what I said. When it dawned on him, he shook his head. “I can’t promise that.” He grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles. “I’ll see you later tonight. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I whispered, my eyes falling shut again.

Not even an hour later, however, Emily started crying again, and Hotch was already long gone again, leaving me to roll out of bed and lift her up into my arms. I didn’t bother trying to sing to her again. Apparently, that was Hotch’s thing, and I was stepping on his toes by making the futile attempt. So, I just sat there and cooed to her while heading downstairs to make some food for myself and also Jack who would be waking up in a few minutes to start playing video games and watching movies for the entire day. I smiled when she managed to fall asleep after feeding, giving me a chance to make myself a lazy breakfast.

When Jack woke up, he came running downstairs in his pajamas, he begged for me to grab the Cocoa Puffs from the top shelf in the pantry. Hotch and I had to put them up there because Jack was getting addicted to them. He was eating them 24/7. But, on occasion, especially when Hotch wasn’t around, I would let Jack have some. So, I carefully handed Emily over to him so that I could grab the box from the top shelf and pour a fair portion into a bowl for him.

Afterwards, when he had shoveled every single pebble into his mouth and then proceeded to slurp down all of the chocolate-y milk, he put the dish in the sink for me, like I asked, then scurried off to watch TV, like I assumed he would. Only, this time, I decided to join him. With Emily in my arms, I dragged my feet all the way from the kitchen to the living room, where I crashed on the couch. Jack turned on something from Cartoon Network. You know, Saturday morning cartoons. I had Emily sitting on my stomach, letting her little hands play with my fingers up until the point where she started trying to chew on them. I shook my head and kissed her cheeks. At least she wasn’t teething yet. JJ warned me that if I thought Emily’s cries and shrieks were bad now, I just had to wait and see how bad it would get within the next few months or so when Em would start teething. Shit. I was hardly getting sleep as it was, I couldn’t imagine it getting any worse.

Halfway through a cartoon, Emily fell asleep against me. Her little breaths slowly turned into hiccups, which made me laugh. JJ used to warn me all the time when I was pregnant that Emily could hiccup in the night, which would keep me up. I guess I got lucky, though, because she only hiccupped once, and it was while I was at work with Garcia. We were sitting in her office, waiting for the team to call for help or with an update. We were ridiculously bored. At some point, Garcia revealed that she had a huge tub of Twizzlers hiding under her desk. Together, we went through all of it, and I supposed that was the trigger for Em to start hiccupping non-stop. It wasn’t annoying, like JJ said it would be. No, it was funny. When it started, I jumped, thinking that something was wrong, but then Garcia started laughing when it kept happening, at which point we realized what was happening. That was the only time she ever hiccupped, though. I almost wished that it would have happened again while Hotch was home, just so that he could have laughed with us.

Finally, when she stopped hiccupping during the cartoons, my smile faded and my eyelids started getting too heavy to keep open. So, I did what felt natural… I slowly fell asleep with the glow of the TV in the room and dumb cartoon sounds ringing in my ears.

----

I woke to the sound of the front door opening. The TV was off, Jack long gone to go play soccer outside, it seemed by the way I could hear the soccer ball hitting the side of the house over and over again as he practiced his passing. I rolled my eyes. At least Emily was still asleep on my chest, no sign of waking up any time soon. The drool soaking my shirt was a downside, though.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Hotch whispered.

I shook my head. “It’s okay, baby.” But then I realized who it was that was standing there and why that was odd. I tilted my head in curiosity at him. “Wait…”

Since he had been called away so early and left in such a rush, I was sure that he was headed off on a case elsewhere in the states. Yet, there he was. Standing there in his suit—which he must have changed into either before leaving when I fell asleep, or maybe even when he got to the office if he didn’t want to disturb me—he smiled shortly at me. At first, I didn’t think anything about it. I figured that we were both just tired, and he was probably busy, so I didn’t ponder on his short, yet still sweet, smile that he sent me, and I reciprocated.

“You’re home early.”

“Yeah…” He sounded like his mind was elsewhere.

“Is everything alright, my love?”

“Has anyone called with an open position?”

I furrowed my brows. “No.” Why was he asking?

Hotch swallowed hard before moving to approach the couch and sit down beside me, offering to take Emily from my arms. I watched him curiously. He was being awfully quiet for someone who just got home and would usually shower me in kisses and a thousand different ways for him to tell me he loved me. But he seemed like something awful was weighing on his mind, which was so concerning to me.

“Baby, I’m gonna have to go,” he admitted quietly to me while looking down at Emily. “I’m so sorry.”

I shrugged and smiled with relief. “Okay, so you have another case. I’ll see you in a few days.”

Hotch didn’t say anything. He kept his gaze glued to Emily as she played with his finger using both of her tiny hands. Something wasn’t right. If Hotch was being sent on another case, he wouldn’t have come home, especially not early. He would have stayed at the office and he would’ve just called me to tell me that he wouldn’t be coming home for a few days. This was different. He was acting differently.

Emily kicked against his elbow as she continued to wrestle with his finger. I cooed her quiet before looking back up at Hotch. “What is it?”

He lifted his gaze to meet mine. “They’re sending me to the Middle East to lead a task force.”

My heart sank in my chest. I let out a breath of disbelief then hid my face in my hands. A task force in the Middle East? What was he talking about? The BAU didn’t handle things like this— especially if it were just him. He warned me that morning about the possibility of reassignments, but I didn’t think this was what he had in mind, and I thought that we were going to talk about it before either of us accepted or declined any kind of offer that would be thrown our way. We just had a baby, and now he was being sent on a mission that was going to leave me alone for months? I didn’t know how to do any of this on my own. I wanted to go back to the BAU desperately, but that was because I was confident that between Hotch, Jessica, and I, we could balance it all. Jessica was struggling to keep up with Jack and Emily as it was… I couldn’t imagine what would happen if Hotch left. There was a strong chance that I wouldn’t even get to go back to the BAU if this actually happened. That didn’t feel fair. Why did I have to give up my dream so that he could lead a task force that he didn’t even want anything to do with? Or… did he want this and he just never told me? If so, when did he decide that it was something he was interested in pursuing, and why the fuck did he not tell me? It suddenly all made sense to me why Haley always got so frustrated with him. Our family was right there in D.C. and Virginia, and he wanted to tuck tail and run off to who knew where in the Middle East. 

