#she is so so beautiful so unfortunate about everything else that episode

[littlebluejaydraws]

Love when she looks up <3

Image description in alt text

[idle-compy]

jwct season two review!! spoilers below!!

to start off, I really enjoyed this season! it definitely had some weak spots, but overall wasn't a bad season

the animation is definitely the first thing I want to bring up. it was absolutely beautiful. the colors and lighting were stunning, and the way everything moved made it feel a bit more real. I'd like to give a special shout out to any scene involving water because, one, the water was animated extremely well, and two, the way the characters looked after getting wet was a huge upgrade to jwcc

speaking of the characters, I want to talk about them a bit! this is going to be a bit of a mix between good and bad

darius: unfortunately, darius felt kinda flat this season. before the initial release, the show was advertised around him, and he shone his way thru season one. he had conflicts, he had emotions, he an arc. in season two, he felt kind of like a side character. only watching the season once so far, the only memorable moments I remember are him trying to bond with zayna and that extremely awkward flashback of his confession (which is a whole other thing I will get to). other than that, he didn't really have much going on. there was no actual story; no arc. maybe when I do a rewatch, something else will stand out to me

sammy: unfortunately, sammy's story this season also felt kinda weak. for starters, she didn't get to kick a single ass. I feel like her whole arc was just being attached to zayna. she clearly got very emotional about the mballo family, so I guess I was just hoping they would elaborate a bit more on what's going on with her own. I also definitely do think she saw a bit of herself in zayna, so I was hoping that would go somewhere, too. I was really happy about her being a canon vegetarian, though

yaz: yaz, as always, was an icon. she was THE character this season. she was so good at reading people and noticing they weren't okay, and then she tried to help her friends, no matter how much they refused to communicate. a moment of appreciation for her patience when dealing with kenji and ben, because they were not making it easy for her

also her solo episode!!!!! was insane!!!!!! it was literally never ending tension, and good god nothing was going right for her, and yet she kept going. she kept fighting. that episode was also a really good example of how much she's grown. no matter what was thrown at her, she didn't let herself fall into a state of panic and irrational thoughts

ben: I loved his arc. he was put in such an insanely messy and complicated situation, and mixing that with his anxiety and paranoia, of course he'd struggle with it. they did a good job at making the audience understand his thought process. he had to choose between telling the group their dead friend is actually alive because he saw her in the background of one video, or holding back this info until he got more solid proof. then, said dead friend video calls him and begs him not to say anything. that only made it more difficult for him, because he was 100% sure she was alive then, but was asked to not tell. watching him fall deeper and deeper into a state of panic absolutely crushed me

kenji: oh kenji, kenji, kenji. I don't even know where to begin with him, so I guess I'll start with the overall character. to be completely honest, there were moments (especially in the middle of the season) where he just did not feel like kenji. he was abrasive and just seemed off somehow. I'm not gonna go too much into that, though, because most people aren't the same person at 22 that they were when they 15. he has also been through an insane amount of stuff and was at a point where he was overwhelmed with emotions, but was trying to convince both his friends and himself that he wasn't

now his arc is a different story. I like where they took it (in a way that added complexity to an already complex character, not in a yippee!! kenji wants to kill himself!! way). the arc itself was hard, and absolutely depressing, to watch. the way he kept throwing himself in danger's way as if he had a death wish was absolutely heart wrenching. then when he realized what he had been doing and how it affected others, and when he said "I don't know how much more I can take" I wanted to rip him through the screen and give him a big hug

brooklynn: loved loved LOVED her storyline. I was so happy to see her side of the story and how she ended up where she did. the first scene I want to talk about is when she wanted to see her family and friends, she wanted to reach out, but realizing that it could potentially put them in danger, she solidified her decision to stay "dead." I loved that scene so much because it knocks out all of those "heartless brooklynn" theories. she faked her death for them, not to hurt them

I loved that they had moments of focus where she adapted to her new limb difference, and that she was allowed to grieve her missing arm. it felt real and human. also watching her ability to manipulate others and make her way into those different situations was so extremely fascinating. like she is an amazing investigative journalist

also the final scene, where she went with soyona. as agonizing as it was to watch, I'm actually glad she made that decision. it wouldn't have felt realistic for her to choose her friends, not after everything she had gone through to even get there. she was in too deep, and it was very brooklynn of her to continue the investigation instead of going back to her old life. I feel that giving bumpy's egg to the others was her little sign saying "I'm still in here"

ok moving on!

there's also some good and some bad when it comes to the way they told the story

for the good, I really liked the way they switched back and forth between brooklynn and the others. it was a good way to keep up with the timeline while also filling in gaps (ex: the crate moving into the pen just long enough to get them out only to find out brooklynn was on the controls)

on the other hand, the story in the middle of the season (more specifically eps 4, 5, 6), felt like it was moving a bit slow at times. certain things seemed dragged out and there was a lot of filler time. the first episode and the last four did a really good job at avoiding that. the stakes were high and the scenes were so full of tension and ominousity that I was drawn in just about the entire time

now for random little things

I loved the inclusion of the mballo family. it was so refreshing to get new characters that didn't have bad intentions, and I feel like they were exactly what the five needed in that moment

going off of that, I absolutely adored zayna!! she was such a good inclusion. she was determined and strong-willed while also still being a kid. her sarcastic personality (towards darius specifically) was a good way to bring in some light humor too

geba!!! that's all just geba

also the eyeless leucistic baryonyx. I felt so bad for the poor thing knowing that she was intentionally created to be that way. her interactions with the characters were absolutely terrifying, though, and when she communicated with the acrociraptor???? I didn't think it could get more intense

I was actually losing my mind when the baryonyx and red were hunting the nublar five with all the lights turned off. that was another extremely well done scene

the darius confession flashback was..... something. definitely NOT how I was expecting them to go about that scene. season one made it seem like she had been staying with him for a while and he slowly developed feelings that way and eventually she caught on. but that flashback threw all of that away. like she clearly hadn't been there very long and darius had already fallen HARD, and it just seemed out of character for him to insist kenji didn't love her that much. the whole thing was just ugh

the video call flashback was great tho!! it was nice to see they still continued those calls

ben and kenji!!!!!! no but I was actually obsessed with what they did with their relationship this season. the bickering, the divorced couple vibes, and of course the heart to heart. I've been waiting years for that to happen and it did. just for their relationship to go to shambles the next episode 😭

but on that note I will say the reveal to kenji was set up so extremely well. being able to see and hear ben and brooklynn but they don't know he's there, and then everything he does witness is out of context, so he builds up his own conclusion. him confronting ben was so intense like godddd. I couldn't stand the pain in both of their faces. when kenji cracked the glass??? imagine if he had actually aimed for bens face

on the other hand, the reveal to the rest was kinda meh. I just felt like they could've done more with it, but hey, I guess it's realistic. not everything is going to happen under dramatic circumstances

speckles ❤️ (just call me kenji the way I'm attached to that egg)

I loved to see some behaviors from nublar come back!! like yaz going for casual runs through the forest with dinosaurs and darius creating another field guide. I missed dino nerd darius

also the roar identification competition they were having in the beginning was so funny but also such a them thing to do

wish brooklynn would've kept her grey graphic tee (I think it said kroxic??). I liked it more than the plain navy one (/lh)

speaking of clothes, why did they change for that one episode then immediately change back??? felt like a waste of those models (/lh)

anyway I think that's all!! I might come back and edit if I think of anything else to add

[igglemouse]

This is new isn't it? Pascal is going outside for his jog instead of pounding away at the treadmill. I can't blame him, it's a really beautiful Thursday morning with the sun providing a comforting warmth to the start of the day and a caressing breeze to go along with it. I'm wondering, does he really need to do it without a shirt? He can be such a showoff sometimes but I guess he's preparing for some future sportswear commercial that he'll be starring in.

When Pascal makes it back home he's practically glowing. It's nice to see him in such a good mood and with an infectious smile. I feel like he's been a little detached lately. I'd like to think that maybe approaching fatherhood is getting to him but I find out there is something else on his mind.

"I made the all eleven!" he announces, grin widening, eyes bright and open with excitement that I simply don't understand.

"The what?" Yeah, I'm completely blank. I know it' fútbol related but I still have no clue what he's talking about. Living with him means I've learned a little bit of the jargon so I'm not completely hopeless. I know there are eleven players on the field for each team for example so progress?have no idea what he's talking about, I'm sure it has to do with futbol. Everything regarding him has to do with that.

"It's the best eleven players for the season!" he says full of pride. "It's a huge honor, lets everyone know that I'm playing well," and while it might seem silly to me I can tell for him it is everything. It means a lot to be recognized by your peers after all.

"Well, I always tell you that you rock, don't I?" I say with a grin and a nudge of my elbow. He really is bursting with pride and I know he deserves it. No one on the team works harder than him and I say this not knowing any of his teammates at all but how can you doubt his dedication?

He makes a playful scoffing sound. "I mean, you do, but you never watch the games so how could you know?" He's teasing, at least I hope! He's never made me feel bad about not going to the games...

"Oh, yes, but-"

"Oh! I am only just kidding," he says quickly, realizing that he was about to send me on a guilt trip. "It doesn't botther me, you know that!" He gives me his easy smile, the one that had drawn me to him at the start of the year, the one that always makes me feel better about him despite his obvious flaws. "I love that you're not into it, honestly. It's nice to have someone that sees me as something more than a player, more than my stats or performances, that sees me as a person."

"Oh..." I didn't quite expect that, he doesn't open up much as you all know. "Of course! I care more about your diaper changing skills right now than your kicking. You could go the rest of your career without scor-"

"Hey! Don't jynx it!" he yelps out as if I had the power to do that. I just share a laugh with him because I know his dirty little secret. He's very superstitious. I hear most athletes are. It's actually amusing and adoring. So I mock zip my lips tight to make sure I say no such thing but I'm imagining him breaking the record for most goals in my mind to reverse any sort of bad mojo I put on him with my suggestions.

Honestly, the main thing on my mind is the baby. It's hard to think of anything else. I'm just thinking about all the things I'll need to do for her and how much she is going to change the outlook of my life. Even as I bake sugar cookies I'm already imagining what she might like, what kind of diet she will need, will she have my nose? Will she have his chin? I just hope that she takes from me and Pascal and not the man that is unfortunately my father...

Any ways, I baked the cookies because I have a serious sweet tooth right now and it needs to be appeased!

I sit down and settle into my seat and fully prepared to devour the whole plate but just as I start nibbling on the first one there is a loud and insistent knock at the front door. It must be Sara, I think, or maybe even Irene, I have not heard from her lately and I know she's been busy searching for investors so I really should talk to her soon.

It was neither. Unfortunately my warm and cozy day was about to get a lot hotter.

It's Martin. Yes, that Martin, the one who fired my friend Irene for merely being a friend of mines and the same Martin who has gone out of his way to sabotage my food stand and here he is before me with a pleasant smile on his face as if he's done something praise worthy.

"I warned you," he says smirking and smug. The very look on his face makes my blood boil. I'm not sure why I stepped outside, maybe it was to face my enemy, show him I'm far from scared of this old man.

"Why are chu here?" my voice is thick with anger as I try my best to speak Simlish. "Estás loco..." Normal people don't go out of their way to destroy a small business then show up at the victims door to brag about it. The man is a living breathing cliche of vindictiveness.

He doesn't reply at first because he's too busy looking me up and down, his gaze falling to my belly. "I see you've been eating too much of that terrible food of yours."

"Im pregnant," the excuse slips out of my mouth before it is too late. I mean it is obvious but I don't want to share anything about my personal life with this husk of a man. Maybe I said it hoping that it would draw some sympathy from him, some guilt of what he's done to me, but I can tell by the scowl on his face that he's incapable of that. "Please, go-"

"Oh great, a terrible person is bringing another terrible person into the world. The father really wasted his seed on you," his insult is of course laced with venom and son intense that it confuses me. I've done nothing to this man but deny him my employment. That's it.

So I straighten my back and lift my chin and show him that his insults will not land with me. "Why. Are. Chu. Here?"

"To make sure you realize that you can't just open your crappy food stand wherever you please. There are rules and regulations and licenses to get, you know," he's enjoying this. He acts as if he's some noble enforcer of the law and not just a bitter man who wants revenge for me pricking his ego.

"Yes yes, I know..." I keep my tone steady and calm although I know my face is red, I know my anger is evident. "Gracia-"

"Of course," he continues, his voice softening. A mockery of concern. "I figured you might need a job so the offer of you coming to work for me is still on the table-"

I grow tense, my body tightens and I am sure I am ready to snap. My fists ball up against my sides and for a second I imagine how satisfying it would feel to drive my right hand right through his nose. I'm not very strong but he's old and it would knock the smile right off of his face. I would do it if not for the baby. What if he retaliates? What if he pushes me? It's not worth the risk, so I just grit my teeth.

"Vete a la chingada..."

He just laughs and the sound makes my skin crawl. He's feeding off my anger I think. "Ah, I know I've made you mad now. Can't speak Simlish when you're pissed off huh? Are you even here legally, I wonder?"

"L-leave."

He wasn't going to. He stands there, feet firmly planted on the ground, smirk firmly on his lips, and lets me know that he's not leaving. I could feel the urge to strike, a need to show him that I wasn't going to be pushed around, and just when my shoulder twitches the front door opens...

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!?" Pascal voice comes booming in and I swear its the loudest I've ever heard it. There is fire in his eyes and intention in his movements as he shoves his finger towards Martin with such intensity that the old man is stepping back without being touched. Pascal is usually so laid back, so indifferent, to see him flipped onto protective mode was thrilling. Now it was my turn to smirk.

"W-wait, P-Pascal!?!" the old man is stammering, wavering, and clearly confused. "H-hey man calm down I'm a big fan! I-I didn't know-"

"Who. Are. You? You're harassing a pregnant woman?!" He continues, each word a hammer and aimed directly at Martin. The old man is frozen, wondering what to say and what to do and I admit it feels so good to see but I'm starting to worry about Pascal. If he punches this man or harms him in any way it'll be his career that will be in trouble and so I step in.

