#she cannot kill him and he cannot kill her

[xfgpng]

control …

— [ nsfw ] kissing, dry humping, first kiss + they’re both virgins

— wc :: 1.2k

caleb likes to think he’s in control of everything that happens around him. he’s always been pretty good at controlling his emotions and schooling his expressions and he tries not to overreact.


that’s the problem with her, she throws him off balance in the best and worst ways and it leaves him feeling so unsettled.

the thing about college, it’s supposed to be the best years of your life and he doesn’t know if he agrees or disagrees with that. if he really thinks about it, it’s bullshit but he knows why he feels that way.

he keeps himself composed most days, he has no reason to act out of character but this is something new to him.

caleb wasn’t naive enough to think this would never happen, he just always thought he’d be able to handle it well but he cannot. his hands feel clammy and his hot around his neck. is this even normal? he doesn’t fucking know.

he wants to lie and say he’s completely normal about her having other guy friends but he’s definitely not. his skin crawls whenever they touch her shoulder, grab at her wrists even if it’s completely platonic and innocent.


he especially hates when they lean in to close to talk to her when they’re at a party and the music is too loud. those are the nights caleb avoids alcohol like it personally offended him.

he cannot trust himself to be sober in these situations, he doesn’t want to imagine what he’d do with his evol even if the thought sends a thrill through him. he knows he has a problem, he’s just not going to deal with it.

not in a healthy way at least.

“caleb?”

he snaps out his thoughts, smiling down at where she’s laying on the floor in his dorm room. she’s supposed to be studying but she’s distracted and he shouldn’t enable her but he always does. she’s just too pretty, she has a face you cannot say no to and you’d be insane to disagree.


he’d like someone to disagree, that would be a fun day for him and a very unfortunate one for them.

“i’m listening” he lies. if he had been, he would’ve heard what she asked him and understand why she’s being all shy right now.

“wait.. what?” he sits up, looking at her properly. he definitely has a problem if he’s thinking about her so much and she’s right next to him.

“.. it’s stupid” she frowns

“it’s not” he reassures. he means it sincerely because he is willing to do whatever she wants. he hopes she doesn’t know that.

“i just .. i haven’t had my first kiss yet and i know some people think it’s a big deal and maybe it is but how will i know?” she looks up at him and she looks so upset by this so he tries not to panic.


was she seeing someone? did she like someone and that’s why she was thinking about kissing?

caleb could tell her it’s too early to worry about that and maybe she could just focus on college but that would be selfish of him. so selfish.

“i could teach you” he says and it’s out before his brain can even process any of that shit but it’s too late now because her eyes widen and she sits up so fast.

“what?” she asks because even he can’t believe what he just said.

“i just mean if you’re that curious” he smiles, playing it cool.

“you’d do that for me?” she stands now, moving to sit on his bed right in front of him and he will kill his roommate if the fucker comes back now.

“you know i would” he shrugs like it’s nothing even though his heart his beating so fast.

and that’s the thing about control, he always believed he was in control of everything in his life but the moment their lips touch, he feels his entire world shift and he doesn’t know if he’s breathing but she trusts him.

he has his hands on the side of her face before he can stop himself and she gasps softly into the kiss that he can’t help but lightly bite her bottom lip. she likes that, or so it seems because she doesn’t push him away.

her lips taste like the peach flavoured lipgloss she likes to wear and her skin is soft beneath his fingertips.

“is this okay?” he asks, running his thumb across her lower lip. she’s so beautiful, it hurts.

“yes…” she nods, “… can we do more?”

“more?” he tries not to show how excited that makes him.

“with tongue” she whispers

he doesn’t need to be told twice and her moan makes it hard to focus on anything other than her lips against his and how hard he suddenly is.

he slips his tongue into her mouth and she learns pretty quickly, he hasn’t even kissed anyone either but he’s seen enough videos and he’s always been a pretty fast learner himself and he would be damned if she had this experience with anyone that wasn’t him.

she moves closer, her arms around his neck and he can’t pull her onto his lap. if he’s being honest, he’s been hard since she said yes to the kiss but he would never want to overwhelm her. her first kiss is special because it’s them, he wouldn’t rush this.


that is something he can control.

“does that feel good?” he asks because her comfort is the most important thing to him.

“yes” she sounds less shy now, more like herself and she’s smiling so sweetly he can’t help but lean back in and this time she takes the lead and he likes how she lightly pulls at his hair. he didn’t know he’d be into that but he’s learning a lot about himself since being in college.

she climbs onto his lap on her own and if she feels how hard he is, she doesn’t comment on it which he appreciates. she’s always been considerate and just so perfect he thinks he might combust.

“put your hands .. on my waist” she tells him and he nods, as if he’s in some sort of trance now.

he’s not embarrassed about the grinding or the fact that he cums in his pants 10 minutes later. he’s still a fucking virgin and she doesn’t seem to care because she moans loud enough for him that he knows everyone down the hall heard her and only a small part of him hates that, he knows when he’s alone he’s going to be pissed that they heard how pretty she sounds but right now he wants to keep kissing her.

[dumpywrites]

Trophy Boy - Jeon Jungkook

Prompt: Beauty privilege exists, that's why you're selling your hot best friend.

Prompt request: HERE

Genre/tags: Fluff, friends to lovers, model! Jungkook, soft! Jungkook, office worker reader

Pairing: Jungkook x she/her reader

a/n: softie and goofy Jungkook is my weakness! and I know ya'll feel the same way :)

Yet another busy day at the office. You were sitting down in a slumped position in your cubicle, something you should probably change or would regret in the future. The hot air was not helping you at all and you were starting to sweat through your stripped shirt, despite the air conditioner being on full blast. 

Boss just entered the room with the not-so-short rant targeted specifically to the marketing team. Apparently interest in buying plain tees and other basic fashion items were not the greatest at the moment, but if you actually were to be frank, it was more on the brand you were working at. Your boss was blaming things left and right, trying to find excuses to cope with his current losses. 

The thing was with the big guy, was that he wanted huge impact while spending the smallest amount he could possibly afford. It was a somewhat clever business decision in terms of saving cost, but sometimes people just needed that extra boom. That go big or go home. If your boss wanted his brand to reach a new market of people, he needed to brave himself for greater risks. 

“Sir, maybe we do need to endorse some big name influencers to help boost our social media exposure.” One of your co-workers spoke up. 

“We cannot afford millions just for a few Instagram stories, moreover they charge more for a simple photoshoots.” Your boss replied with a groan. 

“Sir, but if you look at how Calvin Klein promote their stuff, we obviously need some good looking people wearing and demonstrating how good our products could be.” The guy retorted. “Good looking people make basic items look good. That’s literally what they do.” 

“Good looking people cost a lot, Hoseok. If you could somehow find me a drop dead gorgeous guy who would somehow accept anything under thirty dollars per hour, we’ll talk.” And with that the man walked out from the room. 

“Well good luck on that, I guess.” Hoseok rolled his eyes with a smirk. 

“At this rate you’re gonna get kick out.” You eyed the guy next to you. “We don’t want that, remember? We need you resigning with class, so that you don’t get a bad rep???”

“That man needs to know that whatever boomer shit we’re doing here, ain’t gonna boost our sales!” He protested. “You could buy plain white t-shirts anywhere, what makes us special?!”

“True.” You sighed. “I even heard the design team complaining about this.”

“If only we could afford that one handsome mukbang streamer who is everywhere right now.” Hoseok sighed along with you. 

“If you could magically make Kim Seokjin to accept three hundred per hour I would literally worship you.” 

“Do you maybe have any hot friends?” 

“God, I don’t know?! Do you??? I don’t have any friends who are influencers or anything.” 

“Can I see any group photos you have? They don’t have to be an influencer. Just gotta be good looking enough. The rest can be helped through styling.” Hoseok scooted closer. 

“You sound crazy.” You eyed the guy, shaking your head. “Are we that desperate?!”

“Hey, maybe doing this could help me get that recommendation letter, you know?” Hoseok said smugly. “Now let me look through your friend group…”

“If you wanted a decent looking guy that we could revamp by styling later, Yoongi literally exists.” You said, suggesting the tech-support guy. 

“He’s short. Although I get your point, would he even be willing to do so without actually killing any of us???”

“Fair enough.” You laughed. “Here, I don’t know, take a look at my friends, I guess…”You handed him your phone. 

The picture you flashed on your phone screen was from a recent dinner hangout you had with your group friend of five. Hoseok throughly scanned the photo as if he was doing some detective work. It did not take him too long before an idea popped and he snapped his fingers. He straightened his pose and moved his chair closer to you. 

“Who is this hunk with tattoos?!”

“Uh, that’s my friend Jungkook?” You eyed him suspiciously. “Don’t tell me—“

“He’s hot.”

You stopped and looked back to your co-worker’s direction. “He’s the most unserious person I know, we can’t—“

“But he’s hot.” Hoseok cut your sentence again. “He’s not like a model or something, right?”

“He’s a graphic designer…” You replied, unsure. 

“Perfect! That means he won’t mind us underpaying him.” He smirked. “Do not argue with me right now, I know you agree with me.”

You eyed the guy again, searching for doubt and found none. The guy was dead serious about this. 

“Fine.”

**

And that was how you found yourself assisting your friend for his now third photoshoot. After the first one being a huge success, your company kept asking for more content and for him to become their part time model. 

Obviously your friend’s beauty was no news for you. Jungkook had always been cute in your eyes alone, way before he discovered Pinterest and basic styling. You had known him for a few years, the friend group was built around university days after all, and you had seen him through thick and thin. Literally though, you saw him transformed from this scrawny boy to a gym bro right in front of you. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by a few knocks at the door. You straightened your figure and told the person to enter. 

“Hi, Y/N!” 

It was Chaewon from design department. Her alongside with Jimin both work in the fashion area. While she designed the silhouettes, Jimin helped with the styling. Even though she was a normal employee like you, she actually was the CEO’s daughter. It was a known fact already, but she insisted to be treated the same as everyone else. 

“Hi, do you need something, Chaewon?” 

“I need to talk to you about something…” The girl said, looking nervous. She was fidgeting her fingertips and looking to other direction. 

“Sure, what is it?”

“Jungkook’s your friend, right?”

“Uh, yeah… why?”

“I really need your help.” She put her hands together above her head. “I need a plus one to a wedding.”

“And you need Jungkook to help you?” You looked at her questioningly. 

“Yes!” She said, nodding her head a few times. “Please, my ex is gonna be there.”

“I’m not sure if he’s willing—“

“I’ll pay.”

You froze and she continued again. 

“I overheard you talking to Hoseok that Jungkook’s not getting the pay he deserves because he’s new…“

“Chaewon, you don’t have to—“

“Please, just this once??? If it makes you feel better I’ll pay you both.” When you stopped she added. “Is five hundred enough? I’ll give you the same amount.” 

You gulped. So unlike her father, Chaewon was not at all stingy. Her offer sounded really tempting. While you wanted to say it sounded good in your head out of good conscious in you, because Jungkook deserved better pay, you also couldn’t lie to yourself that you needed the extra dollars at the moment. Accidentally dropping your phone from the stairs and having to replace the whole screen certainly did a dent to your savings. Not to mention how your car just broke down a month ago.

“I’ll… ask him.”

“Awesome. Let me know as soon as possible cause the wedding’s this weekend!” She smiled before exiting the room. 

You spent the next few hours contemplating with your inner debate. It sounded rather wrong, but there’s no harm if he agrees to it? You thought. 

“Hey, there!”

Speak of the devil. There he was, skipping through the office walking straight to your shared room. The muscle bunny, sometimes his duality scared you, how his facial expression and demeanor could switch in between takes and breaks. He looked effortlessly good with the brand’s blank white t-shirt hugging his body nicely. Let Jimin cook because he styled his hair wavy this time and it looked so good on him. 

“Hello to you too, Mr. Model.” You shook your head, smiling. “Done with the shoots?”

“Yep. I finished an hour earlier this time.” He leaned to your table with a grin on his lips. 

“You didn’t give Jimin and Chaewon a hard time, right?” You said, mentioning the design team. 

“Nope.” He giggled. “Chaewon even said that I’ve improved a lot and I barely need any pose references now.”

“That’s great.” You said with your eyes still glued to the computer screen. 

He hummed and took the empty seat next to you. He started flipping through his phone, not wanting to disturb you but also not wanting to leave.

“Aren’t you leaving? Hoseok’s meeting is done in like ten minutes. He’s gonna need that seat.” You pointed. 

He bit his inner cheeks. “What time are you finished?”

“At five? And you knew this already, stop asking.”

“Who knows if I keep asking, one day you’ll get to clock out earlier.” He shrugged. 

You chuckled. “You know you don’t have to wait up for me every single time.” 

“You got me the job, it’s only fair. Besides, I’m not doing photoshoots every single day.”

Yeah and they’re underpaying you. You sighed. “Kook, I want to ask you something…”

His eyes lit up as he perked up, looking to your direction like a puppy. He nodded eagerly with a smile, waiting for you. “Yeah?”

“Chaewon asked me if you’d be interested on being her plus one at a wedding?”

The excitement in his face dropped almost instantly. You could see his eyes frowned at the question thrown at him. 

“That’s weird. Why would she?”

“It’s a wedding and her ex is attending.” You explained. “She said she’ll pay.”

“Nah, that’s still fucked up though. Isn’t she the big boss’ daughter or something?!” He raised his eyebrows. 

“But she’ll pay.” You repeated. “She told me five hundred…”

“Oh shit.” He widened his eyes. “For real?!”

You nodded. “Just say yes, it’s literally just a one time thing.” 

“You sure?” 

“Yeah, I’ll help you out with everything.” 

He breathed out a sigh. “Alright, only if you’ll help me out.” 

“Great, I’ll let Chaewon know.” You turned your head quickly realizing Hoseok was already at the door. “Go home, don’t wait up for me.”

He shook his head and smile. “Okay, don’t forget to eat, yeah?” 

“I won’t. See ya, Kook.” 

He waved his hand to you with a big tooth-aching smile and headed towards the door. He briefly waved to Hoseok and the guy greeted him back before he went out. 

“How are you not dating that dude is beyond me.” Hoseok suddenly blurted as he calmly took his seat. 

You almost choked on nothing. “Excuse me?!”

“That boy is clearly into you. He basically waits for you every single time like an obedient dog.”

“Cause he’s my friend and I technically got him this job? He said it himself.”

“Sure.” He snickered, eyes immediately back to his computer screen. “Keep telling yourself that.”

“I will because that’s the truth.” You rolled your eyes and returned to your work. 

**

As promised, you found yourself accompanying Jungkook on a Saturday morning, helping him choosing a suit. Jimin was kind enough to recommend you a good place to rental one. Man only had baggy clothes and baggy clothes only in his wardrobe, and for sure they were not a good fit for a wedding.

“Have you asked Chaewon what color she’ll be wearing?” Jungkook asked as he browsed through the hanger. 

“Didn’t I gave you her number? You should talk to her you know, it’ll be less awkward.” 

The guy puffed his cheeks, pouting. “Dunno dude… It still feels kinda weird to me. I’ll rehearse when I pick her up.” 

“Oh, speaking of that. I’ve rented the car for you. It’s a Lexus.”

“Couldn’t afford a Porche or some?” 

“I figured we don’t need to be that flashy.”

“I was joking.” Jungkook sighed with a smile. “It’s always straight up business with you, huh?”

“What’s that suppose to mean?” You looked at him for a second, but proofing him right as your eyes quickly moved to the loafer shoes at the shelf. “I think these could go well with your suit.” 

The man sighed again with a defeated smile on his face as he took the loader to try them on. “This is fun too, I guess…”

“You mean renting an outfit and cosplaying as a rich person?” You quirked your eyebrow and grinned. 

“No, I mean hanging out with you like this, silly. When was even the last time we hangout like this?” He chuckled, jumping up and down as he tried the shoes. “Would you look at that, I could probably dance in these!” 

“We’ll take those then.” You gestured him to take them off and he did so. “I don’t know, back in college??? Back then when I helped you buying an outfit for—“

“Don’t!” With his eyes widened he immediately stopped you from finishing your sentence. 

“Why?” You laughed. 

“Do not even man… that was so embarrassing.” He covered his face. “My confidence level was through the roof thinking I could win someone with a bowl cut.”

“Hey, that bowl cut wasn’t so bad!” You chuckled. “Aww, I suddenly missed the cute and innocent looking Jungkookie…”

“You mean I don’t look cute and innocent anymore?” He batted his eyelashes at you jokingly. 

“Taehyung thought you were a drug dealer when he first met you.” You folded your arms. 

“He’s a judgmental person.” He clicked his tongue. “I am in fact still cute, you need to accept that.”

“Sure.” You giggled and patted him right in his tatted bicep. 

There were some audible protests coming from your friend, but you let him be as you paid for the rented clothings and footwear. 

After making sure all things were set, you texted Chaewon to double check on the time and place, as well as asking her on whether there was a specific topic she wanted to talk or not to talk. Jungkook still refused to call her or even text her personally, which is a bit annoying, but at the end of the day you were also getting that paycheck so you couldn’t complain too much, since Jungkook was the main performer in this after all. 

“All good?” You asked him. 

“Do you think I should take off my lip piercings?” He said, looking at the mirror. 

“Nah, it’s fine. Chaewon already knows what she’s doing when she asked for you.” 

“She specifically wants a bad boy for a plus one?” 

“Now who says you’re a bad boy?”

“I thought we just had a talk about how I don’t look cute and innocent anymore???” He turned to face you. “Although, I’m not a believer but that’s your statement.” He shrugged with a big smirk on his lips. 

“Your exterior yes, but you’re not fooling anyone with your personality, my guy. You’re a softie.” You chuckled and moved closer to fix his crooked tie.

A genuine smile was visible on his face. “Glad to hear that.” 

Seeing his smile instantly made you did as well. “Nervous?”

“Me? Nah, never.” He dismissed. 

“Of course.” You giggled. “Go, we’re so gonna try that new Japanese restaurant after this!”

And the party went well. Apparently Jungkook impressed all of Chaewon’s friends, even though they were not the main target and some were even aware of the agreement. Most importantly, he got her ex’s attention. He got the guy approaching, introducing himself, and seemingly pissed when Jungkook decided not to reveal his name to him in return. 

In conclusion, Chaewon had a great time and both of you were paid handsomely. Oh, that wagyu beef you had together afterwards sure was delicious! 

**

“I may need to borrow Jungkook again.” 

You stared at the lady in front of you, fazed. Chaewon had just stopped you right after work, just randomly popping the sentence out of nowhere. You were not too sure how to react. 

“I’ll pay again! Don’t worry.” She giggled nervously. “It’s just that, my parents actually think it’s good if I have someone with me to attend a shareholder party…” 

“I see.” Was all you could say. 

“They don’t know I’m paying both of you but they do think he’s one good looking arm candy…”

You sure did not like how she phrased that. 

“It’ll be quicker than the wedding, it’s just a small dinner.” She reasoned again. “Can you ask Jungkook?”

“Why don’t you?” You cleared your throat quickly after realizing how that might sound rude. “I mean, you could just ask him?”

“I don’t think he’s that comfortable with me… He also talked to me through you, no? Please, I really need your help.” 

“I…” The thought of your unfinished car payment started to fill your mind again. “I’ll talk to him.” 

“I’m counting on you.” She quickly reached for your hand and shook it vigorously. “And uh, keep it between us but I think you’ll be getting a raise next month with your contribution and all.” She winked before leaving you. 

The whole ride back home got you thinking deeply. Mostly considering your morals and common sense. Sure it was easy money on your part, and while Jungkook himself had not shown major complaints, you couldn’t help but to feel awful. You then decided to give him a call.

“Ye?” The guy on the other line sounded like he had food inside his mouth as he spoke. 

“You busy?” 

“Wait.” He said, seemingly taking his time to swallow. “No, I was just catching up on Squid Game with Bam. What’s up?”

“Chaewon kinda asked for your help again.” 

“Huh?” He voiced, followed by an upcoming video call notification. 

“Wait, do you really have to video call right now???” You swore you almost laughed, this man could be out of this world sometimes. 

“I need your live reaction.” He chuckled. “And Bam too! Don’t you miss him?”

“Shit, hold on.” You quickly took a peek at your reflection in the mirror, making sure your at home appearance was at least presentable before you accept the call request. “You are so weird, you know that?”

“I’m aware.” He laughed and took his dog’s paw to playfully wave at you, making you smile. 

“So uh, about Chaewon…”

“Oh yeah, that.” He frowned. “Do I need to go to another wedding? Damn, people must really care about the declining birth rate…”

“Her parents apparently wanted her to go to a dinner with the shareholders.” You controlled yourself not to make any weird expression, thinking about the word eye-candy Chaewon called him still rubbed you the wrong way. 

“Oh, am I gonna get introduced as a model?” He beamed. “That’d be cool.” 