“Don’t do this to me, Aaron… Please…” I lifted my head away from my hands so that I could look at him again. He seemed so sad to be leaving, but he wasn’t doing anything to prevent it. This was an opportunity, not an order. He could have turned it down whenever. “I can’t do this alone.”

“I’ve already talked to Jessica. She’s offered to move in until—”

I scoffed. “So, you’ve already made up your mind and talked to Jessica about it before you talked to your own wife.” I shook my head.

How could he do this? At first, I was distraught because I couldn’t bear the thought of being away from him for so long, especially while our daughter was only three months old, which wasn’t old enough for him to be away from her. He was the only one who could get her to sleep nowadays. The only one. No matter how much I tried, I just couldn’t get it to happen. I couldn’t do it all alone… I had never spent so much time away from him before Emily, but at least I knew that he was coming back to me every case. Now, I didn’t know anything.

I grabbed his face between my hands and turned his cheek to make him look right at me, though he was fighting to still look away. I was going to make him face this. If he was going to make a decision like this, he had to at least look me in the eye as we talked about it. I pouted at him. “Please stay,” I begged.

He let out a shaky breath. “I can’t.”

“Please.” Shouldn’t that have been enough? Shouldn’t his wife begging him to stay with his family been enough to convince him to never leave again?

“I can’t… The decision’s already been made. I’m leaving in a week…”

I hit at his shoulders roughly, a choked back sob finally escaping me. A fucking week. I was going to lose my everything in a week, and there seemed to be nothing I could do to stop it. Was this fate? Were we always destined to fall apart like this? The worst thought I had in that moment was, what would Haley have done if she were still around and in my shoes? Maybe she would have taken this chance to leave him. Honestly, if she were still alive, I probably would have run to her, of all people, and asked what to do; even though I already assumed that she would tell me that it was time to leave him. But I didn’t want to. I loved him more than anything, and I didn’t want to have to leave him just because he was leaving us. That didn’t seem entirely fair.

“How long will you be gone?”

“I’m unsure.”

“What will you be doing there?”

“It’s classified.”

I chuckled. “Of course it is.”

“Baby, you know that I wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.”

“Is that what you told Haley before you left for that last case before she decided to leave you?”

“Y/N,” he growled with a bitter tone.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized.

I knew that was wrong of me. I knew that bringing that up was unfair. Hotch and I always promised to fight for each other, even if it meant fighting with each other from time to time. Haley never gave Hotch the same courtesy. That was why she left and why I wouldn’t. Maybe Hotch should have thought about that before taking this offer in the first place. This offer… How could he beg me to tell him if someone called me with an offer, but he didn’t tell me first when he got an offer and before accepting it? I was so pissed… I couldn’t even bear to sit with him any longer. I knew that if I stayed on that couch with him, my anger was only going to grow, and I was inevitably going to hate him. Not on my watch, though. I just needed time to let this blow over so that I could try talking him out of it again later.

I took Emily from him without asking. Hotch hesitated for a moment, practically reaching out for her again before she was even out of his arms. I shook my head at him. “Maybe you should go talk to your son about why he won’t have a dad for a while.” I stood and left the room with that last stinging line.

----

The next morning, I was still angry. I think yesterday was spent sprinting between depression and denial over and over again while trying to find some kind of acceptance in between, but there was none. So, I woke up in the morning to find Hotch still resting peacefully, as if nothing were wrong, and I was mad. I was fucking pissed. He had fucked up a handful of times in the past—just like everyone else—but this was probably the worst. It felt like we were approaching the end. With our newborn in the cradle next to our bed and our son just down the hallway, I knew that it couldn’t be the end. It just couldn’t. But how was I supposed to believe that when he was going to be gone? We were going to both be alone on opposite sides of the world…

Perhaps there was one thing, however, that could remind him of why he married me. Maybe it would even be enough to convince him to stay. But I couldn’t do it while Jack was around. Saturdays were Jack’s relaxing days, then Sundays were his homework days, which meant that he was going to be working down in the dining room all day, which was too open for us. So, it had to wait until Monday. The good news was, that on Monday morning, I was still just as pissed as I was on Sunday. In fact, probably more so now. Yesterday, while I was sitting with Jack to help him with his homework, Hotch didn’t ever approach us. He didn’t ask to talk to me, he didn’t talk to Jack, and he didn’t even sit down to spend time with us or eat meals with us. Fucking ridiculous.

So, while Hotch was dropping Jack off at school, I started preparing my plan. At least, the first half of it, because the rest of it required Hotch to actually be there. When I was ready, I carefully lifted Emily out of her cradle and carried her to her own room to sleep, just in case. Then, I heard the door open. I rolled my shoulders back to fix my posture, as if I were suddenly dawning a new persona, and then I headed downstairs.

“Jessica called, Y/N,” Hotch said from the front door, meanwhile I was still on the stairs, “she said she’s going to be traveling next month, so she won’t be able to look after the kids. We might have to think about getting a nanny since you’re going to be heading back to—” He stopped when he saw me turn the corner. “I…” He chuckled to himself. “What’s this for?”

“Not you.” I turned away from him, the short skirt of my dress flaring up somewhat, revealing how I wasn’t wearing any panties.

