#she is so receptive ^.^ i love her
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yayy i made my first friend ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ ♡ went 2 my manager's birthday thing today and got to exchange numbers w a coworker who lives in the area ^.^ she is a Columbian lesbian.
i felt like trying to meet other leftist qtpoc was rly specific to hope for but i didn't expect my first friend here to be one!!! 😭💕
#wauuggghhhh#ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ ♡ i love my goddess. i asked her 2 help me make friends this lunar cycle after she helped me sm w my move n getting settled#the last cycle and i did not expect to make a Friend so soon... this months focus is making friends :3 ♡#she is so receptive ^.^ i love her#🛐#i don't have many requests.. but when i do i ask her on the night of the full moon and then yeah <3
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Christmas in Mount Justice
cartoon version of Young Justice, written instead of sleeping and I'll be honest, I kinda run out of steam at the end, but it'd take me until next year if I didn't push through, so here it is, and hopefully it's not quite visible where I started pushing through it, I hope you'll enjoy
words: 4633
“Since, hopefully, this is the last time we're seeing each other before Christmas–” Black Canary announced, stretching after finished training“ I wish you all merry and healthy and boring Christmas” she finished with a wide warm smile. Danny barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes. This goddamn worst time of the year. He checked once more if his mental shields were up. According to M'gann, ghosts were really loud on mind reading wavelengths so he needed to keep them up most of the time. He wasn't an asshole to drown his friend in absolute hatred of Christmas.
“You too Black Canary!” Wally yelled, running like the earth was burning to get cookies M'gann baked “By the way, what are your plans?” he asked upon his return.
Did they really have to keep talking about it? Danny was half considering just dropping through the floor to escape this conversation but chose against it because he really didn't want to answer all the questions it would cause or hear a ‘you can't deal with all unwanted conversations by escaping them’ lecture again any time soon. He could and he would, the Freakshow incident was just one way to prove it.
“B and I have to attend some stuffy rich people party” Robin said with clear displeasure “I still need to plan what mess to stir there. Chandeliers swinging are banned and so is arson so I have to get creative.”
“You actually set something on fire?! That's sick as hell!” the speedster's enthusiasm didn't waver as he threw a few cookies at Danny. It was nice that someone remembered about Danny's slightly enhanced metabolism. They (both Young Justice and Amity squad) still didn't understand it completely but the working hypothesis was that he needed to eat more to make up for ectoplasm he couldn't consume in quantities big enough for his ghost side since it was poisonous to humans and he had to dose it carefully. Being a halfa was rough like that some(most)times.
“Well, lighter is easy to sneak inside–” Robin explained and honestly Danny never expected to hear Gotham’s feared vigilante go over logistics of arson but he guessed it was his life now, he could use this info to do something about at least one Christmas tree in Amity or share it with Sam. She mentioned some upcoming rich people party too”–and amount of alcohol there is astonishing, really you'd think that people would try to stay sober on event like that but apparently–”
“I'm having dinner with my mom and some family friends–” Artemis interrupted “Can't wait spend God knows how many hours with all of them talking over each other and asking awkward questions” she tried to sound displeased but there was no way she could hide her fondness and wasn't that a wild thing to see. Seriously, he almost choked on a cookie. In theory Danny knew some people genuinely liked Christmes but–
Just like that? Just happy to–
Yeah, he knew but couldn't quite comprehend. Sam was exactly like that, found but trying to seem annoyed to keep up with her goth persona. Tucker was way more open about his delight.
For Danny Christmas was only too loud because everyone was singing badly and too bright because of lights and too stuffy and there was this damned argument about Santa and yelling and fe–
“Oh, me too! We also planned a movie night with Central Rogues, this time it's Cold’s turn. I wish he won't pick Die Hard again…”
Well, Danny guessed movie night with Rogues, that clearly meant an off evening since they wouldn't try to stir things up while watching the movie, sounded like a really nice idea. Personally he would do without people who try to turn him into a pulp every other day but apparently things worked differently in Central.
“King Orin wanted to introduce me to some surface celebrations as well,” Kaldur said with a warm smile and halfa forcefully stopped himself from giving their leader a weird look. Even him?! Betrayal, absolute betrayal!
“Well, I don't really celebrate so I'm staying here, maybe training a bit, I'm not sure yet,” M'gann announced shyly and it took all his willpower to not hug her for being the only sensible person in the room.
“Yeah, I'm staying too. Apparently I'm not invited to family gatherings” Conner added bitterly.
“Honestly your not missing much,” Danny muttered “It's just perfectly prepared and measured argument breeding space, believe me”
Wally tried to protest but one pointed glare and it dissolved through power of ‘don't make Conner feel about it any worse than he already does’. Danny felt a little guilty for using it to sooth his own hatred towards Christmas but not too much. He really wanted to reassure his friend and ways he went about it were no one else's business.
“And what are your plans, Danny?” M'gann asked gently after he didn't continue. He really wished he didn't have to answer but keeping his emotions hidden meant nobody could see that something was up and say ‘you don't have to tell if you don't want to’ or other shit like that.
“Not sure yet. I think I will crash with you here honestly. If we believe this magic book we found, there is a Christmas truce in Zone, so there shouldn't be any ghost attacks and your company is always great,” he smiled sincerely.
“Wouldn't your parents ask questions if you just skipped Christmas, though?” Wally asked a bit cautiously but Danny waved his concern off with a vague ‘eh’ sound.
“Will you show us some Christmas traditions then? As a part of ‘earthly traditions’ course?” M'gann's eyes almost shone with excitement and Conner looked hopeful and it made him feel conflicted. The whole point of crashing in Mount Justice with two aliens was to not touch anything Christmas related with thirty feet long stick but alas M'gann asked nicely and was pretty. These were two big ideals fighting inside of him then and there while he tried to keep his face and outer mind blank enough to not bring any suspicion.