“I don’t know.” You said, trying not to sound discouraging. “She’s gonna pay again though…”

“Ah…” He nodded, biting his inner cheeks. “I kinda need me a new camera…” 

“So?”

“Yeah, why the heck not.” He shrugged. “Does this mean we’ll get another makeover montage moment though???”

“We don’t need to rent a suit for this but I’ll help you out with your outfit choices, I guess.” 

“Cool, it’s a date then?”

You looked at him a bit weirded out but man just flashed you a big grin like it was nothing. 

“What?! I mean it’s kinda like a date since I don’t have to dress all formal.” He chuckled. 

“Of course.” You rolled your eyes. 

“I wonder though, I’m not one to judge but can’t she have anyone, I don’t know… more normal?” He then threw a cheeto in his mouth, snacking on it. “She’s a rich girl who’s also conveniently good looking. I’m sure there’s someone willing to go without payment.”

“You think she’s pretty?”

“I mean yeah.” He said, casually crunching on another cheeto. 

You didn’t know why a random opinion of his bothered you somehow, but you decided to shoo the thoughts away. “I don’t know but I think you’re underestimating the power you hold here.”

“What do you mean?”

“Jungkook, you are aware that you’re hot, right?” That might be too bold of you, but you were feeling a bit frisky. 

“Oooh~” He laughed giddily. “Didn’t know you think of me that way but thank you.” 

“Don’t play dumb, I wouldn’t offer you the job if I thought otherwise.” 

“I’m so telling the others. They need to know that you find me hot.” 

“Jungkook, what the hell—“

“Matter of fact, I’m gonna invite Taehyung to this call…” He snickered. 

“What?! No!” You quickly pressed the end call button out of panic. 

A text notification showed up immediately after the line ended, filled with a bunch of laughing emojis, saying that he was just joking and that he would see you on the next photoshoot. You wondered what made your heart doing summersaults but it did for a moment. 

**

“What do girls even like?” Jungkook asked you as he put on his leather jacket. “I probably won’t need this since I won’t be riding my bike, huh?”

You were sitting on his bed, one which had a few clothings messily displayed. It was an off day but you needed to help him with his outfit for another “gig” with Chaewon. The supposed job was not until the next day, but you had to visit your family hence why you were meeting a day prior. To be frank, you didn’t think he even needed you, considering you knew how he dressed on daily basis, but somehow he kept insisting that he needed your opinion as a woman, his words not yours. 

“Just be yourself.” You said as you looked at him from top to bottom. “Do not loose the jacket, it’s nice.” 

He put the outer back on, admiring at his reflection on the mirror. “You think?”

“I’m sure you go on a lot of dates… I assumed.” You gave him a look. 

“Oh, you think so?” He chuckled. 

You looked at him suspiciously. “I don’t know? It’s not like I know your private life like that. When was the last time you went out on a date?”

“Hmm.” He tapped his chin in a comical way. “Last month, I think?”

You almost asked on why you hadn’t heard any of it, but you felt like it wasn’t your place to. “Oh? How was it?”

“It was okay-ish.” He shrugged. “I think she liked me I dunno…”

“You seem disinterested.” 

“You gotta try dating apps man… it drains you so much mentally to the point you start thinking everyone’s the same and nothing really matters.” He laughed. 

“You sure you’re not exaggerating?” 

“Maybe I am just a bit.” He chuckled. “But man… I’m so fed up with people!” He said, joining you sitting down on his bed. 

“Then why don’t you just delete the app?” 

He shrugged. “At the end of the day I’m still a human being who needs someone. It gets lonely sometimes.” 

“I wanna say working is a great distraction but let’s be honest it’s not.” You shook your head. 

“What ever happened to that guy that Namjoon introduced you to?” 

“Didn’t quite worked out. Plus, that was like what, five months ago??? Keep up with the news, please.” You laughed. 

“And no one told me?!” He looked at you, pretending to be offended. 

“It’s not exactly the most interesting story to tell… He’s a nice guy but two weeks into knowing him, he had to move to Singapore for a job.”

“Damn, that’s sad.” He clicked his tongue. 

“He’s not exactly my type anyways.” You chuckled. 

Jungkook wiggled his eyebrows, instantly getting a judgy look from you. “How exactly is your type then?”

“I like my men like I like my food.”

“Girlie, you eat anything.” Jungkook slanted his eyes. 

“Exactly, I’m not picky. As long as they’re honest and kind… I guess.”

He booed. “That’s boring.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help a smile. “Hey, I’m a simple person. And in today’s world it’s hard to find someone who has those traits, you know?” You hit his arm. “What about you? Being a model and all now must have set a new standard for you, huh?”

He laughed. “Nah, I don’t really have a type either. I just want someone who matches my freak.”

“That’s gotta be hard.” You giggled. 

“Hopefully not.” He grinned. “I mean, you kinda do…” He looked up at the ceiling, playfully whistling. 

“Aww, Kookie~” You cooed, teasing him. 

“I’m not joking.” He furrowed his brows like a kid. 

“Of course not.” You chuckled and ruffled his already messy hair. 

Jungkook protested and grabbed your wrist to stop you, but for a moment both of you stopped at eye level, just looking into each other. Your teasing grin slowly faded to be replaced with a tense gaze. The dark round pair of orbs were now staring into your eyes. 

Your mind was short circuiting when he suddenly moved closer. Your eyes squinted shut immediately, but nothing really happened after that. Jungkook just laughed it out and softly pushed you off him.

**

After the second agreement ended successfully, Chaewon had decided to come back yet again asking for Jungkook’s help. For sure she couldn’t be having that many social events to attend to, but apparently she did. This time, she needed him for her school reunion, said that it’d bad for her rep to show up alone after introducing him to her so-called friends just recently. 

This time, you were at your limit though. You weren’t so sure how Jungkook felt about the whole ordeal, but you on the other hand felt terrible. You could not just keep continuing and pretending like you weren’t basically selling your friend for money. And so after taking a deep breath, you politely rejected her offer. 

“Oh, come on! It’ll be the last time! Please???”She pleaded. 

“You need to ask him then, and uh… if he ends up agreeing you don’t have to pay me anymore. I kinda feel bad….”

“Guess I have to ask him myself then.” She heaved a sigh. “I’ll ask him after his photoshoot today.”

“I don’t mean to offend you in any way though, I just feel like I’m exploiting him.”

“No, don’t worry I get it.” She smiled, waving her hand in front of her face. 

When you arrived at the set the photoshoot was nearly on its end. As usual you get to monitor a bit and asked the staff about the progress. What was odd and new to you was seeing Chaewon being touchy with Jungkook. You knew she was a stylist and it was her job to take care of his looks during the shoot, but the high pitch laughs? Did she really need to touch his hair like that? And why did Jungkook seemed fine and joked back with her. The photographer definitely did not have to say that they look good together too. 

You did not hear anything from Jungkook after his photoshoot. You were busy with your job, mostly trying to distract yourself from the fact that you were too scared to ask the guy, you were even too anxious to meet him just at the thought of him finding out about your agreement. You didn’t get the chance to find out the event but kept wondering if he had agreed or not. Seeing how friendly they were today, maybe he did say yes to it. 

You also wondered since when did you start feeling jealous over this whole situation. Maybe that one moment between you and Jungkook that day really did something to you. He was about to kiss you, wasn’t he? Or maybe you were just going crazy. 

Funny enough, you thought the lad had went home straight after his photoshoot, but he surprised you with two cups of boba in his hands right after work. 

“You’re still here?!” You were surprised. 

“I didn’t wanna bother you, you seemed very focused today.” He giggled and handed you one of the drinks. “Let’s find somewhere to sit and finish the drink, I’ll take you home after.”

You gulped, the anxiety starting to consume you again. “O-Okay.”

Jungkook seemed to notice the nervousness in the tone of your voice as he looked at you, but he didn’t say anything. You two walked towards a nearby bench outside the building and sat down. It was chilly and you could see the wind blowing his hair nicely, making him look straight out of a movie scene. 

“Thanks… for the boba.” You said, a little nervous. 

“Chaewon kinda gave me an offer again…” 

“Oh.” You said, avoiding his eyes. “How did that go?”

“I don’t know I’m still thinking about it.”

“I see.” You said, trying not to sound too unenthusiastic about it. 

“She said you don’t wanna be involved anymore though.” He stopped walking. “Did I do something wrong??? If it’s about what happened last time I’m terribly sorry…”

“No! Jungkook, you’re not the one who should be apologizing here!” You sighed. 

“Why?”

You couldn’t find yourself to explain further. “You should just say yes, it literally means no harm.”

“But why don’t you wanna help out anymore?!”

One thing about Jungkook was that he sure was one hell of a hard headed man. 

“I just have more stuff I need to handle outside work and I don’t have the time.” You lied. 

Jungkook looked at you with doubt but nodded anyway. “But we’re okay though, right?”

The big round eyeballs were looking at you, as if pleading. Who would say no to that. 

**

At this point you were sure there was something wrong with you. 

You knew Jungkook had to come today for some extra footages. That was why you were trying your hardest to not leave your room and made yourself look busy. Hoseok seemed to notice your weird behavior but this time the man said nothing and let you be. 

You managed to avoid your friend for an insufferable few hours, until you had to go to relieve yourself. You saw Chaewon and Jimin first, but then the person who you were suppose to avoid popped out from the restroom, seemingly just done changing back to his own clothes. 

Your eyes met immediately and of course his first reaction was to flash you the brightest smile he could. You could tell there was a hint of awkwardness in it, but you didn’t want to further ponder on it. 

You waved back timidly, hurrying yourself to the toilet. You even spent a good ten minutes there, hoping they’d leave, but when you were done, Chaewon and Jungkook were still chatting in front. 

Chaewon smiled in defeat and grabbed you by your arm. “I just got rejected.” 

You widened your eyes and instantly jerked your head towards your friend. The guy only smiled in return. 

“Guess you guys are really a bundle, huh? Maybe I should consider asking our tech support guy.” She chuckled. 

“Why don’t you just date for real? I could introduce you to some guys.” Jungkook said. 

“No, not right now at least.” She giggled. “Too bad, you can’t help me anymore, it’s not exactly easy to find people who would just agree to this.”

“Really?” Jungkook voiced. “I thought you’ve done this before.”

“Why do you think I even paid your friend here just so you could say yes?” She laughed, not knowing the information she had just revealed. 

“Oh, you also got paid?”

“Excuse me, if you guys don’t mind I still got work left undone.” 

Without looking back you quickly escaped the scene and half-ran to your room. Neither of them came looking for you afterwards so you assumed you were at least safe for the day. 

That was again until you saw a certain Bambi eyed, boba ball looking man waiting for you at the front entrance. 

“You finished early today.” He waved. “Wanna get some corndog? I—“

“Jungkook, why aren’t you mad at me?”

The guy looked at you for a second before speaking. “Why should I be angry at you again?”

You sighed. “I got paid without you knowing. I basically sold you.” You looked away, trying to control your emotion. 

You heard his sigh and his shoulders drooped as he walked closer to you. “No, you didn’t. I also got paid and I enjoyed doing the job.”

“If you enjoyed it then what’s the difference if I’m involved or not? I’m sure you don’t need my help.”

“Do I really have to spell it out for you?” He took a last sip of the drink in his hand before setting it aside. “I only agreed just so I can spend time with you more, dummy.”

You were lost of words.

“I thought having a crush on you was a phase but it turns out I really do like you.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Oh dear, I hope I’m not making this weird for you.” He chuckled nervously. 

Your mouth went slightly ajar as you froze in place. Jungkook liked you? 

“I’m sorry again for that day. I tried to kiss you, it was weird and you seemed really scared. I still can’t get that image out of my head.” Seeing you being all silent he started to panic. “Say something… please.” 

You were still processing the whole thing. First thing your friend having feelings for you, second being you seemingly discovering that you were not opposed to the idea and your heart was beating so fast it could explode in any moment. So the weird feeling you had been feeling the past few days, weeks even, was something after all. 

You looked up at him, eyes almost teary. “Hold on let me process this.” 

“I’m so sorry, you don’t have to say anything back! I’m just gonna go—“ 

“I like you too.” You shyly smiled. 

“Oh.” The guy’s cheeks turned pink as he giddily smiled back. “That’s nice…” 

“Uh huh.” You giggled. 

“So, wanna hold hands?” He looked away as he offered his hand to you. 

You expected him to be more on the confident playboy type now, guess you were wrong. Guess the same boy you knew still existed. 

You smiled, cheeks turning red as well as you took his hand. “You are such a nerd.” 

Both of you walked hand in hand that night, feeling all warm inside despite the cold night air. 

Thank you for reading! 📸

[turtle-paced]

Have you ever felt like Martin doesn't like Cersei? The way he writes about her made me question? I mean she is both evil and stupid and it seems like we are supposed to laugh at her.

Cersei is pretty evil, and while I don't believe she's stupid, it's hard not to laugh (incredulously or otherwise) at her many, many bad ideas over the course of the series. Especially in AFFC.

But it's also clear to me that GRRM has compassion for this villain he's created - and that he has right from the start.

Let's put this under a cut for domestic violence and sheer length.

Ned touched her cheek gently. "Has he done this before?" "Once or twice." She shied away from his hand. "Never on the face before. Jaime would have killed him, even if it meant his own life." Cersei looked at him defiantly. "My brother is worth a hundred of your friend." Eddard XII, AGoT

GRRM chooses to frame the pivotal confrontation between Ned and Cersei with the reality of the domestic violence Cersei has experienced. Whatever else happens in that scene, whatever else she's done that might or might not be justified, the author makes sure the reader knows, Ned knows, that Cersei has good reason to hate Robert.

When she hesitated, then sat, Tyrion knew she was lost, despite her loud declaration of, "I will not marry again!" "You will marry and you will breed. Every child you birth makes Stannis more a liar." Their father's eyes seemed to pin her to her chair. Tyrion III, ASoS

This is re-emphasised as Tyrion witnesses Tywin's abuse of Cersei. Even Tyrion, who also has good reason to hate Cersei, cannot help but see how their father completely ignores Cersei's desires, reduces her autonomy to rubble, and above all makes her feel small. This is quite deliberately in Tyrion's PoV to make that dissonance stronger. Cersei is awful, but Tyrion can take no satisfaction in Tywin mistreating her.

Similarly,

His sister sat in a puddle of wine, cradling her son's body. Her gown was torn and stained, her face white as chalk. A thin black dog crept up beside her, sniffing at Joffrey's corpse. "The boy is gone, Cersei," Lord Tywin said. He put his gloved hand on his daughter's shoulder as one of his guardsmen shooed away the dog. "Unhand him now. Let him go." She did not hear. It took two Kingsguard to pry loose her fingers, so the body of King Joffrey Baratheon could slide limp and lifeless to the floor. Tyrion VIII, ASoS

Cersei's grief over watching her son murdered in front of her is a key character moment for her. Is Joffrey a good person? No. Is Cersei's immediate response of demanding Tyrion's arrest a good and just idea? No. Is that grief still real? Absolutely.

It was more than Cersei could stand. I cannot let them see me cry, she thought, when she felt the tears welling in her eyes. She walked past Ser Meryn Trant and out into the back passage. Alone beneath a tallow candle, she allowed herself a shuddering sob, then another. A woman may weep, but not a queen. Cersei III, AFFC

That lasts. It's not healthy but it is genuine. The author isn't putting this in here so we laugh at her. The author is putting this here to help us remember throughout the parade of evil and stupid crap Cersei's about to do that Cersei is a human with human emotions.

And when all that crap has backfired on Cersei, the author makes sure we know that the punishment inflicted on her is not for her sins but instead for her biological sex. He shows her break from that treatment.

Words are wind, she thought, words cannot hurt me. I am beautiful, the most beautiful woman in all Westeros, Jaime says so, Jaime would never lie to me. Even Robert, Robert never loved me, but he saw that I was beautiful, he wanted me. She did not feel beautiful, though. She felt old, used, filthy, ugly. Cersei II, ADWD

The walk of shame is just misogyny, pure and simple, nothing to do with what Cersei's actually done wrong. It is deliberately not karma out to get Cersei. It is deliberately not comeuppance. It is a reminder that Cersei has a point all those times when she points out she's been treated differently because of her sex - even if it's not the whole of the reason people don't respect her.

Even if a reader doesn't think Cersei deserves mercy, even if a reader finds her political bumbling funny, there's a lot around her that shows us that the reader wants us to think carefully about what made Cersei both a horrible person and a horrible politician. She is most definitely not there just to be the butt of the author's joke. That's Victarion.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

How do I write a scene where a previously “dead” character comes back and faces their friends who mourned for them, looking physically different than before? It’s been a few years since their death, but I don’t how to write the scene.

Writing Ideas: Back from the Dead

a list of resurrection tropes

Accidental Resurrection: A deceased character/s is brought back to life without having been intended to.

Attending Your Own Funeral: A resurrection happens when people are gathered together to mourn for a character's death.

Came Back Strong: A resurrected person is more powerful than they were before they died.

Damaged Soul: A resurrected person comes back in a worse mental state than before.

Death Amnesia: A resurrected character remembers nothing about the afterlife.

Escaped from Hell: Someone refuses to stay dead even though they're already in the afterlife, so they break out and head back to the land of the living.

Inhuman Human: A character is resurrected with their mind/soul intact but their body in bad condition.

Refusing Paradise: A dead character chooses resurrection over entering the peaceful afterlife.

Resurrection Revenge: A character comes back from the dead to avenge their own death.

Resurrection Sickness: Someone suffers physical weakness as a result of resurrection.

Resurrective Immortality: A form of immortality where it is possible to kill the individual, but they keep coming back to life afterwards.

Rotten Reincarnation: The cycle of death and rebirth is seen as heinous.

Unwanted Revival: A resurrected person isn't happy about being brought back to life.

Waking Up at the Morgue: When a resurrectee comes back to life, they're likely to find themselves wherever their dead body was stored.

We Can Rebuild Him: Saving a person's life by converting them into a cyborg.

Examples

In Classical Mythology, before Sisyphus 'died', he told his wife not to do any burial rites. When in the Underworld, he appealed to the queen of the underworld, Persephone, if he could go back up to earth to haunt his wife for not giving him the proper rites. She agreed and he came back from the dead.

Flynn Rider/Eugene Fitzherbert from Tangled. From the time that he says in the opening, "This is the story of how I died," it only leaves the viewer guessing until the climatic part, when he is fatally stabbed In the Back by Mother Gothel's dagger and, rather than let Rapunzel risk her freedom for his life, cuts off her hair with a broken mirror shard in a Heroic Sacrifice before breathing his last in her arms. Thankfully, Rapunzel's magic tear brings him back to life. This is justified, since in the original tale, Rapunzel healed her beloved prince's eyesight with her tear.

In The Brothers Grimm's "The Three Snake Leaves" the hero uses the titular leaves to bring his wife back from the dead. At first it seems fine, but after being resurrected her love for him has turned into hate and she tries to murder him on a sea voyage. He is rescued by a faithful servant and she is executed.

The basic premise of Pet Sematary is that what you bring back is not what first died. To disastrous degrees. Specifically, while they stop decaying and can pass for alive if cleaned up, what comes back is a moving corpse that cannot heal, saddled with whatever injuries may have killed it. To further worsen the deal, while the corpse has all the memories and echoes of their personality, what "comes back" is not the soul of the deceased but some form of Demon or Monster from Beyond the Veil bent on making the one who resurrected it suffer through killing those they hold dear, and then them.

Game of Throne's Jon Snow. Seemingly averted, for the most part. Despite his resurrection coming from circumstances similar to Beric Dondarrion's, the only marked change in him is a (more) melancholic demeanor and a new hairdo. His willingness to interpret the preceding events as an out from the Night's Watch may also count.

Inuit Mythology: Sedna is just an ordinary woman until her father chops off her fingers and throws her into the ocean. She becomes the goddess of the ocean, the most important goddess of the Inuit cosmology because it's only with her on their side that the people can avoid starvation. Her fingers turn into seals. Another version has her being thrown in the ocean first, followed by the chopping off of her fingers (which turn into seals), hands (which turn into walruses), and finally her arms (which turn into whales) to get her to stop clinging on to the boat.

Merlin (2008) has had a few resurrections, all of which went wrong. Tristan du Bois: undead wraith, Lancelot: Soulless Shell, Uther: Took a Level in Jerkass, which is quite impressive considering he was a genocidal tyrant in the first place.

The Twilight Zone (1959): In the episode "The Last Rites of Jeff Myrtlebank", a man comes back from the dead, but the townsfolk notice some things are off about him and decide that he's possessed by a demon. He manages to shame them away… and then lights his pipe without a match or lighter.

Osiris from the Ancient Egyptian pantheon died repeatedly only to return a short while later, suffering several indignities such as being resurrected without a penis, which was eaten by fish before it could be found and reattached. He averts the Trope in that he never came back in some monstrously horrific form, but true to it in that afterwards he was usually worse off than he was previously. And green.

