#shawn x emily

[mywrittingwonderland]

Toronto or London

Hello Everyone, Am I back? I am not sure, but I just really got stuck in my head these past few days, and well, I figured writing would help me. I didn't really proofread this, so I apologize in advance. I also don't necessarily love this that much, but at least it got me out of my limbo phase. Warnings: None really Word Count: 2,510 Summary: She has always been in love with Toronto; she just didn't know why yet.

Enjoy!!

- - - - - - - - -

20/05/2018

“Toronto or London?” — Jimmy asked as the last question of the fast questions round.

“Toronto” — Emily replied, without a second thought to the question. Which got the audience and all her fellow colleagues to look at her by surprise. 

“Wait a minute, weren’t you born in London? What makes you choose Toronto?”

“Honestly? I just have always had a good feeling about Toronto, even though I never really got spend that much time there, I hope that at some point once I have a break I manage to go touring on that city.” — She replied, with an honest response. The truth is that she always had a good feeling when she was around Toronto, she just didn’t know why. - - -

12/06/2018

“Shawn, someone told me you wanted to tryout for a few acting gigs, and that Harry has been pushing you to do it?” — Shawn laughed at the question while nodding his head confirming the information. — “So my question to you is, if you had to work with any actor/actress who would it be?” 

“Oh wow, that’s a difficult one Jimmy, but I think I would have to say Emily Wilson, I just really love everything she does, like it would be such an honour. I am a huge fan! Honestly even meeting her would be a huge honour” 

“Well I was told she loves Toronto! So maybe it won’t be that hard to find her roaming around the city, you could just ask her on a date you know?” — Jimmy joked.

“I don’t think I would ever even dare to do that!” — Shawn answered, his face definitely a bit flustered.

“Well, but moving on to business Shawn, talk to us about your new album!”

30/09/2019

“So, Emily lets talk about your new film, you are now shooting in Toronto, right?” 

“Yes, and it has been an amazing experience to be able to be in Toronto for 3 months now, I really love this city so much!” — She replied with a smile on her face.

“That’s so great! I hope you managed to finally go to all the places you wanted to visit around the city, did you manage to have the time to do that?” 

“Oh, I really wish! We barely stopped during the filming process because I need to run to London right after this, we are starting to shoot The Selection series with Netflix, as you all know, so I manage to visit a few places but definitely have to come back.”

“So, if you had to choose between life in Toronto or London, which one would you choose?” 

“Toronto!” — She answer without second thoughts. — “Don’t get me wrong I love London, but there is just something about here that I can’t take my head off it.” 

 - - -

10/01/2020

“Girl I just loved your work so much! I mean you know I love your acting gigs but your song, I just don’t know how you didn’t win song of the year! It was my song of the year for sure!” — Billie said as soon as she spotted Emily at the Grammy’s after party.

“Come on! You are queen here today, don’t even start! You killed it!” 

“Thank you! It means a lot coming from you! I heard you are back to filming in New York this month? Maybe we can meet up for a coffee when you are around?”

“Actually, I just finished filming yesterday, I am heading to Toronto tomorrow, and then back to London for more filming.” — Emily said a bit sad she would miss the coffee with Billie.

“No wayyyy! Wait up, I will probably head to Canada for a few days too, Justin recommend me a very nice retreat in which paps won’t find me, and I am in need of some offline days, especially after this crazy night, I feel like I can definitely go for that!” 

“That’s amazing, if you want you can come with me in the plane and we have that coffee and you can tell me more about how was this masterpiece production”

“I am in girl! Let’s go!” — Billie answered before being dragged by her brother to answer to a phone call they had just got.

- - -

11/01/2020

“Wait up! You have never talked with Shawn or Justin before? Even though you have been obsessed with Canada your entire life? How is that even possible? 

“You know I was nominated for a song for the movie I did right? I don’t actually sing B.” — Emily said laughing at her friend.

“Oh shush girl, you just won a grammy yesterday for best song for visual media, maybe you don’t want to admit but you are good in what you are doing” 

“Billie, I literally have one song out!”

“True! But still…” 

“Enough on me and my obsession with Canada, tell me more about what you have been up to! It has been so long since we had time to actually talk!” — Emily answered, eager to know more about her friend.

- - -

12/01/2020

“Shawn there is an invitation for you to go to this interview tomorrow with Emily Wilson, I know it is last minute but if you want to do it, we can do it.” — Andrew said over the phone.

“Wait, what? Really? Of course I want to do it, should probably talk to Camilla first about it, but yes.” — He said, immediately texting his girlfriend about the interview as he knew she could become a bit insecure with Shawn going to an interview with his celebrity crush. But her response came out being super supportive which made Shawn at ease about going.

- - -

13/01/2020

“Hello you guys, I was told you had never met! And honestly I didn’t believe it!” — The interviewer at the radio said making Shawn and Emily smile at each other before answering.

“I honestly just never spent enough time here to get to meet new people, I am always hanging out with the crew and it just never happened, but it is an honour to finally meet you Shawn!” — Emily said with a smile.

“No, please the honour is all mine! I just really cannot believe this is happening right now and I am not sure I know exactly how to properly behave, I am like your number 1 fan!” — He said, totally fingerling over her and making her giggle. 

“Normally Emily comes over to talk about acting, but today we will talk about song writing, and her process on writing and recording her song for a Disney movie! How did that happen?” 

“Well Kate, I don’t even know myself if I am being honest, I knew I would have to sing, but when Julia contacted me asking if I wanted to help with writing it took me a lot by surprise, it was the first time I ever wrote a song in my life, so I definitely was not expecting the response we got, honestly I really believe it was all Julia’s magic and I ended up being there with her by a struck of luck or something” — She answered.

“What do you think of the song Shawn? And how it is writing for you?”

“What do I think of her song? I wrote with Julia a few weeks after they finished recording and Julia couldn’t shut up about you and how you brought all the sparkles into the song, and I really think it is an amazing vulnerable song and that you really should give yourself some more credit, I really love it. And about writing, for me this song is an example of what I am trying to do every day, really just pouring my soul into it and making feelings into words.” — He answered making her blush a little. 

“Thank you Shawn, we don’t have a lot of time today unfortunately, so we chose one question from fans for you to answer: If you had to choose between writing in London or anywhere else in the world where would you choose to go?” 

“I really like recoding in LA, but London is on my top 5 places too.” — Shawn answered and waited for Emily.

“Toronto, 100%! If there is one place I feel the most comfortable being in such a vulnerable state is Toronto for sure.”

“Time is up, guys thank you so much! I hope I get to see more of you around Toronto Emily, and Shawn let’s please meet up soon! I will see you again tomorrow to talk about the process of filming Game of Thrones with Emilia Clarke!” 

As they left the recording room, Shawn finally had the chance to compliment Emily properly.

“I really really love your work so much, you have no idea! — He said in an exited way which made her smile. — Can I hug you? — He asked and she immediately nodded and was engulfed in his hug. She really had a strange sensation when they were hugging, it was the same sensation she felt whenever she would arrive in Toronto, it felt like home. “Is it too much if I ask for an autograph too?” — He asked, making her laugh.

“Of course, here you go.” She signed on his notebook.

They talked for over an hour after the interview, and he also left her his number for whenever she was around if she needed company to tour on his city. She knew he had a girlfriend but at the same time she couldn’t help but to wonder which is also why she promised herself to never text him.

- - -

15/08/2021

“Our final question of the night” — Elen said with a pout and the audience also made a sound of protest. “I know, I know you love her, I love her too!” — She said taking Emily laugh

“And I love you all of course” — She said seeing a kiss to the audience.

“If you had to make a song duet, and I mean a real one, not one with me for this show. Who would you like to sing with?” 

“Shawn Mendes” — She said, very fast and without thinking too much.

“Oh wow, that was fast, is there something going on that we don’t know about? You definitely do make a lot of visits to Toronto.” — Elen said, leaving it open to her to interpret it.

“I just really like the way his voice sounds” — She said, bluish a little when she noticed how her response sounded. — “ And of course if we record in Toronto even better”

“Smooth Emily, I guess we all will have to let that slide since our time is up for today”.

- - - 

19/10/2021

“So Shawn” — Elen Paused —“Do you watch my show?”

“Whenever I can, I do.” 

“A few months ago we had an interview with Emily Wilson, and apparently she really likes your voice” — She said making him blush because he had no idea what she was talking about.

“I am not exactly sure what you are talking about Elen” — He answered, not wanting to mess things up with his favourite star.

“Here is Emily on this show, and what she said” — Elen replayed the clip, and Shawn immediately felt his blushing. “Adorable right?” — She said making him close his eyes for a second and smile timidly.

“I really like the way her voice sounds too, not only in music but also everything she has even acted on, she is perfect in everything she does” — He answered and bit his lip softly at the end, still embarrassed by the situation.

Later that night he was surprised when his phone received a text from Emily, as he hadn’t really talked to her in over a year.

Emily: I will be in Toronto next week, if you are around and want to meet for a coffee maybe?

Shawn: Text me your hotel once you have it and I will pick you up and show you around the city if you want a proper tour.

- - -

25/10/2021

“Connor I am sincerely nervous for this. — Shawn said for the 100th time that day.

“It will be fine, honestly I can’t believe it took you guys so long to actually go on a date!” 

“What do you mean, Man I did have a girlfriend before remember?”

“Shawn, we both know your relationship with Mila started for the wrong reasons, and honestly the possibility of it evolving was very slim.” — He said referring to the publicity stunt they had agreed and that later evolved into a relationship. — “You love her, but only as a friend, whereas you have been fungirling over Emi for years, even before Camila.” 

“I am not sure if you saying that helps a lot to soothe my nerves at all” — He said adjusting the collar of his shirt and deciding it was time to leave.

- - -

05/04/2022

“Okay, so since you are here, and we are being honest with each other, I though we might as well go for Spill your Guts or Fill your Guts!” — James said being filled by a round of a applauses. — “Everything in here is vegetarian, so you can eat everything, or nothing if you decide to answer the questions.”.

“Oh God, this does not look good at all, but yeah, I am ready, ask me”. 

“We are nearing the finale of your series with Netflix, are there any spin-offs of the series being prepared for later? Or is that the last of The Selection we will see? — He asked making her close her eyes.

“Come on James, that is really not fair, I can’t answer this.” — She said trying to sound a bit mad, but laughing at the end.

“That’s all right, you can always go for the onion and garlic tea.” — He said, and she took a sip making a lot of effort to not throw up in the process.

“My turn, James, is there any celebrity who you refused to invite to your show before?” — She read her question and smiled at him.

“She really knows what she is doing you guys, nop I guess olive pudding for me it is” — He said looking a bite of the disgusting looking olive pudding.

“Emily, some photos have been circling around the internet, and I we are all wondering if they are real, so I would like to read Shawn’s last 3 messages to you” — He said making her blush, they still hadn’t officially confirmed nor denied anything, but their photos of the grammy’s were all over the internet already so there was really no hiding to do anymore.

“Okay, I guess you can do that” — She said after verifying the messages quickly.

“Oh wow! I was not expecting that you guys! I really wasn’t, okay so let’s do this:

Hi Emi, I really really miss you. I hope James is not too mean to you, Love. Good luck, I love you, and see you later.

“Awww… you guys are melting our hearts right now.” — He said taking her phone close to his heart. — “IT’S REAL EVERYONE!” 

[lostinthewoodsomewhere]

Time Breaker Returns (Teleplay by Alan Wake) ( words) by Lost_in_the_Woods_Somewhere Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Control (Video Game), Alan Wake (Video Games) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Jesse Faden/Emily Pope, Jesse Faden & Shawn/The Actor, Warlin Door & Shawn/The Actor Characters: Shawn/The Actor (Night Springs), Jesse Faden, Warlin Door, Alan Wake, Emily Pope, Barry Wheeler, Dylan Faden, Tim Breaker (Alan Wake) Additional Tags: Game: Alan Wake II - Night Springs DLC, night springs spoilers, Time Breaker - Freeform, Time Breaker Spoilers, Post-Alan Wake II: The Final Draft, More characters to be added, references to the other fic in this series but you should be okay without it :) Series: Part 2 of Tales from the Oceanview Motel and Casino Summary: "Oceanview Motel, I love you, you know I do, but we need to have a serious talk about who you let in after this is through"   When a simple trip through the Oceanview Motel and Casino takes a turn for the worst, Jesse finds herself playing a role she never auditioned for, following a script the writer doesn’t remember writing…

Hello, and welcome to the beginning of what was supposed to be another Jesse in the Oceanview Motel one-shot, but turned in to my first attempt at a multi-chapter fic!! I don't know all the details yet, but I'm excited for the ideas I do have!!

[userlaylivia]

for soap watchers!!

