#she always does thus

[kiwidotcom]

jfc

so Im frustrated that my coworker got me sick and ruined my weekend plans and now I feel like fucking shit, and my best friends response ?

"hmm it sucks living in an economy where no one can take time off when they're sick. I feel bad for everyone involved"

holy fuck sometimes I just want a friend not a life lesson

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Daughter of delta Yu, show them that you're no fool!

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[serpentface]

Hibrides and Brakul having the world’s saddest booze-fueled girl’s night, probably a few months before the start of the story.

Anyway here's an extensive rundown of their shared history.

Hibrides Uryashta was the eldest daughter of a chancellor of the imperial city-state of Erubinnos (his lordship Erub Uryashta). She was brought up with great privilege and security, but (like most daughters of noblemen) was destined to be used as a bargaining chip in a political marriage arrangement. She was taken from her friends and family and moved to the city of Wardin at the age of 16 to complete her pledged marriage with Janeys Haidamane, the failson of the trade magnate Haidamane family. Janeys spent about a week poorly attempting to behave like a husband, and then took the first excuse to flee and engage in a petty military campaign against raiders on the Yellowtail trade route. She found herself left alone in his villa for three years with only hired servants for company. She made a few attempts to break into the city's elite social scene, but was quite shy and failed to make any headway.

Brakul had just spent a year and a half in a bit of a whirlwind. He was brought into a skirmish at the behest of an allied clan, who had been raiding the Yellowtail route and now was under attack by combined forces of an enemy clan and Imperial Wardi mercenaries. He killed one of the mercenary commanders and was captured as a prisoner of war, but was spared at Janeys' behest (who fucking hated that guy thought it was awesome that he got killed with a rock) and was ultimately recruited into the group. He had a chance to go back home, but actively chose to deadbeat dad out on his wife and child to be with his newfound lovequest, Janeys. He spent a year and a half as a mercenary, bonded closely with Janeys and swore brotherhood with him, and was eventually brought home to the city of Wardin with him. He found himself in the odd position of being simultaneously scorned as a foreigner and 'heathen', and the legal kin of one of the richest families in the city (and effectively the secret male concubine of their only male heir).

It was in this context that the two of them met, with Hibrides now being 19 and Brakul turning 27.

The two were initially wary of each other (Hibrides was particularly put off by his 'heathen' status) but bonded very quickly, partly due to their mutual states of being unmoored from their old lives, but in large part being just a natural chemistry. They had a lot of common interests and enjoyed learning from each other. Hibrides introduced him to traditional verse poetry (of which she was very fond). Brakul taught her how to ride khait, and even gave her a gelding from his own collection as a gift. They became very close friends over the next couple of years and spent much of their free time together.

A big part of the dynamic was that both of them are gay in a cultural context where there is no concept of Being gay, marriages are usually arranged and always between a man and a woman, and having children is a societal expectation. Each of them began to see the other as an ideal husband/wife, ie "if I had to marry why couldn't it have been him/her?". For Hibrides' part, Brakul had all the traits she would want in a husband: he was a pretty good friend and easy to get along with, he seemed like he'd do an excellent job of fulfilling expected roles as a husband and father (she didn't know about the wife and kid for a while), he treated her as an equal, and, most of all, had no interest whatsoever in fucking her. They were both in a sort of platonic emotional affair, and grew to love each other deeply.

Hibrides was pretty quick to catch on that something was going on between Brakul and Janeys, and found it strange and offputting but ultimately none of her concern. Her husband only being interested in his sworn brother and leaving her to her own devices suited Hibrides just fine, and Brakul always just kinda being There meant she was living with what had become her closest friend.

The stable state of this Feelings Triangle began to change in the wake of the brilliant plan to get Janeys (gay) (probably infertile) children he could pass off as legitimate via a Brakul/Hibrides pregnancy. It was something all three agreed to as a necessity; it was already drawing scrutiny that Janeys and Hibrides had been married for several years without a pregnancy, and producing heirs is a societal expectation and a central point of an arranged marriage between wealthy elites.

It was especially critical in this case, given Janeys was his family's only male child and only hope of continuing the family line, given both his golden-child sister Faiza and black sheep half sister Couya were Odonii, and thus sworn virgins and would never marry. (There's also a level to this that Janeys was regarded as a complete disappointment by his parents, and his mother made damn sure he knew that his only value at this point was to produce a better male heir to inherit the business. So this was a big fucking deal to him, and to Brakul by extension).

This was also not a route any of them wanted to take on any personal level, least of all Hibrides. She consented to the pregnancy and everything it entailed, but it was inevitably a painful and distressing experience all around. She had never wanted to be a mother to begin with (though had long accepted it as an inevitability), and now found herself with an infant daughter, which only meant it would have to happen again (they needed a male heir after all). And it would be utter social suicide and a profound shame upon her if the child's illegitimacy was discovered, which only added to the stress.

To make things worse, her first pregnancy shifted the entire dynamic with her husband and brother-in-law/best friend. Janeys changed from completely indifferent to actively spiteful and hostile towards her, and things had become extremely uncomfortable between Hibrides and Brakul. It only got worse with Brakul (the only one of them who actually WANTS kids) (kind of haunted by skipping out on his first child) finding it unbearable to be so close to HIS daughter and having to keep up an act that she was not his own, having no direct role in the kids life. He desperately wanted to be a father.

Hibrides, who was going through a fucking lot, started to become vindictive towards him for his role in things. She resented him more than Janeys, because Brakul insisted he cared about her and would desperately try to pretend things were normal, while consistently siding with Janeys against her wishes, including in preventing her from getting a divorce. (His excuse is that the children's legitimacy would be interrogated in a legal setting, which Is likely and Would be absolute social suicide with very real consequences. But the real reason on his part is that if she got out of the marriage, he might never see her or the children again). Hibrides began to do everything in her power to prevent him from having any relationship with his bastard children, even in secret or under the guise of a relative. Sort of an “if I have to suffer to keep up this facade so should you” thing.

They had two children in a span of three years, two girls (ruh roh!) named Erubi and Livya. By this point, Hibrides and Brakul were both experiencing what we would now call Clinical Depression and Alcohol Use Disorder (especially in the latter's case). Hibrides started to have affairs with both men and women, which she was sure to be very obvious about to insult Janeys and Brakul, but was mostly out of loneliness. Brakul turned his complete focus to Janeys and started avoiding Hibrides entirely, in hopes that she would become desperate enough to be willing to make amends (shockingly, this did not happen, and the rift only deepened).

In the present, their relationship status is: fucked. Both of them do still love each other on some level, but this is probably beyond repair. What little time they've spent with each other in the past year is sitting around being miserable and getting plastered. And now Hibrides, Janeys, and Brakul are all forced into the public eye on the pilgrimage together, and with a third child on the way. So that's probably going to be everyone's problem.

