#she just still feels his presence...
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milolunde · 3 months ago
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We all know Timmy is Wanda’s mama’s boy but we need to keep in mind he’s still Cosmo’s kid too and that Cosmo would love him just as vehemently as Wanda
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#fairly oddparents#not that anyone has portrayed him different#certainly not distance he loves Timmy he probably says it the most in the show and in fanon#but still- watching New Wish there felt like there was a disconnect with Cosmos character-like he wasn’t as well defined as he was in OG#that’s in part due to them toning him down from being an idiot plain and simple but I feel like it wasn’t fitted with something else it was#simply taken away#just to say he didn’t have as much of a presence to me in New Wish as Wanda did and I crave spinning Cosmo around in my brain#I want to see Poof being his Dad’s Boy yknow and I want to see cosmo doting and I want to see when he gets like. parental rage for the sake#of his kids#yknow? Yknow? part of him feeling detached in a new wish has translated into him not wanting to get as close to Hazel as he did Timmy-#to try and play it more like godparents are supposed to- just a presence for a couple months#but also because like. he got SO attached to Timmy and he’ll never regret it and he’d never do anything different#but idk. if it were me I wouldn’t have the capacity to go through losing my godkid again after becoming that attached#that’s not even mentioning that they don’t HAVE to be in hazel’s life the same way they were in Timmy’s because Timmy was going through#neglect and Hazel has loving family and friends all around her at all times- her blocks are mental#in that way cosmo and Wanda just have to do the Typical Godparent Job of aiding her- not becoming people she desperately needs in life#which also bleeds into why I think Peri was having such a. difficult time#godparents aren’t supposed to be attached the way his family was to Timmy and that how he learned it#but his first godkid is Not Easy and lends immediately to the issues Timmy was having where he HAS parents he HAS things (though . Timmy#was not rich and would sometimes not be fed… dev’s dad also forgets to feed him but dev is still able to eat you know)#and how he grew up with his parents as godparents and how he’s been taught are conflicting and it’s nature vs doing a good job quoteunquote#I didn’t mean to ramble so damn much in the tags I’m really sorry#told myself if I had more to say I’d write it down and post it later but I must be heard.
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deus-and-the-machina · 2 years ago
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I caught up to the oshi no ko manga recently and can I say whatever aquakane has going on is fucking insane good lord. Not platonic not romantic but a secret third thing (fake dating to “I have feelings for you” “I have feelings for you too” *narrator voice* the feeling was friendship to willing to commit a murder so the other won’t return to a spiraling revenge quest, a murder she was 100% down with since the moment it was implied to complicated exes but goddammit I still see through your bs and care about you idiot I’m gonna ruin your clearly self saboteering revenge quest and also it’s all super ace coded)
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tachiharastanacc · 7 months ago
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Tachihara losing his brother and not understanding what he was feeling or how to deal with it since he was so young (5). And as he gets older, he starts to wonder if he really missed his brother or he missed the idea of having a brother.
He assumes that because he’s grown since then and it feels so distant that he could handle it if it were to happen now. Maybe that’s because he’s killed people of his own. But he never really wants to dwell on it.
Turns out. It’s not. It hurts just as much, but now he blames himself as well. Why wasn’t he there? Why didn’t he stop Fukuchi when he had the chance? If he’d just asked for help, this all could’ve been avoided.
He’s always been a loner to some extent, never good at processing feelings, always wanting to belong but feeling like he was an outsider.
It’s not until they’re all gone that he realizes how much emptier he feels without them.
Shunzen may have been his brother by blood, but as much as he doesn’t wanna face it. Tachihara barely remembers him.
He remembers them. He spent the last 6 years being raised by them. They always encouraged him, supported him, even when the government and fate itself were trying to control them. And yet.
He wasn’t there.
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fangaminghell · 6 months ago
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Erin: Hey Flynn-
Flynn: ( jumps a little) O-oh! E-Erin! Hey!
Erin: ..... Actually, nevermind-
Flynn: Oh, no, wait wait wait- d-did you need something,I'm sorry-
Erin: Stop apologizing, you- ( sighs) You're still so jumpy around me. If you don't want to be around me, just say it.