I still forgot some so there'll be a third part lol and don't give me crap about thope and lope being here or phick I've shipped them since day one and until recently I didn't ship thope only the last year or so and I've been a lope shipper from day one!!

@maya-matlin, @narcobarbies, @terrilynn88

[wild-fleurs]

Help I can’t find a fanvid edit I think I saw on here but the problem is I have no idea what it was for

Just that the song was It’s Alright by Mother Mother

I think it might have been Criminal Minds cast maybe with a Jemily focus? but also might have been NCIS Hawaii because I love the Ohana & could have found it through the Kacy tag

Somehow less likely but could have been law & order SVU (I love Calex there’s not enough videos of/featuring them so send links please)

Or it also could have been Lost Sawyer/Juliet or even Psych bc I’ve been poking around the Shawn x Gus tag (seriously they’re the couple of that show to me)

Worse it could be multifandom or a show I don’t even watch but just like watching random edits sometimes or even more worse it could have not been on tumblr at all but somewhere else

All I remember is I went damn that’s good & then went I think I know that song & Shazamed it lol

Basically I have no real clues for anybody to go on but if anybody knows what I’m talking about or knows a good fanvid edit to It’s Alright by Mother Mother send it my way & we’ll see

[awnfox]

don't forget to ship crossover ships!!

bonus points if they're two fandoms that mesh well but never canonically interconnect.

even more bonus points if they're two fandoms that do not mesh and you have to flip one character upside down and sideways and then squint at them to make them fit into the other one's universe.

the possibilities are literally endless!!!

people need to have more fun with shipping again. have an otp. support multiple ships. enjoy the Big ship of the fandom. indulge in a rare pair. make a crack ship for shits n giggles and end up really into it. ship oc x canon. hell, ship an oc with your friend's oc. make a polycule of your favorite characters. have fun with it!!!!!

[pathologicalreid]

hysteria | s.r.

in which the BAU is called into a case in rural Appalachia when bodies start showing up in an abandoned insane asylum

margotober masterlist

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: angst (horror?) content warnings: hanging (staged suicide), enucleation, established relationship, ghosts, insane asylum, rope burn, premonition in dreams, death, pov switches, "the green ribbon", lobotomies, abduction, corporeal vs spirit form, CPR, hospitals, painkillers, first aid word count: 8.8k a/n: hey guys i am literally not one to beg for interaction but like if you could send an ask or gimme a reblog if you liked this it would probably make my day. this fic is just an excuse for me to tell ghost stories! and just like that, margotober is over. man, it sure would be a shame if i had something planned for november!

night one

“This is a joke, right?” You asked, eyeing the rest of the team as they observed the property before you. The dilapidated building that stood in front of you was previously completely abandoned, and now you weren’t entirely sure if the yellow police line was new or if the tattered plastic was a result of a crime of the past.

It looked like one of the haunted houses that Spencer would drag you to, one with a much too high budget that would leave you feeling like you needed to scrub cobwebs from your skin. You were waiting for the sheriff to make his way up the hill that the asylum was perched on, the BAU had made it up in SUVs, but the locals elected to hoof it.

Tugging the sleeves of your FBI jacket over your hands, you tapped your heel impatiently and observed the scenery. The fall foliage was in peak season, orange and red leaves fluttered in the wind, falling from the trees until they hit the ground. To the left was the town, small and hidden within a river valley, and to the right was a field of gravestones. Each life lost in the asylum whittled down to a number, hundreds of weathered rocks marked where a body was buried. Even after all of your years with the BAU, the sight still made you sick to your stomach.

The death count on this property had gone up by twelve recently, a group of college kids had found the first body hanging from the staircase, and it seemed like a semi-routine suicide until the local cops did a full sweep of the building and found eleven other bodies, each hanging in a different room.

It wasn’t until the medical examiner looked at them that they realized they were out of their depth, the oldest of the bodies had been dead before they were hung, which told you that hanging the bodies was the intention of the killer and he was beginning to perfect his M.O. Even more than that, the last two bodies had been enucleated post-mortem.

Being grateful for the method by which a person had their eyeballs destroyed wasn’t an emotion you felt frequently, and it was an odd thing to admit to yourself as you consciously blinked.

Over the curve of the hill, you watched as a couple of locals made their appearance, each of them equipped with a flashlight. The sun was beginning to set. Emily had made the executive decision that this case couldn’t wait until morning, so you took off in the middle of the day. Glancing over your shoulder, you found Spencer’s eyes and he gave you one of his patented half-smiles before you looked back at the foreboding building.

The structure had electrical issues, leading to lights flickering all over the crumbling brick walls. The flashes were starting to play tricks on your eyes because you would’ve sworn that you saw a woman in one of the windows, in a long white dress as she looked down at you and your team.

“You must be the BAU,” the sheriff greeted once he was close enough to your group, he waved before huffing impatiently. “Sheriff Shawn Greenbaum, this here is Deputy Conrad Perkins,” he introduced himself and the man with him. You studied them, trying to gauge information about them based on appearance alone.

Emily nodded, reaching her hand out for him to shake and introducing herself before making the rounds with the rest of the team. “Agents Simmons and Lewis are already at the station getting settled, but the rest of us are interested in getting in the building and taking a look around.”

Greenbaum placed both of his hands on his hips before clearing his throat, “That’s not a problem at all. We’ve got a lock up on those front doors to try and keep people out, we’re hoping it’ll put a halt on any more crime.”

Kicking mud off of your boot, you and JJ shared a dubious look. In your line of work, where there’s a will there’s a way—a padlock would do very little to help keep your killer out of the asylum. Even so, you all followed the sheriff as he produced a key from his belt, leading the way to the front doors. They were made of rotting wood. If someone really wanted to get past the lock, they could probably kick them in.

The smell hit you before you stepped foot inside the building, the stench of mildew wafting through the air made you crinkle your nose as you closely followed JJ into the building. A gentle touch to the small of your back told you that Spencer was behind you, each of you shuffling in single file behind the sheriff.

“The first body was found hanging over there,” the deputy, Perkins pointed straight ahead toward the winding staircase. You studied the peeling wallpaper and looked at the faded signs above the different hallways, barely able to make out the words tuberculosis and adolescent as you strolled through the main lobby.

Since they’d initially assumed it was a suicide, the body had been taken down, so even though you had twelve bodies to start your profile with, you didn’t have a fresh crime scene anywhere. In fact, you’d wager a guess and say there’s nothing fresh about this building.

Cringing as you walked over a pile of wet paper, you listened to Emily as she gave everyone jobs, “Reid and I will keep talking to the sheriff, Rossi and JJ, why don’t the two of you check out this wing here with the deputy, and Luke and Y/N can take the upstairs.”

You looked up and found Luke, following him to the staircase and ducking under the noose to go up the stairs, hesitant to use the handrail as you made your way to the second floor, knowing there was plenty of building for the two of you to explore. Pulling your flashlight from your belt for additional lighting, the sight in front of you was worse than what you had seen downstairs. “Watch your step,” you said absentmindedly, bypassing a bucket filled with what you sincerely hoped was water.

“When was this place built again?” Luke asked you, knowing you had done preliminary research with Spencer on the jet. He produced his own light, slipping his cell phone from his pocket and using the flashlight function.

You checked the ceiling, wondering where the beams were and if any bodies had been found in the hallways, “The 1860s,” you responded, keeping your voice soft so you didn’t disturb anything in the building—living or otherwise. You found yourself wanting to walk to the window you had seen that woman in earlier.

Alvez made a disgusted noise at something, and you refrained from looking back at it, knowing you likely didn’t want to know. “And what patients did they predominantly treat?”

Fiddling with the door handle, you nudged the door open with your knee, coughing at the puff of dust that met you on the other side. “They started with a little bit of everything. The elderly, children, adolescents, epileptics, TB patients,” you listed off. “We even found records of people accused of ‘excessive self-satisfaction,’” you continued, finding the window in question. The only thing you found was the same flickering sconce you had seen from the outside.

“Self-satisfaction?” Luke repeated the phrase curiously.

You tapped the sconce with the end of your flashlight, getting it to stop flickering before you clarified, “Masturbation.”

Expectedly, Luke chuckled lightly at your answer, “How exactly would one quantify excessive masturbation?”

Raising your eyebrows, you studied a strange mark on the cement floor, “I assure you; I have no clue.” You turned around, expecting to see Luke right in front of you. “Luke?” You called out his name, confused when you didn’t see him in your line of sight, you flashed your light around the room, wondering if he had found something. “Ah!” You yelped when a hand touched your shoulder, causing you to drop your flashlight.

Luke cackled from his place behind a bookshelf, “It’s gonna be a long case if you’re that tightly wound the entire time.”

You swatted at him with the sleeves of your jacket, “Asshole,” you muttered, taking the practical joke mostly in stride.

“Y/N?” Spencer called from the first floor. Your voice must have carried down the stairs, or they heard the flashlight fall to the ground.

Glaring at Luke, you shouted back, “I’m fine!” You crouched to pick up your flashlight, blowing dust off of it before you tightened your grip around it, “Grow up, Alvez.”

He rolled his eyes, “Yeah, yeah, so what did they do after they took in a little bit of everyone?”

You hummed, stepping back out into the hallway, and looking into what you assumed were offices—most of the patients would’ve lived on the first floor. “They started to focus on patients with mental disorders in the 1970s. Around the same time that medicine in psychiatry started to make advancements,” you kicked at a piece of cloth on the ground. “It closed down in the early nineties when people finally started acknowledging that things like lobotomies and electroshock are inhumane.”

Luke picked the next room, wiggling the doorknob before he used his shoulder to push the door open, “Woah.”

Stepping in behind him, you saw what he was looking at. Along the wall was a mural of sorts, a landscape that featured a caricature of the sun. Next to it, the words ‘let the sun shine in’ were scrawled in black paint.The colors were eerily vibrant for the age of the building, “Well that’s…” You let your voice trail off, looking at the size of the furniture in the room and ascertaining that it was likely designed as a treatment space for children.

“Do you hear that?” Luke asked, shining his flashlight around the room and looking for the source of the noise.

Fortunately, you weren’t that gullible, “Yeah, right.” You scoffed, turning back and seeing Spencer at the top of the staircase, “Hey,” you said, tilting your head to the side curiously.

He smiled at you softly, “Hey, it looks like it’s about to rain, so Emily’s having all of us head back to the precinct. We can look at the M.E. reports knowing what we know now about the crime scene.”

You nodded, looking into the room to find Luke, still shining his phone in every corner, “Luke, it’s probably just a rat or a tree branch tapping on the side of the building.”

Luke’s eyebrows were pinched together in concern, but he followed your footsteps into the hallway, falling to the back of the group as the three of you walked downstairs, meeting the rest of the team in front of the asylum.

“It’s kind of weird,” you said mostly to yourself, though you were entirely aware of the people who were surrounding you.

Spencer hummed curiously, making sure the sheriff wasn’t watching before he adjusted the collar of your jacket, “What’s weird?” He asked, mimicking the soft tone of your voice.

You looked back at the window where the light had started flickering again, “How all of these people were forced into the asylum by their loved ones, and now the word has an entirely different meaning.”

Holding your mug in both hands, you listened carefully to the crackling fire in the lobby of the hotel. Matt stood up from where he was sitting so that Spencer could sit next to you, and you absentmindedly slung your legs over his lap, thinking about the case. More specifically, you were thinking about the scene.

Spencer set a hand on your pajama-covered thigh, using his other hand to hold his book open as you listened to the other noises in the lobby. There was a storm going on outside, and a certain level of unease blanketed the team, leading to a convening in the hotel. Emily and Tara were going over case files, Matt and JJ were on the phone with their families, Rossi was playing Tetris on his phone, Luke was on the phone with someone, and you were just observing.

Eventually, Luke spoke up to everyone, “Hey guys, listen to this,” he said, holding his phone out and clicking the speakerphone button, “Okay, go ahead Garcia.”

Your eyebrows raised in amusement at the revelation that he was on the phone with Penelope, but you were still grateful to hear her voice coming through the speaker.

“I hope you’re all cozy by the fire because I have found a story about your crime scene that will chill you to your bones,” she prefaced, and you smiled slightly at her embellishments. “Catherine Pence was admitted to the Barnham Asylum for the Mentally Ill in 1978 at the age of 53. She lived a totally normal and insignificant life until she was 50 years old and her mother passed away, at which point, the people in Catherine’s life said she started to behave strangely.”

Snapping his book closed, Spencer set the novel in your lap before pushing his glasses up on the bridge of his nose, “Strangely, how?”

Penelope cleared her throat, “I’m glad you asked, Dr. Reid. She was convinced that her mother was still with her. In fact, she would frequently be confused when other people told her that they couldn’t see her mom. Eventually, she started showing other concerning symptoms, so her husband brought her to Barnham.”

