#she has a lot of weapons woo

[sanarsi]

Birthday present

Javier Peña x f!Reader

Summary: You're the daughter of one of Columbia's godfathers. Agent Peña decides to surprise you on your twenty-fifth birthday. Warnings: +18, MDNI, protected PIV, car sex, age gap (10y), reader has tattoo, pet names (baby, cariño, princesa), dirty talk, mention of corrupt family, violence Wordcount: 5,3k An: English isn’t my first language so I’m sorry for possibly misunderstanding. Hope you’ll enjoy xx Music I worked with: MAMACITA - Black Eyed Peas, Ozuna, J. Rey Soul / Alibi - Sevdaliza, Pabllo Vittar, Yseult / LA FAMA - ROSALÍA, The Weeknd

Masterlist

Javier's informants usually did not disappoint.

And he was one of those who often put everything on one card. Either he will succeed or will have to try hard to succeed.

That's what led him to this moment. An opportunity to get closer to you than ever before. To get you to cooperate.

Latin music played softly on the radio as Javier calmly drove away from the city center. From time to time he glanced in the mirror to fix his mustache and hair. He had to look good enough to catch your attention. He had to try harder for a while even though he wasn't being paid for it. But Javier was as dedicated to his work as anyone else. Sometimes it could be called his flaw but he didn’t cared about what others thought.

The car stopped in one of the side streets leading to a seaside bar. The bar where you celebrated your birthday.

Javier looked at his reflection one last time and dabbed his skin with aftershave. A strong masculine scent wafted through the car. The perfect weapon for his hunt for an evening companion. He didn't doubt his abilities and that he would be able to woo you too.

Relaxed, he moved towards the muffled music. He was passed by several people who clearly wanted to continue having fun in a more private place. Javier smiled to himself, feeling that he would be lucky today and his intuition never failed him.

From a distance he could already see the outline of people dancing on the dance floor. The music was getting louder and people's conversations began to drown out his own thoughts. Even though he was tired, this was what brought him relief. Finally, his attention was focused on something other than work. Even if that's exactly what he came here for. Work.

Javier walked up to the bar and nodded to the bartender. “Whiskey,” he said, and wasting no time, he started slowly looking around at the people standing closest to him. You weren't here.

His eyes immediately fell on the dance floor. A lot of people. Definitely too much for a small bar by the water.

Javier might have been fooling himself a lot, but he couldn't deny that he loved the energy here. Or at least the energy from the people who simply live here. Having fun and living life to the fullest. If it weren't for all the crap he dealt with, Columbia would be heaven.

Barman placed a glass of whiskey next to him, so he handed him a few bills and took his first sip of alcohol. This was what he needed after a long day at the office.

He slowly savored his drink when his eyes fell on the girl in the middle of the dance floor. He tilted his head to get a better view between dancing couples and slowly ran his gaze down her entire body. The blood red dress hugged her body tightly and several ruffles fluttered with every movement of her hips. His gaze stopped for a moment on her lush hips, which had a lot of life in them.

Javier gulped as he watched how the dress barely covered her ass. Still, she didn't seem to care and was definitely testing the durability of the piece of fabric that gave a lot to the imagination.

His eyes moved lower to her legs and black high heels. A small tattoo on her ankle caught his attention. A light immediately went on in his head. His instincts never failed him, and this time was no exception. It was you. He spotted you like a predator and wasn't going to waste any time from attacking you.

He drank the entire contents of the glass at once and took a deep breath before moving towards you. Someone bumped into him several times, but no one even bothered to notice. Not that Javier cared. His attention was only on you.

The way your fingers disappeared into your hair.

The way your hands slid down your body.

The way your lips moved with every word of the song.

Oh he could get high from this view…

The song changed and this gave him the perfect opportunity to attack. His hand placed itself on your hip, which caught your attention. You opened your eyes, pulled out of your dancing trance, and looked over your shoulder at your attacker.

With a smirk, Javier slowly walked around you to face you. Your eyes immediately began to carefully scan his face to assess whether he was worth your time.

"Such a beautiful woman shouldn’t dance alone," he spoke first. A smile appeared on your lips as this text quickly convinced you to him. You glanced to the side so Javier did the same.

Away from the crowd stood a man watching you carefully. All you had to do was gently nod your head towards him and he immediately relaxed and sat down at the table and started talking to another guy. Javier immediately calculated in his head that there were two bodyguards with you.

Nothing he couldn't handle.

“So let's hope you can dance,” your voice caught his attention. His smirk widened as he tightened his grip around your waist, bringing your frames together. You placed your hand in his and wrapped your other arm around his shoulder. You lifted your chin to keep eye contact with him as he slowly started leading, making your hips move.

You danced the first song in silence. Javier knew you were judging his skills as you stared into each other's eyes with every move. Your noses were brushing against each other and there was almost no space between you.

You felt his thigh between yours as he guided the movements of your hips and you liked the fact that he can lead in dancing. You could finally have fun with someone who lived up to your expectations. And that's what convinced you to continue having fun with him.

“I'm surprised men can still dance,” you said with a laugh as he turned you around once again and pulled you closer to him. Javier was smiling widely as he looked at you, and he'd be lying if he said he was having a bad time.

"Real men can do this and more," he replied with his professional pick-up tone.

You raised your eyebrows with a wide smile, amused by his words. You knew this tone in men very well.

Javier spun you around a few times and pulled you closer to him again. He had to admit that he loved the closeness of Latin dancing. He could shamelessly hold your hips tightly against his and grind you against his thigh.

“Care to tell me what you mean?” you asked innocently, observing his eyes closely.

Javier spun you around and pulled your back against him. You felt his hard chest on your back and after a moment his arms wrapped around you tightly again, making your hips move. You smiled to yourself as you felt his hot breath on your neck.

“A real man will take care of a woman not only in dancing,” he whispered in your ear and his hands slid to your hips, digging his fingers into your skin. You smiled wider as he turned you around to face him again in one move. You wrapped your arms around his neck and Javier leaned closer, nuzzling your nose. You rocked your hips in silence for a moment, watching each other.

“Oh, I see,” you nodded with a soft laugh and let him turn you around. He embraced you and grabbed your hand, slowly taking steps to the beat. "You mean yourself or..."

“Myself,” he cut you off halfway through. You smiled and nodded, hitting your heels and the dance floor with every step.

“You have a high opinion of yourself…” you started to say and stopped at the end, raising an eyebrow.

“Javier,” he finished for you.

“You have a high opinion of yourself, Javier,” you repeated so as not to forget his name in a moment.

"It's just the facts, baby," he said, wanting to sound indifferent.

And he sounded... like an overconfident pick-up artist.

You raised your eyebrows with a smile and nodded. Javier sensed that you were allergic to idiots who wanted to get you into bed. He had to do something more.

“Why have I never seen you here before?”

“I rarely come here,” you replied with a shrug and a soft smile.

“So today is a special occasion I assume,” he noted, slowly leading you across the dance floor. You laughed sweetly at his words, making him smile too.

“Yeah, actually,” you nodded, “it's my birthday today,” you explained. Javier was a born actor, so he had no problem feigning surprise. Of course, you believed it.

“Well well,” he smacked his lips in the air and ran his eyes down your entire body, “But I'm not surprised at all. You don't come across women like you every day," he added with a smirk and pulled you closer again. “Let me buy you a drink.”

"I don't know if—"

“As a birthday present,” he interrupted you, raising his eyebrows encouragingly. He looked at you like a dog, waiting for you to submit to him. And you gave in. You laughed sweetly, shaking your head.

"Let it be."

Javier smiled broadly and grabbed your hand before heading towards the bar. You sat down at the bar with a wide smile and Javier was not shy about being close to you. He immediately wrapped his arms around your waist, gluing himself to your side. He waved towards barman and you watched his every move carefully.

The way his face became serious when he ordered you drinks.

The way his gaze immediately stuck to your eyes right after.

The way his thumb gently traced your hip.

It was all intended to distract you.

“So what birthday is it? Eighteenth?” he asked, looking down at you. You rolled your eyes at his words but snorted under your breath anyway.

“Twenty-fifth,” you replied, wrinkling your nose with a smile. Barman placed the drinks next to you, so Javier immediately downed one for you.

“Then let's drink to your eighth-eighteenth birthday,” he toasted with a smile. You laughed at his words and clinked glasses with him. You both tensed without breaking eye contact. You grimaced at the taste of strong alcohol and he chuckled.

“It was supposed to be a drink, not straight vodka,” you noticed with laugh and took another sip. Javier watched you carefully, hoping you were weak in the head because, unfortunately for him, you didn't seem stupid.

"It's not appropriate to refuse a gift," he noted with a smirk, slowly sipping his drink. You rolled your eyes and took another sip of your damn strong drink with feigned pleasure.

“Thank you for the present, Javier,” you said with forced politeness. He chuckled at your reaction.

"De nada querida."

Thanks to his gift, you were tongue-tied pretty quickly and you spent half an hour talking nonsense at the bar. Javier listened with interest to everything you said and responded to make you say even more and it wasn't until you finished your second drink that he took you dancing again.

And if Javier thought you didn't limit yourself before, you were a beast now. Latin dance has only now gained everything it was about. And it was no longer an ordinary dance. It was literally just sex.

Your noses touched, breathing heavily against each other's lips as Javier guided your hips. Another bead of sweat was already dripping from his forehead after dancing a few songs intensely. And he'd be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying himself because he hadn't spent such an intense evening, out of bed, with such a beautiful woman for a long time. And he would be lying if he said that your proximity and the alcohol didn't affect him.

He turned you around, and only when you clung tightly to him again, you feel that he was half-hard. And it certainly didn't stop you from rolling your hips right next to his. Javier couldn't help but let out a soft moan that disappeared into your hair. You smiled blissfully, knowing the effect you had on him and you couldn't have expected how much it stroked your ego.

His hand covered your lower abdomen and the other covered your chest. You felt trapped and didn't complain at all. You deliberately moved under his touch and movements, even when you felt his lips near your ear.

"You're playing dirty," he whispered in a hoarse voice and then placed a gentle kiss just below the ear.

A wave of shivers ran through your body at this act of closeness, and you were unable to resist as your head fell on his shoulder on its own. Javier immediately took advantage of the situation and ran his hand from your chest to your neck. His lips slowly began to place wet kisses on your neck and you smiled widely as his closeness bounced between your thighs.

“I got it from my dad,” you replied in a whisper, not really thinking about what you were saying.

“Is he naughty too?” he asked next to your ear and gently bit the lobe. You sighed louder and murmured a quiet affirmation. Now you didn't trust your words anymore. “He should teach you how to behave,” he continued and pressed his hand harder against your stomach. Your hips pressed further into his, allowing you to feel him more clearly. You parted your lips so as not to moan and swallowed saliva, which he immediately felt under his hand.

He had you in his grasp.

“If your dad didn't teach you this, I'll be happy to do it for him,” he whispered and gently bit into your neck.

You smiled broadly and blissfully at the feeling, but it quickly disappeared when Javier spun you around again and this time you fell into his arms, not expecting such a sudden move. You giggled to yourself, hugging his neck again as his hands moved to your hips. You looked up at him, immediately noticing that he was no longer smiling. He looked at you… thirsty. And you couldn't help but have fun.

You ran your fingers along his neck, following your every move with your eyes. You touched his jaw until your thumb was able to graze his lower lip. You smiled when, without any resistance, he opened his mouth and placed a gentle kiss on your fingertip.

Javier might have complained, but he could honestly admit that he was enjoying the game of cat and mouse. It was a nice change from the prostitutes who did whatever he wanted. It was nice to have a taste of winning someone's heart from time to time.

“Ven conmigo,” he whispered without thinking. He liked the tension between the two of you, but he honestly couldn't and didn't want to resist the urge to claim you in his bed or anywhere you let him.

“If only it were that simple…” you sighed with an innocent smile. Javier moved closer to you and ran his nose over yours. He kept his eyes glued to your mouth as his mustache brushed against your lips. His hot breath bounced off your skin as you watched him closely.

You didn't even notice that you had been just standing in the middle of the dance floor for some time. Everyone around was dancing exuberantly and you were absorbed in each other as if there was no one around.

“It wasn't a question,” he whispered against your lips and you both locked eyes at the same moment. Your pulse quickened as you realized you might have gone too far. You've never allowed yourself so much but apparently you forgot yourself a bit this time.

“Trust me, you don't want this,” you tried to discourage him but still you couldn't pull away or even push him away.

“Why wouldn't I?” he asked, completely unconcerned by your words. “If you had a boyfriend he would be here with you so it's definitely not that. I don't see any other reason why I would give up the opportunity to turn those sweet eyes inside out," he purred, nuzzling your nose.

You smiled and looked away for a moment. You had to admit to yourself that you wanted him. He was charming and you were too susceptible to that. You looked back at him, feeling reluctant that you had to reject him.

For his own good.

“My father doesn't like it when men want to claim me,” you started, hoping it would discourage him, but he didn't seem bothered by your words. “I want to spare you a bullet in your head,” you added, raising an eyebrow with more certainty.

“I'll take a chance,” he replied with a smug grimace, and without waiting for your response, he pressed his lips to yours. You were in shock for a moment, but it quickly passed, replaced by desire.

Javier sighed contently as you kissed him back. His hand quickly found itself in your hair, pulling you even closer. You didn't resist when he slipped into your mouth like it belonged to him. He tasted like cigarettes and mint unlike your sweet lips. He kissed you lazily and deeply. He took his time tasting you and took advantage of every second you submitted to his movements.

He finally pulled away from you, but only for a moment. He glanced to the side to see where your bodyguards were, so you did the same. They were busy talking to each other instead of keeping an eye on you.

This was his chance.

He grabbed your hand and leaned close to your ear.

“Give me fifteen minutes,” he whispered and pulled away to look at you. You glanced at the security guards again and back at Javier. It took you less than a second to make your decision. You nodded gently, which was immediately met with his reaction. In a few seconds, you were out of reach of the dancing people and out of the sight of men who were supposed to protect you from such situations. Luck was in the agent's favor.

You tried to keep up with him, but your shoes were of no help. Javier glanced at you over his shoulder and with a smirk on his lips, he wrapped his arms around your waist tightly to help you a little.

You glanced over your shoulder towards the bar but didn't see anything that might catch your attention. They haven't noticed you've disappeared yet. You smiled to yourself because it meant you actually had a chance to have some fun.

Before you knew it, you stopped at one of the cars. Javier unlocked the door and opened it for you. With an encouraging smile, he offered his hand to help you inside. You accepted his help like a proper lady. Your pulse quickened as the door slammed shut and Javier appeared in the driver's seat. You swallowed, watching as he closed the door and pushed his seat back. He straightened up with a sigh and looked at you with a smirk.

“Fifteen minutes, start,” he said and leaned towards you, connecting your lips.

This time he started more aggressively. He tangled his fingers in your hair, deepening the kiss, which gained momentum with every second. You moaned into his mouth, feeling the lack of air begin to cripple your lungs. And that's when Javier pulled away, only to grab your thigh and pull you on top of him. He did it so naturally that you didn't even have to make an effort when you sat on his thighs. His hands were immediately on your hips, pulling you even closer. You spread your legs further as he pressed you against him and connected your lips again.