[bigboobyhalo]

thinking about q!mouse design but she's all one solid color like BBH ... cuz I think she deserves to be creature-y too <3

[tysonfurybattlepass]

lancer hot take GO

1. CRIMINALLY underrated as a key player in the narrative. so often in fan content, he’s relegated to comic relief when in reality his character arc is the fucking CO-FOCAL POINT of ch1 (alongside susie’s)

but where susie learns that opposition isn’t always the answer, and it can lead to her hurting people she loves, lancer learns that the authority figure in his life isn’t omnipotent and perfect and he can stand up for what he knows is just. he can question the adult in his life he can BE HIS OWN PERSON and he doesn’t have to feel like he’s not good enough. fuck. not personal or anything prommy (lying)

2. i think he should be allowed to KILL. queen will livestream it. shit would be funny as fuck

[shedidntevenswear]

i think its really inspirational that taylor swift is both the world’s biggest pop star icon legend at the moment while simultaneously being decidedly, deeply uncool. and i dont mean uncool like unlikeable, i mean uncool like she’s just a loveable dork that makes slightly outdated internet jokes and probably calls herself a cat mom. the duality of woman. 

[greeenchrysanthemums]

Thus Always to Tyrants

Chapter 3: An Unwelcomed Guest?

Gem is the commander of the Wintertide royal army, Grian is the leader of a resistance hell bent on taking the crown down no matter the cost. It was only natural that they would become enemies.

Beginning -> previous -> next

Read on ao3 ❀ here ❀

CW: N/A

Words: 6,046

Pov: Gem

❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

“Gem!” A voice called out to her from behind. She turned just in time to step back and avoid being barreled into by a short man holding a shovel.

“Bdubs? What’s wrong?” She asked, alarmed. Her hand instantly went to the sword secured around her waist, ready to fight and protect everyone nearby.

After a quick hour-long nap at the table, her morning had been completely occupied with overseeing the safety of those carrying out clean-up efforts in wake of the previous night's activities, so she had only just returned to the castle. It was nearing noon at that point, and she was in the process of making her way back to her office to plan out several new security measures, including an increase in knights patrolling everywhere possible without alarming the civilians and a thorough check of all possible entry points around the castle walls to ensure that they were one hundred percent impenetrable by outside forces. 

Had something slipped past her in that time? Was there an immediate threat inside of the castle?

Bdubs, the royal gardener, was hunched over at the waist in front of her, one hand clutching the handle of the shovel he dug into the ground to steady himself and the other planted firmly on his knee. His wide brimmed hat partially hid his red face, but it did nothing to conceal the sweat drenched tunic clinging to his torso. His hands and forearms, revealed by rolled up sleeves, were covered in a layer of muck and grime that similarly coated the ends of his trouser legs. He was missing his iconic, green cloak, so he must have come here in a hurry. Gem reached her hand out and settled it on his shoulder, politely ignoring the way it made her hand damp.

“I forgot to tell you somethin’ important!” Bdub’s said, standing up straight so suddenly that Gem startled back, retracting her hand.

“What is it?” She prompted impatiently and nervously.

“I saw someone sneak into the castle last night,” He said, eyes wide.

“What!?” She squealed, voice going high pitched. Her hands shot out and she grabbed him by both shoulders, her fingers digging into his muscles hard enough to dimple the fabric in the surrounding area. “When!?”

“It had to have been around midnight or so. I was in bed when I heard something outside of my window. I thought ‘hey that’s weird, we don’t even get very many animals out here, what could that be?’ so I peeked outside and there it was! A person walking by my window!” He exclaimed. She gripped him harder.

“Why did you not say something immediately?” She asked through gritted teeth. “What did you do after seeing them?” 

Bdub’s leveled her with a deadly serious look, “I went back to sleep.”

Gem stared at him. He stared at her. The knights behind Gem stared at both of them. There was silence.  

“You did what?” She asked slowly, unsure if she had heard him right.

“I went back to sleep,” Bdubs reiterated, “I’m not a fighter! I knew if I went out there in the dark all defenseless with nothing to fight with, whoever that was would kill me immediately! I’m not a fool!”

Gem wanted to argue otherwise, but he carried on.

“I tried waiting it out until someone came by to rescue me, but I’m not used to staying up that long. The ol' body just isn't used to it. I fell right back to sleep without even trying to. I thought the encounter was just a really bad dream I had brought on by all the drinkin' I did last night at dinner when I woke up this morning, but then I saw the footprints in the soil when I was doing the weeding, and I knew it was real!”

“Why did you not alert one of the guards stationed on the wall nearby? Logan was only a mere 20 feet away from your quarters!” She said, rubbing the bridge of her nose. Then, her eyes snapped open as she fully registered his words. She cut off his loud, long-winded rant about how he couldn’t endanger himself to go alert someone, “Wait, Bdubs. Bdubs, hush up for a moment, would you? You said you found footprints?”

Bdubs paused to nod his head enthusiastically. “Yes!” 

“Show me immediately.” She said, expression firm. Bdubs nodded again and then motioned for her to follow after him as he took off towards the garden. She motioned for two soldiers to accompany them and then said to the rest, "I want you guys to remain here and keep an eye on the area. Report to me immediately if you see anything suspicious... Unlike a certain somebody."

She followed Bdubs through the expansive outside area, holding in her laughter whenever he would stumble on the loose rocks or trip over a well-groomed shrub with a colourful curse. You would be led to believe that someone who has dedicated their entire life to tending to a garden would know the area a little better, or at least well enough to avoid tripping as often as he did. They passed under the vine covered stone arch that served as the entrance to the grand royal garden, and she took a moment to admire the area, as well as scan it for anything that might be out of place. 

Meticulously cared for shrubs made the area into somewhat of a maze, forcing one to weave their way through the area and barring them from stepping on the beautiful grass. Flowering bushes with buds of a million colours mixed in with these shrubs, their vibrant colours somehow blending in perfectly despite the contrast. A few scattered fruit trees, whose spoils had already been harvested this year, stood tall and proud where they were placed in spots most convenient for providing shade throughout the garden. The same trees also lined the back wall, blocking the mossy stone from view almost entirely. 

A fountain carved in the shape of a mostly bare woman with a flowing cloth covering both her eyes and breasts stood in the center of it all, the water flowing from her outstretched, cupped palms, her face twisted into one of sorrow. Fake jewels and sparkling rocks glimmered at the bottom of the crystal clear pool, giving the water's surface the appearance of a sparkling jewel itself. 

Under her feet was a well cared for stone path free of the dirt and leaves one would expect to see but was sprouting with little flowers that crawled through the fine cracks in a way she couldn't help but find beautiful. In the very back of the garden, nestled between two of the tall fruit trees and barely noticeable among the gorgeous scenery, was a similarly well cared for shack that acted as both Bdubs’ sleeping quarters and storage for all of his gardening tools. 

