#she actually ends up seeing him plan to frame miles for murder

[bindingties]

Ghost Franziska, do you want to move on? Are you able to? ((also, fun thought: ghost Franziska spying on her Papa and discovering him doing Manfred Shit™ like stealing evidence))

Verse Q&A || ALWAYS ACCEPTING TBH

“What good would it be to move on? At least if I stay here I can… attempt to do something.”

[sleepymarmot]

Glass Onion

Yes, I had been waiting for this movie for a while and dropped everything to watch it the day of release. What about it?

Liveblog

Is it bad that I’m already like “I want all of these people to die”? Well, maybe not Lionel I guess.

Lol a bit of sci-fi to justify the actors not wearing masks for the entire movie

Is the bad CGI robot some kind of Star Wars legacy? :D

Aww, poor Benoit Soo, one of the guests plans to murder the host for real, and invites a detective to frame another guest?

It’s been 30 minutes, can people start dying please (Not Andi though, that’d be uncool)

Love the scenery, and Craig’s outfit is nice

Cool shot where Andi has the same expression as the Mona Lisa

“This is reckless. And you’re gonna get somebody killed.”

Okay, so far we’ve established the motive for: Peg, Duke, Lionel, maybe Claire. What about Birdie? And the random guy hanging around? And Andi? Is Andi automatically disqualified because we saw her destroy the box? That could be a real alibi or a red herring.

Nooo, so awkward, I can’t watch this Oh, he did it on purpose, that makes it a bit less painful

Huh, he didn’t mention Andi in the monologue...

Oh good, exactly an hour into a murder mystery, someone finally died! Yes, yes, of course it was an attempt on Miles’ life, I thought we’ve already established he’s who everyone wants dead. Cool trick to keep Norton among the active cast, I thought it was weird for the most famous actor to play the victim. (It’s nice to see Norton again btw, I wondered a while ago why I hadn’t seen him in new movies recently.)

Lmao the lights! Now this is fun

Oh no, Andi! :(

Plot twist!! Well now he's responsible for an innocent woman’s death, that’s going to give him a motive to find the killer

This shit is wild

Hell yeah she’s alive!!!

Is she going to attack the Mona Lisa?..

I feel bad about the painting. The way this was framed as a triumphant moment has the same energy as that Tumblr post about destroying famous paintings because rich people like them.

Review

[Additional spoilers for Knives Out, The Last Jedi, Midsommar, and The Handmaiden]

The film takes too much time to get started. The characters are too flat to carry it until the plot actually launches. Only gets good after the plot twist. The secondhand embarrassment scenes are excruciating.

The plot: “rich people bad, the detective teams up with a pure-hearted woman of color and helps her win”, take two. Are they going to make a whole franchise out of this? Not a great foundation for murder mystery: just look for the most entitled white man and that’s your killer.

Benoit Blanc himself, though, is a good character to build a movie series around. A classic independent detective with a kind heart and a taste for adventure — I want to see more of him. Many people have said it already, but I want Blanc to replace Bond as Daniel Craig’s #1 role.

The biggest strength of the film were, of course, all of the clever and fun twists and reveals. As you can see from the liveblog, I was misdirected very successfully and loved it every time.

And now for the biggest flaw of Glass Onion in my eyes. Just like Knives Out, this film has an extremely fun outer layer wrapped around the heart that I find a genuine downer. Most of the shallow, annoying characters got off scot-free, and what was harmed the most in act 3 was an innocent painting. I’ve already seen The Last Jedi, I don’t really need the same ending scene as the Canto Bight storyline — except worse because the writer doesn’t see the difference between “rich asshole’s property” and “priceless piece of art”. Which is a bad enough take to see on Tumblr, but straight up baffling to encounter in a high budget movie, written by a professional filmmaker. (Amazing timing, though. How did they manage to release this not only in the middle of the Musk major meltdown/Twitter takeover but also soon after the Van Gogh soup discourse?)

In retrospect it also reminds me of a couple of other famous scenes with a female protagonist involved in destruction, and the comparison is not in Glass Onion’s favor. Midsommar also ends with the heroine and a huge symbolic fire, but it’s a horror/drama, and the event takes not only the lives of those caught in the fire but the soul of the heroine. The Handmaiden, on the other hand, features a scene of art destruction that is genuinely positive and cathartic, but the nature of art and the role it plays in human lives is radically different.

[Edited to add] I’ve seen people who liked the ending defend it by saying that people are more important than art. The thing is, if this were framed as the trolley problem — if destroying a priceless work of art were presented as the only way to save an unknown number of lives — I would feel differently. Instead, the film seems to want the viewer not to value the Mona Lisa just because the rich amoral characters do value it.

In a more Watsonian and practical sense, I don’t see how this is a win for Helen. She was the one who burned the painting. The fuel played only a minor part, the painting would have been destroyed just the same without it (in fact, that’s what expected Miles’ lighter to be for). But even if it were otherwise — okay, so this new fuel can easily cause a fire; well, so can electricity and gas if you’re not careful! Not great for PR of this specific product, but not a death sentence either. Most importantly, it’s the person who committed arson that will be charged for it, not the person who unwittingly provided the fuel for the fire.

I did have a good time, to be clear! Very worth watching unspoiled. The release was timed well: the overall lighthearted tone, clever twists, vibrant visuals (bright colors, stylish outfits, idyllic location) make this a good holiday movie.

I’m having trouble with a numerical grade (the worst part of IMDB and Letterboxd is that they make me care about grading, even though it doesn’t work with how I think about media at all). Glass Onion feels like a 7, but I gave Knives Out a 9 and they don’t feel two whole grades apart.

[princesssunnybee]

When It’s Over

Phoenix’s first thought as he watches the bailiff drag Kristoph away in handcuffs is, “I sure know how to pick ‘em.” He isn’t filled with rage, or sadness, or disappointment. He doesn’t try to lunge after him, he doesn’t scream, or cry. Phoenix stands and watches. He thinks back to Dahlia, how he reacted when she was found guilty for murder. He thinks back to how he stood in that courtroom with Mia at his side, throat hurting and heart broken. His heart doesn’t break now, at least not in the way it did with Dahlia. Now, he stands there and thinks “I sure know how to pick ‘em.” Trucy is by his side in an instant and he pulls her to him and kisses her temple. She’s his lifeline, and she knows that. “Let’s go home, Daddy,” she says softly, taking his hand and pulling him out of the courthouse.

Phoenix doesn’t sleep that night. He sits in the living room with the TV on, thinking about Kristoph. The six months they spent together in misery. The actual relationship had been over for months, almost as soon as it started. Phoenix isn’t an idiot. He can spot a murderer when he sees one, it’s kind of his job. Or, was. Kristoph took that from him too, though. If Phoenix is being honest with himself, the reason he stayed with Kristoph for as long as he did was so he could keep tabs on Kristoph. Keep your enemies closer and all that. It’s easier to know what a psychopath is up to when you’re in their bed.

In fact, Phoenix crafted rules when it came to Kristoph in the last few months of their relationship. First and foremost, never let him near Trucy. Phoenix can tolerate a lot of shit. Dragging his baby girl into it is something he won’t tolerate. Kristoph was never to set foot in the Wright apartment, something Phoenix made sure of. He put protections into place, when Ema was babysitting Trucy (which happened too often in Phoenix’s opinion, but he couldn’t exactly make his own hours at the Borscht Bowl Club), she knew never to let him through the doors of the elevator. Ema is one of the few people that Phoenix trusts, the lengths she went to so that Kristoph never set foot near their front door is one of the biggest reasons why.

Second rule, never give him important details about anything. With Kristoph, nearly everything important to Phoenix was on a strictly need to know basis. Need to know basis being any time he needed an excuse to divert suspicion from Kristoph discovering the jurist system in which Phoenix was investing all of his time. He was careful with continuity. If he told Kristoph he was visiting Khura’in with Trucy, he’d take Trucy to Khura’in and they’d catch up with Maya. If Phoenix happened to be working on the jurist system through Zoom, then so be it.

Phoenix’s third rule was implemented in the last month leading up to Kristoph’s arrest. With this nagging suspicion that Kristoph was trying to get rid of him per say, Phoenix wouldn’t eat anything that Kristoph had any part of. It really helped that Kristoph wasn’t much of a cook, allowing Phoenix to carefully look over the food and drink without too much of a fuss or without drawing too much attention to his true goal. The man had a nasty penchant for poison and Phoenix had no reason to believe that wouldn’t extend to the man Kristoph presumed to be his devoted lover.

The fourth and final rule was almost as important as not letting Kristoph near Trucy. Almost. Playing the part of the doting boyfriend wasn’t exactly easy for Phoenix, who was quickly growing to hate Kristoph’s guts towards the end there, but it was necessary to keep Kristoph at bay. To keep him clueless about the jurist system and everything that Phoenix knew along with it, Phoenix had to be a good boyfriend, a loving partner. In the first two months of their relationship, Phoenix has to admit that he was very charmed and enamored by Kristoph. He had a very charming demeanor, something darker and meaner only lurking under the surface when you really looked for it. When you don’t know what you’re looking for, it’s almost impossible to detect. That’s when Kristoph started being a little meaner with Phoenix. When he started trying to manipulate and abuse him into doing his bidding. Phoenix knew better, he had seen the same tactics when he was with Dahlia. The third month of that relationship was when Phoenix put the rules into place, rules so that he wouldn’t get attached, and more importantly, rules so that he wouldn’t get hurt. Phoenix remembers the night that he realized everything. How Kristoph had framed him, and how even then he was making attempts to control him. That night, Phoenix did something that he hadn’t done in a long time. He called Edgeworth.

Tonight, Phoenix has the same instinct. He checks the time, picks up the phone, and lets it ring. He isn’t sad, maybe a little bitter, definitely happy that his plan worked, but not sad. When Edgeworth picks up, Phoenix can tell that he’s smiling.

“I heard the news. Congratulations are in order, Wright.”

“Thank you. Maybe now we can work on getting my badge back.”

“Naturally. I can come back to the states for a while, maybe pull some strings at the prosecutor’s office.”

“That’s really not necessary, Miles.” They sit in comfortable silence for a bit, listening to each other’s breathing, and really, that’s the biggest difference. With Dahlia or Iris, or both, and Kristoph, it never felt like this. It never felt comfortable in the silence, maybe because with them, their silence was heavy with guilt or secrecy.

“How are you feeling?” Edgeworth asks after a while.

“I-” Phoenix cuts himself off, not wanting to lie. Edgeworth brings that out in him, wanting to be honest, wanting to be a better man, a good man. He knows that if he voiced that, Edgeworth would argue that he is a good man. Phoenix doesn’t know if that’s true, though, not anymore. He’s lied and cheated and even forged evidence that he gave to an unwitting defense attorney that reminded Phoenix a lot of himself. And Trucy. Who he’s hiding the truth from about her mother and Apollo. He isn't a good man. He wants to be for Edgeworth. He wants to be for Trucy, and even Apollo. So, he tries again. Lets out a bitter laugh, and tells the truth, voices the thought that’s been nagging at him since he watched the man he spent the past 6 months with break down.

“Well. I sure know how to pick ‘em, huh, Edgeworth?”

[fjsj]

fake dating p2

Frank Morrison x Reader

wordcount: 1061

warnings: none! (I don’t think)

A/N: man, I was planning on getting to the steamy kisses this part buuuut, I ended up setting it up for longer than I intended haha oops

Previous  Next

--

Funny how that was. More scared of being punk'd than you were of dying. Then again, death was just as long lasting as embarrassment here.

It had taken some time for the survivors to even realize that they could visit the killers' realms outside of trials. The woods surrounding the camp stretched for miles, the terrain unforgiving in some areas. Though if you walked for long enough, eventually you might stumble across one of their realms. Some were closer to the camp, and each other, than others. Most of the survivors didn't bother to go out that far, having no real reason to. Really, who would want to visit the people that mercilessly murder you on a regular basis? You did...apparently.

The lodge was, what you guessed to be, around five miles from camp. One of the closer realms actually, but the whole trek was on a slight incline and cold wind whipping by let you know you were getting close. It had been a few days since you'd made your deal with Frank, spending your time running trials and trying to collect your thoughts. Even now as you saw the rocky perimeter in the distance, you wanted to turn back and leave. What if this was just some dumb prank? You wouldn't put it past the group to do something like that, just to see how far you'd take it and how fast you'd crumble in embarrassment when you found out. But he had seemed sincere enough, so you swallowed the anxiety and walked a little faster.

Slipping past the short iron gate, you wrapped yourself up into a tight hug. It was snowing more than usual and the wind turned soft snowflakes into razors of ice against your face. You had managed to borrow a long sleeve shirt from Jake, though it did not sit on you right and it did little against the cold. Silently cursing, you wished someone would have lent you their coat but coats were a precious commodity. The Entity was not generous with its' gifts, and it was hard not to be thankful for getting anything clean regardless of its practicality.

"Boo."

You almost jumped out of your skin at the low whisper, spinning around to the source of the sound. You frowned at the grinning mask you were met with, sure that his face matched its' expression with how easily he had startled you. "Was starting to think you weren't gonna show." Frank said, tilting his head to one side as if curiously waiting for an explanation.

"Yeah, well, here I am." You simply shrugged, fingers curling further into your sleeves to try and stave off the chill. The Entity wasn't going to let you die, but you wouldn't be surprised if it let you lose a few fingers to frostbite. You instinctively stepped closer to him, seeking out some kind of heat. But then it hit you and a smile crept onto your face. "Alright lover-boy, hand over the jacket."

He scoffed, and you could almost feel his eyes roll beneath that damn mask. "What? No." As he protested, you wrapped your fingers around the soft leather of the jacket's front. You yanked him forward, relishing in the faint warmth from standing so close. You moved one hand from the jacket and up to his mask, making to push it up, only for him to grab your wrist. He didn't pull your hand away, but he did keep you from going any further. "You know Frank, if you don't start playing nice and at least pretending you like me then it's not going to be my fault when Julie doesn't believe your little lie."

Frank let out something akin to a growl, something that sent a shiver down your spine...and not necessarily in a bad way. He released your wrist and moved to unzip his top layer, meeting your smug face with a death glare as you finally pushed his mask up. He fully shrugged the leather jacket off and draped it over your shoulders, fingers lingering for a moment before pulling it tighter around your frame. "My knight in shining armor." You teased, only for him to roll his eyes. Still, his arm wrapped around your waist as he forcefully guided you towards the lodge.

"Before we go inside, I think I deserve an explanation as to why you told Julie we were dating?"

You didn't think you were going to get a response, as an uncomfortable silence fell between the both of you. Tension growing thick enough to cut with a knife, as he continued to push ahead.

But finally, you heard a hesitant sigh. "Her and Susie were being flirty 'nd shit in the kitchen, I told 'em to get a room and Julie accused me of being jealous." A genuine laugh fell out of him, like it was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard, "She said I was just upset because she'd moved on and I hadn't. Fuuck, we were only dating for a couple of weeks, I'm not that pathetic..but I guess I did get a little defensive."

His grip on your waist tightened ever so slightly, pulling you even closer into his side. And you couldn't help but press willingly closer, for the warmth...just for the warmth. Right? "You don't really mind I said it was you though, do you doll?" He asked, drawing you both to a stop at the entrance to the lodge, looking down at you with what you could only describe as devious intent. You swallowed hard, shifting your face and gaze away from his, the intensity making you feel things. Fuck, fuck, fuck, you weren't about to catch feelings for this asshole, no way. "I guess not..." You murmured in response, all your feistiness from before draining from you.

Frank's free hand came up to cup your jaw, the pad of his thumb resting softly on your lower lip. He pulled you back to look up at him, a predatory grin spread across his face. The pressure on your lower lip only increased until your lips were forced to part, and you thought for a moment he might slip his thumb between your teeth. Instead, he withdrew, patting your cheek like a child and pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead. "Good." With that, he released you entirely and opened the front door.

[casliveblog]

Custom Toonami Block Week 110 Rundown

Kaguya-sama: Love is War: I like how this one starts out by literally fast-forwarding through the intro bit, kinda wish more anime did that. We start off with a conversation about teenage fucking that would make Shinzo Abe cry and ends with Chika having to give the birds and the bees talk to Kaguya because everyone in this series is a ridiculous virgin but Kaguya exists outside of the realm of sexuality entirely apparently. Next up is a twenty questions game that has a neat format but I could see the punch line a mile away, I do like that the actual revelation comes because Miyuki knows that above all Kaguya is an asshole and of course is going to troll him, like these people are all horrible people but at least they call each other out on it. And last Kaguya’s cat gets a cat stuck in the engine which… idk if that’s just a random thing that happened or considering the insane level of improbably planning this series boasts I wouldn’t put it past her for Kaguya to shove a cat into her own engine so she can get some alone time to walk to school, like they don’t say that’s what happened but Kaguya does seem callous enough to do that. Anyway after a story that makes me kinda sad that America literally has nothing in walking distance from anything else, we get a nice little moment for Kaguya and Miyuki to ride to school together and they do show some restraint at least by having her wildly dangerously dangle off the back of his bike instead of the ‘grab onto me so you don’t fall off ‘ trope, I still have a lot of mixed feelings but this was a fun episode with some good moments and the dub voice acting is incredible.

Inuyasha: Bankotsu and Inuyasha finally clash and for the fun of it everyone else gets a little skirmish too, I wish we got some more in-depth fights with the side characters and these secondary Band of Seven members but usually all we get is them swinging their weapons at each other for a minute without anyone gaining any ground but it’s still nice to see Miroku and the background gang get some action. Renkotsu’s after Kagome because she knows he took her jewel shards and hasn’t given them to Bankotsu yet which… I mean I think the whole group knows that? Like it’s been a few days she probably told them. Sesshomaru’s group is at Mt. Hakurei and Rin meets up with Kohaku to find out there’s a fuckload of demons inside the supposedly pure mountain. Naraku calls return on the Band of Seven so they gotta cut the fight short and meet up with Kanna at Mt. Hakurei so they can go ‘hey kill Sesshomaru while you’re at it’ and repair Bankotsu’s Banryu from Inuyasha Wind Scaring a chunk out of it. Kanna rightly points out that Bankotsu would’ve lost if Inuyasha just opened with the Wind Scar like he never does for some reason and Bankotsu reveals he knows Renkotsu has Kagome’s shards and jams them into Banryu to fix it and power it up which like… couldn’t we have done that on the battlefield? This is literally ‘this could’ve been an email Naraku’ but the real reason is to push the reset button on the fight fights going on so we don’t have consequences from Miroku fighting Suikotsu or anything. But no Bakotsu is stronger and Inuyasha thinks that since Naraku’s Demon Puppet smelled pretty nice they can use that to get past the barrier or something idk.

Yu Yu Hakusho: So turns out Kurama got up a quarter of a second after his ten count (which he was kneeling for his attack against Karasu so that counts when the attack actually connected instead of when Karasu died or when Kurama fully stood so that’s actually kind of more generous than they had to be if you think about it) but yeah I’m just confused as to who’s making these rigged committee decisions anymore given Sakyo and Toguro murdered the whole committee before the final round, something Sakyo even admits to when Hiei says he wants them all dead when he wins, so who’s sitting here making these jacked up decisions and producing mysterious VHS tapes to provide frame by frame? Anyway it’s time for Bui vs Hiei and Bui can just... make axes, like this is the second guy whose power is making shit out of thin air which is still cool I guess but it’s kind of a weird theme for Team Toguro. Hiei manages to use the Mortal Flame to be a Kaioken man and fuck up the axes so Bui has to take off his armor which is of course ‘my fights are no fun unless I inhibit myself’ armor and Bui’s real power is… being a DBZ guy? Like he shoots ki and flies and shit, I think Bui vs Hiei may be the most referential fight to DBZ in the series and that is saying something. Considering Hiei broke his sword in the last fight it’s basically an aura battle between him and Bui to see who can go Super Saiyan harder, so then Hiei is all ‘thanks for removing your inhibitor thing, now I’ll remove MY inhibitor thing” and releases his black dragon super saiyan aura and I swear these are like the most anime fights ever.

