#she is so receptive ^.^ i love her
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yayy i made my first friend ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ ♡ went 2 my manager's birthday thing today and got to exchange numbers w a coworker who lives in the area ^.^ she is a Columbian lesbian.
i felt like trying to meet other leftist qtpoc was rly specific to hope for but i didn't expect my first friend here to be one!!! 😭💕
#wauuggghhhh#ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ ♡ i love my goddess. i asked her 2 help me make friends this lunar cycle after she helped me sm w my move n getting settled#the last cycle and i did not expect to make a Friend so soon... this months focus is making friends :3 ♡#she is so receptive ^.^ i love her#🛐#i don't have many requests.. but when i do i ask her on the night of the full moon and then yeah <3
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'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it#i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition#but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body#not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways#but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth#valuing and exploring and treasuring#i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible#but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body?#it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head#and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude#this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example#like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than#violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body#to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities#like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia#so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you#even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by#what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems#Casey Plett#she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her#this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger#i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial#she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies#that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era#it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it#i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience#said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip#personal nonsense
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it’s crazy how much having a safe place to be yourself and express your identity and personality and interests, both online and irl, can change your will to live. honestly.
#i came out to my fav professor/mentor today#it was kind of impulsive but idk#she’s just made me feel so safe and supported and cared ab#that honestly all i wanted to do was tell her#and hear what my new chosen name sounds like when she says it. idk.#anyway she was So incredibly receptive and understanding and supportive#like she said things i needed to hear that i didn’t even know i needed to hear#at one point she essentially reassured me that she doesn’t and won’t ever love me any less as a boy#and she immediately wanted to call me by my chosen name and use my preferred pronouns#and she kept telling me too that there’s no pressure or need to stress and that if i ever wanna adjust the name or pronouns i can#and that gender isn’t a fixed thing ofc#she told me that she’s proud of me too#god i’m so luckyyyy dude#i feel so loved and cared about#also i said in an email recently that i was looking for a part time job (like totally as a separate thing i mentioned bc of scheduling stuff#and totally unprompted today#she started talking to me about getting a paid position for me set up with some grant money ig??#which we were already tentatively planning on doing next semester#but bc she saw me say that she’s trying to get it set up now 🥺🥺#AGH i kinda love my life rn#but i’m so terrified to and im even more afraid to admit that#anyway so sorry this is an excessive amount of tags#silas speaks#vent#trans#transmasc#trans masc#transgender#queer#lgbtq+
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had the awful revelation that navigating is most likely about SAI the other day and it’s ruined my life. “i find my self esteem, then turn so cold” “kinda feels like everybody leaves. feeling the reality that everybody leaves.” i feel SICK
#‘give me some advice. i am wasting all this time.’ tyler we fucking failed you i’m so sorry#nav was already my fav (tied w atrofd obviously) but now it guts me in an entirely new way#god just reading the lyrics makes me fucking cry#this is breaking my heart. we hurt him so much.#i’ve always loved sai but we absolutely did not give her the accolades she deserved#let alone what we gave their other albums#i hope the reception to clancy helped heal his heart at least a bit#god. i’m just so sorry#blabble#tøp#twenty one pilots#scaled and icy#clancy#SAI#tyler joseph#navigating
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MR. & MRS. WESKER 🤍
i was able to commission the lovely @rcehb-art on twitter for this piece of diana and wesker during their strange after-the-fact reception for their very private wedding. i am just so in love with this and how it turned out, and i can't thank rc enough !! she is so kind and amazing to work with and i can't recommend her enough if you're looking to commission artwork ♡
#commissions.#oc: diana#pair: ewskers#or should i say drs. albert & diana wesker 🖤#i literally haven't stopped staring at this since receiving the final product !! & just the whole process was so much fun & i loved seeing#it all come together 🥺 i'm just aaaaaa i adore this sm !!! also okay i think i have talked about this on here before but these two didn't#actually have like a ''wedding'' but they eloped then a bit after that alex & the birkins found out they had gotten married without telling#anyone (they knew they were engaged but yeah there were no wedding talks so to speak) so then they sort of pushed them to have some sort of#reception at least & celebrate things kinda...like they thought he would've made a big deal out of things but these two aren't all that#fussed with the idea of weddings or marriage in general (there's a lot of lore here i swear. especially on diana's part like some of you#know) so they were very private about it all !! but yes here you can see them gossiping & talking shit about umbrella employees 🤭#also this goes without saying but pls don't use or touch this at all as it's a commission & diana is my oc !! i didn't think i would need to#say that but precautions now after things that have happened on here & unfortunately made me less active...diana is very very special to me#so yeah :] and ofc never repost art that isn't yours !! that being said please go & support rc !!! she's amazing & all of her art is so so#gorgeous & she's just the absolute sweetest & a beloved mutual of mine 🤍🤍
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she was going through it. and no, i did not choose the angry option in trespasser, no matter how good it is. sad works better for her.
