#she could have been so much but they choose to make her the ultimate billy supporter who likes to party

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 5 part 4

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

(this is a sad one, apologies in advance)

agatha just had the unimaginably traumatic experience of her mother's evil ghost possessing her body, so of course she cracks jokes. she's shaking like a leaf, but hey, coping mechanism gotta cope!

when evanora tried to execute agatha, stealing secrets or whatever was only an excuse, she was punishing her daughter for the sin of being born. whatever she says, her so called worry for these other witches is also an excuse. she's simply furious that someone has begun to think of agatha as a person rather than a monster. it's once again a selfless VS selfish paradox, evanora is always framing her actions as selfless and for the greater good, but her hatred for agatha is undeniably raw and personal. I would love to learn what evanora's life was like, who were her parents? what turned her into such a hateful mother?

(look at how angry rio already is. and alice always protecting the person closest to her by default.)

this is the ultimate humiliation for agatha, someone who has always kept her past and struggles so close to the chest. now one of her deepest traumas is laid bare for everyone to see and judge. she's always trying to come off as strong and unfeeling and formidable, but here she is, a sad little girl abused by her own mother.

btw I see you all have strong feelings about ghosts and billy's powers! lol I got so many comments. I see you, I see you! Granted I'm not actually super invested in my ghost theories, this being a made up marvel show and all, but here's what I think:

agatha says to wanda, "you have no idea how dangerous you are, you're supposed to be a myth, a being capable of spontaneous creation, and here you are, using it to make breakfast for dinner!" agatha, one of the most powerful witches ever existed, could not create food for nicky. like, the scope of wanda's powers (and billy's by extension) is the kind of scary that can reshape reality itself and truly and properly fuck up the Sacred Balance or whatever rio calls it.

when I say billy created a ghost evanora, yes it's a copy but in the same way a Star Trek transporter makes a copy, you know what I mean? whether the orignal stays behind or not, billy's evanora is the real evanora. and if you believe in souls, that gets even more complicated! did billy take evanora's soul from the afterlife and plopped her in here, or did it copy it too? and was wanda actually able to create billy's and tommy's or did she catch the wandering soul of stillborn twins?

see I don't think evanora was a ghost prior to this (again, I might be proven wrong in the future, but this is where I'm at right now). if that were the case, you know she'd been haunting agatha's ass, wouldn't have given her a moment of peace. maybe rio took extra care to send her to the afterlife, idk. now rio looks shocked and angry to see evanora, like this is a new development.

rio's voice is literally roaring with anger

like i cannot overstate how much rio hates and despises evanora for what she did to agatha

evanora zeroes in on rio, approaches. rio takes a whole step back and makes herself smaller. she's nervous. she says that ghosts are cheaters, but it goes beyond that, doesn't it? rio understands life and death, but a ghost is neither, or both. it goes beyond all her control and expertise, and for the first time since we've known her, she's at a disadvantage. ironic, isn't it, considering what happens to agatha in the finale?

agatha, who's been cowering in a corner, chooses this moment to approach. does she want to protect rio and billy and the others? or is she so desperate for an ounce of love and affection from her mother that she, coward as she is, actually wants to put herself in arm's way?

while everyone is focused on agatha, alice looks at rio. she is putting together evanora's words, agatha's terror and rio's hatred. jen is being selfish. alice, generous alice, could never be selfish

the last time agatha saw her mother she was still a kid. now she is a mother herself and the mere thought of not loving, not wanting to protect your child, of actually going out of your way to harm them? it's simply inconceivable to her.

the shock. the tears forming in her eyes. the same heartbreak she felt when she realized her mom was about to kill her at the stake. she's feeling small and wretched and unloved like only a parent can make you feel

it's the matter-of-fact tone she uses. it's worse than hatred. she despises agatha beyond hatred

there is a moment in a child's life when they see a parent clearly for the first time, their weakness and their flaws. this is especially true for an abused child, it comes a day when you realize that despite being called bad and evil and blamed for the pain happening, it was never really your fault. agatha knows what a parent's love should look like now. and this is not it.

rio visibly deflates. she is the only person in the room agatha opened up with about her mother. there is nothing she can do to spare her pain now. she has no power against evanora

alice has a blinding moment of shock, realization, pity. she knows only too well what generational pain and trauma can do to a person. but she still had a mother who loved her. agatha didn't.

jen, who used to be a healer, can no longer feel compassion. jen has had to learn to protect herself above all others. because evanora hurt agatha, and agatha hurt jen in return.

and when it's all said and done, agatha will always beg. all her power, her brains, her experiences are nothing. she regress to that girl at the stake. I can be good. please.

alice, who's always been the first to jump to everyone's defense, who always puts others before herself. she has seen agatha bare and helpless, she has seen that raw core that agatha has always hidden and, in her final moments, she's accepted agatha in her coven. it's more instinct than rationality, but alice has always been a heart over head kinda girl. if she can see the harpy, if she can see the pain, by GOD she'll do something about it.

“The Knight of Wands.” full of fire, fights bravely.

lilia's gut-wrenching scream. she knows what is happening. agatha already told her.

a succubus who hasn't fed in so long. I keep thinking, there was never anybody who loved her enough to teach her control, to seek alternative solutions to satiate her hunger. rio never could, rio cannot interfere with who lives and who dies. but could a coven together have fed her? could a big coven have donated power little by little, and kept her safe and valued and protected? nurtured her in every way? or was she always doomed from the start? was evanora right, did alice sign her death warrant the moment she chose to love agatha? I know what my answer is to all that, but what do you guys think?

and another question for you: billy casts around desperately for help, nicky answers. was nicky, or rather a shadow of nicky, created by billy too? or was the son of Death powerful enough and scared enough to reach out on his own, maybe with just a little push on billy's part?

a name was all it took for agatha to pass her trial, and look how much was needed to get it out of her. only billy's chaos could do the impossible: drag agatha's ravaged and wrecked heart to the surface. billy only wanted to help her heal, but he's a just a boy with the power to shape the universe. it took evoking ghosts and dredging up horrible trauma to make all of agatha's defenses crumble and raw-beat her into admitting her pain, into maybe, if we're lucky, starting on the road to recovery. oh, billy. you don't know how to handle things gently yet, with your big man's hands and your young, too young soul.

she stops IMMEDIATELY. she didn't know how to control her hunger, until now. the monster was human all along

by. as in, by billy, because he did it all. and also, good-bye. good-bye, mama.

oh, alice. there are no words.

and now they're no longer just numbers, just fools she conned and killed and abandoned on the road. now it's the girl with the big luminous heart, who sang the Ballad with her, who shared her same pain, the first human being in agatha's life who wanted to selflessly help her.

there is a moment, in a child's life, when they see a parent clearly for the first time.

go to episode 5 part 5

[presiding]

How you'd rewrite Dishonored death of the outsider if it was fully fledged game with 10 missions? (like Dishonored or Dishonored 2)

Oooh!! Enrichment in my enclosure - thank you for asking! Thinking about a total rewrite was a great exercise. Fair disclaimer: I haven’t read the books & their canon-status can’t hurt me. To me, the Dishonored games stand out due to their immsim design philosophy, and thinking about some of the industry reasons for DotO’s departure from that, if I could make a standalone game with ~ten levels I would, but with the same budget I’d also happily make two DLCs made slowly over a longer timeframe with greater attention to detail.

Game structure

Finding Daud // Billie’s past

The fate of the Outsider // Billie’s future

Game story

Setting & Characters

Billie: What has Billie been doing since she’s returned to Serkonos? Knowing the Dreadful Wale will sink, she’s sold it for scrap & has set up an agency in Lower Aventa. She’s something of a detective/odd-jobs man (& assassin when it suits her). Business is booming, life is good. I think a long-running implication that she's becoming Daud in some ways would make for an interesting subplot.

Karnaca: a city that unfolds. In the first levels, Billie feels like a forgotten woman, a ghost slipped through the cracks, but as levels progress there are hints & references to how her past actions have affected others & shaped the city

Alignments: Witches, gangs, religion, industry; missions for clients who can’t necessarily pay their way. Missions that allow the player to explore/understand Karnaca in a deeper way.

Daud: Billie is unsure if Daud again will bring her any closure. She’s been thinking of him since her time with Emily, and his name keeps popping up.

Deirdre: the charm is a more functional heart, similar to Jessamine, as well as her own character design. Perhaps she doesn’t see Deirdre until she chooses the powers, or until she’s in the void (see next point)

First arc: Finding Daud // Billie’s past

Powers: the Outsider offers Billie powers even though her life is finally, actually good, so she’s pissed off. A choice - she can take them, or play no powers mode.

Breanna Ashworth is this arc’s villain - she wants Delilah back, and knows that Daud has banished her before, wants to know how he did it. Grief & desperation has changed her, and she no longer has her high society veneer. The remnants of the Karnaca coven, now powerless, have stolen from the Overseers to arm themselves to the teeth, and to neutralise Daud’s powers, in addition to black bonecharms.

Billie’s in a race against time against Breanna to find Daud, but by the last level it becomes clear that Breanna *has* found Daud, and has been torturing him for information about the void. Her dynamic with Billie is complicated by their past.

I think betrayal would be an interesting theme, so maybe one of the levels gives you the option to ally yourself with Breanna under false pretences.

Second arc: choosing the fate of the Outsider // Billie’s future

Delilah is the core villain, but she’s obsessed with killing the Outsider so she can take his place, having been violently ripped from her perfect world in her own painting by Breanna (who meant well), & knowing the Empire doesn’t hold her interest... but a perfectly mouldable void & infinite power does take her fancy.

As remorseful Daud is obsessing about preventing Delilah from taking power, Billie’s doing some detective work and learns more about the Outsider (he’s not showing up and monologuing - she’s finding this out herself. A level idea could be a raid on a ‘haunted’ houses where the void is thin)

Delilah succeeds in taking the Outsider's place, leaving the Outsider dead or mortal depending on if you are able to save him. Delilah has split her soul from herself before and she’s very much clever enough to learn the Outsider’s name to render him mortal.

Daud knows he’s dying, though, and it might be an ultimate sacrifice to save both Billie’s life, and the Outsider’s.

So during the final battle, there’s an option to make Daud the Outsider, because Daud wants Billie and the Outsider to have a shot at a normal life, and his life was forfeit in his own mind…

�� or, reluctantly accepting the Outsider’s help, Billie finds a way to cut the void’s access to the world, rendering Delilah an all powerful god over a dead & silent world.

Because of the past/present focus of this you could even have levels set in the past - missions with Billie & Daud. Perhaps Billie as POV character, and Daud dropping by the way that Billie did in Knife of Dunwall. That’d be neat.

A heap of ideas here, hope there was something you liked :)

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck Week 2024

Day 7 - A Song You Associate with UU: This Is Your Sign by Citizen Soldier

I said that Favorite Arc was the hardest and cruelest choice among these prompts, but that was shortsighted of me. This is the hardest choice I've had to make this entire week. My Undead Unluck playlist on Spotify is over 140 tracks of songs that in some way made me think of UU, either thematically with the series as a whole, with specific characters, with specific events, etc.

However, I was able to make that decision about 90% easier by narrowing it down to a single band: anyone who's been following me for a while should be unsurprised that I knew from the beginning I'd be going with a Citizen Soldier song, but I've got 14 of them on that list, and they're all great as UU songs. Despite how much I've talked about it, though, I don't think I've ever explicitly shared what about them works so well

Citizen Soldier's lead singer, Jake Segura, is a clinical therapist, and views his music as a form of group therapy. Many of his songs deal with themes of depression and suicide, either from the perspective of someone crying out for help or the one responding to the call

UU literally starts with Fuuko attempting suicide, and the overarching goal of the story is Andy's elaborate assisted suicide. Tatiana's request for Billy to send her to see her parents, Chikara's wrestling with whether his parents would want him to atone for their deaths, Rip permanently wounding his eye during his botched suicide attempt; nearly every character contemplates, desires, or attempts suicide at some point or another

But they are all also saved from their lowest moments. Andy appears as Fuuko stands on the ledge, Billy gives Tatiana a homemade treat, Fuuko showed Chikara that his life had purpose, and Latla stopped Rip just before the blade hit his neck. Even Andy's desire for death has clearly faded since meeting Fuuko, learning that his real desire is to live surrounded by people that he loves

If you're standin' on the ledge and you hear this song play I'm tellin' you, this is the evidence If these words find you alive and it's still not too late I'm tellin' you, it's no coincidence

This Is Your Sign is about those chance meetings, that feeling that the world is against you and that you might as well give up only for something to suddenly change and give you the push that you need to hang on a little longer

This is your sign, a shootin' star, a satellite in space That who you are is so much more than all your darkest days This is your sign, it's just the start, and everythin' could change This is the moment you'll remember you decided to stay (you decided to stay)

The people, the sights, the experiences that make life worth living are the privilege of the living. Choosing death means giving up on possibility, trading everything that could be to escape what is. If Fuuko had successfully committed suicide, she never would have befriended Tatiana or Mui or Chikara. She never would have had her whirlwind romance with Andy, she never would have gotten to wear beautiful dresses, she never would have gotten a second chance at attending high school, and the world itself would have been destroyed. Juiz would have failed to loop, and the Union wouldn't have made it to the final world. UU takes the concept to its logical extreme, but the ending of Fuuko's world would have literally been the end of the world

If you're wishin' you were dead and hear my voice, this is fate 'Cause this is meant for you, yeah, every single word If it seems nobody cares and you're alone in your pain No matter where you are, this is the miracle that you deserve

Citizen Soldier's songs want you to know that something better is coming, that if you keep going you'll eventually find something to make it all worth it. Sometimes it takes a miracle to remind us of that, but ultimately it's our decision to fight on. Someone or something can come into our life, but we have to be the ones to save our lives

Barely holdin' on and scared to death There's a reason that you're hearin' this and you're not dead yet If you're waitin' on a reason why (the reason why) This is your sign to save your life

Andy was Fuuko's inspiration, but she was the one to embrace her Unluck for Andy's sake. She was the one who decided she didn't want to die anymore. She was the one who decided to loop to do for everyone else what Andy did for her

Undead Unluck and Citizen Soldier both helped me through hard times. They both equipped me with tools to cope when I was down, with weapons to keep fighting for the life I want

There are so many other songs I wanted to talk about today. Irreplaceable, Through Hell, Stronger than My Storm, Hallelujah (I'm Not Dead), and many more. If you need a soundtrack for Undead Unluck, you really can't pick a better band than Citizen Soldier

If I've convinced you to give them a listen, I hope you'll find at least one song that helps you the way they've helped me. I hope whatever you're going through right now, that this will make it easier. I hope that anything I've said in this post, this week, or even the last four years has helped you in some way. If you yourself have been waiting on a reason why, then please let this be your sign

Thank you to everyone who participated in Undead Unluck Week. Thank you to everyone who helped show me that my current favorite is as well-loved as I always knew it could be. Thank you to everyone who read and enjoyed my posts this week. You've all helped me to enjoy life, and I hope I've done the same for you

As I said yesterday, and in every chapter review for the last several months: until next time, let's enjoy life

[okthatsgreat]

Finally, what would your ocs choose if given that choice at the end of lgowab.