Fate/Apocrypha: Sieg busts out of gay baby homunculus jail and Astolfo’s like ‘oh cool, a naked sticky guy that can’t stand up under his own power, dibs!’ And he and Chiron are like ‘well dude, congrats on being born, you’re gonna die’ and Sieg’s like ‘isn’t everyone?’ and Chiron’s like ‘well yes but you’re gonna die like before Sonic 3 comes out’ also Karna hunts down Jeanne and is all ‘I have a divine sun spear of immeasurable flames’ and Jeanne’s just like ‘cool, I have a flag, we’re evenly matched’ and then Sigfried steps in and his master is like ‘come join us’ but Jeanne’s all ‘I gotta sit here judging you all impartially’ and he’s like ‘well come be impartial on our side’ and she’s like ‘I don’t think you know what impartial means’ and we get a few scenes with Fran and Chiron, basically Fran wants a waifu and Chiron wants to not die and their masters want shit too but they’ll probably be dead soon so who cares. Also Mordred and Lion Dude are hanging out with the cryptkeeper and get the message that Spartacus is still running towards the castle which god damn dude he must be really slow he’s been running for like two days and still isn’t there while Karna was able to get from the Church to where Jeanne was coming in FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY and back and Sigfried was able to get out to fight Karna at the same location in like one day tops, bro Spartacus is weird and creepy-looking so if we could deal with that plot thread as soon as possible that’d be great.

Nisemonogatari: We finish up at Suruga’s house from last time with some slightly ominous commentary on the dynamic between Hitagi and Hanekawa and on his way out Kiyomi meets a dude named Kaiki who is basically the word sketchy in human form and is talking about how Suruga’s Apparation Power Level isn’t worth making money off of. Kiyomi mentions how he has the same feel as Oshino and another Apparition Hunter we haven’t heard of until now and Kiyomi basically ‘NOPE’s the fuck right out of there to not have to deal with him. He meets back up with Hitagi who puts him through the ringer about his harem shenanigans today before he mentions Kaiki and we flash forward to the scene from the start of the season where Hitagi has him in some kind of SAW type trap and they were doing weird water games. Hitagi finally comes clean that Kaiki was a conman that ripped her family off for a lot of money when she was having her weightlessness problem and ducked out before they could realize nothing had been done about it but she talks about him a lot more like she’s scared of him for more than just swiping money and is for some reason convinced he’s going to be after Kiyomi. He then gets a text from his little sister that just says ‘help’ and he breaks out of the Saw trap in a ‘for the record I could’ve done that at any time’ type of way and says he wouldn’t be himself if he didn’t run headlong into danger to help a female friend, especially a family member and Hitagi has to back down. Turns out Hanekawa’s also bossing Hitagi around because she calls her and Hitagi speaks more politely and submissively to her than she does to anyone else so that’s weird and also Kiyomi’s sister may be dying so we should probably hurry or some shit.

Speed Grapher: So now we’re getting somewhere, picking back up from the climax of episode 1 it turns out Kagura’s kiss to Saiga gave him the power to make anything he takes a picture of explode. Now at first I was like “That’s mildly more useful than just having a fucking gun’ but honestly it’s pretty cool and used to good effect as he combines it with destroying the scenery around him. He takes Kagura and hightails it out of there only to be cornered by Suitengu and his… ummm, guard dog lady I don’t remember the name of. Kagura’s understandably a little freaked out by the realization she’s become the supernatural crux of an Eyes Wide Shut cult of the Ultra Rich hoping to obtain superpowers by sexually assaulting her and decides to yeet herself into the river, dragging Saiga along with her. They resurface on a buoy and have a little heart to hear about how as long as you’re free and alive it doesn’t matter what you’ve been through and you can keep moving forward and all that. It’s a really quick little chat but it does help that we’ve had a full episode of backstory on each of these two that fleshes out where they’re coming from in this engagement. The Club goons catch up with them and take Kagura and shoot Saiga but luckily one of his new powers seems to also be wolverine healing (because a camera that reloads itself and randomly sticky hands weren’t enough of a bonus) and once he gets back Saiga kinda reflects on how Suitengu said Kagura’s kiss grants you desire and apparently Saiga just wanted to fucking murder people with a camera which he admits is kinda fucked up of him. Kagura wakes up in the family jail that all rich families have and Suitengu’s like ‘yeah all that Eyes Wide Shut sexual assault and murder photographer and almost drowning that happened? You dreamed that’ which has to be one of the weakest gaslighting approaches I’ve seen but to be fair he does play it straightfaced and already has her locked up so he doesn’t really need her to believe it. Saiga goes to his cop friend’s house and she’s like ‘oh boy he looks half dead he must wanna bang’ but he can’t because apparently he can only fuck when he’s taking pictures of the girl but now if he takes pictures of her she might explode and also she can only fuck if she’s holding a gun to someone’s head and this may be one of the weirdest relationships I’ve seen in anime and that’s fucking saying something. He does some research and finds out Kagura’s real identity with the magic of the internet and Kagura requests a magazine in her jail cell that has Saiga’s famous picture about freedom he pointed out to her and now they both know who each other are and take solace in the fact they may be able to help each other.

Durararax2: Everyone’s kind of scrambling in the fallout of Kadota’s hit and run, Walker and Saburo are hitting the streets and out for blood, Masaomi’s got a small group of the Yellow Scarves back together to beat Mikado’s sect of the Dollars up if they have to, Mikado’s got the abandonded building where the Russian Mob kidnapped Vorona as his base and are using it to ban Dollars trolls and keep an eye out for people fucking around before they find out. Aoba has a plan for Celty to be the Dollars new “mascot” now that Shizuo quit and Kadota’s MIA and despite Celty seeing right through this shady shit Aoba gives her the puppy dog eyes and she agrees to go see Mikado. Meanwhile someone hacked into Izaya’s Discord profile and is spreading rumors to start a gang war, and worse… meowing, the greatest of early 2000s internet crimes.

[conradscrime]

The Keddie Cabin Murders

April 30, 2021

In July 1979 a woman named Glenna Susan Sharp (known to everyone as “Sue”) left her Connecticut home with her 5 children after separating from her abusive husband, James Sharp. Sue and her children decided to move to California, where Sue’s brother Don was living. 

Sue first began renting a small trailer but then moved to house #28 in the community of Keddie. The previous occupant was a Plumas County sheriff, Sylvester Douglas Thomas, but when he moved out Sue and her 5 children, John age 15, Sheila age 14, Tina age 12, Rick age 10 and Greg age 5, moved in. 

Sue was a single mother of 5, struggling to make ends meet. She got $250 from her abusive ex, was on welfare and used food stamps. She also enrolled in a federal education program that allowed her to take business classes. Her classmates said she was a good student who got excellent grades, however they described her as a loner. 

A lot of people in the community didn’t like Sue. They gossiped about her being on welfare and they claimed she dated a lot of men. There was rumours that she slept with men for money or was dealing drugs. Most of the gossip about Sue was the fact that she kept to herself and didn’t have many friends, though Sue didn’t mind this. She didn’t care what people thought of her and she was only looking to improve her life, with dreams of opening her own business to be able to provide for her children. 

On April 11, 1981 at 11:30 am Sue and her children Sheila and Greg drove from their friends’ house to pick up her other son Rick who was at baseball tryouts at Gansner Field. On their drive Sue came across her eldest son John and his friend, Dana Wingate, who were hitchhiking from Quincy, California to Keddie. Sue picked the boys up and around 3:30 pm John and Dana hitchhiked back to Quincy where some believe that had plans to visit some of their friends. 

The evening of April 11, 1981 Sheila, Sue’s eldest daughter had plans to spend the night at her friends house, at the Seabolt family home, who happened to live adjacent to the Sharp’s home. Sheila left the home after 8pm and Sue was left with Rick, Greg and their friend Justin Eason (some sources call him Smartt) who was staying the night. Tina, Sue’s other daughter, was already at the Seabolt’s watching tv, but she returned home around 9:30 pm. 

Greg went to bed around 8:30 pm that night, and Tina at 9:30. Rick and Justin joined Sue to watch tv before they also went to bed around 10 pm. Sue stayed on the couch and was dozing off, but it was believed she didn’t want to fully go to bed until John and Dana returned. Allegedly people noticed some “odd” things that night. People heard a dog barking by Cabin #28 as well as noticing the back porch light was on at 4 am. 

At 7 or 8 am on the morning of April 12, 1981 Sheila arrived home from her sleepover at the Seabolt’s to change her clothes as she was planning to go to church with them, when she discovered the dead bodies of her mother Sue, her brother John, and John’s friend, Dana Wingate in the living room. All three had been bound with tape and wire. Tina was not found to be anywhere in the house, and the three younger children, Rick, Greg and their friend Justin were still alive, unharmed in a bedroom. Numerous sources say that the three boys must of slept through the murders though this claim has been contradicted. 

When Sheila discovered what had happened she ran back to the Seabolt’s home where Jamie Seabolt got Rick, Greg and Justin out of the house through the window. Jamie admitted he did enter the house through the backdoor at one point, to see if he could find anyone else alive, thus possibly contaminating the crime scene.

Two bloodied knives and one hammer were found at the scene, and one of the knives which was a steak knife had been bent at 30 degrees, clearly showing the brutality of the attack. The blood spatter evidence indicated that Sue, John and Dana had all been murdered in the living room where they were found.

Sue was found laying on her side near the sofa and nude from the waist down. She had been gagged with a blue bandana and her own panties which had been secured with tape. She had been stabbed in the chest and her throat was stabbed horizontally, the wound went through her larynx and nicking her spine. On the side of her head was an imprint matching the butt of a Daisy 880 Powerline BB/pellet rifle. Sheila claimed that the Sharp’s did not have any medical tape in the house so it was believed one of the killers brought it with them.

John’s throat had also been slashed and Dana had multiple head injuries and had been strangled to death. Both John and Dana had suffered blunt-force trauma to their heads caused by a hammer. The autopsies determined that Sue and John both died from knife wounds and blunt-force trauma but Dana had died from asphyxiation. 

Sheila and the Seabolt family both claimed they had not heard any commotion during the night however, a couple who lived nearby in house #16 were awakened at 1:15 am by what sounded like muffled screaming. Keddie cabin #28 showed no signs of forced entry but the telephone had been taken off the hook with the cord cut from the outlet and all the drapes were closed.

Tina, her shoes, jacket and a tool box were missing from the house. A man named Martin Smartt, who was a neighbour to the Sharp family and the step-father of Justin Eason, one of the boys found alive from the attack claimed that a claw hammer had gone missing from his home. The police interviewed Martin Smartt and determined that he gave “endless clues” in the case and seemed to want to throw suspicion away from himself. 

The police interviewed the Smartt family along with other locals and neighbours, including the Seabolt family who recalled seeing a green van parked at the Sharp’s house around 9pm.

A composite sketch of two suspects was drawn up based off testimony from Justin, who claims he witnessed the crimes. Justin gave lots of conflicting stories though, saying he had dreamt details of the murders but later claiming that he actually did witness them. Under hypnosis, Justin stated that he woke up to sounds coming from the living room while he was asleep in the bedroom with Rick and Greg. He went to see what the sounds were and saw Sue with two men, one with a moustache and short hair and the other was clean shaven with long hair. Both men were wearing gold framed glasses. 

Justin said John and Dana then entered the house and began to argue with the men. A fight broke out and Tina then entered the room and was taken out the cabin’s back door by one of the men. Because Justin’s story changed numerous times and his stepfather, Martin, was one of the main suspects, many believe Justin was threatened somehow, and that’s why his story changed a few times, to cover up for his stepfather. It also explains why Justin and the two younger boys were unharmed during the attack -- if Martin was involved why would he kill his stepson? Martin would of had to leave the two younger Sharp boys, Greg and Rick alone because they were sleeping in the same room as Justin. 

These composite sketches were drawn by a man named Harlan Embry who had no artistic abilities and was not trained in forensic sketching. There has never been an explanation as to why the police did not hire an actual forensic sketcher. The suspects were described as being in their late 20′s or early 30′s, one was between 5′11 to 6′2 tall with dark blonde hair and the other was between 5′6 to 5′10 with black greased hair.

Rumours began to start and some believed the murders had been ritualistic or had a drug trafficking motive. The Plumas County Sheriff, Doug Thomas, dismissed all of these stating that there was no drug paraphernalia or illegal drugs found in the home. A family acquaintance claimed that Dana Wingate had recently stolen LSD from local drug dealers but there was no proof of this. 

The police spent a lot of time trying to figure out what happened at Keddie Cabin #28 that night and the case was described as “frustrating.” In December 1983 detectives ruled out serial killers Henry Lee Lucas and Ottis Toole has suspects. 

The FBI thought Tina’s disappearance was a possible abduction. A grid pattern search of the area was done around the house with police canines but they found nothing.

On April 22, 1984, 3 years after the murders, a bottle collector found a portion of a human skull at Camp Eighteen near Feather Falls in Butte County, around 100 miles from Keddie. Shortly after the discovery, the Butte County Sheriff’s Office received an anonymous phone call with the person on the other end claiming those remains were Tina Sharp’s. This call was not documented in the case and a recording of it wasn’t found until 2013, at the bottom of an evidence box. The remains were positively identified as that of Tina Sharp in June 1984. Near Tina’s remains they found a blue nylon jacket, a blanket, a pair of Levi Strauss jeans with a missing back pocket and an empty surgical tape dispenser.

Keddie Cabin #28 was demolished in 2004 and in 2008 a documentary on the murders came out, with Marilyn Smartt, mother of Justin and wife of Martin Smartt, claiming that her husband and his friend John “Bo” Boubede who was living with the Smartt’s at the time, were responsible for the murders of the Sharp’s and Dana. Martin Smartt allegedly met John “Bo” a few weeks earlier in a Veteran’s hospital where he was being treated for PTSD after serving in the Vietnam war. Supposedly Martin was angry at Sue Sharp, claiming that she was interfering with his marriage as she allegedly would give Marilyn advice on how to leave his abuse. Martin was known to cheat on his wife, have violent outbursts and was even accused of selling drugs. Martin was working as a cook but had been fired a few weeks before the murders.

Marilyn Smartt claimed that on the night of the murders she left Martin and John “Bo” at a local bar around 11 pm and went home to go to sleep herself. Other sources say Marilyn went to the bar with the men herself and invited Sue to join them, but she declined. Supposedly all three came back home and when Marilyn went to bed at 11 the two men went back out to the bar. Around 2am she woke up to find the two men burning an unknown item in the wood stove. Marilyn also claimed that her husband Martin hated John Sharp with a passion. Other sources claim it was actually John “Bo” that didn’t like John Sharp and referred to him as a “punk.” 

However in the documentary, Sheriff Doug Thomas said he had interviewed Martin Smartt himself and that he had passed a polygraph test. Martin Smartt died of cancer in June 2000 (other sources say 2006). John “Bo” Boubede died in 1988 and apparently had ties to organized crime in Chicago. 

On March 24, 2016, almost 35 years after the murders, a hammer that was matching the description of the hammer Martin Smartt claimed had gone missing was found in a local pond and taken into evidence. Sheriff Hagwood who knew the Sharp family personally believes that this hammer was intentionally placed there. 

In a 2016 article published in the Sacramento Bee, it was stated that Martin Smartt left Keddie and drove to Reno, Nevada and while there sent Marilyn a letter that said, “I’ve paid the price of your love and now I’ve bought it with four people’s lives.” Marilyn, who has since been remarried, says she doesn’t recall ever receiving that letter but she did recognize the writing as being Martin’s. 

Plumas County Special Investigator Mike Gamberg stated that this letter was never taken into evidence and that the initial investigation of the murder’s in the 1980′s was done poorly. 

Martin Smartt’s counsellor also admitted that Martin told him about the murders of Sue and Tina, but claimed he didn’t have anything to do with the murders of John and Dana. He told the counsellor that Tina had to die because she had witnessed the whole thing and would be able to identify him. 

In April 2018, 37 years after the murders Mike Gamberg stated that there was DNA evidence found from a piece of tape at the crime scene and it was a match to a known living suspect. The investigation is still opened, with a $5000 reward for any information that leads to an arrest and prosecution in the case. 

The police say they know some of the living suspects who were involved in this case and are convinced that they are closer than ever to solving the Keddie Cabin murders. 

[queen-ofsunflowers]

DadWorth AU: Part 3 (Justice For All)

Justice for All has to be one of the angstier parts of this AU, right up there with some ideas I have for Apollo Justice. Especially considering the whole Miles “chooses death” thing. So, let’s dive into it!

< Part 2 | Part 4 >

Reunion, and Turnabout

Things fast forward a couple of months after the end of Rise from the Ashes. Gumshoe’s been taking care of Kay since Miles kind of fucked off. He’s been doing his best, and so are Sebastian and Klavier -- who have been trying to cheer up their third musketeer ever since they found out what happened. But Kay is miserable.

So, now summer break is here for her, Gumshoe decides to take her out to the mountains for the day to get out in nature and hopefully get her mind off of things. Even if it is for a little while.

However, that plan is totally ruined when he gets a call about a murder nearby. He’s the only detective in the area, so they have to go down to Kurain Village to check it out. And that’s where they run into Phoenix for the first time since the end of Rise. Both he and Kay are not doing well in the aftermath of that case, and neither are really sure what to do around each other. Needless to say, the whole interaction is awkward.

Gumshoe does not pick up on this. He asks Phoenix if he could keep an eye on Kay while he takes care of the investigation. After some hesitation and deliberation, Phoenix agrees. So Kay becomes his partner button and Phoenix finally get to interact one-on-one with each other during the investigation for Reunion.

This is the first time they get to do this, since they were either with Maya or Ema on previous cases. It’s still a bit awkward, but when Phoenix finds out that she’s studying to be a defense attorney, things get a little bit easier as they find common ground.

Phoenix unknowingly starting to settle into a mentor role? Yes.

Kay is super turned off by Morgan Fey (getting chills up her spine and a faint memory of Dahlia Hawthorne -- she saw the Fawles trial. Phoenix also gets the same vibes from her.) And is surprisingly good with Pearl.

Her reaction to learning that Franziska is the prosecutor for this case catches Phoenix’s attention. Kay hasn’t heard from Franziska outside of a few text messages to check in on her over the past few months, so the fact that she’s in the country and Kay’s only finding out about it now makes her wonder what’s going on.

Kay goes to meet with Maya at the detention center with Phoenix, and kind of gets overly excited when she sees that Maya is channeling Mia because if you remember, she looked up Mia. Mia was an idol for her. So getting to meet her -- even if it is through spirit channeling -- is the highlight of her week.

And then we get to the trial. Phoenix asks Kay if she wants to stand co-counsel and Kay immediately jumps at the chance to say yes. So this is technically her first trial (she’s excited for it, but a little bit sad that Miles isn’t there to see her). Franziska, on the other hand, is surprised that Kay is standing at the defense’s bench with Phoenix Wright, leading to a lot of things including seeing Kay as a traitor (reason why will be explained later.)

So, Kay stands in for Pearl as co-counsel. As a result, her spirit channeling abilities are not revealed until much later. In the second trial day, she’s not present due to Gumshoe’s intervention and keeping her busy (something which Pearl agrees to so long as Kay and Phoenix get Maya a Not Guilty).

The investigation moments are full of small bonding moments between Phoenix and Kay as they get to know each other a bit better.