You tangled your fingers in his hair, pulling it, making him growl against your lips. The sound echoed between your thighs in a wave of tension.

His hands immediately went to work, pushing your dress up to your waist. You moaned into his mouth as he squeezed your cheeks.

“So soft,” he murmured against your lips and moved his hands down to your thighs. His fingers squeezed every inch of your body that happened to be within his reach.

You didn't have to wait long before you felt his fingers trailing down the inside of your thighs. You didn't even hold back your panting into his mouth due to the sweet anticipation that was pulsing throughout your body. You inhaled louder as his two fingers ran from the very bottom up your pussy, collecting all the wetness that had managed to escape from you. Javier growled, gripping your hip tightly.

“You haven't worn damn panties all evening,” he announced, running over your wet hole once more. His cock twitched in his pants at the thought of having you at his fingertips all evening, and you who knew it very well. “Shameless girl,” he growled, sliding two fingers into you.

You moaned, throwing your head back and he immediately attacked your neck. He placed wet kisses and nibbled at your skin as his hand worked wonders between your legs. His fingers slowly moved in and out of your pussy. Wet sounds and your moans filled the car, instantly raising the temperature.

Javier didn't waste time because he didn't have enough of it.

Enough to satisfy you but not enough to enjoy you.

He reached with his free hand towards the glove compartment and took out a pack of condoms. You were too busy to even notice that his mouth disappeared from your neck for a moment so that he could open the package with his teeth. His fingers worked wonders inside you, slowly flexing at the point that made his palm wet.

You opened your eyes as you began to miss the feeling of his lips on your skin. You looked down just as he finished putting on the condom. Your pulse quickened even more when he looked up at you.

“Come on, baby,” he encouraged, pulling his fingers out of you. “Lift your hips for me,” he ordered, running them over your clit.

You moaned softly and immediately obeyed his command. You felt him shift restlessly beneath you, positioning himself perfectly at your entrance.

You didn't need his command to slowly lower yourself onto his cock. For a moment, you lacked the strength to make any sound. Only when you sat on him with your full weight, you moan loudly. Javier watched with parted lips and heavy breathing as his cock disappeared inside you.

“You're so fuckin’ tight, baby,” he moaned and pulled you closer to him, connecting your lips in an intense kiss. You tightened your fingers in his hair and he gripped your hips. “Dance for me,” he whispered against your lips and dug his fingers into your flesh, forcing you to move.

You slowly began to ride him as his lips stayed on yours and his arms held you tightly against him. You moaned softly into his mouth as you set the perfect pace, rolling your hips on his cock.

But it wasn't enough for him. That's why he started pushing his hips towards you. You both began to pant heavily into each other's mouths as Javier entered you with strong thrusts.

“Oh… fuck yes, baby,” he growled, feeling you tighten around his cock with every movement of his hips.

You leaned back against the steering wheel, trying to follow his movements. His gaze fell between your bodies and he watched contentedly as his cock disappeared into your pussy again and again. The wet sound that accompanied it was like something from pure porn.

“She's so pretty with my cock inside her,” he said, his voice laced with sex and you could only moan louder. Your hands grabbed onto anything they could to give you a sense of stability. Javier began to moan softly as he entered you faster and faster.

Your eyes fell on the inside of the car for a moment. You panted heavily, looking around until your eyes landed on something shiny. Despite the darkness, you were able to easily make out the shape of the badge. Your hip movements began to slow down as you looked back at the man who was currently inside you. You breathed heavily, looking at him carefully.

“No, no, baby. Don’t slow down,” he groaned in disappointment and looked at you. Only after a while he notice that you were looking at him as if you were seeing him for the first time and, what's worse, you froze in silence. Javier frowned, breathing heavily. "What’s wrong, cariño?" he asked confused.

"What do you do for living?" you asked simply.

Javier was silent for a moment, then he understood. He turned and looked at the badge lying on the backseat. Fuckin’ hell. He sighed heavily and looked at you again. There was no point in lying.

“I'm a DEA agent,” he told you, his cock twitching inside you in anticipation. You slowly calmed your breathing as everything that was happening started to sink in.

You were fucking an agent who probably wanted to get information from you.

You felt a wave of cold wash over you, making you involuntarily tighten around his cock and he groaned at the feeling.

You straightened up slowly, keeping your cold gaze on him and with one movement you swung your hand, hitting him on the cheek. His cock twitched inside you again at the sudden blow, but he didn't speak. For a moment, he didn't even dare to look your way.

But when he did and opened his mouth to speak, he was hit a second time. This time he had to move his jaw to relax, and only then did he look at how calm and angry you were at the same time.

“Maldito hijo de puta…” you started, wanting to call him the worst names, but he quickly cut you off. His hands tightened on your thighs, which caught your attention.

“I just want to help you,” he started gently and you frowned. You didn't know whether to laugh or punch him in the face again.

“I don't want your help,” you growled.

You felt his arm wrap tightly around your waist, holding you in place. Not that you were struggling, but he wanted to make sure you wouldn't pull away when his other hand pressed between your bodies.

“It wasn't a business proposition, princesa,” he said confidently. You opened your mouth to argue with him but you felt his fingers on your clit; instead of words and curses, a surprised moan came out.

Javier watched your reaction carefully, slowly massaging the small spot that could render you speechless.

“I can get you a new life,” he continued, completely indifferent to the fact that you were trying to catch your breath. "Away from the crap your father deals with."

“Vete a la mierda,” you choked out and he pressed his fingers harder. You moaned louder as you felt his movements begin to have the desired effect.

“That's what I'm doin’,” he replied confidently. He watched carefully as your eyes closed and your lips parted in pleasure. He felt everything he was doing to you, every squeeze of your pussy made him shiver. “Think about it, cariño, new identity, no killing and no drugs. Normal life." He sped up his finger movements, feeling your hips thrust towards him. Your body sold without much problem, but at least you could think straight.

“You want me to sell myself like a puta,” you pointed out. Javier growled under his breath, but not because of your words.

“I want you to buy a better life for yourself with a few pieces of information.”

“Nicely said,” you snorted under your breath in disdain at his words.

“You're a smart girl, I believe you know deep down that my proposal is mutually beneficial,” he continued, but your attention was focused on your building orgasm. You started breathing faster, focusing on him, afraid that one wrong move and you would lose the long-awaited fulfillment. "You have to promise me that you will think about my proposal."

"Or what?" You raised an eyebrow, waiting for his response, but he just stopped moving his fingers. You felt your orgasm slowly fade into oblivion. “Mierda… okay, okay, I will think about it,” you growled, furious. Javier smiled with satisfaction because it was enough for him for now.

He moved his lips closer to you and touched your clit again, the feeling of your orgasm building again. You didn't need much this time. You started rocking your hips gently for additional stimulus that was still deep inside you. Your slow movements of your hips and his fingers combined in a pleasurable race for fulfillment. You mentally cursed how much you hated yourself and the agent under you. You felt like a traitor, but luckily his touch drowned out your remorse.

You moaned softly into his mouth and he drank it like the most expensive whiskey. Your hips sped up a bit, chasing the pleasure that was about to reach its peak at any moment.

“Oh yes, baby, I can feel she wants to cum,” he moaned into your mouth. These words sent chills throughout your body, straight to your crotch. "And I will only let her because I am close too."

You moaned louder and your hands quickly found their way to his hair. You clenched your fingers tightly, moving your hips faster. Chasing your orgasm, you even ignored the way Javier gently stroked your back in anticipation of your fulfillment.

“Come on, baby,” he moaned and began to move his fingers more intensely on your throbbing clit.

A few moves and it was all over.

A few movements of your hips and you froze motionless.

A few movements of your hips and your body shook with shivers of fulfillment.

You squealed into his mouth, feeling your hips shake from your intensely sweet orgasm. You tightened around his cock again and again, making him groan throatily.

“Fuck— good girl,” he choked out, wrapping his arms around your waist tightly. You moved your hips once more to get comfortable on him. This, combined with the passing orgasm, finished him off as well.

You felt his cock inside you start to throb again and again and his kiss became harder, almost crushing your lips. You squealed softly, but he drowned you out when he finally growled throatily in satisfaction.

You stayed in silence for a few minutes, calming your breathing and collecting your thoughts. Javier was furious at his mistake because he hoped that your conversation would turn out differently. But there was nothing he could do now to change the past.

But all you cared about was that you fucked a fuckin’ DEA agent.

“Will you consider my proposal?” he finally asked and pulled away to look at you. In silence, you glanced at his eyes and face and nodded gently.

"Yes."

But you weren't really going to spend even a second on it.

[fishermanshook]

SH4RK B!TES !!

( ellen joe ) + gn!reader

୧⋆｡🪭. -ʚɞ relationship h/c’s , friends to lovers , grammar and spelling warning

INTRO

Never one to think she had the time or energy to spend on relationships that ventured out of the comfort zone of “friends”, Ellen Joe can’t remember the last romantic relationship she shared with somebody in the past four years.

But then, you come into the picture, and everything [including how she’s ever felt towards anyone before] changes for the greater good.

꒰wc꒱ 856

✧ Ellen Joe, the newest member of Victoria Housekeeping and one of the most popular girls in her school, has never once thought of love. Okay, maybe that’s bending the truth a bit. She has thought of it, and on more than one occasion, but the shark is already busy enough. Ellen’s been tied up with school work, her friends, and most importantly, a work field she keeps hidden from all. She holds the friends she has tightly knitted to her and isn’t one to take up new activities without good reason. She truly just doesn’t have the time for it.

✧ Ellen Joe who, as oblivious as ever, doesn’t pick up on her own growing feelings until one of her friends asks her about it. A “close friend” has now become something seemingly more than that, and she [plus the entire school atp] wants to learn more about it. Overall, it’s an awkward conversation that ultimately ends in the shark realizing her “new” feelings.

↳ Unless you’re the most oblivious person in New Eridu, her affection towards you isn’t well hidden. A slight blush accompanied by a small smile appears on her face when you appear by her side. Ellen’s tail sways quicker than usual as she tries to calm it along with her ever-reddening face.

“You even gave them your last lollipop! What do you mean you didn’t realize you liked them?” Her friend asks with confusion and a bit of rage laced in her voice. “I’ve been your best friend since freshman year and you’ve never once given me a lollipop, let alone your last.”

“I was feeling nice…I hadn’t realized it truly meant something. But the more that I think about it, I guess I do like them. Like, a lot.” Ellen realizes.

✧ Ellen Joe who confesses her feelings to you in front of a sunset background on the top of her school. It’s the only place she can think of that will spare her just a bit of privacy from the prying eyes of others. She hides her face behind her tail as she reveals her feelings towards you, and is met with a kiss on the lips as a confirmation that her feelings are mutual.

✧ Ellen Joe isn’t one to delve much into the romantics outside of the privacy of her own home, or at least with the two of you alone. The most that she will do for you in public is hold your hand while she walks you to your next class.

↳ Ellen seems like one to not enjoy physical affection, but when she’s away from the crowd [mostly people that she knows], she becomes much more affectionate. Pressing soft, little kisses to the temples of your forehead before slinking her arms around your waist, pulling you in closer as the two of you cuddle on her bead.

✧ Ellen Joe who, despite her lack of physical affection in public, wants people to know that you are at least taken by her. She doesn’t want to rub it in the face of anyone, but as long as people know that you and her are a thing, she feels a bit more at ease. It’s the knowledge that nobody’s going to be trying to woo you in any shape or form. And if they were to? Well, you’d have to make sure you hold her back.

↳ Ellen is such a sucker for seeing you wear items of her own. It yet again signals to all who your amazing girlfriend is. A handmade bracelet adorns her right wrist at all times, and a homemade trinket made from red gems dangles on the end of her weapon when she fights. A reminder for her to keep her head held high as she pierces through enemies and reaps the rewards. [her paycheck.]

✧ Ellen Joe who is [slightly rightfully so] protective over you. Her job, while a well-paying job, puts Ellen and her loved ones at risk: including you. She’s always scanning the area around the two of you, looking out for any particularly suspicious people. Do they have a weapon on them? Do they have bad intentions? She’s paranoid either way, and you have to give her hand a tight squeeze to bring her back to reality.

“Yes, there are bad people in the world, but no, no one is out to get us [at least right now].” You state, kissing her on the cheek. The last part you keep to yourself, there’s no need to keep her worried. She grumbles and mutters something under her breath before taking your hand in hers.

✧ Ellen Joe, the newest member of Victoria Housekeeping and one of the most popular girls in her school, hates to admit that you’ve stolen her heart.

note: hiiiii…*bats my eyes cutely* I wrote this before seeing the natlan trailer and wow it’s…something!!! love Ellen, dislike hoyo

© fishermanshook — no stealing , translating , plagiarizing or reposting my work on other any other sites + reblogs adored !!

[angelwings-crossbowstrings]

I Know I’m Bad News (I Saved It All for You) Chapter 1

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Typical TWD Violence and Gore; panty sniffing; allusions to r*pe

The end of the world was not really an ideal event for anyone, and while surely everyone thought their resulting situation was the worst imaginable, you were truly adamant in your belief that your life was the epitome of disastrous. You had been alone for years, having no one and nowhere to turn while cities crumbled and people died all around you. You had done the only logical thing you could. 

You ran.  

And you kept running. 

You stopped when the hunger pains became unbearable. You stopped when your bladder was so full that it might explode. You stopped when exhaustion was weighing heavily on your body. And you stopped when hiding became necessary. 

You had hidden from them. The group of men that were razing the building as they grabbed anything useful, including your bag. 

“Joe! Joe, look at these clothes!” One of the men grinned while sniffing your underwear. “It’s a woman.”

“And by the looks of it, she was here recently.” The older man—Joe, it seemed—noted while lifting one of the packs of crackers you had been in the middle of looting. You had thrown them down as you ran to hide—the location of the package directing them straight to your hiding place. “Come on out, now.”

Sighing, you uncurled yourself and lowered your legs out of the air duct, hopping down to straighten with your hands held up to show you weren’t armed. “Just take what you want and go.”

Joe gazed around with an abrupt burst of laughter that was echoed by the other men. “Oh, we will.” Stepping toward you, he arched a brow when you did nothing more than square your shoulders. “Woo, boys. This one’s gonna be fun to play with. Claimed.”

He reached for you suddenly, mid-step, his intentions unclear but no doubt nefarious. It didn’t matter. Snagging his wrist, you used his own momentum to not only evade him but to spin him back to face his men, their weapons already being drawn and aimed. 

You were faster. 

With his arm now twisted behind his back and pulled upward, you had strategically pulled your own handgun from the back of your jeans, the muzzle pressed against his temple. 

“Put ‘em down.” You spat. When no one made an effort to oblige, you pulled upwards on his trapped limb and ground the cold metal against his skin. 

“Do it, boys.” Joe’s calmness surprised you, but you were wise enough not to grant them a visible confirmation. “Listen, sweetheart. There’s a lot more of us than you. Those odds just don’t seem fair.”

“Fair to who?” You taunted. 

The man scoffed. “You sure do have some spunk, I’ll give ya that.” He tried to adjust his position but your grip only tightened. He was bigger, stronger, but your weapon gave you the advantage. “There’s only one ending here. Put down the gun, let me go. I’ll make sure they’re gentle.” You curled your lip in a disgusted snarl. “Or they’ll put a few bullets in you and we’ll have you anyway. Them’s your choices.”