Suddenly Bdubs stopped and she had to stumble to the side to avoid ramming right into his back. He pointed emphatically down at the dirt beneath a shrub he had presumably been weeding before he came to fetch her. The soft soil was slightly dug up off to the side, a few weeds laying on their sides around the shallow holes. There were a few small tools scattered about the area, as well as a pair of gloves and his mossy cloak laying abandoned on the stone path a little ways away. 

And then she saw it, a footstep in the soil just as he said there would be. It was long and slender with no discernable patterns within its print that would be easily identifiable. It could have belonged to anyone within the castle staff, anyone from town, that is how generic it was. However, it was not the only thing of intrigue that she spotted. Her eyes flickered up towards it as it caught her attention. A single red thread, right there on one of the branches of the bush, tangled around it and fluttered in the light breeze that flowed through the garden. She reached out to it and pulled it free with a firm tug. A loose cloak thread in the same shade as the garment that Grian wore. It appeared to have been ripped free when the wearer got caught on the sharp, recently trimmed branch.

She looked around the shrubbery, and just as she suspected, further inside of the foliage were branches that looked out of place, bent and unnatural in a way that indicated the bushes had been climbed through. Bdubs kept the garden immaculate, so it was very easy to spot even a single leaf out of place if you knew what to look for. And she really did have to look, her eyes intently focused on the bushes in a way that must have made her look a bit mad, because whoever had been here had done well to hide their tracks. Not well enough to hide from her though. They had left a trail that she could track, right through the garden.

“Cobble, I want you to stay here with Bdubs, Marabelle I need you to go find Kaya and tell her and her battalion on the wall to keep an eye on things outside just in case whoever was here last night tries to get back in, and that they should not rule out the idea that the intruder may still be on the premise. After that, I need you to find Scott and Impulse and inform them of the intruder. If you can, send them my way.” Gem instructed her knights. Marabelle saluted and then ran off to do as directed. Cobble shifted nervously, looking around the garden with a suspicious eye. Bdubs’ face slowly morphed into one of horror.

“Still on the premise?!” He exclaimed loudly, prompting Gem to flinch away from him with a sigh. He reached down and grabbed ahold of one of his sharper, more dangerous tools. He held it tightly to his chest as he glanced around his garden with paranoia shinning in his eyes.

“I highly doubt that whoever this was would be so stupid as to stick around, but it is not an option I can safely rule out, not after…” She trailed off, realizing Grian’s threat was not public knowledge, and it would do her well to not make it such. “Do not worry about it, just stay here with Cobble and you will be fine. I’ll handle this.”

With that she began her trek into the shrubbery, following the barely noticeable path the trespasser had unwittingly left behind for her. Bdubs momentarily broke out of his paranoid stupor to yell at her for going through them so carelessly, but one dirty look over her shoulder was enough to shut him up.

She cursed her foolishness as she followed the out of place branches. She had assumed that if Grian was planning something that night he would focus his attention on the festival, which was vulnerable and hard to protect due to the high density of people around. But the more she thought about it, it only made sense that he would advance on the castle when security was more lax and divided by the festivities. It was a fairly smart tactic, she had to admit. Keeping her on edge and busy while he snuck someone in? She would never deign herself to admit it out loud that she had been played well, but she had been.

She shuddered at the thought of what he and his people might have done inside while no one was looking. 

She looked around as she trudged through the garden, making an effort to not step on any of the flowers or ruin things too much, but not being overly careful either. Consider the work she was giving Bdubs punishment for being a fool. But as she walked, she noticed something. The trail she was walking was in one big a blind spot. None of the on duty knights would have been able to see the intruder even if they had looked down into the garden from the wall or peered in from any of the entrances. Nearly the whole path was blocked in some way, be it by tree or the fountain or something else, none of it was visible unless you knew where to look. That, coupled with the fact that there would have been little to no light, meant that it would have been alarmingly easy for them to get in entirely undetected.

It was scary to think about.

The trail led her all the way to the garden's East entrance, far right of the fountain and near the apple trees. In the mud at the base of said trees she found a second footprint similar to the last, but this one was smudged, imperfect, as if the intruder had slipped. It only made sense that she found the vines on the entrance's archway to be messed with. They had used the pillar to catch their fall.

If they had stepped in the mud then surely they had to have left more evidence behind, right?

The East Garden entrance led to stables and the couch house, which gave entrance to the ground floor of the castle. There was also the kitchen entrance further East, as well as a smaller, less noticeable entrance to the servant bathrooms, but she knew that both of them were out of the question for possible break-in points. The bathroom had no other entry points other than the one outside, and the kitchen was never not occupied so it would have been impossible for someone to sneak in through the busy area. At least one person would have noticed a face that did not fit in among them.

She made her way over to the coach house and inspected the door. There were no signs that it had been tampered with or forced open, but that didn’t mean anything. They may have simply been skilled enough, or smart enough, to not leave behind such traces. Then again, they had left her an entire trail here. She huffed and looked around. She titled her head up and caught sight of an open window on the second floor and wondered briefly if that was how they got inside, but she shook her head and scolded herself for the silly thought. Not only was that a nearly impossible climb to make, but the window also led to the servants' quarters. Someone, again, would have noticed. It was a bit hard to miss a person climbing in through their window.

She opened the door and made her way inside, giving the area a sharp once over. Nothing seemed out of place. All of the horse gear was in place and a survey of both the carriage and the trading carts told her they were not tampered with. Nothing was stolen, everything was accounted for. She looked over the room a second time and a third before she was satisfied. Well, she would not say satisfied. She was actually quite frustrated. There was nothing here.

She walked up the few stone steps that led to the inside of the castle and nothing in the halls looked out of place. There was no mud on the polished marble like she expected, no, hoped to find to tell her that this was the way they went. Everything looked as clean and pristine as she expected it to.

Her trail had gone cold. 

“What are you looking for, Commander?” A voice asked to her side, startling her. She did her best to school her reaction to not appear a fool as she turned to the person.

One of the young maids was looking at with a curious expression on their face and a bundle of linen in their arms. She raked her brain for their name but shamefully could not remember it. It started with a C, perhaps? They blinked at her, and their face turned a little worried before Gem realized she should probably give them an answer.

“Oh! Do not worry about it.” She said, giving them a reassuring smile. 

“Alright, then…” They said hesitantly. They turned to walk away but a thought occurred to Gem and she called out to them.

“Actually, you might be able to help me,” She said, taking a step forward. They turned back to look at her, shock and a bit of excitement on their face.

“Me? Really? You need my help?” They asked in awe.

