#she didn't do anything I'm just happy
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I love my wife
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Incorrect, the fact that Biden has dropped out and a candidate with history of supporting medicare for all and being more receptive to a ceasefire in the I/P conflict has made me go from "I cannot morally support the Democratic nominee" to "I am voting for the Democratic nominee despite the fact she isn't perfect in every respect." I'm really happy this played out. The Dems for the most part abandoned the old Obama platform and it feels like its possible an actual progressive agenda could come to pass in my lifetime.
Kamala 2024!
If you weren't going to vote Democratic in this election before Biden dropped out you're a dorkass loser who does not care about any of the issues you're yammering about here and also a fundamentally bad person, and I hope you get run over by a bus.
But you got one thing right in all of this gibberish, Kamala 2024.
#personal#answered#anonymous#i mean let's be clear here no president is gonna attempt to be progressive ever again within my lifetime#because joe biden tried to do like 25% of that and got ZERO fucking credit#he did so much on healthcare on reform on loans on so many social issues and for all his litany of failings on i/p#he has been distinctly harsher on netanyahu than a good chunk of dems and certainly the entire republican party#for the first time since i was four we are not involved in any wars as americans and that is thanks to joe biden#but the thing is that he gets no credit for any of it!#him pulling out of afghanistan caused his approvals to tank in a way that never recovered#and leftists gave him FUCK ALL for it#they gave him nothing they just continued whining that even tho he cancelled a bajillion in student loans#he didn't actually cancel a QUADRILLION dollars so both parties are the same and voting is the most arduous task known to man#no democrat who is running is going to forget that catering to leftist/progressive policies gets them zero leeway with those supporters#that it not only tanks numbers but you still get constant haranguing about it anyway#so they're not gonna do it#we are gonna get fuckall for at least a good fifty years#and anything we get will be utterly in SPITE of people like you anon it will happen in spite of everything you've done#mostly because of people like me and mine who understand that voting is the bare minimum#and that for the democratic process to work the way you want it to you need to participate and not pitch a fucking fit#like a four year old who was told they can't go to disney this weekend#like i know you ratfuckers are happy this played out because this is all a game to you and you don't actually care#but that's why i've got zero faith in you people and why i'm glad it's my kind of folks#actual die hard democrats who have always been hardliners for supporting democrats in every possible election#who are picking up the slack and donating to harris and supporting her agenda#which is the exact same as biden's because she's his vice president and they share they same platform#because that's what they were both running on! twice!#anyway fuck you please feel free to find a necktie and test how tall your doorframe is
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Hii Ms.Hatano hiiiiiiiiiiiiii
#i'm really happy with how big i was able to make her look#you can't expect me to do anything Ayame and not give her more muscles lmao#i didn't really wanna give her gloves but stuck to it since pretty sure all the agents from the foundation's field division use them#why is she going on missions outside while the tragedy is still dying down ON SHORTS is beyond me but hey that's how the IF ilustration was#she's just a freak like that i think#ayame my beloved#dra#danganronpa another#ayame hatano#sprite edit#edit#hyena scribbles
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yay a week until my 29th bday ✨🔥😎🔥✨
#about myself#heldig life stories#birthday#it's hard to believe that a year ago in that same period of time i wrote my last will haha#the only reason i didn't make an attempt on myself was my hyper responsibility 'cause i wanted a notary to approve my last will#so my beloved ones would have no problems with my property and my corpse after i die#but i had no time to do so and then my husband led me to psychiatrist and she confirmed i'm having a suicidal depression all my life#after i described my habitual living she was shocked that i managed to go so long without any medication just on my inner will itself#just because i constantly pushed myself forward from 'you need to go everyone counts on you'#but then it was awfully worsened by my long term burnout due to constant work crunches to the point when my inner will became not enough#and i stopped functioning like a normal person completely: not eating not getting up from the bed not wanting anything except disappearing#now i'm on antidepressants and it feels like i'm awake from a living time nightmare#it would have been so much easier if someone gave me antidepressants back then when i was 14 and tried to take my own life for the 1st time#fortunately unsuccessfully#so it will be another happy birthday to me that i wasn't supposed to live haha#don't be like me pls don't ignore yourselves and your condition and instead take care of yourselves dudes <3#go to the doctor if you need to it's neither scary nor shameful - it can literally save your life#hug you all tightly
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hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!