I spent most of the morning walking around in that dress, bending down in front of him every chance I got, reaching up for things like the clean towels in the closet or a book up on the highest shelf in the living room. Hotch was silent about it at first. Then, he started testing the waters to see if I was really being bratty or just obvious. He learned quick that I was being bratty. When he asked if I could grab the laundry, I simply said, “No.” When he asked if I wanted any breakfast, I said, “No,” and walked away. Around ten, he asked me if I wanted him to pick up Jack from school later, and all I said was, “I don’t care.”

Next thing I knew, Hotch stormed across the room, held his hand out, and then he pressed his grip against my neck as he pushed me and against the wall. I gasped for air. It didn’t seem to matter, though, because Hotch only squeezed tighter, and he pressed his thigh between my legs. He glared at me. His eyes searching mine, I could see the hints of anger and lust brewing inside of him, something that she was trying to hide, to no avail.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he growled.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? Nothing, what?”

“Nothing, Aaron.” I was testing him. He huffed before moving his grip around the back of my neck so that he could start leading me towards the bedroom. “No, wait— Aaron—” I started playfully struggling against him because I didn’t really want to escape from him. At least, not yet. “Baby, I’m sorry!”

Hotch didn’t respond to me. He just opened the door angrily, then led me to the bed with him, still careful to ensure that I wouldn’t trip or hurt myself on my way there. As we approached the end of the bed, Hotch pressed on the back of my neck with his palm, forcing my face down onto the mattress. I hissed at the feeling. When I tried to stand up straight, Hotch increased his strength, pinning me down. I finally gave in, my knees buckling in response to the way his aggressiveness made me embarrassingly wet. But before I could get too comfortable, Hotch made another move. While he grabbed my wrists in order to spread my wingspan across the width of the bed, he also kicked his foot between my ankles with a short and stern demand to spread my legs.

When he was sure that I wasn’t going to budge, he carefully stepped away from me, then moved towards the closet. Shit. Shit, fuck, shit, shit, fuck—Hotch had been so careful with me since we found out that I was pregnant. We hadn’t used the black box since the honeymoon. Of course, since having Emily, it was hard to find time here and there to actually get to all of the fun stuff in the box. I mean, there was hardly any time for us to fuck at all—but we managed to find time since it was an important part of our lives and our relationship, and we knew it. But this… I didn’t think he was going to snap like this.

“Do honorifics mean nothing to you now, brat?” he hissed while pulling out two length of ropes.

“I said I’m sorry!”

He leaned down to whisper in my ear, “Stop speaking out of turn,” as he took my left wrist and looped the rope around it. “Got it?” I nodded. He chuckled at how I caught sight of the trap before it could catch me. He kissed my shoulders. “We’ll use Colors.” I nodded again, knowing that he was probably on edge, too, considering this was the first time we were using ropes in a long time. After roughly tying my left wrist to one of the bedposts, he said, “Color, baby girl.”

“Green.”

“You’ll tell me if it’s Red?”

“Yes, Sir.”

With the reassurance, Hotch moved towards my other wrist, which he tied to the other bedpost. “Maybe you’ll learn your lesson this way.” Suddenly, he flicked the skirt of my dress up, leaving me entirely exposed to him. I gulped. “Stay like that.”

He stepped away from me to grab something else from the black box, but I couldn’t hear what it was until it was too late. He pressed a vibrator right against my clit. My legs buckled again, the mattress and the ropes barely catching me. When I tried to close my thighs around the toy to try and grind against it, or maybe even to escape it, Hotch pressed his legs between my knees to make sure that I wasn’t going anywhere.

“Don’t even think about cumming, slut.”

“Fuck,” I cursed under my breath while hiding my face in the covers.

“Brats don’t get to cum.” He started moving the toy up and down my slit, making sure that every sensitive part of me felt the full force of the vibrations. “I’m gonna keep it right here,” he pressed it directly against my clit again, “and if you cum, things will only get worse. Got it?” I whimpered. He grabbed my hair and pulled me up roughly. “I asked you a question.”

“Yes, Sir.”

He let go of me and turned up the speed of the toy. I cried out somewhat and tugged at my restraints as hard as I could, as if it would help make him stop. Even if I escaped, he wasn’t going to stop. He would inevitably just pin me down himself and make sure that I stayed there the way he wanted, taking what he had to give me. Fuck. My stomach was already twisting into a knot. I felt so out of practice with all of this. My stamina was suffering the most, which meant that my orgasm was already approaching, and it was going to be damn near impossible to hold back.

“Sir, may I cum, please?” I begged before I could get too close to the edge.

“No.”

I cried against the comforter. “Please.”

“I said, no.”

I tensed my stomach as much as I could in an attempt to stop myself from getting any closer to cumming than I already was. “Please, please, please…” the plea kept escaping me without thinking. I knew that it wasn’t going to do any good. I knew that he was probably grinning behind me while watching me struggle against the ropes that were keeping my arms spread, and at how I was wiggling my hips in protest—even though it was probably just making the stimulation worse. “Sir,” I choked out, “I can’t—”

“Hold it.”

But I couldn’t hold it back any longer. My legs shook as I tipped over the edge, my orgasm washing through me ten times harder than I had anticipated, making me scream into the mattress. Before I even came down, though, Hotch shoved two of his fingers into me and curled them right into my g-spot. I struggled again. It was too painful to keep going, but Hotch didn’t care. I had cum without permission, especially after being a brat all day, and that was a big no-no. Not that he didn’t expect this outcome. He knew exactly what game it was that he was playing by denying my orgasm and then proceeding to force it out of me, anyhow. He was hoping that I would break the rule. He was counting on my broken down stamina betraying me during the one scene where I needed it to help me out the most; because no he had every reason in the world to make my life a living hell.

“Did that feel good? Hmm?” he asked.

“Yes, Sir.”