"Pascal, ess okay, he's nobody-"

"Frida, get inside. I'll handle this!" His tone is firm and leaves no room for argument, and for a second it does sting. While I'm happy he's ready to protect me I feel like this is my fight and the least I can do is watch Martin tremble and read the regret in his eyes but I think I'm over thinking this. Instead I should realize this is the first time he's really shown any passion when it comes to his daughter. So I sigh, give his shoulder a squeeze, and retreat inside.

"M-Mr. Alcocer I-I'm sorry! I had no idea s-she was your w-wife? S-she's beautiful a-and-"

and that was the last thing I heard. Heh, he thinks we're married. Not yet any way...

Well, this was supposed to be a relaxing day...and a relaxing week...but it's been the opposite and mostly thanks to Martin. I really hope Pascal has scared him off but I can't spend too much energy worrying about that, not with a baby on the way...

Frida Varela Index ~ Episode 8.4

[patentedsun]

Rapid fire Fairy Tail rewatch thoughts. May or May not expand upon each point later on.

THIS IS LONG AS HELL BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHEN TO SHUT UP.

for reference, I've reached tartaros so far. I am aware of the canon happenings after that tho.

The female cast is so good idc what anyone says obviously the fanservice is awful BUT I will say, in the earlier arcs, it actually felt decently balanced because of Gray's whole stripping shtick + Natsu's cunty vest wasn't particularly modest either LOL.

Erza is such a wonderful character. I've seen comments that she goes downhill like 100yq onwards but. Um. 100yq characterisation.... that's a whole post of its own.

I never expected to like Lucy so much. idc that it takes her like 200 episodes to win a fight solo because when she FINALLY DOES IT WAS THE BEST MOMENT OF THE SERIES BY FAR. characters who's defining traits r kindness and compassion <33

Interesting how Lucy is the traditional shounen protag (underdog, skills develop overtime) because the rest of team Natsu sans Wendy were all like ... already kinda OP established mages even at the beginning.

I know there are debates ab who really is the protag and imo the narrative skews towards Natsu more BUT. it's bizarre how unexplored he is for a main character. Like yes he is my favourite character other than Lucy but his inner psyche is barely explored it's so weird. He doesn't really have a character arc either??? I'll expand on this more once I finish post tartaros (lolll not looking forward to that) and once again it seems like he's completely regressed from what I've seen of 100yq.

I fucking love all the ships.

I don't agree with comments that Natsu can't be traditionally romantic. Like, I definitely don't think he would ever have the natural inclination to be that way as a part of his character on its own. BUT considering iconic rainbow sakura moment I fully believe he would do whatever it is that would make Lucy happy. And if that includes red roses and candlelit dinners he would absolutely try his best.

Nalu moments r seriously. so good.

I totally see why Juvia stans don't like gruvia. But unfortunately I like them. And I've slightly rewritten them in my head so that juvia doesn't get completely flanderized LOL.

the Natsu Erza Gray sibling relationship goes soooo hard.

Just in general there's something beautiful about the way Fairy Tail handles it's numerous platonic and romantic relationships. Nothing feels secondary yk. Everything is given its due time (except maybe NALU goddammit).

I LOVE THAT FEMALE CHARACTERS HAVE DEEP COMPLEX RELATIONSHIPS IRRELEVANT TO THE MALE CAST. Lucy and Levy, Lucy and Yukino, whatever combination between Erza Lucy Wendy, Lucy Flare, Wendy Shelia, Wendy Carla etc

Even when the relationship involves a man in some kind of way like eg Lucy Cana or Erza Kagura it's still not like... in a bad way. The friendship itself is still there, it's just that the inciting incident tends to involve a dude.

Speaking of Lucy having so many deep female friendships is a big reason why I like Nalu so much lol. Like I literally do not care ab ships in media but fairy tail.... just has that something...

Love how often everyone changes outfits.

This show desperately needed a mini arc somewhere with just Natsu Lucy Happy going on a low stake job, where Natsu actually opens up ab his emotions and his relationship with Igneel.

Needed more Natsu and Igneel flashbacks in general.

Wendy triple combo abandonment issues are not talked ab enough holy shit. Grandeeny, Mystogan and then her entire guild???!

Lucy's relationship with her dad was objectively so well written. I skipped starry skies arc sorry the pacing was destroying me so I can't speak on that. But everything else was just BEAUTIFUL.

The fact that she returns to him just to tell at him. The fact that he comes to her with money problems and she STILL stands her ground. The fact that it's HIM who has to better himself and earn HER forgiveness.

Even after it seems like they're on ok terms, Lucy mentions in tenrou that they don't keep in contact, which is soo... realistic...

and then his death... Shout-out to Natsu who actually is emotionally quite mature (as the author himself seems to have forgotten) and dealt with it wonderfully. He gave Lucy her space, he let her vent, he stopped Happy from interfering too much. + Lucy being conflicted ab it and clearly grieving what could have been instead of what was. sighhh. .

idc ab no deaths but I do wish they didn't do fake out deaths as often. Because when actual loss sticks, it's done super well imo. Ultear, Aquarius, I haven't hit this part yet but Igneel... (yes I'm ignoring 100yq)

the episodic fillers r INCREDIBLE.

Rogue and Frosch are so special to me.

Wish they expanded on Jellal and Meredy's relationship a bit more it seems quite wholesome.

I love Virgo.

Really hate the muted colours Ft2014 onwards, but I do like that Lucy's hair became blonde and not yellow.

Pacing 2014 onwards was GOD AWFUL. I WAS SO SAD because I think the story beats in eclipse arc is actually super good but it was DRAGGED OUT SO MUCH nothing had the impact it should've.

Snow fairy, FT, Masayume chasing you will never be forgotten.

Lucy underutilizes Gemini so much it drives me mad. They were terrifying under Angel so like... cmon...

idc what anyone says GMG and edolas were top tier.

Edolas Natsu X Edolas Lucy... yes

objectively speaking gajeel is a top tier character too

Someone pointed out that Natsu didn't reallyyy hang out with anyone other than Happy pre canon and it changed my life. Every time I notice him and Lucy casually hanging out now I start screaming.

HAPPY IS SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER IDC. His edolas character arc was incredible, his relationship with Lucy is just as (if not more) fleshed out as his one with Natsu and that's part of what makes them such a great trio.

Whenever he goes LUUSSHIEEE . my heart ...

OST top tier no notes

the writing was actually so tight up until GMG part 2

I generally don't care ab the powerscaling issues but laxus v jura... no.

The anime kinda fucks up his face a lot but manga Natsu was genuinely soooo adorable in every single panel (once again IGNORING 100YQ).

Wendy also great character arc.

Sting's whole design is SO GOOD and ten years too early. the fur lined vest, the crop top, the one dangly earring, the scar, the loose fitting pants, good God now that's a Look.

Seriously I love Nalu so much...

That's all for now folks. If you want me to expand upon anything just lmk bec believe it or not all of this is a summary.

[dearestro]

hii, I'm sorry I wasn't very clear in my request, 😅 but I had in mind a story that would be similar to the one in the episode if possible. Anyway, sorry for my lack of precision

Thanks love!

Oh Baby!

Author's Note: Thanks for clarifying! This is incredibly long, so I'm going to post it in parts and it'll be finished as soon as possible! I'll link each part to each post. Sorry it's taken so long!

Warnings: Mentions of childbirth, innuendos, and crude language. Sorry if I missed anything!

Disclaimer: I know nothing about childbirth, healthcare, diseases, etc. I read a case file on the internet about the disease I wrote about. Almost everything I wrote I got from the internet, so I apologize if I messed up.

Summary: Having a baby is hard enough as it is, having a baby when your husband's best friend is House? Even harder. Unfortunately, things are just getting started, and the worst has yet to come.

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Coming Soon...

Your Pov

"Push! Push!" James shouted over my screams of pain. His arms were wrapped around my upper body, trying to help me sit up more. 

"You say push one more time, and I'll push you!" I threatened. I had been in labor for hours. I was exhausted, sweaty, and damn sure I was never doing this again.

"Right! Sorry sweetheart." He kissed the crown of my head and tried to soothe me. 

"I see a head!" The doctor shouted. I nearly collapsed from exhaustion.

"You're almost there, baby." James wiped my hair out of my face and cooed. "Then we have a literal baby." He smiled, but I could see the tears in his eyes. I tried to smile back, but it was interrupted by another sob of pain. "Just keep pushing. You got this. You're so strong, and I'm so proud of you." He kissed my forehead again, and I was filled with a new sense of energy. Let's get this over with.

I kept pushing and pushing until I thought I might pass out. And with one final big push...the room filled with screaming and crying! I fell backward onto the bed after sitting up most of the time. It was done. James hugged and kissed me, whispering sweet nothings in my ear.

"It's a girl! Congratulations, Dr. and Mrs. Wilson." They handed her over to me so I could see. I smiled.

"She's perfect." I tried to hold back the cascade of tears but to no avail. James leaned in closer.

"Just like her mama." He kissed my temple. "My two beautiful girls." I laughed lightly. Finally, after all that work. It paid off! The nurse took her away to get cleaned up while the doctor finished everything that was happening down there. James and I just hugged each other. I swear I would've passed out had I not been so excited. 

We eventually got settled into a room, and I got cleaned up a bit. Our baby girl was resting in her crib. I was still on strict bed rest, so James had gone down to the cafeteria to get some better food. He insisted ‘his girls’ rest. I was lying in bed just watching her sleep peacefully when James came back.

“How are my girls?” He whispered so as not to wake the baby. I laughed lightly and motioned for him to come closer. He set down the food and moved the crib closer to the bed. I picked her up and cradled her closely while James sat behind me and looked over my shoulder. He held up a small stuffed bear so that she could see it.

“We’re ok. Aren’t we baby girl?” She yawned and attempted to stretch, although being swaddled hindered her movement. We had yet to figure out a name.

“You know we could just call her baby if we don’t find anything else.” I looked at James, his eyes fixed on our bundle of joy as he made the bear dance around her and caress her cheek. Clearly, he was too distracted to realize how awful an idea that was, but I just patted his cheek and remained silent. 

“She’s so perfect. I can’t think of a name that could do her justice.” I smiled at the small creature while James started to rub my back.

“I can.” I looked back to see his eyes sparkle and him smile at me. I raised a brow, silently asking what he had in mind. “Y/n.” I giggled and shook my head. Even when I had just been through what some might call a hellish experience, he could still make me feel special. 

“No way.” 

“Why not, I’m quite fond of the name.” He bit back a laugh.

“I’m quite attached to it as well, but there’s no way we’re naming our daughter after me!” I laughed back as he kissed my forehead. 

"Fine, we'll continue this discussion later. I brought you lunch." I smiled and gently put the baby back in her crib before resituating myself on the bed as James moved a table over and unpacked the food.

We sat on opposite ends of the bed eating and talking for a while. Just enjoying each other's company.

"You know I saw this thing. They recommend new dads take off their shirts-" James looked at me surprised, and I laughed. "Not like that, my love." He let out a small oh and motioned for me to continue as I giggled at his disappointment. "As I was saying. The new fathers take off their shirt and hold the baby so that they get that skin to skin contact that mothers naturally get. It helps them bond with the baby, supposedly. I know it seems a little silly but-"

"Yes!" I looked up, shocked at his outburst, and raised my eyebrow. "I mean, yes, as in, I'd love to do it." He quickly explained, his face a little flushed. I smiled and grabbed his hand.

"Great. I only brought it up because I thought you might like the sweet experience." 

"Yes, of course!" He then paused, and a look of worry came over him. "She’s not gonna mistake my nipple for one of...yours...is she?" I laughed at the imagery of the hypothetical and shook my head.

"No, I'm sure your nipples will be fine, babe. I'll make sure she's been fed beforehand." He blushed thinking about his silly worry but relaxed when I said that.

It was the beginning of day three (our last day) in the hospital, and baby girl Wilson had still not been named. I was relaxed in bed while James cradled our baby in the rocking chair. He was currently trying out the bonding exercise, and the baby seemed to be lulled to sleep by his heartbeat and humming. I know I said I would never do this again, but if this is the scene you're rewarded with? Maybe just one more time.

I continued to watch my little family rock back and forth, but the moment was soon interrupted when House came in.

"What the hell are you doing?" I rolled my eyes at his lack of pleasantries. James looked up a little shocked at the sudden noise, and frowned once he realized where or should I say who it came from.

"I'm spending time with my family. Something you might wanna try." He deadpanned, clearly already sick of his friend’s bullshit.

"Without a shirt? Look, I know you like to take on other people's 'burdens' because you have a savior complex, but it's pretty much physically impossible for you to breastfeed." He paused his rant. "Plus, it's weird. I mean, be a man! Am I right?" He looked to me as if he expected me to back him up, but I just gave him an unimpressed stare. James rolled his eyes.

"House, is there something you need? You know besides a better personality?" House turned to him and nodded.

"Yes." We waited for him to elaborate, but of course, he didn’t. 

"And am I supposed to read your mind?" James asked.

"No, but I was hoping you'd put a shirt on and follow me." James looked to me, and I nodded.

"You can go, babe. We'll be ok." He looked hesitant but eventually got up and handed the baby to me before buttoning up his shirt. 

"Ok, but if anything happens. And I mean anything. Call me, page me, tell a nurse, hell have Cuddy request me over the loud speaker-" I pushed my finger to his lips before he could worry anymore.

"I got this. Ok?" He nodded against my finger, and I smiled. "Good. Now have fun. I love you."

"I love you both, too." He leaned in to quickly kiss us both before being ushered out by an annoyed House. Once again, it was just me and the baby.

"And that, babygirl, would be your Uncle House." I sighed as I watched them walk down the hallway, James turning to look back at the room every so often. I smiled and looked down at our baby, caressing her little cheek with my finger. "Don't worry. He'll get used to you soon enough. And when that happens? I bet you two will be the best of friends." She yawned before nuzzling closer to me. What a wonderful life.