#probably the nerdiest thing i will ever read in my entire life but I AM SO HAPPY#Its the unabridged and corrected 1992 republication btw. if you wanna get specific#the only book in which i have actually decided to read the introductory notes and i do NOT regret it because the editor's one IMMEDIATELY#brought up the “oh but surely the second dimension has thickness how else would flatlanders see anything” AND GAVE A REALLY GOOD ANSWER.#which i cannot tell you here. bc it is several paragraphs long and idk how i would shorten it. i would hit tag limit. if thats a thing.#anyways. I'm only a little bit into the first part which basically explains how Flatland works as a society so i haven't even gotten to the#sphere yet but OH MAN I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT A ROUND OBJECT IN MY LIFE#IM LOSING IT OVER THIS BOOK AAAA :D#me: im so glad i dont have a math class during my senior year! now i dont have to learn anything math-related!#also me: but what if i started studying a complex and almost entirely theoretical part of geometry#bc YEAH i didn't just buy this book bc of gravity falls. I BOUGHT IT BC IVE BEEN RESEARCHING THE 4TH DIMENSION WOOOOOOO!!!!!#one thing i will say i dont like. introductory note suggests the the 4th dimension might be time. this is ok tho bc its followed up with#also saying that time is not a spatial dimension and exist across the 0 1st 2nd and 3rd dimensions which. that epuld mean we live in 4d#already. so. i was worried for a second but THANK YOU THANK YOU OH MY GOD PEOPLE TRYING TO SAY “OH THE 4TH DIMENSION IS TIME” I HATE THAT SO#MUCH AAAAGGHHHH AT LEAST RECOGNIZE ITS NOT SPATIAL!!! TIME IS NOT A SPATIAL DIMENSION!!!!!!! IF IT WAS THEN 4D TRAVEL AND TIME TRAVEL WPULD#BE FHE SAME THING AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MUCH COOLER POSSIBILITIES WPULD BE THROWN AWAY IF THAT WAS THAT CASE!!!!! AND. AND. IF THE 4TH#DIMENSION IS TIME. THEN WHATS THE 5TH?? 6TH?? YPU CANT KEEP GOINF ON FOREVER LIKE THAT. YPURE JUST MAKEING MORE 3D WORLSS WITH STUFF IN#ADDITION TO TIME. INTERESTING BUT THAY IS NOT ABOHT HIGHRER DIEMSBSJSNSBAKAJSHDHDHHDHDHDJ#sorry for the rant. jsut. agh i want a spatial 4th dimension. i dont think tesseracts exist through time that would just be an aged cube#anyways yeahhh i love the 4th dimension. new hyperfixation or new special interest? ill have to wait and see. anyways i have done it i have#an oc whos 4 dimensional now and she is the coolest ever i love her#but yeah this book is sosososo good i am literally gonna bring it to school to read instead of draw bc i would lose it if i didn't#10/10 would recommend to anyone who wants to Think
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saturday no plans so i get to do this all night
#curlfeather#podlight#and storyboard my sadlyricstuck#i haven't felt this inspired in a long time i'm very happy about it#peter is podlight. obviously#he knows about her plans and he doesn't want anything to do with it#but he doesn't try to stop her. because he knows#nevermind i have to go build legos#this post broke like three times#ok back to this now he's not the dumb antagonist he is in the books. because that's very stupid#him and curl did the opposite of traumabond but they're on well enough terms by the time she's close to graduating high school#he didn't do the best he could have as an older brother especially at home but he did have his own things to worry about#he goes to all her games to try and make up for it#he isn't terrible but he just isn't all that helpful either#i'm not trying to make curl look defenseless here though she's definitely experienced in the game of fighting off her father#neither of them like reed which is what really matters here. lol#he's probably kind of a dick! he cares about her but he is very angry himself and older by a fair margin so they struggle for a long time#i'm sure he would have liked being an uncle though it'd be nice to give frostpaw one more person to trust. at least for a while!#wait i have to clarify the lyricstuck thing is a joke it's a frostcurl video
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How I imagine myself (aka want to be)
Vent in the tags (sorry in advance)
