#she rly said fuck it i want u 🤪

[swtsours-archived]

“   your   lips   make   me   wonder   what   the   rest   of   you   would   taste   like..   ”

[bigmack2go]

Since i made tjis tag i thought i might as well add onto it already so uh yeah… again: feel free to use this to explain the internet to ur parents

Emoji guide!!

💀: is like a way to laugh. Specially like a „bruh“ or „no she/he/they/you did not“, „i cant believe he/she/they/you did this“ or „there is no way they/you/she/he did this!“. Do not use this if someone died please!

😭: also a laugh. Dont ask. People use it differently but many people use it specifically when they are jokingly complaining or whining about something. Also when something is unbelievable and/or like a wheezing „what?!“ or „seriously?!“

🥺: we usually mock ppl w this saying they’re pick me (fishing for compliments)

🤠: i hate my life right now

😃😀: those are like a frozen smile and show that u highly dislike smt

🙂: im about to strangle someone and beat the shit out of them. When you need to take a deeo breath to keep cool

🙃: either mocking pedoph!les lt trying to creep someone out or saying that someone is creepy

😆: hAHa YoUrE So FuNnY (hint: youre not funny)

😁: ironically saying „look what I’ve accomplished“

🥹: is the version of „🥺“ that we actually use

🥲: can be „beautiful“ *wipes tear from eye* or like the office glance at the camera.

😇: i do not in fact have very good intentions

☺️: im gonna kill u. Kind of a „you did what now?!“ when u try to keep calm

😊: im so not okay right now and i hate my life or being proud in a bragging way

😉: make fun of pedoph!les

😌: uh-huh thats right. Im great (and u suck). OR „good girl“ yk?? Or being proud

😗: also a frozen smile kinda thing

😋: hehe mischievous

😝: mocking old ppl

🤪: ironic way of mocking pick me girls (aka girls that are fishing for compliments)

🤨: „thats what she said…“

🧐: „do you realise what youre saying??“

🤓: making a mocking voice

😎: mikedrop

🥸: are you aware that u sound like an idiot rn

🤩: IM GONNA BE A DOCTOR OR LAWYER OR SMT (i didn’t fail my maths exam for once)

😣😖: u gonna cry?/ go cry about it

😫: our generation is weird and has to make everything moaning. Sry but this is moaning.

😩: „OH COME ON!“

🤯: are you telling me you didn’t know this yet?

🥵: moking hot situations or saying „that was close“

🥶: „YOU GOT ROASTED“

😶‍🌫️: wasn me

😱: are you telling me u didn’t know this?

🤗: im so happy for u (i hate you and i don’t think u deserve shit and it’s not fair that i have smt i want. Fuck u)

🤭: you think im frightened of u?

🤔: ironic way to say „i wonder why“

🤫: i did smt haha

🤥: i did smt not-so-haha

🫠: „that was so embarrassing“ discompfot or blush or a way of showing a crush. Some people use it as that thing where j get rly angry and try to cover it up and then your eye starts twitching

🤥: haha wasn me (it totally was me and we all know it)

🫥: no ones laughing

😐😑: i cant w u

🫨: more ironic version of „🥶“

🤤: i want that

🙄😴: waiting

😮‍💨: why r u such an idiot? And why did god choose me to handle it?

😵- oh— (swallowing a laugh)

🥴: w h a t

🤢: exxeragating way to make fun of ppl

🤑: gimme gimme

🤡: u/i sound like an idiot. Also way to mock creeps

👹👺: when u make your voice all bellowish and/or come of creepy and weord

👽: he/she/they sounds like an idiot. Are they dumb? Or „girl—?“

👾: stop talking. Ur annoying and also no ones buying ur shit

✌️: often used ironically

🤌🏼: *cheffkiss*

🫰🏼🤏🏻: teeny weeny

🫴🏻: y tho

☝🏼: mhm (pretending to be an authority figure, usually in a lightly mocking way)

🖐️: oft used in combo w „😭“ to say „can i live??“

👁️👄👁️: heh

✍️: noted OR im writing u in my death note

🦶: stfu or what ur saying makes no sense

🫦: mockingly sexual

👣: ur onto smt

👀: „woOHP“ *swallows a laugh*, he said what?, offensive sideeye, looking forward to smt OR i may or me not be plning smt (im absolutely planning smt) aka what i says has double meaning

🗣️: no one wants to hear your bullshit

👼: opposite as 😇

💆: this isnt a massage. This is me desperatly holding my demples and taking deep breaths so i dont kill anyone

💅: fab. Its also kind of slang/ hidden way to say „gay“ and do the handflick thingy. At least it used to be idk