OOOOOOOOOO FUCK YESSS i love oc questions always and forever mwah mwah mwah

spoilers for lgowab under the cut!!!! and i mean SPOILERS this is like. the very end of the story gfhdskgk

ooooooo this is a tough one... this is assuming that danganronpa had been watching them pretty heavily throughout this convention, enough for them to be selected as the one to MAKE the choice in the first place.......... half of these people would not even make it this far but ASSUMING THEY DO:

• rie: kyoko. brainwashed into being anti-ahl, is very frightened and desperate at that point and would shove a lot of the responsibility onto kyoko rather than do anything too "risky"

• ryobe: hard to say honestly, could see him not shooting. isnt able to hold any gun in his hands and would have shit aim regardless just because of how bad he would be shaking. this isnt to say that team dr wouldnt just take out whoever he had pointed at themselves but still i think he either becomes so inconsolable that he doesn't shoot or he ends up mayyyyybe firing at makoto. or maybe at himself idk

• naomi: doesn't make it to this point in any universe, but if she hypothetically did i reckon she'd be similar to ryobe in that she can't find the strength to shoot somebody else (which is all ironic and crap) OR she fires off at the director, gets everybody else in the building killed in the worlds most awful mirroring of her own killing game, and THEN takes herself out

• billie: depends. she's an easily influenced character who latches on to different charismatic presences for guidance. her choice depends on who managed to get in her ear throughout this entire killing game i reckon. most basic answer is she doesnt shoot, but i can honestly see somebody from the ahl getting in her ear and swaying her towards shooting makoto but that ahl member would REALLYYYY have to work hard

• yoshito: oughgh probably kyoko. he's an extreme pacifist so it would hurt him a lot, but i think he would have been poisoned by team dr enough that he reluctantly takes the shot rather than abstaining. maybe in one universe he gets so fed up with how his class has been treated he points at the director but kyoko seems far more likely

• mika: honestly. makoto. she's a lot more vindictive than yoshito is, not to mention she would project a lot of her own resentment towards her not having a talent onto him. he is the ultimate lucky student that "made it", that became the ultimate hope but then BETRAYED everybody, and he is everything she wants to be and everything she totally despises. makoto definitely

• erin: also wouldn't make it this far due to ahl (especially considering the fact team dr would have had to have been watching her for a while for her to be making this decision in the first place!!!). hypothetically if she was there it would be an immediate shot fired at the director or makoto

• sae: ouguhg this ones tough. because she would really think about it she really really would. she's smart and (maybe???) calm enough to know that not firing at anybody will get herself killed, same with firing at the director, and shes not willing to let that happen so she's going to aim her gun at SOMEBODY, just unsure who....... her decision would rest a lot on how she went through this killing game as a whole and i can honestly imagine a lot of different outcomes for her so it's a tough choice. because shes on the enforcement team im gonna say that kyoko is most likely but makoto is a close second

THANK YOU FOR THESE QUESTIONS SO SO MUCH THEYVE BEEN FUN <333!!!

[stevethehairington]

1, 2, 3, 8, and of course... 11 for the ST ask game ♡

ahh blakeeee!!! ty for sending so many!!! 💕💕

(also omg i was almost entirely finished answering all of these and then i fAT FINGERED MY KEYBOARD and it deleted everything 😩 i tried my best to rewrite them as best as i could but damn. rip to anything that slipped through the cracks)

1. Favorite character and your favorite outfit of theirs?

ooh okay i think i have to go with steve harrington as my favorite character, because as much as i love eddie, steve has been IT for me since the beginning. steve has taken me on a whole journey, i have been right there with him since the beginning. i am ride or die for that bitch!! lkdfjsl.

and as for favorite outfit, ohhhh man that's tough. he's got a LOT of good ones!! but. if i had to choose one, it would probably be that cute little bubble vest fit he wears at the end of s3 when he and robin are bring their resume in to family video. it's just so cute and he looks so good in it, and also his hair with it is Thee Perfect Length for me, like i love steve with his hair long enough that it starts to curl at the ends. the whole Look is just too good.

(this one!! i couldn't find any good photos so this gif will have to do)

2. Favorite season of Stranger Things and your favorite scene in it?

this is another hard question because my answer totally depends on what exactly is meant by favorite lmao. like, if favorite means which season is the one that i love most and has captivated me the most then the answer would be season 1, because that one is just next level!! like, the vibes, the relationships, the mystery, the conflicts, the discoveries!! it's all so good and s1 does a FANTASTC job of setting up the whole show!! but then if we're looking at favorite as meaning which one did you have the most fun watching and enjoyed a lot then my answer would be season 3, because that season is just SO fun!! it's so vibrant and bright and it truly encapsulates summer so well!! not to mention it gives us scoops troop my BELOVED, and we see more of the relationship between steve and dustin my beloveds, AND there's more erica!! AND this season gives us ROBIN!!! AND ROBIN AND STEVE!!! so!!!! its a huge win and its a great season for those reasons!!

3. Favorite scene in the entire series?

i think this is probably going to be SUCH an obvious answer because it's probably the one everyone and their mother gives, but, i HAVE to go with robin's coming out scene. like, it's just one of the best coming out scenes i've ever seen. and that is ENTIRELY because of maya hawke. like god, her expressions throughout that whole scene? as steve describes the girl he likes and it becomes strikingly clear that he's talking about robin and robin is sitting there like how do i break it to him. god her face is just. SO REAL. and then when she says "steve" in that tiny whisper of a voice, and her eyelashes sort of flutter like she's trying not to cry and she gives him that LOOK. MY GOD ITS GOLDEN ITS SO FUCKING GOOD. im tearing up rn just thinking about it. and then steves reaction too!! his little oh, and the way he just immediately starts making fun of robin's taste in girls, just steadfastly accepting her and not making it into something huge and scary. just treating her like shes robin and not anybody or anything different. the way robin feels SO much relief and joy and safety there. god its just such a beautiful scene and so powerful too and i just love it so so much.

(i do HAVE to give a shoutout to the running up that hill scene at the end of dear billy because NO scene has EVER given me chills the way that one did. the way max's grief has been drowning her and the complete turning point this scene was for that. like this was the first moment that she chose to not let that grief win. she fought it and she fought it hard and she pulled herself out. she had help, of course, the memories of her friends, the ones she loves, but it was ultimately HER that saved herself in that scene. and godddd its SO powerful and its SO well done and just the way they used that son is INCREDIBLE and also sadie's acting in that scene is just PHENOMENAL, and then when it ends and max is in lucas' arm with dustin and steve surrounding her too and the soft instrumental version of running up that hill plays as the screen goes black. C H I L L S!!!!!!)

8. Favorite weapon/power?

another super basic answer probably but what can i say? my favorite weapon is 100% the nail bat. i mean, who wouldn't want a wicked baseball bat full of nails to swing at monsters?? i mean come on that is so badass. but ALSO i love that the bat has a little bit of all of the original monster hunting trio in it? like it's nancy's baseball bat, but jonathan is the one that put the nails in it and it was meant to be his weapon, but then steve claimed it as his own and used it and bam now it's his. i just love that symbolism!!!

11. Your opinion on Tommy Hagan?

HAHA I LOVE THAT YOU ASKED ME THIS ONE FKDDSFLKD (also the "of course" sdkfjdslf i am THAT transparent huh 😂)

nah but i fucking LOVE tommy hagan. he's just one of those characters that isn't necessarily given a firm backstory or anything, but there is juuuuuuust enough personality that it is SO easy to build your own backstory and mold it and him into something you want it to be — and boy oh BOY have i done that with tommy myself lmao.

but yeah it's like — the tommy we see, sure, he's an asshole, and yes, he says and does some really shitty things, BUT i don't think anything he's said and done has reached that level where it's like totally and completely irredeemable, yknow? like he's not so far gone that he can't turn himself around (hello!! steve did!! and sure, maybe steve is a kinder, nicer person at his core, but if he can do it, so can tommy, especially given that tommy idolized steve so much.)

there's just something to me that is so fascinating about taking a very simple one dimensional character and giving him layers. giving him three dimensions. putting him in scenarios and giving him motivations that explain WHY he is the way he is and HOW he got there and WHO influenced that? filling in those gaps makes him a MUCH richer character and in turn makes his interactions with the other characters SOOO much more interesting and layered.

like, i love to think that tommy is the middle child in a large family of all girls. he's got two older sisters and two younger sisters. i oscillate between liking to think that his parents are still together but overwhelmed with work and the girls and other responsibilities, or that theyre divorced so tommys grown up with a single mother in charge. either way, tommy ends up sort of forgotten, just a bit. there's not enough attention for him, which is why when STEVE gives him attention for the very first time, when he CHOOSES tommy for the first time, tommy is stuck on him for life.

their friendship grows and so do they and steve stays this constant through it all, and that means so much to tommy. i think that once girls start to show an interest in steve and once steve starts to show an interest back, tommy gets jealous, because that means that steves full attention isn't on him anymore. (and whether you look at it through a 'tommy has a crush on steve' lens or not it still applies either way ((though as im sure you're all aware i DO look at it through that lens LOL))).

carol joins their group, and either steve nudges tommy towards her or tommy nudges himself towards her because, well, if steves gonna get himself a girlfriend, so is tommy because he's not getting left behind. and he loves carol, he does, but also it's a lot more complicated than that (see the beginning of my latest fic, keep me on a rope, for more on The Complicated Relationship of Tommy Hagan and Carol Perkins because ohohoho boy do i have THOUGTS on that).

and then nancy wheeler happens and steve gets his heart broken AND his world rocked AND the biggest thump on his head of his life and suddenly he's not tommys best friend anymore. he's not even his friend. and that fucking HURTS tommy. because look at that? even STEVE left in the end. and so tommy lashes out. he gets meaner. he latches onto billy hargrove, but he doesn't give a shit about tommy. he puts up that protective shell so he can't get hurt again, and that means never letting anyone in again. that means settling for what he has, who he has. that means stewing in these hurt feelings and this awful grudge and the hatred for years and years until—

somewhere down the line (way waaaaaay down the line) tommy gets tired of it. he gets sick of being bitter and lonely and miserable. and he finally gets HIS thump on the head. he does some digging deeeeeeeep into himself and he does a lot of self reflection and he realizes that fuck. he's been an asshole. he's been a jerk. he's been a total dick. he's hurt people he loved, people who didn't deserve it. he's pushed them away. he's isolated himself. he's turned into this shell of what he could have been.

and so he starts to work on himself. starts to make amends.

or he doesn't. that's a possibility too. he can get stuck in his ways and he can live out a bitter lonely miserable life too!

but that's the thing about tommys character — he can be and do and say whatever you want!!!! and THAT is why i love him so much.

(plus, as i said it is just SOOOO fascinating to explore his relationship with steve and with carol because BOTH are SOOOO complicated and SOOOO layered and there is just SO much going on in that little brain and body of his that even HE can't sort through it all.)

stranger things ask game

[lordkingsmith]

It’s funny because one of my projects is a musical. The main character Renelde’s I Want song is called A Wedding And A Casket. To be clear the casket isn’t for herself or her bethrothed. It’s for the (already married)guy who told her she could get married to anyone but himself over his dead body. The good thing is he is 100% dead by the end of the planned musical. Her I want song is also more or less a “how I’m gonna do it” song. Her Want is happiness and marrying the man she loves. And seeing the villain dead in the ground. She’s gonna get both so yay!

If I was giving an I want song to a non musical wip…well I have two in mind. A fanfic crossover and an original work.

For the fanfic it is cheating a little because it’s Just Dance, which lore wise is canonically a reality where it’s just a giant jukebox musical always. And even when you’re not in the middle of the song and dance routines you are aware of the jukebox energy around you. Dance Dance Rebelution is a power ranger and just dance crossover of mine with the main character being Billy Cranston.

His I Want song would be about wanting a proper romance with his love interest in the fic, Zack Taylor, or having his ultimate ambitions granted. Zack represents safety and love and family, everything Billy hasn’t really ever been able to achieve in any truly meaningful way. His ambitions keep ruining this. But if he has his ambitions, maybe he won’t need any of that…he knows he has to choose one or the other. But he wants both, badly. Since it’s a jukebox musical world Billy falls into I already have a song picked out for him, but if I was making an original song…yea, those are the themes I’d focus on for him

As for the original work, the one I’m thinking of is about a young boy who inherits the train conductor status of a magic train that runs on and delivers dreams. The main character is a twelve year old named Rody. And if I was giving him an I want song I’d be similar to Belle’s in beauty and the beast. “I want adventure in the great wide somewhere” is very much him. He’s twelve in a backwater town in Colorado. He already feels smothered by living there and he wants out. He’s also running with a little group of mean older kids who dare him to break into the home of the guy who will make him the conductor. He’s nicer than he lets people see, wants adventure and to learn how to be brave and true like a hero, and wants to be more than some punk kid in some backwater small town. His song would definitely be while he’s breaking into the property, and all about what he wants and wishes.

This was a really cool writing exercise, thank you!

Here's a writing exercise for you, if you have a novel in the works. You know in musicals, when the main character sings an "I want" song? It's usually the first or second song. It sets up the protagonist's fundamental desires and feelings. You know, it's

I want to be where the people are

I'm not throwing away my shot

I would go most anywhere to find where I belong

It's such a fundamental part of a musical that many argue it can't be done without. People criticised the 2020 Mulan for having flat characters and that's because they cut all the music including Reflection, which does the whole job of telling you the title character's background, motivation and personal stakes in a single short song.

So, writers, I'm not asking you to write a musical for your novel, nor am I asking you to even write an "I want" song, but rather, picture what your protagonist's "I want" song might look like. How would they instantly communicate their motivations and desires in an easily digestible, two minute song? Would it be bold and inspiring? Would it be slow and emotional? Maybe you jot down a few lyrics or a key line.

I guarantee your protagonist is going to feel a lot more alive and relatable if you are able to communicate what's in that "I want" song in the first few chapters of the book, and your readers are going to fall in love with that character as much as you have.

Reblog and let me know what your protagonist's "I want" song would be!

[randomnameless]

Oddly enough Sothis has Rhea listed as her closly associated character. I suppose its because as in leaked dialogue Rhea apparently doesnt recognize gremlin Sothis as her mother. Predictable but dissapointing Intsys wont let Rhea have any dialogue with her mom. :/

Where did you find the leaked dialogues? Is it on redshit?

We know in game she is puzzled when Billy says they see a gremlin in their head, but hey, IS can't give us a dialogue that doesn't exist.

Yes they can develop Edel's mindset and have her be bamboozled by Lissa and Mila because the seeds of doubts were here, in the game, sadly FE16 didn't want to make them grow else, I'm sure, a certain route would not be played -

(I still fully expect Izuka and Edel to have a FB dialogue about "science" and the means to reach an end).

Rhea and Sothis?

Don't take it too bad or seriously, but the Sothis given in-game is a shell of her former self, only here to stroke the player's ego and give them superpowers.

Sothis is the living manifestation of the topic I raised earlier, where one abandons responsability to live as they want.

Yes, Sothis was killed by angry mole people because she punished them when she was the arbitror of the world - and yet, when Fodlan (and her daughter, her sons and her granddaughter) needs her, she is... absent. She only returns to mess with Billy or to marry them, and... that's it?

