#she helped us a lot but I doubt she was payed well bc this position is always taken by students and only them

[lafcadiosadventures]

Madame Putiphar Groupread. Book Two, Chapter XXXIV

Francesco Hayez. Two versions of La Meditazione, 1851

(ALSO pls check out this 1877 edition of Mme P, including an illus of Deborah smashing the pornography!! couldn't post that bc of ownership, but I would have!!)

(reading mates: @counterwiddershins + @sainteverge )

Asorted thoughts on this very extense and well written chapter:

(this is a very long post you guys. it happens)

-Deborah should know by now not to visit her regular places

-on a symbolic plane, Catholic rites endanger her, literally put her in a vulnerable physical position (we have seen how catholicism can be a crutch for Patrick, pushing him to pasivity)(Deborah is always more active, but this time she is literally led by her faith to a place her captors know she frequents, and she herself is lying flat against the ground, which gives her captors physical dominace over her)

-Once again, the intelligence of the character is not entirely consistent, the scene tho, is very effective and evocative (deborah has watered the stones of the church floor with her tears. Her captors don't respect anything, it's the whole idea of profanation, not only of a temple but of a sacred moment)

-they blindfold her, cover her with one of her capes and shove her into a carriage. Reminds me a lot of accounts of people who were illegally detained, it all rings true. Once agin this is the (monarchic) state employing tactics of criminals.

-Deborah never gives up mentally, refuses to walk and has to be pushed, uses her eloquence to persuade the guards to let her live for the sake of her child (a smart rhetoric tactic, since her captors don't care about her, maybe they will doubt helping kill her if they know she is pregnant)

-Borel's narrator acts as if we don't know what we learnt last chapter (she is not going to be killed, she is sent to the king's brothel) giving the reader the upper hand over Debbie.

-However we don't know if her persuasivve speech has worked, we are as blind as her. She shakes and cries out in disgust as she recieves a succession of kisses on her cheeks and mouth. The person who just did that is a woman, who tells her she is safe and surrounded by people who love her. We guess this is the Madame. Her current tactic after kissing her against her will is being verbally soft and respectful, minding protocol and her title.

-Deborah is still blindfolded, not allowed to learn the structure of the place she is imprisioned in, yet the narrator shows us she is paying attention to what she can percieve as she follows the madame through the building (stairs, counting the sounds of locks, etc)

-Once inside her well furnished bedchamber-cum-cell, her blindfold is removed. Her two servants are incredibly ugly old men, very polite as well, dressed in Green, a color that has been highlighted in the narrative in relation to the clothes of Villepastour and the Knight of Youth. Beauty, mundanity and sexuality connects Villepastour and the perhaps more positive (and less pusilanimous) but also deadly Knight, so it's valid to connect the servants with them. They all serve the same credo. (it would be clever, even if nothing points to this, if in a Der Blaue Engel twist, the servants were past Villepastours, former discarded lovers of Pompadour, reduced to serfdom and watchdog status)

-A feast is brought to her room (the idea is to make her lower her guard) she is famished and parched but doesn't touch even a glass of water (the theme of the pure heroine resisting worldy temptations, seen in many fairytales) She suspects the food is poisoned but I imagine also a kind of repugnance from anything that came from her captors, accepting the food is in a way, playing by their rules. A dueña (duègne in french, a chaperone) undresses her and introduces her into her bed. (We are now in a bifurcation, Deborah enters one of the types of prisons for women -> the royal Brothel, we will perhaps see a prison for men, if Patrick has survived his illegal arrestation)

-Deborah tries to guess where she is, relying on what she heard and smelt on the carriage, and what she has seen and how she was treated in the mansion. (this once again, reads absolutely verosimile if one compares it with accounts of people who have been kidnapped or illegally imprisoned, Borel is well documented and it shows. Once again, it is interesting that he chooses to give us this insight with Deborah and not with Patrick. Borel wants us to stay with Deborah and like her, believe that Patrick is dead and she is all alone)

-She concludes she has been kidnapped and taken to one of Villepastour's retirement houses (nobles used to have smallish mansions to keep mistresses/sexual servants, sometimes literally trapped with no chance to leave... not really different from forced sexual labor) Her guess is as we know, partially wrong but very close to the truth. and if Villepastour hadn't spoken would Pompadour had remembered to take revenge on her?

-{i think it's fair to say that the king in this novel is like the king in chess. He is not at all the most powerful piece in the board. He does evil and has no qualms about it -as we will see- but everything has to be arranged for him, he must be served in all orders. He doesn't even know who Deborah is, so people around him can definitely use him for their petty revenges. It's not that he's a dupe (even if Pompadour is the mastermind of the novel) it's just that he is lazy, even the hard work behind his "fun" must be arranged by others}

-Deborah regrets not having stolen a knife from the table. She is far from defeated mentally, she'd rather die fighting.

-She avoids sleeping to be alert, opens the window. The fresh air revives her (nature comes to her aid against the evils of men) she sticks her head against the door to try and hear anything to avoid being surprised, but also, to learn anything that might be informative.

-once again the dueñas enter her room and manipulate her body while she still sleeps, putting her some pretty slippers on. She is now a doll, with little to no bodily autonomy. She is taken to a bathroom (the narrator still takes Debbie's pov, she is trying to ammass as much details of the place she is in as she can) She is put inside the bathtub (Borel cleverly uses passive voice to show us how she is being treated, gently but forcefully, and sorpresively. She cannot anticipate her servant/gaoler's movements and they are strong enough to lift her and move her like furniture)

-Enter a woman in a robe who deborah recognizes by the sound of her voice as the woman who has kissed her the night before.

-Enter the portrayal of queer persons -lesbians were a privileged subject- in french Romanticism to this particular book. How does Borel does it, in contrast to his peers? Physically there is nothing ordinary about her, Borel barely spends a line on how she looks like, it's how she acts that interests him. Borel is to be commended for this, there is nothing constitutive, physically essentialist about her queerness. What's important is that she is a mature woman of “vulgar”figure, with very refined manners. We conclude, probably a working class woman, nothing remarkable in her apereance, who has learnt the refined manners of her bosses. (I would love to compare her with Passereau, the beautiful and hispanic looking little sparrow who is confused with a male prostitute by the men gathering under the gay cruising spot aka the Boar in the Tuilleries, but I need to reread Passereau, all I can think of rn is, although Passereau isn't foreign he -like Borel- is thought to be, and remember how many of Vautrin's boyfriends are italian or corsican, even if vautrin himself is extremely ??? north of france looking with his flaming red hair, it is not unfrequent to “foreignize” homosexuality, even by authors who were queer themselves, like balzac, and very possibly Borel as well)

-I need at this point to bring up the Mother Superior in the Sainte-Eutrope Convent from Diderot's La Réligièuse. She and the Madame have some things in common. The Superior basically does the rounds undressing and bathing and forcing herself -sometimes, she is desired by some- on her novices and nuns. Her physical portrayal is similar to Borel's she is basically unremamrkable looking, of extreme sensitivity, a little fat but there's no Phrenology going on here, from either author. Although the Superior abuses her power she is not a rapist of the violent kind, I think the Mother Superior actually believes Suzanne loves her back, and she is incredibly surprised when Suzanne, right after making her orgasm, cries out for help because she thinks the Superior is sick)(this is fine erotic writing by old Denis, the prologuist of my penguin edition complains Suzanne is too inocent to be believeble, I personally buy it)(this book needs rereading though)

-Borel highlights her mouth (something that Balzac does in Théodore Calvi's -one of his corsican homosexual bandits, and a personal favorite of mine- introduction, and Hugo does with the very likely male prostitute Montparnasse. Borel does a close up shot of her lips, her honeyed mouth, she is savouring every word she says, to make Deborah trust her but also alludes to an excess of sensuality same as Diderot's Mother Superior)

-what follow is a long and interesting dialogue with Deborah and her. Both women are written as intelligent and trascend their stock roles of pure heroine and perverse gay madame.

I'll make use of cam's translation here:

“The interest that is being taken in me is too violent, madame; it is an indiscreet and insulting zeal which I fault and reject. But may I at least know who professes such an exorbitant benevolence towards me? In whose name was I led to this shelter? what is this shelter and what fate is awaiting me here?”

“(...)Answer me, am I here in a state prison?” “Does this residence, mylady, resemble a dungeon? and me, do I look like a gaoler?” “Could I be in a convent?” “Maybe.”

(that maybe...Even if couvent in french doesn't connote brothel like in elizabethan english, Borel invites us to find the similarities between both institutions)

-Deborah is correct in her intuitive association between the royal whorehouse and a prison.

-Borel's narrator illustrates the madame's thought process when Deborah begs for more concrete answers. Characterizing her as a bohemian, (une fine bohême, with an ^ instead of an `) a romani woman (we are perhaps getting exotification of homosexuality as foreign here?) and “fine” she is indeed, she is very sharp and makes the lies she tells appear like confidences the “élèves” have forced her to make. So she invents a story about a suposed benefactor (the Count of Gonesse) who heard about Deborah's enemies and vulnerable position and has taken her so that she can enjoy a confortable and safe life in seclusion, and throw herself freely into “the voluptuosness of pain and melancholy”. Deborah doesn't even believe the Count to exist. If he does, she demands to be told what does he want from her, what are his plans concerning her...(the "why me" moment) The idea behind the Madame's answer is to make Deborah believe her benefactor wants to win her heart and marry her later on, so that she accepts the king's “visits” meekly and with a false sense of hope.

-Deborah ofc doesn't want to marry again (least of all, marry an unknown man who is forcing her into a sense of indebtedness and gratitutde) this setback makes the madame think of starting Deborah's education aka having sex with her, (the king, Borel tells us, is fooled, he only gets the crumbs the Madame leaves for him) She tries to get Deborah naked, but she holds her clothes back. She gets chided for her modesty (only ugly women should be modest, the madame claims, while groping her body and describing it through metaphors, marble like breasts, her silouette, as curvaceous as a vase, something @sainteverge has noticed is a reccurring theme in her descriptions) Borel is in fact very explicit, breaking the boundaries that usually constrain fellow “serious” novelists who avoid explicit sex scenes even when the plot would require them. Borel lets us know the madame was kissing deborah's breasts and was in fact about to give her oral, when Deborah stops her by holding her forehead away from her crotch.

-the madame appologizes but asks Deborah to understand she wants to earn her love, while she laments not being a man, in order to please her. (mentioning this bc wanting to change genders is another favorite theme for the Fr Romantics... homosexuality seems linked in this period to a kind of transexuality)

-Deborah is said to not be able to understand sex between women. Although she finds the Madame's stares sexually charged, can only link them with how Patrick touches her/looks at her, she is still in the dark. Reminiscent of Diderot's Suzanne Simonin whose body the Superior uses to reach orgasm, and she never understands what is happening to the other woman. (it must be said that Borel calls lesbianism a depravation*. Diderot links it to an illness-no comments- he however, thinks he is being sympathetic)

* there are many instances in this book where Borel asumes a moralistic writing style, such as when he describes Pompadour’s sex apron,,,

-An interesting point is that art is what allows Deborah to understand homosexuality. Pornography in a wold where gayness isn't talked about openly is the only point of reference she can have. This is very interesting (consider vautrin, speaking of his sexuality constantly in terms of references from the books he has read, only once porn in his case)

-another interesting detail, re the dynamics of this prison: Deborah has the keys to her own room (cell) so she locks herself in. She proceeds to break everything in it, especially the porn on the walls and shelves of her library (if you haven't watched the Handmaiden (2016) yet, watch The Handmaiden, it's the closest thing to a madame putiphar adaptation we have without it being one) She makes a huge ruckus, throws boooks, porcelain figurines the whole shebang in a cathartic explosion, out of the window. The madame begs to be let in, begs for Deborah not to break anything else. Deborah confronts her, she is in a brothel and she is a madame. The Madame still tries to deny it all, insists with the story of Gonesse, but Debbie still doesn't open her door, so the madame summons brute force (once again as in many moments of this book, people are persuaded first by kindness then by brute force to submit to the hegemony) a soldier is summoned to break the door down, Debbie stands her ground. after calling her a madwoman, a thankless madwooman who pays back with insanity the kind treatment she was given, the men start pounding on the door, they break it down but face a barricade of furniture, Deborah yells she will jump out of the window if they even cross it. The Madame begs the soldiers to stop bc Debbie is in fact capable of keeping her word and the blame would fall on her. The battle is won by Deborah who is sieged inside her room with enough food to last a few days...

[reel-fear]

Saw writing requests open... Little Cyberverse Radio helping Shockwave around the lab..?

Awww! What a cute idea!!! Yess I will gladly write some Father-Daughter bonding between em <3 Great chance to show off Cyberverse Radio some more 2. Note the dialogue might be funky, writing so many characters I haven't written for in forever is hard, who could've guessed. But after watching a lot of clips and episodes, I think I got them decently in character- [also this took so long bc of a family trip, dont worry abt the other writing requestsI am gonna blow through them fairly fast now that the surprises aren't coming so fast. Hopefully. Either way they r still open see #drabblez for more info <3]

The halls of the nemesis were very busy, cons running around trying to get into position for an attack on the autobots, Shockwave as usual would be left in his lab to attend to his work and help anyone who was injured. However, before he could get into position for his job, he had to find a certain bot in the crowd of cons scrambling to prepare for the fight.

Luckily Radio hadn't gotten any less predictable through the thirteen and a half years she had been around, as he looked around the ship he quickly found her trying to blend in with a group of con soldiers. She was doing a rather good job too, that was until Soundwave came over to examine the soldiers and she suddenly shrank in on herself with a nervous smile.

After that, it was all over, despite what Radio seemed to think.

"Dad wait come on please! All I want is to get just the tiniest whiff of battle! That's it! At least let me watch?" Radio pleaded as Soundwave picked her up, honestly she was lucky they caught her every time she attempted such a ridiculous idea. Radio was strong for her age sure there was no denying that, but compared to the other soldiers she was still considerably smaller, weaker and her impulsive nature made it clear to both of her parents she was not ready for battle... Not that either of them really wanted her to see battle at all.

"Forget it kid, you'll be much better off here, in fact if you pay attention to what Shockwave tells you, you might end up learning something." Soundwave purred, amusement clear in his voice as he handed Radio to Shockwave. "Here's your first lesson for the day, don't try to sneak out with a bunch of bots bigger than you. Maybe try to blend in with the smaller soldiers next time."

Radio huffed, the fact Soundwave was poking fun at her was not lost on her as she crossed her arms and narrowed her single optic at him. "I could take those guys... Sides if I tried to sneak out with the seekers Starscream would've caught me even faster than you did!"

Soundwave merely laughed again. "Then maybe you should stop wasting all your energy trying to escape the nemesis and instead look around the nemesis for much better things to occupy yourself with. That is until I get home after kicking autobot aft of course, then you and I are on for some training and if you're good I'll even do some reenactments of my best moves on one of the wimpy seekers, will that keep you outta trouble for now?"

"By all means Soundwave, while I appreciate the help, I am very sure I can keep Radio out of trouble using my own methods. Besides, if you keep feeding into her lust for battle, I doubt this rebellious streak will break anytime soon. Instead of you striking a deal with her every time she does this, I think this time I shall take care of it." Shockwave spoke up, causing both Radio and Soundwave to look at him rather surprised.

"Are you sure? She's a handful, maybe even more of a handful than I am, she makes me proud in that way~" Soundwave purred. "And I don't feed into her battle lust, I just like her being able to defend herself."

"We will discuss that further later. But yes I am sure I can handle her myself, she is not just your sparkling after all, she is mine as well and I think it's about time I step in." Shockwave stated.

Soundwave tilted his helm, seemingly about to add something to the conversation when Starscream entered the room.

"Soundwave, it's time, get your soldiers and get into position, Shockwave be prepared for injured cons, or prisoners depending on how well our battle goes~" She purred before looking to Radio and smiling. "And you little one? Just be good and patient, be a good example okay? You're a born leader after all and everyone follows the leader~" She gave Radio an affectionate nuzzle before her and Soundwave stood up straight, wishing each other good luck on their mission.

Then just like that they were off to fight.

"Now what?" Radio asked, looking over to Shockwave, she half expected for him to just send her off to her room and the other half thought he would force her to clean the nemesis as punishment for her behavior, that was what the seekers did after all...

"Now? You come with me, we have work to do and we cannot waste much time standing around." Shockwave ordered, walking towards his lab. Radio didn't want to admit how suddenly excited she felt at the idea of helping Shockwave in his lab, she just hoped it wasn't the same way she usually helped around the nemesis.