Your head tilted, you feigned consideration of his ���offer,” laughable as it was. “How about I shoot you, then them, one by one?”

“Lady, can’tcha see how many guns we got on you right now?” Another man chimed. 

“Oh, I see them.” You confirmed. “I also see that one has the safety on, three of you aren’t even holding them right, and all of you can’t stop looking at my tits long enough to even try for a decent shot.” Your laughter startled them, their smiles fading. “This guy’d be dead and I’d have a bullet in each of you before you could hit me with one.”

“Oh, yeah? I say you’re bluffin’.” 

The words had no more than left his lips before the shots rang out. A bullet directly between his eyes, one in each shoulder, and in each knee before he hit the ground. Joe scrambled away from you, his arm now free. You kept your composure, your stoicism schooled in place, practiced from a former life of abuse and difficult choices. 

“Anyone else wanna call my bluff?” You asked, a brow lifted in challenge. 

Joe was helped to his feet, rubbing his shoulder as soon as he was standing. He regarded you silently, the others shifting about nervously. 

“Whatcha want us to do, Joe?”

“Well,” he started, but you were quick to interject. 

“You can turn around and walk out those doors. You go your way and I go mine.” It wasn’t a request. The older man stared, incredulous, before his face broke into a grin and laughter bubbled out of him. 

“Or,” He contested. You rolled your eyes and ground your teeth. He was really starting to get on your nerves. “Way I see it, I’m down a man now since you took out ol’ Billy there.” He waved a lazy hand toward the body. “Why don’tcha just come with us?”

“I thought we established that I have no interest in being your fuck toy.” You hissed. 

“Not like that.” He motioned for the men to lower their weapons. “Join us. We take care of our own.” Wagging a finger at you, he started turning to walk out. “Think you might be a fine replacement.” The men parted to let him pass, his invitation left hanging in the air. “Let’s go, boys.”

“But, Joe, she—”

“Wait.” You called out, lowering your gun, only slightly. “Just—hold up.”

You weren’t the first to notice him, but you weren’t far behind the others, Joe at your side. The man was just sitting, cross-legged, in the middle of the road, his head down, shoulders slumped. Defeated. A crossbow laid at his knee. 

He was a pretty one with an air of danger about him. Your time with Joe’s Claimers made you appreciate the rugged men you’d come across. They were always the most entertaining and fought the hardest against the men with which you traveled. The ones before, however, would always be spouting some cocky, desperate bullshit by now. 

This one hadn’t said a word or even moved beyond looking up at the individuals now surrounding him. You hung back, getting a feel for him and how to—even if you should—approach. Sometimes you were the bait, luring men and women into a false sense of security before the group would pounce. It was one of your many roles. 

You actually startled when the man punched Joe and grabbed the crossbow. He moved so fast. While Joe didn’t seem angry—even told the boys to stand down—he was still in the sights of the stranger’s weapon. 

Oh well. Their way didn’t work, so it was your turn. You weren’t about to let them kill one that you really wanted a chance to play with. 

“Wait!” You called, placing yourself between Joe and the business end of the weapon. You knew what to watch for, the eyes would always tell on them, but while in others, you had seen fear, intrigue, and sometimes even desire, this one only seemed to look at you with something akin to sadness. You took note and filed that away for later. “I know you don’t wanna kill me.”

“You don’t know nothin’.”

Oh. His voice was just as rugged as his appearance. “I know you won’t kill me.” You bravely—or stupidly—put your finger on the tip of the bolt. “Why don’t you put this down,—” you drew out the last word and tilted your head in request of his name. Your fingertip still rested against the bolt. 

The man hesitated, the wheels turning as he scrutinized you. You couldn’t help but be impressed. This was a man who could read people as well as you could. Luckily for you, you were a master at shielding your emotions. After a moment of tense silence, he lowered the crossbow. 

“Daryl.”

“Hi, Daryl. I’m Y/N.” 

Len used the butt of his rifle to drop Daryl at your feet, a wicked smile curving the corners of your mouth. 

“And I’m about to have so much fun.” Looking around at the others, they laughed while Harley reached for the crossbow. With a step forward, you placed a foot on Daryl’s hand and pointed at the weapon.

“Claimed.”

[1moreff-creator]

DRDT Chapter 2 Episode 14: First Impressions

Episode 14!!! If Ep 11 really was the 70% mark (apparently the dev said that but don’t quote me on it, I saw it in a YT comment), then it only goes up to Ep 16. In the first trial, the culprit was revealed in Ep 10, then Ep 11 was their final defense as the class unraveled all the remaining mysteries, and Ep 12 was mostly post-trial. If the pattern repeats, this might be the episode we get our culprit reveal!!! And it seems likely, with the forty minute mark. So excited!!!

Also fine if it doesn’t happen if course, but we’ll see!

Spoilers for CH2 EP14. CW: Hanging, murder, Eden!Culprit and Ace!Culprit discussion, blood and wires.

Nico! Nico! Explain the blood on the wires and my life is yours!!! I’m still surprised Teruko got “hanging” out of that crime scene to be honest.

Ace is so funny. He’s technically right that people should ask the victim and not just the killer, but he has nothing to offer.

“That’s why she didn’t ask you.” J really is becoming the voice of reason huh?

“It’s hard to remember the evidence.” (Paraphrased). Eden.

[Teruko lists the evidence] And… she omitted the tape. Yeah, the trial would get pretty derailed if Rose noticed the oddity there right away.

Wow, immediately Rebuttal Showdown let’s go! Really cool Hu animation. I wonder if she’ll end up being the Ace attacker or not? She could still just be defending Nico because.

“That’s why I have to interrogate Nico.” I love the voice acting, the chillest Rebuttal Showdown ever so far xD

[Sword Reveal] Fan?… Oh, because the fan being broken implies a hanging, right? That’s where she’s going with this?

“Lost their temper at Ace” is not how I will put attempted murder, Hu, but you do you.

[Cut] Oh, the fan was used as a pulley??? Fucking how???

“The fan being broken would suggest a hanging.” (Paraphrased) Oh I was kinda right with my start of RS guess.

“Isn’t that wire Hu’s custom weapon?” Woo, Whit with the brain cell!

“Nico stole from Rose, so they stole from [Hu]” (Paraphrased) Yeah! Teruko and I think alike!

[Hu triple dots] Was the wire stolen? I’m almost second guessing it with how reluctant she is to say that.

{Hindsight between keys: Man I went back and forth a lot this episode huh}

[Veronika talks about Nico planning for the trial] Even though that kinda contradicts what Nico said earlier (I guess maybe they lied, makes sense in retrospect), yeah she’s right (assuming they aren’t wrong about Nico trying to frame Hu). Is she trying to help her newfound bestie, Hu?

“Did they even want to learn to paint?” Poor Rose T_T Also Nico please say something.

“If something was bothering you, you could have talked about it with someone you trusted!” You know, Eden tried to do that with Teruko, and Teruko shot her down. I wonder if that’ll come into play…

“I don’t trust anyone here.” :O Well that’s a reveal.

Woo new Hu sprite! She is breaking down! But bestie please I don’t think you can fix them!

“Hu, I—“ Nico looks so done lmao.

“You trust me, right?” They just say they didn’t. Man, she is not beating the savior complex allegations with this one, huh?

Bro please let Nico talk.

“Are you a billionaire? Because that’s rich!” Ace you are not as clever as you think you are. xD

“Murder is murder…” Indeed, J the voice of reason.

“Why can’t either Ace or Nico simply tell us what happened?” You know we’re fucked when Arturo’s the voice of reason. Although I imagine Ace will shout at him that he doesn’t remember because he was unconscious.

[Ace shouts at Arturo] Got the reason wrong, but the shouting was there.

“Don’t throw two birds and a stone in a glass house, asshole.” Mixing two idiots there, big guy.

“They put some sort of cloth on my mouth…” Ah, there’s the unconsciousness shouting. By the way, full confirmation turpentine is just chloroform in this universe, nice.

[Charles lays down the law on Hu] Thank you, resident brain cell holder! How did they even get out of the first trial without you?

“I was going to!” Yo new Nico sprite is crazy!!! They’re going in!

“I was going to…” Oh, they’re trying to remain calm. That’s pretty cool of them!

“If you say what you think happened, I’ll help.” (Paraphrased) Yeah I was wondering how the dev was gonna write this without it being a twenty minute Nico monologue, this tracks.

Yo “fake” Closing Argument is crazy.

THE FUCKING LIGHT!!!! HOW THE FUCK DID IT NOT OCCUR TO ANY OF THE FIFTEEN PEOPLE THAT TRIED TO SOLVE THIS!!! I guess cause nothing pointed to it but y’know.

“How would that have worked?” Broom to move the fan? I came up with that in my original theory on this thing, though I think that was for the very first method which was clinically insane.

[Broom reveal] Ah, close but not quite. That’s actually quite smart! I’m surprised no one thought of that either.

[Releasing wire] …Am I stupid or does this not work? What would the wire get caught on?

{Yeah I still don’t think I get it? Like if the wire was moving from above the fan to around the broom, there’s nothing stopping it from going from around the broom to above the fan, so Ace would just fall. Did it get caught on the tape somehow? But how would Nico be able to put it around the broom then? Also how does the fan break? The wire would exert force from above and the side, not below, which is what the image makes it look like. I don’t think I understood this I’m so sorry.}

Oh, Ace woke up before the murder attempt was over! Good job badjoe for calling that!

Also are we far enough in to confirm Nico did this by themselves? I don’t have anything against those that believed otherwise, but I personally like it better this way. I imagine the theories aren’t 100% dead, as always, but y’know.

“And then I… Y’know…” THAT’S WHY THE BLOOD ON THE WIRES DOESN’T MAKE FUCKING SENSE!!! Man, as much as I love the EP 6 CG, it was not clear at all that they were that close, especially when the loose wire seemed closer to the entrance. {Looking back, yeah, I’m just not good at perspective on these rooms. The wires were closer to Ace than it looked}.

… Well there’s the small bit on the end of the loose wire that I’m still not sure how it got there, but close enough!

{Yeah it’s not. Believe it or not, I don’t even think the canon method fully explains the fucking blood.

How the fuck was Nico using this exactly? I imagine the small bit of blood on the end is from the noose (which funnily enough, I kinda called there would be a noose, just got where Ace’s neck would be wrong), so then the middle is the part they used as a garrote. But… then where did the blood on the wire on the fan come from? Where they using both simultaneously?

Am I losing my fucking mind? How is it possible I still don’t understand the evidence even after All That? Has my brain simply rotted? And don’t even get me started on everything that wasn’t brought up! What the hell even is this case?

Then again, it’s midnight when I’m writing these hindsight observations, so I don’t think I’m operating at full brain capacity}

“What an interesting murder plan.” Veronika I love you.

“I tried to kill Ace and pin the murder on Hu. What else should I say?” I love you too Nico.

“And after all’s said and done, you can’t even say something as simple as “sorry”?” … Is Nico about to secret quote us?

“I tried to kill you because I don’t like you. Even now, there’s still no use to try and pretend that I like you. If I say “sorry,” you’re still going to hate me. So what else should I say?” Okay crisis averted. Still, this is a really interesting perspective, and I love it a lot. It calls back to Nico not understanding niceties like “please pass the salt,” which, relatable. If they’re not sorry, and Ace won’t get anything out of it, why lie? Very fun.

“D-Do you even regret what you did?” Poor Rose she’s taking this so badly T_T She still doesn’t have an answer as if Nico ever wanted to paint or not.

“I’m not Levi; of course I feel bad about something like that! I’m not heartless!” Yikes on calling Levi heartless, but interesting line for character analysis I guess.

“That was the worst choice that I’ve made in my life.” Wow, really cool new sprite and a lot of Nico info, this is awesome for us Nico enjoyers! (I call myself a Nico enjoyer like I don’t love every single character in the cast lol).

“My teachers, my classmates, my father…” Holy shit this is depressing.

“I’m not the victim here.” Damn, Nico. Just loving all this.

“So I don’t see the point in acting sorry.” Holy shit the sprites and the writing are on point today! {I’m sorry if my commentary’s not exactly thrilling, sometimes I’m just too invested to do anything but stare in awe.}

Rose: “I don’t know how to feel anymore” Sibling can you please give her a fucking answer damn.

“What does this have to do with the case? Everything.” Are we… doing “the pulley was used because they weren’t strong enough to murder otherwise” or…? I don’t know where else this would go.

“Coincidence? Hardly.” Does… Does Teruko already have Eden clocked (heh) as the murderer? No, right? It’s the strength thing probs.

“…They specifically intended for this murder case to be similar to Nico’s murder.” Wait does she actually think it’s Ace or Eden what?

[Non-stop, Bound Wrists] … I have nothing. Nico didn’t bind Ace’s wrists. What is happening.

[Bullet fired] Okay, slight nitpick that I’m pretty sure bothers me and no one else. I get that it’s hard to come up with phrases to shoot bullets at, but “there’s no evidence of that” or some variation is the thing that gets shot in, like, 90% of these Non-Stops Debates. Again, not really important, just wanted to point out a pet peeve of mine.

“One of the pieces of evidence was taken directly from the crime scene…” Oh now we’re bringing up the tape! Teruko didn’t identify it in the spinny thing so I was wondering if she was going to make the connection on her own, but I guess I should have never doubted the Queen.

“I finally figured out what this tape is…” Okay that makes sense. But has she actually clocked (heh x2) that Eden or Ace must have taken it? She’s acting real chill about it.

“It’s the tape from the gym.” (Paraphrased) Woo! It feels super satisfying to finally read those words in a trial setting. Another exceedingly common badjoe W, as they’re who pointed out the tape’s disappearance to me.

“That time Rose and I went to the gym together…” Oh so she knows knows.

“But didn’t MonoTV clean up the gym?” Yeah that would be convenient for you huh. There’s still a chance Ace is the culprit and she’s trying to defend him, but it’s looking rough.

{Actually in retrospect yeah what the fuck?}

“…I attempted to restore the gym to its original condition.” Which would include the tape being there. It might be over chat.

“… why didn’t you recognize it earlier, Rose?” She didn’t look at the crime scene queen. But it was in the trash. Geez Rose is just gonna feel awful after this trial, I’m really interested to see where her character will go.

“Wooow!” Fucking David jumpscare-

Yo why’s David of all people being a hater you wanted them to lose the trial.

[David blames Arturo for Arei’s death] Considering Felicity, low blow. I hate David so much (/affectionate).

“I can’t even recall what day that happened.” Oh so she’s breaking down breaking down.

[Rose speech] The Rose angst is insane this episode, I’m loving every second. In addition, there might be a line here that could point to Rose!MM. But to keep the habit, I’m not elaborating on that (on this post).

“Rose. You are helpful.” Let me ignore the Terurose agenda for a moment and point out that Teruko’s still being way too chill about this if she’s about to call out Eden. Is she putting on a front? She mentioned hurting when Eden talked to her in the kitchen, so she probably does care, but isn’t letting herself show it? Oof if true.

“That I could be dismissive […] without consequences.” Oh we might be starting the “Teruko learns to trust a bit again” arc sooner than I expected. Cool! Also she’s not about to secret quote us right? {She wasn’t}.