Betrayal to second, no third, power! He wanted to escape this hell of an experience!
But well, he could shape the experience in a way that's the least painful and M'gann and Conner were really great friends…
“Sure”
He couldn't quite match her enthusiastic grin or even Conner’s bit smaller one.
He was going to regret it, wouldn't he?
***
“Guys, I messed up so bad…” Danny whined, curling on Sam's enormous bed covered in fluffy blankets and nice pillows.
“What did you do this time?” girl asked with a smirk. Halfa was sometimes mad how well his friends knew him and didn't take his dramatics as seriously as he would like to.
“I wanted to have a sleepover at Team's HQ during Christmas, you know, to escape it. Only ones who will stay are Miss Martian and Superboy, aliens, so I thought it's a good idea. And then they asked me to show them ‘earthly Christmas traditions’ and I AGREED!” he yelled, his hands flying dramatically at the confession.
His friends, little traitors they were, just laughed.
He came to get some help, advice on either doing this introduction well because Danny Fenton was known for a lot of things but half-assing projects he agreed to do wasn't one of them (homework was obligatory without his consents ergo didn't count) or gracefully getting away from mess his idiocy brought onto him, not to be laughed at! He had enough of it at other times.
Though they got to work when they calmed down, making Danny revisit the idea of not talking to them ever again and throwing it out of the window.
“Alright,” Tucker started, preparing his note and planner apps before continuing “what do you want to show them? Gingerbread house?”
“Of course” Danny huffed because as much as he hated Christmas and its traditions, gingerbread house was decent one. Making one at Tucker's place three years ago when he had been introduced to the idea was one of his best memories related to the holiday. Even though it was cut short by trip to the ER because dumbass little Danny had wanted a little gingerbread man he set aside and he had eaten him still all fresh and 350°F hot and got severe burns in his mouth and throat because apparently his instinctual response to burning in his mouth was to swallow instead of to spit.
“Gifts.” Sam raised in a way that meant she was not taking any complaints and Danny didn't really want to argue. His track record with gifts from his parents wasn't too good ever since he had a brief just-like-dad phase and they didn't realize it ended after a month but other people knew how to fix it. The Voyager Lego set he got from Sam the year before still made him smile when his eyes landed on it.
Tucker noted it down. “What else? Christmas tree?”
Danny winced but nodded. He wasn't too fond of it but it was too big to miss it.
“Ugly sweaters?”
“Superboy would actually develop laser vision if I tried it”
“Movie marathon? I can lend you some DvDs”
“Yeah, it's probably a good idea. Kid Flash mentioned it too.”
“Santa Claus?” Sam asked with a smirk and Danny threw a pillow at her.
“Who is Santa Claus? I never heard of him, must be a Rhode Island thing” he answered with a straight face, not knowing how many times he will have to repeat it.
**
Phantom: hey guys!
Phantom: want a Crisscross Christmas
Phantom: ?
Artemis: The what?
Phantom: oh, you know
Phantom: this thing were we draw aech othres names anf have to buy a gift
Kid Flash: you mena Secret Santa
Kid Flash: ???
Phantom: never heard of that
Phantom: thats a wierd naem
Phantom: but if rules match, call it whatever yoyu wnat
Aqualad: I like this idea
Robin: GIft drop-off on 27th is okay for everyone?
7 people liked this message
Robin: i take that for yes. 50$ budget?
Kid Flash: Robin, Rob, Bob, my best pal. I have 5$ and single slice of bubblegum to my name rn
Kid Flash: No, actually no bubblegum anymore
Kid Flash: 10$ is top I could spend
Phantom: Same
Artemis: Same
Aqualad: Me too
Miss Martian: I'm not sure if me and Superboy have any money, actually
Phantom: See Rob?
Phantom: just be a good samamritanina and give them 10$ instead og flaunting batmans money
***
"Important question. How do one pick a present?"
"You know, it's good if it's something personal, either in a way that it's something they want or need, a gag gift that'd be funny for both of you, or just something that made you think of them"
"Yeah, yeah, I read the mom blogs, none of this actually helps, what am I supposed to get for Artemis?!"
***
"Alright, so. I have a list of things I think you need to learn about Christmas. We're kinda late to the party, so I cut off some stuff because there is no way we would make it in time."
"Sounds about right, what do we start with?"
"Most classic of classics, the Christmas tree, Batman already greenlit it, so it's waiting outside"
***
"So, Christmas tree is evergreen plant, conifer, sometimes only branch or synthetically made model, that, if living, is cut down from Christmas tree nursery, and then put inside the house, usually in the living room or other space that is considered repre-"
"Danny, we live in society, we have basic knowledge on American traditions that is literally everywhere. We don't need it to be spoon fed to us in a voice more robotic way than Red Tornado, literal robot"
"Conner!"
"What?! I'm not wrong"
"Sorry. Let's get to decorating then?"
"If you want to ramble, we'd be more than happy to listen. It's obvious that you took a lot of care to learn everything."
"Speak for yourself"
"Conner!"
"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, with what exactly do we plan to decorate it?"
"Oh, this one is easy. I asked around people to donate some stuff, and Batman got us few things after I asked for permission for the tree. He even asked Justice League to drop us some things too."
"That's nice of them"
"Yeah, though I'm a bit worried about gifts from Arrows and Robin, y'know. They all had this type of smile that means either a gag idea, merch or exploding glitter and I'm not sure which option scares me the most"
"Glitter"
"Glitter"
"Yeah, you're right"
***
"Did… um… did Superman bring anything?"