"You're not gonna make me deliver stuff all day are you papa? Like I'm gonna get to help in an actually cool way this time? Cause I hate being the delivery bot, it's boring sitting around and just waiting for orders, and then when someone calls to me they give me an even more boring job to do! How can you make doing something even more boring than doing nothing?!" Radio whined while Shockwave opened the doors to his lab.

"I can promise you right now, what we will be doing will not be boring, I cannot promise it will interest you, but you're not just Soundwave's child, you are also mine and if you are anything like me... Well, then surely it will at least be engaging enough to keep your attention for the day." Shockwave said, a rare tone of excitement in his voice.

Radio was curious but not hooked just yet, she continued to follow Shockwave, a task made somewhat difficult with just how small she was. Shockwave didn't comment on it but it was endearing to him with every step he took Radio would have to quickly take two to stay by his side, he wouldn't slow down though, Radio would've likely complained of being made fun of for her size if he did.

He could also notice her wandering optic, looking at tools, datapads and otherwise with curiosity that made his excitement only grow. Radio came at everything with not only fresh eyes but an excitement to master whatever skills were thrown her way. He still remembers the time Blugeon had been trusted to watch her and by the end of the day Radio was attempting to master sword fighting, despite admitting she would prefer to use her fists.

Shockwave could only hope she would feel similarly about his work.

"Now let me see if I can find something that would be good to assist me in introducing you to my line of work... A beginner class task..." Shockwave spoke, typing on a computer and scrolling by text so fast Radio could hardly read any of it.

Radio simply sat there, looking around the lab and getting excited at the idea of all the things she could do with the gadgets strewn about. Would she get to fire a blaster? Would she learn how to make her own weapons? Or a fighting drone?

"Ah... Here we go, come here Radio, I have a simple task for you." Shockwave purred, gesturing for Radio to take his place in the chair, making sure to stand beside her as she leapt up and viewed the console in front of her.

"Move the claw to your right, up and down, as though it were nodding." He instructed and Radio paused before looking to her dad confused.

"What?"

"Move the claw up and down, it's as simple as that."

Radio narrowed her optic at her father, but did as he asked, standing on the chair and using her hand to move the claw up and down.

"Did I do it?" She asked.

"You did, I saw the mechanical claw move up and down, now do it again." Shockwave said, keeping a firm expression and stance that locked Radio out of even guessing what he was thinking in that moment. Regardless Radio did it again.

"I don't get it, I think I'm doing it wrong." Radio whined, looking to Shockwave for guidance, this wasn't what he did all day, this was boring! How was this even teaching her anything?

"You're not doing it wrong, you completed the task, but moving the claw horizontally is only step one, now you must move the claw high enough to reach that vial, right up there." Shockwave instructed, pointing up to a shelf that was holding a few vials containing various liquids.

"I can't reach up there!"

"Then I will get you a ladder." Shockwave informed her, before turning around and taking a few steps towards the door.

"But that will take forever! Isn't there another way?" Radio protested causing Shockwave to stop his attempts to leave the room.

He then turned around with an expression Radio was quite familiar with, it was the kind of face he would make to her when he was impressed by her observations. But Radio didn't quite understand what she had said to earn such a reaction.

"Excellent, that is the purpose of science and of being a scientist. It is not just about completing a task, it is about doing it as efficiently as possible."

"Wha-huh?"

Shockwave smiled, an honest, amused and proud smile that made Radio relax as he came back to her side. "Any fool can move that claw up and down, and with enough time get it to retrieve what you need, but for a true scientist, efficiency is key, time is precious for us and we cannot afford to waste much of it." Shockwave told her, before pressing a few buttons on the console, causing the claw to grab the vial and hand it to him all within a few seconds. "Do you understand?"

Radio hummed with thought narrowing her optic before reaching over to press the same buttons she had just witnessed her father use, once again Shockwave's optic widened with surprise, but the way he looked at her told Radio he was very happy with her quick learning. Of course the claw didn't bring anything down this time, but that didn't matter to Radio, she now understood what it was about science that got her dad to spend so much time doing it.

"I think I do dad, I really, really think I do." She purred. It was kind of like a race and her competetive nature really liked that.

"Wonderful, now that I have your interest, we can get into the more... 'Fun stuff' I get to do in my lab."

When Soundwave and the others returned from their mission, he was surprised to find that Radio was not merely wandering the nemesis waiting for them. As the cons split up through the various hallways, some going to report on how the mission had went, others going to seek medical attention, Soundwave made his way to Radio's room. Radio was not there either, which was even more surprising, he'd expected her to be taking a nap or practicing moves on a training dummy she'd dragged in there.

Soundwave then realized that Radio most likely fell asleep in the lab, his husband had said he would keep an eye on her after all and Shockwave was very glued to his work, not even a supernova would get him out of his little cave. Besides Soundwave himself could vouch for the fact that despite how much it ticked off Shockwave, the lab did have a few places where if you dedicated enough, you could take a decent nap in.

However as he entered the lab he saw Radio not napping but assisting Shockwave in patching up the wounds of bots in the lab. "Stop squirming, this is Radio's first time with such an intricate operation and if you make it hard on her I will not be pleased." Shockwave said, narrowing his optic at the poor seeker Radio was cleaning the wound of.

"Someone's been very busy huh?" Soundwave purred looking over to Shockwave who nodded to him with a smile.

"I told you I could handle her didn't I? She's found quite an interest in my craft, turns out she really is my daughter." Shockwave purred, the pride obvious in his voice.

"I shouldn't have doubted you." Soundwave admitted before looking to Radio as she finished wielding up the wound she was taking care of. "Looks like you can have fun without seeing battle. Just try not to turn into a big nerd like Shockwave~" He teased, causing Radio to narrow her optic towards him.

"Now I know why daddy says you aren't allowed in the lab." Radio huffed causing both her parents to laugh.

Truly it had been a wonderful day. For Radio and her papa, Soundwave couldn't have been happier to see them so close. Maybe, just maybe, this would distract Radio enough to keep her trouble making low for the next few weeks.

Maybe a month, if they were lucky.

[privacyredux]

45oz water

4:14pm - los angeles

today has been kind of slow tbh. not in a bad way though. i got to catch up a bit more with charlie and eric. i made plans or well, i guess i'll get to that bit later. since i wasn't going to dinner at charlie's i went shopping with them for the shit she'd need. honestly she's who encouraged me to come down in the first place and ive had a really good week plus in los angeles. better than usual actually. it's honestly not my favorite place in general, but i don't really feel like i have any complaints. i got my ass handed to me by ai again, but i guess that's just how shit goes. at least im not alone bc she did too.

the reason i can't go to dinner is bc i have other dinner plans. last night i went to see valeria at work again. it was kind of funny bc i offered to bring her some candy (sour patch watermelons) she was talking about doordashing and she kept insisting that she needed to pay for it and give me the tip she had planned on giving them. which turned into offering to pay for my drinks and me saying id just give her that money and more in tips. i guess she really has strict feelings about owing other people or something. regardless, even though i said i didn't think she owed me anything, we settled on dinner tonight as a compromise. i'm looking forward to it.

but anyway, uh it was fun. i did some karaoke. *nsync at her request and then doing bastille's laura palmer brought us around to talking about twin peaks, which she had never seen. and truly isn't even optimistic about enjoying, bc apparently she hasn't enjoyed much david lynch. she was gonna give it a try though, so even if it's pure complaints it'll be interesting to get her take. i dunno what it is, i do find most of valeria's views interesting, but even in general i just like hearing what people think about shit. like barring some offensive shit, even if i completely disagree and want to debate what they're getting out of it, it still keeps me completely occupied hearing another person's take on it.

yeah so that's how i had dinner plans for today. otherwise, i spoke a bit with blair again about lotr bc i was watching a minimal amount of rings of power just to do it. if i start it, i'll be more likely to continue and feel caught up for the new season. freya has been pretty busy so i haven't talked to her as much as i had the week prior. and im trying to make some direct plans with sabrina so i don't miss her before she's crazy busy. as much as i have a tour starting next weekend it's just for a little bit and hers is a whole ass thing. so hopefully i'll see her at the event and hang out a bit. i plan on coming to see her on tour too, but i know how that goes. it's all chaotic for me and i don't have nearly as much shit going when im on tour. i really doubt i understand the chaos of that level pop tour.

other than what's going on this week, and packing and cleaning up my place a bit, i think i'm ready for tour. ready to be pulled out of everything for a little bit and just immersed in work. especially in japan. i know i'll have a good time and i can kind of just enjoy everything around me and revisit places i love. i don't know there's an awful lot of love that i get out of visiting there. i'm positive it'll make me feel good regardless.

i watched something this week, i forget what, where one of the characters pretended to be an eels fan and it's just had them on the brain. also, i mentioned liking myself less when i was numb and it came together. and it's true. eric is keeping an eye on things too which is nice. probably not necessary, but i probably would've said that even when it was. so i'll accept the help and attention there.

falling apart - slow pulp

why do i cry - margo guryan

novocaine for the soul - eels

[serdtse]

//

[peachhoneii]

Subverting Gender Roles in Arcane! (Starring Caitlyn’s parents!)

Cassandra Kiramman is Caitlyn’s mother and a Piltover councilor. She lives in an extremely exuberant home that reflects her wealth and power in society. She expects a lot from her daughter, and we can correctly assume she’d prefer her daughter to leave an easier, safer life, possibly as Jayce’s wife. (Kinda weird bc he was like 24 to her 14-16 in Act I.)

C’mon, we all laughed when she burst in through the door ready to snipe the fuck outta the intruders, who happened to be her daughter and her girlfriend. 

It didn’t hit me that this scene played on gender expectations. Cassandra and Mr. Kiramman are plays on gender roles. 

Cassandra is...

A councilor. She has the wealthy job, status and power from what we can tell. She is the one with the societal prospects, and it is this that makes her relevant beyond being Caitlyn’s mother.

She did not want her daughter knowing how to use a sniper rifle. Yet, somehow she knows how to. Hypocritical.

Is ready to brawl for her daughter.

But entire scene would’ve usually played out for the father. It would’ve been the father who burst in with a gun, ready to bust some asses. Yet, this is what Mr. Kiramman does when he enters the scene.

His first instinct is to embrace his daughter, who he feared was hurt or worst. He didn’t even pay attention tot Vi. All he wanted was to hold his baby girl; the moment was sweet. But his wife?

Oh, no. “You found a stray.” This bitch here really went there. I like her though. Their reactions to Caitlyn returning are fire and ice, but I don’t doubt she’s relieved to see her daughter is alive and well. 

This scene. It took Reddit for me to realize why I really, really enjoyed this scene. Cassandra has assumed the more traditionally masculine/father role where she has the societal authority in their family, and the background family portrait really solidifies the theory for me.

I might be reaching on the portrait, but we often see the mother sitting in the chair while the father is positioned above the family standing. Now, either position is common in photographs, especially old timey photographs. For me, I interpreted it as Cassandra’s legacy hovering over Caitlyn, you know?

Back to Mr. Kiramman, he’s the one working on Caitlyn’s injuries while she argues with her mother over the rampant oppression of the Undercity, which her mom can help with if she had ever bothered to.

He’s the emotionally supportive parent, a role that often assigned to the mother. If I remember correctly, he also encouraged Caitlyn’s interest in shooting. He supports his daughter even if he doesn’t approve of the danger she’s constantly getting into. 

Look how he smiles at Caitlyn when Cassandra concedes and schedules an appointment for her and Vi to speak their case. He’s a supportive dad. I can’t say he’s a good guy, but he does genuinely love his daughter. That’s what it comes down to, they may suck as people, and they may even suck as parents sometimes. But the love they have for their children is genuine.

Yeah, Arcane slipped this in without me even noticing it. It didn’t really hit me until a rewatch, and I thought it was a cool touch how they did it. So much to love about this show.

Adding this because...

“Mother, really?”

“Damn, I see where she gets it from.”

[kn1feinthec0ffee]

new team - shoyo hinata

shoyo hinata x fem!reader

summary: you teach hinata some skills in middle school and to pay you back, he guarantees you a spot on the karasuno volleyball team.

warnings: NONE VERY FLUFFY

word count: 1,737

notes: i rlly rlly liked writing this bc i love my boy hinata and this just flowed so naturally and i��m rlly proud of it :’)

i also usually write gender neutral reader bc i’m nb and i wanna cater to as many ppl as possible and make them feel valid, but it was kinda necessary to the story for reader to be fem in this one

********************

after setting a ball to your friend, you noticed a short boy by himself in the corner of the gym with bright orange hair, setting and receiving against the wall. you made your way over to him, observing that he actually wasn’t too bad.

“oi, redhead,” you called out playfully. he turned around with a look of confusion on his face, as if to say ‘me?’ “yeah you. i couldn’t help but notice you’re playing all by your lonesome over here. any particular reason for that?”

his cheeks tinged pink at the callout, but he responded nonetheless. “w-well there’s not enough boys for the school to create a boys volleyball club, so i’m trying to get as many hours of practice in at school as i can.”

you nodded in recognition of his situation. “well, sorry to say you won’t get very far if the wall is your only opponent. but you’re certainly welcome to practice with me when my practice is over. if you’re interested, of course.”

“woah, really? you’d do that for me?” he asked in astonishment, eyes going wide as saucers.

“of course i would. i may not know much about you, but i can tell you have a passion for the sport, and it’d be a real shame for that to fizzle out,” you smiled genuinely. “i’ll help you practice...”

it took him a moment to realize you were waiting for his name. “oh! hinata! shoyo hinata.” he introduced.

“well shoyo hinata, i’m y/n l/n and i look forward to practicing with you.” you grinned. a whistle blew behind you, pulling you from your conversation with the boy. “sorry, i’ll see you later!”

sure enough, you found him waiting out by the baseball field, spinning a volleyball in his palm. after a short while of practicing, you realized you had underestimated this kid and the power he can pack in his spikes. it was clear he needed to improve in his receives, but he was in remarkably good shape for playing against a wall every week.

the two of you quickly became good friends, shoyo becoming your number one supporter - aside from your parents, of course. he attended all your games, cheering obnoxiously loud when it was your turn to serve.

over the summer from 8th to 9th grade however, the two of you didn’t see each other nearly as often as you used to. you had to admit it made you sad; the sweet redheaded boy had carved a special spot in your heart and you missed him dearly.

you attended karasuno high school, hoping to join the girls volleyball club and make some new friends. upon examining the club applications, much to your dismay, it appeared that such a club didn’t exist.

volleyball was your passion, and it hurt that you had no way of pursuing it anymore.

hanging your head in defeat and crumpling up the paper, you heard footsteps approaching rapidly from in front of you. before you could look up, a body suddenly collided with you, nearly knocking you over with the momentum they had built up.

“y/n!” a familiar voice cried out. you quickly realized the voice belonged to hinata, who’s arms were currently wrapped around you.

“hinata! i can’t believe you go to school here! i’ve missed you so much!” you squealed, hugging him back.

he pulled away, a look of surprise on his face. “are you kidding? i can’t believe you go to school here! you oughta be wherever the best girls volleyball club is! speaking of that, have you joined yet?”

you glanced down to the crumpled paper that still pressed against your palm. “well that’s the thing, it’s not even a choice on the club application form. unfortunately, i don’t think karasuno has one.”

shoyo gasped dramatically, jaw falling open in shock. “so what are you gonna do? you can’t just not play anymore, you’re so good!”

you smiled at the compliment from the boy, but your expression grew sadder. “thanks, shoyo, but i’m not sure what i can do. this seems like it’s out of my hands.”

a look of determination painted his features as he grabbed you by the shoulders. “no, i’m not gonna let this happen to you. don’t worry, y/n, i’ll find a way for you to play.”

he ran off, leaving you alone with your thoughts in the deserted hallway.

despite having absolutely no idea what he was planning, you trusted the boy. you knew he had your best interests at heart and would do anything to help you succeed, and you adored him for that. you just hoped whatever method he had to allow you to play wasn’t too embarrassing for you; you weren’t too keen on begging some team to let you play for them, but you had a feeling hinata’s plan wouldn’t involve that.

——————————

“please?” hinata begged.

“a girl? join the team? i don’t know hinata, you’d have to run it by the coach.” daichi uttered hesitantly.

“but you’re the captain, daichi, you have the final say!” he reminded him.

daichi sighed. “yeah, you’re right. what’s so special about this girl?”

he watched as hinata’s eyes lit up in excitement when he spoke about her. “well she was the setter in middle school, but that was only because no one else was good enough to play that position. she’s really versatile and she taught me practically everything i know about spiking! she’s also got some mean overhand serving skills; she’d be a great addition to the team! please, daichi, pretty please?”

he looked down at the boy to see him glancing up with a pair of puppy eyes, intent on winning him over. daichi felt he was powerless to do anything but give in, though his description of you did sound pretty great if he was being honest.