“Yes, I do.” She said, “You clean around this area, correct?”

“Oh, no I don’t ma’am,” They said, deflating a little. Gem did as well. “I’m stationed up on the second floor. I was simply running these down to the laundry room since the chute has been damaged and it cannot be delivered that way.”

“The chute has been damaged?” Gem asked, perking up.

“Yes! We think something too large and heavy was thrown down it sometime last night and now it won’t open or close properly. We didn’t find whatever it was that caused the damages, but it left behind a massive mess in the laundry room! It took hours this morning to clean up all of the sheets and cloth spilled about the area.” They said as they shook their head. 

“This was on the second floor, yes?” Gem asked eagerly.

“I can show you where, if you need.” They said nervously, obviously wanting to be of more help.

“No, that’s alright,” She said. They seemed disappointed, but they nodded anyway, “Thank you very much, you don’t know how helpful this has been.”

They smiled at her and stuttered out, “O-of course! It was my pleasure.”

Gem nodded her head to them respectfully before taking off down the halls, heading for the main stairs to take her to the second story of the castle. She turned out of the smaller hallway and into the expansive main hall, where the ceiling was broad, curved, and painted in shades of white and gold. Sunlight filtered in from the windows in the front. The stairs, covered in plush red carpet, were tall and would quickly wind anyone who was not used to their great climb. Gem, however, was on the second floor in no time, having long gotten used to them.

She was greeted by many of the servants as she passed, and she did her best to politely return their greetings even though she was in a hurry. She knew this castle like the back of her hand, so she easily weaved her way through the halls until she came to the end of the servant's portion of the upstairs area, where the laundry chute was located. She grimaced as it came into view.

Usually, it blended in with the decor fairly well, and one could easily mistake it for an ornate design on the wall it they did not know what to look for. The only thing that really gave it away was the weathered handle used to pull it open. It was designed specifically with discretion in mind, was what she was told when she had first moved into the castle as a teenager. The only people meant to know where or what it was were the staff. 

Now, though, the hatch was crooked and not sitting in the wall quite right, the paper around it peeling and showing the damaged walling behind. If she had to guess, there had previously been debris on the ground, which had to have been cleaned up in the aftermath, because it looked as though some of the paper and the wall were chipped away and missing entirely.  A cold breeze came in from the dark hole that peaked out from the mangled remains of the poor chute.

It looked as though someone had either pulled it open with the power of twenty men all at once, or like they had attempted to kick it open from the side. Or.... like someone had forced it to take the weight of a human body.

She pulled on the handle and cringed when it came open far too easily, sending little bits of stone dust swirling down towards the carpet. She pondered it for a moment before concluding that if the person was slight enough, they just might be able to crawl inside of the small space, even if it was with a lot of difficulty and maneuvering. She suspected that someone had done just that, and the belief was only reinforced when she noticed a bit of what looked like dried mud on the back of the hatch.

But what in the nine hells was their little intruder doing going down the laundry chute? Not to mention that both the laundry chute and the laundry room itself were located in the southwest part of the castle, which was a long ways away from the garden. The laundry room wasn’t even accessible from the outside either. Just what had been their route? And what of their intentions? This was a very peculiar situation.

Even after venturing down into the laundry room, she couldn’t wrap her head around it. The only thing that had been amiss in the room (which smelt so strongly of soap and perfumes that it made her head spin) was the broken basket that was used to catch clothing sent down the chute. None of the servants in the laundry room even had any answers for her. No one had been in the room when whatever, or whoever, it was dropped down from above. 

There were no witnesses, no other clues, nothing for her to go off of. She had no idea how they got in, nor what they had done while inside. She knew even less about the way they took to get out.

It occurred to her then that perhaps she was overreacting. It could have been someone within the staff that caused the damages to the chute, and they were too embarrassed to come clean. It could have been anyone walking around in the garden last night. Bdubs couldn’t have been sure who it was that he saw, it was late and he had just woken up. Who was to say he hadn’t dreamt of it and those prints were from the knights she had patrolling early in the morning to quell the same paranoia that was consuming her right now?

She paused her walk back to the garden with a sigh. She groaned in frustration as she ran her hands down her face, fingers gripping the stray curls of ginger hair that hung down in front of it. She was falling right into Grian’s hands, she realized in defeat. She was letting her worry get to her after she said she wouldn’t do just that, and she was losing her straight head in the process.

What was she doing chasing around ghosts and playing detective at a time like this? She had patrol routes to be signing off on and training to be overseeing. She should have asked Impulse or Scott to look into it the second she saw the footprint. No, right when she heard of the potential intruder's existence.  She had let herself get too prideful, too eager to catch Grian and his people in the act all on her own that she’d rushed in headfirst with no plan and without even properly informing her right hands.  She was better than this.

“Curse you, bird.” She muttered bitterly under her breath.

She sighed again, this one longer and more drawn out than those previous. She better get back to her knights, find Scott and Impulse, and explain the situation to them in order to get a second opinion on the matter at hand before informing the king himself of the issue. Loath as she was to admit it, she couldn’t do this alone, especially if she wasn’t overthinking and someone truly had managed to bypass the castles security while her sights were focused elsewhere.

It hadn't even been a full 24 hours and this whole ordeal was already so stressful.

Several long hours later Gem trudged her way to the training yard. The sun was setting in the sky, and she was unbearably exhausted. After locating Scott and Impulse, they discussed what to do and decided that Scott, ever the social butterfly, would be the one to interview the staff and ask them what they had seen, if anything at all.  Impulse was to oversee the implementation of the rest of the new security measures under her orders and guidance. He also took over her evening training sessions with the newbies despite her protests. Bless her longtime friends for making sure she stayed sane.

She should be in her office writing up those routes and assigning people to them, but she needed a moment to clear her head. She needed to beat up some training dummies.

Thankfully the expansive area was empty by the time she made it there, training having ended an hour or so ago. Everyone should be preparing for dinner right around now. She stepped into the marked ring, the soft dirt shifting under her boots. She pulled one of the practice swords out of the barrel and then rounded on the dummy, her movements slow and precise.

Before coming here, she had also spoken to the king and informed him of the intruder. It had gone just as well as her warning about Grian’s initial threat had; badly. He dismissed her once again. Her! His own royal commander, who he had personally selected and appointed! You would think that he would have more faith in her after all she’s done and continues to do for this kingdom! Frustration built up inside of her as his words echoed in her head.

I’ll let you do as you please for now, but I believe you are making something out of nothing, Gem. This so called intruder is nothing but your mind and the gardener's wild imagination playing tricks on you after a stressful night. There is no use getting worked up over nothing. But how could he be so sure that this was 'nothing'?  There were lives at stake, a whole kingdom on the line, and he does not believe they should be just a little bit more cautious?

