#she has her own goals and moral values and she will do What She Needs To to uphold those things

[t4t4tclethian]

nobody understands empires s1 gem like i do btw just incase anyone was wondering

[beta-therapy]

How to Deal with Sadness/Frustration from Rejection

We’ve all been there. We’ve all had a crush on a beautiful woman and wanted to give her the world, only to find out she has no sexual interest in us. Maybe she puts you in the friendzone; or maybe she makes it clear she wants nothing to do with you at all. It’s normal to feel frustrated in these situations, knowing that she probably has a vibrant sex life with other men, yet doesn’t have any sexual interest toward you.

When this happens over and over again, it can make us question our own self-worth: how come so many women have decided that sex is an activity which is off-limits to me? Do my sexual needs not matter? How come a woman can be salivating with excitement as she begs certain men to engage her in the most personal of ways—whereas with me, so much as asking if she’s single gets me permanently labelled as a creep?

As society becomes more and more accepting of personal freedoms, (especially regarding women) like allowing people to dress how they want, freely express themselves, do what they want in their own bedroom, etc., there indeed looms an increasing mental health crisis among those men who don’t get included in all the sexual fun. They can feel inferior and isolated. In this blog, I’ll discuss how to handle these emotions.

Although it might bring you feelings of shame, insecurity, and jealousy to find out that women consider you unsuitable for sex, it is important to understand that these feelings are rooted in misogyny. It is an outdated, oppressive idea that the goal of a man’s life is to acquire dominance, status, power, and wealth; and use this prestige to seduce beautiful women. This idea is so evil because it views women as beauty objects rather than equal human beings. Women are not trophies.

Women are full human beings with no less intelligence, leadership abilities, creativity, and dignity than the men who forced them to be quiet and submissive for all human history. A lot of men still refuse to acknowledge this today. They want to keep seeing women as less intelligent, less capable, submissive homemakers whose value comes from their sexual beauty.

That sexy woman you know probably does have a passionate sex life, but you should strive to admire her as a person: smart, strong, kind, witty, dignified. She can still have all these great qualities to her even if she has zero sexual interest in you. Considering her a “sexy woman” is—in and of itself—toxic masculinity at work. Why is “sexy” the first trait that comes to your mind when it’s clear that her sex life is off-limits to you? Maybe she is sexually submissive in her bedroom, but why should that concern you? She’s allowed to explore the “feminine” part of her existence in her private life without it subtracting from her value as an interesting, fascinating person in her public life.

You can still be a happy, nice, and fulfilled person even if all the women around you would prefer not to have sex with you. Just because the female community around you doesn’t want you as a sexual/romantic person, doesn’t mean you have been rejected as a person entirely. Sexuality is just one component of the human experience, and it’s very common throughout history for people to be deprived of it.

We have evolved for survival and reproduction, not necessarily to have good morals and be happy. For example, racism is part of our DNA. In prehistoric times, racism helped us stay away from warring tribes, so it was positively selected-for with respect to evolution. But in modern times, we can recognize that racism is a huge problem if we want an inclusive, happy society, and so we must actively denounce this artifact of our DNA.

Our sexuality is much the same way. Throughout history, the evil, abusive, tyrant was always better able to protect his children due to his status and wealth, in comparison to the poor, harmless, gentle, and caring man. That doesn’t mean the evil tyrant was a better person, but it does unfortunately mean that women would evolve a sexual attraction toward higher status, dominant men even if it meant overlooking their moral evil.

As a result, the things women are sexually attracted to are not necessarily the things that are good. You can take solace in this fact. Being sexually undesired by women does not mean there’s something wrong with you, it just means they see you as more harmless and submissive rather than powerful and dangerous.

[milkywayes]

Thinking about Garrus again and how much I appreciate his character, his development, his search for perspective and how it shapes his relationship with Shepard.

He always wants to do the Right Thing, as in Achieve X Positive End Goal, but the way there is so murky to him. So tough to navigate, to visualize. He likes when it's clear and when it's simple, but it simply never fucking is, so he has to Think It Through. And he simply cannot trust anyone else to do the thinking for him. He can't trust them to value the Right Thing as much as he does. He can't trust them to want it as badly.

and then, ENTER SHEPARD STAGE LEFT, and finally he finds someone that he can trust. With all of it. He can Tell she wants it just as badly, but the difference is, she seems to also have an idea of how to get there.

I've seen people complain that he has no backbone and just agrees with whatever Shepard says, and it's like… they don't get it. He needs someone in his life who he can trust to think things through with him, to meet him where he's at and to engage in good faith. She is the Only person he would ever cede to, the only authority he'll accept, because she has proven herself to care just as much as he cares.

(As a side note, that's also how I view his infamous elevator talks. He's not approaching these conversations closed-mindedly even if his word choice is often lacking or people take offense to his straight-forwardness. As I said, the path is murky for him. He's asking because he genuinely wants to know. He's practically desperate for another point of view. He wants to understand.)

He's the only character who constantly asks Shepard for her opinion on things, on morality issues and approaches and how she'd navigate all the little pitfalls that line the road to Justice. And over the games he recognizes that even this lofty end goal is anything but simple, and it's shaped by how they get there. He doesn't talk these things through with her just to follow her direction like a soldier following orders. Him accepting her response, no matter what it is, is him respecting her so much and believing so much in her true desire for achieving Justice - it's not blanket agreeing with her.

This happens so often in ME3: he'll ask, and she'll respond, and he will accept her answer without judgement, but you never hear him say "you're so right, o my moral compass". He's just mapping the path that's ahead, and he takes her opinion as much into account as his own, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't have his own or that it always aligns with hers. He wants the full picture, and at that point, he is humble enough to know that his opinion is subjective, so he needs more points of view and more intel, and there is none that he values more than Shepard's.

But it's not all for himself. They're both stuck in the same, horrible situation. He's asking her, and in turn she has to think about it and really consider all the pitfalls he's already identified but isn't sure how to approach. He's a safe sounding board for her. They think it through together, her as this unstoppable force towards the Right Thing, him as the one in the sniper's perch who sights the path ahead and calls out to her when there's a wall before she can run head-first into it. In the end, they're two people united in their striving for the same thing, two halves of a well-oiled machine. No Shepard without Vakarian.

[princesssarisa]

Sometimes I'm still annoyed by Little Women analyses that take take demeaning, ableist views of Beth's character in the name of "feminism," like...

"Beth has to die because she's too fragile and self-effacing, lacks ambition, and represents an outdated, stifling model of femininity."

I wonder exactly why those readings seem more popular nowadays than, say...

"Beth shows that even a shy, unassuming, chronically ill person, who is never able to leave her parents' home or live a 'normal' adult life, and who eventually dies young without having 'achieved' anything, can still live a wonderful, precious life of enormous value to others."

...which I'd like to think is closer to Alcott's intent.

I wonder if it's because some people think they can't view Beth's life as precious and valuable without it leading to this:

"Therefore, Jo needs to give up her ambitions and become a gentle, self-effacing domestic angel like Beth was."

Personally? I don't think that's what the book aims for. It's what Jo temporarily thinks, yes: at first she does renounce her ambition and dedicate her life to caring for her family the way Beth did. But that's not the end of her story. If the ultimate goal of Jo's character arc were to teach her to be like Beth, then she would stay in Beth's place as a saintly housekeeper for her parents; Alcott writes that if Jo "had been the heroine of a moral storybook," then that's just what she would do. But she doesn't. Instead she starts writing again, finally finds success as an author, and later opens her school with Friedrich. Beth's kindness and unselfishness will always be an example for her, but she's still allowed to be her own active, achieving self.

Yet that fact doesn't mean we should belittle Beth either. Her way of life was just right for her, just like Jo's is just right for Jo.