Flynn: N-no! That's- that's not what's going on at all!
Erin: Then what? We've known each other since we were kids-
Flynn: A-and that's what makes it so weird!
Erin: .....What.
Flynn: Y-you can't tell me all of this is weird, right? We- we used t-to just exist a-around each other! W-we never really talked o-or anything or really knew each other and-
Flynn: A-and now we're in this new space where we- we a-aren't the same a-as we used to be you know? E-everything has c-changed so quickly...I'm still reeling....
Erin: .....
Erin: ( turns away) So you want to go back to how things were. Is that what you're saying?
Flynn: .....I don't know. Being brave....is so hard. E-even now but- ( she takes a deep breath) I-I want to be a person who can at least try to be! S-so.....so!
Flynn: ( takes a step toward, taking Erin's hand) I want to get to know you, Erin!
Erin: ?!
Flynn: I-I always thought that- that being your friend was just some far off dream.
Erin: ....You really thought that?
Flynn: Y-yeah! Y-you were always so cool....a-and a little scary but....you were still always there. I-I would imagine t-talking to you, b-but never had the courage too.
Erin: ( shrugs) Eh. No offense, but I doubt I'd let you in, back then ( looks down at her hand in Flynn's) ......You really want to know me?
Flynn: ( nods, eyes brimming with determination) Y-yes!
Erin: .....Heh.( takes Flynn's hand, and grips it a little tighter. She smiles a little) The name's Erin. Nice to meet you.
Flynn: ( smiles with confidence that she thought would never exist) My name is Flynn! I hope we get along well!
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solei-eclipse · 5 months ago
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lang and solei are lowkey diametrically opposed with their views on life, do u think this would cause any issues at anakt or would they still vibe
sorry this took me a while plip I JUST recovered from my trip yesterday 😭
I don't think it'd cause any actual issues since solei doesn't make a problem of it (they just keep that shit to themself. keeping the peace or whatever). I'm not exactly sure what kind of life lang leads, but it seems like she's at least open to making friends and interaction? (is there something deeper/behind that? or is she just fine with certain interactions) unlike azure who basically dgaf
If lang is outspoken about her views then solei would feel heavily conflicted about it. they'd have little thoughts and questions in their head like "did you ever think differently at one point? how do you see everyone? do you find me worth worrying about/fearing for or am I something that will just inevitably pass by to you?" (these are just solei's annoyingly persistent thoughts. they do like lang, they don't hold any hate or dislike to people with a different worldview. It's just something that unsettles them to the point of these thoughts which is why they're more reserved/distant around those people.)
though if lang's beliefs are something she keeps more to herself, solei would just get the feeling that lang is different. they wouldn't know why, and as a result just let it pass (though they'd often wonder and think about her).
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good-beanswrites · 9 months ago
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Just wanted to plant an idea if you wanted a bit of fuel: Mahiru asking Yuno to come to her cell before everything goes down.
Edit: I forgot the ask didn't say it but this is part of Kyanako's incredible Order Of Attack AU!
Didn't mean for this to become a mini Mappi study but here we are ✨ Thank you for the request! I fully intended to write them hanging out, but it's more right before they hang out lol. Went a bit on-the-nose with foreshadowing, but isn't that the fun part? It has become Emotional Over Mahiru Hour...
I kept things vague, but TW for mentioning her boyfriend's state of potential self-harm
Mahiru tried not to act superstitious, she really did. As much as she loved the idea of little luck charms, or avoided easy signs of misfortune, it was easier to keep quiet about such ridiculous things.
Maybe catching a bride’s bouquet meant no guarantees; maybe there was no real harm in stepping underneath ladders, maybe a coin tossed into a fountain had no real magic to its wish. However, the one thing she knew for sure held power was a lucky presence. Being in the right place at the right time could alter everything. And today was the right time for something. There was this waiting in the air. The prison had been holding its breath. Mahiru knew it was time to release it all.
“You must be so lonely, why don’t you let big sis Mahiru keep you company?” She beamed at Amane.
She often recalled the good fortune that she and a certain young man had crossed paths on the university terrace. She used to laugh with him about the wonderful coincidence of bumping into each other outside of the bakery, then the convenience store. 