🧑‍🦯: ur not making any sense

🧍‍♀️: someone spunds like an idiot or idk what to do w myself/ this sotuation

🕴️: you are about to break into dancing

🕺💃: vibing w music

🎩/🎓: used to be like „ha look how smart i am because of tjis one thing i got right“ in a nonserious way but no one rly uses it anymore

💍: marry me (obv) but like in an easy way. You had a good idea and im flashed by it so im exerragating your genious so much i want to marry u. Thats just an example obv

👑: u dropped this

🦄: delulu

✨: to make a word fancy like precenting a banner u put one of these at the beginning and end of the word/phrase/sentence. This can br sarcastic or serious. In quarantine many people used this as general quote unquote marks

🌚🌝: hehe

🔥: pften used by bro-pal-guy-jocks to push a post by comenting

[possibilistfanfiction]

"the neoliberal rhetoric of the pronoun (ESPECIALLY in english) as the ultimate form of advocacy" -- it's such a relief to hear your take on ava's thoughts on pronouns bc i've always been frustrated by how limiting they are? how much stress they cause? i know pronouns are important for some folks but also we're so much more than that...

whew like ok i work in dei, mostly for youth (sport, schools, etc) but also doing lgbtq 101 workshops for upper level execs who run big sports orgs, school districts, blah blah, & it's like... people really think that getting someone's pronouns right (or even trying to get someone's pronouns right) is like........ you have done it! u are not transphobic! u understand the nuances of everyone's gender if you use the right pronoun!

& like... i get paid a fair amount of money to lowkey sell out & explain what a pronoun is (lol) but at the same time it is the fucking bane of my existence. i personally hate pronouns. i think they are legitimately so stupid lol. like... to distill the vast nuanced experience of both having a gender identity AND being perceived at all times as a gendered being (which sometimes match & sometimes don't) into a PRONOUN is just baffling to me.

i think cis people (especially those who don't really want to do the work needed to understand what abolition means -- how queerness & especially gender expansive trans identities are a crucial part of the intersection of where that ethic is rooted) just see pronouns as a sort of easy way out. like you're cool with trans people if you can remember someone's they/them pronouns. it's so gross & so deeply tried up in representational politics (diverse oppressors are still oppressors, white supremacy can be present in ethic & politic even without a white person in the room, etc).

& of course like you said pronouns are definitely important to some people (it is always nice to feel seen & respected at the most basic level 🤪) & definitely not at all saying that anyone should like get people's pronouns wrong, obviously, but i just really hate the concept of how my entire experience as a dyke & a person in general has to be reflected to the world at all times in a silly word which is so vastly incomplete. & i genuinely (not anyone's fault!) hate how that can get tied up in my writing, especially my writing about queerness. when ppl rly care abt terms & IDs etc i can understand bc the common messaging is all rooted in neoliberalism & "representation" instead of anti-state resistance, etc, so it's like. okay lol. but i am intentional in the way i write queerness bc of my own ethic & politic, so you know

ANYWAY yes. queerness & transness is so deeply expansive, to make it only about (or mostly about) pronouns is, to me, ethically against what queerness & transness really is, especially if those pronouns are mostly talked about in the context of english. & i would be remiss in saying that using non-normative &/or neopronouns is a privilege rooted in safety. often i don't disclose they/them pronouns bc i just don't want to explain myself, & i deeply do not care, but i'm always protected in a lot of ways by my whiteness (& that i'm educated, able-bodied, cis-passing, employed, etc etc etc). for a lot of people, for a lot of reasons, pronouns aren't safe. being out as trans isn't safe. but that doesn't mean their gender identities are any different or less important or less vital.

so yah ur right sorry this is a rant lmfao & once & for all.... ava is the most anti-state anti-institution character lmao. she genuinely would not give a flying fuck about her own pronouns. god doesn't fit into a pronoun anyway :)

[killlavendr]

1: no

2: dark emerald green - cuz greens the slytherin color and dark emerald green is pretty

3: scar from the lion king but less evil

4: yes bro gets no bitches🙏😭

5: no

6: Russian, german, or latin (but I think he already knows a bit of Latin)

7: prof. Mcgonagal

8: slytherin?

9: I think he likes rich foods. And bitter foods. I don’t think he likes too much sugar. Favored drinks consist of red wine, water, firewhisky, and coffee (he could use a pepper up but he likes the taste better lol). For foods, I hc he has rather expensive taste. Seafood, fancy salads and soups, caviar, ect. Also a ton of arugula in those salads

10: hmmm no

11: this is dumb af but when Umbitch is like “so you originally applied for the DADA position?” “..yes.” “And you were not accepted?(or smth like that)” “..obviously not…” LMAOAOAO the sass and then him hitting Ron w a book I love it

12: Hermione, I think she’d be most likely to try and understand him and would snitch tf out of James, Sirius, Peter, ect. They’d be friends i think

13: yes + I stan him (both of them) + I literally can’t imagine anyone else playing him

14: muffliato. He wants to keep hearing those annoying ass kids to a minimum so he uses it whenever he’s alone and/or grading papers

15: reading. For a bonus I think his favorite genre would be horror (he thinks it’s funny. “Hah- that’s not what intestines look like.”)