“alright, i’ll talk to the coach and see what he thinks. bring her to our next practice and introduce her to everyone.” he said, not missing the bright grin that donned the redhead’s face at his words.

“thank you so much, sir! you won’t regret it, i promise!” he ran back towards the basket of balls to practice serving once more.

——————————

“where are you taking me, shoyo?” you muttered. “can you take your hands off yet?”

he had cornered you back in the main building, insisting you accompany him to some unknown destination he had in mind. since then, he had been walking directly behind you, his hands covering your eyes.

“i’ll show you...” he waited until you took a few more steps. “now!”

you blinked your eyes open to find yourself outside of the gym building. “the gym? what are we doing here, hinata?”

you turned to him and he grinned. “volleyball practice is about to start.”

“volleyball - as in boys volleyball? what am i doing here? am i here to watch you practice?”

he donned a soft smile at your confusion. “no, you’re gonna practice.”

your eyes widened. “i am? i don’t even have any athletic clothes, shoyo, i just have my uniform!”

“i wouldn’t worry too much about that today,” he pushed you towards the doors. “i’ll just be introducing you to everyone today.”

“introducing...? what is going on here, hinata?” you questioned. he pushed the door open to reveal a large group of mostly tall boys, all staring down at you.

most of them looked friendly and approachable, but several of them looked rather intimidating. “everyone, this is y/n. y/n, this is your new team.” shoyo announced.

you gasped, turning towards hinata. “m-my new team? you got me a spot on the team?”

the look of gratitude in your eyes had him blushing a bright pink and he scratched the back of his head nervously. “it was nothing, really. y-”

he was cut off as you hugged him tightly, thanking him for allowing you to continue the sport you loved. “you don’t have to thank me, it’s not a huge deal or anything.”

“are you kidding? it’s a huge deal! i can’t believe you did this for me!” your smile nearly reached your ears.

he walked you around the gym, introducing you to his teammates. sugawara and asahi were incredibly sweet, even offering to set you a few balls to test your spiking abilities, though you declined since you were still wearing a skirt.

the intimidating one you saw earlier - tsukkishima, you had learned - was not as sweet as the others you had met and seemed rather distant, though you hoped that would fade as you got to know him.

tanaka and nishinoya were full of energy and practically gushing over you even though they hadn’t yet witnessed your abilities.

the one shoyo introduced as kageyama shot you a nasty glare. “what position did you play?”

“setter,” you murmured, slightly on edge from the look of intensity in his eyes. that intensity morphed into fury after your words, intimidating you further.

you quickly remembered this was the incredible setter hinata had mentioned several times before. “o-oh! don’t worry, i don’t plan on taking your spot or anything, i’m sure you’re far better than i am!”

“good.” you smiled at him nervously. “if you’re good enough, maybe i’ll send you a couple sets.”

and of course you met daichi, the captain to whom you owed your spot on this team. he was very friendly and personable and you suspected he was the type to give inspirational speeches before games.

kageyama pulled hinata aside, practicing quick attacks with him, leaving you with daichi.

“hinata talks about you quite a bit, y’know,” daichi murmured, catching your attention.

“he does?” you queried. “all good things, i hope.”

the captain smiled down at you. “he speaks very highly about you and your skills. i think he’s got a bit of a bias since you taught him what he knows, but i don’t doubt you’ll really prove yourself on the court.”

your eyes went wide at the faith he already had in you, despite never seeing you play. “thank you, daichi, that really means a lot.”

the boys divided themselves into teams, starting a practice match as you and daichi observed from the sidelines. your eyes found hinata in the back row, who gave you a wide grin and a wave.

you waved back, your heart warming at the gesture. you had only just met the boys, but you couldn’t wait for the next practice.

********************

i might make this a series? maybe?? maybe not?? idk but let me know what u think :D

tags: @aestosia​ @elysianslove​

not working: @akaashis-keiji @bloodydestiney 

[kellyvela]

Has GRRM ever said in any interview or on his blog that he hates Sansa's complete storyline after 4th season? I dont really follow all of his fan/media interactions but from what I can recall he has spoken abt how LF in books wont give sansa to ramsay or how noone had issue when Jeyne was given the Ramsay storyline in books etc. Asking this question to you bcs you rightly point out how ppl misunderstood his interviews/posts ( sansans/targ stans etc) & I cant recall him ever saying he 'hates' sansa's story in the later seasons of the show ( not s5 in particular but even s6 to s8).

Capclave 2013:

A change that has repercussions for season 4 is Marillion’s tongue removal from the first season. Martin said that the change was made (from an anonymous singer being the victim of a de-tonguing) because they wanted Joffrey to maim someone the audience would recognize. He believes this is an issue because of the part the singer plays in Sansa’s storyline, how he affects her interactions with others in the book, and he doesn’t believe another character will be fulfilling that role on Game of Thrones.

—GRRM talks season 4 & beyond - Winter is Coming - October 13, 2013

2014 Fan Reports about Capclave 2013 (*):

In a convention panel this year, George said on the record that he had no idea what they were doing with Sansa or where they’re taking her storyline, which now makes sense perhaps. He was not pleased when he was talking about it, so who knows what’s going to happen with her! Knowing GRRM, that could mean they’re going off the canon reservation, and/or that they’re going to be making a lot of shit up

I have notes I’ll be responding to (thanks!) but enough people commented about Sansa that I thought I’d share that tidbit, since it happened back in September iirc (was the same panel where he criticized the exclusion of Tyrell brothers)

—starkalypse - June 3, 2014

GRRM’s comments at capclave about Sansa (which I was in the third row for, for those asking about legitimacy) were among others during the panel that had a general theme of dissatisfaction with show changes. He was not in good spirits for that con and didn’t really have anything positive to say regarding the show. So take it with a grain of salt; there are deviations away from the books in the episodes he gets writers credit for, so maybe they’re doing something stupid or they really don’t have a gameplan!

—starkalypse - June 4, 2014

(*) These reports were posted in June 2014, during the airing of Game of Thrones Season 4, about Capclave 2013 that happened in October 2013.

Just after the rape episode:

How many children did Scarlett O’Hara have? Three, in the novel. One, in the movie. None, in real life: she was a fictional character, she never existed. The show is the show, the books are the books; two different tellings of the same story.

There have been differences between the novels and the television show since the first episode of season one. And for just as long, I have been talking about the butterfly effect. Small changes lead to larger changes lead to huge changes. HBO is more than forty hours into the impossible and demanding task of adapting my lengthy (extremely) and complex (exceedingly) novels, with their layers of plots and subplots, their twists and contradictions and unreliable narrators, viewpoint shifts and ambiguities, and a cast of characters in the hundreds.

There has seldom been any TV series as faithful to its source material, by and large (if you doubt that, talk to the Harry Dresden fans, or readers of the Sookie Stackhouse novels, or the fans of the original WALKING DEAD comic books)… but the longer the show goes on, the bigger the butterflies become. And now we have reached the point where the beat of butterfly wings is stirring up storms, like the one presently engulfing my email.

Prose and television have different strengths, different weaknesses, different requirements.

David and Dan and Bryan and HBO are trying to make the best television series that they can.

And over here I am trying to write the best novels that I can.

And yes, more and more, they differ. Two roads diverging in the dark of the woods, I suppose… but all of us are still intending that at the end we will arrive at the same place.

In the meantime, we hope that the readers and viewers both enjoy the journey. Or journeys, as the case may be. Sometimes butterflies grow into dragons.

—The Show, the Books - Not A Blog - May 18, 2015

Report about the last Game of Thrones Script that GRRM wrote:

No Wedding for Sansa and Ramsay: Without question, one of the most controversial changes the show made in trying to streamline the books was by slotting Sansa into the role of Ramsay’s wife and rape victim in Season 5. In the books, Ramsay marries and assaults Sansa’s best childhood friend, Jeyne Poole—who is being forced to impersonate Arya—instead. (You can actually see Jeyne briefly sitting next to Sansa in the show’s pilot.)

At the time Martin wrote this script, though, substituting Sansa for Jeyne was not yet the plan. Martin has Roose Bolton tell his bastard son: “We have a much better match in mind for you. A match to help House Bolton hold the north. Arya Stark.” It should be noted, however, that in Martin’s script, Sansa isn’t free from menace either. At his own wedding-day breakfast, Joffrey still threatens to rape the older Stark sister—once he’s “gotten Margaery with child.”)

—Game of Thrones: The Secrets of George R.R. Martin’s Final Script - Vanity Fair - December 7, 2018

A month before the Game of Throne S8 Finale:

Sansa’s story, in particular, has really deviated from the books. Ramsay Bolton — that marriage obviously was with a different character. When they start deviating like that, did you initially have any emotional reaction, even though you worked in Hollywood for many years yourself?

GRRM: Well, yeah — of course you have an emotional reaction. I mean, would I prefer they do it exactly the way I did it? Sure. But I’ve been on the other side of it, too. I’ve adapted work by other people, and I didn’t do it exactly the way they did it, so ….

Some of the deviation, of course, is because I’ve been so slow with these books. I really should’ve finished this thing four years ago — and if I had, maybe it would be telling a different story here. It’s two variations of the same story, or a similar story, and you get that whenever anything is adapted. The analogy I’ve often used is, to ask how many children did Scarlett O’Hara have? Do you know the answer to that?

I know it’s different in the book and the movie …

GRRM: Three children in the book, one by each husband. She had one child in the movie. And in real life, of course, Scarlett O’Hara had no children, because she never existed. Margaret Mitchell made her up. The book is there. You can pick it up and read Mitchell’s version of it, or you can see the movie and see David Selznick’s version of it. I think they’re both true to the spirit of the work, and hopefully that’s also true of Game of Thrones on one hand, and A Song of Ice and Fire on the other hand.

—George R.R. Martin on the Stark Sisters and Ending ‘Game of Thrones’ - RollingStone - April 22, 2019

James Hibberd’s Book:

GEORGE R. R. MARTIN: Jeyne Poole was included in the pilot—she’s shown giggling next to Sansa—but she’s never seen or referred to again. I actually wrote Jeyne into “The Pointy End,” my first script, when Arya killed the stableboy. I had some stuff with Jeyne running to Sansa being all hysterical and dialogue in the council chamber with Littlefinger saying, “Give her to me, I’ll make sure she doesn’t cause any trouble.” That was dropped.

DAVID BENIOFF: Sansa is a character we care about almost more than any other. We really wanted Sansa to play a major part in that season. If we were going to stay absolutely faithful to the book, it was going to be very hard to do that. There was a subplot we loved from the books, but it was a character not involved in the show.

GEORGE R. R. MARTIN: I was trying to set up Jeyne for her future role as the false Arya. The real Arya has escaped and is presumed dead. But this girl has been in Littlefinger’s control for years, and he’s been training her. She knows Winterfell, has the proper northern accent, and can pose as Arya. Who the hell knows what a little girl you met two years ago looks like? When you’re a lord visiting Winterfell, are you going to pay attention to the little kids running around? So she can pull off the impersonation. Not having Jeyne, they used Sansa for that. Is that better or worse? You can make your decision there. Oddly, I never got pushback for that in the book because nobody cared about Jeyne Poole that much. They care about Sansa.

—Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon: Game of Thrones and the Official Untold Story of the Epic Series by James Hibberd - October 6, 2020

GEORGE R. R. MARTIN: My Littlefinger would have never turned Sansa over to Ramsay. Never. He’s obsessed with her. Half the time he thinks she’s the daughter he never had—that he wishes he had, if he’d married Catelyn. And half the time he thinks she is Catelyn, and he wants her for himself. He’s not going to give her to somebody who would do bad things to her. That’s going to be very different in the books.

—Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon: Game of Thrones and the Official Untold Story of the Epic Series by James Hibberd - October 6, 2020

I hope it helps you.

Thanks for your message.

[flooffybits]

Favoritism

Idol: Kim Minji, Kim Yoohyeon (Dreamcatcher)

Anon: - i wanna start by saying thank u for taking the time to read this and that reading ur works is such a stress reliever amidst all the deadlines i have ☺️ craving some fluff rn so can i request a scenario with poly reader, jiu and yoohyeon? jiyoo wants their s/o’s attention but s/o is busy with pie and cherry who seem to favor s/o a lot more than their own owners. (can u add sua being whiny bc pie keeps running away by going to the reader? i find it cute everytime i see a scared pie with her 😂)

A/n: this is just such a cute and funny idea that i was excited to write it. I’ve been itching for more Dreamcatcher requests so thank you for this

☕buy me a coffee☕

Your girlfriends always loved it when you were able to spend time together despite your busy schedules. With them being idols and you at your own job, it was understandable that the time you had together wasn’t exactly a lot. But whenever you were around, it made the whole thing more meaningful.

Gone were Jiu and Yoohyeon from Dreamcatcher and the only people left were your girlfriends, Minji and Yoohyeon. Whenever the three of you were together, they lived their lives in such a domestic manner even with the mention of InSomnias and having the rest of the group around every now and then.

While they loved when you were at the dorm, right now, they were sat to the side, watching with envy when your attention would not shift away from the twos pups that were happily wiggling on your lap and trying to catch your hands.

“You’re so cute! If I knew you were here, I would have brought something for you.” You coo while scratching under their chins before they decided to stand on their hind legs in an attempt to lick your face, but due to both being so small, they could barely even reach your neck.

But their attempts were just so cute, and the way they would not stop trying to lick you ended up tickling you and forcing you to fall back from your sitting position. Seeing their opportunity, the two dogs waste no time in attacking your face with kisses, drawing more giggles from your lips as you squirmed on the floor.

It would have been such an adorable sight to the two owners, but seeing as it’s been more than thirty minutes of you ignoring the pair that’s caused them to dislike their adorable little fur babies at that very moment.

“Cherry, come here!” The leader tried after another five minutes, but the white puppy refused to budge from your chest, the same with Pie when Yoohyeon tried calling for her. “Pie, Y/n is tired, see?” But she simply turned her head away when you started to pet the two.

Minji looked at you with a huff, pouting when you wouldn’t even look in their direction. “I get the feeling that you’re only with us for our dogs.” She claims, but even then you refuse to look while smiling at the two. “Well, they were the ones asking for my attention. It’s kinda hard not to give it to them.” You chuckle lightly before slowly sitting up, setting the two on your lap but keeping one hand on each of them as they finally calmed down.

“You said you were visiting us, not Pie and Cherry! And they won’t even come to us.” Yoohyeon complained with a pout of her own when she stood to try and take her pet away, but Pie had only tried to wriggle out of her arms before she was making her way back to you.

“In my defense, I had no clue they were here.” You smile before putting the two on the floor to stand up and tend to your sulking girlfriends, which caused them to finally smile at getting your attention, but the tugging of your pants had caused you to pause, looking down to find Cherry biting on it just so you would pay more attention to her.

Seeing this, Minji’s eyes narrowed before she looked around for the pup’s toy and then reaching for it. “Cherry, look! It’s your favorite toy.” She called out, and while she felt triumphant when she looked, Cherry was quick to dismiss it as she barked and attempted to have you pick her up once more.

Their antics had caused you to laugh before reaching down to pick both Cherry and Pie up, seeing as the latter was staring at you to do so. Walking over to the bed, you sat down next to Minji, Yoohyeon taking the opposite side as you set the two dogs on their respective owners’ laps.

But before they could even properly hold them, the two hopped off their laps and back on yours, earning a groan from the pair and another bout of laughter from you. “Jesus, why are they so clingy?” You ask, your voice going a pitch higher when you, once again, began to shower them with affection.

"For heaven's sake..." Minji tried to get Cherry off of you, only to have her bark back and shift away from her hands. "Yah! Kim Cherry!"

"Pie loves mommy, right? Come to mommy." Yoohyeon had attempted to lure Pie back to herself, only to have said dog turn its head to you and pressed her small body against your stomach.

Seeing as there was no chance of their pets leaving your side, Yoohyeon groaned dramatically before she was laying down on the bed. “Unnie! Our babies are stealing Y/n!” She whined in a high pitched tone as Minji pouted while you continued to play with the two said babies.

“You’re being so dramatic. They just missed me just like you did.”

“We still miss you because we only got at least five minutes until Pie and Cherry took you away.”

Lightly rolling your eyes, you then move to set the two pups on the floor and then turn to the pair who were looking at you with a pout on their faces. If it were possible, Yoohyeon would even cry with how much you refused to give them any form of attention.

