#she is a war criminal she is a lesbian she is never going to die

[smokestarrules]

gotta say I am a huge sucker for how Adventure Time will sometimes just cut to Princess Bubblegum doing something extremely morally dubious like cutting off a tiny person’s limbs with scissors and then sticking those arms and legs onto another tiny person’s limb stumps but then she'll turn around and go like "Good morning, Finn! Are you ready for a sploinking day?" and whatever atrocities she had just been committing will Never be brought up again.

[jennyandvastraflint]

Xena Reactions S3Ep3

We start with a dude dramatically running away from war... EW. ARES. He just keeps getting uglier

Damn strong armour. Is the armour possessing the guy?

MEDAL OF HEPHESTEUS!?

Cheerful start really

Damn they wanna hurt some guy. Was that Gabby

YEEES XENA AND GABRIELLE

Gosh Xena and Gabrielle are so gorgeous

Is she gathering criminals for a mission XD

OHHH GORGEOUS.

"I am no lady" either way gender.

Xena introducing them

"Just men?" 😂 Gabrielle asking the good questions

Going up against Ares... Blergh. Ares can go choke on his own ego.

Oof, village laid waste

The armour looks so stupid honestly...

Rude!???

Love how Xena's SWORD broke but not Gabrielle's staff 😂

Oh fuck the pretty one was hit

Oh. METAL! Not medal... Yes that makes more sense (auditory processing issues hu)

Blacksmithing fancam

Hate that pretentious guy

CALLISTO SHOUTOUTTT <3

"Wow, nice ceps!" He is GAY. He is so down to suck Ares's dick...

BOOMERANG (Sokka is foaming at the mouth in jealousy)

"Cos I'm gonna kill her" no you won't. Shut up and suck Ares's dick you war simp

Gabrielle commanding them as she should.

Boo for them ignoring her.

"Murderers guarding murderers"

"Were they murderers before they met you?" OUCH

THEY WERE LIKE ME

AAAAAAH

"Am I really who I am, or am I what you made me?"

They're playing their funny guessing game again

Jesus can these murderers CHILL

Gabrielle looking, then going NOOOPE

Please these idiots are still standing there

Ahaha they're guarding each other cos none trusts the other to not kill them

RISE AND SHINEEE

"But what are you here for?"

SO VALID. STAB THAT GUY DEAD.

"You know what men are like" lesbian

Ahaha he just fell asleep

"But you're going to buy them"

Yuck, I wouldn't wanna be stuck with that guy either

"I think I've never been part of a true disaster before" "Cynic"

URGH the sexist prick can go die in a ditch

Ew what kinda straight sex shit is this

"Men are so easy" shdhshd

Gosh he's annoying.. Why r all the men in this annoying

NOOOO HE WANTED TO HURT GABRIELLE

And he grabbed Xena...

DID SHE KILL HIM-

Oop

"That's gotta be uncomfortable" 😂

GABRIELLE MY BABYGIRL

"Is this a private get together or can anyone join in?" Oh she knooows

She's happy they're working together

AHAHA She sensed Ares

Why is Ares' beard so fucking UGLYYYY. Like it literally got worse

Ares you snitch. Why are you telling her. Bro as if THAT isn't also interfering?? 😂

Uhhhh... Whomst?

Damn they throw bombs

Gabrielle ur so amazing

Xena I love you sm

Damn. She's defyyying gravity

Mmmmm, dudebro sexist is sus af

Urgh... They tricked her...

GABBY

YUCK. DISGUSTING. I hope she gets to murder him

I love Gabby

HOLY SHIT. HER SHOVING THE OTHER WOMAN AGAINST THE WALL (Gabrielle 🤝 Jenny)

Glaphyra?

Yeah true but y'know, a bit too many men for my liking, and a whole bunch of others stand around doing nothing about it

They really just want money, hu

Is he gonna free them

Ayoooo double double crossing

Ahsdhsh she used the Doctor strategy. Get captured cos breaking out the cell is easier than breaking into the whole thing

EW. ASSAULT. DISGUSTING. Someone give her a wife

"Hey that's not how a princess fights" gosh get some perspective, man

"Amazon Princess" YOU TELL HIM

OH FUCK. GABRIELLE IS JUST SEEING XENA MURDER WITHOUT RESTRAINT

Something something the old Xena showing for a moment

"Why does everyone wanna kill me?" Honestly it's very understandable

"I'm not leaving!" "Like she said"

Ares is like lmao bye have fun dying, loser

All the steaaaam, brilliant. Gotta be pretty hot in there

YEESH That gotta hurt

Kabooooom

"Look after Xena, okay?" awwwww

"I'd sooner fall for a toad" valid

THEY'RE SO GAAAY

"You're Gabrielle" AAAAAH ❤️

"Question is who would I be without you?"

Ahaha them bickering

Ok so as a whole the episode was very, very meh. I liked the Xena/Gabrielle moments tho

[nohara-rin-dot-mp3]

nart ships: a (very long winding tangent-ed) summary

danzen: hiruzen and danzo. they are not officially together and they never will be because of the nationalism. hiruzen is selfish and doesn't want danzo to die because he loves him. he would much rather sacrifice himself for his sake so that he doesnt have to live with the aftermath of losing him. classic hiruzen trait!!!! doesnt make moves because he also loves inaction. danzo is selfless to a fault and also applies this selflessness to everyone else whether they like it or not. the ends justify the means!!! (he has forgotten what the ends were). he doesnt make moves because of the catholic guilt. they pine after each other silently and occasionally send assassins after each other and then feel bad about the indulgence. fascinating.

the kakashi polycule: kakashi is a sex-repulsed gay demiromantic but he feels most comfortable not referring to his relationships in romantic terms regardless of whether or not the involved parties reciprocate romantic feelings. qprs for life baby!!! obito gai iruka and zabuza are usually my go-tos. all of them are desperately in love with him (the sad wet horse appeal. you know how it is.) but through sheer proximity they also get entangled with each other. mostly sexually. every single possible combination is terrible and everyone is aware of this and it is funny as hell. gai cant remember anyone but kakashis name but he objectively the best one in bed so thats just something they all have to live with. iruka wants to leave but he never does. he never leaves. he has no one but himself to blame.

tenzo: hes transmasc hes so transmasc and he's also gay and demiromantic and asexual. but i think he's pretty sex-positive and doesnt mind participating, even if he doesnt really get anything out of it. he and kakashi are also in a qpr but tenzo is not touching the rest of the polycule with a ten foot pole <3

minakushi: saw a post last week suggesting transfem 4 transfem minakushi and ive been obsessing over it ever since. the vibes are impeccable. war criminal no thoughts head empty minato and girlboss lying to herself to get through the week kushina and they were BOTH GIRLS???? that being said im also a big fan of malewife minato so idk. i go back and forth. any way you spin it kushina HAS to be transfem though i just. need her to be. these guys are one of the healthiest couples in the series i think. which says a lot.

kagurin: KAGURIN KAGURIN MY BELOVEDS!!!!! kind of like narumitsu except rin is literally nothing like edgeworth its just that kaguya has that "i can fix her" vibe that phoenix has (she is just as bad). absolutely impeccable. they have the symbolism. they have the chemistry. toxic yuri forever!!!! rin is aro but in denial and so she Decides to fall in love with kaguya because Moon Lady you know and kaguya tries to fix her and then they both die after a week because they are trying to destroy the world at the same time <3 women <3

tsunade: aroace romance repulsed sex repulsed touch adverse QUEEN!!! she and orochimaru meet up to bitch about everyone else's drama. (orochimaru is allo its just that he doesnt date because no one meets his standards.)

poly team 7: i will die on this hill. all of them are bi and they have a beautiful toxic codependent relationship <3 sakura and ino have flings every once and a while, same with naruto and gaara. the good ending in my head is the one where the three of them run off into the hills to live on a little farm as civilians after the war arc. the canon arc where they trudge back to konoha to drown in bureaucracy as they slowly drift apart from each other and the vision of a better world they once shared is kind of fun too except for the fact that thats DEFINITELY not the intend reading

rock lee: he is the perfect man. i believe he is straight as a ruler and the best guy you could possibly meet and incredibly unlucky. every girl he dates for longer than a week finds out that shes a lesbian. he has an army of lesbian best friends. eventually he had to result to mitosis to produce offspring. this is the only thing i know about boruto canon.

ankrin: yes rin gets two ships this is because she is my favorite. anko and rin happens in the timeline where she is the sole team minato member to stay in konoha and they meet and bond under orochimaru's tutelage. he ends up becoming hokage after minato is drawn and quartered by iwa for his crimes (<3) and they just kind of chill. both of them are aro and lesbians so this arrangement is GREAT for both of them. friends with benefits type of thing i think.

kisita: kisame is a mom friend. that being said i do not think he enjoys mothering itachi all that much. itachi is the exception to the worrying. kisame does it anyways. fascinating relationship. closer to that of a plant that produces flowers to attract an extinct species of bee and the fruit fly that has not adapted to co-exist with the plant but keeps it alive anyways than anything romantic i think.

[rey-jake-therapist]

i have nothing much to add to this thread, but there are some things you said I'd like to reply to.

But TJLC got a lot of hate, too. Just for being a queer reading of the show. I am not talking about criticism, but straight up harrasment and hate. One of the TJLC OGs faced harrasment so bad that she went offline for years.

I wasn't there when Sherlock was big and the ship war blew up but from my experience as a Star Wars fan, there's never a group that's entirely innocent and the other is all bad. I know you are/were a Reylo so I'll try to be very careful with my words here; I saw 'antis' being awful to shippers, accuse them of being abuse apologists and/or compare them to real life criminals' fans, but I also saw shippers being horrible to non shippers, accuse people of being misogynist because they didn't ship Reylo, and attack anyone who dared to say they didn't like TLJ. I saw aggressiveness from both sides, and all the parties involved said the others were the villains.

For a while I thought I shipped Reylo but I also always knew Kylo would die and that this romance was doomed, so I observed all this from an external point of view most of the time, though not being ok with the extreme woobification of Kylo and expressing an opinion of him that largely differed from the pink glassed vision of him that most shippers had, I ended up having more issues with shippers than with antis :( I had the same opinion about most Reylo meta I read as I have about most TJLC's meta: I thought they were often reaching and giving way too much credits to the writers and directors, Rian Johnson in particular. I think it's easy to forget that people like JJ Abrams, Rian Johnson, Gatiss and Moffat, all those guys who write for mainstream media ... They don't think of the fans first, let alone shippers, they write and direct thinking of the general audience first.

This isn't an invitation to discuss Reylo btw, it's old history for me and I'm not interested in discussing it anymore: I bring it up only because when I discovered the mess that the Sherlock fandom used to be, I found a striking resemblance with what I had witnessed when I was involved with the SW fandom. As I told a friend earlier, I'm convinced that if someone really believes in a theory, they'll find 'evidence' everywhere in the story that they are right. And if 'someone' is a group, it will quickly become an echo chamber. Shippers, antis, het ship, queer ship... The way social media are conceived will always favor that. It can actually be hard to navigate in those spaces without having a strong opinion on subjects such as shippings, I for example never could feel I belonged anywhere in terms of fandoms. But I like to think it allowed me to stay objective most of the time about this stuff, so well.

Adlock is not a big ship. Not even in the top 7, I think? TJLCrs believe since Irene is a lesbian and Sherlock is gay, shipping them is homophobic and deserving of mockery.

Duh accusing accusing people of anything because they ship two fictional characters is really a no-go for me, especially when the people who do that base their hate on their personal headcanon.