Maybe this dilemma would be solved if critics would view all four of the March sisters as co-protagonists for a change, rather than just viewing Jo as the protagonist and treating the other three as if they only exist to serve Jo's character development.

[captainofthetidesbreath]

Karna and Colin are fascinating mirrors of one another, just complete reversals and inverses.

They are people of no national allegiances in the end, and they play to whoever side has an open seat that serves their goals and needs. Karna from Fructera to Vegetania to Ceresia to the Meat Lands. Colin from the Dairy Islands to Vegetania (which recognizes his knighthood) to Fructera (where Raphaniel was sent).

Both grew up with nothing as impoverished on the streets, are of the commonfolk. Karna considers herself fully an orphan of Fructera, and she rejects Amangeaux trying to position Karna as a daughter. She is the daughter of no one but the streets of Comida. Colin has struggled under the weight of his ancestry because the powers that be value lineage so deeply and will see him as a threat merely for his grandfather's identity—even as this lineage is nothing to him. He was orphaned by those powers that be for simple fact of birth; he is trying to orphan himself and make himself a descendant of no one of consequence.

They both have great disdain for those who as dismissive of shedding the blood of the commonfolk as a price for their games, disdainful of the exceptionalism of the powerful. But where Karna leans into ensuring an equality of bloodshed, the nobles will bleed as much as the commonfolk, Colin leans into his solidifying morals and is compelled toward a more traditional defense of the common people.

They both avoid the spotlight and direct attention, but they run in opposite directions with power. Karna works toward it, eager to play the game and hungry in her ambitions. Colin runs from it, anxious of its pull and fearful of what it asks people to do. They've both held the position of Deli's skáld, and their (for lack of a better term) preferred playstyle in this game takes the form of advisement.

The men they succeed are ghosts, dead but not gone. Karna kept a specter of Ja'Cru Dite, puppeteering his face and voice for her own ends. (Interesting that she is, now, a Phantom rogue.) Lucas Fontina, Colin's grandfather, haunts Lacramor with such presence that his apparently illegitimate son was tortuously murdered in response, and their deaths haunt Colin.

Death, an early one, hangs over them both. Wasting away in the service of the Hungry One, now believing it can be kept at bay and finding hope in that. Fearing of suffering the tortuous death of his grandfather and father, now no longer caring about this consequence and clearly finding a freedom in it.

Both have spent so much of their lives motivated by survival and made so many choices for their own self-preservation. Karna now finds that Deli is the first thing she has desired beyond that. Colin is focused beyond that on "[making] a difference with the people who did this to him" and working against the Sanctus Putris, now that he no longer cares about his secret being discovered.

They've even swapped partners in this grand game—Karna from Raphaniel to Deli and Colin from Deli to Raphaniel.

Karna has become a believer in some of the ideas of the Sanctus Putris. Colin remains a nonbeliever even as he is consecrated a holy knight of the Bulbian Church in his search to work against the Sanctus Putris and support Raphaniel, who advocates for this smoothie oblivion. The two of them work in tandem with opposing sects, each who preach conflicting eschatologies and apocalypses.

I feel like I'm missing so many other parallels and reverses between them, but this is already is such a strong basis of the inverse between them.

[ultfreakme]

I saw a lot of people saying Higurama should've been there in the double page spread instead of Junpei where Yuuji is recalling people who had a lot of impact on him. The argument being, Yuuji knew Junpei for one day whereas he knew Higurama for a month. As a Junpei girlie in the year of our lord 2024, that makes me biased but I want to tackle this properly and explain why Junpei was there instead of anyone else.

Yuuji's ideas on the value of life and death

Yuuji was not randomly reminiscing about people who died. It was these characters for very specific reasons and this is attached to the dialogue bubbles. These bubbles express his previous assumptions, and what he learned from them.

It starts with Yuuji's grandpa, Wasuke- his memory is attached to Yuuji thinking people have assigned roles. Wasuke was the first to give Yuuji a role. He enrolls as a Jujutsu Sorcerer because Wasuke told him to save people and Yuuji thought if he fulfilled this role, he'd have a good death.

The 'good death' is then linked to Junpei. Prior to meeting Junpei, Yuuji placed an emphasis on people dying "good deaths". This meant respectable and moral deaths where peoples lives were not tampered with. With Junpei, Yuuji failed at saving him (what Wasuke asked of him), and at giving him a proper death (the thing Yuuji wanted to give as a bare minimum). This was a double whammy where Yuuji properly understood the kind of world he has entered.

Then we transition to Yuuji realizing there is no such thing as "good death". Todo in Shibuya had pointed out to Yuuji that he keeps thinking about the meaning and logic to death so much he's disrespecting those who did die. This post here by @linkspooky (hello, sorry for tagging you, you don't need to read this mess, I just wanted to cite and link to your theories because they were fun to read) has a big section about how Yuuji sees things in terms of 'story' and 'roles'. Therefore for him, 'death' must have some significance too and he tries to assign meaning to Junpei's death as a coping mechanism.

But this ENTIRELY falls apart because one death? Yeah he can assign meaning to one guy, but everyone he knew and treasured were falling like flies. What significance could he give to Nanami and Nobara's death, who were also killed by Mahito? What of Shibuya? Yuuji heard Todo saying "don't dwell on the death of others, that would be trivializing their life and what they were, and don't drag yourself down" to further enforce his ideology of himself playing a "role".

Yes, Nanami and Nobara died meaninglessly, but Yuuji blamed his inability to perform his 'role' right in this 'system'. He dug deeper into the mentality of being one small part of this big thing and diminished his own significance to nothing.

BUT.

In 265, Yuuji has realized that is not the case and he says that over Nanami and Nobara. These two characters arguably had the most mundane dreams and reasons for being sorcerers. Nanami dreamed of a peaceful life and got back to sorcery to do something useful he didn't think a corporate job could provide- he felt himself to be contributing more to making lives better by being a sorcerer but ultimately he wanted to just, be happy.

While Yuuji sees being a sorcerer as being a 'hero' and as a somewhat noble profession about saving lives, Nobara DID NOT. For her, this is a 9-5 job. She took this on because it paid, she was good at it, and gave her the freedom to be herself. Over Nobara, we see Yuuji saying "just walking your dog and raising your family are also decent roles" (fingers crossed the translation is fine). Nobara wanted to go shopping, dress nice, explore the city of Tokyo, be independent and free of scrutiny. These aren't particularly lofty goals like "save everyone" but Yuuji didn't realize how much value these goals have until now. Her dying words were "it wasn't too bad" which probably made no fucking sense to Yuuji because she died young, horribly, needlessly. How could it be "not too bad" when she didn't get to do much at all?

He was so fixated on giving meaning to death and fulfilling some higher purpose he forgot that little things matter and these people are independent and unique individuals. That's when we see Choso, who lived and died because he simply loved his brothers, nothing about saving the world or anything. Yuuji's final statement that small fragments of memory and happiness gives value is said over Gojo. Gojo who's been the center of fucking everything. Gojo who is the strongest and most powerful. Gojo who's been assigned the lynchpin of sorcerer society and whose mere birth caused upheaval in the strength of sorcerers and cursed spirits. Yuuji realizes he remembers Gojo not for his power or his death but for the little moments they shared together.

Junpei's there, because he was the first person whose death he somehow tried to justify in his head. He was kinda making it about himself instead of seeing Junpei as an independent person. Linkspooky also made a great post about how Yuuji didn't really try to listen to Junpei as a person. He saw him as someone to be saved, or someone to be stopped until the last few minutes. All of these people he is remembering are people who taught him a vital lesson the first time around and were a huge turning point.

Higurama absolved Yuuji of his guilt and told him he shouldn't blame himself, and that is very significant, but Yuuji isn't talking about himself in this scene. He is talking about his changed perspective on the value of ALL life. These people he's thinking about have made him reconsider his perspective on his role with respect to others, which is why it's Junpei instead of Higurama.