“Come here. They can’t get on the bed.”

At that, your two girlfriends finally perked up before you were pulled down on the bed and into their eager arms, kisses being pressed to your cheeks before Yoohyeon rested her head against your shoulder and Minji pressed a chaste kiss to your lips, sighing in content as they were finally able to enjoy your company without a problem.

“I can’t believe you were being jealous over dogs.” You chuckled when the three of you just ended up cuddling on the bed, kisses exchanged in between and whispered compliments slipping every now and then.

Minji scoffed as she glanced to the floor where the two were, patiently waiting with their tails wagging, and then back to you. “We’re your girlfriends.”

“They’re your babies.”

“Stop ruining the moment.”

You ended up laughing at the small whine that came from the silver haired woman and kissed her forehead before doing the same to Minji, who relaxed in your hold and allowed her eyes to close.

“I’m always gonna love the both of you. Cherry and Pie are your kids, so of course I’m going to love them, too.” You tell them as Yoohyeon hums. “But you should love us more.”

“There’s no one else to love more.”

..

Later in the evening, everyone’s gathered in the living room, you and Minji in the kitchen, preparing dinner, while Gahyeon decided to help out and wanting to learn as well.

The rest of the girls were just waiting, playing with the two dogs since their attention seemed to always flit to the pair whenever one of them was brought along for the group to meet.

“Unnie, stop!” You could hear Yoohyeon’s voice amidst the chaos while continuing to stir the pot, the girls’ laughter meeting your ears after. “Be careful!” Siyeon had called out and the three of you wonder what was happening until two fluffy puppies came pawing at your legs.

Handong had to laugh as Bora ran after them. Currently, Yubin was laughing on the couch with Siyeon beside her and the main vocalist had her phone out whilst Yoohyeon had gotten up to run after the two as well.

When you look down at the two, Bora was already whining. “Why do they keep going to Y/n?” The volume of her voice seemed to frighten the pups and you smile before gently picking them up, your older girlfriend shaking her head as she went back to finishing your food while Gahyeon did her best to distance herself from you and the dogs in your arms.

“They really love Y/n. Cherry even barked at me when I tried to take her away.” Minji explained as you walked to the living room to set the pups down. Yubin reached out after calming from her laughing fit and smiled when Pie licked at her hand while Handong gently started to pet Cherry’s head.

“It would have been easy if Y/n’s surname was Kim, too. But if ever, are you going to rename them as Cherry and Pie L/n or just keep them as is?” Siyeon asked curiously.

“I’m offended that you think I’ll let Y/n completely steal my baby, unnie.” Yoohyeon piped up as she picked Pie up into her arms and rubbed her stomach. “Ohhh. Rejected.” Handong teases but you just smile and shake your head. “Even if they don’t have my name, I can still love them, anyway.”

“Y/n is such a sweet talker, no wonder Cherry and Pie prefer them over us.” Minji stated as she and Gahyeon finally came back with the food and placed them on the table. “Well, to be fair, Y/n is a really lovable person.” Gahyeon piped up, earning a smack on the arm from a cackling Bora.

“I can’t argue with that, but I still refuse to leave Y/n with Cherry and/or Pie anymore. I feel like if we do that, they’ll go home with Y/n instead.”

“Hey, I’ll take good care of them.” You defend and Yubin nods her head. “With how you take care of Jiu unnie and Yoohyeon, there’s no doubt about it.”

“No, I’d rather Y/n just takes care of us and we’ll handle the dogs.” Yoohyeon huffs and her fellow maknae seemed surprise whilst Siyeon poked her arm. “Are you being jealous? Of your own dog?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

Minji and Yoohyeon send you a glare while you winked at them. “They’ve been like this the whole day.” You explain, earning another round of laughter from the group, minus your two lovely girlfriends.

“You’re lucky we love you.”

“Love you, too.”

[illyrian-lover-flower]

What are your top 10 and bottom 10 ACOTAR characters?

Hello sweet anon, I first wanted to thank you so much (you brightened my day with that😊) and before we start I just thought to tell you that this turned out rather long, so I summarized it at the top and put my whole reasons under the cut😄

Positive:

1. Elain/ 2. Azriel/ 3. Nuala & Cerridwen/ 5. Lucien/ 6. Amren/ 7. Alis/ 8. Nesta/ 9. Cassian/ 10. Feyre

Negative:

10. Morrigian/ 9. Graysen/ 8. Rhysand/ 7. Cauldron/ 6. Attor/ 5. Amarantha/ 4. Ianthe/ 3. Luciens Brothers/ 2. Beron Vanserra/ 1. -

+ 1. Elain

Ok, so I just love this female. I love how Elain is not portrayed as the type of woman who does need a weapon to get what she wants. It is true that one might take her outstanding beauty as a weapon (it sure is) but she can achieve a lot of good things by just using her words and charisma, letting peace remain, before one might do the wrong step and start a war.

Elain is in my opinion though not only charismatic, but also really … yeah silent and well behaved. She does not need to be the centre of the party or a conversation, we have learned she enjoys the company of silence too and her language or the way she is, just speaks on another level. One might say she has a stick shoved up her ass, but I don’t think that this is the case, simply bc we have seen Elain act on her own emotions as well, she just seems to prefer to hold up that mask of her human days around her family, she can use curses too and also have dirty thoughts (her reaction to Azriel on solstice (this was no shock, fear or whatever one might claim!)) god forbid!

Something I also love about her is her seer ability, I am most of the time really intrigued by the future, so seeing her look into the still foggy realms of what is to happen, is really interesting.

+ 2. Azriel

This boy just deserves all the love this world has to give! One of the reasons probably bc dark and broody males with a whole wall of mystery build around them are my typ. But no, seriously – I think Az is one of the most misunderstood characters, mostly by his family.

Bc even though he has known the greatest part of his family for 500+ years, no one seems to understand him, his feelings or his wishes (Thank you Rhysand!) as everyone just assumes Azriel is Azriel and is just ok with being where his family is( Obligated to be the fifth wheel for the rest of eternity!😭)

Something which I also think the IC mistakes is his silence. It might seem as if Azriel barely has anything to say, but I guess it is more the other way around, as we have figured out that if he talks it is always well thought with deep meanings, at times even poetic from the bottom of his heart and often used to motivate or encourage someone. I just think he picks his words so carefully bc he is afraid to give away too much of himself and that everything he might say, or every thought he harboured, could be used against him, so that he would be wounded (THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THAT RHYSAND!)

+ 3. Nuala & Cerridwen

I just love both of them, so I was not able to put one of them on a fourth place.

Anyway, Nuala and Cerridwen are two characters who are also majorly underestimated. Those two have a quiet side which makes most  of the people around them forget that they even exist, which is pretty noticeable from Feyres, Rhysands and even Nestas pov (though I am not gonna lean too wide out of the window with her since I haven’t read Acosf yet) Those two could literally plan to overthrow an High Lord and we would only know the moment it is too late,bc everyone seems to forget about their existence. Something I also love about them, is their whole character. We don’t know much about them now, but it already is noticeable that they accept people like they are, for they have no fear of Azriel, nor do they act around Elain as if she were made of glas.

+ 5. Lucien

Lucien is just an innocent bean who deserves all the love in all of Prythian! I might be an Elriel stan, but you might want to address the fact that not even one rooting for Elriel is oblivious to the shit show which took place in Luciens life. Undermined son, lover killed in front of his eyes, abused/used by his best friend and on top of that practically homeless. He knows that he can’t go back to the spring court yet, for things with Tamlin did not yet settle down, he also knows he isn’t also really home at the Night Court and god forbid if he ever thought of entering Autumn again! If it wouldn’t be for the Band of Exils (Thank god they exist) he’d be all lonely and without a roof over his head.

And this is something our sassy, witty fox does not deserve.

+ 6. Amren

Amren is just a character I identify with. She seems like as if she is only caring about her own stuff and only mind her business, while in truth she just doesn’t know how to express the love she feels for her family, as we know from her former past she did not even receive love, and just cares the most about her family.

Something I also love about her is her whole behaviour if one is to doubt her size. In my country I barely scratch the minimum of average height, so a friend of mine likes to make jokes about my size (much like Cassian about Amren), so seeing how she just shows him his place with a glare or some sharp words is just satisfaction to me.

+ 7. Alis

The kindness with which Alis treated Feyre in Acotar just sort of stuck to me and as I did not really find a character in Prythian, who was born there, who had the same kindness as her – she just stayed.

+ 8. Nesta

Nesta is a character I absolutely love, in Acotar I do admit I did not pay that much attention to her or Elain, but I just love how strong minded she is. She had been fighting for her own goal the moment she got spit out of the cauldron and she did not particularly stray from that. I also adore her for her strength – she wouldn’t even have been in the need to learn combat in order to hurt someone, as Nesta just analyses the people around her so much, so that she’ll know exactly what would feel to them like a gut stab.

The fact that Nesta is a huge bookworm and a dreamer in her own way makes her even more awesome.

+ 9. Cassian

Now you can just love this guy! He might have his ups and downs, but in the end he always worked his way out of them. Cassian just has such a big heart, that much like Nesta, he would do anything in order to protect his family and loved ones.

And while he is great to cheer one up, he might not be the brightest candle on the cake, but he would still go to the end of the world if it meant he could fight and protect those he loves. Something I also liked was that he is practically the one who started this whole thing with the females training while Rhysand just let the Illyrians do like they please.

+ 10. Feyre

As the main character we had learned a lot about her and I am happy that she is alive, has her freedom, is in love with her mate, has a child, a loving family and a really high title (*cough* High Lady). But what I think she could have done different was the way of how she treated both, Elain and Nesta, during their traumas.

Even though Nesta might not have shown her trauma that clear in the beginning, she could have still looked over the plates rim once it was almost tearing through one’s ears in a painful scream of help that Nesta was not fine. And judging someone straight out mad or considering it while you yourself have not even a real clue of how this whole Prythian thing works is just a big no-no. Elain doubted herself already enough, Feyres fear that she might have gone mad was not helping the situation.

And well Nestas story is one I can’t particularly dive into yet, but from what I have read (Acofas) she dealt with it the wrong way. It might have been that she and Nesta did not have the best relationship and she might have even wondered if she was entitled to bound with her sister on such a topic, but when Nesta pushed each of them away Feyre should have not moved away from her.

Feyre already did a lot for her, true, but Feyre knew herself how it was to have a trauma and she herself had pushed help, in the first months, away, but however I am overall just happy she got her happy ending.

- 10. Morrigian

I have criticized Morrigian already a lot, but I will just say it again.

First of, I don’t hate her. Morrigian is a character who I think has a lot to tell, as we know she kept the biggest part of herself a secret until now, but I just don’t like how she claims to trust the IC while in truth she refuses to tell them of her sexuality (the thing she seems to be afraid? of the most.)

I know the Azriel pining after her for 500+ years, was a lot of pressure on her back, but she could have also just told him she wasn’t interested or loved females (if she wouldn’t have been fine with telling Rhys). However I think she is going to be one of the more important side characters as I think her situation and everything that follows, pretty much sums up how gays/lesbians and other LGBTQ members feel now a days. And I think her journey is sort of supposed to help to overcome those struggles.

I at least hope she gets her journey.

- 9. Graysen

Graysen was an ass for breaking the engagement of like a toddler, that’s it – end of the song. If he would have told Elain he couldn’t trust her bc she lied to him – ok.

But the tune makes the music! Keep that in mind,Nolan!

- 8. Rhysand

Now Rhysand is to me a character who tip toes on a two sided blade.

I normally do like him, he is kind and caring and no doubt would die for the people he loves, but he has a very, very hard time separating work from private life. The example I’ll go with is the big bad magical solstice. He might have claimed that the kiss between Elain and Az could have invoked a blood duel, if Lucien would have notice, possibly even provoking a war between Night and Autumn (work) but his ulterior motive were Feyre and Nyx, no one blames him for that, but it is a private reason and excuse he should not use while speaking as the High Lord.

And again, when Az starts doubting the Cauldron with choosing the wrong mate for Elain, Rhys assumes it is just lust speaking from Az and commands him as the High Lord to stay away from Elain (low blow of assumption, but not my point) while he then offers to pay for the pleasure halls Azriel could possibly seek out (according to him). With what money would he have paid it, his own (private) while he was speaking as the High Lord, or the exchequer (work)?

You see my point? Anyway Rhys is a loving character, but he is just a bit troubled ruling an entire court (this huge) and having a family to take care of. Perhaps he is having it settled in a few years, but until then we will just have to wait and see.

- 7. Cauldron

I don’t really know if you can call the Cauldron a character, but I just placed it here as I hated how it had humiliated Nesta and Elain.

The bloodshed it caused was also nothing I ever want to mention again.

- 6. Attor

Now just the Rainbow and the attack on Velaris, just this, nu-uh man.

- 5. Amarantha

I hated her for killing innocent fae, enslaving High Lords or in general and setting up ‘riddles’ (games) in which the life of helpless fae was depending on a human who could barely safe herself with a bargain. Something I also kind of take personal is how she treated Jurian, I mean ok – he deserved a punishment, but like setting him in chains and having him barely at the minimum of survival would have been also fine.

- 4. Ianthe

Just the Suriel! This was when I took things personal! (I’ll add an 11 to the list above – I loved the weaver!)

- 3. Luciens Borthers

Luckily, most of those little shits got what they deserve.

I don’t grow up in a family very high in statues, so I don’t know how it is, but no matter if poor or rich – siblings should fight together instead of against each other! And most definitely not kill the female their brother loved!

- 2. Beron Vanssera

I hate him for having hesitated saving Rhys, watching how his sons treated Lucien and how he could possibly let anything as terrifying, as what had happened to Mor, happen. Also – it’s just the way how he treats his wife!

Someone really hadn’t drunken his ‘respectful juice’, for the last fucking Millenia!

- 1. /

I don’t really despise a character entirely, as I know each and every one has a bright and dark side of the coin (Still trying to find the bright side of Luciens father and brothers though)

[seijorhi]

asks :)

once again, i’m terrible at answering things :)

First off, your newest Kuroo story WRECKED ME. OMMMMMG LIKE IT'S SOOO FUCKING GOOD. You are one of the most incredible writers ever, like professional style writing. These should be books and you should get paid for it, honestly. Your skill is totally unmatched, my friend. I just adore everything you write. I had two questions thou about the story, just because I am totally obsessed by it- so has Kuroo been obsessed with her since he saw her, I'm like curious how his obsession started 

like is it because she's young and he's interested? Cuz I totally got the vibes at the party that he was showing her off like she was his girlfriend and he seems like he has been wanting her for awhile. I was just curious about how it started cuz god I'm a simp for yandere kuroo- boss man Kuroo would make me weakkkkk. My second question is so is he like obsessively in love with her or is it like just a this hot piece of ass is mine to fuck kinda thing? Like does he want a relationship?

anyways, I love you and I love your writing. Everything you write is legit perfection! Thank you for all your beautiful stories you share with us! - Kai

first of all, whomst gave you the right to be so damn sweet???!?! dsgsjkl thank you, bby!

so, like with all my fics i kind of have a ‘read into it how you want’ thing going for it. whether or not kuroo actually has ‘romantic’ (i use that word loosely) feelings for the reader or whether he just enjoys fucking her because he’s in a position of power and she’s easily manipulated is left a little up to your interpretation and how you’d prefer to imagine it. however, having said that there are little hints throughout the fic that imply that there’s a little more depth to kuroo’s feelings. you’re not wrong with the whole ‘showing her off’ vibe at the party, and there’s mentions of confessions that kuroo gives while he’s fucking the reader - also the title of the fic, invidia, means envy in latin. so take that how you will 🤷‍♀️

and as far as how it all began, i like to think that it was kind of a slow build. again it’s implied that kuroo has met the reader (however briefly) a few times before - at games as nekoma’s manager, when she initially was introduced as his girlfriend and she has stayed over at their place in the past. it wasn’t so much a singular moment, but kuroo’s definitely been paying more attention to her than she realises. 

WHAT WHAT WHAT???? RHI UHMMM WAS KUROO IN LOVE WITH THE READER???? 👀👀👀👀 HOLY SHIT. I'm honestly mind blown rn like I have a lot of questions like did Shin know? Was he also into it? Omg the idea of Father and Son sharing reader...