How can you reconcile Rhea, who feels like she has to bear the burden of helping and guiding Fodlan - for forever until her mom returns - with a Sothis who cannot give any fucks about her family or the world she died (well went to sleep) for?

How can you reconcile Rhea "Mother I missed you so much people are hunting us for our blood and bones, Flayn was kidnapped last month for her blood, humans are warring against each other I don't know what to do anymore how can I lead and protect Fodlan I don't know - " with Sothis "wew if I were you and had a body I'd dance and sing everyday! Party yay!"?

With a Sothis who, thanks to her monstruosity of a S support, doesn't emote at all or appears to mourn when the terrible story of her children's vivsection and slaughter is brought to light?

Forget Edel and the framing, IS cannot give us any dialogue between gremlin!Sothis and Rhea, else the sassy gremlin in your head isn't a sassy!loli who's secretly a grandma, but a deadbeat mom coupled with a deadbeat god who only wants to party and have fun, let the world or her children be doomed.

They can't tank their mascot like that!

[looooooooomis]

F I N A L  G I R L  |  O N E

You were his final girl.  And there was no chance in hell that anyone or anything was going to mess that up.

p a r t   o n e  |  c o r n   m a z e

masterlist here 

pairing: Billy Loomis x f!reader  word count: 4.3k warnings: implied/referenced cheating, swearing (obv), angst, drinking, fluff, pending smut + mentions of smut. as mentioned, part 2 will be allllllllll the smut x

You were going to kill Randy.

In fact, as the five of you crossed the threshold into the corn maze, you thought of the various ways you could do it without it coming back to you. You could strangle him with the tape of one of his precious Jamie Lee Curtis flicks, you could push an entire shelving unit of said movies on him during one of his shifts, hell, you could just lure him over to your house with the promise of sex before ultimately throwing him out your window. Any of the above sounded good to you tonight because the bastard was running late. Which meant that you were currently fifth wheeling on what was supposed to be a slightly boozy corn maze with your friends. Only now it was a slightly boozy corn maze with yourself and two loved up couples as you all impatiently waited for the idiot to arrive.

Yeah, you were definitely going to kill Randy.

You and Randy were friends, had been for years, and you were always there for each other when it came to these types of activities. Nobody liked being a fifth wheel but at least with two single people in your little gaggle of friends, it made things easier. You were happy as a clam being single, you preferred it in many ways if you were being honest, but at least with Randy around, you could ignore the weight of his stare.

Billy’s stare.

His brown eyes were on you constantly. You could feel them on your skin, feel them raking over every inch of you as though he was trying to soak you in from afar. His stare had a weight to it, you found. No matter how far away he was or where you two were – be it at school or hanging out or even in a goddamn corn maze – you felt him all over you.

At least with Randy around, it was easy to ignore. The two of you could joke around and escape the couples long enough to focus on anything else but the weight of Billy’s stare. But tonight, it was impossible to ignore, and you hated Randy in that moment for unknowingly leaving you with the one man you hadn’t been able to get out of your head for the better part of three years.

You hated Billy more, though, for making you feel as though every inch of your skin was on fire. For making you feel this level of guilt each and every time you hung around with Sid. Sid was one of your best friends, as was Tatum, which only made this entire situation so much worse.

“You think they’ll kick us out if they find out we’re loaded?” Stu asked with a quiet chuckle, glancing behind them for effect as though he was being tailed by the owners of the farm.

Tatum smacked his chest. “Maybe if you said it a little louder, Shit for Brains.”

Stu giggled again and slipped his hand into his jacket before pulling out a mickey of cheap vodka wrapped haphazardly in a brown paper bag. “Then I guess they’d be really mad at this.”

Tatum opened her mouth to tell him off but seeing it as your only saving grace, you reached across the divide and plucked it out of his hands to take a big sip. The vodka burned all the way down your throat, and you could feel all eyes on you as you licked the remainder of it from your lips and bottled it back up before handing it back to Stu. “You’re a saint, Stu.”

“Damn, Y/N,” Tatum laughed, “I can’t even be mad at that.”

Stu was smirking across at you, knowing exactly why you were choosing the bottle tonight which only made you feel worse than you did. Of course he knew. Where there was a Billy, there was a Stu. The pair didn’t have secrets between them much to your chagrin which only made nights like this all the more awkward.

“Everything okay, Y/N?” Sid asked, sweet as ever.

Your stomach twisted in your gut at the genuine concern radiating off of Sid’s features and your heart fell into your stomach when you watched her lovingly place her head on Billy’s shoulder. Where the fuck was Randy?

“All good, Sid,” you smacked on a breezy grin and shot her what you only hoped was a convincing wink. “I haven’t done a corn maze since I was a kid, just preparing myself is all.”

Tatum leaned into Stu’s lean torso and frowned. “Why? You scared?”

“Nah, she’s not scared,” Stu hummed, grinning across at you with a gleam in his eye. “On edge, maybe. Why so jittery, girl?”

You rolled your eyes and flipped him the bird just as Billy spoke up. “She’s not jittery, pencil dick,” his velvety voice was closer than you’d expected and when you saw him reach for the bottle in Stu’s pocket to take a rather big gulp himself, you swallowed hard. “She’s just getting this party started.”

You held his stare for a moment, feeling your entire body light up like a switchboard, before the familiar voice of Randy rang out. Breathlessly, he waved you all down and grinned. “What’s this I hear about a party?”

Tatum rolled her eyes and hugged her jacket closer to her body. “About time you got here, dick, it’s fucking freezing out here.”

“I know a way we can warm up,” Stu teased as he leaned down to nibble at her neck.

Despite your mood, you found yourself smiling across at the pair. They were a good match and you could tell that Stu genuinely made Tatum happy. Just as Billy made Sid happy. Your smile fell at the thought.

Randy’s eyes circled around your group of friends briefly before he threw an arm around your unsuspecting shoulders. “What did I miss?”

“The usual,” you chimed in, smiling across at him. “Tatum and Stu sucking face, Billy and Sid cuddling up and me drinking my weight in cheap beer from Stu’s dad’s mini fridge in the garage.”

Randy grinned. “I chugged a couple beers before I left the video store, so good to know we’re all on the same level.”

Your chest was already starting to feel lighter now that Randy was around. Granted, Billy’s eyes hadn’t left yours for a second since Randy slung his arm around you, but that was to be expected. At least you had Randy here now. With that kind of distraction, you’d be just fine.

“Why don’t we make this interesting?” Billy suggested, running a hand through his unruly mop of brown hair. When everyone’s eyes were on him, you could have sworn he gave you a little smirk before shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket. “We should split up.”

“Fuck that,” Tatum laughed, “no chance in hell.”

“Yeah,” Sid agreed quietly, “I don’t know.”

“That’s literally what they tell you not to do in scary movies,” you chuckled. “When everyone splits up, trouble starts.”

Sid shivered and leaned into Billy’s chest. “Yeah, Billy, I don’t know. I don’t think that’s a great idea.”

“Oh, come on,” he was grinning excitedly now, looking between Stu and Randy for backup. “It’ll be like the movies. Dumb teenagers wander into a corn maze and split up for the sake of the plot. Halloween’s tomorrow - why the hell not, right?”

A slow grin began to pull on Stu’s face as he listened to Billy. There was a mutual understanding between the two men in that instance and if you blinked for just a second longer, you would have missed it.

It made you nervous.

“Dumb teens wander into a corn maze on the night before Halloween,” Randy repeated, “you know what, I like it. I’m in.”

You snapped your neck up to look at him. “What the hell happened to the Do’s and Don’ts of a horror movie? This is easily number one: Don’t split up.”

But Randy only shrugged. “I’m still a virgin, I’m safe.”  

“How about you three idiots stick together,” Tatum gestured to the boys, “and the three of us stick together. Whoever makes it out first gets a prize.”

You and Sid were nodding along to her words, but Stu simply pulled her in for a quick kiss and laughed. “Or we all split up and see where the night takes us.”

“I’m not Lewis and Clark, Stu,” you grumbled, “I had every intention of letting Randy and Sid lead us out of here alive while the rest of us idiots followed.”

“Don’t worry, Y/N,” Billy smirked across at you, “I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

Sid seemed to still be unsure of the entire situation as she mulled over the suggestion. “Y/N is right, what if people get left behind?”

“It’s corn, not the berlin wall,” Stu pointed out incredulously. “Fucking walk through the stacks until you find an exit if you get too lost.” As if on cue, Stu’s eyes lit up as he noticed one particular bend of the maze that held six different options. With a burst of laughter, he took off running towards it and pointed to his newfound discovery. “If this isn’t fate, I don’t know what is.”

You, Sid, and Tatum begrudgingly followed the boys to where Stu now stood giddily beaming across at everyone. “This is a stupid fucking idea,” Tatum grumbled as she took her place in the row beside her boyfriend. “We only brought one flashlight, how do you idiots plan on seeing the route?”

“Here,” Billy gently tossed the flashlight to Tatum and shrugged. “Moon is bright enough for me.”

With another roll of her eyes Tatum flicked the flashlight on and scowled across at her route. “Girls, if you see a flashlight, come to me.”

Stu laughed. “What about me?”

“You lost that right when you agreed to this stupid idea,” she groused. “You’re on your own.”

Grinning – and probably much drunker than he gave himself credit for – Stu rubbed his hands together and began counting down from three.

“You okay to do this, Sid?” You found yourself asking. Her mother had only died a few months prior and the idea of the poor girl meandering around alone in a cornfield sounded barbaric considering what she’d just been through.

“I’m fine,” Sid vowed, “I’ll see you guys soon.”

“It’s okay, Sid,” Randy muttered. “You’re safe, I promise.”

By the time Stu reached one, you took a hesitant step forward and embraced the darkness that surrounded you once you delved further and further down your path. You could hear the footsteps and crunches of the stacks around you as your friends eventually all split up to take their own trail and you swore that you heard Randy bump into Sid a few minutes in, putting you slightly at ease to know she wasn’t going through the maze alone. But, as time went on and you continued to circle the gigantic moonlight maze by yourself, your nerves began to eat away at you.

You weren’t one to scare easy but there was something about being on your own in the middle of a corn maze that was eerily off-putting. You’d seen Children of the Corn one too many times to feel at ease right now and the fact you could only see a few feet in front of you at any given time wasn’t helping one iota.

Hugging your denim jacket tighter around your body, you turned left and were met with a dead end. Groaning, you threw your head back in defeat and turned on your heel to retrace your steps but stopped when you heard a loud snap come from the wall of tall corn stacks before you. Swallowing hard, you narrowed your eyes in an attempt to see through the wall of decaying crop, but it was to no avail.

You couldn’t see a damned thing.

Another snap of a corn stock echoed out before you, making your skin crawl. Why the fuck had you agreed to splitting up? This is exactly how every horror movie you’d ever seen started and sure enough, here you were. About to be killed by a child of the corn on the eve of your favourite holiday.

Another snap.

And then, just as you were prepared to run for your life, a husky raccoon came bounding out of the thick hedge with a mouthful of hard corn. Your scream caught in your throat as you jumped back from the wild animal but, before you could think of bounding away, your back connected into someone’s chest.

With a high-pitched yelp, you turned only to be met with Billy’s wide brown eyes watching your every move. “Hey,” he cooed, reaching across to steady you. “You okay?”

That familiar cologne of his hit you like a tonne of bricks and for just a second, you allowed yourself to get lost in it. You knew that smell well. You couldn’t count how many times you’d woken up to that smell all over your pillows and sheets, wafting all over your bedroom like a slow mist that never quite subsided. Swallowing hard, you blinked out of your reverie and took an instinctual step back. “I’m fine,” you breathed out, “a racoon just scared me, is all.”

He glanced over your shoulder briefly before those brown pools soaked you in yet again. “You sure you’re okay?” He asked, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “You’ve barely said a word to me all week.”

You offered him a polite smile. “I’m fine, Billy. Just been a busy week. With swimming practice and—”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” he muttered, voice strained. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

“Billy,” you sighed, pinching your brow, “I’m not doing this here. We can’t.”

His brows pulled together and a pained look crossed over his handsome features. “I meant what I said,” he rasped out. “You’re my girl, Y/N.”

“No, see that’s bullshit, Billy,” you bit back, “Sid is your girl. I’m just an easy lay. That’s all I’ve been for the last six months and I can’t do it anymore. I won’t.”

“You can’t believe that,” he stepped towards you and visibly flinched when you stepped back. “Sure, Sid’s a good girl but it’s compli—”

“Complicated,” you choked, “yeah, you’ve mentioned that a few hundred times in the last six months, Billy. And you’re right. It is complicated because me and you are making it complicated. For god’s sake, she’s one of my best friends, Billy. I’m fucking one of my best friends’ boyfriends. Do you get how fucked up that is?”

“Me and Sid are complicated,” he reiterated, ignoring your little tirade entirely. “But me and you, sweetheart, we work. We’ve always worked. You’re it for me. You’re my final girl.”

You shook your head and grabbed his wrist, yanking him closer to you to avoid having one of your friends creep up on the two of you and hear him rambling on. “Jesus, scream it a little louder, moron,” you growled, pulling him into the corner of the maze where the racoon had just jumped out of. “What is wrong with you? Do you want one of them to hear you?”

“I don’t care,” he admitted, “I miss you. I miss feeling you squirm against me when we watch a scary movie. I miss smelling you all over me the next morning. My fucking pillow smells like your shampoo and the fact that you haven’t so much as said a word to me this week is killing me, Y/N.”  

Looking over his shoulder to ensure none of your friends were coming, you nearly hissed as you pulled him further into the thick wall of corn stocks. The tall stacks towered over the two of you and shielded you away from any prying eyes.

“One week, Billy. It’s been one week and it’s hurting you? Try being in love with someone for three fucking years and watching them fall in love with someone else. And then, when he can’t get his whistle wet with his girlfriend, he ends up in your bed.” You ground your teeth together in an effort to control the burst of emotion pounding in your chest. “That is the shit that hurts, Billy. I wasn’t good enough to be your girlfriend, but I was easy enough for you to sleep with and I was so enamoured with you that I was willing to overlook the fact I’m hurting Sid each and every time we do it. I won’t do it anymore.”

The moon managed to seep in through a barren patch of the maze wall and struck Billy in such a way that you lost your breath. Those brown eyes you’d fallen in love with all those years back were glued to your face. He’d always had this air of intensity about him but, right now, looking at the long shadows cast against his face from the illumination of the moon, that intensity had all but dissipated. You’d never seen Billy look more beautiful in your life.

The silence that followed your words was thick and tense, but those damn eyes never left your face. Not even for a second. Slowly, Billy leaned in and, in the softest voice you’d ever heard him speak, he managed to break your heart all over again. “You love me?”

“Oh, shut-up,” you snarled, “like you didn’t know.”

“How the fuck would I have known that?” he whispered, taking a step closer to you. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you?” You snapped. “Billy, you have a girlfriend. I’m already fucking you, what am I going to do? Confess all of this in between sucking your dick and packing up before Sidney catches wind of us?”

“Don’t cheapen it,” he cautioned, “not when it comes to us.”

“There is no ‘us’, Billy!” You reminded him. “There is a you and there is a Sidney. Then there is me.”

“Fuck Sidney,” he snarled through gritted teeth. “And don’t act like it’s only been sex between us.”