Wilson's Pov 

I didn't want to leave my girls, but knowing House, he wouldn't stop bothering us until he got what he wanted...so I followed him. We got to the end of the hallway and waited for the elevator.

“Where are we going? If you hadn’t noticed, I'm off duty!" I asked, getting more and more agitated. I want to be with my wife and our baby, but even then, House manages to pull me into one of his schemes.

“I’m saving you. You should be thanking me. I saw the look in that little monster’s eye. It was about to bite your nipple off.” He said as we entered the elevator while I scoffed and rolled my eyes at his comment.

“First off that ‘monster’ is my little girl. Secondly, she is not an ‘it’, and thirdly, we were bonding, something you might want to try with literally any living thing.” He only rolled his eyes. 

“Not likely.” 

“What are we even doing? Because if it’s not too much to ask, I’d like to spend time with my family.” The elevator doors opened, and he turned to me.

“Fine, spend all the time you want with the little rugrat. After we have lunch.” He exited the elevator and started the trek to the cafeteria. I hurried to catch up with…for a cripple he was remarkably fast.

“And when you say ‘have lunch’ you mean I buy your lunch and you condemn my life choices?” He stopped and turned to me once again, holding out his cane so the end was at my chest.

“Yes, but also because after the scene I just walked in on, you desperately need testosterone.” He mocked before continuing the walk to the cafeteria. I rolled my eyes, sighed, and looked at my watch. I suppose I could spare a few minutes…unfortunately.

[bekolxeram]

honestly idk about you but I loooved the first episode. it was amazing. but I realised I got my hopes up so much in regards to how heavily Tommy is going to be involved in the plane disaster and now I'm pretty sure he's going to be barely in it and icl I'm so disappointed. not with the show and the writers, but with myself 🥲 I guess I wanted to see Tommy in danger a little, perhaps not to the same extent as Athena but in danger nonetheless, ahh 😅 but I'm sure 8x02 and 8x03 are gonna eat either way! I really can't wait to see what they came up with

I absolutely loved it! It hits a nice balance of everything: humor, thrill, frustration, horror, warmth. It's nicely paced and generally a very fun watch. I mentioned last season that the BuckTommy dinner scene in 7x10 felt a bit awkward because they writers seemed to be cramping a lot of information as a setup for S8 in less than a minute. 8x01 managed to catch up with the personal lives of all the mains, foreshadow the obstacles they're going to face, and set up the opening disaster in a few short scenes.

The whole perfume launch call sequence? Chef's kiss. Buck's eureka moment? Buck chasing after Eddie with a few more squirts of perfume? Eddie running in laps around the pool to distract the bees with Flight of the Bumblebee in the background? Monty the beekeeper? Comedy gold.

Don't be so hard on yourself! Isn't part of the fun speculating and imagining what's going to happen on the show? You have your theory, I have mine, the show is most likely going to do a completely different third thing. Think about it, when has the show let us down ever since Tommy's reintroduction? We keep making wrong predictions, but the writers keep giving us something unexpected yet somehow better. Remember we all thought Tommy would rescue Chimney and fly him to the wedding in 7x06? Well, he didn't make his hero entrance, he was just busy fighting a wildfire, but he rushed to the hospital especially for Buck, no one else.

Airport 1975 is very... 70s, I don't think the exact plot would work in 2024 without some major tweaking. The flight attendant managing to keep the plane flying doesn't get nearly enough credit for that, instead the script frames her ex-boyfriend, the flight instructor who repels into the cockpit and lands the plane as the hero. (And everyone from her ex to ATC keeps calling her honey every 3 minutes and talking to her like she's dumb. I'm so glad 8x01 takes a jab at that in its first scene.) Needless to say I'm not a huge fan of the film, other than that big sexy 747 in the classic American Airlines bare metal livery. I hope the 911 remake of that will involve more team work and female pilots.

Such a beauty. Unfortunately I was born too late to see it with my own eyes.

Tommy can still very much be in danger.🙈Whether you believe Tommy can fly a giant airliner or not, he's definitely trained in fighting aircraft fire. It's dangerous, a lot of stuff can suddenly explode. Firefighters have been injured and killed in post crash landing explosions. (Expert in fighting fire with an aircraft AND fighting fire on an aircraft, geez Tommy, leave some expertise for the rest of us.) He might not be the hero who singlehandedly saves everyone in 8x02 and 8x03, but I believe he will be involved in the rescue in some capacity. I mean, it's an airport and the 217 truck is right there.

Feel free to ignore everything I said, anon. Ultimately, we still have fanfiction, so keep playing around with ideas, keep writing, keep reading and have fun!

[waltricia]

More Hawkins/Innovations Ball Observations 🔭🎈🧭

+ A Color Theory

I know I’ve already made several posts about this ball, but I have more observations, so I’m going to compile everything here. For the stuff I’ve already made detailed posts about, I’ll just give brief descriptions.

1. Yellow. There’s so much of it here, and in the episode as a whole. Ahead of the part 1 release, I had been thinking a lot about how the color red would be used to signify Colin’s growing love- and it is, particularly in 3x04 (I’ll come back to that)- but in this episode, yellow is used more so, which is even better because it signifies how much Pen, specifically, is haunting Colin (in the romantic way obviously lol). At Stowell House, earlier in the episode, the walls are a very obvious singular yellow tone, and Colin wears a yellow waistcoat. Here at the Innovations Ball, there are a ton of different shades of yellow on the walls, props/furnishings, costumes, and in the lighting.

Also note the blue elements.

AND green!

(I love Marcus repping all the Polin colors. That bodes well.)

So, yeah, lots of Polin-coding, but also, like I said, I have a particular theory about color, which I will return to at the end of this post.

2. Colin’s entrance into the ballroom mirrors the infamously unfortunate Beauty and the Beast scene from 2x04. Both scenes have our leads stopped on staircases in front of grandfather clocks (another surprisingly significant motif of the season). I love the comparison of her being lonely because she’s left alone by him in that moment- and by everyone else as usual- to now him being lonely, despite being surrounded by admirers, because he’s being left alone by the one person who truly knows him and would make that difference for him.

3. I think everyone already knows about this parallel by now, but I have to note it because it’s so in line with my other observations- when Colin says his “it is possible to do anything” line, that scene mirrors the “assuredly, fervently, loudly” scene from 1x08. Pen and Colin are both inspiring each other, encouraging each other to be honest about their feelings.

And I feel like that’s not the only moment where the scenes are mirrored. In 1x08, when Colin sees Pen, the crowd parts so he has (and we have) the full view of her, and he makes his way over to her from the center of the floor to the edge. In 3x03, after Colin almost reveals his feelings (similar to how Pen almost revealed her feelings in 1x08), Pen leaves him at the edge of the floor to go to the center with Debling. And the crowd, which had been parted- giving us a view of Colin behind Pen- now rushes in to block that view.

4. Double meanings. They’re everywhere.

a) Again, the “it is possible to do anything” line. He’s delivering it to the admiring debutantes, but we know he’s really speaking to Pen. He’s really talking to her about his feelings for her. Of course, Pen thinks he’s talking to her about Debling. The hits just keep on coming for Colin in this episode.

b) In another interesting turn of events, considering she’s Whistledown and so much of what she’s said and done in the past seasons has been layered with hidden meanings, Pen goes and speaks the plain singular truth about herself and her intentions to Debling (obviously barring the fact that she’s Whistledown). Of course this is very in line with one of her main journeys for the season, which is to accept and reveal herself.

c) Colin attempts to hide the true meaning of his words to Violet when he asks her about love and friendship. Of course, he’s just so god damn transparent, bless his heart. And Violet, very sweetly, goes along with it.

And btw, after she leaves Colin to let him go approach Pen, she watches them the whole time. 💜

d) Unserious but relevant:

Not only are they literally and metaphorically sick, this pregnancy subplot also fits with the whole theme of nature.

e) The Whistledown narration. As per usual, it applies to multiple characters and their storylines. I’m obsessed with how it’s so intentionally layered onto the shots. The sequence is so incredible and so involved. I’m linking the post I made about it here in case anyone hasn’t seen it yet and is curious about what I mean.

5. I could be totally off about this one, but it looks to me like Miss Malhotra’s hair clip is designed like a compass. If it is, that would make sense because it would be on theme for the ball. But what I particularly love about the idea is that it’s also relevant to Polin. Hardcore Polin fans like to say that Pen is Colin’s compass.

6. At the end of this episode, as Colin has officially fallen in love with Pen, we see the beginning of the next episode’s theme color, red.

Which brings me to my final observation, my color theory.

I’ve said this before and I will continue to say it every time I have an insane prediction or theory: I am probably very wrong. But I’ll say it anyway…

It seems to me that each episode has a different signature color. I think 3x02 is green because Pen and Colin are starting to grow and bloom.

3x03 is yellow because, again, Pen is haunting Colin.

3x04 is red because they’re lovesick for each other.

And 3x01 is everything. It’s an explosion of color.

I think that, in many ways, 3x01 is meant to be a preview of the upcoming episodes, highlighting all of the colors. I mean, wouldn’t the presence of a “Four Seasons” ball indicate that everything is there? Everything that you would see in a year? (Or a full season of Bridgerton?) I think it probably tells us which colors will define the part 2 episodes as well, but I won’t venture to guess.

In speaking about Colin’s garden party waistcoat, the associate costume designer, Dougie Hawkes, said that it has hints about future episodes.

I have to wonder if this color thing has something to do with that. I’m also pretty sure that all of the other waistcoats Colin wears in 3x01 are ones he wears again more obviously in the other part 1 episodes. This seems to indicate, for one thing, that the garden party waistcoat is indeed special, but also that there is so much hiding in plain sight in episode 1 that will come back throughout the season. In other words, there’s probably a lot of stuff in part 2 that’s already been hinted at in 3x01…

But I dunno, I’m probably wrong about this.

Anyway, that’s all for now! ✌️

[haddonfieldwhore]

scary dog privilege pt2- ethan landry

ethan landry x alt! reader

❤️🔪 spoilers for scream 6 🔪❤️

❤️🔪 spoilers for scream 6 🔪❤️

2.2k words // part 1

warnings: mentions of death, violence, blood/gore language, one instance of y/n, not edited

❥ taglist: @breadbowser @lillunna @fanboyluvr @wroetoslut @gojosbucket

in the last 12 hours, you and ethan had grown very close, despite the more than unusal circumstances; or maybe because of them. both having been thrown into such a crazy situation, with a masked killer on the loose, it made it a little better that you weren’t going through it alone. everyone in the group had someone - tara and sam had eachother, same with chad and mindy. ethan and you were by far the most outcasted from the group, so in a weird way it brought you together.

sam and tara had been attacked by a killer in a ghostface mask at a bodega on the way to the police station last night, confirming that the murder that had happened a few hours before was in fact no coincidence. woodsboro had followed sam and tara and their friends to new york, and by association, you, ethan and everyone else were potential targets as well as potential suspects.

it was now daytime, sam and tara having spent all night at the police station. everyone except danny, sam’s neighbour friend, were sat outside the college campus, listening to mindy go over the rules of a franchise; which is what she determined you were all in at this point. sitting on the bench next to ethan with your legs across his lap, as mindy stood in front of the group.

“listen up nerds. as terrifying as this situation is, i’m actually glad i get the chance i get to redeem myself for not calling the killers last time. now, it seems like the killer is out to make a sequel to the requel,” mindy began.

“um- what’s a requel?” anika asked, raising her hand.

“sweetie, you’re beautiful. let’s hold all questions till the end,” mindy said.

“stab 1 took place in woodsboro…. stab 2 took place in…college,” sam recalled.

“i don’t like this,” ethan shook his head.

“do we think the killer is following the movies?” tara asked.

“it’s possible, and it would make sense if this was a regular sequel. but nobody just makes sequels anymore, we’re in a franchise! and there are certain rules to surviving a franchise!” mindy explained.

“i had a feeling,” sam sighed.

“everything has to be bigger than last time. forget about the legacy characters; canon fodder at this point. only brought back to be killed of in a cheap bit for nostalgia bit. it’s all about doing something different to keep people coming back: longer chase scenes, higher body count. if the killers last time were whiney, snowflake film nerds with letterboxd accounts instead of personalities, you can expect it to be the opposite this time. new city, suspicious new characters added to the friend group to round out the suspect list. and that’s not even the worst part,” mindy went on.

“oh this is where she tells us the worst part,” chad chimes in.

“the thing about franchises is that they’re ongoing episodic storylines… which means that main characters are expendable now too. meaning any of us could bite it at any time… especially sam and tara.”

“wait- am i in the friend group?” ethan asked, and mindy nodded.

“yeah i feel like i don’t really qualify,” you added. “i didn’t even know you guys 2 days ago.”

“this is true. it would seem you just have terrible timing. plus- you are from woodsboro, so that probably counts for something,” chad said, and unfortunately you realized he was probably right.

“but-i’m not like… one of the targets?” ethan asked, to which mindy nodded again and responded with a simple ‘mhm’.

“am i gonna die a virgin?” ethan asked, perhaps not realizing he said it out loud.

“that was a weird overshare.” mindy said, making a face.

���and by the looks of it i don’t think that’s gonna be a problem,” chad teased, gesturing to you and ethan. a blush formed on ethan’s face and you gave chad the finger, although you weren’t really that offended. he returned the gesture with a smile, and you knew he had just been teasing.

“first up; ethan, the shy and dorky guy who no one suspects because he’s so shy and dorky-“ mindy continued her speech.

“watch it,” you threatened, giving her a nasty look.

“why am i on the suspect list? because i’m randomly chads roomate?” ethan asked.

“roomate lotteries can be juked- you could’ve fixed it to get next to us!” she said, turning her attention to you. “and you- clearly you have some unresolved anger issues, and you suspiciously found your way into our friend group the night the killings started. not to mention the fact that you look like you know how to murder someone and get away with it.”