"Yes, actually! He brought pretty big box of stuff and mentioned dropping of some food for Christmas in the morning or the afternoon of the first day. He said he was happy that you got the experience even if he isn't able to be the one to give it to you. I think he is coming around"
It was an interesting thing about Danny. He wasn't all that good with authority figures or frankly adults in general, and he never passed on the chance to tear in Superman for his treatment of Conner, if he saw the man, but in private he was surprisingly pro-Superman and tried to make them "see his perspective" with some pretty convincing arguments. Everyone else was still unimpressed but Danny never gave up.
M'gann still wasn't sure if in these circumstances she found it cute or annoying.
"Bullshit"
"If that's what you want to believe in"
***
"Oh, hello Megan! Red Tornado, would you like to join us in decorating the Christmas tree?"
"This… seems like a decent idea. What is the procedure of it?"
"We already put on the lights, so now we're placing baubles and other hanging decorations, before we finish off with paper chains and these fuzzy boas. We need them evenly spread out on all of the tree, preferably in a way, that things in similar colors aren't right next to each other, alright?"
"Yes, Phantom, instructions are clear"
"Great. Do we want some music in the background? My friends usually play some Christmas songs to get us all in 'the right mood' as he calls it?"
"Good idea, I'll play something."
"Thanks Meg"
"Just hear the sleigh bell jingling…"
"Is this… yeah, it's Carpenters, it's Jazz's favo- oh shit"
"Got it!"
"Nice catch Conner! Red Tornado, sorry I didn't clarify before, we're not decorating the side by the wall."
"Understood"
***
"We have only one last thing left then"
"Yeah?"
"The star at the top. The youngest child of the family usually get the honor. Conner, it's you time to shine~"
"Shut up already"
"How is he supposed to reach the top though? He can't fly"
"Step stool or someone has to hold him up lion king style"
"Lion king- Don't you dare! Keep those hands to yourself! Danny!
***
"So, what's next on your magical list?"
"Gingerbread house. It's a moment for you to shine Meg, because I'm absolute mess in the kitchen and I don't think Conner is much better"
"Actually-"
"blah, blah, blah, absolutely perfect, could be hired at Michelin star restaurant right this instant blah, blah, blah"
"Oh, you little-"
"I believe the arguments are supposed to start at the Christmas table and not before. It seemed to be consensus in my sources. Was I mistaken?"
Conner stopped dead in his tracks, as confused as M'gann at the question.
Danny laughed so hard he fell on the ground.
"Red Tornado, what does that mean?"
"There is no need to spread misinformation until we can get confirmation whether my sources were correct or not"
"Danny? Danny?! What does he mean?! Why are you laughing?!"
Danny just stayed curled on the floor, almost wheezing.
***
"So, we have all of the ingredients, right? Flour, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves-"
"I think it's still in the cabinet, let me grab it real quick"
"Alright, other than cloves, do we have salt, vegetable shortening, granulated sugar, molasses, an egg- I mean, applesauce? Yeah? Let's hope it'll work. Okay, I think were ready"
"Ginger?"
"What?"
"Do we have ginger ready?"
"I don't think so, I'm pretty sure we've run out about a week ago? Why- oh wait"
"Did we seriously forgot to get ginger to make The Gingerbread House?! It's literally in the name!"
They all just stood in silence for a long moment.
"We're idiots"
"Well said, well said"
"I believe there are better names to describe you in this situation. Unfortunately, I cannot recall them"
"Thanks Red Tornado, that was helpful"
"Maybe we can still buy it?"
"It's 10:34 PM, December 23rd, M'gann, what shop would even be open?"
"Shut up Conner, it's actually not a bad idea. I think I've seen- yes, there is something open until eleven, about five minutes out if I fly"
***
"There was no ginger at the shop, but I got cranberry for later, if needed, and some chips to snack on"
"It's fine, we found unopened pack of powdered ginger in the back of the cabinet"
"That's great! Give me a minute to return this packet I liberated on my way home?"
"Danny!"
***
"Hey, M'gann!"
"Yeah?"
"Would you like to invite your uncle to our dinner?"
"That's a great idea Conner, thank you!"
***
"Okay, wait, wait, wait, before you two get weirdly aggressive about it again-"
"We're not that aggressive and it's a serious matter"
"I don't have any ghosts to get of my misplaced aggression out on so I'm funneling it into cake decorating instead"
"M'gann, you literally are trying to choke him right now, Danny, even I know it's concerning and I have less than half a year of learning what is considered normal under my belt. Anyway, before you escalate it again, how about each one of us gets one side of the house and then we work in pairs on the roof?"
"I like that"
"But what about aesthetic integrity!"
"It's quite literally against the point of gingerbread house"
***
"Before we go to sleep, I believe it's a widespread tradition to leave milk and cookies for the Santa Claus on the Christmas Eve evening"
"Huh"
"What is it this time?"
"Nothing really, chill out Conner, I just never heard of that"
It was so clearly a lie it probably couldn't even be called that, but at this point everyone realized, that for some reason bearded man in red was a sore subject, and they stopped trying to learn why. Maybe some day he'd tell them.
***
"Sorry. This person is currently unavailable. Please leave a message after the tone."
"Hey Dani, it's Danny. Merry Christmas, please let me know when you get that. I'm celebrating outside of home, safe, with some friends, so if you want, I can give you an address and you can drop by. They're all more than okay with ghost stuff and have a history of accepting someone similar to you without any questions. I'm sure they'd love you. Let me know you're alright and if you want to join us. Sorry I keep calling, I'm at the worrywart stage. Love you, please stay safe."