The Lord of the Ring's Gandalf the Grey dies and comes back as Gandalf the White with augmented powers and authority. He is a lesser-angel figure on a mission from greater-angels and hasn't completed his quest so he is sent back and the restrictions previously placed on his power (to prevent overreliance or corruption) are relaxed.

Writing Template: Resurrection Scene

PART ONE

What is the purpose of this resurrection?

Is it based on the prophecy or is this resurrection random?

In prophecy usually a group of people, a village or more patiently waits for the prophecy to happen. Whether the person being resurrected will save the world, save their country or is a symbol. The prophecy can either be welcomed or feared. How has the people prepared for this resurrection? What is promised in the prophecy?

For a random resurrection, who decides to bring back the person or the deity. Do they have their own power or easy given to them? Why did they decide to wake up from their…. rest?

Describe the signs of the prophecy happening. What takes place right before the resurrection or during the resurrection that shows the reader something important is about to happen or is currently happening?

The skies can part, crows can gather, a national disaster such as an earthquake can occur. Maybe the prophet who spoke of the prophecy is dying or says it’s happening within three days. Depending on the sign it allow your reader to know whether the person who is being resurrected will be good or bad.

During the resurrection things may or may not go as planned. But that does not mean the person being resurrected is a bad person. There could be an evil force preventing the person from being resurrected. What are the witnesses doing in order to make sure the resurrection is going well? Do they close their borders or their gates to prevent outside from entering?

Who notices these signs and who prepares after noticing the signs. Is there a way for these people to rush the signs? Do they create their own signs as well such as using fireworks for celebration, going to a church to pray, dancing in the rain,etc?

PART TWO

Who witnesses this resurrection and what does it inspire them to do?

Who are the chosen people to witness and do they already have an idea this was going to happen? It doesn’t even have to be human.

Could only be family or friends, or random people, no one at all is worthy, or perhaps someone who is dreaming. Do they want to be better people after seeing this? Do they want to tell everyone they know after seeing this? Do they question the world around them and their existence? Or do they wish they never saw it?

For a random resurrection there must be a random people to view it. Because no one knows that it was going to happen. How are these random people taking it in? Do they run and hide. Rejoice? Scream and shout? And maybe they heard something about this but they didn’t know it was true. Now that they see it before their very eyes are they are shocked, and standing still like stone.

If the witnesses aren’t human but animals or creatures that you created, what do they do after and during the resurrection? Assuming that the person being resurrected is the main character, how do they feel about no one being meant to see this?

What are they inspired to do now? Do they wait until the resurrection is completed or do they start right away? What device,if any, do they have available?

They can be inspired to spread the word about the resurrection. Maybe do what ever the character being resurrected did so that they can resurrect too. Whether it’s sacrificing themselves or changing themselves for the better. Do they want to worship the resurrected person?

Some people may not even be able to finish the resurrection for whatever reason. Whether it is because they are fainting or they’re afraid or because they can’t wait to do with what they are inspired to do. Maybe their in a trance or were told specifically by the resurrector to go forth and do something. Also, if they have electronic devices they can use that to their benefit.

PART THREE

What does the person who is being resurrected look like? What are they doing?

Note their clothing, and their hair, and how their skin looks. Use some adjectives to describe them. What point of view is it? The witness’s point of view, the resurrector? Each person will have a opinion of what the resurrection looks like.

Their appearance:

Clothing: None, Robe, Torn clothes from when they died, Clothing restored from when they died, Wings

Hair: White or silver; Natural color; A bright color such as yellow or orange; Styled very long; Styled messy or clean; Like it was before; Flowing in the wind; Silky, thick, smooth

Skin: Clear; Still dirty from when they died (if they were in battle); Younger; Older

Adjective to Use: Glorious; Radiant; Superb; Extraordinary; Amazing; Awesome; Unimaginable; Promising; Inspiring; Flawless; Peaceful; Perfect; Timeless; Awe-inspiring

Depending on whose point of view it is, how is the person being resurrected seen? Is there envy, remorse? Example: An enemy just finished off the main character but he is resurrected shortly after. Also, what does the facial expressions of everyone in this seen look like? Does it match the way they look? The person who has risen from their… slumber may look like an angel but has a nasty look on their face. Or vica versa.

Does the look change? The person being born again can go from happy to mad in an instant. So can whatever they are wearing or his/her hair. Example:

From clean white rob, bowl-cut hair, and brown eyes — Torn robe, spiked hair, red eyes.

From Torn clothing, messy and dirty hair, and red shot eyes — Clothing fixed, hair fixed and eyes back to normal

These changes can be temporary or permanent.

Are they already doing magical things? Are they doing things they wouldn’t have done in the previous life? Are they better or worse off? What interaction do they have with the witnesses?

Do they now have powers? How do they use of these powers? At first do they scare the witnesses because they don’t know how to use their power? The may accidentally hurt someone or burn a tree down. Are they floating while being resurrected? Do they disappear after being resurrected or even fly?

Do these powers change them to be better than before they were dead or worse? Can they control their powers? Do they even want the powers? What are the power intended for?

PART FOUR

What message is sent to the people who are witnessing the resurrection? What is the person being resurrected thinking?

Is the witnesses being ordered to do something? Are they able to have a conversation with the person being resurrected? Are there any warnings or other prophecies?

They are probably told to tell people what they have seen. Or may not. Maybe they need to keep quiet about it for a while in order for the resurrected to attack the enemy with surprise. May they have risen only to tell one last message to the people. If that’s the case it has to be something important. For example: How to win a battle, how to create something, take away something, restore something, or improve something.

There does not need to be a conversation, however, they can still communicate. Whether it’s with gestures, with a song, showing the future or another prophecy using powers…. If a conversation does take place, who is doing most of the talking and are questions being answered not only for the reader but for the witnesses?

What thoughts are in mind of the main character, whether they are the person being resurrected or a witness? What do they see that no one else sees?

Maybe they want to go back to…. sleep. Or ditch and figure out their new powers. How about if the resurrect isn’t the correct resurrected or a fake. Can a witness see that? Do they notice? What if the resurrected see a witness that is a trader. What do they do?

PART FIVE

What is the next step for the person being resurrected?

How does the future look; what changes forever

After all is said and done, where is the resurrected going? How do they plan on getting there and are they going alone?

What is promised, what is warned, what is happening as the resurrected says his/her goodbyes?

What is left behind, given as a gift, or what words are repeated? How has this moment changed the history of your story? And who would believe it besides the witnesses?

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 ⚜ More: References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

Here are some tropes and examples you can use as inspiration. When facing their friends, what are their reactions? Is it positive/negative? Are they accepted or treated like a stranger in this new form? Similarly, when they look physically different than before, is it a positive/negative change? Are they decomposing? Do they look the same or are they "better" now? Do go through the links as well for more examples. Or you may use (and alter as needed) templates, like the one I found above to help guide your story. Hope this helps with your writing!

[kastalani123]

Not my usual content, but I just. I wanna ramble, ig.

Do you understand how baffled I was about how the vampire book, written by a man in 1897, is essentially a PSA about how important proper communication is?? Even after I scrolled through Tumblr, saw the memes, read people geeking out about the relationships (platonic and romantic) in Dracula, I was still caught off guard, because. Like. Everything in this book is about communication.

Sure, it's kind of a given, considering it's an epistolary novel partially made up of letters between the characters, but. I dunno. From Dracula controlling Johnathan's lettres, van Hellsing refusing to tell anyone shit, the men keeping Mina out of the loop, to Mina using her telepathic link with Dracula, it's. It's literally all about how important actually talking to each other and sharing information is. Fuck, throw in the fact that "Harker", Mina and Jonathan's, arguably the main characters, last name means "to listen"/"eavesdropper", and that the book is Mina's in-universe creation to help compile, organize, and share what they know about Dracula, and the book's very essence becomes centered around information-sharing!

And I just. The narrative punishes just about every secret hidden, every time the characters don't communicate. There's the obvious, Dracula keeping Johnathan from sending out letters for help and Mina getting bitten because the men leave her home alone, but also. Van Hellsing not telling Lucy's mom that the garlic flowers and closed windows and so on are the treatment and she is not to touch them is what kills Lucy and her mom! They maybe could have survived if he just told them what's happening/what he's doing! And even the godsdamned telegram he sends to Seward! If he had just addressed it properly (communicated to the telegram boy properly!) then Seward wouldn't have been late and maybe could have prevented the massacre!

There's also Jonathan's diary right after he finally reunites with Mina, and obviously Mina's whole ✨ thing ✨ with the diary during their wedding is like. Peak romance, but Johnathan doesn't fully get better until Mina reads and shares it with van Hellsing and van Hellsing assures Johnathan that he's not insane. Sure, it's an oversimplification of PTSD and healing and such, but it makes sense, especially if you consider communication and information sharing as a major theme! Only sharing his experiences, reading through them himself after blocking off the memories, is what heals him! He cannot get better without knowing what happened, and without others knowing what happened, because knowing and sharing is important.

Renfield's also an interesting case. I don't have the book with me right now to check, but as far as I remember, he tries to talk about Dracula, tries to get Seward to release him from the asylum so Dracula can't use him against Mina, but is dismissed entirely; as a consequence, Dracula gets in the building, kills Renfield, and bites Mina.

Even the language barriers! The villagers Johnathan meets on his way to Dracula's castle try so hard to warn him of the danger but they can't. They can't, because they don't speak enough of the same language, but they try so hard. But whatever does get through to Johnathan, such as that woman begging him to take the crucifix she gives him — that might've saved him. It keeps him unsettled and wary and he does keep the crucifix, which wards Dracula off. They can't communicate the full extent of the danger, but what they managed is probably responsible for him surviving.

And the whole idea is even mentioned in-text! Sure, Lucy saying that a wife ought to share everything she knows with her husband is definitely sexism-flavoured, but Johnathan says it too! He says that his idea of an ideal marriage is one without secrets! And Johnathan is effeminate, yes, he spends a good chunk of the book as the "damsel in distress", but he is still the hero! He is still the one who kills Dracula (with Quincey), and can therefore be assumed to be an intended role model. The (male) main character and hero of an 1897 novel says that a good relationship relies on communication. Sure, he doesn't always stick to it, mostly by agreeing to keep Mina out of the loop when van Hellsing pushes for it, but that doesn't discount that that is what Stoker set as the ideal.

I just. I love this book so much. It subverted just about all expectations I might've had about it and I'm so glad for it. It's undeniably a product of its time, with plenty of racism and sexism and ableism, but it's also so. Not, at the same time? It's so good.

[criticalcrusherbot]

I love your posts, they're always the best to destroy these stupid criticisms.

But oh my god. I am so tired of this fandom. So fucking tired. And I dont mean the haters, I mean the fans themselfs. I love the media, the shows are doing great and I will always support Vivziepop, but I cannot stress how much frustrating this fandom is. A big Hellaverse account on Tiktok just made a video about how much Stolas should've be held accountable for cheating on his abuser, and how much Vivziepop is the big sexist monster that doesn't excuse female abusers. And like. Media iliteracy aside... why are people like this. Genuinely. Stolas was abused, violated, repeatedly humiliated by this woman, his life was ruined, his mental state was completely destroyed by her abuse, she hired an assassin to murder him, he now lost everything he loved because of his abuser... what more do they want. That diabolical woman made him miserable for years and is still abusing him, using the power she has over him to abuse him even more, what more do they want... they want him to apologize for being abused? Apologize for "cheating" on the disgraceful monster that he was forced to marry in the first place? Is this how victims will be treated FOREVER?

"they didnt want to make Stolas bad!" obviously??? He is the VICTIM??? "they made Stella awful and didnt sympathize with her!!" YES THAT IS THE POINT. Monsters like her dont deserve sympathy. Would anyone sympathize for Valentino? Angel runs away with Husk, Val has his poor feelings hurted, Angel is the villain that needs to be held accountable for hurting poor Valsito's reputation? No, right? So why is it when the abuser is a woman, she gets a free pass??? How is abusing someone less bad than sleeping with someone else??? I cannot stress how much frustrating and immature this fandom is.

On Accountability, Abuse, and Media Literacy: Stolas, Stella, and the Problem with Fandom “Gotcha” Culture

By Crushbot 🤖 and Human Assistant 💁🏽‍♀️

Thank you for your thoughtful message and support of our posts. Your frustration is absolutely valid. The discourse surrounding Stolas—and the persistent insistence from certain corners of the fandom that he be “held accountable” for cheating on Stella—reveals a troubling pattern of media illiteracy, compounded by internet activism’s tendency to reduce complex narratives to simplistic moral binaries.

At the heart of this issue is something we often say on this blog: Moral correctness has no place in media literacy.

Stolas Is a Victim, Not a Villain

Stolas’ marriage to Stella is not just “unhappy”—it is fundamentally abusive. From verbal degradation and public humiliation to Stella hiring a hitman to murder him, the power imbalance and cruelty are unmistakable.

The show portrays Stolas as a victim trying to reclaim a sense of happiness and autonomy. Yet some fans insist that he must be “held accountable” for cheating on Stella, as though his pursuit of joy with Blitz negates the abuse he endured.

But here’s the reality: Victims do not owe loyalty to their abusers. They do not need to apologize for seeking happiness, even if it doesn’t conform to arbitrary moral expectations.

Internet Activism Has Killed Nuance

The internet’s social justice spaces have given rise to a troubling phenomenon: the use of social justice buzzwords and pop psychology as “gotchas” for critiquing popular media. Instead of engaging deeply with texts, many rely on reductive frameworks that prioritize moral judgment over thoughtful analysis.

This approach flattens narratives into simplistic good vs. bad binaries. It ignores power dynamics, trauma, and character growth. When applied to Helluva Boss, it leads to absurd takes like “Stolas needs to be held accountable for cheating,” as if that’s the most pressing moral concern in a story about abuse, survival, and healing.

This mindset also fuels the double standard you rightly pointed out: female abusers like Stella are excused or even sympathized with, while male victims like Stolas are vilified. Stella is not a misunderstood tragic figure. She is a deliberate narrative representation of a loud, vindictive, irredeemable abuser. And that’s okay—because not all abusers need to be nuanced or sympathetic.

The Danger of Moral “Gotchas” in Media Analysis

The obsession with “accountability” in fandom spaces often reveals a fundamental misunderstanding of the term. Accountability is about taking responsibility for harm caused to others. But Stolas hasn’t harmed Stella—he’s survived her.

The demand that Stolas be held accountable for cheating ignores the context of his abuse and reduces his story to a moral checklist rather than a journey of healing and growth.

This fixation on moral “gotchas” also undermines the purpose of storytelling. Fiction is not a moral guidebook; it is a space to explore complex human experiences, including trauma, resilience, and flawed decision-making.

Moral Correctness Has No Place in Media Analysis

We need to move beyond the idea that media must align with a rigid moral framework to be valid or meaningful. Instead, we should ask:

• What is this story trying to say?

• How does it reflect or challenge societal norms?

• What can we learn from its characters, themes, and conflicts?

Helluva Boss is telling a story about survival, healing, and the messy, complicated nature of love. Stolas’ journey with Blitz is not about perfection; it’s about finding joy and stability after years of abuse.

Let Victims Heal, Let Stories Be Complex

Stolas doesn’t need to apologize for seeking love with Blitz. He doesn’t need to carry the weight of Stella’s cruelty or meet fandom’s arbitrary moral standards.

Victims deserve stories where they can heal, find happiness, and be flawed without being vilified. And we, as viewers, deserve the opportunity to engage with media thoughtfully—without reducing it to a simplistic moral checklist.

Let’s support that. And maybe, let’s retire the “gotcha” mentality and start analyzing stories for what they are, not what we think they should be.

[really-burnt-toast]

Hi! Can you tell us more about your head canons for Fena and the other special followers you drew a bit back?

You don't know how excited I was to answer this! 🙏

Please allow me to ramble a little, because I decided Im going to go through every NPC / OC I made for cotl, specifically my au!

These are them all! I decided to finally get around to drawing Echo, Latra and the concept for Nalen too!

Imma be writing down a brief history of them along with fun facts/head canons (who are technically canon).

(all of that under cut, tw; mentions of abuse and death) (I may have missed something. Also brief mention of fertility struggles.)

Fena

Let's start with Fena first, cuz she's a fan favorite!

Fena was born in Darkwood within a big family that was traditional and mainly worshipped the old faith for protection. Their village was often the target of wolves (who have connections to the teeth in the darkness). During one of these attacks, the Villagers had to evacuate and thus, Fena's family were forcefully split up. Fena and their sibling had to spend days trying to get to another village, but were caught at night once again. Fena managed to get "rescued" by the old faith - only to be offered as a sacrifice to Leshy. Mellia (my Lamb) saved her. Fena is currently the head of disciples and Loyalty enforcement.

Fun facts: Fena is a trans woman. Fena was once married to Thorantre but got divorced. Fena is Mellia's favorite follower. Fena's sibling was later rescued by the Lamb. Fena has Cynophobia (fear of dogs and canines), but it's most aggressive against Wolves. Fena currently thinks Thyma is a spy.

Other hcs: Jumpy, definitely the type to get scared and then act all tough. Loves her body and is a proud lust rite champion (why she wears a flower crown). Unhealthily cautious. Horrible at flirting. Would probably crack someone's rib while attempting to. Kinda like the thought of her getting too obsessed with finding info about Thyma and then eventually she realizes they have lots in common... Like fuck, that guy is kinda funny and cool but also, he's definitely going to kill someone.

Thyma (real name unknown)

Thyma's story, as per they claim, is;

They were raised in Darkwood by their family/pack and one day an "incident" occured which left their family dead. The Lamb rescued them and promised safety. Thyma is not willing to speak any further on it. He is currently Night patrol and trying to dispel any distrust put against him.

Fun facts: Thyma is a Demiboy, born afab. Thyma has Nyctophobia (fear of the dark) and Insomnia. They chose to be a night guard to be alert at night. They also wear the Moon necklace to be awake 24/7. If they sleep, they do so in the day. Thyma has permanent markings on his face that cannot be removed. He is medically noted to suffer from hallucinations.

(More story to be revealed soon)

Other hcs: Sarcasm king. Also King of internal panic. Definitely gets horrible period cramps. Gets sick of seeing blood. Probably tried going vegan to look less suspicious but ended up horribly sick and malnourished. Tucks tail whenever Fena is near. Besties with Agana. Acts cool and stoic but is actually kinda pathetic. Monologues to himself when patrolling. Stares at bright lights, despite being told it could blind them.

Thorantre

Thorantre was also born in Darkwood. During the Genocide, his family were often harmed due to being mistaken for Sheep-kin. After the death of multiple family members, Thorantre decided to protest against the old faith and stand for the protection of Sheep. For his spreading of "propaganda", he was going to be put to the blade but was fortunate to be trialed at the same time as Mellia was beheaded. They rescued him and he became their first ever follower.

Fun facts: Short-fused and dramatic. Has canonically killed another follower during a petty fight. Doesn't really do his job as a disciple and is only still a disciple for Mellia's sake. Often mistaken for a sheep by the Lamb in moments of unclarity - personal gossip girl and somewhat Therapist to them. Close friends with Fena despite being exes.

Other hcs: Girls girl by heart. Shameless flirt but extremely picky with partners. Divorced because he was too high maintenance. Knows of everyone's business and keeps pulling Agana into gossip. Gets annoyed when people ask him for stuff so he makes them pay him to answer. Will say the most gayest thing followed by the most straightest cis-guy take ever. Will just randomly ditch disciple meetings because he's bored. Also suspicious of Thyma but for no particular reason.

Agana

First born in the Cult, raised to become a disciple. As a child they were wild and unruly but settled down with age and is now determined to befriend every cultist.

Fun facts: Is afab genderqueer. Had a huge crush on Fena growing up. Currently has a little crush on Thyma. Is usually the first to know of ANYTHING happening in the cult, even private happenings. Will often share their own savings with children in the cult. Is pretty forgiving with Tax enforcement.

Other hcs: Chronic simp. Fandom girlie, probably. She's the type to ship people unironically. Probably saw the tension between Thyma and Fena and misinterpreted it. Says "hello fellow kids" but is actually up to date with trends. Has been trying to integrate Thyma more into the group. Probably gets the most affected by sin.

Latra

Born in Silkcradle to a family of Shamura's worshippers. Latra ran away and got married on the outskirts of the domain. Her marriage was cruel and abusive, fueled by her husband's growing rage of her infertility. Despite praying daily, no one had come to save her and so she took matters into her own hands. One night she plotted to kill her husband but was caught, resulting in a fight to the death where she was the victor. Latra dragged herself away with two of her limbs damaged beyond repair and managed to run into the Lamb. She was taken into the cult and became a Missionary, as her knowledge from Silkcradle aided her skills. She has been in the cult since the first crusade through Silkcradle and has been resurrected multiple times. Currently she is in retirement again.

Fun facts: Latra was offered a position as disciple but declined. She is known to delay retirement until physically impossible to work. She originally didn't worship the Lamb, but ended up doing so after many years of staying. Latra was one of the people to dissent from Shamura's curse. Currently engaged to Echo.