“Thank you, Rose.” Okay I am no longer ignoring the Terurose agenda this ship is about to pop off I feel and I love that.

“…that tells me exactly who the murderer could be.” It might be Edenover.

Select Two People! But she said after Ace ran out, right? Is she gonna point at Ace and Eden, or herself and Eden?

Nope, Ace and Eden. Well, those are the two I landed on!

“It’s you two, right?” [Voice Line] You make it sound like Ace!Accomplice or Eden!Accomplice are even like remotely possible, and I find that funny.

“What’s your reasoning?” Veronika I love you but she’s spent the last ten minutes explaining her reasoning.

By the way, while Teruko’s repeating more or less the same lockdown logic I must have explained in at least three or four different posts (honestly kinda surreal ngl), it’s gonna be really funny if the only reason the class can confidently rule out Teruko as a suspect is because her handwriting sucks too much which is honestly the best argument for her innocence besides protag privilege :v

“I’m the least suspicious because I’ve been helping” is the second best argument lol.

“But to be frank, most of you are incapable of [acting logically]” Tell ‘em Teruko!

I’ll refrain from pointing bv out every suspicious Eden line because I always feel like I’m leaning too much on confirmation bias for it, but let’s be clear, I’m seeing them.

Hu: “Eden isn’t the killer! Don’t accuse her!” Bro.

“I do have evidence!” BDA?

Called it! If we’re bringing it up this early, though… I’m assuming it’s not so simple.

“You all are moving way too fucking fast.” I feel the same way Ace. {For the first time in the trial}.

“Hold on.” Wait is David gonna be the one to bring in the possible workaround(s)? Why the- I thought you wanted to lose? What the fuck is he even doing anymore???

“Oh my my my. That’s an issue.” You saw the body didn’t you.

“Because I’m actually the first person to see the body.” Well, there goes the “See No Evil” idea, which I kinda liked. Unless he’s just lying, which would honestly make more sense; he’d be trying to lead the trial astray again.

Okay but this is adorable.

“… at least one innocent person.” David, it’s- it’s at least two. How are this bad at math.

Nico: “Do you expect everyone to believe such an obvious lie?” This really is the Nico episode, huh? But it does make sense for them to push Ace as the culprit, I guess.

“He’s lying? Really?” Poor Levi’s got no fucking clue what’s going on.

“… he just conveniently avoided [the BDA group]” oh right they searched the whole floor before going to the playground David’s story is practically impossible.

Alright who’s gonna make the “What’s your source?” “I made it the fuck up!” meme with J/Nico and David?

“The only person who I need to believe me is Teruko.”

…

?????????????????????????????

(I feel like I write that exact sequence of characters every episode)

Are you just trying to go for a Teruvid angle to counteract the Terurose earlier? (/silly but really what the fuck-)

[David explains about Teruko’s skepticism] Yeah I guess. But, just so we’re clear: David still thinks the culprit is Ace and is just doing this to make them lose the trial right? Because otherwise what the actual fuck.

“AllI want is for Teruko to distrust others.” Motherfucker what-

[David’s whole Thing] You know, I really thought, I really fucking thought after Ep13, that we would get a break of a few episodes of David Bullshit, but no! What in the ever loving fuck is he even doing anymore???? No theories at this point, it is almost 11 PM where I am I do not have the brainpower to deal with this son of a bitch.

Levi: “Now that I think about it, Eden is in a good position to be Arei’s killer after all.” I feel a scrum debate forming.

“…why would I help it piece [the note] back together…?” I was right to avoid the bias. This line could be perfectly innocent, but the moment I read it, my mind said “she’s saying this too confidently, she had it planned, it’s Edenover.”

“Why… Levi, why?” While I do think Levi!Accomplice just 100% died of it wasn’t dead already, this line does read very funny with the context of that theory.

[Eden Breakdown] Man, {even after how much I’ve been sussing Eden in this and every other episode}, it sure does look like Ace is the culprit huh? Like, this scene is so beautiful and incredible it might just sway me to Ace!Culprit. The CGs are amazing, the music and the voice acting is terribly moving, the dialogue’s fantastic, holy fucking shit. I almost want to cry that was so fantastic. I— I wish I had more words, but that just left me speechless.

-

General Thoughts:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-!

(/positive)

I don’t think I could have asked for more, this is just fucking perfect. Nico’s whole thing was great, the Rose angst was unexpected but wholly welcome, the tape reveal was revealed, David… Chiem, and the Eden CG stuff. Just absolutely fantastic all around.

…Slightly miffed the blood on the wires is still somehow not 100% consistent with the described method but WHATEVER it WORKS i do NOT wanna look at those fucking things again.

Theory Updates

Yeah it’s Ace.

Okay that’s dramatic lol. Eden!Culprit is not 100% dead, but off the top of my head, I can’t actually think of anything the characters can use to clear Ace rn. The only reason I believed Eden!Culprit over Ace!Culprit is that I didn’t think Teruko and even Eden could have missed Ace grabbing the tape upon waking up, especially with the sprite disappearing when Eden was on the ground, but… uh… apparently Teruko doesn’t trust herself so much.

With that glaring issue fixed, I actually think Ace!Culprit is significantly more solid than Eden!Culprit. No workaround needed for the BDA, no weird “are they even strong enough to do this” questions, and while the fish paradox Exists, Ace might have thought that putting fish there would make people think of Nico. Which, given the killer also somehow expected the class to figure out the similarities to Nico’s method when only a grand total of four people saw it, one of them being Nico themselves; yeah, I’d think he might be stupid enough for that.

EDIT: Also forgot to mention, Ace waking up before the murder attempt was over solves the issue of him figuring it all out. He actually straight up saw the method, he’d know how to replicate it.

And those Teruko-Eden CGs, man… I always had to really suspend my disbelief on some of Eden’s lines, even with venus’ narrative defense, but… come on. I’ve said this before; I have my limits.

All that added to the fact that Teruko seems to really want to start her “begin to trust again” arc, the fact David pushed for Eden!Culprit… it’s looking Ace!Culprit.

To be clear, there’s still things like Eden’s “Teruko, wait—!” that work better under Eden!Culprit, but I feel those are comparable to other potentially small foreshadowing moments such as Ace being weirdly fixated on the carousel. Eden!Culprit is, again, not fully dead, as other than strength, BDA and fish (all of which have workarounds), there’s not much concrete evidence clearing her. But at this point, I… don’t know. I’ve always felt kinda bad reading scenes like the kitchen talk with Teruko with as much suspicion as I did, but these final CGs, hmm…

Maybe my perspective will change with a clearer mind in the morning, but these are “first impressions” for a reason. They’re not meant to be very cohesive.

And if I’m wrong and it is Eden, well then I’ll have been wrong for a week or two instead of a year, so. Who cares at this point.

Speaking of getting things wrong, the Nico thing. I got Nico!SoloAceAttacker (is that the right notation?) right, and the really obvious stuff like using the stool to reach the fan. I’m also gonna give myself half points for guessing the broom was used to move the wire on the fan all the way back in my first post, but other than that, I did not cook. In my defense, a lot of the evidence (Nico’s missing cloak, the missing tape on the pull-up bar unless it’s somehow the roll, the isolated weights and toppled weight rack, and who knows what else) ended up not mattering in the slightest, which threw me off. Also, I call bullshit on this explaining the blood on the wires, that splatter pattern still doesn’t make sense with what was described. I guess my life isn’t Nico’s after all.

On the other hand, I’m a bit more confident on the remaining aspects of the Arei murder theory now that I believe the culprit is strong enough to pull it all off without issue, but we’ll have to see on that. My guess for culprit ended up changing for now, but the reasoning for arriving at them (tape) was solid, so we’ll see how that pans out.

All in all, immaculate episode. Chef’s kiss. Perfection. Holy shit. See you again soon!

[mania-sama]

gojo satoru's guide to being a good father: cheating is only tolerable if it happens in monopoly

Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood

➼ information ❧ Jujutsu Kaisen ❧ Pairing: Fushiguro Megumi & Fushiguro Tsumiki & Gojo Satoru, Fushiguro Megumi & Gojo Satoru ❧ Additional Characters: Itadori Yuuji, Kugisaki Nobara ❧ Tags: implied/referenced cheating, no curses au, guardian-ward relationships, gojo satoru adopted the fushiguros, parental! gojo, protective! gojo, vandalism, threats of violence, father-son bonding via car vandalism: the fic ❧ Summary: In which Tsumiki gets cheated on and, really, Gojo has been waiting to destroy a bitch's Maserati. ❧ Word Count: 4,054 ❧ Cross-posted from Archive of Our Own ❧ Original post date: 1 January 2024 ❧ Now available as a podfic!

Gojo receives a text from Tsumiki saying that she’s coming home to visit for a couple of days, and two seconds later the front door slams open. A loud bang echoes in the house when it hits the wall. Oh, good. Megumi’s home.

“I’m going to kill that bastard,” he hears the boy fume, forcing the door shut with even more vigor. That poor abused door. Maybe Gojo should consider a therapist for it. “I’m going to chop his dick off and feed it to him.”

“Good afternoon to you, too,” Gojo greets cheerfully. Looking up from the living room couch, he sees his irate ward stalk to the kitchen and pilfer through the various sharp knives in the steel-colored knife block. Not good. He’s already picking out his murder weapon before taking off his backpack. “What’s going on?”

Megumi spares a side-eye so full of anger that Gojo doesn’t even have it in him to feel disrespected. “He cheated,” he says simply while drawing out the chef knife from the block. The noise it makes is a sharp shing, a telltale sign of crimes yet to come.

“Who cheat— oh.” That would explain the short, out-of-the-blue text message from Tsumiki. Suddenly Megumi’s fury seems a lot less irrational. Gojo has a short, beautiful vision of beating Tsumiki’s boyfriend to the point where even his mother wouldn’t recognize his face.

“Yeah.” Megumi holds the large blade out for a second, giving it a long, examining look. Apparently, it satisfies his criteria because he drops his arm by his side and starts heading for the door. Oh shit. He’s actually going to go chop his dick off.

Not that Gojo doesn’t want to either, it’s just that, well, he’s not supposed to indulge in body mutilation. Besides, if Megumi gets caught with that knife in his hand, he’ll get arrested, and Gojo really doesn’t want that to go on the boy’s permanent record. Satoru, unfortunately, cannot woo police officers out of prison sentences like he has for teachers to throw out Megumi’s detentions.

“Hey, hey, hold on!” Gojo jumps up and vaults over the couch in one swift movement, carefully sidestepping whenever Megumi carelessly turns around. The knife’s tip swipes where Gojo’s stomach had once been. “You cannot go around castrating people!”

Megumi glares at him with the heated fury of a thousand burning suns. His lips are pulled so far down into a scowl that Gojo’s unsure his facial muscles are ever going to let him smile again. “Oh, you’re going to start disciplining me now?”

Okay, wow, Gojo did not ask for commentary on his lack of proper child anger management.“I’ve disciplined you plenty,” Gojo insists, though Megumi looks unconvinced. “Listen. I know he deserves it. But do you even know where he is or how you’re gonna get there without anybody catching you with that knife?”

Satoru holds out his hand expectantly while Megumi stares at him hard, his nose scrunched up and green eyes alight with unrelenting ire. Eventually, he sighs hard and presses the handle of the chef knife into Gojo’s palm.

“You’re not seriously going to let him get away with this, are you?” Megumi asks, his voice marginally calmer and less accusatory than it was before. Deciding to be responsible, Gojo slides the chef knife back into its proper spot and stands firmly in front of the knife block. Just in case his ward makes another attempt at righteous vengeance.

At the question and Megumi’s impatiently crossed arms, Gojo has to think. Obviously, he isn’t going to let this go unpunished. To imagine that any man could think they could hurt his sweet Tsumiki who has never done anything wrong in her entire life — okay, there was that one time that she thought it was okay to spend three thousand dollars on Robux but she didn’t really mean to do that — and run away scot-free sends a violent shiver down Gojo’s spine. 

He never told Tsumiki this, but he doesn’t think her boyfriend is all that attractive or intelligent, emotionally or scholarly. What he did tell her was that as long as she was happy, he would be happy. Not before a talk with said boyfriend where he promised he would do much worse things to him if he ever dared make Gojo’s ward cry.

So, what could he do to a twenty-one-year-old university student without mutilating any body parts but still following through with his promise?

Gojo smiles at Megumi, whose eyebrows are raised in anticipation. “Megumi, you have a lot to learn about revenge. What is the one thing a self-absorbed, cheating man loves more than anything in the whole world?”

“His dick,” he responds confidently.

“No!” Satoru laughs and points a finger at Megumi’s nose, watching as he goes momentarily cross-eyed. “Good guess. I’d put that at number two. But Megumi, dear, you must understand. There is nothing he is more prideful of than his car.”

Noticing his ward’s skepticism, he brings his index finger upwards. He uses the rest of his fingers to list off with his words. “One: It’s hard to get away with castration. As much as I hate to admit it, no way you’re going to chop off his dick. Two: Cars are feminine. Men like him love to own anything they can call a she. Three: Cars are expensive and he is a broke college student. I imagine his parents paid for the one he owns now, which is a nice Maserati Ghibli. Four: He will be without a vehicle and have to own up to his parents that his car got destroyed, and the only correlating event that would lead up to such a tragedy would be his cheating. Do you understand now, Megumi?”

Truly, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen Megumi comprehend anything so well in his entire seventeen years of life. His ward gives him a short nod.

“Good. Unfortunately, we can’t enact our revenge today. We can’t show up wherever he is and destroy his car. No, we have to first get him to park in a secluded lot, then occupy him for a few hours,”  Gojo informs. Megumi listens intently, and, oh, it’s been so long since he’s gotten this boy to actually pay attention to everything he says. It makes Satoru feel all warm inside. “Got any friends that can help us with this?”

Megumi doesn’t hesitate to pull out his phone. “I bet that bastard likes them younger, too. Kugisaki can help.”

“When you’ve come up with a plan, tell me and we’ll review it.”

His ward nods and sends a text on his phone, presumably to Kugisaki Nobara. Gojo waits for Megumi to leave the kitchen to go to his room before he pries himself away from the counter. He chooses to stay in the living room in preparation for the scenario where Megumi decides that he can’t wait any longer and a castration must be performed. He also wants to be the first person to greet his older ward when she gets home.

—

The next three days are spent comforting Tsumiki while carefully planning the glorious demise of her ex-boyfriend’s car. She is too kind, even in mourning of her year-long relationship. She has barely a bad word to speak of that roach of a man. Instead, she cuddles with Gojo as they watch her favorite movies and comedy specials, eat all sorts of unhealthy food and home-cooked meals, and play various board games that Megumi reluctantly joins them in.

It’s the closest they’ve been since Tsumiki left for her second year at university while Megumi works on graduating high school. Gojo works at a different university about a mile away, so he’s nearby at all times. If he cancels a few classes, nobody says a word to him. It comes with being the most highly acclaimed physics professor in all of Japan.

It would be perfect if it weren’t for the weight of a cheating ex-boyfriend dampening the mood at all times. Gojo is happy to be with his kids — wards, technically. Wards — but one of them isn’t, and the other is too involved in a revenge plot to be fully invested in the time they are spending together. Whatever, he consoles himself. It’s the best he’ll get until summer.