“for the record - i was not exactly trying to join your friend group; no offence.”

“so how did you end up with us last night?” tara asked genuinely.

“we were together at the frat party when you all left,” ethan explained. “we have econ together.”

“together.. at the party?” chad asked suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows, and tara slapped his arm. “sorry.”

“i’m in your film studies class too,” you said to mindy, ignoring chads question.

“interesting. so you also have a connection to the first victim.”

“mindy- i know you’re having your patented monologue moment, but i was at the same party as you when the murder happened. and i was in the apartment with you when sam and tara were attacked- we all were.”

“there’s always more than one killer- which brings us back to ….quinn - the slutty roomate; a horror movie classic.”

“sex positive, and… thank you?” she said, a confused look on her face.

“how exactly did you come to live with sam and tara?”

“i answered their ad online-“

“okay, say no more; you’ve already implicated yourself enough,” mindy interrupted.

“it was an anonymous ad mindy, plus her dad is a cop-“

“and that makes it more likely that she’s the killer becasue having a cop dad is a great cover- do you not remember how these movies work tara?” she yelled. “and finally; anika,” she said gesturing to her girlfriend, who blew a kiss at her, which mindy returned. “never trust the love interest.” her eyes narrowed, and anikas smile dropped.

“okay.. so we have our rules. and we have our suspects.”

“uhh what about you guys?” ethan suggested, referring to the four survivors from last years attacks.

“i think it’s safe to rule out the four of us who went through this last year,” mindy smiled.

“agreed.” chad said, pointing at her.

“well what if it is one of you. i mean what if the trauma from the last killing spree got to be too much and one… or more of you snapped.” quinn suggested.

“or- what if all of the killings made you thirsty for more? i mean to be honest some of the theories online about sam…” ethan started.

“don’t you fucking dare.” tara snapped, and he raised his eyebrows, but didn’t continue his sentence.

“ok let’s just face facts. if we’re all suspects, you’re all suspects.” anika said.

everyone silently agreed, eyeing eachother nervously as you

///

everyone was back at sam and tara’s apartment, except for ethan, who had said he was going to econ. with everything going on you decided not to go, as well you thought better to stay with the group than split up. you had tried to convince ethan to stay as well, but he said his dad would kill him if he didn’t go - he was super uptight about grades and stuff.

sitting on the couch with anika as chad, mindy, tara and sam were in the kitchen, you started to wish you had gone with ethan. what if something happened to him?

“shit,” you muttered under your breath, and anika looked over at you.

“hey… if you’re worried about ethan, i’m sure he’s fine. he’s with a bunch of people in class right?” she smiled. you were thankful for the reassurance, and to her surprise you smiled back.

“you’re right… thank you.”

“you seem cool. i wish we met under better circumstances,” she admitted, and you were a little surprised; she was one on the only people in ethan’s friend group who had been nice to you.

“yeah, me too.”

“so.. you and ethan?” she asked playfully, and you shrugged, looking at your phone awkwardly, secretly hoping he would text to say he was alive or something.

“i don’t know. we made out at the party and then… all this happened.” you said. it had been a crazy 24 hours to say the least. you wondered what you would be doing right now if you hadn’t talked to ethan at the party. “he’s cute though. it’s nice to have a … friend through all this i guess.” you weren’t sure why you were being so open with her, but you couldn’t help but feel a little better after talking about how you were feeling.

“well, i think after all this is over we could be friends. isn’t stuff like this supposed to bring people together?” she said, and you felt your phone buzz in your lap. “is that him?”

“yeah; he’s just checking in,” you answered, before typing a reply to ethan to let him know you were all okay. you typed out “i miss you” but decided against sending it, instead erasing the message and dropping your phone back on your lap. it soon buzzed again, and you picked it up, expecting it to be ethan again.

banging sounds could be heard from quinn’s bedroom, and you assumed it was her and her guest going at it again, until you heard the four voices in the dining room hush and someone mutter a quiet “oh my god.”

looking at your phone, you opened a text from an unknown number to be met with a photo of someone in a ghostface costume holding a bloody quinn, just on the other side of the door. everyone gathered next to you and anika in the living room, and you all stood in silence staring at the door to quinn’s room.

“run,” mindy spoke, and the door swung open, quinn’s body landing on you and anika, knocking you both to the floor. ghostface followed close behind and slashed at mindys arm, as chad and tara ran out of the apartment, leaving you, mindy, anika and sam. pushing quinn’s bloodied body off of the two of you, terror flashed in your eyes as the killer dove towards you, and you sent him backwards with a boot to the chest. he went after anika next, his hands wrapping around her throat and lifting her off the ground, and she squirmed around before he pinned her to the wall and drove his knife into her stomach. she screamed in pain as the killer twisted the knife and dragged it upwards, blood pouring from the wound before you picked up a dining room chair and slammed it over his back. the killer dropped anika to the ground, and you and mindy grabbed her and followed sam into quinn’s room, managing to slam the door just in time. the killer banged against it repeatedly and you turned the lock, leaning against the door as you breathed heavily.

“mindy- bathroom door,“ sam whispered, and mindy hurried to lock door on the other side of the room to the adjacent bathroom, where you heard her exclaim, you assumed at the sight of quinn’s lovers body, considering he was nowhere to be seen. sam followed walked over to the window, and you heard her slide it open as you held your hands against anikas stomach, trying to stop the bleeding.

sam and mindy screamed, the killer having come around to the other side of the door through the bathroom, throwing his body against it and trying to break open the lock. you and anika ran over, and tried to help mindy hold the door closed. after slashing at you with the knife, creating a deep gash in your shoulder blade, the four of you managed to push him out, barricading the door with a dresser. it wouldn’t hold him off for long, and he continued to kick at the door as danny, sams boyfriend next door slid a ladder over the expanse between the two windows for you all to crawl across.

“she’s loosing a lot of blood,” mindy said, referring to anika.

“say something more positive!” she cried in response, as sam started climbing out the window. sam made it across, calling for mindy to come next. you and her were using your weight to hold the dresser in place, trying to keep the killer out of the room with all of your strength.

“someone has to hold the door. y/n you go, i’ll get anika next.” she suggested instead, and you knew mindy just wanted to stay behind to protect her girlfriend. somehow even with everything that was currently happening, your mind flashed to ethan; and you were thankful that he wasn’t here, and that he was somewhere safe. “come on!”

you shrieked as the killer managed to get the door slightly open, and reach his arm through, the silver knife in his hand catching your cheekbone and leaving a long cut behind. mindy still leaning all of her weight against the dresser nodded at you to go, and you made your way to the window, grabbing hold of the ladder. sam and danny were holding it steady on the other side, and all you could think was

do not look down

do not look down

do not look down-

you crawled across the cold ladder over the alleyway below; which was surely a 30 foot drop if not further. you made it across and danny pulled you into the apartment, as sam called for anika to come next. her and mindy went back and forth on who should go across first, and anika promised to be right behind mindy. pressing a tearful kiss to her shaking girlfriends lips, mindy started her crawl across the ladder as you all held the ladder steady from the other side.

you watched as the dresser continued to shake from the killer kicking the door to get in, and anika cried that she couldn’t do it as she approached the window, her trembling hands gripping the ladder with blood covered fingers. she was bleeding badly from her stomach, but with reassurance from mindy and sam, she got onto the ladder and slowly started moving across it. she was about a third of the way across, and the four of you in danny’s apartment watched with wide eyes as the killer broke into the room with no one’s weight holding the dresser.

“what?” anika asked, noticing that all of you had gone silent.

“anika you need to move right now!” mindy and sam yelled, urging her to continue across the ladder. she looked back as the killer stabbed the knife into the windowsill, and grabbed hold of the ladder. anika screamed and held on for dear life as he began to shake the ladder up and down, and then from side to side; attempting to throw her off of it.

the four of you tried desperately to hold it steady, mindy in hysterics. begging the terrified to hurry across the ladder. she managed to move slightly forward and was almost close enough to reach sams outstretched hand, as she called for her to take it. the ladder shook hard as she tried to grab hold of sams hand, and the killer twisted it to side, causing anika to fall screaming to the ground below, her head slamming into the open dumpster below. mindy balled next to you, and you all stared across the alleyway at the killer, as he picked up the knife and walked out of view.

[team-frightfur]

Don't hate 127. Solid 4/10 by general standards. 10/10 in context. Yudias being so chad he's immune to memory removal is neat. Yuhi joining the Otesification cage match with a steel chair last second is fucking hilarious. I also think it's a nice development for the arcs of the siblings.

A few episodes ago, Yuamu was like "There's so many things which I never want to do but I have to do them because you're totally useless! I'm just doing the logical and hard thing like always!" Thing is, there was no logic. Yuamu thinks Yuga is HER descendent. Yuga's last name is Ohdo. How in the world can Yuga be born if Yuamu erases herself??? Is she gonna erase every memory except her last name?

Up until this episode, that fact had me torn between "the writers are dumb" and "Yuamu is lying". Then the Yuhi and Zeyet episode dropped and was literally built around lies. The main point of the Yuhi/Zeyet/Lying episode is that 'people (Yuhi) can say they want something (new clothes) while really avoiding something else (duelling Yuamu).'

Becoming Otes is a death of personality so, on the surface, it seems like the harder path. That's why Yuamu 'has' to do it. Then, we see in this episode that Yuamu is actually scared of losing Yuhi. "Don't leave me!" she sobs as he effectively dies in her place.

Demonstrably, the flipside of becoming Otes is having to lose someone you care about. This path is just as if not harder than the path of becoming Otes. Thus, despite Yuamu saying she 'has to do the harder thing', what she was actually avoiding (whether consciously or unconsciously; Yuhi/Zeyet Theme) was the harder path of 'losing their twin'.

Following the Yuhi/Zeyet/Lying episode, Yuhi did some introspection, realised how much of a coward he was and, after a short spell of backing out of duelling Yuamu, finally found his guts! Problem is, Yuhi bought Yuamu's feelings at face value and decided "No! I love you! So just this once, I'll take the harder path!"

In other words, Yuamu's becoming a villain actively provoked Yuhi's character growth into a more 'heroic figure' (being honest with himself, rising to the challenge, and protecting Yuamu) resulting in him accidentally taking the easier path, becoming a villain, and leaving Yuamu with the baggage.

Now, as far as Yuamu knows, she's not only lost her twin, she's going to have to 'take care' of the dead husk that remains of him for the rest of her life. Plus, now that she's in the place she'd reserved for Yuhi, she's also realised how hard this path is.

To be frank, it is BEAUTIFUL karma. Poetic, artful, lovely. I know optimism chad Yudias will eventually fix everything, but I'm still happy with this.

Unfortunately, it tops out at 4/10 because Go Rush is still a show obsessed with focusing its whole plotline on another fucking show.

[rmorde]

Trigun Manga Reaction

Continuing with Volume 1, Chapter 10!

SOOOO CUUUTTTEE!!!!! Let me stare a bit first.

...

...

...

OK! I'm good! Wait... Arcadia? Huh? Noooo! Does this mean no Woof Woof yet?!

I wonder if the font for the letter in original Japanese is different too. I always like it when this is done instead of using "quotations". It's a nice touch.

Seems like the focus of this chapter are our dear insurance ladies. Love love Milly's devotion in whatever she does. She always strives to do her best in her job, but this dedication to write to each relative she has every month is just something else. I also appreciate how she is kinda treasured for her sweet nature - from Meryl's clear guidance and their boss radar gift.

Ah, Meryl. Ask for chaos and you shall receive. LMAO. However, does she have some problems at home. Just going by her lines here.

OMFG. BWAHAHAHA!!! THESE TWO PAGES!!! 😂🤣😂

I really need to buy hard copies of the manga. This must have been a page turner shock. It looks so serious from one page, but when you go to the next? HA! IT'S VASH GETTING BULLIED BY TWO SENIORS INTO BECOMING THEIR MEAT SHIELD!!! It's such a clever and funny layout.

Admittedly, this was a bit of a busy page. However:

One of my fave drawings by mangakas are when the "break out" objects or characters from the traditional panels. That gun sticking out has a nice 3D like effect.

Speedlines to show how quickly Vash went into for real real meat shield mode for the old couple. Meanwhile, that clear drawing of his hand feels like he is about to take out his gun.

Gun and nail details and... Have I mentioned before how I never really understood the beauty of negative spaces until I started reading this manga? Just something that hit me is all.

THE INSURANCE LADIES TO THE RESCUE! ROFL! Poor Vash getting bowled over. Poor Vash's spine!

Oh my.... Let me just appreciate this for a while.

They're just so beautiful. Oh my goodness. Again let me just gush about how the volume insanely Nightow is at visually communicating scale? Not to mention clothing folds and drapes!

Another fine specimen of scaling and foreshortening! And.. did Meryl just called Vash BROOMHEAD?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Man's got a point. Unfortunately. Poor, Vash.

BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!! I CAN'T- I JUST CAN'T!!! Everyone just rolls with it for the greater good while Vash is just stressed! 😂🤣😂

Interesting set of panels:

Again with the negative space

Awww! Milly's sweet tooth and where is she exactly? I can't remember, but she must be from somewhere really stable/rich, right? I mean her family sounds big which indicates their location can support a big population. Plus, the food the she often mentions are not exactly easy to get.

Vash looking for an escape or is it?

Oh, Meryl. I love you and you usually hold the brain cell, but this one time you had been fooled! Grandpa used everything you told them earlier to lay a trap! MERYL, YOU WERE OUTPLAYED!!!

Uhuh? Oh, really? The blush makes me think she didn't think this through and is scrambling for an excuse pronto.

Also, again with that negative space! Nice because it really helps with this "transition" in the next page.

They are walking under a clear blue sky. Idk why it matters a lot to me but it does. It feels "smooth".

Huh... I wonder if Tristamp took queues from this one when they animated Meryl's joy in seeing the garden in Episode 9.