You snorted. “Maybe the odd movie, sure.”

Anger flickered across his face as he took another step closer, backing you into a particularly sturdy corn stock. This was a side of Billy you rarely saw, this unhinged almost animalistic side that came out when his emotions got too overwhelming. You’d seen this look only once before. It was few weeks into your sneaky little affair when Billy had snuck in through your bedroom window with red, bloodshot eyes and bleeding knuckles. It was the night his mother had left, and he’d just had lost a one-sided fight with the brick wall of his house.

“You were there for me when nobody else was,” he leaned his forehead against yours and you watched the muscle in his cheek clench several times over as he chewed on his words. “When my mother left, you were the one that was there for me. Not Sidney, not my father – you.” You felt his hands trail up your jean-clad hips before guiding your hips towards the thick corn stock behind you. You should have pushed him away, stuck to your guns, and ran off to find the rest of your friends. But, you couldn’t. Not with Billy looking at you the way he was.

“Billy,” you tried, but there was no conviction behind it. “I meant what I said.”

“Which part?” He asked. “When you said you loved me or when you said you couldn’t do this anymore.”  

“Both,” you told him. “Sidney’s a good friend and—”

A growl escaped his throat as he shut his eyes, but he never stepped away. With his forehead still leaning against yours, it was as though he was afraid to break contact in fear of losing you all over again. “Can we not talk about Sid for one goddamn second?” He took a few even breaths before those brown eyes opened back up, capturing your gaze instantly. “I love you.”

“Don’t,” you warned him. This time it was your turn to shut your eyes as the pain of hearing those three little words sliced you from stem to stern. “That’s not fair, Billy.”

“What? You don’t believe me?” You felt his hands slither up the side of your waist and up the length of your body until they cradled your face. “Look at me.”

“No,” you griped, “to both of your questions. Don’t say shit you don’t mean, not when it comes to that. It’s cruel.”

His calloused thumb danced across the apple of your cheek. “Look at me,” he demanded, barely above a whisper. “Sweetheart, look at me.” Frowning, you opened your eyes but remained silent. Bumping your nose with his, Billy pushed your hair back and away from your face and shook his head. “I fucking love you.”

“You’re with Sidney,” you reminded him, sounding like a broken record. “If you loved me, we wouldn’t be hiding in the middle of a goddamn corn maze while our friends blindly stumble around looking for the exit.”

“Stu knows,” he admitted. “And when it’s a good time, so will everyone else.”

“Colour me shocked,” you rolled your eyes. “Stu knows everything.”

“You think I don’t want to parade you all over town?” Billy questioned. “I get so heated when I see Randy or any of those goons on the football team flirt with you. I want you every second of the day.”

You swallowed hard. “Then please, Billy, just be honest with me. Tell me why things are so fucking complicated with Sid? I get break-ups are hard but cheating on her isn’t the answer.”

Billy was truly torn as he took in the desperation in your eyes. Things with Sid were complicated but not in the way you thought they were. There were no feelings involved with Sid, at least not the romantic kind, but there was no chance in hell he was divulging his plans with Sidney. Not with you. He couldn’t stomach the idea of losing you knowing full-well you’d try and sway him on it. Or worse. What if you went to the police about it? What if you tried to stop him? No. He wasn’t getting you involved. You were the one person in his life who hadn’t let him down and he was hell-bent on doing the same for you.

The less you knew, the better.

“Just give me some time, alright?” He pleaded, grabbing your hands to ghost his lips across your knuckles. “She’s still dealing with the loss of her mother. I can’t spring a break-up on her, too. Not yet. But soon,” he kissed your hand, “I promise.”

“I don’t want to hurt her any more than we already have, Billy,” you told him, “we could end this here and now and then when you do break-up, we can continue whatever the hell this is. But we shouldn’t d—”

Before you could say another word, he leaned forward and captured your lips in a bruising kiss. Everything about this man was electric and despite everything –  the guilt, the secrets, all of it – the way his lips seemed to mould against yours so perfectly, stopped you dead in your tracks. Placing sloppy kisses down from your mouth and along your jaw, Billy nipped at your ear. “I really do fucking love you.”

You leaned into the kiss and tangled your fingers through his hair, tugging at the ends. A low growl rumbled in his throat as he continued his assault down your jaw towards your neck where he nipped and sucked at the sensitive flesh. “You give me a fucking hickey and you’re dead,” you chastised breathlessly. When he responded with a gentle bite, you gave his hair another gentle tug. “I mean it, Loomis.”

Pulling back from your neck, you were met with one of Billy’s rare but genuine grins. He was all teeth as he leaned his forehead against yours again, scraping his thumbnail gently across your cheek as he fought to catch his breath. “You’re perfect, you know that?”

“Your girlfriend would beg to differ, but I appreciate the sentiment.” Groaning quietly at the mess you and Billy had created for yourselves, you reached up and pushed a strand of his brown hair back and away from his face. “We should go,” you told him. “Before anyone besides Stu finds us.”

Giving you one final peck, he nodded in agreement and pushed a few stocks aside for you to escape from. Before you stepped out of the covering, however, Billy reached for your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I promise, Y/N, everything is going to work out for us.”

Giving him a small, resigned smile, you leaned in and gave him a quick, chaste kiss. “I’ll leave my bedroom window open tonight,” you told him. “Do what you will with that information.”

Billy watched you disappear back into the maze with a shit-eating grin on his face. God, he was in deep with you. Too deep, perhaps, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Not yet, at least. For now, he had you back and he had no intention of letting you go again.

part two HERE

[staczak91]

A list of some of my favorite musicians and why

I’m bored right now, so listing, in no particular order, some of my favorite musicians over the years and have stuck with me for my life so far. 

Music has always been an integral part of my life and I love it so so much. Just hearing the perfect song or finding that album that speaks to you is amazing.

So, yeah, here are some musicians that I love love LOVE! No surprises in here for people that know me.

The Beatles

I grew up with this band! My mom adored them and now I adore them. I’m more partial to early Beatles, but they made great music all across their years as a band. Favorite Beatle? I don’t think I can choose. They’re all perfect in their own way. The first rock band. The first boy band. The first musical obsession of my life. Thank you, Beatles, for everything you have given me. 

Kurt Cobain (Nirvana)

I fell in love with Kurt and Nirvana in college after my mom’s death and never fell out of love with him or the band. They’re my go to band when I’m feeling sad or angry emotions and need to just let it out. I found Kurt’s story amazing and believe he is a songwriting genius. Unplugged will always remain my favorite Nirvana album and live performance. 

Jack White

Jack White is one strange man! But I believe that is why I really love him and his music. He makes great straight-up rock music and I love him in whatever form he chooses to express himself: White Stripes, solo, Raconteurs, all of it is fantastic. I fell in love with his music in college after my sister introduced me to his music and, again, never fell out of love. His guitar-playing skills are legendary and he has a great voice to boot!

Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse was another college mainstay that I’m still in love with all these years later. I listened to both her albums numerous times and watched the film Amy, which was so sad and enlightening. I wish we all could have seen her growth as an artist and see her become even more of a legendary performer. Her jazz-infused pop was a breath of fresh air and she’ll always remain a favorite of mine. 

Taylor Swift

I had to include Taylor on this list! Been a fan of hers since Fearless but didn’t become a bigger fan until 1989, when I was hooked and never looked back. She doesn’t have a bad album to her name, and seeing reputation live was simply the icing on the cake. Her music and lyricism is perfect and on point and I’m so happy I became a fan of this legendary artist. She’s one of my all-time favorites and I will always love her and her music. Cannot wait to see what she does next.

Jeff Buckley

I found Jeff Buckley’s music a year after I graduated from college totally by accident and so happy I stumbled on his work. Grace is one of the most perfect albums I’ve ever heard and I wish we could have seen his growth as an artist. I’m sad we will never see more from this songwriting genius who was so empathetic and so real. One of my all-time favorites who has stuck with me for life. I simply adore Jeff Buckley.

David Bowie

My mom also adored Bowie and passed that adoration down to me. I remember his death hit real bad when it happened and the whole world was in mourning. And for good reason too. He was just a musician who was so full of life and was so so talented. He deserved everything he got in life. I’m still rocking out to his songs now and will never grow tired of this man’s legacy. Thanks, Bowie, for the good times.

Elvis Presley

I fell in love with Elvis in eighth grade and never looked back! Once I found out I shared a birthday with him, that’s it: I was hooked. And I’m still in love with his persona and music now. The ultimate rock star. He just shed cool. And was a marvel of an entertainer, from musician to rock star to movie star, he did it all. And he was able to move deftly between so many genres too. Really, I love Elvis, and I’m not ashamed. 

Harry Styles

Harry is a new love of mine, but I had to include him. I must admit I’ve never been a One Direction fan and even after discovering Harry and listening to them, I don’t think I’ll ever be one. (Sorry, guys.) But Harry’s solo music is a breath of fresh air in this kind of boring music industry now. He’s controversial and fun and his music is phenomenal. Fine Line is one of the best albums I’ve heard in years, and I’ll be singing “Lights Up” and “Adore You” until the day I die. Although Harry is a new love of mine, I believe I’m gonna love him and his music for years to come. Cannot wait to see him live and see what new great music he has in store for us. Really, I’m unabashedly in love with the guy and I have no regrets. 

Honorable Mentions:

For those who I outgrew or haven’t made my all time favorites list. 

Billie Joe Armstrong (Green Day)

Including him as an honorable mention. I used to be in love with Billie years ago as a kid and a young adult, but I kind of outgrew his music. Sorry not sorry, I have so many great memories with him and the band, but I just can’t really listen to them anymore. I guess I grew out of them. Still, though, it was fun while it lasted. I just feel like Green Day aren’t really trying anymore as a band and because of that I’ve lost interest in them. Again, sorry not sorry. 

Beyoncé

Okay let me get one thing straight: I love Beyoncé, her image and her music. But she isn’t in my all time favorites, even with these loves. I think she’s great and extremely talented but I have to be in the right mood to listen to her. Which is why I’m adding her to the honorable mentions. Don’t get me wrong. I love so many of her songs and albums. But...well, I just really have to be in the mood for her music. Still, though, she reigns.

Led Zeppelin

Same thing with Zep. My dad adores this band and it’s one of his favorites. But I can’t force it. I have to be in the mood for them. They’re fantastic, I won’t argue against that. But they’re also heavier than what I usually listen to. Still, when I want to bond with my dad, we usually listen to Zep together. 

Bob Dylan

Dylan is a goddamn poet and I love him! But again I just have to be in the mood for him, which doesn’t happen very often right now. Still, though, I won’t argue against his greatness. He truly makes masterpieces. At least his first few albums and in his younger days. 

Adele

Adele has a powerhouse voice and is technically a favorite of mine. But I find sometimes her music is missing something vital, which is why I put her in the honorable mentions category. Again, I realize how talented she is and am not saying otherwise. But, yeah, I’m usually in the mood for her but at the same time, find some of her music lacking. I’m sorry, Adele. I still love your brand. 

Well, there you have it. I’ve listened to loads of music growing up and I’ll continue to do so and find new music to love. But these are some of my all time favorite musicians and some honorable mentions. Hope you enjoyed the lsit! I know I enjoyed writing it! <3

[supekitchen]

Replying from my Boys specific blog here, thank you for responding! I get the way you feel that way about Becca and Billy's relationship. It just doesn't feel like her character gets called out enough for what she did to the man she supposedly loved so dear, and her trying to justify it in some fucking martyr like speaking. As if Billy can't be trusted to do what he wants with his life. He had a right to know!

I feel like you said where she just wasn't the kind of girl who could or wanted to deal with Billy's myriad of issues. When the going got tough, she got going and left Billy in the lurch to hate himself over it. Becca always seemed to strike me as the type of dog owner to buy a breed like a wolfdog or a tibetan mastiff and expect it to act like a labrador retriever. Why not just end the relationship or, you know, TALK to your husband about how his behavior problems are concerning her and try to work through it together like a team? Or a partnership? Instead of throwing it into his face a decade later after he questions your ludicrous decision making? And maybe it's a very uncharitable way of reading it, but I think her ease in choosing a child she conceived out of SA over her loving but troubled husband had in no small part to do with said husband's not very buried daddy issues and childhood trauma and his not being too hot on the idea of having any of his own. Or at the very least, very touchy and sensitive about it. And instead of ever addressing this with him, chose to run away rather than confront these uncomfortable questions that may involve a break up. But that's what I get out of it.

Not to mention why she chose to fake her her death, sell herself and more importantly Ryan to the same company that caused all of this in the first place and have clear intentions on making another (more "controllable") Homelander out of Ryan, and create all of this suffering to her loved ones when could and should have just gone into witness protection I'll never know. She put Butcher, her family, and even Ryan through so much grief and pain and trauma for no reason all because she couldn't be honest with what happened to her and give the ones she loved the respect, agency and trust to handle that information. Same goes for the sheltering that ultimately damaged Ryan and his ability to be able to function as a person. Another reason why her and Vought's whole hideaway plan was doomed to failure. She should have come clean, gave him an ultimatum of either going into WP with her or ending it there, let him make his choice, and then go into protection. That would have prevented the entire 2nd season and her own death had she just used her head!

Billy deserved better and I'm still mad that they never had him start coming to terms with how Becca screwed him over and allow him to be justifiably angry at her. She clearly never trusted or respected him enough to be there for her when it mattered, even when he was willing to move heaven and earth for her. And she never did the same for him. Every time I try and analyze Becca and her choices, it all comes across to me that she was very weak willed and afraid of confrontation and I personally can't stand emotional cowardice. Which makes it hard to stomach whenever she and the topic of her and Billy's relationship is brought up in a positive light in either the show or in fanfiction.

To summarize, I think Becca was a very cowardly character and the story would have been better had they highlighted this and shown this for the flaw it is rather trying to make her like this amazing saintly woman and that Butcher's the one in the wrong for wanting revenge and justice for what had happened to her.

Sorry for the very long (and ranty) response, but I have a lot of thoughts on Becca Butcher and how the story deals with her and Butcher's relationship. I'm glad that you're trying to take what went wrong with Billy's previous relationship and show how it should have been with Addison and I'm interested to see how it goes in your story. I had stopped reading before cause I was disappointed by how fast it jumped from the characters being on tentative good terms to warm friends with the start of the series plot.

Can you talk about your thoughts on Billy and Becca's relationship? From what I've read from your comments and notes, you're not a big fan of them together and it's rare to find others besides myself in the Boys fandom willing to be critical of this ship and especially Becca herself in regards to how it turned out.

Yeah I can certainly try! I don’t speak on it a lot I don’t think because I’m not about to argue with someone I don’t even know and I’m not going to put down someone’s ship. I wouldn’t say I’m not a fan of them together, I love how Billy loved her and he did - I would say I’m not a fan of the way people put her or their relationship on a pedestal just like she said not to and they were clearly toxic for each other.

My feelings have a lot of different aspects - one I think she’s just badly written, I mean she’s totally fridged and there’s no basis in my opinion for her to be amazingly perfect? (Not that any woman has to!) So I don’t get why people think that. Two - my feelings while I’m watching emotionally are kind of different from my more academic opinions and are also different from Addison’s feelings on it - which in my head I’ve really gotten into so I can write my story authentically.