#honestly i do want to replay her file. im missing a lot of screenshots of moments i want for her.#and id make some decisions differently#oc: annette trevelyan#cullen rutherford#dragon age inquisition#also like. look. i love the inquisitor eloping in the middle of the exalted council but i cannot stress how much annette would not do that#she is still a political creature. which cullen knows. they compromise and have a small wedding not super long after cory dies#but the reception is larger. he gets to keep their vows theirs and she doesn't have to spit on all her diplomatic efforts#and also given they marry almost two years before trespasser. they have a 3 month old daughter during.#thats why the 'i dont want to die' line works better for her. to save everything she cares about she has to walk away. as shes dying.#also cullens family is at their wedding. and so are annette's younger siblings#vultures and dragons#ship: took fuck orlesians too literally
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it sure would be nice if the people in my life would tell me anything about things that involve me
#friday chats#having to badger my upperclassmen roommates about what things they're bringing to the dorm to share#bc i've never done this before and would like to be prepared before we move in in a month#and i asked my mom when an upcoming wedding reception was (bc she didn't tell me the freaking DATE)#and she was like ''oh i thought you didn't want to go!'' even though when she ASKED ME i said ''yeah sure i'll go. sounds fun''#and the number of times i've been at home and realized ''huh i haven't seen dad in a few days. wonder where he is''#and mom tells me he's on a trip THAT NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT in fucking. australia or some other far-off place#for the love of GOD can people be TRANSPARENT with me for ONCE#(my only solace is that when i complained to my grandma (dad's mom) about it she said she had to badger him to give her a schedule as well#so it's not just a me thing. still pisses me off though)
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#the wedding was lovely and i am so sad#managed to get most of the sad out of the way Friday and Sunday so i could be glad for them on the actual wedding day#but still. i'm going to miss her.#we always talked about living together and we never did and now we probably never will#i've got a model of married folk living together in community but i don't think they do and it has to be something you choose#her family are lovely and i was really glad to meet her friends and cousins that she talks about so often but they don't really get it#they get to have her!!! she's moving somewhere that's more convenient for literally everyone other than me! (this is not hard to do)#really good to get home and hug my dad and my little sister and have people who are my people around#was actually really good at the reception that there were a few other folk from my current town - i wasn't the only person who was#mixed joy and tears#i said something about us giving her over in my speech and they said yes that's exactly how we're feeling#but it wasn't till her husband responded to that in his speech that i started crying#everyone has been so kind to me but it has been SO good to get home#hoping i can get a bit more sleep as well. emotions are bigger when tired even though they're real still#(her cousins invited me to come stay any time and tbh i can see that living in Auckland could be actually really nice if you live where they#do. but i couldn't live where they do and do the work i want to do it is quite far away from the places in Auckland i could imagine working)#rowena adventures#btw no photos of me currently but probably some later??? not that we took many the groom had been sick the previous week and was#still pretty wiped so they got like two photos with the bridal party and ten with just them and that was it
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anyway so im rewriting the specials to get yaz in there right and you kinda need her out of the way for wild blue yonder so im keeping her in the tardis to do the manual part of the repairs i guess but just the idea of yaz being There but Just out of sight but very much like,,,,Present, as an agent in the story, while this interaction happens:
which is then Immediately followed by the tardis with her inside Disappearing, just lends a whole lot of fuckin,,,,,,,depth of flavour that you really dont even need to do anything for
#the hardest part of this is figuring out the donna&yaz dynamic for me#i cant write donna ive never written donna#i feel like donna would be sooort of approaching yaz like she approached martha back in s4#but i dont think yaz would be as receptive to that as martha#bc yaz. is. in much the same state as the doctor is. in terms of trauma and running on fumes and lets just keep running and not talking#except that she /didnt/ just regenerate to become weirdly honest about her affections#she still loyal devoted 'shes fine shes fine' never told anyone running from home just said goodbye to one of her best friends#And also to maybe her first real romantic love who Died But Didnt#dealing with all of that as quietly as shes dealt with alll the rest of it up till now#thrown into this situation where she knows no one and the doctor knows everyone and everyone knows the doctor but she knows no one not even#this doctor#all that just to say. i dont think she'd be very friendly with donna#polite. mostly. probably. but also having lots of feelings#that are gonna be...........difficult..........i think for all three of them to deal with#bc donna doesnt know what shes dealing with in terms of doctor/yaz#maybe she assumes a friend. or else a rose or a martha situation. bUT. yaz is none of those#yaz isnt making hearteyes or Yearning In Secret at this point yaz is grieving and also i think trying to figure out her place#shes more of a river situation. not really. comparison doesnt entirely work. but like. river in the library. vaguely#more that than the secret crush thing that it was#and the doctor knows Exactly whats going on with yaz but yknow. Busy. and they havent really had a moment alone to talk abt it#if theyre gonna talk abt it#and donna is pushing the doctor in their familiar dynamic and yaz is just sort of...........squished between that#trying to stand her ground while not even really knowing where or what that ground even IS#anyway so. tldr. Complicated#complicated dyanmic and complicated to balance so i dont sacrifice any of the doctor&donna stuff#which might happen a little anywaybc i have a clear yaz bias but im trying to mitigate it as much as i can
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Had a dream last night that two of my best friends came to stay with me and also Mabel was alive 🥹
#we were all tucked up in my bed with me in the middle#every time i opened my eyes one of them was like ‘omg do you need anything??’#she tried to bring me an energy drink and a glass of water. and then turned on a tv i don’t have & put on a movie with the sound down#i ‘woke up’ still in the dream and one of them was gone so i went downstairs to make the other one a hot chocolate#it was a ridiculously complicated hot chocolate. it was like the luxury hot chocolates i used to make at work#and i look round and i see mabel standing at the kitchen door patiently waiting for her lunch and i’m like ‘MABEL. BABYYY’#so i tried to let her out the patio door but the key wasn’t in the patio door and also the garden gate was open#i couldn’t find the key and i was like ‘mabel must need to pee. like. she must’#i ended up putting her on a leash (she was deaf & senile & had zero recall so couldn’t be unleashed even on the driveway)#and we were about to walk down the driveway into the garden so she could pee there and then i was going to close the gate & try to find the#patio door key. i woke up before i could do any of this or finish making the hot chocolate#i was happy but also sad that i woke up. i miss my little mabel. i miss her face#at some other point in the dream i remember seeing her half asleep in her basket and i was just like 🥺🥺🥺#i just wanted to stand there and look at her because i knew she wasn’t supposed to be there and i wanted to enjoy however long i had#with her. and that’s something i don’t think i always did when she was alive. and the guilt eats me up#she was so loved. i loved her so much. but i wish i’d given her more. i wish i’d been less annoyed by her quirks#like how she could never be let off a lead and how she used to stare at me for hours even though she didn’t want anything (had been fed#recently; wouldn’t go for a walk or play with me if i tried; wasn’t receptive to attention)#if she came back for the day and all she wanted to do was stare into my soul i would be so happy. i feel so awful for ever being annoyed#by her habits. she just wanted to know where i was 😭#personal