Sherlock was nowhere being close to be confirmed as homosexual in the BBC or the ACD canon; just because a man isn't interested in dating women, does it mean that he's more interested in dating men, just like a woman who's not interested in dating men isn't necessarily a lesbian. A media that shows a man not interested in dating women isn't necessarily meant to be interpreted as saying "this man's gay".

As for Irene, she fell in love with a man and married him in the ACD canon, and she had a canon crush on Sherlock in the BBC canon; IdK why they had her saying she was gay while a few minutes later she was making rather explicit sexual proposition to Sherlock -I think we, including Sherlock, all know that when she offered him to have dinner with her, it was a metaphor for sex....-, and I don't like it at all, but it's the way it is. Now, people can headcanon whatever they want, but calling others homophobic because they want a fictional man to kiss a fictional woman who's canonically attracted to him and proposed him to have sex is IMHO in no way justifiable. I know you didn't try to justify it btw, and you're right to point out that many Adlock shippers are queer themselves....

The way some fandoms clearly hate women is really appealing. It shows in the way they either villainize female characters or significantly reduce their importance in the male characters's life. Some go even as far as claiming they're not real characters but only living metaphors of said male characters's sexuality. In certain m/f ships, female characters are reduced to walking uterus and aren't allowed to have any other desire than becoming wives and mothers; damn them if they want friends and have other plans for their future, cause only the male character's happiness counts.

I'm all for tolerance towards headcanon's but the stuff I've read lately.... Big yikes.

[mellowdreamer]

HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO VERSE.

this is a modern bending vigilante/hero au featuring zukka, mailee, yueki and a lot of hijinks!

the gaang are all 16-19 here, because while bruce wayne apparently has no problem with it, i’m not comfortable with having vigilantes who haven’t yet gone through puberty.

the avatar world is just one big city, and each of the nations/cities are different suburbs of the city.

kyoshi island, ember island, and boiling rock are small islands off of the city, similar to singapore’s sentosa island.

the city (republic city? i dunno, get back to me on this one) is full of heroes, vigilantes and villains alike. the fire nation is a criminal empire intent on taking over the city. the avatar is a hero who works to keep the balance of heroes and villains in the city, and stop the entire city from becoming a war zone. 

however, the avatar disappeared 100 years ago, and no one was chosen to take up the mantle since. in the avatar’s absence, the fire nation was able to begin its quest to take over the city.

the heroes of the southern water tribe that were left after the various raids have left the southern water suburb on a mission to defeat the fire nation or die.

hakoda, alias chief, left his two young children in charge of their territory, despite them being a) children and b) relatively untrained.

katara, alias painted lady, is the only waterbender left in the southern water tribe. sokka, alias captain boomerang, is the only trained combat hero left in the southern water tribe. all those remaining are either children or incapable of fighting.

side tangent: when sokka does well, he calls himself “grand marshal boomerang” and when he does badly, he calls himself “private boomerang”. thank you to the crimily for coming up with this one!!

one night, when katara and sokka are out on patrol, they get chased by fire nation goons into the ice off of the southern harbour. there, they get into a fight over sokka’s sexist remarks and katara’s yelling having attracted the fire nation goons, and katara’s waterbending gets out of control. she breaks open an iceberg, only to find someone in there.

the two siblings approach the iceberg and break the person out. they are shocked to find a young boy in the unmistakable uniform of the avatar, resting next to a creature they’ve never seen before.

they wake the boy up, to find that his name is aang and he’s the next avatar. and that he has no idea of the fire nation’s quest to conquer the entire city, or the fact that the air nomads – heroes that didn’t resign to just one area of the city – hadn’t been seen for the same hundred years that he must’ve spent in the iceberg.

katara and a reluctant sokka take aang back to the apartment building where the remaining southern water suburb residents have been living and introduce him to everyone.

later that night, the three go out on patrol together. it’s a quiet night, and sokka thinks they might actually get through it without any incidents, until they find a woman being mugged.

sokka and katara are about to intervene, but aang takes down both thugs in a matter of seconds. aang, ignoring the slack jawed shock of his friends, asks if they could go penguin sledding. katara goes to agree, but is cut off by the shout of “MY HONOUR” from a nearby rooftop.

zuko, alias dragon prince, runs from the rooftop before they could find him. his father ozai, alias firelord, had sent him and his uncle iroh – formerly dragon of the west, now retired – to find the avatar. zuko had been banished from the fire nation territory years ago, after speaking up about a plan that would’ve cost them a whole division of goons and refusing to fight his father in an agni kai.

the kyoshi warriors are similar to the birds of prey or the amazons; they’re an all-female crime-fighting unit not directly associated with any of the kingdoms or nations. suki is their leader, and they don’t have secret identities like the other heroes.

iroh, bumi, piandao, jeong-jeong and p*kku are all retired heroes and a part of the order of the white lotus.

toph is the blind bandit and a hero, albeit a less morally structured and ‘good’ hero than the avatar, the painted lady, and captain boomerang. she was a part of the underground fighting ring ‘earth rumble’ when the gaang infiltrated the ring looking for intel and convinced her that her powers could be used for something better than beating bitches blue and making bank while doing it.

azula is firebolt, and she is as brilliant as she is terrifying. she’s arguably more feared than the firelord, mainly because she’s the one who frequents other areas and actually goes on missions. ozai just sits on his stupid throne and yells at people and manipulates his children like the little bitch he is.

mai and ty lee are azula’s sidekicks, and are known as blade and tightrope respectively. also: they’re lesbians, harold.

yue is a part of the northern water tribe’s group of heroes, alongside her family. they tried to marry her off to hahn and have her trained in healing instead of fighting, but she rebelled and threatened to go out on her own, so they relented. yue’s hero alias is tui, but she will be called sailor moon at least three times.

jet and his freedom fighters are a group of anti-heroes who aren’t afraid to hurt innocent people in their pursue of ‘justice’.

zhao is a villain who works for the firelord, under the alias admiral, and he’s an asshole. using the yuyan archers, he manages to capture aang and takes him to a fire nation stronghold. zuko finds out about this, and not wanting admiral asshole to get the upper hand, dresses as the blue spirit for the first time to rescue aang.

during the siege of the north, zhao “kills” yue. she fakes her own death and disappears into hiding until the final battle, in which she kills zhao because it’s what she deserves.

the gaang know that yue is alive, because she’s nice enough to not do them like that, but they have to keep up appearances. because of this, sokka amps up the heartbreak and clings to suki a lot. that’s why a lot of outsiders begin to think that sokka dated yue and is dating suki, though in reality yue and suki are dating each other.

zuko and iroh, after the siege of the north and a trap set by azula, disappear into hiding and decide to take refuge in ba sing se, knowing that the fire nation wouldn’t think to look for them there.

ba sing se is a section of the city that has been fenced off in order to prevent an influx of heroes and villains. the dai li, who keep a tight grip on the suburb and ensure that the residents don’t know of the war raging outside the walls, are a group of “heroes”.

of course, the fence does nothing to prevent zuko and iroh, the gaang, and later azula, mai and ty lee from entering ba sing se and turning it into their own warzone.

iroh fulfils his dream of finally owning a tea shop and zuko, when not working in the tea shop, spends his nights lingering in the shadows of ba sing se as the blue spirit.

sokka, desperate for a warm drink and something to do while the others do their bending training, wanders into the jasmine dragon one afternoon and is served by “lee”.

neither know the other’s civilian identity, so there’s no shady business, just pining over the cute customer/server. sokka strikes a conversion and the two begin flirting chatting. it’s going really well, and you can almost see the romance blooming.

and then in walks azula, flanked by mai and ty lee, all in costume.

sokka and zuko both leap up from their seats and into fighting stances. both are confused as to why the other jumped up, and then azula calls zuko brother and it clicks in sokka’s mind.

he starts yelling at zuko for a lot of things, including yue’s “death” which is how zuko realises who he is. zuko starts yelling back because he’s only once met a fight he didn’t like. in the background of this argument, iroh is trying to fight azula, mai and ty lee to varying degrees of success.

it’s funny that i say degrees, because this is when azula sets fire to the jasmine dragon. iroh grabs the two dumbass arguing teens and shoves them outside as he too runs, telling zuko to meet at their rendezvous point at sunrise.

azula, mai and ty lee chase after zuko and sokka (who are still arguing as they run from the three girls). mai and ty lee don’t want to chase them, because zuko has always been better to them than azula, but defying azula would be a death sentence.

sokka pulls zuko into a building for coverage, and because azula is azula, she summons the dai li and has them surround the building. there would be no leaving without confronting the dai li, and thus zuko and sokka are trapped.

sokka confronts zuko and basically asks how he could justify the fire nation’s villainy, how he could support a monster who’s killing hundreds of people. zuko defends his father blindly because he’s been raised to believe that his father is right, that his father has to be right, and this southern water scum is wrong. but zuko’s losing his grip on the argument and is becoming more and more hysterical but sokka is so calm, so sure of himself, and the dam finally breaks.

zuko crumples to the ground in tears, and now sokka’s gotta deal with this because ozai is a shitface and has been brainwashing his son for years and wow fuck the fire nation.

mai and ty lee, having taken down the dai li, burst in to find zuko crying his eyes out in sokka’s arms. they teasingly ask if they’re interrupting something and laugh as zuko next to sprints out of the building, sokka hot on his heels.

this is the last straw for zuko, who defects from the fire nation, hangs up his dragon prince uniform and fully becomes the blue spirit, a hero who works with the gaang to eventually take down the fire nation.

also, at some stage zuko rescues a turtleduck that got stuck up a tree. don’t ask me how this happens.

[feralaot]

hiiii, just a curious anon passing by!! what are your aot ships and how did you come to like these pairs? :DD (sorry if this has been asked before, i had a grand time reading your posts and might've missed it!)

aww thanks for enjoying my stuff!! that’s what I’m here for :) and oh boy, here we go... this is gonna become a long post

first is my otp, reibert. I could go on about them for hours. my favorite pairing for so many reasons holy shit

• we saw in season 4 that reiner was kind of the runt of the warriors and had a rivalry with porco. on the other hand, bertholdt was there to pick him up when he was knocked down and never belittled or attacked him, also seen when we’re shown marcel’s death during the paradis operation. when annie attacked him, bertholdt just wanted it to stop, and he never blamed him for what happened 😭

• of course this also leads into the shared trauma dynamic, they went through so so much shit together and basically became war criminals when they were just CHILDREN. and they believed they were doing the right thing. their story is just so tragic bruh I can’t

• we see that reiner suffers from a split personality and bertholdt is obviously very affected by it, and it hurts him to see reiner like that. “we’re not soldiers, we’re warriors.” and of course how he covers his mouth and looks upset when reiner talks about being soldiers.... ugh it hurts

• now that I mention his split personality I want to add something based on that: reiner isn’t actually into historia. he’s gay. homosexual. I say this because in people with split personalities it’s not uncommon for them to also have different sexualities for their personas, e.g. one personality can be straight and the other can be gay, bi, or what have you. thus I believe his “true” identity is gay and his soldier persona thinks he’s straight since he’s been conditioned into thinking he’s a soldier, and the “perfect soldier” needs the “perfect girl”, thus leading him to believe he likes historia when he... really doesn’t. and bertholdt has to watch this happen knowing that it’s all an unwilling masquerade, but he can’t say anything about it for fear of blowing their cover. (historia is a lesbian anyway, which I’ll get into later)

• we very clearly see that reiner is suffering a lot from a guilty conscience in season 4 (re: suicide attempt) and he’s a broken man after coming back from paradis... alone. he blames himself for what happened and just wants to die because he has nobody left to love. of course this is why I make modern aus where everyone is alive and happy because I’m coping skghskjgh

• just imagine the long-term mutual pining potential because they’re both dense as hell and won’t admit their love for each other GDHKJGFHD. one doesn’t admit his feelings because he doesn’t want to damage his pride and the other doesn’t admit his because he doesn’t want to risk ruining their relationship as it is and losing what they already have. two bros chilling in a hot tub five feet apart because they won't admit their undying love for each other

• TLDR they’re in love dont @ me

next we have yumihisu. my girls....... my giiiiirls.......