So, Team Wright-Faraday get a Not Guilty verdict as promised. Kay’s super proud of herself for managing to do this and it puts her on cloud nine. Franziska only believes that Phoenix won because he had a semi-competent co-counsel with him (Aunt Fran starting to show that she’s proud of Kay a little bit, but is still incredibly pissed that she lost.) Overall, she isn’t sure how to feel about Kay in that moment, and it all comes down to one simple reason:

This is the first time Kay has smiled in months. Everyone who knows her is relieved to see it back.

After the case is closed, Maya does thank Kay for helping and Kay in return does try to cheer her up after the whole “morgan stabbed maya in the back” thing starts to settle in. Am I saying Maya and Kay friendship? Maya and Kay friendship. It starts here.

So, things are starting to look a little bit better for Kay.

The Lost Turnabout

It’s not... Kay’s not involved in this one. Teenage shenanigans happen here as the new school year at Themis starts up.

The first day of school is always pretty easy, but it gets pretty depressing for Kay when one of her professors decides a good idea to break the ice by talking about some of the more ridiculous things that have happened in court cases. It gets the class laughing, and isn’t a bad idea...

Unfortunately for Kay, though, the professor also brings up a certain defense attorney cross-examining a parrot. The memory of that trial brings up a whole lot of feelings for Kay and she just kind of falls quiet for the rest of the day.

But luckily, Klavier and Sebastian have known Kay for a year now, and they realize something’s wrong. So they (primarily Klavier, since he instigates the whole thing) decide to do something about it and distract her. Here is where teenage shenanigans come about.

Just wholesome fun with what is slowly becoming a favorite chaotic trio that ends with everyone collapsed on a couch with an old movie playing in the background. ...and possibly a few appearances from other characters. Who knows?

Kay only finds out about Phoenix’s trial after the fact from Maya, and she’s not sure whether to be impressed that Phoenix managed to do all that with amnesia or laugh about it. She decides to do both.

Turnabout Big Top

It all starts with Phoenix going from ace attorney to ace babysitter as he’s in charge of four teenagers and one small child. Over the past few months, he’s gotten acquainted with Klavier and Sebastian as well, especially after the trio used the Wright & Co. Law Offices as their own personal hangout spot to get homework done and hide out when needed (thank you Kay).

The only reason Kay is brought on as co-counsel for this case is because a: its winter break so she doesn’t have school to worry about and b: the time frame is the same as when Miles was arrested the year prior. If Phoenix is having a rough time, then so is Kay. Especially since this will also be her first birthday since the whole incident. She’s also at Wright & Co. for the same reason when Maya calls up with the case.

This case is not the best distraction for Kay, but at least its something. Lesson learned: as a lawyer, you gotta take the good with the frustrating. Things get worse with Franziska prosecuting again. Kay still doesn’t get what’s up with her and why she’s still getting called a traitor.

The boys are also in on this case because why not, though they don’t stand as co-counsel but rather just help with the investigation. Because we all know that Kristoph and Blaise wouldn’t agree to them standing on the defense’s side, one more than the other.

Kay openly admitting to getting a headache while trying to figure out what the heck is actually going on during the first trial day. She grew up with the Master of Logic himself, so trying to make sense of this without all the information is making her head run in circles. But she’s not going to give up.

It’s revealed when Franziska confronts Phoenix & Co. outside of the lodging house later that day that the reason Franziska calls Kay a traitor is that she deliberately is siding with the man responsible for Miles’s “death”, something that she never thought Kay would do.

Kay never blames Phoenix for what happened to Miles. She mostly blames Gant (and von Karma somewhat) for it. They were the ones who pushed him, not Phoenix. So, when Franziska openly blames Phoenix for what happened, Kay gets pretty pissed. 

When Phoenix and Maya continue their investigation, Kay goes to confront Franziska on that matter and just goes off. Months of bottled up emotions just kind of explode outward, and Franziska is the unfortunate target of it all. This blow-up is also the first time that Kay refers to Miles as her dad. Which hits pretty hard. Franziska starts regretting a few choices she’s made today. Klavier and Sebastian pull her away as she starts to break down.

So they just... let her cry it out in the circus’s cafeteria. They end up being the ones who find out about the incident with the lion (once Kay’s calmed down) rather that Phoenix and Maya. The story has them racing over to them, catching the duo just as they’re about to enter Acro’s room and things go about pretty much the same way they do canonically from there.

The next day is a bit hard, and its easy to pick up on the tension between Kay and Franziska here. Taking a page out of the anime, Kay, Klavier, a reluctant Sebastian and Maya recreating the crime for the entire court. She does feel bad about having to indict Acro, though, due to the circumstances surrounding everything.

Kay does a pretty good job, something which Gumshoe relays as a message to her, at the end of the trial, much to her surprise. Who else would be proud of her is something that she wants to know.

Meanwhile, Miles Edgeworth wonders how he’s going to tell his daughter that he’s still alive upon his return to the country. (and yes, he was the one who told gumshoe to tell kay that he was proud of her)

Farewell, My Turnabout

So, Kay at this point still doesn’t know that Miles is alive. He wants to get everything settled before he makes any grand reveals to anyone. He’s also still trying to figure out how to do it since that wasn’t supposed to happen. Kay wasn’t supposed to think he was dead. He told her that he was leaving, sure, but Kay was also half-asleep when he did. So, misunderstandings~

Meanwhile, Phoenix takes the girls (Maya, Pearl and Kay) to the Hero of Heroes Grand Prix. Kay’s gotten decently close to the members of Wright & Co. over the past few months, that much is clear by now.

Kay gets upset about Corrida’s murder because ya know. Jammin’ Ninja fan. She hopes that Engrade gets locked away for doing it. Maya thinks she just doesn’t like the Nickel Samurai, which isn’t that far off. Kay just doesn’t like Engarde thanks to reading Klavier’s tabloid magazines. She never gets to explain the contents of those magazines, though. Phoenix finds out about them later.

Things take a sharp turn when Maya is called to the front desk to answer her “call”. Kay goes with Maya because ya know. Buddy system. (”girls don’t let each other go anywhere alone, nick!” “*sigh* i will never understand teenagers...”)  i think. you know. where this about to go--

So, yeah. Kay gets kidnapped alongside Maya. She puts up a pretty decent fight against de Killer (look at the people she was around growing up, Kay probably does know a little self-defense), but in the end, she still gets ‘napped. And so, Phoenix has to defend Engarde or the two girls will “disappear”.

Things are made worse, as Phoenix is accosted by two teenage boys who can’t get in touch with their third musketeer who didn’t show up for school that day. He’s just trying to do his job, but Klavier and Sebastian are really stubborn and will not leave him alone.

And everything gets worse when Miles makes his grand revival. And then is made the prosecutor for this case. So, Phoenix is not having a very good week at all.

Phoenix and Gumshoe are doing the best to keep the fact that the girls are being held hostage from Edgeworth and the boys. Emphasis on try. All three know that there’s something going on, but they can’t figure out what.

Meanwhile, Kay and Maya are in a wine cellar. Kay has tried several times to break down the door, but it hasn’t worked. de Killer took their phones, so they have no way of contacting the outside. They’re screwed unless they can escape.

Maya realizes that they do have a way to contact the outside and uses her spirit channeling powers to contact Mia, and with Kay’s help manages to explain what’s going on and giving a message to Mia to give to Phoenix.

So, Pearl finally reveals her spirit channeling powers. It freaks Phoenix out at first, but he gets over it quickly because at this point, he’s kind of used to Fey Family Weirdness.

The first part of the trial goes on as pretty much the same as it did before. Afterwards, Phoenix does his best to keep the fact that the girls are kidnapped from Miles because he’s gonna flip the fuck out. And he fails. And Miles kind of does flip out.

So, de Killer and Engarde (more so de Killer because he did his research, he knows the connection with Kay that Edgeworth has) have two pawns to work with and dangle over both the prosecution and defense. And now Edgeworth has two assistants on his side: Sebastian and Klavier, who don’t want to see Kay hurt. However, as future prosecutors, they can’t do much to help Phoenix. So, they help out with the investigation (and using the excuse as this being extra credit for anyone who asks why there are two teenagers here.)

On the other side, Maya and Kay break out of the room they were locked in thanks to a card Maya finds. Things go about as well as they do canonically, but with more struggle. Kay makes a fucking mess trying to defend herself and Maya from de Killer, which will later show the police that something definitely went down here (and concerning the heck out of a good handful of people in the process).

Kay may not know the truth about the Yatagarasu yet, but she sure is acting like the Yatagarasu.

The investigation goes about as well as you expect it to. Klavier and Sebastian are doing their best, but they can’t do much since they’re still only students. And Miles is worried as hell for Kay and ends up wanting to tear Engarde apart. Klavier is right to not like Engarde, as was Kay earlier.

When the trial starts up again, you have both the prosecution, the defense and a few members of the gallery nervous as hell. Gumshoe is doing his best to find the girls, but Miles and Phoenix still need to stall for time.

They do their best, but things are going about as well as they do canonically with Edgeworth being more on edge due to Kay being in danger. And the last time he saw her was when he left. So, he wants to be able to reconcile with her.

Things go on much like they do in canon. The note, Gumshoe’s accident, etc. Mia’s with Kay, doing her best to help, but she’s not sure what more she can do because the girls are weak and tired from being held captive for so long.

More worry on both parts.

When de Killer threatens to kill Maya and Kay when Edgeworth and Phoenix press him and try to get more time, Miles is also there to beg him to leave them alone. This is also the first time that Miles openly refers to Kay as his daughter.

Not much is different there out. They manage to expose Engarde as the asshole that he is, the girls are released and Engarde is declared guilty.

The scene with Franziska at the airport and Phoenix giving Miles the whip takes place a bit earlier, as that’s where Miles goes first before going to meet with Kay. Because he’s still trying to figure out how he’s going to talk to Kay again.

Phoenix and the others meet Maya and Kay at the hospital (Kay and Maya were held captive without much food or water for about three days, and Kay has a few minor injuries from de Killer, so they do need medical attention). Maya has a tearful reunion with Mia (as channeled by Pearl), and Kay gets tackled by her friends on both sides.

And then Miles Edgeworth walks into the room a short while later and Kay does not know what to say. She thought that he was dead for over a year, and a lot of things start bubbling to the surface. She starts tearing up because she thought she would never see Miles again, and he with her.

As soon as he gets close enough, Kay hugs him and calls him stupid in a couple different ways. Miles accepts it and apologizes for making her worry. He promises not to vanish like that again, and returns the promise that Kay made in part 2: to not keep secrets from her again.

So, what they didn’t get at the end of part 2, Miles and Kay finally get at the end of JfA: a chance to actually rebuild and reconcile their relationship without anything getting in the way.

So Justice for All ends on a pretty good note.

That may be the end of Justice for All, but it’s not the end of the story. There are still more ripples to come and fun shenanigans.

[kitkatopinions]

Is it bad that i want ironwood to be alive in the show and travel with the ace ops and have a redemption? I know most of his fans are happy that he is dead so they cant ruin him anymore but still, his ending is so wrong to me like they redeemed cordo, emerald, FUCKING HAZEL, but not james? I was pulled back into rwby because of james and the atlas arc. v6 last episodes pissed me off so much i didnt even watched the finale to this day but then i saw scenes of james and winter and the ace ops in v7... and now i just want him to swim up from the ruins and be the amazing character he was before v8. His death is so fucking sad to me even with how much they ruined the character... he deserved a redemption arc the most (and better writers, sorry the ask got so long but james ironwood gives me so much feels)

You know, I am right there with you, anon. Here's the thing about James. We didn't see an on screen death and the writers kept his semblance completely unmentioned in volumes seven and eight, but made it public. Yes, Miles Luna said 'rest in pieces' (the total douche) when talking about him in a cameo, but tbh, Miles Luna is sloppy and unprofessional, he could straight up say whatever to try and make the next 'twist' in RWBY surprising.

In fact SPOILER ALERT. I don't remember who, but after Avengers Infinity War when Loki died, people in the project 'confirmed' that Loki was good and truly dead this time, and of course no one believed them and of course no one was surprised to see some version of Loki escape alive in End Game. They had a better ability to twist a not-quite lie out there, due to multiple universes and time travel or whatever (idk the details, I stopped paying attention after I watched and hated Thor Ragnarok.) But still, it stands that if you want to make a character death believable in today's day and age when 'character death' is taken back so regularly and sometimes multiple times per character, writers should A. show the death/show a body (which they didn't do for Ironwood or Watts,) and B. Not leave any character threads hanging.

With Ironwood, they didn't delve into enough emotional responses to things (like Oscar/Oz getting shot off a cliff, or Qrow ever confronting him,) which leaves his story feeling like it lacks a solution and like there's still a lot to be resolved there already. But confirming his semblance outside of the show proper, which seems to act as a form of at least partial mind control, is obviously one giant thread too. Of course, this is MKEK, so the likelihood that they were foolish enough to give Ironwood a semblance that forced his actions at least in part and then not address it, kill him off, and expect everyone to just be happy with that on top of the lack of emotional depth they bothered to give other characters in regards to his 'fall' is high. However, that doesn't make James feel dead, he still doesn't feel like a dead character to me, yet, even if I know a lot of the reasons for that feeling stem from bad writing.

But on top of his semblance being a very big thread that was left untouched, his semblance also would be a very easy out if the writers did want to bring him back or if they wanted to bring him back and redeem him. His semblance could help him survive Atlas and Mantle falling, and it could easily be explained as having pushed him into his acts of villainy. It would still feel like a big ol' retcon (especially with how hard they tried to convince everyone he's pure evil,) but for once, I would like a retcon that actually goes my way in this show. XD

On top of that, you're absolutely right that in the show where Hazel can get 'death equals redemptioned' and tell life lessons to Oscar, Ironwood could be able to be redeemed even without the semblance. In the show where Hazel can beat a child while victim blaming the already-a-victim-of-abuse guy in the kid's head for *checks notes* training young women to be able to fight the soulless monsters who will devour anyone (four to six year old child or not,) and then get redeemed within 24 hours of that... yeah, Ironwood could be able to be redeemed. Emerald can murder Penny, try to kill everyone else at Haven, try to murder Penny again in Atlas, and then join the friend group enough that everyone good naturedly ribs her, including Penny who giggles over Emerald saying 'switched sides' despite the fact that Emerald never once apologized for literally murdering her in cold blood. So yeah, I don't think it'd be off brand of the show to have the 'does bad for good reasons' guy get redeemed even if they did make him express regret that he hadn't tortured children. Clearly, the standard isn't 'if they apologize they're worthy of redemption,' and the standard isn't 'if they only always had good intentions they're worthy of redemption' or 'only kids who are villains can get redeemed,' or even 'so long as they haven't tortured or tried to kill children they're worthy of redemption.'

However, here's where things get a little tricky. Because the standard in RWBY seems to have much more to do with what was done personally against the main group that made them mad or sad, rather than actual moral standings, harm done to the world, intentions, etc. I've talked about that idea in another post, that the show (whether intentionally or otherwise) is treating going against Ruby and her team as worse than actual criminal acts. Emerald's actions are easily brushed aside without her ever admitting she was wrong or trying to apologize, but Ozpin's act of not explicitly trusting Team RWBY with dire secrets months after knowing them is so unquestioningly bad that he has to give an in-depth and very serious apology while explicitly saying he was in the wrong, which the mains then begrudgingly and seriously accept (even though they were laughing with Emerald mere seconds before.) Which isn't to say that I don't think Ozpin had anything to apologize for, just that the framing of Ozpin's dialogue and reception versus Emerald's is ridiculous. Therefore Ironwood being redeemed after wishing he could torture, shooting a child off a high place, and threatening to destroy a town... In the narrative of the show, that can be brushed aside fairly easily. But both the show and the FNDM at large have constructed a narrative where going against the mains is what's treated as hard to come back from and worthy of all the ire and disgust in the world - unless the character comes crawling back, bowing to Ruby's whims in every plan, and regretting ever doubting Ruby's amazing simple soul and the protagonist approved goals she's decided on.

If the price of Ironwood coming back and being redeemed is him kissing up to Ruby and joining the gang of people who just pat her on the back and assure her she doesn't ever need to change or listen to others... I might kindly ask MKEK to keep him dead. Ironwood belongs to his fans now as far as I'm concerned.

They can bring James back, and they even have an easy way to redeem him in their back pocket. But I don't trust them as far as I can throw them, and with the way they've been writing their show, I'd just as soon let James rest.

[digitalstowaway]

doobla11shiny replied to your post:

XD “I’m glad we can talk about this” Well, as uncomfortable as that topic may be, I feel like Phoenix is the only person Edgeworth would be willing to talk about this type of stuff with.

Also, sorry if I’m prying or bothering you with this question but I’m curious, in this AU, how did Edgeworth end up with Scout? I feel like there’s a backstory here that I don’t fully understand and really want to know about

Thank you! I never wanted to come out and say what the backstory to the Scout AU was unless someone asked for it bc I know it can be squicky for a lot of people. So thank you for asking because I have a whole backstory for them!

It starts as many things in the AA universe starts. Von Karma is not a good parent nor a good teacher and neither Franziska nor Miles are brought up with the best sex education.

Miles is trans in this AU and has known from a very young age (it’s a hc of mine that spreads across many AUs). Gregory had plans to start him on puberty blockers, and they were going to educate themselves on it all together but it never happened because you know. So, it falls on von Karma when Miles very sheepishly asks, years later, if he can do something.

And von Karma is an asshole and abusive, but he reasons with himself that Miles can’t become a decent attorney if he’s overwhelmed by dysphoria as a teen. Miles gets to start T but there’s not a whole lot of Discussion about it, you know? Von Karma really did the bare minimum to get him some medical care.

Miles is about 21 and he’s exploring sexual relationships for the first time, and he’s meeting all these men that travel in all these attorney social cricles. And he doesn’t realize that HRT doesn’t work as a contraceptive. He thinks that since he hasn’t menstruated since he was a teen, there’s no risk. That’s how it should work, right?

But it doesn’t. He ends up pregnant and thinks that well, having a child might be nice. He doesn’t have much of a family, and he’s been longing for that for so long. He decides to do the single father thing. He doesn’t ever learn who Scout’s other father is, but he thinks that it’s probably best not to track down the guy and be like, “Turns out I should have been taking birth control, and yeah I probably should have mentioned to you that I wasn’t taking birth control. Anyway, I’m having your kid and you might want to check your condoms. It appears they’re defective.”

Von Karma doesn’t really care (not until Scout is actually born and he sees it as another potential student he can groom to carry on his legacy and make himself look good). Franziska is immediately like, “Well, I guess have to be an aunt now, huh?” And doesn’t wait for a response before she sits in on nanny interviews and tags along on shopping trips.

Miles is a very, very overwhelmed and tired dad for a while and for a hot minute, he kinda grows distance. It’s around the time he gets framed for Robert Hammond’s murder. He just feels like he’s not a good father (he is) and starts thinking that if he murdered his father, what’ll stop him from hurting his daughter?

But all at once (after his trial) he realizes that Scout is a very happy toddler and that he’s been developing a lovely relationship with her. And it goes from there. He becomes a very doting father and starts getting support from new friends.

[whattodowithace]

It's Basically The Lion King [Chapter 2] (Seyoon)

Title: It's Basically The Lion King

Pairing: Seyoon x Reader

Genre: Angst; Fluff; Spice

Word Count: 15,072 Words [All Chapters]

Writer: Kpopmadness & Whattodowithkpop

Warning: Mentions of death

*****

The princess  awoke to the sound of her prison door  being opened. She had actually slept for the first time in the weeks following her brothers death.  She had spent many nights sobbing and wishing her brother would wake up. That this was all a dream. Or perhaps a prank, like the ones her brother used to pull on her as children. But reality always hit her like crashing waves. He was gone, her uncle killed her brother,  framed her as the murderer.