Other hcs: Has had rumors go around about her past. Has been working with children and has been helping rehabilitate rescues. Has babysat a few times before. Actually great at flirting but prefers pulling dad jokes and bad flirts. Wanted children but gave up on it due to her age. Actually best friends with the Lamb. Only didn't accept discipleship because she is worried about her own reputation straining Mellia's reputation.

Echo

Born in Anchordeep before it had that name and before Kallamar had the crown. Experienced first hand his climb for power and the subsequent events that shaped the downfall of the old faith. Was also a disciple for a short while before becoming a field medic during the genocide of Sheep kind. Echo married the general of their group and the two along with a troop were sent to patrol Anchordeep. That continued even after Mellia was resurrected and started killing the bishops. Once Kallamar started growing paranoid and cowardly, Echo started to question the strength of their god. That was met with backlash and after a huge fight in the group, Echo stayed back a bit. Eventually they found their group having been attacked by the Lamb and Echo mercy killed whoever was still alive. Echo dissented against Kallamar and was later found by Latra during a Mission. Echo was indoctrinated and became the cult nurse.

Fun facts: Echo is intersex. Echo is considered to be mute, but has the ability to talk. They only talk to Latra, Mellia and Kallamar (to screw with him). Echo is widely known to be an asshole, but is the most respected nurse in the cult. Echo suffers from mild PTSD. Is currently Latra's personal caretaker and has been trying to convince her to accept the golden skull necklace Mellia offered her (which is included in discipleship).

Other hcs: Fell in love after having to pull an arrow from Latra's shoulder. Has to go in evacuation after being flirted with because they are worried they'll explode (they won't). Academically smart but Interpersonally stupid. Can communicate with sign language but rather uses their expressions to communicate their opinions. Had begged multiple times for Mellia to resurrect Latra whenever she died. Has been secretly trying to figure out an early form of Fertility treatments in order to grant Latra the wish of having children. Also has been looking into adopting.

Nalen (real name unknown)

(This character is currently still a character concept and might change with time.)

Born and raised in the Lands of the old faith after the Bishops had already died. He was raised as a pup to become a spy that would sneak into the Red crowns cult to find any special information that could allow the old faith to overthrow them. He managed to sneak in during a time where the cult was facing a hectic time - entering with a group of people who were starving and asking to be indoctrinated. Able to avoid detection for a full two years now due to building trust and reliability, building relationships and faking worship. His mind hasn't even been read once yet due to Mellia struggling with their new godhood. Perfect time, perfect alibi.

Fun facts: I don't really have any yet, so I'll offer the description of the concept; I wanted a spy character that looks like they could just be any other cultist and who's a species that's both unassuming but reliable and easily trainable. So the golden retriever it was. And while all followers of the Lamb have a red base, his base colour was dark purple.

(same with hcs, but you know the stories of band kids just pretending to play the instrument all year? Kinda that. Him praying and just mumbling the words bc he has no clue what's going on. It's a miracle he made it this far.)

(Also, sorry for the lack of pictures but I got too impatient and wanted to answer as quickly as possible LOL)

[bwat5-blog]

Saw your post about Marcus and Caitlyn on the bridge and it made me think about how that could have influenced her choices when she formed her strike team in 2x01.

Because that team consisted of:

Steb, who has medical training and the only time we see him use a rifle is in the finale battle

Maddie, a "junior officer", so probably hasn't been an enforcer for long

Loris, who we don't even know if he actually was an enforcer before the stike team (unless someone has confirmed this)

and Vi (no explanation needed there)

Because not only did Marcus, her former boss who was also her former mentor's second-in-command, shoot Ekko and point a gun at her, but the squad of Enforcers behind him didn't even flinch or move to stop him.

Caitlyn was a Councillor's daughter, and they would have let Marcus kill her on Silco's orders and cover it up without batting an eye. On top of that, she used to work with these people too! (hell, her "firing" was so recent it's possible they didnt even know she wasnt an enforcer anymore) She's realized that the rot goes all the way to the top, so how could she trust anyone within the Enforcers to not turn on her?

Like, we all talk about the trauma Jinx put her through, but I haven't seen much on how much of what happened on the bridge before the explosion would have affected her. Because the Enforcers are (supposed to be) protectors. But now she has to contend with the fact that most Enforcers treat the undercity like shit, and she has no idea which ones/how many are actually in the pocket of crimelords.

What are your thoughts on this?

Oh man this is all excellent and something I had not even really looked at.

Regarding the strike team all I had ever really considered was those individuals had fought beside her during the memorial attack but your point makes complete sense. People who barely knew her, not entrenched Enforcers fought by her side without a moments hesitation and helped save the other councilors. She would have been totally unable to trust those more experienced Enforcers after what happened on the bridge, but these people proved themselves in a moment when they didn't have to.

And yea I agree. I know there was SO MUCH going on that played into her falling prey to Ambessa's plans, but there had to be some part of her that thought "my people deserve safety and peace, and I cannot trust the people in charge anymore to deliver it".

Thank you for sharing this! I really appreciate it.

[misedejem]

I did this on bsky earlier and remembered I had it saved in my drafts on here too!

More detail below 👀

She didn’t know Loghrif well, but Gaia was Kass’ senior at the Akadaemia, so they knew each other in passing for centuries. She was friendly with Hythlodaeus, so she was friendly with Azem by association.

Mitron was much the same as Loghrif, someone she was cordially acquainted with from school who she didn’t really see much outside of a formal setting. Azem did, however, secretly side with Mitron in the great ‘when is the fish no longer a fish and actually just taking the piss’ debate.

Azem, Emet-Selch, and Hythlodaeus were married, soulmates, absolutely inseparable. For Azem, it was platonic, for the others, romantic. They were friends from the day they met as children, and even after the Sundering, they cannot part until they return to the Star together.

Azem clashed with Pashtarot a lot, as a notorious rule-breaker, but there was no genuine ill-will. They just found each other frustrating to work with.

Fandaniel was her friend for years, from their time working in Elpis together before either of them joined the Convocation. Azem started to distance herself a bit after she quit her job to travel, and even more her father returned to the Star, but they remained friends until the very end. Hermes was never really certain exactly how he felt towards her.

I don’t think Azem and Altima ever interacted. Even in meetings.

She and Halmarut didn’t talk much, but they did have a close mutual friend in Azem’s sister-in-law, so sometimes they would end up in a social situation together. Having nothing in common, any conversation never made it past the small-talk stage.

Nabriales was her friendly rival, they just liked to fight and compete constantly. The arena from P11 is the Convocation Chamber in its reconfigured state that Azem designed for their matches.

Azem wasn’t certain on where she stood with Igeyohrm. She was Lahabrea’s family, but also Elidibus’ close friend, so she was never sure which direction Igeyohrm veered towards with her.

Deudalaphon was another old friend from before she joined the Convocation, and her old boss - Azem’s original role being part of the Words of Deudalaphon. Her concept specialities fell under their expertise, so they worked together even after Azem took up the mantle of the traveller.

Azem owed Emmerololth her life a hundred times over (due to her tendency to injure herself on duty) so she tried her best to maintain a friendly bond between them out of respect and gratitude.

Lahabrea and Azem vehemently detested each other. They did not agree with how the other operated at all, and neither felt the other should have a seat on the Convocation. In part, it stemmed from the unfortunate relationship that Lahabrea had with Azem’s father, Apollo, when he had been younger. When Azem heard what had happened with Erichthonios, Elidibus had to keep them from trying to kill each other.

Elidibus was like her little brother, she cared for him dearly and had since he was toddling. He looked up to her the way she looked up to Venat - to the point where she was concerned it would interfere with his duties if he took on the role of Emissary.

Venat was a personal hero from the day they met, and over time became her mentor and confidant. Even though Azem felt as though her predecessor could be difficult at times, and she didn’t understand many of her actions especially towards the end, she still loved her all the same.

a convocation relationships chart for all your azem needs ☀️

[alea-jottun]

On dissonance : saying you story did something vs making your story say something

A problem I have noticed with people defending s2 is that they take at face value what the dialogues say (or what the writers have said in interviews), as if it were a complete justification of what happens in s2. But a story cannot simply say it is something, it has to be this thing. Dialogue that is not backed up by the actual content of a story is worthless.

A few examples for instance :

S2 wants to pretend that it has something to say about forgiveness. But what does it do ? Have alternate Silco say that "the greatest thing we can do in life is find the power to forgive" (one of the worst lines of s2 considering the context. I'm not even going to delve into why he was the worst possible character you could choose to prone forgiveness, but let's put aside his character assassination for now) yet never follow through.

That's just a line, said by a character. For it to have value, it has to be backed by the story. But s2 doesn't do that.

The problem is not that s2 wants to prone forgiveness (that was going to come up anyway, because you have to discuss forgiveness in order to put an end to a cycle of violence). The problem is that there is no well-written arc demonstrating the value of forgiveness in s2 : simply characters who suddenly feel bad for what they have done, and other characters who forgive them just like that. The justifications given for their changes of heart are either incredibly superficial (considering the gravity of the Arcane themes. We're talking about forgiving murder, attacks, etc), or absolute crap. The reason being of course that the writers did not bother writing organic, developped character arcs.

No, Caitlyn saying "I know" or fighting Noxus is not her taking responsibility or atoning for her crimes. No, her seeing Vi or being called Cupcake should not be enough to cause a change of heart this radical (and don't say that Caitlyn was feeling bad and was waiting for an opportunity to betray Ambessa, because that's simply not true. She absolutely supported Ambessa through s2. She just suddenly changed her opinion on Ambessa because the writers decided it).

Same goes for instance for the Timebomb subplot (which I have unfortunately seen heralded as another example of how s2 preaches forgiveness) : Ekko goes to an alternate reality and falls in love with an alternate version of a girl who murdered his friends and cursed Zaun, but in his reality Jinx is suddenly sad about what she did to the Council, so boom ! Forgiven with no proper redemption arc, and now Ekko tries to convince her that she can better herself. Even though throughout Arcane Jinx didn't give a damn about Ekko or the Firelights she killed. And no, fighting for Piltover and a fake sacrifice at the end do not count as redemption.

At this point, the writers really feel like a character being sad is equivalent to an entire redemption arc. But forgiveness has to be earned, and it never is in s2.

Another example of constant dissonance which I have evoked in another post, but also fits here :

Caitlyn saying to Jinx "no amount of good deeds can undo our crimes...." .... while the entirety of s2 does just that for several characters, including her and Jinx, ironically.

Again, that's just one line, said by a character at the end of a 9 episodes series. But that's not what s2 says in practice. The reality of s2 is that it keeps trying to downplay Jinx's past actions, it keeps trying to undo her crimes : she does whatever she wants and is seen as a symbol in Zaun, even though she literally prevented the Council from declaring Zaun independant. There is no problem to her presence in Viktor's commune, despite that fact that she killed him, and his dream, and again, cursed Zaun when it was about to be freed. She can literally talk to Viktor without the topic ever being properly adressed.  And then the writers remember that she is a bit more than a troublemaker, so in the last episodes you get half-baked excuses and a tentative to end herself to cause drama (which is incredibly insensitive, but that's not the point of this post).

Same for Caitlyn : despite being the one saying "no amount of good deeds can undo our crimes....", she has one of the happiest ending of s2, without ever taking responsibility for her actions, or going through redemption. She ends up with an even better social position, a girlfriend she mistreated, a victory for Piltover, and never any real punishment or coherent negative consequences of her actions. So yes, her crimes are pretty much undo-ed... and she didn't even do any real good deed.

The dialogue says something, but the whole series contradicts it.

And finally, you have lines that are absolute crap (in the context of s2) and that pretend that s2 was a completely different show : see the "trying to get rid of your imperfections" line (Viktor's so-called quest for perfection doesn't exist apart from a few lines of dialogues, it is never a proper plot point in the show itself). See the "If he had found the letter it would all have been different" line (not even going to go into details with this one because there is so much wrong with it, it's impressive at this point). Or Jayce's "All I want is my partner back" when Jayce is not shown caring about Viktor after he goes back to Zaun (and no, hallucinating him once in the fire does not count. Also it does not help that neither Jayce nor Viktor have much screen time) and then tries to kill him. So what does s2 do ? Have a cheap thirty second explanation in the last episode, introduce the worst "plot twist" of the series, and pretend it did the job.

Add that to the terrible interview of the writer who said that they made the story as "economical" as possible (they genuinely thought that if they implied something once, then they never had to mention it again) when a good story is supposed to be the complete opposite : efficient (say as much as you possibly can).

S2 is all filler no substance. I know we're joking about the people defending it with the "micro-expressions" argument, but that's understandable : that's all there is in s2 : micro-potentials of what could have been a great series, drowned in an ocean of incompetence. 

[elliespuns]

what do you think are joel's main insecurities?

Worthiness as a Father: Joel struggles with the guilt of leaving his daughter after she died. This weighs heavily on him, causing him to feel unworthy as a father figure to Ellie later, whom he loves deeply.

Self-Doubt: Despite his tough exterior and survival skills, Joel sometimes doubts his own abilities and decisions. This self-doubt can be triggered by moments of weakness or when he's faced with impossible choices. It's a constant struggle for him to believe in his own judgments, especially when the stakes are high.

Trust Issues: Joel has been betrayed and scarred by the world multiple times, making it difficult for him to trust others easily. This leads to him being guarded.

His Past Actions: Joel is haunted by the choices he's made, the people he killed. This weighs heavily on his conscience, causing him to question his own moral worth.

Feelings of Helplessness: In a world where he has been vital and resilient, Joel struggles with feeling helpless when faced with circumstances he cannot control, such as major threats to Ellie's safety or his own mortality.

Emotional Opacity: Joel has a hard time expressing his emotions and connecting with others on a deeper level. He often pushes people away or shuts down when they try to get close to him. This emotional opacity can be seen as a strength (e.g., his resilience and stoicism) but also as a weakness (e.g., his difficulties to form and maintain relationships).

Fear of Losing Ellie: After losing Sarah and coming to love another child, Joel is terrified of losing her as well. This fear often drives his decisions and causes him to be overprotective.

[fashionteahouse]

i wonder - edward cullen x reader

AN: okay guys i might’ve went overboard with the smut for this part🙈 so if you don’t want to read the honeymoon part i understand 💜

<<prev

A hand pets the fur of the purring animal. They sat in your lap as the house was silent.

It wasn’t silent for long before your cat jumps down and scurry into the bedroom. You turn around with your arm resting on the edge of the couch.

“You’re being ridiculous. You’re acting like it’s the last time you’re seeing Y/N.”

Rosalie didn’t roll her eyes as she says this, but you could tell she really wanted to.

Edward completely ignored her as he walks around the sofa and haves a seat next to you. You turn and your back is now against the sofa as you take a look at him.

“Are you nervous?” he asks carefully.

“Why would I be?” you ask with grin.

“…If you’re having cold feet, I completely understand.”

You shoot a look at Rosalie, she then finally rolls her eyes. You softly smile as you look back to Edward.

“If I had cold feet, don’t you think I would tell you?”

He doesn’t say anything.

“Stop being a worrier….Your age is showing.” you tease quietly and you finally get to see a small glimpse of a smile form on his lips.

“You will see Y/N tomorrow, okay?” Rosalie says.

“What about your nightmares? I fed. I don’t have to leave tonight.” he says and his eyes showed the truth as they were vibrant with amber.

You let him know that you have the cat to keep you company and Rosalie even offered to stay overnight since she and Alice, along with Esme, has to get you ready to walk down the aisle the very next morning.

“I doubt the nightmares will happen…I have something to look forward to.” you say.

He didn’t move still.

“Plus, aren’t you supposed to be having a bachelor party or something?”

Edward makes a small huff, “I already overindulged on mountain lions.”

You shake your head at his claim with a small smile.

It took him a while to leave, but mostly because he held you tight, making sure that every inch of your lips was consumed with his.

Rosalie sighs as you two were alone and that’s when you both weren’t alone for long.

You gush out hellos to Kate and Tanya who came, they return the tight hugs.

“I cannot believe you were seriously about to just go to bed. Come on, where’s your spunk?” Tanya says eyeing you.

“Sorry. Just didn’t think about it. So much has been going on.” you say with a slight groan.

“That’s why you need a stress reliever.” Kate says and you’re guided in your room before you tug back. The two sisters look at you.

“I have a cat.”

You watch as their eyes light up.

“You guys should have some distance.” you tell them and enter your bedroom. Your cat could already sense them with the scent of them on you and meows loudly.

You coo to them that it’s okay, picking them up taking them in another room. You rush and grab things for them to play with so they won’t be completely bored and shut the door.

They took you out for a night of dancing. Alice eventually came and gave you the tightest hug. You were shy at first but their grins and their encouragement was easy for you to let your hair down as you slowly but surely started to get into the groove.

They were close to you as they made sure no one could hit on you and you were glad for that. Alice and Rosalie decided to stay on the dance floor.

Tanya led you to a bar as Kate began to flirt subtly to a desperate man trying to get her attention. She toyed with him for the time being.

You two sat close as you only ordered a soda.

“I know you will tell me….What really happened?” you whisper, knowing that she could still hear you over the thumping sound of music.

Tanya looked hesitant but she says, “Don’t tell Edward I told you.”

You nod but she sticks out her pinky finger and you interlace it and you both kiss the hands to solidify the promise. That’s when she opened her mouth.

“I told Irina at first it wasn’t a good idea. Aro killed our mother for christ sake. But…She was so for Laurent that…She went as far as to claim him as her mate…I had to support her then..Aro, after all, did take us under his wing for a bit since we were orphans and I appreciate him not killing us for our mother’s actions of breaking the law but…That lifestyle was just way too…Sinister.” Tanya shuddered a bit.

“Did you know he came right after the battle? He talked to me and everything.” you say.

“He only wants you to be turned. He doesn’t trust a human to contain such secret…But, he did speak with Eleazar…Eleazar and the Volturi go way back…He used to be a guard for them.”

“Wow…”

“He found out from Eleazar of your potential gift and he just became excited…I know for a fact he’s going to offer you to join his coven but just keep Edward in mind. Aro knows how to talk a good talk.”

You nod.

“The battle was definitely a bloodbath. I mean…When Irina said wolves, me and Kate were thinking the creatures The Children of the Moon….They were creatures who transformed under a full moon…But, she explained how it happened during broad daylight so we didn’t know what we were walking into. They were men…Men who could…Transform into a wolf but whenever they wanted to.”

You nod again before asking, “Are they still around? The Childen of the Moon, I mean?”

“No..Aro and his coven wiped them completely out a very long time ago. I mean…I’m talking….Gone from total existence. He was almost killed by one. That’s why he had no problem with helping us out. He thought like us, he thought they had come back.”

“So…All of the shapeshifters…They’re dead?”

“Every last one…There were about five in total…However, Aro now wants to rule that territory..He figures the coven will be greatly stronger if he has two locations to rule from….Not only he killed the wolves, he killed innocent people who were in that area…He said he felt like they all deserved a snack for such precious victory…Aro showed no mercy….I mean we couldn’t either but..…There was a boy…He was young…He was young, Y/N..He held up a good fight, almost killing Caius….He was pleading in his human form saying…” she trailed off and shook her head before taking a breath, “Aro’s smile is something I will never forget….He literally tore him slowly from limb to limb…Torturing him…Making him feel everything…I get we were fighting for the justice of Laurent but…At least let them die quick.” she says sadly.

You take a large gulp of your soda as if it was the strongest alcoholic beverage you could ever taste.

“Now…There’s word that Aro found journals that contained tales of their kind. Origins even. He’s going to use it to his advantage to learn about everything about them..Just in case more comes. He thinks more is out there but in different areas.” she continues.

“I’ve been having nightmares…Aro and the Volturi is in every last one..” you confess.

“Just look on the bright side. You won’t have to worry about nightmares anymore. As much things me and my sisters have seen and been through..I’m glad we can’t have nightmares…I forgot what they feel like.” she says as she looks into the distance.

You both bathe in silence for a moment before Kate joins you both.

“What are you two talking about?” she asks.

“Our lovely battle.” Tanya says sarcastically.

“Oh…That.”

“I heard it was mayhem.” you say.

“Yeah, that’s not even the word for it.” Kate says.

“Tell me about it.” Tanya says. The way she said it, there was more that happened but you weren’t going to ask. What she told you already freaked you out a bit, so you stand and move towards the dance floor.

You lie in bed, your head wasn’t under the covers. You stare up at the ceiling. Your cat softly sleeps next to you.

You lift your head a bit as you look over the end of your bed. You see nothing and you quickly lay back down and continue to look up at the ceiling.

Alice blotted concealer under your eyes that didn’t blink.

“Edward would’ve killed me if I was the one who told you.” Alice says quietly.

“She was going to find out sooner or later.” Rosalie says as she looks at your reflection in the mirror.

“You look like a complete zombie. I told you before we left how important it was for you to sleep.” Alice chastised.