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#okay so the chances that you'll see this are slim#but. if you are the one who talked to me with your mom while waiting for autographs at the end of the convention yesterday#i am sorry for converting your mom to the finale 'conspiracy theory' 😂#I don't normally go around trying to convince everyone of spngate. but it came up in the conversation organically!!!!#and she was so receptive like 'that makes so much sense oh my god' that i just kept going#laying the whole foundation and pointing out the parts of s15 that warned us of the network battle (becky's episode for example)#and i gotta say. the absolutely incredible satisfaction i got from successfully explaining this to a 'general audience' fan........#it will carry me for weeks 😂 like omg it DOES make sense! even to people who arent obsessed with destiel!#like just a relatively normal person who loves supernatural and went with her daughter to her first convention#anyway yeah. i know the person I'm talking to isnt reading this. so for everyone who IS here. i need you to know#if you are ever talking to a normie spn fan who says they hated the ending... you can be honest with them ❤️#we even exchanged emails and i sent her the finale script with all the OMITTED and she said she likes me and wants to be friends 🥲
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Kim you a Kamen Rider fan
Uh, no? Don't think so.
Name sounds vaguely familiar... one of the other clowns around here might be acquainted with it.
I didn't really watch too much TV as a young kid? I liked to mess around with my kit or go fuck around in the forests, for the most part. I started watching stuff more in highschool and college.
Some stuff I enjoy, or enjoyed, off the top of my head- Batman: The Animated Series, Are You Afraid of the Dark?, Buffy the Vampire Slayer... There are definitely more things that I watched, but I'm not sure what all I really stand by enjoying... sometimes, you just watch something because it's so weird it fascinates you, ya know?
#ooc: name sounded familiar so i went to look it up. kinda get the impression that it's probably not something she watched- partially due to+#+ runtime/reception i think. unless i misread something#ooc: LOOKING UP SHOWS THOUGH I MIGHT BE GOING A LITTLE UNHINGED... SOOO MANY THINGS I WANT TO GIVE HER...#ooc: I DONT CARE IF ANY OF THESE MAKE SENSE ACTUALLY IM GIVING HER MY MEDIA TASTES THEY KINDA ALIGN. FUCKING. BITE ME.#((ooc: the last comment is about Dinosaurs. if you are unfamiliar. look it up and then stare at the costumes for a minute syckdhdkhfjfh))#(ooc: fun pine facts! my family has that series as a DVD set and has for Many Years now- so that IS a show i watched as a kid actually)#(ooc: i did also watch buffy- though i only watched B:TAS more recently)#(ooc: someone has a hc in the discord that scott went to college to be a cartoonist- so her watching it is partly just i see no reason she#+cant be into animation and partly maybe Scott could've watched it? ik he's more of a marvel guy but the animation is good- he could have +#+ watched it just for that! and kim would have indulged him and actually come to quite like the characters maybe)#(ooc: also i love are you afraid of the dark... i havent seen very much of it but i own one of the dvd sets and i was OBSESSED as a kid. +#+ loved it more than goosebumps but i could never find any more CDs :( so if anyone knows where i can watch it online--)#(ooc: also! i havent watched it so idk if Kim would- but Sabrina the Teenage Witch. thoughts?)#ooc: also she watches Futurama because I fucking said so. i take no criticism.#ooc: it we want more things i could see her watching maybe ask abt specific ones! i could give her thoughts on them maybe#ooc: use them as an excuse to rewatch some stuff maybe xycifkchfbf#pine.txt#asks#rp#kim pine#sp comic#spvtwtg#spto#spvtw#janstaratthedisco#not in standard continuity#?
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12 + 14 for maya 👀
12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?