Danny was doing pretty well with this whole "organizing Christmas". Really. M'gann did kick him out to breathe a bit of fresh air (and wait for the Superman and food he was supposed to bring in) because his hands were shaking too much, but other than that he was fine. Really. He was getting a bit panicky because he didn't hear a word from his sister in the past week and usually she let them know if she knew she would go somewhere where that could happen but she just as often didn't because she spontaneously decided to do something else. Trackers they made her wear showed she was fine.
It didn't really help, he wasn't sure if there was anything less than actually hearing or preferably seeing her that could reassure him.
It wasn't even talking about all of the trouble that was a bit closer to home, because Christmas never meant anything good for him, with or without his parents stirring up the Santa-fight. They weren't there and yet, he still couldn't make himself believe it could be any better this time. For Ancients sake, he made sure there was no Santa Claus in whole Mountain, nothing to remind him of how it always was and his brain still decided to be stupid about it.
So now he was standing in thin hoodie out in Rhode Island winter, in hopes that cold would shock him out of spiraling, trying to keep his breaths even and not fly away because it felt all like a little too much at the moment. he was standing in thin hoodie out in Rhode Island winter, waiting for a man who would awkwardly try to do the whole 'I'm an adult you can trust' routine and then treat him like messenger pigeon to contact the child that actually wanted and needed him. He couldn't entirely blame him but-
"Are you quite alright?"
"I'm fine"
"Are you sure? It's quite cold to be dressed like this and your heartbeat is quite erratic."
"I'm fine as old wine Superman, please say your piece before someone comes to see what took me so long"
"Danny-"
"I'm serious. Leave it alone and just give me the food"
Superman looked a bit conflicted, clearly considering all of the potential pros and cons of digging in further and choose wrong.
"You're worried about Dani"
"You're the last person I want to talk to about her," Danny spat out, anxiety quickly turning into anger.
"Of course, but-"
"Have two civil conversations with your clone before trying to tell me how I should handle mine" As soon as these words left his mouth, Danny regretted them, if only a little, but he kept pushing "I told you about her to explain why I'm willing to vouch for you. It doesn't make you someone I'll confide in. It doesn't make you someone I trust. It doesn't make me approve of the way your handling it. It just means I understand. But you're an adult man and experienced hero with stable job and adult shit figured out and I'm a teenager with home just safe enough for me to stay and family that'd question how third child just showed up. We are not the same."
Superman flinched away at some point during the rant, looking properly humbled. He avoided eye contact and just reached forward to pass him hard plastic case filled with food containers and smaller boxes wrapped up in nice Christmas themed paper.
"Alright kiddo. Get it inside before you turn into a icicle. And tell Conner I wish him Merry Christmas, alright? I mean, I wish it to everyone but…"
Damn, if the "never meet your heroes" person wasn't right.
"You're a coward Superman. Come in and tell him that yourself"
***
Conner lashed out, as expected, but it was far more subdued than it would be just few month before. To his credit, Superman stayed the whole time it went down and only left when boy mostly calmed down and wouldn't feel like he was being ignored. Man even tried to respond to some allegations, though he wasn't really heard. Conner ranted some more after hero left, but overall it went better than Danny thought it would.
Then they had dinner, which went… surprisingly well. Apparently, not having to worry about being attacked by the main dish did wonders to Danny's overall jitters (and didn't everyone get super weird when he mentioned it). Not having people start nonsensical fights also helped. He knew better than to mention that.
Also, turns out that Superman or whoever he got to make them food was freaking amazing cook, thank you very much. Danny wasn't necessarily fasting, not in a way he knew some people did in the period preceding Christmas or at least on Christmas Eve, but the tension of past few days made it hard to eat a lot. It definitely lessened now that the thing was happening and seemingly going well, so he was absolutely ravenous. To be completely honest, as far as he could tell, everyone else matched his enthusiasm.
There was a bit off moment at the beginning, when Martian Manhunter asked him if he shouldn't be with his family during holidays, but Danny quickly and subtly brushed it off and nobody mentioned that afterwards.
He may have overeaten, actually, for once in his live, which he may regret in the morning, but at the moment, it made him quite content.
Then came the gifts, which also went better than he expected. For once there was no need to act like he enjoyed the gift despite already planning on how to get rid of it. Even better, focus was almost fully removed from him, obviously, because it wasn't his first rodeo.
Conner looked so lost and confused with the gift he got from Superman's mom, it was almost heartbreaking. It was beautiful crocheted scarf, black and red, with his symbol on each end, and an apology note explaining that Mrs Martha Kent would give him something more note worthy but she learned about him way to late to make something better. There was also promise of more worthy gift in near future. Danny knew all that because Conner read it out loud, asking everyone to help him make sense of that. There was only so much they could do.
Other than that, he got some nice flannel shirts from M'gann, quite a few sweets. He also got a book from Danny (it was a sin he didn't read "The Martian" before) and concepts of new hero suits for him, that Sam somehow sneaked between the pages. It was certainly a lot to explain without making anyone angry.
M'gann got two different cook books, that unfortunately didn't include Fenton fudge recipe (Dad was really protective over it), some surprisingly obscure merch from "Hello Megan" and more sweets.
Red Tornado got an apron and few tokens of appreciation, that robot quite liked, as far as Danny could tell.
Martian Manhuter, due to how rarely he visited, was the hardest to pick presents for, which resulted in some general little trinkets.
Danny got night sky projector, which was really cool, and potted plant, for some reason, which, while also cool, because plants are cool (Sam would rekill him if he thought otherwise), he knew far too well, would not survive until July. It wasn't only because he could barely take care of himself, let alone whole ass plant (see also, that one time he either drowned or dried three cacti), but also because of the times ghosts (or home security) attacked him in his room. He was thankful anyway. Maybe it could push him into finally getting some contingencies against that, that’d actually work. After all, it was quite a pretty plant.