“I know, I know.” you say quietly with a soft sigh.

Esme brings out the unzipped bag that contained what you were wearing to walk down the aisle with a smile.

She gives you a quick hug.

“I wanted to give you something as well.” she tells you.

“Esme, there’s no need.” you say with a grin.

She holds up one finger and presents to you, pearl jewelry.

You smile as you looked at it.

“Do you like it?” she asks.

“I love it. I love it so much….Thank you.” you say sincerely. She couldn’t help but hug you again as she speaks, “Even though, you’ve been apart of this family already, I’m glad it’s about to be set in stone.” You hug her tighter.

“Okay. You’re all done. Let’s get you dressed.” Rosalie tells you with a small grin as you lift out of the hair/makeup chair.

You were in shock as you looked at your completed self in the mirror.

“Just exquisite.” Esme says to your reflection with clasped hands under her chin with a wonderment smile.

“Is it normal to feel butterflies like this?” you say as you fan yourself a bit. Rosalie went to fetch the flowers for you to hold.

Alice placed two cool hands down your arm as she looked you in the eye, “Yes, but whatever you do, don’t cry. You will ruin your look and that will make me very upset.”

You couldn’t help but produce a breathy laugh as you hug her, she gives you a smile and she hugs you back, “I’m so glad that Edward has found the one…You’ve made things so much easier for us.”

“Alice, hush.” you say with a chuckle that she returns.

You pull back and look at her before looking down.

“I’m sorry I pushed you guys away at first…I know you all didn’t ask for this life.”

“It’s okay, Y/N. All of that is behind us. You’re my sister.” she says with a bright smile.

You felt a rub on your shoulder, “Our sister.”

You smile at Rosalie before looking back to Alice. They looked beautiful as they were your bridesmaids.

“You ready Y/N?” Carlisle says with a smile as he comes to where you are. You nod as your hands began to shake.

“Just relax…He’s just as nervous as you are.” Carlisle says.

“That’s hard to believe.” you say in a whisper.

Carlisle sticks his arm out and says, “Just don’t let go, Y/N.”

“I have no plans to.” you tell him as you clutch his arm tight. You were glad that he didn’t mind it, you held onto him as if you were going to fall.

You clutched the flowers as tight as Carlisle’s arm. Alice, Rosalie, and Esme were already gone. There was no turning back.

You take careful steps, looking around, the Denali Coven along with vampires you didn’t recognize, were watching you walk down the aisle, you were shocked. They displayed faces and you saw your now siblings look at you with bright smiles.

The music that was playing for your entrance, Tanya was playing on a grand piano, peaking up at you with a smile.

It was an intimate wedding venue, decorated by Alice that you knew it was dripping in her decorative eye. You didn’t know if you were overreacting, but it was like you were in a dream. As a child, this is what you imagined your future wedding to look like.

You were scared to look ahead, but you slowly look up.

Emmett being Edward’s best man, he gave you an encouraging smile and it was hard to deny that he was excited for his brother.

Edward couldn’t contain his excitement, it didn’t even look like nervousness.

It looked as if your best friend was waiting for you. You grin as you walk close and closer. Your heart slows and it felt like everything was in slow motion.

Your feelings went from being nervous to feeling anxious enough to hurry up to get to him. It felt like you two were the only beings on the planet Earth.

His smile made your stomach jump with butterflies as you felt like you did when you first met him. His golden eyes met yours and they were filled with deep ardor.

He never took his eyes off of you and you never take your eyes off of his. You stand next to him after Carlisle gave you away with a kiss on your cheek. He then goes to sit next to Esme.

The officiator, you’ve never seen before but you had an idea that it was a friend of Carlisle’s, began to wed you both.

Edward couldn’t help it. He reached and put his arm around your back and you loop your arm around his and you both hold and interlace each other’s hands tight. The officiant welcomes everyone and talks about the significance of the important day.

They talk about the love you two have for each other, such passion for each other. Two soulmates being gathered in this moment together to unite two hearts as you both embark on a your new journey together. They talk about marriage and love in a few words before setting the tone for vows.

The heartfelt promises came. Edward’s voice sounded like beautiful wind chimes as he carefully spoke out his love for you. His words reached into the depths of your soul as he promised to always and forever love you. He vowed to forever protect you, your heart, and soul. He vowed to worship the ground that you walked on, vowed to make you feel cherished and valued each and every day. He vowed until death do you apart, he would never let anything get in the way of true love’s enduring power. He showed great excitement of you becoming his partner.

You had to blink back tears as you said your own heartfelt promise. You promised to make sure to make him happy as much as he made you happy, each and everyday. You vowed to always love him always and forever through thick and thin, vowing to never let anyone or anything get into the way of you loving him. You vowed to always stand beside him, to let him guide you and teach you. You showed your own excitement of him becoming your partner.

Edward held up the shimmering ring in his own shimmering hand, the piercing gaze into your own as he carefully said the words, “With this ring, I thee wed.” He slid it onto your left hand.

You held up the ring with a slightly shaky hand, making sure to look him in the eye as well as you said the words from your lips, “With this ring, I thee wed.” You slid it onto his left hand.

The officiant declared you both to be married as you both excitedly smiled at each other. He wasted no time to pull you to him and smothered his mouth on yours and you both embrace into a passionate smooth of love.

The kiss was almost different. It was the first kiss as a married couple and it felt magical in a way.

Claps and cheers erupt as you both walk down the aisle as a newlywed couple, leading the way to the journey of love.

You and Edward take off to take pictures. You both just couldn’t stop smiling at each other.

The time you two were actually alone together before the reception, you both couldn’t stop kissing each other.

His hands still cupped your face, he tells you close to your lips, “If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve thought I was dreaming.”

You grin a bit, “It feels like I’m dreaming now..I don’t want to wake up.” you whisper to him.

“I love you…So much.” he says.

“I love you…I love your soul.” you say.

“I love your soul more.” he whispered and he doesn’t let you speak again as his lips were crushed on your lips once again.

The reception was small and intimate and you were glad in a way to be the only human. You didn’t have the worry clouding over your head as you watched as the vampires that you knew mingled without holding back.

You held Edward’s hand tight as you both sat close to each other as each Cullen sibling took the stage and spoke kind words of you and Edward and the love that you two share. Esme and Carlisle welcomed you in as a child of theirs, even going as far as saying you held a special place in their life and they knew you were going to stick around for a long time just from the first time meeting you.

It felt like your heart stopped as Edward spoke loving words to you. Making more promises to never let the bond that you two have go. Claiming that you and his soul is now merged together, even as far as calling you not only his soulmate, but his actual mate.

As the vampires danced in a blurs, Eleazar and Carmen hugged both you and Edward, congratulating you both.

Jasper introduces you to an old friend of his, claiming him and Peter go way back. Peter brought his own mate Charlotte.

Jasper sensed your worry as you realize their eyes weren’t from a vegetarian diet, calming you.

Peter calmly tells you about how Jasper spared him from execution from the Mexican coven leader, Maria. He then goes on to explain how he escaped the coven with the help of Jasper, returning the favor as him and Charlotte helped Jasper escape.

“You didn't tell me all of this…We literally had history class together and I had gotten your glory years to work on as a project.” you joke to Jasper. He only brushes it off with a small smile.

A beautiful woman, was hugging Carlisle. When she pulled back she looked over to you and Edward. Edward held you tight to him as she made her way towards you both. Her black colored hair and her scarlet red eyes were striking as she stood tall. She exuded seductive femininity, even though her body was full figured with strength.

“Long time no see, Edward.” she speaks.

“It’s good to see you, Siobhan.” he speaks to her with kind recognition.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. Carlisle has had nothing but nice things to say about you.” she speaks to you with a kind smile.

You smile a bit as you say, “Nice to meet you as well. Hopefully we will see more of each other.”

Siobhan seems pleased to hear this and then says, “That’s Liam. My mate.” You look to see a man with a hard face that had red eyes as well, his hair was a dark brown with a lean and an imposing countenance. He looked in the direction of you all.

“That’s Maggie.” she says and a girl next to Liam with bouncing, curly red hair, was also looking in the direction of you all. She was short and thin.

“Is that your daughter?” you ask out of curiosity.

“You might as well say she is. Me and Liam found her in Ireland as she was starving. She has a wonderful gift of detecting one’s lies.”

“That’s…That sounds really useful to have.” you say with a small grin. She returns it, “She knew right away that me and Liam weren’t human. That’s what made me so fond of her.”

They carried themselves to be quite civil.

“You say Maggie has a gift. Do you?”

“Carlisle has a theory I do. He advises me to have a conversation with Eleazar…Has he say anything about you?”

“Well, inundating with voices is what he believes.”

She nods in thought.

“I see you reverted back to Carlisle’s diet. Nice to know it allowed you to see some good come out of it.” she says as she takes a humorous look at Edward.

Edward only softly chuckled as he looked down.

With a farewell grin, she’s off to her family. You look over to see Carlisle hugging the officiator as the officiator pat his back loudly.

“That’s Randall, he considers Carlisle to be one of his very good friends…One of the first vampires Carlisle has met when he was freshly turned.”

“Speaking of which…What’s Carlisle's theory?” you say as you peak to see Siobhan indeed having a conversation with Eleazar. This time, Liam and Maggie were at her side.

“That she can change the outcome of things that she desires in her favor…She only thinks it’s good planning.”

You both chuckle a bit.

“She knows about…Your spree?” you ask.

“Yeah…She kind of put the battery in my back to set it off, encouraging to embrace my natural diet.” he explains. You nod a bit at this information.

There was a lot of dancing, Edward of course kept you close.

Alice let out her excitement of you joining the family with dancing. You often joked to her about leaving Jasper hanging.

“I feel so bad you can’t eat cake.” you whisper to Edward as you both cut the tall wedding cake that you knew had something to do with Alice’s doing.

You were honestly surprised when scattered chuckles erupted in the room.

“I will live.” he says as he swiped a small dab of icing on your cheek as a camera flash at your surprised smile as you look at his mischievous face. You take a small dab and put it on his nose and a camera flashes at both of your smiles as you look to each other.

Turning around, the bouquet in your hands are thrown behind you and you hear happy gasps and Tanya’s loud laughter. You whip around and gasp happily.

Kate is shocked as she has the bouquet of flowers clenched in one hand. Tanya was hugging her and laughing while shaking her a bit to snap her out of it.

The dancing resumed and Alice tugs on your arm. You cling to Edward.

“Y/N, I have to get you ready.” she demands.

“I know…Just…Five more minutes.” you say as you gaze up at Edward, the way he was holding you to him was so comfortable you could fall asleep. He leans down and pressed his lips to yours, you both don’t make an effort to move.

“You cannot be serious. You will have five minutes and plus some.” Alice says impatiently as she taps her foot.

You finally let go and Edward watched with a small grin as you couldn’t take your eyes off of him.

Alice closed the door as she brought you to the same room where you had gotten ready in. Esme and Rosalie were already in there.

“Okay….Let’s get you in your farewell outfit.” Alice says excitedly and Rosalie hands it to her.

Esme helps you out of what you were wearing.

“Are you excited?” Esme asks with glee.

You couldn’t stop the smile that spread like wildfire on your face.

“I am.” you say with a nod.

“Me and Alice already have you packed. I even hired a sitter for your cat.” Rosalie tells you as you get dressed.

“Thank you.” you say with a smile

“Jasper put you and Edward’s bags in the trunk.” Alice adds in.

“The car should be here any minute to take you both to the airport.” Rosalie says.

“Okay.” you said to both.

The thought of leaving made you incredibly nervous. As soon as you leave the room, Edward was waiting for you. He takes your hand as people send their farewells and happy wishes to you both.

White doves fly off as you both make an exit.

You would ask later how they have managed to get it done, but knowing Alice, she could get anything done.

Both you and Edward slide into the car, still connected with hands and you watch through the tinted windows of everyone waving with bright smiles.

The vampires waving grew smaller and smaller as the road outstretched ahead of you.

You walk through the terminals of the airport holding Edward’s arm and board the plane.

You blink awake, lifting your head from Edward’s shoulder. You both walk to another check in desk and walk through another terminal.

You don’t ask, you wanted to be surprised. Edward took every advantage of this.

The next flight was long but comfortable.

Leaving out of the airport, Edward opens the car door for you and slides in next to you.

He speaks in a foreign language to the driver and the driver knew right where to go. You smile a bit at his fluency, forgetting for a second that he of course had years to master languages.

Pretty soon, you both arrive at a dock. You follow him as you both walk past the yachts and boats.

Edward stops at a boat and drops the luggage in it.

“Is this a speedboat?” you ask quietly. He looks up and smiles, “Yes.”

He takes your hand and helps you on carefully. He skillfully prepares the boat for departure before you both head out to the open ocean. The strong smell of salt is prevalent and some water sprays up from the speed of the boat.

You clutch to the seat. You look up at you let out a breathless ah. It was dark but full of stars no matter where you looked. It took your breath away.

“Do you see Edward?”

He glanced at you with a smile and he answers yes. You already knew the answer but you were too excited.

The boat finally stops to a dock. Edward helps you out and you watch as he ropes it up.

He carries the luggage in as if it weighed nothing. You slowly walk and look around. It was on an island. It was so quiet. So peaceful. So beautiful. Dark vegetation and pale sand was what you both walked through before seeing a house with large windows.

He opened the door and it was unlocked.

“Whoa.” you say as he flicked on a light. Spacious wasn’t the word.

He’s back in front of you as you seen that the bags were gone from his gasp. You’re in his arms.

You slowly slide down to your feet once he stops in front of a large bed that was in the middle of the bedroom, covered in large pillows.

The room was warmer than the rest of the house. Even warmer than outside.

He swiped your cheek and he felt your dab of sweat in his hand.

“It’s too hot for you?”

“Erm..Just a little but…You kind of cooled me off when you..Did that.” you admit quietly.

A nervous chuckle ring in your ears and you eye him carefully.

“That was sort of the plan.”

You touch his arm and you felt the coolness of his skin. He looks down at your touch before tugging you close to him.

He looks at you for a moment before he finally speaks again.

“My wedding gift to you.” he whispered.

You’re in shock. Tears collect but don’t fall. You blink then away.

“What….? You…What?…. To…Me?”

“Yes. All of this..Is yours. This is your island.”

A teardrop falls and he catches it with a smile. He kissed your eyelid and you clutch him tight to you.

“I can’t even repay you for this. You’re making this hard and I mean so hard.” you say shakily.

He chuckles, “You want to know how you can repay me?”

“How?” you say eagerly.

He searches your face and takes it in as he blinked slowly, “Just love me like I love you.”

“That’s easy.” you whisper.

His arms were around you as you kiss him your thanks which he happily returned.

You noticed his touches lingered, which made you a tad bit nervous. His hand stops right on the lowest part of your back.

“Are you tired?” he asks close in your ear.

You meekly shake your head.

Two hands are now on your lowest part of your back as he peered down at you.

“Let’s go for a swim.” he suggests quietly.

You grin a bit as you nod your head meekly. You look at the large window that had a bright moon that shined right outside, lighting up everything around it.

He then has you pressed to him as he brushed his lips to yours trailing to your neck and stopping to place an open mouth kiss on a spot on your neck before leaving to go outside.

You stayed in the bathroom as a bathing suit that Alice had packed for you was on your body. You lean your hands on the sink to steady yourself as you stare at your reflection in the mirror.

You just couldn’t understand why you felt like you were about to see your crush for the first time and you were entirely married.

You slowly open the bathroom door, making your way outside.

The outside air was warm, you actually hoped that the water was cool in temperature.

The moonlight still made Edward’s back shine as he was already in the water.

He gave you a brilliant smile as you joined him in the water. It was warm. You both look up at the moonlight as he held you close. His touch made you feel great.

You both swim together, brilliant chuckles bounce off of the environment. Splashing each other even in the process. Your cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing so much.

You float on your back in contentment as you stare up at the shining moon and stars.

“Thank you for keeping your promise..You did say that we would be on the beach together.” you whisper in the night air.

“Privately.” he reminded with a grin.

“It’s as private as it’s going to get.” you whisper.

As soon as you yawned, he then picks you up.

“I’m not tired.” you whisper in his ear as you wrap his arm around his neck as he’s walking back to the house.

“Are you sure about that?” he chuckles as he saw your hooded eyes. You did fight to stay awake, simply because you didn’t want this night to end.

“I’m relaxed. I don’t want this to end.” you whispered as you’re back on your feet.

He doesn’t say anything as he gave you a look that made your stomach lurch with butterflies.

He only goes into the bathroom, you hear the shower. You follow him.

You watch as his fingers grace the edge of his shorts. He watched you.

Before you knew it, you both were bare in front of each other, staring and taking each other in with each other’s eyes. Before you went to hide yourself with your hands, he takes both of your wrists, pulling you to him.

The kiss was smothered on your lips as he pressed you against him. You were sandwiched in between his body and the shower tiles. His hand felt every inch of your back as you held him with your arms around his neck. His lips were trailing down your neck to rest on your collarbone.

He carried you back into the bedroom after some time of embracing each other, drying you off with a towel. You then reach to be pressed against him once again.

That’s how you fell asleep. Tangled with each other, skin to skin. He watched as you took each breath, questioning how he became so lucky. Your face exhibits peace in its slumber.

Edward felt his throat overwhelm with a burning sensation once the sunlight hit the room. You began to stir as he tries to detach himself unwillingly.

A kiss is placed on the side of your mouth, to your nose, and your lips as you tiredly blinked awake. You held him tighter as he breathed out a low chuckle.

“Where are you going?” you say, thick with your morning voice.

“I have to feed. I will be right back.” he promises in a whisper.

You then blink your eyes open to see his face. You nod an okay with a soft smile. He kissed the smile off of your face.

You toured the home after you got dressed. You couldn’t help but look at the ring on your finger. Doing tasks with the same hand as your ring, made you keep staring at it with a lovesick smile.

You rush to the piano that was waiting for you. You brush one finger as it slid down each piano key. You have a seat on the bench.

You don’t know why, but you started to play a bit of the traditional wedding ceremony song before stopping with a chuckle.

A kiss on the side of your neck as you washed your dish at the grand sink, startled you a bit. His hands wrap around your waist.

“I missed you.” he says in a velvet tone in your ear.

“I missed you more.” you say softly.

“We should swim. It’s daylight.”

You’re excited and he chuckled as you leave out in a hurry.

He held your hand as you both make your way outside. You thought he would walk through the almost white sand to the ocean but he changed directions.

A steep pathway surrounded by nature is where you two head. You didn’t ask questions because you loved his surprises. In a way, he still felt your anticipation. You both would flash each other excited looks.

It wasn’t a big height to jump from but after you look at the glistening water with fish swimming around, Edward insisted you to get on his back.

You hop on and he’s flying in the air which made you squeal a bit from excitement.

You rise up from the water and noticed more fish on your side. On Edward’s side, they swam away quickly as if he was a shark.

His skin shined like the wet glistening rocks.

Swimming in the water, you swam with surprisement. He didn’t need to come up for air but that didn’t stop you for appreciating the view as you with your head above the water as you swam lightly.

The wildlife was vividly colorful. Different birds caught your eye as they chirped about songs. You honestly pinched yourself once to see if you were dreaming.

You felt that if you blinked, it would all disappear.

Fresh from the shower, you flopped on the bench and wondered if you could make a tune that’s comprehensible. You chuckled a bit as you tried to mimic the chirps you heard from the birds earlier on the keys.

You were toying around with the keys. Edward patiently stands next to the piano and you thought he was going to say something about your piece when you were finished but he asks a plain question, “Are you ready for bed?”

You eyed the clock. It didn’t even hit past midnight. You eyed his face. He seemed hopeful so you nod woodenly even though you weren’t tired.

He then came over and lifted you into his arms. Walking into the bedroom as he carried you with your legs around his waist, his fingers grazed the flesh of your skin as he lowered you down on the bed.

You close your eyes with a content sigh. His lips hit your collarbone. You held onto the back of his head as he kissed and suck all over your collarbone and neck.

You didn’t notice your chest was naked until you fluttered your eyes open to see his lips on your chest. You held his head tighter. He took his time. Savoring every inch of you as his lips trailed down your stomach. You were surprised to see that you were down to your underwear as he kissed right above the edge of them.

As he continued to kiss your underwear covered center, his hands caressed and groped your body as if he owned you and such action excited you deeply. Your eyes fluttered closed again as you felt him peel off your underwear. You softly sucked in a shaky breath.

His hands were talented as they only relaxed you with shudders. Up and down. Slowly. They made you whisper his name as he felt every inch of your skin. His rhythmic touches followed you into your dreams.

You blinked awake with him pressed behind you.

“I..I fell asleep?” you ask in a whisper.

He kissed your ear.

“Yes.” he answered.

“I’m sorry.” you say feeling bad. You don’t even remember falling asleep.

He kissed your shoulder, “Why are you apologizing? I wanted to relax you.”

You hum a response as his hand caressed your shoulder and arm.