Channeling her emotions into energy, she lunged at last, the sword slashing across the dummies chest and leaving behind deep grooves in the already scarred surface. It teetered to the side but was steadied by a second slash to the opposite side. She rolled to the right and around to the dummies back before launching herself up with a graceful spinning motion, cutting in a large, broad motion across the wood.

She jumped back, imagining that there was a counterattack that she must dodge away from. She sidestepped around back to the front of the dummy, holding her sword close to her body. Anger bubbled up in her chest as the dummy's wooden face seemed to morph into that of Grian’s. She pictured his cheeky grin, his void-like, black eyes, his taunting words.

Something big is coming, Gem. The end might be closer than you think. He snickered inside her mind.

She sneered as she jabbed the tip of her sword into the dummies face with as much force as she could muster, chipping the wood and sending it toppling to the ground as the weapon was ripped free from her grip, now deeply imbedded in the things head. She stood there, breathing heavily through clenched teeth as she glared down at the fallen dummy. His hands were balled into painful fists, trembling at her side.

“That was pretty violent, no?” A familiar, bubbly voice asked to her left.

She whipped her head around to the source of the voice and there she found a woman sitting on one of the nearby barrels, one leg crossed over the other with her elbows planted on her knee while she rested her chin in her cupped palms. Long, lanky limbs, messy brown curls partially covered by a red hood, crystal blue eyes, a bright smile with a crooked fang showing proudly, a crescent moon shaped birthmark covering the left side of her face; all of these were the features that made up her very dearest friend.

“Pearl!” She exclaimed, her anger dissipating immediately to be replaced with a giddy joy. She bounded up to the woman, stopping right in front of her, their knees practically touching with the proximity. She put her hands on her hips and looked down at her with a tilted head.

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite menace.” She said, a painfully wide grin tugging at her cheeks. Pearl feigned offense, putting her hands up to her mouth with a dainty gasp.

“A menace? Me?” She asked, “Nonsense, you know me, I’m an angel.”

Gem belted out a hearty laugh at that, leaning back with her hands on her belly. Pearl giggled, a light blush on the tips of her ears as she unfolded her legs to kick Gem in the shin hard. Gem yelped and jumped away, wiping a tear away from her eye before straightening up. 

“What brings you here this fine night?” Gem finally asked.

She had known Pearl for nearly nine whole years now. They met in this very training yard on a warm summer day with the sun beating down on their skin. Pearl, who worked at the most popular bakery in the capital, had been delivering pastries to the kitchen when she decided to wander around the castle as her boss handled the exchange. She had gotten hopelessly lost and somehow made her way outside and to the training yard, where she found Gem doing her drills.

She was a bit embarrassed to admit that her first instinct had been to attack the other woman and restrain her when she caught her watching from behind a barrel a little ways away from the training circle. Lucky for her, Pearl had laughed it all off before introducing herself and praising Gem's form; their relationship naturally bloomed from there. They had been through a lot over the years, and she could safely say that the older woman was her very best friend.

“Bigb and I are here making a bread and pastry delivery. The festival pretty much cleared out the royal kitchen, so I’ve heard. B and the cook got to talking and it was real boring, so I decided to come and see how you are doing. But~ by the looks of that poor dummy and the sudden increase in knights pretty much everywhere, something tells me not too good, then?” Pearl asked, raising an eyebrow. Gem grimaced and scratched the back of her head.

“It’s nothing you should worry about; I’ll make sure you’re safe.” She promised.

“You’ll personally make sure I’m safe?” Pearl asked with a laugh. This time it was Gem’s turn for her ears and the tip of her nose to darken to a shade of pink.

“If I have to, yes,” She said seriously, if a little flustered, “You’re my best friend.”

“....” Pearl turned away from her with an unreadable expression. “You’re too good to me, Gem. I’ll make sure you’re safe too.”

Gem furrowed her brow. Pearl sounded almost…sad? No…that wasn’t quite it. She couldn’t tell what emotion the other woman was expressing. It didn’t matter though, because it was gone in an instant, replaced by her typical chipper self in the blink of an eye.

“Anywho, I'm too curious for my own good so you have no choice but to answer my questions. What is with the increase in security? Something happen that I don’t know about? As far as I remember the festival went just fine.” Pearl questioned once more. Gem contemplated for a moment before deciding that she could share this with her closest friend. It would not be the first time she had heard all about Grian, after all. Gem had long ago gotten into the habit of complaining about him to her, though it was never anything as serious as this.

“Grian found me at the festival yesterday and made some vague threats about ‘the end being near’. Most, including the king, don’t think it is anything to worry about, but I know his games. It is better to be safe rather than sorry should his threats come to pass, so I've been upping security.” Gem said. Pearl’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline.

“He said that?” She asked, sounding genuinely surprised.

“Yeah. It was really weird.” She sighed and dropped herself onto her butt next to the barrel that Pearl was sitting on, making sure to avoid touching her dirty boots. “He went on about how he wanted me to live and that I better prepare myself because he has something big planned.”

“How odd…” Pearl said absently. Gem glanced up at her. She was staring off into the distance, her brow furrowed as she worried her bottom lip between her teeth.

“Hey, don’t worry about it.” Gem said.. “Whatever it is that he has planned, I’m doing what I can to make sure that warning doesn’t go to waste. I’ll put a stop to it.”

Pearl’s eyes flickered down to her, that unreadable expression back on her face. It was quickly replaced by a shaky smile that looked like it might slip any moment.

“You shouldn’t underestimate him. You have no idea what he’s capable of. I-I mean, none of us really do, do we?” Pearl said nervously. 

“I’m not underestimating him, Pearl. I am taking his threat very seriously. Everything will be just fine, I promise.” Gem said reassuringly. Maybe it had been a bad idea to bring this up to her best friend, it seemed to have put the poor thing on edge. Of course it would, anyone would be at least a little disturbed by such ominous threats.

“Y-yeah…I’m sure everything will work out just fine.” Pearl said. There was a moment of silence between them before Pearl abruptly stood up, her knee knocking against Gem’s shoulder and her frayed cloak brushing against her face in the sudden movement. “I should be getting back, it is pretty late now, isn’t it? I wouldn't want to keep Bigb waiting too long.”

“Oh…Yes, it is quite late now,” Gem said as she stood as well, internally mourning the fact that she would now have to go do paperwork and work out those blasted patrol routes, paying extra attention to those blind spots in the garden. She should have liked to have shared a beer with Pearl, but a glance at the setting sun told her it was for the best they part ways now. “Let me see you in the kitchen then."

“No!” Pearl exclaimed, causing Gem to flinch away with her hand part way reaching out for Pearl’s shoulder. She immediately looked sheepish. “I mean, um, you don’t have to. I’d like a moment to think, if that’s alright.”