I will say additionally I have a degree in psychology and I’ve been in a happy successful relationship for 27 years (so far) from 16-43 so I know a little bit about what it takes. The things we have been through together and come out still completely committed and fully loving each other…

Emotionally, she annoys me and that’s just me. They’re trying to make her look like some amazing mother but the first chance she gets she’s spouting how she just ‘acts’ like ‘Carol fucking Brady’ like what? How is that in any way being a good mom. And I hugely disagree with her over sheltering. And she just wishes she was doing nothing on the couch smoking weed and eating Cheetos like huh? That’s the first thing she wants to say to Billy after 10 years? The way she acts about it rings so weird to me. Now BELIEVE ME I absolutely do those things too and enjoy it when my child is good for the night but I would never say it like that or think like that nor would that ever be my first conversation with my husband after hiding from him for a decade.

Billy was shown often (except for one weird one off line) to be there for her and love her but her whole attitude and the ease with which she left him leads me feel she was in it for a good time and not much else. The conversation about the spice girls concert is ridiculous. I can’t even fathom making my husband do something like that that he’s not into. We absolutely both have things we like to do together and then we have our own things too. Why would she force him to go to something he hates like that? Especially when she has her sister to enjoy it with. I don’t get it at all and it’s not how a relationship works.

In the fourth season the Becca hallucination tells Butcher that he shouldn’t betray Hughie even to save Ryan, there would be another way. And that’s what should’ve happened after she was r*ped. She left Billy because he would’ve gone on a rampage if she told him?? She thinks he wouldn’t if she disappeared? (He did.) How does that make sense. There’s always another way. Just like she says. I cannot even for a second imagine doing what she did to my husband. And yes I understand Billy has major problems but he was never shown to be beyond love and support. I don’t think she supported him as a partner at all. She was there because he was hot, sexy, he worshipped her and he took care of her. How did she take care of him, ever? I have a lot of Billy in me on the inside and I’ve said some very choice things in private messages but I won’t say them here haha <3

Now Addison is a better person than me, though of course she doesn’t know any of those examples, but she loves Billy unconditionally even though it’s going to be really really hard but her view of Becca is through Billy’s eyes so she really respects and protects that vision for Billy in a way and I kind of like exploring that too :) Latest chapter out here 🖤

hope that kind of makes sense, and thank you for your ask. just my thoughts and all ships should be happily whatever the shipper wants them to be because a ship can be anything

[callmeweeeh]

I don't know if this has already been said/ discussed within the community but it's so cool to me how the powers are a reflection of their wielders (Spoilers for both Dishonored Games and their DLCs as much as the novels ahead!). Corvo can use Blink, Bend Time, Dark Vision, Possession and Devouring Swarm. Blink as the ability to teleport could symbolise his regret on not being fast enough to stop the Whalers and in the end save Jessamine. You could say the same for Bend Time. He wishes to control and go back in time to make things right. Dark Vision plays into his profession as someone lurking in and melting with the dark, an assassin. Possession plays more into his role as a diplomat for the Empire and spy. He has to get into the other person's mind or rather understand them in order to know how to convince them and to foresee their next move. Devouring swarm is a reflection of the hatred Corvo must have felt right after the coup. He had only been away from Jessamine, and therefore didn't know about the treason that was being prepared in the Empire, because of the Rat Plague. So when his lover is dead, his daugther's fate is unknown to him and his position as the Royal Spymaster has been taken away, he doesn't really have anything left to lose. Why not let the world go down and let everyone else die because of the Rat Plague too? Daud can also use Blink and Bend Time. Dark Vision gets replaced with Void Gaze in his case but is basically the same and Summon Assasin/ Arcane Bond are unique to Daud. Well much like with Corvo, Daud also regret his past actions and would like to go back in time to change them (slight spoiler for the novels/ post DOTO: note that time travel is a recurring theme throughout the whole series). Void Gaze is also an allude to him being an assassin. However for his powers connected to the Whalers, why does he have them? Sure, it's a cool thing to summon others to your aid, but he could've also gotten doppelgängers like Emily did to do the trick. It's because Daud has a deep connection to the Whalers. For him they are the people closest to a family. "If we go down, then we go down together" translates to, if I get supernatural abilities that grant me advantages, you'll get them to. Not because I willingly chose to get Arcane Bond from the Outsider, but because you mean so much to me and we share everything. "I love you bitch. I'm never gonna stop loving you, bitch".

Emily's unique powers in the second game are Far Reach, Doppelgänger, Domino, Mesmerize and Shadow Walk. She got Far Reach because she always wanted to escape Dunwall Tower and explore the City. By having her grip over the entire city, by knowing it, she wanted to truly be able to rule Dunwall rather than just own it. I think at some point in the game she even said herself, that she did know very little about the actual people and fates she ruled over. Doppelgänger is an allusion to her double life as an Empress at day and an Dora the explorer at night, who wished not to rule. Domino could symbolise the fates that are connected and influence she has on them with her decisions as the Empress. Mesmerize serves as a look into the Void I guess. On my last playthrough I've heard some npcs talk about their past and things they regret while being mesmerized. Maybe it also served as a way for them to reflect on their lives, just as much as the coup helped Emily reflect on hers. Shadow Walk shows my point the clearest. This ability tells us what Emily could become and maybe even wishes to be sometimes. She wants her Throne and Father back, no matter the cost. Yeah, sure, she talks about being a better ruler etc. but ultimately she wants her life in a comfy home and her family back. I guess the coup even triggered her feelings from her mother's assassination, as shown by the drawing she made as a child when you leave Dunwall Tower from the secret chamber. She's so scared of losing a parent yet again, that she'd even turn into a monster to prevent it. She's fully aware of the opportunities her powers grant her, of the havoc she could wreak and the possibility to just cut her way through whoever's standing between her and her father. In canon she's careful not to become that monster but having acess to that power implies, that Emily sometimes thinks about choosing the easy way to just kill everybody. Billie's abilities all have to do with switching places rather than bending time. This could refer to her questioning her identity and who she could have become if only she had made other choices. As much as she loves Daud and thinks about following his instructions blindly again throughout DOTO, she's curious about the positions she could be in if she had chosen another life. She had been in hiding under a different identity after the first and during most of the second game after all. Displace shows the possible points where Billie could go. Of course it isn't implied that this alludes to her life overall within the game, I mean the way you can use this power is of course limited within this medium. Semblance literally lets her take on a different identity for a while and even plays an important role during the auction for example. So to end this really long post, I don't know if I'm totally mislead by my interpretation of the character's powers, but I assume there's a reason why they got the powers they got. I think they are a reflection of both the point they're at in life and the humans they desire or fear to become. I'll tag some people here who might be interested in this theory but please don't feel pressured to react. @incorrect-dishonored-quotes @grandinventor @kirin-jindosh @corruptedbonecharm @tsainami

If you took the time to read this, thank you so much.

[humans4vampires]

I caught some of your meta on your posts and I peeped around and saw a little Hardin Scott commentary. I saw you unpack this a bit in a chat but I want to hear more so I’ll ask again: If we sub out Jacob for Hardin, who would Bella pick? Edward or Hardin?

Wow, okay. Let's unpack!

I'd say it really depends on the situation; whether or not we're merging plot lines from both series or if we're just hard-swapping Hardin for Jacob in the Twilight Saga. I have so much to say about the two universes colliding, which I would dare say would have a different outcome and a much more compelling storyline, but since you asked this question specifically, I'll just cover what I think would happen if we swapped Jacob Black for Hardin Scott, cold-turkey, without any other peripheral character changes or introductions.

Edward Cullen versus Hardin Black (neé Scott)

Hardin Black is angsty, a little aggressive, and very popular amongst his friends and peers. He's charming, enough so that he's charmed the pants off of most of the girls his age, so he's quite sexually experienced by the time he meets his childhood friend, Bella Swan when she returns to Forks to live with her father.

Charlie Swan knows Hardin well enough to know he doesn't want him hanging around his teenage daughter, but his dear friend, Billy Black hopes that Bella might be a good influence on his gruff son. Charlie keeps a close watch on them when they're together, though he quickly assures himself that Hardin won't be pulling any tricks on his daughter.

Bella and Hardin were a volatile pair together, and both had no issue telling the other what they thought of them. Hardin found Bella to be a boring, plain-Jane, goody-goody, which only was made more apparent in her choice of a boyfriend; the incredibly tame and aggravatingly perfect, Edward Cullen. Over a fish-fry dinner with Billy and Hardin, Bella made a passing comment about Edward to Charlie, to which Hardin's response was, "Even worse than the Newton kid."

Bella saw Hardin as a fuck-boy, to be entirely honest. To her, he was rude and crass, spent too much of his time looking for destructive things to do. And once Edward came into the picture, she saw all of Hardin's flaws in direct comparison to her perfect gentleman in Edward.

Things changed, though, when Edward left Bella in the time during New Moon. Bella spent months essentially catatonic before discovering her new-found passion for adrenaline charging adventurism. Who better to create chaos with than Hardin?

Now, here's where some things take a turn. Hardin isn't interested in wholesome 'fun' like our sweetie pie, Jacob Black. Hardin drinks and parties and stirs up trouble. Bella falls in with Hardin, but does a good job of leveling him out a bit. They bond over their shared love of classic literature and spend their days recovering from their wild teenage nights by reading passages to each other on an old quilt on the beach in La Push.

Eventually, the two build a strong and trusting relationship, full of witty teasing and more balanced joy. They spend less and less of their time with friends at parties and more and more time alone. Bella proves to be a good equalizer for Hardin and Hardin a good measure of happiness for Bella. The two do end up having sex and continue to have a sexual relationship leading up to the time Hardin transforms into a werewolf.

Both Bella and Hardin manage to help each other with a lot of their varying emotional baggage, and in many ways, they are able to supplement each other well. Hardin's fear of abandonment is well cared for in Bella's over-attentiveness and need to be the "parent," while this quality in Bella is better balanced by Hardin's more carefree and narcissistic tendencies. In this, I mean to say that Hardin encourages Bella to let loose and think of herself first - which becomes even more liberating for Bella when the two begin their sexual relationship.

I'll pause here to unpack this more: I'm not just putting in this saucy tad-bit for your reading pleasure. You cannot have Hardin as a character without the sexual chemistry with the female protagonist. At his core, he's still an adaptation of Christian Grey and Harry Styles. This is not a comment on Harry Styles' sexual prowess, just to be clear - but Christian Grey is sex personified, and thus, is Hardin Scott (or Black, in this case). Which is so interesting to think about, considering Christian Grey is just an adaptation of Edward Cullen, thus, Hardin has enough at his core to be a strong contender for Bella. And, Bella Swan, at her core, is very in-tune with her sexuality. Stephenie Meyer may not be overly colorful with Bella's lustfulness, but it's obvious and apparent throughout the series. Bella and Hardin would have sex eventually and this would complicated things for the both of them, especially when Edward returns.

Now, as the whole werewolf thing unfolds and Bella is forced, by Hardin, to separate from him, the gravity of their relationship and their sexual encounters pushes Bella to another breaking point. She feels rejected and isolated with Hardin distancing himself and the feeling that she loses Edward the more she let's Hardin in hits her harder in Hardin's absence. Not to mention, her relationship with Hardin isn't exactly as easy-breezy beautiful, Cover Girl, like her relationship with the subbed-out Jacob was. Jacob, remember, is very go-with-the-flow, sunshine with a candy-coating sweet - and Hardin is very much not. All of those character flaws that make Hardin who he is are still there. Their relationship is tumultuous, which makes Bella question herself and exacerbates her insecurities.

There's not much time between the two reuniting after the werewolf is out of the bag -Get it? like the 'cat out of the bag?'- and when Bella leaves for Italy to save Edward. This moment triggers Hardin's abandonment issues big time and this is the moment Bella spends the next three books trying to overcome with Hardin. She does come back with Edward and she does continue her relationship as she did in Eclipse and Breaking Dawn, but with the added layer of sexual history and intense chemistry with Hardin throughout the rest of the saga, Bella struggles much more with her feelings for both men. Sex complicates things in a big way and definitely proved her feelings for Hardin very early on in the saga.

This also adds so much more complexity to her relationship with Edward, who very much knows what happened while he was away and very much blames himself for how Bella and Hardin's relationship developed - as he did with Bella and Jacob.

Ultimately, do I think that Bella would choose Hardin over Edward in the end? No. But Hardin does present a compelling swap that I'd say could keep you truly wondering if she was going to change her mind at any point.

I would like to assert here that Renesmee should never have happened like that and I will not even discuss the repercussions.

In the end, Bella would choose Edward for all the things that Hardin is not and cannot be; a perfect God-like creature that shifted her entire perspective of what life was and what life could be. Hardin, or Jacob, could never compete with that.

But the saga would have been so much more dynamic with the tension and the complexity that sex brings to a love story. Imagine Bella tossing and turning at night, Edward agonizing over hearing Hardin's name on her lips. Imagine Edward being tormented by Hardin's mental replays of his nights with Bella every time he looks at her. Imagine how much more conflicted Edward would be about his sexual relationship with Bella! The added complexity of his feelings of her being with Hardin and being nervous!! Oh, I can't even go into that right now...

It would make so much more sense for him to want to commit to her in marriage too! He'd want to solidify their love in a new and different way than she had with Hardin. And it would probably be the reason Bella would agree to it.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

[randomnameless]

Ah, the Great Aegir controvery!

Can someone remind me, did Edelgard not arrest Aegir or not kill him? Or did he run away. Aegir kinda twisted. Insisting Ferdinand kills him. That's fucked up

Yep, unlike Vestra SR, Aegir wasn't killed off-screen, but apparently jailed (in better conditions than Rhea?) and now, to prove his loyalty, Ferdie is asked to kill him.

Yay for parricide!

Hunh, I'm impressed. Not going to lie, but Balthus wasn't making a great impression on me, but he's worried that a man he owes a debt too will fall in battle while fighting alongside the enemy. He actually wants to pay the man back and not this get out of jail free card.

Imagine him being worried about turning his fists at the Central Church and killing the people who sheltered him when he had nowhere to go

That's nice tidbit from Balthus, bar plot induced stupidity, he is actually someone who is supposed to have some sense of right and wrong and morals.

So she's actively choosing to participate in and benefit from the system that gatekeeps poor people from enjoying things. I don't hate the player, but it will be cool to see if she has some level of self-awareness about this.

Self-awareness? In a BE route for a BE character???

I personally don't really like her, but the character she was written as could have been really interesting, if the writing was stronger and had her tackle, or at least bring up the issues she's denouncing to the people in charge who could/can do something about them.

Does that mean Hubert senses Sothis?

Yep, he does in his supports with Billy!

When I look at you, I feel I can almost see a second self lurking beneath the surface. It is as if you are in constant dialogue with something inside your heart—something with desires very different from your own.

and in their A support he pretty much knows :

Nice place, isn't it, Professor? Standing here, you can almost feel the goddess's absence. Discounting what dwells within you, of course.

Caspar volunteers to let Petra dump her negative emotions about this on Caspar. Petra's not sure she wants a friendship like that, but says she'll give it though

This made me have flashback about a certain manga lol

Petra struggles with revenge, and ultimately says she'll "give a thought" about pummeling Caspar for what his father did to her. Yay for the entire "children shouldn't pay for their parent's sins", thing, right?