16: when I was like five I didn’t like him. Then I got back into HP when I was 12 and thought he was hot

17: yes💀

18: his hair (in the movies) and nose

19: summarized - he’s an asshole

20: I literally don’t know

21: considering this hoe has had like 2 good memories in his lifetime probably just hanging out w Lily

22: Ehhh yeah probably but her holding back laughter when he was getting bullied + publicly humiliated is a red flag so idk

23: lingerie ..NAH NAH JKJKJKJ LMOAOAO but idk that button up shirt thing he has and just some black dress pants😭 also if this counts i hc he has a tattoo of lilies on his right shoulder

24: yeah

25: yes - in general or in HP? I’ll answer for both. Mitsuri Kanroji from kny - no😭 I think she’d like his emoness cuz she’s at least a little bit in love with almost everyone but also be scared of him💀 and Snape would hate her. For HP - no I don’t think him and Ron get along

26: horror I already said that tho

27: yeah I do

28: yeah because I have daddy issues and are more (non romantically) attracted to men who are fucking mean and I have to actually work to make them like me. Man I’m messed up

29: very plain but also fancy if that makes sense?? Like I think he would keep decorations to a minimum, have a slytherin tapestry on the wall or smth, velvet curtains, keeps his desk very clean, dark colors, green and black bed cotton bed, ect. Almost no clutter if not none

30: don’t bully ur students when you become a teacher u asshole Ik ur life sucks but don’t take it out on random ass 14 year olds (him staring at me like 🤨??? In response) also let’s kiss

31: yeah - depression 🤪🤪🤪 cuz his life is an actual dumpster fire. I think it gets rly bad in the winter and he gets more irritable. And OCD but that’s just a lil headcanon I just think he’s very obsessive about being clean to a point it’s unhealthy

32: idk sneepyheepy??? Severus Sneepyheepy Snape lololol

33: Lady fingers, Clair de lune, 月亮代表我的心. HE IS THE BIGGEST FUCJING TERESA TENG FAN EVER U CANT CHANGE MY MIND

34: every single snape ship I don’t like any of them

35: no he has no friends (other than mcgonagal but he won’t admit she’s his friend.)

Snape:“I don’t have friends..I am the night.”

Students: “OMG SNAP IS BATMAN!”

36: I think he gets nauseous when he has a lot of stress and gets crazy painful stomachaches. Also I’m self projecting that happens to me when my anxiety gets super bad and holy shit those stomachaches make me go violent

37: his hair. It’s described as rly greasy but in the movie his hair is LUXURIOUS AND FLUFFY pls snape take some advice from snape

38: his hair. It’s described as rly greasy but in the movie his hair is LUXURIOUS AND FLUFFY pls snape take some advice from snape

39: Fall. Not too cold but not too hot. Is happiest on cool mildly windy days

40: hmmm idk hanging out w Lily, reading abt magic, and crying

41: His bitchass dad

42: probably as a kid but quickly learned that he didn’t want anybody to see that side of him

43: i already mentioned this but the lily tattoo

44: definitely floo

45: aroace. I have a post abt this but I actually hc that snape didn’t have romantic feelings for Lily but has a hard time differing platonic and romantic feelings so he thought he did if that makes sense

46: Remus..if he didn’t almost kill him😭

47: like 2..oh for slytherin too? Then like 40,000 or smth

48: yeah he was like too obviously evil to actually be evil

49: tall for sure - I don’t think he’d be nearly as intimidating as he’s described if he was short

50: yeah I think so I also think he would’ve been a bit nicer (maybe I’m letting my hopes get the best of me tho)

Snape asks

Do you have a snOTP? What is it?

What do you think is Snape's favourite colour and why?

Which Disney character, according to you is most like Snape?

Do you think Snape remained a virgin?

Do you think Snape ever loved anyone other than Lily, romantically or platonically?

If Snape learnt another language, which would he choose?

Which staff member do you think gets along well with Snape?

If you had to assign Snape to a house, which one would it be?

What are your personal headcanons on Snape's diet and favourite foods?

Do you think Snape's character has changed the way you think/feel about others?

Your favourite scenes with book/movie!Snape?

If you had to chose a Golden trio era student to be Snape's friend, who would it be and why?

Do you think Alan Rickman contributed to your love for Snape?

What do you think is Snape's favourite potion to prepare?

If Snape had any free time, how do you think he would spend it?

Were you ever a Snater? How and when did you become a Snover?