“It felt good to break my rule and cum without permission?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“It won’t feel good in a few minutes.”

My eyes widened as I glanced back up at the wall. “No, please, wait—”

“Color.”

“Green,” I answered reluctantly. As much as I hated the thought of what was in store, Hotch hadn’t actually crossed a line with me yet.

Hotch kept the vibrator pressed against me, ignoring the way I was still trying to close my legs and pull against the ropes, and that was when his fingers started thrusting in and out of me at an unrelenting pace. “You want to cum, huh? Fine… Cum. I’m not going to stop.”

My knuckles turned white against the ropes as I kept pulling as hard as I could. “I’m sorry, Sir. Please.”

“Are you sorry? Walking around in this dress all day… Teasing me… How did you think this was going to end?”

“I— Fuck—” I stopped myself when he added another finger inside of me. “Please, I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t believe you.”

I made an attempt to buck my hips away from the touch of the toy and his fingers, but he moved with me and then pressed harder to make sure I wouldn’t budge. I was too sensitive to keep going. I probably had another orgasm in me, but that was all, considering how out of practice we were with this stuff. If he tried to go any longer than that—

“Fuck!” I cried, shaking against his touch. “Please!”

“Cum,” he demanded when he felt me tighten my walls around him. I shook my head. “Do it. You said it felt good, so do it again.” I kept shaking my head in protest, but my body had decided that his words were enough to convince me to tip over the edge, so I came again, this time with a little less force considering how tired I was getting. “Poor baby…” he cooed when he saw me shaking helplessly.

“Please…” I whispered. “I can’t…”

“You don’t get to tease me and think that there won’t be a punishment in store for you, slut. You know the rules.”

“I was just mad…” I croaked. Hotch slowed his fingers and turned down the toy somewhat. “I just wanted to keep you here. I’m sorry…”

He turned the toy off and carefully slid his fingers out of my wet entrance. “Are you dropping?”

I shook my head, but Hotch was already working on untying me. “I was just mad,” I repeated. I was just mad and thought that I had to do something to make him mad, too… I was just mad…

----

Despite what we had done, I still wasn’t over Hotch’s decision, or the arguments that we were having. I was sore from straining my muscles, and my mind was exhausted. So, I was really just done with being around him constantly. I needed a break, and I figured that the best way to do so was by texting Morgan to see if he wanted to grab some lunch with me, and when I got the go ahead from him, I slid out of bed, got dressed into something more appropriate, and headed out without saying anything to Hotch.

When I arrived at the restaurant, I turned off my phone so that I could give Morgan all of my attention. I approached the hostess’ table to tell them that I was meeting someone. They grabbed a menu for me before leading me through the dining room and to the back door where the patio was open since it was such a nice day out.

“They live!” Morgan cheered from the table across the patio. I smiled and hurried over to him, my arms out to catch him in a hug after he stood. “It’s so good to see you, baby cakes.”

I squeezed his neck as tight as I could. “Freedom’s nice.”

He laughed and released me. “I’m sure.” He pulled a chair at the table out for me, then pushed it in under me slowly as I sat down. “How’s my goddaughter?”

“Always crying.”

“I told you I’d take her today.”

“You had her yesterday.”

“For an hour.”

“You know what, next time, she can just sleepover at your house with you and Clooney, and you can get up every time she throws a fit,” I joked.

“Deal.”

I squinted at him before glancing down at the menu to consider what I wanted. The thought struck me that if Hotch were really leaving, then we were probably going to have to get a nanny, like Hotch said when he came home from dropping Jack off at school, but it would also be nice to have Derek’s help. He always offered, after all. There were a handful of times over the past few months where he kept asking to take Emily to the park, or to introduce her to Clooney—which was a big no-no with me right now since he was such a big dog—and so on. Maybe it wasn’t too far out for me to ask if he’d be willing to help out just a bit. I mean, I didn’t mean that he had to constantly be there or answer my calls every time, but… Since she had been born, Morgan had been hanging out with Emily every Sunday that he was in town, so maybe he’d be interested in hanging out with her more often than just Sundays. Then again, he had his own life. He was still in his playboy phase, so it was unlikely that he wanted to carry a baby around all the time. Though, babies were chick magnets… Hmm…

“Something’s on your mind,” he finally said.

I looked at him. “What?”

“You’ve been staring at the menu.”

“Yeah, ‘cause I’m thinking about what I’m going to get.”

“Mhm. Hey, remember that conversation we had when we talked about how I always know when something’s wrong with you? Yeah… I remember. And it’s still true. So, tell me.”

I sighed angrily, slamming the menu shut, and set it on the table while rolling my eyes. Not at him, of course, but just in general. “Did Hotch tell you that the Director is trying to rearrange the BAU’s funds again?”

“Yeah. He warned the team that we might get offers.”

“Did you?”

“I was offered Kate’s spot at the New York Field Office again.”

“Are you gonna take it?”

Derek immediately shook his head. “No. I love where we are too much. Besides, NYC is too dirty and smelly for me.” Yeah, well, the Middle East was all dirt and sand… Maybe Hotch should have considered that aspect, too. “Y/N,” he began warily, “did you take an offer?”

“No…” I croaked, looking down at the napkin on my lap.

“Did Hotch?”

My lip quivered as I nodded.

Morgan sighed. “What is he—” He stopped when the waiter came over with our drinks. “Thanks.” When the waiter was gone, Morgan continued, “What was the offer?”

“A task force in the Middle East. The rest of it is ‘classified’, apparently.” I shook my head in disappointment while picking up my drink.