You frowned, sharing a glance with JJ, who had hung up the phone, “What kinds of other symptoms?”

“The file I got my hands on specifically cites paranoid thoughts, but that’s not even the spookiest part,” she continued. “When the doctors did their first examination of Catherine, they decided that whatever she was dealing with wouldn’t be amenable to any sort of treatment. She was a very calm patient who periodically had conversations with her dead mother and voiced paranoid thoughts, but they put her in Block D.”

Block D was the section of the hospital set aside for patients in need of around-the-clock care, which seemed a bit extreme for Catherine.

There was a clicking on Penelope’s end of the call before she resumed, “Anyway, Block D had sixteen rooms and there was always some form of supervision, usually a nurse. All of the doors were locked and there were bars on the window, so it was impossible to get anywhere without someone noticing, or so you would think.”

You settled further into the couch cushions, and Spencer instinctively squeezed your thigh.

“On December 1st, 1978, when the nurse went into Catherine’s room with her breakfast tray, she found the room in absolute tatters. I mean, the bedding was shredded, there was broken glass, everything was scattered around the room, and Catherine was missing.” Penelope said, emphasizing the last word.

Luke, who had previously seemed bored by the story, leaned forward, setting his elbows on his knees, “What happened to her?”

Penelope hummed, knowing she had sucked everyone into the story, “The search started immediately. You don’t just have someone escape an inescapable room and move on with your day. The windows, walls, and floor in Block D were completely intact and there was no sign of tampering with the door. No one could figure out how she got out, much less where she was.”

She didn’t wait for anyone to speak before she continued, “Catherine’s nurse said that she was unusually moody and had been for weeks. She completely stopped speaking and showed no reactions when people spoke to her and it was apparently very sudden, but that didn’t really provide any insight into where she could be. The staff searched the surrounding area thoroughly, but there were no leads. Eventually, they notified her relatives and the residents of the town in case she had somehow gotten out of the hospital.”

Then, on January 12th, 1979, a group of men that the asylum hired to do repair work on the second floor found that there was a door locked from the inside.” Garcia cleared her throat before resuming the story, “They also discovered an unpleasant smell emanating from the room, and when they finally got into the room, there was Catherine Pence.”

You wrinkled your nose in disgust, simply just imagining the smell of the room.

“Her clothes were removed and neatly folded next to her and her arms were crossed over her chest, one below the other,” Penelope continued. “Mysteriously, when her body was removed and taken to the morgue, there was a trace left on the concrete floor that corresponded exactly to the figure of Catherine. No matter how many times or what they’ve tried, they can’t get the mark out of the concrete.”

Your blood ran cold at the memory of the strange shape you’d seen in the asylum, “What?”

Penelope hummed, “The medical examiner considered hypothermia as a potential cause of death, but apparently that winter was unseasonably warm, so he settled on a heart attack.”

“Did they ever consider homicide?” Rossi asked, attempting to seem uninterested.

There was a chuckle on the other end of the call, “Yes, they did, but they never found anything else to support that theory. At that point, the room Catherine was found in hadn’t been opened since 1976 when it was used to contain patients with a contagious infectious disease. Since then, the room remained locked.” You could practically hear Penelope’s smile as she divulged the final detail, “Residents of the town say that, sometimes, you can hear cries for help coming from the building. There are even reports of Catherine’s ghost being seen in the window of the room where she died, she just stands there and stares out the window.”

Everyone sat around in silence for a moment before Luke grabbed the phone off of the coffee table, “Yeah, alright, thanks, Garcia.”

“Sleep well, my pretties,” she crooned through the phone before the call ended.

You felt heavy as if there had been a weight placed on your chest, and in an attempt to rectify it, you handed Spencer his book, “I’m headed to bed.”

He looked up at you curiously, eyes studying yours before he nodded, “Alright, I’ll be up in a little while,” he assured you.

Your body carried you to the hotel room, using the key to unlock the door and somehow making it to the bed even after your mind had completely turned itself off. You didn’t remember falling asleep, but you remembered waking up.

As you sat up in bed, you were having trouble holding your head up, finding that you couldn’t turn your neck to see if Spencer had made it to bed. More than that, the room was pitch black when the two of you usually leave the bathroom light on in hotels. Opening your mouth, no words came out.

Small puffs of air escaped your lips, but nothing else came out. You couldn’t move your hands to your neck—you couldn’t move at all. You wanted to call out for Spencer, and even though no sound came out of your mouth, you saw him before you.

Your eyes widened at his sudden appearance, suspiciously illuminated in the otherwise dark room.

Tantalizingly slowly, his hand reached out for you, touching the skin of your neck with his fingertips before pulling. It felt like he was pulling at a thread, and all you could do was watch as his hand came back with a piece of twine pinched between his fingers and your disembodied head fell to the floor.

You gasped for air, holding your hand to your chest and panting, unable to figure out how to get air into your lungs when you so desperately needed it. There were other hands on you, gently placed on your hip and upper back, the latter rubbing small circles as you choked on nothing but air.

“Hey,” Spencer whispered, continuing his ministrations on your back. “It’s okay, I’ve got you,” he comforted you, trying to get you to even out your breathing.

Carefully, his hand reached up to your neck, sweeping hair behind your shoulder, but as soon as you felt his hand on the side of your neck, you flinched away from him, nearly toppling off of the double bed.

He pulled you back as gently as he could, “Y/N,” he said, his voice stern this time as he turned to flick the lamp on. “What happened?”

You shook your head, appreciating how secure it felt to the rest of your body, before pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes. “It was just a nightmare,” you answered, the sound of your own voice felt disconnected from your body.

“You don’t usually call out my name in your nightmares,” Spencer observed softly, trying to get you to open up more to him, “And you’ve definitely never pulled away from me like that.”

He was right, you had your general recurring nightmares—mostly work related—but you’ve never had anything like this before. You didn’t know how to explain it to him, because how would you explain to your rational, genius boyfriend that you thought you were seeing ghosts?

night two

You felt his eyes on you, Spencer’s big, brown eyes were boring right into yours as you looked at the foreboding structure in front of you. You weren’t even sure how long you’d been watching the stained-glass window, waiting for something to happen, waiting for the ghost to come back.

Sighing, you leaned back in the passenger seat of the car, thinking about the now-cold coffee that you had sitting in the cup holder and wondering if it would be worth the caffeine if it meant you had to pee in the woods at some point in the night.

“You should’ve stayed at the hotel tonight,” Spencer said, his eyes still focused on you.

You pursed your lips, watching the light flicker in the window, “We have a job to do.” That should’ve been enough for him, it had to be enough for you, knowing that at the end of the day, this was just a case and you’d be going home once you found whoever was doing this.

Finally turning his head, Spencer huffed in frustration as he faced the front door of the asylum. “I know you didn’t get back to sleep last night, so you have to be exhausted now,” he told you.

It was nearly midnight now, and you indeed hadn’t gone back to sleep after waking up at two in the morning, but you still agreed to a stakeout when Emily suggested it. Spencer called you out on it then, similarly to what he was doing now, and you were sure he had something to do with you being paired up together. If you ever found out he had voiced a concern about you to Emily, you were going to have issues.

The cool glow of the waning gibbous moon reflected off of the building, the effect only building the eerie feeling in your stomach, winding itself up like a ball of yarn.

With the morning came another body, and it became clear to Emily and the locals that the camera surveillance that had been set up along the perimeter wasn’t doing anything to bring you closer to closing the case. So, she had you and Spencer sitting in a car at the front entrance, each of you armed and on high alert, no matter what your boyfriend thought.

On the other side of the building, Luke and Tara were in another vehicle, keeping an eye on a back entrance that had the potential to be an access point for the UnSub.

Keeping an eye on your window, you squinted as if you could somehow summon Catherine Pence’s ghost. You wished you’d been paired up with Luke again, who at least had seen the mark on the floor, but instead, you had Spencer, who had meddled with your work out of concern for you.

You sighed, reminding yourself that he only did it out of concern for you, wondering how to approach the issue when an all-too-familiar figure appeared in that second-floor window, “Do you see that?” You blurted the question before you could even think about what you were saying.

Instinctively, Spencer placed a hand on his weapon while looking through the windshield of the car, “See what?”

You furrowed your brows, pointing as plainly as you possibly could to the second-floor window where you saw the woman, “On the second floor. Off to the right,” you said desperately, wanting him to see it, wanting him to believe you. “Don’t you see her?”

Spencer’s hand dropped as his gaze went from the building and back to you, “Honey.” You tried to ignore the emotion-filled tone that he gave you, flooding the pet name with an apt amount of concern.

Sitting back in the car seat, “Never mind, I didn’t—” you cut yourself off, “I just thought I saw something.” You tried to play it off, crossing your ankles one over the other and shifting in the seat, trying to keep your ass from going numb.

His eyes were still trained on you, and you tried to ignore him even as he locked the passenger door from the inside. The car remained absolutely silent until you heard a voice come in from the radio, “This is the Death Star calling for the Bat Mobile, over.”

You rolled your eyes at the sound of Luke’s voice, “Don’t call this car the Bat Mobile,” you told Spencer as he lifted the radio to his mouth.

“This is the Bat Mobile, we can hear you loud and clear Death Star, over,” Spencer responded, grinning at the way you groaned in response. The poltergeist of it all nearly forgotten for just a moment.

Placing your head in your hands in frustration as you waited for Luke’s response, Spencer reached over and smoothed your hair back, the gesture feeling oddly domestic for a stakeout. Maybe that was why Emily never paired the two of you together. “Yeah, we aren’t seeing anything out here, are you clear on your end?”

Spencer’s ministrations on your hair faltered for just a moment before he answered, “No, we haven’t seen anything.”

“Tara just got off the phone with Emily, they got the lab results back on those tools we found by the latest victim,” he informed you, “The blood on it was a match.”

You pressed your lips together in a thin line and shared a look with Spencer. Part of you was grateful to finally feel like you’d made some semblance of progress with the case, but the other part of you felt physically ill knowing that the latest victim had been enucleated using an orbitoclast. Her eyes and sockets were pulverized by a lobotomy pick, and it almost made you feel like you needed a word stronger than sadist.

“Did the medical examiner say the injuries matched the patterns of the other two enucleated victims?” Spencer asked into the radio, holding it close to his mouth as he spoke.

There was a pause before Luke responded, “Uh, kind of.”

You frowned, “What do you mean ‘kind of?’”

Another pause, “The M.E. concluded that the wound patterns are the same on the three latest victims, but the injuries on the most recent one were inflicted antemortem,” Luke explained.

Your eyes widened as the weight of Luke’s words joined the pit in your stomach, her eyes had been pulverized while she was still alive. The M.E.’s conclusion matched the one you had proposed when you saw the blood spatter this morning. You held your breath to stop a sound of disgust from escaping your lips, but you knew Spencer saw it on your face.

“Thanks for the update,” Spencer said, turning down the volume on the radio slightly before setting it on the dashboard.

Swallowing thickly, you placed both of your hands in your lap, studying them as if you’ve never seen them before, “Have you ever gotten the feeling that a case isn’t going to end well?”

You caught him while he was about to take a sip of his coffee, his movement paused for a moment before he took a swig anyway, setting the cup in the cup holder and nodding, “Yeah,” he answered, his voice raspy before he cleared his throat, “I have.”

Running your tongue over your molars, you raised your eyebrows at him in curiosity, “What usually happens?”

Spencer sighed, going back to facing the asylum before he held his hand out for you to take, you obliged, setting your intertwined fingers on the center console. “The case usually doesn’t end well,” he admitted.

“When are you going to tell me what your nightmare was about?” Spencer asked, squeezing your hand as he made conversation, trying to keep the two of you awake through the night.

Leaning your head back, you looked through the sunroof of the car, thrilled to see the sun beginning to rise over the tiny town. “I don’t think it really matters, it was just a bad dream,” you told him, clearly aware of why it mattered.

You even knew why it mattered to him. You’d never pushed him away like that before, but as soon as his hand had gone near your neck, you’d completely lost control of your body. “Look, I know I don’t believe in dream analysis—”

“Oh,” you scoffed, cutting him off. “Yes, you do,” you corrected him, “You do this all the time, you talk about dream analysis, and you claim that you don’t believe in it but then you actually get into it, and you admit that you just don’t like what Freud has to say about it. Then you’ll list everyone who has discredited him before you tell me ‘Jung still has his merits.’”

Spencer was quiet, and you immediately regretted your interjection.

Sighing, you wished you could melt into the passenger seat of the car, “I’m sorry,” you whispered. “I don’t think that analyzing my dream right now will do any good, but I just… I’m sorry.”