By the time they moved to the couch to watch “Die Hard” of all things (it was only DVD that Tucker provided that didn’t have Santa Claus as a prominent character, because of course that little traitor would do that), Danny had to admit that this Christmas was… nice. Enjoyable. Pretty amazing actually. Good enough that he could understand people waiting for it the whole year. He couldn’t tell that he joined their ranks, but he certainly could understand them.
It was also downright exhausting and at some point even dynamic fights of John McClane couldn’t keep his eyes open. It was fine though. He was safe, he was warm, almost squeezed against his friends. It was good place to just relax.
It’s been first time in a long time since he felt that on Christmas.
********
I'm not sure if I managed to properly Conner's... whole thing, if he turned out too hostile, let's just say he was still pissed about the whole "wasn't invited to Clark's family gathering" thing and it made him a bit more antsy.
I'm not sure how well I managed to handle it, but I don't want to bash neither Clark nor Conner. They're both victims in this situation and while the way Clark handled it was far from ideal, it's also far from worst he could do and I believe he deserves a bit more grace. In the end, on psychological level he is just human and humans don't always handle being baby trapped perfectly. Maybe I have more understanding towards him because my prefered way of handling conflicts is walking out and locking myself in my room, but idk. Maybe I'm capable of more coherent explanation when it's not 3:44 AM
Ginger shenanigans were inspired by my own Christmas preparation adventures, when I was making bread dough for the Christmas Eve and decided to add rosemary to make it more ✨festive✨ and got really attached to the idea. My mom agreed, then it turned out we didn't have any, then I went to the shop like twenty minutes before it closed at 11PM so at least one guy was there to replenish his alcohol suplies. My mom called to tell me to also buy some powdered garlic and beetroot. Turned out we had rosemary at home. At shop I only found garlic. I also brought energy drink, because I was tired but had more stuff to do and some snacks just because.
Bread turned out pretty good.
I sincerely believe if I was solely responsible of making gingerbread, I would forget to get ginger (or like, to fit with "it's in the name" thing, pepper, because in Polish it's "piernik")
I'm really sorry if the drop in quality by the end is noticable, if this thing stayed unfinished whole another year i'd do something I'd regret later.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dc x dp#dcxdp#by the way Dani is fine#she is in Atlantis after she helped beached whale back into the ocean#her phone is water proof but was not made to get reception at the ocean floor#but two days after Christmas Danny will get message from Kaldur's phone that'll read#Dani here; I'm fine got invited to sea kingdom and-#-it's amazing bye#to be honest it was quite curious thing to have#mostly because despite both Poland and US being part of the Western culture there are quite a few differences#and I can do all the research I want (I suck at in-depth research)#there is no way in hell I'll understand it#especially considering my family is practicing Catholic and Poland historically is Catholic so our traditions are heavily affected#anyway feel free to yell at me if I fucked up representing American Christmas spirit and the way it would look in a friend group#and feel free to ask if you're curious about Polish traditions if you want#sorry for not including team gift exchange#I have no energy to think about what they could get for each other#feel free to write it yourself if you want to#I'd love to read it#christmas#christmas fic#wandixx writes#have a nice day dear stranger who got to this part
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'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it#i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition#but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body#not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways#but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth#valuing and exploring and treasuring#i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible#but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body?#it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head#and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude#this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example#like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than#violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body#to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities#like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia#so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you#even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by#what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems#Casey Plett#she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her#this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger#i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial#she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies#that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era#it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it#i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience#said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip#personal nonsense
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"Your audition tape" Maya doesn't take her eyes off the camera screen "It was brilliant, a personal favorite of mine but I'm only gonna say this once: do not improvise when you're not asked to"
"Thank you" soon she added up "I promise it won't happen again."
"And Carina? You're doing great" this time her piercing blue eyes stared directly at the lead actress, whose heart stopped for a second after recognizing the fire and sadness merging themselves behind the wall of feelings in front her.
"Thank you, director"
"Maya, you can call me Maya"
Carina felt that a tiny part of her wanted to impress Maya, do right by the end of the production. And a massive part of her wanted to get to know Maya better, break down all the walls surrounding her.
"Thank you, Maya" she smiled as she left the room not noticing the director's mirroring her smile.
Maya Bishop is known for having a mix reputation: some loved her, some hated her, few were ambivalent about her, some believed she was a genius, some believe she was just ruthless. Working with her demanded perfection, actors who worked with her confessed the challenge made them more focused on their jobs and most of them we rewarded with either Golden Globes, Oscars, Emmys, Critics Choice, anything you could imagine. On the other hand, some claimed she made the scene way too coordinated, wanting and demanding it the way she envisioned, no space for creativity outside the script. In the end, everyone had an opinion about the director, and yet none of them knew her personal life besides her producer Andy Herrera.
Carina DeLuca was not expecting Maya Bishop to be her new director. She set it up her audition tap as soon as she could, the script itself was amazing, a drama film set in Italy with a main character who had lived years apart from her family now struggles with going back to her origin country, a story much closer to home than what she anticipated. Studio 19 needed someone — preferably Italian or fluent in Italian — to be the main lead, but Maya's name was not attached in any sort of paper, and she's been enough time in spolight to have heard rumors behind the director's workplace. Although Carina never really deemed any of them to be 100% true, she was willing to learn whatever she could took from Maya's guidance, but once things start to get hazy between her and Maya, she beings to see this movie as more than just a job.
#Station 19#Station 19 AU#Marina#Marina AU#Maya Bishop#Carina DeLuca#Maya x Carina#Carina x Maya#I WANTED A MARINA HOLLYWOOD AU SO MUCH#Maya definitely should be a director#While Carina is everybody's favorite actress#Also imagining Maya didn't even think twice before choosing Carina#She loved her work before and she totally knew what Carina was capable of#All the tabloids questioning Maya being more receptive in premiere tours#Fic prompt#Marina prompt#Feel free to use the prompt#I'm not a writer but someone talented should definitely write it
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it’s crazy how much having a safe place to be yourself and express your identity and personality and interests, both online and irl, can change your will to live. honestly.