Morgan eyed me carefully but didn’t say anything yet. He was waiting for me to find the words to describe how it was that I was feeling about the whole situation, but the truth was that there were no words. I knew that I was angry, I knew that I was depressed, and I knew that I was going to be very lonely for a while because of how this was making me feel and react. I was lashing out at Hotch, and that wasn’t the right thing to do. Some part of me understood that. Some tiny, little piece of my mind was screaming at me to do better, to support Hotch like I normally would because I didn’t want to turn into Haley; but reality took the wheel instead of reason. The reality was that Hotch was leaving his family at a time when he needed to be around more. I just had a baby, our daughter was so young that she still needed her father around, and Jack needed reassurance from his father that he wasn’t being forgotten. But Hotch had decided to run from all of that. He made the choice to leave, and so I got angry, and I wanted him to fucking know it. Not that it would help.

“I don’t know what to do,” I admitted. “Is it weird that I just want to go numb?”

“No.”

“Then, why can’t I?”

“Because you know in your heart that you have to solve this—if not for your relationship, then for yourself. I know you, Greenaway, and you don’t like leaving pieces of your life unresolved. Whatever the decision ends up being, I know that you’ll at least end up feeling at peace with it eventually because you’ll know that you did all you could.”

“I want him to stay.”

“What does your life look like if he doesn’t?”

“Dark.”

“No. I mean, really, what would your life look like? How would you make it work, because I know for damn sure that you’re not going to give up on him.”

I hated it when he got all wise on me because that was when he started to make the most sense. “I—”

“Alright. What can I get for you two?” the waiter said while speeding over to our table and flipping his notepad open.

After we ordered and turned in our menus, he hurried away, and I looked at Morgan again.

“Realistically, Jessica would have to help out more, which isn’t fair of me to ask of her, even though, apparently, she’s offered to move in with us while he’s gone. I just don’t want to do that to her. But Hotch was right when we talked on Saturday about it. He’s going to be gone and I’m going to be busy with work. There’s no one around who can rush home if Jack or Emily suddenly need something important. Like, I can’t just drop a case because of it, you know? When Hotch and I were working together, it was easy because one of us could stay at work while the other ran home. But now… That’s not an option anymore. So, realistically, my life is going to boil down to family or work, not family and work.”

“And you don’t want to have to make that choice.”

“Of fucking course not. I’ve been dying to get back to work, Derek. I can’t stay holed up in the house any longer, I swear.”

“So, you need an extra pair of hands,” he said, almost like he was alluding to something.

My eyes widened at the realization. “No—”

“—Yes—”

“—Absolutely not!”

“Why not, pudding?”

I squinted at the nickname. “Because you have a dog, a line of girls waiting to fuck you, and your own life to worry about.”

“Well, Clooney can either stay downstairs all the time because you guys got those godforsaken baby gates—” Yeah, we all hated those because we kept forgetting that they were there, so we kept tripping, but then it was also ridiculously hard to open them while juggling a baby in one hand and trying to get the lock undone with the other— “Or, he can stay with a friend.”

“So, we do musical chairs, but with our babies. You get Emily, and your friend gets Clooney?”

���Why not?”

I shook my head. “I can’t believe…” I started laughing.

“Listen, Y/N, I really want to help out. You’re my best friend, and Hotch means a lot to me—and I know how much this opportunity means to him—and Emily’s my goddaughter, so, of course, I want to help out as much as I can. It’s not a big deal. Please, let me help.”

I stopped laughing long enough to gauge just how serious he was. His posture was still straight and unchanged, his eyes were soft like he was pleading, and his breathing was steady, which meant that there was no hint of an act or a lie. He was being serious. When I thought about asking him to help out here and there earlier, I didn’t anticipate this would be the outcome. But how could I say no? I mean, even if I did, it wouldn’t have made a difference. Derek Morgan was going to jump every obstacle between him and Emily until I would inevitably just give in to his offer; so, why not just make it easy for him?

“Okay.”

He smiled. “Okay.”

----

When I arrived home, a smile still on my face as I recalled a stupid joke Morgan cracked during lunch, I set my stuff on the table next to the door and hung up my jacket on the coat rack. The house was dark, which was… peculiar. It was Monday evening, which meant that Jack should have been running around or doing his homework downstairs. And there was no hint of Emily crying. Peculiar. Where had everyone gone?

That was when I turned into the living room to see Hotch sitting there, facing the TV, which was off. Odd. I carefully approached him in case he was holding Emily in his arms and she managed to fall asleep. But once I got close enough, I realized that he was just sitting there. He was staring at the wall.

“Hi,” I welcomed cautiously. He didn’t say anything. “Aaron?” He looked at me shortly, anger washing over him before he turned back to face the wall. “Where’s Jack?”

“A friend’s house,” he answered shortly.

“Emily?”

“Sleeping upstairs.”

“And you?”

He didn’t answer.

“What’s wrong?”

“Where were you today?” he asked quietly and calmly, even though there was a bite behind his words that insinuated that he was secretly boiling with rage. I sighed and shifted to take his hands. He moved away from me. “I dropped today.”

I stopped. “What?”

“I Dom dropped, and you weren’t there. I called you three times, and you didn’t pick up. I’ve just been sitting here all day, freaking out, thinking that I actually hurt you this time around, and that maybe that was why you were avoiding me… and that…” He took in a deep breath and looked away from me. “Where were you?”

“Baby, I didn’t know—”

“Where were you, Y/N?” he repeated, this time his anger breaking through.

I swallowed hard, then sucked in a shaky breath, none of which was helping me calm down for his sake. Hotch had never Dom dropped. Ever. I should have known that the one time I would disappear after a scene without a trace and without talking to him, it would take a toll. I should have known. And, yet, I didn’t do anything to prevent this because I was so caught up in the idea of escaping him and our stifling home long enough to just feel my legs again. Realistically, what I should have done was told him initially how I was feeling. I should have told him that I liked all the attention, and I liked what we were doing, and I was okay with the punishment I received for being a brat, but that I needed a break from all of it. I should have told him that I was mad at him. I was mad because he was leaving, and not even the sex was going to keep him home with me.