Do you think Snape was unhappy even after joining the DEs?

Your favourite physical feature of Snape?

According to you, what is Snape's biggest flaw?

Why do you love Snape so much?

What particular memory do you think Snape used to conjure his patronus?

Do you think Lily was a good friend to Severus?

What do you think Snape wore under his robes?

Do you think Snape ever self-harmed?

Is there any other character you love as much as Snape? Do you think they'll get along?

What genre do you think Snape preferred to read?

Do you think Snape was close to his mother?

Do you think you'd like being taught by Snape?

How do you headcanon Snape's bedroom would look like?

If you could give young Snape any advice, what would it be?

Do you think Snape had any mental illnesses? Which ones and why?

If you could change Snape's middle name to be something other than Tobias what would you choose?

Top 3 songs you think will show up in Snape's most played?

Do you have any Snape NOTPs?

Snapey BROTPs?

Did Snape get sick often? Your headcanons for when he was sick?

Snape didn't pay attention to his physical appearance, but if you had to choose a part he would take care of, which would it be?

Which type of weather does Snape prefer?

How do you think Snape spent his early childhood days?

Other than Lily, who do you think impacted Snape's life the most?

Is there a side to Snape that he hasn't let anyone see? What do you headcanon this "secret personality" to be like?

Do you think Snape cried often?

What's your favourite headcanon about Snape? Is there a movie/song/book that reminds you of Snape?

What mode of magical travel would suit Snape the best?

Your opinion on Snape's sexuality?

Which of the Marauders do you think Snape could have gotten along with?

How many points do you think Snape would've awarded during his career?

Did you feel Snape was the "good guy" even before the reveal?

Do you prefer tall!Snape or short!Snape?

Had Snape lived, would he continue teaching at Hogwarts?

Reblog and let your followers ask more about how you think of Snape :3

[kuiinncedes]

prof asked for music again for our end of meeting team chat blast 🤩😂😌

[dreamgirledward]

tag game ! :)

ahh ty for the tags lu & billy ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 @castieldean @manforsale ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to get to know better

name: sammy!

star signs: virgo sun, gemini moon, capricorn rising

height: 5'1"/ 155 cm if u want to laugh at me dw im used to it 🥲

time: 1:32pm

birthday: aug 25

favorite bands: (not all of these are bands!) florence + the machine, bts, tame impala, brockhampton, mitski, paul simon, bruce springsteen, fleetwood mac, orville peck, rina sawayama, christine and the queens, lcd soundsystem, david bowie, joni mitchell, the rolling stones, chvrches, hozier

last movie: thor 💞 and ⚡️ :^)

last show: wwdits 🧛🏼

when i created this blog: 2012 LMAO

what i post: literally anything - im sure most people know me as a spn blog which is fair ! but anyone who knows me knows ive got range (🤡) so ya my blog is whatever i want it to be !!

last thing i googled: "how to remove pages from a pdf without acrobat" SDJKFHSDJKHGF

other blogs: ough i used to have sideblogs but theyre dead now and honestly! im not rly a sideblog girlie, i dont have the energy lol

do i get asks?: depends! for some reason i got a lot when i was busiest last semester but virtually none now. id love to receive more if theyre nice <3

following: .......2197...... that's what happens when you have the same blog for 10 years ig 🤪 i need to go through and unfollow tho im sure 70% of them are inactive or dont interest me anymore

average hours of sleep: maybe 6 or 7 on a good day if i sleep at a relatively normal time (which is like 1 or 2am i know i know that's not good trust me i know) ?? it's usually less tho, and not enough, i frequently wake up very tired

instruments: none i am musically challenged 🥰

what im wearing: a black oversized mitski shirt and black flowy culottes :))

dream job: [a successful] film editor!

dream trip: cant think of a specific type of trip so im just gonna list places ive been wanting to visit: ive wanted to go to hawaii my whole life but i know tourism is fucking the islands up so :''') yeah lol rip, egypt without having to worry about heat stroke so sometime in the spring, iceland would be so sick (actually anything as far up north as you can get would be the sickest), hong kong with my best friends, lots of places! i just really want to travel 😭

nationality: canadian but my ethnicity's egyptian!