• I love how this is one of the ships that almost everyone in the fandom can unanimously agree on, and for good reason. their dynamic is just so sweet and it’s so obvious that they care for each other immensely, e.g. ymir believing it’s her responsibility to protect her

• I also really like the idea of historia being the “popular girl” and ymir doesn’t like her at first because she doesn’t get the hype but once they start talking more ymir really warms up to her and eventually it leads to the mutual pining

• it’s just so obvious that ymir loves her. so much. like that scene where she wrote a letter to historia before she went to marley saying that she just wishes they could’ve gotten married? felt like a stab in the chest. why couldn’t they get married and be happy 😭

• I’m such a slut for the “peasant falls in love with royalty” dynamic anyway

erurihan my beloveds

• okay listen I love levihan and eruri so much but consider: they’re all dating each other 👀 I hc levi as poly anyway, he doesn’t seem like the kind of person concerned about monogamy. levi has two hands after all and they’re for hange and erwin

• all they have is each other. they’re the only veterans left and they’ve lost so many friends and found family and I just. ufhgufhgkjbhhh they all care about each other so much. (pre season 3 because I’m coping)

• YOU live in a society, I live in denial

I have other ships so if you want a part 2 just ask 🙏

[4cupsanxiety5tbspdepression]

things i, a gay™, quote to myself

- get back here lesbian

- wouldn't you like to weather boy?

- i am a girlboss i am a war criminal i am a lunatic. i am clinically insane & the next virgin mary & i am never going to die (fruitcakefemme)

- oh damn she be into Furries

- a special place in hell? for me? that's actually really thoughtful (broti gupta)

- Can you feel your heart burning? Can you feel the struggle within? The fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. You cannot kill me in a way that matters (personsonable)

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

AIGHT Y’ALL I wasn’t tagged but I’m doing this anyways because f u c k  i t

It's the year 2021 and you're obsessed with The Karate Kid. How are you feeling?

Deadasss weird as fuck, my dude. Like...out of all the things I could’ve predicted happening in our lord’s year 2021, it definitely was NOT getting hyperfixated on a hammy gay ship with a punk and a nerd from a goddamn karate soap opera. And yet...here we are??? I will never understand hyperfixations, my guy. But I’ve met a lot of really cool people in this fandom, so I can’t really complain.

Did you grow up with TKK or are you new to the series?

I have never seen a single Karate Kid movie in my entire life. When I was a kid, it looked kinda dumb so I never got into it XD But then I saw my roommate watching Cobra Kai on Youtube Red one day (he has every streaming service known to man) and I was hooked. And...here I am!

We gotta do the basics. Favorite character:  

Literally EVERYONE except for Kreese, Yasmine, Kyler, and Tory, sorry stans

Okay but if we gotta pick, Johnny Lawrence is my Problematic Fave. Also I love my boy Daniel, he’s trying his best!!! And Amanda LaRusso, we stan a queen!!!

Among the kids, definitely Miguel, with Demetri as a close second. I also love Sam, Aisha, Moon, and Hawk (pre- and post-Bastardization Arc, anyways XD)!

Favorite ship:  

Take a look at my username and take a WILD FUCKING GUESS lmao Yes it’s Eli/Demetri because DUH, every interaction they have is so fucking gay and Eli fucking saved him!!! And came back to him!!! And betrayed the world’s most terrifying dojo with a WAR CRIMINAL SENSEI all for Demetri!!! And how Demetri was willing to forgive him for everything at the drop of a hat because he always had faith there was still good in his best friend??? That’s TRUE LOVE motherfuckers. Please let them kiss in Season 4. I will sell you all of my limbs. Sam/Miguel is a close second because they’re cute as shit and it’s just so lovely to see two people so unapologetically smitten with each other. They are in LOVE, and I will RIOT if they break up again!!! Keep Sam and Miguel together 2k21!!!

Underrated character:

SAMANTHA LARUSSO!!! The amount of hate my girl gets for acting like a normal teenager and fucking up occasionally JUST like the rest of the cast makes me want to start punching things. She cares SO MUCH about her friends!!! And she loves the shit out of Miguel!!! She hasn’t always been the best friend but you know what??? Neither has Hawk, and we still forgave his ass!!! Also LET HER BE FEMININE but also kick utter ass, my god!!! Femininity should not be synonymous with being weak, y’all! ALSO DEMETRI, like yes, he likes to complain and occasionally run his mouth, but guess what else he likes to do??? Never give up on the love of his life his best friend Eli Moskowitz and refuse to lose faith in him no matter how much of a little shit he’s become, and I for one think that’s very badass of him. Also the way he takes care of Eli pre-Cobra Kai in his own snarky bastard way makes me absolutely Weak and needs more appreciation. Like the dude has charisma and COULD have probably made other friends and left Eli behind if he wanted, but did he??? No, he wants the weepy loser with the lip scar in the polo shirts and dorky sweaters and will protect him as much as his wimpy ass is able!!!

Underrated ship (don’t say therapy, lol):  

Among the adults, Daniel/Amanda!!! Like maybe I just don’t watch that much tv, but it seems kinda rare to me to see a happily married hetero couple, and it’s just nice to see a married couple who genuinely love each other and where there’s not like...lingering resentment or some shit. I feel like this ship gets overshadowed by Lawrusso a lot (which like--okay, fair!!! Daniel and Johnny do have a ridiculous amount of chemistry, and the gay undertones are undeniable, so I get it), and it makes me kinda sad. I do love Lawrusso, but I don’t like when Amanda has to get her heart broke for it to happen, you feel? Among the kids, honestly YasMoon. Like I really love the idea of Yasmine trying to better herself because of Moon’s influence on her and because Moon like...inspires her to be a better person, I guess? With their pretty strong friendship, it just makes more sense to me for Yasmine to get a redemption arc through Moon than through Demetri. ALSO girls DO often pull the whole “mean girl” shtick to cover up being closeted lesbians, and Moon IS canonically bi, so it could work!!! I just think this one could be a really interesting Friends to Lovers take, and could make a really nice coming-out arc for Yas. And MoonPiper too, honestly!!! Like they only got 5 seconds of screentime so I understand WHY it’s underrated, but I still love what we DID get and loved that there was a canon gay ship (even if only for 1 scene lmao). I’m really excited to potentially see more of them in Season 4!!! Please, I’m begging!!!

Wax On, Wax Off or Sweep the Leg?

Sweep the Leg because it will always be deeply hilarious to me how Demetri took note of the first move Eli ever used on him and spent presumably weeks perfecting it OUT OF SPITE just to get him back with it at the soccer game MONTHS later. Just goes to show how OBSESSED Demetri is with Eli and their little karate rivalry which is just NOT straight, I’m sorry

Which of Daniel’s dumb little outfits is your favorite?

There’s something so funny about this pretentious little fuck walking around in fancy suits once he becomes a #SuccessfulBusinessman, and still occasionally trying to do karate in a full-ass suit (take THAT, Tom Cole’s boba!!!) I’m also a big fan of how he looks in his gi with his little headband. Still killing that look as a 40-50-something!!!

Character from the films you most want to return, who’s not Terry Silver:

Tbh I have still never seen a single Karate Kid movie (they took them off of Netflix, RIP), so...I don’t really care if they bring anyone else back??? I’m invested in the characters we already have in the show, I don’t need some rando from the movies to make a cameo to have a good time XD The only character I really wanted them to bring back was Ali, and they already did, so like...I’m good??? That’s all I really needed, I can die in peace now XD

Scene that lives in your head rent-free:

Basically any fluffy Elimetri scene, but 5 in particular: ~Miguel first meeting Eli and Demetri at the lunch table, and Eli looking at Demetri like he hung every goddamn star in the sky ~Demetri going off at a terrifying, “unhinged” karate sensei on the first day of Cobra Kai because he made fun of Eli’s lip and Demetri is not about that shit ~ELI STEALING DEMETRI’S NACHO AND SMIRKING AT HIM, LIKE EXCUSE ME SIR PLEASE BE A LITTLE LESS HOMOSEXUAL IN FRONT OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND ~Eli yanking Demetri onstage during Valley Fest to hold a board, and Demetri being visibly like...extremely turned on when Eli breaks said board ~ELI SAVING DEMETRI DURING THE CHRISTMAS FIGHT, ELI APOLOGIZING, DEMETRI AND ELI KICKING COBRA ASS TOGETHER AKSBDCUWYVCBU

Will Anthony LaRusso ever be relevant?

I hope not! He’s kind of a funny meme character to pop up now and again but I don’t think he deserves a serious plotline when there are so many more interesting characters to follow.

You live in The Valley and are forced into the karate gang war. Which dojo do you join?

Miyagi-Do because Cobra Kai would eat me alive. Also I’d probably straight up get stuck and die in that cement mixer, if I even made it that far XD Besides, being salty that your friend who you have a crush on likes martial arts better than you and starting martial arts to impress them but also being too lazy to join anything TOO intense is a Big Mood and I am certainly not speaking from personal experience here, no sirree

What’s your training montage song?

"Shut Up and Drive” by Rihanna for a weight-training and bicep-flexing montage, “Whatever It Takes” by Imagine Dragons for a more intense punching-and-kicking-shit montage. I don’t know why this is, I just feel it in my heart.

It’s the crossover event of the century! Which TV show are you combining with Cobra Kai for an hour-long Saturday night special?

*Briefly panics because I don’t actually watch that much TV and most of the stuff I do watch is fantasy/sci fi shit that absolutely would not work for a CK crossover*

Hmmmm okay but ACTUALLY

You know what would be fucking funny as hell would be an It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia crossover. Allow me to elaborate: ~The Gang goes to LA on vacation during the height of the Karate Dojo Wars. They literally can get barely anything done without all these goddamn karate-fighting teenagers getting in the way. ~They are all very annoyed by this. Even the most obscure of tourist attractions is eventually intercepted by karate fights. ~Mac tries to join Cobra Kai because he sees all this karate fighting on, and wants to unquestionably prove both his badassery and masculinity. Both Johnny and Kreese are like “Wtf are you doing here? Aren’t you like 30?” ~Mac gets a planet-sized crush on Johnny after all of 5 minutes and endlessly gushes to the gang about him. The gang mercilessly roast him about this and about how much of a pathetic loser with his life together in no way whatsoever Johnny sounds like. They proceed to have exactly 0 self awareness about this. ~The Waitress is in town visiting family or something, and Charlie is stalking her, as per usual. However, every time he’s about to go up and talk to her, a pack of battling Miyagi-Dos and Cobra Kais throwing punches and kicks everywhere blocks his path. One times, Mac is among one of these packs and Charlie is like “???? He didn’t get kicked out of that teen karate dojo yet???” ~Seeing how much the Kids These Days seem to like fighting, Charlie drops by a local high school to try and sell Fight Milk to the kids doing karate. Only Kyler and Brucks buy into it, and subsequently get the entire West Valley High wrestling team sick. Charlie is inevitably arrested, as Counselor Blatt thinks he’s selling the kids drugs. ~Dennis makes a plan to have sex with every hot chick he can in Los Angeles. He meets Ali on a dating app post-divorce, and inevitably tries to bang her. It doesn’t work. ~Frank crashes the rental car, and inevitably the gang ends up at one of Daniel’s dealerships. Dee quickly takes a liking to Daniel and is like “Watch, assholes--Imma homewreck this guy’s marriage.” She starts frequenting the dealerships to attempt to flirt with Daniel, until one day she walks in on him having sex with Johnny in a back room and she’s like “Is that the guy from Mac’s goddamn dojo?!?!” ~Dennis, of course, tries to sleep with Amanda. Amanda is not having it, and rebukes him in the most snarky, Amanda-esque way possible. Dennis is just like “Oh not AGAIN--the women in this goddamn diva city have too high of standards!” ~Later on, the gang is at the beach and Dennis spots the blonde lady he went out on an ill-fate date with, and decides to give it another shot--that is, until he sees her go up and kiss another woman and he’s like “IS THAT THE LADY FROM THE CAR DEALERSHIP??? STUPID-KARATE-KICK-COMMERCIAL’S WIFE?!? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.” ~Dee complains to Dennis about her lack of luck getting laid, and Dennis is just like “Oh come ON, is everyone in Los Angeles gay???” Smash cut to Hawk and Demetri having sex, Moon and Piper making out, Bert and Nate holding hands, Chris and Mitch doing oral, and Amanda, Ali, and Carmen having a threesome. ~Frank tries to scam Kreese into buying cheaply-made karate equipment for his dojo. The gang ends up having to leave LA because Kreese is quite literally plotting all of their murders.