Span of Time

Junpei and Yuuji knew each other for a day, two days if you're being generous. He shouldn't matter so much.

Aside from the trauma of seeing someone you conversed with and seemed to get along with die a horrible death while asking "why?" (ah i believe this might be where Yuuji started trying to give meaning to death), time doesn't really matter in terms of impact.

Geto and Gojo knew Riko for about 4 days, but Riko's death was Geto's tipping point into entering his corruption arc. Geto and Gojo knew each other properly for about two years. The remaining ten were spent not having seen each other at all (based on canon, I am all for them meeting up in secret in headcanons). But for Gojo, Geto is still someone very important. ChosoYuki knew each other for a couple of days too.

I think bringing up how time passes in real life is kind of useless in fiction. Practically speaking, Gojo should've then moved on from Geto a long, long time ago and his feelings about him should have diminished. Gojo also should've managed to get past his issues about Toji but he clearly still has some trauma and issues related to him. Yuuji knew all these people for about 4-6 months yet he is so traumatized by all of their deaths. It's less about "how long did they know each other?" and more about the narrative relevance of these characters in their life. After Sukuna, Mahito was Yuuji's biggest villain, and this was setup USING Junpei.

Similarly, though Riko and Haibara weren't really present in the manga for long, they served to highlight the exploitative nature of sorcerer society.

I know people like to mock Gege and the general fandom is already very weirdly hateful of Junpei, but Gege is very good at conveying meaning and themes through his characters. It was Junpei for a reason. JJK is a story that makes you, as a reader, introspect about things. I think this dismissal of Junpei, calling Megumi 'useless' and the general atmosphere where there's an emphasis on power rather than anything else is a really fruitless way of consuming JJK and I hope people learn to curiously ask why a writing decision has been taken, instead of coming at it with own assumptions and priorities.

[dxxtruction]

I sort of divorce Armand from the larger moral implications of the trail, and what I mean by that is - while he still falls at fault for all of them, and further had a morally special position to prevent it that he takes on additional fault for - his primary concerns are actually divorced from anything that's even going on. In other words, to get at understanding Armand I sort of have to take on his own position. He's rather self possessed and his only actual goal is to ensure he has stable 'love' (even if it can never be real or reciprocated without high control obligations/fear/threat/or lies both to himself and other(s)).

"I did not see your love lasting as long" = he sees the coven as a source of love. Which he'd accept, even in a debased position, if it meant a consistent stability in knowing he is 'loved' (if a fucked up idea of it).

So, if the coven wants to do this whole production he doesn't care how it goes, or what its implications even are, or would achieve, so long as he gets what he's after. (Meaning Claudia is little to no object to him in this, but to the coven they (C, L, and M), and the racist and public humiliation done onto them, are the primary objective.) He appeases this objective to get at and earn his own, rather than it coming from himself, or his own beliefs. Of which are only self serving, and morally bankrupt to begin with (generally he's moral, as he has certain values about being good, but he's extremely okay with doing amoral, and violent things if it serves his own interests). Since his objectives only extend to Louis, Claudia is killed. He never loved her in any way, and saw her as worthless for it, so she's killed.

Armand probably would've preferred, though, that she run off with Madeleine and Louis stay with him, but because he has such strong objectives about maintaining 'love' at all costs he gives to the covens wishes to earn it from them. (At least this is the impression I get from how he looks so defeated and sad by it, like he's not gloating in this).

He ties literally all his worth an existence onto others need and desire of him, and so puts himself in an awkward position where he believes he's nothing if he can't have someone to possess or to alternatively possess him (Thank you Marius de fucking Romanus /s). This idea about worth naturally gets projected onto everyone else, (again fucking thank you you actual prick). And the more worthless you are to the world to him the more he doesn't think you deserve to live, or there is a point to your existence.

The ideal of a worthy person to him is Marius (eugh yeuck), and the things Marius imbued into him as things which are valuable or which make him valuable. (Success, sex, beauty, intelligence, devout servitude, etc.)

This whole thing is why I'm also of the opinion he let Lestat do it (and/or he planned for it) so, come time for things, he has/could give himself a choice (however unworthy of it he is) between Louis and the coven. He's after his own self worth, and the image of this self worth is torn between the two.

"Who am I Louis?"

The only way he'd personally think he'd be worthy of it from Louis, I'd say, is if he was already fully divorced from all the implications so didn't see himself as responsible for them. Moreover, he was probably under legitimate threat by the coven, however shallow of one it may look to be, which would further cement this idea. Even if he did come to realize his own guilt and shame about it, maybe even recognize how at fault for it he was (hence later hiding in lies about it). As events were proceeding he'd effectively removed blame off himself, and remained innocent by his own mental framing of being helpless to prevent anything (perhaps unconsciously).

But anyway, he casts himself as helpless and this achieves unwarranted sympathy from Louis, and further, convincing the coven they're in control (he's using the tactic of a child crying), so he can come out on top of whatever choice he then ends up with. What's a bit interesting is that (I hope I'm remembering this right) he encourages Louis to leave again right before he goes to tear everything down. So this either implies he wants to give Louis a choice still, to go free, or had already chosen the coven over him. If it's the former I think that's important, because it shows he does see others have some inherent value outside himself. But (sadly) can't apply that same understanding to himself. (Which, again, might mean this idea he was helpless isn't deliberate. He's just screwed up like that, consistently under an impression that he just is. Which is the biggest lie there is perhaps, but given his life, something I can deeply understand, even relate, to where it comes from).

As a disclaimer this is just an explanation I've come to, as it makes sense to me, explaining partly as well his further abusive behaviors, and is not me trying to agree with his position. He doesn't deserve forgiveness in all this, and is at fault for everything he is shown to be doing or simultaneously not doing.

[orenji-iro-no-sora]

Thoughts on TGCF book 1.

Vol 1 | Vol 2| Vol 3| Vol 4| Vol 5| Vol 6| Vol 7| Vol 8

*Spoilers*

Xie Lian's crush

I finished the first book and at this point Xie Lian might as well be sighing, giggling, twirling his ponytail and kicking his legs. He is so charmed (I don't blame him). It's funny that literally in bottom of a deathly pit, he's worried that he's too comfortable in Hua Cheng's princess hold. MXTX protagonists really have the worst timings for gay epiphanies. (Does it count as an epiphany if you're still oblivious?)

Body in abyss, isolation, friendship, and reverence

While they did say that Xie Lian learned that when body is in abyss, the heart can't be in paradise, I think he still managed to find tiny moments of paradise with Hua Cheng. And isn't that life?

Xie Lian has been extremely lonely all this time which contributed to him being attached to San Lang quite quickly. Also, Hua Cheng's sincerity shines through even in a disguise so immaculately created. Xie Lian is smart and figure things out easily, he's able to perceive Hua Cheng for what he is, irrespective of what others say about who he was. Their friendship is something that he holds dear; he values Hua Cheng's company.

Him being able to tell that Hua Cheng is the only one who ever called him 'His Highness' out of genuine respect instead of sarcasm also shows how aware he is of other's harsh sentiments towards him.

However, I do believe that even though it may be idealistic to accept and focus on the positive, Xie Lian as deep as he has been in the abyss, carries a troubled heart. His desire to forget his own suffering, embarrassment at his own actions, even when they stem from right intentions is a proof that he sees himself as someone who failed at all levels.

Instinct to protect

This idea is brought up again and again but Xie Lian is helpless in his desire to save people. First, as the commander who "died" saving Banyue, facing demotions and ridicule yet trying to protect civilians at the border, protecting is his way of showing that he cares. And he cares... alot. He is instinctual in his love. He didn't need to protect San Lang (from the bite, from the pit) especially when he knew that he's Hua Cheng yet he acted before thinking. Someone who's as calm and collected as him falling to his knees, screaming from the edge of pit really demonstrates how much he care about San Lang (to the point of irrationality, atleast by his standards).