favorite songs: pink in the night by mitski (nobody say anything 🔫), immaterial by sophie, graceland by paul simon, hungry heart by bruce springsteen, kalahari down by orville peck, she's a rainbow by the rolling stones, hammond song by the roches, sweet by brockhampton, river by leon bridges, i by kendrick lamar, breathe deeper by tame impala, epilogue: young forever, butterfly, trivia: love, respect, and telepathy all by bts OUGH forgetting so many but i wont bore u these are just what i thought of without checking anything hehe

last book ive read: the marrow thieves by cherie dimaline (for my 20th cen children's literature course, of which this book is not 20th cen but we're doing comparisons rn lol)

top 3 fictional universes id like to live in: billy said wwdits which is a rly good answer. all i can think of is middle earth and specifically the shire bc those hobbits rly do know how to just chill. cant think of anything else skjhdfj

tags! <3

@crosbystillsandhash @taikacohen @bronconatural @monstermoviedean @caskarass @twocarsonenight @hotgirlhirsch @citruscas @danneelswife @emeraldcas @gayangelsmp3 @jewishdeanwinchester @agentgayngel @heartshapedcas @girlblocker @kellyscabin @clairewolf @katebushstandean @skepticalfrogg @risencas

[irl]

i was gonna nix the trauma tonight cos i didnt feel like it but ig im in a silly goofy mood cos here we are anyway 🤪

anyway like truly heed the tw cos idk this ine might get graphic idk man ill try to remember to tag for it but dam dude it may jus go unt lol soz. silly goofy mood 🥴

***trauma dumping

like. ik that all the shit today couldve been prevented if i just. blocked her number. she doesnt have any way to contact me, she doesnt use social media. but i cant

i dont know why i really dont. is it masochism? do i secretly like it every time she texts? do i enjoy the adrenaline rush? i dont fucking know. i feel afraid of her. im not constantly afraid. yea she still affects my daily life but like, shes not On My Mind yknow. but god

when i went to florida last december i was constantly shitting bricks. afraid that she was alrwady back. cos i knew she was supposed to be going back. i was so afraid id see her. till i found oht the night before i left that she still was in missouri. i felt so much relief. wxcept it still wasnt all gone, the fear and anxiety. some small part of me kept buzzing the rest of the night and the next day that id see her, that shed see me. that shed sink her claws in me again and ibwouldnt be able to get away this time

when i told her i was planning on leaving she started. really financially abusing me. more than she already had. i tried to get a part time job that i ended up also being able to get her one too. we were just sign holders. i got to watch netflix for six hours and get paid 25$ an hour for it. it wasnt bad.

every time i got paid shed ask for money and she also stopped paying for gas and for food. she demanded half of my check for “rent” or whatever despite the original “agreement” that she got me under was that id live rent free.

when i got my tax return which was around $700, she took all of it, wasting most of my money on uber eats and shit. saying she was going to pay me back but never did and would get mad if i tried to stand up to it.

my stimulus check went the same way, except i was able to spend a little of that on myself before she decided she wanted jt all and i couldnt even put anything towards savings to leave.

looking back. it shouldve been obvious. i was mad abt it yea but i didnt see it as a form of financial abuse. she had me wearing very thick rose colored glasses

she had me constantly high. if not constantly than as often as she could. she had me drive while i was high guilting me w the fact she couldnt drive, period. she would smoke out of a bong while u was driving past police officers on purpose for the thrill. i hadnt rly ever smoked much because of her

she found me hollowed out by my ex who had taken almost everything from me, including all sense of self. i wasnt allowed to have a self outside of him. he disapproved of everything i did if he didnt like it. im sure i did shit that really fucked him up too tho. i have no idea but like. this was my severely untreated and inflated bpd time. i has no coping methods and so while i was suseptible to trauma and manipulation or whateva i was also like. a horrible person lmao. idk much abt that me cos yknow 🥴amnesia🥴 lol but what i do remember, i dont like.

but i still got fucked up by him. she found me a couple months after he broke up with me and i was left just a completely hollow husk of a person with nothing driving me.

id never rly smoked weed much tbh. i lived in colorado before and after The Great Legalization and i only smoked weed once then. i got crossfaded with a group of friends and a handle of fireball then we went and watched the first deadpool movie in theaters lol

the second

HOL D ON LMAO INTERMISSION COS I GENUINELY WANT TO FUCKING CRITY NOW LMAO LMAO LAMON AMLMAO FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK C UVJ FUCK I TOLD MY FRIEND ABT A SLEIGH BELLS CONCERT AND ASKED HER IF WE COULD GO TOGTHER AND SHE SAID LET ME THINK ABOUT IT AND SHE KNOWS SLEIGH BELLS IS MY FAVORITE FUCKING BAND AND I