Something between sadness for her brothers death, and hatred for the man she had grown up with and had betrayed her,  stayed in her mind every hour she sat in that prison. It grew until she didn't feel shame over the false accusation laid against her. She didn't feel anything. Her emotions were worn out as a plan to somehow prove her uncle a liar formed in her swirling thoughts. Giving her a ray of hope. 

Her uncle had informed her of her departure to Exile Island. The thought of the island made her stomach burn and her heart race with anxiety.  She had read about it in her history books, but to actually be going there herself, for a crime she did not commit made her feel sick. The only thing good about the trip is that it would take them a month to reach the island. Giving her time to somehow break free and return to reclaim her kingdom. But if she couldn't do that,  she would never return. 

A guard stepped into her room and ordered her up. Once she brought herself up to full height, the guard put chains on her that cuffed onto her wrists and then had a longer chain for him to have a hold of.  The cold metal from the chains bit at her hot skin, causing it to itch slightly.

Without a word, he drug her from her old cell and out into the sunlight. Her eyes burned as they slowly adjusted to the harsh contrast of the dark prison. But her ears, her ears immediately heard the sounds of her former people, a people that once loved her and greeted her warmly, were now shouting and cursing her as the guard led her along.  

Even as shouts filled her ears she refused to cry. She refused to bow her head in shame and act like the criminal.  She saw her uncle dressed in royal attire just in front of her making a fresh wave of anger course through her as she met his smug eyes. She jerked against the chains slightly, wishing she could break them. The guard jerked her hard, pulling her to the front, her balance slipping slightly as she went to her knees. The crowd gathered around them laughed.

Her cheeks burned but the princess still brought herself up to full height as the guard handed his end of her chain to the solider in front of them. He stood beside a camel loaded down with bags and equipment for their journey. 

His dark eyes felt like they would see straight through her, making her shift her feet uncomfortably.  His face remained expressionless as the guard handed over her chains and the key to let her lose, which he promptly put in a breast pocket on his dark tunic. 

Her royal gown had been taken away and a dark pair of pants and a matching shirt with boots were given to her. The clothes were designed to block the suns rays and protect the skin from burning. They would be walking all the way to Exile Island. The thought of walking through the hot desert for several miles made her heart drop. 

The new king walked over to the blonde solider and put a hand on his shoulder, a proud smile on his face as if the man was his favorite nephew. Then he turned to her, his gaze turning to ice. 

"Well my dear, i hope you enjoy the island. It is a fitting place for criminals like you to go after all."

The princess met his gaze, a fire igniting in her heart. She opened her mouth to speak, since she was in front of people she could take this time to speak loud enough for people to hear her.

But the king quickly took a cloth and tied it around her mouth, stopping her words. 

"Don't even try, snitch. You are going to that island to die and that's final." He whispered darkly in her ear. "By the way," He added, "This is the rope i used to strangle your brother. Have fun living with this fact on your way to the island."

She jerked against the rope roughly, screaming against the cloth stuffed in her mouth. The solider that had a hold of her rope jerked her roughly, forcing her to walk forward to him. More soldiers walked up to her to place a long chain at the end of the rope to give the solider taking her away a more sturdy restraint.

The crowd cheered as they made their departure from the city, the new king encouraging the crowd to cheer louder. Slowly, the sounds of cheering faded as  they got further and further from the city.

They went on silently for some time. Slowly the lush meadow that surrounded the city and the palace faded, the trees slowly disappearing as the landscape turned into sand. The air turned more dry as the sun felt like it was steadily getting hotter the further into the desert they walked.

The princess took in the appearance of the man leading them. The solider was a few inches taller than she was and had much more muscle and physical strength than she. He had slightly wavy blonde hair that highlighted his tan skin. He seemed quiet but alert. His head turning continuously to check their surroundings. Every now and again he would look behind to her, his dark eyes only staying on her for a moment before turning his head back to look straight ahead. 

They went some time, the sun beating down on them harder and harder as the day progressed. A steady stream of sweat had begun to fall down the princesses face and back. Her white hair clung to her neck, making her wish she could put it up somehow. The cloth stuck in her mouth only made her lips feel chapped and her mouth dry. Her legs aching with every step taken through the thick sand. 

The solider came to a stop, pulling on the reigns of the camel, making it slow. The princess immediately sat down on the sand. Not caring that it was hot.  The solider took a skin bottle from one of the leather bags slung over the camel before crouching down in front of her. His hands reached up and untied the gag from around her mouth. A rush of relief filled the former princess at being able to fully close her mouth again.

"Drink." He said, putting the water skin into her chained hands. 

She took several swigs as she watched the man walk around the camel to retrieve a long scarf like material from another bag. He crouched down in front of her again and took the water from her hands before replacing it with the scarf.

"Put this around your head." He ordered as he stood up and took a swig of water himself.

"Why?" The princess asked, her own voice sounding foreign from not having used it in so long. 

"Because the further we go the hotter it will get. We need to protect our heads from getting burned by the sun." He answered shortly as he wrapped a scarf similar to hers around his head. 

The princess stood up, the chains rattling as she did so, causing the solider to take a defensive stance.

"How long are we going to walk today?" She asked, wrapping the material around her head, the shade it provided bringing her burning cheeks a measure of relief.

The solider  put the water away before making a clicking sound with his tongue, making the camel walk on. The solider gently tugged at her chains making her start walking.

She gave off a huff and fell silent for a moment. Then she asked, "Do you have a name?" 

The solider was silent, the only sound was the sound of his feet sinking in the sand slightly as they walked. 

"We're going to be stuck together for a month." She whined, "At least let me know who's leading me to a life of exile." 

The solider kept walking for some time, silence stretching between them. The princess had given up getting a name out of him before he said, "Mouse."

The princess stared at his back puzzled, "Excuse me?"

"At my regiment, the boys have a name for prisoners. We call them mice because the prison is located under ground. They only see the light of day if they're lucky. And at Exile Island, you defiantly won't be seeing the sun."

The princess let out a gasp, "I am not a mouse! I asked for your name." 

Silence answered her, making her feel more angry. "Savage." She muttered under her breath.

The solider stopped and turned toward her, "What did you call me?"

"Isn't that all you soldiers are? Savages determined to show off how skilled they think they are. People that obviously seem to get their fun from calling people names when they haven’t done anything wrong.” 

The solider who she had now deemed as a savage scoffed and started walking again. Then he stopped and pulled her chain extra hard so she fell onto the sand. Her face coated with the rough texture. 

She glared up at him, his dark eyes met hers evenly. His frame towering over her.

“Let’s get something straight, mouse.” He snarled. 

“I’m supposed to bring you to exile island, alive. But until we get there, you are under my supervision. So I would suggest you watch your mouth and do as I tell you. Because if I had it my way I would leave you here in this desert to die. Do you understand me?” 

She huffed and stood back up, brushing sand off her clothes. She could already tell this was going to be a long journey. 

Previous Chapter ~ Next Chapter

It's Basically The Lion King Masterlist

[bellemorte180]

My Soul to Take....

A/N: okay, this is COMPLETELY unfinished and like I said, ends rather abruptly. Idk if I’ll ever finish it but here is what I have. @clichefangirldreamer, hope you like it.

Mystic Falls

May 2010

The invitations had been sent out and all of those who had been invited, who were not family, were confused. In the weeks following the spell Bonnie performed, it had been quiet. There were no mysterious deaths within Mystic Falls. There were a few strange accidents about fifty or so miles away from the town but nothing that caught either Bonnie's or Elena's attention. It was Damon who pointed out the weird deaths and swore that it wasn't him.

It was clear that the Originals were hunting for prey but it wasn't often and far away from Mystic Falls. Damon explained that it was most likely because they were so old they didn't need blood as often and when they did, they must be masters at covering their tracks. Stefan still had not returned from wherever he had gone and he made no attempts at contacting any of them; even Damon. It stressed Elena to no end and she found herself spending more and more time with Damon.

Even though it was their clear intent on staying in Mystic Falls, the Originals made zero contact with any of them; outside of the occasional glimpses they saw of them in town. So, it confused all of them when an invitation arrived to dine with them on the second Saturday night in May. Damon all but refused to allow Elena to go but Bonnie felt compelled to accept the invitation, Caroline's number still burning a hole in her wallet and Elena wasn't going to see her best friend walk into the lion's den alone. Thus Damon found himself dressed up in a suit and dragged to the Mikaelson Manner for dinner.

The manor was huge and had a very old southern feel to it. It was located about five miles outside of the town's boundaries. It was surrounded by woods and the property was completely fenced off by a large black iron gate. The front had a roundabout as a driveway with a fountain in the center. The manor was completely white with stone pillars standing tall in the front. There were at least three balconies that could be seen and large windows with shutters on the side. The front entrance hall, when the three of them were granted entrance by a compelled butler, was home to a massive grand staircase.

“I'd rather be dining with Katherine down in the tomb.” He muttered dryly and Elena smacked his chest. He simply rolled his eyes at her and rubbed his chest as though she actually had wounded her. Elena hissed at him to be silent, knowing full well that Damon had a tendency to allow his mouth to get him into trouble.

“I do wonder why they are keeping her down there.” Bonnie mentioned casually. In truth, she forgot about Katherine. For all intentions and purposes, Katherine was gone. After the curse she placed on Caroline, they all knew that Klaus was not going to let her go. So, instead she was still rotting down in the tomb; a fact that Damon found much pleasure in.

“Why little miss witch? Going to use that favor of yours to break her out?” Damon smirked at her.

“Elena!” Bonnie hissed. She had never mentioned to Damon that Caroline offered her a favor in return for the spell she casted. She also wanted to keep that quiet but it was clear that Elena was becoming closer to Damon and Bonnie wasn't sure exactly how she felt about that.

“Welcome!” The three turned to see Caroline strolling towards them, her stiletto heels echoing off the hardwood flooring. She appeared stronger than when they had seen her previously. She was smiling at them widely and had this complete air of happiness that surrounded her. She was in a little black dress and her long blonde hair was piled on top of her head in an impressive updo. The diamond earrings that hung from her earlobes framed her face, drawing attention to her face instead of her body. “I'm glad you could make it. Come, we are having cocktails in the living area. Mr. Salvatore, I understand that you're a bourbon man?” Damon nodded, eyeing her with suspicion. “Perfect. If you would like to be infused in blood please let me know. I can have one of the waitstaff prepare it as such.”

In perfect hostess fashion, Caroline linked her arms with Bonnie and led her guest into the living area. They noticed that they were not the only ones in attendance. All of the Mikaelson siblings were there including the dark vampire Marcel. Damon recognized Rose-Marie, the vampire that warned him of Klaus returning but didn't pay any attention to the dark haired vampire by her side in favor of the one who was leaning against the fireplace in a deep conversation with Klaus.

“Stefan!” Elena's voice cried out and she made her way across the room to him. She launched herself into his arms and wrapped hers around his neck. It took her a moment to realize how stiff his posture was but she quickly became distracted by the sound of breaking glass. Her head turned to see Rebekah, who wore a silk green dress, with a broken glass in her hand and a murderous look upon her face.

“Sorry. I don't know my own strength.” Rebekah muttered. Stefan stepped away from Elena and she looked at him with a hurt expression. Damon pulled her away, concerned that the blonde vampire might attack her in a fit of jealousy.

“Yes, well, accidents do happen.” Caroline replied and snapped her fingers. As though they were trained to perfection, several waiters appeared in order to clean up the mess quickly. Bonnie stood in amazement for she had never seen such flawlessness plan executed before her; for she didn't even see the staff until they were needed. “Now, most of you already know but for those that do not, I only have one rule to my soirees, no bloodshed. That can be handled after.” Caroline turned to Klaus and pointed her finger at him. “And that includes you.” Klaus took her hand and kissed her knuckles.

“I would never dream of ruining one of your carefully planned evenings with bloodshed Sweetheart, especially when you slaved over it for the past week despite the fact that you should have been resting.” Klaus kissed the back of her hand again, smirk firmly in place while Caroline just narrowed her eyes.

“Now Caroline, we have attended many of your gatherings in the past and most didn't end in bloodshed.” Kol chimed up. “In fact I remember one in particular where you looked fetching! Vervain weaved through your hair and everything.”

“No one wants to hear ancient history brother.” Elijah replied, narrowing his eyes at Kol, who had spent the majority of his day in the laps of college girls who now remembered nothing of the terror Kol put them through.

“I wouldn't be so sure. Bonnie enjoyed the history lesson from Freya and I. Didn't you Darling?”

“Don't call me 'darling'”

“I do like them feisty.” Kol leered at her and Bonnie scowled right back.

“Kol. Stop or I'll snap your neck.”

“Freya! Caroline said no bloodshed.”

“I'll allow it.”

“Not fair!”

“Kol.” Klaus replied with a tone that couldn't be argued with. Kol fell silent but glared at his older brother. Klaus turned to his wife and smiled at her. “I do have to agree with Kol on one thing though. You did look beautiful that night.”

“Why were you wearing vervain? Wouldn't that have burned you?” Elena asked and Caroline looked at her with a small smile. It was the first time that Caroline looked at her without a hint of contempt. She either was trying to separate her from the previous doppelgangers or she was just really talented at hiding her true feelings. Elena couldn't be sure which one it was.

“It was when we were still human. The village elders held a Summerfest each year at the close of summer. It was a way to welcome the Autumn season and choose which animals we would keep through the winter and which we would slaughter. It was a night of merry making and lots of drinking.” Caroline chuckled. “That year the elders asked me to help prepare for it. It was a great honor bestowed upon me.”

“A great honor upon me as well.” Klaus replied and smiled at her. The two shared a look for a moment, memories of the first few months together flew through their minds. “Although you did not make it easy love. There were times I thought you would walk away completely.”

“I do not think I could have if I wanted to. Despite others who may have tried to convince me otherwise.”

“She was jealous, Sweetheart. She just wanted to get under your skin.” Klaus replied. He held her close and kissed the top of her head. Most could see that Klaus was not going to allow Caroline out of his arms for most of the night. Having her awake again was still new and hard for him to believe. “It has been a thousand years and her memory still haunts you.”

“Who?”

“One of your ancestors, doppelganger.” Kol chuckled. “You see, you and Katerina are not the first who enjoyed playing brother against brother.” Both Klaus and Elijah hissed. “What? It is the truth, right? She had you both wrapped around her pinky until Klaus wised up and fell the blonde bombshell I am proud to call my sister.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere Kol.” Caroline teased.

“Wait, you're saying that both Klaus and Elijah loved a doppelganger when you were human?” Damon asked with a smirk. “And here I thought the love story of Klaus and Caroline starred only them from the beginning of time.”

“It is our families misfortune to be cursed with the doppelgangers.” Rebekah snapped. Her eyes glared into Elena's. Stefan walked over to her and placed his hand on her shoulder and whispered something to her. She relaxed slightly. Elena however looked at them with a look of contempt and hurt written on her face.

“Tatia was not a curse Rebekah. She may have been jealous and petty but you did not know her like I did.” Elijah replied.

“A thousand years and you're still in love with her.” Klaus stated. Caroline snorted and rolled her eyes but Klaus could tell that she was tense. She always did hate when the conversation turned to Tatia; no matter how many times Klaus reassured her that the girl meant nothing to him now. “Do the Salvatore brothers a favor and do not fall in love with this one. You do seem to have a type.”

“Elena has enough admiration. She is safe from my affections.” Elijah replied. “And I will not lie and say that Tatia did not hurt me, especially when she made it obvious she had been with you. However, I loved her enough to look past it; at least till a point. Without her, vampires would not exists”

“Sounds more like a prehistoric soup opera if you ask me.” Damon chuckled. He raised his bourbon to his lips and fixed his eyes on Klaus and Caroline. “Why don't you enlighten us with details Dracula, Dracula's bride. Whoo me.”  

*

Ancient Mystic Falls

Summer 1000

The fire burned high and the merry cries could be heard from those who were dancing around it. Ale was passed around and for one of the few times, the village wasn't plagued by what could possibly happen with the wolves. It wasn't a full moon and they simply let themselves enjoy the moment. Summer was coming to an end and they were to embrace the autumn season.

Klaus rested his back against a log with a drink in his hand. Ale wasn't one of his favorite drinks but it served a purpose. It helped drown out the memory of Tatia and his brother. True, it had been months since he saw them in the woods and months since he walked away. He knew Elijah had feelings for her but seeing Tatia giving herself to him in the same manner that she did with him was too much to accept and forgive. What hurt the most was his brother's betrayal; Klaus had thought that Tatia had chosen him and Elijah knew that he had taken her to bed.

“Niklaus.” Elijah's voice sounded from beside him and Klaus turned to look at him. He had not really spoken more than a few sentences to him in months and no matter of groveling could Elijah get his brother to break. It was the betrayal that hurt more than anything else and Elijah knew that. He took a seat on the ground and watched his brother glance into the fire absentmindedly. “Please, Niklaus at least speak to me.”

“Tatia looks lonely. Perhaps you should go to her.” It amazed even Klaus how Tatia's name did not come from his lips in bitter resentment anymore. Elijah's eyes moved towards the brown haired girl dancing around the fire in a mask. She was being twirled around by one of the village elder's sons. “Do not worry though brother, I am not one of the many men who you have to fight for her affections anymore.”

“She is hurt by your abandonment.”

“Her heartache is not something that haunts me anymore.” The brothers fell into silence. Neither knew where to go from here. Klaus wanted nothing more than to have the relationship he once had had with his brother but he just wasn't ready for forgiveness just yet, no matter how much grief it caused his mother. Instead of sitting in nothing but silence, Klaus stood and walked away from Elijah completely; taking another sip of ale.

“Perhaps it would be best to rid your soul of the darkness that plagues it Niklaus.” Klaus stopped abruptly and turned. Ayana stood watching him with curious eyes. Klaus had never been close to the witch but he knew that his mother trusted her. She was extremely powerful and even Klaus could feel the magic radiate from her. He knew of his mother's abilities and that Ayana taught her almost everything she knew; his mother passing the magical knowledge onto his brother Kol. Ayana was one of the elders of the village and highly respected one at that.

“What do you know of my soul?” Klaus snapped at her, feeling guilty the moment he did but Ayana did not look offended. If anything she appeared to be far more amused than anything else.

“We are a mix of people here. There is no place like it in the world. Your family comes from far away, a land full of vikings. Your father gave up his wealth and privilege to protect his family.” Klaus knew this and wanted nothing more than to tell the witch that she knew nothing of his father or his family. “I came from somewhere farther south. Where cliffs and rocks clashed with the sea. You could taste the salt in the air. I miss it sometimes.”

“If you miss it, why leave? Why come here?”

“To escape the darkness that was created a thousand years ago.” Ayana moved forward and placed her hand on his shoulder. “I followed the light.” Ayanna motioned her hand to the fire and as though he was under a spell, Klaus looked across the fire and saw something beautiful. Long blonde hair hung down around her waist and the purple flowers that lingered in the fields weaved through the braid at the top of her hair. He could hear her laugh as she danced with the other girls around the fire. “Caroline's family came from a kingdom hundreds of miles from your father's home lands.”

“You know her?” In truth, everyone did. It was a small village and everyone was connected somehow. He knew Caroline through her friendship with his sister but Klaus wondered if they ever shared more than a word or two. The vision he had of Caroline consisted of the sixteen year old girl who made sure the girls finished their chores in quick order. The elders adored her and was trusted among everyone. While Tatia was the girl every man desired, Caroline was the one who seemed to be the most overlooked. In that moment, Klaus wondered why he never really saw her before and how foolish the rest of the village was.