Saving the common people, parallels to morality in real life

While he acts embarrassed of his foolish (yet brave) dream of saving the common people, it's something he's still striving for. Despite feeling self conscious and disappointed that he could not live up to his words, despite his strong belief in his own misfortune, despite his poor self confidence and lack of support, despite still not knowing the answer to how to save people, he's still doing it. He's still brave.

Xie Lian is also a perfect example of how people who choose morality and ethics in life are often treated by the rest. MXTX often makes her characters pay the price of taking a moral stance. There's a strong culture of self serving in the Heavenly Realm, officials want to extend their influence and climb the ladder. They carry disdain for Xie Lian, thinking him naïve for wanting to do something fruitless and selfless like striving to save the world. Hua Cheng carries admiration for the exact same goals.

Heavenly Realm, to me, is a reflection of society, where people are worshipped for their accomplishments, elevated to a godly status for their fame and influence, even when they have acted mostly in self interest. Service to community is not desired, even laughed at. There's an acceptance for certain doom and no initiative to change it.

Banyue: symbolism for young adult cluelessness

When state preceptor Banyue asked Xie Lian how to save the people, he expressed remorse at his inability to answer her. Banyue feeling like she had been a failure because she hadn't figured out life in 200 hundred years is such a parallel to how it feels to be a young adult having no idea what you're supposed to do in life and slowly wasting away with the time passing gradually out of your control.

I always thought being an immortal would take away the pressure of time, but I guess nothing can save us from this commodifying mindset, trying to find value and reason for existence. Even ghosts want purpose. Even deities do.

Ambiguous conflicts and nuanced feelings through Nan Feng and Fu Yao

One of the things that I really liked was that both the major conflicts in the story, that of Xuan Ji and Banyue vs Central Plains, were ambiguous in terms culpability. Who's to blame? Every party involved was responsible and in case of the war helpless in their own need for survival. Another parallel to reality.

Similarly, Nan Feng and Fu Yao's feelings towards Xie Lian were also nuanced. They "volunteered" to help him but carried anger and resentment towards Xie Lian, towards themselves for not supporting him back then, admiring him but also condemning him at the same time. I'd love to see how it'll all play out, I'm sure Xie Lian knows who they are and I want to see how he'll deal with it all. Emotions are often nuanced and complicated, you can love someone but dislike them, you can fear someone and still crave them and this juxtaposition of complicated feelings is something I really enjoy in fiction (and hate in real life).

Stereotypes and expectations

Tremendous Masculinity. XD

It might be a gag, but it also shows that even deities do not wish to live up to any expectations people may have of them. Often what is believed is not rooted in reality at all, and heavenly officials are powerless and unable to control people's beliefs about them.

Worshippers' ideas about gods also contributed to Xianle's downfall. Xie Lian was not invincible, that was his crime. That's why, later Xie Lian constantly denied Puqi people that he cannot offer wealth or a wife or a child to anyone. He won't make promises he can't keep.

Hua Cheng's name

Finally, I'm not sure which idea I like better: Hua Cheng being his real name, destined and fated to seek and hold flowers, or Hua Cheng being his fake name that he chose to live for Xie Lian, that he chose to find meaning in him.

Either way, I'm looking forward to learning more about who he really is.

Final Note- Ruoye is so cute. It's a band but it's cute.

I am sure my ideas are bound to change as I proceed with the novels but for now I'd say the first book was really enjoyable, a good mix of horror and action and fun interactions. Onto the second one!! <3

[mxhirus]

I just found your account after I thought I could not find much good stuff in this fandom.

And thank you! 

I love Mahiru so much!

I can say, after recently re-reading Catat16, that she is the most interesting character there (next to Rígr, but this is something personal) and that her perspective is much, much more enjoyable to read than Guren's in the novels. 

Because, I do not know how many people realize, but Mahiru has a moral compass, she does everything to save the world and give her sister and the man she loves a chance to live in that world. 

This girl was aware from the age of 11 that the Apocalypse would come and destroy everything, was aware of Sika Madu, of everything. If she did not do what she did, we would not have a world to talk about in OnS anymore.

While Guren lies so hard that he is a hero and does everything for others, but his own repressed desires can turn him into total chaos, and in the end, his moral compass is unpredictable precisely because of the repression and lying to which he submits himself. And this is reflected a lot in his perspective in the novels, which is a very dark one.

I do not want to be misunderstood. I really understand Guren's perspective and I love GureMahi, but I think Mahiru is much more honest and she is one of the only people who truly sees Guren and accepts him for who he is and I love their dynamic because it reflects well the hidden reality of each.

Quite a chaotic message, but sorry. 

When I saw your page, I felt the need to give some appreciation to Mahiru, thinking that finally someone would understand my message. 

Thank you and have a nice day!

when i tell you my jaw dropped at how LONG THIS IS OMG

Yeah, I also personally think Guren is the more selfish one between him and Mahiru (as much as I love him). When I decided to get active on here, I decided to base my page around GureMahi, and make posts related to them and the individual characters (Guren and Mahiru, but more so Mahiru.). I really love her and it's kinda sad to see a character be hated by so much of the fandom, because she's really so interesting. The stuff she does, if any male cast does it (AND SOME HAVE) they get idolized and it pisses me off. I made the page cause I love Mahiru and i saw how flooded the tags were with hatred for GureMahi, so I blessed it with some art, takes, and just... me!

Mahiru is an extremely intelligent girl, and she had her priorities. Shinoa is a priority for her, and she values her life more than anything. Even if her methods aren't great, she had a goal and she went for it. She took the hard way because that was the only way she knew. Guren's priority was to protect anyone no matter the cost, especially if they're a friend... yeah, except it caused the destruction of the world at the cost of reviving like 6 people. Of course, I love Guren nonetheless and I see why he did it, but it's a selfish thing. (but that's what the story is kinda about lol)

Mahiru and Guren both have their faults. One killed to get somewhere, and one brought back the dead at the cost of other's lives. Nonetheless, I think they both deserve some love, and GureMahi does too.

Thanks for the ask, so thoughtful!

[barebevil]

I'll start with my pitch. This is a full soliloquy that i break out into whenever i talk to someone who shows just the barest modicum of interest in reading the book. I'm a great conversationalist don't worry about it. THE TRAITOR BARU CORMORANT IS A BOOK ABOUT BARU CORMORANT. When baru is a child her home is subject to foreign imperial expansion, by means of economics and education, she is discovered by an agent of this empire to be a math genius and is enrolled in an imperial school where she makes it her mission to prove herself an impress the powers that be in order to earn a favorable position and climb the hierarchy of power within the empire, for you see she means to behold the very machinations of the imperial machine. and she means to burn it all down from the inside. but in order to do so, to climb, to impress, she has to compromise everything about herself. she cant have personal values, personal relationships, morals, and no goals but this one: more power and more influence. She cannot be herself or she will doom herself and everything she's already sacrificed will have been for naught. (At this point is when I'll usually pivot and say the following--) I've cried over a book before, I've been moved to tears by books before, sometimes because something is sad, or it is joyous, whatever. i've cried over books before is the point, and i thought, as i was nearing the end of THE TRAITOR BARU CORMORANT that perhaps this would be such an instance. I thought, and no spoilies but, well, i was in the final stretch and thought that probably the end might make me cry. Reader it did not. Have you ever read something that was so viscerally upsetting that you skipping right past crying and went straight to nausea? because that's what happened to me. Not one tear, but a single sentence made me feel like i was genuinely going to throw up. Fuck this book is so fucking good. I really thought i might throw up thats how sad and upset i was. and it was PERFECT. What happened was exactly what needed to happen. Again, no spoilies but oh my god. Nauseous. AND THAT'S JUST THE FIRST BOOK. We then follow Baru as she achieves every single one of her goals, and goes more insane in the process. With every victory she destroys herself more, with every sacrifice she curries more favor. And she only becomes more insane and more horny. And now you may ask yourself, what does horny have to do with it? EVERYTHING. The higher she climbs, the more she injures and destroys and compromises herself, the more separation she creates between her mind and her body, the more removed she becomes from herself, the harder it becomes to unify the two, to satisfy any carnal need, harder to do as much as identify her own desires much less realize them. She loses herself, she wins, she loses more, she wins more.