He was still silent.

Chewing on the inside of your lip, you turned your body as best you could in the vehicle, “Do you believe in the afterlife?”

That got his attention. Spencer turned his head to you, concern etched into his face, “Why are you asking me this?”

You couldn’t tell him. You’d break his heart if you told him that throughout the duration of this case, you’d developed a pit in your stomach and started having dreams about dying. “In my dream, it was like… like I was paralyzed, and I couldn’t move my head. I couldn’t speak or anything and when I thought about calling for you, you appeared.” You sniffled slightly, “You reached out for my neck and your hand came back with a piece of twine, and then my head fell to the ground—completely detached from my body.”

The lack of judgment in his expression was what finally triggered the first tear to fall from your eye, but you didn’t wipe it away. Spencer moved his hand and deftly wiped at your tears with his fingertips, cupping your face in his hands, “You’re not going to die.”

“Spence,” you said, your voice strained by emotion.

He shook his head gently, “Nope, not as long as I’m around. You’re not going to die on this case.”

Your chest ached as your eyes studied his, “Okay.”

“But,” he continued, “I want you to take a step back on this one. No more volunteering for stakeouts, no wandering to the second floor of the asylum, and no listening to any more of Penelope’s ghost stories.”

Nodding, you silently agreed to his conditions, holding out your pinky and waiting for him to present his. Interlocking your small fingers, you each kissed your hands, and you took a deep breath. “What do you think we’re looking at, Spence? Is it another witch hunt?”

Names and faces of people like Leland Duncan and James Heathridge flashed in your memory, but if there was an overlap there, you haven’t seen it.

You didn’t feel like the BAU had a very good track record in Appalachia, Shane Wyland and the still unnamed ‘Mountain Man’ were proof enough of that, but you hoped that Wyland was long dead by now, and these crimes were too organized for the Mountain Man.

“I don’t know, baby,” Spencer admitted, and you knew that it hurt him to say that to you, especially now.

Looking out the window, your eyes caught on Luke and Tara as they made their way over to your car. Spencer unlocked the doors as you hurriedly wiped beneath your eyes, trying to hide any evidence of your upset before reconvening with the team.

Luke waggled his eyebrows at the two of you, “Good morning, how was your night?”

Groaning, you stretched out your neck, “Ultimately uneventful,” you told him, knowing that if anything of real interest had happened, Luke and Tara would’ve been the first people you notified.

“Prentiss asked us if we’d do a quick sweep of the inside before heading back to the precinct,” Tara said, jutting her chin in the direction of the building.

You and Spencer shared a look, but now that you were grouped within your team, you felt comfortable enough to slip your hand in his as the four of you approached the building. Squeezing his hand, your eyes flickered up to the second-story window, and seeing nothing, you stepped into the building.

The smell hit you. The strong tang of blood mixed with that of isopropyl alcohol burned at your nostrils as Tara swore at the sight in front of all of you. A body hanging from the stairwell, eyes completely destroyed, and while the body was covered in blood, the floor was completely void of any red.

“She’s cleaning up,” you observed, stepping closer to Spencer and looking at the streak marks that a rag had made on the floor.

Luke raised his eyebrows, “She?” He asked, confused about the sudden change in pronouns while Tara immediately went to call Emily.

Spencer nodded, agreeing with you as the three of you watched the body turn in the glow of the sunrise, “A man wouldn’t care about the mess he’s leaving behind.”

This revelation left you more confused than anything, you had no idea how anyone could lift that much dead weight, night after night. “Oh,” you breathed, blood draining from your face as you looked up at Spencer and Luke. “We were watching the building all night,” you reminded them. “We never saw anyone enter, but we never saw them leave.”

night three

“Alright,” Emily started, fully equipped in her Kevlar, she looked around the entryway of the asylum, “Rossi and Tara will keep an eye out front in case anyone tries to make a run for it. Reid and JJ will take the tunnels beneath the west wing, Simmons and I will take the east wing, Alvez and Sheriff Greenbaum will head north, and Y/N and Deputy Perkins will stay here in the foyer in case anyone calls for backup.”

In the dark building, Spencer gave your hand a squeeze before everyone turned on their flashlights. “Let’s end this,” Rossi said, earning a hum of agreement as everyone split off into their respective directions.

You wished Emily had done you the kindness of letting you be paired with Spencer again, but twice in the span of a single case was seemingly too much to ask for. “You ever seen something like this?” Deputy Perkins asked you, shuffling his feet across the floor.

Shaking your head, your eyes focused on where the newest body had been found that morning. The body was cleared out and the cause of death was blunt force trauma, but once the realization that the killer had been in the building the entire time settled in, the team got to work on figuring out some of the logistics.

That was when the sheriff brought up the possibility of the killer using a long-abandoned tunnel system. The town had assumed they caved in years ago, but a bit of sleuthing had revealed that there were still a select number of tunnels for her to use.

As long as I stay in the foyer, you reminded yourself, no wandering.

The stench of isopropyl alcohol still floated through the air; it had likely sept into the porous flooring that had been underneath the body. You made note of the flickering lights in the surrounding area, making sure not to get any of them mixed up as you rested a hand on your firearm.

“Did you hear that?” Deputy Perkins asked you, looking up the stairs and shining his flashlight on them, trying to see if he could find anything in the eerie abyss of darkness.

Swallowing thickly, you shook your head in response, “No,” you told him, looking to the left and right of you, wondering if one of the pairs that had been sent off was returning. You hadn’t heard anything coming from the upstairs.

He hummed, taking a step closer to the staircase and setting off alarm bells in your head, “I’m sure I heard a shuffling coming from upstairs.” The pit in your stomach reformed as he planted a foot on the staircase and waved you over, “Come on, we should check it out.”

You hesitated, “We’re supposed to be here if someone needs backup,” you reminded him, nearly pleading with him not to abandon his post.

Perkins shrugged at you before taking another step. “I’m going to check it out, and there’s safety in numbers,” he countered before ascending the steps, making it to the first landing before your feet finally moved.

“Fuck,” you muttered as you followed him up the stairs, taking careful steps so that they didn’t creak beneath you. You reached the second-floor seconds after him, but you shone your flashlight around without any sign of him, beaming the light into the familiar room, “Deputy Perkins?”

You stepped into the room, placing a hand on your firearm as you tapped on the flickering sconce again and looked behind you. Your breathing hitched at the sight of the deputy in front of you, he was crumpled to the floor, his legs folded unnaturally, and there was a lobotomy pick that went straight through his head.

Next to him stood a woman, her clothes were tattered and stained with blood, and she came at you, shoving you to the ground and leaving your gun and flashlight scattered on the hardwood. The force of the impact knocked the wind out of you, and you got yourself out from under her while she frantically searched for a missing piece of the puzzle.

She’d used her pick to take out the deputy, leaving her with nothing to gouge your eyes out. You weren’t sure if you should feel grateful as you rolled over and grabbed the closest thing you could, wrapping your fingers around your flashlight and swinging it aimlessly against your attacker.

“No!” She screamed a high-pitched, blood-curdling sound rang out as you hit her on the side with your law enforcement issue flashlight. The object slipped out of your fingers as you sat up and tried to reorient yourself with your surroundings, you couldn’t see your gun, searching for it as she flung your flashlight back at you, the edge of it catching on your forehead as you fell back.

The UnSub straddled your waist, keeping a firm hold on your throat as she held the pick to your eye, having pulled it from the deputy’s head so that she could complete her ritual, “Don’t,” you gasped, “Think—” your voice broke off as vomit rose in your throat. “Think of the mess,” you told her. “You used all the rubbing alcohol,” you reminded her, pleading with her not to take your eyes.

She was seething, very nearly foaming at the mouth above you as instead of stabbing you with the pick, she used the butt of it to crack against your skull. “You took my friends!” She raged, referring to the people that she had murdered, she was collecting them to keep her company.

“No,” you wheezed, shaking your head even through the blinding pain, “I set them free,” you challenged her, resigning yourself to an untimely demise and crying out when she sat you up.

You tried to claw at her, a weak attempt at saving your own life that received a laugh from the UnSub, an almost childlike giggle. “You can be my friend,” she offered, grabbing an already prepared rope from the floor and looping it around your neck before she slung it around an exposed beam, creating a makeshift rig and pulling on it.

Immediately, your hands flew to your neck, trying to stop the rope from suffocating you completely, and it worked for a little while before your feet lifted off of the ground.

After that, you were gone, left standing off to the side as you watched your body hang from the ceiling while the UnSub who would always remain an UnSub to you watched, cackling as she did so. She cackled up until the moment JJ put a bullet in her brain, the sudden death of your attacker leaving your body to drop to the hardwood floor, the hit softened by Spencer and Emily as they caught.

Tossing the rope to the side, Spencer laid you out on the floor and ducked his head to your chest, listening for breathing sounds. He was listening for anything, any sign of life at all.

There was nothing, so he put his hands on your corporeal form’s chest and started CPR, pushing down on your chest in steady motions.

You knelt down to him, watching tears fall from his face as JJ did her best to keep your airway open and Emily frantically radioed for an ambulance, continuously repeating that Y/N is down.

Assuming your hand would go right through him, you placed a hand on Spencer’s back, surprised to find that he was still solid to you. In a sort of daze, you watched him as he tried to save your life, repeating the same three words over and over again, “Come on, baby.” The mantra continued, tears falling onto your shirt.

You felt like you were on fire as if your body was physically burning while you watched life-saving measures be performed on yourself, “Oh, Spencer,” you whispered. “I’m so sorry,” you said to no one but yourself, knowing that he couldn’t hear you.

Looking to your side, you saw her again. The spirit form of Catherine Pence was watching you die in real-time, and you took a shuddering breath as she knelt next to you, expecting her to impart some sort of spiritual wisdom onto you.

Instead, she placed one of her ethereal hands on the back of your head and slammed both of your forms together. The entire world went dark after that, but you could still hear everything going on, searing pain ran through your entire body, from a throbbing in your ankle to an ache in your ribs to a pulsing in your head, but there was no more pressure on your chest.

“Is she…?” You heard JJ’s voice first, and as badly as you wanted to open your eyes, you just couldn’t gather the strength to do so.

There was heavy breathing and a soft weight on your shoulder, two fingers pressed into the pulse point on your wrist, “She’s breathing. She’s alive,” Spencer answered, out of breath. “Oh, my angel.”

A low groan was the only thing you could muster up.

Spencer shushed you, keeping his head on your shoulder and his fingers on your wrist, “It’s okay, don’t try to talk,” he cooed. “You’re going to be okay, the paramedics are here,” he lifted his head then. “I just want to stay with her.”

aftermath

It was far too bright for you, and the low keening sound that you expelled from your throat was the only way you could think to express that feeling. Whoever was in the room with you understood, turning the brightness down for you, earning a hum of approval from you.

“Hey,” Spencer whispered, his voice barely audible as he tried to keep his voice as low as possible.

The universe was taking pity on you, you knew it because you couldn’t feel any pain, which either meant you had finally kicked it or the hospital you were in had given you painkillers.

Your eyes felt like they were stuck together, the way that they get when you wake up from a perfect nap, and it took a surprising amount of energy to part your lips, expelling a deep breath out of your mouth. The action led to a pinching pain in your chest, causing your breathing to hitch, “Ow.”

“Sorry,” Spencer said, though you couldn’t imagine what he was apologizing for. “Can you open your eyes? How are you feeling?”

A grunt was all he received in response, the single noise begging him to slow down. Your eyes opened just slightly, looking at him through slivers as he smiled softly at you. His eyes were red and there was a box of Kleenex on the table next to him, accompanied by his phone and a cup of water.

He sighed in relief once he noticed that your eyes were opening, “Hey,” he repeated, “You look good,” he lied to you.

You rolled your eyes at him and his smile only grew, “Hi,” you croaked, your throat swollen and dry as you tried to reorient yourself. You were in a hospital, but the view outside of your window was of a city, not the tiny town that you had just been in.

Noticing your confusion, Spencer reached out to adjust your nasal cannula, “They transported you to a hospital in a city. The local hospital just didn’t have the capacity to treat you,” he explained. “I’ve been with you,” he reassured you, “The entire time.”

“I’m sorry,” you rasped, but he waved you off instantly.

Spencer grabbed the Styrofoam water cup from your bedside table and held it to you, bending the straw so that you could get some water.

Noting his silence, you tilted your head to the side, ignoring the way your brain felt like it had been scrambled, “Are you okay?”

He pursed his lips while setting the cup back down, “I just remember thinking about how I promised you that you weren’t going to die.”

The antiseptic air made you cringe, your body becoming more and more conscious as time went on, “I wandered,” you reminded him, making sure he knew that you broke your promise first.