In the midst of watching The Human Centipede 2, which, for the record, is a horrifying franchise and he doesn’t understand why Tsumiki likes it so much, he gets a horrid vision of both of his children away in university. Then them in apartments of their own, and they only get together again once or twice a year for holidays. He isn’t able to hold them close on his living room couch on a mundane Tuesday afternoon to watch a deranged scientist attach humans together via mouths to buttholes.

Gojo pulls Tsumiki a little tighter to his side and places a careful arm around Megumi’s shoulders. His son — ward — stiffens for a moment, then leans his cheek on Satoru’s bicep. While both of their eyes are fixated on the screen, he gives a small glance to both of the kids. He feels their steady breaths against his body.

It takes everything in Satoru to smother his smile.

Then the fated day finally arrives.

The plan consists of five participants, four willing (Gojo, Megumi, Nobara, Yuuji) and one unwilling (Tsumiki’s ex-boyfriend). Megumi and his two friends did all of the planning and arrangements while Gojo bought the necessary equipment: two Louisville sluggers, gloves, hats, brass knuckles, a box cutter, and the special edition Tokyo Monopoly. He also rented a sparkling silver BMW because Gojo refuses to be outclassed by a broke college student.

Oh, and they need it so his actual car won’t be recognized. That’s why everything he bought was either new or could hide their appearance, aside from the brass knuckles and board game; if the police catch them, Megumi will never forgive Gojo for not letting him perform a well-deserved castration.

At precisely two thirty in the afternoon, Megumi and Satoru bid Tsumiki a hasty farewell. Gojo doesn’t trust either of them to lie well enough to her, so they don’t give her enough time to ask where they are going. Her shouted question is left as an unanswered echo behind the closed front door.

It takes them thirty minutes to arrive at the designated location, a hole-in-the-wall bar in the rundown part of Ueno. Predictably, there aren’t many people there on a Wednesday before happy hour. Most people had classes or work at this time, and besides, drinking at three in the afternoon without any good football or baseball games to watch is just sad.

Unless, of course, someone had good company with them. A group of friends or a date with a seventeen-year-old girl who insisted that the only time she could get with him was at three on Wednesday! Really! She’s busy the rest of the week and her parents are oh-so restricting…

Since Satoru is a responsible adult, he made sure that the bartenders were paid off in advance to pretend that they are serving alcohol to young Kugisaki. She will simply act like she is getting drunk off of sparkly orange and pink drinks. Then, when the time is right, the ex-boyfriend will lead her to his car to take her to his apartment with only the most pure of intentions. Obviously. But what he will find instead is a pile of mutilated metal and deflated rubber.

There were only two glaring holes in the plan when Megumi originally proposed it to him, which they patched up by including Yuuji. The first: Gojo knows Nobara can bench twice her weight and take down a man with a hairpin, but he needs to be one hundred percent sure she will be entirely safe. There’s no telling what an enraged pedophile may be able to achieve. Additionally, she needs a quick getaway. The second: A video of the man’s reaction is required, and nobody involved will be in a position to record.

So, Megumi kindly asked Itadori Yuuji to hang out in the parking lot in his car, inherited from his dearly departed grandfather, and be at the ready with both his phone and brass knuckles should the situation escalate so far. Gojo hopes it doesn’t because that would make for a terrible reaction video.

The parking lot is situated at the back of the bar, which has no windows for an unsuspecting cheater to look out of and witness a crime being committed on his prized possession. Gojo parks a couple of spots to the right of the pearly white Maserati, spotting Yuuji’s old red Nissan on the left. The windows are barely tinted, allowing them to make eye contact with each other. Or rather, Itadori looks at Gojo’s shades for a split second before waving enthusiastically to Megumi. His ward returns the gesture with a small wave of his own.

Before Gojo can say something that will undoubtedly embarrass Megumi and spoil the mood, he swings his orange-and-blue slugger over his shoulder and adjusts his black cap with a gloved hand. “I’m feeling generous,” he declares. “You take the first swing.”

Megumi looks up at him, gives him a malicious grin, and steps close to the right wing mirror. Instead of swinging it, he slams the butt of the bat into the glass. It takes one more shove to send the wing mirror crashing to the ground. Glass shatters on the asphalt. Luckily, Gojo made Megumi wear a jacket and a pair of designer shades that would protect him from spray shards.

Laughing at the broken display of vandalism, Gojo pats Megumi on the shoulder. “Hit a home run into his headlights! I’ll work on getting in the car.”

“Destroying the inside?” Megumi asks, already stepping around to the front of the car. He gets into a proper batting stance, just like how Gojo taught him when the boy was playing the sport in middle school. The sun reflects brightly on the black-and-yellow Louisville slugger.

“Can’t leave a job half-finished, can we?” Satoru grins. His ward knocks a clean hole into one headlight at the same time Gojo leaves a spiderweb of cracks in the driver’s window. When the glass shatters inwards, he’s able to reach into the car and press the unlock button. The Maserati Ghibli has a slight off-white leather interior. Gojo takes a second to run his hand over the seat, savoring the beauty he’s about to destroy.

It’s a morbid pleasure to slide open his box cutter and carve jagged lines into the clean interior. White scars are left behind when he pulls the blade from the leather. He takes special care to draw little broken hearts and a cat with a pair of sunglasses on. When he’s done with the front and back seats, he finds that Megumi has already made a full round with the car. Thin streaks were keyed into the car doors, and every inch of the once pristine Maserati is filled with deep dents.

Megumi admires the view with Gojo, his breath coming out in small pants. “Well?”

“It can be better. Go again,” he answers, even though the car is so beautifully destroyed that it makes his heart swell. The teacher who said his kid was destined for failure was sorely mistaken; this is a sign of great things to come.

Megumi nods and lifts his slugger to smash another dent into the back window. It was already shattered, but now the only indication glass was ever there in the first place are the shards lying scattered in the trunk.

Gojo could cry with how proud he is of his son. His ward. Son.

Pushing out the blade of the box cutter again, Gojo crouches and slashes a hole into the first of four tires. He watches in satisfaction as air rushes out to rejoin the natural atmosphere. It has the same impact as releasing a caged, rehabilitated animal back into the wild. Probably. Satoru hasn’t done that before but he figures this is pretty much the same thing.

He moves on to the next tire after golfing the fenders three times with his bat. Megumi meets back up with him on the last tire, and this time there’s sweat dripping from his face. It’s a decently hot day, Gojo can admit. A few straggling wisps of clouds drift lazily across the sky, leaving the sun to bake the creatures on Earth. His own neck is uncomfortably wet and sticky.

“Here,” he hands over the box cutter, a shade duller than it was before. “I’ll leave the final honor to you.”

Megumi holds the box cutter in his hand like it’s the Holy Grail. When he rips into the tire, Gojo hopes he’s imagining a dick being sliced off instead like Gojo is. It’s the closest they’re going to get until one brave woman decides that enough is enough.

They step back to admire their work. It should be displayed in a museum next to Winged Victory of Samothrace or Perseus with the Head of Medusa. The whole world should lay their eyes on the perfect mound of metal and rubber they have molded. It’s barely even recognizable. The dark inside machinery of the car is visible from the parts Megumi tore off with his hands or batted away with the slugger. It sits closer to the ground than before thanks to the tire deflation. Several holes fall open in the cracked windows.

Gojo wraps an arm around Megumi’s shoulder, tugging him to stand closer to his side. His ward doesn’t put up a fight against his guardian and even rests his head against Gojo’s collarbone.

No language has an accurate word to describe the feeling that courses through his body. It’s a concoction of every good and bad thing Gojo has done in his life; every misstep he’s taken in raising the Fushiguro kids, and every moment he’s experienced overwhelming pride, fear, and joy for them. It’s twelve years all at once, tucked away under his arm.

“Your sister is going to kill me when she finds out about this,” he says. Megumi snorts.

“It’ll be worth it.”

Megumi’s voice is low with fondness, the only kind that can be produced after a long rush of adrenaline.

A great amount of strength allows him to open his mouth. “We need to leave before they get out here,” he mutters. Slowly, as if reluctant, Megumi detaches himself from Gojo’s arm. The warmth of his son’s body is lost immediately, replaced by the distant uncaring sun.

They wave Yuuji farewell and hop into the car, blasting the air conditioner and the playlist containing both the perfect, glorious, angel choir songs Gojo likes and the obnoxiously emo songs Megumi listens to. About halfway through the drive, Satoru asks if Megumi’s hungry.

Megumi looks up at him from his phone, his eyes squinted with something mischievous. “Can we have—”

“We are not having KFC,” Gojo says firmly.

Instead of frowning, Megumi’s lips contort into a half-smile of some kind. Like he’s trying to hide the fact that he’s enjoying being in the car with Gojo. And Gojo — Gojo can’t help himself. This is his son. The prickly five-year-old he met in an alley is now seventeen years old, looking down at his lap with his face scrunched up in a failed attempt at keeping his composure. He’s not laughing only to maintain his image. Megumi is happy.

It’s not enough to get Gojo to go through a KFC drive-thru because some wounds will simply never heal, but he does pull into the parking lot of the next best thing: Subway.

“So, I was thinking tonight we’d play Monopoly,” he suggests as they gorge themselves on two foot-long sandwiches and a large bag of Doritos. Megumi tries to scowl, but his full cheeks make him look more like a chipmunk.

“No. You always cheat at Monopoly,” Megumi says after swallowing his food.

“I don’t! I play fair and square.”

“You always have to be a banker so you can steal money and give us incorrect payments,” he deadpans.

Gojo ignores him. It’s not his fault they won’t play by the objectively correct rules of Monopoly. “But it’s Tokyo Monopoly! You can own Shibuya Crossing!”

Megumi’s gaze is unimpressed, but he doesn’t retaliate anymore. Gojo doesn’t bother to hide his shit-eating grin. Another day, another victory for one Gojo Satoru.

—

Tsumiki is waiting for them when they get home. She’s leaning against the wall of the foyer, her gaze stupidly hard for someone who’s supposed to be grieving the end of a relationship. It takes them exactly two point three nanoseconds to see that she has them figured out.

“Where were you two?” She asks them as if she doesn’t know. The air cracks with tension.

Gojo smiles and shoves Megumi forward. “You know, Megumi has been dying to tell you!”

His son glares at him in disgust before fully facing his sister. “We, uh,” he clears his throat. “We vandalized your ex’s car.”

The house is silent for five whole seconds. Megumi stares at his sister with bated breath, waiting for his soul to be wiped out of the mortal plane in the form of an hour-long lecture. But Gojo knows better. He knows because this is his daughter.

She sags forward, a smile ghosting her lips. Her eyes carry heavy eyebags, but they shine with expectation. “Do you at least have a video?”

Of course, she wants to chop his dick off, too. And of course, she recognizes that the next best option is destroying his pearly white Maserati Ghibli. She was raised by Gojo Satoru, after all.

Before Gojo orders her DoorDash Subway, they watch the video Yuuji sent to Megumi’s phone — the contact photo for the young Itadori is hilariously cute in comparison to Nobara’s, making Satoru give his son a knowing shoulder bump — on the big screen.

His reaction is priceless, what with the screams and caressing of the broken angles of the car. He moves to furiously grab Nobara’s shoulders, but she digs her heel straight into his balls before he can lay a finger on her.

Yuuji lowers his phone as she gets in, kicking his car into reverse so they can peel out of there before he gets up off the ground. The video ends with the kids’ glorious laughter and Nobara shouting, “It worked! Go, Itadori! Go!” Tsumiki’s giggle gives Gojo more joy than the actual process of destroying the car.

Well. Okay. Her giggle is almost better than destroying a Maserati Ghibli. What can he say? It was the most fun he’s had since he decided to stop breaking the law to set a good example for his kids.

Later, when they sit down to play Tokyo Monopoly, he may or may not tone down his strict following of the rules. Perhaps he embezzles a little less, and perhaps he switches out Tsumiki’s house for a hotel when his kids aren’t paying attention. He still wins after five hours of playing but that’s beside the point.

The day ends with a hug from Tsumiki. He doesn’t fully hug his kids often. Even when they were young and missing both parental figures who should’ve been giving them hugs three times a day, Gojo didn’t let himself get close enough to them. Realistically, he knows it’d been a product of his own young age and inexperience. Growing up in a cold family didn’t help matters; his only model of parents were his own unfeeling ones and what he’d observed of other families from afar.

That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt when he hesitates to hold his children, unsure if they would want to be touched by their legal guardian. It’s worse to see them withdraw from touching him, too, like they’re worried he’ll pull away in disgust.

So, this is nice, the hug from his daughter before she goes to bed. She smiles at him from the top of the staircase. She is happy.

Yeah, it’s certainly better than destroying a Maserati Ghibli.

… Well. Maybe not. Maybe nothing will be better than that. But he swears that Tsumiki’s happiness is a very, very close second.

[dangermousie]

I love little details like the fact that his voice is still scratched up and that he talks very little probably because of his damaged throat that he's still recovering from and because he wasn't in the habit of talking for years in the torture room. (I love love love how gradual changes and healing is for everyone in this drama.)

But also, she is so fond of him here - not in a romantic sense or even in any sense where she'd rely on him, but she has so much gentleness and kindness towards people despite her horrible life - she is pleased she saved someone, she's pleased he's grateful and useful. I genuinely love her.

Every time he gets so pleased to be useful, my heart breaks for him a little.

I found this scene so interesting on rewatch because I can see it's a part of her pattern - she doesn't want to rely and so she tries to wave any assistance even minor but if you push a little she will give in for minor things like accompanying her in the woods - and the fact that she doesn't expect anything and will push away to test even for a truly minor thing like this says volumes about her damage and her walls. But also it's a start of pattern with them where she pushes away and he gently persists, without being confrontational or in your face, but just quietly determined.

Love that his way to express his care is consistently practical, like carrying her stuff. It's interesting because we find out later he was known for all the arts including writing and poetry and music - they can all be fancy ways to woo a woman, but he has none of it, can't do a lot of it (due to injuries/lack of materials) and he doesn't want it either (since they are associated with his past and trauma and because as we find out later, he thinks he can't be as good as he was) and so his expression of love and devotion is the same one an illiterate peasant can offer - practical care. But that is exactly what she needs. She doesn't need words, they are cheap. She needs acts, they are tangible.

I mean look at this, he's just thorough, thoughtful and consistent in his care.

He is consistently FL coded and this is one of such moments. What she says is what someone says to a woman normally - his virtues are wifely virtues! (And look how pleased he looks at her accepting his care and complimenting him.)

And yet another example of her damage. He says he will wait for her while she gets the stuff and he response? It's not a proclamation of eternal devotion on his part nor is she going on a dangerous quest - nobody discussed eternal waiting but she just jumps into her trauma. It's like someone said "I am gonna run to the store for bread," the other person replied "I'll wait in the parking lot until you come back," and you bitterly mused "nobody waits forever." I mean holy moly escalation!

And the thing is, he does come into the rebel camp by himself, no weapons either, when she's gone for too long! That's insane. He's not the world's best fighter, he's still recovering, and he knows firsthand what kind of horrors can await someone captured and yet he has no hesitation.