The most common criticism i've seen online of the first book in the serious is that it's boring. First of all get better soon. second of all, YES Baru is an accountant she deals a lot in economic policy and money and numbers but oh my god its THRILLINGGGGG. I happen to find math quite romantic and poetic and I know that's not everyone's bag, but when in book 2 a whole page is dedicated to the description of one mathematical axiom as a metaphor for a situation Baru is trying to deal with, here i WAS almost moved to tears. It's such a good book.

Oh and did I mention? (I did not) The characters are all fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. It's wall to wall fucking hits, Seth Dickinson my close personal friend Seth Dickinson oh my god your mind your mind!!!!!!!!!!!

[super-hero-confessions]

The fact that there are people not willing to understand the political commentary being made with The Boys is not only mind boggling, it irks and disturbs me. I am begging people to please try to understand and stop being so childish about what they don't or maybe even look at the world around them to see why what's being presented might be more relevant than they realize.

1. The show and comic are satire. They make political commentary in often the most crude way it can be presented whether you like it not. It's fine if you don't like satire or political commentary but don't sit there and complain about it when you knew what you were getting into before it got this far. Nothing about that has changed. If you are someone who unironically takes satire seriously at face value rather than trying to listen to the message? I can't help you, sorry.

2. If I see one more complaint about Homelander not being killed in Season 3, I'm going to lose my mind. There were thousands of people in Vought tower. Thousands. Including Ryan, Becca's son. If you're someone who thinks all of those people should be sacrificed so the "goal" of killing Homelander can be accomplished? Congratulations, you think exactly like a war criminal. Fuck the "fuck Ryan" crowd.

3. Homelander's not just played by the best actor or is the biggest draw of the show, killing him off is so shortsighted. Not just because losing him would ruin the show. There will always be more "Homelander"s as long as the root causes creating them are allowed to fester and continue to exist. If you think killing Homelander will solve all of their problems and everything will be 🌈✨🌅☀️🦄🦋🌈💖🧈🪰🌈 if or when they do this, you are missing the point of this entire series. They are literally using Ryan to exemplify this.

4. The fandom misogyny against Starlight is so transparent. She's not without faults, but she is the least "traditionally masculine" woman on this show and I think that says enough. Her goal is to neutralize and damage the credibility of Homelander without pushing him directly over the edge because she doesn't want millions of people to die at the expense of "scorched earf" like William Butcher. She's quick thinking and does what she needs to in order to survive in a moment and try to protect people, but in case people forgot? She's following Hughie. Hughie is the one who gave that speech about saving everyone, even if they don't deserve it, especially if they don't deserve it. He is the guy asking why violence is their solution for everything and he has always been that guy. Why are people blaming Annie for Hughie doing what he does best and being an actual good guy that promotes goodness in the people around him? If you're going to be mad, at least be consistent. If you don't like moral lessons or questions being presented to you through media, I don't think the superhero genre is for you.

5. William Butcher is not the hero of this story. He never was and never will be. He does not have good intentions, and he never has had them. This isn't even a case of "the road to hell" or misguided pursuit. He knows what he does is wrong and does it anyway and makes this very clear on multiple occasions. This has always been the case. The guy literally "fridges" his own wife and people are actually surprised he would cheat on her? He is on an adjacent boat to Homelander as far as severely mentally ill men in dire need of help go, the main difference being that Homelander has little to no understanding of how his actions are "wrong". Butcher may actually be worse off than Homelander as when you look at their issues, at least in some ways, he's more like an evolved state of Homelander or the "next stage" of depravity. That is why he's been building Homelander up to his level so they can fight. To say either of these men are beyond saving is deeply hypocritical and commits the exact same moral failing that William Butcher is practicing. Hughie is the real hero, die mad about it.

6. This show is reflecting the current political climate and pointing out the faults of both "sides". You can't dehumanize another without first dehumanizing yourself. If you know anything about America or even the world, you'd know that some people are being forced to live in these sorts of environments. We literally have a real threat looming over us. White nationalists want to take over the country and implement a conservative hellhole dictatorship. They have a whole balls to the wall plan for this! I want to throttle half of this fandom for being so stuck in their own privilege that they won't take a second or two to think about the people who can't afford to not live through this.

I live in constant fear of what could happen to me and my family. I don't get the option to tune it out or pretend it doesn't exist. I live in a red state. I don't have the money to move. I'm pretty much everything the modern Nazi despises.

And yet, there are people in this fandom complaining about political commentary that is directly reflecting our current society, parodying and satirizing it to try and put forth an extremely important message before it's too late.?

I need people to understand this. Not want, need. My life is literally dependent on whether or not people will understand these things before it's too late because of where this country is headed. I wish I could say it wasn't that big of a deal but I can't. I can't because I don't get the privilege of living in the part of the world where it wouldn't be. Please, I am begging, begging people to take a moment to please look in a mirror, self reflect, and consider "why". Consider whether or not you might be part of the problem because we all have our bad takes, bad days, lapses in judgement. No one is perfect and that's okay. We live and we learn. Lighten up on the faults of others, lighten up on your own faults.

I really like learning so I really would love the opportunity to keep living so I can do that, but I'm scared out of my mind. I'm terrified and it's not just for me. Please, please, I need people to understand.

7. The Trump stuff is funny. It is! Donald Trump is funny if you don't think about the inherent dread of him having political power. I would love to be able to laugh and cringe at him flailing and failing and being ridiculous without that looming threat of the damage he could do on the world. I would love more specials from John Oliver with the breath of relief that Trump won't ever be given political power again. That's where the Homelander Trump metaphor comes in. That's what Homelander is supposed to give us, a way to rehumanize Trump but also reiterate why he should not be given political power. If you're bothered by it then again, this is satire. Satire is not made to be taken so seriously in that way and you will be much happier when you stop doing that.

Please. Please. Please, please, please, please, please. Please vote. If Trump gets elected again, I may actually die and it may not even be from conservative witch hunting.

I fell severely ill back in 2016 when Trump was elected. I broke out in hives the day he was inaugurated. The entire time he was elected, my health continued on a steady decline and I am still trying to recover. I'm not joking. I know how it sounds but I am not kidding at all. I don't know if it was an allergy or what but I have no idea how my body will react if he is elected again but whatever it is, I don't want it to happen.

I just want to be able to enjoy my favorite shows and or comics and live my life. I want other people to be able to do this too, but that can't happen if we keep rejecting every prompt we're given to self reflect.

You're human. So is everyone else around you. Please don't ever forget that.

[mdhwrites]

The issue with Owl House is that it’s cliche in the most boring way. A show can be filled with overused tropes yet still be entertaining yet the Owl House just…isn’t.

This is why I can’t rewatch the show because it’s just not exciting enough to do so.