#Honestly almost cried while sketching this#I feel so stupid#Like why did I agree to wait until i'm 25 to transition#Oh wait I know#Because I love my parents to much and they only really support me if I a) am 25 or b) my mental health is really really bad#Also it's that part of my mind that's doubting everything. That it's just a phase. That i'm not actually transmasc#Also the psychologist I used to go to supported the idea to wait till 25 and was talking about some whos she knew#And how that girl wanted to be a boy but she got a boyfriend and she didn't want to anymore#Or that boy who wanted to be a girl but later found his identity and was secure in his agab#And she kept saying/asking; “Would you be able to accept to be just a manly woman??” And similar questions#And I know it's stupid but because of it I just keep questioning myself over and over#Because now i'm especially scared it's something I grow out off#But I just want to look in a mirror and be happy#And while I do like my clothing. I want other stuff but I feel goddam dysphoric in that#Only things I can change about me is piercings and my hair but even that is something my parents aren't really keen of#Atleast the length is something they are okay with but if it's kinda more a “”man's style“” and I hear only “oh my god it's so manly"#Honestly I just hate that i'm to scared to do anything about it#All the while I suffer#cause I just cant get out of the house without a binder. Always checking how my profile looks like. Crying when its not how I want it to be#Or almost crying when my mom says “that size is better for a girl like you because other wise it looks boyish” even when I confided in her#transmasc#transgender#trans artwork#Trans#Artists on tumbr#Lgbt#my art <3#my own post
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the end of exams has been the biggest goal for me to get to for a couple of months but now it's here i'm realising everything is still awful even if i don't have to study for hours on end
#this is the inevitable post-exam exhaustion situation tbh#i told myself i'd sort it all out once they were over but i still can't respond to my parents. ventposting because my dad just tried to cal#btw#cant pick up#i'm so tired#just seeing his name on my phone screen makes me so scared and sad like i was all christmas but if i tell him that who knows what he'll do#probably shout at me#or tell me it's painful for him to hear and make me feel so guilty#or ignore me for a week then i'll worry he's dead#im so so scared that he thinks i don't want to talk to him or don't care and that's why i'm not responding#idk what he'll do if he gets too deep in that belief#and i want to respond and act all happy so he knows it's not true#but i can't#and my mum . :/#she's always been my mother who i love above anything else but now she's just a reminder of everything and i can't stand it#need to get away from them pls i wish i could tell them to leave me alone without the inevitable paranoia my dad will kill himself#and my mum will neglect herself#as she's admitted to doing because i didn't talk to her for 2 days#as i know my dad does too just because he doesn't care#and now i'm the worst person in the world because i can't reply and be all cheerful despite knowing these things#can't even chat to my housemates smh i fucked that up too#i'm too autistic to hold a conversation no matter how badly i want to#glad i'm not going out tonight wow#it would have gone SO badly#tw vent#i guess#got to stop this jfc
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Yesterday I've been doing some proper physical exercise for the first time since last year and I'm just imagining how proud my f/os would be of me🥹
#it was just a 20 minute beginners home workout and I can feel every muscle in my body now but I think they'd be so happy I pushed through!#I've had particularly Heinz and Maximilian on my mind I think they would be sooo happy that I'm trying to take better care of myself💖#Heinz because he's always there anyway of course but I kind of imagine Max is probably overall the fittest out of my f/os#he seems like the kind of guy who'd want to be an example for his soldiers and always hold himself to the same standards as them#he'd be so supportive and cheer me on and be proud of me every time I get myself to do something😭💖💖#I've never particularly enjoyed doing sports (aside horse riding but in the past year I didn't have time anymore for that bc of uni😭😭)#so I didn't really do anything anymore after I finished school#I started doing simple home workouts last year but in winter my mental health went a little📉 and then I had no motivation to keep going#dunno how long I'll go through with it this time but better than nothing I guess#again with the home workouts lmao bc driving to the nearest gym ain't worth the time for me and I'd need some basic fitness first anyway#I'm doing it mainly for health reasons but this time I'm also motivated to actually get a bit stronger#I don't mind looking like a stick figure and I'm overall content with my body (maybe it could help me to look a bit more masc tho?👀👀)#but I know especially for my posture and such it would be good if my muscles were just a tad bit more developed#my mum was proud of me too when I told her about it hehe :) she works in healthcare she's always a little concerned#she's just a little worried about me getting health issues when I'm older that could be avoided by taking proper care of my body now#I get where she's coming from but it's not easy but at least I'm motivated to try again now :)#selnia talks
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Hands you my silly little durge and her goth girlfriend who have strange and peculiar t4t shit goin