Exposition can be a slog to go through *cough*jjk*cough*. However, this exchange was not overwhelming. The lay out really helped. While some panels/boxes have overtaken by speech bubbles, there are plenty of blank spaces to make it easier on the eyes. It properly built up the last panel which made it more impactful.

This is so lovely to read and the composition is just beautiful.

Again with that negative space. There's a lot of it in the manga I realize.

It's odd to see Meryl without earrings.

Investigative Meryl Mode!

Huh?

And there we go, the rest of the Nebraska Family.

Obviously, this went really differently from the '98 anime. I don't know why I expected Woof Woof already when it's already been made obvious that both anime adaptations shuffled events around.

However, I really appreciate how Meryl and Milly got the spotlight early here. In '98, this was kinda halfway through the series. It was way waay late and Woof Woof already entered the scene.

I must say... '98 really had to get creative with the material that they had because the BDN's Arc was covered from Episodes 7-8. Then Episode 9 introduced Wolfwood. From 10 to 12 were anime originals... I think. Not yet far enough in the manga to know if they were "remixes".

Anyway, the fillers in '98 are not bad and plenty entertaining. Some of the funniest shit and badass scenes of Trigun were from those. They were great addition to the story especially since it never contradicts the characters core (sans the horn doggy-ness).

But it does screw over Wolfwood tho... just a tiny bit on hindsight. I mean if '98 is judged on its own, he is perfectly fine. However, with Tristamp giving his background (which I believe is more loyal to the manga), it is kinda odd how he didn't stuck with Vash after they met in the bus. Then again, Woof Woof has a bit of a different background in '98 which made sense... Kinda.

Augh the challenges of adapted of an on-going manga. Studio Mad had to make things up as they go, but they still did great! The inconsistency with Wolfwood is pretty minor - almost negligible... except why didn't he stick with Vash the first time? Sigh... this may nag me for a while.

Oh. Also for @revenantghost

Ok. Now I'm more excited to see more with the manga's plants.

Sorry for the confusion! When I said I prefer the 9o's version of plants, I'm mainly referring to the lightbulb design which fits the vibes of the plant angels more. It's very magitek which I really like while Tristamp uses tanks which totally make sense since its more sci-fi heavy.

The interesting thing about the plant design in Tristamp is how I can associate them with earth, sky, and water. Earth because of how they remind me of faeries, Sky because of the wings, and Water because they give me mermaid vibes as the live in their tanks. It has its own charm... but yeah magic lightbulb angel ftw!

Again... my bad for not being clear. Sorry.

I do hope we see more of the Bad Lads and eventually BDN in Tristamp properly. HARD AGREE on some lore bible or art book from Studio Orange! I think there were some supplementary materials from the limited edition DVD release tho?

That's a good way to describe Tristamp - a love letter to Trigun itself. I also respect Nightow for just letting Studio Orange do its own spin. Most creators won't be so comfortable giving other free reign in their sandbox.

Also, take good care of yourself. Make sure to get rest enough. And food! Also water!

[zhoras-bitch]

I really miss Path of the Valkyrie and Alexandra's writing in general. It sucks so hard that she won't be able to continue her work at RC. I think her writing was getting better and better over time, and while Path of the Valkyrie has some highs and lows, I was fully expecting her next project to be a total banger.

The LIs are probably my favourite aspect of her writing -- in that regard it reminds me a little of Theodora. Just the range of archetypes is impressive, and somehow they are all handed so well. Sagr's romance is a beautiful angsty slowburn which reveals the tender, caring, but deeply wounded man behind a rough exterior. Ullr's path is comforting, like coming back home. Andvari is the soft-spoken pocket-sized bf who is going to treat you like a princess and you can carry him in your arms. Thor is like a force of nature, wild and a little terrifying, and he has an absolutely fascinating set of morals that makes him actually feel kind of non-human. And Loki's path is just something else. You think you have this chaotic trickster all figured out, and the next episode he flips everything on its head.

And I also just want to shout out the female LIs in particular. Nowadays, RC is moving in a better direction in terms of making stories with more diverse casts (books like Heart of Trespia, Hell and High Water, The One, Vying for Versallies, Elite Tag in particular come to mind). But back when Path of the Valkyrie first came out, it was unfortunately the norm across RC stories to treat wlw paths as an after-though (there were occasional wins for the wlws, but it was kind of barren overall). And in contrast Liod and Vanadis paths felt like such a breath of fresh air. I mean Liod is still one of the few masc female LIs on the app. And Vanadis has such a compelling character arc about finding her voice and standing up to those who wronged her after a lifetime of objectification and neglect. They both have their roles in the bigger story and their romances feel just as genuine and authentic as the men's, rather than a side hookup.

I hope they can find a writer who will love those characters as much as Alexandra clearly did, so Path of the Valkyrie can get the ending it deserves. But even then, it's still going to be bittersweet.

[latenightdecaf]

There are just so many things that don't sit right with that ep 14. (And I won't be able to do my work today if I don't write it down.)

Honestly, I've been enjoying this drama because of its fast pacing and the way it resolves things fast and as clean as they can. I didn't mind the inconsistencies to be honest, and some gaps in history

like why the fuck was haraboji's gf, so mad in the first place anyway?? like yes she went to prison, had a son, left that son and worked for haraboji and then??

the 1031 baby miscarriage was fine not to be addressed (unfortunately, I can forgive that - given that I have friend who went through the same thing and honestly did not really confront or grieved that with her husband either - they never moved on, but never talked about it either, so fine - we move forward.)

But honestly, this episode is just different than the rest in an unsettling way.

First, the scenes were cut so weirdly... like honestly, what do they want us all to feel here? They had the most beautiful confrontation about life, yes they walked to the hotel without looking at each other. Yes, Hae In stayed true to her character not wanting other girls to look at Hyun Woo. But honestly, that shit felt shallow and her charcter could've been more. They could've walked into a restaurant after fighting, with Hyun Woo just holding her wrist and her noticing the small ways this unbelievable man takes care of her even when he's mad - opening the door, ordering her food, idk, slicing it for her. It could've been slow, it could've been realizing that he had wrinkles now, that he looked tired, that he was having a hard time too - realizing that she wanted to live and be loved by this man no matter what. That if given a chance, even as stranger she'd still surely fall in love all over again. Her as the stranger, NOT those girls who was just prying. They could've twisted that up in a melo way. (But of course, we needed the romcom so of course.)

I could not even begin to point out how weird that car accident was. As viewer, I already know she's not inside... I know that moment was needed but again for Hae In to somehow magically realize she wanted that surgery but that's just torture by now. After everything they've gone through in Yongduri, she already knows how loved she was. Things could've slowed down a bit. And I'm sure Kim Ji Won would've executed that brilliantly (hello, my liberation notes). Idk, Hae In could've had more stronger reasons to live, or that case could've been built differently. Hae In is not shallow but they made her that way and yes, by the time she'd be regaining or building her connection back to Hyun Woo that script will be back again not wanting anyone else to have him. (ugh, Hae In :( I need more!!)

Third of course, Eunseong - so far his character just became so predictable that it totally put me off. Honestly thought (based on the preview without any actual context, that Hae In would be in the car accident with Eun Seong and then he dies to save her so he can finally be someone who actually saved Hae In) but yeah. He came in so conveniently in the hospital that no one even bother to ask why this stranger is now the legal guardian of Hae In like come on. (I know it's kdrama but come on that was WAY TOO CONVENIENT)

And lastly, that fucking surgery. Every single build up, every single suspense gone. She woke up after 5-10 mins inside the drama not even a bandage to her head!! They've could've dragged that a bit, not make her wake up too soon. Mess with us up some more, have the doctors come in, tell them "these things take time". Make Eunseong nervous! But no, she had to wake up immediately. Like come on!! It could've messed with everyone if that was dragged a bit more to the next episode. They could've deported back Hyun Woo to Seoul while Hae In is still unconscious with the devil by her side. We could've been at the edge of our seats if suspense was all they needed and now it just felt too rushed and too much by now. And then, Hae In will be back in Seoul like nothing happened with her (physically) and then she's with Eun Seong now. Ugh.

But despite it all, I'm thankful for this drama. I'm still going to be there next week to see this through. Honestly, what a world-class acting from Kim Soo Hyun and Kim Ji Won.

I'm just wrapping up my thoughts so I can finally go on with my day.

Thank you all for coming to my TED talk.

[beyonddarkness]

Thoughts on Haladriel/Saurondriel

(I might be converted)

Okay, can I be COMPLETELY honest?

I always understood the shipping of Halbrand/Sauron and Galadriel, but for the sake of analyzing, I never let myself believe that there was any element of attraction from either side. Because they have a "cosmic connection," you know?

But something changed today (even though that "cosmic connection" is still very much a thing). I came to the conclusion that, while my pain for Galadriel has now increased manifold, I am so relieved from everything Morfydd said in her recent interview, particularly that the ambiguity behind their relationship was Charlie's idea (how dare he) because now I know that Charlie is Sauron, irl. Let me explain. (Prepare for a long read—bonus content at the end):

Charlie never told a lie in press.

"Were we in a relationship of seduction or power? It's up to the viewer to decide" (Morfydd).

What Morfydd said didn't give anything away. It truly leaves everything up to interpretation even more than before, and yet any way you slice it, everything makes sense. It fits with everything that everyone has said in press (the 'cosmic connection', 'it's not romantic', etc.).

Think of it this way:

------------------------

If everything was purely platonic, and Galadriel was not attracted to Halbrand in the least, then Sauron was tempting Galadriel with power. This makes sense, since we know that Galadriel left Valinor in large part because she desired to rule over a realm of her own. Power is very enticing to her.

That also means that Galadriel would never, ever, EVER think of anyone but Celeborn, which is nice. I mean, once Elves marry, that's it. No backsies. In this case, Sauron would be playing it safe, not fooling himself into thinking that Galadriel would fall for a MAN (of all things), after she has already been married.

------------------------

On the other hand, BOY is Sauron able to seduce.

Now, when we think of seduction, some of us automatically think:

But Galadriel most likely would not be enticed by an extremely forward approach. She would slap that guy so silly.

So here's why Sauron is terrifying: Halbrand is so nice.

His approach would be: Become friends first, to make it difficult to resist joining him in the end. He made himself attractive in a way that, if successful, would make her attached to him for much longer than if he was strictly flirtatious (a few thousand years should do it). He never said anything forward until their friendship developed to a certain point (1x06).

And as long as I've been denying that either side was attracted to the other, the one thing I have never been able to get out of my head is the fact that in episode 7, Galadriel called to Halbrand before anyone else. Later, she mentioned Celeborn to Theo (for the first time in presumably centuries, after she assumed Halbrand had died). Then, when she saw Halbrand again, she called him her friend, and he for some reason had to say:

"Nor will you."

Then he made that STUPID SMIRK, and poor Galadriel looked SO TORN. We just barely learned that her husband was in the picture, so he was fresh on her mind. And then we had this thrown on us, to indicate that something about this friendship was not right.

(Oh, the discomfort and second-hand embarrassment I felt for Halbrand, before I knew that he was Sauron.)

Since Galadriel hasn't seen her husband in centuries (even though she loves him a lot—I mean A LOT), she was very vulnerable to seduction, because... she was alone. Halbrand saved her life, rivaled her intelligence, didn't beg for her attention on account of her beauty, connected with her on a level that probably hasn't happened in a while, became her really good friend, made her feel free fighting at his side, etc. If that doesn't spark someone's interest, I don't know what does. (His looks are a major bonus.)

------------------------

Now, here is what's really unfortunate, and causes me pain beyond measure: Sauron wouldn't have fallen in love. But Galadriel would have, and he knew that.

No one (JD, Patrick, Charlie, and Morfydd) ever lied in any interview. Have you ever noticed that whenever they spoke of the lack of romance, they were always talking specifically about Sauron's perspective? :')

Here are some examples:

Charlie: "I mean, look. I don't see it as a... strictly—I don't know. I haven't run this past you guys [Patrick: 'Run it by!']—as a King and Queen thing. I love the reflection bit. But it's not like... I think ultimately, if she had said yes, he's very much the King, and she's like his sidekick, in terms of ruling." Patrick: "And it's not like a marriage—[Morfydd: 'How...]—proposal...—[...dare you.'] [...] Charlie: "You guys sent me something really early on. It's WH Auden, talking about good and evil in Tolkien, and the difference when it gets to evil. It's affection—I'm paraphrasing here—but affection goes out the window. And you see this relationship, and you see affection, but in the end, it's only for personal gain. [...] The whole season, you see them working together, and they have this sort of—we like to call it a 'cosmic connection'. Not romantic. [laughs] Although, I got in a lot of trouble for saying it wasn't romantic yesterday, because of the 'shipping'; the people shipping. [Interviewer: 'How dare you.'] [laughs] Yeah, exactly. And I think it's very clear on the raft that he's just using her for his own personal gain, rather than any sort of love and affection to her." (Empire Spoiler Special)

Charlie: "I think they have a 'cosmic connection', but I don't think it's necessarily, in his mind, a King and a Queen... like husband and wife kind of situation. I think it's more, 'I can use you to get what I want, and effect my designs faster.' Because ultimately, I think he would have ended up ruling by himself, whether she joined him or not. And when she says no on the raft, it angers him, but it's not the end of the world for him." (Deadline Inside the Ring)

So, if Sauron was trying to effectively seduce Galadriel into falling in love with him, it was always going to be one-sided. He would have never felt any real love towards her, but his goal would be to get Galadriel to feel something like that towards him. For personal gain.

And if Galadriel did feel something, how much more ashamed and violated would she feel in the end, knowing that he did it on purpose?

:'))))

------------------------

Here is the ultimate question:

Did Sauron tempt Galadriel with power, or seduction (or both)?

Here's the thing -> Charlie

Morfydd said in her interview that "Halbrand's hold on Galadriel was less connoted in the storylines," meaning it was more straight forward, and not much was implied. But she did not say which direction the scripts leaned, meaning Charlie said one of two things:

"Let's make it seem less romantic."

"Let's make it seem more romantic."

Either way, he's actually so mean, I can't put it into words.