For tagging, uuuuhhhhhh @jackonthelongwalk @soe-leo @max-eagle-fang @cc-tinslebee @backawayfromthegay @asphodel-storm do the thing, if y’all haven’t yet!

[liathgray]

Ranking fmab characters worst to best

(Please don’t take this seriously)

1. Khymbleigh

- Lives in the sewers

- Committed mass murder

- Has a silly idiot hat

- Called me a dyke :(

2. Shou Tucker

- fuck this guy.

- Electric chair

- Also hes balding what a loser

3. Dwarf in the Bong

- mike wazoski lookin ass

- Literally the greasiest motherfucker on the planet

- Was one of the only characters introduced by NOT beating up Ed or Al..??

- Smells like rotten cabbage

4. Moy Rustang

- Incel

- Has stupid hair

- War criminal

- Teen dad

- Canon fat tits

- Useless🥰

5. Envy

- a bitch

6. Whorehenheim

- deadbeat

- Has never taken a shower in his life

- Only wears glasses because he thinks its quirky and cute

- Took the fattest bong rip of all time

- Also killed thousands

7. Tim Marcoh

- doctor and deserted the military

- honestly pretty chill

- But his name is Tim so... *cocks gun*

8. Bradley

- :/

- Killed a lesbian and thus is homophobic

- He wears an eyepatch despite having both eyes.

9. Elicia and Gracia Hughes

- tax evaders

10. Jean Havoc

- cool dude

- Cohntry boyy i luv youuu

- Did not look respectfully

- Smokes. Must be executed

11. Gluttony, pride and Sloth

- assholes but also what the fuck

- This boy like 10

- Wheres his babysitter

- fast????????

12. Armstrong

- his arms are strong

- Lil bitch

- Got his ass beat my his hot lesbian sister

13. Lust

- is sexy

- Murderer :(

- Big tibbies so she gets extra points

- She was just checking if roy and havoc were cake

14. Scar’s brother

- Truth took his cock.

15. Truth

- took Scar’s brother’s cock

16. Barry the chopper & the slicer

- criminals

- Almost killed Ed and Al

- Kinda sexy tho 😳

17. Greed (OG)

- greasy garbage man

- Got cucked after two eps

- Has dumb hair

- Was funny

18. Yoki

- He yo the ki or whatever

- I dont remember him

19. Fu and Lan Fan

- Legs for days!!!

- Breaking and entering

- Lan fan smugly cutting off her arm and saying “I beat you” awakened something in me

- Fu got shanked :(

20. Rose Thomas

- Maybe im gay. What of it?

- Almost shot Ed lmaooo

- Probably owns a ukulele

- Local

21. Greed 2.0

- stupid

- Beats the fuck out of Bradley

- Might’ve eaten dirt

- Went camping for five months instead of being helpful

- Aphobe :/

22. Ling

- freeloader

- Diabetic??????

- Smells like broke

- Gay little bitch boy

23. Sheska

- haha nerd

- I’m in love with you

- Was only in two episodes :(

24. Captain Buccaneer

- Off his shits always

- Took ten years to die lmfaooo

- MLM but a gatekeeper

25. Major Miles

- His facial hair is atrocious

- Otherwise? King

- Sunglasses indoors... ur on thin ice

- Turn around bright eyes...

26. Father Cornello

- So theres this middle aged man...

- Won the sexiest character poll on twitter

- Re🤢🤢 l🤢🤢. r-r-religous🤢🤢🤢c-cor🤮🤮 religious corruption

- Got gunched lol

26. Kain Fuery

- Has watched pulp fiction

- Haha glasses

- Probably volunteers at a animal shelter

27. Vato falman

- Skinny legend

- Genuinely cool and has development at briggs

- Go white boy go

28. Heymans Breda

- Has a moped

- Could crush my spine but wouldnt ❤️

- Crew cut 🤢🤢

29. Xiao Mei

- small and filled with rage

- Has good taste

- Gunch??????

- Literally so small please be careful

30. Gay chimeras

- TWO MEN

- WE’RE BURLY

- WE’LL DO WHAT YOU WANT

- cottagecore

31. Pinako Rockbell

- has been high off her ass for the past three years

- Sultry doctor who lives in a faraway town 😳😳😳 hello ma’am 😳

- Hair is definitely a weapon. Shits pointy

- Home wrecker

32. Sig

- wide

- Very wide

- Kiss kiss

- Only eats potatoes

33. Riza Hawkeye

- big arms big arms big arms biG ARMS BIG ARMS

- Would kill roy on sight

- she should kiss me

- rn

34. Maes Hughes

- had a band in highschool named frog soda or some shit like that

- Pretty cool! Nice to ed and al and winry

- Good dad

- Dead lol

35. Olivier Armstrong

- goth gf

- Sword.... sword hot.....

- Killed a dude for being annoying and I respect that

- Snorts snow and says its coke to freak people out

- Gay ass....

36. Ed Elric

- ok gay boy

- Makes everyones life hell. Good for him

- NERD????? A FUCKING NERD???

- I’d steal his lunch money

- No tiddies?

- :/

- Short king

37. Maria Ross and Denny Brosh

- wlw mlm solidarity

- maria ... hold my h-hand...

- literally had nothing to do with this but got McFcuked anyways

38. Scar

- acab

- Was right

- Dilf

39. Al Elric

- likes cats so he’s automatically superior

- Malnourished 😔✌️

- Cha cha slide in full armour

- Mean but only to Ed ❤️

- I love when he *king noises*

40. Izumi Curtis

- kiss me sexy woman

- Stole from briggs because fuck the military

- .. m...milf..

41. Paninya

- fucking superb you funky little lesbian

42. Winry Rockbell

- NERD!!! NERD !!

- Curb stomps her enemies

- Acab but also stole Riza’s look so 😳

- Is she.. u kno💅

43. Mei Chang

- her life is a YA drama

- gained a dad by being perfect

- bullies Ed

- is better than everyone

And finally..... the best character in fmab...

Resurrected Trisha

- 😳😳😳

- Yes i do the cookin yes i do the cleanin

- 😩😩😩

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

[cruisingthedemimonde]

America’s Gay Men in WW2

World War Two was a “National Coming Out” for queer Americans.

I don’t think any other event in history changed the lives of so many of us since Rome became Christian. 

For European queers the war brought tragedy.

The queer movement began in Germany in the 1860s when trans activist Karl Ulrichs spoke before the courts to repeal Anti-Sodomy laws. From his first act of bravery the movement grew and by the 1920s Berlin had more gay bars than Manhattan did in the 1980s. Magnus Hirschfeld’s “Scientific Humanitarian Committee” fought valiantly in politics for LGBT rights and performed the first gender affirmation surgeries. They were a century ahead of the rest of the world.

The Nazis made Hirschfeld - Socialist, Homosexual and Jew - public enemy number one.

The famous image of the Nazis burning books? Those were the books of the Scientific Humanitarian Committee. Case studies of the first openly queer Europeans, histories, diaries - the first treasure trove of our history was destroyed that day.

100,000 of us were charged with felonies. As many as 15,000 were sent to the camps, about 60% were murdered.

But in America the war brought liberation.

In a country where most people never even heard the word “homosexual” , historian John D’emilio wrote the war was “conducive both to the articulation of  a homosexual identity and to the more rapid evolution of a gay subculture. (24)” The war years were “a Watershed (Eaklor 68)”

Now before we begin I need to give a caveat. The focus of this first post is not lesbians, transfolk or others in our community. Those stories have additional complexity the story of cisgender homosexual men does not. Starting with gay men lets me begin in the simplest way I can, in subsequent posts I’ll look at the rest of our community.

Twilight Aristocracy: Being Queer Before the War

I want us to go back in time and imagine the life of the typical queer American before the war. Odds are you lived on a farm and simply accepted the basic fact that you would marry and raise children as surely as you were born or would die. You would have never seen someone Out or Proud. If you did see your sexuality or gender in contrary ways you had no words to express it, odds are even your doctor had never heard the term “Homosexual. In your mind it was just a quirk, without a name or possible expression.

In the city the “Twilight Aristocracy” lived hidden, on the margins and exposed their queerness only in the most coded ways. Gay men “Dropping pins” with a handkerchief in a specific pocket. Butch women with key chains heavy enough to show she didn’t need a man to carry anything for her. A secret language of “Jockers” and “Nances” “Playing Checkers” during a night out. There is a really good article on the queer vernacular here

And these were “Lovers in a Dangerous Time.”

In public one must act as straight as possible. Two people of the same gender dancing could be prosecuted. Cross dressing, even with something as trivial as a woman wearing pants, would run afoul of obscenity laws.

The only spaces we had for ourselves were dive bars, run by organized crime. But even then one must be sure to be circumspect, and act straight. Anyone could be an undercover cop. If a gaze was held to long, or lovers kissed in a corner the bar would be raided. Police saw us as worthy candidates for abuse so beatings were common and the judge would do all he could to humiliate you.

Now Michael Foucault, the big swinging french dick of queer theory, laid out this whole theory about how the real policing in a society happens inside our heads. Ideas about sin, shame, normalcy, mental illness can all be made to control people, and the Twilight Aristocracy was no different.

While cruising a park at night, or settled on the sofa with a lifelong lover, the thoughts of Priests and Doctors haunted them. “Am I living in Sin? Am I someone God could love?” “Is this healthy? Have I gone mad? Is this a true love or a medical condition which requires cure?”

There was no voice in America yet healing our self doubt, or demanding the world accept us as we are. And that voice, the socialist Harry Hay, did not come during the war, but it would come shortly after directly because of it.

Johnny Get Your Gun… And are you now or ever been a Homosexual?

For the first time in their lives millions of young men crossed thousands of miles from their home to the front.

But before they made that brave journey they had another, unexpected and often torturous journey. The one across the doctor’s office at a recruiting station.

In the nineteenth century queerness moved from an act, “Forgive me Father I have sinned, I kissed another man” to something you are, “The homosexual subspecies can be identified by certain physical and psychological signs.” 