Though she’d never spoken about it to him, she was also grateful for many occasions where she walked in on him at the precise moment to talk him out of something reckless. She always told him that they’d do everything together. He didn’t need to be alone anymore. 
“I wish to be alone. I need peace of mind to think.” Amane turned away from the cell door.
It was a good thing, too. Mahiru’s smile wasn’t as convincing as she said, “o-oh. Of course.”
She made her way around the panopticon, hearing Fuuta pace his cell in anticipation. He must have felt it too, this holding of breath. 
Or perhaps not. He turned down her offer for a bit of company, including a few more colorful words than Amane had. Mahiru just apologized for bothering him and headed back to her cell. She wasn’t sure where Mikoto was at this hour, but she didn’t feel like smiling through a third rejection.
She shook her head back and forth. She wished the motion could rattle the voices inside, she wished she could shake them all away. With her arms secured in place she could no longer cover her ears. She used to hum to keep them at bay, but lately they’d been too loud to stifle. They just kept on talking.
Their words told her the two were right. Nobody needed her company. No – nobody wanted it. Being together hadn’t helped her boyfriend. In fact, being together had been the very thing that got him killed. No wonder Amane and Fuuta wanted to avoid her. 
So then, this was for the best. She would rather deal with the brief sting of refusal than stumble in one day to find them hurt… or worse. As much as she tried to avoid the superstition of it all, the voices reminded her that her very presence could mean life or death. 
“Mappi, are you alright?” Mahiru hadn’t realized a tear had slipped down her cheek until she hurried to swipe it away in front of Yuno. 
“Hah, I’m fine! Just fine.” It was impossible to fool her, Mahiru had learned, but that never stopped her from trying. 
At least she always spoke tactfully. “Rough morning?”
Mahiru shifted her arms in her uniform, making a small sound of agreement.
“Can I do anything to help? What if I stay with you for a bit? I can do your hair, and…”
The voices were right. Amane and Fuuta knew it, too. Presences did hold power, and Mahiru’s was cursed.
But she would sound foolish admitting such a fear to Yuno. She'd heard plenty from the voices about how stupid and airheaded she was, there was no use in getting the same lecture from someone as grounded as her.
Mahiru managed a weak protest, unable to explain her real reasoning. Yuno was insistent. She didn’t give much of a choice. Could she feel the strangeness of the prison, as well? 
At last, Mahiru allowed her shoulders to sag. Yuno was lucky. And kind. Having her nearby would do her good. Amane and Fuuta would be alright. Mahiru had tried spending more time with them after verdicts were announced. Now, she made a mental note to pull back. If her love couldn’t save anyone, at least she could spare them from her curse. They would be safe. 
“Yes. Please stay. The truth is... I don't want to be alone.”
#milgram#mahiru shiina#yuno kashiki#amane and fuuta mentioned#i dont know how well this all fits in with your vision of the au but i had a ton of fun with this lmao sorry 😂#oh hey if anyone knows any japanese superstitions like those in the beginning lmk#i was trying to research them but i kept getting lucky symbols/words - not necessarily actions like that#anyway thank you so much for this!! it was a really interesting moment to capture >:0#drabbles that take me way too long to combine my three brain cells but im really pleased with the end result#i had a lot of Mahiru Thoughts but it took a bit of fiddling to make them fit together#the superstitiousness - the focus on one's presence - the parallels with his bf - what she's dealing with from the voices#im glad it came together semi-smoothly in the end asdfsd#i didnt mean for mahiru t break the fourth wall or anything --#i always saw her as a master at picking up on social changes/cues so she can tell when things are most tense/kotoko is fully prepared#but she doesnt consciously know it -- she just knows that things feel Off#not only do the attacks confirm mahirus fear that shes cursed - but yunos involvement confirms her belief that shes extra lucky#i wonder if shed still end up spending all her time with yuno now that she thought she was such a protective person...#i couldnt articulate it right since the end was wrapping up so nicely - but mahiru starts to wonder if most people are fine being left alon#and *shes* the odd one out for craving company#then she feels isolated because by getting what she wants shes dooming someone else#i mean... if everyone you try to get close to starts getting hurt... wouldnt you worry about the same...?#AHAHAHAHA hope you enjoyed 🙃#*posts this then retreats back into the void for a bit*#drabbles
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perhaps-in-anotherdream · 2 years ago
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[CN] Victor’s Sea-circle Event (Chapter 4)
⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for content yet to be released on the global server! ⌚
✧ mum’s smile || little gentleman || art and love || mum’s companionship || endearing thoughts
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【Mum’s Companionship】
A journal recording Victor’s growth during the study tour program in France.