“That wasn’t your idea,” Spencer challenged, knowing you well enough to say that without having experienced it himself. His fingers nimbly adjusted the blanket on your hospital bed, “You followed the deputy upstairs, it wasn’t your choice.”

In your current state, Spencer wouldn’t let you take any of the responsibility for what had happened in the asylum and even though you knew the answer, you asked him anyway, “Is she dead?”

Nodding softly, he took your hand in his, “She’s dead, and someday I’ll let you know her name and read the rest of the case, but today is not that day.” He skimmed his thumb over your knuckles, each of them cracked and bloodied from your fight with the UnSub.

You sighed in relief, a single tear receding into your hairline as you closed your eyes again, “How long have I been sleeping?” You asked, squinting over at your patient care whiteboard.

“Two days,” Spencer answered gently, dragging his fingers up and down your forearm, “You were tired, and your body had a lot of healing to do. It still does,” he added the last part, not wanting you to claim being healed. “Everyone’s still here, waiting for you to be discharged,” he continued, “I should message Emily, actually.”

“And Penelope,” you added, knowing she’d rather hear it directly from him than through Emily.

Spencer chuckled lightly, a sound that was as curative as any medicine you could be given, “I’m sure she’ll be waiting for us at the tarmac in Quantico.”

A small smile sprouted on your face, “She’ll be the one landing the plane,” you laughed slightly, interrupted by a fit of coughing. You placed a hand on your chest and winced, inhaling sharply before trying to breathe through the pain.

“What do you need?” He asked you carefully, setting his phone back down after sending his texts.

You shook your head, “Nothin’, just you.”

It was an action that would’ve previously earned a few stares from the team, and at least one wolf whistle from Luke, you and Spencer slipping into the galley together and closing the curtain behind you. Now it was simply the easiest place for you to get some semblance of privacy as Spencer snipped at the old bandaged around your neck.

Your hair was secured atop your head, keeping it out of the ointment as Spencer used his fingertips to carefully cover the rope burn that had been left around your neck. “Does it hurt?” He asked, eyes focused on his canvas while coating the hollow of your throat.

Shaking your head minutely, you closed your eyes, “No,” you told him, a slight rasp still peeking through your tone.

He hummed in response, giving you a small smile as he went back to the tube, putting more ointment on his fingers, “Liar.”

Opening your eyes again, you looked up at him as your face warmed, “Only a little bit,” you altered your answer. At this point, the worst part about the burn was that the nurses recommended keeping it covered, and Spencer was taking his job as caretaker very seriously.

He checked his phone for something before going back to his prior actions, “I think it’s getting better,” he observed, furrowing his brows as he wiped excess ointment from his fingers.

You took his word for it, having been avoiding looking in a mirror at all costs. Seeing the bruises all over your body was more than enough for you. You flinched when someone else slipped into your oasis, Emily shut the curtain behind her, holding out a pack of non-adhesive Telfa pads for Spencer to use on your neck.

“Hey,” you said nervously, wondering if she had another purpose or if she was simply bringing you some first-aid.

Emily smiled nervously; her eyes studied the marks on your throat as Spencer covered them. You expected her to speak, but she just watched in complete silence.

Raising your eyebrows, you looked from her to Spencer, and back to her again. “You should see the other guy,” you joked, earning the slightest smile from the both of them.

“I just wanted to let you know that however much time you decide to take off, it’s yours,” she offered to you, watching as Spencer unwrapped another packet of gauze.

You hummed, “I’m really alright, Em,” you assured her, more than comfortable with the automatic six weeks that you were granted by the bureau. It was the standard set for all agents unless there was an extenuating circumstance that prevented them from returning to work.

Emily’s nervous smile returned, “It wasn’t a suggestion,” she informed you, letting you know that she was more or less forcing you to take the extended time off.

Peering at your boyfriend, you frowned, “You put her up to this.”

Spencer shook his head, “I didn’t. Stop moving so much,” he urged you, trying to stretch the number of Telfa pads he had before he had the chance to go to a pharmacy.

“He didn’t,” Emily iterated, “But he could’ve, and I still wouldn’t tell you,” she added. “We’ll talk more—both of you. For now, I don’t want to see you around the BAU for a while.”

You sighed when she left the galley, Spencer finished his last placement before stepping back. “How do I look?” You asked him, keeping your question mostly rhetorical.

His smile was so gentle that it cracked at your resolve, “Good.”

Looking up at him doubtfully, you leaned against the counter, “You’re a really bad liar.”

“Hey,” he said, carefully wrapping his arms around you and letting you rest the unmarred side of your head on his chest, “You look alive, and that’s good enough for me.”

[ruewrote]

𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑛.

PAIRING: josh washington x fem!reader WARNINGS: jealousy, arguments, no use of y/n GENRE: angst, enemies to lovers SONG INSPIRATION: treat you better by shawn mendes WORD COUNT: 4.6k REQUESTED: yes

navigation | ask | josh washington masterlist

you weren’t exactly sure how you ended up in this mess. two guys, one you were trying to like and one you couldn’t help but like, bickering over the dumbest things. their voices faded into the background as you stared out the frost lined window, watching the snowfall in thick, silent sheets.

it was your favourite time of year, your annual invitation to the washington lodge. hannah and beth always made you feel like family, holding a special place for you in their hearts ever since you’d befriended them in school. the first time they brought you to their mountain retreat, you were floored.

you still remembered wandering through the massive house with wide eyes, marveling at how luxurious it was. you had an idea that they were rich when they asked you to come with them to a cabin lodge of all places, but damn.

there was an embarrassing amount of times where you’d gotten turned around in the sprawling halls, having to call them in embarrassment to come find you. they used to laugh so hard at your awe struck reaction.

years had passed since then, and you’d grown more comfortable with the place. it almost felt like a second home now, complete with a guest room they’d decorated just for you. “so it feels like yours,” they’d said, insisting it was only fair since you spent so much time there.

but this year was different. this year, you’d brought someone with you. derek.

when the invitation arrived, you’d asked if you could bring him along without much thought. it had been a few months, and things with him were going well enough– or at least well enough to keep your mind off the one person you shouldn’t be thinking about.

at first, you thought it was a good idea. but standing in the lodge’s grand entryway, you started to regret it.

hannah and beth greeted you like always, pulling you into tight hugs, their excitement infectious. then their eyes landed on derek, and everything about their demeanor shifted.

“oh my god,” she grins wide. “who’s this cutie?”

“don’t hold out on us!” hannah added, elbowing you playfully.

jessica and emily weren’t far behind, their expressions lighting up the second they noticed derek.

“wait, wait, hold up,” jessica said, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she gave you a sly smile. “who’s this, and why didn’t we know about him sooner?”

emily crossed her arms, raising a brow. “yeah, seriously. is he single? or…?”

you tried to keep it casual as you introduced him, brushing off their teasing with a wave of your hand. derek, of course, handled it smoothly, flashing them a disarming smile.

“nice to meet you all,” he said before turning to you. “i’ll take our bags upstairs while you catch up.”

then, as if on cue, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your cheek.

the second he disappeared up the stairs, chaos erupted.

hannah and beth squealed, sam grabbed onto your arm while beth gave you a knowing look. “okay, spill. everything.”

“seriously, we need the deets,” jessica chimed in, smirking.

“or at least a timeline,” emily added, looking almost impressed.

before you could even get a word in, josh appeared, chris trailing behind him with his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets.

josh’s gaze darted toward the stairs, his brow furrowing as he pointed a thumb in the direction where derek had gone. “so.. care telling me who that was?”

chris leaned in slightly, adjusting his glasses. “yeah, do we know him, or…?”

josh’s eyes flicked to the stairs where derek had disappeared, his lips pressing into a thin line. 

"you already know who he is, josh! you’ve known about him for weeks," hannah groaned, exasperation clear in her voice.

beth stepped in quickly, her tone cheerful as she nudged josh’s arm. “please don’t start. he seems sweet. right, girls?”

they all nod enthusiastically. “totally. i mean, it’s about time you brought someone, and he’s cute. good job.” sam playfully nudges you.

“thanks,” you said, smiling at her, grateful for the distraction. but josh’s scoff pulled your attention right back to him.

“what?” you asked, folding your arms.

“nothing,” josh said, the word practically dripping with something. he leaned back against the wall, his hands shoved into his pockets. “i mean, i’m just saying it’s bold, bringing a guy you barely know to a place like this. kind of soon, don’t you think?”

jessica’s laugh chimed from behind you as she sauntered into the group, casually tossing her hair over her shoulder. “oh, come on, josh. if she brought him all the way up here, he can’t be that bad,” she said, smiling. 

josh’s jaw tightened, but he forced a smile. “oh, sure.”

you sighed, exasperated. “josh, seriously? what’s your deal?”

“my deal?” he echoed, his voice louder now, as if he couldn’t believe what you’d asked. “i don’t have a deal. just making observations.”

“uh huh,” emily said as she strolled over, crossing her arms with a teasing grin. she glanced at josh, her tone light but pointed. “let me guess, derek doesn’t quite measure up to whatever impossible standards you’ve set, huh?”

josh’s smile was thin, his tone sharp. “i’m just looking out for her. isn’t that what friends do?”

you clenched your fists at your sides, willing yourself to stay calm. “you don’t even know him, josh.”

“and you do?” josh shot back.

the words stung more than they should have, and you had to take a steadying breath before responding. “you’re unbelievable.”

beth stepped between you, raising her hands. “okay, that’s enough. let’s not ruin the weekend before it’s even started.”

“yeah,” hannah agreed, looping her arm through yours and pulling you toward the kitchen. “hot cocoa, anyone? let’s leave the drama here, please.”

you glanced back as hannah steered you away, meeting josh's gaze for a fleeting moment. his eyes were locked on you, lingering with an unspoken weight, like he was on the verge of saying something but held back. the tension between you was thick, undeniable, and the worst part? 

you weren’t sure you wanted to look away.

the next few days were nothing short of a nightmare. every moment felt like walking on eggshells, with josh finding any excuse to nitpick derek. whether it was a sly comment during dinner or a backhanded compliment when everyone was relaxing, he didn’t hold back.

derek, to his credit, didn’t let it slide. he defended himself every time, the tension between them escalating with every exchange. what started as petty jabs turned into full on arguments, and you found yourself caught in the middle, exhausted and drained.

most nights ended with you retreating to your room, shutting the door behind you,  collapsing onto the bed in frustration. the dark, quiet space became your only refuge as you rubbed your temples and tried to breathe through the stress. this wasn’t what you wanted. this wasn’t how the trip was supposed to go.

the breaking point came on the second to last day. you had spent hours trying to convince yourself to push through, but the tension was unbearable. by the evening, you made up your mind, you were done.

derek had already packed earlier that afternoon, his patience worn thin by josh’s constant jabs. you followed suit, pulling your suitcase out and beginning to fold your clothes in stiff silence. the thought of leaving early filled you with guilt, but you couldn’t stay, not like this.

when the others found out, it was pure chaos.

“are you serious?” beth said, her voice a mix of disbelief and sadness. “you’re leaving already?”

“just one more night,” hannah begged, clutching your arm. “please. it’s not the same without you.”

emily, practical but no less emotional, sighed as she crossed her arms. “i get it, but… don’t let this ruin the trip. you’ll regret it later.”

jessica leaned against the doorway, her lips pursed. “you came to reconnect, right? don’t let one person ruin that.”

their words tugged at your heart, but it didn’t change anything. not really. how could you stay with josh acting the way he was?

the worst part was the goodbyes. hugging each of them one by one, your chest tightened as tears pricked your eyes. you blinked them back, but it was no use.

“i’m sorry,” you whispered as you pulled back from hannah’s embrace. “i just… i can’t.”

“it’s not fair,” beth murmured, her own voice cracking.

“i know,” you said, barely able to meet her gaze. “i’ll make it up to you, i promise.”

when it came time to face josh, your stomach churned. he stood off to the side, hands shoved in his pockets, his face clouded with guilt. for once, he didn’t have anything snarky to say, no quip to throw out.

“you got what you wanted,” you said, your voice low, but it wasn’t enough to contain the way you were feeling. your chest ached with the weight of everything left unsaid, you couldn’t stop yourself.

“do you even realise what you’ve done?” you continued, your voice breaking as tears blurred your vision. “this was supposed to be a chance to reconnect with everyone. to have fun, to forget about everything else for a little while. but you… you made it unbearable.”

josh’s face fell, his guilt deepening as he opened his mouth to speak, but you didn’t give him the chance.

“you couldn’t just let me have this, could you?” you said, your voice rising. “you had to turn it into something miserable, and what makes it worse is that i don’t even know why. is it derek? is it me? what could i have possibly done to make you act like this?”

your words hung heavy in the air, and for a moment, josh looked like he might crumble. his hands fidgeted in his pockets, his lips parted as if he wanted to respond, but the silence dragged on.