“I was the one to ask her to ensure everything was perfect for tonight.” Klaus looked at Ayana's small smile. The summer festival was given to the village as a gift from the elders. Never before had they had given such a responsibility to someone so young. “She is full of light, is she not?” With that Ayana walked away but Klaus didn't notice. His eyes focused on the smile that was casted upon Caroline's lips.

He moved around the fire just to get a glimpse of her. He saw Rebekah grab her hand and whisper something in her ear. Caroline blushed and laughed, shaking her head. His sister pouted and begged for something. Caroline narrowed her eyes before rolling them and reluctantly agreeing to something. Then a soft melody came from her lips and Klaus was frozen. He had never heard such breathtaking melodies that touched his soul. He once thought his mother had a beautiful voice as she sang to her children in the morning but suddenly, Klaus realized that he was completely wrong.

He simply stood transfixed, listening to her voice. There was something in the air; as though her voice casted a spell. Those around him seemed to agree that her voice was enchanting but none of them seemed to be completely lost in her. He didn't understand what was happening to him. He had known her for years but it felt like this was the first time he really saw her; he didn't understand but it was as though he felt magic in the air, drawing him towards her.

He looked to the ground and saw a mask made of deer skin and fur lying on the ground. He grabbed the mask and placed it upon his face. While not everyone wore masks during the festival, many did. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tatia still dancing around the fire with a mask firmly on her face. Instead of gravitating towards her, as he would have months prior, he moved towards Caroline and his sister. He wanted nothing more than to take Caroline's hand but he knew that she may seem suspicious since he never spoke with her outside the normal pleasantries.

Instead, he held out his hand to Rebekah and smiled at his sister. Rebekah's smile grew bright and she happily took his hand while Caroline took another villager's. The siblings danced happily around the fire and once the dance demanded a switch of partners, Klaus happily took Caroline's hand. They spun and danced. Klaus basked in her laughter as he spun her around; her hair flaring around in the night. When the dance came to an end, Klaus took her hand and kissed her knuckles. Before Caroline could question him, Klaus weaved his way through the crowd.

*

The village returned to normal the next morning. Villagers returned to their chores. Women cooked and reared the children. Men built the huts, repaired shelter and hunted for food. Klaus wandered through the huts looking for his sister. He finished his chores as quickly as possible and left both Elijah and Finn behind with questioning looks upon his face. It was still warm, for the fall chill had not set in, and Klaus knew that some of the young ladies would be washing their laundry at the river.

Once he reached the section of the stream that didn't reach the woods yet but ran down towards the Falls, he saw a line of several of the village girls washing their families clothes. Laugher could be heard coming from the river. He eyed the girls, seeing his sister speaking with Caroline. Caroline laughed and Klaus latched onto the sound. He reveled in it for a moment before he made his way towards them.

“Rebekah.” He called out and his sister looked up. She smiled at him the way his sister always did. She had her moments when Klaus wanted to rip his hair out but she could be sweet. He walked up to them and looked down at the girl. “Good morning Caroline. Thank you for our dance last night.”

“Of course. It was enjoyable. Although I am surprised, you normally are one who does not dance unless forced.” Her tone was playful but Klaus could see the curiosity behind her blue eyes. It was true. Normally, he would enjoy the ale, socialize with those he liked and would run off with Tatia once she had danced with Elijah. Yet, last night he felt the need to dance with her.

“That is true but I felt rather compelled to do so.” He flashed a dimpled smile at her. “You have a lovely voice.” Caroline flushed slightly but continued to gaze at Klaus with questioning eyes. “Rebekah, a word?” Rebekah, whose eyes were darting between her brother and her friend, nodded and began to follow her brother into the woods.

“Nik, what is it? You know how father feels about us interrupting our chores.” Rebekah hissed. Mikael grew angry whenever he learned that one of his children was not being what he considered productive. In truth, it was usually Kol, who was easily distracted by magic, that ignored his responsibilities but Rebekah knew the consequences. Mikael would never strike Rebekah, for she was his favorite, but if he learned that Niklaus was the one distracting her, the punishment would be severe.

“I will only be a moment and father will never need to know.” Rebekah nodded and looked at him. “I wanted to ask you about Caroline.”

“Caroline?”

“Yes.”

“What of her?” Rebekah was surprised. Klaus had never taken an interest in her before. Her and Caroline had been friends for years, one of the few people her father allowed her to associate with, and no matter how many times Rebekah mentioned her, Klaus never seemed to be listening. Yet, looking at him now she could see the vulnerability written upon his face. “Oh no. You cannot fancy Caroline! She is the closest person outside of my family that I have!”

“I have no intentions of hurting her-”

“What happens when Tatia bats her eyes at you again? What happens when she tires of Elijah and comes to you? She will because she is a fickle little girl who cannot keep her legs closed.” Rebekah hissed. Her hatred of Tatia was never concealed.  She hated the tension Tatia caused between her brothers and was of the opinion that the only way for that tension to end would be for Tatia to be gone.

“I'm done with Tatia.” Rebekah cocked her head, challenging him to prove her wrong. “A few months ago, I saw her with Elijah. They were intimate.” It felt strange to be discussing such things with his baby sister but she knew what went on between a man and woman; despite the fact that she was innocent. “I had known, both Elijah and I did but it was different seeing it with my own eyes.”

“Oh Nik. That's why you've been so sad.” Rebekah reached out and touched his arm. “Tatia never deserved you. Neither of you.” She watched her brother. She had known the pain both Klaus and Elijah felt watching the girl he had feelings for being with the other. She wanted them both to be happy and there was a change that Klaus was done with Tatia for good. “No. Caroline is not spoken for. Some have tried but she is stubborn. She makes them work for it and if she finds them disappointing, she walks away. She won't make it easy on you.”

“I wouldn't ask for anything less.”

“Every morning when I gather the water for the day she joins me. Since we need more pales than her family, she helps bring them back to our hut before heading to hers.” Klaus couldn't help smile at that. From the little he knew of Caroline, that seemed to be something would do. “She is a helper Nik. She sees a problem and she will do anything to make it right. Do not make me regret this.”

*

Just as Rebekah had indicated, Caroline was waiting for her by the river to collect the day's supply of water. She appeared completely unsurprised to see Klaus accompanying his sister.  He had thought that he would be greeted with a wide smile and shocked eyes. While Caroline did smile coyly at him, he was also greeted with a cocked eyebrow. She was expecting him and he silently cursed Rebekah. At least she had the decency to look ashamed.

“Rebekah, Niklaus. Good morning.” Caroline smiled at them before turning her gaze onto Klaus. “When Rebekah told me that you would be joining us this morning, I have to admit that I was rather curious. You've never collected water before, why the sudden change?” She was challenging him and Klaus couldn't help but toss her a dimpled smile.

“Oh, look Ayana. I need a few herbs. Excuse me.” Rebekah all but ran from them. This caused Caroline to laugh loudly. Her head was thrown back and Klaus couldn't help but enjoy the sound of her laughter. It was musical and joyful. He had thought that the sound of her voice signing a tune the other night was the most beautiful sound but her laugh was far more hypnotic. Klaus wanted nothing more than to be the reason why she laughed.

“She is not very subtle, is she?” Caroline asked.

“Rebekah and subtlety are not two things that mix well.” Klaus teased and Caroline nodded.

“Well, since you requested to speak with me this morning, the least you could do is help me gather water for your family.” Caroline smiled and bent to pick up one of the wooden pales before turning her back on him. Klaus bent down and grabbed two before running after her. He was surprised at how quickly she walked to the point that he was all but running to catch up to her.

“Slow down love or I would think you're purposely running from me.” With that Caroline stopped abruptly and Klaus nearly crashed into her. Caroline turned and looked at Klaus. Her blue eyes darted across his face as though she was searching for something.

“Rebekah told me that you have taken an interest in me. I do not understand the sudden change. You have known me for years, since we were children. Rebekah and I played in the flowers while you and Kol pretended to sword fight. Even then you just accepted me as your sister's friend. You were never mean but you never spoke much to me either. So, why now?”

“I fancy you.” Caroline sucked in a breath, not expecting him to be so blunt. There was a hint of vulnerability there that made her heart clench.  “Is that so hard to believe?”

“Yes!”

“Why?” Klaus paused. “You're beautiful. You're strong. You're full of light. I enjoy you.” Caroline could not help but be flattered by his pretty words but she hardened herself. She was not one who would fall for the first man who paid her compliments. If that was the case, she would be married with children chasing her skirt already and probably with a brute of a husband. She saw the misery her mother's marriage was made of and wanted nothing of the sort. While her father was not violent, there was no love between them. Perhaps she was a dreamer for the times but Caroline made a vow that she would never marry a man who was unworthy of her affections.

“Years of silence, of nothing and suddenly you expect me to believe that you fancy me? Emotions and feelings take time to grow. You never noticed me before.” Caroline replied. “And what of Tatia?” That caught Klaus off guard. While he was not going to hide the fact that he had a history with Tatia, he did not expect her to be aware of it already. “That is the worst kept secret in the entire village. Everyone knew that you were courting her but everyone knew that Elijah was as well; and the fact that there is a rift between you and Elijah.” Klaus's eyes closed and Caroline reached out, taking his hand in comfort. “It has been obvious that you have been sad. Rebekah told me yesterday that you ended things and took a step back; allowing Elijah to continue his relationship with her.”

There were two items flashing through Klaus's mind. The first was that Rebekah did not explain that Klaus caught Elijah and Tatia in a compromising position but rather just stated he stepped away. The second was the wave of sympathy Caroline seemed to have for him. Her compassion for him caught him by surprise. Outside of Rebekah, never had someone shown him such compassion, not even his own mother who kept him at arms length for fear of Mikael's temper.

“You're right. I did walk away.” Caroline said nothing but allowed him to continue. “I walked away months ago. I will not lie to you and say that I never had feelings for her but I had months to mourn them and let go. While I am still angry with Elijah, it has more to do with the fact that he betrayed me and not Tatia herself.”  Caroline nodded, understanding his words and accepting them.

“Why me?”

“I saw you with vervain in your hair and you looked happy. I never saw anything like it.” Klaus paused, taking a deep breath. “And then you began to sing. I will never lie to you and say that I have been nursing a childhood infatuation. You are right when saying that I always acknowledged you as my sister's friend. Another girl in the village but hearing you sing; it was as though I was seeing you with fresh eyes.” He took a step forward, standing tall over her. Tatia always looked down bashfully when he stood too close but Caroline stood her ground; looking into his eyes with equal force. “Take a chance. Get to know me. I dare you.”

“I guess it is a good thing that I can never refuse a challenge.” Her voice was breathless and her blue eyes flickered across his face. She knew that he was not lying to her but she still would hold him at arm's length for the time being. Much like Klaus himself, Caroline never thought of him as a romantic partner. She could admit that he was handsome but so were his brothers. She knew him well enough through Rebekah to know he was not cruel like his father; in fact she felt sympathy for him in that regard. Despite all of that, she would at the very least, give him the chance. “Once our chores are done for the day, you may walk with me around the edge of the trees.”

This caused the smile on Klaus's lips to grow wide with joy. “I promise that you will not come to regret this.” Caroline laughed, seeing Rebekah approaching out of the corner of her eye. He reached down and took her hand. She marveled at the feel of his lips on her knuckles. It was improper and if the wrong person saw them, she would be married by the end of the week because her parents would insist upon it. He smirked at her again and turned, heading off in the other direction.

“I think I already am.”

*

When she was nervous, Caroline had a tendency to bite at her nails. She rushed through her chores, not even snapping at the girls who would rather giggle over the men of the village than finish the tasks assigned to them. Instead she just let them waste their time and completed the tasks herself. The work took the fear of what would transpire later in the day off of her mind. However, once the chores were completed and instead of walking back to her family's hut for sometime spent either alone or with her mother, Caroline made her way towards the base of the woods.

She did not have to wait long before she heard footsteps approaching her. She turned to see Klaus approaching her with a wide smile on his lips. Caroline could not help but smile back at him. Once he reached her, he held out his hand and she linked their fingers together. She caught sight of his dimples but before she could comment, Klaus pulled her into the woods. His pace was quick and Caroline was practically running in order to keep up with him. They weaved through the trees but stayed away from the deepness of the forest. She could see the darkness out of the corner of her eye but the sunlight still graced her skin. Overtime, Caroline knew that darkness would encroach upon the trees but for now, she was perfectly happy to run in the sun.

“Where are we going?” Caroline asked.

“I want to show you something. I asked my brother to help me. I hope you don't mind. He won't stay for long.” Klaus added and Caroline could tell that they were getting close to the falls. She had only been to the falls a few times because it was dangerous during certain times of the month. The wolves lived on the side and crossing into their territory was an unwise decision.

“Elijah?”

“No, Kol.” That surprised Caroline. From everything Rebekah has told Caroline about her brothers, Kol was the biggest troublemaker. He was also the only child to inherit his mother's magic. He was a natural at it and liked to express it as much as possible. However, instead of using his gifts to heal those like his mother, he used his powers to pull pranks upon each of his siblings. It infuriated Rebekah to no end.

Before she could inquire more, Klaus pulled her into a clearing that she had never seen before. It was nothing more than a field but it was filled with rows and rows of vervain. Caroline had not known that it grew here for she thought that it only grew at the base of the giant white oak. She couldn't help but reach out and touch the beautiful flowers. Klaus reached down and picked one, placing it in her hair.

“How?” Klaus turned and pointed. Leaning up against a tree on the far side of the clearing was Kol and beside him was the youngest Mikaelson, Henrik. Kol whispered something to the young boy and Henrik's laugh echoed through the flowers. Kol waived before pulling his younger brother away.

“I asked Kol to make the vervain bloom here because I know it is your favorite flower. I thought you would enjoy seeing thousands of them bloom at once.” Klaus smiled at her and he saw Caroline bend down to pick another flower. She smelled them, taking in their scent. “You've never looked more beautiful.”

“Flattery and cheap tricks will not win my affections.” Caroline snapped but he could tell that she enjoyed seeing the flowers. It had taken some convincing but Kol agreed to do the little bit of magic in exchange for Klaus's taking over one of Kol's chores-grooming the horses. While it meant Klaus would spend the better part of the week with the horses, it was worth it to see Caroline fighting her enjoyment. “I am not someone who can be easily bought. If that is what you think of me, I shall find my own way back to the village.”

“Come on, take a chance Caroline. Talk to me.” Klaus smirked as he sat down on the ground in the middle of a million vines of vervain. “Come on, get to know me. I dare you.” He had her there and he could see it. Caroline was fearless and never one to turn down a challenge. Despite herself, Caroline found herself sitting down on the ground facing him.

“Fine. What do you want to talk about?”

“I want to talk about you.” Caroline shook her head in amused annoyance. “Your hopes. Your dreams.” She laughed again. “Everything you want in life.”

“Just to be clear, I am too smart to be seduced by you.”

“Well, that is why I like you.”

*

Ancient Mystic Falls

Autumn 1000

The weeks pressed forward and the leaves began to change, falling to the ground. The village prepared for the upcoming winter by gathering what they could for food storage and prepped their cattle. Huts were reinforced and logs gathered for fire; lengths were taken to keep them dry. Chores increased for the young as expected. Despite the work, Klaus still met Caroline every day at the edge of the woods. They did not venture far into the woods as they had the first time but they still strolled until the sun was completely set.

The village began to notice the time the two spent together. Ayana smiled at the two of them, as though she was seeing a long awaited event to take place before her. Soon it was known that Klaus was courting Caroline, even if the young woman in question refused to acknowledge it. Even though the two spent copious amounts of time in each other's company, Caroline found it hard to allow herself to be open about her intentions with Klaus.

Klaus could not be considered a patient man but found that with Caroline, he was willing to wait as long as possible for her to realize that he was serious in his attraction to her. He could see the walls that Caroline put up around her emotions and it was a slow process to chip away the stone that enclosed her heart. He could see that his attempts were not for nothing. Her smile was brighter when she saw him, her laughter louder. Her hand reached for his, linking their fingers together. It gave him hope...even if it drove him to distraction. Despite all of his patience, Klaus found that there were times that he wanted nothing more than to make Caroline see what was directly in front of her.

“Why are you so stubborn?” Klaus huffed. It was not a good day. Due to Kol's incompetence, Klaus had to endure another lecture from their father. He should be pleased that it was only harsh words and nothing violent but it made him late in seeing Caroline. When he arrived, it was clear that Caroline was keeping him at arm's length for the day. There were times when she was open with him and readily enjoyed herself and then other times that she was cold and distant. “Why can you not simply recognize that my feelings for you are real!?”

“Recognize your feelings!?” Caroline hissed. Klaus never pushed her. Never once asked for more than she was willing to give. Yet, today she could tell that his mood was foul and hers had not been much better. “You cannot just come into my life and expect me to believe that your intentions are true. Men lie and they make promises and then they leave you to cry well into the night. I refuse to let that become my life.”

“I have spent weeks trying to convince you that I want you. That my feelings for you are real.” There was vulnerability written on his face. She could tell that her reluctance was hurting him and that made her feel guilty. She did not want to hurt him but the possibility of falling for him scared her more than she expected.

“What do you want from me Nik?” It hurt him to hear such heartbreak in her voice and he loathed that he was the one who put it there. He wanted her to see that he was not playing some game with her. He knew that she was still suspicious of Tatia and thus made a special effort to not even glance in Tatia's direction when they were in the same part of the village as her. “Just tell me what you want.”

“I want your confession.”

“My confession? I have done nothing. Confession about what?”

“Me.” Caroline startled slightly. “As soon as we are done here, I will leave you to your thoughts. I will walk away and leave you in peace if that is your choice. You will never again have to look me in the eye and cover our connection with the cold hostility you sometimes process. You will never have to break down your walls for me only to rebuild them before we meet again. You will never have to face the part of you that cares for me. If you want nothing of me, I will let you go. You will be free. I just want you to be honest with me.”

Caroline could see the pain that this gave him. She could see the disappointment and hurt that letting her go caused him; but he was willing to do it if that is what she wanted.  Caroline enjoyed Klaus even when she pulled away from him. She fought the feelings that were developing inside of her because she didn't want to become the one thing she feared the most; and Klaus had that power to do that to her.

“I just turned seventeen. I know that I am of marrying age and it is something that I have been thinking about for years. You are not the first who has tried for my hand but I refused them all. I know that if I do not choose soon, my father will do it for me.” Caroline closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I want to build a life for myself. A home with a husband and children. Up until a few weeks ago, none of those things included you. The fact that you have so suddenly made those plans so real terrifies me.”

“I see.” She saw the hope fill his eyes and he stepped forward. Part of Caroline wanted to back away but she held her ground. Her head tilted upward and looked into his eyes. He was close enough to touch but neither reached out.

“No, you do not.” Caroline hissed. “Yes, I cover our connection with cold hostility because yes I hate myself for allowing you to have such power over me. I hate that the future I dreamed about is so close that I could touch it. I hate it because it is only a dream and never reality. I hate the feelings that I have because I know that one day, it will break me and I will have no escape. I will be trapped, only to be broken over and over again. I hate that it will be you to be the one who breaks me.”

“Where is this coming from Caroline? What have I done to make you feel this way?”

“Nothing. You've done nothing but be everything that a girl could want in a man who courts her.” Caroline whispered. “Sometimes I lose myself in the idea of what could be between us. Other times reality is played out before me.” She looked down at her hands. “I am terrified of becoming my mother.” Klaus's brows creased at that, not understanding her words and he said as much. “My mother has loved my father since they were children. It was no surprise when he requested her hand and when she fell pregnant with me, she was ecstatic. That is until she learned that my father was unfaithful to her.”

“It is common for men to find pleasure outside the home.” The moment the words left his lips, Klaus realized that it was the wrong thing to say and attempted to backtrack. “But that does not make the pain the woman feels any less real.”