[cerastes]

So I was thinking about Sesa's whole "I know how to make weapons that don't require arts great equalizer" thing and maybe he shouldn't be allowed anywhere near Rhine Lab or Columbia for all that matter. I was wondering if you had thoughts on what a potential interaction between him and Dorothy would be? Cause both talented engineers, but with Dorothy seeming to forget implications of things, what effect wooing Sesa being scared of the implications have on Dorothy.

Sesa wouldn't be a danger even if he was in Rhine Lab because Sesa himself is fully aware of the dangers of such a paradigm shifting breakthrough: I had a zealous anon (that went unpublished) some months back when I first talked about Sesa basically calling Sesa a coward, because his breakthrough in being able to produce firearms that don't require Arts knowledge or skill could be used to arm the masses and shift the power balance between the people(tm) and bigger entities like the Ursus Empire.

So obviously that's one hundred percent not feasible in the slightest for a lot of reasons, so I didn't answer that because it felt less "let's talk about Arknights" and more "why is this game not fulfilling the wishes for a social revolution we all want right now", and I include myself in that "we", it's just, it's not that simple, and Dorothy's Vision puts that in perspective, making the Sesa Conversation relevant again:

Dorothy has the skill and the intent, but lacks the worldly experience, thus she was not able to see the full consequences and ramifications of her actions, right? But there's another important factor in what made Dorothy's Vision, the Hub, possible: The endless money that Rhine Labs has, as well as their infrastructure that allows for these sorts of experiments to occur in the first place. Dorothy can have all the brains and prowess she wants, she could not have achieved the Hub by herself, or even just with her section, she needed the funding, infrastructure, and support not just from Ferdinand and Rhine Lab, but also from Loken Williams. We'll come back to this in a second.

The difference between Sesa and Dorothy is that Sesa, being far more worldly and perceptive to just how hellish Terra truly is, and that such hellish world has bred some truly evil, greedy people, is immediately aware that, were his and his brother's breakthrough of non-Arts reliant firearms to become mainstream, it would only result in far more oppression and a far more unfair playing field, not an equalizer of power.

Because to manufacture weapons and materiel, you still need funds, personnel, resources, and infrastructure. The discovery of non-Arts firearms would benefit, short term, black markets and smaller outfits. Let's remember that Sesa and his brother weren't small time, they had their own laboratory and hideout. They had more than most smaller outfits and gangs. In the long term, though, once the know-how of firearm production becomes more mainstream? Who do you think will have the edge, small time gangs or the Ursus Empire with its absolutely immense territory, endless resources, and infinite personnel? End of the day, it would be the giants like Ursus, Yan, Victoria that would just get far, far more powerful, not the small revolutionary guys and gals we'd be rooting for.

Sesa is aware of this, and that's what takes us back to the previous point: Sesa gets that his knowledge would drown the world in fire for the benefit of the Big Guys, not the everyman, simply because of a matter of logistics. For every one okay rifle a gang makes, the Ursus Empire is probably going to be making hundreds of artillery cannons and thousands of better rifles.

As for an interaction between Sesa and Dorothy, I think he'd be unequivocally mad initially, but then would understand that Dorothy truly means well, and they could definitely relate to one another, although I'm not sure Dorothy would accept Sesa too easily: Dorothy was pushed into her path by her family's untimely death and lives for her research, Sesa killed his own brother for the greater good, and tries to keep his research drowned in obscurity forever. That’d be real interesting to scope.

Just two Oppenheimers in a room, 5 feet away because they are not willing to drown in their scholarly curiosity.

[usedtobethelegendcreator]

To follow up on the “Velvette would be in deep shit if she was ever disrespectful to Alastor” thing, I’m going to explain why…with a song analysis!

The most characterization we get for Velvette is her song “Respectless”, so if we put this together with what Alastor tells Husk in “Dad Beat Dad”, it paints a very ugly picture.

So, Velvette starts off the Overlord meeting by calling everyone there “a joke”. Bold words. Now, she spends almost all of her time specifically antagonizing Carmilla, but I think it’s safe to say that she’d do it to anyone, considering how she talks to Vox in “Radio Killed The Video Star”. With this is mind, let’s get going!

“You’ve got it twisted,

I’m not the one who needs a new attitude.

Maybe you missed it, but I’m that #Bitch,

And I will do nothing less than what I please, woo!

I’m the backbone of the Vees.

Mad that I acted respectless?

Well, it’s ‘cause no one could respect this.”

She says, right off the bat, that she doesn’t respect them and what they’re doing…which is taking consequences into consideration. Velvette doesn’t seem to care about common sense at all, and shows a remarkable lack of self-preservation skills. Remember, she’s not saying this to average sinners. These are Overlords, one of which is the Radio Demon—remember that guy?—who could quite easily kill her if they wanted to. I mean, Carmilla has angelic steel on her shoes. There seem to be other angelic weapons on display outside the meeting room. And she’s also falling for the old he-doesn’t-look-powerful-so-he-must-be-weak trick Alastor has been actively using for decades.

And, well, we don’t know how powerful Velvette is. We don’t know what she can do. So far, the only power she’s displayed is being able to change a girl’s clothes and make potions. And if we take Alastor’s line about the Vees in “Stayed Gone” as something that goes for the other Vees…ouch.

She came to this meeting alone. Knowing that the Radio Demon was back and would likely be there. Compared to Zestial, who she calls a “fossil”, Alastor isn’t nearly as ancient. He’s still much older than her, but he died in 1933. Television was around by then. Then again, Vox calls Alastor a fossil too.

“Sorry, group attending,

Since when are Overlords too scared to fight?

You’re long past trending,

Sorry, bae, but I ain’t swiping right!

You lost your relevance!”

Oh, Velvette. You #Bitch. “You lost your relevance”? Alastor fucked Vox’s shit up and casually dropped a diss track just last week. The Radio Demon might not be as politically involved as he used to be, but he is most definitely relevant to you and your safety. The entire pentagram lost power, shocking you so badly that your hair frizzed up and stood on end. And remember, he’s the Radio Demon. He can control radio waves. TV, Wifi, the Internet—they all rely on radio waves. If Alastor wanted to collectively nuke the Vees, he could.

Also, really? A Tinder reference? Are there Overlords on Tinder? Or is it Vinder?

At least she threw out a “Sorry, group attending”. It was probably the only thing that kept her from being eviscerated immediately.

“Ugh, no wonder I’m so respectless!

I could eat you lot for breakfast!”

…Bold words to say in front of two cannibals. One of which—and I cannot stress this enough—is the fucking Radio Demon. For someone who’s so trendy that she keeps changing her hairstyle, she sure is falling for an old trick. People have been dismissing and mocking Alastor since he manifested in Hell. Y’know, until he started broadcasting his victims’ screams. And no one consistently recognizes him as the Radio Demon when he’s in his everyday form, so it’s safe to say the disrespect continues.

And—okay. We haven’t seen any of the other Overlords in Hazbin Hotel (I don’t have a clue about Helluva Boss) transform the way Alastor does. Going off the pilot and Mimzy’s monologue, he seems to have multiple large forms, his most common being this:

…And that isn’t the form we see in “Dad Beat Dad”. The eyes are wrong. There aren’t any tentacles. The Radio Demon has multiple skyscraper-high forms and Velvette is actively saying she could “eat you lot for breakfast”. She’d better have a big fucking mouth and some sturdy ass forks. If she has any hands or arms by the time Alastor is done beating her up.

The rest of her song is directly to Carmilla, so it’s not really applicable to anything else. But with all of this, it’s safe to say that Velvette:

1. Doesn’t respect the other Overlords

2. Doesn’t see the point in considering consequences

3. Is either unaware of how her word choice could get her killed or doesn’t care

4. Sees herself as above the others

5. Sees the other Overlords as “a joke” and calls them irrelevant

6. Has a remarkable lack of self-preservation skills, considering the fucking Radio Demon is right fucking there

7. Is blissfully unaware of how fucked she and the other Vees are if the Radio Demon (who, again, controls radio waves) sees them as a threat

And, lastly…the reason she in particular would be fucked over.

“If you ever say that again, I will tear your soul apart and broadcast your screams for every other disrespectful wretch who dares to question me.

And if anyone had any doubts about Alastor and radio waves…it’s on the Wiki.

[rzyraffek]

I made one cute post about slashers(ghostface and yautja) finding random child in forest. Its still in my head so imma do part 2. Its pure platonic made to be cute and funny😊. (By kid i mean she can talk walk normaly already ect)

Request open

Yaujta with human child

Yall this is part 2 but I know that not everyone seen part 1 so basicly what u missed: he finds kid in forest, looks for her perents, turns out they are bab people, he temporary takes kid to his ship...

Yeaaah Temporary, thats what he thought, he rly hoped to find some good place for her but He kinda failed? Lol

He will be grumpy, well no suprise! He didnt plan having random alien kid in his ship! But he cant Just leave her too

He has No clue about perentship so he will probably fail miseribly (trying to feed kid with raw food or trying to train her isnt top tier parent stuff)

But he tires okay! He may stalk some acuall human families to see how bebis work (misspelling bebi is my job)

Wait till he finds out that humans in fact dont train their kids in hunting/killing

Duble points in cutness if kid loves aliens! Like yknow every kid has phases dinosaurs/ponies/aliens/dolls idk what else its been 11years since i was kid idk what kids do this days (I was dinosaur kid myself)

I can imagine kid being like: 🤯alien dad😊 while hes like: 👽we woo *alien noises*👽

No but He will melt if kid calls him alien dad/ space dad/ just dad. He will be suprisingly very happy and proud

Okay okay he wont train his kid🙄 but dont make him cook pls😩. As long as yall are on earth He will steal some food(he is the reason why take out food you ordered 2hours ago never came)

"How are bebis made?" "uh eh they hatch from eggs?(has No clue how to human)"

Kid is very shmol (in comparison) and the ship is verrry big. Kid gets lost a lot. Yautja panics a lot. wheWHERE IS SHE I- EE NOT AGAIN

They love playing hide and seek, tag is cool too but He never knows if he should let kid win or make them loose in 0.23 seconds

He brings her a lot of stuff, mostly paper crayons, toys(dino plushies pls), clothes ofc, stickers. He will kinda love if she draws him or put stickers on his armor. I mean she shoudlnt be in armory and she is banned from going there due to sharp objects but awwwwe cute stickers on his armor

Mostly He is too busy to multi-task (taking care of kid while doing other stuff is difficult) so he just lets kid vibe on his lap or around him overall.

Yautja is very good in learning kid how to deal with emotions (both positive and negative) and overall respect, self defence ect

When kid grows up(teenager) he is doing his best to support her and show empathy (and yautjas arent know for being very emphatic) but please on love of God do not be mean to him he will be heartbroken. As the kid grows he will kinda try to train them with sertain weapons of just simple self-defence. Its not like kid will ever be in danger but its more like dad trying to show his favorite hobbie to his kid in hope that the kid will like it too

Funfact out of context! I liked yautjas before i saw any movies and I thought they had tails :( u can imagine my disapointment

[so-long-soldier-writes]

absolutely random kol mikaelson headcanons

huge maneskin fan

has an anxious habit of biting his nails that bex often scolds him for doing

heavily reliant on autocorrect whenever he texts

he can spell just fine, but is still getting used to the small keyboard

a lot of the time, he pushes 'enter' instead of the send button, expecting it to send, but it just makes a new paragraph and his texts are never actually sent

it pisses his siblings off big time

canonically spends time in records shops to flirt with girls, but secretly has a record player and owns many albums

100% pulls harmless pranks on his siblings, and 50% of the time, they never realize it was him

but one time, he meant to scare bex by hiding behind a door, and accidentally scared elijah, and the man had a fit of rage at his youngest brother after nearly jumping out of his own skin

thinks damon would be a cool friend / murder / prank buddy if they could put aside their differences (wanting each other dead) and give it a try

definitely has mommy issues (what mikaelson doesn't?), but his make him more passive than aggressive

the only people he's ever opened up to, he's ended up killing out of fear of his secrets being shared

loves a good fruity cocktail every now and then, but it's a secret he guards with his life

bonus points if the straw has an umbrella

was never actually going to kill jeremy, he just wanted to get under bonnie's skin

however, he was ready to kill any of them that wanted to raise silas

and would've killed april young for fun had she not been a friend of his sister's, and he and his sister were getting along that day

has a playlist full of songs from musicals that is locked from his profile, just in case one of his siblings look at his account (btw, elijah pays for the family spotify account)

and since elijah pays for spotify, kol pays for netflix, bex pays for disney+, and klaus pays for hbo

they all get the money from the same place, but they feel like they're making meaningful contributions to the family by putting their names on these specific bills

when kol died, bex was not happy about having to pay for two streaming services, but she was not about to miss out on finishing the shows she had started

when kol came back, she immediately gave him back his payment responsibility

whenever they're pissed at each other, they change the password and the one at whom they're mad has to complete a series of puzzles to get access to the new password

kol started this, but klaus does it the most

has a secret affinity for iced coffee, and goes ham for pumpkin spiced lattes every year

pumpkin flavored everything, really

when bex finds out, the teasing never ceases

kol and bex spend halloween together watching movies all day, but then going out and scaring children at night

elijah chides them for being childish, so sometimes they sneak out before he can ruin the fun

wants to kill matt donovan solely for the fact that he slept with his sister

wanted to kill him before, but now it's personal

secretly adores hope, even though klaus doesn't let him near her

braids her hair whenever his brother isn't around, then says elijah or bex did it, and klaus doesn't question it

has tea parties with her and lets her paint his nails

when klaus finally catches them, hope defends her uncle, and her father reluctantly lets them continue to hang out

weapon of choice has been a baseball bat ever since he got a huge satisfaction out of hitting damon with one

likes caroline over cami when it comes to klaus' dating life

likes that caroline persistently rejected him despite his multiple attempts to woo her

painted itty bitty ghost into one of klaus' paintings and he has yet to notice

lives in fear of the day he finally does notice (but not enough to regret doing it)

doesn't often drink so much he gets drunk, but on bourbon, he's a rather upset drunk, however on wine, he's a very giggly drunk

touchier than people would think, and many never realize until he is drunk and lets his guard down a little

has a fear of tight spaces

much prefers being a witch, but also enjoys the thrill of tearing off someone's head with his teeth

no outfit is complete without a little bit of blood

[we-staybhaalin]

Shehdri Junia Djedan Ziani | Human | Draconic Bloodline Sorceress | She/Her/Hers | 28

What is your Tav’s…

favorite weapon: Markoheshkir

most prized possession: her jeweled headdress, it was a gift from her late great-great grandmother, the previous matriarch of her family

deepest desire: to unravel as many arcane secrets that she can get her hands on

guilty pleasure: curling up with her favorite series of raunchy stories with a plate of decadent treats by her side

best-kept secret: nearly ruined a marriage due to a friendship

greatest strength: her intellect

fatal flaw: the arrogance that sometimes comes from having intellect as a strength

favorite smell: lavender and jasmine

favorite spell or cantrip: spell - Circle of Death cantrip - Bone Chill

pet peeve: assumption of her time; wasting it, refusing to respect it, assuming she has any to give without being asked first

bad habit: getting lost in her research for days on end

hidden talent: knows swordplay but specific to an ability to perform a type of dance that is familiar to her mother's people

leisure activity: prior to the rise of the Cult of the Absolute, she spent a lot of time traveling from one magical hub to another, conducting research and procuring rare magical artifacts to either keep for her personal collection or to sell through her mother's shop; she's is fascinated by museums and can be found bouncing from opera house to opera house to watch an exciting new play

favorite drink: Starburst Shandy

comfort food: Sun-Dappled Seafood Paella

favorite person(s): her parents, her eldest sister Horatia, Wyll, Karlach, Jaheira, Minsc

favored display of affection (platonic and/or romantic): both - she's someone who stands strongly in her loyalties to others and regardless of what type of relationship she has with you, will be the first to show if ever you need her aid, her reputation matters a great deal and she is not a fan of her support being taken lightly; purely platonic - she's prone to grand gifts, things you'd never think to want but she has them waiting for you to receive; purely romantic - she tends to be coquettish and a little harder to please but in a playful way, she likes the pursuit and wants to be wooed

fondest childhood memory: when she was preparing to make her case before the Arc of Zefrir, the highest collective of elite mages that comprise of the Ziani clan-- any who seek higher tutelage of the ancient magic that course through their family must first plead their case before the Arc and they must do so successfully; they are cutting and highly critical through the process, seeking not only to weed out the weaker mages from the strong but also those that are worthy of holding the family lineage to their names and casting with the blessing of their ancestors; Shehdri was twelve when she went before them and graciously presented her case for why she should be allowed to be further taught by the more powerful mages of her clan; going home with her mother that day after succeeding filled her with a high she still cannot describe to this day

[hcdragonwrites]

Barbed Words (@journey-to-the-au Fic) Part 2 Tea Trouble

So…. This has turned into …,,, three parts. Yes. Three. There’s a lot of dialogue and I… yeah. It’s a lot of different characters talking a bit. So … ENJOY- I’ll post the last part later today.