Oh, and Hubert's description in Houses suggests his dad had other children, so him having a sister isn't so far-fetched!

I know some people take issue with this side to Dorothea, but this is what makes me love her. She's the only one who realizes the brutality her side is forcing on other people, she just believes in the cause enough to keep doing it. That conflict makes her so interesting, and if Edelgad had a more justified cause or well-written government plan, Dorothea may have been in competition for my fav, but man does Edelgard's flimsy reasoning for war and bare-bones ideas make this conflict flat-line a bit

Yep, the writing refuses to make Supreme Leader look bad, so her reasoning for war - when it's not the secret lizard cabal ruling over the world that needs to be destroyed for humans to thrive - is kind of bonkers, and given how convoluted it is, a character who laments at the means but believes the end is worth it feels sort of empty (at best).

What is the cause she believes in? MAGA? Get rid of nobility and status? Get rid of the evil lizard cabal?

Does she really believe Supreme Leader, who still doesn't have plans about what to do "next", will make Adrestia a better place?

Shockingly, the title goes to his son. So much for merit-based promotions, lamo.

:(

At least by icing his own father, Ferdie showed loyal he was to Supreme Leader, so that's a form of merit she rewards?

Caspar's like, fighting traitors serving a death cults sucks because they're from the Empire. Let's go kill the innocent people in the Kingdom instead! Because that's fun!

Yay!

This game likes people killing their families. And I bet Aegir's death will get more sympathy than the actually innocent people Edelgard and co mow down every chapter.

FWIW, I felt kind of bad when Ludwig basically wondered why the fuck Leopold and Waldemar, who also participated in the insurrection against Ionius, were granted a pardon and could side with Supreme Leader to MAGA*, when he apparently wanted the same thing but was insta-jailed based on non-existing evidence (something Ferdie notes in their support) and is beheaded by his own son.

Of course we have Supreme Leader's entire spiel about Ludwig being the one who led the experimentations on her, but Hubert says in FE16 that Arundel-Thales led the experimentation that killed her family...

So here, we have, once again, Ludwig being killed for something he didn't do (like in the ferdie paralogue in FE16) but was framed for by, most likely, Arundel himself...

Sure, he's an ass and given how no one gives a fuck about the Faerghans randoms being slaughtered or the church or even worse, the nabateans, giving spotlight to Aegir feels ridiculous - and yet he dies a pathetic death, killed by his son being denied the "second chance" card that was handed to his co-conspirators because of ... reasons.

*I call this a retcon, because the Insurrection was an answer to Ionius centralising power on himself, that's why the nobles defanged him. But in Nopes, we're apparently supposed to believe they were waiting for a "strong emperor" who would MAGA? Why did they rekt Ionius then?

Scarlet Blaze Ch 13

Someone should've renamed this "backtracking, the plot."

MAIN STORY

I'm actually excited for this chapter because Ferdinand is the most interesting part of it.

Ok, so TWSITD didn't want to avoid unification (which I'm sure they either want or don't care about), but only caused the ruckus to try and take the Empire over.

She's . . . pink. Why is she pink? (some random Empire general)

Is it wrong to see Ferdinand's looks in the future when I see Aegir? Seems like baldness runs in the family. As long as he avoids that mustache . . .

Can someone remind me, did Edelgard not arrest Aegir or not kill him? Or did he run away.

Aegir kinda twisted. Insisting Ferdinand kills him. That's fucked up.

Oh, kk, he escaped. (Aegir)

This is like a giant teaser of what SB could've been if it stuck to Empire and TWSITD stuff and wasn't "Edelgard backtracks: the conquest 2.0 - the boring as fuck version).

MAP/SIDE BATTLES

Can Edelgard just once have a plan for her government before invading all the other nations and getting a lot of innocent people killed (Dorothea said she's still working out what to replace nobles with)

Hunh, I'm impressed. Not going to lie, but Balthus wasn't making a great impression on me, but he's worried that a man he owes a debt too will fall in battle while fighting alongside the enemy. He actually wants to pay the man back and not this get out of jail free card. I like that.

Ashe asked Shez for help restoring Hrym territory. Ashe wants them to have their lives back. I was a dick and said no though bc I could and found that funny.

Fort Mercius has a convenient sneaky point, bc of course it does. Otherwise we'd have to siege warfare which was boring as fuck in real life.

Of course, only Dorothea cares about the hostages. Ferdinand will magically not let it happen. How? Who knows.

SHEZ & MONICA A

Ugh.

Monica keeps track of how many times Edelgard drinks tea, what she eats, when she eats, all her sighs, etc . . .

She needs a restraining order.

Edelgard did the world a favor when she let TWSITD kill Monica.

SHEZ & DOROTHEA B

Nobles gave Shez a tea party after he helped them out, and he doesn't know what to make of it and can't tell if he likes it.

Dorothea ties that to arguing that commoners should get to enjoy all of life's goods. Shez can counterpoint that they don't miss it if they don't know what they're missing.

Dorothea then talks about her love of singing and laments that only rich people get to hear her sing.

This is actually kind of interesting (if it goes there, but I doubt it). Dorothea wants the commoners to enjoy everything the rich get, yet benefits from an organization that raises the prices so high only the rich gets to enjoy her voice. Dorothea could just as easily go sing in taverns or more accessible places, but she doesn't. And because she doesn't she got wealthy and well connected. So she's actively choosing to participate in and benefit from the system that gatekeeps poor people from enjoying things. I don't hate the player, but it will be cool to see if she has some level of self-awareness about this.

SHEZ & EDELGARD A

They talk about how Shez having the same powers as TWSITD helps him identify TWSITD better than anyone else.

Edelgard credits this with her ability to get rid of them in SB (obviously contrasting to Byleth and CF)

So Edelgard had 2 choices: she could either focus on getting rid of TWSITD and sparing her citizens from their cruelty or start a war and choose the later, lamo. Like, imagine looking at your country and seeing that it's corrupted by an insane death cult running experiments on your own citizens and think "yeah, this is solid foundation to rely on for rebuilding a new world and rule over all the other countries." It's so idiotic. TWSITD really hurts Edelgard's writing and this game really exposes that. Which is funny since they likely got invented to shift blame away from her lol.

Shez says he joined Edelgard because the Empire was rich and she complimented him, unlike other nobles (but pretty sure EVERYONE complimented him because self-insert). So the game's got nothing.

SHEZ & HUBERT A

So many Shez supports back-to-back

Hubert scares/surprises Shez, then questions him about TWSITD.

Hubert's upset that they didn't reach out to Shez as an ally, and I can get mad at his mistrust. Def picking that one.

Hubert owns it at least.

He tries to complement Shez, but I'm able to not believe him, so I don't.

Hubert can sense Arval and is concerned about it. Shez doesn't trust Hubert about Arval.

Does that mean Hubert senses Sothis? Or is this a plot-hole? Or can he only sense TWSITD?

SHEZ & CONSTANCE C

Constance is talking his ear off about restoring House Nuvelle by discovering more magic. And Shez is the test subject of her research lol.

Shez refuses and Constance can't comprehend.

Shez suggests she try to establish herself in battle instead. But Constance turns that down.

I think it's because of her night-day thing. Also, I may have seen this support before? I'm not sure.

MERCEDES & LYSITHEA C

Funny, you can only get this support in SB and neither are Black Eagles.

"I'm not a child!!!" vs mothering everyone

Lysithea trained so hard she collapsed and Mercedes took care of her. Lysithea is horrified to learn that she slept too long.

Mercie backed her cookies, because of course she did. And sweets are Lysithea's secret weakness so . . .

Lysithea assumes Mercie has bad intentions. Why is she always so insufferable?

Mercie's cookies are good. Lysithea acts like a complete brat, demanding Mercie train her right now how to make the cookies.

PETRA & CASPAR A

Ok, this one should be better. I love Mercie, but that support had 0 new things in it.

Petra challenges Caspar's father to a duel. Yeah, way more intense than the first one.

And . . . the asshole won't even show up. Or, I guess Caspar stole is before his dad saw it. Petra's pissed. Rightfully so.

Caspar also assumes Petra would just lose. What an ass.

So Petra says she'll just kill Caspar instead.

She takes him down, but won't strike the killing blow.

Petra's upset she lost control of her emotions.

Petra decides to pull back because she's a queen (in secret) and she can't act on her personal feelings.

She doesn't fully understand why she challenged his father to a duel.

Caspar volunteers to let Petra dump her negative emotions about this on Caspar. Petra's not sure she wants a friendship like that, but says she'll give it thought.

I did like that support, but I wish she was allowed to call out the Empire more.

SHEZ & JERITZA A

Jeritza is hunting a cat that raided the pantry because she was injured.

Last time they talked, Shez assumed Jeritza was talking about a person, not a cat.

Jeritza likes cats because he used to have one. And now he wants to own this one. But she dislikes Jeritza.

HUBERT & BERNADETTA C

Bummed this is their only support. They were cute together in House.

Bernadetta is moving boxes of documents around. They're about bandit activity in the area. Hubert's investigating.

He's annoyed at the army's inability to catch them. Bernadetta assumes he's angry with her, but calms down.

Funniest line is Hubert telling her that her persistence often leads to exactly what she's trying to avoid lol. His VA is so good.

Hubert calls them rats. Like Dimitri did lamo.

Hubert is upset they may go back into hiding. Bernadetta sympathizes with the bandits lol.

It inspires Hubert to set something up that would make them come out.

HUBERT & LYSITHEA A

Isn't this the support chain that told us the Imperial army won't eat their veggies? lamo

Lysithea is enjoying sweets. Hubert offers her coffee. She turns it down because it's not sweet. Hubert baits her into drinking it by implying that drinking coffee means you're not a child.

She doesn't like drinking it black, but Hubert tells her that sweeten it up and she may like it.

Lysithea asks Hubert why he's nice to her since he's mean to everyone else. It's because he has a younger sister that Lysithea reminds him of.

Did he have one in Houses? Or did they just pop up when convenient like Edelgard's siblings?

Hubert doesn't tell anyone about the siblings. I wonder if Edelgard knows.

Because he sees her like a little sister, Lysithea accepts it.

MERCEDES & CASPAR C

Hope this goes like - Murder isn't funny, Caspar. It isn't? No. Because he's awful in this route.

No, he's just asking Mercedes about Jeritza because he keeps defeating Caspar in bouts.

So Caspar still being painfully one-note and boring.

Mercedes says he can beat Jeritza with baking. Caspar is confused. Until Mercedes clarifies that Jeritza sucks at baking, so Caspar can beat him at baking.

Caspar's upset bc that doesn't matter to him.

LINHARDT & CONSTANCE A

Linhardt has to ask her a question, but she's in the sunlight. He wants to experiments on crests. Constance is fine with it.

Until she's inside. Then she's upset.

Linhardt is taking advantage of her dual personality, avoiding confident Constance because she's difficult to work with.

Kinda skeevy, Linhardt.

Constance demands more equality. If she helps Linhardt with his research, then he must help with hers.

He's actually interested until he learns she wants to find ways for eyes to emit a golden light, and loses interest.

FERDINAND & LYSITHEA A

Ferdinand is worried about Lysithea's future, specifically throwing away her nobility.

He tried to understand her thought process. She's irritated with him. Honestly, same, I think that may be my issue with Ferdinand. I find him irritating.

Ferdinand uncovered Lysithea's secret. She's understandably upset and wants him to leave it be.

Ferdinand wants a solution, Lysithea's like do you think I haven't tried? And do-do bird is like "take action!" Like, this seems like things not to tell someone terminally ill 101.

Though, he brings up magical research. So this may be different.

He found the research on her and they could use that as a way to solve her problem.

She wants to help.

DOROTHEA & MONICA A

Dorothea is wounded, and Monica is worried that Dorothea will get scars to damage her skin.

Creepy moment when Dorothea asks Monica how she knows she has scars. So does this confirm that Monica peeps on people?

Dorothea hesitates to kill a child in battle.

So Dorothea cannonly killed children. I wonder how every Edel-stan who used that to smear Dimitri feels, lamo.

I wish Dimitri and Dorothea got a support. Both hate killing, but keep doing it anyways.

Monica asks why Dorothea keeps killing people. Dorothea feels too tied to her position to go back.

Dorothea admits she could've been that child in another life. So she has no right to run away and hide when the children the Empire is slaughtering don't have that option.

I know some people take issue with this side to Dorothea, but this is what makes me love her. She's the only one who realizes the brutality her side is forcing on other people, she just believes in the cause enough to keep doing it. That conflict makes her so interesting, and if Edelgad had a more justified cause or well-written government plan, Dorothea may have been in competition for my fav, but man does Edelgard's flimsy reasoning for war and bare-bones ideas make this conflict flat-line a bit.

Then they spend the rest of the support simiping for Edelgard. So, Monica's entire personality. That was interesting for like 3 seconds. So a new record for a Monica support.

PETRA & RAPHAEL B

You know it's bad when I fully expect Raphael to have deeper thoughts than Monica.

Raphael fails to hunt. Petra isn't surprised.

Raphael thinks being a bear will help him hunt rabbits, and is shocked when she tells him bears don't hunt.

Petra says Brigid people hunt with subtleness. But Fodlan people use hounds for hunting, which might suit Raphael better.

Raphael now thinks being a wolf will help him hunt instead of bear. So, yeah, deeper thoughts than Monica is capable of.

MAIN BATTLE

Time to kill the rebels.

Try to make sure hostages don't die.

Monica and Hubert have a fight over who gets to suck on Edelgard's toes after the battle (not literally, but might as well). The only non-grating part of it was Monica calling Hubert a coffin-dweller. Which, I mean, accurate.

Shez is the only one that remembers poor Ferdinand's going to kill his dad, lol. Ferdinand says he's ready though.

Oh, cut scene. Ferdinand and Hubert teaming up on Aegir. Hubert "let's" Ferdinand give the final blow.

So Ferdinand kills his bad. This game likes people killing their families. And I bet Aegir's death will get more sympathy than the actually innocent people Edelgard and co mow down every chapter.

Ferdinand needs a moment.

Edelgard is like, could you choose how to punish the traitors and choose the next Duke. Shockingly, the title goes to his son. So much for merit-based promotions, lamo.

So do we go back to beating up poor people in Faerghus now?

Caspar's like, fighting traitors serving a death cults sucks because they're from the Empire. Let's go kill the innocent people in the Kingdom instead! Because that's fun!

Edelgard still suspects Shez. The vibes for Shez are so different in Faerghus. No one gives a shit about Shez in SB.

Oh, yeah, I forgot I didn't get Byleth in this route, lamo.

Arval feels like a proud parent of Shez, lamo.

xxx

[norahastuff]

Damn that was a good episode. To me it’s felt like there’s been this great sense of dread hanging over this last stretch of episodes, and in an odd way it’s almost a relief to have it brought to the forefront like this.

I think many of us knew that following Billie’s plan was not going to work out. She’s just another cosmic being, a greater power and thus her priorities were always going to lie elsewhere. Chuck’s motivated by the desire for power and by his ego and narcissism. For Billie it’s about rules and order. They see humanity as inconsequential or perhaps in Billie’s case, an afterthought. Hence why following her plan was never going to work. The importance of humanity - the idea that each human matters and is worth something - as well as free will are the two main themes this show is built on. It will take someone who loves humanity and values free will to be able to fix this.