“My mother still cares for him but knows that he never really loved her in return. It has made her bitter. My father loved another. Someone he could not have and married my mother because it was expected. The truth tore my mother to shreds and is only a shadow of the woman she used to be. She lives with the knowledge everyday that she was not his first choice. I want to be someone's choice and not what is expected.”

“Is it a woman in the village?”

“No. It was before my parents settled here and before I was born.” Caroline paused, wondering if this would change everything. “And it wasn't a woman at all.” That confession caused shock to be written all over his face. “It was why they fled England. My father and his lover were found out. While he was never in love with my mother, he cared for her and for his child. His lover was executed and they ran.”

“I see.”

“And now you hate me.” Caroline turned to walk away. It was always a fear of hers that someone would discover her father's secret and turn away from her- she never thought she would be the one disclosing it. She could not bear to see the scorn in Klaus's eyes and wanted to run as fast as she could from him.

“No!” He grabbed her hand. “I could never hate you Caroline. I cannot hate you for something that you did not commit.” He took both of her hands into his and kissed her knuckles. That was the only intimacy that she allowed and Klaus knew that it was something he could not push. She was an innocent and he wanted to keep her as such until he was able to lay claim to her. “Is that your confession then? Is that what you feel for me? Fear that I will break your heart?”

“If you promise that you will never look at another as you look at me right now, I will be honest with you. I will be honest with you about what I feel for you.”

“Caroline, I will never be able to see such beauty in another for it does not exist elsewhere for me. I know that other men say pretty things and never mean a word of them but you are the exception to every rule I have been taught. If I had you, then there is no need for me to find pleasure elsewhere. I promise.” Her eyes traced over him, her hands still linked with his. She moved closer and Klaus remained still. She was so close that Klaus's forehead almost rested against hers. She had never been that close before and he was afraid that his restraint would break and he would devour her lips like the many times he had imagined.

“Good.” With that, Caroline leaned up and pressed her lips to his gently. It wasn't deep or passionate but it was enough. It was enough for him to understand what Caroline was feeling. He could sense her fear and vulnerability, almost as though it was his own. He also could feel her desire and everything that she wanted in life. Klaus could feel that she could possibly want it with him.

*

Like every month before it, the full moon came. The villagers flocked to the caves with fur from the animals they killed and food for the night. Most gathered before the sun set and prepared small fires. The only thing that differed this month was the fact that Klaus escorted Caroline to the caves and settled near her family. Neither parents of the couple said a word, for the attachment was obvious, but they kept a close eye. Elizabeth and Bill looked on with smiles while Esther watched them with curiosity and fear. Mikael ignored them all together.

Caroline leaned against the stone wall with Klaus on one side and Rebekah on the other. Henrik found his way to them and settled beside Klaus. The three of them amused the young boy for a while until the sky grew dark and the only light was the fire lit before them. Henrik fell asleep easily and the rest settled into conversation. In the darkness, Klaus easily took Caroline's hand knowing that beside Rebekah, no one would notice. He would hold it until her mother called her away in order to sleep for the night. Despite their courtship, it would be improper for Klaus to hold her as she slept.

“She is staring again.” Caroline whispered and Klaus looked up to see Tatia's eyes on them. She was a ways down but the flicker of the flame made out her person easily. Caroline had been complaining that Tatia had been watching her. The other girl never approached Caroline or sought her out but during their chores she could feel Tatia watching her. She never appeared angry or upset, but rather curious about her. “I think she hates me.”

Klaus said that if it continued or if she bothered Caroline, he would request Elijah to speak with Tatia. Caroline declined, not wanting a row to break out between the brothers over her. In the weeks that Caroline and Klaus began their courtship, the relationship between the Klaus and Elijah eased slightly. While they were not exactly on speaking terms, they no longer avoided one another. They exchanged pleasantries, completed what was expected of them and moved on. It was progress and that pleased Caroline.

She refused to be the reason they endured a set back.

“She is harmless and her emotions towards you are irrelevant.” It was true. There really was not much Tatia could do. The village knew of Tatia's reputation and anything she would say would hardly be believed; with the exception of Elijah and any other man that was infatuated with her. There was no hint of violence but if it came to that, Caroline knew that she was stronger than the other girl.  “She is just angry that I chose you and not her.”

Caroline smiled and Klaus leaned in to kiss the top of her head. A cough echoed and they saw Caroline's mother watching them. Her eyes were hard but there was a gentle tone behind her eyes; as though she couldn't be too angry with them. The village knew by now what the end result of their courtship would be. The question was becoming when the event would transpire. While they have not been courting long, there were those who wondered why Klaus had at least not approached Bill for his permission to marry Caroline yet.  

The slow progress of their courtship was something Tatia had taken notice of. Caroline could always feel the girl's eyes on her and she could not help but feel self conscious. When she was younger, Caroline always compared herself to the other girls in the village, including Tatia. Despite the fact that Tatia was a couple years older, Caroline desired to be like her in a way. Tatia was beautiful, vivacious and had a laugh that pierced the air around her; however she was also catty, cruel and did anything that drew attention to herself. She married very young, gave birth to her daughter only months after her wedding and was widowed within the year. Caroline wanted that attention and always envied Tatia for it, especially since she did nothing to earn it. Now that she had Klaus, Caroline could not help but feel as though Tatia would do anything to take Klaus away from her.

Caroline was about to reply when her mother called for her. Klaus smiled at her and Caroline moved towards the section that her mother and father were occupying. The cave was completely dark, with the exception of the flames from the fires and most have lain down to sleep. She laid upon the soft fur located beside her mother and closed her eyes. When the morning came, Caroline made her way from the cave, only able to give Klaus a smile. Esther ushered her children out of the cave quickly, sending a curious glance as she did.

“He is going to have to speak with your father soon.” Elizabeth said, pulling Caroline from her musings. They walked across the lane that went back to their hut. Caroline looked at her mother in confusion, which only caused Elizabeth to smile. “Klaus. His intentions are clear and the village wonders why he has not made an offer yet. Your father will accept of course. He likes Klaus and thinks the two of you would do well together.”

“What?” Caroline blinked, her mother's assertion taking her off guard.

“Marriage. That is of course what Klaus is after?” Elizabeth looked at her daughter closely, eyeing her as though she could see any misdeed. However, Caroline just looked at her mother confused. While Caroline knew the concept of what happened between a man and a woman, she was still innocent. “Klaus has not done anything improper, has he?”

“What?! No. Mother of course not.” She shook her head and she could see Elizabeth relax. “I just was not expecting you to bring it up.” Ever since their argument in the woods, Caroline could not help but allow herself to dream about becoming Klaus's wife. It still frightened her but she could tell the difference in his mannerisms with her compared to the ones her father showed her mother. “Do you think he will speak with father soon?”

“I spoke with Esther and- Oh!” Elizabeth stumbled slightly and dropped the basket full of blankets she had been carrying. Caroline put down her own basket and began helping her mother gather the blankets that spilled out onto the ground. Soon another set of hands joined in and Caroline looked up to see Tatia looking at her curiously again. Tatia handed a few blankets to Caroline and gave her a small smile; a smile that Caroline could not tell was genuine or not.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.” Tatia replied and stood. She held out her hand and a small girl, no older than three, grabbed it quickly. “Come my sweet, perhaps if you are a good girl, grandmother will make that bread you like.” Tatia took her daughter and left Caroline standing there, watching her. Tatia never really paid Caroline any attention before nor would she stop to help someone else. She wanted to believe it was an act of kindness but Caroline was intelligent enough to know otherwise.

*

The weather was growing colder. The first snow had yet to fall but the ice could be felt in the air. When Caroline breathed, it felt as though ice invaded her chest. She wrapped the furs around her tighter, waiting for Klaus. He was late and it was beginning to worry her. There were only a few times that Caroline beat him to the forest and it was due to him being held up by one of his siblings. When she was the first to arrive at their meeting place, Klaus was soon to follow.

Caroline had now been waiting for an hour and Klaus was nowhere to be seen. At first she had been angry, thinking that Klaus had forgotten about her. While she tried to be more open with Klaus, there were times that she still expected the worst out of him. She knew that he had done nothing to deserve it but deep down she still feared that he would betray her the way her father betrayed her mother. He was a man and it was expected; she just hoped that they would be the exception. When time pushed forward and he still did not come, Caroline began to worry that something had happened to him. When she heard the leaves behind her crinkle, she felt herself relax.

“Niklaus, I should be very cross-” Caroline paused, she saw that her intruder was not Klaus, but instead his brother. He looked haggard and stressed. He was not dressed in appropriate clothing for the weather and she could see the concern in his eyes. “Elijah? What are you doing here? Where is Nik?”

“He sent me. He is indisposed. He sent me to let you know that he is unable to meet you. Niklaus did not want you waiting in the cold.” Elijah could not meet her eye and Caroline narrowed hers. Elijah and Klaus relationship was progressing but not to the point where Klaus would send Elijah's to deliver a message for him. That was normally done by Henrik or Rebekah. As she looked Elijah over, Caroline noticed that there was a tiny fleck of blood on his knuckle. She reached out and grabbed it.

“What happened? Where is he?”

“He is alright. Rebekah is tending to him.”

“What happened?”

“Caroline-”

“Tell me or I will find him myself.”

“He mentioned you were stubborn.” Caroline only poured her gaze into him, letting him know that she was serious. “He and our father got into a rather harsh discussion. Our father is not one for mincing his words, especially when it comes to Niklaus.”

“He beat him.” Caroline stated in a matter of fact tone with a touch of venom mixed in as well, taking Elijah by surprise. Klaus had disclosed the nature of his relationship with his father and the knowledge that Mikael could become violent towards his son was unsettling for Caroline. “Where is he?”

“At our hut.” With that, Caroline moved past Elijah quickly. He grabbed her arm, spinning her to face him again. “It would be unwise for you to go there now. Father left in a storm but he will be back at some point before dark.”

“I do not belong to your father and even if I did, I would still go. You cannot stop me.” The conviction in her words had Elijah really considering her. He never thought much of Caroline in any sense before. He liked her well enough and knew Rebekah was fond of her. He was taken by surprise when he learned that Klaus had started courting her and even more so when he was clearly serious about pursuing her. Selfishly he was pleased because it meant that Klaus was less likely to return to Tatia but he also wanted his brother to find happiness.

“You love him.” The words caught Caroline by surprise. Did she love Klaus? In truth she did not know. She knew that her emotions ran deep but they had only been on this course for a short period of time. Love came after marriage for those who were lucky. If Klaus asked for her hand, she would give it but her heart was another matter. Unless she had already given it without her realizing it? “I'll walk you but it is best if you leave before father returns.”

Caroline nodded and the two set off at a brisk pace. They were silent and Caroline found that they could not reach the hut quick enough. When they arrived, Elijah opened the wooden door and ushered Caroline inside. She had never been in their family hut before, not even with Rebekah, only seeing the outside of it. It was bigger than hers and was made up of about four rooms. The room Elijah ushered her into was a common room. There was a long table in the center and a fireplace built into the far wall. Esther was stirring something in the cast iron pot that was placed above the fire. When Esther saw that Caroline had accompanied Elijah back, she just motioned her head towards one of the doors on the other end.

“Caroline.” She turned to see Esther looking at her. “You should not be here. I would hate for my son to take another beating because of you.” Caroline paused and just glared back at her. She had always got the feeling that Esther did not particularly like her. However, her mother and Esther have spoken about the possibility and Elizabeth never once mentioned that Esther seemed opposed to it.

“What?” Before Esther could elaborate, Caroline heard Klaus hissed and she took off towards the sound. The sound came from a room in the very back of the hut. The room had several small beds made of hay and it was clear that this was the room for the older boys. Klaus was lying on his stomach, shirtless and Rebekah was dabbing what appeared to be wounds on his back with a cloth. “Nik?”

Both Klaus and Rebekah looked up to see Caroline's eyes filled with tears. She edged closer and saw that there were deep gashes on his back that appeared to be from a whipping. Not only that but there were old scars beneath the fresh ones, telling Caroline that this was not the first time Mikael has whipped him. She brought her fingers to the base of her eye and wiped away the tears. She held out her hand to Rebekah, asking for the cloth she was holding. Rebekah nodded, stood, gave the cloth to Caroline and left the room. Rebekah left the door open and sat down on a wooden stool just in sight of them both. Caroline knelt down on the floor and dipped the cloth into the bucket of water before attending to the wounds. Klaus hissed again, his fingers digging into the bed.

“Sorry.” Caroline whispered.

“It is alright.” Klaus replied. “You shouldn't have come.”

“Everyone is saying that.”

[365days365movies]

January 22, 2021: Drive (2011)

I’m late!

Both to posting this review, and to the party. In terms of posting this review, it’s still today! So that’s good; haven’t missed a day yet! As for being late to the party, well...let’s talk about cars in movies.

Well, OK, let’s talk about transportation in movies. One of the earliest known films shown publicly was 1896’s L’arrivee d’un train en gare be La Ciotat, a film by the Lumiere Brothers with a legendary (possibly mythical) reputation. The 50-second movie features a train pulling into a station, directly towards the screen. Legend says that the moviegoers jumped out of their seats, out of the way of the oncoming train, due to their unfamiliarity with the new technology of film. Is this true? Eh. Maybe, maybe not; sorry, Hugo.

But transportation and film are closely related, is my point. 1903’s The Great Train Robbery, 1926’s The General, 1955’s Rebel Without a Cause, 1964’s Goldfinger, up until 1968’s Bullitt, which gave us this.

The classic car chase showcased in Bullitt began a new feature of the action genre: the car chase. And, no, it’s obviously not the first car chase seen in a film shot, by a country MILE. But it is arguably the first of its type, with bold maneuvers memorably showcased throughout. After this, the car chase film would eventually become more predominant. These are films in which the action takes place predominantly through car stunts and competitive driving. And I’m looking at three this month: one that’s critically acclaimed, one that’s a franchise-launcher, and one that’s...complicated. BUT FIRST

I vividly remember when this movie came out. This movie made a huge splash, which is why I say that I’m late to the party on this one. It really was the John Wick of its day, although that would happen 3 years later. So, rather than navel-gaze, it’s about time I saw this movie! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

The Driver (Ryan Gosling) is taking up a job. He picks up a pair of bank robbers, while listening intently to the police scanners and keeping track of his police pursuers. After some masterful driving, he escapes into a crowd of sports fans in a crowded stadium garage, leaving the car and the men to fend for themselves. Roll opening credits!

After work, the Driver returns home...then goes right to work, as a film stunt driver working for Shannon (Bryan Cranston), his manager, and owner of an auto shop. He also gets close to his new neighbor, Irene (Carey Mulligan) and her son, Benicio. He helps them with groceries, then heads to work, this time at Shannon’s garage.

Meanwhile, Shannon’s meeting with a local mobster, Bernie Rose (Albert Brooks), asking him for $430,000. His partner, Nino (Ron Perlman), comes in, fully packing an attitude and bad prior relationship with Shannon.

We next see the Driver driving a race car, presumably another of his many driving-themed jobs. A deal for $300,000 is made between Shannon and Rose for an unspecified job. Afterwards, the Driver is working as a mechanic at Shannon’s shop, where worlds collide as Irene and her son go there to get her car fixed. Afterwards, they end up going out together on a fun day out, strengthening their bond. Another date is made for the weekend.

Rose and Nino go to the garage, where we find out that the job is for a race, with the Driver...driving. We also find out about Rose, Nino, and Shannon’s prior relationships; Rose was once a film producer, and Shannon provided the cars for the stunts, overcharging him. Did the same to Nino, a gangster. That is why Shannon now walks with a prominent limp. Because he’s never been very lucky, Shannon has a lot riding on this upcoming race.

The Driver and Irene, who’ve been getting much closer, go on a date that evening. However, this is short-lived, as her husband is returning from jail in a week. It puts the rest of the evening in a somber tone, and we cut to a week later. Irene’s husband, Standard Gabriel (Oscar Isaac) has returned home to a party, while a solitary Driver is repairing a car part in his apartment, alone. He leaves, and sees Irene outside, clearly unhappy at current events. This is followed by a tense interaction between Standard and the Driver.

This leads to two things. First, the Driver gets a drink at a bar, to get over the lost relationship. He meets a guy there who offers him a job, and bitterly turns him down. When he returns to the apartments, he sees the second result: Standard’s been beaten to a bloody pulp by someone. Alive, but clearly hurting, Benicio is with him. The Driver helps Benicio first, then eventually helps out Standard as well.

Not that Standard’s particularly appreciate of this, mind you. Turns out that Standard owes protection money to a group of gangsters, and has been “asked” to rob a local pawn shop. They’ve also threatened Irene and Benicio, which naturally is of concern to the Driver. Benicio is scared, having witnessed this, and was also given a bullet by one of the men, as a warning to Standard.

The Driver goes to see Irene at her job, where he intonates what’s happened to Standard, and shows concern. However, he’s lied to Irene about the cause for the assault, leaving her in the dark about the danger that they’re in. Still, she invites Driver to dinner, to which he accepts. It’s awkward, unsurprisingly.

Back to the Driver alone, who apparently steals a car? Not sure, but that’s the implication. For Benicio and Irene, the Driver offers to help Standard, and makes a deal with Cook (James Biberi), the gangster to whom he owes money. Together with his partner, Blanche (Christina Hendricks), the job commences.

They get to the shop, and Blanche and Standard go in...but only Blanche leaves. As Standard comes out, he gets shot multiple times, killing him. The Driver, of course, takes off like a shot, but is pursued by another car in a high speed chase. He turns around and drives BACKWARDS down a stretch of highway, eventually throwing the pursuer off the road.

With Blanche, he hides out in a motel, where the initial goal of $40,000 is revealed to be far, FAR exceeded. It’s also revealed that the pawnshop owner claims that Standard acted alone, and that no money was stolen. Which is the first major indicator that something is very, VERY wrong here. And it seems like Blanche is a part of a wider conspiracy here. And the Driver is NOT happy about it.

Cook indeed set them up, planning to rip off the Driver and Standard. Blanche knew about the second car, but was unaware of the plan to kill Standard, or the large amount of money to be retrieved. So she says, anyway. I personally find that pretty hard to believe. And so does the Driver, as someone attempts to enter the motel. And, uh…

HOOOOOOO THAT IS A GRAPHIC HEADSHOT! Yeah, Blanche is FUCKED, as two armed men forcefully enter the motel room, and BOTH get killed by the Driver. What in the hell has he gotten himself into?

Somewhat injured, the Driver takes the cash and goes to Shannon’s to get sewn up. Shannon definitely seems enamored with the prospect of so much cash in the wind, but still promises that he’ll try to find out more about Cook. But the Driver doesn’t appear too willing to wait for that, as he finds the gangster behind the scenes of a strip club, and just DESTROYS his hand with a HAMMER.

Threatening to pound Benicio’s bullet into his head with the hammer, he asks whose money that ACTUALLY was, as it couldn’t have been the pawn shop’s. Turns out that, YUP, it’s NINO’S MONEY! Shit. He has someone call Nino, as he holds Cook underfoot. On the phone, he offers back the money, free of charge. Nino, unaware that this is the Driver about to race for Rose, tells his men to find out who he is.

The Driver returns home, where he tells Irene exactly what was going on with Standard. He reveals the debt, as well as his offer to help, and offers the money to her and Benicio. She’s understandably not happy. During this conversation, one of Nino’s men shows up in the elevator, as Irene and the Driver are going into it. Realizing what’s about to happen, the Driver pushes Irene aside and gives her a VERY passionately framed kiss. But what happens next...is less romantic.

The Driver has just brutally murdered this man, and I MEAN brutally. The elevator doors close between a horrified Irene and a seemingly ashamed Driver, possibly symbolizing their likely-permanent separation. But there’s a problem: how did Nino’s guy know where the Driver was?