The day couldn’t have been more perfect on the mountain. The sun was shedding glorious warmth upon Willows back. She was dressed in her finest court attire to impress upon her sisters. Willow would have been in her more relaxed attire but today… was not the day to buck courtly garb in the sisters eyes. They would be dressed just as she, hair done in loops and paint pressed to lips, as the court dictated. Willow would not let her dress be the reason her sisters turned their nose up at her home.

She would impress those same sisters who came stepping off their celestial mounts with the grace of clouds. But It was like the mountain had heard Willows frantic beating heart and had bent to kiss her brow in comfort. The apple blossoms were in full bloom, the scent heady and sweet on the air. The grass was perfectly green and soft beneath the blanket she was settled on. The tree they were beneath was one strong Honeysuckle, it’s emerald leaves chattering in the breeze as if in welcome to the six sisters who walked forward. The morning dew had not burnt off yet which led to a coolness in the ground Willow could feel. Nature was in its best and most beautiful untamed self.

As her sisters steeds touched ground, a monkey named Ocean and his sister Spray stepped forward and collected the horses. The celestial beasts would be put to pasture to enjoy the days warmth and beauty. Which seemed just fine to the horses, as they swished cloud bobbed tails or snorted vapor into the warming air.

That spring air was fresh and the mountain felt it- the troop was out and about. Littles played and tussled between brambles and thickets. Mothers groomed and talked about their babes or gossiped about their mates in trees with low slung branches. Fathers were about, either tussling with others of the troop or collecting foods and polishing weapons. Unmated males, those who felt the spring air a bit too warmly, strutted and fastidiously groomed themselves. Then they would make their way to the bend in the river where the Water Curtain Caves spray coloured the air in a rainbow. Here the bachelorettes of the troop would be sunbathing. Here they would braid flowers and feathers into fur, and blush or chuckle at the sauntering show ponies who walked by to woo their besotted.

The laughter and the noise of the day was like music to Willow. Her Earthen family was about her, frolicking and living life. It set a small bit of her tension to ease.

Thank you Huaguoshan, Willow quietly said, wanting to kiss her mountain home. It had put on its best colors, it’s most beautiful and harmonious of welcomes. Wukong was dressed in battle regalia, soft leathers and polished armour that could set the suns rays to envy. He had dressed as king upon her request, kneeling beside her as the celestial sisters walked forward.

Summer Turning Flower was the forefront, dressed in greens and embroidered in a stitch of golden apples along the hem and wrists. Willow greeted Summer warmly with smile and a hug as her second sister knelt.

“Oh Willow its so GOOD to see you! A veritable beauty among the beasts.” Summer smiled to her.

Ah… was that intended ? Willow looked into her sisters eyes as they parted. She tried to figure out just what could have happened - or what that had been about. Was it an intentional saying ? Her sister had stepped back, casting her eyes downward.

“Hello Great Sage.” Summer bowed to Wukong, head low.

“Arise sister in law. You need not treat me with courtly courtesy. Wukong will do for my family.” Willows heart wanted to stretch in warmth at Wukongs kindness.

“Oh good.” Winter Frosted Grace sighed. She dropped onto the blanket with only the confidence that she could exude. Her ice blue robes crumpled beneath her as she sat, letting go of stately decorum for her posture. “I have had enough bowing to break a back for one day.”

“Was it a rough time in the palace then?” Willow asked.

“Oh sister dear,” Winter sighed, snapping a fan from a sleeve to wave at her face. “You have no idea. On this escapade I had three suitors try and prevent me from leaving. All of them beseeched me to reconsider for the ‘Grace of Heaven cannot loose another to the Savages’”

As Summer laughed Willow felt a bit of rage begin to build in her. A second slight. This time directly at myself. A small wave battered inside her, hitting against the sea wall she had erected all those years ago. Willow looked to Wukong. He seemed fine- his eyes not betraying the friendly warmth it still held.

“Of course I told the fat man to take his worries back to his mistress beneath the peach blossom trees.” Winter flapped a hand with the fan, as if blowing the man away. “I have no interest in any man so foolish as to think me to flights of fancy.”

At least it is only me they target so. She could handle that. Willow had dealt with plenty a honey coated barb from her sisters.

Another crash of that ocean inside her.

Autumn Leaves Falling, dressed in her habitual golden and browns, was stopped talking to Liu just several paces away. The Marshal had agreed so courteously to be the guard today, to play the role of protector. And though Wukong had tried to dissuade his dear friend, Liu had simply stared him down.

“It is to honor our Lady Willow. To make a show that Huaguoshan is well kept in both beauty and manners.” Liu had said. The Marshal would hear no more of it, his mind set.

The monkey greeted Willows laughing sister with kindness and such delicate court courtesy that Willow felt a wave of love swamp her little anger. Liu, of all the monkeys besides Wukong, knew how nervous Willow had grown. He was always carefully watching everyone and had seen how she had begun to pace It had been He who had first told Wukong of her exertions to the caves after bed to start gathering materials and go over supplies. That had been several months ago when the little bit of chill still hung in the air.

As Autumn came gayly up, she was surpassed by Wind Over Sea and Weaves The Clouds. They came in a whirlwind, laughing and tumbling over eachother. They fell head first into the blanket, grabbing and tugging at one another.

Wukongs quick thinking pulled the tea tray and treats up and away before the sisters could crash into the set and make a mess.

“You cheater!” Cloud accused.

“I didn’t cheat at anything!” Sea countered.

“You wagered and lost!”

“I didn’t wager a thing!”

Wukong set the tray aside with grace and pulled the sisters apart with ease as if her were picking two ladybirds up from a rose bush.

“What is this I hear of a wager ?” He asked.

“Sea made a bet that she has no intention of keeping!” Cloud accused, crossing her arms.

“You didn’t win though!” Sea began, voice rising.

Oh good Greif. Of her sisters, Cloud and Sea got into the most trouble together. It was almost as if they took after their namesakes- each feeding off the other and bringing a storm to blow into court. Cloud was game for any challenge, to prove herself in any contest placed before her. She would get along with Wukong, Willow had thought many a time.

Sea was sly and always seeking mischief. Being the second youngest sister meant she did not leave a lasting impression upon the court. She was too far down the birth order for some to set their sons or themselves to courting. Or she was too ambiguous in courtly power to try an ally with. So Sea had found another way to get attention: pranking.

It seemed like this spat was just the typical stirring of the pot Sea would create.

“I will have peace this day for my wife’s sake.” Wukong admonished them both. Sea at least had the propriety to send a sheepish glance her eldest Sisters way.

“As King of Huaguoshan I will hold court.” And Wukong set the two sisters down taking a very mocking and kingly air. Willow giggled and Autumn chortled while Winter looked on with a tired gaze.

“Oh a game!” Little Weaver Girl came bounding up, the last and youngest of the sisters. Willow saw the genuine smile on her baby sisters face as she settled on the edge of the blanket, her body wriggling in excitement. Little was the gem, the glowing jewel, of the court. She was beloved by all for she was the youngest, the most open, and the one to create the unrivaled robes of their Fathers attire.

“Honestly these two gamble over the stupidest bets.” Winter snorted. She grabbed a teacake, sniffing it before taking a bite.

“I think it’s adorable.” Autumn smiled. She looked back to Liu who stood at attention. “Especially as they play act at courtly politeness.”

Play act ? The water in Willow swirled again, sharks smelling rage. Liu was never Play acting. Of all the world, the Marshal could rival generals in Heaven with his respect and kindness. Willow had to bite her tongue, fingers curling into her sleeve.

“Speak first Sister Cloud.” Wukong intoned, taking to the game quickly and with joy. “What sort of wager did you get cheated out of?”

“We bet to see how many colours of Monkeys we would see!” Cloud glared at her sister who stuck a tongue out.

“A fine wager.” Wukong agreed, looking out over the monkeys who walked by. Willow ignored how her sister Summer curled away from the friendly faces of her earthly family. Or at least she tried to.

Sand Crane, a kind old monkey slowly approached the party. She was one of the older grannies, face worn and leathered by the sun and laughter lines. She walked up to Willow, her smile making her eyes crinkle at the corner.

“For you, Dear one.” And she unfurled her hand. On her palm were some of the ripest berries plucked from a raspberry patch that Willow had every seen. The little gems were large and swelled with tart juice.

“Thank you Sand Crane.” Willow bowed.

“I picked them myself this morning.” The great old monkeys silvered muzzle and hair flashed like moonbeams in the sun. “The east mountain gets a nice breeze this year from the sea. The berries should be sweet for you and your sisters.” Without a second glance, the old matriarch stepped to the side, slipping into a throng of old grannies who set to chatter. Willow held the berries like gold. The east side of the mountain was steeper, the ever present monsoon rains having carved the terrible rock into a steep and slippery trap.

Sand Crane had quietly given her a great gift and had reassured her in a simple gesture. We love you, We want the best for you. Willow felt a swell of love threaten spill from behind her eyes.

I cant cry. I will cry later. And I will find that old grandmother and give her a hug for her kind words.

Willow slipped a cool berry into her mouth. The juice burst on her tongue, made all the sweeter by the gesture. Summer was watching her with a befuddled expression.

“Here- I know how much you love Raspberries!” She held her hand out to her sister.

“You are going to eat that ?” Summer asked from behind a polite smile.

It hit Willow like a slap.

Willow pulled back politely, taking the berries in her hand and keeping the fingers uncurled. She would not. Could not. Make a scene. These had been loving picked and given to me. Sand Crane had thought of me and had gone out of her way to gather them…

The waves inside Willow were crashing.

“And what was your guess?” Wukongs voice had Willow come back from that crashing anger, from that perilous rising sea. She saw the Monkey King mediating between her two younger sisters who had significantly calmed down.

“Twenty five colours.” Cloud said with a sniff.

“Alright. And Sister Sea what wager did you set ?” Wukong asked.

Seas smile was sly, a fox curling its lips around a chickens throat. “I said as many as the rainbow.”

“Which is not FAIR!” Cloud accused, throwing one finger in Seas face. Autumn laughed at the antics. Little simply helped herself to another mooncake, used to her sisters competing.

“But there IS A RAINBOW.” Sea insisted.

“No there isn’t !” Cloud spat like a cat.

“THERE IS RIGHT THERE - AND THEIR ARE MONKEYS BENEATH IT!” Sea hissed back, pointing to the waterfall spray that threw a perpetual mist into the air.

“That’s not a Heaven made one so it does not count!” Cloud sniffed. “It’s not a proper rainbow.”

It may have been the past barbs from Winter and Summer, but this phrasing following so close to Summers rejection to Sand Cranes gift- it stung already sore places. Willow couldn’t hide the small falling of her smile.

“A trickster then is Sister Sea.” Wukong leaned into the two fighting groups, giving a wink to Sea who chuckled.

“Do not make wagers with tricksters dear sisters.” Wukong philosophized, placing his hands behind his back to take a bit of a haughty air. “Especially if they are tricksters you call sister.”

“Aren’t you a trickster ?” Summer asked pointedly, her eyes sliding to Willow. What is that look ment to communicate ? Was she implying that Wukong was not to be trusted? That she had somehow been hoodwinked to come here ?

“Why yes.” Her friend rolled the sharper comment off his shoulder, letting the barb fall harmlessly. Or not recognizing the pointed slight. “ I am the best and most well know of cunning minded and sharp witted tricksters in stories. There are lessons to be learned in many a thing I have done.”

“Could you tell us Wukong?” Little asked around a mouthful of coconut cakes.

“Of course.” He leaned over and grabbed a napkin to wipe Littles face clean. Summer shivered and Winter fanned herself, puffing about the stuffy air. Hold it together Willow. She felt the waves rising, the surf surging in her heart. Wukong was being so gentlemanly. He was poised and well mannered. He was taking care of Little like he would any of his troop. It touched Willow with love. It also made her want to actually freeze her sisters in ice. Or politely push them into a rice field. On accident.

Maybe a good dunking will make them come to their senses.

“Now did I tell you of the time I dressed as my brother Bahjies Ex Wife to trick him into divorce ?” Wukong implored and Cloud, Sea and Little all clambered forward.

Whatever slights these three had said were not meant. It obviously had tickled down from on high. Willow saw the elder of her sister in the corner of her eyes. As Wukong launched into his story of disguise and acting, Willow took to leaning back and gauging the elders of the group. Autumn seemed fine- more amused by the journey and curious. Malicious no. Or maybe ignorant in how malicious her comments come off.

“It’s so hot dear Willow.. why is the air so … pungent?” Winter snapped her fingers and Willow felt her body go ridged. “Where’s the servant with some cold water ? I’m dying in this heat…”

Another slam into the sea wall inside herself.

“I will get it for you dear sister.” Willow said, rising from her place and stepping to the path that would lead to Water Curtain Cave.

“No servants to fetch things?” Summer cast about her, taking in the multitude of simians frolicking and enjoying the air. “No help for a daughter of the Royal family?”

Another crash of that wave.

“I prefer to get things myself instead of relying on others. I wouldn’t want to atrophy with the lack of movement.” It was a very sharp and direct barb but Willow had to deliver the reprimand. Summer had a tendency in court to be sloth like, relying on others to fan her or asking to be carried by palanquin. The harsher and more viceroys women of the palace said it was because Summer wanted to remain diminutive of stature and demur of nature. “All the better to woo our men.” One women, had whispered loudly. Willow would usually not try and use the court gossip to make a point. However … her patience was skating thin. She heard more then saw the intake of air as she walked away.