(also I def did not hope that Bokuto was also there cuz that would have be fun....oppsss)🙊

hehehe

no, shin didn’t know but oh can you imagine the betrayal if he did? if he willingly set up the reader to be fucked by his dad 👀god damn

adsfgdhjfkfl there was a moment i genuinely considered having something more happen at the christmas party where bo would stumble across and one thing would lead to another.... but i decided not to go that route. this one needed to be solo kuroo haha

Rhi, what can I say, amazing as always!

ahhh thank you sm, bby!

Hi i absolutely love the kuroo fic at first no one would actually notice he was into and then story actually rises nicely however i would like to ask like what happens later im sorry im a little burnt out from my mountains of assignments that i cant think of a possible aftermath since the story had an open ending but yeah what happens later after the whole scene does y/n stay there for the 7 days and get r*ped again or she goes home early and like what happens to kuroo and shinsuke im sorry for annoying you with questions its fully up to you whether u would like to answer or not :-)

aw, thank you! I hope your assignments and stuff are all done? And pls bby, you’re not annoying me at all 💕💕💕

Honestly again, it’s kind of left up to what you like to think would happen, but personally I think that the reader stays, because there’s no easy way to get out of that situation without raising suspicion - which means that she then has to spend the next week trying unwittingly playing cat and mouse with Kuroo who’s gonna use every damn opportunity he has to push your boundaries 👀

Duuuuude invidia fucked me up! Like fuck, lol! The build up was so spectacular! It makes me wonder two things: how did kuroo’s obsession start, and what would shin have done if he caught them (and why do I feel like he’d join in... I guess it runs in the family lol).

I loved it sooooo much and im also so creeped out lol. Can’t trust other people’s dads. Everything about it was perfect!

glad you liked it, bby!!

shin’s a good boy and he genuinely loves the reader, but i think if he did stumble across the two of them he’d just shut down and walk away. it’d be the biggest betrayal in his eyes - it wouldn’t matter if you were drunk or he was, who came onto who - the two most important people in his life going behind his back would just break him :( and i think he probably wouldn’t give either of them a chance to explain

but if we’re talking degenerate shin... 👀👉👈

imagine if invidia! reader gets pregnant and Shin thinks it’s his, but its actually his dad’s 🤭

oooh kuroo would be such a smug little shit - he’d get extra touchy feely with the reader, drop ‘casual’ hints, basically doing everything outside of straight up admitting it to him, just to see how far he can push until shin starts to doubt whether he’s actually the father - when it’s just the two of you though... i think he’d be a little softer - but equally as possessive - you’re his, and so’s the kid growing inside of you

Kuroo: son do you know what a cuck is? Shinnosuke: no? Kuroo: wOULD YOU LIKE TO FIND OUT - @south-korea-cakes

dagshjskl i snorted when i read this but you’re not wrong lmao

hi rhi! i have a question about Lion’s Den! did oikawa purposely set the reader up to witness his true nature? or was it chance that she saw him kill?

no - i think he’d rather have kept you in the dark a little longer and tried to let things develop ‘organically’ but he’s not upset that you did find out the truth - gives him an excuse to move things along and take what he wants 👀

hey rhi:) soo my boyfriend of two years just broke up with me and so far a major comfort has just been rereading your stories. something about feeling desired, ya know? anyway, thanks for making me feel a little better <3 - @theofficialhufflepuff

aw i’m sorry to hear that :( i’m glad my fics can help make you feel a lil better - sending love bby! 💕

omg i adore everything in the soulmate series hello !! would any of the soulmate pairings ever end up feeling lowkey competitive w/ the other?? like all of them seem to mutually respect the other but would there ever come a point where smth pushes them into trying to outdo ur other soulmate when it comes to ur affection?

also have i mentioned how much i love ur writing bc i love ur writing

hmmm, not so much with oikawa & iwa or ushijima and tendou because i think they have pretty rock solid relationships with each other prior to the reader coming along - if they did it would only be minor stuff

the twins on the other hand - good fucking luck with them because they’ll turn everything into a competition. the moment one twin thinks you’re favouring the other too much expect to get dragged across the room and forced to spend ‘quality time’ with the other. it’s all very petty and exhausting and there is no possible chance for you to win. but thank you sweetheart!!

tonight im thinking about The Final Girl! boys forcing you to share a bed with them for the first time. With Kuroo’s face buried in the crook of your neck, one big hand palming your breast for good measure, Bo holding onto your waist, and Kaashi’s legs tangled with yours. its suffocating, really😪😓

asdgdhjdkdl suffocating? yes. now where do i sign up?? 🥺

you are so talented in writing it's crazy!! just the way you articulate things is ugh *chef's kiss*. i hope you are doing well and not receiving hate 🥺 ily pls

ahhh thank you so much, messages like these always make me so happy! ily bby! 💕

more karasuno first years soon? 👀

who’s to say?? i don’t have any full fics planned but maybe some concepts and thirsts??

if you make a yandere msby fic i’ll literally lose it i love your writing

👀i am considering it

[reversecreek]

clicks onto the dash wearing kitten heels n coyly holding my bang....... hi. me again. it took me so long to select a gif to use on cricket’s intro n i settled on this one bc he looks so unsure abt his smile n it’s rly his essence <3 u can find his pinterest board here n his (work in progress) spotify playlist here. hmu to plot!!! 

* alex wolff, cis male + he/him | you know cricket donahue, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of their life, on and off? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to should have known better by sufjan stevens like, a million times this year, which slipping on wet leaves to photograph a tree struck alight by lightning, delivering a tedtalk to your own reflection to hype yourself up to buy groceries, hiding your hands inside of your sleeves in case you grew an impromptu megan fox thumb overnight thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 1st, so they’re a libra, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt, she/her )

HISTORY:

cricket ws born to a couple tht lived in lilac ridge. their trailer was tucked closest to the woods n always fell under the shade. it was like the leaves wanted to pretend they were a perpetual hanging cloud on the family n that was kind of fitting. their only reason fr having him in the first place was a kind of shrugged like........... we’re under the income bracket we’d get child benefits so why not! may as well try it to rake in some extra cash! needless to say they didn’t rly think it thru or anticipate all of the responsibilities tht came w children n wound up seeing him as an extremely large burden n boy didn’t he know it!

(child neglect & abuse tw) i’ll try to keep this part vague n brief but things were Not Good for cricket growing up. people in lilac ridge didn’t like his parents n it was for a gd reason. he remembers foggy things. being little n wandering around combing the grass with a stick to search for wrappers to suck on bc he was hungry. feeling uneasy when the front door opened. finding out his name was cricket bc the insects used to crawl into their trailer thru the vents n his parents liked to squish them into the carpet -- his mum told him as much once. i think this says a lot. to excessively trim the fat of the story he wound up entering the system at around 8 after his latest and most serious hospital visit. his parents hd to deal w the authorities n last he heard they bounced to evade charges.

(anxiety & violence & trauma tw) cricket sustained a few lifelong injuries from his time in lilac ridge. his knee didn’t heal right which meant he had (n still has to this day) a limp n he’s partially deaf in one ear. he’s always been an incredibly insecure n anxious person so this mde him rly self conscious going into a strange n new environment tht wld b difficult fr any kid to adjust to, nvm w these added worries. he jst felt like something weird to ogle at honestly. he probably wld have felt like that no matter where he was or what he looked like. he cld be in a huge hall of 200 people all wearing the same uniform n he’d still feel like the odd one out. needless to say this didn’t rly help him make friends

cricket’s coping mechanisms were romanticising the things tht other people found ugly or embarrassing or painfully ordinary. he liked it when the rain hit clunky drops against school windows n forbid everyone from playing outside bc he could feel the vibrations through the rubber soles of his shoes n it was a little bit like hearing all of the world at once fr just a moment. he liked medieval fantasy lore about stout gnomes w crumbs in their beards n cheeks red from ale. he liked fallen nests with the remnants of hatched eggs still dirty from the branches n soil they’d hit on the way down. he liked the way the sunlight leaked thru the leaves of the trees in the woods and how, when he sat very still, he could tune into the ringing that was always in his ear n pretend it was coming from the same place, that light thru the leaves, that the angels were trying to talk to him.

he spent a lot of time in the red room at his high skl (i’m begging u this is not a 50 shades reference) (after googling i jst realised it’s called a darkroom bt i’m leaving this fr the sake of sexy bimbo authenticity) n felt quite at home in there. he borrowed a camera whenever he cld (maybe he did yearbook) n photography became his way of immortalising the world as the romanticised version he wanted it to be. his memories were bad bt his photos were beautiful. maybe if he took enough they’d paste over n bleed into each other. maybe bad cld be replaced w beautiful if he tried his very best.

he got placed into fostering w a family once bt apparently didn’t meet the vibe check of their tastes so he wound up returning to the group home he’d initially been placed in. overall this is where he grew up n he aged out the system rather than getting adopted. there was a sense of floundering/isolation/not feeling gd enough in tht bt cricket made do the best he knew how. 

that said there were some gd points! (shocking i kno bc his life hs been so fking bleak so far bt please it’s ok........) (is it?) (🤔). basically he interned as an assistant at this local photography studio during high skl working under this kind of whimsical yet endearing old man. suspected wizard possibly in cricket’s eyes, as an avid fantasy genre reader. for one of his bdays said old man / his boss bought him his very own film camera n cricket cried bc he’d never been bought a bday gift. this ws rly embarrassing bc this old man didn’t know how to emote n neither did cricket so he ws jst sort of sat wiping his eyes n sniffling saying he wasn’t crying as the old man pretended to suddenly clean his lenses. when cricket graduated he offered him a full time position there. they do like. wedding photographs n family portraits n all kinds of things...... pay isn’t huge bt it’s something n he Loves taking photos so it’s sexy <3

PERSONALITY:

SUCH an anxious person it’s actually unreal. overthinks absolutely everything he’s ever said. one morning he might hv put green socks on n for the rest of the day he’s nervously looking around like omggggggg they’re all looking at my socks probably thinking im a little green sock boy thinking i’m a fool n a jester this is all everyone’s probably thinking about i hv to hide my green socks..... even tho literally no-one cares

once saw a girl eating a chicken wing n in his head was like ok she likes chicken good future gift idea..... n turned up at her house with an entire rotisserie chicken

probably thinks WAY too hard abt what to write in bday cards n googles like generic ideas that he can use.... u open a card from cricket n it always says smthn weird like “Warmest wishes and love on your birthday and always!” or “You deserve everything happy. Wishing you that all year long!” tht he got off google

nervously fiddles w things a lot. literally anything. his hair. the cuffs of his sleeves. a thread on his bag. u name it

struggles w eye contact sometimes............ it’s like. he wants to talk to ppl n make friends bt he’s honestly so bad at it. he’s fumbling thru life like a nervous headless chicken

ALWAYS has his camera on him. like always. will tke a photo of u bc he thinks u look nice then be like im so sorry im so sorry...... bowing his head shakily holding his camera bc he doesn’t even kno what possessed him he jst thought it’d be a nice photograph bt boundaries exist. probably breathes very heavily over this later in his room panicking thinking he nw seems like hannibal lecter

probably more confident online bc he has time to think abt what he says more.......... i can see him hving a group of online friends tht he’s more confident w. honestly he’s pretty witty at heart he jst has a hard time verbalising things so ppl overlook him sometimes bt once u get to know him more / he’s more comfy he can b a funny little man.....

loves photographs where he cuts something out of them. loves missing spaces n voids. thinks it’s a rly interesting concept when something that isn’t there becomes the focus of a photograph where everything else is. probably loses his mind fr a collage like a front row 1d stan. likes experimenting w light n perception. pretty artistic honestly hs probably made a stop motion film in the past bc that’s just an extended form of photography in his mind bt i doubt he showed anyone

ummm...... very sweet bt like. he reminds me a lot of this quote. “he had the awkward tenderness of someone who has never been loved and is forced to improvise.” feel like tht sums him up quite nicely

WANTED CONNECTIONS

someone he met at a wedding: cricket probably ws forced to photograph a wedding fr his boss one time n it cld b interesting as a place to meet from that....... like. i can imagine either it being rly awkward maybe he accidentally spilled a drink on ur muse n was stuttering rly apologetic n it ws just a train wreck. or mayb they took pity on him or even (in a shocking turn of events) a shine to him n invited him to drink n dance. omgggg the thought of cricket trying to dance makes me wna die n probably mkes cricket wna hyperventilate bt idk maybe he went wild n let loose. mayb they wound up damaging the camera somehow. mayb they had to scramble to get another one n ur muse covered the cost n it was a strange late night excursion tht cricket thought about a lot since. cricket probably vowed to pay them bk somehow no matter what. idk. we can work things out. lots of diff options here. doesn’t have to b a wedding either can b any event tht required a photographer

ppl he went to school w: pretty self explanatory i suppose...... maybe they were frm completely different worlds..... mayb ur muse was popular n cricket was definitely not but they got paired fr an assignment n had to work on a project together....... mayb cricket asked ur muse on a date one time n it was completely embarrassing bc he didn’t realise they had a bf n it haunts cricket at night still bc he’s rly dramatic.... mayb ur muse felt sry fr him n ate lunch w him n inducted him into their group like a lost puppy finding a home.... world’s our oyster

neighbours from his brief time at lilac ridge: not to reference taylor swift but i’m gna reference taylor swift n say we cld do a seven inspired plot here. sighs a little..... then sighs a lot. he was here ages 0-8 so idk. we cld work out childhood plots perhaps....

sickening simp: i mean.............. cricket probably gets crushes on ppl so easily like just. anyone who’s the slightest bit nice to him.................. he’s a disgrace. ok i take it back. bt also please get it together freak............... i didn’t say that. he’d probably b extra nice to this person n try n pay close attention to things they liked so he cld get them little gifts. just a bit embarrassing n lovestruck bless his heart. wldn’t expect anything back tho honestly that just isn’t something he tends to do.

let’s go gays: cricket’s bi but he probably was rly in his head abt liking boys n tried to sort of squash it internally during his younger yrs...... i think he’s more comfy w it now MAYBE idk bt back then i picture him having a friend tht ws kind of like. similarly loserish as him perhaps (no offence to ur muse potentially filling this plot or cricket bt let’s face the facts) n they’d hang out n play games a lot n one time it jst kind of happened n he was like............. *struts in looking around sharply* What going on here? except not. bc it’s cricket. more like *shambles in looking around anxiously* What’s, uh... What’s... the happenings? S--... I’m sorry. (immediate apology for saying what’s the happenings bc nobody talks like that n it was an impulsive panic bc he didn’t know what else to say)

those who grew up in the system w him: maybe at the group home or i’d also like the family that fostered him n said sayonara. honestly i imagine the parents just thought he ws a bit too much of a handful / had too much baggage which is rly quite merciless n terrible but. if u think that aligns w ur muses home situation hmu......

um. can’t think of more bt just anything honestly. jst go wild.......

[simpingforthisonedeer]

Chapter 2: The War Room

Summary:  You'll learn more abt Aika and Julius gets some time in the spotlight and shows off his military genius :)))

Notes:  Like in BC canon, everyone's like omggg hes such an amazing wizard king who brings us so many victories!!! but we never actually see any of his ideas and plans? So i've decided to showcase that in this fic

A week later, Aika hummed a playful tune as she planted a few wisteria trees around the Magic Knights Headquarters. Lord Raymond, the current Wizard King, was planning a stressful military campaign against another imminent invasion from the Diamond Kingdom so Aika planted a few trees for him to enjoy whenever he relaxed in the gardens to get away from work.

Aika had helped Lord Raymond with foreign matters over the years and had grown to become good friends with the older man. It was only by accident that they found that his dead younger brother was Aika’s father. 

Years ago, she was selling paintings her father had painted before he died and in curiosity, Raymond came to the pseudo-art show. When he noticed the artist’s name and signature, he knew it was his brother. Needless to say, Aika was ecstatic. She had lost her entire family at sixteen and finding family again nearly two decades later was like a dream come true.

Though she was his niece, her experience and information from other kingdoms was something Lord Raymond highly valued and since Aika needed a cover for her work. So she worked as an unofficial consultant to him. She would rather not be paid by her own family.

She stood up as she dusted the dirt from her knees. Aika curled her toes to grip and grass and tightly clasped the plant stone in her right palm. She took a deep breath in, spread her arms out towards the little grove and pushed her magic into the seeds and willed them to grow.

She couldn’t grow plants quickly with Time Magic alone because she would have to accelerate the day-night cycle and provide the plants with constant water and nutrition, theoretically speaking. But Plant Magic, on the other hand, doesn’t have such limitations and plants could grow just with magic alone with extra magical properties. Absolutely fascinating stuff.