Shannon. Stupid, STUPID Shannon told Rose, who told Nino, who told his men, who went to the apartment to kill the Driver, and probably Irene and Benicio. He confirms this to the Driver, who is RIGHTFULLY PISSED OFF. Shannon’s apologetic, having not actually realized that Nino was involved.

Nino and his men are going to be looking for the Driver now, as well as for Shannon. He tells Shannon to get out of town, and never come back. But now, the Driver’s killed one of Nino’s men as a result. But it’s even worse than that.

Turns out that the robbery was planned by Nino, and the money belonged to an East Coast mobster storing $1,000,000 in the pawnshop, secretly. So now, THEY’LL come looking for the money as well. Because of this, the only known ties to the robbery, the Driver and Shannon, have to be eliminated. Well, Cook’s also a tie, to be fair. Which is why Rose kills him IMMEDIATELY, and brutally.

The Driver, fresh out of the elevator, goes to his stuntman trailer to get a disguise. Shannon, on the other hand, is trying to escape Rose and Nino’s wrath. But unfortunately, Rose gets to him first. He tries to convince Shannon to tell him the location of the Driver, to no avail. Unfortunately, that means that Shannon’s of no use, as Rose kills him, efficiently and quickly.

The Driver finds his body, and now he has another death to avenge. He takes the money, and goes to Nino’s place, where he uses the stuntman’s disguise, and follows Nino out. And now...it’s revenge time. 

OHHHHHHH FUCK! He runs off the road, leaves them for a minute, then purposefully T-bones them! The car’s launched onto a beach, where Nino stumbles away, having survived. But not for long, as the Driver goes to kill him in the water. Afterwards, he calls Rose, and invokes the story about...the Scorpion and the Frog.

...Oh. OHHHH! HOLY SHIT, I GET IT!!!!

That’s why he wears the jacket! He’s a Scorpion! All of this killing, despite his better interest at this point, is in his nature! HA! That’s awesome! If you aren’t aware of the fable of the Scorpion and the Frog, it goes a little something...like this:

A Scorpion needs to get across a river, so he goes to a Frog. Frog’s like, “FUCK NO I look like I wanna die today? You’ll sting me as we’re going across” And the Scorpion says, “Yeah, sure, I sting you and I drown myself in the process, real smart idea on my part. C’mon, I’m not gonna sting you, just give me a ride, yeah?” Frog’s like, “OK, bet. I’ll take you across.” So Scorpion hops on Frog’s back, and they go across the river, and RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE, Scorpion stings Frog. “WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY, GODDAMMIT,” says Frog, and Scorpion replies, “Sorry, man...it’s in my nature.” And then they both drown.

So, killing is actually the Driver’s nature. He’s always been the Scorpion, trying to hide from those abilities and tendencies. But once a threat comes along, the claws and telson come out, and it’s just STAB STAB CLAW CLAW STOMP STOMP SHOOT SHOOT from there. Cool!

Anyway, Rose agrees that things have gone too far, but also acknowledges that Irene is still aware of this situation, meaning she’s still at risk.  Subtly threatening her, Rose arranges a meeting place for the Driver to bring his sonMONEY! His sonny. I’ve been holding Finding Nemo jokes in this whole time, seriously. It’s Albert Brooks, he’s Marlin, the hell else am I gonna do?

They meet at a Chinese restaurant mentioned briefly early in the film. Rose offers the following deal: he takes the money, and Irene and Benicio are safe. The Driver, probably not, but at least she’d be safe. And he agrees...only her Rose to stab him as he gives him the money. The Driver stabs him back, killing him immediately. 

Not that the Driver’s doing much better. Stabbed in the stomach, he sits in the seat of the car, his seat. Still. He leaves the money in the parking lot...and he drives away. Irene knocks on his door, but there’s no answer. And the Driver...drives.

And that’s Drive. WOW. A lot to unpack with this one, but see you in the Epilogue for that!

[irwinkitten]

mistletoe and wine | m.c

notes: guess what, i’m writing winter themed fics and here is the first of four. i’ll be posting one each week. enjoy! warnings: none word count: 1.5k!

-

You were sure that Michael was debating on either asking if you’d been kidnapped or straight up running away from the almost manic like grin that was stretched across your lips. 

But you knew that he understood your excitement and even shared in it; if only to a lesser degree.

“Why are you grinning like that? Who did you kill at work? Was it you coworker that tried to get you into trouble?” At the query, he laughed at the offended look you gave him in return. Feeling his arm slipping around you, giving a gentle squeeze, you couldn’t keep the look on your face.

“I didn’t kill anyone. They were lucky that they left before I could actually commit a murder though.” Your dark mutter made him smile as he pressed a kiss to your temple.

“There’s my homicidal maniac.” The words had caught you off guard and unable to help yourself, you snorted out a laugh, making him grin. You knew you could count on him to make light of the situation, but your excitement was not one to be deterred.

“It’s going to be our first Christmas together in our home Mikey.” Instead of understanding like you’d hoped, you were met with a look of confusion and you held back your sigh.

And then it clicked, his eyes widening as a grin bloomed across his lips.

“Our first Christmas home! We’re decorating, right?” And you couldn’t help yourself, laughing as you pressed a kiss to his lips and pulled him to the direction of the living room where various boxes were sat waiting to be rummaged through.

“We are. Since We both brought our own decorations when we moved in, I figured we could go through them together.” And Michael chuckled as he opened up one of the boxes, holding up the cheesy tree ornament that your parents had given back to you, one that you’d made when you were a child.

“Shut up.” You grinned at him as you found the box filled to the brim with various garlands. Tugging one out of the box, you draped it across his shoulders and he scoffed, pulling it off only to throw it over you, gently tugging you closer to him with each end.

“Trapped.” He teased, a playful grin on his lips as you kissed his cheek before ducking from under the garland, ignoring his noise of protest.

“Decorations first, distractions later.” The dramatic sigh you received in return made you press your lips together in amusement before you put on the Christmas playlist, a mixture of old classics with various artists that you both liked that had done Christmas songs.

You’d not felt excited for Christmas until you’d realised this little bit of information. You’d been dreading the holidays before it had occurred to you that-despite it being far from your first christmas together-it was your first christmas together in your new home.

Both families had understood that you wanted to spend the holidays together in your new home and had decided to travel to the two of you instead of the two of you visiting various countries. Michael had most been excited about this. 

When Moose came to investigate the noises of the boxes being opened and the bags being rustled, Southy far too used to the sounds to follow after the other dog.

You’d almost danced in glee when you’d found the small reindeer outfit that you’d originally purchased for Southy years ago. The look that Michael gave you, made you stick your tongue out at him.

“Moose baby, come here.” You coaxed her and she was hesitant, occasionally sniffing at the various decorations that had fallen onto the floor. You noticed that Michael had his phone out as Moose reached you and you fussed her in turn.

She gave you kisses in return and you’d successfully gotten the outfit tacked around her. Surprisingly, she didn’t protest the outfit, instead turning to Michael who had laughed and made her way over to him, her tail going a mile a minute.

“You poor thing. You’ve got weeks of this Moose.” He murmured as he ruffled her fur. You grinned as he got the outfit off her.

“Leave the dogs out of it for now.” He teased finally as he took out the lump of christmas lights and you laughed.

“Get those untangled and I might.” You knew that he would, he had more patience than you did when it came to Christmas lights. 

Now and then, the two of you would sing along, occasionally throwing pieces of garland at Michael whenever he swapped lyrics out for a ruder version. Every time he did, you tried to keep up the offended looks, but even you couldn’t help but laugh at him, chiming in with your own versions which earned more decorations being thrown in return.

With the boxes organised, you both finally began decorating, taking the garland and wrapping it around the banister of the stairs. 

“Can you believe that we got this far?” You asked him as you ventured back into the living room, decorations in hand as you worked together to get them hung over the picture frames.

“Honestly, every bad Christmas we had to suffer, this makes up for all of them.” He murmured once you back to the boxes. 

You started to put up the tree when Michael disappeared. You weren’t entirely sure what he was up to, knowing that he did have the wreath for the door, but the mischievous smirk he’d given you as he disappeared out of the room told you there was definitely more that he was up to. 

Once the tree was up, the branches spread easily for the decorations to hang from, Michael  reappeared with a steaming mug and you hesitated before taking a sip, the mulled wine bringing you warmth you hadn’t realised you were missing.

“I figured that we could have a mug or two before we decorate the tree.” His voice had fallen quiet and you found yourself melting slightly, pressing a kiss to his lips, tasting the mulled wine on his own lips.

“Sounds like a plan, handsome. Plus we can sort out the tree decorations.” You hummed and his face lit up as he placed his mug down, racing up the stairs to your confusion and amusement.

It didn’t take long for him to return, a small box in his hands as he settled back next to you. Almost immediately, you’d tucked yourself into his side, grinning at his chuckle as he handed you the box, taking the mug from your hands.

“I was waiting for this because, well just open it and see.” He encouraged, his face alight with excitement. 

So of course you took your sweet time, earning a groan from him, however he didn’t rip the package open like you’d half expected him to. He sat patiently, watching your face.

So once the wrapping paper was discarded and you pried the lid off, you looked away from him to the item in question and felt your breath leave you.

Inside was an ornament, a small square with a key painted at the top, with yours and Michael’s names underneath, followed by the year, marking it your first Christmas together in this home. 

You couldn’t find the words to convey the joy at this one small thing, along with the love that you felt for him. It felt like you chest was fit to burst with the love you felt surge up for him and you jumped as you felt his finger brush your cheek.

That was when you realised that he was brushing away a tear.

“Mikey.” Your voice cracked and he shifted the both of you, his arms pulling you into him. And you held onto him tightly as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

“I wanted something to mark this Christmas. It’s special to us, together as our little family.”

You were lost for words at the small but thoughtful gift.

“How about we start decorating then?” I’ve got a few ways to show my appreciation of your gift but I’d rather have everything already done.” The tease was enough, but he smiled and kissed you softly, his fingers cupping your face.

“I love you.” He whispered gently and you could’ve sworn you melted into his touch.

“I love you too. C’mon.” You coaxed, and he followed your lead. Decorating the tree was not nearly as stressful as you’d anticipated, both of you aiming for a tree that was both tasteful but you couldn’t help but laugh at the small gaming figurines that were scattered throughout the tree.

Once the star was on top, the newest decoration in clear view of the room, you leaned back into Michael as he stood behind you, surveying the room.

Turning in his arms, you beamed up at him and he grinned. His hand moved from around you, prompting you to look up to see he was holding mistletoe above the two of you. 

You laughed and kissed him soundly, his hand discarding the mistletoe as he pulled you closer to him.

You were almost certain that this had become your favourite Christmas by far. 

-

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[sophieellisbextorarchives]

Sequins, songs, kids... dance! This is what saved SOPHIE ELLIS-BEXTOR’s sanity during lockdown

��I think I’m doing this for me.’ But for now, we need to head back to her house, where Sonny has appeared, and Mickey is delighted to see his mum. Plates are waiting to be spun, and as I let myself out, Jesse is putting on a show in the kitchen, with Sophie as the audience, sitting under the disco ball. ....and her wonderfully joyous discos filmed in the family kitchen helped lift the nation’s spirits too. She tells Hattie Crisell why Friday nights round at hers became so precious

ORIGINAL ARTICLE: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-8549299/Sequins-songs-kids-dance-saved-SOPHIE-ELLIS-BEXTORs-sanity-lockdown.html

Sophie Ellis-Bextor opens the door to me with a toddler in her arms – smiley 18-month-old Mickey – and her four-year-old son Jesse behind her, his hair a deep shade of copper. ‘You have the most beautiful hair I’ve ever seen,’ I tell him, genuinely quite dazzled, and he replies bashfully, ‘Well, I’ve just had it cut.’

Welcome to Sophie’s world: a large and glittering house in West London, packed to the rafters with kitsch, toys, cats and boys. I don’t know how many cats are around, but the boys number five: Mickey, Jesse, eight-year-old Ray, 11-year-old Kit and 16-year-old Sonny. Managing the lot are the singer, her husband Richard Jones (bass guitar player with The Feeling and the supergroup Loup GarouX), and a nanny, who joins them Monday to Friday during the working day. ‘I used to have a nanny who was with us all the time, and to be honest I felt like it was too much,’ says Sophie. ‘It’s fine if it’s my thing that I think about 24 hours a day, but I think it’s healthy for other people to have their own life away from it all. It’s five kids – it’s a lot.’

It certainly is, and it’s hard to imagine how demanding it must have been during lockdown, when the only one missing was the nanny. The public got a glimpse of this when Sophie performed a weekly series of ‘kitchen discos’, broadcasting them live via Instagram, her husband filming on his phone. They launched these shows during the bleakest part of the pandemic, and the good will that emanated from them was enormously cheering. She would appear in a sequined jumpsuit or rainbow-striped dress, a pair of platforms at the end of her mile-long legs, and would serenade the camera while children wandered casually in and out of view. Sometimes her teenage son would jump in to rescue the baby from a trailing wire, or one of the boys would need a cuddle, and their mother would pull them in close, keeping her other hand on the mic.

It was charming chaos. The music encompassed hits from Sophie’s back catalogue such as ‘Murder on the Dancefloor’ and ‘Take Me Home’ – or ‘Stay at Home’, as she rechristened it – but also crowd-pleasing covers and theatrical numbers from shows such as Grease. For the audience, it offered uplifting relief from the frightening reality of the time: climbing death rates and isolation. It was comfort music, I say. ‘Exactly,’ she agrees. ‘And disco’s always had that for me anyway. It’s so euphoric and joyful, and it’s complex. In disco you can have the most painful, heartbreaking scenarios, but they’re in among something that makes you want to put your hands in the air and sing along. I think music can allow you the space to feel joy and anxiety at once.’

I am delighted to find that one end of their large kitchen still looks very much as it did, with the disco ball and a half-deflated helium balloon in place over the sofa. She confirms that it’s more or less always like this, perhaps minus the tinsel curtain. Colour and fun are everywhere in the house, from the framed retro artworks filling every wall, to the pinball machine in pride of place. At the other end of the kitchen, a diner-style menu-board for the kids bears the words, ‘Be polite or no service.’

Leaving the children with the nanny, Sophie and I head out to chat on a bench in the park. She’s wearing an embroidered navy dress and a red fluffy cardigan, with red lipstick that has mostly worn off; at 41, she’s truly beautiful, with very pale green eyes. Despite what we’ve seen from her on Instagram, it hasn’t been an easy time. For one thing, there was the fall from her bike in June that left her in hospital with a gory head wound. When I mention it, though, she brushes it off with, ‘I cannot dine out on that any more.’ Then she adds, ‘I mean, I don’t recommend cycling off a towpath – it did hurt.’

‘I knew that this was something that was happening in millions of households. I do worry about all my parents – I say “all” because I’ve got step-parents as well – but I think really it was focused on John, because he’s so vulnerable. It’s such a weird, torturous thing isn’t it for human beings, if you say that hanging out with someone you love is the one thing that might actually endanger them? How can you wrap your head around that?’

She hasn’t been thrilled with the government messaging around the virus. ‘“Stay at home” is clear and concise and all ages get it. “Stay alert”? I hardly ever feel alert. I don’t feel alert now.

And we’ve all shown we’re good at following guidelines that make sense, but you can’t keep bending it for people. Look at the effect when the rules were made flexible.’ She seems to be referring obliquely to the Dominic Cummings/Barnard Castle debacle. ‘We all thought, “Oh well, if we could have been going off and having day trips all this time, why was I staying at home and not seeing my mum, who lives ten minutes away?” I found that really tough.’

The kitchen discos were as much for her and the family as they were for the audience. ‘It was Richard’s idea. One day we were making plans and doing stuff, and the next day it was like, boomph, everything shut down. Suddenly we were just home all the time, all work cancelled, all the festivals… I was supposed to be going to Australia, New Zealand, I had gigs all round Europe. And Richard was, like, “Well, why don’t we do a gig here, and it gives us something to do and a bit of fun?” I think we missed everybody.’

Performing during that time, even via Instagram, gave her a huge sense of connection, she says. ‘I honestly don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t had that, and I don’t know how it would have been for our family, because it became really precious.’ She’s now planning a Kitchen Disco Tour next May (there will also be an album, out this October), and hopes it will offer audiences a cathartic experience. ‘I want to provide a place where people can get lost in the moment. I want them to walk out of there and go, “Oh my goodness, I didn’t know how much I needed that.”’

It was no surprise to her boys to see her dressed up and performing; Mickey sleeps in the room where she keeps her fantastic stage wardrobe, and they’ve all been with her to festivals, gigs and recording studios. It was clear from their low-key presence in the kitchen discos (she left it up to them whether they wanted to be there or not) that they’re not fazed by it. ‘The older I’ve got, the more the me at home and the me on stage is the same person anyway,’ she says. Her first solo album came out almost 20 years ago; this one will be her eighth.

She’s also just celebrated her 15th wedding anniversary with Richard. Theirs was a whirlwind romance that stuck: ‘I found out I was having a baby after only about six weeks,’ she says with a smile. ‘We’d known each other for a while – he’d been in my band – but we’d literally just started dating and I hadn’t even really told anybody.’ Sonny was born two months prematurely, thus arriving only eight months after they’d got together.

And they’ve now got him almost to adulthood, I say. ‘Yeah, and he’s lovely; he’s his own person. You know, parenthood is so much more reactive than I ever thought,’ she says. ‘I thought it was all about what you put in. It’s not. I realised it the day I had him: I looked at this tiny baby and I thought, “Oh my goodness, you’re Sonny, and now I’ve got to help you show me who you are and what you need from me.”’

To raise five children while continually working is no mean feat, and she mentions that there were tense moments during lockdown. But she and Richard clearly make a good team. ‘I guess the thing that’s often not celebrated as much in long-term relationships – and I think this goes for family members, friends, all sorts of relationships where there’s love – is that we actually really like each other,’ she says. ‘I really like who Richard is, and I respect him and I like spending time with him.’

She took an extended break after Sonny came along, following a difficult birth. ‘But to be honest, the more babies I’ve had and the older I’ve got, the more confident I’ve become about what I can do around being pregnant and having kids,’ she says. ‘I’ve been better with the last couple at just keeping going with the work either side of it. I have a job where I can basically call the shots a bit. I’m very lucky with that and I totally exploit it. Also I like it if I do a big gig and I’m six months pregnant – I feel quite clever,’ she laughs.

The challenges of this complicated life have inspired Sophie’s new project – the podcast Spinning Plates, on which she chats to other working mums, including Caitlin Moran, Fearne Cotton, the mummy blogger Candice Brathwaite, and her own mother Janet. ‘I’ve got such a brilliant array of women, and honestly it feels like a privilege to sit there for an hour and ask them loads of nosy stuff,’ she says. ‘Obviously the springboard is the idea of the working mother, but actually what really unites us is we’re all women, and there are so many things about being a modern woman… It’s a rich pot of stuff to go through, really.’

She loved having the chance to interview her mum. ‘In my head she’s always been this real trailblazer and very confident. She never seemed to have any guilt with any of her work, and I’m glad, because it gave me a good role model of “It’s OK for me to be selfish enough to have my work and keep it separate if I want to, and do the things I want to do.” I don’t think I would have been confident enough if I hadn’t had a mum like that; I’ve struggled a bit to give myself permission sometimes even with that.’

Another chat, with Yvonne Telford, founder of the fashion brand Kemi Telford, made her realise that at times she’s too self-critical. ‘She said she hates it when she hears women say, “Oh, I’m such an idiot,” and I was, like, “God, I do that all the time.” Even with the podcast, when I first started writing to people I wanted as guests, I’d say, “Don’t worry, I know how it goes – you’re probably too busy to reply.” Then I was, like, what am I doing? I’m saying to them, “Ignore me!”’ She bursts out laughing. It sounds as though making the podcast might be rather empowering. ‘Yes,’ she agrees.