#i came out to my fav professor/mentor today#it was kind of impulsive but idk#she’s just made me feel so safe and supported and cared ab#that honestly all i wanted to do was tell her#and hear what my new chosen name sounds like when she says it. idk.#anyway she was So incredibly receptive and understanding and supportive#like she said things i needed to hear that i didn’t even know i needed to hear#at one point she essentially reassured me that she doesn’t and won’t ever love me any less as a boy#and she immediately wanted to call me by my chosen name and use my preferred pronouns#and she kept telling me too that there’s no pressure or need to stress and that if i ever wanna adjust the name or pronouns i can#and that gender isn’t a fixed thing ofc#she told me that she’s proud of me too#god i’m so luckyyyy dude#i feel so loved and cared about#also i said in an email recently that i was looking for a part time job (like totally as a separate thing i mentioned bc of scheduling stuff#and totally unprompted today#she started talking to me about getting a paid position for me set up with some grant money ig??#which we were already tentatively planning on doing next semester#but bc she saw me say that she’s trying to get it set up now 🥺🥺#AGH i kinda love my life rn#but i’m so terrified to and im even more afraid to admit that#anyway so sorry this is an excessive amount of tags#silas speaks#vent#trans#transmasc#trans masc#transgender#queer#lgbtq+
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thinking about saavik again orz
#p#i know some of the older comics give her a betrothal that sarek & amanda set up shortly after she was rescued#but i think iterations of the same backstory where she didn't would make sense and add to her having Not The Best Time on vulcan#like in a society that values these traditions as a stabilizing force/means of maintaining a family's status#it would not be especially advantageous to attach your son to a girl who 1. was actually feral like a year ago 2. has tenuous family ties#3. is of mixed heritage (half of which is an active enemy to your govt) and 4. embodies an incident most vulcans would rather forget#like whoever would agree to the arrangement would have to either be Legit about idic and unusually less susceptible to unconscious bias#(so like. platonic ideal of a fandom-reception Good Vulcan)#or someone who owed sarek a big favor#and even if she was betrothed without blackmail and the family was lovely and not xenophobic to her... that's just them!#tpp at least explicitly mentions people treating her like an interloper throughout her time on vulcan#i think her gravitating towards starfleet is primarily because of spock (initially at least) but lowkey the situation she's in#would make it more appealing as a place THEORETICALLY accepting of cultural difference in the same way it would be to like. ferengi women#for that ^ reason and just going off of flashback i think is she and tuvok met while he was on the excelsior they would butt heads a bit#also he's inflexible and listing regulations in it exactly like she was what.. 7-8 years earlier? and they're about the same age#are vulcans capable of feeling cringe#saavik
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had the awful revelation that navigating is most likely about SAI the other day and it’s ruined my life. “i find my self esteem, then turn so cold” “kinda feels like everybody leaves. feeling the reality that everybody leaves.” i feel SICK
#‘give me some advice. i am wasting all this time.’ tyler we fucking failed you i’m so sorry#nav was already my fav (tied w atrofd obviously) but now it guts me in an entirely new way#god just reading the lyrics makes me fucking cry#this is breaking my heart. we hurt him so much.#i’ve always loved sai but we absolutely did not give her the accolades she deserved#let alone what we gave their other albums#i hope the reception to clancy helped heal his heart at least a bit#god. i’m just so sorry#blabble#tøp#twenty one pilots#scaled and icy#clancy#SAI#tyler joseph#navigating
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MR. & MRS. WESKER 🤍
i was able to commission the lovely @rcehb-art on twitter for this piece of diana and wesker during their strange after-the-fact reception for their very private wedding. i am just so in love with this and how it turned out, and i can't thank rc enough !! she is so kind and amazing to work with and i can't recommend her enough if you're looking to commission artwork ♡
#commissions.#oc: diana#pair: ewskers#or should i say drs. albert & diana wesker 🖤#i literally haven't stopped staring at this since receiving the final product !! & just the whole process was so much fun & i loved seeing#it all come together 🥺 i'm just aaaaaa i adore this sm !!! also okay i think i have talked about this on here before but these two didn't#actually have like a ''wedding'' but they eloped then a bit after that alex & the birkins found out they had gotten married without telling#anyone (they knew they were engaged but yeah there were no wedding talks so to speak) so then they sort of pushed them to have some sort of#reception at least & celebrate things kinda...like they thought he would've made a big deal out of things but these two aren't all that#fussed with the idea of weddings or marriage in general (there's a lot of lore here i swear. especially on diana's part like some of you#know) so they were very private about it all !! but yes here you can see them gossiping & talking shit about umbrella employees 🤭#also this goes without saying but pls don't use or touch this at all as it's a commission & diana is my oc !! i didn't think i would need to#say that but precautions now after things that have happened on here & unfortunately made me less active...diana is very very special to me#so yeah :] and ofc never repost art that isn't yours !! that being said please go & support rc !!! she's amazing & all of her art is so so#gorgeous & she's just the absolute sweetest & a beloved mutual of mine 🤍🤍
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barely an hour at work and already on the brink of another breakdown i need to quit this fucking job and/or perhaps kill myself