What she hid in here is not only memories but also her regrets for not being able to be there to constantly care for him and nag him during the time he was growing up.
[Note: Victor’s mum used to call him “Yan Yan,” which as always, I’ve translated as Vic-Vic~]
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✧ DATE: 05/21
He safely arrived in France at noon today. Following the teacher’s instructions, I was waiting at the designated meeting point when I saw him getting off the bus with a big bouquet of carnations in his hands. The teacher said that when they were passing by a florist, Vic-Vic requested to stop briefly and wait for him; he then especially picked out those flowers for me. This adorable little gentleman… did he watch some French romantic movies!
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✧ DATE: 05/21
Vic-Vic’s dad said he packed his luggage all by himself for this trip. And sure enough, Vic-Vic immediately opened his suitcase in the living room after we returned home today. Although this little grown-up didn’t say anything, I knew he was probably trying to attract my attention. So, I thought of teasing him a little and deliberately pretended to not see, going about my business as usual.
But to my surprise, Vic–Vic was extremely patient. He just sat there on the sofa and waited quietly. Before long, I couldn’t resist anymore and succumbed in my heart, promptly making up for it by rewarding him with the recognition he deserved. Vic-Vic took out a certificate from his suitcase and presented it to me, saying that he would bring an even better trophy next time. I knew he was trying to tell me through this gesture that he was studying diligently and growing up well. So I hugged him and told him he was truly amazing. But what I didn’t tell him was– “Actually, you are already outstanding in your mum’s heart, and you don’t need these awards as validation.”
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✧ DATE: 05/25
We visited a vinyl record store, and I initially thought that at Vic-Vic’s age, he might find this type of music medium too old-fashioned. But he listened attentively to the teacher’s explanations throughout the visit. I asked him if he wanted to buy a vinyl record as a souvenir for himself, and he quickly nodded. Eventually, with the curator’s recommendation, we selected a collection of Miles Davis’ famous tracks.
Sticky Note:
As soon as we got home in the evening, Vic-Vic couldn’t wait to play the vinyl record. I was curious about why he was so interested, and he explained that the unique sound of vinyl records made him feel like he was traveling through time.
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✧ DATE: 05/31
To my surprise, Vic-Vic helped me secure the tickets to the music concert that I had missed out on earlier through a knowledge quiz.
My son is truly amazing~
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✧ DATE: 06/05
I still remember the first time I made pudding for Vic-Vic. With a frown on his little face, he peered at the kitchen countertop and asked me in an earnest tone if we needed to hire a professional cleaner to tidy it up? Just the thought of his deadly serious expression makes me somewhat unable to contain my laughter. I wonder if he will ask the same question again when he sees the kitchen in its current state after waking up?
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✧ DATE: 06/05
…in the blink of an eye, you are already leaving for home today. There are many things Mum doesn’t know how to say to you face-to-face, so I’ll just write them down here silently.
As the person dearest to you, I’m truly sorry that Mum can’t always be by your side and witness you growing up. Seeing how sensible you are, Mum feels gratified, but my heart also aches at the same time. If I had been by your side all the time, perhaps you would have been able to be like the other kids, often acting coquettishly and being stubborn with Mum, wouldn’t you…
Regardless of anything, I hope that one day you will understand that no matter where you are, I will always be blessing you, watching over you, and loving you. And also, remember to smile a lot more. Mum absolutely loves the way that smile lights up your face~
P.S. The teacher said that this record needs to be submitted to the school, but Mum is really unwilling to part with these precious memories and give them to someone else. So I lied to the teacher and told them that I accidentally lost the journal…
After you leave, I’ll secretly hide it away. You can revisit these memories at your own pace when you grow up.