SHE JUST TEXTED ME LMAO LMAO LMAO SHE ASKED ME FOR THE DATES AGAIN AND I WAS LIKE OHOHO? serves me right for hoping for smth dependent on someone not me. i shouldve learned this fhckinnglesson forever ago LOLOL every time i get hope in something that depends on someone else its alwahs fucking. crhshed. i dont hope for things dependent on other people unless its literally guaranteed like my moms guilt money lol. whatever. its fine “sorry you. cant come wjth me and [redacted] we are going with family frowny face emoji”. like. okay

im not mad at her. genuinely i hope she has fun. but fuck dide. u couldntve fucming. googled it. yourself and then simply not told me ur plans and be like soz boo cant make it. i wouldve rather the fucking. lie. i let my hopes get up. i didnt take anything out on her ofc like id never do that cos like. Yeah. Im Upset. Yeah. Im Angry. but i know im mostly just angry at the situation, not exactly at her. yeah i wouldve apprecisted more tact bht like. at the end of the day its fine. i probably wouldntve been able to afford it

i loved sleigh bells since i was like. a freshman or sophomore. i found them with young legends on some wally west playlist on 8tracks. i was like hm interesting. then somewhere i heard crown on the ground abd my brain started to brr. after that it was a rabbit hole and now ive been to like. three sleigh bells concerts and my favorite most cherished memory ever is from a sleigh bells concert and ibalso got the setlist from that same concert and ive got all but their latest two albums on cd and vinyl and

at my second concert, we were in a basement bar show in aspen colorado. the opening act was tunde olaniran. id never seen or heard him berore. but oh my god it was love at first sight. this man is Drop Dead Gorgeous. he has the voice of an angel. he deserves the world. and then sleigh bells

god dereks guitar is so harsh and whiney but so fucking powerful and rhythmic. i love his guitar i love his hands

alexis. alexis krauss is my One. i would do anything she asked. shes. god. i was up against the stage, there were no barriers. i was singing and dancing along to every song she sang with all of my energy all of my might just thouroughly experiencing the night

the first time id seen sleigh bells i did so at a festival and i got high for the second time bcos some dude wire wrapping crystal at a booth offered me some hits off of his blunt lol. and so i spent the whole First Time Seeing My Favorite Band And The Whole Reason I Came To Riot Fest high off of my ass and behind my phone videoing and taking pictures. i remember basically none of it lmao

exceptnfor jonas but hes a topic for later. dw hes cool.

so i decided i was going to do my damndest to remember this concert and i wasnt gonna use my phone at all. and that was the Correct choice. sure i dont remember it all, this is deep in the times that i Dont Remember but ive clung to this memory with gnashing teeth and claws.

they were performing minnie from their album bitter rivals. during one of the “minnie minnie, go count your pennies” lines alexis got right up to my face, stooping down close. just far enough for the microphone to be comfortable. her hair cascading around us. for just a split moment, it was just me and her in the world. no one else mattered.

she ripped back up when the line was over and i remember once she got to “window pain, the pain!” i did a deep drop, just fully going feral for a moment.

it was the best concert of my life. she handed me the set list at the end.

anyway i love sleigh bells hi

intermission over ig lmao

that also, incidentally, included the second time i got high so there u go. the third was with my ex fiances uncle. kinda boring. then i met tisa when i moved to florida and after we broke up but still lived together. she also offered me coke once but i declined her lmao. one of the hard stop drugs

after that it was all the hippie. she very quickly (like within a couple weeks knowing her) put in the dynamic of “big sister little brother” and started placing herself in a caretaker role regardless of what i said. after a bit i relented and let it happen. and she started getting me high. very quickly, cos i was still untreated unregulated bpd bitch, the unhealthy dynamic was solidified and the infatuation and fixation began because i was very vulnerable and she was placing herself in the role of protector cause thats what i craved.

she apparently did this a few times before. i saw the end of her previous one with a woman named sarah. she talked about a couple others. i dont remember them clearly.

she talked about herself a lot. she trauma dumped constantly. and i was just expected to listen. she told me horrible horrible things thatd apparently happened to her. i still cant tell if she was telling the truth. and id just have to listen to it.

if it was true she had a habit of bringing it her way it felt like. it might get graphic soon

animal gore hg stuff idk um doubt anyones reading anywau im just gonna write

one time her sons cat got out. this was at the first place we lived with the trailer. her sons cat got out. or maybe it happened in the trailer. i. we found him. i dont know. i only just. unlocked this memory tonight. but god it was so awful and disgusting.

somehow he got a gnarly cut on one of his paws. and cats use a litter box and all. and she never cleaned it. and it got infected so a gnarly cut turned into a necrotic painful oozing wound.

i dont even know how it happened. or how long hed been like that. he was her cat and he rarely ever came around to me anyway.

she pissed away $15k on bullshit. so much so that upon finding this she decided she couldnt afford a vet. shed deal with it herself. with my assistance ofc cos she couldnt do it alone.

my task was to hold this poor cat still, wrapped tight in a blanket to keep him from hurting us or himself. as she cut away at his paw pad with a pair of cuticle scissors.