These were the glory days of patriarchy and white supremacy, those who transgressed the line between masculine and feminine called the whole culture into question. So doctors obsessed themselves with queerness, its origins, its signs, its so called catastrophic racial consequences and its cure.

“Are you a homosexual?” doctors asked stunned recruits. 

If you were closeted but patriotic, you would of course deny the accusation. But the doctor would continue his examination by checking if you were a “Real Man.”

“Do you have a girlfriend? Did you like playing sports as a kid?”

If you passed that, the doctor would often try and trip you up by asking about your culture.

“Do you ever go basketeering?” he would ask, remembering to check if there was any lisp or effeminacy in your voice.

Finally if the doctor felt like it he could examine your body to see if you were a member of the homosexual subspecies. 

Your gag reflex would be tested with a tongue depressor. Another hole could be carefully examined as well.

Humiliating enough for a straight man. But for a gay recruit the consequences could be life threatening.

Medical authorities knew homosexuals were weak, criminal and mad. To place them among the troops would weaken unit cohesion at the very least, result in treachery at the worst. In civilian life doctors had much the same thing to say. 

The recruit needed a cure. And a doctor was always ready. With talk therapy, hypnosis, drugs, electroshock and forced surgeries of the worst kinds there was always a cure ready at hand.

Thankfully the doctors were not successful in their task, one doctor wrote “for every homosexual who was referred or came to the Medical Department, there  were five or ten who never were detected. (d’Emilio 25)”

Here’s the irony though, by asking such pointed and direct questions to people closeted to themselves it forced them to confront their sexuality for the first time. 

Hegarty writes, “As a result of the screening policies, homosexuality became part of wartime discourse. Questions about homosexual desire and behavior ensured that every man inducted into the armed forces had to confront the possibility of homosexual feelings or experiences. This was a kind of massive public education about homosexuality. Despite—and be-cause of—the attempts to eliminate homosexuals from the military, men with same-sex desires learned that there were many people like themselves (Hegarty 180)”

And then it gave them a golden opportunity to have fun.

The 101st Airborn - Homosocial and Homosexual

“Homosocial” refers to a gender segregated space. And they were often havens for gay men. The YMCA for example really was a place for young gay men to meet.

Now the government was already aware of the kind of scandalous sexual behaviour young men can get up to when left to themselves. Two major government programs before the war, the Federal Transient Program and the Civilian Conservation Corps focused on unattached young men, but over time these spaces became highly suspect and the focus shifted to helping family men so as to avoid giving government aid to ‘sexual perversion’ in these homosocial spaces.

But with the war on there was no choice but to put hundreds of thousands of young men in their own world. All male boot camps, all male bases, all male front lines. 

The emotional intensity broke down the barriers between men and the strict enforcement of gendered norms.

On the front the men had no girlfriend, wife or mother to confide in. The soldier’s body was strong and heroic but also fragile. Straight men held each other in foxholes and shared their emotional vulnerability to each other. Gender lines began to blur as straight men danced together in bars an action that would result in arrest in many American cities.

Bronski writes, “Men were now more able to be emotional, express their feelings, and even cry. The stereotypical “strong, silent type,” quintessentially heterosexual, that had characterized the American Man had been replaced with a new, sensitive man who had many of the qualities of the homosexual male. (Bronski 152)”

Homosexual men discovered in this environment new freedoms to get close to one another without arousing suspicion.

“Though the military  officially maintained an anti-homosexual stance, wartime conditions nonetheless offered a protective covering that facilitated interaction  among gay men (d’Emilio 26)”

Bob Ruffing, a chief petty officer in the Navy described this freedom as follows, ‘When I first got into the navy—in the recreation hall, for instance— there’d be  eye contact, and pretty soon you’d get to know one or two people and kept branching out. All of a sudden you had a vast network of friends, usually through  this eye contact thing, some through outright cruising. They could get away with  it in that atmosphere. (d’Emilio 26) ”

Another wrote about their experience serving in the navy in San Diego, “‘Oh, these are more my kind of people.’ We became very chummy, quite close, very fraternal, very protective of each other. (Hegarty 180)”

Some spaces within the army became queer as well. The USO put on shows for soldiers, and since they could not find women to play parts, the men often dressed in drag. “impersonation. For actors and audiences, these performances were a needed relief from the stress of war. For men who identified as homosexual, these shows were a place where they could, in coded terms, express their sexual desires, be visible, and build a community. (Bronski 148)”

“Here you see three lovely “girls”

 With their plastic shapes and curls.

 Isn’t it campy? Isn’t it campy?

 We’ve got glamour and that’s no lie;

 Can’t you tell when we swish by?

 Isn’t it campy? Isn’t it campy?”

The words camp and swish being used in the gay subculture and connected to effeminate gay men.

I would have to assume, more than a few transwomen gravitated to these spaces as well.

Even the battlefield itself provided opportunities for gay fraternization. A beach in Guam for example became a secret just for the gay troops, they called it Purple Beach Number 2, after a perfume brand.

This homoerotic space was not confined to the military, but spilled out into civilian life as well.

Donald Vining was a pacifist who stated bluntly his homosexuality to the recruitment board as his mother needed his work earnings, and if you wanted be a conscientious objector you had to apply to go to an objector’s camp. He became something of a soldier chaser, working in the local YMCA and volunteering at the soldier’s canteen in New York he hooked up with soldiers still closeted for a night of passion but many more who were open about who they were. 

After the war he was left with a network of gay friends and a strong sense of belonging to a community. It was dangerous tho, he was victim of robberies he could not report because they happened during hook ups, but police were always ready to raid gay bars when they were bored. “It was obvious that [the police] just had to make a few arrests to look busy,” he protested in his diary.  “It was a travesty of justice and the workings of the police department (d’Emilio 30).״

Now it might seem odd he was able to plug into a community like that, but over the war underground gay bars appeared across the country for their new clientele. Even the isolated Worcester Mass got a gay bar.

African American men, barred from combat on the front lines, were not entirely barred from the gay subculture in the cities. For example in Harlem the jazz bar Lucky Rendevous was reported in Ebony as whites and blacks “steeped in the swish jargon of its many lavender costumers. (Bronski 149)”

The Other War: Facing Homophobia

“For homosexual soldiers, induction into the military forced a sudden confrontation with their sexuality that highlighted the stigma attached to it and kept  it  a  matter  of special  concern (d’Emilio 25)”

“They were fighting two wars: one for America, democracy, and freedom; the other for their own survival as homosexuals within the military organization. (Eaklor 68)”

Once they were in, they fell under Article 125 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice: “Any person subject to this chapter who engages in unnatural carnal copulation with another person of the same or opposite sex or with an animal is guilty of sodomy. Penetration, however slight, is sufficient to complete the offense.”

Penalties could include five years hard labour, forced institutionalization or fall under the dreaded Section 8 discharge, a stamp of mental instability that would prevent you from finding meaningful employment in civilian life.

Even if one wanted nothing to do with fulfilling their desires it was still essential to become hyper aware of your presentation and behaviour in order to avoid suspicion.

Coming Home to Gay Ghettos

“The veterans of World War II were the first generation of gay men and women to experience such rapid, dramatic, and widespread changes in their lives as homosexuals. Bronski 154”

After the war many queer servicemen went on to live conventionally heterosexual lives. But many more returned to a much queerer life stateside.

Bob Ruffing would settle down in San Francisco. The city has always been a safe harbour for queer Americans, made more so as ex servicemen gravitated to its liberated atmosphere. The port cities of New York, San Francisco and Los Angeles became the prime destinations to settle. Vining’s partner joined him in New York, where they both immersed themselves in the gay culture.

Other soldiers moved to specific neighborhoods known for having small gay communities. San Francisco’s North Beach, the west side of Boston’s Beacon Hill, or New York’s Greenwich Village. Following the war the gay populations of these cities increased dramatically.

The cities offered parks, coffee houses and bars which became queer spaces. And drag performance, music and comedy became features of this culture.

These veterans also founded organizations just for the queer soldiers. In Los Angeles the Knights of the Clock provided a space for same sex inter racial couples. In New York the Veterans Benevolent Association would often see 400-500 homosexuals appear at its events.

A number of books bluntly explored homosexuality following the war, such as The Invisible Glass which tells the story of an inter racial couple in Italy, 

“With a slight moan Chick rolled onto his left side, toward the Lieutenant. His finger sought those of the officer’s as they entwined their legs. Their faces met. The breaths, smelling sweet from wine, came in heavy drawn sighs. La Cava grasped the soldier by his waist and drew him tightly to his body. His mouth pressed down until he felt Chick’s lips part. For a moment they lay quietly, holding one another with strained arms.”

Others like Gore Vidal’s The City and the Pillar (1948), Fritz Peters’s The World Next Door (1949), and James Barr’s Quatrefoil (1950) explored similar themes.

In 1948 the Kinsey Report would create a public firestorm by arguing that homosexuality is shockingly common. In 1950 The Mattachine Society, a secretive group of homosexual Stalinists launched America’s LGBT movement.

References:

Michael Bronski “A Queer History of the United States”

John D’emilio “Coming Out Under Fire”

Vivki L Eaklor “Queer America: A GLBT History of America”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Lesbians

In 1947 General Eisenhower told a purple heart winning Sargeant Johhnie Phelps, “It's come to my attention that there are lesbians in the WACs, we need to ferret them out”.

Phelps replied, “"If the General pleases, sir, I'll be happy to do that, but the first name on the list will be mine."

Eisenhower’s secretary added “"If the General pleases, sir, my name will be first and hers will be second."

Join me again May 17 to hear the story of America’s Lesbians during the war.

[anticatradoraofficial]

Anti-Catra/Catradora

This series has always felt like the Catra Show, and so much so that even Hordak never felt like the main villain. And nothing drove that point home more than season five proving once and for all that this series moral line(or lack there of) is REALLY about a Villain Protagonist when the character that increasingly became a MONSTER for FOUR SEASONS still got everything she wanted in the end.

Catra is the poster child for the moral bankruptcy of this series.

I can’t buy her “redemption,” or her relationship with Adora, because she WENT TO FAR.

Therefore nor can I buy the HYPOCRITICAL mental gymnastics that arise when she is a topic of discussion in the fandom.

For four seasons I watched this character WILLINGLY and GLEEFULLY jump rope with the moral event horizon. Then she finally broke it to the pieces when she genocides the planet, and everyone on it, because of her sick,evil obsession with being better than Adora.

Loved all this time my behind.

Catra was a vile person from her introduction, and just got increasingly more poisonous as the show went on.

The story seems to want us to treat Catra like a bad friend that said a few mean words here and there, and therefore all she has to do is sincerely apologize then friendship can begin again.

Here’s the thing Catra wasn’t just a bad friend, but also an ABUSER and a FASCIST.

She had multiple opportunities to leave the horde, had no reason to stay in the first place, gleefully attacks the resistance, is pretty much the direct reason Angela died, tried straight up multiple times to end Adora’s and her friends lives, and was just an abomination to even the ones on her side etc..

On the flip side we have Adora who doesn’t give a damn about Catra for four seasons. She’s too busy enjoying life with her REAL  friends. Try and recall, was there ever a moment where Adora was…concerned for Catra’s safety? Pining for her in any way romantically? Ever? Even once during the first four? Because I don’t. Honestly Catra wasn’t important to Adora until Catra showed up on screen. And then they both wanted to kill each other. Any moments of Adora thinking about Catra it was in the context of Catra being her ENEMY.

But I’m supposed to believe in their romance based on what?

Catra’s toxicity? Adora’s nonexistent romantic feelings for pretty much the entire series?