#my boss told me i work too much overtime and i agree but also i am literally the only trained person on kitchen and unless we're fully#booked im alone and have to do everything myself and if theres a task i cant finish its waiting there for me tomorrow to pick back up plus#literally everything else bc everything in this hotel is fucking broken so i cant even do everything on time like this fucking dishwasher is#now broken for the what?? tenth time this summer???? hello???? so the dishes keep piling up and up and up and i have to do them later#whenever the technician shows up but that all goes toward extra time that i cant do certain tasks#pkus the night guard is incompetent as fuck every single morning theres so many mistakes i need to fix and i always have to clean up his#parts as well bc he never finishes breakfast on time and then leaves the kitchen looking like a mess#and the buffet looks like shit bc even though i tell him a million times how hes supposed to put things he keeps doing them differently and#BADLY on top of that so the buffet looks like someone just threw up some food on it in random order like i cant keep coming an hour early#just to hold your hand through the process of putting prepared food in the designated spaces youve been here for a month now at some point#youre gonna have to be able to fucking do this every time i come an hour early thats an hour i work longer every day bc of course all the#cleaning up after breakfast is done doesnt get any shorter#and then on top of THAT apparently im now responsible for ordering shit for the entire hotel and running meetings and oh yeah im also#supposed to watch over reception tomorrow WHILE doing breakfast. fantastic. thats gonna go so well i cant wait 👍🏻#and im also working on sunday btw. so cool. bc clearly im so well adjusted and also mentally stable that i dont need a weekend or whatever.#and its fully booked with one of the most important businesses in town so like no pressure no pressure#and of course the boss is on vacation bc she somehow is always on vacation during the busiest days which is also so cool of her to do#also did i mention no one is ever gonna love me and ill die alone bc i only fall for people i can never be with#but also thats cool and chill and i dont even care 👍🏻
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it sure would be nice if the people in my life would tell me anything about things that involve me
#friday chats#having to badger my upperclassmen roommates about what things they're bringing to the dorm to share#bc i've never done this before and would like to be prepared before we move in in a month#and i asked my mom when an upcoming wedding reception was (bc she didn't tell me the freaking DATE)#and she was like ''oh i thought you didn't want to go!'' even though when she ASKED ME i said ''yeah sure i'll go. sounds fun''#and the number of times i've been at home and realized ''huh i haven't seen dad in a few days. wonder where he is''#and mom tells me he's on a trip THAT NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT in fucking. australia or some other far-off place#for the love of GOD can people be TRANSPARENT with me for ONCE#(my only solace is that when i complained to my grandma (dad's mom) about it she said she had to badger him to give her a schedule as well#so it's not just a me thing. still pisses me off though)
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anyway so im rewriting the specials to get yaz in there right and you kinda need her out of the way for wild blue yonder so im keeping her in the tardis to do the manual part of the repairs i guess but just the idea of yaz being There but Just out of sight but very much like,,,,Present, as an agent in the story, while this interaction happens:
which is then Immediately followed by the tardis with her inside Disappearing, just lends a whole lot of fuckin,,,,,,,depth of flavour that you really dont even need to do anything for
#the hardest part of this is figuring out the donna&yaz dynamic for me#i cant write donna ive never written donna#i feel like donna would be sooort of approaching yaz like she approached martha back in s4#but i dont think yaz would be as receptive to that as martha#bc yaz. is. in much the same state as the doctor is. in terms of trauma and running on fumes and lets just keep running and not talking#except that she /didnt/ just regenerate to become weirdly honest about her affections#she still loyal devoted 'shes fine shes fine' never told anyone running from home just said goodbye to one of her best friends#And also to maybe her first real romantic love who Died But Didnt#dealing with all of that as quietly as shes dealt with alll the rest of it up till now#thrown into this situation where she knows no one and the doctor knows everyone and everyone knows the doctor but she knows no one not even#this doctor#all that just to say. i dont think she'd be very friendly with donna#polite. mostly. probably. but also having lots of feelings#that are gonna be...........difficult..........i think for all three of them to deal with#bc donna doesnt know what shes dealing with in terms of doctor/yaz#maybe she assumes a friend. or else a rose or a martha situation. bUT. yaz is none of those#yaz isnt making hearteyes or Yearning In Secret at this point yaz is grieving and also i think trying to figure out her place#shes more of a river situation. not really. comparison doesnt entirely work. but like. river in the library. vaguely#more that than the secret crush thing that it was#and the doctor knows Exactly whats going on with yaz but yknow. Busy. and they havent really had a moment alone to talk abt it#if theyre gonna talk abt it#and donna is pushing the doctor in their familiar dynamic and yaz is just sort of...........squished between that#trying to stand her ground while not even really knowing where or what that ground even IS#anyway so. tldr. Complicated#complicated dyanmic and complicated to balance so i dont sacrifice any of the doctor&donna stuff#which might happen a little anywaybc i have a clear yaz bias but im trying to mitigate it as much as i can
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.
#okay so the chances that you'll see this are slim#but. if you are the one who talked to me with your mom while waiting for autographs at the end of the convention yesterday#i am sorry for converting your mom to the finale 'conspiracy theory' 😂#I don't normally go around trying to convince everyone of spngate. but it came up in the conversation organically!!!!#and she was so receptive like 'that makes so much sense oh my god' that i just kept going#laying the whole foundation and pointing out the parts of s15 that warned us of the network battle (becky's episode for example)#and i gotta say. the absolutely incredible satisfaction i got from successfully explaining this to a 'general audience' fan........#it will carry me for weeks 😂 like omg it DOES make sense! even to people who arent obsessed with destiel!#like just a relatively normal person who loves supernatural and went with her daughter to her first convention#anyway yeah. i know the person I'm talking to isnt reading this. so for everyone who IS here. i need you to know#if you are ever talking to a normie spn fan who says they hated the ending... you can be honest with them ❤️#we even exchanged emails and i sent her the finale script with all the OMITTED and she said she likes me and wants to be friends 🥲
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Kim you a Kamen Rider fan
Uh, no? Don't think so.