✧ next stop: endearing thoughts
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commsroom · 1 year ago
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Ok so I absolutely love your Hera art.
But
Have you considered
Pink/orange/multicolored Hera
Honestly I feel like warm colors in general just suit her so well.
oh, i don't know! when i ask people to draw hera blue, the reasons for that are: 1) it makes her more immediately recognizable, and 2) i like what it represents! it draws on existing sci-fi imagery of holograms. a projected image of someone who is physically elsewhere. it's associated with water and sky, distance and longing.
physically, i think there are two heras: there's the way people literally perceive her from an outside perspective - formless, or associating her with the hephaestus itself, which is misidentification. i love when people draw eiffel interacting with hera's cameras + monitors very much, but i also think it's clear she feels she's seeing through them, not that she is them. and there's hera as she sees herself in her own mind (and in eiffel's mind, in the finale), where... i really think she just perceives herself as an average, tangible person.
so i don't think she's literally blue, i just think it's a good way to give her a visual presence in art that's closer to her self-perception, while still communicating some sense of distance / disconnect, if that makes sense? if hera had a body and could wear clothes, i think she'd love to try on all sorts of colors!!
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roominthecastle · 2 years ago
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ACGaS 303, “Surviving Siegfried” + 3 times he slips into a dark place & 3 times she pulls him back
That’s a letter from an old AVC friend, Maurice Oliver. I got it about a month ago. He was the chap in the photo you found. He had a practice up in Brawton. He and I went through some things together -- terrible things. He killed himself last week. Barbiturates. I’ve been reading it over and over and over, trying to see if there was anything I might’ve missed. If I could’ve found something, done something to help him. But he seems happy. [voice cracks] He talks about his plans for the summer. | Maurice needed help. No one was there to give it to him... but we are here now.
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wewontbesleeping · 23 days ago
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lmfao it's kind of funny seeing people hate on travis kelce for being an evil liberal, and then seeing other people hate on him for being a trump supporter. and either way, it's really a reason to hate taylor swift for some reason.
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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 9 months ago
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ugh i must confess i hate naoya so much i can't like that brat's cover
PSHDHDHHD THAT’S UNDERSTANDABLE ANON!!!!! he’s awful i do NOT blame anyone for not liking him 😭😭 unfortunately i’m a sucker for wellwritten villains laced in irony so i <3 him but that’s my own issue LMAO
i’ve been thinking abt him a lot recently so i’m using this ask as an excuse to talk abt why… i like him…. pls feel free to ignore this anon !!!!!
sigh….. he’s just . so Good. definitely my favorite minor jjk villain (reggie & uraume are close behind >:3)… he perfectly encompasses everything that’s wrong w the world of sorcery + the zenin clan in particular and i genuinely think he’s such a realistic take on what misogyny looks like?? he makes me want to throw up. the fact that he idolized toji so deeply and hated his family for not understanding toji’s loneliness and strenght only to make that EXACT mistake w maki just because he never saw her as a person…. refusing to accept that she caught up to toji before he even got close….. 😵‍💫😵‍💫 it’s so Good.