Aika had noted that Time and Plant magic shared similar properties because during her studies, she had found that magic wasn’t a catalyst in some Plant Mages cases but actually accelerated time while providing all that the plant needed to grow. In other Plant mages’ cases, most notably the ones who grew plants slower, the magic only acts as an accelerant with no time magic in play.

Aika dodged as a clump of hard dirt nearly hit her in the face when the trees sprouted and rose rapidly. She watched with a small smile as the vine-like branches grew and sprouted wisteria flowers that shone in the afternoon sun. She had no doubt that they would glow in the night as well.

“Miss Aika!” her guard’s voice yelled out.

“I’m fine!” she yelled back as she adjusted her sun hat.

“No, Miss Aika,” he ran to her side. “The Wizard King wants you in the Captain’s Conference room immediately.”

“Oh? Did he say what for, Evan?” Aika adjusted her plaid skirt.

“He said it’s time you were brought in,” Evan gave her a knowing look. Aika sighed. Today was going to be a long day. At least this meant that she didn’t have to wear that god-awful amulet that made people forget her.

“Alright, thank you. Take the rest of the day off. I’m sorry I can’t join you, Ellie and Jayce tonight.”

“Yes, ma’am and it’s alright. The trees look really beautiful by the way.”

“Thank you, Evan.”

She turned and looked up at the Headquarters Tower with a squint.

It’s time, huh? Is it really that serious, Uncle Ray? Aika thought as she slipped into her heels.

She slid her backpack on and waved ‘bye’ to her guard as she flew to the arched, slightly open, clover windows of the conference room. She hid her mana and flew a little to the side of the windows and peeked in. 

Her Uncle had his back to her as he faced seven captains. By the way he was gesticulating at Lord Silva, the Silver Eagles Captain, Aika could tell he was getting impatient for some reason. The walls and tables were strewn with papers blotted with inks of various colors. The rest of the Captains were in deep discussion in varying states of distress, no doubt about the upcoming confrontation with the Diamond kingdom.

She looked around at the Captains for one particular one. Her eyes met Julius’ and she grinned openly. She gave him a hesitant wave at the confused tilt of his head. Maybe he forgot her? A few Captains looked her way along with Julius, suspicious of the woman by the window.

Aika quickly sobered as she lightly touched the window. She wasn’t here for him. Maybe she’ll talk to him after whatever her Uncle needed her to do. He had been plaguing her mind for days , like who gave him permission to do that? Maybe another sit down with him will reveal something about him that will annoy her nitpicking self and she will completely stop idealizing him. Yeah, that’s a good idea.

She slipped between the windows and into the room, as quiet as a breeze. All the captains except Julius and Captain Vermillion stood and moved to attack but Lord Raymond whipped his head around and motioned the Captains to stop.

“Why use the window when there is a perfectly serviceable door, Aika?” her Uncle asked in a bored voice.

“Why use the door when there is a perfectly serviceable window, sir?” She retorted as she took off her hat with a flourish. He shook his head with a scoff.

“Enough with the cheek.”

“Yes, sir.”

Aika clasped her hands and clicked her heels together as she turned to the conference table where all the standing Captains sat down slowly, all eyes on her. They all might’ve seen her around the Magic Knights Headquarters, sitting on the floor in the hallways or in the gardens with a bunch of books and papers scattered haphazardly around her or running around with maids and guards but they would’ve all forgotten about her, thanks to her amulet. And she hasn’t been in the Clover Kingdom in a couple years so she doesn’t expect anyone except Captain Vermilion to remember her.

She had always worked behind the scenes on this continent, running her businesses, private clandestine services, professional development, etc, so she had to stay lowkey to protect her identity and her work. But when she needed to continue her work without arousing suspicion and provide information to the next Wizard King, she needed to step up into the spotlight once again, at least until some trust was established. A spy network was incredibly valuable to her Uncle and his agenda to clean up the criminal underworld from the worst of its traits like slavery, forced prostitution, anti-monarchist movements, and apocalyptic cults. 

But Aika herself had personal value for her strategies, diplomacy, connections, and experience in foreign warfare. And so, here she was, her position and identity exposed along with her physique too coincidentally, in the tight, black sweater and thigh length skirt she wore.

The price I pay for trying to feel sexy today.

She was pleased to note Julius’ eyes roving over her with a small smile. She winked when his eyes met hers. He looked away with a small blush. Aika wouldn’t mind working with such delicious eye candy.

“This is Aika Tolliver,” Raymond began as he faced the Captains. “She will help us pinpoint which General will be attacking us this time and where.”

“Who is she, exactly?” The Purple Orcas’ captain asked as she leaned forward, her gray eyes scrutinizing her.

“Her curriculum vitae is irrelevant,” Raymond sat down in his chair with a heavy sigh. “What she knows and what she can do for us is the only thing we’re going to discuss today.”

“Gosh, is he like this all the time?” Aika asked jokingly as she leaned on the table and crossed her arms. While she won’t outright tell them that she was his niece, if he was going to bring her in front of the captains, she was definitely going to have a lot of fun implicating all sorts of things that will leave the captains confused about who she is to the Wizard King. 

“Aika, not the time.”

“Alright, alright,” she set her hat down on his desk with an amused smile and took out a leather-bound notebook and a fountain pen. She looked up at the captains with a mild look.

“Long story short, I’m an off-the-record tactical strategist who helps Lord Raymond every now and then,” Aika looked down and flipped through the pages of her notebook as she continued. “I didn’t want my name to be known for my own privacy and the safety of my assets. That’s why I was never brought in but I assume the situation is dire if Master Raymond wanted to bring me in front of the captains.”

Said captains stayed silent as they processed the vague information. Aika looked apologetically at Julius. For all Julius knew, she lied to him but he shrugged and shook his head with a small smile.

“So what is the issue here?” She quickly skimmed the papers next to her. There were several different combinations of squads that could be dispatched but it was all useless if they didn’t know which general or generals they would be facing. In her opinion, they should bring down the hammer and send out all the squads and end this mess once and for all. “I’ve already told Master Raymond what generals and where and I’ve given him the maps of the location of the fortress their brigades have relocated to. I've also said when. They are going to execute their plan next Saturday.”

“Captain Silva here doesn’t believe me,” Raymond crossed his arms and glared at the silver-haired man.

“Well, now it’s even worse,” Silva slammed his fist on the table. “because your information comes from a dubious source we have never heard of!” he barked, spittle flying as he pointed an accusing finger at Aika. Raymond was about to retort but Aika only hummed thoughtfully at his outraged face. 

She knew Captain Silva and Uncle Raymond had a fierce rivalry because they both had Water Magic, but it should’ve ended when her Uncle became the Magic Emperor. But Captain Silva still seemed to hold a grudge and Aika also knew that he had become severely depressed and irritable after Lady Acier’s death and the stress of this war was really getting to him so she bit back a reflexively cutting remark. She took the diplomatic route instead.

“I definitely understand where you’re coming from but I can assure you that this information is from our spies in the Diamond Kingdom.”

“Lies! We don’t have any spies in the Diamond Kingdom!”

Julius quickly moved to interject when he noticed Aika’s cheek twiched in annoyance. A verbal smackdown like the one he got that night wouldn’t be received well by the proud captain. He saw how easily she shrugged off the pressure he put on her, so he wasn’t taking any chances with an actual confrontation.

“Well, let’s not get hasty,” he addressed the captains gently. He turned to Aika and quickly masked a smile when her face lit up. “Even if we did have spies, the information they’ve given us is wrong. We destroyed the South Fortress last month and Lord Raymond told us that two brigades have relocated to the South Fortress which I assume is the information from our ‘spies.’”

“You assumed correctly, Julius.” His lips twitched up at being addressed so familiarly in front of everyone. “And forgive Master Raymond for not clarifying, he’s just a little sleep-deprived,” she pursed her lips when the captains threw her confused looks at that causal comment. “They’ve moved their operations in the former South Fortress to a black site previously used for human experimentation and other R&D.”

Silence fell over them. Human experiments. While the captains were aware, being reminded of what they had read in the reports of said experiments sickened them. 

Aika quietly flipped through her notebook.

“Here it says that Generals Hennequin and Allard have mobilized their forces into the black site, now called the South Fortress.”

“And how can we know for sure,” Julius began mutely. “That what you are saying is true?”

“I’ve been working for the Wizard King for years, providing him with information regarding foreign matters—”

“And don’t forget about unsolicited advice on domestic ones,” Her Uncle’s muffled voice quipped, unaffected by the mention of human experiments. She threw a mocking glare at his head which was now buried in his arms.

“And most of the information I was given was accurate and useful. We take very good care of our assets so malicious betrayal and misinformation is incredibly rare. I can assure you that this information is accurate.”

Julius and the other briefly scrutinized her for any tells that she was lying and were satisfied that they didn’t find any. While they believed her, they were still wary. Aika sighed.

“Now, if we’re done discussing whether facts are actually facts, let’s get back to the planning. We can’t agree on what squads to send,” Raymond groused as he pushed maps of movements that a trio of squads will follow towards Aika. Each map was a different combination of 3 squads and movements and attack sequences. It was all on the surface. But Aika left her Uncle notes in his folder last night about new intel. The two Diamond generals purchased rights to build exclusive tunnels to the Main Channels from the black site which was underground, the Main Channels that lead directly into the Common Realm in the Clover Kingdom.

Aika suppressed the fear that struck her heart and turned to glare at her Uncle for real this time. He didn’t look at the notes she had left and now he was making completely wrong moves. The wrong moves that would cost many civilian lives.

“Master Raymond,” she nearly growled. “I assume you haven’t looked at the new intel and notes I left last night?”

He glared back.

“What new intel?”

“New intel saying that the Diamond Generals bought rights to tunnel into the Main Channels from the black site.”

“What?!”

She sifted through his papers and found the thin folder and showed him the notes and explained the situation.

“So there would most likely be a fight on the surface for a distraction while they invade us through the tunnels, meaning more than two brigades will attack us.”

Aika nodded gravely.

“I’m sorry, what are these tunnels and channels you’re talking about?” The captain of the Praying Mantis, Marcus, asked. A few others nodded, confused as well.

Captain Vermillion cleared his throat to draw attention to him. He sat up straight and his deep voice rang clearly through the room,

“They are talking about The Innkeeper’s Tunnels. The Innkeeper is a neutral, underground organization that provides safe houses indiscriminately. And in order to get to the safe houses, the Innkeeper had built a tunnel system. This tunnel system was built centuries ago and today it’s also used for underground travel, trade, and the black market, across the continent. It is the only way we trade for magic gems with the Diamond Kingdom because of the current hostilities,” He turned to Aika. “I don’t believe The Innkeeper would allow them to send brigades through the tunnels.”

Aika masked her surprise that he even addressed her. He had completely and deliberately cut her off after she broke up with one of his children and now he was talking to her all of a sudden?

Despite his surprising behavior, Aika agreed with his explanation. She remembered when she tailed him on his frequent missions to the criminal underworld so he knew what he was talking about.

“I agree, The Innkeeper wouldn’t allow them, but they have no real means to stop them. They don’t have a private army and the magical barriers won’t hold against two whole brigades.”

“Then they will call in a favor.”

“From who?”

Captain Vermillion leveled his gaze at her.

“From you.”

“No,” Aika said with absolute finality. He raised an eyebrow as she bristled. 

“‘No, they won’t ask,’ or ‘No, you won’t do it?’” He knew she wouldn’t and did he really need to bring up her past here?

“No to both, Leonardo,” Raymond cut in with a scowl and changed the topic. “We need to be ready to face them under and over, and that means all squads need to roll out.”

“Actually,” Julius interjected. “We should leak the information that we know,” he suggested. The captains turned to Julius, not surprised by his unorthodox idea. He may be the youngest of the captains at the table at nearly thirty-six years old, but he was also the smartest and the strongest. His unexpectedly brilliant ideas and the strategic way he built his squad left no doubt that he would be a great military leader as The Magic Emperor.

“Why would we do that?” Captain Silva asked as he pressed his fingers to his temples, knowing full well that there was a good explanation coming.

“Because this plan to use the underground tunnels would only work if we are unaware. If they know that we know, and that we would come prepared to the tunnels, they will change their plans. They will think that their element of surprise and lack of resistance is gone, so their chances of winning decreased. And since they don’t know that we leaked it, they would think that we put our squads underground for their ‘attack.’ So they will put their troops on land or air to take us on.”

“But instead,” Aika began quietly as his idea became clear. “we will be prepared to attack with the full weight of our army above ground and overwhelm them completely, giving us a chance to negotiate a ceasefire.”

“No,” Julius laced his fingers together with a cool expression. “We demand a surrender.”

Notes:  Julius is lowkey scary in canon and i plan to show more of that in this fic. The end was just a lil taste, but in battle? oooooh I can't wait to write ruthless Julius ;))))

oh and yall should read the hashtags in the posts. There’s info abt next chap in them:)

[sebastianshaw]

🙌

Okay since you were the only one who sent it in, you get a TON! ACTUAL CANON

Okay you read Excalibur in the 80s, you remember how poor Courtney Ross got killed and replaced by her evil alternate-reality counterpart Sat-Yr-9 who takes on her identity and just...gets away with it? She turns up in the early 2000s as the new White Queen of the Hellfire Club, and she recruits Viper as her bodyguard that she calls her “White Warrior Princess”...which has never been a rank in the Hellfire Club before or after but Shaw doesn’t fight her on it. I mean, would you? Viper and Courtney were def evil girlfriends, because Claremont was writing it, and for the short time this Inner Circle was in place, they worked very well with Shaw. It’s my favorite Inner Circle lineup besides the classic 80s one. I’ve yet to ever bring them up in anything but I’d like to. 

Red Lotus aka Paul Hark is an interesting figure. He worked as an agent of the Hellfire Club under Viper and Courtney, yet before that, he was trying to kill Shaw---the Black King of the same Inner Circle he’s working for---because Shaw was responsible for the death of his crime lord grandfather. Which resulted in the REALLY homoerotic fight that I’ve reblogged so many times. I always wonder, Paul knew he was working for the Hellfire Club but did he know he was working for Shaw? Was he using it as a way to get close to Shaw again so he could finally succeed in killing him? If that was his plan, were Courtney and Viper aware of it? We just don’t know and I’d really like to! I super duper hateship him and Shaw, and I’ve done a bit of ART and FIC around that, but would like to give him more attention.

Emmanuel Da Costa is like...the last friend that Shaw ever makes in canon. He’s Sunspot’s father, but that actually has NOTHING to do with Shaw’s interest in him. Emmanuel was born extremely poor but because extremely wealthy through sheer business genius and hard work, it’s easy to see why Shaw would feel admiration and kinship for him. And Shaw wants him as the Black Bishop of the Hellfire Club---Shaw’s own former position before becoming Black King---really badly, like HE has to work to win over Emmanuel by doing elaborate and illegal supevillain favors for him. And again, he doesn’t want Emmanuel to get at his mutant son, or for any other scheme, he just...wants him there. Because he obviously feels Emmanuel deserves it, that he earns it the same way Shaw does, and Shaw REALLY GOES ALL OUT trying to get Emmanuel to accept, which is SO ODD for someone who sees it obviously as a reward/privilege. And he never has any kind of conflict with Emmanuel like he does with a lot of men, he gets on with him very well, much like he did with Harry Leland. And...well, you know my theories about him and Harry Leland. And speaking of that...he and Emmanuel had an orgy together. Emmanuel ordered them a bunch of prostitutes to fuck together. I’m not even extrapolating THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS.

Okay so Manon and Maxime are a pair of creepy mutant twins who are from a Bad Alternate Future and were made into Hounds by Ahab. They were rescued from the X-Men and now live on Krakoa but still have a lot of issues around consent and boundaries regarding appropriate use of their psychic powers and I have A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT THEM and in one issue of New Mutants, they come to SHAW of all people to tell him UM WE PISSED OFF A CARTEL and Shaw goes and handles it.  And I’m just like, out of all the adults on this island, many of whom are teachers and/or superheroes, some of whom they have a personal connection with/who rescued them, THEY PICKED THIS GUY?!

THIS GUY?!

Like I think it’s probably symptomatic of their abuse/exploitation by a cruel older man in the past that they apparently seek Shaw out for help and seem to want to please him (they really seem to want to please/help adults in general and I think that’s also from their abuse) but like, I like to imagine now these little shits are just getting into Blackstone ALL THE TIME and following him around like creepy ducklings and the only reason he doesn’t throttle them is because they can pacify him with said psychic powers and then make a speedy getaway...only to come back again soon enough to bother him 8) CAN THEY HELP YOU MR SHAW THEY WANT TO HELP!!!