im going to vomit

there was so much blood. he was in so much pain. the wound was so bad. the blood was so dark. then it was bright. i dont know why. i didnt expect him to have bright red blood. the only time you see an animals blood is dried dark rust on pavement. but here he was. bleeding like a human. bright red

its teally hard. walking through this memory. i have a migraine building. im fighting twars. this is physically painful. i

it took so long. i felt like we were there for hours. we were probably only there for 30 minutes to an hour. but that long is infinity when youre watching this. she poured something on his foot. it was supposed to steralize it. it was some dark liquid that stained his white foot bright yellow. she wrapped his foot in gauze and put a sock on it. every few days unwrapping to go at the foot again a little bit. squeezing more and more awful puss shit out.

eventually it healed. she decided shed do it herself. with my help of course bcos how could she ever do this alone

i guess im done for now. im physically shaking. im out of weed. its almost midnight and i open tomorrow. and most importantly, my phones dying. the stars aligned i should sleep

i wish she would forget about me so i could forget about her

[y2khye]

i rly like how u wrote this by seasons :) very well thought out nd pretty heh ( i also told myself how im keeping this short but its too good and u deserve all my reactions WORDED OUT.. heh sorry pretty)

“I would hate to be stuck somewhere for 4 years, and then not even be guaranteed a job after all that debt I would be in.” He pauses and then chuckles at how gloomy he sounds.” - AND YOU KNOW WHAT ?? this mfer is actually right college/uni IS a scam 😐

not only is jk here greasy but also he pulls that Oh Im built different🤪i like to be pursued🤣 🙄🙄🙄 lucky hes hot

“Nothing but my freedom. And it seems like everything tries to take that away eventually.” Your breath catches and you think something cracks inside of you. Can you ever truly contain a star?”

i love Absolutely Love this part, just smth abt that callback to her thoughts?essays? idk what to call it) about stars hmm

oc going off abt the stars like go bestie thats me with the moon

“Gonna fuck these one day, okay?” he tells you. .. Him saying that.. , should be vulgar. But to you it’s a promise that this is going to happen again, and it makes you high, floaty thinking about him wanting you, desiring you. Him already thinking about the next time he gets to have you when he hasn’t even finished with you this time.”

-poor oc ohhhhh mommae

MOMMAE INSERT OPRAH GIF THE HOWL REFERENCE - SHIVERS ME TIMBS

“You wanna mark me, don’t you? Was the tattoo not enough?” You nod eagerly. Of course you want to mark him, of course the tattoo wasn’t enough. Maybe you’re greedy, or maybe you’re just in love. But you don’t think it will ever be enough;” - i just . greed is always gonna be a persons downfall

if u could see my face when the professor said could u answer all my qns abt them.... do u love the idea of them u have in their head and the wah u describe ocs face going just Realizashun WOW. The fking speech the professor had oh my god so good so good how it intertwined w ocs recurring thots about loving jk oh mommae

“it’s easy to forget the things he does behind your back when he has you on yours beneath him,” - excellent show stopping yup

“But you know the game, you’ve both played it before. Act mad and hurt, get babied and taken care of. You give in, so easy for him just like the first time you made him cum and all the other times after that.” This shiiiiitttt sucks because u realise that its becoming a routine and its literally going to end like theres just no recovering frm it LOL m aaannn :(

how i forgot they arent exclusive or maybe they were nd jk wasnt on the same page but he is -_- ugh idek what to say hes sick

“Though your lips are shy, comfortable with only his, his lips are sociable and like playing with friends. Though your hands are small, not even big enough to hold all the love for the fallen star in front of you, his are big. Big enough to hold many things, maybe not love, but surely people. It’s a painful realization, when you come to the conclusion that your naiveté got in the way of you seeing things clearly, that your rose-tinted glasses kept you from seeing things for what they really are, and not what you had wanted them to be. It’s painful getting caught in the path of an imploding star.” LAWDDD so good soo achy love it another fav of mine i love it

“Please just don’t- don’t ruin this,” he begs. His eyes are closed and his brows are scrunched. “We’re good like this, right?”/ NAUR BECAUSE BECAUSE I WILL STELLA I LITERALLY SAT UP IN BED HES SO I JAVE NO WORDS . this mfer is so SELFISH

my god... “You’ll act like the first shower of the season really does signify new beginnings and you’ll act like the rain isn’t going to be a forever reminder of the end of you and him. Spring is here.” No words i love LOVEEEE this how u used the seasons to tell how long their story been going how one season ends signifies what ... oh your mind im going to kiss u actually

omg he rly said girl u are delusional BSKSJSKSJSJ like bro shes dickmatized she cant help it - 🙂🙂🙂hes actually... Evil oh stella younknow you wrote such a good story when people reading absolutely hates the character like jk On timeout for me rn HIM pushing all this on oc nd she apologising im outside his door rn actually im oc shooter like