“say something, josh!” you pleaded, the tears now streaming down your face. “anything. just tell me why you’ve been acting like this, because i can’t keep doing this. i can’t keep feeling like i’m walking into a fight every time i’m near you!”

josh took a hesitant step toward you, his brows furrowed in anguish. “i didn’t mean to ruin anything,” he said, his voice quiet and unsteady. “i just–”

“just what?” you interrupted, your voice trembling as you met his gaze. “do you even care how much this has hurt me? how hard it’s been trying to enjoy any of this while you go out of your way to make it miserable?”

he stared at you, his jaw clenching as his eyes searched yours, but he didn’t answer. the silence stung worse than anything he could’ve said, and it tore you apart.

“you know what?” you said, your voice breaking into a whisper. “forget it. i’m seriously done trying to figure you out, have a nice life, josh.”

with that, you turned and walked out of the lodge, leaving him standing there, the tension between you heavier than ever before.

after everything that went down at the lodge, breaking things off with derek was inevitable. it wasn’t dramatic or messy. if anything, it was almost too simple. the two of you mutually agreed it was for the best, leaving no lingering bitterness between you. but that didn’t stop the guilt from eating at you.

you felt terrible for dragging him up there in the first place. what had you been thinking? inviting someone you barely knew into such an intimate, emotionally charged space? you should’ve realised it was a bad idea from the start, but at the time, it had seemed like a good idea. a way to ignore the feelings you didn’t want to face.

but in the days after returning home, the weight of it all became too much. the memories of the trip. the tension, the arguments, josh’s lingering silence, played on a loop in your mind. it wasn’t just derek’s presence that had made things unravel. you couldn’t deny your own part in it.

to avoid dealing with it, you buried yourself in your school work. early mornings bled into late nights spent with your nose in textbooks, typing out assignments until your eyes blurred from exhaustion. it was easier to drown in deadlines and projects than to confront everything that stayed in the back of your mind.

your friends had noticed the change in you. they texted and called, checking in to make sure you were okay, and you answered them. most of them, anyway. you reassured them with simple responses, making excuses for why you hadn’t been in touch more. 

telling them you were just busy with school, just needed some time to yourself. but the truth was, you didn’t know what to say, and the idea of explaining everything felt like too much to deal with.

as the days went by, the silence grew. every time your phone buzzed, you had the urge to reach out. to tell the people who were closest to you what you were feeling, to spill all the frustration, guilt, and confusion that had piled up inside of you since the trip. but you kept it all in.

you’d muted the washington's messages, the endless string of “are you okay?” texts too much to handle. it wasn’t that you didn’t appreciate their concern, you did, but you knew that the moment you tried to talk about it, you’d break. you weren’t ready for that.

one night, as the weight of everything seemed to crash down on you, you were sitting on your couch, mindlessly scrolling through your phone, when there came a knock at the door. you didn’t immediately jump up. your first thought was that it was just another mistake. a package, maybe, or a misdelivered letter..

but the knock came again, more persistent this time.

you rose to your feet cautiously, searching your mind for any reason someone might be here. but no matter how hard you tried to piece it together, you weren’t expecting anyone, especially at a time like this.

you opened the door, and there josh stood, with his shoulders slightly hunched, his expression unreadable. your breath hitching at the sight of him..

he looked different. a little worn, like he hadn't been sleeping. his eyes met yours for a long moment, and you could see the hesitation in them.

“hey,” josh speaks quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. his hands were shoved deep into his pockets, his body posture defensive yet somehow vulnerable. “can we talk?”

your heart thudded in your chest. you didn’t know what to say. part of you wanted to slam the door and walk away from all of it. from this entire mess. but another part of you, the part you’d been ignoring for weeks now, knew you couldn’t just keep avoiding him.

you stepped aside wordlessly, your throat tight, he hesitated for a second before entering.

neither of you said a word at first, the silence deafening between you. when josh finally spoke, his voice was rough, as though he’d been holding back for longer than he cared to admit.

“i’ve been a mess,” josh admitted, his hand running through his hair in frustration. he glanced at you, his eyes searching for any kind of reaction, as if trying to gauge how much damage had been done. 

“i didn’t... i didn’t know how to fix it. i didn’t know how to fix what i fucked up between us.”

“josh, you can’t just show up like this,” you said, your voice quieter than you meant for it to be. “you can’t just come here and expect everything to be okay.”

“i know,” he said, his voice thick with regret. “i don’t expect it to be okay. i just... i couldn’t leave it like this. i wanted to explain what happened. why i acted like i did.”

you closed your eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. you weren’t sure what you were expecting from this, but it wasn’t a clean resolution. there were too many things unsaid, too much left to work through. still, his presence here, his willingness to face what had been left in the air, meant something. 

even if you didn’t know what it meant yet.

“i don’t even know where to start,” you said, frustration rising in your voice. “why did you push me away, josh? i don’t understand. i’ve only ever been good to you, why wasn’t that enough?”

josh let out a shaky breath, his hands falling to his sides. “because it was easier to pretend i didn’t care than to deal with how much i actually do,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “you were always there for me, and i didn’t know how to handle that. i didn’t think i deserved it. so, i pushed you away, acted like it didn’t matter—like you didn’t matter—because i was scared of what it meant if you did.”

“do you not see how this has made me feel? no matter how hard i tried, nothing was ever good enough for you. i was never good enough.” your eyes are stuck firmly on the ground.

josh’s face fell, and for a moment, he looked completely undone. “that’s not true,” he said quickly, his voice raw. “you were always good enough—more than good enough. i was the one who wasn’t. i didn’t know how to let you in because... because i didn’t think i could be what you deserved.”

you shook your head, anger and hurt twisting in your chest. “so instead of trying, you just shut me out? you made me feel like i was wasting my time, like i didn’t matter.”

“i know,” he said, his voice breaking. “i know i hurt you, and i hate myself for it. i hate that i made you feel that way. but the truth is, you’re the only thing that’s ever made me feel like maybe i wasn’t completely falling apart. and i didn’t know how to handle that, either.”

his words hung in the air, heavy and vulnerable, but they didn’t erase the pain he’d caused. “you can’t just say that and expect me to forgive you,” you said, your voice trembling. “you don’t get to hurt me and then turn around and admit your feelings like it makes everything okay.”

“i’m not asking for forgiveness,” josh said quietly, stepping closer, his eyes locked on yours. “i’m asking for a chance to prove i’m not that guy anymore. to prove that you mean more to me than i ever let you see.”

"where we stand?" you shot back, your voice unsteady. "we’re standing in the mess you made, josh, and i’m the one who’s been left to clean it up."

josh’s voice rose as he stepped forward, his frustration finally breaking through. “you think i don’t know what i did to you? you think i don’t lie awake every night wishing i could take it back?”

you stood your ground, stepping closer. “what about me, josh? do you have any idea how it felt to keep reaching out, only for you to shut me out over and over? i tried, and it felt like you didn’t even care.”

his jaw clenched, his hand running through his hair as he closed the gap between you. “i didn’t know how to deal with anything! i was falling apart, and instead of dragging you down with me, i thought i was doing the right thing by pushing you away!”

“that wasn’t your call to make!” you shot back, your voice shaking with anger. “you don’t get to decide what’s best for me, josh! i needed you, and all you did was make me feel like i wasn’t enough!”

his eyes flashed, his breath shallow as he took another step forward. “you weren’t the problem! i was! i didn’t know how to let you in– i was scared! you deserve someone better, someone who didn’t treat you like crap because he couldn’t figure out his own shit!”

“and yet, i stayed!” you yelled, your face now inches from his. “i stayed, josh! i kept trying, no matter how much you pushed me away! do you even realise how much that hurt? how much it took out of me to keep fighting for someone who didn’t want to fight for me?”

he was so close now that you could feel the heat radiating off him, his voice trembling as he spoke. “i wanted to fight for you, i did. i just didn’t know how. i didn’t know how to be enough for you, and instead of trying, i ran like a coward. i fucked up, okay? i fucked up, and i hate myself for it.”

your chest was heaving, the intensity between you almost suffocating. “and what am i supposed to do with that, josh? what do you want me to say? that it’s okay? that it doesn’t matter?”

“no,” he speaks quietly. “i don’t want you to say it’s okay. i want you to know that i’m here now, ready to fight for you if you’ll let me. but if you can’t... if it’s too late, then i’ll take that too. just... tell me where we stand.”

the silence that followed was deafening, as you both waited for what would come next.

“and what’s your excuse for the way you treated derek, huh?”

josh’s eyes darkened, his frustration boiling over. “derek?” he repeated, his tone sharp. “yeah, let’s talk about him. let’s talk about how he couldn’t mind his own damn business for five seconds.”

your brow furrowed, anger rising in your chest. “what are you even talking about? derek was nothing but sweet. he didn’t do anything to you, josh.”

josh took another step closer, his jaw tightening. “didn’t do anything? are you serious? he was always acting like he’s better than me, like he knows what’s best for you, for everyone!”

you crossed your arms, refusing to back down. “you mean he was looking out for me? god forbid someone actually gives a damn and calls you out when you’re being a jerk!”

josh let out a bitter laugh, his frustration spilling out in waves. “looking out for you? no, he was trying to play the hero. always in your ear, always making himself the good guy. don’t think i didn’t notice the way he acted around you, like he was just waiting for me to screw up so he could swoop in!”

“that’s insane,” you snapped, stepping closer until you were nearly toe to toe with him. “derek wasn’t trying to replace you, josh. he was doing nothing wrong! you had to nitpick every little thing he did and turn it into some kind of competition!”

josh’s eyes flared with emotion, his voice rising. “maybe i didn’t want him there, okay? maybe i couldn’t stand the thought of him getting closer to you than i was. i already felt like i was losing you, and every time he opened his mouth, it just made it worse!”

“you weren’t losing me, josh,” you said, your voice trembling with both anger and hurt. “but you sure as hell are now. because instead of letting me in, instead of trusting me, you let your jealousy control everything. you treated him like shit, and you pushed me away. and for what? to protect your pride?”

josh’s voice cracked as he stepped even closer, his face inches from yours. “no, to protect you! i didn’t know how to let you see me falling apart. i didn’t know how to handle it, so yeah, i acted like an ass. but you’ve got it all wrong if you think it was about pride. it was about you– it’s always been about you.”

his words echo in your mind as you stare at him, trying to process the mess between you both. 

both of your breaths were shallow, hurried, the tension thick enough to drown in. his eyes flickered between yours and your lips, and you could feel the heat radiating off him as if the air itself was conspiring to close the gap.

josh’s voice was low, almost desperate, as he finally broke the silence. “how could i tell you how much i’ve longed for you? without making a complete idiot of myself?”

you held his focus, the words hitting you harder than you expected, but you weren’t going to let him off that easily. your lips curved into a faint, defiant smile as you whispered, “looks like you’ve already done that.”

his breath hitched, a flicker of surprise and something deeper flashing in his eyes, every inch of space narrowing as if pulled by gravity, daring one of you to cross it.

the seconds dragged on, the tension between you unbearable, as you both stood there. your hearts were racing, breaths shallow.

josh’s eyes flickered to your lips, then back to your eyes. there was so much unspoken between you. so much hurt, so much yearning, it all hung in the air, pulling you closer.

his chest rose and fell with every breath, his fingers still gripping your wrist, but his touch was different now, gentler, your own heart was pounding in your ears, every inch of you screaming to cross that line, to close the gap between you, but something, something, kept you both frozen.

josh’s face softened, his eyes dark with something deeper, more intense. he licked his lips, breath trembling slightly.

“you have no idea how badly i’ve wanted this,” he rasped, the words low, rough, full of that simmering desire that had been building between you.

before you could respond, before the weight of your thoughts could take over, josh closed the distance. his lips crashed against yours, a kiss so intense it knocked the breath out of you. it was like everything was finally set loose. all of the frustration, the longing, the anger. all of it poured into that one desperate, searing kiss. his hands moved, one gripping your waist, pulling you closer, while the other threaded into your hair, his fingers tangling desperately, almost painfully, as if he couldn’t bear the space between you any longer.

your fingers curled into his shirt, holding him there, refusing to let the moment end, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath your fingers. there was nothing tentative about this kiss, it was hungry, impatient, as if both of you were desperate to make up for all the time you had wasted, all the things you had never said, never done.

his hands squeezed at your waist, pulling you impossibly closer.

your fingers curled into his shirt, holding him there, refusing to let the moment end. his lips moved against yours with an urgency that matched your own, the kiss deepening with each passing second.

when you finally pulled apart, gasping for air, his forehead rested against yours. his eyes searched yours, filled with something that looked a lot like vulnerability.