We’ve known that Chuck’s been orchestrating things, but I found it interesting to see how exactly he’d been doing that. This season has put a lot of focus on Dean’s anger. Dean had it drilled into him since he was a child that he was not allowed to be weak, that he had to be the strong one. This resulted in him gravitating towards other unhealthy coping mechanisms in order to survive, and when whiskey and denial weren’t enough, he used anger. He cloaked his fear, sadness and confusion under layers of rage because he didn’t know how else to confront these feelings.

Chuck knows this about Dean, but he also has a very surface level read on Dean and who he really is. Sure he can use Dean’s anger to manipulate him, but that’s not all Dean is. We’ve seen from his tearful prayer to Cas earlier this season:

“I don't know why I get so angry. I just know…I know that it’s- it's just always been there. And when things go bad, it just…it comes out. And I can't -I can't stop it. No matter how - how bad I want to, I just can't stop it.”

Underneath the anger, there’s pain and vulnerability, and when Dean allows himself to feel those things and be honest with himself that’s something Chuck doesn’t really understand, and that’s when Dean becomes unpredictable. Chuck’s relying on the versions of his characters that he created, not really getting that they go deeper than that now.

The ultimate example of this is Cas. Cas seemed to exist around the periphery this week, but honestly that’s exactly what I would have expected in an episode that was about the main characters in Chuck’s book. Cas wasn’t supposed to play a major role in any of this. Sam and Dean were. Amara was. Jack had the biggest role of all, but Cas wasn’t supposed to be in this story, and Chuck once again confirms he was never supposed to be in any of the stories.

Cas defecting was the one wild card that led to all the dominoes falling back in season 4 (ok yes I’m mixing metaphors but you get my point.) That made him an interesting toy for a while. Wind him up and watch him go. I found Chuck repeating Cas’ greatest one liner hilarious. He had such contempt in his voice and I think he was partly annoyed he could never write a line as epic as the one Cas effortlessly came up with. Actually Michael mocked that line last season too, both him and Chuck doing their best impressions of Cat’ gravelly delivery of “I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.”

I have no evidence to support this other than how irritated Chuck seemed by that line and also his famously bad writing skills. I also maintain that Chuck had no part whatsoever in crafting the magnificent “Hey assbutt!”

Cas was definitely not supposed to be in that part of the story.

But Cas no longer interests Chuck. He doesn’t fit into the story he wants to tell and so Chuck believes he has no place in it. And you know what? He’s right. Cas doesn’t fit into this story because he exists outside of it. His choices were his own. That gave him a power that no one else really had, and I think Cas has felt the weight of this for a long time. He knows what it’s like to have no free will, he lived that way for eons, and he also knows what breaking out of that feels like. His unfamiliarity with free will and how to navigate such a complicated concept led to him making choices he’s never been able to forgive himself for. It’s made him feel profound pain, guilt and confusion about his place in the world, if he even has one.

And yet as he’s told us over and over again, he wouldn’t take that back for anything.

“What would you rather have? Peace or freedom?”

We know what Cas would choose. What he continues to choose. He told Dean at the beginning of the season that he knew what was real “we are.” I don’t know if it was wise for Chuck to confirm just how right Cas actually was about that. Cas has spent this whole season thinking he had no role, no importance in the grand plan, but as he now learns, he’s had no place in any of the fights…and yet he’s never let that stop him before.

As a sidenote, I’m not saying much about this because I’m curious about whether the show will address this properly next week but I wonder how this affects Dean’s view of Cas. I don’t think Dean fully believed him earlier this season when Cas reassured him that they were real. As much as he loves and cares for Cas, Dean has always felt insecure about his place in Cas’ life and what he means to him.

So when Dean discovered that he had in fact just been a hamster in wheel being controlled by Chuck, it’s not too much of a surprise that he would start to question his relationship with the angel who literally fell from heaven and into his life. Although I know after their purgatory getaway, they were in a much better place, I think there was still a part of Dean that didn’t fully trust that the feelings were real. There has been so much mess and pain in the past with Cas, how is he to know how much of that was Chuck trying to create drama and how much of it was Cas’ own choices? Well now he knows. It all was. Every time Cas chose him over anything (or anyone) else, it was real.

This episode raised a lot of questions about Cas. Now I just have to try sit patiently and hope next week will answer some of them.

[tomhollandnet]

With upcoming roles in not just in “Cherry,” the British star is also currently filming the still-untitled “Spider-Man” sequel from director Jon Watts. Holland opens up about preparing for his role as a soldier turned drug addict and then turned bank robber, along with what we can expect from the new superhero movie next year, which he calls “the most ambitious standalone superhero movie ever made.” Finally, he touches upon getting an itch for directing and how his dream role is to play James Bond and work with Maggie Smith. Listen to the podcast below!

Why did you choose “Cherry” for your first project following the MCU films?

Tom Holland: I don’t really know why now. I would have accepted this job; whoever it was, it’s the gift that keeps on giving. And I got to work with the Russos [Anthony and Joe] again. People that I really respect and I look up to and admire their work. The subject matter is really important. I think we’re doing a service to society by shining the light on a problem that is happening on everybody’s doorstep, which is substance abuse, overmedicating people, and not treating PTSD in the correct way. And also, it was a challenge. I love a challenge. I love pushing myself. Hard work is good work. So it was a bit of a no-brainer, this film, and I can’t imagine there was any way in which I would have turned it down and walked away.

As a former child actor, was there a particular film that really inspired you to get into this business?

Holland: That’s a good question. There are definitely films that I’ve watched as a young kid where I’ve gone “Wow, I would love to be able to play a character like that.” I was 11 when I first went on stage for “Billy Elliot,” and I was too young to think about the future of my career. I never decided to become an actor. It’s just something that happened to my life. It happened to me, and I just never stopped. I was just really lucky that I was able to continue doing it for as long as I have been doing it. Working with Naomi Watts on “The Impossible” was the time where I realized that this was something that I could do for a living. The first time I was like, “Oh, wow, I could actually maybe be an actor.”

Is there a film or performance that’s your favorite of all-time?

Holland: “Primal Fear” for me is one of my all-time favorite performances from Edward Norton. I think he is just picture-perfect, and there is not anything about his performance that you could tweak to make it better. So that’s a film I’ve to continue to learn from.

What was it like working with your co-star Ciara Bravo on “Cherry?”

Holland: Let me start by saying what a pleasure it was to work with her and get to know her. She’s an amazing actress, and the film wouldn’t be half the film without the performance that she gives. I remember I wasn’t at all involved in the casting process of Emily’s character. And I remember The Russos sent me Ciara’s audition tape two or three months before we started production. And for the first time in my career, I was so intimidated. I saw her tape, and I was like, “Oh, she’s like, too good,” and I need to do more work, because she’s going to act me off the screen, and no one’s going to want to follow my character. I thought the Russos were going to be like, “fuck you, Tom Holland, we’re rewriting the film with her now.”

I was so intimidated, and we were so lucky that she was so confident. You can only imagine she’s a young actress. She’s working with the two biggest directors, arguably of all time at the moment, and, and she’s working on this really difficult film with the tricky subject matter. She was so confident, brave, talented, and unselfish in the way that she went about making the film.

How did you prepare your unnamed character in “Cherry” in terms of meeting with addicts or veterans?

Holland: We did quite a lot of research. We spent a lot of time at the VA in Cleveland, and we were interviewing veterans who were suffering from PTSD and substance abuse and trying to seek help. It was an amazing process because it really showed me that therapy works. That these men and women were healing, and they were getting better. We met people at the beginning of their treatment, and they were really closed off, and they weren’t quite comfortable enough to share the stories.

We had people in the middle of their treatment who were getting to that stage where they were willing to open up. So some of them didn’t want to open up to a 24-year-old actor making a movie. Then the people at the end of their treatment who have made peace with their decisions and their mistakes were able to own it. They would tell us the stories and almost tell them proudly. I think one of the big problems in our society is that if you say to someone, “I’m going to rehab,” immediately the reaction is like, “Oh my god, that must mean that you’re really messed up.”

But what the reaction should be is, “Congratulations…that’s amazing. I’m really proud of you that you’re seeking help and that you’ve recognized that you’re in trouble.” I’m hoping that this film can do that for some people. And that, we can maybe stop some kids from falling into this trap of addiction in the future.

After working so much with The Russo Brothers, are you getting an itch to direct in the future?

Holland: Yes, absolutely. I’ve been trying to scratch that itch for a really long time. And my younger brother Harry and I have been writing a script together. We managed to acquire the rights to a book series that we loved as kids. So we’ve been sort of chipping away at that. I now have so much more respect for writers because it’s so difficult, man. I mean, trying to put something on the page is really, really quite difficult. I’d love to direct one day. We’re not rushing anything because I think the project we’re working on is amazing and can be quite powerful. So we want to make sure we get it right. But hopefully, within the next five years, you’ll see Harry and I sitting in the director’s chairs shouting action.

Can you tell us anything about the upcoming “Spider-Man” movie that you’re filming?

Holland: Obviously, I can’t really say anything.

You can tell us what happens at the end, right?

Holland: [pauses] What’s funny is like, I nearly told you then. You were so close to getting what you want.

I can say that it’s the most ambitious standalone superhero movie ever made. You sit down, read the script, and see what they’re trying to do, and they’re succeeding. It’s really impressive. I’ve never seen a standalone superhero movie quite like it. And I’m just, you know, again, that lucky little shit who happens to be Spider-Man in it. We got a lot more shooting to do. We started before Christmas and shot for like seven weeks. We stopped for the Christmas break, and then we’re starting again. I’m just as excited as everyone else to see it, let alone be a part of it.

What’s a role from a book or a series that you would really like to play?

Holland: I’ve got two roles coming up that I’m playing in the next few years that I’m really excited about, but I can’t talk about them yet. But I mean, ultimately, as a young British lad who loves cinema, I’d love to be James Bond. So, you know, I’m just putting that out there. I look pretty good in a suit.

What actress are you dying to work but haven’t as of yet?

Holland: I really want to work with Maggie Smith. I love her. She’s so like English and just seems so sweet. I’d really love to work with Maggie Smith.

You’re eying the “Downton Abbey” universe now I see.

[hen-of-letters]

Series 15 gives all of the characters you could ever care about their worst possible endings, but presents these endings as somehow good or satisfying or acceptable.  Here's a list.

The short version: they're Chuck's endings, and Chuck is a bad writer.  

None of the characters can escape the fate set out for them or break the cycle of trauma begun by Chuck.  The show itself doesn't even realise how truly awful these endings are - it dresses up a tragedy in pie gags and pretty colours and calls it a happy ending.  And in order to inflict these worst possible endings on its characters, the narrative has to be twisted and contorted in the most absurd of ways.

So, onto the list:

Adam: Forgotten and left to languish in the pit, he's finally freed, only to suffer an anticlimactic offscreen death and be forgotten again.  Michael, his only companion for so long, is also killed off.  In the finale, blood family seems to be all that matters - and yet he isn't mentioned.

Alternate Kaia: She helps rescue Kaia from the Bad Place, but chooses to remain there to face certain destruction rather than return to earth with Kaia, Dean and Sam.  This world is so hostile to her that death is preferable.  Her horrible, pointless death stands as a powerful statement about the real harm caused by exclusion, but the text doesn't seem to acknowledge the full horror of this.  Her death isn't remarked upon; it seems to suggest that both Kaia and her double are returned to their rightful places.  It's just one example of the show creating awful endings without seeming to understand how awful they truly are.  (I rant a lot more about Alternate Kaia here.)

Amara: After being betrayed and locked away for millennia, we see Amara's initial impulse for revenge and destruction transform into an admiration for creation.  She becomes an advocate for humanity and the world.  And yet she ends up being betrayed (by both the Winchesters and Chuck) and locked away again.  She's absorbed by Chuck in a way that doesn't fit within the logic of the show.  Chuck and Amara are equals - it doesn't make any sense that Chuck could overpower her.  Wouldn't they become a blend of the two of them?  And, since their separation caused the Big Bang, wouldn't their unity end the world?  Anyway, having the cosmic feminine be voiceless and invisible is the worst way for Amara's story to end.  Having Jack speak for her, saying that they are 'in harmony' tries to make this an acceptable fate for her, but only makes it worse.

Benny:  Another offscreen death, and this one feels particularly spiteful.  It really seems like he was killed just to be a conversation-starter for Cas and Dean.  However, if his fate can be sealed by a line of dialogue, then it only proves that confirmation of the fates of Eileen, AU Charlie and the other hunters could have been given in the same way.  Just one line could have done it - "I just spoke to Eileen, everyone's back."  Instead, at the end of 15.19 we're in the absurd position of having Sam and Dean toast the people they've lost without them even bothering to check who that may or not be.

Billie: The bizarre thing about Billie being revealed as a villain at the end of Season 15 was that she was supposed to be acting in self-interest - that she wanted to be the new God.  It made no sense.  What would make sense to me, though, would be if Chuck was controlling her (as Lucifer bound Death in Season 5).  Season 15 has strong echoes of Season 4 - and Billie took on both the role of Ruby (feeding Jack hearts rather than demon blood, but nevertheless making him into a weapon, with the price being the loss of his sense of self and ultimately his life) and Heaven (persuading Dean that it had to be this way, and telling him to go along with the plan).  We only have the Shadow's word for Billie's motivation, and we know she wasn't responsible for the deaths of the AU hunters, so in the end her status is ambiguous - she really seems to be a victim of Chuck's bad writing.  She's erased from the narrative along with Castiel, when really she should have been freed from Chuck's control and fighting on the side of nature and free will alongside the Winchesters.  Supernatural also concludes with nobody in the role of Death, which is a crazy loose thread left dangling.

Castiel: His confession was a thing of beauty, perfectly summing up the truth of both his and Dean's characters.  Both of them are made of and motivated by love.  And yet after speaking his truth, he is silenced.  He never gets to hear that he is loved in return (when the previous twelve seasons have made it abundantly clear to the audience that Dean loves Cas just as much as Cas loves Dean).  His capacity for love made him the only thing that Chuck could not control; as an agent of free will, he should have had a central role in Chuck's defeat.  

In 15x13, when Cas is in the Empty to see Ruby, the Shadow says: "funny thing about [Death's] plan, though... she didn't say anything about needing you. Baby, you can't just traipse in and out of here. It upsets the order of things."  To me, this sounded so much like 4x22's "you're not in this story" that I saw it as a pretty clear indication that Cas would play an important part in Chuck's defeat.  Because Team Free Will wouldn't follow the plan, would they?  They would find another way, wouldn't they?  Wouldn't they?

However, after the confession, he's never seen on screen again.  He's barely mentioned.  Eventually we're told he "helped" Jack, so he ends up where he started: as a servant of heaven.  He deserved to complete his fall, to become human, to live as well as speak his truth.  Making him a silent, unseen instrument of heaven undoes his entire arc.  Erasing him from the narrative requires the extraordinary warping of that narrative: nothing about his death suggests that it should be accepted as a permanent 'sacrifice', when we know that there is a spell that can return angels from the Empty (and, thanks to the handprint, we have his blood for it) and that Lucifer was brought back by Chuck in 15x19.  And the idea that Sam, Jack and Dean wouldn't try everything in their power to bring him back is utterly ludicrous.