Here's why both possibilities work perfectly: Every time Charlie or anyone else has talked about the lack of romance in interviews, they're always speaking from Sauron's perspective; Galadriel's feelings are wide open for interpretation. Whether Sauron tempted her with power or seduction, he never loved her. He knows how to seduce, and he does it well, but it doesn't mean he feels it. That's why I'm terrified of him, and I'm also afraid of Charlie.

Ever since that interview with Morfydd, I've realized that Charlie has a lot more to do with the character than he's letting on. He knows enough about Sauron to propose an idea that fits into the lore. The fact that the scripts were "less connoted," and he managed to convince everyone to make the relationship more ambiguous is just... GAH. How dare he!

Is it power or seduction?? Both work so well, it could very well be both at the same time! (Charlie and his ambiguities. *sigh*)

But again, it's a matter of what Sauron is tempting Galadriel with; not what he feels, himself.

------------------------

So, why am I relieved? Because Chapter 6. :)

------------------------

Bonus: Translation of the Haunting Music

It is time.

With all of this in mind, I would like to take a shot in the dark. Remember that ultra creepy/seductive part of the music in The Broken Line? A couple of months ago, I was driven crazy by the fact that right in the middle of a musical phrase, the vocals transitioned from Black Speech to Quenya, when Sauron's doing this:

I wanted to know the translation, so I used Paul Strack's lexicon. I managed to pick out most of the words in the music, but since I'm not fluent in Elvish grammar, I don't dare try to translate it. I will just give you the translation for each word, and let you decide what it means for yourself. It'll be fun. :)

Here's the music:

Here are the words (red is confirmed, purple is what I made out, and the [?] is the last word that I cannot figure out, for the life of me. So if someone could enlighten me, I would greatly appreciate it):

ash gul ishi ghash [ash] gul insangarë antani márië i cilmë [?]

Here are the translations:

Black Speech:

ash: "one" gul: "phantom" ishi: "in" ghash: "fire"

Quenya:

insangarë: "temptation" anta-: "to give, present; to add to" ni: "me, I" márië: "well, happily; goodness, good estate, being well, happiness" i: "the" cilmë: "choice, choosing"

In episode 6, Adar said in Quenya, "What I seek. Give it to me." His sentence ended with "antani". So... if "antani" comes after the subject of a sentence... "insangarë antani"? O_O

Someone please help Galadriel. I can hardly stand it. Where's Celeborn?

[rose-sophia-isabella-rogers]

A Tide That Turned Everything: Chapter V - I Yearn for You

Chapter Summary: You and Aleksander have a heated conversation about his methods. His plans cause you to finally snap. Finally seeing how he hurt you, he desperately tries to fix your relationship. Can he do it before you decide to leave?

Pairing: Aleksander Kirigan/Reader, Alina Starkov/Mal Oretsev, Ivan/Fedyor Kaminsky

Characters: Aleksander Kirigan, Reader, Fruzsi, Fedyor Kaminsky, Ivan, Vatra

Word Count: 5325

A/N: Smut alert (a really short). If you don't like it or are underage, don't read from: "You move away from him a bit." to: "When it's over, Aleksander snuggles to you.". Inspired by prompts: https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089684641/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089684664/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089683706/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089559809/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089584630/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089683626/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089584637/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089683713/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089550770/ This chapter also contains some plot from sixth episode of season two. soverennyia – sovereign

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@budugu

@intothesoul

@mizelophsun11

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy

@zeeader

Aleksander walks into your room and stops. You're no longer in bed. You're repacking.

'You broke the pattern,' he spokes up, walking inside. 'You get hurt, I get you to bed, you wake up with me sitting next to you. You woke up too early.'

'Well, I have enough of that pattern, to be honest,' you say, not turning to look at him. Silence fills the room for a moment.

'How are you feeling?' Aleksander finally asks. You shrug.

'Tired, but I'm not in pain,' you answer.

'You should rest,' Kirigan says.

'I've heard we're about to move,' you say. 'There's no time for rest.'

You pause. You turn your head slightly but still don't look at him.

'Did they tell you about what happened in Morozova's workshop?' you ask.

'Not quite,' Aleksander answers. You gather your thoughts for a moment.

'Alina, Mal and Baghra arrived shortly after us,' you start. 'Baghra and Mal stepped away at one point, so I could have a chat with Alina. Unfortunately, it led to nothing. She's not going to change her mind.'

'I can't say I'm surprised,' Aleksander sighs. 'But I am disappointed. I saw you managed to grab a few of Morozova's journals, though. I'm grateful for this.'

You're quiet. Kirigan frowns.

'What is it?' he asks. '[Y/N]? What's wrong? What did Alina tell you?'

'What did you do to Genya?' you ask quietly. Aleksander blinks.

'Genya?' he repeats. You finally turn to him. But he's once again in the shadows, so you barely see him.

'You kept her and your mother in cages,' you say. 'I guess you put her there after she tried to leave with David. What else did you do to her? That's what Alina told me. She told me to ask you what you had done to Genya.'

Aleksander is quiet for a moment. He clenches and unclenches his fist.

'I did nothing to her,' he finally says slowly. You frown. But then you look at him with disbelief. You shake your head.

'You sent your nichevo'ya at her,' you say and gasp. Things were broken and demolished. In anger. You can only guess how nichevo'ya have damaged Genya. Ruined her beauty.

'How could you?' you ask in a whisper. 'After everything she's done for you?'

'She betrayed me,' Aleksander spats. 'Do you know how much that hurt?'

'Then imagine how much she had to be hurt,' you say, clenching your fists. 'She endured the Queen's requests, demands and mockery. She had to bear with being treating like she's worse than other Grisha from everyone in the Little Palace. She… she let the King touch her, kiss her and… All for you. Because she was loyal to you. And this is how you thanked her?'

'If she was so loyal,' Aleksander says, walking toward you, 'then why did she try to run from me?'

'My guess? She was afraid. Of nichevo'ya. Of what creating them did to you. Of what losing Alina did to you.'

'I would never hurt her.'

'But you did!'

'Because she betrayed me!'

'Then you should have let her go! Instead, you showed her that she had every right to be afraid, because what she did for you didn't matter, what mattered was that she dared to leave you!'

Aleksander clenches his fists and jaw. You glare at each other with anger in your eyes. Kirigan is first to deflate.

'While I'm hurt and feel betrayed by her escape,' he says, 'I do regret I… made that decision in anger. I should have handled this differently.'

'You should have,' you agree quietly, also deflating. 'Leading with fear alone won't give you victory.'

Aleksander nods. You stand in silence, refusing to meet each other's eyes. Finally, Kirigan clears his throat.

'Rest and finish repacking,' he says. 'We will leave when you're ready.'

You nod. You wait for him to say more. But he turns and leaves. You sigh and fall on the bed behind you.

'You okay?' you hear a familiar voice.

'Physically or mentally, Fedyor?' you ask.

'Both,' your friend answers, sitting by your side.

'Physically I'm good, just tired,' you say. 'Mentally… not so well. I'm losing him.'

'Then fight for him,' Fedyor says. 'We all will go into the fire for him, but we all can see he's… losing himself. He won't last long if something… or someone… doesn't shake him up. And you're the only one who can do that.'

'I don't think so,' you say and turn your back to Fedyor. 'Not anymore.'

The Heartrender stares at you in silence for a moment. Finally, he sighs and leaves. You just stay like you are. Sad, but not crying. Not anymore.

*

You take a deep breath in and knock on the door. Hearing Aleksander's invitation, you enter his room. He's turned from you. You put your hands behind your back.

'I'm ready, General,' you say, the tone of your voice formal. 'We can depart at any time.'

'Good,' Aleksander says, nodding. He doesn't turn. You sigh quietly.

'What's our plan?' you ask.

'We're going to Keramzin,' Aleksander answers. 'We're going to make Alina come to us.'

You stiffen. Your heart almost stops.

'There's no way she's going to join us, I told you,' you say.

'I know,' Aleksander says. 'I tried the nice way, so now I'm going to force her. I promised her she and I are going to change the world. I intend to keep that promise.'

'You…' you say but you cut yourself off. Your heart breaks. He still wants her. She refuses him time and time again, calls him a 'monster' and yet he… You fight back the tears.

'[Y/N]?' Aleksander asks, noticing you wanted to say more. He turns to face you. He frowns at the crestfallen expression on your face.

'What is it?' he asks, worried. You look up at him (or at least what you think is his face, as he's as usual in shadows) with pain in your eyes.

'If you don't want me, don't mess with my feelings,' you say, your voice shaking a bit. Aleksander's eyes widen.

'What are you talking about?' he asks and takes a step forward. 'Of course, I want you.'

'No, it's not me you want,' you deny, taking a step back. 'You want Alina.'

'This again?' Aleksander sighs, stopping. 'Lapushka, I keep telling you, that I only want Alina to make this world better for all Grisha.'

'You say one thing and yet your actions prove you otherwise,' you say. 'And you know the worst part? You don't even think what you're doing can hurt me. And how much it already has.'

Tears shine in your eyes. Aleksander frowns.

'All that time you spent with Alina in the Little Palace,' you start, 'instead of spending it with me… horse riding, walking in the gardens, sleeping in the same bed… I was suffering quietly and you never even noticed.'

'I told you I had done it on purpose,' Aleksander says quietly. 'I thought you understand.'

'Oh, I do,' you say bitterly. 'But the problem is you can't even try to understand me. You say you love me and then a moment later you say you need Alina by your side.'

'Because without her we can't fulfil my plan,' Aleksander explains. 'She's just a pawn, milaya.'

You almost laugh. You shake your head.

'And yet you didn't hesitate to dress your pawn in your colours,' you spat. Kirigan stiffens. A tear rolls down your cheek.

'You claim I'm the one you love,' you say. 'And yet you never even suggested I could wear your colour.'

'It was to keep you safe, you know that,' Aleksander argues.

'We both know that's not true,' you say, shaking your head. 'I was being kidnapped and tortured because I was once your servant. But if you ever declared we're in a relationship no one would dare to lay a hand on me, the Darkling's beloved. You damn well know that.'

Aleksander doesn't answer. He knows that may be true.

'Everyone in Os Alta speculated whether we are or we're not together,' you say. 'But you never confirmed it. Or even suggested you can do it one day. I acted like it wasn't a big deal, when really it was breaking my heart.'

'I was planning to, I swear,' Aleksander says. 'With Alina… I needed her to trust me, to be loyal to me. That's why she was wearing my colours. So she would think she means more to be.'

'I guess kisses were for that as well?' you spat. Kirigan clenches his teeth.

'Do you have any idea how hard it was to listen to her talking about her feelings for you and that you may feel the same?' you ask, resigned. 'How it hurt you kissed her and a moment after I left your chambers? Or how I saw you leaving with her the Winter Fete after you handed her flowers?'

You can no longer stop the tears now. Aleksander looks at you with shock.

'I don't love her, [Y/N],' he says, shaking his head. 'Please, believe me.'

'Then why, after so many times she's rejected you, you're wearing her colours?!' you shout, losing control. Aleksander glances at his kefta and doesn't answer.

Outside, Fedyor and Ivan are standing, their hands behind their backs and their eyes looking everywhere but at the door. Fruzsi walks to them and frowns.

'Why aren't you walking in?' she asks.

'General and [Y/N] are finally clearing out their misunderstandings,' Fedyor explains. 'There's no way we're going to interrupt that.'

'Or let anyone else do it,' Ivan says, looking and Fruzsi menacingly. The Tidemaker is actually a bit nervous and scared.

Inside you and Aleksander stare at each other. He not sure how to explain himself. You sad, but no longer crying.

'I may not be your first date, kiss or love… but I want to be your last everything,' you whisper and gulp. 'But tell me Alina is the one you want and I'll understand. How could I not? She's the Sun Summoner. She will live longer than I will. She's your equal, not I. So, if you tell me that you love her, I'll help you win and get her… and I will leave. I won't stay in the way of your happiness. Because I love you and what you want matters to me the most.'

You're crying again. You want to be brave but it hurts so much. You straighten up anyway, ready to hear the rejection.

Aleksander stares at you with disbelief. He can't believe you felt like that. Nor that he let it happen. Hearing you're ready to leave… makes him panic a bit.

'Then don't leave me,' he says and looks at you pleadingly. 'Don't you understand how much it would hurt me to see you go?'

'How can I?' you ask. 'You can't even look at me or let me see you. All the time you're in your shadows. Or when I'm in your arms you suddenly push me away.'

Aleksander slowly walks toward you. He stops and for a moment none of you moves. Then, his shadows leave him. But his face is turned slightly to the side.

'I want nothing more than to hold you in my arms and look you in the eyes,' he says, his voice breaking a little. 'I was angry and in pain ever since what had happened in the Fold. But when I got you back… You're the reason why I'm smiling again. The mere sight of you makes me feel the happiest man in the world.'

'Then why…' you start but then you see how Aleksander's face is turned. His scars are away from you. Your shoulders slump.

'Oh, Aleksander,' you whisper, cupping his cheek. You force him to turn his face. He closes his eyes, as you trace his scars with your fingers.

'You don't want me to look at them,' you guess.

'I can't be your pretty boy anymore with them,' he whispers, pained. Your heart aches.

'Silly general,' you say softly and cup his face with your other hand as well. 'These scars? They're the proof that you fought in the Fold to come back to me. You fought, you won and you came back to me. You saved me. And no matter how many scars you have, how much deformed you are… you'll always be my pretty boy.'

Aleksander shivers under your touch. He opens his eyes and smiles. You smile back with tears in your eyes.

'I can't do this without you, [Y/N],' he says. 'I can conquer the world with one hand, as long as you are holding the other.'

You stare at him silently. You said your piece. It's his time to talk.