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 shadowheart#shadowheart#bg3 dark urge#bg3 durge#durge#dark urge#might color/add some extra shit to this but tbh i'm happy with it#didn't even do like a sketch to line over for this i just kinda went nuts doing quick lines#also i have shadowheart in some modded armor hence all the belts......#my durge however is just like. drawn in what i default to drawing characters in ajhdgsajhdg#also yea my durge is like. 5 foot 3 so she's SO much shorter than shadowheart but they look like they're the same height in game#so i drew them closer to their in-game heights than their actual heights in this#I HAVE ALSO FINISHED SHADOWHEART'S STORY LINE THIS IS MOSTLY THEIR ACT 1 DYNAMIC JAHDGJAH#their act 3 dynamic is closer to 2 wet beasts with the saddest eyes barely making it through anything cuz they're both Not Okay#also i did this shit while high if i remember right?? so some anatomy and shit might be wonky but tbh i love it#col art
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Ruby:
#Tiger & Bunny#Tiger and Bunny#I love Tiger and Bunny the dumb teenager edition so much as well#I thought they were gonna be irritating but Nope#they managed to make them different enough that it wasn't a copy paste#and the whole being teenagers aka dumbasses was also well done#Ruby being like 'sure onii-chan I Totally Believe You'#was so funny to me#I actually really liked her and how she related to them#I find it interesting we didn't get much Subaru backstory compared to Thomas#it didn't really detract from the story so I'm not threatening to sue over it or anything#but it makes me wonder#I loved the way he gets so protective of these two?#makes me feel like maybe some shit happened to him in the past or something#maybe he lost someone or doesn't have a good relationship w/ his own family#but I just felt like he got so protective of them and their happiness and I really loved it#I absolutely think Thomas DID go back bc he was worried#but of course after what Subaru said he would never admit it so he used the Audun excuse#like the fucking 'I forgot something important [like maybe your adorable dumbass partner???]' was Great#like I said I love their progression#they go from having an even worse relationship (bc they're stressed out dumbass teens)#to having that special Tiger and Bunny™ brand of miscommunication#where I'm trying to spare your feelings but you're trying to spare mine and etc. etc.#both trying to protect the other#I love it#I hope to see more of them if we do get it#saw someone say they might not have another series in them but maybe another movie#and I agree I think they're more likely to do a film if they do anything which is like#Bunny finishing his career and Kotetsu somehow getting dragged back in despite having no powers#bc this is Kotetsu what do we expect
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I have no one to talk to about AU stuff so I'm just concept doodling and going insane
#Mephiles#mephiles the dark#sonic au#solaris#teeth#gore#technically? it's dry gore#my man be kinda crumbling as time goes on being split#thankfully for him it's not deadly just a pain in the ass; he can recharge by contact with the yellow super emerald#Knuckles is not happy about this. this creepy dude will not leave his house and he can't do anything about it#cause it was technically Solaris's house first#long story#most my shit is worldbuilding so there's always some weird details like that Solaris is literally the yellow Super Emerald#I should probably tag that actually since it's technically a character in this au#Yellow Super Emerald#I know Mephiles more associated with purple but I have reasons; I have a whole pepe silvia style thing going on with the super emeralds#these guys are so stupid and dumb all the time but also can change dimensions and be such a problem I love them#there are other canon guys that are also super emeralds but this aint about them#something hilarious to me about these petty gods maliciously ignoring their siblings getting fucked up cause 'I'm in my lane'#like babes; please; your bro is the head landscaper for Time as a dimension and he's being used as a science experiment by humans who know#not what they do; maybe you should be concerned about that#anyways I love beings beyond comprehension that absorb just enough personality to communicate but not enough to know how to do it *well*#Mephiles could have talked to someone like a normal person but naw he thought manipulating teenagers into fights would be the best way to#fix things. although tbf from his perspective Shadow swung first and Meph holds grudges and just wanted to fuck with him back#anyway; technically a 'good guy Mephiles' au; he's lawful good/neutral but he's an asshole about it; doing shit like pretending to kill#teenagers (there was no blood; Sonic didn't literally die and Solaris was trying to fix the timeline so it wouldn't even happen)#because it seemed like the easiest solution to the problem; essentially hardcore scaring the hiccups out of a kid#I'd like to believe even he'd recognize that being so incredibly resistant to crying probably indicates some underlying issue and she gets#therapy in his fixed timeline. especially cause he'd 1000% kill the duke way earlier like that guy tortured him apart yeah he ain't livin#my art