He would have understood. He would have cared for me and made sure that I didn’t drop, which would have been enough aftercare for him to not drop. But I wanted to see my friend, and I didn’t take my partner’s feelings into consideration. That wasn’t right. Not only did I fail in that moment as his submissive, but as his wife, and as his partner for nearly four long, blissful years. We were more open than this. We didn’t abandon each other’s feelings like this. All I could think was that I was sorry, but I knew that wouldn’t fly in this situation. I needed to do more.

“I was with Morgan, getting lunch.”

Hotch buried his face in his hands. “You could have told me that.”

“I had to turn off my phone so that I could focus on him. I’m so sorry, baby.” I tried reaching out for him again, and this time he let me. I put my hands on his shoulders, then slowly started squeezing, massaging away his tension, releasing all of the anger that was building up inside of him. “How long have you been dropping?”

“Since you left.”

“Okay…” I kissed his bicep. “Okay. I’m sorry. Did you have lunch?” He shook his head. “You need to eat. Do you want a sandwich or a salad or something?”

He moved to put his hands over mine. He brought them over his shoulders, moving me so that I was sitting on my knees behind him, my chest pressed against his back. “Can we just…” He let out a sigh after kissing the back of my left palm. “There’s some leftover pizza in the fridge. I’ll have that.”

I kissed the back of his head. “Alright.” I let him kiss my hand again before I shifted off of the couch and headed to the kitchen.

Once I had the pizza reheated for Hotch, I carefully balanced the plate and a cup of iced tea for him out to the living room. I slowly handed it to him while sitting down. He silently thanked me before setting the glass down, then settling his grip around one of the piece’s curst. I scooted closer to him so that I could rub my hand over his back as a comfort. He melted somewhat. He continued to eat through the two separate pieces before drinking the iced tea. Then, when he was done, he relaxed against my touch, letting me run my fingers through his hair over and over again.

“Baby, if I knew, I would have stayed. If I knew, I would have come back. I am so sorry, I wasn’t here, Aaron. You’ve never dropped, so it didn’t cross my mind.”

He sniffled. “I don’t know why it happened. I’ve just been so fucked up since I found out that I’m leaving, and I’ve been taking it out on you, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t’ve gone that far with you this morning.”

“It’s okay. I was fine with it, Aaron, I swear. I know you think you hurt me, but you didn’t—you never have, and I doubt that you ever could.” I carefully grabbed his hand, but he reached around to hug me. I kissed his neck. “Look at me.” He did so. “How do we handle this in the future? Tell me what I need to do, and I’ll make sure this never, ever happens to you again.” When I offered getting him some food, I had just guessed that was what he needed, but everyone handled dropping differently.

“I don’t… I don’t know,” he admitted. I brushed my fingers through his hair. “I wouldn’t know what would help…”

“Well, there’s a handful of things. You know me, I like physical touch. Being held by you and loved by you is enough to help me not drop or to stop dropping entirely. But some people like service—like food, or clean, warm clothes or sheets; others like distractions, like movies or exercising; I’ve been with someone who always needed sexual release when she Dom dropped.”

Hotch squinted at me. It wasn’t that he disliked hearing about past partners, but he didn’t like being compared to them. That wasn’t even my intention. I only brought it up because it was hard to tell him that it was okay if he wanted to cum while he was upset. That didn’t make him a bad guy. Even though it was a long time ago, and she and I were young, I could remember vividly how she’d tell me if she felt off after a scene, and I would just know what to do, and she’d immediately feel better. That was how we worked. But I never thought that Hotch would need it, too. I hadn’t seen this coming—which was very much my fault—and so now I needed to find out how to prevent this in the future. His job as my Dominant was to make sure I was in a safe environment before, during, and after play scenes. I neglected my job as his submissive to show the same courtesy. She would have never let that happen because she knew herself well enough to warn me, but Hotch hadn’t seen this coming.

“Just,” I patted his chest, “whatever you feel like you need, tell me. I don’t want you to ever have to go through this again—especially alone. Okay?”

He nodded. “Yeah.” He stayed quiet in order to consider all of his options. I continued to brush his hair back out of his face. A thought that was hitting me was that Hotch hadn’t cum before I left, which could have been part of the problem in the first place. He was so caught up in the idea of punishing me that he hadn’t even taken the chance to fuck me, or even use my mouth. And then, like he was reading my mind, he said, “Could you…” He gulped and rolled his hips instinctively. I smiled lightly. “I’m sorry… That’s stupid…”

“No, it’s not,” I insisted, shaking my head. “Just relax.”

I slid off the couch and landed on my knees before crawling my way between his thighs. He was already hard in his pants from waiting with anticipation. The point wasn’t to tease and play with him. The point was to make him relax and have him release the stress and anxieties that came with dropping. So, I immediately fiddled with his belt, buttons, and zipper, then pulled his pants down—with the help of him lifting his hips up, of course. When he was just in his boxers, I grabbed onto his waistband, then looked up at him. His head was already thrown back against the cushions, his arms stretched out over the back of the couch. While sliding his underwear down, allowing his erection to spring free against his stomach, I asked if he was alright. He nodded shortly.

When I took his shaft in my dominant hand, he hissed and tensed. I shushed him quietly to make sure that he would relax again, and I didn’t move until he did so. As his thighs on either side of my body released the tension that had built up, and his hands turned from fists to laid out palms on his chest, I pumped my hand up and down a couple of times before moving to luck my tongue over his tip.