I was thinking the other day about her childhood the aa timeline is a mess so this is probably not completely accurate but anyway canon says her mother left when she was 2??? which doesn't make sense considering maya seems to remember misty a lot which she wouldn't if she was just a baby at the time misty left but anyway. mia would've been 12? i believe? and I think mia would've left for the city probably when she turned 18 so maya would've been nearly 8 :(( which is insane like ig her aunt was there but still that sucks she was left by both her closest family when she was so young.. anyway onto my actual hc I think once mia gets settled and starts studying law in the city she visits home every so often and brings maya stuff back that she wouldn't have seen before bc their village is so isolated.. and as maya gets older she goes to see mia semi regularly and her fav thing is going to the cinema or concerts or stuff that she can't do at home and that's where her love of samurai movies starts
14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.
i can't really picture her in anything other than her canon outfit tbh but she does seem like a silly graphic t shirt and jeans kind of person
#tia answers#kat 💖#trying and failing not to lose it over mia and maya theyre insane??? theyre so fucking tragic#I don't think maya has ever had a proper relationship with mia like they love eachother a lot but. they have lives that are almost#completely separate#also im noticing some discrepancies between the first and second game#bc in the first game maya is able to call mia on her phone but in the second phoenix says theres no reception in kurain village#and in the first it says maya lives alone but in the second she lives with her aunt and pearl?? so.#idk
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It was my sister's wedding today and we all had a lovely time :3
#I am sooo tired but it worked out beautifully#she and her husband seem very happy and were both gorgeous#I was also very gorgeous but I am excited to wash my hair first thing tomorrow 😂#I was just going to get home and sleep but I decided to brush it out at least#Ahh there's so much to say but all in all it was lovely#my only fault was someone's creep boyfriend bothering me at the reception but oh well#Oh at the reception I wore a shawl from my great great granny! calf fur very cozy but also everyone wants to pat you lol
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ok i have decided i'm changing my name. i was on the fence between fionn and liam (which had been a contender before i was born) so i'm just going to use both! fionn is my first name, liam and my current legal name will both be middle names. why not both. long names are nice
#fionn liam vincent [redacted] sounds cool as hell#i'm so so so bad at deciding things and then having to sit on them for a while lmao#i told myself i'd take my time w this if i did decide to change it but now that i'm settled on it i'm like#OK LET'S GOOO I GOTTA MAKE A FACEBOOK ANNOUNCEMENT I GOTTA TELL EVERYONE#EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW MY COOL NEW NAME#i was on the fence about changing it legally too but again now it's settled i'm like! ok! give me the DOCUMENTS let's DO THIS#i have to decide how / when to do it all tho just bc like. should tell family individually before just announcing it#not rly sure how to handle w grandparents. i don't want to confuse my mom's mom bc she's not 100% lately#when i came out 10 years ago she and my grandpa were great about it and by now she's kind of forgotten that i ever transitioned#like she's mixed me up with my brother who has an infant son#i don't know if it would be bothersome to ask my family to just keep calling me vincent with her specifically#i guess i can ask my mom she was already really receptive and loving when i said i was thinking of changing it#i think she'd be direct with me about what would be best in that context
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*ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩ here i come to help make the start of your week to shine a lil brighter!! i hope today goes smoothly for you & that you have the most amazing monday ever <33 i love you so so so much!!
#i got home a lil later than expected last night but it was SO SO FUN!! & the wedding was gorgeous!!! ଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✧#i saw my coworker there w her bf & we all sat together for the ceremony & the reception!!#i cried when my friend walked down the aisle (੭ु ›ω‹ )੭ु⁾⁾♡ she looked like a princess & i’m so proud of her!! she deserved a great day!#sobs you guys i love love so much & i’m such a hopeless romantic!! ꒰♡˃̶̤́ ꒳ ˂̶̤̀ ꒱#i’m gonna post a pic of my outfit in a little bit for like 10 minutes i think (๑˃̶͈̀◡˂̶͈́๑) lmaoxkd anyway i love you sm always<333#ᕱ⑅ᕱ.* journals!
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