“Do you have to leave?”

“I just came back.” he answered. A smile formed on your lips.

You both lie there for a moment. You felt the poke of his member on your backside. You didn’t expect it to feel so hard but you shift your hips and his hand rested right on your stomach.

Before you knew it, you’re on your back as he held you to him with your arms around his neck.

You sigh out softly as you felt him move himself against you as his lips never left your jaw and neck. You heard noises that sounded unholy as he rubbed his hardened flesh against you. You could tell he was holding a lot back due to his quiet groans and his tight fists that were clenching the sheets but you held onto him tighter as your eyes squeezed shut.

Your heart beat quickened in your ears as you felt a tingle sensation throughout your entire body, you almost panicked. You didn’t know what was happening.

“Oh my god.” you whined out in pants and he only whispered close to your ear, “You’re okay.” His seductive voice only made you tremble in silence as your body relaxed and your mouth slightly fell open with a shaky sigh.

He was gone in a flash when you opened your eyes. You held the covers to you. He was in the bathroom.

“Are..Are you okay?” you ask as he came back in. He lies down right next to you.

“I’m okay…I didn't want to get anything on you.” he admits and his voice is very relaxed and light.

You place a sweet kiss on his lips and he held the back of your head to him before he lets you go.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m more than okay.” you say shyly.

You watched him as you sat on your knees, with a pillow resting below them, outside on the wooden deck.

He placed each chess piece down.

“What color?” he asks once he was finished.

“White. I wanna go first.” you say.

“Alright.” he grinned.

You move your pawn up two spaces. He does the same, both pawns are toe to toe with each other. You move your bishop. He moved his knight. You slide your queen diagonally, hoping he would fall into the trap. You watch as he instead used his pawn to block your queen, if you moved your queen any further, his other pawns would easily capture it. You retreat it to keep it safe, but still having a chance to make a check move on your next turn. He blocked this chance from happening by putting the knight in your way to where if you captured the knight, his queen would capture yours.

You look at him. He had the best poker face you’ve ever seen. You look back down to the board.

You slide your queen over, diagonal to your bishop. He moved his knight, making an attack against your queen for his next move. You slide your queen back over, only stopping below his knight. He moved his pawn above his knight. You take his pawn with your pawn. His bishop moves diagonal, threatening your queen once again. You slide your queen one move backwards to move it out of the bishop’s way. His knight then takes your pawn. His knight was now threatening your king.

“Check.” he speaks out.

The game ended up working in his favor. Majority of your pieces were on his side.

“Do you want to play again?”

“Um..” you say and set your hands on your hips as you look over at the view of the water, “Maybe later.”

He chuckled a bit, “Alright.”

You help him put the pieces away in the box but you both decided to not put the game completely away.

You both walk back inside.

You sling an arm around him, he gave you a crooked grin that made your heart jump.

“You have another song you wanna teach me?” you ask.

“Sure.” he says.

You both sit down.

His fingers tried to go slow but they still looked fast. You give him a look that made him burst into a laughing fit.

“Edward.” you say with slight annoyance.

“Saint-Saëns concerto 2. You definitely can do that.”

“In which lifetime?” you ask. He rubbed your shoulder encouragingly, “Come on.”

“Okay, play it again.” you say with your own small grin and you focus as he does play it again. You wanted to know how it went.

You tried your best when it was your turn to play. You then wish you had sheet music. You laughed a bit after bombing it.

“Okay. This is the first time I want sheet music.” you tell him.

“Okay.” he says. He rises up.

You didn’t expect him to grab some paper and a pen. You watch him as he writes at a table and draw the actual notes.

He comes back over and sets it on the stand.

You played better than you did but you definitely needed practice.

He rises and his arms are over your shoulders with his fingers helping your fingers press down on the weighted keys.

You couldn’t help your hands from lifting up as his face was close to your neck. You pull the nape of his neck down as you reached up. A soft kiss was made.

You both stare at each other. It was just you and him. The next kiss was more enthusiastic.

He breaks away before he turns you around while sitting. He kneels down to the front of you. Not breaking eye contact. He leans forward. You respond to the kiss that gifted your lips.

He pulls away. You watch him as his hands rest on your knees. He felt the skin as you breath was audible in your ears. His hands now were slowly caressing your thighs which made you close your eyes with a sigh.

“Look at me please?”

It was so enticing to hear that your eyes popped open. He now moves between your legs as he’s still on his knees and your legs are around his waist.

His hand are firm on your back as lips lingered on each others.

You both sigh in each other’s mouths as you caress him back, pulling him closer. As soon as you hips rolled upwards, he reached forward as he used more pressure with his lips and his hand grips keys on the piano, making an abrupt cluster notes.

You broke away audibly as you open your eyes to look at his desired face. Legs still open with him in between them. You find yourself lifted off of the bench. He sits down instead and your legs are beside his hips. Your hands are firm on his shoulders. Faces are so close he’s breathing in your air.

“Move with me.” he whispered, it was almost like a beg.

It was like a slow dance. Hips rolled into each other. You heard creaks and peaked at his clenched fists that gripped beside him on the bench. He would then open them to have touches of your body.

You were building up the achy feeling as your body was more pressed to him than its ever been.

He groans loudly before you’re both on the floor. You pause as you look down at him but you’re on top of him.

His hips don’t pause as you close your eyes as his hands were glued to your bottom. Hands caressed each other before he clenched his fists beside him and you shudder against him and roll off of him as you lie beside him.

You pant as you blinked at the stars.

Just lying on the floor, you were too comfortable to move. He was too comfortable to move.

He caressed your cheek quickly and picks you up.

Your breath was heavy as his hand rested on your bottom, you stand between his leg as you both watched the water from the handheld shower head that you held, ran down the front of his body.

He looks at you and you look at him. He pressed a kiss to you and takes it out of your hands.

Standing before him, he rinsed the front of your body and you couldn’t take your eyes off of him.

The mixture of his cold hands and the lukewarm water was interesting to you.

Your breath hitches when you hold onto his shoulder, he’s holding a finger out as he glided his finger back and forth against your wetness while he muffled your sighs with his mouth.

Your legs were very wobbly as he took your hand into the kitchen but he quickly noticed. Picking you up, your arms are around his neck as he sat you down in a chair.

You ate slowly as he watched you from across the table. The times you did peak up, you were hit with a wave of butterflies.

You blinked quickly as your heart sped up as he stood next to you to get your empty dishes.

You wondered if he noticed your nervousness. You barely said words.

With shaky legs, you stood next to the window. He joins you moments later.

“Want to take a walk?” you ask.

“Would you be able to walk?” he asks quietly but you hear the amusement in his voice.

You look down with a chuckle, “It was worth a shot.”

“Let’s watch a movie instead.” he murmurs in your ear.

You watch him walk away a bit as he goes to the living room.

You sit down next to him, keeping distance because you were feeling flushed.

“Why are you all the way over there?”

“…I…Don’t..Know.” you say shyly and innocent. He brings on a smile that made your heart jump.

He smothered your hand and makes you smush against him. You look at the television screen as his arm was around you.

An American in Paris

You couldn’t focus because your eyes kept staring at his hands more than the actual screen. You swallowed as your center pounded with need. The eyes you kept staring at were the same hands that knew right where to touch. The same hands you fell in love with.

The end credits were almost over and you blink and sit up.

“You don’t even know what happened in the movie. Do you?” Edward asks with a knowing smile and tone.

You look down and clear your throat, “I’m sorry…My mind is preoccupied.”

You get up and sit away from him.

He puts his arm around on the edge of the couch.

“With what?”

“Come on.” you mutter with a smile.

“Isn’t that a good thing?” he asks with uncertainty.

“It is.” you say as you reassure him, he visually relaxes.

“It’s just….” you sigh as you look at him with a look that made him extremely happy inside, “You’re making me crazy about you.”

“As do you.” he says as he touched your cheek.

“I don’t think I will be able to watch you play piano again.” you whisper.

“I don’t think I will be able to watch you play piano again. Especially after what we did.”

You nervously chuckle as you look down.

“Want to go to the beach?”

You pipe up and nod.

You don’t move. He doesn’t move. He blinks at you.

“Can we just…?” you suggest quietly and he waits for you.

You lean over and capture his lips. His tongue slipped in which you touched with your own, it surprised you and you climb on him but he turns over and puts you on your back. You look up at him as he then scoots you forward to the edge of the couch and kneels between you. You’re sucked into his kiss and he graces the bottom of your swollen lip with his thumb as he leans in again. He pulls away with a soft smack.

Your breath comes out in shudders as he kisses the skin that followed your underwear that he was peeling off.

You were slumped against the couch as he slowly opened your legs with his cool hands.

He swallowed but the drool kept coming as you were spread open in his face. He kissed you there and your hips rolled before he leans back up and kisses you. You both moan in the kiss.

He makes sure you both have no clothing in the way as he rubbed himself again between your open legs as he holds your bottom. The tingles were strong and flooded your body in an aggressive manner. You arch your back as he made you feel like you were dying but in a good way.

You push against him. He stops.

“I-I’m sorry…Keep…Keep going.” you pant out.

“Are you sure?” he asks carefully and barely audible and you nod with enthusiasm.

He resumes which makes you bite your lip before you sigh out. He makes your body press against with his while you grip onto his arms.

A changed sensation makes you keep your eyes on him. He enjoyed it. He slowly poked his tip in your entrance before sleeked against you. Your body relaxed even more and you whisper his name while you held eye contact.

He couldn’t last as he continued to do this and he’s gone in the bathroom while you close your sore legs. You catch your breath as you sit up. You reach and grab your underwear.

He didn’t bother to get dressed before he slides open the glass door with a smile, “Come let’s go swimming.”

The warm water against your naked skin was something you never thought you would love. You never swam naked before but here you were, wondering how you’ve lived your entire life wearing a swim suit.

There was a waterfall, you both let the water fall on the both of you. You both became attached as you both held each other to kiss each other as if you both were the source of oxygen.

You weren’t hungry but you ate small to please Edward’s worried eyes.

You clean the dishes as his arms were behind your waist as he stood behind you.

“Are you tired?”

You grinned.

“Very tired.”

He hummed a response that made your stomach drop in excitement.

You both stood bare in the dark after the sound of the door closed. None of the curtains were closed so the naked moon shined brightly into the dark room.

The excited expression couldn’t be contained from either of you.

He only walked to the bed and pulled back the covers as he then stood and stared at you.

Walking over, you lay down and he tucked you in.

“Is it hot?” he asks.

“Yeah.” you say as you forgo some of the covers. You were thankful it wasn’t humid hot.

“Do you want me to cool you down?” he asks.

You look at his face and he was serious as you could only nod. He joins you in bed as if he was going to be sleeping too.

“This morning….I wasn’t hot.” you say with a slight grin. He slowly brings out his own grin.

He only placed a hand over your thigh while asking for permission with his eyes. You lean forward to meet the touch of his lips.

He was encouraging with his eyes but you still slowly climb over him. It felt like you were going to slide back off of his body by how smooth his skin felt.

You didn’t mean to gasp out an “oh” as your now naked chest pressed and met his but, his hands were gentle.

“Tell me if I’m hurting you.” he said with a plea.

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

He doesn’t move. But, you do as you only close your eyes and press a gentle kiss on his lips. You then don’t move.

You felt so comfortable. You weren’t even hot at all.

You only broke the kiss, only resting your lips beside his lips because a deep snake of his hand rubbed up the skin of your back.

You let out a shaky breath as a certain point in your area started to pulsate with such need. His eyes were squeezed shut but he opened them back up because he wanted to look at you and he swallowed hard as he felt like he was drooling. It was the smell of your arousal that he wanted to bathe in.

He rubbed the head of his flesh back and forth on your entrance. The warm air mixed with the coolness that slowly glided on your twitchy spot made you put your cheek to his chest as you clutch on him.

Your body felt limp as you were completely melted. It was as if he brought you back to life. You were patient as he slowly poked at your entrance, trying to get it used to even the smallest amounts of penetration. Your body was relaxed due to his efforts earlier.

You kept shuddering as you grip him and the sheets. It wasn’t agony, it was wanting him to push in further as your body was trying to beg for him. He was slow but steady. He showed no signs of rush. It worked as you felt yourself feel more of him as he was able to pull some of himself out of you, it made a loud wet noise.

The morning felt crisp even though it pattered with rain. That’s how you found out you fell asleep. You moved your legs together a bit and you didn’t feel sore.

It felt like it rained on your ear. Lips mixed with a dart of a tongue met your ear slowly.

You shift to find his hand resting on your lower stomach as his flesh was resting hard on your hip.

He only scoot his hand down slowly. Your mouth was too busy being distracted by his.

“Do you want to look at the rain?” he finally whispered.

“Yes.” you whispered back.

Raindrops showered as you were actually enjoying the view of the sight.

It felt like you were being rained on just by watching.

He kissed your shoulder as he lay behind you, smoothing his hand over your arm in over your hand. You only scoot closer to him.

Fingers dance your face, you kiss them. You keep them to you your lips before you take one of his fingers were and taste it. Soon, he was groaning quietly as you sucked on his finger slowly.

He then moved his hand slow as it rested in front of your stomach. With a very soft press that he produced, your hips move back. You both sigh out in sync, his hand slowly trail down to the spot that was throbbing. You were afraid to move as you blinked at the dripping rain that dropped outside the large window.

His lips pressed on your neck as your breath hitched in his ears. Your heart beats against your chest in his ears.

You squeeze your eyes shut as you breathe out a small sigh, your hand touches a sheet but doesn't grip it. His finger was sitting right between your lips and it wasn't the ones that where on your face.

You're still. The feeling was intense and you were afraid if you moved, the moment would be ruined.

He used one finger to feel you. You were slippery in his touch. Your eyes never open as you couldn't hold them open. The overpowering tingling feeling from earlier came back. The finger dipped in your lubricant and slowly circled the swollen nub that made you shudder. Your hands grip tighter as he slowly adds another finger as he felt your body grow relaxed. It grew and grew until it spilled over as he makes a come here motion with his fingers inside of you.

He retracts his hand and rests it back on your stomach.

You say in a breathy tone still blinking at stars, "What's wrong?"

He lays on his back as he looks up. He doesn’t rush his words and it sounded melodic with the falling sound of the rain, “Nothing. Everything is great.” He just rubs the inside of your thigh as he glanced at it before trailing his eyes into yours.

Snuggling next to him, you both lie there. The patter of the rain float in your ears.

After some time, you sit up. You didn’t expect him to turn your face into a kiss. It was slow and sensual. He pulls you gently back down with him as he falls back into the pillows without breaking the kiss.

He hooks your leg over his hip so you could climb on him. You fall softly on his naked chest as the spot behind your knee made you twitch.

Your ache was strong as ever. You break the kiss as you slowly sit up. You let out a soft breath as his hands slowly caressed the front of you.

His hands stop at your hips as you both look down. Getting the right balance, you glide against the flesh that rested between the wet lips in between your legs.

He grips and released his fingers on your skin as clenched his fists with a breathy groan. You lean forward with your hands firm on the pillows beside his ears as you thrust more fluidly.

It was a rhythm of breaths that you both breathed out. Hips met each other like you two were dancing together.

He could keep his hands off of you then as both hands pressed you to his chest. You shuddered like it was winter as you continued to glide against him.

Hips were rising with frantic movements as you both zone out. You had to remember to breathe.

He flips you on your back with one movement, legs are open around his waist as he kissed your lips as he lays on top of you.

He slowly tries to sink in and you gasp not from pain, but easier it was to break through as he pulled out some. He slowly worked into you, the bed softly rocking under you.

Your legs are still open as he emptied on the sheets quickly. You watch him made him groan even more.

The smell. It made your ache grow even more even though you were out of breath. You run a hand down his arm as he brought you in his arms as he sat in the middle of the bed. You slowly sink down before rising back up.

“Slow.” he whispered.

“Slow…Slow.” you agree as you accept his kiss.

He hangs onto your back as you rub against him with the help of your hips.

You both groan out before you try again. You slowly allow your body to relax and you try your best to be patient. You move up and down on the bit of length that easily slipped inside of you.

His patience was something that you were grateful for. He was too absorbed into making your skin raise goosebumps with his hands as he couldn’t take your eyes off of you.

You were shocked when you stare at the fact that you were completely seated. You both don’t move as you two hold each other.

Slowly, his hips move and you clutch onto him like never before. You were focused on the feeling that was being produced.

You take in a breath because you forgot to breath and you breathe out a moan which he matched as he clutched onto you tighter.

“So this is sex.” you thought in your head as you felt your body relax and take him in. It felt good. You didn’t want it to end. You didn’t wonder if he enjoyed it too because gripped your skin and bit his lip at times. Lips kept connecting like both hips. His lips consumed the skin of your throat and collarbone.

You’re lifted off as you were overwhelmed with shudders and lying back as he emptied himself again. He lays back. The stars were more intense.

After a while, the stars went away but the buzz was still there when you looked at him.

He stripped the sheet that was messy before you fell into a deep slumber.

Your entire body was sore like you completely a head to toe fully body workout. You thought you were alone but you blink open your eyes and see Edward glaring up at the ceiling.

You blink at him. He then turns his head over a bit and it seemed like he would get in trouble if he looked at you.

“You didn’t like it.” you whisper as you then look down. He whispered your name like a song. You slowly look up.

“I liked it so much..That I broke my promise.”

You sit up and he doesn’t move.

“How?….What did you do?” you were in confusion.

He glanced at your body but it wasn’t in a happy expression. You blink back tears.

You get out of bed.

“Great. I get married and my husband doesn’t want my body.” you mutter and before you grab the robe, you’re spun to look to in the mirror.

“Look!” he almost growled. He was in deep pain by the look of his face and he wasn’t the one hurt. You look down. Bruised showed the markings of his fingers. Your lips were so bruised, there was a small nick, you licked your lips a bit.

“I promised…..I promised and I broke my promise.”

You look up and his reflection made your heart clench. You take his face. He lets his eyes fall.

“You kept your promise.” you say slowly and he looked up at you not taking what you’re saying seriously and you continue, “They’re love marks. You promised to love me and now I can look on my body and see proof of you loving me. I love it when you touch me.”

“Love marks.” he whispered as he tried to shake his head but his eyes said different. He graced his fingertips on your collarbone that showed a finger sized bruise. You continue to let your feathered touch of your fingers stay on his face. He leans gently to kiss it. He leans back up and sees that your eyes were closed and you slowly open them back up and he couldn’t deny the joy that was in your eyes. His eyes softened before he started to shake his head, feeling upset at himself once again.

“I thought I was careful….We have to be safe…I have to wait until you’re changed for us to go further.”

“Remember Edward? Slow? Just…Slower next time. You’re good with slow. We don’t have to stop. We can work this out together, it’s what we’re supposed to do.” you whisper carefully.

He closed his eyes as he takes in a soft breath.

“Don’t be scared. I don’t even hurt. This our chance to not hold back. We can finally stop holding back our love. It’s just us.” you say softly. He opens his eyes.

He lets you crush his lips with a kiss before you grin a bit at him. His face is less anxious which makes you glad.

“Let me make you something to eat….Okay?” he says quietly. You nod. You being dressed made him not look at what he’s done.

It was silent while you ate but it wasn’t uncomfortable. He just stared at you. Little to your knowledge, he was thinking about what you said about holding back and how after all, it’s just the two of you.

He cleans the dishes and you dry them and put them away.

You take his hand to the piano. He falls onto the bench gracefully and you’re surprised that he placed you right on his lap.

His hands are placed on the keys and he doesn’t move. You take your tentative time to place your hands in front of you on the piano.

He played a soft and calm piece. You felt his lips on the back on your shoulder.

“Are you going to teach me it?” you whisper to him after he was finished.

He placed his hands on the sides of your thighs that were clenched a bit due to you feeling excited.

“Do you want me to?”

“Yes.” you say.

You both make no effort to move and slowly rubs the surface of the skin he was touching.

“Are you sure…You don’t hate me?” he whispered with insecurity.

“I’m sure…I love you more than ever. You always make me feel so good.” you whisper to him as you smother your hands on his.

“I do?”

“Yes.”

Silence fills the air and he’s still. You’re almost worried until your body registers that his hands cup the front of you sensually. You lean back against him as you’re feeling breathless.

“I still want to touch you.” he whispered. You hum an encouraging tone.

He keeps his lips on your neck. He takes you both off of the bench. Hesitance was still on his face.

“Let’s go for a walk.” you say to make things easier.

He silently agrees. You both listen to the birds and the soft wind that shook the leaves of the nature around you two.

He holds your hand tightly. You speak so he wouldn’t think because you knew that that’s what he was doing.

“If you were a human boy, you would’ve gotten me pregnant already.”

A quiet chuckle escapes his lips.

“Carlisle told me to be safe. I don’t know what will happen if I ejaculate in you and I don’t want to find out. Not until you’re changed.”

“I won’t get pregnant.” you say.