BLOG CANON

My girl Mindmeld! Her canon history is she was Shinobi’s bodyguard that he betrayed and abandoned, so my blog canon is that as of her resurrection on Krakoa, she’s living at Blackstone and pretending to fuck Sebastian to get back at Shin. She may or may not ACTUALLY be fucking him

Black Mamba aka Tanya Sealy aka “Tanya Sweet” is a minor villain I’m really fond of! When she’s not one of the Serpent Society mercenaries, she’s a professional escort who is also trying to get a modeling career off the ground and like...I just love that? I’m also really fond of the Serpent Society in general, so I write Shaw as employing them on occasion for their merc servies (as he probably also does Mindmeld) and has probably also purchased Tanya’s other services as a sex worker too. But she gets frustrated because he’s just...so cold and wants no engagement with her, and a lot of what she enjoys about escorting (in my headcanon) is performing a character and simulating a relationship with a client, because in canon she sees romance and sex as very important, and I think she sees herself as providing something really valuable to lonely people and Shaw just...Shaw is not a guy who pays for a relationship. He pays to AVOID a relationship. He’s the guy who isn’t paying for an escort to stay, he’s paying for her to LEAVE, and Tanya is just like...damn dude the money is good but why are you even hiring someone in my price range just buy a fleshlight if this is all you want???

Skein aka Sybil Dvorak, another low-level Marvel villain I adore. She’s technically a telekinetic but because she can “feel” what she uses her powers on, she refuses to use it on hard stuff like metal, which is painful for her, and instead only manipulates soft things---feather, fur, and, most of all, fabric---which she is OBSESSED with. Her MO as a bad guy for a time was literally just giving people drugs so they would steal lots of soft things for her! Seriously! Her other MOs have included jealousy (attacking high society parties she thought her boyfriend might be at), sex (she “goes straight” for a time and joins the Thunderbolts purely out of a chance at getting to find out what it’s like to have sex with a superhero), getting to be a movie star, and just plain thrill-seeking.  Since she loves soft things so much, I sincerely doubt she’s into a hardbody like Shaw, but you know what I bet she DOES love? All the soft stuff he OWNS. Like god his bedroom ALONE must just be a TREASURE TROVE of wonderful plush textures! So I like to think she’s just always coming in and trying to take all his soft stuff. I also lowkey hc her with a crush on Haven bc like. SO SOFT.

[advernia]

moved this over to a text post, hope u don’t mind anon! ( ᐛ )و

ANYWAY EEEEEE THANK YOU AND I’D BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO SHARE!!!! o(*≧□≦)o tbh this headcanon is me 100% refusing to accept that post-route!alice just stays in red/black army hq as a… uh, maid??? cook??? cheerleader??? idk lmao but imo alice has a lot of potential with her canon profession lolol! okay so maybe they did her justice in kyle’s route bc she ends up as his assistant but as for other routes fight me cybird (ง •̀_•́)ง

context side a

i got the idea after reading fenrir’s dramatic end, where alice gets a job in cradle’s best confectionery (like wow lmao if only getting a job was that fast irl). anyway!!! i’d like to dream that alice does this for all routes + a month after the route events (sans kyle’s). you’d think she doesn’t need to get a job especially if her ikeman’s part of the red army, but she does this bc she wants to. and to feel less like a freeloader lmao. since the situation’s different with the neutrals, this isn’t much of an issue.

so, yay! she feels better about passing time productively + having her own lin to spend but tbh she doesn’t really buy much stuff???? eventually she saves up quite the amount that it becomes a problem - what could/should she do with that much cash????

tbh the idea to start her own business came from her boss lol…. it started from his objective assessment that she was good enough to open her own shop… eventually she starts entertaining the idea…. then she gets second opinions from friends + ikeman…. and she actually does it after much consideration?!??! her boss is shook, but he wishes her well anyway! he gets a free slice of cake whenever he visits the cafe lol!

so alice ends up with a cafe! since confectioneries were more on selling than service + she’s on her own now & has a lot of stuff to handle on her own, she becomes pretty busy and takes some time to adjust, but eventually she gets by! it’s tiring, but she enjoys her every day!

any of her extra profits she chooses to donate to various causes + she eventually ends up becoming some sort of sponsor to the armies with all her donations HELLA RAD ೕ(•̀ᴗ•́)

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alternatively, in a common route scenario where amon still gets his ass kicked + alice stays in cradle but doesn’t fall in love with that one ikeman (no one falls in love…. not yet LMAO), she lives with the black/red army + works in a confectionery until she has enough to buy a home of her own. blanc + oliver + mousse have been secretly helping her scout around for a good place. it’s only when everything’s ready that she talks to the black/red army about her intentions.

get this - her general explanation goes this way: she starts off by saying that she’s very thankful that everyone has accommodated her and she’ll always be in their debt, but now that she’s living as an actual resident of cradle and no longer just a guest, she’d hate to impose on them any further. to boot, she’s not even an official part of the army + a soldier, so it may look odd that she’s still staying within army hq. stuff about reputation and pride, something like that.

the black army (see: seth) is sad about this, but they understand her sentiments and let her go. after a three-day long party. aaaaand of course, they’re more than willing to do any heavy lifting for her move + just anything in general - all she needed to do was ask!

the red army respects her decision as well, and they’re… more subtle in expressing their disappointment (how is jonah’s blatant frown even subtle lol). like the black army, they let her go + remind her that she can always ask them for help. 

so alice lives alone for a couple of months.... then the armies hear that she’s planning to open a cafe from blanc.... ha.... the black army totally helps her out with general recontrustion + repairs. she does not take no for an answer when she pays them for their work lmao. plus, they totally helped her out by giving her tours around the stalls on the central quarter market that give the best bargains + freshest produce! the flowers alice put up for decoration + plant outside her yard are always sponsored by canis major..... and seth drops by regularly to talk about trending aesthetics alice could adapt in the cafe!

the red army’s idea of helping her out with her cafe is to send her furniture + kitchen appliances + sets of tableware.... they’re gorgeous + simple but UMMMM????? alice literally panics about the kitchen, especially about the stove + oven bc it be so fine.... and expensive-looking.... but negotiating with lancelot + jonah is like talking to a brick + diamond wall so edgar + kyle + zero convince her to just take it lmao - it isn’t much, but lancelot gets a free drink & jonah a free mille-feuille each time they visit!

again: she donates to various causes + sends the black/red army a fair amount of her extra profits each month! she’d give more to the red army bc she still can’t get over their....... generous gifts and how much they probably cost lmao....... edgar stops her there though bc honestly..... do u think the red army needs more money??????????

the cafe

so why in central of all places? actually, it does make sense to set up a business there since it’s like the country’s central business district. but if i’d base it from alice’s general personality, i think she’d choose central bc that’s where every citizen of cradle; whether they be from red, black, or neutral territory, all gather together. in central, she can see every side living side cradle, not just red or black - and in a simple establishment like a cafe, something simple like food can bring all those different sides together.

she set up her cafe in central with the thought of helping in the efforts of bridging the gap between the armies + to have an actual experience of how it is to live as a citizen of cradle. technically she is one already, but sometimes living in cradle is really so different from living in london. it makes her feel displaced sometimes.

her cafe is probably somewhere close to blanc’s house or smth and u bet that blanc is very happy to have a pretty lady living close by/around his neighborhood lmao! but if you want to be serious about it, this is intentional on blanc’s part bc her safety isn’t exactly assured after the magic tower fiasco - disciple stragglers might come back for her, and since the whole of cradle already knows that she’s the alice the second, there may be other people/groups lurking around that are interested in her power......

in comparison to most cafes in central, alice’s place is relatively small - she doesn’t mind though, since she’s running the place on her own. the thought of expanding makes her doubt her capability of providing + distributing the same quality of service + attention she usually gives to a small crowd.

alice changes the cafe decors + scents according to each season!!! in general, she wants her cafe to have a homey, relaxing feel, doing her best to impart a feel of london + her hometown in her cafe. you’d think that seasonal redecorating would be a hassle, but magic makes that process very easy... once she learns about cradle’s unique holidays + festivals, she also redecorates + tweaks her menu in tune to the special day!

a variety of sandwiches + light meals such as pastas are on the menu now and then, but her cafe is well-known for the desserts. like the decor, the food + drink selection adjusts accordingly to the season.

her edge among her competitors is the fact that she’s from the land of reason - her techniques + use/handling of ingredients + and other assorted methods are quite different from that practiced in cradle since they have the advantage of magic. tastes, colors, textures, and even presentation end up differently. plus, she knows how to make various foods + sweets unfamiliar to cradle, so some of the stuff she makes are seen as novelty to the locals!

she does pay attention to what tastes of london are positively + negatively recepted in cradle though - from there she experiments or improvises her recipes, and seeks out feedback immediately.

following context side b, i’m all in for the romance with her ikeman developing here instead OH YEAAAH ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) it’s a lot more hectic tho since it’s an open playground and there are the.... common interferences..... coughsethcoughlokicough LMAO

also!!! following all the not-so-spoilery content of her + seth, i’ve recently been digging the idea of nojisha / rapunzel (localization ain’t being subtle anymore lol) working + possibly living in alice’s cafe too bc god knows that alice needs an actual girl friend among all that testosterone lmao!

rapunzel’s more of a waitress but is totally into designing whatever cakes + drinks + pastries alice has on the menu and on display… takes dibs in writing out the menu on the chalkboard as her chance to practice some pretty lettering… and also actively helps out alice in picking seasonal decors + packaging for the cafe!

on the sidelines rapunzel also keeps a close eye on alice bc… heh… them odd folks coming in for the foods but staying longer for the girl(s)… those red army officers dropping by more often even if they’re on patrol…. dudes from the civic center + other colorful characters talking so familiarly to alice…. yaaa~n! pick up the pace, onii-chan!!! lmao

depending on who’s the ikeman out for alice, rapunzel can and will cockblock, omfg...... she’ll totally stop if she sees that alice has mutual feelings for the guy but sometimes rapunzel really has impeccable, unintentional timing haha... seth hyde, what have u been teaching ur little sister smh (ಡ艸ಡ)

opening time: 6AM, closing: 7PM. accepts orders of wedding + birthday cakes, does not handle catering. for any inquiries, pls call....... (^ц^ )

other

alice’s cafe develops different reputations depending on who she ends up with LMAO........ local newspapers + cradle’s grapevine love her cafe and totally not bc they can get a glimpse of the red/black army chosen if they get their timing right haHA..... here’s a couple of examples:

if she’s with mousse, her cafe has quite the interesting reputation! while there’s a good selection of the local teas/coffees in her menu, there’s also a fair share of exotic blends with brief details about the country where the blend is from + how the beverage is prepared + possible tastes, written by no other than mousse himself! sometimes alice showcases some limited edition sweets + pastries made from an interesting mix of local and foreign ingredients + spices too......

if she ends up with a king, novels/tales + plays + songs/poems about royalty/nobility falling for the common worker (lancelot) or adventures of a hero and a maiden (ray) suddenly become a thing™….. the boom is especially huge in black/red territory, be it from nobles to commoners.... another common point??? there’s always a cafe referenced in there, a rendezvous point some way or another in the story… and it sounds veeeeery familiar, even if they switch the setting into a tavern/inn, hmmmm....

did you know that one cafe in central quarter is owned by alice the second, the woman who’s rumored to be the lover of cradle’s most notorious criminal + strongest wizard???? no???? are they really a thing??? do you think the stuff she sells in her cafe is fit is for consumption???? does she make those cakes herself or does she ask the wizard to make it through dark magic or are those smuggled goods??????? man, those cakes are damn good though!!!!!

newspaper headlines: students of cradle’s local boarding school promptly create a literal lake of tears in the central quarter after spending time and meeting a kind cafe owner who happens to really be their terror professor’s lover (side note: this article was removed upon the request of a certain mr. d.)

the sole exemption i have for this hc is kyle’s alice! she has her hands full + committing herself to being a doctor’s assistant so opening a cafe doesn’t cross her mind, but that doesn’t stop her from making treats now and then for their patients… in fact, becomes a thing among the children of cradle that if you be a good boy/girl who takes their medicine + shots from the redhead doctor without complaining, the pretty assistant lady will give you a tasty treat for being so well-behaved! (*≧▽≦)

[inspired-by-the-music]

The Dance: Jongin x Reader

Requests are encouraged! Please read the guidelines before submitting your request!

Genre: angsty; happy ending; kind of a crack au at the end bc it gets a little chaotic lol; featuring ot9

Word Count: 2,756

You didn’t know how to react when Jongin invited you to go ballroom dancing with Taemin and his girlfriend. Initially, you were surprised because of how intimate that date sounded, especially when compared to your infrequent unofficial lunch and movie dates. And because you weren’t officially dating, all you could think was that if you didn’t commit to the date, he would ask somebody else; and that fear of being replaced prompted you to agree to go.

It wasn’t until later that you realized a glaring problem: you couldn’t dance. Frankly, you weren’t comfortable doing the Cha Cha Slide, let alone performing an elegant ballroom dance– especially with an amazing dancer like Jongin as your partner and his equally talented best friend watching nearby.

Finding yourself in need of positive redirection, you texted one of your best friends for advice.

And as ridiculous as it sounded, you really believed that Yixing was going to appear and make all of your problems go away by teaching you how to dance. But after a few days passed without another word from him, you were forced to create another plan, so you talked to your friend Sonae– a choreographer– and she agreed to teach you the basics as long as you brought a partner.

You had to bring someone roughly Jongin’s size; your partner should require less training than you; and, most importantly, Sonae said, “Don’t bring Baekhyun if you’re sure you want to keep things quiet.”

As much as you loved Baekhyun and wanted to trust him with your secrets, you knew that he had a big mouth, so you didn’t argue with any of Sonae’s specifications. Her guidelines left you with only one person to ask for help.

“Give me one good reason why I should learn about ballroom dancing,” Sehun challenged when you asked him for help over lunch.

“You mean you need a reason other than helping me? And aside from the fact that I’m gonna pay for your lunch?” You rolled your eyes when Sehun nodded, and you took the opportunity to tease him. “My dancer friend, Sonae, is gonna teach us. Don’t you have the hots for her or something?”

“Don’t say ‘the hots.’ It makes you sound like Junmyeon,” Sehun’s voice was even despite the blush reddening even the tips of his ears. “And yeah, I think she’s a cute girl.”

“Well, she has a thing for dancers who help their friends,” you hummed before sipping your water.

The cogs were turning in Sehun’s mind. His eyebrows knit together as he asked, “Do you think she might go out with me if I go to your little dance practices?”

You happened to know that Sehun had to do very little to impress Sonae since she had been crushing on him for months. Rather than telling him outright, you just shrugged. “I dunno, maybe. No girl thinks less of a guy for being helpful.”

Perhaps recognizing that you were being manipulative, Sehun groaned, but he agreed, “Ugh, fine.” And he picked at his food for a while before saying, “But Jongin better not get mad at me. I hate how he acts when he’s jealous, and I don’t want him trying to fight me.”

“When have you ever known Jongin to be a fighter?” You laughed at the unrealistic image of the guy you had always known to be gentle having an altercation with anybody.

You couldn’t hear Sehun as he grumbled, “I guess you have no idea how much he likes you.”

And neither of you had any idea how sensual your dance would become. As if to test your obedience, Sonae kept assigning risque dance moves, each more erotic than the last.

While you glared at her, reluctant to touch Sehun even for the sake of a dance, Sehun complied with every order, no doubt, to impress Sonae. Finally fed up with the dance and how Sehun insisted upon making eye contact with your friend while holding you against his body, you said, “Okay– cut it out. How is this even ballroom dancing?”

Sonae giggled, “Don’t be so stiff, Y/N, art is supposed to be passionate.”

“Yeah,” Sehun teased. He tore his eyes away from her to look you in the eyes as he jested, “Just pretend I’m Jongin.”

And that only made your pulse quicken as you seethed, “You’re both disgusting.”

Just as you relaxed enough to resume practicing the most recent additions to the dance, Minseok and Baekhyun entered the room in a fit of giggles. Baekhyun said something along the lines of, “I wonder why Chanyeol was trying so hard to keep us out of here,” and their laughter quickly faded as they adjusted to the sight before them: you and Sehun pressed against one another.

While Minseok stuttered, “Um– I’m just here to get my snacks… I left them here earlier…” Baekhyun released a low whistle.

“Ya know, Y/N,” Baekhyun said, “I’m hurt that you didn’t tell me that you’ve moved on to Sehun.”

“I haven’t,” you corrected once you recovered from your shock and shrugged out of Sehun’s grasp. And when Baekhyun, Minseok, and even Sonae looked at you skeptically, you repeated more emphatically, “I haven’t!”