“Fuck, Y/N—” He stopped himself from moaning too loud because Emily was still asleep upstairs. “More…” He tangled his hands in my hair. “Please.” I let him push my mouth onto as much of his length that would fit—and then some. Rather than pulling on my hair, like he normally would, he instead opted to run his thumb over my cheek bone to encourage me. “So good,” he whispered when I started bobbing my head quickly. He held me as I hallowed my cheeks and used my tongue for extra stimulation. The goal was his release, that was all. There was no need to waste any kind of time. “Baby…” He was so breathless, and I could feel him tensing up again, so I snuck my hands under his shirt to feel up his loose abs, careful to avoid the scars that had been there for years and would be there for the rest of his life. He removed his hands from my hair. When I felt his fingers dance over mine through his shirt, I spread mine so that we could interlock. “I’m gonna—” His abs tightened against my touch, a thousand curses and breathless moans escaped him, and his hips bucked around slightly as he came. “Fuck, fuck, fuck— Shit—” He whimpered submissively as he rode out his orgasm. When I was sure that he was done, I slowly pulled off of him and swallowed, and I wiped my lips clean with my fingers. Hotch sat up to slide his pants on. “Come here.” I sat with him, but then he moved us so that we were spooning together. “Thank you.”

“Do you feel better?”

“Yes.”

I kissed his bicep that was against my cheek. “Good. I’m glad.”

Silence hung in the air for a few minutes as we both caught our breath, and I was thinking about how he didn’t want me to leave today, and I didn’t want him to leave in a few days… It was all so messy.

“We do have to think about getting a nanny,” Hotch whispered. I scoffed. “I’m serious. With me gone and you heading back to work, it just makes sense that we have someone here all the time with Emily who’s not Jessica.”

“Well, maybe if you stayed, we wouldn’t—”

“I’m not fucking staying, Y/N,” he hissed. “I’m sorry, baby, but I don’t know how much clearer I can be.”

“I’m not going to stop trying to keep you home with me, you know?”

He hummed a “yes” in my ear while pulling me closer. “I know.”

“Will it help?”

“Probably not.”

I screwed my eyes shut to stop myself from crying quietly against him. “I love you, Aaron. More than anything in the world. I just don’t want to lose you.”

“You always feel like you have to control everything around you, Y/N, I understand that—in fact, that’s a reason I fell in love with you in the first place. But sometimes you can’t control everything… And when that happens, you just have to admit it and try to move on with your day.”

“I can’t.”

“You’re going to have to try if you’re going to get through this.”

I brought his hands up to my face and kissed his knuckles while thinking about how I couldn’t bear the idea of having to get through anything without him by my side. He was going to be gone for who knew how long. He was going to be who knew where in the Middle East, doing who knew what, risking his life who knew how often. How was I supposed to survive that? How was I supposed to sit around in our home or at the office and do nothing? How was I supposed to trust that he wasn’t going to get himself killed out there? I just didn’t want to think about it anymore. For once, I just wanted to pretend like he wasn’t leaving at all and that I had nothing in the world to worry about.

“I love you,” he whispered in my ear. “More than anything in the world.”

A tear slid down my cheek. “I love you, too.”

-----

criminal minds family: @peggy1999 @gorgeousdarkangel @alex--awesome--22  @oceaneblu @brithedemonspawn @absolutemarveltrash @bshelley322 @rousethemouse @sunshinepower17 @weexinling @pettttyyyc​ @Braty-angel

[recentanimenews]

The Manga Review, 5/20/22

This year’s Eisner nominations have just been announced. In the Best U.S. Edition of International Material—Asia category, VIZ Media garnered five of the six nominations with crowd-pleasers such as Chainsaw Man and Spy x Family, while Seven Seas garnered one for Robo Sapiens: Tales of Tomorrow. The only other manga nominated for an Eisner was Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead, which is competing in the Best Humor Publication category. Also nominated for an Eisner is Eike Exner’s Comics and the Origins of Manga: A Revisionist History, a scholarly work published by Rutgers University Press.

MANGA NEWS

Big news from Seven Seas, which just launched two new imprints: Seven Seas BL, which will publish works in the BL/Boys’ Love genre, and Seven Seas GL, which will publish works in the GL/Girls’ Love (yuri) genre. [Seven Seas]

The final chapter in Wataru Hinekure’s My Love Mix-Up! will run in the June issue of Bessatsu Margaret. [Anime News Network]

Brigid Alverson previews three new shonen titles that debut in July. [ICv2]

Over at Book Riot, Carina Pereira highlights eight of the summer’s most anticipated graphic novels. [Book Riot]

How do librarians respond book challenges in their communities? Shawn, Megan, and Tayla offer a variety of helpful strategies for handling complaints about graphic novels, from setting clear policies about who can bring a formal complaint to using peer-reviewed sites to demonstrate that your collection is, in fact, age-appropriate. [No Flying, No Tights]

FEATURES AND INTERVIEWS

Looking for a good read? The crack team at ANN have just posted their Spring 2022 Manga Guide, shining a light on this season’s newest titles. Look for daily updates through the end of this week. [Anime News Network]

Tony explores the complex friendship between Kaguya Shinomiya and Ai Hayasaka in Kaguya-sama: Love Is War. [Drop-In to Manga]

On the latest Manga Mavericks podcast, host Siddharth Gupta convenes a roundtable discussion about Yona of the Dawn with panelists from Anime Feminist, But Why Tho?!, and Good Friends Anime Club. [Manga Mavericks]

Geremy and Kevin round up the latest Shonen Jump chapters, then turn their attention to volume thirteen of Haikyu!! [Jump Start Weekly]

Why did Nobuhiro Watsuki’s Gun Blaze West get the axe after just three volumes? David and Jordan investigate. [Shonen Flop]

Did you know that Tokyopop’s Warriors fandom is still going strong after fifteen years? Patrick Kuklinksi shines a light on the fan-made comics that explore “parts of the books that weren’t detailed in canon,” re-write controversial storylines, and introduce original characters. [SOLRAD]

Megan D. jumps in the WABAC machine for a look at Rumiko Takashi’s Rumic Theater, a collection of short stories that VIZ published more than twenty-five years ago. “What caught my notice about this anthology is that they all feature something you don’t see a lot of in American manga releases: adult women,” she observes. “Every lead character is either a currently married woman (be they with or without children) or one who was married in the past.  A lot of their stories are small-scale, focused on their homes and their immediate community of friends and family. True to Takahashi fashion, though, they are also often comical”.” [The Manga Test Drive]

REVIEWS

Are you following Al’s Manga Blog? If not, you should: this review-focused website has been publishing insightful, crisply written essays since 2016. Al’s latest offerings include in-depth reviews of The Music of Marie, a new title by Usamaru Furuya (Short Cuts, Genkaku Picasso); Island in a Puddle, a thriller by Kei Sanabe (Erased); and Sakamoto Days, a new Shonen Jump series by Yutu Suzuki.