So I'm mostly going to focus on the rewatch value of the show here rather than the trope elements, I feel like I covered that only a couple blogs ago. For why it's a bad rewatch though: I've said before that TOH is REALLY good at introducing elements and TERRIBLE at follow through. Amity was presented with a lot of great potential in just two episodes because of how clear it was that her current relationship with success was toxic but that you also didn't necessarily want to see her fail in her goals. Then she becomes just a love interest who entirely forgets her goals and has pretty much everything we had introduced in the first two episodes she appeared in swept under the tacky rug named Odalia. Literally two of the first 5 episodes... Wasted. Almost entirely pointless because you could jump in at Lost in Language and her character reads WAY more consistent... But less compelling. She wants to be good at school but it isn't consuming her mind, even at that point despite Luz not really having discussed that part of her at all. She's much closer to a normal, driven girl rather than one demented by the need to succeed. That is frankly just less interesting, at least without ANY explanation as to why besides 'girl crush'. It's akin to how by Escaping Expulsion, she's let her grades slip and only seems to care because her parents are saying she's not allowed to have friends because of it. Or, more importantly, Luz.

That's the thing: Most of the character arcs and elements in TOH don't build on one another. Instead, you start with this really well built house that could use a few additions but it's quite serviceable as is... And then each episode takes a sledgehammer to it. Even the world counts for this. An interesting dystopia fueled by greed where being normal is prioritized over being good? Where everyone is looking for a dime and would threaten to kill you for their own gain because they know they'll get away with it so long as they do it in a normal manner? That's FASCINATING. And that is explicitly the Isles we get for about three episodes.

But then with Covention, it shrinks. Suddenly people are just a little suspicious of Eda but you start realizing that she does run a market stall in the middle of town. That without posters, people practically don't care about her bounty. Cheating is seen as unacceptable rather than what should be the norm with the lack of morals on the Isles. All while it hasn't actually examined the world it implied early on besides honestly a pretty normal con artist and the fact the school was willing to kill an intruder.

Just think about any element really. The EC/Lilith? Presented as really cool and something that could genuinely be a philosophical debate against Eda. Then their second episode is Once Upon a Swap, where they end with their leader as a dog and can't control a witch who has pretty much no control over her magic. So interesting. -_- Hunter is FAMOUS for this. The Golden Guard is an entirely different personality from Hunter himself and implies a LOT of fascinating things about him... And then they're all immediately dropped by Hunting Palisman, even small details like him being a prodigy respected in the EC. Willow is an unexpected one as her first real return is Hooty's Moving Hassle which bungled her power issues so badly, it took Sport in a Storm for the majority of the fandom to realize they were resolved in the sixth episode.

It's also why the show keeps having to add elements rather than having anything to actually expand on. Eda gets pretty much her entire character finished up by the end of S1. She could still teach Luz about potions and genuinely examine the struggle she has with the difference between little magic and no magic but... Instead she gets glyphs and a super form rather than proper character development. Then she gets a love interest that is what she focuses on for a couple episodes of the season. They even have to escalate the curse, despite it being toned down being part of the S1 climax, just because they have so little to actually do with her at this point. They've accelerated her character so quickly past all the things she supposedly cared about that they have to grasp at straws for what can be pulled back. It's why Willow and Amity take effectively an entire season to follow up on the end of Understanding Willow because at that point, they're desperate for Amity to be able to do ANYTHING that isn't just Luz. It's why she suddenly gives a shit about her father out of NOWHERE. It's why Gus has to have the same problem rehashed three times but tackled at with his only two character traits and then sudden anxiety issues that technically aren't out of character but still feel like they came out of nowhere. Because if the show isn't adding something to a character, it only has so much room to go, at least from how the writers seemed to have thought.

It's actually part of why Luz is so incredibly stagnant in S1. Her character is actually really basic and the show itself has NO INTEREST in multiple elements of it. She can be described in the first episode as a bullied girl who is an outcast from normal people with a desire to live out a fantasy instead and has a good heart. Now that first half, the bullied girl who is an outcast, is jettisoned for the sake of making Luz's transition into the Isles easier/selling the idea of the Isles as a place she/the viewer want to be in easier. She never has social anxiety or the like, or even struggles to make friends and connections, because that would get in the way of seemingly what the writers actually care about like their romance plots and her wish fulfilment. So if you don't have those elements then all you have is her desire to live out a fantasy and that she has a good heart.

And for like half the show, that pretty much doesn't change at all. It's why a lot of the episodes with her effectively come down to her making a mistake because she wants to live out an Azura book, implicitly (Teenage Abomination) or explicitly (Covention), but then her good heart makes her set things right. And that is fine for your MC. It actually worked to keep her unobtrusive from the other characters as they worked through their arcs and lessons. MCs like this work well in general honestly. I've referenced Danny Phantom and Randy Cunningham as characters who fit this archtype, who also are pretty basic as both are teenage boys who would like to be popular but also have good hearts that will cause them to do the right thing even if it humiliates them, and those shows are great! There are issues with the style, and Luz has PLENTY OF THEM, but they work for a base.

But part of her stagnancy and issues with the trope is that she never seems to learn anything. That's because of TOH's problem of only tearing a character apart... Until it replaces. Lilith isn't Lilith anymore. She's now the cool aunt. Eda was practically never criminal or anarchist. She's just Momma Eda. The Golden Guard never existed, there's only the sad but mad boy. Etc. Etc.

The old character and their history do not exist and the new one... Is usually summed up really easily. Usually just with the statement of "A generally nice person." But having excised all of that old potential also means they can't do a lot with these characters without seeming to go back on their character development. This is why we get Hunter as a new Amity so someone can do her angst a second time since they decided to race past it all. It's why we get romance added more heavily because there are still tropes they can do with that genre and even love interests they can add. Why nothing gets explored because the show was so impatient to get to the big moments it wanted, even before the shortening since that mostly didn't affect the first half of the series so stuff like Amity's rushed development was not something forced on them, that it lost out on the chance to do the actually interesting ideas they pitched in the first place. Remember how Luz and Eda were pitched at the beginning as student/mentor? Theoretically, as the two main characters? And how after Adventure in the Elements, they have two plots together where they speak for more than like a minute with each other. Stranger Tides and Titan Where Art Thou, the latter of which actually rehashes a concept from literally a season ago (Grom) because they just forgot about Luz wanting Eda's approval until then.

All of this, all of this rambling, makes it so that while I am a firm proponent for the journey meaning more than the destination... It's hard to want to go back on that journey. To constantly be like "This is the best this character will ever be," through the first half of the show, if that, and then have only a couple character climaxes to look forward to. Worse yet is that even these introductory episodes HINGE on payoffs down the line, like Understanding Willow. That potential was part of what made them good when honestly a lot of them are kind of boring without the novelty of the potential story they're setting up. Knowing there's no payoff just makes the setup INFURIATING.

It also makes it really easy to understand why so many praised it so much harder early on. It comes out of the gate swinging but its punches have no follow through so when S1 was done and everything was introduced, the potential for the show was laid bare, we got HUNDREDS of animatics. We got thousands of comics. The fandom has NEVER thrived harder.

But by even the hiatus in S2... There's a reason why a LOT of people jumped onto Clarvee like ravenous hounds. A reason why a lot of people jumped onto Huntlow when it started being teased. Kept jumping to new elements being added because the old ones were left to rot, if they weren't actively sabotaged.

And the finale for a lot of people so actively contradicted one of those early statements, one of those early novelties people pointed to for why an okay episode was better than it was, that it really feels like it fractured the fandom. A lot of people saw Luz become a chosen one, literally empowered by God with no consequences and little work, and one of those things that people praised from episode 2... Shattered.