'I know you're hurt, [Y/N],' he says and grimaces. 'Mostly because of me. Also by the First Army's soldiers… even though I still don't know what exactly they did… but what is worse by me. I promised to protect you from harm and yet I myself inflicted it on you. I focused on my plan with disregard to your feelings. I was telling myself I'm doing it to keep you from leaving. But in the end, it made you want to leave. I'm so sorry, [Y/N]. I know I need to earn your forgiveness and I'm ready to do anything for it.'

'I don't know if I can trust your pretty words anymore,' you admit quietly. Aleksander panics. He cups your face, looking at you with desperation.

'Please!' he begs. 'Please, don't leave me here alone! I'll try better, I swear. I swear on my life. I'm completely, utterly in love with you. I have no feelings for Miss Starkov. You're the one that has a hold on my heart. I truly regret that I caused you to think otherwise. Please. Please, don't leave me.'

You caress his face with your fingers. This time he's the one who's crying. You want to believe he's sincere this time. Your heart still wants him, no matter how much he hurt you.

'I could never leave you,' you say finally, leaning your forehead on his. Aleksander exhales with relief. You look up at him. You rarely see him this vulnerable. This scared. He trusts you with the most intimate side of himself and you feel happiness because of it.

'Even though I've killed so many people?' he asks quietly. 'In the Fold, with it and later on?'

You take your hands in yours. You bring them together and press a kiss to them.

'Your hands are scarred from murder and yet I trust them completely,' you say softly and look up at Aleksander. He looks at you, stunned.

'So… you will stay and fight with me?' Aleksander asks. 'Against your friends?'

'Your battle is my battle,' you answer. 'We fight together.'

Aleksander smiles. You smile back. You let go of his hands and only hold one now, squeezing it tightly. He chuckles, understanding what you mean.

'Just so you know, you break my heart one more time, I'm creating my own soldiers of water with merzost just so I could throw you to them for lunch,' you threaten. Aleksander laughs and pulls you to himself. You relax. Safe and sound again. You hope that you can be alright again.

*

It is decided you leave early in the morning. So next day you're getting ready to leave, when suddenly there's a knock on the door.

'Come in,' you call. Fedyor walks in with a large box in his hands. You look at him curiously, as he places it on the bed.

'Delivery from the General,' he says with a mischievous smile.

'What is it?' you ask, tracing the box with your finger.

'Well, your kefta was ruined after the attack and you have no other,' Fedyor says, eyeing pointedly your blue shirt. 'So, my guess? A new kefta.'

'But why did he have you deliver it?' you ask, puzzled.

'Maybe it's a special kefta,' Fedyor suggests with a grin.

'How would he get it done with such a short time?' you ask. You lift the lid of the box… and gasp. You take a kefta, because it is one, out of the box and raise it in the air. Fedyor whistles.

The kefta is beautifully made and from a fine material. It is in your colours, however the cufs are black A clear statement.

'It's…' you start but don't finish.

'He's finally saying what you two are,' Fedyor says. 'But also underlines you're a Tidemaker. He doesn't take that away from you. He says you're together but that also you're your own Grisha.'

'I don't know if I want to smack him or kiss him,' you say, tears in your eyes.

'My suggestion?' Fedyor asks. 'First smack him, then kiss him.'

You laugh. The Heartrender grins.

'It's good to hear you laugh,' he says. 'Does that mean you two are good?'

'I think… there's a chance we can be,' you say and smile at your friend. 'Thank you. I wouldn't have gone through that without you. And Ivan.'

'We're always at your service, moya soverennyia,' Fedoyr says, giving you a small bow. You freeze. He winks at you and walks away. You stand still for a moment.

'Great,' you sigh and put on your new kefta. When you're ready, you join others outside.

'[Y/N],' Fruzsi says, bowing her head with respect. Others stare at you, whispering. You feel a bit nervous.

'Well, this is awkward,' you say, standing next to Fruzsi.

'The rumours of you and General Kirigan having a… relationship are now sort of confirmed,' Fruzsi says, eyeing your kefta. 'They have a lot to discuss.'

You know what she means. That everyone suspected you and Aleksander are sleeping together. Yes, Aleksander is telling them that you are someone important to him. But can you tell who exactly you are?

Your problem solves itself. You look up when Grisha gasp and look with wide eyes at the stairs. You turn around and are stunned as well.

Aleksander walks down the stairs, regal as ever. But instead of his black kefta with golden embroidery, or even his normal kefta, he's wearing black kefta with blue embroidery. Your colour. And since you have black on your kefta… he's telling everyone you're together. Tears well up in your eyes.

'Shall we?' he asks his Grisha. They quickly confirm and get on their horses. Aleksander's eyes fall on you. His look softens. Your heart skips a beat.

'I hope I wasn't out of line,' he says quietly. You shake your head with a smile.

'No. No, it's perfect,' you deny. Aleksander grins. He takes your hand in his and presses a kiss to it. You blush and get atop of your horse. Kirigan does the same and you move out.

Some time later you're at your destination. Aleksander, you and few other Grisha leave others and go on the edge of a cliff. You see an encampment of the First Army in the distance. Aleksander shows you to stop.

He stands more forward. He calls on his shadows and creates the Cut. He thrusts it forward with a grunt. It cuts the trees on its way, until finally it hits the encampment, causing the ground to open and the whole settlement to fall collapse. You and others walk closer to Aleksander.

'It's like the earth ate them up,' Vatra says, satisfied.

'The Keramzin orphanage is just north of here,' Fruzsi says.

'We stay here tonight,' Aleksander decides. Grisha look at him.

'Here?' Vatra asks with a frown. 'Before we take the orphanage? But, sir, we were hoping-'

'Hope is a lie,' Aleksander interrupts her, looking at her. 'An illusion. All in good time.'

He turns his head to you. He's worried you disapprove of his actions. But your face is impassive. You glance at him and nod slightly. Aleksander feels relieved.

Grisha turn and leave. It's just you two.

'Do you really think that about hope?' you ask. 'Weren't you hoping you'd find me?'

'And I acted irrationally,' Aleksander answers. 'Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I got you back and I don't regret the decisions I made. But my thoughts… were hazy. Eliminate hope. You gain clarity.'

'I don't think it's true,' you hum. Aleksander smiles slightly. Of course you do. You two turn and join others.

In the evening you and Kirigan are alone in your tent. You're getting ready for sleep. Aleksander keeps glancing at you.

'What is it?' you sigh, having enough.

'You have a kind heart, [Y/N],' Aleksander says. 'And yet you didn't even flinch when I used the Cut on the First Army today.'

You're quiet. Your back is turned to him.

'Was it because they tortured you?' Aleksander asks. 'Did they torture you that bad?'

Memories flashes in your mind. Your grip on your kefta tightens. You close your eyes.

'Yes,' you answer. 'But that's not all that they did to me.'

Aleksander is quiet. He's known something else happened. So, now, that you're ready to talk, he's afraid to ruin it and cause you to close yourself in again.

'That day I called for you at last, Vasily came to me,' you say. 'He wanted to give me his… "protection", since no one but Alina trusted me. In return he wanted… me to visit his chambers at night.'

Anger boils in Aleksander. He clenches his fists and grits his teeth. His nostrils flare.

'He dared…' he growls and clears his throat. 'I should have tortured him before his death more.'

'I didn't agree,' you say and close your eyes. 'But he expected that. I refused him once already. So, his men entered the room. Vasily left and they… they took… advantage of me.'

Aleksander freezes. His eyes open wide with shock. Shadows form around him, ready to explode from his rage. But he calms down at once, seeing your shaking form. He rushes forward and wraps you in a hug.

'My love, I'm so sorry,' he says, pressing you to him. 'I'm so sorry. So sorry. It's my fault. You shouldn't have gone through that. I'm sorry.'

'It's not your fault,' you whisper, trying to hold back the sobs. 'And you heard me. And you came. You stopped them from hurting me more.'

'And I will make sure they will never do it again,' Aleksander says and presses kisses to your head. 'I swear this to you, milaya. They will pay.'

'They already did,' you say. 'They died in the Spinning Wheel. And I know they weren't here. But when you used the Cut, I felt as if I was taking revenge on them. That's why I… didn't even flinch. Am I a bad person?'

'No, lapushka. You're a good person. I don't deserve you. After what has been done to you, you have a right to feel that way. You're human after all.'

'With powers.'

'But still human. Which also means it's okay to cry. Let it all out. Please. Don't close yourself from me. Let me in, [Y/N]. Let me be your shelter. Your home.'

At those words the tame breaks. You sniffle… and start sobbing. You press yourself into Aleksander and cry. He hugs you and murmurs comforting words into your ear. You feel as if something heavy has been lifted from your shoulders. And Aleksander is glad you've finally trusted him to share your pain with him.

*

Ever since the Little Palace was attacked, it hasn't been unusual for you to be woken up by nightmares. It happens again that night. But this time it's not your nightmare, which makes you confused for a moment. But when you hear Aleksander's whimpers, you sit up straight at once.

'Aleksander?' you ask, as you try to light up a candle. When you manage, you turn to him. He's tossing in the bed, his face covered with sweat and twisted.

'Aleksander?' you ask, reaching to him. 'Wake up, pretty boy. It's just a-'

The moment you touch his shoulder, shadows attack you. You jump back, startled. Suddenly, though, nichyevo shows up in front of you, defending you from the shadows. Your eyes go wide. You shake your head and try to wake up Kirigan again.

'Aleksander, wake up,' you say. This time Aleksander's arm hits you. You yelp and fall out of the bed. But before you hit the ground, nichyevo catches you and gently puts you down.

'Alright, time for drastic measures,' you sigh. You stand up and bring your hands together. In the next moment, water splashes on Aleksander's face. He sits up abruptly, gasping and coughing, his eyes wide.

'Aleksander?' you ask hesitantly. Kirigan turns his face to you. You look at him apologetically and sit down by his side.

'I'm sorry, but you didn't want to wake up,' you say and caress his hair in a soothing manner. 'You had a nightmare.'

'Yes,' Aleksander says. 'Yes, I had.'

He hides his face in his hands, breathing heavily. You look at him with worry.

'Aleksander?' you ask quietly. 'Talk to me. Please. You know it will help you.'

Kirigan is quiet and still. You bite your lower lip.

'Was it about what happened in the Fold?' you ask. 'With Alina?'

Aleksander shakes his head. You cup his face and make him look at you.

'Then what was it?' you ask. 'Let me help you. Like you always help me. Let me return the favour.'

Kirigan smiles softly and cups your cheek. Your foreheads touch.

'You're already saving me, milaya,' he says and exhales shakily. You wait. You can't push him more. He has to open up to you on his own.

'I dreamt about the time I was little boy,' he finally starts. 'I told you this story.'

He stops for a moment. You don't rush him. You return to caressing his hair. He closes his eyes, relaxing under your touch.

'I was lonely because my and my mother's powers were different,' he goes on. 'And Grisha were treated even worse than now. I… I thought I finally found a friend. Annika.'

'I remember,' you say, nodding. 'She was a Tidemaker like me, right?'

'No one is like you,' Aleksander denies and exhales shakily. 'I thought my mother and I finally found a home. At least for some time. And that I could be a normal kid with friends. But Annika found out I'm an amplifier and she…'

'Tried to kill you,' you finish quietly.

'I used the Cut for the first time then.' Aleksander whispers. 'I didn't mean to. I just wanted to survive. All my life has been about that. Surviving. Until I met you.'

He looks you in the eyes. You caress his cheek.

'I'm not the first woman you've fallen in love with,' you say quietly.

'It's different with you,' Aleksander says, shaking his head. 'With others I knew they would die before my time. And it hurt every time they did. But if I were to lose you… it would end me. I'd rather give up my eternal life than to see you die.'

You look at him softly, moved by it. Aleksander turns his head and presses a kiss to your palm. Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. He looks at you with worry.

'I didn't hurt you when you tried to wake me up, did I?' he asks. You shake your head.

'Your nichyevo protected me,' you say and frown. 'Which puzzles me. It's not the first time. In the Spinning Wheel I thought you ordered it to save me. But now you were asleep…'

Aleksander is quiet for a moment. He takes your other hand and intertwines your fingers.

'When I was creating them,' he starts, 'I was doing so to survive. I thought to myself that I have to survive to come back to you and keep you save. Because of that my nichyevo'ya have two primary directives. To protect me and most importantly to protect you. Even from myself. Protecting you is even more important than protecting me.'

'Hypothetically… if we two were to fight… who would your nichyevo'ya defend?' you ask. Aleksander caresses your cheek.

'You,' he answers without hesitation. You're stunned by it. You smile weakly and kiss his nose.

'Then good thing I don't intend to fight you,' you say. Aleksander chuckles.

'That is a relief,' he agrees and smiles. 'Because like I said, I can conquer to world if you hold my hand. Even if we don't have the Firebird. Or even know where to look for it.'

Your smile falls. Somehow, in all of that, this slipped your mind. You hesitate. But you don't really have a choice. The Grisha that were with you already know about it.

'While I was talking with Alina… others were listening to Baghra and Mal's conversation,' you say quietly. 'She told him that there was no Firebird. That the third amplifier was… her sister. And that this ability was passed on through generations.'

'So we're looking for a descendant of my aunt,' Aleksander says, excited. 'I don't suppose my mother knows where they can be?'

You're quiet for a moment. Before you can tell the truth, Kirigan guesses it.

'The tracker,' he guesses. 'He's the Firebird. That's why he was able to find the others. That's why he can always find Alina.'

You nod. You look at him, your look hardening.

'Don't you dare killing him, Aleksander,' you say. 'We may be on opposite sides, but he's still my friend.'

Kirigan sighs. He closes his eyes for a second.

'We can't let Alina get the third amplifier, my love,' he reminds you. You shake your head.

'Alina would never hurt Mal,' you say. 'She'll try to find another way. We can use that to our advantage. Please.'

'Very well,' Aleksander sighs after a moment. 'We'll try to find another way as well.'

You relax, relieved, and hug him. He holds you against him tightly.

'Aleksander?' you ask after a moment. 'You know I'll never betray you? I'll always stand by you. You're not alone.'