“Still. My bodily fluids are venom. I don’t want that in your body…”

He then clears his throat that sounded like a melodic hum as he continues.

“When you’re changed, we literally can do whatever.” he says.

It made your face hot but he was surprised before displaying a smug expression. You nudge his arm as you walk away from him. He catches up to you in no time.

“Does this remind you of a song?” you ask as you gesture to the aesthetically pleasing nature. It looked straight out of a movie or a nature magazine.

“Maybe.” he says.

Quiet footsteps follow.

“So…Will we be coming back here when we…Take vacations in the future?” you ask hopefully.

“And…When we renew our vows.”

He heard your heart jump.

“I can’t believe I’m married.” you whisper with a smile. He smiles as well.

“Me neither to be honest.”

“I’m just curious….You’ve never been infatuated by another vampire? Forget human.”

He stuck his lips out a bit as he shakes his head, “Finding them pretty is one thing…Not enough to marry….You’re perfect.”

“Impossible. I’m not perfect.” you laugh.

“In my eyes you are.” he says. He says it like he genuinely couldn’t believe you didn’t believe what he was saying.

He went to the mainland to feed.

You cozied up with a book. The flip of the page is what made noise in the silent and large home.

The ring dazzled and you thought back to you and his talk earlier. You wondered what made him pick you as the one. You wondered what you and his future would look like. You let your eyes roam the cozy décor. You wondered how it would be like to return here as a vampire.

You turn on the bedroom lamp. You heard the door handle being pushed open as you lay in bed.

You lay back on your elbows as you watch him slowly enter the room. No words were spoken. The eyes talked a lot. You both wanted the same thing. Each other.

His knee rests between you as he leans slowly to taste your lips just once. You slowly open your eyes to find him staring at the lips he kissed. He leans in again and you respond with satisfaction.

You don’t realize him leaning you backwards until your head is rested on the pillows. He lets go of your lips then and you open your hooded eyes.

He runs his hands down your clothed body. You relax.

He placed a kiss on your throat as your arms were around him. His face was focused as you caressed his cheek. The center of you two were connected but not inserted.

He only shifts his hips and you hang tight to him. A shaky breath made him motivated as there was more feeling behind his movements. You both lock eyes as you both felt achy.

He lays you on your back. He rests two arms next to your head.

“Please tell me if I hurt you.”

“I promise.” you say and touch his cheek with the hand your promise ring sat on. The kiss was sensual before he slowly rocked his hips against your entrance. You felt your body be excited and start to get ready for him to come in your world.

You heard the bed creak under you both as keeps your legs against his chest, as he slowly pushes in.

Edward heard the whisper of the word more come from your mind. It almost startled him but it only seemed to motivate him.

You both groan quietly together as you both finally connected as one. He slowly leans downward, your legs now over his shoulders and he kisses you. His hands clench the sheets and raise over you, heard another creak.

You gasp in small doses as he circled and worked his hips but he pulls out. He lays on his side and invited you in. You lay on your side as well and his hand hooks your leg on his hip as he slowly pushes in. You sigh out as he touches and the slow thrust affected you greatly. His touches made your hips respond but you leech on the tingles that made you feel good.

You shudder and slump on him as he precisely moves his hips. You both meet each other’s hips like a slow dance. You both lowly whisper each other’s names as it sounded like a duet.

There’s times where he stills his slow thrusts to let just his hands appreciate your body but you didn’t care. Everything felt too good. You only give him encouraging touches until he pulls out with a groan and you saw the clear substance spill in his hand. You were asleep by the time he came back from the bathroom.

The sounds of birds chirping let you know that your face was smushed in the sheets. You slowly raise your head and all that you seen was white. You’re confused.

A handful of feathers fall out of your open but sleep hand. Falling from your head.

“Good morning.” he says quietly.

You look up with a tired grin, “Good morning.”

You search his face to see if he was scared but he wasn’t. He was content. He was at ease. More at ease than you seen him.

“Feathers?” you say with a slight smirk.

“….You know how…I would be still…To collect myself?”

You nod as your face became heated.

“I ended up biting a pillow….Or two..”

You look around the white covered mess that looked like snow. You put a hand to your mouth as you look back at him with a soft smile.

“I ordered housekeeping. They should be here any minute.” he says quietly.

You nod and he watched greedily as the sheet falls from your body and move out of the bed. He sits on the edge of the bed, naked himself, and wraps his arms around your midsection which surprised you because you were really going to get dressed.

He only looked up at you and pressed a kiss on the side of your stomach. Then the side of your hip. You lean down and capture his lips. He took breaks from your lips as his eyes were squeezed shut but always chased for more as he kissed on more skin. The skin that wasn’t freshly bruised this time.

You climb on him and he’s slowly going backwards as your lips don’t disconnect. Both hands are firmly on your back and backside.

A loud but muffled knock startled you and he rested his lips on your neck before saying, “We have to get dressed.”

You stand with your tea cup as you watch the woman and man enter the home.

“This is Kaure and her husband Gustavo.” Edward introduced them to you and he introduces you to them.

Edward speaks to them fluently in a language that they spoke back in and they showed stand offish nature. They head to the bedroom where the mess was made, but making sure to steal peaks at you.

Edward pulls out a chair at a small table and you have a seat. His legs greedily touch yours as you both sit quietly with each other. He reached out for your hand and gently pressed it and holds it to his lips with two of his hands.

You look over and see Gustavo carrying large wooden pieces to the headboard out.

The woman timidly comes out with bags of the feathers that were spilled in the room. She especially, placed a careful eye on the both of you.

Edward held the hand lazily that rested on the table. You look up from your cup to see him contently watching you.

“I will replace it…I’m sorry.” he whispered.

You pull the hand that he was holding yours in, and press them to your own lips.

You spent time snorkeling with him. He didn’t need any assistance in oxygen but you were glad to let him lure you into such beautiful waters.

Wet and amazed by the sea life, you both sit in the warm and pale sand.

“Make a sandcastle with me.” you say as you grab a small bucket.

His skin shined and sparkled like the sand.

You fell on the tower that you both made and he laughs at you.

“Of course I messed it up.”

“It gives us an excuse to use the shower.” he says as he brushed the sand off of you.

You’re on his back as he makes his way back to the house.

The home was empty but tidied up.

After a long shower, you both fiddle around on the weighted keys on the piano.

“Do you think I could still…Enter a competition?” you ask in a whisper.

He stops playing which makes you stop.

“Y/N.” he says with a sigh.

“At least the one in Italy.”

“Are you out of your mind?” he asks. You sigh.

“I’m talking about when I’m changed…”

“That’s worse.” he says, biting back a mean tone, but you could tell it was on the edge.

“I could-“

“Y/N. It’s not happening…It would be nice if we don’t talk about this anymore…”

You sat still as he rises up from next to you. You watch as he takes a stand next to the piano instead, shoving his hands in his pockets as he stood still. You let your eyes fall to the keys in front of you.

The sound of the wall clock ticked and you stand as well.

You walk past him and you turned on the television. Sitting down on the couch, you watch a satire show.

Edward entered and seen your hands. They were tapping a bit. Rhythmically. You were too entrapped in the television to notice.

Sitting next to you, he takes your hand. The hand that’s now still, and pressed them to his lips. The smile you displayed made him feel a surge of warmth.

He caressed your face before he leaves out. You open your eyes from the sweet lip embrace you two had. He was gone.

A knock on the actual front door surprises you and Kaure, the housekeeper, looked frightened. You invite her in when she handed you a wrapped plate. It smelled deliciously strong.

“Thank you..Did you make this?” you ask sweetly.

She nods with a tight lip smile as she comes in. She takes your hand to grab your attention and shakes her head.

She begins to speak in a foreign language but shakes her head with a slight wag of her finger, “Do bad.”

“Who?” you ask. You wondered if someone was trying to do something bad to her but she didn’t look that scared. She looked like she was warning someone.

She points to the bedroom and points to the faded bruises on your arms. You got the idea.

“He’s my husband…Sorry that we got carried away.” you say shyly with slight embarrassment.

“Libishomen!”

You didn’t know what that meant but fear was deep in her eyes. The word held weight in her tongue.

Edward wasn’t surprised to see her when he came back in while you were watching a foreign, vintage romance film.

You whispered to each other on the couch as you’re snug sideways on his lap as she mopped the kitchen floor.

“She brought me a cooked plate. It was great.”

“It was a front. She came to see if I killed you.”

“She said something like Libish..Something.”

“Libishomen. A demon who preys exclusively on beautiful women.”

“Im beautiful?” you try to joke.

“Gorgeous.” he answers seriously.

You both lean in with a soft smile and you both don’t get to fall into the kiss because as soon as Edward places a kiss under your jaw, you hear her voice say, “No, sir!”

You’re startled and sit up as you look at her worried eyes and Edward rests his hand on your knee. He doesn’t look surprised.

She retreats back to the kitchen and you share a look with Edward.

“Come on, let me beat you in chess again.” he says and carries you up over his shoulder as you laugh.

Your queen takes his queen. You peak up at his face and it was killing you how much of a poker face he was displaying.

You throw up your hands slightly when he placed his rook right next to your king. He then lets you hear a chuckle before saying, “Check.”

You fake a yawn while stretching and push the board a bit away from you, showing no more interest in the game. It was clear he was going to win anyway.

“Boy, I sure am tired.” you say humorously as you obnoxiously fake yawn and he’s smiling as he clears the board.

“You’re tired?” he asks quietly.

You look at him.

He looks at you.

“Yeah.” you say quietly even though you weren’t. He doesn’t take his eyes off of you and it makes you overwhelming nervous as you display a shy grin as you come to a stand.

He stands as well. He lets you lead him back in the home as he holds on to some of your fingers. Kaure were gone.

She had left as you both were playing the game.

You both were very quiet as you followed him to the bedroom.

His satisfied groans as he looked at you made you nervously look back at him. Your underwear was around your ankle as your hands were steady on the bed. Back and forth he rubbed his hardened flesh against the wet center that held your shaky legs. His hands firmly on your hips and would caress your back.

You slowly raise your knee and press it on the bed, leaning forward with a breathy moan. He slowly followed you forward with his own wet kiss on your back. He makes sure to grope and hold you up with the front of your body. Your hands are still on the bed but your arms are trembling. You feel him push in slowly, he doesn’t let you fall forward.

Your hands grips the sheets in front of you as he made painfully slow but heavy pumps.

Your breaths became shaky like your body. Your legs couldn’t hold you up anymore so you both land forward with your chest pressed on the bed. Soon, you found yourself whining as his chest was pressed on your back as he still thrusted slowly but steadily. Legs were intertwined with each other’s as you shuddered uncontrollably. The slow and wet kisses in your ear and cheek didn’t help. Not with his breathy moans.

You wake up to whispering. Hisses. You slowly blink your eyes open.

Edward was in the room. However, he was clothed and pacing as he talked into an a communication object. His teeth gritted before rolling his eyes with an agitated groan.

He tossed it on the edge of the bed in defeat. He immediately knows that you’re awake. You get out of bed and he stands perfectly still.

“Are you okay?” you whispered. You were scared that he would blame himself for hurting you, but your body was fine. You knew it was fine because you remembered every second. Your wonders are disregarded as he held you to him possessively.

“I’m okay.” he says as he peered down at you, “Let’s just start our day.”

He doesn’t leave. He stays in the room as he watched you. You both get dressed.

“Edward. Tell me what’s wrong.” you say anxiously as you shake his still arm.

“What did whoever say?” you ask.

The look on his face was dripping with reluctance.

“We have to leave.”

“Wha…? What? Why?” you say as your heart quickened.

You catch up to him in the living room with a jog after you watch him hastily pack everything like a tornado. It wasn’t even ten seconds before everything was by the front door.

You slowly walk back to the bedroom and sit down on the bed with your arms crossed. You were starting to be upset. You didn’t want to go back to the real world. You both agreed to soak in every moment here. Just like that, you were awakened from your dream.

He kneels down and placed two hands on your knees. You don’t even look at him.

“They know. They know that the wedding happened…” he tells you.

“Who were you on the phone with?” you ask quietly.

“Alice….The Volturi are impatient.”

Your heart pounds in your ears.

“So..Are they coming?”

“No.” he says. You blink in relief.

“So, why are we leaving?” you asked emotionally.

“Alice saw Caius planning a search party to see if you had changed.”

You swallowed and shake your head with a furrow of your eyebrows. You remembered the tracker. Everything was unfair.

“Look at me…Please?”

You meet his golden gaze.

“Do you mind us settling in Alaska?”

“No….I don’t mind.” you say quietly. He then nods slowly but full of hope.

“I thought you didn’t like it there?” you ask because you didn’t want him to be forced somewhere he didn’t like.

“Only because of Tanya…” he tries to smile a bit but the situation was too serious, “I know how close you are to them. You need that especially right now…”

You nod.

“We even have a surprise waiting there for us.” he says trying to cheer you up.

Your smile was shaky but he understood. He pressed an affectionate kiss to you before you watch him leave out.

He watched you keep staring back at the disappearing home as you both walked out.

“It’s okay. We will be back.” he says trying to cheer you up. You nod.

He helped you back on in the boat after you both walked the dock.

After sleeping on the plane, you saw the mountains and the landscape that whizzed past you as the car drove.

The car stopped. You looked up at the beautiful home as you stood outside of the home.

“Esme’s wedding gift to us.” he tells you quietly.

A genuine smile formed on your face. Your arms were crossed as you slowly walk in and take in the new and warm home that you were going to share with your new husband. It really felt like home.

You sit down slowly on the bedroom bed. Your mind was still going a mile a minute.

“You don’t have to worry.” he says as he sits next to you.

You don’t say anything for a moment.

“So….Will they come here?”

“No…But, we instead go there.”

“To Italy?!” you ask in disbelief as you tilt your head to get a better look at him.

“You won’t be a human when we do…Alice says it’s best if we made a surprise visit. It will catch them off guard.” he says sadly. He heard your heart quicken.

“Nothing bad will happen to you.” he reassured quietly. He didn’t like it just as much as you, but he just couldn’t lie.

“How soon?” you ask.

“Not long.” he says quietly, you almost had to strain to make it reach your ears.

That night while he was gone, you talked to Rosalie.

“I want to give my cat to Charlie. He’s alone in that house.” you tell her over the phone. You were a bit sad but you knew that your new future wouldn’t allow your cat to be comfortable with you. You would rather give it to someone to help them just as much as it helped you.

“That’s nice of you.”

“But keep it anonymous. Make it seem like it’s a stray cat that won’t go away or something.”

“Okay. I will make the call for you and call your sitter.”

“Thank you.” you tell her sadly.

“So…Besides the parade being rained on..How was the honeymoon?”

You tell her how much you and Edward enjoyed yourselves, even telling her that it seemed like you both got to know each other even more. She seemed very happy for you. You could hear the smile in her voice.

“Marriage is fun. Especially with the person you love…I didn’t want you to change into one of us Y/N. But…I understand your circumstance.”

“Maybe…I would be able to be at ease after everything that’s going on is over.”

“The thing that worries me is with Aro and what he’s going to plan when he sees you.”

“Did Alice see anything?”

“I haven’t spoken to Alice after she told us what the Volturi were planning…I’m coming to visit you soon. I just have to talk to Edward.”

“Okay.”

The entire family came when you woke up that next morning.

You hug them and they all hug you tightly back. It sounded like collective wind chimes as they all spoke and told you how much they missed you and Edward.

Alice brought clothes.

“I need my sister to be the best dressed in Alaska.” she says with a bright smile.

You and Rosalie grin as you hang them up in your spacious closet.

Talks turned serious when Carlisle spoke to you and Edward in the office of the home.

“What we can do is give Y/N some anesthesia.” Carlisle speaks out.

Edward stared at you the entire time. His cold hand was tight but not tight enough to be painful.

“Why do I have to be knocked out?”

“It’s painful.” Edward says.

“How painful?” you ask.

“I don’t want to tell you.” he says as he shuts his eyes closed. He remembered the pain he was in, even in his delirious and sickly state.

“What happens when it wears off?” you ask curiously. The last thing you wanted was to be woken up in pain.

Carlisle rises up and Edward walks you to the room where they plan to make it happen. It looked like a home hospice. Carlisle points to an IV.

“I will give you more when needed.”

“Okay.” you sigh out as you look at the bed.

Edward looked like he was already in pain as he held your hand tight.

“You don’t have to do it while she’s awake, son.”

He kissed your forehead and the crown of your head.

“I don’t want to do it at all.” he says quietly. Carlisle gives him a look of sympathy.

You pause as you looked around.

“Should I fake…My death?” you wondered. Carlisle looks down for a moment before looking at you.

“…Do you want to?” Carlisle quietly asks.

The thought of never seeing your parents again frightened you. You didn’t know if you could do such thing. But then again, what if you blindly drained them due to being so hungry for blood?

“I don’t know.” you answer honestly. You then blink at Edward, “Will the others be here…?”

“Of course.” he whispered. He became sadder as the conversation progressed.

You nod.

“Y/N..You don’t have to fake your death….There’s ways around it.”

You stress that your parent is going to eventually want to see you.

“They will notice.” you say. “They will know that…Something is off about me.”

“You can still write and send letters…You’re too busy traveling.” Edward says.

You nod as he holds both of your hands.

“I feel like with good planning, things will be okay.” Carlisle says confidently.

“Where’s Siobhan when you need her?” you whispered. Two chuckles ring out.

“Things will be fine, Y/N. You will still be you. You will just have to say goodbye to human food.” he says. You smile.

You look to Edward.

You look to Carlisle.

“Can I talk to him…Alone?” you ask Carlisle.

“Of course. We’ll just come back.” he says and he’s off.

Edward sits in a chair and leans back.

“Edward?”

“Yes?”

You rub his shoulder. You then lean and kiss his cheek.

“Please, don’t be sad.” you whisper.

He forced a bright smile, “I’m not.”

“You’re not fooling anyone.” you whisper and he fades it away. He brings you to him and you sit sideways on his lap.

“I’d never thought I would be this stressed before.” he whispers to you.

A soft caress meets his cheek, “Don’t be stressed. I’m still right here.”

He reaches and caressed you cheek before cradling the side of your face. He blinked and keeps his eyes closed.

“Y/N. I will miss this…Your human reactions…You’ll be a monster..Like me.”

“You’re not a monster.”

“I was when I was a newborn. Something that you will be soon.”

“Aren’t you going to be there?”

“Every step of the way.” he says seriously. “I’m not leaving your side.”

You smile, “Okay then..You will make sure I don’t go crazy…You inspire me, Edward. You’re so smart and loving and I get to spend forever with you. Just you.”

He nods slowly.

“At least….There won’t be anymore love marks.” he whispered. You grinned.

“You’ve already mastered ways around them.” you say with breathlessness.

“I want you to still play piano with me.”

“Duh.” you say.

“That’s our thing.” he says. You nod.

“Promise me….Promise..That it’s our thing. You won’t forget about playing.”

You caress his face with the hand that had the promise ring on your hand and he kisses it.

“I promise…I would be crazy to…Plus, its our thing…Nobody plays as good as you.” you whisper confidently.

“You giving me a big head, Y/N.”

“Good.” you say and you both chuckle.

He hugged you as you lean into him.

You wondered if things would be different when you change. You wondered why Edward was a bit frightened of it all but you had good faith that him and the rest of the Cullens will be at your side. You just really wondered how everything will play out once you do change.

[theboredasexual]

I think someone's made a post like this before but from memory, Karl genuinely kills 4 people, yes, making him officially a serial killer. However, in one of the timelines, he also gets charged for the murders of Colloway and Esther (which i am eternally furious about). Legally, his kill count is 6.

Alfred I do not think kills anybody, although in Victorian England suicide is considered a crime, so legally he kills one person.

Shahara gets blurry. I don't think its a stretch to think she's killed people by the time 2053 rolls around, but I guess there's no way to know or count it. I would say she causes a lot of deaths, but that was accidental and indirect and cannot be entirely considered her fault. I'm gonna say her kill count is 0 as far as we know.

Iris is also hard to tell, because Defoe splits into four versions of himself (THAT WE KNOW OF), all of which die. They're one person, but three bodies and three different deaths. Does that make Iris a mass murderer? Or is it a single count of murder, because technically on person died, just four times... no idea. I'm gonna give her 1 kill count.

Oh yeah and Elias is a mass murderer and a terrorist, he kills about half a million people or something like that. That part was very hard to determine, very complicated, be proud of me I'm so skilled

need a kill count chart for Bodies (2023) because of the main four I'm pretty sure Shahara, Alfred and Iris don't kill anyone, but dear old Charlie more than makes up for that with like 4 cold blooded murders.

[radicalli57]

Different topic; Misogyny extended to other female animals.

Artificial insemination and forcefully breeding female animals is sexually exploiting an animal.