And suddenly they realized that strong house they thought they'd lived in the entire series had so many holes in it from the sledgehammers that it all simply fell as if it were always a house of cards.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[personality-corner]

Hazbin Hotel MBTI

Charlie Morningstar - ENFJ

Charlie has an idealistic desire to solve everyone else’s problems but her own. She had a tender heart, which has been both her biggest strengths and her biggest weaknesses. Her focus on everyone else’s emotions (Fe), hasn’t allowed her to be assertive when she needs to, always sugarcoating her words to avoid offending everyone else. However, it has allowed her to open other people’s eyes to the concept of redemption. She has a very narrowed focus on her singular goal to make the Hazbin Hotel work and she has very specifically focuses on the concept of redemption.

Vaggie - ISTJ

Vaggie is the grounded, down-to-earth half of Charlie. She uses her experience rooted in Si both in Hell and with other people, to challenge Charlie’s perspective at times. She is also able to take control of certain situations, in ways that Charlie might not be able to at times. Her Te consistently causes her to doubt certain aspects of these ideas, like the idea Angel can change. She doesn’t believe it until Angel objectively shows signs of changing.

Angel Dust - ESFP

Angel Dust can be impulsive, throwing himself into drinking and sex, to cope with his surroundings, showing his unhealthy Se. He puts up a wall, and is portrayed as being fake, however his decision to push his own emotions aside has much more to do with self-preservation than it does with conforming to his friend group, like an Fe would do. His Fi is shown in the way he always tries to protect himself and hide his emotions, to avoid getting hurt. He is constantly trying to get out of work, trying to get out of having to answer to Valentino. He wants nothing more than to separate himself from his toxic environment.

Alastor - ENTJ

Not much is known about Alastor’s true intentions, but from what we do know, he likes to be in complete control of situations. His decisions are based on information that works, rather than his own personal frameworks and theories, and doesn’t necessarily believe in things, such as redemption, until there is probable data in front of him. He also has a narrowed focus, Ni, where he uses his tertiary Se to pull from his environment to make decisions.

Sir Pentious - INFP

While he may disguise himself as a Te user, Sir Pentious is guided by his own feelings and desires, first and foremost. He attacks the hotel because he thinks it will earn him respect, and his inability to come up with any sort of feasible plan, indicates he has low Te. This being said, he has many strong ideas for the future, and he tends to be the most easy to convince to be on board.

Husk - ISTP

Husk comes off as cold and detached towards people he doesn’t know- and towards people he does know. He is aware of how people in his environment acts, and can see through people and their behaviors, but lacks empathy when addressing it, indicating strong inferior Fe. Like Angel Dust, he can also be impulsive, and enjoys sensory activities, such as gambling. Because of this, Husk is able to relate to Angel’s issues in ways that other main characters can’t, and uses this as a way to comfort him.

Lucifer Morningstar - ENFP

Lucifer’s many ideas about free will, and his desires to help humanity is what initially separates him from the other angels. However, as his hope is lost and his depression grows, he gets himself into an Si grip. He wants things to change, but he has also seen from experience how difficult it is to change a sinner. His Fi is shown when we see his personal values. He is so obsessed with his own emotions and his own past, that he doesn’t really comply to group morals at all.

Adam - ESTP

Adam is impulsive and tends to act without thinking about the long term effects, and he tends to use his own logic, developed by social standards, to justify his actions. He suggests the extermination, not as much as a solution to the problem at hand, but for the sake of entertainment. His impulsive nature is also what ends up exposing the exterminations to everyone.

To Be Typed: For now, this is all I’m doing, as I don’t feel like I know enough about the other characters to type them.

[simonsfish]

I want to talk about Sara, because there's this tendency to dismiss her part in her own relationship with August, like because she's maybe new to relationships and because she's neurodivergent, she got tricked into being with him or taken advantage of or something, and I'm just not seeing it.

At the end of s1, Sara is explicitly taking her own future in her hands. I think that's actually one of the reasons that August even considered her a possible partner - instead of acting in the interest of other people (namely, Simon), she cuts a deal with August that serves her own interests. I think he really values that attitude, that sometimes you need to sacrifice things to get ahead, and the importance of self-motivation to get the things you want. So in that moment, she's embodying in that moment the things he values.

I think the moment Sara gets interested in August is after he kisses her in the stables. She didn't care about him either way but once he shows that tiny bit of interest she starts to consider him. And Sara explicitly wants what Felice has in s1--she wants the fancy clothes and the living on campus and the rich people sensibilities and yeah, maybe the boyfriend, too. And then once she starts thinking about it, it's easy to want those things so badly that she starts acting in service of actually gaining those things, even if that means sacrificing something of her own moral compass.

By s2, she feels this connection with August because they're the only ones who know what he did, and the only ones who know what she did to get herself ahead and live at Hillerska. I think as she spends more time with the girls and gets more of the ideas of what you're supposed to feel with a boy you love, she wants to actually try that out. Like, in a really standard teen need to experience everything kind of way. Yeah, the fact that she's autistic (as am I, the author of this post) influences the fact that she doesn't know all of the things the other girls take for granted in re: sex and love and how to navigate things with boys. But it doesn't really have anything to do with her drive to want to experience those things, and it's not about innocence as much as her not having friends at her old school and being less experienced because of that (and I think probably Simon is a little too overprotective, a thing he can't be in s2 when she's living away from home).

I also think it's maybe worth mentioning, that the girls initially accept Sara into their friend group because Felice likes her but also because she's kind of an anomaly at this school--she's not rich, she does things differently, and she looks to them in a way they don't look at each other. So like when she's questioning things they all know, they're kind of treating it like aw, honey most of the time. Until she steps on a social norm that they don't like, and then it's well, she never knew how to act, of course not. (which, honestly kudos to YR because that is a very real experience)

Anyway, back to August. Sara has agency the whole way through, she's just making bad decisions. She goes to him because she wants to sleep with him, she spends time with him because she likes it. She's not a poor little girl who thinks she's in love but she's being taken advantage of, she's a girl in love who makes some bad decisions because of it. Like, teenage love is SO STRONG because it's usually a newer emotion, and YR shows how that strength of emotion can lead to both good and bad decisions.

Plus, August genuinely likes Sara, too. Partly that's because he assumes she's more like him than she actually is. And partly because it seems like his idea of dating is usually really tied into clout chasing (ahem, Felice) and how to hold his status. Sara doesn't offer him anything status-wise, she's just actually into him, and she might line up with him in terms of goals. That's gotta be refreshing. Also, I love the part where he calls himself King and her Queen before promising not to hurt her. Like, that just hammers home the idea that he sees her as an equal not in status but in terms of like. morals, I guess? And that she sees this kindness in him that she thinks only she gets to see because they're in love, not because he usually hides it away since it doesn't benefit him personally in the world he lives in.

This is reinforced when August buys Rousseau and thinks that will stop Sara from leaving him after she finds out how he's been threatening Simon and taking everything but accountability for his own actions. Legitimately, August seems to think that she will support him, because she supported him with this secret before, and because, like him, she wants the personal status gain and can understand why he acts the way he does. The horse should prove his love, and the other things are just par for the course, baby, you get it, right?

She doesn't, though, and this isn't the point where we should be going oh no, August has been tricking this poor girl and she just finally is taking her life in her hands. It's the point where both of them are like shit, you aren't the person I thought you were, and it's because both of them make these big sweeping assumptions because that's easier than questioning really strong feelings like love and potentially losing that love right away. Sara sees that he's not the person she thought, but in a lot of ways, her whole story has been in her control.

She's just like Simon--young and in love and making choices that might blow up in her face and might make her see she's been wearing those rose-colored love glasses. But hell, at the time, those choices were the only ones to make, those choices were hers to make. Just because she chose badly doesn't mean she wasn't really choosing.

I just really love Sara, and I love how her neurodivergence is woven into the fabric of her story lines, but it's not the biggest thing. It's just like, how she sees the world, but she's still responsible for her own actions, and she's acting on love just like everyone else. And in high school, sometimes that means being in love with a boy who genuinely isn't very good for you.