Sehun explained matter-of-factly, “I’m just helping her learn to ballroom dance for some date with Jongin.”

And as you swatted Sehun for casually declaring your personal business, Baekhyun clicked his tongue. “Man, ballroom dancing sure looks a lot different in person.”

“That’s pretty much exactly what I just said to these two!” You gestured to Sehun and Sonae and asked, “Why am I learning the sluttiest dance ever?”

Baekhyun answered, “So you can impress Jongin with your moves, obviously.”

Reddening once more, you rolled your eyes. “All of you are perverts except Minseok.” And following that humiliation of being caught dancing with Sehun, you prayed that nobody else would find out about your secret dance lessons.

Just a few nights later, Baekhyun woke you with a text.

 You couldn’t foresee how Baekhyun’s late-night messages related to your dance classes until the next morning when you and Sonae arrived at the studio just in time to hear Chanyeol declare in a booming voice, “Jongin and Y/N aren’t official, so Sehun can like her if he wants! Jongdae does, and nobody says anything!”

 Excluding Sehun, whose eyes were trained on his dead phone screen, all of the members of EXO gawked at you as you walked through the door. Even Jongin, who sat, sulking, stared at you with widened eyes. 

 Petrified by the tension in the room, you decided, “I’ll just come back later.”

 Junmyeon said, “Actually, Y/N, maybe you should stay. We’re kind of here because of you, I think.”

 Despite Junmyeon’s pleading, you tried to leave, and you might have succeeded if your friend hadn’t blocked the door and gently pushed you into the room. And while she practically skipped to sit between Sehun and Minseok, while she took some of the latter’s popcorn and stuffed it into her mouth, you reluctantly claimed the small space between Baekhyun and Kyungsoo. 

 You only avoided sitting by Jongin because you were too intimidated by his pout. However, you regretted your decision almost immediately when Kyungsoo glared at you and asked, “Did you show up to meet Sehun for one of your secret rendezvous?”

 "Excuse me?“ You gasped. But when Kyungsoo ignored you, you turned your attention to Junmyeon. Your gaze shifted between him and the eerily silent Sehun as you asked, "What’s going on?”

 "That’s what I’m trying to figure out,“ Junmyeon replied, his eyebrows gathering in confusion. "Last night, I found Jongin and Sehun pushing each other around in the kitchen.”

 "What?“ Sensing that you wouldn’t receive any reason from Sehun, you glanced at Jongin, who seemed determined to look at anything but you. "Why?”

 Kyungsoo snapped, “By now we all know you were sneaking around with Sehun, so you can stop acting oblivious!”

 "Don’t yell at her,“ Jongin ordered, but he still didn’t look at you as he spoke. 

 Unnerved by the conflict, Minseok squeaked through a mouthful of popcorn, "I really think this is a misunderstanding.”

 "Don’t be naive,“ Kyungsoo scolded before Minseok had even finished his sentence. He narrowed his eyes at the maknae as he claimed, "If this was a misunderstanding, Sehun would have denied it by now. All he’s done is complain about Junmyeon stealing his phone charger." 

 Provoked by Kyungsoo’s aggression, Sehun spoke at last. "If my phone charged at all last night, I could have told Y/N not to show up–”

 Jongdae interrupted to ask calmly– no, curiously– “But why were you meeting at all?”

 Having adopted the role of Sehun’s defender, Chanyeol crossed his arms and demanded, “Why does it matter? Even if Sehun wanted to make out in the studio–”

 "Hey, seriously, guys,“ Junmyeon sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "don’t misuse the agency’s facilities. Make out in your cars. Or in the dorm– but only if I’m not home.”

 While you hid your face in your hands because you were mortified by the conversation,  Jongdae glanced from you to Sehun and wondered aloud, “Wait, so were you meeting to make out?”

 And Chanyeol began his speech once more: “They can if they want to–”

 But Sehun interrupted to ask, “Chanyeol, do you really think I’d cheat with Jongin’s girl– regardless of whether they’re official or not?”

 Chanyeol answered quietly as if he were trying to conceal his words from the rest of the group. “Dude, what was I supposed to think when I saw you dancing together like that?”

 "So you thought I was cheating? And you covered up for me?“ You removed your hands from your face to watch Sehun’s eyebrows lower with each word. 

 "Well, duh,” Chanyeol nodded, “wouldn’t you do the same for me?”

 Sehun ground his fist into the studio floor. “Of course not! If I thought you were a filthy cheater, I would tell everyone how disgusting you are!”

 "Anyway,“ Junmyeon cut in gently, "Sehun, if you weren’t having an affair, why were you secretly meeting Y/N?”

 Before Sehun could answer, Kyungsoo spat, “Don’t tell me you don’t believe they were up to something!”

 Rather than assert his innocence, Sehun leaned forward and yelled, “Why the hell do you care so much, kiwi head? If I say it was an innocent meeting between friends, that should be enough for you!”

 Bewildered, Kyungsoo repeated the insult, “Kiwi head?” But he quickly shook his head and explained, “I care so much because Jongin really likes Y/N. He likes her enough to ask me to write this.”

 As if he had been waiting for the perfect opportunity to do so, Kyungsoo yanked a manuscript out of his backpack and tossed it into the center of the circle where everyone sat. 

 Baekhyun, who had been miraculously quiet, supporting you only by keeping an arm wrapped around you, reached for the papers and asked, “What’s this?”

 "Jongin’s confession,“ Kyunsoo answered. 

 Jongdae eyed Jongin before shaking his head. "You had Kyungsoo write your confession? That should come from the heart!”

 Jongin broke his silence to argue, “I didn’t ask him to write that! I just asked for advice on how to make things official with Y/N!”

 And while Kyungsoo– offended by Jongin’s rejection of his handwritten confession– reached over you to snatch his work from Baekhyun’s hands, Sehun asked, “Okay, so why am I in trouble for allegedly liking Y/N– when I really, seriously, definitely don’t– while Jongdae is openly lusting after her?”

 You weren’t even allowed time to process Jongdae’s recently revealed interest in you before Jongin replied stiffly, “I already knew Jongdae likes her, and I can’t control that. And it doesn’t bother me because he hasn’t touched her–”

 Unbeknownst to Jongin, Jongdae leaned across Baekhyun’s lap to simply poke your knee and smile before he was shoved away by Baekhyun’s karate chops. 

 "It doesn’t matter whether we’re official or not. And it doesn’t matter what your intentions were. It hurt me to watch you dance with her like that when I haven’t yet.“

 Sehun frowned at Jongin’s heartfelt explanation, but he still didn’t say that he was only trying to help you learn how to dance, so you spoke up. 

 You forced yourself to look at Jongin as you said, "I was just trying to learn how to dance for our date, and I was too embarrassed to ask you for help. I’m sorry I hurt you– I didn’t mean to.”

 Jongin met your eyes, and you breathed a sigh of relief, but he stole your breath again when he skeptically said, “That didn’t look like any ballroom dancing I’ve ever seen, Y/N.”

 His reluctance to believe you even when you told the truth caused a frown to pull at your lips, and you were certain that Baekhyun could hear you wheeze at the sudden heartache. 

 That was why, you assumed, Baekhyun tried to lighten the mood with a stupid joke. He pointed at Sehun and barked, “Yeah! You shouldn’t have been grinding on Y/N!”

 "Grinding?“ Jongdae and Jongin repeated, although in entirely different tones. 

 Minseok turned to Sonae and remarked, "I don’t remember any grinding.”

 Junmyeon sighed once more. “There better not have been any grinding!”

 And nobody seemed convinced by your laughing denial that any grinding occurred, but that didn’t prevent you and Baekhyun from inappropriately laughing at the situation. 

 "I don’t know what to believe,“ Jongdae said, pressing his lips into a thin line, and he suggested, "I think you should show me the dance.”

 "Yah!“ Kyungsoo yelled and threw the cap to his water bottle at Jongdae. "Try to control your lust for Y/N– it’s disgusting!”

 Sonae finally admitted, “It’s my fault that the dance turned out so slutty.” Everyone must have forgotten she was there because suddenly all eyes were on her and the room was uncomfortably quiet. She continued, “I thought Sehun had a thing for Y/N, and I was trying to see how much he liked her. I didn’t expect him to actually do all that choreography.”

 While you glared at Sonae and considered throwing Kyunsoo’s empty water bottle at her, Sehun declared, “Well, the way I see it, I’m the real victim here!” And after the ensuing outrage died down, Sehun elaborated, “All of you accused me of being a cheater, Jongin pushed me and hurt my feelings, my phone is dead because Junmyeon stole my charger, I was tricked into dancing like a slut with Y/N, and all because I wanted to impress her friend!”

 And although Sehun was embarrassed about admitting to his crush, the energy in the room changed instantly as Jongin anti-climactically said, “Oh.”

 After a few minutes passed in awkward silence, Junmyeon said, “Anyway– I guess that means matters are resolved? And everyone owes everyone an apology– except you, Minseok, you’re an angel– keep doing what you’re doing.”

 As everyone mumbled their apologies, Baekhyun demanded, “Yah! What did I do wrong?”

 "You lied and said Sehun was grinding on Y/N which embarrassed her, hurt Jongin, tarnished Sehun’s reputation, encouraged Jongdae’s inappropriate infatuation, and ruined my brain a little bit,“ Junmyeon explained flatly. 

 Before Baekhyun could argue, Yixing walked into the studio. Judging from the luggage he was carrying, Yixing arrived straight from the airport. "Oh, hey guys,” he smiled at the other members of EXO before asking you, “Are you ready to dance?”

 "What are you doing here?“ Minseok asked before throwing his arms around Yixing. 

 "Y/N said she needed to learn ballroom dancing.”

 Sehun asked, “So you dropped everything and flew all the way here?” He laughed although he didn’t look very amused, and he said to Jongin, “I swear, I’m the only person here who doesn’t seem to like Y/N too much, yet I was almost burned at the stake!”

BONUS SCENE:

 Sometime after Kyungsoo formally apologized once more for how he spoke to you, and after you and Jongin agreed that it would be best to start dating exclusively, Yixing encouraged you and Sehun to dance. 

 "Show me what you learned so I know where to begin,“ he instructed warmly. 

 After receiving Jongin’s blessing, Sonae played the song on her phone and counted for you to begin. 

 And despite Junmyeon’s laughter, Kyungsoo’s polite applause, Minseok’s light giggles, Chanyeol’s booming claps, Baekhyun’s whistling, Jongin’s quiet cheers, and Jongdae’s not-so-quiet cheers, Yixing ended the dance prematurely. 

 Midway through, he begged, "Please, God, save my eyes! Y/N, forget everything you’ve learned!" 

 But you noticed Jongin mouth, "Don’t forget.”

[charismastaticarchive]

HC: dr. maruki takuto | mental health practioner representation

when i first finished persona 5 royal, i had the thought to myself that the game was almost comically anti-therapy. here is the one of the only pieces of media i have ever seen with an active, important counselor character, and.... to be honest, to begin with, it honestly feels like his social link is more you (a high school student) counseling HIM about his academic research paper. couple that with him ‘just wanting everyone to be happy and ignore reality’ and his boss fight where, instead of talking him down (bc who needs to talk about their problems, right), u fight him literally just fist fighting ur therapist in a denny’s parking lot basically (paralleling the fight with jose the actualization eggboy where instead of talking to jose about his feelings, u fight so u can both ‘vent your frustrations’), it seemed clear to me that SOMEBODY on the team had a problem with their therapist, or their guidance counselor, or both, and they had no intention of showing mental health practioners in a positive light

but then. i remembered something. while therapy CAN be a healing experience----therapists are still fallible people with personal problems, that make bad ethical calls that negatively effect their clients all the time. they are given a position of authority over another person’s very mental state, their thoughts and feelings, and their job to their client is to treat their innermost desires and feelings with not just care and kindness---but a clinical, ethical, standard-practice tried-and-true treatment. and the reality of mental health practices is that it is a constantly evolving field in which fallible mental health practioners with busy lives outside of their clients can fall prey to pop psych theories and their own emotions and experiences instead of doing their actual job, maintaining boundaries and ethical standards. and for the history of mental health services----mental health practioners have largely done a lot of harm to their patients.

one specific example i would like to use because it parallels kasumi and dr. maruki perfectly is the case of ‘sybil’---or, the two people in reality and not just the fictionalized account of it---dr. cornelia b. wilbur and shirley ardell mason, who popularized the ‘multiple personality disorder’ diagnosis.

shirley ardell mason was a woman who had been abused in her past, who had depression, and anxiety, and was very clearly mentally ill, and desperate for any kind of approval. dr. wilbur was her psychiatrist---who basically saw symptoms within shirley that COULD be multiple personality disorder, and suggested it to her patient so strongly that shirley started to act out the multiple personalities in order to make her doctor happy. she later was so scared of telling dr. wilbur that it was all an act that she left a note at her office explaining----dr. wilbur said that the note was merely written by one of her alternate personalities, and continued treatment. together, dr. wilbur and shirley went through a process of ‘reintegrating’ the personalities that would supposedly cure shirley of all the trauma, anxiety and depression that plagued her pretty much he whole life, a process that you can just see on tumblr that is widely hated for people with actual dissociative identity disorder, that they want no part in, and in the process of doing so, shirley became basically a ‘professsional patient’ as she had no means of paying dr. wilbur for their sessions other than sleeping on her psychiatrist’s couch and selling her life story as ‘sybil,’ which later became a tv movie that like 60% of every household in america saw. she became completely financially and emotionally dependent on dr. wilbur.

this is a real thing that happened and that led to further misdiagnoses as more and more people were coaxed into the diagnosis in the same way as shirley was, and is not any less real than any positive experience i’ve ever had with a therapist. and i’ve certainly had negative experiences with psychiatrists and guidance counselors and nurses and therapists alike.

dr. maruki literally takes whatever ideas he has or wants from people, and warps their realities to his desire for them. does ryuji really want to be on the track team? by the end of his social link, it seems that yeah, it’d be nice in another life, but it’s not the end of the world if he’s not on it. dr. maruki takes his own ideas about other people and amplifies them, changes them, pretty much preys on them to further his own ideals for an impossible ‘true’ world where no one suffers, when a lot of humanity had already accepted their suffering and were dealing with it in the healthiest manner they possibly could. but more damning than that instead of being a guidance counselor and guiding people towards their own ACTUAL goals instead of just what dr. maruki thinks would be their best possible life----dr. maruki abuses his position as a doctor and an authority figure in everyone’s lives to use them to make his own paradise in a way that affirms his worst fears and doubts about himself (that he doesn’t deserve to be a human being with feelings and has to be a completely selfless martyr of a being, that he doesn’t deserve to be happy with other people and that he must always remain outside of them, that he doesn’t deserve love in that respect, and that he can never have a true equal or a partner or even a real friend), without taking other people’s wishes into account as he claims to, and then making them completely reliant on him. he makes himself a god, he warps people into forgetting themselves and their actual goals so they can be ‘happy’, and in doing so---he has to continue this role of ‘god’ and ‘happy person’ forever, to the point where it’s very obvious no person in his world can be indepdent or make thei own actual decisions.

and yes, he does it out of kindness. maybe dr. wilbur really thought she was helping shirley. after all---it has to be appealing, as a pyschiatrist, to be able to diagnose someone with a disorder as multiple personality disorder was thought of at the time, in which you can ‘fix’ for them, reintegrate them, make them whole and happy and cured. but reality isn’t so simple. trauma isn’t so simple. being a mental health practitioner is a lot harder work than being a god---it’s being a human person, with their own human opinions, who has to constantly go to conferences and seminars and read books to stay up to date on on the latest information, it’s long hours of dealing with people in crisis who may never get out of crisis, when you still have to go home at the end of the day to rest and recharge yourself. it’s work, and it doesn’t pay well, and it doesn’t always seem to matter in the long run how much work you put in---but recognizing yourself as a fallible human being is the first step to getting better at being a mental health practioner. it’s how you can make sure you’re not doing stuff that harms your clients, or yourself. and it’s also how you become a better and more fulfilled person like, in general.

so. the final verdict on persona 5 royal’s representation of therapists is. it’s actually very realistic. and i hope people are not dissuaded by it to not to go to therapy. but that they know that some therapists, and some people, will be kind but ultimately misguided and wrong. and it’s always best to like. ya know. shop around when going to therapy for the first time. maybe don’t go to the first person that offers you snacks. like maybe see if they can tell you the framework in which they operate and if they say ‘fruedian’ or ‘cognitive pscience’ just uh. get the hell out of there lol