In season 5 all Catra had to do was one act of atonement and out of nowhere, like Adora has been possessed by the ghost of Queer Rep, she suddenly can’t get Catra out of her head. Also note Catra didn’t save Glimmer because she realized her past actions were evil, no it was all for Adora’s sake; the person she is toxically obsessed with.

Back to Catra, her redemption is handled with the most condescending of kid gloves.She seems like she was replaced by a clone for season five. She’s just accepted. It’s like seasons 1-4 didn’t happen.

The forgiveness was excessive, and therefore forced, so we could be okay with this ABUSER/WAR CRIMINAL being chummy and romantic with her victims.

For example Glimmer cries over her, kisses her cheek etc… Yet Catra is responsible for her mothers death, the world ending once before, trying to kill her, war crimes against Bright Moon etc.

Then Entrapta also forgives Catra like it’s nothing even though she sent HER TO DIE, and apparently she was in this hell space for a YEAR.

Same with Scorpia who forgives Catra’s toxicity in five seconds.

But everything is suppose to be wonderful because an abuser ends the series romantically involved with her victim?

When Adora said you made your choice now live with it THAT should have been the end of any reconciliation either platonic of romantic.

Even her flashbacks are her being abusive. You see her in one of them( in her so called redemption season at that) SCRATCHING Adora’s FACE to the point it left BLOOD,and JUMPING ON HER STOMACH just because Adora DARED to be friends with other people.

This was pretty much every childhood flashback they showed. She would emotionally and physically abuse Adora, and then Adora would take her back. This would continue even as near adults. It was a PATTERN(red flag) that Adora unfortunately didn’t escape. 

But…..I always loved you,says Catra.

For ADORA’S own mental health/closure she could forgive,but only if she also makes it clear that she doesn’t want her abuser/war criminal ex friend back in her life.

I could have tolerated that ending instead of Adora becoming a COUPLE with her ABUSER.

Basically this villain sue ends the show getting everything she wants even after evil manipulation of several characters, genocide, war crimes against her own people, physical and mental abuse(especially toward Adora), repeated attempts at murder toward again especially Adora( bares repeating loved all this time my behind) as well as anyone else within spitting distance of her toxicity.

She gets to be pretty much a abusive scum bucket for four seasons, on top of ACTUALLY DOING THE SAME THING PRIME WANTED TO DO, yet whiplash forgiveness and Lesbians 4 Evah is her ending.

“So we’re all just okay with this?”, says Mermista incredulously of the war criminal Hordak. Good question,but then I remember you all seem to be okay with war criminal Catra who is pretty much Hordak’s parallel soo ….

Her mirror Hordak, according to the showrunner, is sentenced to beast island for his war crimes. However, my question then becomes where is Catra’s sentence?

Oh, that’s right if you’re Catra you get to be a war criminal in peace.

It’s also convenient that Mermista’s was chipped,and therefore didn’t get to say anything to the girl who helped bring down her kingdom with a smile on her face.

Funny how that worked out.

It’s even more convenient that her victims gave their lighting fast forgiveness.

Can’t have icky things like abuse and war crimes get in the way of that ending smooch you know.

I suppose we also just need to look at Angella as collateral damage while we smile at her daughter hug and kiss her killer I guess.

I also find it odd(since were loving abusers and war criminals) that Shadow Weaver point blank doesn’t get forgiveness from Adora, and she even ends the series dead. However, she defected to the good side in season two(regardless of any impure motivation), and stayed there and helped the protagonists until her season five death. But Catra who not only stayed with the conquering organization the Horde for almost the entire series,and even became their LEADER, was not only forgiven but also given a romance with her victim. Curious.

I’m tired of this abominable trope invading every piece of media.

An antagonist crosses the moral event horizon, and some even break it to pieces, but somehow the story gets selective amnesia and thus they are free to join the protagonists with their numerous sick crimes ignored or a sob story is bsed into a justification onto why we should ignore physical and emotional abuse and/or the numerous bodies piled up.

When you don’t have a moral LINE in your narrative then that means you have already made a mockery out of morality and numerous victims.

The only way I can stomach her season five ‘redemption’, and lighting quick forgiveness, is if I forget the monster of four seasons didn’t exist. Problem is I can’t do that.

Why should I get any catharsis that the protagonists prevailed over Horde Prime when you have two characters in  particular(Hordak,Catra) that are pretty much him with a sob story attached. If THEY get to kumbaya with the hero’s then Prime should to because that’s honestly where the morals are at in this story.

I had to stop watching two shows(Vampire Diaries and Once Upon a Time) because I got tired of this sick trope. There were SEASONS worth of whitewashing and selective amnesia for two sick and evil characters(Damien Savatore and Regina), to the point their VICTIMS became their BIGGEST CHEERLEADERS and LOVE INTERESTS.

There is no justice when this vile trope is in play.

The moral event horizon exists for a reason. It means once a character has jumped over it then there should be no moral way they can come back from it.

Humanizing them is a good narrative choice,but that humanization doesn’t and SHOULDN’T erase their heinous crimes.

Thus the only true ending that moral event horizon characters should get are redemption equals death or thanks for growing a conscious and helping us out, but you’re STILL going to prison for life afterwards kay. They don’t get to kumbaya with their victims while the other one’s, THE DEAD BODIES, stay cold.

But you know if I HAD to I COULD have TOLERATED Catra and Hordak going on an atonement journey so they could help the people still living that they made homeless/ lives they ruined. Also they can do this while they both get the therapy they badly need.

I needed CONSEQUENCES that STUCK.

Instead Catra (ADORA’S ABUSER) gets to make out with Adora(HER VICTIM), and also become her girlfriend as well as best friends of her other victims.

So it seems this show’s message is no matter how much emotional and physical pain a person does to you it’s okay to not only let them back in your life(damn your mental health I guess),but also enter a romantic relationship with them to.

Yes, that’s what children need to see.

I did my research on the show runner, and the creators pet/villain sue bias became clearer when I did so. Catra is HER pretty much, and Adora is her wife.

That explains EVERYTHING, and not in a good way.

What the show’s title should actually be called: She-Ra: The Show Where The Villain Sue Antagonist,War Criminal Abuser, Gets a Happily Ever After With Her Victim; Whom She Emotionally and Physically Abused for Four Seasons. Another alternate: She-Ra: The Story of Lesbian Reylo.

Thank you for sharing this submission with us.

[fantasyraindrps]

Anti Catra/Catradora

This series has always felt like the Catra Show, and so much so that even Hordak never felt like the main villain. And nothing drove that point home more than season five proving once and for all that this series moral line(or lack there of) is REALLY about a Villain Protagonist when the character that increasingly became a MONSTER for FOUR SEASONS still got everything she wanted in the end.    

Catra is the poster child for the moral bankruptcy of this series.  

I can't buy her ''redemption,'' or her relationship with Adora, because she WENT TO FAR.  

Therefore nor can I buy the HYPOCRITICAL mental gymnastics that arise when she is a topic of discussion in the fandom.  

For four seasons I watched this character WILLINGLY and GLEEFULLY jump rope with the moral event horizon. She eventually finally broke it to the pieces when she deliberately GENOCIDES everyone on the PLANET, because of her sick,evil obsession with being better than Adora.  

Loved all this time my behind.

Catra was a vile person from her introduction, and just got increasingly more poisonous as the show went on.  

Season Five wants us to treat Catra like a bad friend that said a few mean words here and there, and therefore all she has to do is sincerely apologize then friendship can begin again.  

Here's the thing Catra wasn't just a bad friend, but also an ABUSER and a FASCIST.  

She had multiple opportunities to leave the horde,and had no reason to stay in the first place, gleefully attacks the resistance, is the reason Angela died, tried straight up multiple times to end Adora’s and her friends lives, and was just an abomination to even the ones on her side....    

On the flip side we have Adora who doesn’t give a damn about Catra for four seasons. She’s too busy enjoying life with her REAL friends. Try and recall, was there ever a moment where Adora was...concerned for Catra’s safety? Pining for her in any way romantically? Ever? Even once during the first four? Because I don’t. Honestly Catra wasn’t important to Adora until Catra showed up on screen. And then they both wanted to kill each other. Any moments of Adora thinking about Catra it was in the context of Catra being her ENEMY.

But I'm supposed to believe in their romance based on what? 

Catra's toxicity? Adora's nonexistent romantic feelings for pretty much the entire series?    

In season 5 all Catra had to do was one act of atonement and out of nowhere, like Adora has been possessed by the ghost of Queer Rep, she suddenly can’t get Catra out of her head. Also note Catra didn't save Glimmer because she realized her past actions were evil; no it was all for Adora's sake i.e. the person she is toxically obsessed with.  

Back to Catra, her redemption is handled with the most condescending of kid gloves. It’s like she was replaced by a clone for season five. She’s just accepted. It's like seasons 1-4 didn't happen. The forgiveness was excessive and forced so we could be okay with this ABUSER / WAR CRIMINAL being chummy and romantic with her victims.

For example Glimmer cries over her, hugs her, kisses her cheek etc... Yet Catra is responsible for her MOTHER’S DEATH, the WORLD ENDING once before, trying to KILL her, war crimes against Bright Moon/HER KINGDOM...  

Then Entrapta also forgives Catra like it’s nothing even though she sent HER TO DIE, and apparently she was in this hell space for a YEAR.  

Same with Scorpia who forgives Catra's toxicity in five seconds.  

But everything is suppose to be wonderful because an ABUSER ends the series ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH HER VICTIM?

When Adora said you made your choice now live with it THAT should have been the end of any reconciliation either platonic of romantic.  

Even her flashbacks are her being abusive. You see her in one of them( in her so called redemption season at that) SCRATCHING Adora's FACE to the point it left BLOOD,and JUMPING ON HER STOMACH just because Adora DARED to be friends with other people.

This was pretty much every childhood flashback they showed.

She would emotionally and physically abuse Adora, and then Adora would take her back. 

This would continue even as near adults. It was a PATTERN(red flag) that Adora unfortunately didn't escape.  

But.....I always loved you,says Catra.  

For ADORA'S own mental health/closure she could forgive,but only if she also makes it clear that she doesn't want her abuser/war criminal ex friend back in her life.    

I could have tolerated that ending instead of Adora becoming a COUPLE with her ABUSER.  

Basically this villain sue ends the show getting everything she wants even after evil manipulation of several characters, genocide, war crimes against her own people, repeated attempts at murder,physical and mental abuse(especially toward Adora), and just being a complete psychopath to anyone within spitting distance of her toxicity.

She gets to be pretty much a abusive scum bucket for four seasons, on top of ACTUALLY DOING THE SAME THING PRIME WANTED TO DO, yet whiplash forgiveness and Lesbians 4 Evah is her ending.    

"So we're all just okay with this?", says Mermista incredulously of the war criminal Hordak. 

Good question,but then I remember you all seem to be okay with war criminal Catra who is pretty much Hordak's parallel soo ....  

Her mirror Hordak, according to the showrunner, is sentenced to beast island for his war crimes. However, my question then becomes where is Catra's sentence? Oh, that's right if you're the creator’s pet you get to be a war criminal in peace.    

It's also convenient that Mermista was chipped,and therefore didn't get to say anything to the girl who helped bring down her kingdom with a smile on her face.

Funny how that worked out.  

It's even more convenient that her victims gave their lighting fast forgiveness.  

Can't have icky things like abuse and war crimes get in the way of that ending smooch you know.  

I suppose we also just need to look at Angella as collateral damage while we smile as her daughter hugs and kisses her killer I guess.    