[the-trans-anon]

Insomanic Spider-Man and Revenge

Something that's really interesting to me is the theme of revenge in the insomanic games, so I wanted to go game-by-game and discuss how revenge is used. This post is gonna b long so putting a read more

Spider-Man (2018):

In the first game we have Martin Li and Doc Ock. Both completely destroy their lives in pursuit of revenge.

Martin Li goes against the values he formed FEAST with, completely betrays everyone who worked for him. He hates Norman Osborn because Norman killed his parent, but in his attempts at revenge Li does the exact same thing to not just Miles but SO many other familes. How many people do you think he killed in not just the bombing but also the many shootouts the Demons cause? In the Devils Breath plague? He wasn't the one who unleashed it in the end, but he still planned to.

Doc Ock falls down a very similar path. He takes a tool that was originally meant to help and heal, and uses it to hurt. In his desire to cause Norman's downfall, he not only brutally attacks and nearly kills one of his closest friends, but also kills SO many people with Devils Breath. And, completely unlike Li, he feels little to no remorse for it. Doc Ock feels like the people who died deserved it, because they put Norman in power.

In the DLC we also have Yuri, who turns against her friends and coworkers in her attempts to destroy Hammerhead, but Yuri is less about revenge destroying someone and more about a "the ends justify the means" mindset. While she does have a theme of revenge in her story, I feel like its less present in her actual character arc. She less destroys her life and more takes her life down a different path. She recognizes that the system can't give her what she views as justice and so decides to take it into her own hands.

Spider-Man: Miles Morales (2020):

Ok, Phin. We don't know a ton about Phin before she started working towards revenge, but from what's there: my interpretation is Phin ends up going against the values that her brother died for in her bid for revenge.

Phin's brother (his name escapes me) lived to help others, and the Second he realized his research was being used for not only capitalist greed but also harming people he wanted to put a stop to it. Phin, in attempting to finish what her brother started, completely loses sight of this original goal. She hurts people, a lot of people, including her closest friend, and almost basically sets off a bomb in Harlem.

Phin wasn't stupid, you can't convince me that some part of her didn't recognize the risks. She was so angry and so convinced that she was the right one that she ignored the harm she was doing until it was too late.

Spider-Man 2 (2023):

Peter's character arc in this game is a direct parallel of Doc Ock's arc in the first game. Thanks to the symbiote weaking Pete's self control, he wants revenge on Kraven and hurts the people around him in the process. He turns Harry's kindness against him, gives MJ the cold shoulder, and literally attacks Miles. He's angry and upset and he doesn't know how to handle it other than taking it all out on Kraven.

Similar to how the arms affected Doc Ock mentally, while the symbiote does affect Pete mentally the emotions and desires he feels are still very very real. In direct contrast to Doc Ock though, Pete is given a chance and he takes it.

Miles didn't save Peter, Peter saved himself. But if Miles hadn't been there and hadn't supported Peter, Peter never would've gotten rid of the symbiote. Miles said to Peter: "I know you're angry but you're hurting people who don't deserve this, you need to stop" and, unlike Doc Ock, Peter listened and took the steps necessary to bring himself away from that path.

Meanwhile, Miles ALSO has a big theme of stepping away from revenge. Miles' entire character arc in the second game is him looking at how others ruined their lives through a search for revenge, looking at his own desire for revenge, and saying "I'm good. I don't want to go down that path"

Miles comes close to killing Li at least twice. If he would've actually killed Li is debatable (I personally believe he wouldn't have), but there's two times where Miles has an opportunity to kill the person who put him and his family through so much suffering, and he considers it.

Miles wants Li to suffer, he wants Li to feel even a fraction of the pain Li made Miles feel, but by the end of the game Miles is able to recognize that that doesn't help him or him mom recover from what they went through, it just causes more pain. Miles decides that he doesn't want to hold onto that hate, that he wants to move on, and so he does. Which gives Miles one of the most emotionally mature character arcs in the entire series.

It looks like the theme of revenge is gonna continue into the third game, with Doc Ock wanting to make both Norman and Pete suffer, and Norman wanting to make the Spider-Men suffer. It's just really interesting how every game has dealt with this idea of the harm revenge can cause.

[nautilusopus]

as for my actual many many beefs with lily orchard, i've gone off on rants about her in the past but i'll do the short version here. a lot of it boils down to like

you know that one video dan olson did on world of warcraft, where he explains that people have difficulty articulating why people like the games they do so they just assume their stated values apply to things they like?

i like good video games

many video games generally considered good are considered good in part because of their high difficulty (eg bloodborne it's fantastic go play bloodborne everyone)

i like world of warcraft

therefore, world of warcraft must also be a difficult game, because i like it, and i like good games, and good games are hard games, so world of warcraft is good and therefore hard because i like it.

it's the same complete inability to extract one's own personal tastes from their own stated values except the stated values have now also been applied to a larger cultural movement of Righting Great Wrongs being the implicit first and only goal of producing only story, and that therefore good stories are vehicles for Righting Great Wrongs, so therefore bad stories aren't, et cetera et cetera

like, if you actually look at her """"writing tips"""" list i cannot put enough quotes around that, 95% of them are her just bitching about catradora specifically because she doesn't like catradora and is still mad at catra and wants her punished as a bad guy. and y'know what fine that's her prerogative but that has fuck-all to do with what objectively makes stories good and bad and it also isn't a failing of the story that it was about a different thing than she wanted it to be.

we're working with first grader level of media literacy here. if a character does a bad thing they need to be punished. who decides what a bad thing is? you're in luck we have literal exact numbers in a rigid strikes system (why is 10000 the cutoff? who the fuck knows). all texts are literal. authors are lying when they say their stories are planned and meant to convey anything, because they are all secretly using the low-stakes wattpad fanfiction model where they are writing to create a moral guide for their fans. all stories are here for ME and what I bring to it. there is a specific CORRECT way to write things in this, arguably the most case by case medium to ever exist. your duty as an author is to be righting those wrongs first and telling any kind of personal story second so your followers can have Content but see it's morally good content so it's not bratty of me to not only expect but demand certain things of writers.

what she also reminds me of is the kind of person that like to talk about how they are Extremely Logical when actually they've just convinced themselves their intensely emotional responses are logical ones, which you see a lot of in extremely conservative right wing circles, and yes i am making that comparison because she is effectively that, she's just put a gay hat on the conservativism and swapped up who is inherently wicked and what some of the sins (which are all equal to one another) are.

also WORDS MEAN THINGS YOU FUCK four hours on why steven universe, the show that got itself cancelled in the name of getting a lesbian wedding on air in a kid's show, is actually clear and obvious fascist propaganda because the kid's show argued that even bad people could change and didn't agree the first priority of the revolution is to pick who to line up against the wall (which is, y'know, a super non-fascist thing to want)

i'm trying to avoid ad hominem here, but the things she's said do not paint a very flattering picture of her or how she views the world at all. these are the writing tips of someone who (in MY OPINION) is incredibly juvenile, unwilling to take away anything from a story that she did not come here to receive in the first place or meet it on its own terms because if she is here to be comforted and thinks if a story isn't here to do that it's a flaw with the story, sees all disappointments as something someone is At Fault for overall, is completely incapable of handling any sort of nuance on any subject because she wants to always be correct speaking to some deeply rooted insecurities, and is utterly incurious about what the world is like for other people and in fact finds it a personal affront for anyone even trying to share those experiences directly or indirectly despite claiming to champion diversity as not just something we should encourage but MANDATORY for all writers (so long as it is the Correct Portrayal).

anyone clowns in the notes and i block you lol we're not getting into steven universe discourse OR whatever fucking allegations are going on. i don't know, i wasn't there, it's none of my goddamn business. i haven't even fucking seen she-ra i do not care about it.