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

Hypothetical set-up for the seventh Ace Attorney game

Episode 1: Turnabout Legacy

Phoenix Wright and friends defend Esme Strange, an art school professor accused of murdering her school’s dean. Prosecutor is Winston Payne. The team is surprised when Franziska von Karma arrives, returning to the series since Trials and Tribulations. The big twist is that Franziska reveals Esme is her half-sister, going back to the first Ace Attorney game when Manfred mentioned he had a seven-year-old granddaughter. 

At the end of the episode, we are introduced to the game’s main antagonist, “The Mastermind”, a criminal who is setting up elaborate crime scenes. Someone is framed for the crime while the actual killer is also forced into committing the crime by the Mastermind. The Mastermind challenges the Wright Anything Agency to a game of wits. 

Episode 2: The Independent Turnabout 

Athena Cykes and Apollo Justice are challenged by the Mastermind to defend a struggling indie singer accused of murdering a popular singer. Simon Blackquill is initially the main prosecutor but he steps down for unknown reasons. In his place is the main prosecutor of this game, “Herr” Nolan Dirge (I’ll explain the pun at the end of this). Athena proves the defendant’s innocence but is dismayed when she realizes the Mastermind was just testing her.

As a subplot to this episode, Athena confronts Simon about why he stepped down and Simon reveals that the Mastermind has dirt on him. Athena asks if Simon knows who the Mastermind is and Simon says that he doesn’t know. 

After the case, Athena and Simon go on a road trip to figure out who the Mastermind is. To fill in for her in the next case, Ema Skye takes over as the main assistant. 

Episode 3: The Military Turnabout  

Apollo Justice is challenged by the Mastermind to defend a soldier recently discharged from the army who was accused of murdering a high-ranking general. “Herr” Nolan Dirge returns as the lead prosecutor and Apollo, based on Nolan’s behavior, starts thinking that Nolan is the Mastermind. Apollo tells Phoenix this and Phoenix tells him to get evidence first. Apollo proves the defendant’s innocence, impressing the Mastermind. 

As the subplot to this episode, Thalassa Gramarye returns after being invited to the Wright Anything Agency by Phoenix. At the end of the episode, Thalassa reveals to Apollo and Trucy that they are half-siblings. Apollo and Trucy are shocked by this while Phoenix reveals to Ema Skye that he knew this whole time. 

Episode 4: Betrayal of the Turnabout

This episode is seen from three different POVs. The first is Phoenix Wright, who is challenged by the Mastermind to defend a corrupt politician who was accused of murdering another politician trying to expose his corruption. The real killer is revealed to be “Herr” Nolan Dirge, who had ties to both politicians. 

The second is Athena, who is investigating the Mastermind’s previous crime scenes with Simon Blackquill in order to find out their identity. The investigation is successful but what they find shocks them to their core. 

The third is Apollo, who is bonding with Trucy and his mother. By chance, they pick up a lead on the Mastermind. The three launch an investigation on this lead and learn a shocking truth in the process. 

In Phoenix’s story, not only does Phoenix prove his client’s innocence, he successfully proves that Nolan Dirge is the true killer. Phoenix, remembering Apollo claiming that “Herr” Nolan Dirge is the Mastermind, thinks he was able to stop the Mastermind once and for all. That’s when Athena and Apollo return. In both Athena and Apollo’s independent investigations, they discovered that the Mastermind is none other than...Ema Skye. 

(side note: “Herr” Nolan Dirge, if we go with the spelling “Herr N. Dirge”, is an anagram of Red Herring)

Episode 5: Showdown of the Turnabout

Phoenix Wright, Apollo Justice, and Athena Cykes are still shocked by the revelation that Ema Skye is the Mastermind. Ema vehemently denies it but Athena and Apollo tell Phoenix that they are sure about what they found out. Phoenix is unsure of Ema’s innocence but says that she deserves a fair defense. With Nolan in custody, Apollo volunteers to be the prosecutor in the case, thus marking his first turn on the prosecution side. 

Phoenix leads the defense, with the intention of proving that Ema Skye couldn’t possibly be the Mastermind despite what Apollo and Athena found out. For the most part, Phoenix’s defense is successful, with Apollo and Athena beginning to doubt what they found. However, before Ema’s name could be cleared, the team learns that the Wright Anything Agency was set on fire! The team rushes out of the courthouse and heads to the firm. Apollo Justice rushes into the burning building to rescue Trucy Wright. He succeeds but is injured in the process. 

We then cut back to “Ema Skye” back in her holding cell. It’s revealed she’s responsible for the Wright Anything Agency fire. It’s also revealed that she isn’t the real Ema Skye. The real Ema Skye, from her POV, is seen being held in some undisclosed area. The big reveal: The Mastermind underwent surgery to look like Ema in order to get close to Phoenix and his team. 

For the second half of the episode, Apollo Justice has been admitted to the hospital. Franziska comes back into the story and says that she’s sure that Ema Skye is the Mastermind. Due to Apollo’s condition, she is taking over as lead prosecutor. The trial restarts, this time with Franziska as lead prosecutor. As before, Phoenix’s defense is successful to the point that “Ema Skye” is on the verge of acquittal. However, Phoenix starts having doubts about the trial. Something about this whole situation feels off for him. 

Deciding to attack from a different angle, Phoenix starts testing Ema Skye to see if she’s really who he’s talking to (referencing the Ini Miney and Dahlia Hawthorne cases). Despite some strong testimony that contains few contradictions, this is where “Ema Skye” accidentally says something that reveals she isn’t who she says she is. 

Pressing on this point, Phoenix and Franziska expose “Ema Skye” as a fake. Realizing she’s been found out, the Mastermind sets off a bomb in the courthouse and escapes in the chaos. While escaping the ruins of the courthouse, Phoenix finds a note from the Mastermind. Turns out, the Mastermind planned on getting caught in hopes of being cross-examined by Phoenix Wright. The Mastermind congratulates Phoenix for besting her in the cross-examination and as his reward, the Mastermind leaves a list of clues leading to the real Ema Skye’s location.

The final act of the episode is Phoenix, Franziska, Athena, and Apollo searching for the real Ema Skye, using the clues left behind by the Mastermind. They succeed in rescuing her but the Mastermind still manages to get away.

As the episode ends, Miles Edgeworth (making a cameo appearance in this game) promises to launch an investigation into capturing the Mastermind. Franziska leaves once again, saying that she’s opening her own firm. Ema, realizing the Wright Anything Agency has enough employees, decides to work with Franziska as her main assistant. With the actual agency still burned down, Phoenix, Apollo, Athena, and Trucy move into a temporary location, hopeful that they can rebuild what they lost. Lastly, the Mastermind is seen undergoing surgery again, hinting that the next time we see her, she’ll have a different face. 

Post-Credits

That’s the official ending. The post-credits scene features Phoenix Wright returning to the temporary office late at night. There, he sees Maya Fey, who somehow got into the building. When Phoenix asks why she’s here, Maya says that “they” need his help with a case. Phoenix asks who else needs his help, leading to Iris Hawthorne / Fey revealing herself, making her reappearance since being last seen in Trials and Tribulations. 

Ace Attorney 8 will presumably focus on what Maya and Iris need help with, as well as the return of the Mastermind as the main antagonist. 

(side note: yes, I pictured the Mastermind being the James Moriarty to Phoenix’s Sherlock Holmes. The Joker, the Riddler, and Saw’s Jigsaw were also influences)

[hellyeahomeland]

“Fucker Shot Me”: an HYH recap

A day after Haqqani turns himself over to the Americans, the Americans are turning him over to G’ulom. Saul and Haqqani pull up to Ghazi Stadium, where G’ulom has been holding the Taliban fighters.

G’ulom is standing outside, in a cape, like he’s Andre Leon Fucking Talley (to be clear, we stan). Haqqani says he’s ready and Saul gets out of the car to give another speech that G’ulom is definitely not listening to about Justice and Due Process and Integrity. G’ulom fulfills his end of the bargain, releasing the prisoners, who all make a beeline for Haqqani because, well, he’s the Emir! Saul warns G’ulom that if he doesn’t treat Haqqani with respect, “your world will explode.” So that’s coming. 

Saul goes back to Kabul station and Mike and Jenna have something to tell him.

Jenna: Remember how yesterday I had one job, which was to get Carrie on the plane to Germany? Saul: Yeah… Jenna: Well, I fucked that up. Mike: Carrie was photographed at the airport getting in a car with everyone’s favorite Russian hunk. Yevgeny Gromov! Can you believe it? Saul: Yes. I mean, no! How surprising. Mike: They could be halfway to Moscow by now. Saul: First, chill. Second, doubtful. Carrie is all about saving her friend Max. She’s probably somewhere in Pakistan. Mike: This is an outrage. Rules! I must follow them! I’m referring this to the FBI. Saul: Whatever. Send me a text or something when you find her ok byeeeeee

Carrie and Yevgeny are somewhere in Pakistan, it turns out. They’re listening to the radio, which is such a quaint thing for two lovers frenemies to do together. The radio report is about Haqqani turning himself in, and they get to talking about the CIA’s working theory that Carrie is a traitor who told her Russian handler—Yevgeny—about the president’s helicopter so that he could alert Haqqani who could fire an RPG! Phew. That’s a lot. They’re both like “yeah that didn’t happen” but also realize the, like, component of weirdness of the situation since they’re off on this road trip together and look extra double super suspicious now. “Ironic,” Carrie says while gazing out the window.

They pull up to a checkpoint. Yevgeny gets out of the car because he is In Charge. He approaches two guys, who are actually his homies, inquiring about where “the American” (Max) is. They have a line on him.

Carrie and Yevgeny’s next stop is a small Pakistani village. Again Yevgeny gets out of the car and instructs Carrie to stay. But we all know (and he should too by now!) that if you tell Carrie not to do something, she turns into a four-year-old child who instantly must do that thing. Plus her spidey senses are tingling. Maybe she recognizes some of these structures? She hops out of the car and ends up at a gravesite. Rows upon rows of graves with the year “2014” etched across the bottom. Uh oh. A few split-second flashbacks later and… yep, these are the graves of the people she dropped a bomb on in “The Drone Queen.”

Carrie: Quit fucking with me. Yevgeny: Heh? Carrie: Quit 👏 fucking 👏 with 👏 me  Yevgeny: I’m not fucking with you. Carrie: Coolio, so we just happened to end up at the village I decimated four years ago in the event that probably more than any other haunts my waking nights? Yevgeny: What do you think happens after you decimate a village with a bomb, Carrie? We come in, help them rebuild the mosque, and develop contacts. It’s not a coincidence we’re here. But I’m not fucking with you. Carrie: I’m changing the subject now. What did the imam say? Yevgeny: He knows where Max is. Come on.

Saul, resident hottie Scott Ryan, and Not Martha Boyd are gathered around a conference table in Kabul station, talking to Linus and his homies back at the White House. They’re all very concerned that Haqqani’s trial will be a sham, he’ll be put up against a wall and shot, and that will mean more violence and more instability, and certainly not an end to “The Forever War.” Not Martha mentions that the lead judge is a woman she knows from some embassy events and she’s fair and independent so they can probably influence her (umm… what?)! Their meeting is interrupted by Hayes, who’s apparently just wandering the halls of the West Wing searching for something to do. He’s generally displeased this is all taking place behind his back, but no one thinks he can do anything, so it’s understandable. He flatly denies Saul’s request to declassify some intelligence that could prove Haqqani is innocent, asks again for the “action plan” to kill more brown people, and storms out.

Back in Carrie/Yevgeny land, Yevgeny continues to pry about the drone strike. He says again he didn’t put two and two together, then proceeds to ask actual personal questions like, “so is that why you left the CIA?” Carrie explains her mental state in season four, which is not something she’s ever done, but it’s interesting nonetheless. She catches herself at the end again questioning whether he’s being truthful or not, because if he is, she doesn’t know why. Poor Carrie has no concept of a personal relationship that’s not transactional.

They eventually arrive at the house where Max is being kept. Again, Yevgeny does all the talking. Carrie storms in to find Max, sprawled out on a mattress, one arm still handcuffed to the bed frame. Immediately she springs into nurturing, concerned Carrie, which is not a hat she wears often (side note: when will Carrie wear another hat?). Max says he’s fine but the narsty wound they show in close-up confirms otherwise. He explains that he doesn’t have the flight recorder anymore but he didn’t want to make a big deal about it, lest it suggest the flight recorder was not just some random red boxy thing. “You did good,” Carrie assures him.

Unfortunately, their touching moment ends right there because a few trucks full of Taliban soldiers pull up to the house. They uncuff Max and then cart him off. Yevgeny looks on helpless. Carrie tells Max she will find him. Then she goes off on the dude who let them in. Yevgeny has to physically restrain her. He looks in her eyes, tells her he’ll take care of this while Carrie attempts to calm her breathing. Did anyone else get the indication he has definitely done this before? He was too effective for that to be a rookie attempt. Anyhoozles, Yevgeny finally gets the location where they took Max, so it’s off to stop #3.

At Dover Air Force Base, Hayes is asking Linus for his unconditional loyalty, which is always something you want a president to be asking for. He’s really miffed that people are going behind his back but Linus says something like “we gotta be in the information flow, man.” Hayes repeats the phrase back, and you definitely get the indication he’s the type of person who uses words and phrases wrong all the time without realizing. Again, he’s the president! Don’t you feel safe?

Oh, the reason they’re at the base is because Hayes had an empty casket shipped back on Air Force One for a photo op. And surprise, surprise! G’ulom came over too. I’m sure they’ll have tons to talk about.

Elsewhere in Pakistan, Saul is grasping at straws and goes to Bunny’s home. Tasneem is there, because they have no secrets between them. Saul pleads for their help coming up with a way to help Haqqani. If they don’t, there will be another war, right at their border, and that’s not great for America, but they’re 7000 miles away. It’s really not great for Pakistan, because it’ll be right on their doorstep. Bunny is having none of it. The Americans play hot and cold with Pakistan, asking for their help whenever it suits them and in the interim killing their citizens, withholding aid, and generally being massive dicks. Enough already!

Saul sees himself out, but Tasneem surprisingly comes knocking on his car window. She’ll help him. Why? She doesn’t want to watch the world burn. This is a surprise because I thought that was Tasneem’s defining quality.

Carrie and Yevgeny arrive at stop #3, which is a field just above where Max is being kept. Carrie scopes out the house. It’s barely being guarded, but who knows how long that’ll last. She decides to phone a friend, but Saul never answers his damn phone. So she decides to phone a Single White Female.

Jenna: Carrie? What the hell? You made me look like an idiot. Carrie: Made you? Lol ok. Anyway, please listen. Mike: What are you doing, Carrie? Carrie: Oh, great, you again. I found Max. Y’know, that thing you guys were doing anything in your power to accomplish? I did it in like 12 hours. Mike: Who are you with? Carrie: ...Breezing by that question. Anyway, here are the coordinates. Will you call special ops? Max is in critical condition, I don’t know how much longer he can make it.  Mike: Do you have any idea how much trouble you’re in? Carrie: Do you have any idea how much I don’t give a fuck? Just call special ops. Bye. [click] Mike: You are now a fugitive, your case is with the FBI, Carrie…? CARRIE?

In the Oval Office, Hayes and G’ulom meet for an “unofficial summit.” Hayes reads a headline on his iPad that declares “The Two Presidents,” which… is certainly a true thing about them. Hayes hems and haws about going back to war with the Taliban, and G’ulom says some manipulative stuff about the US being all-powerful fighters who could totally put them away in two to three weeks. Hayes doesn’t even know he’s being manipulated though and plays right into G’ulom’s hand. He eats this shit up! He loves hearing about American dominance and how he could be the steward of it. If it means murdering even more brown people, that’s just a bonus!

Saul and his new BFF Tasneem arrive at the home of the lead judge for Haqqani’s trial and plead with her that he’s innocent. She asks for literally any evidence and their response is “just trust us, two perfect strangers who barged into your house late at night.” She’s highly skeptical until Tasneem pulls up a news article about the RPG that hit one of the Taliban caravans back in episode two. That was meant for Haqqani, because he wanted peace and the ISI didn’t, and he still agreed to the peace deal. This is apparently enough to sway her, so she agrees to a continuance for one week while Saul and Tasneem figure out what to do.

Carrie is taking a light nap in the back seat of Yevgeny’s truck when he wakes her. Some more cars have arrived at the house where Max is. She peers through the binoculars to see Jalal Haqqani rolling up with his crew. Shit. Jalal enters the room where Max is being held and asks him who shot down the helicopters. “What helicopters?” Max cooly replies. Max 4 President!

Above, Carrie is panicked and phones Mike again. Mike admits that no, special ops isn’t coming. It’s too risky, they haven’t scouted the site, etc. Carrie, totally missing the point, offers to scout the site herself. The issue, of course, isn’t with the site, it’s with Carrie herself. She’s a rogue agent, calling from a Russian sat phone. Who else is even listening in on this call? Carrie says, verbatim, “I don’t underestimate the difficulty.” Whenever Carrie goes searching for euphemisms (“That is a mischaracterization!”) you know she’s in deep shit and that she knows she’s in deep shit. She pleads with Mike that Max is one of ours and we can’t just abandon him. He says they’re doing all they can, which is of course a lie. This must all feel eerily reminiscent of Brody and Tehran for her, a slow-motion car crash she’s powerless to stop.

In need of something, anything, to do, Carrie asks Yevgeny for his gun. She’s going to scout the site herself, at least see if Max is still alive. Yevgeny reluctantly agrees but vows to book it if she gets in trouble, which is also of course a lie.

In Kabul, Saul visits Haqqani in his cell, which is also eerily reminiscent of the cage they kept Brody in in season three. He tells him of the continuance he secured and Haqqani is like, “bro, why are you doing all this?” Saul says it’s because he’s innocent. Haqqani knows the truth though: after forty of years of war, none of them are still innocent.

In the court room, one by one the judges file in. The last and presiding one, however, is not the woman Tasneem and Saul met the night prior. That’s right, G’ulom pulled the ol’ trial judge switcheroo! This new guy is definitely not ordering a continuance. He gives a speech about the pain and suffering Haqqani has inflicted on thousands of people. How he killed both presidents. He sentences him to death. Saul looks on horrified. He calls Linus, who informs him that Hayes has asked for new perspectives on Afghanistan, and John Zabel is in the Oval Office meeting with him as they speak. They are extremely disgusted, so we know John Zabel must suck. Outside the courthouse, crowds have gathered in celebration of the announcement of Haqqani’s inevitable execution.

In the Oval Office, Linus interrupts the meeting between Hayes and John Zab—oh my god, it’s Hugh Dancy! Ok, ok, we all knew it would be Hugh Dancy, but it’s still exciting! He has a terrible haircut, awful facial hair, and gives off general vibes of hot evilness. He makes a few incredibly racist remarks, praises Hayes’ quick action in avenging Beau Bridge’s death, and talks about next steps. Linus comes thisclose to doing a Jim Halpert on The Office impression.

A few Taliban soldiers come into Max’s room and drag him up. He groans and yells. Outside, Carrie, gun in hand, makes her way to the perimeter of the house. They’ve carried Max into the courtyard and are pulling an orange jumpsuit on him. He screams in protest, doing everything he can to resist. Jalal stands in front, camera and tripod at the ready. Carrie watches in horror, beginning to put the pieces together. They pull Max’s glasses off and she pulls her pistol up, ready to shoot.

Suddenly, Yevgeny grabs her from behind, his hand over her mouth, muzzling her cries. He puts her against a wall (why is this so sexual??) and stares into her eyes. “No,” he whipsers. For once, she listens.