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#edel vents#disclaimer: really personal issues in the tags. also wishes of death upon others. this is PROBABLY too much information tbh...#so if you're not up for it scroll down fast!!!! the deluge is coming!!!#today was... eventful. bad. also very bad. grandma's birthday celebration was today#and while she... definitely has Old People Issues (racist) shes also very lonely since the death of my grandfather so i can't really not go#i'm the only one who really visits her regularly to begin with#aside from the... very serious racism issue... she's “alright”. i guess. but that's besides the point. there's family there#and among those... my parents. which i don't like to talk to#discovered they threw more of my old stuff away. typical. wanted to strangle them. as usual.#had to “talk” with my mother (read: spend approximately ten seconds reciting exactly why i *don't* talk to her anymore)#so that whole ordeal completely soured my mood.#went home tired. can't really do anything right now.#at least the food was good i guess. but i also really want to cry... which i can't. which sucks.#...i really like to think i've improved as a person. i used to be really hateful of everything and everyone#worst of all myself. still kinda do but i'm... getting better..?#i like to think i've grown past most of it but every time i see my parents i feel this gripping at my heart. as if i haven't really changed#as if instead i'm still the hateful person i “always was” deep down... bc there's this visceral joy that i feel whenever i'm mad at them.#when i looked at my mother and told her how much i despise her i felt a shiver of happiness. righteousness.#to be clear: i do NOT care for her. at all. she's the worst person on this earth#and the only person whom my philosophy of “nobody deserves to die” does NOT apply to. i'm not scared of hating her.#she genuinely deserves this. but...every time i see my parents - and thus her... i feel as if i'm slipping back into that mindset of hatred#i don't want that. not anymore. it consumed me whole. i was a horrible person back then and i've caused so much grief for so many#i can't let go of this hatred. i can't forgive them. they don't deserve my forgiveness anyway. but i'm tired of hating.#i'm tired of letting that hatred define me. i'm tired of letting that hatred direct me. i'm tired of letting it bring me to ruin.#i'm tired of being who i was. i'm no longer “that”. i'm edel now and i'm happy for people now. if i don't like something i just walk out.#i can just leave. “if it sucks hit the bricks” right?.. but i didn't. i had to say it. i had to tell them. her. and i liked it.#and... i'm scared of that. because it tells me i haven't improved.#i'm not sure what i'm expecting out of posting this i guess. maybe help. maybe i wanna be told that this is normal or something.#maybe i just want to get my thoughts in order. i don't know. i'm gonna stop writing now.#sorry for making you read all this. thanks for doing it anyway. tags were cut off on this one btw so it may look like a mess. but. yeah.
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me rn
#I HAD SUCH A NICE DAY#AND IT'S SNOWING TOO🥺😭#spent the whole day with my friend and her boyfriend bc he's visiting and it was literally so nice omg#maybe controversial opinion but i actually love being around people in love#and girl? i wish i had someone looking at me the way he does at my bestie#and not to jinx anything but he's such a nice guy you can easily tell he's a good person and cares about her a lot#the cuteness aggression i was getting for them... stop.#and i think it's also very nice that he wanted me to tag along for the whole day with them bc he wants to get to know people#who are important to her#so we took a walk around my city and went to a museum and for some food and idk it was just. so nice#AND i did all that in english🫡 and my spoken english got rustyyyy omg ;-;#i'm so so so happy for her <3#AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY#apparently there's a specific mannerism that she got from me but didn't do it that much#but when they started dating HE GOT IT FROM HER AND DOES IT ALL. THE. TIME. APPARENTLY#so it's kind of like he got it from me even though today was the first time that we met properly lsjdhsjkdjcjf#anyway. i'm filled with so much love and joy rn AND it's snowing#the vibes are immaculate#agnes talking
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.