“Ah, I see… That’s perfectly alright. I’m terribly sorry if I’ve frightened you with the news I’ve shared.” She said sincerely. Pearl shook her head and gave her a softer, less shaky smile.

“You’re alright. I think that was just a little…jarring to hear. I’ll be alright.” She said.

“Of course… I will be seeing you again soon?” Gem questioned. Pearl nodded her head.

“Without a doubt. You’ll be seeing more of me very soon.” Pearl said, something twinkling in her eyes. 

They hugged, quick and light, before Pearl took her leave, strolling back in the direction of the kitchen she’d presumably gained access to the castle grounds through. Gem watched her go, unease and guilt eating away at her stomach. Gods, this day was really a train wreck right from the beginning to the very end. She hoped that fate would not make a fool of her, and that her promise to her friend would not turn out to be a lie.

Somewhere not too far away, a woman in red confronts an avian, her face twisted with rage as her hand grabs a fistful of his shirt.

"We need to talk"

[t8oo]

there is some symbolism iv never considered in that one episod of pt5 where zenigata rescues fujiko before she kills lupin

[anthromimicry]

jandy nelson, i'll give you the sun | jean anouilh tr, by lewis galantière | @soulinkpoetry | trista mateer, the dogs i have kissed | the bible

[wonder-worker]

"...Walsingham, the monastic author of the St. Albans Chronicle, was by far [Alice Perrers'] harshest contemporary critic, who in his venom has (somewhat ironically) left us with the longest and most detailed account of her background and personality, her influence as Edward’s mistress, and her subsequent trial. He describes Alice as a shameless lowborn meretrix (a word variously translated as mistress, whore, or harlot), who “brought almost universal dishonour upon the king’s reputation […] and defiled virtually the whole kingdom of England with her disgraceful insolence.” Although Walsingham was not always accurate and, specifically in this case, clearly heavily biased against Alice, he nevertheless provides a truly contemporary account, and his importance as a source should not be underestimated. Likewise, the anonymous monk of St. Mary’s York recorded that in the Good Parliament the Commons (represented by their speaker, Sir Peter de la Mare) stated that it “would be of great gain to the kingdom to remove the said dame [Alice] from the presence of the king both as a matter of conscious and of the ill prosecution of the war.” During the same assembly, the bishop of Rochester, Thomas Brinton, preached from St. Paul’s Cross that “it is not fitting nor safe for all the keys of the kingdom to hang from the belt of one wife.” Although the word wife (uxoris) is used, it is widely accepted that this is a reference to Alice.”

-Laura Tompkins, '"Edward III's Gold-Digging Mistress": Alice Perrers, Gender, and Financial Power at the English Royal Court, 1360-1377", "Women and Economic Power in Premodern Courts" (edited by Cathleen Sarti). Italics by me.

[iaf]

Imagine Dinostar going to a school dance together and they're wearing matching outfits. Brooklynn has a nice yellow dress with pink accents and Darius has a neet pink suit with yellow accents. The old switcheroo!

And since Brooklynn tends to be the jack of all trades type of person, she most definitely has the basics for formal/ballroom dancing skills learned (Courtesy of her "Brooklynn Unboxes: The Secrets of the Grand Ballroom" vlog- or something like that). Leading to the following...

Darius and Brooklynn learning how to dance together in real time as Brooke struggles to teach and Darius struggles to follow along. Just these two being silly and clumsy yet comfortable with eachother as they laugh over their little mistakes.

[victorluvsalice]

-->ANYWAY – with that nonsense over it, and Alice’s veggies ready, it was time to start supper! I had Alice get a traditional turkey dinner going while Marm – who was going up into the attic anyway to clean up some trash – got put on gnome-appeasing duty, as he was the only one not to have done so yet. I picked the Gnome Reaper for him to appease and had him offer some coffee –

Aaaand no dice. And his attempt at asking forgiveness didn’t go down great either, as you can see. Hell, the shock didn’t even refill his charge need, like regular lightning will for a Servo. :( Shame. I decided “okay then, do what you were doing before – rummage through this garbage then clean up this puddle–”

And then realized too late that I’d set VICTOR to clean up some puddles in the living room, and of course he INSISTED on climbing the ladder all the way to the attic to try and get the one Marm was mopping even after I canceled the interaction. *sigh* Though at least that allowed me to send him to go have a nap (as he was as tired as he was hungry at this point) in his own bed, instead of on the living room couch...and to realize that hey, he had a talent point! Dunno when he got that, but might as well spend it on “Magical Resonance” to make him even more powerful when he’s in the Magic Realm! Not that he spends a lot of time in the Magic Realm – maybe we should visit again someday…

-->While all that was going on, Alice finished off her turkey – but as Victor was napping, I figured we’d wait until Alice herself was a little hungrier to start calling anyone to dinner. I instead had her clean some more spoiled food out of the fridge to keep her busy, while Smiler amused themselves playing in the mud. I was initially a little annoyed by this – but then, when they came inside looking for a bath, I realized “hey, wait a minute – they only have to take one bath with soaks in order to complete one of the Inner Peace milestones, Seek Relaxation!” So I had them take a fancy bath with lavender foam instead. :p And while they indulged, Marm and Alice both ended up in their room dancing to their Focused music beats, so I had the pair start chatting so they could be friends too. :) They got along quite well, and actually developed a like for the kind of Sims each of them thought the other was – Marm Spirited Sims, and Alice Homebody Sims! So that was nice. :) Anyway, I kept them talking to keep them busy and out of trouble while Smiler, freshly cleaned and lavendered, headed into the attic and got the seed packets and garbage the gnomes had left up there –

[forgottenamira]

Amira, Witch-Queen of Kolchis

headcanon time!! ok so this has the chance to get loooong so imma spare us aLL and bulletpoint this one, but everyone and esp @forgottenedmund as both admin and the other person currently playing a calainon, lmk what you think bc this might just be ~too insane and idk what you have planned etc alskdjflkjsdfjkdf

KOLCHIS & INTRO

house calainon does not exist or, it perhaps once did, but if it ever truly did, the ages have turned its true history to legend and myth

nonetheless, amira and her brothers make claim to that descent through one tenuous proof: witchcraft

while, given her husband's acute hatred of all seers, this might seem a great shock, this is also the truth, and it is (part of) why amira so tenaciously clings to the memory of her grandmother's gift

so real talk, im using kolchis as the place-holder name for the place amira's from (yes i ~did lift that from greek myth and just partially changed the spelling and no i will ~not apologize ;D), but im picturing an ancient athens meets mythological colchis meets constantinople/the byzantine empire w/ just a dash of ptolemaic alexandria sdlkafjskljdfjkdsf gotta grab all my greek-rooted mega cultures ig laksdjfkjlsdf (and yeah im sure the soldiers there def dip into sparta shhhh) so yeahhhh when you picture amira growing up, its that