'It means so much to me, lapushka,' Aleksander says, his voice breaking a little. '[Y/N], can I… I… I need you. Please.'

You move away from him a bit. You press a kiss to his lips.

'I need you, too,' you whisper. Aleksander quickly takes your mouth with his. The kiss quickly becomes heated and passionate. You barely notice when you both lose your clothes.

'[Y/N]…' Aleksander whispers and places you on the bed. 'My love…'

You put your arms around his neck and press him to you. You gasp when he enters you.

'Aleksander…' you moan and kiss his jaw. 'I love you. I love you so much.'

Kirigan groans and starts moving in you. He's slower than usual. He wants the pleasure to drag on. He kisses your body, whispering sweet things and promises to you. You do the same to him.

'Moya lapushka,' Aleksander whispers, rubbing your clit. 'Come for me. I feel you're close.'

'You first, pretty boy,' you gasp. Kirigan chuckles. But a few more thrusts and you're coming undone together, moaning each other's names.

When it's over, Aleksander snuggles to you. It's unusual, but you know he needs it. Right now, he's not the fearsome Darkling. He's lonely boy named Aleksander, forced by many things to become someone who he never wanted to be.

You put your arms around him and hug him. Your look hardens in a quiet determination. You will make sure he wins. And most importantly, survive. You will not let anyone else hurt him nor his soul.

I am coming for all the monsters that ever touched him. I am coming for all the ones who twisted his starts into shadows. They turned him into a nightmare, so I'm going to be theirs.

And they will never wake up…

A/N: Thank you for reading! Let me know your thoughts! Reblog, like and comment if you could.

This can also be found on Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49965037/chapters/126629104

[mr-danger-to-my-sanity]

Legend of Da Yu'er / Legend of Xiao Zhuang (2015)

In my desire to watch everything Liu Xueyi has been in that I can find, and mixed with a dash of "I watched this so you don't have to", I'd like to introduce you to Ezhe, the biggest asshole on the Mongolian plains. When looking for more pics from this show I came across a weibo post where someone said "all the worst things a man can do in a drama was given to him", and they're not wrong. This is him.

The basic premise of the show is the life of Da Yu'er, the most beautiful woman in all of Mongolia who lives an unfortunate parallel to Helen of Troy in that she is desired by men who go to war over who should have her. Ezhe is one of them.

(Trigger warning for abuse & sexual assault)

We first meet him at the marriage tournament of our female lead, princess Da Yu'er of the Khorchin tribe. Ezhe is the prince of the Chahar tribe who is confident he will win the horse racing and archery contest, but doesn't hesitate to threaten his fellow competitors for good measure. And for most of the tournament he is winning! Until the Jin Emperor Huangtaiji who has been a spectator thus far, decides to throw his hat into the ring and beats him in the last race, claiming Da Yu'er as his concubine. Ezhe claims that this was all set up ahead of time and is an insult to his tribe to be played like that, setting himself up as an antagonist for both the Khorchin tribe and the Jin Emperor.

(Dont let the wispy lock of hair fool you, things are about to get BAD)

The Khorchin leader offers Ezhe a marriage with Da Yu'er's cousin which is accepted by his father, but Ezhe is HORRIBLE to his new wife for the sole crime of not being Da Yu'er. He strangles her, threatens to torture her for his own amusement and kills her blind mother by pushing her headfirst into a wall. Eventually she has to pretend to be crazy just to get him to leave her alone.

But a truce marriage isn't enough for Ezhe or his father, both of whom think their tribe should be at the top, so they lay siege to Khorchin, only to eventually retreat when the Emperor sends reinforcements.

He disappears for a few episodes only to come back and attack Khorchin again, this time taking their leader (Da Yu'er's grandfather) hostage, and will only exchange him for Da Yu'er, regardless of the fact that she is now the Emperor's favourite concubine. He settles for initially exchanging her grandfather for the male lead Prince Dorgon (the Emperor's brother and the man that Da Yu'er actually loves) to be his hostage instead, threatening to kill Dorgon if Da Yu'er isn't handed over in 3 days.

Ezhe also knows about the weird love triange between the Emperor/Da Yu'er/Dorgon and taunts Dorgon about it at every opportunity. When the deadline is up for the exchange/execution, Da Yu'er shows up at the last second and agrees to his demands only to trick him and run off with Dorgon, leaving Ezhe with a knife to the hand and an even bigger rage boner.

Several episodes later it is now 6 years since Ezhe lost the marriage tournament (and we know this because he keeps harping on about it). Da Yu'er is travelling through the region to escort a new bride back to the palace when their carriage is ambushed and they are kidnapped by Ezhe. Even Ezhe's father thinks this is a dick move but can't convince Ezhe to release them.

(Dad saying what everyone else is thinking)

Ezhe threatens to kill the extraneous woman plus Da Yu'er's cousin who had tried to help them flee, forcing Da Yu'er into tearfully agreeing to marry him. They have a quick wedding offscreen before he drags her to the marriage bed, but he is thwarted by too many layers of clothing which allows enough time for Dorgon, Da Yu'er's brother and some guards to rescue her, and Ezhe is forced to retreat again.

(Have some insufferable smirks for getting this far)

After the death of his father, Ezhe becomes the leader of the scattered Chahar tribe at the same time the Jin Empire is in the process of fighting back the Ming Empire. To save having to fight wars on two fronts, the Jin Emperor sends Dorgon to make a truce with Chahar, inviting them to surrender and assimilate into the Jin Empire. Ezhe naturally refuses and battles with them instead, even poisoning the lake to weaken the Jin army, but in the end is still outnumbered. Ezhe agrees to meet Dorgon to surrender but uses the meeting as a last ditch attempt to kill him, but is captured and his mother surrenders on behalf of the Chahar.

The Jin Empire is successfully rebranded as the Qing Empire, and as the leader of the Chahar, Ezhe is given a title and a ministerial position. He can now mock Dorgon with impunity and waltz around the palace and follow Da Yu'er to his smirking little heart's content. He doesn't even care that his first wife has become the Emperor's newest concubine, or that the Emperor had betrothed him to another princess for the sake of unity, he only cares about Da Yu'er. He looks for every opportunity he can to point out that she is technically his wife since they had a wedding and invites her to run away with him. When that doesn't work he sneaks into Da Yu'er's palace and tries forcing himself onto her, chased off by her maid smacking him over the head with a paperweight.

The next time he attempts to forcibly consummate his dubious marriage, Ezhe drugs Da Yu'er and manages to get shirtless before the Emperor and all of his guards descend on the bedroom and finally drag him off to prison. Even in prison Ezhe is defiant and mocks the Emperor to his face for wanting to only exile him and not kill him, declaring that he is happy to die for love. But he doesn't go without a fight, breaking free from his restraints and fighting the Emperor's bodyguard before turning his blade on himself to insist on Da Yu'er's innocence.

(Totally understand the desire to chain him up and strangle him.)

Ezhe: "It is distinguished and admirable to die for love. I will be elegant and unconventional if I die this way."

~~~

(It was here where I stopped watching because I thought he was dead and then wrote the following:)

Can I make any case for positives? He genuinely mourns the death of his aunt and his father. He obeys his mother when she surrenders, and appears to treat his sister well when they're in the palace. And despite never caring what Da Yu'er wants, when the Emperor catches them together and sets to punish her for adultery, Ezhe takes full responsibility and pleads to the Emperor not to punish her.

So... he's a romantic, if in a very twisted way? Oh good gods this probably the way people romanticize real life serial killers. At least Ezhe is a *fictional* asshole.

~~~

But this behind the scenes picture of Liu Xueyi in a costume I hadn't yet seen prompted me to watch further and lo and behold, the Emperor called for the imperial physician to save Ezhe's life, and he was in a coma and being cared for by Dorgon (of all people). When he wakes it is 9 months later (to coincide with the birth of Da Yu'er's son and the rumours of his parentage). Ezhe is weakened so much that he has lost his martial abilities and the Emperor chooses not to punish him any further in order to keep the peace. Ezhe relays his gratitude to Dorgon for his caregiving and his apologies to Da Yu'er for hurting her. He even tries to turn away his fiancee, calling himself a "wicked sinner" but she sticks by him and he begins to reform his ways.

For the next 14 episodes he disappears off the screen until it's 6 years later and the Emperor is dead. Dorgon (now the Regent for Da Yu'er's Emperor son) comes to visit Ezhe, who has been living a quiet life outside the palace with his wife and son, spending his time reading holy books. Dorgon invites Ezhe to join him in battle against the last of Ming army to which he readily agrees.

Under Dorgon's command, Ezhe leads an elite team of soldiers to pretend to be allies and mislead the enemy, helping the Qing army close in the ranks around them. Side by side with Dorgon he fights the last Ming General into retreating into the woods. Ezhe protects Dorgon by diving in front of the general's guandao/polearm, spitting up blood but not conceding. The enemy general slices off Ezhe's right arm at the shoulder, but Ezhe grabs the polearm with his left hand and proceeds to beat the general back with a series of mighty kicks until Dorgon captures him once and for all. The adrenaline of the fight gone, Ezhe hits the ground like a fallen tree, and Dorgon cradles him in his dying moments. Ezhe has finally paid back Dorgon for saving his life and is happy to die a dignified death on the battlefield after being weak for so many years, with one final request.

With his last breath, does he ask for Dorgon to say goodbye to his wife for him? To look after his son? To bury him next to his father in the Chahar plains? No, Ezhe's last dying words, true to form, are "Take good care of Da Yu'er for me."

(Thats the end, congrats, have some battle scowls.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Notes on his reform: Ezhe does end his arc in a lot better form than he began, but it was still very self centered. When he woke from his coma, his gratitude and respect was for Dorgon to whom he apologised for the hurt he'd caused. It was only after Dorgon pointed out that he'd hurt Da Yu'er the most that Ezhe asked Dorgon to pass on his apology to Da Yu'er too. No mention at all of the torment he put his first wife through, or how he endangered his own people on many occasions for his own desires. He throws the fish back into the pond when fishing because the fish "is a living thing", but is still wishing he had the strength to fight back when the Emperor's son insults his pride. Although his wife and son appear to have a happy life when we briefly see them, Ezhe refers to his domestic life as his time "being weak" and eagerly riding off into battle. And his dying words? Take care of Da Yu'er "for me." She's the bloody Empress Dowager at this point, but he's still thinking of her through the lens of his association with her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Would I recommend watching?

For the story? It's a palace drama with a very soap opera vibe, which got a little much for me so I only skimmed through it to keep up just enough with the plot. I liked the main characters but was not as invested in them to keep watching after Ezhe died, but it certainly wasn't boring at any point.

For Liu Xueyi? If you've read this far then you're at least aware of the godawful shit Ezhe does and if you want to see him glare and smirk and fight his way through the show with a curly wig and some big jewellery then go for it. He's a great antagonist and his fight scenes are really quite good. (And if you only want to watch the episodes he's in, I can give you a list).

This was a surprisingly bigger role than I expected it to be for his second drama, and could very well be his OG Asshole character (I haven't found his first drama yet so can't attest to his character in that) so if you've ever wondered why he gets cast as assholes as often as anything else then this might just be the reason why.

This show is listed on MyDramaList as The Legend of Xiaozhaung, but I found it with English subtitles on YouTube as The Legend of Da Yu'er.

Costume Gallery:

[lesbiangummybearmafia]

The Gilded Age, 02x05 Close Enough to Touch, my thoughts...

Omg I'm so happy for Aunt Ada! It was brilliant she didn't allow her fears to stop her marring the Reverend Forte. Their so sweet together. I understand that Aunt Agnes had to marry that man she did and as result had a horrible marriage but I'm glad the Reverend Forte pointed out to her that it was for her own selfish reasons she didn't want Ada to marry him and not because she was trying to protect Ada. I'm also glad Aunt Agnes got her head out of her butt and went to the wedding! Because no matter what she said under the grumpy exterior I want to believe she actually happy for her little sister. Now I want them to find a man for Aunt Agnes, wouldn't that be amazing to see!

Ok I completely annoyed by the whole Peggy and her boss thing. How played out, over done, so predictable and well just lazy is that?! Why can't they make her character smarter than that. Be all like oh hell no fool, you're married. Yes we had a scary fucking moment back there but no we don't need to be kissing or anything else. Because it makes Peggy's character come off as less than she is, less intelligent, less brilliant. It does such a deserves to her character!

But Bertha's staff was so not on our watch mf! I freakin love them. Especially Church making sure the Duke didn't end up with a lap full of hot soup. And Watson for catching on to what was going on in the first place! Bertha needs to give them and Mrs. Bruce a rise!

Oh I loved, loved watching Turner's plan at revenge go up in smoke. Omg Mrs. Fish comments perfectly just hitting Turner's last nerve lmfao!! God their making me truly hate her.

Bertha's dinner party gown was so beautiful. I do like seeing all the lighter colors this season and flower prints. I thought Bertha was rather cute when she kept checking to make sure everything for the dinner was perfect and all her staff kept reassuring her. I would like to see more moments like that where she's well cute. When Gladys tried to walk further down the talk, Bertha all come back here you lol. I so knew one of the main reason Bertha wanted to meet the Duke was because of Gladys. If she gets her way Gladys is going become a Duchess. It was great Bertha and George are not longer fighting omg. I didn't realize how heavy that made the show until the episode. Even with the events with Peggy unfortunately the episode still feel lighter.

Oscar and Maude Beaton are very sweet together but I don't want to see Maude get hurt. If Oscar actually loves her, perhaps like one loves a very dear friend or a best friend than maybe it's alright but if not. He definitely needs to stop acting like any kind of goldigger though! I just really want him to have honest feelings for Maude is all.

Marian if she doesn't want to be with Dashiell Montgomery ok. But her doing cringie face everytime he said something in that direction is getting old and annoying. Could she please grow the same spine for herself she seems to have for everyone else.

It's so awesome they put in about Emily Warren Roebling the first female engineer. That whole thing Larry finds out is completely ture part of history. I really appreciate the show added. It's important that our women's history finally be included.