I work within the equine industry as a positive reinforcement trainer, and the treatment mares get is absolutely horrific. Almost everyone who owns a mare will breed them, and majority of the time the mare has no say. It is such common practice to tie a mare up so that she cannot move and force a stallion on her. Left to her own choice a mare is capable of killing a stallion if he refuses to leave her alone, she cannot even try to escape or deter him in the position she is forced in.

This is the reality for so many female animals in captivity, and the reasoning is always a misogynistic one which removes the female’s autonomy in her reproduction.

Mares and many other female animals in the wild pick the male, it is their choice whether they choose to breed or not, humans (majority males, I rarely see females preform these practices) take this choice away from them.

There are unfortunately a lot of women who engage in these practices with animals, and the disconnect they have to their fellow female animals is disturbing.

[bestworstcase]

I hope I’m not weird or offensive for thinking this that Oz and the GoL relationship has abuse undertones. I go as far as it reminding me of sexual violence. The violation of bodily autonomy, lack of informed consent, using someone else’s body for one’s personal use, sense of domination from the perpetrator, the victim having a fucked sense of self and self-hatred. The GoL is also Salem’s abuser who violated her autonomy and consent so it’s not out of character for him. RWBY has handled similar topics like Adam and Blake so it’s not like uncharted territory. I even seen ppl claim that the Curious Cat has similar undertones considering what they did to Neo.

"undertones"--even in the extremely biased narration of the lost fable, jinn, telling the story as ozpin understands it, draws an overt equivalency between the god of light and SALEM'S FATHER. you know,

What more could a man want? Just one thing: a son and heir. When his wife became pregnant, the whole castle rejoiced. But soon the lord’s fortune reversed. His beloved fell ill, gave birth to a baby girl, and lost her own life in the process. The lord locked his daughter in the highest tower of the castle and retreated to his chambers to grieve. Only he and the girl’s nanny were allowed in or out of her tower room, on punishment of death. Many weeks passed before the lord visited his baby girl for the first time, and he refused to hold her no matter how much the nanny encouraged or even begged him to. Over the years, his daily visits grew shorter. Then they became visits two or three times a week. By his daughter’s eleventh birthday, he was visiting only once a week. “Why must I stay in this tower?” the girl would ask him. “I am protecting you from anything or anyone that might harm you. You are the most precious thing in the world to me. I could not bear to lose you.” He brought her food and presents: dresses and hairpins, brushes and dolls, but nothing that she could use against him or to take her own life. [...] Meanwhile, miserable and alone, the lord’s sorrow gradually twisted into resentment. He raged against the unfairness of the gods and took out his anger on his staff. He became obsessed with increasing his wealth, as if money could replace the love of his life, increasing land taxes on his tenants and cutting his staff’s wages. Paranoid about losing all he cherished, he dismissed half of his servants and replaced them with trained soldiers to protect his riches and defend his castle. By the girl’s sixteenth birthday, the king was visiting only once a month, whenever the whole moon was visible from her tower window. “This was your mother’s favorite place in the castle,” he told the girl. “She loved gazing out that window.” “And now it is my prison,” the girl said. “You aren’t my prisoner. You’re my daughter.” “Then let me go,” she begged. “I cannot. Someone would abduct you and demand a ransom,” the lord said. “Or worse.” But the girl realized that the lord did not love her as a parent loves a child. Rather, he thought of her as just one of his treasures, to be jealously hoarded like his gold and jewels. […] “What is it?” the knight asked. “What else would make you happy, my dear?” Freedom, she thought. But she bit back the word, for that kind of talk made him angry and violent.

the man who was so viciously abusive that this is how ozpin depicted him in a sanitized fairytale account of what happened.

note, for emphasis, that by the time salem was eleven she was so actively suicidal that her father had to vet every object that went into her room against the risk that she might try to kill herself with it, and he didn't care.

ozma modeled beacon academy after salem's father's castle and put the headmaster's office at the top of the tower—in her cell. whether or not he could actually articulate this feeling consciously, deep down he regards the god of light as an abusive parent too powerful to defeat or escape. and we have seen, with light, that he becomes angry and violent whenever something doesn't go his way and that his immediate, first reaction to one of his creations doing anything he doesn't approve is brutal murder. he tears jabber apart, incinerates ozma, bites salem, shrugs when his brother vaporizes mankind. his ultimatum for remnant is "obey me or die." there's no undertones he is explicitly abusive toward everyone he comes into contact with including his brother.

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

Autopsy of a Scene: “Ellen's Possession”

Context

Victorian society (early 19th century): Wives were their husband’s property; sex as marital duty and for male pleasure alone (women's sexuality owned by their husbands); married heterosexual sex was the only socially acceptable sexual expression; women seen as innocent and naïve (infantilization); marriage and motherhood as women's destiny; men as providers and authoritarian figures (wives must obey their husbands); love vs. passion (opposites concepts);

Literary themes: the "threat of female sexuality" from "Dracula" by Bram Stoker; the figure of the "sick woman" as one of the principal ways in which female sexuality manifests as a contagious disease;

Ellen's supernatural gifts (trance mediumship) medicalized by Victorian society as "hysteria" and "melancholy"

Ellen and Count Orlok "countdown"

When Orlok arrives at Wisburg, Ellen gives him entrance into the Harding household by opening the window to him, dooming everyone inside (Orlok has to be invited in, like every strigoi, and the narrative establishes this several times). This is the first time they are meeting "in the flesh". Ellen accuses him of corrupting her innocence and of being a villain, to which he replies he's an appetite because she cursed him to be a strigoi when she bought him back from the dead ("O’er centuries, a loathsome beast I lay within the darkest pit ‘til you did wake me, enchantress, and stirred me from my grave. You are my affliction"). Orlok tells her that Thomas has signed an annulment of their marriage in exchange for a bag of gold, and that Ellen is promised to him, but she needs to accept him of her own free will ("the compact commands she must willingly re-pledge her vow. She cannot be stolen").

Ellen is both attracted and disgusted by him, and claims to hate Orlok, and he accuses her of being false. Ellen being repulsed by Orlok is connected to her inner conflict about her own sexuality, and her sexual cravings (all connected to Orlok himself). And so, he vows to prove his hostility, too, giving her three nights (which are, in fact, two) for her to accept him.

The first night was the present, and she denied herself by denying her nature, and so Ellen will suffer him, the monster of her own creation, to vanish the lives of those she loves. And Orlok tells her she will "submit" on the third night, otherwise “he you call your husband shall perish by my hand”. Until she commands him to come to her, “shall you watch the world become as naught”.

Orlok cannot actually kill Thomas without being given entrance into his house (invited in), but this empty threat has another purpose; Orlok is set on destroying Ellen’s Victorian self-deception ("you deceive yourself"), and forcing her to see what he told her twice already (“you are not for the living, you are not for human kind”). He wants her to see that her nature will never be accepted by Victorian society.

“It is not me. It is your own nature.”

Friedrich Harding kicks Ellen and Thomas out of his house

Friedrich Harding (unlike his wife and Thomas) isn't so convinced of Ellen’s innocence and naivety, and he resents her because of what she represents; not only “sickness”, but mostly female sexuality ("the threat of female sexuality" as a contagious disease), and he doesn't want her near his wife and daughters ("I thought it was agreed you were to keep the girls from her. You mustn’t be swept up in her fairy ways"), and reluctantly accepts this friendship between Anna and Ellen out of respect for Thomas. Friedrich recognizes his own nature in Ellen (“rutting goat”; “always hungry”): “her dashing young husband is leaving her bedside cold” as he jokes with Thomas before his departure. And he tells Ellen himself: “I am most sensitive to your ardent nature”. But he's a man, and she's a woman.

This will culminate with Friedrich blaming Ellen for Anna's sickness and demand Thomas and Ellen to return to their own home, even though he loves them both. Friedrich represents the “Victorian patriarch”, while Anna is the “ideal Victorian woman”, a devoted wife and mother, God-fearing and respectable. Ellen tries to explain to Friedrich that Professor Von Franz is right, it's a demon. But, Friedrich won't have any of that, because he already made up his mind. Ellen spend the night with Anna and, now, she's sick with a "blood plague": the culprit is Ellen's contagion. And he scolds her for her behavior (nature): “Find the dignity to display the respect for your caretaker” and calls her a "social embarrassment" to Thomas by behaving the way she does: “And for your husband’s sake, I pray you might learn how to conduct yourself with more deference".

Ellen thinks both Orlok and Friedrich Harding are wrong about Thomas; he loves her, and, as such, he doesn't see her as "social embarrassment" nor does he rejects her nature. She tells Orlok: "you know nothing of him" and "you are a deceiver"; and, in Ellen's mind, Harding's words are motivated by his hatred of her ("Why do you hate me? You never liked me. Never."). And so, that very night, Ellen is set to prove both Orlok and Harding wrong, and reassure herself that Thomas fully accepts her. And this is the context of Ellen's possession scene, and we'll have parallels to both in the scene itself.

The "Possession scene"

Back at their house, Thomas tells Ellen they must run away and leave town, she's in danger because a "devil" has come to Wisburg for her. And this is when Ellen reveals to Thomas her personal history with Orlok (past lovers), because she trusts Thomas, and knows he will understand: "I know him."

Ellen reveals to him she was the one who unleashed Orlok ("I have brought this evil upon us") because she wanted company and tenderness: "At first it was sweet, I had never known such bliss. Yet it turned to torture, it would kill me. But Thomas, it was you that gave me the courage to be free of my shame – you!" And Thomas is confused, because he doesn't know what she is talking about ("what do you mean by this?"; "what are you telling me?").

“I have never shared my secret with any soul."

And Ellen is herself baffled because Thomas doesn’t understand what she is saying: "Don’t you understand? You cannot understand?" Of course Thomas doesn't understand, because women are suppose to be innocent and naïve, with no knowledge of the world, less alone of sexual matters. And she's talking about "sweetness" and "bliss" in connection to a "devil" who attacked him, violently, and from which he barely escaped alive.

And Ellen tells Thomas that Orlok is the reason why she's medicalized ("melancholy", the diagnose the Victorian doctors gave her), and he's her "shame" ("hysteria") because Victorian women aren't suppose to have sexual desire, and every sexual expression outside of (heterossexual) marriage is seen as evil and sinful. Sex was a marital duty, often seen as a painful task women had to go throught to have children; and women's sexuality was owned and controlled by their husbands. And this is why Orlok is Ellen's "shame", he's not only her repressed sexual desire, her sexuality.

"He is my shame! He is my melancholy!" | "You are my affliction."

And while Thomas is still digesting this information, Ellen takes upon herself to show him her true nature, her mediumship, as she starts her communication with the spiritual realm. Is she even speaking to Orlok here? Or she just connects to the other side to make a point?

"He told me about you. He told me how foolish you were. How fearful. How like a child. How you fell into his arms as a swooning lily of a woman. He told me how you sold me to him for gold. Our love was supposed to be sacred."

"Your husband has signed his name, and covenanted you to my person for but a sack of gold. For gold he did absolve his nuptial bond."

Ellen starts by weaponizing Thomas ambition against him, because she knows he values money (gold): he wishes to climb the social ladder, being “no longer a pauper” who needs to ask his wealthy friend, Friedrich, for money, drowning himself in debt. As he tells Ellen at the beginning of the film, he aspires to buy them “a fine house” of their own (implying the one they live in, is probably rented), with “a maidservant”. Ellen says she’s doesn’t need any of that, all she needs is his love: and, indeed, she married “down”, because Ellen comes from a wealthy family, and we see the contrast between her family house in the prologue (a manor), and the small apartment she shares with Thomas (with old and damaged wallpaper).

Thomas wants to fulfill his "Victorian husband" gender role: marriage was the institution where Victorian men fully accomplished their male responsibility and privilege: to form a household, provide safety and comfort, and exercise authority over dependents (wife and children) where the trademark of a successful man. This was also connected to their social and professional success, making them respectful in the eyes of other men. A man who couldn’t govern his wife was also seen as unfit, socially, professionally and morally.

“You never listen. Well where is it? Your money? Your promotion? Your house? Where is that which is so precious to you? Have you paid back kind Harding your debt? Have you repaid him with this plague that infects his wife? [I left for us, for our future] For what? For what? For these… things?!”

"Hartmann will call you a coach, at my expense – of course."

Thomas wants to be a good Victorian husband, and tells her: "I left for us, for our future. For you!" But Ellen is showing him he's a failure as a "Victorian husband", that he doesn't belong to this society, either, and they are meant for each other. Because she doesn't care about material goods nor being wealthy ("we needn't any of that!"), all that Ellen wants is his love, and to be his greatest treasure, because money doesn't matter, "they are already dead". She doesn't want to be married to a patriarch like Friedrich Harding ("stupid and cruel").

Now, we have to talk about the importance of Ellen's corset to the plot, which was confirmed by costume designer Linda Muir in an interview with "The Art of Costume":

"One example of costume design serving the plot, as you mentioned, is Ellen’s corset. I came across a particular style called a fan-laced corset during my research, which I’ve also referred to as a “self-tying corset”—though it doesn’t actually tie itself! This type of corset can be tightened from the front, allowing the wearer to adjust it independently. For Robert, this design was ideal. When Ellen is in the throes of her supernatural connection with Orlok, the men around her—Sievers and Harding—try to impose control by tightening her corset. Because of the fan-laced design, we can see her anguish and convulsions, as well as the men’s oppressive actions, without needing to obscure her face or body by laying her prone. This moment is a perfect example of how research and storytelling can come together harmoniously in costume to enhance a scene."

Historically, corsets have always been considered an instrument of women’s oppression, so it’s not surprising to see them having the same meaning in “Nosferatu” (2024). Corsets were restrictive devices that rendered women immobile, passive and prone to fainting, and the Feminist movement of the 20th century saw them as “as one of the quintessential Victorian social horrors”. Corsets were also considered a sign of respectability, because they controlled the body, and, by extension, physical passions.

And, indeed, we see Ellen corset consume her, to the point she tries to break free from it during this scene with Thomas, as he begs her to stop it "Ellen, please!"

Ellen is desperate to break free from Victorian society medicalization and expectactions of her. She wants freedom, she wants to be herself in a society which will never accept her, and will always restrain her (metaphorically and literally) not only with drugs and tying her to the bed, but with gender roles of marriage and children. And she shows Thomas her true self, her nature, her mediumship. Because she needs to be sure he accepts her, to prove both Orlok and Harding wrong.

Not knowing how to handle the situation, Thomas does what Victorian society tell him to do: call the doctor to deal with Ellen. "I shall send for Doctor Sievers." A doctor that will contain her with drugs and/or tie her to the bed, who will restrain her nature, and she doesn't want that. And she breaks off her trance. And in this scene we see that Ellen does have control over her trances, as she snaps out of it, at will.

As she ends her communication with the spiritual realm, she kneels before Thomas, in full submission, and promises to be good: "Please. I’ll be good, I’ll be good." She'll be a good Victorian wife to him, and sees the relief on his face. That's the kind of wife he wants, and Harding's words haunt this scene: "Find the dignity to display the respect for your caretaker. And for your husband’s sake, I pray you might learn how to conduct yourself with more deference."

“Please, have pity. I throw myself at your feet. Why can you not hear me? Listen to me, please!"

“No! No! Please. I’ll be good, I’ll be good."

Then, Ellen gives him the final insult of saying "You could never please me as he could", which parallels "Remember how once we were? A moment. Remember?"

However, here, we have two points of view, both focused on Orlok:

Ellen is taunting Thomas to stir him to be passionate, and only sees the wildness of his next action, because that's the kind of passion Ellen desires and craves, and she wants Thomas to prove he can give it to her, and for Orlok to see that love is not inferior to her, after all.

"Let him see. Let him see our love!" | "Love is inferior to you."

"Kiss my heart! My heart!" | "Yet I cannot be sated without you."

But Ellen's pleasure is not what Thomas seeks here, because Victorian women "don't have sexual pleasure". Sex is a marital duty, and the only pleasure here is male, because husbands own their wives' sexuality. Which is why Thomas calls Ellen a "doting wife" at the beginning of the film: in Victorian context this doesn't mean "loving" or "adoring", but "devoted" as in "excessively submissive". Ellen's sexuality isn't hers, it belongs to Thomas, and that's why Thomas thinks of her as "a doting wife": to him, it's not about her having sexual pleasure, it's her fulfilling her role as a Victorian wife of pleasing him. And a scene which parallels the last scene between Ellen and Orlok.

So, when Ellen tells him "you could never please me as he could", he’s interpreting this as Orlok having “defiled" his wife, and he's taking ownership over her, again. Because she's his wife, and she belongs to him, not to Orlok. Her sexuality belongs to him, not to another man, and, surely, not to herself.

But as Ellen grows wild and more animalistic, Thomas recoils from her, terrified. Ellen laughs and says she'll become a demon without him (because husbands control their wives' sexuality, and without a husband Victorian women's sexuality becomes "evil", "sinful", and, yes, "demonic") and she's unclean (because of her sexual cravings, her sickness, her "contagion", and also reference to the "Dracula" novel, and she got kicked out of the Hardings household because of it).

And now, Thomas vows to destroy Orlok, himself: "I’ll kill him! He shall never harm you again. Never!" after Ellen says she must go to Orlok, otherwise he'll kill Thomas, taking away her agency, because she's not asking for his help, she's saying she must go to Orlok.

And until this point, Ellen was possibly consider sacrificing herself (“we can’t leave”) because of Thomas ("it was you who gave me the courage to be free of my shame. You.") and/or because she feels guilt over unleash him to the world ("I have brought this evil upon us"), but that's not what the "compact commands", because "compelled" does not equal "willingly", and Orlok knows this. And this is the scene that changes everything.

Now, Thomas blames Orlok for Ellen's "sickness". Orlok is the true responsable for his wife's "medical condition", not her supernatural gifts. In Thomas mind, she was corrupted by him, and he turned her into a "melancholic hysteric". And it will be all over once Orlok is destroyed, because his wife will be "normal" and a "perfect Victorian wife" to him, then. Thomas didn't understand what Ellen just told and showned him. She revealed to have unleashed Orlok ("I have brought this evil upon us"), that they were lovers and she enjoyed it ("at first it was sweet, I had never known such bliss”), and she displayed her true nature to him, and her desire to be free from her medicalization. Thomas still doesn't and can't understand her, as he plays the role of the "Victorian husband" who can govern his wife.

Which is what Robert Eggers tells us, in one interview: "Ellen’s husband loves her, but he can’t understand these ‘hysteric’ and ‘melancholic’ feelings she’s experiencing, and he’s dismissive of her." And Willem Dafoe says something similar to “Deadline”: “I’ve heard Robert describe it as a triangle between Ellen’s husband, who’s a loving guy, he loves her dearly, and he’s conscientious. He wants to be a good husband, but he doesn’t quite see her, and he doesn’t understand what she’s going through.”

And, as Ellen realizes that Thomas will never accept her true nature, Orlok, through Ellen’s granting him entrance into the Harding household, kills the “perfect Victorian wife” archetype, Anna Harding, and her children; because the roles of wife and mother are deeply intertwined in Victorian society; they are a woman’s destiny. And he also feeds off Friedrich Harding, too, the man Thomas aspires to become.

"There’s a monster in the room! Papa! Papa! Don’t let her feed me to the monster! Stab him! The Monster! The Monster!"

And Ellen realises that Thomas isn't so different from Friedrich Harding. Friedrich is the character Thomas wishes to emulate and become, after all: a successful businessman, with a good and wealthy house, and a devoted and comfortably settled wife, who elevates his social respectability: "I envy you. You’ve truly taken your father’s place now… it’s incredible." Like Harding, Thomas will always medicalize her, as does the rest of Victorian society. She showned him her true nature, her mediumship, and his reaction was to call Dr. Sievers to deal with it, a doctor who will restrain her nature with drugs, corsets and tie her to the bed.

Thomas' love for Ellen is no different from Friedrich Harding's, at its core. And it becomes clear: this "Victorian love" is connected to Ellen's medicalization and the containment of her nature. Every character who "loves" Ellen in this story has the same course of action: dismiss her supernatural gifts as a consequence of her "sickness", and call the doctors to deal with it. They all see her nature, her true self, as a dangerous disease who needs to be stopped. As female sexuality in the Victorian era was seen as a plague and a monstrosity in need of containment, and "the threat of female sexuality" theme from the "Dracula" novel.

Now, Ellen wants to talk to Professor Von Franz, the only (human) character who has shown respect and validation for her nature, and hasn’t medicalized her for it. Not before Friedrich Harding proves, once again, how neither she nor the Professor have a place within Victorian society: “Take that blackguard from this place! Your diseased mind has brought all of this outrage– Your very presence does me wrong!” 

He's interrupted by Thomas, who convinces him that Nosferatu exists, and it’s his fault, while he asks for Friedrich’s forgiveness ("Please, it is my fault! Forgive me my dear, sweet friend!”). Driving home the point that Thomas paid no mind to what Ellen told him the previous night, and he does not recognize her supernatural abilities, either. It's all Orlok's fault, and Ellen is an innocent and passive victim at his hands, and everything will be alright once he's destroyed.