#holidays have not been what i hoped for so far 😔😔#well the first week was good but then i got sick 😭#and it's been so awful#having a cough is literally the worst i couldn't sleep it was so bad#and i couldn't even enjoy doing anything really because you can't properly focus on the thing bc ur coughing non stop#i hate it sm#and today it was gone all day only that now it is back altough not as bad as before but still#it always gets worse in the evening#like help i just want this to end#what made it even worse i had real plans to study and now i barely got anything done 😭😭#and now i'm scared for exams bc i couldn't follow the plan altough i still have more than 2 and 3 weeks left#in my mind i already think i'm gonna do badly bc i need to study more i'm afraid#and i'm also upset at myself even though it's not my fault i got sick but i keep thinking i still could have done more ughh#to make it even worse i coudn't play tennis for a whole week and i was so looking forward to playing everyday (and improving) 😢😢#i couldn't do any sports or see anyone i miss it sm#i hope at least in the new year i can do stuff again 🥺#it was just the worst cold/flu and idk why whenever i get it it's that extreme 😵💫#or idk is it normal that you can't sleep bc of it ... i just don't wanna get sick again ever lmao it's the worst#i guess christmas was still nice it wasn't that bad then and it was a lovely day with my family :)#and our tree was really pretty this year and i'm really happy with my gifts and also those i gifted 🥰#the week before was good i did play lots of tennis and i went on a christmas market with uni friend and to vienna for a trip with my mom ^^#but maybe it was too much sometimes i wonder if i do something wrong or if it is just bad luck like i did train a lot#and i played a tennis match for my club and won against a higher ranked opponent so yay 😁#and i played really well i feel like i once again really improved my level :)) but i did play kinda sick already so maybe that was rly bad😅#maybe i should stop doing that 😅 but i didn't know it's gonna get this bad i just had the worst headache and sore throat#well ig i should have known but i also always feel like i have to play and i love matches and like my team needs me?#who else would have won that? i'm one of the best at my team and the others who are rly good weren't there that day so i felt responsible 😅#honestly my mom possibly she is also quite good but it would have been close and i wasn't sure so i played 😅#but i have done this too often by now... playing sick i really can't help myself 🤦♀️
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5 Happy Things
Dec 28, 2024
it's been a while since i did this so the fact that i remembered and wanted to do it is nice <3 also bonus it makes me think of my friends who do it too
my family is so wonderful and kind and i have been granted such goodness and fortune
my friends are so cool and brilliant and i have been granted such goodness and fortune
bf got me this nougat-like dessert from china and it is so good y'all
found out fb messenger has an ocean background that has a whale as the default emoji
#5 happy things#i was talking to me mum this morning and she was like 'i'm sorry your body is so bad :((' (in a nicer way LOL)#and i was like. tbh. my specific bad body is such a small thing bc i'm not like in chronic pain or anything and it's not severe#but to experience and know the care that others have for me while i'm unwell is to know a greater love than i would've otherwise#so i think i would rather suffer illness and pain and have known how grand the love my mom has had for me#than to have lived a perfectly healthy life not knowing to appreciate and care for her as she has for me all along#my body isn't even that bad BTW. do not let my tags give you the wrong idea#in other news i've been doing this 60 day bible reading plan with some of my friends and it is SO fun#it's the kind of insane where it's like who cares if you're behind? who cares if you're failing a bit? let's all fail a bit together!#but it's also just really cool to fly through the bible like this#and it's a joy that i didn't realize i could have to share this with friends#which sounds so dumb but i've never had any christian friends before so hbgweisdjol#btw my nonchristian friends are equally awesome and loveable and cool. JSYK.
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