I also find it odd(since were loving abusers and war criminals) that Shadow Weaver point blank doesn't get forgiveness from Adora, and she even ends the series dead. However, she defected to the hero’s side in season two(regardless of any impure motivation), and stayed there and helped the protagonists until her season five death. But Catra, who not only stayed with the conquering organization the Horde for almost the entire series as well as eventually becoming their LEADER, was not only forgiven but also rewarded a romance with her victim. Curious.  

I'm tired of this abominable trope invading every piece of media. An antagonist crosses the moral event horizon, and some even break it to pieces, but somehow the story gets selective amnesia and thus they are free to join the protagonists with their numerous sick crimes ignored or a sob story is bsed into a justification onto why we should ignore physical and emotional abuse and/or the numerous bodies piled up.    

When you don't have a moral LINE in your narrative then that means you have already made a mockery out of morality and numerous victims.  

The only way I can stomach her season five ‘’redemption’’, and lighting quick forgiveness, is if I forget the monster of four seasons didn't exist. 

Problem is I can't do that.  

Why should I get any catharsis that the protagonists prevailed over Horde Prime when you have two characters in particular(Hordak,Catra) that are pretty much him with a sob story attached. If THEY get to kumbaya with the hero's then Prime should to because that's honestly where the morals are at in this story.    

I had to stop watching two shows(Vampire Diaries and Once Upon a Time) because I got tired of this sick trope. There were SEASONS worth of whitewashing and selective amnesia for two sick and evil characters(Damien Savatore and Regina), to the point their VICTIMS became their BIGGEST CHEERLEADERS and LOVE INTERESTS.  

There is no justice when this vile trope is in play.  

The moral event horizon exists for a reason. It means once a character has jumped over it then there should be no moral way they can come back from it. Humanizing them is a good narrative choice,but that humanization doesn't and SHOULDN'T erase their heinous crimes.  

Thus the only true ending that moral event horizon characters should get are redemption equals death or thanks for growing a conscious and helping us out, but you're STILL going to prison for life afterwards kay. They don't get to kumbaya with their victims while the other one's, THE DEAD BODIES, stay cold.  

But you know if I HAD to I COULD have TOLERATED Catra and Hordak going on an atonement journey so they could help the people still living that they made homeless/ lives they ruined. Also they can do this while they both get the therapy they badly need.  

I needed CONSEQUENCES that STUCK.  

Instead Catra (ADORA'S ABUSER) gets to make out with Adora(HER VICTIM), and also become her girlfriend. She also becomes the best friend of her other victims.  

So it seems this show's message is no matter how much emotional and physical pain a person does to you it's okay to not only let them back in your life(damn your mental health I guess),but it’s also fine to enter a romantic relationship with them as well.   

Yes, that's what children need to see.  

It's also hilarious that some of her fans say she's Zuko.

No.

She's what would happen if Azula and Kylo Ren were made into one character.

I did my research on the show runner, and the creators pet/villain sue bias became clearer. 

Catra is HER, and Adora is her wife.   

That explains EVERYTHING, and not in a good way.   

What the show's title should actually be called: 

She-Ra:The Story of a Villain Sue Antagonist,War Criminal Abuser,That Gets a Happily Ever After With Her Victim; Whom She Emotionally and Physically Abused for Four Seasons.    

Another alternate: 

She-Ra: The Story of Lesbian Reylo.

[swedisheek]

hello stinky i would like to know who is your favourite mechanism and why, i expect a 2k word essay on my desk by friday

ah fuck ah shit they’re all so excellent i will instead list my favorite things about all of them in order of my vague memory of when they joined the crew. also i smell good how dare you. also FYI for anyone not informed about the Lore, all the shit i’m gonna reference below is a hundred percent canonical.

-jonny: has an ego three thousand times larger than his short ass, king of hubris and not understanding anything. loves his sister dearly, but draws the line at random orgies, which i respect. drags corpses onto the ship like a cat bringing home a kill and tells carmilla to fix his new friends. eyeliner and belt game slay me. (four belts? FOUR??) sad and totally made up backstory, he just lied to everyone’s face about his daddy issues and they were like “chill, let’s write a song where you play all the parts and burn down a casino.” eats people sometimes, which is a positive trait in my heart.

-nastya: my god, finally a voice of reason- ah never mind. her vibes are impeccable, my mysterious trans lesbian queen is unique and absolutely vibing <3 “fuck the ship-!” “i do :3″ is my favorite line of dialogue in anything ever. machinefucker and very proud of it, to an almost concerning degree. that one picture where she’s resting two of her fingers on her chin and cocking her hip as she looks up at the sky makes me Yell.

-toy soldier: my beloved it/its inanimate enby ts!! i love it bc it just. vibes. it has so much fun singing and playing instruments and just fucking around with its friends. who would’ve thought the war criminal with a stolen voicebox would be the most babey of this group?? SPEAKING OF ITS VOICE HOLY SHIT. TRIAL BY SONG CAUSES HEART PALPITATIONS. adorable little nutcracker with the saddest fucking backstory infinity/10

-tim: so very very done with jonny but we all know they make out in “secret”. hit that fucking high note as loki so well, my god, he put his whole pussy into that! go gayboy relive that trauma! plays out of tune guitar like a champ and has a ten minute long song dedicated to him blowing shit up, what a power move. excellent hair and long sweeping coats, extremely gender of him.

-brian: ohhh sweet boy. but also totally commits atrocities? like he wouldn’t kill an octokitten that was eating marius alive but he’d let a million people die just so he didn’t have to hurt anyone, and that’s just on mje mode- his morals are so fucked, poor man. also hung upside down inside a sun for a century and respects the hell out of trans people and brings people back to life and those are just a few of my favorite things about him. he fully committed to the steampunk look when he got mechanized and i love that so much. also has the potential to be a tumblr sexyman.

-ashes: ASHES!! ashes ashes ashes. first off what a fucking good name that’s like a murderer naming themself Dead People. they’re the hottest, it’s just a fact, sorry everyone but they are just. mmm. carries around gold bars and cigars and gasoline and nothing else which i respect so much. (though where do they put that stuff? their hat??) sings excruciatingly beautifully and snarks at all the idiots they call their friends and practices the three r’s (rage, repression, and radicalness) so i cannot not love them.

-ivy: mystery wife! her whole thing is stories and yet she doesn’t know her own that’s so fucking pog of her. what does an archivist on a spaceship even do dawg it’s not like the other guys care about the cultures they’re annihilating, i’m pretty sure she just sits in her bunk and reads. why did she need her brain replaced? why does she have such crazy memory problems? how does her new brain calculate all these percentages? we don’t know! she’s very cute and wears fishnets and has a mohawk-ponytail which i adore. play me to sleep on ur flute please miss

-raphaella: twenty points right off the bat for having wings and wearing a knit crop top. what is she going for with her look, we don’t know, but she could do horrific experiments on me and i’d thank her, so it’s working, clearly. alternatively tortures and tops the shit out of marius, i will die on this hill. also a terrifyingly good singer, those little “the void siIings” in losing track make my breathing stop and the entirety of ties that bind is so fucking amazing i. hhhh

-marius: christ i love you mr neither a baron nor a doctor. the other guys are dumb but he’s the himbo of the group just for being That Way. also most of his characters’ (who are also himbos) lines are something along the lines of what the fuck or i don’t understand so i’m gonna punch you. he’s adorable and has such bastard vibes, even his outfit is ridiculous and cute. even though lyf was a cop he deserved to get a happy ending with them ok?? i just love him and his liddol raccoon face and he deserves a slow burn criminal/detective to crew mates to lovers.

OK JEEZ THATS A LOT. ARE YOU HAPPY ALEX. IM NOT GONNA DO AURORA OR CARMILLA BC CARMILLA LEFT AND AURORA NEVER TALKS TO ANYONE BUT NASTYA SO THERES NOT MUCH INFO ON HER PERSONALITY. WOO BOY.

[discotreque]

Disco 3.12: “There Is a Tide…”

Shoutout to whoever at CBS first realized “the Die Hard episode” was going to drop the week after Christmas, and that it would be impossible to shift up the already-rescheduled five-month slate of LwD S1 + Disco S3 to make it happen otherwise. So close…

“We are ready to ‘die for the hive,’ Captain.”

Everything was obviously going to work out. Pretty much the whole cast has been posting on social media about filming Season 4, so I knew all my faves were safe—and compared to the previous iteration of the show, S3 has been relatively gentle in the “atrocities” department, so I was never as suffused with dread as I regularly got in Seasons 1 and 2.

But this was still intense. Directed by Frakes, who predictably both blows the doors off the action scenes and gets the performers on their absolute S-game, and I especially loved the pace of the back-and-forth between the deteriorating situation on Discovery and the “negotiations” between Admiral Vance, genuinely trying to operate in good faith, and Ossyra, who’s almost literally holding a gun to his head.

A lot of people were worried Vance was going to turn out to be evil, but I was more worried he was going to end up making a heroic sacrifice for and/or inspired by the Disco crew—and he sort of does, but it’s not his life he sacrifices: it’s peace with the Emerald Chain. If the only path to “survival” is as the fraudulently legitimizing façade of benevolence over a corrupt, capitalistic criminal empire, well… that’s the destruction of everything the Federation has ever stood for anyway.

Which is, by my count, Star Trek: Discovery’s third consecutive season-ending reminder that our principles and ideals, our better natures, must inform every decision we make—every single one, in war and in peace—because a victory that costs you the ability to look at yourself in the mirror isn’t going to feel like a victory at all.

That’s not a theme that hits me the same way the interpersonal themes this season have, but it’s a valid—and extremely relevant and timely—point.

***

This show very much needs more ladies kissin’ on each other, but even I, the Biggest Lesbian, have to admit that Burnham and Book are just *chef’s kiss*.

Like, I’m not opposed to M/F pairings: give me a powerful and competent woman who prioritizes herself and her own goals + a man who provides her with emotional and logistical support and also has perfect “step aside and let her kick ass” timing, and I am fully on board: Dr. Crusher and Captain Picard; Scully and Mulder; Elisa Maza and Goliath; Lyra and Will; Parker and Hardison—if there are any Garth Nix fans in the house, Sabriel and Touchstone? All-time classic OTP, get out of here.

And god DAMN. I’ll have more to say about this later, but while Season 3 of Disco didn’t give me everything I wanted, almost every step it took was in the direction of the show I’ve always wished it could be—and one of the biggest elements was “enough emotional support for Michael Burnham that I don’t lie awake at night worrying about her going through everything she goes through alone.”

Also, idk, I was falling in love while watching them fall in love—that always makes a fictional couple hit different, you know? <3

***

I have some bad news for Ossyra (and it’s not even about how non-fatal shoving someone into a wall of programmable matter is): replicators “recycling” waste material was established in the TNG Technical Manual, and has been grossing me out since Grade 6:

In order to minimize replicator power requirements, raw stock for food replicators is stored in the form of a sterilized organic particulate suspension that has been formulated to statistically require the least quantum manipulation to replicate most finished foodstuffs….