and don’t even get me STARTED on his deaths bc they’re some of my favorite moments in jjk when it comes to pure poetic cinema LMAO….. his whole speech about how “any woman who can’t walk three steps behind a man should get stabbed in the back and die” only for him to die when maki’s mom stabs him in the back + a SECOND time when maki stabs him in the back (and she’s even standing three steps behind him <3 so considerate of her <33) yeahhhh it just Does something to my brain. oh and that’s not even mentioning the fact that his domain expansion is formed in the shape of a womb + that he loses against maki because his domain registers her presence as an object….. akutami COOKED w this fight holy shit
but yeah i just. think he’s awful and wonderful and i can’t WAIT to see him die in s3 :333 i am fond of him but . in the same way a scientist is fond of the frog they’re dissecting…. yk………
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arolesbianism · 6 months ago
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Harold tell your son to post some selfies I need to draw him stat
#rat rambles#oni posting#hi Im still not asleep because Im thinking too hard abt oni#god Im so proud of you harold you made it big you have earned the huge award of being the first scientist with a confirmed named child#and not only that but one thats like relevant and might end up being duped themself#harold you made it big Im so happy for you everyone cheer and clap for my boy#and congrats to gossmann for getting a first initial ig#but yeah calvin design when also I just wanna know more abt this funky lil man#also also I need to know if harold is a good dad or not god I hope he is#if hes not I can live with it but I'd much prefer he be a good dad who supports his revolutionary son#all of my curiosity for the current actual new duplicant girl has completely died Im calvin pilled now#although tbf the new girl is not a presence in any of the new logs so its not like shes had a chance to catch my attention#and her dupe description isnt doing her any favors either#maybe if she was nonbinary Id care more lol#she still feels very weird compared to every other dupe I hope she does get some lore present to make her fit in more#I think itd be funny if her donor looked nothing like her and was just some lady and gravitas decided to get funky with it and try to make#a new unique dupe to experiment more with duplicant biology#this is baded on one of her odd quirks that makes her feel weird which is that shes guaranteed to have the cold resistant trait#I think itd be neat if she was a dupe who was specifically designed to better handle the cold#maybe they tried this with her and decided it took way too much time and resources to make specialized dupes like that#idk if they do smth like that with her then I might be able to be a fan of her's but otherwise they have some heavy lifting to do
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themyscirah · 9 months ago
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Started thinking about the Amanda Waller + Ben Turner relationship again.... fuck, I'm gonna need a minute
#I JUST- SHDIAUDJSHDSHEYEYRYRYRY guys. guys#i know none of you see my vision and thats okay. i will make you see my vision. i will force you to see my vision. i will-#like jesus fucking christ oh my god. its so interesting and gives me so many emotions and just!!!#i know im not making sense bc none of my moots are sui sq fans and also like half of the content fucking me up specifically here is in my#head because i cant stop thinking about my absolute power fix it au but like!!!!!!!#also the fact i have a fix it for a comic that isnt out yet is so funny to me. its literally fucking real though. god knows we need it#may my own content carry me through the dark times (extreme villain waller arc)#anyways this fucks me up so bad you dont even know. someday ill actually explain it#dc hire me to write a suicide squad ongoing PLEASE. i could do it so good it would be so fucking good dc PLEASE 😭😭😭😭😭😭#also like this isnt me shipping them btw. like 110% not that. just to clarify.#i wouldnt even call it a friendship bc like. theyre not friends really. he has the most equal dynamic with her i would say but it still isnt#equal. shes v much his boss even though they have an understanding and respect there#like she believes and trusts in him much more than anybody really even himself. like she sees the good man and the leader even when he#doesnt. but she isnt nice about it. and there is a lot of conflict between them when there needs to be#like as much as ben is “wallers man”--the team leader she wanted from the beginning before rick flagg pushed his way in#ben i would say is still a very moral person even when lost and unsure of himself and his goodness (which is like one of his main things)#like i feel like while amanda can lean very into a “the ends justify the means” mindset in her worse moments and do bad things to get#herself out of a corner ben has like a deep and meaningful understanding of how the choices of your methods and how you act can weigh on you#like even though he was brainwashed and whatnot (thats still the story right? i cant remember) he holds a lot of guilt and baggage over his#actions and i think is able to temper amanda's worse tendencies in terms of that by calling her out when he recognizes that behavior#idk. i just really think that amanda waller and the suicide squad as a whole has lost its way without a more moral authority presence there.#like someone who can call her out and keep them more on track. which i really thing ben is and could be#i just very much am interested in their dynamic and how that would look like as equals and how i think they could help each other.#which ofc is what my wip is about and revolves around#blah#sui sq
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kaerinio · 11 months ago
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also, the slap heard around the world wasn't just because of the kiss on balerion. ANYWAYS, I AM HERE TO WRITE!! 💖
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aquietgirlsmess · 1 year ago
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"Really ? That's all you're gonna say to him ? You're a fucking pussy"
Oh shut it Mandy ! You're not helping with this sort of comment.