“i’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice hoarse and barely audible. “for everything.”

you shook your head, your hands still gripping his shirt as if letting go wasn’t an option. “you don’t have to say anything,” you murmured, “just don’t push me away again.”

josh’s jaw tightened as he cupped your face in his hands, his thumb brushing against your cheek. “i won’t. i swear, i won’t.”

his hand slid to the back of your neck, gently pulling you back in for a kiss. this one softer, quieter, as if testing the waters. when he pulled back, his thumb brushed over your lip, and he gave a small, almost nervous smile.

“i’m not perfect,” he said quietly, his voice steadying with each word. “but i’ll do better. i swear i will.”

you nodded, your chest feeling lighter. “you better.”

josh's lips curved into a small, relieved smile, and for the first time in a long while, 

it felt like you were both on the same page.

comments and reblogs are appreciated ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ @jenepleurepasbaby

© ruewrote 2024.

[ohlookiehereanotheruser]

Masterlist of Denied Requests 2

Please take a crack at it everyone! Second Wave! More will be added later on!

Mogai

Coinings:

could I please suggest a barn cat pet regressor flag?

A gender term for being connected to Stanford Pines from Gravity Falls? And/or the other (main) characters if you want to?

Editblr

Blinkies/Pixels/Stamps/Widgets:

hiii can i request stamps or blinkies based off of hitchcock by yorushika?

could you do astro from dandy's world stamps ?

can you make a cure majesty(from hirogaru sky precure !) widget? for twitter btw?

Userboxes:

"this user is a slasher protag", maybe with cyan/yellow and red/silver variants?

can I have a userbox with the text saying “this user is every woman” with the small image box being the album cover of chaka khan’s chaka (1978) album, and the background being a color similar to chaka’s dress in the album cover?

Moodboard/Stimboards:

can i please request a stimboard based on the warden from superjail? purples, reds, and just generally silly things would be vv cool!!

can i request a macalo and ivan (ftrf) stimboard??

can you pretty please make a x men nightcrawler stim board???

Could you do a stimboard of Stinky Chuzzle from Chuzzle 2?

do you think you could make a Shawn from total drama stimboard with related stims? -

do you think you could make a cosmic browines, lunchables, and koolaid themed stim board, or just a stim board thats themed around popular kids food back in the 2000s?

can i req a centricide stimboard?

Satw Sweden with lots of blue and yellow and also a technological theme stimboard?

can you do a plural rui stimboard? With rings of various colors?

applejack x pinkie pie stimboard? -

Can I get a moodboard based on Junior Spaceclaw with some mood of bug hating and the alike?

May I please request a moodboard of Willy Wonka from Wonka (2023) with the colors sage green and fuchsia?

Special:

Could you do a moodboard for Logan Mitchell/Kendall Knight (Big Time Rush - specifically from the show) using pictures of them from the show (not real life) with themes of devotion and dependency and purple and blue colours?

Icon Requests:

can i req some icons of judgement boy from the gregory horror show??

could you do emily dickinson paci icons?? (from the show dickinson, not the real person)

can i request x (mega man) icons if possible?

Can I ask for rukia kuchiki pfps / graphics? (Bleach)

Could you do some icons of Claude von Riegan from Fire Emblem: Three Houses/Three Hopes?

may i request sigewinne icons, please? -

can u do yugoslavian or serbian flag inanimate insanity tea kettle icons?

can i req icons of simon henriksson from cry of fear?

may i req gumi icons ? (vocaloid) (2 people asked for this)

Can I request a k-angel reply cons with like a super pastel pink color?

Rentry Graphics:

would it be possible to request a yuji itadori graphic?

Could you do dc graphics if possible? with nightwing please?

Can you make a rentry graphics themed bsd lucy card (Masquerade)

hi can i request a teardrop from bfdi graphics?

can you please do a dave strider rentry graphic thingie? -

Can I request Sua from alnst graphics please?

Can I request Ivan alien stage graphics? (two people asked for this)

Could u please make matching mizuan graphics?

Could I get graphics of empires s1 count fwhip?

Bill Cipher goblincore graphics plleeaassee? -

Hihi! Can you make some graphics of tsugumi aoba??

may I please request a chifuyu matsuno and keisuke baji (tokyo revengers) rentry graphic ?

Can I get a cute graphic of Allan from Smiling Friends? :3 Non gif, please... :]?

Could I request some ennis del mar rentry graphics perchance? (Real Person warning!)

Can i request some shadow the hedgehog graphics? -

Can I get some po-uta (vocaloid) graphics?

Can i request some pink-colored rentry graphics of koishi komeiji from touhou project please?

CAN I REQUEST DIGITAL WITCH MAYURA RENTRY GRAPHICS?

Can I have Pump from Spooky month graphics with a kidcore halloween aesthetic?

can I pls request yosuke hanamura graphics (p4) please and thank you? -

May I pls request cutesy graphics of Patisserie Peach from Princess Peach: Showtime?

can i please have shinjiro aragaki rentry graphics?

Can I get some rentry graphics for Rayman/Fakeman from Captain Laserhawk: a Blood Dragon Remix?

can you please make butter roll rentry graphics? With a weirdcore theme if possible?

could you make hua cheng graphics? -

can i please get yosuke hanamura graphics in a orange and white theme? preferably one with text that says INTERESTS on it!

could u do pest from regretevator rentry graphics? mostly red colored?

may i request tetora nagumo from ensemble stars rentry graphics?

can i get paul from eddsworld graphics please ?

NPTs/SNPTs:

iso from valorant id pack?

May i request a religious ID pack?

Can I request a barrel jellyfish id pack?

kinich npts pleasee?

can i req 3rd life ren names + pronoun suggestions? (NPs only) -

Could i get name suggestions for an envy (Inside Out Movie)?

Can i request an id pack based off of 1x1x1x1 from roblox :3?

Could I request name suggestions for Black Hat from Villainous?

could i please get some npts related to cannibalism?

Dividers/Borders:

can you please make a lotus border with leaves?

may i request some red Moonlight Cookie Alluring Crescent Moon Costume dividers from CR:OB please?

Purple science-y dividers please?

Can I get some sylveon themed banner/dividers?

Custom NPTs/SNPTs

None Submitted

PNG/Render/Mask Requests:

hiii may I request kyouka izumi from bsd renders??

Maybe kirishima pfp mask? (MHA)

can you please make a BFDI themed pfp mask?

could you make a columbina mask?

Layout Requests:

can you do a dark blue moon-themed shin tsukimi yttd layout?

could i request a rentry layout themed after the youtuber yumi ? it's perfectly okay if not !!! id love it if it had the colors pink and blue :)

Could I request a blue webcore discord layout for Spat from hamtaro?

could i req a matching ushijima and oikawa tumblr layout??

Can I request a light pink/ girly akaza layout? (akaza is from demon slayer.)

may i request ichisaki tumblr layouts? -

Could you do a tumblr layout of Kiui Watase from YoruKura aka Jellyfish can't swim in the night?

Could you do mizi and sua (alien stage) layout?

maria marionette layout, maybe? (Nijisanji warning)

can you do leafy bfdi + kangel nso graphics?

may I please request an Aether layout with themes of glitching and the color blue? No kin/id/me tags if possible. -

Package Request:

Can I geta xilonen tumblr layout, please? and maybe some replycons /the three paimon stickers?

Can I get a sea fairy cookie (crk) banner, pfp, big dividers (top and bottom), little dividers (middle), a few replycons, those little banners, and whatever else you can?

Template Request

Could i request a mitsuri rentry template for a yumeship/fictional other list? ✅

can request a temp rentry of Colette from brawl stars?

could u do an ivantill rentry template?

This is the second list, at this point, people have submitted asks to us. Thank you for your cooperation with the enititative.

[tttewolves]

My TTTE Shippings and Their Songs!🎶

James x Thomas = Shivers by Ed Sheeran ❤️💙

Edward x Henry = Halo by Beyoncé 🩵💚

Gordon x Rebecca = Until I Found You by Stephen Sanchez 💙💛

Percy x Rosie = There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back by Shawn Mendes 💚❤️

Toby x Nia = Shallow by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper 🤎🧡

Emily x Caitlin = She Likes Girls by Metro Station 🖤🩷

Duck x BoCo = Hard Love by NEEDTOBREATHE 💚💚

Douglas x Oliver = Leave a Light On by Tom Walker 🖤💚

Mavis x Glen (OC) = Moondust by Jaymes Young 🖤🖤

Ryan x Kirra (OC) = Love You Like A Love Song by Selena Gomez and the Scene 💜💚

[cintasfics]

Blue eyes and the tie to match

pairing: carlton lassiter x oc

wc: 551

summary: a case involving models and a fashion designer causes some changes to occur within the group style-wise, and marley can’t help but voice her appreciation

warnings: none

a/n: a quick little piece based on 02x15 where shawn and gus go undercover as male models. juliet was looking fine in her new clothes and I thought lassiter looked so cute in his new tie! though I have to say that I’m a proud member of the striped tie gang, they’re probably my favourite on him.

The trio made their way into the station, on their way to inform the chief of the plagiarised designs and newly uncovered motive, but they were frozen in place as Juliet crossed their path in her eye-catching new outfit. Joined in the hallway by Lassiter, they all took a moment to take her in, admiring her hair free from its usual up-do, her cinched waist, and the open-toed heels adorning her feet. They all shared a look of awe before following after her.

‘What happened to you?’ the chief was similarly stunned by the detective’s new appearance.

‘I am a woman, chief. And I am choosing to dress like one,’ came Juliets proud response, the outfit and her friend’s reactions giving her ego a boost.

‘You can say that again,’ Marley’s whistle of appreciation earned her a wink and a flick of the hair.

‘You can’t do that, O’Hara,’ protested Lassiter, not used to seeing his partner so glammed up.

‘I paid for it myself. I was feeling good about myself, it was my lunch break and… Carlton, is that a new tie?’

Not wanting to admit that the heartbroken model’s critical appraisal of his clothes got to him, he rebuked her observation with a quick ‘don’t be ridiculous.’

~}i{~

As the group made their way to the cars out front, set on paying Emily Bloom a visit, Marley fell into step beside Lassiter.

‘I like your new tie, by the way.’

‘Oh, uh, thanks.’

‘It really stands out against the grey of your suit, plus it brings out your eyes.’

Taken aback by her unexpected compliment, he stumbled over his words, ‘my eyes- you like-.’

His heart was already beating faster than normal from her words and the shy smile directed his way, but Shawn’s hand suddenly landing on his shoulder made it feel like it was about to jump out of his chest.

‘Hey Marls, I can’t deal with Gus’ lavender scented everything anymore, so I’m gonna ride with Lassie and Jules to save myself the headache.’

‘What? That’s not fair! If I have to suffer through it then so do you,’ her own timidness from working up the courage to comment on Lassiter’s new tie was quickly forgotten in favour of arguing with Shawn.

‘I’ve suffered enough dealing with Fabio over there as well as my dad’s ‘relationship’ issues all alone while trying to crack this case, while you’ve been off galivanting doing god knows what, so I deserve this small bit of respite.’

‘Galivanting? I’ve been working, Shawn!’

Lassiter shrugged Shawn’s hand off his shoulder as he and Marley continued to fight over who would ride in what car, his heart rate slowly returning to its normal rhythm.

It wasn’t often that Lassiter received compliments, not sincere ones at least, and certainly not about his appearance. Most compliments he received these days were almost entirely to do with his work, so the fact that Marley had taken the time to comment on his tie (as well as his eyes), made him feel… warm inside? The feeling was so unfamiliar at this point that he wasn’t quite sure how to describe it.

All he knew, as he watched the woman walking away as she argued with her friend, was that he would be wearing blue ties more often.