Cas' confession scene to so closely mirrors 4x01's barn scene that the narrative is crying out for the parallel to be completed by Dean rescuing Cas from the Empty just as Cas rescued Dean from hell.  However, we're never given that narrative closure - just like we are never given the reunions demanded by the scenes of Sam losing Eileen and Charlie losing Stevie.

Chuck:  Okay, so he might not make your list of characters you could ever care about, but my point about his ending is that while it's fitting, for it to really work we also needed Cas to become human, too.  For Chuck, being human is a punishment, but for Cas it would be a reward.  We really needed this balance, otherwise all we have is humanity as the worst thing that could happen to you, which is not exactly a great parting message for the show.  (Also, how precisely is it possible to make him human?)  Not only is being human the worst fate possible, but, specifically, so is growing old and being forgotten.  Again, this is a punishment for Chuck, but it would have been a reward for Dean: growing old when the story (and his own self-loathing) constantly told him that he would die young; and being forgotten, not in a negative sense, but in terms of not being a character in a story any more: remembered fondly by his friends but no longer a legend, just a man living an insignificant little life exactly the way he chooses.  

Dean: Where do I even start.  Let's be clear: ending the story with his death (by any means and in any scenario) was always going to be the absolute worst possible ending for him and for the show.

In 15x19 we have the glorious moment when Chuck calls him the ultimate killer, and Dean (heeding Cas' words from 15x18) says "that's not who I am".  Now, I mean no disrespect to Dean here (because he is, canonically, a genius) but I don't think that he was in any way necessary to the Michael double-cross plot that eventually saw the defeat of Chuck.  Honestly, if he had died in 15x18, then 15x19 could still have played out in exactly the same way.  It's as if he wasn't saved so that he could save the world - he was saved so that he could have this moment of self-realisation.  He was saved so that he could stand up to Chuck (God, and the author, and parallelled with John) and tell him that he's not the person that he tried to force him to be.  

And yet by the next episode, this revelation is entirely forgotten.  He doesn't get to continue his self-actualisation by speaking his truth to Cas.  Instead, 15x20 presents Dean as almost a caricature of himself.  Dean loves pie.  Dean loves his brother.  Dean loves his car.  All of his complexity (present right from Season 1) is stripped away.

Finally free to write his own story, he ends up giving Chuck the ending he always wanted: one dead Winchester - killed, you could argue, by his brother (Sam fails to call for help and instead tells Dean to "go".)  Told by Cas that he's not "Daddy's blunt instrument" and accepting that he's not "the ultimate killer", Dean goes right back to killing (even threatening torture) and following his father's words (in the form of the journal).  

For Dean to die exactly as the story has always told him, and as he's always told himself in his worst moments of self loathing, is brutal and tragic.  What makes it truly appalling is the way in which both Dean and Sam accept his death and say it's "okay".  For Dean to say "always keep fighting" at the very moment when he gives up and when Sam gives up on him is bitterly ironic.  (Interestingly, when Cas said "you have to keep fighting" in his 12x12 death speech, exhorting Sam and Dean to save themselves and leave him behind, Sam replied with "we are fighting.  We're fighting for you, Cas" and Dean followed with "and like you said, you're family.  And we don't leave family behind".)   

Dean has always been the symbol of humanity in Supernatural: he stood for earth against the forces of heaven and hell.  He'd rather live with pain and guilt than exist as a "Stepford bitch in paradise", and yet that's exactly what he becomes, driving mindlessly through Jack's new heaven where everyone is "happy".  Dean previously dismissed heaven's happiness as "Memorex", and after Mary's death he was the only one not consoled by the confirmation that she was in heaven and happy.  Having Dean being content in heaven is utterly out of character.  He's always fought for free will, and in heaven - where there's no agency, where he's cut off from the world - this is the one thing that he does not have.

Eileen: An interesting, complex, kickass character, Eileen deserved so much better than being erased from the storyline.  A Men of Letters legacy, I imagine her working with Sam to share the knowledge contained within the bunker whilst also dismantling the patriarchy, elitism and colonialism of its past.  Her disappearance from the narrative makes absolutely no sense - 15x09, 15x17 and 15x18 confirm just how significant she is to Sam, and yet we never see them reunited or see Sam mourning her death.  The audience's love for Eileen is totally disregarded, too - she's ripped away from us with no further explanation.

Emma: Okay, so she wasn't actually in season 15, but that's sort of my point.  I have a lot to say about Emma, but here I'll just say that her significance has grown massively since Season 7.  The narrative has shifted from Team Free Will being sons to being fathers.  Even if she wasn't brought back, just a mention of her would have been significant.  (I can't stop thinking about the massive potential of a conversation about Emma between Dean and Jack.)  She didn't deserve to be forgotten.  

Season 15 was Supernatural's last opportunity to bring back characters from the past - such as Meg, original Charlie, Crowley, and Bela Talbot - and give them better endings.  Sadly this opportunity was wasted.

Garth: He actually seems to get his happy ending, on several levels.  He finds a family; he finds happiness; he's acknowledged as a hero by the Winchesters, who had previously mocked him.  Dean's words to him about embracing happiness are powerful.  Garth lives as his full, authentic self - monstrosity now included.  It's that monstrosity that's the issue here, though - as werewolves, Garth, Bess and little Sam and Castiel are doomed to go to purgatory when they die.  Mia Vallens said to Jack that "it doesn't matter what you are - it matters what you do", but in this case the opposite is true.  It's hideously unfair, but again the show never acknowledges this.  It would have been simple to change in a line or two - just a quick mention about how purgatory has been fixed, so that only truly monstrous beasts like the leviathan are kept trapped there - but the injustice remains.

Jack:  From his birth, his destiny was either to be the monstrous destroyer or the divine saviour of the world, which is precisely why he should have side-stepped it and found another way.  He deserved to live without the weight of the world on his shoulders.  Instead, he was forced to take on the power of God - and since when has someone suddenly taking on a huge amount of power ever ended well for Team Free Will?  Then, he repeats the exact same pattern set up by Chuck.  First, he abandons his creation by walking away and disappearing off to, in the words of Bobby, "wherever he went".  Like Chuck, he ignores earthly suffering: if he's now omniscient and omnipotent, is he in fact complicit in Dean's death?  Secondly, he's controlling: he remodels Heaven as he sees fit, making it a place where everyone's together and everyone's happy, with its inhabitants given absolutely no choice in the matter.  There's also no reason why Jack had to vanish from the story - Chuck was capable of spending time on Earth.

The mechanics of the bomb plot also irks me no end.  We're told by Death that the bomb will kill Jack.  However, their plan fails, and Jack survives the blast.  In 15x19, Dean tells Chuck that all the work done to turn Jack into a "cosmic bomb" has turned him instead into a "power vacuum."  It makes it seem like a side-effect, and also that "sucking up bits of power" has been charging him up to the point where he's "unstoppable".  He's able to both absorb and appropriate Chuck's power.  However, in 15x17 Adam and Serafina explain that the bomb will create a "metaphysical supernova" that will make Jack into "a living black hole for divine energy" - which suggests that, actually, the bomb worked as intended.  

But if the plan worked, why is Jack still alive?  Billie made it clear that Jack wouldn't survive.  And "nothing can escape" a black hole - so how is Jack able to use Chuck's powers to bring back Earth's population? Besides which, didn't 15x17 reveal that Chuck himself had "orchestrated" the entire thing?  Which makes the theory that Chuck possessed Jack really the only outcome that makes sense.  (Particularly as Serafina talks about Jack making his "vessel" strong.  Jack is a nephil, not an angel - he has a body, not a vessel.  Also, the bomb is made by fusing his soul with his grace - so, the two things that make up Jack, his humanity and his divinity, are annihilated.)  Deliberately making Chuck win, however (with no tease at the end that this might be the case), makes no sense either.  My head hurts.

Kevin: As if he hadn't been treated badly enough by the story already, we find that Kevin hasn't been in Heaven since we last saw him, but rather hell.  He ends up as an untethered ghost, presumably just wandering about for all eternity.  His fate comes courtesy of a bizarre new rule that souls from hell can't go to heaven - when previously both Bobby and John have done exactly that.  Again, just one line telling us that he's now in heaven could have changed his ending.

Michael: Bringing back Adam and Michael was a brilliant move, and this version of Michael was utterly compelling - struggling with his faith in his father after being abandoned, torn between his loyalty to Heaven and his relationship with Adam.  I thought that his handing over of the spell was very similar to Cas' "just so you understand … why I can't help" moment, and it seemed the precursor to Michael becoming an advocate for humanity, even a member of Team Free Will.  However, instead Michael was doomed to play out his father's narrative: killing his brother and repeating the cycle of sibling conflict and trauma that Chuck began when he betrayed Amara.  (And we'll credit Chuck's bad writing with the fact that the battle between Michael and Lucifer that was once predicted to wipe out millions and scorch the globe can now happen in the bunker without so much as a chair being knocked over - and without wires as well.)

Rowena: She seems to be relishing her reign as Queen of Hell, but the way she's so casually condemned is jarring.  Surely her previous good deeds and her final act of self sacrifice would be enough to tip the scales in a heavenly direction?  (It worked for Lily Sunder - another woman who vowed never to be powerless again.)  They could easily have said it was Chuck's fault that she had to remain in hell - but instead it just seems like a foregone conclusion.  She deserved better.

Sam: If we're supposed to believe that having a "normal" life is Sam's idea of writing his own story, why doesn't he do it as soon as Chuck is defeated?   Instead, his suburban "apple pie" life only happens after Dean dies, which makes it seem more of a grief arc than a happy ending.  (Just as he escaped into a self-professed "fantasy" life with Amelia after Dean's death, or when he succumbed to the comfort of a fake married life in Charming Acres after the trauma of losing all the AU hunters).  

The idea that he'd keep hunting for Dean doesn't ring true - Dean had been the one openly craving retirement and domesticity for several seasons.  After all, the idea of Dean as a hunter and Sam as the brother who wants to be normal is Chuck's story.  Dean wasn't the "ultimate killer" that Chuck wanted him to be, and Sam too had been forging his own identity as a leader, a Man of Letters, and a powerful witch.  He'd also found love - and with Eileen, he could be his full, authentic self.  The idea that he would leave her is absurd, as is the idea that he would abandon his entire extended found family, who seem to have no part in his new life.  When Dean returned from purgatory, he was furious that Sam had failed to help Kevin.  Would Sam really do the exact same thing again - walk away from Jody and the girls when they are mourning both Cas and Dean and need his support?  Would he just abandon Rowena's entire witchy collection and leave the huge store of knowledge in the Bunker locked up in the dark?

The Shadow: again, dubious on a list of characters you care about, but hey - all they ever really wanted was to go back to sleep, and can't we all relate to that?  Anyway, they made the list for being one of the most frustrating open endings of the show.  What did it mean for the Empty to be "loud"?  Who is the Shadow, anyway?  Just how did this cosmic entity fit in with the mythology of Chuck and Amara?  It's maddening that the Shadow and the Empty were made central to several seasons only to be suddenly dropped.

The Wayward Sisters: my beloveds. Such a brilliant cast of characters and such wasted potential.  They're an important part of the Winchesters' family and Team Free Will, but, in the end, they're forgotten.  Claire may have gotten her happy ending with the return of Kaia, but this happens off screen.  We never see her reaction to the deaths of Castiel or Dean.

The final few episodes seem to be about stripping away all of the characters except Sam and Dean, so they are completely alone by 15x20. Phrases such as "just us" and "just you and me" and "it's always been you and me" seem to suggest that this is a good thing, but previously the idea of them being isolated and alone has seemed like the worst case scenario (for example in Season 8, when Sam and Dean are forced to give up Amelia and Benny, respectively, or in Chuck's vision of a future in which the brothers lose Eileen and Cas along with Jody and the girls, give up hope, and end up as vampires, killed by their remaining friends). 

Anyway, the whole idea of just Sam and Dean going wherever the road takes them is Chuck's story.  It's on the cover of his books.  By making Chuck the villain, Season 15 itself makes it impossible for a return to this idea to be a satisfying conclusion to the story.

In fact, Supernatural was never about just Sam and Dean.  It was always about family.  Season 1 was about Sam, Dean and John.  Bobby introduced the phrase "family don't end with blood" in Season 3 and Dean coined the phrase "Team Free Will" in Season 4.  It's an ethos that has spread into the fandom, too.  Didn't the SPN Family deserve a finale that celebrated that idea, of banding together, of caring about the whole world, of love being the ultimate expression of free will?

You can't help but pick up on a theme: characters that were forgotten are forgotten again.  Characters who were locked away are locked away again.  The same narratives and the same traumas play out again and again.  No-one escapes their miserable, predestined fate.  It's Chuck's ending.  And it's Chuck's spiteful ending.

It's the ending that kills off its beloved characters, and also destroys their whole world.  The bunker is left in darkness.  Time has moved forward by so much in order to accommodate Sam's natural death that we can't even imagine the ongoing stories of other characters like Garth or the Sioux Falls family (ironic, given the episode's title).

It's the kind of ending you get when a show is cancelled and the writer decides to kill off their characters and wreck their world so that there's no possibility of another network or another writer taking over their story.  (And yet outside of the show, there's no evidence to suggest this - you would think that the ending had been designed to make a reboot impossible, but it has already been talked about.)

If we were not going to get a sense of the world continuing, then we could have been given a more radical and satisfying ending.  We could have had Death collect on their promise to one day reap God.  We could have had a world freed from the supernatural entirely: heaven, hell and purgatory obliterated, and Team Free Will finding peace in life on earth.

Because Chuck has been the author and the narrator the entire time, it makes no sense for the story to continue past the point of his defeat.  (It makes even less sense for that story to revert back to Chuck's ideal narrative.)  So, really we should have been given a more open ending: Team Free Will triumphant over Chuck and their future left open, the author dead and the characters' stories entrusted to the audience.

Instead, in the end, it's a bizarre mix of needlessly closed-down endings (killing off Cas, Sam and Dean, and vanishing Jack) and frustrating open ones (the loud Empty, there being no Death, Kevin wandering, the ambiguous fate of Eileen, Adam, Donna and the AU hunters).  

And the final two episodes are also objectively bad.  The double-cross plot in 15x19 is lame when the resolution of the Chuck storyline should have been profound. (It invites comparisons with the Season 11 finale, which was excellent.) 15x20 feels weirdly empty and flat.  Dean's death is unrealistic; it echoes Sam's death in Season 2 and Dean's in Season 9 (which, if you think about it, would only be possible if Chuck was still writing it), but lacks the emotional punch of either.  Dean's "I'm proud of us," in his Season 9 death scene is so much more powerful than his "I'm proud of you" in the finale.  And let's not even mention that wig.

In conclusion: every single character deserved better.  The actors deserved better.  The audience deserved better.  Because the ending we were given was not the ending that the season, or the entire series, had been building towards.

The ending tries to destroy every good thing that Supernatural has ever given us - vibrant characters, the fight for free will, the value of found family, the power of love - but it fails. Ultimately the characters and themes are too powerful to be contained by that terrible, flimsy ending. So now I've gotten all of that off my chest, I'm going right back to finale denialism.