Name sounds vaguely familiar... one of the other clowns around here might be acquainted with it.
I didn't really watch too much TV as a young kid? I liked to mess around with my kit or go fuck around in the forests, for the most part. I started watching stuff more in highschool and college.
Some stuff I enjoy, or enjoyed, off the top of my head- Batman: The Animated Series, Are You Afraid of the Dark?, Buffy the Vampire Slayer... There are definitely more things that I watched, but I'm not sure what all I really stand by enjoying... sometimes, you just watch something because it's so weird it fascinates you, ya know?
#ooc: name sounded familiar so i went to look it up. kinda get the impression that it's probably not something she watched- partially due to+#+ runtime/reception i think. unless i misread something#ooc: LOOKING UP SHOWS THOUGH I MIGHT BE GOING A LITTLE UNHINGED... SOOO MANY THINGS I WANT TO GIVE HER...#ooc: I DONT CARE IF ANY OF THESE MAKE SENSE ACTUALLY IM GIVING HER MY MEDIA TASTES THEY KINDA ALIGN. FUCKING. BITE ME.#((ooc: the last comment is about Dinosaurs. if you are unfamiliar. look it up and then stare at the costumes for a minute syckdhdkhfjfh))#(ooc: fun pine facts! my family has that series as a DVD set and has for Many Years now- so that IS a show i watched as a kid actually)#(ooc: i did also watch buffy- though i only watched B:TAS more recently)#(ooc: someone has a hc in the discord that scott went to college to be a cartoonist- so her watching it is partly just i see no reason she#+cant be into animation and partly maybe Scott could've watched it? ik he's more of a marvel guy but the animation is good- he could have +#+ watched it just for that! and kim would have indulged him and actually come to quite like the characters maybe)#(ooc: also i love are you afraid of the dark... i havent seen very much of it but i own one of the dvd sets and i was OBSESSED as a kid. +#+ loved it more than goosebumps but i could never find any more CDs :( so if anyone knows where i can watch it online--)#(ooc: also! i havent watched it so idk if Kim would- but Sabrina the Teenage Witch. thoughts?)#ooc: also she watches Futurama because I fucking said so. i take no criticism.#ooc: it we want more things i could see her watching maybe ask abt specific ones! i could give her thoughts on them maybe#ooc: use them as an excuse to rewatch some stuff maybe xycifkchfbf#pine.txt#asks#rp#kim pine#sp comic#spvtwtg#spto#spvtw#janstaratthedisco#not in standard continuity#?
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12 + 14 for maya 👀
12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?
I was thinking the other day about her childhood the aa timeline is a mess so this is probably not completely accurate but anyway canon says her mother left when she was 2??? which doesn't make sense considering maya seems to remember misty a lot which she wouldn't if she was just a baby at the time misty left but anyway. mia would've been 12? i believe? and I think mia would've left for the city probably when she turned 18 so maya would've been nearly 8 :(( which is insane like ig her aunt was there but still that sucks she was left by both her closest family when she was so young.. anyway onto my actual hc I think once mia gets settled and starts studying law in the city she visits home every so often and brings maya stuff back that she wouldn't have seen before bc their village is so isolated.. and as maya gets older she goes to see mia semi regularly and her fav thing is going to the cinema or concerts or stuff that she can't do at home and that's where her love of samurai movies starts
14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.
i can't really picture her in anything other than her canon outfit tbh but she does seem like a silly graphic t shirt and jeans kind of person
#tia answers#kat 💖#trying and failing not to lose it over mia and maya theyre insane??? theyre so fucking tragic#I don't think maya has ever had a proper relationship with mia like they love eachother a lot but. they have lives that are almost#completely separate#also im noticing some discrepancies between the first and second game#bc in the first game maya is able to call mia on her phone but in the second phoenix says theres no reception in kurain village#and in the first it says maya lives alone but in the second she lives with her aunt and pearl?? so.#idk
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It was my sister's wedding today and we all had a lovely time :3
#I am sooo tired but it worked out beautifully#she and her husband seem very happy and were both gorgeous#I was also very gorgeous but I am excited to wash my hair first thing tomorrow 😂#I was just going to get home and sleep but I decided to brush it out at least#Ahh there's so much to say but all in all it was lovely#my only fault was someone's creep boyfriend bothering me at the reception but oh well#Oh at the reception I wore a shawl from my great great granny! calf fur very cozy but also everyone wants to pat you lol
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ok i have decided i'm changing my name. i was on the fence between fionn and liam (which had been a contender before i was born) so i'm just going to use both! fionn is my first name, liam and my current legal name will both be middle names. why not both. long names are nice
#fionn liam vincent [redacted] sounds cool as hell#i'm so so so bad at deciding things and then having to sit on them for a while lmao#i told myself i'd take my time w this if i did decide to change it but now that i'm settled on it i'm like#OK LET'S GOOO I GOTTA MAKE A FACEBOOK ANNOUNCEMENT I GOTTA TELL EVERYONE#EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW MY COOL NEW NAME#i was on the fence about changing it legally too but again now it's settled i'm like! ok! give me the DOCUMENTS let's DO THIS#i have to decide how / when to do it all tho just bc like. should tell family individually before just announcing it#not rly sure how to handle w grandparents. i don't want to confuse my mom's mom bc she's not 100% lately#when i came out 10 years ago she and my grandpa were great about it and by now she's kind of forgotten that i ever transitioned#like she's mixed me up with my brother who has an infant son#i don't know if it would be bothersome to ask my family to just keep calling me vincent with her specifically#i guess i can ask my mom she was already really receptive and loving when i said i was thinking of changing it#i think she'd be direct with me about what would be best in that context
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