CALAINON

in ages past, it is written, there once lived a young and ambitious warlord, called calainon, who is said to have conquered the known world (think alexander the great meets achilles meets hercules meets oedipus meets pelops meets atreus etc etc)

many legends speak of this ambitious fellow, holding often that he was the son of a god and a mortal woman, that he was possessed of superhuman strength and skill and daring, and that no mere mortal could stand before him

while there is no certainty, in truth, that this person ever did exist, it is said that he was the founder of the great city of kolchis, which he made the center of his great empire and that he built the still unfinished, storm-struck tower which was, for many eons, the highest building in all the world and called the stair of calainon (as according to legend he had built it as an attempt to reach the heavens and tear the gods from their holy temples in the skies)

there are two versions of the tales of calainon -- one in which he is cast as a tragic hero, and another in which he apears as a twisted villain

known to history both as calainon the deathless (for it is said that he groans still, buried deep in the bowels of the earth, half unable to die as his father was a god and half unable to live as his mother was a mortal) or, more popularly, cursed calainon the balsphemer

it will probs not surprise you to learn that calainon has always been a great hero of roderick's and thus that, tying his own burgeoning legend to the great calainon's, was a very appealing prospect to roderick

many hero-kings, horrific monsters, celebrated seers, cruel despots, and tragic martyrs of myth and legend are said to have descended from the house of calainon, and it is said that the line of calainon will endure until the end of all time for, cursed though they may be, half-gods they once were also

yet, if any of them ever did exist, it is ages past since any of them were known, save one source: local legend of kolchis speaks of the high priestesses of kolchis...

CALAINON THE VILLAIN

often held up as an example of hubris, calainon dared so much that the gods, themselves, stepped in

a great war took place and, it is oft said in kolchis that calainon committed the heresy of not merely daring to lock away the gods -- a heroic act -- but of attempting to steal their power

all of this he attempted w the erstwhile help of the guardian of kolchis known as the kolchian dragon

some myths hold that the great poisonous drake aided him only in sealing away the gods, and he forced the guardian's hand in attempting to steal the power of the gods

but others hold the guardian wished to aid him in both quests

tales disagree as well on how much calainon achieved: did he manage to seize for himself the power of the gods, or did he fail?

all sources agree on one thing however: there was a titanic battle fought amongst the clouds. the earth shook, lightning broke the fortress below, tidal waves sweeping the broken battlements away, and whole islands were drowned in the uproarious fury of the gods

but ultimately, though sealed away, the gods prevailed and cast down the heretic calainon in his hubris, imprisoning him forever beneath the earth

in his defeat, they cursed him, blinded him, and buried him alive, hurled from the heavens into the abyss of the earth (think: fall of lucifer sort of imagery)

in some variants, the gods also cursed his bloodline forever after, but this is another point upon which there are several variants

CALAINON THE HERO & THE HIGH PRIESTESS OF KOLCHIS

one of the many myths of calainon relates to an unending fire and a dragon, and it is in this version of the story (which happens to be roderick's favorite), that calainon appears not as a villain, but as a hero

in this legend, calainon's war with the gods is a fight for freedom, suppressing the deities with the help of kolchis' legendary guardian, known most often as the kolchian dragon

in the tragedy of the great calainon, he fights the gods only to be cast down in their vengeance, but not before sealing them away forever

in this version it is said that his warrior's spirit shall someday be reborn in a new form to lead the world once again (i invite you to guess how roderick might think he could potentially tie into this myth ;DDD)

according to a local legend in the great city of kolchis, before launching his campaign against the gods, calainon as god-king of kolchis appointed his eldest daughter, arsinoe, as high-priestess

she was a great seeress, famed for her wisdom and power, whose responsibility it was to tend the sacred eternal flame at the shrine of the kolchian dragon

hers was a fiery offering to keep the dragon-guardian strong against the fearsome gods, where her female descendants (for in kolchis it is held that a true seer must be a woman) shall forever after continue her great work, tending the eternal flame to assure that it may never go out or the kolchian dragon, the great guardian, will fade to nothing and die and, it is said, upon that day the gods will be unleashed and bring apocalypse upon the mortals who dared give them chains

this flame was a great bonfire at the center of the shrine, so vast that in ancient days, it was said that it could be seen in every part of the old city, a beacon that never went out

according to this legend, it is the divine blood of calainon which gives a seer her powers and, thus, it is believed -- according to this obscure kolchian legend -- that every single kolchian witch may trace her descent back to mighty calainon

A THOUSAND THOUSAND YEARS PASS...

in roderick's day, the most recent high priestess (sometimes called the 'fire-keeper' or 'witch-queen' of kolchis) was none other than the seeress who was amira's grandmother, with amira seemingly destined to be the next high priestess after her

while once the high priestesses of kolchis were revered, regarded almost like oracle of delphi meets melisandre of asshai-type figures, and each was regarded as the chief and best mystical advisor to the so-called god-kings of kolchis (so called bc it was calainon half-god who had established kingship in kolchis)

these priestesses were known as a powerhouses in their own right, the last known vestiages of calainon himself, ruling the hearts of the people of kolchis, and running a powerful temple overflowing with priestesses and acolytes, almost a small religious city within the greater city, itself, leading to them being known to outsiders as the 'witch-queen of kolchis'

yet by the time of amira's birth, the position had centuries since lost any luster, becoming a ruin of its former self

as the old religion faded into only memory anywhere but astaira, the high priestesses came to be despised, an embarrassing reminder of an age of backwater supersticion compared to the cosmopolitan center kolchis had became and wished to be

without the temple economy still running strong, kolchis' stratification intensified, till it was said that in kolchis, the rich fed not on fruits but on the poor

still worse for the temple, itself, nearly a thousand years ago, a war of religion broke out and the temple was sacked, much of it pulled down and the rest -- though marble -- burned (fun fact: marble ~will burn if the fire is hot enough) till all that was left of the erstwhile 'jewel of kolchis' was a crumbling, burned out shell of its former self. still, the high priestesses endured in the slums, and still the eternal flame burned on

the old city, where the ruined temple was located, was now located in the slums and grime of kolchis amongst its most dangerous dark corners

there, only the lost or the most daring would venture: the ruinous temple of the dragon and its keepers were seen as a supersticious and untrustworthy lot who lurked in the shadows, preying upon unsuspecting tourists

pick-pockets, liars, and harlots who played at mysticism and fortune telling to make off with valuables and steal souls, so the supersticion ran, for their dark, twisted magic