“the world so much bigger than you thought. Bigger than doe-eyes and pretty tattoos. .... Going through the motions gradually turns to moving on. Sometimes it’s still a soft tender ache, a passive yearning for what was; what could have been. But it doesn’t hurt anymore.” poor oc like thats my baby i wanna give her a hug so bad :(

IM SO MAD CAUSE LIKE WHEN OC REALISED YEA HE GOT MARRIED HE NEVER WANTED FHAT COMMITMENT WITH HER LIKE AND THE GIRL HE GOT MARRIED TO HAD THE NERVE TO CHARGE HER FOR Oatmilk LIKE HONEY YOU ARE TUNNEL SISTERS BE NICE

“He holds eye contact with you when he asks, “Can I see it again? One more time, at least?” not him asking for coochie again like sir . Sir this is your wifes coffeeshop if u dont . Oc rly got that gorilla girp velvet cake gold dust pussy like

one moment he’s getting mad at the thought of him actually gcing a fuck and the next hes like oh but yknow i was waiting for u to come back to our hometwon waiting for you all year like oh fuck off eat my ass

the endings so bittersweet like here i am sitting up in bed like god oc why why why why why no Dick is that good NOT EVER ....... i hope oc had the strength to end it tho like girl its hot girl summer what is u doing -.- ( dont wanna be ur girl started playing her im so sobs) see u know whats funny is me knowing what goes on here there and then boom so much details added in fhat piece everything together beautifully . You did a great job stella heh proud of this huge one youve been writing ! thank you for tbis once again mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah <3333333

idealizations concerning real life relations | jjk (m/nc17)

>>pairing:jungkook x reader / fuckboy!jk x hopeless romantic!oc

>>genre:s2l, fwb, smut, angst

>>word count: 40.9k besties i am so sorry

>>warnings: jk is so sweet, but also so evil lmao, oc lives in her little noggin, angsty fwb, drug and alcohol use, tattoos, multiple smut scenes that include: oral (m/f), fingering (f), light face slapping (with hand and cock??), praise, degradation, marking, dirty talk, so many creampies yum, multiple orgasms, kissing :(, cumming in pants :), probably more but i cant think of it, ok other stuff now, manipulation, infidelity, oc thinks jk is made of stars :(, jk thinks she is so pretty :(, misunderstandings, some fluff if you squint, brunette jk, blonde jk, n blue jk,  1 mentions of: howls moving castle, too many mentions of: stars, the color pink

>>notes: bruv i do not have anything to say for myself EXCPET that i worked v hard on her and i really hope u like it <3 beta: @birbdae​ tysm for dealing with this, she is long lmao 

this is split up by seasons, so if 40k is a lot for one sitting, you can read one season at a time if that is easier :)

>>summary: jungkook loves to be loved, but he doesn’t love in return.

Keep reading

[syrenblubs]

okay literally only one person asked for the storytime (btw ty haru) but im still gonna tell y’all anyway 😼

this happened on new years eve in 2018. every year around this time, my cousins would have a huge party at their house, not only for new years but also for a bunch of my cousins and relatives birthdays (for some reason most of them are in december).

after we all had dinner, they set up the fireworks outside so everyone could see them. one of my cousins asked his mom if he could go out for a walk around the neighborhood (he was doing one of those things desi ppl do to digest their food 😭😭) and his mom said yeah so he left and we all just went and looked at the fireworks.

after everyone pretty much left (except my family because we were the closest to my cousins), my aunt noticed that my cousin didn’t come back (or at least she thought he didn’t). she told my uncles and my parents, and they all started panicking. they went out looking for him, so my dad and uncle drove to the local Walmart that was close to their house to look for him , and my other cousin also walked around the neighborhood to see where he was. my mom and aunt stood outside the house and called the police to file a missing person report. this entire time, my sister and i were just sitting on the couch, watching the New Years event at Times Square, begging to leave (we don’t rly talk to our cousins because ~issues~ so we weren’t close with them; also we couldn’t go out and help look for him because my mom was scared we’d end up going missing)

while im playing angry bird or smth on my phone, i see my cousin who everyone thinks is missing walk into the bathroom. i waited for him to go back into his room and walked over there. i told him everyone was looking for him and i told him to go outside to where my mom and aunt were and he’s like nah so im like k fuck u ill go tell them myself 🙄🙄. they didn’t even believe me at first, but then they went inside and saw him on his desk playing minecraft and they called my dad, uncle, and cousin who were still outside. he got in sm trouble after lmaooo 🤪🤪

basically my family thought my cousin went missing but rly no one saw him come back in the room cuz we were all outside watching fireworks

im sorry if this sounded lowkey stupid LMAO I JUST WANTED TO TELL YALL THAT STORY SO YEAH UM BYE FOR NOW IG

okay but why do the craziest things happen at New Year’s Eve parties 😭😭