Also of note: ANN’s Caitlin Moore draws on her own experiences with ADHD in a thoughtful review of My Brain is Different: Stories of ADHD and Other Developmental Disorders, while Masha Zhdanova posts capsule reviews of three new VIZ titles.

All-Out!! (Krystallina, Daiyamanga)

All-Rounder Meguru (Krystallina, Daiyamanga)

Awkward Silence (Megan D. The Manga Test Drive)

Boys Run the Riot, Vol. 1 (Seth Smith, Women Write About Comics)

Devil Ecstasy, Vol. 1 (Demelza, Anime UK News)

Fly Me to the Moon, Vol. 11 (Josh Piedra, The Outerhaven)

A Galaxy Next Door, Vol. 1 (Brett Michael Orr, Honey’s Anime)

Giant Spider & Me: A Post-Apocalyptic Tale (Megan D., The Manga Test Drive)

Golden Japanesque: A Splendid Yokohama Romance, Vol. 5 (Krystallina, The OASG)

The Haunted Bookstore, Vol. 1 (SKJAM, SKJAM! Reviews)

Island in a Puddle, Vol. 1 (King Baby Duck, Boston Bastard Brigade)

Jujutsu Kaisen, Vols. 14-15 (King Baby Duck, Boston Bastard Brigade)

Kubo Won’t Let Me Be Invisible, Vol. 1 (Josh Piedra, The Outerhaven)

The Music of Marie (darkstorm, Anime UK News)

My Androgynous Boyfriend (Megan D., The Manga Test Drive)

The Poe Clan, Vol. 1 (Eric Alex Cline, AiPT!)

Record of Ragnarok, Vol. 1 (Danica Davidson, Otaku USA)

Rent-A-(Really Shy!)-Girlfriend, Vol. 2 (Demelza, Anime UK News)

Sakamoto Days, Vol. 1 (Renee Scott, Good Comics for Kids)

Seaside Stranger, Vol. 2: Harukaze no Étranger (Kate Sánchez, But Why Tho?!)

Sensei’s Pious Lie, Vol. 1 (Sarah, Anime UK News)

Short Sunzen (Megan D. The Manga Test Drive)

Stravaganza (Megan D., The Manga Test Drive)

To Strip the Flesh (Quinn, But Why Tho?!)

Wind Breaker, Vol. 1 (Brett Michael Orr, Honey’s Anime)

By: Katherine Dacey

[creatorofchaos]

Blight Family Hair Theory

This is a break from your regularly scheduled Hermitcraft program.

I’ve been delving into The Owl House since it’s mid season hiatus and found something interesting when watching The Roundtable’s latest video.

Spoiler warning!

Vox discusses how the Blight Parents may be the main antagonists for the show instead of Emperor Bellos. I want to throw my own two cents into the can about this theory.

Amity’s natural hair color is a shade of brown as shown in the pictures above, lending to the belief that she has dyed her hair for some reason or another. Although many speculate that it could be because of her passion for the book series, Azura the Good Witch, I’m not so convinced.

Vox points out how Amity’s parents are very strict, so much so that Vox theorizes that when Amity accidentally calls one of her teachers “Mom” it was in reaction to a negative stimuli, rather than just a knee jerk accident in passing.

Both of Amity’s siblings have green hair that appears entirely natural since their hair color goes down to their roots. However, we notice that Amity still has a tuft if brown hair in the front, lending to the idea that that’s her hair’s roots and that green hair is not her normal hair color, unlike her siblings.

Although we have yet to see Amity’s parents past a shadow on a wall, we may be able to infer that their hair colors are both green.

Amity would stick out like a sore thumb from her family, being the only one with brown hair, instead of green hair.

You know how I mentioned how I wasn’t convinced that Amity dyed her hair to imitate Azura? It’s because I think she dyed it because her parents looked at her as an outcast.

They’ve already proven to force Amity to lose her friendship with Willow because it would look poorly on their family.

It would look even worse on a family that is so egotistical about status to have a child that does not match, or could possibly be a bastard child. Now, I’m getting off track, but the point is that Amity doesn’t fit with the rest of her family, she’s the oddball, the outcast, the blight.

Amity’s siblings so far have been tolerable sibling characters, not malicious, but not exactly lawful good, if you catch my drift. Any time we’ve seen them, they are either there to pick on Amity, or help her get stronger, the second presumably to appease their parents.

A blight is something that spoils or damages something.

An example of a blight is like tarnish on copper, think the Statue of Liberty.

Or think Amity’s green hair dying her normally brown, coppery hair.

I think that the Blight parents are the blight of their family and have corrupted the twins. When push comes to shove, the twins aren’t going to side with Amity.

I think the green hair is indicative of the blight of the Blight family.

Also from this theory is Vox’s theory on the Blight parents cursing Eda, which you know, last name Blight can equate to curse damaging Eda.

There’s more to this theory but I’m struggling to push it together.

The pictures above were taken from the most recent Roundtable video. Also, so is this line: Like my theory? I’d love to hear yours! Comment down below!

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