She hoped that was the last of it.

Willow entered the cave beneath the waterfall feeling a rush of emotions. Today was supposed to be lovely. It was supposed to be like that day back when the sisters had first crept to the earthly river, when they had all been girls and had laughed at the pleasure of just being.

Winter was miserable and melting and growing more corse by the second. Autumn found amusements in Lius severity thinking it was a game when the Marshal meant every word.

If she knew the courtesies Liu had she would never look to another man of the Palace. He’s worth twelve of those vipers in manners and in genuine heart.

Then there was Summer. Her second sister. The one who had the most aversion. Who had turned her nose up at a polite gesture. Willow felt her blood boil.

Willow pressed her hand to the cold stone of the cave, trying to take some of the chill into her blood. She did not want to cause a scene. Even though her sisters were digging for it.

[tinywafflerat]

full list of tadc headcanons woo

(This will get updated as I get more headcanons)

—————————

Gummigoo headcanons

- squishy lil guy

- asexual

- omnisexual, prefers guys

- doesn’t really like water

- in high temperatures he can kinda mold himself into other shapes

- teeth are actually very sharp

- besties with orbsman and pomni (I can be delusional)

—————————

Princess Loolilalu headcanons

- intimidating but really sweet when you get to know her

- bisexual, prefers women

- best friends with Martha (🫵🤨🏳️‍🌈?)

- sleeps an actual normal amount (lies)

- deep hatred of bugs (kinger better watch out)

- really cares about her citizens

- can be scary if she needs to be

—————————

Max headcanons

- anxiety!! 🥳

- can run really fast

- does not understand technology at all

- loves soft rock

- loves listening to podcasts

—————————

Chad headcanons

- loves his boyfriends (max + gummigoo)

- no rizz

- plays fortnite

—————————

Pomni headcanons

- semi feral (sharp teeth) (acts like a cat)

- big fan of lemonade

- autism 🥳🥳🥳

- hates getting wet

- lesbian

- always tired

- separation anxiety

- thinks she’s taller than she is

- transmasc-turned-non-binary (any pronouns)

—————————

Gangle headcanons

- likes writing fanfic about others in the circus

- definitely pansexual

- stays awake reading

- somehow has energy all the time

- ocd 🥳🥳🥳

- demigirl

- stage fright

—————————

Zooble headcanons

- anxiety issues

- actually a really chill person when you get to know them

- pangender

- pansexual

- “gender is nothing”

- listens to lemon demon

- favorite move is Up

- oblivious to flirting

- curses the most out of everyone

—————————

Kinger headcanons

- favorite bug are crickets

- has an insect collection in his room (obviously)

- cishet (not derogatory)

- ally (obviously)

- allergic to dairy

- “I miss my wife.”

- autism 🥳🥳🥳

—————————

Ragatha headcanons

- biromantic lesbian

- people pleaser

- HORSE GIRL 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎

- likes to bake

- does not let pomni bake (pomni’s terrible at it)

- really good at flirting, and flirts a lot (sometimes unconsciously)

- awake at 3 am too much

- secretly a loser

—————————

Jax headcanons

- gay

- transmasc

- is not actually a jerk (lying)

- horrendously bad at flirting

- secretly has a diary

- has nightmares of the farm

- twink

- violence

—————————

Caine headcanons

- does not care

- at all

- about safety

- doesn’t like the moon that much

- regrets making bubble

- idk he’s an ai

- aroace

—————————

Bubble headcanons

- Loves wielding weapons

- actually decent cook

- black belt in kung fu

- agender (the only thing that matters to bubble is chaos)

—————————

yeah that’s it

[kiwibirb1]

Yahaha guess what motherfuckers (sorry I get an intense urge to say motherfuckers after saying yahaha it's affectionate) NEW AU BUT PLOT TWIST ITS JUST WV BUT THE FORGERS ARE DEAD

Sooo first off we start with the basics. It's WV canon up until Sasha meets the Forgers (so anne and marcy are the same in this AU (so far)). However, this time, instead of arriving to an empty snail shell and an overturned wagon, she arrives to an empty snail shell, a destroyed wagon, and what's left of some poor axolotls. She fights the herons, it goes slightly better bc no one to distract her but she still loses eye, dies, does the whole powers thing. This time, however, she somehow finds the strength to hobble into the ruined house, where she finds patches herself up and collapses onto the couch. Wake up in the middle of the night to whimpers coming from the basement. He goes down the stairs, sword out and ready, to find a little blue axolotl tadpole shivering in the corner, alone and scared. Points are connected immediately, and he goes to comfort the poor baby. "Where's my ma?" "I'm sorry."

Yeah so Sasha feels guilty now bc if he hadn't stopped to check out that mushroom he probably would have gotten there soon enough to save them. So the best course of action is obviously to adopt the child. Sasha and Finley (the name he manages to coax out) woo! So yeah events take. A lot longer bc now he's busy raising a child and being on the run so girls don't reunite until they're 18 (two years later than WV). Finley is idk 8-10 haven't really decided on age yet I think.

Stuff under the cut kinda accidentally became an almost fic so yeah it got pretty long so cut for your convenience. It's basically just the girls first meeting. Anne catches sasha, finley saves him, marcy catches finley, sasha reveal but not anne and marcy, sasha and finely escape.

Anyway Anne has finally caught the notorious 'Wandering Vagabond' (Sash had to do a lot more stealing to make sure Finley was properly fed okay) and is about to start monologuing or something idk when all of a sudden she's hit in the bad arm with a hmm we'll decide on the weapon later anyway Anne is hit and while she's distracted this random 9 year old (lets go for a nice middle ground here) jumps out and starts to untie Sash. They free the Wandering Vagabond, and Anne is like "Wait, kid! You don't have to help them if they kidnapped you! We can get you back to your parents!" Finley turns around stops for a sec, as does Sasha. (Although for different reasons. Why does that voice sound so familiar?...) Finley both signs and shouts at the same time, "I ain't kidnapped! Pinky saved me!" Anne snorts, leaning back and crossing her arms. The trees rustle, and Sasha begins to look anxious. She goes to grab Finley's arm, to tug the young axolotl along in their escape, but all of a sudden there is a twang and a fwoosh and Finley is in a net, pinned up to tree right beside Anne. Sasha growls, signing angrily as a dark shape leaps out of the trees behind her. "You better give me back my kid." Marcy laughs, and Sasha freezes once more, though it is much shorter this time as she has already pulled out her sword, and is backing up, struggling to keep both assailants in her one-eyed line of sight. Marcy giggles, and her eyes flash orange for a moment before she frowns and it goes away. "Look, we won't hurt the kid, (Al don't you dare) just return them to their parents." Sasha spits out, her hands full, "Her parents are dead. Now give me back my kid, and I might let you leave here alive, you [some sort of human realm specific swear to tip them off idk]." Anne and Marcy both freeze. (Oh yeah fyi they're all wearing hoods and shit so each of the two groups thinks the other is some sort of newt. and puberty for the voices explanation.) Marcy in her eternal clumsiness accidentally fires a crossbow shot, ripping Sasha's hood off and revealing what is definitely not a newt. Sasha's eyes widen and she breaks off towards the net, slicing through it in one hack of her sword. Finley leaps, kicking Anne in the face, and she stumbles to the ground as Sasha and Finley escape into the woods, leaving behind two dazed newts who are definitely not newts.

ahaha wow okay so thats long but um. yeah. What do I call this bc at first I thought Wandering Vagabonds bc y'know theres two but i would def mess up the tag soo hm. what to do what to do taps fingers thoughtfully. um almost just did Heron and the Fox (y'know like that one fable) but then remembered Finley is blue not orange like my brain keeps saying she is. Whatever Sasha has a child now

[notmaplemable]

Ruby wants Jaune to finally get himself a gun and he agreed. This resulted in few discoveries.

For Jaune has natural talent with gun. In both using them (shooting at grimm) and maintaining them (taking them apart and cleaning)

For Ruby is the fact that she actually like boys and bulky blondes with guns are her biggest weakness

Weapons of Love

Ruby: Here, take this. *Shoves something into Jaune's arms*

Jaune: What's this?

Ruby: A rifle and some ammo.

Jaune: A gun? Why are you giving it to me?

Ruby: You need a long range option Jaune.

Jaune: But I don't know anything about guns, and I'm just starting to get half decent with Crocea Mors.

Ruby: And that's why I'm going to teach you. Just like Uncle Qrow taught me.

Jaune: ...Well okay, but do I have to call you Aunt Ruby while we're training?

***A few hours later***

Ruby: Okay, now it's time to do a little maintenance. We're going to start by disassembling your weapon.

Jaune: Ready.

Ruby: Okay, first clear your rifle and pull the bolt back until in locks.

Jaune: Done.

Ruby: Okay now, pull back on the trigger guard and pull-

Jaune Done.

Ruby: ...How did you- You know what, nevermind. Let's just get to cleaning.

***One rifle cleaning later***

Ruby: Okay now that we're done you'll need to reassemble your rifle. Now don't worry if it takes a minute to do so the first-

Jaune: Done.

Ruby: What? How did you do that so fast?

Jaune: Well you told me to put it back together, so I just did.

Ruby: *Blank stare of disbelief* T-that's enough for today. You should probably go to bed now. I'll take first watch.

Jaune: Okay. *Walks off*

Ruby: ...Why do I feel... warm?

***A few days later***

Ruby: *Has a grimm in her sights, lines up her shot, about to fire*

Grimm: *Dies*

Ruby: What the-

Jaune: Woo! Got it! You see that Ruby?

Ruby: Y-yeah I did. Good job.

Jaune: ...Ruby, are you blushing?

Ruby: No! I'm just warm.

Jaune: Okay. I'll go look for some more grimm! *Walks off*

Ruby: ...There's that weird feeling again. Am I getting sick?

***Later that night***

Ruby: *Asleep*

Jaune: *Dream* Hey Ruby, you want a cookie?

Ruby: Yeah! I'd love a cookie!

Jaune: *Not wearing a shirt for some reason* Well here you go. *Holds up cookie to Ruby's mouth*

Ruby: *Takes a bite* Dewicious!

Jaune: *Chuckles* Adorable. Say Ruby, after we're done eating. Do you want to go down to the forge and make some babies?

Ruby: I'd love to!

Jaune: I knew you would, but before we go... *Leans in to kiss Ruby*

Ruby: *Jolts awake*

Ruby: *Groans* What was that? I-I need to talk to someone about this.

***The next morning***

Nora: So whatcha need help with Ruby?

Ruby: Well I've been feeling weird lately.

Ren: Are you getting sick?

Ruby: That's what I thought to at first, but I only feel weird around Jaune.

Nora: Ooooohhhh

Ren: Nora... Now Ruby, can you describe this weird feeling?

Ruby: Well it's kind of a warm feeling all over, but warmest in my stomach, and then it travels... nevermind. But I've been having weird dreams too.

Ren: About Jaune?

Ruby: Yeah! How did you know?

Ren: Just a guess, but I believe I know what the problem is.

Ruby: Really! What is it?

Nora: You're horny for Jaune!

Ruby: N-n-no I'm not!

Ren: What Nora is trying to say, is that you're infatuated with Jaune.

Ruby: Infatuwhat?

Ren: You have a crush on him.

Ruby: No that- but I- Oh no. It all makes sense now.

Nora: This is awesome! You and Jaune-Jaune are already so cute together. You're going to be just adorable as a couple.

Ruby: What do I do now?

Nora: Well don't do what Pyrrha did and just wait around until it's too late. You should do the opposite of that!

Ren: It's your decision to make, but we'll support you whatever you choose to do.

Ruby: Hmmm, don't just wait around. Do the opposite...

***A few minutes later***

Ruby: Jaune!

Jaune: Yeah, Ruby?

Ruby: Let's get married! And make lots of babies!

Jaune: ...What?

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

This particular sub is a fucking goldmine for terrible MCU takes.

Oh man, so much crap in one place 🤦‍♀️

There is a strange subset of people that are convinced Wanda did nothing wrong

Are they convinced she did nothing wrong or are they trying to contextualize and explain her actions and you're taking that as them justifying what she did?

The military guy saying (rightfully) that she is imprisoning and puppeteering hundreds if not thousands of people

Do these fans seriously think Hayward gave a damn about those people? His beef was with Wanda. He tried to provoke her at Sword's HQ and when that didn't work he kept trying to go after her with the armed drones + his words during Woo's introduction to the Sword agents + when he entered the Hex and started firing at kids. Not to mention this guy was turning Vision's body into a weapon. Hayward was many things but 'good' was never one of them.

90% of people that didn't vote for Wanda never saw WandaVision, MoM or AoU

Wanda was corrupted by Waldron the Darkhold in MoM. She enslaved Westview, yes, and she also let them escape in the end. And she tried to get the Avengers hurt in AoU and joined Ultron, but she also ran away the moment she found out what Ultron wanted to do and she teamed up with the Avengers instead to save innocent lives.

If you don't want us to focus on the good she's done in order to claim Wanda is good, then don't focus only on her mistakes to call her evil. She's a complex, morally grey character. Face that and stop searching for a black/white reading of her, ffs.

She enslaves a town to live out a perverted fantasy with her dead robot boyfriend and her non-existent children

Oh, the dehumanization of Vision and her kids. A classic. Also, didn't these stans love BARF? What Wanda did was pretty much that except she has such power that she could make it real. (In case it's not clear, I'm not defending her actions in Westview. But if we can understand Stark's trauma then I assume we can understand hers.)

Tony fights for his belief the same as Cap does

Fighting for your beliefs doesn't automatically make you a good person. You know who else fought for what he believed in? Thanos.

Stark spent years mistaking safety for control, and since no one in Marvel was ever allowed to call him out or correct him, he kept on doing that over and over again first by helping with the helicarriers of Project Insight, and later with Ultron and Edith. Wanda was only a few seconds in his head and she saw it so clearly.

He tries to save as many people as possible

That sounds like a line said in CW... oh, but it's Steve's, not Stark's. Funny that. But I'll say this again, controlling is not saving. Oh, and saving isn't just showing up during a battle and kicking ass. Saving is so much more than that and Stark's actions hurt a lot of people - the difference is that, unlike WandaVision, those victims were never part of the story so you don't care about them.

Cap and the others were criminals, he couldn't just release them from the Raft, they broke the law he's trying to enforce

I don't understand, where is Stark's authority to even attempt to release them anyway? He had retired from the team, he was a civilian throughout the entirety of CW. He couldn't have released them, only broken them out like Steve and Nat did. And... I got a question: was he trying to enforce the Accords when he broke them to fly to Siberia?

And if he didn't want to break them out of the Raft, he could have at least told Steve that they were there. But he said nothing and let them rot there.

When did he ever do anything close to what Wanda did in WV and MoM, she is straight up evil

And he made a fortune out of selling weapons for war, and he refused to tell the team about Ultron and that robot ended up destroying an entire country, and he signed and I'm pretty sure he also promoted the Accords even though he knew they would violate the civil rights of all the enhanced in the world, and he built Edith with full access to satellites and missiles upon request.

Sigh. This is what happens when a character has full narrative protection for so long. People start thinking he never did anything wrong.