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void-botanist · 1 year ago
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Okay I wanna ask you Blorbo wrapped questions back lmao. I'm also curious about who you thought was coolest, who you rotated in your head the most and who was most fun to write. But also, did you have anyone that was kinda driving you up a wall but then something clicked and you really figured out how to write them? If not, who's still driving you up a wall?
Kendrick! I think you saw that I got too excited and answered my own questions over here but who has been driving me up a wall is an excellent question, lol. There are a few who aren't actively driving me up a wall (what's up with Aza huh) but the people who I still haven't got a hold on are Declan, Horatio, and Sid.
I'm almost hesitant to say Declan because I don't think I have a hard time writing him but I also feel like I haven't fully keyed into the fact that he's an autism creature of a man (and also making it clear that the way the rest of the crew does things behind his back is not them infantilizing him because of it but more complicated than that. They do think he's fragile but that's because of how he's handled his grief). Also like. He literally trusts his crew with his life. But he is so so bad at talking to them and I haven't totally figured out how that all works out.
Oops this got long so here's a cut
Horatio got a character lift in this version. He's always been a sweetheart but that evolved out of him having A Sense Of Justice while also being generally pathetic and wet and soft. Now he has the Standing family deviousness that goes along with it and I don't know how to write that. Because also he looks completely different to Sid, who knows him very well and who he's open with, than he does to Avis, who hates him somewhat for the circumstances of his birth (she tries not to because it's not his fault) but extremely much for being sun-coded in the "cheerful" and "unavoidable and intense" ways. So like, what is he plotting (especially about getting Sorian and Avis back together) and how is he plotting it and how does this dovetail with the happy-go-lucky florist which is equally as much who he is?
Sid on the other hand is challenging in the sense that writing him feels fine. He's a real everyman if you will. Except I don't get his character and I think that's a major stumbling block for AOM as a whole. Yeah, on some level he has to be the sad traumatized guy but like. How does he handle his parents trying to run his life once he takes a massive step outside of their frame of reference? How does this work with Avis's story? (Can I successfully shove these two stories into one thing that is a whole? They have so many themes in common help) In his earliest iterations he was the devil-may-care I'm-doing-my-best guy who mildly tormented Horatio Sense Of Justice and I guess they've sort of flipped? Except Sid is always the Doing My Best guy.
Also when it comes to Anni and Zel, Anni is so easy to write with all the technical stuff and much more challenging with the romance stuff and I don't want it to be that way aaaaaaa
As for who did click, I think I'm getting there with Patience (even though I haven't worked on TFA in a while), Rodney worked better when I just let him be soft, working out Fay's whole divorce history helped make her easier to write (she's not pretending to be the good suburban mom. she just is sometimes and other times she sucks), the fact that Wylie hates himself cracked his whole character wide open, and lately I've realized that a critical part of post-divorce Sorian is that he's tired. He's tired of Avis needling him, always being there but never being there for him. He's not even sure he deserves for her to be. But he kinda wishes she would just leave and move on so he can too.
#'but your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone'#every iteration I get closer with Anni & Zel. I promise they have chemistry. I just don't feel confident in my ability to bring it out#which is probably the real problem. I think I'm gonna just write a ton of them outside of TFA until I get it#also when I start writing Binna again I think she's going to be kind of tough but we'll get there#original Old Canon Sid was a fucking trip (highly affectionate). I think he was dead? and trapped in the time stream?#so he could just go through time and dimensions however he pleased to annoy everybody equally#he and horatio had this unexplored 'menaces to lovers' potential#his methods were questionable but he really was trying to do the right thing. I wish I had written seven million more pages of him#I originally solved Sid vs. his parents with what was essentially a heist plot crafted to convince them he was a lost cause#which was delightful but. I don't think that's how I want to do things this time#it was great catharsis while I was really going through it tho#also throwback to when I mentally got through finals in the spring by just taking a break to write Vy x Wylie smut#thinking about Sorian and mentally going 'aw my baby' and laughing about who I have/would call my baby#anyone is fair game but I usually say it about Dez (cute) - Tirias (fun) - Mirilde (darling) - Sorian (sad) - Fabian (loser)#c: Sid#c: Declan#c: Horatio#c: Sorian#c: Fay#c: Wylie#c: Rodney#c: Patience#rose meta#rose brambles
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