[For a ship the size of the Enterprise-D,] the cost of maintaining a large volume of perishable supplies becomes prohibitive, especially when the cost of food preparation is included. Here, the energy cost of molecular synthesis is justified, especially when one considers the dramatic mass savings involved with extensive recycling of organic material…

Although the raw food stock is normally replaced at starbase resupply, osmotic and electrolytic fractioning of wastewater allows up to 82% of food stock to be reclaimed and reused…

That said, I have some even worse news about what all is involved in growing apples the traditional way: Where do you think dirt comes from? What do you think fertilizes it? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

***

The guest stars in this episode were pretty much all great—I loved that scary lady who takes Burnham’s boots out the airlock with her!—but a few standouts worth noting:

First, RSVP Ryn! The poor guy was obviously doomed from his first appearance, so it’s kind of impressive he lasted as long as he did, but still, that one hurt. And I’m going to miss Ryn even more after hearing Noah Averbach-Katz on a bunch of podcasts: he sounds like a sweetheart, and he’s a lifelong Star Trek nerd—from the number of time he mentions Jeffrey Combs, you know he’s one of us 💙

Next, speaking of guest stars who aren’t technically new to the Disco set, I cannot tell you how much it warmed my heart when I finally recognized Kenneth Mitchell’s exceptionally kind face out of Klingon makeup. From the way he’s hanging around on the bridge at the end of the next episode, long after Aurellio has any apparent reason to still be on Discovery at all, I’m hoping he’s going to roll that cool standup mobility apparatus—I almost said “wheelchair” but I’m not sure it can be a “chair” if it’s literally designed so you don’t sit—whatever it is, may it convey him back to our screens in Season 4!

Finally: who the fuck is “Lieutenant Ina” and what the fuck did she do to Nilsson?

***

Next week, which was actually three weeks ago, and let’s be real, actually whenever I get around to it: Discovery finishes rebooting just in time to save the day... and Discovery finishes rebooting just in time to end the season.

[mewtonian-physics]

hi i saw ur sherlock post and wanted to hear why you wouldnt be looking forward to that, if ur okay with answering :) i was wondering bc its a show i really enjoyed so i prolly missed the issues it has :0

ok im going to be totally honest. i LOVED sherlock when i first started it. sherlock holmes has been a huge favorite of mine for a very very long time and sherlock did so much for me. i must’ve been what, 13 or 14 when i first watched it? and i loved it. now, though... i have some Thoughts.

this is going to get really long because i have a lot to say about this show. it’s also going to be full of spoilers.

‘a study in pink’ had me absolutely enthralled. i’m not kidding, i was so excited throughout the whole episode and i will admit i actually ‘squee’d. i really liked the switch from the original story with regards to the victim’s message; in case anyone reading this hasn’t read the original a study in scarlet, in that, the message the victim leaves is also ‘rache’, and people assume it’s meant to be ‘rachel’, before holmes says that it’s german for revenge (don’t ask me if that’s true. i don’t speak german.) but in ‘a study in pink’, they swap it, so that someone originally thinks it’s meant to mean revenge, but holmes says no, it’s meant to be rachel. i LOVED it! it felt really clever and fun. i also really enjoyed how they rendered the text messages and deductions on screen. i still love that. it’s a cool effect. (but i’m going to be honest with you: that ‘deduction’ about john’s phone was stupid. i fumble with my phone charger a lot because i don’t always have the best motor skills. there are so many reasons why someone could have scratched up their phone like that, and sherlock was honestly just guessing. it wasn’t nearly as clever as it was supposed to look. it was lifted from an actual deduction from the original stories, but that wasn’t all that impressive of a deduction either.)

i also liked that they made a nod to and resolved a weird continuity error in the original stories, where the location of watson’s war wound (ha. alliteration) kept switching from his shoulder to his leg. sir arthur conan doyle was not always the best at keeping track of things, haha. but he actually didn’t even like sherlock holmes, so he may just have been a lot more lax about it. 

i really enjoyed all the little references to the original stories; you can tell the show was written by sherlock holmes fans. that made it really fun for me.

i don’t have a whole lot to say about ‘the blind banker’ because i thought it was a pretty boring episode and also it was really fucking racist. ‘yellow peril’, much? i can’t really go into a lot of details because i watched it like. once. (also i was very displeased that soo lin yao got killed by her brother. but that’s a me problem.)

but the season finale! oh my god! the season finale. i do have a complaint with the plot that i’ll mention later (because it’s more of a criticism of the overall show.) also not a huge fan of the homophobic tones taken towards ‘jim, from it’. but the episode itself was so fun. i had such a great time watching and the ending had me absolutely on the edge of my seat. i was desperate to watch the next season right then. 

on to ‘a scandal in belgravia’. if you haven’t seen this episode then skip this section. also, it’s gonna get into some (not graphic) nsfw discussion, just because of what the episode is about, so if you don’t want to read that then skip that too. i watched it once. and it took me a couple years to even do that, because i was young when i started watching sherlock and let me tell you my parents did NOT want me watching that episode then. (frankly, i didn’t want me watching that episode then, either.) when i did watch it, i promptly forgot a lot of it, because i hated it. irene adler in the original stories was super cool; she was smart and capable and outwitted sherlock holmes himself, to the point that she got the title of ‘the woman’ (which. bit sexist. but this was the 1800s so i’m not too shocked.) unfortunately, irene adler from sherlock was... uhhhhh... look, i don’t give a damn about her job but i do give a damn about how she was written. she wasn’t portrayed as the same awesome woman from the original a scandal in bohemia. she was portrayed as... beating sherlock holmes... through the power of being sexy????? i mean, what the hell. what the actual hell was happening there. some people might think that kind of writing is feminist, but i really don’t. also, it wasn’t even fully her plan. it was moriarty’s. (once again, we are reducing the really smart and capable woman and making her dependent on a man.) ALSO, she was in love with sherlock(despite saying she was a lesbian??? if she’s bi then say she’s bi, for fuck’s sake, lesbian erasure isn’t cool), and that was her downfall? excuse me? that episode sucked so much and i was quite frankly miserable. the ending was stupid too. in the original story she got away scot free, having outwitted the great detective himself. in sherlock... she didn’t really win at all, and became a damsel in distress. thanks, moffatt and gatiss. very cool of you.

‘the hounds of baskerville’, though! oh that one was SO entertaining. i will say that the ending where sherlock intentionally tried to drug john was really fucked up. but the rest of the episode absolutely thrilled me. when john actually said ‘aspergers?’ in relation to sherlock i felt like i might die on the spot from pure joy, and for a while i had the exact timestamp at which he said it memorized because it made me so damn happy. (this was back before i realized some of the problems with that terminology.) and the episode itself... i LOVE horror and it creeped me out so much. 

and of course. ‘the reichenbach fall’. ohhhhhh my god. just thinking about it... i cried so much in that episode. even though i knew he would be totally fine because hey, i read the original stories, sherlock holmes doesn’t actually die, i don’t give a fuck, i still cried. i don’t have a lot to say about this episode because it just had me losing it the whole time. it was a total shift from the original story but i didn’t even care. it was just. oh my god.

but then things started going downhill.

season three was fine. not the best, but fine.

‘the empty hearse’ was kind of weird. it was interesting how they really showcased sherlock’s selfishness by how he just waltzed right back into john’s life (while he was planning to propose!) and expected things to be fine. it was not, however, interesting nor fun, how he made john think they were both going to die in order to manipulate john into admitting that he missed sherlock. i like mary, though. she’s cool.

full honestly: i loved ‘the sign of three’. that best man speech. it was weird, and rambling, and really, really sweet. totally thought sherlock was just being an asshole again, and then it ended with a genuine, heartfelt expression of how much john has changed him for the better. the ending made me sad though.

aaaaaaaaand then we got ‘his last vow.’ uhhhhh. uhhhhhhhhh. i don’t have a lot to say about this one. i don’t like it. i don’t like how sherlock manipulated janine (hello, fucked up territory). i don’t like what they did with mary’s character. and i don’t like how they took charles augustus magnussen (milverton, in the original) and made sherlock kill him instead of the cool ending of the original, where one of his blackmail victims took revenge. 

i can’t properly review the abominable bride here. that would need its own post.

unfortunately it was all very much downhill from here.

‘the six thatchers’. john has an affair? john watson? has an affair? we go back to the problems i had with mary’s character, and then she dies? she sacrifices herself for sherlock? right after she has a baby? she just fucking dies? this episode was horrible. 

i don’t have a whole lot of thoughts on ‘the lying detective’ except that i think ‘the dying detective’ was better. also, this is where things really went to hell in a handbasket.

eurus. oh my god, eurus. look. i am a little sick of ‘secret holmes sibling’ plotlines. ‘how many have you seen?’ two, and that’s two too many. (it might be different if they handed over some sibling rights to go with it, but they never do.)

also, the whole plot was just ridiculous. i can’t even begin to explain how ridiculous it was. total genius smarter than even sherlock and mycroft, SO SMART that she can program people to do whatever she wants just by talking to them for a few minutes, killed sherlock’s best friend and traumatized him so much that he had to get his memories erased? RIDICULOUS. the ‘saw’ style games? all organized by eurus and, you guessed it, moriarty? for fuck’s sake. IT’S ABSURD. and in the end, it was all a cry for help? cool motive, still MULTIPLE MURDERS. also molly getting forced to say she loves sherlock was just so incredibly fucked up. these are only surface level complaints based on what i remember of the episode (which i have seen only one time because i only watched this season one time.) if i watched it again i’m sure i could come up with more, but i don’t really want to watch it again, because i think it might kill me instantly.

now for some more overarching criticisms:

from a purely plot based perspective, i’m not a fan of how moriarty was behind so much. he really wasn’t that involved in the original stories; the guy played a role in two stories and showed up a grand total of once and then died. that was it. he was there so conan doyle could finally kill off sherlock holmes (though we all know how well THAT went. did you know people actually went into mourning for holmes? and conan doyle got accosted in the street about it. i’m not even kidding. people were so upset. and, i mean, so was i.) yes, he was a criminal mastermind (the napoleon of crime!) but he wasn’t behind basically every single case. it’s not the worst change ever, but it is a little bit weird to be giving sherlock an archenemy. but sherlock is far from the first adaptation to do that. (if i wrote it, it’d be less archenemy and more ‘sherlock holmes is being really annoying again, guess i have to do something about it.’ which honestly felt like what was happening in the original stories.)

from a more socially conscious perspective: the sexism in that show is so ridiculous. most of the female characters are written horribly (molly deserved so much better. so. much. better.) and often damsel in distress types. when they aren’t, well, see my discussion of ‘a scandal in belgravia’. i can’t think of a single female character in sherlock whose story doesn’t essentially revolve around the men in her life.

furthermore, the constant jokes about john and sherlock TOTALLY NOT BEING GAY is. i will be honest with you; i do not give a damn about j*hnlock. i don’t ship it at all. but those jokes were so damn uncomfortable. homophobia much. 

also: the racism. particularly egregious in ‘the blind banker’ but it was scattered throughout the rest of the show too. (can we talk about how sally donovan was treated? because the intersection of racism and misogyny was... deeply, deeply unpleasant.)

oh and the whole ‘high functioning sociopath’ thing was... can we not be weird about this for five minutes. can we. i’m begging. i do not like a character that i’ve related to for years (one of the reasons i’ve been so into sherlock holmes for so long was bc he was one of the first characters i really related to and made me feel a lot better about my autism diagnosis) being treated like this.

i am not going to pretend that the original sherlock holmes stories weren’t horribly racist, misogynistic, and so much more. they were. they were written in the 1800s, though. i will say that that is absolutely not an excuse and they could have and should have been better, but that goes so much more for sherlock, because, i mean. come on. this is the 21st century. there’s less than negative excuse for this kind of bullshit. moffatt in particular has received a lot of criticism for both sherlock and doctor who, particularly regarding the misogyny that often shows up in his writing, and it seems he learned absolutely nothing.

as i said, i have a lot of thoughts on sherlock. but given some of the overarching problems with the series as a whole, as well as the sharp downturn the quality of the writing took in the second half (particularly season four), i really do not want another season. i am frankly terrified of what kind of absurdity might be produced. 

so yeah. that’s my thoughts on Why I Do Not Want Sherlock Season Five.