[play-now-my-lord]

Extremely funny that British and especially Irish names were popular in France among millennial/gen-X parents so we're in for a long period of American women on their Emily in Paris shit being swept off their feet by a guy named Shawn Thomas

[petergerakaris]

Caravan (Owl Painting), 84 in. x 84 in., Oil on canvas. 2012. National Museum of Wildlife Art Permanent Collection (Jackson, WY). Purchased with funds generously donated by Adrienne & John Mars. Artwork & images ©Peter D. Gerakaris. All Rights Reserved. TRAVELING EXHIBIT: UN/NATURAL SELECTIONS: WILDLIFE IN CONTEMPORARY ART

Installation Views & Museum Preview at The Huson River Museum (Yonkers, NY)

OCTOBER 13, 2023 – JANUARY 14, 2024

From Julie Buffalohead and Kiki Smith to Walton Ford and James Prosek, the artists in this exhibition represent another stage in the evolution of animal art. Wild animals have been present in art since the first artists painted images on cave walls or carved figures in stone tens of thousands of years ago. Today’s artists continue to use animal imagery as away to address humanity’s interconnectedness with the natural world. Un/Natural Selections: Wildlife in Contemporary Art, organized by the National Museum of Wildlife Art, explores the meaning of these creative expressions within the context of contemporary art. Featuring a diverse group of more than forty artworks from the National Museum of Wildlife Art’s permanent collection, the exhibition offers a wide range of styles in a variety of media, divided into four thematic sections: Tradition, Politics,Science, and Aesthetics. These realms act as overlapping chapters, investigating the ways we use animal imagery to tackle human concerns and responsibilities. The title of this exhibition is a play on Charles Darwin’s concept of natural selection from his pivotal writing, On the Origin of Species (1859). Darwin’s ideas contributed much to the development of wildlife art in the late nineteenth century, as artists began to represent animals in natural habitats, enacting natural behaviors. From Julie Buffalohead and Kiki Smith to Walton Ford and James Prosek, the artists in this exhibition represent another stage in the evolution of animal art: choosing to represent animals in alternative, unnatural spaces—spaces more often directly linked to civilization than to wilderness. LEARN MORE

FEATURED ARTISTS Troy Abbott • Timothy Berg and Rebekah Myers • George Boorujy • John Buck • Julie Buffalohead • Mark Dion • Mark Eberhard • Dave Eggers • Juan Fontanive • Walton Ford • Scott Fraser • Peter Gerakaris • Gillie and Marc • Penelope Gottlieb • Starr Hardridge • Nicola Hicks • Dennis Hlynsky • Barbara Kassel • Zoe Keller • Wendy Klemperer • Kollabs, Anke Schofield and Luis Garcia-Nerey • Emily Lamb • Ruth Marshall • Wendy Maruyama • Robert McCauley • William Morris • Marc Petrovic • James Prosek • Shelley Reed • Preston Singletary • Allison Leigh Smith • Kiki Smith • Shawn Smith • Lauren Strohacker and Kendra Sollars • William Sweetlove • Leslie Thornton • Paul Villinski • JenMarie Zeleznak

Un/Natural Selections: Wildlife in Contemporary Art is organized by the National Museum of Wildlife Art. Generous support provided by Art Bridges.

[maya-matlin]

From any fandoms, pick 3 of your favorite ships from each letter of the alphabet (based on their ship name) ex: A:(three ships) B: (three ships) and so on. If there’s only one that exists per letter that’s okay too! 😊

Uh.. I'll try! I can't promise anything for some of these letters.

A:

1.) Adam & Becky (Degrassi)

2.) Angel & Cordelia (Angel)

3.) Alex & Marissa (The OC)

B:

1.) Betty & Jughead (Riverdale)

2.) Brooke & Lucas (One Tree Hill)

3.) Brittany & Santana (Glee)

C:

1.) Chandler & Monica (Friends)

2.) Cory & Topanga (Boy Meets World)

3.) Craig & Ashley (Degrassi)

D:

1.) Drew & Bianca (Degrassi)

2.) Dan & Blair (Gossip Girl)

3.) Dawson & Jen (Dawson's Creek)

E:

1.) Ephram & Amy (Everwood)

2.) Elizabeth & Jason (General Hospital)

3.) Emily & Naomi (Skins)

F:

1.) Fred & Gunn (Angel)

2.) Faith & Buffy (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

3.) Felicity & Noel (Felicity)

G:

1.) Graham & Megan (But I'm a Cheerleader)

2.) Georgia & Joe (Ginny & Georgia)

3.) Ginny & Marcus (Ginny & Georgia)

H:

1.) Holly J & Sav (Degrassi)

2.) Hannah & Bright (Everwood)

3.) Henry & Alex (Red, White and Royal Blue)

I:

1.) Isak & Even (Skam)

2.) Iris & Miles (The Holiday)

3.) Isabel & Kyle (Roswell)

J:

1.) Jay & Manny (Degrassi)

2.) Joey & Caitlin (Degrassi)

3.) JT & Liberty (Degrassi)

K:

1.) KC & Clare (Degrassi)

2.) Kirsten & Sandy (The OC)

3.) Karma & Amy (Faking It)

L:

1.) Luke & Lorelai (Gilmore Girls)

2.) Logan & Veronica (Veronica Mars)

3.) Leo & Piper (Charmed)

M:

1.) Michael & Maria (Roswell)

2.) Marshall & Lily (How I Met Your Mother)

3.) Mike & Phoebe (Friends)

N:

1.) Nathan & Haley (One Tree Hill)

2.) Nancy & Steve (Stranger Things)

3.) Noah & Allie (The Notebook)

O:

P:

1.) Pacey & Joey (Dawson's Creek)

2.) Pacey & Andie (Dawson's Creek)

3.) Patrick & Kat (10 Things I Hate About You)

Q:

1.) Quinn & Santana (Glee)

2.) Quinn & Logan (Zoey 101)

R:

1.) Ron & Hermione (Harry Potter)

2.) Ricky & Gina (High School Musical: The Musical: The Series)

3.) Riley & Maya (Girl Meets World)

S:

1.) Sean & Ellie (Degrassi)

2.) Shawn & Angela (Boy Meets World)

3.) Sam & Mercedes (Glee)

T:

1.) Tiny & Shay (Degrassi)

2.) Tristan & Miles (Degrassi)

3.) TJ & Cyrus (Andi Mack)

U:

V:

1.) Victor & Tea (One Life to Live)

2.) Veronica & Cheryl (Riverdale)

3.) Veronica & Betty (Riverdale)

W:

1.) Willow & Tara (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

2.) Waverly & Smash (Friday Night Lights)

X:

1.) Xander & Sarah (Days of Our Lives)

2.) Xander & Anya (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Y:

1.) Yousef & Yana (Skam)

Z:

1.) Zig & Maya (Degrassi)

2.) Zoe & Grace (Degrassi)

3.) Zane & Riley (Degrassi)

[rj0186]

Hello there! Welcome to the circus I call my Tumblr account where I mostly post Aesthetic Collages of my favorite characters!

Here is a masterlist of all the Aesthetic Collages I've done/ones I hope to do in the future.

The list isn't complete and will be added too!

Bendy And The Ink Machine

Henry Stein

Demon!Henry Stein

Sammy Lawrence

Norman Polk

Wally Franks

Joey Drew

Allison Pendle

Susie Campbell

Shawn Flynn

Bendy

Boris

Audrey Drew

Marvel

Bucky Barnes

Hawkeye

Steve Rogers

Sam Wilson

Netflix!Daredevil

Ultimate Spider-Man

Spider-Man

Iron Fist

Nova

White Tiger

Power Man

The Lizard

My Hero Academia

Shota Aizawa

Tamaki Amajiki

Present Mic

All Might

Izuku Midoriya

Tenya Iida

Fatgum

Hitoshi Shinsou

Sir Nighteye

Twice

Kurogiri

Shoto Todoroki

Ninjago

Kai

Jay

Zane

Cole

Lloyd

Nya

Sensei Wu

Sensei Garmadon

Pixel

Gravity Falls

Stanley Pines

Stanford Pines

Dipper Pines

Mabel Pines

Bill Cipher

Gravity Falls

Stan & Ford

Dipper & Mabel

Star Trek (TOS)

Captain Kirk

Spock

Dr. McCoy

MCU (Markiplier Connected Universe)

Damien

Actor!Mark

Wilford Warfstache

Abe

Celine

The D.A.

Yancy

Heist!Mark

Engineer!Mark

Engineer!Mark 2

The Captain

Darkiplier

Unus

Annus

Unus & Annus

A Heist With Markiplier (canon ending)

DC

Red Robin

Red Hood

Robin (Damien Wayne)

Batman

Young Justice:

Robin (Dick Grayson)

Wally West

Superboy

Red Arrow

Artemis

Blue Beetle

Nightwing

Arrowverse:

The Flash

Cisco Ramon

Caitlin Snow

Harrison Wells

Barry Allen

Reverse Flash

Green Arrow

Oliver Queen

Felicity Smoak

John Diggle

Roy Harper

Rip Hunter

Sara Lance

Gideon

Nate Heywood

Ray Palmer

Mick Rory

Martin Stein

Jefferson Jackson

Firestorm

Five Nights At Freddy's

Movie!Mike

Michael Afton

William Afton

C.C.

Elizabeth Afton

Henry Emily

Charlie Emily

Freddy Fazbear

Bonnie

Chica

Foxy

Withered Bonnie

Golden Freddy

The Puppet

Five Nights At Freddy's (The Movie)

Resident Evil 4 (Remake)

Leon Kennedy

Luis Serra

Ashley Graham

Youtubers/Others

8-BitRyan

Dawko

Thinknoodles

Lixian

Star-Going-Supernova

Other Egos

Dawktrap

Antisepticeye

Star Wars

The Mandalorian

Miscellaneous

Phone Lock Screen

Merlin

Merlin

Arthur

Gwaine

Lancelot

Gwen

Morgana

Leon

Elyan

Percival

Spy x Family

Loid Forger

Yor Forger

Anya Forger

Percy Jackson/Kane Chronicles

Percy Jackson

Annabeth Chase

Nico Di Angelo

Carter Kane

Sadie Kane

[hiddenhope44]

Some traditional sketchbook art

1-I listened to unhappy refrain a lot while I was developing Val in late 2016 so have this long overdue crossover art (prismacolors)

2-art of Lola’s team, goldenrod is pissed (prismacolors)

3-art of Shawn’s team, Molly is team mom the party troublemakers to sleep (crayons)

4-lalamon meets fayetta, Pokémon X digimon fanart makes me very happy and I. Think they’d get along (tombows)

5-chibis of an oc named vivianne cause I need to draw her more (tombows)

6-Persephone chibi (crayons)

7-Emily’s team (crayons)

8- also a page of Emily, she’s fun to draw (tombows)

9-Hokulani and her partner jellymon (crayons)

-and page of savvy’s that I really like. (Prismacolors)

[mcpercky]

So I’ve been writing another SwanQueen Fanfic and decided to share my playlist with you guys. It servers as inspiration for me when writing about them so it might help someone else. Feel free to add songs that you think fits this couple :)

My SwanQueen Playlist

Love/ Fun:

Afterglow - Taylor swift (one of my personal fav)

In my room x you came - remix + speed up

Those eyes - New West

I’ll be waiting - Cian Ducrot

Soldier, poet, king - The Oh Hellos

Daylight - Maroon 5 (one of my personal fav)

Emily - James Arthur (this one but Henry’s name)

I hear a symphony- Cody Fry

Enchanted - Taylor Swift slowed

Fire on fire - Sam Smith

Tacones Rojos - Sebastian Yatra

Numb - marshmellow ft Khalid (for this one I always imagine every character in the Rabbit Hole having a blast)

Fix you - Coldplay

Speechless - Dan + Shay

Still falling for you - Ellie Goulding

Here with me - d4vd

Always - Gavin James

If you’re not the one - Daniel Bedingfield

Dandelions - Ruth B.

Infinity- Jaymes Young

True love - Pink (one of my personal fav + literally them)

Hurt/ Comfort:

I drink wine - Adele

Car’s outside - James Arthur

Love you in the dark - Adele

Wonder - Shawn Mendes (one of my personal fav)

Touch - Sleeping at last slowed

Saturn - Sleeping at last (one of my personal fav + very deep song)

Dancing all alone - Clinton Kane

Forget me - Lewis Capaldi

Atlantis - Seafret

Iris - googoodolls

Past lives - sapientdream (cover)

In this shirt - the irrepressibles (very deep song)

Let’s hurt tonight - One Republic

Hold on - Chord Overstreet slowed + rain

You say - Lauren Daigle

If the world was ending - Jp Saxe

Rescue - Lauren Daigle

Don’t give up on me - Andy Grammer

Falling like the stars - James Arthur

Ghost of you - 5 SOS

Control - Zoe Wees (Regina feelings)

Silence - Marshmellow ft Khalid slowed

What hurts the most - Rascal Flatts

The loneliest - Maneskin

Pointless - Lewis Capaldi

Set fire to the rain x another love mashup

As the world caves in - Sarah Cothran

Naked - James Arthur

Angst/ War zone:

Bones- Imagine Dragons

How to train your dragon - flying theme (literally imagine Emma coming to a fight on a back of a dragon holding for dear life but still showing off and waving her sword)

Once upon a dream - Lana Del Rey

Uprising - Muse

Stranger things theme song - C418 remix

Star walkin’ - Lil Nas X

Venom- Eminem

Demons - Imagine Dragons

Whatever it takes - Imagine Dragons (literally every imagine dragons song makes me want to throw hands lol)