THE LIFE & TIMES OF AMIRA CALAINON

it is with this reputation and in this situation that amira and godfrey grew up, doing their utmost to protect little tristan from the sad truth of the world around them

their father had disappeared when tristan was a babe at the breast, likely murdered in the dangerous streets where they lived, while fleeing with what few valuables the family had left

their mother, the high priestess's only child, died of the pox while her children were still quiet small

thus, though blind and decrepit, it fell to their grandmother to raise her grandchildren

not thinking much of men in general, and regarding the sight as the realm of women anyway, as the kolchian culture long had held, the grandmother relied largely upon amira, training her in what arts she could with the expectation that, someday, amira's magic would show itself

a true believer, her grandmother was sure that, as the last female calainon, amira must be a witch or else the line of high priestesses would die with the grandmother, herself, unless amira were to produce a seer for a daughter

not wishing to surrender her only utility to an unborn daughter who may never even arrive, amira did her best to play along as a witch

a thing which exulted her in her grandmother's eyes who, though she loved her grandchildren fiercely, regarded only other seers as her equals

amira learned to read bones and fires and stars for potential futures (or at least to guess at them)

she learned to read people and 'see' in their futures what they wanted

she learned trickery and slight of hand and, perhaps most of all, she learned about poisons

such things were sacred to the kolchian dragon, known for poisonous fangs and breath and fire hot enough to melt the bones even of beings divine and cold as winter

meanwhile, living in extreme poverty, godfrey and amira learned to lie, to steal, to spy, and to cheat simply in order to subsist

RODERICK

by the time roderick invaded, things were desperate indeed

the star of the cosmopolitan center of kolchis, even, was well into its decline

kolchis had become so corrupt and top heavy that the rich knew little at all of what their ppl suffered -- and cared even less -- living in sublime luxury while everything they sat upon rotted beneath them

still, the god-king was eager to keep what little was left of his so-called empire, now reduced only to a single city

it was soon quite clear that kolchis was roderick's target

the god-king sent many troops to die in vain upon the teeth of roderick's armies, but nothing he did would hold the young would-be conqueror back

at last, with roderick upon him, the god-king ordered the impregnable gates of kolchis closed and laid in wait for a siege

the people in the streets began to starve -- and soon enough amira's own grandmother succumbed

but watching their grandmother slowly die, amira and godfrey had already long since sprung into action, lying and deceiving their way into the palace as servants

there they watched and listened and plotted, aligning themselves with a growing restless movement amongst the poor who meant to tear their god-king down w them

so it was that the common ppl stormed the god-king's castle, killing his guards and his ministers and hanging their bodies from the high walls and trees of of kolchis (yes this is a golden fleece reference)

ultimately, guided by amira and godfrey who knew the freedom fighters of kolchis could not possibly overpower roderick, the god-king's head was delivered to roderick as a gift, and the gates opened to him, inviting him inside as their celebrated and longed-for emperor, with amira as the chief intermediary sent to treat with him given her status as high priestess of kolchis

seeing an opportunity, amira immediately set about seducing the emperor, cleopatra and anne boleyn-style

while also taking full advantage of the local legend she'd heard from her grandmother, and introducing herself as amira calainon, supposedly acknowledged descendant of calainon, the first god-king of kolchis

she was willing to bet, afterall, that roderick probably admired and wished to associated with himself. she wasn't wrong.

so she brought him a head and a crown of laurel leaves and slowly made herself a queen

amira crowned roderick king of kolchis (roderick abolishing all use of the term 'god-king'), herself, in her role as high priestess of kolchis, in the sight of all the kolchians, at the ancient temple of the dragon which roderick had had esp restored for the event

before her marriage, she appointed an acting high priestess to keep the eternal flame burning

which roderick permits as a cultural tradition relating to the cultural hero, calainon, his own relative by marriage

a connection sealed with the birth of their son, edmund

VENGEANCE -- OR FEAR

to be clear, amira is not in love with roderick (they have some weird twisted thing that i could write its own novella on probs but that's for another time), he is the means to an end. for one thing, with one move she had gone from desperately clinging to survival in the slums to one of the richest and most powerful women in the known world, but this was not her only goal in wedding roderick.

amira wants money, she wants power, and she wants revenge. she wants vengeance on roderick, as she blames him (as well as the god-king of kolchis, but she's already wreaked her vengeance upon ~him) for the death of her grandmother, the only person besides godfrey who ever really looked out for amira, and certainly the only one who ever saw smth superior to all others in her.

she also wants revenge against all those -- and even the symbols of those -- who held her head underwater so long so that they, themsleves, could breathe

amira enjoys, endorses, and encourages all of roderick's worst traits bc his zest for conquest is a weapon she wields against the rest of the world. now ~she's the the one holding ~their heads underwater. bitch.

but most of all she wants revenge upon the world for allowing any of it to happen

she means to wait a long time to avenge herself on roderick, himself. when she is ready, he will die, as will all of his children save her own, and edmund will reign at last, and they will finally, finally be untouchable.

in the end, however, even amira's quest for vengeance is rooted in the deep horror she cannot face, the fear that she, too, will be conquered, defeated, helpless, and left to starve to death w the only ppl she truly loves in the fetid streets, just like the only woman who ever loved her.

however, she seeks always to project strength (even to herself!), as it is an armor, her last line of defense, to prevent this from happening, so she will stop at nothing, doing literally whatever it takes, to see her goals met bc then and only then will she be truly safe, or at least as safe as anyone in this world can ever be, with edmund as emperor

as a result, she is always quick to remind herself that it is vengeance and not safety she truly seeks -- but is that really true?

[daz4i]

everyone wish me luck with 1 falling asleep soon 2 waking up at 7 am 3 making it through my doctor's appointment bc i have a feeling she's gonna yell at me

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

...

Iris: At the last minute, I ran away. Because of that... Dahlia's half-sister, Valerie, ended up...

Iris: This is the trainee's younger sister, correct? She's cute as a button!

Iris: ... My sister... I felt sorry for her... If only Dahlia had come with me to Hazakura Temple... I always... I always loved her...

Dahlia: It was because of that stupid oaf of a prisoner and that weakling of a policewoman!

Dahlia: Morgan Fey heaped all of her broken hopes and dreams on to that poor child's back.

Dahlia: The only person I ever really cared about in life was myself... My sister was a nuisance.

Mia: And that's why you hid your identity?

Dahlia: Yes... I only told my sister. She was the only person left in the world I could count on. She's the only one who knew about me.

Iris: Dahlia was always so smart, so strong... She never complained about a thing.

Dahlia: Naturally, You have the evidence to back it up, don't you? Evidence that I planned the kidnapping... That at 14, I plotted it with Mr. Fawles and my sister.

Iris: That's why I... That's why I promised her that I would help her.

Phoenix: Are you talking about the fake kidnapping case 11 years ago?

Iris: ...Yes. I-I wanted to be useful to her in some way...

Iris/Dahlia: Because my sister always does the right thing.